#MOVIE TAGLINES ARE HARD OK
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i don't want to mess this up
could it be too much to say i'm in—
#the sims 4#ts4#sims 4#ts4 edit#ts4 render#simblr#aliya's sims#risa#akira#karaoke secrets#OOOH WE GETTING INTO IT NOW#this has more angst than i expected#that wasn't my intention when i thought of doing this edit oops#i could go on and on about the meaning behind it#but ANYWAY#i'm excited are you excited#AND YES I USED THE SING RIGHT BACK LINE AGAIN FIGHT ME#MOVIE TAGLINES ARE HARD OK
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Ok but "Winter Comes to Naples" is actually such a hard tagline for a movie. I love that
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SPNWin 1x09 thoughts
I did this a few times back when SPN aired, just writing out my thoughts while watching. This is mostly for myself so I remember my first reactions haha.
Let’s go.
A very Season 1 finale opening
John and Mary discussing the Dean pic. John thinks the car is nice, Mary notes Dean is nice looking. I mean, someone had to say it
They smooch and then Kyle shows up looking very :) at the two of them. My dude, you had no chance
Dean narrating: “I’ve had more than a few dances with free will. And fate”. Well I already saw a post about this and let me reapeat WHY LAMP
Also Dean saying “This isn’t how I saw things going when I pushed over that first domino” is interesting. That “first domino” being him giving John the letter?
“Fate is what you make it”!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m all in for the clubhouse to get a cat!
Touching magic objects that could get you cursed or make you see a vision of you dying - the Winchester stupid gene
Betty is getting more suspicious of John’s new friends (and I’m getting a bit suspicious of her...). Now she’s coming by Millie’s with that nice dress and letting her hair down...Girl
I like this red haired lady. Red haired ladies are always cool on SPN
Mary: “There’s always another way”. How very Dean of you Mary
OH No RED HAIR! :((
The vampire dude seeing the same vision as John. Well if only he knew what it ment...
Johnny boy is putting on a brave face but he’s scared of the vision :(
John: “What if I can’t change my fate?” But what if you can
Ok John and Mary are cute though
Aww that hug (also the height difference, damn)
*Mary about to break into stuff* *Betty shows up* Oh hey :)))
Betty does not like Mary sneaking around at all...
Still don’t know if Betty is just worried about John and being a cop or if something ~supernatural~ is up with her...I guess we’ll see
Millie being bored by the reading part of hunting. Well that’s why you’re more a Dean person
So John has a history of punching things/being violent I guess. Not surprising but well
Millie: “Fate is what you make it”. Well let’s make that the tagline of the entire SPN universe
Millie is also not a fan of talking about feelings. Winchesters don’t like talking about feelings it’s true
Carlos: “Bank heisting vampires would make such a fantastic movie”. YES
Well of course leaving John behind in the clubhouse was a bad idea because lo and behold the vampires have a map of the place and there’s a secret way in through the sewers. Who would’ve thunk
Don’t argue when you have vampires on the way to kill you! No “I’m gonna buy you some time” nonsense, just RUN
The holy water hair spin!!! It’s so over the top I LOVE IT
Damn, that was some nice killing there Carlos
The vault has the red carpet from John’s death vision - DUN DUN DUN
I love the cliche "I’m trying to look intimitating” walk the vampires (and Mary) do. It’s so campy
Damn, that was some nice killing there Mary
We saw the same thing, the same vision, but neither of us got the full context *SIDE EYEING THIS SO HARD*
That’s some weak CPR Millie come on!
hmmmmmmmmm that is a very suspicious resurrection. That wasn’t Millie or Mary’s doing...Something ~supernatural~ happening here
A “you died but came back from the dead I’m so happy” kiss. We love to see it
Love Lata and Carlos’ reaction to John x Mary haha
Oh hey Anton <3
Patching up Carlos’ leg what a sweetie
Aww Carlos got scared and that’s why he didn’t call Anton back
Second date AND they kiss HEYYYYYYYY
That’s some interesting vault thing that Mary is operating with big blue gloves. Wonder if that vault is gonna be important at some point.
“Is the group dynamic gonna change now that everyone knows [about us being together]” “Idk but we’re stonger together, with no secrets“. Truer words have never been spoken. Don’t start with the doing shit on your own and lying to your loved ones thing. It never ends well.
OMG John and Mary are just really cute this episode
Oh Kyle has been feeding Betty some info about Mary. So maybe Betty is fine but Kyle is up to something
Kyle has the Akrida marks - DUN DUN DUN
This episode was great. Great pacing, alot of fun character moments for everyone, some very interesting implications for SPN. Also I fear Betty might just genuinely be worried about John which ups the chances of her getting murdered. Hope that doesn’t happen.
Only four episodes left o.o
Leaving with this. Look at that height difference :3
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i’m just a reader, standing in front of an author, asking them to fic her.
(yooo you assumed correctly! i AM into doing that wangxian fic ask)
HAAAAA! I knew you'd take the bait.
Ok, so I'm working on a new thing, as I mentioned.
The tagline for this new thing is: The mortifying ordeal of being super attracted to the man you could be married to (but aren’t)
It's a:
Modern au romcom
with childhood betrothal between wwx and lwj (but really a business agreement between their sects don't think about it too hard) where the general agreement was either they'd reach the age of maturity and get married, or they'd reach the age of maturity and the businesses would have had 15 yrs to solidify a partnership and so it didn't matter
THEY DO NOT GET ALONG. lwj is very rule-oriented and wwx is an ADHD gremlin
So at the age of maturity (I have not decided if this is a cultivator-fantasy version of china where marriage equality is also a thing, or like Canada, so the age this happens may change depending) wwx has his birthday and then goes NAH to marrying lwj because he doesn't like him that much and can't see himself married to him
They then go to university in different countries and don't see each other again except a few times commenting on mutual friends on social media
Think the Swan Princess animated movie as the general vibes for them growing up together.
THEN THE STORY OPENS A DECADE LATER:
wwx sees a very hot man, like the hottest man he's ever seen and he's having a crisis about it
wwx then realizes this very hot man is his former betrothed
wwx starts the mortifying ordeal of falling for the person he basically rage quit
(and could have been having sex with for like yeeeaaarrrssssss; so much sex, so many years)
do you know that P&P post about how Darcy had to be turned down to recognize he had to work on himself to be worthy of Elizabeth? general vibe for lwj.
(this I think)
And so wwx fumbles his way through all his conflicting feelings in true wwx fashion, which is to simultaneously address it and also not stare directly at it at all.
ALSO
They use each other's courtesy names until they don't.
It's very sexy.
(if I can make that happen)
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OK I am currently using speech to text because I was just about to go to bed but I just saw the Mario leaks so if you don’t want to know about the Mario leaks please do not read this post thank you.
OK so I just read the Nintendo Life article and I really don’t know what to think about it because the brothers look so weird OK Luigi is kind of cute I kind of dig him him with his character pose I fucking love the “character photos” I was laughing at it so so hard because first off: The Super Mario Bros. Super Show reference!!!!!!! plumbing’s our game … oh my god God I oh my God dude I dude dude dude I and then the and then the Luigi poster with his pose is really cute I think he’s kind of adorable I kind of I kinda love you Luigi… Mario just looks really weird to me like he doesn’t look he doesn’t look normal I hope that in the movie it doesn’t look as bad but I don’t like him personally and then peach peach oh my God I think she kinda looks really cute I love her dress I love I love I love her I just kind of like everything about her I don’t know if I’m really digging … I don’t really know if I’m digging the cartoony aspects of her face especially compared with like Mario kind of I don’t know if somethings … somethings off about Mario in all of these renders that I really just am not meshing with. but peach’s tagline on the character poster “she can do anything” you know that peach is going to be a girl boss #GirlBossMomentsSeriously!!!!! and I guess I was completely wrong about the whole “they’re not gonna show the Mario brothers from Brooklyn” because in one of the posters it says like Brooklyn on the street sign and you can see Pauline in the back so it’s like yeah I don’t really know what to think about this . TLDR Luigi is kind of cute somethings off about Mario I kind of like peach who is a #GirlBoss really excited for the trailer which is apparently dropping tomorrow I just heard about this I live under a rock god damn!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I feel like I cannot possibly be the only person who is tired of hearing “Can you change your fate???” as a tagline in films---is no one else sick of this? I’m not asking it like that to garner cheap post engagement I’m asking because I’ve had a bitch of a time getting my friends to care lol and I feel like I’m the only person who gets this turned up by it.
I don’t wanna get drawn into the who/what/when/where/why of how the ‘fate’ theme gets used in film because the long and short of it is this: With exception for stories for whom Fate is actually a central theme (such Across The Spiderverse), most of the time Fate as a theme is used as a cheap cop-out that overshadows some other more important theme so that the writers can close out the movie faster or whatever.
It bothers me because “Does fate exist” feels like a bit of a non-conversation for the film itself---like, maybe? But nothing that happened in the film really touched on that concept beyond your shitty opening monologue and the shitty ending monologue, so at the end of the day nothing really proved it does or doesn’t exist idk it’s fucking stupid.
I’ve happened upon one of those “two nickel” situations: Both Brave and X-Men: Dark Phoenix have this weird issue where the film is basically not at all about fate in any way, shape, or form---Brave is about Merida’s relationship to her family and her own sense of independence, and Dark Phoenix is about Jean’s trauma, and Professor X’s arrogance (It’s also about uh... aliens and genocide?)---but both films also have that weird “fate” tagline just artificially injecting into them via an opening and closing monologue. At no other time in the film does the concept really apply, it’s just a tagline for the opening and closing. It’s infuriatingly bland trash monologuing designed to elicit emotions as cheaply as possible and I hate it.
And in this case I want to head off some comments, because while fate might /feel/ relevant to Merida’s conversation about independence---I promise you it isn’t actually, because it doesn’t actually add anything to the conversation. We could have had a conversation in that film about independence, breaking cultural norms, and personal autonomy without reducing it down to fate.
