#ITS ABOUT TIME I DREW HIM SOBS THIS IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVE MOVIES | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years

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Spark, Ignite, Detonate, Explode ~ Mammon x Reader

Trust is such a feeble thing to have in someone - It is build up and takes so long, and yet, it disappears faster than the blink of an eye.

It starts off with only something little, yet repeated, like the spark you get from hitting stones together to ignite the fire inside someone’s heart. And yet, few know that the heart is a fragile gunpowder bag, that one detonated, it shall explode and destroy everything in its proximity never to be restored to its former glory again.

Only ashes, ruin, waste and death...

---

“Yooo, how’s my fave human doin’?” Mammon’s usual lighthearted voice echoed through the halls as he rushed to your side, putting his arm around your shoulder, pulling Y/N closer into his side as they walked together to the next class. “Nothing out of the ordinary, Monnie. You, however, seem rather happy. Did something good happen to you recently?” Y/N lifted her head up to gaze at him with her usual, passive smile. “Yeah, actually, it did! I just got a great deal on an Akuzon item I sold! I got 500 thousand Grimm! Isn’t that awesome? I can go get new brand jacket and shades!” he laughed in glee, making her clap as a congratulation. “That’s awesome, Monnie! You gotta show me what you’ll be getting! I’m sure your next photoshoot is gonna be so great that your pics will get on the cover!” She grinned, which made him flustered, and yet, his grin was even wider. “Hahaha, of course! I am THE Great Mammon, after all! How ‘bout this - After my next photoshoot, when I get paid again, I’ll take ya out for dinner. How’s that sound, hmmm? Just us two, at Ristorante six, my treat.” he smirked, trying to look macho, but it only made her chuckle at his poor attempt. “No, that’s too expensive. How about going to the pub for a drink? We can go to The Fall, if you want! They have great music, and the drinks are good, and at a reasonable price!” Y/N winked at him, which made him blush harder. “You’re the perfect being, Y/N! Always thinkin’ of me!” he gave the girl a side hug, as they got in their shared desk in the classroom.

The girl, as she wrote her notes diligently, knowing very well that the white haired demon never bothered, and would always borrow hers, started idly pawing at the neck of her shirt, as was her habit, to play with her dangling necklace...

Only to realise there was nothing hanging around her neck.

A pang of panic shot through her veins as she hit her back on the chair seat, touching her neck, and inside her shirt, realising that it was gone. Frowning, she tried to remember if she even put it on in the morning, before getting dressed, but there was no memory of it. She was certain, however, that the previous day, she placed the necklace on her study desk, before going to take a bath...And since then, she has no more recollection of its presence.

Waiting nervously, bouncing her leg, tapping her fingers and biting her lip so hard that she drew blood without realising, making her friend concerned, yet not figuring out the cause for her concerns, as soon as the class was over, she sprung out of that place faster than the speed of light, rummaging through her whole room, yet finding absolutely nothing.

Taking a few deep breaths, to keep herself level-headed, she went to the brothers, who were having lunch, and took out her D.D.D., showing them a selfie she took, where the necklace was easily noticeable - Silver chain with an emerald stone.

“Have you guys seen it around? I’m afraid I might have lost it or misplaced it...” she asked, clutching the phone close to her chest in worry. “I haven’t seen it, sorry.” Satan said, thinking back on all the steps he took that day. “Are you sure it’s not in your room? It could have fallen behind the bed, desk, or some furniture, right?” Asmo asked, frowning a bit. “No luck...I searched every inch of the room, and nothing. I’m at my wits end...I tried using all spells I know, and still nothing. It’s almost like it’s not in RAD or the Dorms anymore...” her bottom lip quivered softly. “Hey, Levi, didn’t we see this necklace somewhere on the internet last night, when we searched Akuzon?” Belphie turned abruptly to his brother, who gasped, nodded, and ran to get his laptop. “Akuzon...? It couldn’t be...It’s was a very cheap necklace from the human realm...Well, it’s very old, and handmade, but still.” Y/N sighed, putting her phone back in her pocket. “Here, Y/N, drink a glass of hot chocolate, it will help you calm down a bit.” Beel raised, handing her a cup of hot chocolate. “Thank you, Beel, I appreciate it.” she smiled softly, looking down at her mug. “Ah, you were right, Belphie! Look, this is it, right?” Levi turned around the laptop for everyone to look. “Huh...? It even has the engraving on the back of it...How...Could this happen...? Yesterday it was in my room, I’m certain of that, so...?!” she freaked out, especially looking at the price at which was sold, and something clicked in her mind, making her gasp in realisation. “Ahhh, great, I’m late for lunch again. Beel, you better not have eaten everythin’!” Mammon’s cheerful voice seemed to make everyone go silent, and it was like a common thought in their mind. “Mammon...Can you tell me what exactly did you sell on Akuzon that you got so much money from it?” Y/N muttered, gritting her teeth, trying to keep herself grounded. “Huh? Why d’ya ask? T’was some necklace I found layin’ around. Why?” he asked, sitting down at the table to eat. “I can’t believe it...” her voice was soft, yet full of rage, almost destroying the mug in her hands. “Of course it had to be him...But to think he’d steal from the only person who defended him...That’s a special kind of scumbag.” Asmo groaned, shaking his head in disbelief. “You really are the worst, Mammon. I can’t believe we are related.” Belphie glared at his elder brother. “Huh?! Whadya mean?! Shouldn’t y’all be happy for me, for getting such a great deal for a cheap necklace?!” he yelled at them, not realising the dark aura surrounding the person behind him, “He really is an idiot.” Beel’s eyes softened, looking with pity at the girl. “I can’t say that I’m surprised...Maybe just disappointed.” Satan looked at him in disgust, then shifted his gaze away, unable to look at him any longer. “Oi, what the hell’s wrong with y’all?! What’ve I done?! Y/N, help me out here, give ‘em a piece of your mind!” Mammon turned around to look at the girl, only then realising that she had tears streaming down her face, and her small form was trembling softly. “The Lord of Shadows would never do something to hurt Henry..But what can you expect from someone who would sell Seraphina’s UR+ figurine anyway?” Levi shook his head. “What have you done...? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! YOU SOLD MY NECKLACE ON AKUZON, THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE DONE, YOU STUPID, SCUMMY, BRAINDEAD DUMBASS!” she yelled at him, pouring the hot chocolate on his head, making everyone gasp in shock at her reaction. “So what?! It’s just a cheap necklace! I can buy you 5000 ones just like that! Even the stone wasn’t genuine! I made you a favour by riddin’ you of it!” he got to his feet, arguing with her, not expecting her to get violent, grab him by his uniform blazer, shaking him with all the force she could muster. “YOU CANNOT BRING THE MEMORIES BACK, YOU DIMWIT! It was a goddamn family heirloom! It was the only thing I had from my family! My mother gave it to me before she died! How could you do this to me, Mammon?! I thought we were friends!” when her all her strength left her body, she started sobbing softly, which made the demon stiff as a board. “I-I-I...H-How was I supposed to know that?! C’mon, I don’t read minds, y’know?” he argued, but his voice was nothing higher than a mutter. “I told you...I told you before...I told you, god damn it...I told you my mum gave it to me on my birthday...And then she died...I told you I have no family to return to...I told you all the women in my family had the same nickname, and it’s engraved in the back of the pendant...I told you...But you never listen, do you? All you care about is money...Money...Money...And only money...You are such a disappointment...I can’t believe it...” her voice held a myriad of raw emotions, ranging from hatred, disappointment, confusion, rage, anxiety, nervousness, sorrow, nostalgia and many more - All that seemed to transfer to Mammon right away, as he started panicking. “Look, I-I’m sorry, okay?! I didn’t mean it! I screwed up, I’m sorry! Please don’t be mad at me!” he looked like a kicked puppy, but the girl didn’t care anymore. “I take back all the good things I said about you. I take back all the times I bothered to defend you from the insults and bullying of your brothers. I take back all the pity I had for your stupid puppy face. I take it all back. You are nothing more than a greedy disappointment. I am no longer your friend, I never want to see your face again, nor hear your voice, and I refuse to be anywhere near your. Goodbye, Mammon, we are never going to be friends again.” she roughly pushed him on the chair, making everyone look at the scene, speechless. “I respected you, cared for you...Fuck, I really loved you, Mammon, more than anyone would know...And look how you treat me. I guess that’s what I get for trying to babysit some braindead fuck up who cares for no one but himself. Disgusting.” she sneered, glaring at him with dead eyes, before turning on her heel and going to her room, passing by Lucifer, who looked at her with confusion. “Did something happen...?” he asked, unsure of what to do. “I won’t be going to class tomorrow.” she muttered, passing by him and going to her room.

For the remainder of the day, she answered no texts, nor calls, and ignored everyone who tried to enter her room, going as far as to put spells on her door so that if they tried entering her room would get transported in the underground pool, and the yelling and knocking on the door wouldn’t be heard, no matter how hard they tried.

All the time, she tried her best to track her the person who bought the necklace, explain to them that it’s not magical and that it’s just a cheap, old accessory with emotional attachment, and that she will pay them all the money back in return for it.

500k for a necklace...What a robbery...

And the respective witch asked for double, to compensate.

That’s double the robbery.

But what could she do...?

Y/N checked her bank account, realised that she has already 800k Grimm she held on, to buy everyone gifts at the end of the year, to thank them for being such a great family for her, but that was going to be for another time.

The witch said they should meet at the end of the week, so she had enough time to raise at least 150k...And for the rest of the 50k, she’ll have to borrow from someone.

At school, every time she saw him, Y/N ignored Mammon, or did a spell to push him away, doing exactly as she promised she would do, and it was clearly affecting him.

It went the same in the classroom, as they were deskmates...

“Hey. Hey, Y/N. Y/N, listen to me! I’m sorry, okay? Don’t be mad! I-I’ll make it up for ya, okay?! How ‘bout I take ya to a Karaoke night at The Fall, as we said? O-Or lemme treat ya at Hell’s Kitchen -...Or better, Ristorante Six!” he kept rambling, which made the girl tsk, take out the scissors she had in her bag, cutting her finger and drawing a blood symbol on the back of her notebook, slammed it with her palm, before touching his cheek, and so, no matter how much he tried to speak, he wouldn’t be heard.

And when eating meals together...

“Yo, Y/N, my favourite human! Look what I brought! There’s this super VIP place that makes the best pizza, and I got one of each taste, so ya’ll see which is your fave!” he chirped, trying his best to stay cheerful as he sat down to her left, only to see he stop chatting with Asmo, raised her plate, and sat on his right, between the 5th and 4th eldest brothers, completely ignoring him.

It continued when he started getting bullied again, for who knows what reason...

“Not so smug now that Y/N isn’t taking your side anymore, huh? Well, you deserve it, after all. You really fucked up with her, y’know?” Belphie glared at his brother, leaning on Beel. “I know, okay?! I keep tryin’ to make it up to her, but she doesn’t even hear me out! What can I even do?!” he asked, obvious desperation in his voice. “Nothing, at this point. She’s working all night to get the money to pay the witch who bought the necklace from you. I don’t know how you can make up to her.” Beel shrugged, munching on his goat cheese tartar burger. “I heard from Satan she has to pay double. If I had to throw away all the money I kept for safe keeping, then have to be forced to work and borrow more to get to 1M Grimm just to get my prized possession back...I’d have killed you.” Belphie scoffed, putting his pillow on Beel’s shoulder, ready to take a nap. “Oh...I...Had no idea...” the white haired demon muttered, hanging his head, feeling his heart being ripped apart at the suffering he caused the person he holds so dear to his heart. “You never know anything you should know, why are you surprised.” Belphie muttered, shrugging “Imagine all the food you could buy with that much money. Maybe I should bring her a burger too, it may make her smile. Haven’t seen her smile since that day.” Beel nodded, getting up, with his younger brother in one arm, while the other hand held a take away food bag.

And the only one who managed to give him any sort of advice was Lucifer...

“I’m at my wit’s end, Lucifer! What can I do?! Nothing I try works! I feel like I’m losin’ her more and more with each minute...And she’s already gettin’ her necklace back, there’s nothin’ I can do to make her at least stop ignorin’ me...” Mammon sighed, sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, in Lucifer’s study room, his head held in his hands, gripping at his hair, barely stopping himself from outright sobbing. “Keep on trying. I’m sure she will appreciate the effort you’re doing, even if she’s angry at you now, and rightfully so. The fact that you realised your mistake, and the gravity of it, is the first step towards redemption and forgiveness. Don’t give up...There’s no one who cares for you as much as she does.” the eldest brother sat down next to him, putting his hand on his shoulder and squeezing it reassuringly. “Thanks, Lucifer...I guess it takes time to heal...” he muttered, nodding as a way to thank him.

For the rest of the week, he continued to try to apologise in all the ways, imaginable and unimaginable he could muster, trying his best not to get discouraged by her ignoring him and going out of her way to stay as far away as possible.

However, he noticed how Beel was right, and he hasn’t seen a single uprise in the corners of her lips, there was no glint in her eyes, no warmth in her presence, and no life in her movements. She was tired, and rightfully so, considering the amount of work she’s doing, while also going to classes...

She’s just a frail, little human, she’s going to overexert her brittle body and break! Y/N already sprained her wrist by falling in her plight up the stairs once, a long time ago, and he has already seen her overworking on studying and doing multiple things to please people...

He can’t let that happen again!

But what can he do, anyway...?

On the last day of the week, he desperately tried to search for her, only to overhear a conversation in the library, between her and one of her brothers, and his heart started breaking even more, if that was possible.

“Hey...Satan? Can I ask for your insight on something?” Y/N asked, sitting on the couch next to the blond, who was reading in the library, as per usual. “Yes, what is it?” he asked, closing his book, giving her his undivided attention. “I managed to track down the witch who bought my necklace, and she said she will agree to an exchange deal, if I give her the money back...In double. I need 50k for this afternoon, and I don’t have how to get so much in such a short time, so I’ll have to borrow from someone. Any idea?” she sighed, her lips turning into a self-pitying smile. “I see...Well, honestly, anyone you ask would lend you money, but since you have to hurry, then here’s I’ll transfer you the money you need in your account.” he pat her head, doing as he said. “Thank you, Satan, you’re a true life saver. I owe you everything.” she sighed in relief, hugging him tightly.

