#I have the AAA so I had to get an uber to him so I could call for a tow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magnifythesun · 28 days

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Hi! Are you still taking ianthony prompts? I've had this stuck in my head the time Ian's car broke down and Anthony said he begged Ian 6 times to come pick him up and I just imagine Damsel in Distress Ian who's also stubborn and a bit oblivious to a worried and protective Anthony who's always there for him in different situations.

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!

This is definitely one of my favorite little details that they've dropped about themselves haha!! I can't believe Anthony had to ask Ian SIX whole times just to come get him 😂 Ian truly must never ask for help! Okay, I'm a little rusty in my writing but I'm excited so let's see how this goes! Let me know what you think! ^_^

(mid writing notes: writing this really made me realize just how many times SIX whole times of asking your friend to let you give them a ride is. SIX TIMES)

Read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56102110

Leave it to Ian to get stranded in the only 'middle-of-nowhere' spot in LA. Anthony was wearing tracks into his living room carpet, caught up in rereading the messages Ian had sent.

"Car broke 😢" was the first sign of trouble, accompanied by the sad photo of Ian's car half-pulled off of the asphalt into grass.

"Where are you?" Anthony had shot back, confused by the seemingly rural background of the photo. "Got AAA coming to help?"

"In the most barren part of the whole city." Ian replied after a couple of minutes. "I'm taking a look at at it now but yeah I'm probably going to call them. Car sounds fucked."

"Shit, man. Lemme know if you need a ride" Anthony offered. It only took a second for the reply.

"No worries, I'll be good."

There had been radio silence for a while then. Anthony hadn't been too stressed. He figured Ian already had a different person lined up to get him if his car didn't start back up. Still, he kept glancing at his phone for updates that didn't come.

After about forty minutes, and a quick glance at the clock that told him it'd be getting dark soon, Anthony texted Ian again.

"Triple A fix your car?"

The response was prompt. "Nope"

Anthony stared at the message, knowing this man did not just send him only the word 'nope.' It took a minute but more followed.

"The AAA guy's still looking at it but from what I can tell it's beyond his scope. He mentioned I should probably call a tow truck so I've been looking at reviews."

Anthony glanced outside his window, frowning at the rapidly darkening sky. "That sounds like a good idea. after you call whoever, I can drive over so you have a ride once they've towed yours"

Ian responded quickly, "No don't worry I'm all good."

Definitely must have a ride then, Anthony thought. Still, he had to make sure. "Oh good, you've got a ride then?"

There was a long pause, so Anthony set his phone down, glancing at the setting sun again and went to get some water from the kitchen.

Coming back in to his phone, he checked his messages, and-

"No, I'll probably just Uber."

Anthony was flabbergasted. "Why?? Don't worry man it's no problem for me to pick you up. Let me know where you're at." It was actually just straight up dark outside at this point. "Is the AAA guy still there??"

"Nah he's gone. Waiting on the tow truck."

Alone in the middle-of-nowhere Los Angeles? Anthony thought, In the dark? Worry flared up in his chest and the pacing began.

"Ian, just drop me your map pin and I'll head over."

"It's chill, I'm not in a rush to get home." Ian replied, not a care in the world.

Anthony resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. "that's not really the point??"

Suddenly a picture was loading in on the messages.

Anthony braced himself for a lackadaisical gif (and yes, he pronounced it jif like god and the creator intended) but was greeted instead with a horrendous selfie of Ian holding the phone at an angle an inch from his chin, smiling at him. The artificial light from his phone lit up the interior of his car behind him. Anthony couldn't help but laugh, even as the worry churned in his stomach. Another message followed.

"Don't worry. I'm a big boy now, all grown up and everything."

Anthony considered wracking his brains for a daddy joke, but decided Ian didn't deserve it right now. He grabbed his keys and wallet, flicked off the living room light, and left, locking his door behind him. As he walked toward his car, he jabbed the call button.

It rang only twice before Ian picked up. Anthony heard him take a breath to speak and didn't give him a chance. "Ian, just tell me where you're at, I'm heading to my car now."

"I-" Ian sounded surprised. There was a moment of rustling on the other end, then Anthony was clearly put on speaker as Ian's voice echoed slightly through the call. "Anthony, really, it's fine. The tow truck people have an ETA of like 15 minutes and then I'll call the Uber while they're hooking the car up."

Anthony, now at his car, pressed his eyes closed for a second in annoyance as he clicked his key. He hoped Ian could hear the pointed little beep-beep of his car unlocking in response.

"You really don't have to go out of your way to come get me," Ian continued, undeterred. "I didn't mean to derail your whole night with this," He laughed.

Anthony got in the car and leaned his head on his steering wheel in despair. "Ian."

"What?" Ian asked.

Anthony began to laugh despite himself, "I don't understand," He laughed harder, pushing the words out. "Why won't you just let me pick you up? I've asked you like five times!"

There was a moment of silence from Ian's end, and Anthony knew Ian was processing just how ridiculous this had become. Ian started snickering. Then they were both just laughing, Anthony holding the phone tight to his ear as Ian's laughter poured from it, his other hand ready to turn the car on.

"So," Anthony caught his breath, "So can you -please- drop me a map pin so I can come get you?"

"Alright, alright." Ian said.

Ian's voice was soft and breathless from his laughter. Anthony had spent a long time learning how to properly relish the beautiful moments in his life. The sound of Ian's voice right now, echoing slightly through the phone? That was one of those moments.

Anthony's phone pinged. "There. You happy?"

"Finally, my god." Anthony pulled the phone away to check. "Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Great," Ian said. "I think the tow truck gets here right about then." Anthony could still hear the smile in his voice. "I'll be here, waiting for you to rescue me."

#ianthony #asks #my fanfic #i have to emphasize that i pronounce gif like a regular person despite what god and the creator intended #but anthony has that hill he's decided to die on so i will incorporate it at any possible relevant moment because its hilarious #thank you AGAIN for this prompt it was so great to write!!#ill be answering each prompt i get in the order i receive them!#ive got two more in the pipeline right now! thank yall for sending!

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elendsessor · 5 days

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I really love reading people's hcs, especially if it's abtmy special interests. so i was wondering if you have any from the real world (y'know; sheffield, o'brien, real argilla and others ((I'M VERY NORMAL ABT O'BRIEN ">:D

it mostly comes down to sheff and o’brien since everyone else has like next to no complete info or are uber similar to their ai counterparts but i have a few!! sorry if this isn’t the longest list.

spoilers gang

-i mentioned in a previous post greg being a dog trainer but i also see him as doing a thing i see a lot of people at my local dog park do, being using the river as a way to train dogs to swim and retrieve things underwater. there’s also dog walkers who specialize in handling big off leash groups!!! just saying there has to be a reason his name is lupa and i will make up every reason possible as to why sob sob

-that or he has experience as a farmhand. i believe he’s a country boy mostly bc of my experience when i worked at a doggy daycare (there were a ton of people who had hunting dogs or some country adjacent fit i don’t even live in the south how are so many of them like this it must be some sort of requirement)

-bro would own an anatolian shepherd or three. fred was quite literally raised by wolves,,,, and by that i mean dogs meant to fight off wolves and bears (maybe he also has a malamute i mean close enough)

-fred is a roblox and fortnite kid

-if roland counts in this regard he gives me moe szyslak vibes so i do think he shares a lot of traits with him jdgnfsgnoyfgjh

-there was this one time @goatwithaplan made a post about atma avatars as animals and because of it i can’t see roland without thinking of bovines or goats or rams. he would have a pet goat.

(if you can’t tell animals are on the brain right now i’m sorry aaa)

-low key dating adil i can’t believe i remembered his name

-real argilla’s hair isn’t actually blonde.

-she also reminds me of sharpay evans from high school musical so i pretend she’s her.

-sheff is obsessed with true crime and medical shows. probably also would get a kick out of terrifier 1 and 2

-the weird cringe relationship with o’brien is real. they both hate one another for different reasons but god be damned they also have reasons to love one another. they never go on any real dates or say they’re boyfriends they just occasionally fuck.

-sheff flirts a lot. with everyone his age. nobody is safe. not even if you’re married.

-i have like. a nsfw one i’m too afraid to share (i don’t like getting nsfw) but there’s no fucking way sheff isn’t into particular somethings and absolutely annoys o’brien with them (both are consenting i swear)

-o’brien had a growth spurt in his sophomore year of high school. every bit of casual clothing he has is from around that time. maybe he forgets to actually replace them or maybe he doesn’t care.

-sheff has no fashion sense whatsoever and is a cringefail loser

-he has two pet rats who may or may not be named after a certain famous pair of cartoon rats

-constantly goes to shady bars because he would be that guy

-he gets told to shut up constantly. he refuses to. in fact, this makes him worse.

going back to the high school musical mention every weekend someone working on the god project hosts a movie night and yet at least once a month someone asks to watch high school musical 2 or some other dcom

-nobody likes margot. somehow sheffield is better liked. at least he has ✨“personality”✨ (if being an annoying twink counts)

#i have quite a few sheff ones just bc i like depicting him as the ultimate cringefail #i couldn’t take him seriously. he’s a shitty dude but he was silly to me #you can’t look at him and say “yes that is a man i can take seriously”#i love discussing these headcanons if you ever have anymore you wanna hear lmk #including animal/pet hcs for some reason i always have to give everyone some kind of animal they like #btw if you care anatolian shepherds are certainly creatures the only one i’ve ever met had a peanut shaped head #shantien answers #dds #megaten #headcanon hell

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kenneth-omega · 2 years

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The Fear of Falling in Love

// Part 1 // Part 2 //

A Kenny Omega Short Fic

**EDITED 27/08/2022**

Pairing: Kenny Omega x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a family friend of The Young Bucks who, like Matt and Nick, also became obsessed with wrestling from a young age. During Kenny’s absence from screen you were sourced into AEW by the Bucks and brought into the Undisputed Elite faction. Following the recent fall out between Adam Cole/reDragon and the Bucks over the upcoming Trios tournament you finally get to meet the great Kenny Omega. You eventually become locked into a storyline that starts out fun and harmless but soon turns sour at the prospect of real feelings being hurt and relationships tarnished.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO A TAGLIST IN FUTURE PARTS WHEN THEY’RE POSTED PLEASE LMK

Warnings: some swearing, kenny being a little flirty bitch, ethan page being the best shit stirrer (ILHSM)

Word count: 2.8K

A/N: Part 2 of this mini fic I’m constructing is finally up! 💖 Bare with me y’all I know it’s a slow burn but you know the saying, treat ‘em mean, keep em keen 🤪

For Reference:

“All Ego” Ethan Page is Julian

Cori “The Alpha” Dacre is Y/N

Post-breakfast led to a workout in the gym with Ethan, before you both grabbed some quick lunch back at the hotel’s catering and went your respective ways back to your rooms to shower.

Having washed off the sweat and gym grime you’d gone to Twitter, curious to see what everyone was talking about in the lead up to tonight’s Dynamite episode.

Of course the number one topic of interest was Kenny’s return.

You’d seen the Bucks’ recent video of Being The Elite, with the little teaser of Kenny’s theme music at the end giving you excited chills when you first watched it.

That was four hours ago, as now you sat in an Uber on route to the Charleston Coliseum, ready to meet up with the Bucks. Being EVP’s, they had a few other jobs to sort before this evening and had headed down a couple of hours before yourself.

C: 5 mins away.

You text the group chat that contains you and the Bucks, announcing your soon-to-be arrival.

A thumbs up emoji in response. You toss your phone onto the seat beside you, bouncing your legs up and down nervously. Why were you so jittery? You were trying to convince yourself that it couldn’t be anything to do with Kenny, although maybe you were feelings some pre-match nerves for him. It was understandable, but you felt as though you didn’t deserve to be nervous.

Although you’d not seen him training, you knew that Matt and Nick had recently been working this match out with him and neither of them had seemed to hint towards Kenny not being ready to return. You trusted the man’s judgement.

The Uber came to a slow crawl in front of the arena, where there were a few avid, dedicated fans already stood outside the doors of the venue.

You weren’t opposed to meeting fans, on the contrary, you actually loved it and loved meeting such a variety of interesting people. However today you really needed to get inside and ready for the show, which would only be delayed if you were to get out here and potentially risk being recognised.

Politely you ask the driver to continue around the side, where the production trucks and loading bays would be. Here, you could silently head into the building, knowing that security would be manning the side entrances.

You thank the driver, promising to tip him extra as a gesture of appreciation, before heading through the doors at the back of one of the loading bays. Inside there are two security guards stood in the corridor as you predicted, who stop you for identification. You pull out an AAA pass that you keep on your person.

Satisfied, the guards let you pass unbothered, so you shrug your rucksack a bit more securely onto your shoulders and continue on.

C: Where you guys at?

N: Just finishing up a small meeting with TK, head to locker room 6A it’ll have a sign on it!!

You ask another guard nearby where room 6A is, unable to see any signs along the corridor you were walking down that would help you understand where you needed to be.

She directs you up some stairs to the next floor and sends you left, heading further towards where the main area of the venue is.

Finally you spot a door with a piece of paper Blu-tacked to it which states in bold black letters: ELITE DRESSING ROOM - BUCKS, OMEGA & ALPHA.

