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tootiredmotel · 3 years

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spoiler alert: she keeps it

A coda fic of my beloved 10x20 "Angel Heart" bc Cas and Claire are my everything, for @emeraldcas 's celebration!

Prompt: meaningful moments

1.2k words – read on ao3 or below

First, it's a matter of where.

Dean says that the mall is a safe bet, and he’s probably right. It has options, a wide array of stores with near endless possibilities, so Cas asks him for a ride to the nearest one.

As Dean pulls into the parking lot, he asks "You really think you'll finally win her over like this?"

"I'm not trying to "win her over", Dean." Cas air quotes. "It's her birthday. A present is customary, isn't it?"

It's not a rhetorical question, and Dean seems to understand that after studying Cas's gaze on him.

"Yeah. Yeah it is, buddy."

Once inside, the number of options becomes overwhelming rather than comforting. Hundreds of people bustle about, bumping into them with reckless abandon. Cas pauses a few steps from the entrance, breathing heavily and looking every which way, trying to figure out where to begin and coming up blank.

He’s never been to a mall before.

Dean, staring daggers at the back of someone who almost trampled them, puts a hand on Cas’s back. “C’mon. Let’s try this way,” he says, leading him down the hall to their right.

They walk for a while. Cas quietly studies every store they pass, while Dean speaks up every two minutes with a new idea. Tech store? A new phone. Clothing store? A jacket, hers is looking a bit worn. Shoe store? Do you know her size? We can get her some boots or something.

“Dean,” Cas finally says, stopping in his tracks and grabbing Dean’s arm. He's grateful for the ride, and he's grateful for Dean’s suggestions. Really, he is. “Thank you, but… This is my gift to her. I need to choose on my own.”

Dean starts doing that adorable thing where he can’t decide if he wants to shake his head or nod. “Uh, yeah, no. No problem, angel. You got this. I’ll shut up.”

Right now, Cas is less focused on the gift itself and more on finding a store that feels fitting, one that Claire might pick out on her own. He puts his hands in his pockets and scans the stores in sight. Further down the hall, one storefront stands out. The walls are black, the windows dimly lit, and the sign is made of backlit block letters. It feels… edgy. She’d like it.

“There.” Cas nods toward it. “The Hot Topical.”

The other thing is the matter of what.

Luckily, the Hot Topical seems to have a bit of everything. Dean sets off on his own soon after walking in, saying something about some Star Wars character or other. There's an overwhelming amount of pop culture merchandise, most of which Cas now recognizes. But he's not sure what kind of shows or movies Claire likes, so he opts against those.

Walking deeper into the store, he comes across the jewelry displays. Claire might like some, maybe stud earrings or a necklace, nothing too frilly. But if she's going to keep hunting, and she is, it's not very practical to wear things that can get caught and slow her down. He keeps walking.

The music section is mostly t-shirts. This is where he finds Dean, eyeing the wall curiously, but not looking like he's going to buy.

“Find anything?” Dean asks when he feels Cas next to him.

“Not yet.”

“You will. You got this," he says again, and Cas greatly appreciates the vote of confidence.

Dean turns his attention back to the shirts, and Cas, who isn't all that sure about Claire’s music taste either, goes over to the furthermost wall.

The back of the store is where they keep the miscellaneous things, apparently. One half of the wall is full of small, bobblehead-ish figurines whose heads don’t bobble (as Cas discovers when he picks one of the boxes up and shakes it). The other half of the wall has quite a few things: bags and backpacks on display, a few accessories such as mesh gloves that wouldn’t keep one warm in the slightest, and unnecessarily intricate belts. At the bottom of the wall, however, he spots some shelves with plushies.

That’s where something catches Cas’s eye.

Dean is already at the back of the line when Cas gets there. He's buying an enamel Scooby-Doo keychain and says it's because Baby's is old and he needs a new one; the unbridled delight in his eyes gives him away, though.

"A stuffed animal?" He asks when he notices what Cas is holding. There's no judgment in it. A bit of amusement and maybe, just maybe, a hint of fondness, Cas thinks.

Cas holds up the cat for Dean to take and examine. "It's an... inside thing."

"Right," Dean says, and hands it back.

Dean asks if he even has any money, to which Cas doesn't answer, realizing he doesn't. Dean happily pays for both items.

---

"She kept it, y'know," Dean says behind him, the next day. He pats Cas's shoulder, then heads back to the car, keys jingling against the new keychain.

Castiel stands there for a second, watching the cab roll completely out of the parking lot and out of sight, and he's wishing he could have hugged her longer. Despite having him and the Winchesters and soon Jody Mills, despite knowing she'll always have them… Claire is more alone now than she's ever been. Cas knows she's tough, tougher than she should've had to be, but she's still a kid (as much as she insists she's not).

He… doesn't pray. Not anymore. But he hopes. He hopes for her every day, hopes for her wellness and safety, hopes he'll be able to see her face again and not just read her words or hear her voice through a phone. And right this second, he's also hoping that his present to her, (which she kept, Cas thinks fondly), will be able to serve its purpose. That it'll be a small source of comfort if she were to ever need it.

---

That night, as Claire settles into a motel bed, she gets a text from Cas. It's a Grumpy Cat meme, one of many cat memes she's received from him since they agreed to stay in touch more. In this one, the image is the cat lying in bed with that face of his, and it says "How many people got trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough".

After having cried herself out in the backseat of the cab, she actually smiles for the first time all afternoon; it's not a wide or toothy smile but it's a smile, and she lets out an amused exhale through her nose, so that's something.

She texts him haha and the eye roll emoji.

Are you safe? Cas shoots back.

She double-checked all the locks on all the doors and windows. She's got a knife under the pillow and a gun under the bed. She's all set to get to Jody's by tomorrow. She breathes deep, squeezing the plushie tighter against her chest, and texts back.

I am. Night Cas

She doesn't have time to put the phone down before it dings again.

Good night, Claire. Sweet dreams.

They probably won't be all that sweet. They haven't been sweet in years. But at least now, when the bitter dreams inevitably wake her up, she's got something to hold. Or maybe strangle. Depends on the dream.

Plus, she's got an angel-dad watching over her, too. In a sense.

Claire lets the dryness in her eyes and the heaviness in her body take over, and she falls asleep. Grumpy Cat in hand.

---

Fic taglist: ask to be added or removed! <3

@casismymrdarcy @youcaneven @zorelle @spooky-floral-cas @lilcasx @oh-in-italics @theehunterhusbands @knifelesbianjo @spoookycastiel @shakespeareintellectualbadass @stressedtaco @aniridescentdreamer @mishacase2003 @spookymixtape @dykekingofhell @evermorecastiel @autumncastiel @nightandwine @doyouhearthedestielsing @all-or-nothing-baby @hauntedrederadean @ciderdean @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie @heres-to-evil-skanks @wormstacheangel @the-boy-kings-crown @10x02 @the-moon-loves-the-sea @ghostlynatural @one-more-offbeat-anthem @spookynightdeancas

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mandoalorian · 3 years

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I Believe In Love [Max Lord x F!Reader] - Epilogue

Summary: When you find your calling to leave Themyscira, you venture out to the World of Man with intentions of helping and healing a very specific person’s relationship with his son. You’ve heard his voice before, but only in dreams. You’ve felt his pain and anguish and you’ve never been able to relate to anything more. But things don’t come easy for you, and they certainly don’t come easy for him either. [This series contains spoilers for WW84 and is my interpretation of what happens after the movie ends].

Warnings: the long awaited epilogue. food mention, alcohol mention, pregnancy mention and FEELS.

Word Count: 2000>

REBLOGS APPRECIATED.

Masterlist

Previous - Epilogue - The End.

July 7th, 1985 (One year later).

So much had happened in the space of a year. You’d gone from being an Amazonian Goddess, haunted by the voice of a man from a far off world, to destroying the God of Lies for good, and discovering the beauty in true love. You still kept the crumpled up polaroid of Alistair and Maxwell that you’d taken back when he invited you into his home, last July. It had proven to be a better good luck charm than your tiara or lasso; and it served as a constant reminder of home.

Because home wasn’t Themyscira anymore. It was wherever Maxwell and Alistair were.

“And over here we have a vast collection of quartz! It’s usually mined in Brazil, and it’s the second most common crystal in the world.” Maxwell explains, using the most outlandish hand gestures everytime he speaks. He always spoke with his hands; even when he was on the television. You guessed that some things just didn’t change.

You watch him from afar, unable to contain the smile on your lips. His eyes sparkled and gleamed like diamonds as he gave facts about each of the gemstones he presented.

Black Gold had become an extension of the Smithsonian’s paleontology and gemology department, just like you had planned with Diana. When she had sorted it all out, and you broke the news to Maxwell, he was overjoyed. He hadn’t lost the business he’d worked so hard on, it had only been replaced by something even greater. And he couldn’t have done it without you. He’d spent so much of his life searching for happiness— looking in all the wrong places.

Through meeting you and gaining full custody of his son, he learned that success wasn’t money or wealth or having a solid career. For him, success was family. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

His eyes caught you standing in a shadowed corner. Alistair was holding your hand, and in your free arm, you were cradling your three month old daughter. He knew now, he’d finally found his happiness. He smiled over at his little family and you shot him a kissy face, giggling when you noticed the rose coloured flush that crossed his cheeks.

You and your little family waited for Maxwell to finish his tour guide of the museum, admiring his work ethic. You were so grateful that he was able to adopt his superb salesman skills and apply them to a profession he was truly passionate about. He’d always loved rocks and gems and stones, even having his own collection at home. But this… this was infinitely better than drilling oil and accidentally scamming millions across the globe. Maxwell was putting genuine smiles on people’s faces, kids too, and that in itself was a beautiful thing.

Once the tour group disbanded, Maxwell was quick to run over to you. He took your daughter from your arms and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I missed you,” you smiled, watching as Maxwell fussed over his daughter. “How was work?”

Maxwell’s dark eyes met yours and he beamed with delight. “Oh it was fantastic,” He grinned before excitedly telling you all the details about his day at work. He knelt down to Alistair’s level and ruffled his son’s black hair. “Did you enjoy visiting the aquarium with mommy?” he asked.

“It was amazing!” Alistair squealed, sharing the same excitement as his father. It was unbelievable how much Alistair was growing to be a Mini-Max.

Maxwell checked his wrist watch and gasped when he saw the time. He called Raquel over, who had agreed to watch the kids this evening while you and him had ‘date night’. It was a rarity for sure, and neither you or Max liked to be without your children, but tonight was extra important. It signified exactly one year since you entered Maxwell’s life and changed his world forever.

Once it was just you two, Max couldn’t keep his hands off you. “You look beautiful.” he grumbled, pressing kisses along your jaw and down the column of your neck. His large hands roamed your body, paying extra attention to your breasts. Clearly, he didn’t care if anyone was looking. You giggled and slipped out beneath him.

“Save something for tonight.” You laughed, rolling your eyes and taking his hand.

Tonight.

You had no idea what was to come.

“I’m sorry it’s not Greece,” Maxwell chuckled, reminiscing on your first holiday together (if he could even call it that). It was quite an unconventional one— as he’d never expected to go cave exploring with two Amazonian Godesses’ and kill a God. You laughed, rolling your eyes.

“It feels like yesterday,” you admitted. “Leaving Themyscira… giving up my powers. I can’t believe it’s been a year.”

Maxwell nodded knowingly. “Tell me, princess, if you could go back and change things, would you?”

You’d thought about the question numerous times. You did miss your mother, and the beautiful tranquil oceans of your home world. But if you could change things— would you? The answer was simple.

“No.” you beamed brightly, pressing your lips together.

“Good.” said Maxwell. He gestured a waiter over and ordered a bottle of the finest champagne.

Things had been a little rough for Maxwell, after the dreamstone debacle and all. Inevitably he had to sell his white suburban mansion, as he didn’t really have the steadiest of incomes rolling in. But in a way, he was relieved. He didn’t need all that space anyway, and actually he’d really come to like the much cozier apartment where you, him and Alistair were living now. But with a little one on the way, you had both been discussing the prospect of finding a place with an extra bedroom.

He was happy with his job at the Smithsonian. He was passionate about it too, which was the main thing. He was still a businessman , but a much nicer one. After all, the oil-mogul Max Lord was long gone, and had been replaced by a darker haired, sweater-wearing Maxwell Lorenzano. You had no complaints.

“Here’s the thing,” Maxwell announced, straightening his composure after you’d both finished dinner. “And there’s really no easy way to say this—“

You giggled, scrunching your nose up with curiosity. “Spit it out Maxie.”

“I’m in love with you,” Max revealed, brushing his thumb over your knuckles tenderly.

You nudged him playfully. “I know that, silly,” you laughed. “I’m in love with you too. But tell me, what’s really on your mind.”

Maxwell stiffened slightly. It was now or never.

“You have shown me so much kindness, and you’ve shown me hope when I didn’t believe things could get any better. You made sacrifices for me… for my family. Gave up your powers and the chance to see your own mom again. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make your decision worthwhile but I’ve known for a long time now that— I at least want to try. I don’t ever want to stop loving you. I want to be with you… forever. For the rest of my life. An eternity. Because you make me happier than I ever thought I could be,”

Tears pricked your eyes at Maxwell’s sentiment, your heart clenching with adoration in your chest.

“And with our family growing, and the possibility of getting a new house, I just… I want to know. I want to know if you’ll be my wife and— if you’ll marry me?” he finished, a hopeful glint in his chocolate brown eyes.

You couldn’t rid yourself of the smile that crossed your cheeks. “Yes Max,” you cried, leaning over the table and wrapping your arms around your fiancée. “Yes I will marry you.”

—————The end.

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl20 @phoenixhalliwell @xoxo-callie @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja200 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz @persie33 @sleepylunarwolf @martellthemandalor @pedro-pastel @steeevienicks @rrtxcmt @saphic-susperia @readsalot73 @softmedics @jade10077 @dodgerandevans @planetariumx @pascals-cat @ajeff855 @spideysimpossiblegirl @smoldjarin @thewayofthemandalorian

I Believe In Love tagged in replies 💕

#pedro pascal #maxwell lord #ww84 #max lord #pedro pascal x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal x you

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achillestiel · 3 years

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the parent trap only works if you’re identical | part six

AO3 Link - 3.1k words so you might want to just read on ao3

Tag List: @littlerachelbee @imthedoctorlove @deancas-handprint @castiel-loves-dean @wanderermatthews @thelahatiel @priscillahc @mridzyp @multi-fandom-dark-lord @thefantasyfiend @harmonyhelms @imlivingliferightnow @kara-merlin @still-clowning-in-this-house @never-forever-more @continuezmesfilserrants @2musiclover2 @castiels-bitch @stjimmie @cmths5

When Dean woke the next morning it was to the distinctive smell of waffles and the even more distinctive sound of Claire laughing. Letting out a small groan, Dean tried to move but found he was being held in place by the arms, and legs, of one very naked Cas Novak. Ah yes, how could he have forgotten about Cas’ obsession with wrapping himself around Dean like some kind of octopus? As Dean began to rouse he became distinctively more aware of the situation from the night before. The childish tit for tat fight with Cas that had ended up with them in bed together. Because of course that would happen. Both he and Cas knew it would happen because that's what they did. They fought like cat and dog before inevitably falling into bed together. This was why they’d come up with the stupid agreement to separate the twins, this was why they hadn’t seen each other in so many years. Because despite all the fights and how goddamn crazy Cas drove Dean, he loved him.

“Dad! Dads! Waffles are nearly ready!” Dean heard Claire yell from the kitchen. “Dads!”

“Claire, stop yelling. Be down in a minute!” Dean yelled back.

“You’re yelling!”

“Claire!”

“Fine!” Claire yelled.

“Why is there yelling?” Cas grumbled from where his face was pressed into Dean’s shoulder. “It’s too early for yelling.”

“That would be our daughter.” Dean said, suppressing a groan. “We should...we should probably get up before the pair of them barge in here.” Dean added, partly because it was true. Claire was probably a minute away from marching upstairs but also because his brain was a good thirty seconds away from imploding. All he knew was that he needed to get out of the house as quickly as possible, hoping to God that twins hadn’t heard anything from the night before.

Dean, of course, was completely unaware that the twins had woken up at six to disable the battery on the impala. He was also unaware that Claire and Jack had sent messages to Sam and Gabriel, stating that Cas had not slept in his own bed.

“You’re right.” Cas grumbled, removing his arms from around Dean. For a moment he missed the warmth and weight of Cas’ arms. “We should go downstairs.”

“Cas...should we talk about last night?” Dean stammered out as he watched Cas slide out of the bed, stark naked. Cas groaned and stretched, the muscles in his back rippling and all Dean could do was stare. For a sparklingly brief moment in time, Cas had been his. They’d belonged to each other. Dean could have slid out the bed and wrap his arms around Cas’ waist like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

“Can you guarantee that it won’t end in a fight?” Cas asked. He turned back to Dean, raising en eyebrow as he grabbed for his discarded underwear from the night before. Dean let out a groan and ran his hands over his face.

“Probably not.” Dean said from behind his hands.

“Dad! Waffles!” This time it was Jack yelling up the stairs.

“Jack, stop yelling. We’re coming down.” Cas called back. “Let me get changed, I’ll be right back.” Cas said, exiting the room while Dean just flopped back onto the bed. He was too old to be having an emotional crisis. He needed to get dressed. He needed to stop thinking about Cas naked.

"Good morning my little rays of sunshine!" Gabriel called when Dean and Cas walked into the kitchen.

“I thought you went home.” Dean grumbled.

“I did, I used my key this morning.”

"I'm getting my key back." Cas muttered as he shuffled over to the coffee machine.

"Sleep well?" Gabriel asked. "Worked up an appetite for waffles?" He added, cocking an eyebrow. Dean glared back before sitting down at the table. “Just asking a question.” Gabriel said.

