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#I am using the same thing I made last year

mschievousx · 2 days

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now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

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xi. eleven: every word you say

the sunlight did not reach her face. there was no sunlight in sight at all, aside from the most external door that shows a little hint of the visible spectrum. she stirred awake on the hard floor she slept, if she had any at all. she slowly sat up, finding the colonel on the adjacent cell, staring into nothingness.

they have yet to acknowledge each other's presence, trapped in their own battles inside. it was a surreal thing—to feel that it was both the end and the beginning. they have long let go of any hopes in receiving a lighter sentence, and that act is what made it possible for them to breathe despite the stifling feeling.

they have found freedom. losing all hope was freedom.

hence, the young silva raised her gaze to the ragged man across. his rank is not apparent on his current state, stripped off of dignity and proper legacy. she pulled him to the deepest ocean floor a man has never explored to.

"i am so sorry, raphael." raine broke the silence, feeling utterly apologetic for bringing the man with her in this fate.

"there is no need." he replied, closing his eyes as he leaned on the wall.

there really was no need. although his tone may have sounded frustrated, it was not directed to the girl. coming to think of it, he believes he would have done the same. he actually did, when he admitted to the suspicions just so she could be saved. the young silva, however, was hardheaded. a small chuckle left his lips as he looked at her in thought.

"you know, your father would be proud."

"oh, silence." raine rolled her eyes in jest, "i have not slept well with how much my eyes poured last night. do not make me cry again."

"but it is true."

"i know," she turned to him with weak eyes, "he asked me one time, if he was being too forceful in making me the viscountess or also the fact that he taught me things that a proper lady would not have preferred."

she laughed at the memory of her father teaching her how to hold a dagger at four, and her mother in utter worry as she caught them both.

"he was afraid he turned me into something he wanted instead of being someone I want to be."

the lady chuckled before continuing, "i told him I do not see myself embroidering at all. he laughed like crazy."

raphael weakly laughed at the story. by the mention of the girl's teaching experiences, a memory resurfaced in his mind as well.

"did you know that your father used to say you shoot like—i apologise for the term we use in the military amongst men—a virgin?"

despite being above average compared to the general public, her shooting really did not pass her father's standards. she could shoot, yes, but it would not have been enough for war. armand concluded that it was enough at the very least for self-defense.

raphael lifted one end of his lips, "i bet he would say otherwise now."

"that is because now i am not." she said with indifference, missing the way the man sat up from his leaning, turning to her fully.

"...wait, what—you mean...?" he asked curiously, his will returning to his voice in spite of their current situation.

raine looked at him and she found it interesting how curious he was at the topic. she let out a short giggle before slowly nodding. his mouth noticeably went ajar at that as he pried more.

"the bridgerton son?" she nodded once again, raphael leaning back down in surprise, shaking his head in disbelief, "your father is going to kill you."

"no need. the crown is doing it for him."

both laughed in chorus—how they could still jest in a situation like this is lost. perhaps, it was there saving grace. little joys do really count.

"i cannot fathom what you could possibly find so amusing in a place like this."

the queen's voice announced her arrival, her face grimacing in disgust at the place. the two greeted her with respect, standing from their position. she looked around, as if assessing their surroundings before settling her eyes to the girl.

her majesty sighed resignedly, "why ever did you have to shoot him?"

"he talked too much."

"that he did." she had no problem agreeing with that statement at all. the lord had been bothering her as well before about royal familial matters.

she clasped her hands, forming the words to say, "i have spoken to have a private execution for you both. it was granted. this is the least i could do, considering everyone has voted for a beheading instead of hanging."

raine nodded thankfully at that. she did not care much. either way, they would be dead. she inquired further, "the soldiers?"

"all free from the charges."

the two released a breath of relief. that was one of their main goals—for the rest of the troop to be able to go home and spend the following years with their families.

"thank you, aunt lottie. that is all i ask." she smiled warmly to the older woman.

"it will be in an hour." the queen noted, pertaining to the execution.

it must already be five in the afternoon already. the young silva did not know how time flew by so fast. she neared the girl, pushing a hand through the bars of her cell. raine held her hand as she continued.

"make death proud to take us."

raphael and raine's ears perked at that, their brows crossing as the queen took back her hand slowly, "how do you know of it?"

charlotte offered them a smile before she turned away, "your father had been a good company."

after the queen, major gilbert and the viscount bridgerton also stopped to visit them. the former relayed the gratefulness of the soldiers by the news of their freedom, while the latter updated her on how the queen is working on for a proper investigation against the said involved people in the treason with the help of the papers that was left to him. they did not take long, of course. the prison had that effect. it was very suffocating.

yet, her breath came back at the sight of the man in front of her.

"what are you doing here?" she said in concern, her lips quivering as she scrambled on her feet.

benedict reached to her, cupping her face with a tearful smile, "i told you. i will always be here."

she shut her eyes in shame of her current state, "you should not see me like this."

he chuckled with tears in his eyes, "like painfully beautiful?"

"like dying." she corrected in all honesty as he went silent, his heavy breathing speaking for himself.

his lips formed a thin line, features traced with painstaking gaze, "you are so unfair."

"i know," she admitted, knowing exactly what he meant, "i am so sorry."

he hushed her, his palms still on her cheeks as he soothed—both tracing the tear marks that intensified their emotions.

"forget about me. let go of this grief completely." she bleakly uttered, torment clear on her voice.

benedict immediately responded a multiple series of 'no' with an intense shaking of his head in disagreement. he would do anything to not forget her, both the joy and painful memories. he would cherish everything that she was present in. he would cling onto every word she utters.

