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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

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watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!”

this will be a common occurrence

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!”

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

#i didn't mean to recap the entire fucking episode lol #sorry #it's to make up for my lack of content lately #or something #anyway #caryl #twd s11ep1 #twd s11 spoilers #dunlap tp

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

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Opinions on Molly Weasley????

You know, I actually don’t think I’m too far out in left field for her. Well, I might be strange in that we tend to see very polarized opinions on Molly: either she’s the greatest mother who ever mothered and the Weasleys are a perfect family or she’s an overbearing manipulative matriarch who’s secretly poisoning Harry with love potions into marrying her daughter.

Sort of like Ron, I wouldn’t say Molly’s a saint, but she’s also not one of the truly nasty characters (she’s not eating babies or feeding Harry love potions or anything). That said, she is far from the warm, generous, matriarch JKR presented her as.

First, she is overbearing . There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s just how her and Arthur’s dynamic works, but at the same time if Arthur ever did have a spine it’s been completely conditioned out of him. It’s also very telling that Ron marries the overbearing equivalent of his mother in Hermione Granger. I suspect Ron’s spine has also completely disappeared by the time we hit that delightful epilogue from canon.

As for the Weasleys, JKR sets them up to be the perfect family we can possibly (realistically) imagine. It’s huge, they all love each other and are fiercely loyal (except for Percy, the swine, we’ll get into this), they give Harry a sweater, it’s the family he wants so desperately that he marries the only available and socially acceptable option: Ginny (I could go on a rant about this for days, but guys, Harry shows way more interest in men than in women and I think 90% or Ginny’s attraction to him is that she’s a Weasley).

That said the Weasleys, and Molly herself, have major issues.

One, the money. I think JKR makes them poor to give contrast to the Malfoys. The Weasleys are nobly impoverished, they’re a wizarding family but understand more important things than money. The snobby Malfoys on the other hand have peacocks in their yard because rich people are inherently evil.

That said, most of this is because Arthur and Molly completely mismanage finances. There’s nothing wrong with having seven children, but the Weasleys clearly cannot afford to have seven children. More, we see them spend money instantly when they have it. Ron is left without a wand for a year but the second Arthur wins the lottery, rather than save the money, WE’RE GOING TO EGYPT. Even the year before, money that might have gone towards emergency situations such as: my son’s wand broke is used to take Molly, Arthur, and Ginny to Egypt. They buy tickets to the Quidditch World Cup. The Weasleys don’t have that kind of money and then they go and are extremely bitter that Lucius Malfoy does have that kind of money. Yes, I’m sure the Malfoys were always wealthier than the Weasleys, but at the same time the Weasleys are the type to buy iphones for their kids when they’re on food stamps.

I’m getting a little distracted though, back to Molly.

I’d say Molly is far more traditional than JKR ever intended for her to be. She’s progressive enough that she supports muggleborns (they should get to go to Hogwarts and be very appreciative) but she also doesn’t think they should get too far ahead of themselves (we’ll get into this). She’s a raging misogynist (we’ll get into this). She is extremely judgmental and can flip on you at the drop of a hat with the barest of evidence. She never really does anything about Harry’s situation despite having very good evidence of its realities. And despite her family’s extreme poverty, even when all the kids are in boarding school, we don’t see her try to take up a job or even take up some etsy equivalent where she can enchant shit and sell it. There’s nothing wrong with staying home to raise the kids, but at the same time, I think for Molly it’s because “this is what the wife does”.

Right, well, that actually was a lot.

Let’s start with Harry. Molly is witness to seven years of Harry’s childhood abuse and seems to take no action regarding it. Now, Fred and George are dubious sources, so them telling Molly that “hey Harry’s house had bars on his window” might not be taken seriously. Harry also is generally very private and embarrassed about his home life. That said, there are many many signs, and while Hermione practically lives at the Burrow ever since third or fourth year Harry has to spend every single summer with the Dursleys even before Voldemort’s return.

Granted, I have gone over that I don’t think child protection or even a good understanding of abuse exists in the Wizarding World. I think to wizards you’re stuck with the family you’ve got, and if your pureblood grandfather is raping you then it sucks to be you. That said, the Weasleys are such a central part of Harry’s life that I would expected them to do *something*. Instead it’s like Harry’s situation is... vaguely acknowledged but mostly ignored.

Now, the Weasleys don’t have the money for an eighth kid (though Harry’s so absurdly wealthy he could help lighten the load were he to live with them) so I don’t hold this too much against them but... I would hope that a truly good family would have noticed Harry’s situation and tried to do something about it.

Right, the judgement part. The Weasley family’s unofficial disowning of Percy was horrible. This is going to be controversial, but Percy actually made some excellent points. Dumbledore and Harry’s story about Voldemort’s resurrection does sound nuts, the guy’s been dead ten years, he isn’t Jesus. More, it comes from Harry Potter who is young, traumatized, and has generally been erratic throughout the time Percy’s known him. And parts of what he says aren’t wrong. Why do the Weasley’s worship Dumbledore and listen to everything this man says? Dumbledore does do things like recruit child soldiers from the boarding school he runs. Dumbledore’s a shady guy.

Mostly though, while Percy not believing Harry and Dumbledore is bad, I always got the feeling that a lot of the resentment and disowning was that Percy dared to do better than his father. Percy rises through the ranks quickly in the ministry, he’s extremely competent, where his father has been stuck in the same dead end joke of a job for years. Arthur even accuses Percy of having his position because Fudge is spying on Arthur. Which... no, Arthur, no. And the family just loathes him for it. They loathe him and it’s terrible.

And I’m sure Dumbledore meanwhile is just dying that they’ve forced Percy out when Percy was in the perfect position to be a spy in the Ministry. I can just picture him drinking with Snape after Molly’s told him, tears in her eyes, that Percy is cut off because he betrayed the family, wondering what kind of morons are in the Order.

Beyond Percy there’s what Molly does to Hermione in 4th year. And good god, this is also where the misogyny comes in. Rita Skeeter writes that Hermione, a fourteen-year-old girl, is a harlot and Molly not only a) believes it but b) becomes extremely judgmental of Hermione and essentially calls her a jezebel to her face. Molly, what the hell? Hermione’s life has been ruined by the tabloids for something that didn’t happen, and even if it did is nothing she should be slandered for, and Molly’s going “THAT WHORE”.

This is after Skeeter had slandered Arthur just that summer over the Quidditch World Cup incident and Molly hadn’t believed any of it for a second. So, either Hermione’s being a girl or her being an uppity muggleborn or both somehow makes this believable...

Molly’s very similar with Fleur. She doesn’t approve and I always got the feeling it was in part because Fleur is not the traditional sort of woman she’d want Bill to marry (Fleur is a working woman at Gringotts and more is elegant refined beauty rather than a girl next door who’d make a great housewife) but also because Fleur’s foreign. Bill should marry a nice, English, woman and instead he ends up with this French quarter-veela.

Had Harry done anything to offend Molly, or even if Dumbledore had simply gone “You know what, Harry’s awful, we hate him”, then I would expect he too would have been completely cut off and thrown back into the gutter where he belongs.

So, Molly sucks and is not nearly as progressive as JKR intended, but is she feeding Harry love potions to marry Ginny and make the family wealthy? No.

#ask #anon #harry potter #headcanons #molly weasley #molly's progressive up until one of her sons marries a scarlet woman

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caranfindel · 3 years

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Take these broken wings and learn to fly (15.20 coda)

het, but Wincest-compatible | about 2300 words | PG-13 for language | characters: sam winchester, sam’s blurry wife |

Julia has been widowed (God, what an awful word, widowed) for three years when she meets Sam. It’s a work-based friendship at first. She’s kind of lonely and sad, he’s kind of lonely and sad, and they gravitate toward each other. And then one evening they’re at a bar, the last ones left from an after-work happy hour, both of them drinking more than they should, and she thinks he’s kind and thoughtful and smart and he may be 10 years older than me but he’s still hot as hell and I enjoy being with him and I look forward to seeing him and maybe I should just… and she kisses him. He’s shocked; shocked enough to confirm that he wasn’t just hanging around hoping to make it out of the friendzone. And then he’s holding her face in his hands and he’s kissing her too.

It’s good. They’re good together. It’s not the earth-shattering, all-encompassing romance she had with Shaun. Julia knows she’ll never have anything like that again. Most people don’t even get one soulmate in their lives; no one gets two. And she knows Sam doesn’t have that same desperate love that Shaun had for her; she knows she’ll never have his whole heart. (She knows the woman he intended to marry was killed in a fire, she knows another woman he loved went back to her ex. She doesn’t know which of these women still owns that last piece of Sam’s heart.) But she loves Sam, and he loves her, and they get married.

(The sex is amazing. Sometimes he’s gentle, almost reverent, as if he’s afraid he’ll break her, and other times he’s fierce and passionate and almost tries to break her, and she loves both ends of the spectrum.)

She suggests they melt down her old wedding band to make a new one. It was an heirloom from her grandmother, a plain wide band of yellow gold that she loves, that she thought she’d wear for the rest of her life. But Shaun is the one who put it on her finger the first time. It doesn’t seem right to ask Sam to accept it now. A new band from the old gold seems like a good compromise. No, Sam says, I couldn’t ask you to do that. I know a way we can make it ours. He has the inside of the band engraved with the same symbol he wears tattooed over his heart, and makes her promise to never take it off. Bad luck, he says.

He’s such a contradiction. Scary smart, but as superstitious as an Appalachian grandmother. Calm and unflappable, but with a weirdly hyperactive startle reflex. Kind and empathetic, but capable of extreme violence when pushed to his limits (seriously, don’t walk your drunk ass up to Sam Winchester’s wife and lay hands on her, and don’t get mouthy when she tells you to back off) and just really, frighteningly skilled at that violence.

(A little frightening and also very sexy. Julia’s always had a thing for the hero type.)

They both have nightmares. One night Julia watches Shaun’s face melting under his gear and wakes with a cry of horror. Sam holds her as she tearfully describes living on the knife edge of constant fear that comes with loving someone whose job is literally running into burning buildings. I know, he says, over and over, even though he can’t possibly know. The irony of their first loves both dying in flames is not lost on her, but it’s not like his college girlfriend was a firefighter. It’s not like he watched her go to work every day and prayed she’d make it home alive.

Julia’s pregnancy is a wonderful surprise. She and Shaun had tried for over a year before she was widowed, and she just didn’t count on it happening with Sam. They agree not to name the baby after anyone they’ve lost. Let’s not name him after our pain, she says, and Sam is okay with that. (Or he isn’t. But ever since she showed him the positive pregnancy test, she’s known she could ask him for anything. She’s known he would rip out his heart and serve it on a platter if she asked for it.)

But they haven’t decided on a name yet when her water breaks four weeks early. When their perfect baby boy is born at 12:10 a.m., the nurse announces the date and time and Sam looks up at her in shock and blinks away happy tears and says it’s the 24th. It’s my brother’s birthday. Julia is flying high on endorphins; she loves this baby and she loves this man and she even loves his dead brother she never got to meet, and she says it’s got to be a sign; let’s name him Dean.

She takes off her wedding ring, just this once, to have Dean’s birthdate engraved on the inside. Sam does the same with his own ring. He insists they go to a jeweler who will engrave while they wait, rather than leaving the rings there. She waves a hand at her lumpy postpartum body. You afraid someone’s gonna make a move on all this if you don’t keep a ring on it?

He laughs at her and says you’re onto me, even though he’s the one who needs to be locked away, still with that long lean runner’s body and the amazing shoulders and the goddamn dimples. I just don’t like us being without them, he says. He is a sweet, sentimental fool and she adores him. He bends down to kiss her, carefully maneuvering the baby he’s wearing in a sling, and Julia looks at this man and this baby and this life she didn’t think she was get to have and knows she’s happier than she has any right to be. And she’s relieved when Sam slips the ring back onto her finger, this ring imbued with the men she loves, so maybe he’s not the only sentimental fool.

(One thing she loves about Sam is that he understands why she feels guilty that Shaun didn’t get to share this life with her.)

In July they light a little candle for Dean’s six-month birthday. When Julia wakes the next morning, Sam’s side of the bed is empty and cold. She finds him cuddling their sleeping baby in the living room. I got up to give him a bottle, Sam says. I guess I just fell asleep out here. His red-rimmed eyes and empty coffee mug suggest he didn’t actually sleep at all, but, well. They’re both battling their own private demons. If a night cradling the baby gives Sam some peace for whatever reason, she’s glad of it.

Sam’s fierce love for their child takes her by surprise. If Julia has 90% of his heart, his son has 110%. He parents with a vengeance, is the only way she can think of to describe it. Like he’s making up for something. She doesn’t feel slighted, but it’s impossible to ignore that ever since Dean was born, Sam’s prime objective has been to make sure the boy is happy and safe. Everything else comes second.

(When she notices Sam has been carefully marking his tattoo symbol onto Dean’s clothing, hidden near seams and always in a color that almost matches the fabric, she decides not to say anything. He gets a little funny about his superstitions sometimes.)

Sam desperately wants Dean to have a sibling, and they try for another one, but it doesn’t happen. Julia reminds him that they’re lucky to have even one child. That having a sibling is not a lifetime guarantee of companionship and love. She should know, after all, since Stephanie cut her off after she married that asshole Scientologist and decided she couldn’t have a relationship with anyone who wasn’t also in their stupid cult.

Dean has plenty of friends and tons of activities, which Sam encourages with an almost religious fervor, but he never pulls away from his parents. They have so much in common, Sam and his son. Instead of rebelling as a teenager, Dean seems to grow even closer to his father. They spend hours together, paging through the ancient books in Sam’s study (she hates them, they smell musty and make her sneeze) or driving in the old Chevrolet. They even travel together sometimes, visiting those friends of Sam’s that live up north somewhere. Julia met them at the wedding and they were perfectly nice, thrilled to death that she and Sam had found each other. But she always feels like an outsider when they’re around, like they’re part of something she’ll never understand. So much history, with Sam and the brother she never got to meet. They absolutely dote on Dean though, and he seems to love them too, so the boys’ trip to Sioux Falls becomes an annual event.

(Dean is 14 years old when he comes home from one of these trips with his own version of the tattoo.)

When Julia is diagnosed with cancer, Dean is 16 years old. Sam does his best to ensure life goes on as normal for their son but somehow never neglects Julia’s needs. He throws himself into research and is always on top of the latest treatment, always at her elbow with the top internet-recommended remedy for her side effects, making sure both she and Dean have everything they want and need, all the attention and support they can tolerate. She doesn’t know when, or if, Sam actually sleeps. When she feels up for it, he arranges experiences for the three of them. A week lying on the beach, a weekend in New York City, a night in the mountains looking at the stars. When we look back on this time, he says, I don’t want us to only remember how much it sucked. I want us all to have good memories too.

(She doesn’t know why he’s concerned about her memories. There’s a good chance she won’t have much time to enjoy them. But it’s good for Dean. She doesn’t want this to ruin Dean’s childhood.)

Sam insists Dean go away to college as planned. Julia agrees, although she’s kind of surprised he’s willing to let the boy out of his sight. Aren’t you going to miss him? she asks.

So much, he answers. But this isn’t about me, and what I need. It’s about him. They drive Dean to school in the ancient Chevrolet. Supposedly because the trunk has room for all of his stuff, but Julia is pretty sure it’s just one last sentimental road trip in the old thing before Sam retires it. When they pick Dean up at the end of the school year, it’s in her SUV. Dean promises his father, more than once, that he’ll restore the Chevy someday.

Five years after Julia’s diagnosis, she’s sitting in the doctor’s office learning that her last remission was her last remission. There are no more options. She has months, not years. Sam clutches her hand and nods, once, as if to say I should have known this would happen; I should have expected something like this. Then he takes her home.

It’s a blessing in a way, he says late that night, after a little too much to drink. Knowing what’s coming. Having time to say goodbye. You don’t always get that. And yes, she knows this as well as anybody does.

Sam has always been supportive of her choice not to contact Stephanie, but one day he says Jules, I promise I’ll never bring it up again. It’s just that I don’t want you to have any regrets. I don’t want you miss the opportunity to say things that you’ll wish you’d said. Julia isn’t sure Steph will speak to her. She’s not even sure she’ll have the same phone number — they haven’t spoken since Dad’s funeral, a year after she was widowed — but she makes the call. And Steph answers. And cries. And comes to visit, where she hugs and cries some more. Sam watches it all with a sad smile for a while, then disappears into the garage to sit in the old Chevy.

When Julia takes her last conscious breaths, Dean is holding one hand and Sam is holding the other. She squeezes her son’s hand and thinks I love you, dear boy, and I’m sorry I have to leave you. She squeezes her husband’s hand and thinks thank you for giving me this, thank you for taking care of me, thank you for loving me and letting me love you. Then she closes her eyes and lets the soft, warm darkness take over.

And then. Then she wakes to a cool breeze and the sound of chirping birds. She’s standing at a lake she recognizes. It’s Shaun’s favorite fishing spot. And Shaun is there, waiting for her. And everything is okay.

Sam does show up eventually. Julia’s sitting on the porch of the cabin with Shaun, enjoying the perpetual nice day (sometimes a spring morning, sometimes a fall afternoon, but always nice) when she hears the familiar rumble. It cant be, she thinks. It can’t be that old car. But it is.

I’m glad you found someone with good taste in cars, Shaun says, as Sam unfolds himself from the driver’s seat. He looks exactly as he did the day she met him; no glasses, only a little grey at his temples. Still tall and strong and beautiful. She runs to meet him and embraces him as Shaun watches from the porch.

You found Shaun, Sam says. I’m so happy for you, Jules. I really am. He doesn’t seem to have any intention of joining her (their) Heaven permanently, but he doesn’t seem to have anyone else with him either. Where is the dead girlfriend? How is this fair?

They talk about Dean, and Julia’s heart swells with pride over her strong, smart, kind, brave son. He’s like you, she says. He’s just like you.

Sam shrugs. He’s a Winchester.

But what about you? she says. You’re not — you’re not alone here, are you?

Nah, he says. I’m good. I promise.

