#I know this story sucks but I needed to post something new to this blog
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The Fake Ring
Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female Reader
Summary: The three times you lied about your relationship status with a ring and one time you don’t have to anymore or - It’s easier to work as a bartender with a fake ring on your finger to avoid situations. But that also means Jake thinks you’re already in a relationship
Word Count: ~2.7k
Warnings: is the beach scene a warning?, discussions about situations when you need to lie you’re in a relationship to get rid of people, me not having a clue about the navy
AN: I started this story a year ago when I bought myself a fake ring for work. I rewrote it 3 times and I wasn't so sure, if I should post it on this blog, but I love TGM and I had fun writing it, so: Hi Jake, welcome to this blog
When you needed to make sure you were off limits
The night had just started for you as you were stacking the clean glasses and had just finished counting the register. Nobody was there so far, but that would change when the naval aviators would come in and the folks that tried to talk to them or get one to sleep with them would arrive. They often arrived after them in the hopes they would see their entry.
You liked the beginning of your shift when you had the room to yourself until the regulars came in and then the aviators. They were nice and often chatted with you until it got crowded. It was how you got to know some of them, and you were especially fond of the group that was currently stationed there.
Right when you thought about it the door opened and a few of them stepped in. They stopped at the bar and waited for you to make their drinks while small talk floated through the room. They took their drinks and went to their side of the bar where the first bets for a game of pool were placed.
“You’re not playing tonight?” you asked Hangman who stayed back at the bar with you.
“I’ll let them a chance of winning before I join them,” he smirked at you and you laughed. He wasn’t wrong though; he was good at pool. And at dart. And at flirting. “I rather keep you company if you have time for me. How was your day?” he asked and took a sip of his beer. You knew that he would quit after the first beer and would switch to something non-alcoholic if the next day was a working day.
“Same old, same old. Nothing as exciting as flying for sure. I bet you don’t want to hear about me going grocery shopping and that my highlight was to pick up a new book that I got lost in until I noticed I had to leave for work,” you teased as you filled a drink for another customer.
When you came back Hangman was still there. “I like to hear about everything that makes you happy.” His eyes quickly went to the piece of jewelry on your hand. “I’ll see you later, darling,” he said and stood up before he joined the others at the pool table. You almost forgot about the ring. You started wearing it when people started hitting on you and for the most part it worked. And it was better this way, because you weren’t sure if you could tell Hangman no.
Hangman flirted all the time, so you wouldn’t be special. Even though he always asked about you and your day and coaxed you into telling more. And people did talk about him a lot and had a certain opinion of him, but he was always respectful and you knew he wouldn’t cross a line.
That’s why you were seeing him flirting a few hours later with two women who were more than willing to do so. Phoenix had slipped into a seat in front of you. “Another round?” you asked her. It was a slow night so you could give her a few minutes.
“Yes please, and a break from Hangman's terrible flirting, so don’t hurry,” she replied and it made you laugh.
“I bet he isn’t that bad,” slipped your lips and you hurried to bend down and grab some bottles, so she couldn’t see your face. But she was still staring at you when you were back on her eyelevel.
2. When you had to protect your heart
Inventory sucked! There was no other way to describe the days when you had to count how many things you still had at the bar and what you needed to order. You stepped out of the cool bar towards the bench where Penny sat outside. “Okay, I counted...” you never finished the sentence as you just spotted what was happening on the beach.
“Take a seat, enjoy the show,” Penny chuckled and patted the bench next to her.
“What is happening?” you managed to get out and stare at the people who were playing some kind of game – shirtless. “Is that Phoenix?”
“Yup and everyone else. Give me the list,” she held out her hand and you put the paper in her hand before you sat down and started watching whatever was happening there. “I bet we could get a lot of money if we would record that,” you said to your boss.
“Yeah, but do we like to share?” was her reply and you shook your head no.
“While we’re at it… what’s going on with Hangman and you?” Her tone was easy, but she looked at you with something that told you there was no escaping that conversation.
“Nothing. He likes to flirt with everyone, that’s it.” You shrugged your shoulders and let your gaze wander back to the game when a loud shout was heard, and someone lifted a guy – Bob? You weren’t so sure – into the air.
“If you would take that thing of your finger, maybe,” Penny started, but you interrupted her.
“There is a reason this is on this finger.” You wiggled your hand, and the small stone caught the sunlight and reflected it. “People won’t accept a no anymore and,” this time it was Penny who interrupted you.
“Did someone do anything you didn’t want to?”
“No! It’s just they see it as a challenge when I decline it. But once they see the ring they kind of back off. It's just easier for me this way.”
“Okay, once they do you tell me. I won’t tolerate anything of that, okay?” She waited until you agreed and patted your hand. Inventory took longer than usual because you were distracted by the game.
Penny had gone inside to place the order and you were busy collecting everything from the table when a shadow fell over the papers. “Enjoyed the show?”
“It was okay,” you replied and eyed the sandwich Hangman was eating. He held a half out towards you. After a short hesitation you took it and bit into it. He took Penny’s seat and you shared the food. You were thankful that he had put on a shirt, because otherwise you would have stared at his body.
“I think I need to have a chat with them,” he said once he finished and licked his finger. You were mesmerized and didn’t catch on immediately.
“Huh?”
“Your partner. They need to take better care of you. But I shouldn’t have to point out the obvious that you should feed your partner. You never even told me a name,” he said and looked at you expectingly.
Suddenly you went hot, caught in your own lie. Never had someone requested a name of you and you couldn’t come up with something. “Maybe because you only talk about yourself,” you said and stood up. You quickly grabbed the papers and threw a “Thank you for lunch” over your shoulder before you went inside the building.
It was a lie; he was always asking about you. But you knew when you came up with something on such a short notice you would be caught in a web of lies. You needed to think about it.
3. When you had to admit you lied
“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Bob asked when he saw Jake watching you again at the Hard Deck.
Jake didn’t even bother to look away from you, only when it was his turn at pool. “Because despite all of you thinking I’m an asshole, I’m not hitting on someone who is taken. It’s just a little flirting and as soon as she tells me to stop I will,” he said while lining up his cue and as he didn’t lower his voice the others were also pulled into the conversation.
“Who are we talking about?” Rooster asked and hoped his opponent would be too distracted to sink the next ball.
“His crush,” Coyote jumped in, he had been wanting to bring it up for a while.
“What crush?” Rooster asked confused. The others just stared at him, while Jake mumbled something about not having a crush. “Don’t look at me, he was just flirting with three different people last week,” Rooster defended himself.
“They wanted to be entertained and I just did that. It wasn’t as if I was leaving with them though.” Despite the talking he managed to sink two more balls before it was Bradley's turn again.
“Okay so... if she’s in a relationship, why is she spending her breaks with you? And I haven’t heard her talking about a relationship ever,” Bob thought loudly. “Although she also mostly talks to you and not me.”
This made Jake pause. Not once had he heard a name from you, he saw the ring and assumed and went from there. But you also didn’t deny anything when he mentioned a partner. But Jake was anything but shy that’s why he left the table without an excuse and stalked to the bar. He waited patiently for you to finish your conversation and shooed Penny away when she wanted to take his order. She gave him a knowing look, but he didn’t break her gaze. Only when he noticed you approaching, he looked in your direction. You shot him a smile and showed him you’d be with him soon.
“Want a refill?” you asked once you stopped in front of him.
“Are you in a relationship?” The question made you stop and you stared at him like a deer caught in the headlight.
“Why are you asking?” Your response told him a lot, so he just raised his eyebrow. “No, I’m not,” you admitted as you didn’t want to lie to him.
“Okay, then why this?” he pointed at your finger. Another patron showed you he wanted to order something and Penny was busy at the other end of the bar.
“I’ll join you in my break and explain then, okay? So, about the refill?”
“I’m good, see you then,” he knocked on the bar twice before he made his way to the restroom.
You took your break earlier than you would have usually. After a stop in the kitchen you walked over to the pool table with a plate full of nachos and two cokes in your hand. You pushed one in Jakes hand who was leaning against the wall watching the current game. You held out your plate too, but he just shook his head. It was quiet for a while when you watched the other aviators play.
“How often have you been hit on and the person didn’t back off when you told them you weren't interested? Or were you always interested? Wait, I just realized I asked the wrong person.” You looked around and wanted to ask Phoenix when you spotted Bob. You repeated the question again. Poor Bob looked tortured and admitted it had happened quiet often.
“Some people even see it as a challenge, especially when more people are around,” Phoenix chimed in who had come over when she spotted you with her back seater.
“If someone tells me they’re not interested, why should I humiliate myself and try harder?” Jake wondered.
“Oh Jake, if only everyone would be that way,” you patted his arm and didn’t know why you were surprised that it was quite hard under your touch. “The thing is I’m at work, a little flirting is okay, but people seem to forget that the later it gets. And the easiest way to get them to back off and not cause a scene is this one.” You held up your ring to show him. “This works way better than the I’ve got a boyfriend excuse and don’t even get me started on the girlfriend option.”
“So why not say anything to me?” Jake finally asked.
You shrugged. “How should I have known you’d be different back then? And you already noticed it. I didn’t know if you were really interested and that you started asking questions.”
“Just wanted to make sure you know if you say the word I’ll back down. Will you say the word?” His eyebrow rose while he stared at you, waiting for your answer.
“Jury is still out. My break is over, if you want to see me you must visit me at the bar,” you threw a wink at Jake before you walked back to the kitchen to return the dishes.
+ 1 time you didn't need the ring
“Hey darling, okay for me to come in?” you heard Jakes before you saw him. He was standing in the doorway with the sun behind him, so you told yourself this was the reason it was hard to look at him.
“Sure,” you nodded and he stepped inside. “You alone?”
“Yeah,” he confirmed and walked towards the bar where you were stacking glasses. “I’m actually here to tell you we’re leaving for a short while so you wouldn’t worry about,” he kind of rambled at the end it caused you to look up at him and stop your task.
“Are you nervous?” you finally asked.
“Me? Never!” He tried to sound confident, but you saw right through him.
“You know how long you’ll be gone?” The walk around the counter towards him was quick and you put your arms around him and pulled him close to you to your first actual hug. It didn’t take him long to return the gesture and his arms found their way around your middle.
“Not allowed to share,” he mumbled and you noticed how some weight dropped from his shoulder.
“Okay, well come back safe.”
He promised you that and let go after a while. It seemed like neither of you were ready for that.
“Hangman!” He stopped at your yelling just before he was about to leave the place. “Bring back everyone else home too.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he saluted and left quickly.
-
“Keep them coming, sweets. And add whatever you want to and join us.”
“Thank you, I’m working. But I’ll bring a new round shortly,” you said and sidestepped the table and the outstretched arm to go back to the bar. So far this group wasn’t a real bother, but you had to be careful when the night progressed. And three rounds later they got kind of rowdy telling you to join them again. It was more demanding this time.
“Is there a problem here?” you suddenly heard a voice behind you and when you turned around you saw Jake behind you. Before you could think about it your arms wrapped themselves around his neck and you hugged him.
“You’re back! Are you okay, are the others?” Over his shoulder you could see Fanboy, Rooster and Coyote while you spotted a few others making their way over to the pool table.
“You haven’t answered his question. Is there a problem here?” Roosters smile that he sent your way was gone quickly when he mustered the guys at the table.
“No problem here at all,” one man said with his arms raised in defense.
“I sure hope so, we have no problem throwing you overboard,” Jake told them and took your hand and pulled you towards the bar. “Where is your ring?” he asked when he noticed the lack of jewelry.
“Don’t know. Felt kind of wrong wearing it now,” you shrugged.
“How about we make a deal?” he asked and you just realized how close the two of you were. “You don’t have to wear it when I’m around. I’ll take care of everything then. You can wear it when I’m not here and you can tell them that you have someone that already takes care of you.”
“Do I?” you asked cheekily, but you had also noticed that everything had shifted with Jake. And his lack of flirting with others.
“Always had. Let me take you out,” he said and everything else disappeared when his forehead pressed against yours and he stared into your eyes.
“Okay,” you breathed, and your lips almost touched. “But I must get back to work now. See you in my break?” you asked and he nodded which caused you to laugh as your faces were still touching. “See you later, Jake.” You finally walked away and didn’t see the clap Jake got on his back from his friends while he still looked after you with a lovesick look on his face.
