#It's a bit of a mess but it makes sense for them
Note
Alastor loves his mother, he protected her from his father and went on a killing spree on all horrible men.
So it only makes sense that he falls in love with single mother reader yeah? Like she killed her husband to protect her child and they both ended up in hell? And Alastor just obsessing with mother reader and her child.
I haven’t written anything in a while so this might be a little wonky but i hope i did ok
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Alastor hated men that treated good women terribly.
Especially if there were children in the home.
He had lived with his mother, who put up with his father’s abuse for his sake.
Until Alastor had had enough of seeing the woman he loved abused by her husband.
Despite his mother's protests.
His mother always loved his father despite how he treated them.
Love works in mysterious ways Is what his mother use to say.
He didn’t understand what that meant…
Until he met you.
The pretty doll with a tot.
From the grapevine he learned that no one had seen a husband around or a band on your finger.
He thought it was impossible; you were a catch!
Why was a sweet thing like you without a husband?
“Would you care to stay for dinner my dear?” Alastor asked as you got up ready to go home. You had came over to give him a fruit basket, a welcome gift as you were his neighbor.
You looked at the time surprised at how long you had stayed chatting.
”Oh Al i would hate to intrude and its past this one’s bedtime” you said gesturing to the child, who had fell asleep in your arms.
Alastor hummed. He had grown quite attached to you and the little one, he had hoped you would take his invitation and stay the night.
Soon.
You gave him a soft smile and went home.
Alastor was the most eligible bachelor in town. All the ladies swooned after him, though he never cared for the attention, but it was different with you.
He went about his evening routine when the sound of shouting could be heard.
interesting.
From the window of his kitchen, he had a perfect view into your home.
A man was standing in your living room, hands moving animatedly.
He scowled. Ah that must be your estranged husband.
You had told Alastor a bit about the man you were married to and how much of a bastard he was.
You were frowning and standing between him and your child.
The man advanced and Alastor thought to go over but to his surprise you gestured for the child to go to their room and got in the man’s face.
The two of you exchanged words and the man raised his hand and hit you. You stumbled back, seemingly shock and looked at him with disbelief and something else.
You grabbed a nearby by lamp and smashed it against his head. The man went down and you jumped on top of him, slamming the lamp down over and over until you stood back up and there was blood on your clothes.
You covered your mouth, panic set in and you ran from the room.
Alastor’s lips turned into a smile and he made his way over.
He knocked at the door, basically bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement.
You opened the door, now cleaned “A-Al? What are you-”
He feigned concern “Heard a ruckus and came to make sure you and the tot were ok” You looked back into the house and then back at him.
”We-we’re ok” you whispered.
His brows quirked, head tilting “You sure Cher?”
You bit at your lip before opening the door to let him in.
Alastor’s eyes landed on the battered body of your husband and turned to you.
You were obviously distressed “Al he-he threatened me and then hit me and I didn’t know what else to do” you approached him, almost pleading
”Please don’t report me. Pretend you saw nothing and keep. This between us”
Alastor approached the body. He nugded it with his shoe and smiled “Oh my dear I would never. In fact, why not leave this mess to me hm? You look worn for wear ”
You nodded and sat on your couch and had a meltdown.
You just killed a man.
Your husband.
But you had no choice.
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“So you’re telling me that you been with Smiles ever since” Angel asked shocked.
You smiled “I mean it ain’t every day a man takes care of your dead body. I knew from that moment that he was the one for me”
After the death of your husband, you and Alastor started seeing each other more intimately.
He had let you in on his true identity and the bond between the two of you had grown stronger.
He was an excellent father to your child. The little tot had even started calling him daddy.
But fate was cruel and after many years you died, ending up in Hell for the murder of your husband.
You had found Alastor and reunited, he led you to the hotel, where the two of you lived as a couple.
”She’s full of surprises I assure you” a radio-like voice said and you turned to see Alastor entering the lobby with your child in tow.
Yes. Full of surprises.
For he would have killed the man himself if you didn’t.
it was only right that you were now his
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel fanfiction#jyoongim#alastor x reader#alastor x y/n#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon
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Yandere Fae!, who keeps you hidden away deep inside his castle, away from any unnecessary prying eyes, be it human or the eyes of other immortals such as himself. Your meeting was one of chance and the years of fighting have taught him to cherish all the things he wishes to keep.
Keep your enemies close, but your friends even closer. That was his own personal spin on that old saying.
Yandere Fae!, who is just content with you being close. It does sting with how hard you try to escape but he is sure that his home will grow on you.
He is a lonely man. He has fought valiantly for his king, serving as a knight for his realm for ages. Many of his peers said to him that he ought to take on a human lover, or several if he so wished. While eternal life was tempting to many, the taste and vibrancy of humanity was too good to just be ignored. Humans always aim to please, which always made them such marvelous little lovers. He never understood how so many of his brothers and sisters fell head over heels for a human by simply glancing at them.
Yandere Fae!, who upon first seeing you all alone treading deep within his mortal domain, cannot help but to be smitten. You reek of sweat and sweetness, his pupils dilating dangerously as he pictures what it would be like to sink his teeth into your soft neck. He feels his wings fluttering behind his back, urging him to make a move.
Even from this current distance, he can sense the hot blood pumping through your veins, deceiving you into going straight into his arms. Gentle specks of magic dance carefully on his fingertips, the glow just barely visible in the lush green of the forest.
He may be immortal and eternally youthful but it all paled in comparison to how he felt about you.
Yandere Fae!, who showers you in endless silk and gold, also cannot help but to mess with you just a wee bit.
It's in his nature, he cannot help it.
His tricks keep you on the edge of your seat - will he trick you into thinking you're back home just to see how you'll react? Will he cast a completely different illusion on you? Will he put something inside of your food, forcing you to either dance or weep against your will?
It was horrifying, trying to keep up with all of that.
But, that was the nature of the Fae.
#don't ask me what this is i was just going for The Vibes™#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yancore#yanderecore#yandere aesthetic#yandere male#yandere male x reader#yandere fanfiction#yandere fae#yandere fae x reader#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader
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WING IT
A/N: we are slowly getting more content, lets just hope something drops soon!
WORD COUNT: 3k
SUMMARY: It's your first day working in Selma's Home, you're nervous enough already, but when an emergency calls your boss away and you're left alone, the situation is topped when famous CEO Harry Styles casually strolls in.
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
It doesn’t matter that this job is just an in-between. Something that earns you money until your dream position opens. A first day is always stressful, especially when you have no idea what to do.
You were applying to dozens of jobs at once, just shooting everywhere you could, hoping to get an answer back before your rent was due. Selma’s Home was the first one to invite you for an interview and somehow, miraculously you even got the job despite the fact that you have no experience in retail. You suspect that desperation was a big factor in your hiring, because Selma lost 2 of her employees at once when the young couple that was working for her moved across the country.
Now here you are, walking into the store, nervously fidgeting with your fingers as you head down the aisles where you see Selma behind the cash register already getting ready to open.
“Hi!” you greet her, her head snapping up at your weak voice. Selma is such a fierce, kind of intimidating woman, but you can see how it helped her to open this store and make it one of the most successful home decor stores in the city, offering tasteful stylish pieces along with practical utility items for one’s home.
“Oh, hi! Welcome to your first day, you ready?” She even cracks a smile, but somehow it just makes you gulp hard.
“Yeah, readier than ever!” you manage to squeeze out a nervous chuckle, hoping she doesn’t sense your jitters.
“Alright, then let’s get started.”
With an hour until opening Selma is eager to squeeze in as much information into it as possible. She walks you through the store, talking about the most important items, but also handing you a handbook about everything that’s currently selling in the store.
“Use your downtime to roam around and you’ll learn them by the end of the week without the handbook,” she says, eyes running over the shelves as she is talking, already moving to the storage room in the back.
She talks about the system, how to unload the new arrivals every two weeks and then you move on to the cash register, aka your biggest fear. It’s quite the stress factor to deal with money, making sure everything is neat and correct, you can only hope you won’t mess it all up.
Then the store opens and you follow around Selma to learn the ropes. What’s different here is that whenever a customer comes in you offer them help right away and if needed, you assist them throughout their whole time shopping. There are quite some designer products selling and you’ll need to know everything about them to be able to sell them to the customers just like Selma does.
She is so good at it. No matter who comes in, she so effortlessly talks them into leaving with not only what they came for, but some more as well. She is enchanting, nice, open and warm and you just keep taking notes mentally, though you don’t feel confident enough to be as charming as she can be the moment the bell rings above the door.
When lunch rolls around you allow yourself to feel relieved for a second that you survived half the day already. Selma sends you to the back to have your lunch and you just sit in silence, staring ahead of you, mustering up all your energy for the rest of the workday. You’ve just finished your sandwich when Selma barges into the breakroom.
“Y/N, there’s a bit of an emergency.”
You jump to your feet, scenarios already running through your mind. Is there a fire? Did the storefront just collapse? Someone stole those hella expensive Japanese tablecloths?
“What happened?”
“My daughter, she is ugh! Such a menace, she got into trouble at school, so I have to go there. I need you to cover for a bit, just an hour tops, I swear!”
She is already grabbing her purse, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head, car keys in hand while you just stand there dumbfounded. Is she actually gonna leave you alone in the store on your first day?
“Selma, I-I don’t…”
“You do, Honey. Just an hour. This is a dead time anyway, if anyone comes in, just try your best to help them and ring them up at the end. Easy, I know you can do it!”
She is storming out and you follow her like a lost puppy.
“B-But what if I mess something up?” you ask, panic setting in.
“As long as you don’t set the store on fire, you’ll be fine. I trust you, Y/N!”
And with that, she is already gone, the bell rings above the door as you stand there like a statue.
You watch the storefront in pure panic, your stomach dropping every time it seems like someone is approaching the shop, but no one comes in.
Until the bell rings above the door.
For a split second you hope it’s Selma, but looking up you see a tall, broad figure and your heart threatens to burst right out of your anxiety filled chest, at first because hello! It’s a customer! But then as he steps further into the shop and takes off his sunglasses, realization settles in.
This is not just a regular customer, this is Harry Fucking Styles, CEO of Pleasing Productions, the studio that’s given the world the absolute best romantic movies in the past decades and the man is famously known for being a ladies favorite, but appearing as a total mystery in the media.
You’ve read about him a lot before, it’s hard not to bump into his name online, thanks to his looks he is always somehow in talk for either having dinner with a model, appearing on the red carpet looking like a fucking snack, or, your personaly favorite, declining giving an answer to a question regarding his private life.
And now he is standing there, looking around the store.
It takes a couple of moments for you to push out of this frozen state and finally step forward.
“Hello!”
Wow. Did your voice actually sound like that?
Clearing your throat you keep moving towards him.
“Hi, can I help you with anything?”
You try to rake your mind to remember everything you’ve seen and heard from Selma to use now, but the moment he looks up, your mind goes blank. He is just as beautiful as he looks in pictures or maybe even more. Unlike on those red carpet photos where he is always dressed in designer suits, now he is wearing a pair of simple pants and a gray long sleeve, his hair is a bit tousled and it appears he is growing his beard out, a bit shaggy, but he makes it look very… hot. That’s all you can say looking at him.
“Oh, hey!” He is sporting a polite smile as he looks up, about to keep talking, but he stops for a moment upon looking at you and he stops.
Everything stops.
It’s as if he is taking you in, you can feel your cheeks heating up, the nervous fidgeting starts again, but you hide your hands behind your back so he doesn’t notice.
“I’m looking for some kitchen stuff,” he then says, hiding his hands in his pockets.
“Great!” you breathe out. “We do have… those.”
You flinch internally, but ignore just how awkward you are in his presence.
You ask him about what he needs specifically as the two of you start walking down the isles and for a moment you think of grabbing the handbook, but that would look awful, so you make a decision on the spot.
You’re gonna just wing it.
What could go wrong? You’ll just pretend like you’re Selma, confident and know everything about the items, you’re gonna say whatever comes to your mind and just… wing it.
All while ignoring how attractive this man is up close. And intimidating. And charming. And…
“I think I want to check out the coffee stuff first,” he suggests and nodding you walk him over to the kitchen items.
“Do you have a coffee machine and you’re looking for some accessories, or…”
“I just got one of those old fashioned moka coffee pots,” he says with a boyish smile. “But I want to get that to the next level, if you know what I mean.”
You do not.
“Of course,” you smile, eyes scanning over the shelves.
Your grandmother has one of those old moka coffee makers, but you have absolutely no idea what else could be used for those, so you just start grabbing things and making up what they are used for.
One after the other, you just keep showing him stuff with no idea what you’re talking about, but the longer you’re talking the more confident you’re growing, especially when he just keeps nodding and humming along to anything you say.
“So… which one are you more interested in?” you ask at the end of your little speech. You look at him and find him already looking at you with a tiny smile curling up the corners of his mouth.