Both films could be really quickly and easily recut to remove the monologues at the beginning and end and it would have vastly improved the watching experience---especially with Brave because that monologue pretty directly undercuts a much more important conversation being had. Dark Phoenix would be improved, but also that film has ISSUES.
If you separate “fate” away from ideas like “Is it ok to break societal norms?” and “Can I become more successful despite growing up disadvantaged?” and you boil it down to the pure ask of “Does predestination exist?” then the answer always becomes “We have no idea and there’s no way to prove it.”
It’s a big nothing theme that gets in the way of better ideas---stop fucking injecting it into every shitty fucking film.
Idk, I’m less angry suddenly, it’s worth saying that fate as a theme isn’t inherently shitty and I’m sorry for bitching about it so hard. There are ways to use fate as a good theme or plot element without making it crappy:
Vikings makes use of prophecy several times, and many of the prophecies that the old seer in Kattegat tells turn out to be true: Ragnar himself has a conversation with the see near the end of his time on the show---but more than a conversation about becoming personally successful, dodging death, or breaking societal norms, Ragnar’s big beef with fate underscores the loss of his faith in the gods themselves. Vikings is a show that tricks you into thinking it’s about a typical power struggle/betrayal fest Game of Thrones style when it’s actually a larger conversation about the totality of life and what it means to live and die---so a conversation about predestination fits as a side element to that larger complex theme.
Across The Spiderverse also hits that nail right on the head and it works pretty well for that film---but that’s all I will say since it came out pretty recently.
This post is long enough, just: I’m tired of seeing a movie that /could/ be good but all of it’s potential just feels wasted on tropey shit---and that extends to more than just the above issue.
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The forbidden game movie
THE FORBIDDEN GAME MOVIE SERIES
Of course, I’d have to end up taking Julian for myself, but you’re so nice, I know you’d understand. BUT but but but, during the second and third books, you grow a backbone! You get smart! You get sassy! You, dare I say, become quite the little blonde badass! And even though I still disagree with some of your decisions, I’m proud of you for venturing off the Bella path and turning into someone I’d be proud to call a friend. (There’s literally a page where you talk about your side missing his side, and how you always sit on his left, and I’M SORRY WAIT, does this book take place in the 1890s?!!) Plus, any girl who would choose her asshole preppy boyfriend over the GORGEOUS PRINCE OF DARKNESS obvs needs some kind of blow to the brain. Like, the feminist in me is embarrassed every time I re-read the first book, cos you’re sooo dependent on Tom. You’re basically the prototype of Bella, minus the clumsy. During the first book, I WANTED TO FACE PUNCH YOU SO HARD. And, just like the tagline says, “If he wins, she’s his forever more…”
THE FORBIDDEN GAME MOVIE SERIES
to undergo a series of challenges and face their greatest fears. The boy from the game store turns out to be Julian–Elf King, Prince of Darkness, all around evil dude–and, like you didn’t see this coming, he’s IN LOVE WITH JENNY! OF COURSE HE IS! Determined to win her at any cost, Julian forces Jenny and Co. Jenny, Tom and their friends (Audrey, Michael, Summer, Dee and Cousin Zach) begin the game and immediately find themselves trapped in a Victorian house in the middle of the Shadow World, an icy and desolate place made from the stuff of legends (and we’re talking, like, all legends). Given the title of this trilogy, you can guess that it isn’t Hungry Hippos. In preparation for Tom’s birthday party, Jenny wanders into a mysterious store, where she meets a strange and beautiful boy who sells her a board game. Jenny always plays it safe, so of COURSE the one time she gets remotely reckless, INSANE SHIZZ HAPPENS. And, like most perfect people, she’s also hella boring, having dated the same guy, Tom, since second grade (WHAT) and allowing other people with more personality to take center stage in her life. With a disposition as sweet as her honey-colored hair, Jenny Thornton is one of those perfect girls you wanted to hate in high school but never could, cos she’s SO FREAKING NICE. After being thoroughly sucked in, I cursed the same weather that I previously celebrated, because I HAD TO GET TO BOOKSTOP TO GET THE OTHER TWO BOOKS AND I’M SURE I CAN DRIVE ON ICE I MEAN I HAVE MY LEARNER’S PERMIT OK MOM?!!! This trilogy was one of the few times I read YA as an actual young adult, and even though it’s not what you would call a masterpiece of literature, I still unabashedly love it, and I’m TOTES STOKED to review it, sixteen years later. passed Driver’s Ed and an ice storm struck Houston, forcing her to stay home in front of the fire and read The Hunter in one sitting. True Facts: These books were released in 1994, the same year little Sarah P. Relationship Status: Skater Boy Crush Rekindled At the High School Reunion Bonus Factors: Bad Boy, Nightmare Greatest Hits, The 90s
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when u said you don’t even know what is strange anymore fjcbd sometimes I’ll be talking about stuff like hausu or either nekromantik and I have to remember that they are absolutely bonkers to most ppl though I find them deeply beautiful and melancholic. sometimes I’ll read the physical reactions ppl have/had to movies I like and I go :0 bc the most I do is gasp a lot
it's true. it doesn't mean i don't get surprised or even shocked because i doooo, at almost everything lol!! but it's definitely hard to gauge what is "weird" and "strange" for others when i don't know them and what they have seen/like/enjoy. my sisters think literally everything i like is fucking weird. that's why while i do love to help out as much as i can i really want to encourage people to figure out and develop their tastes on their own. and that doesn't mean doing it all alone of course, that's impossible, but like read everything you can get your hands on, spend your time reading descriptions, plot summaries, blog entries, books, essays, anything, and watch what seems interesting to you regardless of ratings or whatever. go building your watchlist and eventually you'll just know what will click for you. it's really helpful. some people do have a talent for curating lists but i struggle a lot even for stuff i do want to work on for personal reasons D: i was trying to think of what shocked me and .. so much!! i just watched don’t deliver us from evil and that was shocking, but perhaps not the way they mean on the tagline with "a film that goes where no other has dared" like no i have def seen worse, it’s not in that sense. so i’m like ok this was shocking but i also understood everything they were going for, it didn’t leave me baffled.. is that what they mean?? dflsdnfk it’s hard!!! i really don’t have the talent for this lol
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Ok, it occurs to me I haven’t heard you mention anything about I Love You, Phillip Morris. If you haven’t seen it, you must. It features Ewan McGregor as the aforementioned Phillip Morris. It’s tagline could have conceivably been ‘be gay, do crimes’ and that Jim Carrey plays the lead shouldn’t put you off because he was weirdly amazing in it. (Yeah I have no idea.) It is very dark and very funny and had a hard time finding a distributor because of the relatively explicit gay sex scenes. (It came out in 2009, I think the explicit nature of the scenes wasn’t precisely the problem. How unrepentantly joyful and enjoyable they seemed was probably more the issue tbh.)
I have seen I Love you Phillip Morris! It’s very sweet and although Jim Carrey as a gay romantic lead felt very odd with Ewan to me it is a really good movie lol It’s not one of my absolute favorites of Ewan’s which is probably why I forget to mention it,although that’s nothing against the film( it is good and I do like it),and it was certainly bold for when it was made. But southern bleached hair Ewan making moon eyes over Jim Carrey is a pure delight and it’s certainly worth watching.
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Eve
It’s Christmas eve 2020. What’s our Nivanfield couple up to?
i started meaning to write something meaningful but ended up with porn without plot. But hey, who’s to say that isn’t meaningful?
Happy Christmas dear friends and stay safe.
The writing is NSFW...
I watch him rub fatigue from his eyes as he huffed, slamming the lid of his laptop down.
He rubbed his ears where his headset has been for hours at a time. He buried his head in his hands for a moment and exhaled.
Bright eyes opened and they bore straight into mine.
“Am I putting on a show?” He asked, wearily, but I like the hint of cheek in there.
“Ain’t no movie theatre to go to my boy.” I said. “Coming soon to a channel near you- ‘Working from home’- the working life of Piers Nivans’…tagline: “Be the fly on the wall you always wanted to be!”’
“Beats watching paint dry.” He rolled his eyes. “And look at you, arms crossed leaning on the doorway like a tall drink of water. What’s on your mind?”
I squared my shoulders and flexed my forearms a little, knowing he digs it. “Playtime?”
“I sure could use a bear hug right now.” He said, walking over and collapsed on me.
“Hey, it’s OK.” I held him close and gave him a strong squeeze, the kind I know he likes as I sniffed his hair. “It’s OK.”
Piers sighed as he lay limp in my arms for a moment.
I let him sink in for a bit in the silence. Years with him have taught me that sometimes not saying anything is best.
I feel his arms around my sides again, and I slowly stroke his back.
I can see the glint of the office light reflecting through his eyes, and I leaned down.
I feel his warm lips against mine, and I kiss back, gently, then with more hunger to match his.
I guided him to the couch and we lay, him over me.
I tugged his shirt off, and my hands explored his lean back, finding the knots and spots of tension and kneaded them out.
Piers sighed contently above me. His warm bulge was pressing strong against my leg but I ignored it, knowing fully well mine was fully at attention also.
At last, my hands found his buns, giving them a gentle squeeze that sent our cocks grinding on each other.
“Fuck.” He said, laying his head on the crook of my shoulder as he gently rocked his hips against me.
I hummed, running my fingers lightly from the top of his head to the base of his neck and admired the sight. His muscled back rippling in motion as he humped. His shorts are pushed low, his erection was pulling the fabric such that his buns were clearly outlined.
“Fuck.” I said to myself. I knew I was hard as can be, and though it hurt a bit with him on it, we pushed ourselves harder together.
Because in this vacuum of distancing and disconnection, our tethers to one another are the only ones that we have.
“Fuck.” He repeated. He seems to have taken it as an order as his bulge assaulted over mine. He shifted his weight to his legs to get better angles, and boy does he show why he’s a damned good sniper when he moves like that.