#hangman x reader#jake seresin x reader#top gun fanfiction#tgm fic#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake seresin x you#hangman x you#top gun one shot#tgm fanfiction
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He Fell First (She Fell Harder)
A You Play Stupid Games, You Win Stupid Prizes (I'm Not a Game You Want to Lose) Oneshot
Past!Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader
Description: The Five times Bitsie couldn't keep her eyes (and thoughts) off Jake and the One time Jake couldn't keep his eyes off Bitsie.
Disclaimer: Female!Reader
Warnings: This fic encompasses the entire timeline of the events happening in You Play Stupid Games, You Win Stupid Prizes. As such, there are mentions of cheating, some cursing, sex, sexual themes, as well as a look into Bitsie's mental state during the rough non-consensual sex mentioned in Love Has No Limits, Part Two of the main story.
The content presented in this story is for audiences age 18 and over only. MINORS DNI. I will not be accepting taglist requests from Blank or Ageless Blogs for this story. I do my best to portray adult relationships in this fic. Please do not interact with this story if you feel you are not ready to read about these themes.
Word Count: 7202
A/N: Hi All! So remember when I mentioned I wasn't ready to let Jake and Bitsie go when I ended the main series? Here we are! I'm so happy to share this new installment in their story with you all! It's also my first time writing a 5 plus 1 style fic, so I hope you all love it.
A lot of this story will not make sense if you've not read the main part of the series linked below.
Thanks to @horseshoegirl and @desert-fern for reading over this oneshot as I was trying to figure out how to write a 5 plus 1 style fic!
AO3: Cross-posted here!
Wattpad: Cross-posted here!
My Masterlist
Series Masterlist
1. Before Bradley Bradshaw
You're not sure why the blond on the other side of the aisle at the Commissary is staring at you. He's beautiful. You know that for a fact because you have eyes, and you're a little weak at the knees at the sight of how he fills out his khaki uniform. He’s probably only staring because you're a mess, with your hair in a messy bun, standing in the commissary wearing a ratty, holey T-shirt and ripped-stained jeans. Moving sucks. It feels like your spine is just stretching out again after hours in the car. Honestly, you’re not sure why you decided to have all your things shipped to Lemoore instead of directly to North Island. Three trips in your car later, and you’ve got everything you need with you, but you now have an avalanche of boxes waiting in your living room to unpack.
Your entire life in boxes is another reason you’d retreated to the commissary. It’s already 6 in the evening, and you want nothing more than to eat something and flop onto the sofa for the night. You’re hoping, at the very least, to pick up a few important groceries, such as milk, bread, eggs, and cheese, to tide you over until you can run to Whole Foods or Wegmans off base. It’s as you’re debating what type of cereal you should buy that the blond first catches your attention. It’s a Wednesday, and there are a surprisingly large number of khaki-clad navy personnel walking up and down the aisles collecting items they need. You’re probably one of the few in casual clothing, but that doesn’t warrant his staring.
It takes far too much effort to turn your attention back to the two cereal boxes in your hands. You can still feel the prickle of his gaze against the back of your neck.
“Y’know, if you’re deciding between Honey Bunches of Oats and Frosted Mini Wheats, I have to tell you that you’re probably thinking too hard.”
You startle, fumbling with the boxes, and stumble back into a broad, firm chest. His laughter is warm and musical as he steadies you with big, warm hands.
“I’m sorry.” You’re flushed and hoping that you’re not as sweaty and disgusting as you feel with this Adonis of a man so close to you.
“I startled you, huh?” His grin is crooked and wicked, making you grin sheepishly.
“Yeah, you kind of did.” You turn and gesture at the cereal boxes. “So, what makes you think you know the best cereal?”
“Well, I've been eating it my whole life, you know?” His eyes seem to twinkle as he responds.
“So have I. I happen to like Honey Bunches of Oats, you know?”
“All that tells me, gorgeous, is that you haven't put something truly delicious in that pretty little mouth before today.”
You squeak a little because you're not sure you've ever been so close to a man before.
“So, I would suggest Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It's sweet and spicy, just like you are.”
You can feel yourself flush, even as he reaches past you, pulls the correct cereal box from the shelf, and places it in your cart.
“See you around, beautiful. I hope you enjoy your time on North Island.”
You’re a flustered mess as you checkout at the counter several moments later. You think about this flirty stranger as you unpack your house and put everything away for the rest of the week and most of the weekend. A part of you isn’t sure how to handle such casual flirting. Could that stranger have been serious? Did he actually want to see you around North Island? Or was that just something he was saying to be kind?
2. Befriending the Daggers
As silly as it seems, you feel like you can taste cinnamon sugar on your tongue when you and your team are introduced to the Dagger Squad in one of the hangars at North Island.
The reason why is simple. The blond who had been haunting your thoughts all weekend is standing at attention in the front row. His cocky smirk makes your knees weak, and you’re sure that his eyes on you make you stutter as you introduce yourself. Throughout that first briefing, you can feel his gaze track across your form as you take notes in your spiky hand. You think you see him smirk when your hand cramps, and you need to shake your fingers out. Still, it catches your attention in a fleeting moment, not keeping it for longer than a few seconds before the briefing grabs you again.
What follows is a day full of briefings, the problem with the laser targeting system setting your mind ticking into overdrive. Looking at the faces of the others on your team, you can see hints of the same curiosity and the same drive to solve this problem. Of course, it would be asking a bit much to be able to view the plane telemetry data and hardware logs and hear the comms recordings so soon after your introduction to the team. Something tells you you’ll have to wait for that.
“So, you’re joining us for drinks, right?” It’s one of the female lieutenants, Trace, you think her name is, who invites you out. “We go to this little place on the beach called The Hard Deck. Penny’s amazing!”
“You should join us, Bitsie!” His voice sounds just as good in the hangar as at the commissary, if a bit less worn and tired. The nickname is new, but coupled with the grin he’s leveling in your direction, you’re willing to accept it. You smile sweetly at the blond as he walks up behind Lieutenant Trace.
“I’m Jake, Jake Seresin. How’d you like the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?”
Before you can respond, though, Trace muscles her way back into the conversation. “Stop making her feel awkward, Bagman.”
You smile gently over her shoulder at Jake as Natasha walks you away, talking a mile a minute. The Hard Deck is a surprisingly homey place. It’s warm and brightly lit, smelling of lemon polish and faintly of yeasty beer. It bothers you a little bit how Natasha doesn’t seem to want to let you go. Jake’s been waiting, sweetly, this whole time. You want to thank him for his cereal recommendations. But she’s introducing you to the others, and you're actually having fun.
Before long, you find yourself in a circle of women, and you’re surprised by how nice it feels. Mara, you've known and worked with for years, but you've never been close. Callie and Natasha are like two sides of the same coin. Both of them are whip-smart and take no shit. They’re the perfect counterparts to you and Mara.
Looking back, you've never really had many female friends. Most of your colleagues are males, males who don't want anything to do with you outside of seeing you every day and inevitably getting shown up by you. So it’s nice standing at one of the bar’s high-top tables while getting to know your new colleagues and hopefully your new friends.
You’re laughing and smiling, vacantly swaying to the song's beat pouring out of the jukebox when the song cuts out. You startle, then hum as you hear the plunking of keys from the piano on the other side of the bar. When you’d walked in, talking to Natasha, you’d thought the piano was just an ornament, something defunct and unplayable. The tune leaves the wooden instrument echoing with age.
Natasha crows with glee at the sound; all the Daggers roused into a festive mood in moments. “C’mon, you two! You’re in for a real treat tonight!”
The raspy voice that starts singing melds beautifully with the old instrument, lustily belting the words of an old song into the air. It seems to be a normal occurrence. As Natasha dances and pulls you into the fray surrounding the piano, you feel relaxed enough to dance along awkwardly in her wake. The other Daggers are arrayed in a half-moon around the back of the piano, facing a man with auburn curls wearing a cheerful printed shirt. You recognize him as one of the Daggers you haven’t been introduced to yet. He’s feeling the jazzy beat of the song as his fingers dance across the yellowed ivory keys.
When he peers over the rims of his RayBans, his eyes meet yours. In that instance, the world stops because his smile takes your breath away. You’ve never felt this seen, this beautiful. His eyes sparkle, the color of the whiskey in the glass atop the glossy wood of the piano. You’ve never heard this song before, but damn, if you don’t want to learn the lyrics via osmosis just to see him smile at you for singing along. You’re not sure when the song ends, or even that it does, notes echoing in the suddenly quiet expanse of your mind. You swallow when he stands up from the bench and downs the watered-down whiskey, tracking a droplet of the amber liquid as it drips down his neck. You have to remind yourself to be cool, to avoid glancing at his mouth as he swaggers up to you.
“Hi,” His voice is like woodsmoke, dark and gorgeous as it drips into your ears. “I’m Bradley Bradshaw, but you can call me Rooster. I’m one of the Daggers, but if I’d met you before now, I’m not sure I would forget.”
“Bradley…. Bradshaw?” You’re not sure when Natasha, Callie, and Mara moved away, but when you look, you’re all alone in the corner of the bar with just Bradley Bradshaw for company.
“It’s a family name.” He drags one of his big hands through glistening curls, his bicep bunching alluringly in the frankly silly shirt he’s wearing. “My dad wanted the alliteration. My mom loved him too much to say no. So here I am.”
“It sounds like you love them a lot.”
His smile falters at your earnest words, a frown dipping his lips down for a few seconds before the smirk rises back into place. “Yeah, I did.”
Your mind churns, because you feel like you’ve pressed unwittingly onto a still un-healed old wound. You feel like you should apologize, like you have to apologize, but he doesn’t let you. The play of emotions on his face is lightning-fast. Before you can think, he’s already leading you to the next conversation topic: you.
“But that’s enough about me. Tell me about you.”
You flush and let your life story, a highly edited version, drip off your tongue. You’ve never felt like this before. You feel seen and inexplicably gorgeous, faced with a six-foot-tall man whose eyes seem to see right through you. He makes you feel giddy.
“What’re you doing tucked away in this corner with Bradshaw, Bitsie?” Jake’s voice makes you smile in a completely different way than when Bradley was making you giggle earlier.
“We were just chatting, Jake.”
“Yeah, Bagman.” It surprises you to see the nearly cruel look on Bradley’s kind-looking face. “We were just chatting. Piss off.”
Jake lifts his hands as he backs away, though you don’t miss how he mouths, “Later, pretty girl” to you over Bradley’s shoulder. You don’t miss the frown creasing on his handsome face, either.
“Does he call you Bitsie often?” Bradley sounds surprisingly concerned as he curls one of his big hands around your waist.
“He just started today.”
Bradley’s face makes you bite your lips. “I’m pretty sure he’s just teasing me, Bradley. It’s okay.”
“No, no, it’s not.” You can hear the rumble of his voice in your chest as he leans closer. “Sweetheart, he’s making fun of you. He doesn’t take you or your job seriously. He took your cute, little introductory speech and turned it into a mockery!”
“He isn’t making fun of me, Bradley.”
“Yeah, he is, sweetheart.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ears. “Bagman makes fun of everyone and everything. He doesn’t know how to give a compliment seriously if he tries.”
“He’s just going to hurt you, gorgeous.”
“No, he’s not.” You scoff.
“Turn around, sweetheart.”
You turn as bidden, expecting to see Jake looking at you with that same sweet look on his face. Instead, what you see is Jake smirking down at a gorgeous willowy blonde with big boobs and sweet, dainty features.
You, in your frumpy little business casual pants set, look terrible in comparison. When his eyes rise to meet yours, the smile falls a little, but it grows into something smarmy and ingenuine as his eyes meet the man standing behind your shoulder.
“See, sweetheart? The man flirts just to flirt. That’s all he means when he calls you Bitsie. He’ll flirt and then go home with someone else. You’re not his type. But luckily, you’re mine.”
His words make you smile, and you devote the brunt of your attention to Bradley Bradshaw again. You can feel the itch of eyes on you all night long. But when you sneak furtive glances over your shoulders at where Jake is standing with that blonde bimbo draped all over him, his attention always seems to be on her. But you can still feel the itch of his gaze in between your shoulders.
3. Dating Bradley Bradshaw
After that first night, you keep a close eye on the Daggers, especially how they interact with each other. Jake Seresin always seems to be on the outskirts of the group. Only Coyote goes out of his way to include Jake. Even when he is a central part of the conversation, Hangman seems to prefer biting commands and witty repartee, which doesn’t endear him to his squadron. You hear them all, though, noting the jokes that are so sly and cerebral that they pass the others by. You notice his concern, the tightly wound worry in every muscle as he tries his best to ensure everyone comes back home safe and sound, even in the midst of training.
