#I can handle ONE person's incorrect projections | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ncteez · 1 year

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philoselene (k.h.j)

You weren’t sure what to think of Hongjoong, with his ever-changing hair and ever-growing piercings. He is the complete opposite of you, and you’re unsure of why he keeps gravitating toward you, or why he found an interest in you at all. Through his eyes though, he swears you’d be able to handle the weight of the moon if he were to pull it down for you.

or the one where hongjoong would do just about anything for you, and he can’t help but show it when he’s got you on top of him for the first time.

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog.

WORDCOUNT― 6.2k

PAIRING― alt!stoner!hongjoong x afab reader

CONTENT― some weed smoking and moon gazing happen, a little bit of them struggling to translate their thoughts into words that make sense, very fluffy stuff, he’s a little shy about his body, service top hongjoong, first time together, intensely passionate smut

NOTE― just fyi, i know the description makes it seem like the reader is insecure. I can assure you, she is not. It’s just two people learning that they fit together like a puzzle, and wanting to know each other’s thought processes. anyway, im very in love with hongjoong and that’s why I basically just wrote comfort smut. BYE. not proof read so pls dont point out my typos, ill actually cry.

smut tags under cut::

smut tags― makeout sessions, they’re really really high so the experience is kind of slow motion, frottage, sweet-talking rather than dirty talking, brief mutual masturbation, missionary on a couch, he’s a service top but it’s not heavily described here bc like– he’s just hella into her and feels good no matter what she does, ummm, unprotected sex bc im lazy

The man whose hair changes at each new moon cycle, the one who smells like winter but has the eyes of a smoldering flame spreading to a forest fire. Both his charm and his wit are entirely unmatched if anyone you’ve ever met in your life is to go by. His hands are the most gentle, and goddamn does he know how to dress to piss off the local business owners.

A new ear piercing for him usually meant heartbreak, be it a lost friend, a failed project, or even an incorrect lunch order at the run-down diner across town. Everything about Hongjoong is telling. He is not mysterious, nor does he want to be.

You, on the other hand, are the complete opposite in terms of how you carry yourself. You worry too much, your posture is slouched when it shouldn’t be, your confidence wavers more often than you’d like to admit, and you keep to yourself most of the time. Minimizing yourself, snuffing out any flame or glow that threatens to show to anyone less than a close friend. You dress much like your personality, muted.

This is why you question the dynamic on each date you end up on with Hongjoong. Dinner dates, movie dates, walks in the park. Normal. fucking. dates. The dynamic between the two of you is anything but natural to you. Time after time now, seeing him after sunset looking at you much like he would if he were seeking out constellations, you feel like you’re not a person meant to be looked at this way. You’ll never get used to another person wanting to spend this time with you, like they’re finding comfort in your silence. What do you have that seems to fulfill him?

Even now, six hours after the date started, you find yourself next to Hongjoong and his bright smile. The small rolled joint burned out minutes ago, and the dull city skyline bursts with pinks and purples from the sunset. His smile is one that is entirely soft and focused on you. All of his attention, on you. The one thing in the world you hate, he gives to you and makes you feel as though you don’t hate it nearly as much as you did before meeting him.

“Hongjoong,” You whisper into the brisk air, bumping your leg against his as he tilts his chin up as if to let you know he’s listening to whatever you want to say. “This is our– what? Seventh date?”

He nods with a hum.

“First time at my place though, so we can still call it a first date.” He offers, reaching his arms out and feeling the stretch of his muscles relax him. His arms fall back to his side and his eyes fall back on you.

Never have you had this many first dates, nor has any man treated each date as such.

“Why do you do that?” You laugh, slouching back against the weathered wicker couch, the balcony offering both the most wonderful and shitty view of the city.

“Do what?” He asks, turning slightly towards you with a curious look.

“Like, I don’t know,” you trail off, for some reason unable to look him in the eye as you continue to spiral into the slow and fuzzy high that his weed offers to you. He looks insanely attractive tonight, especially in this lighting. The colors somehow glow against his skin, contrasting with the dark and plush sweater he has on. It’s weathered much like this wicker furniture, but you imagine he’s comfortable inside of that sweater, sitting on this furniture, breathing in the same air you’re breathing out. “You always call each date the first one, I’m wondering when it’ll be, like, something more than that?”

You can hear yourself talking and you can’t help but think you sound fucking stupid, but he chuckles in response.

“I probably sound lame saying it but, I like that I learn something new about you each time. It’s not my fault that it always feels like a first date with you.” He laughs, making a face towards you that makes you laugh a bit louder than expected.

“You act like I have something new and interesting to tell you every day,” He cuts you off as you try to speak.

“For instance, today I learned that you don’t even like the coffee I bring to you.” He’s snide when he says it, raising a brow at you.

“What? Yes, I do!” You defend, definitely lying as you feel your stomach hit the concrete floor of his balcony. You’ve always been a terrible liar.

“Is that why you always leave it in my cup holder pretending like you forgot it?”

You narrow your eyes at him but can’t keep up the act much longer as the smile creeps wider across your lips.

“You’re too observant of me,” You joke, not realizing how true it actually is. “You know I usually spend my days avoiding the idea of people noticing what I do, right?”

He nods towards you, face fond and droopy from his high.

“I think you’re cute when you notice that I notice,” he blinks away from you, watching the sun fall and the moon take its rightful spot in the sky. “Besides, if you don’t like it, you’d stop letting me take you out, right?”

He’s actually looking for confirmation this time, not looking at you, and mostly preparing for the make-it-or-break-it moment now that you’ve finally worked up the courage to stop going with his flow.

“I think I’m just confused over you wanting to spend time with me at all, actually.” You admit, knowing for a fact that you appear to be the most boring human alive, and not many people stick around to find the actual personality within you.

Hongjoong looks at you this time, genuinely shocked that you’d even say that or feel confused over why he chooses to spend time with you.

“Well, I can go down a list of reasons, if you want?”

You prop yourself up, fixing your posture and wiggling your brows.

“Please, do.” You say, feeling a permanent smile form on your face.

Hongjoong claps his hands on his thighs before lifting his legs and turning on the wicker couch to face you, tucking himself into the smallest version of himself as he huddles into his oversized sweater.

“Alright, for starters, you’re not as boring as you think you are. What person would have climbed that no-trespassing fence with me without asking a single question?”

He’s just gloating at you now. Most people would absolutely do that with him.

“Literally, anyone would have done that with you.”

He waves you off.

“You like the same anime I like and the same music. You even knew of the band I was in during my senior year of high school!”

You nod, he’s got a point there.

“You’re not loud or constantly demanding attention. I like that you just kind of exist. Sometimes I just need to exist too, but people always expect more, you know?”

Hongjoong’s eyes trail off, landing on the darkening sky and seeking out the moon.

“When we hang out, I feel like there’s nothing we actually need to do in order to call it a date. You’re the only person I’ve continuously taken out. You’ve made it clear that you expect nothing from me.”

You nod, but tilt your head in question as your own eyes follow his gaze to the moon.

“So, it makes me want to give you everything.”

Unsure of if it’s the weed talking through him or if he meant what he just said, you still find yourself melting a bit at his voice when he says it. The words feel like they hold a lot of weight for him, and you didn’t even know that weight existed until now.

“Do you always say these types of things when the moon is in the right position, and the weed is dank as hell?”

He snorts, tucking his chin into his chest as he laughs before reaching out and swatting you on the shoulder.

“What I’m trying to get at here, because I know by now that you’re not going to pick up on any hints is that I kind of want this to be the last first date.”

You find yourself panicking at that, unsure of what the fuck that’s supposed to mean. Hongjoong instantly regrets his awful attempt at wording that. “Unmatched wit” his ass, he can genuinely say the dumbest shit in the most important situations.

“Wait–” He pauses, mouth falling slack as he visibly searches his brain for the correct words. “Okay, let me rephrase that.”

You wait, feeling relieved at his panic and the slow recovery of what he just said to you.

“What I meant by last first date, is like, um–” It’s lost on him again as you watch his eyes squint into a smile instead, the sparkle of his eyes matching the glints from his various earrings. “I’m trying to ask you to be my girlfriend, fuck.”

This. This is another reason why he likes you this much. Though he saw your eyes fall, and though he said what he needed to say incorrectly at first, you didn’t question him. You didn’t put words in his mouth or react in a way that wouldn’t allow his own recovery. His ability to talk to women right now is highly reduced, but his ability to talk to you is forever comfortable even when he fucks up. You let him fuck that up, and now you’re smiling at him and he can’t help but let his heart swell three times its original size.

“So,” he coughs, looking back to the moon and then back at you. “I guess we can’t have any more first dates if every time we see each other, we are technically, like, dating, right?”

You snort at his inability to string together a coherent sentence, knowing full well that both of you have the ability to navigate everyday conversations high. Given the fact that the two of you have been in public before pretending like you didn’t just hotbox his car. It’s just that, this isn’t an everyday conversation and you’d like to think that you probably sound like an idiot too. You’re somehow right there with him even if you feel like you’re on two different pages of two different books.

“You have a point,” you say, managing to fit his words into a sentence that makes sense in your brain. “Delivery could have been better though.”

The lighting on his cheekbones says enough about his own permanent smile matching yours. If you believed in fairytales, you’d genuinely think that the two of you are in your own little world with nothing but the moon and expensive ass weed.

“You’re supposed to say yes, by the way.” Hongjoong urges you, both of you kind of entering into a giggle fit because of the warmth spreading throughout your bodies.

You nod, agreeing that, yes, you’ll definitely be his girlfriend.

The first kiss with Hongjoong may have been the warmest you’ve ever felt. It was smooth, a little peckish, and overall quite sweet. Even over the weeks he had been taking you out, he never once kissed you or did little more than be some of the best company you could find yourself with. The first kiss taking place after making things official was something you weren’t used to.

And so, that first kiss on his balcony became a second kiss, and then a third and fourth, until the two of you moved into his living room to escape the breeze that had by then made your fingers cold. Fifth, sixth, seventh– and then finally, the eight kiss was one that could have meshed all of the kisses in your life into one. The first heated kiss.

His couch became more comfortable than it was when you first came here, especially now with him beside you, cradling your face and leaving gentle kisses all along your jawline before trailing back to your lips. He’s your boyfriend now and for some reason, you don’t feel yourself doubting why that is. He is proving to you right now how much he likes you, and you try to do the same for him. Your hazy eyes are unable to stay open for too long under the pressure of his lips fluttering all over your face, and you feel loved for the first time in a long time.

It didn’t feel awkward to reach up with your eyes closed to try and put your fingers in his hair, even when you accidentally knocked him on the cheek instead. It didn’t feel like an alarm went off when he tugged at you to pull you over him, leaning himself back on the couch and reaching blindly for the tv remote to avoid the silence in the room save for lips smacking.

For the first time with another person, you felt safe and at home when his hands were roaming your body.

Both jackets were already off, and your cold fingers warmed up in his as he would eventually intertwine his fingers with yours as he kissed you. It didn’t feel rushed, and maybe it was just because you both were in a lazy state of peaked high, but you can almost feel every single touch be amplified. You’d be lying if you said your entire body wasn’t tingling. More silent than it has ever been between the two of you, it still feels like it’s where you should be.

Hongjoong’s fingers in yours, his lips on yours, his tongue licking against yours, all of it is good. The sensations swam throughout your body to the point that you barely even notice that you’re turned on.