Him! She should have picked him! He would give her his heart on a platter to sell, if she asked for it! He would sell every possession he had, including his organs, just to make sure she got her necklace back! Nevermind that it was his fault, even if it wasn’t, he’d have still given you everything he had to make sure she stops destroying her health and start glowing with happiness again.

He missed her angelic voice when speaking to him, he missed the glint in her eyes whenever she hung out with him, or helped him hide from his brothers, he missed the soft kisses she gave on his cheeks whenever she congratulated him on something great he did, and he missed how little and warm her hand was, in his, fingers intertwined, whenever she’d walk side by side. He missed how cute she was in his arms, whenever he’d crash at her place and want to cuddle, and how she was a feisty firecracker filled with justice when he got bullied and insulted by everyone.

He missed her so much...

Now that he had her around him so much, he felt it impossible that she should disappear just like that...And yet, she did, and nothing in his life hurt Mammon more than Y/N hating him.

She’s now on her way to meet the witch, get her necklace back, and here he was, a failure... But a failure who felt like something wrong was going to happen, while he was pacing, and looking at the watch, he noticed it was about time the exchange was to happen...Yet he never picked up where it would be...?

He called all his brothers, one by one, and only Satan seemed to know where she was, so Mammon ran there as fast as the fastest demon could.

Y/N was skeptical, nervous, and afraid to deal with this witch, as she was radiating an evil and intimidating aura, and it was obvious she was heavily overpowering her with her magic.

“I’ve got your money...It’s on my credit card. I will transfer it right away...But please show me the necklace first.” she muttered, holding up her phone, showing the 1M Grimm account she owned. “Good...VERY Good, little mouse. Here is your little necklace...I will give it to you as soon as you transfer the money.” she smirked, making Y/N nod and bite her lip, but doing as she was told. “Here. Did you get it? It says it got sent.” she showed her phone screen again, letting the witch check. “Perfect~! What a good, obedient little human you are...I should have you around as my lackey more often. You’re much more reliable with bringing me money than that stupid Mammon.” she scoffed, using her hand to roughly squish Y/N’s cheeks. “Can I have my necklace now, please?” she tried to say, despite looking like a fish. “Yeah, sure, here you are....Oops! Oh, no, it broke! What a pity~!” she giggled darkly as she she destroyed the necklace, letting the pieces fall to the ground, along with Y/N’s paralysed form. “NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! You promised you’d give it back! I have you the money you asked for! Why did you do that?!” Y/N groveled on the ground, trying to desperately pick up pieces of the broken necklace. “You’d think someone who spent so much time with demons wouldn’t be so stupid! Didn’t I just say? You’re so much better than that failure of a Greed demon! You KNOW him! And you KNOW all the brothers! You are that exchange human Diavolo is protecting! Hahaha...! Imagine everything I could do if I held you hostage! I can force Diavolo to marry me, I can have Lucifer and Satan be my consorts, Mammon to constantly give me jewels and clothes, Asmodeus to please me, Beelzebub to bring me food, and Belphegor to make sure my room is always perfect! And that’s only thanks to your idiocy, you little, worthless human!” her grin was wide and scary, as she suddenly grabbed Y/N’s hair, roughly pulling her up, before using her hand to grab her slender neck and squeeze, as a threat and a warning. “Keep on dreaming...That will never happen...And leave Mammon alone, he’s not stupid.” Y/N tried to claw at the witch’s hand, only to get roughly slapped, then got a pain curse put on her, which made her fall to the ground, gritting her teeth to keep from wailing in agony. “Don’t tell me...This stupid little human is in love with that waste of space? Did you know what I fucked him? Long before you even existed in this life. He cried and screamed so much that night, it was pitiful, but also amusing. You’re nowhere close to even be in my league, but you think you can please the Avatar of Greed? You’re really pathetic and delusional, darling.” the witch’s banshee-like laugh resounded through the abandoned field, amplifying the curse, as her voice was only beaten by Y/N’s stifled cries of pain. “You will pay for this.” she managed to say, before she felt a sharp pain in her side, which proved to be a kick in the ribs. “I already did, darling, the moment your stupid Mammon sold your necklace, and you tracked me down, instead of letting him try to get it back. He’s already high in debt with everyone, but he wasn’t stupid enough to be in my debt too...But now, for your sake, I WILL get him, and all of the others!” her voice was dark and menacing...Only for it to suddenly stop, as sudden the pain from the curse.

And yet, a much darker, stronger, overwhelming, suffocating aura seemed to make the whole place look as the abyss just took over.

“There’s one thing to mess with me, Maddi, but it’s another to mess with the girl I love. I don’t care what ya put me through, but as soon as ya try to even look Y/N’s way, I’m killin' ya, and ya did much worse than that. Say goodbye to your life, ‘cause I’m truly pissed off.” next thing that the human eye could comprehend was a flash of black, then a screech, and the sound of flesh being ripped. “Shit, I made a mess...Not very like me...” he muttered, before dropping to his knees in front of Y/N, pulling her into a protective embrace. “I’m so sorry ya had to see me like this, Y/N. I ain’t like this, I promise. I couldn’t stand seein’ ya gettin’ hurt, especially knowin’ it was my fault and I caused all this mess. I did all that, and yet, ya still defended me in front of her...I don’t deserve ya, Y/N, you’re too good for me.” his voice was so soft, so full of pain and regret, that she couldn’t help but throw her arms around him, letting the tears she held on from fear. “I love you so much, Mammon, you have no idea. And you saved me now...Gosh, I was so scared...I’m so glad you got here...I’m sorry I got so mad at you, Monnie, and it was all for nothing. She broke it. I ruined everything.” she sobbed, holding onto him as if to dear life, and he could only cradle her, cooing soothing words into her ear to calm her down as much as he could. “It’s fine...I screwed up, ya did nothing wrong, I promise. I ain’t mad at you, I deserved everythin’. Trust me when I say it, no matter what, I will always love ya, y’got me? Never forget that. You’re my favourite human, and nobody’s ever gonna even dare to think about approaching ya with bad intentions.” he kissed the top of her head, feeling her heart beat at a more normal pace. “I forgive you, Monnie. You will always be my favourite person in the world.” she muttered, raising her head to look at him, wiping her tears with her sleeve and smiling softly. “Eyyy, that’s the smile I was waitin’ for! I missed it so much. I can’t stand ya bein’ sad.” Mammon confessed, his face burning with a blush, but not being able to feel Tsundere in any way, and instead, he held her hands, kissing her knuckles. “I’m really sorry about your necklace. I’m sorry I forgot what ya said, and that I stole it from your room. I promiseI won’t do that again.” he squeezed her hands, looking at her with a sincere look in his gorgeous blue eyes. “I know you’re sorry, Angel Eyes. It’s fine...It’s just a necklace, after all. It’s not good getting overly attached to material things...And I have you, I don’t need any necklaces.” she confessed, fighting to keep the pain away from the thought of the broken necklace.

As she smiled, she quickly took her hands from his, cupping his face and pulling him into a passionate kiss, letting out all the pent up emotions they both had stored in their hearts for so long - All the love, the softness, the gentleness, all that as if afraid the other was a mere illusion and they were afraid they’d wake up and everything happy will disappear.

Mammon knew what Heaven was, and nothing felt better than kissing Y/N and having her close to him, that much was certain for him.

Still in his demon form, he picked her up and quickly got back home, since, after all, he wasn’t the fastest demon for nothing, and brought her back to her room, preparing a hot bath to her, proceeded by lots of good food, snacks and drinks, cuddles and a movie marathon of any film she wishes to see. As long as she was in his arms, safe and sound, happy and smiling, then he couldn’t care less about anything around him.

One week later, unbeknownst to her, things started shifting in her favour, as when she checked to see how much money she had left, she found the whole sum back into her account, then, when she went to Satan to give back the borrowed money, he chuckled, saying the debt was already paid...

And obviously, that was all Mammon’s work, no doubt, and at this point, she knew she shouldn’t even bother trying to find out how he managed to do that, but she was still thankful and decided to order the jacket and shades he knew he wanted, packed in a beautiful yellow and blue package, resembling his eyes.

She left it in front of his door one day, knocking before running away, giggling childishly to herself, and her heart started racing at dinner when she saw him wearing the gifts from her, and he looked gorgeous.

“Woaw, Mammon, that’s a really nice jacket. Where’d you get it from?” Asmo asked, his eyes wide at the obviously expensive item he was wearing. “Quite a lot, but you gotta say, he it suits him perfectly, don’t you think?” Y/N stifled her chuckle, leaning back on her chair with a smug expression seeing everyone’s shocked faced. “Whaaaaaaaaat?! So you made up?! For real?!” Levi gasped loudly. “Yep. I can’t stay mad at him.” she shrugged simply, winking at the white haired demon who was the only who knew the secret. “Why can’t I say that I’m surprised?” Satan chuckled with his usual, passive smile. “What about the necklace?” Beel asked, looking at her with a worried look. “Ah...About that...It was broken by the buyer. Nothing else to be done, unfortunately, so they gave the money back.” Y/N gave him a side smile, coming up with a milder version of the story. “Uhm...A-About that...Uhmm...Y-Ya see...Lucifer’s real cool, y’know? He’s like, super smart, and, uhh...I managed to...Y’know...I-I-I...” Mammon kept stumbling over his words, walking behind her, putting the necklace around her neck that had no more marks from that witch. “I fixed it for you.” he muttered, trying to hide his face in her hair so nobody could see him. “Would you look at that? It looks as if it was never broken in the first place. Who’d have thought.” Belphie let out an amused breath looking at the two lovebirds. “How...? But...It was in so many pieces...Some that we didn’t even find...This is impossible...?!” she kept staring at the necklace, not believing her eyes. “W-Well...Lucifer helped me find the lost pieces...And taught me this spell to get it back to its original form. Wasn’t simple, but...I-I think it’s okay.” he spoke in flustered voice, making the girl squeal with absolute glee. “You’re the best, Monnie! I can’t believe it...! You’re truly the best!” she jumped from her chair, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down in another mind blowing kiss that made the poor demon completely forget himself. “Hahahaha, y-yeah, o-of course I’m the best!! I-I’m THE Great Mammon, after all! Haaaaa!” he tried his best to appear boastful, but the fact that he was flustered beyond belief, making his brothers chuckle at how cute they were.

What a surprise, the cutest human being such a great pair for the cutest demon ( at least by Lucifer’s standards, anyway. )

So maybe, after all, if you have enough will, and a brother who knows great magic, you can reverse the outcome of an explosion of that caliber.

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hermionegranger56 · 4 years

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ok lads its time for my breakdown of folklore, something absolutely no one is asking for but here we are!! this album. thIs ALBUMMMM. dear GOD. the intersection of my two favorite things, taylor swift and indie folk???? i feel like i’m dreaming. when she announced the surprise drop i literally burst into tears and evidently for good reason lol.

anywho here’s the thing. Red has been my all time favorite album for 8 years now. it holds such an important place in my life and i never thought anything she did could come close (though Lover almost did). but this. THIS IS BETTER THAN RED

the lyrical genius is unmatched here. taylor isn’t just writing songs here, this is POETRY. every song is nuanced, intricate, devastatingly beautiful, with words that’ll haunt me for a long time. and the fact that it’s stories, literal folklore, no longer just about her own life is incredibly creative and is executed so well for someone who has interwoven her life into her entire body of music thus far. folklore blends facts with fiction so seamlessly and is a true exhibition of taylor’s power as a songwriter.

and the vibessss!! from haunting heartbreak songs, to ethereal lost-in-the-woods vibes, to a comforting return to her old self, this album has everything. taylor is without a doubt one of the most versatile artists of our generation, having success and skill in multiple genres and folklore only solidifies this fact.

ALL RIGHT KIDS LETS JUMP IN

the 1: hell yeah explicit tswift give it to me lol you ARE on some new shit!! ok when i first listened to this i hadn’t read her statement about the other perspectives and i was about to RIOT about her and joe breaking up (like they could ever lol). this is such a catchy beat, such a casual?? look at such a painful feeling? a really good start to this album. the part where she goes another day waking up aLONE killlllllls me wow

fave lines: “in my defense i have none/for never leaving well enough alone”

cardigan: (don’t get me started on the mv it’s gorgeous) YES THE TEENAGE LOVE TRIANGLE suchhh a good concept!! the melody of this song is unreal, the chorus makes me want to scream it’s so beautiful, the i-i-i is SOMETHING ELSE. it’s crazy how just the melody makes betty’s pain so palpable, but so enchanting at the same time. it’s bittersweet and cinematic and i’m in love. PETER LOSING WENDY GOD. easily top 5 song here

fave lines: “when you are young they assume you know nothing”, “cause i knew you/ heartbeat on the high line/ once in 20 lifetimes i” “you drew stars around my scars/but now i’m bleeding”

the last great american dynasty: watch hill!!! her watch hill house!! i live near there!! oh i think this song is so clever and i love how it ties into mad woman as well as harkens back to starlight. i LOVE the way she ties her self in, “and then it was bought by me” like ughhh her mind? and its catchy AF

fave lines: “i had a marvelous time ruining everything”

exile: YOU KNOW HOW TO DO AN INDIE ALBUM??? BRING BON IVER INTO THIS SHIT!! wowww this song is haunting and is definitely the “i’m you but stronger” version of The Last Time. the overlap of both of them singing and their parallel lines are flawless. i could play this on repeat for hours and contemplate my whole existence

fave lines: “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs”

my tears ricochet: ok somehow a track 5 with tears in the title is not the saddest song here but DAMN is it good. I love the visual of someone watching over their funeral and reacting. the music is stunningggg here. ALSO i am pretty convinced this is about the whole scott/scooter drama, like the lyrics fit so well? and she said it was the first song she wrote so the timeline kinda fits?? geniusss

fave lines: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”, “and if i’m dead to you/why are you at the wake?”

mirrorball: ohhhh this one is so pretty!! it just makes me want to dance around the kitchen with the person i love??? its comforting, ethereal, happyyy ugh i love it. I also think it could be about her relationship with her fans? like her music shows us different sides of ourselves idk? or just absorbing into a relationship?

