#I could go on way longer about this story though
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tom riddle. | you don’t have to do this
summary: you and tom have endured seven years of ignoring your feelings for eachother for mattheo’s sake, and simply just can’t do it any more. it’s wrong, we shouldn’t be doing this type of trope.
word count: 1.2k
tags: nothing just a lot of angst and mentions of fighting (tom and mattheo), tom and reader kiss at the end. collective yet suppressed pining.
notes: this started out as headcanons and turned into something way longer (story of my life?). i need this as an entire proper fic, this is simply a concept for the time being.
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okay so like we all know about the cold, emotionally detached tom riddle—but what about the tom riddle who has been secretly harbouring feelings for you for years? the tom who has kept these feelings hidden because his brother, who has always been open about his affection for you, feels the same way.
what about tom riddle who has watched mattheo hit on you every single fucking day for 7 years and has found himself on the brink of bloody exploding because even though you reject mattheo every single time, the silent torment is unrelenting, and there’s always the gnawing chance that maybe one day you won’t turn him down.
what about tom riddle who forces himself to be distant from you, abruptly severing any tutoring sessions or any other individual interactions that might put you in close proximity to him because he needs to purge these feelings for you yet every goddamn moment near you makes it fucking impossible to do just that.
what about tom riddle who intervenes when you're all gathered in the common room on a friday night, drinking, to tell mattheo to lay off as he continues bugging you after you’ve told him to go away ten times over.
of course, you and mattheo always bicker and banter in a lighthearted manner. mattheo has been in your life for seven years. he’s your bestfriend. you love him, just not like that. never, like that. he just doesn’t know when to relent.
what about tom riddle who doesn’t dare meet your gaze as he succeeds in getting mattheo to leave you alone, fearing the admiration in your eyes would linger in his peripherals, infiltrating his mind and haunting him when he tries to sleep at night. he’d keep his sights glued to his brother, not breaking away until he’d lost him in the crowd, before he’d retreat himself, as well, without saying another word.
what about tom riddle who finds himself intervening more and more frequently, unable to endure it any longer? as though the flood gates were now wide open and he just simply couldn’t stop himself? as though he could sense the shift in admiration you had for him. as though he knew this is what you needed.
what about tom riddle, who knows his brother is harmless, yet simply can't refrain from getting increasingly more irritated with him every time he brings you up until one day it erupts into a full-blown fight in the middle of the common room as mattheo starts to grow suspicious about tom’s intentions, fueling the tension between them to its breaking point.
now, what about you, who watches this entire thing unfold, torn between feeling bad for mattheo and suffocating admiration for tom? you don’t know why tom has suddenly decided to intervene so often, but there’s a knot in the pit of your stomach every time you look at him, and the fact that he doesn't dare meet your eyes only intensifies it.
you’ve always harboured secret feelings for tom, but you could never act on them, knowing it would shatter mattheo’s heart. (more like his ego. we all know this boy would be sleeping around unfazed while still trying to pick you up. he’d just be pissed you chose tom over him.)
what about tom riddle who swallows the pit of guilt lodged in his throat, deep down feeling terrible for what he just did as he goes to brush past you to clean his knuckles up in the bathroom, tensing as tight as a coiled spring when you suddenly stop him with a gentle hand on his arm—a silent exchange of knowing admiration immediately passing between you.
little did you know, the second he met your eyes, the second you touched him, it was over for him. regardless of how cold and indifferent he was coming off. internally, he was in flame. clinging to the very last tattered strings of his resolve.
now what about you, who immediately senses the guilt in tom’s eyes and feels a sense of resonance? you, who is riddled with your own layers of guilt—for being the reason they fought, for not reciprocating mattheo’s advances, for desiring his brother instead, and for the very move you were about to make just now as tom’s eyes dipped over your lips, lingering there for far too long.
“let me help you clean up…it’s the least i can do…”
what about tom riddle who would nod silently, outwardly reluctant but internally eagerly willing, following you out of the common room and into your dorm— sheepishly tracing after you as you lead him to your bathroom, internally counting the number of tiles lining the floor or the seconds between each breath he took—anything to distract him from the intimate proximity he found himself in with you just now.
he had to keep it together. he shouldn’t be here.
and what about you, whose entire body is vibrating, hands trembling slightly but enough to be entirely noticeable as you patch up his knuckles—avoiding looking up at his face as he grimaces from the sting of the cleaning solution, your focus solely on the task at hand.
you, who nearly jumps out of your own skin as he speaks to you for the first time in what has felt like ages.
“you don’t have to do this, you know…”
“and you didn’t have to fight your brother…”
“fair point.” he’d chuckle. fuck, you’d missed that. “mattheo just wouldn’t leave it alone.”
“he hasn’t…for seven years.”
he’d hum a nod. “he’s obsessed. no one can blame him.”
you, who involuntarily looks up, unable to stop yourself now, your heart pounding like a wild animal desperate for release. the room suddenly feels stifling as he looks down at you, meeting your eyes, your mind swirling with thoughts of how badly you want to kiss him, how utterly wrong it would be to do so, and how much it would piss off mattheo. you’re fighting to decide if you even care.
“hm,” you should play it off, but you can’t. “care to elaborate?”
tom riddle who has to fight the urge to reach up and grasp the back of your neck and pull you into him, his fingers practically twitching with the desire to close the gap between you. tom riddle who is merely inches away from you, battling every instinct urging him to give in. he can see it in your eyes, the longing, the desire mirrored back at him. he can practically feel it in your touch.
“all the guys are obsessed with you.” so quiet you almost missed it, so gentle it almost tickled. “you’ve always had that effect. you’re fucking beautiful.”
his eyes are on your lips now and you’re trembling, stomach doing cartwheels. you go to break eye contact but his hand reaches out and cups your cheek, stalling you in place.
it’s wrong. this is wrong. “i…”
“hm?” he tilts his head.
“tom…”
his thumb ghosts over your cheekbone. his eyes don’t know where to land. “don’t act like you don’t have feelings for me…i see it…”
you shudder, scorching under the heat of a thousand suns. gods, you want this. youve fucking dreamed of it. but you can’t, you can’t do that to mattheo, it’s—
“it’s wrong…he’ll be furious…”
tom riddle who intently observes you as you tremble under his touch, your nerves palpable through your skin. tom riddle who finds it almost relieving, to see you like this— as though this is a confirmation of his hopes and suspicions, a validation of the effect he’s always hoped he’d have on you. tom riddle who agrees with you, who knows exactly how fucking wrong this is, but after seven years of suppressing it—doesn’t know how much he fucking cares anymore.
tom riddle who, in this moment, wants to do so many fucking things to you he doesn’t even know where to start.
his hand slides lower, his thumb grazing your jaw. “he’s tried, for so long, to get your attention…and he’s never gotten a damn thing from you…”
his hand shifts again, his thumb reaching for your bottom lip, tracing it and tugging on it gently. you’re in shambles, barely breathing, oxygen fleeing the vicinity and being replaced by suffocating desire, tom’s lips being the only reprieve in sight.
“but look at me…” he continues. “i do one thing, and you’re on fire.”
tom riddle and you, both on the verge of falling apart, unable to contain yourselves any longer. you don’t have to say another word as your eyes lock and you move in perfect synchrony, crashing your lips together with an urgency that speaks of years of pent-up desire.
it’s as if the world would end if you didn't, as if you were determined to make up for seven years of denial and restraint for mattheo’s sake and just indulge in each other for once. your kiss is filled with thirst, hunger, and unbridled passion, evident in the way your fingers dig into each other, as if to confirm that this is real, that it's not just some dream.
#i’m not fucking breathing actually i think im deceased yes i am a ghost#tomriddle#tom riddle#tom riddle x you#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle x yn#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle x oc#tom riddle smut#mattheo riddle#mattheoriddle#mattheo riddle x y/n#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo#riddle smut#riddle brothers#slytherin boys#slytherinboys#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin#harry potter#tomriddle smut#tomriddlesmut#tomriddle x reader#mattheoxreader#mattheo riddle x reader
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is it over now? (was it over then?)
part six
part seven: i slept all alone
Steve had been getting into the rhythm of a new set and being without Robin for the first couple of weeks of production. He wasn't as deer in the headlights as he had expected but he did feel somewhat distant from the rest of the cast who all had connections dating back years. Steve took his time getting to know everyone and by the end of the second week he felt less like a pity invite to going out in the small Italian town and more like one of the group. He still respectfully declined the invite so he wouldn't miss out on his approximately one hour of social media time he allowed himself to keep to the general spirit of the director's rules.
Steve didn't mind being generally unplugged but he did really like to keep up with what his kids were doing and he felt like he was at least a little obligated to see how Robin and Nancy were getting on without him present for cover. The kids kept their whatsapp group chat to a relatively manageable level during the week leaving a few tidbits here and there for Steve to catch up on and after Steve felt mostly caught up he'd provide a short little update of what his week was like. Usually no one got back to him super quickly as it was mid-day in the states and most of the kids were at work or busy and Robin and Nancy were usually a bit tied up in each other if they didn't have any other obligations. Steve didn't mind though because next week like clockwork he'd have several follow up questions and encouraging notes about his update before the group chat chatter turned to whatever else had happened.
Once Steve had caught up with whatsapp he started scrolling through instagram and noticed he had a few tagged posts. Some were just the usual gossip sites taking random paparazzi photos to add to a weekly roundup of where famous people were summering or similar nonsense but he saw a photo of Robin and Nancy he most certainly was not expecting to see come up on his feed.
buckley guess the cat's out of the bag. srry i'm not cool and romantic like my new partner (!!!) but it's pretty great not to have anxiety attacks that i didn't actually turn on close-friends or worry that some waiter read into nance and i's behavior too much. thnx steve-o for keeping this under wraps for way longer than you had to and for being the best scene partner / rumored lover a girl could ask for. hurry back from italy so you can third wheel us in public, dingus.
Steve double checked the time in the US and called up Robin. She had some explaining to do.
