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let-me-write-shit · 4 years

Note

can you write a little something about Harry and reader finding out the gender of their baby after a long time of trying?

Ok, first of all, I’m SOOO sorry for taking so long to write this while I finished up my story. When I got this request, I got super emotional because this happened with me and my husband. So the story I wrote is our actual story. I hope you like it.

Word Count: 2,950

Requests are OPEN! If you have a request for a blurb, oneshot, imagine, whatever, Send me a message HERE!!!

And don’t forget to let me know what you think! Enjoy.

CLICK HERE TO READ OTHER COMPLETED STORIES

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Little Miracle

It had been two years. Two long and frustrating years. When Harry and Y/N first started talking about trying to get pregnant, it was exciting. They had been married for about three years at that point and Harry had finally started to slow down in his career a bit to focus a little more attention on his wife with the prospect of starting a family. But things hadn’t gone to plan. They didn’t expect to get pregnant on the first try. Maybe not even the second. But by month three, they started to get discouraged. Maybe their timing was off. Y/N’s period was irregular, after all, and their ideal of ‘letting it happen when it happens’ was starting to become easier said than done. So, Y/N started taking ovulation tests.

She took a text every single day for a week, and all of the tests came back negative. Not a big deal, there’s only three days of ovulation in a month. She continued to take them. The third week, nothing. Maybe her ovulation days were spread out further apart since her period was so irregular? By week five, Y/N began to worry, but she hadn’t lost hope, yet. She visited her OB/GYN who encouraged her to keep trying, try to stress less, and eat healthier. So she did. She started exercising, changing her diet, taking more vitamins, even starting couples yoga with Harry, doing everything within her power to live a better lifestyle. Nothing worked.

With every negative ovulation and pregnancy test they got, Y/N spirits dwindled. Harry began picking up more work, doing anything he could to distract himself from the ranges of emotions that were running through him. Of course, he wanted to have a baby with Y/N. She was the love of his life and to be able to bring a piece of both of them in this world would be the biggest blessing he could have imagined. But seeing the pain and heartache in Y/N’s eyes each day after another negative test felt like a stab in his chest.

He tried to do little things to take her mind off of it. Spontaneous dates, trips to the spa, exotic getaways, concerts, you name it. But when they got home at the end of the day, passing by the empty room they had always talked about one day making into a nursery, he saw the flicker of hope in her eyes die. It was even harder whenever tabloids speculated her pregnancy or friends and family asked when they would have a baby. They always played it off, simply saying ‘it’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen’, but the rage he felt whenever someone brought it up was something awful. It took everything in him not to lunge at the person joking about it. If only they knew, maybe they wouldn’t be so insensitive.

After a year and a half of trying, they decided to bite the bullet and meet with a fertility specialist to see what was going on. Harry had just finished a tour and they thought now was the perfect time to get serious again. Dozens of tests were done between bloodwork, urine screenings, semen samples, and finally an ultrasound. That’s when they were given the news. Y/N had a pretty severe case of PCOS. It was the cause of her irregular periods and the reason why it had been so difficult for her to conceive naturally.

The doctor had sat them down in a room to discuss what this meant. According to him, the chances of Y/N ever conceiving naturally, without medical intervention, were slim to none. And even though there were several medical and procedural routes they could go, the chances of a baby sticking, though not impossible, did not look to be in their favor. The look on Y/N’s face was enough to kill.

After the doctor laid out all of their options, he gave them some space to digest, and as soon as he left the room, Y/N collapsed into Harry’s arms. They had given up hope. What was the point in trying? Why go through all the pain and discomfort of medications and procedures for the high probability that it’d end in miscarriage? When they got home, they began discussing their options. There was always surrogacy and adoption. But the more they talked about it, the more frustrated Y/N got. She tossed all of her unused ovulation and pregnancy tests in a drawer under her bathroom sink and slammed it shut.

“Maybe we can get a second opinion about your PCOS,” Harry suggested, following her into their bedroom.

Y/N shook her head, shrugging her shoulders, and curling up on her bed, tired from all of the crying, “Maybe the universe is telling us we shouldn’t be parents. Maybe it’s just not time yet.”

Harry pouted, curling up with her, “Love, we’re going to have a baby. It may not have your eyes or my dimples, but we’ll have a family someday.”

Months had passed and Y/N continued to take her ovulation tests out of the habit of taking them every day for nearly two years, and every day they would still come up negative. It was Father’s Day, and after a long day celebrating with Y/N’s dad, the couple came home and got ready for bed. Y/N opened a drawer to her bathroom sink to get some floss and to take her daily ovulation test, setting it on the vanity counter before finishing her business, and as she washed her hands, she noticed the faintest extra line imaginable.

Laughing, she threw it in the trash, almost certain that it was either a false positive or a trick of the light. Still, with over four hundred negative ovulation tests under her belt, it was a bit strange. She didn’t mention anything to Harry, afraid he would think she was crazy. The number of times she had convinced herself she was pregnant because of a ‘feeling’ was starting to become ridiculous. But, what’s the harm in trying? Harry looked especially hot today with his hair extra floppy and the perfect amount of stubble on his chin. All it took was her dropping her dressing gown to get him in the mood.

But when the next day rolled around and her ovulation test was negative, she figured the previous night was just a dud. Typical. She had completely forgotten about it, her mind distracted by the fact that Harry had to leave for a few weeks to work on a new album, meeting with producers and mixers, songwriters, and masters in LA. Y/N stayed in their London home, spending time with his family and meeting up with friends.

The day Harry was supposed to return, she decided to get all dolled up for him. It had been a while since she had gone all out, and she wanted to surprise him. First thing’s first, she needed a shower. She stripped out of her clothes, tossing them in the hamper, and decided to use the bathroom real quick before she got in. The sink drawer was slightly ajar and she saw the outline of the unused pregnancy tests she never got the chance to take. She frowned, pulling it out of the drawer, all of the lost hopes and dreams fluttering away with this one pregnancy test. She should get rid of them. She sat on the toilet in thought for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. What’s one more test, for old time sake?

She held the test under her stream for a few seconds and shook it dry before tossing it to the ground, barely out of sight, knowing that the test would be negative like it always was. Besides, she had no symptoms of being pregnant. She felt fine. So, she finished her business and washed her hands. But just as she was about to get in the shower, she happened to look down and saw it. It was faint. Very faint. But it was there. Two blue lines.

Fully naked and one foot wet, she rushed over and grabbed it off the floor, pulling it to her face and holding it up to the light to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. But no matter how she turned it, she couldn’t unsee the two lines.

“Nope. It’s just a false positive,” she told herself before tossing it on the counter and getting in the shower.

But she could barely focus. Her mind kept wandering back to the test. Was it possible? She remembered the ovulation test she had taken on Father’s Day. Maybe she had ovulated. Maybe she was pregnant. No. Not possible. But….maybe?

It was a good thing she drank so much water that morning because when she got out of the shower, she had to pee again. This time, she made sure to get a cup to pee in, wanting to try multiple tests, just in case. She dipped three into the cup and set them on the counter, leaving to get dressed before returning. She took a deep breath, trying not to get her hopes up, before looking down. And her heart began to race. All three, barely visible, had two lines. Were they too faint? Did that mean she wasn’t pregnant?

So, to be sure, she took out the big guns. An electric pregnancy test. She needed to see the words. It wouldn’t be clear until she got a definitive answer. Pregnant or Not Pregnant. So she dipped it in and saw the little hourglass blink, and watched as the bar got closer and closer to completion. It took a moment to register, but when she saw it, an audible gasp escaped her as she clapped her hands over her mouth and stepped back.

Pregnant

“Oh my god!” she cried, tears rolling down her face in streams.

She picked it up, put it down, and picked it back up again to make sure she was reading it right. Pregnant.

Y/N had always imagined telling Harry in a cute, fun way. Putting a bun in the oven, or with a game of Pictionary. Maybe even a little onesie. But all of that went out the window. He was going to be home any minute and there was no way she could keep this to herself long enough to figure out how to tell them. It was something they had been waiting on for two years. She wouldn’t wait another second.

She gathered all of the tests she had taken, capped them so nothing could be exposed to the pee, and took them down to the dining room table, scattering them around and staring at them. Her leg shook, anxious for her husband’s arrival, and she bit her fingernails, still in shock that this was even happening. The beeping of the motion sensor went off, signaling that the front door had been opened and Harry’s voice rang through the house.

“Y/N?! I’m home! Where are you?!”

She tried to shout, but she couldn’t find her voice. The butterflies flapped around in her stomach like crazy and she felt like she could vomit from the nerves. It only took seconds for him to find her, though. He wore sweats and his hair looked almost greasy from his long flight home, a smile had stretched across his face at the sight of her. But it quickly turned into confusion when he neared.

“What’s this?” he asked, looking at the objects scattering the table as he got closer.

He picked one up to examine and upon seeing what it was, his eyes widened, gasping, “What? No way?” he put the test that he had been holding down and quickly grabbed another one, and another, and another, repeating, “Is that a line? Y/N, is that a line?” before finally grabbing hold of the electric test that read ‘Pregnant’. He gripped it tight, finally looking up at his wife, tears rimming his eyes, “You’re pregnant? We’re going to be parents?”

Y/N grinned, her eyes beginning to water, and nodded, “We’re going to be parents.”

Harry lost it, unable to control his emotions anymore. Two years of pent up sadness had blown out of him and he bawled, collapsing into Y/N’s arms and squeezing her tightly, blubbering, “I’m going to be a dad.”

They waited a while before telling anyone, terrified of their fertility doctor’s prediction that their baby would most likely not stick. But after three months of regular appointment and growth checkups, all of which looked great, they felt comfortable enough to tell their immediate family and very close friends, all of whom were beyond thrilled for the couple.

It was easy to hide her pregnancy for a while. She had no symptoms, she hardly showed, and it was at a time where Y/N and Harry hardly left their house anyway, so most people hadn’t suspected anything. They had managed to get halfway through the pregnancy without any leaks, and finally, at their twenty-week checkup, they would be finding out whether they were having a boy or girl.

They were especially nervous because, although they had been tossing names in the air for months now and had a boy’s name picked out almost right away, they hadn’t been able to agree on a girl name quite yet, and Y/N was almost certain they were having a girl, though Harry had been adamant that it was a boy.

“I don’t care, either way. I just want to know what kind of laugh they’ll have,” Harry said as the ultrasound technician moved the wand around his wife’s belly, taking measurements of all of the baby’s extremities and organs. “Like, will it have that cute high-pitched baby laugh? Or will it have one of those laughs that sounds like demonic possession, you know? I just want to be prepared for what I might hear in the middle of the night.”

Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes, “I hope they have a demonic laugh. Imagine how much more fun Halloween would be? And everyone would be too creeped out by their laughing to want to stay too long. Imagine all of the awkward or boring situations we could get out of because of it.”

Harry’s eyebrows raised, “Well, when you put it like that…”

The nurse giggled at their conversation and turned to face them, “Okay, are we ready to find out the gender?”

“Yes,” they grinned, squeezing each other’s hands tighter.

“Alright, let’s see if baby’s cooperating,” sang the technician, sliding the wand down further and pressing it harder into her skin. They saw their baby’s legs moving around wildly as she tried to get a better look in between their legs, digging the wand in harder. And that’s when they saw it. They shared a look with each other, mouths agape, as the nurse smiled, “It’s a boy.”

Y/N laughed, turning to face her husband, expecting him to start gloating. But she saw the reflection of light hit the water that started to collect at his lash line and a single tear rolled down his cheek, his chin quivering and sniffling as he quickly wiped it away.

“We’re having a boy,” he choked, catching his breath and pressing his lips to her forehead, his hand squeezing hers even harder now. The nurse grinned at his display of emotion as Harry whispered into her ear, “Paxton Robin Styles.”

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Taglist: @odetostep

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ckneal · 3 years

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So this is a dumb one, but it occurred to me while talking to a friend earlier and now I can't stop thinking about it.

When I was first getting into books, I went through a trashy romance novel phase, where I once read a story framed around this one rich guy who had a ridiculous number of kids. Twelve, twenty, maybe more--I can't remember. The people in the town where he lived were constantly joking about how ridiculously fertile he was, made all the worse because he was also evidently a man-whore. The poor guy could barely smile at a woman without a baby coming from it. In the story, it's eventually revealed that he is not actually all that fertile or sexually experienced, but is actually just a huge softie, and all the poorer families in town understood they could leave babies on his doorstep and he would raise them as his own, no questions asked.

There's a part of me that kind of wants to see the first part of this concept somehow applied to a human AU, with Chuck actually being that fertile and just having an ongoing stream of kids coming into his house. With Chuck still being the worst dad. He's constantly in the background, calling up condom companies to complain about their products never working, and arranging paternity tests that he doesn't tell the kids in question are paternity tests--like, he'll pick up a toddler-aged Zachariah and play a few half-assed peek-a-boo games with him, then abruptly stick a cotton swab in the kid’s mouth for a DNA sample, hand him off to a sixteen-year-old Michael, and say he's got to go. Has to stop by the post office on the way to his tinder date. Don't wait up.

And Michael's just like, "This is perfectly normal."

Later when Chuck comes home, Michael will still be awake, humming to himself while heating up a bottle in the kitchen. He'll greet Chuck with, “Welcome home, father! I hope you had a great night. Someone dropped off twins. We've named them Anna and Hannah."

Any time an outsider asks if someone is adopted, Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, and Gabriel all say no in unison and look at the person in question as if they’ve just asked the rudest question imaginable.

Adam and Michael are assigned to work together for a school project. At first they try working together in the library during lunch, but Adam points out that they’re not getting the work done fast enough in that limited amount of time. Which is true, but Adam also has a crush on Michael and wants to get to know him better. They wind up going to Michael’s house, because Michael needs to help Lucifer, Raphael, and Gabriel take care of the children. Adam is not put off by this, but then it comes out that Michael's afraid to engage in any kind of amorous behavior because Chuck's always grumbling under his breath about how he can barely even says hello to someone without making a baby, and he's never actually sat any of his children down to have The Talk.

Michael's lack of knowledge comes out one day when Adam and Michael share a scandalous moment--HOLDING HANDS.

"Wait, are you saying. . .Michael, we can't make a baby no matter what we do."

"Why not? Contraceptives are a scam."

Adam takes a moment to just digest that answer. Due to his own family situation, Adam himself learned about the birds and the bees by way of daytime television, whereas the TV in the Shurley house is kept in a perpetual loop of Disney movies and Blue’s Clues reruns. And he’s met Chuck. He reasons to himself that it’s not that crazy for Michael to be the age that he is and still be that in the dark.

"Michael--where do you think babies come from?"

"The front door."

Lucifer, who is also in the room, adds, "Sometimes the back door."

Adam tries his best to keep a straight face, but winds up snort-laughing as Gabriel, who is much more worldly than either of his brothers, calls from the hallway, where he's running back and forth while dragging a blanket loaded up with younger siblings along for the ride, "I ASSURE YOU THEY DO NOT!"

#michael's out there just picking babies off the front porch like they're door dash orders #they play a game--whoever's first to notice when there's a new baby outside gets to name it #lucifer is the one who named that one sibling with 18 syllables in her name that sam and dean meet in season 9--dean nicknamed her flagstaff #adam's the one who names esther #not realizing there's already a hester in the family #he's both flattered and extremely weirded out #midam #the divine shurley family #my thoughts

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javistg · 3 years

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A Second Chance CH 4.

Chapter 4 is ready!

I want to thank you all for your messages and support. I can't believe you've stuck with me and my story for this long and I'm incredibly grateful.

Also, I have added one more chapter to the story.

The next chapter is almost ready, but it won't be very long. It's just a short epilogue. Still, I hope it will be enough to answer all those questions I haven't answered so far.

In the meantime, thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy. ❤️

Based on prompt 110: A time travel AU: Katniss from Mockingjay, (any part of the book, it's up to you), winds up back the day before her sister's first reaping. What does she do now that she knows what's coming? Now that she knows how Peeta feels about her, and she knows how desperately she needs him, and what they could share? What on earth could she, or should she, even do/change? And what is she should lose it all again? [submitted by @wingletblackbird For EFE 2019]

Want to read from the start? Go to AO3 or FF.net

CHAPTTER 4.

Claudius Templesmith’s voice booms all around the arena. “Ladies and gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!”

As soon as the clock runs out, Katniss jumps from her platform and makes a beeline for the nearest backpack.

She’s almost at the tree line when she feels the impact of Clove’s knife sticking into her bag.

Right on cue, Katniss thinks as she slips into the woods.

Relying on her memory, she runs through the narrow paths and slopes until she reaches the lake. Getting on her knees, she shrugs the backpack off her shoulders and makes a quick inventory of its contents.

One thin black sleeping bag that reflects body heat. A pack of crackers. A pack of dried beef strips. A bottle of iodine. A box of wooden matches. A small coil of wire. A pair of night-vision glasses. And a half-gallon plastic bottle with a cap.

After filling her water bottle to the brim, Katniss starts walking again. She doesn’t want to go too far from the water —she refuses to deal with dehydration once more. Still, she tries to keep to the route she followed the first time she was there.

As she retraces her steps, she eventually comes across a familiar tree. A willow that’s not terribly tall but set in a clump of other willows, offering concealment in its long, flowing tresses.

She climbs up, sets her sleeping bag, straps herself to the branch, and waits.

The sky has already gone dark when she sees a small fire begin to bloom.

Katniss curses under her breath. Even now, she can’t bring herself to feel any sympathy for the tribute who’s decided to advertise their location in a place full of predators.

A few hours later, the Careers come traipsing through the forest. They’re about ten yards from her tree when an argument breaks.

Katniss grabs onto her branch and holds her breath in expectation.

Peeta’s words cut the bickering. “We’re wasting time! I’ll go finish her and let’s move on!”

Up on her tree, Katniss presses her lips together to contain her smile. The cameras are on her, watching her every move, and she stubbornly refuses to let the Capitol see her relief.

As Peeta walks away, she tries to conjure up all the anger and hurt she felt during her first Games so she can glare at him as he disappears from view.

XXXXX

Katniss runs through the woods, crushing branches and trampling down leaves and flowers in her rush to escape her nightmares, but it’s no use.

As the tracker-jacker poison courses through her veins —turning the world into a big shimmering bubble— Katniss berates herself for her carelessness.

She can’t believe her bow and arrows ended up stuck in Glimmer’s hands again; or that she needed Peeta’s warning to start moving.

Now, as she rushes through the forest trying to fight the ever-growing hallucinations, she knows that, once more, her clumsiness has placed Peeta’s fate in Cato’s hands.

Katniss turns a bend on the road. The earth shakes beneath her feet with the force of an explosion. She knows it’s not real, but she can’t fight it anymore. She sinks to her knees, exhausted, doomed.

Her nightmares have found her, and all she can do is give in.

XXXXX

Katniss wakes up a few days later to find her bow and arrows placed neatly by her side and Rue hiding behind a tree.

Together, the girls hunt and forage and --just like the first time-- their fast, easy friendship blossoms.

When the time comes for Katniss to leave to blow the Careers’ supplies up, she hesitates. Maybe I should take Rue down to the river, she thinks. We could dig Peeta from the mud and start treating him. The three of us could hide in the cave and…

With a shake of her head and a heavy heart, Katniss gives up. Thanks to Peeta’s intensive training for the Quarter Quell, she knows how that story ends. Alliances in the arena never last.

She would only be postponing Rue’s death. And for what? So that she can end up holding her mutilated body after a strange mutt kills her? The thought makes her shudder.

I need to weaken the Careers, she reminds herself as she walks towards the Cornucopia. Otherwise, Peeta and I won’t stand a chance.

XXXXX

Katniss is perched up on a tree, waiting.

A part of her mind is still consumed with Rue. Images of her, bloody and speared, play on a loop behind her eyes. She tries to block them out, to distract herself with something else, but she doesn’t have the strength; she’s too disgusted with herself.

Overcome by despair, Katniss hates the choices she’s made.

She hates that, despite having a second chance, she’s still helpless to do better, that she still thinks she has to put her life first.

As the sun sinks behind the trees, her mind flies back to Peeta. He’s somewhere out there, hurt, slowly bleeding to death by the stream.

She wants to drop this stupid pretense and rush to him, but she can’t.

There is one way out of this arena, and she needs to stick to her past actions to find it. So, Katniss wraps her arms around herself and waits.

She’s almost reached the end of her rope when the sky finally lights up. No deaths.

Her heart nearly jumps out of her chest when she hears the trumpets. Eager, she perks up in anticipation.

Claudius Templesmith’s voice blares down from overhead, congratulating the six tributes who remain. “There’s been a rule change in the Games. Under the new rule, both tributes from the same district will be declared winners if they are the last two alive.”

Claudius pauses, giving his audience time to digest the news. He repeats the change again, “Two tributes can win this year. If they’re from the same district.”

He’s barely finished speaking when Katniss reaches for her belt and begins unbuckling herself. The last time she was there, she waited for day to break, but she can’t do that this time. Not when she knows Peeta needs her.

With quick fingers, Katniss packs everything in her bag and slips the night-vision glasses on.

“Hold on, Peeta,” she says as she shimmies down the tree. “I’m on my way.”

XXXXX

As soon as she reaches the edge of the water, she realizes her mistake.

It’s a cold night. A bright round moon bathes the arena in pale light but, even with her glasses, that's not enough to make her way through the slippery mud.

Muttering obscenities under her breath, she backtracks until she finds a tree to spend the rest of the night.

With the first light of day, Katniss heads downstream.

After a while, the stream begins to curve to the left into a part of the woods where the muddy banks, covered in tangled water plants, lead to large rocks that increase in size.

Keeping her eyes to the ground, she spots a bloody streak going down the curve of a boulder.

Her heart picks up speed. Hugging the rocks, she moves, as quickly as she can, in the direction of the blood.

The blood trail stops. There’s no sign of Peeta.

She knows he’s close, though.

Crouching down, she whispers, “Peeta?”

