#I don't regret not doing it because of where I am today; but like; sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liltaz-asatreat · 1 year

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5, 6, 7, and 10 for Meadow? :D

OC question list here!! <- send some in? :D

So this got really long because I never know when to shut up, so I'm putting this under a readmore lol

(Also, I explained some stuff in detail that I've already told you for the benefit of anyone else who might read this lol)

5. What are their regrets?

There's a lot of things Meadow regrets on a daily basis lol But there are quite a few long lasting big ones. Like the obvious enacting the Relic plan, not listening to Lucretia, and not being able to save Phandalin. Then there's two things he regrets from childhood: not running away from home sooner and simultaneously leaving his then six year old cousin whom he was pretty close to. He also regrets spending so much time fighting with himself during the decade post voidfishing and the fact that he was only able to get very little done and caused himself a lot more stress and heartache than was strictly necessary. And the fact that he can't just turn off his brain and go to sleep to escape his thoughts like other people can unless one of his bodies dies. And there's two things that happen during the fic that he comes to regret doing and/or not doing, but those are spoilers >:)

And then the two really big ones is the defining backstory moment of coming across the Word Weaver's Amulet (the Grand Relic they made) and giving it to Astra, their then best friend who I still haven't decided if they're just best friends or if there were romantic feelings involved. Every time I think I've decided on one, I end up changing my mind again, but regardless, they were really close. And Astra said she thought it was beautiful and really wanted it, and when they both came across it, they had been going on a walk to try and cheer Astra up and get her to clear her head because she was having a really bad day, so Meadow, famously unable to say no to anything even though they had the gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, gave it to her. The fallout of how she used the Relic and what exactly transpired is a spoiler, but she definitely dies which is how Meadow ended up with it again, and they've regretted everything ever since.

The second big one is, because during the Stolen Century, they were able to save Meadow's body from the Plane of Logic from the Hunger, and both of his bodies were on the ship for the rest of the century and until Lucretia dropped his Logic Body off in the Faerun's reality's Plane of Logic, Meadow was always up in one body or the other, by nature of that's just how he works, so he was awake when Lup was about to leave the Starblaster for the final time before she disappeared. He saw her before she left, and they had a short conversation where Meadow knew something was wrong, and he thought he helped her to feel better, which in all fairness, he did a little, but Lup still wanted to have some alone time and clear her head down on the planet and then everything that happened afterward happened. So Meadow regrets not stopping her from leaving or at least not going down to the surface with her.

And tbh, because of Meadow being awake 24/7, they had taken it upon themself/was designated to be the person on watch at night throughout the century after both of their bodies were on the ship because all of the others needed sleep and didn't have a fancy shmancy second body to be awake in after going to bed. So because they were up and because they had talked to Lup before she left, Taako mostly, but Barry too to an extent, kind of blamed them for her disappearance. Barry would never say it out loud, but I feel like Taako might have snapped at them once about it, but like, Meadow knew. At that point, they had known them for long enough that they could tell for sure it wasn't just their brain being mean and jumping to conclusions, they were acting a little hostile toward them toward the end there.

6. What are their biggest fears?

Everything lol They're a big ball of anxiety and stress-

No. Well, they are a big ball of anxiety and stress and are a very fearful person, but they aren't afraid of everything.

They are, ironically, very afraid of heights lol The only reason they agreed to go on the Starblaster mission was because they couldn't pass up the opportunity to go to space and explore the space between the planes and do all of that cool stuff. As soon as the opportunity came up, that was basically all they wanted to do and the thing they wanted to get most out of life because they love the stars and space and exploring and everything about it! And how they figured they could get around the height issue was that they could just stay away from the railing and stay toward the center of the ship, and maybe if there wasn't a ground or a metric in which to gauge how high up he'd be, he would be fine.

I think during the century he learned how to push past it mostly out of necessity, but by the time they made it to Faerun, and Material Meadow lost his memories, his issue with heights hit him full force again tenfold, and he has to fight to remain calm while traveling in the cannonball spheres and looking down from the moon base and all that lol

Then, of course, he has a normally paralyzing fear of failure that he has to push through to get literally anything done in the story and honestly, during the century.

And then they never had a good working memory before the voidfishing, so they already hated the idea of losing any more memories. The voidfishing exasperated that into a full blown near phobia of losing memories, especially really important ones.

And then there's the fear of losing everyone and everything permanently and the fear that everyone is going to leave him, especially for reasons they refuse to tell him, so he wouldn't understand why they decided to leave him in the first place.

And then there's the double related fears: Falling asleep while they're in danger because someone decided to wake them up on the other side, especially if they refuse to let them go back to sleep, and someone finding out about them having a double and attacking him or leaving him or ostracizing him because they either don't believe him, refuse to take it seriously, or outright hate him for it

7. How do they cope with stress?

LOL

List making! Mental breakdowns! But mostly they write. Poetry for the most part is their form of journaling, but sometimes they just write out their thoughts too. If they have an idea for a short story, they'll work on that too as usually a more maintenance kind of thing and not something they'd do in the moment of feeling very overwhelmed, and they never really have the time to try and write a whole novel or something. At least, for the most part they didn't. There was that short period of time during the decade where they were at the writing guild Lucretia sent them to in the Material Plane, the Ink Spill Guild, where they had the time to work on a novel because they were ignoring the instructions they were leaving for themself that they made when they actually remembered everything. And they might have been working on a novel, idk. Sounds fun and very much something I would do lol But after that, Meadow spent most of their time adventuring, and then when they got up to the moon base, trying to figure out where the second voidfish was and what the plan was going to be then now that they found Lucretia.

As for when they're in the Plane of Logic though, they didn't give themself as much time to write because they were struggling so hard to get their spaceship built and off the ground, both in the physical aspect of actually researching it and doing it and also fighting the paralysis they usually get when they get super stressed and scared/anxious about something. And the whole possibly being the only one of their family who remembers anything besides Lucretia, but only when they're on a plane where they can't really do much about it, and that means they might be the only person with a chance of stopping Lucretia from destroying the Material Plane and putting their family back together thing is kind of really stressful lol

To compensate for that, Meadow throws himself full force into building the spaceship when he's particularly stressed because it's something to do with his hands and is something that is supposed to get him closer to reaching his goal. Sometimes if they're stuck on how to do something to actually continue building onto the ship but can't focus on reading and researching or even thinking really hard, they take apart and put back together some other component that doesn't really need fixing.

He also sometimes lets Sparrow and their friends forcibly drag him away to hang out with them, and that makes him feel better and less alone. Also eventually talking to Barry helps even if when he does it, he doesn't remember their shared history, and Barry can't tell him anything about it yet, and also hanging out with Merle, Magnus, and Taako.

Back on the Starblaster, Taako and Lup also brought them into learning how to bake :>

And then when things are really shitty, sometimes they dissociate and just check out completely. On top of that, sometimes it'll happen as they are in an immediate stressful situation, especially if they're trying to talk to someone, much to their extreme annoyance because it's really hard to fight it off and come back to reality. They very rarely ever succeed at it.

10. Who is someone they miss?

Astra and Lup definitely, and Lucretia and Davenport and all of them. Even when he joins the Bureau and sees most of them again, he misses how their relationships with each other used to be and the fact that none of them, including him while he's actually physically there with them remember except for Barry and Lucretia. It's this weird feeling of simultaneously being super happy to see them while also still feeling very far away and disconnected when he's awake in the Plane of Logic because he's no longer there and he remembers Davenport being able to talk and Lucretia not holding them all at arm's length and lying to them all the time and being able to hug Barry and Lup being there and the other boys sharing almost everything and all of them being a family. He's able to enjoy being in their presence more, for the most part, while he's there and with them because he doesn't remember the history, but that just makes him miss them more when he wakes up and does remember.

They also really miss Fisher, and while they hang out with it and Johann sometimes, it's still not the same. Both because of the memory thing and also because, while it's Lucretia's fault for erasing everyone's memories, Fisher still had the power to do that, and it didn't broadcast it out after realizing no one could remember and that everyone was gone. So there's also a certain level of wariness and fear I think

And then they do miss their parents to an extent. I mean, they're their parents. And there were good times with them while they were growing up. And they also really miss their cousin that they were close to.

Also, even though Meadow is a self insert and I have siblings, I decided against giving Meadow siblings because, well, not only does Meadow run away from home and leave everyone behind when he's 14, but like, the Hunger and the end of the world happened, and it felt really gross and wrong to be like, yeah! Meadow is me and also all of his siblings died tragically during the apocalypse. I just can't do that. But! I needed a child relative substitute that Meadow would have been close to because an event that happens about them is the catalyst of Meadow finally deciding to run away. I felt like having them be a cousin was enough degree of separation for me to be more comfortable with especially since the event is probably only going to be referenced in a passing one sentence comment, if that, during the Chalice scene. So that's why the cousin exists

#thank you for sending this in; Sunny! :D #and also just a little extra ramble about a personal thing I guess:#the conceit of any of this story happening and Meadow leading the life that they do and did is basically; what if I had actually chosen to #run away at 14; and not only that; but succeed and *live*?#and also; of course; this was the world of taz balance; and the whole double thing #I like where I am now in life mostly; but tbh #that one moment I almost did it; that's my biggest what if #I don't regret not doing it because of where I am today; but like; sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been #ask game #double troubles

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rimunagenius · 9 days

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I Could Die For you

ʚ pairing: Kate Martin x reader

ʚ word count: 1.2k

ʚ warnings: RPF!! , fluff, fluff, literal fluff, so much love that it’s sickening

ʚ rimunagenius speaks: to make up for that last post about emily because what the flip!! also the first Kate fic i’ve released that hasn’t been in a series!! yay! also ofc i had to write Kate to one of my favorite love songs!!💕 if you guys do not listen to this song and love it, i’m quitting writing and reporting everyone’s blog…

| Women’s Basketball Masterlist |

Something inside the cards I know is right

Don't wanna live somebody else's life

Kate was so happy. She knew her life was exactly where she wanted it to be. Cold mornings like this, wrapped in the bed sheets, both your bodies wrapped together to create the most perfect fit to a puzzle.

With your head resting on her body, your nose nuzzling perfectly into her neck, your soft snores and exhales ticking her skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

The way your hand rested on her chest, and the way Kate's hand rested on your waist from the way she was holding you into her body. She knew she didn't want to be anywhere else but here. Lying here, wide awake admiring you and thanking god or whoever was out there, that she was able to do this, and do it with you.

This is what I want to be

And this is what I give to you because I get it free

"Oh my god, Kate." You stood in shock in your guys' kitchen. You had a rough day at work, letting Kate know that while you sat in your office, counting down the minutes until you could come home. So when you walked through the door and wandered into the living room where Kate was watching the NBA finals, she got up to greet you and took you to the kitchen, giving you the flowers and chocolate she picked up on her way home from practice today.

You had a new adjustments to make since leaving Iowa. Picking up your life and moving to Las Vegas with Kate when she found out she made the roster officially, after living in a hotel room during training camp. You loved her so much, and you had so much faith in the person she was and the skills she had, you knew moving across states wasn't going to be a regret you had years down the line.

Tears welled in your eyes, the overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation radiating from the blonde who stood a few feet away. "Aw, don't cry. Why are you crying, baby?" Kate walked up to you, wrapping her arms around your neck so you buried your face into her chest.

"Because. You do this for me just for having a bad day. Your days are full of stress with basketball, still proving yourself, and tired from your work. I don't deserve you, Kate." You were a mess. You missed a lot of things. You missed your old friends, how close your guys' family used to be, and you missed Kate while she was gone. You missed a lot of things—you've longed for those things, but you loved your life here with Kate. You two away from what you knew and grew accustomed to, to independently make what you want and need.

You loved it but you couldn't help but long for what used to be your life sometimes. "You deserve everything. You deserve the world and more because you packed your life up just because you believed in me. This is the very least I could do for you. I will continue to show you how important you are to me and who I am. You make me better so I'm going to show you every day til I can't anymore. I love you. You work hard and you deserve to be appreciated and seen."

That made the tears fall harder, but you looked up at Kate, and couldn't believe this was your girl. The woman you got to spend and do life with. You kissed her lips chastely, hugging her close again. You two stood there, looking at the pretty flowers and sharing some of your chocolate.

She smiles while I do my time

It was so early in the morning. Kate waking you up for a travel day for the Aces. It was an away game to Los Angeles and you wanted to make this game so you took the days off.

You hated getting up early, and the stress that came with traveling was truly not a great time. Kate knew it, but she loved that you were willing to do it for her. You didn't like most things, but the look on your girlfriend's face when you watched her do the thing she loves most, play the game that gave her many of the amazing opportunities she's had, it was all worth it.

Kate walked onto to the court, looking at you behind the Aces bench, and smiled. You already smiling right back at her. She knew that no matter how early she woke you up, or how many times she did it, you'd be there, lift her up, and cheer her on. You knew this was where you wanted to be.

I could die for you

It was the day after Kate had won the WNBA Finals, and you two had been lying in bed since last night. You couldn't believe that she had come so far from the little girl who idolized the Iowa Hawkeyes Women's Basketball team, to a woman who's grown into the most tremendously courageous and strong woman who won her first WNBA Championship. It was so surreal.

"You know I love you so much, right?" Kate whispered. One arm wrapped around you, pulling you close to her body, while her other hand held your thigh that lay across her hip.

"I would hope so." You giggled softly, looking up at the blonde above you, your hand went from her chest to the side of her face, resting against her cheek. You looked into her eyes, the blue of them convincing you more by the second that they were better looking than the sky outside.

"No, I'm serious. You are the love of my life. I would be so lost without you. I don't think I could live without you—let alone do what I've done this past year without you." Her voice wavered, you could tell her emotions still running high after the night she had last night.

"Kate, my love." You chuckled nervously, the confession making you giddy, but also overwhelmingly more in love with Kate, if that was even possible. It brought tears to your eyes.

"You make me so happy. Just being right here, with you, is more important to me than winning another ring."

"Oh my god Kate, stop it. You're going to make me cry. I'm so in love with you." You wiped a small tear that fell down your cheek. Kate smiled down at you, willing herself to not close her eyes and just die happy right here with you.

"I'm so in love with you, I could die." Kate giggled softly, wiping her eyes before leaning down and kissing your lips softly. You smiled into the kiss. You smiled so hard you couldn't even kiss properly. A fit of giggles came from the both of you.

"Ah! Kate, stop it! Oh my god, Kate!" You screamed and giggled as she left kisses and tickles everywhere she could reach, especially in your most ticklish spots. You two couldn't be anymore happier. Kate wouldn't want to be anywhere else unless you were there, under her arms or wrapped in them.

Oh, this life I choose.

You two were just simply two girls in love and wouldn't have it any other way.

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forbebeandjam · 1 month

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Kiss & Makeup | Bada Lee x Fem Reader | Fluff

Summary: You’re tired of chasing after her but she doesn’t want to give you up.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: mild cursing and make out.

A/N: Currently thinking about a part 2 smut for this one. What do you guys think?

"Wait! Bada wait!" You yelled as you chased after her. Your short legs were unable to catch up to her as she walked down the hall.

"Bada! Shit!" You said as she shut the door to the hideout. You never understood Bada. She hired you as her personal makeup artist three years ago and her attitude suddenly changed in the last few days.

You had to stay next to her throughout the filming of Street Woman Fighter 2 and it was draining.

Due to this, you knew about all of her deepest and darkest secrets. You knew that the relationship with her boyfriend was slowly crumbling away and maybe that's why her mood was changing.

