#I'm gonna make some pizza crust
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oh. ao3 is being DDoS'd.
welp
#jfc guys#what a boring and lame thing to do#ao3#anyway see you on ao3 when they fix it#lol I bet it's over ship drama#or purity culture#imagine being so ignorant that you'd be willing to disrupt an entire volunteer-run fandom archive over something like that#gotta stay weird my dudes#and ao3 is the fun kind of weird#and this right after hoopla and overdrive were banned in mississippi for anyone under 18#this is the shit moral fearmongering leads to#sigh#I'm too tired for this#I'm gonna make some pizza crust
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"Just sleeping and fucking all day," I AM DEAD!!! and i revived just to BEG you to expand on this please i just love them so much 😭
I'm so glad you liked it, Anon! I came up with something but I'm like 90% sure it's not what you were asking for - I aimed to write more smut and it turned into saccharine fluff somehow. I apologize. Rest assured that the next update for this fic is business as usual, very spicy and contains Carmy finally ******* ****** :)
Teach Me Tonight - Deleted Scene 2.0
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Deleted Scene] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] Deleted Scene: [Part 8]
Reader x Carmy Berzatto (The Bear FX)
Rating: Mature (1k)
Tags: Set sometime after the opening of The Bear, Smut, Virgin!Carmy, Fluff, Miscommunication, Domesticity
"Hey, baby," Carmy mumbled with a smile, rolling over in bed and looking at you with sleepy eyes.
You had padded into the room and leaned over to kiss his neck, waking him up from his third nap of the day. In between, you had fucked - slow and loving, then quick and hard, then a mix of both. You felt tired in the best way - and still somehow you wanted him. But you could wait.
"Shhh. I'm not here for another round," you soothed, moving a lock of hair out of his face. "Got us some pizza," you settled across from him, laying the box between you.
He sat up and ogled you shamelessly. You were wearing jeans and one of his shirts, your nipples showing through the white fabric.
"You're gonna be the death of me," he shook his head and focused on the slice of pizza you handed him instead.
"I mean," you gestured at him, his naked torso and satisfied smirk, "likewise, Carm."
You shared a hungry look while taking a bite of pepperoni. He broke first, looking up at the ceiling, away from you.
"How's it feel?" he asked.
"Mmm?" you nudged his leg with your foot.
"You come like two, three times when I can only do one and be just useless..." he blushed, curiosity tinting his skin. "I was just wondering what that was like, if all women were like that."
You smiled. Sometimes you forgot that he was a virgin before you.
"A lot of women can, uh, come multiple times," you explained. "If it's done properly, if you work for it," you cleared your throat. "Some women can't come at all."
"That sounds, uh-" Carmy struggled.
"Miserable?" you supplied and he nodded. "It can be. But sex isn't always about coming, you know? It's about being close and getting to know each other."
Carmy hummed pensively.
Just now, between one round and the next you had fallen asleep still intertwined, spent, his arms around your waist and his softening cock inside you. It was nice, to be so close with zero expectations of it going anywhere.
"What've you learned about me? With sex, I mean," he asked, his blue eyes wide.
"That you're giving, uh, determined, a fast learner," you pondered for a minute while you chewed. "A bit of a control freak but we knew that from before," he chuckled. "And you think you don't deserve good shit, even though you do."
"Pretty spot on," he let out a shaky breath.
You caressed his calf over the bedsheets. It felt strange to be talking about this but it had been a fucking weird day, and discussing orgasms with Carmy while eating pizza fit right in.
"You're a great fuck, Carm," you said softly. "And that takes patience and care and- I love that you want to make me feel good. I do," his gaze was downward and you reached for his hand. "I just don't want you to think you need to be perfect for me here too, you know? There's no pressure."
Carmy nodded and his eyes met yours, he gave you a soft smile.
"Thanks," he brushed your knuckles with his thumb. Then his smile turned mischievous. "Just to be sure, you do like coming though?" he looked for confirmation, head tilted.
"Yeah," you laughed. "Obviously, yeah," you poked at his side and reached for another slice of pizza. "I'm just saying there's no pressure, okay?"
"Okay," he took a big bite of crust. "You didn't answer my question from before," he prompted, raising his eyebrows. "How does it feel?"
"Uh. Well, you don't know how good it's going to be until you're coming. Sometimes it slows down, becomes softer. Or you get halfway through the next and get stuck there," you shrugged. "Sometimes it builds up, becomes more intense each time-"
"Like the last one?" he asked.
You blushed - the memory of him on top of you, his chain dangling near your mouth, his hands holding your wrists above your head, taking up all your thoughts. He had fucked you through your first orgasm until you saw stars and your moans turned into cries of pleasure.
"Exactly like that," you replied bashfully like it wasn't you that had begged him to keep going and fuck you harder.
"How many have you done?" Carmy asked after a while.
"Huh?"
"How many times you've come in a row?" he repeated, that calculating look back on his face. "What's the max?"
"I don't know, five?" you laughed nervously. "I think you're getting the wrong message from this, Carm."
"No, I know," he shook his head. "I was guessing we could start with all that 'no pressure' thing tomorrow. And I think I still have one more round left in me today, so..."
"What the fuck, Carm?" you giggled.
You covered your face with your hands, hiding how flustered you were.
"I'm serious," he said, amusement still showing in his tone. You finally uncovered your face and looked at him. He was smiling but he wasn't joking. "I don't know how to be calm," he explained. "I don't know how to fucking relax and be normal. I never have. Being with you- That's the closest I've come to that," he said softly. You cupped his face tenderly. "But sometimes it gets so crazy that the only thing I know I can do well is make you feel good. That's why I can be a control freak and competitive and insane..."
You shushed him.
"You're fine, baby," you caressed Carmy's shoulders, scooting closer to him. "I love that you're all those things. I just- You push yourself to the limit. You can hurt yourself trying to make everything perfect," your thumb traced the edge of the dark circles around his eyes - all from early mornings and late nights at The Bear. "I don't want to be that for you - another weight, another thing that needs to be perfect."
"You're not," he whispered. "You've never been that, okay?"
"Okay," you sighed and surged forward to kiss him, his face between your palms.
Even after the kiss was over you stayed there, your forehead on his, and your noses touching.
"So," you said after a while, "how about we finish this," you pointed at the pizza, "and watch a movie?"
You had learned that watching a movie with Carmy was shorthand for a nap on the couch since he was always so fucking tired.
He chuckled against your mouth.
"I think I can manage that," he replied, guiding you by the hand to the living room.
~
[Part 8]
~
@th3h0nkz @faephoria @wadupppp
#replies#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto fanfiction#carmen berzatto x you#carmy berzatto x you#carmy x you#carmy berzatto smut
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it was supposed to be a secret but we suck at secret keeping - jack hughes social media au
a/n: an anon requested a jack ig edit where you're cole caufield's little sister and you and jack start dating when you're at the beach house but you keep it a secret. eventually the boys realising you're spending so much time with jack that they start making joke instagram posts that you two are dating but little do they know they're right. so here it is :)
sorry for not having a cut but my pictures wouldn't load properly if i did
pairing: jack hughes x fem!reader
warnings: none i dont think
trevorzegras
Liked by @/ colecaufield, alexturcotte, jamie.drysdale and 80 569 others
trevorzegras - my best friends sister looking extra cozy with my other best friend
Tagged: @/ jackhughes & y/ncaufield
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colecaufield - not funny trev thats my little sister
↳ trevorzegras - i think its very funny
↳ colecaufield - i'll chop your dick off for posting this and if this ever becomes true i'll chop jack's dick off too
↳ trevorzegras - i'm very very sorry it's just a joke please don't chop off my dick
y/ncaufield - well isn't this just hilarious...
↳ jackhughes - its so funny...
↳ y/ncaufield - no it really is and no one understands
↳ trevorzegras - im glad some people enjoy my sense of humor *cough* cole *cough*
↳ colecaufield - im coming to find you right now trevor and i have some scissors
↳ trevorzegras - okay okay im actually very sorry please don't hurt me
alexturcotte
Liked by @/ trevorzegras, jackhughes, y/ncaufield and 65 937 others
alexturcotte - more pictures of y/n and jack...(please don't hurt me cole)
Tagged: @/ y/ncaufield & jackhughes
View Top Comments
colecaufield - this was a bad desicion on your part alex
↳ alexturcotte - oh shit, currently trying to find where trev is hiding from you so i can hide too
y/ncaufield - i looked so hot in that brown bikini and i was just trying to get a nice picture but jack had jump in too... so very rude of him
↳ jackhughes - i stole the show as always
↳ y/ncaufield - yeah you did you little thief
↳ jackhughes - and im the greatest thief ever i mean come on just look at me in that picture...and if we're being honest alex should've just cropped you right out and left just me
↳ y/ncaufield - you are the most insufferable person in the world and my brother is cole caufield so that saying a lot
↳ jackhughes - its okay for you to say that i know you could never really understand my true beauty
_quinnhughes - they're cute
↳ colecaufield - quinn... not you too
lhughes_06
Liked by @/ nicohischier, _quinnhughes, colecaufield and 78 325 others
lhughes_06 - had to add my own pictures since we're doing this
Tagging: @/ jackhughes & y/ncaufield
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colecaufield - i like you luke so i'll let this slide just this once since i know its a joke
↳ trevorzegras - are you saying that you like him more than me and alex??