(Eventually Julia meets the first Dean, and she understands.)

===

I know a lot of people have mocked Sam's blurry wife, but I actually have grown to love the concept. Because it means she can be anything we want her to be. And yeah, initially I liked the idea of her being Dr. Cara, or Eileen. But now I don't think that would happen. I think Sam would have to start fresh to have that kind of relationship. And I also like the idea of Sam's wife having her own soulmate somewhere, waiting for her, so she's not a huge part of Sam and Dean's shared Heaven. I mean, they're gonna visit, obviously. And then they'll go home to their soulmates.

The title is from "Blackbird" by the Beatles.

#spn #15.20 #my fic #episode coda #sam winchester

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jostepherjoestar · 4 years

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Imagine if over time everyone notices Trisha’s twin seems to getting more distant and focused on the goal. When they ask her what’s wrong she avoids the question but what everyone doesn’t know is that for everyone to get out alive either her or her sister has to die and she decided that she would protect trish like her sister has down for her over the years

Una Gemella (fic 1,5k)

Decided to name Trish’s twin Claudia after Claudia Schiffer, the famous 90′s model since Trish is also named after one. I hope you can enjoy this, it’s pretty sad and basically a totally different ending to part 5. Whoo boy.

part 1 and part 2 of the ask

Content warning: wounds, death

Under their capo’s watchful gazes, the merry band of gangsters actually worked together for their common goal: to take down Diavolo. With their combined strengths they’d figured out much more information, a lot faster. But with their collaboration also came the discovery that two of his own divisions were working against him, Diavolo went into quite a fit of rage, especially knowing that his two daughters had developed stands. His hatred only grew stronger and his lust to rid the planet of anyone who knew his history only further developed.

In some miraculous way no-one had lost their lives, of course there were less battles to be fought, having to no longer see the assassins as their enemies and vice versa. Diavolo had sent his Unità Speciale onto the large team with a few extra recently added members so he’d be sure of the traitor’s demises. Of course they all knew that Doppio was in fact protecting and housing part of their enemy, thanks to Claudia’s recently acquired stand.

Knowing how large the threat was, Diavolo decided to unleash all hell in Rome on the combined teams arrival. Night had fallen and all seemed normal, tourists were loudly enjoying their dinners, lovers enjoyed their romantic walks past the centuries old monuments, families put their children to bed. That calm was disrupted by the many stand attacks that would mark the city for years to come. The teams had decided to split up so they’d all have enemies to fight at the same time, urging for the safest way to ensure a quick end to the chaos.

On their way to the Colosseum to meet Polnareff about the arrow, Claudia seemed even more focused, there was barely any trace left of the shivering, crying girl from a few days ago. She’d hardened quickly, perhaps too quickly. Her more stern sister even being surprised to see her twin this way. Risotto, Giorno, Bruno, Trish and Claudia had formed their team and quickly met with the Frenchmen. Claudia offering short and stern answers, she’d already seen what would happen and there was no time to waste. Her father was lurking in this very spot. She knew she had no choice, there was no future in which they all could survive if she and Trish both lived. One of them had to go, she was sure of her resolve, Claudia was dying tonight.

Claudia had ignored or brushed off her companions concerns until Risotto cornered her. He knew there was something going on and he was sure to find out. “Tell me what’s going on. We are a team, you need to talk to us.” he said in a stern but concern filled voice. Before she would have been afraid to look the capo right into his crimson eyes but now she took it head on. “I have to die. There is no other way. Your men will suffer, Bucciarati’s will too if nothing is done.” the strength in her voice trembling as she felt tears pushing to release. She held them back with all her might but her trembling hand betrayed her true feelings. Risotto understood. He had put his trust in her since she first called the meeting, admiring her bravery for such a youngster.

The tall silver haired man sighed deeply, he didn’t even hide the pain behind his eyes. He was going to miss this one. He knew she wouldn’t change her mind, she was going to make the ultimate sacrifice. He didn’t ask how or when, he knew enough to deduct that it was soon. He didn’t want to make peace with her decision but he knew he had too. She could feel Diavolo getting closer, Trish could too. The two capo’s strategising inside the old rings of the crumbling monument but it was too late for that, the pink haired villain had already made his entrance, no longer using Doppio to protect himself.

It was time. The attacks were brutal but their team had the advantage of knowing his powers, even though it didn’t help much. The rage behind his hits were felt, Bruno and Giorno had taken quite the beating already. Diavolo’s plan was to work his way down to his “beautiful daughters” as he so lovingly said. Risotto stayed close to Claudia, somewhere hoping that it didn’t need to end the way it was going to. The solemn nod the youth gave to him made him aware the moment was nearing. Bruno had been incapacitated, Giorno by his side to protect him from any more harm for the moment. The blond looked not that much better off than his capo, his stand could only do so much.

Claudia was alert, knowing the direction her father would strike from, sure to protect her sister who’d taken place beside her. “I want you to finish him Trish, no mercy. I know you can. Do it for us, Risotto will help.” she told her sister, voice beginning to shake, avoiding her sisters confused gaze. She would only tear up at the sight of her. “Claudia what are you talking about? We’ll do it together. Ok?” Trish’s confusion distracting her from the incoming attack. It nearly hit her but not before her sister pushed her aside to accept the blow. Giant pieces of stone rubble had been hurled at them, smaller rocks hitting Trish and Risotto, a plume of dust camouflaging Claudia’s body from view. A pang of fear struck them as they saw her crushed beneath the large stone, barely breathing. Diavolo was still hiding behind pillars to avoid counter attacks, awaiting to see the result of his.

“Claudia! No!” Trish couldn’t hold herself back and rushed to her sister, tears already falling down her flushed cheeks, Risotto following suit. The pink haired sisters holding onto each others hands, Trish pleading for her to stay awake. “Giorno please help her! You have to, please!” she begged her teammate who’d gotten up to fight again. Risotto placed his hand on her shoulder. “It’s no use. It had to be this way. I’m... sorry.” he sternly said. But the sight before him tore at his heart, it shouldn’t have to end this way. “She’s not dead yet you fucking idiot. Giorno get over here!” Trish spitting her orders as her tears wet the ground beneath her. Claudia still faintly breathing, eyes fluttering. “You have to do it Trish... Do it for us. Kill that bastard... It had to be.” she could barely talk, shallow breaths sputtering her through her sentence. Her hand feeling numb from her sisters squeeze, like the pressure would somehow save her from her fate. “We have to keep fighting Trish, I’m sorry.” Giorno said with a solemn tone, knowing not even his healing powers could save her.

Risotto stayed by Claudia’s side, the tear stained sister focusing her anger on her father, not ready to say goodbye to her twin just yet. While Giorno and Trish continued, the capo’s large hand had taken the frail one in his. “You did really good out there kid. It takes balls to be a gangster but what you did? I don’t know what to say...” he could feel his heart swell with sadness for the coming loss. She was slipping fast. “Maybe in another life we’ll do it right.” a sad smile the last thing that would grace her beautiful face as she whispered her last words. Risotto knew it was time to help the remaining team finish off the cruel man. His sadness fuelling his resolve to fight on, holding on to her last words. Maybe in another life.

The end was in sight. Giorno had evolved his powers and was able to bring the devil himself to his knees before him. He looked pathetic, his eyes filled with fear he wasn’t going to admit to. Trish walked over, the tears having dried, remnants of dust making the watery paths visible on her cheeks. She bore her heel into the ribs of her father making him hiss and cough in response. “This is for Claudia you filthy bastard! Enjoy this pain now, you’ll be wishing you felt it again because wherever you’re going is a million times worse. You’re the most disgusting being I’ve ever laid my eyes on!” she spit on his face, she would have never done this in any other situation, thinking it a disgusting act, but now her rage was acting for her. Trish let Giorno finish him off, sending Diavolo into his own personal hell.

When he was finally gone Trish fell to her knees, not even caring about scuffing her skin. There was a faint relief, knowing there would be no more fighting, no more worrying. But it hurt, god it hurt so bad. She knew sacrifices had to be made to complete the mission but this... It wasn’t what she imagined. Her sobs returning, it felt like the tears would never stop. Bruno and Giorno placing themselves by her side to console her as best as they could. They sat by her until the sun had starting rising again, lighting the way for the dawn.

Like Claudia had predicted, all men were safe. Some worse off than others but they were all still breathing. Risotto felt a gaping emptiness in his soul, the little one had left quite the mark on him. Maybe next time, in another life, they’ll be luckier.

#cozy ask #la squadra x reader #jjba x reader #ngl i sobbed while writing this #am sensitive baby ok #la squadra #la squadra fic #risotto x reader #bruno x reader #giorno x reader #trish x reader #diavolo x reader #jjba fic #jjba part 5 #team bucciarati

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

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Weird q..but i really dont understand why most fans hate season 4, especially the last episode. Why? I think it gave us a deeper look on both sherlock and mycroft! I felt it tells a lot about mycroft how he had to step in and take control of things ever since he was a kid himself. Also he is not a robot or a killer. Also redbeard thing. It was an appropriate deep psychological trauma (cause most shows usually disappoint in that area). I am not trying to impose my opinion. Just want to understand

Hey Nonny!

It’s all good, and I totally respect your opinion and how you enjoyed S4! It’s totally okay! I know that there are quite a few who got a lot of of S4, and who genuinely enjoyed it.

Sadly, I am not one of those people, and I’ll try to be as diplomatic a possible in my response, but PLEASE know that I don’t think you’re “terrible” or “stupid” for liking S4 because I DO get passionate sometimes in my responses, and I’m just merely speaking as someone who studied the series very closely for quite a long time before S4 aired, and as someone who knows Day-One-ers (ie., people who watched Sherlock on its day one airdate) who also are a large majority of the people who did not like S4. This is just me simply stating why I didn’t like it, but it’s different for everyone.

Stating what I DO like: The acting and cinematography of the first two episodes were brilliant for what they had to work with, and I’ve never faulted any of the actors for the flaws of S4. And for TFP, they did the best with what they had to work with.

That’s… pretty much all I really liked about S4.

Now, here’s my problems with S4:

Nothing made a LICK of sense to the narrative that they were telling in Seasons prior.

This series was always based a bit in reality, and suddenly everything became comic-book rules: X-Men villains, shitty “redemption” arc, destroying favourite characters just for drama, ludicrous physics, explosions that only destroyed one small room in an apt where in previous episodes one explosion destroyed an entire block, etc.

Sherlock was OOC.

Mary was being built up to be a fantastic villain? Ah, nope, here’s the lacklustre twist where tee hee Mary’s just an assassin with a heart of gold that still emotionally abuses Sherlock and John and just won’t fucking stay dead.

And speaking of this, the DVD’s make NO LOGICAL SENSE unless she was planning to kill herself

AND she tries to make her death equatable to Sherlock’s??

Everyone was RIDICULOUSLY out of character in TFP, I’m so sorry: Mycroft is a bumbling coward for the most part, Sherlock disregards John when he gives the Vatican Cameos warning, the Holmes Parents are assholes because Mycroft COULDN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM WHEN HE WAS 12?? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? And that creepy Moriarty / Eurus thing, and LITERALLY they’re implying that EVERYTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE EURUS DIDN’T GET A HUG. Like, I’m so sorry, but that’s lazy writing.

And don’t even get me started on the ridiculousness of the entire character of Eurus. She LITERALLY had X-Men powers, and like… just nothing made sense. Her involvement in the entirety of S4 MADE NO SENSE. Why go back to prison if you can get out?? WHAT IS THE POINT?? AND I repeat: She did all this because she didn’t get a hug. Yes. I’m oversimplifying, but at the base level, that’s what it was, because she wanted Sherlock’s attention. Welcome to the club, kid, stand in line, everyone on the SHOW wants his attention.

The ENTIRE plot of the first 2 seasons got wiped out all because it wasn’t Moriarty who was interested in Sherlock, but Eurus?? What… What about Carl Powers?? Like…. the ENTIRETY of season one and TGG makes no sense now, because of that one 5 minute scene where Eurus “enlists” Moriarty. I… ugh.

The SUDDEN tonal switch from kind-of Sherlock to James Bond, for some fucking reason.

And on that note, how terribly lazy and cheap TFP looks in comparison to the other two episodes. The whole episode looks like it was filmed in a small house with 4 identical rooms.

EVERYTHING that was etablished in 2 episodes prior were COMPLETELY forgotten when Mary was “shot”.

The complete character assassination of one loyal blogger John H Watson in favour of Mary for some fucked up reason, even though AT HIS OWN WEDDING HE COULDN’T STAND BEING AROUND MARY. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe for one damned second that John would EVER forgive Mary for murdering his best friend after seeing what it did to him. That’s not love from her, and that’s NOT John’s character EVER in the ENTIRETY of the series.

And speaking of character assassinations, Molly’s character being devolved to S1E1 Molly, where instead of giving her agency like they were doing with her the ENTIRE series, so much so that Sherlock picked up on her dominance enough to give her a big role in his mind palace in HLV and TAB, only to make her a sad little self-insert Mary Sue pining for the main character, and in turn made Sherlock a TERRIBLE human being for MAKING HER say what she did. It’s gross.

AND speaking of Molly’s character, they’ve been setting up Mollstrade since as early as ASiB, but I guess that plot line got shafted. Look I LOVE Hopkins, and I am ANGRY they didn’t give her more than 3 fucking lines in the entirety of ONE episode after HEAVILY promoting her actress and character, but they essentially reduced her to a piece of ass for Lestrade to chase. AND THAT’S NOT HIS CHARACTER EITHER. EW GROSS.

The constant plot holes being gaped wide open, and the Chekov’s gun moments where they bring up shit but do nothing with it!!

TD-12? Nope, just a lame reference to a story we like.

John got shot at the end of TLD with a VERY REAL FUCKING GUN? Nope, it was a dart gun.

John not suddenly knowing how to be a doctor.

The TGG one I mentioned up above.

What was in the letter? And who was Anyone??

Moriarty essentially being erased as anything other than a hired thug and had no part whatsoever in Sherlock’s history.

Eurus… Just all of her character is asinine.

Everyone in T6T suddenly not knowing John’s the blogger, which is in direct contradiction to literally the entire series.

The AGRA plotline was ridiculous, in the end.

Baby? What baby? It was only there when convenient.

They dropped whatever plotline they were going to do for Mycroft: He was being set up as either dying, or the villain.

Redbeard. I’m sorry, I disagree with you on that. Mofftiss is trying to tell me that a little boy fell down a well and went missing, and that WASN’T the first place searchers / the police wouldn’t have looked? Sorry, no. And then. AND THEN his parents just… go along with this thing where Sherlock shuts down and they DON’T get him therapy? Yes, I agree the mind is a funny thing, and we can be traumatised into forgetting or dissociating from traumatic events. I GET IT. But… like I don’t believe the Holmes are so heartless as to just never grieve or have memories around about their supposedly dead daughter. It’s another OCC thing for me.

John’s cheating.

Disappearing and reappearing characters, like this scene, and the entirety of the aquarium scene.

Mary and John being terrible parents

OH GOD THIS FUCKING SCENE. That bomb SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE BUILDING.

What… who was this girl on the plane? What? Like I know WHO, but if she’s supposed to be Eurus talking to Sherlock, why don’t we see Eurus… talking to Sherlock? I … Ugh.

NORBURY.

The glass SUPER SECRET GOVERNMENT ROOM THAT NO ONE SHOULD SEE INTO in T6T.

Sloppy camera work that some believe was intentional, but if it wasn’t, jesus c’mon.

The RIDICULOUS amount of 4th Wall Breaking. Like… even the actors didn’t give a shit.

Essentially, everything on this list here and in this blog tag here.

And everything mentioned on these three posts:

T6T: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TLD: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TFP: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

There’s SO much more I can go into, but please go through my “something’s fucky” tag in that last link.

Notice how probably 90% of that has NOTHING to do with “johnlock not becoming canon” because the Johnlockers get MONSTROUS accusations as to THAT being why we didn’t like S4, even though it was, like critically panned by the GENERAL AUDIENCE who have NO investment in the series other than “I liked it in the past”.

Two of my fave YouTubers have interesting (not perfect, but still good) takes coming at the series as casual viewers:

‘The Day Sherlock Died’ by The Closer Look

‘Sherlock is Garbage, and Here’s Why’ by hbomberguy

So it’s NOT just Johnlockers. I’ve talked to Sher1011ies at 221B con who didn’t like S4 either, because most of them realized how shitty Molly was treated in the last episode. So yeah, a big middle finger to those who think I dislike S4 because of “no Johnlock”. No, I disliked it because I need my stories to make logical narrative sense. I disliked it because I love John and they ruined his character all for the sake of drama and because Moffat has a “hurting Ben” kink. I disliked it because Mary should NOT have been “redeemed” because she was an abuser. I disliked it because Moriarty was turned into a cartoon villain, even though he was already overused in the series. I disliked it because the core of the show – the FRIENDSHIP of Sherlock and John, and their solving mysteries together – did not exist at all. I disliked it because John got sidelined. I disliked it because TFP was a ridiculous episode that, if you replace ANY of the characters, it wouldn’t make a difference, because it didn’t feel like an episode of Sherlock. I disliked it because everyone was OOC.

Anyway. Sorry. One too many accusations my way over the past 1100+ days LOL.

As for your assessment of TFP, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you. There was no growth and actually it implies something far more sinister: That the Holmes are and were terrible parents that gave no shits about their daughter, their traumatized son, and expected their eldest to essentially be a parent. It implies that Mycroft, at 12 years old, orchestrated the ENTIRE Sherrinford thing… Look I can suspend my disbelief, but there’s limits, and this is one of them. A LITERAL CHILD. Perhaps Uncle Rudy had a hand in it somehow, but then why not shit on Uncle Rudy? Why is Mycroft blamed for it all?

