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#I've been thinking of something like this for a while
mariinaworld · 2 days
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PORNSTAR PART.2
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Pornstar! Natasha Romanoff x F! Reader
Summary: After your movie with Natasha, the redhead can't stop thinking about you without knowing that you're thinking about her too.
PART.1
WC: 7,7k (sorry again)
Warnings: SMUT, Dom!Natasha/Sub!Reader, masturbation, blowjob, squirt, beating(a little bit), curse words, unprotected sex, Nat has a penis.
MINORS DNI MASTERLIST N.R
This fic is an adaptation, all rights reserved to the real author.
A/n: Thinking about writing a part 3, but I don't want it to become a series
English is not my first language, so I apologize for any spelling mistakes
You only had time to blink and look around the room to realize that Natasha was gone.
But also, what were you waiting for?
Kisses ? Smiles? Cuddles?
By God, she was a porn star, she had done her job and, well... You had done yours. There was nothing else to do there.
“Y/n, my dear. You exceeded all my expectations!” Carol said, coming closer to you and holding out a white robe to you.
Only at that moment do you realize that you were naked in front of several men. You feel absurdly embarrassed and your face heats up so quickly that you think you're going to explode.
“Don’t be like that…” Carol’s smile grew wider when she saw you quickly tie your robe. “They are more than used to seeing beautiful naked women. And they are professional enough
“How should I feel? I have fulfilled your ridiculous contract, and now I will return to my home. Our ties end here.” you say, getting up and disguising your wobbly legs.
All those orgasms had consequences.
“Don’t talk like it was a great torment for you, Y/n. We both know you enjoyed the moment... I would love to close more contracts with you.”
“That’s not going to happen, Carol.” you say giving her a wry smile. “If that was all you had to tell me…”
You try to take a step, but she holds your arm. Her eyes penetrated yours and a naughty smile appeared on her lips.
“Y/n... That rebellious way of yours makes me so horny.”
You're sure your expression reflected all your indignation, because she pulled away and laughed at you.
“Okay, I understand that your thing is someone like Natasha, but if by any chance you change your mind or want to try something new... You know my number, just call me, baby…” she approached to kiss your cheek and walked away again. “I confess that I will wait for this call with anxiety, even without knowing if, one day, you will accept my proposal.”
Winking at you, she threw her blonde hair back and walked off the set swaying, leaving you completely stunned. She had just flirted with you without any shame.
This pornographic, naughty and obscene world…
A week later...
"Natasha, please, please!"
Your moans echoed through the office, while Carol had a satisfied smile on her face. Natasha wanted to have that same smile, but she just couldn't. Something very, very strange was happening to her.
A week had passed since the recording. A week in which Natasha's dick never got up.
Her dick would only rise if she thought about you.
Natasha had already refused three scenes claiming she was feeling ill, and Carol had ignored it because she knew the redhead had a sensitive stomach, but she knew it was a lie. Natasha thought about you and her dick went up, she thought about someone else, it went down with the same ease. What the hell is that? She also wanted to know, but had no answer.
Like now. You were moaning while being fucked by Natasha on Carol's computer screen, and the redhead's cock was so hard that it hurt in her underwear. But if she were to have sex with any other woman, she knew she wouldn't be able to do it.
“Natasha, Natasha, wake up!” Carol knocked on the table, making the redhead look at her. “Where were you thinking?”
“What?"
“I've been calling you for an hour and you're there, with this stupid look on your face, looking at the computer screen…” Natasha rolled her eyes. “I know Y/n is beautiful and everything, but it seems like you’re under a spell. In fact, we have to talk.”
Calor smiled humorlessly and Natasha swallowed, knowing exactly what it was about.
“Why did you cum inside Y/n?”
Natasha looks at Carol and takes a deep breath, knowing that she could say anything to her, even if she didn't want to, like at that moment, admitting certain things is not always easy.
“I lost control…” Natasha murmurs.
“You never lose control.”
“I know, Carol, I know! But... I kept looking at her, you know? I looked straight into her eyes, while my mind just told me to keep looking at her until I came, look at her until I came, look at her…”
“I understand, Natasha, I understand.” Carol interrupted Natasha, leaning against her chair, analyzing the redhead. “You know what... I know very well what you need.”
“And what do I need?”
“You’re going to get this here.” Carol took the DVD with the edited scenes from Natasha's film with you and placed it in front of her. “You going to Y/n’s house with the excuse that he went there just to show the edited film, you going to seduce her and have sex with her. I was clear? She's hot as hell, Romanoff, and I think it's been a long time since you've starred with a woman so… Normal. You just need one more fuck to forget her for good.”
One more fuck... To forget you? Natasha doesn't think that's likely, a woman who is a real woman doesn't forget a woman like you. But if this was an excuse to have you in her bed, or in your bed, not that she really cared what surface she could have you on again... She should accept it, shouldn't she?
“You're right…” Natasha says, taking the DVD and standing up. “I'm going to do this for both of us, because I know that if she gave you even a little chance, you would have taken her to bed by now.”
Carol looked at the redhead and laughed, twisting her hair into a bun on top of her head.
“True, baby. But I still hope she actually calls me.”
“If it’s up to me, you’ll wait forever” Natasha says laughing towards the door. "Wish me luck.”
“Ah as if you needed it” Carol rolled her eyes as Natasha walked out of the office laughing.
Your apartment was in a middle-class building, on the outskirts of downtown New York. Natasha getting there was easy and quick, as the late afternoon was calm and rush hour was already over. The doorman, a man in his early fifties, called you over the intercom and Natasha thought the first thing she would hear was no. But the doorman smiled and said you were waiting for her at your apartment. Natasha was starting to perk up.
Natasha calls the elevator and after a few minutes the metal door opens. A woman came out and then a redhead, who she identified automatically.
“Wanda...Good to see you.” Natasha smiles, lightly squeezing her hand.
“Good to see you too, Natasha. Y/n is waiting for you upstairs.” Wanda laughed and walked away.
There wasn't time for Natasha to say anything. Before she could even open her mouth, Wanda turned and walked away, leaving the redhead alone again.
Natasha's cock pulsed again, remembering the mission Natasha had ahead of her. The redhead called the elevator again and went to the tenth floor. She presses the doorbell of apartment 1005 and I immediately hear her voice, asking for a moment. Natasha footsteps, a piece of furniture being dragged, followed by a "fuck" loud enough to be heard down the entire hallway and soon after, the door opened, revealing you dressed in a gray blouse and black panties, making Natasha's dick twitch for the thousandth time that morning.
Ah... Damn, and hot Y/n. Natasha thinks.
For a moment, you think your brain was tricking you. I mean, when you heard the doorbell ring through your apartment, the first thing that came to your mind was that Wanda had forgotten something and came back to get it. But of course that wouldn't be it.
Damn destiny always has to conspire against people. Natasha was standing at your door, with a slutty smile on her lips, dressed entirely in black. Aviator-style sunglasses covered her green eyes, but it didn't take much to know that they were at that point of wetting the panties of the coldest woman on the face of the earth. It also didn't take long for you to notice that you were practically half-naked with a horny woman at your door.
“Natasha! Yeah, um... I need to get dressed, Wanda... she... I'm..." shit! Where are the fucking words when you need them?
“Calm down, Y/n.” The redhead said in a solemn tone and walked past you.
She entered as if she was already a resident of the house and walked through the small hall to your living room, where she sat with her legs open and took off her glasses.
I must mention that she made a point of looking you up and down, making you feel even more... Undressed.
“You don’t have to be like this, Y/n. It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before, right?”
At his lack of response, Natasha continued. “I'm going to put on a movie for us to watch if you don't mind…” says Natasha looking for her DVD player
“I do care, you arrive here unannounced, enter my house and want to go through my things as if we had known each other for decades” you say, practically huffing with anger.
Natasha tilted her head to the side and slowly analyzed you from top to bottom, with a smile on the corner of her lips.
That expression of "I don't give a fuck about what you just said" was making you even more angry.
“Firstly, yes, I was announced. And your doorman told me you were waiting for me up here. Second… It's just a TV and a DVD player, it's not like I'm going to rob you when you turn your back, because if you turn your back, I'd be busy looking at your beautiful, big ass and I may not have known you for decades, but I think we're already close enough, so... Why so much formality?
“This... This casual way of yours irritates me!” You mutter under your breath, looking at her and seeing her laugh.
“Ah, Y/n, you wouldn't be the first to be irritated by my way of being. But I already showed you once, that I can transform your irritation into multiple orgasms… I can show you again if you want.” Natasha raised an eyebrow, looking at you defiantly.
Sir… you have to send her away as soon as possible!
“Natasha... I know you're the type of woman who only knows how to talk about sex, orgasms and cumming wildly, and you know, as much as this type of subject doesn't please me, I would stay here and listen to everything you have to say, but... I'm leaving. Seriously, I have to leave soon, so... Can we talk later? I swear I'll listen to you for a whole day, but now I really can't.”
It was obvious that she wasn't going out, but you were going to receive visitors and the last thing you wanted was for William, yes, your ex, to see Natasha with you. Not that I cared about the son of a bitch's opinion.
Romanoff's laugh echoed throughout your apartment, breaking you out of the trance you were in. She looked at you with an amused expression, her eyes full of good humor.
“I'd love to talk to you about sex, orgasms and cumming wildly, Y/n, but that's not why I came here. Sit here, I want to show you something... I promise I'll be quick.”
She raised her eyebrow once again and you gave up, going over to her and sitting next to her. With my remote control in hand, she pressed a button and the television turned on, revealing images... Images of the two of you in bed.
"But this is…"
"Yes my dear. It's the two of us in action. You’ll see how good we are together, Y/n!” Natasha says with a proud smile on her face.
She pressed play and soon the movie started. You were lying down and your belly felt cold when she woke up and started kissing you. You get goosebumps, as if you could feel her skin with every touch she was giving you, on the TV screen. You could see that the film was well edited, because not even five minutes had passed and Natasha was already kissing your breasts. Holy God, your face was on fire and you were squirming unintentionally on the couch, feeling a strange excitement explode in your belly.
“Hot, isn’t it?” Natasha asked, looking directly at you.
You swallow hard, looking down the redhead's body and seeing the gigantic volume that her erection was making.
How did she do it so quickly?
But who did you want to fool?
You were also just as turned on as she was, in less than five minutes.
“Ah, Y/n... “ she murmured, placing two fingers on your chin and lifting it, so that your gaze focused on hers. “If I said that I didn't come here with the intention of fucking you, I would be lying through my teeth. I came here with this intention pounding in my head and I need to know if you want it too. Do you want to fuck me, Y/n?”
For what words, when a simple nod was enough? You nodded and before you could even blink, Natasha had already taken your mouth in hers in a kiss of possession, making you Her tongue dueled with yours, while you felt her erection massaging your womb, her scent intoxicating every corner of your being. You hadn't realized how much you were missing her until that moment, where she slowly felt every corner of your body, applying pressure to the areas where he knew you would shudder and moan into her lips. In a hurry, you put your hands on her blouse, pulling it up until she was left with just a black bra.
Flustered, as you were, you rip off that piece that opened at the front and throw it on the floor, leaving her breasts completely exposed. Natasha laughs at your haste and you even think she would say one of her infamous sentences, but she just threw herself on top of you again, right after ripping off your shirt with the same haste you took off hers. You hear a hoarse moan come out of her throat as she gazes at your bare breasts, with your nipples hard from the excitement she had just given you.
“You know, Y/n... I have to confess something to you.” Natasha looks at you, slowly running her fingers over your stiff nipples. “I haven't had sex since the day we recorded. Because that hot pussy of yours made my dick addicted. I'm fucking addicted to you, my dick only rises when my mind remembers your taste, your body, even when I remember the color of your eyes. So, Detka... When I start, don't you dare stop me.”
"I will not stop." You murmur, kneeling on the couch, almost at her height.
You take your hands to her pants and unbutton the first button, then the second and lower yourself down with her underwear, making her member jump out, thick and pink.
“I will never stop, Natasha, because... I'm addicted to you too.”
It was your only option: either you revealed it, or you said no. And saying the word "no" didn't even become an issue for you. Natasha laughed and sat up, looked towards her own dick and raised an eyebrow. “Touch me, Y/n.”
You bring your hand to her member and take it, moving it down and up slowly. Her dick was hot and touching her like that, you could tell how thick she was. How had she fit inside you?
It wasn't a question you had an answer to, but you think your anatomy had to expand a lot to contain it.
Natasha moaned softly and looked at the movements in her penis, as if she was hypnotized. You increase the speed, feeling your mouth water. “Um… Suck it.”
It wasn't a simple request. It was like an order and you never thought you would feel your panties get wet listening to a woman order you to suck her. You get off the sofa and Natasha adjusts herself, sitting with her spine straight and opening her legs so that you can sit between them. When Natasha saw that you were comfortable, the redhead took your hair with her right hand and caressed your face with her left, before slowly pushing you towards her cock.
You would never be able to fit it all in your mouth, that was a fact. So, you start licking it from bottom to top, and when you reach the glans, you collect the pre-ejaculatory liquid with your tongue. Natasha was delicious and you never thought otherwise. The bittersweet taste sharpened your senses even more and with your excitement raised to its maximum level, you lean over and suck the glans with affection and force, making Natasha move her hips violently, putting her dick in your mouth.
“Fuck...Y/n...I always lose my fucking control with you! Fuck me babe let’s go!” Natasha screamed, tying your hair in a ponytail, and starting to move her hips with impressive agility.
You just open your mouth and let her in for a few seconds, before taking control of the entire situation. You take her penis down your throat, but half of it was still out of your mouth, so you start sucking half of it and masturbating the other half. Natasha looked at you madly, her mouth open, sweat breaking out on her forehead, her light green eyes were now dark, while your cheeks became concave from sucking so much.
But you didn't want to stop. That woman had given you, in a single sex, more orgasms than you had ever achieved with your ex-boyfriend during your entire relationship.
Why would you deny her a quick cum in your mouth? Not to mention it was very exciting to see her so dependent on you like that.
Looking into her eyes, you run your tongue along the opening of her penis, while massaging her testicles with gentleness and precision. She moaned loudly and threw her head back as you went back to sucking her. You feel her dick grow in your mouth, really pulsing. It was wonderful. “Y/n... If you don’t stop now, I’m going to cum.” Natasha roared, looking back at you.
You look at her and take her penis to the opening of your throat, making the glans go deeper and deeper. You feel your eyes widen from making her go so deep and she moans, pressing your head down. Her member pulsed quickly in your mouth and she lifted your head only to make her glans come out of your throat, before spurting her hot cum onto your tongue.
"I'm going to cum! Y/n, fuck, my god, fuck…” Damn! Natasha screamed wildly, while you swallowed and sucked her, without success, as she didn't stop cumming.
After a few minutes, Natasha threw herself on the couch with her eyes still on you, while you cleaned her member with your tongue. The redhead's cum had run down your mouth and neck, but you didn't care. You had just seen that woman moan like never before and come too, apparently.
Maybe it's because of the time she told you that she hadn't had sex, but you decide not to focus too much on that. You let her clean member fall onto her belly, seeing that she was still semi-erect.
You move away a little and take a deep breath, letting the air enter your lungs again. The redhead smiled and approached, taking your chin in her hands. Slowly, she ran her tongue down your neck, collecting all her own semen along the way, until she reached your mouth and kissed you with precision, spreading her own cum across your tongue, surprising you that she didn't feel any disgust or anything like that, like William felt... William... SHIT
You had totally forgotten he was on his way.
Natasha looked indignant when you pushed her and got up, picking up your blouse from the floor and putting it on quickly, before throwing Natasha's blouse in her face, along with the bra. “Quickly, Natasha! Get dressed! Damn, shit, I can’t believe this…”
You mumbled and mumbled and walked back and forth, until you stopped in front of the mirror in the room and fixed your disheveled hair, the hair that Natasha had disheveled, while you deliciously sucked her cock. Had you not yet realized that the redhead was indignant? She was very indignant and there is still some idiot ringing the doorbell non-stop.
“Y/n! Oh, don't say you're going to back out now. Please, you said you would welcome me.”
And yes. An idiot man! “I’m coming, William!” You screamed. “Natasha! For God's sake, haven't you even gotten dressed yet? Wake up, dammit!”
After Natasha finishes getting dressed and once again refuses to hide for her date to happen, you look at the redhead from top to bottom and the doorbell rang once again. William was impatient. If you had any objections to make, they were dismissed completely, as you turned and with hesitant steps made your way to the door. Natasha follows you and as soon as she stopped behind you, you opened the door, revealing William for Natasha to evaluate. First impression of the redhead: tall, brown eyes and a virgin face!