You can’t help a little smile form on your lips as you read the sign. Turning the handle you find it unlocked, noting that the lights are on, which means someone’s inside.

“Matt? Nick?” You call out confusedly, unable to find anyone sat in the room. Their bags are strung up on some hooks to the far left, so you know they’ve been here already.

There’s the sound of water rushing in the bathroom which stops soon after you call out for the Jackson brothers. You knock timidly on the bathroom door, hoping you don’t startle the occupier. The door opens quickly enough that in the blink of an eye the ugly shade of blue paint is replaced by a broad chest covered with a zip up AEW hoodie. Craning your head back you find Kenny, a smirk perking up on his lips when he sees you standing in front of him.

“Just me, unfortunately.” He jokes, leaning forward slightly, his shoulder resting against the doorframe. The subtle movement brings his body closer to yours.

You force words out this time, not wanting a repeat of earlier today for fear of seeming unprofessional and fangirlish. Although that’s all you felt like when you were around him.

“Nothing unfortunate about it!” You reply, a little too cheerfully. His smile only widens at your remark, showing you a pearly set of teeth as he finds great humour in how you seem to be scrambling for words.

Unable to take his unwavering gaze any more, you turn away and walk over to the other side of the room, feeling the pressure on your chest lift. You felt ridiculous, unable to act normal around someone you’d never met before yet had idolised for so long.

You’d not had nerves this bad since your first time debuting on Dynamite.

Taking a seat on one of the worn leather couches, you pull out your phone, glancing over to see Kenny still stood in the doorway, although he’s also looking at something on his phone.

A ping from your phone pulls your eyes away from the man stood across the room from you, finding a text from Ethan.

E: U @ the venue already? x

You roll your eyes at his texting, but can’t help a little humoured snort come out. You clap a hand over your mouth in embarrassment, eyes instantly shifting to Kenny whose head had popped up at the sound. The pout was gone and he offered you a genuine smile this time.

“How cute.” He comments, before going back to his phone, walking over to the other leather couch opposite the coffee table in front of you as he texts someone. You find warmth radiating in your cheeks at his comment, cursing yourself internally for getting worked up over something so stupid.

You scold yourself and shoot Ethan a text back.

C: Yeah, just sat with Kenny waiting for Matt and Nick x

Ethan’s next reply comes through not even a minute later.

E: JUST sat? thought u were 2 nervous lol x

You scowl at his message, tempted to ferociously stick your finger up at your screen in response. You decide against it, not wanting Kenny to notice and start asking awkward questions that you definitely weren't calm enough to answer with a convincing lie.

C: Fuck off, also not to be grammar police but your spelling is 💩

E: Ur chicken 💩 for being 2 scared and stop trying 2 change subjects

C: I’m changing subjects by ending this convo lol, bye J x

E: Bye chicken 💩 x

His last response brings a smile to your face. You’ve always appreciated Julian’s humour and how easily he can turn your mood around.

“Texting a boyfriend?” Kenny asks earnestly, although you note the hint of curiosity in his voice as he looks over the top of his phone at you.

You can’t help but laugh at his question. “Not quite.” You reply, not wanting to feel as though you’re openly advertising yourself as single. You knew Kenny didn’t really have much of a love life, but you’d be damned if you’d make him think that you were trying to actively throw yourself at anyone who was available.

His eyebrow raises with interest. “What does not quite mean? Are you friends with...”

“No!” You shout, immediately feeling embarrassed at the volume you used. “It’s not like that at all. Just friends.” You assure him, although you’re not sure why you feel the need to. What does it matter to him if you’re seeing someone or not?

That same smirk appears on his unfairly attractive lips again and you can tell he’s enjoying winding you up, although you can’t detect any malice behind it.

“I’m only messing, you don’t need to feel so wound up around me. I’m not that scary am I?” He asks you, his head tilting slightly in question like a dog’s would, his body language relaxed and not at all intimidating.

You let out a heavy sigh. “No, sorry.” You apologise, feeling sheepish for the overreaction. He shakes his head, standing up and moving over so that he’s in front of you. Once again, you have to pull your head back just to be able to make eye contact with him.

“Don’t apologise, I get nervous too.” He offers you a hand in polite gesture. You take it, ignoring that same electric feeling you get whenever your skin seems to make contact with his. He pulls you forward in your seat, bending down and resting his hand on the couch armrest, his curls tickling your cheek as he brings his mouth level to your ear. You can smell his aftershave, a welcoming scent that reminds you of back in Canada. It makes you feel slightly homesick.

“I won’t bite, unless you ask me too.” The sensation of warm air lightly brushing over your ear and neck sends the most delicious tingles down your spine, a familiar warm sensation pooling in the bottom of your stomach.

There’s the tell tale sound of Matt and Nick approaching, the two of them talking loudly to who you assume to be Brandon. Kenny retreats back to his seat, much to your chagrin, with a shit-eating grin on his face. As he sits down the door opens with the Bucks and, you guessed it, Brandon appearing, all seeming chipper and excited.

---------

You’re finished dressing up for the night, wearing a subtler version of your ring makeup and having styled your hair in a way that you like which is casual but cute. The jeans you’ve styled with an off the shoulder top and leather jacket have a BTE patch embroidered on one of the back pockets and you’ve sneakily Tippex-ed an omega sign on the other.

As you bend down to tie up the laces on your trusty Dr Martens you hear a chuckle behind you. Peering over your shoulder you see Kenny pulling out his gear for the evening, his gaze fixed on the symbol you’ve drawn on your backside.

“My eyes aren’t on my ass Omega, keep them up here.” You gesture to your face, standing up straight and giving him the most coquettish smile you can muster.

He grins at your words. With an amused shrug he turns his back on you, pulling off his hoodie so you can’t get a clear view of his body. You do get a view of his back and can see the muscles shift as he runs a hand through his curls. He’s not lost much of his physique in his time off and you have to praise him for that.

You catch Matt’s eye as you go to leave, noticing the wicked grin on his face as his eyes flick back and forth between you and Kenny.

You decide to go find a TV somewhere quiet to watch tonight’s show alone, feeling the need to clear your head before you go out in front of the ravenous crowd.

The show goes well, with the Danielson/Garcia storyline progressing and providing a sweet moment where the crowd chants for Garcia instead of booing him. Punk calls out Hangman unnecessarily, which you find to be out of order, knowing full well that Adam isn’t here tonight to defend himself.

You give a small cheer for Mox when he comes back out later on to call Punk out again, interrupting Tony Nese’s entrance.

Whilst Toni and Kilynn battle it out in the ring together you take this as a good point to stroll towards the backstage area near the tunnels. You’ve had well over an hour to relax and unwind, which you feel has done you the world of good.

As you approach, you spot Don Callis stood a way off with Kenny. The Bucks are nowhere to be seen yet, so you stand around on your phone. You eventually feel a presence and look up to see Kenny stood beside you, fiddling with the tape around his wrists. He’s decked out in a sleeveless, duster-like jacket, with a black compression top on underneath. A precaution, perhaps?

Then you spot the shoulder brace protecting his left side.

“Are you sure you’re ready to wrestle?” You ask him, concern laced into your tone. He doesn’t answer, still struggling with a bit of tape that’s dangling off his wrist. You stand in front of him and grab his arm, tucking the end of the tape in so that it’s secure. With no further distraction he’s forced to look at you.

“There’s no question about it. Besides, this is all just kayfabe for the audience. I feel great.” He assures you, although you can sense his true feelings in his voice. You search his eyes, but all you can see right now is worry. Someone who is scared of doing the one thing he loves the most and screwing it up.

You can hear Le Faccion Ingobernable’s theme hit in the background and know that very shortly you’ll have to go out there with the Bucks.

“Be careful out there. I’d rather you walk back here a winner than us have to carry you back.” You tell him, a fuzzy feeling spreading in your chest when a soft smile spreads across his face, his eyes twinkling with a newfound passion.

“I dread to think what the AEW’s mighty Alpha would do to me if I wasn’t careful.” His tone is playful once more, and you can’t see any hint of those pesky nerves that you feel all too often. Come to think of it though, you didn’t felt nervous around him at all right now, something which you take joy in, as you finally feel relaxed in his presence. Maybe it’s the humbleness of him, that sudden realisation that Kenny Omega is not the god-like character you see him as onscreen.

---------

You could’ve killed him following that barrier spot. Careful, is what you had asked for and this was his idea of it?

Part of you felt like a mark for getting so worked by Kenny’s impeccable selling of each injury and every spot, yet every single strike or move that connected with his body made you cringe.

At the end of the match, following a slight struggle to get the One-Winged Angel, Kenny got the pin and it was finally over. You could breathe easy again.

Remembering that you were still on air, you slid into the ring and knelt beside him, placing a hand on his side where you could feel the bandages wrapping up his torso underneath his shirt.

The Bucks beckoned you to leave the square, knowing the turn on Dragon Lee that was about to take place in the ring. You both slid out and stepped away, one of your arms wrapped around his waist as Kenny leant on you, his “good” arm wrapped around your shoulders. As you closed the distance to reach Matt and Nick, Kenny turns his head and buries his face into your hair, obscuring his lips, from the camera.

“I’m okay.” He mutters to you.

It’s all you need to quell the worry that has sat in your stomach for the past 25 minutes.

Although you know he was only doing so to hide his face, you can’t help but feel a wave of goose bumps erupt at the nape of your neck from the feeling of his lips brushing your ear. You have to mentally slap yourself in order to not lose focus on your current task of acting it up for the camera.

You don’t see the Hammerlock DDT that Andrade enacts on Dragon Lee, but you hear the confused shouts of the crowd and finally see the live feed on the screens go off.

The show is over. But not quite.

Nick runs to the ring, hoping to defend Dragon and in doing so warding off Andrade and Rush. Matt helps Dragon out of the ring and you watch as he manages to hobble off backstage. Kenny moves back towards the ring, his arm leaving your shoulders and instead grabbing your hand, bringing you along with him. His hold never breaks as he helps you up the steel steps.

Matt is sat on the ropes, creating a gap for you to slip through and Kenny follows suit, having retrieved a microphone from Justin Roberts.

You stand in the ring as Kenny addresses the crowd in earnest regarding his return to wrestling. You stand quietly, unable to stop the infectious smile that is plastered across your face as you listen to him.

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hopeintheashes · 2 years

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Fuck-It Friday = the 2.1k that exists of this draft so far, I guess.

post-6x07.

under the cut because it gets an M (or E?) rating on AO3.

He goes again when he gets home from the clinic.

That's not as bad as it sounds. He'd had to get back to his car, and call AAA, and wait for it to get towed, and then take an Uber back to his place, and by the time he's done all that it's nearly noon and he's soaked in sweat and he hasn't eaten anything all day beyond a single glass of that damn green juice for breakfast right before the end of shift.

So. Real food, practically inhaled, and three glasses of water (another thing he hasn't had all day), and then he flips the switch that brings down the blinds and strips on his way to the shower. He leaves his clothes in a pile outside the bathroom door.

He just stands under the water for a while. He hasn't stopped moving all day. He's exhausted but too keyed up to sleep. He can't fucking believe it's finally done.

Thank god.

The relief is a dozen-fold. Connor and Kameron finally have what they need. They won't be calling ten times in a row or showing up at the station and blowing his cover. He can stop fighting his way into the clinic's lobby only to be turned away again and again. And.

Well.

He hadn't even sat down once he'd gotten into the room at the clinic. Barely glanced at the magazines before setting them aside. Hadn't even pictured anyone, not really, not beyond a vague idea of hot and tanned and muscles and curves. After a month— a fucking month— there was no time or need for fantasy, not even with the weirdness of there are strangers right outside that door, and they all know exactly what's going on. Pure physical reaction: button undone; zipper down; go, go, go, go, go. Stars exploding before his eyes, legs shaking so hard he could barely stand, almost fucking up the actual collection part when his whole lower body went numb with the release.

He's hard again just thinking about it. The way he'd gasped his way into it and then cried out, too far gone to care whether anyone could hear.

He exhales through pursed lips and pours conditioner into his hand.

~ ~ ~

Eddie sends him a selfie from the beach.

There are photos of Chris surfing as well, so that's got to be why he send them in the first place, but. This one. Full screen.

Goddamn.

He hesitates. Swipes the photo closed.

Brings it back up again.

Jesus Christ.

He forces himself to close the photo. Pulls up porn instead.

One of the guys in the scene looks like Eddie.

He tries not to think about it, and fails.

~ ~ ~

Okay. He's got himself under control.

His month of need is satisfied (at least, it'd better be, after three times in half a day…), he can eat what he wants, and the deed is done. So. He can just move on. Not think about any of it.

Yeah.

Eddie texts him just as he's thinking about what he's going to do about dinner. Want to come over?

Fuck.

He does not get hard when Eddie gives him a hug at the door.

There's a rush, though. This certainty that if he hadn't spend the entire day exhausting himself, he'd be up for it again.

Heat rises in his cheeks.

He thinks about Pennsylvania winters, and freezing lakes.

Exhales, and smiles at Eddie like he hasn't lost his mind, and the moment is over before Chris comes into the room.