Something about his attitude still bothers you, though. Or maybe it’s how he always insists on calling you Bitsie instead of your name. He can’t seem to bring himself to give you any respect, either, and it’s starting to piss you off. If you didn’t know differently, you’d assume Jake Seresin didn’t believe you belonged here, working on this team and completing vital work for the Pentagon and the US Navy. So, you dread walking into the pilot’s ready room on base for coffee. You’ve been dragging all day, and you have it on good authority that the pilot’s ready room has the best coffee on base.
Well, your thermos from home is empty, and you could use the pick-me-up, so you head over there, hoping you can avoid Jake Seresin. All you want is a decent cup of coffee before you’re back to staring at flight diagnostics until your eyes bleed.
The ready room is quiet, barring the ever-present roaring hum of jet engines in flight, and to your satisfaction, there is a pot of coffee waiting for you. You sniff at its contents, a little disappointed because there’s only enough for half a mug once you’ve assured yourself of its relative freshness. You make your mug happily, doctoring it to your satisfaction and taking the time to look around. Bradley and Nat have told you about the days they've spent here between hops while training for the Uranium Mission. The walls are covered in pictures, and you take the time to examine them as you sip your coffee.
When the radio flickers on with an echoey buzz as it connects to the comms of the jets in flight, you startle and whirl around.
“If you’re looking for the Chicken, he’s up in the air.” You have to fight to keep your dismay from showing on your face. You must be at least a little unsuccessful since there is an imperceptible smirk growing on Hangman’s face as he looks at you from one of the sofas. “At least you’ve found the coffee.”
“It’s the best coffee on base, after all.”
You refill your mug and try your best to ignore Hangman. But when you go to take another sip, you’re met with only the dregs at the bottom of your mug. There’s silence between you as you scramble into the cupboards, looking for the fresh coffee. When you measure the beans into the grinder and fire the grinder up, you deliberately avoid looking for the aviator lying supine on the sofa. You find a modicum of your composure as you measure the grinds into a new filter and fill the carafe of the coffee maker with fresh water. You hit the buttons decisively and hum appreciatively as the scent of fresh bitter coffee wafts from the pot. From the radio set, you can hear Phoenix and Bob on the comms, mostly Bob, as he clues his pilot onto unseen perils in the sky. On occasion, you can hear Phoenix’s measured tone and Bradley’s rough rasp, too.
“So, Bitsie, how do you take your coffee?”
You startle, sending crystals of sugar skittering across the countertop as Hangman’s voice gets even closer to you than it was before. You’re always impatiently waiting for the coffee to brew, so you always add the creamer and sugar to the bottom of your mug before pouring in the coffee. Hangman chuckles when he sees the sugar dripping lazily out of the torn open packet in a glittering stream.
“Sugar, huh?” He pushes you away and begins to wipe the sticky substance away but stops once he sees the bottom of your mug. “Fuck, Bitsie, do you pour any coffee into your mug at all?”
“Oh, trust me,” you snap, on the defensive at the sound of his voice so close to you, “I desperately need the caffeine to put up with you, after all.”
Something about the joking look on his face fades away at your tone, though the smile doesn’t.
“I drink my coffee black, you know?” He chuckles, leaning against the counter as he holds your mug hostage on the other side of him. “I like my coffee hot and full-bodied, a little bitter, but oh, so smooth on my tongue.”
He takes two measured steps into your space. With how close he is, you’re inundated with the scent of his cologne and the bitter tang of jet fuel. “Coincidentally, I like my women like that too.”
“And how do they like you?” One of his eyebrows rises at your statement. “Your women, Bagman. How do they like you?”
“Oh, honey.” He grins as he fills the mug up and turns around. “I promise they don’t have any complaints.”
He sips insolently out of your mug, tongue lapping at the traces of coffee left on the spoon he used to stir the steaming beverage before handing the mug filled with hot liquid back to you. Your mind stutters as Jake Seresin stares you down like you’re the best thing he’s ever seen. “Your coffee isn’t half bad either, Bitsie.” You can feel the warmth of his touch where his fingers brush against yours. “A little sweet, but it figures when the drinker is as sweet as you are.”
When you sip from the mug with your face on fire, it tastes even better than when you make it for yourself. You slip out of the room when a crackle of feedback attracts Jake’s attention. It doesn’t occur to you until you’re sitting in your chair and staring at the after-action reports of the Uranium Mission that you’re placing your mouth exactly where his was in an indirect kiss.
For the rest of the afternoon, you find your mind tracking to green eyes and a sweet smile bared genuinely in your direction. Your brain feels like a stuck record, trapped futilely in the crosshairs of his gaze from when he’d been teasing you about your coffee preferences.
Worse than the bonfire lighting up in your stomach, there’s the guilt swarming in your belly after what happened. What happened with Jake in the ready room could classify as cheating, right? You’re not exactly sure because you’re not the most experienced. You also don’t want to tell Bradley because what if you have been unfaithful to him? You can’t confide in Natasha either, because she’s Bradley’s best friend.
Suddenly, your coffee goes from tasting like god’s ichor to tasting like ash on your tongue. Fucking Jake Seresin. Why did he have to go out of his way to make your life miserable?
4. A North Island Night Out
The more time you spent around Bradley Bradshaw, the more it felt like you could fall in love. Bradley’s sweet and kind, and he never once makes you feel bad about your career choice. Sometimes, in those long afternoons stuffed inside a hangar with ceiling fans barely pushing at stagnant air, you wish you could say the same about Jake Seresin. The worst part is how he has reasons to be as cocky and arrogant as he is. He flies his jet like a man possessed, or maybe like a man with nothing to lose. Some of you can’t help but wonder what you would have faced if you'd been going out with Jake instead of Bradley. You're not sure you would have been enough to change his ways.
Bradley, on the other hand? He's like your knight in shining armor. He never minds your rambling or how you babble when you get sucked into a conversation. In fact, you'd argue that Bradley Bradshaw is the first person who has ever taken you seriously. He makes you feel superhuman, like there is never any problem you can't solve. His smile still has butterflies taking flight in thick, cloying swarms in your stomach. He makes you laugh, and god when he kisses you? You feel radiant, like one word will have you taking off faster than an F-18.
A part of you can’t believe him, even now. He hadn't laughed when you'd told him how inexperienced you were, in truth, what you wanted him to give you for your first time.
“Fuck, sweetheart.” He'd groaned into your ear, “Just let me make you feel good, on your terms, as fast or slow as you want me to be.”
You know what he's offering. As fast or slow as you want me to be is his way of telling you to take your time. But you're sure you will explode if you have to make out with Bradley Bradshaw again while rubbing a wet patch into the thigh of his jeans, while his fingers massage over your nipples and his tongue tangles languidly with yours.
You’ve had sex with him before, the sweet, gentle missionary kind. In fact, you’d argue that it was the perfect way to lose your virginity. But you can’t help but wonder if there isn’t more to sex with a man you love than a few slow moments in bed. You’re not even sure you orgasmed that night, or at least, it never felt like how you’ve made yourself climax. But ever since then, he’s kept you at arm's length. Sex was supposed to be the last step before all of the walls came down between the two of you. Maybe you can finally get Bradley to give you what you want, then? If only this date weren’t starting at The Hard Deck, though if you think back, most of yours do. It’s not like the Hard Deck isn’t a nice bar - it is. But The Hard Deck isn’t the most romantic of venues.
When you drive up to the Hard Deck in your little car at promptly six in the evening, you’re dressed to the nines, wearing a cute little sundress with a flared skirt and fitted bodice. It pushes your tits up and is nearly completely backless. You’re not wearing much under the dress, just a little lace-edged thong and strappy heels elevating you a few inches. Stepping through the door, it seems like the entire bar falls silent. For several long moments, all you can hear is the tapping of your heels against the floor. People seem to float out of your way as you greet Penny, grabbing your drink from her, a soda in a glass bottle dripping condensation, and walk towards the pool tables in the back of the bar.
Heads turn as you walk past, and you can feel a smug smile curl your lips. On any other night, the arrangement of the Daggers around the pool table would have been normal. You’d be joining them by now, taking your place next to Bradley to hang besottedly on his every word. You’d be the only one not in uniform.
Tonight, there isn’t a uniform in sight. Tonight, you’re dressed to impress. But you’re not dressed to impress the other Daggers, only Bradley. You hope your sexy little dress will be enough to have the romantic moment you’ve been longing for, finally. All your boyfriend needs to do is turn around and see you.
Nat and Bob confer in hushed tones as Bradley racks up against the pool table with the cue in his hand. He’s wearing those jeans that you adore, the pair that fits like a glove and with fabric so worn that it’s soft against your hands. Hangman and Coyote are on the other side of the pool table, identical frowns on their faces as they strategize over the configuration of the balls on the worn felt emblazoned with jets.
But it’s Hangman who sees you first with a clattering of his cue as it impacts the floor. His eyes bug out, mouth parting as his eyes rake over you from head to toe. His reaction causes silence to ripple outwards with him at its epicenter. Dagger after Dagger pauses to stare at you. It’s a gratifying feeling. Nat and Callie wink at you, and Nat carefully prods a pink-cheeked Bob into resuming their conversation. The only person arrayed around the pool tables who doesn’t seem to know you’re there is the man you dressed up for. Jake is nearly mute as you clack forward, sipping on your drink greedily because something about his gaze has you feeling hot and flushed. The only time he backs off is when Bradley seems to realize you’re right there.
“Fuck, baby.” Your boyfriend groans in your ears. His voice makes your skin flare hot, and a desperate ache starts between your legs. “Look at you all pretty and gorgeous for me. Let me finish this last round, and then I’m all yours.”
One round turns to two, and then three, and before long, you’re left all alone in a corner of the bar while the Daggers, including Bradley, party like you don’t exist. All of that effort to make it a romantic night, and you’re sitting here like you don’t exist. If you have to watch another badge bunny drape herself all over your boyfriend, you are going to scream or do something drastic. Maybe making out with Jake will get his attention.
“It’s a shame, you know?” You nearly topple off of your stool at the words emanating from next to you. “You look so pretty, Bitsie, and Bradshaw can’t even open his eyes to see his girl waiting for him.”
Hangman sounds so sure of you, so sure that you’re better than Bradley Bradshaw deserves.
“He just wanted to grab another drink.”
“That was three hours ago, Bits.” When Jake chuckles, you can feel your hackles raise. “Didn’t you have dinner reservations or something like that?”
Before you can respond, because yeah, you did, Bradley’s standing there.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Bagman?” Bradley is slurring his words, listing from side to side as he stares the other man down.
“She’s mine, Bagman. Don’t you forget it!”
“If she’s yours, why are you ignoring her and walking around with badge bunnies draped all over ya?”
You can tell by how red Bradley’s face gets that he is one more word from launching himself at Jake. You’re unsure what prompts you to step in, but you do, sliding your hand up to the sweaty curls at the base of your boyfriend’s neck and whispering into his ear. You breathe your need, your want for him, into his ears. You have to ignore the scent of alcohol and sweat wafting sour from his skin, but you succeed in grabbing his attention.
But a part of you wishes your seductive ploy hadn’t.
You got your wish; your need to have sex with your boyfriend granted. But it’s not anything like you expected it to be. Bradley left bruises on your skin and bruises on your heart. He’d been rough with his touch and his words. But more than that, you can’t help but wonder if this would have happened with Jake. If he’d make you feel better than Bradley ever could. Isn’t sex supposed to feel good?
Faced with Bradley’s fumbling, you’d been anything but wet between your legs. You’d only started to get there when you thought, selfishly, of Jake. There was no foreplay, no making sure you’re alright. No kissing, no touching. There were no hallmarks of any of the care and gentleness Bradley usually treats you with. The whole experience has you feeling worse than you did in the car as he called you a slut for talking to a colleague and friend. Slut. It’s a word he’d used often with you in bed that night, too. A word that makes you feel guilty, dirty, and disgusting all at once.
What does it say about you that you had to think of a colleague and friend to get wet instead of your boyfriend?
Whether you realize it or not, that’s the first crack in the shaky, perhaps already crumbling, foundations of your relationship with Bradley Bradshaw.
