#I hate to do that but like for my own sanity bye | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dear-bunnyboo · 8 months

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐖𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄 || 𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖

important note: my face claim will be madison beer but you can imagine whoever you desire. also the songs mentioned are not all technically all madison’s i will be incorporating other songs from other artists.

all the pictures seen below are not mine, however they were edited by yours truly. credits to the owners.

and just like that, all hell breaks loose 🫢 (hope this makes you guys temporarily forget that bae played like ass last sunday 🥲)

side note: I am really proud of this chapter. so proud that it might be my current favorite <3

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Joe Burrow x Singer!Reader / Brief Ex!Jack Hughes x Singer!Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Can Joe save you when everything comes crashing down?

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, cursing, haters, rumors, liar!Jack, toxic ex, crying, angry!reader, media, joe being a sweetheart, light fluff, flashback, protective!Joe

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐍𝐇𝐋 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

This week has been proven to be challenging for you.

Halfway through your tour you have a mandatory rest week as you’d like to call it— not only for yourself but for every single people involved behind the scenes as well, they have been working as hard as you were, if not even more.

You were a workaholic, and a day off is enough for you to get recharged. Which is why you were finding it so hard to get through the week— you were itching to perform. You had to distract yourself with a pen and paper for your own sanity— writing helps release the energy and tension from your body.

It’s only been two days since the rest week started and you were silently going insane. It doesn’t help that Joe just messaged you saying that it was their bye week of the season— you really didn’t know what to do with the information he gave you. You are more closer to Joe now than you were before, from the frequent late night talking, FaceTimes, texting— and you loved it. You just didn’t know what his break had to do with you— until he spells it out for you.

I’m coming over

He texted you this an hour ago. Joe has been over your house before and vice versa— you were continuously teased by Y/BF/N which really wasn’t a surprise to you. Your best friend has declared herself the president of the Joe and Y/N Fanclub and it’s borderline psychotic but you love her anyways.

Again— this week is a challenge.

Joe was coming over and you found yourself wanting to throw up— you had zero clue as to why your stomach was hurting and why your palms were getting clammy. You placed your palm on your forehead, lightly feeling for a fever but with no avail.

You have been refusing the feeling for months now.

You hated it.

It was happening all over again. The same feelings, the same outcomes. It was bullshit.

Those damn butterflies that died that night seemed to resurrect from the dead every time you talked to Joe— every time he laughed and smiled at you the butterflies not only show up but get trampled by a stampede of animals.

Sitting cross legged on your living room sofa as you waited for the quarterback— you looked around your surroundings. Around you was littered with papers with scribbles of your panic writing, your electric guitar discarded right next to you. A ding broke you out of your thoughts and upon looking down on your phone, you see another message form Joe.

I think you’ll really like my surprise, lovebug.

You were gonna throw up— a butterfly is about to come out of your mouth.

Yeah?, well, color me intrigued.

Tossing your phone away from you, you wiped your sweaty hands on you sweatpants and continued writing— you were writing with so much fervor that your handwriting started to look like you were writing a medicine prescription but you understood it.

You understood it.

Lovebug

Joe started calling you lovebug a couple months ago when he came over your house for the first time.

You and Joe were talking animatedly about your favorite SpongeBob episodes on your couch. The two of you just finished watching the first SpongeBob Movie and now you both were just geeking out and giggling about iconic episodes.

“Nothing will top the chocolate episode. Still makes me laugh out loud till this day.” Joe chuckles as he placed his arms on the sofa just behind your head— he wasn’t touching you but you felt the heat of his body by how close you two were sitting. The feeling was somewhat more intimate than actually being touched— it was the longing for it that was getting to you.

“The episode where they performed at the Super Bowl halftime was my favorite! I thought that would be your favorite. Nothing will ever top that.” You bounced on your seat, facing Joe even more now— looking at him like he grew three heads for not picking that episode as his favorite.

The quarterback laughs at you as he watched your eyes grow wide in excitement as you talked about that episode, “Ok, ok! That’s a great one as well, I’m not gonna lie.” He put his hands up in surrender but before you could even reply back to him, you caught sight of something moving from your peripheral vision— turning your head slightly, you spotted a tarantula climbing up your sofa and with no hesitation whatsoever you bolted out of your couch screaming.

Joe looked at you alarmed, immediately standing up and walking towards you slowly in concern, “What’s wrong?” He carefully eyes you with his beautiful baby blues— if it weren’t for the predicament you found yourself in you would have turned red but you didn’t have time for that. You pushed Joe away from you, your eyes still trained on the spider as you directed Joe’s body to face the insect.

“There is a huge spider, Joe!” You whisper-yelled, trying your hardest not to yell as you inched your back towards the wall. Joe, however, turned to look at you with a grin on his face— you gave him a look as he continued to look smug.

“What!?” You scolded him.

“You’re scared of spiders?” He asked in both a concerned and amused tone.

“Gee, Joe— no I’m thrilled. That was me screaming in joy.” You blurted out sarcastically, slightly pushing him towards it again as you hid behind his towering figure, “And that is not a spider, that’s a fucking Pokémon at this point— get it out!”

The blonde, laughed at your attitude— just now meeting this new persona of yours, you’ve always been so sweet to him that this side of you was amusing him. Sassy— he liked it.

“Joseph! Are you just gonna stare at me? Or are you gonna actually help? That thing basically owns the house at this point— please, Joey.” And there it was, the sweet side Joe was just thinking about, Joe shook his head and smiled at you before moving towards the insect.

“You know, it’s also scared, right? We probably look hideous to it as well.” Joe consoles you while you continued to watch him quietly reach his bare hands to catch the spider— which were as big as his hands.

“Congrats, you’re a Disney Princess.” you rolled your eyes at him— there was no convincing you when it comes to spiders.

Joe just let out the biggest laugh at your sassiness, “You’re the funniest person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m here all night.” You stuck your tongue out at him.

He struggled to keep the spider in place as he carefully wrestled it around his palms as the spider stared squirming. You slowly inched closer to the couch now that Joe has reached your front door, “Be careful. Don’t hurt it— I want it out of my house not dead.” You muttered but Joe heard you loud and clear, earning another a warm smile from him.

“Look at you— I thought you were worried about me for a second but it was for the spider. Who’s the Disney Princess now?” Joe winked at you before walking out of the front door to get the spider out.

Joe saunters back in shorty looking smug as if he just wrestled an alligator out of your house. Placing himself next to you back on the couch he looks at you in amusement and before you could give him an attitude— Joe raised his hand up to remove the stray hairs out of your face, your hair slightly disheveled after running for your life.

You remained still as you watched him watch you— Joe was looking at every single part of your face as if he was memorizing every inch of you before muttering something under his breath. It was so low that you missed it.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you asked, “What?” You managed to breath out.

“Lovebug”

His baby blue eyes finally meeting yours. You sat stunned— not knowing where all this was coming from.

“What?” You started to sound like a broken record as you asked him again.

“You’re such a lovebug.” The quarterback shrugged before removing his hand off of your face, now facing your TV as he tries to move on from the situation. Joe must have felt your eyes still on him as you tried to process and understand what he just said— what he was trying to say.

“You’re full of love. You’re such a good person. Just a few months of knowing you and being your friend and I’ve noticed how much love you have to offer— it’s amazing really. You are terrified of spiders but you didn’t want it dead, unlike some people would.” Joe shrugged shoving chips in his mouth as if he didn’t just say the sweetest things to you.

“Joe, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Thank you.”

“It’s true” he nodded at you. “Lovebug is scared of a little bug.” Joe continued to joke earning an exasperated look from you.

“That thing was not little, Joe. It was practically a grown adult.”

You remembered the feeling you felt when he told you those things that night.

You understood how fucked you were.

You understood how this could be another one of your biggest mistakes, you continued writing on the paper— words, phrases, lyrics were spewing out of you as you continued to think about that night— the TV not even distracting you for a second.

You didn’t know why your heart was feeling this way. How it could start beating the way it is as if it wasn’t beaten and bruise— you didn’t understand why this was happening to you.

All of you thought that love off the table.

So why?

The heart is resilient— love is resilient. It can suffer for years, it can be broken and used over and over again, it can be shattered into pieces, it can make you feel numb— but then it surprises you when it flutters again. Flutters from the happiness, the giddiness, excitement, and even love— again, it’s resilient.

You’re brain however, it’s logical. It has stored all the memories; the good, the bad, the traumatic into specific file cabinets— it gathers information from your previous experiences and helps you stop yourself from going through those same experiences again.

Your heart was telling you to go for it while your brain was telling you to let it go. They never seem to listen to each other but they also couldn’t live without each other— the heart and the brain, just another love story.

Your doorbell rang pulling you out of your thoughts. You quickly gathered yourself together before standing up to answer the door— opening your front door, you were met with Joe who has one hand in his pocket while to other one was hiding a paper bag behind his back.

“Hey.” And just like that he single-handedly managed to get the butterflies in your stomach to awaken from their slumber.

Holding to door wide open you gave the man in front of you a smile, “Hey, you.” You greeted Joe before side stepping to let his huge frame in— as he walks in your house you addressed the paper bag clasped in his hand.

“What you got there?” You nodded your head towards the bag, looking up at him in curiosity as he placed himself down on your sofa. Joe took a quick look down at the bag before reaching out to hand it to you.

“It’s the surprise I was talking about.” Joe eyes you up and down, his eyes feeling like lasers as the heat started to build up throughout your body. You simply shook your head as you sat next to him— carefully opening the paper bag.

A peak of yellow was seen— pulling the huge box out you were met with the new Bowser Lego set that you have been looking to buy for a while now; it’s been sold out everywhere. One of the many surprising things that you’ve learned about Joe was that he loved Legos which you found exciting cause you had a mild but concerning obsession with Legos.

You eyed the box with wide eyes before looking up back at Joe who was looking at you amused— you couldn’t contain yourself so you launched yourself on the quarterback and tackled him in a hug.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I don’t know what occasion it is for you to give me a present but I’m not complaining!” You muttered excitingly in the crook of his neck as Joe squeezed you back in return, laughing at your explosive reaction.

“There is no occasion— and I have connections.” He said proudly before slowly scanning the papers scattered in front of him.

You let out an over exaggerated gasp, “You have Lego connections?” your eyes widening even more as you scooted closer to him— all your undivided attention now on him.

Joe nodded as he chuckles at your excitement, “Can I know those people, please?” You begged hoping the man next to you would give you what you asked for.

“I’m your Lego connection. I’ll buy you all the Lego you want— you have me.” Joe answers his eyes still trained on the papers in front of him as he tried his hardest to understand your manic handwriting.

“I do have you. That’s sweet.” You looked down on your lap smiling.

You hate yourself

“You have me.” Joe mutters under his breath.

You hated him.

You hated everything— why is this happening to you?

You hated how easy it is for your heart to love again. You hated how your body reacted to Joe— he could breathe in a weird way and you’d find it cute. You hated how you folded for a man who could easily disregard you like they all did.

You wanted to cry.

You hated how scared you are, it’s almost a year since the cheating scandal happened and you were still scared— you weren’t scared of falling, you were scared of crashing.

Trying your hardest to swallow the lump that formed in your throat, you turned to look at Joe who was quietly trying to read your lyrics— in a flash, your hand swooped down and compiled all the paper towards you.

“Uh uh, these are potential songs— no spoilers for you.” You tutted at him as you arranged the folded and crumpled pieces of papers in your arms.

“I couldn’t read them anyway. You have terrible handwriting, Y/N.” He teased as he eyed you for your reaction which you immediately responded to.

“Hey! I have very pretty handwriting. It just so happens that my brain was spitting out too many ideas at once that my hand couldn’t keep up.” you raised your chin high up— looking up at him, you’re eyebrow raised as to challenge him to disagree with you.

“Alright. I believe you.” The quarterback flicks your chin up with his fingers as he took a quick good look at you— Joe finds himself doing that to you a lot recently.

“Anyway, are we gonna make my baby Bowser? Or not?” You gave him the most childish smile you could muster making Joe smile back at you warmly before smirking, a mischievous look covering his handsome face.

“I thought you were gonna ask if we we’re gonna make a baby.” A huge grin twitching to form on his face and in turn you remained still looking at the man in front of you with wide eyes— your mouth opening and closing however, words weren’t coming out of your mouth.

“Maybe next time, lovebug.” Joe continued which shocked you even more. You had never expected that Joe Burrow would be like this prior to meeting him— he looks like such a serious man who means nothing but business. In fact, before meeting him you were sure that he had zero personality, you doubted it’s existence. You were so sure that football was his only personality trait, but now here he was making sex jokes— or was he flirting?

“Joseph Lee Burrow!” You yelled at him before smacking him on the shoulder with the box you were holding— the contents moving around making clanking noises inside the unopened box.

“Ow! I’m joking— but yeah, let’s make your baby Bowser.” He jokingly mocks you while he rubbed his shoulder that you had just hit.

That’s how you found yourselves the next couple of hours— playing with Legos.

You two were sat on the ground on the carpet, finding it more comfortable to work there than your expensive couch. The two of you worked in silence— unless when you two found yourselves singing along the songs in Joe’s playlist.

The bass to Future’s song Codeine Crazy was blasting in your speakers as you and Joe finished Bowser’s legs— you were bobbing your head to the beat as you mindlessly danced in your spot, your eyes solely focused on the manual in front of you— you were too focused that you failed to notice Joe watching you with a fond smile on his face.

What didn’t go unnoticed to you though was the reporter reporting celebrity news on your TV. Before Joe arrived, you were flipping through the channels on your TV looking for something to watch when you decided to leave it on ENews while you continued writing— ultimately you were now regretting that decision.

“New Jersey Devils’ star player Jack Hughes finally speaks up regarding his very public split with Grammy Award winning singer Y/N Y/L/N.”

Apparently this doesn’t go unnoticed by Joe as well who was now watching you as your eyes shot up and remained glued on the screen in front of you.

“Almost a year after videos and pictures surfaced of NHL star Jack Hughes kissing a unknown woman— Jack finally breaks his silence. We interviewed Jack after his game last Saturday against the New York Rangers and the 22 year old had a few things to say about the situation.”

“I just want to clear everything once and for all. You’ve only heard one side of the story. After three years of dating Y/N, never once did I cheat on her— when those pictures came out we were already broken up for a few months, so there was no cheating.”

You’re hands were now shaking while your chest moved up and down in an abnormally fast pace— the Lego piece you were previously holding was now disregarded on the table. Joe— you could barely hear him trying to call out for you. You were solely focused on the TV.

“I hope this stops the baseless rumors, the false narrative that has been put out through the songs— I don’t appreciate it.”

“Why do you think Y/N would lie?” the interviewer asked.

“I don’t know. She has been getting cozy with Burrow— maybe she’s projecting but I do wish her all the best.” Jack chuckles as he gives the interviewer a smile.

Silence

Joe managed to find the TV remote and turned it off but it was too late— you heard everything you needed to hear. You would have heard about that interview regardless, the internet is fast.

“Y/N.” Joe’ stern voice broke the silence. You failed to realize that he was now crouching right next to you.

The soft touch of his hand drawing circles on your back managed to bring the tears out to surface. You felt the burning pain in your chest that you’ve grown familiar with the past couple of months— everything came crashing down on you like the waves during a storm.

“He’s lying.” Was all you’ve managed to muster up. You’re voice was now raspy from the struggle of trying not to break down and cry.

“He’s lying.” You said again, more so to yourself— trying to calm yourself down.

“I know. I know. I believe you.” Joe reassured you while he continued playing with your hair. The blonde’s words shocked you. Why would he believe you? Why should he believe you?

“Why?” You sniffed looking up at Joe, you’re eyes getting more blurry as they filled themselves with tears.

Joe remained calm offering you a comforting smile before gathering you into his arms— he was now sitting behind you with you in between his parted legs, his arms wrapped around your entire torso as he gently pushes you backward to lean against him.

“We haven’t known each other for that long, Joe. How do you know that what he said wasn’t all true?” You pushed releasing a shaky breath not understanding why he is choosing to blindly trust and believe you.

The quarterback doesn’t know about Jack, he knows that you just recently ended a long term relationship but never the specifics— unless he researched you prior which seems uncharacteristic of Joe and unlikely at that.

“I believe you because you wouldn’t be acting like this if you were lying. I believe you because if you were lying, you wouldn’t tear up every time you performed a certain song. I believe you because if you were lying, you wouldn’t have a distant look on your face every time you get reminded of your ex. I believe you because I know you not him.”

The tears that gathered in your eyes finally fell. You were crying again— sure, Jack caused it but you were crying because deep down you knew that you were falling again, for someone who’s talking to you as if you were the most precious thing in the world, someone who unbeknownst to you have been watching your every move.

“He’s ruining my life. He keeps hurting me, Joey.” Sobs wracked your body as you curled up against his chest. “Shh, you’re okay, you’re alright. No one can ruin anything for you or hurt you without your consent, lovebug.” Joe coos as he tries his best to remove the hair that was now sticking on your face from the tears.

The ringing of your phone pulled the both of you out of your little bubble that you’ve just created, grabbing your phone you see Y/BF/N and Trevor calling you for a group FaceTime, quickly answering the call, you started to cry even harder— the overwhelming things that just had happened in a matter minutes getting to you.

“Y/N?” Your two best friends started in unison, their faces filled with concern as they finally saw the state you were in.

“Hey, Popstar.” Trevor gave you a sad smile as he tried to make you smile back at him.

“He’s a fucking liar, Z.” You looked at them sadly, your tears now falling slower than before but consistently.

Trevor looked at you defeatedly as he was just as hurt and disappointed at Jack as you were. He didn’t know why Jack would do something like that to you— he didn’t understand why he cheated in the first place. When Trevor confronted him that night, Jack stated that he was drunk and he didn’t mean to do it, that he wanted to apologize to you and take you back but still continued to date the same girl he cheated on you with and now this— lying to the world, turning the story around. Trevor was just as pissed.

“Y/N, I want you to breathe, okay? I already contacted your publicist for you and I’ll be back there by tomorrow— we’ll figure it out. We always do.” Y/BF/N calmly but sternly confronted you. Y/BF/N went back to her hometown for a couple of days to meet her family which is why she wasn’t with you currently like she always was.

“I know. It’s just people are gonna think I’m a fucking liar now— and that I cheated on him. He fucking implied I’ve been talking to Joe while we were dating and that I was projecting.” upon the realization that Joe’s name was brought into the conversation, you cried even harder.

You didn’t want Joe involved. He doesn’t deserve to be involved in such nonsense— he already gets bombarded by questions about you, now he’s gonna be apart of cheating allegations.

“No one is gonna believe that asshole, Y/N. Sure his die hard fans who wants to jump his bones might but that’s it— he’s dumb.” Y/BF/N explained.

“How do you know that?” You blurted. The pain and anger now reaching the surface ready for you to explode. Thankfully, Joe was quietly listening— his fingers slowly drawing patterns up and down your arm, whispering sweet nothings in your ears that could turn you into a melting puddle if you weren’t so angry right now.

“Because! We were all at that golf course a few weeks before the pictures of Jack cheating came out, remember? The paparazzi got photos of you two latched to each other like a couple of leeches, Y/N! Don’t you see? Jack didn’t think his plan through properly. People won’t believe his bullshit story about you two breaking up months prior and everyone knows you and Joe met after the fact.” You could kiss Y/BF/N through the phone right now. She was right. A few weeks before the drama exploded on your face; you, Y/BF/N, Trevor, Cole, Alex, Jack, Luke, and Quinn went out to play golf together— the day after that the tabloids had pictures of you and Jack together full on PDA.

He’s a dumb motherfucker and that dumb motherfucker is dead to you.

“So, do me a favor— grab your pen and paper and start your magic. I hate seeing you cry because of that fucker. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Joe don’t think I can’t see you, take care of her please.” Y/BF/N gave a stern look through the screen.

“I will.” Joe curtly answered before squeezing you tighter making you melt into him even more.

“Are you telling me the Joe Burrow has been right there this entire time? I’ve been looking at your zoomed in face when I could be looking at Joe Burrow?!” Trevor voices out, moving his head side to side as if he could get a glimpse of the NFL player that way.

You slowly inched your phone away from your face, Joe’s face now appearing on the screen earning a literal gasp from the hockey player.

“Oh my god, hi!” Trevor waves at the quarterback earning a chuckle from Joe and a small smile from you.

Trevor looked at you with a grin after finally making you smile, “I have a game against the Devils this week. I’ll bash his head in against the glass for you.” Trevor said his voice now serious as ever, along with a determined and pisses off look on his face that you only see during his games.

You only hummed in reply before deciding to bid goodbye to your two best friends— lyrics floating around your head waiting to be written out of anger.

“Your friends are sweet.” Joe comments once the call ended, now watching you as you pulled out new blank pieces of papers— both of your positions unchanging, in fact you two were even closer than before.

“They are— you are too.” Turning to meet his intense gaze you managed to give him a genuine smile as you watched him watch you.