My breathing intensified and I growled in frustration. I wanted it. I want him, but I want so much more. I want sex. I want to fuck, but I want to have him on me forever, to tell him without words how much I need him, and that I’m grateful for him. Saying anything would ruin the moment.
My boy have that look of concentration on his face. The kind when I task him with something difficult and he’ll take as a personal challenge. He rhythmically pulses against me, trying to find the best parts of me to please me, to cover every part of my warm boner with his body.
I cupped his pec with a hand and ran my thumb over his nipple. He shuddered and almost giggled. I shifted so we lay sideways and we spooned. At least my dick isn’t going to snap now.
Impatient hands fumbled at my fly as mine roamed his body. I slipped a finger in the gap between his buns and gave a little grope.
He groaned and I felt his teeth sinking gently on my shoulder. He’s got the button on my pants open and reached in, not caring about the metal of the zipper on his hands.
I sighed as those clever fingers found the base of my shaft and caressed it, freeing the bulge from the constraints of my pants. He pulled the length of it free and tugged my pants down.
Such a tease. I thought, as he kept them in my underwear but caressed me gently, cradling my balls and teasing my taint.
I grope his butt in return as his cock is still out of reach.
“Suck” I eventually conceded, shifting ourselves so he has access to me.
“Yes Sir.” He slurred and teased me, licking at my abs and my treasure trail, but staying well away from my cock.
I am so pent up. He’s being a tease again. I didn’t say anything, trying to channel it through my breath instead.
“I got you Captain.” He said, finally slipping his hands in my undies and pulling it up and over my cock so it jutted free.
“Dayum.” He said, seeing how much I’d already leaked.
“Just. Suck.” I commanded, as he still methodically played with my bulge.
“It’s damn huge, I still have to warm up each time.” He winked.
He gave a big whiff of my crotch and popped my ball in his mouth, running his tongue over it.
“Grrrrr.” I grunted as he controlled me and his mouth held dominion over me. I wriggled my feet and tried to hump him as he teased my taint with his fingers.
His fingers found the base of my erection and I bucked as he pressed delicately around it.
I grew harder than I thought I was and dripped again.
He finally let go of my balls and licked up the glistening drop.
I shuddered as he made contact with my dick. It felt so damned good.
I shut my eyes, feeling his warm breath, and soon enough, I was rewarded by warmth surrounds.
I vocalised my pleasure, which I know he likes. I was probably not very coherent but I didn’t care.
My dick is in the most amazing place and I surrendered to my pleasure.
He took me inch by inch and soon I felt his whiskers on my pubes. Fuck, he did it again.
I forced myself to lay still and not hump back as he worked over my cock. I’m kinda big and I know it’s not easy, but he always manages.
Part of me is guilty I’m enjoying it so much but I’m learning to let go of that, knowing he loves what he is doing. I stopped fighting it, and with the intensity of the grunts he soon knew I was on the verge.
As I edged past I let him suck me dry, knowing at the least it makes for an easier cleanup that neither of us have energy for.
I sighed contended as he drank me up. All this time I set out to ease his tension and he ended up easing mine.
But that’s kinda how partnerships work. It’s not an account that needs to be precariously balanced each time. He wanted intimacy and I wanted him to know I’m here. If a blow job happens to be the means which we channel that, heck, whos’ to judge?
And hey, I’m pretty good at reciprocating. I gave him another signature bear hug and gave his cock a couple of rough tugs.
His eyes sparkle with delight, and I proceed to tell him all the way without words, just how special he is to me.
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Sorry I’ve been AWOL. Work has been intense and I am just spent when I am home. Finally logged off last night on Christmas eve and can write something. Take care guys and have a happy Christmas wherever you are.
#Chris Redfield#Piers Nivans#Nivanfield#Pwp#fanfic#smut#there's really nothing christmassy about it sorry#Merry Christmas and have a happy new year!
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00s Barbie rewatch - Swan Lake (2003)
We got to our first God tier movie
I'm so hyped for this one
This storyteller Barbie in particular is so 🥺
Oh, to spend the days mindlessly dancing around at my family's small bakery...
I wish Marie showed up more in this movie, she always seemed so cool
Go Lila, give them hell
How doesn't Odette notice a glowing lady floating behind her?
I love how the Queen's bravest fairies and elves were almost all little girls. I remember that made me feel powerful as a kid
Ivan and Carlita might be the only Barbie movie children I genuinely like
"I'm not brave like you...😔" "Well, that's true!"
Odile's laugh is a weapon of mass destruction
Ok but why is the transformation scene so pretty?
God, I love Lila so much
The square globe, iconic
Have you guys ever actually noticed the drawings on the globe? They look so pretty, with the whales and sea monsters and all. If mattel sold replicas of this globe, I'd buy one
Yesss we're meeting Erasmus
How comes I like every single character in this movie?
I can't believe Lila was the one who said the tagline for this movie, what a legend
Cinematography at its finest
"I made them myself!" "When?!"
Odette's and Lila's friendship means everything to me
"I'm like, the most out of fashion bird princess in the forest!" I'm crying why does this movie have so many great lines?
I like that by trying to get the prince to kill Odette, Rothbart ends up causing his own defeat, since this is how the two of them meet
Wow, we really are telling our life stories to a stranger who tried to kill us a few minutes ago
Oh, to go on a date in an enchanted forest and have dinner on a mushroom table...
Odette is so brave, selfless, kind, headstrong, and just amazing
I always loved her attitude when she turns down the prince's invitation to stay and protect her friends
You know Lila would say "his royal hotness" instead of "his royal cuteness" if this wasn't a children's movie
"Are we talking meet the parents rare?" I'm dead
I love Lila so much, it's not even funny
Barbie's definition of true love is just ❤
Also, that description fits Liana and Alexa perfectly, but we'll get there when we get there
Why is Odette the only character who doesn't have leftover animal features in her human form?
"Do you know what I see? Kindness, Laughter, Bravery. All worth more than any treasure a king could possess"
The Queen didn't have to come for my heartstrings like this, I really think I'm gonna cry
Odette's dress is my favorite Barbie dress, it's perfection
Does that blonde girl have a little crush on Odette? Like, first she gave her flowers, now she calls her beautiful...
THE DANCES ❤
GO OFF IVAN
That drummer girl is feeling it
YESS SHOW HIM CARLITA
ODETTE AND THE QUEEN YESS THIS IS THE BEST ONE
This movie has the best dance sequences of any Barbie movie
And I like how there are a lot of them spread out through the entire movie, instead of just having a few at the end like The Nutcracker
Don't hurt Erasmus!
That scene with Daniel and his mom in the ballroom is so great and I don't even know why
Odile might be evil but the girl can dance
All that dance practice just for Odette to spend the party unconscious...
Wow, Odile really saved Rothbart's life there
No, Lila, don't be sad
Honestly, how hard would it be for Rothbart to just turn Odile back on the spot? No reason to leave her as a pig
The way they fall on top of each other is so pretty
Not a big fan of Odette's final look, though. The dress is still perfect, but the wings and the hair just make it a little too much
Odette and Lila again ❤🥺
Final thoughts:
Masterpiece. Enough said.