fave lines: “on my tallest tiptoes/shining just for you”

seven: i’m gonna call this now: this is going to be the most underrated song on this album. it is STUNNING. POETIC. HEARTBREAKING. the music is so hauntingly nostalgic. and the lyrics, holy absolute shit. they’re a delicate testament to childhood, memory, and innocent love. it’s gut wrenching and i love it so so much

fave lines: “i’ve been meaning to tell you/i think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad/and that must be why”, “and just like folk song/our love will be passed on”, “before i learned civility/ i used to scream ferociously” ALL OF IT

august: and now we get the girl james cheated with’s perspective, which i think is great. its sunny, wistful and sad underneath all that beautiful production. when she slides from the chorus to the “back when we we’re changing for the better” and hits that “mineeee to lose” GOD, it just fills your chest. i feel like even if you never have, this makes anyone feel like they know exactly what a summer fling feels like. one of my faves

fave lines: “august slipped away/like a bottle of wine”, “cancel my plans just in case you call/ and say meet me behind the mall”

this is me trying: the slow pacing of this melody serves to show these EXQUISITE lyrics here. this is so intimate and personal and i feel like everyone can relate to this feeling of just trying to hold on and put on a brave face?

fave lines: “they told me all of my cages were mental/ so i got wasted like all my potential”

illicit affairs: ok all you need to know about this one is a) I’m obsessed b) this is the closest she has come to creating a bridge that makes me feel like the All Too Well bridge has, like scream sobbing in the car type vibe??? its unreal. and this song makes me feel that shitty feeling of: “this was supposed to be casual but oops its very much not” hmmm maybe that’s where the scream sobbing comes from hahah

fave lines: “don’t call me kid/don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string: this. THIS is probably her most stunning love song. like. i thought it was Lover. i was wrong. this one is confidently from Taylor’s perspective, about Joe and dear lord i want a love like theirs. and shit does this song put the folk in folklore, the music is so simple and gorgeous and harkens back to her country roots without losing this new sound she has. and the first few notes remind me of Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens so instantly im sold. this and betty are tied for my number 1, it’s just too beautiful

fave lines: “time curious time/give me no compasses/give me no signs” “isn’t it just so pretty to think/all along there was some invisible string/tying you to me”, “cold was steel of the axe that i had to grind/for the boys who broke my heart/now i buy their babies presents”, “hell was the journey/but it brought me heaven”

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVERRRRRR!!! yes taylor said fuckkkk ugh i LOVE this vibe, the revenge of the mad woman that the town cast out is so eerie and powerful, i’m obsessed. it ties back into the maddest woman of TLGAD and it feels like a spiritual sequel to The Man, the same feminist thread weaving through it. the lyrics are razor sharp and biting, i love it

fave lines: “and you poke that bear/till the claws come out/ and you find something/ to wrap your noose around”, “it’s obvious wanting me dead has really brought you two together”

epiphany: so uhhh THIS is the saddest song on folklore. fight me. the seamless comparison between wartime and the pandemic and waiting for some epiphany that could make sense of all the horrors surrounding the both. idk man, as someone who’s been a covid nurse since March, i just….this one HURTS. similar to Soon You’ll Get Better tbh

fave lines: “hold your hand through plastic now/doc i think she’s crashing out/and somethings you just can’t speak about”

betty: OH I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART! this is such a TRIUMPHANT return to old taylor, it is so joyful but sad at the same time?? the harmonica?? the last part of the love triangle?? it sounds like Taylor Swift and Fearless all grown up and it makes me ache for back then, but love where we are right now. tbh the first time i heard this i sobbed through the whole thing just out of pure nostalgia. she’s back but at the same time she never left. this feels like a love song to original fans and it. is. incredible. my favoriteeee goddd

fave lines: THE WHOLE CHORUS BABYYYYY

peace: it’s gorgeous, especially the guitarrr ugh. this feels like delicate’s quiet older sister. i think it’s definitely about joe and how taylor, despite loving him, still has these insecurities and fears about what a relationship with someone in her position could be like? like there will be struggles, but he’s her family and she “would die for you in secret”. stunning

fave lines: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm”, “the devils in the detail/but you’ve got a friend in me”, “give you my wild/give you a child”

hoax: i’m surprised she ended it on a sad one (but we still have the lakes!!) but this song is hauntingly beautiful WOW. every line of this absolutely floors me. i think this one will also be largely underrated, but it is pure poetry and deserves so so much hype

fave lines: “stood on the cliffside/screaming give me a reason/your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in”, “it still hurts underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark” “my kingdom come undone/ my broken drum/ you have beaten my heart”

ANYWHO TAYLOR HAS PRODUCED HER BEST WORK TO DATE AND IM READY FOR SAD GIRL AUTUMN

#taylor swift #folklore #tswift #folklore the album #taylor swift folklore #ts8 folklore #folklore era #betty #august #cardigan #exile

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gleefail · 4 years

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Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”

ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?

“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…

“I bet that duck’s in the hat”

“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?

Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(

omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*

“other asian” Ha!

Brittana!

“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart

I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”

I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.

Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”

“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha

Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.

Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.

Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?

“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.

Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.

“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”

“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.

Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!

“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”

“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?

Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.

So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.

Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.

“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”

“Dude. Impulse control!” haha

“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart

Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.

“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”

“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”

Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.

“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.

Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.

“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”

Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.

haha. Babygate.

“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.

“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.

Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?

“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart

“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.

omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?

You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.

So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.

“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart

Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.

Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.

“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.

“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.

Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.

“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart

Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.

haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.

Damn, Kevin McHale.

Damn, Amber Riley.

SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)

#Glee Memories #Glee #lol Glee #Glee Ballad

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janelevy · 4 years

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sinkhole

requested by @thena0315

summary: on her way to work one morning, ava ends up in a sticky situation and has to rely on her skills to help others before paramedics arrive. nothing romantic here, just our fave being a badass!

warnings: some descriptions of injuries, nothing super gory. just lots of blood. also minimal swearing

also by the way, i finally figured out how to allow anonymous asks, so if anyone prefers to send asks/prompts on anon y’all should be able to do that now! thanks <3

Ava was running a little more behind schedule than she would’ve liked, but she knew a decent shortcut to get to Med. Switching lanes, she turned her car away from Monday morning traffic and took an exit off the freeway.

Her day hadn’t gotten off to the best start. Somehow she slept through her alarm, then she didn’t realize she threw on her scrub shirt backwards until people gave her weird looks in Starbucks. On top of that, she woke up to a missed call from her mother and judging by the length of the message she left, it wasn’t a happy “How are you?” kind of call. Oh, and of course - it was raining. If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May showers bring? June floods? Ava thought to herself with a sigh. She slowed at a stop sign, glanced left then right, then proceeded into her shortcut through the neighborhood.

She yawned - somehow she was still tired despite getting more sleep than intended - and watched her windshield wipers work through the drizzle. She coasted to another stop sign; a fleeting glance in her rearview mirror showed a tailgater who literally appeared out of thin air behind her. Ava rolled her eyes and continued forward... then downward.

It was like the road surface below her car’s tires turned to liquid. One second she could see the overcast rainy sky, then the next second she was several feet below ground with dirt crumbled over her windshield.

It all happened so fast that it took a minute for her to recover. As soon as the numbness of shock wore off, Ava registered the feeling of her heart crawling uneasily up her throat. “Shit,” she panted, unbuckling her seatbelt and trying to open her door. At first it didn’t budge, but after a few more solid kicks and shoves, it fell completely off its hinges and rested on a large chunk of earth with a groan. She stumbled out, steadying herself against the side of her now thoroughly busted-up car. Damn, she was so close to having it paid off, too.

Then for the first time, Ava fully took in her surroundings. The tailgater’s truck had also tumbled into this pit with her, and the guy didn’t look to be in great shape. A car that had been parked above but appeared to be empty had also fallen in with them, and other than that Ava couldn’t see any sign of life. She drew in a stinging breath filled with dust and dirt, then tried to move toward the truck. The crumbly earth below her feet definitely didn’t feel sturdy, so she kept her steps steady and light. The rain still coming down made the ground too slippery and muddy.

Everything around her was deadly quiet. It felt like it was just them, rain-slicked mud, and the sky, which was now much higher above than before. Ava picked her way over to the pickup in about a minute and once she arrived she surveyed the scene. It looked like the truck had taken a direct nose dive into the sinkhole if the busted-up front end indicated anything. The passenger side airbags had deployed, but the driver’s hadn’t, which explained the mask of blood that now coated his lower face. He moaned, eyes lazily flicking to her as she reached through the open window for the lock.

“What...” he mumbled, and the rest of his question turned into a violent cough. Ava noticed more blood splatter on the steering wheel, so she started working faster. Blindly her fingers scrabbled around the inside of the door until they found the door lock, which she flipped the other way before she stepped back and wrenched the door open.

From a brief examination, it looked like the worst of his injuries was blunt force trauma to his face and chest from slamming into the steering wheel. He definitely had the grounds to sue the manufacturer of his truck’s shitty airbags. Ava nudged the door open the rest of the way and moved in closer, running her hands firmly over the man’s torso. He seemed pretty out of it, but she hoped to at least get a name and pain rating out of him.

“Hey, hey. What’s your name?” she asked, hands pausing at the base of his ribcage.

He winced and twisted his head away from her. “M- Mark,” he grunted through gritted teeth. “Who are y...” He trailed off, doubling over when her hands found a particularly bad spot.

“Okay, Mark. My name is Ava, I’m a doctor.” Gingerly she pressed on the area again, and a whimper escaped Mark’s throat. She would best be able to tell what was the problem if she could cut through his shirt, but she had a hunch Mark wouldn’t be a fan of that idea. Instead, she let another question speed off her tongue. “On a scale from one to ten, one being nothing and ten being excruciating, how is your pain here?”

One last time, she applied pressure, and Mark leaned forward again while trying to swat her away. “God dammit! Ten. It’s a ten. Eleven, if you like. Seems you’re... trying to make it an eleven.”

“I’m just assessing the severity of the wound.” Ava removed her hands and glanced back at her car. Now that she knew he was stable, she felt better going back for her phone. “I’ll be right back, I’m going to call for help.”

Within a few minutes Ava was back at Mark’s truck and was on the phone with 911. “Hello, my name is Ava Bekker and I’ve been caught in an accident with one other victim.”

“... wait, wait, Dr. Bekker? That’s you?” the voice on the other end demanded.

“Yes?” Ava stood with one hand on her hip, squinting around at the mounds of dirt. She could’ve sworn she heard another voice on her way back over here.

“I know you! You were my mother’s surgeon last year.” Ava’s impatience was already starting to come to a head, but luckily the operator got back on topic. “Anyway, what happened? Where are you?”

Ava frowned as she tried to recall the intersection she’d been at before literally falling into the ground. “Um... I believe we’re somewhere near the intersection of Buttonwood and... Oak Streets? A sinkhole opened up in the Englewood neighborhood a few blocks from Med. I’m sure it’ll be hard to miss it.” Her eyes flicked down to Mark, who was still sitting dazed and breathing heavily. “I’m fine but I have a man here in his late forties, early fifties who has blunt force trauma to the face and chest. Some broken teeth, definitely some bruising and broken ribs. Possibly dealing with flail chest, but I have limited resources. Not exactly an OR down here.”

Right as the operator began to reply, Ava distinctly heard a soft call for help. “Hold on,” she said and held the phone away from her ear. “Hello?” she yelled, throat hoarse as she tiptoed over the loose ground toward a pile of earth. “Hello? Is there someone else there?”

“Help!” There it was again. Ava knelt down and brushed away several layers of dirt to discover a woman slathered in mud and cuts of various sizes and depths. Ava worked to uncover more of her body. “Make that two victims,” she barked into the phone, then froze. The woman was trapped, alright; a heavy rock was planted on her left leg, nearly crushing it into two pieces. Blood was everywhere.

“I- I was walking my dog and... and the ground just...” The woman threw her head back, and Ava noticed another gushing laceration on the side of her scalp.

“Just opened up, right? I know. One minute I was in my car on the road, then the next I was down here.” Ava did her best to smile at her despite the situation and her exhaustion. God, she was still probably going to have to work a full shift after all this. Fuck Mondays.

Ava took in the mangled leg and the blood pouring incessantly from where the boulder sat on what had to be a pulverized kneecap. Instinctively she took off her scrub top, leaving on the thin long sleeve t-shirt underneath, and pressed the black garment to the wound to act as gauze and absorb the blood. Right away it became clear that wouldn’t be enough. She needed a makeshift tourniquet to curb the bleeding. Ava made her way back over to her car, then was back in a flash with the only piece of fabric long enough to be sufficient: her white coat. It was one of her older ones anyway, and she had plenty of others, not that she cared. She slid the coat beneath the leg, and the woman let out a sob. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay,” Ava muttered, concentrating on tying the coat tightly above the injury while continuing to press her soaked scrubs on it. She could bleach these all she wanted but there was no coming back from this.

Then, at long last, she heard the sirens. Ava hung up on the operator and looked up; the faces of many first responders peered back down at her. She waved and yelled, “We have to work fast, I have two critical patients down here!”

It took a good thirty minutes, but eventually Ava was back aboveground. Of course she allowed Mark and the woman to be carried up first. Once she was back up, they offered a ride in an ambulance and she accepted. She wasn’t about to stick around to watch them bring up the vehicles - she’d already retrieved her important documents and her still-warm coffee from her car, anyway.

The first person Ava saw upon walking through the ED doors was Maggie, who stood at the desk with her jaw on the floor. “Ava! Don’t tell me you were in that sinkhole, too?”

Ava sipped her coffee and leaned on the counter. Only now was she really feeling the pain and exhaustion deep in her bones; the adrenaline was wearing off. “Yes. Thought I’d take a shortcut to work. Now I have to go car shopping again.”

Maggie shook her head in awe, then Ava looked over and spotted Connor emerging from a consult in treatment five. He noticed her too and finished rubbing hand sanitizer into his hands as he jogged over. “Ava! Where have you been? You’re never late.” Then he halted and gave her a once-over. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks. So do you.” She grinned and patted his shoulder as she brushed past him. “I don’t think I need an exam, but I know it’s a good idea. So make it quick, because I have an operation in an hour.” And without protest, he followed her.

#chicago med #ava bekker #fanfic

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endless-whump · 5 years

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Ooh can we send prompts? Here is one of my faves: "Character gets captured by someone with mind powers. The captor uses their powers to repeatedly give the captive the illusion of escaping, just to be back in their cell by sunrise. When help actually arrives, the captive thinks it is an illusion and resists their friends' help"

I’m gonna use Merlin for this because I don’t have any OC’s and I love whumping Merlin hehe.

