pleasant break

Draft but I thought I'd post this before season two comes out and rots my brain even more. Also this was made with a sort've "everything's figured out and everything's fine" sort of vibe in mind so 🤷

My friend and I somehow got onto the topic of what animals the crew members would adopt if they could but it ended up just being us planning a DogDad!Izzy AU

I drew things for it

We are ignoring any historical shit on the breed we chose bc we think it's a perfect fit so yk

Made excuses for why Ed would break his no pets policy

Made excuses for why Izzy would break the no pets policy

The dog's name is Mutt bc that's all Izzy calls him and by the time the crew found out and wanted to try calling him different names, the dog was kinda attached to the name Mutt so..

He's a rottweiler/lab mix (for now). For historical sake, if you want, we can just say a rottie mix. Labs weren't bred til the 1800s according to a very shallow google search.

Doodles!!

Comic!!

Notes!! Headcanons!! Whatever have you!!

Izzy didn't plan on asking Ed to keep him, or keeping him at all actually. Mutt followed him, and probably snuck aboard. We thought it'd be funny if Stede and Olu found him since they probably wouldn't know about the whole "no pets policy" thing Ed has. They bring him to Ed and are like "hey look" and Ed's like "wtf, get him off the ship" but somehow, Mutt runs off, finds Izzy and vavoom or something.

Loving the idea that Ed would be convinced that Mutt is a pure bred killer, which is why he allowed him to stay, only to watch him smother some of the crew with kisses and cuddle every fucking day

Izzy and Ed both are literally perfect for the "dad who said no then became the dog's best friend" thing just thought I'd point that out

Wee John or someone sewing him up a bandana so he "looks like a scary pirate dog" <3

Frenchie is excited bc dogs chase cats away, but Mutt just makes friends with other animals so..

The only one who's able to actually ignore the puppy eyes tactic is Buttons. It just feels correct. Izzy and Ed almost can. Almost.

Mutt has to wait outside Jackie's bar when they're there. One of the crew always stays with him.

Really liking the idea of "dog" being a negative term from Izzy whilst "mutt" is somehow more positive so the name wasn't bad in his eyes

Normally sleeps besides Izzy's bed, since Izzy was the first one he got attached to and kinda the whole point of this AU of sorts, but sometimes he sleeps with the crew or Stede. Izzy won't let him stay with Ed alone quite yet, juuuust in case.

Izzy lets him sleep on the end of his bed, most of the crew lets him sleep curled up with them, and Stede doesn't like to let him sleep in his bed for fear of fleas and dirt and etc etc, but also there's no way in hell that man can say no to puppy eyes (I mean look at s1 Ed)

Izzy (maybe partnered up with Stede) tries to train Mutt well, but unfortunately Frenchie and Roach like to "untrain" him in a way, or train him in ways that aren't so Izzy-approved.

Whilst Stede reads to the crew, Izzy reads/tells stories to Mutt.

Roach learning to make dog-healthy treats for him!

It takes a while for Mutt and Ed to warm up to each other but once they do, they're homies. Ed still treats him like he can be a beast but learns not to push anything. "Go fucking kill that crab over there and I'll have Roach make you something real special." "No? Alright fine. No treat for you. Just regular food..maybe a singular treat for your effort."

Lucius turning Mutt into a little model, Wee John and them making him different little clothes to wear for said modelling, and somehow they convince Izzy to sit long enough to be sketched with him once and probably only once. Fang likes to sit and hold him whilst being doodled.

Jim and Mutt having little chats after raids and stuff. "Captain says your a born killer. Same." Mutt can't answer but they know he's listening as much as he can.

That said, Mutt is 100% most of them's personal therapist. He doesn't understand human problems nor has the ability to give them advice, but it's nice to talk about things anyway. My friend is a massive Stede fan so ofc they had to offer up Stede crying but hugging Mutt so it ends up being a good kinda cry. And honestly yeah I dig it.

Izzy's 100% worried that the "no pets policy" is gonna suddenly come back and likes it best when Mutt stays with him bc of it. This is a feel good AU, obviously, but angstwise, Mutt could totally be used against Izzy and the crew.

Fang definitely teared up finding out Mutt was staying, but got attached immediately and 100% wants to help Izzy protect Mutt.

For some reason, Stede gives off "has a pretty bad dog hair allergy, would hug a dog anyway" vibes, so that's something we like to joke about. "Your face is a bit puffy there, Bonnet." "Oh yeah, I'm terribly allergic to canines." "You what?" "I said I'm terribl-" "Get your face out of his fucking fur you absolute twat!"

Mutt likes to roll in mud when on land and some of the crew probably think "why not join him" every single time. Who? Idk. But some of them.

Mutt joining in on the fuckeries. Somehow.

The Swede singing and Mutt howling with him.

Frenchie singing and Mutt howling with him.

Izzy yelling at someone and Mutt barking/growing with him.

For the most part Mutt is an absolute sweetheart, but Izzy is his dad, and he's a fast learner. 100% acts all vicious whenever Izzy's feeling aggressive (but it's mostly an act and he just kinda idly stands by Izzy like "yeah I'm tough shit too" then goes back to acting like a puppy the moment Izzy shuts up).

Okay that's all for now, good night, AND SEE YAH WHEN SEASON TWO AIRS!

✨🎀🎈💞💥🎙️💌💌💌

No those three at the end aren't a mistake, I know you have lots of WIPs and I wanna hear about them (insert activethreat emote)

✨-What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit):

Hmm. I'd say Ten Lives (The One Worth Living) but I think I might be biased and just want to talk about my Johnny, Kitty, and Shadow ideas more. I like them a Very Normal Amount I prommy.

🎀-give yourself a compliment about your own writing

There's a post that I've seen plenty times before that I think about all the time that goes something along the lines of "I'm having creative ideas above my skill level!" or something like that, for when you have a great idea but just don't know how to execute it the way you want. I legitimately feel where I am at a point where that isn't an issue for me with my writing? I think most ideas I can execute within the general sphere of what I want them to be; I might not always like them, and they might not always be what I consider "good," but they are comparable to the original idea.

🎈-describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

It tends to change based on the type of thing I'm writing. And how much sleep I get. I like a lot of shorter sentences, followed by one long rambling one for most kinds of prose, since most of my prose is an ooo ouch my bones type of prose. It does change all the time though, so that might be different in a few months. It certainly wasn't what I preferred until like, August.

💞-what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

hm. augh. mm. thats a toughy! I'm going to say worldbuilding, because I often find myself more interested in the worldbuilding that the Actual Story I'm Trying To Write (its why a 30k first draft of a novel is fitting, completely unfinished, in my google drive. The current guys suck. I want the old ones. But the old ones only work as history for the new guys. Its sad.)

💥-find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

I'm ngl I completely thought it was gun safe but First Concert! It's a pretty short one, but it does what I sought out to accomplish; combine Dora and Ember's interests in a way that illustrates their differences but also shows that they're much more similar than you'd think.

🎙️-which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

I have literally never put thought into that ever. If I had to choose, probably All In The Name Of Love or Strength of the Past And Weights of The Present, mostly because they're my favorites.

Welcome to WIP hell! See, you'd think that it would be a problem, having two of my WIPS be EI so I can't talk about them, and one being one you know so much about already. You might think that would hinder me somehow, in being able to tell you about them. YOU'D THINK!!

💌- share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Chapter 2 Of Cover Blown: I love pitch pearl man, I really do, and with what I'm planning for this one I think it is going to be about as good as my pitch pearl can get (Dreamwalker excluded dw). I love putting guys in situations, especially when those situations involve bad injuries and babbled confessions.

Speaking of Dreamwalker, I'll add this here too, because while you might know a lot, I always have more. I love how I'm writing the ghosts, just across the board. They are all pieces of shit in the Funniest Way, especially since Danny is a whole ass child right now. You're scheming about a nine year old babes, calm down. He hasn't even lost all his baby teeth yet.

As for the last one, I'm going to put it under a read more. TW for bugs and Danny rotting, but its ok he's fine with it.

Bug Boi (title to be changed later) has been shelved indefinitely for. Many reasons! I have. So much to write. Bug Boi is, for those who do not know. Where I put as many bugs into the boy as possible. He loses organ privileges and instead becomes the landlord for a hoard of different bugs. He loves them, and they love him, and when they die (as bugs often do) they give him their little bug souls as a thank you so he because More Bug.

Anyway, I recently learned about the scorpion fly, who looks like this:

It is so cool, and has recently (idk how recently) been seen in forensic entomology, meaning that I can put these fuckers into Danny's eye sockets or esophagus or wherever else and be. Not technically wrong!! I have no idea if Bug Boi will ever be taken off of my list of to be written, but if nothing else it gives for me a place to put bugs.

HOUSE PLANTS, UPDATE 7

[novel intro can be found here]

HEY ACTUALLY I FINISHED THIS BOOK!

i don't want to get too sentimental [watch me proceed to get sentimental] but this book means a lot to me and i really could NOT have done it without the support of the wonderful folks on writeblr. the writing community is kind of the reason i even started this novel so it means a lot to me that i’ve met so many of y’all here. this is my first ever novel and i’m so glad i was able to make it so far! here are the final stats:

TOTAL WORD COUNT: 81,049 words.

STARTED: april 17, 2020

FINISHED: january 28, 2021

AVERAGE CHAPTERWISE WC: 3242

NUMBER OF CHAPTERS: 25

NUMBER OF TIMES LILITH SNAPS: 2

NUMBER OF TIMES LILITH SUFFERS: you know it’s too much to count.

the last month of writing this novel was so mixed. like before i hit the 70k mark i’d just been slogging through the novel, feeling uninspired and bored of the story. and then january hit and i was like. wait a minute. my deadline to finish it was the 31st of january. and so i basically startled myself into drafting again and then hit another wc milestone and that motivated me?? so much??? like i remember that drafting the penultimate chapter took me a pretty long time but it was so enjoyable because i was genuinely liking what i was writing and that hadn't been happening for the past few months. and then i wrote the entirety of the last chapter [it’s a vignette so it’s pretty short] for an hour until 1 am in my bed with the lights off and boom. it was such an experience. what makes it even more fun is that i’d drafted 75% of the book in my bed with the lights off at 1 am so this was such a nice full circle moment.

i’m also a little insane from all that lack of sleep but it’s okay we don't talk about that.

excerpts:

chapter twenty-one

this one’s a mix of the weirdest and most broad emotions. there’s a funeral in town, willow’s acting shadier than usual, lilith and juniper finally kiss, etc. etc. literally a rollercoaster. also it’s important that you guys know they kissed in a graveyard. nothing’s more romantic than that amirite.

Residual— that’s how we all felt. Just shells that wash away right before they touch land. We lingered like sleep at dawn, like medicine rimming the lip of cough syrup bottles, like fingerprints on fresh glass. There wasn't a permanence in the way we persisted, because eventually, one leaves their nest. They untether from the source in pursuit of the world. How would a dead girl do that? She won’t reside on the fringes of life like a bad dream.

god this prose is so depressing. even i’m getting sad over it and i’m literally an emotionless husk of a person. hey but the description slaps so enjoy.

also if you’ve noticed i’ve been sharing excerpts less and less in the updates despite the chapters being longer on length [these chapters average at like. 5k words] and that’s because i’m finding it harder to share stuff that doesn’t need context / isn't spoilery.

chapter twenty-two

ah yes the angstiest chapter, probably. something happens to willow that lilith blames herself for and this kicks off the final cluster of events that lead to the climax. i love this chapter because lilith gets angry [but at the wrong person aka herself] and we get to see this side of her she always tries to hide!! another thing that happens is that her garden withers so that’s a fun trip

My garden could have been a fallen kingdom. The ferns were rotting from under the flap, their spores gone. Gardenia blooms had split with their petals discarded like an evening gown all around the pots. The mint had binary fissioned and lay in shreds, the jasmine wilted and spread. All of them like war dolls, casualties of my ignorance, beyond saving.

poor garden :/

chapter twenty-three

this chapter. exists i guess. ISDNJSDUH i sound so disillusioned but essentially this chapter was supposed to end on a the ✨big reveal✨ that the book has been leading up to but then something. happened. and i had to move that into the next chapter and so nothing actually happens in this one! like it’s all important things and we’re setting up tension but overall it’s the least eventful of the final story arc.

We stepped together into our house; it had been abandoned for a day but was the exact same. Dust hadn't suddenly piled up in the threshold, sticking to our soles. The air hadn't musted over in the house’s grieving for its sole occupants. The bathtub was still filled. The water skimmed the floor, and I’d decided. I’d stay with you for the whole week, the fortnight, the month, the year. I’d stay inside with you, because me leaving the house, me choosing to spend any second of my life without caring for you, was a mistake. I’d always seen you as fragile, quiet like moth wings and just as delicate. Maybe I’d needed to feel I was protector just as much as I thought you needed me.

i really like this excerpt because it’s very simple and light in terms of prose but also the implications and that purposeful telling at the end really stick with me. exposing lilith since 2k20.

As morning rose the next day, like a curtain lifting, the sun picked itself up from the horizon, shattering cloudlines in a bright, orange glow. The skies got clearer by the hour as summer sauntered in again. Already the habits of my grounding were kicking in; my circadian rhythm bounded to my outside, too, as I instinctively scheduled and compartmentalized my daily life. First, wake up, check on you. Finish chores while making sure you’re alright. School, eaten with worry, but you're capable and you’ll call if you need help. Home, count your pulse as you inevitably slumped in plush sleep— at the coffee table, at the bathtub, in Aunt Hailey’s chair (rare), in your bedroom (rarer). You’d wake for dinner and read until the lights begin to dim and your eyesight tripped. You’d doze off for the rest of the night. Your internal clock was more functional, more efficient, than mine.

obligatory rhythmic everyday life excerpt that's reminiscent of 2020.

chapter twenty-four

THE PENULTIMATE CHAPTER! THE LONGEST CHAPTER!! THE ONE WHERE SHIT GOES DOWN!!! [can you tell it’s my fave chapter]

this took me two whole weeks to draft [it’s around 7.2k words] but it was so enjoyable the whole time!! there’s something so satisfying about making the quiet character, the one who never express anger, finally snap. so satisfying. lilith is actually pretty feral in this and we all stan. it also has a lot of simpler yet more sharp prose? if you know me you know that repetition is literally my favourite device ever. i overuse repetition it’s actually insane. and this one has a lot of that, but in a way that isn't annoying, and i really enjoyed writing it!!