“What can you tell me about those?” he asks, ignoring your question and just moving to another shelf.
He keeps asking about items and you just make up everything as you go. Of course, you know some of the stuff, but you were never really a true chef in the kitchen, so there are way too many items you don’t know that much, but somehow, you’ve gathered enough confidence that even you believe what you say.
Slowly, Harry fills his basket as you move through the store and every time you look at him you catch him already looking at you with the same smile you can’t quite decipher.
“What about those?” he points up at a set of plates on the top shelf.
“Oh, those are so pretty! Let me show you them!” you enthuse and run to grab the ladder from the back.
It’s not the steadiest tool for sure, but you ignore the wobble you feel when you start climbing it.
“Are you sure it’s–”
“It’s fine, don’t worry,” you chuckle, reaching the top step, but your knees are definitely shaking. You focus on grabbing the plates and getting off as fast as possible, but right when you take them off the shelf you already feel yourself losing balance.
But Harry is quick to come to your rescue. One of his hands grabs the ladder to steady it and the other… the other one grabs the back of your thigh to help you hold yourself up. Until then you were shaking because of the ladder, but now it’s definitely because of his firm hold on you, the warmth of his touch and the thoughts that unrelease when you realize just how perfectly his fingers are digging into your flesh.
“You good?” he asks in a deep, husky voice.
“Yeah.” Your voice is barely more than just a whisper as you hold onto the plates as if they could hold you up.
You start moving down on the ladder, but Harry’s hand doesn’t leave your body, it works up on your hips and waist, grabbing onto your elbow as you finally step onto the ground and even then, he is still touching you, his eyes locked on yours as you’re still holding those damn plates. The image of dropping them and pushing up against him flashes through your mind and your knees wobble again when you catch his gaze flickering down to your lips for a second.
“The plates,” you blurt out then. He looks down and a smile stretches across his face.
“They really are pretty.”
“Right?” you let out a breathy laugh.
“Now that you risked your life for them, I guess it’s only fair if I actually buy them.”
Fuck, your heart is about to jump right out of your chest, how is he so smooth?
You gather a few more things and then move to the cash register to ring everything up.
“How long have you been working here?” he asks, patiently waiting for you to finish.
“Um… Do you want the truth?” you ask, with a cheeky smile.
“Yeah.”
“This is my first day,” you admit, just as you finish the scanning and when you look at the amount it all added up to, you almost choke on your own saliva. “Um, your total is 1630.”
For a moment you think he’ll question how it’s so much, but without hesitation he whips out his card and taps it on the terminal.
“First day, huh?”
“You wouldn’t have guessed?”
“Oh, I kind of did,” he chuckles and he starts to help you with putting everything away in bags. “You really should learn what the items are used for.”
Normally you’d be embarrassed that he noticed how much you just made up, but the smile he is gifting you with vanishes all negative feelings and you can actually find it funny.
“I will.”
“Thank you for your assistance,” he smirks, grabbing the bags from the counter. “And if I happen to leave a review about the excellent service, what name should I drop?”
“I’m Y/N,” you say with a sheepish smile. He then sticks his hand out and you take it.
“Harry. It was really nice meeting you.”
“You too.”
With a final wave he turns around, slides his sunglasses back to the bridge of his nose and then walks out of the store. You stand there completely overwhelmed by the experience and you have no idea how much time passes by before Selma barges through the door.
“Hi Darling! How did everything go?” she beams, walking up to the counter where you’re still standing.
“Great!”
“Did anyone come in?”
“Yeah. Harry Styles was just here.” Selma freezes for a moment before looking up at you.
“Harry Styles? As in…”
“Yeah. That Harry Styles.”
“How did it go? Did he buy anything?”
“He spent 1600 dollars on kitchen stuff.”
“Y/N, that’s great!” Selma claps her hands. “Was he satisfied? Could you help him?”
“I think I could,” you say with a knowing smile. “He seemed… satisfied, yeah.”
The first day jitters are luckily gone by the next day, especially because Selma looked at you with so much pride after you told her about your encounter with Harry that you feel like you can’t do anything wrong.
Before lunch Selma asks you to rearrange some stuff in the storage and you’re a bit relieved you don’t have to take any customers for now.
But because of that, you’re not out when one specific person walks into the shop. Again.
Harry enters the store confidently, a smile already on his lips as he looks in the direction of the cash register, but it fades when he only sees Selma, but no sight of you. Selma, on the other hand, becomes ecstatic when she sees and recognizes him.
“Welcome! How may I help you?” she chirps, walking towards Harry, who is still looking around, eyes searching for you.
“Hey, is the… Is the woman who worked yesterday here? Y/N?” Selma stops, surprised.
“Y/N? Uh, yes, but she is busy now, I’m sure I can help you–”
“I want her,” he states.
“She is still training, I’m sure I can–”
“Look,” Harry sighs. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Selma, the owner,” she states proudly.
“Selma, I’m more than happy to buy everything in this store if it means I get to talk to her. How does that sound?”
Selma stares back at him, finally understanding the situation. Her stance changes instantly.
“Let me go get her for you.”
You’re going over your list in the back when Selma appears, her spotless appearance feels odd in the storage room’s setting.
“Oh, hey! I just finished with–”
“I need you outside.”
“What? Why?” Panic washes over you, because you can’t read her face and what could she possibly need you for outside on your second day?
“Just come. Now!” She turns around and heads out, not even checking if you’re following her. Of course you do.
“Selma, what did I–” you start mumbling behind her, but just when you step out and spot Harry at the cash register.
His face lights up the moment he sees you and those damn butterflies start raging in your stomach.
“Harry, you’re here. Again,” you state the obvious.
“I am,” he chuckles and you see Selma walk away from the corner of your eyes.
“How, um–What can I… help you with?” you ask, clearing your throat. Why is he here? Could it be… because of you? Yesterday you definitely spent an awful lot of time daydreaming of the way he was touching you on that ladder and you’d be lying if you said you felt disappointed he just walked out, knowing you might never see him again.
Well, so much for that.
“I forgot to get something yesterday.”
“Oh,” is all you can say, the disappointment snaking back into your gut. He is not here because of you, how could you even think about that?
Harry’s smile widens as he watches your face drop and then he finally continues.
“Your number.”
Your eyes widen and you must look quite funny, because Harry chuckles at the sight of your expression.
“Was this too straight forward?”
“No!” you snap right away, maybe a bit too eagerly. “Not at all.”
“Great, then…”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it over, you type your number in quickly and hand it over. He taps on the screen and a second later your phone starts buzzing in your back pocket.
“Just checking you didn’t give me a pizzeria’s number,” he jokes, making you laugh. “And… now that I’m conveniently here, maybe you can show me some more stuff.”
“What do you need?” you ask as the two of you head down one of the aisles.
“Hmm, how long is your shift?”
“Um, another four hours,” you scoff.
“Then I guess I’m interested in everything. Whatever takes four hours to look at so I can take you out once you’re done.”
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
#harry#styles#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles oneshot#harry styles one shot#harry styles fluff#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurb
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Genius (5) - Supermassive Black Hole
Cairo Sweet x female (G!P) Reader
Summary: It was such a cliché, a reunion she didn’t expect to ever happen, let alone six years after she last saw you. It was supposed to mean nothing, a bit of nostalgia, maybe a brief catching up while waiting for class, it was supposed to be a small wave of nostalgia, not a tsunami that disrupted her entire life. You were her opposite, and as hard as she tried she couldn’t resist your pull.
Story masterlist / First part / Previous Part / Next part
Word count: 4.3k
-I thought I was a fool for no one, ooh baby, I'm a fool for you-
Why did she push you away when you were kids? She thought that would make her parents love her, that being more like them would make them proud of her, make them pay attention to her. Eleven-year-old Cairo wanted their love so desperately she decided to push away what she had to try and obtain what she might get. Why did that… why did that sound familiar all of a sudden?
But she couldn’t tell you any of that, not because she couldn’t admit it to herself, no, she could, she understood why she did it. She didn’t want to admit it to you. Because, sure, she could tell you the reason, but you might ask for more, and then she might have to tell you that you were on her mind all these years. That she missed you so much, that she wanted to see you. And then what? What realization would she have to face if she gave you the answer you sought? So, she remained silent, masking the apology she wanted to utter with defiance in her eyes.
“This is ridiculous,” you gave up, sighing out of frustration and just walked away. You walked away from her this time, and she felt like an invisible hand was squeezing her heart, threatening to pop it like a balloon.
But she didn’t call out to you, she didn’t say anything, she just watched you go.
~X~
She couldn’t focus that night, not on writing, not on anything Winnie was saying, she was just lost in her own thoughts. None of them made sense, there wasn’t any order, or logic to them, they were random, unorganized, and she hated it.
“What’s on your mind?” Winnie’s voice eventually did reach her, not quite piercing through the chaos of thoughts in her head, but it did reach her.
“Nothing,” she sighed, trying to focus on the girl. “Everything. I don’t know,” it felt like her mind was pulling quotes from dozens of books at the same time, mixing them together and creating a mess she couldn’t make sense of.
Winnie pupped the lollipop out of her mouth with a resounding pop. “Is it Mr. Miller? You’ve spent some time with him now, how’s the seduction going?”
Cairo remained silent. A lingering meaningful gaze here, not moving her hand when he occasionally put his hand on it. Leaning in just a bit closer than necessary when he lit her cigarette. It was a dance, on that felt forbidden, and she could see the shift in his own eyes. He was looking at her, nothing vulgar quite yet, but he was looking.
“It’s. going,” she chose not to share more than that, she started it, she wasn’t a coward, she would finish it.
Winnie remained silent. “You don’t look happy about that. Is it Y/N?”
Winnie was being too perceptive, but Cairo imagined she wasn’t doing a good job hiding it, as she felt the corners of her mouth twisting downward at the mention of you.
“Do you like her?” Winnie persisted, getting up from her spot on Cairo’s bed and moving to sit next to her. “Cairo, if you want her you need to stop what you’re doing with Mr. Miller,” she didn’t even wait for confirmation.
“Weren’t you the one talking about wagyu beef? Older men harvesting virginity and all that?” and now she was telling Cairo to give up on Miller and go to you?
Winnie rolled her eyes. “That was different, that was before I realized you had a thing for biker girls,” Winnie tried to joke, to nudge her and get her to laugh or at least smile. “Okay, one biker girl, the point stands, I you want her, like really want her just go for her. Forget wagyu beef.”
Did she want you? Was that what she wanted to turn your relationship into? And if it didn’t work out where would that leave your friendship? Did the fact that he noticed her more than anyone else ever did really mean so little? Now that everything was moving, when all he likely needed was just the right circumstances?
“Cairo, this is changing you,” Winnie kept talking, trying to stop what she set in motion unknowingly filling Cairo’s head with thoughts that weren’t there before, the thoughts of her first time not being painful, the idea that she could get that with someone older, and now she was trying to take it back.
“It is changing me,” she admitted, and she knew she was changing, she had the idea she now desired, a madman’s love, a love so passionate it could not be contained, a love so strong it would bring her to ruin, a love that would eclipse any other she felt or would ever feel.
Winnie grabbed Cairo’s phone and before Cairo could even register what was going on Winnie had unlocked it. “What are you doing?” Cairo demanded, getting up to go after Winnie as she began pacing around the room.
“Getting Y/N’s number.”
“Stop it,” Cairo demanded, grabbing Winnie’s forearm just as she sent the number to herself.
Winnie’s eyes widened and for a moment Cairo wondered how mad did she have to look to make Winnie look at her like she was now. Worried, and even a bit afraid.
“Don’t you dare call or text her,” she ordered, her voice shaking as she did. Winnie couldn’t contact you, she just couldn’t. She wasn’t allowed to.
“Okay, I won’t,” she relented and Cairo finally let go of her forearm and snatched her phone.
Cairo started all of this. She was seducing her teacher. She was going to experience something, she was going to get her madman’s love.
~X~
Another Monday, another shitty way to start your week with Miller’s damn class.
“Censorship creates a vicious cycle, we’re taught from young age to accept certain norms, the rights and wrongs of society. It’s the death of writer’s ideas, and thus the reader’s ideas as well. It’s taking away the freedom of thought and speech,” he droned on, stopping by Cairo, the back of his hand brushing against her arm.
“They are separate,” you spoke without raising your hand, and he took a few steps back to take a look at you.
“Not to a writer, to a writer the thoughts become words on the page, they are given a form, and not in this context. When we are taught from young age how to think it becomes intricately connected to the way we express ourselves,” he explained his reasoning and you felt Cairo’s eyes on you.
“Thoughts are private, we cannot be held accountable for thinking, it is the absolute freedom that cannot be taken away, precisely because no one can be sure of what we think. Speech is, as you said, a thought that’s given a form, written, spoken, or expressed in another way. It is a right, and a responsibility,” you leaned forward, your hands resting on the desk, open, relaxed, you had no need to move them.
