#I feel like I can't even claim I don't know what I'm doing anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mr-ribbit · 2 months

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gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

#discourse cw #transmisogyny cw

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bluegiragi · 14 days

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I hate to ask this cause it feels stupid but I dont wanna do a bunch of research on whatever the recent cod mw fandom discourse is,

but I saw the reblog of someone accusing you of supporting people who write sexualized pedophilia and that really is personally my only """"moral"""" with nsfw shit, (I'm a patreon subscriber and ig I just wanna know where my money's going) is THAT true?

this is such a never-ending nightmare.

i used to follow an artist who, 5-6 months ago made racist art featuring gaz in a slave context, which I didn't like, retweet or interact with in any way. they also made under-age art of ghost soap, which I also didn't interact with . people on twitter called me out yesterday, for retweeting art they'd made as evidence I stood by/encouraged/was an avid fan of all these tropes. Also, the art I retweeted wasn't either of these previous examples of art, but one where ghost and soap were sleeping in a bed together, as adults, peacefully. I can't emphasise enough that I have not interacted with this artist at all, for literally six months.

genuinely, my only crime is not unfollowing + blocking this artist earlier on, and then daring to retweet a fic tagged with "non-con" (ghost gets soap off in a context where he can't really properly consent, they're in front of a crowd of strangers and they have to fuck, but both parties are into each other) written by a friend as I wanted to support their writing.

and now i have pedophile claims because I accidentally retweeted a fandom bingo post that defended loli-con, and then immediately un-retweeted it when I properly read it.

And people are calling me a zoophile for supporting someone who wrote zoophilic fic and called people slurs (???) and I genuinely don't know who they're talking about there.

And the same people called me racist for making Horangi's eyes in the monster!AU sensitive because they thought I was making fun of Asian eyes. The real reason is because he's a cat hybrid and cats are sensitive to light (and I'm Chinese).

I tried addressing all this in a simpler way earlier on, and responded to an ask talking about my "support" for the artist who drew the slave Gaz art by saying the fanart in question was tone deaf and in poor taste. It wasn't enough for some people, so I'm happy to say it again - yes, it was racist, and the reason why I didn't want to be more aggressive is because I didn't want to extend all this mess by throwing this artist under the bus - I genuinely believed them when they said that wasn't that their intention, and think they should've deleted the post at the time.

And also I'm now called a rapist bc I like to entertain fics with dom/sub dynamics that dip into cnc, as an asexual woman who's personally repulsed by sex when it comes to myself.

That's everything so far. I really don't know what you people want from me anymore. I followed the wrong artist. I retweeted the wrong post. And I've undid those actions now. And for so many people to have taken literally everything spread by these people at face value, without even checking if their claims are true, is incredibly hurtful and isolating.

#there. the entire sequence of events #have fun i guess

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fallingdownhell · 3 months

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Hey….. soz if this is too much but can you do this https://www.tumblr.com/fallingdownhell/715302705397202944/i-absolutely-love-your-works-can-you-make?source=share

but with tighnari, wanderer and heizou thanks

Always. I always like me some angst with comfort<3 Characters Included: Wanderer; Tighnari; Heizou Summary: you have an argument with the boys, since they've been neglecting you for their work Content: gender neutral reader; established relationship; some angst; hurt/comfort; some swears and mean words; Wanderer is referred to as Kuni/Kunikuzushi Word count: 3,6k words Enjoy<3

Wanderer

You love your boyfriend. You truly do.

But between him helping out the Dendro Archon and now having enrolled in the Academiya, it felt like you didn't have a boyfriend at all anymore.

You rarely got to see him, and the times you did, he was so stressed and on high alert that he would probably snap at you if you were to bring up any topic that might put more stress onto him.

So instead, you just put up with his even more grumpy attitude towards you, trying to help him with whatever you could, hoping that it might take the edge off him a bit. But nothing ever seemed to work.

On the contrary, it has only gotten worse. For the past few days, you haven't seen your boyfriend. At all. He didn't come home and he has not been seen wandering the streets of Sumeru City.

You got so worried that you decided to pay Nahida a little visit, asking if she knew of the whereabouts of your dear boyfriend. She apologized to you, informing you that he had tasked him with something important, but that he should be back by today.

And true to her words, Kuni did come back home that night. However, once again, he paid no attention to you at all. He only laid down and fell right asleep, claiming that he was exhausted from his trip to the desert.

That was the point where you couldn't take it anymore. You understand that he has a lot to deal with currently, but that doesn't give him the right to treat you like you didn't exist. So, you decided to confront him in the morning, before he would leave again, hoping that a conversation could help clear things up between the two of you.

So, you made sure to wake up before him, making yourself and him some small breakfast like you like to do. When he comes down to eat with you, you greet him a good morning, which he only answers with a grumpy hum.

"Kuni.. we need to talk.", you decide to start, not wanting to take this attitude from him any longer.

A frustrated groan leaves his lips, rolling his eyes into the air. "Really, (Name)? Now? Can't we do this another time?"

"Yeah, sure. Just let me know when you decide to acknowledge me living here with you again. No, Kuni. We talk now. I'm done being treated like I don't exist."

At that, the Wanderer starts to gets defensive of his actions and soon enough, you two are in the middle of a full blown argument, loudly shouting at each other. Every semblance of a normal conversation has long left and you were now basically spewing insults at each other, none of you willing to acknowledge the others point of view.

"Gods, why do you always have to be so annoying? Maybe, if you weren't so god damn clingy all the time, I'd pay more attention to you!"

The words leave his lips and as soon as they do, he can see a flash of hurt shine in your eyes, which you quickly try to hide. But he's already seen it, and regret slips into his body.

Silence ensues, you're just staring at each other for a few seconds. You wait, hoping that he'll take back what he said, but nothing comes from him. His lips stay sealed as he just stares at you.

"So, it's my fault now? I'm the one at fault for you basically ignoring my entire existence? Making me question if I even have a boyfriend at this point? Because that's what it feels like. I don't get to see you anymore, I have to walk on eggshells around you, and then you go and blame me for it? Do I really mean that little to you?"

Your voice is dangerously calm as you say that, tears threatening to fall from the corners of your eyes, but you force them to stay down for now.

You see something shine in his eyes, but you can't put a finger on what it is before it's gone again, and he averts his eyes from you. A few more silent seconds pass and you're about to just get up and leave, when you hear him mumble something under his breath.

"...-ong."

"What was that?"

"..You're wrong.", he says, looking back up at you. Now, you can clearly see the conflict in his eyes, shining bright like he's begging you not to make him say this. But you just cross your arms in front of your chest, urging him to go on.

"I... you're wrong. You.. do mean something to me. More than I like to admit. I shouldn't have put the blame for my actions on you. I... I don't want you to leave. And.. I'll try better from now on."

For a moment, you look at him, contemplating his words. This would probably be the closest to an apology you would ever get from him. But when you don't answer him, you can see him starting to get a bit restless, squirming in his seat.

"I.. I'm... sorry..", he mumbles quietly, but you still heared it. Surprised by this, you can't help but let out a low chuckle, which instantly catches his attention.

"I just want to help you, Kuni. If there's anything I can do to help with the stress, let me know. Just, please don't ever treat me like this again."

Hearing you say that, he closes his eyes and nods his head, relieve washing over his body. And for the first time in a few weeks, he decides that it's not too bad if he shows up a bit later, just to make up for the time he missed spending with you.

Tighnari

As head of all the Forest Rangers in Gandharva Ville, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence for Tighnari to be stressed. It happens quite frequently, actually. And although being stressed regularly isn't a good thing, it helped him come up with ways to handle it and destress again after a long and tiring day. Because the last thing Tighnari ever wants to do is let out his frustrations on his partner.

He's usually very great about communicating when he's particularly stressed, and if his words aren't a dead giveaway, then usually his tail and ears are. When things get too overwhelming for him, his tail hangs a bit looser than it normally would and his ears would also fall a little bit more. It almost makes him look like a soaked puppy. You'd tease him for it if that wouldn't sour his mood even more.

But this time, it was something different.

He wasn't particularly stressed with work or anything. But one one of his patrols through the forest, he ran into an undiscovered species of flowers. All exited about it, it has been all Tighnari has been focused about for the past two weeks.

It's all he's been talking about as of late, if you even get the chance to talk to him in the first place. Most of the time, he's cooped up in his little work place, often forgetting to take meals and breaks because he's so focused on studying the little plant and learning everything there is to know about it.

You bring him meals on a regular basis, but if you really want him to eat them, you'll have to stay with him and nudge him consistantly to take a break and eat, or he'll forget about it.

You tried talking to him about it, but he keeps shutting you down, claiming that it won't last much longer, only until he knows enough about it to figure out if it can be used in some new medicines and such. Though he did promise you to try and focus back on you and Collei a bit more.

That promise lastet for one whole day before he skipped out on dinner plans with you and Collei again. You decided that enough was enough, so the next day after the dinner, you went to him to confront him about his inexcusable behaviour.

He was exactly where he had always been these past days, you were sure he heard you approach him, since you didn't exactly try to sneek up on him, though he did not acknowledge your arrival at all.

"Tighnari, we need to talk.", you begin, walking over so you were now standing next to him, your arms crossed in front of your chest. He didn't even look up when you adressed him.

"Later, (Name). I think I'm onto something here.."

"No, not later. Now!", you stay firm, not wanting to delay this talk any longer.

Hearing your response, Tighnari answered with an annoyed sigh, but he finally placed his tools down and turned to look at you.

"Fine then. What's so important that you just have to interrupt my work here?" He raises an eyebrow, almost like he's challenging you, like nothing could be important enough for you to justify this interruption.

You however stand your ground, holding his gaze firmly. "Your behaviour is what's wrong. You've been so focused on this stupid thing that you forget about the people in your life. Like yesterday. You promised to have dinner with me and Collei. She didn't show it, but I know how sad and dissapointed she was when you didn't show up. Again."

"I'm sure Collei understands perfectly fine just how important my research is, unlike some other people, it seems." Hearing this from him, you couldn't hold back the pent up anger and frustration anymore. You unleashed it all which in turn made Tighnari even more defensive and soon enough, you were in the middle of an heated argument, your shouting to be heard by almost every single person currently within Gandharva Ville.

