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elisysd · 9 hours

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12. Don't give me up, cause what about, what about angels

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: What About Angels - Birdy

Charles saw you tensing after your mother’s cold greeting. He hated how you flinched as she was reminding you that being late was disrespectful towards your dad’s special day, that being away from home and in a big city had made you lose sight of the values they had taught you. But he hated even more how you simply smiled and apologized. He needed all his self control to not take your side, he knew how anxious this whole situation was making you feel, he didn’t want to make it worse by saying something he knew wouldn’t be well received.

The first thing he noticed in the house’s hall was the amount of family pictures, but instead of four people on them were only three. He recognised your mom, assumed the man beside her was your dad and when he thought he would notice you, it was instead your little brother. He couldn't be wrong, he looked exactly like you. The pictures were cut in a certain way that didn’t take him a long time to understand that you had been cut out of them. He felt a wave of rage hitting him. Why make you come here if your parents had gone to such an extent as to erase every trace of your existence? It was a twisted joke.

“You don’t even call anymore, Y/N. I knew it would happen, I’ve always said that being in a world full of sparks and empty promises would change you. You’re too gullible. You don’t even have time for your own family anymore. Not that you ever had.”

“You’ve never tried to ask questions about my job…” you mumbled as Charles put a comforting hand on your hip.

“I don’t need to. I know exactly what you do, you’re the talk of the town. The small town girl made it to the TV. There is no reason to be proud, playing a pretty face on tv… that is not what I raised you to be. And now you’re associating yourself with fair-weather friends…” she said, darting judgmental eyes on Charles. “I know exactly who you are.”

He didn’t have the time to reply as your dad entered the room and sat on the chair without a word. You sat too, Charles close to you as your mom joined your dad’s side.

“How nice it is to finally see you alive.” he said, making you gulp.

“I’m Charles, your daughter’s boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” he introduced himself in a desperate attempt to drive the conversation away from you and the relieved sigh you let out made him think that you appreciated it.

Lunch was awkward, punctuated with snarky comments here and there that you tried your best to ignore. Charles was trying to do the same but it was getting harder and harder for him to keep his calm. But it was when cake was brought that resentment and unspoken words finally came out in the open. You had taken your phone out of your pocket, wanting to show your parents all the beautiful landscapes you had the chance to witness.

“Aren’t you ashamed?” your mom muttered.

“Why?” you turned your head to look at her in disbelief.

“Ashamed of following the sport that killed your brother. Ashamed of being with the man responsible for his death.” she sternly said.

You felt like a million daggers stabbing your heart all at once. You took a deep breath, putting your hand on his thigh, squeezing it lightly to indicate to him not to react. It was something you had to do alone.

“F1 and Charles didn’t kill Luc, it was his leukemia, not anything else.” you replied, feeling a lump in your throat.

“If you had not introduced your brother to that stupid sport, he wouldn’t have been a fan and his illness wouldn't have turned that bad so quickly. He wasn’t talking about anything else than that sport and you. Until his very last breath. His last words were about Formula 1. It took my baby away from me and this is your fault. Both of you.” she finished, turning to Charles this time.

“If I can add something… I know I have no right to comment on this situation but even if I understand your pain, Y/N is not the one to blame. She…” Charles started, quickly shutted up by your dad.

“You’re right, you have no right to say a thing. You don’t know what it is like to lose a son.”

“Maybe I don’t, yeah. But I know exactly what it feels like to lose a parent. I understand your pain. Truly. But with all due respect, you’ve already lost a son, you should be more careful to not lose a daughter by pushing her away and making her feel like a stranger in her own family.”

“We’ve already lost her the minute she decided to not show up at the funeral.” your mom spitted, making you close your eyes, trying to not cry. You wouldn’t give that pleasure to your parents.

“I think it’s best if we leave. It was a bad idea to come here, anyway.” you ended up saying, standing up, Charles following you. “You shouldn’t have invited me in the first place, if it was to treat me that way.”

You took Charles’ hand in yours and dragged him out of what had been once your safe place. Without a word you made your way to his car and rushed inside and it was only when the door was closed and that he had taken place behind the wheel that you broke down. He didn’t hesitate to pull you on his lap and let you cry on his shoulder, holding you tight.

“It’s okay, babe… you’re okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to feel bad, you have nothing to feel bad about. If you were believing your mom’s lies, I understand why you were so mean to me at the beginning now.”

“She is not entirely wrong, you know.” you sniffed in his neck. “At least about one thing, I should’ve been there for Luc’s funeral. But it was too hard for me. I didn’t want to face the fact that I would never see him again. I didn’t want to make the nightmare I was in real. because if I was going, it would happen exactly that. It would have made the pain real and permanent. I couldn’t.”

You put your forehead against his, trying to find a way to ground you. Charles drew small patterns on your hips, comforting you the best he could.

“Let’s get some fresh air, okay?” he whispered against your ear.

You got out of the car and hand in hand you started to wander the streets of your childhood, telling him anecdotes and facts of any buildings and streets you were walking on and seeing.

“Tell me about Luc.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything. Whatever you want. Whatever you feel comfortable sharing with me.”

“He was passionate. About many things. History and art mostly. He wanted to work in a museum. And passionate about F1 of course. He knew a lot of mechanical stuff, more than I did. He taught me as much as I did, I swear. Maybe more. I was spending my weekends at the hospital with him to watch the races. When he was hospitalized, it was what kept him going. It was our thing, you know. Wait, I think I have a picture to show you.”

She took a photo out of her wallet and gave it to him. If he didn’t know it was a hospital room, he would have had a hard time guessing it. Everywhere were Ferrari and monegasque flags as well as a lot of merch. He was recognising one of his caps on the bedside table. Posters of his podiums were hung on the walls, his Monza’s win right above Luc’s head. Small replicas of his trophies were there too as well as miniatures of his helmets.

“A real fan.” he smiled.

“The best.” you sighed. “ You don’t know how happy he was when you won in Monza. It brought so much joy in his life. Even if it wasn’t for long. It was a tough time, he had just started to get hospitalized, he was very sick and pale and the shell of what he once was. And suddenly, he was feeling a little more alive. Because of you. Then, time went by and I had to leave for New York. It was the toughest decision I had to make in my life. At some point I was ready to take a year off so I could be with him…”

“What made you change your mind?”

“Him. With time my dream became his. He wouldn’t have forgiven me if I was giving it all up because he was sick. He was talking about how amazing it would be if I was interviewing you. I bet he is the happiest up there.” you smiled, looking up. “One of his dreams was to meet you.”

“Maybe it is not too late?” Charles hesitantly said and you looked at him curiously. “Is he buried here?”

You nodded and he felt you stiffened.

“I've never been on his grave.” you confessed after a moment of silence. “It’s too hard and too painful to go there alone.”