Is it too much on the…what was it, seventh date? Is it too much on the first night of being his girlfriend after your first and eighth or thirteenth kiss? His lips are curled into this permanent little smile that tells you otherwise. He’s the one who pulled you on top of him, he’s the one who hasn’t pushed because he somehow knew you were enjoying the steamy make out session too much to let it end here.

There’s no end goal at this moment with Hongjoong, nothing is telling you that you need to get off or get him off despite your body already tingling for it. There’s no rush with the man under you, with his moon-like eyes and messy dyed hair. He’s just as telling as he always has been, and without a word, you know that at this moment, he would take anything you give him and be perfectly content.

“I can see you thinking, you know,” Hongjoong whispers, his fingers tightening their grip between your own. “We can just do this, I’m perfectly fine with just this.”

You shake your head at him, squeezing his fingers and looking at him for a brief moment. Seeing him now like this, with his kissed lips and his hair just as messy as always, it hits you again that he’s yours. Not in a way that’s possessive, but like, he wants to be yours, and he wants you to be his.

Your eyes glance down to his lap, with his length sitting firmly between your legs and it makes your heart swell. Typically, men in this position would push you, pull you, and move you around on their arousal to try and get some sort of release but, not Hongjoong. He’s containing himself, assuring you that you don’t have to do anything more. Regardless of you sitting on his thighs, dangerously close to being able to please him this way.

“Do you want more, though?” You ask him.

His eyes are half-lidded and looking up at you as you speak, glancing down to your lips again as if he already misses them. You can see his answer in the silence, his grip on your hand tightening as his brain malfunctions at the very idea of you being the one to ask. He wants more for the sake of having you, but he also wants more for the sake of pleasing you.

“Yeah?” You ask for confirmation of his silent answer, leaning down to kiss against the corner of his mouth before leaning back again.

He gives you a reassuring nod, his other hand snaking around your waist and pulling you closer to him, onto his hardened length with a soft mewl at you.

“I do,” he whispers against your ear, nuzzling his nose against your neck and trying to prevent his hips from bucking up as you sit on him. “I can give you more, too.”

The way he says it to you with a soft rasp makes your stomach do flips, almost as if he’s pleading for you to let him, it makes your entire body tingle. Never has a man made you feel this way when you’re being intimate. You suppose Hongjoong is right though, from what he said before, about how almost every date appears to be the first one with the number of new things you learn about each other.

You don’t need to respond to him though, because almost immediately after those words you turn your face slightly to kiss his temple, and he instantly releases your hand and puts it on the other side of your waist. Practically caging you against him as he holds you in place and dips back in to kiss you.

Within that kiss, you can hear his need. Throaty groans as he presses his length against you. Only the sound of fabric rubbing against fabric can be heard but it’s kind of a pretty sound. His weathered sweater feels warm when you tangle your fingers into the loosened fringe along his neck like, trying to work your hips to match his within this tight hug.

By the time he notices that you’re moving your hips on him, his grip loosens and he pulls back from the kiss, watching you pull yourself up and planting your arms on his shoulders to actually grind against him.

He runs his hands up and down your waist at this point, eyes watching the way you work yourself against him with a deep and burning fondness. He appears to be in awe, a crooked smirk appearing on his softened and kissed lips.

“You know,” Hongjoong chuckles softly, closing one eye and focusing on the feeling of the dry drag against him.. “It might just be because I’m high but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good with denim practically rubbing me raw–”

Your hips stop, and you try to ignore the fact that on any other day, those words would have absolutely ruined the mood, but for some reason, it doesn’t. You let out a breathy laugh, falling forward and laughing against his neck. The moon must be in the right position or something tonight, because everything does feel insanely good. Then again, maybe it’s just that he’s in the right position, or maybe it’s just you.

“Why would you–” You cut yourself off as you laugh, breathing in the scent of him once more before leaning back and backing off of his lap slightly. The look he gives you is nothing but fond and it kind of makes you feel more dazed than you already do. “Let's take them off then?”

Hongjoong gives you a polite nod, his hands releasing you but still chasing your warmth as you pull yourself off of him and wait for him to remove his pants.

He’s quick with it, of course, and you take it another step further to take yours off too, not looking him in the eye as you do it. Almost to hope that he doesn’t see you do it, to hope that he won’t think about it, or smile at it, or make a comment on it.

Thankfully, he doesn’t and when you sit back on his lap, feeling his bare legs against yours and noting how fucking warm his skin is, all you can do is pretend like feeling someone else’s skin against yours is supposed to feel fleeting like this.

Your panties sit against his boxers now, and his warmth seeps through you so fast that you want to feel more. See more, touch more, kiss more, love more. You don’t hesitate to loop your fingers into a particularly big rip on his sweater and tug on it.

“This too?” He tilts his head, his own hand fiddling with the same rip that your fingers are intertwined with, and then looks away shyly..

All you can do is feel yourself spiraling further into the feeling of being with him. He’s got one strand of hair standing stiffly too, probably from the static of the couch rubbing against it, but it’s cute. It’s attractive, everything about him is attractive.

His eyes continue to avoid your eyes when he lifts his sweater off of him, shivering at the cool apartment air hitting his skin all over rather than just through those rips and tears. You take note, especially when he does look at you and pulls you down into a kiss again as quickly as he can. He’s not letting you see him like this, bare from the waist up and almost from the waist down.

The two of you must have been one soul at one point because you know what he’s doing and never have you had to be the one on the other side of this situation. Usually, you’re the one hiding when it feels overwhelming, you’re the one imagining that the person with you would be searching for imperfections. You pull back from his kiss, looking into his eyes before glancing down at his bare chest and stomach.

“You’re being shy,” You comment, leaning down to plant a kiss on his collarbone before looking back at him and tilting your head. “You’re never shy.”

You work up the confidence in yourself now, lifting your shirt off and doing your best not to immediately mimic what he’s already done. Meaning, you don’t hide your exposed skin and instead, you try to sit proudly on top of him.

Hongjoong just watches, his lips falling slack at your bareness with a relieved sigh.

“How can I not be shy right now?” he smiles, leaning himself up this time and kissing against the plush flesh of your breast.

You sigh at the feeling of his lips against your chest, fingers automatically finding their way into his hair as you focus on the feeling. The emotion of it all sends you into overdrive because really? Everything about Hongjoong is loud, and you’re making him shy?

The goosebumps continuously rise and fall as he works his lips across one breast to the other, up until his fingers are pushing the fabric of your bra to the side. He pulls back momentarily to look at them, eyes darting from one nipple to the other before looking up at your face.

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.” Hongjoong admits, dipping in and flicking one of your nipples with his tongue.

“Oh?” You ask, officially grinding your hips again on his lap, feeling his cock twitch in his boxers. The drag feels lighter now that there’s not much fabric preventing the feeling. “For how long?”

“Third date,” he admits, trailing back to the other breast and sucking just next to your nipple, his other hand easily stimulating the one he just neglected. “Didn’t want to rush with you though, I’m always rushing.”

You hum at his words, feeling special. All he makes you feel is special. And when he finally releases your chest from his mouth and falls back against the couch, even the way he looks at you confirms that your feelings about this aren’t unfounded.

You put more effort into your hips now, your mind spinning by this point at the way his touches are gentle. His chest rises and falls with each perfect drag up his length, small mewls of pleasure spilling from his lips every few seconds. Still, he just looks at you.

There’s really no rush here and the scary part about it is that you’re already so worked up that you wouldn’t mind a bit of rushing by this point.

More and more you move your hips, and more and more Hongjoong appears to lose his composure. His hands gripping at you, his eyes unable to stay on one part of your body for too long, his teeth showing as he bites his lip just to compose himself from making the next step– and then–

There it is. There he is, lunging forward and grabbing you, pulling you so close to him that your core is now seated directly on the head of his leaking cock. He moans at the pressure, kissing against your lips with so much passion that you wonder if he know’s how hot that was.

He’s lost in the moment and you can’t help but love it. With the way one of his hands holds your cheek as he kisses you and the other finds itself against your ass to push and pull you on his lap. At this point, you wonder if he could get off this way. With the way he’s acting, you think he could. Easily.

“Hongjoong,” You manage to gasp during the short breath between his frantic kiss. “We can–”

You’re cut off by him kissing you again, his hand guiding you down and forward on his length in a way that tells you he’s listening. He’s imagining what you’re about to say.

“We can,” He groans in an answer to your unfinished question, taking in a deep breath when he pulls back from the kiss and looking down to see the head of his cock occasionally peeking from the waistband of his boxers. “Just tell me what you want.”

Words escape you in that moment, so you use your body instead. Scooting back and almost taking the boxers with you you see a glimpse of his length. Heavy, leaking, twitching at the loss of your weight against it. You stare, wanting to devour this man whole at that moment but you hold back. You can give him head another time, honestly. After spending so long making out, grinding, and him playing with your breasts? You’re kind of ready to rush. Even just for a moment.

He watches your hands as they lower the boxers further, pulling them down until you can tuck them under your thighs to hold them in place. There, you just look at his cock and he just looks at you.

After a few seconds, you glance at him with shy eyes, blinking in a way to try and hide your blatant lust for what’s between his legs. He might believe that seeing you look at him this way is the best thing he’s ever experienced. His cock twitches unintentionally when he notices your blown pupils, especially when his eyes trail down. Now that the seat of your panties isn’t grinding against him, he can see a glimpse of the darkened wet spot.

Now what to do? The two of you sitting here, horny out of your goddamn mind and the weed on top of it amplifying every touch, you can imagine that you both look like a pair of deer in headlights.

Hongjoong finishes what you started though, running his hand down your sides before grabbing himself and gently pumping once. You watch as he gathers the dripping pre-cum in his palm before smoothing it down his entire length while his eyes never leave the spot between your legs. Then he continues that, touching himself as you’re on him as if to tell you that he can finish himself off so you don’t have to.

Without really thinking, you find your own hand doing the same, sliding down your panties and the instant your fingers bump against your clit, you jolt and find yourself letting out a soft and pained moan at the sensitivity.

“That–” Hongjoong takes in a sharp breath at the sound, squeezing the base of his cock with his hand and closing his eyes. “sounded so fucking pretty.”

It wasn’t intentional and for a brief moment, you felt embarrassed by the sound. Once again though, Hongjoong pulls that confidence out of you like it’s what he was born to do. At this point though, your legs feel like jelly after being spread on top of him for so long and you think he can tell.

“Mm, let’s move,” He comments, releasing his cock and tapping you with the other hand to stand up. “Lay back, I'll do the rest.”

He gently instructs you, grabbing a pillow and placing it at the end of the couch for your head to lay against. You do so without question, both your legs and heart are weak at seeing him like this.

“There, better?” He asks after you lay back. He leans over your side after a short nod from you and leaves a gentle kiss against your lips before placing his hand against your thigh. “Can I take these off?”

You nod, feeling him slip your panties down your legs before you watch him shimmy off his own boxers.

There, there it is. Both of you are entirely vulnerable to each other for the first time and you don’t feel a hint of wanting to stop. Not a worry, doubt, or insecurity can or will stop you at this moment.

He doesn’t let his eyes linger for too long at your exposed core just yet and instead he opts to place himself between your legs before leaning down and kissing you much like before. He can’t get enough of your lips if he’s being honest though.

You can feel the weight of his cock resting between your thigh and pussy and it does nothing more than make you want it more. You want him so bad by this point that you can’t really question how dumb you could sound actually asking for it.

“Can you, like–” Your words are lost on you when he pulls back with a small smile and a curious look.

“Do you want to?” He asks, despite knowing this is where the situation was headed.

You give a shy nod, reaching your hand down between the two of you and gripping him yourself for the first time.