***super short update because i am sick but i wanted to keep the story moving! just wanted to show a quick glimpse of Steve seeing Robin's post. depending on how the story is going the next part might be Steve and Robin's phone call or back to Eddie trying to get his shit together***
@lololol-1234 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @zombiethingy @grtwdsmwhr @dreamercec @anne-bennett-cosplayer @strawberryyyenthusiast @mensch-anthropos-human @kal-ology @ttyrussss @kristmkris @starman-jpg @wonderland-girl143-blog @child-of-cthulhu @legalmenace87 @adealwithher @practicallybegging @lunaraquaenby @stripey82 @lexyvey @goodolefashionedloverboi @mothmamhasyourlocation @mugloversonly @sherrylyn0628 @steddieinthesun @wonderland-girl143-blog
(if you wanna be tagged in future parts feel free to comment! happy to add people)
#steve x eddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie fic#steddie#don't worry robin will fix it#angst#angst with a happy ending#rockstar eddie#actor steve#was it over then ficlet
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I miss Tech. I know you might not be able to write for awhile and I get that. If you feel up to it though could you please write a fic where Tech is able to come to Pabu after tantis and finds out the Marauder is gone. Maybe reader (platonic/aromantic) comforts him with hugs and memories tks
Hello! I have some pretty strong feelings about Tech and how we still didn't see him in the entire last third of The Bad Batch. Here is hoping he will come home soon. And in manifestation of this....
Tech x GN!Reader
Warnings: Mention of injuries, but nothing explicit. No indication of whether Tech was CX-2 or not. Tech lives, obviously!
You sat on the landing pad near the ocean. It was empty now, but the last few remnants of the Marauder were only recently removed. In the rush to get to Tantiss, the people of Pabu did their best to help clean up the mess from the explosion while Wrecker, Hunter, and Crosshair left with Phee. You were among them, trying to grab whatever you could and sort through anything that you felt the brothers would want to keep. There wasn't much. Thankfully Gonky, Lula, Tech's goggles and various pieces of armor were already removed when the ship exploded. You did, however, manage to find and keep one thing.
You smiled to yourself as you looked down at the yoke and the lever used to jump to hyperspace.
"You recovered it?" Tech asked as he approached.
"I did," you replied with a smile. "I thought you might want to keep it."
Tech sat next to you with a flinch and sighed.
"You okay?" you asked.
"I'm better today." He was still healing, but mostly there. His family had waited until he was better to tell him about the Marauder. He didn't take it well, although he tried to insist it was merely a ship that could be replaced. You all knew better, but it was Tech's way to try to process the information.
Tech reached for the yoke and you gladly gave it to him. He held it in his hands as he had done hundreds of times while piloting the ship. It fit his grip perfectly.
"I requested this particular part," he said. "I requested the modifications to the Marauder. I was nine, but argued that since they felt we were nearly ready for battle, we should be able to get the best equipment. They made some of the modifications, but I made most of them. Even the ones they deemed unnecessary."
He reached for the lever and you handed it to him. He felt so natural holding these pieces, yet they were less familiar since they were no longer attached to anything.
"What was it like when you first flew the Marauder?" you asked.
Tech fondly smiled and answered, "The training simulations were not adequate, but I adapted quickly."
He grimaced, now faced with the thought that he would never fly his ship again. He would never have that home again. He took in a breath. Things changed, but he wasn't alone. He made it to Pabu, their new home. He put the yoke and lever aside and tried to smile at you. You opened your arms to invite him in for a hug if he wanted it. He didn't hesitate. He'd been separated from his family and friends for so long. He rested his head against yours and you held each other. While he wasn't usually one to cry, a few tears trickled down his face.
"I cannot explain why I feel this way. I'm home. We lived. I should only feel gratitude."
"It's okay, Tech," you reassured. "Sometimes I can't put my finger on my feelings, but I simply feel them. We're all built a little different. Besides, you survived a terrible fall. It takes a toll on your body, including your exceptional mind."
He nodded and took in a deep breath. You held him a little closer and waited for him to feel ready to let go. You stayed up with him and watched the ocean while he spent the night telling you all kinds of stories about flying and the modifications he wanted to make on a new ship.
#tbb#tbb fanfiction#tbb tech#tbb tech lives#the bad batch#the bad batch tech#tech lives#tbb tech x reader#tech x reader#tech anon#tech x platonic reader#tbb tech x platonic reader#tech x gn!reader#tbb tech x gn!reader#reader insert#platonic reader
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You are the one I’d come looking for. Over and over and over again
A/N: I am SO sorry for this but I can’t believe I’ve never seen a fanfic like this so I took it upon myself to write it. No beta reading or editing. We die like..nevermind
TW: angst, hurt and comfort, leprosy? No one is dying!!
People had thought her foolish for longer than she could think.
A pretty, young maiden from a good house, wealthy parents with political influence others could only dream of and yet she had chosen to marry a leper.
The king of Jerusalem was well known around nobility for more than just that of course, having won the battle of Montgisard against the Arabs at such young age seemed like a miracle from God above.
Even before that she had been by his side and it was not the fortunes, glory or status that had interested her which would no doubt be beneficial side effects of being married to him.
No young woman in her right mind would have willingly accepted the hand of a man doomed and she could hardly blame them.
Her parents had approved of the marriage as their hands were bound, depending on trade offers and the generosity of the holy land for their own existence.
Even then, when the letter from the court of Jerusalem had arrived they had been worried about the future of their darling girl.
Everyone had been, even nobility from far away and the news of King Baldwins marriage had spread quickly and then the whispering began.
She had never been bothered by the likes of them, faithful to her new husband who treated her with utmost care, she had everything she could have ever asked for and more.
He was a good man, gentle and wise for his age and he was grateful she had accepted his hand in marriage, he would have been a fool to not treat her well.
To him it was more than a political match propagating his strength to the outside kingdoms and his own.
To him this young woman was home, acceptance and love.
Despite all this their marriage was a slightly unusual one.
They had never been able to kiss nor were they able to consummate the marriage in a way deemed proper, the king refusing to risk contagion and his physicians agreed with him.
Despite all this she had never minded the lack of physicality in their marriage all that much.
She cared about him in a way that was beyond desires of the flesh, what they shared came close to holiness.
They talked a lot, shared poems and stories when she would caress his bandaged hands.
She would spend the late evenings in their shared chambers, after a tremendous amount of convincing, finally applying ointments to his sore, blistered skin to help it slow the spreading.
She would caress his bare back with fingers gentle as if she feared he would disappear into thin air, like a vision or a daydream, is she dared touching him too firmly.
In their eyes those sacred moments were almost enough but of course even the fate of the most pure could be harsh more often than not.
It started with a pale rash on her side, right over her ribs.
At first she had been sure it had come from spending too much time in the stables, perhaps she had been bitten by an insect.
Then one night when she had just finished brushing her hair before going to bed she noticed the tingling numbness in her fingers and feet.
It started slowly, like tiny ants crawling over her skin, not painful but the recognition was and she could feel her heart drop.
Though it wasn’t herself she feared for.
Baldwin let his best physicians be called to their shared chambers immediately.
After the three men had taken a look at her, whispering in a foreign language with their eyes drooped with worry and told them how deeply sorry they were the young king wished for his instant death.
He had always had a hard time being kind to himself, never to others but the wave of agony that rolled over him threatened to swallow him whole, burning like a demonic fury.
Her own eyes brimmed with tears and she sat up after the physicians had left, so frightened for her husband who was now sitting on the edge of the bed, his masked face buried in his hands with his shoulders trembling.
There was no use denying that she had caught the disease.
It was only a matter of time, she is playing with fire, others had whispered behind her back when they thought she wasn’t listening.
“Baldwin..” crawling up on the bed right behind him she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
The gesture that had comforted him even in his worst moments now seemed to shatter his heart even more so.
“I have been so foolish..my beautiful, beautiful angel” he whispered, his voice dying in his throat and when he raised his head his eyes were flooded with tears.
He was trembling as he spoke and she was frightened as he nearly seemed mad with grief.
“You should have never come here..I should have never asked anyone, you, to put themselves in danger for my foolishness. If the Lord wants to punish me so be it but why would he wish to punish you of all people? When it was I who was selfish?”
She only noticed that she too was crying when she tasted the salt on her lips, wiping it with shaking fingers.
“Do not say such things..you are not selfish, nor foolish. It was I who made the decision to accept the offer to marry you with the pain and dangers that I was warned of. And I swear to you that even now I do not regret our vows, a single day or night we spent together”
Reaching out for him he cupped his cheek, a pained smile gracing her features in the soft candle light of his chambers.
“Please do not blame yourself my love. I am not scared of my fate but I am scared of losing you, whether it be to grief or shame. I beg of you, don’t leave me now”
There had never been a moment where Baldwin had to fight against contempt for himself as in this very moment.
He disdained himself for causing her to share his fate when he should have been the one to be level headed, keeping a distance for her own safety when in reality he was the one searching for her warmth like a frightened little boy.
Now there was no use avoiding her, he recognised with bitterness seeping like pus from an open wound.
Now it was too late, the die had been cast but all words of comfort, an apology he could have offered her seemed to be worthless now and he knew this sweet, innocent girl would not hear it.
How wonderfully stubborn she could be sometimes, with too much love to give and headstrong to a point where it was almost unbecoming for a woman but he wouldn’t have it any differently.
“Come now” she murmured, shuffling on the bed to slip underneath the covers.
The silken sheets were cool against her skin and a part of her wondered for how long she would be able to feel them at all.
She pulled him in as she did every night since they had exchanged their vows, his head resting against her shoulder and she caressed his soft hair soothingly.
“The promise of God is not that He will never give us more weight than we want to carry. The promise of God is that He will never put more on us than we can bear.”
Her voice was so soft as she spoke, without a tremor and she was not scared anymore.
Not for herself nor for him, not when God was watching over them, not when her love for him burned stronger than ever and she could feel his heart beating, so alive and warm in his chest.
“Let us not waste the precious time we have..not a second”
This was something the young king could not disagree with and how eager he was for her comfort if that meant to comfort her.
Now he had to be strong for her sake when she needed him now more than ever before, and she was right.
The promise of God is that He will never put more on us than we can bear, no matter how heavy the burden can be in the darkest times.
He shuddered when he felt her gentle fingers sliding the silver mask off his face as she had done many times before but something about it now felt different.