↳ colecaufield - yes
↳ alexturcotte - jack im so offended
y/ncaufield - if i'd have known how bad at cooking jack was i never would've let him near the stove
↳ jackhughes - don't be a drama queen im not that bad at cooking
↳ y/ncaufield - i mean sure if you like it when the crust of your pizza is so charred that it's fully black and it crumbles into tiny pieces the second you pick it up
trevorzegras - look at me i'm a trend setter
↳ lhughes_06 - you could say that
jackhughes
Liked by @/ trevorzegras, lhughes_06, y/ncaufield and 145 908 others
jackhughes - didn't really have many pictures of me and y/n (that i could post) so just enjoy my appreciation post for her
Tagged: @/ y/ncaufield
View Top Comments
yourbestfriend - hottest caufield sibling not gonna lie
↳ jackhughes - i know right??
↳ y/ncaufield - ...
↳ colecaufield - firstly wrong but secondly JACK WHAT
trevorzegras - y/n > cole
↳ alexturcotte - y/n > cole
↳ colecaufield - cole > y/n
↳ jackhughes - nope the right answer is y/n > cole
colecaufield - jach hughes what the hell do you mean by pictures that you can post... what kind of pictures of my sister do you have??
↳ jackhughes - well um you know
↳ colecaufield - no i really don't please share
↳ jackhughes - i'm just gonna not answer this okay
↳ colecaufield - no actually not okay
y/ncaufield - in my lake house summer era and i love it
y/ncaufield
Liked by @/ jackhughes, colecaufield, trevorzegras and 193 857 others
y/ncaufield - and you all thought it was a joke this whole time (cole please don't come for jack)
Tagged: @/ jackhughes
View Top Comments
jackhughes - my one and only my life line
↳ y/ncaufield - can i go where you go, can we always be this close
↳ jackhughes - forever & always
colecaufield - oh hell no
↳ y/ncaufield - you know i love the brothers best friend trope
↳ colecaufield - didn't know you loved it this much
↳ y/ncaufield - what can i say i guess i do
trevorzegras - I KNEW MY SPIDEY 'S SENSE WERE RIGHT
↳ y/ncaufield - congrats buddy
colecaufield - wait...who took all those pictures for you
↳ y/ncaufield - quinn :)
↳ colecaufield - why the fuck did quinn know before me also it suddenly makes so much sense why you and quinn and jack were going on so many boat rides together
↳ y/ncaufield - he caught me sneaking out of jack's room one morning so he's know for a while
↳ colecaufield - WHY WERE YOU IN JACK'S ROOM OH NO ME AND JACK ARE AT WAR
↳ y/ncaufield - i will always be yours if we survive the great war
↳ jackhughes - your brother is scary i'm not sure i will
thanks for reading🫶requests are always open for fics, blurbs, ig edits and just thoughts!!
taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues @corneliaskates @imma-mirrorball @hvghes @emptyflowerpots @h0e4fictionalme-n
join my taglist
#jack hughes#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes imagine#nhl imagine#fake ig edit#social media au#hockey#nhl#x reader#trevor zegras#cole caufield#alex turcotte#luke hughes#quinn hughes#claire tries writing <3
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I think if we meet aliens the technological exchange is gonna have us both smacking our foreheads going ohhhhhhh. Like they look into a ring doorbell and realize its a camera connected to a computer system and theyre like, yknow we have cameras too but we just never got around to digitizng them. Like all our portable cameras are just big black boxes with a pin prick in them that you wheel around on a briefcase when youre out and about. And well be like, ha, well I'm glad you found out about this! Then theyll pull out like a woodfire pizza oven and say some shit like if you put the pizza on a spinning platform in the middle itll create windflow that makes the crust crispy as fuck and cooks the pizza in no time. And we'll be like, damn it
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Gehenna's First Ever Cook-Off! The Finals! (Part 4)
—
LTD!MC : Hello everyone and welcome back to our cook-off! This will be our finals as our contestants will be cooking dinner for our two judges, everyone, brace yourselves as this cook-off gets pretty tense! Who will be the champion of this cook-off? We shall find out as the cook-off begins once again! Starting now!
—
Team Solomon :
OM!Solomon : Looks delicious as usual :D *Cooking pot is literally steaming black smoke.*
WHB!Solomon : :o looks appetizing :3
OM!Solomon : Thank you, and now it's done! <D
WHB!Solomon : Yay! :] I'll go get a plate :D
*Dish definitely looks... delicious! Totally doesn't look like a frozen soup but the soup is a black substance with octopus legs and chicken feet sticking out of it!*
OM!Solomon : It looks very nice :D I'll just add a pinch of salt and put it in the oven for 10 minutes :3
—
Team Cats and Tea :
*WHB!Satan and OM!Satan is arguing about who will be baking a strawberry pie, Sitri is just doing his own thing, focusing because he wants to win, obviously.*
WHB!Satan : Give me that whisk, NOW.
OM!Satan : There is no fucking way in hell I'm giving this to YOU.
WHB!Satan : As if you can even make a perfect strawberry pie.
OM!Satan : Pfft, hahaha! You're saying that as if you can do that as well, you can't even make a fucking pancake!
WHB!Satan : What the fuck did you just say?!
OM!Satan : I said that you can't even make a fucking pancake, are you fucking deaf or what?!
WHB!Satan : Grr... *crunches teeth as he tackles OM!Satan, they just continue to argue while Sitri just cooks curry, not even giving a shit because all that he cares about is winning, he totally wasn't giving glares at Minhyeok for a moment and then focusing back onto his cooking after that! totally!*
—
Team Best friends :
Minhyeok : Hm, seems that the soup is now ready, Ppyong, I'll help you cook the chicken.
Ppyong : Alright, aye!
Minhyeok : There, while we wait for the chicken to cook, we'll make cherry and pumpkin pie, some iced tea would probably go with it as well, I'll think about that later, but for now, let's make cherry pie first.
Ppyong : Sure, aye! :D
—
Team Mammon :
OM!Mammon : ...Gold, again..? Really?
WHB!Mammon : Yes, except it's cupcakes and ice cream :D
OM!Mammon : Alright but, uh... can we at least cook somethin' that doesn't involve gold...?
WHB!Mammon : Sure :D
OM!Mammon : Alrighty! I'll cook noodles!
WHB!Mammon : Okay :3
—
Team Envy :
OM!Leviathan : ..You've been doing this for 6 hours now...
WHB!Leviathan : *Literally just glaring at him.*
OM!Leviathan : ...I'm making pizza.. can you please at least help...?
WHB!Leviathan : ...Fine.
OM!Leviathan : Finally...
—
LTD!MC : Times up! Contestants, please present your dish.
Sitri : Here you go.
LTD!MC : ...Uh, what the hell happened to those two?
Sitri : They kept on arguing, and both of them ended up getting covered in patches.
LTD!MC : ...Oh, uh, well then, let's move on!
WHB!MC : Pretty good honestly, the curry kind of lacks a little flavor but still good.
OM!MC : As for the pumpkin pie, the taste is... something else, at least it isn't on Solomon's level...
LTD!MC : Alright judges, what would you rate this dish?
WHB!MC : We're gonna give it an 8
LTD!MC : Great, that brings to the total of 22. next contestants, please.
—
Minhyeok : We both got pretty tired making the pie crust, but it's worth it, here you guys go ^^
WHB!MC : Another full-course meal, I love my wife so much.
OM!MC : My taste buds got cured after tasting Minhyeok's pumpkin pie. *Nom.*
LTD!MC : ...Judges, what would you rate this full-course meal?
WHB!MC : 10, obviously.
LTD!MC : Great, that brings to the total of 25, next contestants please.
—
OM!Solomon : Here's our dish :D *Octopus arm is literally sticking out of the soup.*
WHB!MC : I wasn't prepared for this moment.
OM!MC : ... *Faints.*
WHB!MC : Nope, I'm definitely not gonna eat this.
LTD!MC : ...Alright, judges, what would you rate this.. dish..?
WHB!MC : I don't want to make both of them sad so we're gonna give them an 8.
LTD!MC : Alright, that gives them to the total of 16, Next contestants, please. (Note : they got 16 because in part 2, they got an 8 as well, I just forgot to write it because part 3.2 was rushed)
—
WHB!Mammon : Here :D
OM!MC : Gold Ice Cream is yummy, honestly. As for the curry, it lacks some flavor, but it's okay.
OM!Mammon : Hell yeah! I knew ya would like my cookin'!
WHB!MC : *Lick lick.* Delicious, would eat again honestly.
LTD!MC : Alright judges, what would you rate this dish?
WHB!MC : A 9/10.
LTD!MC : Great, that brings to the total of 18, last contestants, please present your dish.
—
WHB!Leviathan : Here.
OM!MC : Mm, tastes really good honestly, but not Minhyeok level, still, it's good.
WHB!MC : I want another slice. *Nom.*
LTD!MC : Alright judges, what would you rate this dish?