~ ~ ~

Dinner is good. Normal. They play a board game, after, and have some ice cream, and watch just one episode (yeah, turns out to be two) of this show Chris has successfully gotten Eddie hooked on. Chris is falling asleep on Buck's shoulder by the time it's done, and Buck's head fucking aches with how much he wants nights like tonight all the time. With how fast Chris is growing up. With how much he misses when he's not there.

You do realize he's not your kid, some voice in his head says, and the wash of it is bitter in his mouth.

Eddie's looking at him, concerned. Buck swallows and shakes his head. Shakes himself. Gently convinces Chris to wake up enough to make it to his room.

"Come on, kiddo. Time for bed."

Chris mumbles a half-hearted protest, but lets Buck pull him to his feet. Braces himself on Buck's arm for the walk down the hall, his muscles uncoordinated with sleep.

"Night," Chris says through a huge yawn, and Buck ruffles his hair.

"Good night. Sleep well."

~ ~ ~

He's tired enough that he's thinking about heading home so that he can go to sleep, too, even though it's not even nine.

Thinking about it makes it worse: The tiredness and the thought of trading the coziness of the Diaz house for the emptiness of his own apartment.

Not just fatigue and dispassion.

Exhaustion and dread.

"Buck?"

His hands are shaking, just a little. He tucks them under his thighs.

"Yeah."

Eddie's standing at the entrance to the living room, looking at him with concern again. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Oh. Uh." He pulls a hand down his face. It comes away damp with sweat. "Water?"

The furrow of Eddie's eyebrows deepens. "Okay?"

He should've asked for a beer.

"So," Eddie says, when he comes back with water for Buck and a beer for himself. "Sperm donation?"

Buck groans and hides his face in his hands. Eddie sets down his water on the coffee table and sits down next to him on the couch. Buck was hoping they could have this conversation from further across the room. Or never. "Connor's an old friend. They needed help; I decided to help."

"Hmm." Eddie takes a sip of his beer.

"What?" Buck turns his head in his hands to look at him sideways.

"What's the story with them…" Eddie gestures vaguely with his beer bottle. "Showing up at work?"

Buck sits up enough to grab his water off of the coffee table, and takes a sip. "They got nervous. The process was taking… longer than expected."

Eddie raises his eyebrows.

"Not that part! Just." He takes another sip of water to avoid meeting Eddie's eyes. "Every time I tried to go to the clinic, there was some sort of roadblock. Sometimes literally a roadblock."

"So you've been at this for…?"

He squeezes his eyes closed, already knowing what Eddie's going to say. "A month."

"A month?" Eddie leans in, incredulous. "And you just… didn't mention this? At all? For a month?"

"It wasn't supposed to take that long!" Defensive. "It just kept getting pushed back."

"Wait." Eddie's eyebrows furrow. "A month since they asked, or a month of roadblocks?"

He bites his lip, guilty.

"Buck!"

"I didn't…" He squeezes his eyes shut again. "I didn't want you to try to talk me out of it. Or into it, I don't know! I just needed to make the decision myself."

"With Hen," Eddie says, and Buck groans.

"Yes, okay, with Hen! And Maddie."

"Okay!" Pointedly nonchalant. Like that doesn't bother him at all.

It's not remotely convincing.

"Sorry." Looking at the ground.

Eddie softens. "Okay. So they asked, and you said yes, and then you spent a month running into roadblocks."

"And drinking green juice." Head tipped back against the couch. "And not—" Jesus, he's not even drunk. He snaps his mouth closed and sits up.

Real smooth.

"And not…?" Eddie asks suspiciously.

Oh, god. "Um. You know." His cheeks are burning again.

"I do not." Eyebrows maximally raised.

"Uh." He makes an entirely unhelpful hand gesture. "Practicing for the big day?"

"What?" Utter confusion, and then Buck can see the moment that it clicks. "Oh—"

"Yeah."

"Buck." He puts down his beer. "A month?"

"It wasn't supposed to be that long!"

"I would've…" An equally vague gesture. "Exploded, probably."

Oh, god. These images of Eddie, alone in his bedroom, giving in to the need. Of the point where every brush of fabric takes him right to the edge. Of wet dreams. He pulls a pillow into his lap. "It was… not ideal."

"And then they showed up." Serious, again. "Which is…" He clasps Buck's shoulder, which does not help the other issue at hand. "Not great."

Buck blinks at him. "Well, they tried to call."

"Okay? Did they try leaving a voicemail? Waiting until you were off shift?"

"It was… urgent, I guess. With the… cycle, and everything." God, how did he end up talking about his ex-roommate's wife's ovulation with his best friend? "If they didn't get it in time, they would've had to wait another month."

"And they didn't have that information a week ago?"

"I don't know, Eddie, okay?" He crosses one arm across his chest and picks at the pillow's seam with the other. "It's done."

Eddie's quiet for a minute, drinking his beer. "So what happens now?"

Buck gives him a look. "I think you know what happens now."

Eddie doesn't take the bait. "Do you get to find out if it works?"

Buck frowns. "Why wouldn't I get to find out if it works?"

"I don't know, that might not be part of the deal for some people. What did you guys agree to?" At Buck's look of confusion: "Like, level of contact? Will you get pictures? Did you give them permission to tell the kid who you are?"

"I…" Buck's suddenly very cold. "I don't know." He swipes at his forehead, and his hand comes away sweaty again.

Eddie puts his beer back down. "You didn't talk through any of that?"

"No?" He's starting to feel slightly sick.

"But you signed some sort of paperwork."

"At the clinic, but that was just the, yes, it's me, I'm donating to these people, all that." He frowns. "I think. I was kind of in a rush."

"Buck."

"What does it matter? It's done." He picks up his water with a shaking hand.

Eddie scrubs at the spot between his eyes. "It's done until this kid gets on 23andMe in eighteen years and nine months. Or until you start getting pregnancy updates and birth updates and baby updates and then it all just kind of… fades away. Or until you go fourteen years with nothing and then they decide the kid is old enough for them to give them your name, and next thing you know they're following you on social media. Or showing up at your place of work."

"Eddie." Almost a whisper.

He shakes his head. "I promise I'm not trying to be cruel. This is just the sort of shit you have to think about. Talk about. Because…" He hesitates, then plows ahead. "These people don't seem like they have the strongest grasp on boundaries. Among other things."

"Eddie," he says again, a little bit desperate, because it's done, okay? It's done.

He's sweating. His heart is beating fast. It feels like he can't quite breathe.

He tries.

His chest is tight. Too tight.

He's shaking.

He's not getting enough air.

"Hey." Eddie, in close. "Oh, hey, no, you're okay."

Is he? He feels like he's losing his mind.

The weight of Eddie's hands on his shoulders takes him by surprise and grounds him in equal measure.

"Okay," Eddie's saying. "Okay."

He's taking slow, deep breaths, waiting for Buck to mirror him.

He can't,

and then he thinks, maybe—

and then he does.

Okay.

~ ~ ~

He's shivery in the aftermath, head aching from the tension.

Eddie's hand is on his forehead as soon as he starts to come down.

So.

Maybe not just from the tension.

"What do you think," Eddie murmurs, running his fingers through Buck's hair, "stress fever?" He traces down Buck's jawline and Buck shivers. Eddie frowns when he hits the tender lymph nodes under Buck's jaw. "Or fever-fever?"

He wants to sink into Eddie's arms. "Stress," he manages, and Eddie nods. Sometimes he wishes Eddie didn't know that particular quirk about him.

He also can't picture a world in which Eddie doesn't know.

Or.

He could.

It's lonely, and it's cold.

He shivers again.

"Lie down. I'll get you a blanket."

He does.

~ ~ ~

He opens his eyes to darkness.

His throat hurts, and his head hurts, and he has to pee.

Well, one of those he can fix, anyway.

Eddie calls his name when he opens the bathroom door when he's done. Buck hesitates, then pushes open Eddie's bedroom door.

"C'mere." His voice is rough with sleep and his hair is a mess. Buck steps forward, and Eddie catches his hand and pulls him to sit down next to him on the bed. "How're you doing?"

Buck shrugs.

[tbc]

#and that's all i've got so far #writing updates #fuck it friday

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just-a-demi-bean · 1 year

Text

I posted 750 times in 2022

261 posts created (35%)

489 posts reblogged (65%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@heejakes

@many-gay-magpies

@empiria-caterima

@arsonist-twink

@yotaasuke

I tagged 373 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags

#asks!! - 53 posts

#my art!! - 16 posts

#anons!! - 16 posts

#magpie bean!! - 12 posts

#karma love!! - 11 posts

#mori bean!! - 10 posts

#cool moodboards!! - 10 posts

#kyuzu bean!! - 9 posts

#artzyy love!! - 9 posts

#aaa - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#they get into a fight and come out with relatively non-threatening injuries and then whine about it to their respective people

My Top Posts in 2022:

daichi probably doesn’t get jealous very often, but when he does, he goes absolutely silent and sends the person a very intense death glare. occasionally suga just has to smack him on the back of the head (gently of course)(kind of) and shove him away while lecturing him about getting jealous to completely random people that suga just happens to talk to. daichi whines about how they were looking into suga’s eyes for too long.

20 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

the words “spring” and “summer” don’t feel like they have the same number of letters.

20 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

legitimately, where did the ship name “matchablossom” come from. not like the show or why it’s called that, but just…who looked at joe and cherry and thought “matchablossom”

24 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

ni-ki + flower crown

29 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The fact that Eric Adam’s (NYC mayor) first response to Michelle Go’s death was to increase the presence of police in subways says a lot about what NYC is doing to combat shit like Asian Hate and homelessness.

Michelle Go was an Asian-American woman who was pushed in front of an NYC subway in January. (It was not investigated as a hate crime: you can read about that here). This caused a lot of concern for the rising rates of mental illness and homelessness associated with crimes like these. And Eric Adam’s response was to increase the number of police in subway stations.

The thing is—this is just making things worse. My own mother is scared of going on the subways nowadays because of Asian hate crimes. My BIPOC friends hate going because of the police. The thing is, we can’t just stop taking the subway. Even after the terrible events on April 12, the shooting on a Brooklyn train, we couldn’t just call an uber to get home—most of us can’t afford that. Even when they hadn’t caught the shooter yet, I was still riding the subway home. There’s nothing we can do.

I have received so many lectures on being a feminine-looking person on the subway. One earbud out, or none at all. Eyes up. Be aware. Don’t take off your jacket. If there is someone—anyone—unsettling, then walk the other way.

It’s worse now. No eye contact. No music. Don’t stand at the edge of the platform, stand in the middle, behind a pillar, behind a person, because someone could push you in. Text me when you get there. Call me when you get home. If there’s someone who looks suspicious, you don’t walk, you run.

If that is how it is for me, a young Asian American, how is if for others? For those women? For those other Asians? For those 2 million Black individuals in NYC? For any other scared BIPOC that live in this damn city?

More police is not the answer. More police means more fear. This does not create a safe environment, as Eric Adams claims it does.

Fund platform screen doors. Fund homeless shelters. Fund medical aid for those struggling with poor mental health.

This does not help our city. And our mayor is blind to it all.

642 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #hehe #hi im alive

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dalechevy32004 · 2 years

Photo

Our police department rocks...

Whitman Police Department · While reviewing our police log I noticed an incident where someone called our station well after midnight to report an erratic operator (Good job, see something, say something). The caller gave a detailed description of the vehicle in question, its erratic operation, and even told us that it was currently parked in a public lot. We frequently get calls like this and we typically send a cruiser to the area and look for the vehicle in question. Officers were able to locate the vehicle and its operator. The vehicle had a rear passenger side flat tire with pieces of metal gouged and broken from its rim. The front passenger side tire was also gouged. There was also scrapes above the wheel consistent with paint transfer. Our officers were also able to quickly locate the operator of the vehicle. For obvious reasons we are not going to use real names here. Let’s just call the owner/erratic operator of the vehicle “Richard”. While talking to Richard our officers confirmed that Richard was the operator of the vehicle. Richard acknowledged knowing about the flat tire and stated that he had called AAA. During conversation with Richard officers could smell a slight odor of alcohol. Richards speech was abnormally slow and deliberate. Richards eyes were bloodshot. One of our officers asked Richard if he had struck a curb somewhere? Richard became agitated and asked to speak with a supervisor. Luckily for Richard he was already speaking to the supervisor. Richard began to call one of the officers a “clown” because the officer could not tell him what he (Richard)had struck. We realize most crime shows on television solve much more serious crimes/incidents in less than an hour but honestly, sometimes it just takes us longer. Long story longer; the officers documented the damage, checked the area for any signs of damage and then offered Richard a ride home. (A very reasonable offer considering the circumstances) Richard refused the ride. Richard’s vehicle stayed in the public lot to await AAA’s arrival. Important Note: Most of the time when we show up somewhere, it’s not random. We likely received a call for service that we are obligated to respond to. It’s our job. Erratic operator calls are frequent, but, as we all know, they can be the catalyst to locating and identifying impaired drivers. These calls can be complex and usually take much information and investigation to determine the cause. The holiday season is a great time of year, but it’s also a time where we see an increase of motor vehicle accidents and OUI’s. In this season of office parties, family and friends gatherings, and celebrations, please do not drive while under the influence of any drug or alcohol. We prefer not to have interactions like the one above. Please utilize designated drivers, and ride share services such as Lyft and Uber. Understand that we have a responsibility to answer calls for service and will continue to do so. DON’T drive erratically like Richard. DON'T drink and drive, as we suspect Richard of doing. DON'T be a Richard! Wishing everyone a safe and Happy Holiday Season!

