#I’m totally not projecting hahaha
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You know the feeling of growing up and suddenly your friends are married and having kids and moving on without you? I think Brain probably feels that but times 1000
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╰┈➤ i won’t sleep till you’re safe inside.
Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar x Sister!Reader (platonic obviously)
Type: Fanfic - Fluff -> Angst
Word count: 8.5k (🫢🤯)
Warnings: NOT CANON-COMPLIANT! (I’ll make a list of everything that’s probably not canon but is for this fic) colour-coordinated dialogues to make it easier to understand who’s talking, starts out fluffy but evolves into angst, cussing, reader is desi, usage of Hindi (translations given, except for the Sheila Ki Jawani song), hahaha culturedumping & projection go hand in hand 😭
Some Goldenmodel (is that their official ship name??) too! (pls they’re literally so cute 🫠🫠)
A/N: Basically where Pavi loses his sister instead of Gayathri :D
The numbers at the top of every section indicate Pavitr and the reader’s age respectively (reader is older than Pavi) :)
Andddd the Pavitr Bhim Prabhakar hc continues 😁
Probably (Definitely) Non-Canon List:
-reader’s existence basically since she’s the daughter of Maya Aunty and Uncle Bhim (so she’s not technically his sister she’s his cousin but close enough!)
-I actually have NO idea how Pavi’s parents died or anything abt them so I’m basically making stuff up hehe
-Reader also gets the scholarship to Mumbattan that Pavitr got, but for a different subject
-kinda waffling on Bhim’s death since I’ve never actually read the comic where he died so idk much of anything
-Reader helps Pavi make his webshooters (kinda)
-Pav may be a teensy bit ooc I apologize for that
-there’s probably a lot more but none I can pinpoint specifically right now
(this is the song that Pav sings btw)
title inspo:
Will you call me to tell me you’re alright?
Cause I worry about you the whole night
Don’t repeat my mistakes
I won’t sleep till you’re safe inside
(Safe Inside, James Arthur)
——— ———
4 & 6.
“Didi!”
You stifled a giggle, peeking out from behind the tree you were hiding behind to see the tiny boy scrambling over rocks and protruding tree roots, his eyes squinted in concentration as he searched for you.
“Come out, come out wherever you- ai!” He cut himself off with a sharp squeal of surprise, stumbling backwards as you leaped out and bared your teeth like the demonic rakshasas that seem to lunge right off the pages of your mother’s - Pavitr’s aunt’s - mythology books.
“Not fair,” Pavitr complained, glaring up at you and crossing his arms. His nose scrunched at the injustice and you laughed, sticking your tongue out at him and ruffling his hair.
“Totally fair.”
“Nahin! Pura cheating! Didi, tum hamesha dhokha deti ho!” (No! Fully cheating! You always cheat!)
“Oy, Pavi, main kaise dhokha de rahi hai? What nonsense you’re talking.” (How am I cheating?)
“I’m telling Maya Aunty that you’re being mean to me.”
“Wait-”
“Arrey, both of you stop squabbling and come up here,” Maya Aunty’s voice carried down into the lawn from the veranda as she poked her head out of the kitchen. “I made gajar ka halwa. Come eat before Bhim gets back and finishes everything.”
Pavitr’s eyes lit up at the mention of the carrot dessert, all earlier frustrations forgotten for the moment. “Race you!” He turned and darted across the lawn, his hair bobbing as he kicked up clouds of dirt under his shoes.
“Pavi, how is this fair?!”
——— ———
6 & 8.
“Didi! Checkmate! I win!”
“Ai, Pavi, that’s not… chess doesn’t work like…” He turned to you with big, shining eyes, grinning from ear to ear because he thought he had won. You trailed off with a resigned sigh, not having the heart to tell him that he had just got his own king killed.
“Wow, Pavi, you’re getting so good at this! You’re a natural!” You ruffled his hair affectionately, despite his protests and attempts to fight you off.
“Y/N! Yahaan aao!” (Come here)
You immediately perked up, eyebrows drawing together as you heard your mother’s voice, only… something was off. She sounded like she was holding back tears, the beginnings of a raw sob lingering in her throat.
“Haan, Amma? Kya hua?” (Yes? What happened?) (Amma/Maa just means mother)
She sat hunched next to the balcony, a phone in her slack grip. Your father - Pavitr’s Uncle Bhim - knelt with his back to you, holding her and rubbing her shoulders comfortingly. Tears fell from her eyes and the only sounds that split the air were her jagged heaves between soft sniffles.
“Amma? Papa, what happened to Amma?” Unease twisted in your stomach, knitting your eyebrows closer together as you moved forward and grasped your mother’s hand.
Your father turned to look at you and you inhaled sharply.
That was the first time you had ever seen your father cry.
“Pavitr’s parents were involved in an accident,” He struggled to keep his tone even for you.
“An accident? You mean…”
“Yes, beta. They’re… they’re gone.”
Your breath hitched and you backed away slightly, steadying yourself against the wall behind you.
You didn’t know much about what happened - and it would probably stay like that since you were ‘too young to bother yourself with the worries of the adult world - but you knew one thing for sure.
This is going to break Pavi.
I can’t let that happen.
You heard soft patters of bare feet on the marble floors and looked up just as Pavitr’s dark hair disappeared to the side of the doorframe.
Not trusting yourself to speak without breaking down mid-speech, you got up and left without a word, patting your mother’s hand sympathetically on the way.
You found Pavitr sitting against the tree you used to play hide and seek around. He pulled his knees to his chest, resting his forehead on his kneecaps and raising his head when you approached. “What happened, Didi?”
You grasped at words that would help convey it, but to no avail. How could you tell a 6 year old - one who was essentially a brother to you now - that his parents had died?
You had two ways out.
…I should tell him.
“Pavi… Maya Aunty will explain, but… basically, you’re going to be spending a lot more time with us - with me. How does that sound?”
Pavitr grinned, his eyes shining - and of course he had to look like a trusting puppy. Of course it had to make you feel guilty the moment those words, a romanticized version of the truth, left your lips.
“That sounds awesome,” He said happily, half-turning to wrap his arms snugly around your waist in a hug. “We’ll have so much fun! You can finally teach me how to play kancha and lagori like you’ve been wanting to! Right, Didi?”
“…yeah. You’re right.” You leaned down to kiss the top of his head as he nestled comfortably against your side, the strands of hair tickling your chin as you rested your head on his. You felt tears starting to well up as the depth of the situation hit you at full force.
Kaayar. Coward.
——— ———
9 & 11.
“Didi!”
You looked up from your schoolwork as Pavitr burst into your room. “What’s going on?”
“Maya Aunty said there’s some sort of… scholarship? They said we have to go to Mumbattan!” Your eyes shot wide open and you pushed your chair back from your desk to follow him into the kitchen. What scholarship? Mumbattan?
Maya Aunty had told you both that she had submitted samples of your writing and a few of Pavitr’s blueprints for futuristic designs he had come up with for various robotics competitions, but… you never thought the entry would ever amount to anything.
“Amma, Papa, yeh sach hai? Did we get a scholarship to Mumbattan?” (Is this true?)
“Haan, beta.” Your mother looked slightly tired, weary - but ultimately happy. The happiest you had seen her in quite a while. Your father patted your head affectionately, a large smile on his face. “Well done, both of you. Mere champions.” (My champions)
The moment dissipated like it was never there in the first place when Maya Aunty’s eyebrows scrunched together with worry once more as she turned to Uncle Bhim. “Arrey, Bhim. Hum kaise kharch uthayenge? Mumbattan mei, woh kiraaya-” (How will we afford this? The rent in Mumbattan-)
The moment you heard those words, you let out a soft exhale and took Pavitr’s hand, gently tugging on it and leading him away from the ‘adult’ conversation. By now, you were almost conditioned to do your best to avoid conversations that always got your parents stressed out and sometimes led to frustrated breakdowns which simmered into tearful apologies and doubtful plans.
“Let’s go play kancha, Pavi. I’ll even let you start this time.”
You ran out onto the lawn with him, your hand holding onto his smaller one tightly as if you could protect him from all the harm and sadness and worry that the world had to offer.
——— ———
11 & 13.
“Didi!”
“Don’t didi me. You agreed to this, remember? You brought this upon yourself,” You said between giggles that got increasingly louder at how ridiculous he looked.
Maya Aunty and Bhim Uncle were both out buying groceries, and Pavitr was so bored that he accepted your challenge to see who could balance more than five stones on their forehead. And if he lost, you would get to do his hair and makeup.
That was why he was currently sitting in front of you, bright pink eyeshadow on both his eyelids and wearing the brightest red lipstick you could find. He winced in pain, loudly protesting every two seconds as you tried to put his wavy hair into a Dutch braid. He had let it grow out over the past few months, and at the rate he was going, if he left it for even a little while more it’d be longer than yours.
“You need a haircut, Pavi. I think you might be getting split ends…” You couldn’t help but chuckle at the expression of pure horror that crossed his face at your words, which quickly turned to annoyance. “Shut up, you’re just saying that because you’re jealous- ow!”
“Whoops.”
“You did that on purpose.”
“Did not.” You looped a rubber band onto the ends of the braid, finally finishing and tilting your head to critically examine your handiwork. “There, you’re all done.”
Pavitr glanced at his reflection in the compact mirror you offered him. “Wait, I don’t look that bad. I can pull this off pretty well, actually.”
“Sure you can, sweetie. Let’s do your nails now.”
“You’re the absolute worst.”
——— ———
12 & 14.
“Didi! Rise and shine!”
You groaned softly, turning over onto your side. “Get out.”
“Aww, that’s so sweet and definitely not a prime example of you being mean to your younger brother. Seriously though, we have to get going soon for school.” He expertly dodged the spare pillow you threw at him, deciding to kneel by your bedside and stare you in the eyes like some psychotic cat.
“Not everyone’s a morning person, Pavi. Besides, it’s 6 in the damn morning. Come back in another hour.”
Pavitr didn’t respond, just started humming a tune and tapping out a familiar beat on your bedside table, using two pencils from your desk’s mug of stationery as makeshift drumsticks.
“I know you want it but you’re never gonna get it, tere haath kabhi na aani…”
Your eyes shot open as you recognized the song. “No, Pavi, I swear to God-”
“Maane na maane koi duniya yeh saari, mere ishq ki hai deewani…” Stifling laughter, he backed out of range before you could smack some sense into him with another pillow.
“Pavitr! Stop!” You chucked a pillow at him, sitting up and staring at him in utter astonishment at his song choices.
“Kisi aur ki mujhko zaroorat kya, main toh khud se pyaar jataun! What’s my name, what’s my name, what’s my name…?”
“Pavitr Bhim Prabhakar, if you don’t stop singing that song right now-” You lunged forward, trying to grab him and muffle the lyrics of the Bollywood song he was singing - granted, he wasn’t a terrible singer, and in fact he could sing in Hindi quite well, but out of every song he could’ve chosen… this? “By the way, you missed a few lines, but that’s not the point! Stop it!”
“My name is Sheila! Sheila ki jawani! I’m too sexy for you, mei tere hath na aani-”
Chaos ensued in the next few seconds. Pavitr, who had been running around your room doing whatever choreography he could remember from the scene with that particular song in the movie you had both watched, tripped on the fallen pillow and fell flat on his face.
You had been chasing him around and tripped over him, rolling over and landing beside him. Luckily, you managed to break your fall with your palms.
“How’d the ground taste, hmm?” You asked, offering a hand to help him up.
“You’re mean,” Pavitr complained, taking your hand and pulling himself up. You fixed his slightly ruffled hair, a little surprised at how soft it was. Was he already going through the phase of being obsessed with how he looked?
“Yeah, well. You’re in my room at 6 am singing one of the sluttiest Bollywood songs you know, so… you’ll live, buttercup.” You gave his head a rough pat, turning to reluctantly make your bed - might as well, since you were already awake - as he hovered over your shoulder with a grin.
“But hey, it did get you up, didn’t it?”
——— ———
13 & 15.
“Didi! Where are you? I need to tell you something!”
“…I don’t understand. What are you saying?” You felt so paralyzed that you didn’t even register your brother’s voice. Instead you stared at the person you thought was your boyfriend, dangerously quiet. The calm before the storm. He shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with his sleeve and clearing his throat.
