#Its sad that I have to say it like that but it is true. I do not think this artist should continue to be an artist if they are going
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TV Glow was devastating. incredibly effective visually, thematically, and performance-wise. Schoenbrun has leveled up in a major way since World's Fair, which I felt like I was five years too old for, both in terms of references and from having seen too much weird shit in this life to be impressed by her version of what's "scary" online.
This movie was far more creatively ambitious and emotionally resonance -- it having a bigger budget certainly helped stretch its legs, and Schoenbrun used it to its fullest.
Justice Smith's acting made me want to cry. He shows a true reverence for the material that few cis actors would; far from viewing the character as a little exercise, he transforms into her discomfort and sadness. His little voice warbles and the way his face softens with hope at a few crucial moments made my heart break for him, knowing already that the dreams he'd barely let himself hold onto would never come true.
I can't believe an Emma Stone produced wide release movie is about transgender egg drama here in 2024. jarring for something that once felt so private and esoteric to be broadly relatable to audiences now. it's fitting, given the movie is about a mass-release TV show that a handful of tender freaks think must be about something so much more than this world would ever let it be. kind of a funny trick there.
is this a movie about depressed isolated queer people whose minds curdle around a random media property because loneliness makes the brain turn inward and eat itself? or is it the tragic tale of a woman who never realized her destiny and allowed the matrix to keep plugging her repeatedly back in?
you can read it both ways at once and it's best if you do. some equipped with fandom goggles with elect to see it only in the more fantastical light.
There are already dozens of people coming out as transgender for the first time in their lives in the Letterboxd reviews of this film, saying they recognize their repression in Owen, their egg at last busted open by this heartbreaking tale of a life unfulfillingly lived. I get it -- before I transitioned, the same thing happened to me with Casey Plett's incredible story collection, A Safe Girl to Love. There is something painfully enchanting about the forever-unrealized trans person whose suffering we imagine would be escapable if only they could admit who they are.
But what do you do when you have overcome your fear of being "crazy," left your old world behind, and passed through that veil to become the person you were always meant to be, only to find that you are still stoop-shouldered and awkward, still overlooked with your heart cut out of you, apologizing to others for your asthma in between your death rattles? What if you never get all the poison out? After you figure out you're a hero from another dimension, what will you do if you can never get back?
I find myself asking these things, as a person who used to fantasize that transitioning would solve all my problems. The imagined future transitioned me felt so distant that it was easy to push him off. And then after years passed, when I finally reached out to claim him, I discovered he was just as awkward, lonesome, insecure, and unhappy as I was, because he was just me. If i'd always been transgender, then I'd always been unhappy for deeply transgender reasons back then, too, and I'd already known a whole lot more about what it meant to be me than I'd thought that I had. Fantasies had been a seductive distraction from the world that was trying to kill me, and they suffocated me whether I denied them or if I believed in them.
This is a movie about fantasies, and the suburbs, and about being transgender. And it's bleak, but I think some who are on the cusp of making the same realizations as Owen can't fully know why yet. Life on the other side of knowing is more liveable, but I can't explain why. It didn't make things better. It wasn't the great escape I had hoped. But it did force me to confront who I was and how many monsters there always had been all around me. And that's better than living in a fantasy.
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MHA 423: Breakdown + Speculation
(MANGA SPOILERS.)
I would like to start this off by saying that there was a lot set up with the OFA realm that never got used (if this is the true conclusion.)
Nothing further came from Katsuki entering the OFA realm. (I think that it’s obvious that Katsuki came back being able to tap into OFA, but that was never actually confirmed.)
Nothing came from Toshinori and his vestige syncing...
Nothing came from Star’s vestige reappearing. (Star originally gave up her chance to kill Tomura/AFO, because she saw Tenko still inside the vestige realm… this is all very interesting timing.)
“Master… I found a sad child. He’s right there.”
(This literally happened only 10 chapters ago. It’s not like these were older events that were suddenly written out as being relevant.)
All of this was done for a purpose, all foreshadowing for something more. It would be horrifically bad writing if quite literally nothing came from it.
How Tenko Will Survive:
“I have no doubt All For One was absorbed and stopped existing.”
Izuku questioned how AFO was able to come back, even stressing how he was sure that AFO had been fully absorbed (this literally happened 2 chapters ago…) and ceased to exist.
All For One isn’t the only character this has happened to either!!
