#I can still hear a fucking mosquito what did i do to deserve this
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One of my forms of tinnitus sounds like a mosquito from a moderate distance which is annoying WHEN THERE IS ALSO AN ACTUAL MOSQUITO IN THE ROOM THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND
#tinnitus#stan txt#It's been a very long hour but#WE GOTTEM#also i have like 3 different types of tinnitus idk how worried i should be ab that#I can still hear a fucking mosquito what did i do to deserve this#stan txt tho i wouldn't have been ablw to do this without them
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Smoking by the window
Armin x reader
Disclaimer: reader smokes, actually don’t know if vaping is considered smoking, but you get what I mean. modern au, idk
I wanted to portrait how Armin doesn’t want people to kind of idealize him as this pure boy, who is not able to even kill a mosquito. Who doesn’t ever do bad things on purpose. And how he wants to be abke to be the protector and not the protected.
This is my first post. English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance if there’s any misspelling. Hope you enjoy!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The universe is so big. We’re basically nothing. Little stupid things. Minuscule. It’s kind of a triggering thought, to know you don’t really matter, and that it doesn’t really matter what you do in this world. But then, you can use it as an excuse to do whatever you want, right?
Smoking by the window is a thing now. A thing that I do when I’m overwhelmed, or numb, or bored, or… existing. Even now, that Armin is asleep beside me, I couldn’t help the desire of taking out my vape and use it. It’s two in the morning, the perfect hour. That feeling of nothingness emerged so suddenly, I’m starting to like it at this point. The vapor coming out of my lips is pretty. I look down my side, Armin’s prettier. He looks so peaceful, relaxed. I can’t believe he ended up with someone like me. Someone with a lost future, when he has such a bright one. I inhale, again and again, till getting a little dizzy. I actually have grown really fond of the feeling.
— Honey…? — I hear Armin say, sleepy. He’s trying to open his eyes. — What time is it? —
He sited on the bed, with his beautiful eyes not fully open, tired back, looking at me with a confused face, trying to figure out what was happening. He looked really cute.
— Oh, shit, sorry. Did I wake you up? — I said in a low voice.
— Not exactly… — He made a pause. — What are you doing? —
—Just vaping a little bit, I was about to go back to sleep, anyway. —
He giggled, more awake. — We both know that’s not true. — he said, with that expression he made when he was saying something ‘obvious’. I just smiled at him. — Can I try? —
— What? — I said a little shoked.
He let out a little, soft laugh. — Can I try? — He repeat it, slowly, pointing at the vape in my hands.
— Are you sure? I don’t really want you to, I got to be honest. What if you like it? — I said with a worried tone.
— What if I like it? — He thought there was really nothing totally wrong. Well, maybe he did, I can’t speak for him.
— I don’t want you to like it. —
He didn’t reply, he just left silence. I could tell he was thinking. I get why he would want to try, but no. He can’t go down that path.
— You treat me like I’m a fragile… pure thing. I’m not. I’m a person. — The golden like hair boy said.
— Yeah, and as a person, I don’t want to fuck up yourself. You know I’m not the best influence. —
— Fine. But really, don’t treat me like I don’t do anything wrong, and like you’re gonna spoil me. —
— But, what if I do? — I really resented having such a screwed life.
— Honey…— He got closer to me, taking me in he’s arms. — You won’t, I promise. I love you. —
— I love you more. — I said, looking at him.
We just stayed like that a little longer. I was falling asleep, when he realized and laid my head down, still hugging me. He took the vape from my hands and put it in the nightstand. He was so warm and comfortable to hug. He moved me closer to him, while resting his head, softly, on top of mine. He was holding me like a porcelain doll, with al the caring and welcomeness of the world. Like I was he’s most precious treasure, but still a person to care about.
— You are the one who deserves to be treated like a fragile, not thing. I want to be the one that looks after you and protects you. Please let me. — He said, softly and loving. I just hugged him tighter and, indeed, let him. And for a moment. For that moment, everything stopped feeling so meaningless. Instead of knowing we were all stupid nothings, I genuinely believed that it was just Armin and me in all universe. And that I wasn’t that meaningless either. I was something in Armin’s life, apparently. So I’m gonna make sure I’m a good something for him.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
A really short thingy, but I guess is not that bad for being the first one shot. Anyway, hope you liked it :)
#aot#aot fluff#armin arlert#armin aot#armin x reader#fanfic#fandom#armin fluff#armin x reader fluff#snk#snk armin#snk fluff#one shot#aot oneshots#armin x you#armin imagine#armin x y/n
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“And I'm so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates you.” With porco pls? 💚
porco galliard x “and i’m so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates you”
for olivia rodrigo’s sour prompt event!
“Hey—why the cold shoulder? Aren’t you happy to see me?”
You hear Porco’s footsteps treading behind you, an attempt to catch up after purposefully trying to ignore him when running into him on your way back from class. He’s like a mosquito, you bitterly think to yourself. How is it that this campus is so big, but he seems to be everywhere?
“You dumped me, remember?”
He scoffs at your blunt response, “How could I forget, when everyone on campus hates me for it?”
His comment makes you smile—it probably shouldn’t, but it does. You shouldn't be happy that everyone hates your now-ex-boyfriend, but you find it hard to suppress your grin at the thought of his golden-boy reputation plummeting.
“It feels good for you to be the bad guy y’know?” you admit to him. He’s walking beside you now and why the hell is he talking to you?
“Geez, thanks.”
“I mean, you do deserve it a little bit,” you look at him, hoping he agrees with you. You want him to say that he’s an asshole, that he deserves to be hated. He doesn’t make eye contact with you, though. His stupid hazel eyes stay locked onto the cement of the sidewalk the two of you are occupying, like he’s trying to count his steps and make sure he doesn’t step on any cracks.
You decide to push his buttons a little further.
“I don’t know. It feels good for people to agree with me when I say that you fucked me over,” his eyes perk up at your vulgar language. “And I'm so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates you. I don’t know—makes me feel validated, I guess.”
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” he sympathizes and it surprises you. “I did fuck you over pretty badly, huh?”
A harsh breath comes from your nose, how can he be so annoying while saying such few words?
“If you count dumping me 2 days before our one year anniversary via text as ‘fucking me over pretty badly’ then yes, Porco, I’d agree,” you retort.
His eyes find the sidewalk again, but he keeps matching your pace as he continues to walk beside you.
“You were too good for me anyways,” he mumbles, like he’s embarrassed that a bystander might hear his insecurities, “You deserve someone who will love you right.”
“Well, that could’ve been you, if you let yourself,” falls from your lips before you can control yourself.
He stops in his tracks, expecting you to follow his abrupt action. When you don’t, and keep walking straightforward, he’s jogging behind you once again to catch up.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You have a habit of self-sabotaging everything good in your life,” you shrug, like it’s the most evident observation there is. “Our relationship was great, but you got scared, so you ended it.”
He clicks his tongue on his front teeth out of irritation, “What are you, my therapist?”
“No but you do need one.”
He laughs at that—a real laugh (you don’t know if he meant to or not, but either way, he did). It feels good walking and laughing with him again, even under such weird circumstances.
He surprises you with his next statement. It’s an apology.
“I’m sorry. I wish I could have loved you right.”
You look over at him, his eyes meeting yours. He means it, you’d like to think. His eyes are soft and tender like they always were when it was just the two of you.
“You still can,” you reassure him. “You just have to let yourself.”
#porco galliard#porco x reader#porco galliard x reader#porco angst#porco galliard angst#porco drabble#porco galliard drabble#porco blurb#porco galliard blurb#porco fic#porco galliard fic#L's SOUR event!
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popping in to say i'm sorry to hear that and also your writing is so, so good. i get chills every time i read your work. got any excerpts or tidbits you'd like to share? anything you're especially proud of in past or current works?
wahh thank you so much anon! <3 <3
right now i'm kind of pleased over this little bit in the big bang fic - dean can't say "i love you" to cas, so instead, he asks him if he's ever been to the grand canyon.
Cas’s mouth tilts up sleepily, would be a smile if half of it wasn’t squashed against the pillow. He’d say it now, if he could, the thing that Cas deserves to hear, the thing Dean has never told anybody in his adult life.
Instead, he asks, “Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?”
also i started writing this like 15k pwp (the plot is basically that dean and cas keep having sex in dreams, aka put up your dukes but not as good) but i feel like it'll be ages before i actually finish it so here are the first two scenes (mostly under the cut bc its like 1600 words lmao):
The few times Castiel has been put under by a djinn, he hasn’t felt particularly disturbed by it. Dean flinches when djinn are mentioned. Sam is deeply distressed when the possibility of unreality is discussed. But Castiel is not so committed to this distinction as the Winchesters are.
Yes, undoubtedly, there are things that are real, and things that are, well, unreal. He likes the prefix un-. It implies a sense of reversal; undoing. Something is real, and then made fiction. Fiction, of the Latin fingo: to make. To invent. To create.
Things are, or they are not. If they are not, then they’re nothing — unless they’re something, in which case, they are. So on and so forth. This is to say, a djinn dream must be as real as Dean’s smile: both created and natural at once. Nature, creation, it is. I am that I am. We are.
This must surely be why Castiel is satisfied with being, when it comes to his love for Dean. Isn’t it enough to create? To speak, and to therefore move from nothing to something? From unformed feeling to articulated truth, Castiel has heaved himself down to Earth from out of the sun more times than he can remember. Dean is his lodestone, and Castiel dreams of him often. It is enough.
Sam’s the one to ask him, in the end. Castiel supposes that makes sense. Dean’s always aimed his comfort at Castiel’s shoulders and his stomach, offering back pats and warm meals, as if even his hands can’t meet Castiel’s gaze.
Sam invites Castiel out to the roof of the bunker to look at the sunset, while Dean is out buying supplies for his tune-ups from the 24 hour mechanic shop he likes to visit when the usual customers aren’t around. Castiel knows this because Dean once told him, once said that he liked to go when the guys were just “shootin’ the shit,” so to speak, liked to roll up with Baby and have them look her over and tell him he’s done a good job. Castiel knows he likes the camaraderie of it, likes having men touch his shoulders and slap his ass the way men do, the way Castiel does not.
So Castiel and Sam are on the roof. “It’s beautiful,” Castiel says.
“It’s real,” Sam says, as if in reply.
“Yes,” Castiel agrees. “It’s that, too.”
Sam sighs. His cheek twitches, and he looks at Castiel. His body is so big— that’s what Castiel thinks, whenever he looks at Sam Winchester. So much goodness, in that broad and wiry body— how could anyone beat him down? Castiel’s heart clenches with love for his brother, because that’s what Sam is to him. “You know— you know this is real, right?” Sam asks. “You know it’s not— you’re not— you’re not in the djinn— in the dream anymore.”
“I know.” Perhaps it’s some angelic power, which makes Castiel so certain of his place. “I know where I am.”
“Good. That’s good.” Sam sits back in his chair, then. “Do you— do you wanna talk about what you saw?”
It’s kind of Sam to phrase it that way. Dean would’ve asked him directly. He would’ve said, What did you see? And Castiel would’ve had to tell him.
Maybe that’s why he didn’t ask. In any case, Castiel says, “I’m happy to tell you if you’re curious.”
Sam huffs out a laugh. “Damn,” he says, “you’re well-adjusted.”
Castiel smiles, too. “I don’t have much to hide from you, Sam,” he says. And he thinks of Dean, who surely must know— who must feel the weight of Castiel’s desire every day. Dean sees how careful Castiel is. He sees Castiel’s hesitance to touch him, sees Castiel’s eyes shining when Dean makes dinner for him, and knows the depth of Castiel’s feeling. The depth of Castiel’s feeling drives Dean to the 24 hour mechanic shop whose men can give Dean what Castiel can’t.
But Dean comes home to Castiel, too.
“Okay,” Sam says, “sure. If you’re really okay with it, then yeah, I’d— I’d love to know what an angel dreams about.”
Castiel wonders how to say it. “We had a house,” Castiel starts, “me and Dean.”
It was a small house. Castiel remembers that vividly. It was tall enough to feel comfortable, but with only a single floor. Two bedrooms— their room, and a guest room. Roof access. It was the kind of house where you could bump shoulders with someone in the kitchen easily, the kind of house that built intimacy. Castiel remembers Dean standing in the back door with his coffee, face turned up to the sun, as he did every morning. He was so beautiful. He’d had a smile on his face, an easy and gentle smile. He’d taken a sip of his coffee, and said, glad we started shellin’ out for the good stuff, Cas, because he knew Castiel was behind him. After so long together, Dean could trust that Castiel would always want to watch him in the morning sunlight, freckles coming in across the bridge of his nose. Some days, Castiel would kiss his shoulder, and say, You are who I cherish most in my life. Do you know that? and every time, Dean would say, Yes, sweetheart. I know.
“We were so happy,” Castiel whispers. It’s all he can think to say. He looks at the sunset. Dean will come home in an hour with new parts for the ‘58 in the garage and a spring in his step, and Castiel will say, Welcome home, Dean, and Dean will say, Thanks, man. They will sleep in separate rooms. Dean has no need for the kind of love Castiel dreams of. Dean is already as happy as he will ever be. In his own way, in the way Dean has outlined with his words and his body, Dean has delineated what it is that he wants and what it is he finds unnecessary. Castiel is honored to fit almost entirely into what Dean wants. The only thing he wishes is that he could jettison the remains.
“Did you— did you know you were in a dream?”
“The whole time.”
“And you—” Sam cuts himself off. “Jesus. That’s— wow. Did it, uh… I mean, what did you feel?”
Castiel considers the question. “I think a better way to phrase it is that I knew it… I knew it wasn’t material. That what I was experiencing was a construction. But it’s not… that distinction isn’t meaningful to me, the way it likely is to humans.”
“No shit,” Sam barks, too aggressive to be a laugh. Castiel looks at him. He’s hunched over, knee wiggling. “It’s— it’s important to me to— to— to know what’s real. That means something to me. Being certain about what the truth is.”
“I understand.”
“But I can’t know,” Sam says, and he looks at Castiel. Half-chuckling still, he says, “I think about it every day, but I can’t know. And you do know, but you don’t care. How fucked is that?”
Castiel’s mouth twitches, but he isn’t happy. He knows Sam isn’t either. “I wish I could give you my certainty,” he says, and Sam looks away. “All I can say is that you are real. I see you. I sense you, in all ways.”
Sam nods. He breathes, deeply, and asks, “Do you miss it?”
Castiel doesn’t pretend to misunderstand. Does he miss his house with Dean, the warm sunlight through the bay windows, the way Dean’s hands would slide over Castiel’s thighs in the front of the Impala? “No,” he says, because he thinks also of Dean’s bunker kitchen chili, and his unfettered delight at cowboy movies. “No, I don’t think so. Once — you remember, with God — once Dean asked me what about all this was real.”
“Yeah. I had the same question.”
“I told him we are.”
Sam exhales. “Oh.”
“Maybe that’s why it doesn’t matter to me,” Castiel realizes. “I know that Dean and I are real, that our friendship is— is a truth which has shaped our paths, in all ways. Whether it’s a djinn dream or a material place, I know the truth.”
Sam nods, considers it. Eventually, he asks, “What made you wake up?”
“I tried the moment I first realized,” Castiel says. “And again, a few— what I perceived as a few weeks later. That was when you found me. The first time I was too weak to escape on my own, and the djinn captured me again.”
“Shit, Cas,” Sam breathes. “You— you— you did it twice?”
“I’ve killed more often for less,” Castiel says. “Killing myself was easy.”
Sam doesn’t ask. Perhaps they’ve all tallied each other’s body counts. Castiel wonders if Sam keeps a list of all the people Castiel has killed.
Instead, Sam says, “Well. Here’s a— okay. The distinction between dreams and real life doesn’t matter to you. I get that. My question is, is it right to say that the material world has— that it’s primary, I guess?”
It’s interesting, to attempt to apply dialectical materialism to an angel. But perhaps faithful to God’s original purpose. “You’ve seen Heaven,” Castiel says, working it out as he says it. “It’s nothing but memories. Consciousness. You’ve seen Hell, too.”
“Yeah.”