"and in case you do forget about me," she continued, cupping his face with the utmost care, "i hope you remember by my touch alone.

he nodded fervently, "i love you."

he leaned his head to hers, their breaths exchanging as if he was used to the taste of pain on a dead friday night.

"i love you too."

they wanted to be together for as long as they could, and if that's not very long, well, then that's just how it is. and so, they held each other for the last time, coming to terms that if this life will be this cruel, he would spend the rest of his life praying that the next will not be.

he wanted to badly stay with her, to stop the time and prolong this moment. but, it seemed like he had angered the gods as a guard knocked his truncheon on the door, calling for him to exit for the fifteen-minute preparation before the execution.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

no later, guards entered the cells, taking both prisoners with no austerity in their touch. it was so strange for them to the point that it was hard to swallow. they have seized and lead criminals of darkest crimes to their end, yet they find themselves wanting to break the two out.

a viscountess and a colonel, both still children in their own way.

they have never thought there comes a day they would dread their work, and the executioner would say the same. because just as they all arrived in the execution stage, the forty-five soldiers, four members of the bridgerton family, and the queen are in attendance. as she caught sight of them, raine offered a brief, forlorn smile. these people are the ones who she is most thankful of.

executions happen at a faster pace than the young silva thought. one moment they were walking, the next they were kneeling. the executioner bowed to the both of them when they arrived, now asking for forgiveness on the duty he must do in a while. loraine granted him that.

he stood back up, announcing clearly, "you have been granted to speak your final words."

she turned to take a look at raphael, the latter nodding as a sign for her to speak for them both. raine casted her head down in thinking of the words she must say for the last time. she looked back at them all, to no one in particular, and dared to raise her eyes to her terrible fate as she began.

"when a crime goes unpunished, the world is unbalanced. when the wrong is unavenged, the heavens look down on us in shame. we too must die for this circle of vengeance to be closed. we will leave this record of our courage so the world will know who we were and what we did."

as she ended, they both tied the cloth firmly to cover their eyes. at the absence of sight, fear started to creep in. she could hear the executioner stepping away from her and to the colonel first. he declared with resolve, a means of comforting the two souls.

"death is proud to take you."

raine exhaled peacefully at that. it was a reply to their previous convictions—a way of reassuring they have done well.

and so, she did not panic, even when the sound of a drop on the floor filled the place.

raphael had been a great friend, soldier, and a person. the silva would not mind having to fight beside him once again.

the room stayed silent, with no other noise but the small whimpers of the audience. however, it was immediately overshadowed by the sound of footsteps, nearing her one step at a time. she guessed this must be it.

loraine's mind became blank. she hurried herself to think of memories—those that she would love to relive. she had a strange belief that it would not be as painful if she was feeling happy. but, it was also strangely hard to be one in the moment. all she could think of was that maybe, dying is the best option for her in this life. there was no home for her anymore.

and when she greets death, she hoped it is gentle. she hoped it is like going home. she believed a great happiness awaited her somewhere.

and for this reason, she remained calm as the axe hit her neck.

the audience found themselves letting go of the prolonged silence, breaking out to their cries. however, one person did not have any tear or voice left in himself anymore as he stared at the trail of blood that was starting to accumulate and flow away from the body.

indeed, a lot can happen in a day.

he was annoyed by her in one, taken by her in one, and loved her in one. he is grieving for her in one, and he will long for her in one.

and so, he was left with nothing but to face reality—realising that a very frightening thought is now shadowing him intimately.

when tomorrow depends to a person, what should one do? when that person is lost, does that mean tomorrow is too?

love was there. it may have not changed anything. it may have not saved anyone. but, it still matters that the love was there.

because, raine did not need to be saved. she needed to be found and appreciated for who exactly she was. her father has taught her that this world was only a preparation for the next, that all they can ask is to leave it having loved and being loved.

and benedict, until the very last moment, made that known to her and everyone else. she was found. she was appreciated. she was loved.

all by him.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @myo11 @idek-what-to-put @aysamuka

#benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton x oc #bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton

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jasperxkuromi · 15 hours

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Regressors that are (bodily) older, please interact!

Later 20s, 30s, maybe even older? I would love to hear from you and maybe even your stories if you don't mind sharing!

I want to meet more people like me and also show others that age regression doesn't just suddenly "stop" at a certain age

Some of us:

Didn't discover regressing/didn't understand their involuntary regression until they were older

Wasn't in a safe space mentally and/or physically to be able to regress the way we want to

Didnt "grow out" of regressing. I think a lot of people outside the community assume we will all grow out of wanting to regress at some point. Maybe some of us will, but some of us won't. Regressing can be a safe and healthy coping mechanism, no matter your bodily age!

And probably many other reasons I can't think of at the moment lol

I would love to get to talk to older regressors, or if there are any groups/discords, I would like to know those too :3

I'm gonna talk about my story a little under the cut, but I don't exactly recommend reading it if you are little right now! I am going to be talking about s3xualization of agere and children's media unfortunately.

I started age dreamer/involuntarily regressing when I was in high school without really knowing what it was. I was really into MLP FiM during its height popularity. I watched the show, collected and played with the toys, did coloring books, took my MLP blanket to school ever day. You get the idea.

I discovered regression here in Tumblr, but this was yeeeeaaars ago, like back when nsfw was still allowed. The line between ddlg and agere wasn't as solid as it is now. Or maybe it was just because I was a kid and couldn't understand better? Either way ... i ended up getting wrong ideas of what agere had to be and ended up scaring myself off. I also had adult roleplayers leaving really inappropriate comments on my posts that made me feel icky. I thought agere had to be s3xual and scared myself off.