His eyes were wide, still glossy and red, his face scarred severely but she could only see the man she loved more than anyone or anything.
They looked at each other for what felt like hours, the fingers of one hand entwined, the other on each others cheek, stroking over skin, gently brushing a strand of hair behind one’s ear.
She was the one to lean in first and to him the feeling of her soft lips on his, for the first time ever felt like he was being reborn.
The kiss was clumsy with inexperience but it could not have been more raw and honest.
She kissed him like she didn’t care about his disfigured lips and he kissed her like it was the last thing he would ever do.
Both of them kissed like they had been starving for this and now there was nothing left to lose and by the end of the kiss both of them were crying.
A soft sob rose in his chest, fading into a huffed out laugh and he seemed drunk with fondness for her.
She only smiled, wiping his tears as he wiped hers before leaning in again to kiss her warm, soft lips once more with more urgency this time, in disbelief that he would get to experience something like this after all.
Something that made him feel less alone, more like any normal young man instead.
A wave of warmth flooded him when he felt a small, soft hand slip underneath his nightgown, resting on his bare stomach and when he pulled away from the kiss, his cheeks flushed he recognised the desire in her eyes.
Honest and playful as she was and despite his nervously racing heart he gave her the most timid nod.
There was no fear within either of them now, uncertainty perhaps and pain surely, worry about what the future might bring but they had each other after all.
Each other and a life time left to love, however long that might be.
#baldwin iv#king baldwin iv#kingdom of heaven#baldwin iv x reader#baldwin iv headcanons#baldwin iv fanfiction
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My silly thoughts on Guesthouse of the (Lost) Astartes Series
Tagging: @kit-williams, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog,
@bispecsual, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts
Here are some of my own thoughts/headcanons/comments while writing this story:
Erriox loves Lenora very very much, and Lenora feels the same. Though it took them longer before their bond truly became a mate bond. Whereas Alcyon and Malaran has an intense bond with Amelia and Ben respectively, resulting in Malaran considering Ben, his child, and Alcyon considers Amelia his mate/wife within a very short period of time. It wasn't exactly difficult for Alcyon to take the role that Amelia's ex left behind, to be honest.
Potential number of Ben’s dads = - 1 + 2. Problem here would be that Malaran and Alcyon might start butting heads if Ben starts calling either of them 'dad'. Especially if Ben starts calling Alcyon 'dad'. As chaos space marines are rather possessive of their bonded humans.
The deeply religious consider chaos space marines as demons and of the devil. Any one who is bonded to one are either ousted or must be 'saved'. Since Ben is the firstborn (only) son, they were trying to 'save' him from Malaran's 'influence'. His mother (Amelia) already 'fell' (bonded with a chaos Iron Warrior), but since she's the wife and not truly family, ousting her was not a big issue. They can raise Ben themselves to make sure he walks the right path in life.
Erriox just wants to mack on Lenora. Malaran's a prick for calling him out.
Alcyon, despite being a chaos space marine, has some degree of propriety. Put it this way: say he has it in his head of wanting to bend Amelia over the admin desk of the medical wing and take her right there, he'll think it, but he ain't gonna say it out loud or at least not until when they're in private. Malaran doesn't have as much of a filter.
Lenora prefers that Amelia remember her as a responsible adult, and not take children for high-speed joyrides chases on winter roads. She is a decent driver, but even that was pushing her skills to the limit and she heavily relied on luck to get them through okay.
Erriox has seen Lenora drive, but never like the Tokyo Drift stunt she pulled. Poor man darn near had a heart attack. That was the first time he had to confront the fact that Lenora could've gotten seriously hurt or killed before his eyes and there was very little he could do to stop it as he was also dealing with the Black Templar at the time.
When Erriox and Malaran took a long time to get back to the base, that was the first time Lenora got scared that Erriox was going to die or was dead. To say the least, both of them had some reservations of this whole plan at some point, despite only outright saying so at the end.
Don’t leave a mess in Apothecary Osteron’s medbay. Medics are scary when angry. I picture him as a mix of Ratchet from Transformers and Unohana from Bleach. He has health and safety standards and it is important to keep his medbay clean. His poor staff JUST cleaned it, he's not about to make them do it again. Might as well get the three knuckleheads to do it since they were the ones who made the mess.
Alcyon once made children cry when he went to the medical ward to pick up Amelia, because he was so intimidating.
Also, Alcyon can’t purr like Malaran or Erriox. Man’s still learning. Amelia finds his attempts to purr cute and endearing despite sounding like something between a broken engine, snarl, and the lowing of needy tiger (or a lowing cow).
Warmaster be like “This bunch of chucklefucks just haaaaad to start shit with the goddamn Black Templar.” Now he has to do PR and negotiations to avoid too much bad blood with the Imperial Fists in the city. All he wanted was just one week without drama. His dang fault though. This wouldn't have happened if Amelia wasn't banned from contacting her son.
Amelia knows some Gothic. She knows enough, but not a lot. That's why she was blushing when Malaran made that comment.
Does she know that Alcyon pretty much considers her his mate/ wife? Yes, from his actions, but Alcyon had never outright told her. Sometimes he would call her by those names in Gothic as a term of endearment, but never told her what they mean. However, like she mentioned in the chapter, the wounds left by previous relationship is still pretty fresh. While she loves Alcyon deeply and returns his affections, at that point, Amelia's still pretty hesitant about calling Alcyon her lover.
Malaran can and will start shit, especially if it has anything to do with Ben. Also, he can be a little shit sometimes.
Meaning in floriography of the little bouquet of yarrow (Achillea millefolium) and dandelion on Alcyon’s desk. Dandelions symbolize hope, strength, resilience, and renewal. Yarrow has the double meaning of love and healing, and can also mean “I love you in spite of everything” or everlasting love. Like dandelions, it is also considered a tough hardy weed, which is representative of Alcyon’s physical character and th resilience of the bond itself.
Alcyon gifted the flowers to her as part of his apology for the fallout from his fight with the Black Templar at Ben's school. That was a massive fuck up on his part and he knew it. At first Alcyon didn't think much of it and thought that was in his right to challenge the Black Templar, with the intention of winning back Ben for Amelia, only to realize that it cost her the last chance to see her son. With Amelia not wanting to be near him nor see him for an extended period of time, and the bond backlashing onto him, it was causing Alcyon to start to lose his mind. Luckily, Osteron intervened and managed to convince Amelia to at least meet with him again. From there, Alcyon slowly made amends for his mistake. He fell hard for this woman and formed such an intense bond, so it was something he couldn't easily give up. His brothers advised him that human women loved flowers, so he ended up picking a bunch that was available at the time and gifting it to Amelia. It wasn't much and the way he presented them to her was kind of awkward and intimidating, but it was a start and his apology was genuine, and Amelia was touched by the gesture. To say the least, they spent that night making up for lost time in his room. She decided to the flowers left behind on his desk, to add "a pop of colour" to the grey utilitarian style of the room. Alcyon couldn't help but indulge her request. He later learned about the symbolic meanings of the flowers that he gave Amelia, and found it amusing and ironically fitting for what he was trying to say when he gifted them to her.
I think that bonds can be negatively affected and broken not just by death and distance, but also by major emotional trauma. Intense bonds, like between Alcyon and Amelia, are affected by the consequences of emotional trauma more harshly than normal bonds. How it could be saved just depends on how resilient the relationship is between the two parties and/or if they are lucky enough to have someone to intervene before that bond is broken. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that the affected space marine will hunt down his bonded human in an attempt to either save the bond from being broken or quell the psychic backlash. (Possibly becoming yandere in the process)
Love to know your thoughts as well!
#warhammer 40k#space marine husbandry#space marine husbandry sentience#guesthouse of the lost astartes#iron warriors#chaos iron warriors#black legion#chaos astartes#loyalist astartes#headcanons
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Diabolik Lovers Lost Eden Stellaworth Tokuten Short Stories スペシャル特典小冊子 ☽ Yuma ver.
This short story booklet was part of the Stellaworth set for Lost Eden! Keep reading below the cut for Yuma's version. Kou's and Azusa's are coming soon!
[Ruki's version] [Kou's version] [Azusa's version]
Special thanks to @karleksmumskladdkaka for providing the scans ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
I wanted to atone for my sins, that bastard–Shuu had said.
At the time, I thought he was fucking with me, but when I thought about it, I realised I might actually be trying to do the same..
☽
“Fuck… Where’d that pipsqueak go?” I barged through the streets in a quiet Eden.
Eden is about as big as it looks. It’s got plenty of hiding places, which I knew from the time I spent here growing up. That meant that trying to find someone here was next to impossible.
To make matters worse, the person I was looking for was about as tiny as a sprout.
“Yuma?”
When I turned the corner, the person I saw unfortunately wasn’t the kid I was looking for… or so I thought. There he was, staring up at me in amazement from my girl’s arms.
“Huh, so he was with you…”
I sighed heavily. He seemed to be sleeping pretty soundly, too, completely oblivious to my relief.
As soon as the kid became able to move on his own, he disappeared as soon as you took your eyes off him. It’s not like the pipsqueak could actually run around and get very far, but his unpredictable movements made me anxious to lose sight of him.
“Jeez… I thought he’d be a bit more well-behaved.”
Unlike that pain-in-the-ass, I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut.
“Don’t you think he’s starting to resemble you, Yuma?”
“What? You don’t know that. He can’t even talk yet.”
“I know, but… When I see you two side by side, you do kind of look alike. Maybe because you spend so much time together.”
I fell silent. She looked me in the eye, a kind smile on her face. She probably saw right through my behaviour, too.
The reason why I needed to protect this… this kid… was it really because I wanted to atone for my sins? I suddenly pondered that question. Boss was killed under my watch–twice–and then Shuu went and died on me too. Those sins of mine might’ve been weighing on me more than I’d initially thought.
Still, even if I make amends, that bastard is no longer around to see it. And it’s not just him. I lost everything dear to me many times over, and even the most important things to me now I can count on one hand.
And that’s when this little creature came into my life.
I had to protect him. I couldn’t just let him die like I had let the others die. At least, that’s what I thought–that I wanted to repent. But at the same time, I was also kinda hesitant to attribute that sentiment to something else.
She didn’t beat around the bush, though–she told me it was love.
