hyperfixations will make you do insane things like watch the 2009 live action movie adaptation twice in one week.

"You know, isn't it pretty funny? Back in both of our primes we were saving lives, making life and death decisions, sacrificing and trying to make decisions that would have the least amount of long term damage and we were doing HUGE things - now look at us. Glorified maids."

I (Aderis, yall rarely see me lately cause I'm hella an old retired hag of an alter) said that at Lucille jokingly earlier today cause he had asked me to help him in a "maternal coup" cause the kids (Riku Squared) need some hard overhaul environmental cleaning help to keep them from going into their respective survival modes while processing that the bulk of the remnant of our trauma environment is going to be mostly removed from our lives and like... I really think that is the bittersweet thing about healing.

Cause like, I said it like I was trying to tease him for having 'fallen to my level' since one of the longest and most intense beefs in this system were between the two of us cause I was primary protector for majority of our life, then I was leading shit down a dangerous bad path and he coup and "shut down" the system and put me in a fucking basement and villiafied me and took over as primary protector for like 6-8 years, and that shit cause huge bad blood for a while; and I also largely lashed out because he actually did a good job and even after we started working well as a system, it massively made me realize we weren't in the environment *I* was made for and it really made me feel worthless and useless because I'm not made for peace - so like, that was a huge point of contention cause I was really jealous and grieving the time when my nature was adaptive and I was in my "prime" and that he ended up taking it over as the more adaptive protector

But like, with where we are - he too has been sat down since his original function hasn't been "needed" for like two or so years and so the two of us divided to our respective similar host. Lucille covers for Riku and looks over XIV, I do the opposite. And at this point, he too is also basically a mostly retired mom.

And so like, he hijacked the front briefly and 'called' me using our music positive triggers and asked me to help out with a maternal coup which like, essentially is taking the front whores (Riku squared + The Child) from the front by force and taking a day to make our life and environment better for the kids.

And its honestly kinda nice cause like Lucille and I - until now - have never been able to get along even when we both tried until today I guess and I was holding back the playful snark sass I had of saying "I think we can only get along now that you've fallen to my level" and was telling him I was trying to figure out what I ACTUALLY meant - but I think we get along now because we both have had to process being "useless" to our original purpose and have found peace and comfort in our "retirement"

And so me joking about how we used to be "so cool and important and intense and are now glorified maids" is genuine in the sense that I know the both of us are actually pretty happy sitting back here and not being needed and have found a resentful peace in just basically being caring maids for kids cause like... it's kind of nice in it's own way.

And I guess its particularly telling that the two ex-primary protectors are both retired parents that we really have done a fucking good job fixing shit. Hell even Ray's only like, part time and hes our Primary Gatekeeper and one of the big name protectors.

Like, Lucille, Eva, Ray and I are just back here vibing in our own ways looking over at our kids and sighing at their stupidity cause the four of us just honestly don't have to do anything. The kids are usually learning at their own rate and making not-life/death mistakes as they should for their age and its kinda nice.

Retirement and coping with the realization that the shit we were literally built for is no longer needed, but just having this simplicity is honestly worth it.

And I also think its pretty cool that Lucille and I are actually like, you know, talking and working somewhat functionally for the first time in the 18 years he's been around.

I think we are both too emotionally old and mature to still hold things like that too seriously against each other and have both kind of learn to let shit go. We both fucked eachother (I guess my side of the story makes him sound like the asshole, but I really did a toll on him in a number of ways) and we completely like, do not mix well in our interest, egos, talking styles and interpersonal issues and shit, but thats the past and whatever the fuck happened between us got us where we are and currently where we are is pretty good so fuck it. We both did wrongs to eachother and like, its really not worth ruining the future for and crap.

Besides, he's right with "if XIV and Riku can make shit work as well as they have then I don't see why we can't"

-Aderis

TV Shows I’ve Binged During Iso & Brief Thoughts on Them

I noticed lately that I have been watching far more series than movies so I thought I’d share a few thoughts on what I’m watching at the moment.

High Fidelity - I loved this show so much that I watched it twice (once by myself and the second time with my friend, Ethan). Definitely the standout feature of the show is the soundtrack, it sent me on a 4 week Bowie-Bender both times, and Rob’s outfits (much time was spent with Ethan discussing her killer style). I definitely recommend this if you’re a music lover.

Fleabag - Fleabag is competing to be my favourite show of all time. Even though I personally believe that season 2 was (eeeeever so slightly) better, the whole show is funny and brash and sad and relatable and I want to just loop it in my brain forever. High Fidelity and Fleabag are cut from the same cloth in subject/format but I think Fleabag does a more intimate job of it. This is easily one of the most satisfying shows ever, the character development is beautiful and doesn’t feel forced. Also, fourth-wall-breakers, take notes. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is just an amazing writer and actress, holy hell. 

The Good Place - I accidentally binge-re-watched all 4 seasons in 6 days (oops). I don’t even know where to begin on how much I love this damn show. It just keeps getting better as you go along, even though the first season is phenomenal, the rest just ...improves?? It’s genuinely hilarious (“I love you too, egg” has had me cackling at 3 am like a madwoman more than once) and the discussion on ethics and humanity is just *chef’s kiss*. It’s not often that you see a show with decent and insightful commentary on morals, politics, humanity and the good and evil binary; multiple POC in leading roles; genuinely good humour and aesthetics and set design that deserve love. Everyone should watch this show.

Community - This was another re-watch for me (Ethan recommended it to me a couple of years ago) but it has always held a special place in my heart. Much like The Good Place, the heart of the show runs through the idea that humans, together, are better and will make each other better people. I could continue to be sentimental about the characters but that wouldn’t give me enough time to gush about the several other beauties of the show for example, homages to classic movies, Donald Glover, the many 3%er jokes, paintball episodes, Troy and Abed doing literally anything, the absolute absurdity of the show, the list is infinitely long and it’s only a matter of time before I accidentally summarise each individual episode. #SixSeasonsAndAMovie bitches ✌

Love - Ethan and I watched this together and it was pretty fantastic. We both agreed that Gus and Mickey were kinda overrated as a couple and as human beings but even so it was a fun and wholesome watch. We spent multiple hours bitching about all the characters, especially Gus and Mickey, and occasionally the writers. This is the kind of show you watch because you’re super invested in the side characters and have a reluctant soft spot for the main characters, but as a whole is entirely lovable. (Bertie deserves better).

Midnight Gospel - Midnight Gospel is an absolute trip to watch. Animating a podcast was a really cool idea but how can we possibly make it cooler?? By animating groovy space creatures in psychedelic palettes of course! The whole show is sensory overload in the best way possible and I want to re-watch it asap because there is so much to absorb in such a short amount of time. Even though the early episodes are totally awesome, the last few episodes are my favourites by far as they feel more personal and not gonna lie, I cried in the last episode. I really hope it comes back for more seasons because it was a really strong start.

Normal People - I read the book and then counted the days til the series came out. I’m not joking. I loved this adaptation a lot. It paid a lot of respect to the book but managed to divert comfortably into its own medium too. I was super worried they’d turn it into a flowery teen romance series and I’m infinitely grateful they didn’t. Ethan thought that the series was actually an improvement on the book whereas I love them both equally. The two highlights for me were the cinematography, the shots were so damn pretty, and the pacing of the script, it left a lot open for the audience to sit with and think about before moving on. It’s probably one of my favourite adaptations of a book ever.

Unorthodox - Ethan and I watched this most recently and this is another one everyone needs to see. I’d like to start this by saying I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Hasidic community portrayed in any media before which was really interesting, I feel like majority of devout followers in media are Christian so this was an interesting learning point for me. Unorthodox was really beautifully made and, most importantly, it was made by people who genuinely care about the story. The absolute standout was the amount of raw emotion packed into it all. The characters don’t even need dialogue for us to feel what they’re feeling. Shira Haas did a phenomenal job portraying Esty. I think it’s also important to remember that it’s not an indictment of religion, but rather, an exploration of Esty’s personal relationship with God and herself. Just thinking about this show makes me want to talk about it for hours

One Day at a Time - I watched this one with my sister @juicebox-baby and holy crap it is extremely wholesome. It’s your classic family sitcom but it’s also super heartfelt and inclusive. Full disclosure, I cried like an absolute baby on like 5 or 6 separate occasions. At times, the writing feels like it’s trying to cram too much in and as a result, the arcs can feel a little bit rigid but that’s fairly easy to look past in favour of the really sweet family feel. Also I have to take a second to say that Abuelita is a gift to humanity.

Killing Eve - Phoebe Waller-Bridge is back. Can Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh please get all of the awards for having stupid amounts of talent? Not to quote the ads but they really do have killer chemistry and it’s a little offensive how amazing they are. I don’t normally go for murder/espionage shows but there was something about this one that had me completely hooked. Even my mum (who falls asleep during every. single. show.) managed to stay awake almost the whole time and was nagging me to watch the next episode with her. 

Five Reasons I Won’t Watch the Anime, But Will Watch the Movie

I don't have many good things to say about the Ace Attorney anime and have my reasons for why I refuse to watch it. Admittedly, I have watched a few clips here and there to see how its version of some, if not many, of my favorite scenes from the game compare. As expected, it continually disappoints. Had it been just Manfred Von Karma adopting Miles Edgeworth that I hated from the anime, I would've watched it regardless. Even during the days I was into Yu-Gi-Oh, I was still willing to watch the worst season of that show, Capsule Monsters, because it still felt like Yu-Gi-Oh no matter how poorly done it was. The same can be said for Ace Attorney. If it feels like Ace Attorney, I will watch it regardless.

The Ace Attorney anime did not give me the same type of excitement the game had. Much to my amazement, much of the reasons why I absolutely refuse to watch the anime version of Ace Attorney is the opposite reasons why I am more than excited to watch the live action movie adaptation. Even when watching some of the spoiler clips of the live action movie, including some of the changes made, gives me the joy and excitement I never got when watching the Ace Attorney anime. To understand this, I will give you my list of reasons for why I refuse to watch the Ace Attorney anime and how the live action Ace Attorney movie differs from those reasons.

Changes From the Game

In any medium, changes are necessary in order to fit the medium. The Danganronpa anime, for instance, makes certain necessary changes during the day breaks. Instead of seeing Makoto meeting with each character and being given their underwear, after unlocking five or three friendship events, it mostly cuts to important scenes. Of course, this does mean sacrificing what bond he's made to the other characters, but that sacrifice is necessary in order to keep the story going. Some scenes from the game are cut from the anime for timing purposes. The Ace Attorney anime doesn't do either of those things.

I have complained about the anime's change in having Miles Edgeworth be the adopted son of Manfred Von Karma, but that's just the tip of the ice berg of changes done in the anime. Other changes I've also seen will go from giving Miles a dog named Missile – who was actually Dick Gumshoe's dog in the game, to having Maya gain the bullet from Gregory by stealing it from Von Karma's office – because that is totally not illegal or destroys the sacrifice she made to gain that bullet in the game, to making Celeste Inpax Adrian's older sister – yeah, because that doesn't destroy the symbolism of Miles Edgeworth's suffering, to the biggest disappointment of no psyche-locks, aside from that tease in Farewell my Turnabout that felt like the creator was sticking their tongue at us. There are more stupid changes, besides these, but I'd rather not list them all.

There were changes in the anime that I did like, but they were mostly additions that broadened the story and most of it was from the first season. Come to find out, the first season of the anime was done by a different studio, while the second season changed studios. It's pretty clear that the first season at least was putting love and care into the show, whereas the second season felt more like a lazy cash grab with no real potential. I'm not asking for an anime adaptation of Ace Attorney to be by the books, but I am asking for heart and the anime didn't feel like there was any heart. I felt more love for the show in Yu-Gi-Oh Capsule Monsters and even The Last Airbender live action movie than I did with the Ace Attorney anime. Not to say there wasn't anyone working on the anime that weren't Ace Attorney fans, but the ones that did work their best were not the ones in charge of orchestrating the project. I will say the voice actors and those in charge of the music did put their heart into it.

The live movie adaptation of Phoenix Wright do have changes from the game, but unlike the anime adaptation, these changes do feel like necessary changes in comparison. One of the major changes in the live action movie is the setting of DL-6, which is the Evidence Room and not the elevator. Because the film was low budget, it's understandable why they may've had to change the setting. Also, it would be hard to film in a closed space. While Miles passing out makes little sense in the movie, it also can be left up for interpretation such as maybe the shock of thinking he shot his father by accident. Another change was having Gregory wear his trench coat from Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2, which I find to be an excellent Easter egg. Another change was how Phoenix Wright obtained the bullet shot in Gregory Edgeworth, that being from inside The Thinker clock/statue. While it belittled Maya's sacrifice in the anime, in this one, it creates a connection between Maya's and Edgeworth's trial that is necessary for the film adaptation. A film cannot work in the same way as a game, since a movie needs to follow a single plot line. It also doesn't sacrifice Maya's sacrifice, since the tasing scene is still in the film, but at a different location with different circumstances.

Not to say the film won't have any flaws, but it's clear there was more heart put into it based on the changes. It never tries to change the relationships between the characters from the game, make characters do things they normally wouldn't do in the game or give things that originally belonged to another character. The live action movie kept to the game as much as it could. Because of how much heart was put into the live action movie, I had thought it was a fan movie at first. Heck, there are scenes where we see Edgeworth stand from the Defendant's Bench to defend himself. Sure, the anime had that too, but not until the very end. Even then, it wasn't as good as the  live action movie, where Edgeworth is heavily involved and not just sitting in his bench twiddling his thumbs, while Phoenix is cross-examining a bird. Not to say the game had Edgeworth do anything until the end, but there weren't enough graphics to see him respond to anything. Anyone that does an anime or movie adaptation is expected to show more than what the game provides. When you compare the responses from the characters in the anime and the movie, it's clear the movie shows much more responses from the defendant and the entire gallery, while the anime does not.

As I said, changes are sometimes necessary when doing adaptations to other mediums and the movie's changes feel much more necessary, while the anime's changes feel aggrivating.

Semi Futuristic, Conducting Trials and Presenting Evidence

The anime adaptation has a very lazy way of showing us that Phoenix Wright takes place in a semi futuristic world with 2000's technology. It does this by... showing us technology we already have in this day and age? Imagine if someone were to make a Back to the Future reboot where Marty McFly goes to 2015 and instead of seeing a Utopian future full of jaw dropping technology and hover boards, we get technology we use today. Sounds kinda boring, doesn't it? Well, that's what the Ace Attorney anime feels like.

There's nothing amazing or uniquely different about the Ace Attorney anime that catches the viewer's eye. What I liked about the game was that it introduced us to certain kinds of tech that were amazing and made us feel we were in another world. We were introduced to new ways of development and magic. Fingerprint analysis could be used by common people, you could analyze pieces of evidence without touching it, you can record data in a court record before the police arrive and, because magic also exists in this world, people treated it as something that commonly happened. In the anime, we get to see screenshots of evidence on TV, have Phoenix handling evidence even though he's not allowed to do that and watching a not Utopian future that feels too much like the real world today. Yay.