🤗

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haikyuuphilia · 3 years

Note

can i request the boys as classic vines from back in the day? sometimes i miss 2014 man 😔✊🏽 in my head kuroo & bokuto made them all the time😩

ajlsdfjk YES OF COURSE!! this is really chaotic and i spent WAY too long on it

also quick warning that most of these aren’t clean lmao

haikyuu characters as vines

→ HINATA: oh my god he on X games mode

→ KAGEYAMA: he needs some milk

→ YAMAGUCHI: mother trucker dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick

→ TSUKISHIMA: i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me

→ TANAKA: what the FUCK is up, kyle? no, what did you say? step the FUCK up

→ TANAKA to KIYOKO: i love you, bitch. i ain’t never gon stop loving you... bitch

→ NISHINOYA this bitch empty. YEET

→ TANAKA, NISHINOYA, & YAMAMOTO: *moving in sync* it’s all around the world just la la la la la

→ ASAHI: aa. aaa. AAAAAAAAAAA

→ SUGA: so i’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties

→ DAICHI: miss keisha? miss keisha? oh my fuckin god, she fuckin dead

→ KIYOKO: “has anybody ever told you you look like beyonce?” “nah they usually tell me i look like shalissa”

→ YACHI: “i’m lesbian” “i thought you were american”

→ TAKEDA: is there anything better than pussy? yes, a really good book

→ UKAI: “dad look, it’s the good kush” “this is the dollar store, how good can it be”

→ OIKAWA: when there’s too much drama at school, all you gotta do is walk awaAaAaAay

→ OIKAWA & IWAIZUMI: oikawa: so basically, what i was thinking was um *iwaizumi punches him* aw fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this

→ IWAIZUMI: what’s better than this? guys bein’ dudes

→ HANAMAKI: happy crismus. it’s crismus. merry crisis. merry chrysler

→ MATSUKAWA: we all die you either kill yourself or get killed

→ TERUSHIMA: so no head?

→ FUTAKUCHI: it’s britney bitch

→ AONE: hi my name’s trey i got a basketball game tomorrow. i’m point guard, i got shoot game

→ KUROO: *nae naes to heart and soul*

→ KENMA: completely giving up. starring Me, Me, Me, and introducing Me

→ LEV: hurricane katrina? more like hurricane tortilla

→ KUROO & BOKUTO: two bros chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay

→ BOKUTO to HINATA: hi. i’m renata bliss and i’m your freestyle dance teacher

→ BOKUTO: what up i’m jared i’m 19 and i never fucking learned how to read

→ AKAASHI: ... good evening

→ USHIJIMA: “who’s the hottest uber driver you’ve ever had?” “um i’ve never been to oovoo javer”

→ TENDOU: there is only one thing worse than a rapist. boom. a child

→ ATSUMU: on all levels except physical, i am a wolf

→ ATSUMU/OSAMU: hey everybody, today my brother pushed me, so i’m starting a kickstarter to put him down. the benefits of killing him is that i would be pushed way less

→ ATSUMU and OSAMU: *atsumu shoots gun* osamu: “this is why mom doesn’t fucking love you”

→ OSAMU: can i get a waffle? can i please get a waffle?

→ ARAN: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine but you’re not really fine

→ SUNA: “and they were roommates” “oh my god they were roommates”

→ KITA: country boy, i LoVe yOu... blehh

→ SAKUSA: “you know what? i’m about to say it.” “say it.” “i don’t care that you broke your elbow”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #hq hcs #haikyuu #hq headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reactions #haikyuu headcanon #request.filled #philia.headcanons

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wildflowerirwin · 4 years

Text

Hood On Hoods - c.h.

Summary: Calum’s a mechanic with a fantasy of fucking on the hood of a car

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, used cock and pussy a few times I guess

Have fun!

The word ‘convenient’ was all that popped into Y/N’s head as her car popped and tutted its way to a complete stop in the middle of the freeway. Lucky enough for her, though she still considered herself unlucky, it was 4 o’clock in the morning, and there wasn’t a single car in sight. She turned her hazard lights on and pulled the key from the ignition before reaching into her backpack and grabbing her phone. She scrolled through her contacts, looking for AAA, but found herself stopping on a different contact.

Calum (Ethics and Philosophy 235)

She chewed on her lip as she pressed on his name, holding the phone to her ear. “Mm, Hello?” His voice was thick with sleep and she almost hung up without saying anything.

“Hi, Calum?” She asked sheepishly, her cheeks burning red.

“Uh huh, who is this?” He asked, clearing his throat.

“Uhm, it’s Y/N. We were in a group together for the Ethics and Philosophy 235 presentation.” She explained, her teeth digging into her lip once more.

“Oh.. what do you want?” It came out ruder than he had intended, but it was 4am and he barely knew her.

“You’re a mechanic, right?” She asked and he hummed in agreement. “Well, my car broke down in the middle of the freeway. Like complete stop.”

“Y/N, it’s 4 in the morning.” Calum sighed.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry.” She panicked, again almost ending the call.

“It’s fine.” Calum sighed again. “Where are you? I’ll get my truck and meet you there.” Calum ran his fingers over his buzz cut and down over his eyes.

“I’m at exit 44 off of 694, just before the ramp.” Y/N explained.

“Alright, sit tight. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” Calum said, ending the call. Y/N leaned back in her seat, her head hitting the headrest as she let out an exasperated breath. She felt like an idiot calling him, but she knew a tow truck from AAA would take hours to get there.

She let her eyes close as she waited. Just as she was about to doze off, Calum’s knuckles rapped against her window, pulling her from her sleep-like state. “Oh, hi.” She said, quickly getting out of the car.

“What were you doing driving at 4am?” Calum asked as he grabbed the hook from his truck.

“I was coming back from campus. I’ve got a 20 page paper to write on the McDonald’s hot coffee case.” Y/N sighed, hugging her cardigan tighter around herself as she watched Calum. His bicep strained as he hooked onto her car, loading it up onto the back of the truck.

“Maybe next time, you should work from home.” Calum quipped, the smallest smirk tugging at his lips.

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.” Y/N retorted.

“Come on, get in the truck.” Calum shook his head and climbed into the cab. Y/N jogged around to the other side and slid in next to Calum.

“Thanks for doing this.” She smiled softly at him.

“No problem.” He smiled back at her and took off down the freeway. He pulled up at the shop, the neon sign that read ‘Hood Auto Repair’ was a dim navy color compared to the bright blue it was when it was lit up. Y/N got out of the car and watched Calum lower the car into the garage. “You’re welcome to stay and watch, or I can get you an Uber home.” Calum said and looked down at her.

“I’ll wait to see how long you think it’ll be, then I’ll decide.” She nodded and followed him inside. Calum nodded and pulled a chair over for her before he popped open the hood of her car. Y/N took a seat and watched Calum as he looked at each piece of the engine. “Any idea how long it’ll take?” She asked.

“Uhm, probably a few hours.” Calum said, wiping the back of his hand on his cheek, some oil coming off onto his olive skin. Y/N chewed on her lip as she watched.

“I-I’ll stay until it’s done. I-if that’s okay..” Y/N stammered, blushing lightly. Calum smirked to himself as he went back to work.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He chuckled.

“What’s wrong with it?” Y/N asked.

“Your alternator is burnt out. I just need to replace a couple things and you’ll be good as new.” Calum explained, pulling a few parts from her car. Y/N nodded and watched as he worked.

“So, does your family own this place?” She asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

“Yeah, kinda. My uncle technically owns it, but he’s, uh, not really able to run it right now. So I’ve been in charge.”

“Oh, why’s that?” She asked.

“Mm, it’s kinda personal..” Calum sighed softly.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry.” Y/N nodded, looking down at her lap.

“It’s fine.” Calum shook his head. “My uncle’s in prison. He got wrapped up in some sketchy shit and he took the fall for shit he didn’t do.”

“Oh.. I’m so sorry..” Y/N sighed.

“It just sucks, you know? My uncle is a great guy, but his whole reputation was tarnished over this. Business has been awful lately because of it. That’s why I agreed to help you, we need the business.”

“Well, my car will always be willing to give you the business.” Y/N said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Thanks.” Calum chuckled. Y/N smiled and watched as he worked, her eyes lingering on his biceps. Little beads of sweat began to form at his hairline as he worked at reattaching the new parts.

After nearly 2 hours, Y/N could hardly stay still in her seat. She crossed her legs and clenched her thighs together, trying to ease the ache in her core as she watched the sweat drip down Calum’s toned bicep. His t-shirt was tight around the muscles and she could see the veins in his forearm become visible as he gripped the alternator tighter. “Alright, you’re all set.” Calum said, slamming the hood closed.

“A-Already?” Y/N asked, standing up.

“It’s been two hours.” Calum chuckled, wiping the oil off his hands and onto the rag, though most of it stayed.

“How much do I owe you?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Don’t worry about it.” Calum smirked. “This time is on me.”

“But, you need the business.”

“Business will be business.” Calum said, looking down at her. “I saw the way you were watching me, Y/N.” He smirked and she swallowed hard.

“Y-You noticed?” Y/N asked, her cheeks growing red.

“Oh, I noticed.” Calum chuckled, pressing his lips to hers. She melted against him, her arms snaking around his neck. His hands gripped at her ass as he lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.

“Hard to keep my eyes off you when your biceps look like they’re going to burst through your shirt.” Y/N gasped out as Calum’s lips found the skin of her neck. Calum smirked against her skin as he set her down on the hood of her car.

“Ever since that group project, I’ve always been captivated by you, Calum.” Y/N hummed, pulling Calum down into a needy kiss. Calum kissed back, his hands squeezing her breasts. Y/N moaned softly into the kiss.

“I’ve been captivated by you, too. The way you bite your lip when you’re nervous, how you chew on the end of your pens when you’re concentrating.” Calum mused, bringing his hands to the button of her jeans. He smirked down at her as he unbuttoned them, pulling them down. Y/N bit her lip as she did the same to him, pulling his Calvin Klein boxers down with them. His hard cock sprung up against his stomach.

“Fuck, it’s been a while since I’ve done this.” Y/N hummed as she pushed her panties down. She kicked her shoes off and kicked her jeans and panties to the ground.

“God, fuck. You’re fucking beautiful.” Calum bit his lip and pressed his lips to hers again. A small whimper left her lips as Calum rubbed the tip of his cock against her clit.

“Please, Calum..” Y/N bucked her hips. Calum smirked down at her as he thrusted into her. She moaned and arched her back against the car.

“Oh God, that feels so good.” Y/N moaned out. Calum groaned and gripped her hips as his hips moved faster against hers. “Calum, harder.” Y/N moaned, her fingers digging into his biceps.

“You like it rough, eh?” Calum smirked as his pace quickened. His hips pounded against hers as his thumb rubbed slow circles on his clit.

“Fuck, yes. God, don’t stop.” She moaned, her nails digging into his biceps. Calum groaned lowly he felt her clenching around him. “I’m so close.” Y/N moaned, squeezing her eyes closed.

“Open those eyes, baby girl.” Calum smirked, bringing his hand to her throat. Y/N moaned louder and opened her eyes, looking up at Calum. He tightened his grip on her throat as his hips pounded against hers. “You take my cock so well.” Calum groaned.

“Oh, my God. Fuck.” Y/N moaned as her orgasm washed over her. Her eyes squeezed shut as her thighs shook.

“Shit, Y/N.” Calum grunted as his hips stilled, his cock twitching as he released inside her. “Oh God, your pussy was made for me.” Y/N moaned softly at his words, pulling him down into a slow kiss. Calum let his lips move against hers as he pulled out slowly.

“Fuck, that was incredible.” Y/N breathed slowly as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“I’ve never fucked anyone on the hood of a car before, but it has been a fantasy of mine.” Calum chuckled.

“Glad to have been of service.” Y/N giggled and pulled her panties and jeans back on.

“Well, now that we’ve fulfilled a fantasy of mine, how about we fulfil one of yours?” Calum smirked as he pulled his boxers and jeans up.

“Mm, take me to dinner first, Hood.” Y/N giggled, pressing her lips to his.

Tags: @myloverboyash @i-calumhood @dontdoitluke @cthoodaf @rosesfromcth @aliencal @spicycal @bloodmoonashton @noshamenion @calum-uncrowned @opinionatedpisces-official @yessirashton

#5sos #5sos smut #calum smut #calum hood #5 seconds of summer #my writing #5sos writing #smut #fic #fanfic #imagine #imagines #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer imagine

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heronducks · 4 years

Text

THE DARK ARTIFICES AS VINES

(TID as vines)

----------------

Kit, Ty and Livvy (in blankets and sunglasses): *dancing to it goes around the world just nanananana*

---------------

Julian: I don't sing in the shower

Julian: I PERFORM

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Cristina: hey babes happy one year

Mark and Kieran:

Cristina:

Mark and Kieran: we're 27

---------------

Horace: what are you thinking about?

Zara: H*tler

Horace: hm

Horace: me too

--------------

Julian: let me see what you have

Tavvy: a knife!