TW: drowning, abuse, manipulation, hallucinations, descriptions of cuts/injuries, angst, mind control,

Merlin’s shoulder slammed against the cold stone, the breath being forced from his chest. He scrambled back frantically, eyes darting around in his new location. The room was cold and bare, lit by nothing but a torch. His captor stood grinning in the doorway.

“W-what do you want from me,”

Merlins teeth chattered in the cold as he drew in short, painful breaths. The captor tapped their chin sarcastically, then turned his finger back to the boy, laying on the floor.

“My dear, its really quite simple,”

He turned, around, pulling the door behind him.

“I just want a little fun”

Several hours later, Merlin sat facing the wall of his cell, scraping away at the binding between the bricks with the edge of his shackle. His wrists were bloodied, the iron digging into his raw skin, but he ignored it, continuing with his work. Finally, the brick nudged as the pressure was applied, and Merlin gave a small gasp of hope, pressing harder on the brick. It shifted more and more until it gave way and fell on the other side of the wall, cool air wafting into the room. Excited, Merlin started working avidly at the next brick, smiling as blood dripped down his arms, soaking his sleeves. Eventually a second brick gave way, this time easier. Then a third. The hole in the wall was large enough that Merlin was confident he could get through it, and not wanting to waste any more time he wiggled through, head first and then bringing through his feet. His hands were still bound by the shackles, but fortunately they were never attached to anything in the cell, leaving him free to escape. He took off running, whipping his head around at the unfamiliar surroundings. Forest enveloped him, seeming to be void of any familiar trails or markings. He saw a clearing ahead, and his heart started to race, hoping for landmarks he could recognize. Now he could see torches ahead, and he almost laughed with glee. He was safe, he was free. Suddenly, he heard a cackling laugh, and he hit something. Hard. He was whipped back, hitting the cold ground with a sickening thud.

“Wakey wakey!”

A mockingly cheerful voice sounded behind Merlin, and he groaned as he sat up to look at his captors beaming face. Confused, Merlin looked around, finding himself back in his cell. Lifting his hand to his head, he found blood dripping from his forehead, probably from where he ran straight into the cell wall. The shackled were still attached to his hands, dried blood caking his hands and arms from last night. Or, what happened last night? Merlin shook his head, trying to piece together what happened. He escaped, he was free,,-

“I see you slept well. Time for some fun.”

“How did I get here?”

Merlin couldn't help but ask out of defeated confusion.

“Deary, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. You did hit your head pretty hard on that wall though.”

He practically skipped over to Merlin, grabbing the chain between his shackled wrists. Despite Merlin’s pleas, the captor dragged Merlin across the floor, out the door and down a series of hallways, eventually dropping him to the floor. They had stopped in a seemingly. bare room, with a tub in the middle of the room. Merlins eyes widened, and he tried scrambling away, a knot in his stomach.

“Stop, please stop, just take me back, I won't try escaping again, I promise. Please stop, dear god stop.”

Merlins pleading quieted into frantic whimpers as he was again picked up and dragged, kicking and squirming towards the tub. The captor carelessly threw him in, water splashing over the side. Merlin cried out at the cold before his head was forced under, his senses drowned out by the combination splashing and screams. The water forced its way into his nose, lungs burning as Merlin uselessly screamed, thrashing under his captors steady hold. He was brought up, gasping and sobbing as he gagged on the inhaled water, only getting a few strangled breaths before being dunked under again, this time for longer. Merlin tried to close his mouth, resist screaming so that less water would enter his lungs, but it wasn't long before his body seems to take control of itself, thrashing and gasping for air that wasn't there. Again he came up, and again he went down, this time just silently grasping at the captors hands, franticly trying to squeeze or pry them free. Merlin suddenly felt the hands leave, but he almost didn't have the strength left to pull himself up to air. Before he could process what was happening, strong hands grasped his shirt, pulling him from the tub. He was softly deposited on the floor, gasping and gagging in an attempt to expel the water.

“Merlin!”

A-Arthur?

Merlin thought. No, it couldn't be him. How did they know where he was? He squinted his eyes open, seeing Arthurs concerned face hovering over him. He felt arms under him, picking him up gently as Arthur walked out the door. Merlin conceded to drop his head into his kings shoulder, too weak to try and say anything. He was so warm, cloak now draped over him. He absentmindedly thought about all the food he’d eat in Camelot, and about all the friends he could go back and see. Squeezing his eyes shut, he burrowed against Arthur’s warm cloak.

A large, metal grating sound echoed, and Merlin jerked his head up, hissing at the throbbing pain in his head. Wait, where was he? He looked around, finding cold stone underneath him. Where was Arthur?

“Wakey wakey!”

Merlin shakily looked up to meet his captors eyes, eyes gleaming down at his little prisoner.

“Wheres Arthur?”

Merlin whimpered. He noticed that his clothes were damp, and that he retained the burning pain in his throat and chest.

“Why would Arthur be here? What a silly question. Now, I-

Merlin leaped up, dodging past the startled captor as he sped down the hallway, franticly looking left and right. He sprinted forward, screeching to a halt as he sees a familiar red cape out fo the corner of his eye. Turning, he followed that direction, coming closer and now seeing Arthurs face.

“Come on, Merlin, just this way. You're almost out of here.”

Delusional, Merlin followed, spinning around the corner to see Arthur disappeared.

“Merlin, come on!”

He whipped around, running in a different direction where he heard the voice.

“Merlin, what are you doing? Don't you want to leave? Come this way!”

Laughing could be heard in all directions, and Merlin followed wherever he heard Arthurs voice, tears streaming down his face.

“Arthur! Stop playing tricks, please get me out!”

The laugher echoed, spiraling around Merlin as he grasped his head, shaking furiously.

“Meeerliiiin,”

The voice was almost musical, taunting and singsong-like. It sounded again, now in a different direction.

“Stop.”

Merlin choked out, pressing his palms into his temple. The voice didn't stop, spiraling around him and getting louder.

“Stop! Just fucking stop! Go away!”

He screamed the last plea before collapsing to his knees with a gagged cry.

“Merlin?”

A soothing voice sounded behind him, and Merlin shakily turned, seeing Arthur standing with arms outstretched.

“Come on Merlin, I'm here to get you out.”

A sob choked out from Merlin as he stood and staggered toward his king, collapsing in his arms as he was lowered to the ground. Soft, gloved hands stroked his head, soothing words whispered into his ear.

“Your safe now, Merlin, you hear me? Your safe”

The voice faded, and the touch lingered for but a moment before disintegrating like dust around him, leaving Merlin laying on the floor of his cell, rocking back and forth with his arms tightly gripped around him. The captor smiled silently from the doorway of the cell, and he nodded approvingly at his work before shutting it with a loud click, leaving the boy a shivering, empty shell of a man.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arthur and his knights surrounded the abandoned looking tower, the last place Merlin was reported being seen. Nodding to Gwain, he pressed foreword, approaching the tower entrance. No one appeared to occupy the place, but rumors of sorcery littered the nearby population. Kicking down the main door, the knights swiftly flooded the hallways, checking rooms and along the stairs for any signs of Merlin. At the top of the tower, they were faced with a locked room, which they quickly dismantled, throwing the door to the ground. Arthur wasn't prepared for what he faced. Merlin laid in a fetal position, arms wrapped around his legs as he muttered to himself, eyes squeezed shut. His wrists and arms were coated with blood, and several gashes were visible on his head and face. Merlin didn't seem to notice or acknowledge the light entering the room, or the familiar footsteps on the knights.

“Merlin? It's me, Arthur.”

He approached the servant, cautiously touching the mans shoulder. Merlin flinched, squeezing his eyes tighter as he shuddered and whimpered.

“g,,go aw-w-way. I k, know your just a trick.”

Merlin muttered the same phrases over and over. Your not real, your a trick, your not real, please go away. Your not real, you're a trick, please g-go away.

“Merlin, it's really us. We need to get you out of here, can you wal-”

A broken whimper broke from Merlins lips as he rocked back and forth, shaking his head.

“Please go away, p-please go away already.”

Arthur frowned. Why was Merlin acting like this? Arthur grasped his arm, only to be met with a loud cry as Merlin jerked away from the touch, shifting further into the corner of the room. Tears streamed down his face as he franticly shook his head, his whole body shaking like an autumns leaf. Being faced with no other choice, Arthur scooped the boy up, despite his cries of dismay. Merlin thrashed as he felt the familiar warmth of Arthurs arms and cloak. The very smell of him dwelled on the clothing, and Merlin started to hope-No. It's not Arthur, he reminded himself.

“Put me down!”

Merlin weakly swung his arm against Arthur, who looked shocked down at him. Merlin’s body was extremely hot, and he seemed to be delirious with fever as he whimpered, almost sobbing in protest at his rescue. At his command a sleeping drought was brought, and he gingerly coaxed it to Merlin’s lips. He was too weak at this point to resist, so he took the drug, eventually succumbing and falling limp in Arthurs arms, who ordered him to be carried to Gaius immediately for medical attention.

Hope you guys enjoyed this prompt! I might consider writing a sequel with the nice angst and comfort that comes along with the recovery process. Considered doing that here but its 2 in the morning and I really need to sleep lol so I’ll just make a part two later. :)

#merlin #whump #ask #prompt #whumper #captive #tw #drowning #capture #torture #manupulation #whumpee #rescue #arthur #brainwashed #mind control #magic #caretaker #fear #angst

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fineillsignup · 5 years

Text

Covering Your Ears to Steal a Bell update and wild speculation re: Gan Ning

So in the latest chapter of my (dark fic!! history is dark!! warnings!! read them!!) fic Covering Your Ears to Steal a Bell, I weave a blend of Dynasty Warriors tropes, popularly accepted history (the Sanguozhi), and the 14th century novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Sanguo Yanyi) to form my own fic. When you consider that ROTK is basically historical RPF and that the late Qing reform era Anti-Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Fan Sanguo Yanyi) was historical RPF fix-it fic where the author’s OC got to marry his favourite character (whose OC I have borrowed for my own fic), I am truly standing on the shoulders of giants when I wildly speculate on what a) actually happened b) would never have happened but is fun to imagine.

Now there’s a reason why my doc file for this Gan Ning centric story is “nice pirates are still not that nice”, and that attitude is basically how I approach this character who was, after all, a pirate living in decline of the Han dynasty China. Now, note, I’m not saying “everybody has to like Gan Ning, it’s compulsory”; but I am explaining why I like him and am not ashamed of it, even knowing all I know. Gan Ning gets the longest original section in volume 55 of the Sanguozhi, and the most later annotations, so you know what, people have liked talking about this guy for a long time. Was he their problematic fave too? Probably.

Gan Ning: Chinese pirate, my problematic fave

For people who aren’t aware, but for some reason want to try and follow along at home, the background: Gan Ning was a Chinese pirate active in the southeast-ish part of China around the year 200AD as the Han dynasty was falling apart. As regional warlords jockeyed for power, he joined up first with one (Huang Zu) and then with another who was going to beat the first (Sun Quan). The second one turned out to be pretty good at consolidating power, and carved out a kingdom called Wu in southeast China that became actually the longest lasting kingdom among the titular Three Kingdoms era of China.

They make him look something like this in the game series Dynasty Warriors. The bells and the feathers were actually his Marketing Trademark, and people remember them 1800 years later which goes to show how important it is to market yourself.

So when people are like “OMG did you know Gan Ning LIKED to KILL PEOPLE???” I’m like:

"Yeah but you don’t understand he liked to kill people for NO REASON!”

Yeah I’m still sitting here not terribly shocked. Even assuming the worst stories about him in his pre-Wu days were true—that he deliberately waited in houses where the occupants were away, just so that he would get to kill the people who lived there, instead of simply looting the houses and moving on—and not embellished to make him sound like more of a terror.... well, the end result is that he sounds like a terror, which, if you are trying to make your living as a pirate, is exactly the reputation you want? Or, to come at it with the same result but reversed, a person who is that eager to kill by nature is exactly the kind of person who would rise to significant power as a pirate in a chaotic era. So look at Captain Kirk there again for my reaction.

And again, it’s the era. What’s the difference between small-scale freelance murder and theft, aka piracy, and large-scale wholesale slaughter and theft, aka invading and conquering? In the latter case, often somebody to retroactively declare that you were emperor all along. In such an environment, I am even less eager to pass judgment.

And then there’s of course, the id. “Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you want to just go apeshitt” as the meme says. Well, actually, I’m fine with being nice in my real life, but as Lin-Manuel Miranda says, some part of you wants to experience everything. And stories—and historical stories are still stories—are a way to do that.

So that basically takes care of “he was a killer!!” as an objection to liking him, in my books.

So in this particular chapter of my story, I deal with the other reason people usually bring up for hating Gan Ning, which is a story from the Sanguozhi (and therefore probably at least somewhat true) that involves a kind of controversy about child death (I’m on the side of arguing: probably not a child), but even without the age controversy, definitely involves murder; so not everybody wants to read it, so it’s under a cut. It’s a really fascinating story on a lot of levels so if you can handle stuff like “what happened to the princes in the tower” and similar historical horrors then you should be able to handle this.

Alright so here’s the relevant section from the Sanguozhi, the more-or-less intending to be accurate historical record from the Jin dynasty, written by a man named Chen Shou who, to be clear, was not even born yet by the time that Gan Ning died. So “what REALLY happened???” can never be fully known in all details, particularly the little anecdotes that would naturally grow in the telling. But that just means that “so why did they write down THIS and in THIS WAY?” becomes its own interesting question.

Everyone who comes at this history seems to say “Chen Shou was biased in this and that way and what the truth must actually be is this, which coincidentally is my bias” so I might as well do that too.

So here’s the incident in question in the original Chinese in the Sanguozhi:

寧厨下兒曾有過，走投呂蒙。蒙恐寧殺之，故不即還。後寧齎禮禮蒙母，臨當與升堂，乃出厨下兒還寧。寧許蒙不殺。斯須還船，縛置桑樹，自挽弓射殺之。畢，勑船人更增舸纜，解衣卧船中。蒙大怒，擊鼓會兵，欲就船攻寧。寧聞之，故卧不起。蒙母徒跣出諫蒙曰：「至尊待汝如骨肉，屬汝以大事，何有以私怒而欲攻殺甘寧？寧死之日，縱至尊不問，汝是爲臣下非法。」蒙素至孝，聞母言，即豁然意釋，自至寧舩，笑呼之曰：「興霸，老母待卿食，急上！」寧涕泣歔欷曰：「負卿。」與蒙俱還見母，歡宴竟日。

I took only two semesters of classical Chinese but I never like anybody else’s translation of classical Chinese anyway so here goes (I also consulted a modern Chinese gloss). I am bolding stuff I am going to talk about.