“Um, I think we should break up. I’ve kind of been… seeing another girl. Shreya.”
You were careful to keep your expression neutral, crossing your arms to prevent you from worrying at your nails. “For how long?”
“Uh, I-”
“How. Long. It’s a simple question.”
“Five months.”
“Son of a bitch.” You kept your voice low, sweeping a hand towards the door. “The exit’s there. Leave.”
“Listen, I’m really-”
“Get out. I’m serious. Get the fuck out of here before I make you do so.”
He stopped and stared at you for a few seconds, realizing just how angry you were.
“Okay. Well, it was… good seeing you, I guess. I hope you-”
“Didi?”
This time you heard Pavitr call you, soft hesitancy in his voice that carried into the room from the other side of the door. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, Pavi, I’m fine. You can come in.” You covered the cracks in the screens of overly pleasant tones that you layered over your voice so as to make sure he didn’t worry.
He quickly entered your room, and from the way he glared daggers at your now-ex-boyfriend you assumed he had heard everything - or at least, a large chunk of the conversation.
“Hey there, buddy.”
He had the nerve to smile and hold his knuckles out for a fist bump. Truth be told, you felt a sort of bitter satisfaction when Pavitr just glared up at him and didn’t bother lifting his hand to return it.
“Fuck off.”
“What?”
His eyes widened slightly and traveled from the harsh scowl fixed on Pavitr’s face to your dangerously calm demeanour.
“You heard him, didn’t you?”
“I… yeah. I’m going. See you around.”
You followed him with your eyes as he inched toward the door, shutting it behind him.
The moment he left, your unbothered façade cracked and splintered into pieces. You moved yourself to sit on your bed, slipping the covers over your legs. “Thank you,” You murmured to Pavitr, closing your eyes so he wouldn’t see the tears threatening to spill. He came over to sit beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
“Mat rouoh didi. Hum ek movie dekhenge?” (Don’t cry didi. Wanna watch a movie?)
“Haan, please. As long as it’s not Tees Maar Khan, I am not watching that again with you. I’ve had enough of that Sheila ki Jawani. Wait, Pavi, you said you wanted to tell me something?”
“…that’s not important right now, don’t worry about it.”
You didn’t notice him anxiously trying to peel off the edge of the blanket that was stubbornly sticking to the pads of fingers.
——— ———
A week later.
It had happened so suddenly. No one seemed to know anything.
Well, except the fact that your father had died somehow.
I know we fought a lot more in… in the end, but I love you. I always have and I always will, Papa. You made me who I am today, you taught me to know my own worth and accept no less. Believe me, I think about it every day. If you were here I’d tell you.
You wished you could say that out loud, to offer everyone present a window into your thoughts to prove you weren’t just an angsty teenager - or a family disappointment, which a few aunties seemed to believe by the way they were whispering and shooting overly sympathetic looks your way which were quickly followed up by hushed giggles.
But instead you kept your head down and used what little energy you could muster to give a nod of acknowledgement every time a distant relative - even ones you hadn’t seen since you were a baby - popped up in your face to console you.
“Where’s Pavitr? Did he come to the antyesti?” You jumped; you hadn’t noticed your mother hovering beside you until she laid a light hand on your shoulder. She seemed to move around like a spectre; dressed completely in a simple white salwaar kameez with a long white shawl wrapped around her in such a way that it obscured both her arms and her hair, along with part of her face.
“No, I don’t think so - at least, I haven’t seen him.” You looked over her shoulder at the priests starting to get everything prepared for the ceremony and searched the crowds of vaguely familiar people.
Where the hell is he?
Getting the priests to agree to Pavitr - who wasn’t exactly Bhim’s son but the closest thing to it - leading the rituals was hard enough. But then again, it wasn’t like they had much of a choice, did they? You couldn’t exactly do it - the rituals of an antyesti were to be performed by the eldest son. Or the priests themselves, if he couldn’t do it for any reason. Never a woman.
You and Maya Aunty weren’t allowed to do anything except watch and pray.
And now if Pavitr didn’t show up in time-
Thwip! Thwip!
You frowned and shook your head slightly, wondering what the source of that noise was. Oh, well, probably just a pesky mosquito buzzing in your ear.
“Didi, Maya Aunty, I am so, so sorry that I’m late. Did they start already?” You jumped again in surprise - what was it with people sneaking up behind you today? You took in Pavitr’s crisp white dhoti and neatly styled hair, and for a second you couldn’t decide whether to hug him or punch him in the face.
“I’ll tell you everything later, didi. Pinky promise,” Pavitr murmured to you, offering his pinky to you. You linked your little finger with his, looking into his eyes as concern bubbled up to mix with the hurricane of emotions already clamouring for attention in your brain.
He had horrible bags under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept properly in a week. And when you gently squeezed his pinky, his breath hitched as if he was in pain and he drew his hand back after a few seconds. You blinked in confusion, getting a brief glimpse of painful-looking faint purple splotches all along his hand and the underside of his arm. They looked like bruises that had been poorly covered up by foundation that was almost three shades too light for his skin, but before you could say anything he turned to make his way through the crowd.
“Pavi-” You started to ask what was going on, what happened, what was wrong, but he just shook his head, angling his chin toward the priests waiting patiently for him.
“Badh mein, didi. Antyesti ke badh.” (Later. After the antyesti)
——— ———
After the ceremony.
“Pavitr Prabhakar, if you don’t tell me what’s going on-” You came face-to-face with one of your more distant aunties, who immediately lit up excitedly in a way that was probably not suited for a cremation ceremony as soon as she recognized you.
“Arrey, beta! You’ve grown so much! How old are you now? You still sing, no? Kya aapne college ke bare socha hain?” (Have you thought/started thinking about college?)
“Haha… hi, aunty… no, aunty… no, I haven’t thought about college yet… have you seen Pavitr anywhere? I need to find him and it’s really urgent but… oh, uh… yes, of course, I would love to catch up over chai sometime. Sure, we should plan that - oh, sorry, bye! Tell my mother that I’ve gone to look for Pavitr, okay? Thank you!”
Seizing the opportunity that presented itself in the form of another aunty who came waddling over to greet the first one, you squeezed through the crowd of people in sarees and dupattas, some milling about and some dispersing, all accompanied by the almost suffocating smell of jasmine. God, did everyone use the same horrible perfume?
Luckily for you, the antyesti was held fairly close to your house - on a large terrace that was only about a 15 minute walk away.
You got to the front door and fumbled with the set of keys in your pocket for a second, your fingers shaking slightly as the shock and grief began to set in. Adrenaline could only take you so far, it seemed.
“Pavi? Pavi, I’m home, where-”
You opened the door to your room and inhaled sharply at the sight that lay before you. Pavitr leaned against your bed, sitting on the floor with his knees hugged close to his chest, chin resting on his kneecaps. His eyes were squeezed shut, eyelashes fluttering as tears slipped out one after another from underneath them.
“Pavi…? Oh, Pavi, mera chhoti bhai, kya hua? Kisi ne… tumhein chot pahunchaee?” (My little brother, what happened? Did… someone hurt you?) You scooted closer to Pavitr, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and drawing him into your side. He buried his face in your shoulder, tears soaking through the thin fabric of the kurta you were wearing.
“Shh. Sab theek ho jayega. Mujhe batao, Pavi. Kya hua?” (Everything’s okay. Tell me, what happened?)
“I’m Spider-Man.”
You blinked in surprise. Out of all the possible explanations he could have offered you, that was certainly not on your list. “Spider-Man? Matlab… the superhero?” (Matlab means meaning)
The hero had emerged only a week ago. Wearing an intricately patterned mask that left his wavy hair loose at the top, a blue-and-red spandex suit and blue dhoti pants on top of them, he was basically impossible to ignore. You had seen some key similarities between Spider-Man and Pav’s hair, but you had always just assumed it was related to how boys cut their hair like their idols sometimes.
“Chacha died because of Spider-Man. Because of me. He got caught in the crossfire and I couldn’t reach him in time and-” Pavitr’s words spilled together in a panicked haze, blurring each syllable and tripping over letters in an attempt to get them out before he could break again. (Chacha is another word for uncle)
You shifted to face him, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Shaant ho jao. Main yahaan hoon. Main kaheen nahin ja raha hoon.” (Calm down. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere)
“I can’t-” His breath quickened as his whole body started to heave with dry sobs. “Please just… just listen to me. This is what I wanted to tell you last week. I’m Spider-Man.”
He mistook your silence as a sign of disbelief and carried on speaking, trying to convince you. “There were these bullies I was running from, and I tripped and fell into a tree hollow and there was this yogi who said he’d give me the powers of a spider to fight the evil in this world, and I didn’t know it would turn out like this so I accepted and-”
“I believe you.”
That caught him off guard. He pulled back to look at you, his eyes wide. “You do?”
“Of course. You think I haven’t noticed you sticking to everything? You almost ripped the couch’s upholstery clean off because you weren’t paying attention.” You gently swiped your thumb near the corner of his eye, wiping away the tear that was at risk of spilling out. “It’s okay, Pavi. Let’s.. talk about something else for the moment.”
As much as you wanted answers - how exactly had your father died? Which sick, twisted, psychotic ‘villain’ killed him? - you knew when to stop pushing Pavitr and now was definitely that time. Tears still shone in the corners of his brown eyes, not quite ready to fall but not small enough to be blinked away.
“Spiderwebs!”
“What?”
“You need spiderwebs, naa? So you can swing like a spider instead of leaping around and relying on sticking to whatever surface you can reach. Ooh, it’d be so cool if you could shoot them from your hands and lasso bad guys and when they fight back you go dishoom dishoom.” (dishoom is basically just a sound effect for beating someone up 😭 usually punching someone)
“… you mean webshooters?” Pavitr watched your emphatic display of just what dishoom dishoom meant to you with a mildly concerned look on his face before he took a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket and smoothed it out. It was filled with designs for some sort of gadget, the sharp, jagged pencil lines highlighting every feature and listing possible building processes.
“I’ve done some research and I’ve got everything, so I know how to make it. But I need something that can contract if I wrap a web around it… kind of like a yo-yo? But it also has to fit on my wrist so that it’s easy for me to angle where I want the web to go.” He absentmindedly tapped the pencil against the silver bangle you were wearing. The soft clinks gave you an idea and you quickly got up, going to your dresser and rummaging around in the drawers.
“Wait, I think I might have something that’ll work…”
Your fingers closed around what you were looking for and you fished it out. You held two large golden cuffs in your hands, but they weren’t regular heavy cuffs. The top and bottom were actually two separate pieces, joined together in the middle by a stretchy piece of white nylon that went all the way around.
Just looking at it made your heart ache a little as all the memories associated with the simple accessory came flooding back.
Your father had given it to you a few Diwalis ago, when you were throwing a tantrum about having to wear the large bangles to go to with the itchy salwar you had on - against your wishes, of course. But your mother warned you that her mother was a stickler for traditions and insisted on everyone wearing the most colourful ethnic wear you all had, including Pavi.
Your father had slid one of the cuffs onto your right wrist, laughing gently at your surprise look when you discovered how light they were, a stark contrast to the gold bangles that weighed down your other wrist.
“Compromise paaya, hain na?” (We’ve found a compromise, right?)
“Haan, papa.”
Now, more than eight years later, you held one of the last things you had left to keep your father’s memory alive.
And what better way to honour him than to use his kaadas to fight evil and protect the city?
“Use these.”
Pavitr looked up and immediately shook his head, gently pushing away your outstretched hands. “No, didi, I can’t- this is what Uncle gave you-”
“I know. He gave them to me as a gift. And now I’m passing them down to you. Please, Pavi. Take them.” You took his hands, pressing the kaadas into his palms and closing his fingers over them.
Something in your tone made him search your gaze for a few seconds before giving in and bringing the cuffs up to his eyes, testing out the nylon middle. “Wait, this is perfect. If I can just…”
He reached into the depths of one of your drawers and pulled out a small device that looked like it had some sort of fluid sloshing around in its… fuel container, maybe? You furrowed your brow in surprise. “Has that always been there? In my cupboard?”
