Tumgik
#I've been listening to them while I write and every now and then I just turn to my record player like 😐 when it plays Fall for Me ->
melit0n · 16 days
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GUESS WHAT CAME TODAYYYYY!!!
Ugh I'm absolutely in love with this (and the album art book!!). I originally wanted to try and get a blue viynl, but I got impatient with HMV literally never restocking and Amazon selling out before I even know they're back on sale.
Did I maybe pay a little bit too much and indulge myself? Yes. But is it now among one of my favourite vinyl?? Definitely! Vessel's voice works so well on vinyl as well.
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sonego · 5 months
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gonna get personal in the tags sorryyyyy
shit i ran out of tags to use GKBKGKDKKDBJDMBMN ok rest under a read more 😭
so okay basically my doctor said sure i'll write you the prescription and also wait should i add it to your regularly taken meds page (so i can request it with a click when i run out)? and i was like yeah that'd be nice and i tried to explain that i thought i would only need for a short period of time but i still need it after many months so... but like he didn't care about the why lol
and anyway now that this has happened i'm like. gonna try to Stop doing what i was doing. there is no good reason to be in pain all the time and make my life harder when taking that dose of my med was working okay and making things considerably better. i don't need to punish myself. this is like so so so hard for me to internalize. being disabled is not a fault. even if it might be my "fault", even if i lowkey feel like i might have contributed to the condition i am in with like, bad choices or whatever, it's still not right to punish myself for it. i'm already unwell, i'm already suffering, what's making it worse gonna do to help? why do i need to feel worse just so i can think i got what i deserve for being in pain in the first place?
so yeah. going back to the higher dose. i hope that makes me feel less pain. i hope i can work without hating every second of it again. i do still hope one day i can get better and not need this med anymore, it's not like i've given up on that bc tbh a lot's still unclear and i will try and see if i can find answers. but in the meantime, no more punishing myself. i need to be okay. i want to be okay.
#called my doctor the other day#bc i needed the prescription for the muscle relaxant i take for my back pain#and i've been needing it for like a while but i kept putting off calling him to get it#there's a few reasons for that one of which is that i hate phone calls in general but especially w doctors#just makes me v v anxious#which is related to another reason which is that i was so scared he'd tell me no bc this was was supposed to be a temporary “fix”#like a little help while i actually got better#which clearly hasn't happened so i still need it but like. i am so used to doctors trying to like decide what i need#not based on my symptoms and needs and what i tell them but just what they think i SHOULD need#bc i SHOULDN'T feel pain i SHOULDN'T need to take that i should just idk excercise and lose weight and try not to be s*icidal and try to#control my moods and oh i shouldn't have headaches almost daily cause they found no medical reason for it#also have i tried sleeping more? have i tried not having insomnia? have i tried smaller doses of x med?#etc etc it's never what i AM experiencing it's what i SHOULD be experiencing. and let me tell you that sucks so bad#my previous gp ruined me so bad and i'm only now realizing it#like every time i need to tell or ask my current gp something i get so anxious bc i'm convinced he'll put up a fight and say no without#listening or he'll write me the wrong prescription or he won't even answer my calls ...........#instead this gp is the opposite#maybe even like. too easily says yes lmao 😭 like i try to talk things thru w him a bit to explain why i need x and he'll just be like#yeah sure here it is and sometimes i feel he's not even listening đŸ§đŸ»#but anyway like. i was kinda punishing myself i think?#i keep trying to lower my dose of muscle relaxant bc i think i shouldn't need it#and i don't want to need it i actually HATE that i need it. it makes me so mad w myself#so i keep trying even if every time i take less i am in so much pain#and these past couple of weeks? or something i did that even more bc i tried to lower it EVEN MORE#even if the 5th attempt to lower it a bit was unsuccessful and i was doing so badly#bc i was running out and i was killing two birds with one stone by trying to lower it so i would be a Better Stronger Nico#and was delaying having to call my doctor#end result: i wanna cry every time i stop (workiny#working* or studying or giffing or doing Whatever)#bc i'm forced to think of the fact i am in pain
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running-in-the-dark · 2 years
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so since I've been spending a lot of time with/near my mother lately, I've noticed that I have to repress all negative emotions when I'm around her (for lots of different reasons), and it's.. exhausting. I don't know how I ever lived like that.
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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hdflkjasdklf i'm just thinking of certain characters n stories hehe
#🌙.rambles#no bcs why out of all gbf characters it is Belial that is on my mind lately.. 💀 he's so sus but there's smth sad abt him to me that i think#uh. makes me. feel drawn. SOMEHOW. charas in general that like i don't like them just bcs they're sad. i just Like them n later realize how#similar i am in a way n huh. maybe part of me. perhaps not really relate but i think i understand ^ him with lucilius. but. nyways#sometimes i find myself having ideas from time to time for. scenarios n stories n maybe not super concrete? even just the idea or the#emotion & sentiment of it. even if it's a mess bcs i just dump phrases n words from time to time.#i really like reading my own words. they remind me a lot of myself n resonate a lot with me.. i wrote them all after all before.#😭 ok i just got a notif bcs i have smth due in 24 hours from now.. (-> i ended up venting again but i have no more space to tag it)#there's a lot i'm stressed abt. anxious even. it's not rlly a big deal in the end n eventually the burden of my regrets will hurt less but#noooo i keep on rambling abt that i guess there's rlly just so much weighing me down in my mind But i will persevere!!!!#imagining stuff or wtvr n indulging in. idk any form of self-expression n being creative brings me so much comfort#when the break comes i'll read books i'll write stuff too i'll watch stuff i'll play video games i'll play/listen to music i'll. yeah. Live#like i want. but like success has always still meant a lot to me i'm too strict on myself w that so w school i constantly just feel trapped#even if assignments r easy n i understand all my lessons in general. i'll pass CETs certainly i'll succeed in the future i know that's who#i'll be but every single mistake just tears me apart and makes me forget who i am as a whole. i've always been 'better' in a way than your#average person i've always mostly generally done well & good but never ever quite the 'best'. so while i do love my intelligence n all as#a whole. ffs i know better but i end up being too harsh when it comes to my shortcomings. so. stuff like stories n games n yeah#those allow me to be free in a way. from my own restraints. from my own cage. so to not. be able to do that too rlly makes me forget myself#while w work n personal stuff like that i'm mostly sure of myself but when it comes to. me w ppl in this world. it's so. unpredictable?#that's just how ppl r. it's. intriguing to me definitely but. confusing. i long to belong but it's hard when most of my life i've felt..#i'm not rlly sure how to phrase it. it's in my head but yeah. so.. i'm rlly just a mess w that. i think i tend to isolate n distance myself#so easily bcs i fall far too much w the thought that. nothing much wld change? recently i'm so confused too bcs i'm aware of reality but#then i'm also just so confused n then a mess in general but i'm returning to like my old self when it comes to stories. embracing that agai#understanding myself a bit more while being distant w others but also lost for the very same reason. ITS SO CONFUSING n complex ofc.#which is. v human ig. but i'm not taking care of myself well so ffs it feels like i'm falling behind but i'm technically productive w work?#stuck between remembering. v well. i'm not too brain empty in the present too. n. i've been v keenly aware of the future#it's all going far too fast n i'm not keeping up Well Enough. the helplessness i think i wrote a while back#bcs i want to stop or i want to do smth or just change n get things done but it's not That easy. n it's been like this for so long now#i'll be fine my mind's just a mess rn n i'm just so frustrated w myself but i'm well enough. a bit empty but i'm fine.#there's a lot more to write n i could have done this in my notes but i'll stop anyways i'll work now. i'll try not to stay up Too late đŸ„čđŸ«¶đŸŒ
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indecisivemuch · 3 months
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Lovesick & Lovelorn
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: You thought that Luke Castellan, your best friend, did not reciprocate your feelings for him. To cope, you wrote letters addressed to him and kept them in a box. What happens when one of your sisters finds it? Inspired by 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' (fluff, best friends to lovers; you thought it was unreciprocated feelings, happy ending).
Note: Ahh, I'm so happy the show got renewed for season 2.
Word count: 3.3k
You were deeply convinced your fate was tied to one with eternal lovelorn. 
Three years ago, you arrived at Camp Half-Blood and settled into the Hermes cabin before you were claimed by your Godly parent. It was there that you met Luke Castellan - one of your soon-to-be best friends. Though, you knew you were doomed from your first glance into his eyes. Then came his friendly smile and an offer of a handshake, where his hand engulfed yours.
At first, you thought that silly little crush would dissipate. But over time, as you became close friends with the Hermes cabin counselor, you were almost convinced he was faultless. You seemed to adore every little thing about him. Along with the fondness that grew in your heart was also self-pity. At one point, even looking at him hurt because you knew he did not return your feelings.
Hence, the letters.
In between your memories of Luke were letters you wrote throughout those years just to cope with the unreciprocated feeling. It was painful, but what else could you do? You truly believed confessing would put your friendship at risk. Neither did you feel like dealing with the heartache of a rejection. So you never uttered any of your feelings to him, continuing to imprint it on lined papers instead.
You scowled as the pen you were using ran out of ink, leaving the latest edition of unspoken words unfinished. Wordlessly, you fold the incomplete letter into an envelope and shove it into the turquoise box you bought while returning from a quest once. You neatly put the box under your bed.
“Y/N, it’s time to head out,” one of your sisters repeated. Two minutes ago, people were starting to leave, so those on cleaning duties could clean up your cabin. Since you were mid-writing, you hastily asked for a few more seconds. Now, you were the only one left besides two of your sisters.
“Yes, sorry,” you quickly muttered, exiting the cabin and almost immediately bumped into Luke. “Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked.
“I’m here for you. I thought we should hang out,” Luke answered ever so casually. Yet, your heart swelled at the thought that he was there for you. Before you could reply, you two were interrupted by another camper, who told you that one of your other best friends needed you and that it was an emergency.
“I’m so sorry, we’re gonna have to take a rain check on that hangout,” you informed Luke. You slowly started walking backward and away from him. “I’ll see you later, though?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Come find me whenever you’re done, yeah?” Luke requested, hoping to spend time with you later. His soft look made you pause mid-step, almost as if your foot had been cemented to the stones beneath. You nodded absentmindedly before snapping out of that state to comfort your friend.
After two hours of listening to your friend and comforting them, you finally left their cabin to search for Luke, who previously told you to find him after. However, around half an hour later, you slowly gave up at the thought of doing so, feeling almost defeated.
As you turned to head back to your cabin, you spotted the Hermes counselor exiting his. You called out his name, watching his back stiffen before he turned to you. You ignored the odd behavior and recalled, “I’m free now if you’re down to hang out.”
“I’m so sorry, but I’m really busy right now.”
“Uhm, well, I guess I’ll just meet you at our spot whenever you’re done then?” you suggested. You and Luke fell into a routine of star-gazing every night.
Laying under the dark sky that painted your whole horizon often made you feel small. But something about that was so calming, especially considering most of the time, you were suffocated by the weight and duties of being a Demigod. You wondered if it was the moment or if it was Luke’ presence that aided your momentary peace.
“I really, really can’t tonight, I have a lot of things to do.”
“Oh
 that’s okay. I’ll see you around?” you replied, watching as Luke fidgeted and gulped while attempting to look normal. It was futile, really, because being best friends meant you could sense when the slightest thing was even off. He nodded, and you retreated to your cabin with thoughts swirling in your head.
Then came the next few torturous and confusing days. For the last two years, Luke would always approach you - almost daily, and vice versa. Being best friends with Luke has been wonderful. Every day together felt like a blessing.
Now, it seemed almost like he was avoiding you. He would find a new excuse whenever you approached. He wouldn’t even look in your direction. Yesterday, you made eye contact with him, and he turned away abruptly, facing his back towards you.
You had enough after day three. You went to your cabin after dinner and reached under your bed with one hand. You did not want to, but this would perhaps be your first-ever letter of anguish about Luke Castellan.
The box
where is the box?
You peered under your bed, mouth hanging open when your eyes could not spot it either. You looked up and around, hoping maybe you had misplaced it somewhere, even though part of you knew you had put it under your bed. You have always done so.
“Hey, have you seen a turquoise box?” you asked your sister as she walked by.
“Oh, the rectangle one, about this big?” your sister reconfirmed, using her hand to show you the size she indicated.
“Yes, that one.”
“Oh, I gave it to Luke.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I was cleaning the cabin three days ago, accidentally knocked it over and saw letters addressed to him. He was right by the door, so I thought maybe I should just deliver them to him.”
Blood drained from your face, and your heart plummeted. Anything else your sister seemed to be talking about started sounding like murmurs, and you could not focus on a word she was saying. Your worst nightmare seemed to have arrived. Somehow, your friendship with him had ended without you knowing. No wonder he has been avoiding you these past few days. He has read them all.
“I need to go,” you quickly muttered, storming out of your cabin. You could feel your body slightly shaking from the panic. No amount of Demigod training had prepared you for moments like these. Then you saw Luke walking over you
with the box in his hands. You took a deep breath and practically forced your voice box to work.
“Listen, Luke—”
“I didn’t think you’d buy birthday gifts that early, Y/N,” he interrupted.
“What?” you questioned and observed the sweet smile gracing his Adonis-like face.
“This?” he gestured to the box. “Your sister gave it to me and said it was from you. Though I thought I should give it back ‘cause it’s not my birthday yet, you might have wanted to give it to me yourself.”
“Oh
” it was the only thing you could utter as it dawned on you what he had perceived the situation as. “Wait, so you haven’t opened it?” you clarified.
“Nope.”
“...So we’re ok?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” your mouth hung slightly agape at his words. As you scrunch your eyebrows, you could see how his fingers fidget somewhat, almost as if he could tell you would bring his odd behavior up.
“You’ve been acting really odd the last few days, Luke. It had me worried. I thought I did something wrong. It seems like you were avoiding me.”
“I was just really busy with counselor duties,” he dismissed it. However, something about it made you a bit hesitant to believe his words. You did it anyway, nevertheless. You blamed it on your stupid heart.
“Yeah, but—” you stopped, not wanting to stir anything. “Ok then, I’m going to put this away, but I’ll see you later, yeah? Maybe we can finally not rain check again?” You hated how hopeful you sounded. You’re glad that the sun had set a few minutes ago, blessing you with enough degree of darkness to hide your facial expressions from being as evident as they would be in daylight.
