#I don't care if I'm hitting all the wrong tags people need to understand my views of this event
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I'm not normally one to rant or anything but here goes.
I hesitate to tag this. but I feel it needs to be said, in fact I feel it HAS to be said or I think this fandom is just going to be done for within the next 5 or so years. People need to read this and understand what is happening within the fandom and not continue this behavior or turn a blind eye to it.
This fandom has a SERIOUS problem. I don't say that lightly either. I feel like 99% of this fandom are sweet and caring people. but we have that 1%.
This 1% is killing the community in this fandom. How is it okay to message someone, demand they make a statement on THEIR blog and when they say they don't want to talk about it you then tell them you wish they would die a horrible death?
TW for suicide and SA! (you have been warned) Long rant below.
(preempted note to let everyone know that I am fine, I am not posting this for people to feel bad for me. I am using my own experiences as examples, but this is not a 'me' issue this is a fandom issue)
Why is that so normalized here? The vague blogging and the call to arms people in this fandom do is actually disgusting. Picking one person and just beating them down until they eventually leave the fandom and at the SAME people will be like. "Why is the Hetalia fandom so small?" Who wants to be in a fandom where making one statement that's not even bad could get you death threats?
I don't think the fandom realizes how hurtful what they say can be. Sure you might not have liked a post someone made because you disagreed. Well then scroll down, hit the block button and carry on with your life. Why do some of you feel it is acceptable behavior to make mass posts calling out someone or going into their inbox to tell them you wish they would kill themselves?
I say I don't like Spamano and people say they want me dead. I say I don't want to talk about IRL politics on my parody Hetalia blog and my life and entire country is threatened.
I say we shouldn't insert our ships into everyone's lives and let people ship what they want and not feel forced to appease you. and you guessed it people wish terrible things onto me and my body.
I feel the only way this behavior will change is if we start calling it out more. I know it will feel repetitive but I think ignoring it is only making it worse at this point.
I know a lot of people would read this and think "If you don't like it then leave the fandom" well YOU'RE the issue. This is not normal behavior. These are not actions of someone who is mentality well. Why should I leave a fandom I've been in for 10 years because some idiot cannot handle that I don't like shipping characters together? How is that impacting their life at all?
a few months ago I made a post and it was highjacked and someone totally just took it over and added their own thing onto it talking about SA. Totally out of left field not related to what I posted at all. I simply messaged them and asked them if they could please remove the comment as I am a survivor of SA and it don't think it was funny or appropriate to add onto my post and they just said. "No I can say anything I want to. I was talking about Hetalia so it's fine." like what do you mean no!? Who responds that way? What a normal considerate person would do is say "I'm sorry of course! I can just go make my own post." but no they just left it there. It's still there, won't say which post or who it was because it doesn't matter anymore.
But this is the kind of behavior I'm talking about. This weird entitlement of everyone being so defensive and angry all the time. Just wanting to pick a fight over nothing. You never know if simply saying something like (Example) "I don't really like Austria" Could land you 100 anons all saying they wanted you to off yourself. It's like a game of Russian roulette. It's a very stressful environment for a big creator to be in. All it really takes is the wrong person to see a post you made and disagreed with and all of a sudden they are making posts about you without mentioning your name but are CLEARLY about you saying "This person hates all Austrians, they are a neo-nazi and we should all block them and send them hate and also let's just reword what they said to make it sound 100x worse because people won't read the original post and they will just believe us." Who would want to be a creator in an environment like that?
would you believe me if I told you I still to this day am getting someone in my inbox calling for my r*pe because of the stupid fucking beauty pageant poll I did? Is that not insanity? Who is that person? Wtf is their life? I personally could not imagine sending hate to anyone for any reason, and if I did it would be off of anon and I would say it with my chest. Because in order for someone to push it that far they would have to saying some absolutely terrible stuff to make me take time from my day and life to give them negative energy.
The fandom is shrinking because of the 1% driving them away. They come after artists who draw a character in a way they don't like. They come after writers for depicting a character in a way they disagree with. They go after shippers for portraying their ship 'wrong'. They will comment on people's fun little head canons and just leave the rudest most unnecessary comments thinks like "He wouldn't do that" like okay?? Thanks for your insert betty sue. And it's always when you were never trying to set someone off is when they lose their minds. They do not understand even if a blog is big and has a lot of followers it is still THAT creators blog. they are a person not an identity who just churns out content for just you and they have to say and do whatever you want.
Another thing the 1% like to do on here is they will wait for you to say something and then they will jump to attack a person who does the thing you said you dislike and they will tell that person "blog name XYZ said you are a horrible person and I agree kill yourself" That one is a near direct quote I got not too long ago. I got several like that and actually had to message said creator and say "Why are you mad at me?" and they were completely confused, had no idea how they decided to attack me because of what they said. When I tell you that the 1% are sitting there frothing at the mouth wanting to send hate and death threats I mean that 100%
It's not JUST me either. All creators in the Hetalia fandom I'm sure could tell you about upsetting hate they received and had no idea what they even did or said wrong. I have spoken to former Hetalia blogs ones who I used to call my pals before I went on my hiatus and came back. They all said they left not because they started hating Hetalia but they left for their mental health because the 1% got too bold and unchecked. This was never an issue before quarantine. I know it brought a lot of new fans and that's great! But I also feel along with bringing in some wonderful people it brought in some really dark minded people as well. Saying "Just disable anons and move on" is also not a solution. these people are still here and if they're not bothering me or you they are tormenting someone else because that's what these people do. That 'someone else' may only need the tiniest nudge at the edge and they may just actually hurt themselves. You don't know people. You don't know what everyone is going through. You don't know what someone's life is like outside of here.
PLEASE Please! stop telling people to kill themselves. Stop telling people to go get R**ed in a gutter. Get some help talk to a therapist, a friend, a trusted teacher, a life coach, your parents, your sibling. anyone! And if you don't have anyone in your life you can talk to you can message me and we can talk about what you're going through. I'm sure any other Hetalian on here would say the same thing. Bloggers are real people.
International suicide hotlines
Website to help you find a therapist in your own country and in your price range
I know I will more than likely get hate for posting this. Which is upsetting to just know is going to happen but someone needs to say this because it's getting kind of out of control these last couple months I feel.
if you read this through reblog it, spread it around let the people who NEED to see it see it.
#hetalia#this needs to be said#if you are offended here just know YOU are the problem#stop sending threats to people#stop attacking creators
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Ｇｅｎｅｒａｌ Ｙａｎｄｅｒｅ ＧＯＷ Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎｓ
Synopsis - Just some general Headcanons for one of my favorite game series and characters!!
Tags and Warnings - Harm Towards the Reader, that's all I got.
Authors Note - THIS IS SO CRINGE (please don't unfollow me I'm going through a phase (I'm working on BTS reqs rn I swear))
A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!
Kratos
Literally is known for killing, and will gladly do it again
Your like family to him and he's seen too many of those he considered family betray him and die
Pre Norse Kratos would be at his absolute worst peak. Any little thing would result in someone else dying.
Looked at you wrong? Cut in Half.
Someone told you something? Eyes Gouged out.
And the worst someone did to you the more serious Kratos would punish them, or really kill them.
His rage is met with something that calms him, makes him feel grounded, aka you.
But my god is he gentle with you, no matter what. He touches you almost like you'd break if he used anymore force.
Even with the little words he uses when talking to you, he truly loves and cares for you. All he wants is for that love to be recognized and given back to him.
But one thing for sure, Kratos kidnaps you. Just to keep you in his sights and a place he knows and can see you whenever
Post Norse Kratos is much more pleasant to be around. He's more stern, more calm, much more approachable, even if needing a much more deeper urge too.
Plus if your good with Atreus, that only makes things better. He sees that maternal aspect in you instantly
However no matter what he keeps is past closer off to you because he doesn't want you to think any different of him.
(HE LOVES BIG WOMEN GUYS I SAID IT. HE GOT TOO. (all his dead wives are skinny (let me be delusional)))
You yelled out running into the middle of of snow. It was freezing cold but you couldn't stop anytime soon. Or else you'd be trapped back in that house, never to see the light of day.
You heard him.
Heavy, labored breaths behind you.
You ducked down behind a rock, trying to slow your breathing. This was hopeless, but you had to Atleast try. Maybe Freya would help you or something, she does a have a thing against your captor.
“Do you wish to die out here.”
A hand went to your mouth, refusing to give in to the fear that overtook you.
“You cannot survive the cold. Come back. Do you not want to be home? With us?”
His footsteps grew louder, he knew what he was. He was intimidating, scary, deep down a killer.
And did he know how to use those aspects to his advantage.
A hand grabbed at your ankle and you were pulled up by your foot. You made direct eye contact with the wall of muscle that you'd grown to fear. His breathing was labored but he took a deep breath in, and sling you over onto his shoulder.
“We are to talk about this later. Understand?”
All you could do was sob silently and nod your head.
Freya
Man when I tell you shes reminded of what love feels like, she is reminded hard.
She's already broken, having almost everything taken away from her by Odin. But you mend those tears in her soul, binding them shut with your mere existence.
Freya would've instantly been drawn to you, seeing as all you wish to do is care for the people around you, being free from Odin's eye, as your inconsequential to him
She would grow to envy your freedom, as you traveled the realms as freely as you wished. Your absence would plague her, growing to be that without you she feels empty.
And it gets worse after Bauldur dies.
Once he's gone you flee quickly seeing what she's turned into. Fueled by rage and regret, she would have these outbursts of just heavy emotion. And so you left, avoiding Midgard at all costs.
It wouldn't be long until she finds you, being free from her curse. Freya would tackle you to the ground and capture you, vowing go nrver let you out of her sights again.