He lets out a shaky breath with a laugh, humping his hips forward and into your hand intentionally when he does it.

“Fuck,” He seethes out. “Yeah, okay.” He sighs this time, without shame still fucking himself into your hand and showing a desperate need for what you’re asking for.

You can’t help but get lost in it. Your hand guided his cock down and against your clit for a brief moment of sensitive relief before releasing a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding when you position him at your entrance.

He pushes in without holding back, but he’s slow with it. The head of his cock sank into the warm and clenched walls causing a pleasant stretch. Both of you let out a moan at this, feeling him push in slowly, continuously, until he’s bottomed out and nuzzling against your ear.

“Sound so pretty when you moan,” he babbles against your ear, leaving wet and warm condensation from his breath there. “You could drive me insane like this.”

You moan again, not entirely for his pleasure but simply because it feels so good. His cock pulsing inside of you when you clench around him, his soft voice in your ear. Sensory overload has never felt so fucking euphoric to you.

“Like that, yeah.” Hongjoong rasps out this time, pulling his head back in time with his hips. Almost emptying you entirely before pushing back in with that same languid drag of his hips. His eyes are on you now though, arms at either side of your head as he works up a lazy kind of rhythm. One that offers a deep thrust each time.

You can’t help the sounds that fall from your lips, and you can’t help that your pussy is throbbing around him, and certainly, you can’t help that the feeling of one of his hands moving to your chest before dipping his head down and sucking against it makes you moan out a bit louder.

With each moan, he almost mimics you with his own. He’s riding off of the pleasure he’s giving to you. Then again, he’s always been fond of pretty sounds. Music is his passion but hearing you make such delicate sounds for him makes his head spin in all sorts of directions.

His thrusts become more pointed after a few minutes, fucking into you at a pace that feels equally as deep but more powerful now. Your hands grip at anything you can get ahold of, meaning, you grip him. His arms, his back, and then finally you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down.

His hips stutter at that before he grabs one of your legs and hikes it up and around his waist. This allows him to position himself slightly differently, fucking into you at an angle as his lips immediately fall to yours with a breathy laugh.

You can’t kiss him back this time though, with the new angle he’s driving into you causing his cock to bump repeatedly against a soft spot inside of you. Your mouth is left slack, releasing empty moans against his attempts to kiss you.

He takes intense note of it, keeping up his pace and falling in love with the way you react to this angle. His hands find purchase above your head and he leans back to watch you as he fucks into you.

“God,” He says slightly out of breath, dipping in briefly to kiss you on the forehead. “I’m going to come in about five seconds if you keep doing this.”

Your eyes roll back slightly at his words and instantly you’re shoving your hand between the two of you to push yourself over the edge. He swats your hand away though, still fucking into you all while intertwining his fingers with yours and using his other hand to do the work for you.

“Fuck, I can’t get enough of you,” He says, rubbing his fingers in harsh circles around your sensitive clit. “Let me take care of you,” he adds in a huff, his hips becoming more frantic each time he feels your pussy tense around him.

Just like that, you’re releasing in waves with trembling legs. To the point that you throw your other leg around his waist and essentially push him into you with such force that he can’t even thrust anymore. You hold him there, riding out your high and struggling to comprehend the fact that this man isn’t always attached to you like this.

He lays there, his head forced into the crook of your neck as he feels you come around him, clenching him so tightly that he can’t really help it either. Your warm and wet pussy is absolutely soaking him and all he can do is let it. All he can do is feel it, to the point that he’s driven over the edge too.

Even when you release your death grip hug, he stays in place, nuzzling further against your neck with choked moans and tight presses of his hips. He’s trying to drive his cock deeper than it can go as he releases it, the feeling too good for him to think straight. You run your fingers through his hair as he does it, trailing your fingernails down to his neck and across his back.

You can feel the goosebumps on his skin under your fingers, and when his body finally goes limp on top of you, all you can do is continue that motion. Scratching, rubbing, soothing him through both of your post-orgasm brain fog.

Becoming Hongjoong’s girlfriend was something that should have been expected if you’re being honest. It should be a normal relationship, with normal arguments, and normal sex. Except it’s not.

The relationship is anything but normal but you’d like to say you prefer it this way. With the late night dates to empty parking lots just to be outside of your own spaces, the gas station runs where the two of you need to buy every snack known to man to satiate your munchies. The repeat tv shows playing on his television because you never quite catch what happened in episode six despite watching in four times. To be fair, episode six always comes on when you’re almost entirely wrapped up with your boyfriend.

His hands are always stained with hair dye because he can’t be bothered to wear gloves, your hands are stained with hair dye too because you can’t not run your fingers through it when he’s between your legs. He’s always adding color to your life, be it literally or emotionally.

There’s something strange about the way he balances you. In public with him, all attention is on his ripped clothes and shining piercings and a quirk of the brow always comes when they see you holding his hand.

You kind of like the attention these days though.

#hongjoong smut #kim hongjoong smut #ateez smut

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orange-orchard-system · 2 months

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Continuing this little vent-fest of mine, I really hate how people will just... absorb whatever misinformation they hear about DID. Like, sure, I get it, you want to believe the person who has the stigmatized disorder when they talk about it. But sometimes people with the disorder are just fucking wrong, too. Sometimes we also need to unlearn our biases, incorrect assumptions, and ideas that sound right but actually aren't. We're not a perfectly unbiased group. We're not granted omnipresence about every presentation and facet of our disorder.

And it frustrates me so much because it's always framed as though the people correcting the misinformation are evil, ableist bigots. As if we're the problem and not trying to handle a situation before it gets out of hand and people get hurt. They'll always absorb the misinformation because the person spreading it has DID but anyone fucking correcting it is "clocked" as a faker lying for unspecified malicious reasons. Omfg. Grow the fuck up and admit that you just uncritically absorbed the first thing you heard about whatever aspect of the disorder we're talking about this time. Grow the fuck up and accept that DID is complex and involves a lot of phenomena that might sound far-fetched at first. Especially when it comes to the complex ways we might be traumatized and show the effects of our trauma, are you kidding me. You are not immune to misinformation. You are not immune to exclusionism. You are not immune to hurting people in the name of protecting them.

I did eventually end up reaching out to the person who reblogged that post calling a specific subset of systems, as well as a specific form of abuse, a conspiracy theory. No word back as of yet. But I'm going to try to let it go and focus on my own projects for right now, because that is a ball of yarn I am not going to untangle overnight, but I can at least start sharpening the scissors for someone else to cut through it one day. Confrontation is not my strong suit, and I'm tired of being treated like shit for trying to correct misinformation about the disorder I work to destigmatize. Best to focus my efforts elsewhere.

If you've dealt with this kind of thing, seen this kind of post where people will spread the most obviously incorrect shit because they don't want to accept all the complexities and unusualities of DID, my heart goes out to you. It sucks. But I refuse to believe that it's going to be this way forever. No matter how fruitless it may seem, we are making headway in awareness, understanding, and acceptance. Some asshats who want to stick their head in the sand and only accept the most simplified, sanitized version of this messy and varied disorder are not going to stop us from making a place in the world for ourselves.

Keep your head high and your mind open. We're gonna make it through this shit.

#front soup.txt #plurality #pluralgang #actuallyplural #plural system #actuallydid #did #calico.txt #disableism

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inkblot22 · 2 months

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Idia and the expression of displeasure

Uh, shoutout to that guy who I thought was my friend, asked me if I wanted to hook up despite being over 1000 some-odd miles away, despite me being very openly not that into men and, more importantly, telling him very clearly that I have no interest in dating him specifically. You're so cool for that, man. I just love to feel like an object. The "something about me" is the crippling c-PTSD, anxiety, and possible psychotic illness rotting my brain and your reading of me as a "Creepy Goth Chick", thank you.

Anyway, I hope I was able to direct that shitty man behavior onto our beloved Idia. I did tag you, it's later on and if you'd like me to remove it, I can absolutely do so, just let me know. Also all I can think about is this vine.

Dividers by @/cafekitsune

TW for verbal abuse, manipulation, emotional abuse, captivity, use of a shock collar, mention of physical abuse, Idia is an asshole, abusive relationship dynamics, lack of communication.

Idia is the type of person to believe he is pragmatic, when, in reality, he is rather mercurial. He will fly off the handle at the smallest thing but be completely unbothered by larger issues.

I imagine this could lead to a few problems for his dear, sweet partner. (By the way, I refer to Idia’s darling as his partner because that is what they have rationalized their situation to be, currently: they are Idia's captive partner. Idia doesn’t label them very often, and although he does call them his partner, he definitely sees them as an endearing pest, kind of. Despite them being there because of him, he often acts like they're a mouse or roach that popped up one day and he grew attached to.)

Idia is not the type to like striking or physically harming his partner. He’s the type to get rude and nasty, and play victim. This does not mean he doesn’t ever physically harm his partner.

See, that shock collar around their neck? We have previously established that this is connected to his technomantic energy, and his technomantic energy is connected to his inherent magic ability.

The collar is set up with a warning system. If Idia’s partner does anything he remotely dislikes or any set of pre-established actions that they are not made aware of, they will receive three low-voltage, quick-tap jolts of electricity right against the column of their pretty throat.

These actions include, but are not limited to: acting in any way to harm Ortho or Idia, attempting to harm themselves (this one had to be added after the hanger incident), walking too close to the door or the covered-up window, touching any of Idia’s current or past projects without permission, touching Idia’s gaming setup, ignoring Ortho (this only is put in place if Idia’s partner is hostile towards Ortho at any point, even just once) and refusing any food or drink given to them by Idia specifically. It's important to reiterate that Idia has not told his partner literally any of these rules. Much like the ways that some people train a dog, they have to learn the hard way.

After the three taps, Idia’s emotions and/or intentions dictate how intense the next shock is. Sometimes it’s a bored little zap, like a fourth warning to cut it out before he gets mad, sometimes it’s a rolling pulse that pulls them away from whatever they’re doing, sometimes it’s a tidal wave that literally brings them to their knees and makes them throw up. It really depends on the most annoying kidnapper in the world.

Idia is very aware that holding this person hostage because of his own predilections and perversions is a wildly morally incorrect thing to do, but Idia also doesn’t give a steaming shit. He’s been given what he wants, having grown up as a member of the upper crust, and if he doesn’t get it given to him, he finds a way to get it.

This means that, as much as we all love him, Idia is a whiny pisslord. The second his partner doesn’t do what he wants, he’s grumbling about it, he’s whining, playing victim, getting huffy.

While that might not sound bad, please remember that Idia’s partner has a bunch of exposed wires situated with the intent of shocking them around their neck at all times, and the shock collar is connected to Idia’s emotions. While getting shocked in a more violent manner isn’t very common for them, it can still happen, and therefore it's possibly best to do a little eggshell walking.

Besides that, it’s not very pleasant to be around someone who is so volatile, even if at their most disappointed they just complain for a few hours or days. Having to deal with someone else’s displeasure in life while being more or less unable to discuss your own does not do wonders for your mental health.

Let’s go over some scenarios and the punishments connected to them.

Idia has been playing some online fighting game all day, pretty much ignoring his partner. He hears them move during a cooldown between matches, turns around in his chair, and asks demands that they come over and let him kiss them a little. Of course, Idia’s partner declines. In this situation, Idia would usually get upset and complain about it for a while, name calling included. His words and mood definitely have the vibe of, “How dare you breathe around me and then not let me touch and kiss you. That’s just leading me on, breathing around me.”