“The only way to describe these places is through metaphor. A hallway. A cage. Ripping, tearing. I think that tells us that Earth is where true creation happens. No matter what Chuck says or does, you create your own destiny. Here.”
“Shit.” Sam shakes his head. The sun has gone down; now, Sam and Castiel are accompanied by twilight mosquitoes, by stars coming in up above. “We make our own choices, huh.”
“We have to.” That’s perhaps what was wrong with the djinn dream, the reason why Castiel couldn’t stay there. It had nothing to do with whether it was real or not. It was about choice. That Dean in that back doorway of that sunlit house must have had no choice — because this Dean, his Dean, would’ve chosen otherwise.
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hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.
now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!
so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers
i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.
therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around
manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding
jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood
catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it
hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention
canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing
and now, for the fic recs!
to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles
summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.
why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other
last ones standing by makeit_takeit
summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.
At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.
“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”
He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.
Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.
why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally
motivation by connectknee
summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.
why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication
a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre
summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.
why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish
meet me at my window by springsteen
summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.
(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)
why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic
body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents
summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”
Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.
“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”
What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.
why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling
rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers
summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.
TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."
"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.
Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.
why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics
in the dark of any town by mengetpegged
summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.
“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.
“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”
(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)
why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched
lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping
summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.
But he does feel guilty about it.
or
TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.
why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)
you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide
summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”
“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.
Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”
+++
OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.
why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)
you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne
summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.
The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.
“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”
why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish
thrills and grills by bitter_leaf
summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.
__
Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.
why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!
nothing but room for you by fightingfuries
summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.
Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.
why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way
a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal
summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.
why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*
all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor
summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!
It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.
Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.
Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.
why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion
#fic rec#rec list: so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers#fic: flyers#fic: tknp#men's hockey fic#hockey fic#men’s hockey rpf#hrpf#fic: therainbowsedge#fic: manybumblebees#fic: jamesvanriemsdick#fic: catchascatchcan#fic: hackysack#fic: canary#fic: smudgedfreckles#fic: makeit takeit#fic: connectknee#fic: rusesdeguerre#fic: springsteen#fic: cloudsandpassingevents#fic: lighthousetowers#fic: mengetpegged#fic: honeydripping#fic: conformityissuicide#fic: dalmatienne#fic: bitter_leaf#fic: fightingfuries#fic: overturnedgoal#fic: p3trichor
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A Sirius Black x reader angst where he's always flirting with other girls and one day she's had enough and breaks up with him. its only then that he realises how much he loves and needs her, but she doesn't want him anymore. angst ending for sirius, but maybe reader could have a new good relationship or something?
Obsession
Ok, so this is good but also like horrible. Like if I weren’t me, I would cringe at this (i honestly still kinda do). I’ve had a tough time writing at all but a harder time writing Sirius because an angry blow torch and hand mannequin boy are stuck rent-free in my mind. So I um...mixed fandoms I CAN'T HELP IT OK this is what you get for giving me creative freedom ig 🙄 , But I will get through the requests.
And at your request i will also rewrite this if you want LMAO
Master list
InteractiveFics
To use:
Download obvi. Click the icon (upper right by the search bar) in the first box to enter your name. If you did it correctly y/n should read as your actual name. Under that it will say something along the lines of “need to change something other than y/n?” there you can change anything you want.y/h/c and y/h don't work together so please enter y/ho if you're inputting your Hogwarts house
TW: Oh baby, get ready, kidnapping, semi-forced sex (coercion?) asshole Sirius, self-harm? Like scratching? Stupid fic that sucks, yandere Sirius which, yes, deserves a warning and a big one at that. Death threats, lol. Me simping for a psycho who desperately needs Chapstick.
Here's a song I like!
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It wasn't anything new. Not at all. It shouldn't be normal like this. But it was. Everyone wanted Sirius. Everyone. You often asked yourself why he chose you, but you had never come up with an answer, and neither had he. Sirius always laughed it off. Made a dumb joke. It was pointless.
Almost everything was pointless with Sirius. Making plans, sitting together, being partners in class, and it was incredibly pointless to try and object to sex.
It was always “oh, but y/n I need you so bad baby. Look at how hard I am. Just for you. So hard it fucking hurts. Oh y/n please, ”
So you always gave in. Before you were dating, every sexual exploit Sirius had was public knowledge. But he never told anyone about you. Most of the school didn't even know you were dating.
It was normal for Sirius to wink at a girl, put a hand on her thigh, compliment her before tucking her hair behind her ear, “I'm just joking y/n. I'm not fucking them. Don't be so dramatic.”
“You're not dramatic y/n, ” is what literally anyone else would say if you told them about it. But you didn't. Hell, not even the pillow you cried into knew why.
You had decided enough was enough.
“Sirius, we need to talk, love, ” you said as he tried to pull your shirt off.
He smirked “ooohh, I get it. You want to hear how fucking hard I am for you, how pretty you sound moaning my name?” he chuckled.
“N-no, I want to talk about something else, ” you whispered
“What? Do you have a piss kink or something?” he asked.
“No, Sirius, not everything is about sex!” you said, much louder than you intended to.
He nodded, “so it's your period, huh? It's ok, you can still blow me, ” he shrugged.
“No! It's about you being all over the other girls. All. The. Damn. Time. Every time I see you, a girl is hanging on your shoulder.” you said.
“Oh my god, y/n, you are the most dramatic woman I've ever met. Have you never had a friendly conversation before?” he scoffed.
“I've had plenty of conversations with other boys, and I didn't have my hand on their thigh the entire conversation,” you said.
“God, just calm down; why are you so emotional?” he sighed.
“why aren't you so emotional. Why aren't you worried that you made me sad? Do you even care?” you sniffled.
“Of course I care, but hon, we need to move past this. It's stupid, and I haven't really done anything wrong. It's fine, ” Sirius smiled, pulling at the waistband of your pants.
“Get off me, ” you groaned, pushing him away by his head.
“Ow ow ow y/n the hair! That hurts!” he whined.
You gave it an extra tug before storming into your dorm.
By the end of the night, your pillow was wet with tears and sticky with snot. You threw the cover off of it before washing your face. The cold water felt heavenly against your watery, itchy eyes and irritated nose. A couple of shaky deep breaths stilled your cries as you fell into the sweet release of sleep.
However, the morning was hell. The whispers and laughter were horrible. The sympathetic looks were even worse.
‘I don't need to be coddled; I'm not made of glass.’ you huffed to yourself.
You sat down at the y/ho table and began to eat. You felt a hot presence next to you.
“Hello, Dabi, ” you said dully.
“Hey princess, finally ditched dog breath, I see, ” he said with a grin.
“Yeah, why do you care?” you asked, stabbing your pancake aggressively.
“Because I take broken girls and manipulate them into doing whatever I want over a week because I'm so good at gaslighting. Got that from my dad, ” he winks.
Your brain loaded for a second, “excuse me, you what?”
“You heard me, sugar. But we both know you're much too smart and much too pretty for it,” Dabi said, leaning in.
“This is literally part of gaslighting Dabi, ” you laughed.
“Shut up, or it won't work, ” he whispered.
“Ah, alright, I'm so flattered that I'm special and your feelings are real, ” you said in a robotic voice.
“Ha!” he laughed, “you're not bad y/n we should be friends, ” he said.
You nodded, smiling, “alright.” making friends had always been hard for you so to have this opportunity fall in your lap was a blessing.
“Um, but my other friend is-” he started.
“Weird?” you interrupted.
“Um yeah, you could say that. Not to Tomura's face, but you could say that” he smiled
(and that ^^ is what happens when you forget to turn the writer's block sub back on)
A couple of days passed. Tomura kept to himself mostly. Calling him and Dabi friends was a stretch; they were enemies who enjoyed each other's company was the best way to describe it.
However, when Tomura did come around for the first time, he was obviously anxious, taking off his gloves and scratching his neck more than usual, leaving red marks.
(we need to have soft Tomura moments, but cannonly he would be a Slytherin and act the part, but I just need more of him being baby)
At one point, you simply yanked his hand away from his neck (by his arm, obviously). He stared at you, and for a second, you thought you were done for.
But his look turned to one of adoration, and he hasn't left you alone since. No one had done anything like that for him, which was... Surprising since it was literally the bare minimum. Nevertheless, he followed you around like a lost puppy dog.
He ate with you, read with you, partnered up with you (leaving a very annoyed Dabi to fend for himself). You could've easily discouraged him by ignoring him, but you felt bad for him. If you were honest, it felt good for someone to finally need you. And he really was a sweet boy. He just needed someone to talk to.
And not in a hurl-playful-insults type of way. He would talk to you about his hobbies, his favorite muggle games, everything. It made your heart warm. He kept his gloves on a lot more which made teachers and students alike sigh in relief.
Usually, he'd leave at least one hand free as a sort of “ill disintegrate your ass if you piss me off” way. But he wanted to be careful around you.
“y/n?” he said, sitting beside you.
“Yes, Tomura?” you smiled, closing your book. You learned quickly that if you weren't giving him your undivided attention, he would get discouraged and moody.
“There's a dance on Friday, ” he said, looking at you.
You really didn't understand where this was going. Sirius has never asked you to dance. He just got ready and dragged you with him until he found another girl to dance with.
You nodded, “yeah are you taking someone?”
“N-no, but I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?” he asked timidly.
“Id love to, anything for you, my friend ” you smiled.
It was rare that someone gave him something he wanted without the threat of instant death. Even if it was just as friends, he was thrilled.
“And I, ” Dabi interrupted, “ want both of you to hang out with me. Because everyone else is “scared ill light them on fire”? What bullshit, ” he muttered.
“You would, Mr. anger issues. They have a good reason to be sacred. Most of us don't want to be toasted like a marshmallow, ” Tomura shot back, beginning to engage in their usual banter.
And so the night ended with laughter, but for Sirius, things hadn't been as fun.
“You miss her! Admit it!” James cried.
Sirius punched the wall, “yes! Yes, I fucking do, James! Ok! I get it! But her new “friends” will literally cremate me if I get close to her! And one of them is basically obsessed with her.” he huffed, “such a creep, ”
Remus grabbed Sirius by the shoulders, “I'm a nice guy, but Sirius, you did this to yourself. Even after she told you about how she felt you made...you made...” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I still can't believe you made a fucking period joke!”
“Jeez, Rem, it wasn't a joke, ” he said.
“Sirius, ” James said, “that's even worse,”
“Even James knows what he's doing, Sirius!” Remus cried, “ladies-man, my ass, you don't know what you're doing!”
“Girls like assholes, ” he shrugged. “I was born for this, ”
“At least he's self-aware, ” Remus muttered
“If she liked assholes like you, Sirius, she’d be fucking Dabi right now, ” James said.
“Make it up to her, ” Remus said, pushing him out of the room, “like right now!”
Sirius muttered something about a ‘burnt piece of toast looking man’ before sulking down the stairs.
He dragged his feet to the y/ho common room. The girls were like mosquitoes; they were bearable at first, but now they were really fucking annoying.
Sirius let out an audible sigh when he saw you weren't there, alerting everyone of his presence. And so the mosquitoes swarmed him again.
“Oh my god, get off, ” he finally groaned, pushing away from the group of pouting girls.
He dragged his feet up the stairs to your dorm, peeking in to make sure your personal blow torch wasn't there. What he did see pissed him off. More than anything ever had.
There you were with Shigaraki dabbing lotion on the scratches and taking care of him. He should be the only one you took care of. Him and only him. Hell, he would kill the wrinkly bastard if he had to. Take him away so you would only fall for him. Only him. He'd get rid of Dabi too. It didn't fucking matter to him.
The only thing that stopped him was the realization that, in a way, he sounded just like his parents—mindless killing. He swallowed his pride and knocked on the door.
“What's up, you fiery bastard?” you called to who you assume was Dabi.
“A fiery what?” Sirius called back.
You tensed, and Tomura placed a gloved hand on yours, squeezing softly.
“Come in, ” you said glumly.
“Hey, um, I just came in here to apologize and see if you wanted to go to that dance with me?” he asked.
Tomura reached a hand to his neck, but before he could start, you grabbed his arm again.
“Hey, what did we talk about? No scratching. I don't want you hurting yourself, Tomu, ” you said quietly.
The nickname hit him like a truck; he loved it. He loved it more than anything on earth. He loved you more than anything on earth- no, more than anything in any galaxy.
“Sirius, I’m already taking someone to the dance. And they're a lot nicer than you. So, kindly, fuck off.”
His eyes widened, and his mouth almost dropped open, “who?” he said.
“None of your business, ” you scowled.
“They'll never love you the way I did, sweetie. You know that. I'm the only one who could really love you.” he cooed.
Tomura was filled with rage, but he clenched his hand at his side instead of scratching. He didn't want to disappoint you.
“Y-you love me?” you whisper.
“Of course I do baby, I love my girl more than anything on earth, ” he smiled, but it never reached his eyes.
“Whos gonna love you better than I can, huh?” he asked, “nobody, that's who, ”
His lips moved of his own accord, “You're wrong, ” Tomura said.
“Oh yeah?” he growled, “who? Blow torch boy?”
“No, ” he said, standing up and taking a breath, “me, ”
Sirius just looked at him and laughed, “please, you'll fucking kill her. Literally. What will she do with gloved hands? They can't touch you like mine do, baby, ”
That snapped you right out of your trance, “oops, I must have forgotten that you're missing a brain, Black. You only think with your dick, which, by the way, isn't even that great.”
“And for your information, as long as he has one finger covered, he can touch me, ” you huffed, standing up as well.
This was it, the moment Shigaraki had waited for; it should have been more romantic and without your ex, but still, this was it. Someone cleared their throat from behind Sirius.
“You're blocking the door, dog breath. Get out of the way or say goodbye to your eyebrows, ” Dabi said.
He moved reluctantly, and Dabi flopped down on your bed.
“If you're gonna take this asshole back, you should gimme a chance. I bet I fuck better than him, ” he smirked.
“We’ll talk later without these assholes—astronomy tower. 3:00 am,” Sirius mumbled before shutting the door.
You wrapped your arms around Tomura, rubbing his back.
“I'm not going. Don't worry, ” you said, knowing how anxious Tomura was.
He nodded and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.
“Wait, wait, wait a fucking minute. Did I miss a season? Can I have a fucking recap?” Dabi groaned.
And so, you talked late into the night with an arm around Tomura and a very angry Dabi who was sent into the bathroom to take a cold shower after almost burning your bed.
Sirius waited for over an hour for you at the tower. He stomped on the roses, pulling off each petal before throwing them off the tower.
“Those assholes, ” he growled, breathing heavily, “I'll kill them. I'll fucking kill them both of them, ” he rambles for a good thirty minutes before stomping down the stairs.
He slammed the door to his dorm open.
“She didn't fucking show that fucking asshole stole her from me, and I'm gonna kill them both of them and make her all mine, ” he rambled.
“Merlin Siri, calm down. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life in Azkaban (😳), you'd better get ahold of yourself.” James yawned.
“For the love of god, go to fucking sleep, Sirius. She's not vanishing tomorrow.” Remus groaned.
“You're a genius!” Sirius shouted.
“Oh my god. Sirius, no. Bad dog. Don't kidnap girls you like... Or well are obsessed with. Love is a stretch, ” Remus said, going back to sleep.
But come morning, you were not, in fact, at breakfast.
Sirius almost vomited when he saw you with your arms around Tomura. Tomura Shigaraki, the perpetual thorn in his side. He carefully lifted you and carried you to a small closet no one but him even knew about before binding and gagging you. He thought it was so sweet. Waking up slowly, not knowing where you are.
When you're y/e/c eyes met his, your face contorted into disgust. It broke his heart to watch his brainwashed little girl so mad at him.
He stroked your cheek, “Oh baby girl, I hope you can clear your mind from all the silly things they told you. It would be lovely if it were before the dance, but... A two-day timeframe may not do the trick.” he tutted, placing a kiss on your nose.
You tried to squirm away but just backed yourself into a corner. Sirius muttered a silencing charm before removing the gag.
