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#I think abt them a lot and how hard it must have been to be in the closet and somehow outted at the same time
dennisboobs · 10 months
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talking to macdennis shippers makes me realize how much more i enjoy charden lmfao
#i love early seasons macden a lot but i think they sort of. fucked mcdn beyond repair in a lot of ways#where they Need to derail the show and do some genuine repairs#if theyd stayed the way they were in s5 itd be like oh yeah nbd theyre fucking lol#but now its. complicated#which isn't inherently bad but i think theres so much to unpack that its just like. if its not done right its going to be a disaster#charden have remained actual friends#it doesn't feel like a huge jump for them to be on good terms#but everyone immediately assumes something must have happened offscreen if macden are getting along#like. its overcomplicated! idk! i think dennis' entire character is overcomplicated#and it makes it really hard because he is So established to just have a fun plot#also i think theyve slowly fucked mac's character and have no intention of fixing it like they have with charlie and dennis' characters#like charlie was made Too Dumb and theyve been remedying that by making him a little more grounded and serious#dennis was Too Angry and they're remedying it by having him develop a way of burning off pressure without exploding#but everything theyve developed for mac has just sort of been left behind#if there was a moment to show how he'd changed it wouldve been post mfhp but it almost seemed like it was a complete reversal#he devolved lol#he was definitely like. better. in s16. but he's lost so much complexity while the others have gained more#and it feels incredibly unbalanced#dee is just a nothing character now too which (while i disagree with a lot of the complaints abt her in s16) can be seen clearly now#but mac is just.#okay im done rambling bye#ada speaks#idk how to explain but macden as a dynamic feels like it holds both of their characters back#and it rarely brings anything new or interesting to the table#dennis shows a different side of himself around charlie#but he is. mostly just angry or exasperated around mac
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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months
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...
#im still procrastinating so bear with me#ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system#bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i#moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me#like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them#like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract#and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone#surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow#i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents#like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case#its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl#bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my#skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control#and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with#the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum#its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all#still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working#sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain#works better in the early morning rip#unrelated
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smoozie · 2 months
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i can never say this off anon but. like. i don't agree with rpf ideologically but there's something to the narrative of it, right? like if i was a minecraft youtuber and so was my best friend and i fell in love with them i would never fucking say anything publicly. there's a story there. i just wish it made sense to write about fictional youtubers or write aus about my ocs as youtubers without it turning into meta commentary on actual RPF. why is there no respectful way to write about c!cc!characters huh
There is most definitely a story to be told in which the entire world thinks two people should be together, and because of that two people cannot reveal they are in love with each other.
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bhalspawn · 1 year
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if im honest i like king alistair w a warden queen! theyre happy ur honor!!!
#ACTUALLY im taking over the wardens story now. looking for a cure to the calling? whatre u talking abt#theyre supposed to have 30 years or so!!!!! granted alistair has only been a warden for 6 months or so when he says that but#and maybe joining during a blight also speeds up the taint but actually it doesnt ive decided. theyre FINE#anyway. alistair is fine bc of the therein bloodline ig? like how fiona is cured somehow bc of it#and.... dare i say..........#They Have A Child Sir. everything's a okay#ugh but the thing w morrigan. can u imagine wanting a child but knowing its unlikely to happen while one of u has one w a woman they cant#stand and the other still feels incredibly hurt#bc of the fact the morrigan knows the whole time#and i get it!!! morrigan is young and her mother is Flemeth and this is what she's been told to do and she becomes friends w the warden#knowing this so like. i see how torn she must be#she calls her a SISTER while knowing this and i can see it must tear at her but how can you just tell them that#oh it hurts. oh its bitter#i mean the betrayal of howe and then loghain has to make morrigans seem much harsher than it really is#and i dont think of it as really a betrayal from an objective pov but in the situation its already a lot what w the landsmeet and the news#that a warden has to die#i mean its all got to hit hard. there's no way ANYONES comin out of this in a healthy headspace#alistair thinks of his son he will never meet and rhia thinks of a stepson she never wants to meet and UGH.#i think they shouldve handled the whole thing differently. like morrigan should speak to both wardens instead of one#when u speak to just the hof and they have to go to romanced alistair it seems. unfair#ANYWAY!!!! IM NORMAL ABOUT IT#wytxt
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tiredrobin · 2 years
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Her name isn't Jane.
She's gotten a lot better at answering to it, at least. Will calls her El at home and at school, Joyce calls her Jane everywhere but at home, Mike writes "Dear El" in all his letters, and she doesn't have any friends to call her Jane. It took a while to get used to it. At school, at the library, in the mall, at the grocery store, Eleven is Jane, but most of the time she's at home and she's El when she's home. Jane just isn't her name.
It's not that she minds it. When it's her teachers it's just the name of a regular student; another name, another face, one among many. When it's her classmates, it's the name of the kid who moved from some small hick town with her weird brothers, but she's not the only Jane and most people think she's weird but don't care enough to act on it, so it's... just a name.
The way Joyce says it, smile in her voice, it sounds a bit like how Mama did when she called for Eleven. That had been maybe nearly a decade ago, before Papa took Mama's mind and left her stuck in a looping dream. When Joyce says Jane, she says it like that, like Mama did, and it's sweet and Eleven doesn't mind it.
So, no, Jane isn't her name, but it also isn't not her name. It's not quite like El, nothing like Eleven, but it's hers all the same. She likes it. She sometimes wishes she grew up with it.
She sometimes wishes she knew who Jane would have been.
Would Jane have been pretty? Would she have been kind? Would she have been popular, like all the movies and all the kids and all of Eleven's small world seems to care about? Would she ever have met Mike, born and raised two counties from Hawkins, living with Mama and with her aunt? Would she have ever met Hop? Eleven isn't sure of any of it, but she doesn't think any of that would have happened, not really. If she was Jane, then Jane never would have had powers, she never would have lived her life in cold lab halls, she would never have been raised by Papa or gotten so scared that she ran. She wouldn't have had a reason to meet Mike or Lucas or Dustin or Will or Max or Hop. She would have a real Mama, someone who loved her not for what she could do or what she had done but just for existing. She wouldn't be living in the same house as the kid she failed to save, the family she accidentally ruined, in a city far enough from Hawkins, Indiana she didn't really know where she was at all.
Jane isn't her name (for all that it's hers) because Eleven isn't Jane. She's not the little girl raised by a Mama who really, really loved her. She's El, sometimes, but usually she's Eleven.
Usually, she's just Eleven.
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polaraffect · 2 months
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venting in the tags yippeee
#damien.txt#gender talk time 🤪✌️#....................................................................................#screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan#uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that#soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated?#as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns#neither do i she/her. or they/them.#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here#and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways#i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all.#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me#as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc#and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait.#and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it#and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever#bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is.#and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like#hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow?#like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even.#and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it#is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too.#and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all.#but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it#and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck.#and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that#and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck#and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol#AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor#lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️
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amaya-writes · 8 months
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for ringtober i think it would be so funny to see the obey me brothers reacting to reader losing her ring lol i just know some of them *cough* Mammon and Asmo *cough* would be sooo dramatic
Ringtober Masterlist
Notes: I actually thought this was such a fun idea and had too many thoughts abt it so had to do hcs lol
Warnings: n/a just fluff
Characters involved: Lucifer, Mammon. Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor
Gender-neutral reader, you/yours
Lucifer
Highkey mad.
He cannot believe his fiance could be so irresponsible, and will state as much. His reaction and words will probably hurt, and he doesn't realise that until later.