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pls talk about your thoughts about chanhee and also the other concepts!! I always have such a hard time interpreting music and videos but i love to read about it
“bestie pls share ur thoughts on make your own concepts specifically chanhee’s but any others that are ur fave too 🎤- mar”
omg mar thank you for enabling me all day today 😭🥺🧡 thenks bestie ily :,)) and thank you too anon ! i should preface that T-T i have not read any other theories or analyses so these are just my opinions / impressions but i hope it’s entertaining to read about haha :p ! (feel free @ anyone to add on or share your thoughts too ! :,))
HYUNJAE - okay so audio cues... if you listen to the beginning there’s a sound of a bomb going off before the music starts ? and that ties into the dystopian / cyborg aesthetics that jump out at me of course, but what i immediately thought of was their no air perfo ? like we know hyunjae in the no air mv got that shot where he’s laying in the bathtub filled with water but also their kingdom performance with it also had those underwater shots ! so i think it ties into that... i feel like we saw in gen z, he’s a very straightforward person he says things on his mind which can come off as blunt but he thinks it’s better than not saying it ? which is interesting bc i think that speaks to his self- determined personality, he’s much more inclined to do whatever it takes to get something done, which i think falls perfectly in line with the “make your own air” phrase that he gets, if it’s something he needs he makes it himself, in a situational sense methinks u.u
JUYEON - JUYEON’S DJSKHDG i’m waiting for dri’s essay but in essence we see the gen z “juyeon is not such a good boy” shot and these text bubbles that pop up that say “sexy” “you so hot” “such a bad boy” and tbh i like this ‘concept’ ? for him better than his gen z one ? it’s not bc of the concept itself but i like the idea that he can “make your own character” as in he has the capability and power to be whoever he wants to ! you see him throwing white paint at the gen z canvas and i think ?! that’s symbolic of like a fresh canvas ! of remaking himself to whatever he wants bc the canvas is now blank again thanks to the white paint and flowers usually indicate spring ? so renewal and stuff like that ! i really like his, it’s also fun word play on “character” which has been juyeon’s intro in tbz (bc his name sounds like main character in korean) but yea :o ! i really love his the idea he can just repaint / paint over a literal image of him gives it the possibility of becoming smth new and that’s so so cool
CHANGMIN - SCREEEEECH okie um oh boy um *windows shutting down noises* this was so so so very different from his gen z stuff but i actually think BOTH are equally perfect for him ? the way that he set up the sparklers and neon lights on this very obviously trashy and kind of rundown rooftop with the cityline behind him is so ?!?!? LITERALLY making his own stage as his tagline goes, sort of like how the physical stage itself does not matter but rather it’s changmin himself that makes the stage special ! i talked about this in gabi’s set that i rbed ;-;/ but changmin puts a lot A LOT of stake in his position as a dancer it means almost everything to him as a form of expression from what i can see ? so he’s always trying his best to put forward the best performance possible and seeing this segment makes me feel like he’s doing just that ! pouring himself into it to make his stage pls i care him
HAKNYEON - god i’m a jusadan but just u.u rest in peace me, i’ll ... T_T be kind of honest this one confuses me a little ? i have assumptions and i feel like i know ... quite a bit about haknyeon (LMAO) my best guess is it has smth to do with self assurance ...? the way he’s framed and the fact that he’s sitting on a bed in the middle of a church surrounded by candles gives me christ figure symbolism (where my ap english takers at :/) and the light that perfectly frames him in a halo gives me angel vibes too, but the tagline of “make your own romance” paired with him kissing his reflection makes me think it’s about self love ;;;; from what i can tell haknyeon has always been someone who really likes feeling validated and praised for the stuff he does well, which he does for himself a lot of the times too ! but sometimes i think the self assurances he compliments himself with is more for reassuring himself rather than bragging (which i think people misinterpret) so it’s more about becoming the person he wants to fully love and being happie with himself which *tears* i might be reading too much into who knows i just love him ok ... U.U
KEBINNN - i know !!! dri mentioned this in my gifset tags but ! kev on kpop daebak (? was it) or smth mentioned how he strives to keep a childlike wonderment for the world around him, which is a reason why i think he loves drawing and sound / music production, he talked in a fancafe post once about an artist who turned mediocre everyday objects into art and he said he really loves that sense of wonderment so peter pan who “never grows up” is actually perfect for his worldview ahhhh T^T also kev really likes disney lmao, the way he’s doing this outside in this “neverland” garden on a balcony which is a part of this very typical apartment backed by a typical city bg also i believe ties into this turning a mediocre everyday thing into smth wonderful through his sense of childlike wonderment and his tagline of “make your own fantasy” (i also care him a lot this concept >>>>>>) and keeps to his referencing movie plotlines like he did in gen z jddkfj
SUNWOO - i also mentioned this in my tags on sunu’s set but this gives me 100 degrees vibes which i still to this day think is one of the most “sunwoo” vibe things ever, it’s a lot of him having fun and doing his own thing, and mixes both more mature and youthful aspects together in a way that i’d only ever describe as sunwoo vibes LMAO like the roller skating around and all the soap bubbles ! cute and youthful ! the crop top and celine wasitband (don’t laugh at me we all noticed) more mature and a callback to his gen z look methinks U.u, think sunwoo has always been a more go-with-the-flow or do whatever he feels like doing sort of person and so “make your own vibe” fits well with him in that sense to me
SANGYEON - .... *silence* *more windows shutting down noises* *jess.exe has stopped working* OKAY i feel like ! sangyeon’s is also more self explanatory :p i love the juxtaposition of boxing AND the arcade type fighter games ?? like both require very different sets of skills i feel like one is more physical the other is more mental ? but both require adapting to changes whether in the game or the boxing ring which as leader sangyeon would know a lot about, esp being flexible and quick to respond to different situations, and the “make your own glory” i feel is maybe more on the nose, but tbz are this man’s pride and joy you can see it literally anywhere and for him, as leader, to have made it this far with tbz, winning rtk and building their popularity through their hard work and efforts really is building his own glory and i just HHHHHHHHHH
YES EYYSFDHSHF CHANHEE YES - i said it in the tags of my srb before deleting it so i’ll just repeat it here but CHOI CHANHEE !!!!! this detail i didn’t quite process first watch was the continuous flashing of lights in all his scenes, like ... from the shots and the set it looks REALLY empty ?? but the flashing seems to indicate cameras and photos being taken of him despite there being no people we can really see in any of the shots ? WHICH IS SO COOL i think the implication is like “all eyes on him” type which SO TRU i love that idea, like i said the walking past the wedding dresses ? v heavily implies fashion designer which i think you mentioned mar :o ! and i see it in the sense of his tagline “make your own stereotype” bc white wedding dresses are the very traditional / typical choice and obviously feminine in stereotypes, whereas chanhee is wearing a SUIT which is all black in a very clean b/w set with no color which i feel is very stereotypically MASCULINE and the glasses too, it’s such an interesting contrast of his “stereotypically feminine” features (in my view) with very masculine symbols, like glasses we usually associate with more soft hearted / meek stereotypes ? but the geometric shape of the windows and again his suit seems to indicate the very opposite ? it’s a mixing of stereotypes which i think is the point, by putting those together he quite literally makes his own stereotype and puts on the crown while the cameras continue flashing while pointed at him AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YOUNGHOON - okie might have less to say about this one :o i feel like both hak’s and younghoon’s i don’t see the connections quite as readily but ! i think it’s interesting that his tagline is “make your own classic” but then in the scenes itself he has a flip phone ??? with an antenna (okay boomer /j JDHFKFG JK PLS) and a teddy bear while in PERIOD stylized clothing and setting where those two things are more modern / contemporary in origin (but also not modern enough bc ,,, it’s a flip phone LOL) like 90s kid vibes ? you know but as an emperor in the joseon era haha :p while eating shrimp chips and reading a (comic ?) book, like idk too much of what it means but it’s a cool dichotomy LOL, think it might also tie into actor ! hoon bc it’s make your own classic and i think acting has become a very important aspect to him :o after seeing what he’s capable of in love revolution and his atbz video so it’s interesting u.u (need help w/ this one)
JACOB - think my explanation in han’s set’s tags didn’t really make sense so lemme ... reexplain LOL,,, so ! similar to his gen z video ? like he’s talked about how difficult it is to open up about his own feelings etc. and he said it’s less bc he realizes he needs to but rather just to make other people feel more comfortable when it comes to understanding him, and like the whole breaking the mirror with his reflection in the wanna be angry jacob, it’s about freeing himself to the point he can express the emotions he wants to ! in gen z it was about being able to be angry when he felt that way instead of being tied by his image of being just nice ? and in the video with his pilot uniform not only does he control the ride but he also rides on it himself ! quite literally making his own freedom (symbolically), a sort of realizing he can free himself ? from what’s been tying him down and i think the really big smile he has while riding it just comes to show how he wants to feel :,))) (jacob bae i care you)
ERIC - last one :p AHHH this is one of my favs too, the quite literal “make your own pride” I LOVE IT ! sooo i think the biggest takeaway i got was that of course in this video his “pride” is symbolized by the hot pink car (that he’s going to pick up his christmassy date in of course u.u if he has a license which he does n- his driver’s license in this was literally his aaa / boy version of reveal photo which in no dmv anywhere would a license picture be allowed to look that good-) and LITERALLY when he finished and takes it for a joy ride while sitting on the roof he’s STILL covered in the dirt and grime stains ! from working on it ! which i think is so symbolic ! it’s my favorite detail actually, he literally put sweat into this car which is his pride and now that he’s finally riding around in it, it feels accomplishing ! his pride ! love that, also when he’s grabbing a stub from that flyer i noticed he chose “youth” over the others (which was like .... ca$h, beauty, ice cream, hamburger...) which i think also just indicates that despite all this hard work he put in he still cherishes his youth and still lets that be a huge part of who he is (i mean pink car so of course) so idk i think it’s very neat go bestie mwah
#sunnew#anon#asks#not tbz#jess.replies#be your own king analysis#I WROTE SO MUCH PLS#even more than my gen z analysis i think#anyway if anyone reads all of this oof thank you#HHHEEELP#i just did all of them ....#my weakest ones are def hak sunwoo yh#idk but i like what i came up with for the others ! ^^#i've seen a few twt threads but haven't read any lol#wrote the most about chanhee but no one is surprised of course
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Celebrity Mixtape Party #1 with Steve Michener (Volcano Suns, Dumptruck, Big Dipper) Part 1
Steve (far left with Big Dipper)
Mixtapes. They're back! Or maybe they never went away? What happens when you make a mixtape for someone who MAKES music? And then they talk about that mixtape? Well, dear reader, let's find out in..
Okay! First song. Side A. So I'll give my impressions and then we can talk about the song. Okay? Then the reveal, when appropriate.
Sexy
Thanks for this tape, Matthew, I've really been enjoying it. However, I gotta say the first song is my least favorite.
What is it pray tell
I don't know but I usually love that style of song. Very Love/Byrds-y but there was something cloying about that hook of 'Let's Get Together'
Oh yes. Justin Trouble.
Can't tell if it's authentic 60's pop or revival
Early '80s. He was friends with Johnny Thunders.New York City area guy
Never heard of him but I'm not inspired to search him up. Too many words.
Aw man he's just riffing
Anything you wanna say in his defense?
I mean I could. I think that song and the whole record is genius. To me it's the very essence of rock and roll.
Okay, maybe that's just one song that I wouldn't like. I'll check it out. I know you love your 60s stuff but to me it's just too twee. But if you were using this as a "courtship tape", the relationship is over.
Since we can't "get together" on that song?
Courtship tape. I think they were called love mixes back in the day my friend.
I'm older than you. We used to bring them and play them in the parlor. So this second song is right up my Alley. Great guitar sound, great drummer. I love that it's poppy but it takes a minor key/dissonant turn when he sings the tagline 'Solid Gold'. Kind of a Fall vibe to that hook.
So what is that second song?
Boston band....Real Kids...1974 demo...EARLY REAL KIDS
I knew you'd get a Real Kids song on there but that is very 'Unreal' real kids. Sounds like they were way ahead of their time
Yeah. That song is unhinged. Nothing twee about it.
Amazing band. I would have maybe guessed that but that chorus is so left field. If I knew about that song back then, I would have had the band cover it. Real Kids sounding like the Fall. They should have been as big as the Ramones. Worse drug and ego problems I guess.
To me it sounds like The Dolls. A little bit of Glam in there.
I saw them a few times at the Rat. Always a reliable live band. I hear the 60's thing in there but that turnaround into the chorus is at least 5 years ahead of its time. I need to hear more of those demos.
It's on vinyl.