“To conform to the norms of society?” he challenged, and you gave him a hollow laugh, turning away from both him and Cairo for a moment.
You looked back at him, eyes filled with fierce defiance. “Please, if that was the case you’d be teaching a much smaller class. The society is meant to be critically observed, changed in response to injustice,” you stated.
“And thus, censorship should be seen as an issue, because it is used to cover the injustices,” Miller leaned back against the table. “Just think of how many women had to publish their works under a pseudonym, or how often works that even implied anything outside of societal norms had to be edited to conform to those norms.”
“You are equating rights of entire groups with ideals of a bygone era?” you raised an eyebrow, hardly believing what you were hearing.
He raised his hand in defense. “Certainly not, but-“ he paused, collecting his thoughts. “But, censoring of those ideals of the, as you said, miss L/N, bygone era, takes away our ability to judge them for ourselves. To start a conversation.”
“So, your idea is mere discussion?” you held back a laugh.
“Of course,” he had the guts to say after how he’s been acting with Cairo.
“Yet every idea, no matter how pure, taken to an extreme can be twisted, corrupted until the very basics of what made it good no longer apply, and such corruption needs to be removed,” you weren’t backing away, you ignored the looks of the handful of students that got interested in the conversation, you ignored Cairo’s piercing gaze.
“Every? Freedom of speech included?” he asked. “It has been said that one man’s vulgarity is another’s lyric. And it is one of the highest forms of hubris to assume one person gets to decide what it right and wrong and enforce it on others,” he crossed his arms over his chest, shielding himself once more.
“You sure you have the right to speak of that? Teacher?” you bit your tongue, refusing to let your emotions get the better of you.
The tension in the classroom rose to nearly unbearable, his defensive posture, his eyes, filled with surprise at being all but accused, wandering from you to Cairo
The bell rang breaking the tension and making the students get up to leave. You collected your things and stepped outside, sighing as you did so.
“Y/N,” a fairly cute, blonde girl you shared a couple more classes with, Emily, called out to you and quickly caught up with you before you could get out of the class. She held a pencil you let her borrow on Friday in her hand. Oh, you actually forgot about it. “Here, thanks again for letting me borrow it,” she smiled a bit shyly at you and tucked a strand of her hair back.
You smiled back and took the pencil. “Don’t mention it, Emily,” you put the pencil inside your bag.
“We’re heading in the same direction, wanna go together?” the girl offered, and you shrugged, seeing no harm in doing so.
“Sure,” she was nice and you had no reason to be hostile toward her.
~X~
“Keep glaring and you’ll make her combust,” Winnie teased as Cairo glared at the girl as she was walking away from the classroom.
“If only,” she grumbled, annoyed. Who did that girl think she was, taking your attention after what happened in the class.
“Cairo, could you come by after classes?” she heard Miller asking once only her and Winnie could hear him.
Cairo looked inside, to where you just sat and narrowed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I made plans,” she decided, she certainly wasn’t in the mood to play any seduction games.
He looked surprised. “Right, of course,” he stammered and Cairo just nodded her goodbye. The blonde girl was no longer in her line of sight when she turned once again.
“You’re so jealous,” Winnie laughed, and that was the last drop, she made her way outside the school, ignoring Winnie’s protests.
She wasn’t jealous. What did she have to be jealous of? A blonde that met you maybe a month ago? As if that could compare to what you and Cairo had. The key word was had, as her brain cruelly reminded her. You no longer had that. Without thinking much, she dropped her things off at her house and went into the forest to clear her mind.
What were you thinking? Speaking like that in the class? What made you speak up for the first time in Miller’s class and well, that was one way to speak up for the first time. Ideals of a bygone era. She figured she was seduced by them. By Winnie’s talk of older man harvesting virginity. It wasn’t just that though. It all went back to madman’s love, for how mad would someone her age have to be to love in such a way.
Was it the way Miller touched her that made you react? It was just a brush of the back of his hand, intentional, no doubt, as it remained there, but by now she was used to the closeness. They sat side by side on the bench smoking, and it was certainly physically closer than just the back of his hand. But it still, maybe set you off, just like his attempt to hold her hand did last week.
And then, as she walked, as she went deeper into the forest, as she went to the exact same place where the rose bush she found all those years ago grew and was crushed was, as she went to the place she didn’t go to in years, she froze. Again. a rose bush. Again, an old tree fallen over it.
It was happening again, the same image, the same scene, the same outcome, haunting her, repeating again and again and driving her into madness. She had no one this time. Not one person who could drag her away. Alone. Meant to be crushed like the lone rose bush in the forest. Meant to be crushed by the old, by her parents, her teachers, her village, suffocating in a place fit only for ghosts, an unforgiving place that refused to let anyone be different. To be crushed by the place she was abandoned in and the people in it.
Her nails dug into the dirt beneath her, and she just now noticed she dropped to her knees down to the harsh forest floor. Maybe she should just stay there. She felt too weak to get up anyway, too dizzy and numb at the same time, her breathing too erratic, uneven, panicked. Yet all she could focus on was the scene that kept repeating.
~X~
You were finally close to the end of Verne’s book, just another ten or so pages, but you felt sleepy, and the rain softly falling wasn’t helping you stay awake. Your phone suddenly buzzed, breaking your concentration and making you groan as you leaned your head back. Whoever was calling you wasn’t giving up, that was for sure. So, to spare both you and the caller you grabbed your phone, noticed it was a number you didn’t recognize, and picked up.
“Hello?” you said.
“Hey, is Cairo with you?” it took you a moment, but you recognized it was Winnie, her voice laced with worry and clearly on the verge of panic.
You immediately sat up. “No. Why?” you asked, you didn’t have a reason to worry just yet. Maybe she just got too into one of her books.
“I’m at her place, it’s unlocked, her bag is here, but she’s nowhere to be found, and we were supposed to hangout tonight," Winnie told you and you could hear her pacing around.
“Okay, okay, just calm down. Let’s just go and look for her, do you want the forest or the village?” you were grabbing your biker jacket, since it was waterproof, as well as the keys of your house and already heading outside.
“The village, and thanks, I appreciate this,” Winnie said.
“Of course. Call if you find her before me,” you said and when she agreed you hung up and tucked your phone into your pocket and ran into the forest. You had to hurry, it was getting dark, and the rain made the ground slippery, the more it took you to cover the forest the higher the chances of getting injured, or plain and simple lost would be. So, you ran, as carefully as you could through the forest, yelling Cairo’s name.
‘Where are you?’ you shouldn’t have parted the way you did. ‘Why can’t you answer your phone?’ you should have tried harder to get to her. ‘Are you okay?’
“Cairo!” you shouted as loud as you possibly could, your yell getting swallowed by the trees and the rain.
Somehow, for the reason you couldn’t explain, you remembered her sob from all those years ago, you remembered that sound, the reason for her sorrow back then, that tree and the bush of wild roses and you just took off, running in that direction as if somehow drawn to that location.
~X~
Her body trembled, physically she felt cold, but deep down she didn’t feel anything. Her body felt like nothing, like the least important part of her, like it no longer mattered what happened to it. Her mind and soul were what was important, and the rain couldn’t hit those. The loneliness did, however. It froze her mind and soul in a way cold rain and the darkness that slowly consumed everything around her could never accomplish.
She desired a madman’s love, the ruins of it, the decay, she desired to be entirely consumed by it, yet here she was, not only without a madman’s love, but without love in general.
“Cairo!” her mind must have been playing tricks with her, she heard you shouting her name, and that just couldn’t be true. Why would you be there?
“Cairo!” this time it was closer, and her eyes widened as she caught glimpse of you in the distance, just narrowly missing her. Another old tree, just waiting to fall between you two.
“Y/N!” she cried out, calling after you and trying to get up, but her legs had gotten too numb to get up so abruptly and she stumbled, digging her palms into the muddy ground beneath her. There was no way you heard her, you were too far, you just narrowly missed her, she was once again too late to reach out to you.
Same mistakes. Same haunting images. Everything was happening again.
“Cairo,” she heard footsteps, running toward her and raised her hand, seeing you, your hair and face wet from the rain, water dripping from your jacket and relief washing over your expression. “Are you okay?” you ran up to her and without a moment of hesitation grabbed her shoulders, pushing her up slightly and looking her over. “Cairo, hey, hey, answer me!” your gloved fingers moved her hair from her face and she couldn’t take it anymore, she just fell into your arms, hugging you and clinging to you. She took several deep breaths, finally feeling like she could properly breathe.
“How did you know?” she asked, judging by how wet your hair was you were out for a while.
“Winnie called me,” you whispered as you softly rubbed circles on her back. “Give me a second,” you pushed her away for a moment and she felt what little warmth she regained fading away. You took your jacket off and put it over her shoulders.
“Y/N, wait,” she tried to argue, she didn’t want to let you get a cold, but you just pressed a finger over her lips.
“Don’t argue. Can you walk?” you asked as you helped her get back on her feet.
Cairo nodded, this was already enough, you were already doing more than she could have asked for, but even as she began walking back home you kept her close, supporting her and holding up some of her weight as she leaned onto you for support.
And then, just as the two of you got twenty feet away from where Cairo was kneeling, a lightning struck the old tree and both of you flinched as it cracked and fell, right to where you and Cairo just were. You just saved her life, because there was no way she would have moved if you didn’t arrive.
She felt you freezing and she wondered what was going through your mind. Did you realize what would have happened to her if you were even a minute late, and in the way you pulled her closer she felt that you did think of that scenario just now. Of finding her underneath a fallen tree.
~X~
You called Winnie to tell her you found Cairo and that you brought her back home as she was taking a warm shower. You considered leaving, but maybe it wasn’t the best idea to leave Cairo on her own right now, so, you stayed, a towel you borrowed from Cairo hanging from your neck. You needed to change, but you weren’t sure you could go back home and come back here before Cairo was done.
You were waiting in her room and you noticed how much darker it got, less light seeped through the windows than when she was a child. Well, people changed, and you guessed seven years was a long time. As you sat on the chair you brought up from the kitchen and waited you caught sight of a familiar book. ‘Around the World in Eighty Days’ sat on the table next to a book written by Henry Miller, ‘Under the Roofs of Paris’ the duality of those choices didn’t escape you, but you didn’t move, you weren’t about to stoop to Miller’s level and look through Cairo’s stuff.
A few minutes later, she came out, dressed in her pajamas and with a towel around her head. “You should change,” she noticed now that the shower cleared her thoughts a bit. “And take a shower, the rain was dirty,” she said it as if she expected you to do it at her house.
“I will, I just wanted to check if you were okay and I’ll leave,” you told her, already getting up. She looked fine now, but you still looked her over, you didn’t notice anything wrong, any injury or anything that she needed help with.
“Do it here? Please, you were out looking for me, and the rain is falling even harder now,” at least the part about the rain was true, the weather was getting worse. “I’ll find some clothes that fit you,” she promised, and you nodded with a sigh.
“Okay,” you saw her smile and you couldn’t argue anymore.
When you stepped into the shower you just let the water wash over you, to erase the image of the tree falling right where Cairo was, to wash away the worry and fear as you ran through the forest, desperately looking for her. Everything turned out fine, in the end and you found yourself no longer caring about the answer to your question.
It no longer mattered why Cairo pushed you away, what was happening now mattered much more, and you weren’t going to waste it just because she didn’t want to give you your answer.
When you stepped outside in the shirt and trousers she gave you that were a bit too big for her, you saw her already in her bed, and she turned to look at you, her still slightly damp hair sticking to her skin. “Hey, how are you doing?” you approached her and knelt next to her, only now realizing how stupidly tall her bed was.
Cairo looked at your hand, resting on the edge of her bed and then at your eyes. “Better now. Thank you for looking for me.”
You shook your head. “Don’t thank me for that, you asshole. I’ll scold you properly later,” you promised, luring out another smile from her.
“Do you want to read together?” she asked, moving to the side as if offering her bed to you.
Maybe it wasn’t the smartest decision, but you nodded, getting in the bed next to her and getting comfortable as she opened the book that somehow became the most tangible reminder of your past. You settled down and took a deep breath, and you realized your mistake, as Cairo’s scent invaded your senses.
“Can I start?” she asked and you nodded, focusing only on her voice as she began reading the book.
~X~
Cairo woke up around noon, alone in her room, and more importantly, she missed school. Almost two whole days, that was strange for her, yet she doubted anyone would notice. She wondered when you left, well, she woke up when you got up this morning. The two of you fell asleep about two-thirds into the book. Nothing happened during the night, neither of you subconsciously moved like books so often depicted, she didn’t wake up tangled up with you, or holding your hand, or anything. You just happened to sleep three feet apart because her bed was so ridiculously big.
She stretched a bit and got up and as she opened her window she heard a sound she wasn’t used to coming from her backyard. She looked out through the window and saw you moving some pots she didn’t recognize. “Y/N?” she called out and her heart skipped a beat when she saw you looking up.