The Ace Attorney live action movie not only makes it known that this is a semi futuristic world, but shows it to us. You have evidence in holographic screens the Defense or Prosecution can pull up and push to the person they're showing it to. When the Defense wins, holographic confetti is released toward the gallery, which I find much more satisfying than Gumshoe throwing it. This makes it to where the Defense doesn't have to handle evidence and present it much more efficiently. Because trials are expected to last no more than three days, you really feel the pressure from Phoenix Wright. It feels like something that exists only in this world and not ours.

What the live action movie did was something asked and expected by the fans. They want Ace Attorney to feel like a semi futuristic world. They want the trials to feel pleasant to look at. The anime did do a good job with adding some wind effects to the objections, but that was the only cool thing done. There wasn't anything fresh and new beyond that. Also, no psyche-locks, which I felt was one of the biggest disappointments. It felt like a missed opportunity with what the anime could do with the animation in using the magatama to break the psyche-locks. Well... that and showing Phoenix throwing his phone to Edgeworth in Farewell my Turnabout in animation. Co'mon, am I the only one that wants to see the epic phone throw in animation!?

Pet peeves aside, with what I've seen the live action movie provide with presenting evidence, I am looking forward to seeing what else they bring to the table. Perhaps hinting the magatama?

Easter Eggs

The anime showing Easter eggs or not is irrelevant, because I see non. I asked someone, who had only seen the Ace Attorney anime if Gregory is ever seen with Raymond Shields or have any discussions about IS-7. The answer was no. We get nothing out of IS-7.

The live action movie gives us Gregory with his trench coat he used when investigating IS-7. It gives us Apollo Justice's Objection song that is used at the end of Phoenix's Objection song. The movie ends with Farewell my Turnabout, letting us know it's not expecting a sequel, but tells us that Phoenix Wright does not end with Turnabout Goodbyes either. The live action movie makes it clear there is no sequel, but shows us there is more to look forward to. This is something I never got from the anime.

The anime only tells the story it wants to tell us and no more. Many people ask for an anime adaptation of Apollo Justice, but I don't want there to be one. There was a huge split in the game, so in order to do an anime adaptation, that would mean the creators will have to put love and heart into it. Unfortunately, I never got that from the anime. Not even a hint of what's to come or even the events of Phoenix Wright Dual Destinies or Spirit of Justice.

You want to talk about change, how about instead of Miles Edgeworth being adopted by Manfred Von Karma, he's adopted by Raymond Shields? Then, when Miles gets older, he leaves to work for Manfred Von Karma and we get a heartbreaking scene of Miles saying hurtful words to Raymond Shields. Heck, how about instead of Phoenix giving Miles a dog named Missile, it's named Pess. Not only would it be showing love for the show, but acknowledging the creator's idea for the character. Another change fans would love is Miles Edgeworth eating a swiss roll with Gumshoe and Kay in Turnabout Beginnings. Maybe have Phoenix read a Newspaper about Miles Edgeworth revealing the Yatagaratsu to being Calisto Yew.

Again, going back to Yu-Gi-Oh Capsule Monsters, the idea 4Kids came up with was based on a game introduced in the manga. While the monsters were replaced by Dual Monsters, the game play was still the same. It may've been the worst season, but it at least was aware of what the fans wanted and looked forward to. The same can be said for The Last Airbender live action movie. Granted, it sucked and the characters were blander than a cardboard box, but it at least kept story and characters consistent with little to no changes in the flow of the plot and characters. I never got that from the anime.

I will admit, I liked how the creators did base many of the expressions from the sprites, but it felt like that these additions were from a simple google search. You can find sprites of the characters. You can also search on wiki for the summery of the game play and walk through. Again, the first season did feel like they were trying to follow the plot and characters, while giving the fans what they wanted. Though, afterwards, the animation and everything just stood on a straight line instead of improving.

If I had to choose, I will always be thrilled to watch an adaptation that feels like it was made with love and care by fans and for fans.

Cheap and lazy

The anime is lazy with its animation and what they can do with it. There was a clip of when Godot threw his coffee at Phoenix, then we see it magically disappear in the next scene. There were some people that thought I was nitpicking when I complained about it, but it had nothing to do with realism. It was because it was lazy. I would have preferred Phoenix turning the coffee into a rope and whipping Godot than using cheap tricks like that. That's aside from the fact that the animation feels cheap when compared to the game.

I know that with animated series, it is treated differently than a cartoon movie, because it's continual, but that's not an excuse when you consider what the live action movie did on a low budget. Cheap and lazy is different from low budget film. Despite being on low budget, the live action movie worked their hardest to make the movie as exciting as possible. Sure, there were goofy moments, but they were done for comedic effects to distract us from the dark elements. The characters showed much stronger emotions when compared to the anime adaptation.

Now, Maya's character in the film was one thing that felt like a fail and I would agree with that, but the rest of the characters showed such strong emotions that worked naturally off each other. Just from the trailer alone, I could see that the actress that played Maya tried her hardest to put so much emotion into her character that lost her sister and dealt with the hardships of a spirit medium. Phoenix Wright deals with the pressure of being a Defense Attorney and shows the emotions of losing his mentor, then is about to lose his best friend he worked so hard to become a Defense Attorney to save. You see the intense emotion and pressure with being accused of murder by his own mentor he worshiped like a god. Again, there's a reason why I thought this film was fan made.

The intense emotion shown in the live action movie reminded me of a stage play done at an Anime Con on Farewell my Turnabout where Phoenix is talking with Shelly De Killer. There's a moment he has with Edgeworth where he is in tears, because of Maya's situation, then hearing words of wisdom from his friend to not give up. That tugs my heartstrings and just watching the trailer of the live action movie did the same to me. Seeing Phoenix watching the ghost of his former mentor pulled on my heartstrings compared to the anime's version of it. Also, no I did not watch the live action's scene of Maya's ghost before the anime's; it was the other way around. Seeing Phoenix in the live action version looking like he's about to cry and struggling not to is much more heartbreaking than watching the anime's Phoenix on the ground in the middle of the courtroom doing the same thing and looking like a fool.

When you see a low budget movie touching hearts by doing their very best with what they have, it shows they're not just showing cheap tricks. I feel the anime could've done much more instead of using cheap tricks. Going back to my no psyche-locks complaint, when you have a two second scene of psyche-locks breaking in an imagery that shows more dimension than the game, it feels more like a middle finger than an Easter Egg. I don't want to see cheap parlor tricks, I want to see the best freakin' adaptation to a beloved game the world has ever seen.

Love VS Money

As I have stated, I do believe that the Ace Attorney anime was originally planned by those that genuinely loved the game. Many of the ideas placed into it like the Signal Samurai and giving Edgeworth a dog feels like something brought by a genuine fan. Though, at some point, the anime lost its way and it makes me wish it was like the Danganronpa anime and just stuck to one season. That being said, I don't think it was full of people that didn't care about Ace Attorney. There were certainly fans of the game in the development team, but there were those that I suspect cared more for money than love for the franchise.

The live action movie felt like it was done by fans. Even those that didn't know the game seemed excited about working on this project. I'm not going to say that people that work on a good movie adaptation are going to be full of fans, but it needs to be driven by fans. It's not going to feel genuine otherwise. The Ace Attorney anime didn't feel genuine and perhaps it's because Season 2 was done by a different studio.

Think of it this way, what if there was a trailer of a live action adaptation of Yu-Gi-Oh? Wouldn't you want to see holographic images projecting from a duel disk or watching the characters going inside a holographic box that projects different climates or environments with monsters that look realistic and 3D looking? What if instead of that, you got TV screenshots of the play cards and monsters in 2D pixels fighting and defeating each other as if you were at a Yu-Gi-Oh game Anime Con? Wouldn't that be disappointing?

I think you guys get the idea. In any anime adaptation of a game, I expect it to feel like it came straight out of the game itself. That's what the live adaptation of Ace Attorney feels like. It feels like they took the game out of its cartridge and placed it in the real world. Sure, there are changes, but they don't feel like a disappointment or  missed opportunity. The Ace Attorney anime feel like there were too many missed opportunities and changes no one asked for.

In any case, I look forward to watching the live adaptation of Ace Attorney, because it feels genuine, it feels like the kind of movie I looked forward to as a fan. When I finished the trilogy, I remember nagging about how Ace Attorney would be the perfect movie for Hollywood to adapt to live action, because there wouldn't be many scenes to shoot and the only chapter of the game to focus is Turnabout Goodbyes. If they want to go farther, then Turnabout Sisters and Turnabout Goodbyes with the other ones brushed to the side. Apparently, I wasn't the only one asking for this, because the live action movie did exactly that.

If there is any chance to give Ace Attorney another chance for a live action adaptation, I'd like there to be little to no changes and to give something to the fans that they look forward to.

Titans S2

Final Thoughts

am i the only one that really just didnt care about Donna and Garth’s relationship? like a couple of white heteros that are essentially star-crossed or whatever? get outta here

so i also really didnt care much about his death

Donna dying because of electricution was fucking stupid, just why? it makes no sense, Superboy was right there, or Dawn coulda moved, no one had to die, it wasn’t necessary i mean come on

and the whole ‘there’s a darkness inside me’ schitck that’s been going on with Dick, Donna, Hank, Dawn, Rachel (but she gets a pass cuz she’s legit half demon) honestly, get it over with, stop asking yourself if you’re good people, just do your damn job cuz the whole ‘dark side of me’ thing is getting so old i swear

i really wished they could’ve addressed Jason’s suicide attempt more and all the mental health issues he’s clearly portraying and yet it all got swept away for the big Jericho reveal, like i honestly felt that was the realest thing this whole season, i could feel how he felt and his own depression mixed with the trauma of almost dying and just getting pushed away by everyone, just wow

dont get me wrong, Jericho was the literal best thing about this season, just an excited kid that loves to cook loves music loves his momma and just wanted to make some new friends, even though he’s still alive, my boy deserved better

another shot of mental health being swept away is Gar and his entire time at CADMUS, i mean, it’s never addresed??? it makes me so flippin’ pissed, like what the hell?

we also never get to see him experiment with hiw powers, first episode this season and we get him turning into a snake and that was flipping awesome and yet he never mentions it or does anything like it again??? not cool ™️, like i legit thought CADMUS woulda figured it out and told him he has the potential to turn into all animals but nooooo

on the side note, if the Titans do end up on Tamaran next season, can we please get him to turn into an alien animal just like in the other adaptions??

i did not care for how little we got of Rachel, she and Dick are supposed to have this father-daughter relationship, why dont they talk more hmmm?

Bruce Wayne being a manifestation of Dick’s guilt has really interesting actually, and kinda hilarious at times, and then him acting not as guilt but as a way for Dick’s brain to connect the dots on how Jericho was still alive was again, pretty interesting

i dont care what anyone says, Lex Luthor has the biggest crush on Superman that he decided to make a baby with him without his knowledge, like wow

off-topic but i silently love the fact that Batman is the biggest loner of the JL and yet he has the biggest family (similar to Wolverine except in his case its various clones and an actual talking wolverine)

i loved every second of Conner’s episode, and Krypto is the goodest boy ™️ like he’s so smart and im honestly in love (and thank goodness they gave him a shot in the last scene cuz i thought they forgot him in CADMUS)

A Good Boy ™️

Random life vent

I remember being really happy as a kid/teenager, everything was awesome, always had friends and family around and did cool stuff, didn’t overthink about anything just lived my life as it came day by day. Not anymore. Before i dive into this, there’s going to be so many things im going to miss or havent remembered thats probably vital or important in relation to what im saying and as im re-reading over it ill realise i havent added something so yeah just a heads up, im a guy in his mid 20′s, majority of this my friends now dont even know about and i couldnt even imagine trying to explain all this shit to somebody i know, i guess thats why im here lol, i want to add and not sure if its related to how i turned out or not but growing up i was always on the shy side, wasn’t super shy but like when i would do shit like do a class presentation by myself id always go red and blush and sometimes get teary, not that i was sad or upset, id just get fucking teary like a dickhead lol, would use my hands when i talked and just overall looked like a nervous wreck. I was comfy around friends and family, could do whatever, didnt really care, if anything i felt like an extrovert around them, but when it came to being in situations i didnt know anybody, i plainly would just say nothing, not make an effort to really engage in conversation, just lay back and wait for that situation to be over til i was with my friends. If somebody approached me id obviously talk to them and whatever but rarely would i be the person initiating anything like that, was a bit of a idiot like that growing up lol. I’ve always been the person who wanted everyone to be happy, i was always oblivious to how other people like my friends had family or whatever issues growing up and the REAL impact it has on them, like divorced parents or they dont know their mum or dad or whatever that stuff, i knew people with depression and anxiety growing up and i was always open to talk to people about it, i LOVED being the friend to speak to if anybody was feeling like shit or wanted to vent, it made me feel really appreciated and id been given this trust to listen to what they have to say, like i might be able to make them feel better about what they had to say regardless of if i could properly help/change their circumstances and problems, but maybe put a smile on their face and make them laugh and let them know it’ll be ok without even being sure if it would, but i never would say that and 100% know it would be ok, but by saying that it might just give them some hope that things CAN be ok and they then believe it can change for the better. From the age of 16 i was super self conscious, i cared what people thought of me, not that im a super ugly guy or had anything dramatically wrong looks wise or how i was, but more so for me maybe like saying something and somebody over hearing it and me being like “oh fuck i should of said that” because it might sound bad or like having pimples (probably same as every teenager ever lol) or a bad hair day (literally) kinda thing. I cared how people portrayed me, i wanted everyone to know i was just average person who just wanted everybody to be happy, i made conscious decisions on what i said to who and where i said it, clothes i would wear depending on where i was going and who might see me, that stuff was like a necessity in my life, i wasn’t like ocd about that stuff because sometimes id be in situations where i know id be judged but still followed through, but something about me just fuckinggggg hated having somebody look at me a certain way and portray me differently to who i really am. I just re-read that and holy shit lol i sound like an idiot the way i’ve said what i’ve said, this is another thing about me maybe saying something and not accurately making it out to sound how i intend it to sound. Whatever rofl, now the real shit. I got diagnosed by a psych with anxiety when i was 18, this was the beginning of my mental downfall from then to this day. About 6-7 months of solid anxiety i could barely leave my house, was scared for no fucking reason, dont even know why, all i remember is my heart beating like crazy and feeling like i was going to pass out or whatever. This would happen mainly in social situations during and before even seeing others/doing things. I would work myself up to the point of crying, getting hives/being itchy everywhere on my body, nervously shaking and visually just looking terrified. I couldn’t drive properly because i’d get panic attacks and id feel like im about to pass out and i cant escape cos im trapped inside a car, traffic was the worst especially when i was alone, there was numerous times that i fucking cried in my car before and after id pull over to relax myself, how stupid is this shit? Why does this happen to people, how does this shit happen to ME, i dont even get why this all is even happening, im not an unhealthy person by any means so im not sick and didnt have symptoms of any illness, wtf is going on. How the fuck do i get over this, ended up seeing a psych because i had no idea wtf was wrong with me, bring in my diagnosis of having anxiety. While i was at home, i would hardcore grind out games on my computer, it made me feel normal and not like absolute shit, dont know why but at the time thats all that made me not feel like absolute shit and scared of being outside in the world. I took pills for this, tried to be active by exercising, playing sport and making an effort and forcing myself out of the house. At the start it was absolute torture, i didn’t ever think i’d get over this, it was that bad. I was on medication, couldn’t tell you what one because i just dont remember and never payed attention to medication names etc. Fast forward 6-7 months, i am actually feeling ok, i apply for jobs, go to job interviews with ease, im actually feeling really good like im making improvements in my life and progressing correctly by taking the next step, something i wouldn’t of thought of doing months earlier. I ended up getting a job and it was like a weight off my shoulders, i was excited, my parents were super happy with me for how far that i had come, i felt good as, potentially like im on track to success in living my life and being able to feel good again. As i got this job i was confident in going out and felt like i could properly just do shit, like i could be me again. This lasted about 15 months, i was ok to drive, i NEVER had a panic attack during this 15 months, i felt good af, when i drove i would even laugh at myself be like “why tf was i panicking? why was i such an idiot and getting worried over shit that cant and wont effect me and make me feel scared? why would i care about those things”, even in like social situations same thing, it was great. It all started to come back, slowly it like bloody crept its way back to being bad, but at this stage i was in denial, i was like na i can get over this i dont need to see anybody, but realistically i probably needed to. To this day i’ve never seen a psych about it, for the last 4-5 years ive almost just adapted to knowing im going to have panic attacks and feel like shit, iv learnt to cope and deal with it myself, the thought of me taking pills for this again scares me, why would i want to take pills to get better again when once i feel good, come off them, id get back into this state of mind and feel anxious again, and then repeat, why the fuck, seriously, why the fuck would i put myself into this potential scenario, i say potential because its a possibility, but thats not a risk im willing to take, people get addicted to this shit, ultimately what im trying to say is i dont want to be that person that gets reliant on taking pills to just having a functioning mind that doesnt make me feel scared and afraid, why cant i just shake this off? is there something im not doing? wtf is the cure to this shit? i know its not the pills because i dont want to become reliant on medications to make me happy. Im pretty convinced im depressed too, iv had serious thoughts about suicide, but i dont think im somebody who could actually commit to it, and if i was, i would probably make the decision to speak to somebody, but im stuck in a mindset where im not going to die from it, but i feel like shit all the time, i dont want meds, i dont know how to fix where im at pretty much, theres things that have happened to me the last couple years which have convinced me im a bad partner in a relationship, not for things i do but for what i unintentionally didnt do, im not a fulfilling boyfriend, ive either never obviously met the right girl for me or im just not fit to be a boyfriend, and thats what i think, how can somebody commit to me but im to stressed and worried about how my commitment to them might not be enough? the constant worry of not being a good boyfriend, when all i really want is for everything to be ok and happy, not that if things arent good or happy that thats a bad thing, i totally understand not everything is perfect and there are shit things that happen to people or in the world thats always going to happen, but i feel like, mainly with my last ex girlfriend, i felt like i was in a competition half the time to compete and get reassurance i was being a good boyfriend because i didnt know anything else, i was locked into this relationship i felt i couldnt escape, i so badly wanted out but was sucked into the mindset that if i left id have nothing and couldnt be with anybody because shes the only one who would be with me cos she already is, how the fuck do i overcome this, how do i get out? Its been a year since she ended up breaking up with me and pretty much for those reasons, i wasn’t up to par with her standards, i wasnt her dream boyfriend, for somebody who accepted my past issues with anxiety and letting her in on all my personal shit, if somebody who i thought cared for me leaves me, how could i ever convince or even get another girl to be with me knowing i have this weight and baggage of being a potential let down and not being able to be the person she needs me to be?  Writing all this i thought id feel better but i kinda still feel like shit. I weighed up deleting this, i had it all highlighted ready to backspace and alt f4 this but fuck it i might regret not posting this, i guess thats why im here anyway. If you read all this sorry for the random bullshit, i re-read it and i sidetracked myself hard from what i was originally going to say but im kinda tired and was literally just typing anything that came to my mind andddd yeeeeaaaahhh.. peace