“Well, yeah. Can’t have Maya Aunty accidentally pulling it out of mine, can we?” He gave you a grin. “Besides, you have so many things stuffed into that one drawer that it’s basically impossible to find.”
He attached the device to the inside of the cuff with a small click and slipped it onto his wrist.
Thwip! Thwip!
With two tiny flicks of his wrist, he had shot two webs to the ceiling and was now hanging upside down, a satisfied grin on his face.
“Well, this is working pretty well-”
Thud.
“Don’t you dare,” Pavitr warned you as he winced and rubbed the spot where he had fallen on his backside.
“I will not laugh. I will not laugh. I will not-”
You couldn’t help but burst into giggles at his mildly pathetic sad-puppy expression as he sat dejectedly on the floor after falling from the ceiling.
“So, uh… the web strength may need some work.”
“Everybody, this is Pavitr Bhim Prabhakar, Mumbattan’s Spider-Man.” You pretend to speak into an imaginary microphone, gesturing animatedly towards Pav as he lay on the floor.
“Oh, sure, announce it to the whole world, why don’t you,” He grumbled, reluctantly pulling himself to his feet.
You gave him an overly sweet smile, leaning over to mess up his hair. “Never. I’m gonna take this secret with me to my grave.”
——— ———
14 & 16.
6 months really went by quickly.
6 months of monthly poojas to honour your deceased father. 6 months of Pavitr being Spider-Man. And also…
“Didi! Why isn’t my hair staying down?!”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because that bad guy threw you into an electricity tower? Pavi, why are you dressing up all of a sudden anyway?” You sat on the floor of your room as you skeptically watched him brush out his hair. He had insisted that your mirror was big enough and ‘had the best lighting’.
He stayed silent, though you could see him scrunch his nose a little in embarrassment. The realization hit you and you let out a loud - maybe overly dramatic - gasp.
“Oh my god! You have a date!”
“…maybe. So?”
“So that means I get to meet and terrorize them! You know, sibling stuff!”
Pavitr froze for a split second, a small smile starting to form in the corner of his mouth at the last part. Siblings. In all honesty, didn’t that word describe the bond you both shared almost perfectly? Siblings - not by blood, but by something so much bigger than either of you could’ve imagined.
“Absolutely not. Gayatri’s-”
“Gayatri? Is she Punjabi? Ooh, is she pretty? Is she really badass and cool and-”
“She’s a model,” Pavitr interrupted, smoothing down his hair and glaring at you. “And this isn’t my first date with her. Just for the record.”
“Wow, and she’s your age? Damn, Pavi, you managed to pull a model! I’m so proud of you right now.”
“I will strangle you if you don’t stop talking,” Pavitr grumbled, punching the bridge of his nose.
“I’m not saying anything bad!”
“Sure you ar-” Pavitr stopped mid-sentence and stiffened, craning his neck and glancing out the window over his shoulder like a cat that had heard something strange. “Wait, someone’s here. Gotta go!”
He dashed into the bathroom and came out two seconds later, fully decked out in his spider suit and mask.
“Don’t get your ass kicked!” You called out as he nose-dived out the window.
“Ha, ha! Very funny!”
——— ———
10 minutes later.
“Pavitr, what the hell?!” You leaped backwards as a strange sort of alien materialized in your room for a split second before they disappeared into a black hole-like void, followed by a… Spider-Man? Not Pav. This one was taller and his suit was red and black, and oh God, was he bleeding from his armpits?
You were tempted to offer him a few cotton wipes and something to clean the wound but he disappeared in after the weird teleporting alien before you could ask.
Pavitr came crashing in through your window, landing on the floor and glancing around. “What? I thought they came here-”
“Really?! Now you show up? I’ve just had some sort of cow-man and a new Spider-Man teleport into my room through a pit and-” You stopped short as another Spider-Man landed on the floor. Except… Spider-Woman? She wore a suit in the shape of a white-and-black ballet leotard and had a hood with web designs on the inside.
“Pavitr, is… this Gayatri?” You tried to wrap your head around the fact that there were three different types of Spider-People and a cow on the wrong side of evolution who had just phased through your house. “Oh, hi, Gayatri, I’ve heard so much about you. Pavi thinks you’re really classy and cool and you’re the prettiest girl alive and-”
Pavitr webbed a pillow and swung it into your face before you could finish, temporarily shutting you up. “Didi, this… this isn’t Gayatri.” Despite his face being covered by his mask, you could tell from his tone that he was embarrassed out of his wits. “This is, uh… this is Gwen. She’s a Spider-Woman. Look, it’s hard to explain, but they’re all from different universes and I think the New Guy’s in love with Gwen, so we gotta go save their romance before it shatters. Bye!”
He leaped out the window again, followed by Gwen - who was stuttering and tripping over her words trying to form a plausible denial for his last statement.
Never a dull day in Mumbattan, I guess.
——— ———
5 minutes after that ordeal.
“Arrey, your chai is getting cold. Drink fast, no?”
“Haan, Amma. Ek second.” (One second) You moved away from where you were hovering near the window. As much as Pavitr reassured you that he was okay, that being Spider-Man was easy now - you still remembered having to disinfect wounds and ice bruises and watch him hiss and crinkle his face up in pain every time you wiped a tissue soaked in Dettol along his cuts.
Maybe those were only fairly harmless flesh wounds, but what kept you up at night was the worry that one day it might turn into something worse.
“I’m drinking it,” You said defensively and sat down as Maya Aunty lifted an eyebrow at you over her own mug. Just as you sat down the whole ground seemed to shake, a horrible din filling the air, screams and the sound of rubble falling mingling together in the cacophony.
“Oh, someone blew down Alchemax,” said Maya Aunty once the noise died down. With a small shake of her head, she casually returned to her chai as if this sort of thing happened almost every day.
“What an idiot.” You glanced out the window, squinting into the distance and widening your eyes as your eyes snagged on a flash of vibrant fabric flying through the air, just barely visible through the pieces of flying rubble.
Oh, fuck, that’s my idiot.
——— ———
You figured the easiest and fastest way to get near Alchemax was to take the bus. After all, those bus drivers had basically decided long ago that they were above the rules of the traffic. They honestly didn’t give a damn about the speed limits and you respected that.
“Hi, Y/N!” You turned at your name, tilting your head curiously because you didn’t recognise the voice.
You found yourself looking at someone who looked oddly familiar, you just couldn’t place it - until you glanced briefly out the window and saw a Zomato billboard. Of course if had to be her, how else would she know your name?
“Oh, are you Gayatri? Hi! It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you from Pavi.”
“Aww, that’s sweet, and likewi-“
The bus swerved sharply and you, Gayatri and more than half of the people who weren’t holding onto the railings were slammed against the back window before the bus started to tilt forward. You blinked away stars for a few seconds as the wind was knocked out of you.
When you regained your vision you let out a yelp of surprise. Someone yelled “Fuck!” right next to you, followed by a string of unrepeatable Marathi cusswords - while also listing out gods and praying to them that they’d make it out alive - and you could understand why.
Some dumbass - or maybe a large piece of rubble - had ripped a hole in the middle of the fucking Mumbattan Bridge. The whole bus was falling right into that hole, and unfortunately the bus driver’s magical ability to fly straight over potholes seemed to have evaded him right now, judging by the fact that he was currently contributing to the chorus of terrified screams.
“Hold on!” Gayatri caught your forearm right as your grip on the flimsy side railing was loosening and pulled you up to latch onto the railing at the back. Good lord, was this girl strong. You decided right then and there that you definitely liked her.
You saw Pavitr stop mid-swing and turn around, his mask’s eyes widening as he saw both of you pounding relentlessly on the back bus window in the hopes that it would break in time.
He shot a web that stuck to the back of the bus, tipping it almost vertically as he held onto one of the bridge supports. His eyes narrowed with effort as he struggled to hold onto the deceptively delicate-looking silky tendrils.
You silently thanked whatever higher power existed for the time when Pavitr fell from the ceiling 6 months ago. If that hadn’t happened, you and the other people on this bus would’ve been flattened on the ground by now. Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down.
Pavitr glanced behind him, his shoulders falling slightly in shock. The web holding onto the bus stretched and dipped, threatening to snap any second. He wrapped the silken web around the support, trying to bring it up.
You and Gayatri were just barely hanging on, your entire bodies dangling down with gravity as you held onto the railing for dear life.
Suddenly something changed. Another web attached itself to the bus and pulled you onto the bridge. Another Spider-Man, possibly?
You let out the breath you hadn’t realized you had been holding as the bus levelled itself on solid ground again. Gayatri gave you a weak smile, grasping your hand and pulling you straight into the throng of people rushing to exit the bus.
The moment she stepped outside Pavitr wrapped her in a hug, eliciting a surprised squeak from Gayatri.
“Are you okay? I was so worried-” He realized his mistake mid-sentence, drawing back from her and patting her shoulders with both hands, unsure whether to cross his arms or rest them on his hips. “Uh, you seem like a nice young woman who I do not know…”
Gayatri chuckled softly and looked past him. “Papa!”
“Gayatri!”
She ran at him and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. Seeing their bond warmed your heart but also made it ache slightly with the acceptance that that could never happen to you with your own father.
“Real smooth, Pavi,” You grinned at your brother, who grumbled something under his breath and closed the distance to crush you in a hug.
“Shush, didi. I just saved your ass.”
“Yeah, I suppose you did.” You ruffled his hair affectionately and pulled back, smiling at the growing shouts of ‘dhanyavadh, makhdi-bhaiya!’. (Thank you, Spider-Guy!)
“Amma’s going to kill you, by the way. She thinks you snuck out to go to some p-”
You let out a soft mmph as you collided with possibly the boniest person you had ever had the misfortune of bumping into. You were pretty sure you had just got stabbed in seven different places by various joints.
“Sorry, I didn’t-” You paused as you looked up, taking in spikes, a leather vest, pins, a guitar, and mask eyes which looked like running mascara.
“Holy shit, you’re really cool.”
The Spider-Man variant blinked in surprise and let out a laugh. “Why, thank you, poppet. I try. Pisses the fascists off so much that they call me Spider-Punk.”
You heard the twang of a well-known (almost infamous, at least in Mumbattan) accent and glanced at Pavitr. “He’s British,” He confirmed, giving Hobie a high-five.
“Well, I don’t care. He looks awesome.”
“Oi, Pav, I like this one.” He gave you an appreciative fist-bump, and you lifted your eyebrows at the sheer size difference between both of your hands.
“That’s my sister.”
“Makes sense. But you know I didn’t mean it like that. She seems cool is all.”
“Wait. If you’re British, can you do us a favour and steal back the Kohinoor? Please?”
“I’ll try my best, but I can’t make any promises. Fuckin’ Sweeney*, I doubt they even know where it’s kept.” (*Sweeney/Sweeney Todd - Cockney rhyming slang for Flying Squad [the police])
You nodded along politely with a smile like you actually understood even one word of that sentence. “Well, okay, in that case-”
You turned and almost burst out laughing. Pavitr looked like he was on the losing end of a staring contest, his hand almost engulfed in Inspector Singh’s much bigger one. Gayatri stood behind him, looking between them in awe. “I’ve never seen him so emotional.”
“Excellent job.”
Your bother just gave a nod, but knowing Pavitr he was internally over the moon and would hold that simple statement close to his heart, insisting that his girlfriend’s dad “loved him”.
“Man-like Miles, my guy!” Hobie grabbed the red and black Spider-Man - Miles’ - shoulders and shook him excitedly, punching him lightly as the people of Mumbattan started cheering.
You were about to join in when something happened. Well, not happened, really, but… something felt off somehow. You had read something once that said a person’s hair stands on end as a warning when lightning’s about to strike. You imagined that’d feel like you you were feeling right now. And you could hear whistling… was that sound just your ears being weird?
The cheers died down suddenly and you turned around too late. One of those portal-holes, slicing through the air like a deadly frisbee, slammed into you and knocked you inside in such a way that you got teleported straight off the side of the bridge. You scrabbled for the supports, but to no avail as you sailed right past them.
You heard Pavitr’s panicked yell, the sounds of confused and worried chatter bubbling among the ground, and the air rushing around in your ears as you free-fell.