“Come down here! I want to show you something!” you yelled, a wide grin on your face.
“Give me ten minutes!” she told you and rushed to the bathroom to get ready. She couldn’t remember the last time she rushed this much to get changed and ready for the day, it certainly didn’t happen since she was a child and had all day free to play with you.
She barely even remembered the last time she purposely went to her backyard, yet here she was, walking over to you as you finished whatever you were doing. When she stopped next to you she saw the pots, five of them, filled with earth, and stems from the wild rose bush stuck in them.
“If I did everything correctly at least one should sprout roots,” you said as Cairo, speechless for once, looked between you and the roses. “I noticed the crushed bush, so I went back after getting everything I needed,” you said softly.
Cairo felt a tear sliding down her cheek as she jumped into your arms, ignoring any dirt that may have gotten on you. All the unwanted tension between the two of you seemed to fade away as you got over your surprise and hugged her back.
Taglist: @deimaisgail @bee-keeping @marvelous-disaster @jmwetterlund @tekanparadiae
@alexkolax @ioveyouyouloveme @aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh @autorasexy
#cairo sweet x female reader#cairo sweet x reader#cairo sweet#miller's girl#jenna ortega x reader#x reader#x female reader
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Oh god I promised myself no bell’s hells meta until c3 ends but my brain is turning the “can she be trusted?” line over and over like chicken at the shawarma shop. because there are layers to that.
more under the cut because i let this run away from me:
so first off, there's the obvious: dorian initially seems to start to address the whole group, everyone who's left in the inn room, but turns and just locks eyes with orym when he asks. orym, who of everyone has the most reason to be biased against laudna right now. orym, who just got into a fight with laudna over the sword that killed both of them and orym's husband and father-in-law. that's who dorian thinks to ask, because he trusts orym not to let his judgment be clouded.
dorian first saw orym again after months of being separated, like, three days ago, and despite how much orym has visibly changed in those months, dorian doesn't hesitate to believe that orym will still be objective. he trusts that orym will be the one to look at this situation and tell him the truth.
because dorian has experience with orym telling him the truth. dorian knows firsthand how willing orym is to shuck his personal feelings in favour of what's true. dorian just saw what he could have become, had orym not stepped in to stop him taking the circlet of barbed vision. he owes the fact that he's alive and beholden to no gods to orym's willingness to be rational and objective in a situation involving a powerful magical item. by his own admission, "i wouldn't be here without you."
so of course dorian trusts him right now.
and there's something to the exclusion of the others, with that. dorian doesn't look to fearne and orym, although that would make sense because he's known the two of them the longest. he doesn't look to chetney, who's proven to be able to get a handle on this with the scream needle compromise. he doesn't look to ashton, who's been extremely levelheaded through this whole mess. he looks at orym, exclusively. he is asking orym, exclusively. not the group, although everyone decides to jump in to answer and then imogen comes through the window to complicate the matter. just orym.
dorian is the kind of person with a lot of potential for darkness in him. he hides it well because he's also deeply kind and friendly, but it's always been there. he's just been through something massively traumatic, and that was after the original circlet conflict back in exu prime. he had his alignment forcibly changed from good to neutral. but even after all he's gone though, orym's alignment is still good.
as much as orym doesn't want to be a leader and prefers to be a protector and follower, he does very well in situations where he takes on an amount of responsibility. when he's in some level of control over a situation, he takes to it naturally. he's a very good babysitter to his gaggle of weirdos. the "can she be trusted?" might have been an attempt on dorian's part to give orym a bit more control here. to reassure him that regardless of anyone else's feelings—regardless of how laudna's reaction might have affected him—orym deserves to be trusted, and he can make a decision that dorian will trust.
back in exu and all the way into early c3, dorian and orym slotted into a sort of parental position in their groups. watching over the crownkeepers' clothes when they went skinny dipping in exu. orym repeatedly steering everybody away from bad ideas. matt even described dorian leaving dariax in zephrah in 4sd as "dad just going out to get cigarettes." there's always been that underlying sense of "we are two of a pair" with dorian and orym. not to say that either of them don't see the others as adults, but they do have that rapport of being the babysitters in the gaggle of weirdos.
that kind of bond is just part of their dynamic. but especially in light of what's been happening while they were separated, and then what happened between them earlier that evening, "can she be trusted?" is a reminder of that bond. orym's been lonely, by his own admission, and one of the secrets he divulged at nana morri's was "i really miss dorian." he broke down crying during his last message through the sending stone, and then again on the bench not a few hours before this whole incident went down.
dorian came to comfort him. he flat-out said to orym's face "i'm here now." he reminded orym that he needs to rely on other people, that he can't always be the one saving everybody else. he gave orym the room to not be the strong one, and told him he has that room because dorian's there to support him. they can be two of a pair again.
he knows orym's been feeling like he can't do anything, like he had to resort to what he stopped dorian from doing with the circlet. and so dorian both gives him a choice to make, something to do, and shows him that he still trusts him unconditionally. "can she be trusted?" also means "i trust you" and "i'm here with you" and "this is how we've always been."
we know from liam in 4sd that orym has feelings for dorian that he's not sure are reciprocated. but even regardless of the romantic element here, dorian and orym have always had a partnership. they have always been two of a pair. the sequence of events leading to "can she be trusted?" is a perfect microcosm of he relationship between the two of them. it's just incredible.
#critical role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari#dorym#bells hells#cr meta
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Don't be a stranger! Pt. 8
Part 7 Part 8
Simon "Ghost" Riley x FemReader
Content: Neighbors AU, fluff, developing relationship, non-con drug use, light angst
Simon instantly felt his heart drop, “What do you mean she’s gone?” His voice was cold as he spoke. If Johnny is saying what he thinks he’s saying then someone is going to die today, that Simon can guarantee.
Before Soap can respond though a gunshot rings out. "Soap, where are you? What's happening?"
"We're at the small grocery store in town! Things here went from zero to hundred real quick; Beads is nowhere in sight."
Right away Simon is moving; he has to get to you. "What the hell were you two doing off base?"
"Just- I'll explain when-," Soap suddenly pauses , "Price?!"
"Soap, go 4 aisles down; Gaz is there with Beads." Price's voice suddenly cuts through the phone.
Price? Gaz? What were they doing there? An immediate uneasy feeling rises in his chest. This whole thing wasn’t making sense to him.
He could vaguely hear Soap speaking to Price. The only thing he could make out was the clear anger and confusion in his voice. Moments later Price’s voice comes through clear as day, he can only assume that Price took Johnny’s phone.
“Ghost, stay where you are.”
“Price what the fuck is happening?” Simon growled.
“Ghost.” Price took a deep breath before continuing, “It was all a set up. We planned for the possibility of Beads being targeted and taken once stepping off base. They did exactly what we thought they would do.”
He couldn’t fucking believe what he was hearing, “You used her as bait! Did you keep her in the dark too, or was I the only one that wasn’t given the truth?”
“You, Beads, and Soap weren’t told anything. The situation here is under control though now, and once we're back we can discuss more. Laswell is already waiting for you in the main meeting room; she’ll explain everything a bit more to you.”
Simon hung up. He didn’t want to hear anything more from him. If you’re hurt in any way there will be hell to pay. This whole plan shouldn’t have happened; much less with him not being told about it.
He almost wants to disobey Price, and go find you right now. The only thing stopping him is also wanting answers for what is happening. As much as he wants to be with you he knows that you're mostly likely on your way to him right now. So he turns and storms his way to Laswell.
Once reaching the meeting room he gives a sharp knock, but doesn't wait for an answer before opening the door anyway. Laswell is sitting already with a serious look on her face. "Ghost, sit down. Let's talk about everything calmly."
Calm was the last thing he was feeling right now. All he wanted to do was yell; yell at everyone involved with making this plan. "Explain then." Simon sneered before sitting right across from her.
"On Monday Soap and Beads approached Price about leaving base to go to the grocery store. Beads apparently wanted to make a special meal for you, and Soap said that he would gladly accompany her."
"A Russian terror group broke into both of our flats. They know that she is connected to me. Leaving base shouldn't have even been considered." Simon argued back.
"She's been here for almost a month, Ghost. There has also been no other signs of them attempting to get to you."
Anger filled Simon's veins, "Of course there hasn't been any signs! They've been waiting for us to mess up, and this, sending her out there, was what they were waiting for."
Laswell doesn't react much to his anger; only giving him an unimpressed look, "We had no way of knowing that though, and we couldn't have kept her on base forever. Which is why when Price asked about what I thought about letting her leave I agreed, but not without planning for the possibility that they would attack her."
"Why wasn't I informed then?"
"We knew that you wouldn't have agreed to it. You would have gone with her in full gear; which would have only brought more attention to yourselves."
"And the reason for not telling Johnny then; the one who would have been right by her side if he had known?"
"Soap is amazing at what he does, but he is not an actor." That Simon could agree with; which is why he would have much rathered Johnny to be obviously lying to you, then him not there to protect you. “We had a small team following them the entire time. Price and Gaz were watching her the entire time.” He knew Laswell was trying to calm his nerves as much as she could right now. Simon knew though that the only thing that could calm him was seeing you; making sure that you’re alright.
“So Gaz training recruits and yours and Price’s meeting was a lie to keep me unassuming then?” He lets out an almost defeated sigh, “At least tell me she's alright.”
Laswell for the first time doesn’t answer him immediately. She seems to be taking a few moments to assess his emotions before answering, “Price called me before you arrived. She is safe, whole, alive, but she did end up getting hurt. One of the men grabbed her before injecting some kind of sleeping drug into her-.”
It was sudden ding from Laswell’s phone that stopped her from continuing. She took a few minutes to write them a message back before finally turning her attention back to him.
"She's here."
Simon didn't wait to see if she had anything else to say before he was standing and walking out of the room to the med bay area. He feels guilty; he knows that he had no way of helping you avoid this since he wasn't told of the plan. You had been there though because of him; you had apparently wanted to do something special for him.
If he could he'd go back and tell you that just being around him is all he needs because you are special to him.
He's vaguely aware that Laswell is following him. Simon isn't interested in speaking to her anymore though. The only thing that matters is making sure you're ok with his own eyes; everything else can wait.
Which is why he immediately goes to just walk past Price who was clearly waiting for him in front of the med bay doors.
"Ghost." Price puts his hand on Simon's shoulder stopping him from entering.
Simon knows that he could break Price's hold and continue on his way; he stops though, willing to give him one chance to explain his piece. "Price."
“I know you’re upset, Ghost, and you honestly should be. Believe me though when I say that we were watching her the entire time. She got hurt, yes, but there was no way I was going to allow them to leave that building with her.”
He trusts Price, trusts him with his life. Simon also knows that Price wouldn’t lie straight to his face about something like this, “I want to be included from this point forward. I don’t care if you think I’ll disagree. I need to be involved when it comes to her.”
“I promise.” Price says with sincerity, “Now would you like to see her? She’s being taken care of right now; we can go to her room if you want to.”
Simon doesn’t say anything else, only nods his head. The sooner he can see you the sooner he can finally breathe again.
Laswell during all of this had been silently typing away on her phone. "John, Ghost, I'll leave you two here. The men from the grocery store are ready for questioning. I'll call on either of you if needed. Hopefully this can end the whole situation," she pointedly looks towards Simon now, "You and your friend will be able to walk freely if so." She then turns and walks down the hall away from them.
Placing a hand on Simon's shoulder, Price directs them back to the doors, "Let's go."
Price led them inside down the white sterile halls of the med bay till they reached your room. “Are you ready to go inside?”
Without answering he pushes past and into the room. Then there you were, lying down asleep in a standard hospital bed. A doctor was also there standing next to you writing some things down on her clipboard.
“Ghost, this is Dr. Withers, she has been the one taking care of her.”
The doctor gives them both a nod, “She’s doing well. We’ve already done a blood test, and nothing except the obvious seems wrong.” Looking down at her clipboard she flips through a couple pages, "It seems they weren't able to inject very much of the drug; she'll be in and out for a few hours, but she should be waking up soon." With that she leaves them alone with you.
In the silence that follows Simon makes his way to your side, sitting down next to you, placing his hand near yours. Price stands at the end of your bed, but his attention is solely focused on Simon. "You really care about this girl don't you?"
"…I love her." He whispered to himself, but it was clear as day for everyone in the room to hear.
Simon couldn't believe that he actually said it. He's been fighting with himself about what he was going to do about it, debating ignoring the feeling all together. In the end though this wasn't something he could run from. He loved you.
“You love me…?” Your gravelly voice calls out.
Note: Ahhhh I finally getting this chapter out! Thank you for reading this far. I also hope you have enjoyed the series as much as I have. The next chapter will most likely be the last update on this.
Also a special thank you to @nexthyperfix for beta reading this chapter for me!