Maybe that was the reason why she has been so mean and angry towards you. Because she knew she couldn't take it out on anyone else. And to be fully honest, you were tired of it.

Every time during touch-ups, she would be on her phone talking, or more like shouting, with her boyfriend about something. Whether it was about time, skills, cheating, or whatever other stupid things, you would hear it all.

So you had just come back from an agonizing fight. You had a pounding headache and you hadn't finished touching up her makeup since she decided to storm off. You sighed and leaned on the wall.

"Bada giving you a hard time again?" You heard a voice and your head snapped to where it came from. There you found Redy leaning against the wall as well with a sweet smile.

You were destined to have the same path but you gave up dancing for your family and you don't regret it since you always had Redy next to you to support your career and goals.

"Yeah. I don't blame her but I'm tired. I can't keep running around trying to get her ready for the camera if she doesn't let me," you said trying to fix up the makeup bag you had on your hand.

"Give her some time. Maybe she's just stressed," Redy said as she helped you put your things in order.

"But everyone here is stressed and not everyone treats me like that. I even do Jam's makeup sometimes and they are under more pressure but they are always nice. BEBE is nice to me as well so I just don't get why she's such an ass," you said causing Redy to chuckle.

"We all express ourselves differently. Is there something you do when she's feeling this way that might trigger her?" She asked.

"No... well... I try to get her mind off things by explaining what I'm doing and showing her the products but that doesn't change the fact that she's rude," you said.

"Ah~ I get it. I think she-"

"Y/N, can you come to touch up my makeup now?" You heard Bada's voice filled with sadness.

"Well, I have to go but I'll see you around," Redy said quickly getting up and walking away. You sighed and hung the bag around your shoulder to walk towards her.

You walked into the hideout and started patting away on her face using your brushes to accentuate her eyes and lips. You added a shadow to her beauty mark to make it pop and carefully curled her lashes with a hot wooden stick.

Suddenly you felt her grab your arm. You panicked thinking you had burned her.

"I'm sorry! Did I burn you? let me see," you panicked looking for aloe gel but she shook her head as she stood up.

"Why are you so quiet today?" She said with her raspy voice.

"Well, I just figured you weren't feeling well so for once I decided to give you some silence. I am also not feeling too well," you said.

"How come you were so chatty with Redy? You even called me an asshole. So, what is it?" Bada asked once more not letting go of your hand.

You dropped the brush as you felt her grip tightened around your wrist.

"Bada, let go. Now I have to wash and disinfect the brush," just as you were about to bend down to pick up the brush, she managed to pull you back up and pull you into her chest.

"Why are you so indifferent towards me?" She said.

"I'm not! Im just tired, okay?" You said as you pulled your wrist away and picked up the brush. You began to gather your things but paused in the process.

Maybe it was time to open up to her. Maybe it was time you told her how you really felt about her.

"I'm tired of always listening to your fights with your boyfriend. I'm tired of having to pick up the pieces. I am tired of having to deal with your attitude when you fight with him. I'm tired of chasing after you. I always have. In middle and high school, when we danced in the same crew, even when I graduated beauty school, I chose to be around you and I'm tired, Bada. I don't deserve this," you said as you closed your bag and swung it over your shoulder.

"I broke up with him," she said and you froze in your spot.

"Why are you telling me this?" You said as you looked through your bag for your car keys.

"You said you've been chasing me and I have to admit that I have been running away. I have been too scared and blind to see that through all my struggles you were right next to me. And you were right. I have been an asshole to you, and no matter how many times I push you away to not hurt you, you are still here. Why?" She asked this time. You felt her walking closer to you.

"Bada, let's not do this right now. you have to be on in fifty minutes and I really don't want you to be distracted," you said swallowing the true words you wanted to say.

She didn't say anything else and you made your way to your car. You knew she wouldn't follow you and you didn't expect her to. You planned to quit which was not your best option. You had no experience outside of being Bada's makeup artist and you were sure she wouldn't vouch for you if you found a new job.

Your thoughts were that she probably enjoyed having you behind her like a lost puppy. Or maybe she really liked your company but whatever it was, you didn't think your heart could take it any longer.

You couldn't believe that after all of these years, she had been so blind to your feelings. To the crazy love you have for her. How could she not see it after fighting your way through beauty school just to be her personal makeup artist?

You bit your lip as the tears threatened to escape your eyes. You couldn't cry. You refused to let anyone see you cry. You started your car and as you were about to drive, you saw a figure stand right in front of your car making you abruptly hit the brakes.

"What is wrong with you!?" You shouted as you honked at the dark figure before you. Suddenly they got in your car and took their hood. It was Bada.

"What are you doing!? I could've killed you. You need to be on that stage!" You said as you hit her arm.

"I don't go on yet. I have thirty minutes but I can't let you go like this. Don't walk away from me. I can't go onstage without you. I need you," she said as she gripped your arm. Her voice was filled with sincerity and her eyes were as teary as yours a few moments ago.

"What about what I need? It's hard enough having to deal with your nagging and attitude. You're never there for me," you said.

"Then let me be. Let me show you that I can be there for you. Let's start over again. Please stay," she said. You couldn't handle it. You were scared she was just messing with you again and the moment you gave in would all be the same.

"Bada don't do that," your last words come out as a sigh. You still refused to face her.

"Do what?" She said softly and you sighed once more in frustration. Turned to her harshly.

"Don't give me false hope. You will never see me the way I have seen you for all these years, Bada and it hurts, okay? It hurts to know that you will never love me the way I love-" Your words were cut short when she grabbed your head and planted her lips on yours.

A million thoughts and emotions rush through your body, making it difficult for you to process what is happening. Your heart was pounding fast and you were scared she might be able to hear it.

But that all went away.

It melted away when she moved her lips. You melted into her arms and moved your lips in sync with hers. Her tongue ran through your bottom lip asking for access that you gladly granted.

Your tongues massaged each other and you finally decided to break the kiss as you gasped for air. She connected your foreheads with her not letting go of your face. You could see a small tear escape her eye.

You two shared a moment of stillness when she suddenly kissed your cheek. She placed a soft peck on your nose, your forehead, your chin, and then your lips.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for making you suffer like this. I'm sorry I made you cry and tried to push you away. I'm sorry I used you for my own selfish reasons but... I can't live without you. Don't leave. I can't go on that stage without you," she had you in a warm embrace by this time and you were speechless.

"I have always loved you but I thought my life would only affect your career path. Then you came back to me and I was heartbroken when I saw you look at me dance with a wide smile on your face. I knew how much you wanted to be on stage with me. Please let me love you," she said not letting go of you.

Your soft sobs began to fill the car and she just held you tightly until your cries died down. She slowly broke away from the hug to ensure you were okay.

"Am I dreaming?" You said as you sniffled making her chuckle.

"It's all real. See? It's real," she said as she grabbed your hands and placed them on her face while she kissed them.

"Can you please stay?" She asked one more time. You felt a heavy weight lift off your shoulders. A huge smile was painted across your face and she kissed your tear-stained cheeks.

"I'll stay," you said and a warm smile adorned her face. You two shared a moment till a loud knock interrupted the silence.

"Bada, we need to go now. Share your lovey-dovey moment later!" Tatter said immediately when you rolled down your window.

The three of you quickly rushed to the stage and you tried to fix Bada's smudged lips and your own eye makeup.

That night you saw Bada shine on the stage like never before. Her charisma and smile were radiating and her energy was through the roof all because of you, defeating the opposing team.

After Daniel announced the winner, she blew a kiss at you not caring if there were fans or cameras around. She was finally the happiest she could ever be and she was determined to make you the happier you could ever be, by her side.

Thank you for reading and let me know if want a part 2🩵

#forbebeandjam #honeybee156 #street woman fighter 2 #bebe #swf2 #bada lee #fluff #street woman fighter x reader #bada lee imagine #bada lee fluff #bada lee x reader #lgbt

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mccardswife · 5 months

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We've got your back

lionesses x teen!reader

lucy bronze x teen!reader

summary: lionesses x teen!reader, where r struggles with social anxiety and her older teammates support her.

(this was a request, but the request disappeared. but here it is!)

warnings: social anxiety, angst, nightmare, fluff and mentions of panic attack, please remind me if there is more tw! (do not read if you get triggered)

word count: 2826

i hope you like this one, i loved the request and i got really satisfied with the oneshot!

hope you enjoy!

——————————————————————————

You zoned out again, probably for the dozen time this week. It is England camp and you know what that means, I love all my england teammates trust me. They are like my family but I have a secret no one knows about, not even my teammates at Arsenal.

I have social anxiety, i feel very ashamed by it. It is so embarrassing that I need to take medications to function, and even when I take them I don't feel like myself.

It was day 2 of england camp. Which means we arrived yesterday. I am roomies with Lucy this camp because Jordan is with her lover (Leah). I love rooming with Lucy, she is like a mother to me. She is very protective but I try keeping my diagnosis a secret from her. Sometimes I even call her mom.

I am 17 now and when i first got called up to the national team I was 15 so the whole team, especially the older girls and Lucy are very protective over me and they helped me when i struggled with panic attacks during my first call ups and my debut for England.

8:00 clock

The alarm went off on Lucy's phone, I did not sleep very well. I had an awful nightmare in the middle of the night, that is all i think about now. I am just so scared that people will judge me for what i say. After conversations with the team last night I regret what i said, you did not say something bad. But you just feel being judged. The most awful feeling in the world.

My mom turned off the alarm and turned to me, I probably looked awful because I slept like shit. "Oh y/nn, are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, just did not sleep very well" I said back. I started walking towards the bathroom exhaustively when she came up behind me and gave me a hug. "You know we are here for you right", she said. I just hugged her back saying "I know mom, i love you" and walked in the bathroom locking the door getting ready.

When I was done I unlocked the door and asked Lucy if she was ready to go down for breakfast. You see, we have two bathrooms. So each one of us has their private bathroom. I totally love it.

When we open our door Jordan and Leah stood there already waiting for us, they have the room beside us and we always walk down for breakfast together.

I have never been so scared before but after my nightmare last night I am really scared now, the only one who knows I have social anxiety is my manager at Arsenal, Jonas Eidevall and my manager at the national team, Sarina Wiegman.

It's an obligation for them to know because mental health is very important and because I take medications everyday. That reminds me, I forgot to take it this morning. Shit.

When we walked into the dining room I was sweating and nervous as crazy. I was shaking non stop and couldn't wait for my breakfast so I could sit down alone in peace. Just thinking.

After getting my food, I decided to eat some and oatmeal today. Because the oatmeal here is hella good.

Anyway I walked towards an empty table when I heard a familiar voice calling my name, I turned around and saw the gaffer, Sarina Wiegman.

Shit

"Y/n, could we talk outside for a minute please?". She asked me with a smile but I could tell the concerning look in her eyes when she saw me fiddling with my fingers anxiously.

"Yes, of course" I said with a shaky voice I think the whole team heard because when me and Sarina walked outside of the room I could see in the corner of my eye Lucy and the other girls watching me with questioning but worried looks.

When me and Sarina got outside she looked me in the eye and asked if something was on my mind. I said no. "Are you sure y/nn?, it is important that we know everything".

"Okay fine, I have been really struggling with nightmares and I had a panic attack a few hours before arriving to England camp yesterday" I said with a shaky voice and tears in my eyes.

"Oh honey, it is okay! Totally okay to have ups and downs, everyone here would support you, which got me asking, does anybody know about your social anxiety? And have you taken your medications today?" she asked...

I looked down in shame, no and no I told her.

"I am really sorry Sarina but it is so hard, I don't want to be judged if I tell the others, and be treated differently.

"Honey, it is very important that you open up, I really think it is time for you to open up, and I promise you that none of the girls will judge you, we all love you and want to support you! You will not get treated differently, everyone has their own struggles, do not feel embarrassed by it", she said to me sternly but very soft.

Which is one of the things I like about Sarina, a brilliant manager but first and foremost a amazing women who cares about every one of us as her kids.

Me and Sarina talked a bit more and she told me that because I have been struggling a lot with my anxiety and sleeping I will not start tomorrow, when we play against Ireland in the euro qualifier at Wembley. Which I totally understand, I need to get my shit together and open up because I hopefully think I will feel much better then. Also feel closer with my teammates, not that I am not close with them. trust me I am but recently I have been shutting down and try to isolate from the others, which they now have realised.

Sarina has some of my medications in her office, incase I forget to bring or take mine so we went to her office and I took them, with disgust. It makes me feel different, I don't like that.

"Y/n, is it not your fault you have social anxiety, okay? Trust me, you are not different, okay. Now you need to go to breakfast before training".

She then gave me a hug and I left her office. Have I told you that I love the hugs Sarina gives, it is probably one of the best hugs ever!

I walked towards the dining room again and looked at my phone and saw that I was with Sarina for almost 20 minutes, now Lucy is probably really worried.

I thought about how I am going to tell the team. I am first going to tell Lucy and some of the veterans on the team.

When I walked inside dining room some of the tables were in a middle of a conversation and did not see me, unfortunately Lucy looked up at the door the second it open.

Lucys pov

Sarina called y/n outside and I would be lying if I said I was not worried. I am sitting with the group I always sit with at England camp, Leah, Keira, Georgia, Rachel, Millie, Jordan, Mary and Beth Mead. I have been worried about y/n for a while, I sat deep in my thoughts thinking about y/n when Rach suddenly asked. "Lucy, you good? You've been sitting spaced out for a while".

"Yes I am ok, i am just a bit worried about the youngster, in other words y/nn". As much as i love her I want what's best for her and I really think she is struggling with something, she always seems scared, nervous and it gives me signs of anxiety".

"Yeah that is actually true" Leah said, "Her being on arsenal me, Beth and Jordan pretty much see y/n everyday and she seems very tense". Millie being the softie she is said "We should probably try talk to her later when she comes back".

"Good idea, I say. "but I can't stop thinking about why Sarina wanted to talk to her".

Keira leaned over to me and whispered in my ear "stop being so nervous love, we will talk to her and support y/nn no matter what".

I just kissed her on the cheek and said thank you.

We sat there eating and making small talk when I looked at the clock, y/n has been away for like 20 minutes now. I am kind of starting to get nervous now

But as I thought of her the door opened and there she walked in deep in her thoughts with a hard look on her face. She picked up her food she got earlier and wanted to sit alone, she walked past us but Jordan grabbed her wrist softly asking "You want to sit with us?, there is an empty chair beside Georgia".

Reader´s pov again

I picked up my food I left on an empty table before I was pulled out to talk with Sarina and was walking towards and empty table, but as I was walking past the table Lucy and the other girls were on I felt a hand grabbing my wrist, softly but suddenly.

it was Jordan

"You want to sit with us?, there is an empty chair beside Georgia".

The table consisted of Lucy, Leah, Keira, Georgia, Rachel, Millie the brick wall Bright, Jordan, Mary and Beth Mead.

Deciding not to be rude I said "Yeah sure", with probably the shakiest voice for the 100th times today. I walked over and sat beside Georgia

Then I felt as I was being watch, I looked every one of them in the eye and I asked if something was wrong.

Lucy for the second time today asked "Are you ok y/nn, all of us are pretty worried about you". Beth said "Yeah, the whole team are and we want to know what's been up with you?, what did Sarina want to talk to you about?.

Leah being the skipper she is, saw you felt a bit overwhelmed with all the questions, "Relax, one question at a time" she said with a soft smile on her face.