Look, I don’t doubt Sherlock had a traumatic experience regarding “Redbeard”. But then why play into the fact that he was a dog? Why bring another character into the series just to have a gotcha moment? Because Mofftiss wanted a “Shyamalan twist”, that’s why. They threw EVERYTHING away for a twist ending either because they GENUINELY thought it was good, or they got tired of doing Sherlock. ALL of TFP is LITERALLY a really bad plot twist because reasons. TFP makes no sense to the ENTIRE narrative structure of the previous 12 episodes. It erased EVERYTHING from the previous episodes, and coated it with a gross closing by a character no one wanted in the series, and then tried to convince us that it’s a new beginning – “a journey they had to go through” – but it SOLVED NOTHING.

Anyway. I have big feels about S4, and the only way I can enjoy it is to watch it subtextually, but even then, I cannot sit through TFP without cringing.

That said, Lovelies, please do not attack Nonny for enjoying S4! I know you guys won’t, but Nonny came out with an olive branch and they just want to understand why the fandom is passionate about S4′s… whatever it was. We can have a civil discussion about it, and point out – without attacking – why S4 is universally panned. It’s okay to like things no one else does, and Nonny was respectful to me in this ask!

So with that, feel free, lovelies, to express why YOU didn’t enjoy the series, or why you did! I’m interested in both “sides” / pov’s whatever :)

#steph replies #long post #sherlock s4 #s4 shitposting #mofftiss #something's fucky #the mary problem #my thoughts #my meta #shitposting steph #sorry gang if you like the season #it's easier for me to enjoy it if i tinhat

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canyouhearthelight · 4 years

Text

The Miys, Ch. 90

The more chapters I post, the weirder that number feels. I swear.

“Have a good night, Grandma Kim,” I smiled from the door and waved as she and Lyric made their way into the stream of foot traffic in the corridor. Conor had just come home from work, so I had the obligatory two people to keep any eye on me for the night. Turned out that my mandatory escorts were not only for travelling to and from anywhere - and locking the door to my quarters wasn’t considered enough, either, since “Too many people have permission to just walk in,” as Xiomara pointed out.

When I turned around, both men were already seated at the table, a small and tidy dinner of roast, boiled potatoes, and salad waiting. “No GK?” Conor frowned, pointing at a fourth place setting.

“She said she had to get to another appointment,” I explained. With a groan, he reached down. To my surprise, he picked a fifth place setting off the floor. “Wait, you set a plate for Lyric? You don’t even do that for Mac!”

Jokingly, he shook a finger at me. “That cat’s a damned menace,” he grumbled. “Besides, we all know Mac eats from whatever and whoever’s plate he wants. He doesn’t need his own.”

Maverick just smiled at his back as the taller man put the plates and silverware away. “Says the person who always saves an entire serving of everything for the ‘damned menace,’ as you put it.”

“He likes my plate better.” With a wink and playful grin, he sat down and started slicing the roast.

Smiling lightly, Maverick brushed his hair out of his face and turned to me. “Stuff better between you and Tyche?”

Stabbing a potato, I shrugged before wobbling my hand a bit. “Kind of? We’re still working through a game of Twenty Thousand Questions, but we aren’t mad at each other anymore. So there’s that.”

“You’ve been in a noticeably better mood, at least.”

I scowled as he set some salad on my plate. “I haven’t had five minutes to myself since the incident with Charly. That’s going to make anyone cranky.”

“You didn’t help when you put that bloke flat on his back, love,” Conor chided gently. “One slice or two?”

Eyeballing how thick he cut them, I thought for a second. “One, for right now? With gravy?”

“What heathen doesn’t put gravy on roast?” was the scoffed answer.

Maverick’s head snapped up, half a slice of meat hanging out of his mouth. “Ee guy ah even eh own eye ussoom gayey.”

“Babe, please cut the rest of that up before you choke…” I begged, looking away. The military had done horrible things to his table manners, but at least he kept them isolated to ‘private’ meals. “On the topic of Tyche, we fence twice a week while Arthur scowls at us or Coffee pretends to ignore us and read a book. I ask her questions, and she whallops me when I guess wrong.”

“And why is your sainted best friend scowling at you?” Conor stabbed half a potato and shoved it in his mouth, staring at my skeptically.

I stabbed my own potato before cutting it carefully in half. “He may prefer saber.”

“Ehrr oaf.”

“Maverick,” I sighed without looking over. “I am begging you…” A snort of laughter forced me to surrender and turn towards him. “You shit.”

He was sticking his tongue out at me, mouth clearly empty. After I stared long enough, he lost his composure and started laughing, squeezing my upper arm with one hand. “I’m sorry, Sophia. I’ll stop, I swear.” Briefly managing a serious face, he ran a hand down and then across his chest. “Cross my heart.”

“King’s X,” Conor corrected.

All I could do is roll my eyes. “It’s the same thing…”

“Still tense, huh?”

“A little,” I admitted softly. I usually would be laughing and joking with them - who could you be gross and ridiculous around, if not your loved ones? - but I just couldn’t right then. “I think being watched all the time is making me feel watched all the time. Like I always have to have my public face on.”

Conor hummed, rubbing the arm facing him. “Maybe we can think of something to let you have a bit of time to yourself.”

“We could have the sensors monitor you, have one of Miys specifically keeping a watch on that?”

I shook my head. “That’s literally how I met you, remember? Someone destroyed the navigation sensors, and hacked the monitoring ones in order to destroy the replacement parts. Xiomara will never agree.”

“Damn it,” Maverick swore softly. “We can at least leave the room?”

Dropping my fork, I threw my hands in the air. “And go where? It’s not like you can leave our quarters.”

“She’s right. And we can’t even go in the bedroom and leave her out here… If we aren’t in the same room with her, we have to be in one closer to the exit.” Conor pointed over his shoulder with a fork before using it to dig into his salad. “Meaning she can be in the bathroom or bedroom alone.”

“At which point I may as well be a prisoner.” My frustration was vented against my slice of roast, and I absolutely did not cut it more aggressively than strictly necessary.

With a wince, Maverick slowly lowered his hands from where they had been covering his ears. His eyes darted to the knife that was now laying beside my plate, clearly trying to figure out how to take it away from me. “More potatoes?”

Clearly discretion was the better part of valor in his case.

“I’m fine,” I mumbled, prodding the lumps of formerly-roast on my plate.

“We’re going to get through this, Sophie, I promise.” Conor stood, but rather than trying to approach me, he stepped into the kitchen. When he returned, he had a plate of soft rolls. Tearing one in half, he started scooping the massacred remains of my dinner onto it before handing it to me. “There. All better.”

I gave him a watery smile as he set it on my plate. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a grumpy bitch lately,” I whispered. Glancing up, I could see them exchanging puzzled looks. “Oh come on, don’t pretend I’ve been an angel. Just last week, you two left me and Tyche here, with strict orders to sort our shit out.”

“If you didn’t get grouchy when things are out of your control, you wouldn’t be Sophia,” Maverick pointed out generously. “Besides, it’s not like you threw anything.”

“Or broke shit.”

“I still owe you both an apology,” I argued. “Just because I’m out of my comfort zone, that doesn’t mean it’s okay for me to snap and snarl at you two.”

Conor snapped his fingers several times. “Dinner. At the Undine. You, your sister, Charly… Maybe don’t get drunk this time, but a night out, yeah? People who would be there anyway, just like we’re usually the ones with you at night. Whatcha say?”

I shook my head slowly. “I don’t think Xio is going to approve that. Both of us in one place, for starters. Plus somewhere that crowded? Security would be a nightmare.”

“What about camping? Charly keeps mentioning at work that she’s dying to go camping.”

This time, it was Maverick’s turn to be confused. “Where?” he gestured around us. “We’re on a space ship. Where can we go camping?”

“BioLab2,” came the answer. “It goes into night mode from mid Beta-shift to the start of Alpha. That’s fifteen hours of night time. We’d have to get special permission, since folks aren’t usually allowed in there at ‘night’, but given the circumstances, I think Grey could be convinced to try it out. See how the nocturnal species in the lab react to their schedule being interrupted.”

“You seriously want me to go camping?” I asked skeptically.

“Hey, I love to go camping!” He looked comically offended. Glancing at Maverick, he raised an eyebrow in challenge.

“Never been, but I can give it a shot,” was the mild reply. In the bottom of my field of vision, a hand snaked over and snagged the sort-of stuffed bun from my plate. I didn’t even stop him, just waited for the inevitable. Sure enough, less than a minute later, he started sputtering. “Oh, that is disgusting!”

Conor tsked at him, shaking his head. “Love, you saw me put her poor roast on the bap. You knew it had gravy on it.”

“But you put the mushrooms on the bread, too!?”

“I did it for the lady, who likes mushroom gravy.” Heaving a sigh, he stood up, went back into the kitchen, and returned with a small carafe of something. Prying apart another roll, he gently tucked a slice of roast inside, before pouring the contents of the carafe - plain, brown gravy, as it turned out - both beneath and on top of the meat. “You have to have something or it’s too dry,” he explained, handing it to Maverick, who surrendered mine back into my own custody.

I took a bite of mine, and gave a little hum of delight. It reminded me of being in school and stuffing mashed potatoes with gravy and thin sliced mystery meat into a yeast roll to make the meat edible, only much better. Gesturing to Maverick’s own sandwich emphatically, I waited.

Unlike his enthusiasm for stolen food, he stared his own bun down suspiciously before taking a very ginger bite. Chewing carefully for a moment, he furrowed his face in thought before finally making a similarly happy noise and taking a larger bite. Covering his mouth with one hand, he gave his verdict. “Dis iss guh!”

Conor and I both rolled our eyes, landing on each other’s face. “You’d think the boy never had chipped beef on toast. Or a French dip sammy,” Conor scoffed as he made his own.

It took everything I had not to dissolve into laughter as I watched my beautiful roast dinner be turned into schoolyard sandwiches. But sometimes, that’s what you need, I reminded myself as I took another bite. Kids have the right idea.

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#the miys #humans are weird #found family #original fiction #humans are space orcs #earth is space australia #humans are cool #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #second chance

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letterboxd · 3 years

Photo

Found Family.

Riders of Justice writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen opens up to Aaron Yap about grimly funny fairy-tales, woke teenagers and creating an accidental Christmas movie with hunky muse, Mads Mikkelsen.

“Genres, that’s just a sales tool really. That’s to give people, show people, ‘are we having sushi or are we having Italian?’ Sometimes I like it when you don’t know what you’re getting.” —Anders Thomas Jensen

It’s stupidly easy to sell writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen’s new film Riders of Justice on its thirsty pulp appeal alone. Who can resist the promise of Danish acting force Mads Mikkelsen finally getting a decent John Wick-ish vehicle of his own, stoically meting out anguished, bloody vengeance to a cadre of underworld thugs? Certainly not, among many Letterboxd members, Harlequinade, who was moved to write this ode:

“MikkelGod sporting a bushy beard MikkelGod wearing a military uniform MikkelGod wearing a suit MikkelGod having this whole silverfox daddy thing going on MikkelGod killing a man with his big beautiful bare hands MIKKELGOD 🤗🙏🏻😍”

But to dismiss Riders of Justice as another entry in the seemingly endless slew of action-revenge pics would also be to undersell its other layers. Much more than Wick, your average Liam Neeson thriller-of-the-month, or even the recent avenging-dad flick, Nobody, Riders positions itself in a more emotionally and psychologically rewarding space, one perhaps closer to its tonally fluid South Korean counterparts. “What lingers,” Douglas Davidson writes, “are the questions Anders presents and the strange hopefulness that flickers upon the credits roll, burning like the embers of a dying fire in the darkness of night.”

It’s of a piece with all of Jensen’s directorial work thus far. A prolific screenwriter who’s penned everything from soulful early Susanne Bier heartbreakers to the recently misfiring The Dark Tower adaptation, Jensen, as a director, has found a sharply honed groove in the form of grimly funny, genre-defying modern fairy-tales populated by oddball characters forced to contend with the chaos of the inscrutable cosmos around them.

Causality plays an even more pronounced role in Riders. The film’s unlikely heroes—hard-bitten special forces soldier Markus Hensen (Mikkelsen) and a trio of bumbling data wizards (Lars Brygmann and Jensen regulars Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Nicolas Bro)—are drawn together to take down a vicious biker gang, but also preoccupied with processing the hows and whys of grief and trauma, and of course, the value of revenge.

Amid the terse blasts of gunfire, the film foregrounds scenes of connection and healing between its characters, an assortment of progressive teens and bumbling middle-aged men whose unusual found-family dynamic recalls Jensen’s previous dark, offbeat comedies like Adam’s Apples and Men and Chicken. As More_Baddass writes, the film gifts us some “Christmastime therapy of an unorthodox family”.

Over Zoom, we spoke about whether it’s possible to make Mikkelsen less handsome, why Denmark won’t be getting a sci-fi blockbuster anytime soon, and the time that Jensen and a friend tried to break the Guinness World Record for movie-watching.

‘Riders of Justice’ cast members Lars Brygmann, Andrea Heick Gadeberg, Mads Mikkelsen, Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Nicolas Bro.

Riders of Justice is one of your more action-packed films. Did you watch any other action flicks, or were there any specific movies that inspired you while you were designing and creating the action in this film? Anders Thomas Jensen: It’s funny, because it’s always subconscious. I never look for inspiration directly because for me, that would be weird to do because then you’re just copying. Definitely in the back of my mind, there’s a lot of action movies and a lot of revenge movies that I’ve seen in the past that will work their way in there. The process for me is very, how do you say, unconscious? What’s it called?

Intuitive? Intuitive, that’s the word. Thank you. First of all, a revenge movie is not easy, but it always has a strong lead and it has a strong will, which is obviously really good if you want to do a script that moves forward. Hamlet is a revenge story, right? I love Once Upon a Time in the West. I love that. The Searchers. The Sting, I guess, is also a revenge movie. Also, there’s so much identification in people who are wronged.

Wish fulfilment. Yeah that too. It’s one of the obviously basic human feelings. Revenge, love. There are these emotions that you’ll do dramas based on long after we were here.

I understand that you took a break from directing for a while and you were spending time raising your family. I’ve noticed, with Men & Chicken and Riders of Justice there’s a lot of attention paid to parenthood, and the role of the parent. Was that intentionally woven into these narratives and something you were thinking of? Yeah. I don’t do it on purpose, but I can definitely see that every movie I ever made I’m very much a part of it. So the whole father story is part of my life in this movie. I have a teenage daughter who I sometimes feel like … I don’t at all have the emotional tools that she and her friends have. This new woke generation that I’m aware of; every single feeling and the environment and everything. I was brought up in a different way. So that’s quite personal in the story, the whole ‘father who has to learn how to communicate through feelings when he’s not very good at it’.

Mads Mikkelsen and Andrea Heick Gadeberg in a scene from ‘Riders of Justice’.

Would you consider Riders of Justice a Christmas movie? Well, it’s so funny because I didn’t see it at all before one of my editors said. No, I wouldn’t because I didn’t pay attention to it at all. The only reason it ends on Christmas is because that’s the perfect coming together of a family. I needed it in the end, but it could have been Easter, but it wasn’t. Perhaps it is a Christmas movie now because it does have Christmas in it.

What was the first film that made you want to be a filmmaker? There are several, but I think the first time I had was Lawrence of Arabia. I saw that when I was very little, when I perhaps shouldn’t have seen it. But when I was around ten, I got a bootleg copy of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. VCRs were a brand new thing and we got a VCR. I saw that film every day for half a year and I still know every line in it. It’s not getting out of my head. I love that film and I think from there on, I knew that I wanted to do films.

As a screenwriter, do you have any other screenwriters that you respect and admire? I have many. Billy Wilder is one of my favorites. Also, Ingmar Bergman, the Coen Brothers, Robert Towne, but many others also. There are a lot of good screenwriters.

I can see elements of those writers coming through your work, especially the first three. You’re really good at blending elements from different genres and putting strange characters together. Are there any other genres you want to explore that you haven’t yet? Well, it’s funny because every time I open up a new streaming service, I look for sci-fi movies first. I’m part of the Academy and when I get the screeners, I’m always checking for sci-fi. I have a love for sci-fi, but unfortunately I’m born in a country where doing a sci-fi film would just be insane. It’s never been done. If you have a really big budget, you have five to six million here. So it’s just something that won’t happen. But of course, you could get ambitious and write a sci-fi movie and hope you could do it somewhere else. I hope one day [to] do a good sci-fi movie, or at least something within that genre because it is a favorite.

But I also have to say, basically, I love all genres. Perhaps not rom-com that much, but I really like Westerns. I like war movies, revenge movies, dramas. I love to mix genres. Every time I do a movie, I get this from the distributors: “What are we going to call it?” Because it is this mix of genres. Genres, that’s just a sales tool really. That’s to give people, show people, “are we having sushi or are we having Italian?” So people don’t get confused. But I think sometimes I like it when you don’t know what you’re getting. That’s also what I love about the Coen Brothers and other directors that play with genres, is that I never know where it’s going.

‘Riders of Justice’ writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen.

Let’s talk a little about Danish cinema. You have your Lars von Trier, you have your Vinterberg and Susanne Bier. Is there an older Danish film that you would recommend that people should see? I actually thought about it and it’s going to sound arrogant, but I couldn’t find one. Not when I compare to what else is out there of American, French, Italian, British, German, Russian and Asian. No, there isn’t. Of course there’s Carl Dreyer. He’s an icon in early, early cinema. That’s the obvious thing to say, but no. For me, Danish cinema starts in the ’90s. Also, I haven’t watched many Danish movies before that, because there aren’t that many. Some people will hate me for saying this, but that’s how I feel.

Are there any recent Danish films or filmmakers that you can recommend? This year I saw a film called Shorta, which was great. It was made by two directors with no budget, about two cops venturing into this Muslim part of Copenhagen where there’s a riot. That was really a promising debut. Also, I really like the idea they had. They made a lot of great stuff visually and for almost no money.

What are your movie-watching habits? You said when you turn on a streaming service, you look out for sci-fi movies. Do you have any other weird behaviors? It’s crazy, but if I really like a movie, I see it many times. I also see it many times where I do not look at it. I hear it. I will just lie with my back to it and just hear the movie. Actually, if the movie is really good, it also works without the picture.