“Dabi is gonna burn you to bits, Sirius, ” you growled.
“Whatever makes you happy, my love, you are allowed to think. Even if you're oh so wrong. Even if I know they don't care for you the way I do, ” he cooed.
“Oh my god, Tomura is gonna flip, ” you said, “shit, I hope he's ok, I hope he doesn't think I just left him, ” tears brimmed your eyes.
“What if he hurts himself? Oh god, Sirius, please let me go, ” you pleaded.
“No can do, sweetheart, ” he smiled, pressing a kiss to your lips as you tried to turn away.
It felt like days, even though it was only a couple of hours. Sirius kept telling you that only he loved you. How a silly little girl like you could never survive without him. That no one else wanted you this way.
But finally, after dozens of prayers to whoever's listening, James and Remus opened the door.
“What are you doing here?” Sirius cried, “you'll ruin it! Everything I've worked for! You weren't even supposed to know where we were!”
“We have a fucking map, Sirius. This is so creepy. You're so creepy. Get out of here, man.” Said James as he pulled him out by his hair.
Remus made quick work of the knots before setting you free. After giving them both two quick hugs, you rushed to breakfast. Your eyes scanned the hall for light blue or spiky black hair. You found the latter first.
“Hey Dabi, where's Tomura, ” you asked.
“Wouldn't you like to know, ” he sneered over his coffee.
“Yes, I would like to fucking know flame boy, ” you said.
“How can you just leave in the middle of the night and demand to know where he is?” he said, slamming a fist on the table.
“Cause I was taken from my bed by a psycho and spent the last couple hours trapped in a closet!” you whisper shouted, showing him the rope marks.
“I'm gonna incinerate him; he's in your dorm still. Didn't wanna leave.” Dabi whispered.
The walk back to the y/ho dorms felt excruciatingly long. When you finally burst through the door, your heart broke. There was Tomura nearly shaking, crying softly with bleeding scratches on his neck.
You crouched in front of him, reaching up to touch his face before he grabbed your arm.
“You left, ” he whispered, “was it for him? Please just tell the truth,”
“I didn't want to Tomu, ” you said, “He took me, and I couldn't stop him. He put me in a closet, and the whole time, I was thinking about you nonstop. I was worried, and I missed you. I just wanted you. You make me feel so safe, darling,”
He pulled you into his chest by your arm; you never realized how strong he was. He made slow circles on your back with his finger.
“It's ok, ” he whispered, “it's ok, ” he too saw the marks from the rope on your wrist.
(how do I fucking end this. Do I kill off Sirius? AH, I know).
The days felt shorter with Dabi and Tomura by your side. Suddenly it was the day of the dance. You woke up to soft kisses on the back of your neck.
“Good morning, love, ” you said sleepily.
“Good morning to you too, y/n, ” he whispered.
The day went by quickly; the teachers gave up on teaching, and before you know it, you were slipping on your dress.
Your hands clenched into fists as you walked past Sirius, feeling his eyes on you. You were too scared to tell anyone. And who would they believe? The golden boy who was the purest kindest family member, or you?
You felt his eyes on you as a burnt and stapled arm wrapped around your shoulders. He pointed to a very nervous Tomura.
“Please, for the love of god y/n calm the man down, ” he said.
The closer you got, the more you blushed; he was amazing. He was the most beautiful boy you’d ever seen. You stopped in your tracks as a girl stopped to talk to him.
This was it; it was the end; it was happening again. But instead, Tomura shook his head, and the girl walked away. You ran over to him (as fast as your shoes allowed) and wrapped your arms around his neck.
You pressed a soft kiss to his neck, “you're so amazing, ” you whispered
His arms wrapped around your waist, “I'm happy you think so, my dear, ” he smiled.
And you spent the night dancing as Sirius broke the glass he was holding in his hand. But he'd get you again someday, he knew it.
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This was long. This was pathetic. This was horrible. The was unrealistic. This was cringe-worthy. This was dramatic. I should probably make a side account. It all started with a playlist on my recommended and idk which mental illness caused this or if I'm just dramatic, but my brain immediately latched on to this burnt piece of toast, and after watching the show, this wrinkly psycho. It's been hard to write, period. But also hard to write Sirius, but I will power through, I promise.
#Sirius Black#Sirius orion black#sirius black x reader#sirius x you#sirius black angst#angst#sad?#mha#mixed fandom#Harry Potter#harry potter marauders#marauders era#this sucks so good
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she blames herself
chapter 2 of 2 / wc: 1509 / msr, angst, s10, post-home again
summary: She did not deserve to lose her mother tonight. She didn’t deserve to lose her father or her sister or her children or her dog either. But here she is, a mother without a child and a daughter without a mother, lightly trembling against the headboard of the bed they once shared.
this is the first fic i ever wrote! it got deleted along with my original blog a few years back, so i thought i’d repost for that sweet, sweet validation. check out my fic tag if you’d like! xx
(chapter 1)
Early morning sun began to creep slowly through the gauzy curtains of the bedroom. A cock crowed distantly, causing Mulder to stir. He pulled the covers up and over his head, trying to block out the growing brightness of the sunlight. When the cock crowed again, Mulder sighed deeply, accepted defeat, and began to rub the sleep from his eyes. He absently reached across the bed, searching for her hand, her waist, any part of her he could use to anchor them both to each other. His hand met crisp, cool sheets. Sitting up he turned towards the empty space beside him, brows furrowed in concern and sad realization.
She had left. Last night she was grieving, covered in salty tears, clinging to his thin, cotton t-shirt. That was acceptable Scully behavior, in the night, where she could hide in the cover of darkness and their thick down comforter. But, after all these years, she couldn’t face him in the light of day. She didn’t – couldn’t – trust him enough to allow herself to be seen vulnerable in the harsh sunlight, where everything seems so real. At night, in the inky shadows, life feels less weighty, less impossible. The day is not as kind, bringing to light all the things you try to forget, try to hide.
He sighed again, this time wearier, heavier. What could he say, what could he do for her? As he fell apart after both his mother’s and father’s deaths, Scully had been there, even when he had pushed her away, yelled, showed up at her apartment drunk out of his mind. She had cared for him, she had held him, she had dried his tears. And he would do the same for her.
Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he grabbed his keys off the bedside table and slipped into a pair of ratty running shoes, almost as an afterthought as he took long strides out the bedroom door and down the hall. As he approached the main room of the house, his pace slowed.
Coffee. He smelled coffee.
Rounding the corner and stepping into the sparsely furnished living room, Mulder saw the front door sitting open and could hear the muffled noises of coffee percolating. A cold wind whipped into the entryway, causing the screen door to lightly swing on its creaky hinges. He took a deep breath of the chilled air, and stepped outside.
There she was, bed head, wrapped in her favorite flannel throw she had left behind in her hurry to leave him. She held a mug of coffee in her hand, steam rolling off in waves. Hair fluttered around her pale, freckled face, catching on the dry skin of her cracked lips. She hasn’t noticed him standing there and he takes a moment to see her in a rare moment of unguardedness; she was simply existing. No power suits donned as armor. No carefully constructed walls to hide her emotions, to keep him out. She looked calm, but pensive; maybe even a bit wistful. Her freckles and mole that she tries so desperately to hide, as if they are chinks in her bulletproof armor, stand out proudly against her porcelain skin in the soft morning sun.
Lifting her right hand, she brushes away a delicate tear off her cheek and tucks her unkempt hair behind her ear in one smooth movement. Mulder catches his breath as the early dawn rays dust her face with gold. Even in her sorrow, she is beautiful. He takes slow steps towards her from behind, and by the way her posture changes, he knows that she has heard him begin to approach.
Mulder stands directly behind her, wraps one arm around her waist, and places a gentle kiss to her cheek, still damp from tears. She closes her eyes and leans into the kiss, letting out a soft sigh.
“Hey,” she breathes, her throat tight and raw, but the smallest curve of her lip reveals she is happy to see him. He takes a step back, but leaves his hand resting on her hip, light as a feather. She passes him the mug of coffee, without looking at him. It is silent except for the gusts of wind blowing through the bare trees.
The mug warms his stiff fingers. He knows before he even tastes the coffee that it contains two sugars and the smallest splash of whole fat cream. It’s one of the only indulgences she allows herself in her strict diet, her regimented life. He sips the coffee slowly, relishing the warmth it trails down his throat and into his empty stomach. He hands the mug bag to her, clears his throat.
“I woke up and you weren’t there.” She stands next to him, staring straight ahead, giving no reaction to his words. “I thought that…,” he trails off, not knowing what he’s trying to say to her, what he so desperately needs her to understand.
She slowly turns towards him and leans in. He can feel the warmth of her body radiating from her, the smooth flannel of the blanket wrapped snugly around her petite frame. She smiles sadly and looks at his chest, avoiding his eyes.
“The house looks spotless. Have you hired a maid?” She attempts a joke, to lighten the mood. It’s a pitiful attempt; her heart isn’t in it, and it falls flat. She frowns. “I’m sorry,” she says simply. “I wanted to let you sleep. And… I needed coffee.” He shifts his hand from her waist to her upper arm, trying to make eye contact and failing. “And…I needed….I needed time to think.”
“Scully, listen, I know…I know that we aren’t really on the best terms and that…well I’ve really fucked up and, I just…,” Mulder’s throat begins to close up, tears sting his eyes. “I don’t want you to go through this alone.”
Scully inhales deeply, but says nothing. Her shoulders begin to tremble, so subtly that if he wasn’t holding onto her, he would never have known. He’s glad he knows. He holds her tighter. “I want to help you through this. I’m going to help you through this.”
Her entire body has started trembling, coffee starting to slosh out of the cup with her efforts to tamp down building sobs. Mulder extracts the mug from her iron grip and places it on the rail of their front porch. He turns back towards her, trying desperately to catch her eyes, but she just clamps them shut, trying to maintain control.
Her hair has begun to fall from its place behind her ear; Mulder takes a step closer to her, reaches out to tuck the errant strands back, and tenderly brushes his knuckles against her cheek. It’s all it takes, skin to chilled skin, for Scully to fall apart. She rushes hard into his arms, burying her face into his chest in a way that reminds him of a green special agent with some nasty mosquito bites he knew years ago.
Her tears begin to wet his grey shirt. He makes large, soothing circles on her flannel covered back, pulling her closer.
“Mulder, I...I...” she quietly whispers between gasps for air.
“Shhhh, Scully. I’m here,” he soothes, “I’m here.”
The coffee cools on the railing as Mulder rocks her back and forth, gently, whispering into her mussed hair. And as her sobbing turns to cries and her cries turn to whimpers, he continues to hold her close, arms wrapped tightly around her. She’s letting him hold her broken pieces together, a rare relinquishing of control, and he will not let her down.
When her cheeks have dried and her breathing has regulated, they continue to stand in silence, Mulder holding on to her as if she may dissolve right in front of him, disappear. Scully has been still and quiet for so long that Mulder wonders if she has fallen asleep standing up. Losing your last living parent, your last relative who truly loves and supports you despite your alien-loving partner and questionable life choices doesn’t lend itself to a good night’s sleep. He’s just about to gather her into his arms, blanket and all, when she withdraws her arms from against his chest and wraps them around his body. The strength of her embrace surprises him.
He feels her chest expand as she inhales deeply. “Mulder?” She breathes, a hint of nervousness, maybe even desperation. He doesn’t know if she wants a response, to assure her that he is listening. As if he could stop himself from hanging on her every single word since they met all those years ago in a musty basement covered in newspaper clippings and an unhealthy amount of dust.
He’s about to answer when he feels the vibrations in his chest as she says, “Mulder, I want to come home.”
Mulder laughs, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He tightens his grip around her, holding her close, feeling the rise and fall of her breath, the beating of her heart.
“You’re already here.”
#have another chapter written by 20 year old audrey. she was young and only okay at writing but she did her best and we stan#she blames herself#xf fanfic#x files fanfic#x files fanfiction#msr#mulder x scully#todayinfic#msrlibraryboost#my fic
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A villain
Ch.9 (2015 words)
Look at me putting out a 2000 word chapter how excellent. Same warnings, Shoto gets introduced.
Tags: @rachi-roo-bnha @magical-girl-04 @imacowboy3
Hawks being verbal again had it’s positives and negatives for Dabi, for starters he could complain again, but hearing his songbird sing again made up for all. Toga didn't feel much of a difference, they still spent most of the time they hung out in silence even before Hawks going nonverbal the two had never felt the need to talk. It was sort of like they could talk without talking. Hawks felt better than he had in months closer to a year now actually which was sad for Hawks to think about, but he had to push that out of his head he had someone to kill or rather someone to bring comfort to, and they were two very different people.
“So when are we gonna kill him.” Hawks asked one morning while he and Dabi were eating cereal and waking up, it was closer to noon but in their eyes it was morning.
“Well now that you're a semi functioning person again we can always just go do it tonight.” Dabi knew that was a low comment but he was still slightly upset about everything that had happened, he knew it wasn't Hawks’ fault but he was still upset for some reason he couldn't understand why he was and that pissed him off.
Hawks felt like that comment was a bit of a low blow but he was fine with that, “cool” was all Hawks said as he went back to eating, he was slightly pissed that he would have no role in his torturers death other than as a look out, but he also felt like Dabi deserved to be the one to do it.
“Maybe you can chop him up a bit before I finish the job.” Dabi felt Hawks deserved more than to be just a look out, the man had broken Hawks’ head even more than before, Hawks needed to conquer some demons just like Dabi, one of the demons was named Endeavor.
Neither Hawks or Dabi showed that they were anxious, but both of their heads were a mess. Dabi was reliving his childhood while they walked through the house and Hawks was reliving all 4 torturous months he’d spent somewhere in this house. Finally they made it to the flame heroes room, they could hear him snoring from all the way down the hall.
“Loud ass bitch.” Dabi muttered to himself thinking about all the times he and his little brother would go hang out once they heard his snores, he still thought about his brother and sister often, never his youngest brother. Dabi had always resented Shoto for being born, he knew Shoto hadn't asked to be favorite from birth but he still hated his youngest brother.
Hawks couldn't help but chuckle at Dabi’s comment, he found it amusing that even in a situation like this where he was about to kill his dad he could be funny and not even on purpose, it was just a simple comment not meant for anyone to hear. Hawks just couldn't help but laugh at Dabi. He just made Hawks happy.
“This one.” Dabi said quietly, stopping and pointing at one of the many doors in the long hallway, seriously how big a house did they need, Hawks knew it was only ever at most housing four people. Yeah Hawks and Shoto had gotten kind of close in his time in the large apartment recovering and he knew every God awful thing that had gone on and still went on in this house, there had been a question in the back of his head lurking ever since they'd come up with the plan, what would happen to Shoto?
Dabi opened the door, slowly as to not make it creak right as Shoto rounded the nearest corner. He didn't know what to do, why was Dabi in his house, why was Hawks here as well? He understood what was going on. He strode over to the two men. “I want to help.”
Neither Hawks or Dabi could comprehend what was happening, wasn't this kid in the hero course? Hawks asked himself, Dabi on the other hand wasn't surprised in the slightest, he figured something like this would happen. Dabi knew his little brother deserved some vengeance but if they were going to let him help that meant rescheduling and tweaking the plan.
Dabi regrettably spoke without thinking. “Fine but we can’t do this tonight then.”
He regretted that the second he said it, he still resented his youngest brother but he knew all three of them standing in this halfway deserved some form of revenge, but how would they get it? Dabi asked himself he knew it would be sloppy and risky to have all three of them for a single kill plus this would be Shoto’s first kill as a big brother Dabi was slightly disappointed sure he hated the kid but it was still his brother and he didn't want his brother to turn out like him.
“Fine let’s go to the apartment then.” Hawks meant the apartment he had stayed in while he was recovering but they all ended up in Dabi and Hawks’ little apartment with Toga because for some reason the little mosquito was already there when they got there. She had probably been waiting for Hawks so they could talk about that boy again.
As soon as they walked into the apartment Dabi went to the fridge and grabbed ingredients, Hawks had noticed the stress cooking a while ago but wouldn't be saying anything about it because that's usually when the best food would be served
Shoto surveyed his surroundings, he knew where he was and what bar he was above he wasn't stupid. He noticed how clean and small the place was, he noticed the feathers and what looked like ashes which made sense given Dabi’s quirk, he also noticed ash trays strewn about none full but none empty.