I want to open up I thought, but at the same thing I don't.. why does it have to be so hard? Am I going to get judged, I know what Sarina told me but still".

"Babe" Lucy said "What is going on in that pretty mind of yours?".

I felt tears starting to drop and my hands shaking on the table while my foot was bouncing like crazy. When I felt Georgia's hand on my shoulder pulling me in for a side hug I lost it.

"I have social anxiety, i have been diagnosed with it for a few months. Only Jonas and Sarina know. I take medications for it, Sarina know that something has been up with me so she asked me if some of you knew, if I took my meds today, which I forgot so I needed to take them with her.".....

It got quiet for a second and I thought I was going to die for a minute, but Lucy walked over and gave me a hug from behind.

"Why did you not tell us?" Keira asked,

"I am really sorry about that, I felt ashamed. Embarrassed for needing to take meds and not being a fully functional human being. I am not normal, I was afraid of getting treated differently"...

"And that you would secretly judge me" I said in a very low voice but the girls heard.

Millie said to me sternly "You are the best human being a person could ask for, we would never judge you ever. We only want to help, we had our suspicions about it because we saw the signs".

Rachel jumped also in and said "We've got your back babe, you are perfect the way you are, no need to be ashamed of a diagnosis that is not your fault.

Mary being the angel she is said "I kind of know how you feel, when I was at my lowest a few years ago it was hell. but I had the best people who helped me through it and now we want to be the people to help you!"

Gosh how I love all of them, they are so supporting and caring but I was still very scared because I have not told them about my nightmares and panic attacks yet.

Lucy or my so called mum asked because she knows me through and through "Is there something more you want to tell us"

"Yes, but please don't be mad", you said in a begging voice.

"Of course we won't me mad love" Keira said in a reassuring tone.

"The nightmares and panic attacks has come back and it is worse now than ever. I had a nightmare last night, that is why I could not sleep. And I have been heavily struggled with panic attacks and nightmare for a long time, because of my anxiety. A few hours before we travelled to England camp yesterday I had the worst panic attack ever. I got it under control eventually by myself after maybe an hour, but felt uneasy for the rest of the day"

"It is ok not to be ok, but this is serious, we all care and want to help you. It sucks that you have felt this way y/nn" Jordan said with the biggest smile, it looked sad but kind.

"I am really sorry about not telling, but I promise I will be more open but you need to understand it is very difficult for me" I said, "And I am sorry mom, it is not your fault. I know you were asleep when I had the nightmare but I could not bear myself to wake you, I felt embarrassed" I said to Lucy.

Lucy´s pov

"And I am sorry mom, it is not your fault. I know you were asleep when I had the nightmare but I could not bear myself to wake you, I felt embarrassed"

Hearing those words come out of my daughter´s mouth broke me. I tried not to let tears fall but it was impossible now. I am her biggest supporter and I always will be. I just want her to know that

"You are amazing, brilliant, caring, loving and all other kind words I could say! I love you so much my babygirl."

Reader´s pov again

"I love you to mom". I said to Lucy.

Leah said sternly to me "You need to go see a therapist, when we come back at arsenal again we will go twice a week and I will go with you then me, Beth and Jordan can switch who would go with you"

"Seriously?" I groaned.

"Yes", they all said sternly in sync.

"Okay then, but Leah, you, Beth, and Jordan don't need to go with me"

"But we want to" the three of them said gladly.

"Thank you" I said looking down...

"Come here y/nn" Georgia said pulling me in for a hug, I love Georgias hugs.

Every one of the girls gave me a bear crushing hug telling me

"We will always be here for you babe, just call or text or do anything. And we will be there in an eye blink for you! We are so glad you told us, now we just need to tell the others."

"Could we please do it later?" I asked nervously...

"Of course" Rachel said.

"When we are back at arsenal we gotta tell our arsenal teammates too" Beth said.

"I know I know..." I said.

"I will always support you kid, I love you so much and I will always do. You are literally my kid just not official. I would love to be your official mom tho, if you'd have me?" Lucy asked.

I looked at her in utterly shock, and the other girls looked at us in awe.

"Are you serious, please be serious?" I asked with my mouth hanging open.

"Of course, as I said I love you like my own family". Lucy told me with tears

I said loudly "Yes, of course I would want you to adopt me, it kind of feel like you already have tho but still omg".

I started crying again but this time happy tears, while I gave my mom a big hug the girls took a photo of us and gave us a hug.

The perfect group hug.

Little did y/n know that Sarina stood outside watching everything that just had happen, you telling the others about your struggles and Lucy confessing how she feel about you.

Sarina really felt like a proud mom now.

"I am really the best momager ever" Sarina said walking away chuckling with the most heartwarming smile on her face ever.

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thisonelikesaliens · 21 days

Text

jt620123 ig 05.02.24

the producer/writer of the show posted her take on this scene in ep11, sort of her vision/expansion of what was shown on screen. below the cut because this is LONG, and also big big disclaimer I AM NOT A WRITER WRITING IS HARD i tried my best to translate the intent and spirit of this piece but i apologize in advance for the zero finesse

@abstractelysium this is for you

Pushing open the door where he was sitting at waiting to be let in all those years ago, Wei Zhi Yuan pulled Wei Qian after him and headed straight up the stairs, but Wei Qian stopped.

Growing up, how many times had they walked up these stairs? Going up the stairs today would change everything, so how could Wei Qian take this step without thinking it through?

Wei Zhi Yuan felt Wei Qian's pause so he pulled, but instead Wei Qian let go.

Wei Zhi Yuan looked down at his empty hand, then looked up and saw how lost Wei Qian was. Wei Qian looked up and saw surprise on Wei Zhi Yuan's face at being let go, then looked down and saw his own cowardice. Neither one dared to move, stuck on the precipice of a major shift in their relationship.

"You already came home with me, why aren't you coming up with me?"

"You pulled me all the way. How can I go up without talking this through?"

"Do you really not understand? I want you--" the resolute determination in Wei Zhi Yuan's voice caused Wei Qian to panic and interrupt.

"What do you want from me?" Wei Qian knew he was still trying to find a way out, as if as long as they didn't lay all the cards on the table he could still pretend nothing had changed between them. He understood clearly what Wei Zhi Yuan wanted, but was he capable of giving him everything he deserved?

Wei Zhi Yuan understood Wei Qian's hesitation. This was his brother! The man he had been holding in his heart all these years! If he let Wei Qian run all the way back into his shell there would be no more coaxing him out. At this point there was no turning back and there was no way they could go back to being just brothers. So Wei Zhi Yuan gave a final push.

He took a step down and moved closer to Wei Qian, eyes locked on his target.

"What do I want from you? Wei Qian, have you not thought about it?"

Wei Zhi Yuan continued to step forward, causing Wei Qian to step back.

"I want you to not only be my brother. I want you to be with me the rest of our lives. I want you to rely on me no matter what happens."

Wei Qian stepped back, until he had nowhere else to go.

"Yes or no?"

Wei Qian looked into Wei Zhi Yuan's eyes, and for the first time he didn't flinch and saw his own reflection in Yuan's eyes. Back then, a steamed bun, a bento box, a jacket, and this kid with sharp spines like a hedgehog followed him home. Now, that kid had grown taller than him, stubborn to a fault, but sometimes so soft-hearted it made him worry.

"Ge, one day I will be taller and stronger than you. By that time you can rely on me. Let me stand by your side, okay?"

When Wei Zhi Yuan had asked that time when he was still little, Wei Qian only patted his head and shrugged it off.

It took Wei Qian a long time to finally understand. Wei Zhi Yuan could lose everything, but he would never, ever let go of Wei Qian. What did he ever do to be loved by someone with such a bright future ahead, who could easily find someone better than him? Wei Qian realized he stopped thinking of Wei Zhi Yuan as just his brother a long time ago. He couldn't imagine a life without his Yuan anymore, and the regret if something were to happen scared him more than anything else. Life was too short and too fragile, and he did not want to waste any more time to acknowledge what Wei Zhi Yuan truly meant to him.

Wei Qian squeezed his fist as if he finally came to a decision and nodded.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

It was Wei Zhi Yuan's turn to hesitate. He wanted to scream, but he was afraid he misunderstood. He needed to make sure Wei Qian was not saying yes as a compromise.

"I want you, but I don't want your pity or compromise. Wei Qian, I'm not forcing you!"

"You didn't force me. I just thought it through."

"Ge, is this what you really want? Or are you accommodating me?"

Wei Qian sighed, and took action to chase away Wei Zhi Yuan's doubts when his words could not. He pulled Yuan towards him and kissed him softly, with just a hint of awkwardness.

"I'm not accommodating, you know your Ge…"

Wei Qian swallowed the rest of his words when Wei Zhi Yuan kissed him back fiercely.

#unknown the series #關於未知的我們 #this one translates #this one rambles #i think this is more words than i would write in a month

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kuni-is-daddy · 1 year

Note

Hear me out- fluffy comfort sex with scara bc y/n's severe daddy issues are acting up and it gets rougher... idk ive just been fantasizing about this 🤭

"For me~"

Tw: daddy issues, Signals of depression.

Scaramouche x GN reader PUREE comfort! :)

1.3K Words

scara masterlistt wanderer comfort

Fluff+smut

MINORS DNI---

Please make sure your taking care of yourself! I might not know you but your a beautiful person inside out who deserves the best and an amazing life no matter your age. Either young or old, things will get better. Have faith in yourself ❤️ I hope scara helps you feel better here💜

Art credit!

Even though scaramouche has a interesting personality. I feel like he truly can relate to MANY people regarding their problems and that's why he's one of my, if not favorite genshin character.

He's on break from his most recent mission in inazuma and treats you out and catch up as another date. He brings you a couple of gifts and some dango he kept cold just for you. "I thought you weren't a fan of dango scara?" "I'm not but.. figured I might as well bring something sweet for you besides myself" you giggled but that soon turned into a sad expression while you played with the box of dango he handed to you. "What's wrong y/n?"

Unfortunately, hearing about what's going on with your father was the last thing he wished to hear. Your his everything and you getting treated or viewed as nothing is something that makes his skin boil.

"tsk, how about I teach that old man a lesson? Humans are all the same. Taking it out on others because they can't handle the fucking truth or their own shit life. Where is he?" Scaramouche stood up from the table and looked at his surroundings.

"S-scara baby please it's fine its fine.." he sits back down. "Being with you already makes my day a blessing." You cup his cheek and he sinks into your warm touch. Looking at your beautiful eyes. He sighs, "you don't deserve this y/n. And..I'm not going to be here all the time for you. Fuck...this is already pissing me off"

"I don't even fucking have a father, but if I did I sure as hell wouldn't let myself get pushed around like this." You frowned. "Hey. Look at me. Your not a push over okay? I-im just saying this isn't right. Your beautiful and deserve the world y/n. I'd give you all of teyvat in a heartbeat" which you assumed he could after seeing the 'Shouki no kami' he and 'the doctor' have been working on. "Is he always home and like this?" "Yeah.. it's just like this when I'm around... So I'd just find something to do to try and take my mind off if it but..it still hurts." He held your hand. "Its going to hurt my love, it hurt when my mom abandoned me as well. Leaving me alone, but you have to find hope. Be it something small or anything. The fatui was.. a revenge thing you can say but. I found hope within you to be different..even if I am still in it. For now." You blushed "wow kuni~ I never knew you could be so nice." And there went his ego, "I just tell it like it is. And like I said, you are beautiful my love. And you certainly are worth it. Every hour, every second and every breath I take by your side."

It grew silent for a couple of minutes. Scara got up and paced back and forth thinking of a way to help you, to make you understand he loves you. He knew that deep in your thoughts we're tragedy and pain, that you we're alone. And he didn't want you to feel how he felt when his life crumbled due to the stoned face of a god.

He wanted to hurt that man, make him regret it. But he knew that wasn't the right way. Sometimes violence isn't always the answer and he learned that from you. You we're the yin to his yang, the beat in his heart. He loved you more than anything and you guided him into the 'happy' man he is today more then anyone could ever hope to become.

He didn't take you home, rather to his own home. It was dark, black painted walls and only 1 or 2 pictures he took with his 'buddy, Childe' and the rest we're all pictures of you. Even in his room he had taped up letters you'd write to him during his abroad trips. "Look. Come here." He was a little stern but you can tell it was because he was angry at how you we're being treated. "You see all of this here? I read these everyday. When I wake up, to be reminded that I'll always have you y/n." He held your hands and sat on the bed while taking his hat off. "I want you too feel the same way, even with that piece of shi- 'annoying parent' around. You don't have to read my letters my love, but please. Stay strong. For me. And for the future we will have together, side by side. Always."

SMUT🤪

Scaramouche laid you onto the bed and let out a groan "god look at this beautiful body of yours. How dare you look at yourself like this.. your fucking beautiful" he rubbed his hands along your body and took licks around your neck "I'm gonna treat you well t'night baby. And tomorrow I'm going to ask that brat Childe to take the rest of my missions for a bit(months) love." "B-but scara then your going to be so busy after-" he kissed you to keep you quiet. "Mmm mmm.. don't worry about that, trust me you'd be surprised to see the things he'd do after I put on a show for him(scara means killing a buncha people. Childe loves that shit😩)

Scara moved down to your private part, licking and kissing it "Scara~ stopp..your tongue~"

"Want me to stop baby? I know you like it." "N-no" you said while rubbing through his hair "you feel so good~" he smirked. "Good you like it. How about my fingers, you want that to?" "Y-yes daddy..wanna feel your fingers." Scara licked at his fingers and put two inside. "Mmm your so tight around my fingers baby..." He took his other hand and held your leg up while biting at your thighs. "Scara~ please~ ah...hah...." biting and sucking on your thighs until you got a hicky "Yes? What does love want." "I- I want you inside." He stopped biting at you and laughed. "Mmm and here I thought you wanted me to be gentle. And cherish your body." "I-i do but... I want more of you scara" "then take what you want of me, my love"

"Oh fuck baby..L-look at you, bouncing on daddys cock so well." Scara's praises made your body heat up. You two interlocked hands as you chased your orgasm "Yes y/n..Fuck yes. i love you. I love you so fucking much, Please cum for me. Let me hear those beautiful moans." "S-SCARA~ OH sHIT~" You cum oozed onto scara as he kept praising you, "Mm..fuck baby you did so well..So fucking well.. lay down f' me." Your body grew weak as your high started to fade and he guided you to the otherside of the bed. Scara licked off some of your cum while cleaning you up. "Shit.. and you taste good too baby." You threw a pillow at him "You pervet-"

You awoke to your boyfriend soundly asleep next to you. Already in his fatui attire. "S-scara...Your still here" He ruffly opened his eyes. "Of course id be here dumass.. But i do have to leave in a bit.. Otherwise how else am i gonna get that ginger idiot to take my work for a bit." You we're shocked that he still committed to what he said earlier, You thought he was just speaking to boost you up but scara was serious about it. You gave him a hug. "Im so glad to have you in my life Kuni. I love you."

