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spnfanficpond · 4 months

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November/December 2023 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch

Five-Finger Discount by @talltalesandbedtimestories

This story is so smartly written - so many fantastic descriptions and lines of dialogue and it flows so beautifully. I didn’t want it to end. If you don't already have an obsession with Dean's hands, you will by the end of this fic.

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Nominated by @annahmiraculousmillenium

A New Form by Kenophobia (AO3)

I'm nominating this story because it introduced me to a new tag I really like now: "Shapeshifter Dean" Sam is bossy (and Dean actually obeys!) Bobby is in there! John dies! And other cool things I don't want to spoil. Also, it's gen.

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Nominated by @glygriffe

Said the Salmon to the Sea by @bendingsignpost

A mesmerizing (or mermaid-rising?) Dean-centric story about change, about the fact that it comes whether we want it to or not, and how the heck we deal with it. “If this is as far as we can go, it’s as far as we can go,” Dean says with a heavy shrug. Slowly, Sam says, “It’s as far as I can go.” “Yeah, that’s what I just said.”

The Angel of Emetgis V by Kayliemanlinza (AO3)

I read this as part of the Dean/Cas Reversebang 2022 (with beautiful art by @missaceriee) and the concept of true-form Castiel as an alien meeting "grease-monkey" Dean in deep space is compelling as much as how love is expressed between species. (Here is the original DCRB post that made me discover the story)

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Nominated by @heavenssexiestangel

Unlikely by @apocalypseornaw

This story was written for me for the Secret Santa hosted on the Pond. It's a lovely fic with Ketch/GN!Reader, something there kind of is a lack of (both with GN and Male reader inserts). And like, also with Ketch lol it was a really nice pick-me-up as I'm not having the best of times right now, and it made me read an author I didn't know before, so it's a win-win Situation!

Follow That Car! by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD (AO3)

A really nice, short Ketch/Dean story with a side of murder. "I wish to fuck you, Dean" is forever embedded in my brain.

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Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

Spotless by @stusbunker

This is a Dean x reader AU with SO MUCH DELICIOUS PINING!!!! And now Bela's involved! And the reader gets to watch Dean and Bela make heart eyes at each other!! SO MUCH YUMMY ANGST!!!

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Nominated by @salt-n-burn-em-all

Care and Feeding by foolishgames (AO3)

Sam is somehow turned into a cat. The best stories are the first and last ones if you are not an S/D reader, then can be read as mostly Gen.

Dissecting the Bird by nigeltde (AO3)

♥♥♥ Just right.

The Witch and the Wolfen by meus_venator (AO3)

I love everything about this story- meus has an amazing talent and this is one I reread often- plus, it just got a second story!

Sounds Like Truth Feels Like Courage by Sprinkle888 (AO3)

Well-written SPN story. Gen, no pairing, but it doesn’t need one. Sam binds them together with some MoL magic rings and finding out how they work is a riot. Some angst, temp character death, but ends happily. 10/10 recommend. Also posted on my Tumblr.

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Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

Slither by Tiamatv (AO3)

I absolutely love this story! The show of cultural differences between Dean and Castiel that even the reader will miss the cues. Lol! The conversation about sex was hilarious especially since Dean doesn’t ask. 😂 Wait until you read the word “clasp”. Poor Dean. Look up the word: hemipene. This stems all the hilarity in the fic. Just wait. Just wait. It’s hilarious!! SPOILER: Castiel is a naga refugee that is half human and half beautiful snake, and Sam basically “adopted” him as a charity project that turns into Dean’s charity project that ends up making him very happy very quickly.

Rubber Duckie Boots by Hexentaenzerin (AO3)

This such an adorable meet-cute. I love it! I also love that Dean wears rubber duckie boots while videoing carpet cleaning videos for his business, which Castiel absolutely loves to watch. Just can’t get enough of seeing Dean in those boots. Castiel even buys a rug to try to get Dean to notice him. **squee** It’s great! The ending is so Dean and Castiel. ❤️❤️❤️

Weighted by Tiamatv and amireal (AO3)

I absolutely love this fic because I actually sleep with a weighted blanket and when my kids are sick, they love their own. I even have one in the car. It’s light but enough to feel it. This is just so fluffy and romantic all thanks to our favorite redhead introducing weighted blankets which helps so much. It’s been shown to even help babies but blankets aren’t great for them. Anyway, they’re so cute and that scene where Dean opens his eyes all slow and gentle with “hey”, just broke me. My husband and I do that periodically and it just means more snuggles and sleep. lol. Poor Castiel thinking he couldn’t have Dean which I understand since Dean has said so much he is straight or implied it rather often. Ugh. This was done so well. I admit I wish there was more especially with Dean exploring this new aspect of himself and with Castiel. Curious to see what their bumps in the road are and how they handle it.

Close Encounter of the Fourth Kind by Fathersalmon (AO3)

First, this is smut. Second. It is fucking hilarious! I rarely find crack in smut. You have to read this hilarity. Dean’s sassy mouth is just amazing in this while Castiel just ignores him. 🤣 If you want to laugh, read this!

Firelight Glow by bleuzombie (AO3)

I just love how it progresses and the ending is great though. It’s so sweet and fluffy. Their connection is so tangible the reader can feel it like the characters do. It also has Trans Dean Winchester, which I always love to read, especially by @bleuzombie who knows how to write them so authentically and truthfully.

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Nominated by @spencereliotwinchester

Stray Hearts by blujay44 (AO3)

It's definitely a weird one, but I really like how fluffy it is. Really, though, it's weird... but it's a feel-good one, especially when Jensen comforts Jared.

Pastiche (orphaned work on AO3)

This is literally one of my favorite SPN fics ever. I reread it a lot. Features Autistic!Jensen and loveable goldenretriever Jared who just wants to get to know his neighbor.

Flash by ellia (AO3)

Short, sweet, almost possessive... Also features my two favorite boys: Jensen and Christian.

