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liltaz-asatreat · 9 days

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Thing I keep forgetting about Merle Highchurch despite relistening to balance over and over again for over a year and a half: He's canonically diabetic

#@prev it's been a grip of time since I've relistened to balance; but I remember making this post because there was some point after htbg #where Merle/Clint brings it up again that felt like he was doubling down that it was a canon trait; but I forgot when #I feel like it was when Leon was offering them sweets during that one lunar interlude??#which could have also been played as a joke; but I remember it was either then or some other time that he said it more seriously #But ye; I guess since it was only brought up like; twice; that isn't a lot of evidence; but I'd also like to think it's canon lol :)

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liltaz-asatreat · 1 month

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gnashing my teeth. the nested time loops in taz balance. the final cycle of the stolen century, they believe the grand relics are their bitter victory — their long overdue key to never letting the loop restart, never forcing them to do this all over again. they believe that with this sacrifice, they finally have the cycles conquered — and then, what do our heroes do, but lose their memories? they have to start from square one. relearn who they are. rebuild their bonds with each other that spent a whole century cultivating.

us, the audience, who are starting the podcast with episode one — we missed that story the first time you lived it. the first time you told it.

so, tell us again.

tell us how you met each other, tell us about your job. tell us the the destruction that no one but you survived, tell us about the way it shaped you. tell us all the hidden depths of the mongoose — tell us about your friends, the two lovers who cheated death together. tell us how you grew closer, throughout all of this.

tell us about the person who saw all of existence, who glimpsed the meaning of it all. tell us about the restless souls, the dissatisfaction — and how you reached out to that person at the center of it. tell us about a kingdom of robots. tell us, maybe don't admit it quite yet, but show us: the three of you growing closer still.

tell us a story about a time loop in a time loop in a time loop. where the apocalypse never ends, but your death never sticks. tell us how it affected you — for your actions to have no consequence, until they did. tell us how you'd do anything to stop the cataclysm, to break the loop, and tell us how for that, you were judged. tell us how you did good recklessly.

and tell us about the twins, tell us about the liches, about what you're willing to sacrifice. tell us how you leapt into danger to save a friend. tell us how you let yourself be saved. tell us everything you've finally had time to (re)-learn: how to care for each other and be cared for. tell us how you learnt to trust. tell us how, finally, you remember the mistakes you made last time.

we, the audience, missed that story the first time you told it. we need you to tell it again — but this time, this one special time, you'll have a shot at a better ending.

so tell us this story about time loops. tell us this story about stories.

#GOING INSANE WITH THIS ONE #THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT IS; I'M BITING THIS POST AND SHAKING IT LIKE A DOG (POSITIVE)#taz balance

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liltaz-asatreat · 2 months

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Tumblr is doing some stupid AI shit so go to blog settings > Visibility > Prevent third-party sharing.

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liltaz-asatreat · 2 months

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What is this about the tumblr staff wanting to sell art data to midjourney?

An ex-colleague of mine mentioned yesterday that there may be contacts between Automattic and midjourney in that direction, but nothing is public yet and I don't have any more info. They probably won't have anything specific to share either, since they left the company weeks ago too. That being said:

I have no reason to doubt my ex-coworker word, they are a trustworthy person.

Tumblr's CEO has been absurdly enthusiastic (comically, even) about AI, and is a big fan of LLMs and 'AI' companies.

A deal with midjourney could solve tumblr financial issues (not the same company, but openAi is paying up to 5 million/year to news companies to use their content as training data... tumblr generates several orders of magnitude more content than any newspaper or any media company and it only would need a 20 to 30 million per year deal to be profitable)

So I don't have any extra info yet, but I'm keeping my ears open.

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liltaz-asatreat · 2 months

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The thing about the Heart Attack segment in Wonderland is that they put so much aromantic subtext in it. They accidentally put SO much aromantic subtext in it, on behalf of multiple characters, and I'm thinking about it constantly. Let me tell you all about it.

Magnus is dropped into a dating game and literally leads with "I cannot stress enough how uninterested I am in this." Now, it's perfectly valid to read this as due to him waiting for Julia, or just him being plain old uncomfortable with having his love life put in the spotlight. However! I cannot stress enough the exchange that happens just a minute or two after that line:

Magnus (describing his ideal date): ... and we don't see each other again, ‘cause I'm really not interested in dating. Audience: [exaggerated] Oooooh! (cheers) Griffin: The silhouette is like, fanning itself. Lydia: Playing hard to get, huh? It seems like our contestant is into that.

