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#I’ve been sick so I have lots to catch up on
thunderheadfred · 2 months
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dammit I missed Daḳota Iapi class
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sleepgarden · 3 months
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I’m very sorry to anyone waiting on me for anything, this week I’m going to contact everyone and get back to any messages that I haven’t yet. Thank you so much for your patience!
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tabbytiger · 3 months
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Having the profound realization that, yes, I am indeed psychotic. I also have adhd so they are holding hands. Think I’ve been in a psychotic episode since the last months of 2023 and I’m just now realizing it. 😭 I wrote it off as just my paranoid anxiety but like gorly those are symptoms of Psychosis.
Umm anyways who wants to perform a ritual to rid me of this ailment.
#13#the urge to confront a delusion but you’re too afraid to ask for validation#Like I know its a delusion but I’ve experienced it before so its hard to rationalize#I’m scared if I ask for validation or comfort I might make people in my life irritated or angry#Like what if it just makes them dislike me more#Genuinely one of the worst delusions i have#I feel so strongly to try and be the perfect person and friend but I keep not being aware of what im doing or saying#And then It just feeds into the delusion#Like the grip this has on me#That and my stupid delusion of thinking someone is going to break in and kill me or my family in the middle of night#Or I think they’re already dead or I just get terrified that I’ll find them when I wake up#Me genuinely getting afraid when I have ‘thoughts that may manifest into reality’ and I HAVE to knock on wood#I also genuinely think hiding under the covers will save me#cryptids??? yup they’re real and they’re going to get me if I talk or think about them#I unplug a lot of stuff before sleeping bc I’m afraid house will explode#Also after the marshalls fires happened I’ve been worrying about my house catching fire in the middle of night#I hate it when people walk behind or close to me in the same direction#If I see what i percieve as ‘weird’ stuff on my foods I stop eating it cuz I’m worried it might make me sick or diseased#Ive literally passed out during psychotic attacks bc I get so terrified something bad will happen my brain just shut off the power#Like I know they’re mostly irrational and not real or true but the belief that it is is soo strong u still get scared#They make me avoid stuff as well#Like seeing a vc w all my friends in it but not joining even if I want to bc I’m scared something bad my happen#or that me joining will upset and interrupt what they’re doing#Or i genuinely think they don’t want me there or that they don’t like me so I get anxious and lay in bed for hours#for the last like 4-5 months I’ve been spending all my free time lying in bed not moving bc I lack energy#Its hard for me to believe people want me or the concept of emotional permanance#Like I genuinely can’t grasp the concept that people by default aren’t constantly up with you#and that love can last longer than the minutes it was expressed#I keep losing my train of thoughts my memory is getting worst I’m word vomiting more#A thing I do that annoy people a lot is sometimes I will the the long way to get to the point I’m talking abt
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joelsgreys · 27 days
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fall into temptation | three
Post Outbreak Joel Miller x Preacher’s Daughter! Reader
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series masterlist l previous chapter
summary: Of all the women to catch Joel Miller’s attention—it just had to be one of the goddamned preacher’s daughters.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. SLIGHT PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER, mentions of her hair which she can put up into braids as well as her style of clothing. despite the nickname Joel gives her, it does not speak to her body type or size. AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 56). several mentions of religion and religious symbols, reader has a father and two sisters, all who come with names, reader gets put into a a very uncomfortable situation, insecurity, anxiety, Seth is an asshole, protective Joel, he threatens to break someone’s jaw which is a warning in and of itself. SMUT. loss of virginity, reader is inexperienced but not totally clueless, oral (both m and f receiving), risky unprotected p in v sex (please wrap it up), lots of praise and pet names (baby, babygirl, honey, you know, the works), Joel gets a teensy bit rough, creampie, hint of aftercare, ends with a cliffhanger, but also not really if you think about it?
MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, NO MENTION OF RACE OR BODY TYPE.
word count: 10k
a/n: it was not my intention to post this on jesus day, but here we are. this took forever and a day considering the second part was posted back in september, but i am so so proud of myself for finally completing a wip i could cry. i did a bulk of the editing while i’ve been sick and in all honesty i probably should have asked someone to beta for me because i think i coughed out like 90% of my brain cells this week, but i think it turned out okay. ish.
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Somehow, even over the volume of the live music, you could still hear their hushed, astonished whispers.
“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
“Is that Joel Miller with Pastor John’s daughter?”
“What’s she doing holding his hand?”
“He’s got to be at least twice her fucking age—”
Throat bobbing anxiously, you glanced up at Joel.
His shoulders were squared back, his head held high. 
Solid. Steady.
Joel couldn’t seem to care less about the bewildered stares, the judgment that was being flung his way. Not once did he seem to waver. But you?
Oh, you were already starting to crumble underneath it all, on the verge of falling apart right before everyone’s prying eyes. Shame sat heavily inside of your chest, the weight of the feeling suffocating you, making it harder and harder to breathe as it prevented air from reaching your lungs.
It had nothing to do with Joel. Of course it didn’t. It had all to do with you and with who you were. Their beloved preacher’s sweet, innocent young daughter. 
His youngest daughter. 
Suddenly, the whispers were no longer whispers.
“Oh God, she’s not going home with him, is she?”
“That’s not right! Someone should say something!”
“Pastor John would never allow something like this.”
“Poor thing’s naive—she doesn’t know any better.”
Hot, stubborn tears of frustration glazed over your eyes and threatened to spill. It was as if you were a child who didn’t know any better, a gullible, clueless little girl with nothing in her brain who needed to be rescued—saved from the bad, bad man before he did bad, bad things to her.
Had it been anyone else, no one would have batted an eye. No one would have noticed, let alone cared. But it was you that Joel Miller was leaving the bar with in the middle of the night and it was you whose hand he had clasped in his own. That is what made it wrong. That is why it was a problem.
Everyone’s concerns had nothing to do with him at all, they had everything to do with you. You, you, you. You were the sole reason why it was a problem, the reason why he was being perceived as the Devil himself, horns out as he dragged the poor little unsuspecting angel down to the fires of Hell.
“Joel?” Overwhelmed, you instinctively reached for his arm with your free hand. Cold and trembling, your little fingers curled tightly around his bicep, digging into the firm, bulging muscle through the thick corduroy fabric of his sleeve. You whispered his name again. “Joel—”
“S’alright, babygirl,” he reassured you quietly over his shoulder. He gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “S’alright. Just keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You just keep on lookin’ right at me, okay?”
Nodding, you inhaled deeply and focused on him. Only him. The broadness of his back and his shoulders. Tufts of hair that curled over the collar of his shirt. Only him. He’s what mattered. He’s all that mattered.
“Almost there,” Joel murmured, squeezing your hand again as the door came into view. “Breathe, baby. We’re almost there. I’ve got you. You’re alright. Ain’t gonna let anythin’ bad happen to you. Promise I’ve got you.”
It wasn’t until his fingers wrapped around the old, brass handle that you finally exhaled the breath you had been holding out in utter relief, though it was very, very short lived. Just as Joel pulled the door open, you felt a hand wrap around your arm. Dry, slender fingers dug into the soft flesh above your elbow as an attempt, and a feeble one at that, was made to tear you out of Joel’s grasp.
The music stopped and the bar fell silent. Everything and everyone came to a sudden standstill, freezing mid dance, mid drink, mid bite, mid gossip.
Shocked, you glanced over your shoulder. “Seth?” you squeaked his name. “What—what are you doing?”
Seth didn’t acknowledge you. His focus was on Joel.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Miller?”
Joel’s anger couldn’t be seen, but it could be felt. So palpable you could have wrapped your fingers around it. It radiated off of him and loomed over the entire bar like an incoming storm cloud. Threatening. Dangerous.
“Where are you taking her?” Seth demanded, his other hand curling around your wrist as he tried, but failed, to snatch you from Joel’s side once more. “Let the girl go! You let her go right now, you hear?”
Caught in between the two men, you nervously turned to look at Joel. Nostrils flared, jaw clenched, seething eyes that did the talking for him. His message was loud and oh so abundantly clear.
If Seth didn't take his hands off you, he wasn’t going to have any hands.
Not after Joel Miller was through with him.
Blazing heat flooded your face. As if it couldn’t possibly get any worse, everyone had now gathered around you to watch the tense encounter, eyes wide, brows raised and jaws practically on the weathered, hardwood floor.
Tommy Miller stood among the crowd, subtly shaking his head, his lips pressed together in a tight, thin line of disapproval as he glowered at his older brother. Would he be looking at Joel like that had it been Esther in your place? If she was the one he was taking home? Would any of this be happening if it was her instead of you?
“Seth.” Uttering his name, you shifted your attention back to him. You sounded calm and collected, despite feeling anything but. Joel’s hand in yours was the only thing keeping you steady and grounded. His touch was the only reason you hadn’t yet spiraled into a state of panic. Clearing your throat lightly, you spoke again and tried your hardest not to waver. “Please let go of me.”
Still fixed on Joel, he spat, “I’ll be damned if I let him take you anywhere.”
“He’s not taking me anywhere, Seth.” Without thinking, the words came tumbling out of your mouth—loud and clear for everyone in that room to hear. “He isn’t forcing me to go with him. I’m making the choice to leave with him. Out of my own volition. Please let go of me.”
Finally, Seth looked at you. His old, worn features were twisted in disbelief. “What?”
You swallowed dryly. Part of you wanted you to shrink away, curl into yourself. Instead, you straightened your posture, forced yourself to stand a little bit taller. Willed yourself to have a backbone for once in your life.
“You heard me,” you said, lifting your chin in defiance. Several onlookers gasped in surprise at your rebellion. Where had this insolence come from? “I’m choosing to leave with Joel. Now, please let go of my arm.”
Behind you, Joel stood silent and still. 
Watching. Observing. Waiting.
He wanted nothing more than to intervene. Rip you out of Seth’s hands and shatter each and every last bone in all ten of his fingers for putting them on you. Had Joel not realized that this was probably the first time in your whole, entire life you’d mustered up the courage to use your voice, he would have easily given into the urge. He wanted to protect you. He needed so badly to protect you. Yet, he knew you weren’t helpless or incapable of standing on your own two feet. He knew you deserved the chance to stand up and speak for yourself after a lifetime of being silenced, a lifetime of being forced to stay in your place, seen but never heard.
“Seth, let go of my arm,” you repeated. It was no longer a polite request. It was a demand.
He scoffed. “Do you honestly think I’m going to let you leave with somebody like him? You think I’m just going to stand back and let him take advantage of you?”
Oh, you hadn’t liked that insinuation, not one bit. 
It caused something inside of you to finally give way.
Snap.
The blood in your veins boiled, ran hot enough to make you feel like you were about to burn from the inside out. “Joel isn’t taking advantage of me! It isn’t like that,” you seethed, furiously. The quiet, well mannered, obedient good girl everyone in Jackson knew was gone. And she could stay gone. In your periphery, you could see Leah elbowing her way through the sea of people to the front of the crowd with an incredulous look plastered on her face. She stood there beside Tommy, who appeared to be just as incredibly bewildered by your outburst. “Don’t treat me like I’m some child who doesn’t know any better! I’m an adult and I’m old enough to make my own choices, okay?”
For a moment, you had forgotten it was Seth standing there in front of you.
“I’m capable of making my own decisions! I don’t need you to dictate my life. I don’t need you to tell me what is and isn’t good for me—controlling what I should and shouldn’t believe in.” Your voice trembled as emotions you’d been suppressing for years bubbled their way up to the surface. Amidst the chaos, you could feel Joel squeeze your hand again, as if silently encouraging you not to lose your nerve. He was your anchor, the only person who could keep your world from capsizing. You knew he wouldn’t let you drown. Not even God, who you had always been forced to believe was your pillar of strength, had ever made you feel this protected. Safe. “I don’t need you to tell me how to live and much less when it’s the end of the world.”
It wasn’t Seth you were addressing.
It was your father.
Your father, who controlled every last thing, from what you would eat to the way that you dressed and how you wore your hair.
Your father, who refused to let you have a mind of your own, who simply could not bear the mere thought of you thinking for yourself.
Your father, whose love felt like shackles, heavy, rusted metal restraints that had been digging into the flesh of your wrists for far, far too long.
“You need to let me go now,” you said, swallowing back the lump in your throat. Once more, you caught Leah from the corner of your eye, your heart lurching in your chest when you noticed her desperately trying to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. She was the only person in the room who understood how you felt. Her rebelliousness only ever masked the pain of knowing her father’s love came with terms and conditions—and the fear of knowing what would happen if those terms and conditions weren’t met. For several weeks, you’d gotten a taste of what she went through everyday, how her fear of putting her foot down led her to run around in secret and live a double life. “Just let me go.”
Seth firmly shook his head. “No! I’m not letting you go anywhere with him. I don’t know what the hell he did to you, but he’s clearly got you all fucking brainwashed.”
That was fucking enough. Joel stepped in, lowering his voice as he said, “Y’know, I’ve just ‘bout lost count of how many fuckin’ times she’s asked you to let her go now and it’s really startin’ to piss me off.” Raising an eyebrow, he laid his offer out on the table. “Here’s the deal. You let go of her right now and I won’t shatter your fuckin’ jaw into pieces. That seem fair enough to you?”
“No.” Seth gripped your arm even harder, prompting you to let out a little yelp as his nails dug painfully into your skin. Though it’d been accidental and he hadn’t meant to hurt you, it didn’t matter. He’d just set off the ticking time bomb that was Joel Miller.
Furious, Joel snatched a fistful of his shirt with his free hand—the other still held yours. Gentle, despite being mere moments away from beating someone to within an inch of their life.
“Joel! Stop!” Tommy’s voice broke through the tension as he approached. His footsteps were slow—careful and cautious, as if he was afraid to make any kind of sudden movement. “Joel. Hey. C’mon now, let’s not do this, alright? Ain’t gotta handle things this way. We can talk it through. No need for anyone to wind up bleedin’ in the fuckin’ infirmary tonight, so just take a breath and let him go.”
Blatantly ignoring Tommy’s attempt to keep the peace, Joel tugged Seth forward, yanking him closer. “Listen to me and listen to me good ‘cause I ain’t gonna fuckin’ say it again. You’d best take your fuckin’ hands off her right now unless you wanna spend the rest of the night sweepin’ up your teeth off the floor of your own fuckin’ bar,” he threatened, his tone enough to send a chill up anyone’s spine, even your own.
“You wouldn’t dare, Miller.” Somehow, Seth managed to keep a straight face, but you could see it so clearly in his eyes and in the tremble of his lower lip—oh, he was terrified of Joel and rightly so. “Not in front of all these people. Not in front of your brother. That wouldn’t be a smart move considering you’re already on thin fucking ice for what you did to that boy’s face, now would it?”
Joel tugged him closer. “Test me,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Go on. Fuckin’ test me.”
His challenge was immediately met with a pathetic look of defeat. Seth dropped your arm and he was released.
“S’what I fuckin’ thought.” Without another word to the man, Joel whirled around and roughly pulled the door open, leading the way outside. As you both descended the building’s old, creaking wooden steps, you began to shiver and he suddenly remembered he’d left his jacket behind inside the bar. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “C’mere, my little dove,” he murmured as he tucked you against his side for warmth. “I’ve got you.”
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The first thing he did was light the fireplace.
“Should start warmin’ you up, sweet girl,” he’d said to you over his shoulder. He tossed a log into the blaze as you sat perched on his couch rubbing your bare arms with your hands. “M’gonna go upstairs and find you a blanket, alright? You stay put.”
“Okay,” you’d mumbled, knowing there was no point in telling him not to fuss over you.
Even with the soft, fleece throw blanket he had draped around your shoulders and the warmth of the flames in front of you, you continued trembling. Subtle, but he’d noticed it, felt it when he had sat down beside you and pulled you close against his side. “Oh baby, you’re still shakin’?” That was when he realized you weren’t cold. Frowning, Joel rose to his feet and disappeared down the hallway. He came back to the living room a minute later with a glass of water in his hand. With a small, labored grunt, he dropped to one knee in front of you and held it out. “Here.”
“No, thank you.” You shook your head. “I’m not thirsty.”
“Maybe not, but I’m kinda worried you could be in a bit of shock, right now,” he stated, the creases in between his brows deepening as he observed you for any other physical signs of distress. Carefully, Joel lifted the glass to your lips, gently coaxing you to take a drink. “C’mon, darlin’. Think you can be a real good girl for me and at least take a couple sips? Hm?”
Sighing softly, you nodded and did as he asked of you, taking a small sip of water. It soothed your dry mouth and throat and you took another one. Maybe you were thirsty after all.
“Little more, now. Little more. That’s it. That’s my good girl.” Once he was satisfied with how much you’d had to drink, Joel set the half empty glass down on the oak coffee table behind him. He turned back to you, placing his large hands on either side of your thighs below the hem of your dress. He started tracing soft, soothing circles into your skin with his thumbs. “M’real proud of you for standin’ up for yourself back there, sweetheart. Took a whole lot of fuckin’ courage to do that, y’know.”
You glanced down at your hands in your lap. “Mhm.”
“Baby. Hey. Look at me.” One of his hands abandoned your leg and he reached up, delicately taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. He tilted your face upwards, his worried gaze meeting your own. “Talk to me. M’right here.”
“That—that was a lot,” you admitted meekly, shoulders sagging as the adrenaline started wearing off and your body slowly came down from the peak hormone rush. “It was a lot.”
Sighing, Joel’s hand fell away from your face. “Yeah, I know it was a lot, babygirl. I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“No.” You were quick to cut him off. “Don’t be sorry.”
His chest heaved with another sigh, this one deeper, heavier, bearing the weight of his guilt. “Well I am,” he said. He planted his hands on either side of you on the couch and lightly shook his head. “Didn’t even fuckin’ think twice when I pulled you outta that fuckin’ supply closet and took your hand in front of all those people. I was so fuckin’ hellbent on showin’ everybody you were mine that I didn’t even stop and think ‘bout what all it would mean for you. It was selfish of me. Real fuckin’ selfish. And I’m sorry, little dove.”
“Do you regret it?” you asked, quietly.
Joel chuckled in spite of himself. “M’pretty sure I’m the one who should be askin’ you that question, darlin’,” he remarked. “Tell me. Do you regret it? Do you regret me pullin’ you outta that closet?” He momentarily paused. There was a stutter in his heartbeat when you dropped your gaze away from his, silence your only reply. “Do you regret me takin’ your hand in front of everyone?”
Of course not.
You wanted to be his and you wanted everyone to know it. There was no regret, none. 
Still. 
The consequences that you would undoubtedly have to face in the morning were overwhelming. Daunting.
Surely, by then, your father would know about you and Joel. When he came downstairs right after sunrise and he discovered you weren’t in the kitchen helping Lydia prepare breakfast, he would question where you were and make some kind of remark about how you should not be sleeping in this late. He would tell her just how irresponsible it was for you to ignore your duties and obligations to him and the family. Sloth was one of the seven deadly sins, after all. He would make her trek upstairs and wake you, and when she did, your sister would find your bed empty.
Meanwhile, there would be a knock at the front door.