For the Taking by veronamay (AO3)

Steamy, sexy, bdsm, Jared and Jensen. What more could you ask for??

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Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

House of the Rising Son by @kittenofdoomage

I really love the idea of Sam and Dean being the bad guys! The story as a whole is so goood!

Blood and Honey by @kittenofdoomage

Dark!Winchesters are my favorite kind of tropes! This is such a great story, very well written!

Baklavas For Your Birthday by @cloverhighfive

This is very cute!!!

Muddy Soul by @impala-dreamer

This is so good! Its very dark at times and you absolutely need to mind the tags! But this is such a great series!

Strangers by @smellingofpoetry

Very cute story!! I liked it!!!

I am my beloved’s and my beloved’s mine by @heavenssexiestangel

Very cute! Very fluffy!!!! I liked it!!!!

THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @spencereliotwinchester, and @heavenssexiestangel!

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studentbyday · 5 months

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week 12/14

sometimes trying to keep up with school and trying to improve your health and be a better person (and seeing slow progress in every domain) makes you feel like this... i've been here before and it took a long, long time to get out. i thought i outgrew it/learned from it, so i would never have to experience it again, but here we are once more 🤷🏻‍♀️ either the challenges got more challenging as i grew older or i have not learned my lesson. i don't know. maybe it's a bit of both... (as in i improved just enough to get comfortable, then comfortable led to relapse when things got harder and i didn't adapt. i think i must've improved somewhat tho bc on the whole, it's not as bad as it once was... this is my sign to keep trying.)

📈 study stats (50-60/10/30):

M: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 T: 🍅🍅🍅 W: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 Th: 🍅🍅🍅🍅 F: 🍅🍅🍅🍅 S: 🍅🍅

🎒 school:

mol bio section 5-7 ✅✅✅

mol bio quizzes (M, F/S) ✅✅

mol bio asst (T-Th) ✅

mol bio lecture 3 (last week) ✅

mol bio lecture 1-3 + overview (this week) ✅✅✅✅

mol bio: FIGURE OUT THE 2 QUESTIONS FROM LAST WEEK'S LECTURE ✅

biochem section 4 ✅

finish biochem paper + reflection (T) ✅

biochem discussion post (F) ✅

psyc ch 2-3 (last week) ✅✅

REVIEW FOR PSYC EXAM (weeks 1-2, 2 weeks per day) (guess who relapsed into rereading her notes? 🙋🏻‍♀️ but since i might not take another psyc course after this, idrc. i still plan to review actively for mol bio and biochem tho cuz that's what i really care about. and i might do some re-organizing of my psyc notes cuz they're a mess and i hate how the learning and memory notes are scattered and how my notes on diff chapters repeat themselves at times bc the chapters repeated themselves, etc.) ✅

psyc lab (end of week) ✅

psyc ch 1-2 + overview (this week)

review for biochem exam (hopefully)

review for mol bio exam (hopefully)

🩺 self-care:

no phone first thing in the morning ✅✅✅✅

water goal 💧🥲

VACUUM ON THE LONG 🍅 BREAK ✅

clean bathroom

LAUNDRY ✅

meditate ✅✅

journal ✅✅

physio exercises ✅✅✅✅✅✅

outside!!! 🌲 (why: it's been a while and the air was so fresh one night, the sharp smell of pine and laundry soap, i wanted to cry it was so beautiful)

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greatwyrmgold · 10 months

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Defining "Rational Fic"

Rational Fic is a term that gets thrown around occasionally in online literary circles, particularly in the orbit of one Eliezer Yudkowsky. This makes sense; Yudkowsky's HPMoR is arguably the reason this (genre?) has any traction or distinct identity.

But what is that identity, and what works fall under the label?

I will attempt to define "rational fic" as a genre the way that the International Roguelike Development Conference 2008 attempted to define roguelikes: By creating a list of factors which make a narrative more "rational-fic-like". Possessing some of these attributes does not automatically make a story Rational Fic, lacking some does not automatically disqualify it, trying to nail down ironclad genre definitions is pointless.

To clarify my points, I will be explaining how these points apply to four narratives that I feel fit the Rational Fic label: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, Worm by J.C. McCrae, Mother of Learning by Domagoj Kurmaic, and of course Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Eliezer Yudkowsky. Please note that, since this is a pretentious blog post and not a formal paper, I didn't bother rereading any of these stories before writing this post. I might mess up details here or there, and apologize for doing so. Hopefully none of my errors are severe enough to undermine the points that actually matter.

There are, I feel, three critical components to a Rational Fic: A rational protagonist (herein called "the hero"), a rational narrative (herein called "the plot"), and a rational setting (herein called "the world").

The world is the easiest aspect to explain. The world has a set of well-defined rules, revealed significantly before they become relevant. The intent is generally, at least in part, to let the reader speculate about what the hero (or other characters) can do to resolve obstacles the plot places in front of them.

In the cases where a work of rational fic is fanfiction, the author is almost certainly trying to force the source work's looser rules to fit this standard of consistency. Results vary.

This consistency of setting is probably the most foundational, least negotiable element of the Rational Fic genre. Many other aspects of a rational fic rely on this consistency to function.

EG is relatively hard science fiction, with its few science fantasy elements being explained well before they become plot-critical. The Battle Room game which takes up the middle majority of the book has clearly-defined rules, because it's basically a school sport. The "simulated" battles towards the tail end are vaguer, but the most critical component—the Dr. Device serving as their primary armament—has its capabilities explained before the training actually starts.

Worm is a bit shonen-battle-manga-ey, in that its various characters all have powers that function on their own internal logic. However: Characters' powers stick to that logic rigidly, there are a fair number of similarities and consistencies in how powers function, and time is generally taken to explain characters' powers before they become plot-relevant (rather than having them explain their own powers mid-fight).