Idia’s partner made some cup noodles while Idia was taking a nap after he raged all night and well into the afternoon. He wakes up and sees them sitting in his gaming chair, facing away from his computer and eating. In this situation, Idia would straight up zap them for two reasons. Number one, they didn’t make him anything to eat, and number two, they’re not supposed to be sitting in his chair or at his desk. Anywhere near his computer/anything that could possibly be used to contact someone on the outside without supervision is a huge issue. Keep in mind that he never deigned to share this rather important rule with his partner.

Idia’s partner has a bad day and snaps at Ortho, shoving him away very, very gently. It almost goes without saying; they’re getting zapped to the point of unconsciousness, because Idia panics and then gets mad, in that order and in rapid succession. The emotions blend together for a moment which makes the jolt stronger. This is when the “no ignoring Ortho” rule would be implemented, because they’d better be really nice to Ortho for the next few months before Idia decides he can trust the two of them to interact without his watchful eye. He trusts his little brother, but he doesn’t trust his partner.

In honor of a certain discussion I had with @tht0nesimp (thank you so much, you're very insightful,) Idia’s partner has a meltdown (understandably) and starts throwing things, including a glass of water that was brought to them after they had a bit of a cry in the shower (stay hydrated, everyone.) The glass, still with the water in it, sails across the room and clocks Idia right in his pretty face, ideally breaking his nose. While it’d be understandable to assume that Idia would be mad enough to hit his partner with a jolt of electricity that would bring them to their knees, Idia is sensible enough to understand that this is a display of some form of hysterical emotions that his partner has been bottling up until this point. Therefore, instead of electrocuting his partner, he just starts complaining, more loudly than usual. It is not peculiar for his voice to rise in volume but not in inflection, we hear this in game, but imagine that just a bit louder and more whiny.

“Wow, and here I thought you were an adult. I can’t believe you can’t even control your emotions.”

“My nose hurts. No, don’t apologize. It’s your fault anyway. I don’t even want to know what you’d do if you were really mad.”

“If you want to make it up to me, you could- don’t make that face. Whatever, I knew you weren’t being serious. Whatever. Just ask Ortho to get me an ice pack and go sit somewhere away from me. It's fine. It's fine!”

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gipzisays209 · 4 months

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No way! I feel flattered!!!

Remember what I said before? About the sysmed server not knowing I exist? Well! It appears as though that would now be an incorrect statement! (More under the cut)

Let's go at this like it's English class, shall we? Dissect this post for it's contents?

"If you get this server taken down, we'll just make another server. ... If it comes to that, we'll just share the links in private GCs ..."

Well. Ain't that a kick in the head! If one server gets taken down, it's entirely possible to take another one down for the exact same reason! And saying you'll only hand out links privately... hate to break it to ya, but I, the host, am a Theatre kid. Acting is a hobby, and one I'm damn good at. You hand out links privately, only to people you deem trustworthy? Honey, that is my forte. ;)

"You're getting mad and defensive over us calling you out ... Instead of wasting your time reporting our server, maybe focus your energy on reporting servers that are actually harming people?"

Whoa, slow down there, hoss. Take a breather. You ever thought about why we're here? In your Discord? Taking screenshots and leaking them?

It's because, surprise surprise, fakeclaiming is harmful. It doesn't matter what it is, if you're getting fakeclaimed over a unique and individual experience/identity, that can (and sometimes will, sadly) cause a spiral that can lead to some nasty places. Depression. Isolation.

Even places like self-harm and suicide.

We are here because your server is harmful. We are here because you present an active threat to the community. But of course your HIGHNESS can't bear to think they're the problem!

"Addressing the ban claims, at one point we did ban a lot of faker systems from our server while rooting out a mole. Everyone from that event has since been unbanned. If you are still banned, its for a reason. Claims of us 'banning just because we can' are false. I could take a screenshot of our ban list and give a reason for every single one."

*Sips cup*

Yeah, I think we can move on from this one.

And now, the quote I've been so desperately wanting to address...

"Gip, because I know you’re in here, kindly stop sucking Ghost’s dick and get your own opinions, it would do everyone good. That goes for all of his little zombie followers. If your lives revolve around people on an online messaging app screwing around, re-evaluate your life choices."

Wow, where do I start with this one?

Blatant misgendering, bordeline going against their own rules when it comes to naming people on the server- I have 20 followers! And even then, you're still going to drop a version of my username? Just like that? Mmmmm...

I have my own opinions, thanks. I don't need a circlejerk discord to make me feel better about my own shitty fucking existence, cuz I have the balls to outright admit I'm a petty asshole with no fucking life. And my opinion is that people like Sophie, people like Cambrian and Lunastas and Guardian- all of them are fucking right. They have all proven they do their goddamn research, they actually give back to the communities they inhabit, and most of all, they aren't leeching off of people just by fucking existing, as hard as it is for you guys to believe.

(Also, if you're gonna insult someone, get it fucking right lmfao. Ghost is the goddamn host, Sophie is not Ghost. Two different people. Also, I'm fucking Asexual, so um, projecting much?)

Wow. As of writing this, they literally just got worse!

Well. You see, while I personally choose to censor Discord usernames to close loopholes like this, it's actually not the same as if you sent a Tumblr handle. What you're seeing in those screenshots are not identifiers, they are server nicknames. Which are specific to THAT SERVER ONLY. Unlike places like Tumblr and Twitter, where seeing your name automatically means someone can find you, on Discord it's actually not possible (that I know of) to doxx someone through a server nickname alone. So no, actually, Sophie didn't leave your username out there, only a server nickname, and the two are not the same. So yes, actually. Because Discord is it's own site with it's own way of handling usernames, it is perfectly acceptable what Sophie did (although not perfectly ideal), because nobody is going to be able to use those names alone to doxx and/or harass.

And finally, the final update as of writing this post... the almighty @ everyone ping...

Damn. I don't even have to AP English IV this shit, they already did it for me!

To sum it all up, phew... I guess I'm a target now! Which I'm honestly pretty damn fine with! But just know, I don't fuckin hold back. I will be a bitch for the sake of being a bitch, because I don't care how petty I am. I don't care about what people think of me, or whatever the fuck you could ever do to me.

I care about defending people from the likes of you.

So go on. Give me your best shot, then. You have the balls to call me out in front of your entire Discord server?

Challenge accepted, motherfucker.

Challenge accepted.

Let's get 'em, bitches!

#syscourse #sophiecourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #system stuff #endo safe #r/systemcringe #r/systemscringe #r/fakedisordercringe #r/didcringe #I dont care how you interpret this.#Active declaration of war? Sure.#Just an asshole being pissy on the internet? Go for it.#I have my reasons and my motives #cw suicide #cw self harm

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storiesofsung · 2 months

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Obey Me Rewrite - the Passion Project

Note: spoilers below the cut

I’ve always been in love with the game obey me and been super passionate about it as a long time fan however the game itself is kind of lacking.

Obviously it does what it does well, it’s a dating simulator about demons from hell but what I mean is it lacks potential.

I love the characters and their relationships with each other and the overall concept, that is what made me fall in love with it in the first place however I do have my own issues with the game not as a dating simulation but as a story.

To give you more context:

Characterization

- characters are given great potential with interesting backstories and fun personalities however the direction the game takes them completely wastes any sort of progression as interesting 3 dimensional characters

Example: Satan - he is shown to show personal struggle with a sort of inferiority complex with the way he was brought into this world (or hell) by people only viewing him as an extension of Lucifer and only as wrath, not as an individual living being. He works hard to create a name for himself and he prides himself on wisdom. He has a strong character and one of the best self restraint in terms of anger I dare say (he did attack mc but honestly from the way he was acting in Nightbringer it is progression) plus he is calm and collected and obviously by now a respected demon. Though he knowledgeable in itself, he still has issues to work with, one being working out his difficulties with Lucifer, (maybe) coming to terms with the way he was born and the trauma he went through when Lilith fell (he technically felt Lucifer’s pain). Instead as the series progressed we only saw him a soft cat boy, cmon 😀.

There are much more examples of this in fact all of them have such wasted potential, I’m not going to go in depth (unless someone asks me to hehe) but a very notable mention I would also like to make is

Example 2: MC - I’m not going to comment on how they are dull or has no personality because actually they can be very sassy depending on which options you choose. Also the mc is supposed to just be a self insert so I understand that enough. Anyways what I would like to give note to is the fact that mc forgave belphie right away after he I don’t know KILLED US? Or should I say, more accurately, the game forced us to forgive him so we would have the belphie lovey dovey options (no hate to belphie stans I’m just saying). What I mean to say is that we shouldn’t have not forgiven him you know, honestly it’s more of pacing. We COULD have forgiven him and actually that would be interesting development and a look into their backstory as angels, however there was no real progression towards forgiveness or us even being remotely scared of him (I may be wrong on this but I remember belphie and mc becoming besties real quick with no hard feelings) like the snappy mc incorrect quotes I think would actually fit well into the story as well as proper talk and real progression towards forgiveness.

2. Concepts and storylines

This is slightly less of an issue but I do take slight to the way the game handles storylines. Season 1 was the best (in my opinion) because it was less of “uwu mc marry me” content and more of demons being demons.

Alright so this really bugged me but I don’t like how MC is a a descendant of Lilith, like I know the brothers and Lilith are not blood related and are honestly more found family and that MC and Lilith and so far related (in terms of how many generations were between them) that they barely share dna I believe (in terms of physical dna and all that good stuff not the angelic powers) but I’ve always found it kind of gross but I guess that’s just a me problem…

I’m going to take the next part of my issues with concepts and storyline as general as possible but it’s really long but… hell doesn’t feel like hell, or should I say devildom doesn’t sound like hell

There is technology in other depictions of hell (like Hazbin hotel) but that’s done better because it’s not so emphasized (I know DDD is part of the game but I think they drive the technology bit overboard) it’s a lot less subtle and hell just feels like an abridged human world with slight magic involved.

The demons don’t even act like demons or look like demons, as hot as their demon forms are they look like emo teenagers that just discovered hot topic like girl bye 😭. They don’t act remotely demonic like sometimes, and everything just seems like a cosplay is the best way I can describe it. I know it’s 12+ and not 18+ but I really enjoy the more gorey fanfic versions of obey me concepts because that feels like hell, it brings out emotions in me of shocked scared and surprised which is what Dre me into the game in the first place, not a bunch of boys going to play dress up and harass the MC.

I have much more problems with the game( I still love so obviously I’m gonna play it) but this is more of a rant and I just played Nightbringer so I hope there is more lore that resolves some of my issues but yeah!

I’m not that skilled of a writer or anything but I would really like to try and rewrite obey me as a kind of “real hell” as a passion project, obviouslt no characters, or anything trademarked belong to me this is more of for fun. Again I’m not that experienced so if anyone would like to give me tips on how to write or would lousy like to chat about obey me, about this rant and other issues or just obey me in general feel free to dm me I’m always looking for more obey me stuff hehe but yeah, or actually honestly I just want your opinion on this.

I know it’s not that deep it’s a game about horny demons but it still means a lot to me and I hope you guys understand where I’m coming from. Thank you.

#obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me fandom #obey me fanfic #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me brothers #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #rant post #obey me rant #obey me undateables #obey me nightbringer

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agent-calivide · 11 months

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This post isn’t aimed at anyone in specific, rather, just a general overall post to the IEYTD fandom

If you don’t like my interpretation of Phoenix as she/her that’s fine, everyone has their preferences. But it really sucks to be told to your face that your interpretation is gross or wrong or straight up incorrect.