“Ah, did we wake you?”
The kid, who’d been cooped up in her arms, slowly stirred awake. He opened his eyes, still a bit sleepy, and looked in my direction as he yawned unabashedly. A big, carefree yawn. The fact that his languid expression reminded me of a certain someone irritated me, but I felt myself relax a little, too.
“Not a single thought going on in that lil’ head, huh? Just like that NEET.”
She laughed.
“C’mere. I’ll hold him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, ‘n gimme your hand, too.”
I grabbed her small hand in mine while I held the baby in the other. These were the two people I wanted to protect most of all. Their warmth proved that they were alive and well, and when they were near me, my mind went in all sorts of foolish directions.
Even if this was my atonement, I strongly felt that I never, ever wanted to lose these two. And that was enough for me. It wasn’t really in my nature to worry about these kinds of things, after all.
Having put my doubts behind me, I felt myself getting tired, too. I couldn’t hold back a yawn.
“Ah, look at him.”
The kid stared up at us as he yawned in the exact same way, earning a chuckle from my girl.
#diabolik lovers#dialovers#diabolik lovers translation#diabolik lovers translations#diahell#otomehonyaku#my translations#mukami yuma#yuma mukami#diabolik lovers lost eden#lost eden
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The Knight and her Snake Lord: The knight's return.
[Leviathan Route]
Message: My writing is a bit rusty and so as I haven't write properly in a while. So, i hope you guys like this and enjoyed my MC x Levi story.
IzBa, a young lady who has been staying in Devildom for a few years at this point, had made her way home after the events took place back in the past. She realized that a year or so had passed after her disappearance while her adventure in the past made her believe that it was longer than that. She saw the worry on everyone's faces when she was found awake back in her bed with her hair got longer.
Weeks have passed since her reappearance. Throughout the period, everyone has been clinging to her and hanging out with her whenever they can. She understands that they're looking out for her, but it becomes a bit suffocating as Lucifer starts to be around her more too.
"Alright! You all need to stop following me around as it is embarrassing and rather irritating!" She sternly said to them while keeping her calm demeanor. She sighed and took off her mask for a bit before looking at her companions, excluding Barbatos and Solomon. "I do believe what you all are doing is out of concern, and I am flattered, but it is getting a bit suffocating. Even Annabelle and Orion gave me space."
She wears her mask back and stares at them with a serious look, though hard to detect due to the mask design. "Also, Diavolo, Barbatos will not appreciate you going around in such a manner. Go back to your duties while the rest of you go back to your classes or your routines. I will not repeat this again!" She warned them before walking away to get to her next class.
Night came, and she realized that Leviathan hadn't talked much to her ever since her reappearance. However, he was the one who embraced her tightly first when he saw her in bed. After that, he somewhat became quiet and distant ever since the others got closer to her. Each time she approaches him, he will run away. This upsets her. So, she decided to take a bit of a night to herself.
She lay on her bed and read through her book before deciding to pull out her phone. She was hesitant but decided to call Leviathan to see what was happening, but he didn't answer. So, she determined to see him at R.A.D and discuss things with him the next day.
Morning came, and the maiden woke from her slumber and decided to prepare herself for the academy. She petted her familiar cat, Orion's head before going to take a bath. After her warm bath, she wore her uniform and her mask first before doing her hair. As she stood still and planned her day, Orion woke up and stretched his body before jumping off the bed to lean onto her leg and rubbing his head against her. "Aren't you excited about going to that academy today, Belle? Usually, Anna will wake you up. Not that you need her to do so anyway."
"Well... I want to talk to him."
"Ah... That snake boy. I wonder when he's going to talk to you." Orion changed into his human form and onto the bed with his arms crossed. IzBa just raised a brow, as if he could see, but Orion knows her thoughts, at her familiar as to wanting to know what he meant by that. Orion just grinned at her and shrugged before lying on her bed casually. The lady just rolled her eyes and brushed her hair in front of her mirror.
'Okay... Today, I'll be making my move. Should I wait for him to do it? But, he's too shy. Which makes it more difficult.' She thought to herself nervously as she brushed her hair and finally made her hair before going out of her room. She noticed a figure around the corner as if it had been there waiting for her before disappearing. IzBa just looked in that direction before going downstairs to have breakfast with the brothers.
At R.A.D, IzBa has been busy with classes, but at the same time, wanting to search for her partner. She just sighed as whenever classes ended, he would disappear in an instant. She has been wandering the academy to find the Avatar of Envy, and she has to ask other demons to find his whereabouts. She's determined to find him throughout the lessons but at the end of the the school period, she hasn't found him yet.
She sat at her desk quietly after others had left while she did her note. As she packed up her things and was about to leave, the door slammed open, almost hit her, and revealed it to be Leviathan. Before he could run away, IzBa quickly pulled him into the class and locked the door. The man was shaken by her and turned red as he didn't know what to do or say.
"I don't know what's happening, bu-"
"No! W-wait. Umm... Don't say it. I know what you're about to say. I... was trying to adjust myself around you. I-I was- I mean! You've been gone, Belle! For... forever! I guess. That is how I feel." Leviathan raised a hand to her as he looked at IzBa before looking away in embarrassment. As the lady looks at him, she notices the dark circles under his eyes and red eyes as if he's been crying. She just stood at her position silently as she wanted to hear more.
"I want to act like how we were before, but now, I am scared and... uncomfortable. I couldn't even enjoy the things I usually do when you're gone. To take off my mind of... you. They reminded me of you so much and I hate it! My brothers did their best to comfort me, but it made me more angry and annoyed!" He angrily said as his hands grabbed onto his hair and he started to breathe heavily. IzBa wanted to get closer to him, but he distanced himself as he regained his composure and she noticed that he was tearing up.
"I-I feel like destroying this place so I could get to you again. I want to tear up the human word to find you. I want to be with you again, but you're not there or here!" He let out a laugh as IzBa just watched him calmly, listening to his pouring emotions.
"You were not everywhere! My brothers and others did their best to calm me down, but I ended up hurting Luke, accidentally. I guess... I remember how affectionate you were with him that I hurt him. Though, the others stopped me in time and Luke just suffered a dislocated wrist." He chuckled as his tears streaming down his cheeks. He looked at IzBa with a saddened smile and rubbed his nape as he averted his eyes from the lady's gaze.
"I was ashamed. I knew you would be furious if you knew what I did. I hid in my room for a while as I didn't want to hurt others while being in an unstable state I was. I was a mess. Anxious about what happened to you. Depressed that you're not with me. I am happy that my brothers were there to comfort me and I felt a bit... okay? I guess. Eventually." The taller demon took a few steps as he got closer to her before grabbing her arms and leaning down to rest his head on her shoulder.
"I hyped myself this morning. Just to talk with you, but I was a coward and ran. It was awkward that breakfast. I wanted to have a more... happy reunion, but seeing you after a while, I-I can't help but feel anxious and- I don't know... My emotions are so scrambled that I avoided you. It upset me, but I know you're more upset with me as... I am your player 1. I was so scared of facing you and I missed you so much!" Leviathan sighed heavily and sniffled a bit. The young lady wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. Comforting him and wanting to feel his warmth after a while. Her Leviathan. She heaved a breath of relief as she thought he hated her or something and she missed him too.
Levi pulled away, held her cheeks in his hands and caressed her with his thumb. He looked at her with a yearning and serious expression. "I missed you. I want you. I love you, Belle. Promise you won't disappear again. Promise you won't leave me again, Isabelle. Please... don't leave me again." His voiced cracked as he cried while hold her.
IzBa looked at him with a soft smile and held his face, wiping his tears and sighing softly. "My apologies, Leviathan. For making you upset. To make you worry. I'm sorry for making you scared and alone. There's no day that I didn't think of you. I was worried and missing you too, my huge snake." She pulled him to rest his forehead against hers and let out a chuckle. She looked into his eyes and hushes him as a way for her to calm him down.
"To make it up to you, I will do anything you want. At least that I should do for making you feel at your lowest. And, I want to spend time with you again." Isabelle looked at him with a loving look and kissed his cheek. Leviathan quickly pulled away and let her go as he held his cheek with his face redden.
"N-Not fair! You're cheating!" The demon yelled out and looked at her with an annoyed look before looking away with a pout. Isabelle just chuckled before she thought of something. She turned a bit red before looking at him with a determined look.
"Levi!" Isabelle softly said his name before grabbing his face with one hand and pulled him into a kiss. This caught the demon off guard as it was unexpected and he was not ready mentally as he turned red furiously. She held him down and after a few seconds, the two calmed down and finally shared a soft and gentle kiss in tha empty classroom. Leviathan held her waist to pull her closer as he started to enjoy her lips against his.
Later that day, IzBa finished changing out from her academy uniform and sat on her bed. Orion, in his cat form, looks at her and went onto her lap to continue his nap. IzBa just let him be before gasping loudly as she remembering the kiss she had with Levi. She turned red as it made her embarrassed and ashamed on how they share their kiss after awhile.
At same time, Leviathan was changing and midway of it, the scene of him and Isabelle kissing in the classroom crashed into his mind and made him screamed in embarrassment and irritation in his room as their kiss shouldn't be taken after he poured his heart out. So unromantic of him. Not a kind of scene he want to have. He was hoping that it should be like in otome games or something. This would make him more embarrassed than ever.
( ￣ー￣)
Bearly notes: I was playing around with the idea that IzBa, my MC, and Leviathan finally share a kiss after she got back from the past, OM! Nightbringer, which is funny now that I think of it... Their 'first kiss' was when IzBa kissed him through a mask she was wearing AHAHAHAHAHA
#mbearlytoon#mbearlytoon om!#om! leviathan#obey me leviathan#obey me mc#obey me#mc x leviathan#digital art#oc art#obey me art
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this might be too angsty 😭
but can you do one where the reader has chronic anxiety and is literally house bound most of the time because of how bad it gets and johnnie just helps them through it
୨୧ brittle breathes ୨୧
pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader
warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ panic attacks, extreme anxiety
summary: ʚ reader’s chronic anxiety binds them to their house but Johnnie is able to save them ɞ
Words: 1452
An: sorry it's taking me so long to write i can't help it lol
Every day has felt the same to you. You wake up and immediately doom scroll on your phone. Your brain is hyper-fixating on every bad comment you receive. You eventually get off Twitter and turn on YouTube. The torment doesn't end there.
