#I hope you don't mind that it's a bit late :)
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i heard your name [iii]
“your lips were divine and you said that you’d be mine, i was yours for a time, now everything is alright”
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pairing: cairo sweet x reader
summary: after finally opening yourself up to hope, everything comes crashing down in a fiery mess.
warnings: being used, references to sex, really really really bad emotional stuff and lots of conflicting emotions, GASLIGHTING*** so yikes
word count: 4.5k
A/N: i’ve altered the timeline a bit so that there’s more of a gap when miller and cairo kiss and when she cries about miller hating her story.
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Even with your fingers sliding out of Cairo, placing her hot slick on your tongue like the sweetness it was and watching her shake, eyes rolled back to the ivory bed frame, you found yourself preoccupied with other thoughts.
From behind her, on the green of the walls as if there were an HD projector there, you caught a glimpse of the scene from a few days before, splashing with rain and the view you had from behind the bush, the greens bursting from the grey sky. Mr. Miller and Cairo. Cairo and Mr. Miller. Why was he driving to her house? What did he need late at night from his teenage student? Even in the rain, you definitely saw him, right?
“—Helllloooo?” came the voice from underneath you, jolting you from the waking nightmare. You looked down to where she was splayed out on the sheets.
Mascara blotted her cheeks from where the sweat had run, and Cairo shuddered, attempting to right herself. She sat up on her elbows, dark pupils blown out and staring at you in wonder. "Are you even on the planet anymore?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at you.
You managed a weak smile, guarding the real memory that was on your mind like clockwork again. Cairo's hands crept up to your unbuttoned shirt, grabbing each side and tugging you down on top of her, her hands threading themselves into the soft hair at your neck. She held you there, for a moment, resting her nose against the side of your face and nuzzling into you.
It was sweet and it was earnest, and had you not seen what you did, your heart would have done catapults in your chest and squeezed her right back. Instead, you wondered if your disgusting writing teacher had been here too. To what extent was Cairo breaking school policy? To what extent did she care? It was suddenly decidedly less sweet to be in her sheets.
"I should go," you muttered into the bed.
"Hm," hummed Cairo, but she didn't let you go, instead tightening her grip and holding you against her. "That was good," she whispered after a moment, right into your ear. You didn't reply, breathing in slowly and finding yourself consumed by the scent of her perfume. It smelled less like flowers.
Your hand went to the mattress, pushing yourself up and off of Cairo, rolling over. Outside the sky was fading to a languid purple colour, and you stared at it, frowning. From behind you, you could hear a rustling in the sheets.
"Is something wrong?" She asked. Her voice was a sickly sweet wave, stirring the pool of conflict in your gut. You swallowed, shaking your head. "Yeah, right. You're being quiet again," she said, scoffing.
"How are you so sure?" You asked. Your eyes flicked towards her and then back to the garden outside. Cairo was sitting up now, crisscrossed against one of the bedposts.
"Sure of what?"
"Sure you know me, or what I'm 'being.'" You looked back at her. "You talk to me sometimes like you do."
"Well...don't I know you?" She challenged, playing with intertwining her fingers. “What don’t I know?” You squinted a bit to see her dark eyes, in the dim lighting of Cairo's lamps and candles. She absolutely refused to use the bright ceiling fan light, and the shadows hid the shine of her dark brown eyes from where you could study them.
You shrugged, unwilling to answer. "I'm not sure either of us know each other, at this point."
She blinked at you, and then a smile crept out like she thought you were kidding. "Oh, are you mocking me now? Are we back to that pretentiousness thing you ramble about? The Mr. Miller and poetry speech?"
You stared at her, unable to reply. See, there was a certain part of you that hoped she was being taken advantage of— a very cruel part of you. And then there was the exceedingly real possibility that came from knowing Cairo Sweet. The that you couldn't help but give you pause.
The thought that she knew and was doing it on purpose. The thought that she was the one seducing him, and not the other way around. The thought that she was far from brainwashed, and was instead choosing the more insidious route. It was wrong, but it also wronged you, and the thought made you sick to your stomach.
Was that selfish? To want something so terrible for someone just to spare your own feelings? To want that for Cairo? Such thoughts had run through your mind several times for the past several hours, and each time you felt like a worse and worse person. Sometimes when you were with her you felt that way.
"You're being quiet again," She said. "Seriously, I'm going to start thinking you're sick if you don't tell me what's going on," she joked, trying to lighten the mood.
When you didn't reply to that either, she crawled towards you, laying her head on your chest and wrapping her arm around your torso. "I want you to tell me everything. We're close enough for that, right?” Above you in the ceiling, at the edge of the popcorn thread veins that weaved through the plaster like a map was some dark embossing that rich people had. You stared at it for a while.
"...I saw you and Mr. Miller," you said finally. The grief that came with it was unstoppable. It was quiet, but not quiet enough.
Cairo jolted up, yanking her head away from you and scooting a whole foot away as if a snake had bitten her. Eyes wide and wild, jaw slack, tears already starting to form. You watched her go.
"What did you say?" She asked, but not because she hadn't heard you. You repeated yourself anyways.
"I saw you two a few days ago. Together."
She nodded, but her cheeks were a flushed, angry and agitated red. "He dropped off my phone. I left it at sch—"
"—No, Cairo. I saw you guys kiss." She furrowed her eyebrows, looking...confused? This was when it was impossible to read her. Maybe she'd cry and tell you it was all in your head and you’d know your mom’s condition was genetic, or she'd punched him afterwards and she was going to the school board to raise hell and you could proudly stand behind her in support.
Instead, she simply said. "No?"
You stopped. "What do you mean, 'no'?"
"We hugged," She replied, shrugging. "That was it. I don’t know what you thought—"
"—Cairo, I saw you."
"(Y/n), that’s illegal and disgusting. We hugged because of stuff with my parents I talked to him about."
"You guys were in the rain. Kissing."
She reached out a hand, putting it on your knee and staring right at you. “I promise. I don't know what you think you saw, but it was rainy and it was getting dark. All we did was hug.”
"I— I saw you. I saw you two," you shook your head, the disgust at the image starting to work its way into your voice. But when you looked up, Cairo was glaring, looking concerned for you and a bit angry at the same time. Maybe you were crazy, after all.
"We hugged. God, how could you even think I would do that??? Is this what you meant by ‘the knowing each other’ bullshit??”
“I saw him here after hours, Cairo. I really don't want to believe it, but I don’t know how to really trust you…”
“Well whose fault is that!? You’re the one who insisted on being a celibate fucking monk for weeks because you didn’t want any semblance of a string attached. So sorry, maybe you don’t know my childhood pet, but I would hope you’d know me well enough to not think I was sleeping with my teacher!”
You scowled right back at her feeling your previous sheepishness roll over into a boiling resentment within you. “You have a bad habit of jumping into the pants of people who you deem good at writing, y’know.”
Cairo’s eyes widened in surprise, and she scoffed at you like she couldn’t believe it. You couldn't believe it either. "Is that what this is? Do you feel inadequate?” She questioned. "You think I'm just going to run off and onto the next person when I'm done using them?"
“No!” you insisted, cheeks flushing. Cairo threw up her hands.
“I can’t believe I have to sit here and convince you to not be jealous of our fifty something writing teacher of all people. Are you seriously that insecure?”
“I’m not insecure!”
“And I’m not some manipulative mastermind!"
"Then why are you lying?"
"God, are you on something?" She snapped, rolling her eyes. She wandered on over to her underwear, pulling them up her legs in frustration. "Normal people don't just accuse someone of a literal crime, (Y/n)," she spat, but the edges of her eyes had begun to water again.
"I saw you!" But your tone was weaker.
"Bullshit! You didn't see anything!" Cairo yelled, crying now. Gentle tears had begun to wash down her cheeks, taking some of the already splotchy mascara with it. She still looked beautiful, crying like that. "You're trying to blow up whatever good this was with your stupid insecurity! Why can't you just let things be good for once?! I was finally starting to have things be good for once!”
You stopped, feeling her words connect with your chest and sink directly into your heart. That hurt more than you wanted to admit. Once more you were wondering if it had really all been in your head. Was this all self-destructive?
You had sworn at seven to never do some of the stuff your mom always did, but the longer you looked at Cairo's tear-streaked face and sad, brown eyes, you began to wonder if the cycle was repeating itself and it was out of your control.
"I-I need to go," you shook your head. Get away.
"Are you seriously leaving again??" She asked, sounding incredulous. You didn't even look at her, grabbing your jacket and your phone, right when it buzzed in your hand. You looked down, seeing there were over twelve missed texts from your mom.
You threw it in your pocket. Now the warning light in your head was really going off. "I really need to go."
"We're not even done here! What is going on with you, and why are you accusing me of bullshit!?”
"Later."
"No, no way."
"Yes. Goodbye Cairo," you ended, throwing it over your shoulder before you fled her bedroom and down the stairs. When you reached the foyer, you heard her yell from the landing, watching you go.
"For a writer you communicate like such a child!" And then she slammed her door.
===+++===
It was remarkable, just how dull the white walls of your room looked now. In the past several weeks of having lived there, you had barely noticed just how blank they were. All of your walls were like that, ever since you had started moving around. People didn't usually bother to paint the walls of newer modern houses after their construction.
The very reason you had this new outlook was hard to ignore, and every single time you replayed the memory of seeing her and your writing teacher together on the porch of her house, the image became less and less cemented in your mind.
There had been a few branches, and the rain was very thick, and her porch was kind of far away, and maybe it was the wrong angle. Maybe you had seen it wrong, and it was all innocent, and Cairo was just getting support from her teacher that she idolised. Maybe she was right: maybe you had just ruined everything.
Of course, then there was the possibility that it was for the best. The overwhelming reality that you would probably be whisked away again in a month, and it was the realisation that you had stopped thinking about it that made you realise you had lived and loved like you’d be staying with her forever. More specifically, you had been a fool again.
You stood up from the ersatz desk, fashioned with a few cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other, and headed down the stairs at the end of the hall. It had begun to get darker outside fast, and the sky was fading from a faint purple to the lighter black of the blanket of night.
On the couch, your mom had splayed herself out, legs thrown haphazardly over the armrest and hands dangling from the seat cushions. Against the far wall was your television, with the big old crack right down the middle from when your mom had accidentally thrown it the week you had first arrived in town.
She didn’t say anything when you walked right past her, and you knew better than to talk to her when she was in one of her moods. It wouldn’t make it any better, it would make her cry. If you just waited a few weeks she would get up from the couch and want to go outside again. You walked right past her instead, going into the old kitchen and rooting around to find something to eat.
“Hey, kiddo,” she called quietly, and you had to stick your head out the doorway to make sure she had even really made the noise.
“Yeah mom?” You asked, a bit hopeful. Talking again was a good sign.
“I’m sorry.”
You frowned. “Why are you sorry?” There was suddenly the very real possibility that she would announce right there and then you were leaving again, and you were still kind of mad at Cairo and at yourself, but you didn’t want to leave. It didn’t feel over. But then again it never did. “Are we going?”
“For all this bullshit I put you through.” She sat herself up on the cushion and you could see in the dim light of the TV she had been crying, eyes raw and red. “You deserve the world, and not someone who’s just…this.”
“Hey,” you said softly, coming up behind her. “That’s my mom you’re talking about.” She gave you a weak smile.
“Nah. Moms are supposed to be there,” she said, looking up at you. “You deserve to not be alone,” she said. You didn’t know what to say back.
It wasn’t a new line of thought for her. The mournful look she gave you and the saddened apologies for your lifestyle happened usually once a month, and whatever connection you thought you two had would be immediately forgotten by an immediate period of high energy, and your mom trying every hobby in existence.
When she got in her moods like this, you could do nothing but watch her rake herself over hot coals like she was the worst person in the world and not your mother, who you were proud of, and who you knew was trying.
But that thing she said, about being alone. It sunk deep into your chest. There was Cairo’s face, eyes streaked with tears that you had caused over something you hadn’t even been sure of.
Maybe you didn’t want to be alone more than you wanted to confront what was so clearly in front of you. The red flag had been given and you had the hard choice of wether you wanted to step right over it or not. You didn't know what to say to your mom, so you said nothing at all, grabbing your dinner and trotting back up the stairs to stare at the wall a little bit longer.
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"Okay," Winnie clapped her hands together, slamming them down on the end of your table and glaring right at you. "Tell me what the hell is going on."
"What do you mean?" You asked. She put her hands on her hips and looked quite cross.
"Nuh uh, none of that. You and Cairo. Now." You cringed.
It had been about three days since you and Cairo...fell out? It was strange to describe. Class was class and was just as boring and forgettable as it had been before you had heard Cairo's name and knew she existed. She seemed unaware you were even around, any sort of relationship you two had was just washed down the imaginary drain.
Winnie had been miffed beyond belief. One day her two friends were inseparable and then the next, they couldn't be further apart. You weren't especially surprised she had come demanding answers, but that meant Cairo probably wasn't talking to her about it.
"We just have different views," you shrugged. It wasn't technically a lie. Since you had less time to wonder about Cairo, it had become all the more clear how you were irrevocably fascinated and in love with her, and it only made your own fuck up a bit more painful when she walked past you but refused to meet your eyes.
"I'm calling bullshit, kid," said Winnie. She had her eyes narrowed at you, like she was trying to read your face.
"Kid?" you tried to joke. "I'm older than you." Winnie was having none of it, glaring dismissively.
"Then why are you both acting like children?"
You frowned. Would Winnie tell Cairo? Would Cairo even care? Part of you thought she might have been totally done with you. If it was really just a hookup, there was the underlying possibility she hadn't even really cared that you were no longer fucking. Maybe she had moved onto better things.
"Winnie, take your seat," Mr. Miller called, from across the classroom. Winnie spun back around, giving him her best smile before turning to you.
"Later," she insisted. From the front of the room Cairo was watching you both, her eyes focused and sharp.
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Being back at Cairo's house was definitely strange. The clouds had come back to sit over her roof, hiding it from the sun and the entirety of your walk, it had started to drizzle, soaking your hair and splattering onto your clothes.
You weren't entirely sure why it had to be that day, but Winnie had been less than helpful, and instead just looked at you like you were a kicked puppy, refusing to say more when you told her what was going on between you two.
"That makes sense," she had said, with a weird sheen of guilt. The whole conversation had felt weird, as if there was some unknown truth being held from you, that only managed to make you feel worse. Did she mean it made sense Cairo needed help with her parents? That was what you thought at least. It made the most sense, what with her needing comforting from Mr. Miller.
The whole ordeal had only managed to make you feel worse about confronting her about it and not leaving it up to Cairo to set her own boundaries. You decided right then and there that it meant you needed to apologize.
You weren't even sure she was home, now that you thought about it. The house looked a bit dark from down the green, but it was a rainstorm, so maybe that was normal for Tennessee.
You wandered right up to her door, dripping onto her porch with the expensive real wood and feeling a little bit bad about it. The lights were all out except for the one at the top of the stairs where you knew her room was. She was definitely there.
Your finger went to ring the bell when you stopped, noticing the crack in the door from the frame. It was propped open with a sandal from the nearby shoerack that sat in the mudroom and you frowned, feeling your mind jumping towards the worst possibilities. She seemed to leave the door unlocked all the time, but having it cracked it open was new.
There weren't any instructions for what to do in this kind of situation, and even if there had been, you had failed to ever come across a similar situation anyhow. You did the best thing you could think of, pushing the door open and calling out Cairo's name over the threshold.
No response. Fantastic. You shut your eyes and sighed deeply, before stepping inside. It was normal for the most part, but then your eyes saw the smashed plant pot right there on the table in the foyer, and you started to get worried again.
You raced up the stairs as fast as you could, stopping on the landing and bending over to catch your breath. That had been a terrible idea.
When you were finally no longer about to have a heart attack, you called out to her again.
"Cairo?" You said, loudly towards her shut door. From under the small gap between the door and the floor, the soft lighting from her bedside table lamp bled out into the hall. You lifted your hand, knocking.
"Who is it?" Came her voice, with a slight tremble to it. You frowned, pushing your ear against the door to hear.
"It's, uh— it's me. (Y/n)," you muttered.
"Go the hell away," she replied.
"Right, yeah, I was just gonna—"
"—Leave!" she cut you off. "Get the fuck out of my house. Why are you even here??"
You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling awfully awkward. "I came to apologise about a few days ago...the door was just kind of open and I thought...well, I don't know what I thought."
"You know I leave it open," she said back, but with the same weird shake to her voice. You blinked. If you hadn't known any better, it sounded like she'd been...
"Cairo, have you been crying?" You asked, worry filling your voice and your mind, too. "Did something happen?"
"Why do you even care?" She asked. Her voice had even more of a quiver to it now. "You think I'm some weirdo." You winced, figuring you probably deserved that.
"Can I come in?" you titled your head to lay against the door.