5. After Bradley Bradshaw
You have work to do; you know you do. But it’s been under a day since you told Jake Seresin how your relationship with Bradley Bradshaw imploded easier than if it had been bombed. Realizing Nat had known, known what he did and condoned the betrayal, his cheating, is another stab to the back that you weren’t expecting. You can't believe how Bradley could harbor less remorse and guilt over having sex with Britney than you did over some harmless, practically meaningless flirting.
What happened to ‘sisters before misters’ and all sentiments to that effect? You’re thankful, truly thankful, that Jake didn’t know and that Mickey and Mara were unaware as well. Being so far away from North Island has given you a sense of clarity you never thought you were missing.
You’d be lying if you said Jake Seresin doesn’t have something to do with your newfound clarity, too.
One night, a bushel-load of tears and an unburdening of your heart, and he’s already raised himself in your esteems. It’s in how he’d listened to you, which has your thoughts spinning. Back when your relationship with Bradley was still rock solid, you'd thought Bradley was the only man who could make you feel like the most important person in the world. But you didn't realize how often Bradley’s eyes would glaze over when you got excited. You’re not sure you’ve ever been able actually to talk to your ex.
Jake let you cry, cry like you’d lost your reason for living. He’d held you while your suppressed grief had unleashed. He’d heard you spill your heart out to him and release all of your pain into the squalling storm winds. Then there was the rage in his face, in his voice, the rage he’d held tightly coiled in the corded muscles of his arm, in the jut of his proud jaw, when he found out Bradley had broken you, dominated your spirit, for a bet.
You’re not sure why he’s been so nice. He has nothing to gain by being kind to you. He didn’t when he wanted to get you off deck in the middle of the storm last night. Though uncharitably, you’re sure he’d likely wanted you off deck so he could get off deck himself. He didn’t have to make you a cup of coffee or raid his own special stash of granola bars, either. But more than anything, you’d love to know why he let you cry snot and tears all over his uniform when it was well past lights out. You keep thinking back to how it felt to be in his arms, how good it felt.
Unbidden, you pull out the paper Jake had handed you while you were eating lunch in the commissary with Mara and Mickey. It’s nothing special, just a note written in ballpoint pen on run-of-the-mill lined notebook paper. The paper is silky smooth against the pads of your fingers, the edges ragged like he’d ripped the page out of a notebook he had lying around. You can feel the indentations the pen had left on the other side of the page. You can see how the letters slur across the page as he’d written, the ink smudging imperceptibly as he wrote hastily. They’re just lyrics transcribed on the page, and they shouldn’t be thought-provoking.
It’s from a song you’ve heard a thousand times before, played ad nauseam on the radio with a catchy tune getting stuck in your head. More than the song lyrics, it’s the thought behind those lyrics. Honestly, you’re not sure how he got them for you. He called his sister in the middle of the night when he likely had to get special permission to do so just so he could get some stupid lyrics for you.
You can still see the twinkle in his eyes as he blushed crimson. He’d seemed proud, proud he was the reason for your laughter, proud that he’d pulled the wool from your eyes and showed you how ill Bradley had actually treated you. That look on his face made you feel like levitating.
You can’t deny it anymore. Bradley Bradshaw may have made butterflies swarm in your stomach, but Jake Seresin made you feel like lightning arcing through the air. He makes you feel wild and free.
+1. The Day Easton is Born
A part of you feels like you should be angry that it took only four years before you stopped being the sole item of your husband’s attention. But you’d be lying if you didn’t feel the same way that Jake did, especially because the cute little thing that’s caught his attention has caught yours, too.
He’s about four hours old with squishy cheeks, a red face, and a voice that would make his daddy proud. You’re sure that his voice is just like his dad’s, but you can’t say you’ve ever heard Jake’s voice ever hit the octaves this adorable sweetheart hits. It hurts a little bit that you’ve been ordered not to move, too, because everything in you is itching to pick your baby up and hold him in your arms. But Jake’s on baby duty at the moment. If it’s a poopy diaper, you’re more than ready to let him take that burden on.
You tilt the bed up until you’re reclining and tip your head gently to the side until you see the heart rate monitor reassuringly blinking your vital signs at you. When you turn your head to the other side, Jake's standing over the small changing table in your room, leaning down and looking into it. His face looks gentler than you've ever seen it, soft, like a man stripped bare to his basest parts. He has no walls up, no fears, just wonder as he stares down at the little bed. Well, maybe he’s looking a little less awestruck and a little more disgusted because your newborn son does, indeed, have a soiled diaper.
He’s not wearing a shirt. This fact doesn't surprise you because Jake wanders around your house half-naked all the time. At the same time, you’re both in a hospital, and it’s at least 10 degrees colder than it should be. You’re wrapped up in a soft pajama set and wearing a thick cardigan, but you’re still cold. When Jake hefts the small wriggling body of your son into his arms and settles him against his chest, now clean, your heart swells. The baby coos, a little snuffling exhale of breath that squeaks a little as he settles into Jake’s arms. Jake doesn’t seem to realize that you’re awake, either.
“Awww, hey, Buddy.” His voice is a tender rumble, big hands cradling precious cargo with the same surety he flies his jet. “Let’s not wake up Mama, huh? She’s so tired.”
“You took us by surprise, our sweet boy. We weren’t expecting you to show up in the middle of a Longhorns game, for sure. I will say that your arrival was a little more exciting than a game-winning touchdown. I wonder if your Uncle Javy will let Daddy watch the game on his DVR when you’re home? In any case, I do not look forward to replacing my Longhorns rug. You had to pick that rug to make your appearance on, didn’t you? Say, East, what’s the likelihood that your Mama would let me keep it if I wash it off?”
You have to stifle your snickers because the baby chirps and half burps in response. You can vaguely see the dark blue of the baby’s eyes as he blinks in Jake’s firm hold. East’s lips purse and part, and you know it’s only a matter of time before you’ll be in need again. But you’re so in love, and hearing Jake talk to your son might be your newest favorite thing.
“Yeah, I had that feeling. You’ll learn sooner or later that your Mama’s words are law. She’s going to be the disciplinarian between the two of us, for sure. You’re already wrapped around my fingers. I’m not sure I could tell you no for anything.”
He sighs, sounding choked up as he trails a finger down the baby’s soft cheek. “I’ve got so much I want to teach you. How to smile and utilize those perfect Seresin dimples. How to talk your way out of any problem you face. How to make your Mama smile (and maybe cry) every Mother’s Day as we show her how amazing she is.”
He presses a soft kiss to the top of the baby’s head and rocks slightly back and forth on his heels, an action that doesn’t soothe your son even a little. East is squalling already, and you have a feeling he will ratchet up a bit higher in volume if he doesn’t get what he wants.
“Hey, Cowboy.” Your voice is soft as you get Jake’s attention.
“Morning, Bitsie-baby.” His smile is wide as he stares down at you.
“There’s no way it’s morning, Jake.” He shrugs and rocks back and forth a little more as the baby objects a little louder with each sway. “And gimme my son.”
Jake smirked as he transferred the baby, eyes softening as you situated East against your chest, snickering as the baby latched hungrily onto your breast for his midnight snack.
“So he’s your son when you want him, but he’s mine when he’s got a nasty diaper?”
“Sounds about right, Seresin.”
“Well, he’s a Seresin, alright.” Jake snickers when you swat at his abs. “Made right for your tits, and aren’t they a pretty sight.”
“Not in front of the baby, Jacob.”
“Well, I dunno when I’m going to see them again one on one!”
“Try me when East’s two years old. Because I’m going to need that long to recover from having your big-headed child.” Your voice is as dry as the Sahara Desert as you laugh at your husband.
“Fair enough.” He tucks a wild strand of hair behind your ear and settles on the edge of the hospital bed. You snuggle into his side as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today?”
“I’ll take beautiful over the complete mess I probably am.”
“You look gorgeous, Bitsie!”
You snort. “Jake, I haven’t showered in 48 hours, I was in labor for most of it, and I just had a baby. So what about me looks beautiful to you at this moment?”
“Everything.” He presses a gentle kiss to your temple. “You’ve given me the best things in my life. You gave me your heart and a second chance with you. You gave me a family in you and our little Easton. You’ve changed my life.”
“If I didn’t find you gorgeous because of all of our relationship, then I’d definitely argue it is the memory of the lingerie you were wearing under your dress at last year's Navy Gala.”
“I think that lingerie was pretty life-changing for both of us, Cowboy.” You cradle Easton close and gesture for one of the many burp cloths arrayed on the table on Jake’s other side. “I’m about 90% sure that was the night we made East.” You pat the baby’s bottom gently, grimacing when he lets loose a surprisingly loud belch before cooing angelically. “Well, you certainly burp like your dad, don’t you?”
“Hey!” Jake tugs the baby out of your arms, swaying side to side as the baby’s eyes droop closed. He snuggles East close before laying him into the crib. You watch approvingly as he pulls the crib closer, the same worries about your newborn son in his mind as yours. “I’ll have you know, kiddo, that your mama loves my burps.”
“Don’t lie to our son. He’s not even a day old, Seresin, and you’re already lying to him!”
“Am I lying if I’m telling him the truth? His mama does love me.” You wrap your arms around his waist as he settles back into the hospital bed next to you.
“Yeah, she does.” You kiss his torso, nuzzling in close as he holds you close.
“I love you so much, Jake. I fell in love with you a long time ago, and I’m not likely to stop now. Having this,” you gesture to the hospital room at large, “is better than my best dreams. Though, I would prefer it if you could convince your mom and sister to let us have some time with East alone before they descend on us.”
“You got it, beautiful.” He runs his hands gently up and down your back. God, you're not sure you can give him up, not anymore. Right now, you're pretty sure that if Jake gets out of the hospital bed, you'll freeze solid.
“You were always my dream, Bitsie baby. Forever and always.” You barely hear the words, sleep pulling you under riptide-fast. But a part of you knows Jake doesn't mind. It's always been a not-so-secret fantasy of his, having his family at arm's reach.
Honestly, you could get used to it too. Your Jake Seresin pillow is the best of the best, after all.
I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN ON AO3, ON WATTPAD, OR ON TUMBLR BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN AO3, ON WATTPAD, OR TUMBLR, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.
Taglist:
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#star writes#you play stupid games you win stupid prizes#top gun fanfic#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfic#top gun maverick fanfiction#hangman x reader#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake seresin x reader#past rooster x reader#past bradley bradshaw x reader#past bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#rooster is a dick#he's not the greatest in this#top gun imagine#top gun angst
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it's me, hi!
Hello everyone! it's me - randomdragonfires/sam and this is my new blog!
This is a note for anyone who remembers me - hello, I'm back here, I suppose! First off, I'm going to say this: I'm genuinely sorry to those whom I worried while I took off without saying a word. I was gone a whole month and I left no way to be contacted. I can understand how that could worry those of you who cared, and I should have acted better.
I left for a bit simply because I needed to catch a breath. Writing started to seem a bit like a chore, and there was too much about the fandom that made me sad, frustrated, angry and petty each time I opened my feed. I was not writing and I was not a happy participant - there was very little reason for me to stay and make myself miserable, when I could have been clearing my head, giving myself space and falling in love with writing for fandom all over again.
Which is what I've been doing in the past month.
Deleting my tumblr and discord was not a decision I made impulsively. I had been considering it for weeks, and I am glad I did. Now, after a clean long break, I've come back with a much more healthier relationship with this blog and the fandom, and I'm genuinely in a better space. I look forward to writing and posting here again too.
I've missed it so much more than you know.
that's great, Sam! so, how have you been?
It's good. It's bumpy and weird, but things are good. I hope they've been good for you guys too. <3
If this is your next question, then here it is!
I've been very busy. I work a 9-6 job as a creative writer 6 days a week and I also study for my executive masters program (in journalism and PR, if you're wondering) when I'm not working. I'm involved in a few freelance projects and when I'm not doing any of this, I prefer to read or sleep or go on fast hour-long walks; simply because it all keeps me away from my electronics. I'm constantly drained creatively, and it sucks - but I'm also engaged 24x7, learning something new and doing productive things.
will you be writing again?
If this is something that you're wondering about, then yes. I do plan on writing. I am starting a series that I am trying to pour my entire soul into - but it is going slowly. Like I mentioned, I have a tight schedule and it keeps me busy every second of the day, so I write when I can.