MoL takes great care to show the reader how its various branches of magic work, assisted in no small part by the fact that Zorian spends much of his looped time either searching for teachers or learning from them.

HPMoR is known for, among other things, trying to bring logic to the somewhat inconsistent wizarding world written by JKR. Like MoL, it's set at a magical school; unlike MoL, the wizards don't have that much interest in discovering how magic works (the better to contrast HJPEV, I suppose), meaning that experimentation plays a much larger role.

(Ironically, HPMoR—the quintessential Rational Fic—is probably the least consistent out of these examples. HJPEV pulls off multiple tricks that the wider world thinks impossible, from partial transfiguration to creating a human Patronus that destroys Dementors. Yudkowsky probably intended these to be possible for a while before writing them, but from the reader's perspective, we're told these things are impossible and Harry does then anyways. Which fits the theme of human ingenuity overcoming any obstacle, but still makes the story as a whole fit this part of the definition less comfortably than EG, Worm, or MoL.)

The plot of rational fic is derived from the world. The plot is, in part, a series of obstacles which the hero must overcome to achieve their goals; the hero, being too weak to overcome those obstacles through conventional means, must find unconventional means to overcome them.

Specifically, the hero seeks to discover and exploit unconventional uses of various setting elements, whether that be magic, technology, or something else. Often, they also incorporate an understanding of their enemies' psychology into their strategies. And of course, the climax involves the biggest, most elaborate out-of-the-box strategy of all.

All four of the sample Rational Fics are full of examples of this, to the point that the only way I could explain how this applies to them is listing a bunch of examples that stand out in my mind, which would be spoilery for three and require me to admit that I don't remember anything interesting that HJPEV did.

Speaking of HJPEV: The hero of a rational fic is, to some extent, rational. But what does this mean? First off, it means that they are both the kind of person who can solve big problems with out-of-the-box thinking, and the kind of person who needs to. An underdog, but a clever one.

Ender is a relatively small boy, putting him at a disadvantage in physical confrontations. Battle School does their hardest. And then he fights the aliens that almost colonized Earth twice. Yet, he always wins (to a degree that would get him called a Mary Sue if he were a girl).

Taylor controls bugs, has next to no support structure, and regularly fights enemies which are unaffected by spider bites, really good at killing bugs, or both. And yet, she survives roughly three LotRs of escalating "I can take her"s.

Zorian is unremarkable except for a knack for mana shaping and latent psychic potential. Well, and getting stuck in a time loop. But he overcomes another looper who knows his strengths well enough to prepare countermeasures, including mind blank.

HJPEV is ten, and was raised by Muggles. He defeats a wide variety of magical foes, up to and including a Voldemort who is written to be more rational than his canon counterpart, in his first year at Hogwarts.

The hero is obviously framed as being intelligent, though the details vary greatly from story to story. As important as the places where they're smart are the places where they are dumb; after all, a hero who's just super smart and always makes the right decision is boring!

Ender isn't just smart; he's the smartest, plucked from a smart family and given military training to lead humanity to victory against the buggers. His intelligence takes the form of ruthlessly "seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution," even if that means mortally wounding his bullies to get them to stop. His biggest flaw is his trusting nature; he believes the authorities when they say his bullies survive, he believes them when they say he's being trained to defend the Solar System, he believes them when they say the battles (including his alien genocide) are just training simulations.

Taylor is probably the stupidest out of the four heroes discussed here. She's pretty good at a lot of things, but most notably excels in MacGuyvering a solution out of spider silk, random bugs, and her knife. She has two big blind spots: She's bad at social situations (her primary negotiating tactic is to not negotiate with anyone unless there's a big, obvious threat that people need to work together to fight), and she's not great at considering the long-term impact of her actions. Also, she's the only one of these four who's struggling academically.

By contrast, Zorian is good at school, he's okay at thinking on his feet, and most importantly, he's great at planning ahead. His primary flaw is his antisocial nature; he sucks at dealing with people, doesn't want to, and for much of the story tries to avoid and ignore people.

HPJEV is super-logical, good at figuring out unclear facts and making good plans once he has all the facts. His big weaknesses are his average intuition (contrast Ender, Taylor, and Zorian) and the fact that, despite his pure intentions, he's kind of an unempathetic jerk. Though he's also way better at being a solo hero than Zorian or Ender, so I question whether this is a real weakness...

You'll note that all four of these heroes have blind spots with other people. Ender's people problems are less severe than Taylor's, HPJEV's, or especially Zorian's, but his blind spot still involves other people. Whether this should be considered a component of rational fic per se or simply an incarnation of the socially-awkward-genius trope is a question I will raise without definitively answering.

I could go into deeper detail, pointing out other commonalities between these stories that seem rational-fic-ey, but this has lingered in my drafts for months, so I'm just gonna post it and encourage y'all to add your own thoughts in the notes.

#rational fic #genre #essay

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saints-who-never-existed · 11 months

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Rereading The Terror

Chapter Seventeen: Irving

Okay so first of all, I cannot get over how much this chapter goes out of its way to tell us that Irving is an absolute fuck-machine and how much he thinks he’s in love with Silna. We get paragraph after paragraph about his various saucy encounters including his first with a “clean and pleasant dockside whore names Mol” whose services are paid for by his uncle. Wild stuff.

He was also planning on more or less abandoning his fiancée (And possible child! - ”The consolation grew to interesting heights - Lieutenant Irving knew that he might well be a father by now, two and a half years after the consoling.”) Apparently Book-Irving was thinking about quitting the Navy altogether and going into business in Shanghai. Wee shitebag!