Lucifer is out doing yet another task with Diavolo when the demon prince casually mentions how he saw you looking all over the place for your ring and you seemed quite sad.
You somehow convince Mammon to help you out since he's literally the best at finding shining things (and keeping them to himself, but he's too scared of Lucifer to steal your ring), and Solomon since he seems to have a solution for everything.
At the end of the day when it's dinner time and you're still not back at RAD trying to find your ring, Lucifer can't help but go find you.
He embraces you and says he was wrong to chastise you so harshly, your determination to find the ring showcases you weren't being irresponsible but it was just a small accident.
Lucifer isn't a very openly affectionate demon which is why he was hurt that you lost a symbol of his rare affection.
When the two of you return to HOL you're happy to discover Solomon waiting at the gate for you.
Apparently, Cerberus had been sitting on your ring the entire time. It must have slipped off when you were petting him and fell onto his dog bed.
Lucifer finds the entire ordeal sort of amusing, and you can't help but giggle too as you promise to pocket your ring before you pet Cerberus, or any other animal for that matter.
Lucifer secretly makes a duplicate of both of your rings the next day, he can't believe he didn't think of doing that before. He also thinks it would be cute to pass down the duplicates to your children.
Mammon
Is actually a little offended.
That was the first piece of jewellery Mammon acquired without stealing it. He even worked extra hard for his modelling agency to save up white money for you.
He never wanted anyone to ever be able to tell you your engagement (and wedding) ring was bought unfaithfully.
So, after putting in so much effort Mammon couldn't help but feel at least a little offended you just lost the ring.
To make matters worse you lost it because Asmo took you to get manicures and the lady over there misplaced it.
"For all we know it could be stolen by now!"
Mammon lets out a big annoyed huff and decides to give you the silent treatment for the rest of the day.
This doesn't last long and he ends up going to your room to find you, he feels sad seeing you look so dejected and decides to sort of apologise.
"Look what's done is done no point gettin' all sad bout it."
He feels worse because you seem genuinely sorry and apologise a lot.
Things end well because Asmo shows up at your room a little later with the ring in his hand. He says the receptionist found it with your wallet, which you also happened to forget there.
Leviathan
You did what?! That's it you don't love him. This whole thing was a lie, you clearly don't care about Levi or his love for you, you-
He will literally break off into the longest ramble ever and you're too scared to cut him off and make matters worse.
Levi locks himself up in his room and refuses to come out or talk to anyone. It gets so serious all the brothers are involved and you're all figuring out different ways to find your ring.
Lucifer eventually casts a spell and figures out your ring is in...Levi's room?
You storm to his door and tell him if he doesn't open it right now you won't have to find the ring because there won't be a wedding (a blatant lie, of course).
He opens it, you talk, and that's when Levi remembers he actually took your ring from you last night because he wanted to click pictures.
The ring was a custom design made to subtly match the design of the first game you played together, so obviously when Levi got a new installment of the game featuring the tiara your design was inspired by he just had to get a picture of the two together.
You were asleep on your gaming chair and he didn't want to wake you up so he just slipped it off your hand, but then forgot to give it back and just kept it in his drawer beside the game.
Mammon and Asmo couldn't help but laugh at how stupid this entire ordeal was, the rest of the brothers follow suit and then leave the two of you alone.
Now Levi's sheepish and the one apologising except he's just going on another ramble of how you probably hate him and won't talk to him but he deserves it.
Literally won't shut up until you cuddle him and tell him it's alright.
Satan
Locates it with a spell.
But first, Satan finds it so amusing how worried you are that he just has to play along and pretend to be annoyed.
If anything this whole ordeal was his fault because he was the who dragged you out to pet the street cats. In fact Satan almost lost his own ring when one of them was playing with his hand.
He has a small amused smile on his lips as you profusely apologise and insist on dragging him back to the park at midnight to try and find the ring.
Satan lets you ramble all the way there but when you two reach he realises you're getting a little too sad for his liking, so, he tells you to calm down and whips out a handy book of spells he had on him.
Ends up finding it in less than a minute, and that was a good thing too since the kitten playing with it looked like she was going to swallow the ring.
He triumphantly rescues your ring from the kitty, coos and pats her for a bit, and then return to your side with a boyish smile that almost quells your annoyance.
"You could have done this the entire time?!"
Satan lets out a genuine laugh so rare at your question you couldn't help but let your anger slip away as you laughed with him too.
He decides it's a good idea to recreate the moment he proposed to you and kneels down on one knee, slipping the ring on your finger and pulling you in for a kiss.
The moment ends up being a surprisingly romantic one you fondly retell to Asmo, who ends up gossiping about it to anyone with ears willing to listen to his squeels.
Asmodeus
Will never let you forget this.
When I tell you this man screeches.
Has the most girly squeeky yelling voice ever, in fact you actually can't even feel offended because you're too busy trying not to burst out laughing.
He's not even that mad about the ring he's more annoyed that you left him the entire day and were at Diavolo's hanging out with Barbatos and Luke.
"First you forget me then you lose the symbol of my love for you- next you'll be finding a new devilishly handsome demon to marry!"
Gets pouty. VERY pouty. Expects you to not leave his side at all until you find the ring, which is almost impossible since how could you find it if you don't leave his side?
"Well, then you'll just have to spend eternity stuck to me. I can't have you parading around without a symbol of affection, after all."
Thankfully for you Barbatos comes to the rescue, even if it's many hours later.
By the time Barbs shows up at HOL you've already spent an entire day apologising to Asmo and being by his side every second. He almost didn't let you go to the bathroom alone, claiming its nothing he hasn't seen before.
You had spent so many hours sitting on his lap idly combing your fingers through his hair or drawing random shapes on his chest you were certain you would go crazy.
Asmo didn't even let you check your DDD, which was too bad considering Barbatos messaged you about the ring almost as soon as you reached HOL.
When Barbatos drops by HOL during dinner you can't help but hug him excitedly as you thank him for finding the ring. He casually claims it was never lost in the first place, Barbatos simply set it aside after you removed it so you wouldn't get it dirty while baking.
Asmo seems almost sad to see the ring again since he doesn't have an excuse to keep you by his side anymore, but he gets over his poutyness after you suggest having a sleepover.
Safe to say you did a lot more than sleeping that night.
Beelzebub
Is probably the most calm of them all.
He asks you if you accidentally ate the ring, because he's constantly scared he might end up eating his ring.
You're kind of confused and ask him why he isn't offended or something and Beel just says he knows you would never lose it on purpose.
In fact he helps you try to find the ring so the two of you spend the entire day retracing your footsteps and having a lot of snacks.
By the time you make it back to Beel and Belphie's bedroom, which was the first place you went to help Beel wake up Belphie, you've almost forgotten about the ring.
The day just felt like a fun date with Beel and you found yourself feel grateful for having such an understanding and sweet husband-to-be.
You only remember the ring again when Belphie perks up as the two of you enter the room, suddenly reaching for a shiny object on his bedside table.
"Oh there you are, your ring slipped off this morning, I tried giving it to you earlier but I couldn't find you or Beel."
The three of you end up laughing about the situation, Beel gives Belphie some sushi he bought for him (because you cannot convince me Beel isn't that type of sibling who always gets you food when they go out) and you all just end up having a calm night in.
Maybe a movie night with loads of popcorn.
Belphegor
Looks at you with the most 'are you fucking kidding me' expression ever.
You not only chose to wake up the avatar of sloth in the middle of the day you also did it without giving him any of your usual kisses or hugs and paired that with very VERY bad news.
At this point you might as well run for your life.
The way you shake him awake almost startles Belphie but your nervous mannerisms as you just sit beside him quietly makes him wide awake.