“Good thing you’re not alone anymore, then.”

As you were making your way to the graveyard, Charles had to hold you closer to his chest with each step you were taking. You sobs were getting louder and your legs were shakier. It was breaking his heart, trying to see how much you were trying to keep it together.

When you finally reached the grave, at the back end of the graveyard, you fell on your knees in front of the black grave. Luc hated black. A black and white picture of him was also in the middle of the gravestone. It made you shiver. It was well kept, your parents were coming often. The lump in your throat had not gone away in the slightest, it was even bigger now, making you choke up on your own saliva. Charles wanted to hold you, wanted to get you out of here. The emotional devastation you were in was making him want to join you on the ground and cry with you. But he also knew you needed it. It was the closure you needed to move forward. He took a few steps away, giving you privacy.

“I’m so sorry, Luc. So sorry. Sorry about how I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most, sorry to have let you down, sorry to not have stepped up and measured up when I should have, sorry to not have been the sister you deserved. There is not a day that goes by when I don’t regret not being by your side. There are so many things that I should have done differently, so many things that I feel guilty about but none of them compare to how guilty I feel to not have said goodbye. I acted like a coward and I know how much you felt scared about dying. And how I promised you I would hold your hand until the end. I didn’t. I chickened out and I failed you. If I could go back in time, I would, just so I could look into your eyes one last time and hold your hand tight. I wouldn’t hesitate. I would trade anything for one last smile of yours. I hope you can forgive me, I sure can’t do that alone. But despite everything I’m happy and I’m not sure I should be. I fell in love and you would be ecstatic to know who I share my life with. He is supportive and kind and perfect for me. I wish we would have had enough time so you could have met him. But maybe after all, it’s you I should thank. Maybe it’s you who sent Charles on my way. Maybe it is your way of telling me that you are not mad at me. That you want me to be happy. If only you could give me a sign. I just want you to know that everything I do, I do it for you. Because I love you. Forever.”

You felt Charles’ arms around your shoulders as he crouched down beside you.

“Hey, Luc. I know we don’t know each other but your sister talks about you so much that I feel like I already know you. I would have loved to meet you, I know how big of a fan you are of F1. I would have loved to show you around the paddock, maybe I would have let you sit in my car. Anything to make you and your sister smile. You are brave and strong and I have nothing but pure admiration for you. I wish I could have met you. Don’t worry about your sister, I take good care of her and I don’t want to let go of her. I’m here for her for as long as she lets me but I hope it is a forever kind of thing.” he whispered as you looked at him with big and glossy eyes.

He helped you stand up, asked if you were alright and if you wanted to leave. He didn’t mind staying but he wanted to make sure you were alright, the day had been emotionally draining enough. When you nodded, he took you in his arms, engulfing you in his jacket so you weren’t cold and kissed the top of your head as you headed out.

“I’m so proud of you. So proud.” he said as you finally reached his car.

“Thank you. For being there. I don’t think I would have been able to do it alone.”

“You’re the strongest person I know. You would have done it at some point.”

“Did you mean it? What you said up there… About us being forever.” you shyly asked.

“I’m sorry it was not the best time to say it. But to answer you, I do. I’m not kidding, Y/N, I swear I can’t explain it. I don’t know how either but I just know. You’re the love of my life.”

Author's note: In laws meeting incoming... how do you think it will turn out? .

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

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elisysd · 6 days

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eli noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

>:) anon

What? 😂🤭 you mean the cliffhanger? 👀

#>:) anon #elisys asks #send anons #anon ask #thanks anon!#anonymous

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elisysd · 7 days

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11. I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Daylight - Taylor Swift

You loved him. You said it first and he didn’t expect it. Never in a million years. He wasn’t expecting to hear it this soon and even less, he wasn’t expecting to hear it from you. He had always thought he would be the first to say it but wanted to wait for the perfect moment.

“Can you say it again?” he asked, wanting to make sure he hadn’t misheard you.

“I love you.” you smiled.

“Again?”

“I. Love. You.”

“One last time?” he insisted, putting his forehead against yours.

“I love you, Charles Leclerc.”

He laughed lightly before twirling you around and kissing you like his life depended on it.

“I fell for you fast the minute I decided to give you a chance. It’s scary. But I’m not scared to love you. That, I’m not. I just don’t know how people would eventually react or say…”

“I don’t give a fuck about what people say. I know what we are, I know what you feel for me and you know what I feel for you. This is what matters the most.”

“And what are you feeling for me?” you teased him.

“Love. Unconditional love.”

“You’re cute but we can’t ignore that this is making my job more and more difficult. It will come back to bite me in the ass at some point.”

“It will be alright.” he reassured you.

“Easy for you to say. Your job is not on the line… me, on the other hand? If I lose it because of that, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m not rich like you, I have a rent to pay and try to rent in Paris, you’ll see how awful it is. I’m losing my job, I'm losing my apartment. It is as simple as that.”

It had the effect to act as a wake up call for Charles. He might have an easy life but it wasn’t the case for everyone. He gulped and took your face between his hands.

“If it ever comes to that, which I doubt, we will find a way. I’m not giving up on you. I love you too much to do that.”

You met your colleagues at the airport after having to rush out of Charles’ room and embrace. He had tried, and almost achieved, to persuade you to come back home with him but you still had work to do and a flat to take care of. It was not as fun as what Charles was promising to give you, but adulthood wasn’t always fun. In the plane, next to Marion, you let your thoughts wander. The weekend was hard to process. You had not planned on confessing your feelings for him this soon. But it felt right, natural. You were already in a messy situation, you didn’t want to throw miscommunication into the mix. But still, you were standing about what you told him earlier, you were scared. Once you would tell your boss that you and Charles were in a relationship, you knew it would only be a hit or miss. Or you were going to keep your job, or you were going to lose it. There was an option you liked better than the other. If you were fired, you seriously didn’t know how you were going to make ends meet.

“Are you okay? You frown a lot, today.” Marion noticed.

You forced a smile before replying that you were doing alright. She put a hand on your shoulder and gave you an empathetic smile.

“You know you can tell me everything, I won’t judge.”

It made you gulp. You were thankful to be in such a wonderful team, always ready to help you if needed and that thought only made you break down. Your sobs turned into a panic attack to the point Marion made you follow her at the back of the plane and made you sit on the floor, helping you calm down.

“I’m lost and confused, Marion.” you managed to say between two out of breath sounds.

“I’m here for you, always.”

She took your hands in hers and looked into your eyes. You knew you could trust her, she wouldn’t say a word, and you needed to talk about this story to someone, you couldn’t keep it to yourself any longer. So you told her everyone, from your very first encounter with Charles, to the promise you made to your late brother and finally how you fell in love with the boy in the red suit. When you were done, you felt relieved and that was only then that you understood how much keeping it secret was weighing you down.