“Not now Gabriel, just not now.” Cas said as he filled two mugs with coffee, handing one to Dean without saying a word.

“Thanks.” Dean said as Claire sauntered over with a plate full of waffles, syrup and fruit. “Morning, you packed Claire?” he asked. Claire just rolled her eyes and pointed at the waffles.

“Just eat breakfast dad.” She said while Jack handed a plate over to Cas. The twins sat down, their own plates stacked high with waffles, and exchanged smug looks.

“Well isn’t this lovely?” Gabriel said, sitting down across from the twins. Dean gave him a Sammy bitchy look as Gabriel grinned along with the twins.

“Ok, just spit it out.” Dean said. He pointed a syrup cover fork at Claire. “Because I know you Claire Mary Winchester, you can’t keep an opinion to yourself.”

“Are you and Dad getting back together?” Jack blurted out, staring at Cas. Sadly, Cas had taken a generous sip of his coffee. Cas spluttered and turned to just stare at Dean with a pleading look.

“Kids...look...your dad and I still really care about each other-”

“We gathered that after last night.” Jack said, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

“You guys are not quiet.” Claire added while Gabriel howled with laughter.

“Oh my god.” Cas muttered, burying his head in hands.

“OK, ok let’s stop talking about that.” Dean said holding up a hand because Cas looked a few seconds away from having a meltdown. “Kids, your dad and I still care about each other but we’re not going to get back together.” Dean said.

“But why?” Claire and Jack asked.

“For a lot of reasons that you’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Bulls-”

“Claire.” Dean warned.

“Ok, that’s horse poop.” Claire said. Dean just sat there and stared down his daughter until she huffed loudly and went back to eating her waffles. The rest of breakfast was a quiet affair, Dean and Cas barely exchanging a few words while Gabriel, Claire and Jack just smirked into their waffles. When breakfast was finally over Dean forced Claire upstairs to grab her stuff while he went outside to start the car.

Dean waited for the engine to turn over but nothing happened. “No baby, just start please.” Dean pleaded, sending out a silent prayer. He tried once again but nothing happened. Great, just great. Clambering out the car, Dean stomped back into the house where the twins were waiting for him. Claire’s duffel bag at her feet.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“The car wont start, I’m just gonna grab a torch so I can check over the engine.” Dean said.

“Not that I don’t think you're capable of looking over a car Dean-o, but why don’t I call my mechanic?” Gabriel asked, walking into the hallway holding a mug of coffee. “He can come and look over the car while you get to spend some time with the kiddos.” At Gabriel’s suggestion Jack’s face lit up.

“We could see the memorial or the library. Walk along the waterfront!” Jack suggested.

“Or go to the Smithsonian!” Claire offered.

“Who's going to the Smithsonian?” Cas asked as he too walked into the hallway.

“The car won’t start. I just need to grab a torch-”

“But Uncle Gabriel has said he can call a mechanic. That way we can spend the day together.” Jack intoned. “Please dad, we don’t know when we’re next going to be able to spend the day together.” he added. Both he and Claire gave Dean the puppy dog eyes and all of Dean’s steely resolve dissolved. Goddamn kids. Dean thought.

“Ok, if Cas isn’t busy then we can do something.” Dean said. “I’m only agreeing to this because it’ll stop you two from complaining.”

“Us? Complain? Never.” Jack said.

“I have nothing on today, I had the whole weekend free to spend time with Jack after he came back from camp.” Cas said.

“Excellent! I’ll call the old mechanic and you four can stroll around the capital with the dysfunctional family you are.” Gabriel said, beaming as he strolled out the room, phone in hand. How the hell did that just happen? Dean thought as the twins whooped loudly, running upstairs to go and get dressed.

“How...how did they do that?” Cas asked, looking from the staircase back to Dean.

“I don’t know...never let either of them get into politics, that’s how dictators are born.” Dean said. “I guess we should get ready...if you’re ok with this?”

“Dean, it’s fine. If it makes the kids happy then I’m happy.” Cas said.

An hour later Cas found himself, the twins and Dean walking around the main tourist spots of Washington DC. The sun blazed down on them as Cas stopped every now and then to offer facts or anecdotes. He pointed out his office as they made their way down Pennsylvania Avenue.

“Not too shabby Cas, makes the garage back home look like a salvage yard.” Dean said as Cas showed them the Eisenhower building.

“Not be silly, it’s just a building.” Cas said, feeling his face blush.

“Dude, we can see the White House from here. That’s cool.” Dean said.

“I’d offer you a tour but I know as soon as I walk in there I’ll be dragged into some budgetary discussion.” Cas explained. Under the hot sun they made their way towards 17th Street, both twins talking excitedly as they got closer to the Lincoln reflecting pool.

“Winter Soldier opening scene recreation?” Jack asked Claire excitedly.

“Loser buys the other ice cream.” Claire shot back. “Three, two, one...go!” She cried.

Cas watched as the twins sprinted away, laughing at each as they pumped their arms to go faster. Claire whooping loudly when it looked like she was winning.

"So...last night." Dean said, his hands in his pockets as he glanced at Cas. Instantly the mood changed but Cas knew they needed to have this conversation away from the twins.

"It was an inevitability." Cas said as he watched Jack push forward, laughing hysterically as Claire tried to catch him up. "As utterly impossible I find you, it's hard to be around you and not have it happen." Cas said, determinedly not looking at Dean. "You were the love of my life Dean. Sometimes I hate that I feel this way. Life would be easier."

"How so?" Dean asked.

"Because I wouldn't be here feeling like there was always a part of me missing." Cas explained. "I don't even know if you feel that way too but I do."

“You’re not the only who feels like that Cas.” Dean said after a beat. “Do you mean that? About something missing?" Dean asked.

"Why would I lie to you? You said that night that you would probably never be here again. There's no point in being false." Cas said. In the distance Claire and Jack were passing the Lincoln memorial. Cas smiled wistfully at the pair of them. "Over the years I would think about what it would be like if they met."

"Cas...you left. I didn't want you to."

"You're right and I think about that nearly every day." Cas said, finally looking over at Dean. He was looking back at Cas with a distraught look in his green eyes. "I tried to banish all memories of you but with you here, after spending time with Claire, everything is coming back."

"I'm going to say something that I've wanted to say for a long time. I’m going to say it because who knows when we’ll be here again." Dean said, taking a breath before speaking again. Cas braced himself for whatever Dean would say, not too sure how else he could react. "I never stopped loving you, I need you to know that. I see you in Claire all the time. It’s like seeing a ghost. The stubbornness, the way she just stares at you like she can into your soul...she's just so you."

"I have the same problem with Jack. He will say something and it will just hit me." Cas said as Dean’s words sunk in. “I...I never stopped loving you. I left but I still loved-”

“Winner!” Claire cried, racing over to Dean and Cas with a wide grin. Jack was seconds behind her, panting like crazy. “You owe me ice cream now.” Claire said joyfully to Jack.

“Ugh, fine.” Jack said.

“I guess this is the cue for ice cream.” Dean said, lowering his voice so only Cas could hear him. “We...we can talk about this later.”

By the time they made it back to the house Dean was exhausted. They had traipsed to several tourist spots and all he wanted to do was have a long nap. He was definitely going to need a strong coffee before heading back on the road with a sullen Claire in tow. The four of them had only just walked through the door when Gabriel appeared.

"Hey Dean-o, the mechanic looked over the car and it's fine. Turns the battery had been dis-" Gabriel stopped when he saw Claire frantically motioning for him to shut up. Dean rounded on his daughter.

"Claire?" He asked. “Any idea how the battery was disconnected on the car?”

“Haven’t a clue.” Claire said. Beside him, Dean heard Cas let out a snort.

“What? What about this is funny?”

“She has the exact same tell as Jack when she’s lying. She scratches her ear.” Cas said with a fond smile towards Claire, who beamed back.

“Don’t smile at that.” Dean said exasperatedly to Claire before rounding on Gabriel. “It doesn’t take long to reconnect the battery, why didn’t you call Cas and tell him?”

“I...I…” Gabriel stammered before groaning. “Sorry kids. Jack and Claire gave me fifty bucks to keep you guys out as long as possible. Preferably so long that you couldn’t drive back tonight.”

“Uncle Gabriel!” The twins cried.

“Ok enough.” Cas said. “You can go home.” He said pointing at Gabriel. “And you two can go upstairs to think about what you’ve done. Without your phones as well.” Cas said, holding out his hand for Claire and Jack’s phones. “Upstairs. Now.” He said in a firm voice. Both Jack and Claire groaned loudly before handing over their phones. Cas could hear them stomping up every step and into Jack’s room.

“Ok...I’ll just...head out. Toodles!” Gabriel said, giving Dean a salute before hurrying out of the living room. Once they heard the door close, Dean sank onto the couch and huffed loudly.

“I swear between Gabriel and our kids, my blood pressure has gone through the roof.” Dean said, rubbing his hands over his face.

“I know just the thing to help.” Cas said, leaving Dean alone in the living room for several moments before returning.“I thought that we could both do with a drink.” Cas said, walking into the living room holding two glasses of red wine.

“After the past two days I could drink a bar dry.” Dean said, accepting the glass from Cas. “Thanks.”

“You know, I love our kids but they are little shits.” Cas said bluntly.

“I know I can be blamed for Claire but Jack had you bringing him up. He should be an angel.” Dean said between sips of wine.

“In my defence, he has also had Gabriel’s influence so really there was no hope.” Cas said with a sigh. The pair sat in comfortable silence for several minutes as they drank their wine.

“You know, this isn't bad.” Dean said, holding out his glass. “What?” he asked when he saw Cas’ bemused expression.

“This is actually the same wine we had at our wedding. I’d say I’m surprised you don’t remember but then again, this is the same wine that caused you to drunkenly scream sing ‘Rock You Like A Hurricane’.” Cas said with a small smile. “I...well I had a bottle and thought…”

“We could reminisce?” Dean asked. He looked back at his glass with a strange look of longing.

“Are you ok?” Cas asked.

“Huh, of yeah...fine…” Dean said but Cas knew better. There had been a time when he had known every single aspect of Dean.

“You know, you don't have to be so gallant all the time Dean.” Cas said “You can tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Want me to be honest?” Dean asked. Cas nodded. “I’m thinking about how stupid I was for never coming after you. For splitting the twins up and not being married to you anymore.” Cas’ breath left his body as Dean placed his wine glass onto the coffee table. Time seemed to slow down as Dean lifted a hand to cup Cas’ cheek. He brought their foreheads together and let out a breath almost like a lament. “I miss you. I really miss you Cas.” Dean whispered. Cas pulled away for a moment to place his own glass on the table and turned back to Dean. “Say something.” Dean pleaded.

“I miss you too.” Cas said. Dean smiled that beautiful Dean Winchester smile and brought their lips together. Cas melted into the kiss, one that was so different from the frantic kisses of the night before. Last night had been fueled by something primal but now, the only thing fueling Cas was the wave of so many memories.

He was twenty one years old, stood next to his piece of shit car as a twenty three year old Dean grinned at him, promising that he could fix it for a great price. The two of them sitting in a dimly lit bar, Dean throwing back his head as he laughed at something Cas had said, slapping the table and finding it even more amusing that Cas didn’t even realise he was being funny. Dean kissing him for the first time and Cas knowing that he had found his home. Cas was twenty four years old, wrapped in Dean’s arms as they looked out across the vast ocean. Dean had stopped throwing up as he slowly found his sea legs. Cas saying that he was so happy and wasn’t sure how their trip to England could get any better. Dean slowly unwrapping his arms from Cas and looking nervous. Cas staring back with a confused expression, that expression turning to one of shock as Dean dropped down to one knee. Both of them standing with tears in their eyes as the captain pronounced them married. They were walking hand in hand as they made their way through Camden, Cas having to hold on tight so Dean wouldn’t try to get a tattoo. Dean dragging Cas to every single record store to hunt down albums they didn’t have.

Cas standing in the kitchen as Dean came barreling into the room, picking Cas up easily and spinning him round as they discovered they were going to be parents.

Every single memory crashed over Cas as he deepened the kiss. Breathless but not caring because he had missed this so much. No screaming at each other over broken mugs. Just love.

“Don’t leave in the morning.” Cas said pleadingly as they broke away.

“Cas…”

“Just...stay...I don’t know how but we can work something out.” Cas said breathlessly. “Please Dean.”

#deancas parent trap #deancas fic #destiel fic #deancas #destiel #sam writes #jesus this was longer than I thought it was going to be #it's choppy and shitty but i did my best #as always #if you want to be included in the tag list just let me know #there's porbably going to be 2 more parts to this #idk man i didn't even plan for it to be this long wtf

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writtenmemxries · 4 years

Text

You lit a fire in my heart

AU in which Dean is a firefighter, Castiel is a babysitter that panics a bit too much, and Jack has no idea that he shouldn’t follow his cat up on a tree.

[1822 words]

Of all the things Castiel could have done that Friday afternoon - go to the pub with his peers, go to the library, go grocery shopping - he was happy to babysit Jack, his best friend’s seven-year-old son.

Ever since Kelly got pregnant after a one-night stand, he had never left her side. They had met in high school, and thanks to their similar characters they quickly got along. They even went to college together. But then, when they were only twenty, Jack was born, and Kelly, going from carefree girl to single mother, was forced to drop out.

She felt the weight of her peers’ gazes on her, always ready to judge her, to point their finger at her, to whisper petty words.

“She forgot the condom, can you be more stupid than that?”

“They say the baby’s daddy left her alone, it was just a booty call!”

“Poor Kelly, she’s twenty and her life is already ruined.”

Those whispers haunted her incessantly, and Kelly couldn’t help but blame herself. But Castiel was always there, with her. He had never turned his back on her, he had never insulted or denigrated her, he had never looked at her with those eyes full of pity and compassion that she hated so much.

He simply helped her. He bought diapers. He kept an eye on the baby when she had to go to work in the small supermarket not far from home. He played with the kid, read him books, watched cartoons with him. He helped her raise Jack.

Still best friends after all those years.

Jack, growing up, often wondered where his real father was, why he wasn’t with his mom, why he didn’t love him enough to stay with him. But whenever his blue eyes met Castiel’s, all doubts suddenly disappeared. Castiel was enough for him. Or, as he called him, Cas.

So when Castiel had to look after the kid that afternoon, he didn’t mind. Or at least, not until Jack decided to play tag with his favourite toy: Gabe. The most annoying cat Castiel had had the misfortune to meet. His fur was red and his eyes greenish, as bright and magnetic as they were sly and mischievous.

“Jack! Be careful, for God’s sake!” Castiel shouted for perhaps the third time that day, but the boy ignored him completely, continuing to jump from one side of the living room to the other, trying to catch the big cat by the tail. His cackles were so loud that even the neighbor next door probably got a headache.

Sometimes Jack was a calm, quiet, polite child. Other times, however, he was a real scamp, impossible to get to sit and calm down.

“No wonder she asked me to keep an eye on him today. I’ve never seen him so freaking spry,” Castiel muttered to himself, adjusting the pot of plants that the cat had dropped with its long tail, hurrying to take a broom to clean the mess on the floor.

It was then that, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Gabe sneaking out of the open window, jumping onto a low branch of one of the big trees in the garden.

“Jack?” Castiel called in a hesitant voice.

There was no answer, and when he saw the front door close behind his ruffled blond hair, he felt his heart in his throat.

“Jack?!”

He ran out of the house, dropping the broom to the ground, scattering the dirt even more on the floor.

To both his immense horror and surprise, Jack was climbing up the tree, strangely nimble, trying to reach the cat, who was looking down at him with indifference. One foot after the other, an uncertain hand grabbing the low and strong branches, Jack managed to pull himself up with a force that one would never expect from such a small and minute child.

“Jack!” Castiel exclaimed, visibly agitated. “Get off the tree immediately!”

“I have to go get Gabe first,” the boy said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, as if he had done it a million times. And maybe he really had.

“Gabe is a cat, Jack. Cats know how to climb down trees by themselves.”

Jack giggled. “Gabe wants me to go get him. We’re playing tag!”

Castiel sighed in exasperation as the boy continued to climb.

Where the hell had he learned to do it, anyway?

“Jack, if you don’t get down here immediately, I will call your mother!” Castiel threatened him, but the boy didn’t seem to care.

“Who do you think taught me how to do it?” he said, shrugging.

Castiel rolled his eyes. Of course it had been Kelly. The same Kelly who had taught Jack to swim and ski has also taken him rock-climbing. Great.

He could almost hear her voice, sweet and calm, say something like, “Those are important skills, Cas!”

And in the meantime, Jack had managed to grab Gabe and was now hugging him, sitting on a branch far too high for Castiel’s liking, with his back against the solid trunk.

“See? I got him!” Jack beamed.

Castiel gave him a forced smile. “Okay Jack, well done. Now can you please get off there?”

Jack’s expression changed in a jiffy. He looked around, then looked down at Castiel, and finally seemed to notice how high he actually was.

Holding the poor cat even tighter, Jack shook his head hard in fear.

He was as frightened as Castiel was, and even though the young man kept repeating to himself no panic, no panic, he was definitely in panic.

All right Castiel, he thought to himself. Calm down. Don’t panic. Call the firefighters. He’ll be okay.

“Okay Jack,” he yelled to make sure the kid heard him loud and clear. “Don’t move from there, okay? I’ll go get help. We’ll take you down from there.”

And in the blink of an eye, he ran into the house, grabbed his cell phone and quickly dialed the number of the fire department.

If explaining on the phone what kind of emergency he was having was embarrassing, seeing a fire engine park in the driveway of Kelly’s house - still unaware of everything - was absolutely ridiculous.

A man, perhaps a couple of years younger than Castiel, got out of the truck and walked briskly towards him. The bulky fireman clothing made him look bigger than he was, but my God was he attractive.

Castiel found himself staring at him more than it was socially acceptable.