[Gan] Ning’s kitchen boy [more on this in a minute] committed a fault, and ran to throw himself on Lü Meng’s mercy. [Lü] Meng was afraid [Gan] Ning would kill him, therefore he would not return him. Later [Gan] Ning brought many gifts to [Lü] Meng’s mother, going up to the house in person, so that the kitchen boy would be returned to [Gan] Ning. [Gan] Ning promised [Lü] Meng that he wouldn’t kill him. On the way back to the boat, [Gan Ning] tied [the servant] to a mulberry tree, and he himself drew the bow to shoot him dead. That accomplished, he ordered his boatmen to lengthen the mooring rope, and laid down in the boat with his clothes loosened. [Lü] Meng was enraged. He hit the drum to summon soldiers, and immediately went to the boat to attack [Gan] Ning. When [Gan] Ning heard it, he didn’t get up. [Lü] Meng’s mother ran out barefoot and scolded [Lü] Meng saying: “Our lord has treated you as his flesh and blood, giving you dominion over great things, so how can you kill Gan Ning out of your own personal anger? If [Gan] Ning dies today, even if our lord ignores it, you will have broken the law.” [Lü] Meng was always extremely filial. He listened to his mother’s words, and in a flash he comprehended their meaning. He went personally to [Gan] Ning’s boat, and called out to him laughing: “Xingba [Gan Ning’s style name, used between peers; here shows affection or comradery], my mom’s got food ready, hurry up!” [Gan] Ning shed tears, snorted, and sobbed, saying, “I let you down.” Then he went back together with [Lü] Meng to see his mother, and they feasted all day.

Okay so the first thing is this critical phrase 厨下兒 which has been glossed into some English translations as “kitchen boy” and similar and which English speakers have then looked at and then gone “oh my God Gan Ning killed a child, a literal child, a tiny baby boy”. Ok, Hold on. Please.

So modern Chinese gloss I consulted translates this as “廚房的僕人” which just means “kitchen servant”. Yes “兒“ means child but it has so many other meanings especially in a compound like this; and this “child” is not specifically the “under a certain age” form of child.

Moreover, even in English, when we talk about English phrases like “kitchen boy” or (more prominently) “cabin boy” we are not talking about a five year old or even necessarily a ten year old. A 13-16 year old could easily be covered under that phrase in English. So please understand how a Chinese phrase like this could also cover such an age range, and remember also, that in this era, Ling Tong was on the front lines of the battlefield at age ~15 with his father when he died. So the idea of when a kid is fair game to be killed as an enemy is not our own.

So I’m even willing to go with the phrase “kitchen boy” because I feel the original conveys the sense of a minor servant. I’m certainly not going to rule out that the servant was, by modern standards, a child. Gan Ning is doing something really bad here. He knows himself it’s bad, and that’s where it gets the most interesting.

The second point I want to bring up is what it put across in the phrases “On the way back to the boat,” “he hit the drum”, and “ran out barefoot”, which is everything happens so fast. Gan Ning doesn’t even wait to get the servant home; instead, he kills him between Lü Meng’s house and his boat (which presumably was how he traveled to visit Lü Meng). And he does it by tying him to a tree! Not exactly subtle! And then he goes to his boat and just starts chillaxing! When he tells his sailors to lengthen the mooring rope, he’s doing the opposite of trying to run away. If you wanted to get away quickly, you would untie the mooring rope, or at least have it ready to untie fast. But Gan Ning deliberately makes it difficult to escape. And then the story mentions that Gan Ning loosens his clothing, or could even be interpreted as undressing, and that he lies down. Again, is that what you do when you expect to want to get away?

And then we’re back to everything happening so fast: Lü Meng, it seems finds out that the servant is dead very quickly, immediately hits a drum to summon soldiers and just runs out. And when Gan Ning hears this, he doesn’t get up. Now some people interpret this as cowardly, that Gan Ning was hiding from Lü Meng in not getting up to meet him. But if Lü Meng’s mother hadn’t caught him in time, would Lü Meng not have known where he was? No, Lü Meng knew exactly where he was. His boat was still tied to the dock by the mooring rope, and all of Gan Ning’s sailors, remember, would strictly speaking have been under Lü Meng too.

So then Lü Meng gets scolded by his mommy and realizes that he has to let Gan Ning off the hook. And he goes and the way he speaks to Gan Ning, in the original, is so casual and affectionate, which is why I translated it as “my mom’s got food ready”. Now within Chinese culture, as in many cultures, this invitation to food is in itself a mark of affection.

And then we come to the most interesting part of all: the original uses four characters to describe Gan Ning’s crying. Now, Chinese is terse, and classical Chinese is ULTRA terse. These people are not using any more characters than they have to. Yet Chen Shou spend four whole characters to describe that Gan Ning was not only “shedding tears” but “snorting” and “sobbing”. Holy shit. Believe me, if you read a lot of classical Chinese, this rings like a klaxon. The person writing this down thought this was important.

Gan Ning’s motivations throughout all of this are just so opaque. Impulsivity? But it involved a certain amount of planning. Did he want to be punished? Did he have even a death wish? Why was he so fixated on this escaped servant? (The silence of the original text as to what the servant did wrong exacerbates this. It could be almost anything.) Why did he, in some ways, play it so coolly and so arrogantly (the tying to a tree, the lying down half-dressed on a drifting boat), but then suddenly flip to abject, sobbing apology? Was the latter apology as much of a lie as his original promise not to kill the servant was? Or was Gan Ning truly stricken with remorse?

And what do we learn from the story? Utility to the state as a way to escape consequences? Crime and punishment are difficult to separate from personal considerations of revenge and anger? Efficacy of shame based on personal connection over physical attack? Chinese mothers are always right? (It’s that last one, isn’t it.)

So that’s why I had to write my own version. And yes, it’s a version that, while not condoning Gan Ning’s many horrible actions, does portray him as a person sympathetically.

#gan ning #chinese history #pirates #chinese pirates #sanguozhi #my translation #classical chinese #historical revisionism #romance of the three kingdoms #three kingdoms #dynasty warriors #my fanfic

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franeridart · 6 years

Note

I just found your profile and I love your style so much!

AHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!

Anon said:From kami's-hair-is-hard-to-doodle anon from a while back: I finally got it! Thank you so much for your advice - reading and rereading your tips kept me practicing! I'd also like to thank the Academy /orz

I’m glad it could help you at all!!!! :O Kami keeps on being a mystery to me (and Horikoshi himself ???) too so don’t get too down on yourself for it taking time haha

Anon said:Ive sent you a couple of asks before but Im just so in love with the content you produce. Like not only is your art style so cute and stuff, but the plot/story (Idk) of each post is just so original and adorable. Im just so blown away by everything you post. Thank you for sharing your art!!!! Have a good week!!

Anon said:Hi! I’m new to your blog but love your art, I think your very talented which is why I’d like to ask a question. Do you have any advice for posing? I noticed your very good at it and wondered if you have any tips. If you do answer this, Thank you!!

Firstly, thank you so much for the compliments!!! I don’t know how useful exactly any advice I could give you will be, since most of it comes from drawing a lot and watching drawings even more, but in general to pick a pose usually what I do is think of the scene as if in movement? As in, what the characters are doing, and how they’d move if I were looking at them while doing it - keeping in mind the characters personalities helps me with this a lot too.

Take for example the confessions drawings I’ve posted a couple of days ago: it’s true that there’s no words nor movement anywhere in them, but as I drew them I had a pretty clear idea of what they were saying and how the characters would react in those situations - Jirou’s shy and easily flustered, so she’s averting her eyes, unable to keep eye contact, and closing in on herself a bit, hiding her face and so on; in the concept, Kaminari was the one who confessed, so he’s holding her hand, tentative, because he’s unsure about how she’s gonna answer (it’s all stuff that didn’t actually make it in the drawing, how he reached for her hand, how he’s gonna close his other hand around her knuckles, but in my head it was a complete scene and I just picked one frame of it all to draw). The same goes for Bakugou and Kirishima - they’re rowdier, louder, more assertive and inclined to take everything as a fight, so this time around I went for a scene in which Bakugou straight out yells his feelings at Kirishima and Kirishima answers me too (again, I had the before and after in my head too, I just picked the frame that best coveyed what I was trying to do)

As I said I’m usure about how much this might help you orz it’s just my way of doing things, and it mostly comes from the fact that I was originally a writer honestly, so thinking of a whole scene makes things easier for me #rip

Anon said:Can I say, I really like the colors for your confession pictures! :>

THANK YOU??????? H E C K ;O;

Anon said:hi~ i just went through literally everything in your sketches tag and i just wanna say i love your art and your comics and stuff. also because i went through everything, i want to bring attention to how cool it is to see how much your style has changed! your lines seem more confident and your characters more dynamic in the last few years :D

HECK THANK YOU SO MUCH it’s always so damn nice to know people can see my stuff getting even just slightly better oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnn *sob*

Anon said:can we repost your art if we give like 100% credit

Nope, sorry, I’d prefer it if you didn’t do that

Anon said:those "confessions" must be the lewdest thing I've ever seen

why would you use that word tho

Anon said:I just wanted to tell you that I love your art and it always makes me a little happier when you post something! No matter if it's your comics or colored pics or "simple" doodles, I love all of them! (Though soft stuff is the best, hehe) I just hope you know that you're very appreciated, and I hope you only have wonderful days!

GODS THANK YOU SO MUCH I’m so so so happy I can make you a lil happier ;0; I hope you’ll have every possible wonderful day too, anon!!

Anon said:I just spent the last few hours of my Sunday going though your entire blog. It’s beautiful and I hope you know that you have ruined my life because of that beauty. God damn it.

That wasn’t the intention but I’m!!!!!!!!! glad you think so???????? sob oh my g od you all are too nice to me ;^;

Anon said:Tododeku?

It sure is a ship, isn’t it - I’ve drawn for it in the past, I most probably will again in the future! :D

Anon said:you're honestly one of my fav artists on here! i love your style it feels so unique and is so pleasing to look at (((:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M CRYING THANK YOU

Anon said:Your art has this unique quality about it... its really hard to describe but there’s something so dynamic and god damn pretty about your work. It’s fantastic and you inspire me to keep on creating! I hope your day is absolutely wonderful and thank you for blessing us with your art!

I’m!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so glad I can make you want to create stuff, anon!!!!!! that’s the best thing anyone can ever tell me, oh my god ;^; thank you so much !!!

Anon said:I love it when you draw cuddly bakugou!! Its wonderful!!

THAT’S!!!! super great to hear cause I could probably draw only that for the foreseeable future and not mind it one bit holy smoke

Anon said:THE HUG COMICS ARE THE BEST COMICS, I LOVE HUGS AND BAKUGOU BEING PHYSICALLY AFFECTIONATE IS SOMETHING I LOVE, A++++, WOULD RECOMMEND.

HONESTLY BAKUGOU NEEDS ALL THE HUGS AND IF I MUST BE THE ONE TO GIVE THEM ALL TO HIM THEN SO BE IT

Anon said:all ur comics are fucking delightful and make my day everytime. i ve read them all like too many times? i read each multiple times in a row and im still giddy? i love them i love u

I!!!!!!! LOVE YOU TOO???? HOLY SHIT THANK YOU

Anon said:*sigh* soft-phisical contact lover bakugou save my week. And kiri is the most wonderfull sunshine and no one cant discuss that *sit down in the floor and manly crying*

Kiri is the brightest sunshine isn’t he ;^; the sun to Bakugou’s moon, it makes me weak and I cry a lot

Anon said:I never knew I could be so weak for kiribaku omg fran what have you done to me, on that note what little things do you think theyd do to take care of each other? Like kinda lowkey stuff theyd quietly do? Ahh anyway thank you so much for all the wonderful drawings, hope everything is going well for you :)

Well, this is just the feeling I got, but I’d say they do plenty for each other quietly and softly in canon too, don’t they? Bakugou especially, pointing out to Kirishima his strength when he can’t see it for himself and always trying to find a way to cheer him up when he’s down and giving him space when he needs it, training together, studying together, worrying over one another, Kiri making sure to always know what’s up with Bakugou and following him to help him, just generally being there for each other so that if and when they need they’ll know they’ll have someone they can lean on - their relationship is really mutually supportive, isn’t it? I cry so much they make me so happy ;^; *sob*

Anon said:When season 3 comes out wouldnt it be fun if krbk fans filmed their ch.90 being animated reactions?? I think it'd be so cool/cute to see all the emotions! What do you think?

You know, I’m pretty sure that IS gonna happen? People make reaction videos for so many things! It’s nice and fun, honestly, I love it~

Anon said:I really love the way you draw spiky hair! It looks so floofy and soft.

Boi thank you!!!! Spikes are super nice to draw, though admittedly I make them less spiky then they’re probably supposed to be haha

Anon said:As someone who adores Sero Hanta And is a die hard krbk fan can I just say how much I love you? Like I was having a rough-ish day and I can’t stop smiling now because of your latest comic. Seriously, I love you and your art is everything.

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THAT ONE!!!!!!!! I adore Sero if I had any better clue how to draw him I’d draw him all the time always, true story, he’s such a fave ;^;

Anon said:OMG Fran!!! I want Bakugou's name tattooed on all their faces now!! Hahahaha!

You know, one of my first krbk fanarts was Bakugou writing his name on Kirishima’s forehead, actually....................