Taglist: @nexthyperfix @yourdaydreamerfan @tf141gloryhole @just-pure-trash @definitelynotaclown
@141tfsan @arminarlertssword @openup-yourmind @evie-119 @v1x3n
@whos-fran @trcyyyyy @azkza @kaoyamamegami @yyiikes
@leryg0 @pansexualhailstorm @trulovekay @kdidgg @ane-sthesie
@zhongtar @shinebright2000 @blackhawkfanatic @cmbghost @prozacprinc3ss
@shizukunora
#x reader#task force 141#simon riley x reader#call of duty#simon ghost riley#fem reader#female reader#ghost x reader#john price#john soap mactavish
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0 Days Since [Part 1] (Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader)
WC: 872
Warning: Self-harm, angst, slight miscommunication
Reader overheard something that sets them spiralling.
A drag of metal, the brief sting silencing the screams in your brain to a mocking hush; this day wasn't supposed to end this way.
You watch the bead of blood enlarging on the inflicted line. The ghost of its ancestors pale in the background.
No, you were doing so well.
To your left, a smashed cupcake, icing smeared on the linen of your bed.
One year.
You had been clean of your bad coping mechanisms for almost one year today, and it was supposed to be a day for you and Ghost to celebrate.
He'd been so patient with you, because he'd been through the same self-loathing you were in back when you'd just met. Helped you as you pulled yourself out of it. Provided the rope and taught you the best way to climb up and out.
Maybe these past few weeks, you weren't at your best. A mission not going to plan tends to lead to that.
Lives lost, haunting screams; the face of a woman clawing at your arms, begging you to save her from the fatal gunshots all over her frail body.
It was too much too fast, and you might have spiraled a bit too hard.
Just drinking. Not the cutting.
Today, you were determined to shed all of the harmful coping mechanisms you'd learned to lean on since you were a teenager.
No more drinking. No more smoking. No more cutting.
For him.
Simon.
Because you wanted to have a long enough life—barring mission fatalities—to spend with him.
The cupcake in hand, you took light steps towards the mess hall so you could tell him of the news—that you were one year clean.
He was talking to Soap. So you paused, not wanting to bother them.
Eavesdropping. Or not. They were talking in a communal space.
"How's she?" Soap asked him as he shoveled food into his mouth.
The area was busy, but not noisy enough that you couldn't make out what they were talking about.
You.
"She's okay. Surviving."
You smile. It's all thanks to him. This cupcake, it's for him, a little symbol of victory; both in your lives and relationship.
"Good lad," you heard Soap gave Simon a good hard pat on his back. Decided to give them time to talk as you sat at the bench just outside the mess hall.
Then, a sigh.
"It's too hard sometimes, Johnny. Feels like I'm pulling them out with an oil-slicked rope. Tried and tried only to-"
The cupcake cradled in your hands tilted. Almost falling off your thighs. What Simon said next, you couldn't hear, the ringing in your ears overtaking your senses.
Were you that hard to deal with? Too needy? Too much?
You loved Simon, and of course, you would always need him in your life. It just never crossed your mind that you might be needing him more than he does you, that you're a parasitic vine choking him off the nutrients he needed to flourish.
"It's how it always is, L.T., you love them, you gotta try."
"Wish it weren't so damn fucking hard," Simon answered, "sometimes I think to myself if it's all worth it."
A painful sob threatened to tear its way out of you.
You ran, swift, away from foot traffic, away from the mess hall, from the realisation that you were a burden to the last person you want to be one to.
"Lean on me, darling," he'd told you. Said that he'll take care of all your problems while you just focus on living, on finding yourself again. Your reluctance was swayed off bit by bit because of his words and actions—their unwavering persistence a testament to his care.
He said he loved you. Three months ago.
Is he going to take it back?
Was that even true, or just a pacifier, your carrot on a stick to help you crawl out of your hole?
0 days since your last incident.
One line, two. Was trying to get better even worth it when the ruby liquid sang lullabies with every drop you granted freedom to? You could focus on the way they beaded, the gentle flow, the fall in slow motion before the floor below you was dirtied by red.
It was either of the two that your body had always resorted to, tears or blood. When you cry, your insides feel like they're shredded to millions of different pieces, but that was normally the healthier of the two. But you're not going to cry while your fellow soldiers were still awake and could hear you at any moment.
This, this silenced not only your thoughts, but the way you released it too. Hurting yourself never fails to make you numb, hazy. It's a feeling you seek a lot, thus your habit. Simon told you it's better to cry. To do it on his shoulder.
A burden.
Three, four. New ones welcomed by the old , a ritual of pain dancing around the fire of emptiness. If you truly wanted to get better, you'd already have your razors thrown away, and perhaps this was what Simon meant by too much.
And then there were tears, anyway.
You will never get better, will you?
"Love?"
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15. Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'cause I've built my life around you
Masterlist - Previously - Next
Chapter soundtrack: Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
You were a bundle of nerves, barely able to sleep that night, too busy mentally preparing scenarios about all the ways meeting Charles’ family could go wrong. You hadn’t even dared to move during the night, scared of waking up your boyfriend who was sound asleep by your side. He needed every bit of sleep he could get. So, as soon as the sun had started to rise, you had left the bed and gone on a run along the harbor, enjoying the peace and quiet there.
It felt nice to be able to sort out your thoughts on your own, trying to find a sense of belonging, a new purpose in life, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of failure. It was a tough pill to swallow. You knew it was your fault, you knew that you shouldn’t have told your boss about your affair with Charles as soon as the first sparks started to ignite between the both of you. You had been a coward, you had been scared to lose everything but in the end, it had happened. Now, you didn’t know where life would take you but also, for the first time in your life you had the opportunity to do things for yourself without the pressure of a lingering promise or without feeling the need to make your parents proud. You could do something for you. You just needed to find what it would be.
When you came back home an hour later, you were surprised to see Charles attempting to prepare breakfast even if the kitchen was looking like a warfield. Pancakes’ batter was spread on the counter but it didn’t prevent Charles to casually smile at you, unbothered by the mess around him.
“I missed you in bed this morning.”
“I woke up early and decided to go on a run.” you explained as you poured yourself a glass of water.
“We could have gone together.”
“I needed to clear my mind. Between my job, or more the lack of, and our relationship made public and now how I’m going to meet your family in less than two hours… It's a lot.” you sighed, sitting on a chair as he handed you a plate of fluffy pancakes, something you weren’t expecting considering the mess in the kitchen, a cup of fruit and a freshly brewed coffee. “I’m scared. I’m terrified, even.”
“Why?”
“What if your mom doesn’t like me? What if your family doesn’t accept me? Because after all, why would they when my own family is rejecting me and pretending I don’t exist….” you gulped, feeling tears prickling behind your eyelids, making you look away. It hurt to admit it out loud and you suddenly felt very stupid.
“Y/N…” he kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his. “My family is not like yours, thankfully. They just want to see me happy and guess what? You make me very happy. That’s all that matters to them.”
You nodded, unable to find the right words to express how much you needed to hear these words. But still, you were barely able to eat anything and when you finally left for the yacht, your legs were nothing but jelly.
Charles briefly stopped at a grocery store to pick up some food while you were waiting for him in the car. You quickly noticed the army of fans who were waiting for him and you watched him taking his time to sign caps and take pictures with everyone. You gulped. How could you have ever thought he was not genuine? You barely noticed people taking pictures of you inside the car, too focused on your boyfriend.
“Hey, mister popular.” you smiled when he came back inside the car, a sheepish smile on his face.
“Sorry… I didn’t think we would get noticed so easily.”
“I suppose I have to get used to that.”
“I’m sorry.” he linked his fingers to yours and drove away from the crowd.
When you arrived at his yacht, you were glad to notice you were the only ones. You helped Charles prepare everything until Charles saw his older brother and his girlfriend arriving, followed by Arthur and Carla as well as Pascale, Charles’ mom. Charles went to greet them, not noticing how your body froze and your breathing became more and more shallow. You gripped to the first chair you found, trying to calm yourself down and praying to not faint in front of them. You closed your eyes, your ears ringing and gulped. It was hot outside, too hot and you barely heard Charles’ voice calling for you before you felt your eyes rolling backwards, your body doing the same.
Waking up, you expected to see the worried face of your boyfriend but instead, it was his mom who was looking at you, a towel soaked in icy water on your forehead. You were inside the yacht, away from the sun and the noise. You could hear muffled voices on the outside. You didn’t know what to say, words begging to come out of your mouth but you didn’t know where to begin. What an amazing first impression you had made. Sensing your distress, pascale put her hand on yours, squeezing it gently.
“You scared everyone out there, darling. How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Water? My son?” she smiled.
“This is not how I planned to meet you…” you stuttered, your voice sore.
“It’s a first meeting to remember for sure. I’m glad you’re okay. Charles told me a lot of things about you.”
“I’m sorry.” you apologized, thinking about how you had treated Charles at first and being sure that his mom knew. “I wasn’t the nicest with your son.”
“Don’t apologize. It makes me happy that not everyone treats him like a god. It’s good for his ego.” she winked. “Of course when he told me you were a journalist I got scared but I'm not one to judge without getting to know you first. and I trust my son… he loves you a lot. ”
“I love him a lot too.”
“I know. No one would make the choice of putting their career at risk for someone if they had no real feelings for them. That's how I know Charles is between good hands, in a happy, loving and healthy relationship. That’s all I want for him.”
She put her hand on your cheek, removing a strand of hair and putting it behind your ear. It wasn’t much, but it had been so long since someone had acted so motherly around you that it was enough to make you cry.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to overstep.”
“You didn’t.” you quickly reassured her. “It’s just… I’m not used to people being affectionate around me.” you briefly explained.
Pascale gave you a tender smile before leaving you to rest. You felt bad about sleeping for a good part of the afternoon while Charles was having fun with his family but around dinner you were feeling much better. You took a deep breath and went out seeing Lorenzo and Pascale preparing the table. You slowly approached as the mother saw you and gave you a big smile.
“Can I do something?” you asked.
“You can sit, we’re done with it.” Pascale replied.
“And I don’t think my brother would appreciate us making you work. I’m Lorenzo, by the way. We didn’t have time to meet.” you saw a glimpse of playfulness in his eyes that made you blush.
Thankfully you didn’t have time to add anything as Charles was walking to you, embracing you, a hand on your cheek, checking for the slightest sign of you being weak or in pain.
“Im’ okay, Charles.” you smiled.
“You sure? How is your head? You tell me if you don't feel good, alright?”
You nodded before kissing him as Arthur, Carla and Charlotte were coming in your directions. As dinner progressed and laughter filled the table, you couldn’t help but notice how they were all close to each other. There was so much love there that it made you think about your own family. You looked down on your fingers and apologized, pretending to need to go to the bathroom. You locked yourself in and looked at your reflection in the mirror. You couldn’t help but feeling like an intruder in this family, you weren’t fitting. And that hurt you so much. You heard a few knocks and Charles’ voice outside. You sprayed some water on your face, to try to make you feel more alive and opened the door.
“You’ve been in there for the past fifteen minutes… I was starting to get worried.”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you?”
It’s just… It’s very stupid. I wasn’t expecting your family to be this… family oriented? It just showed me what a family is supposed to look like and it hit home a bit too close. And it’s not your fault. It’s just a reminder of what I will never have and I wasn’t ready to face it. Luc's death broke my family apart when your dad’s death only brought yours closer. I guess… I’m jealous and sad.”
“I understand you and I didn’t think you could feel like that. I’m sorry.”
“I wasn't expected it either.”
“You know… we can be your new family. I you want.”
Your ride back to the apartment was made in silence. You were tired and despite your little fainting, you had a nice evening. Your conversation with Charles had helped you making you feel less awkward and more at ease around his brothers and mother. You had fun. You even exchanged phone numbers with Carla and Charlotte promising to meet someday soon for a coffee or a shopping session. When Charles finally parked his car and as you were about to leave, he stopped you.
“Do you want to come to Zandvoort with me?” he blurted out, avoiding your gaze and you were almost sure he was blushing.
You bit your lower lip, hesitating.
“It’s going to be weird for me to be in the paddock without a media badge… And that would mean that it would be our first official outing as a couple. It would make things really official.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No… it’s just scary. But at the same time, it would be wrong of me to say that I don’t want to have access to the Ferrari’s hospitality and garage the way I want to.” you cheekily added, making him laugh.
“As long as you promise me to not snoop around.”
“You are asking a lot from me.”
Being on a race weekend without your team, without any interviews to prepare, without your laptop was a foreign feeling, something you were not used to anymore. It was also making you vulnerable, you were not in control of the situation anymore, you had to match your pace to Charles’. You didn’t want to be considered as Charles’ puppy who would follow him around because you had nothing better to do. You were scared to feel bored and out of place, you didn’t want to sit around and wait for him. You wanted to feel useful.
“I promise you, we will find you something to do. Meanwhile, I have a gift for you.” he said, awkwardly standing in front of you.
“Charles… why?”