WHB!MC : A 10/10. *Nom.*
LTD!MC : Great! That brings to the total of 19, Team Best friends are the winners!
Ppyong : Uwahhh!!! I'm so so happy!!
Minhyeok : Me too, even though I wasn't expecting this, I'm still happy about this ^^
Sitri : WHY YOU— *Got so mad that he started running up to Minhyeok, Satan followed because he also got jealous.*
Minhyeok : E-eh?! What did I do wrong?! *Starts running away.*
LTD!MC : ...Well then, before our cook-off finishes, let us receive messages from our guests one last time!
—
TWST!Yuu : HELL YEAH MINHYEOK WON WOOHOO
Malleus : I'd say that his cooking does look flavorsome and appetizing, Child of Man, would you like me to cook something for you as well?
TWST!Yuu : Awww, sure! Why not?
Malleus : Thank you Child of Man, we'll do it later, I'll walk you to Diasomnia once I ease up.
MM!MC : I knew it, Minhyeok was going to win.
WHB!Beelzebub : The two got way too jealous of him! Hahahaha!
Bael : Now that the cook-off is finished, are you gonna go to work now?
WHB!Beelzebub : Aww man, c'mon now... I still wanna wander around!
Bael : ..You've already left your post for a week now.
WHB!Beelzebub : ...Fine..
LTD!MC : Aaaand that is all for our cook-off! Thanks to the guests for coming here to watch this spectacular Cook-Off! Who knows? Maybe we'll host another one? But once again, thank you everyone for enjoying our Cook-off! I am your host, and goodbye! See y'all soon!
—
Note : WOOHOO I AM FINALLY FINISHED BABY, I might make another one but with the Tartaros demons, so stay tuned :3 It won't be posted here though, It'll be posted on my account @luochaarchivist because I'm abandoning this account, just go follow me there if y'all want to :3
Anyways gonna go tag moot @takitafulily
#prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#what in hell is bad#disney twisted wonderland#mc obey me#obey me mc#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#twisted wonderland#twst yuu#what in hell is bad satan#what in “hell” is bad? mammon#what in “hell” is bad?#whb beelzebub#whb minhyeok#mystic messenger mc#lovetodo mc#lovetodo#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me mammon#mammon obey me#whb ppyong#whb sitri#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb mc#whb#twisted wonderland malleus#twst
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And We'll Keep Marching On Chapter 6 - Questions and Answers
AO3 Link
We're doing a double feature this week because I may or may not be able to post next week. (I'm gonna be out of town and idk for sure if I'll have wi fi to upload)
------------------------------
April wasn’t sure how to feel about Raven.
She doubted Raven was a spy for the Kraang, the farmhouse would’ve been swarmed by now if she was. But she was definitely hiding something.
And the fact she still couldn’t get a proper read on her didn’t help April’s option.
The brain wave stuff was difficult to describe to people but she felt pretty confident in what she’d told Donnie. If she tried to get a look into Raven’s mind, it was like a physical wall blocked her out and she could only pull out basic feelings.
Of course, she learned plenty from Mikey. The turtle was very persistent in telling everyone every little thing he learned about the pair of strangers.
Raven liked the woods and watching animals, she liked making little bobbles with sticks and wire and leaves. She liked talking about Scrap, about how she’d coded his programming herself, Mikey had mentioned that she’d started to sound like Donnie when they went down that rabbit hole and that he hadn’t understood a word but Scrap was cool, so she must have done a good job.
But, whether Mikey didn’t ask or Raven didn’t tell, no mention of where she’d come from outside of ‘Kraang prison’ had ever been mentioned.
Another thing that bugged April was the selected obliviousness. Raven was clearly not dumb but sometimes Mikey would mention something universally known, like the celebrity gossip before the invasion, or texting or social internet forms, and Raven would get this blank expression like she couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. Not to mention the weird names she’d give some things.
The other day, Mikey had asked how long it had been since the house had been used and April had said she hadn’t been there since she was ten. And Raven had said that the transparisteel in the viewport held up very well.
What was wrong with just saying window? Why the hell hadn’t she just said she was surprised the windows hadn’t been smashed at some point?
So, yeah, April thought she was suspicious and the fact she couldn’t get into her head wasn’t helping.
So she watched, waiting for a moment where she could get past that mental wall and find some good information.
Currently, that meant pretending to browse the internet at the kitchen table while Mikey showed Raven how he made pizza.
Both Raven and Scrap watched with way too much determined focus as Mikey showed off his abilities, throwing his dough higher and higher as he explained that you had to throw the crust to make it airy and tasty.
April bit her cheek to keep herself from correcting him and say throwing the dough was just flair. She didn’t want to call attention to herself. She was hoping that, with her attention focused on Mikey, Raven would have less attention focused on her mental wall.
April watched, smirking to herself a bit when Mikey handed over a second ball of dough and Raven started to try and copy the toss and spin, eyes pinched in concentration, focus completely on mastering the art of pizza tossing.
Which meant her focus wouldn’t be on keeping April out.
Her hands paused on the keyboard, one lifting out of habit towards Raven. She pushed carefully, slowly letting her mind flow out of her body and towards her target.
The walls were still there, April could feel them the moment she connected to Raven’s mind. But they weren’t as solid and unyielding as they had been the last few times she’d tried. They wavered as April pushed further, attempting to keep her out but doing little to stop her from diving deeper.
She could feel joy, the emotion accompanied by a dozen snaps of memories. Most featured Mikey, smiling brightly and gesturing ecstatically. There were images of grass and trees, warm sun beams on the porch, small creatures scampering in underbrush. But she also felt…sadness. A longing sadness for something that was missing…no, someone that was missing. A lot of someone’s.
April focused harder, pushed in further, trying to mentally grab hold of the flickering silhouettes that accompanied the sadness. One stood out, someone who towered over Raven, form bulky and powerful, a flash of gleaming, black armor-
Big, warm green eyes-
The figure lit up suddenly, a loud crackle of electricity echoing through April’s mind-
And she was suddenly ripped violently out of the trance.
No, not ripped. Pushed.
She could feel the walls solidifying, forming around Raven’s mind again, shoving April out.
She slammed back into her own mind with a gasp, head spinning and vision blurry. She could hear Mikey talking in a panicked tone and Scrap was beeping loudly.
When her vision cleared, she looked up to see Mikey standing in front of Raven, hands hovering around her shoulders, pizza dough left forgotten on the counter. Scrap was still perched on Raven’s shoulders, little ears flapping like mad as he beeped frantically.
Raven herself was leaning on the counter, one hand pressed to her head, teeth gritted together and eyes tightly shut, hard tremors wracking through her violently enough that April could see each tremble.
Guilt crept in. April had thought she was being careful but if she’d accidentally pushed too far and hurt Raven-
Hazel eyes opened and turned right to April.
And April was so used to Raven being passive, almost timid in her interactions. Eyes always guarded and wary but still holding a soft gaze.
Now? Now they were enraged. April shrank back in her chair as Raven straightened up to her full height. She brushed Mikey’s hands away, reached up on hand to soothe Scrap, then turned shapely, boots thunking loudly as she marched over to the table.
April swallowed hard, suddenly feeling very small under Raven’s glare. Someone younger than her should not be able to nail that disappointed teacher look so well.
Raven inhaled loudly and her shoulders squared, spine straightening, hands folding behind her back…April couldn’t help but think of the old war movies she’d had to watch for history class, of the General glaring down at the rookie protagonist and mulling over what to say.
“I think I’ve been very cooperative over the last two weeks,” Raven ground out, clearly trying very hard to keep her voice calm. “So I don’t see why you felt the need to go digging into my mind.”
“Wait, you did what?” Mikey said.
And that finally snapped April out of the shocked and slightly terrified stupor, the feelings quickly replaced by frustration and anger.
Raven was not in control here. She was a stranger who broke into April’s house! She would not be backed into a corner by her!
She stood up, glaring at Raven as she slapped her hands on the table, “Well what else am I supposed to do? The fact you can just block me out is pretty freaky already and we can’t know if anything you say is the truth if you’re blocking me out all the time!”
“She’s not lying about anything,” Mikey piped in meekly.
“But how can we know that?” April argued back. “She hasn’t even told us anything about where she came from other than the Kraang had her!”
“Have you tried asking?” Raven grounded out between her teeth. “You know, like a normal person? Do you know the kinda trouble you’d get into if any shabbing Jedi were here? Hells, a general Force-user would probably have a few choice words too!”
“And that’s another thing!” April pointed, eyes narrowing as she jabbed her finger at Raven’s face. “You keep saying all this crazy stuff like they’re everyday things! No one knows what a freaking Jedi is! Or a holoprojector, or transparisteel, or a Force-user!”
“You’re a Force-user!” Raven countered.
“I’m a Teleapath!”
“Guys,” Mikey tried again. “Guys, please don’t fight.”
April barely heard him and the whisper she did hear made her angrier. She loved Mikey like an annoying little brother, but they couldn’t entertain his naivety anymore.
She needed answers and she was getting them.
“You have two choices here,” April crossed her arms and tipped her chin up. “You let me see if you’re really being honest with us, or I tell Donnie and Raph that it’s too dangerous to let you leave the house.”
“April,” Mikey whined.