All that filth pales in comparison to the highlight of this chapter though - Irving catching Hickey and Manson in flagrante down in the hold! Huzzah! There’s so much to love about this encounter! - I love that Manson’s first instinct is to advance ominously toward Irving, possibly even meaning to do real harm to him, and it’s Hickey that tells him no. - I love that Hickey comes up with the most pathetically hilarious lie too - “...begging your pardon, sir, Mr Diggle sent us down for some flour, sir. One of them damn rats rushed up Seaman Manson’s trouser leg, sir, and we was trying to set it right. Filthy buggers, them rats.” Outstanding! - I love the description of Hickey that follows too - “The words were a challenge and a defiance. Almost a command. Insolence came off the little man in waves...” - And lastly, I love that the first thing Irving says aloud after Hickey and Manson scarper and he’s trying to decide whether to report them or not is “Oh, bugger me...”

As the chapter ends, he finds Silna, who he’s down there looking for in the first place. She happens to be naked and chomping away on some nice fresh meat, just minding her own business. Irving’s so taken aback that he simply says “I’m terribly sorry, madam”, doffs his cap at her, and runs away. How does this man manage to be a world-renowned fuck-machine and a confused little virgin at the same time? Answers on a postcard please!

#The Terror #The Terror AMC #Observations #Random Observations #Meta #Rereading The Terror #John Irving #Silna #Cornelius Hickey #Magnus Manson

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macgyvertape · 8 months

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BG3 Act 2 thoughts and liveblog part 1

Yeah act 2 was the point where I just kept my tablet open so I could write down how my character would roleplay things, and this really stopped just a liveblog. Upon reread, I forgot how many people my character killed through dialogue checks, that weren't hard to pass, during this part of the game. To borrow from D2: "I will take what I need. The words in my throat are the weapon in my fist" really does sum up my character.

I went over the mountain pass first. I demanded the goblin fetch his bone after he did that to the animal, “forcing responsibility” my character is worse than whats in the shadows. Fun that Astarion approves of things like this that play to the Dark Urge but are also about striking against abusers

I wiped out the camp then called Kar’niss with Minthara’s lyre then intimidated him when he questioned me. My character is pretending to go along with the cultists right up until they are acceptable targets for attacks, and I turned on Kar’niss during the harper attack

Was not expecting Mol to show up and vouch for me with Jaheira

I got to hug Karlach, it was so emotional. My D!urge character is definitely fond of Karlach and willing to admit that to herself, likes her enough that making Karlach happy and trying to find a third option to Karlach’s dilemma is an influencing decision factor. She’s leaving it to Karlach to choose between death vs going back to the hells and in the meantime really wants to help Karlach live life to the fullest. She would definitely be happy to sleep with Karlach if she wanted that or help her do whatever hedonistic thing she wanted.

Oh so Wyll’s demon patron showed up, I can’t believe he still says he chose right even after my character pointed out he’s everything he accused Karlach of being. D!urge isn’t emotionally invested in Wyll but Karlach is, so she’ll help.

Ok my character definitely doesn’t trust the Dream Guardian but thinks he’s hot in the new outfit, but is really suspicious he’s secretly a mindflayer

I saw the Stange Ox’s thoughts of murder and let it be, if it wants to run from the dark urges, who am my character to say differently

Of course my character sniffed out the truth serum and didn’t drink the wine. It's very easy making consistent character choices that Astarion keeps approving of. Also of course Astarion approves of talking to the cat, he is one

My character does not play chess, good thing she had Astarion and Gale along and just let them help Mol

My character is obviously not going to help the Absolute since she doesn’t want to be a puppet for his cult, anything he wants she doesn’t want him to have. She felt that Dark Urge to let Isobel get killed then thought how the inn would fall and there goes Karlach’s chances of being helped by Dammon, but there was a moment where she was tempted talking to Isobel until she pushed it back since she doesn’t want the D!urge to rule her.

My character was very flattered that Asatarion said “every step we walk trails blood, killing is an instinct for us. I respect you for that'' especially since Astarion was right there with her doing the killing. My character doesn’t want to turn into a mindflayer but controlling the parasites with Astarion’s plan of a little world domination does sound tempting. Love the idea of him influencing my character into more than just killing the cult

My character is definitely worried about the butler showed up urging her to kill Isobel

This cool looking guy wants justice for murder victims, my character agreed to help for a reward but also out curiosity since she's a murderer will this guy come after me

Love how Lae’zel is inspired by us killing the undead Drider in 1 turn, yep I’m leading our team to be good at killing

Gave Shadowheart her favorite flower, and told her that she’d give me something in time, since we aren’t so close that my character wouldn’t think of this as an exchange

I let Lae’zel beat me in the fight, but turned her down when she asked me to be hers. I assume that ends the fling so I figure its just a messy relationship that my character feels awkward about

My character’s line in the sand is not extorting a child for money to find their parents, liked the “muster some kindness for once”

Also my character loves the Phalar Aluve sword, all it took was some blood in the underdark and I can buff my allies or hurt enemies around me

Of course I killed the undead brewer with his own brew and was D!urge inspired by it, it was peak my character performing as a bard with my feats, faking the drinking to gain confidence and exploiting an enemy for information

My character has also been running around with Gale nonstop since entering the creche especially since the shadowlands are in her view “weird wizard shit” so he’s designated Moonlantern holder, and I like to think this is the point she finally grows fond of him and his sense of humor and his stories.

Astarion’s line about pitying the other six stuck with Cazador and how Cazador tortured him, like my character felt really sympathetic listening to that. Cazador was already in the kill list, now its help Astarion kill him extra painfully

My character was surprised Wyll made a pass and it wasn’t just for casual sex, she thinks if Wyll wants a committed relationship there are a lot more morally compatible companions, like Karlach, than her.

Madeline snitched on people to the Dark Justicars and got them killed in a brutal way and He Who Was wants to torture the souls of murders, seemed the most fitting way was to make her spirit in his body recreate how the people died by stabbing themselves, it seems fair to my character that He Who Was also feels some of the pain if he’s going to be weird about this

My character’s opinion of Shar is dropping with encounters of people like Malus Thorn so she hasn’t been spending much time with Shadowheart.