And she doesn't, she wants you to either be locked up and with her. And majoirty of the time it's with her. She wants a new spouse, someone to actually call her love and mean it.
“There you are!”
You were tackled to the ground, bound by vines that were never apart of the vegetation of the realm you called home.
The sight of a angered Freya came into view as your eyes opened. Her breathing was labored as she moved her hands, the vines still keeping you stuck. Her hands came to your cheek and you winced at her cold touch. A paled man stood over in the distance watching silently.
“Your just as beautiful as the day you left…” She mumbled to herself bringing your attention back to her. Freya's hands pressed against your cheeks as she leaned in, kissing your forehead passionately. The action almost mimicked a mother, trying to clam her new born baby.
But this wasn't the situation for that.
“Freya please we can tal-”
“So you know how much you hurt me?! You left me alone. Alone with my thoughts, I spiraled without you.” She yelled at you. This is one of the reasons you left in the first place, her mood can switch so easily. “But that's in the past, and all I care for is the future. One where you and me spend eternity together.”
Atreus (But in a platonic crushing way cause ya know he a minor)
He's crazy, literally whipped for you. He's considers you to be his best friend, and does a bunch of harmless flirting.
Of course he thinks your pretty, one of the prettiest people he's ever encountered and has he seen some things. But he knows that staying friends keeps him happier, and less stressed
Being a mortal really didn't help your case, if anything it made Atreus more protective of you and your safety.
Any situation he deemed to dangerous and unsafe for you, he'd make you stay behind (he takes after his father a lot.)
You often are the subject to which he vents too, it's rather unintentional, everything that's happened and is currently happening to him is just so stressful. And god knows he couldn't vent to his father or Sindri.
He has this thing for showing you the world through his eyes. Like he'll tell you what animals are saying and how they're just like him and you. The beauty of nature is something he just has to show you
One thing that's worrisome is how impulsive he is. He's so quick to stand his guard and protect you when it comes to you and your safety. Key example is Heimdall, in which he never liked. Atreus hates how the blonde talks to you, in fact he would immediately pull out the wolf when Heimdall even mentions you.
Off note, Atreus will bring you to Asgard with him. No matter what you say he'll want you to be there with him. His excuse is that you'd make a great duo, but in reality he doesn't want to be alone.
“What is wrong with you!? Your trying or at least considering to go to Asgard?!” You yelled once inside of Freya's abandoned house.
“Its the next best lead I have. But I need you to go with me, I can't do it alone.” Atreus said as if it was the most simple thing ever. You furrowed your brows at the half god.
“Let me break it down for you. I'm a mortal. A mortal in a realm built for gods? Yeah your fucking crazy. Oh let me add this. I'm a child, your a child, WE'RE CHILDREN!"
“I'd say young adults, shit maybe teenagers. But the thing is we have to, we have to save my dad.” Atreus tried to reason with you.
“Since when is it a WE thing? Atreus this is your prophecy not mine. Hell not even Atreus, this is Loki's prophecy."
“Wait don't go I need you!”
“Goodbye Loki.”
“No!” He yelled before shooting a arrow at your arm, cut forming at your forearm. You hissed out and grabbed at the wound, the cold hitting your blood. “Your not going anywhere hurt like that. Step out there and the cold will infect the wound. If you come with me, Odin can heal you.”
“I'm-”
“Make a choice.”
“Fine. I'll go….”
#dark writing#tw dark content#tw yandere#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere blog#gow ragnorak#GOW#god of war#yandere kratos#yandere freya#yandere atreus#god of war ragnorak#yandere gow#yandere god of war#yandere headcanons
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I'm a highly sensitive person. I have some college but no degree. I have insurance but am scared of doctors. I have free therapy though my job but no specialists to see if I have ADHD or autism. I work customer service and have been doing that for over 20 years. When I serve people all day long I don't have much left for myself. I have pmdd and had a bad episode this month that gave me so much rage and now I'm ashamed and crying and feeling overwhelmed. They are going to change the operating systems that are job so none of us will know what we are doing.
I work customer service at a library and there's a machine with a conveyor belt that runs all day that helps to check in people's books. By the end of the day most of the full-time people are extremely disgruntled just due to the ongoing sound. We aren't allowed to wear headphones because we have to answer the phones and talk to the customers.
My boss put two more jobs for me to do while I'm not on a public desk. We get 2 hours off desk and honestly those are helpful to recharge after working with the public but my boss thinks those two off desk hours should be used to do desk work and busy work.
I'm extremely overwhelmed and afraid to advocate for myself for fear I'll look defiant. Ill be there 12 years in April. I feel like I haven't been able to have a personal life since going full time. 🙁
I took two days off from work last week and didn't work the weekend I was hoping I'd be ready to go back today. So I got dressed and drove to work and thought I hit a bird and then had a complete meltdown and then look like s*** and realized I had to be on front desk to let all the customers in. So they saw my face which made me more upset and so I told my boss I couldn't do it today and I went home. I tried to go to the park but I couldn't get out of the car and I looked a mess because I had been crying a lot.
I texted my boss and apologized and told her I was overwhelmed and told her I was sorry for leaving in a hurry. She told me to just take care of myself.
I don't want to take care of myself, I'm already worn out from taking care of everybody else.
I'm sorry this is the most rambling message ever. I don't know what to do.
hey @luckycatsgirl (couldn't tag you for some reason)
i'm sorry you're going through this but please do not apologize for ranting. i want this to be a safe space for people to ramble. you helped me feel needed so thank you for that.
what you've described sounds to me like a panic attack. now, i could be wrong since i'm not a professional but i have experience with panic attacks and would very much encourage you to look into a psychologist or a trained therapist to help you out.
we all know life is tough but we bear it to the point where any and everything becomes overwhelming. it's normal and you're not alone in feeling this way. but getting help will make sure that you live more comfortably.
i know you don't want to take care of yourself because you're worn out but being worn out itself means that you need to be cared for. a therapist or psychologist can help you understand how to do that.
please look into it, dear friend. i will be cheering for you from the other side of the screen. sending you courage and positive vibes 💜✨
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no ok i'm gonna.
mentions of rape and trauma, including symptoms of reliving that trauma.
"many modes of fiction and storytelling aren't expected to trigger tag."
just because it's normalized doesn't mean it's the best or even a good practice.
"printed books don't include content warnings."
no, but what printed books usually have over fanfiction is resources like "does the dog die", which i personally think isn't good enough and that it would benefit (reasonable) readers AND writers if content warnings were encouraged and more normalized (readers so they aren't unexpectedly exposed to harm (except by assholes), and writers so they aren't condemned for heavy topics (except by assholes)).
fanfiction, except maybe the huge juggernaut fics, don't have the popularity to be recorded in the same fashion. (neither do lots of lesser known books, but i think this isn't a good thing for anyone and actually makes the need to normalize trigger warnings in the actual creation MORE important, not less.)
"the content warning 'chose not to tag' means there may be triggering content. it is not the same as 'no tags apply'."
yes, that's all true and fine. for fellow people with bad trigger responses: take note of this. 'chose not to tag' means there could still be triggering content, not that there isn't or won't be triggering content. this is a good thing to know for your safety.
and the biggest issue i have with that post: "readers are responsible for protecting themselves from triggering content."
yes! of course they are. but how are they supposed to do that without trigger tags? like, this is a genuine, non-gotcha question. i want to understand what these writers think triggers are and/or what they actually expect from readers.
and like, as a general "get this out of the way": i do believe there are people who are outraged for the wrong reasons and using this (and endless other controversies) as an excuse to 'justifiably' get mad, and those people are wrong, need to step away, and are hurting the issues they claim to care about. i ALSO believe it is disingenuous to ignore an issue or complaint out of hand just because it was delivered angrily, and that it's unfair to tone police someone who's been hurt. do i wish we could all express our issues calmly and politely? yes. do i think that's realistic or even right? not really. do i think it's important to listen to the heart of the issue as best as we can anyway? very much.
the problem i have with sentiments like "protecting your mental health is your own responsibility" is WHEN they're coupled with sentiments like "it's NOT my responsibility to provide you with the tools TO protect your mental health". the idea of "just close the tab" or "just hit the back button" falsely attributes the experience of being re-exposed to trauma ("triggered") as simply upsetting or unpleasant but not debilitating. this is not what happens.
traumatic triggers are sometimes straight forward: "rape depicted in fiction triggers trauma responses." a lot of times they're less straight forward. "mentions or implications of off-screen rape trigger trauma responses." and sometimes they're completely impossible for an outsider to predict. "omelettes trigger trauma responses (about rape)."
the last example is a real one, paraphrased from an article written by a woman who was raped. she describes (again, paraphrased) that "the morning after, she couldn't/didn't want to believe it happened, so she went through motions of normalcy by making her rapist omelettes for breakfast". it isn't that eggs are traumatic in and of themselves, but that eggs trigger(!) memories and traumatic responses about the rape. it is a trigger by association.
obviously, and as i recall she says this herself in her article, there is no world in which "eggs" is a trigger tag 99% of the population uses. it is a very obscure trigger that requires context to even fully understand how it's a trigger in the first place.
this, i think, is what all survivors of trauma and/or mental illness with obscure (and even non-obscure) need to accept: we WILL be triggered throughout our lives. we cannot remove these things from existence, and it is for our own best interest to develop safe and healthy coping mechanisms to help us through trigger episodes, as well as remove ourselves from the situation as quickly as possible.
i suspect this is what these writers are trying to say too—and it's GOOD advice. it is.