answers aa themed questions nobody asked because i’m cool and sexy

also i havent played the 5th or 6th games so

YOUR FAVOURITE…? 1. Favourite Ace Attorney game? honestly? phoenix wright ace attorney! everything’s fresh, there aren’t many weak characters, and the plot is remarkable (especially the fifth case). the whole trilogy is really good as one unit though 2. Favourite case? 1-4, 1-5, 2-4, and 3-5 are tied lol, i can’t make a decision to save my life. 2-1 is really really funny tho 3. Favourite defendant? as a defendant, lana skye. as a person, edgeworth 4. Favourite prosecutor? as a prosecutor, franziska von karma. as a person, edgeworth 5. Favourite ship? wrightworth obviously... ive probably put more thought into them over the last 3 years than any other ship 6. Favourite victim? probably mia fey or gregory edgeworth... but for non-relevant victims, neil marshall :( 7. Favourite murderer? shelly de killer, i LOVE that guy. but dee vasquez was very cool as well 8. Favourite assistant? maya fey!!!!!!!!!! but i like kay faraday a lot too (im so sorry ema) 9. Favourite witness? adrian andrews... or maybe iris? i mean i didn’t like iris but god what a person 10. Favourite quote? “It doesn't matter how many underhanded tricks a person uses... The truth will always find a way to make itself known. The only thing we can do is to fight with the knowledge we hold and everything we have. Erasing the paradoxes one by one... It's never easy... We claw and scratch for every inch. But we will always eventually reach that one single truth. This I promise you.” - Miles Edgeworth i made this one of my senior quotes :]

YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE…? 11. Least favourite Ace Attorney game? uh fucking apollo justice. literally what the hell was that 12. Least favourite case? turnabout visitor wasn’t very strong? i guess it’s fine as an intro, but it’s also wonky with the timeline of aai 13. Least favourite defendant? max galactica. he’s better in the anime though 14. Least favourite prosecutor? manfred von karma, obviously. i like every other prosecutor (who i know of) though, even winston payne is pretty funny in hindsight 15. Least favourite ship? “miles edgeworth/female oc”. there are a lot of bad ships though, mostly involving phoenix & his assistants. dont do that please 16. Least favourite victim? zak gramarye for kickstarting that shitty, shitty game 17. Least favourite murderer? again mvk... but also fucking frank sahwit LMAO 18. Least favourite assistant? i guess trucy 19. Least favourite witness? fuck everyone from turnabout big top unless it was the anime episode 20. Least favourite memory of Ace Attorney? repeatedly trying and failing to download the emulator for aai2 hbjsjhdb i eventually got it but someone had to send me the download fully pre-patched and i felt kinda useless DO YOU PREFER…? 21. Phoenix Wright or Apollo Justice? phoenix wright. fuck that “GOTCHA!” mechanic jesus christ 22. Maya Fey or Trucy Wright? maya fey. nothing personal against trucy but i just dont like aj hbjsdjhsdb also maya is really sweet and fun and she has the best sprites. she seems like she’d be a good friend, it’s too bad that she doesn’t have the time for them as a spirit medium and all :( if maya ema and kay got to hang out together itd be wild 23. Investigations or trials? trials are easier in my opinion because investigations have several things you could be doing without such a linear style, so if you miss something, you won’t really know until you wander around forever 24. College Phoenix or Hobo Phoenix? college feenie!!!!! he’s like trilogy feenie but more emotional and less witty. i like to pretend that hobo phoenix doesnt exist 25. Klavier Gavin or Kristoph Gavin? who would say kristoph 26. Ace Attorney or Ace Attorney Investigations? ace attorney but only because phoenix is in it lmao. im actually rewatching a playthrough of aai now, and playing aai2 at the same time, so while it is on the mind, i feel like the cases characters and mechanics - while loved - don’t hold up to the OGs 27. Apollo’s perceive, Phoenix’s magatama, or Athena’s Mood Matrix? i actually kinda like the mood matrix more than anything because it has a really good UI and the magatama is kinda grating. but FUCK the gotcha mechanic it is SO FUCKING STUPID and IMPOSSIBLE TO USE.  where is logic chess 28. Ace Attorney trilogy or Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies? you already know my answer to this one 29. 3D models or sprites? i do like the 3d models a lot but i like the original sprites more! imo original pixel sprites > 3D models > HD sprites. mostly bc the hd sprites are garbage (see here, here, and here) 30. Ema Skye as she is in Rise from the Ashes or Ema Skye as she is in Apollo Justice? rfta !!!!!! shes actually really nice as an assistant, esp considering the fact that we actually see her interact with her sister, which is something maya didn’t have very often. also her random appearance in aai was well appreciated by me

MISCELLANEOUS 31. Did you like what they did to Phoenix in Apollo Justice?

NO I AM SO FUCKING MAD WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO HIM ISN’T HE A LAWYER WHY COULD HE NOT JUST DEFEND HIMSELF FROM THE FACT THAT HE��“FORGED EVIDENCE” IT WASN’T EVEN HIS IN THE FIRST PLACE SOMEBODY ELSE FORGED IT AND HE DIDN’T KNOW THAT, MANFRED VON KARMA GOT AWAY WITH A FUCKLOAD OF NONSENSE AND SO DOES EVERY OTHER LAWYER SO WHY IS IT THAT PHOENIX CAN SURVIVE EATING A POISONED GLASS NECKLACE AND GETTING HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND FALLING FROM A BURNING BRIDGE INTO A RUSHING RAVINE AND BEING HIT BY A CAR BUT HE CAN’T FUCKING DEFEND HIMSELF LIKE HE DOES IN EVERY OTHER CASE BECAUSE THAT’S THE POINT OF THE GAME AND ALSO HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER

32. Your opinion on Dai Gyakuten Saiban? haven’t played it! it looks pretty cool though

33. Do you think Dai Gyakuten Saiban and/or Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2 will get localised to the West? doubt it, since the creators have said that it won’t be. but the fan translations are pretty good, so i think it’s okay

34. Do you think Miles Edgeworth should get another Investigation-game or do you think another character deserves a spin-off? i mean he already has two, so i guess he doesn’t need another? like i love edgeworth but he’s not as fun without phoenix around. ngl i would play a franziska game. or a maya game, or any spinoff revolving around a side character. hell i’d play hotti game if it meant it took place in the trilogy era

35. Opinion on the soundtrack of the Ace Attorney-franchise? REALLY good. really really good. i love how each game of the trilogy has different composers but each track has the same theme and feel!!!

36. Do you like where the franchise is heading or did you prefer the atmosphere in the original trilogy? seriously absolutely completely prefer the trilogy. i’m sorry but the rush of youth and trust is way, way more enjoyable than whatever “i’m 35 and therefore middle aged” nonsense is happening in the 2020s

37. Capcom suddenly announces that Phoenix will no longer appear in the Ace Attorney franchise! Your reaction? He’s been replaced by Penny Nichols. Fuck you.

38. Capcom suddenly announces that the Ace Attorney franchise has ended for good! Your reaction? it was me i ended it

39. Would you like there to be another Ace Attorney/Professor Layton crossover game? i didnt play it but i really like the idea!!!!!! aa crossover games are really funny to me, i mean have you seen edgeworth in project x zone 2, lmao

40. Would you like an Ace Attorney anime? we have one now! honestly i don’t think it did a very good job of representing the cases, but it did do a good character remix of turnabout big top so that they’re not creepy anymore. they also did a really good job with the anime-specific cases, like the one on the train! it feels a lot better paced when it’s intended for that medium rather than just adapted.  also the childhood episodes made me cry

41. Opinion on anime cutscenes in Ace Attorney? like in 5 and 6? mm, the art style is kinda weird, and i don’t really like the voices, but i guess not everything can be pachinko and prozd

42. Would you want to play an Ace Attorney game where you take on the prosecutor’s role? YEAH ACTUALLY!!!!!! it might be kinda weird being on the right side of the screen though lmao

43. Do you like having DLC in Ace Attorney-games? uhhh i hate having to buy extra things, but i’ll admit that they are pretty funny

44. Opinion on Lamiroir’s storyline? i only played aj so if shes in other games idk but i thought she was fine

45. One thing you think the Ace Attorney games can improve on? stop having creepy characters please. also jesus christ if phoenix and edgeworth arent wearing rings in aa7 i will become the ceo of capcom myself

46. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you like it to be based on an already existing case or would you like an all new storyline? i mean the musical did a pretty good job of adapting existing cases, so it might as well be new. it would be kinda hard to balance the games’ timeline & character development without being repetitive or an au

47. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you prefer it being live-action, 3D animated or 2D animated? stylized 2D animation, probably? i would want it to feel more like into the spiderverse than an anime, though. in my dream ace attorney movie, they’d just need a high art budget, several plausible deniability wrightworth scenes, and prozd to voice edgeworth

48. If there could be an Ace Attorney crossover with whatever franchise you’d like, which one would you choose? (Does not need to be a video-game franchise) your turn to die is probably closest in characterization, although its premise is more “locked in a room” than the open-world investigation of aa

49. Opinion on recurring witnesses? (Wendy Oldbag, Lotta Hart, Larry Butz, etc.) honestly, i like them a lot! i don’t know why people hate them so much - i mean, i know lotta lied, and wendy is a horrible old flirt, and larry just kinda sucks all around. but they’re also pretty funny to have around! larry is a constant comic relief who reminds you how much better nick & edgey are in comparison, lotta is likeable as a general character (like in 2-4, although yeah, not remarkable), and wendy oldbag is really funny. she’s so fucking funny. none of you appreciate wendy oldbag’s quirks and you are SLEEPING ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

50. Do you think Dual Destinies deserved its M-rating? no idea, holy shit, it got an m-rating? i mean every game before it has had blood violence and very mild swearing, and since DD probably doesnt have anything too sexually risqué, i doubt it deserves a rating any harsher than the rest of the series

okay thanks thats all

I've recently watched the 2019 "The Lion King" movie online, and I'm glad I didn't pay to see it at the cinemas because it wouldn't be worth the ticket price. It was lame. (record-lengthy rant below; not really spoilers as it's basically the 1994 animated movie again with a few minor changes)

”The Lion King” from 1994 is one of my most favorite Disney animated classics from my childhood and I was interested at first when the remake was announced. I was impressed by the gorgeous realistic animation in the first previews and trailer, but the more I looked into the last trailer, the more concerned I was about one thing: the expressions. Their faces lacked emotions. My biggest concern was Timon who's the most expressive comic relief character, and Scar who is this mischievous character with a very wide range of sly expressions on his face showing his scheming. Will the scenes of emotions and comedy suffer from this realism?

So I didn't have great expectations of the movie when I started watching it but other than the impressive CGI, it's really telling if at the end of the movie I go ”Finally it's over!” which is in this case.

My concern was confirmed: the characters lack so much of the expressions and emotions, which was a huge sacrifice for the sake of realism. That was my biggest problem with the movie. Also, unlike ”Beauty and the Beast” remake and ”Maleficent” for example, it felt more like they only made this remake to cash in on people's nostalgia. It didn't fool me, I felt no nostalgia whatsoever. Just disappointment over how lame it felt.

Below are some scenes and character critiques that I particularly want to mention.

First up, Scar. I didn't like his voice. I'm not saying that Ejiofor did a bad job, it just doesn't fit his sly character. And just like the rest of the characters, the realistic animation sacrificed the facial expressions and emotions of Scar which was a huge part of his character. His voice didn't really replace that sacrifice. He didn't feel intimidating at all.