“I’m surprised, but not totally. I noticed how you were smiling more lately and how you seemed to be more at peace with yourself. I didn’t want to pry. I won’t say a word. This is your private life and as long as it doesn’t impact your work, I don't see why it should become a problem. That being said, it’s best if you come clean to our boss. If he learns it doesn’t come from you, it will make everything harder. I’ll be there to back you up if things turn sour. But in any case, enjoy being in love. Don’t overthink it, I know Charles, he is a good guy. He will take good care of you , you can trust him.”

“Thank you, Marion. It was exactly what I needed to hear.” you whispered, a lump in your throat. “I’ll tell him. I’m just waiting for the summer break, it will be a less busy time for us, it gives me some time to prepare what I’m going to say.”

You arrived at your flat early in the evening. Dishes were still in the sink, waiting to be cleaned-up, some clothes were laying on the couch as you had forgotten to put them back in your closet and the few plants you had were clearly in desperate need of water. Your rent was also due and you groaned in front of all the chores you had to do. You started to unpack and put your suitcase away before coming back to your living room to tidy the place. It was almost nine when you finished everything you had to do. You plopped on your couch and took your phone to see Charles’ name on your screen.

Hey, I was thinking about something. Don’t you want to come to Monaco before going to your parents? We could spend a few days together?

You wanted to scream yes but your fears got the better hold of you and you hated yourself for it.

Your hometown? Risky, no?

There will always be a risk no matter where we are. But if it makes you feel better we don’t have to leave my place. I’m perfectly fine having you all to myself for days. My bed is quite comfy, you’ll see. And we can watch movies and cook together. I have plenty of activities in mind which don’t require us to go to public places.

How do you know what I need to hear to feel better?

I don’t know. I just… know? Somehow?

Well, you could take back your suitcase, you had an unexpected packing session to go through.

You arrived two days later to the address he had given you. He had argued about coming to pick you up from the train station but the last thing you wanted was to attract people’s attention. So you had walked to his place, thankfully, it wasn’t that far. As soon as you rang the doorbell, he opened it for you, pulling you inside, his lips already on yours.

“I missed you. Way too much. That’s not normal. What did you do to me?”

“If you have the answer, please tell me because I think you did the exact same thing to me.” you giggled.

He showed you around and naturally let your suitcases rest next to his, in his room.

“I changed the sheets. I spent yesterday cleaning the whole flat. I went grocery shopping too and I bought a bit of everything, I didn’t know what you liked so… I kinda went overboard. I bought chocolates and wine for your parents too. If you need anything else, I can go to the supermarket down the road, it won’t be long. I also emptied a drawer in my bathroom’s cupboard and in my closet too.”

“Charles,” you interrupted him. “It’s perfect. Everything is perfect. Don’t worry.”

“You would tell me if something was wrong, right?”

You shushed him out with a kiss, making sure he understood very well how happy you were to be with him. You felt his hand on your neck, getting you closer while, with his other hand, he easily got rid of your cardigan.

“You said your bed was comfy, right?” you whispered against his lips.

“Absolutely. Best bed ever.”

The next three days went by a blur. It was almost like heaven, or at least if heaven was real, then being with Charles felt like it. It was easy. You fit in his environment. He loved watching you sleeping in his sheets, he loved the way you were leaving your toothpaste left open on the bathroom’s sink, he loved seeing how grumpy you were before your first coffee in the morning, he loved the way he wasn't feeling alone anymore when you were by his side. He loved how you were correcting his way of chopping vegetables, telling him it was a miracle he still had ten fingers left. He loved how much of a sucker you were when it came to thrillers. He just loved you.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I know it is early but… I just know. If my brothers or friends would see me acting like this, they would think I’ve gone crazy.” he smiled as your head was resting on his chest.

“These last days with you made me realize how right I was to give us a chance. I know it won’t be easy, I know that shit will hit the fan at some point. But I also know that as long as I’m with you, it will be okay. It’s you and me against whatever obstacles will come our way.”

You had barely slept during the night. Today was the day when you would celebrate your dad’s birthday. You hadn’t been home for the past two years and had even less contact with your parents for a few months. And now you were bringing Charles along. Throwing him into a mess he didn’t deserve to be in. You had been quiet the whole way to Avignon, watching landscapes you loved growing up in until you finally arrived at the address you had given to Charles before leaving. Your legs had bounced the whole way there and the skin around your fingers was bleeding after you had spent hours scratching it. And now that you were in front of your childhood house, you felt like throwing up, breathing shallow. Charles stopped the engine and forced you to look at him.

“Hey, look at me. It will be alright. I’m with you, every step of the way. I’m not letting go of you. If you need me to hold your hand I will, I’m not going anywhere. One look from you that you want to leave, we do. No questions asked. I’m here for you. We can do it. You can.”

“I don’t want them to poison us with judgmental looks and make me feel like a kid who doesn't know what she is doing with her life.”

“Nothing they can say will make me love you less, rest assured. I won’t let you believe whatever negative shit they might say to you. You are a smart, ambitious, stubborn, resourceful, hard working, passionate and gorgeous woman. Don’t believe otherwise. I won’t let you, anyway.”

You smiled with difficulty, tears prickling behind your eyelids. You nodded as he kissed your forehead. He got out of the car before opening your door and taking your hand in his. You both walked to the front door of the house you loved growing up in but became a representation of a well kept cage as years went by. You knocked and a few moments later the door revealed your mom. She looked at you, up and down, not even acknowledging Charles.

“You’re late.” she finally said, making you gulp and shiver.

Author's note: In laws meeting incoming... how do you think it will turn out? .

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

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elisysd · 12 days

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stop playing around, knowing you it's not going to be rainbows and sprinkles....i dont trust you like that.

>:) anon

I’m glad to see I created some severe trust issues 😂 I guess only time will tell 🤷🏻‍♀️

#>:) anon #send anons #anon ask #thanks anon!#anonymous #elisys asks

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elisysd · 14 days

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I can feel the impending doom that's going to end on a cliffhanger and hit me faster than a train and I dont like it

>:) anon

I don’t see what you mean anon 👀🤭

Maybe I’m in a mood to write a sweet and drama free story? Maybe it will only be rainbows and sprinkles? Who knows 👀

#>:) anon #send anons #anon ask #thanks anon!#anonymous #elisys asks

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elisysd · 14 days

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10. If you fall, I will catch you, I’ll be waiting

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Time After Time - Cindy Lauper

You spent the next few days in a happy bliss, far away from your daily worries which seemed to have faded away whenever you would end up in Charles’ arms. He was taking you to work in the mornings and was driving you back home when your shift was over. Sometimes, he was even staying at your place when you were working from home. The demand came from you, to his surprise, but never would he dare to deny it to you. You were living in your own little bubble and when he finally had to leave, it felt weird. You had been so used to having him around. He fitted in your world, as much as you fitted in his.