however... i find it, to be perfectly frank, callous and dismissive to suggest that writers—or any kind of creators—are irrelevant in this issue when they write knowable triggering content (NOT eggs, but things like rape) and do not take incredibly simple, easy, 2-to-5 second measures to warn for that content. i fear they do not understand (or do not respect) what being triggered—really, actually triggered DOES to a person.
the symptoms of trauma triggers are vast, and no two people experience them the same way, but some common and/or significant symptoms include: flashbacks, delusions, fight or flight response, vomiting, fainting, and suicidal ideations. the effects of these symptoms can result in extreme distress, exhaustion, mental illness, physical inability to go to work/school, damaged relationships, serious injury and death.
triggers are not "upsetting". they are debilitating and even life-threatening. and in my experience, they get demonstrably worse when the person experiences them AFTER establishing trust or interest in the triggering thing; as in, after they're 3, 5, 10 chapters into a fanfic, when a trigger warning before chapter one could have hurt them incredibly less, if at all. this has happened to me.
no, it is not a writer's fault that someone is traumatized or mentally ill, and no, i wouldn't hold a writer accountable (socially or legally) if someone died after having a traumatic response to content in their fic.
but i think it is so... weird? that some writers who KNOW this about trauma and mental illness are not immediately compelled to add a few words to their tags to prevent this from happening to someone. sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, it reminds me of healthy people who weren't masking for covid, despite the fact that if they were infected and asymptomatic, they could expose the elderly or immunocompromised to infection, which could KILL that person. yeah, you didn't hurt them, their trauma did—and yeah, you didn't kill them, their infection did—but how can you ACTUALLY feel perfectly comfortable not doing the bare minimum to protect another human being? how does it not eat you up inside that people might be dead as a ripple effect of an incredibly easy task you chose not to do?
i sincerely am trying to understand it, but i don't think i can. as a person who has been traumatized in multiple ways, both well-known ways and obscure ways, i cannot IMAGINE knowing there's a way to prevent someone else from experiencing the horrors (and dangers) of reliving it and just Not Doing It. especially when it's SO easy.
i see a lot of concerns about "spoiling the story" via trigger tags, and i can't help but think... that's not really how it works? i don't think "there's a rape in this story" is a spoiler, i think it's a content warning. i think if you're prioritizing spoilers over someone's mental and physical safety, that's weird as hell.
BUT, if it's really that big of an issue for you or your story, i have an alternative, equally simple suggestion: link to a google doc that lists all trigger warnings (that you know to apply; again, i'm not asking you to know one person in the world has an "eggs" trigger, and no other reasonable person is either), and tell people "this link contains trigger warnings that may include spoilers".
i think it's, frankly, a little entitled to say you won't trigger tag your fanfic because of spoilers. i think people should have the ability to make informed decisions, in advance, about reading your story. i think they should be allowed to spoil your story for themselves for literally any reason, ESPECIALLY to protect themselves from triggering content. this IS what people do for mainstream media, this IS what "does the dog die" does. this IS an established long-standing norm in public fiction.
as i said, i fully believe there are outraged idiots out there who don't actually care about the issue and just want to get their brownie points for being mad and aggressive. i do not think it's fair or reasonable to dismiss the issue entirely because idiots are co-opting it. there are idiots on every side of every issue ever. they do not lessen the merit of an issue just because they're loud and awful; they are living straw men. we cannot stop them, including by forsaking the issue they're co-opting.
and what really bothers me about that mindset is that there are people—genuinely harmed people—who may not express the issue politely or calmly, but their experience is still important and they're still saying important things. we HAVE to accept that people, right AND wrong, are going to tell us their side of things angrily sometimes, and we have to be willing to listen to what they're saying. you close yourself off to a TON of growth and opportunity for compassion if you refuse to acknowledge or respect other people's pain because they 'expressed it wrong'.
and you're right, no one can force you to do it. i just don't understand how you possibly justify not WANTING to do it without being, at best, ignorant, and at work, just... really selfish.
#HOUGH. ough. ok it's out of my system.#this isn't a threat or anything btw but i do unfollow anyone who thinks like this.#because. y'know. i understand that by thinking like this it means none of your posts (creative or otherwise) are provably safe for me.#like i'm saying this so you don't think it's for another reason. not as a “i will NEVER shop here again” gotcha.#yoshi talks
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Okay, so I've had a bit of time to think on it (not that it bothered me that much, but I did want to try and clarify some things), and a sort of 'follow up' to this post in particular.
A little rambly, so under the cut.
Note that this isn't to talk about that specific anon or the specific issue involved in it, it's just a jumping off point, more or less.
I think people do need a bit of a reminder about 'parasociality' and the boundaries that tend to get ignored/eroded because of it.
To get right to the meat of the issue:
I'm ace. I have a complicated relationship with sex and sexual content. I feel bad when I have to bring up these parts of my identity when explaining these things, but I provide them to sort of give you a better perspective as to why some stuff may not be good to say to me. Why I take them a bit personally.
The long and short of it is, I'm really only comfortable with jokes and the like when either I am the one to publicly initiate, or it's happening between my own friends, in a comfortable environment.
It's why I tend to not let some stuff I tag with 'suggestive' to be reblogged, because that's just not what I want to be spread around and get people making the wrong assumptions about me.
Obviously there's nuance and yadda yadda sometimes exceptions, etc. But this is where I stand, and will not budge, because of a history of people continuously being entitled to the point they think they can disregard my requests to respect this.
So, tying this into the whole 'parasocial' aspect.
Yeah, I'm very casual and chatty, I like to be friendly to you all and I enjoy seeing your commentary and stuff, even if I don't always respond--Honestly wish there was a way to 'like' replies like on twitter, cause I usually use it as an indicator of 'I've seen this and it made me smile :>'
But. And this a big but. That is not an open invitation for you to jump straight to telling me things like "I put your OC in a smash or pass discord channel" or things of a similar nature. That's a bit too much of a boundary break.
Like, removing the context, how weird does it sound for you to tell somebody (who doesn't know who you are) that you put their character in a channel where people rate their desire to 'smash' or 'pass'? It definitely sounds weird to me, and I sure as hell wouldn't say it to somebody I barely even know.
I'm a bit skittish to begin with, so it's definitely not easy for me to loosen up and be comfortable interacting with new people, but stuff like this makes me withdraw back into my shell, so to speak.
I don't mind starting up convos, and if it seems like I'm actively engaging in the dialogue, then you have nothing to worry about, but this also isn't an invitation for Every Single Person to hit me up.
On the internet where those boundaries aren't as visibly noticeable--I can't give you body language to show my mood, for instance--It's very easy to not see that stuff, but I really think people need to take a few moments to consider if they're assuming too much about their relationship with somebody before saying something.
I've heard horror stories about even worse shit happening in the fandom, and it makes me glad y'all are so respectful as it is, which is why I'm not getting boiling mad or anything over this stuff, cause I'm sure you'll listen and understand.
And as far as that specific scenario linked goes: I don't care what y'all discuss about my OCs or my stuff between friends/in private spaces and all that. Out of sight, out of mind. You don't need to tell me, and I'm not gonna Thought Crime you.
The issue I'm taking is with the assumption of things, to the point I do need to go on these several-paragraph rambles, when stuff like that I feel should be basic etiquette.
I love y'all and I am happy people enjoy my things, but please let me stress that as far as interaction with y'all goes, I'm really not that much different from a streamer or something. I'm just a person doing a thing, and people like that thing.
Sorry this got a little long-winded, but I hope I at least made my point, and I'll stress again I'm not mad or anything. It's just been on my mind, so I might as well talk about it.
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opinions on the Geats cast now and what are your hopes for the endgame.
I just think they are neat
I love trickster characters who occasionally even fool themselves with their own trickeries. Lies upon lies upon lies. Ace was lying to his fellow constentants, the DGP, his real family too probably, and to himself. He'd try to keep the others at arms' length and act flippant, but still fundamentally a good person. And he really is losing it - both with having let them get too close to him, and just everything unraveling around him. I love him so much. And he's still ready to do anything because all these lives of his, he went through so many things just to find her mother - and he'd do anything to get her back. Anything to free her.
Keiwa is... I understand a kids' show needs comic relief, but I'm just tired of it always being Keiwa, and always after he just seemed to hit some kind of treshold in his character development. But god, I love him. He's just a Good Boy. I love a Good Boy. I want him to break down and snap and and go on a rampage before calming down. He earned it. Pop off babyboy.
Neon is just such a good one, and probably my favourite female rider I had seen so far. The escapism, the depression, the identity issues inherent from finding out you were created for one reason, one reason you don't seem to fulfill anymore. Wanting to disappear. I love her so much and I wish I could hug her.
Michinaga. SIGH. My love for Michinaga is pretty well-documented at this point. I love vengeance-driven assholes. He will set himself on fire to make the world burn, and I love him so much for it. He's destructive and angry, and probably also lies to himself that he doesn't care about anyone else, there are no Kamen Riders, and even there are some vaguely Better(tm) ones, he is too far gone at this point. And still, he wasn't murdering them when he did his culling. I love him.
I love Tsumuri so much and I am so happy she is getting more focus and development now. I love her and I need her to be on my screen More.
Win is my babygirl and I love him dearly. He's just so fucking fun. I missed him so badly.
I miss Sae, and I wish she would have stuck around longer. She was neat.
I am one of the four people who enjoy Daichi's nonsense, lmao. He's so pathetic and horrible! He thinks he is in Death Note! He is so horrible! I love him dearly. It was also funny when he went through Lamentation with basically only chewing on popcorn to watch the drama and did nothing else. I wish he would have done more horrible things - well there is still time.
Sara is sweet. I don't have anything else to say about her. I hope she gets a Buckle, even if not on the show, then in a vcine or something.