“Of course, I’ll see you later, Y/N,” despite the dark and only dim lights from nearby, you noticed there was something different about him. Luke was wearing a nervous smile, almost sheepish like a schoolboy. There was a glimmer of amazement in his eyes like he was in disbelief. Though it was definitely overpowered by a glaring degree of warmth. He was looking at you like all those writers have written down in the books you have read before - something along the lines of adoration and love.
You shook those thoughts away again, refusing to somehow fool yourself into believing he could reciprocate those feelings.
“Yeah, see you,” you muttered, hand gripping tightly on the box as you took it from his hold. As soon as you reached your cabin, you opened the box to peer inside. You immediately sighed in relief upon seeing the copious amount of letters with your handwriting on them, all with Luke’s name on the front.
However, your eyes landed on one unfamiliar one. It had your name on it, written in a familiar wonky handwriting that you have always found endearing.
You sat on your bed, taking the letter out delicately, almost in disbelief. Then, dread overtook any other emotion. Was this Luke’s way of letting you down easy? By pretending to not have read any of your letters and rejecting you through the form that you express your love to him? — you had to physically shake your head at that thought.
You took the letter out of its envelope and started reading: 
‘Dear Y/N,
This is probably the 40th time I tried writing this letter. It feels impossible to try and convey everything onto one piece of paper.
You deserve someone to at least view you as their muse rather than always being the writer. 
Hence why, for the past few days, I had to physically drag myself away from you every time you tried approaching me because I knew if I didn’t, I would just end up spilling my feelings out right then. I knew if I even looked at you, I would have just abandoned this letter idea and run to you. You should have seen me yesterday. When we made eye contact, I had to turn away from you because having the knowledge of you liking me back was enough to knock all the air out of my lungs. I was a flustered mess from just that eye contact.
I doubt my words could rival what you have written about me. You once wrote how it hurts to love someone this much and to always be the poet but never the poem. Well, I’d like to thank you for making me your poems. However, now it is your turn. Allow me to be your poet.
You occupy my mind like it’s your castle. If I had to name everything I love about you, this letter would never end. But for starters, here are some of the first times:
The first time Chiron introduced you to the Hermes cabin, I could not take my eyes off you. Chris had to nudge me away. Just from that alone, a part of me knew I was in trouble. I think I came to the conclusion that I did not want to hold anybody else’s hand after just shaking yours.
2.5 years back during a campfire in June, even when the fire had died and the air grew cold, our voices still filled the air. Conversations just flow when I am with you. I remember never wanting that moment to end. Then you started talking about constellations and told me about the ones above us. Right there and then was the first time I had the urge to kiss you, and to show you that I was just as obsessed with you as you were with stars.
The first time I realized I was in love with you was while coming back from a quest 2 years ago. I remember feeling so numb coming back. The world almost seemed monotone, and I wondered for a second, what if I had made one wrong move? Just as I returned to camp, you bolted and hugged me. Somehow, it felt like I had just taken my first bit of fresh air after drowning for so long. I vividly recall shutting my eyes as I hugged you back because I felt like I was finally home. I remember never wanting to be away or out of your hold as others approached and rushed to get me into the infirmary for checkups.
It was only when I was lying on the infirmary bed that it hit me like a train that lost control. A large proportion of why I fought so hard was to come back to you. You’re my best friend, Y/N, and my place of solace and peace. Then came the realization that I was in love with you. I remember everybody else’s voice drowning out as I focused on that thought. It was strangely calming, as if my heart had known all along but was waiting for my head to catch up. Then I remember just smiling as I looked at the ceiling, unafraid of the new feeling.
Last year, the day we went on a quest together lapsed with Valentine’s Day. Every moment felt extra sweet. Us sitting on the train, staring outside the window together like a couple going on a trip. My mind savoured the small things like you falling asleep on my shoulder with my coat around you and us holding hands as we walked through the crowd to not get lost among couples - which I like to imagine that others had thought we were one as well. It was the first time I allowed myself to pretend this is how it would feel like if you were mine and how our lives together would be if we were not Demigods.
I thought for sure you would have realized something by the way I was staring and acting around you that I was irrevocably in love with you. After reading your letters, I realized that you did see it. But you refused to believe that I could ever be in love with you. Well, I hope my letters will reverse all your doubts, because Y/N, it is so easy to fall in love with you. 
In fact, the world I built up in my head during last year’s quest had consumed my thoughts enough to make me frown at the idea of returning to camp, where it would not just be the two of us anymore. Loving you has never been something I was afraid of. Loving you has been an honour every single day, even if you never knew of it. 
It’s also somewhat funny that I was heavily lovesick while you were lovelorn. But I promise, Y/N, that from this second on, I intend to make you know that you are loved and that I am so deeply in love with you.
Again, I never intended for you to wait for three days, but I ended up throwing away every letter I started because I felt like none had suffice. I didn’t want to mess it up and give you something less than you deserved. I wanted to do something nice for you. I promise I’ll make it up for those three days if you allow me to. But one chance is all I need.
If you are willing to give me that chance, you know where to find me.
Sincerely,
Luke Castellan’
Upon reading his last words, you immediately left your cabin with the letter in hand. You jogged to the spot where the two of you would always meet to stargaze together. Almost instantly, you saw his tall figure under the moonlight. As if he could sense your presence, the Hermes boy turned around and gave you a sweet smile.
“You meant it?” you asked as you raised the letter up, slowly approaching him.
“Every single word, including all the unspoken ones I intend on telling you from now on,” the way he said it felt like he was swearing it on his own heart. “In fact, I would have written more down, but I knew I was keeping you waiting for too long,” he explained as you stopped right before him.
Something about this moment felt cathartic. Three years of dancing around unspoken words and yearning led to this moment. Luke grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb over your knuckle. You peered up at him, and it was then that you finally accepted what his looks meant: he was in love with you, and there was no doubt about that. There was no more denial on your end that Luke Castellan was enamored with you.
“Will you let me be your poet, Y/N?” he breathlessly referenced the words you and him had both previously written like he had been waiting for this for a lifetime.
“Of course,” you answered almost without hesitation, watching his eyes soften even more, if possible.
“Is it ok if I ask you another question?” he asked again, his other hand caressing your cheek.
“Yeah?” Your face flushed as you saw his brown eyes dart to your lips.
“Can I kiss you?”
This time, you didn’t say anything. You’ve written down way too many words in the past three years. You decided actions would speak louder in this case. So you pulled Luke down by his camp necklace, hands gripping the beads on it as you tiptoed up to reach his lips. 
Luke physically melted as he brought one hand to your waist to hold you up as he leaned down from the height difference. Everything Luke had imagined before could not match the kiss he was finally sharing with you - the kiss that seemed to seal his lips into a spell that would forever leave them unable to belong to anyone else. It felt like heaven and hell combined because he knew that this was going to ruin him forever, and every second he spent with his eyes shut would be one where he had this feeling and moment sown behind his eyelids. 
You had the same line of thoughts. The wait was long, but you felt like it was worth it. Under the stars, you may feel small. But standing there next to Luke, you finally realize it doesn’t matter. Because he was holding you like you were the only thing that mattered.
You were his sun, moon, and everything in between - no constellations could ever measure to you.
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violetarks · 3 months
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"they don't love me like you do!"
anime: jujutsu kaisen
character: gojo satoru
summary: despite the countless valentines day offers he receives, satoru will only ever accept one confession. but you're confessing... to his best friend?
warnings: g/n! reader, they/them pronouns used, high school! au
"please accept these chocolates, gojo!" says the girl in front of him. satoru casually pulls down his glasses enough to see the red, heart-shaped cardboard box.
"oh, uh... thank you." he awkwardly says. this girl was two year below him, judging by the colours of her indoor shoes. he didn't even know her name. "this is... a surprise."
"i've liked you ever since orientation day. i hope you like these." she says with a nervous grin. she's stiff as he takes them out of her hands, standing up straight to stare at the tall man. "thank you for always being so funny and helping everyone you can."
"ah, you're welcome." he says, tucking the chocolates and the letter taped to it under his arm. luckily, the lunch bell had rung and everyone should've been off to enjoy their break. "well, i'll... see you around."
"b—bye, gojo!" she calls, waving at him as he walks the other way. he gives a kind smile before he turns the corner, dropping it immediately.
on the way to class, multiple other students watched him as he carelessly skimmed through the letter before stuffing it in his book bag, ready to throw it (and the others) away once home. valentines day was this week and it was two days before it today. yet satoru had received tons of confession letters and date proposals, none of which he had the intention of accepting.
plopping down in his chair, he groans, hanging his head, "ugh! i hate being so loveable..."
suguru rolls his eyes, outting his book down. "here we go again." he grunts, shaking his head.
"seriously! why can't i be left alone around valentines day?" he questions out lout, pulling his lunch box from his bag.
shoko bites into her sandwich as she listens to him. as she swallows, she retorts, "maybe it's because you flirt with every living being on earth." satoru sends him a pointed look. "so how many letters today?"
"seven." satoru responds, knocking his bag.
"and?"
"none of them were from y/n." he sighs out, picking up his chopsticks.
"wait, y/n?" suguru pipes up, putting his juicebox down, "as in y/n from class d?"
the blue-eyed boy raises a brow, halting his movements. "uh, yeah? l/n y/n." he recalls to his friend, tilting his head, "what? i've been talking about 'em for the past three months—suguru, have you been listening to me at all?"
"oh!" the dark-haired boy chuckles, nodding his head, "i know y/n. we're in the same literature class."
satoru stares at him in disbelief. the other students surrounding them are in their own little world, but the three of them didn't even mind them hearing if they tried. shoko continues to eat her food while suguru shrugs at his friend.
"are you kidding me?" satoru gasps out, waving a hand in the air, "i've been trying to get with them for three months and you tell me this just now?"
"you should've been more specific, man." suguru retorts, waving it off, "anyway, you gonna' ask them to be your valentine?"
satoru sighs loudly, hanging his head back, "i don't know... we only share bio together, i bet there's a lot of people who have asked them to be their valentine. they probably won't even accept mine."
shoko purses her lips and stretches her arms. "i don't know about that." she claims, "you're a pretty guy and everyone knows you. i doubt they'd pass up the chance to revel in that popularity."
"... thanks, shoko."
soon enough, the bell rings and the day goes on.
the next day, satoru notices something in your hand during biology class.
"whatchu' got there, y/n?" he asks, peaking over your shoulder. he sat behind you, enough room to see the handwritten letter you were writing.
"satoru!" you jump a little, covering the page. he furrows his brow. "it's, uh... i'm just writng something."
"is it... for valentines day tomorrow?" he inquires, curious to who was the lucky person. but you were still hiding it from him!
"no, of course not." you were lying, he could tell by the way you look to the left. a pout falls on his lips. "it's notes. for another class."
"oh... okay." he responds, a bit disappointed. why would you lie to him? he sits back in his chair, writing down some paragraphs from the textbook mindlessly. he saw the way your elbow quickly shifted, you were writing faster. your head was down too, never looking up. you were so concentrated.
he's known you for a couple of months now. you bumped into him on the way to school, and you admitted to him that you were a bit lost since you didn't live around here. satoru, being the gentleman he is, offered to escort you. you thought he was some creep (he tried reaching to hold your hand and when you jerked away on instinct, he played it off as it being the wind).
but once realising you two shared some classes together, you grew fond of him. you knew of the countless students throwing themselves at him. both older and younger. he was the school heartthrob. it's a shame though, only your smile could make his heart race like he makes others do.
when you gave him your lucky pen when he told you he didn't study and he was freaking out, you had this kind smile that made him think 'i don't want anyone else to see this but me'.
and he noticed that you awkwardly took it back from him, looking away as he clasped your hands tightly in the filled hallway and thanked you. your reactions were just the cutest...
when the bell rings, you perk up, putting your 'notes' in a suspicious looking envelope and signing it off with something. you stand up and satoru is quick to walk by your side when a classmates holds his arm to talk.
"huh?" satoru grunts, furrowed brows.
"gojo, i... i wanted to give you this." they say, holding out a teddy-bear saying 'be my valentine!'. satoru frowned when he took it. "you don't have to answer today... just let me know tomorrow, please."
as they continue to talk, he sees you exit the classroom. the letter sits comfortably in your palm, and you look left, right, before walking off. satoru is electrified.
"okay, thanks!" he says, running out of the classroom while he clutches the bear in his hands.
weaving through the crowd, he looks for the top of your head. after more and more people pass him, staring at the teddy and whispering 'who gave that to him this time?', he spots you turning the corner, a nervous look on your face. he mutters out apologies as he bumps into people heading to their next class.
the hallway you're in now is empty. you stand in front of a classroom door, waiting. notably, suguru's math class.
satoru stands at the end of the corridor, behind the corner, as the classroom door opens to reveal his best friend, geto suguru.
"suguru!" you call, smile. your shoulders are straightened, you hold the letter in front of you. not scared to show him...
"oh, y/n, hey." he responds, grinning as well. the comfortability around you two was so strange to see. "what's up?"
satoru feels like he's buzzing out. he can't hear everything you're saying, but you look a bit excited yet anxious. he hears your sweet voice speak to his best friend with such kindness that he's jealous. sure, suguru was attactive and nice and he definitely didn't feed into the popularity like satoru did, but...
why did it have to be you who was interested in him?
"please, take this." you say, handing him the same letter you had before. except this time, satoru sees the 'g.s' on it. 'geto suguru'. and you take out a box of his favourite snacks to hand to him. "thank you for everything, again. you're the best."
suguru takes it with ease, seeing how you looked at him. his gaze softens as he takes the treat as well. "you're welcome, y/n. anything you need, i'll help with." he puts the letter in his own bag before slinging am arm around your shoulders. "now, what're your plans for after?"
he was blatantly asking you out now! right after satoru told him he had feelings for you! such betrayal!
you two walk to the other end of the hallway, in the direction of your literature class. satoru slumps against the wall, furrowed brows and lips pressed into a thin line. after a second, he pushes his glasses up and lets out a slow exhale. he could get over this...
"gojo! may i please have a moment of your time?"
"wait no! me first!"
"gojo, can i talk to you?"