Shoto had to say it “so this is where you went, was worried he’d gotten you again till your feathers were found at murder scenes.” Shotos voice was robot like, Hawks only felt a bit of sympathy not enough though.
“What can I say, heroing and staying in that apartment wasn't really working out for me kid” Hawks said looking over at Dabi who was chopping onions and no doubt battling in his head thinking of a new plan, he wondered if Shoto had put it together yet and if he hadn't how long would it take.
Shoto remained silent, what was there to talk about that wasn't awkward he’d never been good at speaking to people. Hawks on the other hand didn't seem to care about Shoto being there and just went to sit on the couch to talk with his little mosquito of a friend and lit a cigarette. He didn't like smoking weed around Toga, he felt like that was just wrong considering how young she was.
“When will you stop smoking those things kfc?” Toga asked him taking one from the pack he had left out, of course she was being sarcastic and Hawks knew that but he enjoyed the camaraderie and he wanted to see how Shoto would react. He was curious and bored what else was there to do.
“I’ll stop when I die kiddo and trust me that won’t be anytime soon.” Hawks smiled, tried and failed to light her cigarette with the little pink lighter he kept on the side table by the couch while he said that. Shoto was so confused. What was this banter? Was it a game? Regardless he walked over and lit the cigarette for her taking one for himself he had too much going on in his head and Iida had taken his pack on Friday when he caught him smoking on the walk home.
“Damn no please.” Hawks said still smiling he was just joking but Shoto didn't really get that.
“Hell yeah no please I’m still pissed at you.” Shoto said more to himself than Hawks knowing Hawks really wouldn't care he took a drag still frustrated Hawks had left Shoto thought he’d died or been dragged back to that awful basement or somewhere else to be tortured. Knowing what he did now he felt conflicted about how he felt toward Hawks, he felt they had become friends but now who knows maybe he was wrong.
Dabi was focused on cooking but also somewhere in his head he had to work out all the kinks in the new plan he’d come up with while they had been on the way back there was a reason he’d stayed silent the whole way.
“God fucking damn it how many times to I have to tell you little fucks not to smoke while I’m cooking, that applies to you too ice boy.” The food always tasted weird when there was smoke in the air while he was cooking and he would be damned if his food tasted like shit because of them.
Toga and Hawks put their smokes out instantly they knew how Dabi got when he was cooking, “sorry babe” Hawks said quietly like a child who had just been scolded which he kind of was. Toga had nothing to say and just kept talking about the same boy she’d been talking about for weeks.
Shoto took another drag looking at Dabi just to be rebellious then put it out. “So you finally got over Izu?” Shoto asked Toga, Hawks knew why he was asking, despite what Shoto thought he was often painfully easy to read. Toga could read him as well.
“Yeah lover boy I guess you could say I did.” Hawks couldn't help but snort at Toga’s comment he found it funny she could read the now blushing boy as well.
“I- is it that obvious?” Wow this kid really was not like Toga thought he’d be.
“Can we keep him Dabi?” Toga asked rather loudly, stretching out the last syllable of Dabi’s name.
“Yeah c’mon babe let’s keep the kid then Toga can finally make a friend her age.” Hawks said with just as much if not more enthusiasm than Toga, he wanted Toga to have a friend but he also wanted to see how Dabi would react considering that was his little brother after all.
“We can keep the candy cane jesus fuck, why are you two like this who the hell dropped you?” Dabi yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration, accidentally dropping the knife he’d been futzing with the whole time.
“So I get no say in this, don’t get me wrong you folks seem lovely but I’m not sure I wanna stay here. Also why candy cane?” Shoto asked no one in particular.
“No you don’t get a say in it because I don’t fucking trust you candy cane. It’s the hair.” Dabi deadpanned at the last statement he made, he knew his little brother was awkward and socially clueless but holy shit he didn't expect it to be that bad, then again what could he expect Shoto had been isolated most of his life.
Hawks couldn't help but laugh at Dabi’s last statement especially the lack of tone and emotion when he said it, for some reason Hawks was always laughing at Dabi it was a part of their dynamic, Hawks was the only person that could laugh at Dabi without dying and Toga had always found that really cute.
“Fair enough it is logical not to trust me yet, and I will choose to ignore the comments you’ve made about my hair.” All of them busted out laughing at Shoto’s matter of fact tone, as Toga and Hawks rushed over and dished up some food Shoto decided he would as well what was the worst they could do tell him no.
The dinner went well, they cracked jokes most at Shoto’s expense but it was still nice. Shoto wondered if this was a family though albeit a fucked up one it had the dynamics he’d read about. Maybe this was his new family.
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Please enjoy part 2 my commentary of Outer Banks (you can find part 1 here)! Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO.
Ep. 6
• I don't trust Ward, jot that down
• John B is gonna be blinded
• FUCK OFF WARD YOU'RE NOT SLICK
• I WANNA GO AAAAWWWWF
• But now John B is actually on the property so that might be beneficial?
• Lana said fuck the feds and I did too
• BARRY BETTER BEAT RAFE'S ASS
• It's what he deserves :)
• THE CURTAIN JUST MOVED AND KIE SAW IT
• FUCK YEAH KIE SLAP HIS ASS
• Did he just
• He just slapped her back
• MOSQUITOS MEAN WATER
• YUPPPP THERE WE GO POPE KNOWS
• This is deadass the goonies
• "You love the idea of me" YESSSSS SARAH
• YES WARD CHOKE HIS BITCHASS OUT
• "WHERE'S THE BEACH!?"
• It's actually not okay but okay
• Yes he DID say that
• Desgusten
• RAFE IS GONNA STEAL MONEY FROM HIS DAD AND JOHN B IS GONNA BE BLAMED
• AHAHAHAHAH CAUGHT EM
• I love Pope sm
• Adina is that bitch, man
• Barry's gonna get his ass beat by Ward
• I knew it
• THERE'S WARD'S SHORT FUSE
• RAFE YOUR DADDY IS A PSYCHO
• KARMA, BABY, KARMA
• They're gonna trap Sarah and Kie on the boat?
• That's a got damn STING
• Why are they holding the blunt like a cigarette?
• What a shitty fucking person you are, Sarah. That's fucked up.
• SHE CALLED THE COPS I'M CACKLING
• They're gonna get caught by the scary lady
• "Weed? I could go for some weed" same, JJ
• JJ and Pope being assholes about John B and Sarah is my aesthetic
• NO NO NO WHY HER EYES LOOK LIKE THAT
• She's blind, duh
• Gross gross gross
• He's gonna catch something
• Wait does Corona virus exist in the OBX universe?
• "Any dead bodies?" Does the jaw bone he found count?
• That's shit he's covered in shit THAT'S GOLD THAT'S FUCKING GOLD
• JANIE'S GOT A GUN
• This is so cute but I know it's gonna blow up in their faces
Ep. 7
• I hate Ward he's such a sneaky bastard
• He's gonna take him out to sea and MURDER HIM
• or at least, like, warn him
• HE'S SUCH A GOOD LIAR
• Our boy Barry, he's gonna stir some shit up
• I knew it, pretending to be a cop tho?
• John B is B'ing dumb again
• Maybe not
• JJ NOOO
• CRAIN ESTATE IS FOR SALE
• AND WARD IS GONNA BUY IT
• JJ just wants his dad's approval
• THAT'S FOR HIS RESTITUTION
• How did ik this was gonna happen
• I hate his dad
• ahhhhh I WANNA HUG HIIIIIM
• Sarah do be bailin
• She said FUCK VULNERABILITY and to that I say SAME
• Those candles are gonna cause a fire. Old church? The Outsiders vibes
• Did they not just say they were gonna wait? And then immediately fuck? Okay.
• He spent his restitution money. He did exactly what he fought his dad about.
• He needs a hug so bad
• Thank you for hugging him Kie
• GUESS WHO'S CRYING
• ME IT'S ME
• Mr. Cameron, sir, you are operating a motor vehicle whilst drinking. You're providing a minor with alcohol. You should not be the Grand Knight of Rhododendron!!!
• Ward is an eavesdropping little shitfuck
• Blah blah blah all I'm hearing is a rich man trying to get the gold
• "Equitable split" sir you Didn't Find The Gold therefore You Do Not Get A Cut
• FINALLY JOHN B IS BEING SMART
• WARD JUST SNITCHED ON HIMSELF
• WARD KNOWS ABOUT THE DISAPPEARANCE
• Well, son, the sheriff already kinda knows
• What's he gonna do
• THE GAFFING HOOK
Ep. 8
• Ward is literally psycho so that's fun
• WHAT IS THIS SHOW
• HE STOPPED THE HOOK WITH HIS CAST I'M DEEEAAAD
• This turned into Parasite all of a sudden
• And this right here, folks, is called anxiety
• I love GTA
• Ward is actually psychotic
• "Ward you just got involved" just like his daughter did
• Fuck HE KILLED HIM FUCK YOU WARD
• AND HE DIDN'T CALL ANYONE WHAT A CUUUUNT I'M SO MAD
• BIG JOHN IS A LEGEND
• Ow my heart 🥺
• Ward is a big fat liar!!!!!!
• Oh my god JOHN B GONE CRAZY
• Sarah really switched up like that, huh? Shady bitch
• Where's DCS throughout all of this?
• He's doin a lil memorial I'M SAAAAD
• Pope deserves better!!!
• The gold is gone, just watch
• YUP I KNEW IT
• FUCK YOU WARD
• I feel so bad for Pope's dad bc he's had to work hard too, man
• Going to the Bahamas?????????
• Fuck Rafe
• BLAH BLAH BLAH NO ONE LIKES YOUUUU
• Pope whhhyyyy are you telling these PEOPLE ABOUT THE GOLD
• Oh shiiiit Susan knows about OTHER dirty cops
• I hope the plane crashes :)
• WARD IS A PIECE OF SHIIIIIIT
• SUE YEEEES
• John B's nod should not have been sexy
• RAFE YOU SONOFABITCH
• LIKE FATHER LIKE SON!!!!!!!
Ep. 9
• WARD. IS. A. PSYCHO.
• HOW IRONIC THAT RAFE'S TRUCK HAS A BLUE LIVES MATTER FLAG ON THE BACK WINDOW RHSJDJDBDNDH
• Pope is finally letting it out and I'M SO GLAD FOR HIM
• I shouldn't be laughing about Shoupe complaining about the regulator
• Ward really is a psycho
• FUCK THE POLICE
• All teenagers want is their parents' approval and that makes me saaaaaad
• Why do I wanna hug Rafe rn
• HE'S LIKE, NEVER GOTTEN A HUG IN HIS LIFE BEFORE???????
• OW MY HEART
• When the main character becomes a fugitive with a bounty 🥰
• Sarah isn't gonna do shiiiiit
• "What's gonna happen to Rafe?" Nothing. Because he's a rich white boy who can get away with anything bc of his daddy's money and power.
• They better not do a cliff hanger and make us wait til next season
• Rafe is delusional
• "He's a maniac" Pot, meet kettle
• Whose house is this?
• How are you gonna tell him to get out of your house and then chase him when he's trying to leave
• Pope high is amazing
• AW MY BABY
• He deserves the world and more
• NO PLEASE DON'T CRRRRYYYYY
• Topper is gonna let John B go, isn't he?
• He really locked his daughter in her room like Rapunzel
• "Hey Top, hey man, it's John B, hey" HE'S SUCH A LOSER LMAOOOO
• "My bad" My bad!?!??
• They're arguing over what word to use
• This is kinda gay ngl
• THIS FAKE CRYING EJDBEUSHEH SARAH
• Wheezie better not fuck this up bro or I s2g
• TOPPER DEF LET JOHN B OUT I WILL HOLLER
• I think Rafe is gonna get shot
• I hate this
• THE VEEEEENT
• I love rooting for a criminal
• SNITCHES GETS STITCHES, BITCHES
• Topper is gonna switch up on the Kooks and actually help out I bet
• RAFE NEEDS TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY
• TOPPER IS WEARING THE HOODIE
• THAT'S HOW HE PROVED HIS LOVE FOR HERRR
Ep. 10
• Aw John B
• Pope said FUCK FEELINGS
• Tf is SBI
• State bureau of investigation, got it
• NO, WARD NEEDS TO BEAR RESPONSIBILITY BC IT IS. HIS. FAULT.
• "Idk how to fix it" kill yourself, easy
• Sell? You mean lie. Rich people logic amirite??
• RAFE HAS VOICES IN HIS HEAD HE'S GONE OFF THE DEEP END
• The officer better know the truth
• WARD IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR
• The SBI agent sees right through Ward
• I hate this bastard
• FUCK YEAH
• Rafe is TWEAKIN
• Barry to the rescue?
• "I done worse, I was in the army" LMAOOOO
• Nvm Barry is still trash
• TRASH STICKS WITH TRASH
• They're GONE occifer
• AND THE THUNDER ROOLLLLS
• My heart is hurting so bad rn
• Is he gonna give himself up rn?
• I hate when JJ cries
• AHHHHHHHH HIS EYES OPENED AND I GOT SCARED
• OW MY FUCKIN HEART
• Shoupe is a pussy ass bitch too
• Pause, smoke break
• Lessgo
• He's gonna wait for the keys to be close to the car
• CALLED IT
• That was *chef's kiss*
• This is not good
• YEEEEES POPE
• NOOOOOO POPE
• VENGEANCE
• Holy shit
• Okay I'm gonna say it
• This GOT GOOD
• NO MORE CLICHES
• Holy fuuuuck
• If we get a second season, I wanna see Rafe destroyed
• Woah okay
• JJ is third wheel
• This is crazy
• STOP WASTING TIME
• This is all funny bc these kids are 16 and they think they're in love
• I GASPED OMG
• What did this turn into
• There's a cliche!!!
• Holy fuckitnenehehe
• Fuck you Ward
• He's gonna do it
• Ewwww "I'd rather die than be without you"
• What in the ever living hell
• Fuck fuck fuck
• And JJ is left alone
• OH MY GOD IM CRYING
• Holy. Fucking. Shit.
#emily rambles#emily watches#outer banks#outer banks netflix#netflix outer banks#obx#outer banks spoilers#obx spoilers#netflix original#netflix orignal series#outer banks liveblog#obx liveblog#sorta
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It’s been a real fucking stressful week so I’m finally gonna be drunk-watching and reviewing Breaking Dawn Pt. 2. However, I will likely only be slightly drunk(ish) (if at all) because I’m all out of liquor and only have one beer at the moment, but hopefully it’ll be enough to counteract how terrible this movie is lmao. As usual, here is what I remember from the movie the first (and only) time I ever watched it:
1. The battle scene happened but it was all in Alice’s vision and never actually happened.
2. Imprinting bullshit that none of us want to talk about. Let’s pretend it never happened.
3. Some weird dude makes fake IDs on demand.
4. All the vampires with cool powers get together, yet, sadly, they do not take down the Volturi to form a better, democratic government.
My thoughts as I’m watching are below the break:
- The opening credits triggered a forgotten feeling of sadness. Was it sadness over a terrible plot or sadness over the series being over? I couldn’t tell you.
- This fucking soundtrack excuse me. The orchestral opening piece? BEAUTIFUL. I want to choreograph a ballet to this. Or do the TikTok twerk challenge to it. Idk.
- I’m actually kind of sad that this was the last movie and it hasn’t even started yet. Most of the plot is shit and smeyer wrote some horrible garbage, but I want more of this universe. Can some of y’all who are creative write the next book and not be racist or sexist? Thank you.
- Fuck this part of the soundtrack I’m literally going to cry.
- I can’t believe smeyer produced this movie. Who let her?
- When Bella opens her eyes that shit makes me want to be a vampire @Carlise.
- Her first instinct is to grab Edward’s arm I’m crying. They love each other so much and it’s so fucking pure. I hate how they look at each other. It makes me sick but it’s all I want.
- This is the most relaxed Edward has been in any of the movies.