Speaking of intimidating, now we come to the hyenas. The only character who somewhat comes close to intimidating was Shenzi. She felt more of a threat than Scar was. I noticed two changes in this remake: one is the other two hyenas Banzai and Ed got a rename. Now they're called Kamari and Azizi. Ed, or now Azizi, even speaks and doesn't act as stupid and giggly as before. But none of them are any funnier, they've only become duller. None of their attempt of ”comedy” made me laugh, not even crack a smile. This change had no reasoning behind it (none that I know of) and feels pointless. I have no idea why they'd change two old fan favorites like that. But I do have to give some credit for the other change that was a bit more interesting – or it could just be my interpretation or simply a misunderstanding: Scar's alliance with the hyenas. In the original movie, Scar was portrayed as the leader of the hyenas from the start, even over Shenzi, but in this adaptation it seems more like Shenzi is the leader over the hyenas and Scar is the imposter who got them on his side because he promised them to enter the Pride Lands with food for the taking. Shenzi even dared to question Scar as if she challenged him (I would pay to see a cool backstory for remake-Shenzi instead of this movie). Shenzi is also the one who picked adult Nala as her opponent in the final fight for an actual reason. So yeah, Shenzi is good. But she didn’t save the movie, unfortunately.

While the hyenas weren't funny, the only character who are somewhat funny (despite the sad sacrifice of expressions for most comedic scenes) were Timon and Pumbaa. But I still have mixed feelings about them (which I'll mention below in the songs section) so they weren't my favorite characters in this movie, but more like they--along with Shenzi--were the better characters of the entire cast. At least the duo are the only ones that made me chuckle (which was my only close-to-laugh during the entire movie) and that was near the end of the movie. Not impressive when it took that long for me to laugh.

Then we have Rafiki. There are two things I'm bothered about this remake of him: he didn't have his iconic staff like in the original and I thought that maybe they removed the staff for the sake of realism (I would've expected that the staff would be gone anyway) but then near the end of the movie he pulls out his staff from the tree calling it ”old friend”. It feels like the staff was originally removed but then was forced in for the last scenes just as a nod to the fans, as it was a last-minute addition. That was my problem with the staff situation: first it wasn't there but then BAM! Rafiki brings it up calling it ”my old friend” as a last-minute nod to fans who'd hate to see it go, maybe to avoid a riot. It felt a bit tacky, Imo. But what made him into a less sympathetic character is that instead of mourning for the loss of his old friend Mufasa and the prince like in the original, he goes ”tsk-tsk-tsk”. Yeah, when my dad dies I'm gonna sit there during his funeral and go ”tsk-tsk-tsk”. Wtf Disney? I guess this is what they do instead of being able to show any emotions in the realistic animal faces.

I don't know what I can say about the other characters, even about the main protagonist Simba. They were just lame when they lacked the emotions and expressions that was part of the characters so I didn't feel any connection to them. They were just... there. Same name, same personality, but that's all. Even with James Earl Jones returning for voicing Mufasa didn't help (did Disney bring him back just to add to the nostalgic value hmm?), partly because I grew up with the Swedish dub so Mufasa's English voice didn't give the same impact to me as it may give to fans who grew with James Earl Jones as Mufasa.

As for scenes, we'll start with one with Rafiki and it was the most unnecessary and time-wasting scene I had to endure. I mean, I can't believe we have to watch an almost 3-minute long journey of a tuft from Simba's mane. It's the scene where Rafiki learns that Simba is still alive: Simba shakes his head, resulting in a small tuft of his mane gets loose and floats in the wind. But instead of a smooth transition and then within 15 seconds reach Rafiki like in the original, we see it be in various places and picked up by various animals that contributes to its progress, even being eaten by a giraffe before the scene fades to black... which is pointless when it just continues the journey but now we see the tuft in a ball of giraffe dung being rulled by a beetle. Eventually, which felt like ten long minutes, the tuft reaches Rafiki's tree with the help of an ant. It's almost like this prolonged scene is just there to fill more minutes of the movie. Also, that tuft of Simba's mane has been inside a giraffe and then pooped out, presumably smelling, and Rafiki was holding it so... ew.

Due to the realism in the animal faces which limits their expressions, there are a lot of emotional scenes that I used to love that lacks that emotion. No scene made me shed tears or fill me with a heavy heart, no scene made me feel that hope and warms my heart. A couple of examples:

The scene where Simba finds Mufasa’s body didn't give me any emotions, which is a disappointment as this is one of the saddest scenes in animation history. But I admit that JD McCrary who voices young Simba did a good job in delivering the sad voice and sounded legit like he was close to tears. That was the closest to real emotions in the film. Too bad the facial expression of the CGI lion cub didn't give what McCreary's performance deserves.

Another scene I find a lot of disappointed in was my favorite from the original movie; when adult Simba was talking to his father in the clouds. It always used to touch my heart because of how amazing it was with the music and the visualization in the sky and the emotions of awe in Simba' face. But this one was such a lackluster. It didn't move me in any way and I could barely see Mufasa (I guess his face appeared just with a blink of an eye a few times when lightning struck in the clouds but that was way too quick). They didn't even play one of my favorite instrumental music when Simba was running back to the Pride Lands. Sure, it's fine that they have at least one new song that wasn't in the original soundtrack before, but they did sacrifice such a motivational piece of music for it.

But the worst scene in the entire movie (if we don't count the songs) is when Scar betrays Mufasa and pushes him off the cliff. Instead of Mufasa saying "Scar! My brother! Help me!" with a pleading tone in his voice (this was a literal life and death situation), he just says "Scar! Help me!" as if it was an order. Then instead of whispering to his brother, Scar almost yells out "Long live the king!" before he literally bitch-slaps Mufasa so that he looses his grip. Why not shove him off like in the original movie when Scar was already digging his claws into Mufasa's paws like in the original movie? Also there was no zoom-in on the eyes of Mufasa when he realized the betrayal just before his death... but then again, those eyes would've been lifeless from expressions.

By the way, Scar is stupid when he's talking loudly about secrets, like before the final fight scene he gave away that he was responsible to Mufasa's death which convinced Sarabi of Simba's innocence despite Scar desperately tried to lie his way through. You really messed this up, Scar.

As for the songs in general, they were just... there. Only the opening song ”Circle of Life” is good enough for me. The rest both feel and sounded duller.

I was so disappointed in "I Just Can't Wait to be King". Due to the realism, there's no colorful background that complements the song and it feels bland (”Can You Feel the Love Tonight” and ”Hakuna Matata” suffers the similar thing). Even the song itself doesn't give any nostalgia to me. It looks kinda off to see realistic Simba sing, it's like an uncanny valley vibe. Again he lacks any expression, same with Zazu. When Timon sings ”Hakuna Matata” and ”The Lion Sleeps Tonight” with a wide-open mouth, it looks... odd. I don't see Timon singing, instead I see an animal screaming. For food or for help, either way works, but not singing.

However, the worst song in the entire movie was "Be Prepared" for so many reasons. One, I’ve already mentioned above that I think Scar's voice doesn't fit his character so his singing clearly can't top the original song (which is why I think it had to be changed a bit which I'll mention soon). Two, it doesn't have the dark and dramatic shadowing. Three, Scar's mischievous expressions are gone for the sake of realism so Scar just looks flat and awkward. Four, the song was changed and is now shorter so I was just sitting here getting confused of where it was going and thinking when the powerful chorus and the xylophone(?) instruments are gonna start and then you hear that final "Be Prepaaaaared!" from Scar before it zooms out without the echoing laughter of Scar and the hyenas, instead the last "Prepared" echoes before the scene fades to another scene. It just ends like that just as quick as the song started. Like, the heck was that? I get that they had to get rid of the army of hyenas marching, but this was just lame and lazy. This brings to the fifth reason: they just ruined one of the greatest Disney villain songs ever made. After watching the movie I've read that there was a rumor or concern that ”Be Prepared” wouldn't be in the movie. I'm kinda wishing it didn't make into the remake when they didn't even try making it look or sound great. Definitely not memorable.

...

This is just a half of everything I wanted to say about the movie, but I think I'll stop here after having said the more important bits that I wanted to rant about.

All in all, under all that gorgeous realistic CGI animation lies a lazy attempt at the remake with most scenes being shot-to-shot copies from the original, half-assed attempt at most songs when it comes to the visuals (or barely an attempt in ”Be Prepared”), lifeless expressions of the realistic animals and ruining the emotions of powerful and most memorable scenes just to cash in on people's nostalgia. Only Shenzi was the character who had some potential for something new and interesting but like I said, she didn’t save the movie for me.

At least they TRIED a lot more with ”Beauty and the Beast” remake and ”Maleficent” where they actually did good new changes that contributed more to the story. With ”The Lion King” remake they just upgraded it to look good but had to sacrifice the most important thing which is the expressions of colors and reactions in characters' faces. Even Beast's facial expressions had more emotions through all that makeup.

As for recommendation, if it wasn’t obvious enough I personally wouldn't recommend it. It's better to go back watching the 1994 animated classic instead of wasting time and money on it. Unless you’re a true nostalgic, then go ahead and enjoy it. I’m not judging anyone who likes or loves it. It was just personally a disappointment for me when it didn’t live up for my childhood favorite classic.

One final thing: you feel like reading my lengthy rant wasted your valuable time? That’s what it felt when I was watching the movie and finally came to the end, hence the “Finally it’s over!”.

The Christmas Prince (A Whoever You Want to Read With One-Shot)

        You two had made a deal.

         Shook hands and all, very solemn looks on your faces, promising one another a very simple thing.

         No gift exchanging on Christmas day.

(You'd just been laid off your job and it sucked balls, and he knew money was a bit short on your end and also knew you would never, in a gazillion years accept any money from him, so he started to come up with a bunch of lame ass excuses to make you feel a bit better.)

("It's cliché", he had snorted when you touched the subject "Exchanging Christmas gifts. Ugh. It was meaningful before but now it's just another "especial" date that lost it's core value to boost capitalism. I mean, you can be a crappy boyfriend all year round as long as you buy your girl an extra glittery Hallmark card and a Tiffany Bracelet, right?")

("Right." You had agreed, although not really, because as much as you found sexy as fuck when he used pretty words - core value, damn - you still flipping loved Christmas and looked forward to it all year long.)

        So no gift exchanging it was.

        You'd spend Christmas day with you family and he would spend it with his - you knew how rare it was for him to take some time to see them - but the day before, the 24th, you had him all to your own.

        Just "a casual dinner, the two of us" (his words, not yours) with some "classic Christmas movies, deal with it, loser" (your words, not his) at your place.

        Going out was a real pain nowadays, with the whole paps, fangirls, Snapchatters, etc thing, so to save yourself from the stress (how come he never failed to look like a Goddamn model on those candids whilst you looked like you were about to sneeze? Ugh.), staying in it was.

        In, with no gifts.

        Or at least you thought so, because mid afternoon on December 24th your iPhone seemed to gain a life of its own, all your social media accounts on a frenzy of notifications as, oh well, your famous as fuck of a boyfriend was spotted loading a box the size of a small poney into his car.

("She is so lucky!!!!!!")

("What did he get herrrrrrr i'd be happy just with his dick on box and by the size of it its prob that lol")

("Ugh i hope its a bomb")

(Insert other very sweet comments here.)

        You controlled the urge to text him (going against your über curious personality with all the strenghth your posessed), instead focusing on the fact that you were...

        Fucked.

        Because whilst your boyfriend was on the posession of a very big, flashy box (what you had no idea what was inside, Christ, what the hell was inside of it?!), you were in the posession of...

        "How The Grinch Stole Christmas", "Elf" and "The Polar Express".

(All masterpieces, in your humble opinion.)

        And the phone of the thai take out two blocks from your place.

(Best pad thai and sticky rice ever.)

(Plus it gave tons of free sriracha packets! Yay for free stuff!)

        But seriously, what the fuck were you supposed to give to a human being who seemed to have absolutely everything?!

        It'd be stupid to give him clothes - he got those for free -, you had no idea what his shoesize was (did that make you a horrible girlfriend? oops) and anything else you could think of was undoubtely lame. 

        What if you made him something?

        Okay so you didn't know how to draw or paint or knit or rhyme or write a song or do anything that required a minimum artistic vein slash handicraft talent but you could...

        Try?

        Throwing your body on the couch, your laptop literally on your lap, you sat on your ultimate comfy position - which he had lovingly nicknamed "Cirque Du Soleil's contortionist catching up on reality TV on it's free time" or "how you don't have a back problem is beyond me" (when he said that last one he totally reminded you of your mom) -, typing on the words that were responsible for many delayed papers at Uni and scurries off the house whilst almost tripping on your shoes as you were late as fuck.

        Pinterest dot com.

(A blessing and a curse to womankind, honestly.)

D. I. Y.

(Do it yourself.)

(Although you actually never did.)

        Scrolling down the screen - DIY baking soda shampoo! DIY mosaic tile birdbath using recycled DVD's! DIY Glittery Bath Bombs! - you noticed that all of them seemed to involve stuff everyone apparently had at home except you like glue guns or spray paint or Scrabble tile holders (...seriously) so after five minutes of Pinterest searching, you sighed in defeat.

(Hard effort wasn't your forte, you had to admit.)

        Even friendship bracelets are a hard task to accomplish when you have the skills of a three year old toddler and if you actually purchased a glue gun you could already picture yourself glueing nothing but your own fingers and spending Christmas Day at the ER.

        But you did have glitter glue, and that wasn't so dangerous was it?

        You also had an old, slightly crumpled piece of cardboard and a "DIY Easy Glittery Hallmark card tutorial!" (snort) at your screen, so you decided to give it a go.

        If it came out okay you'd be able to give him as an ironic gift?

("Oh hey, I know you gave me a super awesome/expensive/fancy/cool/thoughtful - insert whatever the hell could be inside that massive box here Christ the curiosity was killing you - but ha-ha-ha remember that snark you made about glittery Hallmark cards?! Instead of giving money to the greedy capitalist men I made one myself, how about that?! Aren't I the Best Girlfriend Ever?!?!?!")

        And if it came out like crap you could, y'know, throw it in the bin...

        ...So of course it came out like crap.

        Because you somehow managed to put more glitter glue on the tip of your fingers than on the goddamn cardboard, more glitter glue on your clothes as you absentmindedly rubbed your hands on it as you tried to think of what the hell you could do to save your "Merry Christmas" masterpiece.

(Trash.) (That was how you could save it, your dignity, your boyfriend's poor eyes and your dignity.)

(By throwing your masterpiece on the garbish.)

(Fuck ironic gifts.)

        Of course that instead of coming up with another idea after the Glittery-DIY-Hallmark-Card fiasco, your procrastinator side spoke louder, and click after click after click you found yourself going deeper and deeper of that pit called Pinterest, until you blazed on a section you'd never dared to venture on before.

        The recipe session.

        There were gooey chocolate chip bars, chocolate fudge brownies, kale and artichokes dip, quinoa fried "rice" (...why would someone all it fried "rice" if it had no rice in it only quinoa, you wondered...) and everything made your mouth water and stomach growl and you deeply wished there was someone who could make it for you.

        Everything sounded too tempting (and too hard and with too many fancy ingredients and kitchen appliances you'd never even heard of) until you found...

