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nighttimeoracle · 2 years

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（＋１８）１０ｔｈｉｎｇｓａｂｏｕｔｙｏｕｒｓｏｕｌｍａｔｅｐｔ．２

Since someone already asked for it, I bring you guys a new list of 10 messages that would help you identify the energy of your future partner or spouse. Just think of your intention before picking one pile (or two? We are never too greedy in matters of the heart) from below.

I warn you: this reading is like a Pandora Box 😈. Once opened, you can expect anything to come out! Such as your SO's personality, physical description, career, preferences at sexy time (guaranteed) or a direct message for you.

English is not my mother language, so please bear with me.

Pile I → Pile II

Pile III → Pile IV

✨Pile I✨

To honor the masculine energy from this pile I'm going to use he/him to address the person being described here, ok? He is an inventor. He might be an engineer or scientist. His mind goes so fast! I was bombarded with images as soon as I pulled one card and I felt he experienced the same with his innovating ideas. He got a great imagination and intuition, and tends to hold his chin frowning when he's pondering over an idea. Plenty of "Eruka!" moments. Jimmy Neutron’s vibes. For some of you, this could be your future spouse.

Not going to lie. This person could be Asperger or be within the autistic spectrum. He’s highly functional, but his social skills and the way he deals with intimacy is not what you might expect or had encountered before. This is a brutally honest man. He means no harm, I would even say he remains innocent and incorruptible, but he lacks tack. Plus, he enjoys being alone a little bit too much and can lose all sense of time easily.

He is a star in his job field. He's known for his polemic ideas and inventios. Has earned many prices and recognition from their professors and well-known people. He's like a celebrity. This person seeks glory and surpasses himself all time. He's goal oriented, ambitious, and hard-working.

He looks like a golden retriever. I swear I'm not making this up, lol. Light curly hair, brown eyes under thick glass, rounded face (which makes him look younger), and a dimple or scar on his chin. He likes wearing flannel shirts, the green one he owes is his favorite. They're a walking cliché. He looks like a nerd and is a very cute one.

His personality is as complex as his feelings. He’s easily misunderstood, people think he’s too caught up with his own ideas, heavily criticized for his hyper focus. He has experienced rejection his whole life, leading him to be a hermit by choice and focus on his interests alone. A random fact: he has a comfort item. I think it could be an action figure from their childhood. He could a be collector as well.

Despite of all the above mentioned, they're kind and funny. Sometimes a bit childish, too. He's genuinely a good person, yet a bit obnoxious and detached. Gets excited quickly and he is bright like the sun! Got a big wide smile. If he chose you like his friend, you would belong to his inner circle forever.

He’s patient and methodical. He operates the same way in love. You will feel under no pressure by his side and like you're dating a celebrity, but he's too focused on his work/interests and will make you wait for days/weeks to go meeting you. He might give you the impression he is not interested in you at all, but big news! He has acted the same way towards past lovers and he hasn’t learned anything from then. It's only his fault his dating life is dead.

You might feel insecure by his side because of his continuous absent or how slowly your relationship seems to evolve. He is sort of well-off, the smartest person you've ever met, and good looking... "I bet the ladies are throwing themselves at him when I am not around", could be one recurrent thought of yours. He can seem unpredictable to you, too. But let me tell you two secrets: I swear this person is not fully asexual/aromantic by a biological miracle, so some worries of yours would be unfounded. Secondly, they might not be overly affectionate, but they would be both fascinated and touched by your warm and care. This relationship has a karmatic quality to it. You two could’ve ignored people and hurt them in the past, were self-absorbed and lost in vanity, one of you or both had to deal with a narcissistic parent. You would be projecting on each other.

You're an insecure person and this relationship will hit your Achilles's heel in order to heal your wounds and expand your conscious. You're probably used to fast paced situationships which would be the opposite from this one. But you're not the only one here to be challenged, dear. Your person got to learn to listen and understand his lover and see you're more than a pretty face and a baby maker... He is old fashioned in the sense he thinks he should tight the knot and reproduce with the person he dates for the longest.

In sex they could be into role-playing. He would pretend to purchase the services of the most alluring and dangerous female fatale in town, or you would have to pretend you're guilty of charges and your lover would handcuff you before passing down the sensual punishment on you. He also likes sex in the water but making it comfortable with candle lights around, soft music playing on the background and he might even insist on washing you. He would pour liquid soap on your tits then proceed to rub and massage them tenderly, delighting himself at the erotic image and your loud moans. You can expect to spend a Saturday night within a jacuzzi or a private hot spring with your sweetheart. He's fascinated with the idea of having sex in the rawest and more natural way… yes, with the idea of creating life.

I'm glad you've made it so far! I hope this reading was to your liking and I would love to read your thoughts if want to share them on the replies.

I can give you a "10 messages of your soul mate" reading for a reasonable price, so feel free to contact me for more info.

I do accept tips or donations through this link.

✨Pile II✨

I’m getting prominent masculine energy from this pile, so I will address this person as a man for a matter of convenience. He’s facing the same hardships from a colleague student or a rookie at his work field. He hates capitalism and his current job. He might feel misunderstood or pressured by his parents and/or society, but he’s too proud to open up about his worries or problems with his friends. You already know this young man or you’re about to. You will know it’s him by how thin he looks, the dark shadows under his eyes and his five o’clock beard.

He would like hanging out with you. It distracts him from his drawbacks, plus he feels you’re sticking out for him in a different way. You don’t ask him difficult questions, you focus on having a good time and his comfort. You would be worry of his health, and he finds enticing you would always suggest meeting at a place where you can have a meal and chat in a relax environment.

I hope you haven’t been disappointed by the first hint I dropped at his appearance. He’s slender, yes, but possesses muscles in all the right places and wide shoulders. White complexion and defined cheek bones, people joke about him almost being casted as a vampire in the Crepuscule movies or something along those lines. He’s tall and has a fine bone structure, this man possesses such a sex appeal and his masculinity is fully displayed. There’s a queue of females hoping to get his attention.