"please accept these!"
or maybe he couldn't.
valentines day was today and you danced into school with such confidence. you had a bouquet of flowers in your arms, chocolates of the sweetest kinds, and a bag of new perfume that you knew your crush would like.
you were so excited.
satoru, who was walking a few people behind you, was not.
he saw the amount of passion you put into the holiday, and it made him sick to know it was for his best friend. the guys was in such a bad mood, he ignored suguru and shoko's calls this morning to meet up and walk to school together like usual.
satoru clicked his tongue, thinking about how dramatic the whole valentines day idea was. really, who needed it all anyway?
in homeroom, he can hear your class (which is next to his, across the hall) start whooping and cheering when you walk in. and he knows it's you by the chants of your last name being heard. he sits in his chair in anguish.
"satoru, morning. finally." shoko says, sitting down as well. she grins, bitting the popsicle stick between her lips. "where are all of your valentines presents?"
"stuffed in my shoe locker and under my desk." he claimed, opening the top of it to showcase the blaring red and pink gifts. she picked at one pocky box, munching on the biscuits. "how about you?"
"i got a couple letters and cookies in my locker." she claims, shrugging her shoulders, "lots of 'em are from the badminton team. i don't know why."
satoru shrugs as well as soon as suguru sits down in front of him. the blue-eyed students scoffs, looking away.
"good morning, satoru." he says, noticing his friend's behaviour, "what's got his panties in a twist this morning? does he know we called him a hundred times?"
"i dunno'." shoko says, looking out the window to the school garden. "ask him."
"satoru, what's wrong? didn't get enough presents this year?" he teases, leaning in his chair to poke his head, "wake up late?"
but satoru angrily swats his hand away. the raven-haire boy blinks curiously before satoru glares at him. "why didn't you tell me you were interested in y/n?" he asks, hurt.
shoko looks back to the two boys, seeing suguru just as confused as she is. "you're into y/n?"
"what? no! who said that?" suguru retorts, hands up in defense, "i'm not interested in dating y/n, swear on my life."
"that's a lie!" satoru accuses, pointing a finger against his friend's nose, "shoko, i saw him and y/n all... all... familiar yesterday after period 2! he had his arm around them!"
"suguru..." shoko warns.
"wait wait, that's—you got it all wrong." suguru groans, now understanding. he digs through his bag and pulls out a piece of paper. "here. open it."
satoru pushes away the paper reading 'g.s'. "no way! i'm not reading y/n's love letter to you!"
"ugh! just open it!" suguru grunts, shoving it onto his desk.
satoru begrudgingly takes it and gently opens the letter, not wanting to rip it. once his eyes fall upon the page, he confirms that it's your handwriting.
'thank you for being the sweetest boy to me. i am truly honoured to know such a beautiful person, inside and out.'
satoru wants to barf.
'sitting near you in biology really helped me to understand you, satoru. you're not only a pretty face, but a world-class sweet tooth, a sucker for romantic cliches and a cologne-collector.'
satoru thinks this is the most beautiful thing he's ever read.
he contiues to read, expression changing, letting shoko and suguru understand his thoughts. the girl looks to the other boy, who shrugs his shoulders and rolls his eyes.
"i'm confused." shoko states, tilting her head.
"y/n isn't confessing to me, they're confessing—"
"y/n is confessing to me! me, satoru!" satoru exclaims, waving the letter around like a maniac. everyone else in the class was suddenly a listener, peaking at the trio. they were interested in finding out what the one confession that resulted in this reaction was. "oh my god, oh my god!"
suguru nods his head. placing a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "yes, yes, they are. i was meant to give you the letter this morning to read before homeroom, but someone was pissy." he scoffs, shaking his head, "so i had to go and tell y/n that plans had changed."
"you... helped y/n plan this all out?" satoru mumbles, "but you didn't even know!"
shoko chuckles, staring out the window again.
"i just said i wasn't paying attention so you didn't think i was snooping. which i was. and i only told you i knew y/n so you wouldn't get any ideas, like this." suguru circles the air with his finger, deadpanning at the clueless satoru, "you think anyone would do this without definitive proof the other person liked them?"
satoru continues to read the letter you wrote for him before his eyes land on the ending. "'please meet me at the school fountain before homeroom ends.'" he murmurs out, blinking, "suguru—"
"you were meant to go two minutes ago." his friend sings out, standing in front of shoko's desk. he points out the window, much like other students were doing in their own classrooms. "you should..."
when his friends turn around to him, satoru is already one foot out of the door. he's rushing downstairs (down three flights of stairs, actually) with your letter clutched in his hand. he almost flies into a couple teachers on the way to the garden, only for their attention to be caught by students opening the windows and pointing outside.
when he rushed through the doors to the garden, you're staring at the floor, still holding the flowers and gifts you brought to school with you. taking a moment to gather himself, satoru runs fingers through his hair and fixes his glasses. the pair you've complimented a thousand times.
satoru walks closer to you and when he catches your eye, you stand up straight and smile.
"satoru." you chime, not missing the thousand pairs of eyes that were following your every move. "good morning. happy valentines day."
you hold out the flowers to him. it's set in a nice box, and the treats are in a gift bag. when you give it to him, your smile is awkward but hopeful.
"happy valentines day, y/n." he replies, taking it from you. he sits down on the fountain edge, and you follow along. "i'm so sorry, i... i don't have anything for you."
"no, no, no." you retort, grinning, "it's fine. this was a surprise for you, anyway."
he sighs, "no, i'm sorry... please, let me make it up to you."
you laugh a little, placing a hand over his on his lap. the flowers were sat on the fountain with his gifts. "sure thing." you retort, "hey, suguru told me that this morning—"
"i'm sorry, i know, i just thought..." he begins, cutting you off. he looks embarrassed, heavy blush falling over his cheeks. "i saw you and suguru yesterday and you gave him that letter. had me thinkin' you were confessing to him instead of me."
you let out a small chuckle, making him gulp, "oh my goodness, i'm sorry, i didn't mean for you to see that. we were trying to be sneaky."
satoru's chest feels lighter, and he feels better just hearing it from you. he links his fingers with yours, facing you fully.
"ah, no it's fine." he tells you, the most purest form of adoration in his eyes that you can see from the top of his slanted down glasses. you grin softly. "listen, i have had a crush on you for months... and i was hoping that you'd go out with me. i want a chance to get to know you personally, away from any prying eyes."
you peer to the side, seeing the people watching you. they were practically hanging out the window, waving their hands and fighting to view the whole scene for themselves. cameras took photos and videos, capturing your moment with him.
"i'd love that, satoru." you say, scanning his face, "you're the best."
it only takes him a single second to reach his hand out and brush his thumb agaisnt your cheek. you don't freeze up though, only relaxing into him. he was the most inviting guy you've ever met.
"can i kiss you?" he asks, voice unwavering. his blue eyes are staring at your face with such kindness that it cannot be described.
you don't even say anything, only leaaning forward and pressing your lips to his. he's smiling against your lips, gentle hand caressing your cheek. your eyes flutter shut, holding his hand tightly.
cheers erupt from the school. screams and whoops from guys and girls alike. most students are heartbroken due to the obvious confession. nobody had even gotten that close to satoru. no one has been able to hold his hand, let alone get him to go crazy over a letter. you got him to race out of that classroom like a madman, and everyone was surely surprised.
the shouts die down as the kiss deescalates, many of the students sighing as they're forced to move on from the heart-throb gojo satoru.
when you pull away, satoru chases, leaving a gentle kiss against your forehead. your smile is wide and you pinch his cheek softly.
"you're such a drama queen, satoru." you say, standing up, "i was wondering why everyone started yelling and staring at me all of a sudden."
satoru stands with his presents, rubbing the back of his neck as he holds your hand. h goes to answer when a voice is heard from the fourth floor.
"the idiot took some convincing, y/n!" suguru shouts, waving his hand, "glad to know he's got some sense in him!"
"shut up, suguru!" satoru calls back, showing his fist.
"first period is about to start, you two!" the principle says through a window on the third floor, "this is all heart-warming, but you've failed two of ms kinoshita's classes, gojo!"
"r—right!" he retorts, pacing to the school entrance as people begin to 'ooh' at him. he looks back at you, smiling the brightest. "let's go out after school today, yeah? i'll buy you as many sweets as you want."
you chuckle, kissing his cheek, "my hero."
1K notes · View notes
satuguro · 1 year
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⠀⠀ â €àœŸ àŒš 20/20 VISION
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lalala! ethan landry x okokok! reader
#SYNOPSIS— based off of see you again by tyler the creater & kali uchis; you have no gag reflex, ethan tells a sex joke, and ethan takes a leap of faith.
#CONTAINS— best friends to lovers, mutual pining, jealousy, emetophobia, fluff
#AUTHORSNOTE— i've been wanting to write fluff lately so.. here you go xx
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your unofficial designated spot in the carpenter sisters' apartment was their armchair in their living room.
you had a list of reasons why; one, it meant more space. you could stretch your legs, not worry about feeling someone's feet near your legs, and you could have your own blanket. all somewhat selfish reasons, but you loved your space. two, it had the perfect angle towards the t.v. that gave you the best spot in the living room to watch it without worrying about discomfort.
which was why you would've been mildly perturbed that someone was standing between you and the t.v. the only difference was that it wasn't just someone; it was someone who rambled too often, who had no sense of personal space while also being hyper aware of it, and who was a flurry of random facts (which wouldn't help him at all, unless someone held a gun to his head and told him to name and point at every country’s capital in the world).
"i've done it," ethan announced to you, his signature toothy smile seemingly more victorious as he looked down at where you were snuggled up on the couch. his well manicured nails (he asked you to do them once, and who were you to deny your best friend?) held his laptop, the screen facing his chest.
"aren't you supposed to be studying?" you asked him with a small tilt of your head, glancing at where the rest of the group was. finals week was beating everyone up, and you could briefly see mindy and chad chugging a redbull at the same time while tara timed them, before you turned back to your best friend.
"i gave up."
"you need to study."
"you gave up, too!" ethan looked down at the huge blanket that you hogged for yourself, not even thinking twice before he was climbing in next to you.
"ow— ethan!" you groaned, feeling him step on your leg.
"'scuse me!" ethan forced himself under the blanket you were snuggled under, making you share your beloved armchair with him before he sighed contentedly. "this is comfortable! maybe i should share this seat with you more often!" he said with a bright grin, making you sigh reluctantly. "i mean if you don't want to then it's fine too!" ethan added hurriedly with wide eyes.
"i was just saying that i wouldn't mind sharing with you because usually you sit alone— which i know you prefer, you've told me so many times and i get it! i really do! but i wouldn't mind sitting with you to keep you company because i really like being with you— around you. your presence. yeah, that." ethan rambled, finishing his string of words with a sheepish smile, cheeks flaring a bit red. "i'm sorry for rambling." he added quietly.
your usually tired eyes softened at that. he had always been insecure of how much he talked, you knew that better than anyone. "i've told you before, e, i don't mind. i like listening to you," you hummed, a downturned smile on your lips. "i like your presence too. and i guess i don't mind sharing my seat with you."
ethan's cheeks flared red at your casual words. you had a way of speaking so calmly, as though all your words were chosen well. in a way, he was a bit jealous.
"you had something to tell me, yeah?" you asked him softly, bringing him back on track.
"oh, right!" ethan showed you his laptop, setting it up on your legs. it was a notion list, color coordinated and everything, with an entire list of shows and movies you remember only briefly mentioning to him. "i made this list—"
"just now? instead of studying?"
"yes! so basically, it has a section where we can rate it after we watch it, and it's all organized by what we want to watch the most and what we need to finish!" ethan scrolled down the list, practically buzzing with excitement (and the cold brew he drank earlier).
"see? i know that i have a whole essay to do but i can do it later—" ethan said, waving it off with his hand. "because i know you said you would do it but i got impatient and did it instead! and look—" he showed you the wide variety of colors for every row. "they're color coordinated! and here's how i think the rating system should go—"
you had watched ethan talk the entire time he rambled, your usually tired and indifferent eyes softening when you listened to him speak. he talked fast— too fast for some people, but you liked that about him—but the way he rambled showed how passionate he was about different topics, because ethan only rambled when he cared.
it showed how much he appreciated what he was talking about. and ever time his cadence picked up and his words became jumbled and he began interrupting himself, you could see how ethan's brown eyes would shine with excitement. you could see how he began incorporating his hands to his words, how his lips tilted up when he talked.
you were so engrossed in ethan's explanation of the movie and t.v. show list that you failed to notice your friends staring at you from the dining table.
"they are disgustingly cute," tara said with a sigh.
"and disgustingly oblivious," mindy grumbled, clicking her pen over and over. "with how smart the both of them are, i'm surprised they haven't picked up on the clues." she turned to chad, who was sulking after losing the redbull chugging competition against her. "have you asked ethan about it yet? you're our in on this, chad!"
chad groaned as mindy nudged him with her shoulder. "i did. he didn't even respond. it's crazy how he can avoid conversations, you know."
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you didn't like parties. not as much as your friends did— you were usually the designated driver or the friend that was always sober enough to take care of their friends, which you didn't mind. it was the socializing part that you minded.
you socialized okay, but you often just ended up listening to other people rather than talking. listening was more your style, but you were only a little awkward when it came to talking to complete (and possibly intoxicated) strangers at parties. you stuck with your group of friends and very rarely strayed away.
but ethan was the designated sober friend this time around, so maybe that would change.
three loud knocks to your dorm room made you go and open it, coming eye to eye with ethan. "you're walking me there?" you asked with a knowing smile, making the boy nod eagerly.
"yup! chad's walking with tara and mindy's going with anika, so that leaves you and me." ethan grinned at you teasingly. "why, you're getting tired of me already?"
"no," you hummed, closing your dorm room behind you as the both of you began to walk down the hall. "you're really not drinking tonight, huh?"
"nope!" ethan replied, popping the 'p'. "after i threw up all over sam that one time we drank at the apartment, and then i threw up on you right after, i told myself that i'd hold back on it."
you wrinkled your nose at the memory. "how responsible of you."
"i know, right?" ethan said with a proud smile. "but because i threw up on you that time, i give you full permission to throw up on me this time."
"i'm not gonna be that drunk."
that was a lie.
to say that your friends were shocked to see you become a more extraverted person after drinking would be an understatement. they were used to you observing the group and contributing to conversations with sarcastic comments, dry humor, and dark jokes that are often made much too soon. so to see you take a shot with tara and squeal happily with her (true friend solidarity; she was as drunk as you were) was completely out of the ordinary.