#fran answers #art tips #sorta??#something similar to it #i tried but you know how it is #i got no actual clue what im doing #lmao #anonymous

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shuaberriez · 2 years

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it's all good! you can answer however you like, long or short! 😅 ttt 2020's drunk karaoke and foot volleyball 😭 esp dRUNK HOSHI LMAO he really looked like he had the time of his life 😩 i think ttt 2020 is also my fave one! LOL it's ok! your moa heart just jumped out 🤟 angel (angle) or devil a bop tho. also yeah! i'm so happy for woozi, he really deserves that award 😭 1/4 secret carat 🎁

aside from svt, i also stan onewe, golden child, day6, verivery, and btob! there are other groups that i listen to occasionally that i don't necessarily follow - like tbz, pentagon, skz, etc. - but i do recognize the members! mostly through osmosis bc of tumblr moots shieglsk 2/4 secret carat 🎁

i hope you don't mind, i looked through your carrd to get inspo for the gift at the end, so i caught a glimpse of the groups that you stan 😅 although! i'd still love to hear about the other groups that you like - esp if there are some that you didn't include in the carrd~ 3/4 secret carat 🎁

OMG i love that 4/5 of your top 5 are svt 👀👌 oh man, the svt ballads really hit hard tho 🥺 ballads in general too, perfect songs to cry to ahgielk i actualy switched to yt music this year, but it was mostly bc i got a new phone that had a discount on yt music 😅 maybe next year i'll go back to spotify! so, sorry i can't give an answer :< also were the numbers a reference to jun's birthday LOL in that case! what are your 30th, 12th, 95th, 15th, 6th, 96th, and 10th 👀 4/4 secret carat 🎁

hiiiiiii i'm so sorry to get back to you so late ajdjdnjksdnj my social energy was in its flop era for a little bit hjsnsfj but it's back now!! <3 i hope you're well!

DRUNK HOSHI WAS SO CHAOTIC HE WAS SO FUNNY </3 i think that was when he became one of my ults. i just knew jnesfdjknfd. the ttts are always my favourite bc they're just vibing and having fun !! PLSDKKSDFMKDSF yeah omg i haven't had txt brainrot in a while </3 angel or devil is really quality (as are all their songs <3)

OMGGGGG i've heard of all those groups but i only really stan day6 </3 what got you into those groups omg? ahhh i see i see!! yeah tumblr mutuals really do help you get to know other groups hehe <3 i'm also a casual stan of tbz and pentagon ^^

OMG YEAH THAT'S COMPLETELY FINE LMAO this has actually reminded me to re-do it now that i have time <3 other than svt, i stan skz, itzy, txt (it'd be funny if i forgot them :sob:), and nct (predominantly dream biased!). tbh i got into skz back in 2019 from watching a crack video of the aussie line </3 jesnfdjkfnsd

i think i got into itzy because of ryujin's performance of boss at an awards show last year? she's just so!! cool!! honestly </3

re txt, i've stanned them since pre-debut!! they're probably one of the most chaotic groups i stan </3 the things they say are just... ridiculous but i love them for it jsjknd

and nct!! i actually started stanning them last year during nct 2020!! just... jaemin and his interactions with the other members is what drew me in lmao nsefj

RIGHT OMGGGG but also the man who writes them *cough cough* woozi *cough cough* LIKE WHO HURT HIM KSFDNJKDSFN he sings those songs like he's gone through like 20 divorces, 6 lawsuits and has lost custody of the kids </3 what's your favourite genre that svt have done omg? and favourite song, and favourite mv hehe

and omg fair!! i only have spotify bc the student discount is giving me premium for v v cheap <3 and yes they were <3

OH okay!!

30: my youth - nct dream

12: pretty lips - winehouse

95: baby i love you - pentagon

15: fever - enhypen

6: anti-romantic - txt

96: one day - skz

10: you can stay - skz

i have a random question for you this time hehe <3 if you could describe yourself using any genre of music, what would you choose? and if you could go anywhere in the world rn (forget about current events and travel restrictions), where would you go?

#sorry this is so late omg #ask ria!#secret carat 🎁

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mysme-hcs · 6 years

Text

RFA Favorite Disney + Pixar Movies

no one probably cares but i love tangled & the pixar short films the best 😂💞 I know this prompt is kind of overdone but here’s my take on it

Zen:

-okay so someone actually sent us in a request about Zen being in the Lion King musical but the more I read about it the more I realize he’d love it so much?

-He’s not thrilled about the lion part since they’re CATS but he loves the story and all the music!!!

-he also ran away from his home and just relates a lot to Simba, sometimes for absolutely no reason?? He just loves him a lot

-Simba: *breathes* Zen: haha wow me too, what a coincidence

-will beat anyone to the ground if they say anything bad about The Hunchback of Notre Dame or the Lion King

-I don’t know anything about Hercules but since everyone says he’d like it: since the news was announced that there might be a Hercules musical, he was so confused yet flattered since all of his fans (and even non-fans??) kept tagging him in “Who would you like to see as Hercules” polls. That prompted him to see the movie and oh my God!!! he loves it so much!!!!

-he starts working out twice as hard and aspires to be as strong as Hercules honestly

-besides that he loves the Bug Life movie and he doesn’t even know why. Just…to him it’s a grade A classic. What The Actual Heck™, Hyun.

Jaehee:

-she stans the Little Mermaid okay do not fight me on this

-she has seen every single one of the movies (and sometimes compares Jumin to Ursula. Jumin once found a drawing of him dressed as Ursula after a meeting and ended up cancelling a massive business deal bc he thought they drew it as an insult to him)

-she loves all of the songs and even has some merch: a travel mug, a necklace, and a cute lil shirt

-she will barge into Hot Topic and fight through crowds of the emo kids begging their parents to get them Pierce the Veil shirts if it means she gets her LM items. tag urself im the emo kid Like, y'all don’t even understand? She’s used to playing dirty to get Zen tickets and merch, she knows how to get what she wants

-and that’s scary as fuck please stay out of her way

-also sometimes she gets drunk and sobs while watching Bambi. It’s vvv cute 10/10

Vanderwood:

-I don’t see him as a Disney guy honestly

-BUT

-he would 100% be down for the Mulan soundtrack

-listens to “I’ll make a man out of you” while he exercises oops

-insists it’s good uh, motivation

-vanderwood, taking a long drag of his cigarette: “no no, you don’t understand. Being swift as a coursing river totally makes sense. The water moves from one spot to another without splashing or running off course, that’s how we should aspire to be. Getting where we need to go without fucking up. Think about how tough a raging fire is, how there’s only a few things that’ll put it out before it destroys everything in its path-” OKAY WE GET IT

-Seven found out and insists Vanderwood needs a girl worth fighting for LMAO

Jumin:

-we’re just,,,all gonna collectively agree that Jumin likes the Aristocats

-no explanation needed

Yoosung:

-he stans Frozen and considers it the best Disney movie ??? what a disgrace smh……..sorry frozen fans

-lowkey thinks Anna is cute as hell and it’s the movie that makes him cry the hardest

-probably thinks Olaf is the best thing ever that’s,,,,,,,extremely cursed

-besides that, he adores Ratatouille!!! He’s probably tried to make all of the food in it because it looks amazing? God he wishes he has a cooking rat of his own. Well, maybe if it came without the hair pulling and biting

-Colette scares him sometimes tho oops bfhwndiwnej

Saeyoung:

-he likes a few Disney movies (Peter Pan, Aladdin) but he likes Pixar the best!!!

-unironically stans the Cars franchise because come on, there’s a reason why he has a red sports car.

-you know he laughs and cries during the Cars movies. It’s a tradition for him to pop massive quantities of popcorn n watch all the movies 3 times a month. He also talks during them and it’s so annoying???

-he loves Lightning McQueen so much that he locked himself in his room cryin when he saw he possibly died in the new trailer definitely uses his hacking skills to find out whether or not he’s alive or dead

-anyway, if you think he has race tracks set up in the hallway and motorized race cars modeled after the Cars characters, you’re completely right

-makes Saeran take Mater everytime they play with them together

-and he raises his kids on Cars too, they literally come out of the womb quoting the movies

-also loves The Incredibles (MC WHERE’S MY SUPERSUIT). Edna is his absolute favorite and he’s got the hots for that one hot blond girl me too

-he also calls u the eve to his wall-e oh boy

Saeran:

-Aladdin is okay in his opinion but he, much like his twin, prefers Pixar movies!

-Finding!!!! Nemo!!!!

-it distresses him a lil bit at the more intense parts but he’s seen the movies so many times

-he felt choked up during Piper me 2 I started sobbing 30 seconds in because it’s so pure and makes him so happy

-he also loves Monsters Inc and would trade Randall to Satan for a crumb, he cannot stand him

Jihyun:

-he’ll watch any of them if you’d like, but he has to admit he’s quite partial towards Sleeping Beauty

-the whole story is just so beautiful?

-but besides that he also loves the Pixar short films!!! He’s seen them all 8382789 times

-Geri’s Game and Knick Knack are his faves

-always cries and holds you tighter during Up. At first he used to try and hide it but….yeah it’s pretty hard not to cry during that movie at least once

#mystic messenger #jumin han #saeran choi #saeyoung choi #disney #jaehee kang #yoosung kim #zen #hyun ryu #mystic messenger zen #headcanon #mystic messenger headcanon #admin molly

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ohstardust · 7 years

Text

You Matter To Me

REQUEST: from @outofworkactress You're gonna kill me I can just feel the anger radiating off the phone but would you maybe do a little something where y/n just feels safe with Aneurin and she hadn't really felt that way before, her brother having verbally abused her growing up and Ni's just so nice and keeps her safe A/N: I became way too involved in this and I finally brought angst back into my writing (where have you been my dear old friend?). Karma is a bitch, Gabs. Also, I couldn’t resist using this song. Title: You Matter To Me by Sara Bareilles & Jason Mraz (Alt: Jessie Mueller & Drew Gehling. That’s my personal fave version) My Aneurin playlist can be found on Spotify (this is what I listen to when I write about him and songs that are featured in fics about him) (x)

I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes They've seen things that you never quite say, but I hear It’s hard to really trust someone, no matter how important they are to you, once you’ve had your confidence shattered and every horrible term under the sun thrown at you. It was something Y/N knew all too well. She was nineteen when she first met Aneurin, and quite frankly he couldn’t have come into her life at a better time. Her romantic relationship had dissolved nine days prior to their meet and she was a wreck. It seemed she’d made a colossal mistake with that one.

Aneurin had brought light to the darkness of her life and made her smile, even if it was just for one evening. He’d vanished after that night in the university library and she didn’t see him again until she was pushing twenty-three. He hadn’t changed all that much aside from his face slimming a little and his features were more pronounced. They’d vowed to themselves after that study night that, if they were to ever meet again, they wouldn’t let the other go. They’d had an intermittent relationship over the remaining few years thanks to busy schedules, careers fully taking off and a change in geographical locations. But they had a friendship that would defy everything thrown their way regardless. Over the past year or so, they’d become close friends. She’d encountered a few more snakes in terms of relationships and it felt like one bad omen after another. Y/N had confided in Ni about her appalling track record and the verbal abuse she’d received in her younger years, it felt like punishment for something she wasn’t aware she’d committed. The moment he heard, he’d promised himself to never stop trying to make her see her worth. Not until his last breath.

Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you And I'll stay there as long as you let me “I’m such a fucking joke, Ni,” she sobbed. She’d gone beyond the anger stage at this point, her photos of him had been torn apart and everything he’d bought her had found its way into the bin. What was the point in trying to be happy if it wasn’t meant to happen? Aneurin leant against the doorframe and had watched her during her outburst, letting her hash out her anger. That he could deal with. What he couldn’t deal with was her head buried in her fists and her shoulders shaking as her heart broke yet again. He was angry at that bastard, he was hurting for her, his own heart breaking as he saw her in pain. Aneurin felt useless. He pulled himself from his slouched position and knelt before her, his hands pulled at hers and clasped them in his own forcing her to lift her head, “Don’t you ever say that again, you hear me?” Y/N took one look into his eyes and broke down further. She shook her head and continued to avoid his gaze, she didn’t want to see how much upset she’d caused him by what she believed to be her own stupidity. “Why else would I let them walk all over me?” her voiced lowered further until she whispered, “Why would I allow myself to be hurt when it’s already inevitable? Why don’t I stop it before it gets that far?” “Because you want to believe it’ll be better this time.” Y/N’s weakly laughed and glanced at the man on the floor, her eyes looked tired, “but it never is, is it?” “It’s not your failing, Y/N, you’ve done nothing wrong.” He tried to smile at her and lighten her spirits, to reassure her but he feared it had come out more as a grimace. “Then who’s is it, Ni?!” her voice raised and Aneurin startled at the change, “If I’m not the problem then who is?” “These vile men that think it’s acceptable to treat you like this,” he spat, absolutely furious that she saw herself as the one to blame when all she did was date the wrong men. “He told me this would happen, he told me I was worthless and that no one would ever really love me, I just didn’t want to believe him.” Aneurin felt sick as soon as she referenced that poor excuse of a sibling of hers, the one person who destroyed her before anyone else. His hands gripped her cheeks softly but commanding her full attention, adamant that now was the time to make her see what he saw in her, how truly incredible she was and how loved she was. Y/N’s eyes closed, she felt defeated and tired and so sick of feeling like she was so much lower than everybody else. “You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met, and I’m not just telling you this because I want to cheer you up, I’m saying it because I honest to god mean it. That night in the library, where we told each other our deepest secrets, thinking we’d never meet again, was the best night of my life. Everything is so much better when you’re there, every happy memory I have seems to involve you somewhere, whether it’s because you were physically there, or because I knew I could call you and just hear your voice. You’re the bright star, my angel. Everything he brainwashed you into thinking for all those years was wrong, all horrific lies, Y/N. I know it doesn’t feel like it, I know you think the world is against you, you have every reason to, but I love you so very much and nothing can put a stop to that. I’m sorry I haven’t protected you enough, I’m sorry I failed to stop you hurting, but I promise I’ll do better, I promise to make you happier with life. I’ll do anything to make you smile, yeah?” Her eyes were still closed but her smile had risen and for a moment she felt like she was floating. “You honestly mean all that?” “Every. Single. World.” He pressed kisses to her cheeks in unison with every word. “Will you sing for me?” he kissed her forehead and nodded, then stood up to take a seat beside her. Her head rested on his shoulder and he stroked her hair to keep her calm, it always comforted her and he swallowed hard in realisation that he knew so much more about her than he ever realised. Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me I promise you do, you, you matter too I promise you do, you see? You matter to me Just like he knew her favourite songs and her love for musicals, the ones that make her ridiculously happy and the ones that make her sad, the way they make her feel. Most of all, he knew how to love her. She joined in with a whisper, her throat sore and weak, but she wanted to share this with him. She wanted everything with him. It's addictive the minute you let yourself think The things that I say just might matter to someone All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away And for the first time I think I'd consider the stay Because you matter to me And as he sang the beautiful and heart-warming song to her, she lifted her head to look at him once more, and that’s when she realised that he meant every word he was singing. She really did matter to him, and yes, he really did love her. She realised that nothing had ever made her feel as safe as Aneurin had, nothing gave her more comfort than him, nothing made her feel so bright in her darkest moments than he did. You matter to me I promise you do, you, you matter too I promise you do, you see? You matter to me

#aneurin barnard imagine #aneurin barnard #aneurin barnard x reader #dunkirk imagine #dunkirk cast #dunkirk imagines #waitress the musical #you matter to me

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ifyouvegotenoughnerve · 6 years

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Against All Odds Part 4: Changing Tides

Ginny and Neville share a conversation after Dumbledore's funeral.