Raphael showing up and warning me in his dramatic manner about unleashing a pestilence if a creature makes it out of the tomb I open, my character is definitely on high alert. That Astarion will get his scars translated, adds impetus to not mess around. I then thought this would lock me out of things and left for later

My character did enjoy convincing all the Shar nurses to turn on each other or commit suicide. I killed Sister Lidwin for torturing/kiling Arabella’s parents, figured my character would be happy to avenge them. Used the bard actions to be kind when telling Arabella about her parent’s deaths, and Karlach and Astarion approved which re-emphasises is probably some good positive moral reinforcement for my character

Halsin’s portal was defended by prepping the surrounding area in flammable surfaces and throwing a lot of bombs and fire damage spells

Finally unlocked Halsin as a companion, wish I had figured out how to do this earlier. Oh well, that’s for the next playthrough.

My character is thrilled, she’s super attracted by how buff Halsin is but also finds him really charming. He seems open to causal relationships and she’s impressed that someone who doesn’t had a tadpole joining in to help out and hopefully he can defend himself unlike that poor bard.

The one person my character wishes she could ask for money is Rolan for rescuing him from his own idiocy

Initial Moonrise tower team is Astarion, Gale, and Halsin. Its an unbalanced team but figured my character would choose along the lines of people who could infiltrate and lie, and would be open to Astarion’s plan of some light world domination plus Halsin who has unfinished business

My character is worried that the cat says she was there before, and wonders how monstrous she was to deliberately step on a cat’s tale. I chose the option “try to remember what was forgotten” and even though it killed the cat I decided to keep that choice for rp purposes, since my past evils aren’t so lost. Want to amp up my character being worried about the loss of control and what monster they were, as well as the fact she’s done risky stuff in this quest to figure out their past or gain more power.

My character figures whatever monster she might have been the woman mind dominating the knolls to be “better people” is far more fucked up. So of course she influenced the knolls to turn on her, but was surprised and discomforted that they too recognized her

My character gave Araj some of my blood continuing the train of fucking around with sketchy things for power. She spoke up that Astarion was his own person but was like “Astarion why don’t you want to just bite her for this great reward?” since I like to think she’s a little confused on what others will do for power if it isn’t life or death (convincing people about the tadpoles was life or death) and the person hasn’t set firm boundaries. Then when Astarion said he really didn’t want to she was like “don’t do anything you don’t want to”, and when he thanked her, she assumed it was for not trying to persuade him.

Ketheric Thorm immediately got cooler once I heard his voice and recognized it was JK Simmons. Also oh wow its Fezzerk from Blighted Village windmill so many many hours ago

Lol of course my character didn’t speak up for the goblins, it would blow my cover and they were torturing Barcus Wroot when I met them, and they aren’t going free since they serve the Absolute. My D!urge character did “BEG! CHOKE! DIE!” (I originally chose “I will do this with my own hands, it always feels better” and liked it more for the role playing but it gave no Astarion approval)

I sat in Kethric’s throne and Astarion had the funniest dialogue mocking me. Fitting that I then distracted from my mind being searched for loyalty by focusing on my lust for Astarion

Act 2 in the shadowlands has really been my character growing closer to Gale, where she’s moved beyond being fond of him to actually caring for him which makes not feel awkward about how much he really likes her. Especially since she hasn’t been persuading him to like her, and hasn't pushed him to go for the power and ambition or to be less loyal to Mystra. She's just agreed with his ambitions since he has (in her view) a good mix of pragmatism and morals, and she thinks he's a loyal type of person so she doesn't need to watch her back. So she encouraged him to do the pixie necromancy and then thought it would be a good time to bring up he doesn’t have to live by Mystra’s doctrine and has a choice about the orb.

Yeah of course even though it made Karlach feel bad my character stood with her and listened to 3 sad stories in exchange for some demon coins, and then told her I was her real friend and my D!urge character actually meant it. (Actually I’ve never used the demon coins to empower her since I forgot about that mechanic till now and I’ve been resource hoarding).

When Astarion thanked my character back at camp again for not forcing him to bite the Drow she was a bit surprised and of course said she doesn’t want him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. My character mentioned “So why sleep with me? Did you think you'd get something from it?” since of course she recognized he was seducing her back in act 1 before they really knew each other, Astarion responded “Of course I needed protection… and seducing you was easy frankly”. My character genuinely respects him for doing that, manipulating her for his own survival and so she’ll like him considering she regularly uses [persuade] and [intimidate]. Astarion mentions he started to genuinely feel something for her, and she responded that she cares about him; genuinely she likes him the most out of the whole group not just romantically but also in terms of the lengths she would go and the things she would do for him.

Ideally my character could choose all the options of “what do you want to do” and “we can be together without sleeping together for as long as you need” and “open your mind so he sees you care”, but since I can only pick one I figure Astarion knows my character can lie even in their mind so best just talk to him with words.

When Gale wanted to speak privately and was melancholy about his future death my character took every opportunity to say that they would find another way, he didn’t have to die, but didn’t mention anything about how he might kill innocents because she would kill those same innocents herself to keep Gale alive. When she met Gale on the cliffs it was really I think the moment she acknowledged she cares about Gale and him living, that she’s turning down an easy way to destroy the Absolute. When Gale said “I consider myself lucky to call you my friend” my character genuinely meant it when she said the feeling was mutual.

Prisoner rescue team is: Astarion, Gale, and Karlach. Of course I get the “not to worry I have a permit” when I exploit Balthazar not being around to contradict me having his permission

After talking with the Warden my character is definitely worried they used to be an Absolute cultist before she lost her memory

In the tower jail I used Astarion to 1 hit ko the eyes, then killed the Warden in her tower in 1 hit with an exploding barrel, then threw the gnomes his tools so he could escape, and we made it to the boat without the other 2 guards catching up

My character wants Barcus to realize he can do better than Wulbren, that Wulbren doesn’t like him but is happy to use his concern

After 3 reloads because a companion triggered a trap in the gauntlet of Shar i just said fuck this I’m looking up a walkthrough, this is giving me flashbacks to The Fade section in DA:O

Astarion was upset my character started chatting with the demon in Shar’s Gauntlet, then was impressed when D!urge talked the demon into killing all the companions then itself. My character didn’t care about Astarion saying thanks, she just wanted to see if Astarion was happy with the demon's death and say it was a pleasure to kill him

My character of course was going to help Astarion kill Cazador, she was happy to kill him all the way back in act 1. As for the ritual for vampire ascendant she has her doubts; how many souls need to be sacrificed and is there some other catch.