He's now staring at you expectantly and you have no choice but to admit your mistake, which leads to a very annoyed Belphie.
"I expected better from my fiance."
Almost as mean as Lucifer if not more. Depends on how sensitive you are to such things.
Unlike Lucifer he doesn't chastise you too much, instead gives you that 'I'm disappointed in you' silence that makes you want to scream in frustration.
You knew you shouldn't have told him, but you were somewhat hoping Belphie somehow had your ring.
You end up apologising and then scramble out of his bed ready to race out of the attic and restart your ring hunt, but are tugged back by a familiar arm loosely wrapping around your waist.
"Where do you think you're going?" "To find the ring, of course." Belphie scoffs, but lets go of you to instead stand up beside you, this obviously confuses you, making him almost regret leaving his peaceful slumber for you.
"You look like you're going to burst into tears any minute. The chances of you seeing, much less finding, anything are little to none."
He sounds pretty guilty as he says it, making you smile softly as Belphie takes your hand and leads you out the room.
He almost immediately goes to Satan and just asks him to do a spell to find the ring. This not only surprises but also annoys you since you could have done that first and Belphie wouldn't even know the ring was gone.
Ends up being in the attic bathroom, you spent last night with Belphie so when you took your morning shower in his bathroom. You must have forgotten to wear your ring after you were done.
You thank Satan profusely then head back up with Belphie.
He beats you to the bathroom and slips the ring back on your finger, raising your hand to drop a tired peck on your knuckles.
"Don't lose it again." His voice is soft and he pulls you in for a quick hug with his chin resting on your head.
It's clear Belphie feels bad for snapping at you, so you two end up dozing off for the rest of the day.
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cashmere-caveman · 2 months
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read a post about there being next to no record abt the historic edward little again (we dont even know what he looked like!!!) and now im thinking a lot about how he died in uniform again.
hes far from the only character to die in uniform (the marines die in uniform! franklin dies in uniform!) and he isn't even the only lieutenant to do so (gore, under his slops, was in uniform; fairholme, too presumably; irving famously wore his coat that hickey steals later; george wore something that used to be his uniform when he got eaten but imo atp he did not wear it as A Uniform anymore that were just the clothes that he had on if that makes sense) but at the end, he is the only one where i still felt that it was an active choice to wear it.
almost everyone else sheds their layers along the way or turns into something else, but ned starts in uniform and he stays in uniform and that's it.
fitzjames famously sheds his vanity and dies in his shirtsleeves, without any of the pomp and pizzazz of his uniform.
jopson, another character who is to me really connected with a certain mindset of holding up appearances, dies in his shirtsleeves, believing himself abandoned by the very person that was his reason to even wear a uniform at all.
goodsir as a doctor/assistant surgeon doesn't really have a uniform in quite the same sense as many others but when he dresses himself before his suicide it is not as an affirmation of his role, or at least not a positive one. he has sworn to do no harm, but he was forced to do it anyway and now he will add a final evil to his toll of sins in the hopes to balance the scales at least somewhat and for that to work, he must wear his outfit as always. he ends up with all pretenses stripped bare anyway.
tozer, a man so proud of his uniform in the beginning, again, dies in his shirtsleeves, no rank left, betrayed by someone who had convinced him to give up everything and yet! reduced to nothing but an ordinary man, he tries again where before he had given up. he cooperates, he coordinates, he even calls crozier captain again, he tries very hard to do the right thing in what looks like a no win scenario from the get go!! and he fails, of course, but he tried.
almost everyone else also ends up either dressed down (bridgens, armitage, dundy, des voeux etc) or somehow transformed (blanky, to some extend silna with her patched and bloody furs) or in hickeys case, both (iconic underwear & greatcoat combo). little never changes. he sometimes has a little scarf, theres the bandage for his headwound for a bit, he sometimes wears the full parade uniform with epaulettes and sometimes just the regular one, there are at least two different uniform hats and ofc you can tell that he loses weight by the way his shape chages under all that wool but he is always. in. uniform.
and maybe this is just my mind making up dots to connect but i think he might even be the last character that crozier ever gives an order to in his official function as a captain (in the tuunbaq seduction/boss fight scene he has been stripped of his rank, at least according to e.c.).
before his final scene, all we get is little arguing over the orders they are given, and how to interpret them. and he is still wearing his uniform!!! wait hold on im not gonna check but maybe he might only wear a jumper in the tent where dundy lauches his soft mutiny actually, so maybe this whole post is crumbling like a domino line but!!! ignoring this. moving on. (even if it is a jumper i remember him wearing sth dark blue aka Uniform Colour so im claiming it doesnt even matter bc spiritually that hypothetical jumper still is a uniform. im not going to let anything like "accuracy" and "real details" fuck up my post smh 🙄. im joking. however! Moving On as i said) (edit: i rewatched the scene and it IS his uniform actually, just v rumpled. going insane btw)
he doesnt even dress up for carnivale! the only other characters that are not in costume are jopson and crozier and they were literally too busy keeping crozier from dying to even begin thinking about joining the communal arts and crafts session! little is atp the acting no2 of the expedition so u might say he was busy but fitzjames has the overall command and still finds time to have a little gender moment in private and the imperialism-approved version of it for the Big Crowd!! (u could ofc argue that fitzy Always has time for a gender moment and who would i be to argue but my point is: i have no doubt that man was fucking busy preparing carnivale & beginning to prepare the walkout and there still was time to Express Some Character!! so how come ned didn't do anything?)
the one other scene we get where we can catch a small glimpse of characters out of their element before it all unravels (pre tuunbaq attack on the camp) is the scene at night when morfin gets shot. it shows lots of characters in various states of undress (silna big blanket burrito i love you) that allows us to see them differently, like their costumes at carnivale did, but in an entirely opposite direction. while carnivale was about putting on masks, this scene is about taking them off. and it drives me insane because i know that little must be there. he is somewhere in the crowd when morfin gets shot but so far i havent been able to make him out and i need to know what he is wearing so bad. it is actually for science (my own curiosity) ! i really need to know. and i cant help but feel that maybe it is intentional that he is just ~somewhere~ instead of In Front of the Fucking Camera because, well. that would be just ned little, wouldnt it? and we dont even know who that is.
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spearxwind · 2 months
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could we get an infodump abt the new broken horizon lore? how i found you was through extinction, so glad to see them back!!!
Absolutely!
The world of Broken Horizon is a planet (that I've yet to name) which has two major sentient species on it: humans and dragons (or khevirs in their own language). Both species coexisted side by side in relative peace (as much peace as two equally matched apex predators would have).
At some point in their history, Cercerion, a dragon with enough power to become a God, goes haywire and starts creating and becoming storms that span almost the entirety of the planet. These storms are devastating electrical hurricane cells that are charged enough to create their own magnetic fields, the incessant lightning rain is enough to literally rip chunks of earth, even mountains, out of the ground and earth and keep them in the air because of these magnetic fields. This is obviously DEVASTATING to the planet.
Eventually, a joint mutual effort from both humans and dragons is able to take Cer down, striking him down hard enough to bury him deep in the earth to sleep for ages, but the impact is so sudden that he cannot dispel the storms he created and loses control of them, leaving them to eternally roam the planet sowing destruction in their paths. There are six in total. (They are much less dangerous than when he IS in control though and the lightning rain is reduced significantly. But they are still MASSIVE hurricanes)
After this event, humans freak the fuckkkk out and in true human fashion decide that dragons are dangerous and must be exterminated. A massive war breaks out between both species where they try to obliterate each other (this is known as the Great Dragonslaying Era). Both sides develop technology to stay on par with each other (humans develop insane machinery, and dragons develop energy manipulation).