Yoichi (+ the other vestiges) came back as well. AFO was certain that Yoichi’s vestige had been shattered and destroyed.
“How dare you destroy my One For All… My Yoichi…”
“When I heard the sound of Yoichi being shattered to pieces… my whole world turned grey.”
Even Star’s vestige reappearing is an example of this happening… the fact that we have gotten no explanation for any of this is so weird.
There is definitely something more going on here that hasn’t been revealed yet.
((I personally think that this is gearing up for All For One (quirk) reaching the point of singularity… OFA has already reached that point, but AFO has not. I feel like it’s somewhat inevitable, imo.))
I can see Tomura’s “soul” (his sense of self, IMO) being saved by whatever had originally brought back the other vestiges, and his body being saved by the Overhaul quirk he possesses.
Tomura believes that his only purpose (the reason that he was even born) is to destroy. He literally mourns the fact that he wasn’t able to destroy Izuku’s arms, not because it was something that he enjoyed, but because destruction is the only thing that Tomura believes he’s capable of…
Overhaul gives Tomura the ability to CREATE and not just destroy. Tomura didn’t even have a chance to process the idea that he could possibly do that. It didn’t even seem to register for him at all.
I think that Tomura referring to himself (“Shigaraki Tomura”) in quotations is gearing up for a “death of Shigaraki Tomura, rebirth of Shimura Tenko” type deal.
I also want to add that we never actually saw Izuku use One For All on Tomura.
We didn’t see Tomura’s body cease to exist, we saw his vestige be destroyed.
Izuku and Tomura do not actually need to be near each other in person to interact within the vestige realm!! (I truly wouldn’t be surprised if some Kurogiri portal fuckery is going on here as well.)
Speculation:
Alright. I’m trying not to be delusional about this, but there was definitely something off about this chapter. Not in a poorly written way, but in a “there is some fuckery going on here” type way.
This seemed like a purposefully manufactured “end” to One For All and All For One… A performance more than anything. (This could be the result of a rushed ending, but I’m going to be optimistic about all of this.) Izuku referring to All Might as “the Eighth” was so odd.
The scene of AFO speaking to Yoichi’s “embers” was also very strange to me. The entire conversation between Yoichi and AFO felt off, as if Yoichi was just a distraction. Also the fact that all of the vestiges were able to hold their full forms, except for Yoichi is such a red flag… (Even AFO’s vestige was able to revert back to its pre-injured self.) Especially since Izuku had held onto OFA the most out of all of the past users quirks… OFA is special to Izuku, not for its power but because it had been a gift from All Might.
Izuku is not incapable of being selfish.
I can definitely see him trying to hold onto something from One For All…
The reason that AFO’s “soul” was finally shattered is that the idea that Yoichi was truly gone left him with nothing else… AFO no longer cared about ruling over others, finding it pointless without him.
If there is even the smallest bit of OFA left, I can very much see AFO coming back again (😭) I genuinely think that he wouldn’t give up if there was even an ember of Yoichi left…
All For One definitely will not be getting any sort of redemption by the end of the series, but I do think that he will possibly get some sort of closure for Yoichi's death... which will be what finally stops the cycle.
[End of meta, beginning of rant:]
If there is nothing more after this, that was probably the worst conclusion to a plot line that we have ever had in the entire series.
I am of the firm belief that what happened this chapter would've been fine (minus, Tomura's possible conclusion) if it had been spaced out between even 2-3 chapters instead of a single one. It felt rushed and this "climax" fell flat.
I don’t think that Tenko is dead (or at least will stay dead) but the idea that that was the conclusion of the OFA/AFO plotline is making me feel insane.
There is so much important shit that still needs to be resolved, and the idea that it's gonna happen AFTER the climax in some post-war bullshit is also making me feel just a little bit crazy. ngl.
It's all just gonna feel so anticlimactic. Unless something changes drastically in the next chapter, I just know the ending will be disappointing on some level if things stay as they currently are…
(Even if this is not the conclusion of the OFA/AFO plotline, this chapter could do so much possible damage if things are not handled properly, I really don’t know if whatever is being planned next could even fully salvage it…)
Izuku’s actions:
I’ll be honest, I’m not particularly surprised with how Izuku acted this chapter. His view of Tomura has always been flawed, and that had been shown time and time again throughout this battle…
(I’m working on a longer post about this. It’s been something that I have kept to myself for a while now, and I think now is a good time to post my thoughts on it.)