Joe was holding you so close and so gentle that it made your heart ache in a good way. “Thank you.” you whispered.

“You can talk to me, always.”

And that’s what you did. Not moving from both of your places, you told Joe everything. From meeting Jack to losing Jack— you told him everything. You shed a few tears as you told him how bad it hurts, how it broke you— you told him how scared you were, how scared you are now of love— of falling in love; and Joe listen. He quietly listened as you poured your heart to him, until Joe caressing your arms and him whispering reassuring words to you slowly lulls you to sleep.

The energy you drained from writing your songs and from crying pulled you into a slumber. You remained motionless in Joe’s arms— your back leaning on his chest as he circled his arms tighter around you, protecting you from the world as he watched your chest steadily move up and down, your soft snores filling his ears making him smile.

Joe enjoys your company. Meeting you was one of the highlights of his life— you were a breath of fresh air. You were so beautiful inside and out, you were funny and witty— the banter and conversations you two would have kept him on his toes. Joe never once denied what he felt and he knew he will have to work hard for you to believe his feelings especially now with how fragile you were— Joe cares for you and he hated how your smile instantly dropped after hearing the news, he hated seeing and hearing you cry which is why as he watches you sleep in his arms, he carefully pulled out his phone.

Joe was just as pissed as you were and everyone will know that.

𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

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inkdemonapologist · 4 months

Text

!!!!!!!!!!! New Cthulhu Season has started!! this time featuring:

The band at our fancy party started playing a song that Sammy INSTANTLY recognised as his own improv, played a year and some change ago from the balcony of a New Orleans hotel to calm his nerves, which really should not be turning up perfectly replicated here and unsettled him so much that he ended up trying to communicate this to Jack in the LEAST CLEAR WAY IMAGINABLE

we got a supernatural partycrasher at the fancy party which means wE GOT PROPHET IN A SUIT!!! FANCY PROPHET FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES!! his previously prophesied warning of what was to come included the phrase "a report that silences the tongue of ythill," which is apparently what this was, and he got SO EXCITED about the appearance of this weird man making people bleed from the eyes that he booted Sammy from the front to take it all in. THE TIME IS FINALLY AT HAND!!!

i also have a lil smattering of out-of-context quotes from session 1 if ur into that sort of thing: here under the cut!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] Aw, there's no snow in the year before, so probably no snowball fights for Christmas, [GM] Well, we can invent our own, that's fine. [Sammy] It's the ONE difference! IDENTICAL TO OUR WORLD, except for on December 25th there was snow, don't worry about it. [GM] And tape recorders! [Sammy] There's tape recorders, and there was snow on December 25th, 1934. [Sammy] AND ALSO CTHULHU IS REAL. But other than that it's exactly the same. [GM] That's it, just those little things. [Henry] A minor detail.

[GM] Another question: Christmas is on a Tuesday, does the Studio get days off? [Joey] In the Cthulhu universe, yes… And It's All Henry's Fault.

[Jack] Anyone who failed their Sanity gain checks in '35 -- it's the anticipation. [Sammy] Yeah, it's just driving you absolutely bonkers that this prophecy still hasn't happened, can it go ahead and get it over with? I hate having this hanging over my head! [Sammy] And if you PASS your sanity check, and gained sanity, it could be that you're just INCREASINGLY IN DENIAL. Like, you know what? Maybe he forgot!

[Jack] Jack's the most likely to keep up with these poor people we keep roping into our nonsense! [Joey] Hey, HEY! [Jack] "Welcome to the group! You're only here for a little bit, but have some trauma! Trauma for you! And trauma for you! BYE"

[Sammy] We're like Absol. We're not CAUSING the trouble, but it IS in our wake, constantly. [Jack] Absol is 100% a modern teenage Joey Drew's fursona. [Joey] ….Yeah…

[Henry] Is it an easier apartment to get to, for Joey, than the one he has? [Joey] That is a really good question. [GM] It has ONE flight of stairs, but it doesn't have ten zillion flights, so I mean, it's better, probably! It DID have an evil ritual in it,

[Jack] *reading the inflation calculator* $1,000 in 1935 is… 22 thousand.. and a half… dollars????? [Joey] GREAT! *claps* STUDIO'S FUNDED! :D [Jack] Joey, no, [Sammy] You can do that with YOUR money, [Joey] I mean, that IS what's going to happen to Joey's money, Joey's just going to immediately dump it into the studio. Grant gets a LOVELY holiday present where suddenly, the numbers are not in the red anymore! [GM] This is how Grant doesn't become the final boss. [Sammy] Is that a present? IS THAT A PRESENT??? Grant looks at the numbers and they're suddenly bigger? WHAT'S HAPPENING [Jack] Sounds like a tax nightmare… he assumes his mind is broken, he's gone delusional, [Sammy] Joey's not thinking about how this affects TAXES he's just like, OH BOY! More money! Grant'll work that out. :) [Joey] Yeah! :D

[Sammy] Oh wow, mistletoe's been around for a while. [Sammy] …I say, as if mistletoe, the plant, is newly invented,

[Jack] We need to even the playing field; Henry's the highest, we need to drag him down to our level!

[GM] Let's say it's just you guys, and Peter and Susie, and Norman took off. [Sammy] Aw, don't wanna stay late? Old man, gotta get to bed? [GM] Maybe not if people are saying THAT at him,

*after finding a major ice rink was not built until 1936* [GM] Well, maybe everyone can do that when they DEFINITELY survive and come out victorious next year! :) [Sammy] ….survive?! Nothing's happened! It's a CHRISTMAS PARTY. [Jack] I HOPE we're surviving the Christmas Party, the food's not THAT bad, is it? [Henry] We solved your Christmas puzzle! [Jack] The Christmas Puzzle is how much food can we trick Joey into eating by handing it to him,

[Jack] Oh no, Spark's gone to… CATCOSA…. !

[Sammy] That's fine, Disney still hasn't caught up with us, so. [Jack] Well they're havin' this whole weird issue with like, ink and cultists, it's a bit weird… bunch of the staff started going missing…? [Sammy] *laughing* The entirety of Bendy and the Ink Machine happens, just OVER THERE. We averted it so now Disney has to do it.

[Henry] I will say, Henry's been a little uneasy all day. This doesn't affect anything, it's just for flavour. [GM] But he is in a really nice suit! [Sammy] Well THAT's why he's uneasy. They had to smooth his hair, and he's in a whole suit, [GM] In a vest that actually fits, [Henry] Unrecognisable. [Jack] Who is this stranger?

[GM] Make spot (hidden) checks! [Jack] *whispering* I hope it's Norman. [GM] Both of you spot a familiar face, before he's able to come accost you -- it's not Norman, it's Denis! [Sammy] oh gosh. [Joey] Well… I don't know if that's better or worse than my initial guess of Avedon,

[GM] He greets you all cheerful-like, "fancy meeting you here!" sort of thing-- [Sammy] Sammy still doesn't shake his hand. [GM] --he knows you as Joseph, doesn't he? [Joey] Oh no…. Joey was trying to hide his name in New Orleans… [Jack] That's fine, it's all about reinvention!

[Sammy] You know how in the Illusion of Living, Wally comes up and Joey randomly starts talking about how he's a great guy and a hard worker, and you're like, we were talking about something else ten seconds ago Joey PLEASE stay focused, [Sammy] Anyway, I'm imagining that but with Peter?

[Sammy] The Studio just had a big release last year, and I just got this really nice car! and *mumbling* those events aren't actually connected, BUT!! Through the power of leaving out the middle bit, you can assume they are!

[GM] Sammy, make a listen check! [Sammy] EXTREME SUCCESS, I rolled a THREE. [GM] Oh cool! Make a sanity check! [Sammy] oh no,,, [Joey] *Mario voice* HERE WE GO!

[Sammy] Sammy is gonna look at Joey, see that Joey is like…. in the midst of a conversational manoeuvre, and go, run try to find Jack. I don't know if he'll GET there, but, [GM] He can at least locate Jack, I would think, unless Jack is in a back room kissing boys or whatnot!

[GM] This guy is wearing a really severe, matte black suit, and has unnaturally white skin, his hair is black and very oiled in a severe widow's peak-- [Jack] It's him! Bendy Inkmachine!! [GM] I'm reading this description RIGHT from the book, I need you to know that.

[GM] The music's also definitely come to a stop, while all this was going on. And then there's a gunshot! And now there's just a big, yknow, panic, like you get! [Jack] Avedon's here! [Sammy] There'd be more French-accented yelling if Avedon were here. [Joey] I like how we're just going to end up willing Avedon into this scenario by making repeated "Avedon's here" jokes, [Jack] I mean, I've been trying to do the same with Norman, but it's either not working, or we haven't rolled Spot high enough to find him yet!

[GM] You guys get interviewed and asked what you saw, and what happened! [Sammy] …hang on, I gotta roll a check. [Sammy] *rolls* … OKAY COOL Sammy's back. [Joey] *laughing* Sammy interview, or Prophet interview? [Sammy] They were going to get a REALLY interesting interview if I rolled better on willpower!

[GM] Do you suppose Joey would've helped Susie shop for a dress that she could conceal a firearm in? [Joey] [Joey] sURE! [Joey] I mean I feel like, "would Joey help Susie shop for a dress," stop the sentence there: absolutely yes. There's other things to consider with dress? Well that just makes it a fun challenge now!

[GM] The police ask you what you saw. What do you tell them, about your experiences this evening? [Sammy] Sammy didn't see a lot. There was some commotion and a gunshot. [Joey] Yeah, I think Joey's just going to report that he just heard commotion happening up front, and quickly decided that he wasn't interested in commotion!

[Henry] Who was it who saw people with bloody eyes? [Sammy] Uh, that was Sammy, he's not mentioning that part.

[Jack] *rolls* Normal success for Jack. [Henry] *rolls* Hard success! [Sammy] *rolls* EXTREME success, I rolled a ten! [Joey] *rolls* …what's the fumble point, again?

[GM, as Denis] "There was a yellow sign at the Mardi Gras party last year! I thought it was a lucky charm, but I guess… it wasn't? I had a friend who said it wasn't, actually. You should watch out for those signs. Yes." [Joey] *so tired* Okay, that's… that's fine… [Henry] "Very helpful, thank you." [Jack] (This guy's great, can we keep him?) [Joey] (NO.)

[Henry] Henry is going to have so much anxiety. Like, just in general, but over this, too. [Sammy] "going to"??? [Henry] *laughing* No, you're right. What I'm learning is that Henry CAN slide into being mostly even-headed about crises, but he has to have a moment of "Oh God, oh fuck, oh geez" first. [GM] I think Peter does that in reverse. [Sammy] Yeah, that makes sense -- Sammy just shoots straight for "OH COOL, WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!"

[GM] How much do you suppose these boys are up on vernacular and slang? [Henry] Henry might've picked up something from his kids, that's all I've got [Sammy] That's cute… Henry knows what yeet means... [Joey] I WAS ALSO GONNA SAY HENRY KNOWS WHAT YEET MEANS,

[Sammy] I do appreciate Jack being the one to notice that the prophecy might be a pun.

[Sammy] What do we even DO with this? What do we do next… [Joey] *muttering* That's what I've been trying to think of for the last like… half hour, Sammy…! [Joey] This isn't Joey-voice, this is just me-voice. [Jack] Yeah, Joey would never admit weakness in front of Peter Sunstram. [Joey] Yeah. Correct.

[Jack] Well if anyone else wants coffee, Jack might end up makin' some! [Jack] You know, that 11:30 coffee.

[Sammy] "Well, if he plays clarinet, let us know." [GM] Peter tips his head as if he's thinking of looking that up -- not looking it up, looking into it! [Jack] Yeah, just google it, Pete! What are you waiting for! [GM] On his cell phone, [Jack] You gotta pull out your Bendyphone! [Sammy] JDS is responsible for all anachronistic devices.

[Jack] Is It An Insanity Or Is It Just The ADHD

[Joey] Is Joey gonna make stupid decisions…? [Sammy] JOEY,,, [Sammy] Augh, I should've gone with him, [Joey] *rolls* *starts cackling maniacally* [Jack] *deadpan* Oh gee I wonder what the result is, [Joey] *audibly grinning* Joey might try to dream spell… Y? [Sammy] WHAT?! [Henry] Joey what are you doing…. [Sammy] JOEY DREW!!!

[Henry] I roll to see if Henry's "Joey's Doing Something Stupid" senses are tingling [Joey] Yeah, I think it's fair for Henry to have a "Is Joey Doing Something Stupid" sense that goes off fifty percent of the time, [Sammy] It's NOT USEFUL because it's ALWAYS HAPPENING,

#quote post #call of cthulhu: haunted hijinx #sammy lawrence #jack fain #prophet sammy #when in doubt just keep drawing #already vibrating about these boys once again

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ofstoriesandstardust · 1 year

Text

so long, daisy may (lt. bradley “rooster” bradshaw)

a/n: anti-hero belongs to rebel but so does you’re on your own kid and i won’t change my mind. @struggling-with-delia has been here for every step and evolution of this piece and i’m truly posting this for her because i honestly never thought this would see the light of day. i am going to hide under a rock until further notice bye.

summary: It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.

originally inspired by taylor swift’s “anti-hero” and “you’re own your own, kid”

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | same mistakes-verse | same mistakes-verse timeline

warnings: nightmares, blood, swearing, jealousy, insecurity, alcohol, brief brief brief reference to an ED if you squint, we were introduced to Petals in the my tears ricochet piece and there was popular demand for me to bring her back, i took some stylistic risks with this one, and it’s that this has no point of resolve and a very abrupt ending, if you hate this don’t tell me because i’ll cry

word count: 3,325

Picking up Bob’s wrist where his watch sits, you glance at the time, rolling your eyes. He looks down at your curiously, sipping his drink.

The last thing you expected to be the topic of conversation tonight was her. You’d made the mistake of leaning over to your best friend’s phone, being nosy about what he was looking at on Instagram. There’d been a picture of your old teammate, Moonshine, as she’d taken a leave trip to New York City after the Green Vipers short trip to Miramar.

It’s how you learned she’d been at Top Gun with your best friend the first time around, and subsequently your boyfriend. And apparently most everyone else too.

The group had now been trading stories of their experiences will her, all glowing. It’d been at least a half hour of this, and you slowly felt like you were losing your grip on your sanity, what with the whiplash Coyote was giving you. He’d been there, watched her follow everyone else and treat you like shit, so where did he get off talking like this?

“Take it you’re not a fan?” Hangman smirks as he raises an eyebrow at you. You shake your head, running a hand through your hair.

“Not in the slightest.”

“Really?” Phoenix asks, leaning up against the pool table.

“Why?” Your boyfriend asks incredulously and you glance at him, shrugging.

“Just... didn’t have a good experience with her.”

You didn’t talk much about how awful everyone on the team had been. They knew you didn’t like your old squadron but you were unwilling to detail just how badly they treated you.

“Gonna need more reason than that, babe.”

You turn to him. “Well, why do you like her so much?”

He looks away. “You know... she’s a good pilot. Funny. Life of the party.”

“Pretty too.” Hangman comments, looking between you and Rooster.

You glance at him. “What? Why do I get the feeling I’m missing something?” Coyote nudges Hangman, shaking his head. Phoenix coughs awkwardly, looking up at the ceiling. “What?” Your boyfriend shifts, setting his drink down next to the pool table, game long forgotten.

“We... hooked up once or twice when we were at Top Gun the first time.”

Oh.

He carefully watches you, waiting for a reaction, but you don’t have one to give him, trying to not squirm from the slimy feeling slithering up your spine.

“But that’s not why I like her. She’s cool, really good pilot. I don’t know, you don’t meet pilots as genuine and level-headed as her. She’s just.. she’s really... I don’t know, she’s cool.”

There’s a prickling sensation, something you want to recognize as jealousy.

You pick up your drink, knocking the rest down your throat. You swallow and set the glass down with a little bit more force than necessary. The noise the movement makes echoes in the silence of the group. “If she’s so cool, you should go date her instead.”

You pull yourself from your boyfriend’s arm, slipping off the bar stool and moving away from the pool table.

“Oh Rebel, c’mon, I didn’t mean it like that.” He calls after you but you ignore him in favor leaving the bar. Crossing your arms, you take a deep breath as you walk towards your car.

Only a month or so in, and despite the years you’d known him, you wouldn’t call your relationship with Bradley anything short of new.

At times, it felt like no place had ever felt more right than being next to him. At times, it seemed like everything had happened to lead you to be right here, right now.

Other times though, it felt like one misstep would take you hurling back to the years of animosity. One misspoken word, one argument, would fracture the happy family and fragile peace, leaving your hands littered with glass as you did what you did best.

Hurt them first, right?

As gross as the two of you were (Fanboy’s words), always so blatantly in love with each other, you were still unsure about if you belonged here. Belonged here, belonged with them, belonged with him.

It had little to do with Moonshine as a person. You did have to admit, that when her head wasn’t up Ghost and Shadow’s ass, when she wasn’t constantly seeking the approval from others, she was cool. She was funny, was genuine. If she could get away from her “follow the leader” mentality, the two of you probably could’ve been great friends.

But... You hadn’t been around for Top Gun with this crew. Most of them had known each other since then, and hell a few of them went all the way back to flight school. You were just as new as Bob and it still sometimes felt like you were fighting to earn your place here.

You still weren’t sure you were cut out for this team, for what the Navy expected from you all. You still weren’t sure that one day you’d be turning around and heading straight back to the Green Vipers. The only two ties you had to this group were your best friend and your boyfriend and if they changed their minds about you... well, you weren’t a fool to think these people would still be friends with you.

It had little to do with Moonshine as a person. It was what she represented. If she was so great... well, maybe she belonged in your place instead.

You certainly didn’t disagree.

You sit at the bar, head propped up on your hand as you watch Rooster clap Bob on the back. He’s startled by the movement, dropping a few peanuts, but smiles the toothy grin at him nonetheless.

You’d retreated to the bar twenty minutes ago under the pretense of getting more beers and it doesn’t seem like anyone had noticed your disappearance from the group. Hell, they probably wouldn’t have even noticed if you hadn’t shown up tonight.

Why had you shown up tonight?

Penny’s making polite conversation with you as you sit there, and you thank your lucky stars she doesn’t comment on the fact that you are clearly uninvested in the discussion. Looking back to the group, you make eye contact with Rooster and you immediately look away.

“Someone’s coming to talk.” She whispers and someone is as the bodies of Rooster and Hangman appear on either side of you. Your boyfriend sighs, settling down in the seat next to you, arm moving to settle on your back. You ignore him, continuing to sip on your drink.

“You’re mad at me.” He says as Hangman orders different drinks from Penny.

You swallow as Penny eyes the two of you, handing the beers over to Hangman. “I’m not mad.” You finally settle on.

“Course she’s mad Rooster, it’s not cool to bring up a girl you used to bang in front of your current girlfriend.”

“You instigated that Bagman, so shut up.” You say, taking another sip of your drink.

Hangman raises his hands in surrendering, retreating the the pool table. Rooster nudges you, nodding his head back to the group. “C’mon, come play.”

You shake your head, swallowing the last of your drink. “’M good.”

“Honey, I’m sorry I brought her up. Know it must not feel good to hear about that.”

“Quite frankly, I don’t care that you hooked up with her.”

He nods slowly. “Okay... then why are you mad?”

“I told you, I’m not mad.”

He sighs, leaning his head up against your shoulder. “Honey, please just talk to me so we can fix this.”

“I’m not mad; do you want me to create feelings that aren’t there?” You ask, feeling yourself starting to get defensive.

“You’re jealous.”

And he’s not wrong, not entirely, because you had been for a moment, but only before the insecurity had set in.

You shake your head. “Not jealous.”

“Well, you’re something because you’re been sitting over here for half an hour talking to Penny and you’ve barely talked to me all day.”

“How do you know I’m not having an engaging, intellectually stimulating conversation with Penny?” He gives you a look that has your defenses rising up even faster. “Would you just drop it?”

“Are we gonna be good if I do?”

You stand up from your seat, turning towards the pool table. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

He groans. “That does not sound like we’re fine.” He calls, catching the attention of Fanboy. You slip in between him and Payback. “Rebel-”

“I said, I’m not mad and we’re fine. We’re dropping it.” He watches you for a moment, assessing if that’s really what he wants to do, but must decide from continuing the conversation, deflating down into a stray bar stool. You turn, grabbing your keys and jacket that had originally been thrown over the railing near the pool table as the team watches you. “I’m going home.” You say to no one in particular. No one protests or follows you as you make your way out of the bar, and it takes everything you to not let that sting as you walk to your car.

Shutting the locker door, you shoulder your bag and slip your phone into you back pocket.

“Hey, you coming to the Hard Deck tonight?”

You turn to see Halo sitting on the bench, looking back to you. Phoenix turns at the comment, wet hair from her shower falling over her shoulder. Tentatively, you grip the straps of your bag and shake your head. “Nah, I’ve got a friend in town. Going out to dinner to catch up with her.” Phoenix raises an eyebrow but says nothing. “What?” You ask, turning towards her.