Next song- One thing that I know about you is that you love your 60s stuff. This sounds like an authentic acid rock band. Roky?
I don't have the tracklist
Ah, okay. It's by Girl Trouble-"Storm Warning'. Don't know them but I love the song.
The pride of Bellingham
Kind of like the Seeds meet Nick Cave. What year?
1993 on Empty
Love the sax and guitar interplay at the end. Wow. I would have placed that in 1965
Yeah except for the production. I think he's one of the Great rock and roll vocalists of the '90s
Yeah, great singer. Are they still around or mutate into something else?
Kurt Kendall. No, I don't think they really play around much anymore. There was a reunion show not too long ago but I missed it.
Great stuff, I'll check it out. Next song? Okay, this one I knew from the first note--the great NRBQ. The greatest rock and roll band ever, at least in this incarnation.
Green Lights?
Yes.
I saw them around this time with the WW Horns, opening for Thorogood.
Another great vocalist
I didn't appreciate them back then cuz I was too into the alternative scene (tho still loved GT) but when I saw them in the 80's I was amazed.
This is a band that should have played the bar band in every '80s movie ever made
Exactly. they were my template for 'a band'
That's Joey singing that one? favorite bass player ever, favorite drummer ever.
I'm not entirely sure what that guitar is in the solo. Sounds almost like a pedal steel or something.
Big Al could make anything sound like anything. Genius band. Shoulda been huge.
The YouTube comments say Joey.
Yeah, Joey wrote the hits. Like most bass players.
Lol. The album is called nrbq at Yankee stadium and it's funny because the picture shows an empty Yankee stadium with them far away in the bleachers...a play on words...clever
I see.
I'll explain humor to you another time.
Make me a 'humor' mixtape
Okay next song
The 5th song on side A is called Buried Alive. A 3 chord slab of brilliance. Sounds like another Boston Band. More Real Kids?
Hmmm
Should I peek?
It could be Avenged Sevenfold. Yes peek.
Oh no, it's the Nervous Eaters! Born to Die. I thought he was singing Buried Alive.
Ahhh!!
I knew it was Boston, can't believe I missed the Eaters. Loved that band.
Another Boston band you didn't ID! You are 0 for 2
I wrote down it was "the Lyres without keyboards" so I get half credit.
Okay so one of the cool things about this band is it had one of the Paley Brothers. Who never did anything this "heavy" outside of this band?
I had their singles and saw them live a few times. They were great. Just Head is a classic.
The major label debut was a bit of a disaster: slick production, terrible cover art. I swore that I'd never let that happen to any band that I was in.
This song for some reason reminds me of Judas Priest.
I thought Saints at first but Priest would work
Next song?
Ok
This is one that I will probably miss too. Sounds VERY familiar and my first guess is Rockpile/Brinsley Schwarz. "I'll have another drink and then I tried to crawl out the door.."
"I never did know a thing about it." It's got that Nick Lowe/Dave Edmunds vibe.
Take a peek
Status Quo-Lies
Ah yes
Wow, I don't think of SQ sounding like this. This is pub rock, I thought they were harder
Very boogie
Don't you get the Rockpile thing tho?
Oh absolutely
Great song. I'd cover this. Was it a hit?
That status quo song is from 1980. I think so. They did it on Top of the Pops
Good. I'd be depressed if a song that great didn't get an audience.
Agreed
Next?
Yes
I also don't know this and I'm not sure what the hook is but it sounds like what I imagine the Muffs sound like. Be my baby.? Sneering female vocals, 3 chords, loud guitars.
Fastbacks - Read my Letters
Yeah, another band I completely missed out on. From the PNW?
Seattle
I've seen them quite a few times and they were always amazing. Big fan.
I'm sorry I missed them live. I don't care much for this song but I'll bet it sounded good in a sweaty club.
Ok
Did you like the Muffs?
Not really. I mean I respect them a lot but they never resonated with me. I think Kurt Bloch is a great lyricist. And I love that he didn't sing his own lyrics.
Wait, that was a guy singing?
No. The guitar player Kurt wrote the lyrics for most of their songs.
Got it. So he left them to join YFF?
He did both simultaneously. Kim Warnick is the singer and bass player.
Too talented.
Definitely.
I saw the Fellows quite a few times also.
They opened for us in Seattle in 1990. I loved them but, as an east coaster, had never seen them.
Also amazing one of my favorites. During that time that both the Fastbacks and the Young Fresh Fellows were active it made me envy Seattle because Portland didn't have bands like those bands.
This is a different convo, but Seattle is a much more rockin town than Portland.
Full disclosure in the '90s I was not a fan of Portland's music scene. But I did like Hazel.
They were so cute!
Alright, let's not get distracted! Next song I recognized easily , though I may not have a few years ago. This is Sparks - Something For The Girl Who Has Everything. Brilliant band but one that I missed out on until recently
You know I never introduced you at the beginning of all this. Dear readers, I am discussing a mixtape with our esteemed guest Steve Michener from Skid Row.
Skid Row UK, legally. Not to be confused with those dorks from Hollyweird. Michael Cudahy was my roommate back in the day and he was way into them. I could never get past the vocals.Recently though, I have come to appreciate them and now I am a big fan.
I love the vocals. It's its own thing. Who is this Michael you speak of?
Michael was in Christmas at the time and then started Combustible Edison. Now he does movie soundtracks.
Have you ever seen the video of Ron Mael singing karaoke to a Sparks song?
No, I'll google it.
Next song?
Ok
Well, I didn't recognize the song itself but it's hard to miss the unique guitar sound of The Wedding Present-The Boy Can Wait
Fastest wrist in the west
Trademark double strum. They're one of those bands that I just love the sound of but never bought any records.
That's a Peel session by the way.
They were around last year but I failed to attend.
I like the lyrics. They're clever. Kind of misanthropic but not in a Morrissey way. More humorous.
I'm not a lyric guy but I do love a good Morrisey couplet
The dude could pen a tune
Stephen I mean
Moz
The Moz
Himself.
He should pull a Prince and just change his name to Himself
Next song is one that you would never get past me, tho I'm 0-2 with Boston bands before this. Heading into a Boston binge here.
Ok. Just another band out of Boston
I was the world's biggest Peter Dayton fan for years. I moved to Boston the week that LaPeste broke up so I never got to see them. So I made up for that by seeing every PD gig for years. 'She's a Girl' by LaPeste, probably one of the best bands out of Boston ever.
I like how evil La Peste sound. They sound like they carried shivs.
It means "the pest"
Perfect
"la" is "the" in french
Waow
I don't know if you knew that. Anyway, this must have been an Ocasek demo? Sounds like they were trying to go pop. I had a live tape of them from the rock and roll rumble in 1979 that I wore out. Just a great pop punk band. Next song is also LaPeste- Die in My Sleep.Ric got involved with them later in their career and produced some demos. Or maybe it was Greg Hawkes. But Ocasek worked with him solo for a few years. Dayton's EP, which came out the same time as Panorama by the Cars. It's a fun record.Better off Dead is an amazing single.
I'll check out solo Dayton.
Jim Janota on bass. I think he was in some of those early boston punk bands
But Ric was the producer guy then . Alan Vega etc
Yeah, Ocasek was cool. He had Dayton's band open for The Cars at the Boston Garden. Big supporter of smaller bands.
Next two songs had me stumped. I just wrote 'Sex Pistols'.
I would never put a sex pistols song on anything ever. But I do love a lot of things that Cook and Jones were on later
This just has a Pistols energy and sneer. Hey Hey! Hey Hey!
Hmm
3 chords, English. Fall-like but harder.
Not ringing any bells
Ha! I looked at the list--Naked Raygun-Roller Queen.
Yes
"trying" to be british
Nooo
I tuned this band out early. Not my cup of tea.
I love the Raygun. Midwest thing
Just like Soul Asylum. I was (and remain) a judgemental asshole when it comes to music.
Hard. Arty. Humorous.
I lump them together. Prejudice. But this is why I like the idea of listening to the tape blind.
Throb Throb is fantastic
It can blow up my preconceived notions or reinforce them. I know they were hugely popular in the scene and it's probably my loss that I didn't explore their stuff. I was probably reacting negatively to the Big Black thing. Lots of competition and jealousy-fuelled listening bias.
Eh no biggy. I never really liked Big Black. To me they were great in theory but not in practice.
I prefer Shellac
Great band
But i think BD covered 'Bazooka Joe'. Not my idea.
There was another Chicago band from that time that I like a lot called Breaking Circus.
Yes, I liked Breaking Circus. We played with them.
Yay
Next song. 60s sounding psychedelia
Ok
Didn't recognize it, but liked it. reverby guitar,
Hmm
La Luz- I Want to Be Alone. Cool sound. What's their story?
Ah. Seattle. Then moved to LA. 4 women. On Hardly Art (label). Started in 2012. They have three lps. Saw them at The Aladdin.
Short but sweet. I'll check them out.
Very very good band
I like good bands
No bad songs. They were VERY GOOD live. Jealous of the drummer's speed and dexterity. They play with a lot of feeling.
If we ever get to see live music again, I'll check them out.
You need to.
Next song is a classic Boston number called 'No Place Like Home' by The Neighborhoods. Such a great power pop song. B-side to Prettiest Girl, which was probably the biggest indie single of the time in Boston. That and Academy Fight Song. Both on Ace of Hearts records
Oh really? Nice that I got airplay in Boston. I mean it. I didn't get any airplay in Boston
Yes, it was huge! (sorry about your lack of airplay) top song on WBCN, the local rock station. They should have been huge-they had it all. Cute guys, great songs, amazing live show. I woulda bet on them
Despite looking like a reggae album I've read good reviews with their first LP. The thing with a lot of these bands is they're from a time when there were regional scenes period and if they didn't make the jump to Major label then a lot of what they were about might have been lost on people outside of their scene
Honestly, I don't remember that LP at all. Maybe I had dropped them and moved onto hipper stuff. They were kind of a high school crush for me. They got progressively more hard rock as time went on. Yes, probably a common theme with local bands. Some focused on getting a 'deal' and making it big. Thank god for labels like Homestead, who gave smaller bands a chance to make mistakes and grow
If you had any anecdotes about any of these guys share away.