The young man looked at him with a smirk. “So, your son likes to climb trees, huh?”

Castiel blushed. “He’s not my son. I’m his- his babysitter.”

He laughed. “Are his parents paying you to train him to climb the Everest or what?”

“Do you get paid to be this funny or what?”

“Oh no, I’m a natural,” the man said, grinning. Castiel knew that that smile shouldn’t have made his heart miss a beat. But it had.

Castiel snorted and rolled his eyes, hiding the smirk that was growing on his lips.

“I’m Dean,” the firefighter said, holding out his hand.

Castiel stared into his eyes, so green and bright.

“Castiel,” he replied, shaking his hand.

Dean gave him another toothy smile, and Castiel couldn’t help but notice how white his teeth were. And so his gaze inevitably fell on his lips, so pink and full. Then it went up to his nose, thin and freckled, and finally it fixed itself again on those mesmerizing green eyes.

Dean cleared his throat, bringing Castiel back to reality. “I’d better get that kid back here, we don’t want him to get traumas from the experience,” he joked, rubbing the back of his neck.

Castiel nodded. “His name is Jack,” he said without even knowing why.

Dean hinted a smile, then went to his colleague, who lowered the ladder to the ground to bring him up to where the kid was. He was watching the scene from above, trembling and with tears in his eyes.

“It’s okay Jack. You can trust me,” Dean said quietly as he got closer.

“You’re a fireman,” Jack noted.

Dean smiled. “I am. And I’m here to help you and your friend Garfield over there.”

Jack furrowed his brows. “His name is Gabe.”

Dean laughed. “Alright, let’s take you and Gabe back to Castiel, okay?”

Jack nodded and let himself be picked up by Dean, who grabbed him gently but firmly with his strong and warm arms, and slowly went down the ladder.

Once they were finally on the ground, Gabe jumped out of Jack’s arms, while the child immediately fell into Castiel’s hug, who was relieved to see that, apart from a few scratches on his hands, he was fine.

“Stupid little monkey, what were you thinking?” Castiel muttered, burying his nose into the boy’s hair, taking in his scent.

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Dean said, watching the scene with a smile tugging at his lips.

Castiel released Jack from his tight grip and held his hand, perhaps to subconsciously prevent him from running away again.

“Thank you Dean, I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Dean chuckled. “My pleasure.”

He stood there, shifting his weight from side to side.

Castiel watched him, a slight blush on his cheeks. Finally, he cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll leave you to your job, then. I’m sure you have lots of children to rescue.”

“Oh yeah, so many lives to save, kittens to rescue... busy days.” He took a deep breath, looking away. “It’s a shame that my evenings are all boring instead, y’know.”

Castiel’s eyes widened, and he thought he saw a hint of hope in Dean’s eyes, who now stood right in front of him. “Yeah... M-mine too,” he whispered.

“I guess you’re free tonight, then,” Dean said, fixing his eyes into Castiel’s blue ones.

He swallowed. ��I am.”

Dean smiled. “Perfect,” he said, taking the pen Castiel kept in his shirt pocket - and if Castiel shuddered at that brief contact, he pretended not to notice - writing his phone number on the man’s hand. “I’ll see you tonight, then?”

The sudden sound of the truck’s horn made them both wince in surprise.

“Dean, you ready or what? They’re waiting for us at the fire station!” his grumpy colleague exclaimed from inside the fire engine.

Dean gestured vaguely with his hands, then shifted his attention back to Castiel, waiting for an answer.

“Sure, see you tonight,” he said softly.

Without furthed ado, Dean headed for the truck, waving shyly at the man before climbing into the passenger seat.

Taking one last look at Castiel, who was staring with confusion and disbelief at the numbers scribbled on the back of his hand, Dean turned to his colleague with a fond smile.

“Bobby, do you believe in love at first sight?”

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nataliekabra · 3 years

Note

What happened on november 5??

jdfhgjghgb CAT this feels like suicide

i probably shouldn’t answer this cos ill inevitably say something sacrilegious and give the gAyS a bAd nAmE but you know what ill risk it

for the record i don't understand half of what was going on either lmao

CASTIEL/MISHA STANS IF YOU SEE THIS BY ANY CHANCE PLEASE ABORT

november 5th was probably the most irritating chaotic day on tumblr?! like first off it was election week in the US with sToP tHe cOuNt and whatever their government is at this point (not saying ours is any better for the record) and oh my god it was annoying for the rest of us but you know it was a stressful day with a lot at stake so it was warranted

but GET this half of american tumblr was freaking out over kicking orange nut out and the other half?! was somehow being even more insufferable and THAT is a long story that has honestly scarred me

so there’s this horrendous show called supernatural that’s been running for way too long that ended with it’s like 15th season last year

it’s one of those shows which parades around it’s fantastical plot or whatever but everyone really watches it for the supposedly hot white men being gay together except they aren’t really gay and it’s just a vaguely misogynistic queerbaity mess

SO in 2013 for some reason. at the peak of tumblr’s obsession with white not gay gay men (see: johnlock, drarry, etc.). everyone on tumblr unanimously decides to have a “mishacalypse” and changes their profiles to misha, the dude who plays the gayer of the two white gays

FAST FORWARD TO 2020 AND THE SHOWRUNNERS HAVE THE MOST AWFUL CLIMAX EVER AND MAKE MISHA’S CHARACTER CONFESS HIS LOVE FOR THE OTHER PASTY GAY IN THE LAST THREE EPISODES

AND THEN THEY IMMEDIATELY KILL HIM

AND TUMBLR FOR SOME REASON DECIDES TO HAVE A MISHACALYPSE 2.0 BECAUSE THEY’RE MASOCHISTS IDK

EXCEPT THIS TIME EVERYONE CHANGES THEIR PROFILES TO MISHA’S CONFESSION

AND MISHA/CASTIEL/DESTIEL (THE SHIP) MEMES ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE AND GAVE EVERYONE A MIGRAINE

THE PROPAGANDA

it was chaos and I usually live for that?! but this was horrifying okay

AND THEN

everyone for some reason thought putin was resigning

which was a whole thing

the silver lining is at least we're all semi-prepped for the zombie apocalypse now

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mishapeesha · 3 years

Text

hello friends! i have decided to start writing a fanfiction (although I am......not that experienced with writing, but I will trY)

anyways! the pairing is obviously deancas, and since I’ve just written the first chapter, the tags will be limited until I further develop the story. The rating will change if needed, trigger warnings will be added if necessary, and so on!

the summary:

A package is mailed to Castiel Novak, a 27 year old with unknowingly very limited knowledge on a certain aspect of his life. It’s filled with what seems like hundreds of letters all to him, a single person. Memories and confessions of love are penned within those letters. As time goes on, he feels drawn to the person on the other end and sets out to find them – and the letter’s inevitable true destination that ties the final loose end in Castiel's life.

ao3 link!:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28625316/chapters/70161738

i would really appreciate any feedback, or just boosting this would be pretty cool too!

for anyone that doesn’t wanna read on ao3, chapter 1 starts below!

September 18th, 1992

Castiel’s chest bounced as he jogged down the stairs aligned in a wide spiral, his eyebrow quirked up in confusion as his doorbell buzzed repeatedly with barely a second in between every ring. He winced at the harsh sound of it, noticing how military-like it was in the way that the alarm went off. It was always a task of his to get it changed, but he never got the chance to. Either because he didn’t feel like it, or because his memory disallowed him to remember something as unimportant as a doorbell.

“Coming!” He called out to whoever bothered to show up at his house so early in the morning. Castiel paused beside the bookcase placed beside his door, glancing at the mirror in order to adjust the loose strands of hair that spiked in different directions with the frantic brush of his fingers. He let out a sigh as his gaze shifted towards the reflection of the wall clock behind him, seeing that it was barely 7:05 am. Just as he turned to face the door, that annoying noise rang in his ears once more. Maybe one day he’d go through with that mental task of changing the buzz to something more audibly pleasant.

His fingers wrapped around the metal doorknob, and a click emerged as he swung the door open, being immediately met with a man who he had never seen in his life. His eyes quickly scanned over the man, noticing that he was in uniform, so he classified him as harmless. What damage could a mailman do? Hand him a letter and give him a papercut? Though there was a look on the mailman’s face that Castiel couldn’t quite place. He was torn between thinking it was some sort of discomfort towards Cas personally, or just general exhaustion because it could just be that he was tired. There wasn’t really anything enjoyable about driving to several homes, handing gifts to so many people while barely surviving off of minimum wage and receiving nothing in return.

“Castiel Novak?” The man asked, shifting in his spot momentarily as he held a medium sized box underneath one arm, and a clipboard in the other hand. Castiel took note that his name was Thomas after noticing the nametag attached to the pocket on the fabric of his blouse.

“Yes, that’s me.” Castiel replied, opening the door slightly more after feeling more comfortable to do so. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked past Thomas, wondering if anyone was following him, or if they were being watched. They seemed to be alone, so Cas stopped tapping his fingers against the wooden door, although he hadn’t realized that he began to do that in the first place. “Is there anything that you need of me?”

“Well,” Thomas began with a nod. He cleared his throat and placed the clipboard in between his legs to use both of his hands, and then offered Cas the box he held. “We’ve had this in the office for a while now, but it was specified to be delivered on this day to this address, and to you.” He explained, biting his lower lip in what Cas took as some sort of minimal panic, or uneasiness. “The sender wishes to remain anonymous, however.” He added, as if it were nothing unusual.

“Anonymous?” Castiel questioned and drew a frown onto his face. He shook his head and reverted back to closing the door, but he kept a smaller gap so that the two of them could still communicate. “I will not be accepting a box from someone who doesn’t wish that their identity is revealed. It could be anything, and I am not willing to risk my safety.” He deadpanned before he glanced down at the box, not trusting whatever was in it. Why would anyone refuse to mention their name unless they were someone dangerous and not to be messed with?

Thomas stared at Cas for a few moments as he was now met with the confusion of what to do with the box now that the apparent receiver was blatantly rejecting it. He swallowed hard as an uncomfortable smile curled the corners of his mouth.

“Mr. Novak, I can assure you nothing that will hurt you is in this box. Not only is it very light, but it would also be a shame if this was thrown out. As I mentioned, this has been collecting dust in our office. It has been for the last four years.”

Castiel froze at Thomas’ words, struck with surprise. He had absolutely no idea who sent the box, what was in the box, or why it was sent in the first place. Cas was Cas. The person he spoke to the most was his brother, and even then, he barely saw Gabriel to begin with. They spoke less and less as the years passed, and so Castiel was alone for the majority of the time. So, he couldn’t quite process how he had a package delivered to him, when he knew his brother barely had the energy to stop by his house for a quick hello. He was a generally distant individual. An outsider to himself, his family, and others.

This did not add up.

“Four years you say?” He asked, tilting his head to the side as he looked between Thomas and the box, earning a nod in reply. He sighed in defeat and once again, opened the door. “You really can’t tell me who sent it? Surely you must know.” Cas said, raising his eyebrow as he finally decided to take the box from Thomas’ hold. “It isn’t heavy.” He pointed out in confirmation to what Thomas previously stated, now more so curious to know what he was sent rather than worried.

“I’m not at liberty to say. I’m sorry.” Thomas responded and rubbed the back of his neck before he remembered to pull the clipboard from between his legs. “Could you sign this, please?”

Castiel took the pen and scribbled a random signature on the piece of paper, nodding at Thomas who offered a small smile at Cas. “Thank you.” He murmured quietly, clutching the box to his chest.

“Of course. Have a good day.”

“And you as well.”

A creak erupted from the door as Castiel let it close on itself, and eventually the atmosphere fell back into silence. But suddenly, he became almost hyper-aware of his surroundings. He couldn’t tell whether it was his actual heartbeat that he could hear, or if he was overhearing some rhythmic beat from his neighbor’s home nearby. And he definitely grew irritated at the loud ticking sound of the clock on the wall that seemed to follow him as he dragged himself through the hallway to the living room.

The walls seemed to follow his every movement, making Cas feel judged and uneasy. And just for a moment, a sense of guilt rose in him. There was no source for it, yet there was some inexplainable physical tug to what Cas held in his hands, allowing negative emotions to faintly flood into him. He was convinced that his thoughts echoed off those same walls, as any word spoken in his mind just sounded too intense and loud in his ears.

Cas sat down on the couch, sinking into the mattress as he leaned forward to place the box on the coffee table in front of him. His bottom lip became a victim of his anxious habits where his teeth would peel at the loose, dry skin, drawing blood that lightly pooled into his mouth and presented a metallic taste.

“What could you be?” He spoke out loud to himself, picking at the loose thread poking out of the couch. He exhaled and used his nails to tear off the tape sealing the box shut. It looked like an average box, which made any assumptions as to what could be inside completely impossible to Cas. It’s not like he expected a bomb to be inside, but he also didn’t expect a proper gift. So, then what? What made a box so big, yet so light at the same time? What was so important that it absolutely had to be sent to Cas four years later?

Once he managed to tear the seals off, he took in a deep breath. He didn’t know what he would be getting himself into, and yet he knew there was absolutely no way he’d be able to keep himself from looking inside. So, before he knew it or could hesitate, the box was opened, revealing the last thing Cas would have expected.

Letters.

Lots of them.

“What the hell..?” He breathed out, flipping the box over so that the letters scattered out across the table. His eyes widened in both confusion and shock, and he immediately reached to pick one up. He examined the envelope: Clean, neat, and numbered with a bold 30 on it that was also in the colour of purple. There was no stamp. There was no name. Just a singular number, and nothing more than that.

Or it would be nothing more if he decided to keep the envelopes tightly secured.

Curiosity killed the cat, didn’t it? Though at the same time, he really did have nothing to lose. A dance with death was the least of his current concerns.

By the look of things, it appeared as though there was a certain number of letters in the box, labeled from one to an unknown limit. For all that could be known, there could be fifty letters, a hundred, or a thousand. He doubted he’d read all of them, because what could possibly be so interesting that the writer thought it was imperative that Cas knew?

The bigger question was, who wrote them?

Castiel shuffled through the envelopes until he found the first numbered 1 in red. His mouth went dry, and his brain raced with questions that he had no answer to at all. He hated being blind to the truth, to be instead engulfed in a mystery, like his life was some sort of game. He wanted to know what was going on, and he wanted to know now. But given all that Cas was presented with, he knew it would be a long time before he knew what was actually going on. It could be days, weeks, months. All depending on how much Cas read, and how fast.

He fiddled with the letter in his hand, debating whether or not to open it. He had to. He could just read this one and throw the others out. And maybe he’d get the answers he needed in the first envelope, making it possible to ignore the others.

The paper ripped beneath his fingers, and soon enough, he held a paper in his hands. The first out of many.

Quickly, his eyes scanned over the words written, immediately blocking them out because he refused to jump too far in what was visibly so carefully put together. He wanted to take his time and appreciate the effort put into all of this. But he did take notice of the handwriting. It was a combination of neat and messy. Definitely readable, and a little too familiar. It was nice, simply put. But Cas could sense the desperation in the way the words were written. They were rushed, and well thought out of as well. Like whoever wrote knew what to say, just not how to say it.

Dear Castiel,

Knowing you, you’re probably freaked the hell out right now. And... Well, you should be.

Cas frowned and scoffed, rolling his eyes at the paper. Already, the letter was referring to him, and he had no idea about who was writing. Clearly, off to a great start.

Or not. Actually, don’t freak out. You don’t need that. Anyways…grab yourself that weird coffee that I know you like and get comfy.

What I’ve done here for you is write a hundred letters. Or I’m planning to, at least. Hopefully I commit to this. I guess if you’re reading this, I’ll have succeeded, so yay me, I guess. But I want you to really read them. To understand it all because there is so much that you don’t know. About me, about you, and more importantly, about us. I know you might be scared-

Castiel looked away and shook his head, setting the letter down on the table causing it to fold in on itself with how long it had been creased for. He rubbed his forehead and sighed, mumbling something incoherent underneath his breath. Not even halfway through the first letter, and Cas was already overwhelmed. Everything in him begged him to stop reading, but he couldn’t stop himself from reaching back towards the piece of paper and picking it up once more. He was certain that would be a decision he would regret in the future.

-and that’s okay. Fear’s good. Sometimes, at least.

Please, hear me out, alright? I need you to keep an open mind. You gotta, man. Or else this won’t work. I don’t mean to put on a show and get all dramatic, but I need you to level with me. To feel with me, and to get angry and hurt whenever you feel like it. I need you to bust open your damn walnut, and pull me out of that chest that you’ve got stuffed in there somewhere.

Cas, you may not know me now, but I know you.

I’m writing this on September 18th, 1988. We met five years go..I don't really know when you'll get this. Could be ten years from now. Guess we'll see.

I need you to remember.

Work that big ol’ brain of yours and try to not be the dumbass that you tend to be. It's my fault you're in your current situation, but you need to try. If not for me, then for you.

We haven't spoken in so long, Cas. And saying I miss you won't change a damn thing because you don't even know who I am, but I do miss you. And you can take that however you want for now, but you'll understand it all eventually. If you decide to actually go through with this and read all that I've written for you.

“Situation?” Castiel asked out loud, as if he’d get a response. Of course, he was met with silence. But he still had no idea what was happening. He didn’t know what any of this meant, but he did know this had the potential to ruin his entire life. In fact, it felt like everything started slowly tumbling down already.

And yes, he had nothing. But was it worth the loss?

I’ll tell you everything. No plot-holes, not shit-holes, or whatever. All I ask is that you read. It’s that simple.

That’s all for now. Sorry for the short first letter. I’ll see you soon.

-Dean W.

“Dean?” He whispered, and at that, his chest knotted tightly as he took in a shaky breath. He widened his eyes and wheezed, an uneasy feeling creeping its way up his chest. So, the writer had a name. One that Cas mentally did not recognize, but he physically did apparently.

What the hell did the "W" stand for? He didn't know. Or rather he couldn't remember, according to what the letters were saying.