And though almost everyone was on your side and agreed that Tighnari had been working too much, they also felt a bit bad for him. No one would want to be at the recieving end of your anger.

The argument kept going and going, emotions continuing to boil up inside both of you, until one particular statement went over Tighnari's lips. "You know what? I don't have time to deal with you right now, (Name). I have far more important things to do. I don't need you constantly lingering around and distracting me. Honestly, you're annoying me."

Suddenly, it became almost deafeningly silent and a second later, his words catched up with Tighnari. His eyes went wide and he was about to say something, but you beat him to it.

"So, what? We don't matter to you? Am I just some form to pass time when you have nothing better to do? Is that all our relationship is to you? And what about Collei? Is she also not important to you?"

Tears were brimming at the corners of your eyes and Tighnari wanted to reach out to wipe them away. He hated to see you cry, even more so now because he was the reason for it in the first place.

His hand moved on instinct, but before he came even close to touching you, you turned on the spot and dashed out of his hut, leaving him standing there.

"Wait, (Name)!", he shouted, taking off and running after you. You were fast and had a head start, but he has always been the faster runner between the both of you.

Outside the Village, he caught up to you and caught you at your wrist. You came to a halt, but refuse to turn around and face him. You don't want him to see you crying, though you're both aware that he already knows that you're crying.

"(Name), please. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I even said it to begin with. You're not annoying me, never. Our relationship is important to me, very much so. I realize now that I made a mistake by focusing too much on my research and neglecting you. And Collei, too. I promise to do better from now on."

"..You've already promised me that once, and didn't keep it. Why should I believe you now?", you question him, which he couldn't blame you for. Your voice was shaking, you were trying so hard to hold back the tears, his words from before obviously still clinging to you.

"You have every reason not to, but I swear to you, that this time will be different. I swear to you that I won't let this happen, ever again. Please, trust me."

You stay silent for a bit, desperately wanting to believe him. In the end, your heart wins and you slowly turn around to face him. A small nod is noticeable before you're being pulled into his arms, his hand coming up to hold the back of your head against him.

You both stay like this for a bit, just enjoying to be in each others presence again. Only then does Tighnari realize just how long he hasn't had the chance to hold you like that, and he silently curses himself out for his own stupidity..

Heizou

Being a renowned detective comes with many benefits, but also a lot of disadvantages at the same time.

The more cases Heizou solves, the better his reputation gets, but he also makes a lot of enemies, especially in the high society fields. Not everyone always agrees with his view on justice and how he wants to achieve it, but Heizou doesn't care. So long as he follows what he thinks is right, he won't falter.

However, he is thankful to the gods above for a partner like you, who's supportive of his beliefs and decisions. He loves that you don't question him and that you understand how important his work is to him.

He knows that you've already had a lot to sacrifice for him. How he sometimes has to cancel date night because of an important case, but he's always made up for it more than enough.

So yeah, you're aware just how important his job is to Heizou. You truly understand..

But it has never gotten to a point like it has now.

For the past week, you haven't seen your boyfriend. At all.

He doesn't come home anymore, he's either cooped up in his office or out and about searching for clues. Kujo Sara told you that they've gotten a pretty serious case, one that Heizou leaped onto and is determined to solve, no matter what it takes.

Apparently, what it takes is for him to sacrifice all of his time and effort, probably forgetting that he has a life and a relationship outside his work, as well.

You tried to be understanding, even came visiting him in his office a few times with some homecooked meals or snacks. But every time you did that, he barely acknowledged you, barely even touched the meal.

You tried having some small conversations with him, but you either got short, one word answers or nothing at all besides a hum. Eventually, you gave up and just let him be, but it's been a week now since he's taken over the case and there's still no end in sight. And for the past three days, since your last visit to his office, you haven't seen or heard anything of your boyfriend.

So, on the eight day, you decided to try again. You cooked a nice meal for Heizou, packed it up and made your way over to the Tenryou Commission headquarters. Entering the building, you got a few nods as greetings from people who knew you, as you made your way straight to your boyfriends little office.

Arriving there, you took a deep breath before you knocked two times. When no answer came, your heart slowly began to sank. What if he's outside searching for clues again? Still, you decided to peek in regardless, just to be safe.

And sure enough, Heizou was sitting on his desk, multiple files and papers spread out in front of him as he was frantically reading through them.

"Hey babe.", you greeted him with a smile, but there was no reaction. Heizou didn't look at you and he didn't say a word in return. Still, you didn't want to give up just yet.

"I brought you something to eat. Figured you might want a break and something homecooked to eat."

You placed the lunchbox on the furthest outside position on his table that was still free, yet again, the action was not acknowledged by him whatsoever.

Twirling your thumbs, you wait for a few seconds, before you make another attempt at conversing with him. "So.. how's the case going?"

Suddenly, the papers fly to the desk, his hands slamming against the wood and finally, he turns to face you, though his expression looks almost furious. "It would go better if I didn't have such an annoying pest interrupting me all the damn time!"

Shocked at his sudden outburst, you stare at him. "Wow.. you don't have to be so mean about it."

"Apparently I have to, because you just can't take the hint when I don't engage with your stupid attempts at conversation making. Like, can't you see I'm too busy to entertain you right now, (Name)?"

His words stung, like he'd just slapped you in the face with them. Tears began to form, but you refused to show him just how deep his words had hurt you. But you knew that he knew. He saw the hurt in your eyes, and you saw realization flash through him as his words catched up with him.

But you didn't give him time to say anything else. He wanted you gone, so that's what you were giving him. Turning on your heels, you left his office, not bothering to close the door behind you. You could hear the yell of your name coming from Heizou, but you ignored it.

On your way out, you passed Kujo Sara, who gave you a pitying look as you walked past her. You didn't want her pity. You just wanted your boyfriend back, but it seemed like that was out of reach for now.

When you were out on the street again, you didn't know what you should do now. Going home wasn't an option, there were too many things that would remind you of Heizou back there, and you didn't want to think about him right now.

The beach... a while ago, you found a beautiful, kinda secluded spot by the beach. You decided to go there for now, maybe it would help freshen up your mind and how to move on from here on out.

The waters were mesmerizing today. The waves were calm and the sun was reflecting off the surface. You sat down in the sand and just stared out to the horizon, your thoughts beginning to wander.

You were so deep in thought that you didn't notice the time passing, the sun soon beginning to set, dipping the scenery into a serene red that you only rarely get to see. A shiver ran down your spine, but you didn't care, you didn't want to go back home just yet..

"Here you are!", a voice suddenly cuts through the silence and you flip around, recognizing Heizou who's jogging over to you. However, you decided to pay him no further mind, turning around again and staring right at the horizon again.

You take notice of his presence now next to you, but you still don't say anything. No words are spoken between you two as he sits down next to you and does the same as you, blankly staring at the ocean.

There's no indication that tells you how much time passes like this, just you two sitting next to each other in silence, until Heizou speaks up again.

"I'm sorry. About what I said earlier. I shouldn't have done that."

"..Then why'd you do it?", you question him, no emotion in your voice. He hated to hear you like that.

"I... You just came at a really bad time. And I know that that's not an excuse. Not at all. I was so close to the breakthrough in the case and I just... snapped. Again, that's no excuse and I'm really sorry about that. When I realized what I had done, Sara was coming over to me, no doubt about to lecture me. I just threw my files at here, told here the updates and then chased after you. I thought you would be going home, but when I didn't find you there, I began searching all over the place for you. And I found you here, in the end."

He ends his little monologue with a shy smile, scratching the back of his head. Then, Heizou's expression turned serious again.

"I mean it. I'm sorry I snapped at you like that. You didn't do anything wrong. You were right, honestly. I kinda forgot about you and invested too much time to that case. I'm sorry and I promise I won't let that happen again, ever."

Hearing those words from him, you can't muster more than a small nod as a response. You didn't want to argue anymore with him, you just wanted to spend time with him and feel close to him again. That's all you wanted and needed right now.

So, you slid closer to him and leaned your body against his, your back against his chest. His arms wrapped around you from behind, his head coming down to rest on your shoulder.

Tomorrow, you could talk about this more with him. Right now, you just wanted to enjoy this moment with him.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin impact scenarios #genshin hurt/comfort #genshin impact hurt/comfort #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x you #scaramouche x you #wanderer hurt/comfort #scaramouche hurt/comfort #tighnari x reader #tighnari x you #tighnari hurt/comfort #heizou x reader #heizou x you #heizou hurt/comfort

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4ngel-inc · 4 months

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𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀 — "𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖔𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖐𝖓𝖊𝖊𝖘, 𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙 𝖌𝖎𝖗𝖑." ࿐

notes: after chuuya catches you flirting with dazai, he's intent on reminding you you're his.⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

warnings: mdni. fem reader, adult themes. chuuya makes you beg for it (lovingly). blowjob, handjob, verbal degradation. 2k words.

the idea of flirting with dazai in front of your boyfriend had probably been a little, ill-planned—sure. but you couldn't help it, you'd been feeling so neglected lately. was chuuya even still in love with you, the way he claimed? maybe you were making the relationship out to be more than it was anymore—he'd been busy lately, sure, but after a year together, you worried you two had passed the honeymoon phase and he was simply. . . bored of you.

you used to catch him stealing glances at you often—sweet little moments just between the two of you. moments when doubting his love for you was the farthest thing from your mind.

but lately, you felt invisible. lonely. you tried to lure your good qualities to the forefront of your mind and keep them there—pretty, smart, funny, kind. you'd do anything for chuuya—and you prided yourself on your devotion. but things were starting to feel a little one-sided, and your insecurities were taunting you—snickering and hiding behind a corner each time you felt chuuya pull away after only one or two kisses, tears threatening to spill from your eyes each time he rolled over and fell asleep without his head on your chest—a usual nightly routine just a few months ago.

everything just felt so. . . disconnected. you weren't sure he still cared for you at all.

you missed running your fingers through his soft hair, missed the times he would seek you out in a crowd after a meeting just to steal a kiss before any of the other port mafia members noticed—pressing your back into a hidden corner and slipping his tongue into your mouth for even the briefest taste of you.

you remembered the times he would litter your face with gentle kisses each night, whimpers of i can't get enough of you, baby filling the lustful void in your mind as he breathed sweet little praises against your neck, buried deep inside you and erasing all other thoughts except chuuya, chuuya, chuuya.

things were just. . . different now. you couldn't explain it.

and that was how you found yourself in your current predicament—you knew chuuya was upset when you realized he had sent one of his men to call you into his office, rarely shifting his mind from work until his daily tasks were completed. even so, you couldn't deny the gluttonous excitement bubbling in your stomach as you peeked your head in, "can i come in?"

