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#I think this has all come on as I have been ill this past week now and my mental health is just catching up to my poor physical heath 🙃
oatbugs · 5 hours
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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...
#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes#unrelated
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dreamlogic · 1 year
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...
#shit chat#family cw#parents divorcing: dad moved into tiny apt & doesn't want anything. mom moving to kentucky in a few weeks? months? w/ new fiancee#brother sick of the drama; doesn't want anything & isn't talking to my mom rn (understandable)#so i'm. pawing through 30 years of my parents' junk trying to sift out & salvage childhood relics#the leftovers mostly bc my mom has already laid claim to most of the things i have a strong attachment to#and currently having an existential crisis on my bedroom floor sorting through xmas decorations to keep/donate#like damn my childhood has so much substance in my memory & these objects seemed imbued with so much magic#and looking at it now there's a few things that still have a glimmer of life but mostly it's just cheap old shit.#i don't want any of this; i just want the sense of comfort and love and security of a functional loving family#but the divorce is also dredging up a lot of shit that i'm further processing in therapy#and i'm coming to the very depressing realization that a lot of my childhood kinda sucked ass#not all of it! and looking at photos i still feel strong positive emotions towards my past#but there really isn't any legacy to speak of. heirlooms consist of a few sentimental tchotchkes & a box of old picture books#also my mom kinda fucking sucked as a parent in ways i'm only just now allowing myself to admit & examine#like i don't think i could ever hate her or write her off completely and i did get certain wonderful aspects of myself from her#but she hasn't consistently been a Good Mom to me. p much since my brother was born when i was like 5.#more like a very mentally ill fair-weather friend who was also partially responsible for raising me#god this sucks. but at least i have a box of delicate sparkly glass baubles that i can smash on the pavement for catharsis sometime#anyways. friends if it seems like i've been more hermit-y and avoidant than usual lately– this is why#i've been estranged from most of my extended family for years & used to be really close with my immediate family.#which is currently a reeking dumpster fire that's choking my life with noxious smoke#and p much all of my energy & free time is going towards not letting actively retruamatizing current events nuke my brain#brother & i agreed that the current Vibes are like...#trying to cut loose the life boats from a sinking ship and get clear before the water displacement sucks us under#but i finally have all my shit out of the house except furniture that can't be moved until my mom moves#so the gaping chest wound is slowly starting to scab over and i can start actually clearing out some of this shit &#tracing the panicked exodus back to a more grounded stable version of myself#ugh.
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the-20th-century-girl · 5 months
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Woke up (after oversleeping waaay too much) from a dream, which I am now convinced my brain put together as a personal attack on me. It really had everything in it that I was worrying over, just to make me sad.
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ethereiling · 11 months
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microdosing on self love by making myself strawberry shortcake and buying myself drinks i like and putting my favorite soup into smaller containers so i can eat it without being stressed abt it spoiling
#avpswjy#been pondering many things the past few weeks and its been rough but im working on it#i think part of it is bc my birthday is this thursday and i always get a lil introspective around then#also bc i have that seasonal anxiety in the summer. but anyway#im really coming face to face with how i dont know how to exist if i am not loved#or not loved enough or in the right ways#or dont know that im loved 100% of the time#and like. ive known im like this for a while but im starting to realize how huge of an issue it is for me and its not good!!#i want to do stuff without looking to others for approval first#i want to enjoy things that other ppl think is cringe#i want to love people without demanding the same amount of love in return#i want to just like. exist#and thats very hard for me! and its something ive been working on for a while but its Rough#like this has been a thing my entire fucking life idk how to unlearn it now lmao#but i have to try#its kind of shitty having all your sense of existence tied to other people and im sick of it#its gotten better. but i want it to be a much smaller part of who i am#one day ill go to therapy again. and probably get on anxiety meds. but itll take a lil while#aaaannyway im okay just going thru kind of a sad time as i process a lot of stuff#mostly veeery old feelings and experiences that i never acknowledged were like. bad.#but thats part of living babey#it all boils down to self love tbh which is a very difficult thing for me but something i can still learn#enough sadposting on main. time to play video game
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your--isgayrights · 2 years
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It’s orvuto anon again, I stalled on your pinned post again — experimental neuroscience?? :eyes:
Yesss. I'm actually an undergrad neuroscience major... Like writing and art and stuff is just for fun, I wanna be a research neuroscientist one day lol.
#That's why I practically haven't posted the past few weeks cuz I'm back in school#I'm also in a lot of east asian history classes because I'm minoring in east asian language and lit for fun#and I've been running into this barrier recently where I feel like its hard to explain to people the overlap that exists between hard#science and the needs of the individuals that science is supposed to help you know#like for me the reason being a research neuroscientist is so appealing is because if you're going to pick a job where you mostly do busy#work all day then being in a research field just means you know that whatever pointless thing you're doing or failed experiment you perform#everything you do is a piece of data that's going to contribute to this greater process that really has tangible eeffects in helping real#people who suffer from neurological disease. which I think is comforting in a world where doing a little never feels like enough#What I've been thinking about lately though is that I have an inherent belief in that system because I really believe in the ability of#people to do good in it because I'm coming from the same frame of rationalist mindset that a lot of research is based in but that in#clinical applications there are a lot of inherent biases that prevent people from knowing what illnesses they have and how to receive#treatment for them... because in my east asian history classes we've been talking about different belief systems and ways of thought#that sometimes have to do with medicine or psychology. and I always think that it's interesting to analyze practices that are mysticized in#modernity through that lense. but it's become apparent to me that it's hard to express that interest as genuine to religious people without#them feeling as though I'm dismissing their beliefs rather than trying to analyze how they interact with the physical reality that I know.#and it made me realize that the dismissiveness of western science towards religion combined with ableism in society makes it hard for peop#le who have the symptoms of things like psychosis or mood disorders that might have an associated role in a religion to feel like#psychiatric diagnosis or treatment isn't a complete insult to who they are as a person and I think that's the fault of a lack of compassion#and respect for others in clinical practice... its just like a social norm that i really wish would change. because i don't think physical#reality has to be dismissive of spiritual beliefs when acknowledged but because of some of the habits of western scientists and#certain subsects of christianity people don't think about it enough to have that conversation sometimes...#that's just what i've been thinking about lately lol.#personal#ask#anonymous
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cannotgiveafuck · 2 years
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My patience and emotional stability is at an all time low, like man, I haven't cried this much in a very long time. Anyway my pride stuff from target came in and i got some mcr merch on the way. A reward for my suffering. Also the new MCR song and Florence album on repeat.
#personal#which is to say i am trying to distract myself#but also have healthy emotional outlets that are self destructive#bc the more i think about my dad being in the hospital. the more ill think about him#and everything that came before this past weekend. and everything that could come with each possible outcome#which is to say i am being choked by my daddy issues and want to curl up and cease to exist#but i guess work has been sufficiently busy enough. but really my emotional fortitude is uh. bad rn#dont mind me. im putting this here bc i refuse to put it on fb#and get a bunch of sympathy replies from folks i know or used to know. or who know my face#also. i thought sitting in the room with him unconscious on the hospital bed hooked up to tubes and lines#would make it easier to talk out loud about all the shit he caused. all the fuckin issues i should def see a therapist about#but all i could do was sit there and stare at him. and think about how old and small and feeble he looked#and how age and time just fuckin sneaks up on us#and i thought id be able to say out loud all the shit his alcoholic did. how it got him here.#how he finally got his kids to visit him real quick and all it took was a heart attack#but gods. i hate the way my voice sounded so i didnt say a fuckin thing#just sat there for an hour watching him. thinking of all the stupid shit ill never tell him#and to top it off. my ma aint helping. like. i know she has her own emotional rollercoaster esp with this#but jfc she doesnt have to drag me along for the ride.#mommy issues flaring up. i need a handful of ibuprofen and week long nap for this#i meant NOT self destructive. but idk maybe speeding down the highway yelling to music is bad
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be-good-to-bugs · 9 days
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UGH why does eating always make me feel like throwing up :/ that is the opposite of what i want
#the bin#i feel less bad todaynthan i usually do. i think. but physically my body feels terrible. i am also still super stressed and sad but. i dont#feel as utterly horrible as i usually do so thats good i guess. i wish i could turn it into something productive but thats fine#i mostly wishbthat i could being myslef to do something fun like watch something or whatever but my brain still says no#and i wishbi could draw but my brain says no to that too#well. i can probably actually afford some weed after all bc itll peobs mostky be gas i gotta pay for for thw trip so#idk when ill see my sister next but ill have to fully figure this out then. and i gotta measure the inside of her boyfriends car so i can#know how much i can pack. i can also probably afford to get the things i wanted for my siblings from here before i leave. maybe.#gas will be a lot but they still owe me $300 so that helps a lot. i should be able to afford the trip fine. im really sad i have to leave#most of my stuff though. i dont trust my sister with it. but i dont have a choice so whatever. ill just have to deal.#well. im glad i dont feel so empty and horrible now. i hope it lasts and i can do something with it. its probs bc i had a meltdown honestly#ive felt like maybe thats what ive been needing to feel better. things still suck but i feel marginally better#usually i try talking to my mom just to get an ounch of social interaction and also i can complain abt stuff to her and she doenst tell#anyone. she has issues but shes pretty good about my privacy i think because shes scared id stop talking ti her if she broke that trust#which is true. i would probably stop talking to her. that was originally the plan before she stopled being such a bad mom anyway so#but idk. i havnet talked to her since she asked if i was coming to the funeral and i said no. she wasnt mad at me or anything but i havent#talke to her about non dad dying related stuff in a bit so. i shouod tho. im moving and i need to find out when a good time for that is.#and make sure she knows around what time i had been planning. and i need to know if she got an update about some stuff too.#also helath insurance stuff. im assuming she didnt end up getting a chnace to add me yet considering what happned. shes been busy#but my tooth pain has gotten even worse this past week so id like to see a dentist in june if possible bc god this thing hurts so bad
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cupid-styles · 1 month
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omg bestieeeee i so need hocker h nd ballerina to talk and smooch !!!!! ngl i’m a sucker for protective and jealous h 🤭🤭🤭🤭 🐱
I feel like ive made you guys wait way too long for this one gvkdfjgkf
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a continuation of this blurb! (and sort of this one)
word count: 2.3k (we had a lot of ground to cover)
content warnings: minor mentions of smut, slight angst but all is fixed by the end, not ramadan friendly
main masterlist | hockey h masterlist
talk to me
. . .