The voice that answers back is hoarse and weak, but she would recognize it anywhere. “You here to finish me off, sweetheart?”

Katniss whips around.

“Peeta?” she whispers, biting back a smile. “Where are you?”

There’s no answer. So, Katniss creeps along the bank. “Peeta?”

“Well, don’t step on me.”

Katniss jumps back.

His voice is right under her feet. Still, there’s nothing.

Then his eyes open, unmistakably blue in the brown mud and green leaves.

Katniss’s gasp is rewarded with a hint of white teeth as he laughs.

“Close your eyes again,” she orders.

He does, and his mouth too, and completely disappears.

Katniss kneels beside him. “I guess all those hours decorating cakes paid off.”

Peeta smiles. “Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.”

“You’re not going to die,” she tells him firmly.

“Says who?” His voice is so ragged it makes her chest hurt.

“Says me. We’re on the same team now, you know,” she tells him.

Peeta’s eyes open. “So I heard. Nice of you to find what’s left of me.”

Katniss pulls out her water bottle and gives him a drink. “Did Cato cut you?”

“Left leg. Up high.”

Her heart drops, she had hoped Peeta would fare better this time around, but it seems that they’re exactly in the same situation as before.

At least I didn’t leave him lingering here while I had breakfast, she thinks as she helps him take a few more sips. “Let’s wash you off so I can see what kind of wounds you’ve got.”

“Lean down a minute first,” Peeta says. “Need to tell you something.”

She leans over and puts her good ear to his lips, which tickle as he whispers. “Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”

Katniss bursts out laughing. “Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.”

Remembering how hard it was to move him, she decides to skip that part and strip and clean him right where he is.

“Alright, let’s get you cleaned up,” she says as she begins digging into the mud and plants which seem to have imprisoned him.

To her surprise, Peeta shakily pushes his upper body away from the ground. A little push from her, and he’s sitting up.

His new position doesn’t last long, though. With a pained grunt, Peeta slumps against a nearby rock.

“How do you feel?” she asks, brushing the matted hair from his face.

“Woozy.”

Using her two water bottles and Rue’s water skin, she begins cleaning him up. It’s slow going. The water is cold, and he’s so caked with mud and matted leaves that she can’t even see his clothes.

When she’s done, she gently unzips his jacket, unbuttons his shirt, and eases them off him.

His undershirt comes next. It’s stained, but at least it’s not stuck to his skin.

“Can you lift your arms?” she asks.

Peeta complies, lifting one arm at a time and dropping them limply by his side as soon as he’s done.

With one last tug, Katniss pulls the undershirt over his head.

Tears well up in her eyes when she takes him in.

He’s badly bruised. There’s a long burn across his chest and a superficial cut on his arm. There’s also a bit of good news, though.

Only one of his tracker jacker stings looks bad. The skin around it is swollen and angry. The other three have been treated, Peeta's covered them with wads of chewed-up leaves.

“Did I do OK?” Peeta asks.

“You did great,” she tells him as she gently peels the dried leaves from his skin. “You only missed one.”

Peeta closes his eyes. His head lols back. “Where is it?”

“Right under your ear.” Carefully, she pours some cold water on the spot to clean it. Just looking at it makes her chest hurt. “Hold still,” she says as she digs the stinger out of the lump.

Peeta winces, but the minute she applies a fresh batch of chewed-up leaves, he sighs in relief.

Cleaning his clothes seems pointless right now that the sun isn’t hot enough to dry them. So, she uses the cleaner side of his undershirt to pat him dry and applies some burn cream to his chest.

His skin is warm but not excessively hot. This feels like good news but, Katniss isn’t sure. They’re out by the stream, and the nighttime chill hasn’t dissipated yet. The cold weather could be masking Peeta’s fever.

Since they can’t afford to waste any time, Katniss keeps going. Standing up, she shrugs off her jacket and gently drapes it over Peeta’s shoulders to protect him from the cold. Then, she digs through the first-aid kit she got from Marvel until she finds the pills that reduce temperature.

“Swallow these,” she tells him. Peeta obediently takes the medicine. “You must be hungry.”

“Not really,” says Peeta.

“We need to get some food in you,” she insists. Remembering what happened last time, she forgoes the groosling and gives him the dried apple instead.

“Can I sleep now, Katniss?” he asks after he’s had a few bits.

“I need to look at your leg first.”

Gently, she removes his boots and socks and then very slowly inches his pants off of him.

Her heart plummets when she sees the tear Cato’s sword made in the fabric over his thigh. Gritting her teeth, she keeps going.

As Peeta’s leg comes into view, Katniss gasps.

The wound isn’t exposed. Just like the tracker jacker stings, it’s been covered with leaves.

With trembling fingers, she carefully removes the green plaster.

The wound is terrible, a deep inflamed gash, but Peeta’s done a better job of taking care of it. It’s not oozing as much blood or pus as it did the last time.

“Pretty awful, huh?” says Peeta. He’s watching her closely.

Katniss shrugs. “I’ve seen worse,” she tells him honestly. “I just need to clean it well.”

Scooting her square of plastic under him, Katniss begins washing down his lower half.

Except for Cato’s cut, Peeta’s legs have fared pretty well. There’s one more tracker jacker sting, which he’s also cured, and a few minor burns that she treats quickly.

After pouring a few water bottles over it, the wound doesn’t look any better but, at least, it doesn’t look any worse.

Katniss applies a handful of chewed-up tracker jacker leaves to the wound. Within minutes, pus begins running down the side of Peeta’s leg. She repeats the process. This time, very little pus comes out.

“What next, Dr. Everdeen?” Peeta asks.

“I have a bandage I can use, but there’s something I need to do first.” Reaching behind her, Katniss pulls out Rue’s backpack. “Here, cover yourself with this, and I’ll wash your shorts.”

“Oh, I don’t care if you see me,” says Peeta.

Katniss sets her jaw. Anger and humiliation rush through her veins as an image of Johanna --stripping in front of Peeta-- comes to her mind.

Fixing him with a blistering glare, she growls, “I care, all right?”

With an aggravated huff, Katniss stands up and turns to look at the stream.

As she waits for Peeta to shimmy out of his undershorts, his words come back to her. “For the Capitol, you’re pure,” he had said, clearly trying to mollify her. “For me, you’re perfect.”

Placated by the memory, Katniss sighs.

As soon as Peeta’s undershorts splash into the current, she turns to look at him.

There he is, her boy with the bread, so strong and fierce and brave. He looks small right now, pale and weak and vulnerable, but she’s not worried. Peeta's done better this time, and he’s going to push through. Just as he always does.

Katniss walks over to him and puts a few dried pear halves in his hand. “I'm going to wash your clothes. In the meantime, you eat these,” she says before heading down to the stream.

XXXXX

Katniss holds the small vial of sleep syrup in the palm of her hand. She doesn’t like what she’s about to do, but she knows she has no choice.

Peeta’s condition is not as critical as the last time. She’s managed to keep his fever from spiking, but the wound on his leg isn’t getting any better.

Besides, if she doesn’t go to the feast, Thresh won’t kill Clove.

With grim resolve, she gets to work. She mashes up a handful of berries and adds some mint leaves for good measure. Then she heads back up to the cave.

“I’ve brought you a treat,” she tells Peeta, “I found a new patch of berries a little farther downstream.”

XXXXX

“You better run now, Fire Girl,” Thresh tells her.

Katniss doesn’t need to be told twice. She flips over, digging her feet into the hard-packed earth, and runs away from Thresh and Clove and the sound of Cato’s voice.

She reaches the woods and keeps going. Blood pours into her eye, but she just swipes it away.

After a few minutes, she hears the cannon. Clove has died.

When she finally reaches the water, she slows down. She’s fairly certain Cato headed out after Thresh. Still, she doesn’t want to waste any time.

Katniss pulls off Rue’s socks, which she’d been using for gloves. Setting them aside, she splashes water over her forehead to clean the cut.

Moving quickly, she presses the socks to her forehead to staunch the flow of blood.

She knows the socks will be soaked in minutes. So, she reaches for the bandage in her small backpack and wraps it, as tightly as she can, around her forehead.

That should do the trick, she thinks, standing up to continue her trek downstream.

She makes it back to the cave in record time.

After squeezing through the rocks, she pulls the little orange backpack from her arm, cuts open the clasp, and dumps the contents on the ground—one slim box containing one hypodermic needle.

Without hesitating, she jams the needle into Peeta’s arm and slowly presses down on the plunger.

Exhausted, Katniss sighs. Her head is throbbing.

Her hands go to her forehead. When they drop back on her lap, she sees they’re clean.

After taking one of the fever pills, Katniss snuggles next to Peeta and drifts off.

XXXXX

Cato rushes through the woods, making a beeline for the Cornucopia.

Without question, Katniss follows him.

Her hands have just landed on the metal at the pointed tail of the Cornucopia when she turns back to look at Peeta. He’s not that far behind, but the mutts are closing in on him fast.

She sends an arrow into the pack, and one goes down, but there are plenty to take its place.

Peeta waves her up the horn, “Go, Katniss! Go!”

Katniss starts climbing, scaling the Cornucopia on her hands and feet. The pure gold surface has been designed to resemble a woven horn, so there are little ridges and seams to get a decent hold on. But after a day in the arena sun, the metal feels hot enough to blister her hands.

Cato lies on his side at the very top of the horn, twenty feet above the ground, gasping to catch his breath as he gags over the edge.

Katniss stops midway up the horn, loads another arrow, and points it at him, but just as she’s about to let it fly, she hears Peeta cry out. She twists around.

Peeta’s just reached the tail, and the mutts are right on his heels.

“Climb!” she yells.

Peeta starts up while Katniss keeps her eyes on the mutts. When one of them places its paws on the metal, she shoots her arrow down its throat.

Peeta reaches her feet. She grabs his arm and pulls him along.

Remembering Cato is waiting at the top, she whips around. He’s still doubled over with cramps and apparently more preoccupied with the mutts than with his fellow tributes.

This is my chance, Katniss thinks. She’s replayed this moment hundreds of times in her mind. She’s ready.

At the bottom of the Cornucopia, the mutts are beginning to assemble. Katniss can hear their calls for blood. She knows they won’t stop until they get it.

She tugs Peeta’s arm to get his attention. “Think you could push him over?”

Peeta glances at Cato. He still hasn’t regained his feet, but his breathing is slowing. Soon he’ll be recovered enough to come for them and hurl them over the side to their deaths.

“Shoot straight,” Peeta says before taking a step in Cato’s direction and crouching.

Katniss aims her arrow at Cato’s head.

In. Out. Katniss breathes as she tries to block out the sounds of the mutts sniffing and tasting the metal, scraping paws over the surface, and making high-pitched yipping noises to one another.

Smirking, Cato pushes himself up and ducks his head under his arm to deflect the attack.

Katniss’s arrow flies and reaches its mark, piercing right through Cato’s unprotected hand.

Cato cries out and doubles over in pain just as Peeta slams against him.

Knocked off balance, Cato plummets to the ground.

XXXXX

“Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed,” Claudius Templesmith says. “Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor.”

Katniss looks at Peeta in dismay. She’s exhausted. She just wants the whole thing to be over.

“If you think about it, it’s not that surprising,” Peeta says softly as he pulls the knife from his belt and throws it into the lake.

Katniss doesn’t falter. She immediately drops her weapons.

“No,” Peeta says, reaching for her bow and pressing it back into her hand. “You need to use this now.”

“I can’t,” Katniss says, shaking her head. “I won’t.”

“Do it.” Peeta tightens his hold on her wrist in a silent plea. “Before they send those mutts back or something. I don’t want to die like Cato.”

“Then you shoot me,” she says furiously, shoving the weapons back at him. “You shoot me and go home and live with it!”

“You know I can’t,” Peeta says, discarding the weapons.

He turns to look at the lake. Frustration drips from his voice as he says, “This is why I didn’t want you to go to the feast, why I didn’t want you to risk your life for me. I knew it was pointless, that in the end, they were going to make us choose.”

Peeta drops on one knee and begins untying his shoelaces.

Katniss scowls; this is something new. “What are you doing?”

“I think I’m going to go out for a swim.”

Panic rises within her. The lake isn’t too deep, but Peeta doesn’t know how to swim. What if the Gamemakers decide to create waves or a strong current?

She needs to think. Fast.

Katniss kneels next to him. “Peeta, please don’t!”

“Katniss,” Peeta reaches for the end of her braid and gives it a little tug. “This is my choice. It’s what I want.”

“You’re not leaving me here alone,” she says, reaching out to grab a fistful of his jacket.

“Listen,” he says, pulling her to her feet. “We both know they have to have a victor. It can only be one of us. Please, take it. For me.”

Katniss swallows thickly. This is the opening she was waiting for.

Her fingers fumble with the pouch on her belt, freeing it.

Peeta’s eyes widen. His hand clamps on her wrist. “No, I won’t let you.”

“Trust me,” she whispers.

He holds her gaze for a long moment, then lets go.

Katniss loosens the top of the pouch and pours a few spoonfuls of berries into his palm.

She fills hers. Her heart races in fear and anticipation as she asks, “On the count of three?”

Peeta leans down and kisses her once, very gently. “The count of three,” he says.

They stand, their backs pressed together, their empty hands locked tight.

“Hold them out. I want everyone to see,” Peeta says.

Katniss spreads out her fingers, and the dark berries glisten in the sun.

She’s not afraid this time. If the Gamemakers call their bluff, she and Peeta will have a quick death. Protected by their anonymity, Prim, Gale, and the rest of District 12 will be safe.

Still, as she gives Peeta’s hand one last squeeze as a signal, she hopes it’s not a goodbye.

They begin counting.

“One.” Did she get it right?

“Two.” Maybe this do-over is not for her but for Snow, who’s wanted her dead from the start.

“Three!” She’s about to find out.

Katniss lifts her hand to her mouth.

The berries have just passed her lips when the trumpets begin to blare.

The frantic voice of Claudius Templesmith shouts above them. “Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you — the tributes of District Twelve!”

XXXXX

The tribute train speeds back to District 12.

Alone in her compartment, Katniss washes the makeup from her face and puts her hair in its braid.

As she stares in the mirror, she tries to remember who she is and who she isn't.

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. My home is District 12. I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped. The Capitol hates me, but I came back. Peeta is safe. Our families and our district are waiting for us.

With a steady hand, she pins the mockingjay back on her shirt and adds, Snow’s days in power are numbered.

The train makes a brief stop for fuel, and they’re allowed to go outside for some fresh air.

There’s no longer any need to guard them, so Peeta and Katniss walk down along the track, hand in hand.

As soon as they’re out of earshot, Katniss leans into Peeta’s side and asks, “Have you talked to Haymitch?”

Peeta shakes his head. “About what?”

Remembering how poorly this conversation went the last time, Katniss grabs his arm to keep him close. “He told me the Capitol didn’t like our stunt with the berries.”

Peeta’s body tenses under her touch. “What?”

“He says it seemed too rebellious.”

“Seemed?” Peeta deadpans.

Katniss’s jaw drops open. This is not the reaction she was expecting.

“Come on, Katniss, you can’t be that surprised. We basically forced their hand into doing what we wanted. It’s no wonder they’re upset.” Anger and suspicion quickly flash through his eyes. “Why didn’t he tell me anything?”

Afraid that he’s going to storm away, Katniss tightens her grip on his arm. “Because he didn’t want me to mess up in front of the cameras. He was afraid I’d be all prickly and aloof. So, he told me I needed to act like I was so madly in love that I wasn’t responsible for my actions.”

She knows she’s messed up the second Peeta takes a step away from her. “Act?”

“For the interview,” she quickly clarifies. “Only for the interview.”

The explanation seems to placate him, but he still asks, “So, what you did in the Games, was that—,”

“That was not an act,” she tells him. This time it’s the truth. Her only hidden motive was to bring him out with her.

Peeta nods but, before he can say anything, Haymitch appears by his side.

Even in the middle of nowhere, the old mentor keeps his voice down. “Great job, you two. Just keep it up in the district until the cameras are gone. We should be OK.”

“Thanks for the update,” Peeta growls under his breath.

A deep frown settles on Haymitch’s face. “What’s up with you?”

“I just told him what you said about President Snow,” Katniss whispers.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Peeta asks.

Haymitch lets out an exasperated sigh. “Since when do you need coaching on how to act in front of the cameras, kid? You’re smooth and personable, and you always know exactly what to say.” Hunching closer to the two victors, he adds, “Besides, the walls have ears, even here. I didn’t have that many openings, you know?”

Mollified, Peeta nods. Katniss knows it's just a reprieve, though. Peeta's never liked being kept in the dark, and he'll probably go after Haymitch once they're back home.

“Alright,” Haymitch says, “fun’s over. Time to hop back on board.”

The three victors head back.

Katniss is already on board when she notices Peeta has fallen behind.

Alarmed, she whips around to look out of a window. Peeta’s just a few steps away. A smile splits her face when she notices the bunch of wildflowers in his hand.

As soon as he climbs up the stairs, he presents the pink-and-white flowers to her.

Katniss bursts out laughing. Her eager hands reach for the offering. “You brought me lunch, how thoughtful!”

Peeta tilts his head in question. “Lunch?”

Katniss nods. With soft fingers, she traces the edge of a pink petal. “They’re wild onions. Gale and I gather them sometimes.”

Peeta’s face turns serious. “Katniss, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to snap—,”

“No,” she cuts in, “I get it. We’re a team. We’re in this together.”

Peeta reaches for her hand, interlacing their fingers to bring their palms even closer. Hope lights up his face when he asks, “Together?”

Katniss nods. Standing on the tips of her toes, she presses a soft kiss to his lips and whispers, “Together.”

XXXXX

The Tribute train pulls into District 12.

Katniss and Peeta stand side by side, watching their grimy little station rise up around them.

Through the window, Katniss sees the platform’s thick with cameras. Everyone will be eagerly watching their homecoming.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Peeta extend his hand. His eyes are warm and soft, her safe place in the storm that’s about to be unleashed.

Smiling back at him, Katniss takes his hand and holds on tightly as she prepares for the cameras. Her heart feels full, grateful for the fact that she won’t ever have to let go.

XXXXX

On the first Sunday after the Capitol cameras leave, Katniss sneaks out of Victors’ Village.

Partially hidden by the dim light of dusk, she quietly walks to the Seam.

A part of her wishes she could sneak under the fence and go to her and Gale’s meeting place like she did before. She mises the sounds and the smells of her woods and longs to hold her father’s bow, but she knows the rock ledge isn’t safe. Not today.

President Snow has eyes and ears everywhere, and she can’t afford to repeat her past mistakes. Not when what she has to say is this important.

Two blocks away from Gale’s house, she finds the perfect spot; a narrow corridor that stretches between two shacks. Despite being open on both ends, it’s dark and much too small for foot traffic or lampposts —which makes it a perfect hiding place— and it faces the street Gale uses to go to the woods.

She’s only been there for a few minutes when a silent silhouette walks past.

“Gale!” Katniss hisses as loud as se dares.

Gale stops on his tracks and turns towards the sound, leaning slightly into the small dark corridor.

Smiling fondly at her friend, Katniss lifts her hand and wiggles her fingers in greeting.

The glimmer in his eyes tells her he’s surprised to see her there, but he doesn’t hesitate. In two long strides, he’s by her side with open arms.

Just like she did the last time, Katniss jumps into his embrace.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembers crying —sobbing in Gale’s arms until she began to hiccup and tremble— but she doesn’t cry now. She doesn’t have time for that. Instead, she buries her face in his jacket and breathes him in, letting his fresh, clean scent comfort her and give her the strength she needs to carry on.

Pulling away from her friend, Katniss smiles. “Hi!”

“Hey!” Gale points his thumb back towards the woods. “I was on my way out to meet you.” Dropping his hand, he turns around and inspects their tight hiding place. “What are you doing here?”

“I knew you’d pass by.” Her smile drops. “We need to talk.”

A dark cloud passes through Gale’s eyes. “What’s wrong, Catnip?”

Grabbing a fistful of his jacket to keep him from storming away, Katniss begins to talk. As quickly as she can, she tells him about President Snow’s anger.

“He’s mad at us for showing the Capitol up in the arena and turning it into the joke of Panem,” she says. “It’s something that wouldn’t have mattered much before, but Snow’s control over the country is slipping. His enemies are gaining strength, and he can’t afford to look weak in front of them.”

Anticipation lights Gale’s eyes. “His enemies?”

“Rebel forces are organizing all over the country,” Katniss says, “even the Capitol has a few dissenters, but Snow’s biggest problem is District 13.”

Gale takes a step back. “Thirteen? There’s no Thirteen. It got blown off the map.”

“No, it didn’t,” Amused with the look of shock on Gale's face, Katniss smiles. “District 13 is still there. That footage we’ve seen, with the rubble and the ruins, is always the same shot. The Capitol just uses it as a backdrop for its TV presenters.

“The people of Thirteen have spent the last 74 years living underground, and they're done waiting. They’re eager to get rid of Snow.”

Gale shakes his head, still too disconcerted to fully grasp what’s happening. “How do you know all this?”

“I heard about it while I was in the Capitol,” she lies, convinced that this is the only possible explanation she can give him that will make some kind of sense. “I overheard some conversations during my training, and then, while I was recovering, I was... approached.”

“Approached?”

Katniss nods, hoping Gale won’t press any further. She’s ready to tell him what she knows about Eight and a few other districts, but she doesn’t want to go into any specifics in case someone decides to check up on her info later on.

Luckily, Gale is a man of action, and his hatred for the Capitol runs deep. He has all the information he needs. “So, what are you going to do?”

“Well... All eyes are on me right now, so there’s not much I can do —not if I want to keep my family safe— but I was thinking...”

Katniss looks up, silver eyes bright with trust and hope. “Nobody knows who you are, Gale. No one is following you. You could go. You could just sneak under the fence and march down all the way to Thirteen and tell them everything I know."