No stranger to having members of the congregation show up on his doorstep when they were in need, be it of prayer or comfort, your father would answer it only to find someone, not in need of solace, but who felt that it was their responsibility and moral obligation to inform him that they had seen his youngest daughter leaving The Tipsy Bison with Joel Miller in the middle of the night, hand in hand.
He wouldn’t believe them.
“Now, that is simply not true,” he would say, offended that anybody would have the nerve to show up at his door and accuse you of something so vile. “That’s not possible. I know my daughter and she would never do such a thing. It must have been someone else that you saw with him. Someone who looked like her, perhaps.”
Then, Lydia would descend the staircase and tell him you weren’t in your bedroom. “She must have gone up to the main street as soon as she woke up,” she would suggest with a shrug, not yet privy to the events that had taken place the night before at the party you and Leah had snuck off to. She never had to worry about you, the good one. “I did notice we were running pretty low on eggs. Sugar, too. She probably wanted to be the first in line at the pantry to—Papa? What’s the matter?”
The color would drain from your father’s face when the realization slowly sank in. No, you weren’t out on the main street picking up eggs for breakfast and sugar for his tea. You were lying up in Joel Miller’s bed—defiled, impure, and with the curse of Eve on your flesh. Even after dedicating his entire life to making sure you did not stray from the path of righteousness, he had failed. You had fallen into temptation. 
There was a chance he would have mercy on you. All you had to do was beg and plead for his forgiveness—and more importantly, for the forgiveness of God. “Vow to atone for your sins,” your father would say, his gaze fixed on the Holy Bible in his lap. He probably wouldn’t be able to look at you, not after what you had done. “Repent. And swear to me, child, that you will never so much as glance in that man’s direction ever again.”
No. That’s not what you wanted.
You wanted Joel and the freedom to be with him. 
But that freedom came with a high, high price.
You were willing to pay it, but you’d be lying if you said you were prepared to navigate the consequences. Then again, was there really any way for someone to prepare themselves to be shunned by their own father?
“I can take you home,” Joel offered quietly, the sound of his voice taking you out of the future and bringing you back into the present.
“What?”
“I can take you home,” he repeated himself. “I can take you home right now if that’s what you want, sweet girl. Won’t give you any kinda grief ‘bout it.”
Confused, all you could do was stare at him.
“Listen to me, baby. You mean a lot to me. More than I can even begin to explain,” Joel reassured you before any kind of doubt could find its way into your mind. “I want you to stay with me. There’s nothin’ on what’s left of this fuckin’ earth I want more than for you to stay here with me. But what you want matters to me a hell of a lot more than what I want.” He reached up, lightly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “If you decide you wanna go home and go back to your family—back to your old man—then that’s where I’ll take you. Okay?”
Your father would give you an ultimatum. But Joel? He was giving you a choice. And he’d respect that choice.
“I wanna free you from your cage, my little dove. But I think we both know you’ve gotta make the choice to fly outta there on your own.” He lightly swept his thumb over your quivering bottom lip, his eyes meeting yours as he whispered, “Door’s wide open for you. What you do next is all up to you.”
“I’m afraid, Joel,” you confessed. A tear slipped from the corner of your eye and rolled its way down the side of your face. He was quick to wipe it away, along with the others that followed. “I do want out of my cage. I really, really do. But I’m terrified. All I have ever known is my family and my faith. I have never been apart from my father and my sisters.”
His expression softened. “I know you’re scared. Can’t promise you things will be easy, but there is one thing I can promise you.”
“What’s that?” you questioned, then waited with baited breath.
He gingerly cupped your cheek in his large palm. “I’ve got you,” he swore to you, just like he had done so back at the bar. “If you decide to stay, I promise I’ll take real, real good care of you, alright? For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. You won’t ever have to worry ‘bout a thing with me by your side. Swear it on my life.”
Warmth blossomed in your heartspace and finally, you stopped trembling. Lifting a hand, you curled your fingers around his wrist as your gaze fell to his mouth. “Joel?”
“What is it, darlin’ girl?”
“Kiss me. Please.”
With a gentle nod, Joel’s other hand found your hip, the warmth of it seeping through the cotton fabric of your dress. Leaning in, he brushed his lips against yours. It was a chaste thing, soft and innocent until you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to you. “Babygirl,” he mumbled against your lips. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue through your parted lips and into your mouth. He tasted like bold bourbon and citrus beer. There was a faint hint of tobacco too—you recalled him admitting to you one night in the church house that while he wasn’t all that much of a smoker, at least not like he used to be when living in the zones, he would occasionally partake in the habit if he happened to come across a pack of cigarettes while out on patrol, pairing the nicotine with a drink. He tasted delicious. He tasted delicious because he tasted like yours.
You sank back into the worn, supple brown leather of his couch, tugging him forward so he sank in with you. Over you. Releasing your near death grip on his collar, you managed to wedge your hands in between your bodies and began to claw furiously at the buttons of his shirt, your fingers shaking out of pure desperation to feel him. It wasn’t until you were halfway down that he finally noticed what you were doing and leaned back, catching both of your wrists.
“Baby, wait,” he panted, shaking his head. “Don’t think now’s a good time for that—”
“Joel, please,” you pleaded, the intense ache between your thighs almost too much for you to bear. “Please. I want it. I want you.”
“S’been a rough night for you.” Joel’s voice was hoarse—strained, like he was aching just as much, if not more. “You’re real emotional right now. Vulnerable. Last thing I want is to take advantage of you at a time like this.”
You frowned. Had Seth’s words gotten into his head?
“You’re not taking advantage of me.”
“Darlin’ I just don’t think we should—”
“Joel, please,” you begged him again. “I was so good for you, was I not? Wasn’t I patient, just like you asked me to be?”
His lips thinned into a tight line. He wouldn’t be able to resist much longer. You, his beautiful little temptress of Eden.
“I waited for so long,” you reminded him. “I’ve been so, so good for you. Please, just make me yours already. I don’t want to think about anything else right now. I just want to be with you. Please, Joel. I need you so badly it hurts.”
Christ.
No man could stand it. No man could possibly have the strength to deny you.
With a look of utter defeat, he folded. Before he could say another word or make another move, your greedy mouth was on his, and you kissed him with fervor, with urgency, as you finished the task of unbuttoning his shirt. Pushing it off of his shoulders, the corduroy fabric fell into a crumpled heap behind him, nearly knocking the glass of water off the coffee table. You broke away from him and shamelessly marveled at his mouth watering form—you admired the way miles of smooth, tanned skin stretched over his wide shoulders, broad chest and soft, soft belly. Arousal pooled between your legs and you reached out and raked your fingers down his chest, and over his stomach, going lower and lower, following the trail of coarse, dark hair that led you to his brown leather belt. You clumsily started fumbling with the brass buckle until he caught your hands once more.
“Slow down, my little dove,” he murmured. “No need to rush this. We’ve got all night.” He stood up and held his hand out to you. Time blurred a bit—maybe it was your nervousness mingled with the eager anticipation of what was to come, but there seemed to be a small gap in your memory, a blank space that spanned from the moment you rose off the couch until the moment you found yourself standing in his bedroom where you were about to answer to the call of the flesh.
Dropping your hand, Joel switched on the lamp on his bedside table and kicked off his boots before taking you into his arms. “C’mere, honey.” He nuzzled your cheek with the tip of his nose as he spoke, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheek. “Couple’a rules, sweet girl. I do somethin’ that you don’t like, you tell me. You want me to stop, you tell me to sto—”
Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto the floor and knelt at his feet with purpose, as if kneeling before an altar, a sacred, holy space. Though you felt anxious, you were eager to worship. “I haven’t forgotten about what I said earlier tonight,” you cooed, noticing the mild look of surprise on his face. “I said I’d make it up to you and I intend on keeping my word.”
All the blood in his body rushed south to his cock and it strained painfully against the crotch of his jeans. “Baby, I—” Again, he was cut off, only this time by the sound of his own groan when your hand brushed up the front of his thigh and over his growing bulge. He glanced down, his heart thrumming painfully hard against his sternum as he watched you reach for his belt buckle.
With all your might, you willed your hands so as not to tremble. It was self-explanatory, what you were about to do, but your total lack of experience sowed seeds of doubt into your mind—you wanted to make him feel good, just like he had made you feel good outside of the church house during services. Just how you knew he would make you feel tonight.
Hand still over his buckle, you pressed the tenderest of kisses to his bulge through his jeans. Then, turning your head, you rested your cheek on one of his thick, blue denim clad thighs and peered up at him through your eyelashes with a small, nervous smile as you confessed what he already knew. “I’ve never done this before.”
Oh, how sweet and endearing you were. Joel reached down and smoothed your hair back and away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. “S’alright, honey,” he crooned, grazing the silkiness of your cheek with his index finger. “I’ll walk you through it. Teach you how to be a real good girl and suck my cock just the way I like it. That what you want, my little dove?”
His filth made your cunt clench hard around nothing.
Slowly lifting your head off of his thigh, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and managed a clear, consenting nod as your hands fumbled with his buckle, the clinking sound of metal ringing loudly in your ears. You undid the button on his jeans and pulled down his zipper, your throat drying when you saw the outline of him, his size intimidating even behind the cotton fabric of his faded, black boxer briefs.
With a harsh swallow, you glanced up at him, silently asking him for his permission to continue.
Such a polite little thing, Joel thought to himself. “Go on, sweetheart,” he encouraged.
You tugged his jeans down to the middle of his thighs and hooked your index fingers underneath the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling them down and freeing his cock. There was a deep, swooping sensation in your belly as you watched it slap up against the lower part of his abdomen. After many nights of sitting in his lap, feeling him through his clothes, grinding your cunt down onto him, you thought you’d at the very least had an idea of what you would be in for, but oh, how wrong you had been. He was so much bigger than you could have imagined, and your stomach swooped again when you realized he was not going to fit. Anywhere.
Licking away the dryness of your lips, you take him in one of your hands, feeling the heaviness of his length in your palm. He was so long and so, so thick.
“Oh fuck,” Joel hissed the curse through gritted teeth, his hips jerking forward involuntarily as your touch sent a charged jolt of electricity shooting up the length of his spine. He looked down at you, his pupils blown wide with arousal. Christ. You hadn’t even done anything to him yet, but seeing you sitting so prettily at his feet was almost enough to make him come on the spot.
Delicately wrapping your hand around him, you found yourself almost in awe at the way your fingertips barely, just barely, touched. The sheer size of his cock dwarfed your hand, and made it seem so much smaller than it really was.
“You’re so big,” you murmured, echoing your thoughts. You licked at your lips again, suddenly feeling ravenous, an appetite that had seemingly come out of nowhere making you salivate. The tip of him was flushed red, slit already glistening—how badly you wanted, needed a taste. Never, ever, did you think you would be down on your knees for anything but prayer, but there you were, starved and desperate to bite into the forbidden fruit.
“What’re you waitin’ for, darlin’ girl?” he croaked.
“Permission,” you replied, sweetly.
“Go right ahead, baby. S’all yours—I’m all yours.”
Yours.
Yours, yours, yours.
Finding your first push of courage, you leaned forward and so carefully swept your tongue along the tip of his length, collecting the slight saltiness leaking from the slit and getting your first delectable taste. With your hand still wrapped firmly around his base, you looked up, your eyes locked on Joel’s face as you flicked your tongue up against the rigid underside of his cock.
“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel groaned, all of the muscles in his stomach already pulling taut when he felt you dragging your tongue in a slow, purposeful lick along the length of him. “Babygirl.”
“Is that good?” you asked him, sounding hopeful. “Am I doing good?”
“Doin’ so, so fuckin’ good for me, sweetheart. Look so fuckin’ pretty down on your knees for me.”
Pleased, you wrapped your mouth around the head of his length, pressing forward and taking him in as far as you possibly could—which, in all fairness, wasn’t very far. At least not as far as you would have liked. Another groan tore itself from the depths of his chest as your plush, plump lips sealed around him, your tongue warm and wet on the underside of his cock. Moving both of your hands to rest on the sides of his thighs, you began to move your head back and forth, following what felt most natural to you. The nerves you initially felt slowly but surely dissipated, vanishing one by one with every curse, every tremble, every sharp breath.
Joel resisted the urge to buck his hips forward, fought the desire to feel himself at the back of your throat. He needed to be gentle, so careful with such an innocent, pliant thing who had much, much to learn. “Sweet little fuckin’ mouth feels so good around my cock, baby, just like I fuckin’ knew it would. Y’think it can take more of me, little dove? Hm?”
You hummed, the vibration intensifying his pleasure.
“Yeah? Y’trust me?”
Your reply came in the form of a muffled, “Mhm.”
Joel reached down and cradled the back of your head in the palm of his hand. He carefully guided you further onto his throbbing length, slowly feeding you one inch at a time. Your fingers dug into the denim of his jeans. He was much more than a mouthful for you, and you could only take about half of him before he hit the back of your throat, prompting you to gag around him. Drool dribbled out from the corners of your mouth and down the sides your chin, dripping onto your lap.
“Oh fuck, sweetheart. Yeah, that’s it. Little more now, honey,” Joel encouraged. He bucked his hips forward, his head slipping further down your throat. Just when you felt like you were about to choke, he pulled out and you tried your hardest not to cough and sputter as you took in a much needed, precious breath of air. He gave you a few seconds or so to finish catching your breath as he shoved his jeans and boxer briefs further down his legs. He stepped out of the articles of clothing and kicked them somewhere off to the aside, standing before you completely bare. “Open up.”
Your absolute devotion to him bred sweet submission, so as worried as you were that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, you nodded obediently and very willingly did as you were told. 
He guided himself right back into your waiting mouth, pressing deeply. You tried to relax your jaw, reminding yourself to breathe in and out through your nose. Tears streamed down the sides of your face as you did your best to forestall another gag. “Little bit more,” he said, thrusting his hips in a slow, steady controlled rhythm. He advanced even further into your mouth—trusting he wouldn’t suffocate you, nor push you too far past your limits, you opened up wider. He moaned, “Yeah, baby. That’s my good girl. That’s my good fuckin’ girl.”
With a bit of newfound confidence, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him. You swiped your tongue along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock, earning yourself more of his sweet, sweet praise.
“Fuck, yeah, suck me off, sweetheart. This pretty little mouth was fuckin’ made for sin,” he breathed, guiding your head back and forth with a firm, but gentle hand.
You moaned, the noise muffled around his length. Slick soaked through your panties and coated the insides of your thighs. With another moan, you tightly squeezed your legs together, inwardly reminding yourself that patience was a virtue.
Noticing the way you had shifted, Joel moved his hand from the back of your head, lightly curling his fingers around your jaw. He pulled you off of his cock, a loud, lewd popping sound bouncing off the sage green walls of his bedroom. “C’mere, baby.” He grabbed your arms, effortlessly hoisting you up to your feet.
“What’s wrong?” you questioned him worriedly. “Did I do something wrong?”
Chuckling softly, he brushed a finger along the strap of your dress. You could do no wrong, his perfect, perfect girl. “Of course not, sweet girl. You did so fuckin’ good for me,” Joel reassured you, lightly tracing along your collarbone with his finger and making your flesh erupt in goosebumps. He leaned forward and feathered a kiss onto your lips, murmuring against them, “Are you wet, little dove?”
Before you could even process the query and generate some kind of coherent response, he dove his opposite hand between your thighs, cupping your warm heat in his palm. At this, your weak knees buckled, prompting you to reach out and grab onto his arms to hold steady and keep yourself from falling into a helpless heap on the floor.
“Oh, honey. You’re soaked. That what sucking my cock does to you?” he cooed. He peppered another kiss, this one onto the corner of your mouth. His voice lowered another octave. “Poor little thing. She needs me, don’t she? Needs me to take care of her?”
You whimpered. “Yes.”
“Manners, babygirl,” he reminded you, skimming your cheek with his nose. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, please.”
Humming in approval, Joel withdrew his hand from in between your legs and guided you backwards towards his bed. “Sit,” he commanded gently, bidding you to let go of him. “Arms up.”
Reaching for the hem of your dress, he took great care in pulling it over your head, then discarded the vibrant yellow material over his shoulder, leaving you in nothing but your cowboy boots and thin, cotton white panties. Without a word, he knelt before you and pulled off one boot, and then the other, setting them both aside. He hooked two fingers underneath the elastic waistband of your underwear, coaxing you to lift your bottom off of the bed, just long enough for him to pull them down and slide them down your legs. He was so tender in the manner in which he undressed you.
“Fuckin’ beautiful, beautiful girl,” Joel praised. His dark gaze dragged down the length of your body as you sat before him wearing nothing but the delicate, gold chain around your neck. The holy cross nestled between your supple breasts gleamed in the light of the lamp on the nightstand. He would leave it on until your decision was made, set in stone. “My pretty little dove.”
“Joel.” You whimpered his name, hands curling around fistfuls of his dark blue sheets. You were drenched now, in dire need of some relief. If he didn’t touch you where you needed him most, you would surely lose your mind.
Desperate, you leaned back slightly onto his bed and parted your knees, your folds glistening as you showed him just how badly you needed him.
Joel groaned, almost visibly salivating at the sight. The blazing heat in his eyes sent ripples of desire coursing through your body, straight to your throbbing core.
You opened wider. “Please.”
“Christ, babygirl. Already soakin’ the sheets.” Sliding a finger up along the seam of your pussy, he grazed your clit, the touch light, but somehow still enough to make your hips arch off the mattress as white-hot pinpricks of pleasure danced their way up your spine. He lowered his head and leaned in, your sweet scent drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Just when you were about to start pleading him for more, he dipped his face into the apex of your thighs, his mouth finally, finally, meeting your wet heat.
“Oh!” you gasped, your head falling back. “Fuck!”
Against you, his lips curled upwards into a wicked grin. He’d never heard you curse before, not until now.
Joel took his time devouring you, savoring the essence of your cunt with each broad stroke of his tongue. Sealing his lips around your clit, he flicked the swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves over and over again, eliciting from you some of the sweetest noises that he had ever heard in his entire life. In preparation for what you both knew was to come, he pushed one finger inside of you, the invasion causing you to fist his sheets even harder. He then slipped in a second finger, groaning in sheer, carnal bliss at how your walls squeezed them, at the mere thought of them squeezing his cock in the same manner. How was it that you felt so much tighter this time around?
“Oh God.”
You shouldn’t be saying His name. Not like this.
Not when something this sinful was being done to you.
Hungrily, Joel lapped at you, curling both of his fingers in an upwards motion to hit the perfect spot. He knew you were close, felt it in the way that you squirmed and writhed. Draping his arm across your hips, he pinned them down onto the bed, holding you still as he chased your high as if it were his own.
“Joel,” you chanted his name over and over again in a fevered prayer. Releasing the sheets, your hands found his hair, tangling themselves in his curls. Your head fell back, and you cursed at the ceiling of his bedroom. “Fuck, fuck, fuck Joel—”
Pushing onto his mouth, you came, moaning his name so loudly you were certain the whole neighborhood was getting an earful.