There would be a high sexual tension between the two. He knows he should be focusing on reaching his goals first and settling down later, but he can never ignore your calls and would try to leave some time in his schedule to go meeting you. He won’t be able to shake you off from his thoughts, but not everything in the garden is rosy, dear. He tends to castrate himself from pleasure in favor of status and success. He relies on security a lot and he’s also the type to believe he can’t commit to a partnership if he doesn’t have the resources to provide for his lover. He might find himself at odds about what to do with your connection.

This man is emotionally complex. He’s a serious and logical person, but he acts fatherly at times and is empathetic with the people he cares about. Lowkey, he seeks for compression and to have emotional connection with the other. He would like to be friendlier and vulnerable, but I think he missed the chance to nurture that tender side of his as he once was a child required to grow up quickly. He would instinctively hide these truths from you because he’s ashamed.

He hates to be treated like a child or nuisance, yet he’s infatuated with you and your motherly affection and thoughtfulness (mother issues detected). He’s quick to feel guilt and you might notice when he’s feeling remorseful around you. He’s a terrible liar. I sense he directs his anger towards himself alone, he doesn’t have issues with facing off, it just… it’s useless to him. He might be half diplomatic, half profit-seeking, so he might not upset anyone that could be useful to him. This stubborn and proud man would give the cold shoulder instead.

He is into outdoor activities, he feels called to be close to nature, thus you could go hiking together or taking a stroll in a park. He’s definitely a dog person, he might owe a dog and you might end up in a date in a dog park or having a picnic day and he took his dog along. He is a magnet to animals, so don’t get surprised when all the strays come running to be petted by him. At this point it’s painfully obvious he’s an Earth sign. If you google “Capricorn” and search for images, the first to pop up would show you a picture of his face.

He’s a mother’s dream son-in-law, lol. He seems to be popular around elders, mothers and daughters. He’s well educated, polite, accommodating, and money orientated. People will trust him quickly and believe he got a great future ahead. But he can’t help to feel he’s being watched all time. The expectations of others on him pressure him to surpass and innovate himself over and over. He got to deal with a lot of stress in his daily life because of this. Thanks to his unique circumstances, he was able to fully cultivate his cognitive intelligence and become a great advisor. He could be a law or psychology student.

Not going to lie to you. Your connection might feel highly therapeutic to each other, but specially to him. We got he has issues with being vulnerable, yet he would find himself opening up to you slowly. There would be times when he would just spill the beans and feel embarrassed later. Whenever he’s feeling frustrated or like venting, his speech would turn sharp and slightly violent. It would feel like you’re watching a play, you could find it dramatic and incredible how deeply this man’s feelings can run. You will pity him, but can empathize with him, too. Both will share a sense of mutual protection and trust. A traumatic confession might turn into a night of passionate sex.

It’s an all-or-nothing-in-bed type of person. He’s into practices that seek “trust” and “vulnerability” and that might inspire fear to the inexperience. I’m not talking about dark or forbidden sex per se, but he’s diffidently into bondage, blindfolding, gagging, sex toys, and dom-sub dynamics. You can expect him to pin down your wrists above your head while he’s thrusting into you, and giving you deep kisses that would leave you without oxygen if they last a bit longer. He’s an intense lover, and once he had left all inhibitions behind, he would go wild below the sheets. You wouldn’t have to worry about being mistreated, since he would be sticking out for you inside and outside the bedroom.

I'm glad you've made it so far! I hope this reading was to your liking and I would love to read your thoughts if want to share them on the replies.

I can give you a "10 messages of your soul mate" reading for a reasonable price, so feel free to contact me for more info.

I do accept tips or donations through this link.

✨Pile III✨

I’m getting a lot of feminine energy from this pile. This could be a woman but if you’re into men, this one is not afraid to express his divine feminine energy. He’s tender hearted, thoughtful and serene. He’s a natural teacher, people are attracted to him because they’re sure they could learn something from him, even if they don’t know what exactly. He might give off the image he’s a religious man or highly spiritual. He’s a luminous being, children and animals are attracted to him. His chart is a curious mix of Taurus, Aquarius and probably Gemini.

He might not be very talkative, though. He rather listens, watches and then act. He’s sort of a prodigy, he’s fairly young but he was gifted with wisdom and fortune in regard of opportunities and/or wealthiness. He’s like a hermit, he would warm up to others, but wouldn’t allow them to get too close. He might feel used by people and then discarded at times or it’s a primal fear of his, but I’m getting it’s him who does not know how to set healthy boundaries.

I’m going to be frank with you. You will have to chase after him and gain his trust. This is a challenge and although you might feel discouraged at times by the seemly lack of progress, you would recharge your motivation each time you are recalled of his potential and the loving person he actually is (while it’s charming you believe in him, beware of making up too many excuses for him). I know it might not be enough or worth the effort for some people, your friends might even try to dissuade you from wooing this person, but he could’ve reminded you of your past self and that’s why you wouldn’t give up easily on him. This pile is for the go-getters that were timid once and the people who has not confessed their love for anyone ever. This man would inspire you to try new things and get in contact with the side of you that still believes in romance.

This is not a heartless or invincible person. He won’t ignore you if you approach him to talk or to seek advice, he’s always eager to provide guidance and to have intellectual exchanges. He responds to kindness and humbleness very well, so you will be able to melt the ice wall between you eventually. This could be the best student of your class or your boss’s son, for some reason or another you two can't avoid to interact since you belong to the same community. You might bond over light themes like a favorite tv show, music, food or pet peeves… He will be very invested in the conversations you have and might find your perspective on things really innovated or the way you speak is witty and full of emotions.