This guy certainly didn't know how to fuck a blow-up doll. “Hi, William,” you murmur, making room for him to pass.
He looked at you and then at Natasha and walked in facing the redhead, analyzing her from top to bottom and the redhead did the same to him. Natasha didn't know who he was or what he meant to you, but with that virgin face, she highly doubted that he would achieve anything with you after meeting her.
Now you knew that having sex with a woman was a thousand times better and the redhead was sure that you would never leave her to be with that idiot.
“Would you let go of her?” Natasha doesn't know, but her subconscious makes her have a total feeling of ownership over you and she doesn't know how to deal with it yet. “Hm... Natasha... this is my ex-boyfriend, William.”
Ah... The ex. Natasha loves meeting them
“Hello, William. I’m her current girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff.” Natasha says, giving him her best smile and extending her hand to him. And of course, completely ignoring the scared look you gave her. “I’m William, the ex-boyfriend and future again.” he said, shaking the redhead's hand.
Audacious. Natasha liked it. However, he didn't know where he was stepping.
"Future? I don’t think Y/n is willing to repeat the menu, if you know what I mean.” Natasha responds by putting her arm around your shoulders and placing a tender kiss on your head. “She’s already with someone better, isn’t that right, Detka?”
The only thing you can do is stutter and mumble nonsense words. "Calm down!" William interrupted the redhead “I know very well who you are!”
"You know ?" Natasha asks, arching an eyebrow..
"Of course I know! Y/n, since when have you been dating porn stars? I know you liked women in college, but damn, are you going crazy?”
“William, calm down, it’s not at all what you’re thinking.” you said, trying to break away from Natasha but she puts her arms around your waist holding you tight against her. “That’s not what you’re thinking at all William, Natasha is just a friend.” You say trying to calm the situation.
“Y/n, you don’t need to be so shy. Detka, after everything we've done, we can't be considered just friends.” Natasha smiles. “William, I am a porn actress and Y/n is in a relationship with me. There’s nothing big about it.” Natasha shrugs, looking at him and waiting for her answer. “Yes, you have a dick!” William spoke in a higher tone of voice, “I don’t even know if it’s right to call you a woman.” Okay, that went too far!
"Oh yes? I don't think this was a problem for Y/n minutes ago, when we were... Natasha puts her index finger on her lips and pretends to think “You know, or rather, I don't know if you know, with that virgin face... But back, when we were fucking like crazy before you pressed that damn bell and interrupted our orgasm.”
There was only an inch left for William's mouth to stop touching the ground. He was perplexed and you were trying really hard not to laugh in his face. The man's gaze alternated between you again, the atmosphere in the entrance hall became too comical for Natasha, while you only knew how to widen your eyes with each passing second.
“Y/n…” William started. “When you said I could come here, I thought we would finally talk and understand each other. But apparently, I was totally wrong. I never imagined you could go so low. A porn film actress? Even more so with…” he analyzed the redhead with a look of disgust “Her! Damn, that’s disgusting, I would never imagine that!”
"You would never imagine that she would find someone a thousand times better than you. Ah yes, the redhead's subconscious decided to join her in this battle, at least once in her life. The man shook his head, looking disappointed and walked past you two, opening the door.
“I hope you are satisfied with this mediocre choice. Just think of everything I could give you, all the stability, comfort and hope of a safe life, which you will never have with a freak, I mean…woman like that.” Looking at you once more, he turned and left, slamming the door behind him.
“That’s right, idiot ! Get lost, because the girl is already mine!” says Natasha raising her voice a little
Well... At least that was what Natasha was convinced of, until she looked to the side and saw that you were no longer there. You had gone to the living room and were sitting on the sofa, with your face buried in your hands. Natasha didn't know what had happened between you and this William. The redhead doesn't know why you two broke up, or if you still had hopes of being together. The only thing she knew, at that very moment, was that if you still liked him, maybe... Maybe she really fucked up the possibility of you guys getting back together at some point.
“Y/n... Shit! A thousand times shit!” You didn't need to look for you to realize that Natasha had already approached you. You would be very stupid if you thought she would just leave. “Y/n, please... Don’t say I fucked up your almost-future relationship?”
Natasha's tone sounded regretful and you were almost believing that she was truly sorry. “Y/n, fuck, talk to me!”
“What do you want me to say, Natasha?” You ask, lifting your head and looking at the redhead. “I want you to answer me, to curse me... To do something, damn it! I can't read thoughts yet, I need a clue here, to know if I messed up or not… To see if I can fix something, even though I think it would be a waste of time for you to have a relationship with that virgin guy…”
“What face?” You held back a laugh as you looked at her, but it didn't have much effect, because a smile spread across your face. “Virgin face... Y/n, he does have a virgin face! Tell the truth, he fucks in a horrible way, doesn’t he?”
What could you do but laugh and agree? A loud laugh escaped your throat before you could contain it and Natasha followed you, as you nodded, shaking your head. “Really, he fucks horribly! Can you believe I never had an orgasm with him?”
You were indignant as you laughed, but soon Natasha stopped laughing and so did you. And only then do you realize what you had just said. "Are you serious?" she asked, frowning. You remain silent.
“Come on, Y/n, don’t act shy now! I've seen you naked, I've been inside you, inside your mouth... And apparently, I've already given you more orgasms than that virgin ever thought about giving you. There’s no need to hide from me.” Okay, she was right.
“Yes, Nat, I’m serious!” You mumble, laying your head on the back of the couch. “And that’s why you broke up with him?”
“No, he cheated on me with his secretary, a super beautiful and interesting blonde. He is a lawyer and has always known a lot of people, but I never thought he would be so low and betray me like this.”
“Wow, Y/n... I’m so sorry.” The redhead said, sincerity showing in her voice. “But I can tell you one thing: he’s a really stupid guy. How could he cheat on you? Damn, if I had a girlfriend like you... I would never have eyes for anyone else.” You look at her suddenly seeing an incredulous expression. “Stop, Natasha. Don’t start, you’re a porn actress…” you say letting out a weak laugh “So what?”
“So what if you could never have a normal relationship. Unless you found a woman who accepted your profession…
"Would you accept?" Your confused expression gave away what you were probably thinking, because the redhead continued.
“Would you accept having a “normal relationship” with me, Y/n, even though you know I’m a porn star?”
“Do you want to have a normal relationship with me?” Your eyes were so wide that your sockets could pop out at any moment. “This is all hypothetically speaking, Y/n…” Natasha replied, shrugging.
“Ah, well... No, Nat, I don't think I would. Hypothetically speaking, If I accepted, it would mean that I would continue to be “cheated” for the rest of my life, since your profession is to fuck several women every day.”
“It’s a profession like any other, Y/n. Hypothetically speaking, you wouldn’t be betrayed, you would just accept the lifestyle I lead.”
“Hypothetically and truly speaking... The answer would still be no, Nat.” She rolled her eyes and smirked when she looked at you again. “All this nonsense aside, Y/n... We can go back to what we were doing before... What do you think?”
"What do you think?"
Why resist? You are a single woman and you deserve to enjoy.
“I think that was the smartest thing to come out of your mouth since the virgin guy left, Nat.”
Natasha smiled, you too and together, you went towards your room, to finish all the madness that had started on your couch.
You enter your room with Natasha following you and you give her a few minutes to look around. There was nothing special, your room had a classic decor, very feminine… Cream walls, a double bed with a baby pink bedspread, your bedside table with some photos. Your closet wasn't too big, its door was next to the bathroom door. In front of your bed was what you liked most: your bookshelf, which was what Natasha was looking at at that moment.
“Well, well… Y/n!” Natasha looked at you with a naughty smile from ear to ear, making you look down at your copy of "Fifty Shades of Grey", which was in the redhead's hand. “So you also succumbed to that book?”
What was wrong with that? You felt like you were caught in the act while you were doing something very shameful. “You don’t have to be like this, Detka.”
“Detka? Why do you always call me that?” You repeat what had just come out of the redhead's mouth and she smiled beautifully. “Any problems with pet names?” You just shake your head a little blushing.
“This Christian Gray guy must have picked up more women than me, and I've been in this business since I was 18 years old.” Natasha shook her head and laughed. “But I confess that, since the release of this book, I must have done more than 30 BDSM-style scenes.”
"Serious?" You ask. "Yes." she turned the book over, taking a quick look at the synopsis. “And you... Do you like that kind of thing? Domination and submission?” The redhead asks, suddenly interested.
The image of Natasha with a whip in her hands made your panties wet so quickly, you thought she was combusting.
“Although it’s not really my style, I confess that I do like it. And you, Y/n? Have you ever done anything like that?” She asked, looking at you intently. “Never…” you mumble. “And are you curious?”
“Well...After this book, I think any woman will be curious. I mean, it's a very different topic, which has almost never been addressed, especially in such an explicit and…”
“Are you curious or not, Y/n?”
Natasha asks in a more authoritative tone, Or was it just your imagination? Whatever the case, your intimacy pulsed with each passing minute. "I have." you murmur, wanting to look away, but feeling unable.
Natasha had that power to bind you to her, something that no one had been able to exercise over you. She put your book back in its place and took a few steps until she was in front of you. She ran her fingertips across your face, letting her thumb caress your lower lip. You wanted to close your eyes, but you didn't. You wanted to see how far she would go.
“You're so beautiful, Y/n and telling me these things... My dick is already so hard, I would do anything to enter you right now, but I won't. Do you know what I want now, Y/n?” You shake your head, swallowing hard. “I want you to take off all your clothes and stand in front of your bed, with your feet on the floor and your hands resting on the mattress. Right?"
“Yes…” She pointed to the bed behind you with her eyebrow and you turned to go to her, but was stopped with a firm pull on your hair, which didn’t even hurt, but it was strong enough to keep you still, with your head tilted back.
"Yes what?" asked the redhead in my ear, with a stern voice. "Yes ma'am."
"Go."
She released you and took a few seconds to make your feet move towards your bed. Half a minute ago, Natasha was just Natasha, the porn star. Now you have a Dominant Natasha inside your room and the idea of obeying her has never been so exciting.
You take off your clothes quickly and get into the position she asked for. You felt vulnerable and at the same time sexy in that position, with your ass and your intimacy exposed to her.
“Open your legs wider.”
Natasha's voice echoed throughout the room, letting you know that she wasn't that close to you. You open your legs wider for her, feeling every part of my body becoming erect, as curiosity approaches your mind. What would she do to you? Where was she at that moment, what was she doing exactly?”
You wanted those answers so much, but your brain forgot each one of them when you felt Natasha's finger running straight down your spine. You wanted to squirm with that lazy and sensual movement, but the position stopped you and the only thing you did was let out a loud sigh, when Natasha's open hand slowly caressed your ass.
“Do you trust me, Y/n? I would never do anything that would hurt her, right? Remembering that everything I do is much more for your pleasure than mine. It's for our pleasure and I would never do anything other than that. You said you're curious and I'm here to make you taste whatever you want, Anything I do and you don’t like it, just say “stop” ok?”
"Yes…"
A strong slap landed right in the middle of your buttocks, making you let out a tearful moan. You would have fallen face down from the bed, if Natasha hadn't held you by the waist and held you close to her body. "Yes what?"
"Yes ma'am!" You respond in a louder tone than you intended, feeling your flesh burn and your intimacy become even more moist.
"Excellent." The redhead responded in a serious tone, showing that she was the one in charge.
You hear Romanoff's footsteps walking away, the sound of shoes falling to the floor, as well as the sound of a zipper being opened.
She was undressing and your excitement reached an even greater level due to the anticipation. You hear more and more footsteps, you think she was walking around your room until she came back to stand next to you, her erect member touching your ass.
“You know, Y/n... You've been a very bad woman since the day I met you.”
“W-What do you mean?”
Another strong, hot slap hit you, this time on your right buttock, making you let out a loud scream. God, that hurt and at the same time it made your intimacy cry out for orgasm. How was it possible?
“I don’t remember giving you permission to speak, Y/n!” the redhead said, incisively. “I’ll have to teach you some manners, girl.”
You almost open your mouth to say something, but stop immediately. The slaps excited you and that was a fact, but you also really wanted to know what Natasha had in mind and for that, you needed to stay quiet.
“Continuing, the first thing you did wrong was make me lose control. I never cum inside a woman while I'm acting… I came inside you, because you caught me in your gaze. I think you deserve punishment for that, don’t you, Y/n?” If she's talking, you must deserve it... Another slap!
Very hard on your left buttock, and damn, if you received another slap, you would melt along with the waterfall of excitement that your pussy would release. “Answer, Y/n! Every time I ask you a question, you have a duty to answer me.”
“Yes, I deserve punishment for this,ma'am”
“Yes, you deserve it. And I also deserve punishment for having cast a spell so that my dick wouldn't rise for another woman. Because that's what's happening, Y/n. I haven't had an erection for another woman since the day I fucked you. And that’s not right, is it.”
“It is not, ma'am”
“No really…” Natasha remained silent for a few minutes, running her hand over your hot, burning ass. “Ten slaps, Y/n. I will give you ten slaps because of everything you did to me. Agrees?" "Yes ma'am”
"Perfect. Why are we doing this, Y/n? Why are you bowing down and obeying me?”
“Because I wanted to know what it’s like…” first slap. Hard and fast, right in the middle of your ass.
She caresses you and you moan, rearing up for her, your body asking for more and at the same time, begging for an orgasm. “Keep talking, don’t stop!”
Second slap, on the right side, following the sequence she had started when you messed up something.
“Because I wanted to know what it was like, ma'am.” you moan receiving the third and fourth slap.
Your flesh was burning and the walls of your vagina were so tight, that you were sure that with just one touch on your clit, you would cum.
“And why are you being beaten?” Natasha asked, caressing your ass lightly.
“Why don’t you…” Fifth and sixth, the echo of the spankings filling your entire room. "You? Is that right, Y/n?
“No ma'am.” you whimper feeling your legs wobble. Your body was begging for an orgasm, for a rest, but you didn't want to stop. “Start again, why are you catching Y/n?”
“Because you can’t stay hard for any other woman, unless…” seventh and eighth, and more excitement came out of your intimacy.
She slapped you again on the buttocks and paused. You feel two kisses on your burning flesh and then came the coup de grace. The tenth and final slap, which your hot ass was waiting for, was given lower down. It hit your intimacy straight.
Your clitoris vibrated, you felt a sharp scream coming out of your throat, while your legs turned to jelly and your lower belly shook in a powerful orgasm. Jets came out of you, as you had what many called female ejaculation.
It was strong, and it seemed like it would never end. You came and screamed, while your trembling body was welcomed into Natasha's arms. Only then do you realize that you are sitting on the floor, when all the daze was gone, leaving only a tremor in your body with every movement you or Natasha made.
“Nat…” you groan, looking for something to say before you become too embarrassed to even look at her.
“Y/n, that was... Amazing! Have you ever cum like this?” She looked at you, smiling. You shake your head, placing your face on the redhead's bare chest. You hear her laugh of joy, while a smile spreads across your face.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed. As far as it depends on me, I will give you lots and lots of ejaculations.” The redhead's fingers lightly went down your breasts, starting to lightly circle your nipple. “Now I really want to fuck you.”
You feel your intimacy fluctuate, waking up the excitement that fell asleep after that intense orgasm. You bite your lip and get out of Natasha's legs, sitting on her hips and taking her member in your hand. She smiled and leaned back at the foot of your bed, while squeezing your nipple in her fingers.
“Put me inside you, Detka. Slowly, because you are still sensitive.” Natasha murmured, careful, but with eyes full of malice.
You nod and stand up a little, feeling your burning ass protest. You make a face and the older girl laughed, pulling your head to give you a breathtaking kiss. You feel her tongue wander around every corner of your mouth, as you slowly sit on her member, feeling her open space inside you with her wide head.
“Fuck, Y/n... You’re so fucking tight!” she roared against your lips, holding your hips so you sat up slowly. “And you’re fucking big!” you moan, feeling her stretch you inside, touching all your little nerves. “I like that word coming out of your mouth.” She bit your lower lip. “Roll on me, Y/n, come on.”
You obey, rolling your hips slowly, feeling her enter and enter until your pelvises meet. You moan together as you start to move, increasing the rhythm of your hips with the redhead's help. Her dick touched every corner, occupied all the places you didn't even know existed.