He set the letter down and stared at the others, scratching at his arm as he eyed the unorganized mess that had now grounded him in his place. Out of all of the things he could have received that day, he just had to get what was probably the most confusing thing he had ever been confronted with.

The possibility of fault grew, and all Cas could do for now was allow himself to become engulfed in the non-existent voice of a series of letters that he was yet to understand, and so rightfully dreaded.

#deancas #destiel #destiel fic #destiel fanfic #spn #supernatural #spn fanfic #destiel fanfiction #spn fanfiction #dean winchester #castiel #jensen ackles #misha collins #destiel endgame

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fanfic-corner · 3 years

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Darling, So It Goes

Happy holidays, @slothbaby424! I may not have had as much time as I would like to have had to work on your @destielsecretsanta2020 fic, but I hope you enjoy it anyway (so sorry but it has not been proofread. At all). And a big thank you to @exmintha for the idea when I was struggling!

Again, here’s the playlist. It’s not necessary, but I like listening to music while writing and it’s got a load of Christmas bops on as well!

And, here’s the fic! It is 4639 words, and here’s the link on AO3 if you prefer.

{o0o}

“Pretty please?”

Dean huffed in annoyance, shifting from foot to foot. He really didn’t want to spend a day being pestered by demanding young children and their parents, but when Donna asked like that… well, he wasn’t a monster. “Fine. But if anyone gets any kind of bodily fluid on me, I am out.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, sweetheart,” she replied, grinning wildly, and Dean had to smile back. And so, that was how Dean Winchester found himself decked out in the full Santa outfit - beard and hat included - for the Wayward Sister’s Christmas party.

Ever since they had set up the girl’s home, Jody and Donna had insisted on a big Christmas party. The first year, it was just a way to entertain the kids for the day, but since then it had evolved into an affair of epic standards. Practically the whole of Sioux Falls would show up at one point or another, usually with presents in tow. One year, Jody had confessed to Dean that they probably wouldn’t have been able to keep going without the support they got at Christmas.

To start with, Dean was not a good Santa. There were so many children that he had to keep track of, and who all wanted something and asked awkward questions that he didn’t have the answer to, and the hat was itchy and he could hardly see past the beard. By the time lunch rolled around, however, he had gotten into the swing of things, and was actually starting to enjoy himself.

That was when a stranger dumped a litre of chocolate milk over a guest’s head.

{o0o}

Castiel had been very grateful to get an invitation to a Christmas party, especially one from the people who had helped him adopt his son. He had learnt the hard way that society really doesn’t like gay people adopting kids, even if they were single.

Two hours after arriving, however, he was starting to have second thoughts. There were way more people than he expected and he had never been what someone might call a ‘social butterfly’. More like an ‘anti-social slug’, as Gabriel had once called him. The food was nice, but as it turned out, not all the people were.

“So, where’s your wife? Leave you with the kids, did she?” a man - Zachariah, Castiel thought his name was - said, punching him in the arm slightly harder than necessary.

“Oh, no, I enjoy doing things with Jack. And I’m not married.”

Zachariah looked Castiel up and down, and let out an interesting noise. He supposed it was probably meant to resemble disbelief, but to him, it sounded like an elephant stomping on a whoopee cushion. “Divorced, are you?”

Castiel raised his eyebrows. Did this man realise he was asking wildly inappropriate questions? He had half a mind to say ‘widowed’ just to see his reaction, but he didn’t dare. “No, I’m not.”

Zachariah seemed mildly uneasy at that, as if he wasn’t sure what other options there were left. “Well, I’m sure a nice lady will come along soon.”

“Actually, I’m gay,” Castiel corrected. So what if it wasn’t 100% true? In his opinion, this idiot deserved to be made as uncomfortable as possible.

Zachariah’s reaction was a little more… extreme than he was expecting. And, by extreme, what Castiel meant was that the man seemed to go through several stages - disbelief, at first, then confusion, and then his posture turned rigid and his face started turning a deeper and deeper shade of tomato red - before completely exploding into some kind of homophobic rage.

Castiel wasn’t even listening to the man ranting, just picking up words like ‘Jesus’ and ‘disgusting’ and more slurs than he could count. He was more concerned by all the children nearby who could hear the garbage this man was spouting, and he needed a way to quickly shut him up.

So, he took the obvious route, and poured the entire carton of chocolate milk that he had got for Jack over his bald head.

{o0o}

Dean felt, as Santa, he should probably go and sort out whatever argument the two morons were having that led to the waste of a perfectly good drink. He had been concerned about kids getting some kind of gunk on him, but apparently adults were equally messy.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” Dean asked, standing slightly in between them even though he couldn’t imagine either of them starting a fist fight. The guy covered in milk looked furious, but he was the kind of jerk who wouldn’t want his suit to get any messier than it already was, and the other dude looked like he was in some kind of shock.

“This- This queer just assaulted me!” Suit Man shouted, and Dean suddenly and rather desperately hoped that that chocolate milk was never coming out.

“Excuse me?” he asked, not entirely sure how to respond to that.

“It’s disgusting. They shouldn’t be able to raise a child in that lifestyle. It’s appal-”

“Shut up,” Dean said, rather forcefully and uncomfortably aware of the entire room’s eyes on him.

“What did you just say to me?”

“I said, shut up. What is really disgusting here is your behaviour. You think it is okay to be horrible to another human being just because of who he loves? Now that is bad parenting.”

If anyone asked him later, Dean would say that he was fuming. That his anger was clouding his judgement. That this dude was being an asshole at Christmas in front of kids. Maybe that’s why his brain spotted the teachable moment - no one argued with fucking Father Christmas - and leaned down, slowly pulling the other man towards him and kissing him gently.

To be honest, Dean was sure that he would pull away. In fact, he gave the stranger plenty of time to do so. But instead, he kissed back. Maybe he was in shock. Maybe he also saw what Dean was doing. But they kissed, and Dean knew, somehow, that it was the beginning.

{o0o}

Castiel went to that stupid party because he thought it would be a good way to entertain Jack for the afternoon, and instead left feeling simultaneously embarrassed, with the bonus of a random man’s number. Who he had kissed. In front of a room full of people.

To his continued surprise (although Castiel thought that perhaps there was a limit on how many surprises he could process in one day), the man - Dean, he said his name was, seemed genuinely interested in going on a date with him.

The Roadhouse didn’t look like a particularly romantic spot, but he was not backing out now.

“You must be Castiel.” A stern-looking woman looks him up and down before nodding in approval. “I’m Ellen. You better not hurt my boy,” she warned with a threatening smile, gesturing towards where Dean was sitting in a booth in the corner. He was clearly not reading the menu, his eyes glassy and unfocused, but he fiddled with it anyway, his leg restlessly bouncing under the table.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greeted as he sat down, hoping he was hiding his nerves as well as he thought he was. Remember, fake it ‘til you make it, Meg’s voice reminded him. She had been so excited when he called her about his date, threatening him with unspeakable violence if he didn’t show up. Although, Meg could threaten unspeakable violence about anything. She once left the entirety of his cutlery drawer under Castiel’s duvet just because he forgot to feed her cat once.

“Hiya, Cas,” Dean replied, grinning at him. Even though he was clearly nervous, he still seemed sincerely glad to see him, and it warmed his heart. “You don’t mind if I call ya that, right? Oh - before I forget, you should totally get the Elvis burger. It’s absolutely amazing.”

The meal went remarkably well, considering that Cas usually avoided dates like the plague. First dates were the worst - the annoyance of getting to know each other, and the inevitable awkwardness at the end - and he rarely saw anyone more than once. After a particularly bad night, which had ended with Meg having to come and pick him up from a park during a thunderstorm, Cas had sworn off dating. Yet, here he was, and he couldn’t deny he was enjoying himself.

Just as they had finished eating, two girls bounded up to the table. They clearly knew Dean somehow; one was skinny and blonde and Cas could swear that he could see a knife peeking out from her apron, and the other had flaming red hair and a t-shirt which proclaimed ‘the internet is broken, so I’m outside today’.

“Wanna decorate cookies with us?” they exclaimed at the same time, and before he could process what was happening, Cas had been dragged over to the kitchen where there was already a tray of perfect biscuits cooling on the counter.

The next half an hour was spent in a whirlwind of icing and sprinkles and sugar, and Cas loved every minute, although he really hoped that none of the cookies ended up being given to customers, because he had seen Jack make mud cakes more hygienic than this. Charlie sat in a corner on her phone, blasting Christmas music while focused on texting and taking pictures, whereas Jo was thoroughly entertaining herself by drawing inappropriate designs on her biscuits. Dean and Cas’ actually ended up looking okay, but neither of them were artists, so the cookies still looked like they had been decorated by a toddler.

When they were finished, they left Charlie and Jo to clean up and went back into the main area of the now empty restaurant. A new song came over the speakers, slow and enchanting, and Dean offered Cas a hand. “A dance before you go?”

Dancing with Dean, Cas decided, was magical. They swayed together, gradually getting closer and closer until their chests were pressed together and Cas’ head was resting on Dean’s shoulder. For a minute, Cas could forget everything but this moment. He allowed himself to simply be lost in the music and the warmth of Dean’s body, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat and feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

As the song ended, Dean carefully pulled apart just enough to lean down and join their lips in a tender kiss, and Cas thought that he could be in heaven.

But the kiss only got deeper and suddenly Cas’ mind flickered back online just in time to remind him what a ridiculous idea this was. Red flashing lights screamed and wailed and reminded him of what always happened, and the sudden warning jolted his body into action, pulling away from Dean in a panic.

Dean looked down at him with a lazy smile, only frowning when he realised something was wrong. “Cas? Wha- did I do something wrong?”

Cas was shaking his head and reversing all at once, all higher functioning processes having been thrown out of the window. He was babbling, apologising and saying it wasn’t Dean and all the while he knew he was on the edge of some kind of embarrassing meltdown, so in the end, he let his feet do the talking, and fled.

{o0o}

Dean didn’t think the fact he hadn’t left his house in two days had anything to do with the best date he had ever been on ending with the other dude running out on him, but apparently Charlie did. She had been pestering him all day, asking if he wanted to help her decorate for Christmas or go and get milkshakes or watch a film. No matter what she suggested, Dean always declined. He wasn’t feeling it, and if it had anything to do with the trenchcoat staring at him from across the room, he wasn’t going to admit it to anyone.

It wasn’t the first time someone had run out on him, of course, but usually that was on a particularly awkward date or if something bad had happened. He just couldn’t understand what had sent Cas running out of the Roadhouse like that, so panicstricken that he forgot his coat which he came with. Dean didn’t think he had read the situation that badly; in fact, he had been sure that the other man had been enjoying their date.

He sighed and pulled the pillow over his head, trying to ignore his phone as it pinged constantly. Yeah, it was probably Charlie spamming him, but there was always the chance it could be Cas…

Charlie: What about we just go on a really long drive?

Charlie: You can pick the music

Charlie: You shouldn’t be cooped up on Christmas eve eve!

Charlie: Dean Winchester, you better not be ignoring me

Charlie: Dean???

Ellen: You still coming to the party tomorrow?

Oh, shit. Dean had totally forgotten about the Annual Roadhouse Christmas Bash. It was the perfect opportunity to distribute the presents and cards he bought, there was plenty of delicious (and free!) food, and it was generally the highlight of his Christmas. Everyone would be there - Ellen and Jo, Bobby, Charlie, and practically everyone else who lived within a hundred mile radius.

No matter how down Dean was feeling, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. In his opinion, family came before everything.

Dean: course i am

{o0o}

“Come on Clarence, it’s Christmas!” Meg encouraged, nudging Castiel’s shoulder. “I’ll go with you, and Claire can watch Jack. She already agreed.”

Castiel looked down at the napping toddler, one thumb in his mouth and a teddy clutched tight in his tiny hands. It felt like he had barely spent any time with his son in forever, even though he knew it wasn’t true. He knew that if he really didn’t want to go, Meg would let him weasel his way out of this particular social gathering, but he couldn’t help but think that it might be good for him.

“An hour’s all I’m asking,” Meg begged. He was surprised she hadn’t threatened him with Nair or something yet.

“Fine.” Just one hour, and then a quiet Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?

{o0o}

Dean had busted out his favourite leather jacket, and (at Charlie’s desperate begging) was even wearing just a bit of eyeliner. He was determined to not let his failed date ruin his favourite thing about Christmas, and he would be damned if he spent another minute thinking about Cas.

(So, maybe he had brought the forgotten coat along with him, but that was just so he could give it to Ellen in case Cas came in the Roadhouse again! She was much more likely to see the dude again than him, anyways. It wasn’t Dean’s fault that - because of Charlie’s enthusiasm to get inside - he had left the thing in the Impala's trunk.)

For the first hour, his plan entirely succeeded. He was distracted by the gift exchanging and the procuring of food and catching up with old friends and avoiding people he didn’t like (namely that one girl who delivered food for Ellen sometimes who he could swear was a demon). It was only after the hour mark when he swore he saw a familiar mop of dark hair, but he immediately dismissed the thought. No way.

He went into the kitchen and chatted to Benny for a while, enjoying catching up on his old friend’s life. Perhaps he got a bit distracted when he heard a familiar gruff voice in the hallway, but other than that, he was sure that his mind was playing tricks on him. Besides, Jo was always up to something. Just because she had a glint in her eye when she came into the kitchen, it didn’t mean anything special. Probably just that some poor fool had a whoopee cushion on their chair somewhere.

It was about halfway through the party when Dean’s plan really started to fail. The music suddenly seemed too loud and the once friendly crowd suddenly made him feel claustrophobic. The smell of burgers and chocolate - no matter how delicious Dean knew they were - was making his stomach roll. The best course of action, he decided, was to step outside for a few minutes, to get some fresh air.

He didn’t expect to find Castiel already out there.

{o0o}

Meg - being Meg - had absolutely insisted, upon their arrival at the Roadhouse, that she didn’t know that it was the location of Castiel’s failed date. Apparently she had been invited (with a plus one) because she occasionally delivered food for them or something, but Castiel smelt a lie in there somewhere.

It would be fine. One hour, free punch and food, and he could go home. He could avoid Dean for one hour. He might not even be there.

An hour in, and Castiel was sure he wasn’t there, in fact. He politely greeted Ellen (who glared daggers at him, which he felt he deserved) and Charlie (who apparently knew Meg). He had a conversation with Jo outside the kitchen (which mostly consisted of him asking where the toilets were and Jo asking if he had called Dean). In fact, he was actually having a fairly pleasant time when he realised that they probably wouldn’t make it home in time to relieve Claire of her babysitting duties, so he quickly rushed outside to call her, but she didn’t pick up.

God only knew where Meg was, but she was - as she put it - a ‘big girl who could handle herself’, so Castiel didn’t bother waiting up. He simply called a taxi, hoping it would get there before he froze to death. He still hadn’t managed to find his favourite coat, and he had deeply mourned his loss.

He was so caught up in hopping from foot to foot and thinking about how much of a tip he was going to give Claire that he nearly didn’t hear the voice coming from the doorway.

“Cas?” Dean Winchester asked.

Fuck, he thought, slowly turning around to be met with the sight of the gorgeous man with a handsome jacket and eyes like a forest. Oh, he was so fucked.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied instead, not sure what else to say.

The younger man walked up to him tentatively, as if any quick movement he made might scare Cas off. “Uh… what are you doing here?”

“Meg convinced me to come,” Cas answered, his eyes never quite meeting Dean’s.

“Meg? She- Is she your girlfriend?” Dean looked hurt, but Cas couldn’t help but laugh.

“God, no. She’s my neighbour,” he chuckled.

“Oh, sorry,” Dean mumbled.

It was a lot quieter outside, but even with the background noise - wispy notes of music and the occasional growl of a car’s engine in the distance - their silence seemed deafening. Neither of them was quite sure what to say, and even though Cas knew that it was him who owed Dean the explanation, he did not have the energy to explain himself. In all the twenty two years in which he had understood his sexuality, he had never once been able to describe his experience succinctly, or even in a way that wasn’t babbling nonsense.

Of course the taxi was taking its sweet time to show up.

“I’m sorry,” Cas blurted out, at the same time Dean stammered, “why did you leave?”

They are silent for another moment. “It’s hard to explain,” Cas hesitated.

“Well, I’d kinda like to know,” Dean snapped, wincing as the words came out of his mouth. “Sorry, ignore me. I’m being a dick. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want-”

“I’m asexual,” Cas declared abruptly, cutting Dean off.

Dean opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds, trying to process this. Cas knew, he just knew from the look on his face that this conversation was going to be as horrific as it is every. Single. Time.

“I’ve not heard of that before,” Dean eventually stated.

Cas sighed. He liked Dean, he genuinely did, but it was usually The Talk that scared people off. “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone.”

“Oh,” Dean mumbles, sounding disappointed. “So, the other night…?”

“Romantic and sexual attraction are two different things. I enjoyed our date, but I… panicked, at the end. People tend to, uh… expect things, and I didn’t want to lead you on. Sorry, again. I should have handled it better.”

“S’okay. So you don’t have sex at all?” Dean asked, deadpan. Suddenly, he realised what he said, and he clapped his hands over his mouth. “I am so sorry. That is such a weird question. Don’t answer that.”

Cas huffed out a laugh, watching his breath disappear into the night. Looking up, he watched as the stars winked at him against the inky backdrop, and he took a deep breath. “Would you like to go on another date?”

Cas finally allowed himself to look at Dean, and he was greeted with a warm, sincere smile. “I would love that.”

The moment was broken when Cas’ phone rang, and he fumbled to pick it up with his frozen fingers. “Claire! Sorry I’m late, I’m on my- what’s wrong? Claire, slow down. The hospital? Shit, I’m on my way.”

Cas glanced up at Dean, barely registering his concern, only managing to choke out, “Jack is in the hospital.”