I plan on announcing my new series with a story masterpost anytime now. If you're interested, perhaps you should keep an eye on this space!
I will also be reuploading a selected collection of some of my work from my old blog - so if you'd like to give those a revisit, then feel free to!
that's it from me!
I'm happy to be back in the thick of things, and I hope that, to some extent, you're glad to see me back too. I'm here to be a positive, non-problematic presence that writes good fic, supports other artists, and is happy about it. Negativity in excess had me step away once, and I hope I'll never have to do that again.
Let's all be kinder, or at least try. :)
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On the MSATD News
I didn't have time to post a knee-jerk reaction (which those of you from the Downton days know I was apt to do - thank you to all my long term mutuals of my side blog for sticking with me through those days), as I saw the news as I was getting ready to head out for work and it's been… a bit of a day.
Suffice it to say… I am devastated. And my initial reaction was (well after cursing), that it should have ended with S4, but with a different (happier) conclusion. It's called Miss Scarlet AND THE DUKE for a reason. And after all that happened in S4… it really feels like… what was it all for?? Especially if they knew WHEN FILMING THIS?? "Goodbye for now" is NOT "goodbye forever." They really, really really fumbled this.
There's a lot of theories going around, and I will admit it's too hard for me to listen to Stuart's new interview, but going off what other's have said and the parts of the transcript I did manage to read… I just cannot feel like this was actually his decision unless there's something else going on with him (either in his personal life or maybe he has some secret role he's got, because supposedly he hasn't worked since he did ADR on S4). He's been the captain of the ship, and he has always been enthusiastic with discussing the show and had just great insight into playing William. It doesn't feel like he himself was ready to move onto other things (and that's not even how it's worded - some BS about how the show needed it him to be gone for ~longevity~ of the show), like I've seen with other actors are on shows (e.g. Dan Stevens). He still promoted S3 (which came out in the UK after they filmed S4), he still even promoted S4! He was an executive producer for S4!!! Nothing makes sense!
So if it's due to RN… why keep having the other characters say William was only going to be gone a year? Why bother to have the flashback? why bother to have him stay at at Eliza's to recover?? hell I'm surprised they just didn't keep in the coma then--
But really, why even bother to have Eliza write to him? Or have Ivy say what she said to her?? The time apart was supposed to be them looking at their options. They literally foreshadowed him joining Eliza at her agency upon his return. So… what happened?
If it was actually for personal reasons that Stuart left, he has a right to his privacy. But then they should have rewritten S4 to be the end then, since they knew all this time. I can't believe we are getting the full story on this, one way or the other. The more and more I think about it... I do think it was RN's doing though.
Just two nights ago I drafted up a whole meta extolling how one of the best things this show has done has been how they developed William and how he grew as a character. The progression he made as he not only accepted Eliza having a career but encouraging her. His mentorship of Fitzroy. How he came from nothing, from a teenager living on the streets, to become an inspector at Scotland Yard. But they have chosen to toss that all out the window.
Who knows, maybe S5 ends with Eliza deciding to go to New York. But it doesn't seem like they are handling this like Babington's absence in Sanditon. They will make Eliza quickly fall for someone else, and slap fans in the face who have been following their friends to lovers slow burn for five years (because we had to wait for S2 in the first place thanks to the pandemic). And what sucks is that we still got promo saying they are in love with each other. From Stuart, from Kate, from Rachael New herself. We have still gotten promo promoting the romance. Why not have them have a big fight then or something, idk. They gave us hope. And you know what Fellowes says about false hope.
So I'm just supposed to believe that William gives up on Eliza and doesn't return…? No, I cannot. As much as we hated the deaths on DA when they wrote out actors, at least those characters still died in love with their spouses. And while I'd still be foaming at the mouth in anger if they killed him off… yeah.
William's last lines of the show is a flashback including him saying "is it all worth it?" And the answer is… no it's not.
#yeah I'm risking putting this in the tag#miss scarlet and the duke#msatd spoilers#honestly thinking about every damn scene they ever had#WHAT WAS IT ALL FOR#thought of the jewelry store scene and died#also does this make Arabella right? gross.#also I guess Alibi doesn't give a shit about the ratings for the last two episodes left to air in the UK#also I didn't bring up Theo J*mes because he left after S1 and it was different#if they recast William with Ben Lloyd-Hughes I'd take it#(wouldn't be the same but you know)#but don't make him a new character it doesn't work here with William still alive#I'm tired of men going to America#iykyk
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The King's Gambit: Contracts (Teaser 1)
pairing; joshua hong x female reader
genre; smut, angst, fluff, slow burn (there may be changes to this once the full fic is posted to tumblr upon completion)
warnings; mentions of a contract, BDSM contract, mention of punishment (spanking) -- there will be other warnings listed on the final fic upon completion
w/c; 510 and some change for this teaser
The King's Gambit Collab masterlist & taglist
a/n; this is just a small teaser for The King's Gambit: Contracts -- there is no completion date set at this time, so please be patient with me. I am currently sitting at 31k and have plenty of story left to write. this will be a very long story so there may be other teasers posted here on Tumblr but I know I will be posting other teasers and behind the scene things on Patreon. if you would like more there is a longer teaser already available for my peaches (subscribers).
please consider supporting me read how to do that here
Because of his phone call, Joshua was running late. He still looked fine but he had skipped breakfast after a pretty intense workout, and he was running on spite. Barely glancing at his assistant the man furrows his brows at the way Jeonghan is leaning against her desk.
“Jeonghan, I don’t have all fucking day.”
A smirk crosses the lawyer’s face before he offers a wink to the assistant causing her to scoff and roll her eyes going back to her work as Jeonghan follows Joshua into his office closing the door.
“No need to be so damn grumpy, Shua. I was here on time, you are the one who is late.”
Sitting down behind his desk, Joshua meets his friend’s eyes only to glare briefly. He wanted to tell him that he had no fucking idea what he was dealing with at the moment but there was no way he was going to tell him. There was no way he could tell him or Seungcheol about the conversation with his father or the Hyong merger right now. He had to figure his shit out.
“I’m not in the mood, I was hoping you’d be here with some good news. My new contract?”
Extending his hand, Joshua expects to be offered a signed, sealed, and delivered contract but instead, Jeonghan hands him something he had never seen in all of his years of rotating contracts. Turning the pages with obvious frustration, Joshua scoffs loudly before glancing around the contract to look at Jeonghan incredulously.
“She can’t be serious?”
“Oh, that’s fun. That’s what she said too when I first gave her the contract to look over.”
Joshua wasn’t finding the same amusement that his best friend was. He was looking at all of your changes as if they were slaps to his face.
“I won’t accept some of these. She’s just trying to see how far she can push me.”
Sucking on his teeth, Joshua leans to pick up a pen with blue ink leaning over his desk to start making his own changes to yours.
“She marked through cockiness? That isn’t something she thinks I can punish for? God, what a fucking brat. Fine, Y/N…have it your way.”
Jeonghan shakes his head, a sigh on his lips as he watches Joshua mutter to himself. The pen in the man’s hand moves over the papers making small but distinct changes before Joshua pushes it back across the desk to his friend.
Picking up the contract, Jeonghan crosses his leg over his knee reading under his breath before smirking and raising his brow at Joshua.
“You replaced cockiness with bratty behavior?”
Joshua only nods, lifting his hand to run his fingers through his hair clearly flustered by the morning.
“Finish it today. Pull her from whatever she’s doing and see if it fits her high standards. She makes my palm itch.”
Jeonghan laughs, moving to his feet as he folds the contract back up, slipping it into his bag as he speaks.
“Well luckily for you, spanking wasn’t one of the punishments that she crossed out.”
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
#joshua smut#seventeen smut#svthub#svt smut#joshua angst#seventeen angst#svt angst#the kings gambit contracts#the kings gambit#seventeen x reader#joshua x reader#svt x reader
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Oh that sucks well. Technically, you r being productive by talking to people. Also, I'm new to writing fanfic, and I'm worried about upsetting anyone, especially onyx. As I want to ask onyx questions about lore and others about their ocs, but I don't want to bother anyone and asks get lost easily or people don't have ask open. So any advice
'm not a expert in all the social thing stuff, but i think the first right step to work with other stories/ocs is asking them directly for permmission via dm, and asking for input there.
yeah you don't want to bother anyone, but i personally believe is better ask first for permmision and ideas from the source, 'cause yeah i may give you all permmission to use Sunny and Lizzy in riders related stuff, BUT that between the lines of their characters.
Yeah you can draw/write Sunny getting shy at someone flirting with him, that in character. No, you can't draw/write Sunny flirting back/been interesed in someone, any relationship for him/with him need to be talked with me (i would gladly talk about how Sunny would interact with a new friend or even to someone having a crush on him, just ask me about it).
The same with Lizzy, 'm slowly showing her story, so there not a lot to share of her, that why i hadn't make canon all interactions of her with other ocs (the only one i had accepted is the one with Asahi, 'cause even some fanarts with North crew could fall into noncanon territory due the final 'm looking to give her). So you can use her, but most probably it going to be a non-canon interaction, since 'm trying to piece her story right.
NOW that on me! Other users could be less strict with their ocs, and others be more strict, but that why is important to ask first!
And about Onyx, they seems really nice to interact with as an audience, they probably have asks closed for the same reason i sometimes stop answer to asks: spams and uncomfortable asks tend to invade our kind of blogs. That make it hard for us to interact in a comfortable way with our audience, but that doesn't mean we don't want to interact with them! you just need to look for a right way to approach them, been by a comment in the right post, or directly send them a dm asking if you could make them some questions related to their au (this option AFTER you make sure you looked at all their posts and confirmed that the info you're looking for isn't in there, this show you already made your work into learning about the project), sure, maybe some things Onyx wouldn't be able to share 'cause it could be spoiler, and that's okay, you can work with that idea once the oficial info get out, or work with hcs (like i did with Lizzy in the beggining, were i hc that the cult used poppy flowers for the red smoke like in the original game, later Onyx confirmed that, but if they would end up denied it, i would had to change my hc, 'cause i decided to take the risk on it.)
conclution? send via dm a simple ''hello! i wanted to know something about your character/au/story, is okay for me to ask?'' or a variation of it if you want to use others's ocs for your fanfic, and if you have any doubts about how a characters is going to act in x situation, is better to directly ask the owner of the character that risk making the character OOC.
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As Swindle comes off of hiatus, I (Artsy) would just like to say a few things.
I firstly just want to say a big personal thank you to everyone who’s been so patient during this hiatus. I’ve been dealing with a lot over the months that this comic hasn’t been updating and I’m still just keeping my head above water as it is. To those who are so empathetic, so kind, so understanding, thank you. You guys are a big reason why I continue working on this comic, and I am really excited for you to see where the story goes.
Lord knows that I’ve dedicated more than enough time complaining about the small but vocal group of people who have been rude - sometimes excessively so - to both Lolly and I as we work on this comic, and I’d like to not spend a terribly long time dwelling on it, here. I probably won’t mention if for a long while after this post. At the same time, it’s worth noting that we’ve done a lot to try to discourage and manage this behavior with... mixed results. We’ve blocked people for repeated rude behavior, we’ve banned people from our Discord server for rude behavior, we’ve closed our askbox during the hiatus, we’ve introduced an FAQ - and people have evaded being blocked by making throwaway accounts, and we’ve had an incident of an individual making a new Discord account to evade a ban, and people don’t read our FAQ. It’s all really frustrating.
I think, for now, at least, we’re going to only open our askbox to non-anons - though this won’t do too much to prevent throwaways, it’ll at least convolute the means through which people can harass us. So apologies to the shy but kind individuals who had been using anon peacefully, maybe sometime we’ll open it back up again.
Additionally, I’ll like to just once again ask for anyone who hasn’t to check out FAQ, please. It’s in our pinned post for a reason.
Somewhat related to that - mostly that it’s something that’s been covered in the FAQ, is that I’ve noticed an increasing number of people who have been saying they discovered the comic via re-uploads on tiktok and pintrest.
And. Wow. That hurts. It hurts to know, to think about. I know it’s inevitable, trust me, I know this is just the inevitable result of posting anything on the internet, but god, it sucks.