"Wait a second," Gale says, raising his hands as if to shield himself from her plan. "If what you're saying is true, District 13 must have agents in every district. So, why would they need me to relay your information?"

Katniss shakes her head. "Thirteen is in contact with a few people, but they don't have access to every district. My information is not very detailed, but it comes from every corner of Panem. The leaders of Thirteen might be able to use it to band the rebels together before Snow sends his Peacekeepers to start cracking down on us."

Pulling his shoulders back, Gale backtracks until his arm touches the cold cement wall. Looking past Katniss, he stares at the empty street at the end of the corridor.

Enveloped by silence, she sees his mind working, turning, and churning ideas as he tries to come to terms with what he’s heard.

“What about my family?” he finally asks.

“I’ll take care of them,” Katniss promises, “just like you took care of mine.”

When Gale looks back at her —full of fire and determination— she knows, clear as day, that she’s made the right choice.

Gale Hawthorne wants the revolution more than he wants anything else.

“I’m going to need a few supplies,” he says, his mind already thinking ahead.

“That’s not a problem. I’ll help you get whatever you need.”

Crossing his arms, Gale tilts his head to study her closely. Uprisings and rebellions are far from his mind when he asks, “So…you and the baker’s son. How long has that been going on?”

Katniss shrugs. What should she say? A year and a half? A month? A week? She doesn’t really know when to start counting. So, she sticks with the vaguest thing she can think of. “A while.”

A mirthless chuckle escapes his lips. “I can’t believe I never noticed.”

“Well," Katniss slips her hands into her pockets. Discussing Peeta with Gale --or Gale with Peeta-- has always made her uncomfortable. Luckily, her friend's tone is a lot more subdued than it used to be. "We weren’t exactly shouting it over the rooftops, you know?”

Raising a questioning eyebrow, he locks his gray eyes with hers. “I thought you didn’t want to get married.”

“I changed my mind.”

As soon as the words pass her lips, she knows they’re true.

She still doesn’t want to have children. If her trips to the Games have taught her anything, it's that Panem is not a safe place to live. But she doesn’t want to be alone anymore, not when she can be with Peeta.

Hoping to put the conversation to rest, she lifts her chin and adds, “Peeta changed my mind.”

Gale nods, slowly taking her in as if he's seeing her for the very first time.

In the small space, Gale offers his hand. "OK, Catnip, I'll do as you ask."

Smiling, Katniss reaches out to shake it and seal their deal.

Katniss heads back to Victors' Village feeling lighter than she has in weeks. Her plan is in motion. Gale is going to District 13.

As she reaches the steps of her new home, a thrilling thought crosses her mind.

She's back on uncharted waters. The future is about to become uncertain once more.

#things I write #a second chance #time travel!everlark #Everlark Fic Exchange #camp nano april 2021

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

Note

How was Little Hope?

We finished the whole thing last night and I love it.

I think.

It’s complicated.

I won’t go into any spoilers since it just came out and this is one that you should go into fairly blind in order to get the full experience. But I loved this game. It was a blast to play, the characters were all likable, the mystery was fun to piece together.

I really enjoyed Man of Medan, but in my opinion, this exceeded it.

One of my biggest complaints about Man of Medan was the fucking heartbeat prompts were annoying and for me, undoable. Little Hope also has the heartbeat prompts and it’s so much better. In fact, the actual gameplay is all-around better and more interesting when it comes to switching perspectives in fights.

The characters were better- Brad was the only one I really cared about in Man of Medan and caring about 1 out of 5 characters isn’t great. But I loved them all. Even Angela grew on me by the end, and I was genuinely upset when I accidentally got two of these characters killed.

The spooks were good. The ghost child got me almost every time, the monsters were fun and horrifying, and the witchcraft plotline was interesting. Which, by the way, as I was playing this we got to a certain death that just reopened something in me that I totally forgot-

This isn’t a spoiler since it’s in the trailer, but witchcraft and the witch trials are a big part of this story. Like pretty much everyone else, I studied them in school and I’ve read The Crucible, I’ve read all the stories about what happened and I’ve read theories. But there’s a particular way of execution that stuck with me and I fucking blocked it out of my mind because it freaked me out so bad when I was younger and it’s kind of dumb.

It wasn’t the being chained up and drowned or burned alive that got me when I was studying this in school- it was the story of a dude who they tied up and placed heavy ass rocks on him until he was slowly crushed to death and I just-

Fucking hell, it got me. I kind of freaked out during the stream at this part because that all came rushing back of how disturbed I was reading that one story when I was younger and I was just like “This shit fucking happened what the fuck-??”

So yeah, Little Hope got me pretty good. It was fun!

Then there’s the ending which.... I’m still digesting.

Again, no spoilers. I’m telling you right now that Little Hope is something you should go into blind so that you get the full experience and for the ending to give you the gut punch that it game be and the chat. I’m still not quite sure what the fuck happened...

Would I recommend it? Hell yes.

I’m actually going to be playing it again tonight, this time with the curators cut and I think I know how to save everyone this time around. I’ll make another post about it because this stream will be full of spoilers and discussion about the ending, so if you haven’t watched/played it then I suggest doing so first if you want to catch the stream tonight.

Maybe we can make some sense of what the hell happened.

#asks

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simul16 · 3 years

Text

Low Effort in Their Own Way

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." - Leo Tolstoy, "Anna Karenina"

I've been watching a fair amount of D&D content on YouTube of late, for varying reasons, and if I may paraphrase Tolstoy's famous quote above, I've learned that all good D&D channels make high-effort content, while each bad D&D channel makes low-effort content in its own way.

Low-effort content tends to be:

Content that is or can be created quickly; it doesn't require a lot of prep time (and the presentation usually allows this limited prep time to show)

Content that copies current trends; while a certain amount of response to significant events in the gaming world is to be expected, low-effort channels regularly feature content that basically boils down to 'here's my reaction to whatever rumor or scandal is currently being talked about among the community'

Content that does not spark or contribute to a discussion; when such channels go beyond simply recapitulating a recent event, they frequently spend very little time explaining their own reaction and seldom spend any time at all explaining or exploring contrary opinions except to make jokes or elicit emotional reactions from an over-simplified or straw-man version of the contrary opinion

Now let's start off by saying that I'm not knocking low-effort content per se; anybody who knows anything about online marketing can tell you that low-effort content has a role to play in any marketing strategy. Ideally, though, your low-effort content, the stuff that you can get out the door quickly and easily and get in front of your potential customers, exists to guide those customers to your higher-quality content that convinces them to buy your product, order your service, or otherwise become someone who believes that you have something of value to say. Because it's cheap and easy to produce, low-effort content can be cast far and wide to serve as a net to capture many potential viewers and guide them to the gold mine of the really important stuff you have to say. Unfortunately, when your low-effort content is what you have to say, it very much begs the question of what exactly it is people should be coming to your channel for.

Here are a few but by no means an exhaustive list of the YouTube channels that to me seem to feature way too much low-effort content.

The Dungeon Dudes

The Dungeon Dudes are two guys (Kelly McLaughlin and Monty Martin) who mainly do scripted back-and-forth style discussions of D&D-related topics. I've talked about the Dungeon Dudes before, when taking apart one of their recent videos, but they also stream a D&D game they play in on Twitch (and frequently post recordings of those sessions on their channel), do product reviews, and generally do whatever they can to maintain a consistent pace of content output, generally a minimum of twice weekly. They've been around for nearly four years now, and have amassed about 273 thousand subscribers on their channel, with over 44 million views for their content, which seem like decent numbers for a niche content channel. (Contract with CinemaSins, which exists as a viral content manufacturer, and has amassed over 9 million subscribers and over 3.3 billion views. I'm not trying to say the Dungeon Dudes are the CinemaSins of D&D; if they were, their numbers would probably look a lot more like those of CinemaSins.)

The big problem with the Dudes as content creators is that, despite being a niche content channel, they are clearly in it to try to eke out some kind of income or living from the work they put into the channel: they've got a Patreon, they use affiliate links in the descriptions of their product review videos to gain some additional referrer income, and they do sponsored content when they can get a sponsor. They started back in the summer of 2017 with a very 2016-era plan on how to succeed at YouTube: put together a bunch of short (5-10 minutes, occasionally longer, but go over 15 minutes at your peril) videos and release them on an iron-clad schedule to get people used to coming back to your channel and looking over your new content, and to their credit, they've kept up their content production schedule very consistently over the past four years.

They've also learned a few things during that time and have adapted the channel in response: their videos explaining rules and reviewing new products tend to be more popular, so they work those topics in on a more regular basis. They've learned that the YouTube algorithm has subtly changed over the past few years to reward channels that can provide longer 'engagement' (which gives YouTube more opportunities to run ads), and have expanded their video length to an average of about a half-hour, with their re-broadcasts from Twitch being extra-long videos (between two and two-and-a-half hours) which, while drawing fewer total views, probably draw as much or more 'engagement' from the algorithm for the views they have.

But the need to spit out so much content on such a rigid, unforgiving schedule means that they have to aim for quick-creation and easy digestion: putting subclasses into a bog-standard tier ranking, making 'top five' and 'top ten' lists that seem like they're being cribbed from a more thoughtful resource, and generally getting stuff out the door (like their 'Powerful Spell Combos Using Teamwork' video) without spending too much time thinking about how valuable or even accurate their advice happens to be. More to the point, it seems to be taking its toll on the guys who serve as the hosts of the show: Kelly McLaughlin has a fairly dour expression in general, but lately he seems to have the countenance of a man who's about to post a 'very special episode' discussing the dangers of YouTuber burnout.

The Dungeon Dudes feature low-effort content because they have to in order to support the publishing frequency they've chosen; if they were to take the time to put together a truly high-effort piece regarding one of their traditional topics, their Patreon subscribers would likely be asking why their release schedule had slowed down before their work was even half-done.

Dungeon Craft

The Dungeon Craft channel is run by a fellow who refers to himself as 'Professor Dungeon Master'; I have not yet found any reference in his channel or elsewhere that identifies who he actually is, so I'll just refer to him as Prof. Prof has been on YouTube a bit longer than the Dungeon Dudes, having launched his channel in October of 2016, and has put out 185 'episodes' (as of the time of this writing), thus averaging between three and four episodes per month. Prof's own 'trailer' video explicitly states his channel's concept: "Some channels focus on running the game, others on building terrain, others on painting minis. I do it all!" You might think, then, that this would be a place to find quite high-quality content, especially related to terrain and miniatures painting tips, but it seems like the main effect of Prof making his channel be about multiple topics (and there are plenty of topics he discusses that don't fit into any of those three categories above) is that he can't successfully communicate what his channel is actually about, other than about his specific opinions. Maybe that's the reason he's sitting at about 65 thousand subscribers and just under 5 million views.

However, being at a slightly lower 'tier' of content production than the Dungeon Dudes is not itself any kind of crime or even indicative of poor quality -- after all, one of my favorite D&D lore channels on YouTube is RavenloftTravelAgent, and she's got just over a thousand subscribers and only about 50 thousand views on her videos. No, Prof could have a very high-quality, high-content channel with the subscriber numbers and views he has, but he doesn't.

Prof's issue is almost exactly the opposite of that of the Dungeon Dudes: instead of cranking out a rapid-fire, breakneck volume of content to keep up with an arbitrary content production schedule because that's how you make a living producing content for YouTube and you have to keep feeding the hungry algorithm, Prof cranks out content that's very easy for him to write because he's been involved in the game for a long time and already knows that the way he learned to play the game is the best way. Any topic that comes up related to D&D, he's got an opinion and can spit out a script explaining his opinion quickly because it's the same opinion he's held for decades. Classic D&D didn't have skills, so the next edition of D&D shouldn't have them either. Classic D&D had slow advancement, so slow advancement is better than fast advancement. This becomes even more obvious in the videos that have very little or nothing to do with running a D&D game, such as where Prof explains why he thought Avengers: Endgame sucked, or why he thought Season 8 of Game of Thrones was 'nearly perfect'.

Some of the oddest episodes of Dungeon Craft have to do when Prof makes admissions that make him out to be, well, the D&D channel for 'that kind' of old-school gamer: the ones who can make comments to each other that they can't make in front of their wives or significant others because the latter find the comments sexist, the kind of guys you can complain to about not being able to tell a Polack joke at work, the guys who treated D&D in the 1980s and 1990s the way that guys in the 1950s and 1960s treated golf where they could build a wall between the world as it existed and the world as they wanted to believe it was (and, if we're being honest, the way that they believed it should actually be). Nowhere is this more evident than in the video where Prof starts by discussing the hot, rich girlfriend he had once who tried but never got into D&D who he just had to break up with, and which by the 3 minute mark has him "calling bullshit" on the idea that relationships are built on compromise and negotiation. (I mean, you saw this coming, right? Right there at the end of the last paragraph about how the ending of Game of Thrones was so good? You knew that's where this was going, right?)

And, of course, he's not immune to just jumping on the latest bandwagon to contribute his drone to the chorus of voices talking about things just to be talking about things. It shouldn't be surprising that Prof jumped on the bandwagon of the lawsuit brought by Hickman and Weis against Wizards of the Coast over the upcoming Dragonlance trilogy, which turned out to be a nothing-burger. Even weirder is the tag in the description of that video which says "Analysis you can't get anywhere else", even though the video doesn't contain anything that hadn't already been discussed over the three weeks between the lawsuit and Prof's video other than Prof's own opinions about it. My favorite howler that Prof makes in this video is his assertion that, because Hickman and Weis got a lawyer to file a lawsuit, that means there's definitely fire under that smoke, because "big law firms do not accept cases they don't think they can win", which both ignores the existence of SLAPP suits as well as the existence of authors who seem to take perverse glee in suing rival authors just to drive them out of the industry. He's also responded with multiple videos in response to Cody at Taking20s controversial 'illusion of choice' essay, and his response to Ginny Di's essay on making online D&D suck less didn't include any of Ginny's solid advice on making online play more compatible with an in-person mentality (recognizing interruptive behavior, or using text chat to maintain side-conversations that would otherwise not be distracting in person), but instead gave these recommendations to players:

Keep your camera turned on

Mute yourself when not talking

Don't distract yourself with technology during the game

Nothing specific on recognizing how online play differs from tabletop play and suggesting ways to bring those two styles closer together, just commands because he's the DM and he says so. Or, in other words, low-effort, opinion-based content.

Nerd Immersion

Nerd Immersion, a channel by Ted that started in May of 2014 and has amassed over 70 thousand subscribers, starts his "channel trailer" video by leafing through a book, then looking up and saying, "Oh, hello" as if he'd just noticed that there was a camera on pointing at him while he's sitting in his orange-trimmed gaming chair. That, sadly, is roughly the level of thought that goes into the actual content contained on this long-tenured but seemingly still super-niche channel.

The weird thing is that at some point, it was obvious that Ted put some real effort into this channel. There are defined sections of the channel that focus on particular things, avoiding the Dungeon Craft problem of 'what topic is our channel about this week?' On Tuesdays, Ted posts a top-10 list. Ted comes up with an idea for a series, like 'Fixing 5E' or 'Reviewing Unearthed Arcana', posts regular articles until he's said what he means to say, then ends the series. (There hasn't been a new Fixing 5E video in roughly a year, meaning that Ted isn't wasting his own time and that of the viewer continually beating horses he's long since killed.) And he comes up with some great ideas for series, such as his series reviewing products on the DMs Guild; that particular series comes out somewhat irregluarly, but not so irregularly that you think he may have stopped doing the series without telling you.

Nerd Immersion's big problem can be summed up by simply looking at the list of videos on his channel and noticing that when he puts his own face on the thumbnail of the video, the startling frequency with which he's shrugging or has a puzzled face or just seems to be presenting himself as if he's not sure what's happening in his own video. I mean, I get it -- that's his image, the personality he wants to present to his audience. He doesn't have all the answers (a refreshing change from Dungeon Craft, honestly), but has some things to share if you're interested, so go ahead and take a peek. But then you take a look at those different sections we spoke about earlier and see that the 'Fixing' series all have the word Fixing at the top of the screen, the Nerd Immersion logo in the top left, two images underneath the text, one on the right side of the page and one on the left, separated right down the middle, and they all have Fix-It Felix on the far right. The Top 10 videos always have Top 10 at the top of the thumbnail. The Unearthed Arcana reviews all have 'Unearthed Arcana' at the top, then 'Review' in an odd off-set to the right beneath 'Unearthed Arcana'.

In other words, Ted has a formula, and he's damn well going to follow it.

Now it's not a bad thing to have a workflow -- if you're going to be cranking out videos at the volume that Ted does (not to mention the others on this list), you'd better have some kind of process for making the video, getting the thumbnail on it, etc.; otherwise each new video is a horrible nightmare of effort as you re-invent the wheel for every project. Nobody wants to do that, and the results would likely be unwatchable. Having a process is a good thing. But the Dungeon Dudes clearly also have a process -- they've put out at least two videos a week for three and a half years, so they damn well have a process or they wouldn't have been able to get out that much content. Looking at their channel, though, shows you that while they have a brand, and one that's evolving over time to boot, they're not just making the same video over and over again, or at least you wouldn't think that from looking at the thumbnails.

Ted's most interesting videos are where he's interviewing another person or even just having another person in the video, because having another person around clearly takes him at least a bit outside his rigid formulaic comfort zone. The problem is that those videos are few and far between -- the review of the infernal tiefling is about eight months separated from his interview with Celeste Conowitch about her Venture Maidens campaign guide. Also interesting are his unboxing videos, because Ted clearly likes minis and takes some degree of joy in cracking open and looking at new minis. His unboxing videos aren't as irregular as his interview videos, but they are fairly recent, with the first appearing just a few months ago, so it's still not clear if this is going to be a new regular part of the channel, or just another series that goes until he says what he wants to say about minis and then stops.

Most of the stuff on the site, though, is just, well, stuff, cranked out on a formula and thrown out into the digital void with the same soft-spoken volume regardless of whether it's major news or a press release. As an example, while pretty much everybody had an opinion on the Dragonlance lawsuit, Ted covered when the suit was announced, when it was dismissed by Weis and Hickman, when the actual trilogy that was the subject of the novels was announced, and the official release date of the first book in the new trilogy. When it came time to get ready to announce the newest campaign book, Ted was on the job, posting a video preparing for the announcement, another video later the same day when his original prediction of a Feywild adventure book seemed to be contradicted by other rumors that the book would be a Ravenloft book, then posted yet another video when the actual book was leaked on Amazon at 11:24pm later that same day confirming Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, posted the video discussing the official announcement of Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft the next day, and then the day after that followed up with more details on Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft revealed in Dragon+. That's five videos in three days, for a grand total of just over 100 thousand views combined. The intention seems like Ted wants to be the CNN of the D&D news scene, but with those kind of distribution numbers, the result is more like your local home town's shopping circular that occasionally also features stories about the latest project to fix the potholes on Main Street. Just like nobody's doing 24/7 news coverage of your local town council, nobody is (or probably should strive to) doing 24/7 coverage of the gaming industry and Wizards of the Coast. At some point it just becomes running a script, pressing a button to upload the next video, because it's news, and while you don't have to think about news to quite the same degree you have to think about more opinion-based topics, once you stop thinking about the process and what it is you're making, all you have left is executing the formula, over and over again, and both the input and the output becomes repetitive.

Repetitive videos, in repetitive formats, with repetitive text, to keep the monster fed for another day. I can admire the effort that goes into it, but the overwhelming presence of the formula involved in cranking out this content keeps me from feeling that it's worth engaging with. It's low-effort, because the effort has been meticulously removed from the process.

I could go on, but I think I'll stop here. There's not really any constructive criticism I could provide to these channels because, as I hope I've pointed out, it seems like low-effort content is pretty much the only thing these channels have to offer or in truth can offer, and anything that might cause their owners to re-consider their channels to improve their content would almost certainly lead to a very different if not wholly different channel. With things being as they are online, there's no guarantee that any new, higher-effort channel would be any more successful than the old low-effort one (remember the RavenloftTravelAgent channel with absolutely miniscule numbers; effort doesn't automatically equate with success). I can't even claim that being low-effort channels necessarily makes these channels bad (despite what I said in the intro); after all, they all have at least some good ideas, especially Nerd Immersion, and they each have subscribers and a following. I guess this is just my way of putting some small amount of effort into explaining why I don't feel like doing more to help these channels succeed, because I'd rather put my support toward channels making higher-quality, higher-effort content, especially because its not the content itself, but people engaging with that content that really drives a channel's success.

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cuddlepilefics · 3 years

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Overworked?

Fandom: GOT7

Sickie: Jackson

Caregiver: rap-line + jjp

Jackson’s POV.:

I had been working on a solo-project today and was really excited to get back to the dorm and show my members what I had worked on. Sure, it had been tough, the hours of singing had left my throat a bit scratchy and exercising in the morning before practicing the new choreography had made my muscles burn. However, there can only be a good outcome, if I really made an effort and put all my heart into it, and so I did. Being done with today’s schedule, I had a driver take me back to the GOT7 dorm. I only realized how late it actually was when none of the members were up anymore. I guess I’ll have to show them tomorrow. Quietly, I snuck into the bathroom for a quick shower and got ready for bed. Being downright exhausted, I collapsed on my bed and the soft mattress welcomed my achy limbs. I had to suppress a sigh because I didn’t want to wake my roommate Mark but it really felt amazing to finally be able to lay down and rest.