Two weeks.
Two weeks of radio silence from Y/N.
Two weeks of over-thinking everything he did that night.
Two weeks of Harry drunk texting her on lonely nights.
please just tell me if you hate me
im so sorry
ill leave you alone if its what you want, I just need to know
Each and every time, Y/N read his messages, eyes scanning over the words, and locked her phone.
The truth is, she doesn't know what she wants from him, if anything. She doesn't know why she felt so attracted to him that night — she was tipsy, not drunk, and in complete control of her actions. She never hooked up with people in public — no messy makeouts, but she certainly never let anyone finger her in the hallway of a bar.
The entire thing was completely unlike her. Maybe that's what scared her the most.
Deep down, she wanted to reply to him, but she didn't even know what to say. She didn't want him to leave her alone — maybe that was selfish, but she liked knowing he was at least a little okay. She'd even been keeping secret tabs on the hockey team. They had won their past two games, but Harry had been thrown out in the most recent one for unsportsmanlike conduct. Apparently, he'd gotten into a fight with one of the players on the other team.
Admittedly, that worried her, but she didn't want to be his babysitter. On top of that, the spring showcase was this weekend, and she'd thrown every last bit of her energy into rehearsing and practicing to make sure her performance would be absolutely flawless.
She didn't have the time — or mental capacity — to worry about Harry right now.
. . .
"You look like an idiot."
Harry rolls his eyes as he adjusts the collar on his button down for the third time. James and his girlfriend Melanie had helped him with ironing it out so it looked presentable enough on his body. Anything he ever did rarely called for slacks and button up shirts, but Melanie advised him to look polished and put-together for tonight.
He wasn't in a place to reject her advice.
The other teammates that James lived with weren't quite as kind. Stephen, a sophomore defenseman who was only on the team for the perks of sleeping with every girl he could get his hands on, wouldn't stop throwing sarcastic comments Harry's way.
"Shut up, Stephen!" Melanie calls from the living room. She marches into James' bedroom as Harry smoothes out a few leftover wrinkles in his slacks, swallowing tightly. "When's the last time you cared about something besides fucking random girls? At least Harry has some direction in his life."
"I'm just saying, the girl's been ignoring him for weeks. She's gonna laugh in his face."
"Leave!" Melanie exclaims, batting him on the shoulder. Stephen lets out a yelp of pain and Harry smirks, despite the anxiety throbbing in his chest. "You're not helping! Get out!"
Reluctantly, Stephen rolls his eyes as he follows Melanie's orders and leaves the room. She sighs and comes up from behind Harry before flashing him a hopeful grin.
"You look great, H. I think this is a really sweet gesture."
He nibbles on his bottom lip as he turns to face her. "Okay, but what if Stephen's dumbass is right? She could call security on me and have me removed."
Melanie gives him a sympathetic look, "Yeah, it's a possibility. But isn't it better to go down fighting?"
He shrugs.
"You said ballet is her everything. It's her entire life. Show her that you're willing to integrate yourself into that."
"Yeah," he breathes out, nodding slowly. "Yeah, you're right."
"I know I am." she grins. "Okay, let's get you over there. Don't forget the flowers you picked up!"
. . .
30 minutes later, Harry can't stop shifting uncomfortably as he sits in an aisle seat in the campus auditorium at Y/N's spring showcase.
The massive bouquet of flowers in his lap keep making his nose run and he feels like he's being suffocated by the buttons on his shirt that go all the way up to his neck. Best of all, according to the show program, Y/N isn't scheduled to go on until the very end. She mentioned to him once that being placed as the finale act is the best and biggest compliment, and he can't fight the bit of pride that thrums in his heart.
For an hour, he sits there, fidgeting with the cuffs of his shirt and pinching his bottom lip between his fingers as he waits for Y/N to go on. He sits through mediocre singing showcases and even a violin solo that almost puts him to sleep, if not for the older man clearing his throat next to him. Melanie and James even text him during the intermission to see how it's going, but he doesn't have much to report back.
Finally, the show comes to a close and her name is announced, following by the title of the French piece of music she's dancing to. His heart throbs in his chest — he's so nervous for her, especially knowing she hurt her ankle just a few weeks back. But the second she graces the stage, she's a vision of beauty, strength, and delicacy all at the same time. It's enough to take Harry's breath away.
As he sits there watching her, he doesn't move a muscle. Not for a single jump, spin, or step. He doesn't know anything about ballet — not aside from what Y/N has told him — but in that moment, he realizes that he'd be willing to learn every little thing there is to know if it meant she let him back into her life.
She's gorgeous. She offers a flawless performance and the second she's finished, a look of relief washes over her face as she takes a subdued bow, her pretty eyes widening when she sees all the people — Harry included — standing and applauding her.
For Y/N, the hard part was over. For Harry, it had just begun.
. . .
Y/N is elated to have a moment of silence after her performance.
With the dressing room door shut behind her, she lets out a long, deep breath. The dance she'd been driving herself crazy over for months was finally over.
And yet, for some reason, she feels empty.
She shoves it down as sits, eager to get her pointe shoes off. She's ready to shed her costume and get into sweatpants and head home. She knows the rest of the performers are heading out to a party tonight, but she's exhausted.
She's sorting through the bag of clothes she brought when there's a soft knock at the door. She knows she only has around 20 minutes to get out before the janitorial staff starts cleaning, so she rises with a sigh, unlocking the door and opening it.
"I'll be done soon, I just need to change—"
It's not the janitor, though.
It's Harry. Standing there stiffly in a starchy button down with a huge bouquet of flowers that almost encompass the width of his broad shoulders.
"What are you doing here?" she blurts without thinking.
"I came to watch you perform," he replies gently. His throat bobs as he hands her the flowers. "These are for you."
"You didn't watch me." she snorts with a shake of her head. She hasn't accepted the bouquet yet.
"Yes, I did," he instantly fires back, "What, do you wanna see my ticket for proof? I was in seat F34, next to an old man who kind of smelled like soup, and he kept clearing his throat and it was really annoying but I didn't care because I came to see you, and I'd sit through hours of bullshit to watch you dance."
Harry can't read the blank expression of her face, but he takes it as a step in the right direction when she takes the flowers from him. She blinks as she glances past him and then steps aside, motioning for him to come in.
"I have to get my shit together and leave soon, so... just sit in here."
He nods. He's hesitant to allow himself to relax since he's not sure if he's in the clear yet. She closes the dressing room door behind her and places the bouquet on her vanity.
"I need to change," she says, spinning around to face him. "Close your eyes."
He chuckles until he sees the serious expression on her face. "Wait, really?"
"Yes, really."
"But... I— y'know—"
"Just turn the fuck around, Harry."
He does as he's told, shutting his eyes as he listens to her roll her tights down and step out of her leotard. One day, if she let him, he'd be more than happy to do that for her — not even in a sexual way, but he knows how tiring it can be to take off his own gear after a long game. He thinks it would be nice to be there for her.
"Okay, you're good," she murmurs. She's stuffing her things in her tote bag when he bats his eyes back open.
"Are you meeting up with anyone after this? I'm sure your friends came to see you, but I just wanted to maybe talk and... y'know, clear the air a bit." Harry says, wringing his hands nervously in his lap. Y/N furrows a brow as she analyzes his body language. She doesn't think she's actually seen him look anxious before.
"Um... no," she says with a shake of her head before quickly revising her answer, "No, I mean, I'm not meeting up with anyone and no one came to see me. Except you, I guess."
"Wait, really?"
She sighs as she pauses the process of gathering her things. "Really, Harry."
He swallows tightly. They're silent for a moment as she grabs her jacket and throws it over her shoulders.
"Come over and we'll talk. I borrowed my friend Matt's car for the night but— yeah, you can follow me to my place or whatever. And I can't promise I'll be awake for much longer but I think clearing the air could be... good."