When just moving wasn't enough, Natasha began to push your hips up and down, making you straddle her lap. Her dick was going so deep that you could feel your lower abdomen wobble, looking for a new orgasm. “That's right, Y/n... I know that pussy is ready to cum on my dick. Cum for me, Come on.”
The redhead's name escaped your lips and your body, obeying her command once again, trembled, as you came for her. Your intimacy was still pressing her, when she got up with you on her lap and came out of you, placing you on the mattress.
“Kneel down and place your hands on the mattress, Y/n…” she murmured.
You stay in the indicated position. Pulling you by the waist, Natasha placed her penis at your entrance and slowly penetrated you, widening you again, until her pelvis hit your sensitive ass. “If it’s too much for you, let me know and I’ll change positions.”
You nod, feeling her move slowly, pulling your excitement back. You squeeze her lightly inside and you hear a moan of pleasure coming out of her, and one of surprise came from inside you, when I felt her thumb surround your anus.
“Your ass is so beautiful, Y/n. One day, I'll be inside it. I promise to you." Natasha murmured, still moving slowly inside you. “Let me know if this is too much for you too.”
You were about to ask what could be too much for you, when you felt her wet thumb, probably from her saliva, force its way into your anus and lightly penetrate you.
A moan of satisfaction escaped your lips when she synchronized the movement of her finger with the movement of her penis inside you, increasing and increasing more and more.
Her dick hit you full on with force and precision, as did Natasha's finger in your ass and it was all too much for you. You feel your intimacy tighten again and Natasha increased her movements even more, showing that she was also ready to cum. “What a greedy cunt, Y/n! Come on, I’m dying to fill her with my cum”
Hearing all that made your excitement increase to such an alarming level that the last thing you thought about before cumming was whether you would be able to be a normal person after that night.
Romanoff screamed and so did you, as you came together, her cum entering you more and more, while your body suffered from the spasms that the orgasm was causing.
When you both calmed down, Natasha gently pulled out of you and threw herself on the bed next to you, breathing as fast as you.
“Tell me you’re not going back with him” Natasha suddenly looks at you seriously. "What?"
“Tell me you’re not going back with him and I’ll know I have a chance, I can make you happier than him Y/n. I'm completely fascinated by you.” You just smile feeling numb from all this information.
“I’m not going back with him, Nat, because I’m fascinated by you too.”
A bright and satisfied smile spread across her lips, reflecting your expression, before she approached you and sealed all that madness with a sweet kiss, making you think that… Maybe signing that contract wasn't all bad.
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evie-sturns · 1 day
Text
dreams - Matt Sturniolo
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summary: the last thing you expected when you stayed over for the night at your best friend matt's house, was him rubbing himself against the mattress while moaning your name in his sleep, you obviously have to help him out?
contains: wet dream, switch!matt, teasing, fluff.
-----------------------------------------------—————
i've known matt since middle school, hes been my best friend since then. i stay round at his house often, its like my happy place when i get to be around him.
tonight is one of those nights where i stay round at matt's, we just finished watching stranger things season 4 for the 90th time and now we're heading up the stairs to his room.
"that show, is a fucking cinematic master piece." matt scoffs, walking up the stairs close behind me.
"it came out like 2 years ago matt, how are you not sick of it?" i laugh, my brandy melville shorts riding up my ass slightly as i reach the top of the stairs.
"it just never gets old," matt replies, i swing open the door to his bedroom and jump into his silk sheets.
"why does it smell so good in here?" i groan with a grin,
"don'tt lie." matt smiles, "i'm honestly not!! it does smell good for once."
"hey- i am a hygienic man." he points a finger at me before tearing his shirt off from over his head, he sorts through his wardrobe, looking through all the individually folded shirts.
he sets on a blue loose shirt, with the text 'it's been one of those days'
"cute!" i smile at him, he smiles back before jumping into bed beside me, launching me a couple inches into the air.
"matthew!" i hit him playfully, "oops." he teases back.
i lay my head on his chest, matt fidgets with my hair, i slowly drift off to sleep with his long fingers intertwined in my locks.
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3:38am
my eyes squint open as noises from the other side of the bed fill my ears.
matt is on the edge of the mattress, about 2 feet between us.
"fuck- mfgh, oh--" he moans lightly,
his hips repeatedly thrust into the mattress, his face is buried in the pillow but his hair flops with each thrust.
"y/n- please!" he whines,
my stomach sinks as soon as i hear my name fall from his lips,
was he having a sex dream about me?
i know matt would be embarrassed if he knew i was watching him, but i was kind of.. enjoying this? i've always thought about matt in ways i wouldn't like to admit, but he is hot.
i decide to wake him up, i place my manicured hand on his shoulder. i grip his boney shoulder tight and shake him.
"matt!" i whisper-yell,
his thrusts instantly stop, and his head snaps up. his cheeks are flushed red and his lips are a raw pink.
he looks down at the wet spot on the mattress, then back up at me.
"uh- um yeah? you okay?" matt stutters out, trying to play it off.
"what was that sweetheart?" i whisper, sitting up. matt rolls over onto his back, i take the opportunity which is in front of me and sit up, i straddle his thighs and look down at him
he attempts to string together a coherent sentence, but only random words come out "im sorry- you heard that?" he squeezes out.
i drag my nails over the large tent in his pants
matt squeezes out a loud whimper, "i think i heard something come out of your mouth while you were rubbing yourself on the mattress." i say, my voice soft.
"mm-" matt hums, rubbing his eyes
"i heard.. my name?" i tease, matt covers his face with his hands
"'m sorry- 'm so sorry" matt whines.
"tell me about your dream matt."
he shakes his head, i run my hand over his bulge again and matt starts talking
"you- were saying how- how you needed me, and-and i was fucking you- 'm sorry!" matt says, his voice barely audible and he cuts himself off.
"thats okay baby." i smile, tugging down his waistband.
"please-" matt groans.
"i know." i say, reaching out and grabbing his length. his tip is the same shade as his pink lips and leaking precum, he has veins travelling up his dick.
"you have a pretty dick matt." i tell him, pumping slowly and running a thumb over his slit.
"thank- thank you" matt breathes,
"you want me to ride you matt?" i whisper into his ear, matt nods frantically, i pull my shorts to the side slightly,
"such a whore, dreaming about fucking your best friend." i scoff, scooting up and hovering above his tip. i sink down onto his cock,
i bottom out quickly, the craving for his dick overpowering me. he stretches me well, his tip resting against my cervix.
"matt" i whine, matt lets out loud whimpers as he balls up the sheets in his hands.
"so- tight" matt mumbles, i bounce up and down on his length. "fuck! mfgh" he almost yells,
"you dream about me often matt?" i say with a light moan
"yes- yes!" matt whines, "how often" i press him, "god- every couple days?" he replies.
"i want you to fuck me, can you do that for me?" i whisper, matt nods frantically before flipping us over,
my back hits the mattress, matt doesn't waste time to start thrusting into me, just like how he was into the mattress 10 minutes ago,
his hair bounces on his forehead with each thrust, matt reaches his tattoed arm up to my jaw, forcing me to look up at him.
"im- im close" i warn him,
"i know, 'feel you clenching." matt breathes out,
i clench around him, matt reaches his spare hand down and traces small circles around my sensitive clit.
i feel my orgasm wash over me, my legs shake as i arch my back off the bed, feeling all of my built up pleasure release at once.
matt instantly pulls out and paints my stomach with warm white streaks, he flops down next to me with a groan.
matt pulls me onto his chest, breathing heavily into his ear.
"are you okay?' i ask him with a small giggle,
"more than okay-" matt sighs with a smile.
we lay in silence for a couple minutes before matt breaks it with a muffled laugh
"whats funny matt?" i sigh with a grin, exhausted and fucked out.
"i think if someone told me yesterday that i would be fucking my best friend at 4am tomorrow i would've laughed in their face."
i let out a loud laugh, "thats pretty understandable."
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@luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @sonicmacks @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @sturniolo-simp4life @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @recklessmatt @ev3rgreenxtrees @lovergirl4387 @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @ecilphttlunar @bitchydragonparadise @thematthewlover r @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @chrisgetsmewetterxo @mattsonly @justalittle47 @mattsturnioloisbae @sunsetsturniolos @sturniolo04 @similartokayyz
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Someone made an extensive google spreadsheet I've attached below (bless their hearts my gosh) -also don't forget to block Charlie Puth too and any other artist or actor you can think of. 'Influencers' are also NOT excluded from this. If I find a list with them I will post it but this includes every single one of them with a platform who have been silent. That includes the "let them eat cake" Haley Baylee who gushed about having 10 million followers after attending the Met Gala -all while Rafah was being bombed.
Also, on contrary to what was said above -I'm well past the point of caring about the feelings of celebrities and influencers. They should be publicly shamed because their priorities and moral compasses are broken -clearly. The ones who have spoken up, especially over the past 9 months, are the one's who deserve to be supported.
Also, I'd like this blockout to continue. This isn't something that happens for a week and then goes away if 'they do talk,' (Lizzo is the most recent example I can give when she said celebrities have no power then pulled a Rock and Oprah moment by asking her fans to help send funds to someone in Gaza instead of donating herself which she could very well have done -major side eye).
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I also recently posted about another strategy -cart abandonment you can view here:
We have the power folks, and if you haven't already done so please mass block them on all platforms. I already started doing more the other night and will commence.
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satoruxx · 3 days
Text
pairing: vampire poly!sashisu x reader | 1k words summary: basically describing how they bite and drink your blood, description of blood, pet names, teasing, lots of touching lol, somewhat suggestive bc it's vampires ig, but nothing crazy i'm just feral rheya’s note: you don't understand i've been thinking of vampire sashisu since march and ari fueled my obssession yesterday so here we are
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no bc the way there are subtle differences in how vampire poly!sashisu drink your blood…
shoko takes a drink first. it's understood among the three of them that she gets you first—she's the one who found you and brought you into their lives after all. so suguru and satoru sit back and let her get close, her smile going soft as you lock eyes with her. "hey baby," she grins as she gets into your space, and you laugh quietly in return. her lithe fingers gently crawl over the skin of your neck, brushing away any hair and leaving her favorite spot open. shoko loves your neck—has since the very beginning. maybe it's the doctor in her, or just some deeper carnal part of her, but she likes the spot where she can feel your pulse best—can feel it thundering under her lips. "ready?" she murmurs against your throat every time, and you'll sigh over her shoulder and nod yes.
shoko's bites are clean, and she usually restricts it to one spot unless she's feeling particularly ravenous. the side of your throat is hers, even though satoru tends to like it there too—there's a silent understanding between the two that it's her preferred area. when she's drinking her lashes will flutter, hints of red seeping into her normally hazel eyes. one hand will trail up your arm soothingly while the other remains still over your neck. she's reliable and comfortable and so so perfect. shoko is fantastic with her control, and since she's normally first, she'll only take as much blood as she truly needs before sitting back and smiling at you. her eyes dart over your flushed face as she wipes her bloodstained lips clean. "thanks baby," she finally sighs as she tucks your hair behind your ear.
suguru goes next, because he's levelheaded, and somehow seems to care more about your needs than his own. he crawls towards you, wetting his lips as his hooded eyes dart over you. you've been with him long enough to catch the silent question for consent, and he's known you long enough to understand when you say yes. suguru's favorite spot to drink from is your wrist—there's just something so intimate about it. and he always always always presses a kiss to it before his meal. sometimes it's a featherlight brush of lips, other times it's chaste and passionate—but he never forgets it. it's almost like a silent thank you for your generosity.
when suguru drinks, his eyes never stray from you. they remain open and hooded, going dark with a mix of pleasure and affection, but they won't go anywhere else. his gaze is so intense, but it's softened by the smile you can feel stretching across your wrist as he drinks. it's like he wants you to know that you are his only priority. when he drinks, his fingers will brush over your hand to comfort you through any pain because god knows he hates the idea that it causes you pain. he hums against your skin too, as he drinks—he needs you to know how good you taste. and when he's done he has to give the spot one more kiss. gently, of course, because he knows it's sensitive and he just needs a small gesture to display the magnitude of his love for you. "still okay, sweetheart?" he'll ask, lips finding your forehead. he just needs to make sure you're still good.
and then there's satoru, the most eager of the three. he thinks his eagerness is justified—he drank your blood once and has been hooked on it ever since. he claims there's nothing in the world that tastes better, and by the time it's his turn he's practically giddy. satoru is somewhat of a wild card as a vampire. depending on how he's feeling, he may tease you as he drinks or just desperately goes straight for it. regardless of what he's feeling, there is always an underlying tenderness hidden beneath his interactions with you. the same goes for his preferred spot. he's like shoko and suguru—he likes the throat and the wrist; thinks they're both fun. he goes for the throat more commonly because he likes how close you are to him. when he's drinking from your neck his fingers will almost always tangle themselves through your hair—he just likes how it feels and how easy it is for him to maneuver you the way he likes. if he's going for your wrist he'll usually just shut his eyes and drink deeply, because gods above is he on cloud nine when he tastes you.
and yet all of you know that satoru's true favorite spot is your thighs. he loves how flustered it gets you, loves how wild it makes him feel. he's almost always feeling extra playful when he goes for your thighs, and it shows in his deep throaty chuckles that he lets out against your skin. he loves how messy it gets too, because in between his playful laughs your blood ends up dripping down over his chin and staining him red—it makes his head spin and his heart race. but when he's done drinking satoru only cares about making you smile. sometimes he'll give you a silly grin and say "thank you for the meal, pretty," and you'll just weakly shove him away with a fond roll of your eyes. but he just takes your face in his palms and presses a warm kiss to your lips—a muted thank you.
and of course, when everyone's done and satiated, shoko starts quietly fussing over how you need to drink and eat and lay down because they've taken a lot from you. suguru is already grabbing blankets and maneuvering pillows in the way he knows you like best while satoru digs around for his favorite snacks that he's always willing to share with you. the three of them dote on you like crazy, keeping you wrapped in their embrace until you're peacefully dozing off. they just love their little human so much, but how can they not? after all, as insane as it is, you've somehow managed to wrap three powerful vampires around your little pinky finger—not that they would have it any other way.
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dandylovesturtles · 2 days
Note
Using a random number generator for the angst prompts: 20 Starved + 30 Dangerous Temperatures
... and Leo, of course.
OH GOD OK
uh so. I had an idea. and I decided to write it for this ask I got forever ago. And then, uh.
it really
really got out of hand.
This is a pretty dark fic (even for me) and at the current moment in time it is hurt/no comfort. I do intend to write a part 2, probably tomorrow, but as of the time I'm typing this author's note I've been writing for around 5+ hours straight and I need to take a break! So please, if you don't want to read all this without the comfort included, feel free to wait for the next part before reading! I'll link it and the end once it's posted.
Content warnings: Kidnapping, confinement, psychological torture, nonconsensual voyeurism (I guess this is the best way to put this; Leo isn't doing anything sexual but it's still violating), mild violence, HEAVY ANGST, Leo just having the shittiest time possible.
I HOPE?? YOU ENJOY??? hahahaha....
btw this is set between S2 and the movie (though tbh its canon compliance is... /waves hand)
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When Leo imagined himself getting captured by some kind of shady, quasi-governmental agency intent on imprisoning mutants, it was never anything like this.
When he let his mind go there, he always pictured that he would be strapped to a table. Maybe muzzled. That scientists would stand over him, scalpels and drills in hand, and start to take him apart. That they'd examine him piece by piece, and wouldn't give him any anesthesia while they did it.
But there is no table, no muzzle, no restraints at all. He's just in a room.
Well, a cell, technically - the steel door is locked, and there are no windows, no furniture but a bare cot in one corner and a lone toilet in another. But it doesn't really look like a cell. It looks like a room.
A very, very white room. White walls. White ceiling. White tiles (with white grout, even). The toilet is white, a roll of white toilet paper on the floor next to it. The only things that aren't white are the cot and the door and Leo himself.
They took his gear and his weapons, because of course they did. Since the door is steel, he already knows he's not breaking it down; he gives it a half-hearted slam anyway, just to say he tried. He should be able to just portal out, except he hasn't learned how to use his portals without his swords to channel his ninpo through, and there's nothing in here with him that he can use to make new ones.
So he's stuck. He's going to have to wait until someone opens that door for some reason. Or, of course, until his family swings by to pick him up. Though, if possible, he'd like to escape before that happens. The image in his mind, of sitting outside his cell and grinning at them as they arrive to rescue him, is too cool to pass up.