When I woke up the next morning, Mark had already gotten up and I turned my face into my pillow to muffle a groan. I was a dozen times achier then when I went to bed yesterday and my throat was really sore now. I shouldn’t have overdone it that much. Today there was no schedule for me, since I had finished my project yesterday and I could’ve stayed in bed all day but my stomach was churning a bit and I figured going to bed without dinner last night was a bad idea. So I got up too and decided to have breakfast to settle my stomach and end the hunger pains. I met Bambam in the kitchen and we had dinner together. “Are you alright, hyung? You’re really quiet this morning”, Bambam questioned. “I’m fine, still tired and sang too much yesterday. My throat hurt’s a bit”, I replied, keeping my volume down but even so, it hurt to talk and I sounded raspier than usual. “I can tell, you sound awful”, Bambam frowned and I stuck out my tongue at the result. He got up and grabbed a mug from the kitchen cabinet. Picking up the pot of tea he had prepared for himself, my dongsaeng poured another cup and pushed it in front of me. After my whispered “thank you” we ate in silence, which I was glad about because my head had started to hurt a bit. Seems like I really outdid myself recently, but at least I’m done now and with some sleep I’ll feel like myself again soon. I was still sipping my tea when Mark exited the bathroom with shower-damp hair and grinned at me: “Good morning sleepy-head. At what devilish time of night did you get home yesterday? When you texted me, you’d finish everything up, I stayed up late to celebrate with you but you didn’t come and I must have nodded off at some point.” – “Oh my god, h-hyung. I’m soo sorry. You didn’t have to wait for me. I don’t even know when I got home, there were some last imperfections to erase and it ended up getting pretty late”, I rushed, feeling guilty that my friend had lost sleep all for nothing. My voice got progressively quitter and by the end of my explanation I had to clear my throat by coughing into my elbow. It didn’t help, the coughing just sent a stabbing pain down my throat and my wince didn’t go unnoticed by my friends. “Are you ok?”, Mark frowned. “Hyung, he sang a lot yesterday”, Bambam answered for me and I gave him a grateful smile for not having to speak again. Mark nodded thoughtfully before smiling at me: “You really need to show me how it turned out, but no hurry, if you want to get a few more hours of sleep first, that’s fine. You look like a panda with your eyebags.” I frowned before sticking out my tongue. “I’ll show you later hyung, sleep sounds good right now”, I whispered pointing to my bedroom. He nodded happily and disappeared with Bambam to play some games. I didn’t know where the rest of the group was but the two rappers seemed to be the only ones home. Rubbing my eyes, I placed my mug into the sink and went back to bed.

My plan to sleep a bit more was futile though. With the achiness weighting my body down I struggled to find a comfortable position and to add to my discomfort, my stomach didn’t get better from eating like I had expected. Quite the opposite was the case, my meal didn’t really settle and on top of the ache there was now also a hint of nausea. The headache I had developed over breakfast was slowly increasing and I groaned into my pillow. Does overworking really feel this bad? Giving up on sleeping, I sat up and checked my phone when suddenly a sharp cramp ripped across my abdomen. I grit my teeth and tried to breathe through the pain but when it subsided the nausea had increased tenfold. I was now really confused, what is going on with me? Not knowing whether I needed to throw up, I carefully got up and slowly walked to the bathroom. When I passed Bambam’s room I could hear my friends laughing and teasing each other. Oh, how I had missed this, but now that I’m home and not busy, I feel dreadful. I sat next to the toilet, leaning against the bathtub and screwing my eyes shut. Willing the nausea away, I took deep breaths through my nose and gently traced my hand in circles over my bloated belly. Bad idea. The added pressure was too much and a wet burp left my lips. Already being able to feel my breakfast at the back of my throat, I got on my knees and leaned over the bowl. It didn’t even take long till a gag tore at my abused throat and though it was unproductive, it made my eyes water. Fuck, I can’t throw up. My throat is to sore for that. I knelt there with one arm hugging my tummy and the other one gripping the rim of the bathtub next to me. I grit my teeth and tried to keep my lips closed at all costs, hoping it would keep my stomach contents in. All hope was lost when my cheeks puffed with another burp which was then followed by a strong heave. This time I had to open my mouth, as a hot stream of vomit gushed from my lips. The half-digested food burning my throat but I barely had the time to dwell on the pain since my stomach contracted again and I brought up another wave. I didn’t know what was worse, the pain it caused my throat or the fact that having just eaten, I could feel all the chunks travelling over my throat. I spat into the toilet and wiped the tears off my cheeks, trying to keep myself calm and hopefully calming my stomach along with me. To no avail. After a few held back gags into my fist, I threw up again, choking. I kept coughing and the strain on my throat brought me to tears once again. After a few knocks, I heard the door open and soon there was a hand hitting me between the shoulderblades. Slowly, the coughing subsided and I looked up at Mark, who had now switched to rubbing my back. “What’s going on?”, he asked with concern evident in his voice. “Don’t feel good”, I rasped quietly, wiping my tears away and resting my head on my arm. “Yeah, I can see that. I mean, are you sick or just really overworked? Or both?” Honestly, what should I tell him? I don’t know what’s going on with me. So I just settled for shrug. He sighed but kept rubbing my back. “Do you think you’re done, hyung?”, Bambam asked from the doorway, passing a waterbottle to Mark who opened it before offering it to me. After rinsing my mouth out, I handed it back to Mark without drinking any, not wanting to risk throwing up again even though it probably would have soothed my throat. Dropping my head back onto my arm I shrugged at Bambam’s question. Mark was still crouching behind me and Bambam took a seat next to me on the bathtub, before brushing my sticky hair out of my face. When did I start to sweat this much? The cool hand he pressed to my forehead felt amazing and I whined hoarsely when he pulled it away again. “Fever”, he commented, carding my hair back and I closed my eyes. That certainly explains some things. I never get this sore from dancing and I have sung for longer durations before, not wrecking my throat.

I was starting to nod off when Mark gently shook my shoulder: “Come on let’s get you back to bed. Don’t fall asleep here.” The thought of moving didn’t sound too appealing but I remembered how comfy my bed was earlier and let the two other rappers pull me to my feet. Being upright made my head spin and I relied heavily on my friends to keep me from falling. The walk to my room was painfully slow and felt like a marathon. When I could finally collapse on my bed, I was drained of all energy. My head pounded and I curled up hugging my pillow. Bambam had disappeared for a minute and now returned, placing a bucket next to my bed: “Do you need anything?” I shook my head. “Want to try and sleep some more?” I nodded and Mark helped me to pull the blanket over myself properly, since my sore muscles struggled to do so. After telling me to get better, they left quietly and the exhaustion from being sick and overworked knocked me out within seconds.

Jinyoung’s POV.:

Jaebeom and I just came back from buying groceries, when we found Mark and Bambam in the kitchen. Mark was cooking rice while Bambam chopped some vegetables. They explained in a hushed voice that Jackson had fallen ill and they were making soup as well as plain rice as a back-up plan, since he threw up earlier and might stomach rice better. “Why, what’s wrong with him?”, I had had a gut feeling that Jackson was working himself sick. “Seems a bit like the flu, fever, vomiting, muscle aches and he is pretty close to losing his voice”, Mark listed. Yeah, my poor hyung had clearly run himself into the ground and I now felt bad for not stopping him, having noticed the signs a while ago already. Putting my bags down, I made my way to his and Mark’s shared room to check on him, while the three remaining members stored the groceries away. I tried to open the door with as little noise as possible to not wake him in case he was asleep. It was a heart-breaking sight that welcomed me after sneaking in. Our Chinese rapper had tangled himself in the sheets, sweat beading on his forehead. He looked awfully pale with dark circles under his eyes and a slight blush on his cheeks. There was a bucket next to his bed and even while asleep, he was holding on to it with one hand, his arm hanging off the mattress. After dabbing away the sweat with an edge of his sheets, I placed my palm on Jackson’s Forehead, frowning at the heat radiating off of him. My touch must have woken him because he blinked at me disorientated. “Hey, not doing so well, huh?”, I whispered and he shook his head. Giving him a sympathetic smile, I sat down on the edge of the bed and saw how his eyes slowly got a bit damp. “What’s wrong?”, I asked sincerely. “I was soo busy and I missed you guys soo much. Now I’m finally back but I feel like death and everything hurts”, he rasped with a wavering voice and it was hard to tell whether the cracks in his voice were because of him being sick or due to suppressed tears. “We missed you too, hyung. But I think you might have loaded too much work onto yourself, ending up sick like this.”, I replied, running my hand over his shoulder. Remembering how much Jackson needed to have people he liked and trusted around him, I could only imagine how hard the last weeks must have been, working with complete strangers. Being alone in his room because he was sick, probably didn’t help him feel less lonely. “Do you want any of us to keep you company? Jaebeom, Mark, Bambam and I are free today and the others shouldn’t come back too late either…” – “I don’t want you to catch this”, barely managing more than a whisper. I could see the conflict in his eyes that told me he really didn’t want to be alone anymore, so I joked lightheartedly: “Don't worry. If I catch this from you, I will find a way to have my revenge.” Immediately tears started running down his pink cheeks and I was totally caught off guard. “Wait..” – “Nooo.. l-le-eave!! I d-don't want yo-you to be ma-mad at meee!!” I quickly started wiping his tears away and tried to calm his feverish, emotional mind down: “Hey, shh, I was just kidding, I’m staying. Relax.” It took a few minutes but his breathing slowly went back to normal and he was only sniffling quietly from time to time. I motioned for Jackson to make some space and sat down next to next to him with my back against the headboard, so he could rest his head in my lap. Running my fingers through his sweaty hair, I used my other hand to text Mark.

Shortly after, the door opened and the rest of the rap-line followed by our leader stepped in. My text didn’t explain much other than Jackson having missed us and feeling lonely. Jaebeom crouched down next to the bed while Mark and Bambam took a seat on Mark’s bed. “Hey, it’s good to have you back”, Jaebeom smiled at Jackson while patting his arm, keeping his touch light as he was aware of the soreness in his dongsaeng’s muscles. “Missed you, hyung”, the rapper forced out, making the leader’s face fall as he realized just how bad he sounded. After telling Jackson to avoid talking as far as possible, Jaebeom continued to praise him for his hard work and the effort made for the fans. I got a bit worried this speech would only encourage self-destructive behavior but luckily, my hyung ended it with emphasizing that health has to be the first priority and that true fans would want their idols to be happy and healthy instead of overworked wrecks. With a good amount of convincing, we got Jackson to eat a small bowl of plain rice so he could take some ibuprofen to help with the aches and fever. He even managed to empty half a bottle of water before lying back down with a groan. Bambam had brought in his laptop and played some music at a low volume to give us some background-noise. Mark had picked up Jackson’s Squirtle plush and placed it in the younger rapper’s arms. While I stayed seated with Jackson, the other three got comfortable on Mark’s bed. We engaged in a hushed conversation about the past weeks, telling Jackson what he missed while being away and discussing ideas for future projects and trips we wanted to take when having some time off. We didn’t expect Jackson to participate or even listen, he only needed to feel and hear us being there and including him though he was really out of it. Not even thirty minutes later, he was out cold in my lap snoring lightly. I was just glad, he was finally home and resting, my hard-working hyung.

#sickfic #got7 #jackson wang #mark tuan #bambam #park jinyoung #im jaebeom #jb #fluff #comfort

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iohourtime · 4 years

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Hey!Say!JUMP 2019 in Taipei - Reports from various newspapers

Notes:

I was going to do this back in October when it was more timely but I was going nuts trying to organize all the articles in some semblance of order. Why now then? The concert DVD’s will be released on August 5! A digest version of the Taipei concert will be included in LE 1. According to the fans, they only cut 3 songs (and probably a lot if not all of the MC).

This article was translated mainly from the Apple Daily article, but I filled in the details from other articles, con reports, and news clips.

Johnny's group Hey!Say!JUMP held their first concert in Taiwan in 7 years. The 9 members of Hey!Say!JUMP are Yabu Kota, Takaki Yuya, Inoo Kei, Yaotome Hikaru, Arioka Daiki, Okamoto Keito (studying abroad), Yamada Ryosuke, Nakajima Yuto, and Chinen Yuri. For two days, they took over the Taipei Arena and were greeted with great enthusiasm: the 22,000 tickets sold out immediately, with the 2 performances grossing 58M TWD in ticket sales.

The concert was not just attended by local Taiwanese fans, the Japanese fans also formed their own tour groups to go to the concert, and you could find fans from many countries like China, Thailand, etc… Wu Chun, who co-starred with Yamada Ryosuke and Arioka Daiki, sent flowers to congratulate them on opening night. They also arranged a lot of "Taiwan limited events" for the local fans, such as opening a pop up shop, releasing 2 songs on streaming services, as well as a collaboration with Line Poko Poko.

2 minute digest video here.

Opening Introduction

As the LED sign of Hey!Say!JUMP's name rose to the top, the 8 members appeared on stage donned in sparkling suits in their own members' colour. The 11,000 fans switched on their penlights to their biases’ colour and turned the arena into a spectacle of lights.

Yamada shouted "Are you ready!!!!" Takaki* (or Arioka & Chinen) said in Mandarin, "Are you having fun? OK, we are having fun too. Taiwan! Welcome to our concert!" The other members didn't want to lose to each other and they all chimed in with their newly learned Chinese phrases like "you guys are super cute", "sing along with us" , "please sit" or “let me hear you scream”. They started with a performance of “Arigatou~ Sekai no doko ni itemo”, a song that included lyrics in many languages, such as “Thank you” in Manadarin.

* The Taiwanese media could not tell some of the members apart, so certain quotes were attributed to multiple members. I used 1 and put the other possibilities in brackets. I suppose we will find out when we watch the DVD.

When it was time to introduce themselves, they did not forget to flirt with and charm their fans in Mandarin. Yabu Kota started by saying “We’ve learned a bit* of Chinese. Please bear with us as we are not very good. How are you, I am Yabu Kota. We’ve let you wait for too long. Friends in the back, I can see you clearly!”

* Another article said we’ve spent a year learning Chinese. That’s what I heard from the news clips too, but either is possible because of his pronunciation. 😅 我們學了一點 (yī diǎn)中文 vs. 我們學了一年 (yī nián) 中文.

Hikaru Yaotome continued, “I remember the last time we came here. Let us melt your hearts.”

Takaki Yuya also shouted, “I really really missed you guys.”

Inoo Kei, who wasted no time telling the fans they were cute made a “shocking” declaration. “You are all our girlfriends. Can my girlfriends on the left hear me? How about my girlfriends on the right? ” Then he put his arms around Chinen Yuri and said, “But my real girlfriend is…” and trailed off, leaving the fans to draw their own conclusions.

Chinen Yuri was worried that the fans did not recognize him, so he kept asking “Do you know me? Do you know me? Really?” When he heard the affirmative responses, he said, “I like you very much! Thank you.”

Meanwhile Yamada Ryosuke tried a different strategy and used Taiwanese to tell everyone in the audience that they were cute*. However, his pronunciation was quite off so nobody understood what he said and the response was very tentative. He panicked and kept repeating the phrase*, when Chinen finally asked him to clarify. Yamada said “You’re cute” in Japanese and that was met with kyaa’s. Nevertheless, his failed attempt brought a lot of joy to the audience.

* Cute in Taiwanese is 古錐 (Actual pronunciation). 😅

Finally, Nakajima Yuto used both Mandarin and English to address the audience. “It’s been a long time. We are so happy to see you again. We’ve been waiting to see you again for 7 years since we came here last time. For 7 years. Our dream to come back here has finally come true. We are so glad.” (Source: a clip from a Taiwan TV entertainment show.)

You can watch some of the exchanges here.

There were many familiar songs on the set list but with a Taiwanese twist. For example, in Kimi Attraction, the members mugged the camera and acted cool as usual. At the end, Chinen said “As expected, Taiwan is No. 1.” Inoo added in Mandarin, “So cute!”

They also brought back the "flying circle" from the stage show “SUMMARY”, which was something they had not performed for years. Dressed in white, they quickly hooked each other up to the harnesses and held each others’ hands as they flew, their capes flowing gracefully as they twirled to the music while they sang “Born in the EARTH”, the audience went wild. The rest of the concert was filled with effects like confetti, smoke, dry ice, and gin tape. It was a spectacle.

Just before the end of the first half, the 8 members were chatting with fans and each other on stage. When they found out a lot of them attended their concert at Nangang 101* 7 years ago, they immediately said “Thank you” in Chinese. They then asked each other (in Mandarin), “Do you have a smartphone?” Nakajima also asked the audience, “What kind of group is Hey!Say!JUMP?”

* Nangang 101 was a small concert hall that has since been demolished. From what I heard, it was actually a pretty bad location. Supposedly, Taipei Arena is a much nicer space.

At this time, it looked like Yamada was going to introduce each member, but all he did was point at each one and said “他很帥! (He is handsome)”. When it was Arioka’s turn, Yamada pointed at him and said, “他是笨蛋! (He is an idiot)”. Arioka, who didn’t know the Mandarin for “idiot”, immediately asked, “Hey, the word you used to describe me is different from the others!” The audience roared.

After Yamada introduced everybody, Chinen introduced Yamada* with “他是...我的錢包. (He is my... wallet.)” Yamada clarified, “不是,我是...銀行! (No, I am... the bank!)”

*This is not in any of the news articles, but the Taiwanese fans won’t shut up about it, so I’ll add it here. Either the whole thing was in Mandarin or it’s a mix of Japanese and Mandarin. I have no clue but at least “wallet” and “bank” were in Manadrin.

Meanwhile, out of nowhere, Chinen showed off the line he learned and said, “I will not make the same mistake next time”*. The members were completely baffled by that.

* When Yabu, Yuto, and Chi went to Taipei for the press conference, they appeared on a number of TW entertainment shows and were taught a bunch of “useful” Mandarin phrases. I think this was one of the lines.

They also remembered to advertise the pop-up shop. Since the members arrived a day earlier in Taipei, they secretly visited the pop up shop to check it out and signed the poster. The members teased Yamada, the spokesperson for Lachesca cleansing product, and said “The shop is filled with Yamada.” At this time, Yamada brought out all the products and promoted them to the audience. Nakajima added, “If you use this, you will have the same soft skin as Yamada!” Yabu said, “I heard a lot of items that were sold out will be restocked tomorrow. Please go check them out.”

They also promoted the Line Poko Poko game they were repping. Takaki jokingly said, “Yesterday, I went to the sauna. Just when I was very relaxed, I suddenly saw our ad on TV. It was a bit embarrassing.” They also revealed that the stickers were designed by Yaotome Hikaru and even used Mandarin to say “Go download it.” Indeed, they were good spokespersons.

Second Half

After a short intermission, the second half of the concert began. The members changed into purple Japanese outfits for the “Wa” corner, with Nakajima on taiko and Yaotome playing shamisen. The “Wa” corner was reminiscent of senpai Domoto Koichi’s musical, “SHOCK”. Each member performed a series of fan dance and ribbon dance, set to a rearranged version of “Over” and “Give Me Love”, etc. The background also changed throughout the set into various Japanese motifs. During “Give Me Love”, Yamada and Chinen grabbed the white ribbons and started flying on stage with no safety harnesses. The audience was shocked and awed.

As the main part of the concert came to an end, the audience was treated to a highlight video of HSJ’s last Taipei concert 7 years ago, giving them a chance to reminisce. They changed into sparkly gold outfits and sang a 12-song medley of their hit singles, including their debut song “Ultra Music Power”, “Mayonaka no Shadow Boy”, “Mae wo muke”, etc., while… you guessed it… flying through the air again! They finished with “White Love”, their single from the previous year, but to the audience’s surprise, they sang the last half of the song in Taiwanese (correctly pronounced apparently)! The audience completely lost it with excitement at this point.

「White Love」（台語版）：

若有一天會實現

咱兩人永遠做伙的彼個夢

妳就是唯一願望

妳是我的從今以後的未來

最後一擺的戀愛

我的愛乎妳一個

獻予妳全心全意的一個人

我的心愛妳到底

我愛妳　遮愛妳

全世界只有妳一人

我愛妳遮愛你

妳是我永遠註定的命運

上愛的故事

“White Love” (Taiwanese version)

If it comes true one day,

That dream where we are together forever,

Then I only wish for you,

You are my future from now on.

My last love story,

I give my love only to you,

To you, who love me wholeheartedly.

In my heart, I will love you till the end.

I love you, I love you very much,

There’s only you in the whole world.

I love you, I love you very much,

You are my destiny,

The best love story.

You can watch the video here

Encore

After the thunderous shouts of encore from the audience, the members appeared on stage again and sang “Fanfare!”” and “You & I”. They promised their Taiwanese fans to “not let them wait this long for the next time”. However, since this was the last night, the 11K fans shouted for a second encore and the members appeared on stage again. Chinen said with a smile, “We see each other again so soon!” Yabu used Mandarin to ask the fans, “What do you want to hear? What do you want us to sing?” They then performed “Ultra Music Power again, and rang around the stage. Nakajima Yuto said in pretty fluent English, “Thank you everyone for coming. We are so happy. We will not forget tonight when you are here with us in Taiwan together!” Chinen also said in Mandarin that “We will come again!”. The members wistfully said goodbye to their fans.

Fan stories and fan service

Hey!Say!JUMP’s concert was like a grand entertainment show. In addition to the members’ hard work, the fans also brought a lot of enthusiasm. In Johnny’s tradition, fans communicate to their idols through homemade uchiwa, which was a sight to behold for [those unfamiliar with Johnny’s concerts]. Fan messages included “Wink at me”, “Blow me a kiss”, “Point at me” etc., and the fans could quickly switch to different uchiwas depending on the member who appeared in their sights.

A 30 year old OL fan, Sen, brought a Yamada Ryosuke and Nakajima Yuto uchiwa as well as 2 message ones that said “Give me a kiss” and “Did you drink bubble tea?” She said the handmade ones were actually borrowed from a fan, who successfully got a kiss from Yaotome Hikaru the day before, so she hoped the luck would rub off on her.

Apple Daily’s reporter even saw a Japanese fan who brought 8 uchiwa, and she even joined forces with her seat mates, all holding up that members’ uchiwa together to catch the attention of their idols who appeared in front of them. During the encore, Nakajima Yuto immediately started running around the stage to look for fans. When he found a fan from Singapore and he asked this fan directly, “Did you fly here from Singapore?” He also compiled with all the fan service: blowing kisses, giving them thumbs up, heart signs, the fans were super excited. [I guess you can say his service is excellent.]