- LITERALLY HOW COOL WOULD IT BE TO SEE A FLOWER BLOOM LIKE THAT?!?
- I WANNA JUMP OVER A DAMN WATERFALL
- I actually feel really bad for this deer and I wish they did eat mosquitos :(((((
- Edward’s so proud of her for her control. He loves her so much.
- OMG I FORGOT SHE SAVED THE DEER WE LOVE TO SEE IT SAVE THE DEER BELLA
- aww fuck no now they’re gonna talk about the imprinting bullshit. I won’t even comment on this because y’all already know my thoughts. We hate it and we hate canon and smeyer is fucked up for what she wrote.
- Carlisle looking fine as fuck as usual, thank you. I don’t love the hairstyle here, but he’s still fire.
- Rosalie looks so happy and we love to see it. She deserves it.
- EMMETT AND ROSALIE ARE INSTIGATING THIS FIGHT AND AS FUCKE UP AS THIS STORYLINE IS I LIVE FOR THEM BOTH AND I LOVE IT LMAO
- THE WAY JACOB SAYS “OH” SENT ME THE FUCK LMAOOOOOO
- Emmett loves this fight and I love Emmett
- Damn Edward’s actually openly being turned on by something for once in his life
- The Loch Ness monster line isn’t that funny anymore tbh. I did not laugh.
- There was a lot of quivering.
- Bella literally said we’re gonna keep going for the rest of eternity.
- Everyone knows when they get back. So far, Emmett is my favorite in this movie lmao. Even Carlisle who’s always sick of his kids’ shit cracked a smile.
- Poor Charlie. They’re about to tell him she died and they’re all moving.
- Jacob’s about to go tell his secret to Charlie and then shit gets lit. I remember this part now.
- Taylor deserved an oscar for this scene. This movie might have been trash, but his conversation with Charlie deserved all the awards.
- “Jacob put your on clothes on” fucking SENT ME LMAOOOOO.
- Charlie’s so confused, poor man.
- Jacob straight up invited Charlie over with no warning while Bella was a newborn vampire lmao.
- I LOVE ESME AND CARLISLE SO MUCH
- The way Carlisle opened the door and said “Hello Charlie” did something to me. I wish my name was Charlie.
- Charlie’s so happy to see Bella though. I’m happy Jake told him tbh.
- Poor Charlie now he’s all upset because he saw Jacob turn into “a very large dog” and he’s concerned about what this means for Bella.
- She finally called Charlie dad and hugged him like she loved him.
- EDWARD TOLD CHARLIE THE TRUTH THAT RENEMEME WAS THEIR DAUGHTER HOLY SHIT I FORGOT
- Emmett really is my fave in this movie lmaoooo.
- Everyone is laughing and smiling instead of being all depressed. We lov to see it. This is my favorite scene in any of the movies now.
- When Bella said she was born to be a vampire, it would’ve been way more effective to start playing “Born to Die” by Lana Del Rey tbh.
- Irina’s about to go tattle-tale to the Volturi. Tbh I’d be pissed too after what those racist fucks did to Laurent. He wanted to join the Cullens and adopt their lifestyle. And by racist fucks, I mean smeyer and the writers of the screenplay.
- Aro is such a dramatic bitch.
- Carlisle could read me the damn phone book and I would listen.
- Honestly smeyer is fucked up the fuck up and I’m starting to think she nejoys writing about children losing their childhood. The immortal children storyline is one of the most fucked up parts of canon and we really need to expose it more.
- Carlisle and Esme are so damn cute.
- Uh-oh Sammy boy’s there. Jasper and Alice just bounced? I completely forgot about this.
- The fucking volvo.
- Okay SUPER BIG FUCKING PLOTHOLE HERE. So when they were in Alaska, Edward basically said Renememe had a beating heart so like, wouldn’t the Volturi be able to hear it? Wouldn’t that end the battle before it ever started? Smeyer really just wrote shit without thinking it through lmao.
- We hate to see all the cultural appropriation but we love Rami Malek.
- Senna and Zafrina are STUNNING and the fact that Smeyer wrote them as being anything else is a fucking crime.
- I don’t remember this Garrett hoe but I’ve seen a lot of memes about him so I think he’ll be my second fave in this movie next to Emmett. He’s high key a bitch though for treating people how he did.
- Yeah, I’m with Jacob on this one. The red-eyed bitches don’t need to be killing people. ALSO FUCK SMEYER’S RACIST SHIT AGAIN. MORE WOLVES DUE TO MORE BIOLOGICAL WARFARE THIS IS BULLSHIT SMEYER.
- Garrett really fell in love with this bitch Kate and said idc what you do to me, just do it.
- HOLY SHIT THE NEW WOLVES ARE KIDS KIDS. THEY’RE LIKE 6 OR 7. Y’ALL. WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK??? GOING BACK TO WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE IMMORTAL CHILDREN THING. THE POINT STILL STANDS.
- Vladimir and Stefan are EXACTLY the vampires I’ve been waiting on. OVERTHROW THIS MONARCHY OLD ASS SHIT AND FORM THE DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT. This scene made me like Carlisle slightly less, but in my headcanon he did want to overthrow the Volturi. I would still stare at him all day and listen to him read the phonebook. But he could’ve been a little more badass. It wouldn’t have hurt.
- Edward actually grew a pair and asked everyone to fight.
- Is Aro’s hair different in this movie? It looks different and I kinda love it.
- I hate the Volturi and all of them for varying reasons, but I do love Aro’s dramatics.
- Emmett is living for Edward being shocked by Kate which is why, again, he is my fave in this movie lmao.
- Bella reading to Renememe is the sweetest moment in this movie and it deserves more love.
- “Yeah I just do it so much better.” This cocky bastard.
- FINALLY. HE ADMITS HE UNDERESTIMATES HER. THANK YOU HOE.
- When Jake and Bella are laughing together it makes me smile. It’s so genuine.
- Sue knows what’s good. I can see it in her eyes lmao.
- Alice was smart af though for hiding that clue for Bella.
- JENKS. That’s the dude’s name that makes the fake IDs.
- “Unusually well-preserved” that’s one way to put it lmao.
- This is so sad. Bella thinks she and Edward will die.
- LOOK AT ALL THOSE BENJIS SHE’S STUFFING INTO BACKPACKS@ BELLA PLEASE PAY OFF MY STUDENT LOAN DEBT
- Alistair is such a bitch. Why is he even here?
- This little house looks so cozy for Christmas. This is all I want.
- I love the Clearwater family so much and they deserve nothing but our love and respect.
- I FUCKING LOVE GARRETT. “NAME ANY AMERICAN BATTLE I WAS THERE.” LMAOOOOO
- “No one does rebellion like the Irish.” I love this guy too lmao.
- DAMNNNNN 1500 years waiting on revenge?????? They really could’ve overturned the Volturi in favor of a democracy but Carlisle was too damn diplomatic. But he’s still my fave.
- They did Kristen’s eyebrows dirty in this movie.
- Garrett loves Kate so much and it’s so pure.
- Emmett and Rosalie look so sweet.
- “THE REDCOATS ARE COMING” LMAOOOO I REALLY DO FUCKING LOVE GARRETT AN AWFUL LOT.
- Look @ the Volturi dramatic asses wearing cloaks and shit. Hoe. It’s the 2000s. Not the 1600s. Fix your shit. If a human saw you, you’d expose the secret you’re supposedly trying to keep.
- When Carlisle raised his voice though.
- BUT THIS IS THE BULLSHIT I’M TALKING ABOUT SMEYER PULLING. TALKING ABOUT HOW RENEMEME HAS A BEATING HEART. BITCH. THE VOLTURI WOULD’VE HEARD IT AND KNOWN. NONE OF THIS FUCKERY WAS EVER NECESSARY. SMEYER’S ASS IS MORE DRAMATIC THAN ARO, AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY.
- Bella tried to shield Edward but it wouldn’t stretch all the way to where he was :(((((
- I deadass would not let my child anywhere near Aro period. It would’ve been on sight at this point and the Volturi would’ve been cleared out for democracy.
- I wish Edward would just punch this hoe.
- OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE LAUGH THAT IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT
- Jacob seems more concerned than Edward and Bella and that’s really a problem for me. Her parents should’ve torn Aro a new one and that’s on period.
- Bella’s protecting all of them. YAAASSS QUEEN. DEFEAT THESE BTICHES.
- Aro basically verified the headcanon that Gen Z would expose vampires lmaoooo.
- Alice and Jasper save the day.
- CARLISLE FINALLY SNAPPED YAAAASSSS. BEAT THESE HOES ASSES.
- ESMEEEEEEEEEE
- SAM AND THE BOYS ARE READY TO FUCKIN FIGHT NOW TOO. NO ONE FUCKS WITH CARLISLE.
- This whole fight scene is intense but I already know that none of it really happened and it was all a vision so I’m kind of just tuning it out lmao.
- Y’all weren’t playing. When they get Seth that shit really does hurt.
- Alright I’m over this. They’re dragging it out. I’m fast-forwarding lmao.
- YEAH BITCH, BELLA WOULD GET YOUR ASS SO YOU BETTER STOP WHILE YOU CAN.
- OKAY LITERALLY ALSO FUCK THIS STORYLINE NOW I’M PISSED AGAIN I JUST REMEMBERED SMEYER IMPLIED THIS HOE WAS GONNA COME BACK AND FIGHT JACOB FOR RENEMEME WHEN SHE WAS LEGAL IDK IF IT’S IN THE MOVIE IF IT IS Y’ALL FINNA HEAR ABOUT IT AND OF COURSE HE’S INDIGENOUS TOO BECAUSE SMEYER’S GOTTA BE RACIST AS FUCK.
- BUT ANYWAY. Nahuel is actually cool af. Like most of smeyer’s characters, he deserved better.
- Good boy Aro, just walk the fuck away.
- I really wish Carlisle would’ve just listened to Stefan and Vladimir and kicked the Volturi’s asses.
- Everyone is so happy and in love. We love to see it. #simpasshoesfandom
- THIS SOUNDTRACK FUCKING SLAPS. THE CLOSING SONG BEFORE THE MEADOW/AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEADOW IS A JAM.
- Oh fuck here we go with the flashback. I’m gonna cry for sure. It really would’ve been better with Flightless Bird American Mouth though.
- Damn I’m actually crying. #simpasshoesfandom
- She showed him all her thoughts and love for him I’m crying.
- “NOBODY’S EVER LOVED ANYBODY AS MUCH AS I’VE EVER LOVED YOUUUUUUU”
- FOREVERRRRR
- MY HEART
- THE END CREDITSSSSSS
Ummm. So I really thought I would hate this movie. It is mostly problematic as fuck. But some parts of it were good. Like it had funny moments and sad moments and simp moments and it was not awful. Content wise I rate it like a 3/10. Overall rating I give it like an 8/10. If smeyer’s fucked up shit didn’t get in the way of the movie, it could’ve been a 10/10.
HOW THE PAGES OF THE BOOK OPEN TO REVEAL THE MAIN CHARACTERS’ NAMES I’M CRYING
#Twilight#Twilight renaissance#Twilight review#drunken Twilight#Breaking Dawn#Breaking Dawn part 2#drunken Breaking Dawn
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The Distance Between Us
Chapter 16: Hear No Evil
Pairing: Rowena x reader
Summary: You hear something you’re not supposed to hear.
Editor: @wonderifshelikesroses
The fifth day of school without Rowena there, looking like she owned the place, was just as weird as the first.
Not that you were missing her or anything.
Well, not that much.
You were merely missing her presence. That was all.
Mosquitoes were annoying, but a summer without them wouldn't feel like summer. Not completely. Life would go on as normal. The air would be stale with humidity. Sun would burn eyes and skin, merciless, unforgiving. Sweat would glue drenched clothes to bodies. But something would still be missing. Something would still be wrong.
Mosquitoes belonged in summer.
Birds belonged in the sky.
Spiders belonged in abandoned, dusty attics.
And Rowena Macleod belonged in school.
Saturday couldn't come fast enough. Just one more day. A little over twenty four hours, and you would see her again, in the flesh, hopefully with a touch more color in her face.
It wasn't anticipation. Not at all. You weren't excited to see her. Rather, you were concerned. You wanted to see if she was okay. For health reasons.
If you repeated it enough times, maybe you would believe it. But the way things were going, you were a lost cause.
Yes, you missed her, you told yourself. And yes, you couldn't wait to see her again. So what? She was your friend. It was only natural you worried for her wellbeing.
That was right.
She was your friend. Just your friend. Nothing more. What you felt for her was friendly.
That you weren't willing to compromise on with yourself.
It was friendly because you said so. Because it couldn't — it just couldn't, not with the way things were — be anything more.
The end.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket. A message lit up your screen.
Miss me?
Rowena.
As if she'd read your mind.
You blushed, hurrying to reply.
Never.
Every single day, you thought. To hell with denial. You missed her. Truly, genuinely missed her every day of this week.
Her response came within seconds.
:(
An unwilling smile broke out on your mouth. The emoji dripped with drama. You could imagine her pouting exaggeratedly and crossing her arms over her chest like an angry child.
You big baby. :P
She sent an emoji again, this time one of a hand holding up a middle finger.
You snorted, replying,
Classy.
You started it.
Fair enough.
What are you doing up so early?
From what Crowley told you, she loved to sleep in when she didn't have school to wake up for. Beauty sleep, she called it, because of course she would.
Couldn't sleep. :(
You imagined another pout, this one sad. An ache pulled at your heart, sympathy spilling over you.
You said,
Flu's a bitch.
She begged to differ.
Flu's a cunt.
Laughter exploded from your mouth. A few kids walking beside you in the hallway looked at you like you were crazy.
To be fair, you kind of were.
Sometimes I forget you're Scottish, and then you say shit like this.
Happy to remind you, dear. :)
Now she was definitely smirking. You were willing to bet on it.
Gotta go. Talk to you later.
Rude. :(
As much as you enjoyed your chat, the five-minute break wouldn't get any longer and the bell sure as hell wouldn't wait for you to empty your bladder before ringing. Pocketing your phone, you rushed into the nearest bathroom. It was empty, most students presumably having done their business before exchanging messages with their sick sort-of-friend.
You hurried to do yours, and just before you flushed the toilet, feet sounded outside, a soft, careful patter. A stall door creaked open, then closed; halfway, you presumed, for lack of a latch sliding into place.
"So public," a voice said, hushed but clear. "Naughty girl."
"It's not like anyone will see," another voice replied nonchalantly.
"Someone could."
"Let them try. I'll run the loser to the ground."
Whistling. "So bad."
"You like 'em bad."
"Don't you know it."
A giggle, then a puckering, a melody of flesh meeting flesh, that was undoubtedly a kiss. A long, passionate one you could picture vividly in your head.
You wished you couldn't.
Good god, you wished you couldn't.
Your stomach churned, disgust roiling and twirling. Your heart sped up as if in a race as cold shivers of unease pricked at the back of your neck like thousands of needles burrowed underneath your skin.
Maybe you were wrong, you thought. Maybe it wasn't them.
But, just as you were beginning to second guess your intuition, the couple spoke once again in-between what seemed to be a hot and heavy makeout session.
There was no longer room for doubt.
It was them.
Lucifer and Olivette.
The monkey and the wicked witch.
They were making out. In the bathroom. With each other.
Sneaking behind Rowena's back.
Your teeth clenched, anger flashing. How could they do this to her? How could they betray her like this?
As much as you hated that part of Rowena's life, you knew how much it meant to her. You couldn't understand it — didn't want to understand it — but she cared about them both. She cherished them. Respected them. Cheered them on even when they didn't deserve it.
She put up with Olivette's pettiness and Lucifer's assholery, and for what?
For them to do this?
It wasn't fair.
It wasn't right.
She was sick. That was, you realized, swallowing a lump in your throat, what bothered you the most about all this. Rowena was sick, stuck to her bed, pale as a corpse. She was helpless, and they took advantage. Twisted the situation to their benefit.
Had they even gone to visit her?
Had they, at the very least, sent messages wishing her a swift recovery?
You had. You'd sent dozens. You chatted with her every opportunity you had. Made sure to respond to every single message.
As friends did.