A rush of relief makes its way through Harry's body.
"Okay. Yeah, let's do that."
. . .
"I never said it, but you were flawless tonight."
Y/N laughs breathily as she settles onto her couch, a cup of sleepy time tea in her hand. Harry rejected her offer for one (his response had been, "Y/N, do I look like someone who drinks tea with a sleeping bear on it?") but he'd be lying if he said it didn't at least smell good.
"I fucked up on one of my jetés — I'll get yelled at for it on Monday, but otherwise I'm decently content with the performance."
"Well, you couldn't tell," Harry replies, "Seriously. You were perfect."
Her cheeks warm and she stares down at her tea. Her legs are sprawled out in front of her while Harry sits on the other edge of the couch, giving her plenty of room to stretch out.
"So... clearing the air."
Harry clears his throat and nods, prepared to embark on the speech he'd been practicing in his head for weeks. But then, she speaks.
"I'm sorry for running out on you and ignoring you," she says, keeping her gaze down in her lap. "That wasn't... I'm not the best person. I'm bad at feelings and I use ballet as a crutch. I figure it's the one thing I'm really, exceptionally good at, and that should give me a pass in life but I know that's not true. I can't just go around treating people like shit because I'm... scared."
"What are you scared of?" Harry asks through furrowed brows. "I'm sorry if I stepped out of line that night, I should've been better—"
"You didn't. You were great. You did everything perfectly," she replies with a shake of her head. Her response surprises him, but he tries to hide the shock on his face. "I'm scared because you're you. You're a hotshot hockey player and, besides this showcase, you're the only other thing I've thought about these past few weeks. That's horrifying for me."
"Is this...?" Harry attempts to roll his lips into a thin line, preventing a smirk from bursting onto his face. "Is this a very Y/N way of telling me that you like me?"
She groans, as if it's the worst thing to ever happen to her, and it makes Harry laugh.
"Don't laugh at me!" she exclaims. That only makes Harry cackle even louder as he slowly crawls over to her, taking her warm cup of tea out of her hands and placing it on the coffee table.
"You're cute when you're exasperated." he murmurs. She pouts and his eyes crinkle with a grin as he peels her shaky hands away from her face.
"You're the one exasperating me."
"I know," he replies lowly, licking his lips as his face hovers over hers, "I like it."
"This isn't us agreeing to date, by the way." she quickly tacks on. He issues out a mhm as he leans forward, testing the waters, and pressing a light kiss to her nose. "We need to take it slow. Like, painfully slow. Or else I'll freak out and run away again."
"Whatever you want." he mumbles, kissing her right cheek. "I mean it."
"And you can't just overwhelm me whenever you feel like it."
He laughs and kisses her left cheek, then her forehead.
"Okay. Any other demands?"
He stops pasting kisses to her face then, instead choosing to simply loom his lips over hers. He can feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest and watches as she swallows nervously.
"No," she finally whispers. "Just kiss me."
And so he does.
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sailorholly · 1 month
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Between Us Pt. 2
Summary: You and Spencer had a casual relationship. A misunderstanding ruins it all.
Pairing: Spencer Reid × F. BAU Reader
Warnings: Friends with benefits. Angst.
See My Masterlist Here
Part One
Tonight was the night you were going to confess your feelings to Spencer. You couldn’t keep it to yourself anymore, it was too painful. You were worried you would lose him when you told him, but you thought there was a good chance he felt the same.
You spent all afternoon cooking his favorite foods, planning for a night of cuddling and love making after you got the confession out of the way. When you were finished getting dressed, Spencer knocked on your door.
You invited him in, taking your seats at the table. You ate in silence, your nerves making your stomach hurt. “I have to tell you-“ “We should talk.” You spoke over each other. You smile, giggling with excitement. Spencer wanted to talk too. This is going so well.
“You go first.” You prompt him, smiling wide at him. “These past six months have been so fun. But I think our time together should come to an end.” You try to swallow the lump in your throat, willing yourself not to cry.
“I want to keep it professional at work. We can still be friends, we will just take the sex out of it.” He explains, studying your face. All you can do is nod as he rattles on about how the statistics of such a relationship show that the longer you did it, the harder it would be to end it.
You used to love hearing him spout a million facts about whatever topic he was talking about. But not tonight. “So what did you want to tell me?” He asks, serving himself more food. “Um, I was just going to tell you that book I ordered you came this morning. I thought you would be excited.” You rise from the table, retrieving the thick book from the counter and bringing it to Spencer.
“Thanks.” His smile breaks your heart. You can feel that your attempts to keep the tears at bay are failing. “Why don’t you take the food with you? I’m suddenly not feeling well.” You tell him, as you turn your back to get the lids for the bowls. You hand them to him, turning your back as the tears start to fall. “I’m going to lay down. Lock the door behind you.”
If he thought your sudden illness had anything to do with him, he didn’t act like it. Spencer was right about nothing changing. He was the exact same as he had always been with you, just without the sex.
Spencer was heartbroken. He didn’t want to end his sexual relationship with you. But he couldn’t put himself through the pain anymore. He spent all of his spare time with you. He couldn’t keep you off his mind. Things had changed a few months ago. He had bent the rules he set in place so he wouldn’t fall for you.
You had started spending the night and cuddling. Spencer had fallen fast and hard. But he couldn’t go through every day knowing you didn’t feel the same. So he had to end it, as painful as it was for him. It was no secret that you had been hooking up. But he didn’t want to talk about it with anyone.
Until two weeks after he called it off, he was so upset, he broke down and talked to Derek. He wanted to know all the details, but Spencer only told him the important information. “I have an easy fix for you, pretty boy.” Morgan smirked at him. Spencer leaned in, excited there was a solution.
“You know what they say, if you want to get over someone, get under someone else. You just have to sleep with someone and she will be the last thing you’re thinking of. Works for me every time.” Spencer cleared his throat. “Easy for you to say. I’m lucky she agreed to sleep with me. I’ll never find someone else so quickly, and I’m not sure I would want to.”
“I know someone who has been into you since she started here.” Derek boasts, nodding his head to the blonde at the coffee pot talking to Rossi. “Ashley?” Spencer squeaked, while Derek laughed.
Ashley Seaver was one coworker you could not get used to. She was impulsive, always throwing herself into trouble. You couldn’t stand her. Not only for how she acted on the field, but for how she looked at Spencer. She wanted him, and she didn’t care who knew it. She was all over him from the second she started working at the BAU.
She even knew that you and Spencer were hooking up, but she didn’t care. She used every opportunity to touch him or say something flirty, making eye contact with you the whole time she did it. Luckily, Spencer was oblivious. When you mentioned how she hung all over him, he said he didn’t even notice. He was too busy thinking about the case or the thing you did with your tongue the night before.
So you stopped being jealous. It wasn’t like you had any right to be. You and Spencer were just hooking up. If he wasn’t interested in her, then you would just let it go. The last time she tried anything had been a month ago. You were sick and she invited Spencer to go eat after work.
Spencer being the nice guy he is, accepted her offer. While they were out, he talked about you the whole time. She had told him to stop talking about you, that she was right there and she wanted whatever he was willing to give. He politely turned her down, but she was furious. She kept her distance from both of you since then.
That’s why you were confused when you heard her squealing and giggling, saying Spencer’s name as loudly as she could. You looked up from your mountainous stack of paperwork that you came in early to work on to see Spencer hugging her.
There was a vase of roses on her desk. “I can’t believe you got these for me! What a surprise! I knew you would come around!” She almost yelled, looking directly at you. Spencer took her hand in his, “I wanted to get you something before our date tonight, but I wasn’t sure I would have time to get them after work.” He explained shyly looking at her.
That little shit! Was he actually blushing? Was he seriously going on a date with Ashley tonight? And what is with the roses? He never once got you flowers. Did he call things off with you to date her? Seeing them together made you feel sick. Actually, the temperature felt like it rose a hundred degrees. You needed to get up now. You ran to the bathroom making it just in time to throw up.
Tags
@cindylynn @wheredafandomat @multifandom-worlds @loz-3 @megharat-barnes-reid @kats72 @mochie85 @cakesandtom @spenciesprincess @kimm4710 @tmilover1993 @nomajdetective @cynbx @comboboo @13430ona @wannabewolf @weirdothatwritess @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed @freegardenbanananeck
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mmurderhousewrites · 1 month
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Rich Baby Daddy pt. one (sukuna x reader)
Summary: You're invited to a party by a close friend and end up bumping into someone from your past.
Warnings: none.
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The mornings used to be your favorite. Waking up next to your hunk of a man. The sun shining through your bedroom windows. Oh how you missed those lovely mornings.
Now however, your mornings consisted of you waking up at the crack of dawn due to your crying 4 year old. bathing and clothing not only yourself but your child as well, making breakfast, and somehow managing to get to work on time.
Now on your days off, if you were lucky, Yuji, your son, would sleep in. And if god was somehow on your side that day, your baby daddy might even come pick up his son for awhile, giving you some free time. But those days were rare considering Sukuna is a business man.
Sukuna is the CEO of jujutsu tech, a huge electronic corporation. you had met him through your close friend getou and hit it off. Eventually you two moved in with each other and not long after that he got you pregnant.