"No," said Cairo, but it was closer this time, like she had wandered closer to it.
"Um, okay," you nodded, sinking to the floor outside instead. Even if she didn't especially want you back in her life whatsoever, you figured she could have probably used someone to just listen. Sometimes that's what your mom wanted when she was upset and locked herself away. "Can you tell me what happened?"
"Why?" She mumbled, her voice a bit muffled. You shrugged.
"I want to make sure you're okay."
She didn't say anything for a moment, and you could feel her thinking it over. "I was...disregarded."
You frowned. "Is this about your parents?" When she didn't reply you continued. "It's just, I know you have a rocky relationship with them, so..."
"It's not a rocky relationship," said Cairo. She seemed to have stiffened at the subject, and you figured you had gotten it in one. "Leave it alone." You winced again. A period of silence fell over you both, and your eyes went around the landing, looking at the stacks of books, debating something within yourself.
You remembered her crying that one night, and you remembered pushing her away, and you remembered how painful that had been and how hypocritical it was now that you were bugging her to share. So you swallowed hard and did something you had never done before.
"Cairo," you said softly. "My mom is bipolar."
"What?" She asked. It was clear she was on the other side of the door now, like you were, probably sitting on the ground. Maybe not having her in front of you made it easier to talk.
"Yeah. It's part of why we move around so much. It's just been me and her for the longest time. She doesn't like the medication and stuff...says it makes her fuzzy and my dad was an asshole about it and she thinks one day he's gonna steal me for himself, so we just kinda go from place to place when she feels like it."
"Oh," she said.
"Some days she's invincible and wild, like a hero or something. And then other days she doesn't move off the couch, and sometimes I have to leave food out for her to make sure she eats. I don't know if it's going to be an up or a down day." The confession sat in the air between you for a moment, just out in the open, and it felt like a weight had been lifted right off your chest. The information now lived and died with Cairo Sweet.
"I don't even know where my parents are," Cairo said after a minute. "Somewhere probably in Europe, getting drunk and living life. I can't be mad at them, I'm afraid. I can't call them shitty parents when they're not around to be shitty."
You shook your head. "It doesn't matter how crappy of a parent they are. It still fucks you up when they're not around."
"Maybe," Cairo said softly. "At least they're having fun." It sounded bittersweet, and you wanted to reach through the door to place an arm around her or to stroke her cheek.
"So why were you crying?" you asked.
You heard a thud against the wood, and she must have leaned her head back. "I got a message...they're staying in Europe for a couple months. So they won't be at graduation." It was a clever lie, one that saddened you and filled your heart wit pity.
"Oh," you hummed. Neither would your mom, anyhow. You had glazed over it too, but probably neither would you. You had no idea what you would say if your mom decided to pack you up and move you again before the end of the year. Maybe this time you'd cling and stay. "Cairo?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry I accused you of that with Mr. Miller."
She went silent but finally said, "I still don't know how the hell it could've looked like we were kissing."
"Yeah, I don't know.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, (Y/n).”
"I believe you."
"I know."
You two just sat there for a moment, separated by the door but together.
"I'm scared by all this."
"I know," she said.
"You keep saying that."
"I know," Cairo laughed. "You can open the door now, you know."
"Can I?"
"Mhm."
You clambered to your feet, reaching out to the railing to steady yourself. You opened the door and there she was. Against your better judgement and by the sheer sparkle of her warm honey eyes, you forgot every little comment from Winnie or question that was suspiciously dismissed.
And for what it was worth, Cairo looked at you— really looked at you, for the first time since you had met, and decided maybe she liked clinging to your chest.
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before anyone feels the need to say this, it'll probably be continued in a super messy fourth part that i'm already starting to work on. it may take a while to come out though. anyways thank you all so much for 300 followers and over 2.5k likes on my work. it means so much.
#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x you#cairo sweet#cairo sweet x reader#miller's girl#jenna ortega imagine
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child free!reader thoughts that have been bubbling away in the brain soup document below the cut.
kyle garrick x gn!reader but with appearances from john price, john mactavish, simon riley and the beloathed brandon (who i've shamelessly stolen from @dragonnarrative-writes)
tags/warnings: pregnancy mention right at the end of the fic (not the reader character), fluff, vague allusions to eating at restaurants (non descriptive).
(banner by @/cafekitsune)
child free!reader who has "child free, that means i don't want kids - not even yours!" as the first line on their dating profile.
child free!reader who goes on a date with john price. he's charming, polite and funny. john tells you early doors that he misread your profile but he didn't want to be rude and cancel the date on short notice so he hopes you don't mind sharing a meal with him. you don't mind as he's good company and takes care of the bill like a gentleman and apologises for wasting your time. you part ways amicably and both wish each other well with the dating scene.
child free!reader whose next date is with john mactavish. he says he doesn't mind if you call him johnny. he's good company and makes you laugh so hard that other people in the restaurant look over at your table. you're having a great time but he brings up his flatmate simon an awful lot. you end up gently suggesting that maybe johnny would prefer to take simon out for dinner instead. johnny gapes at you like a fish for a minute before realising, that yeah, he really would. you exchange numbers at the end of the date and ask him to keep you in the loop with how things go with the mysterious simon.
child free!reader who goes on a date with brandon. it's a crap date. he's late, doesn't apologise, presumes you want to head back to his place and gets annoyed when you pull the brakes on the whole thing. brandon then tells you that he doesn't care any way as he has to pick up his kid from their mum's house in the morning. you leave him to foot the bill and call johnny on your way home to complain about how crap the date was and how you should never have agreed to go on a date that your friend vouched for.
child free!reader who goes out to brunch with johnny and simon the following weekend. you spend a good portion of the brunch watching johnny lean up against simon with a little smile on your face and waggle your eyebrows knowingly when simon steps outside to smoke a cigarette. when simon rejoins you both, you tell them how you're considering deleting your dating profile and embracing singledom forever. simon makes you promise to keep your profile for at least another three days which is weirdly specific but you agree.
child free!reader who gets a message on the dating profile from kyle garrick two days later. you're pretty blunt about not wanting kids and how you won't change your mind and neither are you looking for some short term fling. despite that, kyle is friendly, funny and a little bit flirty over messages so you agree to go out on a date with him. he's even prettier in person than in his photos. kyle is flirty without being pushy, asks you questions about your hobbies without prompting, and he admits that it was simon that gave him a gentle push to message you when you explain that a friend stopped you from deleting your profile before agreeing to go on a date with him.
child free!reader who agrees to go on a second date with kyle after he tells you that he got a vasectomy at 21 because he knew even then that he never wanted to be a dad.
child free!reader that messages the group chat you have with simon and johnny absolutely gushing about kyle's eyes, arms and smile. johnny replies with endless eggplant emojis and simon sends a singular thumbs up.
child free!reader that after four fantastic dates (and one mind blowing night together) decides to delete their dating profile after kyle sleepily mumbles into your neck about wanting to be exclusive.
(and a little bonus scene that i just can't scrap)
child free!reader who goes as kyle's plus one to john price's wedding a year later and you both laugh yourselves silly when you tell your boyfriend that you went out on a very nice date with the groom once upon a time. you toast the bride with matching flutes of a non-alcoholic mocktail as she rests her hand on her very pregnant stomach at the sweetheart table she shares with her new husband.
#pfh headcannons#tw pregnancy mention#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick x reader#x reader fic#gn!reader#kg#jm#jp#sr#i just think child free readers should get a little bit of love on this blog
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ordinary human
a/n: I can't believe this is my third fic for this fandom. I can't believe it. But I figured I would put my words down and get it all out. I don't think I'll make a part two to this, but we'll see...and with that, I hope you enjoy.
Eris x fem!reader, Azriel x fem!reader
Tiny sharp nails and needles all over your body. That's what it felt like every time Beron questioned you in your cell. It was hardly even that. more like a corner of a room with a rusty and eroded gate.
But you didn't know the reason why. And you couldn't tell Beron that because he didn't take no for an answer. He never takes no for an answer.
You don't know how long it's been now. But a while ago you managed to appear into the fae lands. Not on purpose either. One night you were working a late shift at the tavern. You finished and took the trash out into the alley and then everything went black.
The next time you opened your eyes, you were someplace different. The air felt different against your skin, it felt different in your lungs. You knew you weren't home, but you didn't know exactly where you were.
Until you were captured by the autumn court guards. They took you to the high lord, Beron, and asked what he wanted to be done to you. And he smiled and said he'd think about it.
It's been hell since then.
Every few days have been a new type of torture. Mind games, where he'd leave the cell door open and lure you out. Or he would crowd you in the cell and force you to answer questions. Or he would only offer you fae wine over water, which you couldn't drink without it altering your mind.
Today, though, is new. The guards took you out of your cell today a bit gentler then usual. And then they threw you into a room. A room with a bed and a bathroom, things you haven't seen in a while.
The guard told you to clean yourself up. You wasted no time following orders. One because you felt filthy, and two because you didn't want to defy them and earn new bumps and bruises to your body.
The only way you know time passes is because when you were thrown into the room, the sun was still up. The barred windows told you as much. And by the time you finished cleaning yourself up and waiting for the guards to return the sun set and the sky was turning dark already.
After you cleaned yourself, you looked around the room for anything to help you escape this nightmare. The window wasn't an option. But in between rummaging through the drawers of the bathroom you found a sharp blade. You tucked it into the sleeve of the plain and sheer white dress you were given.
You were laying on the bed when you heard the door open. Your flinch and crawl up further on the bed, pleading and begging the guards to just let you stay inside the room. But they don't speak to you at all.
They grab you by the arms and drag you out of the room. Seeing as you haven't eaten in a long time, you have no energy to fight back. You try screaming but your voice dies out in your throat. And your body lulls as they drag you down a hallway and then another, and then another. You drop your heavy head as they do.
Faintly you can hear a door opening. And there is a plethora of voices. But you can't pick your head up to look. You're tired. So tired. You wish you had lied to Beron and said something, anything, to get him to just end it in your cell.
-
"And now I present to you, my newest experiment." Beron's voice fills the dinning hall.
The doors open and in comes two guards and a woman. She's being dragged in by her arms. Her feet not walking on their own, and her head bobbing with every motion the guards make.
Rhysand looks at Beron in fury. A human in Prythian was rare, until Feyre that is. But this is different. Feyre agreed to a deal to save her family. This woman doesn't look like she came here on her own.
"You've taken a human captive?" Rhysand asks.
Azriel looks your form over twice. You look pale and weak. Like if the guard were to let go of you, you would fall to the floor. And you wouldn't be able to get back up. He knew Beron to be cruel but this is something wicked.
Beron grins and stands from his seat. He takes his chalice with him and walks over to the woman.
"Hardly. She appeared here out of thin air it seems. Can't recall how she crossed the border. A foolish lie, I surmise." Beron says.
Beron snaps his fingers and the guards lets your arms go. You don't have enough energy to catch yourself. You land on your knees and fall flat on your stomach. Unmoving.
"You should have sent her back." Feyre says.
She couldn't stand the sight of it. Your body was so still. And your heartbeat so slow. She was human once. It's hard to not see you and think of how she could have been in the same predicament. She's in a position of power now, and she wants tot help you desperately.
"Well I've just about exhausted my patience with her. That brings us here," Beron begins and drinks the rest of the wine from his chalice, "I figured you'd have a soft spot, soft belly."
Rhysand slams his hand on the table. "You will not talk to her like that!"
Beron hands his chalice to one of the guards who takes it without another word. He uses his foot to roll your body over. You slump to the ground again, eyes closed.
He leans in closer to get a look at you.
Feyre can hear it now. How your heartbeat is beating. Adrenaline.
-
When he turned your body over, you slide the blade down your arm. You could fake it for a while, but this was your shot. If you couldn't escape, then he would surely execute you for attacking him. Beron doesn't strike you as the type to forgive and forget.
The moment you feel his breath on you is when you do it.
You launch up and swipe his face with the blade. He goes flying back, his hands covering his face. You can't see the damage you've done but the blood seeping through his palms is enough to know there is damage.
It's like all the fear is rushing out of you. You get on your feet after a few stumbles, with the blade pointing out in front of you. You turn this way and that, not daring to trust anyone in the room.
"Either you let me go or you kill me!" you shout.
Beron looks at you in pure rage. His hand juts out from his side. And you know what the means. It means he's going to use his powers against you.
The first time he did it, he just lightly burned you. But after what you've done now? There is no way you don't turn into ash. You take a staggering breath.
"That's enough!" Another voice shouts.
You whirl around to them. A male fae. Dark hair. Purple eyes. Purple eyes, you think to yourself. You were very far from home. That much is clear.
"She'll come with us." The female fae next to him says.
You start to shake your head. You don't want to go anywhere but home. You weren't going with another fae. You can't trust any of them.
"That little whore just attacked me, I'll kill her!" Beron shouts.
All of a sudden darkness clouds your vision. But you know it's not your head this time. This is a tangible darkness, shadows. In front of you materialized is a man with wings. Your eyes go wide at him. A different type of fae.
He holds out his hand, "You'll come with us if you want to live."
You don't waste any time. You put your hand in his. For the first time since you got here, the touch is friendly. You can feel the adrenaline coursing trough you start to slow.
Without another second the scenery around you changes. You go from one room you didn't know to another. You feel sick too. In the pit of your belly. It feels like bile.
"You're gonna feel-" the male in front of you says.
But he doesn't get to finish. How could he when you bend over and let out the bile you felt in your belly. The feeling is exhausting. But it doesn't last long.
You pick yourself back up and look at the male. It's then you realize that he's still holding into your hand. You should let go, you really should. But with how weak you're feeling, you cannot. You might fall to the floor if you do.
"We have rooms here, if you want to lay down for a moment." he speaks.
You shake your head over and over. Your eyes beginning to water up. You slowly hold out the blade.
"I want to go home. Take me home." you say, voice cracking.
There's an uneasy silence between the two of you. He doesn't say anything for a few moments. And you feel like you might have to attack him too in order to be taken seriously.
But then a gust of wind is felt across your cheek. You look in the direction of where it came from. There standing a few feet away are the two other fae you saw besides Beron in that other room.
The female takes a step closer to you and you take a step back.
She raises her hands up in defense, "We're not gonna hurt you."
"Please let me go home. Please." you whisper.
"We will, we will. I promise. But you should eat something, and get some rest." she offers.
Eating sounds good. Sleeping too. But how could you trust any of them. How do you know they aren't working with Beron. Maybe this is just some elaborate trick? Fae are tricksters.
Tricksters.
But you can't live like this anymore. You can't live if you don't eat. You can't live if you don't sleep. You can't make it home if you don't live.
You lower the blade and nod you head, "I could eat."
The woman smiles at you. Then she introduces herself as Feyre. The male beside her is Rhysand, her husband. And the other male with the wings is Azriel.
-
After you ate the first plate of food you were taken to a nice room, with a bed. Feyre told you that you could sleep there for a few hours while they worked on getting you home.
Well, a few hours turned into a full day. No one bothered you. You went a full twenty four hours of sleeping. It felt good, it felt like stillness.
You didn't really dream that whole time. Or if you did, you can't remember what you saw. If you had nightmares you can't remember that either.
All you remember as you wake up to dimly lit room is that you need to get home. That is what gets you out of bed and out of the room. Luckily not without your blade.
When you walk down the hallway you notice noise coming from further in the house. You walk towards it and keep your blade tucked inside of your sleeve.
At the door you realize there are more people inside than you anticipated. But before you can even try to turn back the noise stops. Fae have good hearing. They can hear you from inside.
"Come join us." a voice says.
It's speaking to you. There is no other person it could possibly be speaking to. You wearily move in close to the door. You peek your head inside.
There at the table are faces your recognize. Feyre, Rhysand and Azriel. And a few that you don't recognize. You gulp down the fear in your throat and take a few cautious steps into the room.
"There's no need to be scared. This is my family" Feyre speaks to you.
You look at her, "I don't mean to offend you but I would really like to go home now."
"That's easy." Rhysand answers.
He snaps his fingers and the space on the table in front of him is cleared. Then a scroll of paper lands on the wooden table. You watch as he rolls it out.
"Show us where your home is and we'll take you there." Rhysand says.
You quickly walk over to where he is seated at the table. Your eyes glance over the food, once and then twice, and you can feel you stomach begging you to eat. But you would really want to go home over eating another meal here.
On the map you don't really recognize the lands. You have only seen a map when you were younger. And you weren't really paying attention.
You look the map over again. Nothing looks familiar to you.
"Do you have another map? I don't think I see it on here." you speak quietly.
Rhysand nods his head, "Of course."
All of a sudden five scrolls of paper appear in front of you. Rhysand unfurls one of them and shows it to you. Your eyes scan and scan but you can't find anything that reminds you of home. You shake our head.
This process repeats four more times. Four more maps. Four more pieces of paper that don't tell you where home is. You begin to grow weary each time you open a map.
