"...Nautica Voyage?"
"Yeah."
"Makes sense..."
"Why, because it's cheap?"
"No, because it's long-lasting and you've been traveling. And I'm sorry, but why do you hate me so much again, exactly? Even when I'm trying to give you a compliment, you immediately assume I mean you ill for some reason."
"Brazil Olympics. Ring a bell?"
"Yes, I remember the Brazil Olympics."
"Yeah, well, do you remember staring at my sister and me without a word just because I offered you a simple handshake and then turning to your equerry and asking him if he could 'get rid of me?' Because I sure do. As well as the condescending look on your face that made it completely clear where you saw Pip and me on the social totem pole..."
"I...didn't realize you heard that."
"Yeah, well, I did. But you know what, I'm glad I did -- at least it made it clear that you're just like all the other political hacks Pip and I have been paraded in front of, ever since my old man got into office. Two-faced and insincere -- self-absorbed and superficial. Acting all smiley and such in front of the cameras just to puff yourself up and look important, rather than actually doing any real good for people, especially not people who really need help. That's why I even went to that stupid wedding of your father's in the first place, so that I could meet with your Prime Minister about the research I did toward a new green energy deal. Trust me -- if it weren't for me not wanting to sabotage that deal or ruin my Pippa's chance to make a real difference in the world, once she's graduated and can chase a position on the Supreme Court, I wouldn't be wasting two seconds with you."
"...Duly noted."
"Hn."
"...Um...look...I know this is late, but...I'm sorry. For being a prick to you. ...I know it's no excuse, but I was kind of a prick to everyone back then."
"And you're not now?"
"I'm not trying to be! You're just so...infuriating, sometimes!"
"Well, sorry for not just marching lockstep like one of your little Beefeaters in front of your palace."
"The Beefeaters guard the Tower of London, not my palace, you are thinking of the Queen's Guard -- "
"Oh really? Thank you for the correction -- I'll find that infinitely more interesting when I'm actually able to visit the Tower of London without worrying about either you or the press -- "
"Will you stop biting my head off!?"
"Pfft."
"Ugh -- anyway...as I was saying before you derailed my apology...back then, I...it was right after my mother died, and...well, the palace thought it was a brilliant idea to parade me around, for all sorts of press events. Even when my father was already making arrangements for the current Duchess of Edinburgh to take my mother's place. Perhaps even because of it. Grandfather wanted our family to look perfect from the outside, even with all the 'changes.' And as England's beloved deceased princess's only son...I made for a good 'representative' for the family. If I looked well-adjusted and coiffed and respectable, I reflected well on everyone else. Including my father."
"...The King really made you go out and schmooze like that right after your mom died?"
"Less than three months."
"Oh. ...Now I feel like I need to apologize."
"You don't have to."
"I want to. ...I'm sorry, for...not being sensitive to your situation. I know I'm not exactly good at that sort of thing -- my Pippa, Carewyn, she's much better at understanding people. ...In fact, she...even said that I probably projected some stuff onto you back then, without meaning to. Like, that you probably weren't looking down on Pip and me specifically so much as just not wanting to be around anyone at all..."
"Your sister is right about that. I mean, about me looking down on you: I wasn't. I just had never seen anyone ballsy enough to come to a formal event in a tee before, even if it was under a suit jacket."
"It was for the Olympic games! Pip had really wanted one as a souvenir, but our old man didn't think it was 'proper attire' for a First Daughter to wear -- so I bought it for her and wore it myself. Plus Mum thought it might show the Brazilians how excited I was to be there."
"Were you?"
"Of course! Brazil was gorgeous! I mean, sure, I didn't get to see as much as I wanted, with the Secret Service breathing down my neck, but the people, the music, the food, the culture -- just...everything -- it was amazing."
"...Hm. Yes, it is."
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thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
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barbie spoilers?? maybe?? but idk why one of the things i loved most about the movie that i’m not seeing anyone else talk about (because maybe it’s a hard thing to bring up, or “bad” to talk about, or whatever, but) is that sharon rooney features so prominently as one of the main Barbies in Barbieland. i know sharon rooney from her role as rae earl in “my mad fat diary” where it was the first time i was seeing myself and my struggles with binge eating disorder and depression and fatness being portrayed on tv, and while maybe it wasn’t a super mainstream show (idk how popular it was in the uk), it was a show that was seeing me.
and now sharon rooney is playing a barbie in THE barbie movie, and she is not “plus size barbie” or “body neutrality barbie” or like any of mattel’s recent attempts to make barbie have a normal body despite the original doll’s unrealistic proportions. she’s just a barbie!!!! she’s as much of a barbie as any of the other barbies!!!! idk why that’s giving me such a thrill especially to see her in the movie and i can’t really articulate what it is (that a person without margot robbie’s body shape/size is perfectly, evenly on par with her in a movie of this caliber -- not the main character or star, obviously, but is equally considered as beautiful and perfect as stereotypical barbie and all the other barbies just by being herself) -- but i loved loved loved loved loved it and i’m so happy that it was just a *thing* without needing to be quantified.
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