"Easy adaptable chocolate chip cookies with ingredients everyone has at home!!!!! Can be made vegan gluten/lactose/nut/anythying free paleo atkins insert random diet you'd never heard of before here"

        Well...

        Following a recipe wouldn't be that hard... Would it?

        Especially when you could sub eggs for oil if you didn't have any or oil for mashed banana or mashed banana for applesauce or applesauce for honey or honey for agave which were all obviously so much alike, right?

        Throwing everything you had into a single bowl - did you mention it was a single bowl recipe? Seriously, it could not get any better, your dishes-washing-hater-side thought - you frowned as you compared your final result to the one on the screen.

        Pinterest's batter: gooey but firm, looked so good you wouldn't mind spooning it raw directly into your mouth.

        Your batter: two year old's diarrhea, you wouldn't want to spoon it raw directly into your mouth not even if they paid you.

        You somehow managed to put little (balls, on Pinterest, blobs, sounded more accurate to your situation) blobs of the batter onto the baking sheet and onto the oven, too busy freaking out slash trying to understand what the hell you did wrong (ooh two american cups of flour? what were american cups? weren't your cups american? why america has to control everything for god's sake?!) to notice the door being unlocked, only realising you had company when you heard an amused chuckle behind you.

        Turning around so quick you almost broke your neck - fouet filled with sticky disgusting batter held in hand in a threatingly way - you found him staring, all long legs and perfect hair and mocking grin and...

        Empty hands?

        Where the hell was the box the size of a toddler he was seen loading into his car?!

        Goddamit, internet!

(And why did you feel a lil' bit disappointed I mean...)

(...you had him, hadn't you?)

(Best Christmas Gift Ever, am I right.)

        "Hi."

        "Hi. Were you..." A cute little frown appeared between his brows, pearly white teeth still on show as he asked "Baking?"

        Getting a bit defensive - why did he have to sound so confused/terrified? - you dropped the fouet on the sink, replying "Yes, why?"

        "Oh, for nothing! I mean, it smells..."

(Awful.)

        "Pretty good."

(Damn, he was a liar.)

        Leaning to check the oven temperature just one more time - I mean, better safe than sorry, you couldn't push your luck (any further) - you ignored your boyfriend's stare (a cute little smirk on his lips because well, he thought it was cute how you hadn't noticed the chocolate batter on your chin or how you wore an apron thrice your size), asking maybe a little too cheery "So, how's your Christmas eve going so far?"

( "...Loading too many big ass boxes onto your car?", you rhymed mentally.)

        "Well, not too good I mean, I only got to see my lovely lady today." He replied with a charming smile, expecting for you to giggle - alright, fine, he knew you weren't one to giggle, or at least give him love eyes.

        You squinted skeptically.

...Okay.

        "Empty handed, I see."

        "Yeah, kinda glad we decided to skip on that Christmas madness. Had to help a mate out with picking up a complete set of one of those fancy Le Creuset cooking things. Said his girlfriend would love it." He added with a scoff, rolling his eyes "I told him that if I gave you anything kitchen related you'd throw it in my head, but seeing you're apparently into cooking now..." He paused, pursing his lips "Should I write it down as a suggestion for your birthday?"

        Her mind went black.

        Kitchen appliances.

        His mate was giving his girlfriend freakin' casseroles and frying pans.

(Oh poor girl.)

(Poor, poor girl.)

(The disappointment when she opened that huge heavy box.)

(Damn.)

        And you had been freaking out the entire day thinking he'd gotten you something big and awesome and you'd look like the awful ungrateful girlfriend.

        Man, that ugly glittery card would look like heaven next yo, y'know... Nothing.

        "If you ever give me a damn casserole pan I shall rip off your little buddy of you, cut it into tiny little pieces, cook them in the freakin' thing and serve you for dinner." You stated, and he replying, giving you a kiss on the forehead  "Aw, see? I know you so well."

        God, you were glad he didn't get you anything.

        Because being with him was the best gift you could've ever asked for.

(Insert vomiting and cringing here.)

(Fuck you never thought you would be THIS gross and disgusting and loving about any human being in your life after your miserable string of awful break-ups.)

(Yet there you were, with your very own prince charming.)

(Yup, that was it, you guys would be watching The Christmas Prince on Netflix.)

        You showed your appreciation by getting on the tips of your toes and pecking him on the lips, the little wrinkle of confusion between his forehead making you want to kiss him even more.

(How was possible for someone to be so cute slash sexy at the same damn time?)

(Seriously.)

(Ugh.)

        But then, maybe you'd been too distracted by his pouty pink lips - no chapstick or anything, you wondered how the hell he managed to get them always so soft and puffy and kissable - to check the oven...

        And the whole room started to smell a bit smokey.

        And look a bit smokey.

        "Fuck, my Pinterest cookies!" You squealed, startling him.

        You were sort of thankful your fire alarm wasn't working so well, because if the firemen showed up because you almost burned your kitchen down, your landlord would have (even more) reasons to hate you.

        "It looks... Edible." Your boyfiend said matter of fact, poking one of your cookies at the tray with the tip of his fingers with brows furrowed.

        They looked like baby alien fetus.

(Edible, in some outer galaxy cultures, probably.)

        "Want to try them?" You knew by the raise of his eyebrow that it was a challenge, a thing you rarely passed.

        Daringly, you got one - dropping it back to the tray because damn they were hot -, trying it again after a few seconds of you two staring at each other with "Who Shall Quit First" eyes.

        Was he going to make you eat them first?

        By the fake tight ass smile he was giving you, he was...

        So with the biggest grin you could muster, you squeaked "Merry Christmas baby! I made these for you! Hope you like them!"

(Or at least don't get food poisoning and die! Please don't get food poisoning and die! I kinda really really really really really like you!)

(And if you die because of me slash my cookies your fans will murder me!)

        With a small gulp, he picked one of the alien fetus cookies, shaking it off so they wouldn't be "too hot and burn his tongue" for about three minutes.

        You kinda knew he was trying to make as many tiny pieces of it fall out so he'd eat as less of a cookie as possible, but you didn't call him out on it because oh well, he was at least going to eat a teeny bit of them.

        And in the end, after a bit of fake awing "Oh, tastes so good babe" and maybe spitting on a napkin when you turned around to throw the dirty dishes on the sink, he did eat your alien fetus cookies.

        What made him the best boyfriend slash Christmas present ever.

        And after drinking maybe a bit too much wine and watching The Christmas Prince, he drunkenly vowed to never ever give you anything cooking related - as the cookies now rested in peace in your trashcan, on top of your ugly ass glittery card -, and that vow would be proved to be a gift that kept on giving.

(I mean, it would give stomach aches and calls to the fire fighters and be a total waste of ingredients, so you were cool with that.)

(And even if he never gave you anything at all, he dealt with your craziness, your PMSing, you overreacting whenever you let your - very expensive - makeup fall onto the floor, never watched Game of Thrones episodes without you and always let you eat the biggest last slice of cheesecake.)

        And if that wasn't much of a proof of real, true love, you had no idea of what the hell it could be.

           And that was the greatest gift of all.

(Cue to cringing due to cheesyness again.)

-------

MERRY CHRISTMAS U GUYSSSSSSSSS!

Hope y’all have a fantastic one and find all you wanted under the tree! ooh and if you liked it pls don’t forget to click on that like button (i’ve been watching too many youtube vids send help)

lots lots of love

Gabe

ps: i’d like to dedicate this to my favorite humans on earth victoria, nina and lari, who are still my friends even after i’ve been through probably 30 different mental breakdowns this year, love you guise so muchhhhhhhh thanks for always encouraging me to write!!! oh and if you haven’t read my stories based on them you can find them all here 

Favorite MM Romance Books: Caught Running

Caught Running by Madeleine Urban and Abigail Roux was my first foray into proper published MM that did not read completely like bad fanfiction, and I have to say, I could not have made a better pick.

Spoiler free review:

The book follows Jake and Brandon - former schoolmates, who years later ended up teaching at their old school. In youth, Jake was the popular jock, while Brandon was a typical nerd, but beneath their cliche exteriors both men had more to them than the stereotypes they appeared to embody. Nonetheless, the strict social dynamics of highschool life kept them from discovering each other. Until now.

The characters of Jake and Brandon were an absolute joy to read. They were definitely based on tropes, and even the way they weren’t really as one sided as they seemed was a bit on the cliche side. However, their little personal quirks and *gasp* actual personality traits really did make them extraordinarily compelling characters. At least for the genre. And they seemed to adapt to their situations in realistic patterns, which definitely added to the raw feel of the book.

Jake especially surprised me. That man felt alive. The way he portrayed himself, as well as his rather dark struggles, it all seemed like a real person’s life, a real person’s story. This may have been because his motivations did not merely make logical sense, but psychological sense as well. You could tell why he acted the way he did, why he made the choices he did, even if some of them weren’t exactly optimal, and that definitely added to the realism of his character.

Brandon had a similar charm as well, even if I didn’t feel the same connection to him. He was also a person in his own right. Just maybe not quite as interesting as Jake, in my opinion. Either way, both MCs were extremely likable.

The side characters, though, could have used a bit more work. Don’t get me wrong, the story was by no means set in a vacuum, and I was actually rather impressed by how the teacher’s jobs didn’t take a complete back seat as their romance came to the forefront. But there was definitely a lack of important side cast. Though Jake’s friends were cool and the limited characterization they got was enough to make me feel at least a smidgen of connection with them (nice job to the authors on that one), one character in particular stood out as not only a complete cliche, but an unnecessary headache as well. She was only there to build cheap tension the book really didn’t need and I would have honestly preferred the book without her. It’s quite ironic, actually. She seemed to be written in as the biggest nuisance in the story and ended up the biggest nuisance to my enjoyment of the book.

Another qualm I have with the writing, especially prominent and rather distracting in the beginning, were the POV shifts. They were constant and had no warning whatsoever. This made some parts rather confusing and required me to reread paragraphs just to understand who was talking more than once. I wish the author had done a better job signaling these, as that would have made the book flow 100x smoother. That being said, beyond the first couple chapters, where you still don’t know the characters or their situation, and that one absolutely incomprehensible scene where the MCs are each talking to a different set of extras across the room from each other (why, authors, why did you do this), the book flows fine later on. It’s just a matter of getting used to it, and though it can be hard to slog through the first fifth because of it, trust me, it’s worth it.

Before we move on to talking about the romance and the smutty smutty times in the second part of the book, I want to quickly address something else that could turn away some readers, and that is the baseball talk. A lot of this book is centered on highschool baseball. Now, I have never played baseball and know nothing about the game, so if I enjoyed this book, anyone can. That being said, if you’re a newbie like myself, you’ll either have to do a lot of googling, or just accept that you won’t be able to understand some parts in full. The story does still make sense and you can understand a lot from context cues, but do be aware of this.

Okay, now we can move on to something more exciting: the ROMANCE.

Brandon and Jake were super freaking sweet. You could really feel their connection build organically from the very first page and the way it shifted from colleagues to friends and finally to something more was just an absolute dream to read. One of my favorite things about their relationship was how clear it was why they liked each other. This wasn’t a case of Twilight-esque instalove. No, these men were both amazing in their own right, and only when they saw each other for just how amazing they were did they start having feelings. And that was simply perfection. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to have the reason people fall in love be because they see something great in one another that others cannot. I love that. It’s almost like an acknowledgement, a validation of their character, and it creates an extremely deep bond. You can really feel that they were special and different to each other because the reason they fell in love was due to understanding, knowing, and appreciating the other more than anyone else could. It’s honestly beautiful.

Furthermore, the way they approached each other felt more real than I had ever experienced in a book (or fanfic) before. It was so real. So, so real. I cannot explain to you just how raw and realistic the romance in this book appeared, so I will just leave you with this: they didn’t act like toddlers and they didn’t act like robots. They acted like real people with real worries, jobs, responsibilities, and absolutely irresistible feelings they just had to act on, even if cautiously, even if they had to feel each other out beforehand, and oh man it was a fantastic read.

And there was definitely some sexual tension there as well, which turned electric in the later chapters, and that brings me to a part we’ve all been waiting for: the SMUT

OH BOY THE SMUT

OH MAN

OH JESUS

The smut was glorious.

There wasn’t a lot of kink or anything like that, and for my taste it was all pretty vanilla, but the sheer amount of tension and emotion built up slowly throughout the whole first half of the book (yes, this baby’s a slow one) definitely paid off in spades. It was shiver-inducing. And there was a lot of it. Like, a lot. If you feel like the book isn’t sexy enough in the first half, do not fret. The second half is smut after smut after smut, and oh boy do we love to see it. Those men are smexy and lovely and Jake was so seductive and passionate and fiery and ajksdhgkjshdka and Brandon was also cute and took initiative and imma stop talking but just know it’s really good.

So yeah *clears throat* final thoughts.

Go read this book.

Fan of MM? Go read this book.

Fan of sweeter than life romance? Go read this book.

Fan of compelling characters? Go read this book

Fan of fun and passionate smut? Go  read  this  book.

And if you have read this book, or perhaps want it spoiled for you for some God-forsaken reason, here are my thoughts including spoilers.

Spoiler-filled thoughts:

Jake’s pill problem was resolved a bit cheaply. I do think it was handled well in the beginning of its resolution, but they kind of dropped the ball later on, or should I say they dropped the storyline. I did find the way Brandon helped him handle it quite sweet and not too far-fetched. But the fact that it was never really addressed again shows either a lack of importance that is inappropriate for something so serious, or implies the issue was solved just like that, which is plain unrealistic.

Furthermore, the resolution with Misty was just kind of sad. No, scratch that, Misty’s whole storyline was sad. I thought she was going to be a genuine problem at the start. I thought she would find out and expose them at a terrible time or something, and I was waiting for her to actually become an effective villain, but she just... never did. I have no idea why they put her in the story.

Finally, the ending was too smol. I wanted more. I really, truly wanted so much more than one friend of Jack’s finding out about them. I mean, homophobia was a bit of a theme in this book, so to have the whole resolution be that was just unsatisfying. Paired with the supremely easy and kinda stupid plot with Misty that went nowhere, as well as the weak resolution with the pills, the story almost feels like it was cut off abruptly in the middle. Nothing really got resolved outside the romantic and sexual tension. And don’t get me wrong, it could have been much worse, but it’s just a little annoying is all.

Personal thoughts (ft spoilers):

I am a HUGE sucker for the “we knew each other in childhood, didn’t meet for years, and then rediscovered one another and fell in love” trope. And while this story wasn’t exactly that, considering Brandon and Jake weren’t that familiar with each other back then, it still brought some delicious reminiscence and slight, almost rueful angst into the mix. Loved it.

Loved the descriptions of how Jake saw Brandon from his POV and the way Jake moved in Brandon’s POV (eg. stalked, prowled...). Made him seem super ultra passionate and instantly brought a vibrant image to my mind. Brandon calling him “Thundercat” was also great. It was freaking cute and worked for the characters.

Liked that there wasn’t a too obvious fem/masc dynamic. Made the boys feel real and unique.

Loved Jake far too much and Brandon was adorable. This whole book was just fantastic and they carried it on their broad shoulders with ease.