We also unfortunately probably know the uhhh .. types of fan art that was popular of MLP. And it just ended up making me lose interest in the series. The stuff was everywhere and it was hard to avoid even if you were vigilant.

I never got a real chance to understand what healthy, voluntary regression was. I still was an age dreamer, but most times when I involuntarily regress it is out of extreme stress and it isn't fun or pretty.

I had a lot of bad things that happened to me last year and in turn I am having more health issues. Chronic conditions I already had getting worse, and new ones popping up. My mom (the one who birthed me) has been helping me a bit, but it has still been a lot of playing adult. Making phone calls back and forth, filling out paperwork, figuring out disability leave, paying bills, etc etc. I started age dreaming more and more often to cope with the stress. Like I randomly one day bought a DVD player and sets of Winnie the Pooh and Scooby Doo DVDs lmfao.

I also never stopped collecting stuffed animals and came back to collecting dolls again last year. It helps that I have friends IRL who I don't think are regressors, but still enjoy collecting with me. (my friends don't know yet, but I think they would be accepting if I told them, or they might already assume I regress tbh)

I have kinda had age regression on the back of my mind for several months, but was scared to look back into it. I was scared of going through the same thing I did back in high school. But also denying I am a regressor and that I still need to heal my childhood wounds was getting heavier and heavier on me. I am sooooo thankful I finally felt safe to begin exploring regression again ♥️😁

Side note: while I absolutely don't care if people do ddlg and similar stuff as a kink/fetish, I am thankful that the distinction between that and agere is more distinct now. It is important we protect minors and other vulnerable people from having the same sorts of things that happened to me (or worse) from happening to them.

#age regression #age regressor #agere #sfw agere #sfw little community #sfw littlespace #sfw regression #agere blog #agere community #age dreamer #age dreaming #autistic agere

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ultimatefartwizard · 2 days

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NOT FUCKING AGAIN! THE MUSICAL ( TF EARTHSPARK MESSAGES AND MANDROID'S GENOCIDAL HORRORS EDITION)

Holy shit I am losing my mind... @monocle-teacup you better read this <3 (dead serious though cuz wtf)

Also of course as always, spoilers ahead this time for season 2 of earthspark so dont want it? skedaddle (s2 isnt worth caring about though, trust me)

Also again nobody go witchhunting or harassing anyone, this is discussion of media and someones poor takes on some clear themes in a show.

Okay you're using THE TERRIBLE WRITING OF S2 TO PROVE YOUR LITTLE HORRIBLE SLIMY GENOCIDAL GREASEMAN IN THE RIGHT???? WHY ARE YOU VOUCHING FOR HIM. WHY DO YOU SAY HIS IDEAS ARE RIGHT AUUUUGH-

How you continue to have terrible takes astounds me 💀 You can't be serious man how are you this like,,, braindead? And ignoring all of what S1 is trying to teach even before S2 came out? oh wait.

You choose your attraction of a gross ass man over LITERAL IN YOUR FACE PLOTPOINTS BECAUSE YOU'D RATHER MEATRIDE YOUR BABYGIRL MANDROID OVER EVERYTHING THE SHOW HAS BUILT UP. Not like you probably ever cared to connect any of the dots.

Oh, to help you do that, I have a previous post I made where I pinged you! You should read it before you read anymore, it'll help with what I'm about to preface here. Please READ IT.

Okay, time to dig into literally EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEEM TO LET GO OF THIS MAN AND HIS OBVIOUS LACK OF HUMANITY IN HIM AND CONTINUE TO SEE SOMETHING THATS NOT THERE. I will start off by saying the quality of the writing for season 2 and season 2's entire disregard for season 1 don't discredit season 1, no matter what nonsense there is. I hate season 2 for all its going for thus far and its just genuinely a waste of my braincells to try watching it again. There are also things not specifically related to mandroid but are also pet peeves that show your lack of attention to detail.

How. Did you miss this. Humans have been living with bots for 30 to 40 years at this point they don't bat an eye at them because THEY THINK THEY'RE JUST SOME BOTS CASUALLY WALKING AROUND. They don't give a fuck about the terrans; only a select few know they are even earth-born bots. Transformers have been living amongst humans casually don't you think they wouldn't give two fucks and know not to gawk at random robots walking around like they just started existing?

You saw the Philadelphia episode (I hope? because you act like you haven't) or really any episode they are just chilling and walking around, you didn't notice nobody gave a damn? What about Optimus, Elita 1, and other bots? Would you randomly gawk at a group of sapient beings walking amongst you who've been there for a lifetime?

No.

They had to hide FROM GHOST not FROM THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. Ghost would have tried to capture them and imprison them by deeming them a threat for merely existing, not humans as a whole. The fact you miss this entire detail is incredibly sad.

Okay now onto Mandroid stuff because you never stop meatriding him MY GOD

Huh, maybe you need to USE YOUR BRAIN and realize he was not protecting earth. He -thought- he was, because he perceived them as vermin who need to be wiped out and a threat to humanity. Like I said before in my last post DECEPTCONS DO NOT EQUAL ALL OF TRANSFORMERS OH MY GOD. Plus with this season its clear there can't be the same writers on this team. They have sacrificed the story for toymaking opportunities DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE HE'S NOT RIGHT JUST BECAUSE S2 SOMEHOW SAYS THE -CONS IN SPECIFIC (NOT ALL BOTS MY FUCKING GOD)- ARE TO NOT BE TRUSTED AND ARE DANGEROUS? USE YOUR CRANIUM THAT EVOLUTION HAS GIVEN YOU. Mandroid conflated every single transformer with a twisted ideal in his head born out of hate, not from a true sense of danger nor did he separate cons and autobots or unaligned bots in his head from the conglomerate "evil" he thinks they are.