Times have changed though unfortunatley. Sukuna is a very hard working man, so hardworking that he put his job before his own family. About a year after yuji was born you decided to leave after getting into a big argument with sukuna, taking yuji with you.
At first you stayed with your parents for a while before finding yourself a cute apartment in the city, it was a two bedroom 1 and a half bathroom. That's where you and yuji have been ever since.
You and your baby dad have had a neutral relationship ever since, sukuna of course always trying to get you to go back but times have changed and you are a new woman.
As of now it was about 1:00pm. You worked as a journalist in the new station in the city, not to far from your apartment. sitting at your desk, going through old news feed, your phone dings.
Looking over you see youve gotten a message. It was from Getou.
Geto: hey, theres some kind of party later a friend of mine is hosting. Wanted to know if u were interested in being my plus 1 ;p
You giggle to yourself. What a flirt. You could always drop yuji off to your parents for the night, after all they loved your little pink haired baby. And on top of that you could use a night out.
Quickly typing back to geto you respond,
Me: Sounds interesting.. Whats the dresscode?
geto: formal. I figure you might get a good story out of one of these rich folks huh?
Me: hmmm i think im sold suguru.
geto: great! ill pick you up at 8.
"L/N! I'm not paying you to text on your phone! I need a story!" You hear your boss, Mark yell from his office behind you.
You roll your eyes before collecting your things, standing up you head over to marks office. "The Richardsons are hosting a party tonight, i'm gonna see what tea i can find. I know the juliani"s are hiding something." You say leaning against the door frame.
"yeah well the Juliani's have a mind of their own."
"im gonna leave to go get ready." you say turning around, heading to the exit.
"L/N!" Mark calls out to you making you stop and turn to face him. "be careful. I don't need another Journalist coming up missing." You nod your head before leaving the building and heading to the parking lot.
It was true, the last journalist who went to investage the Juliani family, they turned up missing. In fact it was your coworker Nobara Kugisaki. Police reports were made out by her family about a week ago and nothing has come up.
you shivered as you walked to your car, the cold making it so you can see your breathe. Once you reached your car, a small 2020 Honda civic, you opened your door and put your bags in.
"Y/n" you freeze, hearing that oh so sexy voice say your name for the first time in what? months?
Turning around you find yourself face to face with the man you once loved, oh who are you kidding still love. He was wearing a long black coat and black jeans, his pink hair ruffled as usual and his tattoos just added to his handsome features.
"ryo- what are you doing here?" You ask, crossing your arms.
He walks closer to you, making you take a step back, leaning against your cars back door.
"i just wanted to see you." He says quietly, swiping a piece of your hair out of your face and behind your ear. You can't help but blush.
Pushing his hand away, you roll your eyes. "What are you really here for" you werent an idiot. Sukuna is a powerful man and busy one at that, there was no way he got out of work just to come see you.. especially considering he barely seen your son. But you couldn't be mad after all he was sending you checks every few weeks with at least 3,000$ on them.. so he was still providing for you and yuji in a way.
He chuckles, "I heard youre going to that party later with Getou.."
Was he serious right now? "What about it?" You question, eyebrow perking up.
"Don't go." He says darkly.
"Are you kidding me? What are you jealous? I'm a grown woman i deserve a night out once in a while!" You say before turning away and hoping in your car.
Sukuna leans against your window, so you roll it down. "Look kitten, if i were you i'd actually listen to your baby dad for once. It's not gonna be pretty" he smiles before backing away from your car.
You take this opportunity to pull out of the parking lot, making your way to yuji's daycare.
When you arrive at the daycare. You are first greeted by gojo, one of the daycare teachers and also getou's best friend.
"Well hello there Y/N! Here for yuuji?" Gojo asks, leaning towards you. "Its nap time right now so the children are asleep."
"Well unfortunately i'm going to have ti disturb his sleep because we have a pretty busy schedule for tonight" you laugh. "How have you been?" You havent really had a conversation with gojo in a while, you and him werent close, maybe because of how much of an extrovert he is.
"Im alriiight! I got a new apartment on 37th its a real beautyy." He drags on.
"Nice! Thats good to here" gojo pulls out his walky talky and yells loudly, "yuji has an early dismissal!!"
Next thing you know, theres a bunch of crying children in the next room over. What an idiot. You mentally facepalm.
Shoko, another daycare teacher comes out with yuji in her arms. He looks over to you and smiles.
After you get yuji and yourself situated in the car, you guys make your way over to your parents house. You had called them on your way to get yuji and of course they were more then thrilled to take yuji for the night.
Your parents lived anout 25 minutes away from the city so the drive wasnt too bad. Yuji was in his carseat playing on his ipad and minding his business.
"Mommy can i have 100$" your four year old says randomly. You cant help but laugh loudly.
"What do you need $100 for butt?" You ask, looking back at your som through the rear view mirror.
"I want a trampoline" he says, looking at you.
"You already have a trampoline at Nana's house and youre going there right now."
"But thats at nana's i want my own! My friend megumi has one at his house" he says, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah yeah."
After dropping your sin off to your parents, and making your way make home, you look through your closet trying to find a decent formal dress. You did have quit a few dresses considering you and sukuna would attend parties and other get togethers for business reasons.
Coming across a long black velvet dress you stop your search. This dress is skin tight and strapless, but has small diamonds adorned around the dress, making it sparkle just right.
Once you got dressed and finished your makeup, you put your hair up into a slick back ponytail, and added a little star charm clip to go with it. You looked absolutely gorgeous. Though your choice in heels would definitely make your feet sore after a night of dancing, looking good is what truly mattered. After all you were really only going to collect some dirt on any of the business men doing work with the Juliani's.
Tonight sure was going to be interesting.
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nereidprinc3ss · 2 months
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better late than never
in which uni student fem!reader finally shares exactly what she's been worried about with spencer
18+ for pregnancy scare warnings/tags: pregnancy scare, reader doesn't want to be pregnant, age gap (unspecified) a/n: listennn lots of you guys asked for more spence x uni reader... but u didn't specify WHAT u wanted... so now we're fantasizing about pregnancy scares because we're all what?? say it with me!! MENTALLY ILL!!!!
For the fifth time, you have to restart the paragraph you were reading. For the fifth time, it doesn’t make any sense—words strung together like clashing beads on a dancing string, blurred together by the tears you’ve been fighting all day. Anthropology is by far the easiest of the six classes you’re taking this quarter, but suddenly completing this routine assignment feels like scaling a mountain. It is, of course, nothing in comparison to the catalytic source of your immense stress. The thing you’ve been trying to ignore for nearly a week, and as a result, have become more and more obsessive about. 
A flare of rage overwhelms you and you slam your laptop shut. Then as quickly as it appeared, it dissipates, cooling to desolation as you bury your face in your hands with a sob. You hear paper shuffling from the desk where Spencer has been silently working and you try to reign in your emotions, but it’s too late. 
“Hey,” he says gently as he approaches, slowing to a stop in front of your spot on the couch. “What’s going on with you?”
You sniff, quickly brushing the tears away with trembling hands. But your voice is thick and strained when you fruitlessly attempt to lie. 
“Nothing.”
When you refuse to look up at him, he kneels down in front of you. 
“Really? This doesn’t have anything to do with why you’ve been so quiet these past few days?”
Of course, he noticed. You were a fool for thinking he wouldn’t. Finally you break, looking to him for subconscious comfort. And he’s looking up at you so earnestly, with so much genuine concern in those puppy dog eyes, that the waterworks threaten to start up all over again. Your lip quivers. 
“I can’t tell you,” you squeak. 
“That’s a really scary thing for me to hear. Do you understand why?” His voice is calm, carefully grabbing your hand and bringing to his heart. “Because I need to know if something happened to you.”
You shake your head tearfully, looking down at where you’re weakly grasping the front of his shirt. 
“‘s not like that,” comes your reedy whisper. “Nobody hurt me or anything, I just—I don’t want you to get mad at me.”
“I won’t get mad, I won’t,” he promises desperately, “right now I just want to know what I can do to make this better. I hate seeing you like this.”
A shuddering sigh forces its way out of your lungs. You suppose this is the kind of thing you probably should tell your boyfriend about, as petrifying as it may be.  
“I don’t know, I… I’ve just been freaking the fuck out because I’m worried I’m pregnant, and this would be the worst possible timing—like I know I want kids one day but I’m still in college and you’re like a real adult with an adult career and I don’t want to fuck that up for you and I know that even if I am pregnant I have choices but that’s still so scary and… and I don’t know.”
You’re expecting a long pause, punctuated by some berating and bemoaning, but it never comes. Spencer doesn’t miss a beat. 
“Honey, this is exactly the kind of thing you tell me about,” he says, voicing your earlier thoughts. And he doesn’t even sound furious. You glance up, watching his visage swim beyond your teary eyes. “I am not mad. That wouldn’t make any sense. Do you know who’s fault it would be if you accidentally got pregnant?”
“Well—"
“Mine. So if this ever happens again, please don’t keep it to yourself for so long. I won’t be mad at you for something like this, ever.”
“But… you’re not worried?”