You turn on someone who has consistent uploads, better looking than you, and overall is just better at your job. You feel so sick. Constantly nausea, your hands and feet are freezing, and your brain seems like you mushed it into pieces.
It had been weeks since you had last uploaded on your channel. It wasn't so bad at first. You felt less anxious at home so you just stayed in more. Unfortunately, it has its talons in you. You could never leave the house anymore.
You were sitting on the couch in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You hadn't gotten ready in weeks either, posting the occasional post on your Instagram story of something random.
It wasn't like your fans hadn't noticed, hell everyone in your life had noticed. Your boyfriend Johnnie had asked what was going on with you lately, and he saw it. Of course, he saw it. The light in your eyes slowly dimmed.
The way you wouldn't do anything anymore. Your interest didn't excite you anymore, you never ate anymore, and the most worrying thing was you'd stopped hanging out with him.
He knew how hard anxiety could be on a person and how he wanted to help but he also knew how fragile people can be in this head space.
You had dried tears staining your cheeks as you scrolled through Twitter. You were looking at any tweet with your name involved in it. You were just a sad little lump on the couch. It was pathetic really.
Your heart jumped as a notification went through that Johnnie started a live stream on Twitch. You had forgotten he was going to stream tonight. You clicked on it saying hi in chat.
“Ahh fuck my settings are all messed up hold on guys,” Johnnie mumbled moving closer to his screen and clicking around. You giggle watching his fans say hi to you in chat. “Alright sorry guys,” he says, sitting up and looking at the chat.
“Wait, is y/n in chat? A bunch of people are saying hi,” he says looking at the chat zoom bye. You smile to yourself already feeling calmer just by listening to his voice. “Yes, I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” you type in the chat. You watch him read the chat and smile to himself.
He hides his blush by putting his hand over his mouth. The whole interaction made you giggle. He was the only thing that ever made you feel good anymore. You knew that wasn't healthy but you couldn't help it. You texted a black heart emoji to Johnnie.
You sat and watched the stream for a bit longer at some point while Johnnie stopped for a second to respond to your text. ‘Love you nerd’ he said with a heart emoji as well. He smiled down at his phone before realizing he was still streaming and had to keep them entertained.
He came to a slow point in his stream so he looked over at his chat. “Why isn't y/n posting?” he asked, reading a fan’s words. Your heart skipped a beat. “Um, they are just having a hard time right now. They will be back soon though don't worry,” he answers, it was a true statement.
It just stung that your fans were reaching out to him about you. Johnnie would never make you feel guilty about this of course he understood, it's just you felt like such a burden on him because of this.
You snapped back into reality, Johnnie had continued his stream and the chat slowly moved on from the topic. You had to do something about this. It was consuming your life.
You swiped away from Twitch and pulled up your messages with Johnnie. ‘Can you come over after the stream?’ you asked. If you were going to get out of this you were going to need help to do it. You had the stream pulled back up again.
Johnnie was looking down at your phone. ‘I will get an Uber right now.’ was a text Johnnie sent you. You sat up reading the message on the top of your screen. “Hey guys I'm actually going to have to end stream early,” he said looking up from his phone.
You watched the chat as they started to freak out at the sudden end. Well, this wasn't how you wanted things to go. “Everything is ok. I just realized I have something to do.” he murmurs closing all the tabs on his computer going to full screen.
You turn the stream off, your heart pounding. Guilt flooding your veins. You stood up only worsening your dizzy state. You fumbled into the kitchen grabbing a glass of water. You failed, however.
You never made it to the sink. Your brain is racing and your mind is melting. A panic attack flows over your bones and into your soul. Your phone is lost somewhere you don't remember.
Your breath in rapid paces as you can't make anything out. The lack of oxygen fuels your state. Tears start to pool out of your eyes, you start to sob. The crying mixed with the rapid breath causes you to lose all the air you had.
You can't breathe anymore. Any semblance of being able to return to normal is gone. You fall onto your hands and knees scratching at your throat in immense panic. You try to scream or kick or anything that can save you.
You don't even hear when Johnnie uses the key you gave him to enter your home. Finding you thrashing on your kitchen floor, tears falling from your eyes. “Y/n?” he yells dropping to the floor with you.
“What's wrong?” he yells trying to see your face. He manages to grab the side of your face and hold it up. “Can't… breathe,” you mumble, your face starting to lose color.
“You're ok,” he says looking at you. He isn't able to say it with much conviction. His words betrayed his face as it flooded with worry. You try and fail to return your breathing to normal. Johnnie sees you struggle.
“Try and follow mine,” he says, unsure of how to help you. You nod your head trying to listen to his breathing. It wasn't any use if you couldn't hear him properly. You hold your hand on his chest, you can feel his exhale and inhale. You could feel his lungs fill with air.
You tried your best to mimic him. Closing your eyes eventually works. Eventually, you feel your worry melt away, like snow when the weather warms up. It leaves and melts from your body.
Your body relaxes and the tension falls. Johnnie watches as you slowly return back to normal. He brings his hand up to your face and holds you close. You lean into his touch. Your body is slouching.
He wraps his arms around you, holding your body up. “Johnnie?” you ask quietly. The tiredness ebs its way into your body. “Yeah? I'm here. I'm here.” he says slowly. “I need your help. Or someone's I'm not sure. I don't think I can trust anyone else with this.” you whispered to him.
“What's wrong? What can I do?” he asks, moving the hair that fell into your face away. “I have been rotted away by anxiety. I can't leave my house, I can't eat, I cannot do anything anymore. I haven't posted in god knows how long.” you cry standing up and away from him.
He sits up to watch you pace through your apartment. “I can't eat or sleep or talk to anyone without my entire world collapsing. Which isn't helping, it's just making me more anxious.” you cry, pulling at the sides of your face in frustration.
“What can I do? How can I help you?” he asks while walking up to you. You stop your pacing, before abruptly pulling him into a hug. “I need to start seeing a therapist or something else, I need you to help me,” you whispered into his ear.
He pulls away, only a little, to see your face. “We can do that for you. I'm sure it's going to get better if you start slowly, ok?” he whispers back. You smile at him sweetly.
It was going to be hard but little by little you were going to take your life back. You were going to be able to do it with Johnnie.
#jake and johnnie#johnnie guilbert#johnnie guilbert fluff#johnnie guilbert x reader#johnnie guilbert x you#johnnie x you#johnnie x reader#johnnie guilbert angst#johnnie
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erendis sketch (kind of, it has some colour)
The scene where erendis gives aldarion the bough of oiolairë is one of my favourite sections of the tale.
A lot of quotes and thoughts under the cut, spoilers for some of Aldarion and Erendis, you have been warned, this is long!!
The oiolairë is a really interesting númenórean custom, in 'Aldarion and Erendis' it says,
'Here must be told of the custom that when a ship departed from Númenor over the great sea to Middle-earth a woman, most often of the captain's kin, should set upon the vessel's prow the Green Bough of Return; and that was cut from the tree oiolairë, that signifies 'Ever-summer', which the Eldar gave to the Númenóreans, saying that they set it upon their own ships in token of friendship with Ossë and Uinen. The leaves of evergreen, glossy and fragrant; and it throve upon sea-air'.
At this point in the story Aldarion and his father Meneldur have fought over to Aldarion's voyaging when, as the heir, his father thinks he should be taking more interest in his own people.
'Meneldur forbade the Queen and the sisters of Aldarion to bear tbe bough of oiolairë to Rómenna where lay the Palarran, saying that he refused his blessing to his son'
In response Aldarion says,'If I must go without blessing or bough, then so I will go'.
The blessing and the bough are linked, the favour of the king and the friendship of Ossë and Uinen who calms the sea, as well as a token of safe return. In Numenor Uinen was particularly honoured for saving the ships so you can see why the Queen doesn't want Aldarion to leave without the branch.
After this, Erendis says that she will bring the branch and delivers it as the ship is preparing to leave, 'little though she loved the noise and bustle of the great harbour and the crying of the gulls'.
This is the point when Aldarion falls in love with Erendis so it is clearly an important moment but I think it goes a little deeper than that.
Throughout the tale there's a clear split in what the pair value, the sea and the land, the ships and the woods, and this is one of the few moments where these opposite priorities co-exist. Erendis delivers a branch which thrives on sea-air, a tree as a symbol of friendship with the sea but also of a safe return! This little moment, to me, shows how their relationship could have developed if they were both willing to compromise.
I also find it interesting how the bough is a token of friendship with Uinen, when Erendis later declares Uinen as her enemy.
'I am no daughter of Uinen: rather is she my foe.'
There is also a neat parallel with the elven birds and the tree they receive as gifts from the eldar at their wedding. All of these originate with the elves, can be used to symbolise their love and each one changes in meaning for them as their relationship breaks down.
Focusing on the oiolairë, after Aldarion decides to leave again (and I could talk for ages on their conversation before he leaves!!) Erendis sets the branch of oiolairë but hides her tears until the ship is gone.
On this trip Aldarion is gone for longer than expected as the haven at Vinyalonde is destroyed and he has to rebuild and on the journey home he is swept off-course, to the north. When Aldarion finally sees Numenor again he notices that the oiolairë has withered in the cold.
Ominous! For such a symbolic branch to die can't help the overall feeling in Numenor at this point that Aldarion is doing something wrong!
'the Venturers were fallen out of esteem; for men thought that he had treated Erendis ill.'
After their wedding, eight years after his last voyage and with their daughter not even four years old, Aldarion sets off again but promises to return in two years. This time, Erendis does not set the branch on his ship or send one, the wife of Aldarion's captain does it instead.
This seems to be the point where Erendis gives up on him, dismissing the elven birds (I could talk about that as well but i will resist) and she leaves to live in her home in the centre of Numenor, far from the sea. When Aldarion does not return after the promised two years she stays there and when he does eventually get back he finds his house empty.
When Aldarion becomes king he journeys to Middle-earth again but, 'It is recorded that upon the prow of Hirilonde he set no bough of oiolairë, but the image of an eagle with golden beak and jewelled eyes, which was the gift of Cirdan.'