I’d never been in your bathtub before. You haunted the room and it was always yours; I didn’t consider running the tap for myself. Maybe your going out prompted me this time. The water was so high it sloshed over the lip of the tub. The floor was slick like eels’ skin. My skin was blue with cold; the chill gummed my cheeks and ears and I shivered. My reflection stared at me in hatred, the features warped and pulled like taffy. I half-floated, a ghost in liminal space, and the walls were choked with water lines and flower patterns. With my body invaded by alien frost, with the ceiling low and cruel and ready to crush, I cowered. How did you do this every day? Did the clothes make the difference?

lilith’s going through it again ft. willow’s bathtub.

after this it’s a lot of incredibly spoilery stuff!! like the prose slaps but it’s too many spoilers to share. but have another description of the heaviness of midnight because i’m obsessed with that aesthetic

The lock clicked behind me. Silence descended like birdsong and I was paralysed, stuck at the two half-stairs that led to the outer path, stuck at the threshold of no return. My body shook. All around me was nighttime, gooey and heavy. I was unfurling, like a rose, step after step, pushing past the gate and onto the road. The wind was so cold it frosted my tears.

btw the chapter does not end on lilith crying she kind of has a girlboss moment and snaps massively [i mean after all she’s been through she deserves it] and then the main story aka the fictive past ends.

chapter twenty-five

the final chapter, which also happens to be a vignette chapter and is thus set in the fictive present! it’s very short and is only one tiny scene but it really ends on the perfect tonal quality for the novel. i can't share any excerpts because it really is very short so! have this iconic screenshot i took as soon as i finished the draft instead:

[also if you were wondering yes i did type the entire novel [and basically everything i write] on my ipad because i don't own a laptop]

and that really is it! this was such an incredible journey and i’m so excited to share more of my newer writing and upcoming projects with y’all. it feels so weird that this really is the last time i’ll be making official posts about this novel. truly the end of an era.

house plants taglist: @discreet-writer @mp-golfin @jaydewritesfiction @writer-in-monochrome @magnus-s-writes @firesidefantasy @sugarlessbubblegum @theoldcity @n1ghth4wkz @remi-writes-sometimes @suninks @dreamybellatrixanvm @camusbf @fablemancy @isherwoodj @svpphicwrites @spillme @sunwornpages @bijouxs @asadlitficwriter @bookphobe @sirius-xthem @carlyiswriting @hekat-ie

general taglist: @lovingyou-is @haldimilks @andiwriteunderthemoon @coffeeandcalligraphy @shaelinwrites @tuoyu @charles-joseph-writes @eklavvya @wolf-oak @bitterwitchwrites @laughtracksonata @whatwordsdidnttouch @indeliblewrites @thenataliawrites @illimani-gibberish @sienna-writes @jennawritesstories @chloeswords @aelenko @keira-is-writing @cherylinanika @infinitely-empty-pages @jmtwrites @august-iswriting @sarahkelsiwrites @freedelusionbanana

tumblr is being. really really annoying and wont let me edit on the browser so i’ve got the 50 mentions per post mobile thing to deal with. the rest of the taglist will be tagged in a reblog!

Hi! I was wondering if you could write something with EJ or Toby. I'm down to read whatever you feel like writing honestly. I'm sort of new to your blog and so far I really enjoy it! The randomness is so amazing. I never know if I'm gonna be surprised by Rasputin, slightly disturbed/confused by sand up someone's ass, or feel warm and fuzzy after reading a fluff and I love this. - Blue💙

hi yes i screenshoted this and put it in my drafts to answer later but i wanted to answer this last part nOw because it made me laugh

okok so i CAN TELL that you’re new because you’ve only mentioned like two things that happened these past two weeks and THEYRE NOT EVEN THE WORST THINGS TO HAPPEN ON MY BLOG

So I’ve taken this opportunity to list some of what I personally think are the FUNNIEST worst things that have happened within my three years of running this blog

Except they go from awe cute to what the actual fuck

This was maybe about two years ago? Could have been 2018/2019 dno but someone came to me with the headcannon that animals just naturally liked Toby and migrated towards him which was cute but !! THEN SOMEONE DREW HIM AS SNOWWHITE AND IT WAS SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON

People used to send me memes they made of the creeps (which is partly why I made @eyeless-cunt-art because I got like twenty a day and didn’t want to flood my blog) and they were THE funniest shit I literally used to sit on my bedroom floor as my phone charged and laugh my fucking ass off. This was when I had about 500 followers so I was still pretty new. There were a lot of Masky=daddy ones

The fucker wars. I don’t even know how to explain this one but if you search up ‘BEN fucker’ ‘Ej fucker’ ‘Toby fucker’ ect in my tags then you should...find some stuff on that. This is was before I tagged my nsfw stuff as pp warning so minors beware

Psp telling us about two trucks which is about two trucks having a loving relationship including having sex. Also has takes on toxic masculinity. A true masterpiece.

Laughing Jack sucking off Mr Krabs. They are lovers.

Me and Carrion pissing on each other in the shower

Another incident with PSP in which they introduced the cum house to me. That was fun. Look up ‘cum house’ in my tags if you’d like to learn about the house of coom

BEN owning a garfield fursuit

People saying they were going to use Ej’s cum as a face mask

People saying that they wanted to be Ej’s cum jar

That time the Jeff fuckers rose up and decided that we needed a new religion. It was hell on earth. Horny posting in my ask box led to things I’ll get to farther on this list. Look up Jeffism in my tags to see for yourself

Someone off anon saying that BEN probably has a USB stick for a dick. Then a debate breaking out about whether or not he had a usb or water rotted normal dick

Yet again another incident with Psp—they went on to explain about how BEN and Jeffery were murged furbies in an AU

Someone said that BEN and Jeff do nsfw roleplay as garfield and jon

There was a time where someone in my server said they shoved a cockroach up their ass when they were a kid and so it somehow became bug fucking and then that leaked into my blog as well. Anything in my server just can’t be contained. Also J posted bug porn in the horny jail art room so that was fun.

Peter griffen x jeff x herobrine love triangle. This is what truly turned my blog into a hellscape. If my followers weren’t sure what I was ok with before—at this point they knew they could send me the grossest shit and I’d only sob. I got literal writings of explicitly explained smut scenes between these three. Or just two of them. Cock vore, the word cummies, ect all became words I dreaded. I think there was one which included a piss kink? I can’t remember thankfully.

But yeah. My blog is a hellscape and this is only what I remember off the top of my head. Feel free to come in my ask box and talk more about what cursed stuff I’ve forgotten to put in here.

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

City Lights - Spiderman! Jeno

Okay so I wrote this in 2018 back when I mainly wrote for kpop on this blog and I found this in my drafts... I read through it and honestly it was a little too good for me not to post it, I couldn’t just let it rot without anyone ever seeing it... So here you go. Also I’m a sucker for both lee jeno and Spiderman, so it is no wonder I wrote this and poured my everything into it back then :D Enjoy!

genre: friends to lovers, fluff? A little bit of action, I guess

pairing: Lee Jeno (NCT) x fem! reader

warnings: mentions of violence, bruises etc., sexual assault (kinda, not too much though)

word count: 5.7K

The same people, the same classes, the same routine, the same city. Everything was just how it always used to be. You didn’t complain, though, it was fine. You just wished there was a little more excitement in the big city of New York that everyone knew.

And so you looked out of the window, bored to death, as your math teacher was writing exercises on the black board. It was not like you hated math, it was rather that math seemed to hate you. You were seriously trying your best but you and mathematics were just an impossible pairing.

„Hey, need help?“, Lee Jeno’s voice carried through your thoughts and awoke your from your daydreams about adventures and action.

„I was just dreaming, but yeah, please.“, you pleaded and Jeno gave you his all too famous smile.

Jeno was your savior. At least when it came to math. Whenever you looked especially clueless in class he made it his task to whisper some answers or important formulas you might need. He has quite the good memory when it came to stuff like that. Other than that, you usually didn‘t hang with him. He has his small group of friends and they sometimes go out together but they usually keep to themselves. However, everyone swooned over Lee Jeno because he was a sports ace and one of the schools most important basketball players. He also had this smile, where his eyes turn into crescends and everything else around him suddenly seemed unimportant when he gave you that smile. The only thing that made him seem odd occasionally was his particular liking of repairing and fixing things, or in general just doing things with his hands. He was often found in the art class room after school where he worked on whatever project.

But generally, Jeno Lee had everyone wrapped around his fingers, even if he didn’t notice that. And it was not a big deal at all because he was not an annoying guy or one of those bad boys or a class clown. Lee Jeno was just horribly normal and you loved and hated him for it, because this school was filled with enough of weird kids.

~

At lunch you sat with your friends, like you always did, right next to the table of Jeno and his friends. Your friends were talking about the usual – dumb homework, weird teachers, the latest school gossip – as you just listened to them while eating your sanwich and salad. But then one of them got a notification on her phone and it was a news article on the crime rate of the city and how it apparently increased heavily.

„Honestly, this is horrible. They write that the police is totally overstrained because they don’t have enough men.“, she explained after reading the article. Suddenly everyone turned serious and quiet, a worried expression was plastered on everyone’s face.

„They only seem to focus on the big crimes and important accidents such as big car accidents or bank robbery while the rate of sexual assaults and rapes literally doubled over the last year.“, one of your friends added, looking around the cafeteria.

„Honestly, none of us should go around the city after dark. At least not alone. It seems to be far too dangerous.“, you said, putting your sandwich back on your plate, suddenly not hungry anymore. This is not what you wanted when you asked for more action in this city.

Your friends agreed and then fell into a heated conversation on superheroes and solutions while you kind of clinked yourself out of the conversation and got lost in your thoughts again, your gaze lazily wandering around the room.

That however stopped when your eyes landed on Jeno. Just like you, he didn’t seem to have a lot of interest in his friends‘ conversation and instead looked over to your table. Maybe you were wrong but it seemed like he was listening to your conversation and he probably has for a while now. But then Jaemin, one his friends, ruffled his hair and motioned for Jeno to get up and follow him as everyone was now leaving their table. You just sighed quietly, trying to find back into the conversation of your friends.

~

The next day, you were alone in math. Jeno didn’t sit in his usual spot behind you, nor did he sit anywhere in class. His friend Renjun told the teacher that Jeno didn’t feel well and therefore stayed home sick today.

It was okay. It was just that now you needed to pay attention to the teachers words as you had no Jeno who would tell you tasks you might have missed. You still stunk at math, but you figured maybe you’d get better if you actually paid attention from now on. Especially now, in your senior year, you kind of felt the need to pay attention and be a good student. And so your tried your best.

Excited about telling Jeno about your recent realization, you happily walked into class the next day just to see that he wasn’t here today, either. You nodded slowly as you thought that maybe Jeno was actually sick, even though he never seemed to miss one single lesson. It was weird; you never once remembered Jeno to be sick at all, he was always there, sitting on the desk behind you, making small talk with your or telling you dumb jokes.

On the fourth day, you began to worry. Jeno was still sick at home, at least that was what Renjun kept on telling the teacher. And she was just nodding and smiling at him, asking if Jeno will be alright soon and come back. Of course she also had a weak spot for him, he was one of her best students. The only one that honestly seemed to be annoyed by Jenos absence was the coach, who desperately asked Jaemin every lesson when Jeno will come back and if he’ll make it to the game on the weekend. Jaemin always just ends up stuttering that he doesn’t know, because the coach always grabs his collar and presses him to the wall while talking to him, then releases him.

Today you decided to sit down in the gym and watch the teams practice as you had a free period. Again, the coach was asking around if anyone has seen Jeno today. Still, not a single sign of a comeback. It was the Friday before the match and the coach seemed even more stressed than before. He threatened Jenos friends, Jaemin, Chenle and Haechan who all were in the team as well – with a raised index finger. „Tell Jeno that if he isn’t here tomorrow I’ll raise hell for the whole team. No one stays home sick for a whole goddamn week!“ The boys just nodded quickly and then got back to playing. You closed your textbook and watched them practice. Maybe you’ll attend your first ever High School basketball match tomorrow, you thought.

~

Unfortunately, you couldn’t. Your mom had the genius idea of making you look after your younger siblings as she and your dad went out to eat. It was horrible. Your friends didn’t even answer your texts. After your parents arrived again, you instantly took the next bus and ran into the gym, only to be greeted by the leaving masses.

„Y/N!“, your best friend shouted as she saw you. She instanty grabbed your wrist and you followed the people that were now going outisde.

„How was the match?“, you asked as it was the question that burned your tongue the most.

„I guess it was okay.“, she simply replied while trying to watch over the heads of the people. „How can I know, I don’t understand anything about basketball. Jeno was there, however. Apparently Coach Johnsons threat worked. But he wasn’t in a good condition at all, Y/N.“, she then said in a serious tone.

„What do you mean ‚he wasn’t in a good condition‘?“ The cold air of the evening was hitting your face as you went through the door that led to the parking lot of the school.

She turned to you, frowning. „He wasn’t concentrated on the game at all. He also looked horrible, there were scratches and bruises all over his face. It was obvious that he had tried to cover them but not with a lot of success. I mean, it did look hot but like – I don’t know why he stayed home all week but it definetely wasn’t because of a fever or the flu or whatever.“, she sighed, a concerned look in her eyes as she looked around the parking lot. „My brother’s picking me up, you can drive with us.“

~

You spent the whole weekend at home as your parents said it would be more safe for you. You didn’t complain, though, you had a lot to think about. You also had homework for math and for the first time in forever you considered actually doing them.

But you also had a little hope. When Jeno was back for the match he’ll probably also be back in school, right?

And you were right. The next Monday Jeno was sitting on his seat behind yours. However, you weren’t greeted by his bright smile and a soft ‚Good Morning‘. Instead, there was silence and the dark blue hood of his sweatshirt that was pulled deeply into his face. Still, you could see some bright red scratches on his chin.

For the quiet ‚Hey‘ you gave him you got a murmured ‚Hi‘ back. The teacher seemed happy to have Jeno back and she celebrated it with a suprise test that just got her groans from her students. This time though, Jeno didn’t bother to help you. It was not like you needed it since it was about stuff you did last week but still, it would have been nice to hear his voice. But he remained quiet. After class ended, Jeno was the first one to leave, which was even more unusual behaviour of his.

At lunch, Jeno wasn’t sitting with his friends. They were alone and you took your chance to talk to them. „Hey, Jaemin.“, you asked and the brown haired boy quickly turned his head to you.

„Y/N, right?“

„Yes. I was just wondering where Jeno is? And why he left class so fast? I wanted to talk to him about some of the exercises we did in math today.“ That was a lie. Well, not exactly a lie but also not completely the truth.

„I think he’s crafting again. He’s been like that the whole day, I think he’s just busy.“, he answered and you could see that he said the truth.

„You should go and ask him yourself some time, Y/N. He doesn’t really tell us the truth, either.“, Renjun threw into the conversation and smiled at you a little. You nodded, focusing on your food again. You thought that it would be best to visit Jeno in the art classroom after school, if he was still there.

You waited a few minutes before you headed down the hallways to the art classroom. Most students had already left school when you passed lockers and the last jocks that went to practice on your way. Much to your surprise the classroom was unlocked and the door was even opened a little. You got a glimpse of Jeno hovering over a table, trying to repair something small, as it seemed.

„Hey, Jeno.“, you said as you opened the door a little more and stepped into the room.

Jeno flinched the second you did so, instantly clearing away everything from the table with a wide movement of his arm, hiding the thing he worked on behind his back whilst he turned around. „Y/N!“

You seemed to have truly surprised him, as his expression told you exactly this. Without the hood covering his face and in exposure of the daylight shining through the windows you could actually see all the bruises on his face now. There was one on his right cheek bone and another one above his left eyebrow, a big scratch on his left cheek and a ton of tiny grazes all over his chin and forehead and it almost seemed like he had a healing black eye.