Of course when theory crafting or talking about the character I go with they/them, as that’s the pronouns used in game, but Phoenix is not a nonbinary character, they are a self insert character that you can project yourself on to because the point is the player is the Phoenix. The pronouns are neutral so anyone can fill their shoes.

And to be blunt, if I saw the same energy for he/him interpretations of Phoenix I probably wouldn’t care because it would be a fandom-wide thing where Phoenix just is they/them, but I don’t. In fact, I see a lot of love for he/him interpretations of them, I personally really love Jackson Winters in particular. But where those creators post and share and get generally positive response, I usually get some mixture of “I don’t like it, but good for you” or “why are you calling them/him she?”

And the more and more I get that response the less and less I want to share my works, because I can only handle being told my interpretation is lesser so much. I know that my personal interpretation should just be my business, but it’s hard to not take it personal when I don’t really see anyone else with that interpretation very often and these points are always made when I’m in the conversation.

Just earlier I saw someone voice relief that someone else’s fanfic didn’t give Phoenix she/her pronouns while we were complimenting their fic, literally saying “Thank god” before saying it rubbed them the wrong way. It’s hard to not take that personal, it feels like a deliberate dig, whether intentional or not.

And yeah, this was one specific instance, but I have dozens of similar stories, and it’s just… frustrating. I made Phoenix she/her because I personally have had issues with accepting my femininity in the past, and I take comfort in the fact that my Phoenix can absolutely kick ass, take names, get shit done, and not have some “she’s cool AND a woman!!!” narrative. She’s just cool.

Honestly, Unconventional is probably the one most guilty of “she’s cool and a girl” because I went into it apprehensive of what people would think of my interpretation, but over time I let go of that, and Seraphina “Phoenix” Ardeat is now one of my favorite characters.

So to be told point blank on a roughly bi-monthly basis that she’s weird, why are you calling Phoenix she, and generally being told I’m wrong for making this character into my own when that’s what everyone is doing, it’s tiring. And it just sucks.

I love creating for this fandom, but it’s hard to want to when there’s like a 20% chance someone’s gonna get in my face and make me feel shitty for the rest of the day because of a silly, nameless, faceless character.

Again, this isn’t a call out or an attack, I just ask that maybe in the future people think before saying “I don’t like this, but good for you” because that “good for you” is like putting a bandaid over a bullet hole.

#i expect you to die #ieytd #ieytd2 #i expect you to die 2 #ieytd fandom #agent phoenix

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curiouschaosstarlight · 8 months

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Part of a post I'm writing that I think distracts from the actual subject of that post but I feel like saying it anyway;

The Crepus situation seems to be pretty well-preserved from manga to game, from what I can tell. Diluc's vague about it but actually saw the scene, from beginning to end. Kaeya insists Diluc killed his dad but arrived late and didn't actually see what happened, nor did he have a clear view of what Diluc was doing at the time.

Considering how I'm...relatively sure their whole confession-then-fight thing went down not too long later on top of everything else, I don't think they've ever actually, like...talked about it.

...What I'm saying is, I'm pretty sure Crepus died from the whole overuse of Delusion thing, especially since they made special effort to draw him disintegrating rather than as a regular-ass corpse, which is not something Genshin has ever or will ever shy away from. Not "trapped in agony and Diluc had to murder him himself". I could easily be wrong, but considering everything else we see and hear in the manga and game, it would be real fuckin' weird that the only person whose word we have to go off on for details is Kaeya, the belated party that was NOT there for inciting incident.

I genuinely think Kaeya made an incorrect assumption and just...hasn't ever had it cleared up. Because he and Diluc aren't talking. And who knows how Diluc's actually handling the situation. Whether he did or didn't mercy kill his dad, the survivor's guilt has to be immense regardless.

Anyways, point being, I love and adore Kaeya, I really do.

But he's a pessimist and also a little bit of an idiot at the best of times.

One that's smart, crafty, and perfectly capable in many areas, but keep in mind he was gonna kill Collei without actually assessing what her real problem was because he was projecting so hard, and I think he's only somewhat learned to project a little less in the actual game.

Not everything every single fictional character says is 100% actual, true, unbiased fact, even if the character themselves might 10000% believe in it.

And I just...think it's very deliberate that the manga showed the events the way it did, and ALSO had only Kaeya say directly that Diluc killed Crepus. We see the events for ourselves. The events are ambiguous and look way more like Diluc hardly had any reaction time beyond being able to pick Crepus up. (Which could easily be why he has blood on his face; from picking up a bleeding man.) It just feels deliberate. Very, very deliberate storytelling.

And Maybe I'm Wrong. That's not too weird. Maybe it'll never be confirmed one way or the other.

I just...think we shouldn't rest on our laurels and call something completely canon when it's, so far, been left very much ambiguous.

#chaotic rambles #organishin #the phoenix down #frozen febreze #that is a really REALLY dumb pun and i think it'll get me weird looks if i try to explain it--#anyways that's my kaeya tag now--#as i was looking at lines for puns Diluc's line about Kaeya says Kaeya can only be half-trusted #and man aint he right for the wrong reasons huh--#see that's what we call being biased af but also being kinda sorta right by coincidence #anyways dont listen to either one about the other they're both wrong #as an aside im genuinely shocked i dddont think i mixed up Kaeya and Diluc's names in this even once #i have a very clear idea of both characters separately but for some reason my brain will mix up their names and weapons #and i dont know WHY #gettin' better at it but i've still fucked up relatively recently--

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gaslysgirl · 2 years

Note

what would the drivers be like with an s/o who has a health condition like ME etc. completely projecting lol but in need of some comfort rn 🙁

Hi, baby. As I don’t know much about ME and I don’t want to write incorrect things about it, I wrote about health conditions in general. Hope you feel better soon lovely <3

Carlos: I feel like Carlos would be the most patient soul in the world if you have any health condition. He wants you to be as comfortable as possible, and if some things take some time, like for you to come to the paddock or something else, he lets you take as much time as you need. He’s also very caring and I think he’d feel very responsible for you.

Pierre: Most judge-less person. He accepts you, your body, your health condition as they are, and he has the ‘we make the most of it’ attitude that always causes a smile on your face. If it means that he has to do some extra effort to make you feel comfortable in a hotel, in a plane, in a car, in the paddock, then it’s done without a thought.

Charles: He’s the kind of person to go above and beyond to think along with your lifestyle and how you have to handle certain situations because of your health condition. If you need any medical care, he wouldn’t hesitate to travel with you, to go with you to your checkups, or just simply help you himself if he can. He wants you wherever he goes, and if that means that you need more help, he’d gladly do it.

Mick: Would adapt his lifestyle according to yours to really know what life is like from your position. He’d be your support 24 hours a day, because in the end, he’s the person who understands you the best. If anything needs any adaptations, in life, your schedules, the house, he’d change it without a thought to make it more comfortable for you.

Lando: He’s the one who can cheer you up so well. While it’s sometimes complicated for him to see life from your perspective, I think he can really offer a listening ear if you need it, and romantically offer you the confidence you need in a relationship that your health condition doesn’t matter to him

#cl #pg #cs #ln #ms

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networkunsupported · 1 year

Note

⚠ TRADE OFFER ⚠

i receive:

information about your new ocs

you receive:

my undying gratitude

oh BOY OH BOY OH BOY ALRIGJT.

sorry i'm like category five nuts over these two bear with me

so basically the hatsune miku lady is a person called anya reyes! she comes from,, not necessarily an overbearing family but ones who are depending on her success a lot (they live in like. an apocalyptic world with its main source of guidance being this very high-up sciencey official corporation and her parents are basically trying to get asylum there by convincing her to build some Grand Scientific Technological Marvel)

which she does! she spends her whole life constructing a...construction called the Orobo- the uh. the. Orub- the um. the Ouroboros Project (which is a nightmare to spell so let's just call it OBS for short) which is the first officially recognised time machine! yayyy!!

( it's important to note that OBS is not the first time machine. it is simply the first recognised one, as time machines are the second-most likely contraption to inadvertently ruin things massively if incorrectly used (the first-most being atomic bombs), and the first-most likely to erase any trace of their existence if REALLY incorrectly handled (mind-erasing devices take second place, as it was deemed the most incorrect usage of them would be as expensive and overly-complicated paperweights.))

this isnt plot relevant in any way. it's literally just random worlbuilding. funfact.)

so. OBS a) doesn't blow up, and b) allows anya and her family asylum inside the walls of this corporation. in fact, more than that, they're SO pleased about this invention that they even rename the corporation! this place used to be called the D.O.S.T. , or Department Of Space Travel after the fact they...made spaceships or whatever, but then renamed themselves to the D.O.S.T.T. , or Department Of Space-Time Travel. THAT'S how pleased they were. had to reprint all the paper napkins and monogrammed towels just for that.

and so, inside the D.O.S.T.T.s buildings, anya meets a guy called viktor cruz- who- you've guessed it! is the other guy i drew. he claims to have been there,, a little longer than her, but not by much- and has got in through the insane and wildly amazing way of umm...(checks my notes) passing the entrance exam. yeah they have one of those. first and last exam that man ever passed- but hey, it was enough!

hes a little less,, caught up on the existence of the OBS than most people- he's like oh sick that's cool but that's about as high as his levels of interest get on that matter and honestly anya appreciates that!! tying your life to one creation you didn't even really want to make yk. kinda sucks.

so they stick together <3 they're besties even- roomies, if you will

viktor helps anya dye her hair and get some periecings and really just be a bit wild with it all and in exchange she helps maintain his prosthetic (and sleep schedule) for that matter!

viktors whole thing is kind of like. he wants to find a nice hospitable planet somewhere and set up his own talkshow/podcast/radio kind of a thing and anyas like fuck yeah i wanna get out of here too can i come be a guest and he's like absolutely you can

what i mean to say is im nuts over them. like so nuts. like they're such,,, they're. you get me.

#OH I FORGOT TO MENTION #what got anya started on the idea of time travel #was that she wanted to go back and like. rescue laika?? yk the dog #and its OBS's first mission and it works!!#and laikas okay and shes fine and alive and she accompanies anya on all of this #cannot stress enough that That is also not plot relevant. i just love laika. shes alive shes alright its all good brother #anyway hi. im so sorry. that was more worldbuilding than i thought id put in but OH WELL ENJOY #virtue looks out

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nanjokei · 9 months

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Thoughts on miku NT update getting delayed? I think she was supposed to get a major update for her anni but she just got a minor update and wat asked to wait 6 months for a ''real'' update

oh man, if i sound combative sometimes here its because this subject triggers my "vocal synth fans are way too angry at nothing" gag reflex, but im not mad at all just frustrated. also sometimes i just accidentally sound aggressive when my tone is actually neutral, so i hope you forgive me if i come off like that.

its difficult to speak about miku NT frankly because if you ever have anything positive to say about her or are patient about her release or even respect the circumstances she exists in... you get called a shill and/or people get mad— and someone on tumblr has picked a fight with me over it and refused to absorb anything i said about the subject, so i have a bit of fear naturally but...

well for one thing i didn't know about the huge update at all so thanks for telling me!