Most days, you weren’t sure if you and Phoenix would ever be friends. Maybe the two of you could be amicable, friendly even, a few years down the road. Still, she’d grown on you and you had hoped you had grown on her but... it was tough.

You knew she kept you at arms length, that much was obvious. Knew she was still Rooster’s best friend, didn’t trust you to take care of him, to not break his heart. She didn’t trust you and damn if that didn’t sting.

Phoenix shakes her head. “Nothing, you just... don’t seem to be doing a lot of spending time with us lately.”

You sigh, shifting your bag. “That’s not true, you guys were at my house on Saturday.”

“Okay, let me rephrase: you don’t seem to be wanting to spending a lot of time with us lately.”

“That’s especially not true, considering game night was my idea.”

She eyes you for a moment and then glances back to Halo before dropping down to the bench. “Does this have anything to do with the Moonshine thing-” You huff, readjusting your grip again as you move your eyes to the ceiling “-from last week, because truly Bradshaw didn’t mean it-”

“-like that. Yeah, I got it Phoenix, thanks. Look, I really gotta go-” She sighs, cutting you off. “What?”

Once more, she shakes her head, rubbing her fingers over her temples. “Nothing. Have fun with your friend.”

You nod slowly, feeling your throat dry. “K, well, I’ll- see you all tomorrow then.” You wave, bidding them goodbye, as your back turns and head for the door. You blink back the tears threatening to fight their way over as you walk towards the parking lot.

That couldn’t even be considered a fight, barely a disagreement between teammates. Still, you wanted her to like you so bad-

There was a sickening feeling of deja vu crashing over you.

You never learned.

The laughter ringing out made your soul feel lighter than it had in weeks as you sit across from your friend in some Mexican restaurant Google had recommended. She smiled at you as you looked down to your phone, seeing a text from Bradley, telling you that he missed you and wished you were there.

“Lover boy?” You nodded as you lock the device and slip it back into the bag, returning your attention to your friend.

“I wish you were staying longer than a night.”

She sighs. “Wish I could too, but I’m out on deployment for six months at 8 am sharp tomorrow.”

A silence falls over the table as you fiddle with your fork, avoiding her eye. “Can I ask you a question?”

She hums an affirmative.

“You went to Top Gun with them all, right?” She nods.

“A few of them, yeah. Why?” You sigh, leaning back in your chair as she reaches across the table for another chip. “Uh-oh, is this the part of the night where you’re honest with me and tell me there’s trouble in paradise?”

You roll your eyes, shaking your head. “What did you think of Phoenix?”

“Of Phoenix?” She asks, pausing as she raises an eyebrow. You nod. “I liked her. Very intelligent, very clever. Good pilot. Earned everything she’s gotten. Why?”

You shrug. “I just don’t think she likes me very much.”

“I doubt that. She sticks to the other female pilots. There aren’t many of us. And even if she doesn’t, what does that matter?”

“She’s Bradley’s best friend and I don’t- I don’t know.” You mumble, cheeks going red.

“What’s really going on? C’mon, out with it.”

You sigh. “Um, last week Moonshine-” Petals makes a noise in her throat, rolling her eyes. “-got brought up and I found out she and Rooster hooked up a few times at Top Gun.”

“Thought he had standards.”

You shoot her a look. “And I just- I’ve sort felt like I’ve been on the wrong foot, with this whole team since I got here, and I just- I don’t think I belong here P. Maybe she belongs here instead.”

“Belong with this team or with him?”

You groan, reaching up to rub your eyes. “Both, maybe? I don’t know.”

She eyes you as you fall silent. The silence grows as she waits for you to continue but no words find their way to the surface. The waitress comes over, asking if you want dessert. She looks to you as you down the last of your margarita.

“I don’t know about you, but I kind of want one of everything.”

You laugh as the alcohol warms you. “One of both? Sure, why not.”

You didn’t acknowledge the little voice in your head screaming at you that you didn’t need one of both, let one of any dessert, because you didn’t do that anymore-

Petals closes the menu, smiling at the waitress. “Can we also have another round of margaritas? Thank you so much.” The waitress walks off and Petals turns to you. “Why do you feel out of place?”

“I just- I don't feel like I’m good enough to be here. And I don’t know, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop with him, to fuck things up like I always do-”

“First of all, no you don’t. He is equally, if not more, responsible for your falling out. Second of all, and I’m sorry to be so frank with you, but the idea that you are not good enough to be with this team, or don’t belong with this team, is bullshit.” She puts her elbows up on the table, clasping her hands together. “If the Navy wanted Moonshine on this team, wanted Moonshine called back for that mission, they would’ve called back Moonshine and Coyote. But they didn’t. They called you back because the Navy wanted you. Bradshaw doesn’t want Moonshine, he wants you.”

You look at her, struggling to allow her words to ring true.

You deserved to be here.

You were good enough.

He wanted you.

“I just-”

“Rebel, he loves you. Loves you more than I’ve seen another person love someone. Even back then, I knew. I know now. He loves you so honestly, so openly. He’d bleed open if it meant you’d accept his heart. Why can’t you trust him with yours?”

You make a noncommittal shrug, avoiding her eyes. “I don’t know... things are good right now, I’ll admit it. But they’re delicate. If I fuck it up, I lose everything.”

She raises an eyebrow. “This isn’t just about Bradshaw is it?” You shake your head and she sighs. “Okay, here’s what I know. I’ve had my issues with Bradshaw. We’ve talked about it.” You nod. “Hangman’s an ass and I can’t stand him.”

“Yeah, fair. valid. I don’t like him either.”

“And for however much I like Phoenix, I know she’s still loyal to Bradshaw.”

You nod, bottom lip catching in your teeth. “Yeah.”

“But I know Coyote to be good people, but I also know you know that too.”

You duck your head. “Of course I know it P. They’re all good people, I think Hangman might even have a heart in there somewhere.”

“But?” She prompts.

“But I know that I have a reputation. And you know, how do I... how do I ask them to keep taking hits because of it? How long can they put up with me before they get tired of it? I mean, you know it, it’s got to be exhausting defending me all the time, to have to have my back, to carry the brunt of my shit.”

“What reputation do you think I’ve got exactly?” She asks sharply, eyes narrowing.

“For being a rule-breaker. For-”

She waves a hand, cutting you off before you can even finish. “You earned your callsign. And if anything, you’ve earned a reputation because you’re a good pilot. For being a good friend, for always having your wingman’s back. I know you think you’re asking a lot of these people but you’re not. You’re not asking a lot of them to be there, to be your friend. What you fail to see is that they want to be your friend. Bradshaw doesn’t want to be with anyone but you. And I consider myself damn lucky to call you my close friend.”

She settles back in her chair, eyeing you as the dessert arrives at the table. There’s silence as she continues to stare at you, even as you reach for one of the plates, ignoring her.

Finally, she sighs. “You heard from your Mom lately?”

You pause, eyes snapping up to hers at the sudden change in topic. “No and I don’t care to. Why the fuck are you bringing her up?”

She shrugs, leaning over the table to take the plate you’re holding from you. “Don’t let her dictate your life. You’re not on your own anymore.”

The white of your dress was stained, blood seeping through the material, turning the creamy color to one that made your stomach turn. You wiped your hands against it, leaving streaks of blood behind, but never able to fully get them to become clean.

You swallow, getting frustrated as you try so hard to rid yourself of the stain, of your mistakes.

You had sworn your wouldn’t do this again.

“I knew you’d break his heart in the end.”

It’s Phoenix’s voice.

Your head shoots up, searching for her, begging for her to forgive you for hurting him first.

You didn’t mean to-

The only one who’s there in this room of white though, is a figure you never thought you’d see again.

“Mom?”

She smiles softly at you. “It happened, didn’t it, honey?”

“I tried, I promise, but now-” You look down again to your hands, realizing how red they are. Red with his blood. It had been his heart you’d broken. “I’m sorry, so sorry-”

“Oh, honey, don’t you know?” You shake your head, eyes searching hers. “They never cared in the first place. All the bridges burned.”

You swallow, fighting to stand to your feet. “No, they like me, they’re my friends-”

She lets out a laugh that sends cold straight through you, echoing and ringing out for miles through the space.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw fics #bradley rooster bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fics #bradley bradshaw fic #top gun: maverick #top gun: maverick fics #same mistakes

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an-au-blog · 5 months

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about this

Oh, okay, I got you ;))

@snowlynxdraws this one's for you<3

(though for my own sanity, I'm going to keep very little of the actual movie because I don't remember most and don't want to rewatch it, tho I'm gonna leave that one iconic dialogue...)

Sanji was Luffy's friend, not Zoro's. He was also friends with Nami sweet and lovely Robin, not the Marimo. He loved hanging out with Usopp and even the upperclassmen Franky and the weird music teacher Brook. But. Not. Zoro.

So it came off as a surprise that he always ended up in situations where he and Zoro were (sometimes literally) pushed together.

It really was a pity, because, in the beginning, they were getting along. And Sanji wouldn't exactly admit he enjoyed his brief bond, but he also couldn't deny he missed it sometimes. Their dynamic only changed because that stupid marimo started picking fights out of nowhere. At first, he thought it was for fun, but by now Sanji thought he might as well genuinely hate him.

Sanji was in the changing room with the rest of the team. He started track not because he wanted to, but because the soccer team didn't have enough people and the cooking club wasn't "an official extracurricular". He didn't mind it, but was it often at the same time as the kendo club. Which meant he and Zoro saw each other and possibly even walked home together quite often.

Sanji could never really hated Zoro, that was the problem, because he tried, but could never really learn to do it. Zoro on the other hand, seemed to despise him.

So it seemed quite odd that every time, Zoro insisted on them waiting for each other. It wasn't even like they split ways at some point, it was just Zoro walking him home. He was curious, he had to know, so one day he decided to ask.

"Why do you keep insisting on walking home together." It was a simple and straightforward question.

Zoro scoffed with a smug smile. "Wouldn't you like to know, curly..."

"Yes, I would! That's why I'm asking, idiot!" Sanji could feel him getting on his nerves again. But he wanted to be the bigger man and not start the inevitable fight.

He took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

Zoro's head shot to him. "What are you doing? Where did you even get those?"

Sanji wanted to act cool "Why, because it's illegal for someone my age to buy-"

"Don't you know how horrible those are for your health? Especially your lungs, you do track for crying out loud!" He sounded serious, "They could kill you, you know..." even a bit sad.

The blond boy didn't know what to say. He never expected any amount of care to be coming from Zoro. He quickly thought of a response, he couldn't let the marimo have the moral high ground!

"What do you care," he tisked, "it's not like it's your business how much I live! And with the way you act, you getting on my nerves all the time will kill me long before these things do," he waved the cigarette in demonstrated. And continued walking. A bit of a low blow, he knew that... but he panicked.

Zoro was stuck in place, still trying to comprehend what the other said: "Getting on your- wha- Hey, wait up!" He ran to catch up with Sanji. Zoro was completely silent for the rest of the walk. It was like he was sulking.

They reached Sanji's house. It was one of those big houses with a pool and a big backyard. Sora - Sanji's mother, got a lot out of her ex after the divorce. Ever since Sanji's older siblings moved out, it's been a meeting spot for Luffy and the others. Reiju moved back in after she finished college, but it's only for her so-called "year of freedom", before her master's degree. Sanji hated that every time they got close to his house he just knew she could see them. He didn't have evidence she was there, but he had that feeling.

"Welp, bye." Sanji tried to make this awkward moment as short as possible, but a hand grabbed him.

Zoro was looking down with a thoughtful look, his other hand was gripping and fidgeting with the strap of his backpack.

"What." No answer... "What is it?" he tried to keep his voice down but with all the annoyance that was building up, the words seemed hissed and meaner than expected.

He didn't answer just let go and walked away. Sanji didn't think much of it, sure it was weird, but he was sure it wasn't a big deal.

The next day Zoro left early. Offhandedly Sanji asked "Where is he going?"

"He wanted to go home early." One of his teammates answered.

Which Sanji found odd for two reasons: 1. that was not the way they usually left, in fact, it was the opposite way. And 2. Zoro rarely left early from practice, dare he say never.

Sanji didn't think much of it. Until it happened again. And then again. And then it was Saturday and he thought that at least they'll see each other then. And just like expected, every one of them came over to his house to hang out. Nami mainly came for the pool, Chopper came to eat the sweets that Sora always bakes for him, and all of them had favorite parts of hanging out. And now that Zoro was here and avoiding him, with an ache in his chest, Sanji had to finally admit that his favorite part was Zoro.

Sanji tried telling Usopp, as the only friend he'd trust enough to tell - he would never tell anyone, he could lie if anyone asked, and even if (on the off chance) he told the truth half of them wouldn't believe him. So he tells him that he thinks Zoro is avoiding him. To which Usopp laughs and tells him there's no way that's the case. But Sanji knew it was! The swordsman would see Sanji approach him and jump in the water. When he tells him he wants to talk, Zoro flips him off saying he's already talking to Luffy. When he finally catches him alone, he says he's already leaving.

It was infuriating.

Zoro left early. And all Sanji did was watch the door close in front of him. He had to snap out of it, so Usopp kicked him in the shins.

Sanji: Ow! What the hell man?

Usopp: Are you insane! Go after him!

Sanji: What?

Usopp: Yeah yeah no need to gloat, something really is up,

he started pushing him out,

Usopp: Now go, go, go, before he's too far!

Sanji put on his running shoes and started running after him. Zoro turned around, saw him, and started walking faster. The anger only fueled Sanji to catch up to him even faster.

Sanji: Hey! Heeey!

He shouted from the distance to make the other stop, but he didn't.

Sanji, a few steps from Zoro, launched himself forward with a jump that would give Olympians a run for their money: Maaarimooo!

Zoro stumbled forward, Sanji ganging from his back, grabbing onto whatever clothing item that would keep him from falling. It took exactly 15 seconds for Zoro to lose balance and fall.

Zoro: What is wrong with you! You could've killed me!

Sanji, groaning from the fall but still holding on: I wanna talk to you.

Zoro: No, you don't.

Sanji tightened his grip: I do! Why are you avoiding me?

Zoro: I'm not! Let go, you're gonna rip my jacket!

Sanji: Stop lying! You're avoiding me! Just admit it, you won't even talk to me in class, you leave without me, what did I do to you, you big baby?!

Zoro: Why should you care, you hate me!

Sanji:...

As if on cue, rain started to pour down. It was like the sky had ripped open.

Zoro, pulling Sanji up: Shit, we gotta get out of here. Come on.

He grabbed Sanji by the hand and dragged him two more blocks before opening a front door. He dropped his keys on the shelf and took off his boots and coat.

Zoro: Come on, I'll give you some dry clothes. You can wait out the rain or call your mom to pick you up if you want.

Sanji, looking around: Is this your house? I can't believe I've never been here before.

A small set of footsteps came up to them. A little girl with pink hair in ponytails hid behind Zoro's leg.

Zoro: Perona, introduce yourself to our guest.

Sanji, kneeling down to be at eye level with the little girl: Well, hello there, I'm Sanji, nice to meet you.

Perona just stuck her tongue out at him.

Zoro turned to his sister "Atta girl!" he gave her a high five and turned back to Sanji, "She doesn't like strangers." He looked back at Perona, patting her hair "is dad here?" She shook her head 'no'. "Alright, I'll be in my room and I need you to stay out of it, you hear me?" She made a sour face, huffed and stormed off.

They went to his room and Sanji was a bit surprised by how clean it was. Before he could say anything, he got a shirt and a pair of sweatpants thrown in his face.

Zoro: Here, I'll wait outside if you want.

He started walking out, but Sanji called out: Wait!

Zoro turned around.

Sanji: ...I don't hate you.

Zoro's gaze faltered. He took a small breath and hung his head a bit lower, letting out a quiet: Tell me when you're done dressing.

And so Sanji did. Now dry and waiting for the rain, they both stood awkwardly in Zoro's room.

Sanji: You never told me you lived this far from my house.

Zoro: You never asked.

Sanji: Well, I thought we were friends, that's what friends do, we tell each other things.

Zoro: Are we friends?

Sanji tried not to show how much that hurt him. He started looking at things around the room to distract himself: Oh, you got a nice setup, got any games?

He was pointing at the computer on his desk.

Zoro: Not a lot. I mostly just let Perona play those pink princess games.

Sanji, muttering under his breath: I didn't know you had a sister either...

Zoro: What was that?

Sanji: I said I expected something weirder, haha...

After a little pause, Sanji decided that he needed to say it now, or else he'd never have the courage to.

Sanji: I want us to be.

Zoro: What...?

Sanji: Friends. You asked if we were friends, I want us to be.

Zoro sneered: Why? I'm gonna kill you, remember?

Sanji: Because you're annoying. And because you chew so loud I can hear you from across the room -

Zoro: what are you-

Sanji: Because you're dumb and obnoxious and pick fights with me for no reason-

Zoro: Hey, I-

Sanji, still not listening: and because you're funny and fun to be around, and because you're hardworking and you keep me company even when I don't want it, and because I think it's so unfair that all the girls in class like you, because you're actually kind of handsome, and your skin is always clean, like how is it so clean? and you're so mean and rude and when I ask for a favor you always say no but still do it and-

Sanji finally stopped to take a breath. He realized what he was saying.

Sanji:... shit.

Zoro was looking at him in shock: I... half of that stuff was terrible.

He laughed.

Sanji started feeling his face burn up. He covered it with his hands and hunched over in hopes of making himself smaller. He felt one of Zoro's hands on his, trying to peel it away.

Zoro: Hey- wait, foes that mean that you-

Sanji: No, shut up, don't say it!

Zoro, gasping: You do! You like me too!

He tried pulling Sanji's hands away from his face again, the same time when Sanji decided to put them down and turn to him.

Sanji: Wait, you-

The suddenness of Zoro's pull and the Sanji's motion shortened their distance and Sanji's sentence was cut off by the pair of lips crashing into his.

Sanji backed away: Idiot!

then in a quieter, still angry voice, he continued: That- that was my first kiss!

Zoro saw how upset Sanji was by the thought of having his first kiss with him and his mood soured.

Zoro muttered under his nose: Well it was mine too...

A rush of panic ran through Sanji because... why was Zoro's pouting kind of cute? How could he find Zoro of all people cute???

Sanji slapped both hands on either side of Zoro's face and pulled him in for a second kiss. But he got a bit too excited and it turned out to become more of a headbutt than a kiss.

They both pulled away grabbing their foreheads.

Sanji: Ow!

Zoro: Curly! What the-

A little gasp made their heads snap. Perona was at the door, hands on her mouth in dramatic shock.

Zoro stood up: I told you not to come in, damn it!

She giggled and ran away. Zoro followed her and Sanji followed Zoro. He bumped into Zoro after his abrupt halt. He looked up and it was a man with facial hair and a wine glass in hand. Sanji assumed it was Zoro's dad.

Mihawk: Your mom's here to pick you up.

He took a sip.

Sanji was a bit surprised: Oh!... right. Okay.

He went home, and the whole time he couldn't stop thinking about what happened.

The next few weeks there was a big festival their school was preparing for and Sanji and Zoro could never get enough alone time to talk about what happened. All they did was help out their class and then the whole friend group would crash at Sanji's place to try and do more work, but they all just ended up goofing off or watching a movie.

They were in charge of making props for the drama club and different signs, for the maze, for different prizes, for the kissing booth, and other things. In reality, Usopp and Robin were the ones who drew all the signs, while Zoro and Sanji cut them out. Franky glued them, which was the easiest part in Sanji's opinion and he was extremely jealous. But then again, Nami told everyone what to do, so he couldn't possibly complain. Well... he could complain that Luffy never did anything, but that was Luffy after all.

Sanji tried talking to Zoro a couple of times but the first time, a dog that Luffy snuck into the house almost ate all their shoes and they had to chase it around all day. Then he tried again but Nami scolded them for slacking off and sat between them to make sure there was no irrelevant chit-chat. Then he tried again but Usopp accidentally glued his hands together with Franky's super glue and they had to drive him to the hospital because they all panicked and didn't know what to do.

One day Sanji decided he had enough. Upon everyone walking into the house, he grabbed Zoro and dragged him upstairs as fast as possible, hoping no one saw them (and hoping Usopp would cover for them if anyone started suspecting anything).

He pushed him into his room and shut the door behind himself.

Zoro looked a bit startled and maybe even flustered: Wha- why, uh, what are we- uh... doing?

He smiled awkwardly.

Sanji: Not whatever you're thinking of, you pervert. I wanted to talk about that... um.. you know. What happened.

Zoro: You're one to call me a pervert!

Sanji, rolling his eyes: Not the point, marimo! I wanna know... um...

He felt like a frog was stuck in his throat. Zoro took a step towards him. It didn't help. Sanji kept looking at his lips and couldn't stop thinking about the kiss.

Sanji: Did you mean to... did you really want to kiss me?

Zoro: Yes

Sanji: So what? You like me?