Raven, for her part, didn’t reply immediately. She still looked angry and April’s threat didn’t seem to do much other than make her eyes narrow. The two girls glared at each other, while Mikey’s eyes flicked helplessly between them.
Until, finally, Raven sighed. It was an angry sigh, exhaled through her teeth but her soldiers dropped a little on the exhale, “Like I said, you just had to ask.”
“I just said-!”
“If you asked,” Raven plowed on, raising her voice again. “I would have let my shields down so you could tell whether or not I’m lying about anything. Excuse me for keeping my guard up when none of you have given me a reason to relax except for him.” She gestured to Mikey at the end of the statement.
And April paused at that because…there was no way it was that simple.
“Just like that,” she asked. “I just…ask you to open up and that's it?”
Raven shrugged, “You’re kids hiding in the woods from the Kraang and my best chance of getting home is to stay here until you either move on or decide to let me go. And I have no reason to keep secrets.”
April crossed her arms and glared, “And you never mentioned anything before because-?”
“You didn’t ask.”
“What is with you and-”
“Hey, this is great!” Mikey interrupted loudly. “We’re bonding, learning! Having a great time!”
April frowned, still unsure.
But…if asking was really all Raven wanted…
April pulled out her T-Phone, sending out a very quick group text that simply said ‘team meeting now’.
She cringed when Mikey’s phone loudly announced the message and shot him a look when he unabashedly showed the message to Raven.
But their phones pinged again, this time from Raph texting ‘meet in leos room’.
“I dunno if we’ll all fit there,” Mikey commented absently.
Raven sighed again, anger finally starting to leave her expression, “Doubt he wants to leave Leonardo’s side.”
That was obvious to everyone, April thought.
The T-Phones were still buzzing with replies but she put it away, jerking her head towards the stairs. Raven frowned at her and gestured to the mess still on the counter, “I’m going to help Mikey clean. It will give you time to debrief.”
April felt the anger bubbling again and she opened her mouth to insist Raven come with her upstairs right that second. But she had already turned away from April and Scrap’s antennas were shivering as he ‘glared’ at April.
She heaved a sigh and stomped up the stairs.
She almost slammed the bedroom door open too, but caught herself. They discovered via Casey’s tendency to kick doors open, that loud bangs would set Leo off either hissing and growling or whimpering and trying to hide. Raph had quickly imposed the rule that they had to knock and enter carefully when they came to Leo’s room.
So she gave a courtesy tap at the door and peeked in.
Leo was sleeping…on Raph.
Raph was on the bed, leaning against the headboard, with Leo snoozing away in his lap.
For a moment, the reason she was there fled her mind and, quick as a whip, her phone was out and snapping a picture.
Raph’s eyes narrowed when the click sounded, hand moving to rub Leo’s shell, “Why do we need to meet?”
Oh, right. April cleared her throat and moved to the stool Raph usually occupied, “So…Raven agreed to let me in to see if she’s telling the truth to any questions we ask.”
Raph blinked, “Seriously? That simple?”
April shrugged, “I guess we’ll find out.”
Raph hummed, adjusting slightly and letting out a low rumble when Leo twitched at the movement.
April listened while they waited. It was…odd, to hear such animalistic sounds coming from the guys. She’d heard Mikey make a few here and there but they had been nothing but squeaks. And sure, when the guys growled under their breath it didn’t quite sound like a human would. But the churring, chirping, hissing and even something that she’d describe as a low bellow from Leo, those were new. She hadn’t even known they could make sounds like that.
She didn’t have a problem, the guys were mutants after all. It was just…weird.
Footsteps slowly thumped up the stairs, announcing Donnie and Casey.
“So, why are we having a meeting?” Casey asked as he entered and leaned against the wall. “It got anything to do with why the little murder bot was growling at us?”
“It wasn’t growling,” Donnie muttered as he sat on the bed and checked over Leo’s brace.
“Sounded like growling,” Casey shot back.
“Raven agreed to answer questions we may have,” April explained.
“For real?” Casey grinned. “About time we got some real answers from her.”
“It’s not like we asked anything,” Raph grumbled. “‘Less you’ve been bugging her.”
“Man, last time I tried, she sicked her murder-bot on me.”
“Did she sick it on you or did you poke it?”
“He seems to be pretty self-anatomic,” Donnie pointed out. “He’s ignored commands from Raven quite a few times.”
“It’s a robot,” Casey argued. “Just ‘casue it's a really advanced one doesn’t mean it’s alive or something.”
Donnie inhaled, probably gearing up to argue that a robot could be self-aware.
But a loud beep sounded from the hall, shortly followed by Mikey, Raven and the ‘murder-bot’.
Mikey still looked upset, face pinched like he’d eaten something sour. Raven had clearly calmed down, the neutral expression back on her face while Scrap skittered back and forth across her shoulders, quietly beeping like he was muttering angrily under his metaphorical breath.
She stopped in the middle of the room, gaze scanning over everyone before she stopped facing April, “As we agreed. Any question, no shields. I am extending that to everyone here.”
“Genorious,” Casey commented dryly.
Raven settled on the floor, sitting cross-legged, “I have nothing to hide and if this is what it takes for her to stop trying to pry into my mind, I’ll do it.”
“Wait, you’ve been what?” Raph asked.
“What?” April raised her hand defensively. “What else was I supposed to do?”
“Dude, were you not listening before?” Mikey grumbled.
April went to defend herself again but Raven interrupted, “We’ve agreed to terms. She doesn’t pry anymore as long as I tell you all what you want to know. So, shall we start the proverbial interrogation?”
All eyes turned to April, all asking the same question.
April shut her eyes, reaching out with her mind again. And sure enough, the wall that had been blocking her before was nowhere to be seen. Now she felt Raven’s mind, flitting images, bits of sound, words and voices April couldn’t quite make out-
She decided to test how much she had access to, “Were you held being held prisoner by the Kraang?”
“Yes,” Raven replied immediately. “I don’t know for how long, however. There weren’t any indicators for the day/night cycles.”
As she spoke, images flashed through Raven’s mind and, by proxy, into April. Silvery, cold walls, Kraang zipping around on little hovercrafts, a pink sky with a massive eyeball in place of a sun or moon.
Raven was telling the truth so far.
So she tried another easy one, “So how did you get here?”
“Something was happening, something big,” Raven said. “I assume it was connected to the invasion of New York that you escaped from. The majority of the guards left the facility. Scrap had been hiding since my capture, waiting for a chance to help me escape.”
More flashes, of long, empty hallways, of Scrap jumping onto control consoles, of Raven’s hands wrestling a gun away from a Kraang droid, Raven’s fingers fumbling with a small, shiny device that glowed pink before breaking apart, three pieces expanding into a portal. Then trees in every direction, grass under trembling legs.
Another truth and April had full view of everything.
She nodded slowly, a silent signal to the rest of the team.
Donnie jumped to speak first, “Did you manage to snag any intel when you escaped? About the invasion? Battle plans? A timeline for the terraforming of Earth.”
“Not anything that specific, I’m afraid,” Raven said. “Scrap was hacking in where he could but digging too deep ran the risk of the Kraang finding him. Most of what he has is access codes and basic information on patrol patterns in the prison.”
More flashes enter April’s mind, of Scrap, sitting in front of Raven, a transparent blue screen in front of him, odd symbols scrolling down it-
Casey's voice cut the memories off, “How’ve you been blocking out Red? You got a metal plate in your skull?”
“No,” Raven huffed. “I can shield my mind. Thought shielding, or mental shielding, is standard training from Jedi Generals after clones join a battalion to protect against Force-sensitives.”
An image of an alien flitted by, one with blue fur and skin, flat horns that looked like cat ears, robes made from soft browns and creams.
“Okay, those things she’s saying can’t be the truth,” Casey huffed. “You’re talking like you were in a military or something. Last time I checked, no one is recruiting fifteen-year-olds into the army, let alone whatever a ‘Jedi’ or ‘force-sensitive’ is.”
“She…is telling the truth,” April frowned. “But Casey has a point. How could you have been in the military?”
Raven hesitated then, hand edging up to pet along Scrap’s chassis, “I am fifteen…chronologically.”
“Chron….of course you’re fifteen chronologically,” Donnie huffed. “Everyone ages chronologically.”
“But, until shortly before my escape, I was biologically thirty.”
The room fell into shocked silence.
April shut her eyes, reaching out to try and find any lie in the statement, a seed of deception in any place. But the words were accompanied by more images of Raven, a much older Raven, staring in a mirror, the reflection in lakes, her image on gleaming metal. The lines on her face were harder, gray flecked her temples, and dark circles marred her eyes-
“No way,” April muttered.
“Wait, what!?” Donnie was off the bed, moving to crouch in front of Raven. “You- how- you have- you’re THIRTY?!”
“Donnie,” Raph hissed out.
Everyone froze, all suddenly remembering where they had convinced for this meeting.
April glanced down at Leo, whose beak had scrunched up in displeasure at the shout. Raph was quick to comfort, rubbing his palm up and down Leo’s shell and letting out a long string of chirps.
There was a collective sigh of relief when Leo relaxed again.