FFN | Ao3

Note: Part 4 finally written. Some lil mentions of Hinny, but mostly Ginny and Neville being my fave friends. Canonically, the students board the Hogwarts Express immediately after Dumbledore's funeral, so technically this day never happened. However I've always imagined this scene between Ginny and Neville and thought of it as a turning point in their friendship before the bulk of the war, so for my sake, it did :)

The sun came through the windows of the Gryffindor tower mockingly bright. Clouds hung in the air like they had each been crafted by hand then tossed up to sit as puffs full of soft string while a breeze whispered through the newly budding trees and across the blades of regrown grass. These were the types of days they would halt revising for a moment to spend the afternoon lounging by the Black Lake, waving back at the Giant Squid when it splashed. It certainly didn’t look like Death Eaters had invaded the castle just a few days ago, or like a funeral was held yesterday.

It ought to be raining, Ginny thought bitterly. Storming . She felt it ought to be the ugliest day she had ever seen but as she stared out from her spot at a table in the Common Room, she saw just the converse. It reminded her of one of those fleeting moments of tranquility she had spent with- no . She wasn’t thinking about that right now.

She had found a surprisingly quiet moment in the Common Room. Aside from Arnold tucked quietly against her neck, she sat alone. Everyone else had either made their way down to breakfast or had no intents of waking before noon. Ginny felt neither like eating nor sleeping. Dreams came vivid with whispers of voices from her past since the battle, as if her mind wasn’t too restless anyways. She didn’t feel like sitting at the Great Hall across from Harry, avoiding eye contact the whole breakfast and hearing the awkward mumblings they’d make when they accidentally brushed hands reaching for more jam. She didn’t want to deal with Ron and Hermione’s knowing glances. Hermione’s cautious inquisitions, Ron’s ignorant babbling. The undeniable air of tension that held thicker than the clouds outside which didn’t exist this time yesterday.

You knew. You knew it wouldn’t last. And you’re stupid for letting yourself think that just for a second you’re living in one of those Muggle fairytales Hermione told you about. Your life has never been anything of the sort. Time to wake up.

It didn’t mean she didn’t understand. It also didn’t mean it wouldn’t sting. This one stung a lot. A lot more than cutting it off with Michael or Dean. And Ginny hated that. She wasn’t supposed to feel all caught up on a stupid boy she said she’d let go of years ago. And yet she did.

“Not at breakfast?” The voice came from the steps to the boys’ dormitory.

“Not hungry.”

“But you’re not still in bed?”

“Can’t sleep.”

Ginny pulled her head from the window to see Neville’s sandy hair now sitting directly across from her. He had a gruesome gash across his lip that was still healing and she knew from the uneven sounds of his steps his knee probably required an extra day of rest in the hospital wing, not that Neville would ever take it.

“You’re not at breakfast,” she commented.

“Not hungry.”

“But not still in bed?” Her lips turned up into a slight, wry smile.

“Can’t sleep.” Neville’s did the same.

Ginny’s head turned back to the window and their smiles fell, the moment gone. A crane flew over the lake with its feet just skimming the water to disrupt the glossy reflection and leave a path trailing behind it. With the exception of the occasional breeze rustling branches and birds chirping, the grounds held a silent tranquility as if someone had cast a spell over the entirety of Hogwarts.

“It seems insulting. The weather ought to know we’re all grieving. Awfully indecent, if you ask me.”

Neville let out a half-hearted snort. “I’m not quite sure that’s how the weather works, Gin. It was like this yesterday.”

“Indecent,” Ginny muttered again.

They sat in silence for a long time. Ginny, with her eyes on the peaceful grounds below them, her hand occasionally lifting to stroke Arnold. Neville, with his focus on an etching in the table that had been there for probably thirty years. The first letter was a clear ‘M’, but the rest were relatively indistinguishable from years that had worn them down.

“He cut it off.” She didn’t know where the words came from, but it felt like they tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“What?” Neville’s fingers stopped tracing over the timeworn letters and his head lifted to meet Ginny’s eyes.

She stayed quiet for a long moment again, her eyes drifting back towards the window. She drew in a deep breath, finding her throat surprisingly tight as she swallowed. “Harry ended it. Yesterday. But I reckon you already knew that.”

“I didn’t.”

Silence again.

“I actually don’t think he’s told anyone, Gin. To be frank, I’ll bet he’s avoiding dealing with Ron’s wrath. We’d all have known, just from that alone. Merlin knows the whole dormitory’s intolerable when one’s mad at the other.” Neville kept his voice soft, sensitive. She could tell he was trying to lighten the situation but she didn’t feel much in the mood for it.

“Pff. As if Ron would care. He’d drop me in a heartbeat if he had to choose between me and Harry.” Ginny let her eyes momentarily leave the window to meet Neville’s before promptly returning to their place.

“That’s not one bit true. You might not know it from the way he acts around you, but he cares a whole lot about you. He talks about you all the time. Harry’s his best mate, but I reckon he’d drop him in a heartbeat if it came down to it. You know how important family is to Ron.”

Ginny merely rolled her eyes in response. She kept them fixated on the window until she felt Neville’s hand softly grabbing hers, demanding her attention.

“Hey.” His voice came out hardly above a whisper and his eyes stared at her all too kindly, with too much understanding. “I’m sorry. I know how happy he made you.”

Ginny’s neck snapped towards the window and her teeth nibbled hard on her lip, but it was too late. Her eyes had already started brimming with water, her throat even tighter than it was moments ago. It took Neville hardly a second to shift to the seat beside her and cradle her head into his chest.

They weren’t dramatic, heaving sobs, but rather soft sniffles and occasional tight breaths. Still, this was the first time she’d cried, really cried, since it all happened. Ginny wasn’t one to let herself be vulnerable. She didn’t cry , not like this, and certainly not in front of people. Not since her first year.

Arnold hopped off her shoulder and replaced Ginny’s eyes by sitting on the windowsill. Her arms wrapped around Neville in return and for just this moment, she let him see her like this and let him comfort her. They sat like that until her sniffles grew less and less frequent and her tears no longer dampened Neville’s shirt. When Ginny lifted her head to wipe her nose and mouth with her sleeve, Neville let out a small chortle.

“What?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just- I think you might be the least ugly crier I have ever seen.”

Ginny responded with a harsh smack to Neville’s arm.

“What!” He cried, pouting as he rubbed the spot she just hit.

Her head fell to rest on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around hers. “You’re full of shit, is all,” she grinned up at him. Neville shook his head with an eye roll in response, but let the topic slide for now.

“It’s- I understand. Why he did it, I mean. I get it, I really do. I just wish he didn’t feel like he had to,” Ginny whispered. Neville’s hand gave her shoulder a small squeeze.

“I don’t think it was easy for him Gin, I really don’t. I don’t think you realize just how happy you made him. And trust me, I’ve lived with Harry for six years. He’s not exactly a pleasant bloke to be around sometimes. But these past few weeks he’s been with you- I swear. He’s not his typical, moody self. He’s, well, happy . He’s nicer and doesn’t snap at people and Merlin, I think he sometimes hums when he gets up in the morning.” Neville chuckled.

It did make her smile, just the tiniest bit. “I saw it coming. I think- I think I’ve known it was coming for a long time, really. It was foolish of me to think it would last.”

Neville frowned. “Gin, what you two have is special. I’ve never- I’ve never seen anything like it before. The way you two laugh at each other is absolutely revolting and he gets this dumb, glossy-eyed look when he’s watching you- oh yeah, he watches you all the time. Has been for months. Not when you’re doing anything special, just sitting, writing, revising. All. The. Time. And you always seem to know what the other is thinking and feeling without saying a word- it’s bloody weird I’m telling you. But… I guess what I’m trying to say is, you mean just as much to him as he does to you. And what you and Harry have is something unique that I’m not sure everyone finds. So at the end of all of this, whatever that might mean, I have a feeling you’ll find each other. I really do.”

Ginny smiled sadly at Neville. She thought on this for a while. Maybe Neville was right. The optimist in her liked to believe that he was, but the cynic that always prevailed in times like these told her not to get caught up in such nonsense.

“Things are going to be different now, aren’t they,” she murmured, though it wasn’t much of a question. There was no doubt things would be changing. They all knew it. Maybe they’d seen it coming for ages, but Ginny felt they were all too wrapped up in those brief moments of happiness to remember what loomed ahead until it actually came. There would be no more games now. No more lounging in the sun by the Black Lake, no more giggling behind tapestries late at night. A war was upon them. It was time they started acting like it.

“McGonagall will take over, no doubt. I’ll bet she runs a tight ship,” Neville mused.

“With our luck, we’ll end up somehow having Snape as Headmaster,” Ginny snorted.

Neville pulled away from her, eyes wide. “Don’t even joke about that! Can you imagine something worse? That man has hated me before I even stepped foot in his classroom. Probably because it took too long for the Sorting Hat to sort me,” he muttered. They both fell into giggles, and for that moment, despite it all things felt almost alright again.

“Yes, Gin. Things are going to be very different. But we’ll take them on like we always do. And we’ll make it through, and Voldemort will be gone, and you and Harry will live happily ever after. Even if it’s against all odds. Alright?” Neville had a surprisingly optimistic grin on his face as he squeezed Ginny’s shoulder once again. It was probably one of the things she loved most about Neville. Even if he didn’t always see the bright side for himself, he always seemed to find it for others.

“Alright. Even if it’s against all odds,” she grinned back. The puffiness of her eyes was still there but the blotchiness in her cheeks had faded and the tightness in her throat had loosened up to a point where it didn’t feel like she was swallowing a rock every time she took a breath. Neville stood up and so did Ginny, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

“C’mon, let’s go get some breakfast before it’s all gone.”

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frankensteindotpdf · 7 years

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All of them

FUCK I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS CRAP AHHH

Who’s your crush/squish?

I......tend to have a couple at a time (go unreciprocation whoop whoop) anyhoo the main one is this girl who is SUPER CUTE AND HAS THE CUTEST LAUGH AND IS LOWKEY EMO AND JUST BRILLIANT TBH and fun fact she’s the one who made me realise I’m bi! annnnd there’s a guy....who I just realised I have a crush on....like yesterday....and I’m dying a little

Who’s your fictional crush/squish?

Hahahahahahaha that talks like there’s one.....Remus obviously...Tonks....Dean Winchester...Jughead .....Rapunzel.....Duke Crocker from Haven (holy crap bro).....I used to have a crush on Klaus Baudelaire and also Yo-Yoji (shut up Carina)..... massive squish on Sherlock Holmes....and more I’m forgetting

Worst joke you’ve ever told?

Crap bro my life is full of stupid jokes I can’t choose one

Worst insult you’ve ever given?

Just really dumb ones, nothing specific

Got any weird kinks?

not any weird ones

How did you find out about sex?

No idea, probably like parents or sex ed classes? I don’t remember

Trashiest thing in your wardrobe?

Literally none? I mean I have trash like a billion HP t shirts but nothing revealing or anything

Worst Phobia?

Needles. I literally cry everytime.

Hentai or the real thing?

Ew neither thanks

Ever been arrested?

lol i never go outside no

What are you most selfish about?

This question is worded weird....uh my..sketchbooks? maybe? like I don’t really get the q but I never let anyone draw in my sketchbooks so ig that counts?

Who would you let die if given the chance to save them?

Myself

Who would you sacrifice yourself for?

Anyone

Something silly you believed as a kid?

Well I didn’t think “washcloth” was a real term, for some reason (I have literally no idea why) I thought it was just a word my family used but they were really called something else. I mean washcloth is so... on the nose

Weirdest/most embarassing thing you’ve drawn?

I once.....drew a picture....of my crush.....with a stupid nickname above it....and little hearts....and little pics of the stuff he liked.... UGH I CRINGE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I WAS IN GRADE 2 DONT JUDGE ME

Controversial role models?

I can’t think of any?

Cringiest fandom you’ve been in?

for like A MONTH I was into... Justin Bieber.

Cringiest thing you’ve shipped?

Trans Gilderoy Lockhart and Snape

Ever had “an accident” in public?

I mean when I was real little I did once after school but like no one was there besides my family so it wasn’t a big deal

What helps you fall asleep?

Honestly watching Bob Ross. He’s just so soothing

What childish things do you still do?

I dunno man...Lots I just can’t think of anything specific

What’s your age?

A HEATHERS SONG AND THE YEAR A WIZARD COMES OF AGE

Grossest thing you’ve eaten?

Some people would say crickets (they tasted great though) I would personally say (not eating but) gargling salt water. I literally threw up. Thanks, father.

Honest opinion on religion?

I definitely like the idea and totally respect other’s beliefs, but I’m still working it out. I mean I know mine pretty darn well but the more I learn the more it just sounds really convienient idk

What does your laugh sound like?

From being told to shut up so much it’s changed a lot....It’s kinda squeaky but mostly silent? I’m a bit self concious about it tbh

How would you describe your smile?

stupid. it scrunches up my face all wrong and makes me look even fatter than I already do

Did you go through any regrettable phases?

“Liking” music everyone else liked to fit in

Ever dropped plans/projects and not said a word?

Not one-on-one stuff (though social anxiety makes me want to every time) but like I guess? nothing noteworthy

Intovert/Extrovert?

INTROVERT

Personality Type?

INFP

Ugliest thing in your wardrobe?

I have this nightgown that I never wear that looks like something out of an 1800s movie...floral pattern and all

Would you wear pajama’s in public?

If I was with friends who were

Weirdest thing that turned you on?

uhhhh I have no idea

Pineapples on pizza????

hecc yes

Do you use the XD emoticon?

Only in an ironic way

Do you have a dark sense of humour?

yup

Worst thing you ship?

Ms. Frizzle and Brendon Urie

Top or bottom?

Oh I cant believe I’m answering this on the internet gosh well from my personality I’d say...bottom

Top or bottom bunk?