I didn’t realize we weren’t supposed to follow the rats to the bottom area; then Shadowheart and Gale were inspired when the swarm turned back into a dude and my character was inspired by killing more than 5 enemies in a round. So worked out all around

My character killed Balthazar before continuing through the gauntlet. That was a hard fight, where Gale having counterspell and lots of special arrows helped

My character decided since the deception is at a dead end killing Balthazar she might as well break into Kethric’s quarters. She thought the undead dog Squire was adorable, but all of her fears of her past reading about “the handpicked captain not found in the wreckage” are becoming worse

In front of the Nightsong my character had finally hit the breaking point of tolerance towards Shadowheart’s worship of Shar, and she did charm (to pass the 30 roll persuasion) Shadowheart to not go through with killing the Nightsong because otherwise it would have been a bloodbath killing Shadowheart to stop her.

This is the first time my character used charm/friends on a companion

Looking up other ways to do this afterwards, I guess it fits into role playing my character that over the course of being in the shadowlands and seeing the proof Shar just uses and twists people while Shadowheart stayed devoted, it had a big negative effect on my character's trust in Shadowheart and her loyalties. So much so she pushed the issue at the first opportunity and didn't tell Shadowheart “do what you want” like some other companions, and didn't wait for Shadowheart to change her mind. There's too much on the line to keep the Inn's protections and to fight Ketheric

#mac play video games #baldur's gate #bg3 #liveblog

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braininatankwithalaptop · 21 days

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Personal rant about Mol characterization. don't mind me

Listening to the Shaping Exercises 101 podcast while rereading early Mother of Learning has reminded me so much of how neurodivergent/invisible disability coded Zorian is. It annoys me so much that the hosts are complaining about how Zorian always thinks the worst of everyone and then think the worst of him in all of their interpretation. They think he's lying about needing accommodation in crowds due to a medical condition, they think he's trying to portray himself with a cool and edgy persona when he really isn't, and see the one time he's nice they take as proof that all of his grievances are made up and he just chooses to be a dick. Most of their interpretations are understandable, I may disagree but the way they view and talk about the character is viable. But the comments of "you were nice once, why can't you do that all the time?" makes my blood boil. It's so patronizing and lacking empathy that it makes me want to scream. That's the thing about people who are disabled, they can't do everything they want all the time. And sure, the metaphor of the disability (empathy) hasn't been confirmed yet, but I feel like there's enough hints to give Zorian at least some benefit of the doubt. But no, they project either their own experiences, or their assumptions of loner kids in high school onto Zorian. At one point, one of the hosts offers the possibility that Zorian is being so negative about the date because he actually doesn't want to burden Akoja, and the other shoots it down saying that Zorian just hates Akoja even though textually that's literally what he says.

but he supposed it wasn’t Akoja’s fault that she got roped into this. In all likelihood she had more pleasant plans for the evening than accompanying a surly boy who loathed the experience

Zorian knows he's unpleasant to be around. But he's bitter and he's given up making any real progress with strangers. He doesn't have a superiority complex or misanthrope problem. He's just lost and decided to give up and put out his porcupine quills to others. Again, everyone's experiences and interpretations are valid and valuable, but I just can't get over how neatly the dismissal of Zorian's problems by both the teacher and the hosts maps so neatly to the neurodivergent experience. "I, a normal person, can do this, so why can't you? Aren't you normal?"

#personal #let me be clear #Zorian has a lot of flaws #but he's not a dick just for the sake of being a dick #the time loop saves half his problems as it gives him the opportunity to risk and practice socialization without long term consequences #He gets the chance to figure out who he can trust and how he could build a support network

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cal-cium-the-nerd · 7 months

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There was a luxurious house sitting in the center of the circle, surrounded by a large garden and ornamental trees. It stood in a fairly isolated location and Zach and Zorian actually bought the entire place, so they shouldn’t be interrupted by anyone. Silverlake complained about the amount of money that had been wasted on this, when they could have simply ‘stolen’ a house from someone or picked a random patch of ground, but Zach didn’t want to hear it. He wanted his own pocket mansion, and he wanted it to really be his.

(chapter 89)

You know, something I find very interesting is the phrasing of "Zach and Zorian actually bought the place", it's just... so casually domestic? It's logical for them to share resources/money, yes, but it feels like we are constantly reminded of this, even when it's only one of them who "owns" something (the hydra "belongs" to Zach, yet she's also referred to as "theirs", Zach's little "Wow, you're really determined on spending all our money, aren't you?" comment a few chapters back, etc etc). Little things like these make them feel like a real team/unit

#mother of learning #MoL reread #it also makes them feel very much married but that's beside the point #anyway imagine post-loop ZZ using each other's money out of habit #'why do people look at us weird when we mention we have a joint bank account'#'that's just normal bff behavior... right?'#Zach/Zorian

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what-do-1000-swords-look-like · 1 year

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TW: 1x07 "Reflections"

Disclaimer: It goes without saying, if you don’t like, don’t read. And as I always say, criticism of a show does not equate to criticism of actors (or executive producers) as people so if you choose to continue, please leave all stanage (in particular, AA baggage) at the door.

Written by: David H. Goodman & Robbie Thompson

Directed by: Richard Speight, Jr.