"please do," he stated firmly, quickly abandoning the paperwork in front of him and rising to circle his desk before taking a seat there, leaning against the polished wood.

you stopped midway to his desk, noticing how his stern and cold eyes pierced you like knives. maybe this was a bad idea, after all.

"chuuya?"

he crossed his arms, eyes never leaving yours. "what the fuck was that earlier?"

"excuse me?" you feigned, "don't swear at me."

"why? you have no problem disrespecting me."

"and what is that supposed to mean?"

"you know what i'm talking about—cut the bullshit. why the fuck were you hanging all over dazai earlier?"

for all things chuuya was good at, swearing was one of his greatest talents. and unfortunately, you were no stranger to his frustrations making you wet. he was just so damn good at being pissed off—the angry flush on his cheeks igniting something primal and slutty within you.

"i wasn't?"

chuuya rose from his desk, approaching you slowly and taking your jaw in his hand, caressing it softly. you almost thought he would kiss you—would finally give you the attention you desperately craved from him.

"my pretty girl—you are many things, but stupid isn't one of them."

you scoffed, annoyed now, "oh, so you do still think i'm pretty? haven't heard those words in a while." your pettiness was seeping out slowly, and chuuya looked genuinely confused at your words. "why do you even care? you don't want me around anyways."

"what?" he looked mentally and physically taken aback, and you were starting to feel a little guilty. "i- when did i say that?"

"you didn't have to, chuuya. you don't look at me the same now."

"what? so-that's what this is about? that's why you were fuckin' laughing and having a grand old time with that piece of shit? trying to make me jealous or something?"

he laughed darkly. you knew chuuya well enough to discern his anger rising by the shift in his voice. he did his best to hide his temper around you—and he'd never been cruel to you—but you were testing his patience.

he smirked at the realization this was all a ploy for his attention, and exhaled deeply. he stepped closer to you, and you weren't sure if he hated you or wanted you as badly as you wanted him in that moment.

"if you wanna talk about this, then be straight up about it. no more games." his eyes were soft then, a hint of sadness in them. "what's the matter, angel? be honest with me."

his words made you want to crumble, and you realized just how childish you had been. "i love you- but- i feel that you've forgotten about me." your voice was small and laced with insecurity.

"how so?"

"i just don't feel it, chuuya. i don't feel loved, don't feel needed," tears were teasing the corners of your lashline, "do you- do you even still want me?"

he looked shocked at the question, your vulnerability and the pain in your voice clearly having an effect on him. "how could you ever think i don't want you? you're the only thing i want."

only silence filled the space between you two. "i've just. . . been busy, i guess." he sighed and pulled your hands into his, softly and delicately, kissing each knuckle as you softened at the touch of his lips on your skin. "i wasn't doing it on purpose, but i'll be better."

you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders as he embraced you, burying his face in the curve of your neck and inhaling deeply.

"promise?" your voice was muffled against his ginger hair, broken from the emotions you were feeling all at once.

he reached up to wipe your eyes, "i promise, baby. don't cry. never want you to feel neglected again. work is just stressful. . . it's not an excuse, but i'll be better," he repeated.

"i'm sorry."

"i'm sorry, too, sweetie." he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you tenderly—so not all was lost. however, as his lips parted from yours, you saw a familiar, unsettling darkness return to his eyes. "but, i can't forgive you."

"wh-what?"

"get on your knees, sweet girl. you're gonna make it up to me now."

—

"you wanted my cock, right?" he was laughing almost psychotically, and for a moment, you wondered if arahabaki had invaded his mind once again—it was only the deep blue of his eyes that reassured you.

"ch-chuuya?" your hand stroked him lazily, despite the apprehension in your eyes as you kneeled before him, pathetic and desperate to bring him to his climax given how hard you'd been working at it for the past hour.

a mixture of your saliva and his precum dripped down your hand and wrist from how passionately you'd been sucking his cock, despite the fact he'd pulled it away from you countless times, no doubt punishing you for your earlier transgressions.

"you think this is a fuckin' game, don't you, sweetie? messing with my heart like that?" his hand was squeezing your jaw, forcing you to look him in the eyes for the hundredth time. "my pretty girl, lookin' so fucked out for me, god, you're pathetic."

you were kneeling in front of him, exactly as he liked—your cute little ass in the air as he leaned back in his chair, his cock and balls on full display as his legs remained parted, a pool of wetness evident on his desk chair just beneath his heavy, aching balls from how many times he'd made you gag on his dick, pulling you off him each time just before his climax arrived.

"you want it?" he repeated, gripping the back of your hair and holding you just out of reach of his cock, and you nodded pathetically, eyeing the wet tip, glossy and leaking from how hard you'd been working to make him cum—you couldn't think of anything you wanted more than his hot cum flooding your mouth, but he refused to give you your prize.

"almost thought i'd lost you to him—do you have any idea how that makes- me- feel?" his words were punctuated by the wet slapping sound of his dick on your tongue, only teasing you with the taste of him for a moment, not letting your mouth engulf him fully yet.

it was back and forth—it'd been hours, it seemed, since you'd been playing this game. he pulled you close, let you suck him off until you were sure he'd be releasing into your mouth at any moment, only to pull you away at the last second, a mixture of a moan and a laugh escaping his lips before you could fully taste him—all of him.

"chuuya- fuck-" you whined. "don't you wanna cum, baby?" you attempted to manipulate the situation—to convince him he wanted his orgasm just as much as you did.

"not as much as you want me to," he replied, looking down at you with that same sadistic smirk.

as tears threatened your eyes again—out of frustration for wanting him, for needing him, for loving him so much, his eyes finally softened at the realization you'd reached your limit, scooping you up into his arms and moving you to straddle him in his chair.

"ah, don't cry my sweet girl—" he ran his fingers through your hair, looking at you with all the love in the world, the same chuuya you'd missed so much. "i'll stop teasing ya now, c'mon baby, fuck me. . ." his hands gripped your ass as you started riding him.

"i'm yours—always will be. just don't break my heart like that again." his words became strained as you picked up the pace.

"will you finally cum for me? c-cum inside me."

he smiled up at you, your arms around his neck and lips just barely grazing his as you both panted and moaned, your climaxes approaching quickly, "of course, angel. anything for you."

"chuuya, i-i love you."

"love you too, pretty girl. never letting you go. don't give a f-fuck about anyone else—you're mine."

#— love notes: [chuuya] ୧ ‧#bsd x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd x you #bsd x y/n #bsd fluff #bsd smut #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x you #chuuya x y/n #bungo stray dogs x reader

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angelltheninth · 6 months

Text

There is More in You

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, struggles with self-worth, kissing/making out, words of affirmation, grinding, suggestive towards the end

Word count: 1.1k

Flufftober Day 30: Self-Worth / Self-Love

A/N: Have to have one last bit of angst with this flufftober and who better to have it with then Miguel. Also... should I make a spicy version of this?

For the past few months you've seen Miguel go from normal sleep, to few hours of sleep to you not even seeing him sleep at all. He claims he does sleep, but it's always a few hours he gets in his office chair, which isn't the most comfortable even for him with his powers. Worst then that his injuries have been getting more severe, from little scratches to bruises to his hands trembling when he'd put them in ice to stop the bleeding. It was self-destructive, dangerous, reckless, you knew it and so did all of his friends. But he doesn't listen to them.

"He'll listen to you, he always does." Lyla droned on as she hovered around you. "I tried talking to him and he shut me off, can you believe that guy? Me! His best ever assistant!" You've never seen a hologram so offended before.

"You don't think I tried? He tells me not to worry, that he's got this, that he's fine." Frustration kept building inside you for all those times when be brushed your concerns off with a smile and kiss. "Where is he anyway?" You've only seen him briefly when you ate together and even then he didn't say much to you, not like he used to.

"Where do you think?" Lyla pointed in the direction of his home office, where Miguel spent a lot of his time lately.

With a heavy sigh you thanked her, "I'll go and talk to him. Thanks Lyla."

"Any time. Good luck sweetheart." At least she still called you that. You missed hearing it from Miguel's mouth.

Opening the door you didn't find him at his desk, but on the floor doing push-ups, his hands wrapped up, still healing, same with his ribs, "Oh hey. Time to eat yet? I'll be out soon, I just got to-"

"No Miguel, it's still noon. Do you even know how long you've been in here?" His quick glance at the clock told you he had no idea, "Since dinner. You didn't even come out for breakfast. You… for gods sake Miguel, you spend more time in here then you do anywhere else." You wrapped your arms around yourself and looked at him, "Then you do with me." Your voice came out small, hurt, insecure.

He jumped up, ran his hand through his hair and looked at the mission reports on the desk, "Ah, I know I've been busy lately. But you… it's important that this… I really need to make sure everything is perfect."

"Perfect for who? Because I can tell you that everyone is worried about you. You don't sleep, you don't eat, you're throwing yourself into dangerous situations all the time and then you expect me not to worry. In case you for got, I'm your wife, so I don't get to stop worrying about you." He briefly looked at the wedding ring and photos on his desk, then back at you.

"You don't get it. I have to-" He paused, lips pressed together in frustration.

"Then help me understand. You hardly even talk to me anymore. I know your work is important and I don't have crazy superpowers like you and your friends, but I'm always here for you." The look in your eyes softened when you stepped closer to him and pressed your hands gently against his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat.