Anecdotes? I do
'dote away
Dave and Lee worked at Harrington's Liquor, the biggest booze shop in Allston and were always in there when I went to buy cheap vodka. Then, one day, they were fired. Word was that they tried to lift some expensive champagne from the shop to celebrate a record release party or something. They were both dating members of Salem 66 at the time and Dave married Judy. They were very nice guys.
Lee?
Lee Harrington, Beth's brother was their bassist in the late 80's. Beth Harrington was in Jonathan's band.
That's a good anecdote.
Jonathan?
Richman
Oh I thought I recognized her voice from Jonathan Richmond records. She was a backup singer. She had kind of a classically trained sounding voice
Yes, her and Ellie Marshall. Beth married my old roommate, whose girlfriend when I knew him, left him for Steve Forbert.
Ellie Marshall was related to who?
Something related to Paley Bros. It'll come to me. Barry Marshall.
The next song is the Office Supply song. Swivel Chair. I don't recognize the song but it's gotta be something like Fountains of Wayne or Weezer.
Nothing Painted Blue
Oops. Hope they aren't insulted! I kinda knew of NPB but obviously didn't get into their stuff. Sounds like a certain pop band from Boston in the late 80s. Where were they from?
Franklin Bruno. Great songwriter in my opinion. Great band. LA
Oh, I know Franklin. Of course. I confuse them with that band from Boise
Franklin bears a slight passing resemblance to Bill? Cool that you know Franklin.
Well, on FB at least. Very nice guy. He's probably gonna unfriend me if he reads this.
I can edit it out. Celebrity mixtapes is about bringing people together, not about fighting.
No, it's fine. It's part of the process. I'll take my lumps.
Ok
I just thought it was a little bit of a novelty song.
I just think it's adorably nebbishy
Not that we didn't veer close to that sometimes. It's a risk when you are trying to write songs that have humor in them.
Singing about office supplies. One of my favorite things about Big Dipper is you guys never crossed over into parody even though you were slyly funny.
Yeah, it def sounds like something I would write. I was an office supply nerd.
Maybe I sensed that. Dilbert Rock
Thanks. It's a fine line between clever and stupid, as the Tap says. Anyway, super catchy but maybe a little too clever for me.
NEXT!
Next song has to be Scrawl. Apple of his Eye.
Nope
Very Gang of Four with female vocals.
I did like Scrawl back in the day though. Bratmobile-Queenie.
Ah, well they should write a check to Sue and Marcy. Sounds like early Scrawl. Catchy song but a little derivative to my ears.
Yeah Scrawl predates the Bratmobile.By a few years.
You could steal from worse.
True
Scrawl were an amazing band.
Pride of Columbus
Really had the goods live and on record.
Never saw them live unfortunately.I always thought they were on Homestead but it turns out no.
You had your Homestead goggles on.
"I like everything that comes out on Homestead..."
Well that was me back then too
Last song on side A. Permanent Wave. No idea who it is, a short, catchy, new wave song. Mo-dettes?
I do like the Mo-Dettes but no.
Oh Ok. From Athens
Ah! i had their single, was this on it?
Michael Stipe's sister
Sister of Stipe
Matthew Sweet was in the band for a minute too, later on.
I bought it, I think, cuz I thought I could resell it when rem got famous. Retirement investment
I think the single and the lp are both amazing
Kind of twee, to revisit a theme
The lp is not as twee
That song sounds a little thin
I like the production. it sounds live.
I see that. Okay, I've gotta run. This was fun.
Ok. Thanks for doing it.
https://www.mixcloud.com/matthewkenneth9/steve-michener-mix-pt-1/?fbclid=IwAR2hhMS8KXo51QjlpJ__ANfdmKY3Ux7vRyIqHHOxGfY_UK4H6tz6vIXyaxE
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A World Without You |P.P| 1/2
pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader
summary: after Peter gets stuck in an alternate universe, and makes some new friends he finds himself having to save the world yet again, all while trying to get back to you.
AN: Peter is around 23 in this, and still in uni bc boy can't do more than 2 courses per semester and fight crime ok. I was watching into the spiderverse a while back and wrote this, I was going to make it one big part but decided to split it in two parts instead. I basically thought, what if Tom’s Peter Parker was one of the spideys that travelled to Miles’ dimension? I changed it a bit, but its also a lot like the movie except for a couple of things, there’s also gonna be a time skip from this part to the next one bc we’ve all seen into the spider verse so I’ll highlight most of my favourite parts.
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part 1
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Peter was used to weird things happening. Well, he should be at least, given all the weird things that are constantly happening to him. This time though, the word weird didn’t even come close to explaining what happened.
It was a cloudy Tuesday afternoon in Manhattan and he had just finished webbing up some bank robbers he cornered in an alley. They were stuck on the wall along with his signature note for the police department, that after his call were already on their way. He leans against the wall, checking his notifications and smiling when he spots your text.
Might escape work early today, how does pasta for dinner sound? - YN
Peter starts typing a response, It’s a date!, but before he can even hit send he feels himself being pulled backward into the wall.
What the hell?
The force with which he is pulled grows and it’s not just him being pulled back anymore, the trash and part of the fire escape in front of him are moving towards him as well. He shoots a web at the concrete wall directly in front of him, trying to move away and glance back at whatever is behind him. A black portal, there’s colors and shapes he can’t really make out but one thing he knows is that the portal is getting bigger. Almost half of his body is inside it now, the other half trying really hard to pull himself back out by shooting more webs anywhere he can. But his efforts are not enough, a few seconds later all of them snap and he is swallowed whole by the wall behind him and moving incredibly fast through what seems to be galaxies grouped together with spiderwebs.
Peter feels like he’s being shot out of a cannon, his eyes shut tight by the sheer force in which he’s moving forward. His arms are pressed tightly to his sides, his legs straight behind him until he’s falling from the sky at an incredible speed. That’s when his reflexes kick in and he opens his eyes just in time to shoot a web at a billboard to soften his fall. He stabilizes himself and looks around at the times square screens surrounding him, only that these are completely different than the ones he sees every day. More importantly, it’s already nightfall, which confuses him even more as he was pretty sure it was around noon just a couple of seconds ago. Scanning the screens for some kind of explanation, Peter turns around and all of the air in his lungs disappears in an instant. There you were, beautiful as always on the screen above him, the problem was that the breaking news tagline under the picture says you’re dead. Spider-Woman, Y/N L/N dead at age 25.
Wait, 25? That’s not right, you’re 23 not 25. Most importantly, you’re not dead. No, you can’t be! Spider Woman?! What is happening!
His mind is trying to process everything that’s happening. Is there actually a chance that he’s in another dimension, and that the portal was the one that got him there? If so, why only him and who is messing with the multiverse? Peter pushes all of this to the back of his mind, his heart is beating wildly in his chest and there is one answer he really needs right now. He shoots a web at a building and makes his way to Manhattan’s graveyard, New York city’s streets a blur as he swings by them. Until an intense pain rushes through his body and he misses the building he was aiming at and he falls face first in the snow. The snowbank is just outside of the graveyard and he ignores the pain he felt as he runs towards the Spiderman balloons hovering above a tombstone.
Y/N L/N, (1995 - 2020)
“No.” Peter falls to his knees, a hand hovering over your name. He takes off his mask and covers his face with his hands. He can’t explain the sobs that are leaving his lips, or why his heart feels completely shattered by this news. “No, this isn’t real. Wake up!”
He slaps himself to try and leave this nightmare, but it doesn’t work. He really is stuck in another dimension where one of the most important people in his life died. He knows this isn’t his Y/N, it’s another version of her but his brain is taking some time to catch up. Peter lets himself cry, he cries for what feels like hours and he’s run out of tears. Not only that but his spider sense makes him look up and be alert of his surroundings once again. Wiping his eyes and putting his mask back on, Peter follows the feeling. He leaves the graveyard and walks down towards Brooklyn until he’s in front of a diner. There’s a teenager there, he has dark curly hair and is wearing a too-small Spiderman. He’s also sitting next to an older man, who just ate a burger in two bites. The man is also wearing a Spiderman suit, but he’s paired it with an olive trench coat and sweatpants. Huh? Peter goes in and his spider sense tingles again, making both Spidermen look up.
“You’re like me,” They say in unison.
The older man stands up and places a hand on his shoulder. “Hey man, are you okay?”
“Why am I here?” Peter asks instead of answering.
“Come and sit down, it’s been a weird day for all of us.” He guides him to the table and pushes a plate of fries towards him. “This is Miles,” He motions towards the dark haired teenager who extends his hands.
“Hey, I’m Miles. Sort of the Spiderman of this dimension.” Peter takes his hands and shakes it once before he lets go.
“I’m Peter Parker.” He says and the older man chuckles. “What?”
“I’m Peter B. Parker, the Spiderman of another dimension.” Is all he says extending his hand towards Peter who shakes it briefly. “Like I said, weird day.”
Peter takes his mask off and looks at Miles. “You’re the Spiderman of this dimension? What about Y/N? What happened to Y/N?” His voice cracks on the last question but he doesn’t care.
“Oh man, this is probably so confusing for you. I’m assuming you’re married to Y/N in your dimension as well?” Miles asks.
“Not married, she’s my girlfriend.” Peter shakes his head. “We’re married in this dimension?”
Miles nods, “Yeah, you spoke at her funeral and all. Kingpin killed her last night because she was trying to destroy his collider, I- I was there and she gave me the override key. I promised her I’ll destroy the collider for her, I need to keep that promise.”
Peter closes his eyes and nods, after taking a deep breath he opens them and addresses both Spidermen in front of him. “I’ll help you, for this Y/N and to get back to my Y/N.”