{o0o}

Dean didn’t even hesitate. There was no way in Hell he was gonna let Cas wait for a cab when his son was hurt, and he was bundling the distressed man towards his car before he could even protest. “Which hospital?”

Cas stood by the passenger door completely rigid, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Dean, what are you doing?”

Dean looked at him incredulously, one eyebrow raised. “Giving you a lift, dumbass. Baby is way faster than any taxi.”

“Baby?” Cas asked, but he got in the car anyway.

Luckily, the Roadhouse was only a twenty minute drive away (if you went by the speed limit, and Dean most certainly did not) but even that seemed like an age when he was trying to simultaneously not crash the car and comfort the man in the passenger seat. Dean didn’t have any kids of his own, but he could imagine that this was the worst possible thing that could happen to Cas; to have your own child in danger and not being able to be with them must be torture.

Cas was opening the car door before they had even come to a full stop, and by the time Dean had parked, he was already inside. By the time Dean caught up, he was already deep in conversation with Jody’s daughter, who was distraught. It was almost scary; Dean remembered her as the girl who had thrown a full grown man out of a second story window because he groped her, and every interaction he had ever had with her had made her seem like a badass.

“What’s going on?” he asked, gently shepherding them towards a seat in the waiting room.

Cas wasn’t listening. He had already stormed off and was in a heated discussion with the receptionist, who kept shaking her head more and more forcefully.

“A dog attacked him,” Claire hiccuped. “Just came out of nowhere and started tearing at him.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Dean assured her, bringing in a hug. He didn’t even care that she was probably getting snot all over his favourite jacket.

Cas stormed back over, looking like he was ready to level a city. “They won’t let me see him until they’ve operated.”

“Shit,” Dean replied, a plan forming. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. Claire, you go outside and call Jody and ask her to pick you up, ‘kay? I’m gonna call someone at the Roadhouse to bring some supplies so we can camp here overnight if we need to… Cas, do you have a spare key or something? I can get someone to pick up some stuff from your house that you might need?”

“Meg has a key,” he sniffled.

Fifteen minutes later, everything is as sorted out as it can be. Bobby - the only person left who is safe to drive - was giving Meg a lift to Cas’ place to pick up their things and to bring some food, and Jody was there to pick up Claire.

“It’s not your fault, kiddo. Go home and get some rest, we’ll keep you updated,” Dean reassured her.

An hour later, the doctors agreed to let Cas in to see Jack, assuring them that he will be absolutely fine. When Cas finally untangled himself from Dean’s side, he seemed reluctant to leave him, but Dean just smiled gently at him and squeezed his hand. “I’ll wait right here,”

In the end, Jack gets discharged the very same night, coincidentally right as Bobby and apparently an entire ensemble from the Roadhouse show up. Jo is there with enough leftovers to feed an army, and Charlie and Meg had enough blankets and bags of clothes with them that Dean winced when he spared a thought for the state Cas’ house was going to be in.

It was a little awkward when Cas walked out of the hospital with a sleeping Jack in his arms, bundled in one of the many blankets, but Bobby just huffed and offered to give them a lift back home. Charlie clambered into the Impala without a second word - it would not be the first time she had slept over at Dean’s while drunk - leaving Dean to say goodbye.

“Night, Cas. And Merry Christmas,” he said, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas replied, and they both knew he wasn’t talking about the holiday wishes.

{o0o}

The next time they actually managed to see each other was New Year’s Eve. Dean had shown up on Cas’ doorstep with chocolate, an armful of fireworks, and his usual lopsided smile. Obviously, he was not going to be refused.

They set the fireworks off as soon as it went dark, Cas holding Jack a safe distance away while Dean lit them, his silhouette dancing in the darkness of the garden. The bangs elicited excited squeaks from Jack, his eyes open wide in awe. He had never seen fireworks up close before.

After Jack had been tucked into sleep, Cas returned downstairs to find Dean lounging on the porch, two glasses of champagne poured. They sat outside for hours, watching the explosions of colour mix with the stars until it was impossible to tell them apart.

Cas couldn’t help but think that Dean was beautiful in this light; mellow and golden, his eyes sparkling underneath a halo of sparks.

Before long, it was a minute to midnight. “I… can I kiss you again?” Dean mumbled, his eyes flicking over to Cas nervously.

He smiled reassuringly. “I think I would like that.”

“Oh, uh, awesome.” It was hard to tell, but he was sure that Dean was blushing furiously. “I just wasn’t sure if you were, like, aromantic or something.”

Cas’ eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You know what that is?”

“I googled it all after you told me. Figured I should probably learn all the terms, y’know?”

All of a sudden, Castiel realised that he might be falling in love. No one had ever bothered doing anything like that for him before.

A chant started up in the distance, a thousand voices all counting down at the same time.

Ten

Nine

Eight

Dean gently cupped the back of Cas’ neck, pulling him closer until he could feel the warmth of his face.

Seven

Six

Five

Cas smiled up at him, lost in the forests that he called eyes.

Four

Three

Two

“Happy New Year, Cas,” Dean whispered, and their lips collided, better than any firework.

#i hope you enjoy #destiel #my writing #fanfic #destiel secret santa #christmas

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alittleoptimistic · 5 years

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Favorite Character Tropes as Wish Fulfillment?

I wrote that title after I analyzed this stuff because I realized a thing about myself I was unaware of. I always get attached to the Same Character. Like, they are literally the same person in different stories. And I want to know why. So I did a little digging and thinking and all that good, good stuff.

Here are a few examples of my typical favorite character

Charlie from Lost

Virgil from Sanders Sides

Philip from Travelers

the Doctor from Doctor Who (specifically 10)

Klaus from Umbrella Academy

Stiles from Teen Wolf

Riley from Sense 8

Cisco from Flash

Peter Pan from any version of this story

Jim from the Office

Peter from Heroes

Merlin from Merlin

Will from Hannibal

Felix from Orphan Black

Chuck from Chuck

Josh (the werewolf ) from Being Human

Jessica from Jessica Jones

Castiel from Supernatural

Loki from Marvel

Skylar from Heroes

Sherlock from Sherlock

Zuko from The Last Airbender

Killian from Once Upon a Time

I could probably find more but you get the idea

General similarities seem to be:

out of 23

21 are male?

15 have some type of addiction/problem they have difficulty controlling? (drugs, attention, adventure, eating people, killing people, ya know, etc)

17 have a secret

‘neuro-divergent’ in some way? (ADD, PTSD anxiety, depression, something? the kids are not alright)

All 23 have grey morals (probably chaotic good-ish? they all would break the rules for a good reason or get what they want)

19 have a crappy homelife/large tragedy in the past

20 have ‘superpowers/special ability’

18 are physically weak in appearance

18 are Underdogs, underestimated but actually powerful/very intelligent?

7 have a redemption arch

17 have dark hair lol

18 have a sarcastic, sense of humor

14 talk too much

mostly white in one form or another :/

So... why?? Why do I tend to like these characters more than others?

male. I am female and there are a few female characters that I LOVE. They happen, but, in all honesty, they are far and few in between. Wonder Woman, Jessica Jones, Hermione, Rey, Riley, Rory (Gilmore girls) Perhaps it is the way girls are often written? I like Jessica Jones because she is a hilarious mess and I relate. Same with... all of the ones I like, actually. They have that grey-moral vibe of real people, but lack the sexy Cat Woman, I’m-so-bad-I-can-kill-you-with-my-massive-butt-and-boobs?? Thing?? yeah? how unfortunate. They are small breasted or, at least, that is not drawn attention to too much. Could it be. holy moly, ya’ll. could it be I like women characters when they’re written... like people? like. like, as if girls are screwed up humans! not objects?? isn’t that incredible.

srry but not srry

an addiction. now, why do I tend to go here? Its a kind of a painful trope. They always go back, and back and back again to what we know is horrible for them. Perhaps there is enjoyment in watching the struggle and seeing them inevitably win their struggle, whatever it is? The strength to conquer the darkness within themselves and do the right thing. It might just make you think you can conquer your own battles?? Maybe I feel like I can relate in some sort of way, going back to old habits, struggling to be the person I want to be. Year after year of the same new year goals...

a secret. This is honestly just a nice trope and its neat, fun writing. Creates tension, and it is usually connected to the addiction. You get invested in this secret!!! It builds up to the inevitable discovery of that secret and the aftermath and all the reactions of their friends. (merlin, Will graham, chuck, etc.)

Neurodivergent. I think this is just me relating to these people. I have bouts of depression and anxiety and am currently researching the possibility of having ADD (thats a whole new weird thing idek) so this is just something that I think I see in myself.

Grey-morals. Again. This is my moral alignment, shocker. So, again, me relating to the characters. Also, characters that obviously have flaws are just well-written, well-rounded characters? No one is actually Clark Kent. characters that seem perfect either come off as plastic and fake because real people do not act like that, or they come off as kind of creepy?? because they must have some darkness lurking beneath the surface (when this is done on purpose, i actually like this quite a lot. Rose Quartz is an example of a character who seemed perfect on the surface, but as the show moved on, is revealed to be a Real Disaster Queen. she isn’t evil, just kind of a brat, but that redeemed what seemed to be sloppy storytelling because it was realistic)

Tragic past. This is just something that authors give to Disaster People to justify their screwed-up-ness. Course, not all of them had tragic pasts, but something bad happened to all of them (except Jim from the Office I think??, but then again, that is a sitcom...)

Special Ability Again, wish fulfillment. Not even gonna lie. I often feel powerless and out of control, this Freaks Me Out. I think there is comfort in seeing the ‘little guy’ (aka le me) having with a BAMF hashtag

Weak And once more on Relatable-Station. This is in connection with relating to feeling and looking powerless, but finding comfort in the secret strength these characters have whether through supernatural means, superior intelligence, biting humor, a quick tongue, etc.

Underestimated the cap on this trio. The last 3 points could be summed up as one thing. A weak, underestimated person actually has some secret strength. These characters might just be a coping mechanism I have to deal with feeling weak and overlooked and powerless, whether or not those feelings accurately portray reality. I wonder where those feelings came from in the first place.

A redemption arch This trope is often a result of having grey morals. These also help deal with feelings of inadequacy or guilt in the reader?? It makes you think, if they can be loved, surely I can. (i am really dragging myself in this post, which was not the plan lol but here we are)

Dark hair/brown hair. I have dark hair, I also wanted black hair as a child and found it very beautiful. Also, I think the dark hair goes with the personality trope as a Screw Up. Not gonna lie, messy brown/black hair on boys and girls, honestly, but the short messy thing, is great. and when they go evil for a bit and the hair gets Extra Messy?? That. That’s. Good. (for reference see: Stiles, Killian, Peter, Virgil, Loki)

Sarcastic my flavor of humor. this is turning into the realization that we do, in fact, like characters we relate to the most. I thought that might be far fetched because I’m ‘nothing like’ these characters, but let's get real. They’re me but as a cute boy or girl.

Talk too much This isn’t me. but This is who I want to be, I think. I’ve always struggled with anxiety about being the quiet one while my brother was so much better at talking, making friends, etc. so this is, again, wish fulfillment. i swear i didn’t think this was going to be this self-indulgent but i obviously was wrong

White They aren’t all white. Zuko is Asian. Cisco’s actor is Columbian American. But that’s... thats a really small amount of diversity. Like, I’m concerned. (when i say white btw, I don’t mean just American or British or whatever, because there are characters on here that are from all over. I just mean overall white-looking for the sake of this analysis)

So, First Hypothesis: prejudice is very ingrained and even with good intentions, i could be subconsciously avoiding characters that are POC??? If this is all a ‘projecting myself’ thing, then I relate to white people the most? Im sure im screwing this up, but i’m not gonna chicken out and avoid this because thats what I’d usually do to keep from dumbly saying something offensive, but if I dont address a problem, then no one is getting anywhere

Second Hypothesis: Its been known the fiction industry as a whole has a problem with representation,,, I don’t want to discount me being white, but I don’t think this is just me and my tiny entitled butt. There probably isn’t as much access to that type of character for POC. How often do creators have well-rounded, stick-around-for-a-long-time, flawed, funny, sometimes-problematic-but-well-meaning characters that are also POC? not often enough. Maybe it’s not always on purpose. But because of ‘Diversity Points’, character development might get pushed aside, and then the character’s personality becomes Their Race, which is... a crappy way to build a character? The industry has a hard enough time with diversity in general. Maybe people just don't write POC as that type of character. Which makes characters like Cisco unique. I’ve never even thought about that... Good on you, Flash writer crew.

let's fix this??

need more Ciscos???

if any POC feels inclined to call me out on my bull or give their insight (only if you want to, of course), pls do.

In conclusion: this was interesting, and it makes sense, I guess, why people like different types of characters if their favorite characters are projections in one way or another of them. I’m not saying that we all relate to our favorite characters, but me, because I have this weird, dozen or more of the same type of character that I love, it might be reasonable to assume there’s something about that character I see in myself or wish I saw in myself? Anyway, an interesting thought. What do you guys think? Do you see yourself in your favorite characters?

This has been an honest essay that got too long. I wish I was as invested in writing school essays as I am in Tumblr posts.

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saywhatjessie · 5 years

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SPNMBB 2019: “Bold Defiance” by JessJessthebest, art by deli (deliciousirony)

You, Bold Defiance?” Dean rolled his eyes. “You are so predictable.”

Castiel had been operating as ‘Bold Defiance,’ evil super-villain, for most of his life. It was the same thing, day after day: scheming, magicking, and getting inevitably foiled by The Guardian: the city’s acting superhero and Castiel’s childhood rival, Anna. It was a comfortable if not altogether productive routine. The periodic kidnapping of journalist, Dean Winchester, didn’t hurt. But what happens when one side actually wins? What does a person do when the person who opposed them, the person who defined them, is gone?

Castiel’s prison cell wasn’t very interesting.

He guessed it was more interesting than the usual cement cell. His, at least, had children’s paintings on the wall and a large comfortable chair.

But when you spent most of your life in a small room with very little enrichment, it didn’t matter how pretty the pictures on the wall were. It was boring. So boring it became exhausting just to be there.

Castiel wasn’t going to be there much longer. His latest escape plan was already underway. But still, sitting in that chair, looking at the television with the news of The Guardian’s latest victory was sucking the life right out of him. He sat on the floor against the wall, just for a change of pace.

He wasn’t expecting his cell door to bang open, the warden bolting in, but he wasn’t altogether surprised either.

“Where’s the fire, Warden?” he asked her, mouth quirked in amusement.

Her eyes landed on him, her face souring even while her shoulders slumped in relief. “You shouldn’t be out of the eyes of the guards, inmate.”

Castiel scoffed. “You’re no fun.”

The warden sighed, coming into the room to stand in front of him, her arms crossed.

Castiel remembered when she’d first been appointed warden. He’d been here longer than almost everyone else in the prison, landing here when he was only a toddler. One might question why anyone would allow a child to live at a prison, even if that’s where his escape pod happened to land. Castiel had never questioned this, as he’d never known anything else, but he’d met some other inmates who seemed horrified at this information.

Castiel guessed they might have kept him here because they had no idea what else to do with him. Where the hell do you put a toddler who landed on earth with a pair of huge black wings?

“I’ve got a present for you from The Guardian,” the warden said, shaking the small box in her hand. She opened it in front of him, pulling out a watch that had been nestled inside. She read the tag that hung off the end. “‘To count every second of your 85 Iife sentences.’ Hmm.” The warden’s face creased in disapproval. “Didn’t think she was much for gloating.”

“How rude that Guardian is,” Castiel commented, idly. His wings traced circles in the dust on the floor. “I don’t even want that gift. You should keep it, Warden.”

The warden went from examining the watch to eying him suspiciously.

Castiel shrugged, his wings slumping in his evident boredom. “I don’t need a watch to keep track of how long I’m in here. It takes away from my constant dissociation.” He leaned his head against the wall, looking pitifully at the tv screen mounted at the top of his cell. “It’s only the thought of this Guardian Day ceremony that’s even getting me through.”

The warden hummed, still suspicious, but she put on the watch. “I can’t help but feel like you’re taking everything about this far too well. You’re up to something.”

Castiel slumped farther against the wall, making himself into the absolute picture of pathetic boredom. “Come on, Jody. You know me! Would I ever be up to something?”

The warden snorted before schooling her expression. “That’s Warden to you, inmate.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah yeah, and I’m ‘Bold Defiance’.” Castiel actually did the air quotes to express to the warden the depth of his contempt. When he looked up at her, only half of the imploring innocence in his eyes was feigned. “But remember when we weren’t?”

Jody shook her head, her eyes sad. “You can’t be both Bold Defiance and Castiel at the same time. You have to choose which one you want to be.” She held up her wrist. “Thanks for the watch.”

He watched her leave his cell, the door slamming behind her, feeling more than a little bit guilty over her part in his escape plan.

She had more faith in him to be a good guy than anyone else ever had.

He hated disappointing her.

But a villain’s gotta villain.

It all started when Castiel was born.

Well, not really. He had a good couple solar cycles with his parents on his home planet. He’d learned to walk and talk and fly from the comfort of Garrison 401. The details of that time for Castiel were hazy: the only kind of memory coming through a warm fuzziness that hit him square between his wings.

Of course, then the collapse happened. Castiel was far too young to understand at the time, but his planet and, in fact, every planet in their solar system was being sucked into a black hole. Nothing was explained to him. He was just wrapped in his wings, given an egg, and dropped into an escape pod that went careening through the cosmos only to land on his new home planet of earth.

Of course, he wasn’t alone. Other children from other planets were saved and sent away. Why, the planet right next door to Garrison 401 had a representative on earth, same as Castiel. In the very same country. In the very same city .

It was difficult for Castiel not to resent Anna: prodigy of IKWYDLS 49. They were refugees of the same disaster. They were a similar age, size, allienness. Sure, Anna didn’t have wings, but she could still fly. And yet, everyone loved her. They loved her and they hated Castiel.