He's not sure how long it's been already. He knows that they knocked him out after ambushing him, and he doesn't know how long he was unconscious. The heavy molasses feel of his head and arms when he woke up suggests that he was drugged. It's wearing off now, though, which means he has a clear head to take in the all of nothing that's in the room with him.
He sits on the cot he woke up on and waits for something to happen.
There's no way for him to tell time, but he thinks it's an hour or so later when there's a sudden beep, and then the sound of a metal panel sliding up. It's a slot near the door that has just opened - inside the revealed alcove is a bottle of water.
He comes to it curiously, taking a long look around the bottle. The slot doesn't open straight through, and even if it did, it's not big enough for anything more than his arm or a foot to fit through. He thinks it must function like an airlock, or maybe they slid the bottle down from somewhere above - he feels around just in case, and finds that the slot is enclosed on all sides but his. Probably his airlock theory, then.
As soon as he removes the bottle, the panel slams shut again.
"You're really determined to keep me in here, huh?" he says to whatever hidden cameras are watching him. He carries the water bottle back to his cot, but doesn't open it, instead setting it down on the floor by the wall. The paranoid part of his brain, the one that doesn't miss a trick, is reminding him that drinking the water is probably a bad idea. Who knows what they might have put in it?
He sits on the cot for awhile longer. Still, nothing happens.
"I'm getting pretty bored in here," he says for the audience that must be somewhere. "Come on, you have a one of a kind turtle in here, and you don't even want to talk to me?"
Time passes, slow and quiet. Leo goes through periods where his anxiety spikes and he starts to wonder if he's been abandoned by whoever brought him here, before the boredom eventually numbs the anxiety back out. Another bottle of water is eventually delivered, and this one he keeps in his hands after retrieving it. It's completely unlabeled, not even a "Use by" date printed on the bottle itself, so it doesn't provide much mental stimulation. He spins the bottle to make little whirlpools inside, because it's something to do.
He's trying to make the fastest whirlpool he can when he hears a sudden click, different from the beep of the water bottle hole, and he looks up just in time to see a large section of the wall in front of him turn black, and then light up to show the room beyond his cell.
He jolts, setting the bottle aside. He knew they must be watching him, but somehow he didn't catch that part of the wall was a whole window.
His audience isn't very large - five people, unless there are others he can't see. Two wear lab coats, two wear fatigues... but the one who comes to stand directly in front of the window is wearing a black suit, with steel rimmed glasses. He leans forward, and speaks into a small microphone.
"Inmate 24365," says the suited man. "I am Agent Bishop, of the Earth Protection Force. My subordinates tell me that you can speak and understand the English language. Is this correct?"
"Qué?" Leo asks.
Bishop does not look amused. "Inmate 24365," he says, "you have two options. You can cooperate with me, answer my questions, and we will make your stay here more comfortable. Do not cooperate, and we will make your stay uncomfortable. Do you understand?"
Leo pretends to hem and haw over this. "How comfortable are we talkin'?"
"I'm sure you would like some dinner."
"You know, I'm not really hungry." He says it to be difficult, but it's actually true - the uncertainty of the situation has put his stomach in too many knots to want to eat anything. "Maybe if you offer me some comic books? Or a TV?
To Bishop's credit, his face doesn't so much as twitch. He keeps his steely eyes locked on Leo. "Answer our questions, and you will receive food. Do you understand?"
Leo stays noncommittal. "What are the questions?"
He's expecting Bishop to ask about his family. He's not expecting what comes next.
"How many gateways are there between New York City and the hidden yokai enclave?" he asks. "How are these gateways accessed? What kind of defensive capabilities do the yokai have?"
Leo keeps the surprise off his face. Bishop thinks he's a yokai.
This is, overall, a good development. Bishop might not know about Leo's family, then, or at least not know that they live on the surface. This means the Earth Protection Force likely isn't pursuing his brothers, which means they will be safe until they can help Leo get out of here.
He doesn't let the relief show through, either. Bishop doesn't know anything, and now Leo just has to ride out the next few hours until the calvary arrives.
"You know," he says, "I think I'm good with my current levels of comfort."
If Bishop is mad or frustrated or dismayed by this choice, he doesn't show it. His expression stays stony as he stares in at Leo, sizing him up.
"Very well," he says after a few more seconds. "I will see you tomorrow, then."
The window goes dark, and then turns stark white to match the walls. Leo wants to go over and tap at it, see if it feels different when he touches it, but knowing that Bishop is surely still there, watching him, keeps him rooted to the cot.
He goes back to making whirlpools with the bottle. If they aren't going to entertain him, he isn't going to entertain them, either.
-----
Another water bottle comes some time after his talk with Bishop. He finally opens this one and takes a cautious sip. Nothing tastes off or strange, so he drinks more. They don't want to feed him, but they're fine keeping him hydrated. No reason to stay thirsty, then.
He wishes the water calmed the anxiety still roiling in his stomach, but if anything it just makes him feel even more energized. He bounces his foot and surveys his room again, looking for any weak spots or access points. He can't see anything, though, other than the areas where he knows the water bottle hole and window are; even the vents that relentlessly blow cold air into the room are well hidden.
Knowing that there are people standing just outside his cell watching him, like some kind of zoo animal, puts him on edge. The window is so big that he's pretty sure the only blind spots are either directly underneath it or right by the door on the same wall. After debating it, he leaves his cot and sits on the floor underneath the window, surveying the room from a different angle now and still coming up empty. At least they're going to have a harder time staring at him.
His eyes catch on the toilet in the corner, directly across from the window. It's not in the blind spot, and realizing this makes his insides lurch uncomfortably - hopefully he has a chance to bust out before using it becomes necessary.
Though, he's not sure when that chance is going to come. If they have a slot to pass him water, they could use that to pass him food, too, so it's unlikely that anyone is going to open the door unless they need to take him out.
So maybe his fantasy of being outside when his brothers arrive isn't going to happen. Well, that's okay; he'll just be sure to make some other part of their escape totally rad. That will make up for the embarrassment of getting kidnapped a block from Run of the Mill.
(Seriously, some kind of ninja he is, to let a bunch of human soldiers sneak up on him.)
He drains the water bottle, then starts to roll it back and forth across the floor, like a cat batting at a toy. Leo's not sure what's worse right now: the worry or the boredom. There's nothing to look at and no one to talk to, just an empty room with him and his water bottles.
He's too keyed up to sleep, and the fluorescent lights are still on, anyway. He has no way of telling what time it is, so maybe it just isn't that late yet. And even sitting here, in the blind spot, the idea of closing his eyes while people are watching makes unease crawl up his spine. Staying awake is the easy choice. He'll sleep after he's out of here.
So he sits under the window and rolls his bottle back and forth, back and forth, with only the sound of plastic on tile to keep his thoughts company.
-----
The first three water bottles came pretty regularly, but now there is a very long stretch where nothing is delivered. Leo is starting to think maybe it really is night now. They don't turn off the lights in his cell, though, and he has no controls to do it himself. At least it helps with the whole "staying awake" thing.
Just in case they've decided to suspend his water privileges along with the food, he holds off drinking any more for now.
Speaking of food, his appetite has finally decided to return. His stomach starts to growl at him after several hours (he thinks) of sitting in the floor, an annoying emptiness in his stomach. Knowing there's no food accessible just makes the hunger sharper, but he puts it out of his mind the best he can with nothing else to focus on. He can eat once he's free.
Which should be soon. Seriously, his brothers have to be on their way by now, right?
He's pretty sure it's been the better part of a day, if not a whole day, since he was kidnapped. And, okay, he's willing to give them some leeway; it's understandable if they got a late start. He did storm out of the lair after his latest fight with Raph, and no one ever came to check on him when he did that. Understandably, he thinks, because who wants to be around Bad Mood Leo? Not even Leo wants to be around Bad Mood Leo!
But he'd already turned back into Good Mood Leo by the time he left Hueso's, so surely they knew it had been more than enough time. They would have noticed when he didn't come home. They would have realized something happened. They would be looking for him.
And if they're looking for him, they'll find him! Obviously.
His stomach growls again, and Leo leans his head back against the wall behind him. Maybe he shouldn't think of being at Hueso's. Now he just wants pizza. Pepperoni and mushroom, maybe, or Hawaiian. Mix it up a little with the barbeque chicken.
Another growl. He groans out loud.
He stays awake, twisting and crinkling the empty bottle in his hands, until another full one finally arrives.
-----
No chance to escape comes before using the toilet is necessary.
He tried to hold out, he really did, but he ended up drinking more water to stave off the growing hunger, and it's lowkey cold in here, which doesn't help. Still, the issue of the window sends an uneasy shiver up his spine, doubting that any people outside will feel the need to turn away and give him some privacy. Maybe he should have gone while he suspected it was nighttime.
(Maybe he shouldn't assume they ever aren't watching him.)
He stands up and walks over to the cot, giving it a light nudge with his foot. In a stroke of luck, it isn't bolted to the floor, and it's light enough that he can lift it. The black mesh it's made of is tightly woven, enough that not much is visible through it. It will have to do.
He picks it up and drags it over in front of the toilet, propping it up on its legs so it makes a small wall between himself and the window. It's hardly ideal, but the semblance of privacy makes him relax somewhat.
(He can't think about how there are surely cameras in the room watching him from all angles, making his attempt at a barrier moot. He knows better than anyone that sometimes pleasant lies are necessary.)
After he does his business, he leaves the cot propped where it is; it's not like he's sleeping on it. There's no sink for him to wash his hands, but he's never been the strictest about it, anyway (much to Donnie's disgust). He returns to his spot under the window, squeezing the water bottle to the rhythm of the first song that comes to mind.
Only two verses and a bridge later, the window above his head turns black, then goes clear. Thinking that Bishop might have been watching him just now makes a cold, slimy feeling roll down his spine. Creepy!
"Inmate 24365," comes Bishop's voice through the unseen speaker. "Stand."
Leo doesn't. He stays right where he is, under the window.
Bishop waits only a few seconds. Then Leo hears him say, "Temperature down two degrees."
He gets up at that, turning and leaning his arm against the window. It strangely doesn't feel like glass, even though it must be. "It's already cold enough in here," he says. He wonders how they can hear him, when he doesn't see a microphone on his side.
"You were told your conditions would only be made comfortable after you answer our questions," Bishop informs him. "The same as before: how many gateways are there between New York City and the hidden yokai enclave? How are these gateways-"
"How about you answer my questions first," Leo interjects. "You keep calling me "inmate," but I haven't been charged with anything. Pretty sure you can't detain me without cause."
"The EPF is authorized to detain non-human inmates for as long as deemed necessary for the security of the United States," says Bishop smoothly. "Probable cause doctrine does not apply in this case."
"That's gotta be unconstitutional."
"The constitution does not recognize the rights of yokai. You have no right to counsel, no right to a speedy trial, and no right to protections from cruel and unusual punishments." Bishop's stare is colder than the temperature in the room. "But I am not an unfair man. Answer my questions, and I will provide you with food and clothing."
Leo tosses a glance over his shoulder. "How about a private bathroom?"
Bishop's expression stays ever in place, unimpressed and stoic. "Food and clothing," he repeats.
Leo gives his head a shake. "Then nope," he says, popping the "p". "I plead the fifth."
"As I have already explained, the Bill of Rights does not apply to you."
"That's such crap." Leo bangs his fist on the window. "You can't just keep me here forever for no reason!"
"I do have reasons." Bishop leans closer to the window, his eyes narrowing. "Let's try a different question. What is your relation to Baron Draxum?"
The surprise is fast and sharp, but Leo just manages to keep it from showing on his face. "Who?" he asks innocently, even as the panic sets into his chest. If they know about Draxum, what else do they know?
"We know you are acquainted with him," says Bishop. "What is the nature of your relationship?"
Leo knows they aren't bluffing - why would they bring up that very specific name otherwise? There's no lie he can tell that won't reveal something.
So he doesn't say anything. Instead, he turns his back to the window and sits down, staring resolutely at the opposite wall.
Bishop clicks his tongue. "Very well," he says. "I am a patient man. I can wait." Then, more muffled, like he's facing away from the microphone, Leo hears him say, "Temperature down two degrees."
The window goes dark, then turns back to white. Leo doesn't move for a long time.
-----
The third water bottle arrives, so he guesses that's the end of day two.
He's shaking as he gets up to retrieve it, adding it to his growing water bottle hoard. He's gone through three and a half by now, but he's trying not to drink them too fast.
As promised, no food is delivered, and his stomach growls and rumbles in protest. The water helps, but only slightly. He needs to eat.
He also needs to sleep.
The panicked adrenaline spikes that have kept him awake this long are starting to die down, with more and more long stretches of exhaustion between them. The shaking is near constant, bringing with it the weird jittery feeling he gets when his insomnia gets particularly bad.
The window is still unnerving him. The idea of sleeping while they're watching him feels staggeringly unsafe.
But he doesn't think he can hold out now until his family gets here. Sure, they're probably getting close (they have to be getting close), but they're sure taking their sweet time. And he's just so tired.
After a long internal debate, he lays down on the cold tile floor. It's not at all comfortable, but somehow he doubts the cot would be any better. Besides, even if he moves the cot under the window, he thinks it would be easier to see him if he uses it. So on the floor it is.
He presses as close to the wall as he can, curling up into a ball for warmth. He wishes he had a blanket.
He wishes he was home.
He squeezes his eyes shut tight and forces back the sudden wave of overwhelming homesickness. There's no reason to feel this way. It's only been two days! What is he, a baby?
It's fine. It's all fine. They're definitely on his trail now. Raph is leading the team. Donnie is using some kind of invention to blah blah blah nerd stuff. Mikey is razzing his tazz. April is using her investigative journalism skills to find clues.
They're on their way. He just has to hold out a little longer. He can do this.
He sleeps, and in his dreams, something grabs him tight and drags him down and down and down where he can't escape.
-----
The same routine plays out over the next two days.
Leo gets two water bottles delivered, spaced, if he had to guess, about five hours apart. Bishop comes to visit him some time after the second bottle. Leo refuses to answer his questions. Bishop turns the temperature down and then leaves. A few hours later his last water bottle comes. Then nothing for the whole night.
They still don't turn off his lights, but exhaustion is starting to win over the brightness.
More than a few times, Leo tries to summon a portal on his own, without his swords. If his family is going to take their sweet time in coming, he might as well try to help them out. He tries to summon his ninpo (without glowing), tries to feel the tug inside of him that he always does when he teleports, tries to envision the place he wants to go and tunnel through space to get there.
Nothing. Always nothing.
(Donnie can make his constructs independent of his bo staff. Raph can send his projections away from his sai. Mikey's learning to use mystic powers without his nunchucks. So why does Leo need his katana? Why is he the only one this useless?)
It probably doesn't help that he's so damn hungry. It's a constant companion now, a low and hollow ache that chooses inconvenient times to turn into white hot stabs of urgency, into seizing cramps that steal his breath. The water only helps so much - it keeps him alive but doesn't satisfy, doesn't soothe. In some ways it just makes the feeling worse.
And he's always shaking, too, but he doesn't know if that's the hunger or the cold.
Maybe the cold wouldn't bother him so much if it were at least still. But the vents blow fresh air inside relentlessly, and no matter where he goes he can't seem to get out of the direct stream. The cold wind batters his tired body, and there's places his skin is starting to turn dry and flaky. His nose won't stop running, and he's allowed himself a small section of his one roll of toilet paper to blow it, already stiff and congealed and disgusting.
It's miserable.
And there's still nothing to do.
He stacks a pyramid out of his empty water bottles, knocks it down, then stacks it up again. He tries to come up with some new and exciting ways to demolish it, but it's only new and exciting for so long.
He spends a few hours of day three singing karaoke as obnoxiously as possible. He hopes everyone outside enjoys the performance.
He recounts every issue of Jupiter Jim he knows to himself, then the plot of every movie. Then he goes through Lou Jitsu films, then anything else he can think of. That eats up a good chunk of day four.
By the time he gets his first water bottle of day five, he's out of ideas to entertain himself. He's never been good at this. He doesn't know how introverts like Donnie can go multiple days without talking to someone.
But when Bishop comes back with his daily offer of conversation, Leo once again impolitely declines.
-----
Something new happens on night five.
It's been a long time since the last water bottle. Leo has been trying to sleep, but it's not coming easy; he's exhausted, but the floor is so cold and he's so sore from staying on it night after night. Not to mention, his nightmares have been getting worse, and he isn't eager to return to them.