"My god, my mother, humans. They've all abandoned me. Because I was 'weak. Not good enough.' But now I understand my love, I don't need them. Or what they say... All I need and want is you. I want to wake up to your beautiful smile. I want while I'm away for you to be happy. So please keep trying, not for those that dismiss you like they've done me. But for yourself and me. I believe in and love you. Just the way you are and the person you strive to be. I love your kindness, the way you smiled even when you we're sad on our dango date and wake up everyday even if it's the bare minimum. Dont hide those emotions anymore my love, When your hurt, Fall in my arms. Please stay, don't listen to that old bastard or the pain in your heart. I love you and I will stay with you until the bitter end to pick you up. Just like you always did for me"

Ps: I will be home Early, Tomorow evening most likely. Apparently, childe sees me as his 'best friend' and is willing to help regardless. What a looser. Anyway, I have to prep up for the fatui's grand dinner. I hope you ate today my love, Farewell until then.

-Kunikuzushi.

#genshin smut #genshin headcanons #genshin x you #genshin fluff #genshin scenarios #genshin x y/n #genshin impact #scaramouche smut #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche headcanons #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x reader #scara x y/n #scara x you #scara x reader #scaramouche #kunikuzushi #kunikizushi

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angyalikira · 7 months

Text

five dates with mike schmidt

pairing: gn!reader x mike schmidt

genre: fluff

warnings: none

part 1/5

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

first date // pizzeria

It happened very suddenly. He didn't mean to ask you out – at least not yet – but he couldn't stop himself. His body was just rushing with adrenaline and excitement any time he was close to you.

You were at the mall, going around shopping when you saw the hot security guard. It's not the first time you have seen him, but today you decide to finally talk to him. Both of you guys were in the same coffee shop, him being right behind you waiting to order. As you tell the barista your order, you tell them that you will be buying the guy behind you his drink too. Your words were almost a whisper, wanting to keep it as a surprise a bit longer. When it was his turn to order the barista told him about your plan and he seemed taken aback by that. No one has ever done something like this for him before. Right after he orders he looks for you in the shop and when he stops you he swears his heart just flipped. You were the prettiest person he has ever seen and your cute smile had his whole face blushing. He tried to play it cool and went over to you.

"Uhm so thank you for the coffee… You sure it wasn't a mistake? I-I really just don't want you to regret it and i just wondered why you did it and-" he nervously starts to ramble but you cut him off before he can overthink it more.

"It definitely wasn't a mistake, Mister cute security guard. Your job seems draining so I thought I could make your day a little better by buying you a drink." you smile at him sweetly and his mind blanks. This feels like a dream to him.

"That's sweet… I appreciate it a lot. I infact did not have the best day today but you totally changed that now…" he admits while twiddling his thumbs as he looks at you.

As you both of your coffees are ready you try to come up with an excuse to talk to him more. It seems like he is trying to do the same thing because he keeps on opening and closing his mouth as if he wanted to say something but decided against it after all.

"So how is it being a security guard? Any difficult people you had to deal with?" you finally decide to continue the conversation.

"Uh it's okay… not too bad, not too great honestly. And yeah I had my good share of rude people. But that's part of the job." he tries to make it sound as cool as possible without trying to come off too cringy. You of course notice but find it cute.

A few more words are exchanged but it seems like you both have a difficulty to keep the conversation alive for some reason. You feel frustrated because you really wanted it to work. But if it's not meant to be then you should respect it.

"Well I have to go now, enjoy the rest of your day." You start walking away and wave as a goodbye. But before you could walk more than two steps he stops you with his words.

"Wait! Uhm I know this is sudden but… would you maybe, only if you wanted to of course, i wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable… but would you want to maybe meet up again sometime? I would love to get to know you better." he sweetly says as he looks at you with his puppy eyes. It seems like he naturally does them and it makes your heart flutter. You turn back to him and smile.

He is horrible at sudden ideas sometimes but he manages to come up with something quickly.

"I would love that. Any ideas where or when?"

"How does today sound? Once i am done with my shift? Or is that too early for you? We could also maybe do tomorrow-"

"That's perfect, so where would you take me?" you ask him as you teasingly tilt your head to the side. This does wonders to him because he gets more flustered and is even more in awe of your beauty.

"There's this great pizzeria close to here if that sounds good to you?"

"It's a plan then. Can't wait to see you after work then." You smile and wave goodbye to him. As you walk away he wonders how his day went from being so unlucky to so insanely good. His motivation levels got so high after his encounter with you and no one could ruin this day for him anymore. He even caught himself smiling at the thought of meeting you later.

After his shift he quickly gets home, showers and dresses in some nicer clothes. Nothing too cheesy but he wouldn't want to embarrass you in public with looking bad either. Abby noticed the change in his behavior and kept teasing and asking him who he was meeting up with. He of course said it's only a friend so Abby would leave him alone but she's not a stupid girl at all. Once he is on his way, he almost runs to the place in excitement. He really does not want to mess this up.

As he walks in he sees you already sitting at a table. He stops in the entryway, clearly affected by your pretty and cute outfit choice. But once your eyes meet his, he comes back to reality and joins you at your table.

"I'm so sorry that you had to wait for me… You look absolutely stunning by the way." he sheepishly admits as he scratches the back of his head.

"Thank you. You look pretty cute yourself." you tell him as you lean your head on your hand. It's like time has frozen, his eyes widen at the compliment and he gulps jn nervousness. You wish you could take a picture of him right now.

"Have you ordered yet?" he changes the topic so he can focus on your conversations again.

"No not yet. Was waiting for you." you look at him with anticipation. "So which pizza do you recommend?"

"I uh recommend the salami pizza… Or is that too basic for you?" he feels like he could've given you a cooler answer but he is bad at improvising. Especially since he eats the same type of pizza every time.

"Ohhh i love a good salami pizza. Already a plus point for you." a chuckle escapes your lips.

You guys spend the evening getting to know each other and laughing a whole lot together. Mike gets more and more comfortable with you with each second that passes and his nervousness is almost completely gone too. Only almost because he still can't believe he is on a date with such a pretty person.

As he walks you home he stays close to you in a protective manner but still in a respectable distance. Your comfort and safety is more important to him than any of his stupid feelings. Once you arrive at your doorstep he almost jumps in joy – you live pretty close to him, meaning he could easily meet up with you more easily. You turn around to face him and you feel like your breath was stolen. In the moonlight Mike looks even more handsome and his eyes are shining with so much care and appreciation. You wish you could spend even more time with him but you don't want him to lose any more sleep (after he admitted to you that he kind of struggles with his sleeping).

"I also really enjoyed today. I hope we can repeat that soon." he doesn't quite know what to say and he hopes he doesn't seem interested because he is in fact the absolute opposite of that.

"I really enjoyed today, Mike. I'm really glad now that i got the courage today to buy you your coffee." you admit as you try to maintain eye contact with the pretty man in front of you.

"I might take you up on that offer." you chuckle as you poke his chest with your index finger.

"And hey, it seems like we love pretty close by so you could pop in whenever you feel like it! You're always welcome at my place. And i'm sure Abby will like you too."

To Mike it feels like you just marked his heart as his because his heart feels like exploding once again.

He stands there starstruck for a few more moments and tries to comprehend this past evening. As he walks home, he prays that this wasn't just a lucky day.

"Good night Mike. I hope you can sleep well today and i'll see you very soon i hope." you give him one last smile, wave goodbye to him and walk inside.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's movie #five nights at freddy's #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt/reader #fluff #first dates

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yume4evere · 7 months

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HINO MATSURI interview 2019

Changhong Publishing House invited " Vampire Knight Memories" HINO MATSURI to Taiwan today (4th) to hold a signing event. The original work of " Vampire Knight " ended the bloody battle between vampires and humans with Kaname's self-sacrifice. Then the " Vampire Knight Memories" launched later began to describe the story of the king's sleep for thousands of years. Before the signing event started, she also accepted interviews from the media and shared her experience in creating the sequel. (Due to the requirements of the organizer, this event cannot take pictures of the teacher’s front)

Q: What kind of response has " Vampire Knight " received from readers after it was completed?

A: Of course there are both positive and negative comments, but in fact most readers think that although the ending is very bitter, it is still a good ending.

Q: What was the opportunity to continue writing the extra story of " Vampire Knight "?

A: I just had the opportunity to write a special article that I will talk about in the future. After I drew one, I found that the response from readers was particularly enthusiastic. After all, I have special emotions for the characters, so I hope to pour more love into them. , and finally I am very grateful for the permission and stage to continue painting.

Q: Why did you decide to tell kaname the story of these thousand years from the perspective of Yuki's daughter: "Ai"?

A: Ai grew up hearing about her parents’ mistakes, regrets, and pain. I think she learned some things from her parents, so she has a calm and objective perspective, so it might be most suitable for her to tell it.

Q: " Vampire Knight Memories" contains the stories of the characters while they were sleeping in the Hub for thousands of years. How did you feel when you created it?

A: I always hold the belief that "unknown characters also have hidden inner dramas" when describing this work. Even the supporting characters who don't even have names have their own stories, let alone those characters with names. My own mood is that I don’t want to ignore these characters. Sometimes I also think about what these characters are doing now. So to have the opportunity to bring these characters back to the stage, I am creating with happiness and joy.

Q: Do you want to know what the world will be like a thousand years from now?

A: I don’t think much about it, so I only describe the world after Shu wakes up.

Q: Which of Yuki’s two children do you like best?

A: I like Ai especially when I am painting it, I am not trying to fool around, this is true.

Q: When describing Ai and Ren, what characteristics did the teacher bring into respectively from Yuki, Zero, and kaname?

A: Affectionate, straightforward, and a little perverted (laughs). I was aware of these when painting them. In addition, I think the environment in which one grows up will also affect the shaping and formation of a person. In terms of appearance, although the two children are a combination of their parents' characteristics, Ai's eyes and hair are a bit like the female version of kaname, and Ren's eyes are a bit like the fusion of Zero and Yuki's eyes.

Q: In " Vampire Knight Memories", do these stories that have been specially selected and replenished have special meaning to you?

A: There are episodes that are absolutely indispensable, and there are also situations where they are added because they match the timeline. There are also situations where a certain character is very suitable to be the main focus of a certain episode and is selected. There are also stories that come out of thinking about many aspects. few.

Q: Have you ever thought about creating a story featuring other characters from " Vampire Knight "?

A: Yes, I once said that I have thought about creating a story with other supporting characters as the protagonists, and I have also thought about telling the story from kaname's point of view before Yuki and others were born.

Q: How do you feel about coming to Taiwan to hold a signing event again after so many years?

A: I thought it was a lot of fun when I came to Taiwan in 2011. I had always planned to travel to Taiwan again. But when I couldn’t make the trip due to many reasons, I was fortunate enough to be invited to Taiwan again to hold an autograph session. I was really happy and excited. What I didn’t feel last time was that when I was moving in the car last night, I had a feeling that I was in Tokyo or Sapporo! I feel that the street scene is very similar to Japan, and it feels quite close.

Q: Finally, do you want to say something to the readers who continue to support " Vampire Knight "?

A: Readers have spent a precious part of their lives and continued to read this work until now. I am really grateful. It makes me even more happy to know that readers in Taiwan have been paying attention to the subsequent stories. And this is a work that fortunately has people willing to watch it so it can continue. I will also try my best to make everyone feel "I'm glad I watched this work"!

#HINO MATSURI interview #2019 #vampire knight #vampire knight memories #vkm #vk #kuran kaname #yuuki kuran #eternal yume #yume #kiryu zero #radiant zeki #zeki

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mayajadewrites · 6 months

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Levi Ackerman x Reader: Almost

Chapter Six: Coffee Ice Cream

Chapter Summary: We start off in Levi's POV, getting more insight on him and what he's thinking. He invites you over for TV and some ice cream. Nothing more. *tehe*

Fanfic Preface: Modern AU Levi Ackerman x Reader fanfic I’ve been dying to write! Levi is my latest hyper fixation so this was bound to happen. There will be other AOT characters in the mix, but remember this is a modern AU!

WARNING: SMUT AHEAD

ao3 link

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕ LEVI ☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

It's been a few days since our little incident. I didn't want to come off as obsessive, which I may or may not be, but I knew if I wanted this to last and bloom I needed to give her space to continue to be her own person.

"Mr. Ackerman, I've meal prepped for you for the next week and there's a load of laundry going." My housekeeper, Daisy, says as she fixes her apron. "Is there anything else you need me to do?"

"No, thanks Daisy." I nod for her to dismiss as I walk through my mansion.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I have a housekeeper. No one cleans like I do. I guess I keep her around for the cooking since I'm shit at that. Cleaning has always relieved my stress and makes me forget where I am in the world.

I didn't start off as a millionaire, almost billionaire. I started at the very bottom, with my mother.

We used to live in homeless shelters and sometimes strangers couches, until she fell ill because of our living circumstances. I watched my mother wither away in front of me, like a rose.

"Levi, promise me you will be something." I remember she said to me as she was taking her last few breaths. "Mommy will always watch over you."

Then she was gone.

Social services picked me up after that and I went to live with my aunt and uncle. They lived comfortably in middle class with no kids - lucky me.

I'd like to think mom would be happy with how far I've come.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

"Levi, your new assistant starts today. Don't run her off, please." Hange gives a pleading look. "She's nice."

"Nice and competent are two separate things." I continue to jot down notes from a contract I'm reading.

"Levi, this is Juliet. Your assistant." Hange walked into my office with, who I'm assuming is Juliet. She's young, with long blonde hair and brown eyes. Conventionally attractive.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Ackerman. What do you need me to do first? Do you want me to get you coffee?"

"I don't drink coffee. I drink tea. And I get that myself." I look up from my desk. "Hange, have her go over my schedule for meetings next week and make sure everything is in order."

"Sure thing boss." Hange left with Juliet, closing my door gently behind them. I have a therapy appointment today, thankfully it's virtual. I open my laptop and sign into the portal to initiate the meeting.

"Levi! You look good!" My therapist, Maria, smiles.

"Thank you. The camera probably smooths out my skin."

"So, tell me about your week. What are you feeling, what's going on, all that jazz."

"I punched a guy in the face last week."

"Levi! What did we talk about with your anger?"

"I did think it over. I thought before I punched, and after. I don't regret it."

Maria shook her head, bringing her glasses to the bridge of her nose. "Ay dios mio, you make my job so hard sometimes."

"That's why you get paid the big bucks, right?" I let out a rare chuckle.

"Why did you do that?"

Because he was touching whats mine.

"I thought he was going to take advantage of someone."

"Who's this someone?"

"I don't want to tell you about her yet. Then that means its serious."

"You punched a man because of her, that's not serious enough?"

"No. It's not. I'm 30 years old, Maria. I've never had a real relationship so I'm navigating it the only way I know how."

"Levi, she is not your mother. You can't treat her like she is a fragile human being. She has feelings, like you, and she is her own person. Does she want to be serious?"

"I'm not sure. We're ... dating? I guess that's different from being in a relationship."

"Ah, taking things slow. I see. Well, tell me about her."

"She works at my favorite coffee shop that I go to every day before work. Except I get tea. Anyways, I've seen her almost every day for 6 months and I've had long and short conversations with her. Only recently have we started seeing each other."

"And what are you scared of?" Maria's question stumped me.

I'm scared of everything.

I'm scared of losing her. I'm scared of losing what I have. I'm scared of starting a family only to have it ripped from me.

"Levi?" Maria snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I'm scared of, a lot. My feelings scare me. I feel, protective over her. I feel like I want to savor every moment we're together. I'm also scared she's going to run off once she truly sees my life."

I'm rich, like, filthy rich. She works hard for her money, lives alone, and has dreams of opening her own coffee shop. Which I can help with.

She's used to doing everything for herself. She doesn't have a housekeeper, a chef, none of that. She cooks, cleans, and does everything herself.

Everything I want in a woman is in her.