You can’t save me, you realized as you saw Pavitr dive off the bridge, reaching out his wrist in preparation of shooting a web. You won’t get here in time. You focused on mouthing the next few words that came to your mind, because if you were going to die and leave your brother you would do so by reminding him that he was - and always would be - loved. Pavi, I’m sorry. I love you. I always will.
Your stomach dropped and your head spun - but by some mercy you didn’t feel the final impact.
——— ———
Pavitr’s POV.
“No, no no no- please, please no-”
Pavi, I’m sorry.
I love you.
Six words. Six words which shouldn’t be used in the same sentence. Those two sets separately, sure, but in very different scenarios.
Those would not be the last words you said to him. They couldn’t be.
Time seemed to slow down, making his movements sluggish and hazy. He stretched his wrist out till it ached, silk erupting from his - no, your - kaada. Come on, come on…
The silk shot toward you and for a second he thought it would reach in time.
Then he heard a crash and watched you fall straight through the flimsy tin roof of an abandoned warehouse. “No!”
He landed after you, shooting a web at a street lamp and pulling up to break the built-up momentum at the last second. Kicking down the warehouse door, he rushed over to your limp form, sprawled across a few empty crates in the dimly lit space.
“Nonono you have to stay with me, please don’t go, I can’t-” Pavitr swallowed hard as he picked you up and set you down with your back against the wall, holding up your jaw so your head didn’t fall forward. He snapped his fingers in front of your face two, three times - no response.
He could feel his vision starting to blur, heart practically causing an earthquake as he shakily put his finger to the pulse point on your neck.
Nothing.
“No,” He whispered into the still air, as if that would be able to revive someone who was so much more than just a cousin. You were his sister, his closest and most annoying friend, his anchor. You were supposed to be a constant in his life. If you were gone… what would go next?
He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, cradling your lifeless body in his arms. But after a little while Hobie dropped in through the hole in the ceiling, and Miles and Gwen came in through the door. He didn’t understand anything they were saying. Pavitr felt like he was underwater, the cold, murky silence filling his ears and bleeding into his brain.
Someone else, much bigger than him tried to drag him away. Someone wearing a beige police uniform and a turban. He kicked and fought, screaming at them that they didn’t understand, he couldn’t leave you, this wasn’t how it was supposed to end. That you were going to wake up soon. You were only unconscious, after all. You had to wake up sometime.
You had to, right?
Pavitr watched as you were placed on a stretcher, a white cloth laid over your body. He slumped in the hands of whoever was struggling to drag him away as all his hopes of you waking up splintered into a million pieces. Pieces that he would step on and trip over and they would cut his skin a billion times. Little tiny paper cuts. Paper cut after paper cut, till he bled out.
Through whatever shocked haze his brain was forcing itself into, he knew that something inside him had broken. Duct tape could fix it. Duct tape could fix anything. Was this metaphor for something? His brain really needed to slow down, he couldn’t keep up with what was and what wasn’t fixable with a single roll of duct tape.
He pictured his heart, the muscles and blood vessels torn clean through in the centre, forming a hole in the shape of you. Did it stop beating? It felt like it stopped beating. Was there a way to check if he was still alive? He hoped he was. Though there didn’t feel like much reason to be. Not anymore, at least.
Oh. Maya Aunty. Someone would have to tell Maya Aunty. No, he would have to tell Maya Aunty.
Two funerals in the span of 6 months. Two core members of the family gone.
Twin flames burning warm and bright, always lighting up the entire place with their own unique luminosities, until they couldn’t anymore. The wicks were extinguished and the candles melted into stumps before their time.
The Spot knew exactly what he was doing, Pavitr realized. Because he might as well have set fire to his entire home.
——— ———
15 & still 16.
Pavitr Bhim Prabhakar was many things.
He was Mumbattan’s Spider-Man. He was Maya Aunty’s nephew. He was Gayatri’s boyfriend. He honoured his dead parents with his last name. He carried the legacy of his dead uncle with his middle name alone.
Most of all, he carried the memory of his sister in every scar that he got that day.
Suddenly every moment you had spent with him seemed too little. Even just one of your hugs would take away some of the pain.
Keep them in your heart, they’re watching over you. Recall the memories you made with them.
What did that even mean in this case? You had gone too soon. Dead, cremated at 16. You weren’t even an adult. And what hurt the most was that everything - from your room to your belongings - was exactly how you left it.
It had been almost 3 months and he still hadn’t let anyone change anything in your room. The messy duvet could stay messy. And the pillow that was thrown at the foot of the bed had taken up permanent residence there.
The room smelled like vanilla and honeycomb. And it would stay that way for as long as he could help it. If someone rearranged anything, would that part of you disappear from this house? He didn’t want to find out.
Everything that made this room yours would stay there, it had to. The way you meticulously arranged every makeup and hair product by height, colour and serial order on your chest of drawers. The way your cupboards always smelled of cotton candy because of an essence diffuser your friend had given you.
Gayatri, Miles, Gwen and Hobie had all tried their best to help him, and Margo had even dropped in a few times and offered to play video games with him. And admittedly, he was in a much better frame of mind than how he was only a little while ago.
He sat on the floor, hugging his legs loosely to his chest and clutching a mug of chai in one hand. Pavitr couldn’t say anything even if he wanted to; the altogether lack of the owner of this room made the silence even more oppressive and suffocating.
He stretched his legs out slowly, refusing to let his mind wander. Focus on the wallpaper. Focus on the sound of traffic. Focus on the chai. Focus on anything except the posters, the pillows, the way that it felt like time itself was holding its breath inside this room.
Pavitr’s leg brushed something hidden underneath the rug in front of him. Frowning slightly in confusion, he leaned forward to peer underneath the fuzzy square of fabric - finding nothing but a small notebook and a pen.
He pulled it out and, upon recognizing it, drew in a surprised inhale. The leather-bound cover was dusty and worn out. The label that read Bhim Prabhakar in neatly printed handwriting had been scratched out, jagged words cutting across the paper like tiny knife strokes. His heart squeezed when he read the word written in the second handwriting.
Y/N.
Of course he remembered this book, how could he not? On days when you had noticed he felt sad, you tore out two lined pages of paper and made him write down what was bothering him in a letter.
“Here, Pavi. Write it to anyone you want, and fill it out with everything bad that happened today. You don’t have to send it to them, don’t worry. I’ll even do it with you.”
He still remembered the first time he had done that activity with you. You both sat back-to-back, scribbling down all the ‘yucky feelings’, as you had put it once. Pavitr had finished his letter and surprised you by addressing it to you, twisting around to hand you the folded piece of paper.
You hadn’t addressed your letter yet, so you wrote his name on the top in big block letters.
To: Pavitr Prabhakar.
Because it was a very official document, you had explained solemnly.
And when you took a look at how he had mentioned you, you had lunged forward and trapped him in a bone-crushing hug.
To: The Best Didi In The World.
He felt tears well up slightly as he recalled the amount of times he went and wordlessly sat at the edge of your bed, pointing to the leather journal. And you would pull out two pages, hand him a pen, and sit back-to-back on the floor. Every time, without fail.
Pavitr opened the book, running a hand along the pages of handwritten letters that were unevenly glued or stapled in. Some were tearing at the edges, others had chai-stains or ink splotches.
He carefully pulled out a page - only one this time - and picked up a pen from the mug of stationery on your bedside table.
Pausing to think for a second, he tested the pen on the bottom of the page. Then moved the tip to the first line.
Dear Y/N,
Pavitr stopped and narrowed his eyes at that. It felt strange, almost alien for some reason. A foreign word on these pages.
He tapped his pen on the page as he got an idea. He scratched out the two words he had written, addressing it to someone with a different yet more familiar title, at least to him.
To: The Best Didi In The World.
I know very little about the antyesti process so if anything’s wrong don’t hesitate to correct me! <3
Glossary:
Antyesti - Antyesti literally means "last sacrifice" or "final auspicious ceremony", and refers to the funeral rites for the dead in Hinduism, which usually involves cremation of the body. This rite of passage is the last samskara in a series of traditional life cycle samskaras that start from conception in Hindu tradition.
Saree/Sari - A saree is a garment consisting of a length of cotton or silk elaborately draped around the body, traditionally worn by women from South Asia. It is usually worn with a blouse that exposes part of the midriff, but blouse styles can vary.
Dupatta - A length of material worn arranged in one or two folds over the chest and thrown back around the shoulders, typically with a salwar kameez or a kurta, worn by women from South Asia. (Srry guys u have to look up those two definitions if ur curious,, it’s better to see how it looks rather than read a description anyway)
Kancha - Kancha is played by using marbles. It is popular in small Indian cities and villages, among small boys only as a gully sport. It is rarely played by girls. The participant has to hit the marble kept in a circle. If he hits the target properly, he wins. The winner gets the kancha (maybe kanche is the plural form? idk) of the other participant boys.
Lagori/Pithoo/Seven Stones - Lagori is a traditional game from the Indian subcontinent. It involves a pile of stones and a ball.
A member of one team (the seekers) throws a ball at a pile of stones to knock them over. The seekers then try to restore the pile of stones while staying safe from the opposing team's (the hitters’) throws. The hitters' objective is to hit the seekers with the ball before they can reconstruct the stone pile. If the ball touches a seeker, that seeker is out and the team which the seeker came from continues, without the seeker. A seeker can always safeguard themselves by touching an opposite team member before the ball hits the seeker.
@hobiebrownismygod @l0starl @therealloopylupin2099 @vhstown
#⋆·˚ 🌹 ༘ * — 𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗶’𝘀 𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙨!#⋆·˚ 🌺 ༘ * — 𝙝𝙞𝙗𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙨!#across the spiderverse#atsv#atsv x reader#pavitr prabhakar#atsv pavitr#spiderverse pavitr#pavitr atsv#pavitr prabhakar x sister!reader#pavitr prabhakar x reader#pavitr prabhakar x you#pavitr x you#pavitr x gayatri#platonic atsv fanfic#atsv fanfiction#pavitr x reader#atsv angst#atsv fluff#kinda counts ig??#tbh it’s not as angsty as i thought it would turn out to be#but whew#it took a long time to write#Spotify#guys i must admit this is barely proofread#i’m so sleepy#goodnight!#queued post
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Rizzoli and Isles is actually a show about a Queerplatonic Relationship.
Okay hear me out.
So, I always have shipped Rizzles. There are many MANY ways in which these are queer coded characters with a heavy romantic subtext, that a lot of the time honestly bleeds into the maintext. A lot of the actions and dialogue that we would typically interpret as romantic, especially between a hetero pairing, certainly works for this show.
But I did a re-watch of the show recently, and while I still ship them romantically, I actually think what is being portrayed between them is something else. They are DEFINITELY more than friends; I mean they are life partners in every sense of the word. But the kind of dynamic that is CANONICALLY portrayed between Maura and Jane, is in fact, a Queerplatonic Relationship.
So here’s a working definition of the term for those who aren’t familiar with it:
Queerplatonic relationships and queerplatonic partnerships are committed intimate relationships which are not romantic in nature. They may differ from usual close friendships by having more explicit commitment, validation, status, structure, and norms, similar to a conventional romantic relationship
I have actually experienced something like this, (and yes I’m going to get a bit anecdotally personal here; I’ll try not to be too long winded, but it’s relevant, I promise lol):
I had an (unspoken) kind of relationship like this with my best friend in my early/mid 20s. We have been best friends since I was 11, but something definitely shifted when we became adults, and I have to say, I ended up, quite unexpectedly, being deeply in love with my best friend...platonically. I didn’t want to date her. I didn’t want to sleep with her. But, I was totally devoted to her and we were each other’s person for years. We were each other’s assumed plus one for everything, we regularly did dinner dates, we gave each other super sentimental cards and specialized gifts on birthdays, we also regularly did domestic shit together like grocery shopping, errands, chores, house projects; you name it, we had it/did it. I mean we were even each other’s phone background for a while lmao. We never lived together, but we had keys to each other’s places.
Now a lot of this shit can happen and does happen in standard friendships (maybe not the phone background thing; that was super gay ngl hahaha), but the thing that made this different was the level of assumed partnership going on between us. And the...energy. We would stare deeply into each other’s eyes. We had that magnetic kind of magic with each other, like no matter where the other is in the room, we find our way back to each other. And people literally perceived us as a couple. Hell, my other friends teased us about it.