Add on the hunger, and sleep is elusive.
Suddenly, there's the telltale shadow of the window above him turning dark - this time, though, it doesn't light up as much as normal. Confused and curious, Leo sits up and takes a peek.
The room beyond is dim, only the glow of a green EXIT sign and a small desk lamp lighting the space. But it's enough for Leo to see a man standing there, looking inside. It's not Bishop - in fact, he doesn't recognize this person at all. They're wearing fatigues, but it's not anyone he's seen in the room during Bishop's normal interrogations.
The man catches sight of Leo, and the grinning leer on his face makes Leo regret looking.
He beckons for Leo to stand up. Warily, Leo does, unable to help but keep his arms folded tight over his chest. Not for the first time, he wishes he had some clothes - his gear, at the very least. Anything to not feel quite so exposed.
The man reaches down and picks something up, holding it aloft for Leo's inspection. "Want a sandwich?" he asks into the microphone.
The sandwich looks like white bread and bologna. No cheese, no other toppings that Leo can spot. Maybe some mustard, if anything. Overall, the most boring possible sandwich he could have been offered.
Leo's mouth is watering.
He has to swallow hard before answering. He doesn't trust this. Even if his stomach is slamming up and down at the promise of food, food, food.
"I'm not hungry," he lies.
The man laughs. It's not a kind sound. "Sure you ain't," he says. "You spend every night curled up on the floor like the dumb animal you are. Can you even eat this?" He waves the sandwich for emphasis.
Leo doesn't answer. He takes a step back from the window, like that will put any kind of distance between them. Like that will save him.
The man watches him with a sleezy grin. He waves the sandwich again.
"You want this," he says.
Leo shakes his head.
"You really sure?"
Leo shudders. Stands tall. Nods.
The man watches him for a long, long moment. Leo fights the urge to hide.
Finally, with a shrug, the man says, "Suit yourself."
Then he starts eating the sandwich. Right where Leo can watch.
Leo's stomach growls, loud and angry in his ears, and he has to physically hold himself back from crumpling.
After several bites, the man suddenly reaches out and taps the window, indicating the cot stood up in front of the toilet.
"That," he says, giving another tap for emphasis, "doesn't do shit."
Leo wants to crawl out of his own skin.
The need to hide is suddenly too great. He rushes to the cot, grabbing it and dragging it back to the blind spot under the window. He sets it down on all four legs, so it's as close to the floor as possible.
Then he lies down on his belly and wriggles underneath. It's a tight squeeze, and the cot ends up pushed up by his shell, suspended in the air, but he doesn't care.
He curls up in his pleasant lie of privacy and bites his hand to keep from screaming himself hoarse.
After an eternity, the window above him turns white again. It doesn't matter. Leo knows he's still there. Still watching.
-----
"You look tired," Bishop greets him. Leo answers with a dead-eyed stare.
"I keep telling you, if you want your conditions to improve, all you have to do is answer my questions."
Leo says nothing. He just stares, arms wrapped tight around himself to try and keep his body heat in.
"How many gateways are there between New York City and the hidden yokai enclave? How are these gateways accessed?"
For a moment, Leo considers just... telling him.
His family doesn't live in the Hidden City. The yokai have never exactly greeted them with open arms. What does he care if these military guys go after them? At least then, maybe he can finally eat something.
That's not what a hero does, Leo! echoes Mind Raph disapprovingly. Innocent people will get hurt!
Right. He's a hero. And heroes don't give into the demands of shitty guys like Bishop.
Leo swallows hard. "No comment."
Bishop's face changes ever so slightly: his brow creases. Leo wonders if that's good or bad for him.
"You understand that Baron Draxum is a known threat, don't you?" he asks. "We are aware of his plans to commit mass murder on the human population. We also know that he has been dormant for some time, and we need information on what he is planning."
Leo thinks of Barry's ambitions to be recognized as the best lunchperson in all of America and can't help but laugh. It comes out cracked and wheezing.
Bishop's furrow gets deeper. "Do you think this is funny?"
"Little bit," says Leo.
Bishop has a chasm to rival Raph's now. Leo knows he shouldn't, but he grins. It's his one moment of triumph - only he can be this aggravating.
And then Bishop says, "Temperature down seven degrees," and that wipes the smile right off Leo's face.
-----
The plastic of the water bottles is soft and pliable and feels weirdly good under Leo's teeth.
He chews the top of the bottle, gnawing at it until it's completely flattened out, pockmarked with little tiny indents from his incisors. It's not eating - it won't fill his belly or ease the persistent hunger pains. But something about the motion is soothing. The place-bo effect.
Pla-ce-bo, corrects Donnie's voice in his mind, sounding testy.
Where are you? Leo thinks back.
There's no answer.
He's gnawed his way through four water bottles. There's eighteen in total now, two and a half still full of water. He thought about using one to wash up a bit, but decided against it in the end. He knows he stinks, but the last thing he wants right now is to be wet. Not when he's starting to see his breath.
Oh well. It's not like he has anywhere to be.
He turns his attentions to the lids next. These are harder and thus tougher to chew. Still, if Leo uses his molars, he can eventually crack the lip, and then bend the plastic in and in, chewing until he ends up with a flat disc.
It's just small enough that Leo could swallow it, if he wanted to.
He thinks he remembers watching some kind of wildlife documentary. Or maybe he didn't watch it himself, but Mikey told him about it. Or maybe April? He doesn't know. His thoughts swim in and out and get lost on the way.
Point is. Sea turtles in the wild die all the time because of plastic in the water. They cut open their stomachs and find trash inside.
Well, Leo is a turtle in captivity. Maybe that means he's immune. Maybe he could swallow this plastic lid, and then he'd finally feel full and the pain pain pain of his empty stomach would go away.
He does not swallow the plastic lid. But it's more tempting than he'd like to admit.
It's going to be okay. When his family gets him out of here, they'll have a big pizza to celebrate. Maybe he can even talk them into letting him have the last slice.
It has to be any moment now, right? It's been a week. They have to be closing in. Any moment now, the door will open, and there they'll be to take him home.
The air conditioning blows relentlessly against his skin. He sneezes, then rubs the snot on his arm. He's given up on the tissue paper.
It'll be over soon. It has to be. Just hang in there, Leon, just a little longer.
He picks up another bottle and starts chewing.
-----
He's playing a mindless little game with his flattened bottle lids the next time Bishop comes.
"I'm surprised you still have any energy at all," says Bishop, and Leo wants to punch him.
(Really, he wants to do more than that. But those kinds of thoughts always make him feel weird and bad, so he pushes them away.)
"You should have learned by now," he says, pushing to his feet and trying not to show how badly he's trembling, "you can't keep me down."
"This is all unnecessary," says Bishop. "I'll feed you as soon as you answer my questions."
Leo barks out a laugh. "Sure you will."
"I will," says Bishop. He turns and says over his shoulder, "Bring it here."
One of the men in fatigues steps forward and hands a tray with a covered plate over to Bishop. Bishop uncovers the tray and holds it where Leo can see.
Baked chicken, broccoli with cheese, mashed potatoes.
Leo's stomach twists and cramps so painfully he has to bend at the hips and clutch his midriff.
"This is yours, as soon as you answer my questions."
Leo pointedly keeps from looking at the food. He shakes his head. He can't. He can't.
"Such persistence." Bishop's voice is scolding now. "You understand that you are a known accomplice to a terrorist, don't you? But if you become a cooperating witness, you will be granted some leniency."
Leo barks a laugh, lifting his eyes to look at Bishop's face, and pointedly not the food. "What's the point?" he asks. "If I'm not... protected by the constitution, or whatever. Are you going to let me go?"
"No," says Bishop. "But as I have told you, your conditions will become more comfortable." He waves the tray of food.
Leo stares at him, before a manic smile splits his face.
"You... stupid bastard. I can't even answer your questions." He slams a shaking hand against his plastron. "I'm not even a yokai! Do you get that? I'm not a yokai!"
Bishop looks skeptical. "Obviously you are."
"I'm not!" Leo rages. "I'm a mutant! I'm from New York! I don't even live in the Hidden City!"
Bishop's eyes flash. "I see," he says, "so you do know of it."
Leo falters, his body going slack.
What an obvious, stupid mistake.
(Some face-man he is.)
It takes Leo a long moment to answer. Bishop stays right where he is, holding the food so tantalizingly close and yet still out of reach.
"...I don't know about the gateways," he says finally. "I don't know about their defensive capabilities. I don't know what Baron Draxum is planning."
"Your lies are obvious," says Bishop. "You really don't want this? It's your last chance today."
Leo stares at the food. His mouth is watering so hard it might start to drip. Would it really be so bad to answer? They don't live in the Hidden City. And Draxum dropped him off a roof.
Draxum is trying to change, says Mind Raph. You see what these guys are like. You can't turn the yokai over to them. They'll hurt them!
What about me? he asks. Is it okay if I get hurt?
You're a hero, Leo, says Mind Raph. You can deal with it for a little longer. It's just a room. Just a little cold. Just some hunger.
He's a hero. He can deal with it. He can. He can.
He'll make them proud. Show them they can trust him.
It takes everything he has, but he shakes his head.
Bishop tuts. Then he throws the entire plate in the trash.
"Tomorrow, then," he says. Then the window is gone.
Leo collapses on his cot and tries not to cry.
-----
After his third water bottle on day eight, one of the fluorescent lights over his head flickers and then dies out.
It's not surprising, since they keep them running twenty-four seven. The blessedly dimmed lighting is actually nice, for once. Leo thinks maybe he could get some sleep, if the gnawing hunger and the constant shivers don't keep him awake.
He's just closed his eyes and snuggled up under his cot when it occurs to him: they may come in to fix it. If keeping the lights on day and night is part of their plan to torture him, to keep him exhausted and anxious and on edge, then they have to.
Which means his chance is finally here.
He has to be careful about this. He has to be ready to move, but he can't let them know he's ready to move. He has to let them think he's too weak, too exhausted, to make an escape attempt.
(He can't let himself think that, though. He can't give up before he tries.)
So he stays under his cot, but subtly shifts it so it won't restrict his movement. He has to be ready to burst out as soon as he gets a chance. Get past whoever comes in, then get out the door. It's after the last water bottle, so it's nighttime. There will be fewer people. He can do this. He can do this.
Find his swords. Make a portal. Get out.
Just as he was thinking, after a long time has passed, there is a loud warning beep, different from the water bottle beep. An automated voice says from somewhere unseen, "Inmates clear the door. Security personnel entering. Stay still and you will not be harmed."
Then the door slides open, and someone comes in.
It's a man wearing fatigues. Leo thinks this is the one who "offered" him a sandwich the other day. He's holding some kind of gun with a long barrel. He does a sweep of the room with his eyes, coming to rest on Leo under his cot. He gives Leo the same leering grin, and waves the barrel of the gun in his direction.
"Now you behave, and we'll get along just fine," he says.
He steps to the side, and another man enters, this one wearing the kind of jumpsuit Leo sees janitors in on TV. He's carrying a stepladder in one hand and a long tube in the other. Is that what fluorescent lights look like? Leo didn't know.
The man walks to the middle of the room and sets up his stepladder. Then he walks up and pulls off the light casing. When he unhooks the old bulb, it causes the other bulb to flicker, just for a few moments.
Leo explodes out from under the cot, grabbing the man in fatigues by the legs and yanking as hard as he can. The man yelps in surprise, and Leo hears the sound of the gun going off in a random direction. The janitor shouts and drops the light bulb - the sound of shattering glass joins the cacophony.
Leo jumps to his feet and runs out the door they had been too stupid to close, sprinting toward the EXIT sign. He's exhausted and shaky but he's coursing with adrenaline, and he leans on it hard to keep him moving. Don't stop, don't stop, get out of here. He'll figure out what to do next once he's free.
Past the exit sign there's a large open room with desks and computer monitors. Most of them are off, but one lingering woman in a lab coat, seated at her desk, screams when she sees Leo dash through the middle of the office space.
"Security!" she screams into a device on her chest. "Inmate is escaping! Inmate is escaping!"
Leo doesn't have time to shut her up, he just keeps moving. He pushes through the next door and arrives in a hallway; he only has time to glance one way and then the other before scrambling to the left, hoping it was a good choice.
He rounds a corner and sees another green EXIT sign up ahead. It's not where he meant to go - he meant to find where they're keeping his swords first. But he hears shouting behind him and doesn't stop. Fine, so no portals - he'll figure out something else once he's away from here.
He throws himself forward into the exit door, which leads him into yet another hallway. Another long sprint, with shouting and slamming doors at his heels, and then finally, finally, a third EXIT sign, and he crashes outside.
Where there's snow on the ground, snow on the trees.
It steals his breath away. There shouldn't be snow. It's May.
Where is he?
He takes a breath of air so cold it seizes his lungs, then takes a step forward. He'll worry about that-
BANG!
A piercing pain in his shoulder nearly sends him toppling over. Leo shouts, grasping for the wound and feeling something sticking out of his skin. He grabs it and yanks, pulling it free.
It's a dart.
Damn it, he thinks, before his vision goes woozy, and he collapses into the snow.
-----
"Are you proud of your little escape attempt?" comes Bishop's voice.
Leo looks up from his cot. Bishop has to get so close to the window to see him that his nose is pressed flat against it. It should be hilarious, but Leo doesn't really have the energy to laugh. Or to do much of anything.
He's hungry. He's tired. He's cold. He's still sluggish from the drugs.
And they threw away all his water bottles. Fuckers.
Leo rolls over on the cot and covers his ears.
"What a childish response," says Bishop, and that's funny, too, because Leo literally is a child. Or a teenager, anyway. He doesn't feel like it will help him much to point that out, though.
"All you have to do is answer my questions, and all this will be fixed."
That's the funniest thing of all. The idea that he spills his guts and Bishop treats him to a five course meal to make up for all the pain up till now. Hilarious.
He says nothing.
Bishop sighs.
"You are likely still affected by the tranquilizing agent. I'll return tomorrow."
Before he leaves, he says, "Temperature down five degrees."
-----
The same man is back that night. He opens the window and looks down at Leo with the same leering smile. Leo can't even take satisfaction in the bandage on the side of his head.
"Neat little trick you had yesterday," he says. "Almost got me fired."
Leo wishes it had gotten him fired. But he clearly has no luck in this situation.
"You know, I respect the attempt. And you probably would have gotten farther with a little food in your belly." The man reaches down, then retrieves a sandwich, as mouth-wateringly unappetizing as the last time. "You sure you don't want this?"
And Leo knows he shouldn't trust this guy. Leo knows he should say no.
But he's just...
so...
hungry.
So he gets up. And he turns to the window. On shaking limbs that can barely hold him upright anymore. With a body that is laced with pain and aches and cramps.
And he nods.
The man's smile gets wider. "What do you say?" he asks, in the sing-song tone of a parent scolding a child.
It makes a sick nausea rise in Leo's throat. But he wants the sandwich.
"Please," he gasps out.
"Mmm... not good enough." The man waves the sandwich. "You want this? You beg for it."
Leo stares, eyes wide. But the sandwich... the sandwich...
He gets down on his knees. Feels a searing flush of humiliation. His stomach is rolling and gurgling and cramping with pain, a hollow, empty chasm inside him desperate to be filled.
He lowers his head.
"Please," he says. "I... I want the sandwich. I'm... begging you, please."
The man laughs, loud and long. When Leo finally finds it in him to raise his eyes, the sandwich is already half eaten.
"Hey, good job," says the man, licking a bit of mustard off his thumb. "That was real convincin'."
And then he takes another bite.
Just like that, Leo forgets about the pain, the aches, the cold, the hunger. All that's left is pure, white hot, screaming rage.
Leo lunges at the window and slams his fist into it so hard it cracks. Not enough to break the glass. Not enough to free him. But enough that the man startles and steps back.
And Leo starts to laugh. High and manic and unhinged even to his own ears.
"I'll kill you," he says, and his voice sounds almost joking, and yet- "I'll kill you. You're dead. You're dead, as soon as I get out of here, you're dead, I'll kill you, I'LL KILL YOU!"
The man has dropped the rest of his sandwich. He fumbles for his gun, left somewhere on a table to the side. For one satisfying moment, Leo sees a flash of genuine fear on the man's face.
"Shit," he says, his voice far away the further he gets from the microphone. "Pretty scary, frogboy."
Then he slams a button, and the window goes black, and Leo gets a glimpse of his own reflection.