As above so below, you're DEFENDING HIS TERRIBLE GENOCIDAL BEHAVIOR BY BEING LIKE "HE MIGHT HAVE DONE BAD STUFF BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY HE WAS JUST PROTECTING EARTH" over a giant guardian robot who's being mind controlled and had no intention to do this or will of her own. Why are you so adamant on convincing yourself he was a good or commendable man? Where is your basic comprehension of anything in this show at all. HE TRIED TO COMMIT GENOCIDE ON A WHOLE RACE OF BEINGS WHO HAD BEEN COEXISTING ON EARTH FOR YEARS. It's not something you can go 'erm acshually-" on.

He literally killed EVERYONE who was a transformer; even if their death wasn't permanent they still died because he saw them all as a disease needing to be eradicated.

He has no sense of humanity, only hate in his heart and the need to destroy. How do you think he was protecting earth when he had succeeded at murdering an entire population off the face of the earth even if it's only for about 5-10 minutes? HOW ARE YOU THIS BLIND TO MEATRIDE HIM THIS HARD.

I honestly doubt they knew about her, let alone understood the glyphs everywhere. They were just mapping ancient tunnels and figuring it out; Croft also probably forbid anyone from entering due to the DWELLERS, not Terratronus; she was well off course and well protected/hidden by dirt and freaky alien monsters. Even if they somehow DID know, GHOST probably just utilized Terratronus to justify imprisoning dozens of transformers; whether they were cons, neutral, or autobots that didn't want to be part of a government mass incarceration and control program. Mandroid probably didn't give a shit at the moment because he was busy trying to squash literal children like bugs. Shut up about this stupid attempt at the executives making money off of random plot bullshit and toymaking opportunities.

AS STATED IN MY LAST POST: YOU ARE CONFLATING DECEPTICONS WITH ALL TRANSFORMERS, AS MANDROID DID. ONE GROUP DOES NOT EQUAL ALL OF THEM, AND DOES NOT MAKE TRANSFORMERS AS A WHOLE DANGEROUS IF THERE ARE INDIVIDUALS WHO CAUSE TROUBLE. MANDROID SAW ALL TRANSFORMERS AS A THREAT EVEN IF THEY HAD BEEN LIVING WITH HUMANS PEACEFULLY FOR DECADES. YOU ARE HERE SIMPLY REITTERATING A STUPID AND NULL POINT THATS PROVEN WRONG AGAIN AND AGAIN IN S1. His reasoning behind his actions are "we need to get rid of these filthy dangerous vermin who are invading our precious planet." Also the chaos terrans being born evil is a horrible plotpoint and groups being born evil is terrible writing, just like the entirtey of Season 2 because these new writers on the team understand nothing about the show as is. (Yes, most of the writers in s2 never worked on s1)

This one. this one enraged me. This is the most recent post I'd seen about mandroid as of writing (june 8th) and you have SERIOUS AUDACITY to say this. HE KILLED ALL OF THE MALTO BOTS AND TRIED TO KILL ROBBY AND MO; WHAT MAKES YOUR FUCKING MANDROID LOVING SHRUNKEN AND POCKED BRAIN THINK THAT HE WOULD TEAM UP WITH THEM LIKE SOME BUDDY BUDDY ADVENTURE? HE ATTEMPTED AND COMMITTED GENOCIDE, UNETHICAL EXPERIMENTATION, CHILD MURDER, AND MORE.... HE WOULDN'T MAKE JUST """""SMARTASS COMMENTS""" HE'D STRAIGHT UP HATECRIME ALL OF THEM.

I'm not gonna be nice with this last one. You are incredibly media illiterate if not just lacking basic cognition to think he of all people would willingly team up with people he wanted to kill off during season 1. You watched the finale of season 1 and GATHERED NOTHING FROM IT. You, in all your 34 years of life, somehow have not obtained a single gram of "maybe I shouldn't vouch for and defend a person who's xenophobic and wants to commit genocide" despite enjoying writing and HISTORY. HOW ARE YOU ONE TO ENJOY HISTORY YET MAKE NO CONNECTIONS TO ATTROCITIES COMMITTED BY PEOPLE TO WHAT MANDROID IS DOING AND HOW THEY ARE WRONG AND ENTIRLEY UNFORGIVABLE. At this point I believe you to be willfully ignorant to pass off your crush on this man as okay and convince yourself he is right somehow; even going as far as to utilize this new season as an excuse for him.

Your audacity to think he is anything other than a pathetic horrible man with terrible and morally bankrupt goals and actions somehow will be nice to groups of people he hates astounds me to no end. The show gives you all you need to connect the dots and you haven't. I'm aware i'm likely talking to a brick wall because you're likely willingly ignorant to excuse yourself or will never read this but I will call out this nonsense regardless. It comes off as extremely weird and bordering on you just believing in the ideologies he spouts.

I will say this again to make it clear; Mandroid is a stand-in for people who believe in racist and xenophobic ideas, and will stop at nothing to destroy them. The transformers are an allegory for refugee immigrants, and the terrans are first gen decedents. You continuing to believe his lies and defending him just borderlines on you upholding racist ideals. (That might sound deranged af of a claim but considering the context... yeah)

TLDR for lazy people: This fool pinged in this post is claiming a character who ATTEMPTED TO COMMIT GENOCIDE as being in the right somehow with his ideals/actions and not a total morally bankrupt person. Meatriding getting in the way of logic.