He shakes his head slowly, looking utterly unperturbed. 
“I wouldn’t be worried either way. But no, I’m not concerned that you’re pregnant. We’re really safe. The chances of you being pregnant are essentially negligible.”
“But I’m two weeks late.”
“That can happen when you’re taking six upper level classes,” he agrees, swiping your cheek with a thumb. “You’re under a lot of stress. I’m completely unsurprised that your body is reacting to it.”
A weight like a ton of bricks is lifted from your shoulders, but doubt still lingers. 
Spencer sees the hesitation in your eyes. 
“Would it make you feel better to take a test? Just in case?”
You nod gingerly, wrapping your hand around his wrist. He takes it in both of his, kissing the back before dropping them to your lap. 
“Okay. I’ll go get a couple. But I’m confident that you have nothing to worry about, and I’m usually right about these things.”
You take another deep breath, the last of the anxiety floating away with it. He’s usually right about everything. 
“Spence?”
“Yeah,” he murmurs, brushing your palm with his thumb and looking at you with so much love in his eyes. 
“Do you maybe feel like doing my homework for me?”
He smiles. 
“Nice try. Get it done and we can go out for dinner, okay?”
“Always worth a shot,” you shrug. 
He laughs, shaking his head as he stands. 
“And the answer will always be no.”
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bombuni · 10 days
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contains: poly!ateez x gn!reader, soft ateez taking care of u, non-verbal and self-isolating reader, implied depressed/chronically ill reader
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you: babies i think it’s better if you don’t come over tonight
joong: Everything ok?
minmin: but im hungry and u said u’d make dinner :(
woo: WE’RE HUNGRY!!! OM NOM NOM
you: just not feeling it tonight. sorry
You shut your phone off with guilt weighing in your heart. You had promised your boys a nice home-made dinner after a hard week full of non-stop practicing. You knew they’d been looking forward to it the entire week, the stress-free time they’d get to spend with you, but, there’s a pit in your stomach that’s been growing the past week and now it’s big enough to stop you from doing anything else but wallow in your thoughts. Now the guilt just adds to it.
There’s times when you don’t have energy for anything. Not even for your favorite people on Earth and it’s simply your body’s fault. At least you try to tell yourself that.
There’s no response to your last message and you sent it an hour ago. Usually you’d be suspicious about the lack of whining and bickering, but you’re just too tired to worry as fatigue fogs your senses. You’re set for a night of self-pity when your front door unlocks, myriads of voices barging in and breaking the calm of your apartment. You already feel a headache coming on as Wooyoung, like usual, argues about whatever hill he’s chosen to die on.
You want to get up to greet them, but somethings stopping you. The pit in your stomach almost weighs you down, your limbs too heavy to move now. You sigh and surrender to your body’s fatigue.
Seonghwa watches you with a sad look on his face. He knows all the tell-tale signs of your sad ruts by now, the most obvious of all being when you go out of your way to isolate yourself. It hurts him because he wants to help you, but he‘s not quite sure how to do it right with you.
“Sweet thing,” he coos quietly and lays a gentle hand atop yours, “how do you feel?”
His attention turns a switch on in you, feeling yourself melt against his soft touch and caring voice. You shrug, feeling a loss of words. You don’t really have any to describe how you feel. Or rather, there’s a boulder in your throat stopping you from even attempting to say anything.
Hongjoong and San walk over, the latter immediately scooping you up into his arms despite Seonghwa’s protests. Hongjoong leans over the back of the couch, carding his fingers through your hair and tutting at the state you’re in.
“You’re not getting rid of us that easy, you know,” he mumbles.
San looks right at you even if you won’t meet his eyes, trying his best to communicate the worry he has because he knows words don’t work with you when you’re like this. Seonghwa flicks San’s forehead, pulling a loud noise of protest out of him, “Aren’t you supposed to be helping in the kitchen?”
San responds by pulling you tightly against him and closing his eyes in bliss. Seonghwa grumbles something about disrespect, but walks away to help in the kitchen himself. It’s starting to feel a little warm with San’s irresistible need to touch you and Hongjoong’s eyes not once leaving your form. It gets unbearably hot when you feel Mingi’s lips against the crown of your head, Wooyoung doing the same and immediately jumping into gently scolding you for pushing them away.
Hongjoong wants to agree but he knows it’s not what you need right now. He shushes Wooyoung, “Did you take your meds yet?”
You shake your head. Yunho walks up to you, bending down to hand you your medicine with a kind smile on his face. He takes your hand in his when you swallow your pills, kissing each of your knuckles gently, as if he fears scaring you away.
“Here.” Yeosang passes you a glass of water. There’s eight pairs of eyes on you and you can feel each one. It’s like they’re watching a zoo animal on display and you’d laugh at the thought in any other circumstance.
Jongho stands across you, intently staring you down, “You know you can’t just expect us to leave you alone, right?”
San pulls your head into his chest and throws protective arms over you as if you’re a kid getting a scolding, “Don’t be mean.”
Jongho is about to retort before Seonghwa stops him, “Ok! Ok, what Jongho means,” he kneels down next to Yunho with a gentle expression aimed at you, “Is that we want to help you, sweetheart. And it’s hard to do that when you don’t allow us to,”
Yeosang scratches at his neck as he finds the words, “We know it’s hard for you to do that, but…”
Hongjoong continues for him, “We’re just asking that you try at least. Okay?”
You hesitantly nod into San’s chest and you feel him let out a sigh of relief. Wooyoung speaks up from behind you, “You’re hogging ‘em, Sannie,”
He shakes his head violently and hugs you tighter, “No ‘m not.”
Mingi grimaces, “You totally are.”
It’s all-out war again and your body shakes between theirs as each one tries to take you for themselves. San’s still got a good grip on you as Yunho, Seonghwa, and Jongho fight to pull him off of you. Wooyoung and Mingi stand back and argue with San, really the only thing they’re good for. Hongjoong and Yeosang grimace and watch the events unfold, only waiting to step in if they notice you get overwhelmed.
But you don’t. You feel warm and loved and happy, and there’s a bubble of laughter forming in your throat and surpassing the boulder that was stuck in you before. You’ll take it one step at a time, and they’ll take that step with you.
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bom note: this is for the gays with chronic fear of being emotionally vulnerable. i tried to make readers issues as vague as possible for u. Also realistically i would not want 8 men all up in my space when im in one of these moods but it’s fantasy ok shhh
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 2 months
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Crinkled Polaroids
Ex-boyfriend!Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
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Hi my lovelies, Lia here and I'd just like to say that this took so long and so much effort, I really poured my heart out on this one and I hope it goes well. Recently my biggest heartbreaks are the "What ifs", what if you two worked it out? Would things be different? Would Simon have the life you've dreamed for the both of you and the one he's been deprived of?
You might be asking me "Lia, what's up with all the angsty content recently, aren't you a fluff dedicated blog?" Well I feel ill, I just got off an extremely busy week and most of my drafts have been never ending angst because I lost ideas of a domestic fam with Simon but I still need to get something out for you guys okay? A random bedtime scenario written down at 3am and for the rest of my midnights during a photoshoot and exam week, what could go wrong?
I'm still waiting on what my beloved @connorsui's review has to say 👀
Disclaimers/Warnings: This is not proofread, also ANGST.
My CoD Masterlist
Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thesnowurzikdjinn @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @fawnchives @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000
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A relationship with Simon Riley going south, at first it started great as most relationships do with several minor bumps due to his past but no big deal right?
But Simon distances himself, more than what's healthy and yes, you do give him his space but there's only little time until closing and distancing off for a while could turn into something like neglect.
Little things like "I love you"s, "thank you"s and every verbal affirmation that you used to think you could cling onto was now non-existent, it hurts but isn't as hurtful when he refuses to touch you.
Back hugs you give would only give you a cold shrug in return, kisses you left were on cold chapped lips that remain still. At this point, you were better off loving someone dead.. then again, aren't you already doing so?
The life you've imagined for the both of you cease to fade in your head as the true reality of the man you love sets in, that dumb idea your younger self who had rose tinted glasses had to actually settle down with someone in such a short period of time of a few years.
You felt so unappreciated, it seemed like no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get him to see you. You felt cheated of the relationship you were supposed to have with him when you see others with the one you love and how he acts around everyone except you. You felt like nothing but a chore to him, an occasional fuck who cleans his home.
Then again, this is a broken man, you felt entitled to ask such a thing of him when he himself is also just healing from what his past had caused.
In Simon's eyes, he was doing you a favor, fucked up in his part thinking hurting you is the best way to save you from himself. It worked, that's what he wanted.. right?
So you leave, it was best for the both of you anyway right? Simon deserves someone who could actually make him happy and you deserve to feel loved in a relationship. Simon's life was a mess, truly, but he didn't realize how much more of a mess it was without you.
Coming home to an empty shell of a house, nothing to look forward to. He found himself almost on the brink of insanity, moving things all over his own home as if you were still there.
Always finding himself staring at that one wornout and creased polaroid of you and him, you were a silly one huh? A hobby of yours that left so much proof of your existence.
Begging him to be in a picture, bribing him with a kiss. Slightly smudged and distorted but still legible pen ink at the back as he flips the flimsy piece of thick, shiny paper.