Joel pulled back, his beard and mustache slicked with your spend. “S’right, honey,” he crooned, his digits still buried to the knuckle as he helped you to ride out your wave of ecstasy. Eventually, when he pulled them out, you tried closing your shaking legs. He tsked and shook his head, wrenching them open further. “No, no, baby. Keep those pretty thighs open for me. Wanna see her.” He admired his work, his cock twitching at the sight of your pussy, swollen and shining, and ready to take him.
Like earlier, there was another brief skip in time.
Mind still in a haze, you hadn’t even realized that he’d risen to his feet and guided you further up onto his bed, not until you were lying on your back with your head on his pillow and he was hovering over you, his hard length brushing against one of your messy, inner thighs when he settled himself between your legs. 
Your heart began to pound in a mingle of both fear and excitement.
Joel’s eyes met yours. His pupils were blown so wide, there was not one, single trace of brown anywhere to be seen. “Y’absolutely sure about this, little dove?”
Your response came without hesitation. “Yes. I’m sure.”
He pressed a kiss to the underside of your jaw. Your submission was a gift, and he would cherish every last second of your surrender to him, savor it for as long as he possibly could. His lips, soft and warm, skimmed along the column of your throat, leaving a trail of fresh goosebumps in their wake.
If, by some chance, you decided that you wanted to go back to your father and to your faith, Joel didn’t know how he would find it in himself to let you go, not after this. Of course, he would have to let go, though.
The last thing he wanted was to help free you from one cage just to stick you right back into another. While he was no stranger to loss, he had to admit to himself that to lose you would be a knife to whatever was left of his heart.
Shoving the thought out of his mind, he reached down and gripped the base of his cock, pumping it in his fist before running the leaking head along your puffy lips, coating himself in your wetness with the hope it would ease some of the pain you were bound to feel. “Ready, babygirl?” he asked you, lightly teasing your entrance. “Might hurt a bit. M’gonna go slow. Just need you to relax for me, alright?”
“Okay.”
“I’ve got you,” he promised.
You nodded, saying softly, “I know.”
Though he knew he had all of your trust, Joel could still sense your anxiousness. He reached out for your hand, lacing your fingers together with his own as he gingerly pressed forward and eased himself into you, taking the very innocence you had been taught your entire life to preserve, one slow, careful inch at a time.
“Oh—Joel!” You cried loudly at the initial stretch, your pretty face scrunching in discomfort. Tightly slamming your eyes shut, sparks flew behind your eyelids when he finally bottomed out. The burning sting in between your thighs was too overwhelming, almost impossible to cope with. He felt so enormous within you, you could have sworn he was in your belly. Another broken cry fell from your lips and he swallowed it with a comforting kiss.
“Jesus Christ,” he hissed against your lips, a thin sheen of sweat coating his brow, neck, and chest. He wasn’t sure where he found the strength, but he suppressed his urge to thrust. Instead, he dropped his face into the hollow of your neck and waited, giving you the chance to adjust to him. He mumbled against your skin. “Doin’ so good for me, sweet girl. Y’know that? You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me.”
Even in discomfort, you preened at his praise.
He squeezed your hand, and after a minute, he gave an experimental thrust of his hips—and then another and another before he ceased his movement once again. He was so big and you were so deliciously full of him.
Eventually, the pain subsided, and you found yourself asking, no, begging for more. “Move.” Your other hand found itself cupping the side of his face, coaxing him to lift his head and allowing your gazes to meet. Your soft, plush thighs parted further to help accommodate the breadth of his hips. “Please, Joel. I need you to move—I need you to fuck me.”
Surely, you would be the death of him.
He drew his hips back with cautious, tender care, then advanced in the same manner to fill your precious cunt all over again. He did it over and over, your pleasured moans encouraging him to begin picking up the pace. He drove his cock in and out of your weeping pussy, the slapping of flesh against flesh, the lewd, wet squelch of you around him inspiring him to fuck you harder, faster. And the noises you were making?
There was something oh so beautiful about your cries, sweet raptures of submission as you laid there beneath him, all too graciously taking everything he had to give you like the good, good, good girl you were for him.
“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” Joel rasped. “Look at you—look at the way you take my fuckin’ cock, honey.”
And you did.
Glancing down, your gaze fell between your bodies and you watched in awe, openly marveled at the way Joel slid in and out of your cunt, how he knocked hard so deeply inside of you, driving himself as far as he could possibly go.
“Fuck Joel, I’m gonna—” You tried warning him as the pressure in your belly neared its peak, but you tumbled over the edge before you even had the chance to finish your sentence. Arching up off off the bed, you pressed your chest against his, your fingers squeezing his own so hard you feared you might break them.
“That’s it babygirl, let go,” he grunted, speeding up his thrusts. “Squeeze my fuckin’ cock—just like that. Good girl. My perfect, perfect girl.”
You didn’t quite get the chance to let the praise sink in.
Joel pulled himself out of you, and with ease, he flipped you over onto your belly. His hands gripped your hips and pulled them up off the mattress, his fingers moving to firmly knead the fleshiest part of your ass. He leaned over you, the head of his cock nudging at your hole. “Y’think you can handle a little bit more, sweetheart?” he whispered the question into a tumble of messy hair, the delicate scent of the lavender shampoo you used to wash it filling his senses. “Answer me, little dove.”
“Yes,” you replied breathlessly with a nod. “I can.”
With a satisfied hum, Joel sank into you, this second stretch not quite as overwhelming at the first, but still intense. “Relax,” he murmured, hunching further over your quivering back. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head and then leaned down to brace his hands on either side of you. “Need you to be sweet for me just a bit longer, okay, baby?”
“God,” you whimpered when the heaviness of his balls came to rest on your sensitive clit.
It was the second time you’d uttered His name.
Joel almost grinned at the irony. He found his rhythm, groaning in gut-deep satisfaction with each snap of his hips—each smooth stroke in and each smooth stroke out.
“Oh fuck, sweet girl.” Heaven was indeed a real place, and Joel Miller was buried in it to the hilt, right at this very moment.
He was getting closer and closer.
Maybe it was your eagerness to help him reach his own release mingled with the pride you knew you would feel once you did that gave you a second wind, a fresh, new burst of energy. You planted your hands firmly on his pillow. Rolling your bottom lip between your teeth, you curved your spine and pushed back onto Joel with purpose, meeting his thrusts halfway as you rode his aching length to the satiation that waited for him at the end.
“There’s my girl,” he rasped. “Oh fuckin’ Christ—”
No way he could live his life without you now.
He needed you.
He needed you so much more than you needed him.
Joel slipped an arm around your shoulders, across your chest.
“Oh!” you gasped as he then yanked you back, pulling you flush against him. The rough crash of your back against his chest, combined with the angle in which he was fucking you knocked the wind out of your lungs.
His lips were at the shell of your ear. “Stay,” he panted, his breath hot against your cheekbone. He wrapped his other hand lightly around your throat. Relentless, were his hips now—his movements had become frantic. Desperate. “Stay with me, baby.”
Even as you fought to catch your breath in the position he had you in, you picked up on the fact that he wasn’t asking you of it, nor was he demanding you of it.
He was begging you.
Him, the most feared man in this town. Begging you?
“Joel,” you choked.
“Please, my little dove,” he pleaded, turning your head towards him. His mouth was then on the corner of your own, his beard roughly scratching the soft and delicate flesh of your cheek. “I need you, babygirl. Stay with me. Please, just fuckin’ stay with me.”
Your hands curled around his wrists. “Yes, I’ll stay,” you moaned. “I’m yours, Joel. I’m all yours. I—I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’ll stay with you.”
A low, guttural sound rumbled through his chest. Joel firmly took hold of your cross, and without so much as a warning, he ripped the chain from around your neck and tossed it somewhere over his shoulder. He heard it land on the hardwood floor with the tiniest, faint clink the moment he spilled into you, ropes of warm release coating your fluttering walls. Curses and groans spilled from his lips and into your neck. Your cunt clutched at his pulsing cock, greedy for every last drop of his spend she could get.  
Once you were filled, you both collapsed beside each other on the bed, heaving to catch a steady breath.
“Y’okay, sweetheart?” Joel managed to ask, his chest still rising and falling rapidly.
Exhausted, all you could do was nod and utter, “Mhm.”
He exhaled an amused huff through his nose. “C’mere.” He reached for you and pulled you against his side. He draped an arm around your shoulders, holding you as close to him as was possible. “Y’did so good, honey.”
Your mouth curled into a small, contented smile.
Several minutes had passed by, and despite telling him that you were too tired to even think about moving, Joel made you get up and use the bathroom, and while you did so, he ran a clean washcloth under warm water. “Here, darlin’. Let me clean you up,” he’d said, his lips meeting your forehead in a loving token of affection before he sank down onto one knee and ran the damp cloth along the insides of your thighs. He took extreme care when he wiped at your swollen folds, knowing you were still sensitive to the touch. “There we go. All done, now.”
Not long after, you were both back in his bed, wrapped up in his sheets.
Yawning, you nuzzled into bare his chest, your eyelids feeling heavier and heavier with each and every second that ticked by. You’d started drifting off when you heard his voice.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?” you answered sleepily, eyes still closed.
“Did you mean what you said?”
“Mean what, Joel?”
There was a brief pause. “Y’know, when you said you’d stay with me.”
Snuggling closer to him, you mumbled, “Mhm. Of course I did.”
“S’not gonna be easy,” Joel murmured into your hair.
“I know.” You yawned. “But I have you.”
“You do. You’ve got me—and I’ve got you, babygirl.”
“Mm. I know that too, Joel.”
You felt him kiss the top of your head and then fell fast asleep in his arms.
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The sun bloomed over the Grand Tetons.
Your father would wake soon, that’s to say if he wasn’t up already.
The nerves began to set in.
Joel must have sensed it. “Breathe, baby. S’gonna be okay,” he soothed, squeezing your hand.
With one of his warmer, heavier jackets that normally didn’t see the light of day until winter season draped around your shoulders, the two of you made your way down the road and towards your house. Or better said, towards your father’s house. Because after what you were about to do, that yellow and white cottage would no longer be a place you could call home.
He led you up to the porch. “Y’sure you don’t want me to go in there with you?” he asked, quietly.
You could have laughed. You almost did.
“Do you believe that to be a wise choice?”
“No, I reckon it ain’t the best idea,” Joel admitted with a sigh, raking his free hand through his unkempt, salt and pepper hair. He looked up at the house, then back at you. “Look, little dove. No matter what happens in there, just know that everythin’ will be alright. M’gonna take care of you. For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. I’ll try my hardest to be everythin’ you need.”
“You already are, Joel,” you said, your gaze earnest.
His chest swelled with warmth.
Truth be told, Joel didn’t know how he had managed to defy the odds—how he, of all people, had managed to make his way into that sweet, innocent, beautiful little heart of yours, but somehow he did, and he would not take this responsibility lightly.
He brushed your lips with his and promised, “Gonna be waitin’ right here, okay?”
“Okay.” Inhaling deeply, you willed yourself to let go of his hand and took a step back. You then started up the porch steps on wobbling legs. When you made it to the top, you glanced over your shoulder at Joel, who gave you a subtle nod of encouragement. Exhaling slowly, you reached for the knob with trembling fingers and turned it, opening the door. You stepped inside, your heart dropping into your stomach when you saw your father sitting there at the foot of the staircase, as if he’d been waiting for you. He had been waiting for you. Fully dressed, he sat on the second to last step with both hands folded on his bible in his lap, a rosary clutched between them. “Papa?”
He said nothing. Instead, he silently observed you—his eyes glazed over the men’s jacket and the short dress you were underneath it, the disheveled, loose hair and kiss swollen lips. Your holy cross nowhere to be seen.
“Papa.” You swallowed harshly and shifted your weight anxiously from the heel of one boot to the other. “We, um—we really need to have a talk.”
He peered around you, catching a brief glimpse of the man standing outside, waiting for you at the foot of the porch.
He cleared his throat, lightly. “Yes, child. I suppose that we do.”
Nodding tightly, you turned around and slowly closed the door. Joel’s words rang in your mind over and over, giving you the push of strength you knew you would need.
I’ve got you.
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divider credit goes to @saradika 🤍
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slut4lrh · 2 months
Text
lover ; LN4
pairing(s) ; lando norris x swiftie!reader
summary ; in which y/n just wants to post pictures of her boyfriend, not expecting people to get the wrong idea
warnings ; smau, lots of fluff
note ; its 3am and i didn’t want to sleep til i finished this so idk what mistakes there probably is lmao😭 also just pretend the twitter stuff says 2024 i cba changing it all
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instagram ; yourusername
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liked by nando4lorris, carlossainz55 and others
yourusername i saw the dimples first and then i heard the accent 💓☺️
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user1 who are you
carlossainz55 you tagged the wrong account silly
yourusername you replied with the wrong account moron
nando4lorris you two aren’t slick
yourusename yeah ok mr nando lorris
nando4lorris you’re supposed to be on my side wtf
user2 i’m so lost 😭😭
user3 i’m confused someone explain
user4 babe everyone’s confused
user5 wait so is this carlos’ gf or not
user6 idk who you are but you’re hot as fuck
user7 ok i swear i’ve seen carlos wear that top in the 4th pic before
user8 yeah i think i’ve seen lando wearing it too tho
user9 but lando isn’t in this girls likes and comments
nando4lorris yeah guys you’re right she’s gotta be carlos’ girlfriend
yourusername nando4lorris fuck off i hate you so much 😭😭😭😭😭
user10 ????????
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instagram ; yourusername
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liked by landonorris, nando4lorris and others
yourusername i’d like to hang out with you for my whole life 🤗🧡
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user1 crying because lando liked on his main AND his burner (confirmed)
yourusername p.s. the tag in these pics is for PHOTO CREDS 😁
user2 LMFAOOO HER COMMENT
user3 girl said my mans is NOT carlos sainz jr🙅‍♀️
user4 i have so much to say
user5 the taylor love lyrics, the orange heart emoji, the flowers, the ladybugs, THE CAT CARDIGAN
user6 i think i would die for her
nando4lorris 🧡🧡
yourusername 🥰
carlossainz55 i thought you guys were still trying to be sneaky
yourusername carlos you’re the one making it hard to be sneaky
user7 oh it’s so lando
carlossainz55 oh well it’s been 4 years everyone already knew
user8 ITS BEEN WHAT JEHFKSKKS ????????
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instagram ; landonorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and others
landonorris i’ve loved you (five) summers now honey but i want them all 😁😁
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user1 oh my god
user2 FIVEEEEE SUMMERS????? EVEN MORE THAN CARLOS SAID !/?;&2!@:9(
carlossainz55 i’m sorry i just guessed how many years because i didn’t know exactly just that its been a long long time
yourusername it’s ok carlos you were close
user3 SHES BEEN TO RACES AND NO ONES EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HER OH MY GOD
maxverstappen1 finally mate
oscarpiastri wooo secrets out 🥳
user4 he used a taylor lyric for the caption im gonna be sick
user5 if you zoom in on the second pic you can actually see me drowning myself in the background
ciscanorris1 💓💓
yourusername love you🥰
user6 wait i don’t have twitter can someone explain
user7 oh BABE you’ve got some catching up to do
yourusername my fav boy love you to saturn ☺️🧡
landonorris i love you more than you love taylor swift🥰
yourusername ok settle down babe don’t go too far
landonorris no sorry you’re right
user8 when he understands that ones love for taylor is never beaten >>>>>
user9 i need them biblically
user10 i still don’t understand how they hid her for 5 years lmfaoooo
user11 yourusername ok y/n but did he take you to the eras tour
yourusername he got us tickets for a uk show later this year 🥰🥰
user12 now, how’d that curly haired vroom vroom bitch pull HER
liked by landonorris!
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casualhedonists · 5 months
Text
✩ it don’t need your loving, it just needs attention ✩ (chapter two)
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pairing: Coriolanus Snow x reader
chapter: 2/?
MASTERLIST
warnings: NSFW (18+), snow being snow, themes of sex work (not the reader), cuckolding, eventual smut, fake relationship, unprotected sex, themes of voyeurism & mild exhibitionism, murder mention (but no actual murder) (not yet at least?), MAJOR manipulation/gross power dynamics + generally darkish themes, some power play, oral sex, thigh riding, eventual piv, i’m new to full on smut bear with me here (and pls tell me if i forgot anything!)
i do not give permission for my work to be reposted/translated anywhere, under any circumstances.
a/n: first off, THANK YOU for the love on chapter 1. wasn’t sure how I’d fare since I’ve done a lot of writing in my life but little to no smut. with that said! longer chapter incoming. also I just know he’d give insane head okay i just do,the guy looks like he fucks and he definitely does
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You weren't sure exactly how you slipped away from Snow’s room that night, but you could somewhat piece it together in flashes. First a head rush, then the fire in the pit of your stomach practically having gasoline thrown on it.
You remembered a quiet gasp escaping your lips, then panic, a flash of white, and suddenly you were stumbling away, head spinning as you tried to catch your breath, pacing unevenly down the hallway, any chance of a stealthy escape long thrown out the window.
Back in your room, once the door was bolted and your back was against it, making sure nobody could get in if they tried, you had your first shot at clear-headedness since you’d heard heels scuffing the hardwood.
You’d soaked your panties through and were dripping down your thighs, but you’d be damned if you could get into the headspace to take care of it. Panic flooded your veins, ice-hot as you tried to catch your breath. you slid down the door and sat there, legs numb against the cold wooden planks.
Who was she? A million questions filled your head all at once. Was she from the Capitol? Could she be one of Snow’s friends, one of your friends? The thought made you sick. What if you’d dined with her before? Talked to her? How long had this been happening? Who knew about it? Were you being played?
Had he seen you watching him?
Unable to help yourself, your one-track mind took you back to the way he’d groaned your name, though you were half sure that had been a fever dream of some kind. Still, you kept replaying it. Over and over, like a broken record.
It didn’t make any sense, you were so fucking confused. All this time you’d been hoping he would make a move, you’d practically begged him to. Why hadn’t he? When you were clearly on his mind, and yet he made you believe he didn’t think of you that way at all. Was he just respecting your agreement?
You fiddled with the lace on the hem of your slip as you mulled it over. You stayed sat like this for almost an hour, trying unsuccessfully to wrap your head around it. When you ended up right back where you started, and you were sure enough time had passed that if someone was coming to get you, they would’ve already, you finally stood up. Your caution led you to drag a chair from across the room, propping it up by the door to jam the handle. That left you with the sliver of peace of mind you required to shower off this cold sweat you’d formed.
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The next morning, you dreaded breakfast. But you knew you had to face him, as well as the fact that this could very well be your last meal. You should at least try to eat well.
You made your way downstairs, a few minutes later than usual, enough for Coriolanus to already be sipping coffee, a few pages through his newspaper. You’d not got fully dressed yet, not wanting the contrast to be too obvious, but you’d wrapped a silk dressing gown around you so you were a little more covered up. You knew one thing for certain, you wouldn’t be trying any more of your tricks until you knew just what you were dealing with.
He didn’t look over at you, which you took as a good sign. The urge to hide from him, from what you’d seen and what you now knew, overwhelmed you. You didn’t say a word, and picked silently at your breakfast, but despite your best efforts, not managing to keep more than a few bites down.
“You’re quiet today.” He muttered, and you started.
“Um.”