Every important voyage Aldarion takes mentions the branch of oiolairë, which is enough to show its significance, but its connection with Numenor as well as the elves and the maiar and how it symbolises Aldarion and Erendis' relationship makes it a really interesting piece of the story.
#aldarion and erendis#erendis#unfinished tales#aldarion#this got long#I could go on way longer about this story though#it's so good people need to know
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tatimaxxing (something big just happened to me but i can't talk about it on this blog because ive posted face)
#my friend's in the hospital again so i spent 20 on an uber with my other friend to go see her#but by the time we got there visiting hours were over 😭#so we just had dinner at the park#and i told her about The Big Terrible Thing for the first time#straight through without embellishment! yay! i think at least#because ive retold the story in so many different ways that im not actually sure what happened anymore#she was like super chill about it though!! and was like im really impressed that you actively made an effort to not be [REDACTED]#not really what she said more like Making An Effort to No Longer [Redacted]#redacted as an action not as a noun blah blah you know#and she told me about how shes faced discrimination at our super homogeneously chinese church which i feel REALLY BAD ABOUT BUT I DON'T KNOW#HOW TO EXPRESS IT TO HER OR WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT 😭😭😭😭 GIRL HELP#im being so useless and chinese about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i don't know how to talk to people about things that matter#and idk like ok v non-tatimaxxing of me to say but ive been so self centered and going Wahhh these normies will never experience my#Deep Secret Emotions unlockable only by spending too much time on tumblr as a child#on the other hand i feel like once this has gotten out of the way i don't really have an excuse for not connecting with my church friends#yknow. like i don't have to hide this from them any more#they're great people!! and they're going through so much and I need to be there for them but I couldn't even get tothe stupidhospital on tim#not cry typing just ran out of space#anyway I wish I could care more about them I wish I could make genuine connections without having to lie to feel some sort of weird#rush of power over them because I know the truth and they don't when I lie so much I don't even know what the truth is#I've been putting my face on here more lately because I want to be genuine and I want to not hide things#but idk if it'll work I think it might just make me unemployable 😭😭😭#cc diary
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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there’s got to be a faster way to play this game but How
#not that I don't absolutely love meandering my way around this world and chatting to all the NPCs#but I want to start octopath traveller ii when I still have time and before there are too many spoilers floating around#and I can't DO that when I'm barely even halfway through the first one#at this rate it's going to be years before I finish...#which is fine but like also. I want to Know What Happens#I could do this by just looking up the stories sure but I want to PLAY IT#but I want to play it faster >:(#<- says the person who learned you can fast-travel between taverns somewhere around hour 60 or so yet has refused to do so#‘~60.5 hours for the main game and maaaaaybe 100-ish for completionists’ BUT WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE BAD AT FIGHTING#WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO NEED TO TRAVEL ON FOOT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO WEAK TO MISS OUT ON ANY EXPERIENCE#WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO FORGET WHERE ALL THE HIDDEN CHESTS AND SIDE QUESTS ARE AND HAVE TO RE-FIND THEM EVERY TIME#all these side quests are haunting me...yes this name sounds familiar no I do not know from when or where#good luck finding your lost lover sir#I'm pretty sure I've met her like 4 times but I can't remember where she is#and because I hit A too fast you will no longer tell me her name :/#could I simply look up this information? yes. but I want to bumble around authentically as much as possible like with botw#‘IS THERE A FASTER WAY TO DO THIS!!’ I scream while doing everything as slowly and inefficiently as possible#cheese plays octopath traveller#<- unlikely to be used more than once but Who Knows#I'm glad I actually got to play video games today though even if it didn't quite hit the level of enjoyment i was hoping for#two unexpected days of in a row man I never want to go back to work#but I also don't want to exist in my own head forever doing nothing#I don't want to move forward. but I also don't want to stay here#do you see the Dilemma#anyways time to go train h'aanit on the way back to whoever the heck's chapter 3 I was supposed to be getting to#while training for tressa's chapter 3 that I put on the backburner years ago because the boss was too hard#I LIKE to think our posse is strong enough to take it now but I feel like I keep disproportionately training certain people over others#it's so much harder to keep everyone on relatively equal footing in this game than in pokemon :(#Primrose my first ever companion how I miss thee </3 I'm sorry I so rarely need to use your skills for anything
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so long, cruel world—
#really really really long rambling in the tags about… stuff… coming up so… take warning!!!!#fr though now that i’m done with the dai…megu(?) event story i no longer know what to do with the rest of my time in quarantine help#maybe i’ll speedrun through the rest of the mona manga or something. yeah. that could work.#maaaan i’m boreddd lmaoooooooooooo#i should’ve brought my type aizo/yujiro julieta cds along… then i could’ve at least laughed at their terribad dances on the dvd#but it would’ve been awkward to ‘explain’ the dvds away at the bag checks… hmmmmmmm#well in any case. i just really miss eating beef and pork. they serve chicken with every meal here#but to their credit they’ve been cooking the chicken in different ways practically each and every time while adhering to my preferences#kudos to the catering team. really. even though they serve suspicious fruit at some times and questionable cake at others…#at this point i’m literally just vibing till they release me from quarantine. i have absolutely no symptoms aside from the residual cough…#still postive though… so oh well. i’ll just enjoy(?) this staycation(???) while it lasts…#it’s funny… i’ve considered going on a staycation just for the sake of holing myself up in a hotel room to work on my tls…#who knew that it’d end up coming true… albeit in the worst possible way lmfaoooooo#oh wells! on another note if you wanna screech about frusu and ft4 (esp wrt the latest mona manga chapter and the dai event) hmu👀👀👀👀#also lmao i’m now trying to compile a masterpost of my ft4 tls and it’s… quite minimal actually#does ft4 really have such little content or am i just not very productive lmfaoooooo#wake me up when the ft4 novel drops👀👀👀#to think that the ft4 filmxlive interview was the first thing i ever tled… how time flies…#inedible blubbering
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I hate raiders, mostly the hardcore's bc they're just cunts, but whenever they are in tune with looking at the game from a gameplay perspective (not just looking at logs), everything they have to report is shit I can feel even as a casual though I can't explain it as in depth as they can; and I have to agree it feels like the devs have forgotten how to make and balance a game in the last 3 years, as much as most players themselves suck at understanding and playing the fucking game (and how poor the game's learning tools and mentors are as well) since it's seen as a vehicle for story cutscenes or mashing buttons
If the gameplay keeps going dumber across the board that would take away the last legitimate reason I have to play it and surprisingly I don't like the thought of that conversation with myself
#my attitude is like half a toe in the raider mindset and half the toe in casual i can't commit to either bc i dont like either enough#but if you have a brain and have been playing as long as i have or longer its so obv we are downhill rn#Stormblood was the last time the entire game as a game felt engaging for a majority of time#ive been kinda lucky as a DRG main bc they haven't butchered it as much as others but idk how long that will last every patch#and the healing situation the last 3 years is fucking ground zero Chernobyl elephant's foot#anyone who had / has followed me long enough knew / knows i already feel this game sucks but if you make the Game part worse#then it'll Fucking Suck in a way where i don't think i could say I Hate It But I Like It anymore#it feels weird being someone who came in when Stormblood was Brand New bc i was there for all of it when the story sucked not the gameplay#then being here since is like watching the story have a seizure and the gameplay crashes into a fucking cliff outside of a few#DRGs are workhorses so if we go down too w these rework trends idk man... we're traditionally the burst#concerning to me that other classes are also revolving around bursts now plus shittier braindead buttons#homogenization sucks#i will say though im glad the frequency of LOLDRG jokes has gone down these few years bc it was never funny#its been used way too much to target and harass every DRG or if you made even one mistake- got called a lot of slurs & things bc of it#one last thing you may say There's More Than Fighting Here Wtf Are You Bitching About-#the main function of the game IS fighting it has ALWAYS been fighting its the main interface by which you play its why DF & MSQ are tied#combat is integrated into quests into dungeons into raiding into socializing into the MSQ etc whatever isn't fighting is subordinate#so yes if the combat system gets worse then that's a huge chunk of the game now shit- its not a visual novel go play a VN if you want that#now if you say the only reason i still play is bc i wanna eat Yugiri out then- *Squidward running meme*
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#just randomly thinking about how relatable La La Land is to me#getting to know your soulmate and not being able to make things work#and somehow still loving them in spite of...#well in spite of the distance and time and so many other factors#and how loving them hurts but at the same time makes you happy#and how you'd live your story with them all over again even if it ends the same way#especially if it ends the same way because that'd probably make you enjoy things more make days longer and conversations last a bit more#and make more memories that could help you go through the loneliness of knowing they exist but just not in your world anymore#those certain moments in the day when you remember a specific conversation or when a song plays and you think of them#and how somehow you still dream about them or have conversations in your mind and plan what you'll say when you meet them again#even though you know you'll never meet again#but what happens if you do? if for some reason the world turns around and you're in front of each other again?#what happens if your lives are different if you are different?#would time stop in a song? and then move on?#I guess I'm just loving tonight#random#personal#my shitty English#I want to write now
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The Other Woman
(Part 2 FINALE)
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Synopsis: Miguel had left Y/N for another version of his old wife in hopes of getting his old life back. To only realize the mistakes he’s made.
Link to Part 1
Pair: Miguel O’Hara x Spider!reader
Warnings: very heavy mental health, ANGST LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, ALL OF THIS IS ANGST, mentions of death/almost dying, long term establish relationship, cheating, swearing, therapy, physical fight, blood, feral protective miguel?
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A/N: hello again! this one is more heartbreaking and longer than the first part oof… Very low dialog up until closer towards the end! wanted to just get through telling the story itself and the emotions. It’s just a very heavy storyline!! I want to say thank you so so much for showing so much support for part 1 i had no idea it would receive that much attention :O !! i wrote this out kinda fast as i didn’t want to loose the momentum of the idea. so apologies for any mistakes! all feedback is greatly appreciated ~
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You used to make Miguel coffee everyday, with one cream two sugars, and he would nag about how he hated the taste. It was to your liking, not his. As you would sneakily take sips out of his mug while working next to him. Why didn’t you just get your own coffee? You claimed you could never finish it and just wanted a taste out of his. Miguel would roll his eyes at you every time he caught you but he adored it. He had secretly grown to love the way you made it and had become his only way of making coffee after meeting you.