I think that’s [as] weird as it gets, otherwise I’m pretty much normal. I used to binge-watch. Actually, I tried to get into a Guinness Book of Record with a friend when I was fifteen, where, for five days continuously, we watched movies. I can’t remember if it was 107 movies. We watched movies and we had a video store sponsor us. We were lying in an all-night video store, and just saw films until we collapsed. That’s the craziest thing I’ve done, but we never got into the book because there are people that are better at not sleeping, so somebody else beat the record by far.

Do you have a list, or a record of what you watched? No, but there was a journalist that asked us what number afterwards. He asked me, “What film was the film number? 47, 46?” I remember him being very impressed that I could differentiate them.

It would have made a great Letterboxd list. Preserve it for eternity. The funny thing is years after I would actually see a film, and I would get an hour into it and I would go, “Oh, I’ve seen this one.” It was because when I saw the last 30 films, I was unconscious.

I need to ask about Mads Mikkelsen because he’s massive with our community. You’ve worked with him for quite a long time now, so you’ve got a pretty solid working relationship. Having just watched a number of your films in a short period of time, it was impressive that you found that range in him that maybe other filmmakers haven’t tapped into. Is there a type of role that you want to see him in that he hasn’t had a chance to play yet? Yes. There are many roles, but I don’t know. I could put a job description or a feeling on it, but it’s much more complicated with Mads, I think. We have this common thing that we love exploring people who lie to themselves, whether it’s comedy or drama. People who are not being honest with themselves and people who have this screwed up self-image, which in all the films we’ve done together, his character has. There are many other characters I would love to explore with Mads.

His looks are quite specific in each film. He just looks like a different person each time, which is great. You just want to see how he is going to look in the next one. His wife is like that too. She’s always excited and she was so happy this time because he wasn’t ugly. Normally he doesn’t look very well, like in The Green Butchers. Because he’s so handsome, so I try to do him not so handsome.

Riders is the hunkiest he’s been in your films, I guess. Definitely. The competition isn’t tough, though. You’re up against a guy who masturbates and a guy with a bad receding hairline. But it is by far his most hunky.

Related content

Softspacedad’s annotated rundown of 46 Mads Mikkelsen films, and ‘Mads Mikkelsen movies ranked based on how good of a father he is’

‘Mads Mikkelsen is filled with rage and has only one eye’, a list by King

Onebear’s lists of all Danish movies released within each cinematic year since 2009

Anders’ list of films by Danish directors or in the Danish language

Leyner’s list of Danish films nominated for the Academy Award for Best International Film

Mikkel’s list of Danish Christmas films

Follow Aaron on Letterboxd

‘Riders of Justice’ is screening now in select US theaters and available on demand. Images courtesy of Magnet Releasing.

#anders thomas jensen #mads mikkelsen #mads #danish cinema #danish director #danish film #riders of justice #revenge movie #revenge film #action films #action film #denmark #the green butchers #men & chicken #letterboxd

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dlwritings · 4 years

Text

Call Him Hers | Dean Winchester | pt 8

series masterlist found here

general masterlist found here

pairing - Mark-of-Cain!Dean x plus-size!reader word count - 3,100 warnings - language, violence, knives

summary - Just when they think they’re good to head home, (Y/N), Charlie, and the Winchesters find a piece to the puzzle they didn’t realize they were missing.

(previous) (next)

(Y/N) and Dean woke up to a knock at their door. Neither of them got up even though they were both awake. Dean pulled her closer to his chest and nuzzled his face in her neck. She sighed contently and wiggled closer to him, too drowsy to notice the morning wood Dean was sporting. When the knocking persisted, she sighed and pushed herself out of bed. Dean quickly adjusted himself in his boxers as he sat up and watched her walk over to the door. Sam and Charlie both burst in, and (Y/N) jumped back. “Jesus,” she mumbled. “What’s going on?”

“There was another kill,” Sam said. “We missed something.”

“Fuck,” she said, waking up quickly. “Was it another vamp?”

“Either that or a human decided to try sucking their friend like a juice pouch” Charlie said. (Y/N) gave her a look that silently said, Really? and Charlie just shrugged.

“So what’s our play?” (Y/N) asked, walking over to her suitcase to pull out some clothes to wear for the day.

“I say one of you stakes out the pool house again, see if we missed something,” Sam said. “I’ll check out the morgue, Charlie’s gonna talk to the police, and then one of you can snoop around Chris’ place.”

“Okay,” she said with a nod. “I’ll go to Chris’.”

Everyone moved quickly, trying to make up for the time they lost sleeping. (Y/N) was mad. She thought killing Chris was her ticket out of town, but now she was right back in. All she wanted was to head back to the bunker and forget that this trip ever happened. Instead, she found herself hotwiring a car and heading off to Chris’ house.

Chris was single and had no kids. It made sense that he would become a vampire for some sense of family. Then again, he had said the same thing about her. She shook the thoughts out of her head as she pulled up to Chris’ house. She got out of the car and moved quickly to Chris’ front door. He lived in a shabby area of town, so there weren’t any neighbors with prying eyes. She used her lock pick to get inside and shut the door quickly behind her.

Her footsteps echoed through the house, and she got a weird feeling being there. She pulled her gun out of her pants and held it at the ready, walking silently and checking around corners. She found Chris’ Macbook and logged on, hoping he had it connected to his phone. He did, so she was able to see his text messages. She saw the person he had been texting when they were at the pool house, and she felt her stomach drop. Just as she fumbled for her phone to call Dean, she heard someone behind her. She stood up and came face to face with Bryan.

“You know, you weren’t exactly the one I hoped I’d find here,” he said, circling her with a taunting smile. “I was really banking on one of those Winchester boys.”

“Chris said the rest of his nest died,” she said, gripping her gun tightly. Bryan eyed her gun and raised his eyebrow.

“Why don’t you put that down, and we can talk,” Bryan said. She considered ignoring him, but she knew her gun wouldn’t do her any good anyway. She wasn’t carrying vampire poison bullets. What an idiot. She put her gun down and slid it towards Bryan.

“So the rest of the nest,” she said, holding her hands up. “Not dead?”

“Nope, the others are dead,” Bryan said. “But I’m still kicking. I told Chris to tell you all we were gone.”

“So what’s your MO?” she asked. “You live here. You can’t kill the whole town.”

“See, I always told Chris not to go after the locals,” Bryan said. “I always go after the tourists. I stock up on their blood until the next round comes again. When I’m out, I take a little trip with the wife and pick up some outsider blood. Going after the locals draws too much attention. Chris was a newbie. He didn’t get it.”

He circled her, and she made sure she never had her back to him. “I’m just trying to live my life, (Y/N),” he said. “I’ve always just been trying to live my life.”

“You’re killing people,” she said back.

“It’s what I do,” he said with a shrug. “We’ve all gotta live.”

“Monsters like you don’t get to live,” she said back.

“You know, you’re really intimidating when you have no way to defend yourself,” he said. She clenched her jaw. She had an angel blade in her coat, but she wasn’t sure she was fast enough to get it out and gank him with it. He was stronger than Chris had been, and she didn’t know if she’d be able to hold her own if he decided to attack. “I’m sorry this had to go down like this,” he said. “This wasn’t my intention. After Amanda, I was going to tell Chris to stop. But then, once he stepped in-”

“He?” She hated when people played the pronoun game.

Right on cue, footsteps were heard, and Shawn walked into the room. She opened her mouth to say something, but Shawn blinked and revealed a black set of eyes. She immediately reached for the angel blade, but Shawn whipped her against the wall. She tried to stand up, but Shawn flicked his wrist, and she felt a sharp pain in her ankle. “That’s a sprain,” Shawn said, walking closer to her and crouching in front of her. “I can make it a break if you don’t cooperate.” She spat in his face, and Shawn clenched his jaw in anger.

“Shawn wasn’t always like this,” the demon said, wiping his face and standing up. “I know you’re wondering. No, I got in here long after he cheated on your sorry ass. Demons love possessing people who are already douchebags.” He grinned a moment. “Even now, Shawn’s just laughing it up. He always loved seeing you in pain.”

“So why’re you here?” she asked, still trying to figure out how to get out of the situation.

“Well,” he said, “when I heard there were vampires in Dewey, I thought it was perfect. Because, you see, I knew you’re from Dewey, and I knew you’re all buddy buddy with the Winchesters, and I also knew you and the Winchesters have this, this savior complex. You just can’t turn down a hunt.” She clenched her jaw. “You’re their achilles heel, (Y/N). Dean may not have the hots for you, but he and his brother would die for you in a second. So now, we bide our time and wait for them to find you.”

“What do you do when they find you?” she asked.

Shawn smiled. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Bryan fished in her pocket for her phone, and she reached out her leg (the one without the sprained ankle) and kicked him hard in the shin. It was a dumb idea, she knew, but she was running out of options. He kicked her in the stomach, and she groaned and wrapped her arms around her torso. Bryan got her phone out and harshly slapped her ass just because he could. He handed the phone to Shawn who swiped and unlocked it. She cursed herself for never giving it a password. Another rookie mistake. He scrolled through her contacts and called Dean, smiling as he put the phone on speaker.

“You find anything?” Dean asked as soon as he picked up.

Shawn scoffed. “Not even a hello, Dean? Where are your manners?”

Dean was silent for a beat. “Who the hell is this?”

“I’ve got (Y/N) here,” Shawn said, avoiding Dean’s question. “(Y/N), why don’t you give your hubby a little hello?” She clenched her jaw and sighed.

“I’m alright, Dean,” she said, knowing he probably cared about that more than anything.

“Now,” Shawn said before either she or Dean could say anything else, “I’m here at Chris’ house, and I’ve just been dying to meet you and your brother. So I’ll send you the address, you boys can meet us here, and we’ll let (Y/N) live another day.”

“He’s a demo-”

Bryan stepped on her wounded ankle, and she shouted out in pain. “You keep your hands off her!” Dean shouted on the other end of the phone.

Shawn laughed. “Well then you boys better hurry.”

Dean hung up the phone and immediately called Sam. “What’d you find?” Sam asked when he picked up.

“A demon’s got (Y/N) at Chris’ house,” Dean said. “He’s asking for us.”

“Both of us?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean said. “I don’t know what the game is, but he’s threatening to kill her. We gotta go.”

“Okay, let’s just think this through-”

“No Sammy!” Dean shouted, jogging to his Impala. “There’s nothing to think through. Whatever they want, we give it to them, alright? Nothing is happening to her because of me. Where are you?” Sam rattled off the address.

“I’ll call Charlie,” Sam said. “We can have her bust in after us and catch ‘em off guard. They didn’t ask for her?”

“No,” Dean said.

“Okay,” Sam said. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

Dean was glad (Y/N) was able to get out part of the word demon so he knew what he was walking into. When he pulled up to where Sam was, he also jogged around to the trunk to get out the demon knife. “I told Charlie the plan,” Sam said. “She’s already on her way over.” Dean didn’t respond, too focused on getting the knife and getting back in the car to get to her as quickly as possible. When both brothers were in the car, Sam said Dean’s name.

“I’m going to break your jaw if you keep talking,” Dean said.

“She’s gonna be fine,” Sam said. “She can hold her own. You know that.”

“They were doing something to her, Sam,” Dean said. “She was screaming. I don’t like this.”

The rest of the drive was silent.

(Y/N) jumped when she heard someone kick down the front door. Dean was holding the demon knife while Sam had an angel blade. Dean went to charge at Shawn, but both men were immediately thrown against the wall. Bryan laughed as he watched them struggle. (Y/N) wished she could do something, but she felt utterly useless. “You alright, (Y/N)?” Dean asked with a strained voice.

“‘M fine,” she said back.

“How cute,” Shawn said sarcastically. “Dean really does have a sweet spot for you.”

“So what do you want with us, huh?” Sam asked. “You working for Crowley?”

“Crowley’s a coward,” Shawn said. “90% of the time he’s so far up your Winchester asses, he can’t find his way out.”

“So what’s this about?” Sam pressed.

“Frankly?” Shawn said. “We want you, dead.” He pointed at Sam with a smile. “But Dean, well, we want him back.”

“You sound like a whiney ex,” (Y/N) said. Bryan kicked her again -this time in the face- and she had to spit blood out of her mouth.

“Stop fucking touching her!” Dean shouted with as much strength as he could muster.

“The power that mark gives you is unparalleled, Dean,” Shawn said, walking closer to him. “So I’m going to take you back with me, and you’re going to go back to doing our dirty work.”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” Dean said, “my eyes haven’t been black for almost a year. Why the hell would I work with you?” Shawn’s smile widened as if he was hoping Dean would ask that.

“Because,” Shawn said slowly, “if you don’t go with us-” He walked back over to (Y/N) and lifted her head by her hair. She whimpered and closed her eyes. “-what do you think is gonna happen to your girl over here? Hell, she almost makes you weaker than Sammy.”

“It’s okay,” she breathed out, looking at Dean with tears in her eyes. “Don’t do-” Shawn lifted her up and pinned her to the wall with his hand, squeezing her throat tightly. She could feel her eyes rolling back, but she tried to stay awake. She needed Dean to stay strong. Her life was not worth him going to the dark side again.

“Stop!” Dean shouted. Shawn turned to him again, and just then, the door burst open and Charlie charged in. Shawn dropped (Y/N) as Charlie took a few steps towards Bryan and sliced his head off with her machete. While Shawn was looking away, (Y/N) used all her strength to kick him in the nuts, hoping that was a pain he’d still feel. It did enough for him to lose focus and drop Sam and Dean. While Dean immediately rushed to (Y/N)’s side, Sam grabbed his angel blade and stabbed Shawn in the chest.

(Y/N) was slumped to the ground. She was still slightly gasping for breath, but mostly her throat was sore from the tears she was trying to hold back. “Hey, hey, are you okay?” Dean asked, crouching in front of her and putting his hand on her chin.

“S’just my ankle,” she said. Dean looked down at her foot.

“Does it hurt when I do this?” he asked, gently pressing her ankle. She hissed.

“Well it doesn’t feel good,” she said through clenched teeth.

Neither (Y/N) nor Dean were paying Charlie and Sam any attention, so they were oblivious to the way they were silently watching the pair talk. Dean stroked (Y/N)’s hair and hung his head. “I’m so sorry this happened,” Dean said.

“It’s no big deal, Dean,” she said.

“You were in danger because of me,” he said. “That shouldn’t have happened.”

“I know what happens when I talk to a Winchester,” she teased. “I know what I signed up for.” Dean frowned, and she reached out and put her hand on his cheek. She lightly scratched his beard like she had last night, and a small smile appeared on Dean’s lips. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m okay.” Dean sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Charlie and Sam shared a look that went unnoticed by Dean and (Y/N).

“Alright,” Dean said. “C’mere.” He lifted her up and carried her in his arms..

“Dude,” she said. “Put me down. It’s a sprained ankle not a broken leg.”

“Would you just shut up and let me take care of you?” Dean asked. (Y/N) huffed but zipped her lips, knowing that she’d lose the fight in the end. Dean smiled and kissed her forehead again. He brought her into the Impala and helped her into the front seat. Charlie and Sam got in the back. They drove back to the hotel to pack up their stuff and check out. A part of (Y/N) was a little bummed she wouldn’t get to say goodbye to Nicole, Stephanie, and even Jennifer.

What a weird existence.

Dean insisted that she stay in the car while he go pack up their hotel room. Frankly she was feeling tired and didn’t care enough to protest. She knew she’d fall asleep on the way home, and she could already feel her eyes fluttering closed.

When Dean checked out at the counter, he ended up running into Jennifer. “Hey!” she said. “Where’s (Y/N)?”

“Oh, she slept pretty bad last night,” Dean said. “She’s in the car, probably knocked out already. We’re actually heading out.”

“Oh, I’m bummed I didn’t get to say goodbye,” she said with a genuine frown. “Would you tell her it was good to see her?”

“For sure,” Dean said. “It was nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she said. Just as Dean turned away, Jennifer said his name again. “(Y/N) really loves you, you know that right?” Dean furrowed his eyebrows. What was she getting at? “There’ve been rumors going around,” she said slowly, “that your marriage isn’t-” Dean cut her off with a sigh, not in any mood to have this conversation. “I’m not saying I believe one thing or another,” she said quickly. “I’m just saying, whatever you have seems pretty real to me.”

He felt his shoulders drop a bit, growing a bit less defensive. He knew the tips of his ears were turning pink. “Have a good one, Jennifer,” he said. Jennifer gave him a small smile and a nod, then waved as he walked away.

When Dean got back in the car (Y/N) was already asleep. He hated the feeling in his chest when he saw her. Hated how much he ached for her to be his. Hated how he couldn’t count the number of times he had fucked up his chances with her. Hated that, no matter how many times he told her he loved her, she’d never really believed him. And sure, he allowed himself to imagine scenarios in which he told her how he felt -really told her- but the vulnerability scared him. Just like the vulnerability he felt when he held her as they slept. The idea of that kind of vulnerability scared him. He knew who he was with this mark, and he wasn’t a good man. Even if she believed that he truly felt that way about her -which, knowing her, she wouldn’t really- why would she want him?

Sometimes, he swore she loved him the way he loved her. When Chris was trying to hurt her at the pool house, all Dean could feel was the hope of her returning the feelings he had for her. And he wasn’t oblivious to her lingering glances, but -not to sound conceded- a lot of girls looked at him like that. There were never real feelings behind them. He guessed he was just alright to look at. But he didn’t want that to be why she was looking at him. He wanted her to have something more behind her stares.

Maybe it was just time he grew the fuck up. Life was short, and today was just another reminder of that. What would he have done if she had died and he never told her how he felt? He wasn’t sure he’d ever be the same. Dean wasn’t good at love. Didn’t know how to accept it. Didn’t always know how to show it. What he did know was he was dying to truly call her his.

----- ----- ----- -----

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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 4 years

Note

Ranking Brotherhood of Evil Mutant members (including all interations) from your, most to least favorite and please expound why. I do like asking for opinions.