Do I recommend: YES

Score: 8.5/10

Verdict: Great book with fantastic characters, a sweet and realistic romance, smexy smut, and some not insignificant, but not insurmountable issues specifically to do with side characters and certain plots. Worthy of a READ IT ASAP

I wanted to identify with Elizabeth Smart

but I can’t honestly say I can. I mean obviously I havent been through what she went through. 

I just watched both the Lifetime movie and the 3 part special on A&E about her. Finally getting her story. We all wondered, didn’t we? I mean we were all invested in her story when we heard on the news she got kidnapped, and we were all overjoyed for her unexpected return, but I felt sort of cheated that I didn’t get to hear the story when she came back. So i tuned in to finally know what happened to her now that she is finally talking about it. 

My story is nothing like hers. I was physically and mentally abused in my own home by my fathers’ 2nd wife, after he got remarried. I was about 8 or 9 give-or-take when she started being abusive. My father worked long hours and had a long commute and I was basically left in the custody of the woman I call “My Evil Stepmother” and her two daughters.

Yeah, I know its not even close to the same thing, but as i grew up and read stories of other people’s experiences, I’ve always identified more with POWs and kidnapping victims than children that grew up in abusive households.

I put the difference down to being OK and raised by loving and caring people until I was about 8 or 9 give-or-take. So I knew this woman was crazy and wrong. Always. 

So I *do* identify with Elizabeth Smart in the parts where she says that she never had Stockholm Syndrome and that she was adapting to survive. And I do identify with her for not speaking up and saving herself sooner. I had those moments too when I could have said something to the right person to save myself but I didn’t. 

I really like how she tells her story and reframes it all and paints herself as the hero. I think thats a great way to look at it. From what I know of my own experiences, its probably her best coping skill. But I feel like I probably would have identified more with her story if I’d heard more of the sad parts.

She doesnt owe me or anyone that. And I’m glad she doesn’t feel like she needs to tell the sad parts again and again. I don’t feel like I do either. But I was a very sad child. I cried constantly because my life was torture and I had no forseeable way out. Not because the resources to help me out didn’t exist, but because I was a kid and I didn’t know who to say what to to get myself out of the situation. So I just cried a lot. and did what I had to do to make my life, in my current situation, as bearable as possible, by playing along with the nonsensical whims and bizarre fictional universe she created for me to play along with. 

So I kinda wanted to hear the details of this “religion” Elizabeth Smart’s captors created for her. Because I was made to live in a fictional story my stepmother had made up that had its own set of rules and language, etc. I think thats the part I wanted to relate to, knowing she was speaking in thees and thous and talking of him like he was a prophet and such when she knew fully well none of this was true. 

But she seemed more focused on telling the story of how she convinced him to go back to Salt Lake, enabling her own rescue. And that’s cool.

I don’t have that story to tell. I just grew up and went to college far away and literally was out of grasp of her bullshit. It even took me a few years, because I related to the family in this way, to wake up fully and say.. yeah im not playing this stupid game anymore or pretending anything to any of these people anymore.

When I’d just turned 16, I called a child abuse hotline and finally told someone and they said i was old enough to leave and i should just leave. Which was preposterous because I was kid and I had no one to go to or anywhere to go and no money and no way to get anywhere. So I stayed. 

Never brought any criminal charges against this woman who spent years randomly attacking me physically and doing her best to fuck w me as much as possible to try to mess me up as much as she could.

I fought back by not being messed up. I saved myself by adapting and surviving. Which is why I didn’t leave. Which is why Elizabeth Smart didn’t leave. Maybe I do identify with her. Falling in line minimizes your own suffering. She was a kid and she wasn’t in a safe situation, so it makes sense she couldn’t be sure she would be safe if she said something to someone sooner. 

I remember my guidance counselor in High School stopping me in the hall and asking me a question and then calling me by the name my Evil Stepmother called me at home........... so i knew he’d been talking to her. Because I didnt go by that name in school. It was part of her psycho bullshit, not anything I wanted to be called. So i knew he couldn’t be trusted and I never told him either. 

Maybe if I’d told him straight up that’s her psycho bullshit and its basically her abuse name for me he would have saved me. But it came across like he was my enemy. So I get why it took Elizabeth Smart 45 mins to admit who she was once she was alone with police who had been looking for her for 9 mos. 

So I guess I do identify with her in some ways. I think I wanted to identify with her in more. I’m not sure why. I think in the break between her reappearance and her telling her story, I imagined it to be a story I could identify with better. 

I’m glad shes OK. 

I’m glad I’m OK too. 

My evil sister once said to me that our story wasn’t even good enough to make it on a talk show because I wasn’t being sexually abused. But I think our story was plenty messed up. I think it wouldnt make a good lifetime movie because it didn’t make any sense and it didnt have a good ending. I just eventually stopped playing along little by little till I wasn’t playing along at all anymore.

And I was graduated from college and living several states away by then.

What happened for me was that my friend’s kid turned 8. and I was like.. wow. .. really??? WTF is wrong w a person who can treat a freakin’ 8 yr old like that?!?!  I needed her to be that age I was to put it in perspective for me what that really means. This adult woman looked at 8 yr old me and decided I need to be taken down a notch. For real. 

That’s fucked up. 

and I was gone. 

Maybe its cause Elizabeth Smart had a family to go back to that I don’t identify with her. I don’t have a family to go back to. I had a good one till I was 8, but then it was over and I had no one but me to count on and I was just surviving day to day. 

I would imagine, when I was young, that one day, I would grow up and move away and live in an apartment in a city like That Girl and have a job and friends and wacky adventures. 

That’s pretty much how I turned out, so I consider myself a success. 

Elizabeth Smart said she imagining finding her Prince so I guess it makes sense she married what seems to be a rich Scottish man. 

Maybe I should have imagined my future with more money or something. Maybe that’s why I don’t identify with her. She just had 9 mos of the worst life ever and then went back to the life that was taken away from her.

I never got mine back.

I wonder if my Dad understood/believed the mistake he’d made and chose to divorce that woman and protect me instead of standing by her. If he’d said, “Oh.. i screwed up bad here...” and fixed it. or tried to fix it.. in 9 mos or even a few years.. or at any point for that matter... 

I wonder if my dream wouldnt have been just to live on my own. I wonder if I’d be someone entirely different. 

Not that there’s anything wrong w/the me I am today.

I just wonder. 

Peak Design Everyday Backpack - My history with EDC bags.

I have a problem.

I like bags. 

Like, a lot.

It’s more complicated than that though. I also hate bags.

A lot.

Ok, I’ll explain. As an Industrial Designer, I tend to pick apart products a lot. Especially ones that I purchase. Especially especially ones that I use A LOT. And even more so ones that I rely on for keeping part of my sanity. I define those items as ones that I use consistently and repetitively, in more or less the same way over and over. I am a creature of habit. Very strong, often unusual or quirky habit. Just ask my wife. And I need those specific items to fit/mold my habits in a way that is pleasing, smooth, and doesn’t mess with my mojo.

Enter my bag dilemma. 

I first remember having this issue around when I entered college and purchased my first car - a ‘92 fire-engine red Jeep Cherokee Limited. I needed a backpack at the time, and purchased some heavy duty Jeep branded backpack from their official site. It was my first considered bag purchase. The bag was a workhorse; strong, heavy duty, virtually un-breakable, waterproof, and pretty comfortable. And bright blue. It featured some basic front pocket organization, a slimmer front pocket for the little quick items, and otherwise was just a gaping hole of storage, with 2 equally massive side pockets. I loved this thing. Still do, but I also started to hate it, at least for my EDC bag. It was too big, could rarely fit under an airplane seat, and lacked main pocket organization (my biggest issue with bags in general; more on that later). I learned to appreciate it for what it was (a cavernous rugged backpack), and still use it for that purpose, but needed a new EDC bag.

Thanks to some Nissan test-drive promo, and the fact that they ran out of free watches, I got a random Kenneth Cole fabric messenger bag. I wasn’t super enthused at first, but this turned out to be a pretty great bag. And I found the general layout of a messenger bag to be preferable as an EDC, in that while the main opening can still be cavernous, the “landscape” orientation helped me dig through the crap to find what I wanted, and by nature opened up more so I could see inside. It also allowed me to swing it around and access said cavern without removing the bag. It also offered a simple but unique combination of organization pockets that just clicked with me.

But as college progressed, and technology with it, I needed to start carrying a laptop daily (and a behemoth one at that; stupid design school requirements), and this didn’t do the trick. So I did a stint with a Targus (yes, regrettable) giant 17″ widescreen messenger bag I found at Marshall’s that carried more like a briefcase, until my new in-laws bought me a fantastic upgrade: a Timbuk2 Outttawhack convertible bag. This thing was/is SO cool. Carries like a messenger, briefcase, or backpack with tuck-away backpack straps. Super unique, thought out, and still injects designer-endorphins into my brain when I use it. And it fit my beast of a laptop. 

But alas, as is the case with many 3-in-1 products, it’s a jack of all trades but master of none. It was neither comfortable as a backpack nor messenger. The backpack straps were on a kind of funky angle too. It lacked a water bottle pocket (apparently I found out how much I cared about this; I had to make a custom one). But the organization was pretty solid. Especially for a Timbuk2 bag (more on that next). But it did feature an issue I’ve found with Timbuk2 bags. They are designed for right-handed carry. I am a righty, but for some reason I do 2 things lefty; ride a skateboard and wear a messenger, the latter of which makes them annoying for me.

But I was kinda poor at the time, and still liked how cool this bag was, and it fit my massive laptop, so I trudged on for a couple years making do with this while part of my brain longed to go back to my trusty Kenneth Cole.

Graduation came, as did the start of my first design job, and I no longer needed to carry a laptop daily anymore, so back to the Kenneth Cole I went. And I was happy.

And on to my next design gig too. And the next one. The trusty Kenneth Cole went with me. And when the strap pad ripped, I bought a great Timbuk2 replacement pad. 

Enter another issue with my being a designer; boredom. Yes, this is often at odds with my being adverse to change and my strong habits. I know. It’s a problem. Add to that a desire to find a product a little better, and my eyes started to stray from trusty KC. 

Starting another design gig, I decided to “reward” myself with a new bag. I had a budget, around $100-$150, and at this point required something that could give my KC bag a run for its money, and conquer one issue I had never been able to resolve with my KC bag: travel.

While I loved my KC bag for EDC, it just did not cut it for travel. Messengers are uncomfortable to wear for long hauls of heavy loads (compared to backpacks), and it just didn’t have the gear space. Especially since I am always traveling with a basic staple of Orthodox Judaism: my Phylacteries and prayer shawl. These are used during morning prayers (which I often need to recite en route) and are pricey, so they stay in carry-on luggage. This parcel is about the size of an airplane pillow and blanket bundled together, and my travel bag needs to hold it in addition to regular travel basics (which always includes some degree of camera gear). 

I also simply hated the process of transferring everything from my EDC to travel bag and back again.

So I was now searching for a bag that could carry a bit more than what most people would need during travel, but would still not be too large as an EDC bag.

 After about a month of research, and ordering about 15 bags form Amazon to try (yay free returns), I landed on my Timbuk2 Command 2.0. This was a very good bag, and I used it mostly happily for close to 5 years for both EDC and most travel, but was never fully satisfied. It had a few very specific problems that got me eventually hunting for a new EDC bag during my next job transition (especially when I learned the new gig would require significant travel with a hefty laptop):

1) Organization. Timbuk2 generally uses the inside of the main compartment for pens and small organization. I hate this. I want this kept separate so pulling out a sweatshirt from the main pocket won’t send all my pens flying out on the floor of terminal B at O’Hare.

2) Made for a righty. The side access napoleon pocket, which I like in theory, is only easily accessible for right-handed carry style. Same with the water bottle pocket. It’s a small quirk, but awfully annoying when present numerous times every day for YEARS. 

3) Not quite the right size. This could handle some travel, but nothing major, nothing with a DSLR kit, and still hurt like any messenger with weight or time. And a big laptop was still not an option. The trusty Jeep bag was still my main travel buddy.

There was lots to like about this bag. Quality was solid, the color was bright red, TSA laptop pocket (for a medium laptop), extendable luggage handle pass-through, and some nice pockets, but overall fell short of what I needed.  

Add another layer of complexity to this tote conundrum: my DSLR.

I’ve mentioned this thing a few times already, and for good reason. It really messes with what kind of bag you can/want to carry. In most instances, it feels like you need to make a choice; camera first or carry first. Bags I’ve been through are either primarily camera focused, but can also carry ordinary stuff along with it, or it’s a regular bag, and you’re on your own for how to fit in camera gear.

Problem is, I like to bring my camera with me when I go places. But I’m also picky about my bag. These don’t marry well. My first route to address this was to bring a dedicated camera bag with me when I traveled. First mistake was this random bag I bought from Deviant Art when they phased out selling gear.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

It’s a shoebox with camera storage inserts and a sling strap. It’s not comfortable. It’s not practical. NEXT.

For the next purchase, I did some digging, and put some thought into it. I got this Lowerpro sling bag, and was really happy with my purchase at first. It was smaller, understated, didn’t scream “camera here!”, and could carry some basic daily essentials along with my basic camera kit. But the killer here was the whole lefty-thing again. The bag is made strictly for right-handed style carry, and I could not get used to it. Add to that the annoyance of having to travel with an extra bag just for camera gear, and I outgrew this bag after just 2 trips.

I ultimately settled on the Timbuk2 Snoop Camera Insert and would try to fit this in whatever bag I traveled with. Yeah, not any easier than it sounds. 

So begins my search for my ultimate bag. I started a new job, with roughly monthly domestic travel, plus 1-2 international trips a year between work and personal, and I now needed to carry a semi-hefty laptop on occasion for either working remotely or traveling with. So I was looking for a bag that would satisfy all of the below:

1) Masterful Organization, especially in the main “big” pocket. Handful of writing instruments, mini Moleskin, battery backup, charging cables, multi-tools, knives, spork, water bottle, giant headphones, lunch, some occasional documents, some quick access pockets, and adaptability to also hold my laptop, more charging cables, reading material, and more robust pack of sketch tools, camera gear, and maybe more. Most importantly, give me some control of how I put stuff in that big main compartment. 

2) DSLR/Camera carry. I often travel with my DSLR. Not always, but often. And it can make choosing a bag for a trip very complicated. Will I be able to access the camera quickly? Will it be secure and protected? It also adds a level of complexity to my travel bag being the daily carry upon my arrival. On that note...

3) Travel buddy/EDC buddy. I want this bad to make the ultimate transition. Be my daily companion, and my travel hauler. Comfortable for the commute or a hike. And storage that can work and transform smoothly for both. Eliminate the need for another bag, and remove the extra hassle of transferring from bag to bag when traveling.

4) Backpack carry. I’d be taking the train for this job, which involves a couple miles of walking a day. Add that to the monthly trips through airports and messengers were out of the question here. But give me options to tote this thing with side handles and such.

5) Water bottle carry. Not wimpy either. I want this on both sides, and I want a pocket big enough to water a large man.

6) Laptop carry. My work laptop is known as a “mobile workstation.” It’s a 15″, but not like a 15″ Macbook. It’s a beast. It’s thick. It’s heavy. And it needs to fit in this bag.