The war rages on for years, but true to their nature they an never truly best each other, and the war ends MANY years later in a shaky stalemate from both sides. This would be the present day.
Since the war has only recently ended, there are very few laws that regulate dragons and their rights in human territories, and viceversa. Using dragons as fighting dogs in gladiator arenas and treating them as animals is 'illegal', but extremely common in human cities. That would be the situation where our Extinction crew find themselves in.
Despite all the animosity towards each other, there are a great many people who want to uphold the peace and want to peacefully coexist and even work together (this is the basis for dragon piloting); but there are also extremists on both sides who still believe the others should be exterminated: humans who consider dragons a threat and a pest and no more than animals, and dragons who are unhappy with being 'tamed' and who clamor for a return to being ruthless deadly beasts.
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Honestly, the setting of Extinction itself isnt that much changed! It's mostly been tweaked to be a lot more cohesive with the worldbuilding and the world's history. I have added a bunch more in the aspect of dragonflight and races and planes because I think its cool as hell. The gladiator side of it is only one fraction of the world.
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spacelazarwolf · 1 year
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i think sexual abuse is a lot more complicated than ppl want to admit and i’m going to use two (of the many) scenarios i’ve personally been in to talk abt it. it’s gonna get kind of explicit so just be warned.
so the first scenario is me and my high school boyfriend. we're both 15 and horny all the time, and the first time we have sex i didn't even know it was going to happen. we were messing around in my garage, and he just like. stuck it in. was losing my virginity bent over a tractor in the garage the way i wanted to lose my virginity? no. did he ask for my consent? no. but. i do not consider what happened to me to be rape or assault. it didn't upset me, it didn't cause me trauma, it really didn't affect me beyond "holy shit i lost my virginity."
the second scenario is something that happened frequently between me and my abusive ex boyfriend. i would be in the mood for sex, express that interest to him, he would reject me, so i would back off. then after a minute, he would start flirting with me and showing interest in having sex with me, so i'd start flirting back, and then he'd reject me again. and when i say reject, i don't just mean "i'm not in the mood" i mean "ew why are you being so clingy get off me" when moments before he'd been grabbing my ass. he would go through this cycle until he was satisfied that i felt shitty enough about myself that i'd let him do whatever he wanted. did i want to have sex? yes. did i consent to that sex? yes. but. i consider what happened to be sexual abuse because he explicitly needed me to feel like shit in order for him to enjoy the sex and in order for me to not question what happened during it because i would feel like i "wanted it."
between those two scenarios, only one happened specifically without my consent. but that's not the scenario i consider to be assault. some might say the second situation was a negation of consent, and i think it absolutely can be. but for me and my own personal experience, i consider it to essentially be weaponizing the consent i did give, which is what made it so insidious. and i feel like people often want to project that violation of consent onto me regardless of how i actually describe the event because they conflate consent with healthy sex, so any unhealthy sex must be a violation of consent, and that's just not how it always works.
i feel like discussions around sexual assault tend to be so incredibly black and white, which makes sense because the people participating in them are traumatized! it's hard to have nuance when you're traumatized! but i think it's still important to have these conversations because there have been times where i was in spaces specifically for survivors and was told that what happened to me wasn't abuse because i consented, and it was "insensitive" to compare it to "actual rape" (which i also experienced from the same ex). in order to really heal, we need to be able to have these tough conversations, because i promise they're worth it.
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dapper-zappa · 10 months
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His Conejita, Her Spider. | Miles Morales
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Pairing: Miles Morales x Fem!Civilian!Reader
Summary: While you're hanging out in your boyfriend's place, a particular sketch in Miles's room intrigues you and then you get to know the meaning behind it.
Word count: ~1,5k
Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, cute Miles, Uncle Aaron death mention, Mama Rio interrupting some couple's time 😭
A/N: I love how the "Childish Gambino inspired Miles" thing has come full circle so don't mind Miles and Y/N talking abt him in the first part of the fic. If you find any mistranslated Spanish, please let me know abt it <3
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Today’s one of those days where Miles invited you to his family’s place because hanging out with his girl is simply one of his favorite things to do, other than drawing various kinds of doodles in his sketchbook. While the two of you don’t have any homework for now, there’s nothing better than to spend the time together… right? Miles’s family also grew a lot on you to the point you almost see his mom Rio as an aunt figure and his dad Jeff as an uncle figure. 
“Hi… Mr. and Mrs. Morales. I’m Y/N L/N, Miles’s classmate.” you greeted shyly. 
Rio let out a warm chuckle. “Oh mija, no need to be shy around me. Feel free to call me Mrs. Morales or Tía Morales, I’m fine with both though so you’re welcome.” (dear)
“You must be Miles’s new girlfriend!” Jeff joined. “Kinda wish his uncle Aaron is still here because he’d love to see his little nephew together with a girl he pulled up, though.” he whispered into your ear, much to Miles’s annoyance. 
“Dad!” 
The tunes from various songs in Miles’s playlist flowed through the earbud you shared with him in your ear. One of his hands linked with yours the entire time he talked about why he loved the artists featured in his playlist, and you couldn’t help but smile the entire time at your doe-eyed boyfriend passionately rambling about his favorite artists. 
He’s an artsy boy who enjoyed drawing and making , but also in love with music and how it made the world feel more alive, according to him. And you loved him for that because while you’re not an artist yourself, listening to Miles’s rambles about his favorite artists and seeing the drawings he drew by himself made you appreciate the hard work between them more. Even the fact your boyfriend’s mostly self taught in art.
“So I’ve been thinking…” you mused, getting absorbed in the song currently playing from your earbud. 
“Hmm? Told you that you’d like Childish Gambino.” Miles gently nudged your arm. “It’s obvious I love Sunflower by Post Malone at this point but dude’s discography is like, everything to me-“ 
“No no no no, it’s just that for some silly reason, whenever I look at his face… he kinda reminds me of your uncle from the photos here. I can’t exactly describe why but maybe it’s because of his entire vibe? Like, both him and your uncle have this sort of warm, approachable chill vibe? ” you giggled, trying your best to dismiss how silly your brain was being right now. “I honestly don’t know.” 
He thought about what you had just said about one of his favorite artists and his uncle for a brief moment, nodding once he found himself agreeing with it. 
“You know what, you’re right.” he flashed you a dopey grin. “Actually my uncle introduced me to Childish Gambino first.”
“Wait, what? Miles, are you serious?” 
 “Cielo, I’m serious.” he immediately paused the music from his phone. “So it all started with that one time I heard ‘Me and Your Mama’ blaring in my uncle Aaron’s place, then when he told me about the song’s title thanks to him noticing me jamming myself to it, he also said that the song reminded me of my dad falling in love with my mom. While he just thinks Childish Gambino is neat, for me his music means a lot because I was really close with my uncle and he always comes up in my mind whenever I listen to one of his songs.” 
“That explains why he pops up quite a lot in your playlist.” you said. “I like that. You’ve got a great taste.”
Miles shyly scratched the back of his neck. “You do? Well thanks, I mean- yours isn’t so bad either.” 
The more you hung out in Miles’s place, the more you loved his place and his family because of how close you were now with him and his parents. Though you just noticed a particular object displayed on his desk began to arouse the curiosity within when your head turned to face the desk he often used as both his little art studio and his study desk. 
It was a drawing of you with for some reason, rabbit ears on top of your head smiling gleefully, along with sunflowers surrounding your smiling face. It was a really beautiful artwork, from what you’ve seen. Out of the many impressive works made by your boyfriend, it’s definitely your new favorite as of now. 