And when the attention went back to Raven, she sighed, “I can guess you’re next few questions so I might as well explain in full. I am not a natural-born human, I’m a clone of a Mandalorian, created on a planet called Kamino. The Clones were created to be the perfect soldiers for the Grand Army of the Republic and, to fully achieve that, the Kaminoans modified our genetics to improve strength, speed, reflexes and to accelerate our aging. The aging part was implemented so we could fully develop and be deployed as quickly as possible.”
The explanation was accompanied by images of white walls, windows showing nothing but an ocean and rain, aliens with thin frames, long necks and huge, solid black eyes. And an endless sea of humans with tan skin and dark hair exactly like Raven’s.
There was an almost uncanny quality to the memories and they made a shiver run down April’s spine.
“Waaaait a second,” Mikey sat up, frowning in deep thought. “Does that mean…you’re an alien?”
“I…guess.”
“You guess?” Casey scoffed. “Dude, you’re totally an alien, which I totally called!”
“Keep it down or you’re all getting booted out,” Raph huffed. “Why does that matter anyway? She hasn’t done anything.”
“Wha- are you serious?” Casey waved a hand towards Raven. “She’s been an alien this whole time and didn’t say anything.”
“Well, for one, interplanetary travels makes terms like ‘alien’ pretty moot,” Raven said. “And second, no one asked before today.”
“Seriously?” Casey grumbled.
“Oh my god,” April gasped when a realization hit her. “That’s why you suggested we take Leo to a hospital, you thought the guys were just another race on this planet.”
“They are a race on this planet,” Raven countered. “I assumed terrapin sentients were commonplace here, since you all seem to be cohabitating fairly well. But my conversations with Mikey have taught me that Earth’s human population is…behind a curve when it comes to non-humans.”
“Hey, I’m not behind a curve,” Casey snapped. “I’m ahead of it! By miles!”
“Shh,” Donnie flapped a hand at Casey and he leaned into Raven’s space. “I would very much like to know more about this planet where clone armies of super soldiers are made.”
“One army,” Raven corrected. “Technically, cloneing is illegal but…the Republic made an exception…”
April frowned when the next flash in Raven’s mind was more of a feeling than of memories, confusion and deep thought twisting around each other as her statement trailed off.
“How does that work?” Raph grumbled. “It’s illegal to clone people unless you need an army?”
“I never…thought about it…” Raven muttered. “Why didn’t we ever think about it?”
“Is that why you said you were an ARC?” Mikey asked. “Is that a clone thing?”
The question seemed to snap Raven out of her spiral. April felt the moment her thoughts shifted, smiling faces flitting through her mind before she answered.
“ARC is a rank, it stands for Advanced Recon Commando. ARCs are an elite class of troopers, largely considered to be the best of their battalions.”
“And you were one of those?” Raph asked. “The best of the best?”
“No, that would have been Jay,” Raven corrected. “He’s the battalion commander. I was…the most recent addition to Corvid Squad.”
“Ha! Worst of the best then!” Casey cackled.
Scrap, who had been largely still at quiet, sat up at the comment, a low, angry whirr emanating from the bot as he glared at Casey.
“Hush,” Raven chastised before turning to Casey. “I may be the youngest ARC among my squad but I am still an ARC, such a rank is a high honor that is not passed out lightly. I know my worth and I am a damn good soldier who served my General well and I would like it if you did not try to undermine my accomplishments under her command.”
Casey blinked, mouth opening and closing like a fish.
Mikey giggled, stage whispering, “Duuude, she just humbled you.”
“Whatever,” Casey huffed. “I still say she’s making all of this up to mess with us. If the Kraang had a way to ‘de-age’ people, they would’a sicked it on the guys by now.”
“Unlessss,” Donnie frowned, fingers steeping and moving up to tap at his chin. “They were trying to reverse engineer the part of Raven’s genetic code responsible for accelerating her age.”
“...making me match my chronological age somehow helps them figure out what made me age fast?” Raven asked.
“Yes,” Donnie nodded. “How else would they test if they did it correctly?”
“Dude, you’re going mad scientist again,” Mikey commented dryly.
“So to sum up,” Raph interrupted, drawing the room's attention. “You're an alien clone super soldier who’s in an army of other clone super soldiers and, somehow, the Kraang made you go from thirty to fifteen.”
Raven hummed, “That is one way to put it, yeah.”
“Are you sure she’s telling the truth Red?” Casey asked again.
April shot him a glare.
“Okay,” Raph plowed on, glancing down at Leo. “Raven…can you give us the room for a second?”
April turned to Raph, fully dropping her connection to Raven to give him a questioning look. Her sentiment was clearly reflected by all present, including Raven. But she nodded, slowly rising from the floor and stepping around everyone to go into the hallway.
“Don’t go far,” Raph called right before the door clicked shut.
“Why’d you send her out?” Donnie asked as he climbed back on the bed.
“Because…she said something that we need to discuss.”
“Which part?” Casey snarked. “The alien bit? The technically being thirty? The whole test tube baby thing?”
“Casey,” April chastised.
“When we got here, she wanted to signal a team,” Raph ignored Casey, focusing fully on Donnie and Mikey. “And it turns out that ‘team’ is an army from another planet.”
“Whaaaaat are we getting at Raph?” Mikey asked, shimming in next to Donnie.
Raph hesitated, biting his lip, and April was pretty sure she didn’t need powers to sense that he was nervous about what he wanted to say.
“Armies have…medics.”
Oh. It clicked for April.
And for everyone else.
“Are you-” Casey started to raise his voice but a sharp look from three turtles had him lowering it. “You want to call down more aliens to our hideout? Are you nuts?”
“Look,” Raph sighed. “Look, I know we’re doing what we can and Leo’s on the mend now but…” he trailed off, looking at Donnie.
A heavy sigh heaved out of Donnie, shoulders slumping on the exhale, “While there is a chance that Leo can recover without surgical intervention…the risk is much higher that the damage will be permanent and debilitating to his quality of life. Especially if he starts trying to use that knee too soon.”
“What?” Mikey squeaked. “But…but he has to get better! He’s Leo!”
“Which is why I think we should let Raven call up her team,” Raph’s voice was firmer now, almost as firm as Leo’s ‘leader voice’. “April’s confirmed that everything she told us was the truth. She’s on our side, so this Republic army she’s in is also on our side.”
“Except for the fact that she could block out April,” Casey hissed out. “Why wouldn’t she be able to make Red think she was telling the truth?”
“You can’t fake memories,” April argued. “Made-up stuff always looks weird. Everything she said had memories along with it.”
“She’s a super soldier that came outta a test tube,” Casey argued. “We don’t know what she can and can’t do.”
“But if that little robot is any indicator,” Raph said. “Her people are advanced. And she assumed we were just another group of people who lived…normal lives.”
“But-”
“She’s not gonna hurt us,” Mikey argued. “Or call someone who’ll hurt us!”
“And if we’re wrong?” Casey asked.
The question was answered with a heavy silence, the entire group sharing looks.
Because on the one hand, the team Raven wanted to contact might have medical supplies and no hangups about helping them. Leo would get better, wouldn’t have to deal with the possibility of permanent damage or the risk of never walking unassisted again.
But there was a chance that this could go sideways. They didn’t have a great track record with aliens and…Casey did have a point, that Raven could have abilities that tricked April’s powers.
The quiet compilation was broken by a small chirp.
April looked over to see Leo’s eyes were open and staring up at Raph. There was still an almost haze to them, there had been since he woke up. But his gaze wasn’t drifting all over the room like it usually did. He wasn’t hissing at the humans standing too close or growling until one of his brothers made a turtle sound to calm him down.
He was staring up at Raph, eyes wide as he let out another soft, raspy chirp. One of Leo’s hands lifted, shaking limb weakly grasping at Raph’s arm.
Raph breathed out, long and shaky as he dipped his head, pressing his forehead to Leo’s and letting out an answering chirp.
And Leo smiled and April stared because she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen such a bright, genuine smile on Leo’s face.
Donnie and Mikey leaned closer, Mikey even letting out a little chirp while Donnie breathed a soft, “Leo?”
But it seemed the action of holding Raph’s arm had tuckered him out, because Leo’s head lolled and his eyes closed, a soft trill slipping out as he clung to Raph’s arm.
Raph sighed again, free hand coming up to wipe at his eyes before he turned back to the room, “We’ll put it to a vote. Either we just keep on with what we’ve been doing, or we let Raven call in her people.”
April nodded along with the others.
“Call in the alien army,” Raph raised a hand.
April quickly put up hers and she was followed by Mikey.
Her brow jumped when she noticed Donnie didn’t also raise his hand.
But even with Donnie seeming to be on Casey’s side, the majority had spoken.
Raph nodded, looking to Mikey, “Tell your buddy to call in her army.”
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HI !!!!!
give me your headcanons or else 👁️👁️
Hey there! Headcanons, huh?
Well, I guess I'll share my Splatoon headcanons.
I headcanon the sax and trombone player from Yoko and The Gold Bazookas to be in a romantic/intimate relationship. i literally came up with this before falling asleep. im serious.