You gulped and whispered a small „Oh my god.“ while Jeno quickly put on the hood again. „How can I help you?“, he asked and then cleared his throat.  You tried to read anything in his expression but even if Jeno was trying to hide something, he was defintely good at covering it. The only thing that was different was that he didn’t smile as much, which broke your heart a little more than you wanted to admit.

„I just …“, you stopped for a second, before letting your coverage fall. „I just wanted to check if you’re okay, you seemed a bit off the whole day.“, you confessed as you nervously folded your hands in front of your body.

„That’s very cute of you but … uh ... I’m fine, really. No need to worry.“ The words he said however didn’t convey his body language as the corners of his mouth twitched nervously and his hands were shaking.

„Really? These bruises seem to be quite bad, if you ask me.“, you tried again.

He unconsciously raised his hand up to one of the bruises but then quickly let it fall again. „Oh, those? Last week I got into a really bad street fight and it was honestly not nice, that’s why I needed some time to recover. However, I’m feeling better now, really. I guess it just looks worse than it is.“

You nodded, realizing that he won’t tell you the truth now. „You know … You missed a lot in math last week. Maybe I could explain the subject matter of last week to you when you’re free?“, you then offered, trying to give him a little smile.

He replied with one himself and made your heart jump with it. „That’d actually be quite nice. I totally failed that test today to be honest.“, he said, brushing his hand hrough his hair.

„Cool, then … When are you free?“

„Tomorrow after school? Like … 4pm I’d say?“, he suggested, scratching his neck .

You smiled to yourself at this action that you occasionally saw on him. He looked really cute doing it. „Yeah, 4pm sounds perfectly fine.“

~

The next day, Jeno left school after math. The whole lesson he seemed a little impatient, he constantly kept rocking his chair und you felt his feet nervously tap on your chair. He almost managed to make you nervous too and you wanted to ask Jeno about what was wrong but he instantly raced out of the classroom after the bell rang and after he didn’t attend any class, as your friend told you.

You almost saw your ‚date‘ in danger, but you still left home at 3.30 pm to be at Jenos‘ on time. You weren’t even sure if it was a date – actually it was just you helping him catch up with math – but you were alone with Jeno and that idea kinda made your stomach turn in excitement. Right now, you didn’t want to think that maybe Jeno just saw the girl in his math class in you.

Quickly after you knocked you were greeted by a middle-aged woman with black hair that was held in a lazy bun. A hand towel in her hand was busy drying a saucepan. She was smiling softly at the sight of you. „Hi, how can I help you?“

You pressed the books you held in front of your body a little tighter to your chest. „Hi, I’m Y/N. Jeno invited me over to catch up on math.“

The woman quickly raised an eyebrow and let both of her hands sink. „Well, I’m May, Jenos‘ aunt. Unfortunately he left 30 minutes ago but I’m sure he’ll be back soon, don’t worry. Please come in.“ She stepped aside to let you walk in.

„His room is upstairs, the last room in the hallway, you can wait there. Do you need anything? Cookies, tea?“

A little swamped with her hospitality you stuttered out „Tea would be nice, thank you.“

You waited in the kitchen until the tea was ready and then went upstairs, following Aunt Mays instructions.

Jenos room was quite messy but you didn’t expect less. You awkwardly sat down on his bed, the only clear space you could find. You dropped your bag onto the floor and put the cup of tea on the nightstand. You really were not the type to snoop around but there literally was a big wall right in front of you on which a hundred pictures and documents were pinned. There were pictures of different kinds of spiders and then spider bites and a lot of old documents from like 10 years ago. All of them were written by or adressed to a man whom you could only identify as Jenos dad. In between all those pictures you found pieces of different fabrics pinned on the wall as well and then there was red string in between, connecting different pictures and notes he wrote himself. You didn’t understand any of what was written on there but before you could get to at least trying to understand it, there was a loud noise coming from the window. It almost sounded like something dropped onto the fire escape outside of the window, so you went to check. But nothing was there, just a cat that was walking around in the inner courtyard and surely didn’t just jump from the roof.

„Y/N!“ Jeno opened the door and walked in the room. „I’m so sorry I forgot about our little math date, Mark needed my help with something.“, he explained breathlessly.

You nodded, still in surprise over his sudden appearance. „It’s okay, really.“, you said, sitting back down on the bed. You discovered new bruises on his face and pressed your lips together at the sight of it.

„I hope you didn’t had to wait too long.“ He kept on talking as he quickly took off his hoodie and dropped it to the floor. He walked over to what looked like the cupboard and opened it, searching for something else to wear. However the mirror that made out one side of the cupboard showed you that Jenos‘ shirt had several blood stains on it. You instantly got up and walked towards him, a more than worried expression covering your face. „Jeno, oh my god that … That looks horrible, someone needs to take care of that.“

Jeno held a new hoodie in his hand, his arms trying to cover his chest in defense. „No, Y/N, I’m fine, I swear- “

„Jeno no, don’t lie. Look at that, that’s fresh blood. What the hell happened?“ You stood in the middle of the room, hands fiddling nervously.

Jeno just shook his head in denial, not sure where he should lay his eyes on. „Y/N, really.“ He took a step into your direction and took your shaking hands in his. „I’m fine.“ His eyes found yours and fixated you, calmed you down. They were like a deep hole you fell into, like one of the rare nights where you sat on the rooftop and looked up into the night sky with a thousand stars shining down.

„Jeno, please.“, you begged in a desperate tone. „I won’t leave before you go to the hospital to let those check. Or at least let me look at them please. I know how to do that, my younger brother constantly needs someone to tend to his wounds.“

Jeno sighed, taking his hands down and letting yours go. „You really won’t give up, will you?“, he then chuckled, looking into the distance. „Okay, you do it then. I don’t have time for the hospital.“

~

Much to your relief Jeno just rolled up his shirt instead of completely taking it off. However, the deep cut totally distracted you from the fact that Jeno was leaning half-naked in front of you.

You just constantly shook your head and murmured words of disbelief as you treated the wound. Jeno just flinched a few times, not saying a word the whole time. His head was leaned back the whole time and his eyes were closed, his hands resting crossed on his chest. You were almost sure he had fallen asleep and were about to leave, until he called you back. „Wait, please.“

When you turned around you saw that Jeno was looking at you with his head tilted in your direction and just one eye opened. „You forgot about math.“

You almost bursted out laughing at this normal question. „Okay.“, you nodded, sitting down on the desk chair, taking the notes out of your bag. You started talking about the subject matter while looking on your notes, but Jeno stretched out a hand and touched your knee. Surprised at the sudden touch you stopped, looking at him. There was a small smile on Jenos lips as he looked at you. „How can you tell me about this without me looking at the notes? Come closer, I won’t bite. Promise.“ Then he laughed for an unknown reason and you hesitantly rolled closer to the bed. So close that he felt your breath on his cheek and it would have been easy for yu to just lean on his shoulder while both of your hands were holding onto the notes.

It was actually quite realxing talking to him like that, even though you occasionally felt his gaze burn on your skin and his breath on your cheek and his hand that brushed yours - But then you were through with your notes and you left them on his totally overfilled desk before you got up to head home.

Jeno stood up as you did, watching your every move. „Thanks.“

„Hm?“

„Thank you. Thanks for not asking quastions and for treating the wound and explaining math to me, it helped me a lot. I mean it.“ His eyes told you the truth for once, but you were sure he was hiding a lot more in them. He just wasn’t willing to talk now.

You nodded slowly, a smile creeping up on your face. „No problem. It was a pleasure.“

Jeno laughed and handed you your bag, stepping a little closer to you. „Don’t forget that.“, he murmured. You suddenly realized how close he was and everything in your body began to tingle and burn in a sensational way you’ve never felt before. The excitement rushed through your whole body, pumping adrenaline into your veins in high expectation of what was about to happen. You felt your lips brush his and closed your eyes because the feeling was just way too good to be real, but your lips didn’t touch his again.

Jeno pulled back quickly, running his hands through his hair in a chaotic and confused manner. „I’m – I’m so sorry, Y/N, I just really can’t do this. Not now. Please believe me when I say that this is for your own good. I really like you it’s just that … Not at this time, okay? It’s better if you leave now. Again, I’m so sorry Y/N.“ And with that your turned and left, paralyzed by what just happened.

~

On the subway home you got a message in the groupchat of your friends – one of them had shared a link to an online article on ‚Spiderman – The man who saves our city?‘

With a raised eyebrow you leaned your head against the window and opened the article, suddenly curious as to what it’s about.

Apparently Spiderman was a superhero who swung through the city with something that remdinded people of spiderwebs. It was also his suit who resembled this feature. On a picture that was taken by the journalist who wrote this article you saw someone swinging from one building to the other on an almost invisible string. The suit he wore was completely blue and red and the mask covered his entire face, not giving a glimpse of the person wearing it. According to the article Spiderman supports the police by saving women from sexual assaults as well as he helped catch criminals. You smiled a little as you finished reading, thinking that someone finally heard your calls for some action and adventure.

You got off the sub and walked upstairs just to realize that it was already pretty dark out. Quitely cursing you thought of the fastest way home, which led you through several narrow alleys. You sighed in defeat as you started to walk home quickly. Even if there now was a  superhero in this city, you still were sure he couldn’t look over everyone every single minute.

A reliefed sigh escaped your lips as you arrived in the last dark alley without any incidents. You actually liked the darkness, but you preferred it when you were at home, sitting in front you window rather than walking through narrow streets.

You were just about to turn right when suddenly two men in their late twenties appeared right in front of you, slowly walking up to you. You gulped, stumbling backwards as you were hastily searching for something sharp in your bag. You thought that you needed at least something to defend yourself with. Unfortunately though, you couldn’t find anything.

„Hey sweetie.“ „Want some fun?“

You began to shake uncontrollablyas you felt as helpless as never before. A whimper left your mouth as one of them pushed you against the wall and laughed. Both of them held your trapped between them and the wall as they held your wrists so tight that it hurt. One of them laughed in your ear and you could smell a wave of alcohol that came from his mouth.

„Hey, what’s wrong with you guys?“

A voice from behind them suddenly caught their attention as they turned around. All you could see was someone standing there, clothed in something red and blue.

„Don’t have anything better to do than harass innocent girls, or what?“ The guy continued to mock them, earning unpleased growls from both men. They finally let go of your hands, but still took your view of your savior.

„Who are you?“, one of them asked, voice lurring from alcohol.

„Me? Oh, no one special. I’m who they call the Spiderman.“

You instantly felt relief in your body as you raised your eyebrows to see more. Just a second after both men gave weird noises from them as their hands were stuck to the wall with something that looked like spiderwebs. Spiderman motioned for you to walk to him and so you did, stumbling over the mens feet. Then you saw that their mouths were covered with the spiderwebs as well and you had to smile a little.

For a moment you just stood there in shock of what had just happened – or what almost could have happened.

„Hey are you … are you alright?“ Spiderman suddenly turned to you, waving one of his hands in front of your face.

You nodded slowly. „Yes, I guess so. Thank you, really. So much.“ You tried to give him a smile.

„It’s my job to save beautiful girls like you.“, Spiderman said, bowing. You blushed, not sure how to show him how grateful you where.

„Thanks, but seriously … I …“, overwhelmed by your feelings you quickly wrapped your arms around the superhero, mumbling a „Thank you“ into his chest, before quickly turning around and walking home, too shy to turn around again.

But Spiderman stayed there for a while before making sure that you got home safely, following your every move from the rooftops of NYC.

~

Your mom decided that it would be best for you to say home the next day after your experience. Not that you’d mind, though. A day off seemed to be exactly what you needed after everything that happened the day before at Jenos‘.

In the evening you sat at your desk, trying to concentrate on writing an essay for school. However, the words didn’t want to flow like they usually do, so you were welcoming everything that gave you an excuse for not writing. For example your friends who wouldn’t want to shut up about the fact that you met Spiderman and he literally saved you from sexual assault. Or the knocking on your window that almost made you drop your phone by accident.

You got up, checking what it was. As you opened your window and sat on the window-sill you saw how someone bent down to pick up new stones. „Hello?“

„Y/N!“

„Jeno? What are you doing here?“, you whisper-shouted at him, leaning far out the window.

„I was worried because you weren’t in school today. I also brought Pizza and Ice Cream and math homework.“ Jeno held up a basket, in which the said foods were placed in.

You giggled, hiding your face behind one hand. „I’ll open the front door for you, just wait a minute.“

„No! There’s no need for that.“, he explained, before grinning and then climbing up the house, using pipes and and the balcony as support. And before you could even blink, he stood right in front of you, still smiling.

„How did you do that?“, you said, still in utter shock of what he just did.

„Just like that.“, he chuckled and then shrugged, placing the basket on your desk. „Can we … Can we talk?“ The dark blue hoodie he wore was a big contrast to his pale skin and the healing red wounds on his handsome face.

„Of course Jeno. You even brought food.“, you smiled as you sat down on your bed.

„Maybe not here. Is there a way to get up on the roof of this building?“, he asked, looking around your room.

„Yeah sure, but I won’t climb the facade if that’s alright.“

~

It was a relatively lukewarm night for the fact that it was october. You both sat on a picnic blanket as you were munching on the pizza and later on the ice cream – you wondered how Jeno got both of it in your favorite type/flavor.

Turns out Jeno actually wanted to talk not only about math but also the happenings of the night before. After every tiny piece of Pizza and every scoop of Ice cream were exterminated, Jeno walked up to the railing and leaned against it, watching how the night slowly lay across the city. After a moment you followed him as he held his hand out for you to take. He pulled your forwards with so much power that you almost fell over. However he managed to prevent that.

„Sorry. Sometimes I have trouble controlling my strength.“, he quitely confessed.

„Oh really?“, you asked a little too high-pitched as your heart was still beating in your throat from all the adrenaline.

He just chuckled and then shook his head, making his fluffy hair float around for a second. You giggled and then everything got silent for a few minutes as you both enjoyed the night view of New York.

„This is beautiful.“, you then murmured, mesmerized by the beauty.

„Indeed. I love New York at dawn so much. I try to watch the sunset as often as I can.“, he agreed, looking over at you with that look in his eyes that had you freeze on the spot.

After that the conversation turned and you kind of talked about everything and nothing at the same time, laughing about stupid jokes and stories and then talking about your wishes and hopes for the future.

„Now tell me … Why were you not in school today? Were you not feeling well?“

You sighed, brushing a hand through your hair. „Well, kinda. My mom thought it would be best for me to stay home for a day after yesterday I almost got into a sexual harassment.“ When Jeno immediately turned his head to you, you shook yours. „No need to worry, a superhero called Spiderman had my back and saved me from anything bad that could have happened.“ A small smile formed on your lips at the memory of the young man in a red and blue suit.

Jeno laughed. „Spiderman? Who’s that? Sounds ridiculous, like a wannabe.“

„No! No no! He’s really cool! And he has those … strings that are like spiderwebs and … Wait, I’ll show you an article on my phone.“ You turned to get it as it was still laying on the blanket, but before you got even close to it, Jeno turned around and you felt something sticking on your back before you got twirled through the air and landed in Jenos arms, who just grinned widely. With widened eyes you looked down just to see one of these strings hanging on your body – Jeno had pulled you towards him with it.