“Why, thank you!” you beamed, though your demeanor suddenly shifted into a nervous one as your eyes briefly glanced at his desk. “But if you don't mind… Can I look at the little drawing on your desk?” hesitatingly, you pointed at the artwork on his desk but Miles cut you off before you could say anything else.
His eyes widened at the mention of the piece of artwork you were referring to. “Y-you sure you wanna look at it?” he stammered, standing up from the bed. 
“Yes.” 
Walking towards his desk, he picked up the paper before sitting back on the bed and handing it to you. 
“I hope you’ll like this one.” 
You took the paper from his hands and now focused yourself on the drawing depicted on the paper. You couldn’t believe your eyes as you finally got to see it right in front of your eyes. From the precise ink strokes in the sketch that made up your face’s exact likeness, how the drawing pops from the vibrant yellow, orange, and pink used in it, and to the silly little addition he chose to add this time in the form of bunny ears, you couldn’t help but love the drawing (and Miles himself) more than before. 
“You like it, cielo?” His question made you snap out of your trance.
“This is way more than beautiful, babe!” you squealed, immediately wrapping your arms around him. “I can’t describe how perfect this drawing is and the sunflowers are the best addition because they look so bright and like, everything about this is so amazing.”
“You’re welcome, Y/N.” he replied. 
By this point, both of your faces were beaming with happiness. You from being impressed by your boyfriend’s art skills, and Miles, from the fact you loved this doodle of you that he had drawn. Keeping your arms placed on his shoulders, you slightly pulled away from the embrace in order to face him while his hands reached for your waist. 
“But one question, Miles.” you retrieved the paper again and shoved it directly in front of his face. “Why the bunny ears? It’s not like I hate them or anything, I just wanna know why.” smirking, you waved the drawing to tease him until he revealed the answer..
He playfully shoved the paper away and gave you the biggest and proudest shit eating grin you’ve ever seen as he pulled you closer by the waist, before whispering in your ear. 
“Because you’re my cute little bunny rabbit. That’s why I often call you ‘conejita’, because it literally means ‘bunny’ and the sunflowers represent how much I love you and how happy you make me.”
Before you could say anything, you were interrupted by Rio clearing her throat. You immediately scrambled away from Miles and caught the sight of her holding 2 mugs of steaming hot chocolate standing in front of his bedroom door.
“Just wanna say that I made some hot chocolate, kids!” Rio chimed in as she set down the mugs on Miles’s desk. “And my oh my, Miles, looks like you and Y/N were having some serious love conversations right now from the looks of it.” she teased, putting her hands on her hips. 
“Mamá, ¿por qué no llamaste a la puerta?” Miles whined.  (Mom, why didn’t you knock the door?)
“Dios mío, Miles, ¿no te diste cuenta de que dejaste la puerta abierta?”  (My god, Miles, didn't you notice that you left the door open?)
“I’m sorry, mamá, I forgot to close the door so I didn’t notice you were coming.” 
“Está bien, mijo. Just make sure next time you don’t do it again, okay?” Rio gently patted Miles’s shoulder before she headed to leave her son’s room, only for her to pop her head back in, much to his annoyance. (It’s okay, dear.)
“What again, mom?” 
“I love you both!” she winked, closing the door and truly leaving from the room this time. 
Leaving the tiny awkward moment you two just had because of your boyfriend’s mom barging in, you both continued your previous activities of just chatting with each other while listening to each other’s playlist. It’s really sweet to know that the symbolism Miles put in the drawing of you with bunny ears meant wonders to him thanks to his adoration for you. Now you get why movies and artworks tend to be careful with the colors or details depicted there, because symbolism were pretty much seemingly small things that actually mean a lot, like why Miles chose to draw you with bunny ears and sunflowers around you in the artwork. 
You’re his bunny rabbit, and he’s your spider. How cute is that?
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fushitism · 1 month
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i feel like ur opinion on who chara dreemurr was as a person is entirely hinged on how you interpret these lines
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my favorite thing about undertale is how interpretative everything is. it’s why i believe the fandom’s thrived so much
there aren’t any confirmation for a lot of things, only hints.
and chara is a character (heh) that defies easy categorization because of this
one minute they're getting halos drawn over their head, the next they're public enemy number one. 
are they good? bad? gray?
we get so hung up on the morality aspect of chara that we forget the most important thing of all, they were a person. 
a person— child.
a child that hasn’t had the years to work through it or even atone for the hurt they caused. 
a child that did not know love before they fell to the underground. 
a child, raised in darkness, suddenly thrust into sunshine. it's blinding, overwhelming. 
foreign. 
after poisoning asgore, their only reaction was to laugh. now, you can depict this in any way you like, but to me, it was an honest mistake. and chara's laughter was more of a nervous reaction. they probably couldn't fully grasp the gravity of their actions. this wasn’t an instance of them maliciously reveling in asgore’s suffering. i simply cannot see it that way no matter how hard i try
the dreemurrs were unlike any of the humans they knew. they genuinely loved and cared for chara who just… didn't know how to react or cope with it in a way most would consider "appropriate"
and actually! when you’re up against snowdrake’s mom:
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chara expects frisk to laugh, just like they did when their dad got poisoned. it's horrible to look at. it's terrifying. but all they can do to cope is laugh
they FULLY expected frisk to do so too, but frisk just.. Doesn’t. 
chara was a human that found a family where they least expected it. they weren’t devoid of any good. they weren't so despondent.
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they had hope in their eyes.
they were determined to liberate monsters
and having alrdy been hailed as the "hope" of monsterkind by their family n being the completionist (love this trait abt them btw) that they were:
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they were going to see this through. push all the limits. use all means. they will have power.
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this is where things get muddy.
chara is a creature of reason. their decision to poison themselves and die, allowing asriel to absorb their soul, was, in their view, the most optimal and effective choice. there was no future left for chara on the surface anyways. there was also no straightforward method to obtain a human soul. each realization logically led to the next until everything seamlessly aligned.
their plan kicked off and started going their way. they intentionally carried their own lifeless body and headed to their village, fully anticipating the reactions they'd provoke. they had hoped to show asriel just how horrible humans are. they had hoped that by doing this, asriel would understand. the reason why humans must all be eradicated.  
but to their utter shock, asriel resisted; he never fought back.
emotion foiled their plan, resulting in their own demise and that of their beloved brother. their sacrifice was for naught, the prospect of making peace between the two races has been tossed aside, irretrievably diminished.
asriel was right. chara wasn't exactly the greatest person. however, him acknowledging they weren't does not necessarily imply them to be a fervent force of evil (and i also think he meant it as in, he LITERALLY used to believe chara was the SINGLE greatest person, but eh, technicalities)
they were a flawed person, who died as such. they've made an abundance of bad choices in how they handled their trauma but that doesn't exempt them from redemption. especially not in a game that focuses on mercy and unconditional kindness and forgiveness and and and
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and you know what? pacifist is their redemption. they don't rlly do anything that explicit in this route but. the silly narrations. the encouraging words frisk hears during asriel's boss fight. how frisk was able to save asriel and call out to him. i like to believe it was all chara. they've seen you prove that humans can be good too and with that..... they became a tool to free monsters, just as they had always intended :-]
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I've been wanting to put my thoughts abt my experiences as a loveless aroapl into words for a while now, and finally I got the chance to sit down and actually write out all my ideas. Obligatory I don't speak for the entire community and these are just my personal experiences; long post ahead.