Oh my, Cupid's arrow will hit this man and he might not realize it right away. He could start overthinking of your conversations and the way he would like to pick up where you left next time he meets you. He wouldn’t be fully aware of how often he’s reminded of you. You might catch him staring at you from afar or approaching you to ask you for small and almost absurd favors. You might find yourself thinking, “it’s really simple. Why is he asking me to do that?” His odd behavior will confuse you since he’s unable to tell what’s wrong or what he wants from you. You would frustrate him equally while making him experiment new emotions. I’m getting this person is not known for dating or engaging in love affairs, but you would shake his resolve.

He doesn’t fool around. He’s worry of hurting people so that’s partly the reason why he doesn’t go for flings either. He’s sensible yet ignorant of the emotional world and stuff like romance or dating. He might not see it as a necessity, plus he´s under too much academic or professional pressure to care for those things. But he´s tempted, you know? This connection would take off when the Universe is inviting you both to do some inner work and integrate major changes. He’s only slow-witted when it comes to relationships, so it might take him some time to digest and start acting on his feelings consciously. You will wake him up and make him realize of his longings and the neglected parts of himself.

I don’t know how old some of you are, since I’m getting messages for seemly young people and some of you might be older but new to love experiences. This connection will bring you a lot of “firsts”, like your first date, love confession or sex encounter. You will explore together the stars and while that could be an allusion for pleasure, there’s something about nighttime, secrecy and making wishes that would be important to you. I’m getting you will go star sighting or on a date in a planetary museum. None might feel comfortable sharing with the rest you’re seeing each other or you would wait until you’re officially together to release the news. You would be very intimate with each other and exchange your deepest secrets.

I think he’s an old soul. This hasn’t stopped him from learning and trying new stuff, though. He speaks multiple languages, do well with math and could be interest in one specific culture (he might be a descendant of immigrants then it’s his culture). He’s very artsy and might excel at activities like sewing, cooking and cleaning. He’s into painting, doodling and making jewelry. He’s an overall clean person, like mentally and physically. He could be an architect, teacher or nurse at present or later on.

This connection could suffer some delays. He might need to go overseers for work/studies or you might need to focus on working on your thesis (in case you don’t belong to the same class). This is a general reading so the scenarios will be different for everyone, what I can tell you right now it’s you would be texting each other a lot until you can finally meet again. I can tell you might lose easily to each other and forget about the real world and responsibilities. It might even happen so often that you would be facing hard consequences later and “those delays” are actually you two dealing with jobs behind or unattended life areas. Be careful guys, you might fall hard for this person and would be required to mature sooner if you want this relationship to last.

He is a massive freak in the sheets. His fantasies would leave you speechless. He’s into handcuff, blindfolding, belts and oral sex. He’s such a dom! He wants to immobilize you and make you beg for his cock. He will get you to scream out of pleasure. He can come off like too intense and he will thrust slowly and in depth you. He might not mutter a word during the act, only grunts and heavy breathing. His approach to sex is very intuitive and raw. He might enjoy to be watched by a third party or sex in the open is a go for him. He likes to fuck, he’s not cute in the sheets and he might have to hold himself a little so he’s not too rough on you. While he’s not very emotional involved during the act, he’s all into aftercare and cuddling and would seek your praise.

I'm glad you've made it so far! I hope this reading was to your liking and I would love to read your thoughts if want to share them on the replies.

I can give you a "10 messages of your soul mate" reading for a reasonable price, so feel free to contact me for more info.

I do accept tips or donations through this link.

✨Pile IV✨

Another pile with prominent masculine energy, thus I will use he/him to address this person. He’s known for being a lucky person and quick-witted. He got expressive and bright eyes, they could be green or light brown. He’s tall with long limbs and with a good sense of fashion. I don’t know why I’m seeing the image of a man wearing a tuxedo. I suspect he might have to dress formally because of his job, although I can´t tell whether he’s a salary man at present or still a student. He has a youthful appearance that can fool anyone about his real age, plus his personality is warm like melted caramel and charming. He’s the type to gift lollipops to children and flowers to ladies. He might not even suspect that’s a sign of flirting for the latter case, so yeah, he can be oblivious too.

He’s cunning yet he doesn’t have anything to hide or his every action is see-through to anyone. He might be a childhood friend or someone you would get along so well and have such a familiarity with that you might feel like you’ve known each other forever. You might have a group of friends in common or you would start interacting more openly during an event or game. I can sense people around, but the way he would treat you is different, almost intimately and you couldn’t help to feel all fussy inside yet very confused. You might believe he’s hard to read and would obsessively compare the way he addresses you with how he speaks to the others. I see a lot of overthinking and suspicion coming from you, but let me enlighten you, the experience would be real and his interest for you genuine.

You might’ve gone through a recent breakup or there would be something haunting you (could be mental illness or having too much on your plate) by the time he would display full interest in you. It could’ve started with him noticing you were down and wanting to cheer you up, then he would get more engaged after knowing you farther. You might not take him seriously at the beginning, you might think of him like a clown or someone out of your league (I’m sorry to say this, but some of you might not admit he’s out of your league so you called him a “clown” instead to delude yourself.) Trust issues detected, but they do come from you, not him. He would still persist on getting closer to you and eventually you would warm up to him.

He’s into games and sports, so he might challenge you to compete on your area of expertise. You might be a sporty person too, or you’re more into gaming or board games. He’s super versatile, he can do all those, but he would definitely follow your lead. His love language is providing quality time, so he will try to make the most out of the time you spend together. He wants to have fun and this person is mentally restless, so I see him asking you questions or going for intellectual exchanges. He would fascinate you and leave you breathless at times. You might feel like this is the first time someone has ever gave you so much attention or like you’re hanging out with the most interesting person around. He has anecdotes to share and he’s so good at storytelling.