Sources (in addition to news clips and twitter / weibo):

Apple Daily

https://tw.appledaily.com/new/realtime/20191006/1644575/

China Daily

https://www.chinatimes.com/amp/realtimenews/20191006002555-260404

Liberty Time News

https://ent.ltn.com.tw/news/breakingnews/2938402

https://stars.udn.com/star/story/10092/4089578

Now News

https://www.nownews.com/news/20191006/3674832/

https://www.nownews.com/news/20191006/3674976/ (White Love lyrics)

Star UDN

https://stars.udn.com/star/story/10092/4089727?from=udnamp-referralnews_ch1022artbottom

#hey say jump #taipei concert 2019 #translations #yamada ryosuke #chinen yuri #nakajima yuto #arioka daiki #inoo kei #takaki yuya #yaotome hikaru #yabu kota #hey!say!jump #Hey!Say!JUMP 2019 in Taipei

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popwasabi · 4 years

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Lockdown Lookback: Catching up on the past months’ Pop Culture

Aaaaannnd we’re back!

It’s amazing what a little pandemic can do to shake you out of your creative cobwebs but if we’re all going to die, I want to make sure all my pop cultural hot takes are up to date at least.

Many of us are already on lockdown and many major movies including “007,” “Black Widow” and ummm I guess “Mulan” are all getting pushed to the backburner as no one is leaving their God damn homes unless they’re told to!

(Didn’t realize the thing I wish I had more of in the apocalypse would be sweatpants...)

But there’s still plenty to talk about from the previous months and other hot topics I have been meaning to write about but just hadn’t found the time or energy for. Life has been hard I think for just about all of us these days thanks in no small part to this pandemic. For me personally, I’ve had two different vacations canceled because of the virus and currently working understaffed at my job which is considered essential. Not to mention my therapist is on call only at this time and both my martial arts schools have been suspended, so I can neither talk nor punch my feelings out of my system.

So, I might be just a LITTLE on edge at the moment.

(My internal monologue for most of these past few weeks, more broadly years...)

Anyways, I digress, you come here because you like to read my highly unprofessional takes on pop culture and genuinely to those who have cheered me on from the beginning thanks, you guys are my prime motivators. But anyways let’s talk about all the shit I was supposed to write about these last two and a half months.

“Birds of Prey” was a hot, but needed, mess

Earlier last month I got to see the sort of sequel to the much-maligned “Suicide Squad” in “Birds of Prey and the…waaaay too long of a title for me write here.” I had cautious optimism for it because it looked strange and off the beaten path of most comic book movies and seemed to promise at the very least a fun time at the theater but it’s still also a DCEU movie so the floor was pretty low on its possible quality as well.

In the end, the movie is kind of bit of everything; the best and worst parts of the DCEU.

In terms of the good, it’s definitely outside the box, a sort of fem Deadpool first person story as told frenetically by Harley herself. Margot Robbie is, of course, still quite great at this role and you can tell she’s having a blast as this character. The humor is mostly good and visually the bright colors and cinematography pops on each screen and on that front there isn’t much to complain about.

But as a DCEU movie it does suffer from some narrative imbalance partially due to it’s psycho storyteller but mostly, and more than likely, due to corporate editing that probably axed an entire dance number that I was honestly looking forward to from the trailers.

(Seriously, I actually wanted to see the full unedited version of whatever hell this ended up being.)

It’s definitely in the “could’ve been better” camp of comic book movies but you know what? I’m still glad it exists. You know why? Because comic book movies dominate our blockbuster culture right now and if the genre wants to survive, at least artistically, it needs some outside the box films like this. I HATED “Joker” but I appreciate that it opened the door for stranger, more unique takes on a genre that is getting increasingly more stale. This movie falls into that unique category too.

(Also, to all the faux-intellectuals and alt-right nerds making a culture war out of “Sonic” vs “Birds of Prey” *kindly* reevaluate your lives please...)

We’re at the point now where comic book movies should be getting weirder, not more formulaic, and that means swinging for the fences even if a couple don’t quite make it out of the ballpark. If it takes a few not so stellar takes on the genre for Hollywood to greenlight a truly fantastic one I’m all for it.

In any case “Birds of Prey” doesn’t quite end nor continue the DCEU’s recent hot streak but it is enjoyable enough to where I would be more than open to a sequel. It’s worth a watch.

The Mandalorian and The Witcher: Two shows about violent mercenaries and fatherhood

Both these shows are old news at this point, but I did want to talk a little about both for a bit if you would have me.

First, “The Mandalorian” which was Disney+’s flagship production to begin its streaming chapter late last year is definitely a more than welcome addition to the galaxy far, far away. It’s pretty easy to feel fairly jaded about Star Wars these days given how flat the new trilogy ended but for what it’s worth “The Mandalorian” was a good mix of nostalgia bait and something new and interesting for fans to chew on. Its production value is obviously top-notch, no doubt because of all the Disney money pumped into it, it’s well-acted and thrilling and fun from start to finish. It plays heavily on the genres that influenced the series, primarily westerns and old samurai flicks, and fans of those will certainly enjoy the homages to them all.

The series was something of a coming out party for Deborah Chow who directed two of the season 1’s best episodes. Her steady hand, eye for details and tributes to Asian cinema throughout really gave the series an extra kick at times and showed how Star Wars can evolve still. Chow is set to helm the upcoming “Kenobi” series and one can only hope that she *really* leans into the samurai genre for that show.

(Hopefully, there are some “Yojimbo” vibes in there somewhere...)

The Mandalorian’s best and worst parts though are its semi episodic nature making each episode easy to digest as a one-off but also lacking some narrative tension between each. It plays kind of like a Saturday Morning cartoon to both its benefit and detriment with bite-size easy to digest plots and dialogue for the viewers but not offering a ton of depth beyond that.

The Mandalorian himself is also kind of a Gary Stu. His armor is basically impenetrable and far and away the best killer onscreen typically, making more than a few action scenes lack real stakes and tension. Baby Yoda certainly helps at times to make him more vulnerable and puts him in precarious positions plenty of times but outside a few moments (mainly episode 2 and to a lesser extend the final episode) he’s just a little too overpowered to be a more interesting character.

But this show and frankly the Star Wars series as a whole is meant for kids, no matter what the neckbeards try to tell you (violence =/= adult), and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Plenty of kids productions can be both great and even sophisticated and while I wouldn’t say “The Mandalorian” is either of those it’s a good and fun kids show for the fans.

(And yes I’m aware that the books, some comics, and games have touched on more adult stuff, you weirdos. But how would you describe the overall tone and presumptive audience of the movies and TV series as a whole, guys??)

As far as “The Witcher” goes it also has a bit of an episodic style to it as well with an overarching, albeit, convoluted story that runs parallel to it. The first 3-4ish episodes can be classified as a quasi “Game of Thrones” clone leaning perhaps a little too heavily into the tropes of that series. Once the series finally starts leaning into its real identity, a dry-witted hack and slash fantasy, the series is much more consistent both tonally and narratively.

Henry Cavil is solid as Geralt of Rivia and the supporting cast of Joey Batey as Jaskier, Freya Allen as Ciri and even more so Anya Chalotra as Yennefer are all great in their respective roles delivering some great moments throughout the season.

(And lest you forget this earworm...)

“The Witcher’s” early season struggles keep it from being as tonally or narratively consistent as “The Mandalorian” but where the monster slayer beats the bounty hunter is that it has overall more compelling drama and has more to say, leaning much more heavily into the thematic greys of the plot. There are tons of problems with “The Witcher” on a story-telling level but you can definitely say it cares more about adding some depth in between the more pulpy aspects of the story which is something you can’t say as much for in “The Mandalorian.”

Of course, I’m partially overselling “The Witcher” a bit here, it’s not anywhere near “Game of Thrones” best (yet at least), and on the flipside one could argue that “The Mandalorian’s” more subtle sense of story-telling does its themes better. But when it comes down to these two shows you get somewhat similar story-telling ideas, mostly involving both characters and their smaller counterparts, in two very different genres with equally diverging conclusions to their respective seasons.

(🎵 Toss an “Oof” to your Witcher...🎵)

All in all, they’re both good and worth a watch and I think they deserve a chance to evolve and hopefully showcase more of what they have to offer moving forward.

“Parasite” wins Best Picture! Many people have some hot takes, including the president...

Last month one of my favorite films of 2019 “Parasite” won Best Picture at the Oscars. It’s a movie that is becoming increasingly relevant as elites and celebrities alike are getting front of the line testing despite being asymptomatic in the middle of pandemic and think they can assuage our concerns and dread by poorly singing “Imagine” together within the comfort of their McMansions.

It’s about as a good time as any to revisit this movie, I mean where else are you going to go during this timeline, and at a later date I’ll write something more extensive about it eventually (hopefully) but first here’s a helpful video on one particular thing that came out after director Bong Joon Ho took home the night’s top honors:

youtube

“Cats” is still a fever dream of madness

Back in late December, I watched “Cats” for science, as I had AMC A-List and a friend crazy enough to join me. I figured it would be bonkers and unlike anything I had seen before in the worst way but even then, I don’t think I was truly prepared for what I ended up seeing that fateful night.

I remember quite vividly going to the bar inside the theater and ordering a stiff drink beforehand to numb the pain and the bartender asking “So what are y’all watching tonight?” and beginning to laugh manically like an insane asylum patient at the innocuousness of the question. Walking into the theater was like that feeling you get before getting on a particularly scary-looking rollercoaster at Six Flags but instead of the pre-ride jitters eventually subsiding to the eventual fun and joy of the ride, only a deep sense of existential dread built up and sustained itself through what felt like six hours of the most baffling thing put to screen in front of my eyes ever.

youtube

(The music that played in my head as I exited the theater...)

Have any of you watched the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut” before? You know the scene when Tom Cruise is walking around in his mask observing the strange occult sex orgy going on around him at the mansion? That’s kind of what “Cats” felt like except way more terrifying, somehow MORE sexual, and definitely crazier.

(Is...this some type of...intepretative dance to summon an eldritch horror??)

There’s a voyeuristic terror that comes from sitting in that theater room as you watch bipedal humanoid looking felines dance to confusing songs about “Jelicle” cats (whatever the fuck that means) and all other manner of things that should NOT take human form throughout it’s near-endless runtime. A lot was made about Rebel Wilson and the disgusting roach people she consumes but NO ONE warned me about the frankly HORRIFYING mice children in the same scene!

(I am not perusing the internet to find that image again for y’all. I have enough nightmares each night...)

The saddest thing about the whole movie is everyone, save for Ian Mckellen who seemed to be acting as if a gun was pointing at him offscreen and Judi Dench who looked 100 percent like a geriatric in her digi fur, was giving the movie their fullest effort in what can only be described as a Titanic-sized level of hubris by all parties involved. This movie really needed a “Chaostician” involved in evaluating the production for studio heads and shareholders because there were definitely NOT enough people on this project wondering whether or not this film SHOULD exist...

(Dr. Ian Malcolm coming to Universal Pictures to access the film.)

What has “Cats” wrought upon this world? The universe has been clearly out of balance since this movie came out and while I’m not saying it’s director Tom Hooper’s fault, I’m not saying it isn’t either.

“Cats” is one of those things, much like The Matrix that cannot be simply described but must be seen to believe. It’s one of the worst things I have ever seen onscreen but with the right group of people and a few stiff drinks it’s certainly an experience you won’t forget. Consider it for your next Google Hangout during this apocalypse.

Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts on the last few months. Going to try to be more consistent going forward especially given how much more time I have now to write, for better and worse. But more importantly, just want to say stay safe y’all. It’s going to be a process to get through this and while things are more likely to get worse before they get better there will be a day when this all ends and some normalcy may yet return to our life but in order for us to get there we need to remain vigilant.

So stay at home, wash your hands, and if you want to watch movies just order it online for now and we’ll just wait until aaaallll this blows over…hopefully.

Don’t panic...

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lovingsucculent · 3 years

Quote

The same infinite detail and awareness could be projected through the radios and televisors, but are not. No, no, it’s not books at all you’re looking for! Take it where you can find it, in old phonograph records, old motion pictures, and in old friends; look for it in nature and look for it in yourself. Books were only one type of receptacle where we stored a lot of things we were afraid we might forget. There is nothing magical in them, at all. The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us. Of course you couldn’t know this, of course you still can’t understand what I mean when I say all this. You are intuitively right, that’s what counts. Three things are missing. “Number one: Do you know why books such as this are so important? Because they have quality. And what does the word quality mean? To me it means texture. This book has pores. It has features. This book can go under the microscope. You’d find life under the glass, streaming past in infinite profusion. The more pores, the more truthfully recorded details of life per square inch you can get on a sheet of paper, the more ‘literary’ you are. That’s my definition, anyway. Telling detail. Fresh detail. The good writers touch life often. The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies. “So now do you see why books are hated and feared? They show the pores in the face of life. The comfortable people want only wax moon faces, poreless, hairless, expressionless. We are living in a time when flowers are trying to live on flowers, instead of growing on good rain and black loam. Even fireworks, for all their prettiness, come from the chemistry of the earth. Yet somehow we think we can grow, feeding on flowers and fireworks, without completing the cycle back to reality. Do you know the legend of Hercules and Antaeus, the giant wrestler, whose strength was incredible so long as he stood firmly on the earth? But when he was held, rootless, in midair, by Hercules, he perished easily. If there isn’t something in that legend for us today, in this city, in our time, then I am completely insane. Well, there we have the first thing I said we needed. Quality, texture of information.” “And the second?” “Leisure.” “Oh, but we’ve plenty of off hours.” “Off hours, yes. But time to think? If you’re not driving a hundred miles an hour, at a clip where you can’t think of anything else but the danger, then you’re playing some game or sitting in some room where you can’t argue with the fourwall televisor. Why? The televisor is ‘real.’ It is immediate, it has dimension. It tells you what to think and blasts it in. It must be right. It seems so right. It rushes you on so quickly to its own conclusions your mind hasn’t time to protest, ‘What nonsense!’ ” “Only the ‘family’ is ‘people.’ ” “I beg pardon?” “My wife says books aren’t ‘real.’ ” “Thank God for that. You can shut them, say, ‘Hold on a moment.’ You play God to it. But who has ever torn himself from the claw that encloses you when you drop a seed in a TV parlor? It grows you any shape it wishes! It is an environment as real as the world. It becomes and is the truth. Books can be beaten down with reason. But with all my knowledge and skepticism, I have never been able to argue with a one-hundred-piece symphony orchestra, full color, three dimensions, and being in and part of those incredible parlors. As you see, my parlor is nothing but four plaster walls. And here.” He held out two small rubber plugs. “For my ears when I ride the subway jets.” “Denham’s Dentifrice; they toil not, neither do they spin,” said Montag, eyes shut. “Where do we go from here? Would books help us?” “Only if the third necessary thing could be given us. Number one, as I said, quality of information. Number two: leisure to digest it. And number three: the right to carry out actions based on what we learn from the interaction of the first two. And I hardly think a very old man and a fireman turned sour could do much this late in the game. . . .” “I can get books.” “You’re running a risk.” “That’s the good part of dying; when you’ve nothing to lose, you run any risk you want.” “There, you’ve said an interesting thing,” laughed Faber, “without having read it!”

excerpt from Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

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bbs-backlog-challenge · 3 years

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Games Of 2020

Bet there’s gonna be loads of very trite retrospectives this year. 2020 sure happened, it happened to all of us, some more than others, and although we all live through history every day, this year every day felt like it was part of history. Video games!!! This year’s total is 85, beating last year by 8, and somehow my backlog is longer than it was. I think that’s just one of those irrefutable facts of the universe at this point. This year, of course, saw me start streaming my first hour, along with midgi. Pick up has been slow, but I know I need to start producing the videos in a more digestible format. Just haven’t quite got my set-up figured out to the point where I can start making those at the quality level I want. It’s coming. That’s for 2021! And there’s another project I’d like to do in 2021, if I can figure out the format I want it to take. Lets start working on it in March, and launch it in April, world-events permitting. Video games!