I don’t know how many of you following this blog are artists, but it’s a big long topic that I don’t really have the space or patience to lay out for all of you in this post - this is art theft. We do not allow, we say it right in our FAQ point-blank, we do not allow people to reupload the comic elsewhere. Dubs are fine, again, we’ve covered this, they’re transformative, they offer an experience unique to just reading the comic. But un-voiced reuploads that do nothing but present the comic in a slideshow? That’s stealing. It’s hurtful, and it’s wrong. Both Lolly and I have dealt many times with our work being stolen and we’ve made our stances on reuploads of our work pretty clear on our own blogs.
Please, if you see someone doing this, report them. The only “official” accounts for the comic are this blog and our promotional Instagram page, swindle.comic. If an account is uploading the comic, un-dubbed, they do no have permission to do so, and they need to be reported.
I really don’t expect this to be the last time I have to say something like this or about this, because I know that this comic is going to take a long time to complete and so we’ll always have newcomers who can’t reasonably be asked to sift through the entire blog for posts like these. But for now, I hope it helps keep the interaction with this comic more respectful. I don’t think the people who do this stuff even realize that their behavior literally makes this comic more draining to work on than it should be (which leads to more burnout and hiatuses) - or I wouldn’t be making posts like this at all, because if they did know, they therefore wouldn’t care, and telling them would be pointless. So I hope this serves as a decent reminder that we’re human beings, and we and our work deserves to be respected.
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no time at all!-- PILOT
Welcome Home + reader
warnings: derealisation, could cause paranoia, not proofread lmao
notes: so here's the first little drabble of the story I'd mentioned earlier! I'm not new at all to writing, but please keep in mind this is the first story I've posted to Tumblr, so the formatting could suck really bad.
I have SO many ideas for what I want to continue this with, please tell me if you want to see more. thanks for reading!! please please please rb if you're able :3
part 2 is posted!
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The sounds of the coffee shop around you filled the room; the everyday hustle and bustle of footsteps, casual chatter, and the clinking of porcelain cups were a familiar comfort, and god knows you needed it right now.
The face of the website you'd had open for several days now stared at you (through you?), the direct eye contact of the cartoon puppet mascots making you squirm in your seat.
Welcome Home! It said in bright pastel letters and a font you didn't recognize, though it sparked a deep sense of nostalgia in you; the whole concept did. In fact, that was the whole reason you’d found yourself falling down this rabbit hole of researching, trying any kind of letter combinations in the web address, scrolling through every page you could access with all the text highlighted.
You knew the secrets: the hidden messages, the png title responses in the guestbook, the audio mp4… and it thrilled you.
You hadn't grown up watching the infamous puppet show, of course, you doubt anyone has. Hell, part of you agreed with the people saying it didn't ever exist and all of this was just some online creepy pasta goosechase. Even though, it was so fun to play along, right? To be part of the community, or to be part of the joke, it didn't matter at the end of the day.
Whatever circumstances brought you to wherever you were mentally, and here to this cafe physically, this puppet show had you wrapped around its finger; you didn't really know if you loved the mascots, with their fun, bright designs and their bubbly personalities; something akin to what you'd grown up with, like you'd known them your entire life– or if they terrified you. The same traits that had made them so endearing made them so devoid of life, so lonely and cold when you’d think about it too long. Made to be loved by an audience just to be erased from history entirely- all to be excavated now, alongside these grotesque secrets and mysteries… like it was hidden for a reason. (Exciting, right?)
You scrolled absent-mindedly through the Neighborhood page, looking through all the biographies of the characters, picking apart the text in any ways you could, though you can only command-all and highlight for so long before it’s just a desperate attempt made in vain.
you already knew all the secrets
Home is where the heart is and Welcome Home's residents are the heart of the neighborhood. Even if you don't live there, you're still one of its most important denizens! But don't worry, with the help of this colorful array of neighbors, it'll feel just like home in no time at all!
Yeah, yeah, whatever, they love me.
What used to put a pit in your stomach didn't really do all too much now. The immersiveness wears off after a while. It used to fill you with questions: “am i important to them as the viewer? Are they sentient enough to understand? If they are… how do they feel about it? About me?”
Losing yourself in the story was easy initially, but the meandering possibilities became meaningless prompts. It was just a slogan now.
Your cursor hovers over the titular Home, a second delay in hesitation. Even if nothing else sent a chill down your spine, Home would never fail to unnerve you.
You click.
You're greeted by Wally, the PNG of him painting, the one you see plastered over every blog or post regarding Welcome Home. it was silly of you to expect anything else.
You felt yourself ease back into your chair; there aren't any more secrets to discover until the website is next updated.
As you half-heartedly scroll to click on the Good Bye!, a mystery in itself, you saw it.
Wally’s eyes had just followed your mouse, even by just half an inch, you Swear To God you saw them move.
An overwhelming tremor of sudden panic took over your body; you felt your heart fall deep into your stomach. With a loud thunk, you slammed your laptop closed. You felt the stares of concern burn into your back from the other patrons of the coffee shop, but you didn't care. Hoisting yourself up, laptop in tow, you hurry out through the door, only the greeting bell breaking the apprehensive silence youd left behind you.
Its nothing, you were just staring too long,
you'd thought, though partially drowned out by the sound of your footsteps and the deafening beating of your heart.
Of course you got freaked out, you were looking to be scared, so you came up with something to be scared of. That's all it is; made up.
It didn't really happen.
You had to tell yourself this several times as you walked to your car, trying to shake the image out of your head.
It's not real.
#welcome home#welcome home fanfic#welcome home x reader#wally darling x reader#wally darling#welcome home arg#no time at all!
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Your blog is a literal god send for me, I’ve been feeling so depressed, pessimistic, nihilistic and cynical at the state of the world right now and my fear of if I even have a future, but your blog is absolutely what I needed right now, so I can’t thank you enough. I’m just so happy to see someone who is hopeful and positive and not pessimistic, and it makes me legit want to cry tears of joy. How are you able to stay so positive and optimistic despite everything going on?
<3 <3 <3
As for how I stay optimistic and relatively positive? Lots of effort and hard work.
I'm not naturally an optimist. I spent most of my life (and certainly my adolescence lol) being pretty angry and cynical.
It's not that I never feel depressed or despairing about the state of the world. There's fucked up shit happening, indisputably, and hey, I'm trans, it's been a rough fucking year for that. But I guess I try to focus on the difference between passing moods and baseline worldview.
Some of the main ways I moved my baseline worldview to be optimistic and hopeful:
A lot of reading and looking at data and in-depth stories. The headlines never give you enough of the story - hell, most news articles don't these days, because they're so skewed toward negative news
Especially reading/looking at good news sites (I have a masterpost of good news sites here). There are good things happening everywhere that you never hear about. Mostly, you only ever hear about the good things when there's been a huge setback, which sucks!
I'm basically not on social media. Nothing except Tumblr, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and I only ever go on FB and linkedin briefly for business. It's fantastic, can't recommend ditching social media enough
I made sure I was doing something to help (aka I started this blog. I would also volunteer but my disabilities and a lot of logistics make that complicated)
My job involves reading a couple dozen self-help books a year lol, not gonna lie that def helps
Taking a long perspective of time. It often doesn't feel like it, but statistically, this really is the best time to be alive. (Here's a fantastic essay about many of the reasons why.) People really gloss over how much most of the past kinda fucking sucked to live in. 50% of all people used to die before their 15th birthday, for basically all of history until the past 200 years!! Imagine having to live with that. Imagine all of that pain and grief literally everywhere. I'm really happy about living in modern times, actually!
That last point is esp helpful to remember for me because I'm 100% for sure on the list of "people who would've died in childbirth" pre modern medicine (and my mom would've died having me, too). It was modern times or nothing lol
The vast majority of the world has spent the past 300 to 500 years being absolutely brutalized by white people and/or the West. There's still a lot of fallout to fix and colonialism to uproot, but I genuinely can't wait to see what people and nations will achieve with sustained self-rule and significantly fewer massive atrocities
Solarpunk and hopepunk stuff
I'm gonna make a whole post about this at some point but the fact that we eliminated scarcity in the past few decades actually changes the entire fucking game for the world (literally it's not a zero sum game anymore) and for the future. We're allowed a bit of a learning curve I think
I listen to the Rent soundtrack a lot and go "well you know what being trans right now sucks but being trans at the height of the aids crisis would've been way fucking worse" lol rip
Meds! Meds. Antidepressants and antianxiety meds unfortunately don't work for everyone (yet!), but also thank fuck for meds
Progress almost always happens in slow, tiny increments, with a lot of stops and starts and setbacks. You have to always remember that there are always people fighting somewhere, and if they're stopped, there will always be more people to pick up the fight in the future
#thesingingtennisball#ask#me#advice#hope#hope posting#hopeposting#not news#also tbh I highly recommend a basic understanding of statistics#and the ability to parse the basics of many academic papers#whenever I see a scary headline about some new study I check out the actual study and 90% of the time I end up going#“oh that's not that bad actually”#progress happens in tiny tiny i
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Kind of want to write about...
—༺♔༻—༺♕༻—༺♘༻—
♚King Erwin and ♛Queen Reader have been together ruling for some time. As usual history, the king seeks affairs and luckily doesn't cause a scandal by seeking outside of the royal court. The queen stays reserved and quiet about it, not seeing a point in arguing with something that she cannot change, sometimes it hurts more to lose your status than to not have any to begin with. Until she meets the newly appointed ♞knight that Erwin seems infatuated with, Levi.
Levi and the Queen have some meetings, he's not her personal guard but he's someone Erwin trusts the most for reasons no one in the castle knows. Levi and the Queen intrigue each other. He may have low expectations for her character, as he does with anyone from high society but she was chosen as Queen for a reason.
Unfortunately, it's time for Erwin and the Queen to try for an heir again, and she (self-deprecatingly) suggests bringing Levi into the bedroom to keep Erwin’s interest through the act. However, Levi ends up giving her a lot of attention, almost showing her off to the King, and the Queen learns new things about her husband through his and Levi’s dynamic as well as a newfound appreciation to be cherished and seen as herself.
It seems there are many things about the three of them that everyone has yet to learn.
_______________________________________
Masterlist
Note: I see this story as 70% story, 30% sexytime so I'm posting it on this blog instead of my side one. Also, I do not mean to insinuate that Erwin is a gay man who is being turned into liking women or anything (especially during pride month) Erwin is just infatuated with Levi and I can relate. Cheating sucks but in a monarchy, there's definitely tons on the King's plate as well as the shitty culture surrounding "a man's needs" and acceptance of affairs as an outlet. Finding Levi and Levi being more appreciative of the queen is for the better of all of them once they start working together. But def angst and miscommunication probably.
If anyone would like to write about this, feel free! I'd love to read it if you do so please tag me or let me know about it!
I've got a lot of things I'm working on right now along with life exhaustion so if this actually becomes part of my drafts, it'll definitely take a while.
#aot#attack on titan fanfic#attack on titan smut#attack on titan#snk#shingeki no kyojin#erwin x levi x reader#erwin x levi#levi x reader#levi x y/n#levi x you#levi x erwin#erwin x reader#erwin x you#erwin x y/n#erwin smith#levi attack on titan#levi#levi ackerman#royalty au#fantasy au#attack on titan au#alternate universe#king erwin smith#knight levi ackerman#fanfiction prompt#fanfiction inspiration#fanfic idea#fic prompt#prompts
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Hi! I suck at sending asks so I hope I don’t come off in any kind of bad way
I know you very briefly mentioned Van Helsing (2004) in one of your ‘Vampire vs Werewolf’ posts, but I wanted to know your thoughts on the werewolf designs in them. I was doing research for one of my characters, and I’m not really sure if drawing inspiration from their designs would fit/work with the actual folklore.
Maybe you could even list some of your favorite designs or good places to reference from, if you know any?
— House 🩵 (I love your blog so much it’s a literal godsend for Vamp and Wolf research)
Not at all a bad way; thank you for sending in an ask! And I'm so glad you enjoy the blog, thank you for the kind words! :D
I actually love the werewolf designs in Van Helsing, overall. They're very cool - they're big, scary, muscular, and wolfish (all traits I personally love), but they are also varied according to character...
This is concept art from the film. Notice how they all look like wolves and have a coherent common design while also having unique and characterized features and builds. I really love that. You may not have even noticed it a whole lot in the movie itself (I did, though), but it really makes them feel more like an individual turning into a monster instead of just someone turning into a standardized creature like a transform ability in a video game.
I'd say they're a good starting point for any werewolf concepts that want to go for the big wolfish humanoid look while still being scary and characterized!