„It … I …“, you stuttered as realization began to hit you. „Oh my god, it’s you! You are Spiderman! You are the guy with the spiderwebs and the suit!“, you laughed, feeling dumb and oblivious that you didn’t realize it before. „And all the wounds and bruises and scratches that -“

Jeno cut you off by laughing himself and then pressing his lips to yours, first a little powerful but then he got gentle and wrapped one of his arms around your waist as the other lovingly caressed your cheek. You stayed like that for a while, both smiling into the kiss at times, melting in each others arms.

Then you heard a rustling and just seconds later the police radio Jeno had went off and announced something about a fugutive prisoner.

„I’m so sorry, Y/N, really. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.“, he apologized a million times as he slowly let go of you and put on the mask you’ve seen before. „I really am, Y/N, please believe me.“ His voice was now more muffled but you could still recognize it. You sighed a little desperate before leaning in once more to place a small kiss on his fabric covered cheek. „Good luck with saving the city, Jeno Lee.“

And then he jumped over the railing into the City Lights and all you could see was his silhouette swinging through the busy streets of Queens as the darkness lingered over the city.

@ap-trash-compactor replied:

1/7 I wanna preface this by saying I agree with everything you’re saying here but I think there’s another layer to how Raffa’s story functions both textually and meta-textually, and to what it illustrates about how many people in the Galaxy /might/ perceive the Jedi, which I personally haven’t seen addressed yet. Sorry in advance if this is something you’ve heard/read/discussed ten million times already, but... 2/7 If you took Raffa’s story out of Star Wars and put it into a contemporary drama, changed the word “Jedi” to the word “police,” and made the particulars about a high-speed car chase? I think it would sound pretty believable. And I think this illustrates something Palpatine does through the mechanism of the Clone Wars to make the position of the Jedi especially vulnerable or precarious wrt to public opinion. 3/7 Even if every single Jedi engages w the power and authority of their military or police role only in the best intentioned, most good-faith way imaginable (which the Umbara arc tells us doesn’t always happen), any time you are in a role where you, even have without wanting or intending to, exercise the power of life and death other lives, you will cause pain and be a target for resentment. Someone will lose someone, and be angry. 4/7 No matter how good or how well-intentioned or how compassionate they are, during the Clone Wars the Jedi are forced into the role of a state authority exercising the power of life and death. They are not only a cultural minority during the Clone Wars. They are also a branch of the state, and in that role they sometimes either kill people, or are involved in events where people die and where, no matter their intentions, they are the face of the state and the voice of authority. 5/7 Many of the military and police actions shown in different episodes of this series leave destruction in their wake. The Jedi’s participation is barely by choice and almost never by preference— but if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your parents just died, the distinction probably does not matter much. I think this is a corner Palpatine absolutely wanted to paint the Jedi into, because it absolutely serves his goals. 6/7 There are not many Jedi during the Clone Wars. Certainly there are not many compared to the problems they are trying to fix. I have no doubt Luminara tried her best, wanted a different outcome, and gave Raffa all the comfort she had the time and the opportunity to give... But if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your only direct experience of the Jedi is like the one Raffa describes? You’re probably primed to consume all of Palpatine’s worst lies. 7/7 If you’re Palpatine, making the Jedi rush from violent crisis to violent crisis doesn’t just distract them from the fact that you’re a Sith Lord — it also makes the Jedi into the face of a lot of negative, hurtful interactions with the state, which is going to impact the way people see them.

I think you and I are very much on the same page!  I have discussed this before (the public’s turning on the Jedi), but I’m always down for discussing it again!  Especially when I love pretty much allllll of this. If you’re Palpatine, making the Jedi rush from violent crisis to violent crisis doesn’t just distract them from the fact that you’re a Sith Lord — it also makes the Jedi into the face of a lot of negative, hurtful interactions with the state, which is going to impact the way people see them. You are spot on with your summation, to the point it’s almost hard for me to respond with anything because I feel like all I can do is bang my fist on the table and go, “Yes!  This is what I’ve been talking about!”  Though, of course, there is a lot going on here that’s making it complicated. This post that you’re responding to is focused more specifically on the theme of unreliable narrators + the close associations this season has had with Revenge of the Sith (the moments that make us sit up and go, “Oh, that’s foreshadowing for stuff in ROTS!” like Padme’s pregnancy, Anakin’s advice to Rex, etc.), but there’s also what you’re talking about here--that it’s been a long-running theme in the GFFA that public sentiment turned against the Jedi and that the causes of that are fascinating. I said a bunch of times that Rafa’s hurt in this episode is valid, that there’s room for both the Jedi acting with honorable intentions and that people don’t trust them, don’t draw comfort from them, that these things are not mutually exclusive and you’re hitting on exactly why--because they were put into a situation where, if they’re not 100% perfect, then they’re going to fall off the pedestal they’ve been put onto.  That any flaw they have will then get magnified a hundred times. Luminara seems to have made a point to go back and try to talk to Rafa, to tell her a phrase that is narratively meaningful within Star Wars on a meta level, like, that says to me that she has really good intentions!  But that Rafa doesn’t draw any comfort from it, as a non-Force sensitive and someone who probably is left to the Republic’s shitty welfare services (which isn’t the Jedi’s jurisdiction, they’re not social workers and we can’t expect them to be), doesn’t undercut Luminara’s presumed good intentions, just as Luminara’s presumed good intentions don’t undercut Rafa’s hurt. And that it’s understandable--because, as the Maul arc in season 5 says, the Jedi aren’t doing the things that they used to do, that crime is flourishing because they’re being so busy with this war they’ve been drafted into.  Even Star Wars: Propaganda makes it clear that public sentiment turned against the Jedi because of a cultural absence, rather than anything they actively did. This is all by design from Palpatine, that he’s keeping them so busy putting out tire fires on Ryloth (who were being slaughtered by the Separatists), on Mon Calamari (who were being enslaved by the Separatists), on Kiros (who were being kidnapped and taken into the resumed Zygerrian slave empire), that they don’t have time to do the things they used to, like take care of a lot of the criminal elements or the outreach programs that we see hinted at in the supplementary material. The Jedi had to make a choice between fighting in a war where entire worlds were being enslaved, that there were only so many of them and they were dying, that they died in droves on Geonosis in Attack of the Clones and they’re dying every day in the war, that they were literally one out of six billion in the galaxy at their height, and that they had a million expectations placed on them.  They have very little political capital/power, yet they’re expected to solve all the problems in ways that will last.  They’re expected to police the Underworld, but also not police the Underworld because then they’re restricting people.  They’re expected to be social workers.  They’re expected to fight and die in a war that the public itself refuses to stand up in.  And when they don’t live up to those impossible perfections, they’re torn down. This is not to set aside that of course there are instances of people like Trace and Rafa, where the destruction wreaked by chasing down someone like Ziro is going to sometimes cause people to get hurt and, honestly, I don’t feel like Rafa really blamed Luminara for that, given the acknowledgement of the crowded platform she was trying to avoid.  But if she had?  That, too, would have been reasonable and understandable!  That it doesn’t matter if the Jedi were doing literally everything they could, that doesn’t mean there’s not also room for Rafa’s hurt.  And that, even if I think there was absolutely nothing that Luminara could say that would have given Rafa comfort, that doesn’t make Rafa’s hurt/viewpoint any less empathizable. My blog tends to focus on the Jedi side of things because those are the characters I’m interested in, not because they’re the only element that matters. In the meta we’re responding to, a lot of the focus is on Luminara and the Jedi because that’s my jam, that’s the part I thrive on, but we’re definitely in agreement that Rafa’s feelings are not wrong and it’s not hard to see where they come from! I do take issue with the idea of--whether it’s true or not, we can all argue about it all day long, but it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not--that if the Jedi are remote and distant from the galaxy, that that narratively is approved of how they then “kind of brought their downfall (aka, violent genocide) on themselves”.  That’s something I’ve seen skirted around in commentary from the creators and I’m wary of it leaking into the narrative in a more substantial way.  But that’s an entirely separate issue from the fact that anti-Jedi sentiments exist in the narrative and that they led to the Jedi Purge/Jedi genocide. As part of the propaganda and manipulations Palpatine did, yes, absolutely, that is one of the most fascinating things!  And that doesn’t mean that there’s not validity to those feelings, even if they’re rooted in propaganda and manipulation! But that, just as there’s room for Rafa’s hurt despite Luminara’s intentions, there’s room for the Jedi’s good intentions despite the public’s hurt and/or mistrust. My thing is that I tend to look at why the Jedi act the way they do and I usually come away with empathy for how they got into the situations they did.  Like, take their alignment with the Republic, which was an organization with corruption down to the roots by the time of the Twilight of the Republic, that that association absolutely led to their downfall/genocide.  But what else could they do?  Being part of the Republic in that way allowed them to actually help people, to have negotiating power, to form treaties that would be honored even when they were no longer on a given planet.  If they weren’t under the jurisdiction of the Senate, they could not have helped as many people as they did, especially because how would they even be able to afford starship fuel or housing costs?  Would they charge people for their services?  That’s a disaster waiting to happen! There’s room for both “the best option for the Jedi was to be part of the Republic and try to improve the system from the inside, which is what they did” AND “the being part of the Republic is what ultimately fucked them”, those things are both true! but if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your parents just died, the distinction probably does not matter much. I think this is a corner Palpatine absolutely wanted to paint the Jedi into, because it absolutely serves his goals. Spot on!  I have fun looking at what Luminara’s intentions likely were and what the context of the structure of the show entails, that Rafa’s character doesn’t have to be a reliable narrator to be valuable (and I say this as someone who actually really loves the unreliable narrators of SW, which honestly is almost literally every single character, very few are ones you can take at face value without seeing the circumstances for yourself), but to Rafa it doesn’t really matter what Luminara did or didn’t say, because that’s not what she was looking for or what she got out of that conversation.  I can’t say I would act differently in her position! And that’s exactly what Palpatine did.  He pulled the Jedi in so many different directions, made them responsible for things that literally no group could possibly have survived with public sentiment intact, and even if the Jedi had been literally perfect (which they weren’t), it wouldn’t have mattered, given that the entire point of the prequels is that you gotta choose between Shitty Option A and Shitty Option B. It’s the galaxy’s worst ever version of, “Which would you rather?” except its real and you have to play the game, because not playing gets you fucked over even faster, like it did with Mandalore.

drafts... // yjh

to start with: hi everyone again 💕 you can probably tell by the title but sometimes I can’t write shit so I have a bunch of wips/horrible writings that I’ll never finish or just straight up hate -which means I’ll just post them so they can rot away and I never have to look at them again(and no they are not proofread) 🙂

D I S C O N T I N U E D

yoon jeonghan x matchmaker!reader

genre: fluff, humor, angst, strangers-to-lovers?

warnings: cursing

wc: 1.9k

summary: yoon jeonghan- your toughest matchmaking customer yet. flash forward thirteen dates and still insatiable. your only choice is to further investigate the reason behind all his failed attempts....but maybe it’s because he only wants you?

“How was your last date?”

He leans back with a bored sigh. “Uninteresting. She looked like her face was gonna melt with all that makeup on.”

And as much as you were starting to ‘dislike’ his presence here, yoon jeonghan was still your client and a fucking funny one at that.

You press your lips to prevent the laughter and it doesn’t go unnoticed. Neither does the shake of your head to collect your thoughts.

If there was anyone else in the room, literally anyone, they would’ve known exactly who jeonghan wanted really to go on a date with. (Hint hint: actually- no. you don’t even need one.)

“Well, i know she wasn’t the best choice, but we’re running out of options.” You hated forfeiting, but this guy was truly giving a run for your money.

“Are there other choices? Anyone?”

You rub your temple in frustration, scrolling through the options of contenders.

Honestly, you had no clue why he was constantly coming back to your office.

If you’re just gonna reject and complain about every girl, then why are you still here?

But you are indeed a professional- so the only thing you do is smile that polite worker smile and say, “Okay then. There’s another available person that’s willing to go out. Should we try one more time?”

The look on jeonghan’s face is unreadable. It almost makes you nervous. Does he.... does he not want to-?

“Okay,” he simply states.

When he gets up to leave, your eyebrows furrow. But you didn’t have the time to dwell on his strange action when his voice interrupts your further thoughts.

“Just text me the details. I’ll see you soon.”

“Wait-! You don’t even know anything about them....” your voice falters.

After a solid five minutes of making sure he was truly gone, you whip out your phone, furiously typing for the familiar contact on the screen.

“...yes?”

“Josh, I’m fucking quitting my job and moving to Alaska.”

There’s a pause.

“Is it that one guy again?? Jungle juice or whatever?”

“..... his name isn’t even hard to pronounce, and yes. More than 13 dates and jeonghan hasn’t found a single match. You know how stubborn I am but maybe it’s time to give up. I mean, is he just extremely picky or what?? I don’t get it.”

You spin circles in your chair, a perfect representation of how your mind felt.

“I don’t know y/n... could the problem might not be his dates but more him instead?”

The chair stops. “Him? What do you mean?”

The voice on the other line suddenly gets quieter. “I dunno, maybe there’s something wrong with junkyard and that’s why no one wants to date him?

The urge to correct him again is strong but the newfound thought distracts you.

“Huh.... Joshua, you might be onto something. I’ve never had problems with my clients being straight up horrible at dating though. But then again, thirteen failed dates and not a single success?”

You stare at the twirling ceiling. “But he must really want to find love, why else would he keep asking for my services?”  

Joshua’s voice turns suspicious. “You’re right... why else would he keep coming back to you?”

You snap your fingers, the perfect plan in mind. “I’m a genius, josh. I’ll take him out to really see what’s been happening on all the dates. Then we can figure out the problem.”

“So... you’re saying you’re gonna ask him out on a date to see what he’s been doing wrong on his other dates?”

The chair squeaks. “Oh. Uh. I guess so?”

“Okay.... just be careful. See you later.” There’s a certain edge to his voice that you notice.

After the call ends with a beep, you stare at the black phone screen.

Did josh mean something when he said that?

Shrugging it off,  you text jeonghan a few minutes later, surprised when he responds almost immediately.

You hesitantly tell him the reason for the so-called “date”, not expecting him to agree so quickly.

“Jeonghan, I-“ you stop and instead pass him as many tissues as you can, purposely avoiding looking at him and his very much see through shirt.

After a tense silence of just cleaning up, you mutter, “Did you really not wear anything underneath?”

He laughs. “So you were looking?”

“Haha, funny. And no. But when a mad person throws a drink at your white shirt, what do you expect?”

You soften, helping him with all the used wet napkins. You admire his strength to stay calm and not get angry in a situation like this.

“Are you really okay though? Do you have a jacket or anything to cover up with?”

He shakes his head.  

Coughing, you reach behind you, giving jeonghan a sheepish look.

“Well, I brought mine?”

Once you reach your car, you finally bring up what’s been buried in the back of your brain for quite a while, actually.

“Jeonghan.”

He looks at you curiously, your jacket still draped around him.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

You exhale, trying your best to seem unaffected and upbeat.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t think I can help you anymore.”

His heart stops. 

“...what did you say?”

“I think we should stop the whole matchmaking stuff, whatever this is. It’s not working out, which was obviously proven today. How many dates has it been? Why waste your time when we both know that it’s most likely not going to lead to anything?”