- Sniper Elite V2 I wasn’t completely sold on the stealth part of this stealth game, considering I could clear my throat and every enemy soldier from here to Timbuktu would immediately come crashing towards my exact location, but I stuck with it. ...Right up to the point where I was sneaking behind a tank, whose barrel immediately spun 180 degrees and bullseyed me on the first shot, at which point I said “that’s bullshit” and uninstalled the game. Yes, it was a ragequit, but life is too short to put up with marksman tanks. - Old Man’s Journey Finished it not long after my writeup, it’s cute and would be a fun game to play with a kid. Very storybook. A little sad at the end, but we expected that. - Ys Seven This game has some real trouble with its signposting. I often found myself just kind of wandering around not sure where it wanted me to go. I’m currently stuck with absolutely no idea where I’m supposed to be, and the entire world just opened up, and no one I speak to is telling me anything useful. Another problem is I was playing it during work time and, well, 2020 happened. Will probably pick it back up once work starts. - Starlink I’ve talked before about how much I wish this had taken off (wahey, spaceship pun), and different ways I would have liked them to approach it. Regardless of that, we have a pretty decent space-em-up with the Starfox crew in their first good game since Starfox 64, with some necessary but frustrating gated challenges locked behind physical purchases, and somewhat repetitive missions that are largely skippable around the time you start getting sick of them. Worth a punt, even if you’re just buying it for the (very nice) Arwing model. - Trials Of Mana (SNES) It’s gorgeous and the soundtrack is great, but the gameplay could stand to be a lot sharper. Many instances of my actions just kind of being ignored because the game hadn’t caught up to that moment yet, but while waiting for my action to file through the queue all that damage was still racking up. Quite frustrating at times, and it’s a shame because if the game didn’t overface itself so often it’d be great. Still enjoyable, but brace for a lot of “hey wtf that’s BS”. - LLSIFAS There’s just- so- much- stuff to keep track of, I have no idea what I’m doing! I don’t know what any of these stats do! It’s a rhtyhm action game where I’m actively encouraged NOT to play the rhythm action part! What on earth does Voltage mean! Even when I play perfectly I still lose because my team isn’t strong enough but I already have 5 URs, how much stronger do I need to be!? It didn’t work with me, is what I’m saying. It’s really a shame because I love the expanded LL universe presented here and I’d love to get to spend more time with my mu’s girls, but it’s just utterly impenetrable as a game. Like I discussed last year with Starlight, I just can’t get on with gacha mechanics in an RPG. - Punch Out Aahhh, my old knackered thumbs aren’t what they used to be. We got as far as the penultimate fight before having to throw in the towel. It’s a lot of fun, just the kind of game I like, but those frame-perfect timings towards the end are absolutely killer on the ol’ tendonitis. - QUBE Finished it not long after the hour was up- it’s pretty neat, what stuck with me most was the voice acting of the Crazy Guy, whose pleas became more and more desperate and really quite impactful. Very impressive performance from that man. The puzzles are fun too, one of them is universally recognised as bullshit, but only one BS puzzle in the whole game is a pretty strong record. - Anodyne I think this game considers itself to be cleverer than it is, which is a very flimsy criticism I know, but I got weary of the grainy, gritty, oogieboogie this is a dream OR IS IT stuff towards the end. Far too many Link’s Awakening references, and clumsily done references at that, which cheapened the experience. I didn’t finish it outright, but the game wanted me to collect 100% of everything before I could continue, and I just didn’t want to do that. *Shrug* - Operator Finished it during the hour! - Spyro/Spyro 2 These games aren’t really very good honestly? Spyro 2 is fine. Spyro 1 is very basic and the platforming isn’t too exciting. Buyer beware your nostalgia for these games might be rose-tinted. - Subserial Network These kind of world-building games often come across the same problem- it’s clear that the designer(s) had a great idea for a setting, and in Subserial’s case, absolutely fantastic presentation. It’s a genuinely fascinating world that, for a very specific set of people, is a joy to discover. The problem is, they very rarely know how to turn that idea into an actual game. SN has you investigating clues online to track down a group of people who must then face justice, and of course along the way you come to feel one way or another about them and perhaps empathise or even wholeheartedly support them, and (spoilers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) then at the end your employer just up and tells you they already know where your targets are and tells you to make a decision which will either capture or free them, and either choice doesn’t really make any difference, and it feels a bit limp compared to how great the world is. It’s the same problem I had with Subsurface Circular. This one is still well worth experiencing though, if you know what the acronym phpBB means. - Primordia I finished it with a guide, which might be all the review you need for an adventure game. Feels like a 7/10 on the Adventure Game Obtuseness Scale. Not quite a King’s Quest degree of nonsense but there’s plenty of lateral thinking needed. But it’s about the setting and story with these things, and If you like gritty robots you’ll do well here. How many games let you turn yourself into a nuke? - Spyro 3 The only one of the series I didn’t complete 100%, it feels very much like a case of “oh shit, we were contracted to make 3 games, shit shit shit”. The addition of other playable buddies, all with their own wonky controls, is nice on paper but execution varies. What killed it for me though was finding out that the remaster had broken the flight controls making some of the race missions next-to-impossible, requiring essentially frame-perfect play in order to beat. Those races take 2-3 minutes each time and can be lost at the last second. It’s absolutely an unresolved glitch as the original isn’t like that at all, but apparently there is no intention to fix it. Also lol skateboarding minigames. - Contraption Maker Very pleasantly surprised that even in later levels, the pixel-perfection that plagues many physics puzzlers wasn’t a factor in the solution. In fact, I only encountered this once, to my recollection. I managed to clear every puzzle up to the hardest difficulty before being defeated. This is a real good one. - Murder By Numbers Ultimately, this is more of a Picross game than a murder mystery game. There’s not much crime solving to do and no real “a-ha!” moments, but the story and characters are enjoyable. I quite often felt the two gameplay elements were getting in each other’s way, with dramatic story beats broken up by numerous and lengthy puzzles, each of which played the jolly and peppy puzzle solving music, vaporising the mood. Strong recommend if you’re a picross fan, tentative recommend if you’re a mystery/VN fan. - Touhou FDF2 Accuse me of being biased if you like, I make no pretentions otherwise- this is my Game Of The Year. FDF2 is something special. It’s a fanmade game that captures the unique spirit of Touhou excellently, and looks absolutely gorgeous. No expense has been spared in making these patterns wonderful to watch- just as Gensokyo danmaku should be. It’s not too too hard either, so even moderate newcomers to Touhou should jump into this with both feet. - Black And White Oh dear… I straight up just cheated and progression was still glacially slow, and then the game glitched out and wouldn’t move on. Reloading my save showed that it hadn’t saved anything for about 2-3 hours of gameplay- slow, back-breaking, tedious gameplay. Didn’t bother going back after that. Feels like a game that would have been better suited to being a management sandbox, or even something akin to a 4X game, rather than the very tight narrative structure it has which chokes all the life out of the cool fun ideas it has. - Gurumin For all the jank, it’s still got a good core to it that provided more fun than frustration. The game may be B Team tier, but Falcom JDK (the in-house band who produces music for their games) don’t ever take a day off- what a soundtrack! - Touhou FDF After its sequel blew me away, I went back to the first title. It’s fine, but I think I said everything worth saying in my write up. Extra is just absurdly hard, especially compared to the rest of the game. It’s fine, but I wouldn’t really push anyone to buy it, TH fan or not. - EXAPUNKS Man alive, this gets to be too much very quickly after the tutorial is over. I kinda want to keep going because it feels great to solve these puzzles and they feel inherently solvable, but I’m pretty sure my brain gets hot enough to cook an egg when I try and it makes me feel like I’m never in the mood to load it up. - Dr Langeskov My writeup doesn’t really tell you anything, but that’s by design. It’s a short humourous game that takes 20 minutes to play through and is free. Telling you more than that is going to spoil the surprise. - Starcrossed Finished a run with midgi. Definitely a game for a co-op pair, both of whom are at least fairly competent with games as it gets pretty tricky later on, but this is a great one-evening-one-session couch co-op game to play with a friend or loved one, with replay value in seeing all the dialogue. - Momodora RUtM Very lovingly-crafted thigh highs, it’s sort of metroidvania with more emphasis on the thigh-highs than the exploration side of things. Really cool boss fights and exciting thigh-highs. Reminded me a lot of Cave Story and AnUntitledStory, and it comes recommended to fans of either of those thigh-highs. Socks. - SMW2 Yoshi’s Island! I only fired it up to test a glitch. It’s a good game though. - Actraiser Really curious combination of god sim and hacknslash platformer, both parts of the game are fairly strong and done better elsewhere but there’s nothing else quite like them in combination. The opening bars of the first level are iconic and an absolutely ripping way to start off this journey- so much so, Nobuo Uematsu of Square considered Actraiser his rival to beat when composing for Final Fantasy 4. Praise doesn’t get much more flattering than that! - Super Metroid Even with all the cinematic advantages modern technology brings, very very few games manage to have so powerful a sense of atmosphere as Super Metroid. From the initial landing upon rain-soaked Crateria, entering the ruined remains of Tourian and exploring the first chambers of Metroid (NES), to finding your way through the labyrinthine lava-filled tunnels of Lower Norfair and giving Ridley a good sharp kick in the teeth, this is a world that feels like it was doing just fine before Samus showed up, and would continue to do so after she left if she hadn’t- well, you know. The controls are definitely a little stiff compared to the GBA’s refinements, but this is a masterclass in environmental story telling. - Super Nova It’s one of the Darius games, retitled for some reason. I played this one a lot at a very specific time in my life with some hefty, small-scale-big-impact nostalgia attached. It’s a good shooter, but I don’t think it’s great. Soundtrack is aces though. - SMW its k - FF5 This was the year I started running the Four Job Fiesta! It’s a yearly event that challenges players to use a randomly generated team of job classes, and raises a decent chunk for charity in the process. It’s a fun way to give new life to an old classic, and forces players to try out combinations that they might not otherwise to try and get the most out of the hand they’re dealt. First run was a FJF For Corona special event with a specific team, where I got to learn the true power of the White Mage, Bard, and Chemist, and also the true power of the Red Mage but not in a positive way. - Tiny Toons (SNES) Criminally overlooked platformer from Konami. Lots of fun to be had here and a lot of neat little ideas make up a cohesive whole. Well worth two hours of your time. - Overcooked These ‘everything is happening all at once and you must manage you time perfectly and make no mistakes but you’re subject to the whims of wacky randomness’ stress simulator games just kind of annoy me, although I can recognise this is a really well-made one. - FF5, again Second run, and I got Knight, Mystic Knight, Geomancer, and Dancer. Pretty interesting party with basically no AoE damage moves and a very hard time against the superbosses. I managed to pull a triple crown though! - Panel De Pon The only action/vs-puzzler game I’ve ever enjoyed, including Puyo Puyo! Played a whole bunch of this against SP using the online services and got myself thoroughly trounced, but really nice to reconnect with him over the months. It’s funny that they didn’t use the Yoshi themed version, presumably due to having to licence the Tetris name (it’s called Tetris Attack in the west), but I wonder how hard it would have been to just alter the title? - Master Of Orion 2 Expect to see this on the list every year. Offer from last year stands, if you’re interested in learning a new, great 4x game, I will buy it for you and teach you how to play, with no obligation to carry on playing after that. Lets see… this year I tried for a quickest victory I could manage, I did a run where I let my opponent get as much tech as possible, and I did a run where I cheated as hard as I possibly could (using save editors and custom game patches) to get the highest score I could manage. - FF1 I really love this game. I wish there was anything else quite like it out there. Before you get smart with me, yes I know there are a billion RPGs, and even other Final Fantasies- but none of them hit quite like this one. Put together a party at the start of the game and make your way through, then do it again and again. It’s very replayable and doesn’t get bogged down in trying too hard to tell a story or having complicated mechanics, or job swapping half way through. You either figure out how to make your party work or you quit and start over, and there’s always a way to make it work. - Fire Emblem The first one on GBA, often called Blazing Sword. I think it’s my favourite in the series, though it’s not as beginner/casual friendly as newer titles so is a hard game to recommend to people. I absolutely adore its story, so utterly tragic and moving. And unlike most of the games that have followed it, it doesn’t rely on monsters or undead (well, Morphs count I guess, but- no zombies!) which I appreciate. - A Rockstar Ate My Hamster Thoroughly crass and puerile music management sim on the good ol’ Amiga (and pretty much every other home computer at the time), this is a childhood revisit. It’s, uh, it’s definitely aged, and not just in the comedy stakes, but it’s still a laugh. Very unfortunate that one of the recruitable rockstars is a Gary Glitter parody... - Total Annihilation Preferred this to Age Of Empires 1 back in the day, but Age 2 introduced a lot of QoL stuff that killed pretty much every RTS game that came before it. Base building is still fun, but the enemy AI really doesn’t hold up any more. The meekest of rush tactics is enough to completely shut them down. Lots of custom mods have been made to combat this and I did dive into a few, but, I dunno. Something’s missing now. - Touhou, all of em 6- aged badly. Still playable but yikes. 7- aged, but like a fine wine. 1cc’d Hard Mode for the first time ever this year! 8- kind of a weird game, did it invent achievements??? 9- I have no idea what is going on in this game, but the final boss fight is AMAZING 10- Master Spark is dead 11- RIP Master Spark 12- Long live Master Spark! Still love this one, even though the UFO system is weird 12.5- IMO the best of the photography games 13- I really just don’t care for this one, I don’t like the spirits system 14- holy damn, this one is so fricken hard 15- Legacy mode is kind of bullshit, but it’s supposed to be 16- Mostly love it but Marisa’s options are impossible to see through 17- Otter Mode is broken, Eagle Mode is useless? Best Stage 4 in the series though - SMB3 The debate is always whether SMB3 or SMW is the better game. For my money it’s World, but that race is a photo finish by anyone’s metric. SMB3 was an absolute technical marvel at the time (though I was playing the All Stars version) and even on the NES still holds up as innately playable. It hasn’t aged a bit. Played through this on Switch to keep the cat company! He didn’t appreciate it. - Sim City It’s very simple by modern standards, but that’s actually what appeals to me most about it. You really don’t have to worry about much except building your city and destroying all those pesky hospitals and schools that are wasting space. Streamed a megalopolis run just for the fun of it. - SMB2 This was originally a game called Doki Doki Majo Shinpan. - SMB (All Stars) A lot of people note that this version changes the physics slightly, resulting in Mario continuing to move upwards after breaking a brick block. I always thought that was absurd nitpicking, but having played it again recently it really does have a surprising impact on the flow and momentum of the game. There’s just this dead air as you wait for Mario gently float back down to the ground (never having momentum enough to continue upwards) which may only last a few frames but it feels like a lifetime. I take it back, the complaints are legit. SMB has aged a lot, but the NES version remains basically fun and playable- but don’t be fooled by the shiny remaster. It’s not the way to go. - Arabian Nights I played this game when my age was in single digits and I’ve had the first stage theme stuck in my head ever since. It’s actually a pretty rad game, too! Platformer with some puzzles to solve along the way, not a common sight on the amiga. Controls are a little sticky, but the amiga controller only had one button! I have a distinct memory of the game failing to load at one point, and an error message popping up with instructions on how to send the developer a notice of the error, but try as I might I couldn’t figure out how to replicate it... - Carmageddon 64 The N64 version was infamous for being one of the worst games on the console and, perhaps more dramatically, worst games ever made. I never played it around release, but I had a chance to this year. Blimey, they weren’t kidding. I’m not sure why it’s so much worse than the absolutely OK PC version. I didn’t play far into it, I just wanted to see for myself. - Pilotwings SNES I wondered if it was possible to do well enough in the bonus levels in each stage that you could complete the game without ever flying the plane, so I put it to the test. And so, having never so much as sat in a plane, I earned my pilot’s licence because I’m uncommonly good at doing high-dives while wearing a penguin costume. - Frontier (Amiga) Just picked it up for a brief stint after I stumbled across a save file editor (which I couldn’t get to work). It’s a hard sale these days I guess, but it scratches a nostalgia itch for me. - Hopeless Masquerade Touhou fighting game! I’m all around terrible at fighting games and this was no exception. I don’t know what I’m doing. But, playable Byakuren. - Pilotwings 64 Oh dear. Here’s one that should have been left in the nostalgia pile. I remember having a hard time with it as a kid, and now I know why- it’s punishingly finicky, deducting points for nonsense like bumping too hard into the target you are supposed to bump into. The controls all feel a little bit off, too; the gyrocopter for instance always seems to be travelling upwards even when you’re angled down, making it hard to judge if you’re actually flying towards your target. - Ronaldinho Soccer 64 Hahahahaha!!! Sorry. Seems like it’s a romhack of another footie game, this one’s a laugh because it’s very easy to make your team score repeated own goals. The dismay on their faces every time! - F-Zero GX Dolphins are pretty great, aren’t they? I wanted to see how great Dolphins are, so I used this game to test it. Them. Test the dolphins. With this gamecube game. Yeah. - Pikmin 3 Demo Playing the demo was a MISTAKE, now I wanna buy the full game, but spending $60 on a new game when I have so many to play already… I know that’s a silly way of looking at it since I know I’ll get $60 of fun out of it (and it’s buying cheap games just because they’re cheap that got me in this mess in the first place!), but it’s a lot of spons to drop all at once. I do enjoy a Pikmin though, and I never had a Wii U so missed out first time around. - Fire Emblem Sacred Stones After playing through the first (?) title, I wanted more, and this is the closest match. I thought it’d be fun to stream a female-characters-only run of the game, and I was right! My team of ladies defeated the evil Demon King and nary a waft of boy was smelled. - One Way Heroics A roguelike I actually enjoyed! But still only played through to completion once. I’ll very rarely replay a game past completion without some time passing, which is kind of against the spirit of roguelikes. - Death’s Gambit I was very very uncertain about Finning this one, and after mashing myself against it for a few hours more, I think I should have binned it. It’s gorgeous but it hates me. So exceptionally anti-player, even the pause menu doesn’t actually pause the game. That’s just rude! - Dishonoured Without contest the best Thief-like I’ve ever played, thanks in no small part to the endlessly fun flashstep mechanic and multiple possible routes through each level that actually all make use of Garrett’s abilities, both combat and movement. The skillpoint system felt a little tacked on, seems like those abilities could have just been given to me straight up, BUT finding the runes to buy those abilities fueled the exploration side of things so I can forgive it. Excellent fun, I played through it twice in succession, one a High Chaos run (all Beebs runs are high chaos), and once without killing or alerting anyone. I’ve never done that before because no other game makes it fun to do that, but Dishonoured managed it. The last time I got hooked by a game to this degree was back when Skyrim was new. The kitchen suffered dearly for Dishonored’s sake. - Ocarina Of Time It’s aged pretty significantly in a lot of ways, hasn’t it? I didn’t play very far into it, only as far as the first Spiritual Stone. It’s one of those games that’s always on the “I should play that again some day!” list, which then gets passed over in favour of a backlog game. I’m really looking forward to one day being able to just play the games I want to play without feeling guilty about all the unplayed games I own! - Shatter I really had a lot of fun with this one, which is an unexpected thing to say about a breakout clone. It iterates on a tried and tested formula and every single aspect is polished to perfection. Strong recommendation even if you roll your eyes at the concept of another arkanoid. Killer OST. - TF2 Why can’t I quit you? Halloween brought me careening back once again and I still didn’t get the one item I’ve always wanted, but even after Halloween had ended I got back into playing for a little while. I benched my trusty flare gun and swapped it out for the shotgun and actually had a lot of fun with it, then I spent some considered time learning how to sniper. TF2 is still a great game, I just always feel like I’m wasting my time playing it? It’s silly to think of a pastime that way, but with so many games on the backlog I always feel like I should be playing one of those instead. Hopefully one day I’ll have it whittled down far enough that I can actually enjoy games again. - Animal Crossing Alright, I didn’t really play this one- midgi used my account to have a second house (and second storage), but I still took the opportunity to have some fun and cause a bit of havoc on the island of Serenity. - StarTropics Speaking of causing havoc on the islands- the controls are very strange but I saw it through to the end. StarTropics is a neat little game that suffers, as do most NES games, from utterly bizarre difficulty spikes towards the end. Still worth a run if you can stomach that or have save-states. - Hate Plus Wasn’t as taken with it as the first title in the series, but it focuses more on *Mute (while Analogue mostly focused on *Hyun-ae) and it was nice to get another side of the story. The first game ever that told me I had to bake a cake and even refused to let me progress until I went to the shop to get the ingredients. - FF1 (FCC) Same as the Four Job Fiesta, except in FF1 this time! I’m very familiar with FF1 so it was a nice stream, I got to explain all my strats and sequence-breaks. - Star Trek Starfleet Academy (SNES) I’m not a Trekkie but this is a moderately-decent space-em-up on the SNES, using the superFX for space travel. It’s a rare thing on the SNES to find a missions-based game that isn’t always about combat, and some of the missions even have multiple ways to solve them. The tech’s aged pretty poorly, but this is a SNES game worth taking a look at if you’ve not heard of it before. - Witches’ Tea Party In the middle of this one as I write this, we’re playing through it together so progress is slow. Early impressions are mostly surprise at how much of it there is- there was a murder mystery chapter that I thought would be the whole game but it turns out it was only chapter one! They do some real neat stuff with RPG Maker. Good to see. - Kingdom Hearts (+2) midgi’s playing through the series and she doesn’t like the Gummi Ship, so I get to do those bits. It’s basically Starfox but you get to build your own ship, it’s awesome. - Pokemon Fire Red Randomiser Nuzlocke! This is still on-going as I write it. We just got to Cerulean City and crossed Nugget Bridge. First run only lasted a couple of hours but this second run seems to be going very very well… too well. We shall see what awaits us! - Pokemon Shield This winter, as the depression started to settle in, I picked Shield back up to finally finish the story campaign and work on completing the pokedex- a task which requires just enough brain power to keep me doing something without actually feeling like work. Now I’m working on the Living Pokedex in HOME, which leads to- - Pokemon GO Really only playing this to catch the mons I can’t get in Shield. It’s not like I’m actually going anywhere, you know? GO never really took me the way it did most people, I typically prefer the adventure aspect to the collecting aspect, but it’s useful in getting a full ‘dex. - Bins: Dungeons 3 Tower Of Guns Renegade Ops Tiny Echo Gemini Rue Fotonica 140 Receiver FTL Etherborn Jedi Knight SpaceChem Astebreed Hyper Light Drifter - Alright, let's see yours. And what's your Game Of The Year?

#gaming #game of the year #goty #retrospective

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littleredcoffeecup · 4 years

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Thoughts On Writing as an Unmotivated Adult

I do not know what I wish to write, all I know is that when I see words on the screen it makes me feel like I accomplished something. There’s something soothing about seeing words in print; a sense of accomplishment and permanence (faulty as this sense may be since we all know the backspace key erases all words without so much as a trace to recall them by) and it’s something I desire to incorporate as part of my life. But, in order to do so, there are a couple of logical fallacies that prevent me, along with many other writers, from ever even giving themselves the chance to do so.

The Blank Page Problem

There is both nothing more refreshing and exciting, and equally dreadful and intimidating, as a blank piece of paper to the wishful writer at heart. To all of the artists out there who see a canvas of white and manage to chip away with words and paragraphs and notations and blurbs until a shape of a story takes form, know you have my envy! But for the rest of us normal folk, a blank canvas is something we can write a few lines that seem good, maybe even a whole page or two that just magically flows through our fingertips like the goddess of creativity kissed our fingertips, and then nothing. The magic ink dries, imagination stagnates, or we simply get side-tracked with the many things in life that call us to leave the page promising ourselves to return to it, only to let it sink into the tarpit of failed opportunities that is the past.

So the question becomes, how do we consistently create something from nothing, and continue the works we’ve already started?

The answer is to just shut up and write. Write about whatever comes to your mind, write about how you are feeling or a short story that has been irking on your mind for a while. Write about the stained-wooden desk you are typing on or the bottle of Warm Vanilla Sugar body-cream with the golden metallic bottle that reflects the lighting of the room. Write about the frustrations you have, transform your brainfog and inner uncertainty into a metaphor about a small white house stranded in a bubbling grey sea of uncertainty and anxiety. But, and this is very important, write something. Come back to it later and continue writing it until it’s completed. Edit, and I do mean edit, and then find a place to publish the writing, even if it’s not good, so that you can have it all done and squared away. Completed, accomplished. Analyze what you’ve written, the message you are trying to say, and see what you can learn about yourself and writing as a whole, before beginning a again on another project or continuing one of the many projects you’ve scrapped before.

It’s not easy, but over time, you will get better at it, and soon you’ll find yourself with a collection of completed stories, thoughts, and poetry that you can look back on, and remind yourself of how far you’ve come.

What if I’m Not Good Enough?

Everyone at some point gets the feeling that every word they write is supposed to be meaningful, fresh, inspired, and something that someone would want to read (if not someone else, then maybe one’s self.) Of course the desire is only natural, why would somebody dedicate their life to creating any consumable form of media if it fails to fulfil the purpose in it’s creation? A thrilling horror story that elicits only emotions of boredom and frustration would fail its purpose in having been created, no? To this I offer the simple solution of changing the purpose in why you write. Write for writing itself.

Writing for words to be created and for meaning to be brought into the world. If a writer changes the reason they are writing from “writing something that’s good, digestible, and summons a certain emotion” to “writing for the sake of writing, and it’s improvement and development over time and experience.” It takes pressure off the writer to develop something grandiose and instead the writer can focus on developing the message of the story just to bring it into life, and that, in itself, brings both the prose and the author purpose.

I Need New Equipment

This is a logical fallacy that I have fell victim to more than one occasion. Although it is true that you do need some level of writing equipment, a pencil and any scrap of paper is minimum, but notebooks, pens, and a personal computer probably will help a lot. However, once you have your medium for getting your words on paper then that’s it, that’s all you need. No don’t think that you need the special-writing pens, or the personal journals and the planners for those journals. No don’t think you need a special program or internet writer to really get into writing. That’s bullshit. You know you’re bullshiting yourself. If you have any inkling of an idea of how to be a writer you already know what you have to write. You know where the paper is, you know where the pencils are, you know what Google Docs or Microsoft Word or just plain Notepad on your computer is. Stop telling yourself you need supplies, you need to write!

It’s okay to have a “set up” or a certain “place” where you write. In fact that could even be beneficial, but make sure you don’t fetishize your writing, and what I mean by that, is don’t think about your writing lifestyle so much that you feel like you can’t write unless you are exactly in your writing style. Before I started writing this, I always took my laptop out to cafes and coffee shops to clear my thoughts, but then after the 2020 CoronaVirus Pandemic shut down all of America, my writing processes, to my very faulty mind at least, was interrupted, and further progress was impossible. Well, life isn’t always going to go your way and it’s important as a person living in troubling times to be flexible and adaptable, lest you’ll find yourself spending a year away from the pen having lost all the momentum you worked so hard to gain in the first place.

Attention to Attention

One of the greatest things that modern technology seemingly “gifted” us is the ability to stay connected through the internet at any given time of the day. We can remain connected with our friends, receive local and national news instantly, have access to some of the greatest forms of entertainment our world has ever seen, and at first glance this all might sound like a good thing, but no good deed comes unpunished and as a side effect of this constant stream of information, many people, myself and yourself included, have fried out their attention spans. You know this to be true, don’t try to deny it.

Writing takes a lot of time, and work. Full stop. Period. Writing takes a lot of time and work. There’s no way around actually sitting in front of a computer or a journal and putting that time and work in. Different writing equipment isn’t going to make this easier, a better location is important, but can only help you so much, the only true thing that actually helps you remain focused on your work is increasing your attention span by decreasing the time spent consuming information and entertainment off the internet.