Girori was a fun initial villain. Chirami was funny as fuck. Suel is amazing if he really is gonna be the final boss and I hope he NEVER stops being anything else but a floating outfit.
I love the disaster sponsor gang. I love Ziin and his mess. He's a total mess, but I love how he became steadfast, and didn't even turn his back on Ace even though Ace wants to destroy his beloved DGP. I love his character development. He is a disaster blue fox and I love him.
I love Kyuun. I love how he's a socially awkward mess, who always puts his foot into his mouth most the time, and struggling to be genuine. I miss him. Dumb lion boy.
I don't know why people are shocked about Kekera, lol. He looks like a yakuza, dresses like a yakuza, talks like a yakuza, why are people shocked when he started to act like a yakuza too? Of course he will do messy shit to put his blorbo into sitations! And I love him.
Once again I am one of the five people who actually love Beroba, and the vicious violent hatred against her in the tags is highkey making me uncomfortable. My horrible daughter who did everything wrong, and I hope she never gets redeemed. She's just such a delightful and fun villain. I love her so much. One day I will write a character study about her, I swear to god.
Niram sexy. I thought he might have more to do but I really love him, I love the air he gives off, I loved the few times he transformed and his fighting style. That's it. Bit bummed it seems like he won't be the final boss, but Suel will do fine. Niram can just stand there and look sexy.
Samas seems like a girlboss, but I don't know enough about her to really care.
Endgame...
The DGP has to burn. Mitsume will probably die, and the most Ace will get out of her was either a final powerup, or a hug, or both, and not much else. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd die before the end of the show either, with Suel forcing Tsumuri into her role.
(Can you imagine? Suel laughing about "want me too free your mother? sure!" and Mitsume's statue is falling apart, while Tsumuri is screaming and taking her place? It'd be so cruel and I could totally imagine it.)
I want all of them to have one more powerup. I want Keiwa to snap, go on a bit of a rampage, before circling back. I want Neon, Ace and Michinaga all realize they are... not alone anymore. They can lean on each other now.
I want them to henshin side by side, the four of them, for the final battle - just like the Doctor Riders went to face off Chronus at the end of Ex-Aid. Just like the four riders walked up to Evolt before the final fights of Build. I want them to be an united front for the first time, all of them reaching the conclusion that the DGP has to go. (Keiwa and Neon has a bit more development to go through before that, of course. But in the end.)
I wish we would see the four of them remember.
I want the four of them to remember, and being together in the end (well. you know. obviously not Together Together on my screen, but like, in each others' orbit).
I don't find it unlikely that they'd maybe. Forget. Because the story would end with a hard reset, erasing the DGP. I'm not sure if Ace would or not - I wouldn't be surprised if the show would be mean and let Ace be the only one who remembers. WHICH WOULD BE EVEN WORSE THAN BUILD. AT LEAST SENTO HAD BANJOU. AAAARGH.
I know vcines and other movies would fix it, but I AM STILL TERRIFIED OF IT. I would need to write so much about it.
Anyway I want them to fight together, the DGP to fuck back off into the future (Beroba maybe dragged back, to maybe, you know, be a vcine or special villain later on), and then possibly either being in each others' orbit in the end, or at least looking for each other.
I think it'd be funny if all of them would forget (Ace actually being granted the mercy of forgetting would be nice), and yet STILL would end up around each other. Drawn together. But that's definitely just wistful thinking from me.
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To the beautiful anon that went off about overused fanfic troupes that they hate, Thank you! I agree. Little (Long) rant coming up so you can skip. Don't worry, Moss, this isn't about your writing. I adore your writing.
I hate overly weak MCs, like I get that some characters are strong. Understandable, the MC isn't always gonna be the strongest person in the room but to have said character bully the shit outta MC and MC not doing anything about it is just kinda unnecessary.
Not to mention, all the smut that has so much bullying and clearly abusive behavior in it. It has to be a kink thing with no context for the reader. If it is between two consent adults and you give proper aftercare, I don't give a fuck but 9/10 the fic shows none of that. Name calling, hitting, zero aftercare, cheating, and so much fucking noncon. If someone did that to me, I'd throat punch them, I'm not gonna lie. And the MC just takes it and finds it hot or nice!? If your lover does not give you aftercare after calling you a slut and hitting you, that's not good, babes. Run, literally run.
Nothing wrong with BDSM and roleplay but if you do it wrong, and it's almost always depicted wrong from my understanding, that's harmful. I've been reading fanfic for a while now and I cannot tell you how much of this shit I've seen. Abusive smut, abusive relationships, and overall just poorly written submissive and dom stuff. Half of me wants to believe that it's a kink and the other half fully believes that these people think that the shit they write is a 'healthy relationship '.
It's so rare to find Fics that depic aftercare or soft smut or oh I don't know actually caring Doms! A lot of the smut is so aggressive and bordering on 'Are you okay, Author?'. Not to mention, no safeword or check in system is ever mentioned in these fics. With the increase of shit movies like Fifty shades of grey, 360 days, and After? (The shitty Harry Styles fanfic Movie thing) it is frankly concerning with the level of abusive fics that are labeled as 'sweet' or 'sexy'. Those movies are so bad and they claim to show good sexy relationships or a normal relationship. Like bitch no! He kidnapped you and the other one insults you constantly and only has sex with you!
To sum this whole rant up, If your lover is being a dick, leave them. Also writers please don't label abuse as romance please. It's not sexy. It's scary and disgusting. I might be more sensitive to it since my father was extremely abusive to my mother but I really need to drive this point home. I know a lot of people read fanfic and they learn relationships from fanfiction and it can teach them that abuse is okay when it's not.
I'm sorry for the rant, Buddy. I needed to get that out of my system.
Agree. I can understand of its just an act, however if that's the case show us the aftercare when they're outta character please.
Or tag it as a dark fic!! It's fiction where we can indulge in fucked up shot yknow but don't subject others to it if they don't want it
#im sorry did i hurt u???#not writing#not requests#now im thinking of Trey pretending to be a hard dom and then being like#notforortho#lemon#rant#rant tw#oh it tagged outta order :(
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I was reading Bell Hooks' Talking Back and reached the part "about self recovery" and there she speaks about having to speak using the language of the oppressor and on the first moment I'm reading it as a poor black woman in university, surrounded by middle class and rich white men but then it hits me "Right, that's not the only thing queer about me in this situation".
And reading it I understand how the value is attributed according to hegemonic culture, forcing the oppressed to share their experience under some kind of translator so that we can transmit it in a way that fits the standards of the oppressor, we force ourselves to feel in a way that they can understand, to act on our feelings in a way that is acceptable for them and it's about being a black woman yes but is no different for me as the experience of being aspec.
Actually, while reading it I could only think about this part of me. I feel safer around poc and around woman and around people who are not going to look down on me for the price tag of my clothes and my cellphone brand and because of where I live I'm usually in safer spaces, I have spaces where I can feel my anger and pain unapologetically. But amongst many things there's this one that I don't, this one I have to speak about as if it's a minor inconvenience, no matter where I am I can not run from the agony and I can't express it, there's no place where I can feel safe, where I can forget for one single second that I'm different. I won't ever belong.
I am aromantic.
See? It's underwhelming. Because we never talk about how it feels to be Aro using the big words, for the good and for the bad. When we try to explain what we are, who we are, we always need to lessen our feelings — unconsciously from what I've seen online — so that others will listen.
Because I'm not allowed to feel intensely about my own identity much less my own oppression, they don't understand, because they think it doesn't matter. There are dozens of posts just in this blog, I bet from all around the world, about institutional, political, nationwide laws and societal organizations that establishes something that hurts aro, aces and non-partnering people, and since I can't speak strongly against the big shit imagine if I do so about the "lesser" problems (in quotations because when it comes to caring for Aros everything is a lesser problem).
I am not even allowed to say they are making privileges for partnering (specifically abled) peopel on taxes because they won't see it as a privilege, it's a "little help", sometimes it's even a "reward". I'm (not really) sorry but a reward is only a reward when everyone has the chance of achieving it, if the opportunity is not the same then it is a privilege for those who can try to achieve and a reminder to the rest — to us! — that we are in the wrong and living the way we do is not how it is supposed to be.
You know the worst part? Is not explicit. It's something people don't even realize. Like I said, we've read many confessions here, living costs, hospitals, job seeking, health treatments, everything is so incredibly amisiac not in an "I hate you" way, or "you are not allowed to this" way, in a "I don't recognize your existence, not because I want to exclude you, but because the possibility that something like this exist doesn't cross my mind and even when it does I just dismiss it because that's not how real people are in real life" way.
It's that point where you feel the neurodivergent, the disabled and the non-partnering experience slightly converging, when you see the world being built around you and you can't fit. They are not even making an effort to keep you out, this is not like a bar with a little sign that says you are not allowed in, is more like a tavern from a magical world with a natural barrier against you. You can't force yourself in, you can't ask them to change, you need to convince people to leave it.
And by it I mean our cultures, our societies, because adding our flags to pride and making teachers learn sign language is great, but June is here and no one else talks about us and when we talk about ourselves no one else hears and all our classmates can't even sign a hello so it's no different than learning alone.
And I can't be angry about it! Not strongly at least, I can't be intense, I can't be scary, I can't be loud about it, because if I do I'm turning it into a big deal and it shouldn't even though it is very much a big deal despite it not affecting you specifically. So I gotta lower myself, I can't be direct, I can't say that your viral speech about love is harmful to loveless people just because it was said with good intentions, because they are advocating for a good cause, because "the world is lacking in love and that's why it is this way" is trying to push for the good and I'm in the way of it.
What the world needs is more respect, that is the opposite of hate. Your "love"? It is harming me. Actively. I'm being painted as a villain and I'm not even allowed to be mad about it. I can't say a single fuck, literally, if I use the word fuck I am in the wrong.