Hmmm....there have been several iterations of the Brotherhood, and I’m not very familiar with some of the later versions, so I’m just gonna go with the earlier versions that I know. Bear in mind, this is entirely subjective, and I like most of these characters, so a character being lower down doesn’t mean I hate them. Going from favorite to least favorite:

Pyro:

Anyone following this blog has probably noticed I love this dude. I’m not exactly subtle about it. I think he’s interesting and fun, as villains go. He’s snarky and cocky, and actually rather friendly when he’s not trying to kill you - very Affable Evil. He’s not necessarily a very good person - he’s self-interested, and can be rather vicious, but he’s a character that I thought could potentially come over to the good side. He seemed, at times, to get into the whole “Freedom Force” thing, and clearly enjoyed saving people alongside Longshot. He seems to bond a great deal with his team-mates - Mystique, Avalanche, even Stonewall (although he was a dick to him and Commando when they first joined). He even pals around with Blob, even though he also snarks at him sometimes. In AOA, Pyro was the only one helping and being protective of Phantazia. And now in Marauders he refers to them as his “friends,” and is perfectly happy traveling around with people that used to kick his ass, even appearing impressed with them (especially Storm), and being a surprisingly good team player. I don’t think Pyro would necessarily become a good guy for altruistic purposes, but I think he enjoys having “adventures” and getting attention and hanging out with his team-mates. I think if Pyro was on an X-Team, and was made to feel welcome, he’d probably be content to fight alongside them and follow the rules (which is basically what he’s doing right now with the Marauders), and maybe some of his team-mates’ virtues would rub off on him a bit. (There was apparently a version of X-Factor pitched to Marvel years ago that included Pyro on the team, and I’m disappointed that never happened, although I loved the X-Factor that we got.) And of course, there was also Pyro’s somewhat redemptive death, where he came to regret his past actions with the Brotherhood and wound up sacrificing his life to save Senator Kelly (fat lot of good it did, since Kelly got assassinated shortly after, but hey, he tried!)

Along with all of that, I am also really intrigued by Pyro’s back story of being a romance author and journalist. There’s the whole dichotomy of a guy who callously burns people to death and also writes gothic romance novels in his spare time. And honestly, it sounds like he’s lived a really interesting life before the Brotherhood - traveling all around South East Asia, working as a journalist covering Indonesia and Vietnam (I’d assume he speaks at least a little bit of Indonesian and Vietnamese to be able to live there and cover news). His motives for joining the Brotherhood have never been established, and I’m dying to know more about how he met Mystique, and why he decided to leave what was apparently a successful career and probably fairly comfortable life to go be an international terrorist. Was it money? A promise of adventure? Did he really believe in Magneto’s cause? Was he already getting into criminal activity before he joined the Brotherhood? There’s a lot of potential for development there, but unfortunately most writers (except Claremont) tend to completely ignore all of Pyro’s backstory. I’m still hoping that Duggan at least makes some reference to it, even just a throwaway comment about how Pyro used to write novels.

TL,DR: I like Pyro because he’s fun and clever, he makes friends with his team-mates, and he’s a writer.

Toad:

Toad is a really intriguing character, but mostly I like him because he’s actually got a lot of potential, but he’s had a shit life and can never seem to catch a break. In the earliest issues, he was just Magneto’s abused lackey, and appeared quite sniveling and pathetic, but later on it was revealed that he’s actually quite intelligent (and good with machines), he just appeared “stupid” due to all the abuse he suffered during childhood. Toad also has a lot of interesting powers - writers seem to give him a new one every other appearance. His stamina, agility, and super-strong legs could actually make him a pretty good fighter if he got proper training. Plus he’s got the prehensile tongue, pheromone secretion, acidic saliva, secretion of a paralytic resin, mind control over frogs - his Marvel bio is a long, long list of secondary powers. Toad could be quite formidable if he actually got his shit together, and there are AU’s (like House of M and Age of Apocalypse) where we see a much more stable, competent, intelligent Toad who is living up to his potential. But 616 Toad remains a joke, He’s either a low-level bad guy (they tried to level him up in the 90′s by making him the leader of the Brotherhood, but it didn’t last) or a pathetic sad-sack used for humor, or both. His attempt to “join” the X-Men led to him being the janitor and basically getting treated like shit (he literally had no bed?) then getting kicked out when he follow Husk to the Hellfire Academy, even though he did that largely out of concern for Husk, and actually helped her and Quentin escape.

Basically, Toad has been subjected to horrible abuse pretty much his entire life, he has a mutation that makes him appear “ugly”, and everyone treats him with, at best, pity, and at worst, hatred and disgust. I’ll admit, he’s had a few chances to better his life that have fallen through because of his own bad choices (and he’s done some horrible things, especially when he was leading the Brotherhood in the 90′s), but most of the time he’s just getting continuously kicked while he’s down. To a certain extent, it’s really a matter of comic writers not being willing to take Toad seriously - he’s considered a joke villain, and therefore gets written that way, because he’s there as an accessory in someone else’s story. At least the Toad/Husk storyline seemed to focus some on Toad himself as a character, even if it ended badly for him. Sometimes, I kinda think Toad is written as evil or pathetic so that writers can justify other characters being shitty towards him. Like, Magneto’s early treatment of Toad was absolutely, inexcusably horrible. Magneto treated everyone in the Brotherhood badly, including his own children, but it seemed like Toad caught the worst of it. Pietro and Wanda were also disgusted by Toad, although they had good reason, since his affection towards Wanda was pretty creepy. Later on, Magneto was revamped into more of a noble, morally grey character, and his past abuse of Toad was mostly forgotten. I don’t think the writers are necessarily doing this on purpose, but it kind feels like Toad remaining a pathetic bad guy was partially a way to excuse Magneto’s poor treatment of him, since Magneto was being reinvented as a more likable character. And not just Magneto, but just about everyone who finds Toad disgusting or cracks jokes about how gross he is – it’s okay, Toad is awful so it’s totally fine to have the physically attractive good guys mock him and treat him like garbage. (Hell, the artists can’t even decide what Toad’s physical appearance should be. Is he skinny? Fat? Does he have green skin? Is his nose ridiculously long or closer to normal? Who knows what we’ll get in each issue. And God forbid he be drawn without his tongue lolling out of his mouth.)

Also, I think that a lot of Toad’s worst personality flaws are at least partially due to the abuse he suffered. To be clear, I’m not justifying the things that Toad has done. He set up death traps for people who wronged him, murdered Sauron’s girlfriend, and stalked and attacked Wanda multiple times. That’s pretty shitty of him! But I also think the abuse had a huge effect on Toad and how he interacts with people. Like, his tendency to obsessively latch onto people, and act like a sniveling lackey – the dude has had pretty much no love his entire life, and he’s always been treated like garbage. Of course he has no self-esteem, of course he’ll fawn over anyone that shows him affection. He’s been raised to believe that he is garbage. Even his tendency to gloat over others being punished, and his whole “I’ll tell Magneto, and you’ll get in trouble!” thing is an understandable survival mechanism – other people getting in trouble means that he’s not the target, for once. Obviously I can’t condone Toad trying to murder people that wronged him, but his anger and resentment is also understandable after the poor treatment he’s suffered. In fact, I think it’s actually healthier for him to be angry than to think that he deserves it. And a lot of the shitty things he did as Brotherhood leader also felt like him desperately wanting to be taken seriously, to be respected – also not a bad thing to want, even if his actions were terrible. Basically, Toad has a lot of personality flaws, and he’s also had a lot of experiences that created or exacerbated those personality flaws. The guy needs serious, long-term therapy, and I think he could become a better (or at least more competent) person if he got the help that he so obviously needs.

TL, DR: Basically, Toad deserves better.

Avalanche:

I have to admit, a lot of my love for Avalanche is all about his relationship with Pyro, be it friendship or something more. (It’s something more in my headcanons, I will forever ship them.) But he’s also a character that we don’t know much about, in part because he tends to talk a lot less than a certain chatty Australian. He seems, more than anything, to be a practical-minded punch-clock villain, who is mostly in it for the money. He doesn’t seem to enjoy putting on a show and reveling in his powers like Pyro, and he doesn’t seem to have the same mean streak that can be seen in Blob (and Pyro, to be fair). I’m sure there are probably instances of Avalanche being dickish and cruel, but in a lot of his appearances that I’ve read, he seems very practical. Do the job, get paid. He also seems fairly content to be a follower or a lackey – happy to take orders from Mystique, or even follow Pyro’s lead when Mystique isn’t around. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own ideas or opinions, but he doesn’t particularly feel the need to be a leader. Like Pyro, we also don’t know much about his past before the Brotherhood, except that he was married at some point. Where’s his wife now? Why didn’t it work out? Was it because of him being a mutant, or was it his activities with the Brotherhood that drove them apart? Does he still love her? Why did he join the Brotherhood in the first place?

Avalanche also seems to care somewhat about his team-mates, although he’s not as openly friendly as Pyro. During Freedom Force’s disastrous last mission, he made the difficult call to abandon Pyro and Blob to save Commando, something that he was clearly broken up about. And of course, he was willing to go on a mission in the Savage Land with Pyro to get a Legacy Virus cure (that unfortunately didn’t actual exist). Avalanche is selective about who he cares about, but he still shows that he cares through his actions. I don’t want to make this all about Pyro, but I really love their relationship. The stoic, quiet guy/chatty energetic guy dynamic is great. They just love being bros and committing crimes together, and they are quick to work together and back each other up, even in their earliest appearances. I would totally read a min-series focusing on the early days of Mystique’s brotherhood, especially if it gave us some good Avalanche, Pyro and Blob development, and didn’t just center around Rogue and Mystique (both fantastic characters, but they’ve both got a lot of attention directed at them already.)

Also, Avalanche likes to garden, which is nice. And at one point he just got fed-up with everything and tried to retire and become a bartender, which is very relatable. Unfortunately Red Skull murdered him after that. Sorry, Avalanche. I hope you are resurrected on Krakoa, living your best life.

Blob:

Another character who is often not taken seriously. Blob is mean-spirited, crass, and often self-interested, much like the rest of the Brotherhood members. He also was extremely close to Unus, and clearly devastated when Unus’s powers went out of control and killed him. Blob is one of those characters where I think his physical appearance has led to him being designated as a bad guy by the writers – he’s big and gross, so, just like Toad, he’ll be portrayed as a bad person in order to justify the good guys being terrible to him. (Yes, I know there are “ugly” good guys, but let’s face it, they are rare. Most of the good guys look like models.) Blob also, like Toad, gets a lot of crap for his physical appearance, something that is literally part of his mutation. I think some of Blob’s nastiness is definitely a defense mechanism, lashing out at others because he is used to being attacked. It also seems like Blob is really lacking in close friendships, like what Mystique and Destiny or Pyro and Avalanche have (“friendship”). He was really the odd man out in Mystique’s brotherhood. He’s willing to pal around with various Brotherhood members, including Avalanche and Pyro when they’re not picking fights with each other, but he doesn’t seem to have a best buddy after Unus’s death. I kind of admire Blob’s toughness. It would be easy for him to completely lose his self-esteem, like Toad, but he stands up for himself and never grovels to others. He is frequently insulted for his mutation, but he also seems comfortable in his own skin, which is good. He shouldn’t have to feel bad about his own body.

There was an AU story that showed a softer, more thoughtful Blob who wound up in a relationship with Psylocke, so we know he’s capable of showing a better side of himself. To some extent, I like Blob’s crass, take-no-shit personatliy, but I’d also like to see writers give him more depth. I’d especially like to see him reunite with Unus on Krakoa, and the two of them hanging out enjoying each other’s company. I’m also enjoying the cameos we get of bartender Blob on Krakoa, I hope he is also living his best life.

Phantazia:

Honestly, I mostly just want to know more about her. All we really know is that she has a PhD (in some kind of scientific field, I think….she is reading a book on astrophysics in one comic), and she was willing to join Toad’s Brotherhood (and she was also the only Brotherhood member that received an invitation from Exodus to Asteroid M). Why? What was her life before that? Who knows? Most of the time, she seems rather cold, and a bit distant from her team-mates (but I can’t entirely blame her, the Brotherhood is a rough crowd. It’s hard to be the new team-mate, and probably especially hard to be the only woman.) She did seem concerned about Pyro when he was suffering from the Legacy Virus, but she kind of dropped out of sight when the Brotherhood disbanded. She seems like she was mostly in it for personal gain, especially since Toad’s Brotherhood was more about petty crime than mutant rights. Apparently she was deeply affected by Wanda’s reality alterations, which took a toll on her mental health, and was last seen in a SHIELD holding cell. I hope she pops up again on Krakoa.

Rogue:

The only reason Rogue is so low on the list is that I sometimes forget she was ever a Brotherhood member, and because I like to focus more on lesser known characters. But I really like Rogue! She’s tough but sweet, and an incredible badass. Leaving the Brotherhood for the X-Men meant walking away from her team and foster-mother(s), but she still did it, and became one of the X-Men’s most dependable and valued members. I love Rogue’s past, her relationship with Mystique, her relationship with Gambit. I love how she doesn’t take shit, but she also doesn’t go around acting like a jerk, like some of the “tough” characters. (Wolverine, basically.) I like the complexity of her struggles with her powers, and her knowing that her strongest abilities, like strength and flight, were basically “stolen” from someone else. I feel like I should say more, but Rogue is very popular and has had loads written about her already. Rogue is cool, and she deserves the best!

Mystique:

A truly fascinating character. She’s also lower on the list because she is fairly well-known and popular, and also because she can absolutely be a manipulative piece of shit, willing to throw everyone except Destiny under the bus. Yet, at the same time, we see her appear to genuinely care about people, like Rogue, Nightcrawler (after the unfortunate “toss baby off a cliff” incident), Destiny, even Pyro occasionally (she has a nice moment with him on Muir Island, and also calls him “friend” in X-Factor). She’s a character who can never be entirely trusted, which is a large part of what makes her interesting. I think she truly does care about a few, select people. Hell, there’s an early issue in which Mystique fights a bunch of robots programmed to look and act like the X-Men (courtesy of Arcade), and she completely breaks down after having to “kill” the Rogue robot, then hesitates to attack the Nightcrawler bot. I think Mystique can also be extremely callous, cold and manipulative, but I don’t think she is completely evil, just very self-interested, like a lot of villains. Also, she’s probably seen and experienced a lot of shit over her long life that contributed to that callousness (I figure if I’m gonna cut Toad and Blob some slack, I should do the same for Mystique.) I do wish she would stop committing rape by deception in stories (meaning sleeping with someone while disguised as someone else). It’s something that gets glossed over, even though fandom generally despises rapist male villains (and rightfully so), but Mystique pretending to be Blink and sleeping with Mimic is barely a story blip.

Mystique is also interesting just because she’s such a badass. She’s cunning, a good leader, a good strategist, excellent spy, good at hand-to-hand combat (she only loses to Arcade’s X-Men robots because she hesitates). She is damn formidable! She’s also lived a varied and interesting life. There’s a reason she’s gotten so much exposure in comics. I can also understand her being short-tempered while leading the Brotherhood, as she has to deal with the three stooges of Pyro, Avalanche and Blob. Then things get even more complicated during the Freedom Force days. Mystique has a lot of shit to deal with keeping those idiots in line. Her relationship with Destiny is probably my favorite thing about Mystique, they are beautiful wives, and I hope she gets Destiny resurrected so the two of them can live happily together on Krakoa. (Unlikely.)

Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch:

I don’t have much to say about these two, even though I like them. I’m starting to run out of steam in terms of character analysis, and I tend to think of them more as Avengers than Brotherhood members. They both deserve better. Also, they are mutants and Magneto is their dad. Retcon? What retcon?

Destiny:

I don’t have much to say about Destiny because she is very mysterious – always working according to some plan that only she knows. So it’s hard to really know her as a character. She seems like a very intelligent and calm woman. She’s always chilling while the Brotherhood guys are freaking out or picking fights with each other. She also faced her own death bravely and willingly. She seems to have a good sense of humor. One of my favorite stories is Mystique disposing of Destiny’s ashes after her death. She is throwing them off a boat at a specific time and place, according to Destiny’s instructions – and the wind blows them back into her face. Obviously Destiny planned it as a last prank, and I have to like a character who sets that up. Also, one time she let a rock wall collapse on Avalanche and Spiral because she knew they wouldn’t be seriously hurt, and she hated Spiral and wanted to enjoy her humiliation. That’s some impressive pettiness. Destiny is cool, and I hope she comes back.

Sauron:

I don’t really care about him at all.

Mastermind:

Seems like a real creep, especially with his manipulation of Jean Grey/Phoenix in the Dark Phoenix saga. At least he apologized to her at his death. Also, he’s got three daughters, the dude gets around. Regan, Martinique, and Pixie (WTF?! I just read that in his bio.) I am really confused by there being two Mastermind daughters with the same powers, but apparently it was actually a mix-up between two writers. Oops!

That’s all. I know there have been later Brotherhood iterations with other members, including one or both Lady Masterminds, but that was during a time when I wasn’t reading much X-Men, so I’m not familiar with most of those characters. I might have more to say if I eventually read some of the later Brotherhood stories.

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saltandburnbabyy · 5 years

Text

So, This is Heaven Huh?

PAIRING: TFW x Reader

RELATIONSHIP: Platonic

AGE: 20s

SUMMARY: When things go seriously wrong on a hunt, not even the invincible determination of Team Free Will can save you.

WARNING: angst, blood, death, a whole lot of sadness

A/N: I seriously don't know where this came from, but hope you enjoy my sad boi hour writing.

MASTERLIST

It's a strange thing, dying.

At first, all you felt was a pain. This immense pain that seemed to spread through your body, as if flames licked every inch of you. Your head felt heavy and there was this tightness in your chest that would not let up. You heard getting stabbed was painful, but you did not expect this.

You weren't very aware of what was going on around you. Shapes blurred past you. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. You felt a presence next to you, something moving your hands from your stomach and as quick as the pressure was gone it returned with a greater force than you were able to give.

"Hey, hey y/n, look at me okay? Just keep your eyes open and focus on me. Just focus on me and nothing else. Dean! Cas! Get in here now!"

Sam. Sam was the one next to you.