Zoro: Yes

Sanji, startled how honest and quick the answer was: o- oh... w- well too bad both our first two kisses were so horrible then...

Zoro taking another step closer: You know what they say, third one's the charm...

Sanji: You and your three's...

They were just about to close the distance between each other when the door opened and Sanji quickly jumped behind the door. It was Reiju, she looked at Zoro, around and then at Zoro again.

Reiju: Have you seen Sanji?

Zoro, panicking: Shitty brows? Nope, He's probably in the toilet or something...

Reiju, giving him a disbelieving look, but smiling anyway: Well, tell him Nami was looking for him when you see him. And be nice to him. He's developing a bit of a crush on you.

Zoro: Really, I had no idea.

Reiju: Yeah, boys never do.

And she left. This was the most embarrassing day of Sanji's life. He couldn't even look at Zoro after that. Sure, they held hands under the table for a bit before lunch, but he just couldn't look at him in the eyes. Zoro found it kind of funny, charming even.

The day of the festival was after a couple of days. They still had no time one-on-one, but it was a bit better.

But like all good things in Sanji's life, it never lasted long. It turned out that by popular demand, Zoro and some other guy were chosen to be the ones at the kissing booth. Sanji knew he shouldn't feel as bad as he was. He finally came to terms with the fact that he might have feelings for his classmate and maybe it was even reciprocal. But this just felt like the rug was pulled from under him. It wasn't like they were together, but when the class president announced this, he couldn't help but ask to be excused. He ran to the toilets and started balling his eyes out.

He heard the door of the bathroom swing open and he instinctively put his feet up, scared that someone would see or hear him. It was even worse when he heard Zoro's voice call for him, he almost let out a squeak. He's never heard Zoro sound so scared and worried.

Zoro: Cook? Are you here? I'll try to talk to them to replace me.

A silence that did nothing to soothe Sanji ensued.

Zoro continued, his voice was now closer: Please Sanji, come out...

The cook's heart was going to jump out at the mention of his name. Zoro rarely used his name, if ever. But the moment the thought of unlocking the door crossed his mind, someone came to fetch Zoro and practically dragged him out.

Sanji was feeling unwell. He wanted to go home.

Upon walking back to his house, Sanji threw his backpack on his chair and collapsed on the bed. He didn't even have the energy to cry anymore.

Reiju came to his room, tried to talk to him, see what was wrong but he didn't utter a single word. At some point, something must have happened because Sora called for Sanji, but Reiju told him to stay and that she'd see what their mother needed.

It was raining outside. Sanji noticed when the sound of thunder startled him. There must have been a window or a door open because it was unexpectedly loud. For a second he thought he heard Zoro's voice arguing with his sister. But there was no way that was the case. Maybe it was just the rain and exhaustion. He drifted into sleep.

On the day of the festival, Sanji was at the booth, celling tickets. They figured people would pay more money if they didn't see their spending as actual money but in the form of tickets. "Like in a casino", Nami had said. People would buy tickets from desks like the one Sanji was at and then pay with the tickets for various attractions, food, or entertainment. At one point Franky came to take his place for a bit. He told him to go have fun because he knew how much it sucked being stuck in one place while everyone else was running about. Sanji didn't feel like having "fun" but Franky insisted. So he didn't really have any choice but to listen to his upperclassman.

He started walking around, but nothing caught his eye. He had a couple of tickets that Franky gave him, "free of charge" he said, but Sanji was sure that was just another way to call "stealing".

He got caught by some of his underclassmen, who insisted he bought something from their stand. He really wanted to say no, but they had those puppy eyes that he didn't have the heart to say no. He kept walking, realizing he still has ten to twenty minutes before Franky lets him go back to his post and he had no more tickets.

He started walking around, being sure there was another ticket booth around here somewhere. But where?

Finally, he saw a booth from behind with a big line in front of it. It must be the ticket booth - they were always packed, especially near the entrances. He walked to the front, just to see that it was not a ticket booth, in fact, it was the very thing he was trying to avoid - the kissing booth. He reflexively cringed, seeing the boy Zoro was supposed to be with on shift. Still, the impulse to look at the other kissing booth next to him was too great. With great fear his eyes shifted to see an unfamiliar face.

... It wasn't Zoro.

The other person wasn't Zoro.

Where the hell was Zoro then? What was going on?

A distant "Sanji!" sounded. Sanji looked around to see who it was but didn't see anyone. Then he heard it again "Sanjiiii!" Sanji turned his head, looking up at an open window where Zoro was shouting at him. The moment their eyes met, the world stopped. Zoro put both feet on the edge of the window and got ready to jump into the tree right next to it.

Sanji: Idiot! STOP!

Zoro, ignoring everyone around him (including Sanji), who were screaming at him not to do it, jumped, broke a couple of branches, and fell on his ass with a couple of bruises. Sanji ran to him. Zoro stood up grunting in pain.

Sanji: Moron! Why would you do that?!

Zoro: You were avoiding me! I looked for you everywhere, I couldn't let you run again.

Sanji: What are you tlaking about, I've been at the ticket booth all this time.

Zoro: ... really? Wait- no, never mind that. I wanted to tell you that I really like you!

Sanji, not knowing whether to be embarrassed because he was being confessed to by his crus, or being embarrassed because he was doing it in public so loudly: what!!!???

Zoro: I have for a while now, I don't want to ever kiss anyone other than you! And I never will! Even when we get old and wrinkly like Mr Brook!

Sanji: Don't say that kind of thing so loud I-... don't tell me you said that to the class president.

Zoro: I dind't.

Sanji, sighing in relief: Ok...

Zoro: I told the whole class after you left.

Sanji: WHAT?!

Zoro: I told them to find someone else because I'll never kiss anyone other than you. I want to be yours only.

Sanji felt like crying again. He couldn't ever describe the hoops Zoro made his heart jump though. Sanji, disregarding all the eyes that were on them at that moment, hugged Zoro tightly.

Sanji: You're such an idiot... And in a small voice he added ...But you're my idiot

disclaimer: don't jump out of windows pls

#zosan #zoro x sanji #sanji x zoro #high school au #this took me way too long idk I wrote half of it and then dropped it fsr #and i had no idea where i was going with it at one point #i think it became a bit too cheesy tho ngl :((#op

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itsmelb · 8 months

Text

I finally made it - after I spoiled myself in my work break a little bit, I barely made it till the end! - but now I watched Ep 3 of Only friends - and witnessed acting greatness and also a Barbenheimer happening.

So let's dig (ck - yes u Boston!) In:

Mew: I have still zero clue about him tbh. He might be fucked up differently I guessed multiple times. Is he innocence or is he a mess? He kissed Ray some time 2 years ago apparent? Was he drunk? Lot of questions! Books acting is so great shit...

Top: Force did such an amazing job it's so good. I really was (am???) so fond of the way Top is with Mew. He asks for consent, he let's him be (till Ton makes his moves...)...but he has that thing going on with Sand somehow? (Next Ep will be crazy omg - that Middle finger haha I loved that sm) also Top is so naive to believe a single shit Ton says? God. (The car scene alone had so many emotions in forces face...I can't with him. I love to hate him bc he just did that and we all know sb like him..I do..poor lost soul)

Ray: Khao is making him so desperately insecure and sexy and annoying and also lonely boy vibes with those big puppy eyes god man. Not just Sand is amazed (or what ever u may call it). All his scenes give me those vibes that when u in his hands u never get out alive...except Mew has him in his hands...man that's all so fucked up lol

Sand: I love how First plays him. I love his bratty attitude and the way he trys to life through his shit. Also his style love that (succer for band shirts urg) also he has that blanc space I can not fill for now. Either he is a trickster of his own or he is also a lonely puppy. The way Ray convinces him so easily..We will see...

Boston: he is a mess. An absolut ass. He makes his plans and executes them with no mercy. In his favour obv. He tells Ray to confess to Mew, gets Top to fuck him (he never bottom?? Is that the reason he likes Top?? Was he his first? Omg??) and tells Nick he hates drama just that he stays in line?? Oh my god. So fucked up. What a performance of Neo! Shit he does have chemistry with everyone?? My god I love to hate Ton but Neo has my heart really. This is amazing.

Nick: oh my boy. The twitter thing was so good. He is so naive..but as I blogged earlier..Nick put that voice record thing in Tons car, he connected the dots with the friends really fast and now he sees the truth of Boston...I am excited for his revenge, that will bring mess to everyone (because he tells Sand??? Shit even better) and also will fuck up Ton so much (deserved) that he will have nobody left (wild guess..) I am so excited for Mark to play this u don't know how much..

Preview Ep 4: My god. How fucked up will it be?? Aaaah we are only in ep 4 next week (Books fav ep to look forward to)???? And it's such a mess. (I AM SO HERE FOR IT THAT IT MESSES WITH MY SANITY HAHA)

And that brings me to my personal Barbenheimer moment:

Barbie (after G4 concert snippets)

Oppenheimer (after OF)

And that was my Saturday! Well thank u, bye 😁😇😝😈

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deathxwalkerxx · 2 years

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I’ll See You Again

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, talks of dying. Very crappy letters.

Summary: You were in love once, and then the love of your life disappears. Will you see her again, or is it too late?

A/N: @mrsrushman @bliam-fortuna @neverylee Idk if you guys still wanna be tagged but let me know!! Also this a little bit longer, I apologize.

part 4

Day 1

Hey, curls. So you weren’t in school today. Maybe it’s my fault that I don’t know where you live. I probably should have asked where you lived, or even offered to come to your place rather than us always going to mine. This clearly makes me a bad girlfriend. I do hope you’re okay though and I missed you in class. You didn’t miss much. Lunch was pretty much the same, but I didn’t have you there with me, to chill with and make fun of the bullies that seemed to be growing each day. It’s weird how bullies can make friends, don’t you think? Why couldn’t they bully each other? Wimps are what they are right? I’m not used to writing letters, and I don’t know where to send this one from. Hopefully though you come back tomorrow and I can give it to you! Be cute, if we wrote each other letters right?

Love you.

See you tomorrow,

Yours always, Y/N.

Day 15

Hey you. So. Where are you, Curls? It’s been fifteen days since I’ve last seen you. No one knows where you are, no one is telling me anything! You can’t have just vanished right? I keep checking the news thinking maybe someone has taken you, but after seeing what you did with father, I don’t think anyone could just take you off the street. So what happened? I don’t even know why I’m asking in these letters that I’ve written, they’re just being placed in a box hoping that when I do see you next, you could read them and answer the question that I have asked! I miss you, Nat. I’m starting to think going to school is just me hoping I’d see you outside the gates where you usually wait for me to show up. I’m starting to forget what you looked like. We should have totally taken pictures together. So I have at least something to remember that you were here.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll see you.

Love you always.

Yours forever, Y/N.

Day 30

Hey. So. I’m not where I used to live. I left my father, and I think you should be proud of me for that. If you even knew about it of course. I’m just writing these letters now I guess to keep my own sanity. I miss you, Natasha. I don’t know what happened to you, and I keep having nightmares of something bad happening to you. Why haven’t you tried to get a hold of me? To let me know that you’re okay? We have our own secret spots you know? I’m tired, so I’ll write you a letter another time. Take care of yourself. Bye.

Love you.

Day 55

It’s our anniversary.

Natasha couldn’t get through all of your letters. As much as Wanda wanted her to, she just couldn’t. She could see the pen was wobbly as you continued to write them, could see that you barely said anything anymore in the letters. Usually it was just a ‘hi’ or you just wrote out ‘i love you’ but that was it. You told her that you got a job in one of them, telling her how much you hated it, people groping you as you walked past them. You talked about how cold your place was, and that you thought Natasha would hate it, and would try to put some color in it. Never once did you mention your illness in these letters. You wouldn’t even let her know in the letters? Natasha’s eyes met Wanda’s, as she was sitting across from her, reading the letters that Natasha had finished with. “Why did you want me to read these? It doesn’t give me anything.” Natasha says and Wanda was sighing, before bringing the box closer to her, so she could go through the letters and pull one out, to hand over to Natasha.

“If you don’t want to read all of them then fine. But read this one. And then tell me you still want to help her.” Wanda says which has Natasha frowning. Why wouldn’t she want to help you? What could you possibly have written that would have her not wanting to continue to save you? Her hands weren’t shaky as she took the letter from Wanda, though on the inside she was definitely shaking. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she opened up the letter. This one didn’t even have a date on it.

Dear Natasha.

Hey you. I know now that these letters aren’t getting to you, but on the off chance that maybe one day they will find you, or perhaps we find each other, I need to say a few things. Don’t save me, Natasha. I know you’d want to, and I understand where you’re coming from. I’d want to do everything in my power to save you. But if you asked me not to, if you were completely done with your life and just wanted to move on. Then I’d accept it. I’d hate it but I’d accept it. I’m done, Curls. I can’t. I can’t keep going like this. I may never see you again, and I feel like if I did get the chance to see you… I know what the ending is going to be like. Even if you could save me. At the end of the day, I’d just die on you anyway.

You have to let me go, Natasha. This is my wish. Please.

Natasha once she finished reading that letter, she placed it on the table and shook her head. You didn’t even know if you’d see her again. How could you possibly ask this of her? Why would you ask this of her? How is this fair on Natasha? Didn’t she deserve to try and save you? To have the future you had talked about with her moments before? Didn’t you both deserve a chance? “She’s scared, Nat.” Wanda whispers, which has emerald hue snapping to the other redhead. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she shook her head. “I get that she’s scared. She’s dying, she has every right to be scared.” Natasha says, and it was Wanda’s turn to shake her head while she leaned on the table, a hand reaching to take Natasha’s in hers. “She’s not scared now. She’s scared for the future. If she survives through this, she’s going to wonder when the next time is coming. To Y/N. She thinks of this as her final destination. And if you find a way to save her, and find a loop. She’s going to think for the rest of her life that death is just now waiting around the corner.” Wanda explains to the ex assassin, hoping she would understand.

“I don’t care. I’d protect her from it, Wanda. I get that she’s been going through this by herself, but I’m here now, and I’m not about to let her die, or go through this alone.” Natasha says, and perhaps she should let you go, if that’s what you want, but Natasha didn’t think that’s what you really wanted. You wanted it now, because you are tired, and you just want this to end, but there was no way that she would let this end, not while she was here. She stood now, and Wanda watched her with a crease between her brow. She couldn’t figure out what she was doing, but she moved with Natasha, watching her going into the medbay where Bruce and Cho were. “I need your help.” Natasha says to the both of them, as she sat down on one of the beds looking at the both of them.

“Nat.” Wanda says, only to close her mouth when Natasha held up her hand, silencing her. Wanda knew not to get in the way when Natasha was on a mission. She was scary without a mission, she was terrifying with one. “Are you hurt?” Bruce asks Natasha who shook her head. “I have a friend, who’s sick, who’s dying. And I need your help to make sure that doesn’t happen.” She says as her eyes flick between Bruce and Cho, hoping they were taking this seriously. “What’s their condition?” Bruce asks, and Wanda watches as Natasha tenses at the question. She knew this was hard on the ex assassin, but she wasn’t sure if she should be doing this without at least talking to you first, considering Wanda knew your thoughts on this. “Her heart is failing her.” Natasha says to them, her eyes still flickering between the two. “She’ll have to go on a waiting list for a new heart.” Cho says before Natasha was shaking her head. “She doesn’t have a lot of time. Look I came to the both of you, because I know you’re the smartest doctors I know. So I’m sure you could come up with something for her. She’s here in the compound. So if you’d want to run some tests, or anything, I’ll go get her.”

Wanda heard these words and she couldn’t help but feel the anger slowly boiling in her veins. Natasha just offered you up as a test subject without even thinking about what you might want. She watches as Natasha leaves the medbay, and she follows suit, taking Natasha by the elbow. She leads her into Natasha’s room, because she also wanted to make sure you were okay. “You just offered Y/N up like she’s some sort of lab rat.” Wanda hisses under her breath, not wanting to wake you up. “It’s for her own good, Wanda. I know that she wants to do this her way, but I’m not going to let her go. I can’t let her go. She’s not the only one who lost someone that day, she’s not the only one who wants someone.” Natasha whispers, her voice cracking as much as she didn’t want it to, but she couldn’t help it.

“Don’t you think you should talk to her first? Before making these types of decisions for her? She has a right to put her say in this.” Wanda whispers, trying to get some sense into Natasha. “She made her right very clear, and it goes against what I’m trying to do for her.” Natasha whispers, before both of them tense up when a shaky groan escapes your lips. “I can’t hear what you’re saying, but I can hear you saying something.” You mumble out to the both of them, which had them walk closer to Natasha’s bed. “Natasha has decided to make you a lab rat.” Wanda says, not even thinking about sugar coating it. To her you had a right to know what Natasha was doing.

“A lab rat for what?” You ask as you slowly try to wake yourself up. You have a feeling you were way too tired to have this conversation right now. “To help you. I talked to Cho and Bruce to see if there is any way that I can help you get better.” Natasha says softly, as her hand pushes some of your hair off your face. “Why? I don’t. I’ve come to terms with what is happening with me, Natasha. I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do in my life. I have nothing else.” You say, as you watch Natasha shaking her head, you look to Wanda, asking in your mind if she could give you and Natasha a moment. You watch as she nods her head before leaving the room and then your attention goes back to Natasha.

“No. No. You don’t get to want to see me, and say that you’ve done everything in your life. When we haven’t even….” Her words trail off, and you were quick to sit up and pull her into your arms. “I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was for you to go through this with me, Natasha. I want to be here with you, I do. But I’ve accepted that I can’t. I don’t want you to get your hopes up, Curls. What happens if they can’t help me?” You ask her as your hand runs through her hair and then down her back. “I have to try. Can’t you just let me do that? Can’t you just help me try?” She whispers into your neck, breathing you in deeply. Your heart broke hearing her words, your breathing coming out shaky.

“I could never say no to you.” You whisper softly, your lips pressing to her hair, and you take a deep breath in, making you relax in her arms. “So you’ll do it? You’ll let them?” She asks, as she pulls back from you, though her arms still stay around you, doing her best to help you stay up right. “Yes. For you I’ll let them try.” You whisper, and your eyes close when you felt her lips on your forehead. “They can do the tests here, if you don’t like medbays.” She murmurs against your skin making you shiver and hold onto her tighter. “As long as you’re with me, I think I’ll be okay. When do they want to start?” You ask her, before Bruce was walking into the room now, making you both pull apart from each other. “Now would be a good start.”

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wandanat x reader

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gojosatorulover111 · 8 months

Text

EVERYONE IS WRONG

I have a bone to pick with everyone. Stsg shippers and people who do not ship them all need to take a chill pill at least with the arguments I am witnessing on Tiktok. Do people not realize that Gege Akutami probably wrote JJK so that the reader or watcher can decide their relationship? It is written so that you can interpret what the phrases they say mean. I don't hate the ship or anything but IT IS NOT CANON. Stop misusing the word. There is no definite, Gojo and Geto are not definitely straight nor are they definitely gay. No right or wrong opinion. And I especially hate it when people call anyone who doesn't support the ship homophobic. We do not need to throw that word around if someone doesn't ship two fictional characters but I admit there are a lot of homophobic people in the anime community. Anyway, I just want to conclude with stop forcing your beliefs on others because you are meant to choose for yourself. It doesn't matter what their relationship is because the characters are still soulmates. It isn't that deep. Bye :)

(Btw I actually like the ship but sometimes I don't ship them for my own mental health and sanity, the edits are literally so sad, this is only for toxic fans)

#jjk #satusugu #stsg #gojo satoru #suguru geto #jujustu kaisen

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yeetlegay · 2 years

Note

Hello hi it is I - Lestat. I live reacted in my notes during ep10 and now I'll share them with you.

I'd let Vegas sell me my own kidney

how tall is Vegas? i have a feeling he's shmol but has that big d energy. also not me asking this only in ep10, his big d energy was gashlighting me this entire time.

oh sweet jesus kimchay

kim has scar on his chin (why do we all have scars on our chins?)

Kim and Chay are each other's antidepressant

ex-a-cuse me? what the fuck?

ah, Kim superman is here to save the day god bless

well fuck

Kinn: Pete, what if they catch you? Pete: I might get tortured. 😏😏😏

I'm vibing with Vegas' fucked up statue of Mary, white skull, knives and an owl. The rest is… yeah.

Vegas has a hedgehog I am shooketh.

Ah, finally both of these bitches are wearing helmets.

Tawan escaped wow who is surprised? No one.

omt… oh my tawan… how can you make me hate you and be interested in you at the same time?

Porsche's veins tho

PERTH (ken) MY LOVE HELLO also I knew you were sus

I am wheezing and losing my sanity at the same time what is this scene between Tawan and Vegas hello excuse me but what

"bUt ThiS WaSn'T ThE FucKInG pLaN!" vegas go touch some grass pls

omkd… oh my kim daddy walking in like that with your slutty slutty sleeves cut off

Big spent his last breaths to make sure Porsche (and Tawan) know that Kinn LOVES Porsche and for that I respect him, his earrings and his hairstyle. A true legend and Kinnporsche advocate.