Izuku never wanted to save Shigaraki Tomura, he wanted to save Shimura Tenko.
I think that this chapter perfectly displayed that particular flaw to readers… I really don’t think that this is the result of poor writing, but was a flaw purposefully given to Izuku.
(A flaw that he has yet to overcome… I do hope that this will be something that is resolved by the end of the series.)
The Fandom Response:
I’m seeing a lot of people say things like “Tenko can rest now.” or “Well, I guess Tenko’s heart was saved in the end.” when that is simply not true.
Tomura did not have any sort of revelation about AFO’s grooming. He still believed that he was born to destroy, that did not change in the slightest.
Tomura did not get any closure for the death of his family. He practically learns that he and his family were doomed from the start, and then just accepted it.
Tomura did not die “happy” or even at peace.
The idea that the only way for Tomura to be stopped was for him to be killed is just simply not true. He literally gave up a few chapters prior. It’s not like he was “too far gone” or on a rampage and needed to be put down.
…I have a lot more thoughts on this chapter that I won’t be sharing (yet) but I just can’t accept that it ends there. I cannot accept the idea that the main plotline of the series was so horrifically fumbled after all this time.
If Tomura truly died like that, it quite literally threw out 5+ years of development.
Tomura was humanized over and over again. For nothing?
It all just seems very… cruel.
#mha#my hero academia#mha spoilers#mha 423#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#bnha 423#midoriya izuku#shigaraki tomura#all for one#meta#long post#rant#I have been sorta tweaking out since the chapter leaks originally dropped but I have been trying to be level headed about everything…#so here are my overall thoughts… I will be making a few other posts explaining myself further at some point as well…
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CivE Duke - inspired by this post by mysterycitrus
This was one of Duke's favorite parts of his job. Not that one, the other one, the civilian one.
"Duke Thomas," his mother had told him when he got his engineer's seal crimp in the mail. "Is every bit Gotham's hero as much as The Signal is."
Every other week it seemed he donned his steel toed boots, hard hat, and high vis and went to look at the bones of some old building.
Most days were sat at his desk in a nice comfy high rise in Old Gotham, eyes glued to the searing white of some ancient as-builts on his screen. (As-builts, especially in Gotham, were more of a suggestion than a rule, his team had started calling them "Maybe-builts" and it fit more than he'd like.)
Gotham, in Duke's experience, had good bones for the most part. Even caked in years and years of grime, asbestos, and mob snitches, there was beauty in pulling away the facade to look at all that union-made bessemer steel.
Today on the chopping block was a Park Row mid-rise, slated for either refurbishment or demolition, all depending on Duke's word.
It wasn't anything even close to the rush of saving a life, but there is a light feeling he gets, knowing that some old structure can be reused.
Duke knows its a little silly to get sad when something old is beyond saving, especially when he signs over it's death.
"It's like a forest fire," his dad had told him once, after he watched his first controlled demolition. "You gotta burn out the dead things so new things can live."
This building though, Duke has a good feeling about it. Or at least that is what he tells his trainee, Ines, while he scans the building with his X-ray vision.
Ines Borja is a bright kid fresh from the hell that is Gotham U's CivE program, she's not a Gotham native but while living here she fell in love with the city (and it's cost of living). According to her, New York isn't much worse, Gotham's just weirder.
Weird is, unfortunately, Duke's bread and butter. They pick through delapidated rooms with crumbling sheet rock with mostly intact concrete encased steel. He spots some areas with crumbling concrete that he points out to Ines, who dutifully takes photos.
"Those are areas we'll need to test for water penetration and corrosion," Duke explains.
He's explaining other testing that will need to be done, radar of the foundation, metallurgical testing, etc, when they hear yelling outside.
For a moment Duke ignores it, but the hard walls carry echos of what's being said.
"I'm not going to ask again, your money asshole!"
The flat thud of a notebook hitting the ground is the last thing Ines hears as Duke takes off like a shot.
His site walk boots are heavy, much much heavier than his Signal boots. They're for protection and insulation from the hard concrete he has to stand on all day. They're so not meant for running, he thinks as he barrels out of the survey site and around the corner.
There are two figures in the alley when he stomps into the scene, slipping his hard hat off. The mugger is on the younger end, thats about all the analysis Duke gets to do before he sees the gun.
It's nice sometimes, Duke things, as he spins like a discus thrower, to fight normal city problems. He's liable to get bogged down in big world ending shit that sometimes its just nice to save a mugging victim.