Was that why she wanted to chat so much? Because her actual friends had forgotten about her, too caught up in themselves, in each other?
Were you officially her friend now?
Was she yours?
Why did your heart flutter like that at the thought?
"You heard from her?" Olivette asked.
"Sent her some 'I missed you' crap this morning," Lucifer said.
She snorted. "Same, last night. God, she's so needy."
"Tell me about it. All she talks about is how sick she is. Like, I get it, you're sick. You'll get better in two days. Just shut up."
"She's always whining. Always."
Rowena.
They were talking about Rowena.
"Y'know, if she wasn't such a great lay, I would've ended it ages ago."
"Classy, Lucifer."
"I'm serious."
A few moments passed in silence, then Olivette said, "I get you. She's such a brat."
"She is. Now you — you're a woman."
"Oh, am I?"
"Mmhmm. Way less annoying. Quite… entertaining."
"You're not so bad yourself."
"I can be bad."
"I know you can."
They smacked their lips in another nauseating kiss. As if on cue, the bell rang, echoing in the empty room.
You flushed the toilet, swung the door open, washed your hands, and hurried back to class.
You couldn't listen anymore. Couldn't bear to hear more moans and nasty words.
Rowena deserved better. A better friend. A better boyfriend. Someone who would like her for who she was. Who wouldn't call her names and ridicule her behind her back. Who wouldn't cheat on her when she was sick.
Someone who wouldn't let her down.
Someone… like you.
*****
"Could I ask you guys a question?" you said amidst Dean's hundredth retelling of meeting a sexy waitress he'd had a one night stand with a few days ago.
She took his order, had a cute smile, was attracted to him, and they had sex after her shift ended.
There.
How many retellings did such a simple story need?
Everyone seemed glad at the interruption. Dean just shrugged as if he wasn't bothered, though it was obvious he was.
Oh, well.
His feelings were his business.
"Please, entertain us," Crowley said, side-eyeing Dean, who in turn flipped him the bird. Crowley responded with a teasing wink.
Those two honestly needed to get a room.
You cleared your throat. Willed up all your courage. "Say the person you were dating was cheating on you and your friend saw them. Would you wanna be told?"
Everyone looked at you as if you'd suddenly grown a second head.
Meg glanced back and forth from you to Castiel, brows furrowing in suspicion. Castiel, in turn, frowned at the sudden awkwardness. Clueless as usual. It would be sad if it wasn't endearing.
"I'm reading a book," you said quickly, spewing out the first thing that came to mind. Boring, simple, but convincing enough.
Heads bobbed in nods and a few ohs slipped from lips. The tension dissipated as if it had never been there, replaced by nonchalance, by sheer indifference. As if bringing your fiction into hangouts was something you did every day.
You wished.
Your group's tastes were so different you actively avoided bringing things you were into up. There were only so many blank stares and pretend nods you could take.
"Fuck, yeah, I'd wanna be told," Meg said, grabbing onto Castiel's hand. Tightly. Possessively. "You cheat on me and…" She made a cutting motion over her throat with her free hand, then settled her stare, as intense as her words, on you. "A real friend would tell me. A real friend would hold the bastard while I gutted him."
You gulped.
Holy fuck!
Meg could be intimidating when she wanted. And when she didn't. One of her many talents.
Castiel narrowed his eyes. Blinked. Looked around in confusion like a week-old puppy.
Meg gave him a sweet smile. "You wouldn't cheat on me, would you, Clarence?"
"I'd never cheat on you," he said, baffled as to how it was even a question. He turned to you. "If Meg cheated on me, I would very much appreciate you tell me." He furrowed his brows. "Though I don't know why she would. I think I satisfy her."
"I bet she's plenty satisfied," Crowley quipped dryly.
Meg flipped him off, earning her a smirk.
"As a matter of fact, I am. Clarence always—"
"Okay, Meg, we get it," Sam said. Before she could protest the interruption, he said, "If my girlfriend was cheating on me, I'd definitely wanna know. Yeah, it would suck, but it's better to know than not."
"Agreed," Dean said. "Friends are family. If they don't tell me, who will?"
Your heart warmed at his words.
Yes. Friends were family. A chosen one, filled with people you wanted there, people you'd picked to love out of millions of others.
If you didn't tell Rowena, who would?
Her other friends didn't look out for her. They didn't give a damn about her. Not a single one of them.
You did.
Despite everything she'd done, despite the life she'd chosen to lead, you cared about her. You saw the side of her that no one else did; the sweet, gentle one, the one capable of kindness. The one she hid from her own family.
She trusted you with her most vulnerable parts. Something not even your other friends did. The realization made your blood warm up in your veins. Heat burned at your cheeks.
You cared about her. So damn much that your heart felt like it was ripped apart at the thought of what Lucifer and Olivette's betrayal would do to her.
She deserved so much more than she was getting.
A better friend.
A better lover.
You.
She deserved you.
And, god, you wanted her. All for yourself, far away from her friends' clutches, from your friends' disapproving glares.
You could give her so much. You were neither rich nor popular, but you cared about her. Your feelings for her were genuine, honest. You couldn't give her power, but you could give her friendship.
You could give her love.
The friendly kind.
And maybe some even stronger than that.
What it was, you didn't know — you didn't want to know, didn't want to admit it just yet for it was too soon and things were too complicated — but it was hers. All hers.
All she had to do was want it.
"Fuck that," Crowley said, shaking you from your thoughts. "This is high school. I'm looking for hookups, not a commitment. I say, whatever happens when I'm not looking, never happened. I don't want to know. Hell, I'm probably out there doing the same bloody thing. There's plenty of fish in the sea. If you don't try out different kinds, what's the point?"
Of course he said that. Of fucking course.
Fergus MacLeod, ever the rebel.
"That's a… unique perspective," Sam said.
Crowley shrugged, nonchalant. "Just telling it as it is."
Fair.
You couldn't comprehend it, but he had a right to his preference. He was an adventurer. An explorer. Bear Grylls of the dating scene. He lived for the moment. Tried out different things, different people, enjoyed life as it went on. Lived his life the way he wanted, by his own unwritten rules. A hedonist by nature.
Rowena was different.
She was committed.
And had been betrayed.
And, as her friend, it was your duty to tell her.
*****
Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne
#rowena#rowena macleod#rowena x reader#spn#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#lucifer#olivette#crowley#megstiel#meg masters#castiel#my fics#fanfiction#high school au
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The Last Mission (4/?)
AN: Ooookayyyyyyy, I have to admit, Bucky/Wintersoldier might be ooc in this chapter... Sorry about that(?)
I hope you guys still enjoy it though.
Warning: ooc Bucky/Winter soldier (?), no really dark compared to the other parts (sorry, not sorry :P), mention of non-con /dub-con
Masterlist
TLM- Masterlist
Part 3
The soldier had taken you another four times that night. Every time finishing inside of you, though you did not care because you had no hope of leaving that cabin at all. After he had taken you the last time, he had carried you into the bath and beneath the warm spray of the shower, only to leave you on your own.
Strange-
Taking the offered opportunity, you quickly tried to clean yourself from any evidence of the night, even though you knew it would be only a reason of time until he would take you again.
Satisfied with your cleaner state, you grabbed one of the offered towels and dried your body, careful with the bruises the male had left behind the last couple of hours.
Finished, you contemplated for a second to wrap the towel around your body to get something between you and him, but you decided against it in the end; because one: you did not anger the soldier again and two: why stretch the unavoidable with wearing things he would just rip of your body.
Still uncomfortable with your current situation and state, you made your way back to ´your´ room. With your head hanging low.
To your surprise was the room empty and you sat onto your bed, with your covers -he must have brought them into your room while you were in the shower- pulled to your chest for warmth and back resting against the headboard. You did not want to get the bed wet with your hair, like it would happen should you lay down.
And so, you waited.
Waited for anything and nothing.
Waited for the male to return.
Waited for your future to happen.
Yes, you were exhausted, not only in your body but your mind as well, but there was still adrenalin pumping through your veins and fear about angering the male burning in your heart.
You just couldn’t lay down and sleep.
It took another hour or so, until the man returned to the room again, fully dressed and a tablet in his hands.
His skin looked pale and eyes tired, but not from exhaustion. It was a different time of tiredness.
Without sparing you a glance, your captor walked towards the little table and placed the tablet down.
“There is food and water. Eat- drink- sleep.”, he stated, walking back out of the door and leaving you alone again- confused.
What? Why? Did he just- He was completely different, like another person-
Neither hungry, nor thirsty, you finally were able to lay down and let sleep take over your exhausted and hurting body.
___
“Who are you? Why are you here? - I know I was ordered to not kill you, but why are you here? And what happened last night? How did you make me do that?”, you finally recognized your captors voice whispering those words.
What I made him do?
“I can barely control myself right now. Just being near you, just knowing you are this close- “, he whispered a tat darker and closer than before, “I know you are naked beneath those sheets. And there is this burning urge inside of me. An itch that won´t leave. That only good better after-. Who are you girl. And what did you do with HIM?”
Because if I had declined, the damn Widow would have made! I hope those two are not doing too well. I pray mosquitos bite them where they can´t reach to scratch. Whoever listens knows they deserve it!
His fingers caressed your jaw, his thumb brushing over your mouth.
“Those words you said. They triggered something. I don´t know what it is, but I am sorry for everything I did and will do. I don’t know who I am, or what I am capable of.”, he continued, still whispering.
What the fuck is going on? Why is he like this? Is he saying he can´t do anything against this? That he is not in charge of his own body?
“I only know that I was able to think clearer after every time- after I- I took you. But with every passing second my mind goes hazier and hazier again, it is like I forget myself all over again.”, the soldier almost sobbed, his hand still gently caressing your face, “I don’t know what to do. Where to go and what I am at the moment. Who am I? I would tell you to go and run. As far away as you can. But I fear I will forget and go and hunt you down to bring you back. You couldn’t get away from me or die out there. There is nothing in a three-day walking radius than bears, wolves and other things that will happily eat you.”
Not that I wanted to run, but good to know that it would be my certain death if I try.
“You are allowed to walk freely now. But stay out of my room. I will try and stay away from you as long as I can think straight. I think there should be enough food in the pantry to last for a few weeks.”, he told you, even though he must have thought you were asleep, before you heard the rustling of his clothes and the door to your room closing. But no key was turned, and no lock locked.
Did he just place a barrier between him and me? I am confused. What did just happen?
___
You had fallen back asleep after another half an hour of confusion and trying to make sense out of everything the male had said to you during the night.
Getting up from your bed, you noticed a pile of neatly folded clothes had been placed on the chair and so you decided to take a closer look. Regardless the aching in your legs and lower belly, you made your way there.
Did he bring me clothing?
And indeed, he did. There on the chair were laying a pair of lose trousers, a top and a pullover; every single article was far to big for your body and you figured that this were spar clothes of your captor.
At least the trousers have a cord to fasten them, and I can roll up the legs and sleeves.
He said I am allowed to walk freely, right? Well, I think I will call out no matter what, just to make sure.
“I am going to leave my room now. If I am not allowed to do so, please let me know!”, you called out through the closed door, waiting a few seconds for an answer that never came.
I guess it is safe to go then…
Slowly, your body buried inside the huge pullover, you snailed your way towards the kitchen, where you assumed the male would be.
I should have just gone into the bathroom to get some water. But damn I would kill for some hot tea or so. Maybe there is something hidden in one of the cabinets?
You could hear your heart beat inside your ears, and it became louder with every step you took.
Please do not be in there. Please don’t be in there.
Repeating that mantra in your head over and over again, you summoned all your courage (and what you later would describe as suicidal tendencies) and stepped into the very same room that had caused you the big trouble the day before.
It was empty. At least that was what you thought at the first glance. But you were mistaken. Right next to the doorway you just stepped through stood the man of your current nightmare, unmoving and with his eyes concentrated on you.
Indifferent to him, you only noticed him when you had reached the other side of the kitchen and you froze.
You feared a repeat of your last visit to this room was imminent, but to your surprise and relief did the male only stare at you, before taking a seat against the kitchen counter and taking a bite from whatever he had prepared for himself.
This promises to be interesting.
Taking an apple that had been placed in a bowl in the centre of the kitchen, you sat down on the opposite side of the table, your eyes never leaving his form.
You knew no matter how this encounter would pass, that would be the way the rest of your stay with the man would go by.
Part 5
AN 2.0: So what do you guys think ?!
Why is he suddenly totaly different to the night before?
Was Bucky ooc? and what do you think the reader will do now?
Will she try and run or will she stay?
Until next time and thank you for reading :)
~MaggY :)
Taglists:
Permanent:
@jadepc@pacifyhxlsey @thankyoukarenclifford @thankyouforanonymity @punkrockhufflefluff @scarletraine @ambrosialyn @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @buckycaptspideypool @buckycaptspideypool @markusstrayya
MCU:
@yknott81 @banner-and-bucky-are-life @forext20 @dyanlzbb @so-finster-die-nacht @emmii4 @caplansteverogers @bitchwhytho @ladyofmyst @coohlwhip
The Last Mission:
@eyesfixedonthesun22 @sherrybaby14 @lazilysuperbbucky @lizblinder
@queen-aerie @demonlover87 @simplyhemmings @darkficsyouneveraskedfor (i hope it was ok for me to tag you. If not let me know and I will untag you)
Want to get tagged (or if you are shy and want to leave me a comment that only I can read) please send an ask :P
#dark#dark bucky#dark wintersoldier#dark bucky x reader#dark wintersoldier x reader#mcu#marvel#mcu fiction#dark fanfiction#bucky fiction#winter soldier fiction#wintersoldierfiction
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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander
Thoughts on Ep. 405
MURTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
The end.
Y’all I haven’t fangirled about an episode of Outlander this much since season fucking one. And can I just say, I fucking missed this feeling. I missed this feeling so fucking much. Comparing this episode to the ones with all of the book dialogue awkwardly crammed in makes me really hope they start throwing the book out the window more and more, and instead just do whatever they want in order to tell a good story.
AND I JUST FUCKING LOVE MURTAGH OK!
PETITION TO LET CLAIRE HAVE FRIENDS WHO DON’T MURDER PEOPLE/GET MURDERED!
Just the mutual respect between Claire and Adawehi gives me the warm fuzzies.
Adawehi: “She is here. No, not in your heart, woman. I mean actually here. Like physically here. Yes, I know you find it comforting to think your daughter is always with you in your heart, but I’m telling you, she can also literally be with you, like in your house.” Claire: “Yeah, it’s really too bad I had to leave her, but at least she’s here in my memories...” Adawehi: “You’re killing me, lady.”
JOKING ASIDE ADAWEHI DESERVED BETTER AND I LOVE HER AND MUELLER IS THE WORST.
Gerhard, not Robert.
I love the white sow with my whole heart.
LOOKIT THESE DOMESTIC FRASERS WORRYING ABOUT HATS AND JERKY.
I’m laughing at Jamie so hard for thinking that Scots are just going to jump at the chance for free land...that ties them to the English government. Like bro, some of the Scots in North Carolina actually give a shit about what the English did to Scotland. And don’t immediately get in bed with them, (especially when it’s common knowledge that they cheat and steal from people) and become the sort of people they fought against.
It’s like Jamie and Claire were like hmmm, our only two options are to move to Boston where we’ll be right in the middle of the revolution or become the colonizing/occupying force we fought against in Scotland. And the rest of the Scots are like nah, bro.
OH HEY JAMIE, WHY YA TAKIN’ THAT CANDLESTICK?! TO GET A RING MADE PERHAPS??? *fangirling intensifies*
“I love bacon.” Same, Young Ian. So much same.
Lady Boner for Frontier!Beauchamp.
Oooh, we’re doing Jamie’s visions are we?
I really do appreciate them doing damage control after last season including Jamie thinking of Bree this season. And I love how ever since Claire came back to Jamie, Bree is still a constant presence in her life. And she continues to live with the cost of her choice to return to Jamie.