He lowered his paper.
“Something wrong?”
How about everything?
“Oh, no, I’m okay. Just uh…” you glanced up at him, and met his sharp gaze. Fuck. You’d hoped you’d go unnoticed. You felt like a deer in headlights, like he could read your mind.
“Well?” He prompted, gaze unwavering. You blinked.
“Headache.” You managed to breathe, faking a small, pitiful smile.
He brought his paper back up in front of him, crisply turning the page. You both thanked the new barrier between you for cutting off his stare, and resented it as you looked at the tiny printed words you couldn’t make out from where you were sitting.
“I’ll have Lucille bring you up something.”
“Thank you.” you said quickly, almost too quickly, and you feared he might lower his paper again to watch you as you stumbled over another excuse. But you fell lucky this time.
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The week seemed to pass in a blur, Monday’s gala being one of the only times you really left your room when Snow was around, other than meal times, which you spent in a similar state as that first breakfast. You cursed yourself for throwing out your longer dresses, and settled for the least suggestive of them, the white one you’d been thinking of pitching to Snow as a backup plan in your panicked state outside his bedroom. That all felt worlds away now. What you’d seen had shifted the tides, marking a solid, definitive line in your head between the before and after.
The gala went as well as it could given the circumstances. You danced, Snow was charming to you in front of the guests, but held your gaze no longer than usual. It was simultaneously terrifying and thrilling to feel his hands on your waist, knowing what you knew. It felt like you’d been tapped with a cattle prod and had to hide it every time his hand brushed yours on top of the dinner table, as unsuspecting guests smiled at you, the happy couple.
If only they knew that in the same breath, you were scanning the crowd, wondering who the blonde could’ve been, how close she was to Snow, if at all, and hating the way every touch he placed on your hands and waist served as a reminder that he’d been touching her instead of you.
Your stupid brain had formed a highlight reel of what you’d witnessed behind Snow’s door, and it tortured you with every passing moment. To know he was thinking of you. To think that maybe, he wanted you there instead. It put a strange sense of possessive pride into you, that weaved between your jealousy. Because yes, you’d seen another girl on her knees with her mouth around him, but you hadn’t heard any name other than your own while it happened.
You carried this strange hope, dwindling to start off, and then building each day that you were left un-hanged and very much alive, slowly chipping away at your fear of the worst. And yet, you knew the game, unbeknownst to Snow, had been fundamentally changed. You’d stopped your antics altogether, now barely meeting his eye as you passed each other in the hallway, covering up more at breakfast, and only talking just enough to avoid another interrogation. Avoiding touch, and conversation, and all-around keeping yourself away from him.
You were quieter still at night in your room. After a few days, you’d finally felt safe enough to move the chair away and sleep with the door locked as you normally would. But while your games had stopped, your want for him had only been amplified. Fuelled by jealousy and frustration, you had to bite down on your hand so that not even the slightest noise made its way out as you pictured him, not as you used to in your fantasies, but as you’d seen him that night, undone with your name on his lips. It was much easier, in your head, to picture yourself as the one on your knees. Any other fantasy just failed to make the cut now you’d seen the real thing.
Thursday rolled around and you’d made a new habit of pacing the downstairs library when Coriolanus was out of the house. That way, if he got home and stepped inside, you could pretend to be lost in a book. But the hours seemed to stretch out and you became bored, and with no Snow in sight, you decided to head down to the servants’ quarters.
This wasn’t a common occurrence, but it wasn’t unheard of. You were known for your gentleness among the house staff, less harsh than Snow, but firm nonetheless. It had led you to a respectful friendliness with the maids and servants, and once every so often you’d check in on them.
Today’s objectives, however, were purely self-motivated. You found Lucille, who dressed you, at the kitchen table, chopping vegetables.
She stood upon seeing you, and curtseyed (Snow was rather old fashioned that way). You nodded, then took a seat at the foot of the table.
“Do you need any help with that?” You glanced at the cutting board.
Lucille’s eyes widened. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Ma’am.”
You laughed. Lucille chopped and diced, and you asked questions. At first, they were after her family, her brother was sick and despite your offers, she wouldn’t accept help. So instead you listened, and slowly but surely, your questions got a little more directed toward the object of your interest.
You were good at playing the long game, so you started by asking about the company he kept. What she thought of them, with the promise that it would stay between the two of you, cross your heart.
She wouldn’t say much but she knew a little more than you; Snow kept very similar company as you did, and rarely went out for social visits. Any trips were strictly work-related, and when you eased into the topic of his past, Lucille mentioned, in very polite terms, that he had left a small trail of women heartbroken after a short period of time. That not all of them had been pleasant, and that she was pleased you seemed to have a positive effect on him.
She knew about your arrangement, practically the whole staff did, but they were kept on a very tight leash and were thoroughly reminded to not say a word acknowledging it, not even to you. It was with a knowing glance that Lucille told you she was happy you’d stayed around.
You smiled. Knowing that was likely all you were going to get for now, you let her be. By then, it was late enough to have gone dark, and you headed up to bed.
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You awoke to creaking outside your door, and the shadow of footsteps from underneath it. You’d been tossing and turning for the last - you checked your watch - two hours. Excellent. You rolled onto your back wondering who it was, and then you heard it again. At first you wondered if it was just a sleep-deprived hallucination, or a sense of deja-vu, but then you focused, and there it was. The sound of heels. Again.
You sat up in bed, pushing your hair out of your face. You were enraged the first time, but if this was becoming a Thursday night tradition, it would be a serious problem. You were tired, you reasoned, you could just try to go back to sleep. Ignore it. Not let him have this power over you, a power that he didn’t even know he had. All the more reason to ignore it, and make it tomorrow’s problem.
But you just couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie, no matter how hard you tried. Your mother used to say it was a problem, always sticking your nose in places it didn’t belong. But it had got you this far, hadn't it?
You knew you were going to follow her to Snow’s room again, it was just a matter of time. You had to at least pretend you had an ounce of self-control, whereas really your head was thrumming and you knew it would take getting hit by a high-speed train to send you back to sleep now.
So you held off. Five minutes passed. Then ten. You had to know, at least, what they were doing. Maybe you could get a look at her face, see who it was, and answer some of the questions you had.
So you went. With a purpose this time, knowing full well what and who you’d end up seeing, trying to take steady breaths and focus on your plan. Check who it was, then leave.
You’d never been that great at execution. Call it hedonism, call it a morbid fascination, or living vicariously, but when you walked up to the door - which was ajar again, strangely even more than last time, by at least an inch or two - you looked inside, and your feet planted. The last shred of your self-control allowed you to take in the room first, the desk and chair that was right within your sight, and as you tucked yourself into the room, half hidden behind the door, you finally looked back at the bed where you’d seen Snow with his blonde girl last time.
Neither of them were sitting now.
Thirty seconds ago, you would’ve believed the hottest thing you’d ever seen was what played out in this room last week. But that was before you saw Snow turned away from you, still fully dressed with his sleeves rolled up, stomach on the bed and face between the blonde’s thighs, eating her out like he was on death row and she was his last meal.
You’d gotten head before. You knew it felt good, but the boys you’d slept with before your arrangement with Snow were selfish and inattentive. They would try, but they were far more interested in getting their dicks wet than showing you a good time. But Snow - you’d never seen anything like it. You didn’t know it could feel that good, or at least, not as good as the blonde girl - who you noted in the back of your mind, wasn’t anyone you recognised - was making it look. Her hips were bucking so hard he was having to pin her down with both hands around her waist.
She was just moving so much, wriggling and crying out and gasping and - you didn’t think you’d ever truly known jealousy until that moment. You couldn’t look away, knees weak and hands shaking, letting yourself get sucked into this headspace again, losing all trace of rationality. You’d think she was playing it up for him, but you knew what that sounded like. You’d faked enough orgasms to know if she was, but this? This was real. As she got close, grinding into him, writhing, running a shaky hand through his hair then getting louder, you managed to snap out of your trance.
In a flash, you ran back down the hallway.
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If you thought you were avoiding Snow before, this week was about to give you a run for your money. You took breakfast in your room, and kept only to the parts of the house you knew he never entered. You only touched yourself in the shower, silent cries washed away by the water and steam, paranoia backing you into a corner.
You feigned illness the one time Snow sent a maid to inquire after you. Nothing too major, but enough to put him off. When he left the house, you snuck into the library to smuggle books back to your room, a pile forming as you tried ceaselessly to distract yourself.
You wrote home, you studied art and history. You attempted a few terrible sketches. You tore apart your room, then put it back together.
Before you knew it, Thursday rolled around again. On longer days like this, when Snow had been away working for hours at a time, you’d doubled down on your efforts to get information, and after chipping away for just long enough, you finally managed to squeeze some tidbits out of Lucille. Namely that there was a certain gentleman’s club in the city that he used to frequent before his election as President. Snow’s old driver might know its name, she said.
“But that was long before he met you, ma’am, rest assured.” She added hurriedly.
“Of course. Thank you, Lucille. I think I’ve kept you for long enough. Goodnight.”
Snow had been gone for the whole day, and you weren’t sure if he’d come home yet, so as you headed up to your room, you quietly wandered a little further down the hallway, to check if there was any light beneath his door. There wasn’t. Good. You were glad he wouldn’t be continuing this routine of his. Maybe this Thursday night, you could sleep peacefully.
With a sigh, and mulling over what you’d learned today, you returned to your room, poured a drink, then collapsed into bed.
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This night was as sleepless as the rest, and you’d been drifting - not uncomfortably - in and out. A storm was brewing outside, and the sounds of howling wind began to keep you alert. You rolled onto your back and stared at the ceiling, then glanced towards your door. Snow must’ve come home at some point, and very late at that, because dim lights had been turned on in the hallway. Paranoia crept into your mind, slowly poisoning your thoughts and turning you inside out.
It didn’t take long before the feeling pushed you to roll out of bed, slide on a dressing gown, and crack open your door. This time, you couldn’t hear footsteps, or anything that might arise suspicion. You closed the door again. Waited. Then looked around your room, at the messy sheets and the half finished glass of liquor on the nightstand. You rarely drank alone, but these past few weeks had been getting to you, fucking with your head. Coriolanus Snow had driven you to this.
The wind got louder, and you knew you were too wired to sleep, so you stood by your window and finished the glass.
You’d never been good with mysteries. You wanted to know everything, all the time. Know who had power over you, know precisely how to take it away. Know exactly what was happening around you at any given moment. But most of all, you didn’t like being played for a fool.
And sure, the ethics of it had never been discussed between the two of you. Your business was strictly professional, but when you weren’t allowed to sleep around, why could he?
In fact, how dare he?
You poured another glass, straight whiskey. Downed it, pacing your room, back and forth between the door and the window, running your fingers along the ridges of the crystal glass. You thought about him, comfortably in his room, not a care in the world.
How dare he.
You weren’t sure if it was the drink or the buildup of your situation that had your blood boiling, but it didn’t matter. You were incensed. His behaviour was an insult to your name, to your family’s name. Sure, this relationship was a sham, but all the more reason for him to act with basic fucking respect. Sleeping with - and very obviously, at that - a whore, who had a bad habit of leaving the door cracked open, was unacceptable.
You were running hot, and if you knew one thing for certain, it was that when Snow met with fire, he was going to melt. You’d make sure of it.
Your feet took you into the hallway, with the decidedness that this would be the last time.
You rushed down the corridor with a tightly bottled rage that was about to burst, words hot on your tongue and demanding to be spoken, until you turned the corner and saw Snow’s door half open. You stopped in your tracks. Reassessed, then stepped closer, slowly, steadily. Remembering what you were there for.
Then, as you got close enough to see inside - right there, without you even having to step past the threshold, were the two of them, lit by a table lamp, Snow sat on the desk chair as the girl rode him to high heaven, obscene noises getting louder. As you approached you saw Snow’s face again, eyes shut, breath laboured, and you couldn’t believe that anyone just walking by would be able to see this. They were fucking like animals, out in the open. You didn’t know how or why you drew closer still, closing in on them. The girl’s head was dropped down to his shoulder, back facing you, and couldn’t see you unless she turned, but Snow? He was practically facing the door, almost as if he’d been…
No. It couldn’t be. Could it?
But you didn’t have time to think it through, because Snow’s eyes blinked open, and you knew. He was looking right at you, blue eyes piercing into yours, sharp and dangerous like he was going in for the kill. You stood there, jaw dropped, unable to look away. In what world could you walk in on someone like this, and feel like they held all the cards, and you none? That was how he looked at you; like you’d been there watching the whole time, and this was all a show, playing out exactly as he’d planned it. Like somehow, despite all your best efforts, he’d landed on top.
It was like he read your mind, because he wet his lips, unblinking as the blonde writhed on his lap, and fucking smirked.
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a/n: can’t wait for them to hate fuck after this (oh sorry forgot i’m the author for a sec) thanks for reading <3
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taglist: @superchatnoir07 @itsrainingreid @nycweb-slinger @lookclosernow @etfrin @resibunn @serving-targaryen-realness @harmfulb1tch @demonsnangels @superb-icarus @julesandro @gracieroxzy @slyhersophia @shadowsepiphany @ben-has-arrived @unclecrunkle @zerotwo-sciencequeen @itsleniiilosers @thesiriusmap @ooooglymoooogly @darkqweenn @going-through-shit @loverw1tch @stinkii-boii
if you’d like to be tagged, please leave a comment on the masterlist!! 💌
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sugarcoatedstarkey · 4 months
Text
Fake Boyfriend - p2
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Pairings - soft!Rafe Cameron x virgin! Fem reader
Summary - You lie to your best friend about having a boyfriend.
Warnings - none
Part one if you missed it
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You're aroused from your sleep by the piercing bright light seeping through the curtains, hitting you directly between the eyes. You let out a groan and press your face into the pillow, it feels as though you're on a boat. Your stomach churns as your brain sways within your skull. “Jesus” you mumble, pushing yourself up from the bed slightly.
Panic sets in when you don’t recognise anything in the room, your hands flying under the cover to check you were still clothed.
“God you move a lot for someone with a hangover” a voice grumbles beside you, you sit up so fast your stomach lurches and the growing headache pounds behind your eyes. “Here”.
Your eyes fall to Rafe, he lay next to you, still dressed in the clothes from last night. He has 2 pills in the palm of his hand and a bottle of water, you accept gratefully and lay back down.
Silence falls over the two of you only to be interrupted with his phone ringing, he ignores it and sits up to look at you. “I’m sorry about yesterday, my friend wouldn’t shut up about me not having a boyfriend. The lie just slipped” you speak, he nods his head but stays silent. Your eyes wander over his face trying to pick up on an emotion but it’s unreadable, his blue eyes stare back at you.
“Never had a boyfriend huh?” He smirks, his left eyebrow raises in question. Redness spreads across your cheeks, spinning your body until it hides under the blanket. “So does that mean..”.
“Oh god, this is so damn embarrassing” you exclaim, you feel sick to the stomach. Thankfully you're both pulled away when his phone rings for the second time, he answers it with a huff and pulls himself from the bed.
You peek your head out of the blanket and watch him close the bathroom door behind him, you take this moment to step out of bed. Wobbling slightly on the plush carpet, thankfully the nausea had subsided and you were just left with a headache.
You grabbed your phone from the bedside table and made a dash for it, no way were you going to wait for him knowing he had follow up questions.
You're so close to the front door when Kelsie rounds the corner, she throws her arms around you in delight. “Finally! I’ve been waiting for you to wake up, didn’t want to wake you up myself in case I walked in on something” she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at you. You nervously laughed, you probably shouldn’t let her think you were having sex. You know she’d ask for details later and you weren’t sure you could lie about that.
“Hey!” She exclaims, waving behind you. You turn to see Rafe walking towards you with a smirk on his lips, looking away quickly you nudge your friend towards the door. “We should get going” you mumble, gripping her bicep roughly. She shakes her head though just as Rafe’s arm wraps around your shoulder, he brings your back flush against his front.
Your body tingles, well aware that your bum was pressed against where his cock was tucked away. “You can’t leave yet babe, have coffee first”.
Your breath catches in your throat from the nickname, your limbs feel like jelly as you let him push you towards the kitchen. He maneuvers around the kitchen effortlessly and in silence, Kelsie sits on the stool watching him get the coffee machine ready, he turns to look at you and holds out a mug. “Thanks” you manage a smile and step over to help him, he looks down at you for a split second and then over at Kelsie who is tapping on her phone.
“Play along” he whispers, your eyes go wide when his thumb and forefinger trap your chin. Tilting your head up so he can duck down and kiss you.
You can’t stop the swarm of butterflies that are let loose in your stomach, your fingers grip the front of his white shirt. His hand pulls you in by your waist, you're trying to remind yourself this is fake. He’s just helping you out, helping you put on a show for your best friend.
“Gross! You’ve been doing god knows what all morning, let me get to know your boyfriend y/n” Kelsie cringes from her seat, dramatically covering her eyes in disgust. But the curve of her lips shows how damn excited she was for you. “What do you want to know?” Rafe questions, placing a mug down in front of her and then handing you yours.
“Everything! How long have you guys been together first?” Her eyes move between the two of you, your mouth opens but no words follow. Slamming your lips closed quickly before she notices. “Only 3 weeks, I’ve known about y/n since she came to the island 2 years ago. Just never had the courage to speak to her”.
Your brows crease together In the middle, was what he was saying true? If it wasn’t, how did he know you moved here 2 years ago?.
“That’s so sweet! Oh y/n I’m so damn happy for you! Anyway you gave me all the goss last night about the two of you, so Rafe what do you do for work?”
You sit in silence while your best friend interrogates Rafe Cameron, you hang onto every last word of his. Making mental notes about everything he was saying, you didn’t know much about Rafe Cameron.
You just knew he was rich and practically owned half the island, you heard a few things about problems with drugs when he was younger but that he got clean. He didn’t bring any of that up though and of course why would he, this whole situation was just to help you out.
“You got yourself a good one y/n! You better keep good care of her, I leave in a few days and I need to know my bestie is well looked after” she says but wiggles her eyebrows at the last part, nudging you in the ribs. You laugh with her and give him a tight smile.
“Of course, I’ll take real good care of her” he winks at you and you're so grateful for the chair that kept you from falling to the ground, one simple movement from him and you were weak at the knees. “Anyway we should get going, I promised you a trip to Charleston” you said, you made your way to the sink to wash the mug but large hands stop you as you reach for the cloth. “I got it”.
“Oh yes! I’m so excited, okay let’s go! Will see you later, yeah Rafe?” You suppress a groan, squeezing your eyes shut at your insistent friend. You open your mouth to tell her he’s got plans with friends but he’s agreeing with her and saying he’ll see you both later.
“I’ll let you say goodbye in private” she winks, skipping around the corner. When you hear the front door lock you turn to him, he’s staring at you again with his bright blue eyes.
“Thank you so much for playing along and helping me out but honestly I’ll tell her you have plans, she’ll be gone in a few days and we can pretend none of this happened”. You state, he doesn’t move from his spot or acknowledge what you’ve said for a few moments, you stare in silence.