This one is pretty common, but I ship Pearl and Marina together and headcanon them to be married since the end of Octo Expansion. They've been married for five years :>
I see Dedf1sh (Acht) and Paul as siblings. Idk, I feel as if Nintendo's been a little on the nose with implying that these two have at least been associated with each other, but I still headcanon them as siblings to appease my small fluff-addicted brain lmao
While we are yet to even have them in-game, I do think the existence of Inktolings (Inkling and Octoling hybrids) is highly possible. In fact, I made it clear that my Splatsona, Bairds, is an Inktoling. But they either are hiding the fact that they're part Octoling or are completely oblivious to the fact.
I headcanon the leaders of the three clans of Splatsville (Hohojiro, Onaga, and Manta) to interact with each other kind of how like irl world leaders interact with each other. They discuss about Splatsville politics, Deep Cut, blah blah blah stuff idk abt
I like to think that Callie and Marie had that one phase every impulsive 11-y/o girl with a functioning camera had where they were ambitious to become internet stars. Nowadays, they're grown ass adults and thank fuck that they didn't go viral back in the day.
I find it funny thinking that Captain Cuttlefish is that one stingy ass grandparent who will fucking. slap the shit out his children (callie and marie's parents) but will protect and literally buy a country for his little bumpkin grandchildren.
While the members of Deep Cut generally get along with each other, I'd like to imagine out a scenario where Frye and Big Man squabble over some stupid topic like whether you should eat pizza holding the crust or like a pie and then shiver barges in screeches the human bible in five different ancient ass languages they somehow memorized from freshman high school history class and then yelling at them to shut the fuck up and then adding "no you idots you eat pizza with scissors you stupid fucks" which pisses off frye and big man so they pull shiver into the squabbling and then when they eventually stop fighting they go all "WeLl yOu'Re nOt CoMiNg tO mY bIrThdAy pArty" and slam their bedroom doors on each other bc for some stupid ass reason they live in the same apartment
eventually they make up and order a large pizza from dominos and eat it how they prefer while watching sharkboy and lavagirl
Hoo, wow, that was... a lot. But thank you for asking! I had quite the time writing this. I'm probably gonna go to sleep soon, since it's 2 in the morning in my area.
Have a good day! Remember to take care of yourself!
#enigma answers#??#holy shit when have i last used that tag lmao#splatoon#splatoon 2#splatoon 3#splatoon idols#splatoon headcanon#splatoon oc#headcanon#oc
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I have been following you for so long and yet I feel like I don't know anything about you. So here are few questions
1. What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?
2. . If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
3. Do you like going to the movies or prefer watching at home?
4. What’s your go-to guilty pleasure?
5. What activity instantly calms you?
6. Ideally how would you spend your birthday?
AHH! Well I'm happy to answer these questions. Not too invasive and just fun enough :) Thank you for being interested at all. :)
I'll put my answers under the cut since I'm sure this isn't interesting to most.
I like to wake up early and walk my pup then pour myself a glass of cold brew (homemade cause that shit's expensive otherwise). Then probably I'd enjoy a walk in el centro and a good lunch at one of my favorite spots. Then later a movie to watch or a good fic to read and dessert with a joint.
Oooh... I had to think about this because I've eaten some amazing food in my life and in all the places I've gone. But I'm gonna go with Chicago tavern style pizza (the Chicago OGs will know what I'm talking about - this isn't that monstrosity of deep dish pizza everyone thinks of when they think of Chicago pizza - this is thin crust, square cut pizza that Chicago is REALLY known for).
I like watching movies at home. Prefer to be in my pj's, smoking a joint, a blanket and a dog over my lap, and maybe something sweet to eat that actually tastes good (so like not anything you buy at the movie theater).
Naughty fics, smoking weed (did I mention this already 😂), and working my way through a pint of magnum ice cream that's got all that Belgium chocolate in it that you have to like squeeze and break up the chocolate... if you haven't heard of this google it. I can find it at most grocery stores in the US and Mexico.
Yoga, walking outside, being at the beach, smoking weed (sorry that's more than one thing).
I'd be with my mom and we'd make a huge batch of brownies (just me and her) and eat the whole thing and watch terrible movies together and laugh about how bad the movies are and how we can't believe (😱) we've eaten a whole pan of brownies all on our own.
xoxo
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So, the drama currently going on in my life is Dave throwing a 3- month temper tantrum based on something I said months ago.
3 months ago, we were in a motel, and I was STILL sleeping on the floor. We had no food left besides bags of rice, cans of mixed veggies, and cans of diced tomatoes(plus salt, pepper, and garlic powder). Obviously, everyone was hungry. We only had a few dollars in the PayPal, and that money came from a renewed Subscription on my Ko-Fi.
At most, it was enough for rising-crust pizza at Walmart. Or... a tub of ice cream apparently.
See. Dave spent the past several hours complaining about there being no food and everything Bethy suggested was shot down cuz he had no money. Mom had no money. And there was less than $10 on PayPal, which was given through Ko-Fi, which PayPal took a portion of, so it was even less than the Subscription cost. And after hours of back and forth he suddenly sits up and goes, "Let's get ice cream."
So I, being the one with common sense and no small amount of annoyance, asked, "Why are we wasting money on ice cream after going hungry all day? Why would you buy ice cream instead of food?" (And his ass wonders why he can't lose weight? What is the obsession with ice cream ffs?)
Ever since then, he has been throwing a tantrum. Turns out, he HAD money of his own he just didn't want to use it personally. So, he drove out to get HIMSELF ice cream, and got like a pack of already-made cones, that he then ate all right there.
He was going to use MY MONEY to buy ice cream for everyone instead of getting like, stuff for PB&Js(which we could have afforded). He had some petty cash of his own on hand AFTER filling the gas tank, with more of MY MONEY.
His tantrum has extended all the way up to now. I've talked about how we've been able to do so much since we're not homeless anymore and we now have a stove. We've made homemade cheese sauce for mac n' cheese, homemade biscuits, homemade gravy, and homemade pasta. We've had chili, quesadillas, spaghetti & meatballs, baked chicken, ham & scalloped potatoes, hasselback potatoes, oatmeal, sausage gravy & biscuits, pancakes, rice, all sorts of canned veggies, soups, cereal, egg & cheese bagels, grilled cheese, PB&Js, lasagna, French Toast, and homemade Salisbury steak with a different homemade gravy.
Also, we made brownies. (And I'm gonna make choco chip cookies and Rice Krispy Treats soon.)
AND DAVE ATE NONE OF IT.
He whines about going hungry and having nothing to eat to anyone who will listen, but it's because of his own fragile ego. All cuz I had a problem with his plan on spending MY MONEY on shit we did not need; he's making it everyone else's problem.
(The biggest issue is that the lease is in his name this time so... mom doesn't want to start anything with him just to be safe. And ain't that a sad reality? We have to worry about potentially being kicked out if we offend him too much. After an entire year of me and donations from generous strangers keeping us afloat so we're not in a van all the time, we still can't fully relax cuz his ass is ungrateful. He's now telling people he's been working this entire time, and he will ignore all the good other people have done for us because it didn't come from him specifically.)
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I made the official CM Punk pizzas cos that's what my life's come to, now, I guess
Ok so I randomly remembered that aroud 2011/12 or something, some pizzaria in Chicago made CM Punk pizzas. And they were actual official things Punk himself endorsed.
youtube
And since I was bored and had no idea what I wanted to eat tonight I figured I might try the recipes. So I found what they were, got the ingredients, and had a go at making them myself. (I'm no pro chef btw hence why they look a little scuffed).
So, the Anaconda Vice is on the left and has black beans, chorizo, cheese, chopped tomato, spring onion, bacon bits, and fresh leaves of coriander and parsley. The GTS is on the right. It has shredded chicken, sliced potato, swiss cheese and fried onion.
I had to make some substitutions. I used chicken instead of turkey, and the vegan cheese and bacon on the AV wasn't available so I just used regular cheese and bacon. Also just did fried onion rather than french fried onion like the original recipe calls for.
My dough bases were just premade ones since I've never made pizza from scratch before and really wanted this to be edible since I was making this for dinner for my famiy (I did 2 of each pizza). I don't know if I could have done a self made one for my first try but I'll have a go for my next lot.
Overall, they were really good, and I imagine they'd be even better if I made my own base for them. The Anaconda Vice was by far the favourite, especially the black beans on it, and I've already been asked to make that one again in future. But might add fried onion like in the GTS, since I just like onion.
I imagine these being done at a proper pizzaria by people who knew what they were doing would have been amazing back in the day. Sadly I live 3,800 miles away from Chicago and 12 years into the future from 2012 when they last made these (as far as I know) so fat chance of ever getting that.
Overall these were really tasty and definitely worth the effort. Absolutely gonna make these again with my own pizza base. However, I have no idea how the fuck I'm supposed to explain where I got these recipes from to my family without looking like a complete lunatic. It feels weird to say they were wrestling inspired limited edition pizzas from a random pizzaria in another bloody continent.
Btw I've added a link to a post talking about the actual pizzas with pictures and all. I realise mine look nothing like them but I think they just chopped everything up finer and had different proportions of each topping (and obviously on a better base with thicker crust) so it's no big deal.