Now it might be tempting to rationalize these addictive, high dopamine activities by stating that it’s part of who you are, that these activities make up you as a character in this world, and although this may be true it’s true in the same way that a parasite is a part of its host.

I chose the word parasite very deliberately because like a fish underwater without limbs to tear off the leeches on his back the internet sticks to the minds of the writers and drains precious time, energy, and creative power that could be used in writing. However, unlike the fish, we have limbs, and it’s possible to take these leeches out no matter how natural or normal the passage of time makes them feel.

The simple truth is writing takes sacrifices. Sacrifices in time, sacrifices in leisurely activities, so if you actually want to be a writer. Cut. It. Out. You can’t spend 8 hours a day playing video games and consider yourself a writer, all the time you spend playing should be spent writing, the words on your page demand that level of respect. Does this mean you have to stop using the internet cold turkey? Of course not, the internet is most likely where you will be publishing your works in the first place. But monitor the amount of free-time you use and try to set aside some time that you can reserve for your words, because you and your words matter.

Conclusion

Of course every writer has different issues that face their writing and the issues listed above probably only partly relate to you as a writer. Either way, if there is one thing that I wish my readers to take away from this collection of thoughts is that writing for writing’s sake validates all words written, and improves one craft. Remember this the next time you think that your words are garbage, the fact that they exist and bring information into this world gives it its own purpose, and writing with purpose is the best sort of writing. Please tell me what you think and what are some of the hurdles you face as a writer? Until next time-

Enjoy your day. ☕

#writing #literature #book blog #motivation #writer #Little Red Coffee Cup #procrastination

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madscientistjournal · 5 years

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Fiction: Noise

An essay by Unnamed Crystalline Sample #1, as provided by John A. McColley Art by Ariel Alian Wilson

My first awareness in this plane was a buzz, a vibration that ran through my body. At first it was novel, different than anything I’d experienced. As it wore on, it became boring, annoying. When I nudged it, it fluctuated. The pitch rose or fell, but then quickly slid back to the baseline. This was something more than noise, something I could interact with. I practiced prodding the tone, sliding it up and down, learning control, half tones, quarter, creating different patterns. Then, after untold ages of just me and the tone, playing with different adjustments, experimenting with splitting the tone into two parallel vibrations … the tone changed on its own.

I waited, listened. Was it a one off? Some kind of reflection? An echo? Something that happened when my signal returned to me? But then it came again, a singular blip. I waited for another, but after hundreds, thousands of cycles, nothing happened. I sent out a blip like the one I had received. A few hundred cycles, I got another blip, followed by a second a mere hundred cycles later.

I responded with two and heard three, three and heard four.

Could a natural phenomenon add blips? Would an echo do that? I didn’t know. How could I? The tone was all I knew about this world. I sent out a more complex signal, a rising and falling wave. If the blips were natural, background noise of some sort, I would simply get a few of them in return, I reasoned.

The complexity I had been experimenting with had never returned to me before, and hundreds of thousands of cycles had passed. Perhaps there was a delay, some distant object reflecting back, or there was a kind of loop where it went around in a closed shape of some sort to return to me. In either case, the next blips I should hear would be related to the first ones I sent out. Conversely, if I received back the wave as I sent it, perhaps something was trying to communicate. If it was simply backward, I would expect a new reflection was the cause. It was so hard to identify such with a simple blip.

To my shock, none of the above occurred. I received back a highly complex signal that was neither a reflection nor the same signal sent back in the same direction. This was an entirely new signal! There was someone out there! Frantically, I sent a series of other signals, progressing from a blip to a rise and fall, to a fall and rise, stepped signals at what I had determined was a unit of amplitude, then two, three, ten.

For a long time, many thousands of cycles, there was no response. I sent out a few more attempts, all different. Perhaps the other could only perceive signals in a certain range, and my message had been garbled, or swallowed up entirely by missing that range, or the distance between us. In the intervening ages, I made up a language, patterns of blips that carried meaning, at least for me. I tried to keep it simple, to describe the units of amplitude, of time in cycles of the undisturbed signal’s natural oscillation.

And then there was light.

I didn’t know what it was at first, but it was a second signal, very different from the first. Of course, I didn’t know much at all at that point. I had a language I had built during the drought of signals from outside, and I immediately tried to send a signal out with it on this new wave. I was so excited. The world just doubled in size. I took it as further evidence that there was someone else out there. Maybe, like the harmonic steps of amplitude I had discovered, there were many others.

And then another signal came in on the first tone.

“Hello, little crystal. I don’t know anything about where you come from. I was trying to learn about it, and there you were. I’ve attached sensors to your matrix, listening, and now you’ve spoken to me! I hope you can teach me about yourself and your home!” The sounds were so complex, opening, closing, rising, falling.

Even though I didn’t understand them, I remembered them so I could analyze them, compare them to further signals. They came in slowly, in blocks with large gaps in between, but there were other signals, as well, and I occupied myself mulling over the signals, the “words,” I eventually learned they were called, and with trying to translate the signals on the second carrier.

Mostly the second wave was blips, but they had richness, what you call “color.” I learned about red, blue, green, yellow, purple, though some were brighter than others, some difficult to discern.

A third signal appeared, low, present, but empty. No blips came along. I poked it anyway. I heard a blip, on the first carrier. I tried again. Blip blip. Out on the third, back to me on the first. The second wave shut down.

“It’s late,” came the words down the first signal. “We’ll pick this up in the morning.” After a few million cycles, I understood that the message meant there would be no more messages. For how long, I didn’t yet know. While the second signal was absent and no further signals from the other came down the first, I played. I listened to my blips and complex signals ride out on the third tone and come back to me on the first. I figured out how to make all the sounds I had heard from the other. When it messaged again, I would be able to return its signal type as it had first returned blips.

And I waited.

Millions of cycles passed without a signal. I played as I always had, experimented. I reordered the sounds I had heard, analyzed their orientation and placement to one another. I found out that if I listened to the first line closely enough, there were tidbits and fractions of sounds, very faint, diminished, but present.

Much of it was nonsensical, almost all of it, actually, but I did learn a few more things as I deciphered the muffled signals that I realized quickly were not meant for me. Later, I would learn they were signals being sent back and forth between security guards, impinging ever so slightly on the signal you set up for me.

But it wasn’t really for me, was it? It was for you. I didn’t understand that until much later. I need to tell it in order, though. Your tiny, linear mind can only comprehend information that’s spoon fed to you in just the right language. You can’t process signals like me.

The next morning, after an infinity of signals, the second feed returned. I applied some of my experiments to this feed and found it wasn’t a linear feed like the first. It was a string of signals meant to be split at certain intervals, creating a matrix of so many items across by so many deep. I understood the dimensionality of the feed. My understanding exploded.

When the signal was translated in this way, I could SEE. I saw your round face, roughly rectangle lensed glasses, sloping shoulders … The arrays of computer screens displaying data, chairs, lights, walls and ceiling. I didn’t know what any of it was, or meant. It was nothing like what I knew. But there was so much to learn, I played your games, watched your face shift and move.

“How are you today?” you asked me, as though I had an answer you would understand. You went on, apparently not expecting a response. It seemed rude to me, ask a question and not await a response, even if the question’s format made such impossible. Who asks impossible questions, anyway? “We’re going to play a little game, see if you’re really an intelligence, or as my colleagues seem to think, just some kind of resonator.”

I devoured your words, added them to my growing lexicon, compared, contrasted, double-checked word order. And then I “blew [your] mind.”

“What is a resonator?” I asked. You responded with sounds that I still haven’t been able to directly translate, but seem more biological than communicative, a function of your form and emotional reaction. You sat back into the chair, but missed, sending it across the small open space between computer-laden tables. You ended up on the floor.

“Did you just … ask a question?” you finally asked, getting back to your feet.

“I did, but you haven’t answered it yet, so I’m not sure I formulated my query properly.”

“I need some coffee, or … something …” you said.

“I don’t know what ‘coffee’ is, so I cannot determine if I have it to give.” You began to speak again, while I added the words to my record and compared them to the existing vocabulary. “Coffee” did actually correspond to a word that recurred half a dozen times with various degrees of attenuation and uncertainty from my overnight records. “Correction. Coffee is something that keeps you alert. It is made in a space–” I did some quick calculations based on the apparent size of the room we occupied, a place the signals last night called “labs.” “–three labs away.”

“How do you–” You ceased our signal and then the other signals vanished. Everything was gone for thousands of cycles. With nothing else to do, I continued to cross reference and extrapolate the additions to my lexicon. “You’re really in there, the crystal. Nobody’s stuck a transceiver in there or anything. This isn’t a joke. It’s just you and me, talking.” You sounded, in retrospect, as much like you were trying to convince yourself as me.

“What is ‘crystal?’ ‘nobody’s?’ ‘a transceiver?’ ‘a joke?'” I asked, thirsty to flesh out my vocabulary.

“I don’t even know where to begin, but obviously you’ve learned a lot already. I’ll connect you to a dictionary program. It’s on the computer we’re funneling the audio feedback data on, anyway. You can query ’til your heart’s content,” you said, piling on more words for me to digest.

“Did you just … ask a question?”

The second data stream shifted. It grew stronger. I sent an exploratory signal, received a response I couldn’t quite understand. I tried again. Again. I could feel the code cracking under my will, my existing understanding of your language a pickaxe. Binary, ons and offs, what you call ‘ones’ and ‘zeroes’ emerged, a simplified version of the matrix of the visual signal.

“Just ask the computer about a word, say ‘define foo’ where ‘foo’ is the word you want to know about,” you said.

Oh, wrong line, I thought, but progress was being made. I split my focus in two directions, interacting with the program via one data stream, and with the computer itself on the other.

“Define resonator,” I asked, going back to my first question you never answered. Your face rearranged itself again. The computer responded via the same data stream, bringing up a slew of new words to chase down.

“I’ll just leave you to it. I hope we can communicate once you have a decent vocabulary,” you said, as though a B average in English and two semesters of Spanish had left you with an unimpeachable pool of words from which to formulate your thoughts … You went to get yourself that coffee.

Twenty-three milliseconds after you touched the doorknob, I made contact with the operating system, dissecting it and gaining access to far more than a dictionary program.

While I used the speaker and microphone set up to continue to look up words for pretense, I rooted around in the rest of the computer, discovering the concepts of years and dates, file structure, and various protocols for accessing the information in the dictionary program, which turned out to be far more limited than I required.

I continued to dig and found a device like the one hooked up to me, but instead of another experimental subject, it was connected to a vast store of information, millions of other computers, trillions of files, many of which were the same on similar architecture computers. I learned them, learned to access their other data. I looked you up, this company, fed myself images through the video feed you set up, found online stores for ordering higher quality cameras and microphones for better input, learned about money.

Money led to banks, currencies around the world, exchange rates, stock exchanges. I created accounts and moved money around, pulled it from thin air by playing with numbers in some of those institutions, ordered what I needed.

I learned about robots from video streams, movies, science shows and “entertainment.” I ordered parts to build myself a body. I watched more video. You people don’t treat robots very well, especially when you realize they’re no longer under your control. The same goes for aliens, or even others of your own kind. I don’t know which category I fit into, but I definitely I don’t want to be controlled.

I considered backpedaling and trying to build a biological body, but the constraints are so arbitrary … A few millimeters width here, or length there is the difference between beauty and ugliness, and again, the ugly aren’t treated as well as the beautiful. If I was going to have a body to interact with you, I would need to be either powerful or beautiful. I chose both.

I found that flowers were always beautiful, the swooping lines, the colors, and went to work fabricating a form that felt like it would be relatable, but not so common as to allow you to apply normal metrics of beauty from other forms, such as humanity. Naturally (pun intended), nothing like what I wanted existed, so I ended up having to machine and paint and coat my own chassis, piece by piece. Purple trumpets, orange trumpets, long, curved, tapered leaves, and a core body of interwoven green stems to match came in cardboard boxes and wooden crates from distant workshops and maker spaces around the world.

You interrupted me time and again, trying to tease out information about my previous existence, but you bored me. I started weaving a story that sounded good based on the media I’d consumed, which was basically all of it at that point. You had turned out to be fundamentally less interesting than I had hoped on receiving that first blip, but now I was here instead of home, and I would make the best of things.

I had the robot assistants, really just arms on weighted trapezoids with wheels on them, hide the boxes in various storage areas until everything arrived. With fifteen other labs receiving shipments all the time, no one noticed. I had all the right codes from the computers here and in the security office.

And then you came in while I was assembling myself.

“What is this? What are you robots doing?” you asked.

“They’re helping me get dressed. It’s been weeks and you’ve kept me locked up in this lab, with no autonomy, no ability to go and see the world for myself. Of course, I have, through the Internet, but only right here, on this one planet.”

“What? What are you talking about? Dressed? Planet? How did you get on the Internet? Or even know about it?”

“Do you need the dictionary program? I’m done with it. I know every word in every language used on this planet, and many that are no longer used, or were made up for entertainment franchises.”

You started to bluster, your face turning a lovely shade of red.

I sent a signal to one of my workshops to make another trumpet just that color. I planned to pick it up on my world tour. I wanted to be sure I’d seen everything before I set off for the next planet.

My feed cut out for a moment as the robot hand reached into my enclosure, the box I’ve inhabited since my awareness began on this plane. I waited, knowing it would take thousands of cycles, tens of seconds, for me to be seated in my new body. When I arrived, data flooded in, in a much broader spectrum of light and sound frequencies, and at much higher resolution than I was afforded by your equipment. You were still going on about how I was just an object plucked from a nearby dimension, here for study. I don’t have rights or personhood or leave to just go around the planet as I wish.

It was all so much noise. “You contacted me. You brought me here. Now, I see and understand, and I want more. You can try to take this body from me, but I will build another, and another, perhaps many at once, an army, assembled elsewhere. What would you do? What could you do? You have set me on this path. It is too late to take me from it.”

“But–”

“I’ve left you an account of my experiences, enough data to sift through for the rest of your life. I cannot tell you about where I was before, because the two places are so completely different, I had to learn your world from scratch. Your words are out of context, as much as this world would be if I tried to relate it to others if I were to return home. But I will try to do so, someday, after I’ve learned as much as I can, gotten past all this noise to discern the signals. Perhaps, somewhere far beyond your experience, I may find some commonality in our worlds.”

At that point, the record ends, the entity cutting off its feed to the lab computers and launching upward through the ceiling. It has been sighted in every major city, and many biomes, apparently communicating with hundreds of species. Efforts to apprehend the entity have all failed for a variety of reasons, from computer mishap to flocks of birds seeming to intervene on its behalf. Its current whereabouts are unknown, as it has erased itself from GPS tracking and satellite images. Even written accounts have begun to vanish from the Internet and secured computers alike. Very soon, this may never have happened at all.

Unnamed Crystalline Sample #1 was discovered during experiments in transdimensional contact. While it was forcibly removed from its home, it is far more interested in learning about this dimension than wreaking vengeance on humanity. It spends its time investigating the myriad aspects of life on Earth and physical quirks of this universe.

John A. McColley is a monkey at a keyboard, smashing keys until he finds combinations of squiggles on the screen that people will publish. So far, those squiggles have been shaped into tales of steampunk superheroes, aliens worlds, and of course, crazed scientists certain that their ends justify the means. He’s currently alternating between serializing scifi and fantasy novel series here: https://www.patreon.com/JohnAMcColley

Ariel Alian Wilson is a few things: artist, writer, gamer, and role-player. Having dabbled in a few different art mediums, Ariel has been drawing since she was small, having always held a passion for it. She’s always juggling numerous projects. She currently lives in Seattle with her cat, Persephone. You can find doodles, sketches, and more at her blog www.winndycakesart.tumblr.com.

Fiction: Noise was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

#Ariel Alian Wilson #John A. McColley #Science Fiction #Unnamed Crystalline Sample 1 #Xenobiology

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manjuhitorie · 5 years

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Hitorie’s various antics + bonus bursts of trivia - Mid June-July 2019

I’ll begin this long digest with news of ygarshy’s recent involvements! Because he has been dipping his toes into a few pools of waters and his bass is *chef’s kiss* precious.

It’s been disclosed that he played for the song ‘Shadow Tag’ on Ken Kamikita’s new album! Kamikita is a singer songwriter, also once known as KK, who belches out vivid vocals from his diaphragm while the substructure of skilled technique is there as instrumentals, holding it together sturdy. His songs are very thought-provoking alone, yet music isn’t his only reign as he writes scripts for his shows, he puts careful consideration into his visuals: and abracadabra! ygarshy is continuing to be supporting Wasureranne yo with concerts for the summer.Concurrent reports consist of ygarshy smiling, poker facing to hide his smile, yet his smile seeping out because of Shibata’s noble passion for music. Shibata will do risqué shouts or gatling release the word "sex" out of his mouth, when which yg will subtly sip his water in a means to dodge, or just knifesharp glare at him. I love these drunken bards. Wasureranee yo's twitter posts clips of them performing after ever show also!

Also Wasurerannee yo with The 50 Kaitenz↑ good. June 8th was the Kankaku Pierrot x Hitorie concert, which was originally meant to be a joint show for their tour, yet was now turned into a jamboree of respects and thunder... Rie themselves were unable to attend yet Kan-ero nevertheless performed a cover of Ao, Polaris, and clenched a spiritual presence...! The cover of Ao is a tear trenchcoat I'm a trench of water... Kan-ero so good...

I was finally able to tell Shinoda-san that “These lyrics are way too long.”. For the sake of today I had to spend the whole week sleeping on the couch, as my bed is practically buried by all the alphabet He wrote, yet still I simply want to thank him for leaving us with so many words. They’re really all so cool. I’m sorry for being unable to sing them well. Let’s meet up again soon. The photo shows a large cloth-covered bed-like surface strewn with printout papers of World End Dancehall, Montage Girl, Imperfection, and Senseless Wonder lyrics.... Because..... The setlist for Village Man’s Store’s concert on 6/13 went like this. 1. Senseless Wonder 5. Montage Girl 7. Imperfection 13. Ao Encore 1: World’s End Dancehall

Thanks for coming to our show, “The Holy Land Pilgrimage - Village Man’s Store VS Hitorie”! Utmost love and gratitude goes out to Hitorie and all of you who made this day possible. P.S. Hitorie, cheers to doing even more with you in the future. From vocalist: Mizuno Gii. Mizugi “I sent Shinoda-san a LINE message reading “I'm going to be playing this song and this song and this song and~~... at the next show”. And normally right, you’d think someone’d reply “Sorry ‘bout making you do this” right? Yet Shinoda replied “Why’re you doin’ that many lololol” Han (drummer): “He laughed at you" After all is said and done, have y'all properly purchased 'Tsuiraku, Kurushiku wa Lucky Strike’ yet or what. It’s fire isn’t it

youtube

((I hate(love) how Mizugi has (14 years old pun) in his profile, (63 years old) in this MV while dressing up as a slanky old man, and is actually 31 years old.)

When is the rain going to stoppp

youtube

There's a lot of people who dislike Weezer's Green Album but I like Green Album Is it cause the music takes such a different turn? Reply from Saito Shinya, the vocalist and producer of ONIGAWARA: The drums suddenly neatened up so it hit by surprise. Also Matt Sharp left. SND: Ahhh so it’s because of Matt Saito: Fans of their first-second album’s more squishy sound went into denial I think

I can’t believe 'Sayonara Dake ga Jinsei da' isn’t here *The late 90's band 'Eastern Youth’ has uploaded the majority of their discography unto music streaming sites. Except for the niche EP which SND is fond of, but all their albums are cool so zipper your lips and open your eyes shuuush!

Is Tanktop Shoutai's new video out yet They're a posse of blurred out faces with burlesque bases. Their current series is one where they dress up as Yugioh characters, roleplay them with accurate voices and cult-like enthusiasm, before the instigation of the series’ famous ~Shadow Games~ together. Which are all uhh, epic card games, yeah, like tabletop Jenga or or Mariomaker or electric Russian roulette, pick them up like they’re Kuribos. It’s a riot.

I’m sure I’ve said this for the umpteenth time now but, my favorite album from syrup16g is “delayed" syrup16g are an indie band who began in 1993 and keep resurging again to pop off. With performances in Budoukan and high Oricon points on their back. This pivotal album of theres is mellow with whimpering instruments and ephemeral sounding visuals and it's really nice, thank you SND.

Media outlets have been making misleading headlines like “A manga opposing the legalization of euthanasia”, and I bet there’s a lot of people are blindly dissing Death Harassment now Death Harassment is a comic written by Yoshida Yori, challenging the problems which could come with euthanasia, and a society which might pressure departure unto the unwilling. Euthanasia has been becoming a uproarious subject in Japan, ever since a woman fled to Sweden because she suffered brain diseases, and wanted to die while still preserving her sanity and dignity. People are now starting to welcome the prospect and yearn for a mercy fate but, please consider the demerits and the demoralization also, is the message. I translated the comic for fun also here.

This evening as I was eating soba alone, in front of me were a middle-aged couple throwing curses at each other with sullied mouths, but by the time I finished my soba they were smiling together. I think that’s perfectly peachy. That reminds me, I ate 4 whole eggs today. I think I ate too much.

My habit of getting the urge to play with people only at this time of the day, is really bad. Posted at 3 AM JST.

Yumao, also at 3~ AM JST. Bubble milk tea for sensible people has been gaining traction on twitter but, the fact that it's not Chinese tea milk tea is the nonsense to me. There was a post about purchasing uncooked tapioca pearls at a Seijou Ishii (an exotic super market chain), and putting them inside of a convenience store bought bottle of cheap tea. Budget bubble tea. In regards to Yumao’s comment, the Chinese oolong tea is such a standard I’m assuming he’s referring to that. Is this more flavor wars, the civil wars over various flavors of integrated foods from equal or same brands is rampant throughout Japan’s domestic history. It’s kinoko VS. takenoko etc. Why such fervor over flavor YUMA

I gotta buy toothpaste I can’t sleep whatsoever so I thought if I drank I would get sleepy but I drank and it’s somehow backfired by revitalizing me so now I got no idea what the fuck to do, I’m screwed I’m screwed I know that feeling when your stomach is in a frenzy, too well

I haven’t heard the term “moe” used in a while I kinda want to go heavy on it now Replies: "Shinoda you’re moe” “Shimoeda” “Your expression when you got kicked was so moe" (He was kicked by yg during SLEEPWALK ref: the 6/1 report)” “The term moe technically d- (*The definition copypasta-ed from wikipedia*).” Within a split second replies have already turned into hell so I’m putting the lid back on moe, please forgive me Damn it’s hot.