Designing werewolves after folklore can be tricky and even odd, given folklore varied very widely and also wasn't always very specific. Most werewolves in folklore turn into wolves, which leaves a lot of room for interpretation. Some also had paws they used as hands (does that mean they had hands? etc) and other variations. Some even looked quite ridiculous and not even very wolfish, with things like a tufted lion tail and red hindquarters! It got wild in folklore.
Personally, I wouldn't restrict yourself to trying to stick too closely to folklore specifically. Design something cool, and most importantly, have fun with it and make it yours. My recommendation is just to stick with what you like and think looks cool and things that look wolfish in some way. Don't do like a lot of designers and tell yourself that a wolf is the last thing you should be drawing reference from; that's just silly. They're still werewolves. Granted, since you're interested in folklore and enjoy my blog, I doubt I need to say that, lol. I have other personal preferences, but at the end of the day, that's my advice to others.
My advice might also sound a little bit canned, but that's how I feel. My werewolves in Wulfgard have a variety of designs per individual and other factors in the story/world itself and many other elements; their designs are something I have hashed out over the course of literally my entire life, so it isn't something to rush. I like a variety of designs, and curses are complicated in my world, and I've adapted that into the entirety of werewolf designs themselves. I'm really proud of what I came up with - be sure to check back to my blog in November for some big news in terms of my own werewolves and their designs... Sorry - shameless plug! I've got a big thing coming.
Hope this helps, and hope you're having a great day! :)
#asks#ask#anonymous#werewolf#werewolves#designs#Wulfgard#folklore#van helsing#movies#werewolf movies
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— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —
Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for May 2023! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup. You can find all our other posts here.
Happy reading!
＊ in this world, it's just us by larryftnoctrl / @the-larry-way [T, 2k, Louis/Harry]
Harry returns home from the Brits with his 4 awards happy and very drunk. Louis is super proud and extremely in love with his boy and more than happy to show it in any way he can.
＊ Bound by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13 [G, 619 words, Zayn/Liam]
Months should pass like hours for a vampire, but to Zayn they’ve felt endless. Now, finally, it has come.
The day he takes his consort.
＊ Bloom by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13 [T, 28k, Liam/Louis]
In early 1970s Oxford, Detective Sergeant Louis Tomlinson has to deal with the dual pressures of a case that hits too close to home, and the arrival of new colleague Liam Payne. Payne is both the bane of his existence and, uh... dangerous. Very dangerous. His eyes, that is. His lips. The way he stands.
A story of rain and cobblestones, cigarettes, and repression. And the sunshine after the storm.
＊ Digits for Daddy by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]
Harry is back to being cheeky on stage, and this time he’s teasing his fans with his hands. He loves working the crowd, and he can’t help but watch as the cameraman shows his fingers on the big screen. Louis, however, is less than amused.
＊ Just a little taste by @lunarheslwt [G, 3k, Harry/Louis]
“Little dove,” Louis crooned, making Harry shiver a little, affected, “you’re shaking. Do you want to bite?”
Harry stilled. He knew what Louis was asking. He knew Louis probably could sense how in dire need of comfort he was. He knew Louis was offering. And yet-
“No,” he whispered, even as he felt the strong urge to let his lips trace the well-known path to the spot he usually bit into, “I could hurt you.”
“Harry, my darling, you haven’t hurt me once in the numerous times you’ve needed to bite. Today will be no different. You know it’ll do you good.”
Harry sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, torn. In the end, it was an offer he was too weak to resist.
“So…do you want to? Little taste?”
“Yeah,” Harry rasped out, “please.”
Or, Harry is a vampire that comes home one night, grappling with the darkness that comes with being one. Louis offers him unwavering love, acceptance and the one thing he needs but is reluctant to ask for; permission to bite for the sake of comfort and safety seeking.
＊ June by @neondiamond [G, 1k, Louis/Harry]
Louis and Harry pick a paint colour for their new daughter’s room.
＊ Blow the Banana by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]
The last leg of Harry’s tour has started up, and he has kicked things off with a bang and a banana that someone threw on stage. He wasn’t planning on unpeeling it and giving the fans a cheeky show, but when they chanted that he should eat it, he couldn’t resist his sensual ways. Louis, of course, needed to punish him for it later.
＊ Hold Me How the Deep Night Has by @crochetsunsets [E, 48k, Harry/Louis]
Louis Tomlinson needs a change. Stuck in a cycle of going to the job he hates, spending time with his friends, and avoiding the one man he hates most in this world, Louis' in desperate need of something new. So when he discovers an abandoned notebook on the way to work, the decision is easy to take it for himself and begin a journal amidst the empty pages. What can't be expected are the words that appear overnight directly beside his own, written on the same day 400 years in the past. What are the consequences of a magical connection between two men of different centuries? And who, among it all, is the mysterious E who only exists on the other side of Louis' journal?
or What happens when love transcends time itself.
＊ That's The Way Love Goes by red_PANdaaa28 / @red-pandaaa [M, 8k, Louis/Harry]
For the last eleven months, there had been someone missing though. As Louis stared at the empty spot usually reserved for Liam, he realised it had almost been a year since they had been all five together.“Hey.” Harry nudged him gently in the ribs. As always, he was on the same wavelength as Louis; instantly knowing where his mind had wandered to. “He’ll come around eventually.”
Louis nodded, taking a deep breath and plastered on a smile.
OR Liam is going through a break up. Louis remembers.
＊ seven, seven by @nouies [NR, 1k, Harry/Louis]
“Hello, baby girl,” Harry says as soon as the nurse places the bundle of joy into his arms. “We’ve been dying to meet you.”
＊ (now I realize that the world outside) it's bigger than me by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed [T, 3k, Louis+Liam friendship fic]
It starts with a phone call from Liam.
“Lou,” it sounds urgent, the way that Liam gets when he’s worried, and Louis sits up straighter, conditioned to that tone even when he had hated it the first few years in the band.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his brain immediately trying to play catch up, wondering where his keys are and if he can get away with leaving the house without a shower, because it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, it doesn’t matter how much physical distance there is between them, if any of his boys call and need him he’ll be there in a heartbeat. Or as soon as he can, at least.
“Did you mean to post that to your public account?”
Or: Louis accidentally comes out
＊ When it's good it's really something by @enchantedlandcoffee [E, ~1k, Louis/Harry]
Louis managed to lose himself in the sensation, his casual strokes quickening with purpose as his other hand clenched the duvet with his fist. He tried to muffle his groans slightly, still listening out for movement from downstairs. As his eyes flicked over to the clock, the bedroom door was pushed open to reveal a sweaty Harry, joggers riding even lower on his hips and two bottles of water in his hands.
Harry’s eyes raked down Louis’ body, lingering on Louis’ hand and obvious erection.
“You started without me?!” A pout formed on the younger boy’s face as he placed the drinks on the dresser, his eyes never leaving Louis’ body.
“Took too long,” Louis breathed, throwing his head back with a soft moan as his hand quickened its pace.
Series Part 2 of Can We Please Get Back To Lovin'?
＊ If the world was ending, you'd come over, right? by @enchantedlandcoffee [T, 6k, Harry/Louis]
"Is Harry with you?" Louis blurted out, his free hand tapping anxiously against his knee.
"Louis?"
"Yeah. Is Harry with you?"
On any other occasion, Louis knew Niall would have yelled at him for calling in the middle of the night. But Niall must've sensed the urgency in his tone, his voice immediately taking on a lighter touch.
"Yeah. Yeah, he's been staying in the spare room. Why? Do you want me to get him for you?"
"No!" Louis panicked. "Just- check on him please? Make sure he's breathing and everything?"
＊ i still wanna dance with you by @justanothershadeofblue [T, 6k, Louis/Harry]
The first time Louis Tomlinson sees Harry Styles, he thinks Harry is the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. Long brown curls cascade past gently curved shoulders; big green eyes with long lashes blink up at him above a full, pink mouth. There’s a pile of clover in Harry’s lap where he’s plaiting a flower crown, and it’s not till Harry speaks, smiling shyly, that Louis realizes his mistake.
＊ Come All Ye by @justanothershadeofblue [E, 6k, Harry/Louis]
Come all ye rolling minstrels
And together, we will try
To rouse the spirit of the earth
And move the rolling sky
It's the summer of 1971, and Louis just wants to get out of town for a minute or a day. When his buddy Zayn says they should head down south and check out this radical new music festival, Louis is only too happy to agree.
＊ Flowers in the Window by @justanothershadeofblue [M, 33k, Louis/Harry]
He’d fought with Harry; one last, angry, drag-out fight. Harry’d called him provincial and afraid; he’d shouted back that Harry was self-centered and ambitious. They hadn’t come to blows, but it had been a near thing - Harry had stormed out of the pub, barely remembering his guitar and forgetting his hat. Louis had gritted his teeth and finished his pint before striding out into the damp and windy night, letting the wet breeze hide the frustration that seeped down his cheeks.
Now he lies listening to the voices in the wind as it howls in the space between his own house and Harry’s. The narrow gap that had always seemed non-existent throughout their childhoods now feels like a chasm in the darkness of the night, something opening between them too far to be bridged, too deep to be forded.
Harry is a lonely and depressed popstar who sailed out of his hometown on Eroda years ago to chase his dreams. He comes back to the island only to find his shining childhood best friend Louis just as cold and dreary as the island they grew up on.
Series Part 2 of ocean tides you home
＊ Hard to Handle by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 3k, Louis/Harry]
Harry can't resist the chance to make a good joke, especially on stage in front of his fans. It just so happens that this one was dirty, the words “hard and fast” falling from his lips with a cheeky grin. It’s not until he gets to his dressing room that his dom Louis reminds him just how hard and fast things can get.
＊ Together We're the Greatest by @hellolovers13 [E, 4k, Harry/Louis]
“How the fuck does this always happen to you?” Louis huffed, pulling Harry's limp body into the half fallen apart car he'd borrowed for this. Well, he didn't intend to give it back, really, but insurance covered theft, did it not? And this thing was basically held together with duct tape and good faith, so really, the former owners should thank him for taking it off their hands.
It's not the first time Louis has to stitch Harry back together, but Louis will make sure it is the last.
＊ Captain Cupid by @2tiedships2 [NR, 15k, Louis/Harry]
“Right,” Niall started, finally getting the opportunity to unleash his horrible plan. “Well, as you both know, I’m an excellent matchmaker. A human Cupid.The best of the best at finding one's mate. And I’ve decided it’s time to make money doing it.”
“Oh, God no,” Louis groaned, picking up his empty plate and placing it in the sink. He needed to escape as quickly as possible.
Or the one where Niall enlists his friends to help start a speed dating side hustle. Things don't go as planned... or maybe they do?
＊ Tip of the Tongue by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 4k, Louis/Harry]
Harry can’t control what his fans do while he’s on stage, so when some of them started spraying water on him, he did the only logical thing and stuck his arms and tongue out, embracing the impromptu shower. The person who doesn’t embrace the action is Louis, who decides to give Harry a few showers of his own and remind the boy what is tongue is good for.
＊ Cowboy Like Me by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings [M, 29k, Harry/Louis]
Going legit and starting over in a small town was supposed to solve all of Harry’s problems. That was until a string of robberies in wealthy towns brings him face-to-face with his rouge ex-partner and their dicey, unresolved past.
＊ take me back, take me back by eynap / @panye [E, 32k, Niall/Shawn Mendes]
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Niall says. He puts his head between his hands. “How is this happening?”
“I didn’t want to say anything,” Harry says. “I wanted you to figure it out on your own.”
“You think I like Shawn, too?” Niall asks and he’s shocked. “If anyone is supposed to tell me that I’m gay it’s supposed to be my gay best friend!”
Or, Niall invites his new friend Shawn to Zayn and Liam's three-day wedding in Napa Valley, California. He gets way more than he expected.
＊ Five Zero Five by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]
“So,” says Harry, and his fingers trail on Louis’ jaw, over his exposed neck. “I heard your cover tonight. Arctic Monkeys, really nice.” His fingers linger on Louis’ neck, stroke the Adam’s apple.
(Or, they told us all they have a choking kink.)
＊ Shame the Schlong by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]
Harry was forced to behave on stage when his mom was in the audience of one of his shows. Because of his this, he was sure that he hadn’t given his dom Louis a reason to punish him after the concert. A cheeky photo taken before Harry goes back to the hotel, however, has him in for a surprise.
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Happy Spooky Season, pumpkaboos!