You smile, but it looks more like a grimace. “I suggest you find someone else to assist you if you’re that desperate for love. Once again, I’m sorry.”

Even with the feeling of defeat making you sink inside lower and lower, there was just simply nothing else you could do.

And jeonghan watches as you drive off, leaving him alone in the parking lot. The jacket -no, your jacket still wrapped around him, but suddenly it feels a lot colder than before.

But when you thought jeonghan finally left your life for good, he shows up once again, this time at your house.

What’s even worse is that it’s late at night and pouring outside. And you were stuck at home in possible the most embarrassing and ratty clothes to be caught wearing.

“What the hell jeonghan? What are you doing here?”

You examine his soaked body, aghast.

“I came to see you. And return your jacket, but mostly to see you.”

“Did you walk in the rain or something? Go back home. It’s so late -you must be crazy.

“No.”

His hard-set expression only makes you more frustrated.

“Listen. If you’re looking for more help, I can’t do anything. You- yoon jeonghan- are my hardest customer. I really don’t know what you want from me. I’ve tried everything and nothing’s worked.”

You can tell he’s getting increasingly annoyed, eyebrows furrowing and teeth gritting.

That causes you to sigh, arms crossing and uncrossing.

“I’m sorry. You’re just a case I can’t help. It-”

“The case isn’t about me. The case is that I’m in love with you.”

His voice is strained and controlled, like he’s barely able to hold it back.

.....huh?

You stare at each other for a solid minute.

Then comes the uncomfortable feeling of his eyes boring into yours and you feel the urge to close the door.

Unfortunately, that’s the one time your body actually listens to your brain and you swing the door shut in his face.

Even more unfortunately, it takes a minute for you to come back to your senses and let out a horrified, muffled scream.

Your hands scramble to reopen the door again.

There’s no one in sight, only the rain still coming down strong.

“Jeonghan?” you call out tentatively.

You walk out under the safety of your front porch, glancing for any sign of him.

After a couple more seconds of no results, you sigh and turn around to go back inside-

“Oh my god jeonghan.” He was to the side of your door, barely out of your peripheral view.

Jeonghan looks up from his small huddled position on the ground.

The sight of him looking like an abandoned puppy makes your heart squeeze.

Coughing, you attempt to smile feebly.

“I’m so sorry. Please come inside? It’s raining hard and you’re very much wet.”

Luckily he doesn’t protest much and follows you in. You force him to take a shower while you dry his clothes. There was some spare clothes found that might possibly fit him? It was better than nothing. You really did not want to see nothing. you don’t think you could handle that.

It all makes sense. Why he kept coming back to you. Why he was so eager to go out on that fake date with you, even if it was only an experiment.

But that’s not the real question. The real question is, how did you feel?

When the bathroom door finally opens, you start from your anxious seat on the couch.

But when he sits next to you, you slowly feel a wave of anger course through your body-no matter how good he looked.

“Are you stupid?”

His effort to dry his hair with the towel stops with your words.

He only stares at you.

You stand up, snatching the towel from jeonghan and beginning to dry his hair for him.

Quite forcefully, he notes.

Jeonghan heats up from your touch, noticeably getting softer and gentler. On the other hand, you were very much annoyed while also focusing on drying his hair to your best ability.

“Who the hell just goes in the rain like that? And shows up at someone else’s house without notice? And then proceeds to confess their love for them?”

Jeonghan says nothing. Eventually, you finish drying his hair and throw the towel to the side.

“How long?” Your voice is tight, attempting to hold back the emotions. But the look in your eyes is different-desperate, curious. You really just want to know.

This. This isnt what you expected. Your job is to find someone perfect for him, and that someone couldn’t possibly be you yourself, right?

Out of all the people in the world, jeonghan only wants you. That one thought is enough to make you shiver.

For the first in a while, jeonghan speaks up. “Since the first time we met.”

“Stop lying. I know for a fact you don’t give a shit about love at first sight.”

He laughs. “That’s why I like you. You get me, my jokes, and pranks. Basically everything I say and do. Ah, and it was like after three failed dates or whatever. What can I say, I really liked seeing your face after all those boring dates.”

It’s hard for you to hold back a smile.

“Alright, since I believe you this time, I guess I’ll  accept your confession.”

“Wait, what? You like me back?”

“Well,” your voice cracks and you shoot him a crooked grin. “I don’t know, but we can always try?”

He stifles a laugh at your obvious attempt to hide your shyness, looking back at you with a glint in his eyes.

“Okay. Bet.”

Your head tilts in confusion.

“I bet I can get you to fall in love with me in one week,” he says, trademark smirk pasted on his face.

And jeonghan already knows -you’re not one to back down to challenges.

“Oh, it’s on, lover boy.”

a/n: EWWW ALSKJFASL anyways- sorry for typos and yes there are so many random cuts and scenes (ones i liked and didnt want to delete) that probably make no sense since my unproductive ass doesn’t want to rewrite the whole story-like there is nothing going on with this aHA that’s all :) 

okay so i had initially planned to post this the week before darryl’s anchor arc started but i got bored halfway through and it’s been rotting in my drafts for like 3 weeks now but whatever, doin it now. for father’s day or whatever. 

paeden being frank theory/ narrative justification under the cut bc oops i accidentally very long meta’d again

i think paeden is probably frank wilson. 

anthony has been making it abundantly clear that there’s some connection there, and adding to that the fact that he went dead silent when beth brought up this theory in the TD a few weeks ago? i think it’s pretty much a done deal. 

whatever willy’s actual endgame is here (and i still for the life of me can’t figure out what that endgame is), the wilsons are not central to it, but they are important. we know that much from all the “spare” talk that poor grant overheard during his time at castle ravenloft. so, when frank wouldn’t go along with willy’s plans, he couldn’t just kill him like he would anybody else. he needed him alive, but out of the way and not a threat. so, by wiping his memory and transforming him into a weak, tiny child and abandoning him to a fighting ring, he accomplished the following:

punishing frank for daring to stand up to him/his plans

making an example of him, which would also keep bill and barry in line

wiping his memory of every trace of his own son, which would render his daddy magic useless

changing his appearance, so even if he did end up encounterting his son by chance, darryl wouldn’t know him

it’s definitely a solid plan on willy’s part, and while the theory is certainly interesting, it never really sat super well with me in terms of narrative. like, it’s a cool twist, but what’s the point? why can’t paeden just be some loveable orphan the group happened upon by chance? and will the reveal of his true identity mean we lose him? 

and that’s where this leg of my theory comes in. 

i think that darryl is going to, at some point, put two and two together and realize that paeden is some magically de-aged and amnesiac version of his father. his father, who died when darryl was young. his father, who he still sees as perfect, because he was gone too soon for darryl to ever take him off the pedestal we place our parents on when we’re kids. his father, who he’s been longing to see ever since he found out about the o-dads’ existence in this world. 

darryl’s whole arc has been about him trying to live up to the idealized image of his own father, rather than just being the dad that grant needs. and i think a huge part of his reluctance to have an actual, real conversation with grant has been because he’s waiting for “the right time” to have it. 

and yeah, back in for knights when they literally had a 24-hour ticking clock in which everyone was trying to murder them, and after which grant would die and the skin eating would happen and such... like, okay, i’ll give him that. the timing wasn’t great. 

but after they got him back from the o-dads, after they saw how badly affected he was emotionally by everything that had happened... darryl kept putting it off. he kept waiting for “the right time,” even though i think he knew full well there was never going to be a right time in faerun with all the crazy shit going on. and to prove that point, i mean. ron didn’t wait for “the right time” to have a conversation with terry and apologize for yoshiing him into the firepit. he made time, because he knew it was important, and he knew it wasnt healthy or helpful to let emotions like that stew. 

but darryl still waited. and he’s still waiting, in a manner of speaking, even after the attempted locker room convo. waiting for the “right time,” waiting for grant to be ready to open up to him. and while i think he genuinely means it when he says he’s waiting for those things... i think, deep down, what he’s really waiting for is his dad.

ever since the other o-dads showed up, he’s been desperate to see frank, to ask him for advice. in his mind, frank is perfect and will know exactly what to do, know exactly the magic words that he should say to grant to make all his problems go away. hell, he probably even thinks that frank will know what to say to make all darryl’s problems go away. 

what he needs to figure out, and what he hopefully will figure out, is that there are no magic words that will instantly heal a deeply traumatized kid like grant. and that even if there were, frank wouldn’t have them, because he doesn’t even know grant, and more importantly, he isn’t perfect bc there’s no such thing as a perfect father. 

so what the fuck does all this have to do with paeden? good question. 

i have zero clue abt the nitty gritty here, but somewhere along the line, i think darryl is going to come to the realization that paeden is frank, and be faced with the choice between getting his dad back and the answers he thinks he needs, and losing paeden forever. and i think that choice will help him come to the realization that he can’t hold onto the memory of his father forever. that there’s no magical help or right answers, that he’s just going to have to muddle through and make mistakes and be open and honest and vulnerable with grant, and figure stuff out with him as they go along. 

in terms of paeden, i hope darryl never even tells him who he truly is. i hope he can just be happy in the knowledge that his father is safe and happy in his new life. in the knowledge that frank, who never knew his father bc a fuckin eldritch monster ate him, now gets to live out a childhood with not one, but five entire dads who love him. 

paeden being frank is a cool twist, but i want it to mean something. and if that meaning can be a catalyst for darryl to give up on his desire to reunite with his “perfect, infallible” father, get some closure and really move on as the dad grant needs? then yeah, that’s pretty damn cool with me. 

unless i’m 100% off base with all of this in which case i assume whatever happens is also gonna be really cool bc anthony knows what he’s doing and has my full trust

Stray Cat Strut

Chapter 2

Reader x OT7

► Faerie!AU

Fluff, Comfort

Warnings: Mention of Death, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Faerie Mischevious Bullshit

↳ Summary: When your grandmother passes away, she leaves her countryside house in your name. The longer you stay, the harder and harder it becomes to explain away the odd happenings. What kind of secrets does this sleepy town hold? And why do the local animals act so strangely around you?…

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So maybe you should find a map to the hunting goods store. Or else, find someone to ask about it. Getting lost is one thing, but giving up is entirely out of the question. You can’t just leave the local wildlife to chew through your grandmother’s house. There are old signs posted up at every other road or so that indicate the direction of the local library, and it seems as good a place to start as any.

The town around you is so quiet, so peaceful, you find yourself understanding why granny decided to stay here as you walk. The roads aren’t perfect—some of the side walkways are narrow and made of stone—and some of the buildings look fit to fall apart, but there’s a charm in the air. A kind of comfortableness that you could seriously get used to. Clothes strung up to dry, hanging in the spaces between pastel-colored houses. Gardens overflowing with long grass and sweet flowers waving lazily. Windowsills crawling with ivy. The whole town seems to inhale with the breeze, warming itself in the sunlight.

You’re suddenly struck by familiarity at an intersection on your way to the library and you pause to read the sign, noting the street name. Ah. That’s why you recognize this place. Down this path to the right, through the foliage…it’s where your grandmother was married. For a few seconds, you hesitate, but eventually decide to take a short detour. After all, the library isn’t going anywhere.

The road goes from concrete to cobblestone to dirt beneath your feet as you walk forwards, noting the houses becoming fewer and fewer, the trees overhead becoming denser. The light dapples as it dances across your skin, the dead leaves curling over the edges of the path. It smells fresh, sweet, like green vegetation. You turn a corner past a particularly large tree and can just make out the bridge you’d seen in old photographs all your life. But as you get closer, your heart sinks. The weeds by the pond the tree cranes over are overgrown. The path uncared for. Moss devours the railings and eats away at the wood underneath, making it almost impossible to discern what colors it was once painted. You finally come to rest at the mouth of the bridge, looking over the edge, down at the murky water below forlornly. Even your reflection is hard to see. You turn back, straightening, and start faintly when you notice a figure standing there, just out of the reach of the shade from a nearby willow that bends its head to the water, lent a halo from the rays outlining his form. Somehow you must have missed his approach, but looking at him, you’re not sure how.

 He’s incredibly handsome. Tall, broad-shouldered, long-legged. A draft of wind sifts through the sunny sections of soft mocha hair that caress his face, almond-shaped eyes pensive as he watches the pond like someone in mourning. He’s entirely bewitching, even as he blinks slowly and turns to look at you. His lips are plump, the color of rose petals and just as delicately shaped. When he smiles bitterly, your heart breaks.

“Sad, isn’t it?” He says. He gestures around you with a hand, resuming his position leaning against the rail. His head shakes once, as if in disbelief, and he sighs. “I think so, too.”

“I’m sorry, I just…” You can’t think straight. It’s the first time you’ve ever been struck wordless by someone’s beauty. “I’ve seen old photos of this place. When it was taken care of.”

“There’s no one to take care of it,” he replies quickly. “No one left. It was beautiful once.”

“That’s a shame.”

The man nods.

“Does…” You begin, haltingly. “I mean, there’s gotta be someone who still cares? Back home, we had like a community fund..for…”

He shifts to regard you again, lips curling softly.

“For uh. Community projects.” The words are sticking in your throat, your mind fogging. The intensity of the way he listens to you so closely is unnerving. “Like…revivals and stuff.”

“That would be nice.” He replies. “But nobody comes up here anymore. The locals are afraid of it.”

“Afraid?”

“They think it’s haunted.”

“That’s ridiculous. It’s not haunted….is it?”

He stares at you, eyes widening. His lips part, as though to speak, but they smooth into a grin instead, creasing his eyes. Suddenly, he bends and starts to laugh. The sound is infectious, high-pitched and breathless, and you find yourself smiling along.

“Depends on your definition of ‘haunted’, I suppose,” he says finally, giggling. He cocks his head.

“My name is Seokjin.”

“Have you lived here long, Seokjin?”

“Just Jin. Please. I’ve lived here for a long while.” Jin’s gaze goes distant. “A very long while. It hurts my heart to see the place falling apart like this. It’s very important to me.”

 Your teeth worry the inside of your lip in the pause that follows, unsure whether you should say what you’re thinking. You can’t spend too much longer here—you still have to make it to the library and then back home before it gets dark.

“I’m new here, and I’m going someplace at the moment,” you explain, inwardly hoping he’s not secretly a murderer. “But my grandmother got married at this pond. She passed away not too long ago and I’m trying to clean her house out for now. It would mean a lot to me to see the pond clean, too--before I leave. If there was anything I could do to help…” You trail off, embarrassed.

The man watches you carefully, a smile pulling at his lips. As gentle as his voice is, as sweet his eyes, his stature doesn’t escape you. He looks strong.

“I-I, uh,” you begin again, the click in your head nearly audible, “I actually need help with the shed.”

“The shed?” he echoes.

“Yeah, there’s like, heavy stuff in it. I don’t think I can move it on my own. You know, you help me, I help you…? If that’s okay. I understand if not.”

Jin straightens.

“Let’s make a deal,” he says, eyes alight. “I will help you clean your grandmother’s shed if you’ll help me clean the pond. Our deal will be fulfilled when both tasks are done. Sound good?”

“Sounds good…yeah! Sounds good.” You nod.