Y’all Claire lost her parents. She left Uncle Lamb when she got married. She lost Frank woohoo! when she went through the stones. She lost Jamie after Culloden. And she lost Bree when she went back to Jamie. She’s never really had all of the people who are important to her with her all at the same time. AND IN A COUPLE OF EPISODES SHE WILL AND I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT! I SHIP CLAIRE AND HAPPINESS AND SHE WON’T FULLY HAVE THAT UNTIL HER WHOLE FAMILY IS TOGETHER AND GUYS I HAVE FEELINGS.
Nice hat, Roger MacSeedot.
Miss Baird: “I can see she broke your heart.” Me: *recaps the last couple episodes* Miss Baird: “Actually, she’s better off without you. You’re kind of the worst. Good day to you MacSeedot. I SAID GOOD DAY.
Just noticed that this pic that was tweeted about Wilmington is actually Woolam’s Creek. Lulz.
Ok is this lady flirting with Jamie only supposed to be setting up him telling Bree that he’s a married man? Or else, like, what’s the point? We know Jamie’s not going to cheat on Claire? If this is supposed to be like the Mme Jeanne fake out then hard pass, show.
“That’s a very impressive offer. But you see, the English fucked up our country. Our families. Our lives. And now they cheat and steal from us here, all the way across an ocean. Rent or no rent, I still have my principles.”
“Did six farmers just refuse the offer of land given without charge?” “There’s no sense in it. Except that it makes them obliged to the English and, you know, as Scots we sort of don’t like them very much. So really I have no clue why they’d turn me down.”
Yo, I fucking love this change, tbh. Jamie’s a dumbass, but I’ve thought that about show!Jamie for a minute now so... Bahahaha. Bro. Rock on, farmers.
“Savages! They steal our water for their horses!” Y’all Mueller is the literal worst. But him being fucking awful, doesn’t mean Jamie and Claire are off the hook for also being fucking colonizers.
But seriously. Gerhard. You are a fucking monster.
“They have no reason to set foot on MY land!” Fuck ALL the way off, bruh.
Claire’s like “Please! I know they’re the literal worst and you’re literally just watering your horses on your own damn land, but please change your behavior to accommodate a racist af colonizer!” Which like, good on her for trying to deescalate the situation, but putting it on the wronged party to change to accommodate the white aggressor still isn’t a good look.
“Water belongs to no one.” Y’all this show claims not to be political, but making this conflict about water is relevant as fuck to the present. (For those who don’t click through to what I link, that’s a profile of the Standing Rock water protectors.)
This episode is really doing a lot to try to frame the Frasers as “good” colonizers. (Look! They make friends with their Cherokee neighbors whose land they’ve stolen! They’re trying to learn the Cherokee language! They respect the knowledge of Adawehi! They know Cherokee customs!) And the Muellers as “bad” colonizers. (This is our land! They shouldn’t be here! Fuck what they’re actually doing, I think they’re cursing us and therefore must murder their witch!) But show, let’s be real. Just like the “benevolent slave owner” is bullshit, the “good” colonizer is also bullshit.
Gerhard Mueller is an unforgivable piece of shit, but that doesn’t mean the Frasers are in the right.
Rollo the body guard is adorable and I 100% want a blooper reel of just him fucking up and Balfe being like OMFG DOG.
Claire tiredly flopping onto the bed is A FUCKING MOOD.
Y’all the Leoch music as Claire does the homestead chores gives me so many feelings. It meant she was starting to feel at home in Jamie’s time and is now signifying her being at home in the place they built together AND I JUST WANT MY BABY TO BE HAPPY OK.
For real though, I fucking love the white sow.
White Sow/Clarence 2020
Claire nudging Rollo out of her food is relatable af. *side eyes my cat*
Claire’s “good morning, ladies!” to the goats is my fucking everything. Also, pretty sure one of the goats is named Persephone and the person who posted this just didn’t know how to spell that. High five for animal name twins! I should get my cat a goat friend...
Claire drinking and being like oh this is gross and then drinking more anyway is also A Mood.
“’Tis my land after all.” Jamie says it in relation to the English. Mueller says it in relation to the Cherokee. Again trying to show a difference between the two, but *looks directly into the camera.*
MURTAGH MOTHERFUCKING FITZGIBBONS FRASER Y’ALL
Lol, I love that in the closed captions, Murtagh’s lines are noted as “Smith” before he turns around. Like we don’t recognized that crotchety voice.
Y’ALL I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT MURTAGH IS BACK.
Oh look, rando flirty woman is back. *hums Say No to This to self*
OMG THE LOOK ON MURTAGH’S FACE WHEN HE HEARS JAMIE’S VOICE IS LIKE THE SAME FACE THAT JAMIE MADE WHEN HE HEARD CLAIRE’S IN THE PRINT SHOP AND I AM SO FULL OF FEELINGS YOU GUYS
YES, HUG IT OUT, GUYS! *JOINS IN THE GROUP HUG FROM MY COUCH* I’M JUST SO HAPPY.
"I’m sorry. Citronella died. They got measles, but at least there were no mosquitoes.”
Gerhard Mueller is totally the sort of person who would shoot up a mosque or synagogue because of some bullshit, racist 4chan conspiracy theory. Entitled white men haven’t evolved at all in the last 200 years...
Yas, Claire, work that gun...
(gif source)
The way Jamie’s face lights up when Murtagh says he can do a bit of silversmithing though.
Y’ALL MURTAGH IS TOTALLY GONNA MAKE CLAIRE’S NEW RING AND THAT ANON I GOT TOTALLY CALLED IT AND I AM 1000% HERE FOR IT OMG YAAAS, SHOW, YAAAS.
Murtagh’s face when he thinks Jamie remarried is amazing. And Jamie sending Young Ian away when Murtagh asks if he married again is hilarious because like “Dude, please don’t blow up my spot about Laoghaire when I haven’t been able to fanboy with my godfather about my time traveling wife yet. And I need to fanboy about my time traveling wife with her literal #1 fan.”
*waits impatiently for Murtagh’s reaction to the Laoghaire marriage news*
For real, his reaction to that is going to be fucking aaaaaaaAAAHMAZINGGGG.
Y’ALL I WANT A CEBRF FANDOM WAR BETWEEN MURTAGH AND YOUNG IAN OVER WHO STANS CLAIRE MORE. “I regularly put my hands in other people’s body cavities for her!” “I’ve been stanning her for twice as long as you’ve been alive, laddie!”
THE CLAIRE ELIZABETH BEAUCHAMP FAN CLUB’S FOUNDING MEMBER IS BACK AND YOUNG IAN BETTER RECOGNIZE.
LOOK AT HIS FACE WHEN JAMIE SAYS THAT CLAIRE CAME BACK! AND HE FUCKING *KNOWS* WHAT THAT MEANS! HE FUCKING PRAYED FOR HER AND HER BABY FOR YEARS AND TO KNOW SHE’S SAFE AND BACK WITH JAMIE AND HIS SHIP REALLY IS ENDGAME AND I’M JUST SO FULL OF HAPPINESS.
Da!Jamie bragging about his kid is endearing afffffffff.
*again side eyes how she was treated in ep. 306*
Ok, but I love that Murtagh doesn’t just like up and change his whole life to rejoin Jamie. It’s been a long time. He has his life. He loves Jame and he loves Claire, but just like they had changed, so has Murtz.
“We’ve had trouble finding tenants.” “Yeah, no shit. Come, Jamie, let me school you.”
Murtagh in a kilt and bonnet while Jamie is in breeks and a tricorn. Murtagh rousing the Scots against the thievery of the English and Jamie trying to get them to become indebted to the English. Which one is truly keeping the spirit of Scotland alive in North Carolina?
I’d bet money that the piece of tartan Murtagh has pinned over his heart is the same piece he’s had with him since Ardsmuir.
Mueller can fuck all the way off with his “we deserve to live because we believe in God” crap.
It *is* their land you fucking piece of shit.
The scene with Mueller when he brings Claire Adawehi’s scalp got me so fucking heated because there are so many white men in this country today who share the same/very similar beliefs to him in regards to various minority groups or people they see as “Other.” Fuck each and every one of those men.
Claire’s funeral for Adawehi is very moving though.
#AdawehiDeservedBetter
You brought this on yourself, Herr Mueller. Good riddance.
But Frau Mueller, yet another woman who is the collateral damage of the shitty actions of men.
Rollo is the least intimidating guard dog ever.
HE REMEMBERS HER SONG AND IT’S LIKE THEIR LITTLE INSIDE JOKE AND HE DOES HIS LITTLE DANCE AND HER FACE AND HIS FACE AND GUYS I AM SO FULL OF FEELINGS AND I LOVE THE TWO OF THEM SO MUCH AND GUYS I AM SO EXCITED FOR MURTAGH TO BE AGGRESSIVELY #TEAMCLAIRE WHEN HE FINDS OUT ABOUT LAOGHAIRE AND FOR HIM TO MEET BREE AND EVEN FOR HIM TO MEET WILLIE AND GUYS THEY SAVED MURTAGH AND I LOVE MURTAGH AND YOU DID A GOOD THING, SHOW.
Ok the letter that Bree left for Roger makes him look even worse for going after her tbh. Like he wasn’t supposed to see it for a year and it was like clearly an “open if I’m dead” thing so like he knows she clearly is intending to come back. But instead of listening to her, he off and does what he thinks is right instead. Which means he’s learned *nothing* since the proposal. Fuck that guy.
Roger really is Frank. He wants a marriage like Frank and Claire had pre-stones. Where it's all about him and what he wants to do and the wife is just along to support him in that endeavor. *gestures at episode 101* Between reading the books again and watching this season, Roger really is the worst and I don't think the show will do anything that comes close to redeeming him since *gestures at how they wrote Jamie last season* so at this point I ship Bree with her damn self. She doesn't need a man to live her fullest life. Especially one like fucking Roger.
Bree is too good for Roger and this is the hill I will die on.
But y’all! Bree’s gonna get to be with her mom again! And meet Jamie! And look hot af in period clothes! AND MEET MURTAGH!
*focuses aggressively on that instead of Rape and Rogergate*
GUYS MURTAGH IS BACK!!!!!!!!!
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Mutated
(@thedasherqueen requested how would the boys+ April react to their s/o being mutated. I've read a lot of these so I'm going to try and write something different with them)
So let's say- the turtles and April we're in the middle of a butt kicking battle with you on the sidelines!! One thing led to another and the enimies they were fighting distracts them long enough for a mutant mosquito to inject you.
Raph-
🍕 when he first saw that mutant mosquito drain its fluid into you he was shocked.
🍕 he could feel anger, sadness, defeat build up in his system and he didn't know what to do. He felt like he failed you.
🍕 he just stares down at his hands resting in his lap in defeat. Tears pooling in his eyes.
🍕 then above all anger. True rage that he was usually good at holding back. It all came pouring out.
🍕 first, he dealt with the bad guys. Taking half his anger out on them, pushing his brothers aside to deal with them himself.
🍕 next he turned to you, his brothers around your body as you twitched and spasmed, feeling your dna and bones rewire and shape themselves.
🍕 he couldn't watch, it broke his heart even more. So he turned his attention to the now empty bug resting on the wall. He punched it over and over repeatedly. It didn't matter that the bug was already dead, raph just kept punching. He needed to keep punching.
🍕 finally when he turned to you, you had changed. Became a mutant. But you were still beautiful. Still amazing. Still his pumpkin. And no matter what he was always going to love you.
Leo-
🍕 he tried to get to you in time he honestly did. He ran as fast as he could but- it was too late.
🍕 he instantly turned to the ones who distracted him and growled lowly in pure anger. No more funny business.
🍕 he snapped then and there. Bossing his brothers around to make sure you were okay, and his eyes held a gaze that could kill.
🍕 he said nothing. He didn't even trip. Just made sure that his foes felt pain and suffering before they fled.
🍕 slowly walking to you he threw his sword at the bug, hitting the target head on and lodging his sword in the wall.
🍕 but none of that mattered. All that mattered was if you were okay. And when he stopped, and saw what you had become he fell to his knees.
🍕 crushing you in a hug he let his tears spill out now. Telling you how he's so sorry that he failed you.
🍕 he never was bothered that you mutated. He cares about you very much and through thick and thin, you'll always be his cutie that he fell for.
Donnie-
🍕 he instantly runs to your side, letting his brothers do the fighting.
🍕 he holds you as your body reforms itself, hearing your screams of pain made him start crying. He closes his eyes and just holds you close.
🍕 reopening his eyes he holds your mutant form in his arms and looks into your eyes. Repeating the words over and over, "im sorry"
🍕 he'll give you a forehead kiss and let go of you. Now standing up, shadow looming on his face so his expression was hidden.
🍕 he'll turn with the darkest, most blood boiling gaze ever. Jaw clenched, eyes burning.
🍕 his brother know that look. It's the look of 'you done fucked up' and they instantly get out of the way.
🍕 after almost breaking every bone in those scumbag's bodies. He'll go back to you and hold you again. Taking you to the lair and inspecting you. Making sure your mutation was okay nothing bad happened.
🍕 after the check up Donnie will smother you with sad pleas to forgive him. He'll blame himself and claim that you deserve better. But no matter what he'll always think of you as perfect. Mutated or not.
Mikey-
🍕 nonononoNONONONO.
🍕 he kinda just stops. He'll watch you hold your head and scream as you feel pain surging through you.
🍕 he's already crying. Really hard. You're in pain and he couldn't save you. And now society is going to look at you like a freak. You'll never be happy again.
🍕 instantly looses it. Starts hitting, punching, kicking, throwing, an thing he can do to hurt the enemy. Anything to express his anger and sadness.
🍕 he's by your side in an instant though. As are his brothers making sure you and him are okay they've never seen mikey so,,,scary Before.
🍕 he'll put his for head on yours and cry. He just needs to let it all out.
🍕 he'll pull away though and smile at you, "How are you still so beautiful??" He wants to make you feel good about yourself. Never does he want you to think you're a freak.
🍕 mikey will be more clingy. Making sure you're happy and helping you discover your new form and all your possibilities.
April-
🍕 oh no they didn't. O H N O THEY D I D N T
🍕 she goes ham. Whacking around people and just shouting out curses that wouldn't be aired on television.
🍕 she'll hack the bug to pieces just whacking away to get her anger out.
🍕 "april.." she is pulled out of her bug smashing trance by the sound of your voice.
🍕 she slowly goes to you. The guys by her side to support her. She sees you, your mutated self now staring at her with hurt eyes.
🍕 she's hugging you in a split second giving you smooches and looking you over for scratches. She wants to make sure you're okay. Besides you know, being mutated.
🍕 why would it bother her that you're a mutant?? Her best friends are mutants. She loves you no matter what and no matter what she'll always make time for you.
(Hope this was okay. Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!!)
#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#rottmnt x reader#rottmnt april#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt x reader
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Title: Aren't You...?
Rating: T
Summary: For every advantage not having a secret identity had, there was always a disadvantage he had to deal with as well.
Ships: Jyle mentioned past Kydi
Other: Superhero AU
Read on ao3
~~~~
The train car was mostly empty, which left Jimmy somewhat disappointed. Sitting around on the train to people watch gave him some of his best bits.
Where would the name 'Jimmy Valmer' be in the comedian circles if he didn't have his Bible Throw Down story?
Of course, the story itself had some embellishment to it, but it wasn't fully made-up. Jimmy was witness to two old women getting up in each other's faces, and one of them did raise her Bible to smack the other, but the fight didn't escalate as far as Jimmy's routine claimed.
Fastpass stepped in before that could happen.
He shouldn't be too surprised at the emptiness of the train, really. It was late, and this train didn't run between any major factories or nightclubs.
The only other passengers were a person sleeping in the corner, a bottle in a paper bag between her shoes, and another person sitting in the middle of the car, staring down at his phone.
Jimmy slipped into a seat and took off his crutches. He set them beside him before leaning back and shutting his eyes.
Maybe this was a blessing, more so than the Bible Throw Down, even. Some quiet time would do him good.
It seemed that lately, the city was more chaotic than normal: crime was on the rise, villains with superpowers kept popping up, not to mention the recent bout of fights and arguing amongst the city's heroes.
Just a week ago, Mosquito and ToolShed got into a spat over something or another and fucked up a local park. The media was still having a field day with that story.