And I just have to say: unfortunately, this is one of the most aromantic fucking experiences I've seen represented in fiction in my life. I mean — saying you're not interested in romance, then having those words twisted on you, like they're some secret coded way of saying that you are interested in romance? Not having a single way to express your disinterest that'll actually be believed? That's some aro shit right there. God. Fuck.

As an aside, It's enough to really tell that Heart Attack is not designed to be a reprieve from the pain, even though it's the "good outcome" of Trust or Forsake. It's designed to be uncomfortable. To funnel suffering to Edward and Lydia, just like all the other games do. (More on that later, in fact.) But in summary:

Magnus is a character who can be read as uncomfortable with romance for either aro-spec reasons or unrelated reasons. But in either case, his discomfort attracts reactions that reek of amatonormativity — and therefore, resonate with aromantic experiences. (Psst, I did recently write a gray-aro Magnus fic!)

Two more analyses below the cut (and only one of them is for another Horny Boy):

Obviously the next character I need to talk about is Merle. I've found aroallo readings of his character to be compelling for a long time (having sex with plants so you don't have to worry about romantic commitment, am I right?), but the way he describes his "ideal date" is another factor:

Merle: I volunteer to drive her vehicle, and tell her it's filthy, and so we go through the uh- drive through vehicle wash and she pays for that too. Um, and then I take her to have dinner with my family, and- Magnus: Wait, like your wife and stuff? Merle: She meets my ex-wife.

Merle's probably exaggerating as a joke, continuing on about both him and his partner being miserable, but I think the fact that Merle's mind goes here is genuinely drawing from a lot of poor romantic experiences in the past. He didn't get a choice about being on Heart Attack, and his marriage with Hecuba was similarly "arranged".

It's also worth noting that at this point in time, Merle is putting in the work to be part of Mavis and Mookie's lives again, but is not interested in doing the same for Hecuba — he instead just asks Mavis how she's doing. That said, given that Magnus is the one to put the focus on Merle's ex-wife, I think it's fair to read the "family" comment as Merle expressing that he'd rather spend time with his kids than give any special romantic attention to his date. Moving on to the rest of the "joke":

Merle: She's having a miserable time and she's really mad, she can't wait to get outta there. I take her back to her house, and so I lean up against the door jam and say, 'Sure you don't want me to come in for a few minutes?' and she slams the door in my face.

It's possible Merle just has a more roundabout, self-deprecating way of expressing a similar thing to what Magnus did: Merle just isn't interested in dating. To me, the last line implies he might not say no to sex, if offered — but overall, it reads as if Merle is putting minimal effort in because he's looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship anyway.

It's also possible that Merle's "rejection" of a suitor being so disguised as humor could point to him still coming to terms with his disinterest in dating. Particularly, in comparison to Magnus, who is so vocal and unashamed about it, while Merle might still be figuring this all out.

(Honestly, the self-deprecation Merle turns to here is actually kind of sad, when viewed in that light — he already lets himself be the butt of jokes so often, and now he feels like the way romance doesn't click for him has to be a joke, too? Oof. Someone give him a hug and tell him he's not broken this instant!) But regardless:

Merle views dates, and perhaps romance in general, as things that will inevitably turn disastrous for him and any party involved with him, and he would rather spend time with his children than repairing a relationship with an ex, or cultivating a relationship with a new partner. This is not an experience exclusive to the aro-spec umbrella, but you can't say that an aromantic reading of his character doesn't fit him like a gardening glove...

...which he wears while fucking his plants. Because plants don't demand emotional intimacy, nor take too much time away from the platonic relationships that matter more to him. And you know what? He's fucking valid for that! Fly your flag, nasty grandpa!

But moving on: I promised you aromantic analysis of characters outside of our protagonists, and henceforth, that analysis I will provide. And not just because I admittedly see Taako as the token alloromantic (though clearly an aro ally; if he hadn't chosen Forsake we wouldn't have gotten all this incredible characterization!)

I digress. So let's go on to addressing the lich twins in the room: Edward and Lydia.

Remember my argument earlier that Heart Attack serves the purpose of collecting suffering just like the rest of Wonderland does? How it's just a subtler way of making Wonderland's victims fundamentally uncomfortable?

...Using, of all things, romance?

How the vogue twins, for whatever reason, felt inspired to make people uncomfortable with matchmaking and adoration? How, some way or another, they noticed how much potential romance had to induce suffering? Being pressured into a relationship, being told that no matter how firmly you say you're uninterested, you're not really uninterested?

...Relatedly, I have always gotten the sense that Edward and Lydia projected relentlessly onto their victims.

Edward: This resolve, this desire to do whatever it takes no matter the cost to save yourselves — do you know who you three remind me of? Magnus: No? Merle: Who? Edward: Us!