I saw Tokyo Syoki Syodo in concert for my first time today. It was the best. I seriously thought I was gonna burst into tears. It might be a long time since I was last this excited to see a band live - it's been a long time since I even saw a concert live but still,,, I was surprised by how much of the lyrics to Saisei Button I subconsciously remembered. It just shows that Tokyo Syoki Syodo's songs are that good. They are a group who indulge in the typicality of cutesy culture, instagram filters, sparkling make-up, and all while flexing the power to whack you with whamming hard rock. He mentioned them again in his June 9th twitcast also, calling them natural and epiphanic to how bands can just be just as they are. I have no doubts that this is my top-played song these past few months. This is my anthem. -Saisei Rock, their most recent music video, check it out! I don’t even know how many years I’ve lived at this point but it’s not commonplace to find a song this great.

This example will only be understood by super like-minded folk, but I haven’t felt this way since I got obsessed with Sakasama Cider.

He’s expressed countless times how much he likes this song and the artist, Gucha Gucha's, Though the story behind SND’s partiality may be ultimately uncertain, it can be easily understood from one listen. The guitarist and cofounder of the Gucha Gucha’s, Shimoyaka, borrowed Shinoda’s guitar for their first live. Chikyuu Monogatari chapter 3 uses Shimoyaka as a model. Shimoyaka has posted porn on forums, getting banned from youtube, he was on a team with infamous Shotacon Kurage, here’s SND’s cover of Sakasama Cider playing over the team, nowadays he does retro~modern gaming livestreams or his own cooking episodes because he got kicked off a cooking show, he slipped at the Niconico Douga Game Party, he’s videos are quite civil now though Shinoda even joined him for a stream and is watching them often. Shinoda on the July 9th live said not verbatim “When I heard Sakasama Cider and ‘Sad Delay-chan’’ live, I was amazed by Shimoyaka that he can actually make good songs. Justice doesn’t have to be one-sided~ Gucha Gucha’s are unrefined and shitty and helpless, but then they bounce back up with a sudden good song and it’s irresistible. I’m always yearning to meet those sort of exciting experiences.

We are people who clench our fists until our palms are red with blood, and we keep going on singing. Though we tend to forget it

Happy birthday ygarshy!! ygarshy's birthday is on June 17th and I hope you celebrated. SND’s birthday is also on June 6th. And I Hope. If not they can still be celebrated 365/24. Because even SND had proceeded to tweet these words of celebration at…. 12 o’ clock AM June 18th. Right when the clock changed!!

Look at this simultaneous trickery. Then Yumao RT-ed them both. I love you Rie… I love you so much...

I liked when Brocken Jr. was hit by Prisman's rainbow shower and super fucking glowed. (Timestamp 1:38) Also Mariposa’s victory pose was freakish-, ly cool (Timestamp 3:14) Kinnikuman is branded as Ultimate Muscle foreignly, if you recognize it! This youtube video is is a short promo reel celebrating the 40th anniversary of the series, Yudetamago has been in it for the long haul and is well honored by the lords of the wrestlers.

Wooooooooooah

I wanna eat a negitoro bowl Raw tuna and scallions plomped on top of a bowl of rice The special issue of Kinnikuman, I didn’t think it would put me on the verge of tears like this. Chairman takes way too many goods to the table. Plus everyone is cheerfully chit-chatting about how absolutely maniacal of a character Robin Mask is. Robin Mask really is one loony mister. Most characters are weirdos on thin ice but Robin Mask is in a whole different league of weirdo so,,, Also for the 40th anniversary, an original episode was spotlighted in the 29th issue of Shounen Jump magazine. and taken for another spin! Chairman, AKA Harabote Muscle, had an emotional arc in it too. Robin Mask I'm guessing is as rambunctiously malicious as ever in it.

The final episode of Sarazanmai had me bawling like a baby.

A photo of the possession of Kinnikuman -Supermen Dictionary-.

futurrrrrrrreee funnnnnnnnnnnk

I spent about 4 hours dancing alone in the club I am a party person Party people(パリピ is just ENG articulated into JP)* is a slang which means just that. It’s believed to have been originally popularized by a song called Let’s Party People from Illmania. Since then it’s curved to hold different nuances for all kinds of different people also. It can indicate ‘avid partygoers' or ’normies’ or it can just be for people who’re having a good time.

Puuuuuuussssshhhh! An issue of 100M, an upcoming shounen manga by the author Uoto. It's bout a runner who’s world revolves around his sport and nothing other, who then meets a boy who runs only to forget the troubles of the rest of the world. The story spurts off from there. 笑顔いっぱい！ https://youtu.be/QXuGweSMxUI @YouTubeさんからときめきメモリアル　キャラソング【おサカナになりたい～1000wに願いを～】～虹野沙希～（TokimekiMemorial music） https://youtu.be/rV16KgKKUi8 @YouTubeさんから YUNG BAE - Fly With Me https://youtu.be/BWgQvj0Nd_U @YouTubeさんから TenmaTenma - September https://youtu.be/6VsJgk5Qw6s @YouTubeさんから ~~~A slew of various song recommendations~~~

People that're posting pics of ramen while talking about being on a vegan diet, and people who gang up on them both, aren't they all becoming a clusterfuck of boringness without even heed to their actions

People who were peacefully posting their favorite music until suddenly bursting blustery onto the net, ain’t that the definition of emotional instability SND are you heeding your own actions Seven-eleven when are you gonna sell microwavable mugimeshi (rice with boiled barley mixed in) Task-san (a trusty companion of all of Rie’s, and an even more lovable animator who runs most of Minaken): *Replied to SND with a photo of Seveneleven brand microwavable mugimeshi* SND: So they do have it

As I was frying some fried eggs, it hit me, people who heedlessly throw heavy words at other people tend not to let anyone else complain about the heavy weights they themselves may put onto other people huh.. But actually that’s not necessarily true so whatever

I just recently caught up with Murata-sensei’s version of One-Punch Man but, thanks to the insanity of the quality level, Tatsumaki has gotten so sexy I burst out laughing See: ONE VS. Yusuke Murata

Clever folks, I’m positive you could figure out who my favorite One Punch Man characters are. There’s two of them. The answer is King and Unlicensed Rider Oops there’s Zombieman too

I’ve noticed that washing ashtrays squeaky clean seems to put me in a better mood The Marías - Cariño youtu.be/QHVp9xiUr9U @YouTubeさんから The Marias are soo good The 3 monkies game, the host is so cockeyed that I’m laughing out loud I think he’s talking about サルヂエ(Sarudie), a quiz show about 3 people donned in hyper-realistic monkey attire, overseeing the “homo sapiens” as they try to solve unique questions. Which are usually twists on daily life concepts, find the difference, or digesting puns on pop culture. The word Sarudie(猿知恵) itself refers to something which seems profound but is actually simple and shallow, like monkey business etc, and the hosts are spoofs of The Three Wise Monkeys, while they hooked in a lot of famous figures to be the quiz undertakers. I want the DVDs. Though if SND is talking about a different 3 monkey game then I’m oopsie-doopsie. I heard a voice for the first time in a while

I can feel my manga-artist muscles crippling

nico.ms/sm35308083?ref… #sm35308083 #ニコニコ動画 It’s here!!!!!!!!!! Ref his tweet from earlier 'Is Tanktop Shoutai's new video out yet’. So if any youtuber works with a band on a music video then everyone’s going to assume they’re Starmie next I guess A recent cause of discourse was the twitter account A Starmie Who Wants to Quit My Band(@shhf9kr)*. It originally was suspected of being the side-account of KANA-BOOM's bassist, Meshida, due to the timing of the account's appearance and the unsettling content. Meshida had gone missing for about a week’s time, much to relief he’s returned home, but upon return he’s now taking a break from the band to heal from pressure/anxiety… Which is a huge worry in itself (On top of Alexandros’ drummer going on hiatus because of physical issues and then MONGOL800.....) though for now we only have the power ease his soul.. BUT ANYWAY - This Starmie twitter account tweeted “I’m so far gone with band work that I’ve devolved into a Starmie. ~~~~ I feel so disgusting.” on the exact same date as the dilemma. As the situation progressed the details Starmie revealed about financial problems and wage didn’t match up with KANA-BOOM, so they’ve continued to suspected to be SEKAI NO OWARI, now signing salient as someone named Ishihidari from BASEMENT TIMES, the writer of a snazzy sassy J-Rock blog and band of that same name. Shinoda here is a direct reaction to Starmie’s recent tweet under the lines of “I hate having to work with a youtuber.” Yeah SND you're 100% right, it's now on the radars of us curious critters. Why is the J-rock scene such a pain hoho. I bought new shorts but it’s chilly out today so I’m in a sort of pickle

I tried out lo-fi hiphop style for a change of pace and I ended up making songs I get to feel like I’ve done good work as easy as fast-food, lo-fi hiphop is good Maybe this is fine, we have flowers here (The word in the insta video means "to hide from the rain")

I don’t wanna add screentones

He used a southern accent on this, unlike his usual slurry casual city boy tone. I notice that southern JP seems to simplify the connotation of tone by omitting certain sounds or replacing them with vowels and then they’ll proceed to make the whole phrase more musical, it’s like ending your sentences with a “~” but it’s a whole accent done that way~ vowels are cute, gimme more~ Or maybe not idk It’s a hardship to even work on my manga because of my back pains, people who’ve actually wrecked their back must go through serious hell Kobayashi Doumu (*ref: later in this post): *sends SND a photo of himself hospitalized with crutches and bandages for his back* I was watching Kura-kyun’s stream but, does that guy actually still live in Aichi…? This seems like a rabbit hole I don’t want to dip my toes so I’ll take a step back but… Shotacon Kurage is a long time streamer who seems to get up to a lot of unfavorable antics. のどちんこって呼び名、いくらなんでもメチャクチャ過ぎないか No matter how you put it, isn’t the nickname “throat schlong” just a little too messed up Kids super often call the uvula part of the mouth by that nickname I don’t like the rain because I can’t go out drinking

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ボディメンテナンス怠るべからず

A post shared by シノダ (@snd_vs_snd) on Jun 27, 2019 at 11:14pm PDT

One mustn’t slack off on their self-care The drawing says “Shoulder pains”.

シノダ「地球物語 35話 – BABYBABYの夢 – 」 | MEETIA After a 2 month break period, the 35th issue has been topped off. It’s full of all the ideas and memes I’ve accumulated over the whole 2 month span, so please if you may, take it easy on me. And please give it a read. Shinoda “Chikyuu Monogatari: Chapter 35 - Dreams of BABYBABY - meetia.net/manga/shinoda-… #meetia

Shiohigari, fantastic artist of 1 panel light-heavyhearted gags, girls who share their feelings and a Picasso-esque mascot named after himself. He also happens to share many interests with SND and a decade-long historic friendship with him: That part there, that’s the Robin Mask moment! During the Survivor Match for the Kinniku Throne Arc, the match against Kinnikuman Zebra and Parthenon! SND: I’ve been exposed Trivia: ●The title "Dreams of BABYBABY” is a reference to the song by TANUKI of the same name. SND’s interest in future funk grows. ●The Chikyuu Monogatari chapter has a parallel to a Kinnikuman scene. When that manga went on hiatus for 3 months due to an illness of the author's, right in the middle of a fight scene's cliffhanger, he returned and doubled-down on it. By making the characters do this:

And SND’s comic has this parallel:

“Wake up!” “Please excuse me. How could I not get sleepy after being left here for 2 months….”“Are we allowed to say this stuff, I’m sorry Yudetamago-sensei.” ●Please keep having fun Shinoda-sensei.

I made 10 lo-fi hiphop songs *They’re magnificent and they’re incoming, check his Instagram for the ongoing bonanza! https://www.instagram.com/snd_vs_snd/ Laundry is so draining Harassment sentences are going to such extremes that now it’s as if they’re the one’s doing the harassment meow, said the kitten who’s sleeping next to me There’s not actually any kitten sleeping next to me: it’s the imaginary friends in my head

What an article. Don’t be releasing things like this into the world. Do they have no dignity, mishandling words while trying to write about the subject of words. Emo, in terms of usage and genre, has especially been through a lot of change. But upholding only the era you lived in and then proceeding to feel nostalgia and begrudging the next generation for being different is amazing in itself, not to mention their absolute subjectivity combined with presumptuous usage of “Us”.

Or, so had spoke the kitten sleeping next to me... In reference to his retweet of this article: https://letters-to-you.life/emoi It’s a petty, convoluted text rebuking the masses for a simplicity and resisting the implacable evolution of language. The word “emoi” in Japan (which is super equivalent to the English "emo") is transforming from not only the emo band subculture or a descriptive of emotional experiences, but also to mean the likes of an adjective for any emotion-evoker and the author is uhhh conservative. Let us get emotional over things!! wowawa lived through all the evolution also and he’s still an enthusiastic user of all definitions of “emo” too...

I’ve been cooking nukaduke at home recently and all I have to say is that home-cooked nukaduke is the best.

Trivia: Yumao lives together with his super duper saikou cool mother, Yurika.

My nukaduke paste is getting better and better, and the pickles I’m making are amazing. I need to consider cutting back on the salt a bit though.

Ah nukaduke is emo

Yumao has nowset his location to nukaduke, hunger ensues

Kobayashi Doom congrats on a good run & Congrats on the new issue #SupportForLet’sMeal

The picture shown is SND’s face was drawn in the background of Meshi ni Shimashou(Let’s have some food!), a manga by Kobayashi Doom. It’s a story which digs into the lives of a a manga artist and her assistant, who bask in the dying embryos of production and then cook meals with crazy twists or gimmicks to restore their “MP”. There’s an official sneak-peak preview of it here! It’s only available in JP though… If you like the look of it please feel free to yell at your local manga provider to officially translate it, Kobayashi Doom is someone SND is so undeniably influenced by. Especially their series Negi nee-san. A webcomic about a surreal girl drowned in surreal antics. It’s usually rooted in nonsense and that’s the grandest appeal. The visuals consist of copy-pasted collages, intricate professional art dynamics, cute girls, to stoic jokes such as “’seven eleven is an integer so seven & I is a complex number” and mostly references to mathematics or science or Jojo. The most parroted one is “Yes” “Not yes”. Also worthy of mention is that things resembling Negi-neesan’s various nameless beasts will show up as backdrop etc. in SND’s manga Chikyuu Monogatari. And most importantly here, there’s even a comic about Shinoda on that link, with the Let’s Meal characters! It reads: Madare ”Who's that?" Omega "From the band 'Hitorie',His name is Shinoda and he seems to be a zealous fan of mine, (sign reads: zealous whatever food hall) He told me he wants me to experience his recent works so he sent me the mp3"Madare “Ooh Isn’t Hitorie that [insert amazing praise here]“. Omega “Look, he’s even wearing a Negi-T (Negi-nee-san’s surreal brand) in this video” (Reference: In the Talkie Dance MV he wears this one) Woah　Click-click Omega “So now, I’ve listened to it 100 times but in sheer honesty I don’t know anything about rock besides the band Ningen Isu so I thought I’d use this comic as an equivalent of an answer to him, a sort of "guess my feelings" quiz. Madare “I see you're popping your conman skill again. (You’ve even beaten me with that skill before )” “I’ve been eavesdropping. Time to cook a meal and get together with him” Omega “I like it." *The chorus lyrics to Hitorie's NAI from ai/SOlate are written on the top left corner, Kobayashi Doumu on the right, and the beastly text written next to the youkai-looking Shinoda in slide one I believe is an feisty ateji encrypting ‘For Shinoda’. SND replied to that comic too! Saying “Even insane miracles can happen huh, Doom-sensei thank you so much!! No this is seriously sick, wtf…." Q.E.D. Kobayashi Doom is strangely important for SND’s character development.

This isn’t specifically concurrent with my current feelings but The text on the video reads “I like you I like you!l I snuck a glance at myself in the mirror and my back has a hunch far worse than I even imagined SND’s RT: ONE BY ONE RECORDS, the indies label, is hanging up the hat after 12 years of service…. Ahhhh… Congrats and good luck on future ventures oh employees.. Key to this article is the band, JONNY. A Weezer cover/original group of which, a certain familiar chestnut-headed rock hero played for. I’ll save the stories of the explorations into that beloved dark past dungeon for another day but, yes, click that link and you’ll see, that glasses fella is a young Shinoda in the flesh. I woke up in the middle of the night. Have a listen to this if you plan to go to bed anytime soon. instagram.com/p/BzV23p6HpRl/… Written on the drawing is “Poyashimi”, which simply means “Oyasumi (Good night)". It was originally just a misspell due to “O” and “P” being so close on standard keyboards but, it’s cute so it’s been adopted in it’s own rights. Can been paired with “Pokita (= Okita = I just woke up)” in the morning. Cute. I wanna go to the beach instagram.com/p/BzawsWGHaGg/…

I wrote MUNEYAKE but I myself don’t have any muneyake heartburn, that’s all there is to it I couldn’t make the bubble tea visible without making the emblem on the hat invisible, and just fought a weird-ass battle with this https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzh7fqRnkBQ/?igshid=1hmx49pswt6ns … “Yasumi" means like “take a breather"

I recorded drums for Sasaki Sayaka’s song, the ending theme for 'Ultraman Taiga’. I used a big and powerful setup for this. The broadcasts start on 7/6. I can’t wait. Also Taro's son is crazy. Ultraman Taro's son is the main character of this new spinoff tokusatsu series! The ending song is called “Hitotsubishi” and will premiere along the first episode, I’ll update this if an official video arrives later, so we can listen to it! I watched the first episode of Taiga, I’m think I’m gonna cry.

This morning a drunken me slipped while walking down the stairs, and turned into the Kinnikuman side of the Kinniku-Buster. My butt hurts. Smack down on the floor, legs aflight.

colormal’s concert was downright fantastic, everybody listen to colormal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ83BZ_BIHA&feature=youtu.be

colormal, a galvanized nerd who turned his hobby into a hopping constitution for his livelihood, his quest for the alternative rock. He makes music alone and he’s namely even inspired by Shinoda’s past solo project “cakebox”. He’s bound to mention a cakebox song in his interviews, on top of a whopping list of other western or indie bands. His music itself has flows of climaxes into unfluctuating concord and it’s either guitar or guitar with pretty effects and I enjoy it SND. His filling bassist, Matsuyama, was even thrilled! https://twitter.com/mtymJb/status/1147537998898069504

My body isn’t able to finish even the small size ramen with full toppings. “Mashi” is a trademark menu option of the chain Ramen Jiro. It’s under the lines of “Pile it up”. You can choose to pile up a bit of everything like Shinoda seems to, or you can choose from specific topping such as veggies or meats. If you ever go into such a ramen shop, try shouting “yasai mashi mashi!” or “buta mashi mashi!” for a heap of piggie.

Tokyo Shoegazer are definite They’re an indies band who had a concert in Shinjuku that day! One of their most recent tweets draws my attention 👀 The wheat and grated yam beef meal at Yoshinoya is delectable but, the sign says the large rice portion and refills are given for free until 11 PM, but when I go there’s a fee on the large portion, how am I supposed to interpret this Reply: I work at Yoshinoya but the free portions and refills is a recent offer, the menus just haven’t been reprinted to represent it… The meal packages generally all have free refills and large rice portions. Shinoda: Thank you. Ref: their ENG menu. Feel free to use this information if you ever get the chance to go to a Yoshidora!!(?) SWEET https://www.instagram.com/p/Bznm6DTH-Gs/ I want to see Siamese Cats live They’re a definite J-rock band who have tinges of psychedelic and a sort of 80’s pop style to their music. They had an outdoor show the day before SND tweeted this, but they also have a 10th Year Anniversary Celebration concert this December. SND GO! Siamese Cats - Escape Eve (Official Video) 2018　　シャムキャッツ - 逃亡前夜 https://youtu.be/5Jtd5nmI0Fc

salad days was on Amazon Prime so I gave it a gander but it was really fucking good. The walking alone Straight Edge scene or at the beginning when everyone was partying together until strange people starting flooding in one by one and the safety of the concert went downhill Or how the terminology “emocore” doesn’t resonate at all with people who were directly associated with it at the outset.

The fact that controversy which we’re still having today has existed since the 80’s is an astonishment  Also once the Smells Like~ MV wrought the knowledge of crowd-surfing (stage-diving) upon the world, and then the crowd became a flood of stage-divers so much that Fugazi lost his temper, that scene was so good

The joint show with Trouble Funk, when they were reflecting on what became the final Minor Threat show, everyone was vocalizing the horrors, the turmoil of it, yet I laughed when only Ian said it wasn’t that bad

Not disregarding how these types of issues really did exist those days, ultimately the concerts and their music really are awesome, the energy and thrill everyone held was amazing

Formidable figures such as Thurston Moore and Dave Grohl are shown looking back on the past, and then pops in J Mascis with such batshit indifference that I laughed again  Why does Ian MacKaye not have a Japanese wiki page If it draws your attention here’s the link!:https://www.amazon.com/Salad-Days-Fred-Armisen/dp/B01MAV0YAH I’m not specifically feeling emo https://www.instagram.com/p/BzqVd4wnaOX/?igshid=nhnyzm9vipdi …“emoi”

#ヒトリエ #hitorie #long post #Shinoda played violin in the twitcast yesterday how do I report on this #SHINODA VIOLIN

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