"You can't go around anticipating people leaving." Maria tapped her pen on her notebook. "You know what I say, everything happens for a reason. There's a reason you connected with her and there's a reason you feel the way you do about her. I don't think it would hurt to explore those feelings more."

After your therapy session, I decide I'm inviting her over for the first time. I want her to see how I am, in my house, and I want to observe how she is.

Me: Are you busy tonight?

Her: If by busy you mean I have a date with a pint of coffee ice cream and Grey's Anatomy, then yes.

Me: Would you like to do that here?

Her: Here is where?

She's gonna make me work for this.

Me: Here as in my house. I'll pick you up at 7.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕ BRATTY BARISTA ☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

After getting ready for Levi's, you take a look at yourself in the mirror. Your outfit consists of leggings, crew socks, sneakers, a low cut tank top and a zip up hoodie. You can't lie, part of you wants Levi to continue what he started at your place last week. The other part of you is scared shitless to go to his mansion.

At 7 PM sharp, you hear tires roll in front of your place. By the time you lock your doors, Levi is waiting outside the passenger door for you. He kisses your cheek before letting you in the car, scanning your body.

You study the drive from your place to his - about 20 minutes. Levi lives in a rich, residential area with plenty of land to spare.

Walking into his home, it's spotless. Like, actually spotless. No dust anywhere, nothing is out of place, even the remotes on his coffee table.

"I bought some coffee ice cream and I have Netflix set up for that show already - Grey's what?"

"Grey's Anatomy. You're watching it with me?"

"I was serious when I asked you if you wanted to do that here. Can we start from the 1st episode?" Levi grabbed 2 spoons and the pint of ice cream.

"Sure." You walk over to the couch, which looks like a cloud, and sink your body into it. So this is what it's like to have money.

Levi pressed play, opening the pint. He plunged his spoon into the ice cream as neatly as he could, bringing it to your lips.

You open your mouth slowly, letting him insert the spoon into your mouth. You stare at his eyes as you lick the spoon, getting lost in the clouds that live in his eyes. He pulled the spoon out of your mouth, taking a scoop for himself.

Levi had coffee ice cream residue on his bottom lip, which he quickly licked away. You stared at his chiseled jawline as he watched the show, his eyes moving back and forth with the scenes.

Eventually Levi put the ice cream away, knowing we would eat it again later. As he sat down next to you again, you couldn't help but notice a bulge in his pants.

We meet again.

Levi put his arm around the back of the couch, leaning back so his chest was stretched out. You could see his collarbone peeking out of his shirt, along with his sculpted muscles.

"You're not even watching, brat." Levi interrupted your daydream.

"I'm watching something else." You turn your body toward him. "It's much more interesting."

"What do you mean? I think it's ok so far -" Levi directs his attention back on the tv, getting lost in the plot.

You took advantage of this moment and unzipped your hoodie a bit, exposing your cleavage. He didn't seem to notice, but he will soon.

You slide into him, making sure he can feel your body against his. He looks down at you through his jet black locks, seemingly by surprise.

"What-"

"Shhhh." You press your finger to his lips, pulling your leg over his lap so you're straddling him. "You can't talk until I'm done. I mean it. Not a word." When did you suddenly get bold?

Levi's erection was more prominent now, pulsing against your thigh. You trail kisses down his face, neck, chest, and eventually you snake down to your knees, in front of his belt buckle.

You look up at Levi, who's mouth is open like he wants to say something.

"Remember the rules, Mr. Ackerman." You wiggle your finger, unbuckling his belt. "Not a word until I'm done."

His belt slid off with ease, as you pulled his slacks down to his ankles. His dick print through his boxer briefs startled you, but you're not gonna stop now. You spread his legs, pushing yourself in between them.

You drag your fingertips down his stomach to his pelvic region, tracing the 'V' line gently. You glanced to look at Levi, who's eyes were dead set on you.

His underwear came off, and his dick slapped his abs. Your eyes grew wide from his size, knowing you might have bit off more than you can chew.

You take one hand and start pumping his dick slowly, brushing your thumb over the tip. Pre-cum leaked from the slit, motivating you to pump harder.

You take some of the pre-cum from your finger and slid it into your mouth with a 'pop' sound. Levi groans, letting his head fall back.

You bring your lips to his tip, sucking it gently while pumping his shaft. You could not take all of him in yet, but you will. Your other hand starts massaging his balls, which hitched his breath. Your tongue caressed every vein in his dick, paying special attention to the tip.

Levi finally put one of his hands in your hair, directing you on his dick. You took more and more of him in, eventually hitting your gang reflex, but you didn't care. The look on Levi's face is worth it. He whimpers as your tongue cascades along his length, the sounds alone causing him to almost overstimulate.

Levi moaned your name before you felt his dick start pulsating in your mouth and his hand pulled your hair roughly. "Where do you want me to cum?" Levi said with short breaths.

"In my mouth."

It was less of a mess that way.

That must have sent Levi over the edge. He unleashed his load in your mouth, holding your hair tightly.

You snake your body up to his face and smile, swallowing his load.

"Fuck." Levi caught his breath, kissing your lips gently. "My turn." Levi pulled you onto the couch, laying you down horizontally. "But you can be as loud as you want."

Levi slid your leggings off, revealing your hot pink thong. He played with the straps before sliding them down your legs, kissing your thighs as he passed by.

Your core was drenched at this point from sucking his dick alone, and seeing him at your pussy sent you to another planet.

He slid two fingers in without warning, pulled them out, and sucked them while keeping his eyes on yours. "What a good girl. So wet for me." Levi started pumping his fingers, curling at your clit.

"Levi.." You moan his name, curling your toes. Levi presses his hand on your stomach, sitting his face in-between your thighs. His lips touched your pussy, sending electricity up and down your body.

The entire time, his eyes are on you. Watching every face you make, listening to every moan. Levi ate pussy like it was his last meal. His tongue and fingers invaded you and made it their home instead. Your walls started to pulsate as his tongue went in and out of you, devouring every last drop.

"So beautiful." Levi mumbled against you, curling his fingers one last time before the world went away around you. The feeling is euphoric. A man hasn't made you feel like this, ever. You've pleasured yourself enough to give yourself an orgasm, but this is different.

"Levi." You moan loudly, gripping his hair, riding out your high. You could not focus on one thing - there were no thoughts in your head. Levi ate you through your high until your legs were shaking uncontrollably.

Making his way to your lips, Levi kissed you gently, the sheen of your arousal all over his mouth.

"I wish I could savor this taste forever." He groaned, putting his hand behind your neck and pressing you into him gently.

His lips moved with purpose, making sure every inch is taken care of. Your lips are plump from all the arousal, your heart feels like its beating out of your chest.

"Do you still want to watch Grey's Anatomy?"

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman aot #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman fanfic #levi fanfic #levi aot #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfic #levi attack on titan #levi smut #levi ackerman smut #levi x you #levi ackerman x you

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axailslink · 2 years

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Hi love! I was wondering if I could request a Shuri x black fem! Reader. Maybe like where the reader is jealous or riri? And thinks that Shuri prefers her because she’s good at science, but then Shuri comforts the reader and it’s just a lot of fluff? If not I completely understand and am so sorry if this is a bother. Thank you for reading!! I hope you have a lovely day!

Wah!?

Shuri x FEM reader

Summary: You love Riri truly but hate this newfound jealousy you can't help but hold against her because of her and Shuri's friendship. Shuri comforts you and corrects your doubts.

You told Shuri you would be of help in the lab today you lied you couldn't stand to be in the lab when Riri was there working with her too they have this undeniable chemistry maybe it was because Shuri didn't have to explain the things she was talking about to her about she just knew immediately.

You hated it the jealousy flowing through your veins when Shuri would laugh too hard at something Riri said. You're grown you shouldn't be jealous of someone you considered a little sister but you couldn't help but glare some times at their little interactions it honestly pissed you off.

Truth be told you could be jealous sometimes... Well most times you know your girlfriend is not only attractive in your eyes and you hated that because that means you have to act like a dog when someone stares too long or tries to flirt. There's a quick knock on your door it doesn't take long for you to put two and two together it has to be Shuri you haven't texted back, nor did you go to the lab like you said you would, and you didn't kiss her this morning before she left.

When you open the door Shuri's standing with two bags in hand and a worried expression "you didn't text me back I assumed the worst maybe a bad period had you bent over the toilet or you haven't eaten enough... Though you seem fine" you immediately regretted ignoring her because this right here is true proof she loves you and will always love you. You move over so that she can walk in the house and lock the door she immediately places the bag down and checks for a fever of some sort you laugh and grabs her hands "baby I'm fine just throwing a bit of a fit I had another moment..." She looks at your eyes concerned searching your eyes for an answer "I uhm... I was a bit jealous of you and Riri's relationship you don't have to explain anything with her and I may have let my thoughts eat at me and conjure up some bs about you probably enjoying her company more than mine and maybe even liking her I j-" Shuri stops you with a disgusted sound "wah.!? Baby you should never feel this way you should have told me you felt like this. Did you feel I was being too friendly?" You sigh and nod a bit she smiles and grabs you by your waist "stop that I want no one but you, you're my love my everything you keep me in check you shouldn't have doubts about my love for you... Am I not giving you enough attention? Do you need some attention? What is it? What can I fix?" You look away and smile to herself at how adorable she could be sometimes always caring for you. "You're so caring you know that? You drop everything for me that'll get you in trouble one day" she laughs to herself "I'd drop the throne for you without question so don't question my love. I will not throw away three years because a pretty girl close to my age happens to understand all my 'science talk' as you call it" you smile then look at her "pretty? You think she's pretty?" she groans and facepalms herself "baby stop this nonsense do I have to show you much I love you?" You look her up and down and cross your arms over your chest "I mean I am feeling a bit unappreciated" she smiles and kisses all over your face "I can fix that I've got thirty minutes" she says checking her watch "c'mon" she pulls you upstairs and you laugh following her knowing exactly where she's leading you "sex won't fix this!" She nods "I know this but luckily for you this isn't sex this is love" you almost buckle right there. You truly love her she didn't see your jealousy as weakness she just showed you that you had no reason to be jealous she truly was a God send queen mother raised her right. And lord do you thank her for that. "C'mon my love give me a kiss since you say I'm not giving you enough attention" "Shuri picks you up and you squeal you weren't expecting that "put me down!" She shakes her head "I've got the strength to pick you up and I'm doing it try and tell me no you can't now give me a kiss" you groan and shake your head "I don't see how I get so jealous so easily when this is what you do when I have doubts. I love you Shuri" Shuri smiles at you and shrugs "I know and I wouldn't have it any other way I love you too and I will never stop."

A/n: sorry this was rushed tryna get requests done I really hope you like this though. ☺️

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hcneygemini · 9 months

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sentence starters from my wip fics, pt. I

please do not add to this list nor repost the list as your own. tw: mentions of murder + attempted murder.

I just fell for that, didn’t I?

Is it because you like me so much?

I bet you regret this now.

Your heart’s pounding.

You’re too empty headed to know much of anything.

Oh, come on! I know something about seduction.

I know you’ve never heard of it, but some people have friends.

I don’t wanna hang out with the dork gang, though. Just you.

Yeah, well I’m an asshole, so we’re even.

I couldn’t sleep because you weren’t there.

Is that your way of flirting?

You’ve never gone to these lengths before.

You can be a real smart ass sometimes, you know?

I wanna see a different side of you today.

You made one mistake though—you didn't disarm me.

Kiss me.

You’re definitely not boring.

What are you thinking about?

We have to learn to confront it at some point.

Can you wait to kill me until I finish breakfast?

What’s the matter? Jealous?

I’ve never been more serious in my life.

[ Name ] won’t shut up about you.

Stop pretending to be mad.

It’s part of my evil plan.

I’m not repeating anything [ name ] told me in confidence.

You shouldn’t be so vulgar.

We both know we’re not a couple.

You can’t keep just walking away.

Stop being corny, I’m tired.

You look peaceful when you sleep.

I don’t think you think I’m serious. But I’m always serious!

I didn’t go looking for this.

I don’t like trusting people.

Please keep your feet off of my desk.

Wow, you’re so stoic and unafraid of threats!

How much of anything was real?

Was this the truth you wanted?

Past me had shitty taste.

You're so much more than that.

So, we were lied to.

This is really pathetic, you know.

Why should I go anywhere with you?

I have some ideas, but you have to trust me.

I see your cruelty's still intact.

Shit, you're really pale.

Would you stop trying to leech off of the traumatized children?

I don't have time to detail the extent of my work to you.

Why can’t you just talk to me like a normal person?

Yeah, well, I can deal with my shit myself.

Isn’t everyone so much happier without me around, stirring the pot?

I’m tired. Can your love confession wait until tomorrow?

No good deeds go unpunished, or whatever.

I got two people killed… er, technically maybe three.

Tell me another one of your preachy, boring life lessons!

Careful, I can hear the cogs turning in your head from here.

No one here is ‘okay.’

You didn’t have to come, you know.

We both know what I did.

Don’t give me some shit about ‘finding yourself’ and ‘healing.'

Hey, don’t think of it as bribing! Think of it as… a reward for putting my best foot forward.

Jeez, am I the only topic of the rumor mill?

You fell asleep on me.

I guess movie night is a good sedative.

I think I did something. Something bad.

Why do you have to make a joke out of everything?

You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.

Why were you so out of it last night?

You know, they’re not so bad if you would just get to know them.

Hey, where the fuck have you been?

Why would I forgive someone who tried to kill me?

Well, shit happens!

You’re either plotting to kill me in my sleep or you’re in love with me.

Are you asking me to stargaze with you?

Life doesn’t need to have some big meaning, I guess. I mean, I’m happy right now.

I come with tidings!

It's a cake that says, 'Sorry for trying to have you murdered!'

I can’t trust your big mouth.

What do you do when you disappear during the day?

I’ve never exactly been in a relationship.

At least take me out before talking about commitment.

Why do you spend time with me?

I’m learning more about you. The real you. And I… like [ them / her / him ].

Wow, you’re lame as shit.

Wait, so you’re seducing me by accident?

You two really like each other, huh?

Wow, your voice is so sexy in the morning.

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #inbox meme #rp prompts #violence mention tw #murder mention tw

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mandos-mind-trick · 10 months

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I'm forever grateful for this fandom

I've been meaning to post something like this for a while. I debated doing it during my next follower milestone (which is very close) but today just felt right.

I've been in a funky place these last few weeks due to a lot of things going on, and this time of year is always a struggle for me. I'm feeling better now, putting aside how today makes me feel, and some things have happened that are going to continue to make things improve slowly but surely.

Today marks twelve years since my mom's death. She died of colon cancer, which the diagnosis for came on rather suddenly and traumatically (that's a story in itself) and she fought for two years before finally succumbing to it on August 14, 2011. I was only 15 when it happened, sitting across the room from her when she took her last breath.

She and I were very close. I was a surprise child, born about 20 years after my siblings so I was raised as an only child. My mom was everything to me since my dad took on the more stereotypical gender role of working all day. (I was close with my dad but not nearly like I was with my mom.) My mom was the glue that held our family together and her getting sick and then ultimately passing really took its toll on my family, and me.

My mom was the one that introduced me to Star Wars. She loved the movies. She went and saw the original trilogy when they came out in theaters, and she instilled that love into my siblings and I. I still remember the day when she finally let me watch The Phantom Menace. I think it sticks out to me because if you had known her, you wouldn't have thought Star Wars would be something she was into. We went and saw the two remaining prequel trilogy movies when they came out in theaters and even the Clone Wars movie (the last one to come out before she got sick) and it was just so special that we shared this thing as a family that we all loved.