"VeGaS sAiD He lOVeS mE." go touch some grass Tawan, Vegas said a lot of things. Pathetic. Stupid lil idiot.

Uuu Vegas tiddies yes please.

Bye Tawan, rest in pieces.

Wait, I'll also smoke with you guys lemme find my lighter.

Ah, fuck, I'll smoke another one with you Kinn.

Ah, so now you won't smoke. Ffs.

Will Perth ever get happy ending in any of his dramas? (me who watched only Cutiepie and KP lol)

No, no, let Tankhun say what he has to say. He is the only one sane here. I know what I said.

Deutsche Bank thridwheeling again like: 😐🙄

VEGAS TIDDIES, LESTAT WE ARE IN AGREEMENT

Ty for sharing these unhinged observations, glad to have a fellow gremlin in the midst here 💕

#kinnporsche #yeetle asks #why don’t queue stay

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bunnyb34r · 4 years

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Me: we have to take separate cars to [racist family member]'s bc I cannot deal with his bullshit especially after the impeachment stuff

Mom: why? Lol

Me: because you're not gonna get up and leave when he starts and I will

Dad: "yeah I just remembered I have somewhere to be... anywhere but here"

#like for my own sanity i cannot do this shit anymore like yall are racist cowards and i hate you all. not as much as i hate tracy and her #pos husband but enough to never want to be near you again bye #marquilla #idc if yall rb this im just venting bc i nearly had a breakdown fighting with my parents ab tump and i wanted to say #he aint gonna fuck you bro. but instead i said 'hes not gonna do shit for you why are you up his ass?'

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captnjacksparrow · 2 years

Note

We know kishi messed up a lot during the war arc, but what do you think were the best and worst moments?

I think I can't able to answer this properly because most of the complaints from the Fandom were based on Power Scaling level and they were comparing it to DBZ.

Now.....

I've never read any Action Shonen other than Naruto... So, Personally as a neutral watcher... I have no problem in that power-scaling aspect... Or to be precise, I need the knowledge of other Shonen to compare and say what's wrong with Naruto.

Other than that, Kaguya nonsense is the absolute worst. Madara being the final Villain would've made it so enthralling... But since Boruto needed a plot thread, they introduced a villain with ugly design. Which is a given.

And some people say, Unnecessary flashbacks being introduced... Which I kinda agree. Like that flashback between Mifune and Hanzo is not at all needed... Kabuto's too.

And some people say, War needs Money and Man labour for Preparation, bla bla bla. Which is totally Hilarious, imo. Like Dude!!! Did Lord of the Rings or Avengers Infinity War had these kinda plots??? Didn't they just go to war without going into detail in any of these???

Why would they need these boring plot which has no relevance to Naruto anyway?? Fantasy Genre don't usually cover these aspects of war... If they want that, then they should go watch movies based on First and Second World war.

Other than that, rest of the complaints were based on their own Self-Projection or Prediction that didn't come true. Like hating Itachi + Sasuke arc because their UwU baby Sasuke got changed after listening to his Brother. Or Some people hate Tobito Reveal for genuine reasons.

So, I can't list out the worst things in War arc other than Kaguya plot.

As for the best things...

4. Madara - The Phenomena

Madara Toying with the Shinobi Alliance and The 5 Kages... 😂😂. [[Anime did a great job by adding these Amazing Jewel of a dance]]

Is there anything to not like this part of War Arc??? ((Tsunade, I am so sorry for liking him Toying with you and everyone... You are the Exception though, You truly stood up to him like a true Hokage... But I simply can't stop admiring his Aura))

3. Itachi - Sasuke arc...

Ever since Kabuto revealed that he was going to use Edo-Tensei on Itachi... I expected he would meet Sasuke again... But also, I knew that, this time for sure Sasuke has to say Good Bye for a Final Time...

Damn... I just couldn't. Poor Sasuke!!!

2. Tobito Reveal...

I was shell-shocked just like Kakashi. Because I got a mini-breakdown after Shippuden episode 120, an episode where Kid Obito died under the boulder saying, "I wish I could have more time with everyone"... I took a day off from my binge watch after this Flashback...

[[My reaction after realising Obito was Tobi]]

To think that such a pure bean has turned into a mass murderer is like a salted stab on my already damaged mind. Just when I was healing my mental wound I got from Itachi-Sasuke arc.... This reveal and Obito's descent into darkness sent me to a Rock Bottom Pit....

Just stop it already!!! Damn Kishimoto. I can't take it!!

1. Founders' Era Arc...

An Absolute stunner..

A Mental Refresher... After Back to back stabs... This Arc was much needed for my sanity...

Ever since, Sasuke-Sai Arc... I kept on hearing on and on about First Hokage and Madara.... Even Madara was pronouncing Hashi's name like a Cockatoo... My curiousity level got higher and higher by every episode.

But boy!!! It did deliver to the hype we received throughout the series...

I came into the series because of Hashirama and I ended up finding something which I wish it could've lasted longer...

I don't even want to come out of that Arc ((Hey Oro, If there's one thing you did useful in this series, it's by resurrecting these Hokages)).

Fun Fact : No one surpassed Madara in terms of his Power or Aura or Amount of Hair or Fame. Everyone became ugly, weak, bald and stupid.

I loved all these mini-arcs in the War Arc which absolved all the inconsistencies I saw towards the very end. Atleast this is what I felt as a neutral watcher with No Shounen Influence🤷🏻‍♀️

#madara #uchiha madara #sasuke #itachi #naruto #obito #kakashi #hashirama #tobirama #orochimaru #tsunade #hashimada

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flowered-mp3 · 3 years

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quick f___ - im changkyun

pairing: ex-boyfriend changkyun + female reader

genre: angsty (yet soft ?) post-break up drunk sex. lol that’s it.

word count: 1.7k+ (this was supposed to be a drabble lmfao flurry i am so sorry lol)

warnings: explicit sexual content, cursing, alcohol, very very VERY slight degradation, exhibitionism, unprotected sex

summary: you meet with your ex-boyfriend at a party, and you’re weak.

rating: 18+

author’s note: my first entry for @flurrys-creativity tipsy drabbles, based on this and the cocktail called quick f*** (literally not even kidding, this is a real drink)! uhm yes this was supposed to be a drabble but i couldn’t help myself and i was tipsy and i got carried away oops what’s new ok bye have fun

—

[library] [monsta x library] [tipsy drabbles masterlist]

—

You two, are absolutely out of it.

Absolutely fuckin’ out of it.

The amount of alcohol that you both consumed in combination at this party means that every rational thought is thrown out of the window, along with the ability to comprehend that sex with your ex-boyfriend is not socially acceptable in a public area.

You weren’t even supposed to be seen in the same room as Changkyun. You tasked your best friend before entering the party to enforce the rule you made for yourself, but clearly, her efforts are in vain. Regardless of the methods you used to avoid him for the night, you’re still unbelievably, undeniably drawn to him. Just by spotting him across the room, looking incredibly attractive with his dark hair tied up, denim shirt partially unbuttoned, metal frames, and fresh eyebrow piercing made you completely forget why you broke up with him in the first place.

You broke up with him because he was a distraction from your career, your life, and your family. His piercings, tattoos, and dark long hair clashes with your parent’s vision of an ideal son-in-law, and just the sight of him made your stomach churn in self-loathing.

It isn’t because you hate him. You loved him and still do, even after all this time. But the wound that was fresh began to fester. It was complete torture to witness Changkyun move on and live his life without you, when you’re plagued by thoughts of him every single waking second. It reminded you of the fact that you left him, it represented the fact that you chose pleasing your family over your own happiness with him. It made you feel like utter shit, all of your mistakes in the past being shoved back into your face to see. The entire situation emphasized that you’re the person agonized without his presence and his touch.

Unfortunately, you’re weak when it comes to him, and you know it. All it took was a touch on your arm and the sound of his low voice in your ear to get your fragile self-control to crumble away. All you’re left with was pure, unadulterated desire; a need to have him in your arms again.

Every step that you took with Changkyun chipped away at your self-restraint. But once he pulled you away from the crowd to the empty second floor and his mouth attached itself to your neck in the fragile safety of the empty hallway, you were gone.

That brings you to the present. You and Changkyun drunk out of your minds, his body enveloping yours as he fucks you with a vengeance against a wall. All you can make out is his face and his body against yours, one of your legs wrapped around his waist and the other perpendicular to the floor, foot jerking upwards with each delicious snap of his hips against yours. You try to maintain your sanity but it feels incredibly good to have him with you, to have him inside you after all this time, making the events of earlier fade into the background.

Changkyun is being noticeably rougher than other times that you’ve been with him, kisses sloppy, teeth biting marks into your neck and jaw as his nails dig into the flesh on your hips painfully. Pulling away from his lips, your hazy gaze meets his, Changkyun’s eyes exhibiting emotion that you didn’t expect. You didn’t think that he cared about you at all anymore, judging by his demeanor a couple of hours ago. But underneath the fluttering eyelids and deep groans, he looks betrayed.

But before you can even comprehend what’s happening, he decides to drill into you harder. His thrusts are becoming so brutal that you jolt against the wall, hands shooting out behind you in an attempt to stabilize your body, tears beginning to bead up on your lash line.

It’s as if he’s punishing you for leaving him; for hurting him.

You can’t help but feel like you deserve it.

You want so badly to apologize to him; to say that you’re tortured without him; to say that you’re sorry that you chose good faith with your family over him, even when you know that he’s a great man capable of what your family believes that he lacks.

You love him so much, and you’re going to show it.

Grasping his jaw with your palms, your eyes stare into his with as much affection as you can possibly muster at the moment.

“I love you,” you whisper, so quiet that Changkyun can barely make your voice out over the blaring music on the first floor. He moans throatily in response before crashing his lips against yours fervently, coaxing your mouth open with a slide of his tongue. You wrap your arms around his neck as you kiss each other frantically, your movement making Changkyun press your back into the wall harder. Pulling away from your lips, he halts his movements to rest his forehead against the wall beside your head, overwhelmed by your confession. You’ve said it before, but the fact that you still love him after all this time apart makes him shudder, his heart beating out of his chest as he’s overcome with emotion.

“Say it again,” he demands before a hand leaves your waist, reaching between your legs to rub small, quick circles on your clit, slamming his cock back inside your wet entrance unceremoniously. In no time, he resumes his previous momentum, your hands clawing at the tattoo on his back you’ve always loved.

“I love you… Oh my God, Fuck me-” you moan incoherently, forgetting that the crowd of people downstairs could hear you if you get too loud. A guttural groan manages to sneak out of his mouth at your repeated admission, his lips moving to brush against the base of your throat, licking a long patch of skin there, huffing out pants and muffled sounds of pleasure.

You’re trying your best to remain as quiet as you possibly can, but you’re drunk and he’s making it ridiculously hard.

Changkyun is relentless, his fingers continuing to move on your clit as the other squeezes your ass, rocking your body even harder against the wall. He relishes in the weak, muffled cries escaping your lips, canting your hips against his own desperately.

Whispering heatedly into the air, you tell him how much you miss him, how much you need him, repeating how much you love him. Changkyun swallows your confessions with a searing, impassioned kiss, showing you in his own way that he reciprocates those feelings with the same intensity.

Unbeknownst to you, someone decides to use the spare bathroom on the same floor that you’re on. You don’t hear them come up, but Changkyun does, the hand on your ass leaving to slap over your mouth to keep you silent. You expect him to completely stop, wait for the stranger to go back to the party, then resume. But to your shock, he continues fucking into you with the same ferocity and vigor, a lewd, wet slapping sound echoing in your ears.

You end up slamming the back of your head against the wall behind you, biting your lip and muffling your moans against his palm. There’s an increased chance of a random person stumbling upon you two, but it gives you a rush that Changkyun already knows of.

You don’t even care at this point and it seems like he doesn’t either, judging by how loud you’re both becoming, regardless of the efforts that are being made. Ignoring the presence of the stranger, he decides to throw caution to the wind, fueled by the alcohol pumping throughout his body.

“Hm… You like that someone can hear us, huh?” Changkyun teases after removing his hand from your mouth, grabbing your jaw roughly, “Such a fuckin’ slut,” he growls hotly.

He clearly remembers all of the pet names to use; all the buttons to press in order to have you fall apart. It gifts him a high-pitched whine leaving your mouth, the tip of his cock pressing deep inside your core.

“Only for you,” you slur, barely managing to respond through the moans escaping your lips. Changkyun groans deeply, a lascivious, possessive satisfaction washing over him at your response. Combined with his fingers working on your clit, it makes you tremble underneath him, walls pulsing around his length, your leg beginning to shake in an effort to keep yourself upright. Luckily, he seems to understand that you’re getting tired, so he loops his arm around your leg, keeping you from slumping onto the floor.

“Close, baby?” he rasps lowly, making you shiver at his usage of a pet name that you haven’t heard in a while. Nodding dumbly, your mind becomes increasingly delirious by the second, eyes glassed over as you grasp at his bicep for purchase.

Wanting to get you there before he does, his thrusts get nearly animalistic. Finally, you fall apart in his arms, moaning wantonly as you come with an intensity that makes your thighs shake. You roll your eyes into the back of your head before closing them tightly, clamping down on his cock in such a way that makes Changkyun lose it completely.

He mumbles both dirty and affectionate phrases into your ear as he comes inside you, spurting inside you violently as his hips twitch against you. Dropping your leg from around his waist, Changkyun wraps his arms around your torso to pull you in for a breathless kiss. Your hands leave his bicep to brace yourself against his firm chest, fingers threading into his hair to deepen it, moaning contently against his mouth. You whine in disappointment when he pulls away, a trail of saliva connecting your tongues filthily.

“I love you too. Always have,” he admits, breath fanning over your lips softly, “And that isn’t the whiskey talking,” he adds, a gentle smile spreading on his face when he spots your facial expression, eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

You’re surprised that Changkyun’s disposition makes an entire 180 from before, the punishing grip on your waist loosening to a soft caress as his nose nuzzles against yours tenderly. It comforts you though, finally feeling brave enough to apologize to him, no longer afraid of the backlash that you could receive from him.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t choose you,” you apologize to him, eyes boring into his to hopefully convey your sincerity. Luckily, he brings you in for a gentle embrace, kissing your temple tenderly, not even bothering to adjust your clothing.

Regardless of what happened in the past, it looks like you two are going to be ok.

—

if you would like to be added to my tag list, please send me an ask! don’t forget to like and reblog if you enjoy my work. thank you!

- yue <3

—

#tw degradation #monsta x #monsta x changkyun #monsta x i.m #monsta x story #monsta x smut #monsta x imagine #monsta x scenario #changkyun smut #im changkyun smut #kpop smut #monsta x writing #mx #myworks:quickfuck #tw alcohol

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sylverstorms · 3 years

Text

Cassandra x Maiden----Anonymity Ch.3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Your quiet days in castle Dimitrescu met their end the moment Cassandra took an interest in you.

You should have known. Perhaps you did know and just didn’t want to admit it.

The woman –vampire, mutant, what even are they— is a bipolar sadist.

One night she may be walking down the halls sending you a sexy wink under her hood as she passes you by, the next she could show up out of nowhere and cut you ‘hello’ with her sickle, scoop up the blood with her thumb to taste, then disappear again. The evening after that, she may not even give a damn about you, may not spare you a single fleeting glance, like even the notion you could be worth her time is laughable.

And it is, isn’t it.

Humans are nothing to them. Your significance is below that of a pet. You may as well be livestock. It doesn’t matter, though, so long as you continue to breathe and remain intact. They’re the two essential factors to escaping. All else is secondary.

It doesn’t matter how Cassandra views you.

You don’t even like her.

What is there to even be drawn to? She’s covered in blood more often than not. The scent of iron usually drowns out her perfume. She’s capricious and cruel and the living personification of an unsheathed knife. You prefer your routes safer. Playful, creative pretty girls that are good for you and most importantly, sane.

Whatever weird tricks your brain and hormones are playing where she stars –you hate it, what is wrong with you— they’re just delusions, you reason, born from her questionable flirting and your time in captivity. It’s just a really bothersome case of Stockholm Syndrome you’re developing. And it has to stop.

Another week passes. You don’t see her.

You are on another night shift when you hear the telltale buzzing of insects down the corridor. Hervoice reaches your ear afterwards;

“Ugh, Bela, you never complain about anything. It’s so annoying.” Two pairs of heels steadily tap towards you.

“I leave it to you and Dani to cover for me, since you complain about everything.” The quieter sister drawls. You can easily picture her roll her eyes as she says it.

“You know, you really should sound more thankful I came with you in this unearthly cold.”

“I gave you the option not to—”

“Just to have you rummage through that bookshop for what was definitely the most boring twenty minutes of my life.” Cassandra continues.

From the fleeting glance you steal at them, the entirety of her attention is on Bela. You don’t think she’ll notice you as you continue polishing the corridor’s decorations. It’s just another one of these nights where you don’t exist and you’re deeply glad for it. Not just for yourself, but also the other maids.

“I thought I was going to die of frostbite.” she growls, shaking the elder sister’s arm.

“Technically, you can’t.” Bela shakes hers back.

It would be… cute, if they were any normal family. But you are quick to remind yourself of what they really are. Devils in human form. Monsters that took you from your home and trapped you here, to clean after their mess, with the threat of death looming over your head every second.

Their steps pass you by. You can almost breathe normally again, when—

Cassandra stops.

“Not even going to tell me hello?” The hurt in her voice can’t be genuine, you tell yourself as you turn around to face her. She’s closer than you thought, enough for you to be able to make out the tiny melting snowflakes caught in her long lashes.

“Um—hello.” you say, awkwardly.

“Cassandra.” Bela lets out a soft sigh.

“Bye, Bela.” The brunette pointedly speaks over her shoulder.

And to your horror… “Just keep in mind what mother said about the maids.” the eldest sister leaves you alone with her.

Each further step until the blonde disappears from view fills you with dread. Cassandra has that spark in her eye that you’ve learned to not associate with anything good. She’s completely still until she’s sure the two of you won’t be overheard or interrupted.

Then, she moves.

Her hands all too easily shove you against the wall. It’s more startling than painful, you realize, when your back doesn’t protest much at the collision.

Cassandra maintains eye contact with you as she tugs at the fingers of her gloves. You cannot fathom why it looks that sexy, the way she pulls them off, whether it is intentional or not.

“Plaything.” she says. Another new nickname for you. Not that you ever expected her to care to know your name. “I’m terribly cold.” she doesn’t seem to be lying, though the soft pout that curves her mouth is surely for effect.

It’s a test and your wellbeing depends on it.

Only, you have no idea what you’re supposed to do. Ruling your nerves under control, you decide to start slow. “Shall I light the fireplace in your room, my lady?”

“Maybe I want something more… immediate.” she replies, raising her hand to your neck.

The second her freezing skin touches your flesh, you cannot help but flinch. It feels like a slightly softer block of ice. Cassandra’s eyes creak at the corners. Of course, the sadist is enjoying your torment. Slowly, her fingers move under the collar of your black button-up shirt, which only makes it worse. The cold spreads, a peculiar tingle at your stomach with it.

“Well?” she asks. You get the memo that just sitting back and letting her have her way isn’t going to work, this time. You call upon all the willpower you possess and act.

Carefully, your hands rise to meet her own. You aren’t looking at her in the eyes –you don’t think you could— as your fingers wrap around hers and bring them in front of you, close to your body, warmed from hours of work. Instead, your gaze locks on the golden jewel decorating the chocker at her throat, before falling down, to your point of contact.

It is not the first time you see her hands without gloves on, but it only now hits you just how dainty they look. Her nails, filed round, are dyed a darker shade of crimson, stark against the white of her skin. There isn’t a single blemish or uneven spot you can feel on her palm. It is a princess’ hand you seem to be holding, not a killer’s.

But appearances can be deceiving.

The very corner of Cassandra’s lip curls up, amused or pleased or both. She then reaches forward, at the lowest clasped button of your shirt… and frees it open. You’re sure you aren’t breathing. Two more buttons are released. Her fingers, at least now considerably warmer, splay against your stomach. Something inside you quivers like a flickering candlefire.

You don’t want her touch.

But a traitorous, weak part of you has already decided that it does.

“You work out?” it is merely a whisper between you. She presses a little closer, entirely unashamed to be feeling the contours of your middle up while you’re burning with embarrassment.

“…probably the days of working in the fields.” you say, voice low because it cannot be trusted any higher. She’s doing a little thing with her thumb over your skin that you desperately want to deny turns you on.

Thanks to her you’re now freezing and burning at the same time.

Cassandra just stays like that for a few more seconds.

“Draw me a hot bath.” she eventually orders and extracts herself from you as if she’s not remotely happy with her own decision.

You don’t really know how she likes her bath and she doesn’t tell you.