"i'm gonna go find chad!" tara yelled over the music, making you nod happily and watch her leave. adrenaline and excitement began to thrum through your body stronger, and your first thought was to share it with your favorite person. you began to walk around, searching for ethan, before you bumped into a chest.
"oh, shit! i'm so sorry," the guy laughed, making you send him an apologetic smile.
"it's okay!" you said, taking in his black hair and his brown eyes (that only reminded you of ethan). "i'm y/n!"
the guy smiled at you, offering his hand out. "jaden!" he seemed to be as intoxicated as you were, his steps wobbling slightly as you shook his hand. "do you, uh, wanna dance?"
"hey, where's y/n?" ethan asked tara as she passed him, making her look back towards the drinks table.
"she should just be around where the drinks are.." tara's voice trailed off when her eyes landed on you not too far away. your arms were around a guy's neck— was that jaden from her philosophy lecture? —as you swayed with him to the music. you seemed to be having a good time, the alcohol making you lighthearted as you sang with whatever song was playing through the speakers. "there she is!"
when ethan saw you, his heart fell. you looked so beautiful under the multicolored lights, your hair perfectly styled and your clothes fitting you perfectly as you danced with someone who wasn't him. your smile— your genuine one, ethan noted with his chest aching, the one that made your eyes crinkle and your smile lopsided —was pointed towards someone who wasn't him.
jealousy brewed in his chest along with the heartache, ethan's jaw clenching as he stared at you and the random guy. but he didn't step in. he didn't pull you away and declare his feelings for you, because at the end of the night, you were happy. content as you danced with someone who wasn't ethan at all.
chad came up next to tara, his arm over her shoulders as he steadied her. "hey man, where's y/n?" he asked, still fairly sober than everyone as he had only taken one shot.
"she's doing fine," ethan said, his voice monotone as he continued staring at you. it was unfair how beautiful you looked while you unknowingly broke his heart with every laugh and every flirtatious smile you sent towards your dance partner.
"what?" chad looked in the direction ethan was staring, his face falling when he saw you and jaden. easily connecting the dots, he looked at ethan empathetically. "fuck. dude, i'm sorry."
"it's okay, really," ethan said with a tight lipped smile. but he couldn't keep his eyes off of you and him, the fact that you looked so happy pulling at his chest because he wanted you to be happy with him. he wanted you to look at him the way you looked at that random stranger.
and finally, as you did a twirl into jaden’s arms, you made eye contact with ethan. oblivious to the way his jaw clenched and his eyes lost the spark they usually had, you gently pulled yourself out of jaden's arms. your steps were wobbly, and you nearly crashed into ethan's chest when you finally walked up to him. ethan's arms went to steady you easily.
"ethan, i feel like throwing up," you murmured, and ethan nodded in understanding, worry taking over his jealousy.
"okay, let's get you to the bathroom, okay?" ethan said softly, pulling you close to him as he guided you to the bathroom. he knocked on the door, thankful no one responded, before he opened it for you. he locked the door behind the both of you as you made a beeline for the toilet, grabbing the side of it as you readied yourself to throw up.
but nothing came out.
“go on!” ethan encouraged you, motioning to the toilet. but instead, you looked up at him warily.
“do i have to?”
“yes?” ethan gaped at you, motioning to the toilet again. “just go ahead! nothing to fear!”
“i don’t want to.”
“c’mon, y/n, why not?” ethan whined, making you groan as you stopped yourself from throwing up yet again.
“i have emetophobia, asshole,” you muttered, gently pushing his arm. “fear of throwing up? and,” you messily pushed some of your hair away from your face. “i have no gag reflex.”
“what the hell?” ethan crinkled his nose, blushing furiously as he looked at you in shock. you were honest, sure but never this honest. “i could’ve gone my whole life without knowing that.”
“are you sure?”
“what?” ethan said quickly, eyes wider than ever as he stared at you as you snorted in amusement. “you’re kidding.”
“maybe.”
“maybe?” he swallowed thickly, shutting his eyes and pinching his nose bridge. “oh god, you definitely have to throw up now.”
“watch this.” you took two of your fingers and stuffed them all the way to the back of your throat, smiling triumphantly as you showed ethan your lack of a gag reflex.
ethan could only watch in horror and exasperation. “y/n, i didn’t need proof. i already believed you.” he took some squares of toilet paper before offering it to you.
“i told you so,” you hummed, pulling your saliva covered finger out of your mouth and wiping them on the toilet paper. there was a beat of silence before ethan coughed, his cheeks and ears still burning red.
“can i make a joke?”
“of course you can.”
“it’s a, uh,” ethan cleared his throat, avoiding your intent gaze, “sex joke.”
“even better.” you situated yourself next to the toilet, still very much feeling like you were gonna hurl at any given moment.
ethan sat next to you, clearing his throat again. “i know one way we can test your gag reflex,” he stated, almost ashamed at his own joke.
you chuckled at that, the horrible joke making a you sway a bit with laughter before the sudden motion sickness got to you. without another word, you threw up into the toilet. all thanks to ethan’s horrible sex joke.
he immediately reached over to move some of your hair. you continued retching into the toilet, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. "i hate drinking," you grumbled as you laid your forehead on your arm, eyes watery from throwing up. immediately as you got the words out, you threw up again.
"i know, i know.. but i know you're gonna end up drinking again," ethan teased softly, making your back heave as you managed a laugh, only for it to be interrupted by you throwing up again. "it's okay, let it all out." he couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. “i can’t believe a sex joke made you throw up.”
and you almost laughed again if you didn’t throw up even more.
the sound of the party died into the background as ethan sat next to you on the ground. your head was laying on your arm, which was on the toilet seat. you were still intoxicated, and the world was still spinning, but you could see the obvious turmoil on ethan's face. you poked his arm. "what's wrong?"
"what?" ethan said, snapping out of his daze to send you a tight lipped smile. "nothing's wrong."
"liar."
"i'm not!"
"i know you better than that, e," you murmured, half lidded eyes staring at him. you had thrown up most of your alcohol, and while you were still inebriated, you felt a lot more clear headed than earlier. “what's wrong?"
ethan looked at you, eyes flashing with hurt as he pictured you again dancing with someone else. "do you really want to know?" he asked you, and you nodded. even while drunk, you opted to listen.
"you looked beautiful when you were dancing," ethan began, managing a soft smile, "i don't think i've ever seen you like that. it's not a bad thing or a good thing, but it's a new thing, y'know?" he sighed. "you dance really well, i'm surprised you haven't told me," a genuine smile appeared on his face when he heard you laugh quietly. "and your laugh.. i swear i would listen to it over whatever horrible music is playing right now."
ethan looked at you, taking in your obviously roughed up and intoxicated form. but somehow, even with slightly messy hair and most of your make-up rubbed off and with your breath smelling only a little bit like puke, you still looked beautiful. it was enough to make someone who talked as much as him to go quiet in awe.
"but when you laughed, and when you smiled,” ethan said slowly, taking in heavy breaths with every word. fear thrummed through his body, mingling with the nervousness as he twiddled with his fingers anxiously. to continue on would be to admit everything. to admit how he felt, the thoughts he had been having about you, everything. and to admit it to you would be to risk losing a friendship and one of the most important people in his life.
“.. you weren’t smiling or laughing at me. and i hated that.”
confusion spread over your face before realization hit your eyes. “oh.” and oh, it suddenly all made sense. why ethan was so bothered, why you were so willing to listen to one person speak for forever as long as it was them, why even as you danced with another, something was off because he wasn’t ethan. he wasn’t your best friend.
“you don’t have to say anything,” ethan mumbled, completely misinterpreting your realization for rejection. his eyes watered slightly as he avoided your gaze. “it’s been going on for a while now, and i get it if you don’t feel the same! i really do, it’s just,” he sighed shakily, “i don’t want to lose you—”
“ethan—”
“i was completely willing to just shut up about how i felt as long as that meant i could still have you in my life, y/n,” ethan said, looking into your eyes earnestly. “and i thought i could keep it under wraps but i have to tell you at least once because—”
“i love you.”
“what?” ethan blinked, making you smile, your head still resting on your arm.
“i love you, ethan.”
a toothy smile spread over his face at that, his shoulders relaxing as he searched your face for any doubt. “are you— are you sure?”
“i wouldn’t say it if i wasn’t,” you murmured softly as you raised your head, making ethan laugh in relief.
“holy shit— i love you too.” ethan said, leaning forward, only for you to stop him.
“e, i might throw up on you if you kiss me.”
“do you think i care?”
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5K notes · View notes
walpu · 2 months
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hey, hey, I don't know how many times I've read your post "pre-relationship" especially aventurine part (omg i love how you write abt him 😭). I wonder how it will be once they are in a relationship and the kissing part please :3 thank u and have a nice day!
THANK YOUUUUU
Hope you'll enjoy this post too💛💛💛
being in a relationship with Aventurine
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characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort (do I even write something other that hurt/comfort for him lmao), no beta
can be seen as a part 2 of this post but it can stan on it's own as well
Aventurine
It would take quite some time for Aventurine to move from the pre-relationship stage with you. Will dance around the subject, throwing hints and flirty remarks but as for making an actual move? Oof.
Would cling to your side and shamelessly say something like "aww, can't get enough of me? people may think we're dating <З unless that's what you want them to think haha"
Pathetic. /affectionally.
But seriously, he really wants to be sure that you like him before making a move. That you like him, not his money, not the idea of him. At least that's what he tells himself. And while this is part of the reason, the actual thing is that he's simply... confused. He's already more vulnerable around you than he ever was around anyone else. And dating means being even more vulnerable.
While he yearns for this genuine connection he's also a scared of it. Tim Kreider wrote the line "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known" about him actually. Source: trust me bro.
It would take some time for him to get used to being in relationship. In the previous post I've mentioned that he, most likely, had some short flings in the past. I seriously doubt that he ever had any serious relationship before you though. It's so new to him. At first it would seem like nothing has changed between the two of you at all. Surprisingly, it looks like he even became a bit more distant.
Aventurine doesn't want to attract any unwanted attention to your relationship since it will only endanger you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm himself. Plus he is scared shitless.
He can't help but feel that he looses everything he holds dear. After all, it's been like that for all of his life. And he simply can't loose you.
Mini spoiler for his leaked character story, but there is a moment there when he looks at the aventurine stone Diamond gave him and he realizes that despite the fact that he worked so hard for it, now that he has it, it holds no real value since it doesn't fill the emptiness inside of him. Logically, he knows that this won't happen with you. He loves you too much. But there's this subconscious fear inside of him that he's just so messed up inside that he simply would not be able to love you like you deserve.
Be patient with him, this mans doesn't know what he's doing. Don't give up on him and he'll crawl to your side, holding onto you for dear life.
Once he will calm down a bit, he'll make it up for all those times when you were the one reaching out to him. Texts you, calls you, arranges spontaneous dates.
In the beginning of relationship would spoil you with expensive gifts. He knows what it's like to have nothing so he doesn't want you to ever feel this way. And the best way to prevent it? To make sure that you will have anything and everything. Maybe it's a subconscious way to bribe you. Maybe. Not like he realizes it himself.
Once he'll feel more stable and more confident, his gift giving tendencies will get less overwhelming. He still like giving you gifts but now he picks and chooses. His sugar darling deserves only the best, after all.
Acts all clingy, playful and unserious but actually listens to your every word and is ready to fulfil your every need.
Is actually very caring. Shows his care by pestering you and easing you tho.
If you feel down, will sit stay by your side. May randomly start tickling you, if you're ticklish. If not, will find another way to touch you in a playful and somewhat annoying way. After you cheer up a bit, Aven will put his chin on your shoulder and hugs your waist, softly asking what happen and why is his dearest darling seems sad.
As for kisses. Aven will loooove covering your face with butterfly kisses. And not only your face. Will randomly grab your hand and kiss your knuckles and fingertips. If you've made a mistake of exposing your shoulder then be ready for it to be kissed endlessly.
Adores kissing those parts of your body that are usually covered with clothes. It feels fore intimate for him.
And if you have freckles or/and beauty marks. Oh well. Will trace them with his fingertips, connecting them with some invisible lines and sometimes gasp playfully, saying that he found his constellation. Just a silly little guy being a silly little guy.
So touch-starved it's unreal.
Has very mixed feeling about his tattoo being kissed. Would feel... weirs if you would kiss it during your casual cuddling session. He exposes it for the world to see, yes. But still, when it attracts attention of someone who knows the meaning behind it... Makes him a bit tense, it catches him off-guard. However, if you kiss it after a lovemaking session or when he shares some painful memories with you, he will feel reassured.
Will slowly start crawling out of his shell when he's with you. Before he only shared some brief memories of his past with you, now he'll start slowly opening up about other, much more painful stuff.
It still happens randomly and out of the blue. He remembers something, he tenses up. But now, instead of repressing this feelings, he shares them with you.
Don't push him too talk, he'll slowly open up on his own.
Loves waking up next to you. Especially if you're still asleep. Seeing the sun shining on your face fills him with love and tenderness. Only with you by his side he feels truly safe.
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keerysfreckles · 4 months
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omg hii i haven’t requested stuff before anywhere so idk if i’m doing this right but 😭😭 i would loveee a luke castellan imagine where it’s like an angsty friends to lovers with a happy ending
 kind of like the song friends by chase atlantic idk sjdieie (ps i loveee ur writing ur so talented)
brutal — luke castellan
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pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
warnings: use of y/n and she/her pronouns (yknow the drill), slight cursing
a/n: did i watch mamma mia twice today? yes. will i watch it again tomorrow? yes.
masterlist !
꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱
y/n l/n wasn't sure why luke castellan was acting weird. was it something she had done? maybe it's his time of the month. she'll never know because she's too afraid to ask. she hasn't seen the hermes' boy all day, and wasn't going to bother looking for him now.
y/n was supposed to be mad at luke. the two have been inseparable since they both arrived at camp. so she was pleasantly surprised when luke had just shoved her off whenever she asked if he was okay.
the girl busied herself this evening by collecting hay bales to bring to the stables. this was usually grover's job, but he was with percy and annabeth on a quest chiron gave them earlier that week.
she wasn't expecting any visitors, so to say she was taken aback by luke showing up would be an understatement.
"what are you doing here?" she asks, not bothering to look up from her wheelbarrow of hay. she continued filling it while luke walked closer to her.