first of all i think the stated mission statement of miku NT aligns with how i see miku— v3 and v4 strayed too much from what miku actually sounds like, and people get really mad if you say this for some reason and accuse you of being picky or a boomer, but if you listen to any iconic song posted before v3, there is a mikuness present in her original version that is lost in the newer engines, is there not? (honestly i think this is true for every v2 vocal. especially luka. literally no one survived the transition to v3/4 but gumi and the VYs, but luka v4 is the worst. luka has lost her popularity and personality bc of how shit v4 is) she sounds more like fujita saki than miku the more she gets rerecorded. that is why NT exists, aside from crypton wanting to be software agnostic. miku NT is basically a V2 emulator, but the current commercial version is rough. it's enough for me to see the vision though. i say commercial because its clear the private version given out to crypton's trusted few (people like mitchie m and nyanyannya) and used in proseka sounds way more progressed... i'm assuming the huge update is either this or something beyond that. and perhaps, this huge update, if it sticks the landing, maybe means NT could be heading to a more presentable state. it could mean the release of kaito next (because it seems like to me that of the unreleased vocals kaito is the one they work on the most)

another thing people get mad at you for pointing out is how wat is the only person developing the engine... like, sorry, that is just how crypton's company culture operates, piapro charas are not their only product and those who handle them in the company are so few precisely because of how tight the vision is. and they barely make money from miku at all considering the licensing fees are practically nonexistent (for the sake of ease on everyone). so no it's not like how people think they can throw money at the project until it's suddenly successful. people think you can just hire someone from the outside to help develop it— arguably, yes— but if you read any interviews wat or other involved peoples give you immediately get the feeling that their vision is something so specific, they'd never involve a third party even if you put a gun to their heads. and i respect that. i can wait 10 years for NT to get good if it means miku will be miku forever and not fujita saki. if it makes people mad, they've literally never taken any version of miku off sale, you can buy miku v2 or 3 or 4 from their website right now if you wanted to. is it kinda bad they decided to put NT up for sale so early? yeah i can't defend that. but i also think that they underestimated the whole "make your own engine" bit. and people are hard on crypton because a lot of dumb missteps on their part like when the append update dropped and they used the incorrect audio for every demo, giving the impression that there was no difference or improvement.

comparisons to other companies don't work either— companies like yamaha and technospeech have entire research teams and periodically publish said research and then eventually implement such things into their softwares. such research is funded heavily by investors. they are company's companies. no comment on dreamtonics idk what is going on there. crypton on the other hand came in with like one guy lol. maybe it is a trap of their own design but lmao no one has to buy NT or pay attention to its existence if they hate it

i sincerely believe that vocal synth fans are raging bulls who root for products to fail just so they can hoot and holler and scream that they were right on the off chance they do fail, with 0 appreciation for the fact that for example every software has a different philosophy in its creation and a different end goal, yes NT is embarrassing at times and yes it could have been better. and? have they abandoned it? have they taken the money and ran? if they did not care they would have released the other cryptonloids and that would have been it. if there's any people whose vision i trust, whose love for their characters and the creators who love their creations that i unwaveringly believe in, it's crypton. (and vocalomakets. but that is not the point)

and i'm not even a crypton girlie!!!

i think literally everyone who buys NT aside from the clique-y cover artist twitter weirdos (who sit in a circle and shit on every new release) buys it with the understanding that at this point, it is a beta product against crypton's will, and you're in for the ride at that point. if people want piapro studio to be synthv, then they missed the point entirely. miku NT will never be realistic, and will probably never implement AI, because miku is not realistic and AI learning dilutes the mikuness. if people want synthv they should just buy synthv lol. if people think v4 miku is better (i'm telling yall she is not) then just buy v4 miku. what's the issue?

basically if wat tells me to jump i jump. i trust him on this even if it gets delayed beyond that. sorry if this strayed from what you asked me nonnie but as you can see I Have Feelings re:this

#ask #anonymous #can you see the dislike i have for other fans 🫶#if people think im a shill for being patient then so be it.#vocal synth fans when you tell them you cant just 'make the software good NOW'

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u2fangirlie-blog · 16 days

Text

Druid First Level Spells

This is my first time playing Dungeons and Dragons in 28 years. My friend invited me to join his group as they are starting a new campaign with new characters. They've been playing together for years. As the newbie, it's a challenge getting to know new people. They have fighters and a wizard and need a healer to balance out the group for the new campaign. I agreed to be a Druid. They are not big into the roleplaying aspect and are more focused on gameplay. I'm slightly disappointed because I've come up with so many creative and fun things to do with my spells. For my own entertainment, I've written the verbal, somatic, and material components to personalize my spells. For funsies, I'm posting it here in my blog. Spells are: Druidcraft, Animal Friendship, Cure Wounds, Goodberry, Healing Word, and Shillelagh.

Druidcraft

Level: Cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action; Range/Area: 30 ft.; Duration: Instantaneous; Attack/Save: None; Damage/Effect: Control; Components: Verbal and Somatic.

Whispering to the spirits of nature, you can create one of the following effects within range:

You create a tiny, harmless sensory effect that predicts what the weather will be at your location for the next 24 hours. The effect might manifest as a golden orb for clear skies, a cloud for rain, falling snowflakes for snow, and so on. This effect persists for 1 round.

You instantly make a flower blossom, a seed pod open, or a leaf bud bloom.

You create an instantaneous, harmless sensory effect, such as leaves falling, a puff of wind, the sound of a small animal, or the faint odor of a skunk. The effect must fit in a 5-foot cube.

You instantly light or snuff out a candle, a torch, or a small campfire.

NOTE: “Harmless effect” means it can’t cause damage to anyone or the environment. Can’t use this cantrip to create big, flashy effects similar to spells that other spellcasters might use. Fire can’t be used to harm people. Sensory effects can distract or confuse others. Assume creating sensory effects does not include visual effects. Smells: Can food smells be used? Ask DM.

1) Weather prediction: Verbal – “Show weather forecast.” Somatic: Raise both arms and hands open toward the sky.

2) Cause vegetation to sprout or bloom: Verbal - Depending on what needs to happen. “Grow!” “Bloom!” “Sprout!” “Emerge!” Or “GROW BETTER!” [To correct the incorrect writing in the handbook: leaves emerge from buds, flower buds blossom, and seeds sprout.] Somatic - Invoking like the Magician tarot card: Right arm raised overhead to receive energy. Left hand pointed at object to project energy.

3) Create sensory effects: Verbal - A. “Rustling leaves.” “Snapping stick.” B. “Blowing breeze.” C. “Owl sounds.” “Raccoon sounds.” “Raven sounds.” D. “Good stink.” “Bad stink.” Somatic - Hold up two fingers and move hand to the side like Obi Wan Kenobi doing the Jedi mind trick.

4) Ignite or extinguish small fires: Verbal - A. “Lights on!” “Flickum Bicus!” “Ignire Ignis” B. “Lights off!” “Extinguo Ignis!” Somatic - Snap fingers once or clap hands twice (clap on, clap off).

Animal Friendship

Level: 1st

Casting Time: 1 action; Range/Area: 30 ft.; Duration: 24 hours; Attack/Save: WIS save; Damage/Effect: Charmed; Components: Verbal, Somatic, and Material.

This spell lets you convince a beast that you mean it no harm. Choose a beast that you can see within range. It must see and hear you. If the beast’s intelligence is 4 or higher, the spell fails. Otherwise, the beast must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by you for the spell’s duration. If you or one of your companions harms the target, the spell ends.

At higher levels: When you cast the spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, you can affect one additional beast for each slot level above 1st. [BONUS AT 2ND LEVEL.]

NOTE: Not sure if it can be used in conjunction with Animal Handling proficiency. Ask DM.

Verbal: “Hello there, friend!” Speak to beast like Obi Wan Kenobi saying, “Hello there.”

Somatic: Wave hello and use beckoning gesture or offer back of hand with fingers curled under.

Material: Food of whatever the beast likes, meat, fruit, vegetables, or nuts from your rations.

Cure Wounds

Level: 1st

Casting Time: 1 action; Range/Area: Touch; Duration: Instantaneous; Attack/Save: None; Damage/Effect: Healing; Components: Verbal and Somatic.

A creature you touch regains a number of hit points equal to 1d8 plus your spellcasting ability modifier. This spell has no effect on undead or constructs.

At higher levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d8 for each slot above 1st. [BONUS AT 2ND LEVEL.]

NOTE: More powerful than Healing Word spell.

Verbal: “Heal.” “Close wound.” “Relieve pain.” Or use same Elvish word for Healing Word spell, “Envinyata.” [“Heal” in Quenya Elvish – Tolkien.]

Somatic: Invoking like the Magician tarot card: Right arm raised overhead to receive energy. Left hand touching the person or beast to project energy.

Goodberry

Level: 1st

Casting Time: 1 action; Range/Area: Touch; Duration: Instantaneous; Attack/Save: None; Damage/Effect: Healing; Components: Verbal, Somatic, and Material.

Up to ten berries appear in your hand and are infused with magic for the duration. A creature can use its action to eat one berry. Eating a berry restores 1 hit point, and the berry provides enough nourishment to sustain a creature for one day. The berries lose their potency if they have not been consumed within 24 hours of casting this spell.

NOTE: Goodberry could throw off balance of game or go against DM plans. It restores 1 hit point, but resting also restores hit points. See rules about resting periods, hit dice, and restoring hit points. Save the spell to restore hit points only if the party is unable to rest or is out of rations. “For the duration” means how long the magical energy of a spell lasts. It’s confusing for Goodberry because the duration is categorized as instantaneous, but the berries are good for 24 hours, so that means the duration is 24 hours.

Verbal: “Goodberry, fortified with essential vitamins and minerals! Now with new assorted flavors!”

Somatic: Chef’s kiss. Pinch fingers and thumb together, kiss them, “MUAH!” and then make a gesture like blowing a kiss.

Material: Mistletoe berries.

Flavors: Wild Cherry, Blue Raspberry, Strawberry, Grape, and Smurfberry.

Healing Word

Level: 1st

Casting Time: 1 bonus action; Range/Area: 60 ft.; Duration: Instantaneous; Attack/Save: None; Damage/Effect: Healing; Components: Verbal.

A creature of your choice that you can see within range regains hit points equal to 1d4 plus your spellcasting ability modifier. This spell has no effect on undead or constructs.

At higher levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d4 for each slot level above 1. [BONUS AT 2ND LEVEL.]

NOTE: Less powerful than Cure Wounds. Get 1 Bonus Action. Casting the spell is an action. Choose one more action. If out of range of person you want to heal, you can move closer.

Verbal: “Envinyata.” [“Heal” in Quenya Elvish – Tolkien.]

Shillelagh

Level: Cantrip

Casting Time: 1 bonus action; Range/Area: Touch; Duration: 1 minute; Attack/Save: Melee; Damage/Effect: Bludgeoning; Components: Verbal, Somatic, and Material.

The wood of a club or quarterstaff you are holding is imbued with nature’s power. For the duration, you can use your spellcasting ability instead of Strength for the attack and damage rolls of melee attacks using that weapon, and the weapon’s damage die becomes a d8. The weapon also becomes magical if it isn’t already. The spell ends if you cast it again or if you let go of the weapon.

At higher levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d4 for each slot level above 1. [BONUS AT 2ND LEVEL.]

NOTE: Get 1 Bonus Action. Casting the cantrip is an action. Attacking with the staff is the Bonus Action. Whole action = cast cantrip and attack with staff. “For the duration” means how long the magical energy of a spell lasts. That’s a minute or the length of the action.

Verbal: “This is my BOOMSTICK!”

Somatic: Pound staff on ground and stomp foot.

Material: Oak staff.

#d&d spells #d&d druid #d&d first level spells #dungeons and dragons #d&d 5e

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webercarrier4e · 3 months

Text

Weber Carrier

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sapphireginger · 11 months

Text

Chapter #12

Summary:

Stiles grins and signals again before checking his gun over and unloading it. “Thank you kindly, młodszy brat.”