"Hey, it's okay. Maybe you could just tell us where in the mortal lands you call home." Feyre speaks up.
You let out a strangled breath. "The Canary Isles."
The room is silent. You feel it then and there. You feel it as you look around the table and their faces don't change. They all look at you like you've grown another head.
"No worry, I can ask the priestesses for a map from the library. Surely there will be something there." Rhysand says.
You swallow the lump in your throat. Your home isn't on any of their maps. They won't find it. Maybe, because it doesn't exist here. You're not sure how you got here, but you know it was a power beyond you.
"It doesn't exist." a voice says.
You look around the table, and sure enough the only woman looking right back at you is a small one. Black hair. Pretty. But you can sense right off the bat that she isn't like the others. She seems like...more.
"Amren!" another voice says.
"You're willing to string her along? I'm telling you you'll find nothing in any of the maps." Amren, the voice from before, says.
"Why?" you ask, voice shaky and unconfident.
You don't want to hear the words. You don't want her to say what you're thinking. But you need to know the truth. You need to understand your place here. You couldn't do that in the cell with Beron. And it seems like if you left it up to Rhysand you wouldn't do that here either.
"The Canary Isles are no longer." she answers.
You shake your head, "No, no that can't be. I just came from there. I was brought here! It exists!"
"Not for a long time. The Isles were overcome by powerful tremors that sunk the land into the ocean. Then that land reemmerged as the court of nightmares." Amren explains.
You can't help the feeling of bile in your stomach. Or the fear that is catching your breath. You take out the blade and back yourself up. At your action everyone in the room stands up.
Feyre takes a step closer to you but you raise the blade in her direction. You see Rhysand wrap his arm around her waist.
And that's about all you see before your eyes get wet, and you realize that you've started crying.
"I told you I wanted to go home. And now you're telling me it doesn't exist." you shout.
"I know, I know, but if you give us some time-" Feyre starts.
"You promised!" you cut her off with a yell.
"Stop lying to her, you can't promise something that doesn't exist." Amren keeps going.
"I need you to put that blade down." Azriel says.
You shake your head and try to wipe away the tears in your eyes. With a rough swipe of your palm over your face you do as much as you can.
"I just want to go home. Please let me go home. Please, I'm begging you, just let me go." you sob.
You don't even know what you're asking at this point. If home didn't exist how could they let you go there? No matter how hard you beg they could not bring you to a place that no longer existed.
You don't notice the feeling of something snaking up your legs. You don't notice until it's too late and it binds your wrists together. The blade clatters to the floor loudly.
"I got her," Azriel's voice sounds.
You fall to your knees all at once. The hunger and desperation getting to you. You can hear all of them walking away, almost all of them. You lift your head up to see them. Azriel and Rhysand.
"I am so sorry." Azriel says.
You don't quite understand what he's apologizing for. You look over to Rhysand who looks just as remorseful. You can't understand why, you were a human. Nothing to them.
As you stare into Rhysand's eyes your vision becomes spotty, until it becomes dark all together. The last thing you remember feeling is falling to your side.
-
Azriel and Rhysand watch your unmoving form on the floor. Rhysand didn't want to put you to sleep but he had to. It was the only way to get the situation under control without hurting you physically.
Azriel's shadow lets go of your wrist and they fall apart.
"This doesn't make sense brother." Azriel says.
"I know, but she's been through a lot since her arrival." Rhysand admits.
"An ordinary human girl from a place that no longer exists? We've never delt with this situation before."
Rhysand hums, "Agreed. Maybe we should talk to someone who knows more than us."
"Beron?" Azriel asks.
Rhysand shakes head head. "The other Vanserra."
Azriel sighs, "Mor's not gonna like it. Neither will Cassian."
"Right now he might be the only chance she has. I'll send for him."
-
For the first time you feel at ease. You can picture your dreams so clearly. Your house, filled with your family. Your job filled with your friends and the nice customers. Real. All of it is real.
So why did something feel off?
You can't remember what you were doing before this. Were you sleeping at your house or were you at the tavern? You don't think you were at either one of those places. But if you weren't, where were you?
This is a dream, but the question is, are you going to wake up and like what you find?
-
Eris takes in your sleeping form. He couldn't believe when Rhysand had the nerve to ask him to come over. Of course he know him to be smart and quick, coming up with an excuse to appease Beron.
Officially he is in the night court to negotiate some gifts his father is to recieve on behalf of being attacked. By you.
You.
Unofficially, he is here because of you. For many reasons, and Rhysand seems to only know of one. That's his problem.
Eris knew the moment he saw you, you were someone special. He couldn't show it, lest he have you killed right then and there. But over the course of your stay in his court, he grew quite fond of you. Even if you never knew it.
The way you stood your ground when Beron played and tested you was remarkable. It reminded him of himself and the ever-going game he's been playing with his father. And it renewed his patience. If you could do it, so could he.
Now here you were.
"What did she call it again?" he asks.
Rhysand and Azriel share a look between each other. Then Azriel clears his throat.
"The Canary Isles." he answers.
"Otherwise known as the court of nightmares." Eris finishes off.
"How did you know that?" Rhysand asks.
Eris passes a smirk over his lips, "My father can be quite banal about things. As you know."
"Okay but do you know anything that can help her?" Azriel asks this time.
Eris looks at them now. If his father caught wind of this, Eris doesn't even know how to complete that sentence. Surely he'd be beaten by his own father's hand. Maybe exiled.
"I cannot turn back time, shadow singer." Eris answers carefully.
"We're talking about how she got here." Rhysand clarifies.
"She doesn't know that information, nor do I."
"This was a waste." Azriel says suddenly.
"I agree. Eris you're free to go." Rhysand adds.
Eris sighs, "Wait."
Both of the males look at him. A couple of choice words on their minds. They don't speak them just yet, in hopes of what he might offer them and you.
Eris looks at you once more.
"Beron thought she appeared a couple of weeks ago. But that isn't true." Eris admits.
"Go on..." Rhysand trails off.
Eris cross his arms against his chest. With his brows settled and his face neutral, he schools his shoulders back.
"I found her almost two months ago. When she first appeared in our court. She was laying there on the ground, unconscious. I helped her." Eris confesses.
The room is silent between the three males. Rhysand can't believe the words coming out of his mouth at first. Eris? Helping someone? Surely he is lying and working an angle.
Bur Azriel, he believes him. There is no reason for Eris to play hero. Not for anyone in the night court, and not while you were knocked out. This doesn't benefit him.
And then there is the looks he has on his face. When he looks at you. For the first time in forever Azriel sees this look and thinks that Eris might be capable of emotion behind the mask he wears.
"And if I wake her up, she'll remember that?" Rhysand asks.
Eris shakes his head, "No. I subdued those memories deep in her mind, once she got caught."
Rhysand scoffs.
"So you left her to Beron to fend for herself?" Azriel asks.
"It was the only way she would make it out of there alive. Or at least until I could come up with a plan to get her out of the autumn court." Eris replies.
"Eris, the hero." Rhysand comments.
"You don't understand." Eris quips.
"Enlighten us." Azriel says.
Eris is still for a moment. Uncharacteristically still, even for his own standards. Rhysand doesn't like it one bit, but he'll allow it if he can get some answers from him. This visit has yielded much of them so far.
Then he does something that shocks both males. Instead of answering with words, he lets his shields down. Invites Rhysand into his mind. And enter he does.
But there is only one thing for him to see.
Eris, stood over your body, in the woods. The leaves of autumn beneath you. In this memory, he took a step back. He took several steps back and placed a hand over his chest. A gasp.
Eris puts his shield back up. Rhysand looks at him now.
"She's your mate." Rhysand states.
The three words hung heavy in the air as the three males weighed their options then and there. All the while you lay in a deep slumber none the wiser.
-
You wake up to the feeling of someone touching you. At first you don't quite understand. Who could be touching you right now? Why would someone be touching you?
Then your mind fills in the gaps. You weren't at home. This wasn't your bed. You were in a fae court. Stranded. Being held against your will. Not by the cruel high lord of the autumn court. But of the high lord of the night court.
You lurch out of your sleep. Your eyes fly open.
"Calm down, you're safe. It's okay."
You take him in. Ginger hair. Freckles. Beautiful by your standards and probably fae standards. No. He probably exceeds all of them. You ask yourself who this male is. But you know you don't have the answer to that question.
"Who are you?" you ask quietly.
He smiles for just a sliver of a second. You know you're not imagining it. Or maybe you are. After all you've eaten fae food, you can't trust anything right now.
"A friend." he says.
He takes his hand way from your cheek. You miss the warmth that was there. But you don't dare ask for him to return it.
"I don't have friends here." you reply.
"Maybe we can be friends then. If you'll have me." he says.
You look at him for a moment. His face looks passive. Like he doesn't want to have this conversation. But his words and the way his voice sounds, tell you a different story.
"Can you take me home?" you ask a bit louder this time.
He clears his throat, "I'm working on figuring that out. It's no easy task."
"Impossible things are hardly ever easy." you answer.
He cracks a smile, "I agree."
"You look familiar." you say suddenly.
His eyes widen a bit. He tries to school his face back to neutral but it's too late. You've seen it already. And if he looks familiar, maybe he does know a way to bring you back home. Or it's something more sinister.
"My name is Eris." he greets you formally.
After stroking your face in your sleep. Fae were weird. He holds out his hand for you to take. You move to sit up on the bed. From underneath the covers you take out a hand and shake his with it.
You give him your name. He nods his head once.
"I hope to be of service." he says.
-
It's been weeks of silence. You don't understand it. The fae say say one thing and mean another entirely. Maybe it was the human part of you that took people at their word.
You're learning that won't work here.
Eris wasn't much of a help. You don't even know how to contact him. Even if you could you doubt he'd be able to do something to help you. If he did, he would be here.
And you weren't going to ask any one here. You couldn't trust any of them. Except for maybe that one who told you the truth. No matter how hard it was or you to hear.
You open the door to the room. Your room, you suppose it is now. Slowly you peek your head out to get a glance down the hallway. There's no one there, not even the other creatures that live here.
With bated breath you take careful steps outside of your room. Not like it would really be of nay use, with their hearing abilities and all. But it would show them that you weren't interested in talking.
Walking down the hallway is the easy part. When you get to the staircase is when you begin to doubt yourself. You take the steps two at a time, being barefooted meant less noise against the marble floors.
When you reach the bottom you look both ways. To the left was the dinning room. You would definitely not go in there. To your right was another room. One you hadn't entered before.
You tiptoe over to the door and press your ear against it. The wood is so thick you can't hear anything but muffled voices. You can't tell who is who.
There's a sound and then another. You move to back up but the door flies open before you can get far enough.
It's her.
She looks you up and down. Sizing up her prey no doubt. You don't flinch or shy away from it.
"For a human you're very brave." she says.
You swallow, hoping it isn't loud enough to be detected.
"I wanted to speak to you." you respond.
She nods her head, "Very well, little human."
She turns on her heel without another word. Meaning you were to follow. You take after her, a couple of steps behind. She walks down the hallway on the first floor and out the balcony doors.
You don't have to keep up for too long because she stops and takes a seat in the chairs placed outside. You take the one beside her.
"What did you wish to speak about?" she asks.
"Out of everyone here, you know the most about the Canary Isles. Can you tell me more about what happened?"
She looks at you. Like really looks at you. Maybe she can't believe that you want to hear more about how your home no longer exists. You shift under her gaze.
"I don't think it'll do you any good to hear about it right now. Not when they are working to get you back." she answers.
You shake your head, "You said that was impossible."
"To my knowledge. But I have been wrong before."
"Do you honestly think you're wrong now?" you ask her.
She is silent for a moment. A moment that is riddled with tension and worry. You want her to be wrong. But you get the feeling that she's rarely ever so.
"For your sake, I hope I am."
"please, tell me what happened." you plead.
"It was recorded a long time ago that an ancient creature created the tremors that sunk the island. And it remained underwater due to a powerful spell that was only broken by the first high lord of the night court." she explains to you.
Ancient creatures. Spells. High Lords. All of this seemed like a fever dream. Yes fae existed where you came from, or you should say when, but they weren't the rulers of courts. They lived amongst humans.
But maybe all of that changed.
"This sounds like a long time ago for you." you comment.
"I was not alive when it happened. And I am older than everyone here, so it was a long time ago." she responds.
She's not about to tell you how old she is. And you're not about to ask.
"You're name is Amren, right?" you ask.
She looks at you softly and nods her head.
"Thank you, for talking with me. I really appreciate it."
-
Later that night you are going back to your room. You stood outside after Amren left. She had things to do, but you didn't. You figured you would just sit and try to understand things. Which turned into you taking a nap on the chairs.
The only reason you woke up was because of the change in weather. The night time hit and you felt the cold breeze against your skin. Your mind was fuzzy as you picked your head up. So fuzzy you thought you saw leaves on the ground.
But when you stood up, barefooted on the ground, you realized there were none.
So you shook it off as exhaustion. And you decided to get to bed.
You were walking up the steps when you heard another pair of footsteps. You halted all at once. Then the footsteps stopped. You looked up to see who it was that you couldn't avoid.
Azriel.
"I was looking for you, your room was empty." he says.
You start to question to yourself why he was looking for you in the first place. It's not like the two of you were friends. Neither could he tell you anything about how to get back home.
"Why?" you ask him.
"I wanted to apologize for binding your hands at dinner. That was wrong. I wanted to make sure you didn't hurt yourself or anyone else. But I should have thought of another way." he explains.
You watch him closely. From here, it seems like he cares about you. And you don't have the faintest idea why. You take an apprehensive step up, and then another. You meet him where he is, at the second to last step at the top.
He watches you as you do.
His wings moving behind him. His shadows unruly.
"Why are all of you so intent on keeping me alive?" you question.
He looks take aback that you would ask such a thing. His jaw clenches and you take that to mean you've upset him.
"We would do this no matter who you were." he answers.
And there it is. Those words, were so specific. No matter who you were? So you were someone of importance to them? How? How long will you be important before they discard you?
You can't help the inquisitive look you give him, "So I am someone important? You need me for something?"
Azriel doesn't spare you another look. He walks right past you. His arm brushing yours as he does. You stay right there on the steps. Unmoving.
You look back just in time to see him disappear into his shadows.
-
a/n: annddd that's all I got! sorry this was sitting in my drafts and I wanted to just get rid of it so bad. idk how I feel about it. send me a message in my inbox if you want me to keep going.
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PICK A CARD: a message from your future self
Pick whichever picture you feel more attracted to and skip to that pile.
Pile 1
nine of cups, four of wands (reversed), the magician (reversed).
Okay, but this pile is giving me really sweet vibes, your future self feels like a genuinely carrying person, and looks back at you as a mother figure would. They just want you to be happy and feel welcomed and the energy is overall very heartwarming. Quick thing I want to add before y'all actually read the letter, i don't know if some of you are fans of musicals, specifically of Hamilton, but while I was writing the letter, the melody of dear theodosia was playing in my head so yeah, it might be important for you to know.
"Right now you may feel like you don't fit in, that you lack support, and that you aren't enough. I know you feel insecure but believe when I tell you that you don't have to be scared about that, you are enough and you all the skills and abilities you need to be successful. The universe is working to bring blessings your way, but you have to put some work on it too. Use your intellect, concentration and willpower to make this wonderful things happen, you have the power to manifest the outcome you want. Leave the past behind and put your mind in anything you want to accomplish, I know all our wishes and dreams will become a reality soon enough, for now it's the time of time of happiness, joyfulness and fulfillment."
**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!
Pile 2
page of cups (reversed), strength (reversed), page of pentacles.
I actually had to redo this pile because I got busy with something important mid reading, and when I had time to continue I couldn't really connect to it again, so I pulled other three cards to do the reading again. The vibes then and the vibes in this new one, suggest that your future self know you are having hard times, and are probably dealing with some childhood related issues, but they want to tell you that things will get better. Also something tells me that they REALLY wanted you to get their message, since they sent both the bearer of messages and the bearer of good news.
"You're going through difficult times, and right now I want you to try to connect with your inner child by embracing the fun side of life. I've always loved how we are young at heart, even sometimes a little bit naïve, but lately you've been ignoring your inner emotions and listening too much to people that are bringing you and your self-esteem down. I bring you good news from the future, a future where all our goals are achieved, but that is only possible if you make the right decisions now and put the groundwork necessary. The future I'm from might seem too far away from were you are today, but time passes quickly and is unforgiving, so I want you to take my advise and keep it close to your heart. I know you can become a person who is both mature and young at heart, I've seen it and have been cheering for you through all that journey, because after all I'm you, and I've already done it."
**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!
Pile 3
the fool, strength (reversed), five of swords.
I feel like your future self is encouraging you to start something new, maybe something you always wanted to try but never really made time to give it a chance. They want you to focus on the positive and to stay away from people that don't support your dreams. Overall, I feel this is more of a warning of what's to come, in hopes it helps you to be more prepare to face it.