“I’ll play your fake boyfriend y/n” he says, placing his mug into the sink and stepping towards you. “You really don’t need to, I’m apparently really good at lying” you reply, you give him an awkward thank you hug and dart out the door.
Your heart feels like it’s in your throat, rushing towards the Uber waiting for you. You couldn’t believe you had gotten away with it, one little lie worked and now you no longer had your best friend in your ear about finding a man.
The two of you went home to shower and change, spending your day over in Charleston. Showing Kelsie around the town and shopping. Your feet were on fire by the time you stepped through your front door, you dropped your bags to the floor. “I need to lay down!” You announce, walking straight to your bedroom and dropping onto the bed.
You must have passed out because you're waking up in a dark room, your shoes have been taken off and a blanket draped over you. Your ears prick up to the sound of music, what was Kelsie doing?
You threw the blanket off you and stepped into your bathroom, you grabbed a makeup wipe and cleaned up the mascara that had smudged under your eyes. Racking a comb through your hair and stepping back out of the bathroom.
The moment you open your bedroom door you are hit with loud music and the smell of tequila, you follow the noise towards the living room. “There she is!” Your best friend screams, she comes charging at you wrapping her arms around your neck.
Your eyes land on Rafe who sits on the one seater velvet chair, legs spread wide. He sends a smirk your way and raises his glass as a hello. “What is happening?” You question, noticing Rafe’s friends lounge on the couch and your friends looking at you in confusion. Oh god.
Your lie was about to unravel, you hadn’t thought about Kelsie meeting them. “I grabbed your phone while you were sleeping and organized a little get together! But you missy need to stop deleting messages it was very hard to figure out who your friends where”.
You were more concerned about how she got Rafes number, it would have been suspicious for you not to have messages with him. “Luckily everyone was saved in your favorites” she says handing you your phone, when she isn’t looking you search your phone. Rafes name pops up under favorite number 1, he must have put it in there last night? He was a lot better at this fake dating than you had expected.
“Hi” his voice whispered in your ear, his breath tickled your neck sending familiar shivers down your spine. His fingers dance around your hip stopping at your stomach, flattening his hand against you he pulled you back against him. “Hey” you managed, you say, he could tell you were flustered from the pink creeping up your neck until it made home on the apple of your cheeks. “You were asleep when she texted, I’m not as good of a liar as you” he joked, his eyes looking behind you for a moment and then his lips were on yours. You had now been kissed by 3 boys in your our lifetime, his lips were your favorite so far.
“Get a room!” Kelsie shouted, she poured tequila into shot glasses and began passing them around. “Let’s get this party started!”.
An uneasy feeling settled in your stomach, Kelsie never usually drank this much when she was around you. She knew you weren’t much of a drinker, especially since your dad was an alcoholic.
You stared down at the shot in your hand, you really didn’t want to drink tonight. Before you could even bring it to your lips Rafe was swapping his empty shot glass with yours and throwing it back. “You didn’t have to do that” you whispered, his hand still laying upon your stomach. You could feel him breathing against your back. “You didn’t want it”.
He gives you another soft smile and looks back at everyone in the room, Kelsie has turned the music up louder and pulled everyone into the middle of the lounge. “I just need to talk to my friends quickly” he nods his head and drops his hand from you. He watched you make your way to your friends and took a seat back on the seat he once occupied.
“Girl! You didn’t tell us you were seeing Rafe!” Sam exclaimed, she was in pure shock. Your three outer banks friends had lived here all their lives, they had known Rafe since school. “I’m sorry, it’s so recent I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it yet”.
“That’s okay, totally understand! It’s Rafe Cameron for crying out loud, I never thought I’d see the day he settles down” Grace says, she looks over at Rafe who is still watching you. They send him a smile and look back at you, an uneasy feeling in your stomach again.
“Yeah who knew” you laughed, you stood with them for a bit longer until the feeling of his eyes on you made you squirm. Walking back over to him, he pulled you to sit on his lap.
Your legs sat between his open ones, body nuzzled into his side. His arm around your shoulder, it was surprisingly comfortable and not weird. “We should probably discuss this fake boyfriend thing” he whisperedMy, pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear. “You really don’t have to pretend after today”.
He chuckles and moves in his seat a little bit, your thighs rubbing against his groin. The redness once again painted on your cheeks. “You underestimate your friend”.
You look over at Kelsie who’s dancing away with Topper, both of them look like they escaped the mental hospital.
“You might be right” you agreed, unsure why you feel so content against him. You’d sat on boys' laps before and cuddled, it usually made you feel uncomfortable and you’d run off before they got the wrong idea.
“She's here for 3 days, so if you were possibly free over the next few days I’d be forever in your debt” you say, turning slightly to look up at him. He tilts his chin to look down at you, something flashes behind his eyes but you can’t quite place what it is. His smile is intoxicating, the crinkles at the corner of his eyes and the perfectly straight teeth could kill me. “I can be free BUT I need a favour from you”.
“Yeah?” Your heart beats a bit faster and harder in your chest, what could Rafe Cameron possibly want from you? “I’ll need you to come to an event, I need a plus one”.
“Oh sure thing” you answer a bit too quickly, earning a smirk from the man under you. “Let’s talk about rules then?”
“Rules?”
“Yeah, you’ve never had a boyfriend before. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by doing anything you don’t want” he states, his tone is serious and his smile has vanished. “Oh” is all you manage to say to him, he moves again sitting up more straight so you both face each other.
“If I touch you anywhere you don’t like or want, or if I kiss you and you don’t want it, you just tell me. I won’t be hurt”
You nod your head, his hand cups your face and his lips touch yours for only a brief moment. “Sorry… they were watching”.
You turn your head and every snap their head back to what they were doing, a soft chuckle leaves your mouth and you look back at Rafe.
“Okay, and if you're busy or no longer want to be my fake boyfriend you just tell me. No hard feelings”
“Okay”
“Shall we kiss on it?”
You're the one to press your lips to his this time, it’s not quick like the last one. It’s more intense, his tongue snakes between your lips and you're moving in sync. This was a lot better than any of the other kisses you shared with someone.
“Sorry, I thought we’d give them a show”.
“Right” you breath, clearing the back of your throat and laying against him again. Was it normal to enjoy a kiss from a fake boyfriend that much?
Tag list - @rafemotherfuckingcameron @rafegirly @prentissesredtanktop @maybankslover @vigilanteshitposting
Part 3
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norrisleclercf1 · 1 year
Text
You’re My Book Boyfriend
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none, just a reporter being gross, booktok books mentioned
A/N: This is horrible, I’ve been sick since yesterday and wrote this while half dying from being sick, so apologies for whatever this is
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It was known that Carlos was dating someone, but no one really knew for who. Fans and media would get a glimpse of you once in a while, but it needed to be longer for anyone to really speculate anything, like in the past. But that would never really happen. You didn't want to be in the spotlight, which is ironic since you're dating an international athlete.
Meeting Carlos was an utter accident. Your father was some big sponsor for Ferrari's F1 team and was granted tickets to one of the races, which your father had dragged you to. Sitting in a corner, you didn't think anyone would find you; you just wanted to read your book. It was a good book series as you were reading Katee Roberts new series, and it was so good.
Getting comfortable, you become unaware of your surroundings, but your eyes catch a movement of red, and it freezes, making you look up. Casting your eyes up, you blink at the person and take them in. Do you know those traditional ways of describing the male lead in the book? Yeah, this guy was the definition of male lead looks. Sun-kissed skin, honey eyes, and thick hair curling around his ears and neck, you try hard not to admire the rest of him. He stares at you like a deer in headlights, almost expecting you to bother him, but you just look back down at your book, more interested in Eros and Psyche than the real man in front of you.
The guy stares at you, shocked you paid him no mind as he moves, sits down on one of the couches, and just lays back like he owns the place. You try to ignore how he fidgets around, trying to get comfortable, or when he types loudly on his phone.
"Can't you just stay still? You're acting like you own the damn building." You snap, annoyed with your peace being interrupted.
"My face is on the side of the building, so I guess so." The man snips back, and you try hard not to blush from his accent or the fact you just insulted one of the Ferrari drivers.
"Which one are you?" You ask and almost laugh from the absolute shock on the man's face.
"Carlos Sainz." He mumbles like he just got knocked down a peg, which he was.
"My dad likes you. I guess that's why he sponsors you." You shrug and put your nose back in your book, ending the conversation.
That was Carlos's first conversation with you and one he remembered. After that, you slowly started to come around more and more, your father thought maybe you were enjoying the sport, and you did. You decided to read Lauren Asher's Dirty Air series and concluded that she definitely framed Santiago after Carlos, which always made you blush.
Carlos would always find you in some random spot of the motorhomes, with a book next to you. This time you had a book called Twisted Games on your lap. He froze, realizing you had fallen asleep in the morning sun. Your head was tilted back, your hair slightly messy, and your clothes comfortable. He couldn't help but picture himself coming home and seeing you like this on his couch.
After that, he set his mind to asking you out. He loved being able to talk to you about everything and anything and never having to talk about F1. Yes, he loved his job, but sometimes being with someone with no interest was the best. Asking you out was simple. He noticed which book series you were reading and decided to get the last book before it was released. It took a lot of convincing, but he gifted you, Twisted Lies, resulting in you kissing him. You shocked you both, but when you went to pull away, Carlos kicked into gear and kissed you back as his arms lightly wrapped around your waist. After that, the rest was history.
"Carlos, have you seen my book?" You asked your boyfriend. He was sitting outside enjoying the sun as it was Friday and had just gotten done with media and was enjoying the quiet around the paddock until it became swarmed with people for the evening practice.
"C'mere." He grumbles, not opening his eyes as you huff but moving towards your boyfriend. He pulls you into his lap, making you sit down as he draws you closer, kissing your neck and squirming, but you lay your head down, his chin resting on your head.
Neither of you cared to be in this position as you sat on the roof motorhome under the shade of the net that covered it; barely anyone could see the two of you. You move around some more, but Carlos's fingers dig slightly into your hip, making you stop.
"Unless you want to cause a problem, I suggest you stop." He whispers, almost nuzzling you as his words make your skin tickle.
"You pulled me on your lap, so it's your fault." You tease, making him laugh and finally open his eyes to look at you.
He watches you as you look around the area listening to the crowd of people slowly grow more and more as it inches closer to the first practice for the weekend. Carlos always hates leaving you because he never knows who's trying to find you or be around you, and he hates it. Carlos just wants to make sure that you're okay. After rumors got out of you two dating, he's been meticulous with keeping you out of the public eye. You always remind him that you'll be in your corner, where you both first meet, reading and book and watching the practice or race.
He knows that you'll be mainly reading a book more than anything.
"Please be careful. The media is heavier this weekend; I don't want them overwhelming you." He whispers, his grip tightening on your hips, making you nod.
You both remember the last time a reporter got a hold of you; he was insulting and disgusting and asked you about your sex life. You vaguely recall running into Carlos while the reporter kept following you. Carlos is usually the calm one, with a level head, but when he hears the question about which of you is on top, he loses it. It took multiple mechanics and Charles to pull Carlos off the guy; of course, the speculations of what caused this was spinning, but Carlos turned off both your phones and held you close for the rest of the night. Anytime it was mentioned, Carlos still saw red.
"I'll stay away. Besides, I prefer my book and you; that's all I need." You giggle, which has Carlos calming down.
When a soft dinging sound from Carlos's phone goes off, your boyfriend sighs, lifts you up, and pats your ass gently, telling you to get up. Carlos stands, stretches, and looks down at you as you admire the peak of his happy trail, really hating that he must leave. Chuckling, his hand wraps around your jaw, and you look at him as he leans down, kissing you gently but possessively. Pulling away, he pulls your bottom lip slightly, making you whine as he gives you a quick peck on the lips before fixing his hat.
"Please be safe, don't wander, and read your book. Hmm, I looked it up. News things to try." he winks, making you laugh and blush, waving him off as he jogs down the stairs.
Yeah, he's better than any book guy.
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thesuperiorrobin · 9 months
Text
Rainy days~
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Pairing: Damian Wayne x Fem!Reader
Word count: 738
Warning: mentions of make outs. Reader likes thunderstorms, reader and Damian being grossly flirtatious.
A/n: i have been a lot of thunderstorms here where I live.
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You like the sound of the rain hitting against your bay window as you sit down next to it with pillows surrounding your body. It puts you at ease. But it goes dead on your ears as you deepen the kiss with Damian. Hands on both his cheeks as lays in between your legs, supporting his own weight by keeping both hands on each side of your thighs. As you eagerly pull him closer then he already is, he almost loses his balance—chest to chest. Oh he likes it you think to yourself feeling him lean closer in. Damian’s not the first to break free from you—it’s you who does it out of the lack of oxygen in your lungs. There’s a dazed expression on the boy's face as you pull away, his eyes never leaving your lips. He wants to go back in but he waits until you fully have your breath back, until then he fixes his bent down posture but still holds his position in between your legs.
“It’s almost like the rain puts you in some sort of trance every time” he says laughing a little as he wipes his mouth with the back of hand. A small hum leaves past your lips as you lean your head up against your window
“Rain sets the mood, No?” Your hand reaches up to trace his jaw gently “it’s very…..I don’t know. It sets the mood "
"mhm I wonder what mood that is” there’s a hit of sarcasm laced in his voice, you roll your eyes and gently place both hands on his cheeks
``please” you say “you aren’t complaining. You like this mood” he lets out a soft hum nodding gently as he does so.
“I don’t think I’ve ever complained about this mood of yours, honestly” Damian leans in closer, whispering against your swollen lips ``Rainy days like these are my favorite”
“Mine too, especially the ones where I get to have you all to myself” he goes in for another kiss and you do the same, but the sudden flash of light up in the sky and the delayed sound of thunder catches your attention as you peel yourself off him. He didn’t like it, groaning as you stared out the window with a bright smile on your face.
“Woah! Holy shit! Did you see that?!” You point out excitedly out the window, finger pressed up against the slightly foggy glass. “It looked so cool!” The mood has been changed drastically, from one mood to another as you seem to idolize the faint light and loud boom. Damian doesn’t keep his position in between your legs for long as he sits straight up and leans up against the wall with his arm crossed over his chest. He seems unfazed, but he really isn’t. He’s more annoyed than anyone at the moment. Finger tapping against his forearm as he watches you eye the sky through the window. Faint words leaving your mouth as you mumbles numbers. On the sixteenth mark there’s another flash of light and an even louder boom. You clap your hands amazed.
“It amazes me how the littlest things always pique your interest” you turn to face Damian, green eyes staring into yours.
“The littlest things are always the most fascinating” you shrug being smiling “and besides, I wouldn't consider thunder to be the littlest things. If you know what I mean”
Damian glares down at you as you laugh. “You have a smart mouth on you tonight”
“I learn from the best” a dramatic sigh leaves past your lips “we should go dance out in the rain "
"and risk getting you sick?” he scoffs “no way. I would rather prefer if you and I stayed here, in the likes of your bedroom where it’s warm and safe”
“you sound just like my mom” you frown “it’s weird”
“I think your mother would too prefer it if we both stayed inside” he opens his arms, a single for you to climb in and you do so without question. Setting one his chest and in between his legs comfortably before he traps you with his arms. “I think my mom would prefer us outside and dancing”
“No she would not”
you let out a small huff “you’re no fun”
“I’ve been told that countless times” you hear a small rumble in his chest as he laughs.
“That’s actually so depressing”
“Just focus on the thunder”
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gh0stsp1d3r · 3 months
Note
Can you do a luke fic? Maybe some angst 🤭
I lobe angst sm! This is the song I listened to for inspo,,
𝒲𝒽𝓎 𝓃ℴ𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 ℴ𝓃ℯ
MASTERLIST
Warnings- Yes I used the TikTok trend what abt it, reader gets stabbed, betrayed, mention of blood and scars
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“Luke?” Your voice was quiet, he knew that voice though. He knew your voice. He snapped his head, suddenly dropping his sword. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared into your eyes.
“Y/n.”
Percy laid on the soil beneath him, your lip quivering as you stared at the scene in front of you.
“Luke… what are you doing?” You said, stepping closer to him. You were quiet still, your heart beat practically out of your chest.
“Y/n, you have to listen to me-“ he started. Percy stood up.
“Y/n, don’t listen to him.” Percy interrupted. You were torn.
Luke ignored Percy, stepping over to you now. He grabbed your face as you looked at him, face full of confusion.
“Kronos… has a plan for us, for you. And I want a future for us-“
“Kronos? Luke, what are you talking about?” You said, tears threatening to fall. “Why are you talking like that?”
“He can give us a better life than the Gods, I need you to understand, we can be free. Free from the Gods, free from Camp, from the rules. We have to leave soon-“ He spoke quietly, as if you were going to break if he spoke any louder.
“Are you sick? Is something wrong? Did I do something?” You asked, tears now falling down your face as you looked at the man you thought you had known.
“No, you didn’t do anything. Think about it, when was the last time you even spoke to your parents? Your mother?”
“That doesn’t matter, Luke.”
He grew more agitated at your words.
“I love you, why can’t you make this easier?” He asked.
“I loved you. Luke, you’re not the man I fell in love with. Whoever… this is, is not my Luke.” You gestured to him, his heart broke as a lone tear fell down his face now. The words he knew were true but didn’t wanna hear.
But with his sadness, comes more anger. You were taken aback when he pulled out his sword, Percy tried to run up and stop him but he was too slow.
He stabbed you, in the side. Not fatally or deep, just enough to injure and bleed.
You cried out, and once the anger was gone, he felt worse than he ever had.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He said to you, looking back at Percy and then running into the portal, away.
“Are you okay?” Percy asked, quickly coming over to you.
You groaned, lifting up your shirt to reveal your cut to Percy. He flinched upon seeing it.
“C’mon, let’s go to the medic.” He said, helping you stand up and walk.
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You took a walk through the forest, it was a lot quieter now. It was dark out, and you were supposed to be in bed. But Dionysus is too drunk to notice anything and Chiron isn’t looking.
Your mind went to Luke. It had been for the last couple months. Every time you saw converse, an oak tree, curly hair, or even brown eyes. You pretended for a moment it was him, and for those moments you were happy.
You didn’t hear someone coming up behind you until you heard a branch snap. You turned around, furrowing an eyebrow as you tried to see what or who it was.
A familiar figure came into your view. You could see that curly hair and know it was him from miles away.
You stood straight, breath catching in your throat as he came closer. You looked down at his hands, no sword.
You pulled out your sword, and he held up his hands.
“Please. I just wanna talk. That’s all I want.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, and you looked at his pleading eyes. The eyes you knew you couldn’t resist.
You put it away for now, and you both stared at each other for a moment.
“I’m sorry. I…” the words were lost in his throat when he saw your gaze. It wasn’t loving like it used to be, it was more hateful.
“You stabbed me.”
“I know. And I’ve felt like shit, ever since I haven’t seen you.”
You could tell, his hair was disheveled, the bags of his eyes heavier and darker, he looked malnourished.
“You stabbed me.” You repeated.
“How bad is it?”
You lifted up your shirt to the scar it had left. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and he stared into your eyes again.
You swore to yourself if you ever managed to run into him again, you wouldn’t cry. But, you couldn’t help it.