Any of this sound familiar?
Oh and I DO find her to be attractive and even sexy. And we flirted (still do lolol) a LOT.
But I didn’t ever really.....actually want to have sex with her. Not that I would’ve even necessarily been opposed to it, because we were so close, but it just, wasn’t ever a desire for me.
This was interesting to experience, because I do identify as a lesbian, I have been romantically attracted to people, sexually attracted to people, and the two, as society expects, do usually go hand in hand for me. But with her, I honestly could’ve seen forever; like being exactly as we were, as life partners, I could’ve even seen myself raising kids with her, and I would have been TOTALLY, GENUINELY content with it, ‘cause my relationship with her filled me up in a way nothing else has. This was confusing as all hell to me for a long time, because I didn’t have a name for this until recently when I learned about the concept of Queerplatonic Relationships which again supersede friendship and often are life partnerships, but aren’t inherently romantic or sexual, even though they are quite deep. I actually think QPRs speak to that “limitless” “otherwise undefinable” kind of relationship dynamic.
Sooo - and I promise I’m wrapping my story up - when my bff met her current boyfriend, which is her first super serious adult relationship, I didn’t quite experience jealousy, I mean I always envisioned a romantic partnership for her, and I still want that for me! Buuuut...my feelings were complicated because it’s like...I had to mourn what I lost, as our dynamic inherently changed, and the fact that I wasn’t her person anymore. Weird thing to process indeed. Also *ahem* SOUND FAMILIAR?
Without getting too carried away here (oh who am I kidding, I already have 😂) for comparison’s sake, I actually went through a crazy ass heartbreak with someone, also while I was in my mid 20s; someone to whom I WAS romantically, sexually, spiritually, connected and attracted. I mean I was IN LOVE with this woman and she broke my heart by not fully reciprocating my feelings and not wanting to be with me. I thought I was gonna die when we stopped talking. Hell, it’s been years and I still think about her.
But if you were to ask me who the true love. of. my. life. has been so far...I’d pick my best friend!
The funny thing is I think a LOT of women end up in these kinds of dynamics, ESPECIALLY queer women, maybe even more so queer women who form super close relationships to “straight” women (gotta put str8 in quotes ‘cause...this shit is inherently queer even though it’s not romantic/sexual). You all know what I’m talking about; You’d do anything for each other, there’s chemistry, connection, and care, yet it doesn’t quite fit into any box you try to give it. People read you as a couple. You know this about yourselves, and you just...accept it. Because what you have is actually beyond any label. You know?
Anyway, I think there’s actually something cool and radical about this and I know that queer people want and deserve romantic and sexual representation, but I think this IS an accurate kind of representation that happens all the time that isn’t appropriately covered or discussed in media.
In hindsight, I think that’s what really hooked me on R&I. I mean, I started watching ‘cause I thought they were lesbians, and I kept watching ‘cause I thought it would be canon! And yeah, I still think about what could’ve been with them: fanfiction is good for that. But why do I still watch the actual show? Well...I LIVED it.
Now: do I think that Maura and Jane often tip the scales a lil’ TOOOOO far in the explicitly gay direction on this show? Oh hell yes! Do I think you can interpret them as two people who are madly in love, romantically, with each other, yet are too scared to do anything about it? Oh hell yes! Like I said I do ship Rizzles. BUT, if I’m honest about what is FULLY, CANONICALLY being portrayed, no subtext, ALL maintext: It’s 10000% a QPR.
So no: Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli are certainly not JUST friends. They aren’t just colleagues, although their work relationship is just as powerful and awe inspiring as their personal one. They aren’t really like sisters, although they can quarrel like siblings at times. They aren’t truly romantic, although they are essentially life partners. They aren’t in a sexual relationship with each other; not that it couldn’t go there, but I also see how it wouldn’t need to go there, and how that doesn’t diminish the bond at all. They have something that I recognize -and something I think perhaps many of us recognize too- something beyond definition, because at the core of it they are true-blue soulmates who share a kind of unconditional love that is rarely found in ANY kind of relationship. If there is a definition that comes close to summing this kind of thing up: Queerplatonic Relationship is the answer!
Idk just felt like sharing this. Thanks for reading 🤓
#rizzoli and isles#rizzles#maura isles#jane rizzoli#maura x jane#queer platonic partners#queer platonic relationship
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₊❏❜ Kazujun Final One-Shot masterlist ? My thoughts about Kazuya's character in tekken 8? Bad writing?
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( Kazujunweek24! )
̗̀➛ Request Open! (For tekken)
Hello this is the masterlist where I put all of kazujunweek projects in one place for 'easy read' . I found tumblr's format is morr easier to read!
My feeling towards Kazujun?
They're my favorite ship in tekken aaa ! I rooting for them since I was 9 year old 😭 I was so curious about their 'mystery' connection , loving their dynamic and now in 2024 all of my question just been answer! ( not quite ? ) but I love their relationship so much , I would write a romance novel just for them! 😭
My thoughts about Kazujun in Tekken 8
Hear me out , I love the characters ending! The way kazuya talks about jun in his interview! They way they smile at each other . GAHHHH They're so cute!
However , I was dissapointed about the story mode a litttle bit eventhough I was screaming and Crying when 'walkthrough' the story mode .
I am a literature student so the story foundation and tekken lore are important to me .
But here's my opinion , I hate the way they only show Jin's struggle where we ALL know that Kazuya also trapped in his trauma eventhough he's like 50 year old man . That man still trapped in Heihachi shadow , He only see 'power' as his saviour and he's totally a slave for power because of his past trauma .
I want to see Kazuya's thoughts , Like bamco deep dive into his mind! Show his past , show his past with jun! This is where you can bring the element of contrats of the relationship between the 3 of them .
Don't get me wrong . I love Jin ! He's my top husbando in tekken but bro litsen , Kazuya also has his own struggle . Tekken 8 should show both of their struggles , They potray Kazuya as "HAHAHA EVIL , KILL ALL OF THEM" Yes I love when he act goofy but I also want to bamco shows his thoughts about his own struggle . That's all! So let's deep dive into my Kazujun masterlist!
Kazujunweek24 masterlist!
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Summary
If a little dancing can help Ladybug de-stress, Adrien doesn't mind if she doesn't know all the steps.
Written for the @ladrienjune prompt "slow dance." Posted early because I have no self-control 😂.
Read on Ao3 or under the cut!
...
At the sound of Ladybug crashing into something—the foosball table, as it turned out—Adrien set down his pen and swivelled around in his desk chair, watching as she rubbed her hip and returned to pacing around his room. She'd shown up twenty minutes ago, insisting she didn't want to distract him from finishing his homework once she'd realized he was working on it, and had then started wandering around like she might implode if she stopped.
He'd let her be for a while—experience told him that sometimes she just needed to get something out of her system. But at this point, he doubted whatever was bothering her was something she'd manage to walk off.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
She jumped at the sound of his voice, almost crashing into the sofa as well. And under other circumstances, Adrien might have smiled. He loved every side of this girl who’d long ago stolen his heart. Her inability to walk straight was no exception.
(“Besides,” she would say if he teased her about it, “what kind of bisexual would I be if I walked straight?”
And Adrien would follow up with some joke about how he should stop walking in runway shows if that was a qualification for being bi.)
But today didn't feel like the time for jokes.
“W-what?” she said.
He shrugged, following her lead when she glanced away—he didn’t want her to feel overwhelmed. But he missed having her in his line of sight—even when he’d been finishing up his math problems he’d been able to see her reflection on his darkened computer screen. So he quickly shifted his eyes back to her, smiling when he noticed she was watching too.
“Whatever’s on your mind.”
Her eyes widened. “I didn’t say…”
“I know. I could just…tell.”
“Ugh.” She made a face as she slumped down on the couch’s armrest, falling back against the cushions a second later. “I’m the worst company today, aren’t I? Sorry. I can go if I’m too much of a distraction.”
“No!” Adrien shouted, loud enough that Ladybug sprung back to a sitting position, bracing herself on the back of the couch. He smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to shout, I just...well, I don't want you to go. I love it when you visit, and I’m almost done with my homework anyways. It just seems like…maybe you’re upset about something?”
Ladybug stood, fiddling with her hands as she slowly made her way towards him. She stopped beside him, and for a second he—foolishly—hoped she might sit in his lap. Instead she leaned against the edge of his desk, tracing a finger over the numbers and variables he'd inked into the page.
"I'm not...upset, exactly," she said. "More like...stressed. But it's no big deal." She shrugged. "Just life stuff."
She sent him a somber smile—the kind that had I'm trying to tell you I'm fine—totally FINE! But actually I'm coming apart at the seams HAHAHA written all over it. Adrien knew it well. But he hated seeing it on someone he loved.
"Is there any way I could help?" he asked.
"I mean, if you could take down Shadow Moth, that would be great."
"No problem!" He smiled. "Be right back."
Committed to the bit, Adrien was steps away from his bathroom when a giggle cut him off. "Are you hiding him in the shower or something?"
"Psssh. No! I was trying to fake a dramatic exit."
"Through the bathroom? Were you going to jump out the window? Slide down the drain?"
"Actually, there's a secret passageway behind the mirror."
"Wait. Really?"
He laughed. "No. But good to know you believe me so easily."
"Pfft. That was the last time, Agreste."
"Uh-huh..."
Still grinning, Adrien made his way back to the desk. When he got there, he rolled the chair away in favour of leaning against the desk beside her. He wasn't bold enough to sit so close that their hands would brush, but he was rewarded anyways when Ladybug leaned her head against his shoulder. Adrien’s heart skipped a beat. Or ten.
He wanted to say something else, but he didn't dare disturb the moment.
"I just have so much to do," she said. "But it's all stuff I have to wait for. Like, I'm organizing an event for my class at school, but nobody's getting back to me about what they can bring. And I promised my parents I'd help them install some new shelves, but the order keeps getting delayed. And then there's Hawk Moth, who could strike at any time. And like...the only things I could probably get started on are a few projects for school. Except those aren't due for at least a few more days, so I can't seem to make myself actually start them, and so I keep just playing things over and over in my head, trying to figure out what activity I'm going to slot in when, but there's no good answer, and ugh. I have fifteen kwamis in my room, including one I could use to see the future, but then, like, that might" —her next words were encased in bunny ears— "mess up the timeline."
She sighed, hands slumping back to her sides. "Which really means that none of the superpowers at my disposal are actually helpful, and it's just...I feel like I'm never going to get anything done, which is stupid, I know, but..."
She finished by standing up—Adrien immediately missed her warmth at his side—and throwing her hands up in frustration while she made some indecipherable noise. Then her eyes locked on his and widened, like she'd only just remembered he was there.
"I don't think it's stupid," he said gently. "I think...it's amazing you do all that and still manage to be as wonderful as you are."
His words seemed to have the opposite effect as intended, making her shoulders slump. "But I'm not wonderful. I snapped at my best friend today, and at my cru—uuuh...at my other friend." She started pacing again. "And now I'm dumping all my problems on you, and you probably think I'm crazy, and you'll never invite me back here, and..."
She listed a few more things Adrien couldn't quite make sense of—something about kids and hamsters?—but he didn't think the words were really for him anymore. Unable to watch her keep spiraling, he stood and walked over, stopping her mid-sentence by setting his hands on her shoulders.
"Hey," he said. "I'm sure everything will turn out okay."
Her gaze dropped to her feet. "Maybe..."
"Definitely."
She only sighed in response.
Adrien debated his next words carefully. Part of him wondered if he was secretly being selfish considering his next question—the idea was definitely thrilling to him. But if he were in her position, he was pretty sure it was what he would want someone to ask, even if he weren't in love with that someone. And he probably didn't have much to lose.
"Would you like a hug?"
Her eyes shot back up to his, gleaming with some emotion that sent a thrill through him. Then she nodded, and Adrien wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her.