"You're going to enter a new chapter in your life, it may look like something difficult at first, but you need to tap into your inner strength and don't let your fears and anxiety paralyze you. This new chapter is full of exciting and thrilling adventures, you just have to trust your heart and make a leap of fate. If you are not careful, you might end up self-sabotaging and getting involved in a serious conflict, causing unnecessary stress. When the time is right, I need you to stand up for what you truly want and what you believe."
**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of your message.
You can find more of my PACs on my master list, and if you have any suggestions on future PACs you want to see me do, you can send me and ask.
Bye byeee ✨
#pick a card#tarot#pick a pile#pick a picture#tarot reading#tarot community#free tarot#tarot cards#tarotblr#a message#blush'starot
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love you in slow motion (psh) | three.
♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡
—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, thewarmth of the sun on a winter day. because to him, you��re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.
—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, eventual smut
—word count: 9.7k
—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, hints of a kiss (in a dream), feeling slightly hot & bothered by said dream lol, lots of overthinking (i mean lots!), some jealousy, san takes oc out to a casual dindin, ppl reallllly pushing for the oc x hwa agenda lol, some more seonghwa x oc x charli time, mixed signals, theyre both just sooooo scared of each other lol, sleepover!, sorry if i missed anything since i quickly edited to get this up 🫶🏼
—a/n: hi! sorry for the late update hehe hope you enjoy! the next updates might be a bit slower than usual (and as you can guess, my posting schedule is all sorts of messed up now 💀) but i promise i'll get them up asap! <33
You don't know where you're at.
You're standing in the middle of the road, and it's pouring rain. You're drenched, and the only goal you have right now is to get to the house on the opposite end of the street. You start your walk, picking up your pace as much as possible to get out of the rain. However, with every step you take, you find that you aren't actually moving.
Just stuck in place.
You're trying to run now, but the house only seems to be getting further. You're dying to get out of the rain, the wet seeping through your skin; chilling every bone in your body. You feel yourself starting to cry, but nothing is coming out.
Nothing.
You're just stuck.
Suddenly, someone appears out onto the road ahead of you and you stop. You stop in your tracks, but somehow, you aren't afraid. Their figure feels familiar, their aura comforting. He stands tall, his wavy black hair resting beautifully on his head. He sees you and walks over, an umbrella shielding him from the rain.
"Hwa?" You look up when he finally gets in front of you, a small frown forming at the corners of his lips.
"What's wrong, Y/N?" You shake your head and start crying, while Seonghwa throws his coat over your shoulder and brings you close. "Hey, what's going on?"
"I-I couldn't get to the house—" You point down the street.
"Sh, it's okay. I'm here now. Okay? I'm here." He continues to hold you close, despite your damp clothes against his own. His touch his comforting, his hand pressed at the small of your back.
"Where were you?"
"I'm right here with you." He pulls back slightly, hand coming to tilt your chin. "I'm always right here." His thumb gently caresses your chin. Before you know it, his lips are inches away from yours, seconds away from crashing into yours.
And it happens.
Seonghwa presses his lips to yours and you can't describe the feeling running through your body—
This is by far the second, or third dream you've had with Seonghwa recently, and you're not sure what your mind is trying to tell you. But, you're caught off guard when you realize your heart is thumping out of your chest, and there's this weird aching sensation in between your—
"Shit." You gasp, feeling flustered that you're finding your body reacting to Seonghwa in this way. You dig your head into the pillow, groaning at the thought of seeing Seonghwa in a new light.
But, the thought was here. It had made a home in that itty bitty corner of your brain, now on a mission to haunt you forever.
And maybe, just maybe, it was time to finally face it.
You turn onto your back, staring at the ceiling. It's randomly 3:34am in the morning, and you don't seem to be the least bit sleepy. You let out a heavy sigh and pick up your phone, pulling up your call log and almost pressing Hwa's name by instinct.
Pause.
You've always called Seonghwa when you've had a bad dream, when you simply couldn't sleep, when you just needed company; but tonight, you weren't sure what you were gonna call Seonghwa for.
You just know you're longing for him. Specific reasoning unknown.
"Hwa." You kinda whine into the phone, but Seonghwa is too busy moving around in his bed.
"Mmm? Is everything okay?" He groans even though he picks up like he always does— even if he's half-asleep and on the verge of falling back asleep in 0.2 seconds.
"I can't sleep."
"Bad dream or something? Where's Charli?" You hear him mumble against his pillow, but it's still clear enough for you to hear.
"Yaya wanted her tonight." You turn onto your side, letting the phone sit on the edge of your pillow. "And uh, no. I just woke up randomly."
"So.. try shutting your eyes, Y/N." He sighs a bit.
"I can't. Can you stay on the phone with me for at least 5 minutes?"
"I'm here, aren't I? What's gotten you so shaken up?" He finally hears it in your voice, another small whine and a drip of neediness. And for you, Hwa knows that only means two things:
Something bad happened.
Or, something good that you can't make sense of.
"Nothing."
"Okay." He lets it go. "Maybe you should drink melatonin or tea before bed again." He mumbles again.
"Yeah." You lay on your back again, shutting your eyes as you listen to Seonghwa breathe softly through the phone. It isn't long before you feel your eyes getting heavy, immediately finding comfort in Seonghwa's soft snores.
The next morning, Seonghwa vaguely remembers the phone call, and for a second, he thinks it's a dream. But, when he turns over and sees his phone still connected to the call, he smiles to himself as it's his turn to listen to your soft snores.
He's glad you were able to fall back asleep. It normally doesn't take much, but he takes some kind of pride knowing he's always the first thing that comes to mind when you need comfort, safety. He feels something swell in his chest, and he's not sure what to make out of it.
What to do with it.
When he feels confident that you'd be okay, he ends the call and gets himself up for the day— barely ready to face another day of work. He doesn't like when his sleep is interrupted, and truthfully, it does fuck up his mood. Kinda throws him off balance.
But if it's you, he'll sacrifice. Because he just wants you to be okay, to be happy. He's seen you cry and hurt more times than he'd like to admit.
More times than he's seen you smile.
That's all he really cares about.
You.
"Goodmorning grandpa!" Woo smiles at him. "You look tired, what happened?"
"Just had a broken sleep, is all."
"You sure that's it?"
"Mhm." He looks down at Wooyoung with a brow raised before filling up his water bottle. As expected, Wooyoung doesn't let it down easily and Seonghwa should've been better prepared. "What?" Is all he can respond with this early in the morning, while Wooyoung is beaming with energy and smiling all up in his face.
"Dude, just tell me." Wooyoung smirks at him. "It bothers you, huh? You didn't expect San to actually shoot his shot with Y/N."
"I shouldn't have asked." Seonghwa shakes his head. "Can you just.. get out of my face first?" Wooyoung laughs and sits on the edge of the treatment table, feet dangling back and forth while he waits for Hwa to respond.
"So. Does San shooting his shot with Y/N make you angry?"
"Why would it make me angry? If they're happy, then that's all that matters. I can't control her life, and I'm not gonna get in the way of that."
"But, your feelings." Seonghwa pauses and shrugs, continuing to put a few supplies away.
"I'm not gonna be that person."
"I wish you would just tell her." Wooyoung whines a bit. "I love Sannie, but I think we all know what's truly meant to be."
"We don't." Seonghwa sighs. "Anyway, I want them to figure this out. And if it works, then it does. I'll be happy for them. Point blank period."
"It would hurt though, wouldn't it? Because it's Sannie. Not just some random."
"Course it would." Seonghwa mutters lowly, in hopes of Wooyoung not catching on. But, he does. He sadly catches on. As much as he loves his friends, he truly wishes Seonghwa could just be happy. He knows Hwa could find that in the right places had he just looked. But, he also knows true, genuine happiness would be wherever you are. With you.
He hopes he'll see it come to fruition one day.
The more Seonghwa talks about it though, the more it does hurt him. Because one day, he was planning out how to say this to you. How to sort out his feelings, how to be honest. Finally face the fact that after all these years, he's really loved you.
Then the next day, he's having to can it and scrape the entire thing. Throw the whole damn thing in the trash. Because if it's one thing he does, it's put his friends before himself. Even if it meant sacrificing and killing himself in the process. That's just who he is and he'll remain true to it no matter how much it hurts.
But damn, does it fucking hurt.
"It doesn't matter cause it'll blow over eventually." Hwa turns over his shoulder, hearing a few athletes stroll into the training unit. "Done with this?" He looks at Wooyoung with a brow cocked up.
"Yeah." Wooyoung hops off the table and gets himself together, Seonghwa already greeting the athletes as they walk into the room for their sessions.
"What're you doing later?" Hongjoong pops a chocolate almond into his mouth as he lazily lies down on San's bedroom floor, tired from the workout session they just came back from.
"I'm going to dinner with Y/N." San gives him a dimpled, toothless smile as he stands in front of his closet, wondering what to wear for later.
"Oh, right." Hongjoong yawns. "Is it like.. a casual thing, or like a date-date?"
"Uh, I guess casual?"
"Then why are you standing in front of your closet like it's supposed to be a date-date?" Hongjoong peeks from over the edge of his phone. "And why do you look so nervous?" Hongjoong furrows his brows at San wiping his grubby hands on his shorts.
"I'm not!"
"Mhm. I'm calling Seonghwa." Hongjoong snorts.
"Why would you say that?" San whines a bit. "Can you be honest with me? Is this wrong?"
"I thought it was a casual thing!" San groans.
"It is! But I swear, no matter what, I always feel a little guilty because of Hwa."
"You know for the most part, everyone's just teasing, right?"
"Right, but..?"
"But you know how those two are." Hongjoong sits up. "I don't even mean to discourage you because I know Seonghwa would tell you to go for it.. but you and I both know he's had it for her for years."
"Yeaaaah." San elongates his response with a sigh mixed in. "I don't know. I thought I'd just try and see where things go. I'm not gonna lie, I'm curious even though I probably will never amount to Hwa."
"Don't say that, dude." Hongjoong lets out a small chuckle. "It's just their dynamic, how they are. But, it seems to be fine for them both? At the end of the day, I know Seonghwa would just want Y/N to be happy and that's all that matters. Whatever that looks like."
"Has she ever talked about it? I haven't been here so I don't really know what's been going on between them."
"Nah. Quite frankly, it's the elephant in the room that no one wants to address."
"So, they've just been like that? Nothing's actually changed?"
"Nope. Same ol' Y/N and Seonghwa you know."
"Has Hwa dated anyone?"
"I mean, he's messed around but he hasn't really seriously dated anyone since Linh."
"Okay, so awhile." San nods to himself. "Damn, I don't know. Should I try asking her about it? We are catching up, that's really the main point of this."
"Sure?" Hongjoong shrugs. "I doubt she'd say anything though. Babygirl hasn't opened up to anyone about that and I don't think she will. Just go and enjoy your dinner with Y/N. Whatever happens, happens. Seonghwa will be Seonghwa, and he'll be supportive no matter what." San shakes his head.
"Yeah, I guess so. I just feel kinda bad for even having the thought."
"Seriously. It'll be fine. He'd tell you the same thing, I promise." San shrugs, pushing the idea to the back of his mind. The whole point was to mainly have time to catch up alone, though San isn't gonna shy away from the fact that he is curious to see if he'd have a chance with you.
He knows Hwa would be supportive, but it doesn't stop him from feeling bad. He doesn't wanna hurt anyone, especially friends he hasn't seen in years.
"Should I just wear this sweater?" San turns to Hongjoong, flashing a black sweater his way. Hongjoong is quick to give him a look, immediately shaking his head before laying back down onto the ground; hand tucked behind his head.
"Ew, no. Just throw on a shirt and wear that jacket or something." Joong points at San's black leather jacket. "Black jeans, boots. Simple, but nice."
"You're good at this."
"I thought you'd learn a few things in Barcelona over the past years." Joong shuts his eyes and lets out a sigh. "Guess not."
"Fuck you, dude." San scoffs, heading to the bathroom to get ready.
It's another 30 minutes before San is finally satisfied with how he looks, rushing Hongjoong out of the door as he grabs his keys and wallet. He's shooting a text your way to let you know he'll be there in a few minutes, and that he'd like to say hi to Yaya and Charli before taking you away for dinner. You simply chuckle and set your phone aside, walking into a cloud of perfume before dabbing some lip gloss onto your lips.
"Who are you eating with, Titi Y/N?"
"One of my good friends, San. You'll meet him soon. He's going to come say hi."
"San?"
"Mhm."
"Is Uncle Hwa his friend, too?"
"Yes." You look at her and brush her hair back. "They're really good friends."
"Is Uncle Hwa going?"
"No, pea."
"Why not?"
"Uncle Hwa has other things to do, too."
"But, Uncle Hwa is always with you—" At this point, Yaya gently knocks on the door and pokes her head in, calling for Charli to come towards her.
"Chacha, let's go." Yaya takes her hand. "We can watch a movie until Auntie Y/N comes back." Yaya looks at you. "Is Sannie almost here? I want to see him—"
"Well, speaking of him." You look over her shoulder and wave at San, who is shyly smiling and waving back. He digs his hands into his pockets and walks over, a subtle rosy tint settling on the surface of his cheeks. It's been a long time, he feels. He hopes Yaya still remembers him and adores him the same way.
"Oh, my Sannie." She says, cupping his cheeks. "It's been awhile, look at you! Still so, so handsome!" He shyly chuckles.
"Hi Yaya. It's nice to see you, too." She dusts off his jacket and continues to throw small compliments his way.
"Promise me you'll stick around next time. I wanna hear your stories, too. I'm sure it was beautiful in Barcelona."
"Yeah, it was fun! It's a date." He smiles before shifting his attention to you and Charli, who is shyly pressing herself against your legs while quietly observing him. "Is this the cutie I've heard all about? Charli?"
"Sure is." You gently squeeze her shoulders. "Say hi, Chacha. That's Titi Y/N's friend, San."
"Hi." She waves before tucking her face into your legs.
"She's really not that shy once she warms up to you." Yaya laughs. "Come on, pea. I've got our movie and popcorn ready to go." She runs to Yaya and grabs her hand. "You two have a good dinner!"
"Thanks, Yaya." San gives her one last hug before waving at Charli. "Shall we?" You nod, walking alongside of him to the car. As always, San opens your door first before climbing in the driver's seat. It's a little quiet and awkward at first because it has been some years since you two have talked. You're sure things have changed for San and vice versa.
But, when you get to the restaurant, you realize he's still the same San you've known all these years.
He awkwardly swings his arm around you, giving your shoulder a small squeeze as you enter the restaurant. He's stiff, unsure of what to do with himself around you, and it kinda makes you giggle.
He's always been like that.
When the host brings you towards the back to your table, his hand slips into yours and it feels.. unnatural for whatever reason. Everything just seems too forced for two people who probably truly adore each other as friends and nothing more. Which, is fine. There's nothing wrong with it. Reality hits you quick when you sit and smile at San in front of you. You know it's not a serious date, and you feel a tad bit bad feeling relieved that it isn't. Even though San looks incredibly good and so, so handsome, the initial infatuation has slipped away from you because San is one of your bestfriends and that's how you've always cherished him.
"So." You giggle when he flips through the menu and shifts in the seat. "How's everything been, Y/N?"
"I don't know, same old, I guess? Yaya's still healthy and going, Soyeon and Junseo are good. Charli's good. Restaurant is busier than ever."
"That's good. Yoongi's still there?"
"Yeup! Jini is there, too. I don't think you've met her, but she's a college student working part-time. My life saver honestly, she gives me a lot of breaks." San chuckles. "How's your family? I'm sure they're happy to have you back."
"Yeah, they're good. They're the same, too. Not much has changed." Your phone dings and it's Seonghwa sending you a random tweet that only you two would understand. He sends the laughing emoji, followed by another text about it.
"Sorry." You click your phone on the side to lock it.
"It's all good. But, yeah. They're the same."
"Your parents come to the restaurant from time to time."
"I know, they love it there. They've just been so busy lately with renovating the house that they're barely going out."
"Aw." You chuckle.
"Are you good to order?" You nod, swiftly apologizing when you accidentally kick San's foot under the table before ordering. The silence between you two isn't entirely unsettling, but it does feel weird after years of being away from each other. Plus, San feels like's trying way too hard to make this go a certain way when he shouldn't.
He's too fixed on it.
"San." You call for him when you find him glancing out the window nervously. "You okay?" You lean onto the palm of your hand and give him a smile.
"Sorry. I'm just nervous and I don't know why."
"Don't be. We've always been friends. Nothing has changed between us." He looks at you and the statement kinda breaks his heart. Maybe you two were really just meant to be friends. "Tell me! How was the program? Barcelona?"
"Ridiculously hard. I literally had no life, kinda why I fell off the grid and barely posted or anything."