“Because I wanted to. And because I know that these past few weeks have been tough on you and I just want you to feel loved and cared for…”
“You don’t need to give me anything, I know you love me, you don’t need to prove to me anything.”
“I want to.” he replied, fumbling in his pocket to retrieve a jewelry box and handing it to you. You took it, noticing the blush on his face spreading to his neck. Opening it you almost gasped. It was a thin silver necklace, delicate and simple with the number sixteen made of tiny little diamonds.
“Charles… gosh, it’s beautiful. But… you really shouldn't have…”
“I know but…I wanted you to have something from me when I wasn’t around, so you know that even if I am not right next to you, I’m still with you. It’s cheesy…”
“It’s not. It’s sweet. Can you put it on me?”
You felt his hands shaking around your neck as he placed the jewel around you.
“It’s really beautiful.” you said as he kissed the back of your head, telling you they had to go for the first free practice of the session.
She could see the crowd waiting for Charles to get out of the car, making her gulp and second guessing her decision to follow him.
“I can come back later if you don’t want to attract the attention more than necessary…”
“I don’t want to hide you. Not anymore.” he simply said. “Do you trust me?”
“More than anyone else.”
He nodded and got out of the car before quickly coming to your door to open it and handed his hand for you to take. His grip was firm and you knew that you didn’t have to worry. So, you took a deep breath and you chin high, you walked right next to him as flashes from cameras almost blinded you and screams from the fans were almost making you deaf. But you wouldn’t back down. You were ready.
Author's note: What a pole, what a qualifying session it has been! I'm so happy so let's celerate with this chapter! Daghe Charles!
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I've taken a bit to try and assemble my thoughts of jwct, and frankly I still don't know how to feel. Not in a "oh that was bad" kinda way, but in a "that was life changing how can I move on" kinda way. So I'm gonna do what I do best and just ramble on here, you know me. Spoilers of course.
Overall thoughts:
Holy cow the animation!! Not to say jwcc was ugly, but you can instantly see the budget differences. The lighting was gorgeous and the sequences were great. It was just so clear how much love was poured into every scene, the thought behind every move was so clear.
The story was so engaging and good. I thought I was gonna get tired of the "picking everyone up" trope, but it worked so well. I think the difference is this show knew how to take it's time. Ben and Darius had a few episodes to themselves, then Sammy and Kenji were given time to express their grievances. Hell we didn't even get to Yaz till ep 6 and I loved that. The dinosaurs were great too, and the overall plot was just amazing. I loved how it all slowly enfolded and how it was clear they had only scratched the surface with what they found out.
The voice acting was great as always, but it did kinda make me emotional at first to hear how much Paul had grown up. Getting used to Kenji and Brooklynn's new VA's was kinda odd, especially for Kenji, but by the end I was mostly cool with them.
The characters (and trust I'm gonna talk about all of them individually in a sec) were just superb. Their overall maturity and growth was outstanding, especially seeing how their trauma really effected them all differently. All of their arcs before and throughout the season were simply breathtaking. I think this season might be the best in terms of balance, it handled it's action, humor, and emotional moments so well.
This kinda relates back to the animation, I can't explain it, but they all just felt so much more human this season. Everyone's body language was so fluid and lifelike. They would talk over each other and mumble, they would hunch and roll their eyes and all of this sounds normal, but it really stood out. I think it's safe to say the animators really popped off this season, the direction was so clear this is truly a masterpiece. Also I felt like all of them were so touchy and I loved that so much. Like yes hug, hold hands, grab shoulders, pat on the back, I LOVE.
Characters:
Darius, my god Darius. Of course I've always loved him, he's an amazing mc and he is just so lovable. That being said I generally couldn't get over how much I loved him this season. He blew me away in ways I couldn't have imagined. His grief is so understandable and the way he shifted his ideology on dinosaurs because of Brooklynn was just heartbreaking. The way his character was handled was amazing, and it was wonderful to see that the writers do know how to let the others shine while still showcasing that he is the mc. I was also so in love with how sassy and witty he was, like when did he become so funny? His vulnerable moments were just as good and I loved how they showed his anger and frustration as well. His arc about learning to accept his grief and his regret was so poignant and beautiful. It's clear he needs a shoulder to cry on and yet he still puts everyone first, god I didn't think I could love him this much. He was easily the best character this season, I feel like they FINALLY showcased how amazing he is, just 10/10 no notes they ate.
I was kinda shocked by how goofy Ben was, but man I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. Still can't get over how tall he is, and while I hated his design at first, it's really grown on me now. I really don't get how a lot of people are saying he felt like a shell of himself, cause frankly this season just cemented him as one of my favorite characters ever. He was kind, caring, understanding, humorous, he cracked jokes and messed around, but also got emotional and real. Him being a conspiracy theorist and living out of a van just makes sense, and the way he's the opposite of his germaphobe self now is hilarious. It was also interesting to see him as the meditator since he was the only one that got along with everyone else. He tried to help Darius with Kenji, he tried to give advice to Yaz about Sammy. It was just so lovely to see him so content and yet still himself? His scenes with Bumpy were so sweet and sad I can't stand them. Also I'm kinda obsessed with the fact that he's so big yet sucks at fighting and defending himself...king. I loved his mini arc about almost regressing on his fear, and how he grew from that. Ben ily light of my life, still the goat I fear.
Sammy's whole story just felt so heartbreaking. When they found her on the farm all alone it hurt me so bad. The way her family was her whole world and now they aren't on speaking terms? I hope the writers explain a bit cause I just can't fathom why? And Yaz moved away and she was really all alone. The way she approached her grief and her whole life in denial, and how she refused to accept anything was so heartbreaking. It hurt even worse because despite all of that pain she was still her. She was headstrong, kind, and passionate, for people and for dinosaurs. I did love how they still showcased her flaws and weaknesses. She had a hard time treating Yaz differently, but she also just wanted someone to actually be there for her. It's so clear she's tired and wants to be the one taken care of for once. Sammy stories feels heart wrenching in perhaps a more subtle way than the others. I really loved the direction the writers took her in this season. They showcased so much good and left us wanted more and ugh someone just give her another hug please.
If there's one thing the writers can be consistent on is making me despise Kenji. He was annoying me at first because of how he was approaching things, but he really grew on me by the end. He was this season’s punching bag and it was so heartbreaking. Brooklynn died and he blamed Darius and it's like he couldn’t escape his anger. It's interesting to see how him and Darius secluded themselves in different ways, and the way he still calls their mom? Oh I'm gonna cry. Yes Kenji is mad and he has every right to be, but it's clear his anger is misplaced. The whole scene with his father was so sad for so many reasons. Yes Kenji didn't like his father, but he literally watched him die. His breakdown was so painful to watch. I like how we can see Kenji kinda mature again over the season. It's as if he's relearning that not everything is in his control, and he shouldn't dwell on that. Sometimes his VA sounded too uninterested or nonchalant, which is a shame because the thing about Kenji is he pretends not to care but it's really the opposite. I am intrigued to see where this show will take his journey.
We took a while to get to Yaz, but I'd say it was worth the wait. I liked how this series didn't shy away from talking about her ptsd, and it took it even a step further by exploring peoples ways of coping. It's also interesting to see how fear has driven Yaz and how that has effected her relationships with all of them, but particularly Sammy. She's trying so hard to do better, but healing isn't linear and building a glass house around yourself can only do so much. I really hope they'll let us see how all of this is effecting her next season, because for someone is deathly afraid of dinosaurs this season put her through the ringer. That being said, I think there's no denying the bravery she showed. No matter how terrified she was she was always there for her friends. When Sammy needed her she knew how to calm her down, when her friends needed her help she let her instincts drive her. She even learned to let herself enjoy the moment, adding humor to trying to make the best of things. I feel for Yaz and I want to see her find comfort in her friends again, because she also just needs a hug.
Character: five stage of grief
While writing this I stopped and realized that in a way all of them really represented the five stages of grief regarding Brooklynn and just their life in general. So I wanted to take an interlude to talk about that for a moment.
Denial: Sammy - It's clear that Sammy has been trying to deny anything and everything, if only to pretend all of her problems are nonexistent. She doesn't want to believe that her family won't talk to her, and that Yaz won't either, and that her friend is just gone. Denying makes it all of it easier and so she makes herself busy so she won't even have a second to think about it all because then maybe she'd have to accept it.
Anger: Kenji - He's blaming everyone, especially Darius for Brooklynn's death. He blames the Allosaurus and he blames his father and through it all his anger never dwindles. Eventually it's all too much and he lets his anger become sadness, but it's clear his frustration and aggravation are not exactly gone. He can forgive but still feel mad at his situation and I think that's ok.
Bargaining: Yaz - Her's almost borderlines on denial like Sammy, but I think it's a little different. Because unlike Sammy she thinks everything is ok. She's convinced herself that this dino free island is fool proof and if she hides away like this nothing bad could ever happen. Obviously she comes to find out this isn't true and she has to accept the fact that her reassuring herself can only do so much. She has to face her fears, and boy does she.
Depression: Darius - From the get go we knew Darius wasn't doing too good. He's locked himself away in his bunker, cut off everyone, and had just become obsessed with catching the Allosaurus. Loosing Brooklynn was hard on all of them, but it's clear he took it the worst. It also didn't help that Kenji blamed him so much, so he fell into this hole. It's not the typical signs of depression, but his behavior is so different than before. Old Darius would have never cut everyone off and reduced dinosaurs to simple killers.
Acceptance: Ben - He's perhaps the only one that can speak so plainly about Brooklynns death. He constantly reassures Darius that it wasn't his fault and he's the one that rallies all of them together. His acceptance of her death is what allows him to put the pieces together that someone is after them. Of course he still mourns her, but the difference is he wants to get her justice and make sure all of them are safe as well.
Relationships:
To get the elephant out of the room THANK GOD brookenji broke up. I know they have a lot of shooters but I have and will never support or understand them. They just didn't work and had like zero chemistry. I really hope they stay broken up please writers I can't take it anymore. That being said I was pleasantly surprised Kenji's whole character wasn't just about Brooklynn. Yes she was a big factor, but without her there it's like he could be his own character again. That was always my biggest gripe with s4-s5 brookenji. I couple should not be reduced to their partners, they need to be their own person too.
Yasammy you will always be famous. The two of them were absolutely wonderful this season. Their fight was so warranted and valid and I loved that both of them were right in some ways. It's never black and white and it's up to communication to resolve those issues. The two of them are just so in love, they are actual soulmates like I can't. No notes, I think their relationship is proof that you can balance a couple and the individual. Sammy has her problems, Yaz has her problems, and together they can be a mess, but that's what so wonderful about it. The scene with them after they got out of the van was generally so beautiful I LOVE THEM.
Darius "I was in love with Brooklynn" Bowman....I USED TO PRAY FOR TIME LIKE THESE?? When I tell you I screamed I mean it so bad, I almost fell out of my chair. I know a lot of people aren't a fan, and they think it reduces their friendship, but I disagree. I think Darius still would've been heartbroken, but this just adds a layer. I also love it cause it's just so messy, and I think that makes it feel more real. What do you do if you love your brothers ex? I have been a dinostar defender for years, and I think there's no deny how much they mean to each other. I know he said Brooklynn didn't replicate his feelings but until we see the scene I'm gonna deny that. I think she rejected him because she didn't want him to get hurt in her investigation, that or she doesn't want to hurt Kenji. Let me just say writers you have a chance to get this all back on track PLEASEEEEE do not mess it up I can't take the heartbreak again.
Ben and Darius' friendship was kinda the best thing ever and I wasn't expecting it at all? I know they've had a rocky relationship before but this was so playful and I loved it so much. The way they goofed around and got into trouble, the show couldn't handle them together all season I guess. I also love how tender it was. Ben was so patient with Darius and it was clear he only wanted the best for him. Darius was just as patient with Ben and he helped him through his little paranoia relapse. They were such a good time and a blast to watch like the amount of times the two of them had me busting out laughing was insane.
Sammy and Ben duo oh how I've missed you. Another one I really didn't expect but they were so lovely. I loved how much they messed around yet they also dropped everything to commit a few crimes. Ep five was full of them and I loved it so much. Also the way Sammy constantly defended Ben was so special to me, that girl knew how to throw a punch lmao. Nothing too crazy, but so welcome and sweet. Also the way Ben was terrorizing Sammy on the phone with Yaz, peak cinema.
MIGHT AS WELL KILL ME NOW KENJI AND DARIUS. WHY are they always fighting Kenji don't make me mad. I loved their relationship so much. The way Kenji was so angry at Darius and yet Darius held him so close while he had a breakdown? Might just kms. They friendship is so rocky and real and I love that. I also love how Kenji wasn't angry when Darius said he had feelings for Brooklynn. He just listened and the maturity they both have is insane. I'm terrified of Brooklynn coming back and causing a love triangle, but honestly I'd be fine if they all just stayed friends if that means these two end up alright. When the brothers brother >>>
Ben and Yaz bestfriendism back everyone cheered. The way they still call each other by their last names actually kinda tears me to pieces. I love how Ben offers advice to Yaz even if it's in his own silly way. They're both so gentle and yet so playful with each other I love. I love that Yaz just let's Ben go on his side quests like yeah he's got it. They didn't get that many scenes but I still love them so dearly anyways.