“We’ll see each other in Canada, right? It will happen fast, I promise. I wish I could stay longer but duty called… I can’t stay far away from them even if I would love to be there with you.” he said, as your head was buried in his chest, his arms protectively around your shoulders and his lips against the top of your head.

“I’m going to miss you.” you mumbled.

“Yeah, me too. I became used to you so quickly it’s concerning. But hey, maybe we can sneak away in Montreal. Living dangerously, it’s going to be thrilling. I kinda like that.” he smiled as you looked at him.

“About that… I won’t be able to make it. I can miss one race a year and I chose Canada but it was weeks ago, when I didn’t even like you.” you explained, feeling suddenly very guilty and even more when you noticed him frowning, visibly disappointed. “And maybe it’s good? We’ve been glued to each other lately. Putting a little distance between us.”

“Maybe. I don’t like that. I just want to be with you. But I suppose you’re right. I’ll call you. And text you. I’m going to be very annoying now that I know you won’t be next to me.”

“Are you sure you will have time for that?” you asked.

“For you? Always.

In fact, he didn’t have as much time as he hoped he would, resulting in barely a few texts and even less calls. You were both way too busy and with the different time zones, synchronizing your schedules was just way too hard. The whole situation made Charles more on edge than usual. He was missing you more than what he expected and what he had ever felt before. But he wasn’t resenting you for it. You were working on the Alpine’s documentary which you were voicing over and it was taking every bit of your time. Still he was brooding and being an easily readable man, everyone in the paddock and in Ferrari knew it was better to leave him alone. Everyone but Pierre, who had made it his mission to find out what was annoying his best friend.

“ Come on! What is wrong with you? The car is shittier than usual? Carlos is being an ass? The tabloids took pictures of you with someone you shouldn’t see? Or maybe it’s the weather. You know you’re too water sensitive for your own good.”

“Shut up, Gasly. Go bother someone else.”

“Or maybe you’re in love and she rejected you?” This earned him a glare from the monegasque. “Oh shit. You’re in love. Damn… I didn’t see that coming. This is gold. Who is she? Do I know her? Is she a model? An actress? The daughter of a sponsor? I strongly advise you against that option, nothing good ever comes from that kind of situation and…”

“Y/N.” Charles finally snapped, before blushing furiously and watching around him, scared someone might have heard him.

“Y/N? The journalist? The one who is shooting a documentary about my team? That Y/N?” repeated Pierre, not believing it.

“Because you know other Y/N?”

“ I didn’t see that coming… Wasn’t she supposed to hate your guts?”

And Charles proceeded to explain everything to him, without telling him too many details about your life, knowing you wouldn’t appreciate it. But he talked about how much he liked you, what he felt for you and how you were a welcoming rainbow in a cloudy season. You were his escape. He didn’t know how long he talked about you but it must have been very long if Pierre was checking his watch from time to time.

“You’re down bad. Really bad. Some might say you’re in love.”

“It’s too soon to talk about love. We are just getting to know each other. But… Pierre, she is perfect. She is everything I’ve ever wanted, I swear.”

“Okay, Romeo. Just be careful. You are a big romantic and everything and you’re cute, but hold your horses. Take it slow, see where it goes and don’t be too much.”

“Pierre.. don’t say anything to anyone. We are not public. Not yet, at least. It’s a tough situation with her work, she needs to sort everything out and she needs time.”

“I might love gossiping but I would never gossip over something so big it could ruin careers. I’m not cruel.”

Charles spent the weekend giving his all, trying to make the best out of the car he had and for once he felt like it paid off. It wasn’t anywhere near where he wanted to be, but a good strategy, a bit opportunistic from Ferrari, had earned him a good place at the end of the race. He was happy and a bit hopeful for the future even if a tremendous amount of work still needed to be done.

When he came back to his hotel room, his first thought was directed to you. He knew you had watched the race and he wanted to share his happiness and pride with you. He laid down on his bed and took his phone, scrolling to find your number. He ignored his family words of congratulations, thinking he would answer later, and called you. You were quick to answer which made him think that you were waiting for his call.

“I’m so happy for you Charles, I was rooting for you so hard! Thankfully I was home.” he could hear the emotion and pride in your voice and it made him melt. “ You deserve it. You were amazing.”

“Yeah? You think?”

“Of course I do. You made me happy for a little moment.” you said and he could hear something was off in your voice. He didn’t like it and pressed you for an answer. You sighed and the line fell in silence for a few seconds before you started to talk again. “My dad’s birthday is right around the corner. I got a text from my mom asking me if I intended to come. It’s not an invitation, she expects me to be here.”

“ And what are you going to do?”

“ I don't want to go but if I don’t, it will only make everything worse.” you were on the verge of crying.

“I’ll be there for you. When is it?” he said, out of the blue, surprising you and himself.

“It’s after Silverstone but Charles… you… you’re not serious, right? You are not seriously saying you’re coming with me?” you nervously laughed.

“I’m completely serious. You don’t want to go there, I’m offering you support.”

“And what am I going to say to them?”

“Easy. That I’m your boyfriend.” he shrugged.

When he didn’t hear you reply he was scared for a minute that you hung up. He knew he was overstepping, you still had not talked about labeling your relationship, it was too early. But at the same time, he was serious about you and he wanted to know he wasn’t taking your relationship lightly. And that was exactly what he told you, determined. You needed reassurance and you needed him to show how much he cared and he wanted nothing more than to prove it to you.

“Thank you for being honest. And for taking things slow with me. I know I’m hard to handle.” you barely whispered.

“First of all, you’re not hard to handle, whatever that means. And it ‘s nice to take things slow. I’m used to going fast all the time, going slow spices up my daily life.” he laughed, hoping his joke attempt would at least make you smile.

“Well, then, in that case, I guess I need to tell my mom that I’m bringing a guest.”

Coming back from Montreal, Charles first thought was to head straight to Paris. More than just a want, it was a need to see you that led him to your door by the evening, his suitcases by his side. He knocked on your door but not hearing a word or a sound from the inside made him think that you were not there. It was fine, when it came to you patience was not his worst flaw. He could wait. He sat down on the greenish rug of the corridor and scrolled down on his phone, going through fan reactions, race recaps and articles for a good hour until he heard heels walking in his direction. He looked up and saw your surprised face, two bags full of groceries in your hands. He stood up and took them away from you, letting the bags rest on the floor before taking you in his arms and kissed you like he had never kissed you. You couldn’t help but melt in his embrace. You missed him more than you had initially thought.

“I thought you would be back in Maranello or in Monaco.” you said when you finally let go of each other.

“I have to, yes. But I needed to see you and to kiss you first. They don’t need me before three days. I missed you so much.”