"I'm sure it was worth it, no?"
"Definitely. Everything there is so different there. In a good way, though. It felt like a breath of fresh air for me."
"Did you date anyone?"
"Uh, yeah. I guess I'll tell get into that later." He clears his throat. "What about you, though? Are you into anyone?"
"Uh, no. And, I haven't really been seeing anyone."
"Mingi?"
"It was complicated, but I'm finally done with that." You poke at the appetizer that was brought out.
"I'm glad because he doesn't deserve you."
"Hm." You hum. "But otherwise, not much has changed. I think." San watches how you quickly pick up the phone when it dings again, and although it's not really an issue, he can tell how much your body language shifts from the text alone.
It's probably Hwa.
"Y/N. You're one of my really good friends, right?" You giggle and nod.
"Yeah, Sannie."
"So, can I ask you something? I want you to be completely honest with me."
"Of course."
"Is there anything going on between you and Hwa?" You look at him, down at your phone and then back at him. Because no, you're not really sure how to answer the question. Yes, but no? If this were any other day, you'd probably answer confidently. But today, things felt different. You can't say no without automatically second-guessing yourself.
"N-no? Why would you ask that? We've always been this way."
"I know, but. I just.." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Nevermind. It's probably dumb."
"No, tell me." He looks up at you just as he lets out a small breath, cocking his head to the side.
"Don't call me lame or make fun of me, okay?"
"Sannie." You let out a small, playful but defeated chuckle. "I won't, you know me." You take a bite from your plate.
"I don't know, I'm not going to lie. I've always had a little crush on you since we've known each other, and coming back, I truthfully thought it was a phase that might have gone away. It's not. I still have that crush on you, and I thought I'd see where it goes but—" San is rambling and you can't help but let out a small giggle at how frustrated he's getting. "I— I'm rambling. Sorry."
"No, San. It's okay."
"My point is, I thought there was a chance to explore this.. this time around." He gives you a tiny pursed smile. "But, if I'm being honest. I can see the way Seonghwa looks at you. I think we all can."
"Um. I don't know what to say? I don't think he sees me that way."
"Y/N." He cocks his head to the side, giving you a look as to say 'you know better than that.'
"Seriously!"
"What about you, though?"
"He's my bestfriend. Of course I love him and adore him to bits." You avoid eye contact and San isn't sure why that's the telling sign for him. But, you've deflected and didn't really answer the question. So, he's not sure what else to think.
"Are you happy?"
"I am."
"Truly happy? With how everything is?"
"I-I don't know. I think so. I'm.. content." He nods because for whatever reason, that answer tells him a lot more than it probably tells you.
"The last thing I wanna do is ruin things between my friends."
"I—We're just friends, Sannie." You don't even realize how low and pained your voice sounds when you let the response slip from your lips. "I think this is as good as it gets for us." San just looks at you because he notices how you nervously fiddle with your fork and poke with your food. Avoid eye contact. Respond lowly. Maybe you just hate talking about the topic in general. Maybe you do like Seonghwa and you're in denial. Whatever it is, San doesn't think this is as good as it gets for you two.
Which, truthfully, is a little heartbreaking for him. He kinda saw it coming. Everyone did. He just thought there was a possibility since he came back and you two were still just friends.
San can tell Seonghwa will always be number one for you. And that's okay. He's glad he is. You two work well together, and Seonghwa will put his life down for you over anyone. He's just sad because he believed he had a chance and today confirms he doesn't. He never did and he probably won't in the future.
This is as good as it gets for you two— you two as in you and San.
"Y/N." He calls for you once more when he notices your attention drifting off to the food on your plate, avoiding all eye contact.
"Hm?" You hum with a tiny smile.
"You know it's totally okay if there is, right?" You sigh and shrug. "You should just go for it."
"It's just not that easy."
"Whatever it is, I just want you to be genuinely happy." You pause. "And I truthfully think the answer has been in front of you the entire time."
"Can't get anything past you, can I?" You joke and give him a tiny, toothless smile.
"I'm afraid not." He laughs.
"I missed you." You let out a breath, cocking your head to the side as you observe him. Overall, he seems okay. He seems good. He seems happy.
You adore this Sannie, and you will always adore and cherish him the same way you always have.
"I missed you, too."
"So, can we talk a bit more about what else you've been up to over there? Your dating stories?"
"I'd be happy to tell you more." San smiles and continues to tell you about his adventures in Barcelona while the two of you dig into your main courses. Exploring and being on his own for the most part. He finally opens up about dating while he was out there, and how he had a few one night stands. He met a girl he did actually get into a rather serious relationship with, but he ended things since he knew he was coming home and didn't want her to plan her life around him. He wasn't the type to do long-distance relationships simply because he knew he wouldn't be able to pull it off.
The rest of dinner goes by smoothly, the two of you thoroughly enjoying each other just letting things be. Dinner made you realize that you missed having San by your side, and it made you remember all the times in college when you sat up late nights talking about everything and anything while everyone was asleep. You missed having that connection with him, and it feels good to have it back.
Though, you won't lie that San is incredibly attractive and someone you'd definitely fall for in another lifetime; being this way, not forcing things between you two and rebuilding your friendship after years felt the most right.
Your heart was just in another place.
When you get home, San opens your door and gives you a quick hug and a kiss to the temple before bidding you goodnight and sending his love to Yaya and Charli. It's just about Charli's bedtime so you quickly pick her up from the house to let Yaya rest and get her ready for bed with a quick wash up. Just as you respond back to Seonghwa's text, a call comes through on your phone from Soyeon.
"Hey." You press the phone against your shoulder while you continue to brush Charli's hair before bed.
"How's my daughter doing?"
"Good. Having the time of her life without you guys, actually." Soyeon laughs.
"Well, at least she isn't giving you problems."
"How's Japan?"
"Good! Warm. Fun."
"Gonna bless me with another niece or nephew?"
"Can you not?" You laugh.
"Doesn't hurt to ask, jeez."
"Anyway." She clears her throat. "I meant to call because I wanted to ask you about your dinner with San."
"You remembered?"
"Course I did, the heck? I was hoping to hear some juicy details by now."
"Nothing juicy. He's still the same Choi San." You chuckle.
"So, I'm guessing your little crush was actually just a little crush."
"Hey, he's attractive." You shrug. "But, I think we're always just going to be friends."
"Hm, cause of Hwa?"
"Now, why would you say that?"
"I digress."
"No please, enlighten me. Because even San had asked me if there was anything going on between us."
"Did he now? What'd you say?"
"Yeah, he did. And I said no, because what would be going on between me and Hwa?"
"Nothing." She sighs. But the silence definitely doesn't last long. "You know what, actually. I do appreciate San asking you that question. I wish you'd stop brushing it off." You sigh.
"What am I possibly brushing off?"
"The fact that you probably have feelings for your bestfriend, too. You're just afraid to admit it because you're afraid of things changing, or that Hwa doesn't actually feel the same. We can all see it, Y/N."
"I highly doubt it, it's just how we've grown to be."
"Girl, that man will lay down his life for you and drop everything just to be there for you in a heartbeat. He's done that for you since ever. You still think he doesn't feel that way for you?" Silence. "I'm just saying. A bestfriend doesn't always have to be at your beck and call because you're two different individuals running two very different lives. But quite frankly, Seonghwa is the one exception to that. He puts you before anything and anyone without question. If that ain't true, genuine love Y/N, I don't know what it is."
"You guys make this hard."
"Do we, or are you making it hard for yourself?" You sit and pause some more, quickly running through all of the moments Seonghwa has come to save you throughout the years. Be there for you. Lend an ear. Hug you and console you. Stay up with you. Find you in the rain when your ex-boyfriend let you leave. Held your hair back during shitty, wasted nights. Catered to you while you were sick. Helped your family; Soyeon, Yaya, Charli.
He was so, so immersed in your life that you didn't even realize how much he was. How deep it had gone for you and Seonghwa. How much Seonghwa had been there for you, more than you for him. There was no comparison.
Yet, he never complained once.
He never complained about putting you first.
"Mm, well. Just putting my two cents out there. You know I love you, right? And I just want you happy. Someone like Mingi doesn't deserve a good, beautiful person like you." Soyeon tries to cushion the blow, lecture, whatever you wanna call it, by reminding you about how much she cares for you.
"I know. I love you, too."
"Well, let me know how the aquarium goes tomorrow. And think about it, okay?"
"Mhm. Be safe with Junseo."
"Will be!" She ends the call, leaving you to sit and ponder on your thoughts longer than you'd like. Soyeon was right. You were just afraid, though. Why would Seonghwa have feelings for you like that when you two have known each other for long? You're convinced he'd always see you as his bestfriend, a pain in the ass, the one that he could never explore those territories with.
Today had you questioning everything. Revisiting everything, wondering what signs you've possibly missed. Your dreams. And now, you can't get it out of your head that maybe, you do love your bestfriend. That maybe, your heart was being saved for him. You can't deny the fact that you're curious.
"What's Uncle Hwa doing?"
"I don't know, pea. Probably busy." You finish brushing her hair and let out a breath, relieved Jini was able to help close up tonight and give you a break tomorrow. You were exhausted and you didn't realize just how much.
"Can you call him?"
"Cha, I'm sure he's busy."
"Call, Auntie Y/N. Please." She whines and you sigh, picking up the phone to Facetime Hwa.
"We're seeing him tomorrow, Charli."
"Ya, but.." Is all she responds with, eyes glued to the tv screen. "I w-wanna talk to Uncle Hwa."
"About what?"
"Tomorrow."
"He'll come." When Hwa finally picks up the Facetime call, you're only able to see his forehead and his eyes through the screen.
"What?" You furrow your brows at his incredibly sweet greeting.
"Jeez, hi to you, too."
"What're you calling me for?"
"For the record, it's not me calling you. Chacha wanted to talk to you for whatever reason." You hand her the phone. "Here, talk to your oh so loving Uncle Hwa." He snorts.
"Uncle Hwa!" She holds the phone loosely, also only showing off her tiny forehead and eyes through the camera.
"Yes, baby?"
"Are we still going to the aquarium tomorrow?"
"Yeah, we are. I'll pick you up in the morning, okay?"
"Okay." She giggles. "With Auntie Y/N, right?"
"Only because she asked to come." You glare at him from afar while fixing in your bathroom.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Laying down. Did you eat?"
"Mama made ramen."
"Hm, okay."
"Say goodbye, Cha. We have to go to bed."
"Oh. I have to go, Uncle Hwa." She looks down into the camera, making Seonghwa chuckle at how cute she looks. "Bye bye!"
"Sleep well, pea." Seonghwa says before clearing his throat. "Actually, can you put Auntie Y/N on the phone really quickly, please?"
"Titi Y/N!" Charli yells loudly. "Phone, phone, phone!"
"Okay, thank you!" You grab the phone from her, Charli running to your bed and getting under the blankets. "What is it?"
"What time do you guys wanna head to the aquarium tomorrow? Do you wanna go as soon as it opens in the morning?"
"Why, do you have other plans?"
"No, I'd rather just get in there when there isn't a big crowd yet."
"Yeah, that's fine."
"Breakfast, too?"
"Okay. So, what time should we be ready?"
"9am?"
"Okay."
"Well." Seonghwa shifts in his position. "If you need me again tonight, don't. I'm busy."
"Shut up, doing what?"
"Busy not picking up your calls."
"You idiot." He laughs.
"See you tomorrow. Give Cha a kiss for me." You look into the camera and roll your eyes before shutting off the call and getting into bed with Charli.
"Want some more?" Seonghwa looks at Charli as she eats a tiny cut of his pancake. She happily nods, picking at a blueberry off to the side of her plate. He cuts her a few tiny pieces, setting it onto the top. "What about you?" He looks at you.
"Can I have a little bite?"
"Here." He cuts you a half of his pancake and sets it on your plate.
"Uncle Hwa!"
"Mhm?"
"Do we get to see the penguins? A-and seals? A-and snakes, and jellyfishies, and starfishies!" Seonghwa laughs and nods, setting his empty plate aside.
"Yeah, we'll get to see all of that." Hwa calls the waitress over and immediately hands her his card to pay for the meal.
"Finish your food, pea. We'll see them as soon as you do."
"I'm done! I'm done!" She giggles.
"One more." Hwa forks the last piece of the pancake slice, popping it into her mouth before wiping away at it.
"I'm ready!" The waitress hands Seonghwa the receipt, giving him the opportunity to sign off on their receipt copy before tucking his away in his wallet.
"Good, me too!" He smiles at her and carries her out of the restaurant. You trail behind, watching as Seonghwa points at the birds flying around near the beach. The aquarium and restaurant were nestled on a small street right by the beach, gift shops and other cafes sitting alongside of them. It surprisingly isn't too busy yet, though you know the street and the aquarium will become crowded in the next hour or so. Seonghwa pauses in his steps and turns to wait for you while Charli continues to point out the seagulls sitting on the edge of the wooden rail that lines the walkway to the beach.
"Let me pay for the aquarium tickets."
"Nah, it's good. Don't worry about it."
"Hwa, you paid for our breakfast already."
"It's okay." He looks at you. "I wanted to take Charli out today."
"Oh, not me?"
"Not really." You playfully pinch him, causing Hwa to let out a small groan and a laugh. "I'm kidding. Seriously, it's not a big deal."
"Thank you." You give him a cute, toothless smile. After Charli finishes observing the seagulls around the beach, the three of you continue to walk towards the aquarium. Cars are slowly piling into the free spots on the road, and the street is becoming busier by the minute. The three of you wait at the corner of the street, waiting for the walk sign to come on in order to cross and finally make it to the aquarium. Just as the light turns red and switches the walk sign on, you step forward to make it across. But, you pause in your steps when you realize the oncoming car isn't stopping any time soon and Seonghwa picks up on it quick. He grabs onto your hand tightly and pulls you back, keeping Charli close to his side when the car continues to run the red light— barely slowing its speed.
"Idiot." He mutters to himself before looking at you, the both of your hands clasped together. "Careful."
"Thanks, pichu." He gives you a tiny smile before leading the way down the crosswalk, still holding onto your hand with Charli on his other. You like the way Seonghwa's hand fits so effortlessly into yours, the way it feels so natural, so meant to be—
"Uncle Hwa! Look!" Charli releases her grip from Seonghwa's hand and runs towards the seal statue near the ticket window. Seonghwa lets go of yours in an effort to run after her and make sure she doesn't wander too far, leaving you behind; suddenly feeling cold, empty. He doesn't spare a look back at you, busy snapping Charli's pictures while she poses next to the statue. You slowly head over, chuckling as Charli directs him on how to shoot the pictures.
"Look." Seonghwa shows her the pictures. "I'll send it to your mom and dad."
"Aw, Chacha. You look so cute. Who taught you how to pose like that?"
"You. And Mama." You laugh, fixing her piggytails while Seonghwa sends the pictures off and heads over to the window to buy the tickets. You hold onto Charli's hand as you two slowly approach the entrance, Seonghwa waving the tickets in the air to show off to Charli before handing it to the person at the door.
It's a slow start at first, with Charli glued to your hip as she holds your hand— bright eyes full of curiosity as they examine the surroundings. Seonghwa grabs a pamphlet that has the aquarium map included, suggesting to go straight into the marine life and coral reef section. As you walk in, the area is dimly lit, with the only light from the tanks bouncing off of the walls. Charli's eyes glow as she runts to the first tank full of jellyfish swimming around. She squeals when she waddles over to the clownfish touch pool, Seonghwa coming to her side and guiding her little finger across the surface to get a feel for their calcified skin. You giggle when she whines a bit at the feeling, Seonghwa reassuring her that they wouldn't bite or bother her.
Safe to say she was over it pretty quickly.
Eventually, you reach the coral reefs. Your eyes light up as you scan the entire tank against the wall, a variety of sea life co-existing and swimming through the clean waters. You sit Charli on the edge of the rail while you hold her close, letting her get up close and personal to the variety of fish swimming around the reefs. She looks up in awe, squealing and giggling to her heart's content when they pass her by and go along their merry way. Seonghwa comes from behind, surprising you with how close his chest is to your back.
"Chacha, did you see that?" He points from behind, chest now barely grazing your back. Any other time, you probably wouldn't have cared or looked into it much. But for some reason, today is different. You're not sure if it's because of the dream you had, or Soyeon's phone call— either or, or both. But today is different. You can't help but fix on how close Seonghwa's face would be if you were to turn to your left, on how he could literally engulf you in his arms and hold you close.
And the funny thing is, you don't think you'd push him away or dislike it one bit.
As if the universe was tuning into your thoughts, a fish comes swimming closely near the glass, causing Seonghwa to press up against your back and hold Charli's hand to the surface. He doesn't seem to pay any attention to what he's doing, chuckling with Charli as he continues to tell her what kind of fish it is. This might be a normal thing to him but to you, it's not.