Here’s what’s happening this month / going forward on simmancy-dot-tumblr-dot-com.
𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜! 👋
Hi there if you’re new! My name is Kit, I am 32 now, this is my simblr, I am active on and off. If any of that bothers you, unfollow, it's okay! If you're here because I posted a mod list or a random piece of CC you like, then I have good news - I do those things occasionally! When I am actively posting, I usually dabble in gameplay. I don't do much storytelling anymore because... well, I don't have the time!
𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚂𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚎 🍬
I have SOME stuff I've been poking at in my ~spare time~. I love Simblreen, it's the best time of the year imo and it's just... a tradition. It's a tradition. So I'm going to try 🤞
I have been writing out a mod list centered around occults/spooky gameplay at least. So that's seasonally appropriate????? If you have a mod list request hit my inbox because I still fucking LOVE WCIFs and that's a sort of WCIF.
𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 🎃
This year (and likely going forward), I'm going to try to use my blog to showcase the community. There's SO many cool things in the ts4 tag!! So I've been scouring it at the dead of night to refill my queue 👻 That's what you can mainly expect this month. No CAS challenges, no CC challenges, just some creepies and kookies from others around simblr.
𝚁𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 🌕
Hi regular followers!! I’m so sorry if you've been here a long time, because I don't have much updates on my ~classic~ gameplays and saves and they just...... won't be. For a while.
Not So Perry... I have a bit of Gen 4 but I haven't played in a whiiiiile so. I might revisit that/redo/we'll see.
Star x Crossed is indefinitely on hold - I will probably revise how that was posting because the full episodes just aren't possible right now. I might do it more as like... an edit type thing, where the edits tell the stories or whatever. It SUCKS because I had really big hopes and dreams for that save and instead I... had a child.
The Nobel ABCs will return because I have 10 generations done in game. I just need to queue.
Maggie's Wonderful Life WILL eventually be done LMAO. I'm hoping to get back into that save soonish. I LOVE farming gameplay! So I want to play/finish it. I had about half of the introductions shot before I got distracted with other things and then... well. yeah.
New saves? When I manage to play, I play a lot of newer saves LMAO. Mostly because when I have time right now I need... something easy.
𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚄𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 🔮
I decided I like doing this once a year Simmancy Newsletter during my favorite time of the year. Halloween remains the BEST season, and there's also no guarantee I won't drop off the face of the planet again.
Obv the main thing is that, as previously stated, I had a baby. A whole ass baby. She's now 3 months old, and she is so much in the best way. We're currently teething and if you're like "Kit that seems a bit early," you're absolutely right but this is the lot I've drawn in life. She likes to be sat up, and stood up, and to talk to the Baby in the Mirror. She also is obsessed with trees and the cat. I know new moms are annoying and I'm absolutely that annoying new mom, I literally cannot shut up about her and therefore make my sims blog also about her.
I go back to work next month and I'm absolutely dreading it. Can I just be a sim and have someone press motherlode for me? Please?
Otherwise, there's very little in Kit World. The past 6 simblr years remain wonderful, and I've met some of my best friends on here. I go between BG3 and Sims when I have game time (which isn't a lot because Baby Simmancy is increasingly awake and mobile). I WISH I had more time to hang around here but maybe in a year or so.
Anyway, that’s my update of the year. Happy spooky season everybody! I hope it’s a good one!
Stay safe & spooky out there!
#blog update#kitkat chitchat#'i will be putting that baby in a pumpkin' sound#yes i am continuing to use my simblr to also update you on my child
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you are so real for that response to nansheofearth's comment. lesbians are stuck licking crumbs off the boots of bihet feminist women or queer/trans identified people.
ive been to polilez/radfem events too, and hearing them talk is as alienating as being a homosexual women in queer spaces. sorry i dont want to listen to women talk about how boring their husbands became, or the 4 kids they had with a man before they "became lesbians". it is so alienating as a lesbian, you feel like you truly are a freak of nature, when even other "lesbians" can talk so casually about sleeping with men, so what's wrong with you that your whole being seizes with disgust and wrongness at the thought. or maybe there really is no one like you in the world.
it sucks that even other lesbians make allowances for radical feminist homophobia. our self esteem is so grounded into the dust that we think we need to put up with this homophobia for the "greater good".
your blog has become the go-to for lesbians haha, i check it regularly even if i don't otherwise check tumblr, so i'm throwing in my few cents into the discussion.
Hi anon!
(Anon is referring to that post.)
Thank youuuu, your last paragraph made me so happy 🥹 I'm glad my blog can be a positive lesbian space! Now I'm thinking I should post more beautiful women and gifs from lesbian movies hehe
I totally understand what you mean, that's pretty much how I felt when I went to that lesbian festival (tbh I knew something was wrong when the woman who handed me a flyer at the entrance had super long glittery stiletto nails, I almost left then and there 🤣)
To summarize the first edition of that lesbian festival last year:
First there was a panel on lesbian representation in the media that was derailed to trans males within ten minutes (and even complained about trans criminals being misgendered!), the second panel about intersectionality of lesbians of color had zero lesbian in it, only bi women and trans males
Then there was a lesbian comedy show with two fakebians talking about their ex-boyfriends and making jokes about lesbians' supposed obsession with astrology + a non-binary bi woman who claimed that her gender identity made all her relationships gay (she called herself a dyke and a faggot)
There was a sex-ed booth held by an influencer who had DYKE (yes, in all caps) in her Twitter bio while talking about her het hookups (and throwing a real tantrum when people told her it didn't make sense), she also made sex ed videos on our national tv channel's website where she said that lesbians have sex with men and that men can be lesbians. She has since removed dyke from her bio.
A lesbian bookstore had a booth too, the original owners retired and the new ones are polilez queers who keep promoting books about lesbianism being a choice... Half of the books at that booth were about trans people.
Needless to say, I wouldn't even inflict that on a lesbian I dislike as a prank!
What you said about "lesbians" talking casually about having had sex with men reminds me of a French podcast I listened to years ago that was about bisexual and "lesbian" women who were with men before realizing they were attracted to women. The first conclusion I had was that I couldn't relate at all and felt very uneasy about it. I didn't even dare write my second conclusion back then but it was basically this:
I couldn't differentiate their stories at all. And deep down, they must know this because fakebians use their experiences with men as a way of relating with bi and het women while being mostly hostile to gold stars and finding us unrelatable!
Anyway, this is really long already haha
Question for the gold stars: what would be your dream lesbian event? 💃 (apart from being only for actual lesbians, of course!)
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Em, thank you so much for sharing your story and creating this blog! Your tumblr account has become a sort of a comfort place for me. I absolutely adore the way you interact with your readers and love the fact that your anons have been respectful (even though I realize that most likely there were some rude and insensitive messages because it is something that goes hand in hand with publishing any sort of art publicly. And if that is the case for you too, my heart goes out to you <3 )
Every time I see a new post here I smile. I love going through your asks (I prefer to make random amount of swipes and just read wherever the scrolling stops, I call it ‘tumblr roulette’ lol, it never fails to surprise me with pieces of information I know I’ve read before but forgot about because my memory isn’t that good).
Your posts from October/November of the last year hold a special place in my heart. Back then I was going through a very harsh time with my job practically sucking out the last droplets of my blood and sanity. I vividly remember standing outside of the building on my lunch break and smoking cig after cig like a chimney (-100000000 out of 10 experience would never recommend) and I swear the moment I was about to burst into tears I got a Tumblr notification of a new post on your blog. It was about Halloween outfits your characters would choose. Despite my state I got slightly amused with some of the choices. I managed to go through the rest of my day without crumbling down completely with the help of the thoughts of your game in the back of my mind. I know it may sound ridiculous but your story and that ask in particular really helped me shift the focus from my struggles and somewhat unwind in a healthy escapism way.
I’ve been meaning to reach out to you a long ago to thank you but I knew that telling you all of this might not be welcome as we all are strangers here (and not all authors and readers may find it appropriate when some random person on Tumblr dot com overshares and I’m sorry if I made someone uncomfortable). But I just wanted you to know that what you do not only provides some of your fans with a magnificent gaming experience but also a much needed respite from unwanted experiences of reality.
I hope life treats you well, wish you all the luck with your artistic endeavors and always remember that your mental and physical health should always be prioritized!
This was such a nice message to open tumblr to 😭💚
Honestly, BA was something I started making for my own comfort, especially since I didn't expect to get any traction, but seeing it become a thing of comfort for others has been a really nice experience!
Idk if it's because of the themes of the story or something, but I've genuinely yet to get a rude message yet lol and I'm really appreciative of how nice and relaxed the atmosphere of this blog has been. And I'm glad it's become a place for some people to unwind to.
#em answers#long post#reminder#also the halloween post?? you've been here so long omgg#I know some people find it hard to believe but I genuinely remember all my regular and semi regular followers lol#also I can't speak for my followers but I don't mind oversharing if it's like this#just because idc about being big or popular or anything (actually almost deleted when I originally saw my follower count boom sksks)#and my major reason for sharing my work is for things like this like idk I need this story so maybe others need to it#anyway now I'm ranting ajsjs but yeah thank you for letting me know
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47 -
Lately I’ve been feeling a sense of peace within myself. It’s really nice but I can’t help but wonder when it will go away and I’ll be back to the me as I’ve always known myself: melancholy, aloof, insecure, anxious…
But what if it stays?
Been trying this new thing where I trust my intuition (my greater She) in how I behave, the decisions I make, the things I say. I’m starting to trust in myself to choose the right thing over what’s easy or simply status quo.
I have faith that if one door closes, a window will open. Because it always does.
While I don’t have it all figured out yet, not even close, I’m trying to relish each present moment - the joy of figuring it out.
Happiness is a choice, it’s a mentality.
Not to downplay my own struggles or past regrets/mistakes - but I have a lot to be proud of. I’m not perfect by any means but that is okay too. Because I continue to try, be open minded, stay unassuming, learn and challenge myself. I don’t give up on myself.
Even if I think I am, I’m not. Because I’m still here and I’m still taking on the next day.
Does this mean I’m a good person? Or does this mean I am just human, with all the complexities.
A big thing I noticed is that black or white thinking. I’ve had a hard time forgiving myself for anything really….because it didn’t jive with me “being a good person” or “being worthy”. I couldn’t be one without the other.
But then I’d forgive others in a heartbeat. Second chances? More like 3, 4, to infinity. Because I believe in the power of people changing. I’ve been trying to view myself as how I’d view someone else. I’m much kinder to others than I am to me.
Like I have it all ass backwards haha.
Now I realize that I have to cheer myself on. No one else will do it for me. And if I don’t, I’ll never get anywhere because I’ll always be too scared.
So if anyone is reading this, do what you need to let it all go. The expectations of what “should be”or how you “should be”. Scream in the car, delete that person from your friend list, go on a road trip by yourself, write affirmations on sticky notes and post them everywhere, cry your heart out, listen to your favorite song on repeat, throw yourself into your favorite hobby or start a new one, write all your worries on a piece of paper and burn it, break some shit then break some more shit, journal all your feelings on a random tumblr blog (haha), do something that scares you, make conversation with a stranger….I don’t know - just do something! Anything.
If it doesn’t work, do it again. And again. And again. Until it does.
Don’t worry if you look stupid or silly or uncool doing it. Do it for you. Forgive yourself for it all. You were and still are doing the best you could.
And don’t laugh at me when I say that because I used to make fun of all the people on social media who would say “X and X” solved all my problems and now I’m just this happy little leprechaun finding rainbows and gold everywhere. It’s not that simple but it also is.
Way easier said than done am I right *rolls eyes*
Know that you don’t have to have all the answers and you sure as hell don’t need to be perfect.
You are the one who writes your story so you get to decide who the main character is. Who you are. Who do you want to be?
As I’ve been healing, slowly but surely, people have fallen off. It really sucks to lose people. But the right ones have stayed & our relationships are so much sweeter and truer.
As I’ve accepted what I can do and what I can’t do, it’s been so freeing to feel like I’m not disappointing the world.
One day it will work. And then life will feel like magic.
Because lately, the thought that crosses my mind is: this is what it was meant to feel like all along.
#self love#healing#recovery#mental health#sobriety#healing journey#spiritual growth#love letter: my true feelings#love letter to myself#i am worthy of love#love your life#love yourself#love your body#inner peace#higher self#authentic self#authenticity#attitude of gratitude
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