You smiled as you kissed him again, letting him feel how much you had missed him too.

“Let’s not stay here. Come inside. Have you eaten anything? Do you want a drink?”

“I only want you.” he simply said as he put down his coat on your sofa as he instantly gazed at you. The mood shifted and you were suddenly feeling very hot. Slowly he walked to you and trapped you against the counter looking down on your parted lips. “ I want to kiss you and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stop myself from going further.” he admitted, his voice raspier than usual.

You gulped and threw an arm around his neck, bringing him even closer to you.

“What if I don’t want to stop you?”

He didn’t need more to kiss you one last time before making you jump into his arms and carry you to your bedroom.

Austria went on in a blink of an eye. You had not been this excited for a race in a very long time, if not ever. It was the first time you were there as Charles’ girlfriend and you had to admit that sneaking away to spend some time together here and there was making the whole experience thrilling. You would hide every chance you would get for a quick kiss. Flirty jokes were told whenever you would cross paths and you would even dare to brush slightly your fingers with his. His post qualifying interview was a mix of professionalism and subtle flirt attempts that made you blush and you blessed everything that you could think of that your face wasn’t shown on camera or it would have caught you blushing. And when he finally came back to you after the race and after a wonderful P2, it was almost like he wasn’t giving a fuck about being subtle anymore which earned him a glare from your side as he was leaving you with a wink. Walking out of the media pen, you quickly texted him.

No reward for you mister.

And you made your way out of the paddock and to your hotel. It had been a hell of a weekend and all you were thinking about was a good bath, with a book and classical music playing in the background. When you were done, feeling fresh and relaxed, you started to pack your bags and clean your stuff as you had a plane to catch early the next day. You replayed the interviews you had done the whole weekend to try to see if there was any way you could improve for the next race and paused them when needed while you were sometimes taking notes. You didn’t hear at first the knock on your door and it only startled you as it got louder. Annoyed, you went to open it and barely had time to recognise your boyfriend as his hands circled your waist and his lips found yours. It was urgent and feverish. Nothing slow or romantic, he wasn’t there to talk.

“What are you doing here?” you asked but was quickly reduced to silence as he threw you on the bed and soon joined you, his interview realized a few hours earlier still playing.

When you woke up the next day, he was already up, tenderly looking at you, carefully drawing patterns on your arms from the tip of his fingers, making you shiver. He was far from the devilishly handsome act he had played for you the previous night. He brushed a strand of hair falling down on your face and kissed your forehead as you got closer, resting your head on his bare chest and your hand where his heart was beating loudly.

“You know what you are to me?” he whispered.

“Your girlfriend?”

“You’re my sweet escape. My little piece of heaven away from the mess which is this season.”

You felt yourself melting at his words.

Silverstone was not as joyful as Austria, unfortunately. Even if Charles wanted to perform, he knew it would be tough. He was stressing out, pacing around his room, trying to find a sense of peace he knew he could only find if you were around, which was not the case. You were busy, probably the busiest you had ever been since the beginning of the season and didn’t have time for him. He was annoyed. You were so close yet so far away from him. It only made his bad mood worse. Bad mood which was accentuated after he ended up P9 after the race. He was more than just disappointed and not even seeing you waiting for him, a pitying smile on your face, could help making him feel better.

“Charles, what a disappointing race today after your P2 in Austria. Do you feel like it is a step back?”

Your question almost made him snap but he could see in your eyes how much it pained you to ask. He tried to stay professional and answered the best he could. He was relieved when you were done. For the first time in his life, he didn’t only want to perform well for his team and his family, he wanted to see your eyes shimmer too when he would step in the media pen. He didn’t want to see sadness in them and more than anything, he didn’t want to be the reason why. He met you in an empty area, where the garbage from the food court was displayed and thought to himself how shady your meeting place was. But his worries soon faded away as he saw you running to him and took his face into your palms to kiss him.

“I’m so, so sorry about the race, Charles. I swear my heart was beating so fast, I was so frustrated. And I wanted nothing more but to be there for you.”

“It’s like this… And you’re here now. That’s all that matters.Let’s go back to the hotel. Mine. I don’t want to let go of you tonight.”

“I’ll meet you there. I have to go to the post race debrief first. And I still have an interview linked up in an hour with an Aston engineer. This weekend is never ending, I swear.”

“It’s okay. Go. I’ll wait for you there.”

You kissed him one last time before leaving.

He waited for you in the lobby of the hotel, watching people and clients passing by without a care in the world. He was replaying the race in his head, overthinking what he could’ve, would’ve, should’ve done better but was interrupted by your arrival.

“I got lost on the way. It took longer than what I expected, I’m sorry.” you apologized.

“I don’t care. I’m just glad you made it. I was starting to think you got cold feet.”

“When it comes to you? Never, Leclerc. You have me now and I’m all in.”

He smiled, took your hand in his and guided you towards the elevator barely able to keep his hands to himself, making you laugh. You both acted careless and when he saw you froze, like a doe caught in the middle of headlights, he didn’t understand why. But when Pierre emerged from a dark corner, a teasing smile on his lips, he got it. He had forgotten to tell you that the Alpine’s driver knew about your relationship. He felt a wave of panic washing over you and making you stutter.

“Relax, Y/N. I promised Charles I wouldn’t say a word and I intend to keep that promise.”

You turned towards Charles.

“You told him?”

“I… It wasn’t planned… it just happened. I’m sorry.”

“I’m happy for you. Both. And I’m glad Charlie boy finally made his move on you, it was painful to watch him be so jealous. A bit pathetic too.” Pierre shrugged.

“What do you mean, finally? you asked Charles as Pierre was leaving, laughing.

Once in his room, Charles was very determined to make you forget about your encounter with Pierre. But as soon as the door closed behind him, he felt you being everywhere but with him.

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

“I realized something today.” you said, making him curious. “It’s getting harder and harder to interview you. Especially when I can see how a bad race is affecting you and all I want is to drop the mic and take you in my arms and hold you tight. At that moment, when you stepped in the media pen, I wanted to be everything but a journalist. The line between my work ethic and my personal life is getting blurrier by the minute. It’s scary, Charles.”

“I don’t want to be an obstacle to your job… or a chore.”

“You’re not.” you quickly reassured him and not wanting him to get your confession in the wrong way. “ I just have to find the right balance. But, I suppose it was bound to happen, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m falling for you. Hard and fast, Charles.”