“Think nothing of it, duży brat.” Stuart looks back at his target and snaps a photo of it before packing his gun away too. He doesn’t know it yet, but the gun is his. Stiles and Peter have it all handled.

Stuart and Stiles start quizzing each other to prepare for their upcoming year one tests. Stuart pulls out the textbook. “Okay. You arrive at the scene of a kidnapping. There are a couple hairs, some blood spatters, a broken lock and signs of a struggle. You’re the first one there and you don’t hear anything but that doesn’t mean it’s safe to enter. What do you do?

A) “Wait for your partner(s)/team? B) “Go in without backup. C) “Radio in your situation and seek clearance to enter. D) “None of the above because you’d never arrive alone to such a scene.”

Stiles chews his lip. “Because I can’t hear anything, I have to rely on what I can sense with the other senses. I see the blood, broken lock, blood spatters and hair. This tells me that it wasn’t a major violent act most likely meaning the perpetrator was seeking to grab and go. I shouldn’t enter alone because I don’t know if they might have set something I might accidentally trigger. So, I’m going to say…” he trails off, raking a hand through his hair. “Wait. Oh! D! Because it would have to be a really unique situation in which I would arrive alone.”

The younger twin beams. “Correct!” He hands the book to Stiles. “Your turn to ask me.”

Stiles nods and flips through the pages before settling. “Okay. An eyewitness is defined as an individual who testifies about his or her knowledge of a crime as understood through their five senses. Juries place high importance on eyewitness accounts and usually don't take into account false memories. Once a person identifies a person in a lineup, they are increasingly likely to identify the same person in a second lineup even if they are NOT the perpetrator. In a recent complex murder case, Jane Wonder acted as an eyewitness in a number of line-ups. Due to the false memory effect most of her attempts at identifying the perpetrator have been wrong.

“From the information given above, it is valid to make which of the following conclusions:

A) When an eyewitness identifies a perpetrator in a line-up, he has a higher probability of being incorrect. At least one of Jane Wonder's attempts to identify the perp is likely to turn out to be false. B) If a witness' testimony is not based on his senses (e.g. seeing, hearing, smelling, touching), he is not considered to be an eyewitness. C) If an eyewitness fails to identify the perp, it can be assumed that, most likely, they have partaken in more than one line-up. D) There are some witnesses in a case, aside from eyewitnesses, who do not rely on their senses.”

Stuart blinks a few times and tilts his head, his brow furrowing as he thinks. “Okay. Well…” he trails off and huffs, snagging his water to take a drink. Unlike Stiles, Stuart does more internal thinking rather than talking it out. “C?”

“Correctamundo!” Stiles crows and hands the book back. “My turn.”

“Okay. Let’s see…” Stuart flips a couple pages and settles on another practice question. “You are assigned as a manager to oversee a complex project that involves seven different teams. Three of these teams are on schedule to meet their set deadlines. The other four teams have fallen behind and are at risk of missing their assigned deadlines due to unforeseen staffing issues. For the project to be a success, all work must meet the set deadlines and stay on schedule.

“What action would you take to make the project a success?

A) “Talk to each of the teams that have fallen behind their scheduled deadline and find out what I can do to help get them back on track. B) “Request overtime for the four teams that fell behind their deadlines. C) “Inform upper management of the situation and that unforeseen staffing issues are causing setbacks in my project. D) “Reassign the team leaders for the groups that have fallen behind to get the project back on track and meet future deadlines.”

“Hmm.” Stiles rubs the back of his neck as he thinks. “Well asking for overtime isn’t a good idea. It costs money for the company which doesn’t help them in the long run. Alerting upper management to the issue shows a lack of understanding of your own job. You’re the manager of this team. Only inform a higher up if there is no other option. I also would say reassigning the leaders of the groups isn’t a good idea in the middle of a project. So, I’m going to say A.”

Stuart nods and high fives his brother. “Got it in one.”

They flop back on the couch with a soft sigh. “Damn,” Stiles mumbles.

“What?”

“Nothing. There’s just…Why don’t we get more questions like the first one?”

Stuart tilts his head. “You mean like more about the situational aspect of being an agent instead of like the reasoning?”

Stiles nods. “Yes. Like I get that it’s logical reasoning and there’s a personality test, but what does that accomplish as far as our in the moment stuff?” he asks, his nose scrunching up. “I mean I guess since this is our first test it makes sense to start off with the outer stuff and work our way in. Right?”

“Right,” Stuart agrees, nodding his head. “Do you want to try the personality one now?”

“Sure,” Stiles says, giving a one shoulder shrug. “Why not?”

✶ 🔎 ❤︎ 🔍 ✶

When Stiles turned eighteen his dad had bought him his own gun. He’s been learning to shoot and has gone to the gun ranges with his dad for years. He fares much better than Stuart during their practices.

“Fuck! Why?!” Stuart snaps, glaring at the target he missed.

Stiles chuckles and signals before pulling off his glasses and earmuffs. “Okay. You have to adjust your grip to allow for the kickback. Like this.” He encourages his twin to grip the gun a little looser and use more of his wrist.

After putting his safety gear back on, Stiles signals and Stuart takes a deep breath, before pulling the trigger. Bullseye.

“Holy shit,” the younger twin says numbly. Then he grins and shoots four more times, crowing when he makes nearly all four right in the venter. “You are the best brother ever!”

Stiles grins and signals again before checking his gun over and unloading it. “Thank you kindly, młodszy brat.”

They high five and Stiles slings his arm around Stuart's shoulders as they head out, feeling sore but in the best—the second best—way. They’re sweaty, smelly, tired and yet grinning ear to ear. Both of them are so ready for their field tests.

✶ 🔎 ❤︎ 🔍 ✶

When they are as ready as they can get for the testing, they decide to distract themselves some. They watch movies. Play video games and really dive deep into getting to know each other even better. They make a promise not to keep things from each other unless necessary because they’ve missed out on over two decades of time.

It’s not long before they decide they want to have time with each other’s SOs. So, Stuart makes plans with Peter and Stiles makes plans with Allison.

#steter #teen wolf #stiles stilinski #peter hale #stuart stilinski #allison argent #at our ex-spence #at our ex-spence ch. 12 #fbi agent stiles stilinski #fbi agent stuart stilinski #fbi training #fbi testing #quizzing #light angst #shooting practice

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finsterhund · 1 year

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Liveblog kinda I guess?

Someone recommended I watch the horror movie "Come Play" (2020) because "that's basically you" and yeah ten minutes in and this is pretty much exactly what 2010s Cayden embodiment would be. Except pure and not deranged lmaoooo.

So far this seems to be a more typical horror movie so it's more of an "eat snacks and try to guess when a jump scare is happening" experience which is usually what I watch. It's serviceable if generic. Not really bringing anything new to the table or being too interesting. I've been focusing a lot on artsy indie horror of late so it's good to change things up and go back into something knowing it's not going to completely flood my brain. It's nice to have neurodivergent kid protagonist representation that doesn't turn the kid into a source of "ooooh scary" for the sake of "disability weird and creepy" either. I kept bracing for "autism scary" but they never resorted to that.

Jealous of the cool house he lives in. This is quickly becoming a pattern.

The picture book monster designs are straight up spectres. I swear to fuck. If the little common spectres could grow up I guess. I want the in-universe book as like a hardcover or something it's cute. Can't tell if it's a ploy or if it's really a heartfelt monster friend yet. That's the fun of it. Could be either OR BOTH. I'd love to see that more in things. Where a supernatural creature is a predator with hunting instincts but it's not evil and will potentially under ideal circumstances be able to pack bond with humans who are otherwise a prey item.

Not gonna lie thinking about it now having it being central to the plot of a movie I am somewhat jealous of the availability of digital speaking devices possible with today's technology. I would have been far more articulate if I had something like that when my selective mutism was at its worst. May have made it easier for me to break into the wider world. Get more of a headstart. Saying that though the movie is quick to remind that neurotypicals can be fucking mean and stupid about accessibility tools. Not to go on and bash neurotypicals for seven hours straight but people get so fucking weird about this sort of thing. Call us unable to adapt to things but can't just roll with it when it comes to fairly cut and dry extensions of the self.

By the time I finally had an assistance device (first laptop) it was in high school and everyone learned to mind their own fucking business. I'd get chewed out by the occasional teacher but they quickly discovered I can't write for shit and that it was the only possible way I could take notes.

I'm expecting the "phone bad" plot to be stupid and drag my experience down but we will see.

I'm not liking the parents very much but how much of that is personal bias I cannot say. I may just be very stressed at the moment and projecting onto characters I know next to nothing about yet. The mom seems ok but the dad has a classic case of the "not really being there in equal measure as the mom is" that might imply worse.

Props to how you can really hear the parent's opinions and the learned ableism through the kid in Oliver's class whinging about how he gets "special treatment" for having use of a phone for accessibility. It really sounds like the sort of stuff you just know the kid is parroting from their shitty parent. The teacher could have handled it better than making it about that kid doing something to not deserve his phone as a toy. Should have instead been explaining that Oliver literally needs his for accessibility. But a lot of the time that is how these situations are mishandled by well-meaning but otherwise incorrect neurotypicals. The "clap back" at the kid who played Fortnite on his phone rather than explaining that the nonverbal kid uses his as a TOOL. and that's what's different.

The scene where the one kid from the bully's group lures Oliver with surface niceness just to get him away from prying eyes so their group can berate him is perfectly illustrated also. Because yeah they know to superficially not bully someone with disabilities, they know how to play nice, and the whole "pretending to be your friend to fuck with you" shit was very prevalent. I like how despite this being handled well it's not overly triggering like it could be.

God watching this just makes me wish we could have grown up together. This is a fictional fucking character but I know what he's going through so much and it's just not fair.

A lot of the spooky shit is interesting and isn't overdone visuals. Like the part with the papers in the car park. The camera filter scene also got me too. Because I am scared of cameras and the dark and faces. 🙃 The movie doesn't have deep psychological environmentally impressive fear building but the simple jump scares don't feel shitty either. It's basic for a horror movie but inoffensive.

Also I was right in the beginning to feel sus about the parents. They're having fights about Oliver and the mom is going on about how much she wishes she could "get rid of that part of him" so that she "wouldn't have to deal with it" as if it isn't literally a facet of who he is. The dad responds that it wouldn't be him then. The mom I swear to fuck I hate her. Shut the hell up "you have any idea what it's like for your own child to never look you in the eyes?" Bitch shut up. The kid doesn't feel comfortable with eye contact it's one little fucking thing to you but it's really significant issues for him. The mom is going on about how he apparently loves the dad but hates her. Oh I don't know autism warrior mom Karen perhaps he is able to tell and feel the way you talk and think about him? Like this? Right now? And that's why he doesn't feel comfortable or safe around you? Do you magically think he doesn't understand or feel the energy and vibes you emit about him? He's autistic, not mindless. For fucks sake. You think because he doesn't do things the way you think is the only way to do them he isn't able to at all? Gah. The dad being less present in his life is a double edged sword. Negative in that he could be there more for him but positive in the fact that when he is there he isn't a fucking bitch. Of course the kid is going to like him more. (I am taking this too personally I realize but jesus christ does this really hit at a sore spot)

"Larry" communicating with the same speech program Oliver uses is supposed to be creepy. They have him looking shocked and play suspense chords but I just think it's sweet. They're able to use the same aid and it's probably the first time Oliver has really had that sense of familiarity. I know that this is a monster and it's probably gonna try to eat him or something but so far the literal spectre ass looking demon thing has been more compassionate, respectful, considerate, and willing to be accessible to Oliver than any other major character. It's just scary and from another dimension. It feels like the monster is an allegory for having a disability that you're ostracized for.