I'm even going to go a step further and say that on top of projection, they want their victims to go through things they went through. Swallowing the guilt of having fucked someone else over to survive, of course — that's basically self-admitted. But possibly also... the feeling of not being able to get back what you lost (Keats). The feeling of being able to heal (Keats).

So, where does that leave Heart Attack?

Lydia: It was the three of us, surviving against all odds. The world against us.

Their family of three was (is) indescribably important to them. I'm not necessarily saying that societal expectations of romance, especially of romance as a priority above that of family, left a bad taste in their mouths — if not downright contributing to their trauma — but, okay, I wrote the rest of this post and now that I'm back, I can no longer deny it. I'm definitely, absolutely saying that.

At the time of the podcast, we know Edward and Lydia's own relationship is heavily strained. Until the end, they are lying to themselves and to each other about the fact that they continue to be emotionally and magically reliant on each other. After all, Lydia wouldn't say "I guess we really needed each other after all" in her dying moments with such surprise otherwise.

This is the second reason that I... well, I wouldn't quite call it a "theory," but I find it most impactful to read Edward and Lydia as characters for whom the concept of Love has baggage. And always has, from their origins as youth in a tough spot in an already amatonormative world.

Maybe the constant societal devaluing of platonic, familial bonds left them with serious emotional scars. Maybe the constant conflation of Love and morality just weighed on them and weighed on them and weighed on them until they decided: well, we don't love the way people expect us to, so we might as well give up on being the good people they expect us to be. We might as well embrace this new fuel of suffering.

...You know, I hope this gets across what I mean when I always say I headcanon villains as aromantic to make them more sympathetic.

Edward and Lydia, textually, are already tragic villains. As twins and liches, they're also textually foil characters to several of the Seven Birds. But I also like to think that they have a lot in common with Magnus and Merle, and the possibility that tugs at my heartstrings the most is the possibility of them all falling under the aromantic umbrella.

#👀👀#This is a good read on everyone holy shit #I've always thought Merle was aroallo; but Magnus and the lich twins being arospec never crossed my mind;#and that is the most inspired take honestly #this is Good Food #taz balance #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #lydia #edward

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liltaz-asatreat · 2 months

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Thinking about Johann Adventurezone again. As one does. Thinking about how he gets his wish — how he and his music will be remembered, for centuries and centuries to come.

But... there's also this core theme of the campaign about bonds transcending memory. How people can be forgotten, but their effects can't be erased. The lives that they touched remain so.

Those who were there for the Day of Story and Song will dwindle in number, passing away. Children will be born who have no memory of that day, but... the Story and Song will be passed onto them nonetheless. Over the generations, its telling might change, Johann's music might change — but what won't change is that the world is still there because of Johann. Because of what he wrote to give them strength.

The bonds remain. That feels almost like memory on a genetic level, to me — memory as an action, and the action is continuing to live and thrive.

#😭😭😭😭😭#taz balance #johann

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liltaz-asatreat · 3 months

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HELL YEAH SOMEWHERE ELSE I CAN INFODUMP ABOUT SUNSHINE!!!

OK so hi hello, I'll tag my related blog at the bottom since that's where I talk about her and what franchise she's in so anyone who's interested can check out the things I've got for her there

Starting off! Her full name is Sunshine Fairfield and she's a half-elf sorcerer-bard in the world of DnD podcast The Adventure Zone. She's an eighth bird, which for those who haven't listened to the podcast means that she's a part of a group of people who ended up in a sort of universe-hopping time loop for 100 years. They ended up separated in the last universe and year... 101 I think? Due to a choice one of them made that resulted in almost all of them losing memory of the century and each other. A few of them ended up leading normal lives, but some of them had complications with that. I could go super super in depth with this just because of how much I love the Adventure Zone, but for the sake of the character limit, that's essentially the long story short for how it all starts out.

I'm in the process of writing a whole story for her and I've almost finished the Crystal Kingdom arc, for those who know. What I haven't written, I've at least mapped out, though the Eleventh Hour arc is kind of an exception and so are some parts of Stolen Century.

As some basic information on Sunshine herself, like I mentioned she's a half-elf sorcerer-bard with emphasis on the bard part. At the time of the story starting, she's in about her thirties, and the life she ends up leading in their last universe is one of a traveling performer, using her magic to help with special effects.

If or when this gets posted, I'll reblog from @institute-of-planar-shitposts to kinda lay out what parts of the story I have written and talk about what I haven't yet. I'm always happy to answer questions about her, and my pinned has some links to things related to her that I have here on tumblr. It should include her tag - I'm actually going to check that and make sure. Thanks for reading!

thank you for sharing!!