"i wanted to check on you. you seemed to he distancing yourself today."
y/n scoffs, "i haven't been the distant one."
luke rolls his eyes, "what are you talking about?"
y/n doesn't respond.
"you think i'm the one being distant?" luke asks.
y/n shrugs before responding with sarcasm laced in between her words, "i figured since you haven't talked to me all week, and every time i asked if you were okay you'd turn around and avoid answering me. that's just a guess."
"i'm not trying to avoid you," luke responds, yet y/n scoffs again, not believing a word the boy says.
"you don't believe me?"
y/n finally looks at luke, "what was i supposed to think? that we were fine? while you were busying ignoring me and making me feel like a shitty friend?"
it's luke's turn to stay silent, which only makes y/n groan and go back to her task at hand. luke follows her. he grabs her shoulder to try and stop her. y/n only shrugs him off.
luke takes in a deep breath, "do you want to know why i've been so standoffish with you?"
"only if you don't avoid me this time, sure, have at it," y/n doesn't stop walking, and she can only assume luke's following her as his voice doesn't falter.
"i started realizing i have feelings for you," he pauses and y/n takes the silence to turn around. she drops the wheelbarrow and faces luke.
"i'm not used to it okay? so i- i figured if maybe i ignored you the feelings would go away. gods it's stupid, believe me i know. it hurt to see you get so upset."
"so why didn't you just talk to me about it in the first place?" y/n questions.
luke shrugs, "i was worried it'd ruin our friendship."
"oh so ignoring me wouldn't ruin it either? okay," y/n turns back around and starts pushing the wheelbarrow in the direction of the stables again.
luke runs his hands over his face in annoyance, "y/n can you please just listen to me? this is hard okay? i'm not used to liking anyone, especially not you."
y/n stops again, but doesn't look back towards luke.
"especially not you," luke repeats.
"would this be a bad time to say i've liked you since i first got to camp?" y/n still hasn't turned around, and her voice is quiet as she plays with her fingers as a distraction.
luke chuckles, and y/n can picture a blush is appearing on his cheeks.
"i wouldn't say it's the best time, but definitely not bad timing," luke jokes.
y/n finally turns around, with her arms crossed. luke has his hands in his jean pockets. the pair awkwardly stand four feet away from each other. the silence between them is defeaning, and they both know it.
four feet turn into three.
three feet turn into two.
two feet turn into one.
luke brings his hands up to hold both of y/n's cheeks.
"what are you doing?"
"kissing you."
before y/n can get a proper response out, luke pushes his lips against hers. it catches the girl by surprise. she kisses back, because she isn't an idiot, and her hands hold onto luke's wrist. luke pulls away first, and can't help but laugh at y/n's frazzled state.
"you alright?"
"i hate you."
but luke knew she didn't mean it.
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marcsburnerphone · 8 months
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Wish I never came
Captain john price x f!reader
Summary: being johns wife has been full of security and safety and you never thought he’d be the one to taint that.
Warnings: angst(why doesn’t anyone write about how scary price can be when hes angry peepaw is cra), hurt/comfort, 141 task force loves you, price is fucking scary.
Part 2 out now!
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Every first friday of the month you bring the boys and your husband a homemade meal to base. It’s been tradition for almost two years now since the first time you did it on a whim, John begged you for a good roast so you surprised him with some and since there was so much you’d brought the rest for his task.
Today you've perfected the dish gaz asked for, they decided rotations on requests now because it became unfair when soap requested meals only he liked 4 months in a row.
You packed all 4 meals in airtight thermal containers and put them in the car before heading towards base about 2 hours away. The military police men greeted you by first name when you arrived and buzzed you in.
“I've never been happier to see someone in my life.” soap rushes you and traps you in a hug while gaz takes the two bags from your hands.
“Good afternoon, wheres simon and john?” you greet both of them with smiles something that was relieving to see in a place like this. The common area was empty during this time of day so it was clear they weren't here.
Before they could answer simon came in, eyes looking more exhausted than usual. He gives a weak attempt at an ‘hello love’ a common and yet sweet name they’d picked up for you.
“I honestly wouldn't go into his office right now hes a little um on edge i’d say.” he grabs his thermal bowl from the bag its always the black one, this way they dont fight over which bowl has more.
“Nonsense simon he’s my husband, im just going to bring him this and be on my way.” simon shook his head turning a satisfied groan at the taste of real food in his mouth to a disapproving one at your persistence.
“love maybe listen he’s under a lot of pressure right now, its really not the time.” gaz interrupts simons beginning of a sentence.
Without another word you just grab his bowl and a fork setting off torwars his office which at this point you could get to blind.
“Are we just going to let her do that.” gaz looks to the two men.
“We warned and she’s right thats her husband i mean worst he’ll do is ignore her, loves her too much to hurt her.” ghost grumbles.
—
The air is tense on your way down the hall but you approach his door regardless as the familiar scent of a lit cigar fills your senses. You give two knocks before walking in.
“Hey just brought you some lunch.” you say quietly as you walk in observing the splay of files on the floor and desk.
He grunts and doesn't even spare you a look which yeah it stings but it was expected.
“Okay then can I leave it right here?” you point at a spot on a coffee table thats somewhat clear.
“Do whatever you want with it, mm not hungry.” he says lowly while taking another drag from his cigar letting the ash fall freely.
“So should i just leave it in the kitchen, i can just-.” you didn't know why you were rambling or nervous even john had only ever made you feel safe. 
“I fuckin said do what you please with it, I’m busy.” the tone made you shiver, and yes maybe you should've just left it and talked to him later but this wasn't a behavior from him you've ever experienced.
“John I-” 
“Jesus fucking christ take the food, leave the food I dont fucking care but get the fuck out of here as soon as you can thankyou!” His voice makes you flinch as he throws a stack of papers on the floor with an unneeded force, he yelled at you for the first time ever and you couldn't even process it. Was time bending or had the air become thin, you didn't know but you took a few weary steps back towards the door and left the food by the entrance on the floor finally closing it, once you were back in the hallway air found it’s way to your lungs as you took a deep breath.
“Hey its okay come on.” gaz was there gently caressing your arm along with the two others catching up behind him in the distance.
They never thought hed talk to you like that but right when they heard that deep threatening drawl boom from the common area gaz was the first one up and out. He was always overly protective of you.
You weren't crying, no but you wanted to. You just closed your eyes for what felt like ages and whispered an ‘I’m okay’ and left without another word.
Once you reached the comfort of your own car your heart caught up with the speed of your brain and tears poured, the last time you’d cried like this had been in childhood. Without another second you sped around the lot and out of the exiting gates wishing you'd never entered them in the first place.
You got a call not so long into your way home, maybe five minutes if you estimated correctly and you almost gagged at the picture of you and john that popped up as he rang you.
The boys were the ones to call next but you just dazed out on the long road ahead, disassociated from the outside world around you. You stopped at a cafe you particularly enjoyed in a town near your home needing to clear your thoughts. 
Price had waited and even started counting seconds to see if you'd pop up on the ring camera he installed to keep an eye on you, it brought him comfort especially when you'd make cute gestures at it or talk to him through it as you brought groceries inside. But now you should've been home an hour ago at most and still no sign of you.
He had not comprehended how loud he could get and he really only snapped out of it when soap appeared in his office with a very disapproving look. Then he finally noticed the look of fear in your eyes or how the sweet smile you always wore was a frown and then his gaze made it to the container he’d grown so familiar with by the door.
“FUCK!” he could cry grown man tears, he spoke to you how he sometimes speaks to his soldiers and the strings in his heart felt like they were on the verge of combusting.
“You fucked up captain.” soap added to the fuel before leaving his office.
—----------------
Anyone feel that chest pain.
Re-blogs and feedback are appreciated đŸ«¶
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hotjaneaustenmenpoll · 30 days
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WHO IS THE HOTTEST JANE AUSTEN MAN ? THE FINAL
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Propaganda...
Captain Wentworth (1995):
Ciaran Hinds has that perfect ruggedness yet friendliness to his face that makes him the perfect charming Wentworth. And all of the longing that he manages to convey in his eyes is so hot.
Wentworth may be angry/resentful with Anne but in general he is charming and the best friend you could ever have. Ciaran gets the pleasant parts of his character and brings them out, while keeping a guarded coolness (protective camouflage) with Anne.
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I dunno if this counts as propaganda or not, but Ciaran Hinds has a face that looks like it was jackhammered out of a shale cliff.
If a line like 'I am half agony...half hope' comes out of a face like that you know that man has a soul for poetry.
I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in
F. W.
I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.  
This is propaganda for the next round because I need my boy to be a finalist! But this letter is all the persuasion I need to know that he is a winner
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CiarĂĄn Hinds in this is a whole other level of "a good man" He makes Anne's decision at the end so much more perfect.
LOOK
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HOW
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HE
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YEARNS
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The yearning the yearning - JLM gives a great look but Captain Wentworth is the king of longing stares. He's trying sooo hard to hate her sooo hard to get over her - 8 years and he thinks he's ready to face her and move on but no he has to notice she's exhausted on the walk, that her nephew is being overwhelming, that she should be dancing and not just playing the piano for everyone else. And even though he's jealous later on when Mr Elliott gives her an "admiring look" in lime he's pleased for her because he knows she deserves to be admired and cherished even if he's angry that he wasn't able to be the one she let admire and cherish her. I just this man - he loves Anne so much and it's so so hot.
Propaganda for Captain Wentworth.
I've always loved Persuasion and so I was voting for him in his polls anyway, but I had never seen the 1995 adaptation. So because of this blog I decided to check it out.
Well. Now I'm obsessed. I came into this tournament fully expecting to vote Firth Darcy to victory. Ciaran Hinds suddenly showed up and sparta kicked him to curb. His every look, every gesture is laden with longing. He's so tender with Anne but then the barely restrained rage in his voice when he speaks to Lady Russell. He's rugged and manly yet tender and considerate.
I BURN, I PINE, I PERISH
If you're wondering why you should vote for Wentworth 95 in the @hotjaneaustenmenpoll, it's because he's got something hot for everyone.
Do you think it's hot when a man dresses up fancy? He looks very dapper in his uniform! Or do you find it more sexy when a man is more casual, a little mussed up, maybe even a little grimy? He does that perfectly too!
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Do you find men hot when they're being tender and restrained? Or do you find men hot when they're losing control a bit, maybe getting a bit passionate with anger or jealousy?
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Do you like a refined man of culture? Or a rugged outdoorsman?
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A warm smile? Or something more broody?
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Someone who's the life of the party, boisterous, laughing, charming? Or the strong silent type, serious, calm, mysterious?
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Hinds's Wentworth does all of these sexy things brilliantly! You cannot lose with him, he's got it all!
II ranked Wentworth as the #1 Austen man in terms of fuckability, and I stand behind that when it comes to Wentworth 95 versus Knightley 09.
Is Wentworth 95 angry sometimes? Yeah. But that's hot, at least coming from Ciaran Hinds' ruggedly handsome face. Have you heard of makeup sex? Tell me Wentworth 95 and Anne don't have the most scorching hot angry makeup sex imaginable đŸ„”
And yet Wentworth 95 is also super tender! The slow, gentle, worshipful way he kisses Anne at the end?? So beautiful and hot. The longing way he looks at Anne in silence. The way he is so solicitous of Anne's comfort to put her on the carriage with his sister! You can just tell he's gonna take the time to worship his wife in bed.
And let's not forget that he writes the most romantic letter ever written! The depth of passion in this man, my god! đŸ”„đŸ’•đŸ”„
This is not a who is the better man contest, or who is the more faithful to the book, or who would you most want to marry. This is a hotness contest, and Wentworth 95 is so fucking hot.
Mr Darcy (1995):
Colin Firth (1995) is book Darcy brought to life. He uses tiny gestures and looks to communicate with us and Elizabeth
 his struggle is so subtle but so palpable. A beautiful asshole with a creamy nougat center. Just perfect.
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Those heart-eyes right up above☝? Hot!
Passive-agressively drinking tea? Hot!
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The way he rushes over to see Elizabeth at Pemberley on those delicious long legs of his with that slutty wet curl hanging over his forehead? Hot!
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Fencing? Hot!
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The way he is so concerned about Elizabeth crying and takes her hand even though he shouldn't? Hot!
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This dimple-y smile of pure joy because he knows he's married to Elizabeth freaking Bennet? Hot!
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Colin Firth Darcy is simultaneously immaculately put together and entirely falling apart internally. The wet shirt scene is so iconic not (only) because ‘oooh almost-shirtless sexy man’, but because it’s a metaphor for how he’s absolutely falling apart!!! This is a private moment, when he doesn’t think anyone can see him. And then he bumps. into. Lizzie. At his house!! And the entire sequence that follows with him rushing out still doing his jacket up to catch her before he leaves. They are both on the back foot and it’s THAT moment of confusion that opens a more honest dialogue between them.
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Without Firth in a lake you wouldn’t get Macfadyen in a downpour!
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There's a reason why Colin Firth is forever known as Mr. Darcy above all other roles he's had and will have! Even ignoring the wet white shirt, which has become A Thing now, he is so hot with his curly hair and his little half smiles and his intense looks of longing and his legs that go on for milessss.
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This cannot be real. My fellow Jane Austen people. Without Colin Firth’s Darcy we wouldn’t have 90% of modern JA content. He opened a door and there was no turning back for modern culture. There would be no MacFadyen standing half undressed in a field at dawn without Firth jumping into a lake first. There would be no hand flex if there hadn’t been Firth doing his best impression of a man undressing Elizabeth Bennet with his eyes and hating himself for liking it. There would be no Bridgerton without Bridget Jones. Let’s face it people. We wouldn’t be here having these arguments if Colin Firth had not been Mr Darcy.
Colin Firth understood Mr. Darcy in a way no other actor ever has. He is awkward as fuck in a way that comes across as snooty and judgmental on a first watch-through, then can be read as awkward and longing on a second time. His performance had such depth while looking extremely shallow at first glance. This man WAS Mr. Darcy. (I love 2005, as well, and I love Matthew McFayden, but he was awkward for awkward sake.) Colin Firth made Darcy's awkward look snooty and aloof.
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THE socially awkward Darcy is the 1995 Darcy - look at him coming and sitting in awkward silence with Elizabeth pointedly asking her if she wants to live a long way from her family (to obvious relief) and then abruptly leaving - vote for him please 😭😭😭😭
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Colin Firth served so much as Darcy that when they did Bridget Jone's diary, they brought him back.... AS DARCY. The smoulder. The angst. The man is the quintessential Darcy.