Because now, your heart is beating against your chest [you hope to God he doesn't feel it]. Your palms feel sweaty. You're swallowing the lump in your throat. The room feels a teeny bit hotter.
"Titi Y/N, let's go!" Chacha whines a bit. You snap out of the trance you were just in, even though Seonghwa hasn't done much to create distance behind you. He looks down at you from the side, cocking a brow when he notices your delayed reaction.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, sorry." You put Charli down, following her direction as she leads you into the kelp forest exhibit, pointing at all the different fish she sees. There's a play area off to the side that she instantly finds interest in once she's gotten a good look at the sea life, romping around and digging her hands into the different activities laid out for toddlers. Seonghwa lingers around to supervise, with you trailing slowly after you've gotten to indulge in the exhibit. You loop your arm around Seonghwa's and he lets you, keeping you close to his side as Charli continues to play around in the play area.
"Hey, thanks for taking us today." He looks down at you and lets out a breathy chuckle.
"Wow, a thank you that I didn't have to initiate? That's a first." You gently punch him.
"I'm serious, pichu!"
"It's no biggie. As long as Chacha's happy."
"Yeah, she is."
"So, you never told me."
"What?"
"How was that dinner with Sannie?" Seonghwa asks, avoiding eye contact.
"It was cool. We mainly caught up." You shrug.
"That's all?"
"Why, do you think there's more? Did Sannie say something to you?" You nervously poke at him, but you're not sure if you're helping your case or making it worse.
"What?" Seonghwa looks at you. "I'm asking you. He didn't say anything to me."
"Oh, yeah. We just caught up about life. His program. Family stuff. Things you already know."
"Uh huh." Seonghwa cocks a brow up. "Why are you being so weird then?"
"I'm not!"
"Did he say something to you?"
"Seonghwa, no. I'm not being weird about anything."
"You're also a very bad liar."
"I'm not even lying, though." You sigh and let go of his arm. He won't let up, and it's only because you're so close to cracking. Even though San truthfully didn't mention anything specific about the dinner, you've been acting weird since he picked you up this morning. The way you look at him feels different, and the way you've been latching onto him is different. Not that he's complaining, but something has shifted in the air and he doesn't know what to make of it. But what he does know is you— he knows you, so, so well, and thats one thing he won't lose at. "I just—"
"Auntie! Uncle Hwa! Let's go to the penguins!" Charli yells as she runs towards you and grabs your hand. She begins to drag you over, telling you to hurry. "Uncle Hwa, come on!" You look at him and subconsciously grab for his hand to drag him along at the three year old's speed. Seonghwa follows along, having to pick up Charli in his arms so she's able to see properly. When he lets go of your hand, your heart sinks a bit and it must have registered on your face because Seonghwa has to do a double take. He catches how your smile fades and how you awkwardly fiddle with your fingers while looking out at the penguins. You brush it off pretty quickly though, with the way you giggle with Charli and pinch her cheeks when she happily waves at them. "I wanna go see the big dinos now!" She points to the dinosaur exhibit just down the other end of the room.
"Okay, let's go!" Seonghwa looks at you and holds out his arm, hoping that's the kind of comfort you were seeking for. Truthfully, he knows what you're asking for but part of him isn't sure why. And to be fair to you, to himself, he'll continue to keep it at bay until he's sure of what you're asking from him.
He doesn't wanna get his hopes up because it'll break him if you don't genuinely feel the same way he does.
And lowkey, he is a bit confused as to why you're acting needy all of a sudden. You've had your moments but Seonghwa knew to play it off because it felt innocent, like a bestfriend-honestly-bothering-her-bestfriend-just-because-he's-there kinda thing. Today, it didn't feel that way, especially when he looks at you and it seems like you wanna say something but you don't. Especially when you tug on his arm ever so subtly, hand teasing his so closely by the wrist.
What is it about today?
Why were you sending him mixed signals?
"What were you gonna say earlier?" Seonghwa asks while you continue to cling onto his arm.
"Oh, nothing." You decide you won't tell him about San's questions, or his sudden deep-dive into your relationship and feelings. You're hoping it stays between you two because lord knows you aren't ready to tackle that subject with Seonghwa right now, nor do you think Seonghwa would actually feel the same. Or, have the patience to deal with all the jumbled thoughts in your head about him. Little do you know. "We just caught up. That's all."
"Are you sure that was it? You know I hate liars, Y/N."
"Well, the subject about dating came up." You run through the sentence so fast that Seonghwa has to look down at you while trying to read into your expression. Whatever it was that was bothering you, he hopes you can talk to him about it. He'd be there to listen and offer his guidance no matter what.
Always you first.
"What about dating?"
"He asked if I was into anyone." You generally state now that Seonghwa's indulging in the conversation.
"Hope you didn't say Song Mingi." You gently nudge him.
"No, I didn't." You roll your eyes.
"Did you tell him you had a crush on him?"
"No."
"Hm." Seonghwa hums. "I still don't understand where you're going with this? What happened between you two?"
"Nothing."
"At all?"
"Look. I went to dinner with San and as I sat there, I realized he's still the Sannie I adore from years before. I just couldn't see him any other way."
"Whatever happened to 'he's so cute, Hwa'?" He mocks you. "Sannie is soooo cute, he would never date me." Seonghwa continues. "He'd never give me a chance, would he? Huhuhu—" His bottom lip pokes out.
"Quit, what is wrong with you!"
"I didn't say it, you did."
"I just realized some things, and I think he did, too."
"You're being so fucking cryptic, it's making my head hurt." Seonghwa rolls his eyes before returning his attention to Charli playing around with the dinosaur activities.
"How am I being cryptic?"
"You tell me everything, yet you can't even tell me what happened during your dinner with San without beating around the bush." You look at him with a small pout and he almost feels his knees buckling because god, he is so weak for you sometimes. But, because of that, he finds himself getting easily frustrated when you can't just be straight up with him. "So, where does this leave you two?"
"As friends. Like we always were." You tug on his wrist. "Hypothetically speaking, if we were to date, would that ruin things between us?" Seonghwa swallows the lump in his throat before shaking his head.
"Why would it ruin things between us?"
"I don't know, because we've always known each other like this. As bestfriends. It could be a dangerous thing, right? Cause we'd know too much about each other or whatever." You look up at him, and he locks his eyes with yours. He wishes he could say everything and nothing at once— but he sticks with the latter, his own example of keeping everything at bay.
"I truthfully don't think it'd ruin anything."
"B-because I feel like it would and that's why I'm just letting things be with San."
"You sure that's it? Cause I feel like you're asking for a different reason, and not for San in particular." He tilts his head to the side, and you're afraid he's reading into your mind. He's good at that shit, and you hate it. Because no, that's not it. He must know, that's why he's looking into your soul, patiently waiting for the truth to come out. "Y/N, I think—"
Seonghwa is why. He is the reason why you can't find yourself moving anywhere with San.
"I'm done! Let's go!" Charli runs up to Hwa's legs, interrupting the staring contest you two had going on just as he was about to carry on. You clear your throat and step away from him, focusing your attention on Charli.
"Wanna see all the bugs and snakes, pea? They're down there in that small section." You point down the hall and she grabs your hand.
"Yes! Let's go, let's go!" She repeatedly yells. "Uncle Hwa, come on! Slow poke!" He chuckles to himself, following the both of you into the insects exhibit.
As you, Charli and Seonghwa continue to go through the rest of the aquarium, you find yourself focusing on how well Seonghwa takes care of Charli. He continues to keep her smiling; throwing giggle fits when he swoops her into his arms and blows raspberries against her tummy. He patiently walks through every exhibit with her hand in his, pointing at the animals while giving her a fun fact or two. You rarely have to lift a finger because Seonghwa continues to keep her occupied, while also keeping you happy.
You don't have to ask for anything, and Seonghwa continues to deliver.
Towards the end, Charli asks for Seonghwa to take her into the gift shop. You find yourself wandering around, eyes fixed on the cute octopus plush they have on display. You set it down, convincing yourself you don't really need the damn thing [but it'd be nice]. By the time you've made your way around the store, you catch Seonghwa and Charli at the register— the same octopus plush in his hands. For a minute, you think it's for Chacha until you realize she already has a turtle plush she's hugging close to her chest. It isn't until Seonghwa turns towards you with a small smile, digging his wallet back into his pocket.
"Here."
"What, this is mine?"
"I wasn't the one looking at it." Seonghwa chuckles a bit. "Take it before I regret it."
"Hwa." You whine a bit, bottom lip poking out into a pout. "You didn't have to."
"You looked like you were having trouble putting it down so yeah, I guess I kinda had to."
"You paid for everything today." He shrugs.
"It's fine. I don't always find myself here, anyway." You hug him tightly, taking everything in while he pretends to be disgusted by the affection. "Please."
"You love me."
"I was forced to." You playfully punch him as you pull away, causing him to let out a small 'ow.'
"By the way, were you gonna say something earlier before Chacha dragged us to the insects?" Seonghwa pauses and he wants to yes. He does want to say something. He knows you weren’t talking about San. He wants you to know you’re all he wants. He wants to say he loves you, and adores you, and wants to take care of you if you'd just let him.
"Nah. It wasn't anything."
"You sure?"
"Mhm." You look at him and subtly frown at the way he looks conflicted, puzzled. But, he brushes off quick cause he knows you'll read into him, too.
"Mmkay then. Are you going to stay at my place for a bit or just drop us off?"
"I'll hang out for a bit. Ready?" He looks down at Charli, who has been entirely smitten over her turtle plush these past few minutes. She's completely oblivious to you two, barely paying any attention now that she has a new toy in hand.
"Yeah, let's get out of here." He nods in agreement, crouching down to Charli's level. "Ready to go, Chacha?"
"Yes please." She nods, letting Seonghwa hold her hand.
"You tired? Did you have fun at least?"
"I did." Is all Charli says as you make your way out of the now very busy aquarium. She yawns as she holds her turtle plush tight against her chest. Seonghwa pauses in his steps and waits for you to walk alongside of him, never wanting you to get left behind or lose sight of you. Once you finally catch up, you hold onto his arm while navigating through the crowded streets. Eventually, Seonghwa has to carry Charli and hold your hand in order to breeze through the rest of the crowd.
"Are you guys hungry for anything? Need anything before we go home?" The question slips from Seonghwa's lips so naturally, it almost seems like this is a normal, daily routine for you two. You nod though, remembering you do have a few groceries you'd like to grab.
Seonghwa doesn't complain.
He takes you to the market to give you some time to grab your groceries, staying in the car while Charli naps in her carseat. You're in and out, gently setting your bags on the floor in the backseat before settling into the passenger's seat. You and Seonghwa don't talk much on the way back home for the sake of Charli, only chiming in when you or Seonghwa have a pressing question to ask the other.
When you finally touch base at home, Charli wakes up in Seonghwa's arms while he carries her into your suite. You usher her into the bathroom for a quick bath before slipping her into some comfy pajamas. Seonghwa is relaxing on the couch, randomly watching Loki while waiting for you two to be finished.
"What're you gonna cook for dinner later?"
"Not sure. I might see what Yaya has. I'm too lazy." He chuckles.
"Put those groceries to use." He stands and heads to the kitchen. "I can make something, but it'll sit out for awhile until dinner."
"It's fine." You brush Charli's wet hair before sitting her in between your lap to dry her hair. "What're you doing later anyway?"
"Nothing."
"Why don't you just hang out and stay or something?"
"You want me to?"
"Why not?" He shrugs.
"Don't wanna invade your space or whatever you say." You laugh.
"I'm telling you to stay."
"Alright then."
"Don't sound too excited, jeez." He laughs.
"What do you want me to say?" Seonghwa smiles and gently tickles at Charli's stomach. "At least I'll be with Chacha!" She giggles as you continue to dry her hair. "Gonna wash up." He heads to your closet to go through the random assortment of bottoms and tops that you've borrowed [kept].
Throughout the rest of the afternoon and early evening, Seonghwa indulges in Charli's antics and plays along with her— giving you some time to clean around the suite and help Yaya with a few things in the house. As night time falls, Seonghwa is quick to make dinner for you and Chacha, putting all of the cooked dishes in front of you on the coffee table while you watch a movie with Charli. Once he's satisfied and cleans up after himself in the kitchen, he settles on the opposite side of Charli and indulges in Encanto playing loudly on the screen.
After dinner, you help Seonghwa clean up before you're getting Charli ready for bed and tucking her in. Seonghwa has made a little bed in your tiny living room area floor— pushing the coffee table up so that you three can lay comfortably. When Monsters University comes on, you find that Seonghwa is invested but.. isn't? He's constantly checking his phone, and you shouldn't be annoyed because it's probably the boys.
But, you are.
It's probably the boys.
Right?
Why does it matter?
"Are you watching?" You squint at him and he quickly finishes his text before he plops the phone down on his chest and looks at you.
"Yeah?"
"No, you're not." You give him a look. "Are you texting the boys?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" He teases and you roll your eyes. "I'm kidding. Yes, and someone I met a couple of days ago."
"What? You never told me about that."
"I didn't tell you because it's just that. We met and we're just casually talking about things."
"A girl?" He nods.
"Uh huh. Her cousin plays for the football team and she was visiting during training."
"Oh, interesting. Are you like.. interested in her?" You divert your attention to the movie.
"Uh." Seonghwa pauses and shrugs, even if you aren't looking at him. "I'm just seeing where things go? Do I need to have a reason right now?"
"No. I'm just wondering." He picks up his phone again when it dings.
"But Uncle Hwa, I thought Titi Y/N was y-your girlfriend." She stutters as she keeps her eyes on the movie.
"Mm, she is my friend who is a girl, Chacha. My bestfriend."
"But, my mommy said—"
"Okay, let's watch the movie, pea." You cut her off and she happily obliges. "You too, Uncle Hwa." You glare at him once more before smacking him on the bicep.
"Ouch, stop. I'm watching." He whispers harshly, yet continues to text.
"Pichu." You whine "You stop." He grabs your hand before you could land your next hit. He chuckles as he holds onto it, not wanting to let go but to also make his point that you aren't winning this fight. "Hwa." You whine even more.
"I win."
"Fine." You pout and he pinches your cheek.
"Loser." He smiles. "I'm watching, okay? I'm done." He sets his phone to the side and gives you a look. "See?"
"Mhm. What else could possibly be more important than us?"
"Drama." He laughs. "Why does it matter anyway, you're gonna fall asleep in two—"
"Uncle Hwa, Titi Y/N. Movie." Charli says looking at the both of you before shifting her attention back to the TV. You pinch Seonghwa on the shoulder, causing him to silently wince in pain before the both of you finally pay attention to the movie.
It's not long before you feel your eyes getting heavy, and you hate to admit that Seonghwa knows you so well. Charli hadn't fallen asleep too long ago, sandwiched in between you and Seonghwa— her hair a mess on the pillow. She's letting out some soft snores, her hand resting lazily on her chest.
She must've had a long, but good and fun day.
Seeing her this comfortable and content makes you even more sleepy. So much more sleepy that within the next scene, you're fast asleep with your head resting against Chacha's. Seonghwa figures it's a bit too quiet— too quiet especially for someone like you, who is the main yapper between the two of you.
He looks at you and smiles softly to himself.
His heart does a thing; it always does a thing, but in these moments it feels too intense for him to register. He just wants this.
And it's so hard for him to fight it off when there's that glimmer of hope saying you feel the same way.
That you want this, too.
Especially after today. Because he knows you well, so well, and he knows there are things you meant to say but you couldn't. He understands, though. He wants to say a lot, he's just not sure how. But god, does he hope he's right for once.
He hopes that you are looking at him in a different light, he hopes that you've realized he'd been here all along.
"If only you knew." He whispers. "Night, Y/N." He says softly before pulling the blanket up to cover you perfectly, brushing the hair away from your face before shutting off the TV and laying on his back to stare at the ceiling.
He just hopes for you, and you only.
♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @yeosangsbbg @jycas @lyracarvahall @huachengsbestie01 @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs
#seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa series#park seonghwa series#park seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa#ateez#park seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#park seonghwa x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez scenarios#ateez series#seonghwa smut#seongwha fluff#seonghwa angst#park seonghwa smut#park seonghwa fluff#park seonghwa angst#hwaslayer: love you in slow motion
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Warnings: None, maybe Alkohol
Words: 835
Reading Time: 3min 20sec
A/N
Hey guys, long time no see huh. Well today was the first day I had really a free minute as I'm currently organizing prom so I'm stressed haha. Well I still hope you enjoy my story,
Love y'all Magdi <3
It was around midnight, and you were sitting on your couch, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, watching some movie you found on Netflix. Pablo was going out with some friends tonight, and even though he asked you to tag along, you preferred to stay in today, wanting to get some things done for work.