Somehow I am as much part of the problem as the ones spreading hate. So if I, the Aspec, speak out of line, if the Aspec doesn't take lots of care with each word used, the tone, the expressions, the gestuees, then you have every right to step on me and, I know this from years of experience, no one will stop you.
[The Bell Hooks anon here again, got a bit anxious about someone misunderstanding me so I just wanted to say that what I was talking relates to the self-recovery explained in the book, which is a way to find or create the language needed to talk back and speak up, and what I meant was we cannot find this self-recovery as a community if we don't find ourselves (being aspec, the individuals and not being aspec the victims, the invisible beings), and since there's no self prior to amatonormativity and amisia (no matter how nice your family is and how protected you've grown, like I said, the aphobia is not explicit so people don't even know they are being aphobic), to find a full self we need to talk about what is like to be us, we need to create a collective, we are so very different but we are still one single community, and that includes talking about what hurts us, and we need to be truthful about it so we can find what it is that pain us as a whole, what it is that can be changed and find means to create change, actual tangible change that can function intersectionally but also independently. It won't work if we are not allowed (by others or by our own conscious) to talk about it in the way we feel it. Adding to that the issue of breaking from the oppressor she talks about, you can't be afraid of educating and even calling out someone for something aphobic even if minor, the prejudice can only be solved when the person doing it changes, we've been silenced before, we lost any sense of unity and it's great we have a space like this to ease our minds and vent like I'm doing right now but we need to know what is it we want to say then make ourselves heard. And no one hears when you whisper in the middle of a hurricane.]
#bell hooks#poc#woc#woman of color#women of color#person of color#people of color#aro#aromantic#aspec#arospec#amatonormativity#aphobia#intersectionality
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I posted 5,246 times in 2022
58 posts created (1%)
5,188 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@bumblerhizal
@cinary
@mens-rights-activia
@bespectacledbookworm
@red-white-and-bolshevik
I tagged 1,801 of my posts in 2022
#lol - 930 posts
#art - 131 posts
#story ideas - 124 posts
#tumblr - 105 posts
#want - 54 posts
#worldiary speaks - 46 posts
#everything everywhere all at once - 37 posts
#dracula daily - 34 posts
#goncharov - 34 posts
#poetry - 31 posts
Longest Tag: 126 characters
#with google you can bring whatever you want into the sandbox but every time you touch a grain of sand google gets paid somehow
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I know, I know "it's such old media how can there be spoilers" but we all know that about 0.3% of us have actually read Dracula before and 99.9% of Dracula media we have seen bears 0 resemblance to the story we're reading now. With that in mind, please consider tagging your Dracula Daily posts and/or writing at the top of the post what day's entry you're talking about so folks can skip potential spoilers as needed.
41 notes - Posted May 16, 2022
#4
It's interesting to read people complaining about the community label feature when my understanding is (and correct me if I'm wrong here):
1. Your post will only get hidden if you mark it as sensitive. If you're worried about people not changing their settings, that's fair. You can make an FYI post and wait until you're confident before marking your work with a community flag. But it's not like the Nipple Ban™️ where an AI is rampantly tagging onions as sensitive. It's only if you mark your own post as sensitive.
2. This is what allows Tumblr to unblock porn. Which is something folks have been asking for ever since the aforementioned Nipple Ban™️. The idea is that if porn is hidden by default but folks can opt-in, Apple won't pull them off the App Store.
Maybe I'm missing something, but this feels like a win for folks making adult content? I know people on Tumblr engage less with creators these days. So it's fair to be worried that your reach will shrink. Make a few FYI posts to your followers. Don't mark your stuff as sensitive until you're ready. And then once you feel confident, try the feature out? See what you think. Give staff feedback.
51 notes - Posted September 26, 2022
#3
The thing about Everything Everywhere All At Once is that it could have been terrible. Like there were so many elements there that 99% of the time would not have worked together. But in this case it did???? Equal parts horror, comedy, family, philosophy, and fashion.
69 notes - Posted August 9, 2022
#2
Spent 2 hours watching this movie going "huh, this is a lot like Hamlet. Funny, even the guy's name sounds like Hamlet." Turns out. I'm watching the Norse myth of Amleth. Ya know. The Norse myth HAMLET WAS BASED OFF OF. No one's talking about this? We talk about Hamlet all the damn time and no one thought to say "btw, he ripped off a Norse myth. Just moved the H around and killed Ophelia." She doesn't die in the original myth, folks. It's just Shakespeare out here fridging and moving Hs around.
90 notes - Posted October 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I think the thing that hit me the hardest about Everything Everywhere All At Once was that.... Evelyn in part brings Jobu Tapaki into existence through her abuse and Jobu, in response to her pain... destroys worlds and lives searching for a version of her mother that can help her navigate the pain.
The nuance of the situation was so beautiful to me. It's the... "You hurt me but I still want you to comfort me and I don't care how much I hurt you as I dig for that comfort."
130 notes - Posted August 10, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#congrats to my number one post of the year being one in which I accidentally said ELEANOR instead of Evelyn and nearly died of shame#but clearly we were all so shook by the movie that y'all didn't notice and kept reblogging#except for that one person tysm for point it out!!#worldiary speaks#worldiary whispers
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7, 17, 18, and 33 for the ask meme pretty please? 🍊 🍊 🍊
7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
Definitely, without a doubt, Smoke, my Equalist Asami Irosami fic. It's a massive undertaking that I poured a lot into, and we're so close to the end. I've just got to be in the right headspace to do it, and to have the time and attention to do it properly. Which I haven't had for like six months. But I'm getting excited about it again and hope to get back here soon. Honorable mention to Firestorm, the third fic in my Irosamiverse canon divergence series that I half started and then actually pulled down to re-work. I still think it's got a cool premise, but need to invest in some plotting and make a few hard choices and kill some darlings to keep the narrative tight, which is what was wrong with the first version. George R. R. Martin I am not, and my original vision of writing from a lot of different characters' perspectives and locations wasn't working. But I'll get there.
17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?
Strictly speaking, probably The Mango Tree. Not because I don't adore this fic. I do. It's sweet and sad and lovely and everyone should read it. But it's also Maiko, and therefore has more kudos and bookmarks than all but my major Irosami multichapter projects that are closer to novels, like AWOL and Smoke. I wrote The Mango Tree in a day or two. Smoke is going on two years. It's a great illustration of the challenges rarepair authors face. If you liked The Mango Tree, maybe you should give some other works a try? You might be surprised.
18. What’s your most underrated fic?
All of them. I guess I was surprised at the reception of Yaoja's Number One Fan. Or maybe just disappointed. There's pretty much universal recognition that for a main character Asami Sato is very underdeveloped in canon. To some that makes her boring, but to me that means she has so much potential! And people clearly want to read about her as she appears in just under half the fics in the Legend of Korra tag. But almost all those fics are Korrasami (like really, nearly all of them), and fics about Asami outside that pairing are rare and low traffic. I'd have hoped there were enough Asami fans in Korrasamiworld who'd be interested in a short, sweet fic about her as a kid that for once didn't center around her mother's death or any ship, but I was wrong. No one seems to love or care for Asami by herself. Low kudos might be the author, but this fic has less than 50 hits. No one is interested. Goes to hug Asami in a corner by myself making self-indulgent pity noises.
33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?
Okay, there are two ways to answer this:
1. OMFG Iroh. This guy is so much in his head, I'll realize I've written two pages and he hasn't moved. He's still standing there doing dishes, thinking. Any one-shot from Iroh's perspective immediately becomes a multichapter slog. In fact, I went back and looked and in all my 85 works I've only written three one-shots from Iroh's perspective. Because he can't fucking do it. But I love him dearly and I guess he's just going on longer adventures.
2. Asami self-insert. You know that gif with the model walking out from the door all sassy like "heyyyyyy" yeah, that's Asami. I write fics she's not in and she shows up anyway (seriously - she wasn't supposed to be in either The Cabin or Uncle Iroh's Firebending Academy and she just decided she was needed and in she goes). Then she also doesn't listen to directions. I'm writing a fic right now (Tis the Sea Sun for Love) and she's twice wound up adding scenes because she wanted to do something else, like go get a pedicure or shop for a dress for her date. I just... I've given up. Asami is in charge and I'm just here to record it.
Anyway since these are the characters I write the most often now you understand why my fics are so damn long.
Ask me writing stuff
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All the Quiet Nights You Bear: Chapter 14
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: General
Ship: Thirteenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Yasmin Khan/Rose Tyler, Thirteenth Doctor/Rose Tyler/Yasmin Khan, Past Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Characters: Thirteenth Doctor, Yasmin Khan, Rose Tyler, Najia Khan, Hakim Khan, Sonya Khan
Series: And We’re Not Out of the Tunnel
Word Count (Chapter): 1,536
Other Tags: Fluff and Angst, Angst, Emotional, Disabled Character, Chronic Illness, Bad Wolf Rose, COVID-19, Self-Quarantine, Domestic, Autistic Characters, Polyamory, OT3, Slow Burn, Disability
Read on AO3 / Read in order
Summary: Rose Tyler-Noble jumps out of her parallel universe, leaving her husband and family behind in the hopes that being back in the right universe will improve her well-being.
Yasmin Khan is out for lunch with the Doctor when she sees a blonde woman sitting on the sidewalk, crying.
The Doctor, Yaz, and Rose travel back to Sheffield to see Yaz’s family, but they have to leave the TARDIS so it can reset, and when they come back, it’s gone. The police have confiscated it, and they want to see proof of ownership before they give it back. And the Doctor left her psychic paper on board. And they’ve landed in March of 2020, just before everything shuts down.