The reinforced plastic leaves his fingers in a rush, aimed straight and true, slamming into the gun in the mugger's right hand.
Both the mugger and muggee have a moment of shock before Duke slams into the first guy like a freight train, knocking him out of the confrontation and onto the ground.
"I'd advise you sit down for a moment," Duke says to the would-be mugger, flatly. He turns to the shaking older man.
"Sir are you alright," he asks politely.
"I am now," the older man, well dressed but not wealthy in the way that Duke knows people in the town are. "Thank you very much."
"Alright then," Duke says calmly, he fishes in his pockets for one of the many business cards he always keeps on himself. It's for a therapist, and a good one in Duke's opinion. A profession in too short supply in Gotham. "Might be best if you get on with your day, I'll stay with this young gentleman here."
The older man is clearly a true Gothamite, because he doesn't protest, just moves along. Probably not even the most traumatic thing the guy's witnessed in the last year.
Duke turns to young man on the ground, who hasn't moved a muscle from where Duke put him just a second ago.
"Hey man I don't want any trouble."
Ines chooses this moment to catch up, her skin flushed and she's panting, She is still carrying all the gear with her, which no doubt slowed her down.
"Bit late for that yeah?" Duke questions with a raise of his brow, he motions with his chin in the direction of the gun. It's a couple yards off, resting comfortably with his hard hat. "What's your name?"
"David sir, i-its not even loaded, just to scare people a bit," all comes out in a rush, the young man, David, is clearly terrified.
"Hey, I know, it's hard out here," Duke placates. Out of one of the seemingly endless pockets on his work pants he pulls out his wallet. Out comes two more cards and a couple of bills. "Listen, here's fifty bucks, go get yourself something to eat."
"I-"
"Hold on, I'm not done," Duke says. "This is the information for Leslie's clinic down the street, she can help you with a lot, or just point you towards someone who can. If you need anything else this is the Wayne Ent outreach office, the director there is Elaine, tell her Duke sent you."
"You- you're not going to call the cops?" David asks, bewildered.
"And have them do what? You're robbing a man for twenty dollars with a gun that has no bullets," Duke observes. "You clearly don't need jail time you need a hand."
As if to illustrate his point, Duke reaches out to help him up. David hesitates for a split second, before accepting the offered hand.
"Seriously thought," Duke continues. "Leslie and m-Elaine helped me though some of the worst times of my life okay, reach out to them, they can help, you're not in this alone."
David looked like he was about to cry.
"Thank you man, just thank you."
"Just looking out for my fellow man," Duke replies. "Now get going I got work."
David laughs a little at that before shuffling awkwardly by Ines. Duke turns to look at her.
"You are like, officially the coolest boss I've ever had," she tells him seriously.
"No way, didn't your last boss bow hunt wild boar?"
"Yeah but that's jack all compared to my Apparently incredibly based current boss."
Duke chuckles: "You don't even know about my teenage years."
"What, you were doing child anti-cop anarco-communist action?"
"More or less."
"Based as fuck," she says, amazed.
Duke just shrugs.
"My mom always said: never accept the world as it is, make it better. And so I do, so i will."
Duke turns a little, to look back at the mid-rise that will have new life breathed into it sooner or later.
So I will.