I didn't watch Star Wars for ten years after she died.

I rebuked anything and everything that had to do with Star Wars. Every new movie, every new show that came out, all I could think was how much she would have loved it (even the sequel trilogy.) I tried so hard to hate Star Wars because every time I saw anything related to it, it just brought up all those horrible feelings. The pain and grief of losing my mom and in a way I felt like I was betraying her because she'll never get to watch Star Wars again.

I don't really know what changed my mind. I honestly couldn't tell you what switched, what caused me to risk dipping my toe back into the world of Star Wars. Maybe it was all the Baby Yoda memes.

I decided early last year that I was going to watch The Mandalorian. It felt like a safe place to start since there were no emotions attached to it like other things. Also, I've been in love with Pedro since Game of Thrones so that also helped. Watching it, it didn't really feel like Star Wars, but at the same time, it reignited the feelings I used to get watching it with my mom. It took me a long time to watch the first two seasons (the only two that were out a that time) but I'm glad I did it. I went back after I finished those and rewatched the prequels and decided I was going to watch the Clone Wars show. I never really got into it when it was on TV, since I was reaching that stage of pubescence where I was trying to distance myself from anything that felt too childish.

Well, long story short, here I am now. The Mandalorian helped me ease myself back into the world of Star Wars, and the Clone Wars dunked me in head first.

I still think about it, I still think about her when I watch things. It's less painful now and more bittersweet. There's a sense of melancholy underneath everything that just kind of sits there. It never goes away, but sometimes it gets buried enough I don't feel it.

I certainly don't regret coming back to Star Wars. I certainly don't regret getting involved in the fandom side of things. When I decided to watch Star Wars again, I was sort of flailing between fandoms. That awkward spot when you leave one and have to find something else to occupy your every waking (and sleeping) moment. I had just left Marvel due to a toxic friendship (that's a whole other thing in itself) and had briefly jumped into Kpop (I still love Kpop but yikes at the fandom side.) I needed something and Star Wars decided to be that thing.

I didn't plan on getting so involved with the clones. I originally started this blog as a Mando blog (hence the name) and my first Star Wars fics were Mando fics. A lot of them have never seen the light of day and probably won't and that's okay. I hadn't realized, even when I first started getting into the fandom, that there was such a community centered around the clones. I remember when the Clone Wars movie came out, I desperately searched for any fics related to the clones, and there was nothing. So to return fourteen years after searching to find an entire fandom based around the clones...it was a bit unbelievable.

I'm so glad I found this place and eventually became active within it. Y'all have helped me more than I can ever say. I went from debating quitting writing entirely to enjoying it again. I'm writing like I did seven/eight years ago. It no longer feels forced, like I'm forcing myself to write so I don't lose my ability. I like what I'm writing. I'm proud of it. Y'all have helped me get over the impostor syndrome, the hatred I used to have for my writing. I can look at my works and feel confident in them because I know that they're good and I believe that they're good. That confidence and positivity has translated into other areas of my life. I still struggle sometimes, I still question myself, but it's never to the end of "I should quit because this is utter garbage" anymore. (When I say my writing is trash now, it's coming from a joking place, not a serious one.)

A lot of that growth has come from me and the work I've been doing, but you all have had a hand in it. I'm so grateful for all of you, from the silent readers to the dedicated commenters. You've helped me in so many ways. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how bad things get. I may have to take breaks but I'll always come back here because I have a reason to. You're stuck with me for the long haul.

I'm so glad I found my love of Star Wars again. I'm so glad I decided to engage in this fandom space. You're all so special to me and I love each and every one of you and I am so thankful for you. I can only continue to repay you with my writing and my unhinged thots.

#this is really long i don't blame you if you don't want to read #just know i love every single one of you #tw illness and death #also grief

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arvadthecursed · 1 year

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not to continue being an emotional bitch on main but I was thinking about The Last Unicorn (the film, mostly, as it was Baby's First Hyperfixation) and how it is a film about growth and grief, at its very core, and that's why it resonates so strongly.

At the end, the unicorn says, "I have been mortal, and some part of me is mortal yet. I am full of tears and hunger and the fear of death, although I cannot weep, and I want nothing, and I cannot die. I am not like the others now, for no unicorn was ever born who could regret, but I do. I regret." And I wanna focus on those last lines.

There comes a time in all our lives, I think, where we experience that loss of innocence, and it feels like the first time it's happened in human history when it's happening to you.

This isn't a story I've told many people but I'll share it with you now. When I was 12, my grandmother, who I was extremely close to, died of cancer. It had spread to most of her body, including her lungs and brain. Her last days were spent in a hospital hooked up to a morphine drip.

The last time I saw her, it was in the hospital, and she was begging my father not to leave. We had to return to our home to pick up my mother for the impending funeral. And I just remember my grandmother crying out for my dad, telling him not to go, and I remember how utterly crushed I felt in that moment. Death was inevitable. I couldn't escape it, not when it was directly in front of me. At my grandmother's viewing, I could hardly look at her.

For years, I was severely thanatophobic. Death has always kind of hung over my life. My maternal grandmother, only a few months after I was born. My maternal grandfather, when we went to his apartment and found him dead. My grandmother's friend, who we found dead in his house. My grandmother herself.

That was over ten years ago. I've grown quite a bit, and I think working in a nursing home has given me a little more of a "unique" perspective, if you will. Death is just part of life. It happens. And sometimes, it is merciful.

But the grief remains. There are times I'm 12 again, and a scared little girl, watching my grandmother, who could hardly recognize anyone, cry for my dad not to go. I feel regret for not being able to look at her body at the viewing.

And even beyond death... I grieve the girl I lost to abusive boyfriends. I feel this lingering regret at the loss of my innocence, not that I could've stopped it. I think of the sweet little girl I was, and I want to cry for her, but I can't. All I can do is look to the future and try to grow and be better for her.

It's a human experience. We don't like to admit it, but grief is quintessentially human. When it happens to us, it feels like the first time it's happened in history.

And then we grow. We have to keep getting up, and going about our lives, and trying not to trip on our grief. It doesn't go away, but it tucks itself into a corner, where it'll catch us off guard when we least expect it. Then it goes back into hiding.

I think The Last Unicorn is a really beautiful example of all these ideas coming together. The unicorn must come to grips with the fact that she is not innocent anymore. She has grieved, she has loved, and she knows the bittersweetness of regret. Her journey is self discovery, but a tragic one, one that we all go through at one time or another. It's a film that still resonates deeply with me because the notion of grief and growth has always been present in my life.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Was just thinking about it quite a bit today.

#millie says #the last unicorn #death cw #abuse cw #for the mentions

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distantlaughter · 10 months

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"Poker always works"

by Christian Von Hocke, originally written 24 July 2009 for Zeit Online (x)

Formula 1 pro Nico Rosberg talks in an interview about his life as a globetrotter, exotic food and his preferences for other sports.

Question: Mr. Rosberg, like right now in Budapest, you're on the road all year round with Formula 1 around the world. Don't you sometimes get homesick?

Nico Rosberg: I've had nine hotels in four weeks, which is exhausting. But homesick? No. I really enjoy traveling, it's very educational and very interesting. That's what I would also do in my free time: get to know new countries, discover new people, the way they live.

Question: So you've turned a hobby into a profession right alongside driving.

Rosberg: Yes, there are many places in the world that I would like to see and that excite me. I'm also planning a big trip during the winter break. I'm interested in India, for example, with its spirituality, or South America, Patagonia, a safari in South Africa. Even just hiking. That's not something I would normally do, but it's good for the body's regeneration. There's so much I can do, I'm just afraid that I'll take on too much and it will end up being too stressful.

Question: Michael Schumacher has regretted that he never saw anything of the Grand Prix venues apart from the airport and the track. Do you also explore the cities where you race?

Rosberg: Yes, especially at the overseas races. I have a bit more time there because we always arrive a bit earlier due to the time change. But even so, there's always the Saturday evening before or the Monday after the race. We have great races in interesting cities like Melbourne or Singapore or Shanghai.

Question: And what do you do there?

Rosberg: I go into town. I have a nice meal in a restaurant or go out for a drink or shopping in the evening, or I go to the beach and go surfing. Or I look at the special features of the city. I'm also very interested in photography and always have my big camera with me.

Question: But traveling can also be quite stressful. Can you sleep on the plane?

Rosberg: No, very badly. I have to lie horizontally and need rest so that I can concentrate on falling asleep, otherwise it doesn't work. For that reason alone, I have to fly business class. That's not a problem in Europe, where I always have my camper van to take me to the tracks.

Question: There are 17 Formula 1 races in 2009 alone. Have you ever woken up and not known which city you were in?

Rosberg: Not that, but I was once at the airport at check-in, and the woman asked me: Where are you flying to? And I didn't know. I'd been to four or five different countries that week, I was tired and unfocused, and I just couldn't think of it. She looked at me like I was stupid (laughs).

Question: Do you sometimes wish you had an office job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., where you could throw your coat over the hook and stretch your legs in front of the TV when you're done working?

Rosberg: No. Whether it's a nine-to-five job or a Formula 1 racing driver isn't that important. I don't know if it would make anyone else happier if they led my life. My friends all have nine-to-five jobs, and they're no less happy than I am. It's always what you make of it that matters.

Question: But you also need a bit of home, don't you? Many people always have their music player with them to simulate a feeling of home wherever they go.

Rosberg: I'm not a music fan. I got an iPod as a gift, but I haven't really used it yet. For me, it's the cell phone. It connects me with friends and family. That's cool, I can also use it to go on the Internet. When I don't have it with me, I feel very naked. Like today, I don't even know what's going on anymore.

Question: Anyone who travels so much must have acquaintances all over the world.

Rosberg: That's true - wherever I go in the world, there are my best friends. I know them either through racing or from the past. I grew up in Monaco, and nobody stays there. Today, my old friends are everywhere, in Australia, China, America or South Africa. I can call them up and ask if we want to have a drink.

Question: Can you maintain hobbies while traveling?

Rosberg: I like to play football, but I rarely do that when I'm traveling. Poker is always on. I'm not very proud of it, actually it's nonsense to sit in front of a computer and play poker. But it's fun. Otherwise: eating. Does that count? I already see it as a hobby, I love to eat for my life, delicacies, creative, new things, especially country-related. I was in Marrakech with my girlfriend the other day, they have gigantic food there.

Question: In your travels, do you notice how places in the world change from year to year, and not just in terms of cuisine?

Rosberg: Yes. My parents have a country house in Aix-en-Provence. At first it was quite isolated, but now it's become a huge settlement with an industrial area.

Question: Let's be honest: What is your least favorite place in the world?

Rosberg: Kuala Lumpur. We're always just sitting around at the airport there (laughs).

#nico rosberg #nicology

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stolenoc · 9 months

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Villainous Nights Fanfiction

Like fully two years ago I started writing a Villainous Nights AU where MC got recruited by Optimus before the Syndicate found her. I've stopped writing it, but I've always liked this scene and I'm sick of scrolling past it in my wips and being sad it won't be used, so here it is.

3500 words, MC x Juliette (Monarch & Bat too, I guess)

When I glance at the screen, it's to find an incoming call from one of my contacts- specifically, from Bat.

I'd be the first to admit I've been pretty forgetful lately- How could I not be? Thanks to all the hit and run attacks the Syndicate have been making lately, I’ve been basically working nonstop. I’m tired in a way that sleeping doesn’t even fix but, even so, I’m pretty sure I would remember saving one of the guys who are trying to kill me as a contact.

Did he like, hack into my phone and add this? Is that a thing you can do? I guess it's probably a thing he can do. His name is listed as "Bat- Just wanna talk", which is… well, it’s in character for him, if nothing else. He does like to talk.

After taking a quick, guilty glance around to make sure I'm mostly alone (I'm not strictly sure if I'd be allowed to accept calls from the people the company is actively at war with), I answer the phone, heart pounding in my ears.

"Hey, Monarch," says Bat, even now sounding as awkwardly, inappropriately casual as ever.

I scoff. It's an angry sound, and I realise that I am angry. How dare he know who I am? We had such a good thing going, the Syndicate and I. It was like a game- A high stakes game that sometimes resulted in broken bones but, you know. It felt like there was respect there.

"You might as well just use my real name," I say, and it comes out as a growl through my gritted teeth. "What's this about, dude? Just trying to scare me? Because congrats, yeah, it's working."

A sudden intake of breath. Then, "No- no, Monarch, uh... Lana. This isn't a threat- okay so, in retrospect? I can see how this-"

"Oh, it's not a threat?" I hiss. "That's funny, because I am feeling exceptionally threatened. I swear, Bat, if the Syndicate goes after my-"

"The Syndicate doesn't know who you are, Lana!" he says, cutting me off. "I do. Just me. I haven't told anyone else. I really do want to talk, just the two of us."

Well. Okay. That shuts me up. I take a moment- there's just a lot to unpack with that. Bat knows who I am, and is calling me "just to talk", and wants to keep the rest of the Syndicate out of it. I... can probably work with this.

Toning down the aggression a notch, I say, "So, what is this, then? Are you looking for a job, Bat? Should I put you through to HR? There’s a couple positions open, actually."

I regret making the joke instantly- that particular wound’s still pretty raw for me- but Bat does laugh. He says, "No, I'm good, thanks. And I'm no turncoat- the Syndicate knows I'm calling you, just not who you are."

"Wait, so you're saying that they know that you know- and they're okay with you keeping it a secret?" I ask, dubiously. "Even Murderpants McKnifeguy?"

Bat snorts. He says, "They're... well, they can't do much about it, really. I'm kinda irreplaceable? They love me for my big genius brain and stuff. But yes, Falcon is extremely pissed."

"Yeah, I bet."

"It helps that I'm kinda keeping away from them, also," he admits. "Full disclosure? Everyone's shouting at me today, it completely blows. But that's not why I'm calling you."

Even though every suspicious instinct Optimus drilled into me is telling me to hang up, to go tell Rene or someone about the intrusion, to run screaming to Juliette's apartment to make sure she's okay, I have the strangest urge to just give Bat a chance.

It's true that he's always seemed a little different to the rest of his team. He rarely makes an appearance in person, and only seems to fight under sufferance- he's treated almost like a consultant. Could he have different goals? Goals that don't involve spearing me with ice lances or burying me under tons of rock?

I say, "Okay, I'll bite. What's this about?"

"I'd like to meet with you in person," he says, after a long moment of hesitation. He quickly amends, "In costume, obviously. Both of us. We can make it look like an accident during one of your patrols."

Oh, that sounds safe. I ask, "What's wrong with talking over the phone? And also, why would I keep this a secret from Optimus?"

"I want to give you something, and I need to make sure you actually get it," he says, then he chuckles a little nervously. "And as for the secret thing… You don't have to, but I'll be meeting you alone. Ideally, Scarlet Brighid won't show up and break my spine. I'd like it if we could both trust each other, here."

Ironically, the grisly description helps me relax. He's not wrong- even if he's lying through his teeth, I'm the one with the army of megacorp superheroes as backup. But if he's telling the truth… No, I can’t risk letting Scarlet show up to do her thing. Enemy or not, I don't want the man dead.