All you can do as you test the water on your hand is pray. Your mind isn’t really working right after the touching at the hallway, but your survival instincts are strong still. Strong enough to remind you that Cassandra likes to be treated like royalty above all, so bubbles are your best friend in this. The more, the merrier.

The Dimitrescu daughter does not ask if the bath is ready when she comes in. You aren’t used to her being so silent, so you turn to see if something is wrong –but immediately regret it when the heavy robe clinging to her body drops down. The only glimpse you catch is of the fabric pooling at her feet like a shadow.

Your eyes stay glued on the queen-sized bathtub, even when she approaches. They turn to the side as she enters it.

You want to ask if the water is fine, but you can’t find your voice. You lose even your train of thought when she lets out a small hiss as she sinks in, replaced by a moan once she’s completely settled back, neck tilted and eyes closed in bliss. The polite thing is to let her bathe in peace, so you move to do just that.

Cassandra has other plans.

Her hand shoots out of the tub to wrap around your wrist, inescapable as an iron shackle. Those intense yellowish eyes are on you again and they seem to be glowing under the dim lights.

“No.” she says. “Massage. Now.”

Ah, great. You think. You’ve spoiled her. But if giving Cassandra massages is what is going to keep your hands attached to your body, you won’t complain. It’s just that… you can’t really focus right now. None of your thoughts are right or remotely what they should be. You need time off from her, rather than touching her.

Thankfully, the moans are kept to a minimum and there is no teasing. She is utterly relaxed, only giving the occasional command for higher or lower. It does kind of kill you when at one point she whispers “Right there.” but you are able to move past it.

You leave fresh towels beside her when you’re finally allowed to leave. Back in her bedroom, you light the fireplace in a way that you make sure will last through the day, while she’ll be asleep. The plan is to leave before she returns, but she’s already there by the time you’re finished with the preparations.

And –you’re trapped.

Because, again, she’s changing and you have to look away to preserve your sanity and probably your eyes. “No peeping, now.” she calls over her shoulder. You know better than to dare.

You keep your hands busy arranging bottles and boxes at her vanity until she’s done. Cassandra does that ‘flashing’ thing where she’s on one side of the room one moment and right behind you the next. You only then notice a little insect flying back into her form. It was spying on you.

“You didn’t even look near me, huh.” she says it like ‘congratulations, you passed’, but there’s a bitter undertone of disappointment in her voice.

She’s only feeling down that you didn’t give her an excuse to slice at your face, you think. Then again, does she really need one?

“I wouldn’t, my lady.” you assure. “If I may be excused—”

“Did I say you can go?” she turns you around, none-too-gently, her hands on your biceps tight. You’re effectively pinned against her and the vanity, but you have much bigger problems to worry about, when you take in what she’s wearing.

Cassandra is clad in a flimsy nightrobe that leaves little to the imagination, the fabric nearly see-through. You can see the edges of her lacy underwear underneath it, how nicely it sits against her perfect curves. To make matters even worse, the robe ends at about mid-thigh and your eye catches the expanse of creamy skin on display.

Your brain nearly melts.

“I don’t know what it is about you, plaything, but you’re working up my appetite.” she confesses, pressing into you, pressing you harder into the furniture. You try to think of literally anything else than how well her thigh is slotted between your legs.

If you’re supposed to look away from her lidded eyes, however, you can’t. And if you’re not supposed to feel the echo of her nails on your arm all the way down to your center, you can’t. You are definitely not supposed to be so achingly curious about her bow-shaped lips. But you just can’t.

“You’re working me up.” she breathes, so close you can feel the ghost of her lower lip on yours.

And then –her mouth is on you and you forget how to breathe. Your eyes close and just feel, instead. If this is how you die, maybe it isn’t such a bad way to go. It’s been too long since you kissed anyone, seems like ages ago now, but you gradually remember how to move once you allow your muscles to unlock.

Not looking at her makes it easier. Her lips are balmy and smooth and slide so good on your own you can’t think at all, much less of what she’s capable of. You would have guessed her to be aggressive, but Cassandra is oddly hesitant, the only thing hard about her being her grip.

You’re not sure what you’re doing or how you get so bold, but your hands trail up to her waist and pull her in. The little hitch in her breath threatens to break you. It provides the perfect opening to part her lips with your tongue. As soon as it touches hers, she moans low in her throat and slowly drags her hips against your thigh.

Oh. God.

There’s a hollow ache in your stomach. You’re shamefully wet for her. The voice of reason is mute in your head, until you’re forced to break your liplock to breathe and it only then hits you what you’ve just done.

Cassandra’s lips are insistent on your jawline, on the vulnerable spot under your ear. Her open-mouthed kisses are just hard enough, at first, but then start to border on painful. Your heart skips a beat when you feel the press of teeth, yet she rips herself off of you before she bites down.

“Ugh. I’m… so thirsty.” she says it lightly, but her voice is hoarse and something about her body language gives you the impression she’s hurting. “You should leave. Fast.”

You almost make the mistake of reaching for her. Almost.

Cassandra turns away from the temptation of your veins.

For both your sakes –mostly for yours— you hurry out of her room and never stop to look back.

#cassandra dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu x oc #lady dimitrescu #resident evil village #fanfiction #she's so flirty in game I love her #playful vampire sadist princess of my heart #and Bela's just plain a boss and a bae too

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

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DIWK: Chapter eleven: "Can't get you off my mind"

|Word count: 9,7K

Summary: Reader struggles with her feelings for Spencer and tries to work with Seaver. Neither of those things works. Spencer's headaches are getting worse. Also, it's Anderson's birthday! Things are getting a little more complicated.

Warnings: Hardcore fools in love. It's getting painful to watch. Spoilers of Criminal Minds Season 6 Episode 11. 25 to life. Cursing, and frustration. Alcohol consumption. Assholes being blind.

A/N: Please don't hate me! but these two are just so blind, it hurts!

Masterlist

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Spencer's point of view

Psychotics in a break always evolve. Well, I was psychotic at that minute of my life, but the only things evolving were my migraines. They were driving me insane. I could feel them taking over my life, my head, my sanity. I could feel my good judgment slipping through my fingers every day, especially since (Y/N) had started acting strange.

It wasn't like she had stopped talking to me or hanging out with me. But I could feel a void growing between us every day. And it was driving me insane. I couldn't understand where it had come from. I just knew it was eating me alive.

Morgan was having a bad day. One really bad day. The man he had vouched for parole had just murdered a man after nearly 70 hours of freedom, and now the team was trying to solve the whole case. Don Sanderson claimed he had been framed guilty of the murder of his wife and baby daughter, but after 25 years in prison, the first thing he did as a free man was to murder someone else.

It made no sense.

We had visited the murder scene. Hotch was still on a leave, so it was just Prentiss, (Y/N), Morgan, Rossi, Seaver, and I. Emily was in full "training agent's duty," walking Seaver through every step of the procedure, which was very nice of her. It was her first case after the incident in New Mexico, and she was eager to do better work than that time. She was nearly jumping all over the place, taking notes.

I talked with Garcia on the phone because he was worried about Morgan, and then I walked to (Y/N), who kept a safe distance from Emily and Seaver.

- "The bullets were in the other room, but the gun is right here,"- I said as I looked around the room. (Y/N) turned to me, ready to speak her mind, but Ashley spoke first, which annoyed her beyond belief.

- "Maybe killing him was an accident."

I looked at my best friend as Prentiss and Ashley continued talking. She just crossed her arms and walked around the room. She surely wasn't dealing well with having Seaver around. I wanted to ask her something, anything, but nothing came to mind.

- "Sanderson was out of prison for what, Reid?"- I answered Emily's question but didn't even turn to look at her. My eyes were following (Y/N), moving around that room.

- "At the time of the murder, 51 hours."

- "He's free for 2 days and change? What's the big hurry to find this guy?"

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and stood next to (Y/N) as Prentiss and Ashley kept analyzing the scene.

- "Yeah, just tired."

- "Do you wanna have dinner with me tonight? I didn't see you this weekend, and I thought we could do a movie night."

(Y/N) took her time to answer, but finally, after a moment, she nodded and agreed.

- "Movie night sounds nice."

- "Great, ‘cos I rented your favorites."- I might have sounded more excited than I should, but I had really missed her those days, and I may or may not have watched and read Pride and Prejudice a couple of times.

- "Did you? Really?"

- "Yes, I was hoping to spend some time with you."

- "Are you coming, Spence?"- Seaver interrupted us and looked from the door- "Rossi called. They are interviewing Sanderson at the BAU."

- "Yeah, we are coming,"- I answered and looked away. (Y/N) shook her head and walked outside in silence the second Prentiss called my name, and I couldn't follow her. Which, I guess, was a good thing.

- "Is everything ok?"- Emily stayed behind with me. She raised an eyebrow, watching (Y/N) walking out of the room as Ashley waited for us by the door.

- "Yes?"- my answer came more as a question because I honestly didn't know what to say- "Everything is ok, Emily."

- "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the feeling (Y/N) isn't thrilled to have agent Seaver around."- I almost chuckled at her words and just nodded.

- "It's not like she has made it hard to tell. She literally yelled at her at the jet."

- "Is she mad at me because I am supervising her training?"

- "I don't know. I don't think so… she hasn't told me so. Well, she hasn't talked to me much lately."

- "Why? Did you fight?"- Prentiss wide opened her eyes and moved a little closer to me, trying to read my expressions.

- "No, I don't know what's going on. She just… we…"- I couldn't find the right words to explain my mind, and I think Prentiss knew it, ‘cos she didn't push me.

- "You should talk to her."

- "Yeah, we are going out tonight."

- "You have a date?"- Ashley walked over and asked me with a short smile. I cleared my throat and shook my head right away.

- "No, just meeting with a friend."

- "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to intrude,"- Seaver blushed and looked at her shoes. Prentiss smiled, probably reading something I wasn't seeing.

- "Come on, Rossi is probably waiting for us at the BAU, and I'm guessing Morgan is not in a good mood."

For the rest of the day, I tried to find a moment alone with (Y/N). I needed to talk about what was going on. But it was impossible. We worked late, rereading the original case files, trying to find something that might help us help Sanderson. But it was frustrating and nearly impossible.

So around nine, we decided to call it a day and go home.

- "Are you in the mood for Chinese?"- I looked at (Y/N), gathering all the things as I stood next to her desk- I thought maybe we could get some take-out from that place you love on our way home.

- "Sounds nice. What are we watching?"

- "Pride and Prejudice, Coraline, maybe Beetlejuice. You pick, I've got all your favorites,"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes, looking at me in silence- "What?"

- "So you rented movies ‘cos you wanted to hang out with me?"

- "Yes."

- "You usually don't rent movies. You rent documentaries."

- "Yes, but I wanted to do something different this time. I told you I missed you."

(Y/N) blushed as she stood in front of me, biting the inner part of her cheek, trying not to smile. I looked at her, nearly beaming, excited to see her reaction. I had felt so scared to lose her, feeling her pushing away from me. It was a balm watching her so happy, and just because I missed her.

- "I love Pride and Prejudice,"- Ashley said from her desk- "I've read that book so many times, I think I can recite it."

I looked at her and nodded with an awkward smile. I knew she was just trying to be nice ‘cos she was new at the BAU, and she was also trying to be nicer to (Y/N), to get on her good side. But that wasn't the way to get to her. Maybe I had to talk to Seaver and explain that my best friend is a special woman.

Neither of us answered her comment. We just stood there, looking at her in silence, until Anderson walked over and waved.

- "Hey agents, before you go, I wanted to tell you, this Friday I'm celebrating my birthday, and I'd love to have you over."

- "Of course, Sonny!"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and clapped. She had called him "Sonny" since they sang "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher in the karaoke at the Christmas party the year before.

- "Happy birthday, Anderson!"- Derek waved.

- "Thank you! We'll gather at a bar nearby. I'll text you the address."

- "We wouldn't miss it for the world,"- Prentiss added and smiled- "Do you mind if we tell JJ and Garcia?"

- "Please do! I haven't seen JJ since she left, and it would be amazing to have her over. You too, agent Seaver."

- "Thank you!"- Ashley smiled and nodded- "Count me in."

I could feel (Y/N)'s eyes rolling, annoyed, even when I wasn't even looking at her at that minute. I grabbed my bag and my coat and held her hand.

- "Bye, guys! See you tomorrow!"- that was all I said as I dragged her out of the bullpen. Emily waved at us, and Derek cut me an evil grin I could decode easily. I just ignored him and turned to the door.

- "Have fun, pretty girl!!"- Morgan chuckled at his own words, and (Y/N) just smiled and winked. Why? Probably to show him she didn't care about all his teasing, ‘cos nothing was ever going to happen between us.

(Y/N)'s point of view

It might have been childish, but I had to take advantage of Morgan's innuendo just to show Seaver things could happen between Spencer and me. It had been immature and silly, but I just felt like I needed to do it. It was like a stupid animal instinct that forced me to mark my territory.

I shouldn't have done it. Spencer wasn't mine. Not even close. And I had to stop being jealous of Seaver. If he didn't want me, he had the right to be with anyone else. But just the thought of Spencer being with someone, anyone, made me feel sick in my stomach. I hated being in love with him. I honestly did, ‘cos I didn't want to ruin our friendship with useless feelings. Spencer wasn't in love with me. He was just my friend. My very thoughtful, cute, adorable, and lovable best friend.

I was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. Even that second, sitting on that couch with Spencer, I couldn't focus on the movie. I pretended, but I didn't even pay attention to it. All I could think of was how warm his body felt sitting next to me, like a gigantic magnet that called for me. I could simply just move my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. Or lean in closer, rest my head on his shoulder, feel how he wraps an arm around me, and melt in his embrace, like I had done a million times before.

But I couldn't. I had to stop that daydream of a domestic and romantic life with Spencer. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't sane. But most of all: I wasn't real. And I was never going to move forward in life if I kept thinking those movie nights meant something.

- "More popcorn?- Spencer handed me the bowl, and I shook my head- "You have been awfully quiet considering we are watching Coraline."

- "Well, we are supposed to watch the movie in silence,"- I answered and didn't take my eyes from the screen.

- "You have never done that."

- "Maybe I wanted to give it a try."

I grabbed a bunch of popcorn just to keep myself busy. I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, and it was killing me ‘cos I knew I didn't have to look at him. If I did, I wasn't sure how I would react. I was overthinking everything and anything you might think of.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah. Sure."

No, I wasn't.

- "(Y/N), can you look at me?"- Spencer paused the movie and turned to me. I hesitated, thinking my best friend is an amazing profiler, and I didn't want him to know how I felt about him ‘cos it didn't want to ruin our friendship.

After a few seconds, I moved on the couch and raised an eyebrow. His brown eyes stared into mine in silence for a moment, trying to read me.

- "What is going on?"

- "Nothing,"- I lied and frowned- "Why are you so obsessed with the idea something is going on?"

- "‘Cos I have this… feeling."

- "You got a feeling?"- I chuckled, trying to be funny but failing completely. In the end, I just stared into his eyes for what seemed to be a million years but were, in fact, just a few seconds.

- "Are we ok?"

- "Of course, we are, Spencer."

- "You never call me that"- he frowned immediately, almost hurt.

- "What?"

- "You just call me Spencer when we are on a case, and there are people around us. But when we are home, I'm never Spencer to you."

"When we are home." That killed me. I hadn't realized how badly I wanted that to be our home, to have a life with Spencer.

I was in love with my best friend. I was spending every single hour of every single day of my life with him. That wasn't right! If I knew he didn't have feelings for me, why was I doing that to myself?

- "(Y/N)?"- Spencer's voice took me from my thoughts. He looked so worried I didn't know how to convince him there wasn't anything wrong, considering it felt like everything was wrong.

- "What is it?"

- "Please tell me what's wrong."

- "I told you, nothing is wrong. I just called you Spencer. That's your name. It's a lovely name. I had never met someone called Spencer ever before in my entire life. You just called me (Y/N), not pumpkin, cupcake, chipmunk, or ma chère,"- he sighed, frustrated and maybe a little annoyed.

- "Nothing is wrong, honey. I'm really ok. Just tired, maybe feeling a little invaded with Seaver in the team"- I knew he knew I hated her, so I had to blame her in a way.

- "Why?"

- "You know I'm not her fan... I hate working with her,"- I kind of chuckled at my own words because I was trying to make a joke out of my awful reality.

- "It's just for a few weeks,"- he tried to reassure me, probably to ease my mood, but the truth was I hated how it always felt like he was defending her.

- "One week, one day, it's the same torture,"- I shook my head and turned to the screen again.

- "Don't be dramatic."

- "I'm not dramatic! I just hate how she is always playing the victim ‘cos her father is a serial killer. She is clearly overcompensating! Besides, we have all gone through bad shit in our lives, and no one is using it as a tool to get things in life."

- "I don't think that's what she is doing."

- "No? Do you think she belongs at the BAU? She is a trainee agent who almost got killed in her first assignment. She works hard, and she is not stupid, I give you that. But she is not top of her class. She is not there ‘cos she is the brightest. She is there ‘cos Rossi, Hotch, and probably Prentiss felt bad for her after what happened and decided to let her hang around and learn something for a while. If you ask me, I think there are more qualified trainee agents we could use in the team, but Seaver played her "my father was a serial killer" card and got the job. And who knows how many times she had done it before, and how many times she will use it again."

Ok, that may or may not have been too hard, but it was exactly how I felt. There was a deep silence in Spencer's apartment. The movie was still paused, and after my speech, Spencer just looked at me with wide-opened eyes. I just sighed and regretted every word that had left my lips ‘cos they made me sound bitter and shallow. But at least they didn't tell him the truth: that I was jealous of the thought Seaver might get his attention. Scared that he could look at her the way he had never looked at me. Just to imagine I could bump into them kissing terrified me.

- "Maybe I should just go home,"- I whispered and tried to stand up, but Spencer grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto the couch.

- "No, please. Stay,"- his voice was a whisper but still managed to shake me.

- "I don't wanna argue with you, honey,"- I thought I would speak too loud, but no, I actually murmured, matching his tone of voice.

- "We don't have to talk about Seaver anymore. Just watch the movie with me. You love this movie."

- "You love this book,"- I added and looked at him. He smiled. God, that smile is going to be the end of me.

- "It's just so dark! But it has such a good message."

- "Not all nice people are good people?"- I just spoke about what the book had meant to me ever since I was a little girl, and Spencer analyzed the whole plot again in less than a minute.

- "I was going to say overcoming your fears, but I like your analysis the most."

- "Of course, you do, ‘cos it's better,"- I teased and stuck out my tongue to him. Spencer just stared at me and nodded.

- "You might be right. Yours is much better,"- he kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds and continued smiling until he snapped from his thoughts- "More tea, ma chère?"

- "No, honey, thank you. I'm good."

I cut him a quick smile and sat back on the couch, trying to relax. I knew it was going to be impossible, but I honestly didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with him. I had stayed home alone the whole weekend, hidden underneath a pile of blankets, in something that looked pretty much like a fort, according to Lu's words. She had stayed with me Saturday night ‘cos I told her I needed a girl's night. It was my poor attempt to stay away from Reid, and she was happy to help.

Ok, Lu didn't know I wanted to stay away from Reid. I just told her I needed a girl's night. I really didn't want to deal with all her questions. You have the right to avoid dealing with your feelings from time to time if you can. And I told Spencer Lu wasn't feeling so good, so I wanted to spend some time with her. He sounded disappointed ‘cos he was making plans for our weekend off but understood completely I needed to be with my friend.

See? Spencer made it so easy falling in love with him! He was so thoughtful it freaking hurt!

I couldn't fight the feeling anymore and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt he was waiting for me to make that move, ‘cos in a few seconds, his arm was wrapped around me protectively.

- "I know Lu needed you, but you missed a whole weekend of cuddling on this couch watching your favorite movies with me,"- Spencer whispered, bumping his head carefully against mine. I bit my lips and smiled, not taking my eyes away from the screen.

- "We do this pretty often"- that was all I could answer.

- "At least once a week for the last… thirteen-month two weeks, and… four days."

- "I love how precise you can be when it comes to our friendship, honey."

Calling it a friendship hurt me at that point, but it was what it was. Spencer chuckled and just nodded. We enjoyed our company in silence for a moment. His fingers drawing figures on my arm and my head resting on his shoulder, letting his smell invade me. It was heaven.

We were finally watching the movie… though what I really wanted was to watch a movie with Spencer instead of actually watching it. But that was the nature of our relationship. We were friends. Friends don't watch movies.

- "No way,"- I argued when his cellphone rang and interrupted our moment- "Please tell me we don't have a case."

- "We don't,"- he quickly answered and picked up the phone- "Hello? Hi… it's ok, tell me"- he didn't stand up or moved from me. He kept holding me tight against his body and finished his call by simply saying.

- "We can meet tomorrow at seven at work. I can help you with your test."- I hated those words immediately.

- "It's not a problem, see you tomorrow. Bye."

I was afraid to ask ‘cos I knew the answer. The knot on my stomach was the fair warning of what had just happened. That bitch had ruined our moment yet again.