#duke thomas#batfam#duke practiced extensively to get that hardhat throw down btw#hes a bat he's prepared for anything#bread talk#my fic#i wrote this on the clock#so if its bad at least i got paid#ask me about construction engineering lmao
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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after these leaks i just genuinely think megumi has depression like not even in a “wow haha he always pulls out mahoraga!” way but in an Oh my god his WHOLE LIFE has been in shambles since he was like 8 and i think he is like forever messed up
#this might be a severe misunderstanding of his character but also#we do not have nearly enough detail about his backstory and that worries me#we don’t have enough detail about him PERIOD#or at least from how i understand jjk#like maybe he pulls out mahoraga all the time because he’s willing to sacrifice himself all the time in like the craziest way possible#what do you mean i have to see a panel of him kneeling and crying and saying ‘that’s enough i don’t care anymore’#LET ME OUT AAAA TELL ME ITS NOT TRUE TELL ME ITS NOT TRUE#i just think that having a really messed up family dynamic and being raised by a teenager for most of your life would really fuck you up#but also like yeah i think that having to watch u kill ur own sister in your body is pretty bad#i just think he’s sad he makes me sad every time i see him#jjk 251#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi
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honestly beth and jerry have maybe my second favourite relationship in the entire show just for how interesting and tragic it is. like its brushed aside a lot in favour of other stuff but they were really both just kids... and the saddest part about them is that they maybe do love each other but its always in some way artificial
#‘i would find you in any lifetime’ but they never really had a choice#rick and morty#makes stuff like rixty minutes wayyy more sad#like they say they only had summer bc they blew a tire on the way to the clinic… JAW DROP.#but also stuff like jerry talking beth back thru their first kiss and her admitting to hating it#alsooo like. ik they bring up a lot that beth was 17 but jerry was also like. 17. or around it. they were BOTH kids and they both had to#make hard decisions. and they both did everything wrong and are both unhappy#like as much as ppl cling to that one speech abt jerry being a parasite i think its true for both of them#they both need each other in a sick way. yhey both love each other and they both hate wach other#its just their different personalities and they way they view each other that sets them apart#rick views jerry as a parasite bc well.. beth is his daughter and a lot like him#and also u can argue he was projecting a lot in that scene#but in the end its beth who ends up going back to jerry#she needs jerry as much as he needs her. bc he gives her that unconditional love she missed growinh up#..anyway#do they have a ship name btw. berry. jereth. lol#for the record their relationship is terrible. but i love thinking abt it its sooooo compelling to me
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me: coming to terms with my fanworks being really niche and not interesting to the majority of the fandom and maybe not the greatest in anything but decent enough to have a few people be interested and thats fine and good and i shouldnt feel bad about it and feel grateful for what i do have-
-sees other people getting into the same niche but with way cooler designs, ideas and writing, also way faster in making anything-
me: fuck fuck shit god damn fuck im gonna get bad grades at fanworks which is very real and possible to happen fucking hell oh gods no
#ganondoodles talks#not saying this as in everything i do sucks or i suck#bc i know that aint true#but i feel creatively stunted?#when i look at other peoples stuff#like damn why cant my brain come up with so diverse and interesting designs#and looking at the strucutre of destinys story its starting to feel like i have no idea of how to write anything worth reading#i wish i could train my brain to be more creative but it hasnt worked ever#im pretty conservative with my designs arent i#im sad#in the sense of damn i wish i could do stuff like that#im jealous but without any hatred directed at anyone#like its not their fault for being better if anyones at fault its me lol#also this is meant primarily as a joke#like ye im sad i cant think of cool stuff like that but im not depressed about it#if that makes sense
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i submitted my lovely mouseboy Finnegan for the @ahatintime-oc-competition yesterday :D here is the art i drew 4 them!
for those unaware: he came from a dream i had once involving him and Snatcher But As A Bird; and i sorta just. added onto them from there. they're so sillay
#a hat in time oc#potatart#ahit#(just for the art tag....sorry :#Finnegan Snowshoe#get propergandered. i will conjure up more art of them soon i think#very vivid image in my mind of what their personality is like but its rlly hard to describe#...........#ok quickly avert ur eyes i am going to say something that is embarrassing to me#oc competitions make me nervous and it is because i think last time i did one it went Badly#like idc about the losing part i thought that was really funny but i just felt like everyone.hated me :#i know thats not true and its the brain poison talking but#i remember somebody skimmed thru my account and saw that i was hyperfixated on south park at the time and#uswd that as a reason to not vote for my character#which was one of those things that made me so so nervous that i felt Physically Ill and it ruined like my whole day#confidence is key. i think. so i am grabbing myself by the shoulders and going “YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN!!!!”#sorry for the very Personalness that just jappened here. its okay thought bc i trust everuone averyed their eyes to my sad ramblings#besides i like finnegan :] and i trust most ppl to not Kill me Dead#anyways. ignore ignore ignore FINNECHER NUMERO UNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THIS IS A LITTLE SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL: PUTTING TOO MUCH EFFORT INTO THINGS
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it is now officially the 25th which means...