Miguel shook his head, frowning, "I know, and it's because of that… I need to do better. If I can't keep you safe, if I can't keep my team safe, if I send them on the wrong track, if I can't protect them…. if I can't do that then… what is all this for?" He gestured around the room, the inventions, the pictures, at himself, the bruises he has, "What am I for if I can't make sure you're safe?"

Rarely did you see him on the verge of tears. Frustration yes, stress, but not this distraught. "You work hard." You kissed the right side of his jaw, "You take care of your friends." The other side, a bit longer of a kiss, "You make sure to give them time with their loved ones." One kiss on his shoulder, "You're there if they wanna talk." Then the other shoulder, "You make sure to leave me messages when you leave." A very long kiss on his neck, "You can be such a romantic." You needed to raise up on your toes to place a kiss under his ear, "There is so much more to you then being a leader." Another kiss on his chin.

Miguel's eyes fluttered, big hands grasping at your hips, pulling you close. He all but melted against your affections. "I love you. I'm so sorry I haven't been showing it like I should have. You're right, and I can do better. I promise to do better."

"Haven't you been listening? You have to relax more, lean on other people, why not let Peter do a few things? Or that detective guy? Or… I don't know the one with the cool cowboy hat? You don't have to do anything alone. You can rely on me too." He half huffed, half chuckled before he kisses your lips, "And you know what else you're really good at?" You leaned in close, "Something that you've been neglecting lately…" His eyes dropped to your lips, no, even lower, "You're a damn good kisser, Mr. O'Hara."

"I am? I'm afraid I don't remember that? Could you please remind me, Mrs. O'Hara?" The grins disappeared off both your lips when they came together, pushing, pressing against each other like it's been years since they touched. Miguel's hands went up your body, against your smaller shoulders, holding you close to him while you pressed yourself further up, hands around his neck.

Changing the angle you sought to deepen the kiss, licking past his lips, against his fangs. Miguel groaned into your mouth, a sound that you haven't heard in this context for a while. You found yourself walking backwards, hitting the door, trapped against him. His lips left yours, but not your body, seeking the skin of your neck to latch onto as he hoisted you up, your legs hooking around his hips.

It's been so long since you felt him like this you couldn't stop yourself from moaning, seeking friction, rolling your hips against him, kissing every inch of him that could. How long has it been since you've had this? According to the ache between your legs, way too long. At least this time he was ready to do something about it.

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara imagine #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara fluff #miguel fluff #marvel fluff #spiderverse x reader #atsv x reader #atsv imagines #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o’hara #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x you #x reader #flufftober

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elllisaaa · 11 days

Note

this is so sunghoon </3

you're so real for this sweetie, i couldn't agree more and you know how much we love the sunghoon x bookworm agenda in this house so here we go again 🤭

SUNGHOON who always feed on your obsession for books and literature, spoiling you with a new one every chance he gets. he loves how sparkly your eyes become when you talk on and on about the new book that you finished, and he loves to see you so passionate about it, he could literally listen to you during hours.

what he does not like though is how he asked you to get ready for your date night almost one hour ago and how you're still in your pyjamas, laying in bed with your book. when sunghoon asks you for the ninth time when you plan on starting to prepare yourself to go out, you claim once again that you just want to finish this chapter. and when he asks you one more time and you answer the same thing again, sunghoon cannot take it anymore.

"hoon ? what are you doing ?" you asked, confused, as he climbed on the bed, settling between your legs and spreading them. you try to push his hands away but his grip is too strong.

"i'm teaching you a lesson, since you're too smitten by your book to listen to me." your voice and the protestation you were about to let out die quickly in your throat, replaced by a loud moan when sunghoon fingers pinch your clitoris harshly through the material of your panties. "you're going to read out loud for me doll, and don't dare miss a word or i'm not letting you cum."

you knew better than to answer him directly, only nodding your head at him as he pulled your panties off your body. you were only wearing one of his shirts now, while sunghoon was already in his pretty outfit, hair neatly done. and the way he looked at you through his lashes when he dived into your cunt had you moaning uncontrollably.

but you still tried to follow his commands, reading each word carefully however very slowly. with each passing second, your voice was shaking more and more, your hands barely holding your book up.

"hoon, please…" your plea forced your boyfriend to detach himself from your pussy, his lips swollen and covered in your juices. but that didn't stop him from landing a harsh slap on your cunt, making you cry out and almost drop your book. "i don't think your book says that babydoll. stay focused" and the smirk on his face is just as annoying as it's attractive. you want to wipe it out and at the same time, all you want is for his mouth to be back on you. and he does just that, gaining another noise of pleasure from you.

and you really try your best, but the way sunghoon is eating you out like a starved man while pinning your hips down to the mattress is driving you crazy. you can feel his cocky smile against your folds when your speech starts to get slurred, far too fucked out to form a coherent sentence or even see the words on the page in front of you anymore. "i-i can't hoon ! need to cum, please, please ! i'm- aah !" - "you're so miserable with only my tongue, it's cute."

tears begin to gather in your eyes when he starts teasing you with his fingers too, the pleasurable feeling ultimately becoming too much. you didn't even make the effort to read anymore, your vision too blurry to see anything in front of you. you tossed it to the side, taking a hold of sunghoon's hair instead, only able to whine and beg at this point.

"you're such a brat, but whenever i touch you, you lose all your attitude, isn't that funny doll ?" sunghoon loves how you're only able to moan in response. "come on, cum on my tongue since you've been a good girl." that was all you needed to let go, messing up his perfect hairstyle but sunghoon couldn't care less as he reminded you once again how much better than your little books he was.

#i'll never get over this concept i swear #don't ever stop fueling into it sweetie #eli answering your questions #eli's moots #dinna's asks #enhypen hard thoughts #enha hard thoughts #sunghoon hard thoughts #sunghoon hard hours #sunghoon smut #sunghoon x reader

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lesbianrobin · 8 months

Text

you were warm when everything was cold

5,470 words

lucas/max, steve/eddie, lucas-centric

Lucas can't stop staring.

“Whaddya think?” Eddie twirls, showing off every angle of his borrowed letterman jacket with Harrington embroidered across the back. “So, Harrington? Gonna take me to the prom?”

Steve laughs, taking Eddie's outstretched hand and spinning him around again. “What, are we going steady?”

Eddie gasps. “Why, Steve, what kind of girl do you take me for? Of course we're going steady, I don't just go parking in cars with any old boy!”

Steve dissolves into laughter, pulling Eddie close by his belt loops and resting his forehead on his shoulder until the laughter subsides. Eddie runs his hands through Steve's hair aimlessly, playing with the strands, and shit, Lucas needs to look away, but he just can't.

“It looks good on you,” Steve says, so low that Lucas can barely make it out. He raises his head from Eddie's shoulder, leans in close so their foreheads are pressed together.

“Would you be mad if I added a few patches?”

“You can add patches if I can fix up the rips in your jacket.”

Eddie frowns. “Hey, I earned those rips.”

“And I earned my letterman.”

Eddie hums. “You'd make a good housewife.”

“How's that?”

“Well, you like to sew.”

“It's a basic life skill!”

“That you often practice for fun. You do all the cooking, you look after the kids, you love to clean…”

Steve clicks his tongue. “Only one problem there, Munson.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows. He's doing a terrible job of hiding his smile. “Oh really? What's that?”

Steve lightly grabs Eddie by the front of his jacket. “I'm not doing all that for a bum.” He pushes Eddie back a little just to pull him back in, knocking their foreheads together.

Eddie gives up on hiding his smile. “Oh, a bum?”

“That’s right. I need a man with a good job. Steady paycheck.”

“I provide.”

“You think I'm gonna raise children with a drug dealer?”

Eddie laughs, shakes his head, leans even closer to Steve, and—Okay, yeah, Lucas has gotta look away. He turns back to the pile of clothes he and Max have been sorting through.

Max is looking right at him, single eyebrow raised. Lucas’s stomach drops. “What?”

Max shrugs innocently, looking down to the stack of clothes in her lap like nothing happened. “Nothing. You like this?” She holds up a dark blue turtleneck sweater.

“Uh, for me or for you?”

“You, I can’t stand stuff around my neck like that.”

It does look soft. “I’ll try it.”

Steve apparently has an infinite abyss for a closet. Every time Lucas thinks Steve must have brought down the last of it, there’s another box, another armful of sweaters and t-shirts and polo shirts that Steve doesn’t need anymore even though they’re functionally indistinguishable from the stuff he wears every day. He’s got a lot of jackets, too, and Max has already claimed three for herself while Lucas has yet to snag one. Probably because he’s been distracted from their treasure hunt by… Well. He’s not sure what.

There’s something about watching Steve and Eddie that makes his chest ache, just a little bit. Something that feels like it’s just out of reach, like if he could just jump an inch higher he could grasp it and know what it is, have a name for it, figure out what feels like it’s missing with Max. He never felt like something was missing with Max before. She was perfect. She is perfect! Like, sure, not actually perfect, because nobody’s actually perfect, but she’s perfect for him just like he hopes he’s perfect for her, and they’re perfect together.

Maybe Lucas is overcompensating.

Max has been more present lately. More herself. Honestly, if anything, she’s more herself than ever. Vecna gave her this… confidence, sort of. Sureness in herself. Like, she just has this aura now, like she’s been to hell and personally kicked the devil in the nuts, and even though he knows it’s because she did essentially go through hell and personally kick the devil in the nuts, Lucas still kind of loves it. It’s like he’s dating the actual Max Max, or Ripley from Alien.

And yet. Even though Max isn’t hiding anymore, even though they talk now, even though their relationship is objectively better than ever, sometimes Lucas is just a little bit sad.

—

Movie nights are becoming worryingly essential to Lucas's mental wellbeing.

It doesn't have much of anything to do with the movies. It's how he feels safe surrounded by all of his friends, how the darkness forms a blanket to block out the rest of the world. Everyone that matters is right there in the glow of the TV. He knows they're all safe.

Right now, half of them are asleep.