The return of the king, Sammy and Darius. I know they didn't get that much but they were always one of my fav limited screen time duos. The way they constantly comfort each other just pulls on the heartstrings. Like when they just hugged in the back of the van? And when Sammy raced to hug him again in the warehouse? Ohh I love them. And despite it all Darius trying his best to defend Sammy? Save me older sister-younger brother duo save me.
Kenji got very limited time with Sammy and Yaz and I can't wait to see more cause those just iconic duos, I also would love to see more of Darius and Yaz since they also didn't meet till the very end. I really hope S2 (I'm pretending like it's already confirmed) let's us see more of this, especially Kenji and Yaz please I've missed them so much.
Ohhhhh Ben and Kenji. Benji nation we're kinda so back, living off crumbs is better than living off nothing. Ok but in all seriousness their relationship is so sweet. Ben trying to make Kenji see reason in the beginning, then letting Kenji hold Bumpy's egg cause it was clear that's what he needed at the moment. Then Kenji helping Ben when he got hurt. It's clear they speak in actions, not words. I need more of them like actually I've missed my pookies so bad.
Lastly I wanna talk about Yaz, Sammy, and Ben with Brooklynn. Their flashbacks broke my heart, and it also showcased how different their love and grief for her was. THE FACT THAT WE FINALLY GOT B DUO AND IT'S AFTER SHE'S GONE...my heart shattered. I love how funny and chill they were, we were so robbed of this in jwcc I swear. It's also kinda sad because the implication that Ben introduced Brooklynn to dark jurassic which subsequently lead her down the path that got her "killed"...I'm done. Also the fact that they were so casual implies that Brooklynn would constantly visit him at college which is just so sweet? I can't stand them bye. Sammy casually having Brooklynns old jacket tells me Brooklynn used to come over a lot, perhaps more when they were younger. Also Sammy seemed shocked to go in that room so I might be reading into this too much, but I see it as maybe that was Brooklynns guest room at one point? I am also a firm believer that Sammy dyed her hair pink for Brooklynn. Like Ben, everything just felt so casual and therefore more heart aching. Sammy wants to pretend like she could open that door and Brooklynn would just be there, researching and chilling. I think Yaz's flashback with Brooklynn is the saddest. All these years later and Yaz still confides and trusts Brooklynn to help her through her struggles. It's hard to believe they used to fight so much. Brooklynn is so understanding and kind, and I also find it interesting that it appears that Brooklynn was the one that really kept up with all of them. She wanted to be there for them, and it makes her supposed death that much sadder.
Random things of note:
I have always been a Benjamin denier AND NOW THEY'RE JUST DROPPING THAT OUT OF NO WHERE?? I can't have anything fr. Whatever, I'm still on my Sammy is short for Samantha box sue me.
Bumpy being a mother is so silly goofy but I'm hear for it, just glad she's ok cause if they actually tried to kill her I would've had to intervene.
I really loved the way they let everyone show emotions this season. Like yes of course they showed emotions before, but this felt so much rawer and realer if that makes any sense. Literally all of them cried once throughout the season and I loved that. But not just that, they let them be frustrated, and angry, and happy, and everything in between. KEEP IT UP.
All of the dinosaurs looked amazing, but man the Allosaurus stole the show. Also I loved the white eye, it made us want to view the dinosaur as evil in a way, and I think that was good for putting us in Darius' shoes.
The flashback sequence with Darius and the Allosaurus was so wicked. The team knew how to kill a dramatic moment oh my lord. This is kinda related to the animation too but so many shots were so cinematic. LIKE LIGHTING AND BLOCKING IS BACK PEOPLE. Brooklynn's apartment was gorgeous, Sammy's ranch during the sunset was beautiful. The scene of the explosion behind the T. Rex was iconic. We're so back
I'm so in love with how this show handled grief and not only that, but grief in a group setting. I think this might one of the only pieces of media I've ever seen that really shows how messy found family can be, and that's ok. It's not supposed to perfect, it's only as good as they make it.
Kenji saying dad in Japanese after having that conversation with his father about not being able to speak it, and the implication that he might've learned that word to try and talk with his father? Someone kill me like actually.
Darius wearing yellow agai- [GUNSHOT]
I could go into the color theory with all of their outfits but I won't cause I'm trying to not go that insane (it's not going well)
Ben's fanny back going across his torso, Yaz's iconic bangs.
The fact that Sammy found the map implies that A. Brooklynn came over right before she died and after Darius' confession, and B. That despite everything she still wanted and needed to talk to him about something.
Microbangs lady was actually scary as hell. I really liked her though, she was menacing and interesting. And she clearly valued her relationship with the raptors, I hope we see more of her.
I'm kinda sus of Mateo but I think that's just the trauma of every adult always betraying them. Hope he was chill and we won't see him again pls.
Sammy being such a great fighter is so random but I love it so much?? Like yes let her kick ass in cowboy boots that's my girl.
Where is Darius' necklace? When did he stop wearing it? It is important to the plot or did the animators just find it unnecessary?
Closing thoughts:
Overall WHAT A SHOW!! I had kinda fallen out of love with this show because s4 and s5 were kinda eh. I've never stopped loving the characters though, so this show was like a dream come true. Finally an amazing story to support these amazing characters again.
The character relationships felt at an all time high and I'm so grateful. These characters literally feel like my family too it's kinda bad how much I'm attached. I just love how much they love each other.
The only thing that kinda confused me was the ending. Why did they have to get on the boat right then and there? Why did no one stop the boat before it left? I'm not sure but I'm very excited to find out.
And lastly surprise surprise Brooklynn is alive. Of course I'm happy to know, but I kinda don't like the circumstances. I thought she was gonna be kidnapped or something so there would be a valid reason why she wasn't reaching out. But she's free and is just choosing to hide from the crew, with a good reason I assume. I think this will make her reunion with them more bitter than sweet, but I did just say I love messy so I'm excited anyway.
Y'all my fault I know I have a habit of rambling and making essays but this is just too much fr. Whatever I LOVE TALKING ABOUT WHAT I LOVE LMAO.
#jurassic world#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jurassic world chaos theory#jwcc#jwct#jwct spoilers#darius bowman#kenji kon#sammy gutierrez#yasmina fadoula#ben pincus#MY FAMILY IS BACK MY HEART IS FULL#Y'all it's like the good old days I wrote so much for no reason#I need them more than I need air#I can't get them off my mind#peak fiction is back#how am I supposed to move on with my life after this#S2 WHEN#but I am terrified of them pulling a s4 and it being bad pls no#WHATEVER I'M RIDING THIS HIGH AS LONG AS I CAN
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streamer!ellie hcs ⋆⭒˚｡⋆
this is more focused on ellie and less on ellie x reader but i am for sure gonna follow this up with something else more focused on the both of you >:3
warnings | mentions of weed, the smallest hint towards struggling with eating if you squint
word count: 698
do not buy tlou | ways to help palestine | operation olive branch
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
‧₊˚౨ৎ started off posting unlisted videos of her playing games with the stupidest, shittiest editing ever for you and her friends to watch and later decided to give streaming a try
‧₊˚౨ৎ starts off her twitch channel as a faceless streamer but does a face reveal when she hits a big milestone
‧₊˚౨ৎ has the creeper mini fridge for sure!!
‧₊˚౨ৎ has a ginger cat named garfield that she exclusively calls garfunkel on stream because her viewers made fun of her for garfield being too unoriginal
“guys, what do you mean it’s unoriginal, look at him. that’s literally garfield, the real deal. you’re all haters.”
‧₊˚౨ৎ plays a bunch of different games: minecraft obviously, fortnite, roblox (and argues with kids on there, you can’t tell me any different). also loves fnaf, elder scrolls and resident evil
‧₊˚౨ৎ more on her liking resident evil, i think she’s not super wimpy when it comes to games like that but she HATES the regenerators from the re4 remake (i’m totally not projecting…)
“i am NOT a wimp, but look at their freaky fucking arms!! and they have gross little butts too, that was not a necessary choice for the character design.”
‧₊˚౨ৎ she does find it funny when she kills them and they jiggle as they fall on the ground though
‧₊˚౨ৎ i’m throwing it in here that she smokes weed because i simply cannot help myself teehee :P
‧₊˚౨ৎ she does more chill streams of her eating n stuff as a way of comforting her viewers so they can eat along with her )):
‧₊˚౨ৎ and in turn chat always spams her with comments to drink water because that girl survives purely on energy drinks to combat her sleepy girl syndrome
‧₊˚౨ৎ abuses the soundboard so heavily, loves using a sound effect of an audience clapping and cheering when she tells the most painfully unfunny joke
‧₊˚౨ৎ she is ABSOLUTELY a jerma985 fan
‧₊˚౨ৎ loves putting her fans on blast and reacting to edits of her on stream and finds it so funny (especially the ones that have the reverb fart noise just randomly slapped in there, she thinks it’s peak humour)
“you guys think i don’t see this stuff? i have eyes everywhere. y’know what though, you guys are actually really talented.”
‧₊˚౨ৎ wears stupid t-shirts that say stuff like “i paused my game to be here” (omg i just found one that says “gamers make better lovers, they know all the right buttons” she would absolutely wear that)
‧₊˚౨ৎ she wears her silly t-shirts with pride and has the audacity to ask chat to rate how hard her fit goes
therealher0brine: BOOOOOO 🍅🍅🍅 0/10
elliebellie69: i beg that you don’t leave the house in that /lh (╥﹏╥)
gnarpgnarp500: never beating the loser lesbian allegations i fear…
“guys you’re just not seeing the vision, sorry that you’re not this cool.”
‧₊˚౨ৎ oh my gosh she is OBSESSED with the little ikea alien, she has multiple of them in her room. she keeps one on her desk and when she sometimes doesn’t know what to say she’ll just hold it up super close to the camera and make incoherent high pitched babbling sounds
smelliams420: omg cancelled you can’t say that dude…
‧₊˚౨ৎ gets her viewers to send in clips and she’ll do high try not to laugh streams and fails miserably because she has the dumbest sense of humour ever. she’ll blame it entirely on the herb though as if her reaction wouldn’t be near enough the same when she’s sober
‧₊˚౨ৎ will occasionally play guitar on stream and she’ll sing too if you catch her in the right mood. she’s a bit awkward about it so it doesn’t happen often cuz she hates messing up and always makes a way bigger deal about it than necessary
“fuck- no wait, i was just messing with you. that fuck up was on purpose, shut up,” and her cheeks are flushed bright red as she tries to brush it off and compose herself before trying again
‧₊˚౨ৎ loves to get sidetracked and info dumps about stuff she is far too knowledgeable on
‧₊˚౨ৎ in conclusion, loser ellie supremacy
a/n: raghhh i love streamer els with my whole heart !!! i’m gonna eat her (˶˃⤙˂˶) anyways i hope you enjoyed, k bye mwah! >3< ♡
#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams headcanons#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#streamer!ellie#streamer au#modern au#modern!ellie
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Royalty Royalty royalltyyyyy
It’s been years since a kiss made Jason weak in the knees, since a man made his heart skip a beat and butterflies tickle his stomach. That it's Dick only makes sense—he was the last to steal Jason's breath; it's about damn time he came to give it back.
Three years and it felt like a lifetime; three years and it's like no time at all because Dick still kisses the same.
It makes Jason want to tease him, but the implication that Dick hasn't kissed anyone since Jason leaves his cheeks flushing hot; a pink stain that burns even the tips of his ears. That besides, what would it say about Jason that he remembers Dick's affections so well?
“To think an honorable knight would want to spend their homecoming with a common street whore.” Jason jokes, so breathless he feels lightheaded.
Through the press of their lips Jason feels Dick smile—feels the breath from his laughter, filled with wonder and awe. It’s contagious; Jason can feel himself smiling, too. Just as wonder struck, just as awed.
“Nothing honorable about me.” Dick says, not missing a beat as he kisses the corner of Jason’s mouth, the cut of his jaw and the line of his neck. Pulling down the hood of Jason's cloak to expose the hickeys that line Jason's throat and leaving his claim over them—suck marks, bruises; a disparately chaste and tender peck to Jason's fluttering pulse before Dick is smiling again, "Nothing common about you."
Jason tries and fails to still his heart at the praise, distracted by Dick's sinful mouth and all of his languid, open-mouthed kisses. He'll make a mess of Jason; he always did. His other patrons always hated it, but to hell with them. It's been three years. Jason wants to walk away from this encounter wrecked; he wants to be leaking for the next man to see—wants everyone that has him after to know that Dick had him first and fucked him better.