The older Peter smiles and nods, “We’re going to Alchemax, to steal the code we need to fix the override key.”
“Fix it?” Peter asks confused, rubbing his tired eyes from crying. If he feels tired and broken, he wonders how tired Y/N’s husband feels.
“Yeah, it broke.” Miles grimaces but Peter shrugs.
“It’s okay, we’ll make a new on–” Peter stops talking as he glitches again, the same happening to Peter B in front of him. “Man, that hurt.”
“We need to go. You guys need to get back to your dimensions.” Miles says standing up. “We can swing to Alchemax, you guys can show me the ropes.”
Peter B laughs, “Swing there? You have a lot to learn kid. Come on other Peter, let’s get us home.”
Peter stands up, putting his mask back on and following the other two spidermen, it’s still a lot to process but if it gets him back to you he’ll just go along with whatever Peter B’s plan is.
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idk if its good or if anyone wants to be tagged but hey I liked the concept
@hollandharrison @madmadmilk @angelhaz11 @parkerpuff @peterplanet @keepingupwiththeparkers 💖
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Only For A Moment Ch. 28
Master List: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin
Pairing: Bucky X Reader
Summary: For most of your life you’d been able to keep your abilities a secret, that is until Hydra got wind of you. After years of being in their clutches, you break out when The Avengers expose SHIELD/Hydra. Since then, you’ve been on the run. Things are going as well as you could hope when you see a familiar face… Could the Winter Soldier really be in Bucharest too?
Warnings: PTSD, uh... feels. I’m not really sure what exactly to put but... yeah.
A/N: So, yeah... this is a thing. I hope you like this thing (like, may be a weird term but you get it). What comes after will be up likely next Friday. Save for Truth nothing that’s going up this week is going to give anyone good holiday feels. Sorry ‘bout it.
I don’t want to say anything else just read and know that a tagline for this series could be, “Trauma is a bitch.”
Love y’all...
Tags are open!
@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby @woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky @saundrasays @breezy1415 @creepshowzombae @alyssaj23 @mywinterwolf@fairislesheets @anamcg317 @buckaroo-barness @jazztherebel @peachthatdrinkslemonade @regulusirius @auskitty @babyimp1967 @katecolleen @handplucked @disagreetoagree @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito
Alarms begin to scream in your head. Go? Go where? Does he need to go because of you… “If you want me to go instead I can-“
“No!” He turns quickly looking at you scared. “Unless… unless you want to go… then…” He throws his cap onto the bed running his fingers, still gloved, through his hair.
You can’t help the anxious little laugh that escapes you, “Yeah, I just bought a bunch of groceries for the fun of it. No intention to stay in the place with the working kitchen to cook it in.”
He lets out a little, heh, sound that’s not quite a laugh but better than nothing. “Good… I,” he looks up at you, eyes so shot through with worry it kills you, “really like you… being here, Y/N.” You walk out of the kitchen toward him tentatively. He holds a hand up stopping your approach, “I just need to go for a run.”
You smile nodding, completely understanding the need to work out the energy in him. “Ok, just…” you can’t bring yourself to finish it.
“I’ll be safe… and back.” He offers you a half smile before turning to the closet pulling out sweatpants and sneakers.
Without another word, you head into the kitchen and begin unloading everything. In a minute he’s out the door.
You’re worried about him, hell you’re worried about yourself. Thankfully there’s the distraction of cooking. It’s still somewhat early, the sun just now setting, but you can take your time to set up everything in the small kitchen and make the pie dough for tomorrow.
Once everything is in its place you pull out Bucky’s laptop and put on some Billie, something that always used to soothe you. You get out of the button up and bindings, so happy to be free, and pull on a plain black tee before diving into culinary bliss.
It’s almost three hours before Bucky huffs into the door, drenched in sweat. Honestly, it’s not a bad look on him. You’re still listening to Billie and sautéing some mushrooms while reading Frankenstein. The look he gives you speaks volumes, you didn’t run away, you’re still here, and he feels like he’s home.
“Hey,” you smile bright, setting the book down, the worry that had been building in you beginning to melt. He begins to walk toward you, “Hope steak sounds good.” He comes up next to you, cupping both sides of your face in his hands to turn you to him. His kiss is slow and thorough, his tongue sliding past your unresistant lips, the taste of clean sweat and… him. He pulls back still holding your face and smiles down at you.
“Steak sounds perfect.” He kisses you briefly once more, “I’ll wash up.” You can’t help but laugh and shake your head a little at the domesticity of it all.
The rest of the evening is almost enough to make you forget the emotional turmoil you both silently went through today. Your meal of steak, potatoes, sautéed mushrooms, and green beans was, to pat yourself on the back, incredible. And while neither of you talks much there’s a comfort in the silence you’re immensely thankful for.
Once dishes are done Bucky pulls you into his arms. You rest your head on his chest and you stand in the kitchen, not saying anything, just holding onto one another for a few minutes.
He breaks the silence, “How’s a movie sound?”
“Great.”
Something light seems like the best choice so Duck Soup wins. Though, after the length of the day and since he didn’t really sleep at all the night before, it’s not long before he’s breathing steadily behind you, arms holding you close, small snores slipping out here and there. His rhythm and sounds are better than any lullaby. You lay your head back and drift off too, a soft smile on your lips.
Your sleep is the dreamless sleep you’ve been, somehow, having since being here. Because of this when you’re flung, unceremoniously, from your repose you’re immediately panicked.
Body sent flying vertically over the arm of the couch, head over feet. Anyone else would have hit the wall, likely hard enough to be unconscious. However, all those years training with Hydra weren’t entirely fruitless. Your power awakens before you fully do and steadies you midair.
Immediately you’re in defense mode, ready to attack whatever and whoever has pulled you from sleep and shaken the safety of this place. You spin lightening fast to look behind you, feet back on the ground, crouching. All you see is Bucky though…
He’s standing stock straight, though his head is tilted slightly toward the floor, hair obscuring your view of his face. Fists at his side, the only sound besides both of your breathing is the metal shifting in his left arm. His breathing you note is heavy but not panicked, just hard, like he’s fighting to keep it there.
Suddenly the fog of sleep lifts fully and you see the situation for what it is. A dream, he had a dream. You understand this all too well, having to coach yourself back into the present, back into a reality that isn’t hell, even though your brain thinks it’s still in it. He isn’t moving, neither are you.
Once you have a handle over your own breathing and heart rate you rise from your crouching position, slowly. His eyes are still on the ground and you don’t know what the best course of action here is. It doesn’t matter though. You want him to know he’s not alone, that you understand because… well, you do.
“Bucky,” you whisper softly, staying where you are. He flinches at the sound of your voice but other than that he doesn’t move. You give it another minute before trying again, “Bucky? It’s ok, you’re home, you’re-“
“No,” he growls. He looks up at you and you freeze. There’s something in that look that reminds you of the night before when you had touched him without asking, that reminds you of when you first saw him all those years ago in the facility. The Soldier.
Your mouth goes dry. You aren’t sure what to say. There is no way to know if there’s a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde situation at play here. He refers to The Soldier as something separate from himself but is that true? If so you’re in a whole different situation than comforting the person you love… Love.
This isn’t the time to examine this or to mince words with yourself. Regardless of how fast this came about, you love this man and that’s the truth. The truth that scared you so much this morning it made you shut down, too afraid of it because the things you love are always taken from you.
It’s a beautiful realization but you have to acknowledge that you don’t fully know what’s happening at this moment. Or how to help him. If somehow The Soldier is separate from him you are not currently dealing with the man you love. But… something tells you that isn’t quite right.
Suddenly he turns and bolts for the front door. Thought flees you then, and you reach out an invisible hand to slam it shut as he pulls it open, the sharp sound echoing. You don’t know where he’s at right now, you can’t let him go out there and maybe do something he will regret. If that means trapping him here, so be it.
The look he shoots you is murderous but you don’t let it sink in. “You’re not going out there like this. You’re spooked.” You keep your voice even and low.
“You think you can keep me here?” His tone is so sinister it makes a chill climb up your spine.
“I know I can,” your voice is dripping with confidence and conviction. You will keep him here, keep him safe, no matter what that took.
He cocks an eyebrow and strides toward you, “Oh?” You refuse to back away from him. His left-hand lifts and a fleeting memory of the feeling of that fist shoots through you. Still, you remain planted staring up at him.
He touches the scar left there by him and says, “I don’t think our last fight necessarily worked well for you. Sure you wanna go another round?”
He’s not fully present, you can see that in the way his eyes are shifting around, seeing things that aren’t there. But there’s something that tells you this is Bucky and not some separate entity, he’s just fighting through a flashback.
Holding onto this feeling you respond, “Are you really going to try and beat me senseless, Bucky?” There’s a flicker in his face and you know you’re right, “Or are you just trying to scare me?”
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Jocks And Finance Bros: Bachelorette First Impressions
Becca, I hope you like jocks and finance bros.
If not, you’re shit out of luck.
Becca dates one athlete and they beat that one dating preference of her’s to death by casting 18 or so former athletes. Kind of like how they beat “Let’s Do The Damn Thing” tagline to death.
I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.
A letter to the men on this season of The Bachelorette:
Do you think you deserve this goddess of a woman, Becca Kufrin? You probably don’t. You probably think too highly of yourself to know this.
Maybe two of you will be good enough for her. Five of you may turn out to be decent people, but that’s me being generous. If it’s anything like JoJo’s season, we will have just one or two decent men. ABC producers, please don’t let me down. Oh wait, you already did with the super-short bios.
This season we have 25 28 men vying for Becca’s heart, or at least a blue checkmark on their Instagram page. At least one of you will get fake engaged on Paradise and six of you will move from middle-of-nowhere USA to Los Angeles and move back home within a year. I’m not sure which guys will do that yet, but it’s always fun to guess!
Anyway, good luck with your 15 minutes of fame!