Author's note: She finally admitted it! Still a fluffly chapter... for now. Not sure it will stay that way heheh. Enjoy it while you can.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism @roseamongthorns13 @aundercover @snowflakesfluff @fictional-l0v3r @queensassybitchsworld @jehun

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elisysd · 19 days

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Fanfic writers are like crows. If you give them treats (comments) they will bring you shiny things (fanfic)

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elisysd · 20 days

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ms girl what do you mean enjoy that feeling while you can??? PLS NOOO

🤷🏻‍♀️ what can I say? I like drama. It’s fun! Don’t you think? 👀😈🥰

#send anons #anon ask #thanks anon!#anonymous #elisys asks

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elisysd · 20 days

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giggLING, KICKING MY FEET AND TWIRLING AROUND MY ROOM

te-he

>:) anon

Enjoy that feeling while you can 👀😈

#>:) anon #send anons #anon ask #thanks anon!#anonymous #elisys asks

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elisysd · 20 days

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9. How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Your Song - Elton John

Since he had received your text Charles was excited. He had not stopped pacing his room, trying to come up with ideas to show you that he could be an amazing boyfriend, that you would trust him. He was excited and the little break between Barcelona and Montreal was the occasion to spend time with you. So, not saying a word to you, he rented a place in Paris for the week, hoping to spend time with you. He had a plan and he couldn’t wait to put it into action.

I’ll be in Paris for a few days starting from tomorrow. I was hoping to see you.

Sure, I would love that.

Maybe you can give me your work schedule? It could be easier to plan things.

He smiled when you gave it. You didn’t know what he had in mind, and trusting home with your work schedule so naively was cute. He arrived in Paris late at night, under the rain which made him instantly regretting the sun of Monaco. But you were worth every drop of rain, he knew it. That night he had a hard time finding sleep.

Your day had been eclectic, spent in the studio recording your voice over for the Alpine documentary and working on the next episodes which would be filmed in the upcoming weeks. You were dreaming of going back home, a nice bubble bath and a take away eaten in front of a trashy reality show.

You packed your bag, said goodbyes to your colleagues who were still there and made your way out. You were not excited at the idea of taking the subway. It was always crowded at this time of the day. You badged your way out, wished a good evening to the lady at the reception desk and almost had a heart attack when you noticed Charles, leaning against a rented car, all dressed up in a black suit and with a huge bouquet of red roses in his hand. As you walked to him, you couldn’t help but smile and blush when he handed you the flowers.

“Thank you. What are they for?” you asked as he opened the door for you.

“Because I wanted to. Get used to it, that’s something that will happen a lot when you finally give us a chance.” he winked.

“How was your meeting?”

“Well… I might have lied to you. I don’t have any meetings. I just didn’t want to scare you off by telling you that I was coming here only for you.”

“You didn’t have to, you know. I mean, I appreciate it, truly. But I don’t want to take away from you time that you could use to train.”

“Don’t worry about that.” he smiled, putting a hand on your knee and squeezing it.

In front of your building, you suddenly didn’t want to leave.

“Do you want to come inside for a drink?” you asked.

“Not today, I have a call with my brother about something work related, and I’m not lying this time, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” when he leaned in and kissed your cheek, you thought you were about to faint.

You couldn’t focus the next day at work. You couldn’t help but think about Charles and what he had planned. You didn’t know what to expect but frankly, you didn’t care. You were trusting him enough to let yourself go with the flow. He wouldn’t hurt you, he cared about you enough to go out of his way for you. It felt nice. You were distracted the whole day, something unusual to you to the point Marion didn’t hesitate to tease you about it.

“Your head is in the clouds, missy, today. Who is to blame? A good lover?”

You blushed violently, stumbled on your words and immediately apologized, pretending you had a call to take, making Marion laugh. You avoided everyone the whole day, focusing on your tasks and hoping no one would bother you. And finally when you got out, you found Charles in the exact same position as the previous day. Instead, this time, it was a box of chocolate in his hands and not a bouquet of flowers. He drove you again again, and when you asked him if today he wanted to come inside, he refused once again.

“Let me be a gentleman, okay? And a true one doesn’t get inside the flat of the girl he fancies before the first date.”

“And when should I expect this first date?”

“Tomorrow.” he smiled.

It couldn’t come fast enough. You met him the next day, the same way as before but this time it was not a box of chocolate or flowers that were waiting for you. It was a teddy representing a pressing horse and you laughed at the sight. It was so cheesy that it was starting to get cute and you felt bad to not be able to do even half as much as he was doing. He asked you all about your day which you were happy to tell him with impressive details and before you were aware of it, you were at the restaurant. He helped you get out of your coat and you swore he checked you out for a moment and all of a sudden; you were very glad to have chosen your favorite little black dress. He was also elegantly and simply dressed in a white shirt and black jeans.

He led you in a quiet area where no one would bother you and when finally silence settled, you started to feel uncomfortable. You didn’t know what to say an you were glad when he took the lead.

“So, you’ve never told me where you were from.”

“I’m from the south east of France.” you replied checking the drink menu.

“Really? Near Monaco?”

“God no. No offense, it’s a pretty city. I’m from Avignon. It’s what? Three hours away?”

“If you respect the speed, I guess.” he laughed as you threw a napkin to his face. “How was it, growing up there?”

“Very nice. It’s a pretty city, a bit medieval and I was lucky to be able to grow up in a very cultural environment. We have a big festival, you know. I used to work there when I was younger. And by younger I mean when I was like… thirteen? I think?”

“Is that even legal?”

“Absolutely not! But most of the people coming during summer are people from Paris who don’t know the city that much so they are ready to pay locals big money to promote their shows. Some summer I was making maybe two thousands euros which is insane when you think about it.”

“What were your parents saying?”

“They didn’t know! What did you want me to tell them? They would have stopped me from going and they had other things on their plate with Luc.” your smile disappeared.

“So you have good memories from that time.”

“I love Avignon. I miss it sometimes but my parents made me hate the idea of coming back. They tarnished the city for me.I have a strained relationship with them. My mom especially. My dad is more passive than her.”

“Do you mind if I ask what happened? If I overstep…”

“You don't. I mean, it’s not a big secret or whatever. My mom thinks I’m responsible for Luc's death, as twisted as it sounds. She thinks that if I had not introduced him to F1, he would still be there. It’s stupid I know. And she hates me for leaving for New York when his health started to worsen. I should have said, he was more important than any other stupid dreams I was chasing.”

“And how did you get into F1 in the first place?” Charles asked, curious.

“From my grandad. He was a huge fan. He died a few years ago when I was about to start college. See, this is what I mean when I say that this job is important to me. I do it for me, but also for the people I love and lost along the way.” you explained, a sad look on your face.

“I understand. More than what you can believe.” he whispered, taking your hand in his.

He didn’t need to say more, you knew exactly what he was referring to.

“You’re talking about your dad and Jules.” he nodded and you rushed to add. “I feel bad to know about that but at the same time it’s part of my job and…”

“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to act surprised. But yeah, I know what it is like to put so much pressure on yourself in order to make people proud. I know they are proud of me, from where they are. But no matter how much I know it…”

“You can’t help it. If you’re not proud enough of yourself you feel like you’re failing them.” you finished.