“Firthing” is an actual term that is used now to describe someone yearning intensely. It is named after Colin Firth’s Mr Darcy performance.
Colin Firth all the way. He's known in our household as Owl Eyes because in every frame he's mooning over Elizabeth Bennet. Unsurpassable, unmatched, golden television (and some of the worst dancing you've ever seen).
Colin has beautiful, touchable curls.
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My high school English teacher was very into using movies to teach alongside literature, which was a great teaching tool. When we read Pride and Prejudice, he used both 2005 and 1995 for various scenes. What stands out to me all these years later was when it got to the part when Lizzy went to help Georgiana after Caroline dropped Mr. Wickham's name and Darcy gives Lizzy this look:
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My teacher stopped the film and pointed at Darcy's face and said, "See that? That is THE look. If someone ever looks at you like that, you know they're in love." And what is hotter than that?
Also this teacher had two cats named Lizzy and Darcy. Not relevant to the poll but I wanted you all to know about them.
Colin Firth dazzles and amazes in the nuanced performance that just blows all other attempts away.
The best thing about the Colin Firth wet shirt scene is actually the scene that follows where him and Lizzie are both just dyinggg of embarrassment but Darcy pulls himself together refuses to lose his advantage and runs to get dressed and chase her down before she leaves - just the mix of cringe and hopefulness at seeing her again is so well done and so attractive!!! (this is just the bit where he's running after her but I love it all!)
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flawless-peach · 1 month
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change your life ✚
feel free to join me in this. I'm going to try to post every day about how I did <3
- get at least 7 consecutive hours of sleep. I've found if I go to sleep and then wake up back for a couple hours and then finish the 8 hours I feel I incredibly unrested. I keep myself accountable by using pokemon sleep which has a great alarm, so I'm looking forward to trying this instead
- read or listen to an audiobook for 30 minutes. literacy is a muscle, and using it is important, but sometimes I can't just sit down and read a book, and audiobooks are great for when I'm cleaning or cooking or folding laundry
- get sun daily. humans are a lot more like plants than you would think and so it is important to get some sun, even when it's a wintery sun that's cold or when it's a blazing furnace. Since I have some mental health issues and am unable to go outside im going to at least open my curtains, and if possible, crack a window to get some fresh air
- start a hobby you can enjoy. this one can be difficult because a lot of things require some sort of financial investment. for me, my hobbies for these six months is going to be writing and annotating books. but being creative is great for the human mind.
- learn to be comfortable alone. honestly this one will be difficult. personally, I live in a studio. privacy is nothing i experience, butthe little moments where you find yourself escaping with TV playing or music pause it and sit with yourself, how else can you learn to love someone if you avoid them đŸ„°
- meditate daily. this will be something I struggle with so much, but I'm going to try in the mornings since that's my peak time <3 and that's when I plan on doing a yoga flow during the sunrise
- eat healthy nutritious food. I hate cooking and I hate eating. having autism can make these really difficult for me to do, but I'm really really trying. I started the week before last to work on figuring out what snack foods I can prep, and now i just need to work on planning out some meals.
- positive affirmations everyday. I really struggle to have positive self talk because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable because I've been pessimistic for so long, but I want to change that ^^
- reduce screen time. this is going to be specifically targetting mindless scrolling for me. I have a tiktok account that I use for motivation, same with my tumblr account, and I also read on my phone and use my sleep app that I need to keep open at night.
- practice gratitude. my goal is to at night reflect on the day to try and find the good. I already reflect on my days and pick a mood, but I want to create lists of things i am grateful for, especially while I'm in between jobs.
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ferrstappen · 10 months
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max, the wag (for the third time) l Max Verstappen x reader
a/n: i was in the middle of writing this when news of Danny coming back to the grid!!! omg I'm so happy of seeing RIC and listening to his radios and everything, it wasn't the same without him <3
also, about requests. Please keep sending them, I've LOVED all the reqs I've gotten but right now im getting ready for my bar exam in a couple of weeks so my time is super super limited, but I promise I'll get to most of them (bc imsorry there are some reqs that I really can't connect with) after the exam, it's one of the things I'm looking forward to <3 but for now this kind of mediocre story telling will have to do...
ANYWAY, HOPE YOU LIKE THIS INSTALLMENT! you can find part 1 and 2 on the master list <3
summary: the continuation of your favorite paddock couple.
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Max arrived to the track by himself.
If he was being honest, it wasn’t on his plans to walk alone with the photographers, Red Bull marketing team snatching him for stuff right after he swapped his credential. Even from far away he was able to hear chants of fans and more media than usual. 
But you weren’t right there next to him. 
He knew it wasn’t your fault, Silverstone not being a track where he was usually welcomed with opened arms and he was aware of you not wanting to be too in the eye of photographers who didn’t make questions to you, but there still were different WAGs and outfits or whatever accounts tracking your every step, especially with the new wave of partners and sudden break ups and polemics. 
Still, the selfish part of him wanted you to enter the track with him, even if it was a few steps ahead or behind him, holding your hand and smiling as you complained about the amount of credentials you had to carry: the usual green VIP Paddock, Red Bull something. You’d think after all these years they’d know me, you’d say and he’d laugh.
On the other hand, you finished getting ready and called the front desk to get a taxi to get there, feeling a bit guilty of letting Max go on his own, especially when there were more eyes on the track with Brad Pitt being there and a lot of important people who’d want to talk with him all day. 
Texting Max to let him know you were already by the guests entrance waiting when you noticed some intense flashes getting near. You’d been around a time or two to know this wasn’t usual, maybe in Miami but not when you were on the abandoned back entrance, not very glamorous and low key. 
But you saw her

Shakira, are you visiting Lewis?
Who are you cheering today?
Shakira, third Grand Prix of the year! 
Did you talk to Lewis before? Is he nervous?
Your eyes followed her, mouth opening when you followed her small frame, exuding class and sympathy, even Alexandra who was also making her entrance stopped to get a closer look of the Colombian bombshell. 
Of course, they didn’t ask her to show and get accredited, she just walked by with a radiant smile leaving paparazzi behind as she kept talking with the friend she came with. 
But wasn’t that a Haas credential?
It didn’t matter, it wasn’t important, because right then your brain made the connections and started dialing Max while nervously biting your polished nails. 
“Baby, everything okay? Are you already inside?” Max answered, but his words were quiet and rushed. 
“Yes, but you’re never going to believe
”
“I’m sorry we have a meeting, please don’t go to the paddock, go straight to the driver’s lounge, okay? Love you” 
He hung up and you wanted to pull your hair out, knowing he is the one and only person you wanted to share this information with, and you were also certain he was the only person who would truly appreciate the gossip and speculation about his fellow driver’s love life. 
Max was able to leave the meeting almost forty minutes later, getting outside for some air until he remembered your call and that you probably were bored to death on the lounge. He was turning around to go there when

When he saw the one and only Shakira in all of her glory. 
He wasn’t starstruck or anything, being immune to celebrities and the imaginary pedestal where most people placed them, but this wasn’t about that, it was about the way she was supposedly hiding under a cap walking towards the Mercedes garage.
He covered his mouth and hastily made his way to you. 
You didn’t greet each other with the usual peck on the lips and short hug; his slightly widened blue eyes told you exactly what you needed to know as he opened the door to his small room. 
“Please tell me that you saw her!” You said as soon as he closed the door. 
“Yes, just now she was walking to Mercedes,” Max was whisper shouting as if someone would hear him and it was the highest of secrets. 
“Did you see Lewis?” You asked Max but he said no. “What if you try to ask Brad Pitt if he saw her and like if they’re friends
 with Shakira?” This time both you and your boyfriend laughed at the idea.
"I did see Sainz trying to go unnoticed with a tall brunette,do you think she is the new girlfriend?" Max asked and you nodded.
"I'm pretty sure he cheated on Isa with her, and I am almost certain she was in the Paddock Club in Monaco during qualifying," Max whistled at the new information.
Now he kissed you, lips fitting perfectly against each other, but your eyes suddenly opened and separated from him. What? Why? What happened? Max was disconcerted. 
“Please don’t laugh at me because this is a serious idea
” You told Max who had your entire attention. “What if we write to Deuxmoi?”
“Deux what?”
“They have all the inside scoops  and sightings, even your name’s popped up once or twice,” Max’s eyebrows rose at the information. “We should write that Shakira was seen on the British Grand Prix and I am one hundred percent sure someone will have more information!” You proposed and Max chuckled.
“Schatz, I can just ask Lewis why she’s here,” Max told you before embracing you, his arms circled around your waist.
You rolled your eyes before resting your head on his chest, but suddenly it hit you, swiftly lifting your head and facing Max. 
“Then why haven’t you asked him yet?!”
2K notes · View notes
cryptidghostgirl · 2 months
Note
Are your requests still open? I was hoping for a request for a Lucifer x sinner reader where she was once in love with someone when she was alive but they betrayed her leading to her death causing her to be afraid of letting others in. She's been a resident of the hotel since the pilot, but doesn't really talk much about her feelings or past life but is convinced by Charlie who says singing helps her when she needs to get out her own emotions. So when she thinks everyone is gone for the day on one of Charlie's bonding field trips, she uses the piano in the main area to sing her heart out, not realizing Lucifer decided to stay. The song I'm thinking of is "Perfect Doesn't Last" by Beth Crowley. So when she sings it and he overhears listening and watching her he's reminded of Lilith and feels for the reader understanding her more than when they first met during his first visit to the hotel (ep 5). I'm not sure of how to end it, so if you want to add anything to it I'm totally up for it. I just thought this song would match him so well.
A/N this is my first time writing for this man. Also,, i think it’s so funny that everyone is just like “short king” even tho alastor is canonically at least seven feet tall and charlie is at least like six feet tall. that’s so silly of us.
Encore (Lucifer x Reader)
Paring: Lucifer x Reader
Warnings: Domestic abuse briefly mentioned.
Word Count: 2,169
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List
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Lucifer had just wanted to visit Charlie. With their relationship on the up and up, he was eager to not give up his chance to fix things with his favorite and only daughter. However, when he arrived at the hotel, throwing the doors open in unadulterated excitement, it was to find the normally busy lobby area empty.
The door fell shut behind him and his smile slipped from his face. Carefully, he ran his eyes over every inch of the room. There really was no one to be found.
"Maybe they're just all in their rooms, yeah." he said aloud to himself, "Charlie is probably... in her office! It must take a lot of work to run a place like this. Yeah, that's what it is."
Charlie, Vaggie, and Alastor had asked her to come with them to the movies. It was supposed to be a reward, for how hard they had all been working. They had really tried their best to convince Y/n to join them but, as always was the case when activities that took them out of the hotel were not required, Y/n had declined the offer.
Y/n was still getting used to Hell in all its big scary wonder, she still hurt. Everything was so complicated and while spending time with her thoughts didn't make her feel good per-say, spending time with others had been making her feel even worse. Besides, Charlie had given her some advice a few days ago she wanted to test out and she didn't exactly feel comfortable doing that while the hotel was crawling with people.
Y/n trusted Charlie. She was the first person to have extended a kind hand in her direction since her arrival in Hell. When Charlie had found out Y/n had been a concert pianist in the living world, she was elated.
"That's perfect!" she had said, leaning across the desk towards her, "We have a piano in the Hotel's auditorium!"
"I... I don't know if I really can... perform, right now. If that's alright." Y/n had replied, wringing her hands and unable to keep eyecontact.
"What? Oh no! That's not what I meant at all. It just seems... well if you did it for a living, you must have loved it. And it seems like you always have a lot on your mind, lots of stuff to process, and I know you don't like talking to people about it and, well, music always makes me feel better. It feels freeing, like I'm getting everything bottled up inside me out when I sing."
"I... I don't think I've ever really thought about it that way." she had admitted in response, "It was just something I had always done. I started lessons when I was three."
"Well, you should try it some time." Charlie had smiled back, "Maybe it will help."
Once she was sure everyone was gone and the hotel was hers alone, Y/n had slipped quietly from the confinement of her room. It had taken her a bit to find the auditorium. When she finally did and saw the piano it held, her breath caught in her throat.
It was a beautiful old baby grand made out of a warm cherry wood that matched the hotel's theming well. The lid had creaked when she had opened it, the keys had been dusty to the touch.
It had been a long time since she'd played. With mild joy, she let her fingers run the usual scales and arpeggios, finding a comfort in the familiarity of it all. Once satisfied her fingers were all warmed up and ready to play something real, she posed them over the keys.
Lucifer had lost himself in the depths of the labyrinthine hotel. The twists and turns of the hallways were unfamiliar to him despite the tour Charlie, Vaggie, and Alastor had lead him on. His hope at finding his daughter and spending some time with her had long since flickered out. He was on the verge of going home, his hand half raised to open a portal, when he heard it.
A faint echo of music flooded the hallway and Lucifer froze. It was haunting and distant, it drew him in. His sights set on a new sort of entertainment for the afternoon, he listened carefully and began to follow the sound.
As he got closer to its source, Lucifer realized that who ever was making the music was not just playing the piano but singing. Their voice was soft and lovely, nearly ethereal in its sheer humanity and anguish.
I would have bet on us
We were untouchable, you and I
I couldn't get enough
It was a fairytale come to life
Lucifer at last reached the half open door to the room the music appeared to be coming from. Not wanting to disturb the artist just yet, he transformed into a snake and slithered his way silently into the room. There, sitting at the piano on the stage, was Y/n.
I had your heart
At least that's what I thought
Now I'm second guessing every moment
Wondering where we went so wrong
He didn't really know much about Y/n except that she was new to Hell. Charlie had mentioned off hand that she had died in an incident of domestic abuse. Lucifer had no idea why she had ended up in Hell or what she was really like. When he had visited the hotel the first time, Y/n had been quiet and reserved. She had stood to the side and watched, barley even introducing herself to him.
At first, he had thought it to be disrespect. Not every demon in Hell was his biggest fan after all and while he was used to it, it still stung that even one of his daughters would be reformed sinners would be blatantly rude to him. He had quickly realized however from her flittering eyes and the way she clutched at herself that it wasn't disrespect at all. Y/n had been nervous.