Now as this version of his older wife made it the way he is suppose to like coffee, bland and straight, he found himself bothered by it. Going as far to correct her even though this was what he had been claiming to have missed so much. He was now seeing himself teaching someone else how to love him like you did…
He was only a shell of the man he was when he had Gabriella. Even though the copy of his old wife has her same personality, the relationship couldn’t be exactly how it was before because he had changed so much. You had helped him become whole again. His tastes and likings had all switched to everything about you. The charm he found in his old wife doesn’t hold a light to you now and he was getting frustrated. He had wanted this so badly. He felt like those babies who whine and cry wanting to eat a lemon and once they get their way they realize the sour truth.
Miguel never truly realized what it was like to loose you until three weeks after he told you the truth. Over the years the idea of losing you terrified him but he only ever thought of it being in death. He never considered separation when everything was perfect for both of you then. There were times he believed that you were made just for him and he treated you like his queen. Which you truly were to him in his spider society. Why would he ever throw that away? Look at what he did.
He gave himself every excuse in the book before you knew he was cheating on you. ‘This is only for research.’ he would think every time he found himself back in that universe. As everyone knew he was so serious about his work, obviously this is just him getting to know more about certain universes and canons. Lyla was the only one seeing straight through him knowing where he was actually going. Things kept tumbling and the more he found out about the place and spent time with her the more his grief and yearning returned. It was all just there, so reachable.
There was a time his mind tried to snap him back out of it while cheating on you and made him realize the guilt. The first time he kissed this woman you were there in his mind. He came home right after and held you without saying a word. You never questioned him, just showed him comfort as much as you could. Lightly stroking his back, you never over stepped or pushed him when he was vulnerable with you. He only closed his eyes and held onto you tighter processing how you were always too good for him. He was converting to living two different lives; his old self during the day and then coming home to you. He didn’t want to let go of either at the time.
Once he found out he could safely have Gabriella again was when he became distant with you. The shame of using you for research made him become stoic. He didn’t want to admit how wrong he was treating you. All while you were always being so loyal and trusting towards him. Things were slowly slipping through the cracks and he knew he couldn’t up keep it. He wished he could have had that conversation with you so much differently but it was over. Now he had his old life back, a dream he had his mind set on.
He ignored the shakiness in his hands when he returned to her after letting you go. ‘It’s all for the best.’ is what he would repeat in his mind as a mantra. His new girlfriend truly had no idea who he really was or what his background was. Miguel continued to feed her lies to the point where he even started believing them himself getting too lost in avoiding what he’s done. He believed he was happy as he spent time with her.
When she got too close to finding the truth after finding his wedding ring in one of his pockets, he set her off course from it by revealing his spider identity and taking her to HQ. This was the day that everything felt like it was crashing around him. Being reminded of his marriage, having to face his friends with his new lover, sharing his personal spider life, his work with someone who wasn’t you. He excused himself rushing to an unused office room while his chest was tightening. Pupils dilating as he realized it was his first time having a panic attack.
Nevertheless he continued to push it all aside and act completely normal with his girlfriend. He was feeling your absence the most while working. You had became an extension of him. He had trained you from scratch and you helped him build this society he has now. You knew the ins and outs of everything and fought perfectly alongside him. Now that he was on his own he let his girlfriend be there for him when he got stressed, but there always was a knot in his stomach he never could get rid of.
The more his mental health ate at him late at night the more he considered searching out for you. There was no closure between both of you and he never got to listen to how you feel. What was your opinion on all that happened? Do you hate him?
He wanted to speak with someone so badly but he dug himself in a hole too deep. You were gone, he was lying through his teeth to this poor woman he’s kept for some fantasy, he felt too ashamed to say anything to his friends, he would rather die if all his workers found out how big of a piece of shit he is. Anytime Lyla tried peeping a word that wasn’t work related he would snap. He had pushed everyone away and now he just felt alone.
Regardless he would wake up in the morning and swallow all his dark feelings. He would remember his grief of when he lost his family and it would put him back in the moment. He has another chance. He was happy with the direction he was going in now.
Right?
—
The day he found out you were at HQ he felt his heart stop. He was mid mission trying to call for Lyla but she wouldn’t answer. Frustrated he tried looking into what was happening only to see her busy having a conversation with you. It felt like something took over him when he opened a portal in less than a second. Without thinking nor wasting a heartbeat he rushed back. Just a glimpse of you, maybe just to hear a word out of your mouth. The feeling of having you back in HQ was making him ignore all his insecurities. How he would coward at the thought of trying to reach out to you before. You were in his home, your home, and the thought drove him wild.
You were already long gone though. Lyla stared at him not saying a word. The quietness in the room making his ears ring but his thoughts were screaming in his head. He stood there frozen still trying to recollect himself. He was the one that left you, what is wrong with him?
Again he went back and forth in his own head trying to convince himself ‘You wanted this.’ but if he did why is he feeling like someone just killed a puppy in front of him? Why is he here fighting with his self if this is really his dream? Why did he try chasing after you? The wounds of his past grief were too deep. He never took the time to properly heal and now look at what he’s become.
“Miguel, what’s this?” He was startled turning around seeing his girlfriend holidng your watch and skimming through the divorce paperwork addressed to him.
There was no more hiding, no more lying. He swallowed hard even though his throat was dry. He let everything he had kept away rise to surface. It hurt him to see the beautiful face his old wife shared contort into such anger and pain while finding the truth.
She didn’t stay, but for some reason he wasn’t upset. Though he longed for his daughter, he knew it would have never been the same now. He finally closed the door on his past. His heart had made the choice this time but it’s too late. Now grasping onto the divorce papers left by you, emptiness spread through his soul.
—
You on the other hand did not find yourself crying by yourself on a rooftop for long. The shift in the air from your arrival alerted the local spider-man immediately.
“It didn’t work out, did it?” He crouched down next to you as he noticed your watch gone and your missing wedding band.
Peter Parker knew both you and Miguel. Your husband had come to do many rounds of research in this universe when he took you. Eventually offering this Peter a spot in the society, which he politely declined due to just being busy enough here. You both never spoke much but always had an appreciation for each other.
“Do you need a place to crash at?” He continued while trying to get you to look at him. Reaching his hand towards you.
You had absolutely no one and you had been gone so long you couldn’t even go back to the little you had. When you met Miguel you didn’t hesitate to never look back and now it filled you with regret. How naive were you to put all your trust and reliance on him.
You took Peter’s hand. You were ready to start your own life and be your own person now.
—
Peter Parker was nice enough to let you stay with him as long as you needed it. You both had became ‘besties!’ as he would love to poke at you. The first month with him you were a disaster really but he showed you how he liked to cope using his spider abilities.
The first thing he helped you with was getting a new suit. Your old one resembled too much to Miguel’s and you felt suffocated every time you put it on. Peter had taught you to use your current emotional pain on whichever sad little villain was making trouble out in Brooklyn that night.
“Come on, we got multiverse spider-woman helping me keep these streets clean now!” He would taunt at the men while watching you easily take them out a little bit too aggressively. His feet kicking up and down while he sat on the side of a building watching you. The crime rate did go down a bit once word got around how strong your punch was. Peter’s just happy he can now spend some nights to himself.
You got yourself a job at the mart on the corner to help cover bills for Peter and save up. You were grateful enough the owners never batted an eye when you would disappear during a shift to either suddenly go cry uncontrollably or beat the shit out of someone at a nearby robbery. Next thing you were enrolling yourself back in university, wanting to finish that degree you never did.
It wasn’t too long that some of your older spider friends would stop by to check in on you. Seeing them was difficult sometimes, you were internally itching to ask about Miguel. Things were going okay for you on a very slow path of breathing step by step. You never wanted to feel that hurt again and so you very well pretend like Miguel didn’t exist if you could.
You couldn’t ignore the hurt resurfacing when you passed couples on the street. Or when you found yourself going to fidget with your wedding ring just to remember it’s gone. You can’t just move on from a relationship that was so deeply apart of you and lasted so long. You gave everything to him and it will take you much time to get yourself to build trust again.
After two semesters, you finally had your graduation. All the things you learned while in Earth-928 paid off as you barley had to study. Passing top of the class, you immediately got an offer for an internship opportunity with Alchemax and was able to get an introduction tour of the building beforehand.
What you hadn’t realized was that Alchemax had been looking for that girl who snuck into their offices a couple years ago. Who made another dimension’s spider appear and then went missing herself soon after. They had kept as close tabs on you as they could and how foolish you were to think your little break in wouldn’t come back to bite you. The moment you stepped foot back in their building, it was over for you.
—
Miguel had spent a whole year in much deserving therapy. Nothing could stop the embarrassment he felt when Peter B signed him up with HQ’s best spider-therapist after 3 months of constant out bursts. No one could come near the man when he felt like he had lost everything. Those first initial months were difficult for everyone around him.
Therapy did help, he hates to admit it, but it was a very rough ride. He finally was able to understand his deep inner term oil and heal his issues but moving on from you? No, he could never.
You were the only one who had sincerely stood by his side, always rooting for him. He never fell out of love with you despite of everything that he did. He just pushed everything down too deep and was blinded by obsession. Till now he could never deny that he still loves you. Maybe if he just would have went to therapy years ago instead of acting out on unsolved grief none of this would have happened. The guilt always making him toss and turn at night.
He would have big temper tantrums when he would find his coworkers going to visit you time to time and not sharing any details. He needed to know if you’re okay. Did you already move on? He longed to find you and speak with you but he knew he wasn’t ready yet. He was so self destructive and this was what he deserved.
Everyone avoided him completely when he overheard someone saying you were living with Peter Parker. Fighting crime with him and having a cute little home life. Peter followed you around now like a puppy. Miguel did not take the news well at all. Let’s just say, the large bill replacement for his monitor screens was what snapped him out of that rage.
He also wanted to strangle Hobie Brown every time he saw a glint in his eye when your name was mentioned around. Yet Miguel couldn’t hate the kid either, as Hobie was one of the people to try help repair the damage he did to you. How badly he just wanted to hold you and shield you in his arms from any other people taking you from him as if he wasn’t the idiot to let you go in the first place.
