hi! i hope this doesn't burden you...i had some doubt?

so, i don't understand the term trans...like is it for the biologically trans people (if that makes sense). does it have anything to do with genitals?

i am a girl (urgh..) and i kind of feel like i am trapped in my body as a girl? i want to be boy so bad, want people to use he/him pronouns for in..it's like i have bad gender envy towards boys (?).

is there a term for it? am i trans?

i am so lost and the online resources seem so vague and not having someone to talk to about it in real life is..sighs

Hi my love!

This is a super common misconception. You do not have to change your genitals to be considered trans. Some trans people change their body in some way, while others might not be able to access that care, and still others just don't want to.

"Trans" means that someone identifies as a different gender than they were assigned at birth. So if someone is assigned female at birth, and then later identifies as a boy, they would be considered trans, regardless of how they look or what (if anything) they do to alter their body.

You say you were assigned female at birth. If you feel you are a boy, then yes, you would be trans!

There's also other things outside of the boy-girl binary. That identity- nonbinary- means that the person doesn't really identify just within the 'man' or 'woman' box. They might feel like both, neither, or some other combination. Many nonbinary people also consider themselves trans, because they are identifying as a different gender from their AGAB as well.

So all in all, I can't make the decision for you if you're trans, but I can say changing genetalia is not a defining factor :D Let me know if you have more questions! <3

I'm naming you envy anon!

Hey all. Happy Mother's Day. Long text post vent about mother's day below...

CW: gaslighting, manipulation

As I'm sure most folks know or have surmised. My relationship with my mom has been rocky, to say the least. She gaslighted and manipulated me, whether she knew it or not. This led to me devaluing my time and worth as a person. Feeling reduced to just a tool for others to use until it can't be used anymore.

I don't really feel good on Mother's Day because of this. It just reminds me of all the bad. Since she has passed on now, I've been feeling a bit more at peace with the situation, but I still wish that things could have been better. Maybe that's partially my fault for not calling her out sooner. Hardly. I think that's the gaslighting speaking through me.

She really fucked me up mentally with invalidating my existence as a trans woman, in spite of her claims to be supportive of the social causes. Just supportive until it truly entered her circles. That's what made it worse, though. She would preach love and acceptance and then turn around and say gender is binary. Like what the fuck.

As folks are apt to do, this rocky relationship has led me to overcorrect in a way. I care. A lot. About us trans folks. To the point that I would literally do anything in my power to try and find a way to help others in need. I try to put on this motherly visage to internally and externally make up for my own lack of having that positive motherly presence that I wish I would have had and offer the same to anyone else that needs or wants it.

I want to help others not go through this hell that can come from discovering yourself and being open with those close to you. Because if your blood relatives don't accept you, that's not your problem. It's theirs.

So if you ever feel like you need a mama's presence on this day or any others. Feel free to reach out. I want to be here for all the people who feel like their biological mother isn't there for them.

I know. I get it. And I love you all so so very much ❤️ Happy Mother's Day

what's up with binary trans people understanding that they/them can be misgendering for them, reducing their manhoods and womanhoods, degendering and therefore dehumanizing them but when it comes to neopronoun users who also are often misgendered with they/them, all we get is "they/them is gender neutral"

Feast your eyes! My pride stars :)!

Dear transmascs,

I love y'all, I appreciate your posts and find solidarity in your struggles. But please, PLEASE could you acknowledge that some (many) trans people who don't identify as transmasc share in the same struggles? Please could you acknowledge non-transmasc (afab) non-binary/genderqueer people in your posts that also affect them once in a while? Could you please NOT co-opt the death of a NON-BINARY trans person to talk about how transmascs are oppressed for being transmasculine? Like, yes, there are overlaps between transandrophobia and enbyphobia (and transmisogyny) and these are important to talk about but please realise that you can do this WITHOUT erasing non-binary people who do not identify as transmasc.

Idk maybe this seems like a non-issue to a lot of people but it's honestly deeply fucking upsetting to me, as an (afab) genderqueer person. I'm not saying you have to make all posts about transmasc people about non-binary people as well but please just. When something is ABOUT a non-binary person and that person doesn't explicitly identify as transmasc, please, please don't erase their identity and make it ONLY about the experience of being transmasc??

I'm so fucking tired.

Signed,

A genderqueer person

(btw if you come on this post being shitty about transmascs or talking about how transandrophobia isn't real or whatever, you're getting an instant block. This ain't about that, transandrophobia is real but so is enbyphobia/exorsexism.)