First of all, there could be many different meanings to the label loveless, depending on who is the one using it. To me, loveless means that I literally do not experience love, that I do not experience the emotions other people seem to define as love. I do experience strong emotions (though some loveless ppl might not, which is also completely valid), but I identify none of them as love.
The reason I've decided to use the loveless label for myself is because after watching people around me for a long while, I've come to the conclusion that I just simply don't feel the same way about other ppl as they do. I hear my friends talk about how much they missed me after we don't see each other for a while, about how much they wish we had more free time so that we could meet more frequently. I see my long-distance friends with whom we only get to see each other once a year desperately trying to find a time we are all free so that we could meet. I get invited to outings with friends before we even have a plan of what we want to do bc to them, the fact that we're spending time together is more important than what we're actually doing.
Thing is, I do enjoy spending time with people. There are a lot of things, activities, that are more fun (or just straight up made possible) if done with others instead of alone. I also enjoy the safety having a network of people around you can give. But at the same time, I've never really felt any pull towards specific people. I enjoy spending time with people in general, but my interest is a lot more directed at the activities we do together and the general concept of not doing it alone instead of the people involved. At the end of the day I don't care much about who those people are, so long as they are decent and aren't actively ruining the experience.
That isn't to say I'm an asshole to them, though. I know very well that friendships (and relationships in general) require a certain level of care in both directions, usually involving spending time together, and just generally being there for the other. I do want my friends to be happy, I do want to make them happy, but it's not really out of an emotional desire to make them specifically happy, rather a more general inner drive to be good to people. I will put in the effort to socialize, to spend time with people, to listen to them and be there for them emotionally bc I know that's what it takes to maintain a relationship, but it's always going to be somewhat impersonal and more I do out of duty than out of an emotional drive to get closer to them.
And yet, the fact that the general population does seem to have this emotional drive while I never felt anything like it made me feel for the longest time that there was something wrong with me. That not feeling the correct way about my friends is making me somehow evil for tricking them into thinking I was actually their friend, and not some kind of monster who was just using their kindness against them - and it's hard not to feel that way. We live in a society that assumes and constantly reinforces the idea that not only is love the purest emotion, but also the only thing a relationship can be based on. Any relationship that doesn't have love at its core is worthless or meaningless, and if you deliberately enter a relationship as a loveless person you are a bad person and the relationship is inherently toxic. It doesn't matter what you actually do, or what feelings might motivate it - if it's not out of love, it's bad.
In this framework, being loveless means no matter how hard you try, you will just never be enough. It isn't enough to be kind or generous or caring, you MUST love the other, and if they find out you don't, there's a really good chance they will take it as a personal attack and break contact with you, even if before they called you their best friend.
It was this pressure that made me pick up the loveless label. For too long have I felt like I wasn't doing enough, like I was missing something, like I wasn't trying hard enough to feel love. I kept beating myself up over not feeling the correct emotions, but unsurprisingly, this did not make me more capable of love. It just made me hate myself for the way I existed. But the moment I accepted myself as loveless? All of that pressure was gone. I learnt that emotions don't inherently make an action morally better or worse, and that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you feel so long as you do the right thing. People don't actually see your emotions, only your actions.
Of course, I still struggle with making and keeping friends. Turns out it is rather difficult to maintain a relationship when you don't have an innate drive towards people; then put on that extra layer of autism and low empathy and you got a recipe for disaster. Still, that doesn't mean I don't try, because I do want to be around people, and I do want those people to be happy to be around me, even if it means I have to put in the extra effort to connect with them that to most ppl comes naturally.
I know this turned out to be pretty long but I wanted to elaborate on these thoughts to give them justice as best as I could. Loveless is still a label most people either don't know or are very confused about, and I just hope I could shed some light on the experience for those who are still unfamiliar with it.
I'm open to answering (good faith) questions, but please remember that I am still just one guy and can't speak on behalf of the whole community.
(Other loveless ppl, feel free to add on your own experiences as well, I'd love to hear about them!)
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picturingchappell · 5 months
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𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 / 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨 | 𝙚. 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙢𝙨
pairing: ellie williams x afab!black!reader
tags: told from readers pov and ellies pov, alternates between third person and first person, sorta angsty, fluff at the start, basically ur dina lol, jj isnt here tho, one use of y/n, one description of reader (just hair?? i think that’s it), ellie has ALOT of inner turmoil, reader lowkey knows that tho, great music/artists (not to toot my own horn but the songs and artists mentioned are BANGERS!!!!), sorta canon typical universe, mentions of abby and tommy (not really any actual involvement in the story.. well, sorta ig), ellie refers to reader as ‘she’, and i think thats it!!
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a/n: lowkey thinking abt making a part two but everytime i start a series i always end up stopping at the second chapter. 😭 anyways, ill get to finishing those other requests diligently! 😇🙏 also ignore the fact i added hella tags, its prolly like random stuff but just trust me bro its in here!!!
Ellie was acting weird. Like, really weird. After Tommy had come and gone, something shifted inside of her. Like he’d altered her brain chemistry in some strange way. She was much quieter and she was biting her nails — a habit she’d picked up whenever she was thinking or nervous. You stand in the kitchen cleaning up some dishes as a Lauryn Hill vinyl plays softly. Ellie didn’t know much about your music taste but god, did she love it. She loved lots of things about you, your cooking, learning about your culture, how you helped her broaden her outlook on the world with the lessons instilled into you by your parents and grandparents. It was something she valued above all else. You found yourself humming along to the tune of the music and occasionally mumbling the lyrics. The stairs creaked as she walked down them rather slowly. The sound of the record player being on made her wonder what you were up to. She picks up the sleeve the vinyl had been in and she reads it. “‘The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill’? You’re always listenin’ to this record. It must be your favorite then, I presume.”
She walked over to you while you were drying off a plate. “It’s a classic, Ellie. Who doesn’t like this album?” You ask as a small smile creeps onto your face. She’d always made you smile, but it now just seemed like she was trying to deter you from the fact that something had obviously been going on in her mind. She leans against the counter, looking over her shoulder at the setting sun. She hadn’t said anything as she alternates between looking at the sunset, you washing the dishes and nodding her head to the beat of the songs playing. Once the dishes have been washed, you rummage through the cabinets for a small candle. It was one Ellie liked. It smelled like some sweet citrus scent and the label had been rubbed off. You reach into a drawer and pull out a box of matches. You strike it until it burns and you light each wick, then putting the match out. 
   Then, you stop the record and put it back in its sleeve. “I should get you another vinyl. Who else do you listen to?” Ellie asks as she steps behind you. You shrug. “In the old world, I listened to a lot of music. I had a Walkman but yknow, someone stole it.” “That sucks. I had a Walkman aswell at some point. Never saw it again.” She pushes her hands into the pockets of her worn jeans and you nod in response. You let out a little yawn. “I think I’ll go to sleep soon.” You mumble to yourself as you turn to Ellie. “Yknow, for my birthday, you could get me like a.. New Edition one if you could find it.” You suggest with a smile. “You got it, babe. I’ll search as hard as I can.” She smiled softly and kissed your cheek. You return the kiss and begin walking up the stairs.
    You head for the bathroom to shower. The water never got as hot as you preferred but you couldn’t complain. At least you’d been getting some water. The water was lukewarm. Your clothes had been discarded on the floor. You step into the shower and your mind begins racing. You were there the entire time Tommy had been talking to Ellie. You’d opened the door to him. You watched him limp into the dining room. You let him in! You were starting to think that wasn’t a good idea as you washed your body. Ellie tended to rethink her actions and doubt herself a lot. You couldnt like, literally see inside of her mind, but you knew she had lots of inner turmoil. Killing people and the undead coupled with trauma definitely wasn’t an easy task to balance. You could see it in her. But she was addicted to that sense of justice. She felt compelled to protect the ones she loved even if it meant it was self destructive. 