-No cheers to you, Wizard and Cupid

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decolonize-the-left · 11 hours

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I am in the process of getting a new doctor. And by that I mean my insurance dropped my first one roughly a year ago so I made an appointment with my new primary who was also dropped before a second appointment. Then I had a new one but I then I accidentally double booked my kids therapy for the same day and didn't realize til we were already at her appointment so I rescheduled a new one.

These are 3-6 months apart btw. That's what the wait-list for a primary is like here for me.

Anyway so I have a new appointment in September and this whole time I haven't been working ofc cuz im in pain 24/7 and even when I had a job I'd be sent home cuz I'd just start sobbing in the break rooms or I'd be late cuz I had anxiety and didn't want to go, etc (long list, tldr: I'd be a bad employee if literally nothing else). Besides that I've never gotten passed the interview stage when I was looking for a job here.

So yeah. September is when I see my new doctor who probably won't open my file until I'm in his office.

Remember that.

I go to an appointment about my cash benefits a few days ago, now right? I've talked to these people on the phone, they know what's up with my situation. They said they'd waive the obligations for me, nbd. And every now and then you gotta renew them too, just making sure youre still poor, haven't moved, etc. So I go in think it's a formality thing and they just wanna make sure nothing changed.

Nope. Nobody took notes or filed anything so it just looks like I have been blowing off obligations I had for 6 months :)

All this to say fuck them for giving me 30 days to see a new doctor that I literally I can not see until September when it's literally out of my power to make it happen faster. And I'll be lucky if this new person is willing to sign off on a brand new patients disability forms too.

After 30 days thats half of our money they take until I get those forms signed.

This is life for those of us who are queer, poor, & disabled parents of color.

Lots of people have lots of stigmas about me. And that's creates certain beliefs around me, most often that it can't be that bad or that I'm even making up how bad it is.

I'm telling y'all it's that bad. When my benefits get cut it won't be because I wasn't trying, I already have an appointment.

I can't work. My gf's paychecks are getting garnished (this means debtors are taking money btw). We're both deeply mentally ill even if we can't prove our physical disabilities.

When I tell y'all that these benefits and your help is the only reason we eat after they run out, believe me.

This blog is my lifeline and it's just hits different after the last few days to open my asks and see some dipshit saying more classist shit to me even on tumblr

And I know that someone like me does not have a safe space. Never did. Probably never will. But this blog is my lifeline so can y'all just....not?

Can you just leave me alone instead of projecting your awful beliefs about everything I am into my asks, please?

You don't know me. Quit pretending you do to justify all the hatred you have.

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casp1an-sea · 1 day

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Cassander “Cas” Armyn My Spidersona

(the second one is what Ey looks like in Eir universe. Scroll all the way down to see more outfits and character designs)

Age: 18

Gender: Transmasc

Height: 5’1.75”

Pronouns: He/Him/Ey/Em

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none of these are completely 100% accurate to how I view them in my head because I am always changing his character and universe

———————————————————————— Universe: 131313

best described as an abstract art piece that is alive. Gravity shifts changing up to down and down to up. like in the art piece “Relativity”. It’s almost like a normal city, but the gravity shifts cause it to look like skyscrapers are jutting out at random angles, or even just floating in the sky. (kind of think mirror dimension from Doctor Strange) color, ships and changes as if it’s a separate being creating, a black-and-white inky world with the floating colored shapes. some are small while some are big covering home buildings but they never stay in one place or stay the same shape or size for long. The color of this universe is almost alive. (Similar to the color in “Sith” the first episode of season, two of Star Wars visions) for example, touching an object, would push the color of the object away as the color of your hand displaces it. The color that comes off with your hand when you touch things is unique to every person. And it seems like it has a mind of its own, making constantly shifting works of art around you. Technology is about the same as our universe but the animals and foliage is otherworldly and everything has a painterly feel and the “line art” is always sketchy and smudgy similar to my own. The grass is purple and liquids float.

Canon Events:

Spider bite

Close person death

Commander death

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Extra:

Has been Spider-Man for roughly 4 years, in the Spider Society for 2

Movement signature: Uses alot of elements of acrobatics and gymnastics so tends to do complex jumps and flips. Enjoys falling as long as possible before catching Emself.

Goes by both his first and last name

Flaps hands when nervous or excited

Has Eczema and psoriasis

His color is bright orange

Produces web naturally so doesn’t need web shooters but in order to continually produce silk he does eat it

Has fangs but has no clue what they do as he has no desire to bite anything

Can see extremely long distances and also see in UV color spectrum

Carries a spiky shield on his back resembling a yellow kite spider (can also use it as a weapon by attaching a web to it so he can throw it and pull it back) (I swear I made this up before I got obsessed with Captain America)

Shoulder panels lift up on the suit and can shoot out small needles, inspired by the tarantula; they act similar to whistling birds from Star Wars, however they just knock people out rather than exploding

Suit is decorated in paint markings to resemble real life spiders; like most art in the universe they shift and change