Rating: 6/10

Pros: decent mid-season finale; A+ usage of 15x18 theme for John and Henry's scene & the usage of the Winchester theme; I have decided to adopt an alien-spider dog & I'm starting a group for all alien spider-dog moms on Facebook so let me know if you want to join (Roxy would join but she's, ya know, floating in a dimension somewhere that doesn't have decent Wifi); Samuel's entrance; the Jary kiss felt earned; Speight directing (yes, you could definitely feel it); music choices are starting to be more on point for the time period and the overall vibe of the show

Cons: The Akrida obviously being a copy of SPN demons (which is why we haven't seen too many demons thus far btw) & just the SPN copying in general, I thought this show was supposed to expand the universe, not clone every single facet of it; Bridget's own Party City wig; rather than ADR, they kept Meg's cracking loss of voice in; Dean's voiceover

Dean voiceover: “There comes a time in every hunt when the fighting starts. And the difference between winning and losing isn't whether you have the holy water, the wooden stake, or the silver bullet. It's whether you got the grit to get the job done.” - Still not quite Dean (too much of a bit of an accent present) but closer - you're getting warmer, Jensen

Isn’t Mary concerned they might hear her or John’s voice? If there was someone in there?

Oh boy, Samuel’s bag covered in blood, not good

So in SPN the MoL bunker in Lebanon was empty because of Abbadon, right? Idr that storyline too well, did Abbadon and all of the demons/Hell Knights wipe out all MoL? I wonder if we’ll get the answer later since I see Gil is in this episode

A werewolf, another supernatural guard, just like Mrs. Butters

“Me being in here cooked right through him” - I’m sorry, I’m just going to say it, the Akrida idea and execution is stupid - I seriously feel like this was their response to copy the demons that Dean and Sam came up against in season 1 (with YED leading to Lillith then leading to Lucifer)

Are those 3 spikes on the ground next to Akrida!Hector?

OMG SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WITH THAT HAIR??? Did they shop at the same wig store they got Sam’s wig from in the SPN series finale? That is genuinely terrible - why not just curl Bridget’s actual hair at that point? - there’s a difference between 70’s style hair and a mop head that’s been in a violent windstorm only to then be turned into a wannabe shag carpet

So if she’s the queen of the Akrida, why use a scalpel to threaten this guy? Doesn’t she have the alien spider-dog hanging around at her beck and call? Was he not able to come through the alien spider-doggie door?

Ah, there he is! (love how the guy barely spares him a glance btw)

The Ostium…interesting name...I'm not going to say what it makes me think of, I'm not going to...nope...mm-mmm...lips zipped

And just like that he knows his dad’s handwriting? - I mean, I get that he’s probably read and reread Henry’s letter hundreds of times by now but that seems rather impossible to tell that quickly? Especially not using the letter to reference?

Awww Carlos 🥺

I’m glad they brought Millie in, it feels more like a mid-season finale episode now

Of course Carlos and Mary get pulled over by Mop Head--sorry, I mean Roxy

Ooo Meg, a little bad acting here

The best thing about this scene? Bridget - no surprise there, she always plays a wickedly entertaining bad guy

Nice move, Carlos

Meg sounded sick in this scene, like she was losing her voice a bit - girl, get you some Ricola drops or something. How horrible they made her shoot dialogue when she's literally lost her voice (yes, I know, that's the industry, but still, how does that work in the episode's favor?)

That was a nice scene between Millie and Ada

Good song choice

Awww Carlos doesn’t want to lose Mary or the group, understandable

I love Ada’s magic so far in this show - if they do bring some SPN originals to cross over, I really hope Rowena is one of them, I’d love for her and Ada to cross paths

Oh yeah, Meg is definitely losing her voice *goes all mom and picks up phone to leave Robbie another voicemail; ignores his greeting telling me specifically not to leave another message*

Ah, the infamous Dean/Winchester theme coming into play when John brings the object - this is going to be important for John’s character I’m assuming

So, Henry showed up after all (also love how they had Mary have the lighted up halo as being John’s “saving grace” in the beginning of that scene)

Wow, are they playing the confession scene music during this scene???? W O W - this is obviously very important for John (and this reiterates how important that 15x18 scene was for Dean's character)

And the Winchester/Dean theme comes back into play - wow, they’re really going all out for this one

So I’m confused or maybe I’m just not remembering, do they know Henry died before this moment or how? Or no? If not, neither John nor Millie asked him? And they suddenly knew they needed to do a seance? Or maybe it was in Henry's letter and I'm just not remembering? Like a "if you're reading this, I'm dead" kind of thing?

I think Drake did a great job in this scene

And just like that, Roxy is gone? Bridget did a whole whopping 3 episodes this season? How was she not the queen? Bridget, don't worry, you'll always be my queen, just not of a weird alien bug species - don't worry, girl, I've got you

They sure have a lot of monster essence when they only dealt with 1, 2, 3 tops so far this season?

The first kiss and a callback to the first episode - I wouldn’t say this moment was overflowing with chemistry but it sort of felt earned? Way more than another couple in another show of Jensen's that shall remain nameless *cough* Big Sky *cough cough*

I couldn't help but laugh when the door broke open and their kiss got interrupted only because it was like 'did you guys really forget that a rabid pack of weird alien spider-dogs are trying to break down the door to kill y'all?'