Sam tried to hold himself together, especially in front of you, but the pain that he felt when he watched that demon plunge that jagged knife into your abdomen was indescribable. He wasn't sure if Dean or Castiel were aware of what just happened to you, considering they were going toe to toe with the remainder of demons outside the abandoned house, but he prayed that they would come inside soon.

The concrete floor under you soon became a comfort as a wave of icy numbness flowed through your body, replacing the pain that once flowed through you. You weren't sure if that should come as a relief or if you should begin to worry. The pain was gone, but something wasn't right.

"S-Sam. I...I can't f-feel anything. I don't..."

You saw the color drain from his face and his eyes became glassy. So, this definitely wasn't good.

You couldn't tell if he was applying more pressure to your abdomen or not, but when you glanced down at your body all you saw was red.

Red stained clothes. Sam's red-stained hands. The jagged demon knife that was once embedded in your abdomen only moments ago. Red everywhere. You tried to place your hand on top of Sam's, maybe more pressure to your wound would help, but your arm lied limp at your side.

You couldn't feel that either.

You parted your lips to say something to Sam, anything at all, but all that came out was a trickle of blood.

"Crap," was all you were able to mutter as your own blood began to pool in the back of your throat. You tried turning over to spit it out, but you couldn't even do something as simple as that. Sam looked down at you, his hands never leaving your wound and his gaze never leaving yours. Without looking up, he began yelling for someone. Dean. Castiel. Anyone to help him keep you alive.

You had to stay alive. You just had to.

Suddenly sobs reached your ears and you noticed the tears that flowed freely from Sam's eyes and down his stubbled cheeks. The only time you had seen him cry this hard was when Dean died (which seemed to happen on multiple occasions). He never allowed himself to show so much emotion, despite the situation. Hearing and seeing him sob freely in front of you caused tears to slip down the sides of your face.

The metallic taste in your mouth began to fade. Your breaths came out in shallow, gargled gasps. That's when you knew.

You were going to die.

There was no stopping it or reversing it. The damage was done. Your vision began to grow blurry and everything sounded like it was underwater. Sam's screams and pleas sounded muffled.

Two shadows appeared behind the youngest Winchester, but you couldn't tell who they were. Your vision began to blur and grow dark.

Damn, you wished Dean and Castiel were here too. Not only would their presence in your final moments bring you much more comfort, but you knew they would never forgive themselves for not making it you before you died.

Little did you know those two shadows were the men in question, watching you in terror and grief as you took your final breaths.

It took every ounce of energy in your body, but you lifted your hands and placed them on top of Sam’s very large and bloody ones. You weren’t sure if you were doing this for Sam or yourself, but the comfort was deeply needed and the smallest amount of fear began rising inside of you.

The Winchester brothers begged Castiel to heal you, use his "angel mojo" as Dean had put it. They were begging for a miracle the angel could not give them. You were to close to death for him to heal you.

You were barely in your 20s and here you were in your last moments. You thought you had at least a couple of decades before you bit it. I guess that's life for you. Nothing ever works out the way you expect it to. Dying at the old age of 90 in your sleep would have been much more pleasant, but I guess there is only one way out of the hunter's life. Gruesome and bloody.

It took every ounce of energy you had left in your stiff body for you to turn your head in the direction of Sam and party and mutter the last words that would ever pass your lips.

"I'll be okay. I'll be okay. I'll..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At first, all you heard were birds. Birds and the rustlings of trees.

You blinked a few times to try to adjust your eyes to your new surroundings, but it only took you a few seconds to realize where you were. It looked just the same as the day you last saw it.

It was your old family house. The color. The old porch. The faded white rocking chair on said porch. The lame welcome sign on the front door that your mother constantly refused to replace. It was all the same.

There standing in front of you on the porch was the one person you thought you'd never see again.

"Castiel," his name left your lips with such softness and disbelief you weren't even sure if he heard you.

Castiel stood on the porch of the two-story house with his hands in his trench coat pockets and a melancholy expression.

You didn't bother restraining yourself as you run off the road and down the dirt path to the porch, launching yourself at him. Your arms wrapped around his torso and you buried your face into his chest, not wanting to let go. There was no hesitation on his end either as he wrapped his arms around you and squeezed as tight as he possibly could.

"I am so...so sorry y/n. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's too soon for you to be here," Castiel whispered to you, his eyes becoming glassy with unshed tears.

You pulled away from his comforting embrace for a few short moments to look up at him, your expression confused.

"Cas," you began, "you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Not you or Sam or Dean or even Jack. This was on me and only me." You looked at him with such confidence and determination as you spoke, and every word you uttered was the truth. You were dumb enough to take on those two demons on your own. You thought you could handle them. You thought you were saving everyone. You thought your plan would result in everyone walking away. You were obviously wrong about the last part.

You buried yourself back into his embrace and sighed, "and I swear if any of you try something funky to bring me back it will not be pretty for any of you. Got it?"

Castiel listened to your words, and his heart ached. How could he go back to Sam and Dean and tell them that he wouldn't bring y/n home? How could he do that to them? How is he supposed to walk back into that bunker and tell them that y/n does not want to come home? That she refused to? What if it meant any of them sacrificing themselves for the young hunter that she would have none of it?

They are going to be crushed.

Castiel pulled away and looked down at you once more, "Y/N, are you sure? I-I can't just leave you here. You belong back on Earth. Alive and well and definitely not in Heaven. This isn't right y/n. This isn't-"

"Fair? Yeah, I know," you interrupted him, " but here's the thing Cas, life isn't fair. Despite what could have been done differently downstairs to keep me alive and kicking, I'm going to chalk that up to fate. It was just my time."

You knew this speech of fate and destiny was probably going through one ear and out the other for Castiel, and you knew if Sam and Dean were here right now they'd call you on bullshit because they don't believe in fate either, but you know what the first thing you felt when you saw Castiel was? Aside from love?

Dread.

Dread of going back to Earth and fighting the "good fight". Dread of fighting one bad guy after another with no end in sight. Dread of having to be the one to bury your friends and family instead of the other way around. Dread of all the evil and pain and sorrow that you had experienced in your few short years of life.

You didn't want to say this to Castiel, not wanting him to feel worse than he already did, but the moment you opened your eyes here, in Heaven, you felt nothing but peace. Peace and happiness.

You were just so tired of fighting.

Taking a step back, You looked up at him and laid a soft hand on his cheek, "It's okay Cas. I'm okay. Trust me on that."

He laid his hand over yours and gave you a reluctant nod. You knew to leave you here killed him, but this just felt right to you. Sure you'd miss everyone, but if it meant one less person for them to worry about than it looked like it was time for you to start getting comfortable.

"Hey," you offered a smile, "at least I made it to Heaven and not the fire pit way down yonder."

Castiel barely cracked a smile, but you didn't bother to hold back your laughter.

"You might not see me for a while," Castiel began, "I just want to say..."

You watched as he tried to find the right words to say to you, is that this might very well be the last time you would see the winged, sassy angel that you've grown way too fond of.

"Yeah Cas," you spoke with light tears forming in your eyes, "I love you too"

For the third and maybe final time, you embraced Castiel as tight as you could and after a few seconds took a few reluctant steps back away from him. You didn't realize it until a tear slipped down your chin, but the tears began to flow freely.

"Goodbye Castiel."

There was a short pause before he said anything to you, his voice a bit raspy.

"Goodbye Y/N."

You both shared such a bittersweet look, and before you knew it he was gone.

After that teary farewell, you knew what you had to do. It was time to go inside. Taking a look around you once more you chuckled to yourself and faced the familiar weathered door. You could have sworn you heard laughter and the faint sound of music, oldies to be exact, floating from underneath the door.

"So, this is Heaven huh," you questioned out loud to yourself as you pushed the door wide open, immediately being engulfed in a comforting white glow.

You were okay.

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baeluz · 3 years

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Backstory Tingz

★TW: content about binge eating, restriction, sexual abuse, depression, alcohol abuse, and dysfunctional families★

Hello, hello, and welcome to my shit show of a life. Honestly, I don’t expect anyone to read this, but I feel like just posting this stuff will give me more accountability. Plus its easier to type than write, so lets gooo online journal.

Since the pandemic started, I believe all of us have been going through rough times. From the poor to the people up at the top, we all have our own struggles. I’ve been blessed with a life of privilege to be born in a first world country (US), and in a middle class family, and I’m incredibly grateful for it. But some days I feel like such an asshole, because I feel like being able to binge is such a privilege.

Now I’m not saying that someone who’s poor can’t suffer from binge eating, but I personally feel so guilty when I do binge, not only because of my body looks right after, but also because of all the money, time and food wasted. While there are people out in the world starving, I’m here, unable to control myself from binging. What made this guilt worse was me living in India most my life, since that’s where my parents are from. I grew up seeing people on the streets, begging for food and money.

As a child I used to be really fussy, and I would cry and scream until I got what I wanted. That mixed with a dysfunctional family, and sexual assault experiences from when I was a child gave me anxiety and depression from a really young age. And the only way I knew how to cope with that was drowning myself in music, isolating myself in my room and eating. It was weird, because I seemed like a happy kid that just likes being alone, but on the inside I was dying. I didn’t want anyone to see me, and I felt disgusted with myself all the time. I have a naturally curvy body, and since I was verging on obese as a kid, that part of me was very prominent. And you know the men in India, they stare at you like they ain’t ever seen a woman. It doesn’t matter if you’re a kid or a grown up, you got a vagina, they want it. Anyways, this made me wear jackets in scorching heat, made me not wanna look good because I thought maybe if I looked ugly they would stop looking, and made me want to binge more because of how disgusted I was with myself.

I’m older now, and I know I can’t do anything about my body shape, and its not my fault I look this way. I’ve even lost all the weight, and started going to the gym when I was about 15 years old. But through those years, I used to starve myself so much, because I didn’t know anything about how to healthily lose weight. And that made skinny fat, so my thighs were still huge as fuck and I was so triggered by it. It didn’t help that I moved to Japan by myself, and everyone around me was such a smaller frame, while I was looking huge as hell taking up so much space.

Everyone in Japan looked so skinny, and I wanted to wear the type of clothes they were, but I couldn’t do that. That made go through a cycle where I would restrict and walk like 30k steps a day, and then binge on the weekends. Once I discovered alcohol, shit went through the roof. I would buy 3 large cans of vodka soda, skip school and just drink and binge on food. It was so scary, I didn’t even realize what I was doing. Luckily that phase only lasted like 4 months and now I don’t drink alcohol at all, not only because of the binging but because of the type of person it made me. Once I even stole food from my roommate, but I quickly went to the grocery store and bought back another bag so she wouldn’t notice that I did.

Once I graduated from high school I came back to the US and decided to really turn my life around. I took a gap year because I thought I really needed to work on my mental health, and also because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in university and didn’t want to waste my parents money. This is probably one of my biggest regrets in life lol. Please don’t take a gap year if you don’t have a strict plan or idea about what you’ll do. I was so lonely, because I don’t have any friends here since I didn’t grow up here. I couldn’t go anywhere because my parents both worked all day, so I had no car, and since we lived in the suburbs, nothing was nearby. It was so depressing being all alone with nobody to talk to since most my friends were busy with university. Plus all the arguing with my mom, and just us not getting along really made me want to kms. I think if I didn’t have my dog, I probably would’ve gone crazy.

On the plus side, I started going to the gym and weightlifting. I started being more mindful of how I ate, and I was able to reflect on my emotions, and why I was acting the way I was. What was making me binge, what was making me feel so empty inside, and why was I finding it so hard to just “be normal”. I still don’t have the answers to all these questions, but at least I feel a bit more in control of myself than before.

Since the pandemic started though, I’ve just been so depressed. The gyms were closed, financial situations got tight, my mom and I were fighting a lot more, and I started binging again. Throughout 2020, I was behaving the same way I was in Japan. I’d go on 3-4 hour walks, and then restrict, which would ultimately lead me to binge. Its evident that even when you feel like you’ve recovered and moved on from your disordered eating habits, its always in the back of your mind. Almost like an addiction. Its to the point that food is the only thing in my mind. After eating a meal, I’ll keep thinking about what I’m eating next, when I’m eating next, and to finish eating before my parents come home, because I hate eating in front of people.

I’ve lost motivation to do everything I’ve loved, like writing songs, learning the guitar, doing yoga, singing, gaming, etc. Its just food, food, food, and its so scary. People don’t understand because its an internal thing. Those who’ve never been through it wouldn’t know. Like my mom, shes obese, but at least she doesn’t look at food like an enemy. She just likes to eat, she’s not ashamed of her body, and she’s also able to control how much she eats at a time. I wanna be able to look at food that way.

Anywhoooo, now that all of that is off my chest, I’m dedicating this “blog” to 90 days of getting back on track, and healthily reaching my fitness goals once again. This is really just for me, but maybe if somebody who’s been through the same things I have reads this, they might find comfort in finding that they’re not alone, and maybe they’ll be motivated to join me. I’m going to get back into weight lifting, along with eating a healthy diet with just a bit of a deficit, because your bish has gained hella weight lol. I also want to get back into yoga and aim to be able to do the splits. My timeline goal is 12 weeks, but of course I wont be bummed if I don’t reach it because its not like I have anyone to show at the end lol, but I believe I can do it if I really stick to it. Fingers crossed I don’t binge.

Thank you for reading if anybody has really made it this far <3

-Luz

#ed #binge #restricted eating #binge eating #body image #fitness #journey #journal #ednos #fat #food #lonely #recovery

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pluckyredhead · 4 years

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Daredevil 101: What Happened to Milla, Part 1

For the past while in Daredevil 101, Matt has been somewhat rockily married to a woman named Milla Donovan. Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed that Matt is no longer married in comics continuity. What happened?

*sigh* “To the Devil, His Due” and “Without Fear” happened, aka Daredevil v2 95-105 by Ed Brubaker and Michael Lark. Aka an absolutely interminable parade of pointless cruelty riddled with dangling plot threads and misogyny. Yes, the team that gave us the masterful “Devil in Cell Block D” has now gone off the rails so hard that Amtrak is still working on the repairs. (Sadly, their run never improves, so strap in, I guess.)

Now, Milla is not exactly my favorite character, but very few things in DD history make me madder than the way she was written off. It’s so clear that Brubaker wanted to fridge her but realized he couldn’t get away with a fifth dead Daredevil love interest, so he figured out a different “fate worse than death” (hoo boy we’ll have to unpack that in Part 2). No price is too high for a woman to pay if it means Matt Murdock suffers, amirite?

And with that tempting introduction (?), let’s get into it!

Content Warnings: Ableism, sexual assault and implied threats of sexual violence.

We begin with Melvin, who is in jail thanks to having attacked Matt back when he was blackmailed into doing so. Specifically, we begin with Melvin in a room with a bunch of dead bodies he swears up and down he isn’t responsible for.

Matt and Foggy and most especially Becky Blake believe him and take his case, but just a few days later it happens again - Melvin is found surrounded by dead bodies and claiming to have no memory of what happened but that he didn’t do it. The psych eval doesn’t go well, in that, well, he passes:

According to the doctor, this isn’t Melvin being taken over by his Gladiator personality or an actual second person stepping in - this is just Melvin himself killing people. Which for Melvin’s legal team (and friends) is the worst possible option, of course.

Meanwhile, Milla appears to have taken up therapy:

Aside from what this story does to Milla and Melvin, part of what makes it so bad is the structure. This was partially due to a couple of company-wide crossovers that we’ll see marching through the book in a little bit, but also just lots of things being set up and then dropped without going anywhere. Here we see Milla in therapy, which is never returned to or discussed. The sinister way this is framed makes it clear that the person she’s speaking to is the villain of the piece, but the fact that he met Milla at therapy is never revealed or mentioned at all. Later in the scene he says something about how he hasn’t told his wife that he’s in therapy but he should stop underestimating her, which is clearly meant to get under Milla’s skin in regards to her relationship with Matt, but that kind of subtle manipulation is too interesting for this story and leads absolutely nowhere. And of course we don’t get to actually see Milla talking to her therapist, which would require her to have an interior life.

Which means we have an entire scene that could have been replaced with a single panel of Milla bumping into someone on the street that would have had exactly the same effect on the plot. And the pacing problems only get worse from here, folks!

Anyway. The state decides to move Melvin, but he escapes his prison transport - and attacks Matt, who’s been keeping an ear on things:

Melvin kicks the crap out of Matt and escapes, but Matt realizes that there’s something wrong with Melvin - it may not be the Gladiator taking over, but this isn’t his friend, either.

The next day, Nelson and Murdock receive a surprise guest: Lily Lucca, who you may remember as she of the Karen-smelling perfume who aided and abetted in multiple murders and lured Matt into a confrontation with Vanessa Fisk:

As you’ll recall, the perfume Vanessa gave Lily to entrap Matt with makes her smell like every man’s fondest memory [INSERT GIANT EYEROLL HERE], which is why Foggy’s falling all over himself here. But now she has a problem: even though she’s not using the perfume anymore, she still smells like it, which means men are constantly creepily following her around, getting into fights over her, etc.

This is...sigh. There’s an aspect of “female character is punished for using her sexuality” here that makes me super uncomfortable. Certainly 90% of comic book villains have some kind of monkey’s paw in their backstory (“I tried to make a cool suit of armor and now I have robot tentacles!” “I tried to cryogenically freeze my dying wife and now I am really cold all the time!” etc.), but there’s a way in which it’s weaponized against certain types of female characters that’s deeply gendered and often kinda rape-y. (I got this vibe with Debbie and Micah Synn as well.) Lily wanted to control men through their desire to her? Well, now they might desire her so much they’ll assault her! That’ll show her! I guess. Ugh, it just grosses me out.

Anyway, Matt reluctantly agrees to help her, or more specifically have Dakota help her, since she won’t be affected by Lily’s scent the way he and Foggy will. Even with this caveat, when he meets Milla for dinner she does not like this:

I think we’re meant to be reading Milla as not being entirely rational about Lily because she’s so jealous of Karen’s memory and Lily reminds Matt of Karen, but she’s not wrong. I have no idea if we’re meant to read Matt as being sort of a douche in this scene but if my husband was like “Keep your voice down” and “Don’t be so hyperbolic” I would walk out of that fucking restaurant.