   As you exited the shower, you found Ellie sitting on your shared bed awake. “Ellie, are you not tired?” You ask softly as you dress yourself. “No, well, yeah. I was just.. waitin’ for you.” You nod in response. You wore a pair of shorts and a shirt with some faded graphic that appeared to be from some Mortal Kombat game. You sat next to her and you grabbed her hand gently. Your thumb runs over her knuckles. “Yknow you can talk to me. I’ll listen, Ellie. I’m here for you.” She mumbled a soft ‘I know’ before she leaned her head against your shoulder. The moonlight shines through the windows, gently illuminating your features and Ellie’s. You could hear the windchimes outside swaying with the wind. “Cmon, let’s get some rest.” You suggested as you walked over to your side of the bed. You knew Ellie had a hard time sleeping most nights, and some days it was visible on her face. You just wanted her to sleep for one night. In a way, you knew why she couldn’t sleep. Maybe because she wanted to protect you from whatever may stumble in here while you’re in your most vulnerable state, or maybe because her self-decapitating thoughts were  eating her alive. You laid in the bed, facing Ellie as she settled in the bed. 
    In one hand held her switchblade (she went to sleep holding it most nights.) She looks at you with a tired smile as one of her hands comes up to gently caress your face. “When this is all over, ‘m gonna give you the whole goddamn world.” She mumbled as she leaned forward to give you a soft peck. “I’d do the same for you. I’d get you everything you could possibly ever want.” Moments like these were your favorite moments to have with Ellie. Her words of affirmation, love and even her promises were all you could ever think about whenever you couldn’t sleep. You knew she meant everything she said because of the sincerity in her voice. You smiled to yourself. Ellie saw you and she smiled too. You turn to her. “Ellie?” “Yeah?” “Don’t leave me. Not ever. I can’t lose you, I still have so much to show you.” There was this kind of.. expression on her face. Uncertainty. Worry. Compassion. Her response was small, as if she wasn’t sure if she’d ever abide by this unspoken promise to you. “I won’t.” You smiled softly before you got a little closer to her, holding her in your arms as you drift off into sleep. 
(Ellie’s POV now lol)
She was so close. Holding me as if she’d never let go. Thoughts were too much. My mind is racing. I keep seeing him. Tommy did something to me. I couldn’t just.. leave my girlfriend. The one who’s been with me through thick and thin. A woman like this wasn’t easy to come by, especially during an apocalypse. The moonlight was always my favorite light to see her under. She’d been glowing, god, she was beautiful, ethereal even. The way her braids sprawl over the pillow, her soft breathing, the soft thumps of her heart were all I would’ve needed in a perfect world. The draft coming through the window gave my goosebumps. We’d been laying here for a few minutes. It was amazing how fast she could fall asleep. The switchblade I hold has a reflection from the moons light. I see myself in the blades reflection. I look away.
  Something inside of me screams ‘Go get her. Go kill Abby. Finish the job like Tommy suggested.’ Slowly, I slide out of the bed. Standing in the middle of the room, I realize that there are some windows open. Shuddering, I go to close them. I made sure to keep my footsteps light so the floor didn’t creak. After closing the windows upstairs, I go into the room my art was stationed in. There was a box under my desk containing my journal. I know she never looked through it because I didn’t want her to and she respected that. I flip through the pages of it, looking back at my entries. There’s an entry in my journal. ‘Sometimes, I hear people talking. They tell me to do bad things. I know I shouldn’t. But how do I ignore a voice so loud? I should tell (Y/N). I can’t tell her. I don’t want to ruin this for her. She seems.. happier when she’s not constantly running for her life.’ The note was next to a few sketches of her and moths I’d roughly sketched. I was tired of the voices. I return the journal and walk downstairs to close the rest of the windows downstairs. I stop infront of my guitar. 
  I sit down, strumming a few cords before I stop. ‘Go get her. Go kill Abby. Kill Abby. Show her what pain feels like. She killed Joel. Finish the job.’ The voice was repeating. It was driving me insane. The voices came after we left Seattle. I want the cycle to end. Nothing ends if I just ask it to. That’s in some.. nonexistent world. My skin crawls with this need. Not the kind I feel when I look at her and her beautiful face and body. It was bloodlust. A vicious cycle never ends, that’s what makes it so vicious. This is the continuation of a cycle I can't break. “I have to do this.” I mumble. I move mindlessly as I gather my things and get ready. I have to kill Abby. I feel like my only purpose in life is to protect, sacrifice, and suffer in silence. Killing Abby seems like.. my magnum opus right now. She tells me that ‘violence isn’t the answer’ and to ‘control my urges’ but I can’t.      As I stand in the kitchen, putting the last of my things into my backpack, the stairs creak. She’s awake. Fuck. She wasn’t supposed to wake up. God, don’t look at me. Don’t do this to me, I need to do this— “Ellie? What’re you doing?” Her voice makes me freeze in place. I don’t move. I stare at her. Her tired eyes. The longing in her eyes for some sorta.. normality in her life. Our life isn’t normal and has never been normal. Was anything normal in this life? Who knows. Nobody knows. Matter of fact, I don’t know.
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plum-pitt · 3 months
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Holy shit. I just realized i’ve never even yapped about my headcanons for the rise guys. This is a criminal offense on my part! Must be rectified immediately!!
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Disclaimer: Don’t think there’s a lot of hot takes here, but feel free to disagree and talk about your own interpretations if you’d like!! Headcanon is fun and i love discussing it. it’s all fictional and since the text doesn’t give us much concrete shit on these topics we’re all free to make our own, equally valid readings of it. :3
Leo- Transmasc He/Him, gay as fuck who here could’ve guessed, ADHD haver, definitely smokes weed. Fluent in spanish from watching telenovellas as a child. Wants to be a flirty whore/aff so fucking bad but whenever he sees someone he’s legitimately attracted to any charisma he might’ve had gets thrown out the window and into a woodchipper in favor of helpless stuttering. His portalling mishaps early in the series have led him to silly sidequests all over the world that he just,,,, doesn’t really talk about. This won’t come up until they’ll end up in some random ass place and find out just how well travelled and connected he actually is. He’s also got a job at Hueso’s for fun and extra cash to fund his addiction to pot and ordering stupid shit he doesn’t need online. He’s a server, wears rollerskates to “move faster” on the job, just ends up running into shit more often than not. Great with the kids tho, performs little sleight of hand magic tricks and tells jokes to make them happy, never had a fussy kid he couldn’t calm down in a snap. Calls himself Hueso’s nephew and nepotism hire, ignoring the fact that he’s actually a decently competent and well liked employee outside of the several skating related accidents. Shell was cracked badly in the invasion, when they sealed it up, he asked Mikey to paint the healed cracks gold, mimicking the japanese practice of Kintsugi.
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Mikey- Definitely queer but not into labels ;3 He/Him is what he defaults to, but any pronouns work for them. Semi fluent in italian, don’t ask me why, just feels right, let chef boy speak italian dammit. One of those mfs on instagram who insists on posting pictures of the food he makes, except his actually looks good and not painfully mediocre so they get a pass. Has been tagging walls in hard to reach spots all over the city for years at this point, after Raph confronted her abt it, fearing that he’d get caught someday, he told him that he’d stop. Yeah, that was a lie he kept doing it, just sneakier now. Makes money off of art commissions, still broke as hell tho cuz he spends it all on bougie ass ingredients and art supplies. Post canon definitely delved more into mystics and spirituality, trains with draxum but also took up meditation in his free time. Fucks with weed and the occasional psychedelic when working on art, says it helps get the creative juices flowing. Considering asking donnie to forge some documents for him so he can attend college online and earn a psych degree. His speech patterns flip on a dime between vague, wise fortune cookie therapist man and typical gen-z slang so abruptly it gives anyone not already familiar with him total whiplash.