- "What are you doing tomorrow at seven?"- I did my best to sound as casual as possible, but I knew that conversation might not end well. He hesitated. I could nearly hear his neurons struggling to find the correct answer to that question. Until he simply whispered:

- "Please don't get mad."

- "Why would I?"

- "‘Cos Ashley just called to ask me to help her study for a test…"

I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, doing my best to calm myself down at least a little before speaking.

- "I'm not mad, Spencer,"- I tried to lie as smoothly as possible. I even cut him a smile and looked into his hazel and confused eyes.

- "I know you don't like her, but I had offered to help in case she needed any… what?"

- "I'm not mad, really,"- I smiled again and turned to the screen- "We said we were not going to argue, and besides, she just called to ask you for help. That's not something to be mad about, right?"

Technically I wasn't mad. I was beyond furious.

- "Are you sure?"- he narrowed his eyes, baffled- "Not that I want you to be mad or something, but we just argued over her, and you said you felt invaded by her… so…"

- "Yes, but I don't wanna argue anymore. I don't want you to think I hate Seaver because I don't. And most of all, I don't want her to be the reason we fight. I don't wanna fight with you. Ever."

Spencer sighed, relieved, and smiled, pleased with my answer.

Spencer's point of view

Something felt off the following day when I walked into the bullpen and saw Ashley waiting for me by my desk with two cups of coffee. (Y/N) had said everything was ok, and I decided I wanted to believe her. But I had an awful feeling about everything that was going on.

- "Hi!"- Ashley smiled and handed me a cup- "Figured you might appreciate one of these for making you wake up earlier."

- "Thank you"- I smiled awkwardly and held the cup- "Are you ready?"

- "Yes, I brought all the notes from the class and my books…"- she set them on her desk and giggled as I went through her notes, sipping my cup- "I feel back in high school…"

- "Why?"

- "I wasn't the best student back then, and I always had to ask my classmates for help,"- I couldn't help but think of something (Y/N) had said the night before.

- "And are you a good student at the academy?"

- "Yes, I think. I'm not in the top three of my class, but I have good grades. I'm just not… a genius, like you."

Her eyes lingered on my face, and her cheeks blushed after a few seconds. I frowned, not getting why she was embarrassed. Was it just ‘cos she didn't have the same honorifics as I did?

- "I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified,"- I simply answered, remembering how many times in my life I had ever said something like that. Way too many, to be honest.

It was hard to focus on the subject when Seaver kept asking me personal questions every five minutes. She seemed more interested in knowing about my childhood in Las Vegas than learning about profiling and victimology.

- "Good morning, kids!"- I turned around and smiled at Morgan, so glad to see him I might have actually felt a little relieved- "What are you doing here so early?"

- "Hey! I was just helping Ashley with her test,"- I stood up and walked from her desk over his- "And about you?"

- "I have a meeting with Strauss in a while, and Sanderson's case didn't let me sleep. It was better to come here and start working than to keep on rolling on my bed. But I'm glad you are here. Wanna help me go through a few extra files?"

- "Of course!"- I left the notes I was holding on the closest desk and walked with Morgan to the conference room.

I considered our session with Seaver finished, mostly ‘cos for the last ten minutes, she had been asking about me. What I liked doing outside the BAU, favorite bands, hobbies, anything. I answered her questions and kept trying to push her to study. I didn't want her to blame me if she failed her test.

- "Hey, kid."- Morgan whispered after a few minutes and took a look around, just to make sure no one else was near. I looked at him confused ‘cos he was never that careful to say anything in the office.

- "Is everything ok?"

- "Yes?"- I answered, though it sounded like a question ‘cos I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

- "Are you excited to have Seaver on the team for the next month?"- I shrugged and kept reading the file in my hands- "Come on, Reid. She is clearly sweet to you."

- "I don't know what you are talking about."

- "She has a crush on you, kid."

- "No, she doesn't!"

- "Come on! Are you blind?"- I stared at Morgan, not getting what he was talking about- "Man, Seaver gives you loving eyes even when we are on the field!"

- "She does not!"- I knew I was blushing. I hated those kinds of conversations, and Morgan always made me feel awkward when he hinted I should flirt with a girl or just talk to them.

- "And I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything like that ever again."

- "What's the matter, kid? You don't think she is pretty?"

- "I don't look at her that way!"- I buried my head in a file and tried not to notice how he scanned my whole face, looking for micro expressions.

- "I see. Are you afraid (Y/N) might get jealous?"- Morgan chuckled at his words and tapped on my back a few times, making me flinch- "Relax, man. I'm just kidding!"

- "I don't like those jokes, Derek. Really."

Morgan kept his eyes on me a little longer and nodded. I did my best not to show how I really felt, but somehow, I failed miserably.

- "You know, kid, it would be much easier if you just told (Y/N) how you feel about her,"- Derek's voice was soft and even more concerned than I thought he could be. I nearly shook when I heard him, so I failed my mission of remaining stoic.

- "Reid, it's ok. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for her."

- "I don't… like talking about this,"- I whispered and closed the file- "Can we just focus on work, please?"- Derek nodded and stayed quiet for a few seconds. But I knew he wasn't done yet.

- "Reid, listen. I know you are not really fond of sharing how you feel with us, I know you share almost everything that happens in your life with (Y/N), and as your friend, I've always felt glad and relieved to know you have her. But if there's something you can't tell her, and you need to talk to someone, you can count on me. You know that, right?"

I nodded and looked at him. That conversation took me back to the year I was using and had to keep it secret from my friends. I knew I could count on Morgan if anything happened, but I really wasn't comfortable sharing my thoughts, feelings, and fears with people. (Y/N) made it so easy. Was it ‘cos I loved her? I just always felt I could tell her anything. That had never happened to me before with anyone.

- "Morgan, Strauss was looking for you,"- Rossi walked into the room holding a cup of coffee and stared at us, raising an eyebrow- "Everything ok?"

- "Yes, we were just going through some files,"- Morgan stood up and grabbed the case folder- "I'll be right back."

- "I'll finish reading all these,"- I said and pointed at the box filled with more files. Morgan nodded and walked away.

- "Do you need any help?"- Seaver walked over that second and smiled at me. I stood up and shook my head.

- "Thanks, but I'm basically done. I'll just go make myself another cup of coffee."

- "I'll go with you!"- she smiled and waited for me by the door. Rossi looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I just cut him a straight smile and walked to the kitchenette, followed closely by Ashley.

(Y/N) walked into the bullpen that minute. I watched her as she opened the glass door and took out her jacket. It felt like the time passed in slow motion as she walked. I couldn't help it, I just smiled as soon as our eyes crushed, and for a few seconds, life was perfect. Just to know she was there, smiling at me made everything worth living.

See why I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling? They would make fun of me. Morgan would never understand the agony and the dimension of my love for her. He would just tease me. I wonder if he had ever actually been in love 'till that point in life.

I didn't want anyone to know what was happening to me ‘cos I was sure they would make fun of me, and that was the last thing I needed at that moment. So I did what I knew best: I locked it all inside and waited for it to burn me alive.

- "Good morning, chipmunk!"- I stood by (Y/N)'s side and smiled as she left her things on her desk and turned to me. She just looked into my eyes, and my brain turned into mush.

- "Good morning, honey bunny. Did you sleep well? You look tired."

- "Yeah, I just got up extra early today to help Seaver, and now I was helping Derek with some files."

- "Do you need a hand?"

- "Sure!"- I didn't even analyze my answer. I just spit the words, thinking it would be amazing to spend some time with my friend, working together.

- "Hi (Y/N), how are you?"- that until her face changed completely when Seaver waved at her- "Spencer, do you want me to make your coffee?"- I froze and turned to her in silence.

- "No, thank you. I'll… just… wait a little before having another one. I just had my third cup."

- "Three cups in already"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes and turned to her desk, giving me her back- "How long have you been awake?"

- "Not as long as Morgan, I tell you that,"- I pointed at him, walking out of Strauss's office and heading back to our conference room.

- "Let's help him, then."

(Y/N) walked quickly, and I followed closely. I wished I hadn't said no to that coffee. I really needed one to go through that morning.

During that morning, Derek questioned Sanderson again and finally took him and Rossi back to his house, trying to trigger any memory that might help us crack the case. Meanwhile, the rest of the team and I stayed back in the office, repeatedly going through the case files. So far, all we knew is that a team had attacked Sanderon's home and framed him for the murder of his wife and daughter.

The whole day, I focused on work ‘cos it's my favorite escape, and clearly, there was something more important to think of than whatever was going on with my life. But my head was killing me. The migraines were starting to get more intense, and I think they got worse the more thinking I gave to my relationship with (Y/N).

- "It sounds like we need to profile a dormant killer"- Ashle's voice surprised me when I was pouring myself a cup of fresh coffee in the kitchenette.

- "A very lucky one. He was essentially given a gift, a patsy in the form of Don Sanderson, and he'll do anything to protect that story."- I answered, thinking I didn't want to be in Sanderon's shoes, trying to clear my name of something I hadn't done.

- "When someone has a secret this big, everything becomes a lie."

Somehow, Seaver's words hit me. I'm sure she didn't mean to strike a nerve, but she did. I had been in love with my best friend for too long, and now it was starting to affect my life. I didn't want it to get in the way of work, and we were at work most of our time together. But there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to keep on faking everything was normal.

- "He'll most likely be pathological,"- I nearly choked at my own words as I tried to shake away the thoughts from my head.

- "So, we're looking for a liar in D. C. I thought we were trying to narrow this down."- Ashley tried to joke and waited for my reaction but didn't get anything. Instead, I just cut her a straight smile and walked away.

By the end of the night, Morgan had gotten the unsub. But I was still a mess. It had been the longest day in weeks, not just ‘cos I had barely slept the night before, but because I was overthinking everything that happened around me. It was exhausting.

- "Are you coming, Batsy?"- (Y/N) asked me and grabbed her bag after putting on her coat. I stood from my desk and nodded.

- "Yes, ma chère."

- "Where are you guys going tonight?"- Derek asked and smiled at us- "No. Don't tell me, planning this year's matching Comic-Con costumes"- I chuckled and probably blushed, busted.

- "We already settled those, Derek. We are way ahead of schedule this year,"- (Y/N) answered and stuck out her tongue to him.

- "(Y/N), can you give me a second before you go?"- Prentiss stood up and smiled at my friend, who just nodded and walked with her to the conference room. Derek and Seaver looked at me.

- "What?"

- "Do you know what's that about?"- Morgan questioned me.

- "I have no idea."

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "Please don't freak out,"- Emily smiled and turned to me after she closed the door behind her back- I just needed to clear the air a little bit between us.

- "What? Why? Is there something wrong?"

- "I don't know, I just feel you have been acting weird lately, and I needed to know if it has something to do with me supervising Seaver."

I nearly gasped. Not ‘cos I felt insulted but ‘cos I felt caught. I knew I hadn't been subtle about my feelings for Seaver. I just didn't want them to get in the middle of work.

- "I haven't been weird with you, Emily, and I don't think I've been acting strange."

- "Come on, you don't like Ashley, and I offered to supervise her while she works with us."

- "Yes, but neither of those has anything to do with me and you. We are friends, Emily."

- "I know, and I wanna honor that friendship, (Y/N). I love working with you. I just want you to know I'm not… I just… I'm trying to help Seaver start her career."

- "I understand that. We are ok,"- I tried to reassure her, but I knew she could read between my bullshit.

- "Do you think you could try to be a little bit nicer with her?"

- "Nicer?"

- "Yes, (Y/N). She is making an effort to get along with the team, and you've been giving her the cold shoulder since day one." -I crossed my arms on my chest, obviously annoyed and defensive.

- "I have been friendly with her, Emily. I just don't like her, and you can't force me to be her friend."

In my defense, in my mind, that argument didn't sound as childish as it did when I said it out loud.

- "Don't be selfish! Just because you are jealous, you can't deprive her of the opportunity of a lifetime with this team."

Emily's words were knives against my ego and nearly destroyed my facade. I stared into her eyes and wondered how to get out of that situation without hurting my friend. I could pretend I didn't know what she was talking about, but we both knew that was bullshit. I could actually try to tell her how I felt, but it was so humiliating I refused to open up. So instead, I just nodded and smiled at her.

- "I'm sorry that's how you see me. I'll try to be a better version of myself tomorrow,"- and needless to say, I turned around and left.

- "(Y/N), please wait,"- but I didn't stop walking. I refused to continue talking about Seaver with anyone. I refused to deal with feelings or the real world.

- "Everything ok?"- Spencer asked me the second he saw me appear by his side.

- "Yes,"

- "You are blushing. Did you and Prentiss argue?"

- "No, honey. We didn't argue. She just wanted to check on me ‘cos she was worried I was mad at her. But that's all."- Spencer just nodded and looked at me in silence.- "Why don't we just go home and forget about today, honey?"

Easier said than done.

So Seaver was getting under my skin. And it was getting harder to control. That week was hell, and I didn't want to show it. Eventually, I talked with Emily again, and I tried to explain to her I wasn't being mean with Seaver. I just didn't like her. And though I gave Emily my word to be friendlier with Ashley, the circumstances weren't really helping.

Things didn't get any better than Friday night. No, if anything, that was the night that made it all worse. Prentiss, JJ, and I got together at Garcia's house and had a few drinks before leaving for Anderson's birthday. I was making my biggest effort to have fun and ease my mind. Spencer said he wasn't sure he'd make it ‘cos he was tired, and automatically I almost turned out the whole deal, but Penelope literally dragged me to her house and put a beer in my hand.

- "You, my young lady, are going to put some makeup on, a hot dress, and we are going to party!"

- "But PG, I'm not…"- but she didn't let me out of it. Instead, she shushed me and raised an eyebrow, looking pretty convincing.

- "No "but." You are going. End of the conversation."

So she dragged me to the bar, along with Prentiss and JJ, who had left Will with little Henry to join us for what was promised to be one epic girl's night.

Anderson was so happy to see us. He was a sweetheart who was always willing to help us. I knew technically he didn't work at the BAU, but he was always there whenever we needed him. We all felt he was part of the team.

- "Sonny!!"- I yelled and hugged him tight

- "I'm so glad you girls made it!!"- and his smile was priceless- "JJ!!"- he actually yelled when he saw her and ran to give her a triple bear hug.

- "Grant Anderson!! I can't believe it's really you!!"

- "I've missed you so much!! How's Henry?"

- "So big!! I feel I haven't been out with friends in so long!"- JJ looked around, and her face kept lighting up as she recognized more friends and acquaintances from Quantico. I looked around and recognized Morgan already flirting with a woman at the other side of the bar.

- "Looks like chocolate thunder knows how to keep himself busy,"- I joked, and Garcia turned immediately.

- "Have you ever seen him shirtless?"- she asked in a lower voice and leaned a little closer to me, just to make sure no one would listen- "I'm sure it's illegal looking so good in real life."

I laughed and turned to see Prentiss walk to the bar to get us the first round of drinks. Ok, I'll admit it, I was having a great time. I know I didn't want to go at first, but spending time with my work friends and not just with Spencer was refreshing. Not that I didn't do fun things with the rest of the team, but my relationship with Spencer, I mean the friendship that pretty much looked like a relationship, consumed most of my time. But I just loved being with Reid more than anything.

But one night without him wasn't going to be the end of the world. Right?

Right.

Anderson and I danced and laughed. It was all very innocent. And though I've never considered myself a hot chick or whatever, a few guys asked if they could get me drinks, and I kindly declined. I wasn't looking for a one-night stand or anything. I just wanted to have fun with my friends.

- "And where's Reid?"- Anderson asked as we reached our table, where Prentiss and JJ were catching up and laughing.

- "Home, he said he was tired."

- "And? When are you two going to come clean about your relationship? You know, having the confirmation of your romance would be the best birthday present you could ever give me."

- "Grant Anderson, you nosy bastard!!"- I hit his arm and heard his laughter- "You know we are not dating!"

- "Come on!! I mean it! You have to get together! You are like the FBI sweethearts!!"

- "Shut your face!"- Anderson laughed even harder and took a look around the bar

- "So, if you are not dating Spencer, I have a friend who asked about you."

- "Who? What friend? Is he here?"- Garcia shouted question after question as she had overheard the whole conversation and even moved closer.

- "His name is James. He saw you on the news a few months ago, at a press conference with Rossi, and has been asking about you ever since."

I frowned and looked at Garcia, who was wide-eyed staring at Anderson. I had no idea what was going on. It was bizarre.

- "No, thank you?"- I whispered, not even sure of what I should answer at that- "I'm very flattered, Grant, but… I'm really not looking for someone right now."

- "You are not?"- Garcia asked me, and I just shook my head.

- "No, I have too much going on in my life, with work and… well… what we do…"

- "Really?"- Anderson sounded a little disappointed- "Well, in case you change your mind, James is…"

- "(Y/N)? Can I talk to you for a second?"- Garcia grabbed my arm and crawled me to a side of the bar.

- "What? What is it?"

- "Munchkin, you know I love you."

- "Yes, I love you too, PG."

- "That's why I feel like I need to be honest with you, ‘cos you've always been so sweet, and we've known each other for years now, and I feel like if I don't tell you this, you are never going to forgive me."- Penelope was nearly hyperventilating as she spoke.

- "Ok, what is it? You are scaring me."

- "You have to tell Reid how you feel."

- "What?"

- "He has to know! You have to tell him!"

- "I don't wanna talk about what, Penelope"- I tried to walk away from her, but she stopped me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me back.

- "No, (Y/N). He loves you, I'm not a profiler, I don't even play one on tv, but I am sure what I see in his eyes when he looks at you is love… ‘cos it's the same you have when you look at him!"

- "Son of a bitch!!"- the words escaped my lips as my heart nearly left my chest.

- "No, (Y/N)!"- but Garcia lost my attention that second, ‘cos all I could see was Spencer Walter Reid walking into the bar and Ashley Seaver hanging from his arm.

- "What do you want me to tell him, Garcia? To have fun with his new girlfriend?"- I pointed at the door, and her jaw nearly hit the floor.

- "Ok, no. There has to be a reasonable explanation for that!"

- "Yes, but Spencer being in love with me is not the explanation. I'm gonna get a drink."

Spencer's point of view

I was surprised to get Ashley's phone call that night. When my phone rang, I was ready to go to bed. My head was killing me. I had already scheduled an appointment with the doctor for some exams. I was starting to have a bad feeling about what those headaches really were, and I was too scared to tell anyone what was going on. Not even (Y/N).

Actually, of all people, she was the one I wanted to keep in the dark. Why? ‘Cos ever since we met she had taken care of me, I didn't think it was fair. She had taken me into her life and given me a place in it. And sometimes, I felt I was a burden. She helped me overcome all of my traumas and even my drug addiction. She introduced me to her best friends and made me part of her life. (Y/N) had taken trips with me to Las Vegas just to see my mom, ‘cos she knew it was hard for me to do it on my own. If it hadn't been for her, I would have probably spent over a year without visiting her. Now, we took a weekend to see mom every few months.

Why would I trouble her with some headaches? It wasn't fair.

When Ashley called, for a moment, I thought it might be (Y/N), asking me to pick her up. But no. It wasn't her that time.

- "Hey Spence, I'm sorry to bother you, but… are you at Anderson's party?"

- "No, actually, I'm in my house."

- "Why? I thought you were invited too."

- "Yeah, I know, and I was, but I'm kind of tired, and I wanted to come home and get some rest. Why? Are you at the party?"

- "No, but I was getting ready to go. But now I feel kind of awkward asking you."

- "What? What is it?"

- "I just… wanted to know if you could come with me. I'm so sorry, Spence, I didn't know you were tired. I just… I wanted to go to the party, but I feel kind of silly going alone. I wanted to ask Prentiss, but she left with (Y/N) and Garcia, and I felt so awkward asking…"

I wanted to groan, roll in my bed and hide under my pillow. But Ashley was the new girl, and she deserved to have some fun.

- "Don't worry, I'll take you there,"- I know I whispered my answer ‘cos I didn't really want to do it, but somehow I felt it was my duty.

- "Really?!"- and by the excitement in Ashley's voice, it was clear that was what she wanted to hear.

- "I'll pick you up in half an hour, ok?"

- "Thank you so much, Spence!!"

But when I walked into the bar, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt it in my guts. The same intuition I never followed in my personal life, only on the field.

I quickly looked around as Ashley held on to my arm tightly and walked into the bar with a big smile. I soon found Prentiss and JJ talking at a table filled with empty glasses, and my heart jumped inside my chest at the warm, familiar feeling that my friends gave me. I missed JJ very much. And not just as a team member but as a friend who had been taken away from us. (Y/N) always said I didn't know how to deal with change, neither did she, and the shifts in the team always affected me.

Soon I saw Morgan too, talking with Anderson and some other agents. Garcia had to be close then, but I couldn't see her or (Y/N) anywhere around.

- "Come on! Let's get a drink!"- Ashley said and crawled me to the bar.

- "I don't drink and drive"- I said, and she pouted.