He will take you on an emotional roller-coaster or any equally adrenaline ride. If you’re a bit closed-up or got issues opening up to others, you will to this person and he would become your best friend. This connection might not have tittles for a while, but it would be painfully obvious to anyone your confidants and into each other. He would want to introduce you to his friends and take you to parties, but don’t worry, he will keep an eye on you all time and he would be fairly protective of you too. He’s a social butterfly and he will attempt to make you get loose a little. He might come off a bit forceful at first, only because he got your best interest at heart, but you got to tell him when to stop or whenever you’re feeling uncomfortable and he will back off. Remember, none of you is a mind reader, so communication would be key for this connection.

This connection will trigger positive changes for both and getting expansion within social and emotional areas. I think this person is too good on putting on a “everything is fine” mask, so you might have troubles seeing him for who they are or not idealizing him, but with time this mask will crumble down and you will see the human behind and the unattended wounds. He might be friendly and popular, but he too got trust issues. He doesn’t usually speak about his hardships or emotions with others, so your friendship would be really special to him by providing him a safe space to vent and be himself. You would have to be a little bit patient with him since he might not fully realize his romantic feelings for you until later. He’s dense as a rock when it comes to love. He might be a bit of a flirt, but if you confront him about it, he would tell you he’s only being nice to people. He’s not lying to you, but I get why it might still annoy you. Here’s a secret: he might turn uncharacteristically shy and loss at words before the one he's crushing on.

He’s someone who is very sensual and possesses the gift of timing. The pauses in his speech, the side looks or the seconds it would take him to bite his lower lip and release it look rehearsed by how smoothly they’re conveyed. This is not someone loud or childish per se, but he might be filterless when speaking and he cannot stay put on one place. He’s always ready to go on an adventure and will drag companions along. You might not like him upon meeting him. You might find him inconsiderate, fake-ish, and a show up. This is the type of person you tend to ignore based on your own prejudges until he managed to turn the table on you. I don’t think you’re bad people pile 4, I see you will be projecting your longings on this person. You actually wish you were like him and are bit envious of his outgoing personality. Just remember you have good qualities too and this person's admiration for you is not an illusion, they would like you for who you are.

You might like wearing jewelry or have a special attachment to some type of clothing. This man too, so you might find him the most attractive when he’s wearing that jacket or you find yourself staring often at a necklace or piercing he always wears. He’s a “main character” in your opinion yet this person would want to please you and might even let himself be bossed around by you. He sees a queen bee in you, his queen bee, and will shove you in front a mirror so you can see the masterpiece you truly are.

This connection has the potential to be one unforgettable and like a romance of a fairy tale, but both will need to work hard for that. You would need to be more trusting, since I see you ignoring him for a long time or playing hard to get. This person is not a victim nor a saint either. His obliviousness can hurt people and they might beat around his feelings for you. He might fear the real shit, you know? You two got to find a way to be vulnerable with each other, otherwise you would be stuck in a friendship that would turn into a psychological torture and you would have no option but to split up.

You might dancing around each other before making a decisive move on your connection like a love confession or stuff, but you have it easier for sex if you both are into casual flings. Well, this person won’t deny you and you might even make his day if you propose to have a night of passion. You can expect he would want you to ride him at some point of your encounter. This person is versatile outside and inside of the bedroom, he can switch from dom to sub at the snap of your fingers. He could wear a gag and be tied up to the headboard while you’re having a feast on his hot body. He would want you to be vocal too, and I’m not talking about moaning loudly or swearing (he might like that, though). He would appreciate if you say you are feeling good, comfortable or not. He is very romantic in bed and he would expect reciprocity, like you opening up to him and trusting him. Sex with him would be passionate and healing.

I'm glad you've made it so far! I hope this reading was to your liking and I would love to read your thoughts if want to share them on the replies.

I can give you a "10 messages of your soul mate" reading for a reasonable price, so feel free to contact me for more info.

I do accept tips or donations through this link.

#pick a pile #pick a card #free tarot #tarot readings #intuitive readings #free readings #psychic readings #love readings #tarot community #Spotify

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asexual-society · 10 months

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Hi everyone! I'm a heteroromantic (sex repulsed) ace girl and my pronouns are she/her. I have recently discovered the fact that I am asexual, or at the very least on the ace spectrum, so I have dived into the aspec corner of the internet in hopes of finding other kind humans that I can relate to, so I want to thank you in advance for taking the time to read my questions <3

I also apologize if I used any of the terms in an incorrect way, it was not my intention to do so or to cause any harm. :D

Before I start, I am going to provide some backstory. I am in my late teens, and I've only had one boyfriend so far, that I refused to be intimate with because I didn't feel comfortable doing that, and he didn't believe that I was sex repulsed and that I genuinely felt uncomfortable with even attempting to be intimate, and thought I was lying to him and simply didn't like him enough, among other things.

Fast forward, we have broken up (thank god), however after focusing on myself and exploring my identity, after much thinking I have come to the realisation that I am asexual. However, also after a lot of thinking, I realised that I found conversations about sex made me feel extremely uncomfortable or even mad? The descriptions didn't make me feel uncomfortable, nor do I judge people who do partake in physical intimacy, it's more that the anger is kind of directed at myself? Almost like I'm mad at myself for not wanting sex, even though I should? It feels like I'm being mad at myself for not not wanting something I should be wanting just like all other people, if that makes sense. I also sometimes feel sadness and shame knowing that my identity as an asexual person and sex repulsion is not going to be accepted if I enter a relationship again, or at least not in the country that I live in, since people aren't quite aware of the existence of aspec people. Is that some sort of an internalized acephobia, or perhaps some form of bad effect of my former relationship? Or is it an universal ace experience?

Thank you once again for your help <3 :)

First of all, don't worry at all, you haven't said anything wrong! Second of all, this is sooo common for ace people to feel.

Being ace can be really isolating, and it's hard when you don't have anyone who understands how you feel, but you have to remember that wherever you are, you're not alone. Even if you don't know any out ace people, it doesn't mean they don't exist.