Pablo wasn't that happy with your decision, but he accepted it with a pout. He and his friends left around 9 o'clock, so you expected him to be home around one or two in the morning. You didn't mind him coming home late. Pablo is mostly really strict with himself, so you let him have his fun, and even though Pablo told you to not wait for him every time, you still stayed awake (or tried to) so you could fall asleep together.
You were on your way to the kitchen, needing some caffeine to stay awake until Pablo came home. Your head is stuck in your pantry as you hear your phone ring. Confused about who would call you this late, you rush back to the living room, thinking it is an emergency.
Your worry only grew as you saw the name of one of Pablo's best friends on your phone screen. You pick up the phone as quickly as you can.
"Hey Ale, is everything ok?!"
"Hey Y/N. Yeah everything is fine, your boyfriend just had one ... maybe three drinks to much." You heard him laugh over the loud music of the club.
"Me and Fermín will bring him home now, he has been asking where you are for the past half hour."
"Yeah, that's a good plan, I'll see you then. Has he fallen down somewhere already?" You ask, laughing to yourself. You see, Pablo had a bit of a habit when he had too much to drink. And that was totally ignoring where he was going. One time, the two of you were going out with some friends at a club near the beach, and at some point on your way home, Pablo just slid down the little bank that led to the beach. You didn't even realise he was gone until you heard his giggles from the beach.
"No he hasn't fallen down anywhere yet, but we keep an eye on him." You heard him laughing over the phone.
Laughing to yourself, you say bye to Ale and hang up, starting to prepare a few things for when Pablo comes home, like aspirin and lots and lots of water.
Half an hour later, you heard the doorbell ring and before said door stood Ale and Fermín, who held up a very drunk Pablo, who was smiling from one ear to the other.
"Oh god, what did he do?" You ask his friends, who also have a smile on their faces. But as soon as Pablo heard your voice, his head whipped up. "Y/N!"
He wriggled himself free from the grip of his friends and stumbled into your arms.
"Oh, I missed you sooooo much!" He mumbled into your neck, his warm breath tickling your neck.
"But you just saw me 3 hours ago, Pablito." You exclaim, laughing.
"I know, that's way too long."
With the help of Fermín and Ale, you got Pablo inside, with a few little accidents on the way as Pablo kept running into every shelf you owned in this house.
But now you finally have him where you want him to be, and after saying goodnight to Pablo's friends, you start the mission: getting Pablo ready for bed.
"Come on Amor, you have to brush your teeth."
"But I don't want tooooo."
Sighing, you try to think of a way to convince your toddler of a boyfriend to brush his damm teeth.
"OK Pablo, if you brush your teeth now, I will give you a kiss."
At that, his eyes went wide, and you never saw anyone grab his toothbrush faster than Pablo did at that moment. Giggling at his antics, you walk out of the bathroom into your shared bedroom to lay some pyjamas out for him.
Surprisingly, convincing him to change into his pyjamas went more effortless than you thought. So now you were laying in bed, Pablos head on your chest, your hand stroking through his soft hair. Pablo's soft whisper broke the comfortable silence you were in.
"I believed I was promised a kiss Querida."
"Oh, were you now?"
"Mhm, yes."
"Well, I can't break my promise now, can I?"
You grab Pablo's chin with your hand to make him look at you and place your lips against his soft ones in a quick kiss.
"Happy now?"
"Yup, as happy a ever."
"Well then, goodnight Pablo, sleep well."
You waited for an answer, but all you heard were Pablo's soft snores as he already fell asleep on your chest. With a smile on his face, you look at the aspirin lying on his bedside table, knowing he is gonna have the headache of his life tomorrow.
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Don't forget to leave a note if you enjoyed it, feedback is always welcome !!!!! ❤️
#pablo gavi x reader#gavi x reader#pablo gavi oneshot#pablo gavi x you#pablo gavi icons#pablo gavi#pablo gavi x y/n#fc barcelona#barca#gavi x you#spain
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Writing prompt-ish?
Adam is homesick. It’s really obvious to everyone, but they assume he just misses the luxury of heaven. Until at some point Adam says something about how long it’s been (having only been in hell for a few months at most) and it takes a second before it clicks that he’s homesick for Eden. In heaven he didn’t feel that homesickness so much because it was like a vacation, there were plenty of good things to distract him. But in Hell those good things aren’t there and the sadness catches up with him. He’d definitely stick around Lucifer more since he was in Eden too.
Do with it what you will :)
- Indigo (similarly homesick and projecting)
Awwww 🥺 I'm sorry you feel homesick.
"I can understand missing heaven but it's only been six months. You'd think he's been here for years." Angel said from his spot on the couch.
Lucifer shook his head. "It's not heaven he's missing."
Charlie looked at her dad questioningly. " Where else has he- Oh! That makes so much sense." Adam missed the garden of Eden.
Lately everyone had noticed that the fallen angel had been down in the dumps. Adam would either take to staying in his room or if he did come he'd stick close to Lucifer, likely because he was there.
Lucifer had heard Adam say on occasion that he just wanted to go home, he thought he meant home to heaven. Now that he knows it's Eden he's missing, well, that garden is long gone forever destroyed. He could never go back.
"Maybe there's a way to help him. Ideas?" Charlie asked.
"I say just let him suffer."
"Vaggie!"
"Sorry babe, but it's Hell people are meant to suffer. God knows that asshole deserves it." Vaggie crossed her arms.
"What if you got him a plant for his room? Or twenty?" Angel added in his two cents.
That actually gave Lucifer an idea.
-
Adam laid on his bed, blanket wrapped tightly around him. He wanted nothing more than to be back home in the garden of Eden, to see the vibrant colors, feel the soft grass between his toes (not that he had toes at the moment because, you know, hooves) to just be at peace in his home.
Lucifer reminded him so much of the garden, he tried not to make it obvious by sticking close to the king when he did leave his room. It was just a comfort, the only thing left from his home.
Without the pleasures of heaven to keep him occupied, Adams mind was free to roam and think about Eden more than he'd like.
His eyes pooled with water. Fuck he just wanted his home back.
"Adam?"
"Ahh!" Adam jumped at the sound of Lucifer's voice and gave him a light glare. "Fuck don't you knock?"
"I did. Three times."
"Oh..." Did he really not hear it?
"Come on I want to show you something." Lucifer gestured and sighed when Adam didn't move. "I think it'll help you."
"Doubt it." Adam got out of bed anyway and was led through a portal. His eyes widened when he looked around at where they were. "What is this?"
"It's not Eden, not even close. But I hope it helps."
They were standing in the middle of a greenhouse that was covered from head to toe in plants, flowers, a couple trees and even grass on the floor. It was as if someone took bits of the garden and placed it inside.
"I know you've been homesick lately. I hope this helps." Lucifer said scratching the back of his neck.
Adam just looked around in awe. "You did this for me?"
"Well, kinda but I understand if you don't -" Lucifer was wrapped up in a hug that caught him by surprise.
"Thank you, Luci."
Oh. Well, that's the first time Adam has called him that since the garden. With a smile Lucifer returned the hug.
"You're welcome, Adam."
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Heya Factual! Sorry that it's been a bit since I last sent you an ask, a few days ago I suddenly fell quite ill and kinda forgot to check your page while I've been recovering! Thankfully I finally remembered to check a bit ago and was delighted to see you've reached 26,000! Congratulations as always- you've clearly built up some amazing momentum- and I hope it doesn't slow down anytime soon- you deserve every follower!
I also cannot express in words how much I've been enjoying your Pokemon gangs adventures- both the fun and the angsty! The Gloria comic especially was super cool- it was emotional and unique- unlike anything you've made before, in the best way possible! Hope it gets a follow up one day, or perhaps the Metagross comic will prove even more emotionally unique! Oh, and also, as several others have said, I really appreciate you working Gengars iconic Red eyes into Grimaces expressions! It works really well!
And speaking of the poke gang so much, I do have a question pertaining to them, if you don't mind. Based on the backgrounds, and the Trevenant they encountered earlier, I assume the gang is currently ruffing it out in a rather dark forest- so is there a chance they could encounter one of my favorite Pokemon, the nasty pseudo legendary Hydreigon? They've been shown in game and the anime to be very territorial apex predators of the forests- who attack everything in sight! So if the crew came under attack by one, what would their strategy be? Would they try to stand and fight as one? Or plan to make a break for it? And would Sylvester perhaps use their type advantage to save the day, with some help from the rest of the pack?
(26,000 post) (Gloria comic)
Thank you so much! :DD Though I'm sorry to hear you've been unwell :{{ I'm a bit late to respond to this ask so I hope you're feeling better by now! <:}
And thanks again! I'm glad you liked the Gloria comic! I'd like to make something proper for Baragara (Metagross) sometime.. I'm still deciding on the details of his backstory <XDD
As for Hydreigon, that's a good question.. the Pokedex entries say that Hydreigon attacks based on movement. I'd like to think that Gloria would know to stay still if she ever encountered one.. but truth be told she probably wouldn't know.. and if the group encountered one when they were still recovering from their injuries? They'd all flee for sure. And if Hydreigon pursued them, Gloria would use herself as a distraction to protect her friends.. 🥺💞
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Cloudy With a Chance of Murder.
Part I: leaving the crime scene.
Part II: the phone call.
Part III: a visit to the morgue.
Part IV: the lunch break.
Part V: lunch part II.
Part VI: the perfect cover.
Part VII: the storage closet.
Part VIII: case closed.
Part IX: finding their way.
Must you always be so... so stubborn, Katie?
Apparently, the answer to the question her parent's had frustratedly asked her on many occasions was a big, fat yes.
It's not that she hadn't tried to be a little softer, a little less headstrong. She had decided - the moment she arrived home, alone... again - that she could forgive and forget this whole mess. Because, like Lanie had said (and like she already knew) Castle had only done what he thought was the right thing.
He had explained how they had ended up in his Loft rather than the fancy restaurant he had made reservations at. He had explained the alarming phone call, the shattering glass. And he had explained that no matter what he said or did, Kristina had been on a mission to get exactly what she wanted.
If anything, he was the victim in all of this. Maybe, just maybe, it was her who owed him an apology.
Then, as if timed by fate itself, there was a knock at her door.
He came bearing a heartfelt apology, the intent to start and finish a true conversation about them (one they probably should have had before returning to work, but better late than never) and a promise. A promise that he understands, that is scared too, but that he truly believes they can find their way.
And just like that, she was ready to forgive.
She leant in, smile still bright on her face, and Castle dipped his head to brush his lips against hers. However, it seemed forgiving was going to be much easier than forgetting. The images she had spent the better half of the night fighting off flooded back to the forefront of her mind and she pulled back from the impending we're good now kiss.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said as she shook her head slightly, hoping to erase the images like an etch-a-sketch. "It's too soon. I just keep seeing her boobs in your face."
She walked away, just a few steps to gain a little bit of distance, a little bit of perspective. She just wanted her mind to stop taunting her like this. She wanted the memories to be gone, for good.
And then came the softly spoken, heartbroken words that managed to do exactly that.
"Do y- do you want me to leave?"
She turned to face him, took in the pained look of regret that was etched so deep in the tired lines of his face and shook her head.
"No," she said definitively, closing the space between them. "I'm sorry, I'm just tired."
And confused, and angry, and a little hurt; but mostly just tired.
She reached up and delicately traced her thumb over his cheek.
"Stay with me?" she whispered the request. "Please."
He nodded, followed as she led him toward her bedroom. He removed his clothing, down to his boxers, as she pulled back the covers and climbed onto the bed. Kneeling, she moved over to his side and placed her hands on his hips. He joined her on the mattress, kneeling before her, and brushed the hair of her ponytail over her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Kate," he whispered and she nodded.
"Me too."
She leaned in, kissed him slowly. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting - the taste of betrayal, perhaps - but his lips, his tongue; it just tasted like him. Sweet, loyal, hopelessly in love Castle. And her reservations melted away.
Castle pressed his forehead to hers but cupped her face to keep her close; he didn't want to lose this connection, but he also didn't want her to feel rushed.
"We don't have to," he assured her.
But she shook her head. "I want to."
Still, he hesitated. She knew that was her fault: she had let her emotions lead her actions too much over these past few days. These past few weeks, actually. And now he was being overly cautious, taking on the role that she would usually fill. Because that was how they worked: serious and unserious, head in the clouds and feet firmly on the ground, a hopeless romantic and a logical thinker. They levelled each other other, brought one another to this ideal middle ground that just seemed to work so perfectly for them.
But this? This role reversal they had slipped into, it wasn't them It wasn't right.
"I'm okay, Castle." She assured him with a kiss. "We're okay."
And she was determined for her words to become truth.
She kissed him again, with more urgency than before, and he gave into his desires.
His arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her closer, relished in the feel of her body pressed flush against his.
"I want you," he panted as he moved his attention to peppering kisses along her jawline and down her neck. His hands wandered down her body to her thighs, then glided back up the bared skin and underneath her sleep shirt. "Only you."
"Show me," she whispered. They broke apart, looked into one another's eyes for just a few short seconds before she smiled and repeated her request. "Show me how much you want me."
He did exactly that. He poured all the love he had for her into a long, slow, reverent kiss as he lay her back on her bed. He touched her with gentle hands, like she were a priceless artifact to be handled with the utmost care. Kissed her in a way that soothed the hurt and confusion they had both felt in this tumultuous transition into life outside of their little love bubble. Their love-making was a promise that tomorrow was a new day - undoubtedly with new challenges to face - but no matter what may have come their way, they could figure this out together... they could find their way.
And, in a way that only they could, they righted all their wrongs.
#my drabbles#kate beckett#richard castle#caskett#castle#kate beckett x richard castle#castle fanfiction#castle fanfic
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Hello! I noticed your account has open requests and I've been searching for a while to find some twst writers lol! I really hope you don't mind this request and I like your works :3
A request about Leona and/or Ruggie realizing that this “naive“ m!reader is actually the king of sunset savannah's entertainer/court jester (you know how kings hired court jesters to entertain them in parties or whatever, I haven't done much research). They can insult Falena and the guards wouldn't beat his ass (since it's literally part of his job) PLUS it pays REALLY GOOD. The beastmen just recently found out because of the reader saying a comment about the King, saying something like “His hair reminds me of a tomato.“ “King Tomato Furry (Falena) said that I'll get a raise lol“ just randomly and went back to work.
I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE PLEASE 😭
A lovers Jest
Your brain is so big, anon. So very big, I love this request so much, you don't even know!! In Leonas part the M!reader is mentioned, but in Ruggies it isn't exactly mentioned, since i didn't want to unnecessarily cramp it in, I hope that's okay! Also Leona finds out during a festival, since i thought it would be funny- Also, I'm sorry this took so long, and thank you for the kind words!! Hope you enjoy :) There are way to many "Also's" in this Intro-
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Finding out their crush is the Royal Jester
Characters: Leona, Ruggie
Format: Headcanons
Warnings: None that i can think off
Leona
-How did he not know earlier about you being his brothers Jester? well, the man was to busy sleeping to partake in any of the royal festivities
-How you could be so seemingly naive was a mystery to him, it really stunned him at times, but nonetheless you seemed to grow on him, so, you two started to hang out often
-He liked how, behind the closed doors of his room, you're even willing to joke and make fun of his brother. Falena is usually held in high regards by citizens of Sunset Savanna, not that he really minded. That is definitely why you two started hanging out so much (definitely not because he is slowly developing a crush on you, nuh uh)
-He would tease, how, as the second prince, he could report you to his brother and the guards, because of your jokes, only to get a laugh in response for from you. Truly, how naive could you be to not take threats seriously? let alone make jokes so carelessly about the king?!
-Well, he was quick to find out, when he eventually was forced to go to a royal event! It's Chekas birthday, and the little man was very insistent about having his beloved uncle there! So, reluctantly, he went, no matter how little he wanted to. He did show up late though
-And when he did arrive, he almost immediately sees you. Well, the prince's birthday was commonly celebrated by the entire kingdom, he supposes it wasn't to weird you're here.. But why is there a crowd around you? and why are you standing so close to his brother?! And then, once he got a bit closer, he could finally hear what you were saying
-"Why, your majesty, King of tomatoes may just be a better fitting title for you!"
-Oh. Oh no no no no no- he just came to terms with having a crush on you, and now you practically throw yourself into prison?! He knows you're naive, but to openly insult the king?! Even as the second prince he won't be able to save you from prison!
-Leona is panicking to say the least, just as he is about to try and intervene and stop you from being thrown into prison for the rest of your live, he suddenly hears his brother..laugh? The guards stand in their place, a few people in the crowd giggling, as his brother and his sister-in-law are full on laughing.
-He just stands there shocked, till Falena finally notices him. "Leona! how nice of you to finally grace us with your presence! I believe you have yet to meet my Jester?" Jester?! It would explain the situation.. "No, we have met before.."