- "Come on! You are no fun! Just one!"

- "No, just water. Thanks,"- I turned and scanned the place. Everybody was there, and they seemed to be having fun. Penelope waved and walked to me suddenly. She cut me a short smile and grabbed my arm.

- "Hey, what the hell are you doing here?"

- "I didn't want to come, but Ashley insisted and…"

- "Hi!"- Ashley appeared by our side and handed me a bottle of water- "I'm so excited to be here! We really needed to decompress after everything that happened this week, right Garcia?"

Penelope stared at us, trying to formulate an answer. I could see her making her bet to say something, but she just didn't. Instead, she just turned around and walked away.

- "Is she ok?"- I didn't know how to answer that, ‘cos Penelope's reaction surprised me. Ashley just looked around and grabbed my arm again.

- "Come on, Spencer! Let's dance!"

- "No, I don't… dance, sorry."

Lucky for me, Prentiss showed up and invited us to sit with her at her table. I don't know if she noticed I was uncomfortable, but I was glad to see her. Being in that bar made me feel pretty awkward and exposed.

I had never been much of a party person. I wasn't used to bars and gatherings until I joined the BAU. When I first met Derek, he tried to take me out a few times and be my wingman. It's obvious he failed at that mission. Meeting people at a bar is the most complicated equation I could ever try to solve. It doesn't work for me, no matter how hard Derek pushed me to do it. He said I had to rely on what made me feel comfortable. But no. It wasn't that I couldn't meet people. It was that I didn't want to meet anyone once I met the woman of my dreams. Even when I knew she could never be mine.

When (Y/N) came along, she started hosting these fun "dinner parties" with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, which changed everything. It was the first time I was hanging out with people my age doing things I actually liked doing. It wasn't about drinking or picking girls in a bar. It was about playing Jenga, or charades, eating pizza, and talking about movies and sometimes even books.

(Y/N) said her friends considered me part of the gang, which was all I ever wanted to hear. That I belonged. It's kind of sad when you think about it, but I don't care. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere, and they made me feel like I was one of them. They took me to their rock shows, and I jumped along with the crowd, knowing I wasn't an outcast there. I was with my friends.

You don't know how good that made me feel. And for years, they were my social comfort and cocoon. Then, when Rossi joined the BAU again, he started hosting fancy dinner parties at his house, and I got to hang out with the whole team without being at a bar, pushed to meet people. And it was so good. (Y/N) always said Rossi's arrival had a cohesive effect on us. Not because he brought us together, but the circumstances of his arrival and everything that happened that first year.

This team is no stranger to trauma, and that's a fact. I think Rossi's dinner parties gave us a space to be ourselves, relax, have a few drinks and enjoy our time together. I think that's when we stepped from being friends to be family.

And I hadn't had one before.

I hugged JJ tight as soon as I saw her smiling at me. I hadn't seen her ever since her goodbye party, over two months before, but we had talked on the phone a few times.

- "I've missed you so much, Spence!!"- she said and held my face with both hands- "You and (Y/N) owe me two babysit nights,"- and I laughed, thinking we promised we'd take care of Henry so she and Will could have a date, but we were called for a case.

- "Wait! It was one night!"- I argued, chuckling- "Why is it two nights now?"

- "‘Cos I lost a very exclusive reservation due to the two of you."

- "Technically, it wasn't our fault, we were called in for a case..."

I smiled and sat next to JJ, and Prentiss sat next to me. Ashley stood by the table and smiled at JJ. Right, they didn't even know each other.

- "It's very nice to meet you, Agent Jareau. The team talks very highly of you,"- she shook JJ's hand and smiled.

- "Ashley, right? Prentiss was just telling me you will be taking your remedial training at the BAU. Congratulations, it's a fantastic team to work with."

- "Thank you,"- I took a look around, still trying to find my best friend around. But it seemed useless, and I was starting to feel worried.

- "Where's (Y/N)?"- I had to ask.

- "She was with Anderson a minute ago,"- Penelope said and looked around- "I am going to look for her and bring her here in a second. I'll be right back."

And so, she was gone.

Prentiss and I pretty much interrogated JJ about her new job and the new team she worked with at the pentagon. I sipped my water and half-listened her answer, ‘cos most of my head was trying to register what was going on around me. No, actually, I was trying to find (Y/N). Penelope had been gone for half an hour looking for her, and I was starting to think something weird was going on. Besides, my head was killing me, and all I wanted was to go home. But I hadn't seen JJ in weeks, and I couldn't waste a chance like that.

Ashley talked with Prentiss too, and every once in a while, she tried to engage in conversation with me. But to be honest, I couldn't really concentrate on anything. I just wanted to know (Y/N) was alright.

- "Excuse me,"- I stood up slowly and looked at my friends- "I'm going to the bathroom, be right back."

- "Can you get us another round on our way back?"- Prentiss asked and smiled guiltily.

- "Sure."

- "Do you need help?"- Ashley tried to stand up, but Emily stopped her.

- "He got it, don't worry."

So I was left on my own. I walked around the bar. In my mind, I kept telling myself I was "looking for the bathroom," but I knew very well I was indeed trying to find (Y/N). I had been in that bar for an hour, and I still hadn't seen her. I was worried.

I walked around the bar and found Anderson. He seemed to be a little shocked to see me there but smiled and hugged me. It was weird hugging people, still. But Anderson was part of the team. It always felt like it. We had known each other for years, and somehow it was like he was in the background of our daily basics.

- "Have you seen (Y/N)?"- I asked him, and he widened his eyes- "What?"

- "Yeah, she's right there, actually… "- Grant Anderson pointed and turned around- "Later, Reid."

- "Bye"- I didn't even look at him. I just turned and looked around to see (Y/N).

But my best friend didn't notice me. She was too busy kissing some guy.

I stood in front of her, not knowing what to do. Her eyes were closed, and her arms were around his neck, so clearly, she wasn't in distress, and no matter how badly I wanted to take her from him, I just couldn't.

For a minute, I couldn't believe my eyes. I just stood there and stared at (Y/N), trying to understand what was going on. I always knew she wasn't meant to be mine, but I had never gotten such a brutal reminder. Not even when she was dating Paul. Watching her kissing someone else was shocking. The way that man put his hands on her waist and held her close to him, just like I always dreamt of doing, was painful.

Painful. That was the only word I can explain how it felt.

I stood there for a minute or so. I really don't know how long it was, but it felt long enough to burn in my memory everything I needed to torture myself with for the rest of my life. I stepped back after a minute. It might have been longer; I really can't recall. And all I managed to do was to walk out of the bar and reach my car.

I opened the door and slammed it as I sat behind the wheel. I wanted to cry and yell. But I didn't do either of those. Instead, I stayed still, staring at the nothing in front of me, trying to erase that fresh memory from my head. But it was impossible. (Y/N) was making out with some guy inside that bar, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. So I did the only thing I could do at that minute. I started the car and got the fuck out of there.

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Next update: June 23th, 2021

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p-antomime · 3 years

Text

dawn addiction.

— minors don't interact.

— wc: 3,3K

content + warnings: 18+, including: car sex, oral (female receiving), fingering, public sex (kinda of), unprotected sex, tummy bulge, pet names (dabi actually calls the reader "princess"), virginity loss (only mentioned), i bit of fluff bye

pairings: no quirk!dabi x fem!reader

— song: Press Your Number; by TAEMIN

After waking up alone one dark night without you sleeping next to him in the spacious bed placed in the middle of his room, Dabi catches himself thinking about you and feeling strange without having your warm body next to his in the bed. Thinking about Y/N was becoming a vicious habit for him and it was the kind of addiction that the more he fed, the more it seemed to swallow his sanity. However, he didn't blame you for not wanting to be seen or related to him, in a small town like the two of you Touya was the delinquent that people avoided interacting with lest they be excluded from that closed society.

He stretches to the side in order to get his own phone from the small table placed on the side of his bed and finds himself standing there for a few seconds feeling the smell of your body that permeated the pillow next to him. After taking a deep inhale, Dabi unlocks his cell phone to try to call you, but there is no answer, after all, it was past 1:00 AM in the dawn and Y/N was now probably lying in her own bed in her house trying to sleep.

The dark haired man lets out an impatient grunt before dropping the cell phone on the bed. He was deeply rooted in you and, because of that, feeling like an insane madman who was insisting on something that couldn't be his. But what could he do but fall in love with you after kissing your lips countless times and spreading your legs dangerously wide for him before claiming your virginity as his?

And the end of that night, just like all the others where you would finish fucking and you would shamefully put on your clothes to go home, would be filled by him masturbating with the thought of your naked body running through his mind.

Touya could feel the warm temperature of yours with little mental effort with his own fingers and would cling to the fading memories of the few non-sexual moments you had shared over the past few months.

That night, Dabi slept when the sun was already up, but Y/N, on the other hand, didn't even sleep a wink. She couldn't even take a lousy nap, because her eyes were glued to her cell phone screen waiting to see if he would call her again because on the first call of the night she wasn't brave enough to answer knowing that her parents were half a wall away. A coward? Yes, that's what she was. But there was a perfect daughter demeanor that she needed to maintain, especially if she wanted to continue to nurture her father's idea of letting her start studying at a university in the metropolitan area of the country.

Y/N would turn twenty a week from today — and if her father's promise to give you a car came true, her plan was already halfway done — and she didn't want to be stuck in that small, rural town forever. She had big dreams, and, ironically, in most of them the fulminating image of Dabi was present beside her. What if she was the only one there who wanted to leave that life? What if he didn't want to leave with her? But more importantly, at what point had their relationship become so deep?

It was now 7 o'clock in the morning, which meant that in about two hours your parents would wake up to go to work. You took a deep breath and reached out to grab the cell phone lying next to you on the bed, and then began to type a message as brief and vague as possible to your lover:

"Pack up all your stuff by next Friday. Take everything that you think is important or of value to you, pack it up, and meet me on the other side of the bridge that leads to the avenue out of town, the side that has the rusty 'Welcome to our town' sign. At two o'clock in the morning. No delays. And please try not to draw too much attention, wear the most decent, neutral clothes you have in your closet. Oh, and bring documents."

And all week long you could barely look your parents in the face without feeling guilty for wanting to break free from their protective arms, but you just couldn't take it anymore. You hated that small town, and you also hated being forced to go to church every Thursday and Sunday with your mother because she said that God would "bless you with all your dreams come true," so why didn't he just indirectly help you leave that town behind? Literally, the only thing holding you back in that town was Touya and you wanted to take him with you outside the boundaries of that town that looked more like a village forgotten by the rest of the world.

Y/N's favorite place to be was Dabi's lips, and even then, the girl's replies to him by messages and short calls that didn't last more than 5 minutes started to decrease drastically. The useless monologues continue to increase inside her mind. Until the Thursday before her birthday when Y/N was about to fall asleep after standing for almost 2 hours listening to the local church mass hoping that her mother would not notice her slouching and irritable posture, suddenly a sound of something banging against her bedroom window was heard. And initially she didn't bother to get up to find out what had caused the noise, until she heard it twice more and frowned as she got out of bed after seeing that it was almost two o'clock in the dawn.

You drew the curtains in front of the window, opened it and stuck your head out, looking down and suddenly feeling your cheeks heat up violently. And there was Touya looking at you with a look of sorrow and animosity. He pointed in the direction of the hidden backyard behind your house where the two of you in the beginning of your relationship used to hide just to spend some time together or have a make-out session that ended up leaving both of you sexually frustrated because neither of you had the courage to have sex in that place where anyone could see you if you made too much noise. However, Dabi was the devil in your life worth sinning for.

— What the fuck are you doing here? — Y/N asked almost desperately as she felt Touya wrap one of his arms around her waist to glue their bodies together.

— What? Can't a man miss his beloved and want to go see her? — He asked, holding her face with his free hand. — You barely answer my messages.

— I told you we were going to meet tomorrow, on Friday. — You rested your hands on his chest to move away just enough to look him in the face.

— And about that, you're killing me with curiosity, princess. What are you thinking of doing tomorrow? It's your birthday. — Dabi commented, running his thumb along her bottom lip affectionately.

— I-I know. — You replied, looking away. — I was planning on... going out... with you. — You just didn't say it was going to be an out-of-town trip with no intention of coming back.

— What are you hiding? — He asked, leaning down to place a simple, tender kiss on her lips.

— Would you follow me wherever I went?

— I would follow you to the ends of hell if you asked me to. — Dabi answered, and instinctively you grabbed his face to place your lips back on theirs in a kiss deeper than the one before in a frenzy of feeling.

— Then do it. — Y/N whispered against his lips staring into his beautiful turquoise eyes. — For my birthday the only thing I ask from you is to always be by my side, I don't need material gifts.

Seconds after you finished speaking, the sound of footsteps inside your house could be heard, and a shiver ran down your back as your hands desperately pushed Dabi away in the direction of the very door through which the two of you had entered the yard.

— Damn, not even at dawn I... — Touya began to complain as he walked briskly away from you and disappeared into the darkness of the night to return to his house.

— Shhh, shut up. I'll see you at dawn. Two o'clock, don't forget. — You whispered loud enough for him to hear you as you turned back and faced the back door of your house slowly opening to reveal to you the sleepy figure of your father.

— Honey? — He asked, and you gasped as if you were distracted by something while you could hear your heart beating rapidly. — What are you doing out here? It's late? and cold, you might catch cold.

— I... — Y/N looked around just to make sure there was no more sign of Dabi. — I heard a noise here when I went down to get some water and just wanted to come down and see if it wasn't an animal or something. But it was nothing, I guess it was just my mind playing with me. — It was a good enough lie considering that it wasn't hard to wake up during the night to go to the bathroom or eat something from the fridge.

And then your father called you inside and you promptly went. As the day went on, not even your father's birthday present with the car seemed to quell the anxiety inside you of going to see Dabi in the middle of the night with no intention of coming home. Y/N packed three backpacks and after watching your parents go to sleep, put them all on the back seats of the car after grabbing the keys that your father had left on top of the coffee table in the living room, and also grabbing some money from your father's safe that was in a secluded room in the residence.

After writing a short, albeit long, letter explaining to her mother that she was going to the metropolitan city — but without saying with whom — to try a new life there and that you would be fine because "there were friends waiting for you there" — which was a big lie, but she didn't need to know that — Y/N put on a sweatshirt and ran out of her now former home. Remembering all the various driving lessons her mother had made her take last year, you put the key in the ignition and made sure that your license and other documents were in one of the pockets of the three backpacks on the back seats. And you set off across town to reach the end of the bridge that served as both a gateway into and out of the city, parking exactly beside the welcome sign.

After about fifteen minutes, you watched a silhouette approach through the darkness, and if you didn't recognize the blue-toned sweatshirt with white details that Dabi usually wore when he didn't want to attract attention, you would surely lock yourself inside your car for fear that it was some sexual predator. Before he could finish approaching you at the agreed upon spot and open his mouth to vocalize something, you ran toward him to jump into his arms and kiss him fervently like you hadn't done in almost two weeks. He didn't fight your grip and responded to your display of affection instantly, he missed your touch more than he would admit.

— Where are we going? — He asked, analyzing her new car as he watched you open the back seat door and gestured for him to put his own belongings inside.

— To the big city. — You answered unlocking the door next to the driver's seat after hearing Dabi choke on his own saliva looking at you as if he hadn't heard you correctly. — Come in. — Your head swiveled inward.

— What do you mean we're going to the city? What about your parents? You have a loving family here, I have nothing to lose, but you? — Dabi put one hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently.

— I want to go to the city. I want to live with you. — Y/N replied feeling her cheeks heat up and looking at him expectantly. — You said you would go anywhere with me, to the ends of hell.

— And I will, but this decision... — You interrupted him.

— Please. For once in my life I want to do things my way. Without having to hide you from anyone, without having anyone judge me for being with you. Let's go to another city, live together, we'll figure it out when we get there. — You put one hand on his forearm, squeezing it gently.

Touya took a few seconds to process the information and after looking from you to the car, he said:

— Where are the keys? — You waved them in front of him, flashing an amused smile. — So get in the car, doll face. I'll drive. — He gave you a light slap on the butt before pushing you toward the driver's seat, getting into the car and putting the key in the ignition. — How long until we reach the city?

— About six hours, we can get there in the morning.

— Great. — Dabi started the car and began to drive along the deserted road while resting one hand on Y/N’s covered thigh and occasionally giving the area a gentle squeeze.

After about an hour of driving, you became distracted by fiddling with your cell phone until you noticed his long fingers sneaking up and over your thighs until they came dangerously close to Dabi's real intended destination. Her eyes cast a serious countenance at him as if she were silently saying: "Don't you dare" and in response his lips parted in a defiant smile as his hand on the steering wheel slowed and eventually brought the car to a full stop.

— C'mon. It's been almost two weeks since we had sex. — He said, lowering the two seats you were sitting on and pulling you to sit on his lap with your back against the steering wheel.

— And the best place you could find to have sex was inside my new car? — Despite your complaint, you didn't try to restrain his hands from reaching into your sweatshirt to grab and squeeze your breasts, nor did you object to the feeling of his knee pressing against the middle of your legs.

Touya lifts your arms and pulls up your sweatshirt and then concentrates on removing the simple tank top and lacy bra you were wearing, shortly after which he leans over your body to take one of your nipples between his lips to begin stimulating it. In response, you rub your hips against his leg as your hands grip his dark hair as a way to relieve the growing tension settling through your body. His hands slowly slid down your back, past your waist and into your pants, while his right hand also invaded your panties to run his fingers over your pussy lips and his left was busy opening the buttons of that garment.

Y/N put her hands on the hem of his sweatshirt, pulled it up, and was not surprised to see him with nothing underneath. Strangely enough, his skin was naturally too warm and it was not hard to believe that even with the low temperature outside the car he would only need a casual sweatshirt to not feel cold. And that was exactly why you liked so much to run your hands along his body exploring him calmly to make your touches last longer.

Dabi turned his body so that you were lying on the passenger seat and stood over you with a smug smile as his hands dug in and squeezed the skin of your legs after he finished getting rid of your pants with some difficulty because of the tight space.

— Keep your legs open for me or I won't let you cum, princess. — He whispered, sliding his mouth down her torso to her pelvis and pulling her hips up as high as possible before burying his fingers inside her pussy and enveloping her clit with his lips.

Y/N's hands gripped Touya's now messy hair and pushed his face against her hip in search of more of that mind-blowing pleasure she had missed for the few days she had been avoiding him. Suddenly the car became extremely hot, almost to the point where you both felt suffocated and ironically neither of you cared about that, not when Dabi was curving his fingers and sucking your clit in the way that always made your vision cloud and too loud moans escape your mouth. But, you didn't want to cum in his mouth, so your hands moved his face away from your hips and pulled his body up.

— Please, Touya, I need you inside me. — Her voice was slurred by her rapid breathing.

Dabi didn't need you to say anything else, he just stepped back briefly to get rid of the clothes that were still covering his lower body, adjusted your hips to his, leaned on the car door behind your body and guided his cock to the entrance of your pussy. As you felt him fill and enlarge you completely with his tip rubbing against your cervix, you groaned, leaning on his shoulders to face him and watching the small rise against your belly that was always present when that black haired man penetrated you.

Touya slid one hand down your neck and closed his fingers around your neck applying just the right amount of pressure to make waves of pleasure run through your body and not to hurt you. He began to move and Y/N passed her legs around his waist moving her body downward every time Dabi moved upward, occasionally he would take her lips on his just because he liked to feel her moans against his mouth and the rhythm of his hips gradually began to get harder and faster.

— I should cum inside you, hmm? — Touya asked, keeping eye contact with you every moment he thrust inside you again and making you clench your walls around his length without you even realizing it. — Damn, I love you so much, you have no idea what I would do for you.

— So show me. — You grabbed the wrist of his hand that was still resting on your neck and squeezed it without too much force. — Make me your girl.

With a smug and satisfied smile, he continued thrusting himself against her insides to the point where her hips began to ache just seconds before she reached her own orgasm with her nails digging into the skin of Touya's arm and her back arching as spasms coursed through her entire body at a high rate of speed. He gave a few thrusts against your pussy until the white streaks of cum painted your insides and slowly pulled out of you, wanting to prolong the feeling of having you squeeze him some more.

Dabi let his tired body fall back against the driver's seat and concentrated on stabilizing his breathing while you did the same as you looked up at him with the following thought running through your mind: "This is definitely the man I want to be with forever". The thought made your cheeks burn and it didn't go unnoticed by him:

— What? — One of his eyebrows arched.

— Nothing, I was just thinking... about you, about us. — You answered, starting to look around the car for your clothes, and an amused laugh came from Touya's mouth, who looked at you tenderly.

— So I'm always on your mind?

— More than you think, yes. — Y/N answered, leaning over to place a tender kiss at the corner of his lips. — Now get ready, get your clothes, let's get back on the road.

— Can we fuck again before we get to the city again? — Her eyes narrowed in disapproval.

— Shut up, you idiot.

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