Stranded in Sheffield, they have no choice but to get a flat and quarantine together. Which, when you have three emotionally volatile people who care for each other more than they’re willing to admit, can be complicated.
(Sequel to And Still I Will Live Here, but hopefully readable out of context. Updating on Saturdays and Wednesdays.)
NOTES: my chapters get shorter and shorter as the fic goes on but they also get more emotionally charged so. it's a win <3 that's also why i switched to biweekly updates once i finished the body of the fic. anyway enjoy
Yaz feels herself falling apart. She’d been doing just fine, even adjusting to being back in the 21st century, until suddenly one piece of information hit her and she began to unravel. When she was a kid, she used to make little houses out of twigs in the park, stacking them up until she couldn't keep them stable anymore: she'd gotten good at it, too, creating towers as high as her knees, but even her strongest tower would fall over in a second if she pushed one of the twigs the wrong way. That's how she feels now. She's been a tower of sticks for the last few years, stable, sturdy, doing what had to be done. But now, one of the sticks at her foundation has been pushed aside, and the rest of her is tumbling to the ground.
She cares for the Doctor. Her love for the Doctor runs deep, and has run deep for years. But she hasn't been able to admit it. She hasn't been able to look at it. And now she's looked, she's forced to confront the fact that she really, truly doesn't believe that the Doctor could ever love her back.
And to make it all worse, it's happening in front of Rose, who has her own problems and her own feelings for the Doctor and who definitely does not need Yaz holding on to her and sobbing like a little kid.
“I'm sorry,” Yaz tries to say, her words garbled by her tears.
“'S all right,” Rose replies. “Not like I had any other plans for tonight.”
Yaz manages a laugh.
“It's just—“ She sits up a little, trying to force her feelings into words. “She's so— she's so vast. There's so much of her that I don't understand. And so much that she doesn't want to let me understand. How can I know I love her, when I barely know her?”
It takes Rose a moment to respond. Finally, she says, her arm still around Yaz's waist, “You'll never know everything. But the way the two of you interact— I think you know what matters.” She bumps against Yaz. “I mean, she taught you how to fly the TARDIS. I never knew half of what she taught you.”
Yaz can't meet Rose's eyes. “It's just because she doesn't want me to go crazy trying to figure it out on my own again.”
Rose laughs. “And why would she care so much about that, if she didn't care about you?” She pauses. “Anyway, the Doctor's TARDIS— it's like a part of her. She wouldn't teach you to fly it if it were just about that.” She shrugs, her shoulder moving against Yaz’s. “Besides, the way you talk to each other— have you ever noticed, you can have a whole conversation without saying a word? I can never understand what this Doctor's thinking, but you... I think you know her better than you think.”
“Maybe.” Yaz thinks it through. “She never tells me anything, is the thing. I know some of what she's thinking. But there's too much I don't know. Too much she won't tell me.”
“Yeah.” There's a long silence, and when Yaz looks over, Rose is staring off into space. “It's hard, loving someone like the Doctor.”
And then a new question rises to Yaz's mind. “Aren't you jealous?” she asks.
Rose looks at her, raising an eyebrow. “Are you?”
Yaz frowns. She sort of expects herself to be, but she isn't.
Rose shrugs again. “The Doctor's old. He loved people before he met me. She's loved people since. It's not a surprise she's picked up someone new, and it's not a surprise it's someone like you.”
“What do you mean?” There's so much about Rose that Yaz doesn't quite get yet. It's something about her expression: she somehow manages to keep her face totally blank.
“I don't know, you've just— you've got that spark,” Rose says vaguely. “The Doctor likes adventurers.” She bumps Yaz's shoulder again. “She won't admit it, but she likes when people argue with her. She likes to be challenged. After all, thousands of years of life, you're going to want people who give you new perspective, aren't you?”
“Suppose so.” Yaz has never really thought of herself as someone who gives new perspective. Sure, she challenges the Doctor sometimes, but that's just because the Doctor is so stubborn and headstrong that someone has to do it.
“Anyway,” Rose adds, still staring straight out in front of her, “I don't know how I feel about the Doctor anymore. I know how I felt about him. I know I love the version of him I married. But this Doctor— it's like I've said. I can't get through to her. Right now, I just miss my husband.”
“Yeah.” Yaz doesn't ask any more questions. “I'm sorry.”
Rose takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Yeah, well. It's not how I hoped our life together would go.”
Her head falls onto Yaz's shoulder, and Yaz stays still, trying to sort through everything she's feeling. It's such a whirlpool of emotion, and Yaz has never been all that great with emotions: she's always been the sort of person to push them down, run away, do anything she can to escape. But now she's stuck here, in this flat, with these people, one of whom she's been completely and secretly in love with for the last seven years.
Seven years.
It's mind-boggling, actually, that she could have the same feelings for one person for seven years. That's more than a quarter of her life. And especially considering she spent three and a half years away from the Doctor, and her feelings didn't fade at all— Yaz is in much, much deeper than she realized. Or— no. She's in much, much deeper than she’s ever let herself realize.
And now here she is, sharing a flat with the Doctor and the Doctor's ex, although thinking of Rose as “the Doctor's ex” feels like a horrible simplification. Rose's relationship with the Doctor is complicated, more complicated than any regular human relationship could be.
Then again, that also applies to Yaz, in a way. It's not the relationship that's complicated: it's the Doctor.
Maybe the complexity is worth it.
Yaz takes a deep breath. It's time for a distraction.
“D'you want to watch TV with me?” she asks Rose. “Pretty sure there's at least a series' worth of Great British Bake-Off I've missed.”
“Sure,” Rose says, lifting her head, wiping her eyes. “Erm, what's Great British Bake-Off?”
Yaz grins, reaching for her laptop. “I forgot. You've missed ten years of culture. We're going to have to catch you up.”
Rose smiles back.
“I won't argue.”
Yaz repositions herself so that she's sitting against the head of the bed, pressed against the wall. She reaches behind her and fluffs up her pillows, creating a back rest. Rose joins her, crowding in to the small space. Yaz spares a passing thought for how odd it is that she feels so comfortable so close to Rose so soon: she can count the number of people she'd normally let get this close to her on one hand. But it's been an emotional couple of days, and Yaz and Rose have shared a lot. It's only natural that Yaz would get comfortable with her fast.
She rests the laptop on her legs, navigating to the first series whose bakers look totally unfamiliar. It looks to be from 2018— the year after Yaz started traveling with the Doctor.
“So, what is this?” Rose asks, peering at the screen.
“It's a baking show,” Yaz explains. “They get all these home bakers in a tent, and every week they do challenges to see who's the best one. And they've got these hosts— although they've got new ones now, I think.” She shrugs. “It's been a good few years since I've had access to the Internet. My memory's kind of fuzzy. But it's good for a distraction.”
“Oh, God, I need a distraction, don't I?”
Yaz laughs. “Exactly.” She hits play.
Halfway into the second episode, Rose's head falls on Yaz's shoulder, and Yaz looks down to see that Rose is fast asleep. For half a second, she considers trying to wake her up, or maybe trying to carry her over to the other bed, but— well, Yaz isn't exactly uncomfortable, and she can't bring herself to disturb Rose's peace. So she stays still and silent, watching the show.
She must have fallen asleep, because suddenly her computer screen is blank, and it's completely dark outside, the glow of a streetlight casting a pale glow on Rose's empty bed. Yaz is slumped into the corner, and Rose is slumped on top of her, her head having drifted to rest on Yaz's chest. Yaz doesn't dare disturb her.
Although— very carefully, Yaz lifts the laptop and passes it over Rose's body to leave it on the nightstand. Bit by bit, she works the covers out from underneath them both, and she covers their bodies with the blanket. She eases herself into a lying down position, taking Rose with her as best she can.
And then she drifts off to sleep once more.
#fanfiction#my fic#doctor who#thirteenth doctor#rose tyler#yasmin khan#thirteen x rose#thasmin#thirteen x rose x yaz#emotional#angst#fluff#chaptered#yaz x rose#and we're not out of the tunnel#all the quiet nights you bear
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I am... gonna rant. Cuz I've been feeling... some type of way.
That way is very very very pissed off, by the way, just to set the mood for what's under that readmore. 😤😤😤
Okay so.... ive been posting more writing on my writing blog. And its been nice. People have been nice.
But here's the thing. And yes this is about the like/reblog ratio again. Because its been upsetting me. And yes im also on my period so im even more emotionally wacky but i have to get this out.
I made a small, teeny tiny vent post, that was incredibly sarcastic and bitchy and very clearly just me venting my own shit. I even explained in the tags that i was feeling really disheartened by it all and just needed to let out my feelings. And then i got this response:
And i GET it. People like things for reasons and blah blah blah BUT . I didnt know this person, nor did they know me. And they talked to me like i didnt fucking know how this goddamn website works, like i don't goddamn live here. It is not the same as any of that. "Its not that deep" I dont KNOW you!!! And you dont know ME! maybe it is! Maybe it IS that deep to me. I was obviously feeling upset enough to make a ranty post???
And they talked about not wanting things on their blog but they reblogged my personal bitchy post with a comment.... like... that could have been a reply!!! Or even better.... dont say fucking anything. It wasnt even a fandom blog. I dont know how they found the post, i didnt even tag it. I assume they follow someone who reblogged it, but i dont think it had that many reblogs. NOT THE POINT!
The point is, mainly, that... its nice getting attention for writing. Or any art you put out onto this little website, but like... my writing blog, which I've had for YEARS just NOW hit 10,000 likes like a couple days ago. And im not trying to sound ungrateful. Because likes are nice. They really are. I like posts all the time.