Erica conked out early. So did Robin, who's curled up into a little ball and snoring lightly against Steve. Steve is awake, but Eddie is asleep in his lap, Steve's arms around his waist and chin resting on his shoulder. Dustin is awake, but he keeps jerking his head suddenly, like he's trying to keep himself up, and Lucas figures it's just a matter of time before he's out, too.

Max is awake. She's lying on him, and Lucas knows from experience that his arm is going to fall asleep pretty soon if she doesn't move, but what kind of guy asks his girlfriend to get off of him? Maybe a guy who doesn't even like girls.

But he definitely likes girls. Like, that's not even remotely up for debate, and it's not some deep-seated repression thing, it's just the truth. He loves when Max lays on him, up until the point where his arm gets numb and tingly. So what gives? What's the problem?

Lucas closes his eyes. He tries to picture Max with short hair, although Eddie's hair is long, and El's is short, so maybe that doesn't mean anything. He imagines her with a sharper jaw, although Dustin's jawline is soft, and Nancy's is sharp, so that probably doesn't mean much either. He imagines a Max with broader shoulders, maybe an inch or so taller than him, a Max he has to lean up to kiss, a Max with more than just peach fuzz on her upper lip.

He's not particularly into it, but he's not repulsed, either. Franken-Max is still beautiful. Handsome. Lucas still loves him. But that's a bad example, probably, because he already has feelings for Max, and changing some superficial stuff doesn't change the feelings. Who's a hot guy celebrity? Max likes Ralph Macchio. When he thinks about Ralph Macchio, though, all Lucas really feels is jealousy, maybe a little bit of disdain. So he thinks of Han Solo. Lando Calrissian. Luke Skywalker. They aren't bad-looking, sure, but Lucas doesn't feel too strongly about any of them, appearance-wise. Maybe he just can't find guys in movies hot.

His mind drifts, as it often has lately, to Steve and Eddie. It's not the way they look that has Lucas obsessing over them. He knew Steve and Eddie both long before they were Steve-and-Eddie, and he never had this kind of fixation on either of them before. Well, sure, maybe he's spent some time looking at Steve's arms, but that was more of an athletic inspiration thing than anything else. What is it about the two of them together that's so fascinating?

So many little scenes are burned into Lucas's brain. Eddie holding the door for Steve, calling him sweetheart and babydoll and a thousand other little nicknames that make Lucas's face and ears go hot. Steve carrying Eddie piggyback through the rain because Eddie was wearing those ratty old Converse with the floppy sole and Steve was worried that if he stepped in a puddle he'd get frostbite or trench foot. The two of them sharing clothes, wearing each other's jackets. The way they move, how sometimes when the radio's on they'll dance, and first Eddie's the girl, and then Steve's the girl, and neither of them is actually a girl, and it doesn't even matter, it's all just whatever's fun in the moment, whatever makes them feel good, and holy shit. Oh, shit. Oh, God.

Lucas wants to fall asleep during movie night in Max's lap. He wants her to drape her jacket over his shoulders when he shivers. He wants her to put her arm around him, hold him like he's precious. He wants Max to want all of that, too.

His arm feels numb. If Lucas were a girl, or if Max were a boy, he'd ask if they could switch places. But he isn't, and she isn't, and what kind of guy asks his girlfriend to get off of him so he can use her as a pillow instead? Lucas isn't sure if there's a word for a guy like that. If there is, it probably isn't very nice.

So he lets his arm go numb. He tries not to look at Eddie, at the way he nuzzles into Steve's chest and Steve just holds him closer.

“Hey,” Max whispers in his ear. Lucas jerks a little in surprise and she huffs out a laugh. “You okay?”

“What?”

“You've been spacey lately,” she murmurs, “Usually you'd be trying to figure out the logistics of all the Muppet action.”

She's not wrong. Lucas is fascinated by how they make the Muppets ride bikes and stuff. There must be a lot of wires and people involved.

“Everyone's asleep,” Lucas whispers back, “Didn't want to talk. You know Erica hasn't been getting much sleep lately, didn't wanna mess it up.”

Max shifts, pulling Lucas' arm around her shoulders so she can snuggle into his side. It's a bit better, but now he's gotta endure the pins and needles phase.

“You're sweet.”

He can almost hear it, sweetheart like how Eddie says to Steve, but that isn't Max's style and it's silly of him to even think about it. It's not like he wants her to change. It's just nice to imagine a world where none of the gender shit really matters and they can be like Steve and Eddie, and Lucas can be held and feel safe because the real-life Ripley's got his back.

God, he's pathetic. Lucas sighs, flexing his arm to encourage that terrible tingling to run its course. He has an amazing girlfriend and he's whining about nothing. Well, whining to himself. In his head. It still counts. It's still total pussy behavior.

Lucas pulls Max closer, kisses the top of her head. He can feel her head turn to look up at him, but he keeps his gaze leveled at the TV, and she doesn't say anything. They're fine. He and Max are fine.

—

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

“Huh?”

Max turns her head sideways to take a bite out of her hot dog. It's cute. She always gets ketchup and mustard smeared on her nose if she just bites straight into it.

“It goes both ways,” she says, chewing, and it should be gross, but it's not, really, because it's Max. She finishes chewing and swallows before she opens her mouth again. “I'm your friend before I'm your girlfriend.”

“You got some…” Lucas picks up a napkin from the picnic table, leaning forward to wipe a smudge of ketchup off the corner of her mouth. He kisses her, quick, because he's there anyway, and she smiles into it before shoving him away.

“Nice try. You gonna answer me?”

“Answer what?”

Her smile fades. It's replaced by a look of concern that makes Lucas feel nauseous.

“You can talk to me. You know that. Right?”

"Right." Lucas takes a sip of his Coke, just for something to do with his hands.

“I'm not…” Max looks down, sighing before she meets his eyes again. “I'm doing better. I can… you don't have to be okay all the time, you know? You can tell me things. You can tell me anything.”

God, his chest aches. Lucas reaches out and takes her hand.

“I know,” he assures her. “I know.”

He hasn't seen Max look this deeply sad in a while. She looks down and lifts their entwined hands, pressing a kiss to the back of his knuckles, and his heart flutters.

“Okay,” she says. She lowers their hands, drops his, and picks up what's left of her hot dog.

As she tilts her head to the side and gets mustard on her cheek, Lucas gets the distinct impression that she doesn't believe him.

—

When did he start spending so much time around Steve and Eddie?

It sort of makes sense. He used to spend a small amount of time with Eddie, a moderate amount of time with Steve, and then they all went through some shit and bonded and Lucas's Eddie time got bumped up to moderate, and then Steve and Eddie became an annoyingly adorable package deal, and now Lucas can't escape them. He's a little pissed, honestly. Fuck them for being gay and in love and equal and shit. Ruining his life. Lucas has never really been the type to envy other people's happiness, and he feels like maybe Steve and Eddie are making him a worse person. Before, he always figured that if his friends are happy, then he's happy, and that's it.

Upon further reflection, though, it occurs to Lucas that perhaps he just never had friends with much of anything to envy.

“You look adorable, sweetheart,” Eddie states out of nowhere, and some small part of Lucas still expects Steve, with his jungle of chest hair and unreasonably large biceps and many years of womanizing, to shove Eddie away, to reject the sweet kiss Eddie presses to his cheek, but he doesn't. Of course he doesn't.

Lucas suddenly recalls the wild look in Steve's eye, the ferocity in his voice, the strength with which he batted the demodogs away back in the junkyard. It feels like so long ago.

Steve does sigh a little. When Eddie tries to move away, Steve tugs him to his side and kisses the mass of curls on his head. The vibe is kinda weird today. Steve seems… off. So does Eddie, but Eddie is so perpetually strange and erratic that Lucas could just be making shit up.

“Okay, okay,” Robin says, more to herself than anyone around her, “I think this is it? Yeah, this is…” She squints at the binder in her hand. “Okay, yeah!”

She hands over the impressively large binder to Steve and Eddie, who each hold one side so that it'll stay open and Robin can read her sheet music. Robin raises her trumpet to her lips. She pauses.

“Just remember, this is, like, totally unofficial, and I'm only playing one part, so it—”

Mike groans. “Oh my god, just play it.”

Nancy flicks his ear. He bats her hand away.

Robin waves Nancy off just before she delivers what looks like a devastating smack to the back of Mike's head. “No, he's—yeah, I'm gonna play it.”

She raises her trumpet, takes a deep breath, and then Lucas is hearing an incredibly loud rendition of the Star Wars theme reverberating through Mike's basement. It's honestly, like, really impressive. When Robin finishes, Lucas claps and whistles, and Mike says, "Holy shit, that was awesome," and Dustin and Nancy cheer too, and Robin's bashful smile warms Lucas's chest.

“Just imagine it with, like, a bunch of other trumpets and trombones and a tuba and some other horns and I think there's, like, piano and synthesizer and maybe a timpani too, but I think it sounds okay just with the trumpet. I mean, nowhere near as good, but you can, like, recognize it, you know?”

Robin's concert continues. This was supposed to be a big group study session, but Lucas doesn't mind the delay. Steve doesn't even need to study, he's just here because he's Robin's ride, so he'd probably say something if it was a problem. She plays Fly Me To The Moon and a few others that Lucas vaguely recognizes. Eventually, Robin tires, packing the trumpet away and condemning them all to hell.

“This shit sucks,” Dustin mutters, flipping a flashcard back and forth without looking at it.

Mike sighs his agreement.

Lucas shrugs. “At least we're not Eddie.”

All three of them glance over to where Nancy and Robin have been drilling Eddie for the past hour, only to find that he's nowhere to be seen.

“Huh. Guess he had enough.” Mike sounds jealous.

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom,” Lucas says, “Do me a favor and kill me when I get back.”

“Kill yourself,” Mike says.

“Don't worry, I'll kill you,” Dustin says supportively, “I'm a real friend.”

“Thanks.”

Lucas leaps over the coffee table to avoid disturbing the pile of backpacks and textbooks on the floor. He takes the steps two at a time, enjoying the chance to stretch his legs after an afternoon of sitting on Mike's couch. When he gets to the bathroom, the door is closed, and he reaches for the handle but freezes when he hears a voice.

“...didn't mean it like that,” Eddie says.