Part of that could be due to the fact that Castiel had grown up in a prison and, by chance or fate or whatever machinations worked to make Castiel’s life the way it was, Anna had landed on the property of one of the richest families in the country. She was well cared for – adored. Castiel was tolerated.

Castiel did have some things Anna did not, however. For one: he had his intellect. Anna had super strength and laser vision and speed and accelerated healing but she didn’t have the strategic mind of a Garrisonian.

Nor did she have Jack, the former egg that Castiel had been given upon his evacuation. Everyone on Castiel’s planet was given a fledgeling companion to help take care of them as they developed. A “minion” in villain terms. Castiel disliked referring to Jack as his minion – regardless that he performed all of the duties of a minion, it seemed kinder to call him a companion. He was a Garrisonian, same as Castiel, but without wings and with the power to heal. They were the nursemaids of the planet. Castiel was forever grateful for him.

Although, having a smaller person follow him around everywhere – even when, as a gesture of good will, he was released from the prison and sent to school – wasn’t a super great way to make friends. It just helped to further isolate him.

Not that he could ever begrudge Jack for that. Even if Jack hadn’t been able to heal him, he would treasure him for his companionship.

Castiel was bullied, to say the least. But Castiel had massive and powerful wings. And Castiel had magic, as undeveloped as it was. And Castiel had a small companion that would literally die for him.

So Castiel defended himself. And that made him the bad guy.

And Anna fought back. Which made her the good guy.

She was The Guardian.

So, Castiel, sick of being judged and scorned and pushed around became Bold Defiance.

And so the city had their narrative.

“You can scream all you want, Winchester,” Castiel said, stroking one of his many crows. “I'm afraid no one can hear you.”

“Not screaming.”

“You might be thinking: Defiance! How did you escape from your inescapable prison cell?”

“I’m really not.”

“Well, it just took some brain power. Some deception. Some cunning.”

“Five bucks says you just used one of your magic watches.”

Castiel’s wings flicked in irritation – enough to startle his crow and make her fly away.

He had used a magic watch. The watch he’d given Jody had a cloaking spell on it, making her temporarily look like him. When all the guards had tried to capture her and put her back in Castiel’s cell, he took the watch and cloaked himself as her. Then he’d simply walked out.

But he couldn’t let Dean know that.

“How do you do that, anyway? Doesn’t magic not work in contact with metal?”

“They’re plastic watches,” Castiel answered automatically. Dean smirked. Castiel scowled. “And anyway, it wasn’t a watch. I mean the magic was– it was very impressive and–”

“You can’t lie to me, man, your wings give you away.”

Castiel scowled harder, concentrating on keeping his wings still. Dean’s eyes danced. “You only think you know me.”

Dean snorted, absolutely no stress in his posture. He was tied to a chair, hands behind his back and legs strapped to the floor. He was surrounded by sigils and creepy things floating in jars and unnaturally attentive wildlife all focused on him. Cats and dogs and crows and foxes and squirrels and ravens and several species of insect all watching him like, at one word from Castiel, they’d ruin Dean’s day. And there was absolutely no fear in the green of Dean’s eyes.

“You, Bold Defiance?” Dean rolled his eyes. “You are so predictable.”

Castiel didn’t like the way Dean said his name. It wasn’t quite like Dean was mocking him – knowing he went by an invented name and speaking as if just saying the name was humoring him. He kind of said it like how Jody said it. Like he wanted to call Castiel something else.

Castiel folded his arms, narrowing his eyes at Dean. “I’m not sure how you can claim to find me predictable when I’ve managed to ambush you dozens of times. If I’m so predictable, couldn’t you avoid getting abducted?”

Dean shrugged, his shirt pulling tight across his chest as he pulled on his restraints behind his back. “I probably could. I never really tried.”

“You never–”

“Boss!”

Castiel whipped toward Jack where he was standing in the corner, worrying at the string on his scrubs pants. He gestured to the giant countdown clock.

The ceremony was about to begin. It was time to call The Guardian.

Read the rest on Ao3

#Bold Defiance #SPNMBB #Oops I wrote a thing #Jessie writes Destiel fic

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winchester-cas · 6 years

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Tagged

Rules: Repost and answer the 20 questions and tag 20 people you want to get to know better.

Tagged by: @nowaitwhatwhyfuck thanks for the tag Sammy!! I was also tagged in similar tag game by @fandom-is-my-middle-name (thanks love ❤️)

Height: 5’2” -.-

Orientation: Bisexual af ^^

Favourite Fruit: Apples!! And pineapples!!

Favourite Season: Winter! Sex is great and all (which I actually wouldn’t know cause I’m virgin af) but have you ever wrapped yourself in a blankie and drowned yourself in a book/movie/tv show??

Favourite Flower: Call me cliché, but I’m a sucker for roses. I love sunflowers too!

Favourite Scent: The smell of the earth after rain. The faint parchment scent from books. Anand the smell of petrol :)

Favourite Colour: I love dark colours like black and grey! And I love purple too. And also blue (shade of Cas’ eyes)

Favourite Animal: Dogs and cats! And also hamsters! And pandas ^^

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: I love both tea and hot chocolate and you can’t make me just choose one

Average Hours of Sleep: Four to five hours on a good day :)

Cat or Dog Person: BOTH

Favourite Fictional Character: I have so fucking many but if I had to choose one, it’s Castiel for obvious reasons ❤️

Number of Blankets You Sleep With: One very comfy Winnie the Pooh blankie :D

Dream Trip: I don’t really have a single destination I mind but I do wanna travel the world

Blog Created: Two years back I think?? But I started posting actively a year ago

Number of Followers: 6906 (I’m hella grateful and I love you guys so much) ❤️❤️

Number of Blogs You Follow: 522

Random Fact: I don’t really like pizza all that much I mean I don’t hate it, but I just don’t... love it *waits for the inevitable death threats*

Tagging: @jeruselem @winter-tundra @enchantingchaos1462 @suckerfordeansfreckles @helianthus21 @bend-me-shape-me @kerrets69 (tagging you again cause why not) - no obligations of course!

#tagged #get to know me #(not fandom)

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candymayvary · 6 years

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I'm not sure if you did this or anyone else did, but do you know what happens or what is said if you choose to say that you didn't have a boyfriend or choose "no one" when asked about your love interest from high school?

I wouldn’t have a clue, because I chose Castiel as my previous love interest. I haven’t seen anyone choose ‘no one’ either, because unfortunately the beta doesn’t allow you to go back and replay episode 0.

I don’t know whether that’s going to be a consistent thing, either, that once you’ve made your choice, that’s it. Also because projected outcomes of the relationships isn’t really available as the beta isn’t even the finished episode (and with what people were talking about, in regards to Nathaniel, it’s probably leading up to meet him which would be... interesting, if you chose him as the high school romance).

I’m assuming it means you skip out on the waify dialogue about how distance broke them apart, and the way Candy just seems to forget the last decade conveniently.

In the future of MCUL, it would probably also reduce a few conversations, as you wouldn’t be talking to Priya like “haha guess what? I know I was with [insert romance here] and you saw all of that, but I was hot for you all along” and also probably skips out on a big chunk of stuff with Castiel like “I know we broke up because I never believed you’d get that far, but the Avril Lavigne look is coming back, and I want you to be my sk8er boi”. And also probably the inevitable “oh my ex is Nathaniel? You know, the local frat boy? Yep, that’s the one” with Rayan or Hyun and whoever the 5th may end up being. Or, “hey Castiel, I know you threatened to kick Nathaniel’s ass if he ever broke my heart, and you also probably don’t want to date his ex, but can you give me a chance? Also I prefer cats.”

So, I have no idea at this point. Some people are going to try to pick ‘no one’ on their other accounts during the beta, but I haven’t seen anything reported as of yet. Probably because everyone wanted to know what the dialogue would’ve been if you did date someone.

#*replies #my candy love #sry but castiel is a sk8er boi #i rly dont like his new design #and i will make fun of it at every chance i get #Anonymous

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fanfic-scribbles · 6 years

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32. All Saints Day

A/N: Ho. Ly. Cats. I can’t believe we actually made it to the end. And with so many people digging it! Because my browser and Tumblr aren’t playing nice right now I want to say thanks to everyone who commented, messaged, reblogged and liked my little ficlet drabbles and chapters for this story. I decided to put this self-challenge on Tumblr on a whim, on the off-chance other people might get a kick out of it and so many more of you like this than I expected, oh wow. So, other ficlets and such will be posted on here (after, like, at least a week of vacation) but this little story-that-wasn’t-and-then-suddenly-was is at its end. I hope you enjoy this super lovey dovey conclusion.

Words: 1889

Warnings: Hop-scotching the prompt for word-and-feeling-association. Fluff. Romance. Totally not sorry; we earned this one.

There’s an abandoned church in the woods maybe a mile or two from the bunker. It’s near an old dirt road that you’ve never seen anybody use. In fact it was probably only ever used to get to Sunday service. The church itself is very traditional: white, has a steeple, and is utterly tiny, maybe able to seat twenty people and it’d probably be filled to standing capacity with fifty. Stained glass windows line either side of the building, letting in very little actual light, but they’re still somehow intact while half the pews are broken.

It’s old and drafty and so peaceful that it’s become one of your favorite places in the whole world. Sometimes you like to imagine how it used to be, with people dressed in their Sunday finery, either fanning themselves from the heat or bundling up to brace the cold, but always here every week, in a tiny little chapel off the beaten path that was probably packed to the gills. It is decidedly quieter in real life than in your imagination, and that’s the way you like it. This is yours, now, and in this place there is still something hopeful; holy and idealistic. You don’t have to be psychic to feel it. You take a deep breath and continue your silent vigil, thinking about nothing in the way only utter silence can help you achieve.

Wings rustle and you stiffen, losing a bit of the calm that being here has instilled in you. However you’ve been here long enough that any tears have dried and you have some semblance of control. But then your name is murmured in that same deep voice that still somehow makes your knees weak.

You clear your throat. “Hi Cas,” you say, trying to be fair and friendly. You knew going in that Cas might not feel the same and you're not going to let your feelings fuck up a perfectly good friendship. Sure, it’ll sting for a little while, but you have faith in your abilities to move on. You love Cas and want him to be happy. And Cas is generally reasonable and blun– er, up front. He will tell you he does not return the depth of your feelings (or that he may be open to finding out, though you don’t hold much hope for that) and you will both, eventually, get back to normal.

Though…given how emotional he became last night…

You sigh and slump. Who are you kidding. This is going to suck.

“May I sit here?” Cas asks, standing next to you. The stained glass window behind him casts a yellow pall that looks sickly on everything except for him.

“Of course.” You sound normal. Score one for this going in a good direction.

Cas sits next to you, not close enough to touch but close enough to still be in your space. You try not to overanalyze but you know how you feel, and he knows, and you’re not sure how to act. You shift in your seat. If Gabriel asks one more time if he can do anything, you’re going to have him take you back to October 1st so you can punch yourself in the head.

“This place is wonderful,” Cas murmurs and looks around with wide, admiring eyes. You suddenly forget why you’re upset when you see the beginning of a smile on his face.

“It’s pretty peaceful,” you agree.

You both lapse into silence. You’re staring ahead again, very studiously trying not to seem bothered by anything, and Cas seems…content. For the most part. After a few minutes he seems to remember why he’s here and he sighs. “I often wonder how you, and Sam, and Dean, manage it.”

You wait. Nothing. “Manage…what?”

“Living a life filled with endless decisions. Where you must somehow make choices and live without regret.” Cas is staring up at the ceiling, his eyes pinched back at the corners in a sort of sadness. “I have had so few decisions to make by comparisons and yet…I have so many regrets.”

You snort. What group of perfect (or sociopathic) humans has Cas been hanging out with? “That’s just life, Cas,” you say softly, trying to lessen any perceived insensitivity. “Everybody makes bad decisions along the way. Good, bad, and in between. The bad ones just stick out more.”

“Doesn’t it frighten you?” Cas looks at you and you freeze, caught in a bright blue that the sky must envy. “Having a decision to make and not knowing which choice you might regret?”

“I guess it…depends on the choice and the consequences.” You clear your throat. “You never know how something is going to turn out. You weigh your options and you make the best decision you can.”

“Like your choice to tell me how you feel.”

Your throat closes up. “Yeah,” you say and try to keep your mind blank for the inevitable next part. He studies you for several long seconds. His lips turn up in a small smile. A kindly gesture to ease the pain, you think.

But then he moves forward, connecting his mouth with yours, and you don’t have to try to keep your mind blank– you short circuit and all you know, have known, will ever know, is this. Your lips are almost chronically dry these days from the oncoming winter and you're sure Cas wouldn’t know what Chapstick was even if he carried five pounds worth of it in his pockets. Somehow his lips are still the softest things you can ever remember feeling.

Your eyes burn from the air and you have to consciously force yourself to blink. In the split second it takes to shut and open your eyes he doesn’t disappear. He does, however, pull back, and you barely suppress what surely would have been the most pathetic whimper ever released by a human.

“I know I likely do not deserve it, but will you let me explain myself?” Cas asks.

“Uh huh.” He could tell you to take a hike to Canada and you’d be walking before he finished his sentence.

That silly thought leads to the serious realization that he’s not telling you to hit the road, Jack. You blink some life back into yourself, sit up straighter, and somehow manage to tear your eyes from his lips (seriously, way softer than they look,) to his eyes.

He turns his body to angle towards you and you do the same, brushing your knees against his and waiting. Cas takes a moment.

“I have great regrets. I have done terrible things,” he says slowly. “Made bad choices and been led to do things I cannot undo.”

His eyes drift down in memory and you bite your lip to keep from interrupting. However you do slide your hand to his knee as a light reminder that you’re here for him. He responds by taking that hand in both of his, holding it, squeezing lightly. He looks at you again. “Sometimes I’m paralyzed by fear. I wonder if everything I see and think is a manipulation by Naomi or her underlings. Or I think that there is some dire consequence to what I am doing. So I busy myself by running errands for Gabriel, or helping you and the Winchesters. I focus on the things that help and do not hurt, but even then I…make mistakes.”

He grips your hand but his gaze is too intense to look away from. “This is not the first time I’ve thought of the idea. Of being with you. Some months ago I realized that what I was feeling for you might be…could one day be…” He swallows. “It was a sudden realization that I knew had been building over the years. It felt natural. Inevitable. Terrifying.” He looks at the pew in front of you. “Like I was falling all over again and I didn’t know what it meant.”

You don’t dare breathe.

“I couldn’t possibly choose that; choose to drag you down with me, so I assumed it was fate, or something else. I even made…surreptitious inquiries into the possible involvement of cupids.”

Oh no. You use your free hand to cover a small smile. You remember Lt. Castiel Columbo. ‘Surreptitious’ is not a part of his normal vocabulary.

“The cupid I spoke to was emphatic against their involvement and even advised me against taking any further involvement with you. At the time, I agreed. And so I tried to remain distant.”

Suddenly you really, really want to stab a cupid. Or pick up a bow and arrow and turn the tables.

“It didn’t work.” He shakes his head. “I can’t stay away from you, or Dean, or Sam. So it festered. It became something awful, until that night with Crowley– and I snapped. I just…I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether to be selfish, to claim you for my own and keep you from any semblance of normalcy you can grasp in your violent life. Or whether to…let you go. I thought on that so much last night. I agonized over what I should do.”

Your throat is filling with a lump of tears. “I know it would be nice but you can’t have everything, Cas,” you say and swallow. “You can’t have an honest choice but account for every possible variable. You can’t control it.” You put your other hand on top of his and grip both hands for dear life. “But sometimes, the things you don’t see coming, the things you can’t control…maybe sometimes they aren’t great. But sometimes they’re wonderful.”

“Like you.”

You blink several times to clear the water welling in your eyes. “Huh?”

Cas looks so soft as he takes his hands to brush away the tears escaping onto your cheeks. “You are the most wonderful thing I never saw coming. You are stubborn, sometimes petulant, fierce, strong, kind, protective, and so, so blindingly beautiful that your soul shines like a beacon. I care for you so much that I thought I could deny myself your presence because I hurt you, got you hurt, only to find out that I can’t. I can’t be away from you. I don’t ever want to be away from you.”

You don’t know what to say. Or maybe you have too many things to say. Either way it’s hard to breathe. When he lifts your hand to his mouth to press a kiss, for a moment you do forget how to breathe. You hold his face with that hand and he holds it there. Like you’d ever remove it.

“Of all the painful things that can come of this, not having you would be so much worse,” he murmurs into your palm. “If you’ll have me I want –Father, I want– to be with you, in any and all ways that you may want me.”

You take a few moments to breathe. You're tempted to take a few more, because he kind of deserves that after last night, but you honestly can’t stay away for long. You surge forward, wrapping your arms behind his neck, and you never, never want to take them back. He meets your kiss, just as open and longing, and his arms around your back hold you tight, just as unwilling to ever, ever let you go.

#cas x reader #castiel x reader #cas x you #castiel x you #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic #october challenge #all saints day #romance #fluff

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xfanfics · 4 years

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Destiel Fic Rec List Part 6

Last Updated in October 2014. Posted in May 2020 for posterity. Listed in no particular order - the total rec list will have ~250 fics. Header graphic used with permission.

This part of the list contains: 38 fics.

Other Destiel Rec Lists: [1]. [2]. [3]. [4]. [5]. [6]. [7].

Hunting for Faith ❤ by riseofthefallenone E | 270k | AU, reverse!verse, priest cas, angel dean

It starts a few days earlier. Castiel first notices it in the middle of the night when the dreams of fire and screams have kept him awake. He’s kneeling before the altar, praying, when the glass in the windows start to shake, the very air vibrating around him. Castiel is on his feet and reaching for the gun tucked into the back of his pants as the shutters over the windows start to rattle.