Everyone’s big, powerful, scary boss was really just a grumpy, wallowing-in-self-pity, sensitive, lonely man now. Mention your name too much to him and watch him start crying or take it out on whatever he could find nearest to him. He would some nights scroll through your wedding photos while listening to your last tracked log with Lyla. Your words cutting through him deep like long sharp knives. How he urged to go tell you it was all wrong and how guilty he was for making you feel like this.
Despite it all, he still believed in being the best of the best. He used his work to distract himself from his sorrows, to become numb. Even though his divorce paperwork were set next to him on his desk to remind him the pain. He never signed it.
—
“We can’t tell him!” Jessica gritted through her teeth. Small group of spider-people were hovered around Lyla taking in the new found information.
“Her canon events have always been uncertain, we can’t just stop and fix this one?” Gwen Stacy suggested in hopes.
“We have never prevented a canon event of hers or the people involved in it. It could be even more dangerous than a regular canon.” Peter B spoke grimly.
“When ‘as danger ever stopped us?” Hobie spoke up.
“Everyone get your gear.” Lyla added to the stress of the situation.
—
You couldn’t open your eyes properly with a strong blinding light being held above you. Arms and legs secured on top of a metal surgical table. You could feel the warmth of blood scattered on certain parts of your body, slowly starting to dry. It was a mix of yours and the people you had tried fighting through to get out of here when you realize the trap you were reeled into. Different people in lab coats poked and pried all around you while you were tied. Your mask was thrown on another table and your suit had large gashes across it.
Soon you also could feel the presence of Peter Parker being brought to the room, thrown slumped in the corner breathing heavily. They had gotten you too good. They knew everything and had planned this so detailed.
“Now you’re going to help me open the multiverse.” Kingpin loomed around you. All you could feel was searing pain as a laser aimed right at your chest.
—
Miguel was already staring out the window to the glowing night lights of Nueva York when he saw a big hole appear in sight of the skyline. His eyebrows furrowed while he was trying to process what he was looking at. It wasn’t a second later when all alarms started going off in his office.
“Qué carajos?” He exclaimed seeing the alerts of a possible universe collapse. “Lyla! Why wasn’t this being taken care of already?”
“I already sent people.”
“Then what are they doing?” He yelled. His confusion and anger only furthered when he saw a red alarm for a canon event.
“Canon event?” He whispered to himself. He always knew when these were happening, there were none scheduled for today. There was no way he would let one passed him, it’s not like this could magically appear? His jaw dropped in realization… a new canon event.
“Lyla, tell me the truth. Why wasn’t this reported to me?” He made the atmosphere turn cold. She knew he already figured it out.
“A new canon event was received this morning being given to Peter Parker. Of Y/N L/N’s death.” The words from Lyla made Miguel’s body go still. His eyes raced side to side while he processed it.
“No!” He roared, a fist slamming into the nearby desk. His massive strength breaking it in half.
“Boss, you can’t go on this mission only using your emotions.” Lyla warned. However Miguel was already half way stepping through a portal to find you.
He appeared, watching his team struggle to shut down the machine causing the collapse. Outnumbered by the amount of Alchemax puppets. A different kind of rage filled him as he saw you, for the first time in a year, suffering. Miguel was never one to act reckless while on missions but he had no plan here and just ran off the pure adrenaline the fight or flight had hit him with.
His claws tore into the backs of his enemies as he jumped beast-like across the room. Not hesitating spilling blood across the wall while he took everyone down as fast as he could. His team could only watch wide eye with an unsettling fear as they saw Miguel lose himself to his spider sense. While he fought they took the opportunity to take apart the machine.
Miguel was panting heavily, pupils blown wide glowing red, and fangs dripping with venom as the room slowly silenced. Kingpin laid on the floor slowly trying to drag himself after being beaten to a pulp. It was over. Peter B stopped him from doing anything further. Knowing Miguel would kill the man, Peter B let the team finish up to give Kingpin to authorities. Miguel turned frantically to look at you seeing the other spiders step away. Peter Parker was hunched over you in tears. Miguel fought the urge to snap at Peter and grab his hands off of you.
Your vision was too blurry and everything felt like it was burning. A shape that seemed too familiar came into your peripheral vision and you tried to push yourself up.
“Miguel?” Was the last thing you croaked before slumping back passing out. Miguel catching you in his arms before you could hurt yourself further.
“It’s her time.” Jessica spoke behind him. Yet he was refusing to let go. He had never defied the way the timeline worked since he created his society. He would never break the rules and you both had promised each other before not to. If there was a situation like this you both agreed to save the universe first. How stupid was he to think he would listen to that now facing it in-front of him.
He never got to tell you what happened. He never got to apologize. He never got to tell you one more time that he loved you. Even if you in result just spat in his face, at least he was able to talk to you one more time. You were never a placeholder or someone to fill a hole in his heart. His whole heart belonged to you and he couldn’t let you go thinking you didn’t mean anything to him. No matter the consequences, he needed to tell you.
“Call all the teams to control the damage of a possible universe collapse.” He turned to Jess with Y/N tightly in his arms. The spider-people watched speechless as he opened a portal and disappeared.
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Two weeks you laid motionless in the HQ’s medbay.
The clean up after breaking the canon was a little intense. They were able to get it under control as the event started to fade from your timeline once you were returned and starting to heal in Earth-928.
The spider society would remain silent near the medbay. The lights always being dimmed and hushed whispers between staff to not bother the distressed O’Hara. He refused to leave.
Your Peter Parker had now joined the team, much to Miguel’s dismay. Everyday your friends would come in and check to see how you were. Some telling stories about their day or any gossip updates you missed, in hopes that it would get you to wake up. They would ignore the gloomy Miguel who was basically glued to the seat next to you not saying a word to anyone.
At night Miguel would play with your fingers and softly stroke your hair all while pleading “Please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me. Por favor mi alma.” He knew it wasn’t his place to beg this after what he did, but he didn’t mind the words falling on deaf ears.
Miguel hadn’t eaten in days, he felt too nauseous from anxiety to even try anything. Pavitr had done the favor to bring you and Miguel’s favorite empanadas from a small street vendor downtown. Hoping to get Miguel to at least try the food before he ended up in a hospital bed next to you due to starvation.
You started to blink open your eyes, spots surrounding your vision. You could hear a soft breathing to your right side and you slowly felt your sense come back one by one. It felt like you just had a really rough nap.
“Oh my god that smells so good.” You moaned, sitting yourself up to try to look at where the smell of food was coming from.
You were met with a wide eyed Miguel holding a box of empanadas. His jaw slacked open acting as if he’s seen a ghost looking at you. Confusion hit you first for a second and then you start to panic.
Why was he here? Why was your ex-husband sitting right here? You started to push away from him and Miguel caught on to your panic.
“No, no, no mi amor stop.” He tried calming you. “You’re hurt, you’re going to open your stitches.”
You suddenly remembered everything that happened right before you blacked out. At that moment you forgot the hurt you had towards your ex-lover. Gathering yourself you just stared at him. “I’m suppose to be dead.”
Tears rimmed your eyes. Why did it feel like life just hated you so much?
Miguel engulfed you in his arms as you started to cry. You didn’t care right now. You had ached for this feeling again, so alone, with the comfort Miguel used to bring you. Just for a moment you could pretend like how it was before.
“We can’t do this Miguel.”
He knew what you were thinking. He didn’t want to let you leave his arms yet, as he let his self hold harder and push your head closer into his the crook of his shoulder. The tickle of your breath on his neck, he just wanted this forever.
“She left. Almost a year ago.” He let out to you. A big weight coming off of his chest. You pulled back from him and looked up into his eyes while you watched him avoid your gaze. You felt bad to say you could feel a bit of satisfaction bubbling in you.
“Good, she deserved better.”
“So did you.” Miguel sighed playing with his hands. Your eyes widened when you saw the ring still on his finger. He let you stare. “I-I could never. I couldn’t.” The emotions struggle to come out of his mouth. You understood him though. You always did. Placing your hand on top of his you just nodded.
“Please stay here.” He whispered.
Miguel had broken you in so many ways. Yet he almost ruined another universe just to keep you alive. You both needed time to talk and coming out a coma right now isn’t good timing.
“I finally became my own person when I went back in my universe. I enjoyed my independence.” The words pelleted at him. He could only hold his breath as he waited for you to continue. “I’ll stay… but not for you.”
It wounded him deeply; but he deserved it. This place will always be a home for you even if he wasn’t apart of it. Before he can tear his gaze and turn away, you reached out to hold his face close to yours. Your fingers gently rubbing on his cheeks as you slowly look at him properly after so long. You let your thumb smooth over his frown lines and he leaned into your touch closing his eyes.
“Let’s give us time.” Was the words you blessed that opened every door of hope he could find. He would take it, he would absolutely take it. He has to fight for you, he has to prove to you. He would do anything but for now he’ll be on his best patiently waiting for you.
Both of you sat comfortably without speaking, only the faint background beeps of the hospital monitor making up for the silence, while passing small glances. For once both of you felt a missing warmth you didn’t realize you needed. Sharing empanadas with each other, just maybe it will be alright…
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The end!!! Thank you so so much for your time in reading my story. i really really was so happy with all the comments and feedback on pt 1 it really meant a lot!!!
i hope this was ok ~ i apologize for how long it was i was thinking of doing another part but just wanted to finish this up. I was in such a conflict how to end this. i hope it wasn’t too cliche or anything i’m just a sucker for very wanty needy dramatic stories. It’s a hopeful ending tho~ i couldn’t pick with just happy or sad.
So many of you had tons of amazing suggestions which I appreciated so much. I was such a mess trying to figure it all out. Many of you wanted to see Y/N move on with another person but I ended up going this route. I used Peter Parker as an obv character in y/n’s universe but it’s not tied to any specific one and you guy can think of him more to your liking if you want to!
If any of you would like a small drabble or imagine of another route of this story or just anything angsty/possessive and rarwrarwbarkbark miguel. I’d be glad to help lol!! My request box is wide open~ i had so much fun writing this!
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