Lucas puts his hand down, but he inches closer to the door, just shy of pressing his ear up against the wood.

“I know, I already said it's fine.” Steve sounds tired.

“But it's clearly not because you're upset.”

“I'll get over it. You had a point.”

“Well, yeah, but I was being a total dick about it.”

“You know I don't mind a dick with… wait. Wait, I meant… uh, I'm used to your… shit.”

“You're used to getting dick from me? Or… uh, you don't mind a dick when it's mine?”

Steve snaps his fingers. “Yes! Yeah, those. Ugh, you're a genius.”

“No,” Eddie whines, “Don't be nice to me right now, I feel evil.”

“Ed, it's literally fine. You're right, it doesn't matter if I look perfect every time I walk outside.”

“But you do, that was my point, you don't need to worry about—”

“Eddie. Let it go. It's fine. I'm fine.”

“Can I just… Okay, I know this morning it seemed like I was just being an asshole because you were making us late with your hair stuff, but can I just explain what I meant to say?”

Steve sighs. “Yeah. Yeah, sure, go for it.”

“I just… I see you freaking out all the time about how you look, and what people think of you, and it's not that I think it's dumb, because I can understand wanting to feel confident and wanting people to accept you, but the thing is that you don't have to do that. You don't have to. You are the kindest, sexiest, most badass person I know, and that's not something you have to put on for other people, it's just who you are. So it drives me crazy to see you driving yourself crazy over who thinks you're a loser and who thinks you're a douchebag and all of that, because not only does it not matter at all what some random assholes think of you, but, like, when you're just yourself? When you're just being yourself, Steve, everyone falls in love with you, that's how I fell in love with you, and it breaks my fucking heart when you feel like you need to put on some kind of act or have perfect hair or whatever for people to like you, because you don't.”

Silence. Lucas waits, afraid that somehow they realized he was listening, but then Steve speaks, his voice thick with emotion.

“You love me?”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes immediately. “Yeah, I hadn't mentioned?”

“Mm, no, no, I think I'd remember if you—”

“You sure? You forget things a lot, you know—”

“Oh, shut up, I love you.”

“Ardently?”

“If that means a whole lot.”

“More or less. Means passionately. It's, uh…” Lucas can hear the embarrassment in Eddie's voice. He doesn't think he's ever seen Eddie embarrassed before. “It's from Pride and Prejudice.”

Steve laughs. “God, I love you. Then yes, Eddie Munson, I love you ardently.”

“And I you, Steve Harrington,” Eddie says, with a tinge of that regality he uses for upper-crust NPCs, but it sounds sincere at the same time, nothing about it even remotely artificial. “I love and admire you ardently.”

Lucas backs away from the door. His head feels kinda… buzzy, as he walks to the upstairs bathroom. He shouldn't have been listening in. That was a private moment, seemingly an important one, but Lucas has terrible impulse control lately and he has that feeling again, that one like he's reaching up for something that's barely out of reach, his fingers brushing it when he jumps, but he just can't quite jump high enough to get his hand around it and bring it down to his level.

When he gets back downstairs after his overly long bathroom break, he says he's feeling sick and heads home early. Steve seems concerned, but even as he asks if Lucas needs anything, he has this air about him, like he'd float right off the ground if his shoes weren't weighing him down. It's been a long time since Lucas felt like that.

He goes home. He switches out his jeans for sweatpants. He lays in bed, he stares at the ceiling, and he wonders.

Steve has kind of been, like, the pinnacle of being a man to Lucas these past few years. He's cool. He's strong. He's brave. He always goes in first, always comes out last, always puts himself between the people he loves and the source of danger, and Lucas wants to be like that. He's always tried to be a good friend, to listen and empathize and help when he could, but once the world shifted and suddenly bullies weren't the biggest threat in everyone's lives, he was left reeling.

He can still remember fumbling with his wrist rocket, shooting rocks at the Demogorgon because there was nothing else he could do, and he remembers the dawning realization that he was going to fail, and that his friends were going to die, and that it was going to be because he wasn't strong enough.

Steve fought off the Demogorgon.

He had a bat, yeah, and a lot more height and muscle than Lucas, but still. He did it. And if he could do it, then maybe so could Lucas one day, if he just kept working out, kept practicing with his wrist rocket and watching The Karate Kid. In retrospect, Lucas's logic wasn't great, but he was in middle school, so whatever. He's gotten a lot smarter since then. The wrist rocket is more useful for distraction than outright combat, and karate moves aren't really that helpful in a fistfight.

Steve was just… always solid. He always bounced back. He could take the worst beating Lucas had ever seen and then get up and save the world, and he was always okay at the end of the day, always Steve underneath no matter how bloody and bruised he was on the outside.

Lucas has never been hurt like that, but he's still had nightmares for about four years now. They never really go away. They aren't constant, but every time he thinks maybe he's kicked it, they come right back and leave him panting, sweaty, trembling with the lamp on at three in the morning because he needs to have a light or else he won't know that something's coming. He worries about not being strong enough. He worries about not being enough in general.

According to Eddie, all this time, Steve's been worrying too. Worrying what people think of him. Trying to earn his keep and be what everyone else wants him to be. Showing up late sometimes not because he was too cool to care about being on time, but because he was trying to make sure he looked perfect before going out in public. Eddie wasn't just complimenting him out of the blue earlier for no reason, he was trying to reassure him, comfort him, because Steve Harrington has insecurities. It should have been common sense, but the knowledge hits him like a firework to the face, lighting everything up and leaving Lucas disoriented in its wake. What else has he been missing?

When Steve and Eddie started dating, they didn't, like, announce it or anything. They just didn't hide it, and eventually everyone got the memo, and Lucas is still deeply ashamed of the fact that he was one of the last to realize. It was less about the fact that Steve was dating a man and more about the fact that Steve was letting a man stroke his hair and put a leather jacket on his shoulders and call him dollface, like, seriously. Lucas thought it was a joke. In his defense, he thinks a lot of Eddie's little nicknames are jokes, but there's also something painfully earnest about them that he recognizes now, like each one is a little I love you, and it had been hard for Lucas to see Steve as somebody who wanted that, as someone who needed reassurance and affection and wanted to be treated with care.

Maybe Steve has nightmares too. Maybe even muscles and a nail bat aren't enough to keep the demons at bay. Maybe if Lucas stopped hiding the fact that he needs reassurance and affection and sometimes he wants to be treated with care, maybe if he talked to Max… But Max has had to deal with so much worse. It wouldn't be fair to just dump all of his issues on her, too.

God, she'd be mad if he said that out loud. Lucas can almost hear her voice, saying something like, don't decide for me what I can and can't handle, and he smiles, alone in his room staring up at the ceiling, because he's been a little bit of an idiot.

If even Ripley can need some support now and then, why can't he?

—

“You seem lighter.”

“Hm?”

Max nudges his leg with her own. “That thing you've been weird about all month. You figure it out?”

Nobody is paying attention to them, sitting on the floor in front of Mike's couch side by side. The others are all debating something to do with DnD, he thinks, but he hasn't really been paying attention. Max rented The Karate Kid, and the two of them have been focused on the movie while everyone else got distracted.

“I think so,” Lucas says, and takes a chance. He leans over, resting his head on Max's shoulder, and immediately her arm comes up to wrap around him.

“And you're not gonna dump me?”

Lucas sits up to look at Max incredulously. “What? Why would I dump you?”

She looks embarrassed. She leans in and lowers her voice. “Okay, don't be, like, offended, and this might make me sound stupid, but I noticed you've been looking at Steve and Eddie a lot lately.”

“Oh my god,” he mumbles, and Max laughs.

“So, you’re not…”

“No.”

“That’s good.” Her eyes widen a little bit as soon as the words leave her mouth. “Uh, I mean, that’s good for me as your girlfriend, not, like, in general. And I mean, obviously you could like guys and still like me, but, you know, you seemed really deep in thought, so…”

Lucas laughs. “Wait, so you thought I was, like, having a sexuality crisis, and you didn’t…”

“I didn’t want to push you on it,” she shrugs, “I figured you’d tell me when you were ready. But then you just seemed like you were getting more upset about it, and you were doing that thing where you pretend like you don’t have feelings—”

“What? I don’t—”

Max raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, you do.”

“...Maybe.” Lucas sighs. “I kind of was. But that wasn’t… it wasn’t about, like, guys. Trust me, I tried, and the closest I got to being into a dude was you.”

Max’s face scrunches up. “Me?”

“It’s… listen, I was going through a lot of hypotheticals!”

She giggles. “And one of them was me as a guy? Was I hot?”

Lucas shrugs. “Yeah, I wasn’t not into you.”

“High praise.”

“No, it was…” Lucas trails off, unsure of how to say it. He turns back to the TV and lowers his head to Max’s shoulder again. She lets him, wrapping her arm around him, and actually, how did Lucas ever think this would be wrong? It’s Max. It’s only Max.

“I wanted this,” he mumbles.

“This?”

He grabs her hand where it rests on his arm. “Yeah. You know, they always… like, I just wanted you to hold me.”

“Lucas,” Max says, her voice uncharacteristically tender.

“I’m not saying I wanna be all gross like them, but… I don’t know.”

“...Could I give you my jacket sometimes?”

“Oh my god, yes,” Lucas says, and Max laughs.

“You don’t even know how many times I’ve wanted to give you my coat because you never learn—”

“I learn!”

“No, you dress for fashion instead of function and then you freeze your ass off!”

Lucas laughs too, turning to bury his face in Max’s dark blue jacket, one of the ones she snagged from Steve, and she tugs him closer until he’s practically sitting in her lap. He feels light, like he might float away if she wasn’t holding on to him. But she is. She’s holding him, and she’s laughing, and none of their friends seem to have noticed anything different. It’s just Max, and Lucas, and they’re better than ever.

—

Lucas holds the door for Max, letting her enter Family Video ahead of him. Steve and Robin are at the counter, Robin gesturing wildly as usual. Steve raises a hand, waving as Lucas and Max approach. “Hey, nice jacket, Sinclair. Is that one mine?”