#:D!!!!#I Love Her #You Will Percieve Her #(also; I am sorry to everyone who has sent an ask or tagged me in something in the last few however long #I promise I will get to it at some point; and I appreciate that you all wanted to send me something or include me :) lol)#Sunshine tag! :D

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liltaz-asatreat · 3 months

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based on this video that i cant stop thinking about………

#:(#taz balance #taz art #taz comic #barry bluejeans #lucretia #taako #merle highchurch #magnus burnsides

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liltaz-asatreat · 3 months

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just going about my day and being suddenly struck by a vivid mental image of Barry's eyes glowing red in a way that makes it clear that he's currently animating some kind of undead creature, but no one else on the Starblaster can see any shambling undead hanging around, so the ship* simply erupts into a chorus of "drop it!" and "let me see what you have!" like commanding a mischievous dog

(*except Lup, who is always very supportive of her golden retriever necromancer boyfriend)

#FHFKSBFKSBFMSBFMDBF #taz balance

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liltaz-asatreat · 3 months

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#(taako voice) i wish someone would tell merle #<- prev ×4 #FHFMSBFNSHFKSBFKDBF

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liltaz-asatreat · 5 months

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#they sleep in the pocket

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liltaz-asatreat · 5 months

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Lesbians Love Him:

local carpenter and universe savior just friends with a lot of lesbians, reports say

#I know I've reblogged this before because it's SO funny #But I do have to ask this time #why would this be about Jesus?? lol #I get the carpenter thing and universe savior thing; but??

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liltaz-asatreat · 5 months

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we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

#OK PREV I WILL. MERLE HIGHCHURCH #<- tag by Ent #aw bud #you didn't need to say that #/j #DHFKDBFNDBF

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liltaz-asatreat · 5 months

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My favorite part about the arm wrestling scene in the Eleventh Hour is Magnus running away and saying he totally has diamonds, but they're at the bank (which by itself, would make sense kind of because you can find diamonds at a bank in a bank account you would own), but then he also says they're in his other pants which begs the question of what the fuck was he doing in the bank before then? Lmfao Why would his pants be in the bank? Let alone a bank in which, for all they know, he's never used because he's new to town? A town that's a closed system and no one has gotten through the bubble since it came up a year ago?

Did this absolute stranger strip and change his clothes at the bank? And just left his clothes lying around at, again, the bank??

Deranged. Love it. Lmfao

#you will not be able to escape the pants post #you Will look at the art lol <3 #the magnus pants post

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liltaz-asatreat · 5 months

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My favorite part about the arm wrestling scene in the Eleventh Hour is Magnus running away and saying he totally has diamonds, but they're at the bank (which by itself, would make sense kind of because you can find diamonds at a bank in a bank account you would own), but then he also says they're in his other pants which begs the question of what the fuck was he doing in the bank before then? Lmfao Why would his pants be in the bank? Let alone a bank in which, for all they know, he's never used because he's new to town? A town that's a closed system and no one has gotten through the bubble since it came up a year ago?

Did this absolute stranger strip and change his clothes at the bank? And just left his clothes lying around at, again, the bank??

Deranged. Love it. Lmfao

#scheduling this for thirty minutes after the first reblog so you can look at the cool art :)#the magnus pants post #more art will follow lol :>

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liltaz-asatreat · 5 months

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My favorite part about the arm wrestling scene in the Eleventh Hour is Magnus running away and saying he totally has diamonds, but they’re at the bank (which by itself, would make sense kind of because you can find diamonds at a bank in a bank account you would own), but then he also says they’re in his other pants which begs the question of what the fuck was he doing in the bank before then? Lmfao Why would his pants be in the bank? Let alone a bank in which, for all they know, he’s never used because he’s new to town? A town that’s a closed system and no one has gotten through the bubble since it came up a year ago?

Did this absolute stranger strip and change his clothes at the bank? And just left his clothes lying around at, again, the bank??

Deranged. Love it. Lmfao

#Happy Second Birthday to the post about one of the worst lies Magnus ever told turning into the funniest AU about his pants curse <3 #also; thanks; Sierra; for reminding me this post exists and that it's almost its birthday FHDKSBDKSBDK <3 #the magnus pants post

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liltaz-asatreat · 5 months

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you in his DMs. i’m erasing his memories so that he and the rest of my family can be happy and safe while i try to fix what we did. we are not the same. oh god, magnus, no. magnus, i’m so sorry. it’ll all be okay, just lie down, i don’t want you to get hurt. magnus, i love you so much, i love you all so much-

#HEY >:(

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