Sex repulsion can make conversations about sex and sexuality difficult or uncomfortable in a variety of ways, including feelings of anger, but I'm sorry you're feeling that directed towards yourself, I know that can be hard to deal with. Even I struggle with internalised acephobia at times because a lot of the queer community I interact with is allosexual, who I can't fully identify with, so I understand how tough it can be to feel like you don't want to or even that you shouldn't be ace. Having that robust community and support system, even if that just means following ace blogs or having online friends who are ace if you can't find any ace people irl right now, can really help you to feel happier and more comfortable and confident in your asexuality.

I'd also say, although it might not seem like it right now, there are plenty of people out there who don't need to have sex in a romantic relationship, and just because your past relationship didn't respect that, doesn't mean no one ever will. It might be a little harder to find those people, but I promise you there are so many ace people who find accepting partners, both in other ace people, and in allo people too.

Thank you for your ask, and I hope things go okay for you <3

~mod key

#asks #asexual #heteroromantic #internalized aphobia #mod key #anon

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grayintogreen · 2 years

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Ok top 10 critical role fics but specifically ranking them by how much acespec4aspec energy they have (and feel free to shoot anything back my way if you want)

[whispers] i don't know if i have any. i might be the WORST asexual when it comes to judging the level of aspec energy a fic has. It's either "these characters are super close but not sexually" or "BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM"

Sooo with that in mind, I will give you ten fics in no specific order that are focused on close intimacy between two characters with Zero Sexual Content or Implications (except for the last one but only because of a dragon trying to seduce Caduceus and the NOPE that occurs because of it. It's fun I promise.

come around when you break by maybetwice. This is a QPR poly fic if I've ever read one even if it's not necessarily labeled as such. It's angsty, but it's also about the Crownkeepers taking care of Opal after the last epc of EXU.

the first (and last) soul saved by one Caduceus Clay by InTheMidnightHour. Ever write a fic and then someone turns around and writes the same idea twenty times better and you are just so fucking grateful because that idea deserved many fics?? Yeah, this is the SINGLE BEST Keyleth and Caduceus become close friends fic ever. It is very sad though. (But hey bonus points since the two characters involved ARE both aspecs.)

Mongrel Mind by PlaidOnSad. A short piece but it involves Fearne giving wolf!Chetney some scritches and I am starved for fic of these two of any kind.

Flesh in the Fruit, Blood in the Wine by Beauteousmajesty. When I say INTENSE platonic bonds, this is what I'm looking at. A beautiful Fearne and Orym piece with great Fearne POV.

Moon in its Grasp by Myzic. A really nice Kingsley and Caduceus piece. This one might be stretching the "intimacy" definition a bit.

aequilibrium by orange_yarn. Another really good Crownkeepers piece highlighting their close intimate bond. Really good Dariax and Opal friendship vibes.

The Purest Priorities by wtgw. One of my definitively FAVORITE fics about Jester and Artagan's close bond.

Deep Dive by JungleJelly. WHAT'S SEXIER THAN WIZARDS?? WIZARDS WHO AREN'T FUCKING AND JUST BEING BESTIES IN AN ARCANE BALL OF HORRORS.

it takes two by wastrelwoods. Most of my platonic intimacy fics are Beau and Molly because I love them. This is probably my favorite.

here be dragons by starkraving. a FUN Caduceus&Beau fic about a dragon trying to court Cad and he's just "oh... No... that's okay."

#ask game #fic recs #my asks

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rg060295 · 7 months

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My Favourite Non-Fiction

Since it is Non-Fiction November, I thought I would list some of my favourite non-fiction I have read. I will admit I have not read a lot, all tend to be very sociology focused. Which makes sense as I am a social science graduate, so that is what I am still drawn towards learning and exploring in non-fiction. All the description I have listed below are from Storygraph/Goodreads, as I find it hard the official description is much better than my rambling could ever.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.

What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Amazon ||

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space by Amanda Leduc

In fairy tales, happy endings are the norm—as long as you're beautiful and walk on two legs. After all, the ogre never gets the princess. And since fairy tales are the foundational myths of our culture, how can a girl with a disability ever think she'll have a happy ending?

By examining the ways that fairy tales have shaped our expectations of disability, Disfigured will point the way toward a new world where disability is no longer a punishment or impediment but operates, instead, as a way of centering a protagonist and helping them to cement their own place in a story, and from there, the world. Through the book, Leduc ruminates on the connections we make between fairy tale archetypes—the beautiful princess, the glass slipper, the maiden with long hair lost in the tower—and tries to make sense of them through a twenty-first-century disablist lens. From examinations of disability in tales from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen through to modern interpretations ranging from Disney to Angela Carter, and the fight for disabled representation in today's media, Leduc connects the fight for disability justice to the growth of modern, magical stories, and argues for increased awareness and acceptance of that which is other—helping us to see and celebrate the magic inherent in different bodies.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Scribd || Amazon ||

Fifty Words for Snow by Nancy Campbell

From Japanese 'snow women' to Icelandic 'dog's paws,' writer and Arctic traveller Nancy Campbell digs deep into the meanings of fifty words for snow. Under her gaze, each of these linguistic snow crystals offers a whole world of myth and story.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Amazon ||

How to Read Now by Elaine Castillo

A collection of linked essays Elaine Castillo explores the politics and ethics of reading, and insists that we are capable of something better: a more engaged relationship not just with our fiction and our art, but with our buried and entangled histories. Castillo attacks the stale questions and less-than-critical proclamations that masquerade as vital discussion: reimagining the cartography of the classics, building a moral case against the settler colonialism of lauded writers like Joan Didion, taking aim at Nobel Prize winners and toppling indie filmmakers, and celebrating glorious moments in everything from popular TV like The Watchmen to the films of Wong Kar-wai and the work of contemporary poets like Tommy Pico.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Amazon ||

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

A heart-breaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Scribd || Amazon ||

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

In the Dream House is Carmen Maria Machado's engrossing and wildly innovative account of a relationship gone bad, and a bold dissection of the mechanisms and cultural representations of psychological abuse. Tracing the full arc of a harrowing relationship with a charismatic but volatile woman, Machado struggles to make sense of how what happened to her shaped the person she was becoming.