Of course, Lucifer had made an attempt to make her feel more comfortable but, when he had extended his metaphorical hand, Y/n had just closed herself off even further. According to Charlie and Angel Dust, that was just what the demoness was like. She was shy.
You got inside my head
Taking up every inch of space
'Til there was no room left
Her hands flew across the keys with a practiced grace. Lucifer felt she knew he was there, watching. He felt that she just might be performing for him.
So many parts of me erased
You had my heart
And tossed it in the dirt
As he listened to the words she sung, they resonated with him. For a split second, he could have sworn it was Lilith sitting there at the piano, not Y/n. He shut his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He was oddly grateful when he opened them again to find it had just been his imagination.
Now that was a first. Since Lilith had disappeared seven years ago, Lucifer had been a mess. Lucifer was always a mess but, Lilith leaving like that really did him in. She had been his rock, his guiding light, his everything. He had risked everything for her and he had lost. At least, back in the old days, he had gained something out of the chaos. A daughter, a wife, a world to try and shape. One after another, they were all taken from him. Even now, even with their relationship improving the way it was, he felt Charlie slipping away again.
Now I'm second guessing every moment
Wondering where we went so wrong
I just keep asking
Would this have been worth it if I knew the ending all along.
Without really thinking about it, Lucifer retook his normal form and sat down in one of the auditorium's front row seats. Thankfully, Y/n was too wrapped up in her own world to notice and she just continued to play.
What started so perfect was over too fast
I should have seen the warning signs
'Cause perfect doesn't last
Perfect doesn't last
Light shined off her face, that was how Lucifer had realized she was crying. Despite the tears, her voice never wavered. A performer at her core, just like him.
I would have bet on us
We were untouchable, you and I
As the last lingering notes echoed through the room, he began to clap. Y/n jumped at the noise, turning to face him with wide eyes and cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. Lucifer was undeterred and, getting to his feet, gave her a standing ovation. After a few moments, he ceased in his applause.
"That was beautiful." he said, breaking the new silence that had fallen between them.
"Um, I'm sorry." Y/n's gaze fell back to the piano.
"No! No no no!" Lucifer exclaimed, jumping up onto the stage.
He kneeled before her, lifting her hands from her lap and taking them in his own. She turned to him, surprise drawing out the features of her face once again.
"Don't apologize for taking up space."
"I... I just didn't mean to disturb you is all. If you're looking for Charlie, she's out at the movies with everyone else."
"I was but, I can talk to her later, when she gets back. You didn't disturb me at all, Y/n. As I said, it was beautiful. It was..."
He trailed off, the smile slipping from his face.
"Oh fuck!" Y/n exclaimed, "I didn't mean to upset you! I'm really sorry, what can I do to make it better?"
"You didn't upset me." Lucifer shook his head, "You just... somehow managed to put words to the very things I've been struggling with the past couple years."
A smaller, much kinder and more genuine smile made its way onto his face.
"If you'd like to play more, I'd love to hear it."
Y/n's cheeks flushed red again.
"Theres no pressure." Lucifer shrugged, "Just giving you the option."
"An audience of one... well, it's a little intimidating." she admitted bashfully, "I'm used to the faceless mob of the crowd."
"I can see why. You have an undeniable gift."
"I guess... I don't know. Charlie just said it might help me process stuff. To play again, I mean."
"Was she right?"
Y/n paused in thought for a moment before nodding slowly.
"I think she might have been. My chest does feel a little lighter now."
"Then play."
"Um, mister... king of Hell? Sir?"
Lucifer laughed.
"You can just call me by my name. No formalities necessary. 'Mister king of Hell sir' was my fathers name."
Y/n laughed lightly at his terrible joke. The sound sparked a sudden joy in Lucifer's chest, one he hadn't felt in quite a long time.
"Well, Lucifer." she began again, stumbling a bit over his name.
"Yes?"
"I'll... um, I'll need my hands back. If I'm to keep playing."
"Wh..."
He looked down and his eyes widened. Lucifer hadn't realized he had still held her hands in his. Immediately he dropped them, getting to his feet and looking away in mild embarrassment.
"Sorry, about that."
"Don't apologize for existing." Y/n parroted his earlier words.
When he turned back to her, it was to find she was smiling slightly.
"How bad would it be if I said sorry again right now?"
"You'd be sounding like me."
"Lets make a deal then: no sorries unless something is actually wrong."
"What if I can't tell if your mad at me or not?"
Lucifer looked down at the seated demon. In not one of his wildest dreams could he ever imagine being mad at her but, that wasn't exactly something he could say.
"Then you can always ask."
"And you promise you wont lie to me?"
"I promise."
"Promise promise?"
"Yes!"
She eyed him suspiciously for a moment before nodding her head. Turning back to the piano, her hands found their place on the keys once again. She hesitated.
"I..." Y/n shot Lucifer a look over her shoulder, "Thank you."
"Thank you. There is some solace in knowing someone else out there feels the same way I do, if for different reasons."
"Yeah. There is, isn't there? Maybe part of our deal can be helping each other figure that all out too."
The suggestion had been half thought out. Y/n hadn't really meant to give it a voice, it had escaped her locked lips. She quickly turned back to the piano.
"Sorry. That was dumb."
"What did we just say about sorries!" Lucifer exclaimed, "No apologizing for existing. I think that suggestion sounds rather nice."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Okay. I... I'm actually going to play now. Is that okay?"
With a snap of his fingers, Lucifer reappeared in the seat he had previously inhabited. He crossed his legs, resting his hands on his knee.
"Whenever your ready."
----
Song is Perfect Doesn't Last by Beth Crowley as requested :)
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remember-the-fanfics · 2 months
Text
Ask 'I very much enjoy the whole Gen z Overlord thing, I have been wondering you can do a what would they do when they meet Lucifer in the hotel. It interesting when they see how different he is to what they've been told of him.'
By @darkwrath32
During Dad beat Dad
Trying to write the whole episode, let's see how long it works out..
Slightly rush at the end
-
(Y/n) sat on the couch while watching Charlie theorize, well they aren't actually sure what she's doing exactly anymore.
"Charmander, I think it's time rest." Said (Y/n). Vaggie had ask them to help Charlie with figuring out the redemption plan as (Y/n) is the only Overlord trying to help with it, they agreed not knowing Charlie wasn't going to go to bed anytime soon.
"You can go to bed, (Y/n). I got the handled." Said Charlie, looking at (Y/n).
"Yeah, no. Vaggie will be super upset at me if I just went to bed." They said, getting up heading to the kitchen. "Plus I personally think the best time to think is the middle of the night. I also enjoy helping you with whatever we're doing because I've lost track. You want coffee?"
"Yes please, I'll explain to you when you get back."
-
"Charlie? (Y/N)?" Said Vaggie seeing the two standing infront of Charlie's planning board with a bunch of paper and string attached and to the side a few empty coffee cups and energy drink cans are on a table and floor.
"I'm just not quite understanding why it's not working. Okay, okay, think Charlie. Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think. Okay if I do this, it's going to be-" Charlie said, panic in her voice. "I have trust falls every single morning-."
"With who? And why?" Said (Y/n) in a less panicked voice. "I can only see you doing it with Vaggie." Both of the demons look like a mess and that they obviously didn't sleep.
"Yikes." Said Angel Dust.
"Come on, come on, come on, come on." Said Charlie when (Y/n) noticed the crowed behind them, holding a ball of string with some of it in their mouth.
"Charlie? Sweetie? You uh, you good?" Asked Vaggie, Charlie looked back with sleep deprived look while holding a piece of paper. "(Y/n) this isn't what I ment by help her." Vaggie told the young overlord, who just shrugged.
"Nope! No, not really. Ha ha, I've been up all night trying to figure out why the hotel isn't working." Charlie said, crushing the paper in her hands.
"We've done trust falls and sharing our feeling which still ew." Said (Y/n), bitting the string in their mouth off the ball.
"And now we only have a month before the angel come-." Charlie said before laughing in her demonic form before turning back. "At this rate-."
"May it's time-"
"NO."
"-to ask-"
Charlie getting close to Vaggies face and holding her checks before saying "DON'T SAY IT."
"-your dad." Vaggie finished saying and Charlie just groaned. "Charlie, I know you don't want to but we need every advantage we can get."
"He let the extermination happen to begin with. They just had a meeting and said, "Go ahead and kill everyone"- Wait, that's it!" Charlie suddenly realized something.
"Kill everyone?" Questioned Vaggie.
"Say sike." Said (Y/n).
"No! He could get me a meeting with Heaven!" Said Charlie.
"Boo! It sucked last time! Adam is a dick!" Said (Y/n).
"He was being an asshole but he isn't in charge of all of Heaven. We could go to the top. There's sure to be some angels who will listen." Charlie said, getting out her phone but hesitant on calling.
"What's the holdup? You got daddy issues?" Asked Husk.
"Doesn't everyone?" Said (Y/n), earning looks. "Okay, well then must be a generation thing then."
"No, we just have never been close. After he and mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls, sometimes, but only if he's bored or like needs me to do something." Charlie answered.
"Daddy issues." Said Husk and (Y/n), with one being more quiet about it.
"Well I'd like to meet the big dick in charge." Angel Dust said.
"The ultimate bad boy." Said Niffty before laughing and while holding a knife that Angel Dust quickly took away. "I bet he's scary."
"Wait, who is Charlie's dad?" Asked (Y/n) when Charlie decided to call.
"How the fuck do you not know? Her last name is Morningstar!" Said Angel Dust.
"Well I know she's a princess and Morningstar is a weapon." Said (Y/n).
"Toots, who would be the big dick in charge of Hell?"
"The devil?" Said (Y/n) before it clicked in their head. "Oh shit!"
Angle Dust and Husk laughed at their reaction.
"How have you not know yet?" Asked Husk. "You're an Overlord, you got to know politics in hell for that."
"I know I'm just busy making sure my area is taken care off and then helping here, I guess I never had time to draw the connection." Said (Y/n). "I didn't know the devil had a last name! Or a child!"
"He has a first name too."
"Oh shut up."
"Welp, we have an hour until he gets here." Said Charlie interrupting the conversation.
Vaggie then assigned everyone to do something and everyone scattered.
-
(Y/n) stood next to Angel Dust while he was doing his makeup while sitting on the table. Angel Dust finished and got scared by Niffty who was just staring at him, (Y/n) laughed.
"Come on, my dear. As the other one sponsoring the hotel, we both have to be front and center when he shows up." Said Alastor before guiding (Y/n) to stand beside the door next to him.
"Okay everyone, it's showtime." Charlie said before opening the door to a shorter blond hair demon with fancy attire.
"Charlie!!"
"Hey, Da-." Charlie didn't get to finish before getting hugged really tight by her Dad.
"He's so short." (Y/n) whispered to Alastor, earning a soft chuckle from the demon.
"Oh its so good to see you. Haha!"
"It's uh, good to see you too, Dad." Said Charlie before he finally put her down. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!"
KeeKee showed up along with Razzle and Dazzle to greet him and Lucifer, as (Y/n) finally remembered, greeted them and slight threat to Razzle and Dazzle to keep protecting Charlie.
"Wow! This place sure looks, uh...uh huh yah uh huh...It's got a lot of character!" Said Lucifer looking around the hotel before catching sight of the bar. "OH, what in the unholy hell is that?!"
"Just some of the renovations we had done. Adds a bit of color, don't you think?" Said Alastor, leaving (Y/n) and appearing next to Angel Dust.
"And who are you?" Lucifer asked, Alastor with a flare of the dramatic reappeared behind Lucifer.
"Alastor. Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure." Shaking Lucifer cane before wiping his hand off on his jacket. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name. Like my colleague said you are much shorter in real life." Panicked (Y/n) quickly got next to Alastor.
"Excuse him, I did not say those exact words." (Y/n) said, nudging Alastor. "But I'm (Y/n), pleasure to meet you."
"Who is this? Who is this man and child? Are you the bellhops?"
"Aha! No! I am the co-host of the hotel. You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast." Said Alastor.
"Not a kid, I'm co-manager slash other host slash sort of guest, usually when the others are busy. You probably haven't heard of me." Said (Y/n), copying Alastors introduction, shaking Lucifer's hand.
"Atleast this one has manners." Said Lucifer. "And nope havent heard of you! I guess that's why Charlie called it the Has-been Hotel, ahaha." (Y/n) quickly moved back away from the two.
"Ha ha ha. It was actually my idea."
"Ahaha. Well, it's not very clever."
"Ha ha! Fuck you." Alastor said before Charlie got in-between the two.
"Okay! Okay, anyway. Dad, look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other and share secrets and stories and intimate feelings! Without Alastor or (Y/n), we wouldn't have been able to pretty it up this much."
"Charlie has a very unique vision. I am happy to fulfil her bizarre requests." Said Alastor, putting his hand on Charlie's shoulder.
"Well they aren't bizarred request. Charlie thinks outside the box and it's nice to see her dreams become real." Said (Y/n) from the table, not getting closer to whatever beef Alastor decided he had against the other.
"Oh thank you guys." Said Charlie
"Ahem, Charlie! Dear, eheh, why don't you introduce me to your OTHER friends?" Said Lucifer, getting between the two and pointed at the group around the table.
"Oh yes, of course." Said Charlie getting next to Vaggie. "This is Vaggie, my girlfriend."
"Oh my golly! You like girls? So do I! We have so much in common! You put her there Maggie. Hey!" Lucifer said Hugging Vaggie, tightly. "Oh yeah, she's so pretty."
"Lovely to meet you, uh sir." Said Vaggie, taking a deep breath after being let go.
"This is our guests Sir Pentious, Angel Dust, and (Y/n) when they want to." Said Charlie.
"Your Majesty!" Said Sir Pentious trying to defend his cookies from Angel Dust and (Y/n).
"Heya short king~" Said Angel Dust, (Y/n) making a face at how Angel Dust said that.
"Hello from the otherside, again." They said, waving.
"(Y/n) helps with managing with Vaggie and helps when Alastor is busy." Said Charlie. "They just like helping, But anyway Husk is our bartender, and Niffty is our housekeeper."
"Nice to meet you." Said Husk before Niffty runs over and climbs up Lucifer's coat.
"Hello. I clean." She said before the chandelier fell making everyone cough.
"Alright then." Said Lucifer, pointing his cane at the chandelier magically making it disappear.
- "No one is gonna call you dad with that creepy ass smile" the song-
After Mimzy appeared, taking Alastor attention for alittle bit.