7) Svelte, but spacious. I need a bag that looks good, and can be somewhat compacted when I don’t need it to be massive. I’m a big dude, so my frame can work with a larger bag, but I also don’t wanna knock out people standing around me on the train. On the other hand, if I need to load this with my DSLR kit, prayer accouterments, laptop, and travel goodies, I need this to haul it all, and still work as my daily carry when I get to where I’m going. 

6) Be awesome. At this point in my career, I like my accessories to be generally awesome, and be long-term. Unique. Great stories. Fantastic products. This bag will need to bring the cool factor up. And continue making me happy for years, so that I don’t have to go through this process again for a while.

So I embarked on what ended up being a 6 month discovery process of bags. Which I enjoyed. But which also stressed me out. And ultimately led me to my Peak Design Everyday Backpack 30L in Charcoal. To be continued...

So! New sessions with friends! we watched from 105 to 117! So we watched the first part of the attack on the castle session, from Knov infiltrating the palace  up to after the “Since it’s none of your business” scene and Knuckle coming back to fight Youpi!

A. is Her, T. is Him.

-A: “I’m trying to avoid the spoilers of your blog. It’s hard it’s like Hisoka avoiding Gon’s punch. So far all i know is the last thing about Kurapika, it was hard to ignore… i know Leorio is getting some place with i dont know what and Zodiac stuff, i dont know what it is. and i know Meruem died like he lived: heterosexual”

 -T: “Knov’s plan is good… but it’s as tight to play as that other guy’s thong.” T: “….. it’s gonna end up on tumblr right?” 

 -As knov uses his power to behead an ant, T: “fuck thats cool!! if you could do that in assassins creed…”

 -A, at the begining of Morel v Leol: “i knew Morel was a Metalhead. it showed.” 

 -A: “i want a blog full of out of context picture of hxh” 

 -A: “why are they fighting on orangina”

-they squeed when ikalgo was back. T finds his hat cute akdhkd 

 -T: “TAKE THE OCTOPUS WITH YOU” A:“DONT TAKE HIM WITH YOU KEEP HIM OUT OF DANGER” 

 -A: “please tell me nothing happens to the octopus”

 -T: “I seriously love this octopus. he’s an exemple for us all “

 -Pouf started to be overdramatic and they stared in horror like A: “… is he okay? the ultimate dramaqueen omg. its like a shojo”

 -as Youpi looking at Pouf’s breakdown T: “*voicing youpi* the job is great but the colleague, no so much” 

 - A: “Don’t bother going with a plan against the King, just play gungi against him until he rips all his limbs. like Gon, don’t fight him, just tell him to jump off a cliff and he will”

 -A, at Pouf: “arent you done being the third wheel”

 -A: "It’s not easy for Youpi to be with both Pouf and Pitou at this point…” 

 -They started laughing at the King asking for his name to the royal guards

 -when the king says he’s King and dominate everything: A: “meanwhile you get completely controlled by a blind girl. and i thought he was getting better, but hes just a moron” 

 -Narrator : “one day before the selection…” A: “....and the king is more straight than ever” 

 -We made a pause to prepare some tea. as we did i joined T. in the kitchen and he jumped bc he didnt hear me come. direct reaction: T: “tf why did you supress your nen”. my friends are dorks 

 -Morel: “who could have hurt the king? ”  A: “himself, like a huge moron” 

-A: “omg Pouf is a Butterfree ” 

 -A: “i don’t think I’m reassured to see “you can try” on the old man”

-T: “where the fuck is the old man, he’s supposed to be the one attacking the King and we’ve never seen him again, we’re ten minutes to the attack on the castle” 

-As the king is giving the order to lift the En:  A" “hes a moron. but he makes it easy for everyone…” 

 -A: “I’m just saying that if you let them all three more weeks, the king will tears away all his limbs, Pouf will kill himself and you’ll just need to stop the selection and the other two and everything will be fine. or Youpi will end up killing Pouf because he can’t stand the violin anymore” 

 -T: “It’s the plan: Gon has no plan so he could adapt to any situation” 

 -Killua: “why would the king hurt himself?” A: “because he’s as stupid as Gon” 

 -A: “i like Morel. he’s the cool guy” T: “he’s like the cool uncle” A: “it’s good a character with some nerves” T: “at the same time with all the weed….” 

 -A:“why do Knuckle even remove his jacket? it must be a condition for his power. be shirtless.” 

 -A: “I’m curious who Netero brought… it couldn’t be Ging right??? it would be a mess T: “its probably someone op af” 

 -they screamed when Zeno came on screen, they didn’t expect him -

when Zeno recorded message starts, T: “dont tell me it’s his sextape” 

 -A: “Zeno is a vlogger” 

-A: “Netero was good looking when he was young” T: “True” 

 -A: “I love interesting old characters” 

 -At Netero’s training: A: “what was his motivation, did someone break up with him” 

 -T. considers Netero’s fighting style is really too cool. he loves it. they both argue he’s really good looking while young 

-Netero: “I’ll teach you if you give me stuff to eat”, T: “god thats me” 

 -as the attack starts: A: “Chloé i don’t like your smile i’m scared” 

 -A: “Killua is like in Good Omens: “It’s a family business. we gotta go” 

 -they were extremely quiet at the realization Komugi was wounded, during the scene we discover it. They were really into the intensity of the moment, it was seriously chilling

 -T: “it’s fun because after all those slowmo the opening of the episode is like at normal speed”

 -A: “i don’t mind the slowmo. they make clear that it is because too many things are happening at once. although i do hope it speds up a little…” 

 -they find Youpi disgusting and they yelled “no” when they thought he was gonna kill Morel

 -they really like Morel and Knuckle and Shoot and when Shoot hit Youpi to get Morel’s weapon, they cheered and want them to be safe forever 

 -Me: “it’s interesting how killua kept telling Gon to stay focused on Pitou but still go out of his way to protect Ikalgo while Gon stays motivated, you would expect the opposite”  A:“tbh i dont care as long as the octopus is okay” 

 -when Killua kills the guy to protect Ikalgo, T: “you call that supressed their ability to fight, I’m calling that murder. he overkilled.” 

 -A: “Pouf kinda looks like Kurapika.” Pouf: *acts dramatic* A: “okay no never mind” 

 -A: “no but Pouf is pretty and it’s a fucking butterfly I’m jealous” 

 A: “couldnt they teach him another music to play with his violin im.” 

 -Narrator: “pouf is at the limit of fanatism” T: “ye, on the other side of the limit, he’s totally into it” A:“i’d say he’s in love”

 -A: “i almost pity Pouf” T: “well he’s the least cruel one..” 

 -as Gon sees the king A: “no Gon!! it’s too big for you!!” 

 -same scene: A: “i don’t like Gon’s look… Killua if you want to knock him down it’s now”

 -T: “A DRAGON. I always side with the dragon. *sings* calm on my dragon ” 

 -in the “let’s go” scene: A: “i dont like Gon’s look… i dont like Killua’s look… I’m so scared of what’s gonna happen it’s… scary.” 

 -A: “i don’t like the idea that they’re gonna have to chose if they want to kill Pitou and Komugi or not… I don’t like the idea they’ll be in the same room as Pitou anyway…” 

 -A: “Pouf is a fucking pokemon”

-Narrator: “Shoot fights recklessly withot caring for his life” A: “at the same time when you learn from Gon…”

 -T: “let’s be real tho we’re just all waiting for the fight between the king and the sensei” 

-A, at Welfin: “i… honestly don’t know what to say about that thong tho.” 

 -Gon and Killua just arrived in Pitou’s room. they are scared at Gon’s eyes  

-Killua: “Pitou is like a mother protecting her kid” A: “*immiting Killua* “oh the complete opposite of mine” 

 -as Gon’s eyes are empty: T: “he’s really scary…” A:“he reminds me of illumi…” 

 -They are seriously scared for Gon. now they understand why i’m upset the anime removed Kite. They realize from what I explained that it was a stronger blow for Gon and the audience to know Kite from the start.

 -The “since it’s none of your business” scene just happened. (also it was well translated in the French sub version so yay). They are. speechless. but they react the same way i did the first time, ie, more worried for Gon’s mental state than anything. 

 -Gon: “I’m fine” T: “he’s not fine” 

 -We discussed a bit about Gon’s and Killua’s mental health so far and development and they really agree with me. they are concerned for both, since eventually it would have been solved if they talked, since neither talked about their troubles up to that point. but they feel for both of them and see how this happened, and i didnt have to argue too much about it, I’m glad. 

 -We rementioned the gi arc. T: “oh the good old times where the only problems were bombs.”  Me: “Do you get now why i laughed when A. said the gi arc didnt have lot of stakes” A: “now we have them……” 

 -They miss Kurapika and Leorio still. we all agree it would have been better at least for the kids’s mental health if they had been there… 

 -T: “why the FUCK Zeno is coming back home by feet” 

 -Cheetu teasing Zeno, saying he’ll fight against Zeno, A: “no but i almost feel bad for cheetu seeing how unfair and unballanced it is”  

-they gasped as Silva arrived. A. had her hands on her mouth in amazement. A: “that’s not even an ability it’s just summon the son” 

 -As Shoot and Knuckle talk about going back to fight Youpi : "they have... a really misplaced pride" 

 -Shoot: "Please hit him for me" T: "no no you misheard he said bring me to the hospital. go see the octopus" A: "I know an octopus, he knows a guy"

So we had to stop, and it was... amazing. They were invested in the fight, understood the struggles, and are truly looking forward to more, it makes me happy!

It was a nice day dkfjhf

Tell us things about Team Galactic that you love. Tell us what it is about the commanders and leader you love!

Oh man, where do I start! Where do i end?? XDI’ll just list random stuff!

* I started off liking Team Galactic just because they’re very silly in an endearing way. I unironically love the over-the-top designs for everyone!!* But I also gained even more appreciation for them as the game progressed! They’re like... CRAZY competant! They manage to succeed A LOT at all of their goals, and even though they’re an eccentric lot their leader is a terrifying badass and their ultimate hidden goals are some of the darkest in the series. And it’s a great duality! And I love how its actually aknowledged in-universe as a plot point! People underestimated them because of their outward silliness. And Cyrus deliberately kept the full truth from all of his underlings, so even they didn’t know exactly what they were helping him do. There’s a lot of theories that this is even why he selected the people he did for the job, he picked a bunch of easy-to-manipulate dopes who would craft a harmless goofy image for his team. I don’t think that’s entirely fair though, I don’t think the commanders and grunts are STUPID, even if they can come off as space cases sometimes. I just like to think that cyrus subconciously recruited a bunch of ragtag goofballs who had similar mental illnesses to him, out of a repressed desire for companionship...* ALSO I LIKE HOW I CAN THINK WAY TOO MUCH INTO THE HEADCANONS OF THIS TEAM, OK LOL* Oh and I REALLY REALLY like how the vast majority of the grunts are 100% good guys. Everyone thinks their boss is gonna save the world, and everything is justified in the name of that. And a lot of them are such softhearted goofballs! They were one of the earliest teams to have so much absolute comedy to them, and a sense of being a big ‘ol family. They’re like the beta of what also made me love Team Skull a lot!* An important point to consider: Team Skull does not have an Official Evil HQ Nap Room. Thus they can never truly win.* ALSO CONSIDER: seriously, this big grumpy emotionally-repressed evil bossman ranting about how friendship is futile, as he draws up the plans for the official evil HQ nap room. And the tv room. And the family kitchen. And the glow in the dark star pattern wallpaper. And then hugs his crobat.* I unironically love the turquoise bowl cuts and wanted forever to dye my hair and now my hair is not exactly that colour of turquoise but its blue at least. LIFE GOALS ACHIEVED!

ABOUT THE COMMANDERS:

* I love them much!! I think i’m in the minority here, but i liked them even more than cyrus! This gen was also the first gen that had such heavy personality writing for the admins. Gen 3 introduced admins with names, but the aqua and magma ones had the same dialogue just with a few words swapped here and there. My only complaint is that the commanders didnt get as much screentime as they could have, the games hadnt hit that era yet. I hope if we get remakes their roles can be expanded as much as tbe gen 3 admins were!* Another unpopular opinion: grumpy grandpa is best. I will sit here in the tiny charon fandom forever! And cry forever at the potential plotline of him once being childhood friends with a rotom before he turned evil. That whole journal is just WARM AND FUZZY FEELINGS and then it gets so sad when you think about where he ended up after like 50 years! Gramps, go back and hug your pokemon again, ok?* I think Jupiter is unfairly underrated, cos she’s a badass and a cool team mom! And I like to headcanon her as kinda buff and athletic so i was happy she was drawn that way in the pokespe manga. I feel like she’s the heavy hitter of the team in both pokemon and actual punches! While being hella elegant and full of sass! And also I like to imagine she loves poison type pokemon and treats them like pampered poodles, cos that is a cute mental image. I always thought it was funny that such a stylish lady has a giant fart skunk as her signature pokemon! The most fashionable fart skunk in all of sinnoh~* Mars is awesome and badass and cute and awesome and I LOVE that her pokespe personality aligned perfectly with my headcanons somehow?? I like her as a perpetually cheerful kinda-unhinged mad bomber type warrior that has everyone fleeing in fear. She’s adorable and tough and EVEN SCARIER cos her toughness is done in an adorable way! Like.. basically, harley quinn??? (But without the uncomfortable abusive boyfriend plot) I think personality-wise she’s the most engaging of the main commander trio, and she fits super well as the one who gets the most battles during the main game. She always feels like the face of team galactic to me, more than Cyrus even!* And saturn is just cool and cute and his personality might be a bit less developed in the games cos he only gets one battle scene, but he’s still awesome! Its just a shame that all the adaptations gave wildly different ideas of what his personality might be, and I can never decide which one I prefer. So I like to just imagine they’re all canon, and he can be a calm and collected serious dude with a secret grumpy goofball streak. I feel like thats better cos then he’s just as eccentric as the rest of the team and he can stand out just as much, yknow? Oh, and also I liked his design the most as a kid! He was the one I wished I could look like!

OK LOL IM SORRY I RAMBLED SO MUCH

13 Reasons Why

ITS SO GREAT. ITS SO REAL I LOVED IT Okay let’s talk for a minute about it. I got so attached to Hannah,even knowing she was already dead,so it made it really hard to watch all the terrible stuff that happened with her;Even more because I was really upset when started watching the show.I Had to watch it just like Clay,cause it really messed up my head.

What I think about the other characters? Jessica was just a normal girl,like Hannah,and definitely didn’t deserve what happened to her(no one deserves).She made a mistake,but let’s not forget about the sexism in her thoughts,like it was Hannah’s fault to be on the list,and not Alex’s.Society's fault.

Justin wasn’t a bad guy,he felt bad and guilty for what happened to Jessica and wanted to protect her(not in the right way,of course).He did let Bryce spread Hannah’s photo,but it was a mistake.Had a bad family,really messed up.