Julian: nO

--------------

Cristina: would you rather kill Zara or–

Emma: yes. kill her.

Cristina: I didn't say the other–

Emma: I don't need to hear it

Zara: feeling a little unsafe...

-------------

Mark: go to del taco

Mark: they got a new thing called..

Mark: fr esha vo–

Mark: fresh–

Mark: fre sha voca do

-------------

Dru: hey everyone today my brother (Tavvy) pushed me so I'm starting a kickstarter to put him down

Dru: the benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less

--------------

Julian: and just remember...

Julian: nobody is gonna hate you more than you already hate yourself

---------------

Horace: no off topic questions

Horace: because I don't want to

Horace: no tha– no

Horace: permission denied

Horace: that's an off topic question, next

Horace: you have been stopped

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Diana (teaching): Kit has 19 bottles of soap–

Ty: wait why does Kit have so much soap

Kit: mind your own business, Ty!

---------------

Mark: HEY HEY HEY

Julian: sshhhhhh tavvy is sleeping

Mark, whispering: sorry

Julian, also whispering: what's up?

Mark, still whispering: there's a fire

---------------

Dru: when there's too much drama at the institute

Dru: all you gotta do is

Dru: walk awaaAaYyY

----------------

Mark: I wanna be a cowboy baby!

Kieran: hell yeah

Mark: I wanna be a cowboy baby!

---------------

Kit: hey how much money do you have

Ty: 69 cents

Kit: ha you know what that means

Ty, almost crying: I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets

---------------

Diana: hi I'm renata bliss and I'm your freestyle dance teacher

---------------

Zara: you wouldn't like me before my coffee

Emma: great cause I fucking hate you

Emma: all the time

---------------

Mark: road work ahead?

Mark: uh yeah I sure hope it does

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Kit: don't fuck with me I have the power of God and anime on my side

--------------

Julian: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand

Emma: Poseidon quivers before him!

Julian: fuck off

--------------

The blackthorns: *are loud*

Aline: hey hey kids KIDS

Aline: PATRICIA

Aline: honey can you be quiet

--------------

Random guy: Whats the hottest Uber driver you ever had

Mark: uhh I never went to oovoo javer

--------------

Julian: well when life gives you lemons

--------------

Mark: vitamin c is Spanish for vitamin yes

Cristina:

--------------

*at the downworlder-shadowhunter alliance*

Alec: I love working here it's just – we all have a lot of laughs

Alec: fuck off Maia I'm not going to your fucking baby shower

---------------

Jia: Zara what do you want to become when you grow up?

Zara: I wanna become president

Jia: awww

Zara: so I can make slavery legal again

Jia: oooHHH o.o

---------------

Diana: mark, could you read number 3 for the class please

Mark: no I cannot

Mark: whadupp I'm mark I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

---------------

Livvy: TY! is that a weed?

Ty: no that's a crayon

Livvy: I'm calling the police

Livvy: *dials 911 on a microwave*

~911 what's your emergency?~

----------------

Julian: hey can you toss me my stele

Mark: *throws a printer*

Julian: I said my STELE

Mark: I thought you said printer

Julian: why tHE FUCK WOULD I –

------------------

Emma @ the cohort: why the fuck you lyin

Emma: why you always lyin

Emma: mhh oh my god stop fucking lyin

-----------------

Zara: haha tHAt is nOt coRReCt

Zara: because according to the encyclopedia of fjsosnxjoalahz

-----------------

Dru: Dear Diary, today I couldn't find my diary

Dru: so I'm writing this on both of my kung Fu Panda 2 DVDs

-----------------

Tavvy: an avocado thanksss

-----------------

Manuel: Zara your speech was so good

Zara: omg I didn't even try and it was like improv

Manuel: oh my god why don't you just take the frickin complemEEEEEE–

-----------------

Cristina: so I am confusion

Cristina: why is this one Kansas but this one is not arkansas

Cristina: America explain what do you mean with arkanSOOO

-----------------

Emma: what would you do if there was a child right on front of you

Zara: *pushes it*

-----------------

Tavvy: I smell like beeef

-----------------

Manuel: stop saying I look like chicken little

Manuel: he's dumb and he's a coward

Manuel: and I'm NOT a COWARD

----------------

Cristina: bitch don't step on my toe with your fucking cowgirl boots bitch disGUSTING

----------------

Diego: people are constantly asking what it's like to be a sexy –

Diego: *trips and falls*

----------------

the blackthorn kids: *being mean to Helen*

Aline: NOT ON MY WATCH

----------------

Zara: YOU FUCKING DIE

Emma: I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me

----------------

Julian: livvy? livvy?

Julian: oh my fucking god she fucking dead

----------------

*Julian's parabatai rune hurts*: AA

*Emma gets black marks*: AAA

*Julian and emma turn into fucking giants*: AAAAAAAAAA

----------------

34 notes · View notes

exfriends · 3 years

Text

I'm not allowed to not know how to do something. I have to figure it out, because if I don't figure it out, it fails, and when it fails, there's no one to help put it together again. This is a piece of real life venting that I want to print out and give my ACOA sponsor to try and help me move through the resentments I feel towards my partner and how I was raised.

My apartments ceiling is leaking severely. There's an issue with the new roof they just installed. I take off work, I put out buckets, I call maintenance. Eventually, my neighbors ceiling caved in. I have to evacuate. I get the cats, get my valuables, and I sit in my car for four hours trying to figure out where I'm supposed to go because my partner is the kind of person who never had to figure shit out. He just clings and gets in my face and tries to comfort with physical touch and I just want to scream "I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE NOT A SINGLE PROBLEM SOLVING BONE IN YOUR BODY SO CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE SO I CAN FIX EVERYTHING AGAIN THANKS" because at every opportunity i am reminded that he lived a life where he could trust, where he could ask for help and actually get it, and i am the wounded self trying to cope with my unmanageable trauma by controlling every single thing around me and he doesn't have to experience that kind of pain and it makes me angry because why did i have to go through it all? why the fuck did i have to get beaten regularly/emotionally abused/berated for years until i crashed and moved out so quickly that i didnt even know where i was going. i arranged every element of us moving here because i had reached my bottom and i couldn't wait anymore. and because of my haste i am exactly what my aunt believes me to be; someone who doesn't think, who is stupid, who rushes into things because i want it when i want it and i want it now, but it never feels that way to me because how could it?

telling my cousin that i was moving out, he told me i was making a terrible financial decision moving into an apartment bc i wasn't building any equity, and i screamed at him that at what point am i supposed to consider my own emotional and physical safety for once, rather than my investments. steve knew what was happening to me because the last time i got beat and kicked out i stole her car keys and wouldn't return them until she gave me my medication and allowed me to pack my things. thrown out again in my pajamas, i took a fucking uber to the AAA that had my car at the time, and drove to my partners house where i cried on the floor as my phone blew up and everyone told me to go home. and when i told him it happened to me again, he downplayed it. "you know she just goes through these things, she gets frustrated" he couldn't understand, wouldn't understand, because he saw it as a choice this whole time. how could it be a choice, when i know she needs me? but she would never admit that she did need me, she always said that she didnt and would go through these phases where she demanded that i go and i still believed that she did need me because how could she not? the last time she tried to hurt me again i was in my pajamas and i stood up for myself and refused to leave until i could put clothes on. she beat me and destroyed my bathroom because the beating wasn't good enough because she wasn't strong anymore. i got what i wanted, i got to change clothes and leave. and when i left, i went to my partners house again and slept. but always with the boundary. you can't stay here. i don't know how to help you. why is it that when i do ask for help, for someone to take care of me, i'm met with the things they can't do for me? when i was walking around town bleeding from my hands when she clawed me years prior, i asked for help because i had no way of getting anywhere, i only had my phone that time, i didn't think six steps ahead to hide money in my car or when she got mad to stuff my phone down my shirt with 20 bucks in the case--and the person i asked couldn't help me because they had to work, they couldn't drive, didn't know anyone that could come and get me. the other person i asked stated "that sucks im sorry thats happening to you" and then proceeded to change the subject.

I ACTUALLY FOUND THE CONVO WHICH WAS AWESOME BECAUSE IT VALIDATED HOW THE FUCK I FELT AT THE TIME

now the home i grew up in is exactly the way i left it in march, except now there's more damage. every place i hid is exactly how i left it, but my aunt's pain is leaking all over the house, there is so much mess and so much hoarding and she's overwhelmed with it all and the dogs spend all their time in the kitchen because she never comes home and its unfair that i chose myself over the wellbeing of that household i feel like sometimes, because it really was my choice to leave even though i felt like my choice was obvious.

and today, in my apartment with holes in the ceiling (that are now leaking water- by the way) my aunt texts me. "i am here for you". and i cry again because despite everything that has ever happened to me, i feel like i am doomed to want her approval and praise for every decision that i make.

"hey, you know, even though i am panicking, i know i did everything right, i took the video, i called the emergency line, i tarped the electronics, like all things considered i knew what to do for the most part and i'm really proud of myself for that"

"yeah, it's good that you knew to do that."

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sword-and-shield-writings · 4 years

Note

Hey! Good luck with your super cute blog!!!! ABout the request: How about a SFW fluffy OneShot for Raihan who has a crush a t the cute female reader who works at the local Pokemarkt, but she is very very shy; How would he go about that?

Aaa thank you boo!! And this is the most adorable thing ever SJDKFSDHJG I love this so much <3 <3 <3 Hope you enjoy~

Art of The Hunt

Fandom: Pokemon Sword + Shield Rating: SFW Style: Oneshot Details: Raihan having a crush on a uber shy Fem!Reader who works at the local Pokemart.

His large hands held onto the small basket filled with pokemon care materials, it was so small compared to him it was almost laughable. Without thinking twice his hands reached instinctively for the top shelf for a box of the new Duraludon Polish for his ace, half-lidded teal eyes looking around the Pokemart lazily - he had been there so many times he didn’t even need to look for what he was grabbing, for he had something else on his mind. Or rather, someone. The tall bachelor of Galar, the Dragon Tamer of this vast region found himself gravitating toward a quiet soul that was hiding behind the protection of the Pokemart till, her eyes shifting from the keypad and the checkout display. Arceus she looks adorable today... Raihan mused to himself as he stood there on the other side of the Pokemart. The only time he ever thanked Arceus for his tall height was when he realized he could subtly look over the shelves of the Pokemart on his toes to see the young lady crunching numbers and flustering over greeting and waving goodbye to the customers as per her contract with her boss.

She was like a little Deerling, so beautiful, adorable and will shy away from even the slightest and insignificant thing like eye contact or a stray compliment. A small smile played on the Gym Leader’s lips as he moved closer to the counter, lining up behind the small number of people lining up there. It was late in the evening, hardly anyone was in the Wyndon Pokemart and yet even when he desperately needed something from there he would wait until the wee hours of the night to catch a glimpse of the shy young lady. He could catch his heartbeat quicken when he opened his cabinet and realized he had run out of berry ingredients for his curry and would wait for hours until the hour hand on the clock hit 8 so he could get on his Flygon and get what he needed and then some. Right before it was his turn, he glanced down at a pack of bubblegum - he didn’t normally chew gum but every time he managed to snag an encounter with the elusive beauty she always smelled as if she was chewing this brand of bubblegum all the time.

“H-Hello sir! Ho -” the young lady chimed softly before she froze and a blush crossed over from cheek to cheek, head tilting up to see the dragon type gym leader. Raihan smiled lazily as he gave her a playful yet lax salute. Her eyes widened as she continued, Raihan chuckling to himself as she did, “... H-how are you today...? Had a p-p-pleasant shopping... experience...?” She meekly asked, feeling her cheeks redden as she reached out for the first of many things Raihan “needed” to buy.

“Hey there.” Raihan hummed in his deep baritone voice, a small laugh hiding behind his words as he looked at her red cheeks - they might as well be little Cherubi, “And yes, a very nice experience. I love shopping here at night, there's hardly anyone around.” His eyes glanced over at the lady’s fingers, he wanted to hold onto them and see if they were really as soft as they looked. She nodded her head shakily and Raihan could practically hear her shaky breathing.

“T-That’s good to hear s-sir.” She stammered - she only reason why she took this position was that she didn’t want to perform manual labour to stock the shelves and she didn’t want to wander about the mart and offer her services. Serving at the till would mean the least amount of contact and talking and social interaction besides the occasional small talk she had to make to upkeep a good impression for the Pokemart.

“You can call me Raihan if you want.” He smiled softly, leaning down, “Everyone does, it’s no biggie. I shop here all the time, you can call me by a first name basis.” He smiled at her as she nervously looked up and he caught a glimpse of how beautiful her eyes were. They would be even more beautiful under the moonlight, on a walk with him after a nice dinner date.

“O-Oh, okay then... Raihan...” She murmured, her cheeks still red as she started to quickly check out his products. He shoved his hands in his pockets lazily as he watched her check them out, one by one, how she nervously pursed her lips as she checked the price stage with the check-out display, how she nervously tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Everything about her drew him in and yet he was so far away from actually getting to know her. However, he was determined to try and make a start on it that evening. “T-That’ll be $126.50!” She chirped as she put them all in a large plastic bag.