Or run, as the case may be:

Matt distracts Melvin so that Milla can get away (lotta Ms in this storyline), then somehow quick-changes to Daredevil for a fight. Melvin knocks him out and Matt wakes up handcuffed in the back of a police car:

The cops are arguing because it’s the middle of Civil War, which didn’t touch the Daredevil book very much but Matt was firmly on the anti-registration Team Cap side, unsurprisingly. As an unregistered superhero, just being out in a mask made him a criminal. (They don’t do anything with the fact that his secret identity was basically an open book at this point, which would have been interesting.)

Anyway, The Mysterious Voice Speaking On A Frequency Only Matt Can Hear gleefully tells him that he left his wallet at the restaurant, which has his home address, which means Melvin knows where to find Milla. Of course, Melvin was one of Matt’s bodyguards when his identity was first exposed and definitely already knew where he lived, but whatever.

Milla is, of course, wandering around the apartment in nothing but a bra and panties when Melvin shows up, because Daredevil artists apparently love putting her in her underwear to terrorize her and this is the last chance they’ll have to do it.

Melvin takes Milla up to the roof to wait for Matt. I’m including this exchange, where Milla tries to talk him down by appealing to his better nature, because it’s basically her last moment as herself. Reminding others of their better angels has always been one of her strengths, and she deserves to have that highlighted before...everything else.

Matt shows up. Melvin throws Milla off the roof:

Matt miraculously saves her and returns to fight Melvin, but Melvin has pretty much given up at this point and it’s all over but the crying. He’s bundled off to maximum security, and that’s...well, that’s the end of Melvin. This storyline came out in 2007, and this sweet, interesting character who has been around since the Silver Age has been unusable ever since. So thanks for that, Brubaker.

Matt’s furious, and determined to figure out who did this to Melvin:

“What did your sensei say about fighting angry?” always makes me laugh. Also, why would you ever suggest Matt follow Stick’s advice, Foggy, honestly.

(Foggy is A+++++ in this storyline and it makes me mad that I can’t even enjoy it because he’s just frantically trying to salvage a steaming pile of shit the whole time. Also given the overall ableism in this story I’m a little :/ that he basically takes over being the functional adult like Matt’s incapable of it.)

Matt runs into another dropped plot thread here because he gets on the trail of a street drug that makes people angry, which, like, how would Melvin have even gotten that in prison anyway, especially nonconsensually? Also, every other depiction of this drug shows it putting the user into a senseless rage, but Melvin sure was able to find his old lair, put on his Daredevil costume, track down Matt, and kidnap his wife when the plot required him to. How very Guardian Devil.

Anyway, Matt starts tracking the drug to its source. Meanwhile, Milla shows up at N&M:

Yeah, from here on out Milla is all tears and hysteria. Sigh.

Foggy decides to take her home, and Lily tags along, even though Foggy thinks that’s a REALLY REALLY bad idea because a) she's upsetting Milla, b) she fucks with Foggy’s head, and c) every dude in the subway is going to be all over her. But Lily insists, because she’s...manipulative? Genuinely feeling guilty and choosing the absolute worst way to fix that? Flimsy plot reasons? Let’s go with flimsy plot reasons.

While waiting for the train, Milla pretty much loses her shit at Lily, and also the world in general:

“I don’t know what I’ve done to you” is pretty rich, Lily. YOU LURED HER HUSBAND ON A MURDER CHASE ACROSS EUROPE.

Meanwhile, Dakota is still trying to figure out where Vanessa got Lily’s original perfume from - and Matt has followed the drug trail back to the Enforcers, a bunch of goofy-ass Silver Age villains we haven’t seen in decades. (They are specifically named the Ox, Fancy Dan, and Montana. They are ridiculous.) They clobber him and take him to their leader:

LARRY CRANSTON. MISTER FEAR. He made the perfume. He drove Melvin insane. And he’s the reason behind what happens next:

Lily lives. The random bystander does not. And when Matt, having been literally thrown out of the window and into the garbage by Mister Fear, returns home, Foggy is waiting for him:

Next Time: Milla is taken into custody, and Matt searches for a cure.

#daredevil #daredevil 101

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dramaqueeenamby · 5 years

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Feast

A/N: Yeah. Idk how to stick with the word requirements for blurbs so here is a whole damn oneshot with Big Nasty and a black reader. Also, ya’ll know I love Amara and she’s my go-to FC, but feel free to ignore and imagine yaselves’! :p

Words: 3.4K

Warnings: Slight, like very slight, and shitty smut

Tagging the fellow Flo’s Hoes/Lil Nasties who I know share love for our manzzzz and expressed interest in this hot mess!

TAGS: @chaneajoyyy @forbeautyandlife @heyauntieeee @crushed-pink-petals @mimigemrose @thepinkjinx @honeychicana @sdcyumyum @babygirlofwakanda

FEAST

“Bitch, hurry up. I can only hold my stomach in for so long. Not all of us have abs like you.”

Your best friend and current photographer sucked her teeth. “What abs? I haven’t done a real workout in months.”

You rolled your eyes, breaking from your position to place your hands on your hips and look over at her, squinting from the intensity of the sun. “What are we about to do then?”

Maya mirrored your stance. “You know damn well we’re only going to make it about a block before we call it quits.”

You laughed. It was true. While Maya had a bit more stamina than you, neither of you were feeling like being healthy. Plus, between decorating your new condo that you’d purchased with your best friend since elementary school or getting in a negative calorie burning workout….playing interior designer sounded a lot more appealing.

“Well let;s at least get these pictures done. We look too bomb to not snap a pic or two.”

“Or 100.”

You fake sniffled. “You know me so well.”

Sharing a laugh, Maya instructed you on how to pose, snapping more than two photos before you switched positions.

“Ugh. Give me your height, please.” At 5’10 with a slim thick figure, your best friend could have easily been a model if you two hadn’t went into the clothing business, opening your own boutique.

Maya snorted. “Give me your booty.”

“It’s a trade,” you agreed as Maya gave you poses that made her look even that more angelic and bomb than she already was. “Work, bitch.” The two of you fell out laughing as she gave a little twerk before covering her face.

“Can’t take us anywhere.”

You wiped at your eyes. “Nowhere.” She came to stand beside as you two perused through the photos you’ve taken eventually settling on one for each of you to post on social media.

“Franchise is going to love that one,” Maya murmured as you guys started to walk back toward your condominium, the decision to bypass the workout an unspoken agreement made among you.

You threw your head back and groaned. “You and that damn nickname.”

“I wouldn’t have given it to him if you would bless that man with some Rosetta Stone.”

“Now see, what we not gon’ do is talk about my baby.”

“That’s the biggest ass baby I’ve ever seen.” As her eyes fell onto you, she caught the sly and suggestive smile planted on your face. “Stop that!”

“You tell no lies,” you wiggled your brows as she grimaced.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” She pretended to gag as you pulled out your phone to check the post. Sure enough, he’d been one of the first to like it.

Smiling, you swiped to see he’d left two separate comments.

😍😍😍

Mine 🤪🙌🏻❤️

You quickly double tapped both to heart them before giving a quick reply.

☺️😘❤️

Your boyfriend, Florian, was the definition of unexpected. You’d met by chance, both of you being on the same connecting flight that been delayed, forcing passengers to spend the night in the terminal. Your phone was dying, you foolishly leaving your charger in your suitcase as you hadn’t expected your battery to die before you reached your stop, Honduras.

Looking around the terminal, you noticed that there was only one available seat that was near a charging station. And it just so happened to be next to the tall, large, and handsome man who you could have sworn you’d caught staring at you several times. Never really into white guys, even you couldn’t deny the man was sexy as hell.

You’d overheard him talking on the phone and noticed he had a European accent to his deep voice, amping the appeal you were already having problems ignoring.

As your battery sunk into single digits, you decided to approach the handsome stranger, asking if it was alright for you to take the seat next to him.

“Of course.” Was his kind reply, his smile causing your stomach to do all kind of somersaults and walkovers.

While you’d initially planned to pretend to be busy on your phone, it seemed as though being in his proximity or being the first to make the move was the only thing he needed to start up a conversation.

An exchange of names and casual conversation quickly turned into you learning almost everything to know about each other. He was an actor who’d just been cast in a film he couldn’t tell because of contractual reasons and was going on a short vacation with close friends before traveling to the states to start filming.

You told him how you were heading to Honduras to celebrate your best friend’s 25th birthday. His favorite color was green. Yours was pink. He was the baby of his siblings. You were an only child. He was single….you were single.

You could definitely detect the flirtatious tone he allowed to seep in his naturally confident demeanor and surprised yourself with how you matched his vibe. Then again, how couldn’t you? The man was gorgeous and his body was delicious.

And that was just from what you could see through his sweats.

Contact information was exchanged as you two eventually separated, and what started as a long distance friendship easily transformed into something a lot more serious. He was away filming for three months, 90 days that comprised of constant phone and video communication, virtual interaction constituting the forming of your relationship.

Though you hadn’t officially discussed the status of you “-ship” as you’d gleefully ran into his open arms as you met him at the airport, making physical contact with him for the first time since you met…..you just kinda knew.

Then, of course, the fact that you two went through almost half a box of condoms the same night and you learning the real reason they called him Big Nasty probably helped as well.

So now, months later, there was no question about where you two stood. Florian was your man, and you, his lady.

Pulling down to refresh the comments, your smile dropped as you saw Maya’s reply on the thread between you and your boyfriend.

🤨 She been both fine AND mine long before you, Franchise.

Looking at her with the ‘really, bitch’ face, she busted out laughing.

“You know I had to.”

You maintained your annoyed expression before joining her in her cackling. “I hate you.”

“Lies,” she sang. “That’s like saying you hate Baby Arnold.”

“Maya!”

She was right though. Though you’d always been hesitant about falling too deeply given your less than stellar track record with men, there was something different about Florian. Being with him made you feel like a teenager all over again. Hell, you were 25 and getting all giddy over a damn Instagram comment.

You didn’t want to say that you loved him. Not yet. Not out loud, at least. But….you definitely more than just liked him.

As you two made it back to your condominium, you decided to start unpacking the boxes that created a fire hazard in your kitchen. You’d had just about enough takeout and while neither of you could cook to save your lives, it couldn’t help to start learning.

After all, you wanted to try to learn how to make at least one of your man’s favorite dishes. All you needed was a recipe, ingredients, prayers, and a fire extinguisher.

“Would you get off your phone and help me put some of these dishes away?” You yelled at your friend as she waved you off, continuing her IG live as she ate the last bit of her Chinese takeout.

“You’re doing great, sweetie!” She snorted as you turned around to flip her off.

“Hey, Siri. Play my music on Shuffle,” Maya called out to the HomePod. You rolled your eyes and prepared to tell the music player to turn it off when you realized it was “Bust Down Barbiana.”

“Ayee!” You shouted, running over to turn the music all the way up as Maya jumped up as well. Going over by her, the two of you started to dance and sing along.

“Thank you next, Ariana!” You both yelled as you two twerked on each other, all desires to stay on task thrown out the window. You continued to dance, noticing as the viewers of the Live continued to go up and up as you remembered Maya had a good amount of followers.

For a second, you contemplated moving out of the frame but as soon as the next song came on, Tia Tamera by Doja Cat, you knew it was a wrap.

“Hair grow long like Chia. Money go long like Nia!” You sang loudly, moving to climb up on the half wall, dancing on there, dropping into a squat and moving your ass. “I am the big idea! My twins big like Tia!”

“Aye! Aye!” Maya continued to hype you as she grabbed her phone to better film you. “Get it, Thickems!”

Continuing to act a fool, you didn’t notice Maya roll her eyes until she shouted.

“Go away, Franchise!”

Hearing that, you looked at her. “Flo’s watching?” As she murmured a ‘you know he is,’ you grin widened as you blew a kiss. “Hi, baby!”

“Can ya’ll not be all romantic on my live!” Maya groaned. You ignored her and continued to dance, purposely moving your ass even more. Flo loved your booty, his big hands always going to grab or smack it every chance he got.

Especially during sex. His favorite position was any that allowed him to bend you over. The counter, the bed, a workout machine, anything really.

“He said get your ass down before you fall, Bee!” Maya warned, though you were unsure if she was just saying that or if Flo really was concerned.

“If I fall and hurt myself, will you come home?” You asked, half joking, half serious. Promo for the film Florian had been filming, Creed II, was at full force, your poor boyfriend having to partake in interview after interview and premiere after premiere. A part of you felt bad for him, but you missed your man more.

It’d been almost two months since you’d seen him in person, and he wasn’t set to come visit you for another month. Your shower head and vibrator could only do so much. You needed the real and much bigger thing.

But sexual desires aside, you really just missed being held by your boyfriend, joking around with him, forcing him to watch your “chick flicks” or the occasional trip to the club.

“Ooooh.” You finally jumped down and walked over to Maya. “Call him.”

Maya turned up her nose. “Hell no. This is a rated G live. Ain’t no freak shit taking place on my watch. I’m a Christian.”

“Bitch you a whole lie and 3/4ths.” You smacked your lips as you looked over her shoulder to see comments coming in left and right but focusing in only on his.

😂😂😂😂😂

“Call me, baby!”

“It’s maybe.”

“Maya, I am about to punch you in your throat.”

“Come on then, bitch. I ain’t never been scared.”

“You are so ignorant.” You wiped at your eyes and elbowed her, walking away to get your phone out the kitchen.

“That ass though!”

Shaking your head, you looked at your reflection in the FaceTime before calling him. Ring, ring, ring, With each ring, your smile dimmed. Why was he not answering? Eventually, the “unavailable” screen came up and you frowned.

“He didn’t answer.” You told Maya as she walked over, having ended her call.

Maya shrugged. “Probably went to go beat his-“

“Maya!”

——

As you finished applying your night serums, your mind was still focused on the day’s earlier events.

You’d tried calling Florian a few more times after that with each call being ignored. You texted him. No reply. Hell, you’d even resorted to more stalkerish tendencies by checking his IG activity to see if he was liking photos or whatnot. Nothing. He’d just gone ghost.

You tried to ignore it. You really did. The last thing you wanted to think about was him cheating, messing around on you. He was probably working, but as you thought about where he was and the time zone, what work could he be doing at 3 something in the morning?

Something just wasn’t right.

Of course, Maya called you stupid.

“Terminator knows I’ll kick his Russian ass if he breaks your heart.”

“He’s Romanian, Maya.”

“I don’t care if he’s Lettucian. He still gon catch this fade if he wanna be on some Tristian Hoempson shit and cheat on you.”

You chuckled. Your best friend was crazy, but you loved her.

Just like you love Flo-

“Oh hell no.”

Frowning, you walked to the bedroom door. “What’s up?”

“Ain’t this about a bitch.”

Sighing, you walked over to slide on your slippers and headed out your room. “Heifer, you better be dying.”

“Oh, someone is about to die.”

You rolled your eyes and walked over to the top of the steps. “What-“

Mouth ajar, eyes wide as saucers, you completely blocked out Maya’s smirking, charcoal mask covered as she crossed her arms over chest, and murmured a small “gotcha.”

No, your eyes were focused on the giant standing at the bottom of your steps, bag on one shoulder, suitcase on the floor next to him, his magnetic smile on his handsome face.

“Surprise.”

As though his voice was your ‘on’ switch, you broke from your trance. “Baby!” Descending down the steps with surprising speed, you threw your body into his, legs wrapping around his waist.

“Now what if you had fallen? Hmm? Who was going to pay that hospital bill?” Maya wondered aloud as you flipped her off while crashing your lips onto Florian, his hands going to palm your ass as he held you against him.

“Hey, hey, hey! All possible baby making activities need to take place in the bedroom as per section G, paragraph 2, lines 8 through 11 of the contract.”

“What are you doing here?” You asked after having to break away for air, completely ignoring your best friend. “I thought you couldn’t get away for another month.”

“I’m done in a month, but everyone needs a break, yeah?” His finger traced your lips as you went to drop your legs so that you could stand up, only for him to tighten his grip. “You missed me, hmm?”

“You know what I’m going to miss? The silence!” Maya groaned. “Where are my Beats because if you think I’m going to listen to “fuck me daddy” and “don’t stop” all night-“

Florian chuckled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, dropping your head on his chest. “It’s nice to see you too, Maya.”

“Don’t lie to her,” you mumbled into him as he turned to look at you, pecking your forehead, forcing a giggle as you clutched him tighter.

Maya gagged. “I’m leaving. Don’t beat it up too much. Tomorrow is the Lord’s day.”

“Hate you, mean it.” You groaned as she walked up the steps, finally leaving you two alone.

Hitting him on his shoulder, he looked over at you with a scowl. “Wh-“

“You had me worried sick about you.” You finally remembered the stress he’d unknowingly forced you to endure as the result of his surprise.

“I’m sorry.” You noticed the guilt in his eyes and voice and felt a bit bad about making him feel bad. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“I don’t like surprises,” you pouted as he finally let you down so that he could slide the bag off his shoulder, hands going to your hips. “I like being able to talk to my man.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna talk,” he hummed, head dropping down as he lightly nipped at your neck. “Maybe I want to touch…to taste.”

You released a mixture of a moan and groan, legs involuntary clenching together.

“You should be tired.” You tried to be considerate. As much as you wanted him, you thought about how he’d most likely been in the midst of traveling while engaging with you on Instagram. He’d been in airports and on planes for the most of the day. “At least, take a shower. Settle down.” Your fingers crawled up his chest. “Just for a bit.”

He sighed with irritation as you giggled. Standing up on your toes, you kissed his nose. “Go on. The sooner you get done, the sooner we can get started.”

——

Pouring the crystal light into the glass, you closed up the container and placed it back in the fridge. As soon as you turned around, you were ambushed with a passionate kiss, Florian grabbing you by the back on your legs and hoisting you up against his shirtless frame.

Hands holding onto his broad shoulders, you nipped on his bottom lip.