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Donnie- NonBinary They/He Bisexual but i can’t decide if they’re the kind that can’t stop pulling or can’t pull to save his life. Fluent in several languages, ASL, French, Russian, Japanese. Actually one of their few acedemic endeavors that he doesn’t typically show off and gloat about, makes it all the scarier when his siblings hear him muttering vaguely threatening sounding shit in russian when shit doesn’t go their way. Has tried most substances for “research purposes”, ultimately decided he doesn’t like the feeling of their big ol brain being hindered under the influence, this has a few exceptions tho, mainly when it’s with Leo. Has John Bishops IP address and threatens to drop it on 4chan to “see what happens” every time he tries messing with their family or stopping him from “borrowing” material resources from the US government. Almost considered bs-ing his way into college before they used a cloaking broach to shadow april at school for like 2 days. It was there they learned that the education system fucking sucks and he probably knows more than most professors about his topics of interest anyway. Does freelance work for cash, as far as their brothers know they’re not building and selling anything dangerous (which is code for probably arming both sides in a far away military conflict with deathrays). Spends his free time cyber bullying children on roblox and twitter, and caring for their greenhouse of plants that all have names. (yes he grows weed. his GeniusGrown™️ zaza is known far and wide for its consistently excellent quality. and no, Leo does not get a family discount. Mikey does tho.)
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Raph- Someone please send the big man some help😭 he/him(?) Definitely queer in some way shape or form but refuses to confront any identity crisis because he’s just so busy keeping his dumb ass siblings outta shit. Tried weed once and will never touch a substance again, makes his anxiety spike real bad when he doesn’t feel in full control of himself. Runs around with Cassandra and sometimes Jr to do vigilante justice on the side of he and his siblings’ usual patrols. Living garbage disposal and i mean that quite literally. He has and will eat anything, rocks, toys, silverware, sometimes on accident, sometimes on a dare, and sometimes just because he wants to. He grew up gnawing on the legs of furniture, rusty sewer pipes, really any nonliving thing that he could fit his choppers around (unlike donnie who just bit any living creature within a 5 mile radius of his location). Since the invasion made Leo step up as leader Raph has been able to step back a little bit and not have everything in a chokehold, he has a mini crisis about his place in the family and his sense of identity without being a leader. Tries to hide how much it’s affecting him but ofc, living with mikey, this does not last and his ass FINALLY gets chucked (very lovingly) into therapy. Loves to knit, definitely in some kind of old lady facebook group centered around it (he has so much nursing home gossip floating around in his brain hehe)
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Alright that’s all for the teetlez. lmk if yall wanna hear about my thoughts on the rest of the main cast, or some of the side cast! Can’t promise i’ll have this much to say on all of em but i’ve definitely got thoughts lol. I might even make a post diving into different character dynamics. idk tho, my fingies are tired typing all that shit😭
Anyway i hope u enjoyed my ramblings, have a lovely day :3
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sun-stricken · 6 months
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Don’t have to answer if it’s not your style, but headcannons for overprotective dragon slayers to new demon slayer gray?
Random person: you’re all dragon slayers?
Slayers: yeah, why?
Random person points to gray: why’s he here?
Slayers: he’s adopted
anon you have no idea how much i love you for asking this, ive been waiting for an excuse to do this, i am a SLUT for anyone and anything being overprotective of Gray
i don’t believe in canon or timelines so use ur imagination
i like to think of Gray as person practically everybody ends up really liking, and a total cat magnet.
And dragon slayers r just big cats. So Gray already had close friendships with them
so when they realized ‘holy shit hes like us now’ their protective instincts went in overdrive
Natsu, Wendy, & Sting didnt even try to hide it; constantly trying to make sure hes comfortable and felt safe and didnt sit alone confused and scared by all these new things he has to deal with
Natsu definitely drags him onto impromptu jobs and fishing trips with Happy, in an effort to get away from people, or just so they can spend time together, the reason is unclear
i think dragon slayers as a whole are like violently touch starved, and thats what Sting focused on mostly.
he would drape himself over Gray when he felt like the other needed or wanted it but wouldnt ask
it helped Gray get more comfortable for sure
Wendy, as a healer and friend, tried to give him every piece of advice she knew, offering remedy after remedy to help ease him into his now heightened senses
Gray tried to explain to them once that his abilities are fairly different from theirs, yes he has heightened senses, but his instincts and needs were a hell of a lot different than theirs; that only spurred them on more, making them try to research everywhere they could about demon slayers
Rogue & Gajeel were more subtle with it (not by much tho), they understood when needed it quiet, when he just wanted company without the talk
If Gray was having a hard time, whether or not it was bc of his slayer magic, Rogue would offer up Frosch and sit with him, offering silence or white noise. whatever he needed
Gajeel probably thought he was subtle but he absolutely was not, like asking Gray if he wants to run errands with him when places theyre at get too sensorially intense
he tried to ask Levy about everything she knew abt demon slayers without being too obvious, when she kept sending him knowing glances he just asked (very resigned) for some books on the matter.
there was surprisingly little
But he made do and probably studied every piece of literature there was on the matter
The others probably found out and teased him even tho they did the same thing (they also probs asked him to drop a list of books for them)
Now, Laxus really was subtle
telling Gray to go home when he was visibly pushing himself
talking about his new sound canceling headphones and then conveniently leaving them near Gray
or little compliments abt how his new magic is coming along, quiet support type shit
also staring someone down to get them to shut up if they’re being too much
i feel like they turned from ‘one of our own’ protective to overprotective when they realized ppl werent as accepting of demon slayers as they were with dragon slayers
Most ppl exposure to slayer magic is limited to dragon slayers, who refer to themselves as dragons. so when a demon slayer pops up, the correlation isn’t pretty, and their actions are even worse
While Gray understands people must just scared or confused, so he doesnt blame them; he has a hoard of extremely protective dragons who think differently
Wendy had to be physically restrained by multiple people after she heard people calling Gray a monster
Natsu genuinely considered burning alive someone who refused to pay Gray after he finished up a job
Gray definitely now had scary dog privileges, the dog being every single dragon slayer he knows
Laxus zapping people who so much as look at Gray wrong, or frying whatever electronic (ik its lacrimas but work with me) device they have.
or both
Them all hyping up (in their own ways) Grays physical demon features when they start showing up
Post joint guild party at Sabertooth: some guy talking shit abt how Fairy Tail could allow a demon into their ranks, how he is gonna hurt someone. They are now guildless and only eating through a straw and a face not even a mother could love
Someone at an event giving Gray a backhanded compliment and immediately getting death stares mixed with a violent increase of magic in the air that would make the gods shudder
Remember when i said Grays a cat magnet? its not just the dragon slayers who adore him, its their exceeds too
if u asked them to list their favorite people, Gray is in the top 5 for all of them
im stealing another hc from someone and saying Gray fosters cats, and Happy may or may not of gotten jealous once or twice over the pets and scratches that were supposed to be his
If Rogue loses Frosch and Gray happens to be in town 70% they’re probs together
The incorrect quote u put is so canon in this universe btw
Gray “Honorary Dragon Slayer” Fullbuster
i have so many more but neither of us are prepared yet
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