Angel!dean will always have a special place in my heart, and as always, I love riseofthefallenone's characterization and writing. Complete with lovely art by pappcave.

Sporty High School AU by triedunture E | 18k | Hot, Fluff, High School AU

Cas is on the high school swim team and Dean Winchester is the super-attractive, too-cool-for-him lacrosse player. They're both practicing late one cold autumn night, and Dean succumbs to exhaustion. It's up to Cas to help him.

Real Slick Dean by trilliath E | 28k | Hot, AU, a/b/o, fuck or die

There's a new alpha enhancer drug "Rutter" on the streets that gets used at "exclusive parties" for the worst purposes. Detective Castiel Novak and his partner Balthazar work hard to put a stop to it and other sex crimes in their work as Special Victim's top detectives. Ellen Harvelle's Roadhouse is both a bar and a refuge for unmated Omegas. The Roadhouse gives Omegas the opportunity have their heats in peace and, if they so desire, even sell an 'exclusive supply of high-grade slick for the unmated Alpha on the go!'. Castiel is just such an Alpha, career oriented and having no time for casual sex or potential mates. He's a regular customer who only buys donor D347's slick. He's also a family friend and advocate who helps Omegas in need get connected with Ellen. It's all fine until one night after a difficult bust he brings Ellen a new Omega about to have her first heat. What Alpha Castiel doesn't realize is that he's been over-dosed with Rutter during the fight and is about to go into a rut so bad he may die. And if that weren't enough to kill him, the embarrassment he's about to feel will, because he's about to meet donor D347 face to face and neither of them are prepared for what's going to happen.

friendzone by kaiifayce M | 7k

“A date?! Like, with a real, breathing human being?” Dean sputters as wipes his mouth with his sleeve. Cas frowns, eyebrows knitting and his head cocking to the side slightly in his typical manner. “No, Dean, with one of the dissection frogs in the Biology lab,” he deadpans.

The Sentinel Crossover 'Verse by melonbutterfly E | 13k | Hot, AU, Sentinel/Guide Bonding

Wherein Castiel is a Guide and Dean is a Sentinel.

Dean Doesn't Listen to Eurythmics by Scaramouche E | 2k | Canon!Verse, First Time

Dean and Castiel share a bed. It starts out platonic, and then becomes something else.

Stitches by askance T | 23k | post s7, h/c, Fluff,

Castiel survived Leviathan--but only barely. Vessel mauled and eyes destroyed, Cas is barely clinging to what's left of his grace when Dean finds him naked and alone on the reservoir's edge; in a panic, Dean brings him home to the cabin where he and Sam have been holed up off the grid. What follows is the slow process of the angel's recovery and the unexpected changes that come with his being blind, and in the three months this takes, their little family slowly begins to patch itself back together in forgiveness, love, and darkness.

The Feline Perspective of a Guilty Conscience by almaasi E | 51k | Fluff, Canon!verse, post s8, cat dean

A few days ago, the angels were cast out of Heaven. Castiel believes it’s all his fault, and now he’s almost out of power, too. But that’s unimportant - Sam is dying, and Dean needs Cas to fix him before it’s too late. Cas’ selfless last efforts to save Sam backfire in the most unexpected way: Dean transforms into a cat. It seems like he’ll be stuck like that, and all Castiel can do is blame himself. The days pass without any clues on how to fix their predicament, and when Sam starts getting sick again, with Dean out for the count, Castiel realises that he’s the only one who can save Sam.

Foxfire Blossom ❤ by almaasi E | 283k | AU, infidelity,Hot, Angst, Fluff,

On a narrow lane, right at the edge of San Francisco city, there is a boutique flower shop with a single employee named Dean. The place is Dean’s world; it’s tiny, filled with bright colour and sensational beauty, and it’s the only sanctuary he ever finds amidst the commotion of his new life. Then, there’s Castiel. From the first time he steps into the shop, Castiel can’t help but become deeply enchanted by what’s inside. However, it’s not just the flowers that keep him coming back - with each visit he makes, he grows fonder of the bespectacled florist, learning Dean’s hands and his laughter as Dean shows him how to romance a woman. There is nothing either of them can do to keep from falling in love, despite Castiel’s path already being paved, cemented, and thoroughly set in stone: he is supposed to marry Daphne. It becomes clear that they all have their vices, addictions. Castiel has kept things from Dean... and maybe Dean has a few secrets, too. What with all the lying, cheating, and dauntless emotional vulnerability, they may as well be living in a soap opera.

First reaction: this fic is long. Make sure to space out your reading of it or you will die. I have a soft spot for cuddly/affectionate/softie!dean, and Almaasi delivers perfectly as usual. The infidelity gave me pause, as Cas is cheating on a significant other for a long period of time. I didn't like the ending very much because it seemed out of nowhere/random, but overall, I really liked it.

This is All Life Really Means ❤ by gedry E | 90k | Fluff, Angel/Demon AU, sam/gabriel, wing!kink, h/c

The highly arranged marriage between the angels and the demon providences requires some adjusting on the parts of their highly trained security details. Needless to say the members of said details are less than happy about their new arrangements.

Ugh how I love this fic. Gedry is my go to for long fluff, and this fic is perfect for it. Includes hate-to-love, schmoop, and *whispers* tail!kink.

Going Forward ❤ by gedry E | ? | Hot, Fluff, Angel AU, wing!kink, h/c

For cloudyjenn who wanted Dean with wings and Cas showing how to use them. Cas agrees to represent the angels as part of a social experiment to help them share a greater understand with the human population. He’s not prepared for who he has to live with for the next thirty days.

I LOVE gedry's AUs. This is filled with lovely wing!kink and pining. Mmmm yes.

Play It All Night Long ❤ by janie_tangerine E | 43k | AU

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean’s brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn’t know it’s just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

The one where Cas falls for Dean before they ever meet. Sweet.

Lovingly Crafted and Tenderly Packaged ❤ by janie-tangerine E | 17k | AU, artist!Cas

wherein Castiel owns a self-run t-shirts printing business for which he also makes custom orders, Dean orders Castiel's shirts online after Sam gets him a customized one and their romance is based on nonexistent boundaries. And where Balthazar owns the sex shop in front of Castiel's store and won't mind his own business.

Such an inventive AU. Meddling!Balthazar who runs a sex-shop and all.

Inevitable Homoeroticism in Spanish Romantic Heroes by prosopopeya E | 41k | Teacher AU

Dean is a grad student studying for his MA in Spanish literature, and he’s pretty content with his sexuality as it is -- that is, fairly undefined and also secret. His attraction to Castiel, a professor to the undergrads, doesn't seem like a big deal until it becomes a very big deal, and Dean scrambles to keep his head above water.

Start Quoting Shakespere and We're Done by pyrebi T | 15k | Fluff, AU, Sam/Gabriel

In which Dean has the hots for a librarian named Cas, Cas may or may not have the hots for a mechanic named Dean, and Gabriel joins Sam in the peanut gallery in the hopes that he might just get to do a horizontal tango of his own.

Summer Vacations Suck ❤ by ratherbehere E | 4k | Hot, Highschool AU, underage, BDSM, sub!dean, pwp, kink

Summer vacations suck, and Cas seems bent on making it awkward for Dean.

This is one of my go to pwp reads. It's just hot okay.

Have Love, Will Travel by squeemonster E | 94k | AU, writer cas, stripper dean, agoraphobia

Castiel Novak is a reclusive writer with a childhood so tragic it's left him terrified to leave his home—until his overbearing brother, Gabriel, drags him out for a night on the town full of booze and strip clubs, and he encounters Dean Winchester, a mesmerizing and mysterious stripper with secrets of his own. Both men find themselves inexplicably drawn to each other, and soon Dean's private dances for Castiel become much more, as both men confess their troubles and find solace in each other's company. But neither can seem to find the courage to take their relationship further than the intimacy of the club's VIP Room—and just when Dean's own brother gives him the excuse he needs to finally admit his feelings, Dean discovers something that brings it all crumbling down. Will they find a way past their demons and their trust issues, and back to each other?

The Story of You and Me by the_digglerv E | 51k | Fluff, Post s8, Amnesia

Dean wakes up in bed next to a very human Castiel, and a journal in his own handwriting that tells him it’s two years in the future. The house looks a lot like Bobby’s, and Sam lives there too… He just can’t remember how they got from angels falling in the sky – to comfortable domesticity. While there is much in the journal Dean doesn’t remember, there is much of their story he’s always known. And as he settles into the routine of his new life and relationship with Castiel, it quickly becomes something he doesn’t know how to live without.

Dean Winchester, Straight Shooter ❤ by triedunture E | 15k | Hot, Pornstar AU

Dean Winchester, star of StraightShooter.com, is a gay-for-pay porn star with a huge following. Cas Novak signs on to do a scene with him, even though he dislikes "straight" porn stars on principle. But Dean is more complicated than he first appears, and after inadvertently learning his secrets, Cas finds himself falling for him.

Ugh yes pornstar!AUs. This one is especially...good.

Peanut Butter-Pumpkin Wedding Cake by sparseparsley E | 30k | Hot, AU

Dean is a waiter in a strip club to put his kid brother through school. Castiel is dragged to the club as a part of his sister Anna's bachelorette party. Dean and Cas hit it off, but Dean thinks Cas is the one marrying Anna.

Easy Now, With My Heart ❤ by mcpadalackles E | 49k | Hot, Teacher AU, Writer Cas

Dean Winchester is a kindergarten teacher. Castiel Milton is a writer slash works-in-a-coffee-shop. He also happens to be the extremely hot one-night stand that Dean never intended to see again other than in his own fantasies (he’s classy like that). But suddenly Cas is everywhere and Dean is convinced that Fate is out to get him. And maybe they do this thing backwards, but that doesn’t have to mean they can’t make it in the end, right?

I love how Dean and Cas decide to take it slow after they've already had sex. Lots of UST.

Don't Walk On By by Virtualpersonal & Brimstonegoldv E | 60k | Pretty Woman AU, Wing!kink, escort dean,

Dean works several jobs in order to pay for medical care for Sam who has been severely injured. The day he meets Castiel, Dean's luck changes, though it is debatable whether it is for the better or for the worse. Castiel is an angel who has been cut-off from heaven to live with Man for a hundred years. Trying to right a wrong, he accidentally hires Dean as his rent-a-boy and learns a thing or two about being human.

What Falls For Love by bravest E | 51k | AU, reverse!verse

An angel of the lord going by the human name of Dean is told to make contact with his current charge, Castiel, on Heaven's list of prophets-to-be. Castiel is swept up in a war waged by angels and demons, and both the angel playing human and the human playing prophet learn things are never as simple as they seem.

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance T | 31k | Angst, Horror

Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh. But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

Roots by AnythingToasted E | 38k | Angst, Fluff,

After the apocalypse, Dean, Sam and Castiel settle into a gentler life, and Dean starts to make peace with the things that plagued him before 2009. Tentatively, carefully, he starts getting better. But something lives in the woods, in the house; something calls to him in his dreams that crosses the lines between waking and sleep. Whilst trying to reconcile himself with himself, Dean finds himself wondering if the things he’s managed to build are really slipping away, or if the whole thing is just in his head.

Get Inside My Soul by angelivenantium M | 84k | Angst, Fluff, Highschool AU, Hipster Cas

There’s something about Castiel that just makes Dean want him. Well, not even want; he needs to have him. He’s not sure if it’s the weird, often oversized sweaters or his thin wrists or that black, messy hair that make him tick, but he’s pretty sure the main thing is his eyes, that, unfortunately, never look at him twice. And Dean is freaking popular, everybody looks at him twice. Dean transferred to this school three years ago and is now a senior, and he’s been secretly ogling Castiel ever since. This distant yearning might have worked in the past years, but now it was just four months until he would graduate and leave this school forever, so he had woken up this morning and decided that fuck it, he wasn’t some 12-yearold girl; if he wanted something he would make sure he got it, even if that something was a rude hipster kid who didn't even notice his existence. End of story.

Let Your Grace Guide You by angel_kink E | 24k | post s5, wing!kink

After Castiel heals Dean at Stull, the hunter finds himself with unexpected abilities. He becomes determined to use his newfound powers, with Castiel’s guidance, to rescue Sam from the cage. In order to ensure that their venture to Hell is successful, they are forced to team up with Crowley, who has his own agenda regarding what’s locked up in the pits of Hell. During the course of their alliance, secrets come out, feelings bubble to the surface, and Dean finds himself once again facing an impossibly dangerous situation in an effort to save his brother.

Player 2 is Ready by AlreadyPainfullyGone E | 25k | Hot, Highschool AU, Underage, BDSM

AU in which Dean and Cas meet in an online, multiplayer game. Both of them are hiding who they really are - Castiel, ashamed of being so small and yet still a dominant, and Dean, who always gets taken for a top, but who is actually submissive. Little do they know, they live in the same town, they're just at different schools.

Come Carpe Diem, Baby by a_carnal_mink E | 9k | canon!verse, wing!kink, Hot,

"I am the only being in all Creation who has cradled your soul in my hands. I know you. I know you are complete. Because I know you completely.

300 Things ❤ by cautionzombies E | 76k | College AU

Dean's life at twenty-four makes him feel like he's forty—he works two jobs to help pay bills for his house and put his genius little brother through private school, and has spent six years (on and off, let's be honest) working on his mechanical engineering degree at KU. With so much of his life devoted to his family, Dean has little time in his schedule for class and no time for social interaction. Then, while getting his classes together for the fall, he finds himself in a do-or-die situation: He must take his last literature class now, his spring already filled with those left for his major...except that none of the English classes will fit his schedule. This is how Dean grovels and begs Dr. Castiel Milton to make a special arrangement for him, and Dr. Milton does.

YES. I love their relationship dynamic in this, and it's actually quite relatable and personal for me. Sam is fab.

The Prank that Filled the Spank Bank ❤ by BookkBaby E | 41k | Hot, AU, First Time

It starts with a prank war and a chance meeting at the auto shop Dean works at. (Based off of Almaasi's prompt: Castiel records audio pornography. Not professionally, or anything - he writes it and then reads it out, and uploads it free to the world. It’s not Dean’s usual type of porn - at all - but there’s something about Castiel’s gravelly, yet somehow smooth and beautiful voice that keeps him hooked.)

Another Classic. Dean masturbates to Cas's voice, and then when he actually runs into him...well.

PWP: Pie Without Plot by MajorEnglishEsquire & orange_crushed E | 79k | Post s8, Fluff,

He is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything

White Winter Hymnal ❤ by newbluemoon E | 24k | Coffee Shop AU

Christmas AU fic. Writer!Dean walks into a café late at night on Christmas Eve, looking for inspiration for his next novel. Instead he finds librarian!Cas.

I love how evocative this fic is, especially Dean's inner dialogue.

Waves by wormstaches M | 54k | Angst, College AU, h/c, Hipster Cas

Dean Winchester is the average guy: football, college, kid brother, nice car, girls and beer; his life is black and white, that is until he meets Castiel Collins: pretentious, slutty, sweater-wearing genius, who won't even take the time to look up at him from his obscure novel while he insults him. And then everything is shades of gray and Dean is drowning.

Till Human Voices Wake Us ❤ by saltandbyrne E | 20k | Hot, AU, tentacles, bottom!dean

In a world of hippogriffs, hydras and flying pygmy elephants, intrepid explorer Dean Winchester was sure he had seen it all. When a monster destroys the only home he's ever known, Dean finds himself falling for his strange rescuer and struggling to face his past.

Tentacle!sex with feelings. My jam, basically.

Grey ❤ by Valyria E | 65k | Angst, Hot, a/b/o

In a world where people don't see in color until they find their true mate, the first thing Dean sees when he pulls himself out of his grave is the blue sky. When Castiel raised him from the Pit, he inadvertently claimed Dean as his mate.

Note: cover art is my work :)

Punch Drunk Love ❤ by highermagic E | 16k | Hot, Highschool AU, Underage

Teenage Human AU. It's a classic boy-likes-straight-boy story. Or possibly boy-likes-not-so-straight-boy story. Castiel can't quite decide. It's a little confusing when your supposedly straight best friend offers to teach you how to kiss.

One of Rowan's more underrated fics. Unbelievably hot.

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic recs #spn #spn fic rec #*#list

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vampamber · 7 years

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“Running Into Thursday” (Inktober Day 3: Video Game)

Title: Running Into Thursday

Author: VampAmber

Pairing: Dean/Cas

Summary: Dean has been gaming online with ThursdayMourning for almost a year, and he's become pretty close friends with him by now. And yeah, fine, he's totally got a crush on the guy. But you would too if you heard that voice. He didn't know that Thursday went to his school, though. That was definitely a shock to find out. A good one. Hopefully...

Word Count: 2162

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12258264

“Hey, Thursday! Behind you!” Dean shouted, glad his family was gone for the entire day. He was playing his favorite video game in the front room on the big screen, and could only do that when he had the house to himself. The television set in his room wasn’t bad, it was just a lot smaller than this one. No surround sound, either.

The soldier on screen with the username ThursdayMourning above its head turned around and shot the enemy that had been sneaking up behind him. “Thanks, Classic,” the gravelly voice came through the headset. Dean’s username was ClassicRockGod, so he’d gotten used to the nickname ages ago.

“Oh, just get a room already,” complained the voice that Dean knew by now belonged to his teammate LuciferRising. He was a bit of an ass at times, but he wailed on the other teams so Dean was willing to forgive his crappy personality. He was pretty sure the guy’s skill at this game was the only reason the other two put up with him most of the time, as well.

“Shove it Luci,” Dean teased, and laughed when he heard the guy grumbling through the headset. He could hear Thursday chuckling, and that made Dean smile. The guy had such an amazing voice. Probably was some thirty year old reject living in his parents’ basement, though, so Dean never said anything about it.

“I think you two would be adorable together,” PeaceOutBitches, their final teammate and the only girl, said in between shots.

“You’ve never even seen us,” Thursday pointed out.