Of course she fit well there—he'd hugged her enough as Chat Noir to know that. But he wasn't expecting the way she practically melted into his embrace, or the way his heart rate skyrocketed when her breath ruffled his T-shirt. She smelled of something sweet and floral—he'd ask her what shampoo she used if that weren't so creepy. And even the way the ends of her pigtail brushed against his arm when she turned her head was a tiny bit of ecstasy he was certain he'd remember for the rest of his life.
But the hug wasn't about him
"Do you feel better?" he asked maybe a minute later, rubbing a hand down her back. She didn't answer, so he pulled back and searched her expression. "Ladybug?"
Her face crumpled. "No. I still can't stop thinking about everything. And you're being so nice, which must make me awful, and—"
"It doesn't," he assured her. "You're still incredible."
That time, his compliment earned him a tiny smile.
"Maybe you just need a better distraction," he said, before he had to watch that smile fade. "We could...play some mecha strike?"
She shrugged, shaking her hands at her sides. "I feel too...jittery to sit down."
"Ah. Okay. I guess that means a movie's out of the question."
"Sorry."
"It's okay, I promise. We'll figure something out." Adrien bit his lip, looking around the room. So much stuff, but none of it was useful. Then an idea popped into his head that tugged a smile onto his face. "We could...dance?"
Ladybug laughed. "I can't even walk without running into something, and you want me to move other parts of my body at the same time?"
"So, we'll slow dance then. No way you mess that up."
She snorted. "No, but I can totally hurt you when I step on your feet twelve thousand times."
"Twelve thousand? That would actually be impressive."
She laughed again, then sobered. "But do you really...do you want to dance with me?"
Suddenly nervous, Adrien resisted the urge to scratch the back of his neck. Instead he reached out his left hand, trying to project confidence despite the flutters that rippled through him when he noticed her cheeks redden. "It would be my honour."
Taking a deep breath, Ladybug reached for his hand. Adrien followed up by taking a half-step closer and hesitantly settling his free hand on her waist. After that, she seemed at a loss with what to do with her other arm, but she slowly bent her elbow and placed a hand on his chest. Instinct—from lessons he'd taken years ago—told him she should technically put her hand a little higher, but he pushed those feelings aside, trying his best to focus on nothing but her.
That wasn't exactly hard when her eyes found his.
"S-see?" he said, a little breathless. "You're already a pro."
She bit her lip, unable to conceal her smile. "We're not even moving yet."
"Well, that's not so hard either." He took a small step back. "Just one step after the other."
"One after the other," she repeated in a whisper, lowering her gaze as she followed his first step.
They went on like that for a while, in small slow steps, eventually building up some semblance of rhythm. Ladybug started humming some song at some point—one with 4/4 timing that didn't at all work for the waltz he'd been counting in his head. But somehow that made the moment even more perfect, like how when she finally stopped paying so much attention to each step, she giggled every time she stumbled into him.
She was finally smiling, and nothing else mattered
"Thank you," she whispered against his chest when they got tired of actual dancing and ended up swaying slowly behind by the window. "I feel better now."
Lost in the moment, Adrien didn't even think before bending down to kiss her head. "Me too, my lady."
...
Thanks for reading!! 💜
#miraculous ladybug#ladrien#ladrienjune2023#coffeebanana fics#fluff#adrien agreste#ladybug#long post
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You should make a just asks page, with the gay lovers and stuff, that would be cool
Ohohoho like a Metadede ask blog? Unfortunately if I take any other projects on, the Roleswap comic would take me decades to finish and I need to prioritize commissions as well! :O
And to be honest my best ideas (shipping or otherwise) tend to come to me randomly haha. Like when I’m driving or looking at spreadsheets or cleaning my bathroom :P I don’t know if I’d have enough organic genuine ideas to sustain an entire blog just about it! I do love receiving asks about fun drawing ideas, sometimes they inspire me to pursue an scenario further even if I can’t guarantee getting to every single one! I appreciate every last message just the same 🥰
And thank you so much omg?! How kind!! I can’t claim to be a true master of writing relationships hahaha I don’t even have much irl experience in them! (Which is totally fine because I am really enjoying being single lol. I get to do whatever I want with my time which has been great for me) But I am a sucker for a good cheesy, fluffy romance and all related tropes so I guess that tends to come through in my ideas hahaha. Thank you! :3
#ask#metadede related content#hopefully the amount of random spurts of inspiration on this blog is still fun for everyone haha
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HIII THERE!! coulddddd i please ask for a lee!tsukasa (project sekai) x ler!reader (totally not in love with this man) where ermmm sorry i’m thinking of this on the spot LMAO they’re like cuddling and reader starts messing with him and tickling him etc !!
i love ur writing btw 💗💗
Happy belated birthday, Tsukasa!
I know I'm like 2 days too late for his bday but shhshshh
I managed to get his bday card in jp so he deserves some celebratory tickles~
And glad you enjoy my writing ^^
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Tsukasa x gn!reader (romantic)
Lee: Tsukasa
Ler: Reader
Warnings: Tickles!
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After a long day of celebrating the world's future star's birthday with all his friends, it was time to unwind with his special someone. You and Tsukasa were all cuddled up in the Tenma living room. Saki was out with her girlfriends and parents weren't home, just the two of you enjoying each other's presence...
"Ah, today was so fun! But I think I'm beat for the night..." he let out a soft chuckle, throwing his arm along your shoulders and pulling you closer into him.
"I bet, you were running all over the place trying to keep up with everyone. But now I get to keep you all to myself...~" you sent him a flirtatious smirk, wrapping your arms around his waist. His cheeks turned slightly pink, the bold comment making him let out a bashful giggle.
"Oh yeah? So... have anything in mind you wanna do?~" he whispered teasingly into your ear.
"Hmm... I have some ideas~" as you spoke, your arms lightly squeezed around his waist, causing him to let out a startled gasp.
"Oh no no no! It looks like I've fallen for your trap!" he sighed dramatically, placing the back of his hand up to his forehead and crashing down across your lap. As if cupid himself struck him right in the heart.
You rolled your eyes at his playful antics while tenderly running your fingers along his hair. "Someone seems a bit excited~" you teased him, causing his cheeks to grow darker in embarrassment.
"W-well... y'know I can't resist your birthday tickles...~" he spoke looking like a shy schoolboy in front of his crush. His gaze staring at anything else besides your own and fumbling with his fingers.
"Aww, does my cute, little star want his birthday tickles already?~" you cooed down at him. Tsukasa's face turned all red as he started giggling from the teasing alone. He hid his face behind his hands and drummed his feet against the couch from how giddy he felt.
The blonde let out a cute, little whine and a shy nod. Feeling too embarrassed to properly respond.
"Hehe, anything for you cutie~" you placed a sweet kiss along his hands as your fingers started to gently roam along his belly. The reaction was instant as Tsukasa squeaked and started rolling around your lap.
"W-waHAhait! I-I wahahasn't reheheady...!" he tried to protest, but his constant giggles just made him look even cuter. Which just made you want to tease him more...~
"But sweetie, you asked for this. Weren't you just saying how much you just love it when I go coochi coochi coo~".
Tsukasa squealed in ticklish glee from the teasing. He brought his arms down to clutch at his torso, revealing the toothy grin on his face. "Gaaah! Hahaha! S-shut uhuhup!!" he protested, although we all knew he loved the teasing as much as the tickles themselves. Your fingers ran up and down his sides and all over his belly, occassionally poking at his navel to make him squeak in surprise. All his reactions were so precious.
Even if he was wriggling around like a maniac, the genuine look of joy in his face over something so innocent was enough to make your own heart feel warm. His infectious laughter always managed to crack a smile on your face.
Once he started hiccuping through his hysterics, you slowed your fingers to a stop, opting to soothinly rub his stomach. "Is that better, superstar?" you asked with a soft look on your face, making Tsukasa feel like mush. He truly loved these moments, and so did you.
"Y-yeah hehe... that was fun~" he admitted with a bright smile plastered on his face. He was a bit out of breath and still slightly giggly so you kept comforting him a while longer until he fully calmed down.
He sat back up, snuggling close to you "Best present ever~" you both chuckled as you spent the rest of the night cuddled in each other's arms.
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I feel like I made this very self indulgent akdhskfhskjd
#project sekai#tickle fic#project sekai tickle#colorful stage#colorful stage tickle#project sekai tickle fic#colorful stage tickle fic#tsukasa tenma#x reader#project sekai x reader#tsukasa x reader#lee!tsukasa#ler!reader
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could you write eddie biting his lips up really bad cause someone made him feel bad for chewing on something? (totally not projecting... hahaha), but then fluff after please? thx for all ur content!
Don’t bite, don’t bite, don’t bite.
Eddie nibbles on his bottom lip. The urge to chew on his shirt is strong, but he has to fight it. He can’t bite at school. Everyone will make fun of him again. It’s only third period, and he’s already exhausted.
A little chewing couldn’t hurt.
Quietly, Eddie begins to chew on his shirt collar. His stresses melt away- just a little. His whole body relaxes slightly.
Then, it all tenses up again.
“Looks like the freak couldn’t afford breakfast and needs to eat his shirt,” sneers a jock from the back. The class laughs, causing Eddie to drop his shirt collar from his mouth. He’s bright red now.
“Mr. Munson,” the teacher says, clearly irritated. “Please don’t interrupt my class with this nonsense again.”
“But I didn’t even say any-”
“You best pay attention. It’s obvious you don’t most days.”
Eddie’s eyes fill with tears. He slumps further into his desk. He is paying attention. He is trying. He can’t concentrate if he can’t fidget, and he can’t fidget without getting picked on.
So, he’s back to his lips.
By the time he’s driving to Steve’s house, his lips are bleeding and raw. Still, he doesn’t stop. “Freak,” he whispers to himself. The taste of blood is fresh on his tongue. Has he ever bled this much before?
He parks in Steve’s driveway, then looks at himself in the rearview mirror. “Holy shit,” he whispers. He’d torn his lips so bad that the blood was dripping down his chin, and onto his shirt and jacket. Steve’s going to freak.
He cleans himself up as best as he can before heading inside. Not surprisingly, Steve is lounged out on the couch, watching some shitty comedy he had “borrowed” from work. Eddie laughs softly at the thought. He really had been rubbing off on his boyfriend.
“I’m here,” Eddie says quietly. He almost doesn’t want Steve to turn around and see him. He’s just going to upset him.
“Hey,, how was sch- Eddie!” Steve jumps off the couch and runs over to wipe the blood off of Eddie’s bottom lip. “What happened?”
Eddie tries to tell him that he was overwhelmed- that it had been a terrible day, that he’s been ridiculed and laughed at, but all that comes out is a weak cry.
But, it’s okay.
Steve understands.
“Bad day, huh?” Steve asks softly, wiping Eddie’s tears. “What do you want, Eds? We can go home if you want, or we can stay here.”
Eddie nods tearily. “I want to go home,” he murmurs. His eyes meet Steve’s. “Can I take a bath here first? Please?”
Steve nods, and leads Eddie to the master bathroom. Steve’s parents aren’t poor by any means, and that was a major difference from Eddie’s everyday life. Their master bathroom has a giant bathtub in it, and Eddie loved taking bubblebaths in it. At the trailer, all he had was a little tub with a drain that didn’t work properly.
Eddie strips his clothes- including the bloody shirt, and sinks into the hot water. His lips are still bleeding and cracking, causing him to wince whenever he tries to speak.
Steve kneels next to the bathtub with a damp rag. “Can I clean your lips and chin up?” Eddie gives him the go ahead, and Steve gently begins wiping away the blood. Eddie’s bottom lip was the worst- it’s clear it would need a few days to scab. He looks at Eddie, who almost looks… ashamed? “Eddie?”
“Hm?”
“What’s on your mind?”
Eddie shrugs, halfheartedly popping a few bubbles from his bubblebath. “I’m just exhausted, Stevie,” he whispers. “I’m not on track to graduate, and nobody at that damn school is even attempting to help me.” He pauses and takes a shaky breath. “I was stressed, so I chewed on my shirt. I was okay, I was listening, and I felt like I could maybe understand what the teacher was talking about…” He sighs. “Then some asshole pointed me out to everyone and the teacher got mad at me for causing a distraction.”
Steve pushes down his own negative feelings about the situation, instead choosing to continue wiping Eddie’s chin. “I’m sorry, baby,” he says, “I wish I could help.”