Has heat receptors over the eyes on the suit

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Backstory: In Cassander’s universe Alchemax was a company that closed down years ago. Casander grew up with his parents and younger sister in brooklyn. They always had a strained relationship. When Cassander way 15 Ey moved into Peter Parker’s house where he was living with his aunt and uncle so that he could attend Peter’s school. Cassander was best friends with Peter and later Harry Osborn. Peter was often bullied at school and wanted nothing more than to be popular. He used his friendship with Harry as an In to the popular kid cliche but they really only ever teased him and Cassander often had to deal with the aftermath. Cassander never hung around Harry at school much because Harry was still friends with the popular kids like Ned Leeds and Flash Thompson. While Harry did try to get his popular friends not to pick on Peter they often gave him too much slack which is something he and Cassander argued over a lot. One day the popular kids told Peter that if he wanted to join their click he had to do an initiation ceremony. He had to stay the night in the abandoned alchemex building. Cassander tried to tell Peter that this was just to make him look stupid and asked him not to do it because it was dangerous but Peter refused. Cassander tried to get a hold of Harry but he wouldn’t answer so instead Cassander decided that he had to go in as well and make sure Peter stayed safe. That was the night Cassander was bitten after brushing the spider off of peter. They also stumbled upon a laboratory Norman Osborn had been using to make the green goblin serum, but saw nothing because of green fog that filled the room. Peter got cut on some glass So Cassander talked him into leaving. When they exited Harry had arrived. The next day Cassander discovered Eir spider abilities. That night Cassander snuck out and decided to return To Alchemax alone to try and find the spider. Instead He had his first encounter with a Green goblin. Cassander decided he would forget about his powers and try to live normally. Harry stopped hanging out with Ned and him and Cassander got together. The next Peter looked a little strange and was acting weird. Throughout the week peter began to act stranger and stranger. Finally one night Cassander realized he was acting like a green goblin and assumed the cut had become infected. Cassander revealed this to Peter, revealing Eir spider powers in the process. Peter wanted to return to Alchemax but Cassander said no. The next day Harry asked Cassander to go out and eat dinner with his Dad (Norman aka green goblin). Harry ended up running out of that dinner cause his dad is a bitch. Little did Cassander know he was going to Alchemax because he had stayed after Cassander and petter had left the other night and discovered his dads lab. Norman asked Cassander to stay in the desert. He reluctantly agreed but things got tense and. Norman started acting strange, violent even, Cassandee ran away in fear accidentally stumbling upon Norman’s green goblin mask. He rushed home to tell Peter but when he got home Peter wasn’t there Cassander knew that he had gone back to Alchemax. It was too late he had been killed by green goblin, Who Cas did not know was not Norman this time but Harry. Peter's death inspired Cassander to become Spider-Man. As spider man he often worked alongside police captain Gwen Stacy until she was ultimately killed when Cassander couldn’t save her. Norman Osborn as green goblin accidentally killed himself in a fight with spider-man who hid Norman was green goblin for Harry’s sake. Harry believed spiderman had killed him. infected by the goblin serum became mad hunting down spider man. The two ultimately found out each other's identities and it was revealed that Harry killed Peter not Norman. They’re relationship is on an indefinite break, but they haven’t technically broken up, it’s complicated. —————————————————————————

Other Cassander Outfits, I was too lazy to edit the pajamas

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Harold “Harry” Osborn “Green Goblin”

Unlabeled gender, He/They

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Peter Parker

Male He/Him

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DR. Chuwi Quispe Mamani

(This universe’s Dr. Strange)

Agender They/Them

————————————————————Aaron Davis

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@xen-blank, @thehollowwriter, @l7k-a, @ferris-the-wheel, @keii-starz

@krenenbaker @elenauaurs @the-banana-0verlord @edith-is-a-cat @dove-da-birb

@theosb0rnway @fizzydreamz @ravenwing0110

@diabollicallyangelic @xentari94 @tomatette

@dragonflies-draw-flame @sunshinechildskywalker @silly-little-goober-core

#cas’s ocs #spider verse #spider man #spidersona #harry osborn #aaron davis #peter parker #dr. strange #self insert

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help-rawan-muhammad · 2 days

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🇵🇸 PLEASE DO NOT SCROLL! 🇵🇸

Below is a written piece by Rawan Muhammad, a Palestinian woman who needs our help. Please read her writing and donate to her GoFundMe. If you cannot donate, please, please, please share her words and her donation link!

FIRST PIECE-GOFUNDME WRITEUP

My name is Rawan Muhammad, and I am communicating with you from northern Gaza. I am studying in my third year in the Engineering Department. My future, my dreams, and my university have been destroyed. I am seeking to restore my unknown future because of this damned war, like the rest of the world’s students. My family and I are facing unimaginable hardships. Imagine an entire sector without water or electricity. There is no food, hospital, education, or home. We are on the verge of famine in the north. The terrible loss of our entire family shattered our lives. Our home was completely destroyed. Not only that, we became homeless forever because it was taken into the entity's buffer zone, we were left with nothing, leaving us alone in a world full of uncertainty and despair. With no source of income or support, we find ourselves navigating through these difficult times amid the ongoing atrocities of the occupation. Every second a new massacre is committed and rings of fire that no person in this world can bear. During this ordeal, I appeal to you to extend a helping hand to us, and to offer hope and comfort in our darkest hours. Your generosity can make a profound difference in our lives, providing us with the means to rebuild and forge a brighter future.

Can you describe this and focus with me for a moment, but try the feeling of every Gazan among us. 8 months ago, this damned war on the Gaza Strip began. It did not come out of nowhere, but rather because of the siege we are living in in this beautiful city. There are no free crossings open to us like other countries, no trains, no jobs, and no people’s most basic rights. Simple in any country, everything is controlled by a murderous Zionist entity that controls us

Every Gazan among us had dignity and self-esteem that was distributed to the whole world, and he sat at home happily, despite the sorrow we were experiencing. We were satisfied, relaxed, and thanked God for the little things. Everything was simple and made us happy. Our demands were simple, despite what made our specializations under this, including usurpation. It was considered... He made a great effort in the Middle East and stood alongside the largest countries in the world with the largest weapons in the world towards simple adaptation that did not have the equipment and equipment, but always relied on God.