Keep him safe for me, Ghost.
- Your favorite girl <3
You always thought of him as Simon and Ghost as just an alter ego, a mask that he needs to wear in order to stomach the violence that comes with his occupation.
You were the only one who can differentiate these two people. Tears started to form in his eyes but he blinks it away and shoves the polaroid back in his wallet.
He only started noticing changes when Johnny points out that he's become stone cold, a lot more silent, though he was known to be a ghost.. a shadow.. it wasn't like him to not even try to light up his mood with his dark jokes.
Everytime Simon thinks he gets over the pain, there's always one thing in that stupid house that reminded him of you. You weren't there but it sure felt like that you haunted every corner of the house and his mind.
Whether that'd be something you gifted him or an item of yours left behind, especially when the two of you shared moments with those items, oftentimes Simon tries to relive those, preserve his fading memory of your face.
This is what happens when the decisions you make have consequences on the one that your world revolves around.
A few years down this lane, nothing has changed for Simon, at some part of this never ending low point in his life he was under substance abuse.. alcohol to be specific, since to him it was easier. In concern of his captain, he did get help for it to which had progress.
Ghost kept it together, "today was a day to celebrate Gaz" he thought, blowing out the nicotinic smoke and flicking the ash off his cigarette after.. he knew Ghost's thing was more of a "let's drink and play pool in a pub" rather than a sit-down dinner kind of guy but Kyle insisted.
He thought about how awkward it was, although Ghost felt like he knew Kyle's family just from the lovesick fool himself who would never shut up, always finding a way to talk about his wife and their two kids.
After another puff, he throws the cigarette butt on the pavement and grinds the sole of his shoe over it, the soft hiss for the cigarette evoking, proving it was put out.
Simon walked a few blocks till stopping at the Sergeant's described location, his footsteps made smooth, satisfying taps on the wood floorboards of the porch and he knocks.
Price took liberty of being the one to open the door for Simon because the family was busy, Simon walked through the front door with ease, seeing Johnny somewhat interacting with a kid.
He was welcomed by the a cozy looking space, it was homey and clearly occupied, the shoes lined up on the shoe rack next to the door from the largest pair to the tiniest which was such a far contrast from his empty gloomy apartment.
The kid caught glimpse of Simon, they run up to him and take his hand to guide him into the living room as of to welcome him before bringing back their attention to Johnny and somewhat messing with his stubby mohawk.
The lieutenant observed his surroundings, the little toys and picture frames hung around the house, for a moment his heart drops to his stomach, he blinks thinking he must've been imagining things. Simon walked closer to it, he wasn't imagining it.. that was you, in a wedding dress, in the photo with Kyle.
You looked glowing.. as if you've never looked better in your life, that heart stopping smile on your face, the flowery bouquet on your hands. The green of stems highlight the precious metal band on your finger. Of all the people, places and time, why here? Why now? Why Kyle..?
For a few seconds, just a few when Simon thought his nerves and gut settled, he heard the sweetest voice that was all he knew.
He forgot what it sounded like, the effect it had on him, all too overwhelming for a man who tried desperately to run away from the consequences of his actions. I guess that saying that once you don't hear someone's voice as frequently, you start to forget what they sound like.
For once, the ringing in his ear is gone. Just your voice, all he needed, he closed his eyes for a few soaking in the fact that you're here. For a moment he forgets to take into account that you weren't his. You and Simon make eye contact, the smile on your face drops as soon as you realize who is in your home.. who your husband invited..
Dinner came around, you tried your best to stomach the food you made, every swallow was a challenge. You spent most of your time staring at the food below you, afraid to even spare a glance at Simon. He was as uneasy as you were, telling the group he had to go to the bathroom as an excuse to explore what you now view as your home. The place you built your family together with your husband.
Simon uses the stealth he was known for to sneak in all the rooms, starting with the closest, the kitchen. The pictures on the fridge were enough to catch his attention, polaroids were something he was all too familiar with. Photos of the kids littered on the cold metal box with magnets others were of you and Kyle.
Everywhere he glances was proof of the life you built, the life you could've had together if he hadn't taken you for granted. Simon returned to the table a few minutes later, you easily notice the sudden drop of his mood to solemn.
Constantly closing his eyes, the lieutenant's head was spinning, taking in the fact that Garrick was able to settle down with you in those few years, the same amount of time you'd been together and you both were never close to achieving what you had now.
The night ended with the mens' satisfied stomachs while you and Kyle play-fight about who gets to do the dishes. As all of them were about to leave, you gathered what little guts you had to at least try to talk to Simon as he's the last one out the door, away from the ears of your husband who's currently doing the dishes because the last thing you'd want is to ruin their friendship.
"Goodbye Si.."
Simon never thought he'd hear that nickname out of your lips ever again, he stopped, his feet felt like they were sinking on the ground. Before he knew it, Simon was back on your porch, squeezing you so tight. You tried to pull away but he only held tighter, head rested on your shoulder.
"One last, lovie.. please.." you sigh, your arms wrapping around him, you tried your best to sooth him as your palm runs up and down his back. You felt the sleeve of your shirt getting damp, Simon didn't cry often, but this was different. It wasn't silent at all like you were used to, he was straight up sobbing.
Simon pulled back slowly, you saw his puffed up and flushed face against his pale skin. You felt bad for Simon however what happened is what happened and you were content where you were no matter how much pain the past brings you.
Simon knows you're happy, he sees it, he cups your cheek with his hand. He was about to lean in and kiss your forehead like he always used to but he stops himself.
He wanted to be selfish, he wanted you again but he can't do that to Kyle and he knows this would only upset you so just like before, with a heavy heart he leaves.
Simon will forever let that sink into his heart, the only one he's ever love will forever be engrained in his mind. You will always be his favorite girl..
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darlingshane · 4 months
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Dirty Laundry
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Shane Walsh x F!Reader
Summary: Shane doesn't approve of the way you do laundry. He tries to school you, but he loves you so much he can't really stay mad at you for long, especially when you start taking your clothes off.
Content/Warnings: 18+. Explicit, Smut, Crack, Oral Sex (f. recieving), Vaginal sex, Pet Names, Bratty reader. No ZA.
Word Count: 1.9k // AO3 Link.
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You were aware Shane had his quirks before moving in together. Some you already knew, like having five pairs of boots from the same brand, or the way he chews his thumbnail when he’s nervous, or how he frantically runs his hand on his hair when he’s pissed… Most of those were quickly revealed after you started dating. Others you'd only come aware of them upon moving in together.
One that is highly surprising is his obsession with laundry. You noticed that his clothes were always perfectly clean and ironed as he wore them on any occasion you went out, no matter how fancy or casual. But once you were sharing the same bedroom, you found out that even his underwear is always neatly pressed and folded in the drawer as if it had just come out of the package. With how much he works, you always thought he'd have taken to a cleaners or something, but that’s not the case. He not only cares for his own clothes but making laundry is something he actually enjoys. It relaxes him, he says. Which it’s the complete opposite for you. It makes you anxious anytime you have to do it. Especially the folding and sorting part. When you lived alone, there was always a pile sitting on that chair in the corner of your room. But not anymore. Now that you are living with Shane there are no more random piles collecting dust for days at a time in any chair of the house. Anytime he does laundry, you come home to find your drawers perfectly organized. It’s not something you can complain about because Shane is a true dream of a partner. Quirks and all, you wouldn’t have it any other way. So, in return, any time it’s your turn to make laundry, no matter how much you hate it, you make the minimal effort to at least take the same care of his clothes as he does for yours. Though you could tell that sometimes he doesn’t approve of your messy folding technique, and has to rearrange them when you’re not around, he never says anything either.
But today, when it's your turn to do laundry, he comes home to catch you transferring all the dirty clothes from the hamper into the washing machine, both yours and his without much regard of type, color, texture… That's how you've always done it. Yes, it's messy, and you've had a couple of mishaps, but nothing really atrocious ever happened. You never put that much thought into it, to be honest. It's just clothing. But not for Shane. Watching his precious shirts, and uniform with the rest of the load makes him physically ill. He stares at you as if you were killing a puppy.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he goes off, taking stuff out of the washer. “You can't mix delicates with towels. And what the fuck is this?” he picks up a pair of dirty sneakers from the bottom of the drum. “You were really gonna wash them with all these? You're a fuckin’ savage.”
You lean against the dryer and try not to burst into laughter at how annoyed he is. It's kinda cute actually to see him frown at you with scorn, and hearing his voice pitch a little higher than usual.
These past few weeks, you've been collecting a series of firsts since you moved into your new home. The first time you cooked in your new kitchen, the first time you disagreed when it came to rearranging the living room furniture, the first night you woke him up when you heard a strange noise in the hallway… And today it's the first time you've truly seen him irritated.
“It's just clothes, babe. Who cares?”
“I care.” He frantically goes through the heap of clothes, divorcing them into several piles on top of the washer. “Please tell me at least you're not using the speed cycle to wash everything.”
“What? It saves time, water, electricity…”
“Yeah, but at what cost.”
“Gee, it's not like I murdered someone.”
“You were about to murder my uniform. That's the real crime.”