Also bottom because I feel like I’ll fall off or break the top bunk

Pettiest thing you’ve cried over?

Dude I cry over everything...My sister said she’d rip one of my books

Pettiest thing you’ve gotten mad over?

Bro again like I usually get upset at myself rather than mad at other people but like at my family basically everything?

Longest time you’ve cried?

lol well multiple times I’ve cried for a few hours straight, I cried through an entire movie once (I’m not evenexaggerating I had to pause it because I was sobbing too hard literally 5 times)

Do you touch the art in museums?

NO THAT CAN WRECK IT AND I COULD GET IN TROUBLE

Do you have a fandom OC?

Kinda? I mean just self-inserts tbh

How much do you believe in astrology?

not at all

Have you ever used a base for drawing?

I mean I’ve copied them down but not traced

Have you ever used MSPaint for drawing non-ironically?

yup. there was a time when I had a laptop and sucked at drawing so when I got bored I’d draw on MSPaint

Controversial opinion?

I’m a feminist and I think everyone should be

Ass or chest?

I hate answering this I’m just gonna do it quickly and get it over with female ass, male chest

Chest or genitals?

chest

Genitals or ass?

I HATE THESE I HAVE NO IDEA OK

Any scars?

Yup. I have one on my arm from burning myself while baking in grade 8, and two others on the inside (of the same arm haha) that are from somehow managing to hit my arm off a staple sticking out of an old recliner

Do you pirate anything?

Only music for animatics, but even then only songs I’ve already bought but cant transfer. I don’t see the point. The artists I like I don’t just like for their music (or movies or whatever), I like them as people too. I want to thank them for making such awesome stuff, so a little donation is totally reasonable to me

url for an old cringy social media account?

I mean this one? I wasnt allowed to have social media when I was younger so yay none of that

Any post’s you’ve deleted and why?

Only ones I accidentally reblogged onto my art blog, but I always reblog them onto my main first

How long does it take you to get up in the morning?

depends. if I have nothing to do, hours. If I have school, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour (I set my alarm real early)

What will instantly turn you on?

idk man nothing really...someone being good with kids is always sweet tho

Fave eye+hair colour combination?

Nothing specific, I like basically all colours?

Have you already named your future children?

If I have any they will be named after someone in one of my billions of fandoms (probably someone from hp)

Do you do drugs?

Just Ibuprofen amirite lol even then I am in pain way more than I take it I hate swallowing pills

How tall are you?

about 5′5 or 5′6

Did you go through a “RANDOM XD” phase?

yup

Dumbest thing you believed?

No idea, probably something from when I was little but idk

Dildo of choice? (besides an actual dildo)

boi i’m not even coming near this question (get it?)

Daddy kink?

I mean I find it hot when some people say it? but not really

Who could change your sexuality just by looking at you?

I’m...bi....so like.....no one? I’m confused mate there’s no way to answer this question

Bara/Yaoi/Shota?

none tbh i dont even know what 2/3 of those mean

What area’s of your body are most sensitive?

besides the obvious my knees, stomach, back, neck....okay everything I just hate people touching me thanks oh and my feet oh gosh I got a pedicure once and it was the worst experience of my life

Weirdest dream you’ve had?

A bunch man, once I had a dream where Peeta was transformed by the Capitol or smth to look like one of my friends and he was also heavily drugged and at my school for some reason and I was trying to help him get to safety....I had a dream where my family and I lived in a trailer park and our neighbour had a big dog that attacked my little brother, first by biting and then picking up a stick with its paws and beating him with it....one where my friend tried to touch my stomach and i panicked, punched him in the face, and then had a panic attack because I felt so bad

THANK GOSH THAT’S OVER

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ca-3 · 7 years

Note

For the honesty hour thing: So, how did you fall in love with Sakuya, and want attracts you to his character? Im interested in this!

Lol girl did I ever tell you that I love you?

It took me awhile to answer this because I needed to collect my thoughts about it. AHAHA TAKE A SEAT EVERYONE. Okay gosh where to begin….. THIS IS LIKE THE INTERVIEW I WAS WAITING FOR. HA.

Well, as some people know I wasn’t extremely fond of Sakuya when I first started Servamp about….7-8 months ago? I didn’t hate him or anything, just didn’t really care for him at first. (but that kinda goes for quite a bit of characters really, but everyone grows on me at some point. ^^)

I think what really got to me was after learning about his past and how it affected his motives, relationships and current situation in the series.

So many aspects about his characters just make so much sense but I feel like are just kinda looked over……. probably cause his backstory was kinda glazed over real quick, in my opinion at least. (Like why dammit? I have so many questions still, this series can’t do this to me.) It just really kills me inside, especially the more I thought about it and the more I think about his character.

I’m gonna kinda express some of my new random thoughts on his past , cause this intrigues me oddly: (Kinda theory time right now whoooo) AND ALL IS WHAT GIVE ME SO MANY FEELINGS MY GOSH.

Just thinking about the extent of the abuse he must’ve suffered is something that really boggles my mind…… We know it went on for years, those 6 years before his “death” and then probably a few more before that obviously, when his sister was still alive. Who’s knows how long she had to endure it though? She was much older, Sakuya was about 9 at the time, and she appeared to be High School (or maybe Middle School can’t really tell with the uniform.)

She was also the one covered in bandages after all, and we couldn’t see any visible scars or injuries on Sakuya. So she obviously took all the beatings so he wouldn’t have too most likely but after when she died I’m sure things got worse for poor little Sakuya.

But this is my other biggest thing about the abuse he went through…

How come he never tried running away?

We all know his parents threatened to do the same thing to him as they did to his older sister, but could he really not just try and leave before anything happened? Maybe not until he got a bit older.. but still….

Was his parents that controlling? I doubt his parents even cared enough to hunt him down if he did run away…. So why didn’t he try? Did they really keep him that locked in? Its so hard for me to imagine him being and feeling that hopeless, did he have zero fight inside him?

It’s hard to imagine him not fighting back in the slightest. But he could have been a very different person back when he was human too, of course. Maybe more meek and submissive… again who knows. (To be honest, I am extremely curious about to what most of the vampires characters were like before they were vampires and who and what they did before as well.

But anyway, do you think Sakuya put up with it…

Because it was ALSO a loyalty thing??!? I’m making no jokes here. Hear me out, even if he hated his parents(I’m sure he did obviously, even though he never explicitly said he did, because we had Tsubaki tell his story, and not Sakuya.)

Do you think he never tried running away or whatever, because he just felt like he just couldn’t? Like he was betraying something? Maybe not his parents, just because “They are my parents…. whether I like it or not. I have to listen to them…”

But maybe because of his sisters death? Like he felt like he had to endure it like she did for him?? I mean…. he was told:

“You don’t want your sister’s death to be a waste, right?”

YOU GUYS GET WHAT I AM SAYING HERE RIGHT? History can repeat itself….

(This boy is gonna kill me with his conflicted ass)

Maybe there wasn’t actually much physical abuse doing those years… Maybe at least for as long as he did what they said and stayed out of their way and kept their secret. But I kinda already talked about this part in a post about what I think happened to his parents after he became a vampire. (I am very sensitive about this topic alright?)

We know they killed his sister so they could get insurance money(ughh so sickening) but did they really try to kill Sakuya for more money? They would only be two people at that point…… so that’s why a part of me is like, “there’s gotta be a greater reason.” The best conclusion I came up with was “They killed him because maybe he tried to TELL someone.”

Think about it. Sakuya hates lies, he had to lie his whole life basically. He takes it very serious and to heart. WE KNOW THIS.

We know he only kept it a secret because he was threatened and didn’t want his sister’s death to be in vain…. But maybe he eventually cracked under all the pressure… And maybe tried speaking about it or was planning too and then… That was also the day he died…… Damn…. I just stabbed myself in the heart.

So yes, his past is a big factor on why I found him so interesting initially when I was new to this fandom/series, I was really hoping we would see his past elaborated a bit or learn more and see what he does and how on earth Mahiru was gonna “save him.”

I could go on and on about these two as well. Not in a shippy way…. but friendship or romantic, considering his past it makes sense to why he’s attached to Mahiru. Again in another post where I “defended his character” I guess you could say, I talked about how Sakuya’s “screwed up friendship methods” and how he really dug himself into a hole. -__- But I was saying its almost hard to blame him for going about the way he did. BECAUSE IT JUST MAKES SENSE SADLY.

Sakuya is a real lonely and distant kinda guy. After he sister died I’m sure he didn’t have much light in his life then. No one to talk too, no one who understood. No one who loved him. I’m sure growing up during those 6 years he was probably afraid to get close to anyone. What was school like for him then…. did he really have no friends at all for 6 years? It’s crazy to think about right? His childhood was anything but normal….

But then he received a “second chance” after Tsubaki found him and I’m sure Mahiru’s kind-hearted nature really drew him in, it’s not wrong for him to really want a friend, yeah he did go the complete wrong way about it, but unfortunately lies and deceit is all he knew how to do. He found some light in his life, and he was willing to do anything to hold on to that for as long as he could. Also HE KILLS ME because he regretted lying to Mahiru so much and did all the awful things he did/said, BECAUSE HE WAS HOPING MAHIRU WOULD HATE HIM and have his Servamp KILL HIM because he felt that was the only way to apologize for everything. and BOIII did that really kill me. AND THEN MAHIRU FORGAVE HIM STILL and now look at where he is with his conflicted loyalty….

YOU SEE WHERE I AM COMING FROM AVI!?!? AHHHH.

-inhales- ALSO ONE THING I NEED TO GET OFF MY CHEST BECAUSE THIS REALLY BOTHERS ME. Before ANYONE says “Mahiru is too forgiving about the whole fake memories thing and shouldn’t have forgiven Sakuya or be his friend.” Cause I HAVE heard someone say this and it makes me angry.

BECAUSE then you are ALSO SAYING:

Mahiru shouldn’t have forgiven and accepted Kuro for his past and all his sins and regrets, that he never shared with him. Also for attacking Mahiru that one time, lets not forget.

Mahiru shouldn’t be friends or ever trust Lawless because he’s killed so many eves and killed all of Tsubaki’s subclass and who knows what else he’s done?

Mahiru shouldn’t be finding a way to stop Tsubaki without killing him, because he’s not worth it.

Mahiru shouldn’t be trying to save Tsurugi either because he’s also done bad things.

AND SO ON.

SO SCREW EVERYONE WHO SAYS THAT. Cause you’re basically saying NO CHARACTER deserves happiness. -exhales- Sorry I just feel very strongly about that and I forgot to mention this in my defense post awhile ago. I feel better now~

So about Sakuya’s damn conflicted loyalty between Tsubaki and Mahiru. How are things gonna go from here?.WHICH ROUTE MY GUY? I WANT TO KNOW.

Tbh he’s kinda similar to Tsurugi in a sense (a certain someone kinda opened my eyes about that) that the whole “afraid to start something new because this is all that I’ve ever known and honestly I don’t know how to feel anymore?” kinda sense.

Although Tsurugi is debatablely the saddest character in servamp right now (backstory and current situation and all ARE WAYYY more painful.)

What? Just cause Sakuya is my fave didn’t mean I’m completely biased about him. He sad. But not the SADDEST. I just thought I would mention this cause the parallels kinda fascinate me.

I WANT SAKUYA TO TAKE SOME ACTION. HE’S FREE NOW RIGHT??? What’s he gonna do now??? What’s he planning to do!?!? STILL WAITING HERE.

. Ughh its probably gonna be awhile until we get anything about Sakuya again. Which is fine. Cause its not his arc right now.

WE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS IN THE MANGA. MUCH MORE PRESSING THINGS INDEED.

But still I’m extremely curious… To what he might do in the future…. I mean Sakuya and even Lilac are still running around freely unlike the other melancholy members at the moment? So will he somehow be involved with that later??? Will he find Tsubaki??? WHERE ARE YOU MY BOY?

Ughh I’m having Sakuya withdraw lol… I hope he gets to do something exciting or important soon…. Tanaka strike is TEASING ME by putting him in so many recent official arts but then NOT IN THE ACTUAL STORY. WHYYYY. (well we do see Sakuya in a recent bonus chapter so….)

I HOPE THAT MEANS STRIKE PLANS TO INCLUDE HIM AGAIN SOON. I’ll take it as foreshadowing *sobs* Strike obviously hasn’t forgotten about him….so JUST waiting and watching now.

Waiting and watching….

Sorry, that got so angsty above I wanted this post to be positive too.. So here are good/fun things I like about him:

Even though he character design absolutely baffles me(yes I mean the hair) I gotta say I really love it~ His hair is really something original that’s for sure. HA. His design also helped immediately catch my attention to him also I may have a bit of a “stripes bias” ahaha I own A LOT of stripe shirts myself lol always have and always will.

He owns a lot of pink accessories and wears pink a lot too! LET. BOYS. WEAR. PINK. YES. YOU. GO. MY. BOY. He rocks it fight me.

He’s cool and I’m kinda curious on what his subclass ability is. If there is even one for him. Weapons seem to be his specialty. (F.E knives, chainsaw(which I am still trying to figure out how magically pulled out in AN ELEVATOR!?! And can make a sword outta blood apparently.

But I don’t really trust the animes canon….) Also his little black strap things have a function??? THEY ARE ALIVE. WHAT

Look how happy Mahiru makes him. His smile is precious. He loves his friend so much I cry. I want them to be together and be friends again.

All the Tsubaki and Sakuya shenanigans make me laugh. One minute he’s crying to Mahiru “please don’t kill him” and the next you’re trying to put the guy into a fox trap. What even boi.

WANTS TO BE CALLED SAKKUN HOW CUTE IS THAT.

Has the best “yandere” expressions.

HE PRETTY STRONG and has great potential to be truly terrifying and useful. UNLEASH THAT POTENTIAL YOU GREEN EMO CHILD.

Another random thought I had was what would have things been like if Mahiru did choose to tell Sakuya about Kuro in the beginning like he originally planned? Might’ve still gone down the same way. But who knows?

(I could keep going tbh)

But for now I’m just gonna sweat about the BIGGER MATTERS THAT ARE CURRENTLY HAPPENING IN THE MANGA RIGHT NOW. HA….

Thank you for asking Aviiiii~

#SCREAMSSSS #servamp #ca3 asks #too-many-goddamn-fandoms #sakuya watanuki #watanuki sakuya

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