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

He makes a tsk noise through his teeth, leaning back and curling his hands around the rail in front of him. For a second, you’re afraid you might have bartered with the wrong person, but he looks pleasantly, warmly pleased at your offer.

“Can we start tomorrow?” he asks, voice soft as silk. “Just meet me here?”

“I can do that.” Not like you’ve got somewhere else to go.

“Good. I’m so glad.” The young man in front of you looks like you’ve just added ten years to his lifespan, practically glowing as he grins with perfect teeth. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jin,” you reply. You turn away and make your way back to the main road. While you slowly return to civilization, your thoughts steadily turn inwards and you realize what you’ve just done. Who are you, making deals with strangers in strange towns?? The only excuse you can offer yourself is that he was so incredibly beautiful. And so sad. He seemed nice enough, though. Legitimately interested in cleaning the pond, if nothing else. You chastise yourself the whole way down to the library. Day two in this town and you probably just agreed to be murdered out in the middle of nowhere because you saw a pretty man. Shameful.

It’s impossible to deny that you want to see him again, though. And cleaning the place where she got married would have meant a lot to your grandmother, if she was here still. If she was watching. She won’t let you get murdered. You hope.

 As you turn the corner, past the intersection you originally turned down, the library rises from the horizon. It’s more welcoming than threatening even with its grand height, old stonework mixed with newer additions to keep the building stable and crawling with picturesque ivy. Absently, you slide your hand over the chipped mane of the stone lion that protects the entrance as you climb the stairs and step inside. It’s cool here, and designed with a touch that seems to meld modern and antique styles seamlessly. It smells like old books and wood polish—old, but well taken care of. Towards the back, twin staircases spiral, reaching for a circular window that casts an impressive amount of patterned light over the upper level. You have to resist the urge to take photos like some gawking tourist, and instead head for the section marked ‘Local’. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else around, the tall room silent as the grave. If anything, the quiet only helps you focus on the task at hand, browsing with a gentle hand through tour guides and maps of the surrounding areas.

There’s no staff, no music, nothing but you.

You’re too easily distracted by your thoughts and you end up getting frustrated by the sheer amount of maps. Comparing them against the version you have on your phone, there are always missing streets or roads that lead to nowhere—sections marked on the maps as incredibly important sightseeing destinations that aren’t even on the electronic version. Finally, you peel away from the local section, holding onto the one map you could find that seemed remotely useful, if still missing a few pieces of information. Just to the right of the doors is a wooden desk and ontop of it, a bell. You stride over and strike it, the peal ringing out clearly against the tall ceiling. At this point, you’re just hoping to catch a glimpse of literally any kind of living soul inside this building.

 “You’re back.”

You nearly jump out of your skin at the deep voice that instantly sounds from behind you.

When you turn around, you meet deep brown eyes set into a handsome face whose mild expression is difficult to read. A young man stands only about a foot away from you, having appeared seemingly out of nowhere with the absolute silence of his approach. Did you somehow miss him on your way in…? Hair dyed a lavender color, pushed back from his forehead, thick-framed glasses, comfortable-looking sweater—if there was ever a look that screamed ‘librarian’ any louder, you’d be hard-pressed to find it.

“I’m…what?”

He watches you past his glasses for a moment before his soft lips pull into a wry smile and his shoulders drop. “Sorry. I-I know it’s probably been a while. I…know your, um, your grandmother,” He gestures, awkwardly. “The house on the hill, right?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. That’s her,” you finally manage to reply. Damn it, he’s incredibly handsome, too. Should you hand him your credit card now or should you wait until you lose all of your good sense? “Yeah, um. She…y’know, she passed away, so I’m cleaning her house out.”

He blinks, his face falling.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. That must be…hard for you,” he mumbles, but there’s something new in his expression. Was he close to her…? The ensuing silence between you is mortally uncomfortable.

 “I-I’m looking for a map,” you stammer, holding up your hand. “Y’know, a recent one.”

“…You seem to have found one.” He points out, raising an eyebrow at the paper grasped in your fingers. “Anything more specific?”

“I need hunting goods. My phone says there’s a store just on the other side of the house, but when I tried to cut through the woods, I got lost.”

The man nods, slowly, thoughtfully. He looks to you and there’s a second of silence between you as you subtly try to figure out what exact shade of brown his soft eyes are. Flush travels up your cheeks as you’re struck with the realization that he’s waiting for you to elaborate. Humour suddenly flashes across his face, breaking the quiet, and he laughs sharply, leaning forwards.

“Directions for a hunting store?” he reiterates through a chuckle. “Kind of a weird first request. The map you’ve got there is the most recent we have. Just follow the main road through the forest.” He pauses. “What do you need it for, anyways?”

“There’s something chewing holes in my grandmother’s house.”

“Ah,” his eyebrows slide upwards, legitimately shocked. He waits, seemingly unsure if you’re serious, before continuing. “And you’re thinking…animals…?”

“Yeah. I already tried to set out a trap but it broke. Something put rocks in it.”

He hums. His head cocks to the side and he tsks through his teeth, pursing his lips and studying the ground as he crosses his arms. “An animal didn’t put rocks in it. I’m surprised you don’t know better.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you say ‘chewing holes’,” he asks instead of answering, “What exactly do you mean?”

“There’s a hole in the porch. It was filled with candy when I moved in.”

“And you…?”

You frown. “I…” you repeat slowly. “Took the candy out and filled the hole? I mean, not very well, but—“

“Mm. Yeah, that’ll do it. You need to put the sweets back.”

It’s your turn to wait, for him to admit to joking. He only looks to you and blinks slowly, patiently. There’s another heavy pause. As you stare at him, his shoulders rise in a shrug.

“You’re kidding me.”

“I’m not.”

“You want me to encourage animals boring into the house my dead grandmother lived in?” Your voice escalates as your brows crease, searching his visage for any sign of giving.

“It’s not an animal.”

“Oh my god.” Despair begins sinking in. Your mind swims with the thought of malicious children. “It’s kids. I can’t set traps. Oh, god, what if I accidentally hurt one?...”

He barks another laugh, his eyes scrunching, shoulders shaking.

“What??”

“It’s not children, either,” he says, still giggling.

Your frown only deepens. Is he making fun of you? “I don’t get it. What exactly are you suggesting?”

 His laughter subsides into a short chuckle. When his eyes meet yours again, there’s a strange light in them. “You don’t remember much, do you?”

You pull back, somewhat offended. “I was like five the last time I was here?”

He chuckles and pushes his glasses up further on the bridge of his nose with a dramatic air of a teacher getting ready for his least favorite class. “Okay. Alright. From the top, then. Have you heard of faeries?”

“Like fairy tales? Of course I’ve heard of them.”

“Almost. Okay, so most old towns have their own superstitions, right? We have our own kind of faerie. They’re called Keprys. And that’s what you’re dealing with.”

You stare at him incredulously, but he doesn’t look like he’s kidding. “You can’t be serious.”

“I can,” he retorts. “I bet there was something in the house that was really well taken-care of when you got here. Floors swept, cabinets dusted, something like that?”

You think of the dust-covered rooms. “No, not really.”

“Look for it. Whatever it is won’t be done now. Put the candy back, it’ll start up again. Your grandmother had an accord with a Kepry—sweets in exchange for some chore she couldn’t do or didn’t want to do.” He leans against the bookshelf and raises an eyebrow at you. “When you took the candy, you disrupted the agreement. When you put out the trap, you insulted him.”

“Him?”

He ignores you.

“If you leave it alone, or worse, get another trap, it’ll only go downhill from there. He’ll trash the house. If he’s in a good mood.”

Your eyes narrow, your lips pursing. “If this is some kind of local hazing, I’m not into it. I’m not convinced I’m staying, anyways; you’re wasting your time trying to spook me.”

“I swear, I’m being totally legitimate.” He raises his hands, palms facing outwards. “Put the candy back.”

You hesitate, watching him doubtfully. “Okay, smart guy. We’re in a library, so…show me a source. Where’s your books on capris?”

“Kepry.” He clarifies with a slow intonation. “K-e-p-r-y. There’s only one source.”

“If you say it’s you—“

“—But it’s already checked out.”

“Uh-huh.”

“To me.”

“To you??”

The man’s eyes flash and his grin returns.

“Tell you what,” He straightens. “I’ll loan you the book. But only if you bring me something of value.”

“I don’t have anything with me.”

He shrugs, pouting mockingly. Without a proper reply, he turns around and starts walking away.

“Why don’t you just give me the book? Isn’t this a library? You’re the librarian—it’s your job, isn’t it??” You call after him, incredulous at his sudden lack of manners.

“I answered your question and gave you free advice.” He spins smartly on his heel to disappear behind a bookcase across the way from you. “You’re in my debt, granddaughter of the lady on the hill.” His voice seems to echo after you from every direction. Strange, you wouldn’t consider the library as that acoustic-capable, at least not from where he was standing.

You huff, and go to follow him. “What do you mean debt—“ You pull up short as you round the corner.

He’s not there. There’s no sign of him behind the books. No sound of him anywhere.

“Hey!” You call out. No answer. The library has returned to its stifling silence. If he thinks you’re gonna waste a second playing hide and seek with him, he’s dead wrong. You stomp your foot and turn on a dime to leave, grumbling about librarians and faeries. ‘Keprys’. He had to have been kidding. Faeries aren’t real. Briefly, you think about the bird from the forest but easily shake it out of your head. You were panicking, lost in a foreign town and scared. Jet-lagged still, probably.

A car passes by the outside of the library as you exit and you’re actually surprised enough by its presence to stop and watch it go. It’s only about the second or third car you’ve seen since coming here. It’s going so slowly—the cobbles must be making the driver unsteady. You move to step behind it, your attention already drifting elsewhere, back to the house and the predicament of animals/not animals boring holes into it. Maybe you have some cash you can give him for the book on faeries anyways. Just for curiosity’s sake.

You’re almost home as you’re lost in thought trying to mentally count up how much money you have to give the librarian for the book. You can see the house now, up on its little hill, with the sparse cottages and small streets that surround it. It’s only just now starting to get late, and the threatening sunset casts a warm blush over everything, turns the shadows into a comfortable purple.

Across the street, not too far from where you are, your attention is claimed by a tiny dog. It’s a fluffy little thing, looking like a ball of soot with legs, black and brown all over. The fading sunlight catches its fur and lights embers in its outline, like a spotlight. You have to stifle a giggle at how business-like it seems, trotting along with such delicate little paws. It turns to survey its surroundings and you could mark the moment when it spots you, pausing with its fluff of a tail pointed skywards midway through a wag. Suddenly, it breaks into a run towards you. Head thrown back in excitement, yipping all the way. You start, but it means you no harm as it runs straight up to your legs and yaps loudly, dancing around your feet so intensely that its whole body actually leaves the ground for seconds at a time.

“Hello, hello!” You greet, delighted if a little surprised. It presses its head against your hand when you lean to pet it, barking and yipping. You oblige, running your fingers through incredibly soft fur, and its whole body stills. Its watery eyes blink slowly, as if savoring the touch. “Who do you belong to?”

It yips and bounces again, spinning in a tight circle, and you can’t help but laugh at the pure joy in the motion. You pet it a few more times, giggling at how eager it seems for affection. “Nobody ever loves you, huh?” You coo. “Poor baby.” After a while, you straighten, and it immediately starts barking again, rising in volume as you move to walk towards the house.

“I have to go home!” You chastise, reaching to stroke it again, but its pitiful noises only get louder. “I’ll see you later, puppy. I promise.”

It follows you up the hill, whimpering pathetically as you unlock the gate and walk inside. You look over your shoulder at it and it cries.

“Go home,” you encourage. “I’ll see you later.”

It sits down in front of the gate, looking at you with such a forlorn expression your heart breaks. You hope its okay, but it seems healthy enough; shiny eyes and coat, well-groomed. Eventually, it’ll go home, surely.

You turn back to the house, the garden catching your eye as you go. Looks like it needs some watering—maybe a little weeding here and there. Why haven’t you noticed since you’ve been here? Oh well. You guess there’s been other things more pressing in your mind. Like getting lost and meeting beautiful men. And the stray cat, can’t forget that. Oh, yeah. The sticks. Your hand flies up to the bag around your neck, rubbing at the remaining stick with a shocked realization. You forgot to look up what kind of wood it was. Maybe you’ll remember tomorrow? You can always ask the mysterious librarian or the man by the pond. He might know a thing or two about local plants. Better ask nice, forthcoming Jin about something like that instead of stingy, disappearing librarian man.

Oh.

You blink.

You never actually caught his name.

Your nose wrinkles as you frown, unlocking the front door and stepping inside. He’d probably charge you for that, too.

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I just read your tags on the home inspectors post about the Nightingale-being-a-ghost AU and i just wanted to ask if you have any plans for finishing it? Because when I read those tags I gasped out loud, it sounds like SUCH a good idea.

First of all I need to credit @stardust-rain​ who told me I should write this, er, several years ago now. I would like to finish it, and occasionally I go back and re-read the bits I’ve written and then get indignant that if I want the rest of it I have to finish it myself????, but I’m currently stuck on 1) a plot, but not TOO much of a plot, and 2) having written most of it pre-THT and Lesley subsequently featuring as an ambiguously terrible friend instead of an unambiguously terrible friend. I have to sort out which she should be. 

But, since you’re not the only person who’s asked me about this, have a scene:

The house was so totally un-renovated that the stairs at the end of the back hallway led down to a kitchen in the basement, literally belowstairs. It was a mild spring evening outside, and the building wasn’t too chilly as a whole, but as I descended it got colder and colder – you did expect that in basements, as the surrounding earth insulated the space from warming or cooling, but this was so cold I wished I’d been wearing a jumper as well as my coat. I was getting goosebumps. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, the lightbulb on them gave out entirely, and I was left with just my phone and the dim light coming down from the open door at the top. Which was – judging by the gradual reduction in light – slowly swinging shut.

I don’t believe in ghosts, but I’ve watched the odd horror movie in my time and I’m not immune to getting creeped out, so I fumbled out the mini-LED torch I kept on my keyring – nothing spectacular but good for finding keyholes in the dark. It illuminated an old-fashioned cast-iron stove – gas, not wood. It must’ve been there for at least sixty years. As I ran my torch around the room, trying to get a sense of the space, it ran across a person, standing maybe two meters away from me, on the other side of the wide wooden preparation table that took up the centre of the room. I flicked the torch back, but they were gone.

I’m not ashamed to admit I let out a bit of a yelp. It echoed dimly. There were no other sounds – no footsteps, no movement. Just my breathing.

“Hey,” I said out loud, “The owners have just asked me to take a look at this place, all right? I’m not here to bother you.”

It would be a bother and worse than that, of course, for any poor buggers who were squatting here, but I couldn’t do much about that, and unless there was a secret drug lab down here or something they were unlikely to do me any harm. And I doubted that. It’d been a while since I’d done any chemistry, but I was pretty sure it would smell a lot worse. Cannabis wouldn’t, but there’d be lights. My biggest problem either way would be if the police decided I was responsible for it, never mind that I’d never been here before today.

Nobody answered me, and there was no other noise, but it felt like it was getting colder and colder – there must be a draft down here. I wasn’t sure where from. The click of the door at the top of the stairs finally shutting, as the last sliver of light vanished, sounded like thunder. The draft felt, almost, like someone was breathing on my neck.