“No,” Eddie shakes his head, “You’re helping. This? This is helping.”
Steve offers a sympathetic smile. “Okay.” He sets the rag down. “It’s stopped bleeding for now, and I got all the blood off.”
“Thank you.”
Steve helps Eddie shampoo his hair. Eddie looks so… different with his hair wet. Eddie’s hair is the majority of his tough guy, oddball persona. With it being wet and less messy? He looked vulnerable. It sparks something in Steve- something maternal- like he wants to hold Eddie and never let go. “Can I get in with you?”
“Please,” Eddie says, smiling.
So, Steve joins Eddie in his bubblebath. He carefully pulls Eddie onto his lap. “Still warm enough for you in here?”
“Mmhm,” Eddie hums. He rests his head on Steve’s chest. He feels his eyes begin to get heavy. Had he slept last night? Come to think of it, he hasn’t really slept well in a few days.
“Somebody sleepy?” Steve teases. “Go to sleep, baby. We’ll go home once you’re done with your bath.”
Eddie tries to nod, tries to hum in agreement, but he’s far too deep in sleep before he manages to do either. The days events forgotten, Eddie sleeps.
He finally sleeps.
#eddie munson#stranger things#autistic eddie munson#steddie#eddie munson autism#angst#steve harrington#fluff#steveandeddie#sensoryissues!eddie#adamwrites
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hi hello I just woke up so I’m sorry if this is not coherent whatsoever!! Anyway, *throws my headcanons at you.*
Coriolanus Snow:
Literal definition of just a little guy. Does he go on to be an awful person? OK YES MAYBE but for now he’s a little guy
Probably like a baby regressor. I cannot be the only person who saw him in the hospital and was like ??? Are those children’s pyjamas ??? (It was a hospital gown and I know that now.)
Has such a strong hate towards regressing like he will actively avoid it,,,he’s probably never would’ve done it willingly if Sejanus didn’t talk him into it like a lot.
Def regresses because of trauma. He’s lived through a war and never really had a childhood!! *shakes your shoulders aggressively* HOW ARE WE SLEEPING ON THIS????
He is such a crybaby…but like in the way where he tries so hard to bottle everything up because he doesn’t want to inconvenience anyone (no I’m not projecting wtf are you talking about?? /sarc) anyway he fails every time
It’s also always a battle to get him to eat, you must act like this is the most yummy thing in the world then maybe just maybe he’ll take a bite.
Personal headcanon that he never actually gave the plinth family that photo, like he had full intentions too but dude kept it for himself and would get a little sad and small when he sees it :((
ANYWAY GOING BACK TO CANON NOT BEING REAL BECAUSE ITS SAD. Definitely like needs baby stuff like pacifiers and fluffy pyjamas and stuffed animals. Because first and foremost he’d look so cute with them and secondly Sejanus would so have the money for it like dude would probably build a nursery
Coryo is so anxious to use said baby stuff because he partially thinks he doesn’t deserve it and partially thinks that he shouldn’t be regressing in the first place which like :((
Final thoughts is that Sejanus is definitely main cg I mean hello?? And Lucy Gray and Tigris babysit him sometimes
Sejanus Plinth:
Caregiver. Fretting overprotective caregiver to an anxious crybaby Coryo.
Definitely leans towards the sappier nicknames, “sweetheart, baby,” occasionally “kiddo.”
Will spoil Coryo to hell and back.
Not strict whatsoever, the biggest punishment this man would be willing to give would be a five minute time out. Realistically. He’s also morally against punishments so Coryo would probably have to do something absolutely awful to deserve that.
Definitely better with younger Littles, which is why him and Coryo fit so well together.
Realistically he won’t leave Coryo alone for even a second in headspace, one he’s just clingy like that, and two, he doesn’t want anything happening to him while he’s gone.
Brings Coryo his Ma’s homemade cookies. He knows this boy doesn’t eat as much as he should be.
:3 just felt a little silly goofy
also love love love LOVE your hc so much thank you for feeding into my new obsession lol
Pretty sure we have opposite time zones then hahaha Thankyou for gracing me with your hcs!! Adding another break because I just kept ranting about them hahaha
obviously, Sejanus would spoil Little Coryo for sure - and I've definitely thought about Coryo being a regressor from trauma and lack of childhood because YES. ALSO THANKYOU!!! THE HOSPITAL SCENE??? So glad we have mutual feelings on that because he was giving some strong kiddo vibes there
I always get scared to hc characters as baby regressors - I personally regress in the baby/young toddler area and idk I just get worried I'm projecting too hard so that was a pleasant surprise to see you hc lol - I feel like Little Coryo would be in more of a toddler bracket most of the time but then slip younger when he's tired or emotional - or god forbid, sick.
also thankyou for totally understanding the crybaby thing - he's just an overwhelmed little kid - literally anything could be the thing to push him into a breakdown - he's trying his best!!
and YES can we PLEASE discuss Little Coryo's relationship with food because herbfi;erbfuibf - I think he's difficult no matter what, and I feel like it'd be one of the ONLY things he'd 'act out' about - I don't think Little Coryo would really understand why he feels weird about food - definitely whines about being hungry but then won't accept anything offered to him - says that he 'doesn't like' something when Sejanus knows for a FACT he does - stuff like that. Also (as someone who, no matter how badly wishes they did like it, I don't like basically any fruit ever 😭) HOWEVER, I just have a feeling based on nothing, that Little Coryo would love most fruit. Like it's one of the only consistent snack options that will work on him
DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT PHOTO 😭😭😭
Sejanus would 100% put together a nursery for Coryo and Coryo would 100% tell him to get rid of it immediately and then secretly adore it - the self hate Coryo would have over anything regression related is real
Coryo definitely plays very intricate imaginative storylines out with his stuffed animals and can never really explain it to Sejanus who would sit and watch and try to figure out what the hell is going on for half an hour
Sejanus my love - so overprotective - so gentle with Little Coryo. He absolutely uses 'sweetheart' and 'baby' all the time. In my opinion, he'd get so proud of anything Little Coryo does and would have such a hard time keeping his regression a secret because he'd just want to brag about his kiddo all the time. Drawings? Reading aloud? Eating? Looking cute? Sejanus is so proud of him! He wants everyone to know that Little Coryo is his! Sejanus would never do/say anything Coryo wouldn't want though - so he just makes sure to praise Little Coryo, all the time.
Completely agree - Sejanus would not be a strict caregiver at all - he does not see the point in punishing Coryo when he could explain why he shouldn't do something - especially when Coryo is going to feel guilty enough already for acting out
Also was thinking earlier about Little Coryo having a NEED to soak up all of Sejanus's attention and was thinking about how through his childhood Tigris had definitely looked out for him, but really they were leaning on each other - and also totally fending for themselves - Tigris was a wonderful cousin but she's barely that much older than Coryo - and then started thinking about how Coryo's mother died in labour, when he was already quite young, which would basically mean that most memories of his mother he has, she'd be pregnant. So pregnant mother and a father who's left to help fight the war when he's VERY young, then two dead parents, a grandmother who's pinning her faith on HIM, and a cousin who's doing her best to look after him, while he grows up scavenging and pretending he's not only fine, but actually living a perfect rich life??? The childhood trauma here is really unmatched - of course he's clingy and a bit of a cry baby when regressed, of COURSE he wants to steal every bit of Sejanus's attention!! When has he ever been the SOLE POINT of someone's attention? ughhh I can't stop thinking about all the fic opportunities.
anyway THANKYOU VERY MUCH for the hcs and I hope to scream about more of them soon with you lol <3
#if tbosas has no more agere content it's because sage and I are dead#cgetbrmj#age regression#agere#fanfiction#fanfic#ao3#ao3 fic#fandom agere#tbosas#more screaming about them
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Gosh I love it here! the conversations are so interesting and levelheaded, everyone is respectful, we’re in our own little corner I’m camping here if you don’t mind!
I also think of a break up potentially in 2022. What I find so hard to understand is what they are now,,I guess only time will tell or at least give us some hints. I just can’t fathom them being exes and being good friends now. I think it’s reasonable to speculate they were each other’s first love and serious relationship and for most people your first break up is brutal. For both parts and even more for the one being dumped (been there, it hurts like a b*tch right?). I would be so impressed if after just one year more or less they’re now able to be this close again. Especially at their age (33 yo gal here), it requires a massive dose of maturity. and Not just being on good terms but flirty, going on vacation (though them in CT could be related to a project for a show released later?), spending a family holiday together (if they were indeed together for Chuseok). Isn’t that a lot? The break up would still be quite fresh, I could never! And with the way Jungkook was chasing after Jimin last spring… it doesn’t look like he had totally moved on? Ha, so intriguing hahaha But once again it’s all speculation!
Gotta say, I love the convos we are having here, as well. I really felt like I wanted to talk to someone about this but people on Twitter are very "if you dont agree , you're canceled" and here everyonen was always "Jikook are married".
I think as previous Anons said, we should assume Jimin and Jungkook's relationship, or any queer one, is as simple, linear and straightforward as a heterosexual one between non-famous people is. As another Anon said, they could have been on and off a couple times throughout the years. This might not be there first rodeo, so they may have some experience with dealing with such complicated feelings.
Also, whatever has been happening between Jk and Jm in those years, they had no choice but to keep working, resolve conflicts and move forward, hence how the forged an iron clad bond. And I really mean their bond is iron strong. Maybe normal people could never behave like Jikook are now after being involved for years but also seeing the other person hook up with someone else, but Jikook are not ordinary people and neither is their bond.
Above or else, they're definitely and absolutely undeniable very precious to each other and I don't think that ever went away.
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back for more keeps making me go back for another listen 🤭 okay the choreo is so on point, and the studio version definitely adds the mj flare with the adlibs being more audible now. the beat is great, and overall it has a sensual vibe that is just so palatable. you mentioned before how they're able to tread the border of being sensual without it being overpowering, and I totally agree! I can't think of any other artist at the moment that has the same ability to deliver something overtly sexy without allowing the sex appeal to overshadow the other creative components of the song or mv. I'm really digging the tasteful way that tnc has delivered this (and will inevitably continue to deliver for this comeback!).
Having said that, I would have loved it if the stylists gave them something besides those suits and white shirts idk when I heard disco latin pop I'm expecting some bling bling. at the very least give these men some shiny earrings or accessories!! Oh and a moment of silence for them not including that epic organ intro from the VMAs.... 🥲 biggest disappointment, do they realize that adding those 20 seconds would only enhance the song and not detract from their goal of charting w a short song??! anywho. it's a bop, and I can't wait to have it on replay when I run some errands after work today. How are you feeling?? 🤭
before anything else i just wanna say i love how each had our own little brain dumps to share with each other hahaha my notifs have been buggy though so i might have been missing some notes! :( my initial thoughts are here !!
omg yesssss the adlibs are so much audible in the studio ver and i am living for it!! Just lovely textures all around and idk, i feel like “back for more” is still playing around with themes of temptation but in a slightly messier, maybe more urgent kind of way? So having the MV the way that it is (lots of lights and shadows going around, the layered vocals, the captivating beat that gets stuck in your head) kinda mirrors that sense of desperation to get the (formerly?) tempted back iykwim ???
like on the surface the tempter seems cool but there is a faint franticness to everything else around them somehow…. 🤔 WHICH REALLY MAKES ME CURIOUS ABOUT WHICH TIMELINE/UNIVERSE WE’RE IN FOR THIS 😩
going back, huge yeses all around for tastefully sexy txt (i have not been the same since the invitation cover stage dropped). it’s never super explicit or in your face and even when they’re taking off their clothes in their choreo (has the sleeveless kai era begun???), it’s in a more teasing, or rather tempting manner than straight up stripping. my brain is telling me this is a queer thing but i’m likely just projecting hahaha something something hidden desires
ok ok i’m weak for txt in a good suit but i get what you mean!! they could have afforded to add a little more playfulness to the styling butttttt i think they’re really just trying to lean in to the darker theme overall ??? which i am also a sucker for lol if txt were the devil fr, i would given my soul to them hakabsjsvsbs
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Is it bad that I really just wanna ask about both wips😭😭😭
Hahaha they’re both really in the beginning stages, I have a few scenes for each about each and that’s it
The water park one is a complete crack fic that @nettedtangible and I have a bunch of ideas for, that are actually really good and entertaining. I’m trying to write it, but I’m just struggling with it. So hopefully I’ll get inspired for it soon. My projection is that it’ll be an 80s, fun, short and ridiculous, character and friendship centered fic
And the ‘something thrilling’ is something I started this week and I keep rewriting the same things over and over again, trying to make it thrilling, but I’m hoping that I’m finally working through my writers block of it now. I don’t want to go into too much detail about it (don’t want to jinx myself, if you get me), but essentially it’s inspired by all the edits I’m seeing of Jenna Ortega, and I’m just thinking, Sirius Black could totally do that
Thank you for asking
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WE ARE BONDED...I THINK YOU'RE A GRYFFINDOR?? RIGHT?? IF IM WRONG ILL BE SO ASHAMED
OH MY GOODNESS YEAH I TOTALLY AGREE. LIKE WHY DO ALL KDRAMAS NEED TO BE KTRAUMAS 😭😭?? COULD WE NOT GET SOME FLUFF FOR ONCE...