And it's that struggle that gives the book its original structure: each chapter is driven by its own narrative trope--the haunted house, erotica, the bildungsroman--through which Machado holds the events up to the light and examines them from different angles. She looks back at her religious adolescence, unpacks the stereotype of lesbian relationships as safe and utopian, and widens the view with essayistic explorations of the history and reality of abuse in queer relationships.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Scribd || Amazon ||

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

A memoir of reckoning and healing by acclaimed journalist Stephanie Foo, investigating the little-understood science behind complex PTSD and how it has shaped her life.

A deeply personal and thoroughly researched account, Foo interviews scientists and psychologists and tries a variety of innovative therapies. She recounts her own history, with parents who abandoned her when she was a teenager, after years of physical and verbal abuse and neglect. She returns to her hometown of San Jose, California, to investigate the effects of immigrant trauma on the community, and she uncovers family secrets in the country of her birth, Malaysia, to learn how trauma can be inherited through generations. Ultimately, she discovers that you don't move on from trauma--but you can learn to move with it.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Scribd || Amazon ||

#my post #robyn reads #my favs

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colorisbyshe · 2 years

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The ace community just has this very… western, heterosexist, cissexist, and white way of looking at sexuality. It all went downhill with the popularization of the SAM, an actual asexual is just what they call “aro/ace” and the SAM and the mogai crap should just stop existing so that an actually coherent asexual identity and community can flourish – signed, an actual fucking asexual tired of this shit.

Yeah. I hve made a many a post on how asexuality would be a useful label if it meant went aroace should mean (ie wholly disinterested in sex and romance) or even if it was a sort of modifier (ie asexual = disinterested in sex, so you could be an asexual heterosexual, an aromantic gay dude or whatever). Because then those are like... labels that actually are attached to behaviour (even hypothetical behaviour).

Like it tells you something that might matter. Someone who needs sex in a relationship might not want to date someone who never wants sex.

But current ace understandings of sexuality are based solely on individualism which is... exactly the things you say. Each ace gets to define what asexuality means FOR THEM and then ALSO decides that that should matter to everyone else.

"I experience less sexual attraction than everyone else, so I'm a-spec" is a means of separating yourself from society, focusing on making you a unique individual. Even though "amount of sexual attraction" is not a socially valuable concept, nor is there any coherent average of it to say you experience less than.

"I want to fuck people but I don't experience sexual attraction" is saying "I can personally redefine what sexually attraction is so I can pretend I am unique."

And I think, on many levels, it's notable that these terms all congregate around experiencing LESS sexual attraction, less sexual desire, less romantic inclinations. There are no complementary terms for experiencing more sexual attraction than others, more sexual desire, being attracted to more people than average (not in a polyamorous way but I mean "falling in love more often/easily.") There are no identities built around this.

And I think that is because a lot of the conception of the modern, current ace identity is built around western puritanical attitudes where people feel the need to distance themselves from sex. Which does fall in line with all the things you listed.

It's a greedy attitude. "I want to have my cake and eat it too" is now "I want to have my asexuality and fuck it too." You can have the sexual and romantic desire but you're better than everyone else because your reasons aren't primal attraction, they're the intellectual pursuit of intimacy or pleasing your partner. It's a choice, not a feeling.

And this all, intentionally or not, ends up shaming everyone else. Including those who are already viewed as too sexual or wrongfully sexual or dangerously sexual by society at large.

Because what other value do these labels have when they aren't attached to actual disinterest in sex or romance? What do they do besides implying everyone else is more sexual than them and also less picky about it? And imply judgment about it all by making it clear that they don’t want to be associated with any of that.

If you aren't straight up creating boundaries (I Will Not Date You, I Will Not Fuck You), what is the point? What is the meaning? The value?

It doesn't even help asexuals because now there is no meaningful way to organize against aphobia (whether that be oppression or just discrimination or "just" misogyny/ableism/misdirected homophobia/rape culture by another name). Like... if you aren't fighting against being pressured into sex you don't want--if you are implying some aces want sex, some don't, some feel sexual attraction, some don't... what stigma can you even say you share? What experiences are even remotely universal?

And it all comes back to the need to be a Notable Individual. There is no communal goal or interest. It is just a collection of people who do not want to share experiences or goals, they just want to share a word. And leverage that word to sit with the cool kids.

To be clear, this doesn’t apply to people using these terms to mean... actual identies. IE people who genuinely do not feel any sexual desire or those who use it to mean aroace.

But to everyone else...... yeah

#ace discourse #no more asks on this topic unless you pay me #y'all know wher ehte link is #you can reblog this tho

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there-are-45-chameleons · 2 years

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Hey, do you by any chance remember what research you saw that backed up the whole cis straight men don't relish in masculinity the way queer men do thing? 👀 I'm always a sucker for research on non-normative masculinity

Yes! So I was mostly thinking of research on how normative (allocishet + generally conforming) men do masculinity, rather than research on how queer men do, so unfortunately there's not a ton I have off the top of my head on non-normative masculinities specifically. But there's some.

Probably the most famous thing on normative masculinities is CJ Pascoe's book Dude, You're a Fag (2007). The best-known chapter, "Adolescent Male Homophobia," is also written in the form of the article Pascoe, C.J. 2005. "'Dude, You’re a Fag': Adolescent Masculinity and the Fag Discourse," Sexualities 8(3). doi:10.1177/1363460705053337.

Miriam J. Abelson's book Men in Place: Trans Masculinity, Race, and Sexuality in America (2019) is a very well-written account of how trans men in the US do masculinity. It's intersectional, focusing primarily on, in addition to gender, race and both geographic (South/Midwest/West coast) and local (urban/suburban/rural and the particular settings of bathrooms and medical establishments) place. Although Abelson's interviewees are all trans men,* she talks more about complicit masculinities — masculinities which generally uphold the patriarchy — than truly transgressive masculinities, focusing on "Goldilocks masculinity" which mediates between two extremes, one of hypermasculinity and the other of femininity or effeminacy.