Rahan nodded his head, taking out his credit card and shuffling through his pants pockets for a pen - he always had one on him just in case a fan wanted a signature on their shirt or Pokeball. As the flustered lady swiped the card on the machine and shakily gave it back to him, she turned her body around to wait for the receipt, trying to stay calm. Swiftly, Raihan shuffled his hand through the bag for the packed of bubblegum and started scribbling on it.

“He-Here you go si- I mean, Raihan!” The lady managed out as she tore the receipt form the little printer and turned around to find him... gone. A small exhale left her lips as she leaned against the wall behind her, fanning herself. “O-oh jeez...” She muttered, patting her cheeks to cool them off. Her eyes scanned her work station, moving to clean it like she did after every other customer to maintain the cleaning policy they had when she caught sight of something - a stick of bubblegum from her favourite brand. She looked around, seeing if Raihan was anywhere around but to no avail. Shoot, did I forget to put this in?? Oh, my boss is gonna kill me! She fretted as she picked it up... and saw something on it. It was small and in dark blue writing. She brought it close to her face to read it and her eyes widened in surprise and her blush darkened further (if that was even possible).

“Here’s my number if you’re interested, no pressure :) Enjoy the gum <3 - Raihan″

As the young lady started to freak out behind the till, the tall man chuckled watching her from afar, sitting on top of his Flygon. His pokemon looked up at him expectantly before he placed his large hand over its head, “Alright, alright, let’s go home.” He murmured before his pokemon took off into the night silently, sporting him away from Wyndon to Hammerlocke. He was a patient man, he had to be to handle dragon types, and it was certainly needed in the art of the hunt. If he didn’t get her that time, he’ll try again. Eventually, he’ll be able to coax that little Deerling out from the shrubs. Eventually.

#pokemon #pokemonswsh #raihan #reader insert #fluff #imagines #raihan swsh #raihan sword and shield #raihan pokemon #pokemon raihan x reader #pokemon imagines #pokemon raihan

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ladynestaarcheron · 4 years

Text

Hello hello hello! This is not chapter nine of Like Pristine Glass, I know, but that should be coming later this week! In the meantime, here's my submission for day three of the @acotarauweek, which you can check out and read lots of other new AU fics!

you can read this on ao3 as well!

Nesta's sisters are throwing a mandatory Hanukkah party, and she is dutifully (if begrudgingly) on her way when her car breaks down. Her sisters know Nesta can't be an in enclosed space with strangers, so an Uber or the subway is out of the question, so Feyre sends her friend Cassian to pick her up.

Nesta may be a grinch, but at least she's not an imp.

---

It is just her luck, Nesta thinks bitterly to herself, that the year Hanukkah falls neatly into the two-week Christmas break her firm has is also the year her sisters decide to gang up on her and host an extended family candlelighting night and the year her shitty 1973 Toyota finally decides to die.

On the side of some street in Brooklyn she’s never been to before. Of course.

It will be the very coldest day in New York City before Nesta Archeron takes the subway. She won’t. So instead she texts Feyre and Elain her situation and starts to look up the number for AAA before Feyre calls.

“Relax, I’ll get an Uber just as soon as AAA gets here,” she says in lieu of a greeting.

“No, no, you don’t have to!” Feyre says, voice loud over the chatter of their family at her and Elain’s shared apartment in Brooklyn. “I have a friend driving and he can pick you up!”

“I thought this was a family thing?”

“It’s a family and friends thing. It’s a togetherness holiday.”

“It is not.”

Nesta can hear Feyre smile. She groans inwardly, bracing herself for her least favorite joke of the season.

“Don’t be such a grinch, Nesta.”

“Don’t be such a grinch, Nesta!” Elain shouts in the background. She can hear laughter ringing, too.

“Who is this friend? When’s he going to be here?”

“I’ll text you his number. Send him your location. His name’s Cassian. He’s Rhys’ friend.”

Rhys, Feyre’s boyfriend of a few months whom Nesta has not yet met. “He has a car?” She sounds doubtful. She knows why she keeps a car in the city, but she still thinks it’s odd when she hears of other people who do. Especially men.

“Yes, and it’s a good one,” she teases. “Anyway. See you soon!” And she hangs up, before Nesta has a chance to shoot back at her for berating her car.

So instead Nesta texts the number Feyre has sent her her location, with a Hey, it’s Nesta, Feyre’s sister and calls AAA, who inform her that they will be there in about half an hour.

Nesta doesn’t want to wander around the street--she’s never been here before and it’s bitterly cold outside--so she sits in her broken-down car, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, and waits for Feyre’s friend to text her back.

He doesn’t. Instead, he calls.

“Nesta?” he says, as soon as she answers. “It’s Cassian. Feyre’s friend. I’m right behind you.”

Nesta looks up and sees a car that has pulled up behind her in her rearview. “Hi,” she says.

“Hi,” he says. “Stay in your car. I’ll come out.” And he hangs up.

She is slightly miffed at being repeatedly hung up on, but she unlocks the car anyway to let Cassian in.

“Woah,” he says as he slides in her passenger side. “This is old. I didn’t believe Feyre. Hi,” he says, turning to face her with a crooked grin. He stretches out his arm. “I’m Cassian.”

“Nesta,” she says, decidedly less excited than he is. She takes his hand gingerly and she’s very grateful he doesn’t squeeze too hard and lets her go after a few seconds.

“So, how long have you had this piece of crap?” he asks cheerfully.

“It is not a piece of crap,” she snaps. It is, but she hates when anyone else says so.

“Right, except for breaking down,” he says, grinning wider.

Nesta’s mood sours even more. “It’s just the cold,” she says. And it’s not, but she doesn’t care. She loves this car.

He laughs. “Sure. So how long have you had it?”

“Three years,” she says.

“What year is it?”

“Seventy-three.”

He whistles low. “Well...I guess it lived a good life.”

“It’s not dead,” she says. “They’re going to fix it.”

He shrugs, the smile never leaving his face. “All right, then.”

Nesta looks at her window, drumming her fingers on the wheel again. AAA should be here soon, only seven minutes or so.

“So, how will you be getting back home? You live in Manhattan, right? Feyre said you never take the subway....”

“I don’t. Uber. Until this is fixed.”

His lips quirk upwards. “Well, I can drive you home.”

Nesta bites her lip. She has at least another twenty minutes with this man in a car, and then a few hours when she has to be under the same roof as him, and she’s already snapped at him once. “No thank you,”she says through gritted teeth.

Now his smile fades. “I just meant...I never like Ubers, and you wouldn’t have to pay me, so...” he trails off.

“Oh, they’re here,” she says, gesturing to the tow truck that has appeared in the rearview mirror. She leaps out of the car and rushes over to them and she can hear Cassian behind her following.

“Good evening,” she says to the man getting out of the car.

“Hi,” he says. “Which car is it?”

Nesta shows him her car and launches into an explanation of what happened. The man tells her where her car will be taken to and that they’ll contact her if she’ll be able to pick it up.

“What do you mean, if?”

He looks the car over doubtfully. “It’s...kind of standing on its last legs.”

“You haven’t even looked at it yet!”

“I mean, I’m seeing it in front of me....”

Nesta bites back what she wants to say. “You have my information?”

“Yeah, the company already has it.”

“Excellent. Good evening.” She turns on her heel and stomps to Cassian’s passenger side.

“Listen,” he says, sliding in next to her. “About earlier. I really didn’t mean...any harm. Just, like. If you want a ride. You’re my friend’s sister,” he adds.

“Yes, I know,” she says, snapping at him again. Then she stops herself and looks out the window. Now she feels too awkward; she shouldn’t have snapped at him but she doesn’t want to apologize, so she just presses herself into the back of her seat.

She hates this. Being locked away with people she doesn’t know well. She can barely stand being alone with people she loves, so this is a nightmare.

He notices. “Hey,” he says, looking over at her, real concern in his voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she says, pushing harder against the chair.

“You want me to pull over?”

“No. Thank you.”

He’s quiet for a moment. Then he says, “Are you sick?”

Of you, she thinks immediately, but bites her tongue. “No.” She’s firm enough that he’s quiet again.

“If you’re sure,” he finally says.

They’re quiet for about another minute. Then he says, “So, how come you don’t live with Feyre and Elain?”

Nesta opens her mouth to say None of your business, but for Feyre’s sake, she grits her teeth and says tightly, “I need my space.”

“Oh,” he says. He laughs, for the second time, and Nesta notes how his deep voice sounds a bit higher pitched when he does. “So am I infringing on your alone time in your car?” He laughs again, and Nesta thinks he’s mocking her, but then he winks.

“So, you’re a lawyer, right?”

So much for respecting her alone time. “Yes.”

“Criminal law, Feyre said?”

“Yes.”

“She said you’ve put a lot of bad people away.”

Well. She has.

“Don’t like to discuss work on the holidays?”

“It’s not the holidays,” Nesta says. “The only major holiday in December is Christmas.”

“It’s also Hanukkah,” he says.

Nesta rolls her eyes. “I know that,” she says. “But Hanukkah’s not a major holiday. It’s not even a holiday. It’s a festival.”

“Oh,” he says, looking over at her, surprised. “I didn’t realize there was a difference.”

“Well, there is.”

“What is it?”

“It’s,” Nesta says, and she struggles to find the right words in English. Not that she’s fluent in modern Hebrew, but discussing Jewish culture is normally something she’d do while throwing at least a bit of Yiddish around. “It’s mostly the prohibitions on work.”

“Oh. So you can discuss work on Hanukkah.”

Nesta rolls her eyes again and he laughs. “I’m kidding. So if Hanukkah’s not a big deal, why are your sisters throwing a party?”

“It’s not that it’s not a big deal. It’s just...not on par with Christmas in Christianity. We have holidays that justify month long vacations. This isn’t one of them. And anyway...it’s...fun.” She grimaces as she finishes.

He laughs at her again. “You seem very into fun.”

“It’s assimilation,” she grumbles. “There are Jewish ways to have fun.”

“I’m sure there are,” he says.

She turns to look at him. “What are you, anyway?” she asks. “Protestant?”

He glances sideways at her. “Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know. Aren’t most Americans Protestant?”

“About half, yeah.”

“Well. There you go. You’re not Jewish. Obviously.”

He laughs again and she’s not sure why. “You know, some might say that’s a bit rude.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” she says, snapping for what feels like the tenth time. “We’re going to my sisters’ Hanukkah party. I’m at perfect liberty to ask you your religion.”

He gives her another crooked grin. It’s lopsided and lazy and easy and she doesn’t like it. “Good point,” he says. “And I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

“What religion I am,” he says. “I don’t really have one. I didn’t grow up with my parents. Rhys’ mom took me in. And she was just...festive. We had non-holiday holiday parties every few months.”

“Wait. You’re Feyre’s boyfriend’s brother?”

He shrugs. “Yeah. We’re here.”

He turns off the car and gets out, shutting the door behind him. She scrambles with her seatbelt and opens the heavy door, and he’s already on her side to offer her a hand down.

She blinks when she sees him. “How is he?”

“Who?”

“Feyre’s boyfriend.” She knows he can hear how impatient she is, but she wonders if he can detect her concern, her worry.

She thinks he can because his eyes soften a bit. “He’s a good person.”

She puts her hand in his. His skin is warm even through their gloves.

“Non-holiday holiday party?” she asks as they walk up to the door of the apartment building.

He laughs--he laughs so much, it’s ridiculous. “Yeah. Solstice times, equinox times.”

Equinox times? Who celebrates the equinox? What are they, Pagan?

He opens the door for her when they reach it.

“So,” he says. “I’ve never been to a Hanukkah party before. What can I expect?”

“What do you know about Hanukkah?”

“Oh, lots,” he says, following her into the elevator. “For starters, it’s widely misrepresented as a major Jewish holiday, when it’s actually a minor festival.” He shoots her a grin.

She rolls her eyes, but it’s more to hide her own slight smile than out of real disdain.

“And I know about the candles. And Feyre mentioned the foods.”

“There’s a story behind it,” she says. “But yes, here we’ll be lighting candles and eating fried foods. There are games. It’s...”

“Assimilated fun,” he says, winking.

She doesn’t do a very good job at hiding her short laugh. “Right.”

The elevator dings with Elain and Feyre’s floor, and Nesta doesn’t bother knocking at their entrance and just lets them both in.

The party’s already started. A gaggle of Elain’s friend Nesta vaguely recognizes, some of Feyre’s art schoolmates, some cousins (Nesta knows her father is here somewhere, as well), and four people she assumes are Feyre’s new...friends.

“Nesta!”

Nesta turns to the sound of her name automatically and is knocked backwards a few feet with the force of Elain’s hug.

“Hi, Elain,” she says, slightly muffled, trying to unhook herself.

“I’m so glad you made it! Are you okay! Is your car okay? Was the ride okay?” Elain’s eyes move over indiscreetly to Cassian, who is talking towards a blond woman Nesta does not know.

Nesta can feel a slight flush redden her cheeks. “It was fine.” Her sister’s sweet to care, but it was fine.

“I can take an Uber back with you.”

Cassian, more discreetly than Elain but not slick enough that Nesta doesn’t notice, cocks his head towards them.

“I...don’t know if I’ll take you up on that,” she says. She hates that she can’t be alone with strangers and she hates to ask it of her sister, but she might not need to. The ride with Cassian was...fine. And she trusts Feyre.