*scrolling through the tag for the first time*

"Mizu is a trans man and so it's transphobic for the creators to show part of his life as a woman or talk about him with she/her at all"

*absurd amount of self control not to engage in what would become a fruitless discussion, ultimately keep scrolling*

"Mizu is a woman and it's disrespectful to women to call her a trans man because it takes away a 'strong woman' representation"

*scream into a pillow*

I feel bad for unfollowing some people I've followed for a long time but god damn you guys love inventing new binaries and labels to put on people huh

please don't use he/him to refer to byan, thank u

the way terfs have made me see the word Feminist as a red flag bc i'm like ''oh does this person care about the struggles i have faced as a woman and want to hear me out or do they think i have to conform to their narrow viewpoint in order to preserve the womanhood apparently given to me by god''

Actually I've decided I'm sick of being cis people's only irl experience with genderqueer/nonbinary people

What are your pronouns?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

FINALLY PUBLISHED PART 2. I AM SO HAPPY. HAVE SOME PIRATES.

Top row: Phoenix the Cat & Cat the Phoenix (no relation)

Bottom row: Brook "The Beast" Broster & Otho the Demolisher

You can see more of the Birds of Prey Pirates on AO3 in the published scripts and concept art for my queer buddy-comedy fantasy-adventure graphic novel, The Blacksmith!

[internalized cissexism probably]

probablymaybe there is a maybemeaningful difference between people whose primary relationship to transness is ‘knowing for sure they want(ed) to change their bodies’ vs people (like me) whose primary relationship to transness is ‘knowing for sure they want to destabilize the idea that a certain kind of body automatically means a certain kind of gender’

(though like. that’s not a binary with no overlap! probably many/most of us in the second category also have at least some alienated/wistful bodyfeelings, that they might even ever take action about! god knows i really extremely definitely do! i just also have. a lot of barriers between me and even identifying what i want, let alone taking any action about it. [see also: lunch.])

but also i kind of think the weird self-deprecating urge to be like ‘😔 yes i promise i am aware of my cis-passing privilege and know it makes me Less Trans Than Thou really’ or whatever (which like. said so-called cis-passing privilege is situational and also upsets me even as it lends me certain types of safety [and removes others tbh! like. when i get read as a queer woman it’s. really not always a positive vs being read as a maybeiguess boy/man!]) is. not really in fact all that helpful and actually kind of strengthens pretty cis ideas abt how gender even works and abt how natural and dominant the cis framing is, such that like, if it’s at all conceivable to round someone down to basically-cis it’s appropriate to do it—that it’s got such strong gravity you gotta achieve escape velocity or else be stuck in orbit around it forever. whereas i’m really quite deeply invested in the idea that like. essentially the same gender experience is potentially viewable thru a variety of lenses, and we ask the person involved which one(s) feel(s) best to them, and what they say is what we go with, not what we decide we think about their body or their trajectory or their peer group or whatever else.

(anyway. nothing new here really i just like. have no bolstering so i gotta keep shoring myself up.)

-.-

someone refers to me with he/him: sure 👍

someone talks about me like i'm actually a guy: what the fukc

interesting observation i've made: i'm a genderqueer intersex trans person who's been on T for 9 years. i wear a lot of elaborate makeup and dress in "women's" clothing most of the time. my body is very masculine and i don't hide my "masc" features like my facial and body hair when i go out, i don't try to pass as any given binary gender, i did in the past and it made me miserable, so i just go about my life as the genderqueer person that i am

whenever i'm outside in a skirt or dress and my beard and body hair are fully visible, i do get a lot of compliments from fem people and women, but i actually get a very large portion of my comments from masc people and men. i originally thought that men would be the most hesitant, but i actually get a lot of men who approach me saying things like "i really dig what you're doing" or "keep that up" or even things like "you dress like how i feel on the inside." that one really stuck with me.

if this many men and mascs are willing to approach me- how many more feel the same way and were too shy or scared to say it out loud for fear of judgment from those who may overhear?

we societally groom men and AMAB people to believe they don't want to wear dresses, skirts, and makeup- but they do. whether or not these people were all transfem eggs or gay is not for me to speculate on; what i want people to take away from this is that people of all gender identities want to wear dresses, skirts, and makeup. people of all gender identities want to dress in different ways. we teach each other that women only wear certain clothes and men only wear certain other clothes, but that's just not the reality of it.

people are way more nuanced than that, and i've seen it with my own two eyes. it's beautiful. the world is a lot more open minded than we're taught to believe. we need to start letting everyone dress as they please. it's clear that most people don't fit into this rigid binary we've created. humanity is just too diverse for that.