HELP THAT ANIME IS SO FUNNY?? he's so relatable for turning into dust btw that's actually mad funny 😂😂😂
HAVE YOU SEEN THE ANIME OF THE GUY WHO'S VA WAS LAUGHING AT THE DUDE'S NICKNAME BEING DICK?? I DON'T REMEMBER THE NAME BUT THE VA WAS ACTUALLY LAUGHING IN THE STUDIO
no because cheol/hao/wonwoo (and- hot take maybe- shua and jeonghan??) totally give off that 'passive dominance' vibe
YEAH I TOTALLY LOST FEELINGS FOR THAT GUY....LIKE I THINK I MESSED UP IN THE BEGINNING BECAUSE I TEXTED HIM TOO MUCH 🙃🙃 it is what it is tho because i think im much better off without him...........
OKAY I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT PULLING DOMINANT MEN....you either have to act SUPER independent/borderline "leader" like OR you have to act like someone that could be a sub little housewife (like its the 1970s oops).... IM TRYING THOSE 2 OUT RN SO LETS SEE HOW IT GOES LOL
so many meds?? that sounds so complicated (and borderline terrifying 🙁) it must be so bad to be given something that's supposed to help but somehow makes things worse
would a sleep study actually help? here's to hoping it will because not being able to sleep must be torture brie im so sorry i hope you get through this in one piece (ONE PIECE MENTIONED!??!?!?)
PRINCESS SWITCH IS SUCH A GUILTY PLEASURE?? IM GLAD SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED IT BECAUSE IM SO EMBARASSED TO SAY ITS...KINDA GOOD......
true. imagine ignoring your child's pleas for mashed potatoes... those creamy garlic mashed potatoes are actually a god given right, you can't convince me otherwise 😒😒
NO BRIE YOU DON'T SUCK! YOU'RE A WONDERFUL BEING THAT DESERVES THEIR PLACE IN THE WORLD.... AND YOU ARE PRETTY?? I THINK YOUR VISUALS ARE REALLY FRESH 😭
i'm doing great (besides finals.)!! YOU GOT THIS BRIE I BELIEVE IN YOU
-finals week or 🫨 anon's final week? stay tuned
Hufflepuff 😨
NO SERIOUSLY they should make a website like does the dog die but for what episode of a drama you should stop watching at if you want to pretend there is a happy ending
NO HAHAHA I DONT THINK IVE SEEN THAT ANIME BEFORE BUT IT SOUNDS SO FUNNY IF YOU REMEMBER THE NAME PLEASE TELL ME???
I actually really heavily agree on that Joshua take that’s crazy but i feel that
NO I THINK I REALLY MESSED UP WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS i’m so stressed about it too she’s taking a break from social media and i’m going crazy like i feel like part of it is just that i’m too much for her now and i’m so stressed, every day i want to spam her and i have literally been crying every single night because i’m so upset cause i think i really fucked up but like is it worse that i think that she would just abandon me? IDK but i’m so upset it’s been a week now. What if she hates me, and also i went literally crazy and i don’t think she knows how crazy but crying every single night cause i think she hates me and left me is CRAZY like every time i calm down i see reason but i was rereading our interactions so much and analyzing all the things i did wrong so much i had to delete the messages
I’m crazy. I’m crazy actually. I want to just forget everything and move on but imagine i put all this effort into forgetting her because i had a maniac anxious breakdown in the middle of a depressive episode and she comes back completely normal expecting me to be completely normal 😭😭 that would be crazy right
I’m crazy right. I’m crazy.
OKAY THATS IMPORTANT RESEARCH RIGHT THERE ACTUALLY CAUSE I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER MET A MAN WHO WANTS TO DOMINATE ME AND HONESTLY?? IM SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT I KEEP PURPOSELY ACTING UP IN FRONT OF GUYS TOO LIKE PURPOSELY I WILL ACT LIKE A BRAT WHO CANNOT BE CONTROLLED AND NOTHING. NOTHING! PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOUR RESEARCH PROJECT GOES TODAY I LITERALLY TOLD SOMEONE THAT A MAN I FRIENDZONED LIKED TO BE DOMINATED AND TOLD WHAT TO DO AND THE GUY I FRIENDZONED HAS LITERALLY SEEN MY FUCKING BDSM TEST RESULTS AND THERE WERE NO REPERCUSSIONS 😭
Meds are meds i guess i’m just really hoping these new ones work. The sleep study SHOULD be helpful like if it’s a serious health problem. And it will help them know if it’s not like sleep apthia? Or something like that
I WAS TRYING TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THE HEIST ONE?? AND THEY WERE LIKE but the first one is so bad and i was like oh my god… they haven’t even met the third twin LIKE ITS GOOD???
I don’t remember why i said i suck but oh god so annoying i give myself the ick. TODAY I WAS LIKE i was like when i serve food out to people sometimes i like can’t explain this well but i smile and pose? Like when i turn around i’ll like IDONTKNOW POSE? ITS LIKE SUBTLE BUT ITS LIKE IM IN A MOVIE AND IM THE MAIN CHARACTER AND ITS REALLY ANNOYING AND SUBCONCIOUS SO IM ONLY AWARE AFTER IVE DONE IT AND ITS SO ANNOYING AND IT GIVES ME THE ICK SO BAD i have A SERIOUS pick me problem that no one will EVER acknowledge even when i say it i’m surrounded by LIARS
HOW HAVE YOUR FINALS BEEN GOING ARE THEY GOING WELL?! YOURE GONNA DO AMAZING YOUVE GOT THIS
#TODAY I WAS MANIC MANIC NOT DEPRESSED MANIC SO ITS GREAT DAY AND TIME TO TALK TO BRIE#I ONLY CRIED RIGHT BEFORE WORK IN MY CAR AND ALMOST ONCE AT WORK BUT NOT AT ALL ANYMORE THATS THE RECORD FOR THE MONTH ACTUALLY#b: 🫨 anon
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I see that you posted the projects that you’re currently working on. It seems like you have a lot of projects in the works and I’ve even see you post about future books that aren’t on that post. Do you have specific publishing order you hope to follow? I think a few of your projects are series, If I’m not mistaken. Will you focus on one series at a time or jump around?
Hahaha — yes, great question! Tentative plan for writing/publishing at the moment:
1. The Restoration Program - Summer/Early July 2023
2. Shot in the Dark (completely revised, possibly renamed) - 2024
3. The Mercy Program - 2024-25
4. Shot in the Dark books 2-5 (total number unclear but likely 5 to six full novels in series) + The Watchdog Program (final book in the Restoration Trilogy) - dates tbd
We’ve got a lot coming and I can’t WAIT to share after all the work! ☺️💓 @kendsleyauthor
#gt#g/t#giant/tiny#shot in the dark#the restoration program#writing#gt writing#giant tiny#giant#fairies
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Chapter 4 - Author’s Notes
Hey! Thank you everyone for your patience. I’ve probably said this, I’m aware my update speed isn’t the fastest and even then each update isn’t that long (writing is hard)...of course this is just a personal project for myself first and foremost, but even I wish I could chip away at it a bit faster lol.
Either way I don’t want to overpromise anything with this dumb little story so just come along for the ride, feel free to drop off and get on wherever 😂 Thank you for checking it out!
This chapter’s notes covers a bit on Akihiro and Zemimon, but also some stuff we saw in the chapter.
▶Go to:
- Continue to Chapter 5
Akihiro
Akihiro’s given name (秋広 Akihiro) literally means autumn ‘秋’ wide/vast ‘広’.
Ok so with the reveal of the gods(?) in this chapter actually their names kinda have some meaning! A bit! I’ll write more about it below.
His family name (小川 Ogawa) literally means small ‘小’ river ‘川’. That completes the family names being based on water 😂 I think they were supposed to be more important in the story, but now it’s just more of a...theme thing?
I remember in one of my old posts someone commented something like he gives off Iori (Digimon 02) vibes...yes!!! I guess I made him kind of the ‘good boy intellectual’ of the group haha, with some traits similar to Koushiro (Digimon Adventure) and Iori.
Zemimon
So, Zemimon’s initial design was actually meant to be like an insect-dino cross:
It’s a pretty cool idea right!? But I couldn’t really get any ideas for his evolutions, and also him being a dino kind of overlaps with Pangorumon’s dino-based evolution line. I do honestly like the idea though and might like to use it for something else in the future...
Zemimon’s next design is more bug-like, but leaning more mechanical? I wouldn’t mind it but I guess it’s hard to make bug designs look balanced as a cyborg (I feel like they can go either organic or mechanical-looking, but I struggle to design something that looks clearly in-between). And since there is that subtle theme of ancient gods(?) in the story, I kinda wanted to go for something more organic-leaning. Which brings us to the current Zemimon design!
Other notes
As mentioned earlier, the kids’ given names have kinda a bit of relation to the gods:
“Haru-no-Kami, the god of spring, he watches the heavens and the stars.”
Haruka’s name (春日) means ‘spring sun’.
“Natsu-no-Kami, the god of summer, she watches the earth and the seas.”
Natsumi’s name (夏海) means ‘summer sea’.
“Aki-no-Kami, the god of autumn, he watches the great expanse and all who exist within.”
Akihiro’s name (秋広) means ‘autumn expanse’.
“Fuyu-no-Kami, the god of winter, she watches the flow of time and every moment in eternity.”
Chifuyu’s name (千冬) means ‘thousand winters’.
Hahaha so the names have (a bit) of meanings...what does it mean?? Let’s hope I manage to survive and continue the story to the point where it’s explained a bit better 🤣
Also we saw Murexmon this chapter! I was already set on her general body shape but so indecisive regarding her helmet lol.
Also yes she can come out of her helmet! She doesn’t usually do it because she’s totally defenseless in this form. Imagine a soft slug, but without the slime...the texture would feel like a plush toy but alive, kind of.
Does she have legs? It’s a mystery O:
Lastly, the enemy Digimon of this chapter is the official Digimon WaruSeadramon! Yes if you’ve watched Digimon Adventure there’s the not-so-subtle parallel of WaruSeadramon triggering Dedemon’s evolution like how MegaSeadramon triggered Ikkakumon’s evolution in Adventure lol 😆
That’s all for now! I start a new job tomorrow so I don’t know what that will mean for my already slow update speed 😵 I hope it goes smoothly so I can continue their story!
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Okokok, first of all
CLASH WAS SOOOO GOOD OMGG
I come bearing a request only if u want to. Teen!spider!reader who is Miguel’s favorite because they don’t cause him trouble. But it’s only because they get severely anxious when they break rules (I’m not projecting, you are). So he assigns them to go on a mission with the problem children hoping they’ll rub off on them, but the problem children just corrupt them.
I just need more spider children being chaotic together and tired spiderdad Miguel
Mwah mwah love ur writing )pls only write this if u feel like it)
AHHHH THANK YOU!! i'm happy you enjoyed
no stop bc same, when i do break the rules i get like a head rush of adrenaline lmao, also i'm totally only calling them the problem children from the perspective of Miguel from now on HAHAHA
thank you for the kind words and the request!
you can read it here, i hope you enjoy!
thank you for requesting🖤
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