Fucking screaming at the mom planning get togethers with the bully just because she's friends with his mom. Again, this is a common thing and it doesn't work out anywhere near as much as it should for parents to keep doing. But the mom being a fucking shit I realize she's likely never going to intentionally try to go out and find other disabled and/or neurodivergent kids to introduce Oliver to. These sorts of parents hope their kid will find "normal" friends that will make them "more normal" they already have to "suffer" "dealing with" their disabled kid they're not going to want to care for his peers too. 😔

The mom fucking going "can you try and have some fun for me?" You are literally forcing your kid to hang out with someone they don't want to, that I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you aren't aware is bullying him. You are taking away what little autonomy he has in his life at the present. God. And the cherry on top is him leaving a situation that's uncomfortable to him (terrified his phone is possessed) and the mom of course assumes it's all about her, that he's avoiding her.

God the bully's whole friend group gets invited to the sleepover and the literal first interaction I see of the bully's mom with him is her joking about how she wants to get rid of him and load him off on Oliver's mom. Just casually joking about not wanting to be around your son to his face. That's lovely.

Christ the bully's mom asking Oliver's mom if she can say hi to him. As if he's her pet and not his own person. 😬 100% why the bully is like this.

CHRIST THE BULLY KIDS WERE LIKE "WHYS HE BEING WEIRD?" AND BEFORE THE BULLY'S MOM CAN TELL HIM OFF OLIVER'S MOM SAYS "ITS OKAY" I want Larry to kill this fuck so bad. She then goes on to explain stimming... I guess. The fact that the moms are talking about his personal developmental milestones also just right in front of him and the other kids. Man for fucks sake stop it. Can you at least make the effort to pretend to give him a level of privacy and dignity?

It's really hard at times to not want the bully kids to get got by the monster lol. Sometimes their lines make it clear they're just wildly misinformed and other times there's that level of cruelty that I still don't know where some kids get it from and other times they're behaving a bit too "adult wrote the lines" bully cliche.

Larry being described as pale when he's been depicted until this point as corpse-black threw me for a loop. Was hoping this wouldn't end up being another pasty white "rake-esque" creature. It got old fast lol

I get the feeling that if the bullies don't die they're gonna end up friends with Oliver through shared trauma. Jokes on you nobody's getting out of this neurotypical.

Yeah the "real life" Larry design is just uninspired copy of the rake. The visual effects are good but man.

I don't get why they blamed Oliver for that shit with the book though. Like they witnessed all the bulbs go and the creepy ebook and the table move on its own. What do they think he's got telekinesis or something? What happened really doesn't seem like something they'd all collectively make up the same story to blame on him. If that actually happened they'd be going on about ghosts or some shit surely? Frustrated me and I had to pause for a bit.

Have yet to see "phone bad" at all and maybe they won't do that. But the mom is a sack of shit so don't hold your breath.

God the mom thinking he did it. Yeah I'm sure your kid did all that with his mind. Of course.

Also next day at school one of the bully kids has a chew stim????? He's never shown with one before. He's only got it now that their ringleader is absent from school? Which shows I guess that they join him in picking on the more obviously neurodivergent kid to try and prevent him from targeting them as well? Sadly a realistic thing that happens also. Bully kid is clearly traumatized so I guess my joke about nobody leaving this story neurotypical is coming true to some extent. Then he confesses it wasn't Oliver but the Larry entity. The weird thing is the mom believes now too because she was in the house when it again started fucking with shit but even though it's shown to have control over the house she zeros in on the tablet. Eventually the dad finally takes Oliver and immediately he's a better parent. Brought him to his job at a toll booth car park and encourages him to participate and explains to him aspects of the job that make it accessible. Saying that you can watch cartoons when you're not dealing with customers. I feel he means well.

Find it funny that everyone's immediate first reaction to the Larry book showing up randomly is to read it. And read it aloud. Oh neat a spooky monster kids book is on this ipad. Gonna read it out loud. I've got nothing better to do.

Again, the different ways they show that the invisible entity is in the physical world and where/how it's moving is pretty cool. The cameras, the laser sight measurement tool, THE STICKY HAND. The use of the sticky hand is GOATed

This fucking speech therapist is bringing up PHYSICAL EMPATHS. Aka pseudoscience. Being like "the reason you are also experiencing this creature from Oliver's imagination is because you love him very much" which is bullshit because 1. she fucking doesn't. 2. The closest observed condition that this could even remotely be compared to is Folie à Deux. There is no fucking basis of "empaths" as having psychosomatic reactions like this in real life wtfffffff. Everyone in this movie except for the goddamn monster and kinda the dad is absent incompetent negligent or stupid to the point of infuriating ineptitude in being there for Oliver. Christ. Then this stupid fucking mom is like "oh I destroyed *that* device. As if the problem was a single thing and not idk. It did stuff in your fucking house. What is the logic of this!? They even discussed how Oliver has been using multiple screens for so and so long period of time wtffffff

Oh I fucking knew it was the bully kid's mom who was why he turned out that way. The reveal felt so validating. These poor kids. The bitch tricked her kid into thinking Oliver hated him and turned him against him. Jesus Christ. Felt so gratifying when they realized and made up. She is now the character I want to die the most. Second is Oliver's mom obviously.

The later parts of the Larry book make it clear that the monster is at the very least possessive and will kill those who get in its way but still no confirmation if it has ulterior motives to making friends. It looks like it's just really possessive and lonely. Are they trying to set it up as being evil???

The scene with the streetlights going off behind the car is sick af. God. Too bad Larry himself the real world version sucks. Got a closeup of his face and it's just not working for me as a design. Took the mom way too long to realize that this thing wasn't tied to just the one tablet. The way it talks by skipping channels to different words is a neat concept but ruins the mystery of it. Okay Larry you go and villain monologue to the mom through the TV. That's great. Finally we get to the "phone bad"-ism where "everyone's so lonely looking at their screens all the time that it literally created Larry out of their loneliness" man wtf. If you love someone who's in another continent go fuck yourself I guess. You're actually lonely. You don't have real relationship through the screen. Never mind the fact that the main character is literally only so reliant on electronics because it's his fucking accessibility device. He is using it to communicate in person. God they didn't think this through. Also this movie literally came out in 2020 I think Larry being born is small potatoes compared to the obvious alternative of everyone dying from a certain pandemic. Hmmm 😬

I was really hoping it wouldn't pull a "phone bad" but somehow it held off on doing so and then did so in a way that's somehow worse.

God the mom being like "Larry is lonely? How do you think I would feel if Larry took Oliver?" Always making it about you. Not to mention the fact that you treat him bad and talk shit about him and say that he doesn't love you as much as his father because he won't overstep his own personal boundaries for your benefit. Everything you've done and said up until this point would indicate that you'd enjoy your life better if it did just go and take Oliver.

God the mom is something else. running around like a chicken with its head cut off grabbing every screen in sight in the house and yeeting it out the door when the obvious solution is to take Oliver somewhere else. Then when I think it won't get any worse she's unscrewing all the fucking lightbulbs. Making a racket. Oliver is having a meltdown and the bitch screams at him "can't you just be normal for one second" oh I dunno. You're acting like a complete mindless stupid dumb animal right now, assuming it's because you're stressed. Maybe have some of that fucking "you love him so much empathy" the speech therapist thinks you have for once and understand that he's stressed and scared out of his mind. The irony that Oliver has handled everything better than her is obvious to seemingly everyone except her and the writer. Ugh.

Saw a blurry dark camera angle of toys on the floor and immediately went "lol Skinamarink" so my brain is broken obviously.

Oh fuck it wasn't the bully's mom who lied and manipulated the situation and ruined the friendship (???) It was Oliver's stupid fucking mom? (Honestly I think it was equal parts both of them but ymmv. I do not understand this reveal) And during this reveal she's trying to force him to look her in the eyes. And they're hiding from the monster. And poor Oliver writes that he wants it to take him because she ruined his friendship 😭 god. I just can't.

First decent thing this shitheel does is recognize that Oliver calms himself with the SpongeBob theme song and hums it to him. It came out of nowhere. Really didn't feel this character has grown enough for this moment. Doesn't feel deserved.

Yeah the clearer the shots we get of Larry the more I can see his real world design sucks. Disappointing. I must stress the practical effects that bring him to life are incredible. Great effects. Just I'm so tired of oversaturated trope of tall pale humanoid creature. He's got pretty boring designed feet and hands too like. It's like if they took all the style out of the monster designs in Little Nightmares. So you're left with mildly uncanny valley stretched out hairless man.

The mom is something else. "This thing is powered by electricity. Why do you keep saying for us to go to the field???!!" Oh I don't know 😒 truly one of life's greatest mysteries.

The mom sacrificed herself to the creature which is honestly the only way I think she could have redeemed herself. Kinda saw this coming with the "only goes away when you finish the story, give it your hand" thing. Doesn't feel at all earned. I mean yeah she gave up her life to protect him even though she did it right in front of him and further traumatized him 🙃 again, the story keeps having this issue where it will suddenly insist the whole universe revolves around Oliver's mom.

There's some pretty big storytelling inconsistency whiplash in this movie. It really had no business sympathizing with the mom so much. She literally caused every non supernatural problem and significantly worsened the supernatural ones. In the end she like... comes back as a ghost and spends time with him and definitely loves him unconditionally now. We hope. The movie wants us to think this. She has the teensiest amount of redemption and it implies more than shows that she's learned from her negligence and wrongdoing.

I did like a lot of what this movie did but god the autism mom martyr complex shit is genuinely wrong and bad. The narrative that parents of autistic children are heroes and the true "victims" of the "disease" for their insurmountably good deed of not abandoning their own children and blah blah blah is wretched. It's the mindset that makes the "charity" Autism Speaks so insidious. They don't care about autistic people. They care about the poor undeserving neurotypicals who are forced to have autism in their lives 😒

This movie could have been an absolute banger if it instead focused on Oliver dealing with this creature. Hell, I was hoping that he would bring it into the real world to stay rather than what it wanted which was the reverse and after the friendship he had with bully kid was repaired he'd introduce Larry into their newly forming friend group or some shit. Or that the creature was insidiously trying to take advantage of the situation to capture him or something. But no. We got "phones bad" because they somehow created this creature who only wants friends but is also violent and scary, and several times is shown in a comparative way to the autistic boy, and we have shitty mother redemption. God.

It really felt like there was a good story here and a lot of stuff was really good but the bad shit is impossible to ignore. The actors were all good but yeah there's some serious issues with the writing and message. Very frustrating. They didn't use the kid being autistic for horror because instead they made the monster essentially a representation of a neurodivergent child and blamed his creation on the use of the very same electronic devices that the autistic boy used to empower himself and have more autonomy. Yeesh that's a big issue.

Oliver was such a tender sweetheart literally didn't deserve any of this.

I went into this thinking "oh boy this is just run of the mill monster horror shit that has a relatable protagonist unlike the artsy horror this isn't gonna make me use my brain" but no that quickly changed.

It is worth noting that I never finished the Babadook because of all the issues I had with it. This feels like it wanted to right those wrongs but still valued neurotypical comfort and status quo over neurodivergent child acceptance.

Idk I'm probably way too hard on the mom character but just this once can we have an autistic kid being loved not in spite of his autism but including his autism? Please?

#text post #long post #negative #cw: ableism #I was at first so into this movie and it just god #HoD despite Andy not officially confirmed as such still continues to be the best in neurodivergent child empowerment monster horror #please can I have some more I am starving

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