Courtney made me love her,with the whole helping Hannah to catch the stalker;Of course,her sexuality and how she felt about it made me even more attached.She spread rumours about Hannah,because she was afraid,not because she’s a bad person. Actually sorry for what she did.She defended Bryce to not accept the truth,I get that,BUT IT WAS TERRIBLE,YOU LOVE GIRLS BUT DON’T WANT TO PROTECT THEM?WHAT THE FUCK COURTNEY SHUT UP

Ryan is selfish(ALL OF THEM WERE SELFISH,SELFISH TEENAGERS,NORMAL,BUT HORRIBLE,LET’S STOP IT),liked Hannah's​poem,but didn’t did anything to help her,he just saw her like a product to be sell ugh.

Tony is a sweet pie,deserves all good things in the world,be happy with your boyfriend Brad.HELPED HANNAH’S PARENTS THANK YOU.

Clay is like me and you,scared to tell people that we love them.Really good guy,glad he’ll be friends to Skye and help her(she cuts herself,remember?)

Alex is a baby,regret,had a bad childhood with his restrict dad,I hope he didn’t died, HELP HIM PLEASE.

Sr.Porter should have helped Hannah, wasn’t ready to do his job,didn’t know how to help teenagers and how to handle their struggle,BE KIND WITH THEM,GO AFTER THEM YOU STUPID

Zach has a good heart,just a guy trying to fit in the group of cool guys from school.

Marcus is a piece of shit I hate him.

Sheri looks like a good girl,but she made a mistake that caused someone’s death,so she should suffer the consequences.

JEFF WAS AN AWESOME GUY, DIDN’T DESERVE ANYTHING BAD LIKE THAT,JUST SO A GOOD FRIEND I LOVE HIM,HE DESERVED BETTER.

BRYCE YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT,YOU RICH PRIVILEGED AWFUL BASTARD,I HOPE YOU DIE IN PRISION NO MERCY,I DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.I SHIP HIM WITH JAIL.

I forgot to talk about the show huh?Sorry. In my opinion,they extended some tapes that weren’t so important,what made the show kinda slow and annoying,but I get that for a TV show,it was the best way to adapt it. The only thing that bothers me,is that the show is heavy,really depressing,so for the ones feeling like Hannah,it’s dangerous.Buuut,for the others,it’s really good to teach how to have empathy,watch what you say to others,always try to care and be kind,cause you can save someone.

ANYWAY,I LOVED IT

The Walking Dead: Season 6 - Revisited

Warning: There be SPOILERS ahead! If you haven't watched Season 6 of The Walking Dead and want to keep all the twists, turns, secrets, and deaths a surprise, stop reading!

(Maybe one day I'll whip up some fancy HTML to hide spoiler text until the area is hovered over, but until then...)

Looking back at my humble collection of around 8 or so zombie DVDs circa 2005, it’s hard to believe the very same subject matter I sought out would, in a few years time, become one of the highest rated TV programs of all time, constantly setting new records (all in an age where traditional TV is dying out, no less).  The proliferation of zombies into the mainstream is largely a very recent phenomenon, both responsible for and spurred on by The Walking Dead.

I will admit that my interest in the show is patchy - some seasons I religiously catch every episode, while others ebb by with barely a thought.  But when a new season does inevitably pop up on Netflix, I do get a little excited to see what’s happened.  I also think it’s fair to say that The Walking Dead can feel like 2 different TV shows depending on whether you’re getting your season in over the course of a few days or actually watching it week-to-week complete with holiday break.  

Watching the show week-to-week really helps those “moments” settle in.  You’ve only got a finite amount of Walking Dead to chew on for a week or more, so it sticks in your head longer and leaves you to ponder over secondary and tertiary plot strings more thoughtfully and completely.  The drawback is that the lulls and the filler are 10x more obvious.  When processing the season as 16 different chunks, drawn out plot lines, tangential episodes, and even shockers and cliffhangers are much more noticeable and memorable simply because we have more time to ruminate before our next narrative dose.

On the other hand, binge watching a season gives us a much clearer view of whatever arc the writers had planned since we’re sort of able to feel the momentum and the progress in “real time.”  Sometimes the week-to-week stuff is like moving in slow motion, and it’s difficult to see “the point.”  Conversely, some degree of detail and nuance is lost with the binge-watching approach because our minds aren’t spending time going over every single detail over and over.  We see an episode, reach back to remember what we need to, and move forward; it’s much different than sitting around for a week and wondering where every plot thread will eventually end up.

That being said, depending on who you are and also depending on what season of The Walking Dead we bring into question, one approach or the other may be a “better” or more optimal (or worse or less optimal) way to watch the episodes.  However, as the years roll on - particularly from the 4th season forward - more and more I think that binge watching is the way to go, mostly because the writers or producers or whoever seem to revel in audience manipulation.  At least you’ve only really got to put up with the season finale when watching it all at once.

Now with all of that being said, I digested the 6th season more or less in one chunk, maybe 5 sessions over the course of 3 and a half days.  As a season I would say it was maybe...75% successful?  It certainly got off to a good start after the rocky road to (and into) Alexandria in the 5th season.  I can see where the quarry situation may have initially come off as contrived and manufactured, but I think the writers actually did a good job of explaining it - these zombies had been falling in and this was one of the biggest reasons why Alexandria had yet to face any serious threats from the dead.  Of course the timing of the trucks that held the bodies at bay was mighty convenient, I’m ok writing that off as the magic of television.

Most criticisms leveled at the first half of Season 6 focus on the plodding nature of the events surrounding the quarry - in case you’ve forgotten, the group was successful at leading half of zombies away but the other half were drawn towards Alexandria due to a simultaneous assault by the Wolves.  Soon the wall gives way and the town is overrun.  I suppose I can somewhat sympathize with these criticisms, but I also feel like there’s a lot that happens over these 3 days (I think) and that it takes a little time to adequately run through all the events, especially since many events overlap and we’re getting multiple perspectives, plus enough information to know how all the events fit together.

Personally, I found the threat of zombies refreshing.  Our heroes have become pretty adept at dispatching these things and it’s been a while since we’ve seen more than a few quick stabs here and there.  Maybe the group was splintered into 1 or 2 too many subgroups for the show’s own good, but I was still glad to see all the running and cornering and eventual evisceration of several lesser characters.  It reminded me a lot of the show’s earlier days when plots revolved around simple supply runs or fortifying a place to sleep.

As for the attack of the Wolves...meh, I could take it or leave it.  It wasn’t entirely original, it was 100% expected (at some point anyway, and what better time than the worst time possible...), and I felt like it was a forced means for the show to get to this whole “kill or not to kill” theme that ends up dominating the season.  Now don’t get me wrong, I think this is a great question to ask - I’ve been asking it myself for the last couple of seasons - I just thought the whole Wolves attack with “Alpha Wolf” and Carol and Morgan was a weird and slightly unnecessary spark for the conversation.

Morgan’s obvious reticence towards killing has always brought with it a tiny air of mystery, but it wasn’t until this season’s 4th episode that we fully understood the breadth of Morgan’s journey from Atlanta to Terminus.  As a sidenote, I have mixed feelings about these flashback episodes.  Usually the information presented within is interesting, informative, and worth the use of an episode, however, no matter how great it is as a standalone piece, it still interrupts the flow of the season.  I guess it can’t be helped (other than to do away with these types of episodes, though I don’t think that’s the answer) but maybe they could place these episodes more strategically, i.e. not following a cliffhanger.  Oh well.  Back to Morgan and his Odyssey.

When I was finally able to get my mind off of Glenn’s fake death and get into the tale of Morgan (who I’ve always been mildly ambivalent towards as a character) and the one-shot Eastman, I thoroughly enjoyed the renewed interest in morality.  Rick & Co. have continually oscillated between “kill fucking everything” and “we’re all a big happy family” but from very early on it’s been established that killing the living is par for the course and must be done. Via Morgan, we’re finally getting around to, “is it really necessary?”  It’s not only interesting but also a vital component of the equation at this point in time and I kinda dig how it’s rippled outwards from Morgan, eventually deeply affecting Carol.  Daryl isn’t so closely associated with all of that, yet he also seems to have developed a renewed appreciation for human life.

It’s a little early to get into the implications of whether or not killing is wrong and if people can truly change, but I hope we’ll move further into this territory.  All of this Negan shit sort of turned the concept on its head and basically gagged and blindfolded us and dropped us smack dab in the middle of everyone-needs-to-die-NOW land.  I hope that the issue resurfaces somehow and wasn’t merely heaped on just to create the jolt that was Negan...I guess we’ll see before long.

And then there was the fake Glenn death which I feel obligated to mention...it was stupid.  Anyone disagree?  Didn’t think so.  Moving on.

Wrapping up the season’s first half, which thematically runs through the 9th episode, I’d like to add that I especially enjoyed the payoff that was the death of the Andersons.  Don’t get me wrong, I was rooting for Rick and Jessie, but what better way to keep us viewers on our toes than by BAM killing the little kid and BAM killing Jessie and then BAM killing that other kid who also shoots Carl’s fucking eye out.  That last part was a little gruesome and perhaps overkill, but I get that it was adapted from the comics.  Still, Carl doesn’t have but so many lives....and at the same time it’s kinda cool to watch him become battle-hardened and world-weary - a true product, both mentally and physically, of this post-apocalyptic existence.

The back half of Season 6 kicks off on a positive note.  I thought it was great that Michonne and Rick finally got together.  Back on the road to Terminus it seemed like there was a spark between the 2, but once that was abandoned I gave up on it.  To see it happen was an interesting moment for the show...as far-fetched as the pairing seemed, it also totally makes sense.  The cherry on top was seeing that Carl was cool with it.  He and Michonne had definitely established a bond, plus I don’t think any of the viewers are in the mood for some “you ain’t my mama” drama.

Of course this is a very minor plot point compared to the flavor of the next few episodes.  For anyone in need of a refresher, we meet “Jesus,” the Hilltop Community, and learn about Negan.  To hell with morality - the citizens of Alexandria make a decision to launch an all out assault on Negan’s crew, albeit somewhat out of desperation for food (which they intend to trade for Hilltop - exterminating Negan in exchange for necessary goods).  

At first the march of war seemed pretty damn interesting.  The assault itself was pretty awesome, and we also see both Glen and Heath (I think?) struggle with their “duty” to kill other humans.  Some of this guilt seems to subside as they study the Polaroids of smashed skulls pasted to the walls.  Then we deal with more Negan as Carol and Maggie are captured, and then the season sort of spins its wheels for a few episodes in anticipation of the long awaited confrontation with Negan.

Watched as a whole, this string of episodes creates some mild exasperation, so I can only imagine that when viewed weekly the show seemed to absolutely slow to a crawl.  We do get the death of lesbian M.D. Denise somewhere in there, which actually kinda pissed me off.  It seems like - lately anyway - secondary and tertiary characters will continually languish in the background, only to be gradually brought into the forefront.  And then, just when you’re starting to settle in with the new addition, they’re unceremoniously killed.  It actually seems pretty tough for secondary characters to make the jump to the front row.  Either they’re given the axe, or they continue to doddle in the background without being given any real significance.

When we finally meet Negan and ultimately put the pieces given to us in the season finale together, we get what I feel is a wildly unrealistic picture of who Negan and his followers are.  First of all, how has any group out there amassed this many members?  There was the motorcycle crew, the crew at the outpost, the reinforcements that were inbound, and then enough members to create several roadblocks, impassable to even Rick and his well-armed and well-trained crew.  To me, this feels like a huge convenience created just to stymy Rick and Co.  No one we’ve ever seen has had this much of a following, and furthermore it seems that this following isn’t confined to a single location either, as evidenced by the “outpost.”  

I guess it is possible that they just happen to be the ones that made it long enough and stayed well enough off to become so large, but there’s a few problems with this.  For one, there’s the tyrannical nature of Negan.  If this show has shown us anything, it’s that violence begets violence and if you rule with a violent hand, all you’re doing is setting yourself up to be overthrown by the next badass under you.  Pretty soon you’ve got a group with poor leadership and in discord and they get eaten by zombies or whatever.  (Shane, the Governor, Alpha Wolf)  The second issue is how predatory Negan’s group is.  To maximize their spoils, they’d need to keep their numbers small.  They’re not the sort of community that can just continue to grow, especially since they’re relying on the exploitation of others.  Too many mouths to feed.  No no, you need servants, not comrades.  There are just some glaring logistical issues with having a group so big yet so dependent on taking what they need by force - eventually they’re going to run out of people to extort.

Finally there’s the common issue of how many people would seriously pledge their loyalty to a guy who beats people to death with a baseball bat and laughs about it, but that’s more of something to discuss with Season 7.

Any damn way, this big climax with Negan was pretty darn disappointing.  I know that Jeffery Dean Morgan garnered a lot of praise for his portrayal, but honestly he just talked too damn much.  (And if you don’t think so, just wait until you get into Season 7...)  Yeah, he was definitely evil and unnerving and made for some serious suspense, the problem was that it was just drawn out too long.  By the end of the finale we know that Negan wasn’t bluffing and that somebody bit the dust, but in true Walking Dead sensationalism, we got no idea who.

Like so many of The Walking Dead’s biggest moments, this one was also polarizing.  Plenty of critics loved the buildup and plenty others were unsatisfied.  Good TV shows will almost always create this sort of division, though I can’t help but notice that many of these “shock” moments are the target of harsher and harsher criticism as time goes on.  My concern is that the show will become something like Jerry Springer or Maury - a once serious show that ostensibly remains so, but in reality is just out for the shock factor.  What it seems like the writers and producers don’t seem to realize is that a) TV is not a comic, and b) it only takes 1 or 2 severe blows to shatter a viewer’s interest and emotional investment in a show.  (Yes, I’m looking your way Season 7...)  Sure, you can keep pulling the rug out from under us and making us gasp and cringe with the very things we thought would never happen, but there’s only so many times you can play that card before unpredictability becomes predictable; where viewers learn to expect the unexpected, and as a result, go into the show with a degree of skepticism that hinders their full enjoyment.  

Furthermore, the number of possible storylines grows ever smaller with many of these moments - whether it be someone minor like Denise or Noah (huge waste of potential in my opinion) or a bigger player like, let’s say, Lori or Dale - and to be honest, the show has had a difficult if not impossible time when it comes to replacing these folks.  Frankly no one has even come close to replace people like Herschel, or Dale, or Shane (ok, Shane had to die), or even smaller roles like Beth.  Looking back on it, Michonne was really the last great character they introduced; I guess Tyrese was alright once he came into his own.  But the other sorta-newcomers - Sasha, Ford, Rosita, Eugene, Father Gabriel - none of them really come close to hitting the highs that much of the Seasons 1 - 3 cast did.  The Walking Dead has all but become “The Rick Show,” and while part of me can get behind that idea, part of me wishes it was a little more balanced.

So for all these reasons I’m giving the season a 75% success rate.  Obviously we had a stronger first half and though some may see it as drawn out, looking back on it I enjoyed the multitude of perspectives and events taking place.  And like I said, it gets a big “thumbs up” from me for once again featuring zombies as the primary threat.  As far as the second half, I don’t have a problem with Negan and I think that - eventually - it’ll create a fun context to explore the morality of killing people within, but as of the season finale, the road was just too damn long and too damn uneventful.

Currently I’m 4 episodes deep into Season 7, and as soon as my cable’s OnDemand is fully functional again I hope to catch up to the mid-season finale.  Hopefully I’ll feel strongly enough about it to follow up...I certainly have some choice words concerning those first 4 episodes already!

Until then...brains?