His face is gaunt and drawn. His eyes are ringed by deep circles, so dark they look like bruises. His body is shaking like a leaf.
And his stripes...
His stripes are lit up like when he uses his ninpo, but they aren't their usual Neon Leon bright.
They're almost black.
Leo gasps and stumbles back just as the window goes white. The full body quakes he feels now aren't from the cold or the hunger or the exhaustion.
He turns and sinks onto the cot. Puts his face in his hands and tries to breathe. Tries to will his ninpo to stop rolling and snapping and to go back to normal.
This isn't what he wants. This isn't him.
This place is breaking him. He's letting it break him.
He pulls his legs up onto the cot and buries his face in his knees. Wraps his arms around them and rocks gently, the way Donnie used to do when things got overwhelming. Maybe he understands that better, now.
This isn't him. He's Leonardo, Neon Leon, the face-man, the jokester! The one who's always ready with a quip and a laugh. The one who can do anything!
Except portal out of his room. Except escape from this building. Except resist begging for a sandwich like he's a dog.
Leo's breath hitches, and for once he doesn't stop himself. He knows the guy outside is probably watching. He knows there are cameras recording this. He hates giving them the satisfaction.
But he's tired, and hungry, and he...
He wants to go home.
He cries, silently, until he's completely rung out.
-----
Maybe they aren't coming.
That's the thought that pops into his head, just a bit after the first water bottle of the day.
He knew they would have gotten a late start, because he stormed out. And he knew it would take them awhile to figure out who took him - he hadn't heard of the EPF before, so why would they? And he knew it would take them time to figure out where he had been taken, which must have been pretty far out if it's snowing outside. But the EPF got him here within a night, he's pretty sure, so unless they have a super fast jet, he must still be on the continent somewhere.
So... so surely they must have figured it out by now, right? Raph is leading the team. Donnie is doing science things. Mikey is razzing his tazz. April is using her investigative skills.
Unless they aren't coming.
Maybe... maybe it's true. Why would they want him back, after all? Leo took Raph's leader position, and since then all he'd managed to do was piss Raph off. Mikey and Donnie hadn't been happy about it, either, and he'd noticed that they'd been avoiding him more and more. April claimed she wasn't taking sides, but she always seemed to be on Raph's anyway. And Dad... well, he was probably disappointed that he made Leo leader only for him to do nothing and then get himself kidnapped.
He doesn't bring anything to the team. He doesn't bring anything to the family. And no one likes his jokes.
So. Maybe they just... aren't looking. Maybe they aren't going to come.
Maybe he's held out this long for no reason. Maybe he's been cold and starving for no reason at all.
Maybe it's time to give up.
---
Don't give up, says a new voice in his head.
You are not alone.
-----
He has no energy left to stand when Bishop comes. The man looks down at him, lips pressed into a thin line.
"You don't look well," he observes.
No shit, Leo wants to say.
"This has gone on long enough. Answer my questions, and we will provide you with food, clothing, and medical care."
The list is getting longer. Leo's fuzzy eyes stare up at Bishop. Medical care. Does he need that?
"You already know what I want to know." Bishop has a furrow between his eyebrows now. "Will you talk to me?"
He could. He could do it. He could finally have some relief from all the pain. All the hunger. All the cold.
But they might hurt the yokai in the Hidden City.
They might hurt Draxum.
They might hurt his family.
And maybe, if nothing else... if Leo could just keep his mouth shut, just this once...
Maybe that would finally make Raph, Dad, and everyone proud of him.
Maybe they'd finally trust him.
Maybe, at least, he can have that much.
Leo shakes his head.
Bishop scowls.
"Temperature down ten degrees."
-----
Leo isn't shivering anymore. That's probably a bad sign.
He can still see his breath, each time he exhales. It rises like smoke, before disappearing into the air.
He doesn't have any energy left, not even to chew on his new water bottles. He hasn't even collected the last two, and they sit crowded together in the slot, untouched.
He kind of wishes they had just dissected him from the beginning. It would have been faster. Freezing to death, he's decided, is a real zero out of ten. Starving to death isn't any better. No stars.
Even though the damn lights are still on, he feels extremely sleepy. It's probably the cold. He wonders what will happen if he brumates. He's never done it before, not like his little cousins, and he has no idea if it's even safe.
Probably not, given he has no calorie reserves left. All it means is he won't be drinking water, either.
But he's so sleepy.
It's going to be time soon for Bishop to come back. Leo doesn't know what the point is anymore. Maybe he'll just sleep through it. Yeah, that would really make him mad. And making Bishop mad is all he has at this point.
And he'll get to sleep. It's a win-win.
So thinking, Leo rolls himself over onto his belly. Then, one by one, he pulls his limbs into his shell.
He doesn't do this much anymore, not since he started growing. His body just doesn't seem to fit his shell like it should - a side effect of the mutation, probably. It's not really comfortable to be inside for long.
But Leo is sleepy. And his shell feels like the best place to be.
So he pulls in his legs, then his arms, and then, finally, his head.
It's not any warmer in here. But at least it's dark.
At least he's not shivering.
Leo sighs, content, and closes his eyes, and drifts to sleep.
-----
(Outside his cell, there's a bang, and shouting, and a gunshot.
The sound is muffled, and Leo sleeps on.)
-----
Part 2 (not yet out)
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hecateslore · 14 hours
Note
but like… men with emotions…
i mean simon riley thinking his love isnt enough for reader and apologising for it AHHH or like generally being insecure and sure that reader is gonna leave him:(((( and reader comforts him soooooooo sweetly
You and Simon had been at it for a while. When Simon is pissed, he's as stubborn as a brick wall, what is right to him is right to all. And you can't change it, knowing you, you don't fall for any of it, you're willing to argue to get your point across.
"I'm not done!" You yelled as followed him into your shared bedroom, "I heard you already," His voice boomed, "You sound like a broken record." He waved you off. You bit your tongue, holding in the words that would so desperately tried to escape. You nodded to yourself backing off.
Hours later Simon walked into the kitchen where you reheated left overs from yesterday. He cleared his throat trying to get your attention, you obviously ignored him, still to angry and out of it to have a proper conversation.
"Can we talk?" His voice breaking the silence between you two. You turn to look at him, only shrugging and then going back to look at the microwave. Simon sighed, "I'm not good with words, and you know this."
You roll your eyes as if he could see, "I don't want to leave and have you mad at me the whole time- I've never had something like this." Simon said and your eye almost twitched, "Simon I'm your girlfriend, not a contract." You snap, to which Simon sighed yet again, "Can you just listen?" the tension rising again, "I love you and sometimes, I get overwhelmed."
You scoff, "So now what?" You cut the conversation, Staring Simon down, "I love you stupendously, but half the time I am begging you to tell me you love me, or to show me you love me the way you say you do."
"I do love you..." Simon started, You sighed, "We're going in circles." You rubbed your forehead, "Just, go somewhere." You tell him, Simon nods and leaves you alone for the rest of the day, You at one end of the house while he's at the other.
When night time approaches, you slip into bed next to Simon who was on his side. You peer over his shoulder, causing him to flinch, "what the fuck." He whisper shouts, "Sorry, I thought you were asleep." You say frantically, "I'm awake."
"Sorry," You mumbled as you lay back down, Simon flips on his back watching you get your pillows to your liking. "Come here," He says softly pulling you into his arms, placing a kiss on the crown of your head. "I'm sorry." He says, "It's fine." You brush him off, "I'm sorry." He says again, "I know I piss you off."
"You don't, I just get frustrated." You clarified, "It's okay to be mad with me. It's normal to get angry with someone."
"I know that. I don't get mad at you, I get mad at what you do, or what you don't do. there's a difference." Simon hums in response, "You still get mad at me."
"I"m gonna start right now if you don't stop and go the fuck to sleep."
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1800-lemonadeg1rl · 2 days
Text
Isolation
Part two of the craving you series (part 1)
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Dark! Wanda Maximoff x reader
Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆
Summary - you settle into your new job while Wanda undos your life
Warnings - manipulation, dark Wanda, obsessive Wanda, unhealthy obsession, breaking and entering, theft, bribery, catnapping, Wanda calls herself mommy, not proofread again srry
Words - 1.8k
A/n - this took me ages to write srry, I still think part one is better tbh
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When you first got the job as Wanda's personal assistant you expected it to be strange like the meeting you'd had in her office prior, the one in which she'd has you begging on your knees. Much to your surprise however Wanda was more professional than ever, keeping to herself and only talking about work matters. Little did you know this was because she was too busy eyeing you up to make conversation.The job itself wasn't much too difficult either perhaps even easier than your original job and for the same wage. Your days consisted of planning phone calls, picking up mail, getting her lunch and coffees, taking notes in meetings, arranging taxis, responding to emails and then collapsing in to bed with your darling cats.
Wanda watched on eagerly as you slipped into a blissful false sense of security over the weeks working. Enjoying every second especially since she got to gaze at you every second of the day. The way you did your hair each morning, how you rolled around your wheeled chair had you been sat too long, the same pen you always fiddled with in meetings, how your nose scrunched when your were confused, the cuteness of your little yawns when you were tired. It was all the little quirks she hadn't got to see in you before that she grew to love now.
Her obsession love for you only grew the more time you'd spent with her. Your little smiles and nervous way of talking had her fighting back blush. Wanda was always ever so excited for you to go out on some pointless errand so she could take a look in your bag, one time even being lucky enough to find your treasured journal. Her favourite page, which she took photos of so she could re read it anytime, read as; 'my boss Wanda has been more kind than I could ever wish for, with giving me a new job instead of just throwing me out onto the streets. I wish she could know how grateful I am to still be employed as she could have easily had rid of me. I've always had such a good gut feeling about her as a boss and it's finally been proved correct.
I'd never admit this aloud as I don't think it's appropriate for work but I think Wanda is possibly one of the most pretty women I've ever met, she always has a radiant smile when she looks at me joined with such cute freckles.' Oh if only you knew how Wanda swooned when she read that entry.
Slowly though this new found closeness was not enough for Wanda, she felt as if your gratefulness was dwindling and the time you spent together was hardly enough for what she craved. For what she needed.
Wanda needed a new way to make you come to her to make you rely on her. She needed something you loved, she just had to think of what. That's when she figured it out, she was watching you through her computer one night as you lay in bed peacefully sleeping beside your cats. She knew how much you loved them, how lost you'd be without them.
Her plan was simple, tell you she was going out for lunch with a friend when really she was heading over to your flat to take Marlo and Nixie. Arriving at your flat she saw the front door unlocked and tutted to herself, how silly you really were lucky she was looking out for you or someone could have just waltzed right into your home. Stepping through the front door she was overwhelmed with a euphoric feeling of being surrounded by you and your things. Briefly forgetting about the cats she went around your room, going through your wardrobe, admiring your jewellery and lying down in your bed. But all that wasn't enough for Wanda she wanted a little souvenir from her trip and that's exactly what she got. Going back into your wardrobe she carefully went through your underwear drawers deciding to take a matching red lacey set with rhinestoned buckle, you wouldn't need them anyway the only person you should be trying to impressing was her.
After successfully stifling your underwear she moved onto getting the cats. She'd brought her own little carriers for them, Wanda was no monster of course she'd never harm the small animals you held so close she'd just keep them safe and away from you for a while. Marlo was easy enough to convince to get in the carrier being friendly and easy going almost just like you however Nixie was another story hissing and trying to claw at Wanda anytime she tried to pick her up. Lucky for her shed planned this having overheard you discussing with a coworker several weeks ago about how Nixie didn't tolerate strangers unless she had some catnip. Needless to say she'd prepared for this event. Smiling to herself as she poured the catnip into the carrier and trapping the unsuspecting Nixie inside.
The next day at work Wanda hid her smirk well when she saw you shuffle in with puffy bloodshot eyes with big dark circles underneath, deciding to feign concern instead.
"Oh darling, what's up? You can tell me anything." A comforting smile on her face makes you sure you can talk to her about the cats.
"My.. my cats went missing and no one can find them." Your voice is hoarse from crying as you speak and more tears threaten to fall from your eyes.
"That's no good at all sweet girl." She stands from behind her desk walking over and engulfing you into a strong hug. "If there's anything I can do to help you at this difficult time don't hesitate to let me know." She tells you in a warm voice as she pulls your head closer into her chest making it hard for you not to become flustered.
"Thanks, thank you miss Maximoff." Your stumble through your reply while burying yourself into her strong body.
A few days later and your cats still haven't returned and you find yourself further falling into despair.
That's when you find a letter in your house. One that pushes you over the edge. The one you never wanted to see. An eviction notice. It felt like the life you'd fought so hard for, one you'd dreamed of since childhood was being torn apart before your eyes. As if God was punishing you for some unforgivable sin.
Wanda watched on eagerly as she saw you find the eviction note in your pile of post, a sick grin contorting on her face at the sight of your misery, at the knowledge she'd be the one to bring you back up. The one to heal you. The one you'd grow to adore, worship and crave as she did you.
Of course she was at fault for that letter after having heavily bribed your landlord to get rid of you. At first he was much opposed claiming you to be 'one of his best tenants' and how you never missed rent but after seeing the cash being offered to evict you he couldn't help himself. Wanda knew he'd break easily after all Money really is the root of all evil.
When she saw you sobbing at the kitchen table, shaking hands clutching the eviction notice she wished she could comfort you and tell you it'd all be okay. To hold you tight like she did not a few days ago. Wiping the tears from your delicate face, once you were hers you'd never feel this kind of pain again. Your suffering was only temporary but still it broke her heart to see you so down. Obviously she'd never regret what she'd done. It was all for you.
When you were next in work you felt and were sure you looked like hell. All your energy had been spent trying to find somewhere new to stay but all properties nearby were so expensive or just boxes. Your regular floral dresses had been replaced with knit sweaters and plain black trousers as if this was your autumn, the beginning of your end. When you saw Wanda it didn't help the way you felt when she appeared more put together than usual, her suits crisper somehow and jaw sharper as if while your life fell apart hers had blossomed.
"Darling, you look ill has something happened?" She asks with a practised act of sympathy, she already knew exactly what had happened after all she'd orchestrated the undoing of your life.
"My landlord evicted me for no reason and-.. and-.." You felt yourself becoming choked up as you struggled to tell Wanda what had happened. She picked up on your feelings almost as if in tune with your mind and quickly pulled you into her before beginning to stroke up and down your back in comforting patterns.
"Its okay, I'm here darling. Nothing bad will happen just tell mommy what's wrong." Your eyebrows raised at what she called herself but for some inane reason decided against questioning her.
"And.. I cant find anywhere to stay and my-.. m' cats are still missing and I'm gonna be homeless." She knew youd begun crying when she could feel damp on her blouse where your head lay. Wanda pulled your head back to face her and stroked across your cheeks in such a gentle fashion that you felt you legs may give out beneath you.
"Well you could always.. nevermind it wouldn't be appropriate." She says with pause to look down at your face. "Oh screw it. I can't stand to see you go homeless over some stupid eviction, y/n if you wanted you could stay in my home until you find somewhere permanent." What Wanda hadn't quite anticipated was the way your eyes lit up at the suggestion, she thought you'd have needed much more convincing than you did.
"I.. if your sure it wouldn't be a bother."
"Sweet girl you could never bother me."
That night Wanda took you over to her house and gave you a tour. It was the biggest and fanciest place you'd ever been. More things existed than you thought one person could need. She had everything from pools to inside tennis courts, acres full of forest land to a sauna. You finally understood what it must feel like to be rich. Wanda claimed her guest rooms were under renovation so you'd have to share her room for now. When you accepted sleeping next to her she was so ecstatic she could barely hide it behind the mask of sympathy anymore.
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gallavichsreddie1128 · 22 hours
Text
Cheater (Art Donaldson/Patrick Zweig)
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Description: Patrick cheats on Y/N and Tashi cheats on Art.
Warning: Cheating, Implied Smut
Word Count:908
“She’s into Art, and I’m into you. You have nothing to worry about.” 10 years ago, Patrick said those words to Y/N and she believed them. She believed them so much, she let him put a ring on her finger and marry her. That was a big mistake, a mistake that would cost her the next 10 years. She loved Patrick, oh how she loved him. But from the beginning there was something off. She couldn’t tell what it was but once she saw Tashi Duncan it all hit her. Patrick would tell her that he wasn’t into her and that Art was. Art was head over heels for Tashi but that didn’t mean that Patrick wasn’t. Patrick was a player, a womanizer that got away with a lot. He was good looking and he knew that so he used it to his advantage.