“Hey!” cries the sister in question, coming into the room. She stretches the syllable out. “Hey, Nesta, you made it! Hey, Cass.” She stops to give him a quick hug and then walks over to Nesta and squeezes her tightly. “Was the ride okay?” she says, lowering her voice.

She hates this. Hates it. “It was fine. Have you started cooking yet?”

“Oh. Yes! We have food and...Hanukkah drinks! Martinis!”

Nesta stops. “That’s the brilliant Hanukkah cocktail you came up with? Martinis?”

“They have olives in them,” Feyre says, defensive. “And we were supposed to have this gelt cocktail, but someone forgot to buy Goldschläger.”

“I thought you said you picked it up!”

“I have texts, Elain...”

Nesta relaxes a bit while listening to her sisters bicker. She’s missed them. She likes being around them. In small doses, maybe, but she does wish they had more frequent meetings.

“We should light soon,” she says to them, after listening to them chatter on about the lives for ten minutes or so.

“Daddy’s not here yet,” Elain says.

“And you haven’t met Rhys! Come, come.” Feyre grabs her right hand--her left is holding her oh-so-festive martini--and drags her back into the front room, where Cassian is sitting with the people she didn’t know from earlier.

“Everyone,” she announces, “this is my big sister Nesta. Nesta, this is Az and Mor and Amren and Rhys.” She looks back at Nesta, beaming.

Her heart cracks a little--she looks so proud, so happy, shining like the unlit chanukiyot are already blazing inside her--so she smiles and nods even though it feels so unnatural for her. “It’s nice to meet you,” she says.

Her eyes linger on Rhys.

She immediately doesn’t like him. He’s too tall. He has too many tattoos. He wears nice clothes but she doesn't trust how expensive they look.

She doesn’t know what Feyre has said about her, but she can tell Rhys doesn’t like her either, from the way he looks at her.

Whatever. She doesn’t need him to like her. She’s the sister, the constant. He’s the one who needs to prove himself to her. That’s just how it goes.

You’re off to a rough start, she thinks bitterly at him, and brings her martini to her lips.

“Did you all know,” Cassian says, throwing an arm back around the chair next to him. “That Hanukkah’s not actually a holiday?”

The one Feyre called Az turns to face him, but the small woman, Amren, scoffs and says, “That’s not exactly classified information, dimwit. It’s been a festival for two thousand years.”

Nesta likes her right away. She sits down at the table.

“Criminal law, right?” Amren says to her.

Nesta nods.

“Don’t ask her about work,” Cassian interjects. “She’s on vacation.”

“Private firm or for the DA or what?” Amren says, ignoring him.

But she doesn’t mind her questions so much, and she answers them. Amren tells her she works for Rhys--they all do, which she doesn’t like. It feels too much like a cult to her and she doesn’t want Feyre mixed up in that.

She hisses so to Elain, under her breath, and she laughs at her. “You’re being ridiculous,” she whispers. “They’re nice!”

“You think everyone’s nice.”

“It’s not a cult, it’s just having friends. You know? Friends?”

“Oh, hush. It’s time to light.”

“Daddy’s not here yet. We’re waiting for him.”

“Where is he?” Nesta leans back and crosses her arms. “Have you heard from him, Feyre?”

“Oh,” Feyre says, turning around and looking at the clock across from her. “Ten minutes, I think.”

“Why do you need to light the candles now?” Cassian asks her.

“We’re supposed to do it before eleven,” she replies.

“Hmm,” he says. Then he hesitates. He says to her, lowering his voice so only she can hear, “You...want me to drive you home after?”

Nesta bites her lower lip. She brings her glass to her mouth and takes a sip.

“Yes,” she says.

“Okay,” he says. He hesitates again. Then he reaches into his jacket and takes out something--a business card. “I...know you can’t take the subway or rides with people you don’t know,” he says, and Nesta can feel her throat grow tighter but he doesn’t take his eyes off her face. “I’m head of Rhys’ security. I can make sure you can get around safely. I can do it myself. If you ever need.”

Nesta takes the card from him and it’s so weird, because sometimes he’s teasing and sometimes he’s sincere and she doesn’t like when people are a mix of things. It makes everything harder.

But she appreciates it. A lot. So she nods slightly and slips the card into her own pocket.

“And you know,” he continues. “I can probably...help out. In that area.”

Nesta blinks. “What area?”

“You know. The...unsafe...area. With...whatever it is...whoever it was....” he trails off, but still, his eyes do not stray from hers.

Nesta blinks again. Is he...offering...to kill Tomas?

No. Because that would be insane.

So she just says, “Right.”

He nods and she doesn’t like the way he’s looking at her, like he’s studying her. But then he smiles and says, “So, are you going to come to our non-holiday holiday party next week?”

Nesta scoffs. “No.”

“Why not?”

Nesta rolls her eyes. “Because it’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of.”

“I came to your Hanukkah party.”

“It’s not mine, and I didn’t invite you.”

“Well, I’m inviting you.”

Nesta grimaces. “One holiday party is enough for the season.”

“All right,” he says. “What about dinner?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Dinner?”

“Dinner,” he says, grinning. “You must like me enough for another car ride. You’re talking to me and none of your cousins. You like food. Dinner with me is a fantastic combination.”

Perhaps it’s the second martini. Or her sisters’ assimilated holiday cheer rubbing off on her. But she shrugs and says, “Maybe,” which, for her, is a ringing endorsement.

Cassian knows it, too, because he leans back and grins wider.

“All right, who’s up for some more latkes?” Elain says, coming in holding a platter.

“Now, really, Elain, you two said ten more minutes. Where is he?”

“Okay, you know what? I didn’t want to ruin the surprise, but since someone’s being such a grinch...he’s actually picking up the Goldschläger.”

“You’re such a grinch, Nesta!” Feyre says, cheering.

“You’re such a grinch, Nesta,” Cassian says, laughing along.

Nesta rubs the back of her neck. The one good thing about a non-holiday holiday party, she supposes, is that there can be no grinch.

Perhaps it’s not so ridiculous after all.

#lizo writes #acotar au week day 3 #day 3 christmas/holiday au #acotar au week #nessian #hope you guys like this!!#this was fun to write!!

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spoonless-sunflower · 4 years

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Day 0 on the west coast.

I managed to survive the flight despite my fibro making me a super claustrophobic, achey, and grumpy traveler.

Maneuvering around with my big luggage was difficult! I was so lucky that everyone at the airport was nice enough to help me get them onto the shuttles or ubers. I had a very sweet uber driver too and I felt safe and fortunate.

I got to my friend's place and her bf let me in. He's a sweet guy. He was around in college but I didn't know him too well. He seemed very straight laced back in the day but then he just started getting high not long after letting me in. And then when my friend got home she did the same. It's not smoke (they're edibles) so it's not annoying or anything it just makes me feel a little distanced from them right away, y'know? I have zero problem with weed (and it's legal here so) but it's just not something I've been around a lot and much like alcohol I feel kind of "other-ed" in its presence. (Even tho I'm around alcohol a lot I still feel weird bc im not taking part)

We went out to dinner at a beautiful mall and I got to pick up some stuff I needed too. Also got a lot of advice on apartment hunting and will get to tour a studio this week!! Aaa!!

I'm a little worried that I'm going to burn thru my money on food and ubers bc of going out and making connections and seeing old friends. Please pray for me and my budget haha.

#sunbun talks #q

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atekasey · 4 years

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My Top 5 Games of 2019

As I like to do every year, here’s some collected ramblings about my opinions of some games I played and really liked this year. While there were a lot more than 5 games that I enjoyed this year, I only had strong opinions about these 5. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on my top 5 games of the year of our lord 2019.

DISCO ELYSIUM

Full disclosure: I have not finished Disco Elysium; I am about three quarters of the way through the 3rd day. Regardless, I loved so much of what little I played that I consider it one of the best games of the year, based solely on the world-building and characterizations I’ve encountered so far.

Disco Elysium is an adventure game/RPG where the only stats you build up are personality stats and thought processes, which affects how you talk to people and interact with the environment. The main plot is about you playing as an amnesiac cop tasked with solving a murder at the centre of a labour dispute, but to be honest I couldn't really care less about the main plot. Not to say the plot is bad per se, it just didn't grab me like how the setting and individual characterizations did. The main plot was nothing more than a vehicle for me to explore and find out more about Revachol, its residents, and how all of them came to be who they are. The amazing writing that underpins every interaction is what makes the individual interactions so compelling.

When I woke up every morning (in the game world, mind you), the only thing I wanted to do is talk to people, conveniently ignoring the dialogue choices that furthered the plot until the end of the conversation. The pétanque-playing veterans who have some scathing opinions about communist theory, the paledriver who's mind is corrupted by nostalgia, the mysterious balcony smoker who I later learned was part of the homosexual underground, the Semanese race theorist who I wanted nothing more than to punch in the face if not for my low physical instrument stat, these are just some examples of the extremely varied characters you meet while you investigate some dead dude or whatever, I guess. Speaking of the paledriver, learning about the true nature of the pale from the White Pines rep was a pivotal moment for me personally, as it made the world feel both unique and existentially terrifying. All these little details and more create the rich tapestry that is Disco Elysium. Also, some dude was murdered??? Who cares about that, I need to make my sorry-cop sing depressing karaoke!

I should really get back and finish it.

CONTROL

I remember the first time I read SCP-087 back in the day, and it introduced me up to the horrifying (and sometimes comedic) world of SCP. For those who don't know SCP (which can stand for "special containment procedures" or "secure, contain, protect", depending where you look), is a collaborative fiction wiki about fake government reports on the supernatural and paranormal. It's the bureaucratic nature of SCPs that really drew me into reading them, making it feel like I was reading real government reports.

So imagine my delighted surprise when I first played Control, I picked up the first of many report-type collectible and saw that it was written almost exactly like an SCP entry. Control is a game that asks "what if the SCP Foundation was a real branch of the US government?" and goes off the deep-end with that premise in the best possible way. The bureaucratic mundanity of the Federal Bureau of Control really shines in these reports, as you read report after report of some other-worldly phenomenon while also reading reports about the monthly book club. Beyond that, actually playing control was fun and engaging... up until the end. Jesse is a great protagonist, and the characters you meet along the way have great personality and give life to the bureau. The Oldest House is a fascinating setting to explore, with it’s brutalist look and nooks and crannies that change and spiral off in otherworldly ways. Unfortunately, for all the build-up the story was leading to, it ends on a pretty lame whimper. But the lackluster ending did not sway my overall love for Control. No one makes games like Remedy at the AAA level, and I'm happy they are making games like Control. I cannot wait for the DLC for this game to get back into it.

Also, the PC version of control does a phenomenal job at showing off how ray-tracing really is the future of lighting and graphics. The real-time reflections alone, where the scene I was watching was reflected almost perfectly on a pane of glass like an actual reflection (in real-time, no less!) was a marvel to look at. And, not since Quake 2 did coloured lighting look so pretty. Suffice to say, Control justified my RTX 2080 purchase single-handedly.

AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES

I have what one can say a love/hate relationship with the Zero Escape series. The first entry, 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors, is one of my favourite games of all time (currently ranked 3rd, if you care at all, which you probably don't, sorry to bother you), and while the cliffhanger ending of the sequel, Virtue's Last Reward, made me excited to see where the series would go, Zero Time Dilemma ultimately did not offer a satisfying conclusion. Not only did ZTD barely resolve any of the threads started in VLR, but it was a very disappointing conclusion to the entire Zero Escape series as a whole (Junpei and Akane's story just getting a tossed-off mention after you beat the game about how "they lived happily ever after" and nothing else? THEY DESERVED BETTER!). So when it was announced that the creator of the Zero Escape series, Kotaro Uchikoshi, was making a new game called AI: The Somnium Files, I was cautiously optimistic. I hoped ZTD was just a one-off and not indicative of a downward trend starting to happen, and Uchikoshi still had it in him to tell a compelling story.

Very fortunately (for me at least), AI: The Somnium Files delivered in the best possible way, meeting and thoroughly exceeding my expectations.

It took some time before the game adhered itself to me as a truly great game, unlike Zero Escape. In the Zero Escape games, given the Saw-like murder games the characters were forced to participate in, there was an sense of urgency to the story that helped propel it right from minute one. AI, on the other hand, is more procedural, which makes sense given that you're playing as Kaname Date, a cop who has a fake eye that is also an AI named AIBA (trust me, it makes sense in context), trying to solve the murder of his adopted daughter's birth mom. Not to strip the act of murder from the seriousness it deserves, but AI ends up being more lighthearted than the Zero Escape games, which only made me enjoy the game more. AI takes its time to explore it's story and characters, letting scenes breath and focus on characters instead of the mystery at hand, allowing said characters to have more development and growth. I bring this up only so I can talk about Mizuki Okiura, Date's adoptive daughter, who quickly becomes the standout character from the game. A back-talking, street-wise 12-year-old punk who forces her way into becoming Date's "partner" as he unravels an ever-growing conspiracy of politics, missing eyeballs, and twitch streamers (again, please trust me, it makes sense in context).

She also has a lead pipe she likes to beat people with.

Mizuki is the best.

She is THE BEST!