The man you had loved for years, the man who had always been there for you, the one who helped you through everything.
“I still love you.” You managed to blurt out the confession. You sat down on a tree’s roots, putting your face in your hands as you choked out a sob.
He sat next to you, rubbing your back as you cried.
“I love you too. I’m sorry. For everything.” He said quietly.
You eventually curled up next to him, he just threw his arm around you like he used to.
“Can we still.. be friends?” He asked hopefully.
“I don’t think we can, Luke.”
“So.. this is it.. for us?”
You nodded, “I guess it is.” Your lip quivered as you said the words. He took a deep breath and stayed quiet before speaking again.
“In another universe, I imagine we would own a beach house or something. We would be off on our own.” He said, “then eventually we’d get married. Have kids or something.”
“Why not this one?”
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evanpeterswhoresblog · 3 months
Text
Cherry Bomb (pt. 3)
Remus Lupin x f!reader, James Potter x f!reader (mentioned), Sirius Black x f!reader (mentioned)
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warnings: smut, p in v, i think it’s protected atp idk, fingering, underage smoking, very dom remus, long af but omg i’m so in love with it
summary: the last part of your plan is far harder to achieve than the first two and it’s far more complicated.
word count: 5k
a/n: ahhh here’s the last part (i think?) anyway sorry it’s long i got carried away but ugh i love remus so much. sorry if my characterization is off, ever since atyd i see him as sarcastic. yeah i love this, hope you guys do too :)
~~~
Out of all the marauders, Remus Lupin was by far the most liked. He was quiet, but not invisible. He was the most sensible out of all the boys and the most polite. Though he did tend to be witty and sarcastic, he was kind at heart. But he was also the hardest one to get close to. Quiet, reserved, beautiful Remus with his nose always stuck in a book. There was always something about him that made girls fall fast. But that was the thing. It was always so easy to fall in love with him. So, if one ever wanted to shag Remus Lupin, they would have to deal with the consequences of loving him. Because he was nothing like his mates. He didn’t shag just anyone. No. He had to choose you. And to be chosen by him was the biggest accomplishment and the biggest curse. Because once you get him, you will never want to let him go.
~~~
Avoiding two of the marauders is nearly impossible. Each corner you turn it seems you run into one of them, or both. And each time their eyes find you they show the same expressions. Confusion. Frustration. Perhaps even a bit of sadness. You debate throwing away the entire plan daily. It’s unfair, the way you’re playing with their minds. But the lingering knowledge that you’re so close to completing the plan entirely keeps you going. Because surely, all your hurt feelings can’t be for nothing.
Right?
You speak to James only once after your shag in the broom closet. It’s a week or two after, he’s been chasing you around, and you’ve been avoiding him. But you decide he deserves some amount of closure. Sweet, lovely, innocent James. You find him alone in the library and take your opportunity. The way he smiles when he sees you approaching makes your heart ache terribly and regret fills your stomach.
“Y/n I’ve been trying to catch you, how are you?” He asks once you’re close enough to hear his quiet tone.
He looks so happy, you feel sick.
“Yeah, I just you know… haven’t been feeling too great,” you lie.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Sit if you’d like, I’ve been attempting to study for the potions test. Aren’t you good with potions? Could you help me possibly?”
You inhale deeply. You could really use a cigarette right now. You’ve broken things off with guys before, but this feels different. In the other cases, you’ve had reasons. For this case though, you have none. James is innocent in all of this. It makes you nauseous.
“Listen, James,” you start, your voice soft. “What happened was great, I enjoyed it a lot, but it was a mistake. I like you, you’re very sweet, but I don’t think we should do anything else.”
Watching his face fall is by far the most horrid sight you’ve ever seen. All the happiness fades fast and leaves behind a bitter frown. He looks down at his papers, toying with his quill.
“I see…” He looks back up, a fake smile on his lips. “That’s alright, it was fun. I’m not really looking for anything serious like that either, so I understand.”
You swallow hard. “I really do like you James, believe me, but it’s just not the right time for this.”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”
“And...” You pause for a second. “You won’t tell anyone?”
He nods. “Not a soul. This will be our little secret.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”
“Well then, I’ll let you get back to your potions. Thanks for... everything.” You give him one last smile before turning on your heels and making your way out of the library.
You almost put an end to it right then and there, but then you see the tallest marauder walking down the hall with Peter. His hands are in his pockets, his book bag slung over one of his shoulders. For a split second his eyes meet yours as the two of you pass each other.
He gives you a small awkward smile.
Fuck.
~~~
To catch Remus Lupin alone you must take the risk of losing your house some points. You wait a week before making your move, for safety. After your conversation with James, the only marauder to pay attention to you is Sirius. He’s still set on telling everyone that the two of you shagged, but thankfully, not many people believe him. Not even his best mates.
It’s a very quiet night when you sneak out after curfew. A night you know one particular prefect is doing rounds on his own. You wander through the castle quietly, making sure to avoid the areas in which teachers lurk. Goosebumps form on your skin, you should’ve worn more than a tee-shirt and sweatpants, but you needed to look casual.
As you’re about to turn a corner, you spot Filch. Panic surfaces inside you and you quickly turn around and run as quietly as you can down the hall. You take a few turns and just as you’re about to relax, you hear a voice.
“It’s past curfew, what are you doing out here?”
Your heart stops for a completely different reason.
It’s him.
You turn to face him and shyly smile. You watch his face change as he recognizes you.
“Oh, it’s you.” He narrows his eyes. “Off to shag my mate again, are you?”
“I never shagged him,” you reply, crossing your arms over your chest. “And I’m out for a completely different reason.”
“What reason is that?”
You shrug. “Personal reason.”
“Ah well, hope it was worth losing your dear Ravenclaws ten points. Get back to your dorm before someone else catches you,” he says, turning away from you.
You watch as he walks down the hall, not giving you another thought. You would’ve replied sarcastically if you could speak for that matter. Once he disappears, all you can do is shamefully make your way back to your house's common room, now understanding why James likes being a chaser.
~~~
Some time passes before you get Remus alone. Each time you see him during the day, he’s accompanied by one of the marauders and you can’t sneak out during his rounds again because your fellow Ravenclaws were not pleased. You’re smoking behind the castle when you happen to finally catch him walking alone. You immediately take your chance.
“Lupin!” You call out to him. You get up from the bench you were sitting on and walk to him.
Thankfully, he stops walking and turns back to face you. “Y/l/n. Is there something I can help you with?”
You can tell from the tone of his voice he’s trying to be polite; it makes your insides warm.
“Yeah, actually there is. I was wondering if you could help me with my transfiguration essay. You’re the smartest lad in the year,” you answer, taking a small puff of your cigarette. You hold it up to offer him a hit, he shakes his head.
“Those things will kill you,” he says. “But I suppose I can help a bit. I assume you’re free right now?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Let me take a look.”
A smirk forms on your lips, and you let out a breath of smoke purposely into his face. “Take a girl to dinner first.”
He swats the air, fanning away the smoke. “Are you going to show me or not? I have things to take care of.”
“Sorry.” You hate the way your face burns. “Come see.”
The two of you make your way to the bench and you take out your essay. Truthfully, you are already finished with it, and you think your work is good. But much to your dismay, only a few seconds after he starts reading it, Remus takes out a muggle pen and begins crossing things off.
“What’s wrong?”
“Your spelling is shit, and you’ve contradicted your argument at least twice already and I’m only on the second paragraph,” he answers, his eyes glued to the paper. “Maybe if you spent more time studying than shagging and smoking, you’d have this information down. We reviewed it a few weeks ago.”
You scoff. “I have not been shagging.”
“Sure,” he mumbles, crossing off another sentence.
“I swear, Sirius is mistaken.” You lie.
He turns his head, his green eyes meeting yours. “Who said I was referring to Sirius?”
Your breath catches in your throat, and you cough due to the smoke. Is he talking about James? Your heart rate increases, and anxiety flows throughout your body. Did James tell? You catch your breath, your eyes meeting his again. He looks unamused.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t shagged anyone in months, not that it’s your business,” you say.
“You should really practice more on your lying; you are shit at it.” He hands your essay back to you and stands. “I left a few notes of some things you should change, but my biggest suggestion is that you reread the textbook, and perhaps find some more... enticing quotes. Is that all then? Like I said, I’ve got some other business to tend to.”
For a few seconds, all you can do is stare up at him, your mouth hung open ever so slightly. You previously thought Remus Lupin to be a timid boy who went along with the rest of the marauders because he couldn’t say no. Now though, you realize all those assumptions are wrong. He’s quiet, but not timid.
“What do you know?” You question.
“Quite a lot, thanks for the chat.”
Before you can even think of a response, he’s already walking away. You can’t let him slip away again.
“I’ll get it out of you Remus Lupin if it’s the last thing I do!”
He turns his head over his shoulder and chuckles, the sound sending warmth straight to your core. “We’ll see.”
And just like that, he’s gone, and you’re left flustered with rosy cheeks.
You did save the best for last.
~~~
Falling for the third marauder is easier than anything. Almost unconsciously, you begin to fail classes so that he can help you with work, you learn his route around the castle to see him at least once a day, and you sneak around the castle some nights, but he always ends up finding you somehow.
One night, a little over a month after you’ve started your game, something unexpected happens. You’re out after curfew once again, tiptoeing around the castle to see where the tallest prefect is when he appears from behind you. Like usual, he crosses his arms and clears his throat, making you quickly spin on your heels to face him. How does he always sneak up on you?
“How many times am I going to catch you before you start following the rules? I’m sure your fellow Ravenclaws aren’t too pleased with you,” he says. You look up at him, a genuine blush on your face. He narrows his eyes. “You want me to catch you, don’t you?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
You look away nervously. The plan never involved gaining real feelings for any of the marauders, yet here you were. Standing in your sleepwear after curfew with your heart racing in your chest at the mere sight of one of them. Though you try to deny it, you know deep down you’re crushing hard, and you know it will only end badly.
“I uh... I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just on a little stroll back from a smoke that’s all,” you reply after a few seconds, your hands anxiously fiddling with one another.
He rolls his eyes. “Listen, I don’t know what your objective is or has been, but whatever it is it’s not going to happen.”
“Remus I-”
“Sirius, I understand, he would sleep with the giant squid if it had tits. But James, really? He may be more of an... active person than myself but he has far more feelings than you think.” He takes a step forward; he towers over you. You swear you can’t breathe. “You may have fooled them, but you don’t fool me. I can see right through you y/l/n and you’re sick.”
You move backward; he follows each step. “You... you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?”
Your back hits a wall, panic rises in you. Your eyes fall to his hands, and a bit of relief washes over you when you see he’s not holding his wand. But then another thought takes over. Is he going to hit you? When you look back up, he’s only inches away from you, his hazel eyes piercing down into yours. He places one of his hands on the wall next to your head. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears.
“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble, really. I’m sorry,” you mumble, your words genuine.
“So, what was your goal then? To shag all of us and take your pick of who’s best? Peter would’ve been far easier than James you know,” he replies.
“It was just a stupid idea, I don’t know. It didn’t mean anything deeper I swear.” You’re rambling now, the threat of tears evident in the burning of your eyes. You try your hardest to keep any from falling, you can’t cry in front of Remus.
He sighs. “You’re lucky Sirius is oblivious, and James is trusting. If they knew the truth, you’d have the whole school against you.”
“Wait, they don’t know?”
He rolls his eyes again. “Of course not. If they knew you’d be getting hexed almost all day every day.”
“Then how do you know?”
“I notice a lot more than people think. Did you honestly think no one saw you go up to our dorm with Sirius that night at the party? And did you honestly think none of us would notice James’s change in attitude? You think you know more than you actually do,” he explains.
For a few seconds, the two of you only stare at each other. You don’t know what to think. You should’ve known this would happen. Someone was going to catch on. You wish you had never done it. Any of it. Everything would be so much simpler if you’d simply stayed the quiet Ravenclaw girl who never interacted with the marauders. But you can’t go back, no matter how much you wish you could. You can only make it right moving forward.
“I’m sorry, truly Remus.” There’s so much more you want to say, but you can’t. You can’t fathom the words.
“If you’re truly sorry, stop. I won’t be the next pawn in your game,” he says, his voice slightly lower than before. You watch the way his eyes shift, the way he licks his lips, and moves his head down so he’s almost eye level with you. Your breath catches in your throat. “I suppose I pity you though because you and I both know this has become more than a game to you now.”
You turn your head, but he grabs your chin and forces you to look him in the eye.
“You fancy me.”
“I-”
“Don’t try to deny it. Like I said, I can see right through you.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over now,” you whisper, a tear nearly escaping one of your eyes.
He inhales deeply and you notice his eyes trail over your body for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “You’re right. It is over now.”
He lets go of you and backs away and for the first time since encountering him tonight, you feel like you can breathe normally. You stay on the wall, silently catching your breath as he walks further down the hall. But just before he’s about to turn a corner, he looks back at you.
“Or perhaps it’s simply my turn to play with you. Oh, and that’s twenty points from Ravenclaw. Goodnight.”
You fall asleep with his words burning in the back of your mind, and an ache between your thighs.
~~~
After that night, everything is different. You try to avoid them all and go back to the way things were before, you really do. You scribble out the page in your journal with their names, you keep your head down in the halls, and you skip the parties they host. It’s Remus who’s begun playing. Somehow, he continues knowing where you are and appears at random times. Whether you’re studying in the library, and he just so happens to need a book from that section, or you’re out by the lake with your friends and he walks by. You know it’s intentional, but it still manages to leave you hot and bothered each time.
“I thought you said the plan was off?” Your friend says one particular day when the two of you are eating lunch.
You look at her, confused. “It is.”
“Then why has Lupin been staring at you this whole meal?”
Instinctively, you look across the Great Hall and immediately catch those all-too-familiar hazel eyes. He doesn’t look away, at least, not for a moment. He stares at you with no shame, and even from the distance you can sense something different from the look in his eyes. Before you can fully figure it out though, he turns his attention back to the other three marauders.
“Did you shag him?” Your friend asks.
“No, I told you what happened,” you answer, focusing your attention back on the food on your plate. “I wish he’d stop.”
Your friend laughs. “Nah, you don’t.”
You hate how she’s right.
~~~
Nearly two months have passed when you finally confront Remus.
You’re sitting in the astronomy tower, a cigarette between your lips, and a scowl on your face. You can’t take it any longer. Wasn’t he the one who told you off? Wasn’t he the one who told you to stop the games? He was. You know it. So, why has he kept it going? He had said that it was his turn, but that was many weeks ago. How long did he plan to keep this going? You let out a cloud of smoke, frustration taking over your body at the thoughts.
“How many points shall I take off tonight? Forty? Fifty?” You feel him sit next to you, but you refuse to look at him. “You haven’t been out after dark in a while though, I’ll give you that.”
“What do you want Lupin?” You ask, annoyed.
He chuckles. “What do any of us want really?”
You look at him with a straight face, hating the way butterflies take over your stomach at the sight of him so close to you. Despite the scars on his face, you find him more beautiful than any boy. More than James, even more than Sirius. There is something so extraordinary about Remus you can’t explain. You wish it would go away.
“Why can’t you leave me alone?” You question after taking another drag from the cigarette.
“I haven’t spoken to you in over a month, I don’t know what-”
“Yes, you know what I mean.” You cut him off. You exhale your last breath of smoke and throw the cigarette off the tower. “I’m trying to leave this all in the past and move on like you said but you’ve made it quite difficult.”
“Seems you don’t like the taste of your medicine love. It’s hard, isn’t it? Trying to avoid someone when they always seem to end up exactly where you are. It gets rather annoying, doesn’t it? Especially when you secretly enjoy it,” he replies.
Your eyes meet again and that familiar trouble to breathe begins. He’s looking at you in a way you don’t know how to feel about. It’s not like Sirius’s drunken stare or James’s needy stare. No. This one, though the same lustful, is far deeper.
“Just tell me what you want Remus,” you eventually say, your voice lower than before. “What do you want?”
“I want you to get out of my head. I want to look at you and feel nothing. I want everything to go back to how it was before you decided to fuck with my friends and me,” he answers.
You swear your heart stops for a few beats. “Then let all of that happen.”
“You think I haven’t tried?”
You stay silent.
“I never wanted this, any of it.”
You look down. “I know.”
“Don’t do that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Merlin, I give up, you win y/n. You bloody win.”
You’re about to ask what he exactly means, but he acts faster. In the blink of an eye, his lips are on yours. You can’t grasp it at first. You’re kissing Remus Lupin; Remus Lupin is kissing you. The boy who unintentionally caught your heart is kissing you. It’s unbelievable, it’s undeniable, and it’s far from underrated. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back, even through your initial shock.
His hands cup your cheeks, his thumbs stroke your skin ever so gently. You wrap your arms around his neck, one of your hands toying with the hair on the back of his head. He’s a good kisser, very good. That’s why when he parts your lips, you protest.
“Why did you-”
“If we’re going to do this, you have to promise me it’s not a game anymore y/n.”
Your head is fuzzy from how intently he’s looking at you. “I promise Remus, that game has been over for a while.”
“You swear it?”
“I do. Do you?”
“Of course.” There are a few seconds of silence before he sighs, one of his fingers now playing with a piece of your hair. “We have to keep it secret.”
“I know,” you say.
He brushes the piece of hair behind your ear, the intimate gesture sending tingles throughout your body. “I don’t want it to be a quick shag either,” he adds.
“What do you want it to be then?”
The smile he gives you makes your stomach flip. “More.”
~~~
More from Remus Lupin is everything.
After that night, the two of you begin something you don’t exactly know how to name. You would call it a secret relationship, but the thought of that gives you a stomachache. The two of you don’t interact during the day, at least not where anyone else can see. He passes you in the hall as if you’re a stranger, but the second he catches you around a corner in an empty hallway he showers you with affection. And at night when the two of you sneak off, he touches you in ways you never thought possible.
He shows you so many new places in the castle you never knew of. Secret passages, secret rooms, all of it. You never question how he knows all of it, you only hold his hand tighter as he guides you. When he suggests a more secluded place to meet, you of course agree. Though, you never expect that place to be the shrieking shack.
“There’s no way you’re serious,” you say. The two of you are outside, near the Whomping Willow. You make sure to stay out of its reach. “The shrieking shack? That place is haunted, the ghosts don’t even go there because of how scary it is.”
“Obviously I’m not Sirius love, you only shagged him once,” he sarcastically replies, rolling his eyes to emphasize his joke.
“Remus.”
“The shrieking shack is not haunted, believe me, that’s only a silly rumor made so that people won’t go to it. Me, James, Sirius, and Peter go all the time. It has a bed, and given our activities I say we utilize that,” he explains.
You bite your lip. “Are you positive?”
He moves a bit closer to you and places a hand on your shoulder, leaning down so he’s at eye level with you. “You know I would never let anything hurt you, you can trust me.”
“Alright, but how are we supposed to get there so late? It’s in Hogsmeade,” you question.
He chuckles. “Haven’t you learned by now the marauders have many secret ways?”
“Yes, but we’re not in the castle right now how are we to- Remus don’t go any closer you’re going to get hurt you-” You pause, your mouth hung open as you watch the whomping willow go completely still. “How did you...”