“Exactly. If I fail, it means failing them too.”

You moved to lighter topics until it was late in the night and you were starting to yawn. Charles paid the bills and soon you made your way to your residence building. Once there, Charles stopped the engine and a comfortable silence fell in the car. You leaned back against the seat as he looked at you, the reflection of the moon shining in his eyes. You looked at him with the same intensity and he slowly proceeded to close the space between both of your bodies, giving you enough time to back off if you wanted to.

“Charles…” you breathed, thinking about everything that could go wrong.

“Don’t… close your eyes and imagine a world away from responsibilities and complications, a world where it’s only you and I. How does it feel?”

“Perfect.” you admitted.

“Then, hold onto that feeling.”

Opening your eyes you saw him closer than ever. So close that you could see the different shades of green and blue in his eyes. Your gaze fell on his parted lips and when you looked up again, you slightly nodded, giving him the final sign he needed before capturing your lips with his. You didn’t think twice, putting a hand behind his neck as your other one moved to his cheek, trying to get him even closer to you. You felt his weight on you as he pressed you against the door of the car. It was uncomfortable but you didn’t care. all you could feel was him and you didn’t want it to stop. Never. When he finally broke the kiss, you felt cold all of the sudden, your body searching for the heat he had provided in such a short while.

“What does it mean now?” you asked

“Whatever you want it to mean.”

“I want that. I want what's going on between us, but can we take it slow?”

“Of course, your pace is mine.”

“And… I want to keep it between us. No one can find out.”

Author's note: A little fluffy chapter... everything seems to progress really well between them. A little too well maybe. What do you think? 👀

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism @roseamongthorns13 @aundercover @snowflakesfluff @fictional-l0v3r @queensassybitchsworld @jehun

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elisysd · 24 days

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my heart-rate while reading the new chapter : 📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈

(atleast they kissed) (not in those circumstances tho....) (also the hannah montanna reference)

>:) anon

You know me. You know I don’t like to make it easy for my characters 😌 And I’m glad you picked up the HM reference hehehe 👀

#>:) anon #send anons #anon ask #thanks anon!#anonymous #elisys asks

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elisysd · 26 days

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If you super boop me and i dont super boop back, i promise its just cause im on mobile

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elisysd · 26 days

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8. Need you more than I want to

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack : Shameless - Camila Cabello

He was the last person you expected to be in front of your door, but here he was. Seeing him there, a little disheveled, his hair a mess, had the effect of sobering you up.

“What are you doing here?” you asked. “How did you get my room number?”

He didn’t answer, only arched an eyebrow and it made you sighed. You were annoyed, frustrated, in total disbelief. You couldn’t understand why he was there. You couldn’t find a justification that would be important enough for him to find you there.

“I have my ways to get what I want.”

“Of course… little prince of Monaco. It comes with perks. One of them being to disturb the privacy of people, I assume.” you bitterly commented.

“I want an explanation”

“You want an explanation?” you repeated.

“Your behavior, your questions! I don’t understand them! I don’t understand you! I thought we were friends, that we built something and you are still the annoying girl I’ve met the first time in Bahrain! What did I do? I deserve to know.”

“You deserve? Deserve? Who do you think you are? It’s not because we have a good relationship outside of the tracks that I have to change the ways I do my job. I’m not here to please you, I’m not here to praise you, I’m not here to pat you on the back. It’s not what is asked from me. If you don’t like it, that is your problem not mine. I’m staying professional out there.”

You were harsh, you knew it and saying you were enjoying drawing a line between your personal relationship with Charles and the one you had on the tracks, was a big fat lie.

“And where was your professionalism when you were dancing and flirting with Mick?” he asked, furious.

You took a step back, as if his bitter question had physically hurt you. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes. You briefly closed them and proceeded to ignore him as you made your way to your door, not hesitating to push him a little. You wouldn’t make him the pleasure to see you hurt. You fumbled with your key until you managed to open your door and entered the room. You were not quick enough to prevent Charles from following you inside.

“Mick is my friend.”

“So you do make friends with some drivers, nice to know. Make you even more hypocrite than I thought.”

“Mick and I understand each other. Not that I should justify myself to you.”

“I understand you too! I try to! I’m trying here, can’t you see? But you prefer to push me away because you know what? You are scared. You are scared of the bond we could have. So you’re fleeing, like a coward.”

It made you snap.

“You have no right to stand here and judge me. When did I give you the permission to do so? We are friends. I let you in, despite everything I let you in. I told you about my brother, I let you see me be vulnerable, I’ve done more things with you than with any other drivers and here you are, asking for what? More? I give you enough, Charles! And maybe I could give you even more but I need time! I need to find the right balance between professional and personal and yeah, fine, maybe it was not right of me to be like that with you. But I’m trying! I will make mistakes but I don’t want you to throw them in my face every damn time. And if you can’t handle that, then maybe it’s best if you leave and if we stop being friends.”

You swore you had seen a flash in his eyes and before you even had time to register what was happening, you felt his hands around your waist and his lips on yours, kissing you like his life depended on it. Before you could even process it, you kissed him back as his teeth bit your lower lip. And that’s when you finally fully understood what was going on. You let go of him, took a step back and before you even knew it, you felt your hand moving on its own to slap his face, getting him out of the trance he was in.

“Y/N… I… I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know where that comes from, I…” he stuttered.

“Leave, Charles. I think it’s best.” you calmly answered, opening the door as you saw him rushing out, without a second glance to you.

You were a coward. He was right. Because if you had just an ounce of bravery you wouldn't seriously consider not attending Barcelona. How could you face him? How would you be able to do your job properly? Your thoughts were all over the place. You were thinking about his lips on yours, about his hands around your waist and how good it felt. He was even haunting you in your dreams. Very sweet dreams that were making you blush whenever you were thinking about them. As the race was approaching you were feeling more and more anxious to the point your work was starting to pay the price, something Marion ended up noticing. When she confronted you, you simply said that you were not feeling good lately.

“If you want to skip Barcelona, you can. I can cover for you. I know how tiring traveling can get. If you need to sit this one out, don’t worry, okay?” she reassured you and never you had felt so relieved.

“I want to come, I just don’t feel good enough for the interviews.”

“So you can be in the pitlane at the start, if it is more convenient for you.”

“I would like that.”

“Did something happen? You loved the interviews.” she asked.

“No!” you answered a little too fast for your liking. “It’s just the perspective of staying in a crowded place, with little space to move… And I want to experiment something new.”

“Then it is settled! The pitlane will be waiting for you.”