Signed,
The Bachelor Diaries.
WTF: No Q&A?
ABC did not include the usual Q&A in this year’s cast bios. I’m so offended. How will I truly understand these men if I don’t know what kind of fruit they’d be or what kind of superpower they’d want?
I would boycott this season because of this, but I have literally nothing better to do on Monday nights, or any night for that matter. I’m still going to try my best to roast these men, of course. It shouldn’t be that hard.
Despite no Q&A’s, I will still form my own opinions on these guys. I, like Kanye West, am a free thinker. Go poopidy-scoop yourself, ABC.
Ok, now let’s get to know these men:
Alex, 31, Construction Manager
Alex is the male equivalent of the basic white girl. He likes country music, his dog, the beach and skiing. He probably has “Let’s go on a hike together!” on his Bumble profile and regularly wears a Patagonia dad hat.
Blake, 28, Sales Rep
We already met horse boy Blake on After The Final Rose. He either played baseball or football in college. Thanks for being so concise, ABC. However, he looks like a baseball player to me. While originally from a small town in Colorado, he definitley lives in LA now. He also believes “two people need to be independent in order to truly love each other” so I think that means he’s into open relationships and or will cheat on you.
Chase, 27, Advertising VP
Chase, unlike Blake, was definitley a college baseball player who was apparently good enough to be in the College Wold Series but evidently not good enough to go pro— at least longterm. We also met Chase on ATFR and I don’t remember much about him. He likes “adventure” and the “outdoors” so he’s quite the special snowflake.
Chris, 30, Sales Trainer
What even is a sales trainer? Chris hopes to retire by 40. In this economy? Good luck with that. He is passionate about “fitness” and “health” which is so unique and different. I feel like I really got to know him through that piece of information.
Christian, 28, Banker
Christian is a former semi-pro soccer player who moved to the US from Mexico when he was three. I feel like his picture makes him look like he has a little head, but other than that he seems alright.
Christon, 31, Former Harlem Globetrotter/ Professional Dunker
I spent a good 30 seconds wondering why two guys with the same name didn’t have their last name initials included in their bios. It took another 30 seconds to notice that Christon was spelled differently than Christian. So this dude is a professional dunker in LA. My first thought is that he’d have a pretty good intro video package for The Bachelorette. Anyone want to put money down that he gets one?
Clay, 30, Pro Football Player
Clay was on his way to the poetry slam but somehow got lost and ended up on the Bachelorette. He allegedly doesn’t curse but is a fan of hip-hop music. I think he is the “famous” football player who was in talks to be on this season. Apparently I should care. Never heard of him.
Colton, 26, Former Pro Football Player
“Hi, my name is Colt and welcome to my Youtube Channel!” That’s the vibe I’m getting from this picture. I’m also getting Blake Griffin vibes. He just looks strangely tan here. Colton may have a job at the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. I’m curious to know if he has a story as to WHY he is involved with CF. He also lives in Denver and has a dog named Sniper, which is awkward because the neighboring city of Boulder just banned assault weapons.
EDIT: He was the guy who asked out Aly Raisman via public video and they briefly dated. I shipped them so hard. I AM SHOOKETH.
Connor, 25, Fitness Coach
I feel like I’m going to be sick if I hear one more guy talk about how they were “almost” a professional athlete and how much they lo0o0o0ove working out. I’m sadly only at the beginning of this cast list. Someone pray for me. And someone pray that Connor’s eyebrows grow back after that terrible wax job.
Darius, 26, Pharmaceutical Sales Rep
Darius works for big pharma yet claims to be dedicating his life to helping others. Err, okay. He likes to dance and travels a lot so my guess is he’s probably not ready to settle down at age 26 despite his 36-year-old hairline.
David, 25, Venture Capitalist
David looks like every finance bro who lives in West Village and only dates 22-year-old Instagram models. The only difference is that he lives in Denver instead of Manhattan, which by society’s standards makes him more wholesome. He also loves guacamole, but dislikes avocado, which roughly translates to: I don’t cook and eat Chipotle for dinner every night.
Grant, 27, Electrician
The only way Grant is making it past night one is if he shows up fully dressed as a member of the Village People or as Bob The Builder. If not, he has no chance.
Garrett, 29, Medical Sales Rep
Pro tip to ABC: The letter A comes before the letter R in the alphabet. These names are out of order.
Anyway, Garret reminds me of Ben Afleck in that his face just makes me want to punch him..in the face. Besides the fact that he also works for big pharma, he actually has outdoor hobbies besides “I enjoy fresh air and walking in the woods” like fly fishing and showshoeing. I’m hoping he isn’t a giant jerk because I kind of like him.
Jake, 29, Marketing Consultant
I thought his name was “Joke” at first because I am a terrible person. I think Joke...I mean Jake...is from the same city as Becca. (I’m assuming Minnesota only has one city) I feel like all hot people in cities have this inner-circle where they know of each other, so maybe they’ve crossed paths before.
Jason, 29, Sr. Corporate Banker
Andrew Keegan? I love your work. “Jason” likes sports and singing along to Disney movies. He contains multitudes.
Jean Blanc, 31, Colognoisseur
I love that ABC took a smart, educated, immigrant with a successful job and gave him a fake occupation on television. Jean Blanc is a cologne connoisseur. I feel like he would smell good. 10/10 would smell him.
Joe, 31, Grocery Store Owner
I feel like a lot of these bios are the equivalent to what it’s like to drive in an Uber. The driver is always explaining to you how successful they are and where they traveled as a way to prove they aren’t some loser driving you around. Joe’s bio screams “Yeah I own a grocery store but also worked in finance before I burnt myself out, so don’t judge me.” Nobody was judging you, but now I am.
John, 28, Software Engineer
John hopes to be the first Asian male to make it out of night one on The Bachelorette. I can already tell he’s better than most of these guys: he works at a start-up in Silicon Valley, likes wine, plays guitar and bakes banana bread. He deserves a rose, dammit!
Jordan, 26, Male Model
Robert Mills, who is like an important ABC guy or something, called Jordan the “greatest Bachelorette contestant of all time.” Clearly he’s trying to make us forget about Chad. Good luck with that, Robert. Definitley not happening.
So Jordan is probably this season’s villain. Whatever, I don’t care. I DO care, however, that his bio is bragging about a mediocre 4:24 mile time and “sprinting to the finish line.” The time was written as “4.24″ by ABC and a comma is also missing from that sentence. ABC, let me know if you want to hire me as an editor. Back to the mile comment: A mile is an endurance mid-distance race. Nobody is technically sprinting in it, unless it’s a tactical race. Puns don’t work if they’re factually incorrect.
Kamil, 30, Social Media Participant
Kamil works in real estate and is a part-time model, but ABC decided to call him a “social media participant.” He’s originally from Poland but lives in Upstate New York, which is evident based on the fact he’s wearing a denim button-up shirt.
Leo, 31, Stuntman
It’s crazy how fast Alex Bordy grew his hair in a year. “Not Alex Bordy” is a stuntman in LA, which I heard is a pretty sick job. I am personally a fan of his hair. He knows how to tame those curls and probably rocks a great man bun. I would love to know what products he uses.
Lincoln, 26, Account Executive
Lincoln has a lot of things going on in his bio. He moved to Boston from Nigeria as a teenager, went to college in Kentucky and moved to Santa Monica for work. We met him on ATFR and he was super nervous, cute and had an accent to make most girls swoon. I’d say make him The Bachelor but 26 is too young in my opinion.
Mike, 27, Sports Analyst
How come every Ohio sports fan names their dog Riggins? Based on his hair, I’m assuming Mike is a radio sports analyst. That hair on television? No thank you. Hopefully Leo can give him some tips to make his hair look decent. Did you know: Becca’s psycho ex Ross used to have long hair? It was not cute. But I don’t think Becca is going to send the long-haired guys home immediately a la the notoriously shallow Andi Dorfman.
Nick, 27, Attorney
I’m excited for Nick to be on the show because I know him by association. Let me explain: A friend of mine went to school with one of his friends and periodically stalks her social media. The friend is a girl, so I think he’s friends with mostly girls, which may explain why he loves to “brunch.” He looks terrible in this photo. Nick gives me polished, sexually ambiguous vibes based on how he appears on Insta. I also knew he was going to be on the show before R*ality St*ve, which made me feel powerful. It was a rush.
Rickey, 27, IT Consultant
I know of Rickey too. He was a Bodybuilding.com Spokesmodel Search finalist in 2017. Hashtag #rightreasons. I’m not sure how “online personal trainer” translates to IT consultant, but ok. Side note: I don’t think bodybuilders look good in suits so he might go home night one.
Ryan, 26, Banjoist
Before the “Yanny or Laurel” debate there was the “Ryan or Brian” debate on After The Final Rose. Evidently the answer is Ryan. He’s the new Wells and I could not be more excited to watch this babe on my television screen. He plays at least four instruments and loves to sail. He also screams “family money” but it’s ok, we can mooch off his parents together.
Trent, 28, Realtor
Can you imagine having a child and naming it Trent? This guy never had a chance. He is a realtor and a part-time model (I swear I wrote the same thing a few contestants up) and has appeared on covers of romance novels, but I certainly wouldn’t call him the next Fabio.
Wills, 29, Graphic Designer
Wills is a graphic designer who loves Harry Potter. I see no problem here. Except for maybe his porno-stache.
Prediction corner:
Welcome to the prediction corner where I never get anything right. Oh, you know what happens because you read spoilers? Please keep that information to yourself. I like to find out what happens on my own.
Without further ado, here are my baseless predictions:
First Impression Rose: The guys who got the First Impression Rose on the last three seasons became engaged to The Bachelorette. If that happens this year I demand a scientific case study to explain the power of first impressions on women. Anyway, I think Ryan gets it.
Season Villain: Jordan (that was easy)
Next Bachelor: Blake (don’t ask me why)
Winner: Garrett (I like him)
Comment below to let me know your early favorites!
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