“Hmm, you look better without it anyway.” You tease, reaching with your hand to pinch his booty covered by a pair of jeans.
“Stop, this is serious.” Shane stays firm in his position but tries to hide one corner of his mouth pulling up into a half-smile. “Look, I’m gonna show you how it’s done.”
“Ohh, fun. I'm about to get schooled by the laundry police. Please enlighten me, Officer.”
You roll your eyes and half listen to him explaining the washer’s control panel to you as if you were an idiot. It’s not that you don’t know how to use it, it’s that you’re lazy and rather put everything together and save time. Then, he proceeds to elaborate on which categories you should separate the different types of fabrics.
“That would take me all day if I have to do that many loads.”
“So? That’s what weekends are for?”
“Noooo. Weekends are for resting, watching movies, and chilling.”
“Who said you can't have that too?”
“You! I think I lost five years of my life by just listening to you explaining how to do laundry.”
“You’re being a little brat today.”
“Am I now?” You smirk and push one of the piles he had on top of the washer to the floor. “Whoops.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doin’?”
“Nothing.” You push the next one.
“You're playing a dangerous game, darling.”
“Yeah? I just want you to teach me again how to do it.” Next, you grab the hem of the t-shirt you’re wearing, pull it over your head and dangle it in your finger. “Where should I put this, deputy?”
“I'd put it up your ass. Bet it'd look real nice there.”
You snort and let the shirt fall to the floor.
“What about this, Mr. Delicate?” you unclasp your bra, slip the straps off your arms, and drape it on his shoulder. “Do you like it there?”
Then, you brace your palms on his chest, your lips draw a grin as you lean to whisper closer to his mouth. “Or do you want me to put it back on?”
“Don't fucking dare putting it back on?” He mutters, swatting the bra off his shoulder before having his hand holding your jaw firmly.
There's actually no other choice for him than to join your little game. Laundry be damned when it comes to choosing between you or clothes.
Licking his lips, he pulls his head back, eyes roaming down to your bare chest as you move your hands to hold his waist. When his stare travels back up, you both lock eyes for a second before having his mouth pressed against yours with a sloppy, pushing flick of his tongue forcing itself past your lips.
His hand keeps your head still while he shoves your back against the wall. His free hand snakes its way under the waistband of your sweatpants at the front. His fingers shamelessly rub your pussy back and forth over your panties, tucking the fabric in your slit. Hitting all the right spots, he earns a good moan out of you.
All of a sudden, his tongue comes to a stop. His hand too. Shane drops to his knees. From that position he pulls your sweatpants down to your ankles and grabs your hips as his tongue juts out to draw a wet circle around your navel. He then trails down, as your skin comes alive into goose flesh. He yanks your underwear down your legs to join your pants at the floor before having his mouth shoved at the junction of your hips. His mouth travels all over your sex, leaving kisses and nibbles your outer lips, licking your folds, teasing your clit…
“Shane… Fuck…” you bury your fingers in his hair and pull tight as the tip of his tongue circles your opening.
Your body writhes against the hard surface holding your back, your grip tightens on his hair while his lips viciously start sucking your clit. Your pussy melts as much as any time he goes down on you and just as fast as before, his mouth is suddenly gone before the job is done, leaving that sweet aching lingering all over your cunt. He lifts his stare to seize your unsatisfied expression as you gasp for air. He quickly yanks his shirt off before holding your hips and bringing you down to the floor.
“C’mere, dirty lil brat,” he growls, and you yelp as he manhandles your body, rolling you to your back right on top of the pile of dirty laundry you tossed to the floor.
Shane removes the clothing hanging around your ankles and sets your knees widely apart so he can kneel in between. He unzips his jeans, pulls them down to the middle of his thighs along with his boxer briefs to release his erection. He’s hard as rock. The flared tip of his dick is swollen and red, begging for some friction. There’s a dark shine in his eyes that matches the glossy layer of your juices smeared all over his lips and chin. As he lowers his body down, you frame his face with both your palms, pull his face closer to capture his mouth while he blindly guides himself into your opening. Your core knots tightly as he pushes all his length up to the hilt. His breathing shallows as you devour his mouth with hunger. He comfortably settles on top of you, holding one of his arms on the side of your head while his other hand clutches to your hips. His thrusts come sharp and steady, filling the room with the relentless slapping of his hips against your skin and the desperate sounds of your kisses.
“God, I love you,” you groan in his mouth.
“Love you more, sweetheart.”
You breathe the air of his lungs, eat his tongue and swallow the sweet grunts that come out of his throat one beat at a time as you both lose the ability to draw deeper breaths. His cock swiftly comes in and out of you as your legs tremble and lock. You move your hands to hold his ass as the erratic waving of his hips drives you out of your mind. A pulse later you're hit with a mighty climax that almost makes you lose consciousness. As your walls flutter around his thickness he spills all his warm juices deep in your walls.
“Fuck me,” his voice falters as he slips out of you.
He lays flat on top of you for a moment as your orgasm slowly ebbs. His skin is warm and damp against yours as your palm glides up his back to comb the hairs at his nape.
“Oh god, now the laundry is dirtier than before,” you laugh softly as his smile grows wide against your neck.
“And whose fault is that, huh?” he lifts his head to look at you with an eyebrow slightly raised.
“Technically… it’s yours. If you had let me do it as I wanted, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Ain’t that right?” he playfully pinches your side making you jolt and chuckle.
“I mean… I’d rather do you than do laundry, so I'm not complaining.”
“Yeah?” he sweetly dips to leave a chaste peck on your lips. “I'd rather do you, too.”
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phntmeii · 7 months
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Slashers and Hanahaki Disease
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[SFW + No Gendered Terms]
Hanahaki Disease: A fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies.
Characters: Poly!Ghostface(Billy Loomis, Stu Macher), PreMichael!Corey Cunningham, Hannibal Lecter(TV Ver.), Jason Voorhees, RZ!Michael Myers
General Warnings: Mainly fluffy w/ happy endings, Mentions of death, Mentions of vomiting/gagging
A/N: Half the listed characters will have Hanahaki disease while the other half the reader has Hanahaki disease. Some other notes, I sped up how quickly Hanahaki affects people to a few weeks at max and included what type of flower I think would best fit in these situations :) Most are related to heartbreak, loss, death/rebirth, unrequited love.
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Poly!Ghostface - Billy Loomis and Stu Macher
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Flower Type: Purple Hyacinth
You had taken some days off of class, feeling too sick to go. Your parents didn’t believe you but you looked the definition of ill.
And heartbreak was just the cherry on top for you. Whether you had feelings for Billy or for Stu was already confusing but on top of that, you felt like you weren’t either of their types.
You had seen the people they went out with over the years and you were just never like them. Your own love life was failure after failure but it's not like they were offering themselves up in their place.
You were just the bestfriend in your mind. That’s all. And soon enough, violet petals were being thrown up into the toilet bowl every few hours and you could feel your lungs filling, getting hard to breathe over time.
Both Billy and Stu thought it was weird you skipped class. You’d at least give a heads up beforehand. Billy was more worried than Stu was.
He visited through your window at night to check in on you just to catch you in a pile of violet flowers across your bed covers while you laid there, casually watching a movie while you occasionally coughed some more up.
“What the fuck is that? Are you okay? Me and Stu thought you up and died.”
Looking over, you gave a weak smile in response. “Feels like I am.”
Soon you heard some clanging from the window Billy came in from and found Stu stumbling in, nearly knocking some things down before he hopped back up.
Stu gave a goofy smile as he held up some bottles before Billy looked at him with unamused eyes and snatched the bottles out of his hands as if to say, “Not now.”
Sitting down with you, asking what was wrong. You tried to explain but it sounded so silly. Throwing up flowers? And for seemingly no reason.
“Well… There’s diseases that are caused by stress? You think it’s something like that? Come on. You’ve been acting like shit for the past few weeks.”
You sat there between them and could think of one main thing but… How stupid that sounded. You didn’t want to say it.
Stu shook your shoulders playfully before getting smacked in the back of the head by Billy. “Come on! Tell us! What’s so embarrassing~?”
You sighed and reluctantly explained. You had a crush on them—your bestfriends—and you were definitely not their type. You were completely embarrassed, covering your mouth as you coughed up a few more violet petals.
Billy and Stu stared at each other after you said that, as if silently communicating to one another. Billy slowly smirked while Stu started laughing and wrapped his arms around you from the side.
“Seriously?! Holy shit, dude! You seriously haven’t noticed we were totally into you too?!”
You couldn’t even process what Stu said with how tight he squeezed you with his hug. By the time you finally noticed, you were once again distracted when you felt two different hands holding your jaw as Billy leaned in from one side while Stu leaned in the other and kissed your cheeks.
“ We’ve been into you forever…” Those small words felt like they made room within your lungs again.
PreMichael!Corey Cunningham
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Flower Type: Red Salvia
Corey had met you in passing and you didn’t mind becoming friends with him. He was an awkward nerd and it was a trait you found charming to be friends with.
But to Corey, it was hell when he discovered the petals that soon formed and flew out of his mouth.
He had developed a crush on you immediately when he met you. You were simultaneously his heaven and hell. Someone so nice to him and yet the reason he found it harder and harder to breathe.