* Abelson's subjects don't all refer to themselves as trans men, but she nonetheless uses this term to refer to them collectively. She has an endnote explaining her rationale.

Two articles I really like about intimacy and affection in male-male relationships among UK college students are: - Anderson, Eric and Mark McCormack. 2015. "Cuddling and Spooning: Heteromasculinity and Homosocial Tactility among Student-athletes," Men and Masculinities 18(2). doi:0.1177/1097184X14523433. - Robinson, Stefan, Adam White, and Eric Anderson. 2019. "Privileging the Bromance: A Critical Appraisal of Romantic and Bromantic Relationships," Men and Masculinities 22(5). doi:0.1177/1097184X17730386. Neither of these articles are about masculinities which are particularly non-normative (within their own cultural contexts), but they display masculinities which don't follow the norms of traditional hegemonic masculinities, and from my American perspective, they certainly look non-normative.

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality (2020) by Jane Ward is the last recommendation I can think of. I love this whole book, but particularly relevant to your question is the last chapter (chapter 5), in which Ward draws from 1970s-80s radical feminism* and lesbian understandings of sexuality to recommend to straight men ways to do heterosexuality that are less misogynistic than the currently available scripts.

* Second-wave radical feminism is not evil like tumblr wants you to believe. I am firmly in favor of accepting and helping trans people and of intersectionality, and radical feminism often has problems with these issues, but as long as you're careful, there's so much to learn from their theoretical ideas. For instance, tumblr-TERFs are generally aspec-exclusionists, but real radical feminism is the source of a lot of the most revolutionary ideas I use to understand my own aromanticism and asexuality. Did you know that "The Asexual Manifesto" is a radical feminist document, and Asexual Erotics (which I have heard multiple professional asexuality researchers refer to as their bible) is based largely on the work of Audre Lorde, a radical feminist?

#can you tell I'm excited to share this stuff!!#sorry I couldn't give you more on explicitly nonnormative masculinities #but if I think of more I'll add it!#anyone else should feel free to add on too!#anyway this is a pro-radical-feminism anti-terf blog #original

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uniquelyaro · 3 years

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Living a Lovely Loveless Life

I am a creature of contradictions.

I love swimming at the beach, but you couldn’t get me out in open water for love or money. If I can’t see land, if the ocean is so deep I can’t even imagine the bottom, I am terrified.

I admire the raw power of storms and adore the smell of rain, but I flinch when lightning flashes, because I’m petrified of the loud crack of thunder that always follows.

I love the cold, because it means I can wrap myself in the warmest clothes and take my showers boiling hot.

I am aromantic, and yet, I am in love.

I never expected to fall in love. I’ve never had anything against the concept, but I was fairly sure I wasn't capable of it. I'm still sure, actually. But, I'm also in love.

If that sounds confusing to you, don't worry, I'm confused too.

I’ve been confused for most of my life. I spent the first 21 years of my life confused about my feelings, and about why I never seemed to feel the way my friends did. I was confused why I never seemed to experience things the way the media and society told me I should. I stopped being as confused when I found the aromantic label and community. Finding a word to describe myself felt like coming home. For the first time I had people who understood me, who helped me understand myself.

Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for me to realise that in some ways I was still the odd one out. The aromantic community is simultaneously both very anti-romance and very pro-love. Contradictory and confusing as that as that sounds, it makes a certain kind of sense. We reject the expectations of romance that society forces on us, while simultaneously reminding people that love doesn’t have to mean romance. Aromantics aren’t heartless or cold. We can love just as intensely and deeply as anyone else.

Well, other aromantics can. Me? Kind of a different story.

I honestly believe that I have never felt an emotion I can comfortably point to and call love. Not romantic, not platonic, not even familial. It feels like such a terrible thing to say, that I don’t love even my family, but it’s true. I care for them, for people, and I often care deeply. But I'm not sure I love them. Most people seem to think that’s sad. Even other aromantics have told me how sorry they are for me, how difficult life must be without love, but I don’t know any different.

Instead, the difficult thing for me is seeing how much the aromantic community likes to focus on love. They reject romance, sure, but instead other forms of love, such as platonic and familial are placed on a (very high) pedestal. Queerplatonic relationships are a big thing in the aromantic community, and it's treated as the pinacle of aromantic relationships, the thing to strive for. It’s very common to see an aromantic say things like “love doesn’t mean romantic love/romance”, “aromantics still love their friends and family”, or even “saying aromantics can’t feel love is a harmful stereotype.”

These statements aren’t wrong. On their own, they are very important things to point out because the ‘heartless cold aromantic’ trope is a harmful stereotype, and should be combatted. However, all too often it comes at the expense of aromantics like myself, the aplatonics and ‘loveless’ aros. It feels much too similar to the old “asexuals can still feel romance” for me. As a stand alone statement, it’s not wrong. For some people it’s even an important argument to make. However, it’s usually coupled with the harmful implication of “see, we can feel X thing just like normal people do. There’s nothing wrong with us”. It just moves the goalposts of acceptable differences, at the cost of people like me. It's a different bus, but I’m still being thrown underneath it.

That isn’t the only way I feel like an outsider in my community however. While aromantics can be very focused on the idea of platonic, queerplatonic or familial love, they tend to push romance to the side. Even when they don’t outright hate it, romance isn’t usually seen in a positive light within the aromantic community. It’s understandable, because amatonormativity and the pedestal it places romance on is a problem. Society’s expectations and views of romance as the be all and end all of existence is damaging, and the main reason I thought I was broken for so long. But you can reject toxic romantic ideals without rejecting romance altogether, something it doesn’t alway seem like the aromantic community understands.