Make an entire game about her YOU COWARDS!!

...Anyways, structurally, AI plays similarly to Zero Escape, but with more adventure game elements to it. You still follow a flow-chart that branches depending on story choices you make, and you need to see all branches to complete the story. Not to keep comparing AI to the Zero Escape games (that's why I'm playing this game, so that's the lens I'm analyzing this game through; this is my essay, I can do what I want, you’re not my real dad), but unlike the Zero Escape games, AI ends on a legitimate, no-fooling, unambiguous happy ending that couldn't have put a bigger smile on my face. Sure, it was corny, but the entire game was corny, and ultimately I didn't care! I was just happy that I wasn't uber-depressed after playing one of Uchikoshi's games! It even ends on a dance number consisting of the entire cast of characters!

AI is a good time all-around!

(Except for the murders. Those are bad...probably...)

RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2

Yes, this game came out last year, but honestly I don't care. I played it this year and that's all that matters. However, as I am coming to this game later than most, most of what can be said about Red Dead 2 has already been said by way smarter people than I am, so I won't retread any of that well-trodden ground. So, I'll keep this short: Arthur Morgan's journey is one of the best told story in AAA gaming to date, and never have I felt more like a rustic cowboy wandering the the old west. People harped on the sluggish nature of the controls, but I honestly liked it, as it added to that feeling of being a wandering cowboy. I took my time meandering through the the forests of Roanoke Ridge, the deserts of New Austin, and the red earth of Scarlet Meadows. There was nothing more that I enjoyed in this game than gearing up, getting on my horse and just riding aimlessly until I encountered something that catches my attention, whether that be a 3-star animal, a legendary fish, or even a dilapidated church on a civil war battlefield. I put in well over 100 hours on PS4 earlier this year, and I've put in another 100+ hours on PC, and I don't see myself putting it down anytime soon.

Fucking superb, you funky little cowboy game.

OUTER WILDS

Outer Wilds is not only the best game of 2019, but probably one of my top 5 favourite games of all time. It's hard to describe what makes Outer Wilds a truly one-of-a-kind experience for me without spoiling the ending. It's a game driven purely by exploration and discovery. Knowledge of the world and how it works is the sole "progression" system in the entire game; so much so that you can beat it in your very first first session if you happened to have the discoveries spoiled for you. Go into as blind as possible, that’s what I did and it made the experience all the more special. Play this game, you will not be disappointed.

At this point, I will be spoiling the major parts of the story of Outer Wilds, primarily the ending, because it is the thing that I have not been able to stop thinking about since I first experienced it. Be warned that there be major spoilers beyond this point. Given that Outer Wilds is all about discovery, I highly recommend you do not read anything beyond this point if you haven't beaten it. Again, play this game, you will not be disappointed.

One of my earliest existential fears was when I learned about the lifespan of stars in the second grade. I remember it vividly: sitting in class, hearing my teacher describe the stages of a star's life, going from normal-sized star to red giant, then eventually to a supernova, then explaining that will happen to our Sun as well. The dawning realization that the Sun will grow to a size that will envelop the Earth terrified me beyond anything that has ever terrified me up until that point in my albeit short life. I couldn't sleep for days without fearing that the sun will expand, consume the Earth and burn everyone I ever loved alive. It didn't matter that my teacher said it would take millions upon millions of years before the Sun ever reached this stage, this was my single-biggest fear.

Fast-forward 23 years later to beginning of June of 2019, I pick up Outer Wilds based on the buzz the game was getting. I knew the game was based around a time-loop à la Majora’s Mask, but had no idea about one of it’s biggest “mechanics,” so to speak. My first few runs in that game resulted in premature deaths, so it took me a little bit to realize that the Sun explodes after 22 minutes and envelops everything in a fiery blaze. Seeing my childhood fear unfolding right in from of me just drove me to unravel the mysteries of the universe I inhabited, if nothing more so that I could find a way to stop it. As I learned more about the ostensible precursor race, the Nomai, whom were fixated on finding something called the Eye of the Universe but perished before they could find it, I got it in my head that, if I can just do what the Nomai failed to do, I could stop all of this from happening. Every time the time loop started, I would run out into space and unraveling the mystery further and further, each time being obliterated by the sun at the end of 22 minutes (or dying in a really stupid physics-y way), getting closer and closer to finding out what’s really going on.

Eventually, I discovered enough information to accomplish the task of reaching the Eye of the Universe: I found the coordinates of the Eye, a ship with the necessary warp-drive to get there, and a power source to make it all happen. With the keys in-hand to finally unlocking the answer to this mystery, I set off on what would be my final run: I performed the necessary tasks, said one last goodbye to the Solar System, and barreled into what I would eventually learn is the quantum singularity of time and space, a.k.a the Eye of the Universe. I stepped out into a vast, cold emptiness of quantum existence that was the Eye and wondered around, looking for something, anything. After falling through what seemed to be a quantum vortex, I eventually found a museum not unlike the one you find at the beginning of the game; a museum that is part of the tutorial for the game. This museum contains a picture at the entrance showcasing the founders of the Outer Wilds Ventures space program, the in-universe space program your nameless, faceless alien character is a part of. However, in this quantum facsimile of this tutorial museum, which is cloaked in darkness save for the sole light emanating from your spacesuit, you're positioned to see the same picture you saw at the beginning of the game, only this time a new caption appears when inspecting it:

"Outer Wilds Ventures was founded by Feldspar, Gossan, Slate, and Hornfels to explore a solar system at the end of the universe."

I'm not trying to be hyperbolic when I say that: reading that caption started to make me go through the 5 stages of grief. I was immediately in denial of what I just read. “How could the universe be ending? The Hearthians just started their space program! How unfair it is for them for the universe they were just about to explore to end like that! Also, this is a video game! You’re supposed to give me the feel-good ending of being the hero and stopping the universe-ending event from ever happening!” As I explored the quantum museum more, the fact that the universe actually ending became more and more apparent and harder to ignore. Then, I recalled pieces of information I encountered during my travels that hinted (or plainly stated and I was too deluded to acknowledge them) that the universe was ending, and transitioned to the 2nd stage of grief: anger. Anger at myself for missing something so obvious and deluding myself into thinking that I could enact change on such a cosmic scale. I quickly entered the 3rd stage, bargaining, as I tried to snap myself out of it. “The game was pulling a fast one on me,” I told myself, “I hadn't reached the "end" of the ending yet, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Let’s not count all our chickens before they hatch!” I interacted with with the final prompt in the quantum museum, which transported me to a forest filled with galaxies. One by one, I watched these galaxies explode and fade from existence, until all that was left was darkness. It was at this point, I truly realized there was no stopping this, and I transitioned into the 4th stage: depression.

Through my depression, I stumbled across the dark, quantum glade to where I eventually found a quantum facsimile of myself, which no joke spooked me. Then all of a sudden, a campfire appears. The game asks me to settle, roasts some marshmallows, which I do, I guess. “What else can I do? It’s all pointless, the universe is over!” As I roast marshmallow after marshmallow, I'm eventually joined by a facsimile of the first Outer Wilds Ventures companion I met after launching into the stars for the first time: Esker. Esker (”Feskermile? does that work?”) wants me to gather all the other facsimiles of the Outer Wilds Ventures folk I’ve met during my travels and have one last campfire jamboree. Still feeling defeated and hopeless, I begrudgingly set out into the darkness of the quantum forest to find Feldspar, Gabbro, Chert, and Riebeck, along with Solanum, the kinda-but-not-really-last-living Nomai I met on the Quantum Moon. Once everyone was gathered around the campfire, they started played the tune I've heard all throughout my travels in the solar system. A melody that immediately starts flooding my brain with memories of my adventures: seeing the islands of Giant’s Deep being flung into space by a storm of tornadoes; the asteroids of Hollow’s Lantern destroying the surface of Brittle Hollow, revealing a black hole core; traversing the endless fog of Dark Bramble while dodging giant eldritch anglerfish; watching the sand majestically trade places between the hourglass twins. All of these memories and more came rushing to the forefront of my mind as I listened to the characters I’ve come to know and love play the same blissful tune that propelled me on my journey up until this exact point.

As the members of the Outer Wilds Ventures space program and the both-living-and-dead Nomai finished playing their song, a new universe is born from the ashes of the doomed universe we're all currently in, which indicated to me that this is truly the end, not just for the universe, but also for the game in general. So, with a heavy sigh, I went around the campfire one last time and spoke with every character as a way to say goodbye. It was when I talked to Riebeck, the ever-optimistic banjo player, that I finally transitioned into the 5th and last stage of grief: acceptance.

"The past is past, now, but that's... you know, that's okay! It's never really gone completely. The future is always built on the past, even if we won't get to see it."

A wave of catharsis washed over my entire being. Grief is a feeling that I never truly felt while playing a video game before playing Outer Wilds. Sure, I've been sad when I character I liked gets killed and the like, but I never experienced grief so profound like the one I felt during the ending of Outer Wilds. It was grief for a universe still teeming with life about to end; it was grief for a species that just started looking at the stars not being able to fully explore their own domain; it was grief for a species that never saw the fruits of their scientific labour; ultimately, it was grief about the inevitability of death. Abject terror flooded my mind when I finally realized that the universe was truly ending and I was powerless to stop it. But that single line of dialogue from Riebeck allowed me to appreciate what was happening. I was finally happy, not because it was truly over, but because I was able to experience everything I did up until the very end. No ending, no matter the cosmic scale of it, can ever take away the memories I had existing in this universe.

With that, I collected myself, took one last look at everyone around the campfire, and collapsed the singularity, ending the current universe and giving birth to a new one, with the clearest sense of purpose I've ever had: I was finally able to confront and conquer one of my biggest fears.

#atekasey game of the year 2019 #disco elysium #control #ai the somnium files #red dead redemption 2 #outer wilds #spoilers #massive spoilers #seriously don't read this if you don't want to be spoiled

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atozadani · 5 years

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derek uehara / 23

what is your current mood?: Um, I’m okay! How are you?

what is your biggest fear?: God, losing Eila or Avery, probably.

how would you react if confronted with that fear?: I don’t want to think about that. I probably would... fuck. I think I’d just shut down.

do you have any triggers? if so, what are they?: I don’t think so.

have you experienced any trauma?: Not really?

if so, what was the incident?: N/A. Unless you count Avery getting sick? I don’t think that counts. If that counted then like. Most of the world would be traumatized.

if you were confronted with a stranger that needed assistance with their car, what would be your reaction?: I’d probably try and help them, but I don’t know anything about cars. I can’t even drive.

what if this stranger needed assistance in the case of a “life or death” emergency?: That doesn’t help with the car thing.

what if the emergency involved an enemy?: I don’t really have enemies? Also, again, I’m probably in an Uber or something so I’d just? Pay the guy to take them to an AAA?

how do you feel about your parents?: My parents are the most loving, badass people I know.

how do you feel about prometheus?: They kept my brother alive. I owe them everything.

what is the first cancellation you remember?: Um, I think... the first one I remember was after I started working. One of the kids who got written off the show was cancelled, and his mom... Well, you know. I hugged him for like an hour straight and then never saw him again. I should look him up. I hope he’s doing okay. At least his dad seemed nice.

what is your opinion on cancellation?: I appreciate the effort to keep the art form pure, but I don’t get why everything has to be so public. It seems wrong. Plus, the point system could use some updates; The current laws are just... entirely too susceptible to exploitation. Completely ruins the validity of the leaderboard, as far as I’m concerned. Is it truly okay to expose young actresses to the idea that they have to do whatever the man with the most points says just to stay alive? Furthermore, why should a woman have a higher chance of success just because the person with the most power isn’t into men? It’s fallible, you have to admit.

would you advocate for an enemy to be cancelled?: no.

would you try to save a friend from cancellation?: who would answer no to this? of course.

true or false? i had a happy childhood.

true or false? pain is only in the mind.

true or false? all cancellations could have been avoided.

true or false? i will be remembered.

true or false? i am afraid of dying.

true or false? i have never taken narcotics.

true or false? i have never been intoxicated by alcohol.

true or false? professional relationships should stay professional.

on a level of 1-10, where 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest, what is your level of stress?: 7 on a level of 1-10, where 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest, what is your energy level?: 9 on a level of 1-10, where 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest, what is your level of sexual desire?: 8

which scenario is more favorable? 1) your cancellation, but the ones you love must plan it and watch 2) your loved one’s cancellation, but you are allowed not to watch

which scenario is more favorable? 1) paralysis 2) lack of competent thought

which scenario is more favorable? 1) emotional abuse 2) physical abuse

which scenario is more favorable? 1) losing hearing 2) losing sight

which scenario is more favorable? 1) being propositioned by someone you aren’t attracted to 2) being rejected by someone you love

which scenario is more favorable? 1) knowing who your friends are 2) knowing who your enemies are

pick only one name from prometheus productions to complete the following sentences (you may repeat your answer):

i trust Juno Benson the most. i distrust Cyrus Roth the most. Leo Kovic makes me feel uncomfortable. Eila Levitt is someone i would die for. N/A is someone i’ve thought of getting cancelled. i am physically attracted to Tommy Price Jade Bellamy . i am romantically attracted to Leo Kovic Eila Levitt. my biggest competition is Tommy Price.

#cancelled.task

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