But the fact that i wrote a 12,000 word fic the other day, posted it, and it has 15 fucking notes, total. 2 of which are mine, because i reblogged it on my main blog. 5 total reblogs. And only one of those has tags. I understand that not everyone uses tags, thats chill.
BUT!!!! The fic was even NSFW and i dont write that super often, but its what i see most, its a popular genre, and the fic STILL only has 15 notes.
And it just... feels like I'm doing something wrong? Like, no matter what kind of fic i post, if it not just a tiny text post it feels like no one interacts or cares at all. And it just... fucking ... it's disheartening and exhausting and it fucking hurts.
Like why do i even fucking write anything? Or post anything? If no one gives a shit? Like, people dont get it, i know artists and gif makers, and literally anyone putting out content gets it. Because we put in hard fucking work and then get nothing back???
Like i have this amazing fic idea about plus size reader x eddie munson and i KNOW its gonna be fucking cute. Its eating away at my brain its so cute. But like.... .... i don't even want to write it now. Because no one will care. No one will interact with it.
It just sucks. I wanna write stuff and share stuff and know that people like it too. But like, if people only interact with posts that are like a paragraph long why the fuck should i even keep writing and posting stuff?
And i know im not the only one who feels this way. And it sucks. But to be complaining about it in my own space and have someone fucking come onto my post and tell me "it's not that deep".... like honestly, fuck you.
ESPECIALLY since i didn't know them??? And they didn't know me. And then came and talked down to me like I'm an idiot who doesn't know how this website works.
This is a sharing website. Its based on shares and sharing and thats how things get more views, and get more people into things, and the sharing and nice comments from others is what sparks more creativity and sparks more art and writing and gifsets and content.
And i don't know where im going with this, i don't really have an aim here i just needed to fucking rant. Because i got pissed off about it again and needed to let it out. But its goddamn exhausting when i put my heart and feelings and shit into my writing and then just... no one cares or interact or whatever and just uugghhh
IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING AND ITS MAKING ME FEEL GROSS AND UPSET AND I JUST WANNA ENJOY WRITING!!!!
#mine#personal#if anyone reblogs this or comments and says some dumb shit they're getting blocked i dont care anymore#im fucking done
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Superheroes with Secrets: Balls and Baubles (Fic Part 165. Set in 2001)
Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places. Please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts.
Tags: @tantamount-treason @piratewithvigor
Reference Posts: ‘Giantess’/'Blacklight Bandit’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ’Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)
"I'm your beast."
"You are like a species all to yourself… a hurricane of a human being, fast and strong but only when you need to be… god, I love you so much."
"I love you too, my sweet. I love you so much."
"Shane, I'm close… so close… oh, mon amour."
"Cum for me."
Kirby moans his name as she cums, breathing heavily but managing to stay awake.
"That's my good girl."
"brain is soup, but need to make the food for dinner." Kirby mumbles.
"I can handle that."
"But, me making it is tradition, I have done it every year since I was seventeen."
"Out of necessity. You don't have to anymore."
"Want to… I would feel useless if I didn't at least help…"
"We can do it together."
"Love you." Kirby whispers.
"I love you too."
"Baby Daddy…"
"Baby Mama."
"I love you so much… and right now I don't have the words to say anything."
"You don't have to say a thing."
Kirby sighs deeply before sorting herself out and kissing Helms gently.
"That's my girl."
"Me and you, mon mari… we can do anything… we are all powerful when together, no?"
"Powerful beyond anyone else."
"Like real life superheroes." Kirby smirks.
"Exactly."
"If we were superheroes… and you couldn't choose to be the Green Lantern, which superhero would you be?"
"Is the Hurricane an option?"
"Technically yes." Kirby nods, struggling slightly as she gets up.
"He's the one I'd pick. He's cool, sexy, and his wife is hot as fuck."
Kirby blushes as a deep red, stumbling over his words slightly, unable to say more than 'um' and 'well, I'.
He kisses her deeply, "I could never ask for a greater gift than having you as my family."
"Shane, I love you, mon mari… you vampiric sex god…"
"I love you too, my Gothic princess."
"Uhm, Shane, you remember when I woke up screaming your name a couple nights ago… and how I put if off as just a stupid nightmare?" Kirby asks gently, unlocking the door as Helms gets dressed.
"Yeah, I remember."
"Well… can I ask you to promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Shane… Gregory, can you promise me that if you ever, ever feel even the slightest bit in danger in the ring, you will walk to the back, grab me and leave the arena?"
"Of course, but… what's brought this fear on?"
"In that nightmare, you were wrestling someone and something went wrong and you hit your head on the ramp and cracked your skull open." Kirby explains, not looking at Helms.
"Jesus…" he whispers.
"And I don't want to lose you or have you get hurt that badly, but I didn't know how to explain it then, so I shrugged it off and then the fear got worse, and… Shane, I don't wanna lose you."
"Sweetheart, you won't lose me. The people we work with are safe and careful. Anyone who isn't doesn't get to wrestle the Hurricane."
"I know, but I still get scared, Shane… you're my husband, I can't risk losing you, mon mari… you aren't just my husband anymore either, you're gonna be a dad too… and I don't want Lilith growing up without her big strong daddy to protect her."
"Lilith isn't going to lose her daddy. Not ever. And you won't lose your husband."
"Shane, I'm just scared, okay… I haven't been married before, nor have I had a child before, so things like the possibility of you getting hurt makes me a little afraid."
"I know. I understand, sweetheart. Losing your partner and the parent of your child is a scary, awful thing. But I won't get hurt. Way too tough for that." He smiles encouragingly.
Kirby's about to say something when Shannon and Jeff crash through the tv room door, obviously play fighting but trying their hardest to insult each other into a real fight.
"Oy vey." Kirby sighs.
"Of course, we get practice being parents to these lunatics first."
"Shannon, buddy… Byddaf yn ffucin eich lladd, or as you say in Saesneg, I will fucking kill you." Kirby murmurs as she pulls Shannon off of Jeff.
"He started it." Shannon pouts.
"Jeffrey Nero Hardy, did you start this fight? Must I kill you in Shannon's stead, brawd bach gwallgof?"
"All I did was make him laugh when Matt bet him he couldn't chug a whole gallon of milk!"
"Pam mae Americanwyr mor dwp, pam roedd yn rhaid i arglwydd yn y nefoedd leihau eu hymennydd?" Kirby murmurs to herself.
"Take it easy on them, sweetheart, they're cruiserweights; they've got brain damage." Helms chuckles.
"You're the only intelligent one, it's partly why I'm married to ya." Kirby scoffs as she puts Shannon down and heads to the kitchen.
"Would you clowns shape up before she makes you sit outside to eat dinner?" Helms asks, giving Shannon a light smack in the back of the head.
"Sorry Shane." Shannon murmurs, blushing a light pink.
"I promise I won't hit him for the next hour." Jeff chuckles.
"Ninety minutes, or I'll bribe your girl to do something mean to you and she will."
"Fine, next hour and a half." Jeff whines.
"Wise lad."
"Shane, come help me cook, mon mari… having troubles with keeping weight off my bad leg… need a hug, too." Kirby murmurs as she stands in the kitchen doorway.
"Anything you need, sweetheart."
"Hug, please… maybe a squeeze, too."
"Sure thing." He smiles, hugging her tightly.
Kirby snuggles into Helms, kissing his temple and holding him close.
"I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you you too, mon ange… I love you so much."
"I love you even more. And I need you to sit down so you can keep resting your leg."
"I know, gimme a sec, mon ange." Kirby whispers, pulling away to grab her cookbook and sit down at the breakfast bar.
"Consider me your hands. Work through me."
"I'm tryin' to find the page… which is stuck together because of coffee, I think… gimme a moment."
"Sure thing, sweetheart."
"Right… there we go, there's your recipe." Kirby murmurs as she hands Helms the book.
"Looks simple enough."
"Dad bought me this book while he was in France in Eighty-six, waited for my seventeenth birthday to give it to me."
"That's really sweet of him."
"Christmas was never exactly one of our traditions… we had a feast and presents but, after that… nothing really, then dad died and I… I stopped celebrating any holidays." Kirby murmurs, playing with the sleeves of her shirt.
"That's what a new family is for. New traditions."
"New reasons to actually celebrate things… just wish my birthday wasn't so close to Christmas."
"I'll make both days special in their own right."
"Thank you, mon mari."
"It's my pleasure."
"Why do Americans make such a big deal about Christmas, I know the whole praise Jebus or whatever thing, but why do you guys start selling decorations for Christmas before Halloween… it seems slightly, derogatory towards those who prefer Halloween or don't celebrate Christmas."
"Because it's a holiday designed to buy things. A lot of things. Expensive things. The faster people buy these things, the better for companies."
"So… capita- cap- the word I can't say but you know what I mean." Kirby blushes.
"Capitalism, yeah. Root of all evil."
"I can't say that word, but then again I can say 'Grianghrafadóireachta', which is Irish for photography."
"Which I can't. We've got our strengths."
"Just be thankful I was born in Usk, and not in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch." Kirby smirks.
"Longest place name in wales. And you'll be pleased to know I've been to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch for the joke." He grins, pronouncing it perfectly on the first try.
"I love you, mon ange… you and your perfect pronunciation of Welsh, puts everyone else to shame, especially the other Americans."
"Well, they should be shamed anyway." He chuckles.
"Why do you say that, my love, is it purely because they don't bother to learn to speak to others in their native tongue, or is it another reason?" Kirby aske, leaning over the breakfast bar slightly and unintentionally showing Helms a lot of cleavage.
"That, and they're the main purveyors of capitalism, unnecessary wars and the murder of millions of innocents." He shrugs.
