how do people go to school without studying without feeling guilty for not studying ?

I am so. So sorry for posting some garbage like this but I am actually going insane and I need to get this out of my system before my head explodes

For my whole time being in this community. I have tried to be. So. So. So normal. I have always tried to be comfortable with/cool about sharing f/os cuz like. They’re not realllll and it doesn’t matterrrrr or something idk

But idk what’s going on with my idk why I am. Behaving in this way but I have started to really. Really hate sharing. Like. I don’t even know how to properly explain it because it’s never bothered me this much before. I’ve always just kind of shrugged it off when I see someone I share with. But recently I have been so???,?,,???? AHHHGGGGGGG

There is like. Actually something wrong with me. It’s not all of them. I’m actually really okay sharing like. A majority of my f/os. But there is like. Idk 2 that I will actually start ripping my hair out over.

Idk. In the past I would simply sigh and move on like it never bothered me like this before but now it’s like. I genuinely get UPSET AND ANGRY and it’s really. Embarrassing I’m so weird oughgg like. Im 19 I shouldn’t be huffing and puffing because someone likes the the same character as me. And obviously I would NEVER ever harass someone over this (worst I’ve done is blocking lol) It’s obviously not their fault I’m just. Really weird and it’s like. That’s MY guy. And it just upsets me so much. When I was like 16 I was like ‘lol idk why ppl r sooo weird abt sharing :P’ but like. Now I get it. I really reallllly get it. And it bothers me so much. And I’m just sitting here festering. And I’m so jealous and sooooo bitter. OUGHGG I bite I bite so hard

Idk I feel so ashamed cuz like. I am a grown woman there is no reason to be acting like this idk. Anyway if you read all this I’m sorry and I hope you know I am so normal actually and not bothered at all by anything.

Friendly reminder that you should

Write that fic

Draw your OC

Redesign that blorbo

Plan that comic how you want

Create the content you want to see

Be cringe

Be free

The only thing that matters is you having fun! Not what others think!

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

seeing a post that says "based on your likes!" Makes me want to restart my blog from the ground up again

How dare you show me such things

How dare you. Show me crap based on my reblogs, that's the stuff I enjoy

crying at 2am bc my skin's been breaking out so much lately for no reason

thinking about them

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

eye of the vulture king

What a difference six years makes

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 5 - I Finally Finished the 2.2 Main Quest Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 6]

ngl one of the most useful things i’ve internalized from doing art online is never tell people what to criticize. don’t preemptively apologize for things or point out where you think you fumbled, it’s just priming people to notice minor issues that might not actually matter and hit you where you’re sensitive and throw you off your game. don’t tell people your weak points. if it’s a genuine problem they’ll point it out

if you are an artist just trying out commissions for the first time as holidays come up, my advice to you to avoid burnout is have a clear ToS that states what you do and do not want to do.

not what you can and cannot do, but what you do and do not want to do. don't try to be the cheesecake factory of commission artists and take every single commission even if it doesn't suit your style or preferred subject matter. don't write a little disclaimer about how you aren't very good at backgrounds or vehicles but will do your best; that's how you get a client that for some reason wants a full brooklyn cityscape from you and suddenly you have spent five months stressed out and guiltily avoidant of other projects. just say you aren't offering backgrounds.

if you're not interested or confident in concept and design, be clear in your ToS that you need specific references for things like clothes and features. coming up with design ideas is a completely separate skill from rendering them; figure out with what you are comfortable before accepting the task. a lot of clients themselves don't understand that saying "do whatever" is basically tasking you to design for them, something for which you are well within your rights to charge accordingly.

pick your niche and hone it, and stretch your comfort zone with private work. you'll figure out as you go just how far your comfort zone stretches and can update what you offer accordingly.

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 5: Flip Slip.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5)