merry christmas everyone !!! regardless of whether u celebrate or not, i hope u all have a lovely day with whoever u spend it with or with urself <33
#sophie's idle chatter#this is scheduled so im HOPING it posts at 12 am.... prays....#i havent been super active in the past month or two bc life is kicking my ass (<- has said this countless times already but its still true)#also !! i see asks and ill try and answer them when i actually have the time and energy 😭 ik i say this a lot but ive been drained good god#(not so) mini life updates :#the new lovebrush chronicles main story update has made me weep so much... ive done both clarence and ayns routes and....#my god.... this story is darker and honestly im loving it AND i love how they did the chara roles in this world (alkaid... ourgh...)#my tear glands arent tho bc ayn ending 3.... what the fuck was that i couldnt sleep after doing that ending??? ITS WAS SO SAD AND FOR WHATF#currently having to wait until the 27th so i can do lars route 😔#the recent ep of apothecary diaries.... ourgh my heart.... jinshi and maomao beloveds :((#oh !! and ive gotten back into my ace of diamonds/daiya no ace phase and have been rewatching the series...#sobbing chris and yuki and miyuki my beloveds.... kissing ur foreheads and holding u gently.....#the way i got back into it bc im catching up on s2 of a clean sweep (a korean baseball variety show that i love with all my heart ;w;)#my mum is a traitor tho bc she watched every new ep that came out on tuesdays while i was in uni 🧍♀️ so now im catching up on the 30 eps#on my own 🧍♀️#OMG AND ALSO DR STONE S3??? WHY WAS I NOT NOTIFIED THAT PART 1 CAME OUT MONTHS AGO AND PART 2 WAS MORE RECENT???#i havent been doing that much writing recently tho bc the fingers wont type but the brain is exploding with ideas i cannot handle this#i do want to get back to the haitham sxf series tho.... and also my oc various x reader series.......#tbh ive been contemplating abt publishing the haitham series on ao3 once i write more chapters before publishing them#idk i feel like the series would be nice to have on ao3 as well as tumblr JHDG#thats abt it i think?#anywho if u read this far then know i am giving u a warm cookie as a condolence prize for getting through this life dump <33#ill leave it off here but i hope u all have a lovely day !! mwah mwah merry chrysler everyone 🎄🫶#queue... ueueue
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drinking and doing ad-hoc repair surgery on a book from 1994, but pretending I'm a grizzled detective removing a bullet
#i had a weird gender day#considering writing a requiem for an old name#or playing a solo rpg where you're a lab assistant in some kind of cthulu lab#Anything to distract me from reading The Sad Gender Book and texting old trans friends demanding answers like some kind of crazy ex#how do you stop the underbands of sports bras from folding into two or rolling up and becoming a cutting line of pain#why does nothing fit even when its supposed to#is David still out there somewhere#on the internet#did he make it without me#it's totally normal to have a boysona who you think of a seperate person right? It's a pity I cut him loose at 16 an he never got to grow u#The tumblr tags system is the last true format for the drunken ramble#I'd say delete this later but we all know i'll forget
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thought about that one post that's like "every crew got the silly homie with a profound air of sadness about him". you cant make it about penguindrum because none of them have a crew and if you just make it about the cast then everyone's the silly homie with a profound air of sadness about them
#mawaru penguindrum#ok but honestly its himari. she is silly and she DOES have an air of profound sadness about her#<- that none of the other characters' air of profound sadness can compare to. tbh#“none of them have a crew” is such a funny thing to say but like. it's true. poor lonely bunch#i have sooo many pointless thoughts#takatext
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My kingdom for a "So you say” (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Dexter Favin#Hhhh they ;; Their ''first'' interaction!#Officially up to three cryings - not that I'm surprised I love Dex <3#My head was fully abuzz during this scene there are so so so many interesting details!#So interesting to see which ''held true'' and which were left behind - which ones became Helix while others didn't!#At this point I almost see Helix as an alternate timeline - kind of like how Defeated is a branching arm off the main body#Not terribly dissimilar but the details that are different are too interesting to let go of so just make it all canon in its own way! Hehe#Especially since Helix is largely from Max's 3rd person perspective so the way he tells it is different than Dexter haha#Very interesting what he leaves out in his retelling hehehehe ♪♫#Anyhow enough of Max he's not even here rn sheesh ♪ ZEX! And Dexter ;;#Hghhghh it's all set up so deviously <3 That fact that up to this point ZEX has been relying on Zelnick especially to give him credence#And then as soon as someone he ''knows he trusts'' comes to throw a wrench into things - Dexter has as much weight or more!#He's specifically engineered to sow doubt and confusion! Gosh what a place to grow his character from <3 <3#ZEX's pride undoes him completely it's So well written ♥ Truly a fatal flaw for VUX and the way he's picked apart aghh <3#And?? The fact that I can hear ''Max's'' voice in ZEX's syntax as soon as he doesn't have a good argument??? Hello????#I know they come from the same base but like!! How!!! Masterful 💖#As I drew it it's a bit out of order - Dexter says he can't protect Max (😭) before ZEX starts crying it all got a bit mixed in my head#I was very emotional at the time you understand haha#It's all so sad! They're so close in some ways to being or having what the other wants but both fall just short#No wonder they took what little comfort in each other they could <3 ZEX comforted by his voice and Dex comforted by caring for his body#They have so little to offer each other trapped as they are ;;#It's all so interesting and distressing!! There's so much to think about as everything falls into place!