“Secrets love, now come, it’s getting late,” he says, holding a hand out to you.
You don’t hesitate to take his hand and follow him into the tree, nothing else is said.
Surprisingly, the walk isn’t too long. It’s dark, gloomy, and a bit cold, but it’s not terrible. At the end of the tunnel, there’s a door. Something in Remus’s posture shifts, almost as if he’s anxious. You squeeze his hand to try to reassure him of whatever he needs, he gives you a smile through the dark that makes your cheeks warm.
The shrieking shack isn’t big, not at all. It’s a simple building with a few rooms and a short staircase. Remus brings the two of you to what you presume is the bedroom though the only indicator is a mattress, blanket, and pillow on the floor. There’s a small fireplace in the room as well, shockingly full of wood and some candles placed near the mattress. The entire shack is creaky and dusty, but you don’t mind. As long as there’s no ghosts, it’s perfect. Remus lets go of your hand and moves to start a fire. You sit down on the mattress and light the candles around.
“What do you guys use this place for?” You ask.
“It’s just a place we come to sometimes when we don’t want to be around other people,” he answers. His back is still turned to you, you could stare at it all day. “Sirius was the first one to discover it wasn’t haunted.”
“Oh? How did he find that out?”
“He’s always been the bravest out of us, though I think he just wanted another rule to break.”
You chuckle. “That sounds like him.”
He finally stands and turns to face you, a bright fire burning behind him. “You would know, you shagged him.”
“Oh, shut up,” you say as you slide off your shoes.
He begins to walk to you. “Can I ask you a question?”
“This context doesn’t seem good, but yes you can,” you reply.
“Be completely honest, out of the three of us, who’s the best?”
He’s standing right in front of you now. You look up at him, a coy smile on your lips, and begin to untie his shoelaces. “You are of course.”
“For some reason, I think your answer is biased,” he says with a laugh.
You trail your hands up his legs after he steps out of his sneakers, stopping once you reach his belt buckle. It quickly gets undone. “What would make you say that?”
He laughs again. “Just a hunch I guess.”
Your moment of control is taken fast when he pushes you down on the mattress, his lips attacking yours. It isn’t a lie though; he is the best. Unlike with Sirius and James, you share such deeper feelings for Remus. Each time he touches you, you practically melt into the palm of his hand. He’s caring. He’s gentle, but rough when need be. Though the two of you argue sometimes, it always is resolved with a hug, a kiss, or a shag. So, in the simplest of words, Remus Lupin is the perfect boy in every way.
All your clothes are discarded quickly, his too. He kisses you deeply as he uses his fingers on you. Sometimes you wonder where he’s learned all his skills from, but even thinking about him with another girl has started to make your stomach hurt. Instead, you focus on how good two of his fingers feel inside you. They’re so long, so slender. More than once in class you’ve been completely distracted by the sight of his hands, specifically his fingers, even more specifically when he’s wearing rings on them. They feel just as you imagine, extraordinary.
When you cum, you’re moaning a mess into his mouth, your body shaking. He milks every last bit of your orgasm out of you before stopping. You watch through heavy lids as he sucks his fingers clean of your cum, the sight makes you audibly groan.
“I need you,” you whisper, running one of your hands through his hair.
“Do you?” There’s something in the tone of his voice mixed with the way he’s looking at you that makes your heart ache in your chest.
You nod. “In so many ways Rem.”
“Promise?”
“Always.”
He moves inside you slowly at first, but he finds a decent pace after a few minutes. Because of his height, you weren’t at all surprised at the size of his cock. It’s by far the biggest you’ve ever encountered and the best. Though sometimes it leaves you sore, it always leaves you in a daze of dopamine.
Remus struggles to keep his head at your level as he fucks you. He presses soft kisses to your forehead, one of his hands intertwined with yours. You’ve never felt such intimacy in your life, it almost makes tears form in your eyes.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he says, his voice shaky. “Even if it’s not true.”
“I’m yours, Rem, completely,” you reply. His hips meet yours harder, and you moan. “All yours I’m all yours.”
Neither of you lasts much longer than that.
In the aftermath as the two of you hold each other, he rests his head on your chest. You run your fingers through his hair softly, the sound of his breathing like music to your ears. It’s at this moment you realize just how deeply you care for him. You hate what you did with that silly plan, but you don’t think you’d change it. If ending up in this moment only came from the plan, you’d do it over a million times.
“Is this real?” Remus asks after some time.
You sigh and press a kiss to the top of his head. “Yes. This is real.”
And so, it is.
410 notes · View notes
samkerrworshipper · 7 months
Note
begging for leah x it's a bad idea by olivia rodrigo. smut cause why not. boyfriend leah at its finest. and teammate references cause i love me some worried friends.
seeing her tonight, it’s a bad idea right?
leah williamson x reader
lighter smut, lots of fluff, little bit of angst, chelsea wfc x reader, admissions of love minors dni
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When I’d heard my phone buzzing the last thing I would have expected was a missed call from her and a flurry of texts.
Leah
Come over? 10.15pm
Please, I miss you, I’m lonely. 10.16pm
Let’s have some fun 😉? 10.18pm
Here’s the new address if you didn’t already have it. Unit two Lower end Road Buckinghamshire. 10.21pm
I hadn’t heard from her in months, not since England beat Australia in the World Cup. I looked around the bar that I was sitting at with my friends and teammates, it was Friday night and we’d taken it upon ourselves to get our weekend started on a goodnote, the Chelsea girls knew how to party. I’m gradually getting myself fucked up and now I can’t get her out of my head, everything about it feels shameful. All I can think about is her, I thought we were done, thought we were through but I can’t help myself from looking down at the texts, she’s calling my phone and she’s all alone and I can’t even hear my own thoughts with the music thrumming through the space and the adrenaline rush that’s getting to my head as I think about her.
Seeing her tonight, it’s a bad idea right?
Fuck it.
I collect my things quite quickly, giving my friends all goodbyes, telling them that I’m not feeling well and I’m just going to get a uber home. Millie, Sam and Guro are all disappointed, Madga insists she’ll drive me home but I deny her immediately, telling her I’ll just catch a uber and that I don’t want to ruin the night for any of them. They all seemed slightly worried by my answer but had accepted it nonetheless, Sam insisting that she’d call the uber for me, which was slightly annoying but also a battle I knew I wouldn’t win, I was just going to have to direct the driver to Leah’s instead of mine.
She walked me out to the car, in typical older sister fashion, she’d adopted me as soon as I’d joined her at Chelsea and it was sometimes funny to me how overprotective she got. She walked me all the way to the car, checking that I had the right driver and making sure I had my seatbelt fastened before saying her goodbyes. The whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about Leah, my brain clouded over with the thoughts of her. Sure she might be my ex but can’t two people reconnect? We just saw each other as friends, right?
As soon as the driver starts to move the car in the direction of my apartment I redirect him to Leah’s apartment, she only lives five minutes away so I just decide I’ll tip him generously.
I can’t believe that I’m wrecking all my plans for her, I know I should stop, but I can’t. I told my friends that I was feeling sick and I was heading to bed but I never said who’s.
Before I know it ‘m showing up at your place, climbing out of the car and looking up at your apartment. Should I? Probably not. All that I can hear in my head is you though, we’re just friends is all I can tell myself but I also know that it’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself.
I’m walking up the stairs, to the second floor and before I know what I’m doing I’m knocking on your door and you're standing, smiling at the door.
Before I know she’s pulling me into the apartment and before I can even say anything because her lips are on my own. I don’t even put up a fight, letting her devour me just as I’d been dreaming about the whole way here. It’s just two people reconnecting, right?
Her hands are all over me, snaking up and down my waist and legs as she devours my mouth and neck with ease.
“Bedroom baby, not in the hallway.”
Leah nods eagerly, smirking as she pulls be with one hand down the entrance and quickly into her room, forcing me to trip and fall into her bed.
“Missed you.”
It was murmured against my neck as she continued her assault of the skin all over my body, I swore she was touching every single nerve ending in my body, it was like I was on fire, in all of the best ways. She always made me feel that way, I think that was why I always came crawling back to her even if I was just another one of her things for her to play with when she was bored and alone, at least it was the best sex of my life, every single time.
She took her time as well, tending to every single part of my body before she even dipped below my underwear, taking her time to stirp every layer of my clothes and to worship every part of skin that was revealed to her with another layer gone, I felt like a babushka doll, slowly being stripped down until I was just me. She knew she was good as well, knew just how well she knew my body. She was smug about it, in the disgusting boyfriend way that made me so giddy on the insides.
When she did eventually work her way down I was a trembling, moaning mess. My coherency was gone and all I could do was mutter Leah’s name and a trail of profanities that only she could ever make me produce.
Leah had stamina, an insane amount, she could go all night, she’d proven that to me in the past. I could sense that wasn’t going to be tonight though, something about tonight seemed softer, more delicate, less fucking out our feelings. It was poetic in a way that I’d never experienced with Leah and it sort of weirded me out, not enough to not enjoy the feeling of her tongue slowly descending down on my pussy, licking it’s way through my folds like she was fucking cat. My body reacted almost immediately, letting out more strings of profanities and moans, embarrassingly sinful groans that I was sure Leah’s neighbours could probably hear.
She didn’t stop until I was an incoherent mess, giving me orgasm after orgasm until I couldn’t even talk anymore. Using her tongue, fingers and my facourite vibrator of hers to have me at her mercy. Once I think I’d gotten to my fifth she decided I was done, I was floating on a endorphin cloud, and didn’t even really notice as Leah helped me into her covers and into her blankets and sheets. By the time she had gotten me under them though I’d managed to awaken enough that I was thinking straight and seeing. Leah was lying down next to me, still mostly clothed and as far as I was aware, untouched.
“Let me look after you?”
Leah was never a receiver, told me she found pleasure in seeing me in pleasure, which I loved but I also loved seeing Leah enjoying herself.
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
With that answer Leah had nodded at me, her bottom lip between her teeth as my hand snaked under the covers and down her body, gently unclipping her bra and letting my hand snake further down and inbetween her own legs. She was soaked, dripping straight through her panties and it was pretty easy for me to make her come down with just my hand, pinching her clit and watching her face as she shook and squirted all over my fingers. By the time she’d come down we were both well and truly spent. It didn’t take long for Leah’s hands to wrap their way around my waist, twisting us up in her sheets into a pile of sweat and limbs.
“Missed you.”
Leah’s hands were busying themselves in my hair, massaging my scalp and tugging at my roots.
“Missed you too, Lee.”
My voice was murmured against her bicep, which my head was resting against, giving her easier access to my scalp. I could still feel the faint effects of the alcohol that I had consumed earlier, making me sort of giddy and warm on the inside. Nothing though could compare to the pure warmth of feeling Leah’s breath against my neck, brushing air up and down the sensitive skin.
“What were you doing, before I texted?”
“I was out with the team, getting drinks at the bar on James street.”
I knew that she knew the one I was talking about, I was fairly sure we’d been there together before, but I wasn’t completely certain.
“You left the team for me?”
There was a lot of insecurity in her voice. We were both extremely tied into our clubs, only having played for them and being die hard supporters of our clubs. I bled blue and her blood was Arsenal red, it was just how we were.
“I guess, what did you think I was doing?”
Leah’s hands continued their gentle rub of my head, she practically had me mewling in her arms.
“I guess I thought you were home or something, didn’t really think about it, figured if you were doing something that you would just ignore me.”
“You know that I would never ignore you right. I physically can’t.”
Leah’s hands stopped for a split second when the words left my mouth, not long enough for it to be highly noticeable though.
“I’m sorry I ghosted you.”
“You didn’t ghost me, ghosting is implying that I reached out to you and you have actively ignored me, we mutually discommunicated. It’s not like we’re dating or anything, you're under no obligation to text me.”
Leah’s hands began to slow, a clear sign she was thinking.
“Did you want to text me?”
It was a dopey question, so Leah like.
“Of course I wanted to text you Leah, I just didn’t know what we were and I didn’t want to make assumptions.”
“What do you think we are?”
I let the question hand in the air for a few minutes, contentedly relaxing into Leah’s fingers and thinking about the question.
“I mean Leah, it’s no secret that you make your way around. I always thought I was just another one of your girls that you call when you're feeling horny, I’m fine with that, but I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t wanted more at some stage.”
I heard Leah exhale from above me, we’d always had a friends with benefits relationship, that’s always how I’d classified it.
“I love you, y/n.”
I froze up at those words, they’d been the very last thing I’d been expecting to leave Leah’s mouth.
“No you don’t, shut up, the endorphins are getting to your head.”
It was my defence mechanism, denial and refusal.
“Uh, I’ve got bad news for you, I think I do.”
Before I knew it she was tilting my head back fully, so I was looking at her in the eye and just one look at those brown orbs showed me the amount of sincerity that was held in them.
“What?”
I was so fucking confused, surely it was the alcohol, the scotch that I’d had getting to my head.
“I mean, I know that most of our relationship has been sex, but the mronigns and nights we’ve spent together have been amazing and I know everyone thinks that I work my way around but as soon as I started seeing you I stopped, because you were enough, but it’s not enough for me anymore seeing you once a month or whenever we can, I want you everyday. I want to wake up beside you, I want to have sleepy morning sex and breakfast in bed. I want you all the time, not when we can make it work.”
The sentence was ended with a peck to my forehead, it took everything in my power to not laugh at Leah because even though I knew she was being genuine there was something so funny about this whole predicament to me.
“Are you sure?”
“What do you mean am I sure, of course I am, I wouldn’t have laid my heart out like that if I wasn’t.”
Leah’s voice was full of exasperation, I knew it was taking a lot for her to make these admissions because whether or not she wanted to admit it she was a very guarded person and it took a lot for her to say something like that.
“That’s nice.”
Leah let out a snort, a big, loud snort that just make me smile.
“That’s nice? That’s all I get after laying my heart out?”
“I love you too?”
My words were muttered out between a litter of laughs and breaths as I watched Leah’s face contort into something of annoyance and adoration.
“Can you say it without it being a question?”
I licked my lips and smiled at her.
“What do I get if I do?”
“Will a kiss suffice?”
I bit my lip and smirked at her.
“I love you.”
I put as much into the words as I could, being rewarded with a soft kiss to my lips, both of our eyes were growing heavy and you could tell by the softness in the actions.
“Say it again.”
I rolled my eyes at Leah, reaching up and pressing my lips to hers between every word.
“I,” kiss “Love,” kiss “You,” kiss “Leah,” kiss “Williamson.”
I could feel her smirking against my lips and everything about it was right.
“Now that I’ve made it clear, I’m actually feeling quite tired so how about you give me some hugs and we go to sleep and maybe have that sleepy morning sex you mentioned when we wake up?”
Leah smirked at me, smugly, how she did when anyone talked about sex around her.
“I think I can do that.”
I’d moved onto my side and Leah’s arms had woven her way around my waist, essentially spooning me. It was so wholesome, so unlike anything that had ever occurred between us and before I knew it I was drifting off in Leah’s arms.
I was awoken unhappily by the sound of my phone ringing madly from beside us. I picked it up quickly, before I could get a look at the caller ID, too worried that the sound would awaken Leah. I was lucky she was a deep sleeper. I very hastily pressed the phone to my ear, to be met with the voice of my adoptive sister/mother.
“Where the fuck are you?”
I probably should have expected this call.
“What do you mean?”
“I just got home, you’re not here.”
Fuck.
“I’m with a friend.”
I heard Sam’s growl from the other side of the line.
“You said you were sick, why the fuck are you with a friend?”
I didn’t really have an answer to that question.
“I’m safe, I’m fine, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I hung up the phone quickly, placing it back down on the bedside table and sliding myself back into Leah, tangling our limbs back together and slotting myself back in next to her.
“Who was it?”
Leah’s voice was full of sleep and I was sure she hadn’t even opened her eyes.
“Sam.”
Leah nodded against me, clearly content with my answer.
“What did she want?”
“Wanted to know where I was, I told her I was sick when I left the bar and I guess she got home and wondered where I was. She sounded like she’d had a few drinks, she probably won’t even remember by the time morning rolls around.”
Leah nodded again, I could tell she wasn’t fully awake and didn’t intend on becoming fully awake.
“Go back to sleep, we’ll sort it out in the morning.”
I let myself relax back into Leah’s body, relaxing into her warmth and the safety she offered and letting myself fall back to sleep in her arms.
I would have loved to have said that I awoke to sleepy, morning kisses and sex. I didn’t. I woke up to the sound of somebody pounding on Leah’s door. Both Leah and I shot up in the bed, her jumping up quickly and finding a discarded pair of boxer shorts and an oversized shirt very quickly and me locating my pants and shirt from the night before and throwing them on quick enough to see Leah sliding out of her room and down the hall. I managed to duck my head out just in time to see her open the door and see who was waiting behind it, silently shitting myself when I saw the four women pushing past a very shell shocked Leah.
Millie, Magda, Pernille and Sam were the four last people I wanted to see in this circumstance and place.
“Sure, just let yourselves in, no worries guys.”
There was insecurity hidden behind her words, as much as she tried to make them sound confident.
“What the fuck are you all doing here?”
My voice was close to a shriek, it was 6.30 in the morning for fucks sakes and yet they were all here, looking as bright as daisies in Leah’s apartment.
“You told us you were sick, Sam got an ominous call from you, we looked at your location, it said you were here, so we came to check up on you, see how that sickness was going. Seems like you’ve found yourself a carer in our absence though. I wasn’t aware you two were acquainted, good morning Leah, good to see you getting out of your shell.”
Leah and I both looked at each other and then back at Millie, she could be down right scary when she was mad or annoyed.
“I’m feeling much better.”
There was sass behind my words that I knew wouldn’t slide with the group.
“I think you’d both better get to explaining, fairly quickly, before we all start to make assumptions.”
I smirked at Sam, it was all going to happen in due time I supposed, and there was no way of trying to worm out of this situation so what was the harm in telling a few people. I looked at Leah for assurance and when I saw her nod at me I started talking,
“Leah and I have been in a situation for a few months now, on and off since around the olympics I think. Nothing commitment, just friends with benefits. She texted me last night and I decided I wanted to go see her, so I told you all I felt sick and I headed over to her house. I’m sure you can piece together with your own heads what happened between then and now.”
I waved my hand nonchalantly at the group that was congregated in Leah’s kitchen, they were my family, Magda and Pernille were Millie, Sam and I’s parents and we were all sisters. Magda was the bad cop, because she never let anything slide and was always onto us about anything. Pernille the good cop, always sending us smiles and little graces that we loved her for. We loved the both equally, for the different things they both provided. I knew Leah had a similar relationship with Kim Little, who was like her Arsenal mom, she was probably going to be the next person we would have to face about this.
“What the actual fuck?”
Sam’s voice piping up didn’t surprise me, out of all of them she was the most protective of mek being my National captain as well we spent a lot of time together, she was my best friend in the entire world.
“Samantha, watch that language.”
Sam gave Magda and eyeroll before turning back to Leah and I, Leah who was now standing beside me in the doorway of her room, the room we had previously been sleeping in, something I missed quite largely.