Hell on earth. That’s what Barcelona felt like to Charles. He was not happy at all about his performance, nor was he of the team’s. He was pissed off. About everything but as much as he was trying to convince himself otherwise, he knew the underlying issue. An issue that could be summed up in five letters. A kiss. A stupid kiss. It was a mistake and he couldn’t believe how stupid he could have been? His multiple texts, sent as apologies, had stayed unanswered. But he understood. He messed up, probably scared you off and he was the only one to blame.

“Charles, you have to leave the room, I don’t want an aggressive driver during our meetings.” Fred had firmly said when he had blown up in anger.

He couldn’t let his private life influence his driving and his relationship with the team. And he couldn’t keep lying to himself. He had to act on his feelings properly or he had to forget about you. There was no in between. But in any case, he had to talk to you and you had to listen. He knew you were around and he was determined to make you listen.

Y/N

Can we talk?

We have to.

We NEED to.

He saw his texts immediately opened and it gave him hope.

Please. It won’t be long.

When he noticed the three dots indicating you were typing he almost let out a sigh of relief.

You’re right. We have to.

You sent him your address and the time she would be there. An hour. It was a lot of time to think about what he was going to tell you and at the same time it was not enough. He felt like a high school teenager about to confess to his crush and he felt so stupid. It had never happened to him before. He usually was confident around women, he knew how good looking he was and how charming he could be. But with you, he was a mess. You were making him so nervous. A mix of good kind and bad kind. He didn’t know how you would react, if you would slap him again or kiss him until you both would be out of breath. He liked an option better than the other.

He had bought tulips on his way to your door. And when he was in front of it, he suddenly found the idea very stupid. It’s not like you would be able to keep them. But it was reassuring for him, maybe it would make you smile. The door finally opened, revealing you, still in your work clothes. You were so pretty. He had always noticed it but today you were pretty in a candid way. It made him gulp, especially since you were still very silent as you sat down on your bed looking at him, waiting for his next move. Move he had no idea what it would be. So he started pacing the room, hoping to find the right words, the flowers still in hands. He finally stopped, ran a hand in his hair and looked at you.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. Especially because of the reasons that led me to kiss you. I admit, I was jealous of Mick. A real and fat feeling of jealousy like I’ve never experienced before. Seeing you laugh with him and be your carefree self with someone other than me made me feel things I didn’t expect to feel. It was stupid and selfish to hope that the side of you that you've shown me in New York would be for me only. You told me about your brother, you gave me access to your life in New York, the way you acted around me and then the friendly texts… I think I got confused. Maybe I misread the entire situation. For that I’m sorry. Bur gosh, I’m not sorry to have kissed you. It made me realize that my feelings were everything but friendly. I have a crush on you. I like you a whole lot. It’s stupid, I know. But it is there. It exists. And I can’t help it.” he said in one breath.

You sighed and stood up, moving next to him and taking his free hand in yours.

“I can’t reciprocate it, Charles. I’m so sorry.”

“You can’t or you don’t, because these are two different things? he asked, slightly hurt but expecting your answer and when he saw you hesitating he knew not everything was lost. That he was right to hope.

“You’re nice and caring and you did it, you know. You showed me that there were not only assholes out there. Your presence in my life is a breath of fresh air and the companionship I didn't know I needed. I value our friendship. A lot more than what you can imagine. But I don’t want to sacrifice my career. It’s my dream and my little brother’s. He wanted to see me there and I won’t jeopardize it. I can’t. I would never forgive myself if I was messing it up. For Luc, I can’t do that.” you explained, tears in your eyes.

Charles slowly got closer, caressed your cheek and put two fingers under your chin in order to make you look at him. He could read the dilemma you were going through and it hurt him more than a rejection would have.

“I understand. But you don’t have to choose. You can have your career and you can have me.”

You shook your head.

“As much as I would like it, it doesn’t work like that, Charles. I don’t think it’s possible.”

“And I think you’re wrong. Let me show you that you can have the best of both worlds.”

You let out a small laugh. He would not give up.

And his promise started the next day as you were checking in at the airport.

“You’ve been upgraded to first class, Miss.”

“Wait, what?” you asked, as Marion and Jean let out an impressed sigh.

“Well, you’re registered as a first class passenger in our online base.”

“But how?” you insisted.

“I don’t know, miss, and it’s not really my problem now if you can move out of the way, you’re not the only passenger.”

You reluctantly moved to let Marion and Jean check in. As they were doing so, you took you phone out to find a text from Charles and suddenly, it was all clearer.

Would you be with me, that would become your daily life.

Those few words messed with your head during the whole flight and when you finally got back to your flat. You were exhausted. Your best friend was supposed to arrive soon and you hoped that she would be able to make you forget about Charles. You took a quick shower and soon the doorbell rang, telling you that she had arrived. She jumped into your arms, begging you to tell her everything.

“I don’t have much to tell. It was work, you know.” you avoided her look on you, preparing water to boil.

She sneaked next to you and moved her head to the side, her eyes staring at you, making you uncomfortable.

“There’s something you are not saying.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You can never shut up about your job when I ask you questions and I find you very quiet right now. Spill.”

And you spilled. In details, from the moment you met Charles to Miami, to New York and the kiss in Monaco, ending your story to his confession in your hotel room. You were out of breath when you finished talking and you could feel your cheeks burning.

“Atta girl. You have an F1 driver at your feet and you don’t jump on the occasion? What is wrong with you? “

“Why can’t anyone understand that it might cause conflicts with my job? Like bias, conflicts of interests… I can’t!” you sighed, annoyed.

“Okay, fine, I get it. Now let me ask you something different. Imagine you’re not a journalist. In another world, you and Charles work a very tedious 9 to 5 job. You both end up in a bar, for an after work event. He sees you across the room, you do too and you think that damn, he is good looking. And he finds you pretty too. So he comes and buys you a drink that you accept, because who says no to free alcohol? Anyway, you have a chat and it lasts until the bar has to close. You were so deep into your conversation that you both didn’t notice the crowd leaving and the hour approaching the early hours of the next day. And then, he asks you out for a real date, because he finds in you everything he is searching for. What are you saying?”

You closed your eyes, imagined the scene and let a warm and comforting feeling settle in your chest. A smile escaped you. It felt nice. Peaceful. For the first time in a very long time, you felt excited about the perspective of something new, no matter how scary that could be.

“I would have said yes.” you replied, opening your eyes.

“Then maybe you should hold onto that and give the poor guy a chance. You never know what could happen.” she smiled.

And when she finally left your flat, after hours of talking, you took your phone and sent a text to Charles. A bold and thrilling feeling running through your body when you press send.

Do you still want to prove to me that I can have the best of both worlds?

Author's note: Happy Easter everyone! Here's a little gift from me to you to celebrate! I knew you were waiting for that kiss... hehe

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Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism @roseamongthorns13 @aundercover @snowflakesfluff @fictional-l0v3r

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