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i wish i was better at making online friends there are so many ppl that i dont even see on here anymore i thought were sooo cool and then was just too nervous to strike up conversation until it all died down
#i also think about how over the years ive gotten easily over a dozen anons saying they thought i was hot or had a crush on me.#and i know they were anons but like. should i have done something abt that. was that a lost connection#many lost connections?#im just honestly. very very nervous#when i first started blogging i assumed much like ppl i’d seen online that my severe social anxiety wouldnt be as bad online. that isnt true#sometimes i can barely catch my breath when im dming someone#even my close friends know im not a great texter#its sad. i always want to but get too scared to#im not against any of it. friends or dating or anything its just im. perpetually nervous#for some reason posting and replying to posts and sending asks doesnt even feel scary but dming does#and theres also been the rare times that ive had ppl on here i was.. not not into#its rare for me to admit that at all but like idk even what to do with that
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💛💛Benji "Scrags" Scragtowski, my beloved💛💛
(If you couldn't tell, he's my favorite Squadster)
#love my little sad detective man with his PTSD and complicated relationship with food#thank god he isn't real so I don't have to resent him for being a cop#he can be a bitch but I am very proud of him#Esther talks a big game about doing all the work (and its true they do a lot of the heavy lifting)#but Scrags is the one who gets the cases solved#like in Grunch the mystery remains unsolved until Scrags finishes coming to terms with his personal drama and turns his attention to it#at which point the Grunch gets caught lickety-split#he keeps the others actually on task and working I guess#benji scrags Scragtowski#Solve It Squad#Solve It Squad Back in Biz#the Solve it squad says no to drugs#the solve it squad returns#tin can bros#joey richter#rewatchers2000
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#went to a houseparty this evening and one of my pals started talking about being pro palestine but in a genocide the jews way#and its just made me really sad because what happened to just valuing human lives#what happened to being pro not genociding people at all#why have i got to listen to friends say they think my bfs family should be killed just bc they fall on the wrong side of the tiktok argumwnt#like im not pro killing anyone on either side i think its a really complicated issue#just sucks to have friends look you in the eye and tell you ur family should be murdered when at the end of the day#everyone that isnt the israeli government specifically is just a person looking for a home in a world that doesnt believe they deserve one#and thats true of Israelis and Palestinians respectively bc theres people on both sides of that argument#since when did saying i dont think murdering the jews is the answer become wrong? why cant i be anti israels government#and anti palestinian genocide#and anti jewish genocide#maybe im just a fucking hippie but i just dont believe in any genocide sorry???
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I wish there were better ways to discuss outrage that didn't rely on the same language we use for surprise. It's very tiring to complain about something horrific or that sucks wicked bad and get 'and this surprises you?'
My outrage is not dependent on surprise, it is dependent on my moral code being violated, which happens often enough that I do not find it surprising, but also, I refuse to be numb to my morals.
#Like the way that it implies the only smart way to be is completely shut off#I get the world isn't fun but damn we can expect better without being naive#IDK it's just such a frustrating conversational trope#That you can't be outraged except if you're so naive to have never encountered the problem before#I actually am mad because I know a lot about this not because I know nothing about it#For all sorts of values of 'this'#It is SHOCKING it is UPSETTING but it is not SUPRISING#And I don't know how to communicate the former in a way people won't mistake for the later sometimes#Like to drastically lower the conversational stakes but maintain the parallel:#Suppose I told you I was sad my baseball team lost and you said 'why are you surprised even the best teams lose 50 games a year'#Like yes this is true but surprise was not the central emotion going on and focusing on that would be missing what I was trying to say#My preparation for an eventuality at most blunts the emotions from its passage it doesn't remove them
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