I'm probably gonna make at least the Anaconda Vice again in future since it went down so well. So if I can make one that looks a bit better than the ones I've done today, I might post them, too and show the improvement. Cos I swear that they tasted better than they looked in my picure.
#how the fuck has being a wrestling fan made me recreate a decade old pizza recipe??#can't believe this bullshit is what I spend my time doing#ok but no lie these were so fucking good#anaconda vice was the best#could quite happily pig out on these#and I am certainly one fat pig#love this shit#curious if anyone else is gonna have a go making these#you're missing out#cm punk#Youtube
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #140 (part 1)
Today, J and I went up in the airplane that is owned by the airplane club he's in:
We went to the very same airport that we crashed at. We need to get the logbooks for the crashed plane, and more pictures of the damage, for insurance purposes. This time, the landing went off without a hitch, as is natural, since J knows what he's doing. The trees have lots more leaves on them now, and so I took lots of nice pictures! I'll show you the best ones:
...Okay, so wait! I know this is not airplane scenery, but this was my breakfast today and it was super great, so I wanted to share it with you! We have some kind of garlic and clam pizza with garlic knots as the crust, a slice of sausage and mushroom pizza, and a philly steak pizza! I couldn't eat all of this at once, though; the slice of sausage and mushroom that they gave me was big enough to be three slices all by itself, goodness me! The rest is in the refrigerator of the airport we departed from! It will likely be my dinner, and I'm kinda looking forward to it, actually!
...I wonder what kind of pizza you like... Hm...
Oh, and! They have a new flavor of cola out! Cola is my favorite kind of soda, and lots of different companies make it. Sometimes, they like to add flavors to cola; lime, coconut, cherry, raspberry, and vanilla are a few popular ones. But this new flavor is peach! And it was REALLY GOOD!
I'm still hoping for a mint cola or a matcha cola someday, though!! Or maybe even a chocolate one!! I know that these will probably never happen, but I can dream, ahaha~! 😄💖
...Okay, enough about all that! I'm sure you're looking forward to the pictures I took while up in the sky, right? So I'll send them along; I hope you enjoy these:
...I love taking pictures for you. I love to record all of the beautiful things I see so that I can show them to you, in hopes that you'll be able to see the beauty in these things, too.
That being said, the view from J's window was objectively better for basically the whole way up, and so I am eager to get pictures of that view on the way back, which is why today's letter is gonna come in two parts, ahahaha! 😁
Oh, oh!! And! I found some dandelion poofs when we pulled in to the airport, before we took off!
...I don't know how it is in your world, but in mine, it's a common belief that if you make a wish on a dandelion poof while blowing out air to scatter the seeds, your wish will come true. I think I'm a little too old to really put much stock in stories like that anymore, but maybe next time I see one, I'll scatter the seeds while wishing that you can have a wholesome life, filled with peace, joy, love, and safety, while being surrounded by people who genuinely care for you.
...Maybe a little selfishly, I'll also wish for just a few moments to sit next to you and drink some yummy tea with you someday. Impossible, I know, haha. But there's no harm in wishing anyway, right? 😊
I managed to snag this adorable picture of a bumblebee for you, too!! 😍 Look!
...They're so buzzy and cute, I almost can't stand it, ahahaha~!! 🤩🥰
Anyway, I will be over here at this airport for a while, derping around and not really knowing what to do with myself. 😅 So I guess I'll stop writing for now. But I will write to you again later today after I return home, and I will make sure to have a lot of good pictures for you, too - just you wait! 😄🥰💖
I love you! And please stay safe, because I'm gonna write to you again in just a little while!
Your friend,
Lumine
#sephiroth#ThankYouFFVIIDevs#ThankYouFF7Devs#ThankYouSephiroth#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy vii crisis core#final fantasy 7 crisis core#final fantasy crisis core#ffvii crisis core#ff7 crisis core#crisis core#ff7r#final fantasy vii remake#final fantasy 7 remake#ffvii remake#ff7 remake#final fantasy vii rebirth#final fantasy 7 rebirth#ffvii rebirth#ff7 rebirth#final fantasy 7 ever crisis#ffvii ever crisis#ff7 ever crisis#ffvii first soldier#airplanes#wishes on dandelions#wholesome
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Seeing people take ur quiz in the comments/reblogs of that post; it seems like Leo might be one of the harder ones for people to get.
(Which, if this is true, it is kind of even funnier than it was before, considering how much u like to make him suffer, that u, virg, got him
Interesting; wonder why (esp. since I know a lot people kin him. Maybe they kin him, but also, are afraid to be him, because well, the universe has it out for him).
Also, haven't taken the quiz yet, but seeing o the descriptions for the boys is just wow; u get me in the heart. You get them so well.
It's not really intentional on my part, but i can see why Leo's hard to get.
I know Leo is popular amongst the fandom (it applies to other iterations too and i am guilty of that fact because i write mainly about him) and we know what happens to popular characters, sometimes they are mischaracterized a lot to make them seem better.
To other people, Leo is this cool serious guy, this badass person when in reality the closest personality I can assign him as in the real world is that he's one of us. As in, he makes and writes fanfiction, probably. And he's a teenage boy, so all that confidence he has is just to mask all the insecurities this poor boy has in his shell.
If you stick a Leonardo in a real highschool setting, he's not gonna be the cool kid, he's gonna the kid that the teachers like, but also the kid that only has a few friends because his interests is very obscure. He's the type to rather hang out in the background, and he's cool with that, as long as he has friends, he's fine. You get to really see his confident side if you're really close with hin and you'll realize "Wow, this guy is so cool, why does no one want to befriend him?"
He gives me that vibes, you know?
With other quizzes it's really obvious on who you're gonna get based on the answers like "Pick a color h e h e" and they'll give you their mask colors. The difference between my quiz and the others is that I actually base the answers on their personalities.
Here's one example.
The cereal question?
Yeah, Leo's the guy that eats cereal without milk. He has the vibe, you know? He eats that shit like it's a snack and not breakfast. (i also eat cereal this way, because in my country, you're a rich kid if you get to have cereal for breakfast. The only things we have is those little sachets of chocolate looking cereal and we eat those like potato chips. It's not common for an average filipino household to have cereal, let alonr a toaster)
Mikey is unhinged so it's obvious he's the guy eating cereal and milk separately.
Raph's the guy that puts cereal and then milk, like a normal ass person.
Donnie puts milk before cereal because he's a picky eater and doesn't want his cereal soggy plus he has a scientific explanation with the surface tension and all that jazz (we see him not eating the pizza crust, he's a picky eater)
Based on that question alone, i bet all of you answered Raph's or Donnie's
That question might seem silly but it tells a lot about the characters.
And besides, even if you didn't get what you expected from the test, sometimes it's something that you needed to hear. You never know how much the character is actually like you until you get a deeper understanding of them.
But don't listen to me, i'm just some random person on the internet that just loves to over analyze turtles.
Sorry if this is a long post lmaoo
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I'm gonna make a pizza for you, Harper.
Oh no I didn't flour the surface enough.
Why is the dough sticking to everything.
There's flour in my mouth.
I'm gonna make it into a heart. it's gonna be really cute.
I couldn't make it into a heart, so you're just gonna get a circle.
Now for the sauce and mozzarella. I'm gonna add some basil.
Now for the oven. Oh no I smell burning.
Okay, it's a bit burn and there's still water from the mozzarella and the crust is thick. but I didn't start a fire so I call this a win.
"... Ya know what, you right, I consider this a win, good job -v-b"
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Whumpcember Day 22 - Seizures
"Ugh..."
Julia heard Adam utter an exasperated sigh coming from the front desk. He seemed to be annoyed by something. She approached him in case he needed a hand.
"You need help with something?"
Adam ran his hand through his hair. "Ugh... Yeah, I'm just... trying to figure out what to do for this stupid festival. Cesar is supposed to help me, but he's off doing god knows what."
"Oof. I know that feeling. Maybe I can help you out with that?"
"Yes, please! I would really appreciate that."
Julia went over to him and looked at the stack of papers. It appeared to be a map of the classroom.
"Okay, so I'm trying to figure out which event we should do for the festival. The problem is, we're a book club and people tend to view book clubs as boring and kinda pretentious. So we need something that draws them in. Something that'll convince them to join."
"Hmm... Do you think a poetry performance will do the trick? Some of the members reciting their own writing will probably draw them in. Maybe we should make some food as well..."
"Oh? What kind?"
"Well, I was thinking cupcakes or cookies. Maybe we could write each word on them. Give it some variety. Then, people can choose which word they like the most. And maybe we can put an inspirational quote on a banner too! Something about trying your best while writing."
Adam's eyes lit up. "Oh wow, you really know your stuff! I like that."
"Hehe, thanks. I uh, don't know if it's gonna work, though. I haven't really shared my baking with anyone before." She scratched the back of her head.
"Well, I'm sure your work will be fantastic." He chuckled. "Y'know, I kinda underestimated you for a second."
"Eh? What do you mean?"
"Well, I thought you joined because this club is full of cute boys."
"Please don't say it like that. I just want to help out my friend."
"Relax. I'm just teasing you. Honestly, you're even worse than Jonah sometimes. I'm impressed!"
"Ugh..." Julia buried her face in her hands.