Come, listen and focus on what Al-Ghazawi has been experiencing since October 7. No one has remained in his home since that day. We have all become displaced from place to place, under the belts of fire, under the remains of innocent women and children, under the rubble of houses that have become graves for their people. During this period, only one ambulance was able to go out. Anyone who left as a martyr was directly targeted, even if he was under international protection

They did not spare an ambulance or a journalist to broadcast the truth and the crimes committed by this accursed occupation. They were doing so to conceal the hideous truth that they were committing against our children, our women, and our elderly. I remember during that period, I did not sleep for just a single day due to the intensity of the bombing, the fire belts, and the hideous massacres. I was saying every second, “Here it comes.” It was our turn. We were all bearing witness to ourselves. Perhaps it was our last breath. No one would accept us to sleep alone. We were gathered in the same room. You can imagine why, so that none of us would feel sorry for anyone.

It was committing massacres in a very crazy way. The sound of the drones and the warplanes did not leave the Strip for a single day. Imagine, 24 hours a day, you hear that sound. Dear listener, our people were deceived into leaving to the south, considering it a safe area. More than 2 million people were displaced to this area. They tasted the scourges of torment in this small, inexhaustible outpost. It can handle this number due to its small area and the army entering every area and destroying it. After they used to rest in their homes, they began to move in tents from one area to another every now and then due to the ground entry of the occupation. Have you tried living in a tent and enduring its extreme heat, dear? You can imagine since that day there is no internet. In the Gaza Strip, there is no reassurance transmission, and there is no drinking water, and since that day, this city has not been illuminated

We now walk very long distances to obtain water. Our most basic rights are not potable water, but rather well water. We use it for drinking and other means. We no longer have a washing machine to wash clothes. All of this happens in the hands of the women of Gaza. We cannot fill a single barrel to use it to rinse the utensils. We fill the utensils and wash them. You can imagine. How difficult this is. There is not a single gas point in the Strip to use for cooking. We buy wood at very high prices for cooking. There is no electricity to charge the phone or battery to use for lighting. You have to walk some distance to find someone who uses solar energy to help you charge to meet your needs at nominal prices. Can you imagine? This suffering is not the hunger that afflicted us for months in northern Gaza because no aid truck has entered since the beginning of this aggression.

Everything has become insanely expensive due to high prices. The Strip has become on the brink of famine. Imagine your child waking up to get a living and you cannot meet his request in northern Gaza due to the lack of a living. My people in the north were going under death, under tanks, and over the bodies of martyrs who rose to get food. Every night, a new massacre was committed against these civilians who went to silence their starving children. Otherwise, they were deprived of their education, as their schools became shelters for the displaced, and there were no banks from which to spend your salary. If you wanted to receive your salary, you would receive half of it because of the high commission, so the sector became on the verge of poverty. Due to the lack of banks, everything in Gaza was destroyed. There was no house, street, mosque, hospital, school or university left to complete my dream and future that I started with. Everything was completely destroyed and nothing remained in Gaza except the complete destruction of the infrastructure. This is the goal of this damned war 😭

To this day, we cannot buy anything. We were deprived of all kinds of vegetables and fruits for 8 months in the northern Gaza Strip. Even if they are available in small quantities, their price is so crazy that you cannot buy them. You can imagine all these crimes happening in a small city in exchange for an organization that relies on God. Save what is left of us in This great city conveyed our voice to the world 💔😭

The situation is very bad in the north. Famine is hitting us again. We cannot really get food now. There is no gas or wood for cooking. The situation is very bad. We do not have our most basic rights. For 8 months, we have not eaten meat, vegetables, fruit, or anything that is found in malls, such as chocolate and chips. 💔 And we were satisfied. We ate the grasses of the earth and animal fodder here in the north for 5 months, and here the famine returns again.

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izayoichan · 8 months

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Autumn Vibes. 🎶

#simblr #the ward legacy #simblrstories #ts4 #ts4 alpha #ts4 screenshots #sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #sims 4 screenshots #the sims 4 screenshots #Hayle Ward #Christian Ward #yep #I am using the same thing I made last year #as I have not had time nor interrest in looking for #or making something else #and I do like it #autumn is here

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cthulhum · 2 months

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does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship

#supernatural #dean winchester #spn #destiel #castiel #deancas #misha collins #im 20 i have been Experiencing supernatural and johnlock since i was 12 and merthur since wayy before that i have fought Wars #this is crazy #i love u hannibal i love u 911 (if u make eddie gay)#for the love of god by 'mostly headcanoned' i dont mean that it was never intentional #i am aware that they put the subtext in on purpose #they knew what they were doing #but my focus here is on the actor actually saying it because like #if its not mostly headcanoned then y was the entire cast denying it for years AND YEARS #like do yall not remember what jared and jenesn used to say #there have been many many many instances where the cast has made us feel crazy/stupid for saying anything abt destiel #im just saying TO ME its crazy that actors and creators talk so openly about these things now !!! again i was raised on merlin and sherlock #ok also im confused on the queerbaiting part #everyones saying its queer coding and not queer baiting but cant they be true at the same time ?#im not being dumb on purpose i swear im just confused #like yes dean is very much bi coded and their relationship is queer coded but if the creators deny everything #and we only get a last minute confession after 11 years #that doesnt count as queer baiting ?#someone smart explain this to me 🙏

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dootznbootz · 4 months

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Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D #I am the cheese god remember?😅#I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses #“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY #And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D #I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together #(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the #“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion #How what they have could never be sullied by #something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son.#'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo #no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that #even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.'#...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then #“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her #catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works.#...#I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D #They are so silly and I love them so much #...I wrote a lot :'D #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #odypen #yahoo!!!#sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane

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keeps-ache · 2 months

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wink blink look !!