All the heroes have been staying on their best behavior since then in an attempt to keep their reputations on the up and up. Jimmy included. That was the main reason he wasn't running home. The last thing he needed was the tabloids getting wind that he had gotten another speeding ticket or that he'd broken traffic laws again.
"Um, hey, excuse me?"
Jimmy opened his eyes. The person who was sitting in the middle of the train now stood in front of him.
"Yeah?" Jimmy shifted so he was sitting up straight.
"Are you..." The person paused a moment, and Jimmy reflexively tensed for what was coming.
'Are you the Fastpass?’
For every advantage not having a secret identity had, there was always a disadvantage he had to deal with as well. This particular disadvantage was his least favorite.
Everyone knew him as 'Fastpass', the speedy fighter for justice first and foremost, not 'Jimmy Valmer,' stand up comedian, or 'Jimmy Valmer,' newspaper reporter. Jimmy was proud of the good he'd done as Fastpass, but the fact it erased all his other accomplishments annoyed him to no end.
There wasn't much he could do to prevent it though, so instead he prepared for the onslaught of usual questions.
"You're Jimmy Valmer, right?"
Jimmy blinked. His brain froze a moment before the word sunk in.
"Y-yes. That's me!" Jimmy brightened. He held out his hand with a grin. "And you?"
The person grinned back before taking his hand and shaking. "Kyle. It's so cool to meet you."
"Likewise," Jimmy replied, "I love meeting fans!" He paused a moment, before picking up his crutches from the seat beside him and moved them so they were between his knees.
"Wanna take a seat and ch-chat?" He patted the seat beside him.
Kyle looked apprehensive until Jimmy flashed an encouraging smile, then he slipped into the seat.
"So, what brings you out on this glorious night? The am-amb-ambiance of the train or the company?" Jimmy waved his hand to the train drunk in the corner.
Kyle covered his smile. "I'm heading home from a friend's house, actually. He just moved out from his ex-girlfriend's, and he's still getting over it."
"Ah," Jimmy nodded, "A br-broken heart can change a good man in so many ways."
Kyle snorted. "He'll get over it. He's just pissed a friend told his ex something he'd said in confidence about her." He shook his head.
Jimmy rested his chin on his crutches. In his mind's eye, he replayed the argument between Mosquito and ToolShed. Apparently, the argument started after Mosquito mentioned some less than savory information about Shed to Call Girl.
It was almost funny how something so ordinary could cause so much damage among super powered men.
"I hope he and his friends, girl or o-otherwise, can work everything out." Jimmy offered.
"Yeah," Kyle sighed, a forlorn look crossing his face.
"Something the matter, buddy?" Jimmy asked.
Kyle jumped. "Oh! No, no, I just--it's nothing. Personal stuff. A stranger like you wouldn't want to hear about it."
Jimmy turned his head to the side. "Strangers? We know each other's names, that makes us p-prac-pra--pretty much family." His eyes twinkled. "You can expect me over for Christmas dinner with how close we are now!"
Kyle chuckled and shook his head. "I'm Jewish, actually."
"Oh, Hanukkah then," Jimmy corrected. "I'll show up all eight nights and bring a cheese p-platter. Besides," he elbowed him, "if something is bothering you, talking tends to help, if you want."
Kyle chewed his lip a moment. "This isn't going to be used in any of your shows if I tell you?"
Jimmy crossed his heart. "I would never. Scout's honor."
Taking a breath, Kyle slumped forward a bit. He ran his hand through his thick, red curls.
"My own girlfriend broke up with me recently as well." He admitted.
Jimmy frowned before reaching over and setting a comforting hand on his should. "I'm s-sorry. That must be difficult."
Kyle shrugged a little. "The reason I know who you are as a comedian is that I took Heidi to one of your shows for her birthday. She really likes your anecdotes." He smiled softly at the memory for a moment. "I'd only knew you as a superhero until then, but you're really funny."
"Out of the spandex and in, Jimmy Valmer loves to make people smile." Jimmy dropped his hand to his lap. "So, if you don't mind telling me, w-wh-what happened between you two?"
Kyle's smile fell. He looked down at his hands. "An old...'friend' of ours convinced her of some things about me that aren't true." When he said 'friend', he clenched his jaw for a heartbeat. "So, she left me, and I'm one hundred percent sure that jackass only told her what he told her because he's still in love with her."
"She and you're ex-friend were a thing?" Jimmy asked.
He nodded sharply. "Unfortunately." His hands clenched into fists. "It's not fair. I'm a thousand times better for her than him. He's just a manipulative asshole!"
For just a fraction of a second, Jimmy swore he saw Kyle's eyes flash with a red glow. There was something familiar about it, but he couldn't place it.
Jimmy pushed the thought aside before he spoke. "I wish I could give you some advice here, but I th-think anything I have to say, you've probably already heard before."
Kyle let his shoulders slump forward. "You mean that sometimes people fall back into bad patterns? Or that bad people can hide how terrible they are?"
"Well, I was going to say you should try not to beat yourself up about it," Jimmy told him. "If this asshole is as bad as you say, then he wants you to feel t-terrible. If you instead stay strong and keep going on in your life, then you win."
Kyle blinked a few times as he mulled over Jimmy's words. "Yeah." He said slowly. "Yeah, that makes sense."
Jimmy flashed a smile. "And when everything c-cr-crashes and burns for him, Heidi will see you're still going strong and want to come back to someone who can actually be there for her."
Kyle's eyes sparkled. All the sorrow that plagued his posture seemed to lift, and he raised himself up straight. His lips turned upwards.
"Yeah, you're right. Heidi will see Cartman's an asshole sooner or later. Even if she doesn't want to date me anymore, at least I can be there for her to help, right? I'm still her friend, regardless."
"Hell yeah!" Jimmy pumped his fist up in solidarity.
The two shared wide grins before the train jerked to a stop. Kyle raised his head to look out the window to the station.
"Oh, it's my stop." He sounded a little disappointed. "I have to get home."
"Before you go!" Jimmy patted his pockets before pulling out a small notebook and pen. He flipped to a clean page then scribbled down a note before ripping it out.
Kyle took the note from his outstretched hand.
"What's this?"
"A ticket. If you ever need a smile, bring that to any of my shows," Jimmy explained. "Don't worry about security not letting you in. They know I do this all the time."
Kyle looked at the note then up at Jimmy. He nodded before folding it up and slipping it into his pocket.
"Thank you." Kyle waved as he headed out the door. "I'll be sure to drop by sometime soon."
"I l-look forward to seeing you!" Jimmy called, though the doors had already shut. He leaned back.
He wondered if Kyle would make up with his ex and start dating her again. If not, Jimmy thought he wouldn't mind trying to take Kyle out for a date himself. Someone like that didn't deserve to spend nights alone.
Especially when they didn't pigeonhole Jimmy as just a superhero but as a living, breathing, hilarious person.
A smile formed on his lips. He'd forgotten how nice it felt to be recognized for his personal talents, and not just his speed.
If Kyle showed up at his show, Jimmy vowed, he'd make sure he got a front row seat.
~~~~
AN: I headcanon in the superhero AU that at the very least Jimmy is Iron Man-ing it up and is totally out with his super and civilian IDs.
#south park#jyle#jimmy valmer#kyle brovlofski#fanfiction#one-shot#sp#kyle broflovski#the fractured but whole#tfbw#superhero au
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what i read in july
THAT’S MORE LIKE IT aka i’m finally out of the (relative) reading slump for good & my bro james joyce was there
men explain things to me, rebecca solnit
the original mansplaining essay is great, and still scarily relevant; the others in this collection (most on feminist issues) are also quite good; some aspects are a bit dated & problematic so be aware of that. 2.5/5
erschlagt die armen!, shumona sinha (tr. from french, not available in english)
short but very impactful novella about a young french woman, originally from india, who works as an interpreter in the asylum system and becomes more & more broken by this system of inhumane bureaucracy and suffering, until she snaps and hits a migrant over the head with a wine bottle. full of alienation and misery and beautiful but disturbing language - the title translates to ‘beat the poor to death’ so like. yeah. 3.5/5
fire & blood: a history of the targaryen family I, george r r martin
look, it’s a 700-page-long fake history book about a fictional ruling dynasty in a fictional world, and i’m just That Obsessed & Desperate about asoiaf (and i don’t even care about the targs That Much). anyway, now i know more about the targs than any ruling family from, you know, real history, which is like, whatever. this is pretty enjoyable if you are That Obsessed, although i will say that some bits are much better than others (there are some dry dull years even in everyone’s fav overly dramatic dragon-riding incest-loving family) and the misogyny really is. a lot. too much. way too much. BUT i did really like Good Best Queen Alysanne (her husband king joe harris is alright too i guess) and i found my new westerosi otp, cregan stark/aly blackwood, who both have Big Dick Energy off the fucking charts. 3.5/5 (+0.5 points for cregan and aly’s combined BDE)
the old drift, namwali serpell
hugely ambitious sprawling postcolonial nation-building novel about zambia, told thru three generations of three families, as well as a chorus of mosquitoes (consistently the best & smartest parts). there is A LOT going on, in terms of characters, of plot points, of references to history (the zambian space programme) and literature (finally my knowledge of heart of darkness paid off) and thematically, and honestly it was a bit too much, a bit too tangled & fragmented & drifty, and in the end i probably admire this book more than i liked it, but serpell’s writing is incredibly smart and funny and full of electrical sparks 3.5/5
a severed head, iris murdoch
the original love dodecahedron (not that i counted). iris murdoch is fucking WILD and i love her for it. this is a strange darkly funny little farce about some rich well-educated londoners and their bizarre & rather convoluted love lives. not as grandiosely wild as the sea the sea, but fun nevertheless. 3/5
midnight in chernobyl, adam higginbotham
jumping on the hype bandwagon caused by the hbo series (very weird to call the current fascination with chernobyl a hype bandwagon but you know). interesting & well-written & accessible (tho the science is still totally beyond me) & gets you to care about the people involved. lots of human failure, lots of human greatness, set against the background of the almost eldritch threat of radioactivity (look up the elephant foot & see if you don’t get chills), and acute radiation syndrome which is THE MOST TERRIFYING THING ON EARTH . 3.5/5
normal people, sally rooney
honestly this is incredibly engrossing & absorbing once you get used to how rooney completely ignores ‘show don’t tell’ (it works!), i pretty much read the whole thing in one slow workday (boss makes a dollar, i make a dime so i read books on my phone on company time, also i genuinely had nothing to do). i also think rooney is really good at precisely capturing the ~millenial experience in a way that feels very true, especially the transition from school to uni. BUT i really disliked the ending, the book never engages with the political themes it introduces (esp. class and gender) as deeply as it could and the bdsm stuff never really gets TIED UP LOL. so overall idk: 3.5/5
störfall: nachrichten eines tages, christa wolf
quiet reflective undramatic little book narrated by a woman waiting to hear about the outcome of her brother’s brain surgery on the day of the catastrophe at chernobyl - throughout the day she puts down her thoughts about her brother and the events unfolding at chernobyl, as well as the double uncertainty she is trying to cope with. really interesting to read such an immediate reaction to chernobyl (the book came out less than a year after chernobyl). 2.5/5
the man in the high castle, philip k dick
it was fine? quick & entertaining alternative history where the axis powers win the war, some interesting bits of worldbuilding (like the draining of the mediterranean which was apparently a real idea in the early 20th century?) but overall it’s just felt a bit disjointed & unsatisfying to me. 2.5/5
fugitive pieces, anne michaels
very poetic & thoughtful novel about the holocaust, grief, remembrance & the difference between history and memory, intergenerational trauma, love, geology and the weather. i’m not sure how much this comes together as a novel, but it is absolutely beautifully written (the author is a poet as well) and very affective. 3.5/5
american innovations, rivka galchen
short collection of bizarre & often funny short stories about neurotic women whose furniture flies away, or who grow an extra breast, or who are maybe too occupied with financial details. very vague & very precise at once, which seems to be the thing with these sort of collections. 3/5
fool’s assassin (fitz & the fool #1), robin hobb
YAASS i’m back in the realm of the elderlings!!! i thought this was one of the weaker installments in the series - i still enjoyed it a lot, and Feelings were had, but it just doesn’t quite fit together pacing-wise & some of the characterisation struck me as off (can i get some nuance for shun & lant please?) and tbh fitz is at peak Selfcentred Dumbass Levels & it drove me up the fucking wall. molly, nettle & bee deserve better. still, completely HYPE for the rest of the trilogy. 3.5/5
JAMES JOYCE JULY
note: i decided not to read dubliners bc it’s my least fav of joyce’s major works & too bleak & repetitive for my mood right now AND while i planned not to reread finnegans wake bc……. it’s finnegans wake…. i kinda do want to read it now (but i also. really don’t.) so idk yet.
a portrait of the artist as a young man, james joyce
y’all. i read this book at least once a year between the ages of 15 and 19, it’s beyond formative, it is burnt into my brain, and reading it now several years later it is still everything, soaring and searing (that searing clarity of truth, thanks burgess) and poetic and dirty, and stephen is baby, and a pretentious self-important little prick and i love him & i am him (or was him as only a pretentious self-important teenage girl reading joyce can be him - because this truly is a book that should be read in your late teens when you feel everything as intensely and world-endingly and severely as my boy stephen does and every new experience feels like the world changing). anyway i love this book & i love stephen dedalus, bird-like, hawk-like, knife-blade, aloof, alienated, severe and stern, a poet-priest-prophet if he could ever get over himself, baby baby baby. 5/5
exiles, james joyce
well. there’s a reason joyce is known as a novelist. this is….. a failed experiment, maybe. a fairly boring play about an adulterous love-square and uh… love beyond morality and possession maybe??? about how much it would suck for joyce to return to ireland??? and tbh it’s not terribly interesting. 2/5
travesties, tom stoppard
a wild funny irreverent & smart antic comedy inspired by the fact that during ww1, james joyce, lenin, and dadaist tristan tzara were all in neutral zurich, more or less simultaneously; they probably never met, but in this play they do, as dadaist poetry, socialist art critique, and a james joyce high on his own genius & in desperate need of some cash while writing ulysses, AND the importance of being earnest (joyce is putting on a production of it) all collide in the memories of henry carr, who played algernon & later sued joyce over money (tru facts). not my fav stoppard (that’s arcadia) but it’s funny & fizzy & smart & combines many many things that i love. 4/5
ulysses, james joyce
look i’m not really going to tell y’all anything new about ulysses, but it really has everything, it’s warm & human(e) & cerebral & difficult & funny & sad & healing & i always get a lot out of it even tho there’s bits (a lot of them) i’ll never wrap my head around. ultimate affirmation of humanity or whatever. also stephen dedalus is baby. 5/5
dedalus, chris mccabe
the fact that this book (sequel to ulysses about what stephen dedalus might have done the next day) exists and was published ON MY BIRTHDAY is proof that the universe loves me.
anyway this is very very good, very very clever, extremely good at stephen (less good at bloom but his parts are still good), engages w/ ulysses, portrait & hamlet (& others) very cleverly & does some cool meta and experimental shit. y’all it has stephen talking to a contemporary therapist about how he’s stuck in joyce’s text which is all about joyce & very little about whoever stephen is when he’s not joyce’s alter ego/affectionate but slightly amused look at younger self and ithaca is an interview w/ the author about how his relationship to his dad influenced his response to ulysses and I’M INTO IT. the oxen of the sun chapter replaces the whole ‘gestation of english prose’ w/ just slightly rewriting the first pages of about 10 novels published between ulysses and now & it does lolita w/ “bloom, thorn of stephen’s sleep, light in his eyes. his sire, his son’ and i lit. screamed. anyway i don’t want to give this 5 stars (yet) bc i think some of the experimental stuff ended up a bit gimmicky & didn’t add that much to the text but fuck. that’s my boy & i want to reread it right now. 4.5/5
ALSO it’s a crime no literary weirdo woman has written ‘a portrait of the artist’s sister’ about delia ‘dilly’ dedalus, shadow of stephen’s mind, quick far & daring, teaching herself french from a 3rd hand primer while her father drinks the nonexistent family fortune away and her older brother is getting drunk on a beach & starting fights w/ soldiers bc he’s a smartarse
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