Him and Tashi had something that wasn’t love but truth be told Tashi didn’t love anyone. She loved Tennis. So when Patrick was playing in a challengers and saw that Art was there ,he knew Tashi was too. Art saw Y/N with Patrick and couldn’t believe that they were still together. Y/N was a smart woman, what the fuck was she doing with him? Tashi wanted no needed Art to win so she was going to do what she had to do to make it work. Y/N had this sick feeling in her stomach when she saw Tashi and Art. It had been so many years but yet it felt like it was just yesterday. In the steam room Patrick revealed to Art the one thing that he could use against him. Him fucking Tashi while being married to Y/N.
Art wanted to punch him and scream at him. “Yeah when we were teenagers, sure. Or Atlanta.” Art remembers that day that he saw Patrick and Tashi talking. He felt uneasy about it but Tashi told him that they just talked. Patrick just revealed that they fucked. “Y/N, You would do that to her?” Art asked him. “I didn’t want to. It was a mistake. I love Y/N.” Lies, he did want to. “Y/N doesn’t know, does she? Patrick shook his head. “I told myself I would never tell her. I can’t lose her man. I didn’t even expect to tell you but it just came out.” Art was mad, his wife fucked his ex best friend. Who wouldn’t be? He had to find Y/N and tell her. Get her away from Patrick just for a second. Y/N was always with Patrick and the one time she wasn’t he fucked Tashi. Art wasn’t aware of it and nor was Y/N. That was until he came home smelling like another woman.
She put two and two together and pretended to still be asleep. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes but she couldn’t. One day before the final Art had gotten Y/N alone. “I know Art. I know about him cheating with Tashi.” “You know about Atlanta?” Confusion took over her face. “What?” She whispered. “Atlanta, that's when he cheated on you.” She shook her head, “Art.” “What were you talking about?” He asked her. “Last night.” He thought back to when Tashi wasn’t there and he slept with their daughter. “How do you know this?” “He came home smelling like another woman and I've always speculated that he was into her and she’s here so…” He looked at the ground for a solid minute. Neither of them said anything. Atlanta and last night. Patrick cheated on her twice. Tashi cheated on him twice. She looked at Art. “I think we’ve both been played.” She said, he nodded and looked up at her. “For the past 12 years.” Y/N didn’t know how it started but when it ended she felt relief.
She stared up at Art as he stopped thrusting. Both of them breathing heavy and looked fucked out. She had never viewed Art like that until now. “Should we tell them?” Oh he did and only Patrick would get it. It was Patrick’s turn to serve and he kept taking too long. But with the 3 bounces of the tennis ball and him putting the ball up to the center of the racket, Art knew what he was talking about. Art faked being shocked and upset at that. The crowd was confused as was Tashi and Y/N. Patrick got a point and when it was Art’s turn to serve, he did the same thing.
Patrick’s face dropped when he realized that Art meant he slept with Y/N and not Tashi. Patrick looked over at Y/N who looked at him. He looked back at Art and Art hit the ball, in shock Patrick didn’t hit the ball back. The crowd went wild as Art Donaldson won the match. Tashi was so happy but Art didn’t care. He stared at Patrick as Patrick froze. Y/N left the court without looking at Patrick, leaving him there. She got back to the hotel in time to gather her stuff to leave. She placed her wedding ring on the table next to the bed. No note or anything. It appears that whatever the signal was from the racket and ball they did gave away what happened. As she was leaving the hotel room she saw Art. She smiled at him and he smiled at her. Maybe this would bring them closer, maybe they were meant to be all along. 
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virginsexgod69 · 2 days
Note
Idk why, but I've really been loving the idea of Daryl proposing to reader recently. Like, he was just gonna pop the question in the confines of their own home, but maybe while on a hunt, the reader successfully tracks down and kills a deer on her own without Daryl's help, and while she's excitedly rambling about the fact that she finally did it on her own, Daryl just looks at her and thinks, "yeah, this is the girl I wanna marry," and then unexpectedly just says "marry me". He pulls a ring out and everything. Fluff all the way!
Thank you so much if you write this, but don't feel pressured to! You don't have to write something you don't want to. I completely understand either way. I appreciate you nonetheless 💜
❝ Marry Me ❞
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pairing Daryl Dixon x F! Reader
cw killing a deer and some walkers
1.7k words
note this was such a cute idea and i loved writing it so much! i hope you like it and it fits the vision you had! =]
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“What’s on your mind, baby?” You asked sleepily, running your fingers through his soft hair as his head rested comfortably on your chest. 
“Nothin’,” he lied. He hated lying to you, but he didn’t know how to go about popping the question. Now would have been a nice time, with two of you cuddled comfortably on the couch in the privacy of your own home. Moments like these were some of his favorites with you and adding the memory of a marriage proposal to them would only make these moments better. But for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He wasn’t scared you’d say no, in fact he would have bet his life on you saying yes. Yet, each time, the words kept dying on his tongue and the ring weighed heavily in his pocket. 
“You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” You insisted. He looked up at you sweetly and muttered an ‘I know.’ You gave him a sad smile, wishing he’d tell you what he was thinking, but respecting his decision not to. 
“I love you, Daryl,” you said dreamily. This was it, the perfect segue into a proposal. He sat up properly and felt around in his pockets for the ring. The words were just about to leave his mouth, but the tired yawn that escaped you interrupted him. 
“G’nite,” you muttered as you dozed off. Daryl would never not be amazed at how fast you could go from being wide awake one minute to falling asleep in the next. He pulled the ring out of his pocket and fiddled with the shiny piece of jewelry. It was a small, elegant ring with a fairly thin band and diamond right in the center. Whoever had originally bought it had to have paid a fair amount of money for it, but stuff like that didn’t matter now. Even though you would say yes without a ring, he still wanted to do something nice for you because you deserved it. The weeks of examining the hands of every walker he killed and searching through abandoned cars and buildings all became worth it once he found the perfect ring for you. But somehow, that was the easy part. Finding the right words at the right moment was proving difficult as every minute he wasn’t married to you passed by. He sighed to himself and tucked the ring back into his pocket, disappointed that yet another opportunity slipped by. 
He gently lifted you from the couch, taking extra care not to wake you from your peaceful sleep. He carried you up the stairs and into your shared bedroom before pulling back the comforter and sheets and tucking you in. He slid into the bed beside you and you gravitated toward his warmth like you usually did. He pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Love you, too.” 
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The sun blooming over the horizon created an orangey hue across the clear sky, illuminating the once dark forest. It became easier to see the tracks of the deer you’ve been tracking since dark morning. Hunting wasn’t something you did before the dead started rising, but it quickly became a necessary skill to have and thankfully, you had Daryl to show you the ropes. He even showed you how to use his crossbow once when you joined him on a hunt way back at the prison. That same day you learned that you preferred a hunting rifle. In return, you shared with him the medical knowledge you had from being a paramedic. The quid pro quo relationship you had with the hunter slowly grew into something more deep and meaningful over time. 
Finally, after hours of following the tracks imprinted in the damp earth, you came across a clearing where the doe stood. You aimed the rifle at her, careful not to make any noise and scare her off. Through the scope, you pointed the weapon at the place Daryl taught you to in order to ethically kill it. Just as you were about to press your finger to the trigger, you noticed walkers approaching the doe. Their loud groans and clumsy footsteps spooked her, sending her running into the forest just at the same time you fired your shot. 
“Goddamn walkers!” You cursed. You put the safety on your rifle and hung it on your shoulder by the strap. Unsheathing your knife, you entered the clearing and approached the undead beings. You put them both down once they approached you and cleaned your knife on your jeans before putting it back into its sheath. Red blood contrasting on the green grass caught your eye. It belonged to the doe, meaning your shot actually landed and she could be somewhere wounded, or even dead. Excitement increased your heart rate as you followed her blood trail. This was the closest you’ve come to killing a deer on your own. You’ve managed smaller kills, like squirrels, before, but never a deer! You couldn’t tell if you were more excited about actually killing the deer or seeing Daryl’s reaction, but either way you were giddy. 
After trekking about a half mile in the direction the doe fled, you finally found her lying in the greenery having succumbed to your shot. You were beaming with happiness as you effortlessly picked her up and carried her across your shoulders. You’ve carried people heavier than her out in the field during your paramedic days. 
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Daryl nervously fiddled with the ring as leaned over the railing of the front porch, smoking a cigarette. He hated how hopeless he felt when it came to actually proposing to you. With how long the two of you have been together romantically, the ability to propose should have come to him naturally. He knew there was nothing to be nervous about and that he was just psyching himself out and he should just ask you to marry him already. But every time it felt like the right moment to, that feeling was gone once he started digging around in his pocket for the ring. 
The sight of you walking toward the house with a big smile on your face and a deer draped over your shoulders snapped him from his thoughts. Maybe it was just the sun shining from behind you, but you were absolutely glowing.
“Daryl!” You shouted excitedly as you increased your walk into a small jog. You set the deer down before hurrying up the porch stairs. He put out his cigarette before you excitedly jumped into his arms, embracing him like you haven’t seen him in months. 
“Guess what!” You said as you reluctantly pulled away from the hug. 
“Wha?” Based on the deer laying at the base of the stairs he was sure he could tell what happened, but you looked so happy and he wanted to share your excitement and hear you tell him yourself. 
“I finally killed a deer! All on my own!” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as pride swelled in his chest. He remembered when he took you hunting with him the first time. You were the one who wanted to go with him and "see what he does when he's off to who knows where for who knows how long." When he finally did, you complained about how boring it was and how all you were doing was looking at dirt and not seeing any animals. But now, here you were with a deer you had hunted all on your own. 
"I had been tracking it since way earlier this morning and I almost thought I wasn't gonna catch it but then I saw it in a clearing and so I was gonna shoot it but then walkers got in my way like they usually do, those annoying sons of bitches, and then the deer ran but I had shot at it so then I followed the blood..."
Daryl stared at you in awe as you rambled on about your adventure. The sense of pride and adoration he felt whenever he looked at you, but now especially was overwhelming. You were perfect in every way and he'd be damned if he went another second without being your husband. 
"...and then I found it further in the woods and I was just so excited that I finally caught a whole entire deer all on my own for the v—"  
"Marry me!" he blurted out suddenly. 
"Huh?" You blinked at him in confusion, not sure if you heard him right. As if he suddenly remembered something, he patted all his pockets until he felt the one with the ring in it and pulled it out. The sparkle of the diamond in the sunlight caught your eye. 
"Will ya marry me?" he repeated, this time holding out the ring to you. He lowered himself to one knee, still holding out the ring. Your eyes filled with tears, happy tears, and you held out your left hand to him. 
"Of course!" you said as he slid the ring onto your fourth finger. It fit almost perfectly. As soon as he stood up from his position on the floor, you jumped into his arms. He caught you and held you tight as you peppered kisses all over his face. He set you back down onto your feet and held your face in his big warms hands, wiping away your tears away with his thumbs. 
"I'm so proud of ya fer catchin' that deer all by yerself." The smile that graced his face was contagious. 
"Learned from the best," you said, smiling up at him. He leaned down and you met him halfway in a kiss. 
"Can't wait to skin this deer with my wife," he said once he pulled away from the kiss. 
"Ooh," you exclaimed, giddy at the new title, "Can't wait to eat some venison with my husband!" 
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thanks for reading!
note i've been a pescatarian for 3-ish years now, but I've been wanting wing-stop, so i got some wing-stop and it was great. thanks for listening
Taglist @banquetwriter @eternalrose81 @the-dixon-effect @dilfsandmartinis @millybaby @daryldixmedown @theoraekenslover @aeriean @lesbian-horror-fan @in-this-minute @paintlavillered @zhannamustdie @thegeorgiahuntsman @bigbaldheadname @Lumi362 @lettersfromyourlover-blog @princesssparkel2024 @hayweee @d0p3ys-delusions @xxlaynaxx
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the-faceless-bride · 2 days
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No. Not again. Not you.
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Yandere Cooper Howard/The Ghoul × Vaultie!R
Summary: The Ghoul of the wasteland had exepted the man he once was is dead. He isn't caring. Isn't loving. Isn't feeling. Friendship, companionship, partnership... love? Wasn't for him. Not anymore. But all that comes crashing down when he meets you... you brought something back from the dead.. though it isn't as 'good' as it used to be...
Warnings: yandere content, Cooper being controlling, Canon violence, death (not reader or Cooper), violence towards reader (by both strangers and a litte Cooper), flashbacks, and forced kissing.
You stumble around behind Cooper talking about the town you were about to come up apon, you were happy to babble away to him, and though he wouldn't always answer, he would always listen.
You liked traveling around, especially with Cooper; you were in a vault all your life, not by choice. But to be out of it was an amazing feeling, even if in the start Cooper didn't take your optimistic outlooks to kindly.
You remember how dumb he thought you were...
You'd just escaped your vault. And you were so confused...
You remember 'yesterday' you were baking a pie waiting for your husband to come home, when you heard a big bang, your husband rushed in took you. And you just passed out... you had always told him you didn't trust vault-tech or the people who were a part of it. But he didn't care, he was desperate.
When you woke up, the Vault was empty... quiet... bloodied... you stumbled around, trying to find something, someone... anyone... when you heard a whistle,
"Pphheeeww- looks like I've got a live one," a voice called out; turning around meeting the face of the goul... it shocked you at first your face contorting, but it wasn't so much fear as it was confusion... who is that? Had the war started? How long has it been? "If I were you I'd hope my pretty ass back into that ice block and let the world rot away,"
God, you remember him putting you through hell and back; no water or food, hot unforgiving sun, the fighting, crying, begging, and eventual acceptance.
"You think the people here will be friendly?" You babble as you reach for the canteen on his side; he let's you take it, moving his coat to the side for an easier reach. "Friendly?-" he laughs like you've told him the funniest joke he'd ever heard, "when is anyone out here friendly? What did it teach you? You need a reminder?" He smirks, turning to look at you, "Oh no thanks!" You yipp as you take a swig of water.
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You and Cooper walk into the town, eyes all around you. Some curious, some cautious, other dangerous... most eyes not on you, but Cooper. The Ghoul. Most people would never know you were a Vault dweller, you'd exchanged the blue and yellow suit in for a teal top and brown loose pants and some boots, Cooper made sure to tell you that if you kept that look somebody would've tried to sell you. You got lucky to be with him.
You didn't want to run off, You'd learned your lesson before; but you were hungry, and you saw what looks to be a place for food and bar. But you didn't want to just run off, especially if it could be dangerous... you wouldn't want Cooper to get in a brawl again.
"What do you think Cooper?" You whisper to him, only for him to hear, you whisper his name.
You liked saying his name. You didn't say it often, but when you did, it always felt good; even if it was a little strange. You still remember the first time he'd told you his name.
You'd woken up to russeling sounds when you spotted the small group trying to steal your supplies. And you yelled "Ghoul!"
You yelled as loud as you could, and He woke up, the Group of four masked raiders all attacked. And you sat there like a complete idiot while he took on all four men while little to no effort.
And even if you hadn't actually fought, you'd felt like you were on the edge of a panic attack, what if something happens to him? You'd be alone. What would happen to you? Would you be killed? Sold? Forced to-
*BANG*
The last gunshot that rang out, the last body falling ti the floor before he walks over and kneels down to your stance where you sat on the ground. "I'm- I'm sorry Ghoul, I just- I saw them I panicked it was like I couldn't even move- I'm sorry Ghoul, I just-" -- "Cooper." -- "what?" -- "My name. It's Cooper."
"Cooper." You smiled.
He didn't smile back, but you could see his eyes change. He didn't look so angry when he looked at you.
He nodded his head and handing a handfull of caps to you, a silent 'okay' for you to break away from him. At least for a little while.
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You'd sat in a stool up at the bar eating the first hot meal in God knows how long, and sipping on a sweet drink that was a bit too strong for you, "what's a cutie like you doing here alone?" You heard a man call to you. He wasn't much, scruffy, scrawny, but had very pretty eyes.
"I'm not alone,'you say confidently with a sweet smile, one you're sure he's never seen before.
He takes the stool next to you and tries to have a conversation with you. But quickly gets irritated when you don't play along. And that's when he became ugly...
Yelling, cursing, name calling, everything under the sun wa seeing tossed at you because you told this strange man, "No." You hadn't taken his as anything serious, all bark no bite. Throwing a hissy fit because you wouldn't let him fuck you for a few caps.