And so, just under an hour later, I make a tiny alteration to my patrol path, with Rene's permission. I started a little late, so I'm in a little bit of a rush- the second I cut the connection with Bat, I called Juliette to make certain that she was completely fine and un-kidnapped, and I ended up soaking in the reassurance of her voice for a bit longer than I should have. I wanted so badly to just tell her why I was freaking out, but...

Well. Lying to her sucks, but lying to Rene is starting to come pretty naturally. The trick is tying the lie to something vague that they can't reasonably predict- for example, it's easy for me to just tell them that I'm 'checking out some unusual activity' as I pass the location that Bat specified, a construction site that's nice and quiet.

It's a tall building, probably fated to be some big office space once the walls are filled in and the scaffolding ends up wherever scaffolding goes after it's finished its job. I could use it to climb to our meeting point, on the building's roof- but flying is only getting easier with each day of training. It's getting to the point that I might just stop walking altogether.

It only takes a minute, and I'm touching down on- not actually on a roof, exactly, because there's pillars sticking up all over the floor that are clearly intended to eventually hold up a ceiling. I resolve to think of it as the ‘top floor’, rather than ‘the roof.’

Bat's already waiting for me, far away from the building’s edge- and he's not looking so good.

"Bat? You doing alright?" I ask, feeling unexpectedly concerned as I jog to his side. He's bent over double, panting audibly even through the mask. He holds up his hands as I approach, as though to fend me off.

"I'm... good..." he says, between desperate huffs of air. "Just... just got here, too... Underestimated... hah... how long it'd take to... to climb all those stairs…"

He looks up at me, still breathing heavily. His digital faceplate displays an emoticon I haven't seen him use before- a pained expression, with a semicolon sweatdrop running down its face.

It's only then that it really clicks with me that Bat's just.. some guy. An extremely smart 'just some guy', granted, one with an interesting power and access to a lot of very cool toys, but he's not like Scarlet, or even Marquis. He's not like the rest of the Syndicate. He's not like me. I could flatten him to paste right here, right now, without even breaking a sweat.

I swallow, hard. Somehow it hadn’t occurred to me before now that just having powers doesn’t by itself turn you into a superhero, or supervillain. When, then, had I made the change from ‘just some girl’ to ‘Monarch’?

Welp, that's a thought for the vault. I just say, flatly, "The Syndicate could really use a flier or two, huh?"

"Oh you have no idea," he says, finally straightening up. His faceplate displays anger, now, but his tone is joking as he says, "You have it so easy, you know that? You never have to touch a stair again."

"Eh, flying has its ups and downs," I say, and even stressed as I am, I can't help but giggle when Bat's faceplate goes completely blank in protest. I have to admit, he's always fun. I say, “And you seriously didn’t bring the whole gang with you?”

He looks around, demonstratively holding out his hands. “I’m the only one here, right? Paranoid much?”

The flippant response really bothers me, for some reason, and I feel that spike of anger again. I say, bitterly, “Well, I guess I have reason to be paranoid. Apparently, I’m awful at keeping secrets. For all I know, my real name is gonna be trending tomorrow.”

He swaps his digital emotion again, this time signifying laughter- but he doesn’t laugh, himself. God, I bet you could write a book on the nuances of Bat’s expressions. He says, “You? No way. You’re great at secrets."

Then, after a beat, he continues, "That is, uh- I peeped your social stuff, you know- Facebook, Twitter, Yelp reviews, etcetera. You look so normal it’s boring.”

“Then how-”

“It was, um. Kinda an accident, honestly,” he says, displaying a blush. “Don’t tell anyone, but I work at Optimus-”

“You work- what?” I interject, dumbfounded. “No, you don’t. At this point, I’m willing to bet cash that Optimus is tracking my periods- you’re not hiding nightly corporate sabotage from them.”

“Hey, does it bother you a little that your opinion of Optimus has gotten so low that you just automatically assume they’re committing unforgivable violations of privacy?”

“It bothers me plenty,” I admit, with a shrug. “It sucks, but that’s corporations for you.”

Bat shakes his head. “Wild. Anyway, I don’t get screened, for the same reason Scarlet Brighid doesn’t get screened. I’m above suspicion.”

That’s absolutely terrifying. I say, “If that’s true, then you’d have to be a board member, or something. Couldn’t you just talk to me directly?”

A big X flashes on the faceplate. Bat says, "Negative. If you think being high on the food chain means nobody will try to eat you, then you’re not suspicious enough. Case in point: I bet you didn’t even know about all the mics on your suit.”

I blink.

"My what?" I ask, genuinely mystified. "Bat, I don't have a-"

"You have thirteen microphones on you right now- I’ve been jamming them since before I called you." Bat cuts me off, and starts pointing at seemingly random parts of my costume. "There, there, there- that zipper there’s actually got a camera in it, not that Optimus would ever use the footage for transparency-"

I bat his hand away, irritated now. I've trusted him this far, but he could easily be just talking out of his ass. I just say, "I'm still on Optimus's side, Bat, even if they're invasive and weird. If you've called me here with the exact same 'Oh, Optimus is totally evil, trust us instead' pitch Wolf’s always trying on me, then I’m gonna get back to work."

"No, that's fine. I'm not asking you to trust my word," he says easily, before pulling something out of the pouch at his waist. It's a lanyard- the same style that important guests at Optimus tend to wear. Hanging from it is a keycard. He holds it out to me, and the card dangles there between us. "I'm asking you to trust this."

I take it, and rotate it in my hands. It's just plain white plastic- I have an identical card in one of my own pouches, since Optimus doesn't exactly go around writing things like 'SECRET SUB-LEVEL SIX ACCESS' on its keycards. I ask, dubiously, "And this tells me... what? Why do I want this?"

A cheeky smile lights across Bat's faceplate. He says, "You know how I'm sorta just, all up in Optimus's business? All the time?"

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you're super cool. You've aged Paris Optima about twenty years with all the hacking, by the way, she hates you the most."

"Ah." The smile fades, replaced by a blank darkness. "Ouch. But um, anyway, I've read most of your chat logs with her-"

"Creepy."

"-and I know you've been cautioned, repeatedly, for asking about a particular room on Basement Level 10. It's down the end of a long hallway, no number on the door? Is that ringing any bells?"

At some point I started gripping that keycard very, very tight. I look down at it now, and feel my pulse quicken with equal parts excitement and dread. I say, "You're kidding, right? Not even Scarlet Brighid gets in there, she told me herself."

"Optimas only," Bat breathes it like a prayer. He's looking at the keycard very intently- or at least, I guess he is. His face is kinda angled towards it? "All-access- or at least, close enough. The right person could do a lot of damage with that keycard."

It was pretty obviously the wrong thing to say, and the way he straightens right back up tells me he realises that too. I pocket the card, then say, shaking my head, "You know what, you're probably right. If this belongs to an Optima, I need to take it to one. Like right now."

"Lana, wait, listen-"

"Where did you even get it?" I demand, taking a step back, wary of any sudden lunges. "No, don't answer that. Do you have any idea how much trouble I'd get in if I was caught using some bigwig's access card, Bat?"

He holds out his hands, placating. His faceplate stays blank, but I can hear something like panic in his voice as he says, "Yes, yes, I do- but I don't think you do, Lana, that's the problem-"

"It's not a big mystery, my guy! I'd get fired!"

"Fired?" Bat asks, with a laugh of disbelief. "They're not gonna- do you seriously think Optimus would fire you? The woman who can fight the entire Syndicate to a standstill on her own? You're irreplaceable, too."

Despite myself, I feel my face heat up at that description. I say, "That's... obviously a bit of an exaggeration."

"No, it isn't." In another context, those words might be an encouragement, or flattery- but Bat says them grimly, like he just thinks it's very unfortunate for me. "But that doesn't mean you're safe from them, it just means they have some other way to control you.”

I don't know what to say to that, so we just... stand there, staring warily at each other. I've heard enough to know I should just turn around and hop right back off the building, but... something in what Bat just said jolts out an old, forgotten memory. What was it that Marquis had said? Something about Optimus wrapping around you like a parasitic vine, controlling your every movement? I doubt she meant it literally, but…

Well, even if I've been acting the part in front of the Syndicate, I'm not just some corporate bootlicker. I said I trust 'Optimus', but that's not really true. I trust people in Optimus, the ones I know. I trust Rene, and I trust Scarlet. I trust Juliette, too, more than anything. If I rotate the thought around in my mind, I can even say that investigating the company isn't really betraying those people- really, I'd just be finding proof that the company deserves them. Right?

Or maybe I'm just looking for excuses to go somewhere I've been told I can't. I think that might be it.

Bat doesn't seem to mix well with silence. He buckles under the pressure, first by plastering a few new emotions on his faceplate (He settles on a tonally inappropriate smiley face- I guess this is how he forces a smile?), and then by saying, in a rush, "Look, if you're worried about getting caught, don't be. I'd be right there with you, and I can delete you from any logs you end up in."

I quirk an eyebrow. "You'll be with me?" I ask, doubtfully.

"I mean, uh. Digitally. You know. I'll be monitoring you, and inside the system," he says, and his mask becomes a blushy face. "And if what you find in that room doesn't convince you to listen, then... well, then we're done, I guess. But I wouldn't be here if I wasn't confident."

He closes the distance between us, and I let him. He holds out a gloved hand, and asks, "Whaddaya say? Frenemies?"

That's the last little nudge I need, and I won't pretend the fact that Bat's being a huge dork about this has nothing to do with it- I have a soft spot for dorks, as it happens. I clasp the proffered hand tight.

"Frenemies," I repeat, and we shake on that promise. A happy, pointless little thought occurs to me, and I say, “You know, if we’re ever not actively on opposite sides of a corporate war, there’s someone I’d really like to introduce you to.”

The handshake lingers, though not uncomfortably- this moment of truce is a soothing balm to the months of fighting each other, and I don’t think either of us want to be the one to end it. Plus, you know. I like Bat. We can hold hands a little if we want.

Finally, Bat’s faceplate changes- an angry face, again, though it doesn’t remotely match the cheer in his voice as he exclaims, “We’ve been frenemies for ten seconds and you’re already setting me up with someone? Is he at least cute!?”

“You have no idea,” I say, through a laugh. I let the hand drop, and fix the bright LEDs in Bat's mask with a stern glare. "But look, Bat, this isn't going to work twice. If this is just some kind of trick, I’ll…well, I won’t like you anymore.”

I meant it as a joke. There’s really nothing else I could do to him, revenge wise, or at least nothing I’d also be willing to do. And yet, Bat's response is completely sincere, his voice contrasting with the goofy, unchanged expression on his faceplate as he responds, “I know. I hope you can at least believe me when I say that I really, genuinely, do not want that.”

...Then he does change it, into a winky face, which kills the mood a little. I huff out a laugh and say, “Yeah, whatever, man. Listen, I have to go- they’re gonna wonder what I’m looking at.”

I take a few backward steps towards the edge of the roof (the building’s ‘top floor’, I correct myself internally), as Bat replies, “Yeah, it’s been a hot minute. When do you wanna do this?”

My foot lands on scaffolding, and I lean to take a peek over the edge of the building. It’s a long drop to the construction site below, maybe thirty floors. I say, “No time like the present, I guess. I’ve still got my patrol to finish- will you know when I’ve started?”

Bat shoots me a thumbs up. He says, “I can patch into your comm earpiece no problem, so we’ll be able to talk. Give me an hour, then just say 'hey'. We can go from there.”

I look at him a little dubiously. I have no idea where the dude lives, but just getting up here almost knocked him out. Could he even climb down and then get back to his secret bat-cave in time for that?

I gesture over my back with a thumb, and ask, “Do you, uh- do you want a lift down?”

He laughs, sounding just a little uncomfortable. Arms crossed, he says, “Um, no, I’m okay actually. Thanks.”

I insist, “You’re gonna have to climb all the way down. I can get you there in like ten seconds.”

“Or in like, one second…” he mutters, and he hesitantly joins me over at the edge. He takes a peek down at the street below, and shivers. “God, how do you do that?”

“It was scary at first,” I admit. I don’t mention that I still haven’t stopped having those nightmares where my power stops working mid flight and I plummet to the ground, because I’m not sure if that'd be much of a comfort. I step off the edge of the building, where I do not fall, but instead do a languorous midair twirl to face him (I can admit to showing off a little). I say, “Come on, you’ve seen me catch rocks big enough I think they technically count as continents. I can carry two people.”

Bat says, dryly, “Yeah, don't get Badger started on that. She says that fighting you just boils down to us finding fun new ways to give you ammunition.”

“What was it you said? You hope we can trust each other?” I ask, cutting through his nervous snark. I hold out my hand. "I’m not gonna make you, but- look, do you really think I’d just let you fall?”

"I know you wouldn't," he said, and he takes my hand, holding it tight.

#villainous nights #lovestruck voltage #lovestruck #lovestruck fanfiction

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griffin-girl-r · 8 months

Text

Think about your old mama (Part 1)

Created: 10.01.2023

Finished: 16.02.2023

Edited: 25.09.2023

Age: 20

Word count: 3,988

Warnings: Car accident

Request: No

Note: Based on true events that were altered to fit the plot.

Summary: You and your cousin, Peter, get involved in a car accident.

Part 2

—

"Oh, come on, Y/N. It's gonna be fun!" Peter pleaded for the one hundred time this morning

"Peter, I said that I don't want to. Okay?! I'm in no mood to go out today." You answered boarded while rolling your eyes

"Please..." He begged "Look! If this is all just because you don't want to ask your mom to let us out, then I'm going to be the one to ask Miss Romanoff for permission to let us go to the movie."

And, with the speed of light, Peter took off towards the living room where your mother was working on some files.

"Peter, no!" You shouted but it was already too late

—

"Please, Miss Romanoff..." Peter dragged out in a baby voice "Can you please let us go to the cinema today? We won't do anything stupid. I promise."

Although she won't admit it Natasha is very impressed and proud of how well-behaved you and Peter are. Despite being officially adults you both still asked for permission to go out or to buy expensive things.

"Fine, Peter." Natasha sighed as she tried to focus on the reports she was filling "But my daughter will be the one to drive till there. Understood?"

"Yes, Miss Romanoff. Thank you so much!" Peter eagerly nodded

"But you'll have to tell Tony. He has to agree first as well." Natasha explained

Peter nodded again.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you please tell Mr. Stark about our plans?" He asked the A.I.

"Mr. Stark has been informed already and he is giving you his permission to go, Mr. Parker." The voice answered back almost instantly much to Peter's joy

"Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y." Peter smiled in victory "So, Miss Romanoff?"

"Alright, Peter. You win." Your mother sighed deeply

"Yes!" The boy cheered

Just then, you entered the room and gave your mother the most disappointed look you could ever muster.

"Why can't I have a say in this?!" You asked in an annoyed tone as you started making your way toward the couch

Your mother slightly moved over to make you some space to sit down next to her and when you did, the woman didn't hesitate a second in tightly wrapping her arms around your shoulders, bringing you even closer to her.

"Y/N, baby, can't you for once do what your cousin wants to? He literally just wants to go out to the cinema with you. Nothing more." Natasha said in a soft but serious tone and you knew she meant business "He just wants to spend some quality time with you."

You can't get out of this one now.

Peter won and he knew it.

"No, Mama. And on top of all, why do I have to be the one to drive?" You complained, about to throw a tantrum at your mom for the fact that she decided for you "Peter is literally 2 months older than me."

"Actually, 2 and a half months." Peter corrected which only made you more upset at him

"Shut up, Peter!" You gave him a death glare that made Peter instantly regret that he opened his mouth "Mama, please... I have a weird feeling about this."