"Why do you think everyone hates the British so much, they built concentration camps during the Boer war, and for years kept the Irish as slaves."
"Yeah, they ain't exactly adored."
"Shane, is it just me or is my shirt tighter than normal, cause it feels a bit stuffy in here."
"Well, I mean, you're lactating now…"
"Yeah, still need to get a fuckin', what's the word… oh god, my brain's just soup, I can't remember the word for the thing."
"Pump?"
"Yes, that fucker." Kirby nods.
"Yeah, it's starting to get necessary."
"Feel like a cow… need to be milked."
"Very sexy." He winks.
"You wanna milk me, ya perv?" Kirby chuckles.
"A little bit."
"You actually want to… I can go check if we have a pump if you want to milk me."
"Where's the fun in a pump when I have my mouth and hands?" He smirks.
"I'll only let you do it if you rip my shirt off." She smirks.
"Maybe in a little bit. Before bed."
"Way to keep the tension up, mon sauvage, I'm gonna be bouncing with excitement all evening."
"Hoping so."
"You hoping that so you can watch my tits bounce?" Kirby teases.
"Of course."
"I swear you get so perverted… why does that turn me on… why am I like this?"
"Because you're just as sexy and weird as me." He winks.
"I prefer being sexy and weird to boring and normal."
"Me too. Especially if I get to see your tits as a result."
"You like these jugs, Shaney baby?"
"Love them."
"Do I distract you, mon amour?"
"Sometimes, for sure."
"Would you like me to pull my shirt down so you can get a better look at them?"
"Think if you do that, I may pounce."
Kirby chuckles softly, "Well, mon mari…" she slowly puts her hands on the collar of her shirt, "… you better stop me…" she pulls down her shirt, fully exposing her breasts, "… oops, too late, guess I better be punished?" She teases.
"Guess you better be."
"You gonna punish me Daddy?"
"That depends. What's babygirl think her punishment should be?"
"I think you should hold me down and make a meal out of my body all for yourself, if you get what I mean."
"Oh I know what you mean."
Kirby smiles at Helms, wiggling her chest to tease him.
"Guess the Hardys have to wait. Duty calls." He grins.
"C'mere sexy husband." She whispers.
He practically knocks her off her stool as he pulls her in for a hard kiss. Kirby moans against his lips, melting into the kiss.
"Bedroom?" He whispers.
"Must we hide our love, it's our home is it not?" Kirby teases.
"Well, no, we don't need to hide, but we need to cook in here at some point tonight with sharp knives. And you get… juicy, my love. Could be a safety hazard. Not to mention, probably against some kind of health code." He chuckles.
"Well, I suppose we should head upstairs, but you may have to carry me upstairs, mon mari."
"That, I can do."
"I love you, mon sauvage."
"I love you too, fy anwylaf."
"Which pagan god did you pray to to be so good at pronouncing Welsh words?"
"Is there one to pray to for that?"
"Well, I don't actually know, I haven't researched into the gods of my countries of heritage, but I do know not to trust the Fae how to look out for them."
"Met any fae?"
"Unless you or your friends are secretly fae, nope."
"Us weirdos with our colourful hair and our ability to fly? Didn't think we were being secretive." He grins.
"Ah, so I have sold my soul to the fae and have a changeling in my womb… how wonderful." Kirby murmurs, clearly not pleased by the idea.
#superheroes with secrets#shane hurricane helms#kirby roussimoff#blacklight bandit#orange and green - the perfect team#shannon brian moore#sws#kirby andrea roussimoff#delilah keshet rosenbaum#gregory shane helms#jeffrey nero hardy#matthew moore hardy#lita hardy
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I am a foodie but when I was posting too much food I was told I could not post anymore. Since I am a Herbologist, Spiceologist, change agent and wellness coach, I was not happy. So let's do it somewhere else. I don't care if I have zero audience, all that matters is my client I am preparing for.
Do you are limited to ten photos. That's ok. The pictures help you stay on track. International cultures have helped shape the way we eat and learn why they are healthier than us. Italians Mediterranean Asian India to name a few. As an American who was born in Asia I will admit I lost myself traditionally along the way. Idolized fast food because it was tagged as a treat when it was not at all a treat to the body. My education on food was revamped and my teachers were from Europe. I read cardiologist books and followed lots of herbalists who were awake longer than I. I got educated fast! Not understanding why you are told you are stuck with a certain disease or medication was not friendly at all. Fuck. Constipation is not friendly. Who wants that?! I am guilty of advertising certain brands and foods and I didn't know it was meant to make me addicted to it. Get out! I am guilty! No 12 step program for us. None for me. I abused my body by being stressed, angry, on the go, and doing too much. You are not worthy unless you did more type of leadership fucks with everyone. Changes needed to be made, no matter how late.
I experienced a stroke and I knew I was doing too much. The night before my heart was pounding too hard and that work out I adopted was wrong for Menon top of already a physical job. I just knew. So I stopped, went home and omg I woke up the next morning feeling different. By the time it was to go to work, I was lucky I didn't drop dead. I was driving to work k. Pulled over and called hubby. Ambulance came. That's where it started. What you assume about a stroke or heart attack is not correct. High blood pressure and high cholesterol may be present but stress is the key and unresolved psychological dangers. The other part is God's response. Three high blood pressure meds and one station later I was fighting to walk, stand and be loved and accepted. Can't have the other without the last two. Fight back and speak the truth because doctors bate egotistical assholes who's degrees are the basis of their way of communicating. Nobody sits and really talks to you. It was only until I studied herbalism and nutrition that I calmed down and accepted I am was doomed either way. Apologize to your kids because adopting what your parents used to discipline and teach about life is not right either. It's worst today vs. 1965. Don't assume your shit is great because they are all college degreed adults. You ain't there when it was their darkness hit. You were not there when your daughter was mind fucked by bullies. You soosh things away and you think time will change. COVID came and now everyone is equal. That degree didn't bring the money that once came. The doctors were not speaking out. They were scared.
You are on your own healing and educated better from people called quacks and witches. Weirdos from the islands with natives sharing their knowledge of plants. No help but by your own instincts. Someone asks how can you be so positive after having a stroke? I wish I could think like you. Every day you battle depression you say fuck you. I am walking to the bathroom and shit this log. Constipation will not rule me. Meds will not kill me. I will not be lied to by a doctor again. Why can't it be just 1 blood pressure med? Vs 3? Fuck it! I'm gonna focus on hubby losing weight and help him. At the same time I can help me. Low carb, no table salt, only kosher, no poison in the body. I have certification on the side but God gave me a PhD on my life, nobody else can speak to it but me. Not even the jealous toxic persons we walked away from. Talk behind my back, and to the group member who thought it was okay to share my answer to a question. You'll get yours.
Time to move on and love this new life. I had a set back but I'm not dead.
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Joy, I don't understand. It seems these days people make fan content specifically to make money and wouldn't make it otherwise. How do I stop myself from being rude and saying "well, what did you think was gonna happen?" to the next youtube community post I see stating they won't be posting edits anymore due to demonitization? I'm sure some of them mean well, but it really feels like people feel entitled to be paid for their fan work that they could potentially be sued for these days. Am I the one that's wrong? Is thinking that fan works should be made in your spare time purely for the love of it cynical of me?
I think the landscape of fandom has shifted so much over the last five to ten years that a lot of people, especially younger fans, don’t understand the precarious legal foothold fandom has. A large part of this is that fandom became more mainstream around about the same time as “monetize your hobbies!” hustle culture. Fandom is a hobby; ergo, you can earn a living from it.
Except not really, because while many people’s views toward fandom have changed, the legalities of fanwork haven’t. Oh, some big time creators might embrace fan art (hey, free marketing!) but they still can’t let you earn money from it. Which doesn’t mean some people don’t, it just means we cannot be seen to be making money from fan content. That’s what keeps our work and our community safe. It’s bullshit, I fully believe that it is, but it’s also the reality of the situation and that’s how fandom survives. It might feel mainstream, but we’re still the very much the kid busking on the corner of a conglomerate’s doorstep.
And for some people, fandom is just truly a hobby, and they have zero interest in monetizing it and that’s fine, more power to them. But I’m also never going to turn around and say people should never earn money from fandom. For one thing, it’d make me a raging hypocrite as I have accepted donations for fic when we couldn’t afford groceries. Fandom kept us afloat when all other lifelines fell through. Fandom has and always will support and take care of our own. What I do think, however, is that fan creators need to be aware of the legalities of what they’re doing and be much smarter about how they tag, title, and promote things, especially on places like YouTube, where big companies spend unimaginable amounts of time and money scanning videos for copyright content. (NB: this does not mean copyright is evil. Copyright is often the only thing protecting the work of small-time creators against big creators from stealing their work without compensation. Looking at you, #Disney Must Pay.)
So do I think people are entitled from wanting to earn money from fan content? No. Do I think a lot of younger fandom creators have lost the understanding of fandom from a legal aspect? Absolutely. Many of them grew up with fandom as a norm. It is permanent to them. They never woke up one day to find all their content gone over night because the server got hit with a cease and desist letter from a litigious creator. So without that context, it’s jarring when it does happen. And it’s very easy for a lot of us old-timers (I say, while my 70 year old SW fandom friends pat me on the head like a toddler) to roll our eyes because, of course, you cannot monetize fandom. But I think it’s more important for us to go hey, yeah, that’s been happening since paper print fanzines, shit sucks... but here’s how you build a supportive community anyway...
tl;dr: the cultural perception of fandom has changed, but not the legalities of it, which is confusing to a lot of younger folks who have all been told repeatedly to monetize their hobbies, so I don’t blame them for being pissed and confused when they do just that and get hit with a copyright strike from YT.
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