“You’re telling me that you two fucking rabbits kept this a secret for like three years and now you’re telling people, what the actual flying fuck.”
Magda’s hand was squeezing Sam’s bicep and I was a little bit scared for Leah’s safety if that hand Magda had secured slipped.
“Well the circumstances between us have changed, slightly.”
Leah nodded in agreement with my statement, clearly she was trying to help present a united front.
“Leah and I are dating?”
The words felt weird leaving my mouth, but Leah’s nod from beside me gave me the impression that they were the right words and it made me sort of warm on the inside, like drinking a cup of hot cocoa in the middle of winter and feeling it seep into your bones.
“Well, I’m glad we’ve sorted this all out, we’ll leave you both to it, although don’t think we won’t be having words about this y/n, we will be. Besides that I think it’s time we leave, sorry for disturbing you both, sorry for breaking into your apartment Williamson, I’m sure we’ll see you around now. We’ll see you later y/n/n.”
Magda’s voice was strong, it was an order for the rest of the group to leave and for some reason, they did, the four of them blushing, speechless messes as they filed out of Leah’s apartment without any words besides some hushed goodbyes. As soon as the door closed both Leah and I were erupting in laughter.
Seeing her last night maybe wasn’t that bad of an idea? right?
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dreamgrlarchive · 6 months
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A Prissy Girl’s Guide to Fall
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back by popular demand, i’m here with another prissy girl guide! this post is a bit late for the fall but it’ll allow you to finish the season off in a pretty fashion, and transition to the winter smoothly. i’ll be discussing the look i’ve been adorned in as of late and my fav products i’ll be using for the spirit of fall! 💓
what’s the look this fall?
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the look this season is “divalicious barbie.” voluminous hair, tapered square nails and fur details + neutral color palettes. add in a few pops of pink and some sparkly detailz and you got my look this fall. “sexy chic.” i’ve been really leaning into the vibe of a runway supermodel diva emulsion. as you may have seen, my birthday outfit drew from many inspirations, focally the early nineties alaia runway shows. just immense glamour, class and girliness with a healthy dose of sexy.
“it's officially fall bbys. uggs, tracksuits, sew ins are in”
“in are warm scents, fur, leopard prints, brown lip gloss with voluminous blowouts for the fall to enhance my diva essence!”
- @realprissygrl on twitter 🎀
first and foremost…
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the weather is turning so a lot of us are catching colds. take care of your health and rest. protect your immune system and dress according to weather. i almost always get sick around late september/early october and its because of the dip my immune system takes due to the change in climate.
preparation
some of you are in school like me. one of the reasons the fall is my fav season is because it’s time to get back to the basics. you should be developing new study routines around this time or perfecting the ones you have already
new school supplies + stationery. pretty girls deserve to stay stocked up on glitter ink and fuzzy pens
start saving money for the holiday season
get a handle on your halloween look early so not to scramble when the day comes
stock up on tea, immune boosters like emergen-c and medicine
start going outside in the morning to get the vitamin D and K you may lose out on as the seasons turn
set new goals and track them in a diary or planner
try to get well rested. the change from fall to winter can cause a lot of mood and energy complications due to lack of rest
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essentials
a metallic pink starbucks tumbler or stanley cup
new books to read this season
chai tea and espresso for at home lattes + a pink thermos for travel (mine is a barbie pink micro shimmer one by starbucks)
hello kitty pencil caps and planners
velcro roller kit
super cute straw toppers
juicy couture laptop case for school
dry shampoo and clean paddle brush
pink ipad for productivity
victoria’s secret anything
cute hydrophobic jackets + umbrella
cute planner, i take my corset planner everywhere
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clothes and accessories
warm neutrals + pink
layers, layers, layers! i’ve been pairing fur vests/cardigans, and sheer tops
cheetah and leopard print (yes they’re different lol) i’m going for the galleria chanel look this season
preppy looks! tartan, tweed and pleats have been such an essential for me on class days
cute little purses that are only big enough for your phone, lip gloss and keys. they come rhinestoned, fur trimmed or beaded and go very well with preppy lookz
chocolate brown accessories and layers
rhinestones and pearls add the perfect diva touch to any look
hoops 4ever
diamond studs for when your hair is pulled back, the prettiest detail ever
velour tracksuits
shimmery neutral pieces
feathers and gold jewelry to achieve that regine hunter/hilary banks aesthetic
fur trims on sheer tops
fuzzy trimmed half jackets
neutral toned designer tote bags
leopard print totes
blacked out shades
berets
sheer tights including tights with patterns like lace and stripes
ted baker arycon bags. they’re affordable and super freaking cute
fuzzy knitted pieces
knee high socks
cute little pumps + kitten heels
leather booties
uggs… obviously
medium telfar in either ballerina, bubblegum or gold
rubber boots with cute details like metal buttons or fur
furry moon boots
apple watch + charm bracelet stacking
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beauty
brown + pink all season. cinnamon strawberry dessert girl
tape ins + sew ins or clip ins for a budget
soft matte makeup. not too matte (winter) and not dewy (summer)
neutral eyeshadow with a pink glossy lip
voluminous side parted hair with velcro roller curls OR
pin straight silk presses with a middle part
adequate moisture in hair is imperative to ensure hairstyles last long and stay sleek. if my hair reverts too fast i know it’s because its dry
sparkly hair clips
deep pink, mauve and berry blushes
lip balms like tree hut, summers friday and patrick ta
high ponies and half up half down stylez
long curly lashes. my favs are by kiss and lilly lashes or sold on amazon in the pink packaging
invest in a metal roller brush (ulta has super cute pink ones omg) OR a round brush blow dryer to add body to hair
makeup by pat mcgrath and patrick ta for sparkly lookz
beauty blender cleanser is my fav for cleaning my brushes
lip glosses + lipstick in nude pink, nude, deep brown, and baby pink
tapered square french tipz and nude nails
eyeshadow palettes with blacks, reds, browns, grays, and creams. my favs rn are naughty nude and new nude by huda, glam palette by natasha denona and the master mattes by mario
claw clips have been my fav for cute updos
warm scents with notes of wood, oud, musk, cinnamon, pastry, soft florals and brown sugar
smoky eyes + smudged liner + wings
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how-very-superbat · 7 months
Text
Lengthy Superbat Fics!
I'm not sure how to really define 'lengthy' so I'm going for 20k+ (and Superman x Batman of course)
I just looked at how many I have and oh my god this is going to be very long. I will put a *** next to my favourites
From This Day Forward by Mithen (29k) When Kal-El of the House of El must marry a wealthy Terran for diplomatic reasons, Krypton will never be the same.
Action and Re-Action by Mithen (24k) In the first issue of Justice League after the reboot, Batman told Green Lantern he had never met Superman before. This story takes that statement at face value--but what if Bruce Wayne had met him before?
Stranger in a Strange Land by Mithen (27k) (Literally how does Mithen have time for all this) Kal-El of Krypton arrives on Earth as an adult. To the Justice League's surprise, Batman volunteers to introduce him to human ways. There's an immediate bond between the two men, but cultural differences and miscommunication complicate their relationship.
"Did you all have to get sick at the same time?" by Writer_loves_tropes (25k) Alfred is away on a well deserved vacation and Bruce is left to take care of the three Bat boys by himself. He's pretty sure he can easily take care of an eight year old, an eleven year old, and a twelve year old without having to call Alfred for backup. He's Batman. Batman can handle anything, right?
An Honest Conversation by frozenpotions (60k)*** “So Bruce’s longtime best friend had suddenly decided to start eye-fucking him at random. So what? Bruce was used to being the object of this kind of attention. It didn’t bother him. It was—should have been fine. The issue was that it was Clark, and Bruce had enough trouble remaining rational about him at the best of times.” or Bruce and Clark go from friends to lovers the long, long, long way round. Featuring a number of revelations, a well-meaning but nosy son (Dick) and, most prominently, two adult men being completely and utterly useless.
as to which may be the true by susiecarter (53k) It isn't difficult to go on in the wake of Superman's death. His resurrection, though, poses a problem—especially when it turns out there's no such thing as the right moment to explain that Martha Kent's obnoxious billionaire friend? Is also the man who tried really hard to shove a kryptonite spear through Clark's face.
all each riddles, when unknown by susiecarter (52k) Clark, struggling to deal with the events of Black Zero Day, is assigned a straightforward human-interest piece—on Wayne Enterprises. Then Batman catches Superman's attention, Clark Kent starts investigating Batman, Bruce Wayne spends a lot of time arguing with hitting on Clark Kent, and Bruce's best efforts to find a way to hurt Superman start to bear fruit. And then things get complicated.
and if the sun comes by susiecarter (30k) Steppenwolf isn't interested in accepting defeat and walking away. Superman's proven that he's the key to conquering Earth, and Steppenwolf returns with a plan for how to deal with him. A plan that Bruce is able to throw a wrench into—but not without certain unintended consequences.
Only Human by saltedpin (23k) Clark temporarily loses his powers, and while it's initially jarring, he gradually adjusts and tries to go about on a somewhat normal routine after telling his inner circle (which can also include the League since they're building themselves up). Problem is that he is somehow an even bigger danger magnet than Lois in this state.
Loading and Aspect Ratio byJUBE154 (45k) It had started out as a simple design, black everything with black outlines and black hood. It got a little more intense as the world went on, got wind of his ghost on the streets, and became scared of The Bat. So Bruce got a little more creative with it, Alfred and him had a good laugh over the name, the scare. So now the suit had a visible bat-theme, an insignia to drape in the shadows and to paint across the streets of Gotham: “The Batman can fly, you know, I’ve seen his wings.” (A world where nobody has wings, but people think they do, and that changes everything.)
Whoever Falls First by liodain (34k) "There's more kryptonite out there. When the Superman returns, there's going to be an all-star battle royale in the criminal underworld. Every megalomaniacal freak will want a piece of it so they can get a piece of you. And some of them will manage. They'll weaponize it and won't hesitate to use it against you, and when that happens I will not have you flailing around like an idiot." aka: Bruce teaches Clark how to fight.
Repeat Your Favourite Mistakes And Love Them All Again by watchingthestars13 (160k)*** "Oh dear," came Alfred's surprised voice from the stairs, and all of them turned to look at him. His face was a little pale as he stared at all the boys, Jason's huge t-shirt, Tim's dress, Damian wrapped in a spare cape that was in the batmobile. At least Dick was able to fit into Tim's Red Robin pants, and Jason in Damian's Robin pants. Had Bruce been a lesser man, he would've said 'dear god, help'. All it took now was for their eyes to meet before Alfred composed himself.
Opposites Eventually Attract by Pandamomochan (34k) When an accident forces Clark and Bruce to be no more than ten feet apart from each other at all times, both heroes are forced to evaluate what their relationship really means to each other.
The Long Hangover by CoffioCake (55k)*** Clark knows he should take a break: His powers are on the fritz, he feels like shit, and Batman’s treating him like a liability. But Gotham's villains seem to have it in for Metropolis' Big Blue Boy Scout and Clark won't just wait around for answers. Batman might be the world’s greatest detective, but Clark Kent is one of the Daily Planet’s most tenacious reporters. This is definitely a job for Superman.
Conflated by PamiGami (31k) “Are you sure you’re feeling quite all right, sir? I was but fairly sure the head hadn't been impacted.” “No… no, please. Listen. I’m in his body, but I’m not him. I can prove it.” Ill at ease, Clark rubbed at the back of his head, not stopping to think about the weird sensation of feeling not his own curls, but somebody else’s hair. The man continued to stare at him with piercing and scolding eyes. “I believe you.” He nodded. “Mister Wayne doesn’t say please this early in the morning.”
the cost of being a good dad by Mawiiish (96k)*** Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are all tired of watching Bruce struggle with the stress of trying to handle the newly formed Justice League. He needs an outlet, he needs to relax, he needs to get out of the house, he needs... he needs to start dating. And what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?
Get Over It by rotasha (32k) Bruce needs to get over his inconvenient feelings for Superman and he meets an attractive reporter who he thinks can help him do just that. Little does he know...
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onsunnyside · 1 year
Note
Hi Sonny dear!!!✨ would you consider writing a sweet pogue reader and a super mean Rafe!!!😈 he could be the meanest meanie that ever was! Like he can make reader go into tears in seconds 😭! Plus you are such a sweetheart 🤭
hi lovely bestie !! and yes I would 🌚 me thinks… (tw stepcest)
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pogue!reader is a lil crybaby, super sensitive and sweet, as shy as they come 😣 you’ve never known your mother, so you were more than surprised when she married Ward and wanted to reconnect with you. Long story short, you, Sarah and Wheezie have grown close since reconnecting with your mother. All that time at Tanneyhill gave you a glimpse into the Kook life, the immense wealth and comfort, but it also put you in the same place as Rafe. You live with your father on The Cut for most of the year, and regardless of how much you try to fit into the Kook life whenever visiting your mother, you’ll never be like them, Rafe has drilled that into your head.
He’s absolutely terrible, your worst nightmares personified. He has tormented you and, on a few occasions, has made you run out of the house in tears. He isn’t afraid to cut deep into your delicate little heart—that’s why Sarah refuses to leave you two alone together. But try as she might, Rafe will always find a way to corner you:
“What? You don’t wanna say hi to your big brother?” He cocks his head, wearing that stupid grin as you try to push him away, his tall and broad statue barely sways. “Did you forget your manners?”
You gulp, tears already welling in your eyes. He looms over you threateningly, daring you to snap at him, or raise your hand at him (which you’ve only done once after you had a bit of liquid courage).
His hand reaches for you face, those long fingers tracing down your heated cheeks to your neck. “You remember what happened the last time you ignored me?”
How could you forget?
His touch was burned into your skin, his filthy words seared into the walls of your skull like a cruel mockery of how pathetically weak you are. Worst of all, you didn’t hate how good he made you feel. Even to this day, you haven’t touched that spot inside you, or tasted another man since.
“Have you been getting my packages?”
“Y-Yes…”
“Then why haven’t you called me back?” His fingers pinch your chin, forcing you to meet his dark gaze. “That was the deal, wasn’t it? I keep my mouth shut about what a little whore you are, and you do what I say.”
Your thighs clench and a sinking feeling fills your stomach. You’re almost certain you won’t be joining Sarah and the rest of the Pogues tonight, and it’s all because of the sick man in front of you. Tears stream down your cheeks, you feel helpless, not only to Rafe, but to your own confusing desires.
“Crying already? I’ve barely touched you, sweetheart.” He murmurs, peeking down the hall before pulling you towards his bedroom. You try to resist, but he just yanks harder, making you wince. “I’ve missed you, little sis, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
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techs-goggles9902 · 1 month
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Soft!Crosshair and fem!reader please
Maybe with something about his hand tremors?
Why did you wait for me? - Soft!Cross x fem!reader
REQUESTS OPEN FOR ALL LISTED FANDOMS. READ TERMS BEFORE REQUESTING ON MY MASTERLIST
Word count: 767
Warnings: none? Lmk if I missed something
A/N: Hey, I really wanna know who these anons are or if they’re the same person so I can thank you for these requests!!!! Sorry if this feels rushed or anything. I will happily rewrite it next week if requested. I’ve been sick since Sunday and I feel like trash :P
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Ever since he came back, he’s been… off. His calloused fingers, his eyes, his voice, all once so familiar, now somewhat foreign.
But he’s your Crosshair, he always comes around. You’re his girl. This is no different. Right? And, he always comes back. It’s only been a few hours since the Marauder landed on Padu’s upper level, your home, at the crack of dawn. You were roused by that familiar chime on your comlink.
What the hell, Hunter, you thought when you woke. Couldn’t he wait a few more hours until your alarm went off?
He couldn’t, which you now know.
You met the batch while they were on leave a few years back, fell in love with that tall, lanky sniper of theirs. Once Order 66 happened, Hunter advised you to come with them since Crosshair wasn’t the man you met anymore.
You found Pabu, where you settled down while the boys didn’t. Could you blame them, though?
“Stop staring at me like that, Cross,” you say as you cook him breakfast in your warm kitchen, feeling his gaze dig holes in the back of your head as he sits at the island.
“I’m sorry… I just can’t…” he pauses, swallowing. “I can’t believe you actually waited for me.”
“How could I not? You’re you. No matter what Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum say,” You turn, about to scrape the eggs onto his plate when you see his watery eyes. Those dark irises that usually pierce into people’s souls now desperately gaze into your own.
“I… I did a lot of bad things. Why do you still love me?” He whispers as you slowly put down the pan of eggs. You step around the island to embrace the sniper, his face buried into your sternum.
“Shhh… You didn’t have a choice, back at Tantiss.” His shaky hands lock around the fabric of your shirt. He doesn’t make any sound, just lets the tears stream down his narrow face, catching on his stubble.
“That doesn’t answer my question, love.”
You sigh, cupping his tear stained face in your soft palms. “I loved you during the war, loved you when you left on missions, I loved you when you joined the Empire. This is no different. You’re mine, I’m yours.”
His eyes widen ever so slightly as he gazes up at you, for once.
“How ‘bout we get some food, real food, in you and then we’ll talk?” You softly ask, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead.
“Yeah… Yeah, okay.” He nods and you let him go to slide the eggs onto his plate. Watching him eat, you see the muscles working in his jaw as he chews, his temporalis bulging with each bite.
You haven’t seen him since… Kamino. You begged, pleaded for him to join the batch. You remember how he declined and begged for you to join the Empire, they’ll understand, he said.
He finishes eating and you scoop up his plate, turning away to put it in the sink. When you turn around, he’s gone off to your bedroom. You follow, thinking, I bet he hasn’t slept in a while. I mean, really slept.
He stops in the doorway of your room, turning back to you. He quietly asks, “Can I…”
“You don’t need to ask me for anything. What’s mine is yours.”
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You sit against your headboard, his head in your lap. Before, you used to card your hands through his silver curls. Now… You make due with caressing his growing follicles, careful of his lumpy, dented scar.
His hands tremble as they lie against your knee. You tap his fingertip.
“Are you scared?” You ask.
“What? No, why?”
“Your hands.”
“Oh… It just came one day.”
“Tell me… What happened?” You tenderly take his shaking hand in your own and you run your fingers over his too-short nails. Hemlock must’ve had them cut so he wouldn’t claw someone’s eyes out.
Poor Cross… Hemlock’s dying for this.
“You remember the shadows?”
“Mmhmm. The clone assassins.”
“He… Hemlock tried to recondition me into one… I was tested…” He doesn’t have to finish his explanation.
You’re quiet for a beat before you say, “I’m sorry, Cross…”
“Don’t be. You couldn’t do anything.”
“You know, a friend of mine has tremors, too. We can try exercises to… help cope, if you’d like,” you say, pressing your thumb pad down onto his knuckles for a gentle massage.
“I’ll give it a shot, love,” Crosshair says, rolling onto his back to look up at you.
“I love you, Crosshair.”
“I love you too, riduur. You’re my girl.”
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Riduur = spouse in Mando’a
Taglist: @will-is-silly @fionajames @sevdidntdie @dangraccoon @skellymom @hellhound5925 LMK IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED OR TAKEN OFF TAGLIST
Dividers by @ saradika
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