“I guess I don’t need to ask if you missed me, huh?” You teased as he sat you down on the counter so that you could grab your drink.

He chuckled and looked down, hands moving up and down your bare thighs. “I always miss you, Bee.”

Grinning bashfully, young nails lightly raked across his back as he netted his head into your neck. “Needy.”

“Very,” he absentmindedly replied, hands moving higher up your legs and under the big shirt you were sporting.

“Flo,” you whined, taking a sip of your drink as his fingers toyed with the waistband of your panties. “At least let me fix you something to eat.”

“I don’t want that.” He groaned, lifting and relocating you to the island. “And you can’t cook.”

“You know what,” You gasped and slapped his arm. “I-“ Your eyes fluttered as pushed him hands up your body, kneading your breast with one hand while using the other to carefully push you down on your back. “Not here.”

“Why not,” he murmured, kissing the inside of your thighs as he started to tug on your underwear. “Kitchen made for eating, hmm.”

You whimpered as his finger stroked your folds, a low groan leaving his mouth. You were already so wet for him. “You said you missed daddy, ehh?”

Nodding rapidly, you threw your head back and just as you felt his cool breath on your pussy, it fell out in breathy voice.

“Mmmm, I love you.”

Both of you froze. Your eyes stretched as you started to wonder just how you were going to get away from him, put as much distance between you two as possible.

Unfortunately, with the position he had you in, it was almost physically impossible for you to dash so you forced yourself to attempt to do damage control.

“I-uh-what I meant is-you know-uh-,” you stammered, finally gaining the courage to him to see that he was smiling at you. Like, genuinely fucking smiling. You wanted to smack him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you snapped, turning your head when you felt his hand come to cup your cheek, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“You love me?” He questioned casually, like it wasn’t something you’d been trying to keep a secret for weeks, still unsure if it was, in fact, love or just lust. Maybe that’s what it was. Lust. Yeah. It’d been too long and you were speaking from your pussy. Not the heart.

That was your story and you were-

“I love you too.”

Silence.

The silence that fell over you two was so thick that you could literally hear the sound of your gulp.

“W-wh-at you just say?”

He couldn’t have said what you thought he said. No. Your-your ears were playing tricks on you.

His gaze darkened as he gazed his lips over yours. “You heard me, frumos.” Beautiful. “You want me to say again?” He questioned, giving you no time to process let alone reply as he brought his head back down your body. “Or show.”

You moaned and released a shaky breath. “Baby-“

“Shhh,” he tugged your thighs over his shoulders, pulling you right into him. “Daddy needs to eat.”

And as your man finally indulged on the dessert he’d been waiting for all day and your mewling fueled his hunger, you realized that while your punani certainly loved the man feasting on you like you were his last supper…..so did your heart.

Huh.

“Ugh. I’m starv-ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!” A Beat. “YA’LL ARE GOING TO JAIL, PERIODT!”

#florian munteanu #florian munteanu x reader #florian monteanu x black reader #big nasty #big nasty fanfic

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marveling-chrisevans · 5 years

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When Happiness Leads to Death Chris Evans x Reader

Prompt: She was finally happy, So of course She’s dead now. - Why do you want to help, Most people turn and run at this point

A/N : hey guys, so I wanted some prompts, so I got on Tumblr and thought these two worked together. So enjoy this? I don’t really write angst and was trying to challenge myself as a one shot. I mean this plot could be use for more but I was trying to keep it a one shot. -- Story is in the read below--

Home, wasn’t home. Most people say ‘home is where the heart is’, this was not true for you. They say about 90% of people look for people like their father, and with your luck you found someone who was worse. Someone who not only mentally abused you, but physically and every other way in the book.

You had to get away, it took you three years, to finally find the courage to leave. You ran as far as possible, you changed your name, and dyed your hair to change it as much as you possible could, just enough that if you were to run into any one you would know then they wouldn’t be able to recognize you. You could not look back, if you did you were waiting for your death, so you escaped. You found yourself a small apartment in the city, a job in which you worked part time just to pay for the bills. You were afraid that every person that entered was going to be him finding you. You had moved from Settle to the Boston area. You currently worked at a dunking donuts in the mornings, well you used your afternoons to talk to some one, and work a second part time job using her degree inputting data at your own home. It had been just over a month. You didn’t stop looking over your shoulder constantly where you were. You had been running in quite a few times as a barista , he came in at the same time every day and ordered the same thing, you both kind of flirted, you were not ready to jump into anything, but that didn’t mean you were not open for the extra couple dollars of a tip he gave you at the end of the week. “you know what, we have been doing this flirting thing for weeks now, can I give you my number and take you out on a proper date?” He wondered as he handed you a slip of paper that read his number “ill text you and see if I can make that happen” you responded as you bite your inner lip and handed him the coffee you had come to memorize that he ordered every day.

You hesitated to text him back , in fact you even avoided him for about a week, letting someone else help him and always disappear in the back when he came around. You knew the moment that you became happy everything you had done, your walls, your defenses would be put on hold. How could you resist that perfect smile, and those blue eyes. About a month later, you finally decided to text him. You opted to go on the first date in a very public place. This way if you needed to escape you could quickly and without being really noticed. It was like love at first date. The two of you just clicked, and he was like no other man that you had met before. He was Chris and you were, allowed to be you. Not some scared little girl looking over her shoulder for the big bad ex.

Your first date, was perfect, everything you could have imagined, he was a true gentleman, someone you had never met before, a way you were never treated even growing up. You didn’t know that men would be this nice. It was a Shame that it was not going to work out between the two of you. You knew you couldn’t put that person that was so nice, so innocent into your world. The next day you said Chris a text message. “im so sorry, I can’t let you into my life, knowing how it might end, I can’t let it hurt you too, we can’t date, im so sorry” you said simply. That day he didn’t show up at the coffee shop at his normal time. You sighed as you walked out of the coffee shop and a hand grabbed you as you were rounding the corner Your heart stopped, your worst fears came into your body. Chills got sent down your body as you spun around and saw who it was you took a deep breath as nothing happened. “you owe me something better than, I can’t let it hurt you too” Chris said back to you as he leaned forward and kissed you. The kiss you felt it in your toes, the kind of kiss that made you forget why you were running. You wrapped your arms around his neck before you pulled away “i can’t, I just can’t” you reply and pushed him away before you quickly tried to walk away. “no you can’t just do that” he said as he followed you “whatever you are running from you don’t have to do it alone” “yah I do and if I Don’t then someone I know is going to get hurt and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself Chris, I just can’t okay” you replied as you looked up at him. As he held you against the wall Chris nodded “well don’t think that I am going to give up, ill break you” He said back to you as he slowly let his hands run down your sides “you know ill protect you, no matter what” he said simply before he ran his hand though his head and walked away You took a deep breath.. you watched him walk away. You couldn’t let that man ruin all of your life. You couldn’t let your life pass you by and the only good thing to maybe come out of it, and walk away with it. You hesitated but he was still in ear shot as you changed your mind “wait” you said back to him as he quickly walked to him. “if we are going to date and this is going to go anywhere you need to know the truth” she said “but not here” you said as you grabbed his arm and pulled him to your apartment which was right there. It was not a big, maybe bigger than a shoe box, but it was a studio where the paint was pealing, and everything looked old.. and the building most likely had mice. But it was all you could afford “y/n” he said back to you “you are really freaking me out” He said back to you, as you lead him to the couch “All of my life I’ve thought love was pain. I thought pain was something to be in a expected” you replied “i was abused. For year I finally got the courage to get out of there, I ran as far as possible which ended me up here. You have to understand if he ever finds me I will end up dead, and I don’t want to bring anyone else into that life with me” Chris put his hand on your cheek and looked at you “pain I not love. And I will do what I can to help protect you, im not going to let anything happen to you y/n’ I know we haven’t known each other long, but I know you deserve to be happy, and I know you deserve to know what love actually is. “ he replied to you as he wiped the tear that had slowly started to fall down your cheek. The two of you, fall madly in love with each-other, spending every moment together, you ended up telling him your real name, which looking back now was a mistake, the two of you move in together. You finally found out what love actually is. You fell in love with the most amazing man. You wanted to spend your life with him, so the moment that he proposed to you, about six months later you didn’t hesitate. You said yes. So fast and grabbed him kissing him right after that moment. You didn’t understand after everything and the constantly being afraid he didn’t run, he stayed though all of it. The extra security in the house, the always checking in with you as you were just afraid. He stuck around and you never knew a person who cared so deeply The two of you started to plan this wedding, as Chris was busy with work, and you were still working part time at the coffee shop. You started to feel off, as if someone was following you. Was someone really there? You didn’t know if someone actually was, or if it was just your worry that you were actually happy that something bad was going to go on. You walked into your apartment that you now shared with Chris. You throw your bag on the couch and he wasn’t usually home at this time of day, but there was still some music playing “babe are you here?” You wondered as you carefully walked though the house. That was when you felt the arm around your body, and a knife held close to your neck “did you really think that you could hid?” He raspy voice said behind you. You swallowed hard as you could feel the blade push harder against your neck, and a warm drop of blood run down the rest of your neck “im sorry” you said to the man to try and plead for your life “ill come home I am so sorry” “no you are not” he said “you brought this upon yourself.” He said back to you. Little did he know you were not going to go down easily, you had been taking self defense classes with Chris. You were working on protecting yourself. You take a deep breath as you hit him right in the balls with that he released his grip. You quickly run to the room you came form to grab your phone to try and dial 911, or the security company. You quickly tried to dial before you got pulled and then hit “Please I am sorry” she said “please don’t hurt me” you plead one more time as you struggled against him. Though you had fight and you both struggled for a little bit as you were just not strong enough and only were able to dial 91 before he got the better of you. Six stab wounds later. You laid there as you gasped for air and he left. You could feel the life draining out of your body. Chris came home about two hours later and saw you laying there, in your own blood, lifeless.. He tried to wake you up and he could not. He finished what you were doing and called the police as he was now covered in your blood and dying on the inside trying to stay strong.

#chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans fandom #Chris Evans #chris evans imagine #angst #chris evans x reader #Marvel #Avengers #Fanfiction

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thorinkingoferebor · 5 years

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24 hours later: i'm still outraged as ever & i've found a couple of new things to be outraged about that i somehow just missed yesterday. which is understandable. hard to keep track of all the fuck ups!

what was the point of euron fighting jaime? also how did they even end up together? that was another case of characters just conveniently appearing at the right time at the right location (which is like euron’s mine character trait at this point: randomly showing up without any real reason just to fuck shit up in the most annoying way possible). Also: why didn't Jaime just go for this route the first time around?! he might have even made it in time. why is euron so obsessed with killing jaime? why is euron in general? what's his point? was he ever meant to be anything but a cheap plot device? everyone deserved better than this

the fact that the unsullied officers just left tyrion with jaime no questions asked is probably the dumbest moment of the entire episode. dany has often and loudly questions tyrion's loyalty but nothing suspicious about tyrion (THE HAND OF THE QUEEN) wanting to stand guard outside the tent and sending everyone else away. like what's he gonna do? free the person he clearly loves most in the world with a key that just magically appeared in his hand while davos somehow sneaks past the entire greyjoy fleet to leave a boat at the foot of the red keep? naaah (how did davos get back from there btw? did he tow another boat? was he not alone? why am i even trying to make sense of this we all know this plot was written on a piece of toilet paper)

and what's with dany never learning of jaime's escape?! someone must have checked on such a high profile prisoner in the morning? someone must have noticed and told dany who just hours ago threatened tyrion with death should he ever betray her. why did noone come up with the idea to use jaime as a hostage??? but guess everyone just forgot about him, just like the writers forgot about his arc :))))))))))))))))))

where did all the dothraki come from? why are there still so many unsullied left? it sure looked like 90% of them died in winterfell. then we see a significant number in episode five and in the trailer for episode 6 it looks like thousands??? do they just respawn? are we following video game logic now? (btw remember when soldiers had actual personalities? when was the last time an unsullied beside grey worm or a dothraki did anything to remind us they're more than npcs. what do they think about all of this? what did they think about the army of the dead? how are they coping? why was everyone suddenly ok with senseless violence against children even though dany has been saying for years she doesn't want that. yeah sure, she started the kings landing BBQ but she was in a completely different part of the city. there was no way for the foot soldier to know that she was indeed butchering civilians and not just wiping out the last remainders of the lannister forces that hadn't put down their weapons. i’m glad though that they all apparently learned to communicate with each other telepathically otherwise they would be as freaking lost as me rn

one thing the books and previous seasons have been really good at is small little world-building elements that pay off later. and they could have used that in season 8! there wasn't any need to introduce new stuff they could have just used what's already there. they did well on that account with lyanna, jorah and theon. Theon probably had the best arc this season tbh (not a tough competition but it's something) and died a stark and a greyjoy. His identity was the major theme of his journey and seeing it played out this way was satisfying! Lyanna and Jorah both embodied "Here We Stand" in their final moments (Jorah quite literally) and that was wonderful! Why couldn't we get something like this for the Lannisters? Why couldn't we get one final, brilliant scene with cersei trying to turn the tide (backup plan? never heard of it). Don't get me wrong, Lena's acting was fantastic but why couldn't we get a "Hear me roar" moment? Her arc was tide to house Lannister more than any other and yet we didn't get anything? Why didn't we get any rewarding rains of castamere parallels? if they're set on wiping house lannister off the map why not show the tragedy and irony of it. why not remind of us tywin's fantastic speech in season 2? they could have used any of those themes but they didn't???

i'm still not even ready to begin to vocalize my opinions regarding jaime. every time i think about it i can feel my life drain out of me. what a fucking waste you guys

what i can vocalize now however is how much i do hate cersei's end and how they treated lena. I cannot get over that. like i realize she is a villain and i realize she is not meant to be a sympathetic character and she never had a chance to get redemption or get out alive but the show treated her like dirt in the end and just like jaime she was eventually reduced to the incest plotline. she started this show out as someone completely at the mercy of the men in her life (her father, her husband) and while jaime was a big part of her arc her main objective was always throwing off that control and taking it herself. sure she overdid it massively and became power hungry but that power hunger is a direct result of the way she was brought up and everything she was forced into/everything she was denied. weirdly, her conflicts are very similar to brienne's. both women didn't want the roles their peers tried to force them into, both women wanted to escape and both women assumed to do so they would have to take on male traits. brienne did that by rejecting her womanhood completely for 7 seasons and aspiring to be a knight. cersei took a very different route. maybe because she had that option (brienne couldn't mould herself into a proper lady unlike her) or maybe because that was literally her only option (imagine tywin's reaction to cersei putting on armour...). in the years that follow cersei and brienne obviously take very different paths and they have very different personalities but just as brienne deserved her knighthood and the affections and acceptance of the man she loves, cersei would have deserved to be free of men trying to decide her fate for her. but she never was. first it was her father, then robert, then her father again, then the high sparrow and when she finally wiped them all out she had to let another man she despised into her bed to maintain power. brienne managed to escape the confines of male-dominated society forced on her, cersei never did. they could have either shown her finally free before her death, free of the men that tried to control her all her life, free of the power hunger, free of societies expectations or they could have had her face her ugly deeds. i doubt she would have ever regretted any of it but it would have been so much more satisfying to see her properly outsmarted, to see her face off either dany or sansa or jon (or even tyrion or jaime had his character arc not been ruined before that). she was a fantastic, complex villain until she basically just started to stare off into the distance. it would have been so satisfying to see her face reality before the end. Instead, we got rocks. but even that scene (as beautifully as it's acted) isn't satisfying. cersei, who has never been one to just weep helplessly, is first reduced to begging jaime for her life & to save their child (AGAIN WHAT WAS THE POINT! I WILL NEVER GET IT!) and then she keeps freaking out because she doesn't want to die at all and certainly not this way (very self-centred as always whereas jaime is much calmer and at peace with what's about to happen and ready to take care of her even though he’s worse off) . i don't know if this was intentional or just a happy accident but even in those final scenes it's very obvious that the love cersei has for jaime is not the same kind of love jaime has for her. i guess they both ended up wanting to die in each others arms seconds before it happened so there’s that. but it’s a cheap ending for the best actress in the show before they robbed her of all opportunities to shine

oh and lena's instagram combined with her body double’s yet unseen work on the show has now convinced me that we're incredibly likely to see cersei's and jaime's mutilated bodies/heads next week. can't wait to see their characters disrespected on a whole new level jfc i’m so tired

i can't even think about brienne these days. absolutely seething. at this point i would prefer it if the brienne/jaime romance had never happened in ep. 4. if they'd stuck to glances and meaningful gestures at least it would have made more sense. brienne would have been his "what if" when they erased jaime's character development and made him return to cersei (which i maintain could have made sense because no matter what jaime will always love his family no matter how much he also hates them IF ONLY THEY HAD PUT IN THE FUCKING WORK). but she's not a "what if" now is she. she is his "this happened and it was good and important" but we're just going to forget this. we're just going to forget that the last 8 seasons have been leading up to this point. we're gonna forget that for the entire first half of season 8 jaime didn't even flinch at the thought of cersei dying. four episodes of jaime glued to brienne's side and then we're just expected to believe he doesn't care after all. then we're just supposed to believe she is never mentioned again and no thought of her crosses his mind or anyone else's for that matter (looking at you tyrion). I genuinely don't get what the point of that romance was then. to keep jaime in winterfell for a bit longer so him getting captured would make more sense? i feel like there were like a million ways to get the same outcome without throwing brienne under the bus. brienne and her entire arc were used as a cheap plot device for jaime and it wasn't even worth it cause they then butchered jaime's arc. god i'm so angry.

remember the last time a tv show fucked up in the last episode? yeah, dexter! i'm calling it now: got will end exactly like dexter in terms of plot and level of satisfaction. jon will kill dany (a family member/romantic interest) and then go north to spend his day in the wilderness (lumberjacking away miserably)

the more i think about it there is not a single thing about this episode that actually makes sense. this goes beyond plotholes, this is just a plain hole

#text posts by thea #thea watches got #this is my last big rant i promise #just need to get this stuff off my chest as well #it's a coping mechanism #got spoilers

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