I made a judicious retreat up the stairs, which is to say I went so fast I tripped and shinned myself. When I reached the door at the top I was certain for a sickening moment that it was going to be locked, but it opened with only the resistance you’d expect from an old, un-oiled door. I stumbled back out into the hallway, heart pounding, and already ready to laugh at my own moment of panic. I turned around. I should go back down there and –

The door shut itself. Not the slow swing from when I’d been down there, but a firm and final slam. And I heard footsteps, the click and thud of someone in a hard-soled, heeled shoe, going down the stairs. I ran back and pulled the door open again, and shone the torch down the stairs, but – nobody.

The thing was. I could still hear the footsteps.

I shut the door again. I was beginning to get some idea of why the disposition of this place might, as Beverley’s sister had put it, been a matter of some debate.

*

In an effort to remind myself that everything was fine, and maybe work up the nerve to go back down there – there was a basement door, and maybe somebody had got into the house that way – I looked through the other rooms on the ground floor. They were the victims of some truly terrible sixties carpeting, and don’t even ask about the curtains in the front parlour, but there was no obvious rot or damage. The main problem, so far as I could see, was that there was only one phone jack – in the hall – and I sincerely doubted the place was wired for cable.

The first floor was much the same as the ground, though the rooms were obviously bedrooms – or a bedroom and a study, given the built-in bookcases and the big desk that someone had clearly decided was too much trouble to move in one – plus the bathroom. That was also decidedly of its time; a big claw-footed tub with no shower, and no sockets for an electric razor. But the way the rest of the place looked it seemed like I was lucky to be getting indoor plumbing.

The prickling feeling of being watched had gone, now, and the second floor revealed nothing more than another two bedrooms, both empty, and a box room. The biggest problem with this place was going to be furniture; I didn’t have much. It wasn’t the end of the world, but I’d have to see what I could borrow or scrounge, since I didn’t want to acquire stuff I’d maybe be getting rid of again.  Actually, Abdul might not want to take some of his up to Glasgow. I should ask.

I realized I’d pretty much decided to take don’t-call-me-Cecelia’s offer. The kitchen thing had to have been my overactive imagination. I’d go in through the basement door, let some light in. That would fix whatever had gotten me while I was down there. But on my way back down the stairs, my eye was caught by what looked like movement in the study door. Except when I looked properly it was shut, the way I left it.

I went in anyway, and the room was still empty, except for a large old desk which you’d have had to disassemble to get out. I walked over to the window, which overlooked the small back garden. That, too, was clipped and mown and somehow barren, despite the technical presence of grass and shrubs and things. They looked sort of leggy and old. I hoped I wasn’t supposed to look after it – I didn’t know the first thing about gardening; they hadn’t exactly been a feature of the Peckwater Estate and my dad wasn’t the allotment type. (My mum was very clear that she had moved to London to get away from places you had to grow your own food.) But Cecelia had said something about that, hadn’t she? So that wasn’t a problem.

As I looked one of the squares of light illuminating the garden went – somebody closing their curtains or turning a light off – and I turned away. I’d wedged myself slightly in beside the desk to look down at the garden properly, and as I wriggled back out my foot nudged something under it. It was hard, so I thought it was a bottle or some other piece of detritus, but it turned out to be a walking cane, the kind that you might see on an earlier episode of Downton Abbey. It was carved from a dark wood, with a silver top only distinguishable as such by its thick coat of tarnish. It covered my hand in dust and gunk, picking it up, and then I didn’t know what to do with it; I left it lying on the desk.

There was another draft in the study, as bad as the one in the kitchen, though at least it didn’t feel like someone breathing on my neck this time; just cold.

“Fuck,” I muttered, and rubbed the back of my neck. If the insulation was this bad – but it was spring, coming into summer; I wasn’t going to be here in winter. It probably wouldn’t make any difference. And free accommodation was, after all, free.

There was a dull thud as the cane rolled off the desk and back onto the floor, to trip up the next passer-by - probably me. I propped it up against the side of the desk, instead, and this time it stayed.

I still needed to go and check the kitchen again, but – worst case I could eat a lot of takeaways. The kitchen could wait until morning, or whenever I came here next. Whatever I thought I’d seen down there, I hadn’t.

I re-armed the alarm system on the way out, to be polite. Also to be polite, I called out “See you later!” as I left.

Nobody answered.

*  Roleplay history

The rules are simple! Post ten characters you’d like to roleplay as, have role-played as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same (if you can’t think of ten characters, just write down however many you can and tag the same amount of people). Aside from that, please repost instead of reblogging!

— CURRENTLY PLAYING.

@wcnderfulrush | Kotori Minami / Love Live! - School Idol Project | Active

@youngbxker | Lillian Elise Marchand | Multiverse OC | Low Activity

@shymaidxn | Diantha / Granblue Fantasy (GBF) | Active

— WANT TO PLAY. 

GBF best friend OCs | Awhile ago a lot of people where making Captain OCs and a few of those types of blogs popped up. I plan on giving Kotori a GBF verse, but I also wanted a multitude of GBF OCs. Maybe as a small crew in of itself, or a small group that joins the Grandcypher; I haven’t decided which yet, nor exactly how many OCs I want to make in this group (there’s at least 3-4 ideas in my head sooo).

Revue Starlight - Relive multimuse | I started playing this game when it first came out (and accidentally put money into it while I was too tired to function, which means I’m keeping it forever now) and I got real interested in some of the characters. Most notably Tamao, Aruru, Hikari, Nana, and recently Junna and Maya have become a bit more interesting to me. I haven’t watched the anime, so I want to watch that first before I make a huge decision / take on so many characters.

Idolmaster multimuse | This is an idea I’ve grappled with for awhile. After I watched the CG anime I loved Uzuki and Kirari, after starting deresute I loved Yuka, Kanna, and Kumiko, after watching SideM and starting msute I loved Shiki, Hayato, Touma, and Saki! If I really got into All Stars / Million Live again, I’d probably be in huge trouble with having too many people;; This right now feels like a lot of muses, but I love them all a lot and would maybe want to try it out?

FGO multimuse | I’ve been lacking in my play towards this game, but I still love some of the characters here! Nero, Da Vinci, Beni-enma, Chiron, Nursery Rhyme, Xuanzang Sanzang, Frankenstein, Nitocris, and the recently added Ganesha are the favs so far, though the blog would probably only start off with Nero, Nursery Rhyme, Fran, and Da Vinci; I need a better understanding of some of them, but some of them won’t come to EN for a bit...

Yuki Yuna / Yuki Yuna is a Hero | A character that I love from my fav magical girl anime! Simple as that lol

Maybe some of the girls from Magia Record when the EN version comes out (though i need to check when that is)

Enstars and A3 are getting animes, so oh dear you never know, I might love them...

A plethora of OCs I might want to make in the future for any reason / any fandom.

— HAVE PLAYED.

Aisling Dempsey | Ghost OC | hiatus ( but maybe collab Lillian book..........one day )

Kathleen O’Conner | Modern OC | erased from existence because she felt real mary sue and her blog gave me anxiety for some reason because of that?

Aya Maryama and Misaki Okusawa | Bang Dream - Girls Band Party | indefinite hiatus ( gonna make their blog one of those multimuses I mentioned; gonna get started on it after Tuesday because that’s when my stats class ends~).

Hanamaru Kunikida | Love Live! Sunshine!! | hiatus because...Aqours rp kind of makes me uncomfy after long-going incidents with a person I used to call my best friend. The rp stuff was on twitter rp and wasn’t directly pointed at me, but I played a small part in it because at first I thought it was just angst threads, but then it turned into...Some real bad jazz, to put it mildly. I love Hanamaru to bits, but I deleted my twitter rp accounts because being reminded of that stuff still gives me anxiety, and even dabbled with deleting her on here but I can’t really bring myself to since nothing happened with this Hanamaru, you know? As such, her blog has just kind of...Rotted in a corner, whoops. I still have all of her icons, so maybe I’ll go back to that blog one day...

Shizuku Osaka | Love Live! - Perfect Dream Project | hiatus because...I keep forgetting she exists gdjcgfhgjv. Took over Kathleen’s whole blog; I did it up and everything, and then I did no threads. Whenever SIFAS or a PDP anime comes out, I may be convinced to go on her blog and actively seek out threads there.

Abel | Lion OC | never had a blog, but literally my first muse on this place ( I rped through anon with this Edward Elric blog I found and popped in with both Abel and Lillian-prototype; that mun and I are friends on twitter and tumbr personals and occasionally strike up conversations still~). A fond memory, but also a tad cringe, but also the mun encouraged my writing and said it was really good, and that helped make the mun I am today~ *fireworks*. I thought about making him kinda like a shapeshifter with a zookeeper job, but as of this post nothing has happened outside of a few ideas.

STOLEN FROM. technically @sappines but this has been sitting in my drafts for so long;; TAGGING. Hey you? You like memes? Then go take this one!

I'm not sure if you talked about it more before I started following your blog, but I'm pretty curious about the origins of your dragon characters tbh. Like, are they like ur OCs you had in a big story you had in your head or smth that you adapted to write as dragons in a separate AU-type thing? I'd love to hear more about it or be directed to a place where you've written about it somewhere.

well you’re mostly right! many of my characters here (luke rúth delta neven john mikaelxandra rezann leo) are just au versions of characters i already had. and it’s less a big story i had in my head and more a 10-year project that’s over 2 million words long and 2 rewrites deep atm - i’ve written eleven or twelve books (it’s subjective) and done countless more au stuff and exploratory stories that just get into anatomy and worldbuilding and stuff like that (so like... stuff that would be really boring to anyone but me). i’m not saying any of it is any good or worth reading, but it sure is a thing. 

i stopped incorporating my old characters into fr dragons in 2015 so any dragon i’ve made since then is original to my fr lore (which started off as a fantasy version of my other story but then diverged wildly off into completely different territory) 

i do have a blog dedicated to it but it’s password locked and i’m not giving out the url. i do have a blog supposedly dedicated to my personal creative work over at @fuildorcha but it’s been a while since i posted there (but i might start posting soon since i’m starting to get back into writing and planning and what have u) 

uhh i’ll do a really basic bare-bones plot summary and a quick intro paragraph to where each character comes from under the cut here so u all know where i’m coming from 

basically it’s a first-contact story? but with alternate dimensions/parallel universes rather than straight-up aliens. each one of the characters listed above (except for the last 3) belongs to a different dimension, and the story is basically about how they meet. and there’s the added uh emotional poignancy in the fact that the first 6 of them are not human and are supposed to be the only ones of their kind, so basically each one has lived a life expecting to never ever meet another like them, to only have humans for company. but obviously they do meet. and they end up doing some really dumb but also heroic stuff while also liberating a bunch of people from oppressive regimes. they also learn that maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way 

the main character is luke who is fond of making these super unhelpful crusades against those he considers to be his allies but really no one wants his help because he just makes things worse like constantly, as a habit, without really caring about consequences. he’s a jerk of course and permanently fucked up after the death of his sibling way back when. but one day he makes a Big Terrible Mistake that killed a lot of people, irradiated a major city, and would have resulted in him being imprisoned for basically the rest of his life and also introduces the concept of laser superweapons to humanity (this can only go well lmao) and - as a knock-on effect - the ability to break the dimension barrier. like he really fucked up. but instead of being sent to jail he gets forcibly drafted into the service of a government scientist, emma, who gives him an ultimatum: work for me for free and get exploited endlessly, or rot in jail for the rest of ur life. his treatment at the hands of his captors (who pretend they’re on his side, they’re very evil) results in a vengeance crusade on his part that sets off the whole first-contact chain of events. he lives in a world like ours, except that there was a rebellion against the british monarchy a couple hundred years ago. on the run from the law he meets a very lost and very confused stranger who doesn’t speak a word of english and is also rúth. the two of em fall in love. aw (luke is still nonbinary and given the chance would use ‘they’ pronouns here too but i wanted to make the world like ours as much as possible and luke hates standing out in any way so he wouldn’t want to use a non-standard pronoun set. so he just uses the set that matches his name) 

john comes from a radically different dimension, one where the monarchy spread and basically controls the entire planet. but, unsatisfied with that, his queen alexandra began colonising other dimensions and stripping them of their resources (and thus ensuring that her own home is the best-equipped and richest and all that). john is the queen’s weapon, it’s his job to “quell dissenters” which is a nice way of saying that he goes in to contested areas and massacres everyone. but he is beginning to doubt his role and the ethicality thereof, and is very curious about the numerous blank patches in his memory that seem to coincide with every previous occasion he entertained potentially treasonous thoughts. seeking to put an end to luke’s campaign against her, emma reaches out to the monarchy to ask for aid. the queen sends in john to do his normal job but things don’t go as planned. john switches sides and becomes basically the most wanted person in the universe.

rúth’s dimension is inextricably linked to john’s - it is the victim of the monarchy’s first attempts at extra-dimensional colonialism. the monarchy fucked up a lot back then, before perfecting its technique, and the battle between rúth’s predecessor and john’s predecessor over the territory completely destroyed the entire mediterranean, turning it into a desert. rúth’s predecessor lost the fight and the monarchy took root in france and spread south. but an unintended consequence of the battle were the chemical reactions in the soil and atmosphere that led to the formation of dye deposits - the only ones of their kind in any dimension. if not for them, the population would have left the desert, but they hung on to mine out the dyes. rúth lived a relatively peaceful normal life until accidentally stumbling through a monarchy portal into luke’s world. with a french-english dictionary and a lot of sign language, luke manages to communicate to rúth that he needs help to fight against john

now ok, neven comes from a parallel version of rúth’s world where the monarchy lost the big battle, but the desertification happened anyway. neven’s people sought safety in the monarchy dimension and took on the mantle of being imperialist jerks. eventually a bunch of bad shit happens and the dimension becomes uninhabitable, so they do the most logical thing and build a space ship to live on. neven is there the whole time, being treated as the avatar of god and the champion of their race etc etc. in the early 1900s, the space ship breaks into a new dimension which it allies with, and neven finally meets another one like them. the two never get a chance to communicate much, but they fight together for about a hundred years and neven falls in love. aw. eventually one of the space ship’s oldest allies - the monarchy from john’s world - gets absolutely destroyed via mysterious circumstances. commander of the space ship, rezann, decides to take the opportunity to cannibalise the monarchy’s remains and execute anyone who might attempt to resurrect it - this includes john.  

delta (for it is he whom neven loves) is literally the parallel version of luke. like they are the same person, genetically identical, but their dimensions veered off very early on, so due to the two of them growing up in completely different circumstances, delta bears almost no resemblance to luke besides appearance (and then only barely). delta comes from a wonderfully idyllic background - sent to a workhouse when he was young, he was part of a rebellion that saw the workers take control and basically start their own little settlement. this prospered for hundreds of years, with delta as its guardian, until that world’s monarchy went to war. the men of the village were hit by the draft and delta decided to go with them to keep them safe. unfortunately he was discovered as Not What He Seems by the king and instead of helping his settlement, he inadvertently causes it to be wiped off the map by revealing its presence (and the presence of its pagan, blasphemous population) to the king. delta gets mind-wiped, forgets his real name, and gets thrown onto the front lines to fight beside neven. later - years and years later - he gets in some real bad shit, gets basically everything taken from him, and would probably die alone and in pain, but he gets rescued. he gets a happy ending 

leo comes from a completely different unrelated story, he’s a frustrated IT technician working in a computer shop who basically becomes the plaything of the gods. but there’s no real plot to be had, i just liked his character enough to move him over into fr at the time (2014). fr!leo has had way more character development than og!leo who i don’t really write about any more

Anyway, here are Finn-, Poe-, and Rey’s Hero’s Journeys leading up to TLJ. It should be said that in their LARGER Hero’s Journeys, TFA only constitutes Act I for each of them, but it also has its own mini-sized Hero’s Journey for each of them as well because that’s how monomyth-based franchises work. (The HP series works the same way -- each book has its own Hero’s Journey for Harry, but they all work together to create a larger Journey within the Ring Composition [which SW doesn’t have because it’s trilogies, etc].)