Natasha rolled her eyes "Oh, come on, Y/N. I think you're just being overdramatic about all this. Nothing is going to happen. I promise."

The woman gave you a reassuring smile.

And maybe she was right.

She is always right after all.

'I mean, what could possibly go wrong?!' You thought 'Maybe I am just overreacting.'

You sighed then nodded "Okay, Mama."

"That's my girl." Natasha smiled and kissed your head "A Romanoff never complains about something as simple as having to be the one that drives to the cinema."

"What are you waiting for, Peter?" You looked in the direction of your cousin "Go and get ready. We're going to go to the cinema."

You blinked and Peter was gone already running down the hall toward his room to get changed.

His silly actions only make you burst out laughing.

"I swear sometimes he still acts like a 5-year-old." You laughed as you got up from the couch to go get changed too "How is he even older than me anyways?"

"Did he ever grow up at all?" Natasha joked as well

"I think you might be right, Mama." You laughed again at her small joke about your cousin

Turning around you started walking towards the door only to be stopped by your mother who pulled you back by your arm.

You made no effort to hide your confusion. Openly displaying it on your face for her to see.

Natasha quickly pulled you in a tight hug "Just be careful, okay?!" She quietly said in your ear "Pay attention to the road and don't speed. Did you get it? Especially with Peter in the car."

You slightly smiled although you started to grow quite fed up with her speech.

She always hugged you and told you to be careful before leaving home.

It didn't matter if you went out by your car or your motorbike or even if someone else was driving. She just always needed to tell you to take care of yourself despite the fact that you are now an adult and more than capable of taking care of yourself.

But Natasha couldn't lose you and she always made sure you knew that one way or another.

It didn't matter if she told you directly or by constantly reminding you to take care of yourself, Natasha just always made sure you knew.

You were Natasha's entire world and she couldn't risk losing you. She couldn't live without you.

"Don't worry, Mama." You reassured the older redhead "I'm going to be extra careful, especially with Peter in the car. Although I never got it how Peter can swing between New York's highest buildings but he's afraid of a small drive to the cinema."

Natasha chuckled at your comment "I told you, baby. He never actually grew up. He's reckless when it comes to dangerous situations but scared of normal events that happen every day."

Natasha smiled but it didn't quite reach her ears.

She also had this strange feeling in her chest that something bad was about to happen but she brushed it off.

She was sure it was nothing and she was again just being her overprotective self.

"Go and have fun, baby." Natasha smiled and lightly patted your back

You gave her one last smile and left the room.

—

"Isn't it fun, Y/N?" Peter shouted as he was currently vibing to the loud music on the radio

"You are having the time of your life, aren't you, Pete?" You laughed back at him but your eyes never left the road ahead as you were mindful of your mother's words

The fun and singing didn't stop the entire way to the cinema but when you were 2 minutes away from it, Peter suddenly turned down the music and kept silent.

"Pete?" You asked concerned "What's wrong?"

Peter focused on the road ahead for a few good seconds only making your worry get bigger at his lack of words.

"Y/N?" Peter whispered still focusing on the road ahead "Danger..."

His words made you even more worried than you already were.

"What do you mea-" But before you got the chance to finish your sentence a loud scream from Peter cut your words

"Y/N, watch out!" Peter screamed

And right at that moment, you noticed a red car, that was in the other traffic lane coming towards you at full speed, and without any hesitation, you pulled the steering wheel to the right in an attempt to get out of the other car's way and protect Peter at the same time.

You didn't get time to feel anything. You just heard a few loud crashing sounds then nothing.

Your vision went black.

—

Natasha was still in the living room filling mission reports for Fury when the ringtone of her phone pulled her out of the work she was doing and she looked at the caller's ID.

Natasha scrunched her face in confusion when she saw that the person calling her was none other than Peter.

She knew that, by now, you and him were supposed to be watching the movie you went to see. So why is he calling her so soon?

"Hi, Peter!" Natasha answered her phone, worry evident in her voice "Has something happened?"

On the other side could be heard some people talking and siren noises that made Natasha's heart instantly sink in her chest.

"Miss Romanoff?" Peter's shakey voice came out through the speaker

"Peter, what happened, boy?" Natasha jumped on her feet, her work long forgotten as she demanded an answer from the young boy on the phone "Where's Y/N? Is she okay? Are you okay?"

"Please come and help us." Peter cried "There... There..." He sobbed out and took a moment to catch his breath before continuing "There was a driver that crashed into our car. Y/N..."

The dead silence of Peter at the other end made Natasha feel dizzy as she feared the worst.

The woman allowed her legs to give up on her as she fell back down on the couch. Her breath came out in weird patterns.

"What happened to my daughter, Peter?!" Natasha almost yelled feeling like Peter was taking an eternity to answer her

"Y/N isn't waking up!" Peter cried "I don't know what else to do. Please come and help us!"

Tears were already streaming down Natasha's cheeks but she managed to bring herself together enough to give Peter a quick answer and order F.R.I.D.A.Y. to give her the location of your car and announce the others about the accident.

—

Saying Natasha was a mess was an understatement.

She was completely lost. Steve and Clint had to hold her back from taking down the door and running out to her car.

She wasn't in any state to drive and the team knew it.

Tony wasn't any better than Natasha either but after he got to talk with Peter on the phone his nerves slightly eased and was able to think just a little bit more rationally than Natasha.

"I managed to convince the authorities to bring the kids here to our medbay and also give us custody over the driver that crashed into them." Tony announced as Natasha was making her 5th attempt to get out of the door and run to the place where her daughter was

She felt like she was going crazy with each second that passed where she had no news about her only child's state.

"Damn it!" Natasha yelled in frustration as she let her tears fall freely "Please... Please, at least tell me if she's alive. I need to know that my baby is alive."

"We don't know yet, Romanoff. We need to wait for them to arrive at the compound." Tony said trying to look strong even though he was as worried for Peter as Natasha was for her daughter

"This is all your boy's fault, Stark!" Natasha yelled at Tony "I should have never listened to him and forced my daughter to go with him. My daughter was right!"

But as soon as these words left her mouth, the spy immediately regretted them.

It wasn't Peter's fault and she knew it.

It wasn't your fault either. You did what she told you to do. To take care of your cousin.

She was just worried.

She couldn't understand how a person manages to keep being sane or human after losing their own children.

Only the thought that there might be a possibility of losing you made the woman lose her mind.

"I think this is actually all your daughter's fault, Romanoff!" Tony spat back at Natasha after her previous words about Peter that hurt him "If only she would have been more careful none of this would have happened. If she's dead it's all her fault and she deserves it!" The man yelled

Natasha stopped breathing momentarily at Tony's words and she shook her head.

"No..." She whispered shout at everyone and anyone that was in the room but then she proceeded to scream "No! No! No! My daughter is alive! My baby is alive! I can feel it! She has to! It's not her fault. She's innocent!"

The team stared at Natasha in shock as they saw her breaking down for the first time in front of them.

Natasha had always been a calculated person and displaying her feelings openly for anyone to see was something rare and strange.

The only feeling she ever allowed herself to show in public was the infinite and unconditional love she had for you.

But nothing more.

"She can't die." Natasha sobbed as she fell to her knees making Tony feel bad for reacting with fire to fire "I need her."

"Romanoff..." Tony thought about how to apologize for the hurtful words he said to her

But just as Tony was about to come up with a good apology the robotic voice of F.R.I.D.A.Y. pulled everyone out of their own thoughts.

"Miss Romanoff and Mr. Parker have arrived at the medbay and Doctor Banner's presence is immediately requested there." The robotic voice announces sending everyone running toward the medbay

—

Natasha was the first one to run inside the medbay. Even faster than Bruce or even Steve.

She desperately looked around trying to catch a glimpse of her baby girl but she only spotted Peter being checked over by a doctor in one of the rooms.

"Peter!" The ex-assassin shouted and took off towards the young boy "Peter, where's Y/N? What happened to you both? Is she- is she alive? Please tell me she's alive!"

"Peter, my boy." Tony rushed to Peter's side and started checking him over "How are you feeling? Are you okay? What hurts?"

Peter tearfully looked at Tony and as soon as their eyes met, the spider boy burst out sobbing again.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Stark!" He cried "I'm so sorry!"

Tony quickly pulled Peter in for an unexpected but much-needed hug.

"It's okay." Tony reassured the boy he considered his own son "Everything will be okay. Can you tell us what happened?"

It was ironic. Really. To see two of the most strongest Avengers being so soft and emotional given the situation where the life of their children was involved.

"We..." Peter sniffed and took a deep breath to steady himself "We left to go to the cinema. You know because we asked you and Miss Romanoff for permission to go..."

Tony nodded and signaled for Peter to go on.

"Y/N was driving and we were having so much fun. We were almost there when I suddenly felt danger near us. But before we got the chance to react in any way a car crashed into us." Peter cried

"What's important is that you are okay." Steve softly smiled at Peter

Natasha never felt more hurt and betrayed in her entire life.

Sure.

She is happy that Peter was okay and he just had a few cuts and bruises. Nothing major. He was more in shock than hurt. But what about her daughter?

No one was caring about Y/N. They all hovered above Peter.

No one was giving her a hint about her Y/N and Natasha was going more and more insane.

"Peter, please!" Natasha begged "Please, tell me something about my daughter. Anything."

Poor Peter who barely calmed down started crying all over again at Natasha's concerned questions about your state.

"Anything, Peter!" Natasha cried again "Any information."

"I'm going to answer for him." Bruce's voice boomed from behind Natasha as he entered the room

All heads snapped in the doctor's direction and they anxiously waited for a much-needed answer about you.

"First of all." Bruce said loud and clear for everybody to hear "Y/N is alive."

Natasha felt instant relief wash over her and the hammering feeling in her chest slightly disappeared.

Her baby is alive.

That's all Natasha needed to hear to know everything will be okay.

"How is she?" The redhead eagerly questioned wanting to know as many details as possible about her daughter's health state

"She's still unconscious but, by a miracle, she only got away with 2 broken ribs, a concussion, her right shoulder dislocated, and most probably a lifetime scare besides the obvious cuts and bruises all over her body. She was extremely lucky this time. But also brave because Peter wouldn't have got away so easily if she didn't get the passenger side out of the other car's way."

It was as if Natasha's soul had returned to her at the news that her only baby was going to be okay.

The woman raised her hand and rested it over her chest as the ache in her heart went away.

"Can I see her?" Natasha hopefully asked Bruce

Bruce nodded "She's in the second room on the left. She's still asleep but she might wake up any moment from the next few minutes to the next few days."

"But she is going to wake up right?" Your mother became worried again

Bruce was quick to calm her down.

"She will wake up without a doubt." Bruce smiled "She is just resting now."

Natasha gave Bruce a grateful smile and ran out towards the room her daughter was in, wasting no second in rushing to Y/N's side.

Bruce looked at Tony and Peter and smiled at them "You're going to be just fine too, Peter. Don't worry."

—

Natasha let out a sob when she saw her little girl lying unconscious on the bed.

You were covered in wires, bandages, and cuts, and according to your mother, you looked so small and fragile.

She couldn't bear seeing you like this.

But Natasha reminded herself that you could have looked even worse than this but soon she erased that awful image out of her mind of a very pale you laying dead on a cold table.

That thought was too much for Natasha.

Your death would mean her death.

She just couldn't live without the joy and light of her life and would follow you without hesitation.

What point has to keep living if her reason to live isn't alive anymore?

Brushing all these thoughts out of her head, your mother slowly walked to your side and gingerly grasped your uninjured hand in hers.

"Hey, baby..." Natasha whispered as she gently stroked the back of your hand with her thumb "Mama is here now. I promise I won't let anything happen to you, my love. I'm so sorry I haven't listened to you from the beginning. You were right. I had the same weird feeling that something would happen too but I convinced myself that I was just overreacting."

Natasha took a deep breath and then chuckled.

"I just didn't want to be a burden to you by being again the protective mama bear you know. But I'll admit I made a mistake by not being overprotective again. I shouldn't have let Peter convince me so easily." A tear rolled down her cheek and Natasha was quick in wiping it "I could have lost you. I know you only did what I told you to but still... I can't make this fear that I have inside my chest leave me alone no matter how hard I try. I was never so scared. You are the most important thing in the entire world to me and the only person I truly care about. You taught me what true and unconditional love means and without you I am empty. So please open your beautiful eyes and look at Mama. Wake up and tell me you are okay..."

Natasha wanted to be here for you when you woke up but she also wanted to go and teach the person who did this to you a lesson and to make them pay for what they did.

No one hurts Natasha Romanoff's daughter and gets away with it.

No one.

—

The Avengers had come and gone during the 5 hours your mother spent by your side waiting for you to wake up, each of them telling Natasha that they wished you would get well soon and that they would also keep updating her on what actually happened at the accident scene.

Apparently, the red car's driver was coming home from a party he spent all night drinking at and he was trying to drive home. The driver wasn't too badly injured either but he also wasn't remembering much from what happened when the crash took place.

Your mother was filled with anger and hate towards the driver who did this to you and Peter and she planned to make him pay at any cost.

Even though the team reassured her that they would take the matter into their own hands she still wanted to teach that driver a lesson too.

It was in the 6th hour after your mama was allowed to see you that you slowly opened your eyes trying to adjust to the light inside the room.

You were confused and you felt like a train had hit you full force.

Natasha was quick to lean over you so you could fully see her face without having to move around.

She gently cupped your cheeks and softly smiled at you.

"Hi there, baby." She quietly greeted you as she gave you time to adjust to your surroundings

"What happened?" You whispered in your confused state "Where am I? Where's Peter?"

"You are in the medbay, sweetheart. You had a car accident. Peter is okay. You made sure of that." Natasha clarified for you "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got hit by a car." You slightly chuckled but the smile on your face was quickly replaced with a full of pain whimper "Maybe that's because I was." You continued your joke after the wave of pain had washed off

Natasha giggled at your silliness. Even in this state, you were still making bad jokes.

"I was so worried, baby girl." She tearfully admitted "Think about your old mama next time when you plan on doing something heroic. You can't leave her alone now. Not now, not ever. But especially not now that she's getting more older. Mama can't live without her only joy."

You felt bad for making your mother worry. It wasn't your intention. You just wanted to protect Peter as she told you to do.

"I'm really sorry. That wasn't my plan." You flashed her a sad smile "I just wanted to save Peter."

"I know, baby." She sniffled "I'm just glad that you are alive, okay, and back in my arms once again. I promise I'm going to take very good care of you. You'll see that you will recover in no time at all."

You laughed.

"I know you will, Mama. I wasn't doubting that." You smiled

"How about you rest? Huh? You need it, my love. I'm going to be here when you wake up again." Natasha stroked the hair out of your face with her finger

"Promise?" You yawned

"I promise." She smiled and kissed your forehead as your eyes shut closed

—

After she announced to Bruce that you had woken up, Natasha went straight to find the stupid driver who put her baby girl in a hospital bed.

And oh boy, she wasn't happy at all.

The driver learned his lesson to never drink and drive ever again.

Your mother gave him such a beating that even if he wanted to drive he wouldn't be able to for a long, long time from now on.

Natasha wasn't going to let anything happen to her daughter again.

But most importantly she will never let you be the one to drive again.

#mama nat #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #natasha x daughter!reader #natasha's child #natasha's kid #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #natasha x teen reader #natasha x baby!reader

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