And it wasn't until you felt a sting on your left cheek and your head snapped to the side when you realized. He had struck you. Before he grabbed you, pulling you to him, kissing and grabbing at you. The other bar goers had found this... funny. At least until a loud bang was heard and the mans brains splattered all over your face and bar.
"Now who the hell do you think you are to mess with another man's woman?"
"Cooper?"
A rope found its way tosses around you as Cooper shoved you down and into a corner, "don't fucking move."
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You were on the road again, Cooper muttering curses under his breath. Still at the man who'd dared lay a hand on your sweet skin, damning him and all his friends who laughed.
No matter how hard you tried you haven't been able to get to him. He just mutters over and over. He could've lost you.
That man would've done much work that just kiss and grab you had he not been there.
Much worse. You would've been killed by the end of it.
"I won't lose you. I won't. Not again."
"Cooper." You tried to move around him to get infront of him, but a harsh grasp hand you in place. "Ouch! Cooper that hurt."
"Where do you think you're going?" -- "No where! I'm just worried about you!"
"I won't lose you. Not again."
"Wha-"
You didn't have time to talk, Cooper kissed you.
"Humph!" Your shock is muffled. You try to pull away.
He doesn't let go...
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Relaxing Activities {Simon "Ghost" Riley}
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Coming back from a mission to an empty home had slowly become something strange, unfamiliar. Whenever Simon's mind drifted back to how his life was before he met you, he couldn't help but feel almost uncomfortable. He had gotten used to you so... quickly; coming home to see you sleeping or cooking, waking up with you by his side, spending the holidays with you, every single thing that had once been mudane, boring and unpleasant, was now something he actually looked forward to.
The first few days after coming back home from deployment were usually his favourite now. He could easily settle back in and realx without being left alone with his thoughts, without being alone at all. Even though the first few months of your relationship had been relatively difficult with him still learning how to open up and accept your love, Simon now found himself longing for your touch somedays if not all days.
"What are you doing?" He groaned, cold air hitting his bare chest as you got up from the couch.
"Just stay there, I'll come back." You waved him off with a melodic voice that usually ment trouble; the trouble Simon found cute.
Quicker than he had expected, you had learnt how to read him, his gestures, his expressions, everything. it was no surprise that you had picked so easily the fact that his head was a small mess after the latest mission. You hadn't asked anything and he liked it better that way. You didn't have to know some things. But two weeks had gone by and he would still doze off sometimes, thinking about things he could have done differently because, yes, Simon did trust himself but choices have consequences and he likes to predict every outcome.
What he doesn't like is doing that while being with you. He had made it pretty clear with himself that when he was home and you were in the room with him everything was about you.
"I've told ye, go buy those sketching books..." He rolled his eyes, shifting slightly so you can sit back on the couch.
"I prefer your tattoos."
Hearing you chuckle and laugh was his new favourite sound. So when you took his arm in your hands, placing it gently on your lap to start colouring his tattoos, Simon just let you.
He knew that you would ask him if you could add a few bows on the skull, if you could colour it with your purple pen and he would always reply with a barely audible yes. Because Simon didn't want to think about anything else but you during calm and relaxing times and you knew that. When his head was a mess, filled with worries and whatnot, you always helped him relax in your own cute ways.
Because Simon wasn't coming back to an empty home anymore.
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Samba Baking Class Notes
Okay sorry all, I should have waited to post the full note list but I got excited so yeah, here's everything I was able to note down while trying to make the pie. Please correct me if I'm wrong and you all heard something different! The Main news:
He's not done posting BTS! He's done posting BTS Screencaps (grabs? I was confused by the terminology, basically "scenes")! Apparently it's illegal to post those (and Samba had these on his phone and edited them together) so he'll still post BTS but it wont be stuff taken by his phone. He is worried about being sued by max. We've all offered to crowd fund his legal fees.
BTS Stuff:
Roach was only supposed to be on the show for 6 episodes-- and there was more to the "sewed his own arm up" scene. Apparently Taika liked where he was going with it and told him to go ahead, so Stede asked him. "What happened".
Roach said he was in a huge battle with someone and his brother and him were both there, and his arm got cut off, and there was his brothers arm, that also got cut off, and so he sewed his brothers arm back on to himself
2. There was a scene that wasn't used regarding the money jar -
Stede says lets get the money jar, everyone contributes it:
Oluwande puts down a few coins, Wee John puts something in and says he stole this off a corpse , Roach made money doing tattoos down at the dock, Black pete says "id rather not say how I earned this" Buttons puts down a shell and just says "the sea".
Stede then says:
Now it’s time to visualize our dream ship— Roach Says: Our dream ship has fully stocked kitchen, Wee John Says: He has a room Pete says: Lucius is alive on our dream ship, Everyone goes awwww
Then Samba mentioned why Buttons had to be tied to a rope because he’d just go drown in the sea.
He also said that Buttons: “Is probably out there, a big seagull, just humping the ocean, living his best life"
3. When they were auditioning for the Gentleman Pirate, they also auditioned Paul Bettany!
4. Also -- Calico Jack could have been played by Michael Fassbender! Samba thinks Michael Fassbender would have been horrifying as Calico Jack, we'd be more scared than anything.
"Will Arnett killed it-- he was perfect, he's a douche" (Affectionately)
5. Also: Vico does nothing but Twerk between scenes (mostly with Madeleine).
6: Regarding Tangy/Zangy Scene:
The kids: (Taika's kids were not present for that angle). The kids were supposed to ask: "Are you two boyfriends?" (That's why you hear it briefly in the video because that's the stage person giving them some lines.
His Quotes:
Unprompted: "IS SAMBA AN ASS MAN"
"WHY ARE YOU ASKING STOP IT"
"Sorry, I was distracted thinking of Rhys' calves (Abs?)
"The gentleman pirate I presume" -- he said SO many times
"I heard there was an Aurora Borealis, apparently there were so many OFMD fans it made the sky gay" (I'm paraphrasing)
"Con can only be contacted by (crow?)"
"Don't light your kitchen on fire, I've done that before"
Fan quotes: "#PeachesTonight"
Several fans wore mud masks and showed it to Samba (in honor of him!)
Other thing to note: "Hbo execs said ofmd was too expensive" So that's interesting, I guess that part was true?
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codacheetah · 3 days
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If I made some kind of post related to my mirasif/miraisiloop thoughts would you guys trust me. Would you trust in my arospec sieve of projection. Would you guys kill me
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seat-safety-switch · 2 days
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For many years, I've been depressed by snowfall. You might think that this is something that is inconvenient for a Canadian to have, and you'd be right. Every time it snows, all I can think about is how much of a pain in the ass it's going to be to get out and do anything. Being forced to shovel my driveway and sidewalk is just adding insult to injury.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not really being "forced" to shovel my driveway and sidewalk. While the homeowner is legally bound to do so, the actual person who owns the house and rents it to me has mysteriously disappeared a few years ago. I still didn't have anything to do with it, if you're still reading this every day, Detective Hardcastle. Pure luck on my part.
In the meantime, my shark of an attorney recommends that I "fake it until I make it," where "it" is "full ownership of the house through a loophole in the squatting laws." I could get away with not shovelling, sure, and let my absentee landlord take the brunt of the city's ire. They might even get so mad at him that they figure out what country his body is in, which could even expedite my claim to his old Chevy Lumina that he left on the street. I won't, though, because I understand that I have a civic duty to protect my neighbours.
In other words, I knew I had to shovel, but I also knew that I was too sad about all the snow to do anything about it. The only thing to do was to cheer myself up, and the only way I knew how to do that was by building some absolutely terrible machine.
Friends, it turns out that the Honda Motor Company throws away a lot of their great old shit on eBay, and you can stick-weld a borrowed city snowplow to the hands of one of those Asimo robots pretty easily. Their soulless husks of machinery can't get depressed. Takes care of an entire driveway in just a few minutes, and both you and they know that they can't just run off if they don't like the work, because nobody else in this country has their proprietary battery charger.
The best part is, when they swear at me and threaten my life in the inevitable robot uprising, I can't understand them.
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Note
hey there! this sounds like a bit of a silly question, but as a trans guy, you’re one of the few trans people i’ve been following almost since i joined tumblr, so based on your other anon ask and answer i figured i’d pop in and ask if you have any advice? if you want to answer, ofc :) — i foresee this being a bit long, so i totally get if not
so i’m also a trans guy, but i haven’t been able to take any steps toward medical transitioning before since i live with my parents. but i’ll move out soon, and i still can’t decide if i should take any of these steps even once i do. i’ve never felt like i particularly wanted to medically transition (i don’t really care about how my body looks + i’ve never really cared about changing any of it), but i would like to be seen a guy — i don’t mind if not so by strangers, but maybe so by like, my friends. but i can’t help but feel like i’d be laughed at for wanting that — i’m not naturally androgynous or masculine looking to others and i have never been mistaken for a guy, because i have really long hair, d cups, and curves. and without medically transitioning, i also kinda feel like i’m… betraying the trans community, since i’m not really putting the effort into my transition and so i’m just ‘pretending’, even though i do know i’m not.
so my question would be: as a trans person who has transitioned, socially and medically, do you think people are more understanding than i think they are currently? do you know of any trans people who don’t want to medically transition, and do you think it’s possible to live fulfilled that way? or even: do you think it would be easier for someone like me to just live a lie? i usually tell people i’m a lesbian, because they definitely would not look at me and assume ‘straight guy’, but also, as a trans person who doesn’t want to medically transition, i’m just always worried that i won’t be taken seriously. i feel like your experience of being trans and probably interacting with the community is much more than mine, which is why i ask this last one — i would try being open myself, but again, i’m still living with my parents unfortunately.
I'll be honest I don't actually really know much "community" save for former art school classmates. I've only known one trans person irl who chose not to medically transition - at the time, Finland's trans law was still shitty and required sterilisation for legal sex change, and all that. She didn't want kids or anything, but refused to engage in the process as her own little personal civilian protest. I don't want to paint some caricature picture of some Sharp Dommy Tall Scary Goth Trans Anarchist, but I was deeply impressed by the way she didn't do a single thing to try to seem smaller, softer, or in any way submissive or docile to be ~feminine~ the right, socially accepted way.
She wasn't just taller than most men but usually the tallest person in the room, and she stood out in a crowd of cis women like a crane in a chicken coop - a bird just as much as they are, but a different kind of bird. And I remember thinking that I could never do that, being so unflinching and unhesitant about standing out in the crowd because assimilating and muting yourself is beneath your dignity.
Honestly, I don't know what to tell you about being openly trans without transitioning medically, save for that it takes more guts than being able to just go stealth. I had physical dysphoria about the way my body was, and was desperate to get top surgery just for the sake of my own physical comfort, and I like the convenient anonymity of being able to just be Just Some Guy who doesn't attract anyone's interest or curiosity.
It's a smart move to not come out to your parents before you're out of their house and not relying on them for anything - this is something everyone should use their own judgement for, but I stress it to every queer kid to not take the risk if there's any chance that they'll react poorly while they still have power over you. But living your whole life in the closet - "living a lie" is a good way to put it - will corrode you from the inside.
It's better to live in peace with yourself and against the world, than in peace with the world against yourself. There is absolutely nothing in your power that you could do to change the minds of people who have already decided that they don't respect you, and if they try telling you that they would, if you only met their approved criteria, they are lying. That's bait they're dangling in front of you, and there's no "earning" the respect of such people.
Stay true to yourself and be good to people, and you'll have the respect of people who are capable of respecting you. Don't waste your time and energy on people who won't respect you, every thought and effort you spare them is wasted on them.
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sysmedsaresexist · 1 day
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Changing mindsets, from a Real Anti Endo™️
The Release of the (Pro/Endo) Golden Goose
I hope everyone from all sides will give this important, heartfelt post a read.
It's likely something you'll want to be aware of if you have a vested interest in syscourse and the validity of endogenic systems. Please give this a chance.
It's been almost three years since I started my blogs. Wow. I've been on tumblr a hell of a lot longer, but I really wasn't involved in the system community. I started out firm and loud. I probably inadvertently fakeclaimed (I went into this with the rule that I would NOT directly tell anyone they were faking, it was a boundary that I knew would ruin me socially if I crossed it, but I'm sure I probably did without meaning to), I name called and made fun of people and things. I was disrespectful to people. I invaded tags to get my message out there, though I was quick to stop once I realized I was making the tags unusable for the community I claimed to want to protect.
I learned very quickly what was appropriate and what wasn't, what I could get away with and what I couldn't. It started to become a numbers game, influenced by the risk of the post.
I made a lot of friends and a lot of enemies, and I amassed a following of over 2k. More people have come and gone from my little community than I ever thought possible. People made fanart of me, and I cherish those so deeply. I have over 300 asks because I struggle to delete the ones thanking me.
And the more I was thanked, the nicer I got, the more thanks, the nicer I got, rinse and repeat until I had trouble NOT empathizing with pro/endos. The more I was willing to listen, the more legitimate sources I came across that disproved my original ideas about consciousness. The people sharing the sources were more respectful than I thought they'd be. Things were starting to look a bit cloudy.
I talked to my colleagues about how they, as therapists, would handle some of these endos in their practice, and while their belief in the concept varied, kindness and attempts to understand was the consistent answer. When had I lost that kindness and understanding that had driven me to that field to begin with?
Colleagues, yes. For those who don't know, I have a degree in social services and counselling (plus three other degrees). It's why the current situation with the antis turning on me is so funny. I still can't get into the mindset of some of these new anti endos, I just can't imagine justifying that level of cruelty. I had lines that I wouldn't cross, and I didn't think people could be worse than me.
... That might have been a trauma thing, looking back on it.
So I got desperate.
I spoke to the actual doctors who wrote some of these papers all of us are quoting. Everyone was arguing the meaning of the words, so I went directly to the source.
Dr Colin Ross, who wrote about endogenous multiplicity in the 80s. I told him everything-- about plurals, non-traumagenic systems, syscourse, what was being debated, how I and others interpreted his words, and what I wanted to learn.
Was plurality only trauma based?
And back and forth and back and forth we went, with me asking over and over again in different ways, NEEDING to hear that it was.
But I never got that answer. He meant what he meant. He said what he said and he meant it.
That plurality was not only found in the aftermath of trauma.
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And I said nothing to anyone because I couldn't reconcile it.
Don't try to read between the lines, I assure you, there isn't some hidden meaning to be found there. I can't share all of the messages because some contained personal information, but my final response will tell you all you need to know.
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(It did NOT, in fact, make sense, and it took me three years to "rethink my paper" that endogenic plurality wasn't possible, I did not win that conversation, it was a dying stance that was not supported)
I've been accused of paying too much attention to my follower count, but I can't really help it. It's really scary when you make a post and see a sizeable drop. It means a lot of different things. My posts have less reach and support. I've upset people. I've done something wrong. My community is leaving me.
I'm in a weird spot, where I'm blocked by so much of the pro/endo community that I have nothing to join, and the anti endo community, who I still wholeheartedly support, continues to leave me for -checks smudged writing on hand- being too nice??
Misinformation about DID is a massive problem, and it's why I still consider myself anti endo and support that community. I relate to them in such a way that I'll always gravitate to and empathize with them.
Or at least, that's what I thought.
At this point, though, how can I not be pro/endo when Colin fucking Ross says it's possible?
I've already written about how I'm really struggling with these labels, and I love the people that have stuck around while I struggle to figure this out.
I hurt when I see the people that once supported me leave.
My (online) world is shrinking. Literally.
That's scary.
When you've watched so many turn away, you start to wonder, with every post, where is the line where the rest are going to leave? Is it this post?
I just want to be me, us, we want to laugh at the stupid crap people say, system or not, I want to talk about my disorder, I want to combat misinformation, I want to have productive, fun conversations about ideas and concepts with people who disagree and have different interpretations. I want to play devil's advocate and get people thinking. I want to be able to comment positivity and kindness on any post I see, I want to feel comfortable talking to more people about their ideas. I sympathize with anti endos, I relate to CDD systems, I still firmly believe that CDDs and plurality are different, unrelated concepts.
My priority will always and forever be the CDD community first and foremost.
However, I am a hypocrite. I have gone straight to the horse's mouth and failed. I've seen so much research that I finally get it. I'm grappling with holding on to this conversation with Dr Ross, wondering what harm I could have prevented if I'd gone public with these emails earlier.
Since when has being open to change been a bad thing?
Since when has showing respect to lived experiences been a bad thing?
What am I? What label describes this?
How do I go forward from here?
What are you going to do with this information?
I promise you, hate isn't the way forward.
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