the way terfs have made me see the word Feminist as a red flag bc i'm like ''oh does this person care about the struggles i have faced as a woman and want to hear me out or do they think i have to conform to their narrow viewpoint in order to preserve the womanhood apparently given to me by god''

..A RANT ON WHY I AM A FEMINIST..

Today I was crying in the toilets at work. That probably seems like the most stupid thing to say when you want to promote equality... but hear me out. Today was also International Women's Day, and since my colleagues think is fun to use me as a dartboard whenever the subject FEMINISM comes up I had to endure a lot of jokes. And to be fair, I don't mind jokes. However when they are paired with the inability to see your own privilege I kind of get upset. I would have stayed and debated them, but I did that the first 20 times and it just doesn't work. #learningthehardway

I know that I get very emotional about this subject. I know I will get angry. And you know what, I should have to the right to get angry. THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT. But instead of fighting a battle I can't win, with 10 people against 1. Let me write out why I am still a feminist. And what it really means to me.

Feminism is not about hating or discriminating men. Whoever told you this doesn't know what they are talking about. Screaming 'Girls to the Front' does not mean 'Guys to the Basement'. Putting the focus on girls, giving girls a platform, does not take away the voices of men. It just gives women a voice as well. And yes... it is true that we criticize some of the behavior that men have: men-splaining, men-spreading, harassment (obviously), misogyny (obviously), and whatever else. Because it makes us feel uncomfortable and belittled. And we are not little girls. We are women – real humans, with emotions and thoughts -- and we want to be seen as such. Don't see it as a personal attack, but if you feel addressed maybe that is food for thought?

What we do hate, is the Patriarchy. And here is why you should hate it too. The Patriarchy has brainwashed society into thinking that everything that is associated with femininity is less. Less important. Less trustworthy. Less. Girls need to be soft and submissive, or sexy and mysterious. Men need to be aggressive, need to drive cool cars, do sports, fuck beautiful women, game, play guitar, drink alcohol and what not. Men need to be manly. And if they are not, they are deemed unworthy or 'gay'. Do you remember your father (or your mother) telling you 'boys don't cry'? THAT'S THE PATRIARCHY. Lots of boys struggle with their emotions, because they never learned how to express them. Which means they miss an essential part of communication skills. This is why a lot of men end up frustrated and misunderstood. And yes, maybe they even take this frustration out on women. And then again, maybe they don't. There are lots of different men, and everybody handles their problems differently. That's why you should never assume that because something is not a problem to you, that the problem does not exist. That is for me an essential part of feminism.

The Patriarchy is at the root of so many things that I have a problem with. Monogamy for instance. Or heterosexuality. Body negativity. Or the wage gap. All these things are constructed so we would live – voluntary -- in a society that uses us. And for some, these claims might seem extreme, but I need you to tear away from your comfort zone for just a second, and really take a look at the world.

It's 2018. We are still at war. There is still poverty. We are still getting influenced by nationalist thoughts. Racism. Still. Exists. Women can not walk the streets at night and feel totally safe. I can still make a person disgusted because I grow my fucking armpit hair. In some countries you can get shot or raped because you are a boy who likes boys. And some people don't believe that you might identify as a gender that is different from your genitalia. Still... In 2018.

Ok, in most parts parts of the world women have the right to vote. But what for? Let's take the 2016 election for President of the United States. The democrats at least had the choice between Bernie and self proclaimed feminist Hilary Clinton, who was on the wrong side of the LGBTQ-marriage issue until 2013 and let's face it, if not for Bernie she would have been way more centered then she now was. In the Republican camp there was no one to represent the female vote. Oh sorry, that's a lie, Carly Fiorina was in the race until February. But let's be fair, we all know that she only got to run because they needed a female to stand up to any comment from Hilary about inequality. She never had a chance. And now, women in America might loose the right to their own body, because not a enough people at the top UNDERSTAND what it's like to be a woman. AND THEY DON'T CARE. They care about money. They care about preserving the power. They are the patriarchy. And as long as they exist, we will never have equal rights.

But a feminist cares about more then just rights for women. And yes often they are portrayed as white and successful... Yet let's keep in mind that it was black women who 'recently' saved Alabama from getting another republican senator. A true feminist, for me, is an open-minded person who sees everybody as equal. Whatever gender, sexuality or race you define as. A feminist should have your back. If we want control over our own bodies and minds. EVERYONE should have that control. A feminist who doesn't think the refugees are welcome here, is NOT a feminist.

Which brings us to the million dollar question 'why then call it feminism en not equalism?'

Very simple. Our issue still remains mainly focussed on putting femininity at the same level as masculinity. By which I mean WE WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT, WHENEVER WE WANT. Every minority should have their own platform, because for example: I as a white girl, can not speak about what it's like to be black. It's not my place to take the lead in a debate about racism. Will I help create and defend that platform if my help is needed? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTLY. But I know that you can best defend your own experiences. And as a woman that means: I don't want to be harassed on the street, I don't want to be treated as a sexual object rather then as a person over and over again. I want to be in control of my own body – whether that means being able to choose to not want to get pregnant. Or just not have to live up to the expectations of societies (impossible) beauty standards. I want tampons to be seen as something vital. I want to be able to choose my own career and make just as much money as the guy with the same job. I want slut shaming to stop. I want girls empowering girls instead of putting each other down with gossip and snide remarks. I want the law to condemn rape.  I want my stories represented in movies and shows and books. I want to be able to go to a punk concert by myself without being literately removed from the mosh-pit. Every. Time. I don't want to have to be ashamed of my emotional side. I want the right to be angry. I want the right to define myself with a name that corresponds to the issue that I care about the most. I want the right to call myself a feminist!

And if you can't understand that... If you are really bothered by the fact that we are naming ourselves after an issue that is affecting at least 50 percent of the word population. If you are really triggered by the fact that we get 1 day in the entire year that we are 'allowed' to stand up... I fear that all hope is lost. The patriarchy has you in it's claw...

I worked in a book store for some time and it broke my heart every time a mother refused to buy her son a Dora the explorer book, because it was 'for girls'. How we raise our children is an essential part in how we want the future to look. And god damn-it...  I don't want the next generation crying in the toilet because they felt so disappointed about the people surrounding them.

I am not asking you to scream 'I am a feminist' right away. All I want is for people to respect us, take us seriously and give us a shot. Talk to girls. No. Really. Talk to them. Lots of them. We are all different and beautiful in our own way, but still most of us have encountered the same issues. They are real. And we are not going to retire. We are not giving up, because someone says 'we're just making a fuss'. We will continue the fight. We will smash the patriarchy.