He avoided you for a week or so. He was so used to self-isolating himself when something went wrong. Deal with it himself as he always did.
Corey figured it was connected to you. It started the day after he felt those feelings rise in him. To make sure, he visited the doctor’s and found the term: Hanahaki Disease. And it was because of you.
He didn’t want to say anything about it. His fate was sealed in his eyes. But… maybe?
He decided to send a text to meet up. Better to talk about it in person even if it made him nervous to.
“Hey… I- I really didn’t want to y’know bother you or anything-“ “Corey, you don’t bother me. It’s alright. What is it?”
Corey shyly looked down and smiled to himself. God, it hurt to think that you wouldn’t like him. You were so perfect for him.
“I know this is gonna sound weird and if I'm honest I thought it was weird too. I-I’m… dying. From uh… Not having requited love...” As if on queue, he coughed, revealing red petals flying out of his mouth to the ground.
You were obviously immediately worried. To hear such heavy words from Corey made your heart drop. You had to ask who. Maybe he could still convince them to share the same feelings.
Corey scratched the back of his head, looking away. He didn’t want to say it. Especially since he didn’t want to leave you with the news that it was because of you that he had an expiration date coming soon.
“It’s… you. It’s always been you.”
A few whole Red Salvia flowers came out of his mouth after the confession. He grew increasingly embarrassed, wanting to take back his words already. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Just let his life take its course and end quick without you knowing.
But then, those moments of silence were interrupted by you approaching and placing a gentle kiss on his lips. His lips were slightly chapped from nerves and his overthinking made him think he should’ve done something about them sooner but he was more focused on how soft you felt. His heart swelled at the touch while his hands went to your cheeks, deepening the kiss further out of pure need.
Hannibal Lecter
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Flower Type: Red Spider Lily
Hannibal was not one to ever be sick. It rarely happened, if ever. He took care of his health perfectly.
When he started to feel himself grow ill, he immediately knew something was wrong. Coughing was one thing but it was a completely different thing to find himself feeling the urge to vomit and finding flowers fly out of his mouth.
Staring at the red flowers in the toilet bowl, he already knew it wasn’t something normal. In fact, he already knew what it was.
The knowledgeable man he was, Hanahaki was a term that came to mind but with a sense of confusion.
He didn’t necessarily care for people like others did. His “care” for other people was a mask of feigned empathy. Not real.
But if he had this disease, something was different. And it was love of all things? It complicated everything.
There was only one person that came to mind that could possibly fit the supposed feeling he felt: You. His patient.
He kept it hidden still. Suffering in silence because falling in love was not something he was interested in. It would cloud his emotions.
And yet, he began asking about your love life during your sessions. Previous relationships, expectations of love, etc. A collection of information to mold himself into what you wanted.
He invited you over for dinners more and presented you with flowers each session. Each bouquet with meaning and cleanly composed together.
You were his muse. The focus of his musical compositions and the focus of his sketches when he had free time.
His eyes even sparkled softly toward you sometimes if you looked close enough.
But Hannibal knew his days were numbered and he had to say something before the flowers filled his lungs and killed him.
Eventually, he couldn’t take it. His vomiting became more frequent and he could feel how difficult it was to breathe.
After one of your dinners with him and he was walking you to the door, he stopped you. Taking your chin between his fingers, he gently tilted your face to look at him.
“My dear… Please indulge me in my desire for you. It’s grown insatiable.”
He started to lean in toward your lips. He’d memorized the shape a thousand times over through his sketches by now. Each quick line put to paper was a written wish to feel them on his own. “I’ll grow mad without knowing what you taste like.”
His eyes met yours when he was centimeters away from your lips, breath mixing into one another’s. “Tell me you wish the same.”
His eyes looked to you with a slight desperation to them. Once he received the confirmation, that soft whisper of a “Yes…”, he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours and felt like life had been breathed into him.
Jason Voorhees
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Flower Type: Lily of the Valley
Jason hadn't thought about romance much in his life, not thinking he'd be fortunate to experience it. He thought he had a face only his mother could love after all.
Finding you, you were never mean to him. If anything, you were solely kind to him and he was happy at the treatment.
Then worry set in when he noticed you weren't coming to the cabin as often. You usually visited and left some meals for him and candles to dedicate to his mother.
He worried heavily. Jason automatically believed he was in the wrong. Maybe he had scared you or had done something wrong. He was never good at social cues or interacting with people.
He sat there, waiting for you to come back. You wouldn't completely leave right? Or maybe something happened to you? What if you were dead?
Jason could only find his worries settled when he heard footsteps and saw you again. He immediately rushed out and hugged you.
He signed, "Where have you been?? I was so worried!"
Jason noticed you seemed paler than normal and you looked exhausted. "Are you okay? Are you sick?"
He didn't know how to take care of someone who was sick. His mother always took care of him. But he was willing to try.
"I... Yeah. I'm sick, Jason. I've been sick for a week or so now. Vomiting and all."
You couldn't see his expression but he was certainly concerned. He placed a hand on your shoulder. "I'll take care of you."
Whether you wanted to or not, Jason was already dragging you inside and sitting you down. He didn't know how to help, only that he wanted to help.
That's when you coughed and small white petals flew out of your mouth and into your lap. Jason tilted his head at that. Flowers? He had never heard of someone coughing up flowers before.
Jason forcibly kept you in the cabin until you could get better. You were his only friend. The only one who treated him like a person. He didn't want to lose that.
Few days pass and nothing. Petals had become full flowers with stems needing to be yanked out. You gagged each time you had to rip out the flower by its stem.
You thought you might die. A sickness you had never heard of along with it getting quickly worse? You couldn't help but recognize where this was going.
You laid beside Jason at night. He was attached to the hip with you in your stay. You figured now was a better time than never saying it at all.
You took his hand into yours, something that made Jason give you his full attention. "Jason. I just wanted you to know that... I love you. I need you to know that."
Jason could feel his heart jolt at that confession. It was said in a more sad tone than a happy one but all the same, it was the words said that mattered. "Do you mean it? Are you sure?"
Nodding your head with a weak smile, you placed a kiss on the cheek of his mask. Jason could feel his face heat up at that. No one had ever treated him like that before.
He grabbed your hands, maybe a bit too strong in his grasp, as he signed rapidly in excitement. "I love you too. You're the only one who likes me. I want you to stay. Please."
You felt slight pain in your lungs as the stems that had begun taking root in them slowly retracted and dissipated. He was your cure.
RZ!Michael Myers
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Flower Type: White Rose
Michael had inhabited your home for some time. He needed a home base to return to when he wasn’t stalking for victims.
You couldn’t say much against it, fearing you’d be next. And he wasn’t the worst guest?
Besides blood needing to be cleaned, he was silent. You could barely even notice him there if it wasn’t for his giant size.
Over time, you noticed how he grew closer to you. Literally. He loomed over you while you cooked or cleaned. You’d get jumpscared by how you’d turn a corner and see him standing there. He also started preventing you from leaving if he was there.
Michael would stand in front of the door, staring you down until you understood to stay home. Seeing you listen, he gave the most affection he’d ever show: patting your head.
And you grew an odd attachment to him. You’d worry if he was out for too long and worried if he ever came back injured.
You two were attached. In what way, you couldn’t answer that question but you didn’t mind being close to him. Even if he never showed affection or attachment, you knew he felt something. Otherwise, you would’ve been dead already.
Michael never spoke nor gave indication of what he was feeling ever. You could only ever notice the extremes. And when you noticed Michael in his room for longer than normal, you wanted to help even if he always pushed you away.
You knocked but no answer. Knocked twice and still nothing. You took that as a “no entry” and sadly turned away.
Right as you did, the door opened and Michael looked to you with his same deadpan stare you always knew. His hands littered with white rose petals. You didn’t understand until he coughed again, more petals coming out.
You didn’t know how to react to it other than to grow concerned. His hands dropped the petals and grabbed your shoulders, squeezing them. His eyes looked to you and for the first time, there was a slight hint of fear there.
It was odd to see such a large man who had survived hell and back to show fear now. You guided him to the couch, wanting him to feel comfortable.
You grabbed his hand, forgetting how he was a murderer, forgetting how his hands were responsible for the deaths of so many. “Michael…”
He exhaled in response, looking at you through the strands of hair covering his face. He forcibly grabbed your hand, pulling you to him. Ending up in his lap, he held onto you, still silently staring. He buried his head in your chest, squeezing you tight. He didn’t want to let go.
You let your arms hold him to you, caressing the back of his head. You placed a small kiss to the top of his head.
“Michael… It’s okay. I’m here.”
Michael couldn’t take finally having an affectionate touch after so long. Restraint was something he never knew and letting himself have an ounce of it was like opening Pandora’s box. He pulled away and slammed his lips into yours. He pushed you down on the couch, placing his hands on either side of your face, trapping you there.
And yet, you didn’t deny him. You matched his desperate, sloppy kiss. And Michael could feel the air in his lungs return only to be immediately used from his kissing and grunting. And you knew where this was going when you felt his slight runting against your leg.
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⤷ divider credits: @cafekitsune
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