"Right. The plans." Adam shuffled the papers in his hands. She looked at him as he worked. He looked like he was really into his craft. Despite him being vice president, he was acting more like the club president than anything. She had no idea where Cesar could be. He was probably just busy or something.
She let out a yawn. Man, when did I get so tired?
"Sleepy?"
She nodded. She rested her head on his shoulder as he continued to scan the map, muttering something under his breath. She felt her eyes begin to close and soon, she was fast asleep.
"Hello...?"
She opened her eyes. She expected to be in the club, but all she saw was darkness. Who spoke to her just now?
"Ces? Adam?" She called out.
"Julia..."
She blinked, trying to look for the voice yet again.
"Do you... remember me?"
That voice... She could've sworn she heard it somewhere, but her head was starting to hurt. It sounded so familiar, but she couldn't remember where she heard it from. It was like being in thick fog. A figure slowly approached her. It was wearing a grey hoodie and was wearing a cross necklace.
Cross... necklace...?
She looked at his face. It was completely blank and his neck... It had an ugly purple mark on it like he was...
He was...
She started to scream. The figure began to scream with her. He began to claw at his neck, blood covering his fingers. His eyes were more visible now. They were empty, glassy... dead.
Red, blue and green were all the colors she could see, blending together and morphing into something she could not describe.
The colors, they won't stop.
Bright, beautiful colors.
Flashing, expanding, piercing.
Red, Blue, Green
An endless
cacophony
of meaningless
noise
The noise, it won't stop
Violent, grating waveforms
Squeaking, screeching, piercing
Sine, consine, tangent
Like playing a chalkboard on a turntable
Like playing a vinyl on a pizza crust
An endless
life
of meaningless
R e m e m b e r m e.
"CESAR!! CESAR, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!!"
She had fallen to the floor and was spasming, letting out an ear-piercing screech. Her limbs twitched violently, her head being thrown back in an awful manner. Adam just stared, not knowing what to do.
"Adam?! What's going- OH GOD, JULIA!!" Cesar dropped the papers that were in his arms and rushed over to her. "Get her on her side! And make sure no objects are in the way!" He turned to Jonah. "Jonah, you time the seizure!"
Jonah was stock still, but nodded. "O-Okay!"
Cesar and Adam turned her over, trying to ignore the look on her face. Her blue eyes were wide and terrified, still letting out a screech. Everyone just stared at the scene, horrified.
"Well, don't just stand there! Get the nurse!"
The triplets were frozen, although Julius had ran out of the club room, racing to the nurse's office. Cesar screwed his eyes shut.
I'm sorry, Julie... I'm so sorry...
#the mandela catalogue#ddlc au#cesar torres#adam murray#jonah marshall#julia markwood#whumpcember2023#whumpcember2023 day 22
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers 🩵
(if you feel like participating)
Oooooh, an activity! Love those. Greatly appreciate.
1. An early night. You know the kind. When everything has been just exhausting, when you get home and maybe have a lazy snack, kick your shoes off, claw off the bra and the jewelry, wash the face with warm water or find courage for a whole shower, and then just crawl into nice sheets and Exist for a while in peace. Maybe read or watch something, scroll through comrade's blogs and memes. And the best part, you think you've wasted time and stayed up too long despite everything, and then you check the time and it's a wholesome 10:07 pm and you turn off the light and fall asleep and the world seems decent for one night. I am criminally bad in arranging those for myself.
2. Some sort of a creature I get to see. A dog being walked. A cat chilling on the windowsill. An butterfly doing her thing. Some crows that hang out near my bus stop every morning. A ladybug on a leaf, snail on a fence post. Another dog being walked. Surprisingly, a horse being led past my front window (? i'm still not sure why but hey, a creature). Bumblee butt sticking out of a flower. Seagull on the head of a statue: classic. Horse part of the horse drawn carriage as a tourist attraction in the city center. Pigeons. Once back in winter, on a freezing morning after an even more freezing night, I saw two seagulls trying SO HARD to break into a completely frozen discarded slice of pizza, probably someone's dinner from last night. One of them was grabbing it by the crust and shaking its head violently to break it apart, at some point slapping its mate with the said pizza across the beak. Peak comedy.
3. When it's raining and picking up to a thunderstorm and you get to stay home. Perfect no plans Saturday weather. You get your little bowl of soup and your cup of tea and it gets 'worse' outside, maybe the wind even tears your cracked window wide open (yeah I keep my window open during thunderstorms and I will die on this well ventilated hill). And you don't have plans, nothing pressing anyway, you can just sit and enjoy this. Extremely pleasant stuff.
4. A nice outfit on my favorite me. I mean, I have a streak of vanity, not gonna lie, and I enjoy the aesthetics. Feeling nice, looking nice, making something in the wardrobe work, this small act of creation of an image of self – it's nice. It doesn't exist in vacuum of course and there's some baggage to unpack there, but it still makes me happy when dress pretty and hair sets good.
5. Libraries. I know I know, nerd tumblerette answer, but genuinely. I've never seen a library I didn't like, be it a small town one with no copies of Marx or big Historical Importance one with columns and hard wooden floors. The atmosphere itself is an instant calm. Usually very nice muted noise level. Smell of books and books and books. Feels like time stands still, like the world is decent again. Books ranging from stupid to lifechanging and you get to prticipate in figuring out which is which.
Putting all of the above together, it must mean if I could be in a library while wearing a nice outfit, with a creature like a cat at the fingertips, a thunderstorm raging outside and a bed also present in the library to have an early night in right there – I would probably have an orgasm.
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You get a lot of super heavy asks sometimes. I hope it's ok to ask some lighter questions for fun. I don't know why they're all food based. I think I'm just hungry haha.
Do you prefer jelly, jams, preserves, or marmalades? What's your favorite flavor of them?
I tried boysenberry jam the other day and it was...uh...a flavor for sure.
Do you like chunky or creamy peanut butter (if you eat peanut butter)? If you had to choose between a peanut butter and banana sandwich or a fluffernutter (marshmallow fluff and peanut butter for anyone wondering), which would you pick? PB/banana/honey/chia seeds is a personal favorite. I feel very bougie when I eat that lol.
What's your favorite pizza topping? Do you like NY style, thin crust, sicilian, deep dish, or pan pizza? Have you ever tried cauliflower crust pizza? I feel like we should just leave cauliflower alone before it gets a superiority complex. Also, why cauliflower crust? What about broccoli crust? Carrot crust? Parsnip? Potato? (Ooo not gonna lie, a hashbrown crust breakfast pizza could be delicious. Hashbrown crust, sun dried tomato sauce, sunny side up eggs, arugula, maybe some Canadian bacon, some cheddar cheese...I might be on to something here...).
Do you have a good challah bread recipe? Have you ever used challah to make French toast?
Eggs over easy, scrambled, sunny side up, poached, fried, soft boiled, or hard boiled? If scrambled, do you add milk? (I learned recently IHOP adds, of all things, pancake batter to their eggs to make them light and fluffy).
Favorite type of cheese?
Lastly, iced tea, lemonade, or fruit punch?
It depends on the fruit. Lemon curd is incredible, and a good Concord grape jelly (like real jelly not artificial flavor jelly) is really good. I used to always take the orange marmalade jar from the jams and jellies assortment that one of the car companies sent freelancers on the holidays, too. My favorite, though, is my mom's strawberry jam. I haven't had any in like 4 years, bc we don't live close enough to get any, and that makes me sad.
Again, it depends on the usage. For peanut butter cookies, chunky peanut butter. For sandwiches, creamy by preference, but chunky isn't the end of the world. Peanut butter/banana is pretty good but if I want salty/sweet with bananas, I'd prefer to split a banana in half lengthwise and put garlic hummus on it, then pile clover sprouts on that. It's crunchy/sweet/salty/green. Very nice flavor/texture contrast.
I like white pizza with grilled artichoke hearts and baby bella mushrooms. I used to really love ham and pineapple but for obvious reasons I don't eat that anymore. (I love flavor contrasts.)
I used to love thin crust, and it's my mom's favorite, but that doesn't work as well gluten-free. My favorite pizza type is the type I can eat. Except for Chicago deep dish, it's just not my thing.
Cauliflower crust is just fine. The reason for using cauliflower is that it has a very neutral taste and is low-carb and gluten free, which none of the other choices really are, not all 3. Hash browns actually make a really good pie crust for a gluten-free quiche; I make that every so often for dinner.
I have a couple of very average gluten-free challah recipes, and we usually buy ours from New Cascadia, a local bakery. Emet makes challah French toast out of the leftovers every week.
Over easy, soft or hard boiled, scrambled, sunny side up, poached... I just really like eggs. Buttermilk in scrambled eggs is really good, it gives the flavor a certain something. A little sharpness kind of like cheddar cheese does.
Favorite kind of cheese: the kind in my hand and about to be put in my mouth.
Lemonade. Iced tea just tastes like chewing a teabag after all the good tea has been brewed out of it, and the taste of fruit punch is heavily associated with being given fruit punch with aspartame in it as a child, getting migraines and throwing up, and then being told I'm "Being Dramatic" by adults. It tastes of gaslight, nausea and powerlessness. No thanks.
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