"So... you look nothing like how your depicted on earth." Said (Y/n), looking at Lucifer. "They used way to much red."
"..You're a sinner? When did you arrive in Hell?" Asked Lucifer.
"A few years ago. Around 2019 ish? It kinda blurry. I'm technically an Overlord." Answered (Y/n).
"(Y/n) is the youngest in the amount of years in Hell and age." Said Charlie. "They got here when they were 18 so that why they look like a kid." Said Charlie before Mimzy noticed that Lucifer was here, pushing Sir Pentious out of her way.
"Pleased to meet ya! Your Highness." She said before nudging Alastor. "Alastor, you gotta warn a girl when she's in mixed company."
"Charmed, I'm sure." Said Lucifer, sounding like he didn't care.
"As much as I'd love to catch up, Charlie, (Y/n) and I have a tour to continue." Said Alastor, Lucifer hearing this dragged Charlie.
"I'm sure Charlie can handle showing me around." Said Lucifer. "Along with (Y/n)."
"Why am I getting dragged into this?" They questioned with no response.
"Nonsense!" Said Alastor, grabbing Charlie and moved foward. "We started the hotel together, and we'll show it off together. Right, Charlie?"
"I was here before you!" Said (Y/n)
"Oh, right." Charlie said and Alastor let her go so she could show her father around with Vaggie and (Y/n) following behind.
This is going to be an interesting tour.
-
"So, once we have the proof that redemption is possible, this whole hotel will be full of demons wanting to check out into heaven! We just need a little time to prove it. The sharing circles haven't been working as fast as I hoped." Charlie told her father, leading the group. (Y/n) walking close to Alastor noticed when Alastor stop and looked back to see Husk.
"Hey, boss. Can I have a word? Uh alone,(Y/n)." Asked Husk.
"Hurry along (Y/n), I wouldn't be long." Said Alastor and (Y/n) got a nervous feeling about what the conversation going to be.
"Okay, see ya Husk." They said before walking to where Charlie and the others went, not seeing Alastor turn his head an 180 degree to face Husk.
"What is it?"
-
(Y/n) caught up with Vaggie, who was walking behind Lucifer and Charlie.
"What happened?" Asked Vaggie, who noticed (Y/n) and Alastor had stopped earlier.
"Nothing hopefully, Husk just wanted to talk to Alastor." They explained. "How's it going?" Noticing the nervous look on Lucifer's face. Vaggie didn't answer before they got on a balcony and Charlie had her help explain the hotel mission.
"And we've almost been able to find all of Angel Dust's drug stashes
 almost." Said Vaggie.
"I remember when I found one the first time, still had no idea what it was." Said (Y/n), remembering how they showed Vaggie it and she quickly took it away and scold Angel Dust for it.
"So, once that's out of the way, it should be much smoother sailing!" Said Charlie, (Y/n) zone out know with how Lucifer acting Charlie would be disappointed in his response. They leaned on the railing, looking at the view of Hell.
"-Heaven, is not exactly as carefree as you might think. Yeah, they have rules, lots of rules, and they aren't very open minded as you'd hope. Look at (Y/n)!Why would heaven put a kid here? Unless they're a mass murder." Said Lucifer, getting (Y/n)'s attention.
"I'm not."
"These are our people, Dad, I
 I have to try!" Said Charlie.
"Our 'people' Charlie, are awful! They got gifted free will and look what they did with it! Everything's terrible!" Said Lucifer.
"Hey! I didn't even get to even use my so call freewill and Charlie is trying to help!" Said (Y/n).
"Well I don't want her to herself on the line for people like-." Said Lucifer before a loud thud, shaking the hotel.
"For fucks sake."
"Geez! What now?!" Said Vaggie before everyone looked out to see Loan sharks at the front door with a battering ram.
"Well, like that." Said Lucifer.
"Mimzy! We know you're in there you lousy bitch!" One of the sharks yell
"Oh go fuck yourself!" Yelled (Y/n) before being pulled into a portal by Charlie.
"Que Carajo?!" Yelled Vaggie.
"What's going on?!" Said Charlie.
"I maaaaaay be in trouble with some loan sharks. I may or may not have borrowed 50 grand from—." Said Mimzy before hiding from a loud sound "And I may have also stolen a car
 and crashed it
 into the loan shark's girlfriend, but that bitch had it coming!"
Then all hell broke lose by the windows breaking with a barrage of fireballs, scaring everyone.
"My windows!" Yelled Niffty, upset with the broken windows.
"Ah, we're under siege! Ah! Take cover!" Said Sir Pentious, finally letting go of his cookies while dodging a fireball. Everyone panicking scrambled for cover.
"I'm going to fucking kill these assholes!" Said (Y/n), getting pulled by Charlie again away from a fireball.
"You see? This is exactly what I'm talking about Charlie. You build something nice, you invite people in and offer them everything and they just bring violence and chaos to your doorstep. It doesn't matter how well intentioned you are, they're always going to disappoint you." Said Lucifer unbothered with the chaos, getting on (Y/n)'s last nerve.
"You- just shut up! I'll handle this-." They said before Alastor appeared infront of them.
"No my dear, leave it to me. It's time to remind everyone why I am here."
"I'm also here for a reason, Alastor." Said (Y/n), glaring at the other overlord.
"Very well, shall we dear child?"
"We shall."
"A reminder to all, not to mess with the radio demon!"
"Oh, finally! Took you long enough!" Said Mimzy, earning a look from (Y/n).
(Y/n) let Alastor eat everyone in his demon form while they fought off and weakened the rest for him to finish.
"Does it even taste good?"
"Do you want to try some?"
"No thanks old man."
(Y/n) left Alastor to deal with Mimzy, seeing Charlie and Lucifer comforting each other before singing from the door way.
-"I'm happy they are solving their issues but why does it always have to be by song?"-
"Aww, that's so sssweet." Said Sir Pentious.
"It was." Said (Y/n), patting him on the back.
"Ok, I can get you the meeting but once you're in Heaven, I won't be able to go with you. Will you be ok?" Said Lucifer.
"I'll be fine." Said Charlie.
"That's my girl, good luck kiddo." He said before vanishing in red mist. (Y/n) got closer to Charlie.
"So you're gonna actually do this? Fucking mint, I guess." They said, not completely on board about Heaven of all places.
"The next part is going to be scary, you ready?" Said Vaggie.
"I'm ready, cuz you're gonna be with me." Said Charlie, hugging Vaggie.
"In spirit, right?" Said Vaggie.
"In Heaven!"
"Yay..." said Vaggie before (Y/n) started laughing at her reaction, earning a glare from Vaggie and a look from Charlie.
"You're coming too, (Y/n)!" Said Charlie, making (Y/n) stop laughing.
"Why?!" They said.
"Because you were the first one to help after Vaggie! You're a main part of the hotel!" Said Charlie, pulling (Y/n) in the hug.
"I'm killing myself." Said (Y/n) with a blank look on their face.
"(Y/n)!"
"I'm kidding... mostly."
"Shit.."
-
"Why would they want to meet (Y/n) aswell?"
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spitdrunken · 3 months
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i am absolutely insane about your headcanons with the vee's, my mind is so full now... this is exactly what i was hoping to find when searching through the hazbin x reader tag after watching the episodes đŸ‘ïžđŸ™đŸ» please i'm so!! the being a writer for the vee's imagine is such a good idea, val and his.. comment especially got to me..
also, for your consideration:
Val — or all of the Vee's, really —, but, in the beginning, he's really not convinced about the quality of your dialogues, despite all the lines he's read (or, well, has had Vox read to him), so naturally you have to read your previous stories out loud to him, cheeks flushing and squirming when it gets to particularly graphic scenes and his gaze on you is so very heavy, smoke caressing your jaw while you stumble over your words.. It's worse if you've written about them and a character who resembles you, and Val's smile widens when you skip from story to story, mentioning the character — definitely not you — sucking Vox off, bending over willingly for Val and begging for Velvette to touch her, or even take all three of them at once, greedy...
Also the. love potions Velvette makes have me feeling things.. Her or Vox but they might end up putting a drop or four into your glass — purely accidentally, of course! —, and...
this is terrible.. my mind is too full now... i might have to post writing for hazbin now and it is your fault alone.. (affectionate; truly, I've enjoyed your thoughts so very much!! thank you for sharing!)
I'm glad you enjoyed it so much :D!! I had an absolute blast writing it myself, and I've been thinking about it lots!! Your ask made it even Worse (/pos) and I simply had to write more!! Please please please let me know if you write something for Hazbin, I can tell from your ask already that it'll be wonderful! And if you ever wanna chat about these guys, feel free to message me again, haha.
Notes: power imbalance, sexual harassment, heavily dubious/noncon due to love potion usage.
The fact Vox even bothers at all to take the time to sit Valentino down and read to him is already a show of your quality— He really wouldn’t go through wrangling him like that for just anyone, especially not with Val getting a bit pissy when being reminded your works were being compared to his. He needs to be told that, obviously, Val, some mere written words are never going to compare, especially not in earnings, to his creations. This placates Valentino. But all Vox gets for his efforts are a lazy flick of one of Valentino’s four wrists, his eyes not even looking at him. “Look, I still think it fucking sucks. But if you wanna hire them so badly, whatever. I’ve got better shit to do than listen to daddy’s horny story-time.” Suffice it to say, he becomes a lot more
 Amiable (poor you) once you’re actually working there, and he has a face to attach to the stories. He can tell upon first glance that you’re one of those pathetic little hermits, too scared to leave your own shitty apartment, barely scraping by— He’s recruited plenty of those types as whores, after all. So easily pushed around that it shouldn’t give him nearly as much satisfaction as it does.
When Valentino practically demands you join him in his room and read your previous work to him, you sputter out protests, heart skipping a beat. Every employee in the company has something bad to say about this man, and so he’s about the last person you want to be caught alone in a room with. Especially not his bedroom.
“Ah, sir, I’m not really sure—“ But he’s already wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders, pulling you flush against his side as he drags you through the halls. The first thing that strikes you is how different the texture of coat is than you were expecting. It doesn’t even feel like anything at all. “Oh, sweetheart, call me Valentino. No need to be so unfamiliar with each other.” He practically purrs, a single finger tracing up the contours of your chest. “I feel like we’re going to get quite familiar.” If all the alarms weren’t ringing in your head before, they most definitely are now. But there’s nothing you can do. His grip on you is tight and, underneath his red coat, you can feel the hard metal of a pistol pressing against you.
He takes you to his room, walls covered with posters featuring himself, and you hardly have the time to look around before he sits you down on one of his red couches, still caught underneath one of his arms. It’s hard to think, much less speak, as Valentino starts to prod you to pull out your phone and start reading. “No need to be shy. You’re such an artista, aren’t you? Don’t keep me waiting.” It’s easy, at first. When the scene hasn’t grown explicit yet, and you can pretend you’re only reading the text out loud to yourself like you always do, making sure the sentences sound right. But Valentino makes it hard for you to distract yourself entirely. He rubs circles on the skin of your thigh, and the smoke from his pipe has long since been the only thing you can smell. The red smoke makes your head a little hazier, tongue a little looser— Though that all just might be because you’re not getting enough oxygen. Your every muscle is tense and, you think, this is what being a prey animal must feel like. The first time you stutter out the word ‘cock’, Valentino barks out a laugh, loud and sudden, entirely contrasting with the sultry demeanour he’s been putting on the whole time. You jump, gaze flickering from the screen to his face, before continuing. It gets worse when you realise exactly what story you’re reading out loud to him, one of the ones you’d never even posted anywhere, so utterly self-indulgent and poorly thought out that you regret it with every ounce of your being. (Unbeknownst to you, Vox has already read every draft you’ve ever typed up, but that’s neither here nor there.)
“Sorry, can I maybe, um, read a different one?” You practically squeak out. “I realised I have some better drafts, and
” “No,” Valentino shuts you down, tone temporarily harsh. “Don’t get too fucking cocky now, you’re already taking up enough time as it is. Shit’s about to get interesting, finally.” He’s saying all of this as if he wasn’t the one to drag you there in the first place.
So you trudge onward, reading as fast as you possible can, just trying to tough it out. As you read about a scared, unaccomplished demonic main character catching the eye of a trio of some of the most famous demons in town—through entirely unrealistic circumstances—you can see his grin grow wider from the corner of your eye. His nails dig into the flesh of your thigh, the smoke surrounding your face turning to caress your cheeks.
“So, let me gets this straight
 You wrote about a trio of powerful demons with matching names, taking turns fucking an absolute nobody silly. One of them’s a pimp, the other a fashion designer, and the other a business man.” Valentino doesn’t give you the chance to respond. “Greedy little slut. You even chose this one specifically to read out to me, huh? Seems I got you all wrong,” he hisses out. “This must be a dream come true for you, isn’t it?”
Let’s just say that you got enough ‘material’ to write another four or so stories, just from that line alone.
----- A drop of love potion, and models always behave the absolute best, or so Velvette thinks! (As long as you don’t put in too much. It’s very hard to take good pictures when the girls keep trying to kiss you.) No bitching, no whining, only an easy to pose, cute demon to work with. And if she dresses you up in clothes that reveal more than they obscure, purely for her own enjoyment and usage, who’s going to blame her?
Certainly not you. You won’t remember a single damn thing. Not even the parts where you babble on about how pretty and gorgeous and cool she is, and how you’ve admired her for so long— All things she’s heard a million times before. Normally, she wouldn’t care less about it, but such words coming from someone with only a drop of her potion in her system means they’re all the absolute truth. She thinks it’s almost cute when it’s coming from you, really. ------------ Vox, on the other hand, would be more likely to use his hypnosis on you than a love potion. Just to have a few minutes in the middle of a meeting where you’re practically putty in his hands, all of your usual anxiety and shame having slid right off of your shoulders. He doesn’t feel any guilt about it whatsoever. Having read all of your works, he finds it safe to say that this is the exact kind of scenario you would enjoy

And even if you didn’t, he still would. He gets a bit of a thrill out of the loopy, relaxed smile on your face as you nuzzles your cheeks against his arm, professing all of the thoughts you had about him before working at VoxTech, and the ones you still have today. It’s during one of these exact moments, that he’d likely find out that Valentino had fucked you already, something he hadn’t found necessary to mention. They’ll have a bit of a discussion about that later!
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