“Love beyond appearances and usernames,” she teased, before taking out the last three enemies and winning the round for their team.

The four of them ended up playing for another two hours before everybody had to go off and do other things. But for the rest of the day, and well into the evening, Dean kept wondering in the back of his mind what Thursday might actually be like offline. He knew the guy’s profile said he was 17, the same age as Dean, but anybody could lie online. And with a voice like that, no way was he that young. The fact that his profile also said they lived in the same state had always made Dean wonder if he’d ever passed the guy on the street without even knowing. But Kansas wasn’t exactly a tiny state, so the odds of that happening were pretty much zero.

He crawled out of bed the next morning, almost breaking his alarm clock to make it stop beeping. As much as his aunt Ellen liked to tease him about being like the comic strip cat, he really did hate Mondays. He saw that he was running way later than usual, so he threw on some clean clothes, and grabbed an apple on his way out the door so that his mom wouldn’t complain about him not eating breakfast.

Dean ran all the way to school to try and avoid getting stuck in detention again for being late, and damn near cried when he heard the bell ring right as he was less than half a block away. The detention itself wasn’t so bad, but the long lecture his dad would inevitably give him was going to suck. Especially since the last one had ended with “The next time you get detention for being late for class, Dean, I’m taking away your video games and internet for two weeks so that you can learn to be more responsible.” Damn it. The rest of his team was gonna be pissed, especially since he had no way to contact them outside of the game.

Mr. Adler, his homeroom teacher, made sure the chew him out in front of the whole class for being late, which only made his day even worse. By the time the final bell rang and he was heading towards the detention room, he was in an altogether crappy mood. Literally running into the school’s resident goth weirdo, Castiel or whatever, was seriously the last straw.

“Hey, watch where you’re going,” Dean growled, even though he’d been the one not paying attention to where he was going. The guy glared at him, his blue eyes looking even more intense because of all the black makeup around them. It matched his all black outfit, and even the guy’s nails from what Dean could tell. Probably matched his soul, too. The guy never really talked to anybody, and mostly hung out with the only other goth around, a chick named Meg Masters.

“You’re the one that ran into me,” the goth shot back, and Dean froze as he skulked off. That voice, it sounded so familiar. It sounded like Thursday’s voice. But there was no way.

Dean spent the entirety of detention sneaking glances at Castiel, trying to remember everything he knew about the guy. His last name was Novak, and he hung out with Meg, and he wore a lot of black clothes, and he snuck off during lunch to smoke under the bleachers, and… yeah, that was pretty much everything he knew. Probably what most people knew about the guy. Which basically gave Dean nothing to help figure out if he really was Thursday or not.

Dean tried to catch Castiel when detention was over, but the guy was gone without a trace by the time Dean got outside. He got the lecture when he got home, exactly as promised, and had to hand over the power cords to his systems. So now he couldn’t even ask Thursday if that was him or not. He finished up his homework and spent the rest of the evening alternating between sulking, and trying to figure out what to do next in this Thursday enigma. The best he could come up with was to just go up and ask the guy tomorrow. There was a reason everybody said his little brother Sammy was the smart one in the family.

Dean didn’t have any classes with the potential Thursday, so he had to wait until lunch the next day to speak with him. As per usual, he was nowhere to be found in the cafeteria, so Dean slipped out to see if he was in his normal spot under the bleachers. He could hear a girl’s voice, and then laughter as he got closer. It sounded exactly how Thursday laughed, which gave Dean a boost of confidence. It had to be him. So much for the thirty year old loser in the basement theory.

“Hey Clarence,” Meg drawled when he got close enough to be spotted, “looks like we’ve got company.”

Castiel looked up and scowled. “What do you want?” He huffed out, not even bothering to hide the lit cigarette in his hand. Meg had at least had the decency to lower hers to her side.

“Uhh, can I talk with you for a minute?” Dean asked, suddenly feeling nervous. As often as he shot down Lucifer and Peace’s teasing, he actually had started developing a crush on Thursday. And if this was him?

Castiel squinted his eyes, as if he didn’t trust Dean. “Sure, I guess?”

When Meg didn’t make any indication of leaving, Dean added “Alone.”

“Well, I know when I’m not wanted,” she said airily as she ground out her cigarette and grabbed her things. “You play nice with your boyfriend, Clarence. Teen pregnancy is a bad thing, remember?” Castiel flipped her off but she just giggled as she left.

“She seems nice,” Dean said sarcastically when she was finally out of sight.

“At least she doesn’t treat me like garbage for the way I dress,” Castiel replied with a shrug. He took a quick drag before asking “So what did you want, anyway? Come to challenge me to a fight after school for scuffing your shoes or something?” The more he talked, the more certain Dean was that this was him, ThursdayMourning, the guy he’d been playing alongside for almost a year now. The guy that he’d been slowly developing a crush on all this time.

“Thursday?” Dean asked, his brain not even thinking. When Castiel’s eyes widened, that was all the proof he needed. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“Didn’t think you’d ever figure it out, Classic,” Castiel responded, no longer looking near as tough. “I’ve known almost since the beginning,” he admitted, blushing ever so slightly.

“Why didn’t you say anything, man? We could’ve been hanging out all this time,” Dean said as he sat down next to the guy that he hadn’t known he’d been friends with until yesterday.

“Have you seen me?” Castiel, Thursday, gestured to himself with his mostly smoked cigarette.

“If I’d known it was you, I wouldn’t have cared, Thursday,” Dean said. Now that he knew, he was giving him a much closer look. The guy was actually pretty attractive, underneath all the teen angst, and Dean could feel his crush growing bigger by the second.

“Really?” Castiel asked, looking kind of amazed. Their eyes met, and Dean couldn’t seem to pull himself away. Not that he really wanted to.

“Yeah, you’re my friend,” Dean reassured him. His eyes flicked down to Castiel’s mouth. His pink lips looked chapped, and Dean wondered what they’d feel like on his. He swallowed, hard, trying to stop himself from thinking things like that.

“And… maybe more?” Castiel asked shyly, his words pulling Dean’s attention back up.

“Yeah,” Dean said softly, hoping, praying that Castiel meant what he thought he did. “Yeah, if you want… more…”

Castiel dropped his cigarette and was cupping Dean’s face with both his hands in one smooth motion, and then he was crashing their lips together in what Dean wouldn’t have admitted to anybody was his very first kiss. Castiel tasted like cigarettes but Dean couldn’t possibly care less because damn was this guy a good kisser. They spent the rest of the period making out like their lives depended on it.

“I’ve actually had a crush on you since middle school,” Castiel admitted as they made their way back to the school building when lunch was almost over. Dean was running one hand through his hair trying to fix it so it didn’t look like he’d just spent half an hour making out with a very touchy feely guy, while the other was being gripped by Castiel’s as they walked. “I never tried anything because I was too afraid. That’s probably why I knew it was you so soon, though.”

“I kinda wish you’d said something sooner,” Dean said before pausing to pull his new boyfriend into a quick kiss. “We’ve been missing out on a lot.”

“Peace is gonna freak when she finds out,” Castiel said when they were back to walking. “And Lucifer’s never going to let us live this down.”

Dean smiled, on cloud ten at this point. “Yeah, probably. Speaking of, could you let everybody know I’m electronically grounded for two weeks because of detention yesterday?”

“I was wondering where you were. We had to play with some newbie who almost got us killed,” Castiel said.

“Sorry about that,” Dean said softly, but Castiel gave him a kiss on the cheek and he felt a little less guilty.

Two weeks later, when the video game and internet ban was finally lifted, Dean found out just how right Castiel had been. He logged on to eight messages in his inbox from PeaceOutBitches, the first one worried about where he was, and the other seven full of fangirl-y babble about how she had ‘shipped’ them all along and other stuff that Dean rolled his eyes at but still made him smile.

And when he logged on to the game itself and the chat feature activated, he was treated to a long squeal from her. “I bet you guys are so cute together!” She said far too excitedly at the end of it.

“Totally called it,” Lucifer said smugly. “Now you guys have to make me the best man at the wedding.”

“Ooh, and I wanna help plan it,” Peace said, and it seriously sounded like she was bouncing in her seat. It was a good thing the game itself hadn’t started yet, or else they’d all be dead by now. “Star Wars theme, Thursday can be Han and Classic can be Leia.”

“Okay, first off I am so Han Solo. And secondly, we’re just in high school, guys,” Dean said, and decided he’d hafta smack Cas with something tomorrow for all the snickering he could hear him doing.

“Just means we have longer to plan things,” Peace pointed out.

“Long engagements are usually a good idea for young kids like you,” Lucifer added, even though everybody knew he was only in his early twenties.

“We’re not getting married!” Dean shouted in frustration.

“Yet,” Cas added.

“I hate every single one of you,” Dean grumbled as Peace and Lucifer went back to planning the wedding and Cas went back to laughing, the bastard.

#inktoberbunker #fanfiction #destiel #high school au #pining #fluff #goth castiel #first meeting

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deanstits · 7 years

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AU Fic Rec, Part 4

Modern AU

Buckle the fuck in children, this is going to be long and uhhhhhhhhh long.

Modern AU - Anything set in current day, but not in the SPN universe. A lot of the BDSM/sex worker fics fit into this category but obviously??? They belong on the ever important BDSM list. Duh.

Let’s get fuckin ready.

Part One - BDSM

Part Two - Sci-FI/Fantasy

Part Three - Historical Setting

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1. The Last Great Race - Kicking it off with a bang. Cas is a reporter, he goes to Alaska to cover the Iditarod - the dog sled race. Dean is participating and so is Sam and there are so many huskies and also romance. It has a prequel time stamp. It is lovely and I love it and read this right now.

2. Pies and Prejudice - This is on my Top 8, but it’s a Pride and Prejudice Great British Bake Off Modern AU Fusion. Dean is Liz and Cas is Darcy. Please read this it’s wonderful and also cake is involved.

3. Between The Lines - Fam, Okay, I thought this was going to be Garbage but it’s not. Environmentalist Cas gets in a twitter feud(!!!!) with Western Actor Dean and they make a bet to live in off the land for a week and it’s. Amazing. Enemies 2 frends 2 luvrs. Trust me.

4. And Then You Destroy Yourself - The only Non-BDSM College AU worth reading. Cas is a freshman, he joins the College Newspaper, there is drama and mystery and intrigue. And Gay. The underage drinking is bit cringe but it’s very in character for college students, so what r u gonna do.

5. Love In The Wild - This is a hilaaaaarious Reality Show AU. Dean goes on a dating show and does challenges and meets the luv of his life, u kno? What more do you need. There is sex.

6. Through Basin And Range - Yeee buddy, Road Trip Fic!!!!! Dean and Cas are there but have broken up and it’s rough, and Sam is there also but he is sexting Kevin for some reason. Cas is spending the summer working on a thesis for his Geology Masters (master of rocks), and Sam n Dean tag along. This story really is lovey. It’s only on LJ though, so. :/

7. Unintended - Lawyer Cas bids for Fire Fighter Dean in a date auction and honestly. The sex in this is so good, like I lost this fic for three years but still remembered The Scene (You’ll know the one, that shit is hardly ever seen outside of PWP). This fic is so slept on. You need to read it. I think they live in Washinton or something. Maybe NYC. I forget, I’m busy thinking about The Scene.

8. Your Heart Makes - Ok so there are Three Disney Land AUs in this fandom that I know of. One of them is garbage, one of them is pretty good, and the last is incredible and it’s ur lucky day because the incredible one is this one. Castiel suffers from pretty bad depression, and is just trying to get through life, day by day. Insert Dean w/ a heart condition. There’s love, there’s slow build, there’s disney ride hand jobs. It’s a good time.

9. Any Little Heartbreak - I just reread this one recently! Heart Surgeon Dean! Surgery Nurse Cas! Enemies to FWB to Lovers! It’s like Scrubs meets... some sort of medical drama. Whatever, it’s a trip, and Meg is so fun.

10. Bearing Point - This fic is lovely and fun and it’s construction Dean + restoration expert Cas. I have beef with this fic, in that the author made Dean gay, instead of bi or pan and for me, a huge bisexual with strong emotional ties to Dean’s bisexuality, it kind of grated on me a bit and ruined the immersion. But, if you’re not a big baby like me, this fic is lovely and wonderful and they literally build homes together and also get nasty.

11. For All You Young Hockey Players Out There, Pay Attention - SPORTS AU. I don’t like sports but SPORTS AU. Dean is a hockey person. Something something NHL. Dean plays the sports with his brother. They get a new player from russia, but Dean is >:( bc they traded out his bff so Cas is The Enemy. Enemies to grudging friends to lovers. Coming out. Homophobic confusion. This fic is wonderful and lovely and sports. If you love destiel and you love Check Please, then this is the AU for U.

12. Fourth Time’s the Charm - Ooooooooh, age gap fic. Cas is a comic book artist, Dean is a fan who goes to conventions. He’s also a virgin. :) Here is a direct quote from the summary: ‘Dean shyly fumbles his way through his first real relationship.’ Literally what more do you need? Literally?

13. If At First You Don’t Succeed (Destroy All Evidence That You Ever Tried) - lmao this fic is ridiculous. Inspired by the HIMYM episode, the three days rule, Dean replaces his number in Castiel’s phone to test he’s not being too eager when he meets girls. sexting ensues and Dean is !!!!! Gay Panicked. I love it, read it now, it’s sexy.

14. Prosopagnosia - This one is Teen and Up, I know, I am shocked that I’ve included it too. But it’s such a sweet story. Castiel works in a Gas n’ Sip and he has a cognitive disorder that means he’s face blind. He can’t recognize anyone, which makes his blossoming relationship with Dean a bit complicated. But they work around it. The Impala plays an important role.

15. Run Boy Run - FAM OK FAM PLS. Blind! Dean wants to compete in the Boston Marathon, but he needs a guide people to help him navigate obstacles and the other contestants. Castiel’s brother signs him up and he’s reluctant, but then he meets Dean and uhhhhhhh it all works out. It’s so sweet. Read it. Teen and Up again??? I’m srry, but it’s really good.

16. Yellow - Here’s another I haven’t read yet, but. It’s Elizabeth1985 and also it’s Cas in Witness protection and the excerpt I read places it firmly on my favourites list. Ex-mobster Cas, They are bartenders, there is falling in love, there is also fucking yeaaaa buddy, back on the sexy bandwagon.

17. Rough Seas - Dean is a Lieutenant Commander who moves home with a toddler and he’s involved with the Coast Guard, and he used to know Cas but there was gay panic and so things are tense and angsty and wonderful and this fic is amazing. SLOW BUILD. LOVERS TO ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS. Literally the best. There is a sequel which is almost as long. This fic is so lovely.

18. Asunder - This fic my guys, this fic. Please send help. Social Worker Dean. Recovering Heroin addicts Sam and Ruby who are getting married. They go to Bobby’s for the wedding. I forget how Cas fits in but he’s there and it’s lovely and so well written and wonderful and honestly? A Classic. If you read anything from this list, read this fic.

19. Satin and Sawdust - Lmao u guys u know me. Dean in panties love story. It’s on my Top 8. There’s capentry, there’s gay panic Cas, there’s satin and lace and soft cotton and also Dean has two cats. Read this right now.

20. Living In Agony - THIS FIC MY GUYS. I had three people read it from my Top 8 and they all died and met me in heaven bc i also died when I read it bc it is so. Lovely. Angst, mental illness, teachers Cas and Dean, Gabriel and Charlie are there also, Jess is a delight, Sam is in love with green smoothies, the sex is ridiculous (there is one line that helped shape me as a person and you will know which it is and you can blame this fic for all of the absolute filth that comes out of my brain. Read this right now.

21. Inevitable Homoeroticism in Spanish Romantic Heroes - :) Okay so Dean is a Grad student and Cas is a professor and it’s academic and sexy and not really a college au and I read it like four years ago and I still think about it. I suggest it very highly!!!

22. Get Some - Dean is in college and needs a place to live. He goes to live with Castiel, at the stoner house. Gay Panic happens and there are drugs and loads of casual sex and it’s honestly a good time. A bit angsty but mostly thumbs up muy bueno.

23. That Summer - Short and sweet, lost love, this fic is so lovely and wonderful. It does feature an age gap with underage Dean so, if that’s not your bag... He is 17 at the time. Farmer Cas! Love and exploring sexuality!

24. Rvr Ro11435 - Destiel works at Nasa!!! Neither are astronauts but they are smart cookies who help send people to space. It’s tagged as an office romance. It’s cute.

25. The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through Chlamydia - One night stand. Dean gets an STD. Has to find his boo and tell ‘em about the STD. There’s fun sex and love and one of them is a baker and the love is so sweet and I love this fic. And I’m psure Cas gets a cat.

26. Say a Prayer and Light a Candle - College AU where Cas struggles with dating agnostic Dean bc he is very Jewish, and it’s important to him and his family. This fic is special, and really culturally rich. I love it. Little bit of Angst, mostly love and sweetness.

27. Painted Angels - Fuck u this one is hurt of my heart. The Angst is Unreal. Dean is an artist. Or, he was an Artist. Lost Love, which gets found again. Cas returning to town a decade later. All the good shit.

28. Small Town Charmer - SMALL TOWNS! DEAN AND CAS! THEY RUN BUSINESSES AND FALL IN LOVE! Errrrrrr OTHER STUFF HAPPENS! This fic is lovely and great and if you don’t read it then u a dum dum.

29. Summer Holds a Song (We Might Sing Forever) - :) Age difference. Body worship. Dean Winchester described as a Greek God. The fucking is so hot. The love is so sweet. It’s short, but you gotta read this.

30. The Great Escapist - This fic is so sweet. College roommates Dean and Cas spend the summer together and fall in love. I don’t remember if there is Gay panic but like... I’m pretty sure.

Okay! 30 seems like enough. Maybe in the future I will do a part five. We’ll see. :)

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