“It’s mine now,” Max says, wrapping an arm about Lucas’s waist and pulling him into her side. “He only wore a t-shirt even though it’s freezing out because he needed everyone to see his arms.”

He rests his arm over her shoulders. “I don’t need to bring a jacket, I have you.”

She rolls her eyes. “You know, one of these days I’m not gonna take pity on you and I’m gonna let you freeze to death.”

Lucas hadn’t even been cold when Max took off her jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders. She had just done it out of the blue, stepped back, grinned, and said he looked good.

Robin sighs. “Ugh, you two are adorable. See, Steve, this is what I’m talking about!”

“And I’m telling you, all you have to do is have a conversation like a grown-up!”

“But it’s scary,” Robin whines, leaning her forehead against Steve’s chest and groaning. He pats her head comfortingly.

“I know. Max, I got your stuff on hold right over there.” Steve nods at a small stack of tapes on the counter. “Already checked them out for you.”

“You had stuff on hold?”

Max had spontaneously decided she wanted to have a home movie night instead of going to the theater, and Lucas had assumed it was just because she didn’t feel like going out.

She pulls him over the counter, and Lucas sees all three Star Wars movies in a neat pile.

“Surprise!”

Max isn’t that into Star Wars. She likes watching horror movies on date night, and she hates sitting through more than one movie at a time, but here she is with three space operas and a tentative smile on her face, and Lucas can’t help it.

“I love you.”

Max raises her eyebrows before dissolving into laughter. “That’s it? This is the moment?”

“Yes, shut up!”

She does not shut up. Max continues laughing. “Really? Because I rented Star Wars?”

“Because you know me.” Lucas grins. “You love me.”

“Well, yeah,” Max says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Like he’d said that the sky is blue or that El’s a superhero.

Lucas hears a high-pitched squeal, and he turns to find Steve with a hand clamped over Robin’s mouth. Her eyes are wide and excited.

“Go have your little date before she explodes,” he says, waving them off.

“Thanks, Steve.” Max takes the tapes and turns to the door. Lucas jogs ahead to open it for her.

As Lucas follows her outside, part of him feels like he might just float off the asphalt right into the clouds, but he doesn’t worry about it. There’s no need. Max is right there, and he’s wrapped in her jacket, and she’s taking his hand for the short walk from the store to their bikes. No, Lucas won’t float away.

Max will keep him tethered.

#lesbianrobin.fic #stranger things fic #lucas sinclair #lumax #steddie #st fic #em talks #stranger things #btw this was written prior to volume 2!! pls keep that in mind #i've had people on ao3 be like uh but lucas HAS been hurt like that 🤨 and it's like i know but that had not happened yet. sorry.

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rosedom · 8 days

Note

Credits to @/////alhaithamtit

corrupting an innocent guy into a whore. turning him from someone who had little experience in sex, to a slut whining and begging to be filled with your cock. it didn't matter to him which hole would you use, as long as he could feel you inside of him.

Gods, yeah. Imagine meeting a cute guy, so innocent and inexperienced. They didn't have much interest in sex because it doesn't faze them when they were being seduced. Watching porn doesn't do the job either. They'd rather find ways to impress you than to waste time on stuff like that..

It took them a while to realize after years of only being able to think and dream only of you, did they realize that they like you. As in like like. Woah! Who would've thought? A total shocker? For him? For anyone? No. When he realized he wasn't shocked at all! It only explained his behavior and his disinterest towards sex and romance in general. Because they're not you!

The others? Oh please, they noticed right away. He'd literally reject them and their offers to get to know him personally or to hang out with him and stuff.. Always asking you if you're coming and if you're not he'd rather stay at your room, reading books and doing homework in there because it brings him so much comfort with your smell and stuff,.. Rejecting people who try to flirt with him and say "sorry. Not interested." Straight up no bullshitting. Also would straight up say "sorry, can't. 「 name 」's got a date. I need to help them get ready."

Imagine the shocked faces those poor souls have.. It's funny.

cute guy who is a virgin because he's never interested in sex. Cute guy who rarely rub one out because he'd rather focus his time and attention on you. Who prefers to not spoil himself because he wants you to do it. Cute guy who knows the basics and what sex is and stuff but was so innocent enough because he was never interested...

But.. shit,.. Ever since the day he accidentally saw you jerkin' off.. Your huge cock and the way your moans sounds. He couldn't take his mind off of you. He doesn't understand why his pants feel so tight at just the sight of you, you're not even touching him! He was never this reactive too..

He'd gulp. Hard. Trying to swallow down his arousal as his breathing quickened. He wants to suck it, lick it, worship it— wha? What is he even thinking! You don't even like him like that!

Cute boy who's life is ruined because of you. First he realized he liked you as more than a friend. Now his body and mind is only thinking of you. Cute guy who whimpers at the thought of soiling himself to the thought of you.. Cute guy who searches online and stuff..

imagine your surprise when your cute friend asked you out! A blushing shy mess of the usually composed and indifferent guy, saying he likes you! A lot! You also liked him but he never showed interest in relationships so you dropped it. Who would've known..

Cute guy who gives you his first, fully vulgar from all the research he did.. Opening up and spreading his slicked hole and begging you to claim him as yours. Moaning out your name, only able to think of you with heart eyes..

You were surprised at how vulgar he was being, his words and actions a stark contrast to the fact that he said he's a virgin and never had any personal relationship out side of your friendship with him.. You're too aroused to think clearly though..

More. More more more more! He wants more. More of you. Gods, he's so happy. So fucking happy he's in utter bliss. He can't live without this. Without you. Now that he's got a taste of you he's addicted. Addicted to your touch. Addicted to your taste. Addicted to you. You you you.

Fuck.. He can't go back anymore.. Always craving to have you. Whether is inside or on or just the knowledge that you're watching... He can't even sleep without dreaming of you and waking up so wet..

Fuckk.. He's a goner. A whore and a slut now, for you. Only for you. It's okay though. You find it hot. ♡

ur so right ,, i'm literally insane over corruption sometimes . . .

the idea of a pretty boy so head over heels for you, his cock isn't even his priority ! all those months, years of pining, though—he'd be so pent up, but he probably wouldn't even realize it ! that is, 'til that fateful day he catches you jacking off (the door to your room left cracked open . . . whether or not that was on purpose from you, well—guess we'll never know); after that, his mind has tunneled, left to replay that scene over and over and over again, the most delicious of tortures to our sweet lil' virgin;(

all those nasty sites, those dirty talkin' audios that he's left to fuck himself silly to . . . he's just imagining you, the way you'd spread and fuck him open, the way your voice would surround his mind in soft cotton . . . he never imagined before just how quickly his lil' cock could control his mind, but, now that it's here, he can't imagine going back.

he surprises even himself when he asks you out, but the biggest surprise is just how . . . vulgar he is, writhing beneath you for the first time. his only experience is with his own hand and the naughty videos he's watched; so, really, it's to be expected how he mimics the whining cries of a pornstar, the way the dirtiest words and phrases fall from his lips as you're opening him up in preparation to take you.

it'd have to become your personal mission, then, to fuck him so silly and brainless that he doesn't have the wherewithal anymore to be anything but your cute, perfect lil' whore—one who can do nothing but whimper and whine for your cock.

he's just your sweet, corrupted lil' sex-drunk boyfriend now<33

#ㅤ✦【 INBOX 】#sub male character #ftm smut #ftm sub #genshin smut #dom reader #top reader #holyyyyyy #😵‍💫😵‍💫 this was so !!#i'm so sorry for taking so long !!!#i wanted to do ur idea justice ><

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daisybianca · 5 months

Text

pairing: lewis hamilton x yn

summary: lewis is kind of a mafia type of guy here, but he still remains the best f1 driver in history with 8 championships (!). mafia means that he kinda kills people. he's always hot put now he is double hot. idk if that's even possible, but anyway. you're his girl, and he sees that someone made a bruise on your hand. spoiler alert: i doesn't end well for the guilty man.

warnings: lots of cursing words, sexual actions, mentions of death, etc

(a/n): it is written in 1 pov, from his point of view. though it couldn't get any hotter? nah, it can.

WHEN I UNLOCK my mansion's door and come see my girlfriend crying, three completely different options pass through my mind.

One. Killing someone.

Two. Making someone regret.

Three. Doing both of those after kissing my woman's tears until the don't exist anymore.

I rush to her on the couch, not even bothering to shut the door behind me. "What happened, baby?" I get on my knees and try to hold her close to me. She doesn't meet my gaze. She's hidden her face behind her little hands, but I can still take a glimpse of her scorching hot, red cheeks. "Hey, y/n, talk to me." I try to persuade her, even though it seems impossible.

"P-please," she stutters, and something dark and colorful captures my attention on her left wrist.

Fuck.

It's a bruise. A fucking bruise. A huge one to be exact.

I try to compose myself. It's not even enough. I think my jawline starts to tremble, and I don't even notice at first. "Y/N," I force her to look at me, forcing her hands away off her beautiful face. Her features are soft but her precious eyes have turned swollen and her lips are tighter than ever. "Who did this to you?" The words come out sharp. I don't even think about them to be honest.

She is my fucking woman. These are the rules. Nobody is allowed to touch her in a way that she doesn't want to. Not even me.

I cup her small face with both my hands. "Who hurt you, baby?"

I hear a soft cry and then she tries to speak again but doesn't manage to do it properly without stuttering.

Fuck, I won't look good in jail clothing.

I bit my lip in order to not lose it just at this fucking moment. My fists become a ball. My girl notices and places her little ones over my hands to stop the shaking.

"Baby, please," I mouth. "Tell me who the bastard is, and I swear, he'll never see sunlight again to touch you." Forcing myself to stand up, in a matter of seconds, I sit on the couch, and she's moved on my lap. I think I'm losing my mind each time she looks at me, and I don't know who to kill. "Just tell me a name, Y/N."

She finally stops crying. Fuck.

My heart jumps each time she attempts to speak but is unable to due to the silent sobs.

A few seconds pass.

A few more, too.

Eventually, I feel a hand pressing on my chest and immediately blood rushes straight to my cock.

Damn it.