Of note, a big part of why the Prequel Trilogy movies aren’t as good as the OT or TFA is that they don’t follow the Hero’s Journey model for any of the main trio (Anakin, Padme, and Obi-Wan, fwiw, not Anakin, Padme, and Palpatine or something), which goes against the story type that SW fans from the OT were expecting. Also their act structure is Not Great because of the massive time jumps and stuff -- AOTC kind of starts all over again as a new Act I and then there’s never a satisfying conclusion because ROTS basically ends with The Ordeal.

tl;dr here’s wonderwall

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Copypasta from this post for @morethanonepage

Responding in bullet-points to save time and address everything worth addressing.

All I’m saying is his arc is important to the story, and is the only one that intersects with both Finn’s, Poe’s, and Rey’s.

That does not make him “part of the trio,” it STILL MAKES HIM ANCILLARY TO THEIR STORIES AS THE PROTAGONISTS. In fact, it strengthens the argument AGAINST his inclusion in “the trio” that he does interact with all three – he does so as the antagonist, to all three of them, and 2/3 in exactly the same way (mind rape) and the third in a grievous and equivocal physical attack.

He is the antagonist BECAUSE he diametrically and directly opposes the three protagonists. Or, in SW parlance, the trio.

It’s an indisputable fact that Poe does not interact with Rey onscreen. It’s very odd for a protagonist to not interact with another protagonist.

They interact in the novelization, though, so if we’re gonna count things like “a version of the movie that never saw the light of day at all and was scrapped long before filming even started or casting was complete,” then I feel like… we can count the official novelization.

Poe also does not go through any character development in the film in the way that Finn and Rey (and arguably Kylo) do. He remains the same charming, good guy he was at the beginning of the film.

…And Finn remains the same emotionally aware, afraid-but-brave, stronger-than-his-peers, willing-to-do-what’s-right guy that he was at the beginning of the film. All of that, despite his character development, because that is the core of Who Finn Is.

…And Rey remains the same woman who is determined to find belonging and assert her own value despite its emotional and physical tolls, unwilling to show vulnerability to others but clearly feeling it and it showing anyway, strong-as-nails and CLEARLY Force Sensitive woman that she was at the beginning of the film. All of that, despite her character development, because that is the core of Who Rey Is.

…And Kylo Ren remains the same self-interested, emotionally volative, violent, bloodthirsty, amoral, sadistic fuck that he was at the beginning of the film. All of that, despite his (dubious? I… don’t see it, to say the least; he’s introduced by murdering an old man for no reason other than a mention of his family and he exits with the murder of an old man for no reason other than being his family… with a bunch of kidnapping and mind-rape in between…) character development, because that is the core of Who Kylo Ren Is.

Are those all oversimplifications?

Yeah. Absolutely. Because you vastly oversimplified Poe and his character arc, and I’m making a point. You can make it look like ANY character had no development if you only look at a superficial level.

But they aren’t like, incorrect. The view of Poe as nothing but a “charming, good guy” is, though, and if that’s all you see in Poe then you don’t get Poe at ALL and CERTAINLY not enough to write meta or make pronouncements about his value in the story OR franchise as a whole. Good lord. Poe is… INFINITELY more than that, both IN THE FILM ITSELF *and* in all of the supplementary material that WAS INTRODUCED ABOUT HIM FOR A REASON, TO MAKE UP FOR THE LACK OF SCREEN TIME AND TO ASSERT HIS IMPORTANCE TO THE SEQUEL TRILOGY.

You can’t just ignore 70% of the Poe material and then say that you don’t know anything about him like that’s not your own fault.

Poe is not a protagonist in The Force Awakens. We don’t follow his story the way we follow Rey’s and Finn’s and Kylo’s. He is, however, a member of the heroic trio (a la Luke, Leia, and Han in the OT, and Padme, Anakin, and Obi Wan in the PT).

We literally do, except for the part they cut in which he escapes Jakku. He still undergoes a Hero’s Journey, the same as Finn and Rey do, and MOST of it happens within TFA as a film – although NONE of the three of them entirely has their Hero’s Journey in the film; they all begin in Before The Awakening, which is, again, why that book was released and serves to have an impact on the story. You can’t ignore “hey, here’s where their stories all start!” and then be like, “but their stories didn’t start in a way that pleased me.”

Also, Poe is a protagonist in TFA because his actions and reactions create and propel the narrative. That is what a protagonist IS and DOES. If Poe did not go to Jakku to find Lor San Tekka and the map to Luke, the entire plotline literally doesn’t happen. The inciting incident of TFA belongs to Poe. If Poe did not show up to the battle of Takodana, Finn and Han would be dead, and Rey would not have been saved from the First Order in time – as such, 1/3 of the climax of the film belongs to Poe (and 1/3 to Finn, and 1/3 to Rey… because they’re a trio). And if Poe didn’t blow up Starkiller Base, not only Finn and Rey would be dead, but so would the entire Resistance and, with it, eventually the entirety of a noncompliant Galaxy.

So.

Like.

Poe just is literally a protagonist. He is 1/3 of the forward motion of the story and his actions create the plotline. Again: literally what a protagonist is.

and yes poe was originally meant to kill poe off. you don’t believe us? look up JJ abrams comments.

You know who else was originally supposed to be killed off? Han Solo in ANH. Does that mean that since that DIDN’T HAPPEN AND THAT VERSION WAS SCRAPPED VERY EARLY ON, that Han isn’t a main character?

Things that do not matter: stuff that literally was given up on because they realized that wasn’t the story they wanted to tell.

Things that do matter: all of the stuff that they’re choosing to include because it DOES matter.

Of course I’ve seen those comments; what am I, new? I just don’t think the rough draft as opposed to the final draft that actually exists means shit to what we read into and out of the story, for pete’s sake. ORIGINALLY, Luke and Leia weren’t siblings. ORIGINALLY, Han died. ORIGINALLY, it was a one-off movie and not a franchise at all. It don’t matter, babe. Fuck.

And just to put to bed the inane idea that “Poe doesn’t have an arc in TFA”:

Here is Finn’s Hero’s Journey: [BIGGER]

Here is Rey’s Hero’s Journey: [BIGGER]

Here is Poe’s Hero’s Journey: [BIGGER]

All three of them begin in Before the Awakening, because THAT IS LITERALLY WHEN THEIR STORIES BEGIN, UNTIL OR UNLESS EARLIER CANONICAL SUPPLEMENTARY MATERIAL IS RELEASED, IN WHICH CASE, THAT WOULD BE WHEN THEIR STORIES BEGIN (BUT, crucially, NOT necessarily when their Hero’s Journeys begin – they can exist as characters/people in the Galaxy without having a a Hero’s Journey; most of the SW characters do and that’s what makes them… dun-dun… not the Heroes).

Poe’s arc includes Before the Awakening, the ongoing Poe Dameron comic, and TFA, so far. BtA and the Poe comic exist for a reason, and that reason is to flesh out his hero’s journey so that he is better balanced with Finn and Rey in canonical material going into TLJ.

It’s… not that deep, guys. He’s a protagonist who didn’t have as much screentime, so they’re making up for it, because he is an intended and existing protagonist.

Finn. Rey. Poe. Are the trio, period, of the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy. They are the Han, Luke, and Leia of this generation. That’s why all of the marketing has been like, “every generation has a story: HERE’S SOME FINN, REY, AND POE, THE EMBLEMS OF THIS GENERATION’S STORY.”

Smoking tenants!!

Whoever may come across this post, please read everything of what I have to say, it is an issue that is very important to me (And others), one which I have been mailing many mayors, counsel members and so on throughout Ontario to try and get them to realise the severity of how cigarette smoke effects sensitive individuals like myself and others, and I will also get into the physical/etc effects that it causes me.

My message: Again, please read everything, trust me, it will all make sense. Now, for what I am about to say, I really wish that I never had to make any mods at all (What I will say never seems to be a problem in a non-smoking house that is in good enough shape though (As in most all homes) - Makes sense I guess, as you don’t have to worry about others being connected to it from elsewhere and as they are also spaced far enough apart from one another - I am okay with some smoke but here it is very high with chain smokers that just don’t quit).

Anyways, thanks so much for taking the time to read this, this is very important, both for myself and many others. I need to bring up the issue of excessive cigarette smoke. I have mods throughout my unit (I would not have done any mods if it weren’t for the smoke, and most places wouldn’t have even allowed this, so I lucked out on that one), but unless if I were to somehow seal myself in literally 100% (Which of course, even if I could, it would be a disaster) there is no way (That I know of) to always keep the smoke out.

Smoke can get through doors into the hall/elevator/come from even the tiniest of gaps/other floors/etc. Relatively often, it is horrible from outdoors late at light to early in the morning, people smoking from their balconies, in their units while leaving the door open, or opening it at random times to air out their unit, it is often the absolute worst and even new windows/doors don’t always keep it out (Drafts), and telling anyone about it does no good cause it is stuff that has to be dealt with when living in an apartment, or so I was told.

I have window curtains that are visible from the outside to make sure that the blankets covering the wall/windows and patio door are not visible/an eyesore (Shutters would be nice, but there is always some kind of draft, even with draft blockers, theres always something), as well as curtain covering them from the inside to give a nice appearance. This also still allows for nice air flow/equal pressures in and out all the gaps/draft areas of the windows so as not to cause issues with them.

Smoke (And other odours) even gets through the air ducks so yup, there taped also along with some really great sealing wrap, but no worries, cause as for the air, I’ve got a really good dehumidifier with a really good reusable filter that I use from time to time to continue to keep things under control nicely by cycling the air/keeping out the dust and regulating the humidity levels, keeping the air nice and clean/fresh.

All the mouldings, cracks in the walls/ceiling and anywhere else where my sensitive (To smoke) nose picked it up, I have taped up, and as for the bathroom, theres a person in the floor above who’s place is regularly a mess.

The coat of paint that they put on the walls covered stuff up really well (Including more of the intensities of the smells), but before I could get all that far, parts of the wall near the windows were pretty brittle and many even came off in chunks so I kind of got that takin care of along with cleaning an oven that was left full of grease and was suppose to have been takin care of. Also a loose cable outlet that thankfully still worked/works. Too, a plug socket that was not in the best of shape, so I just decided not to use it and have it covered up, but of course I didn’t notice any of that till it was too late already, but anything that happens while I’m here does get takin care of.

Another thing that could be contributing from time to time is the fact that the door of my place that leads to the hallways is the nearest to the hallway door and less so for stuff getting into other peoples units (Just a thought though). The hallway door in turn has the elevator door right by it, so any funnelling effects into or out of my place are probably cause of that, and come to think of it, the only times I really have smoke (That is easily takin care of) is when I am gone from my place for a while. Anyways, I’ve got easily placeible and removable “Glad Press’n Seal-leak proof & Airtight seal all-surface wrap” that can be reused several times and sticks really well when put over tape that I have around the edges of the door).

I also used that wrap over a couple layers of tape that went on the blankets for the windows (No need to ever replace any of it especially as I have all the side of the wrap taped to really make extra sure nothing gets through) and it keeps all those nasty odours out and there is good drafts between the windows too.

As an added bonus even on the coldest and hottest/most humid days the temp is quite stable (Only like 2-3 days a year on average when it gets a bit chilly or warm for a bit of those days, but thats it) and I don’t have to use any heating or have any air conditioning that I can’t really afford to begin with anyways, and from the outside and inside I have made sure that for me, things can be seen well enough so that they can be monitored/keeping an eye on things from time to time/when need be.

Originally, when I was going to move into this building, the place I was going to rent out was on the first floor but there was supposedly maintenance going on in there all of a sudden, so I ended up in this one instead, which overall is still pretty great, as I can have the mods that I’ve got set up.

These smokers can work around the law and there are some that smoke practically non stop here, and they can’t just simply be kicked out, and I really can not afford to be anywhere else - Especially with everything that I had to put into this place over so many months whenever I could, it would be too much of a loss for me (Even if my some unreal miracle there was another multi-dwelling/rental place that would let me do all this).

You can tell there have been many things going on for a while, by the way certain spots look that were covered up before I moved in, so none of this really surprises me all that much, but because I was able to do the stuff I did, I can keep it healthy in here. That is a big plus and during the day I moved in there was still a nasty odour out in the hall that although to a lesser extent was quite similar to what was coming from around the window/wall area. Since I was told things were inspected/etc, i wont worry about it, so long as I can keep things good in here.

Anyways, getting the curtains up was a pain, as there are softer/more brittle parts in random areas of the walls here, so I had to re-screw one of the poll/hangers ends around 5 times or so. I have also had a total of 5 holes (really, really bad spots) in my wall do to this same issue (Either a horrible string of luck or…) so I got rid of the rot just to be safe and have patch them up well enough.

I guess a sensitive nose to these kinds of things is just all part and parcel of the A, not to be confused with our eh, lolz. Anyways, to keep the air nice and fresh, I have also track the smoke down to coming through light switched and plug sockets so I have them taped up as well.

But a fair number of days it ins’t as bad and some of it goes through the hallway on and off but at times even the hallway even gets stunk up horribly (At least on the floor I’m on) and smoke still comes from units even when the doors/windows are closed. Again, I am one of those who is really sensitive to it and it isn’t as simple as just moving and even if I found some where else, I don’t know of any units that have either a zero tolerance or something like a 3 strikes and your out policy for smokers.

Usually, I am able to keep things pretty good in my place, and just as someone would have mild to moderate hay-fever, I’ve got that with cigarette smoke (Headaches, sore throat, troubles breathing, itchy skin, burning eyes/lungs, makes me feel like vomiting, messes with my head/etc).

It’s not like I can just call 911 (Anyone who makes noise, those complaints seem to be taken much more seriously than smoke, even though worldwide tobacco kills over 3mil/year-that…is…a…fact). Just to let you all know, I don’t go off automatically hat’n’ everyone who smokes…I hate the smoke itself…

It would be nice if cities/etc had apartment buildings for smokers only (As well as any non-smokers who for whatever reason/s wanted to be there as well) with the rest of the buildings being for non-smokers only so that (Allergic or not) that took bad odours (Smoke or otherwise) seriously so we don’t have to suffer whether it be anywhere from not being noticed to major, cause lets face it, it’s not healthy no matter how you look at it…