The Samuel save was a good one - I thoroughly enjoyed that part of the scene - not gonna lie, I expected Clark Kent's laser eyes to come into play but Tom/Samuel wielding the Akrida-sucking-ghost-trap-thing was pretty good, too...now he just has to put that thing into the Containment Unit & we're golden, then they can go to that Big Kennel in a random dimension

Gotta say, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about Tom as Samuel but I’ve never been so relieved to see anyone in this show as much as I was with him

So, the monster essences are going to wake the queen, I take it? *thinks about this* Is Mary going to be in a mecha-suit soon doing battle with a huge alien spider-dog/wolf thing? Because I gotta admit, that kinda feels like where this is heading with the whole Alien queen thing (I'm not thinking Aliens, you are) - either that or a huge fucking wasp creature thing

As always, Speight delivers

Episode theme: you have to have the will to get the job done, to keep pushing forward

Monsters: The alien spider-dogs were a bit creepy when there was more than 2 of them - *writes note to self*: do not get more than 2 for the house, keep them out in the yard (good luck, mail person!), do not install any doggie doors, check out alien spider-dog obedience school, tell your neighbors not to let their kids or cats within 500 ft of the property, keep a mop head wig close by and only break out for emergencies, no bath time, and definitely do not feed these little shits after midnight

Chemistry: Mary and Carlos; Ada and Millie; Carlos and Latika; John and Mary

Ending Thoughts: Not bad for a mid-season finale for this show. I think it's starting to make its way, slowly but surely. I’m curious to see how the father/daughter scenes between Samuel and Mary play out when the show returns. I have to say, there were times I had no desire to continue this show due to the writing, the lazy-not-even-hiding-it outright copying of everything SPN, the overall mess, but it’s gotten somewhat better as it’s progressed so depending on how the mid-season premiere goes on January 24th, that will determine if I continue with the series or not (something tells me I will but because I like to be all mysterious and shit so I don't want to give the game away too soon... *whispers* I'll probably continue watching it)

#aa's dni #spnwin #spnwin critical #spnwin 1x07 #spnwin lb notes #spnwin lb notes 1x07 #spnwinposts

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pocketramblr · 4 years

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"And so, the moon and the woman switched places"

#...... what if i stole this myth for mol too hmm #it's not like it totally uh inspired many other things anyway #this is going to be a long reread lol #this is the story Sig tried to tell in the beginning isn't it agdhvf

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nemospecific · 2 years

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Rereading MoL for the nth time (like one does), the thought occurs that Benisek isn't actually as girl-crazy as he seems. That's just a pretense for his intel-gathering hobby.

Much like Zorian finding out that spells for untraceably sending messages can be found under "anonymous love letters", Benisek figured out that the best way to get away with asking all sorts of invasive and personal questions about his peers is if it seems like he's just horny.

"Oh, they're cute... are they seeing anyone? Where are they from? What are there interests? Do they have a sister? Any brothers I should worry about? What are their habits and routines? Are they out of my league? Why?"

and

"Is he still seeing her? Why'd they break up? Who's he seeing now? How do the other girls feel about it? How do the other guys? I'm just trying to figure out when I can make my move, wink wink."

and of course

"I'd love to know more about you- what's that? You want to change the topic to someone else to shut me up? Oh, no, I could never..! I mean, not unless it was something really juicy, of course..."

#mother of learning

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louisdotmp3 · 2 years

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O carver era scholar, what are your thoughts on the ending of the mark of cain arc? (I just finished season 10, and know that you are the go-to person for mark of cain stuff)

my brand! love that

sooo i've gone back and reread my old spn s10 posts and stewed on it a little. i love s10 but there's a lot of messiness and a lot of that messiness comes in the last few episodes, i think. like when sam starts scheming and plotting meanwhile dean by all accounts is like, hangin in there. they could've done a better job at painting dean getting noticeably & worryingly worse in an it's-an-emergency way i think, as it is sam just Decides one episode he has to stop googling mark of cain and start scheming. in general i wish sam had been doing morally questionable stuff all season to really get into monstrosity via loss of identity vs monstrosity via scrabbling for control but that's a different post.

with the thematic stuff surrounding moc i see it as dean's worsening depression brought on from the shattering of his identity in s9 (represented by his death, following sam confronting him about ezekiel and struggling w the moc & monstrousness the first time around - losing the two pillars of his identity: brother and hunter. this is a reading v informed by the concept of ontological security).

anyway this is all setup for me saying that i absolutely think ending the season with dean killing death was the right call, thematically. he's at his lowest point thus far and the whole season the show has been saying you were always going to be a monster, you are fated to struggle this much. he asks cas to kill him. he fantasizes to benny (himself) in werther project about killing himself. death literally whispering in his ear to make this one last self-destructive move. do the thing that you could never come back from. kill your brother (your son) and that will break you forever. the boy on his knees in front of you is your whole identity. kill it and you will be free, death says. kill it and i will end your suffering, death says. and in the end, instead he kills death.

which i guess bring us around to the curse itself, which is literally destroy others or destroy yourself. the number one most fascinating thing any character says about the moc is rowena, when she says within moments of hearing about it: "the mark? it's just a curse. the first curse. but still, it can be removed." the idea that this suffering is nothing new, that it's just a curse, something solvable. she says that in the same episode they do hijinks in heaven with bobby, and i just think that says something about the mark and what it is that the mark means. they hadn't been able to make any headway on the mark at all for a season and a half until an episode with 2 parent figures getting involved.

from this post. it's very much calling to the fact that if sam and dean weren't so isolated from community & family (something that was highlighted in carver era w henry winchester, the now defunct mol and empty bunker, charlie leaving for oz, etc) they would actually be better off and things wouldn't feel like the end of the world all the time because they'd know people who had been through it before !

so i do like that in order to break the curse rowena has to kill the boy she seems to have considered a son - directly contrasting with dean who chooses not to do this when presented with the same choice. but i think any sort of thematic resonance that could be gained from that is sort of overtaken by both the mad dog spell and the crowley drama & ofc the darkness. i haven't rewatched the finale in a while but overall it has a weird tone (starting w the whore of babylon ??) and the ending half is a little clunky. but! there is so much to pull out i think which is par for the course w carver era in my opinion. as always i am watching the little shadow puppets on the cave wall and not the puppets themselves.

#suicide tw #spn meta #spn s10 #ask #restlesshush #thnak u for sending this i have a fuckn blast talking about s10 #one of these days i'm gonna rewatch s11 and test my theory of s11 as a season about the reconstruction of identity

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