In a broken, gasping voice, Jason teases, “So you say, but you’re the one who 'single-handedly' ended a war. Marched dead men out from a slaughter and back to their home and families.”
“Is that what they’re saying?” Dick asks, distracted as he gets Jason off on nothing but the low pitch of his voice and the span of his hands along Jason's hips.
“Mhm.” Jason hums. “Rumor has it you even brought the gods to their knees.”
“I’d much rather bring you to yours.” Dick quips, pulling back just enough to smirk at Jason, and it's here that Jason sees how three years have changed Dick. Three years of fighting a war not his own, made to bleed in the colors of the Court -a prisoner to king and country- and Dick's once steady hands tremble, that persisting light in his eyes a flickering, fading thing.
======
This AU is a mess because it's a little grand for where my skills are. Also, this is actually a fantasy story with magic and yet there's no mention of it anywhere yet because this was also a rough draft of a more intimate scene and I was supposed to go back and edit but whoops ahhhhhahaha. But let it be known, Dick + gravity magic!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ And I haven't written it properly, but:
While these two are making out and fooling around? They're actually tucked away in an alcove. And the 'Court' is partially flooded (because Dick's gravity magic drew the ocean closer over the years he was kept there), so they're standing in shallow water and because Dick is all happy there's supposed to be water pulled up around them and water drops being all pretty and ahhhhhhhh
In the same happy vibes as above, Dick making them both weightless because he's so at peace ;U;
Like Jason actually startling a bit and snickering because Dick's magic gives away how happy he is. Jason finding some relief in that - that it's not just him.
Also, during the war: monstrous!Dick Grayson who bore down on everything and devastated entire cities ///u///
Another detail - the excessive use of magic staining Dick's fingers/hands black because idc what anyone says that's peak character design ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
WIP Game
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hello!! would love 'remembering little details when shopping for them (certain brands of tissues that don't irritate their nose, flavors of cough drops/lozenges they prefer, etc.)' with ross!!! 🫶🫶
tysm!!! love your blog sm it’s sickening. I hope it’s good! 💗💗
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You’re lying in bed, feeling the weight of the blankets pressing down on you, your head a throbbing mess. The room feels stuffy despite the cool spring breeze sneaking through the slightly open window. Your phone buzzes beside you, and you reach for it with a groggy hand.
‘Went to the store for a quick shop, back in 10 x’
You smile weakly, set your phone down and nestle deeper into the blankets, the fever making your eyelids heavy. The room feels like it is gently spinning, but knowing Ross would be back soon gives you a sense of comfort. You let your eyes close, feeling a little bit of peace seep into the feverish haze.
The next thing you know, you hear the door creak open and the familiar sound of Ross's footsteps padding softly across the floor. He peeks into the bedroom, his concerned eyes tracing over your figure. Your eyes aren’t open, that’s why he walks to the kitchen with the brown bag he brought.
You could hear him boiling water and the rhythmic sound of him chopping ginger. Soon, the warm, spicy aroma fills the air, and he walks into the bedroom with a steaming mug and the brown bag.
He sits down beside you, your eyes finally opening, soaking in his appearance. “How are you feeling, love? Any better?”
You sigh, the fever still making your thoughts hazy. "I still feel like shit," you admit, managing a weak smile.
He nods, brushing a strand of hair away from your forehead. “Made you ginger tea, how’s that sound hm?”
"Lovely," you whisper, your voice barely audible.
"Here we go," he says, offering you a warm smile. "Should do the trick."
You take a cautious sip, the heat and spice soothing your sore throat immediately. "Mmm, it’s perfect. Thank you."
“Brought you some other things,” he turns his back and lifts the brown paper bag on his lap.
He lays down tissues on the bed first, “eucalyptus-scented one’s, they don’t irritate your nose ain’t that right?” He waits for your nod, your heart already swelling with affection.
“Cough drops, honey lemon flavored,” he lifts a pick into the air before laying them down next to the tissue, “found ‘em after rummaging through a whole bunch of halls.“
You giggle weakly, taking his hands into your, “you’re a lifesaver.”
“S’ not everything,” he dips his hand back into the bag, “I got the good soup, none of that rubbish from last time.”
He winks, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small tin of your favorite lozenges. "And these, your favorite. Couldn't forget those, could I?"
Your eyes light up at the sight of the tin. "You remembered! You're the best."
He smiles, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. "Just doing my duty, love. Now, let’s get you feeling better.”
His lips lean down from your forehead to your lips but you turn your head away quickly, “No, you’ll catch it,” you protest.
“Don’t be daft,” he murmurs, cupping your cheek and gently turning your face towards him, “don’t care about that.”
Before you can argue further, he presses a tender kiss to your lips, lingering there for a moment. The warmth of his lips comforting, helping you relax.
“There we go,” he says, brushing his fingers through your hair, “now just relax will you? I’ll look after you.”
“Soup now or later?” He asks, running his hands through the side of his tucked up hair.
“Laters fine.”
“No rush, whenever you’re ready.” He hands you the mug again and watches as you take a sip.
“Anythin’ else for you?” His hand is still brushing hair away from your face.
“Could I have a cuddle?”
Ross chuckles, already setting all the medical products on the nightstand, “could you have a cuddle hm?”
You can’t help but laugh at his playful teasing.
You sit up, giving him the hint that he should get in behind you. He groans as he struggles to lift one of his giant legs around you, as you settle between his thighs, leaning your head back against his stomach.
He lets out a soft sigh, his fingers gently stroking your shoulder. "You're exhausted, aren't you?" he observes quietly.
You nod, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as you relax into his embrace. "Yeah, I am. But being here with you makes it all better."
His arms tighten around you, offering silent reassurance. "Rest now, love," he whispers, his voice filled with tenderness. "I've got you."
His lips come down to your ear, “when you’re awake we can watch the show you’re crazy about, good?”
He hates ‘The Hills’, he hates the drama and he thinks it’s ’proper boring.’
You smile, “sounds perfect.”
#the 1975#ross macdonald#ross macdonald fluff#ross macdonald imagine#ross macdonald x you#ross macdonald x reader#the 1975 fic#matty healy#george daniel#adam hann
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some sentences saturday
from my untitled cat dad eddie fic!
“Hey, kiddo,” Eddie says as Chris pulls himself into the truck.
Chris eyes him warily. “What did you do?”
“Am I really that obvious?” Eddie laughs, pulling out of the school pickup line.
“You look like a dog with something in its mouth,” Chris observes.
Eddie chews on the inside of his cheek to buy himself time. “Yeah. I—uh—may have made an impulse purchase. Frank told me to volunteer at an animal shelter, so I went, and there was this cat, and—”
“Dad,” Chris gasps, “Did we get a cat?”
“Sort of,” Eddie winces, “She might not… she might not be friendly like your friends’ cats. People really hurt her, before.”
Chris frowns. “Oh.”
“She’s really scared,” Eddie explains, “She thinks someone like you or me or Buck will hurt her.”
“I wouldn’t hurt her!” Chris defends, “Neither would you or Buck.”
“She doesn’t know that,” Eddie says softly, “She’s a cat, so the only way to help her understand that is to show her. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah,” Chris nods. “Is that why you got hurt?”
Eddie glances down at his bandaged hand. “Yeah. She bit me.”
“What did you do?” Chris says, with a protective bite that, honestly, makes Eddie a little proud.
“She’s been declawed,” Eddie says, “She can’t scratch people to let them know when to stop any more, so she bites more often. I had to give her some food, and got too close to her personal space. Hopefully with more work I can get closer to her or feed her from a bowl, but she’s been staying in her carrier.”
“Okay,” Chris accepts, “Can I see her?”
“I think that would be a good idea,” Eddie says, “She’s in my room—we’ll do your homework in there, and then we can work on slow blinking. I’m talking to a behaviorist from the shelter, and she says that’s how cats say I feel safe.”
Chris, with a look of raw determination (the only good thing Eddie ever gave him), nods. They make it home in one piece, and soon Chris is speeding in through the front door and towards Eddie’s room.
“Mijo, wait!” Eddie winces. Chris does actually stop (thank God), pausing with his hand on Eddie’s doorknob and a plaintive look back.
“Let me lead this, okay?” Eddie says, and he always hates taking agency away from his son, but this is… this is something he can’t afford to mess up. He doesn’t like the churning feeling in his gut when he thinks about what’ll happen if Magnolia bites Chris.
With a downcast look, Chris nods.
“Hey, I’m not saying I don’t think you’ll respect her space, or that I think you’ll do anything wrong,” Eddie assures him, “I just want to make sure she sees a familiar face first, okay?”
“Okay,” Chris says, relaxing. Eddie opens the door and steps in.
When they get in, she’s still in her crate. Eddie bites back a sigh of disappointment, one that quickly becomes unnecessary when he realizes she’s eaten her food.
“Alright, bud, let’s get cracking,” Eddie says, sitting cross-legged on his own bed. Chris joins him, and it’s almost like they’re having a sleepover, whispering because they’re up too late, and not because there’s a really freaked out cat six feet away.
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I forgot to upload these I love them they’re so silly
#silly alert#I need to draw Letul more again#I was on a great role and then I added more to Lorn so I've been drawing him a lot instead#Might upload the Lorn ones later idk#Sigh..#Letul's my number one <3#So so absolutely silly...#Letul#oc#oc insert#superhero in training#superhero oc#hero oc#marvel#marvel oc#FUCK I FORGOT MY TAGS#Also this is officially their new updated hero outfit#It's a bit of a mess but it makes sense for them#Domino mask is added after they get the sick ass robo eye#bee tee dubs
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years later someone buys the plot, turns on the lights and is suddenly worshipped as a sun god by a bunch of puppets falling apart at the seams
pov you break into the spooky abandoned Playfellow Studios building for shits and giggles
#lore tidbit! the plot is not available for purchase#the building is only Technically abandoned. its still very much Owned private property!#actually ive been thinking about the Other side of this au. the people's perspective#cause in this au at least they all Knew the puppets were alive#many employees - especially the ones working 'closest' to the puppets - put up a huge fight when the show got canceled#but it was either Disassemble (kill) Them or Lock Them Away#and honestly? killing the neighbors would've been somewhat of a mercy#but the employees had no way of knowing just how Bad things would get#wh lights out au#scribble salad#and i mean. the building's electricity bill remains paid.#the employees that felt really bad kept it paid over the years - devoting a bit of their income each to it#thinking the puppets would a) be awake & b) be able to figure it out#yeah that's actually a lil fun tragic tidbit as well - if any of the puppets had found the breaker....#or found it and Messed with it a lil... flipped the right switch...#they would've gotten the lights back on no problem#but yeah anyway ive been Thinking about the employees' side of things a lot#might tie that in with act two. it'd make sense considering the shit that happens#well either they'd help the puppets out or they'd get shoved into one of the sinkholes by barnaby. so.#bc if we're talkin seriously here. the puppets are more likely to kill a person than worship them for any reason#they'd go full 'THREAT!! THREAT!! ELIMINATE THE THREAT!!! WE'RE NOT LOSING ANYONE ELSE!!!' mode
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Killua and the Power of Wishes
Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.
As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.
One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.
Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.
Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.
Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.
To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.
I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.
Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.
What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.
[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]
This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.
When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.
Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.
[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]
It's such an innocent, simple want.
And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.
In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:
Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."
Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)
Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."
And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!
So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.
10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.
Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.
It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.
Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).
"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"
The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.
Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?
Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.
[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]
Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.
And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.
This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.
It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.
[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]
I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.
However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.
Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.
[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]
I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.
But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.
Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.
[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]
Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?
Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.
[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]
Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".
I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.
...holy shit, kid.
[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]
And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(
What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.
In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.
Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.
[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]
Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.
Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.
They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:
As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course
Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo
I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.
Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.
The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.
So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.
Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.
It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.
Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.
Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]
Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.
Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.
Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.
And Alluka tears into him for it.
[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]
You tell him, girl.
Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?
"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.
Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.
And neither should Killua.
[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]
It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.
Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.
And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]
...she doesn't even have to think about it.
I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.
#oh my god this was supposed to be a brief write-up what happened 😭#ugh i feel like this is a bit of a mess and there's infinite other little points i could've made or elaborated on or interpreted differentl#but i'm so tired lmao#anyways tldr fuck you illumi you suck#killua is a snarky little shit but he also has so much love in his tiny body and i think we should appreciate him forever and ever#this also accidentally turned into alluka and nanika appreciation. i love them#nanika sweet angel i love you so much i hope you get all the head pats in the world#ghhh i'm so scared this doesn't make sense anymore i've been working on it for almost a week#hunter x hunter#hxh#hxh meta#killua zoldyck#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.#storyrambles#also that one scene where gon turns to look directly at killua and tells him he has fun being with him makes me jdfhbvsdjfbvh#he's so intense about it i start laughing. no wonder killua basically just went ??!?!?!?! and like. leaned back because i think i would've#done the same lmaoooo#it's very sweet though :')#argh. gotta post. i need to stop hesitating. let's go.
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