Of course, my dick doesn't get the whole situation. It has a whole brain of its one. In fact, we are under hard circumstances right now. And surely, there can't be anything harder than that at the moment.

She hides her face in my neck. I place my hand on the back of it and wait.

I think my blood pressure is on its fucking limits when she turns to face me. "It's my ex." She blurts out suddenly. I want to laugh but I don't.

Oh this fucking bastard again... Though we were done with him by the time I threatened him with his life if he ever got close to my girl again. But he definitely isn't the type of guy loyal to anything. Not to promises, not to threats, not even to his ex-girlfriend.

"He asked to meet me. I said no, but he wouldn't understand. He was waiting outside my place this morning, claiming he'd like to talk. I wanted to get away from him, but he grabbed my arm and..." her voice breaks.

I hold her for a few seconds as the sobs initiate again. Afterward, I get up and make a very important call. Returning, I am very pleased to meet a much-better-looking, without-any-tears woman sitting on the couch and scrolling through her phone.

Noticing me, she looks at me. I try to smile. "He'll be dead till midnight." Sitting next to her, I take her on my lap and kiss the dry tears off her cheeks.

And then I start undressing her, not because my dick is asking for it since one hour ago, but because she seems in the mood for it.

"I just want you to fuck me, Lewis." She says as I press my palm around her neck and spread wet kissing along her breasts. "Fuck me like you hate me."

I smile. "Baby, I could never hate you."

"Just do it for an hour," she moans against my ear. "Please."

I stop to look at her, laughing. "An hour?" I rise my eyebrows. "Love, you underestimate me."

She laughs too, and we're off to upstairs, where one of the mansion's bedrooms is located.

I want to make love to her, truth to be told. Passionate and delicate. But she asked for a rough fuck.

She knows I'm a man capable of doing both. So I proceeded to doing them.

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stinkysam · 1 month

Text

Lucifer Morningstar - Past.

Warning : none

Genre : angst

Synopsis : “Lucifer discovers why you're in hell.”

Reader : he/you

A/N : haven't written anything in months so I'm a bit ugh rusty hope it's good !

Lucifer didn't know how you landed in hell and he often wondered about it.

After all, you were one of the nicest soul he met and nothing in your behavior or stories about your life on earth explained anything about it.

So to him, you simply must've done a little thing that didn't please heaven. Heaven could be really strict with their rules.

But you were on the path to redemption ! You stayed at Charlie's hotel to redeem yourself from whatever small harm you did on earth. And if Charlie's plan works, you would go right where you belong, in heaven.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy !

Sure, Lucifer would miss you, and be sad to not have you around anymore, but if it's heaven you want, then who is he to stop you from getting it. You deserve it, he's sure of that.

He even had prepared a duck that looks just like him, for you, so you don’t forget him once you're in the sky. And one for him, that looks just like you, so he'd never forget about you. Not that it would ever happen.

He was so excited he even told you about it one day as you visited his place, but hadn't shown you the duckies in question, claiming you could only see them the day you would leave for heaven.

You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around him, kissing his cheek, trying to peek over his shoulder and into his office to spot them. But he quickly realized what you were doing and kicked the door closed with his foot, his arms holding you close against him.

You laughed, squeezing him tightly as he did the same thing, both trying to knock the wind out of each other's lungs for fun.

“You can't win.” He said with a wheeze, squeezing you harder.

You had to tap his shoulder to get him to stop, admitting your defeat with a sigh, relieved to not have crushed ribs.

You kissed his forehead as Lucifer looked proudly at you.

“You still can't see them.” He pointed and you grimaced with a groan.

Lucifer loves you, truly. It had taken time and patience but now he was sure of it and confident in his feelings for you. He looked at you smugly, his pointy teeth showing as placed his hand on the small of your back, making you walk with him.

Since he had rekindled with his daughter, he would come unannounced to visit her and get updates on how things are going. Trying his best to avoid Alastor who seemed to enjoy having him here. Only to get under his skin each time he had the occasion.

When he wasn't annoying him about Charlie, it was about you. And today seemed to be about you.

“I know something you don't.” The radio demon smiled, tilting his head to the side pointing toward you. But the king of hell didn't seem to notice.

“Ah ?” Lucifer’s eyebrows rose, not that he was particularly interested. “And what makes you think I-”

“About [Name].” Cut him off Alastor with a sing-song voice as he approached you at the bar. At Lucifer’s silence, the demon continued. “I know why he is in hell ~” He wrapped an arm around you, his claws like fingers almost planting in your shoulder.

You turned around to look at Alastor, confused and nervous. He wasn't… going to tell him, right ? But Alastor turned you so you would face Lucifer.

Lucifer wanted to respond that he didn't care what you did, he knew you and knew you did nothing horrible or truly bad, but upon seeing your nervous stare, he looked at you instead, silently. He had nothing to worry about, so why are you looking at him that way ?

Alastor leaned closer to you, his arm still wrapped around you.

“Tell him. Isn't honesty part of the process of redemption ?” His smile only grew as his eyes squinted, his claws feeling heavier against your shoulder.

Lucifer seemed confused, not understanding why you would be so nervous. You didn't do anything… right ?

“What… did you do ?” He finally asked, placing his hand on top of yours, wanting to reassure you that he was with you no matter what.

Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, sweat appearing on your skin.

You knew what Lucifer thought of the sinners, how he hated what they did with the free will he gave them… What you did with it.

You hadn't planned to befriend him or to fall for him but you couldn't help it. The fallen angel was just so lovable, you couldn't avoid him eternally and ended up getting closer and closer.

You knew one day this would happen, he would learn the truth about you. But you hoped that being in the Hazbin Hotel would help you. Help him know you were not the same person as you were on earth.

“I was hum… I- erm…” You looked away and back at Lucifer, following your eyes. “I was a… a serial killer.” You say with a nervous smile, the last part was barely audible, but sadly, it was loud enough to be heard by the king of hell.

Lucifer froze. His eyes showed pure shock and it even seemed like he was getting pale. His reassuring smile was gone.

“You're joking, right ?” He manages to say. “This is not really funny.” He adds with a nervous laugh. But you avoided his eyes, too ashamed to look at him.

He pulled his hand away from yours and looked away. He wanted to say something to try and be nice, but he couldn't. You didn't deserve any niceties.

Lucifer quickly glanced at Alastor and glared at him. The radio demon had won this round.

You tried to speak, to explain yourself, why you didn't tell him sooner or even why you did what you did, but he stopped you. He didn't want to hear your excuses.

You could only watch as he walked away, disappointment and sadness evident on his face as Charlie followed him, confused.

Back at his palace, Lucifer couldn't stop staring at the duck he made of you. Squeezing it lightly between his fingers.

He felt betrayed and stupid for believing you were innocent, just another victim of heaven’s rules, when you far more earned to be here, in hell.

He was heartbroken. He couldn't believe he had let you get this close to him.

With ache in his heart, Lucifer fell asleep on his desk, the duck he made of you resting in his palm.

When he woke up, the ducky was still in his hand, and he looked at it sadly. He didn't know what to think.

On one hand, he should've expected something like that, it was his fault for thinking you being in hell was a mistake. But on the other hand, you had been so nice and understanding, patient and open-minded toward him, Charlie and the others. How was he supposed to guess you used to be a serial killer ?

He let go of the duck to place his head in his hands, sighing.

Lucifer loves you, he really does. But it's a hard to swallow pill you gave him.

He wants to hope you've changed. You're no longer the person you were on earth. After all, you're at Charlie's hotel to redeem yourself, right ? That must mean something.

He spends the next few days ignoring you, not that you had sent him any messages except “I'm sorry.”. You chose to give him space and time to think and decide what to do and he was glad you did.

You were anxious. Watching the last message you sent multiple times a day, hoping to get an answer, anything other than “read”. But you didn't push your luck, afraid he might block you entirely.

Lucifer didn't really know what to do, hesitating between messaging you and calling you or continuing to ignore you.

He clicked on the “call” icon and instantly panicked. Shit, what was he supposed to say ? Before he could hang up, your voice was heard.

“Hello ?”

A few seconds of silence followed as he stared at his screen before finally answering.

“Hello ! Yeah, [Name] ! Can we- can we talk ?” He said biting his lips, one hand anxiously pulling with his bow-tie.

“Yeah, sure ! Yeah.” You quickly replied, standing up automatically. “Where do you want to talk ?” You ask, sitting back down.

He thought for a moment.

“Hum… Why not the hotel. It seems… appropriate. Right ?” He smiled nervously and you could hear it in his voice. “I'll be here in a… uh… hour ?”

“Okay !” You exclaimed, standing up once more, earning a few stares from your friends.

When you both hung up, Lucifer was more stressed than anything. He tried some pep talk in front of different mirrors, preparing himself for what he would say to you. You mainly did the same thing but with Angel and Husk plus Charlie who was great at pulling your self-esteem out of the gutter.

You were determined in making Lucifer understand you had changed and had abandoned your murdery tendencies long ago. It was true after all.

Lucifer was holding his breath as he knocked at the door, anxiously waiting for someone to open it. He contemplated flying away from it but he straightened up as the door swung open.

It was you.

You adorned the same nervous and awkward smile as Lucifer as you welcomed him in. Closing the door behind him and quickly following him.

He was giving you another chance and you were not going to miss it. It's with determination you nodded at your friends, letting them know you were okay and could deal with it.

You patiently listened to each other as you both talked about your feelings and your time on earth. Why you wanted to go to heaven.

Turns out, you don't particularly want to go to heaven, you just wanted to do your redemption, and Charlie's hotel was perfect for that.

“I would understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore…” You said, looking down.

“No, I-” He places his hands on your cheeks, making you look at him. “Let's try again, shall we ?”

Your brows are furrowed in confusion and he puts his left hand in front of you.

“I'm Lucifer. Charlie's dad.” He says with a proud smile. “And you ?” His smile softens, waiting for your answer.

It takes you a few seconds to catch on and grab his hand, shaking it lightly.

“I'm [Name]. Nice to meet you.”

#male reader #m!reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel #hh x reader #lucifer morningstar x male reader #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer

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