-respond to his intense stare with a smile, and suddenly he is looking away and blushing ever so slightly
-Suddenly your 'naivety' makes so much sense. You aren't naive, you just love your work so much, you continue to do it outside of working hours
-The rest of the night he spends silently observing you, while having to deal with chekas antics
-You best believe, that the next time you two hang out, he'll be confronting you, very much wanting to know why you didn't tell him- You probably thought he already knew, since, y'know, he's part of the royal family and all
-This, along with his crush on you, gave him a great Idea. As a second prince, he isn't required to marry a woman, since he doesn't need an heir.. So not only is he free to marry you, he would get to take his brothers favorite Jester from him. For once, he'd be the one to take something from his brother, instead of the other way around!
-Of course, that isn't the only reason he wants to marry you, dear reader, this lion is head over heels for you- he's just to stubborn to admit it :)
Ruggie
-You and Ruggie have probably already been close for a while, maybe you even have already gone on a date or two!
-And yet, he has yet to know what you do for work. But he does know that you make A LOT of money! He wouldn't just like you for the money, but if you're the kind of person to use at least a small amount to help those in need like himself by giving to charity, or paying for the meals he takes back home for the kids of the slum during the holidays, then that is a definitely one of the reason he fell for you
-He did notice how openly you insulted the King, and he can't say he minds, that man has so much money, and is supposed to take care of his kingdom, and yet there are still kids growing up the way he did.
-Nonetheless, he usually stops you when your 'naive' enough to Joke about the King in the open, he doesn't need you going to prison, you pay for so many of his meals! He is genuinely in love with you, but just like Leona, too stubborn to admit it
-Until one day, he once again stops you from Insulting the king in public and you reply with a simple "Why? King Tomato-head even said I'd get a raise for that Joke!"
-"Wait what? What do you mean by that??" - If you translated Ruggies expression into words
-"Oh yeah, I'm the Royal Jester! Did I never tell you that?" No, no you did not- but it does explain a lot to Ruggie, why, no matter how much you joked in the open, the guards never went after you, why you were willing to insult the king at all.. You weren't naive, you were just doing your job!
-...Do you think you could also get him a job as jester? He knows a court usually has more than one Jester, and apparently it pays well!.. But that would mean he would spent his holidays at the castle instead of with his grandma and the slum kids. Yeah, he'll leave the Jesting to you
-But suddenly, instead of stopping you from telling your jokes, he'll help you come up with them! He knows, that the funnier a Jester is, the more they'll get paid, and you best believe he's making sure you bring home that bag!!
-...Also, maybe if you have a holiday off, you'd be willing to come with him to the slums and perform for the kids? He can only imagine how exited they would be to see the performance of an actual jester.
-If you say yes, he'd literally be willing to marry you on the spot, he's already picking a venue
Tbh, not that proud of Leonas part, the words didn't wanna word- But I'm still pretty proud of myself nonetheless ngl
Also, two posts in one day, I feel so productive-
I hope you enjoyed! Feedback is welcomed, just be nice :)
Have a lovely day/night!
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#headcanons#twisted wonderland headcanons#twst headcanons#writing#leona kingsholar x reader#twst leona#leona kingscholar#leona x reader#twst ruggie#ruggie bucchi x reader#ruggie x reader#ruggie bucchi#x reader
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What's that, more Tim and Fright Knight? Don't mind me, I'll just leave this here for you.
Teaser:
Well. Tim guesses this might be it. It's late afternoon, too early for Batman to be on patrol. Tim smothers any hopes about Robin saving him. The headline in the papers, whispered speculation at school, Jason Todd missing, Robin notably absent from the skies of Gotham, Batman's new viciousness, not even petty criminals immune to his wrath. Tim refuses to say it out loud.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because Tim is getting mugged. And no one is going to come for him. Because he's thirteen and it's too early for Batman to patrol and Tim should have been smarter.
Turns out walking home from the library is dangerous in Gotham! Who knew?
Tim knew. Tim knew and stayed late anyways. Tim knew and walked alone towards the bus stop. Tim knew and now he's in a grimy Gotham alleyway, staring down a mugger.
The guy has at least a foot and probably a hundred pounds on Tim. Which is why it was so easy for him to drag Tim into an alley. He's asking for Tim’s money but all he has is his skateboard, bus pass and the ‘for emergencies only’ credit card in Jack Drake's name. Of course, that pisses off the mugger.
Tim's head meets brick, slammed and held in place by his shoulder. His teeth clatter and he doesn't get a chance to think too hard about it because a knife is being jabbed into his side.
“Rich kid like you? You're lying you don't have cash. Give me your phone.” The muggers's breath is rank. Tim doesn't want to give up his phone. Firstly because he doesn't know when Jack and Janet will be home again to get another phone. Secondly because this guy's breath is gross.
“I only have a shitty old iPhone. Not even Wayne Tech.” There's a taste of blood in Tim’s mouth as he speaks. Gross, must've bit his tongue.
“You must think I'm real fuckin’ dumb.”
“I'm not lying!” Tim lies. “I broke my last phone. My parents won't buy me a new one so I learn to treat my things with respect.”
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Hiii!!
Angsty Thoughts about what would satan think if he went all wrath murdery and almost killed mc? How whould he and the brothers react?
Hi Isabella!
Sooooo sorry for the delay on my response to this, but I got a little idea and I wanted to write it out. Generally, I think Satan would react very badly to this situation in that his guilt would overcome him. I think the other brothers would be most focused on MC. They would want to make sure that MC is okay. Though things might be awkward between all of them for a little while.
Anyway, I wrote this little scene to depict kinda what I was thinking. I left it open ended so that you can decide if it ends angsty or fluffy.
GN!MC x Satan
Warnings: Angst! This is the aftermath of Satan almost killing MC.
You opened your eyes slowly, taking in the bleary darkness of the ceiling in your room. The tree's branches spread above you, the leaves still in the silence.
Your head hurt a little, but otherwise you were all right. You shifted in bed, trying to remember what had happened.
A memory suddenly flashed through your mind - Satan in demon form, enraged, eyes blazing green, tail whipping through the air. Your hand reaching out toward him, your voice soft and pleading. A blast of magic light. The heavy pain that spread through your chest. Your body lifting, feeling yourself splayed across the floor. Hearing the voices of the brothers as your eyes closed, feeling Lucifer lifting you.
And that was all you needed. You sat up in bed, remembering exactly what had happened. You looked around and saw Mammon sitting on your floor, head propped up against the side of your mattress, asleep. Belphie was slumped against him, also dozing. Across the room you saw Beel, Levi, and Asmo all breathing softly against each other, also in a state of slumber.
It was so cute, you couldn't help but smile.
A hand on your shoulder nearly made you jump, but you looked up to see that it was Lucifer. The only brother still awake, it seemed.
You slipped out of your bed and followed him into the hallway.
"Are you feeling all right, MC?" he asked the second you closed your bedroom door.
"I'm fine," you said. You shook your arms out, tested your legs, stretched out your back. "I was expecting to be in pain, but I feel fine."
"You can thank Asmo for that," Lucifer said. "He used a spell at the last second to lessen the impact when you hit the ground."
You looked around the hallway. "How long have I been asleep? Where's Satan?"
Lucifer frowned. "It's only been a few hours. Satan has locked himself in his room. I carried you here and the others refused to leave, so no one has spoken to him yet."
"I need to talk to him," you said.
Lucifer shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said. "That magic he hit you with almost killed you. Do you realize that?"
"I don't care about that," you said. "It's not like I haven't almost died several times here by now. And I'm not dead, am I? I'm going to talk to him."
"MC-" Lucifer began to protest as you started off down the hall, reaching out to grab your wrist.
You pulled your wrist out of his hand. "Don't try to stop me."
Lucifer frowned after you as you made your way to Satan's door.
You knocked.
No response.
"Satan?" you called. "It's me. Please let me in."
"What are you doing here?"
His voice was strained and hoarse. It came from directly behind the door, as if he was leaning against the other side.
"I want to talk to you," you said. "Don't you think you owe me that?"
There was a long silence. And then you heard movement. A click and the door opened.
You couldn't see Satan, as he stepped back into the shadows.
You went inside and closed his door behind you. He was lingering by a stack of books, unable to look at you. He was still in demon form, like he hadn't been able to calm himself enough to shift back.
"Satan," you said quietly.
He flinched and turned even further away. "You shouldn't be here, MC. You shouldn't be near me."
You could hear the tears in his voice and you knew he had been crying.
"I'm not afraid of you," you said.
"I nearly killed you," he said. "If Asmo hadn't-"
The words broke off in a choked sob.
You could tell that words were getting you nowhere fast. You came closer to his huddled form and put a hand on his back. He stilled beneath your touch and the fear that was radiating from him nearly broke your heart.
You didn't say anything. What could you say at this point? He wasn't in a place to hear you.
Instead you slowly pressed yourself against him, leaning your cheek on his back and wrapping your arms around his waist.
Satan was like stone in your embrace. It made you want to cry, too, but you could hold yourself still. You needed to be strong for him.
You squeezed him a little and said, "I love you."
For a moment, everything was silent. And then Satan shuddered. His body relaxed as his demon form retreated. He turned around and you saw his face clearly for the first time since you'd arrived - distraught and streaked with tears.
"How could you ever love a monster like me?" he asked in a broken whisper. The pain in every word shot through your veins like ice. "I don't deserve your love."
You saw the confusion in his eyes. Part of him wanted to give in, to accept your love and your heart. But a larger part of him believed what he had just said - that he didn't deserve it.
You pressed your forehead against his and waited. There was a question in your silence, a challenge. Would he push you away? Or would he let you love him?
masterlist | Thank you for reading!
#I hope you don't mind that I ran with your idea a little bit#I've just been so low on motivation and inspiration lately I take it where I can get it lol!!#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me fanfic#obey me angst#obey me satan#om satan#obey me satan x reader#om satan x reader#obey me x reader#x reader#anxious-chick#cc mutuals#misc writes
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Hey, @robanilla!
Guess what?
HAPPY VALENTINES!!!
I have been drawing this for you since January. I couldn't finish, but the style that I am playing with right now made it suddenly possible, so...
Happy Valentines!
Awww ♡ So are you!
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Horror Sans belongs to Sourapplestudios
#I hope you don't mind that it's a bit late :)#but what can several months do against the friendship between sans simps#am I right?#horror says I am#sans x you#sans x reader#sans x y/n#horror sans#my art
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Hiiiiiiiii how are you? Id like to request a farah with a extremely hyper energetic and bubbly reader🫶🏻🫶🏻
Hello! I'm doing fine! I went to my country house for the first time this year and grilled some sausages and meat with my parents, so I had a pretty good day today!
Farah with an Energetic and Bubbly Reader
It would most definitely be different from what she’s used to, being surrounded by serious, and mostly grumpy people at all times. But it’s not like you could blame them either, they’re at war and need to be alert, not having the time to be cheerful. SO having you along is definitely a breath of fresh air. Someone, who doesn’t think of all the bad things that could happen at any point in time. You’re always up for an adventure, even if Farah doesn’t always have the time for them. Don’t get me wrong, she’d love nothing more than to explore the world with you, go inside every forest and every cave just to see some cute animals and maybe pet them, but she can’t unfortunately. Even so, she can appreciate you being this bubbly, it’s nice. You may talk a lot, but that’s alright, sometimes she’s too tired to talk anyway and lets you take the lead. Not having to think about all the godawful things war brings with it for a few moments is nice, especially if it’s because of a loved one. Besides, you’re always in a good mood, and it rubs off on her as well, leaving her smiling and thinking about the time you pet a cat and ushered her to do the same as you held the mammal out towards her. You having a lot of energy can be a bit exhausting to her at times, though. Sometimes, when she’s tired, she just wants to rest a bit, but you always wanna do big things with her. She’d love to, again, but she can’t always. But once all of this is over, she’s gonna take you to an amusement park. Not because she’s never been to one, definitely not because of that, but because they seem like something you would enjoy. However, on those days where she has a bit more energy as well, you’re more than welcome to dance with her, or maybe even race each other to the top of one of the hills nearby. Farah wants nothing more than to share her country with you, especially the good things such as the culture and the landscape, so she would never say no to the both of you going outside when you can, provided the times are a bit more peaceful. If she’s feeling especially playful, or if you’re being too energetic, Farah will tire you out a bit by play fighting with you. Good luck trying to beat her. She may play fair with you, but that doesn’t mean she won’t go all out trying to get you to calm down a bit. However, she will apologize if she accidentally hurts you, such a thing was never her intention.
#cod#cod x reader#farah karim#farah karim x reader#been getting a lot of requests for Farah as of late#I don't mind since I barely got any for my second masterpost unfortunately. she's literally so cool though#one of these days I would like to be especially cringe and write some HCs of her reader and Alex in a poly relationship#Alex is so underrated it hurts. we love a loyal and sweet king who would give his life for his wife#I don't think he's ever been properly requested either#if I ever find the time I will write some HCs for that. I'm such a sucker for poly relationships. but I've mentioned that already#I also had another cod dream the other day!!! no girls though :( I was cuddling with König a bit. he was a sweetheart in my dream#been getting lots of cod dreams as of late. I hope it stays that way since I do like dreaming about the lads and lasses a lot#the next request is rather interesting. I'm gonna get to it today as well. I don't think I know what a mosh pit is exactly#you folks send in interesting stuff but I can't complain since I love rock and punk myself#my co worker always plays classic rock in our office and it's my favorite thing at work. just listening to paint it black all of a sudden#so good. I also have times where I can't get bastards by motörhead out of my head. another really good song#but I gotta look at what a mosh pit is first and foremost before I can write that request
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ATEEZ @ MAMA 2020 (Inception + Answer)
↳ aka my second Atinyversary
Summary in case you don't want to read all this: it's been two years since I got into Ateez, I ramble about it, then I tagged my lovely mutuals.
I can't believe it's already been two years since Youtube recommended me this video out of the blue and because I was bored and San and Honjoong looked sp pretty on the thumbnail I watched it. Instantly fell in love with Answer and decided that well, if they have one song this good, there have got to be more right? And so began my descent into the kpop (read: Ateez) madness. I didn't expect on December 6th 2020 that two years later I would run a tumblr blog dedicated to the one guy that I actively did not want to bias at first, spend who knows how much money on albums and other merch, go to one of their concerts and scream along with all those other fans despite me thinking I would never have a boy group phase in this life (lol), least of all one starting when I was 21 years old. Not that I regret anything about it :D
I realise that these gifs are not actually the most giffable moment for some members, but as this is a very self indulgent set I chose to gif what are moments I still remember reacting to when I saw the first time. Honorary mention to Hongjoong shouting "1, 2, 3 lets BURN" into his mic. If I could gif a sound that would be the first I'd gif because Answer is special to me and I absolutely came to life when he did the same thing at my concert.
I started giffing on this blog way later in 2021, around the end of Deja Vu promotions, and for the most part I did not feel very welcome here on Atinyblr lol, for reasons that have nothing to do with anyone I interact with these days. This only very recently changed when I finally joined the atzsource team and actually talked to the people on here. So thank you for being so cool and talking about some things that mean I can finally chill and not feel like an imposter on here anymore. So in no particular order tagging my lovely mutuals that I love seeing on the dash/talking to/admire from afar ♡
@sanchelinz (thank you forever for the file!) @woosansang @jonghho @jeong-yunhoes @jjongho @sanhwaiting @woosanhui @jngif @guerrila @yunhogifs @applejongho @xuseokgyu @blueberrysan @jeongyunho99 @chwejongho @strhwaberries @cruellajoong @song-mingi @hwatermelon @seonghwaminho @yukuz
#ateez#ateezedit#atzsource#fio.gifs#atz:other#so this is first of all a bit late#because turns out this stage is not easy to colour and even less to colour match#which brings me to my second point#colour matching this defeated me i'm sorry pls don't mind the relative crustiness#esp the jh gif i'm sorry ribos i tried my best#but the lighting changes were stronger than me#i'm too tired to proofread this ajhsdga i hope there's not too many typos#i am SO SORRY if i forgot anyone#if i've ever talked to you you probably know this bc i say it all the time but i'm just not good with words but i appreciate you all <3#ALSO sorry for this messy formatting it was ok but then the links didnt work and then when i changed it there were huge breaks suddenly lol
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good evening fellow tumblr users i hope everyone is doing well !! or if not, hugs <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my state of mind has been pretty weird lately but i think i'm getting somewhere better (i hope)#>_< ALSO THE MOONFAIRE OUTFIT IS SO AAA <333 my wol looks so cute sobs someone shld hit her up (raha) JDHFJDHSKDBKDBS#also my knee has been weird lately q-q kinda hurts a bit idk if it's better now but yeah WHEEZE#i will sleep uhhh b4 3 !! at the very least ;;; still need to get up early around 7/8 for school but it's still hard to sleep earlier T^T#sorry if you don't like hugs btw. cookies instead! or whatever makes you happy <3
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