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #sona #ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgghhhh #am i RIGHT guys hfhvs #:33 #//not many thoughts recently #not many thoughts for a while actually lol #must've talked myself weary! huh!#/let me try at this though - i feel like i have some little part of my brain that's all stopped up #it's been like that for a minute !#/ah but a question - do you ever stand by a bit of forest and hear what are distinctly Whispers ?#i know it's definitely the wind but it's fun to think it's anything else lol :>>#ghosts or fairies or the road down the hill for whatever reason #/oh and speaking of hearing i got a weird + shrill + loud tone in my ear the other day and it just didn't happen again #a sudden EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and then it stopped lmao #funky stuff man. wonder what's up with that hfhs #//anyway i'm working on my artfight references rn lol :)#i've finished one! what a miracle!! hfsh-#it looks a lot better than the one last year like Wow. don't think the same person made these you know what i mean hfh #//ah i've also started using padlet for realsies this time :>#it's a neat spot - it's gonna be great to just have the palettes i need on another device loll #that's the biggest problem i have on this planet! having to scroll my blog for palettes is not the most fun thing hfsh #/anyway gonna get back to it!!#i'm sort of tired but i Really wanna make kira and hid's this yearrr #they are very ~+~+~ <3 ~+~+~ to me lol :>>#so toodles ! here i go again hfhsv

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totheidiot · 2 months

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i hate that the solar eclipse just now serves as a reminder that nobody loves me.

#🍂 arian's shit #IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HAPPENED. but yeah #i will always think of the solar eclipse i witnessed and think about that #two people one of them my friend the other i thought i could consider my friend but HE PROBABLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.#they both talked and did their things and laughed and they are so damn close to each other it almost made me cry and reminded me that #it was such a profound moment too when i realized what was going on #they were in another world that didn't have me and i get that. i do. they have known each other for a year and i abruptly showed up #two months ago and one of them we are getting close she likes me around #at least i think #the other one he is nice he is supposed to be like this he is nice to everyone that is who he is #so what is happening: he is completely indifferent to me. most he did was remember my name and face. but he is nice.#i like them both so so much it almosg does hurt when i stood there awkwardly almost like i was intruding #and i realized that i have never not been close to anyone #no acquaintances all the friendships i have had they sre the reason why i live and i know that they live for me too #we have known each other since kindergarten. they held my face and cried and told me that i was love when i was leaving for the last time #they love me. i am sure of it.#but now i don't have anyone near whom i do love. people don't love me. i used to be love.#it also hurts that i am Average Person In The World #i am not funny. i do not have unique quirks. i do not have a single talent.#all i am good for is saying the wrong things all time.#even in my old life i was someone. someone who isn't the same as the person who saw the solar eclipse today and felt all this #i was the idiot. I WAS THE IDIOT. i was the writer person.#i don't feel like any of these things now. they had a thing in common: their capacity to love and be loved.#i love very easily but i am not an easy person to love.#vent post #god this is such a small little thing i am the most pathetic thing in the world #feel free to scroll away don't even read this shit #arian contemplates his universe

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steviescrystals · 1 month

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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school #so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away #i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute #and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with #someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over #so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job #not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people #and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie #or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired #i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family #but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying #and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home #logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do #i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out #and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years #i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year #i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out #even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times #and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable #i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something #plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later #vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space #and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year #and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends #so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything #i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything #but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know #i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to #vent

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novelconcepts · 5 months

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i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

#i'm finishing it if it kills me #i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever #if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement #and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written #which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you #not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish #and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping #to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy #and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished #come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)

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seilon · 24 days

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genuinely it is so depressing to spend money drinking just to end up doing nothing interesting and just sitting around

#i need friends who like. doing things.#i need more friends in general but i mean yeah.#would love to have an actual college experience one day. I’ve been in college 4 years or so and I’ve never been to a party and I’ve never #made lasting/close friendships. since pre-covid I haven’t really made friends at all #all my friends (all four of them) are from high school #it’s really fucking pathetic actually how incapable I am of making friends or having a life #and it just feels like a huge fucking waste of time and a waste of a college environment #part of me wishes I would rent at a place full of mostly other students and get a roommate I don’t know (as much as that’s a bad idea if #it’s anything like last time) just so I can be around people and be forced to meet people #also so I can avoid getting lowkey fucked over because my friends I’m supposed to be renting with eventually don’t want to pay a #significant amount of rent and I’d end up paying way more than them just because they supposedly can’t afford it (we all have about the same #income.)#gehsdhdhdhshhd #they also want to rent a place with four of us total and I just. really don’t want to live with that many people. like I think it would #drive me fucking insane. I need control over my surroundings and that leaves me with no control and I don’t like it #and a million other reasons I don’t like the idea #it was originally just supposed to be me and one friend. so. this was not the plan #hahsgshhshh anyway kill me #I’m in that post-drinking state where all pleasant affects of the alcohol have long since worn off and I’m just sort of left a hollow shell #depressed and disappointed.#and I have to go to work this afternoon woohoo awesome so cool #kibumblabs

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new-bird-song · 4 months

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One thing ive been thinking about lately is that like

Its okay to only ever make bad art. Its okay to only paint "boring" things or only draw the same thing a million times or only be "okay" at sewing or crochet. Sometimes i think theres this idea that its okay to make bad art because its part of the process of making good art, but i think its fine to make art that is bad or just okay and not keep looking at it thinking about ways it is flawed or ways to make it better. If you want to improve and grow, thats great and you will through the process of just doing something over and over or looking for advice or other ways of learning.

But its also totally okay to only ever want to make bad art