I don’t feel romance, but I don’t hate it. It’s the opposite actually, because I like romance. I enjoy dating people, as long as they are aware of and respect my identity. I like romantically coded actions, and I seek out emotional intimacy. I’m completely comfortable with people feeling romantically about me. Strangely, I had more romantic partners after coming out as aromantic than I did before, most lasting for at least a year or more. I was even engaged to be married last year, and I'm hoping to be engaged again in the near future.

In fact, my planned future follows some fairly traditional romantic goals. My partner and I plan on getting married, having some kids, and settling down to live our lives together, although not necessarily in that order. It’s the kind of life I thought I wouldn’t be able to have after I realised I was aromantic. I convinced myself it wasn’t what I wanted, both because I thought it wouldn’t be possible for me and because the aromantic community tends to be very focused on the rejection of traditional romantic scripts. I thought that because I was aromantic I should be smashing through amatonormative expectations, a shining beacon of why traditional romance was overrated and wrong, why it's expected goals are harmful.

My partner changed everything for me.

We met through our online Dungeons and Dragons game. A friend of mine invited me after I complained that I hadn’t played in years (also about my very poor social life). Turns out, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

At the time most people in my life (myself included) thought it was a risky one, for a multitude of reasons. I had previously had bad experiences with long distance relationships and he lived halfway across the country. I was already engaged and although I was polyamourous he had no experience with those kinds of relationships. His name started with J, and I already had (at least) 7 evil exes all starting with the same letter, two of which even shared his name. I was skirting close to 30, he was barely 21, and my previous (traumatic) long distance relationship had also been with a much younger partner. Each of those reasons alone should have been enough to give me pause. Combined, it very much felt like the odds were stacked against us.

Yet, we’re still together over a year later. Our relationship survived him moving here just three months into it, the first time we met in person. It survived the fact that he arrived just before the state borders closed and lockdown started properly, so we spent a lot of time unable to leave the house, stuck in each other’s company. It survived the breakdown (and breakup) of my engagement to my fiance, and the rocky transition as we learned to live as exes and housemates rather than partners. It survived the late nights, larger workload and infinitely more stress when I got promoted to a higher position at work. It survived, and more than that, it grew. It grew into something different than anything I have ever felt before, because in the middle of it all, I fell in love with him.

It wasn’t a sudden thing. There wasn’t one particular moment when it hit me, because I couldn’t even make sense of what I felt at first. I just knew I felt very strongly, and that it was a different feeling then I had ever had before.

Oftentimes when I ask alloromantic people what love feels like, the answer I get the most is “you just know”. Not the most helpful answer, but I don’t really blame them for it. Love is difficult to describe in a singular way. The truth is I could ask five people to describe love and get twelve different answers. Everyone has a different view on love, and it changes with each person you love. How you love them, why you love them, it changes from day to day. How could you ever properly describe the shifting nature of something that never stands still? Something that grows and changes with each action, each word and look and touch.

I don’t feel love, but I think I understand it. I sit on a very unique intersection of aromanticism and love, an experience not often seen and very seldom shared. I don’t feel love, but I’m also not romance repulsed. I don’t hate romance, or reject it. I participate in it, seek it out, even crave it. Now, I get to experience it.

Does my love feel the same as the love an alloromantic person would feel? I don’t know, and quite honestly, I don’t care. Love isn’t something that can be compared between people, because no one else can feel love the way I do, just as I can’t feel love the way someone else does. My love is as unique as I am, as unique as the person I love is. The love I feel right now will never be replicated, whether I never love again or I love a hundred thousand times.

What I do know is falling in love let me make peace with myself, and all my contradictions. I don’t have to feel love to surround myself with it, to give and receive care and affection and intimacy. I can hate amatonormativity and fight against it while also wanting traditional romantic goals for myself, because this time I chose them. I can feel at home in a community while simultaneously being an outsider, because sharing a label doesn’t mean we share all the same views, opinions and experiences. I learned about myself because of what we shared, but I also learned because of what we didn’t.

I am aromantic and I don’t feel love. I am aromantic and I am in love. Both statements are true at the same time, because humans are messy and confusing and full of contradictions. I embrace mine as part of who I am, what makes me, well, me. And there’s no one I’d rather be, than me.

#aromantic #aro #loveless aromantic #personal thoughts #long post #some thoughts I've wanted to put into words for a long time #even in loveless aro spaces I don't always see this view #someone who is loveless but also participates in romance

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joeys-piano · 3 years

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Top 5 Fics of 2020

As 2020 closes and as I’m looking back on what I’ve done this year, there were five stories that stood out to me because of how I felt, what I’ve experienced, and because of what came over me as I was working on the pieces. I picked stories that many of you enjoyed, stories that I think you could discover, and stories that challenge you to think a little differently on what you already know. I felt that was a good balance for what I had in store~

Savor The Moment | 12.4k | Teen

I can say without a doubt that is the best fanfic I’ve written this year: not only is it the longest by far, not only did I draft and revise and edit and rewrite this behemoth during the entire month of August and pretty much babied this thing into the first week of my Fall Semester, not only was I focusing and fleshing out the relationships one of my favorite BSD characters, but I remember how much I struggled with this work and how much I grew after finishing it. If y’all have to know one thing about me, it’s that dialogue and writing children characters are very difficult for me. So to tackle a project that encompasses both and much more -- that’s terrific!

I love how I wrote for Oda in this and how I explored his relationship with the children, with the curry shop owner, and with Dazai. I love how I approached his backstory and bled in some of the elements I enjoyed from the Dark Era light novel into this work. I love the atmosphere, the vibes, the metaphors and all the food descriptions -- there are gorgeous quotes throughout the work and to this day, I still can’t believe that they all came from my head. This was such a good story for me: both in that it helped me grow as a writer and challenged me in my weaker areas and that it was fun to try something new and to expand on the little details I adored from the source material.

If there’s any work of mine that I think best summarizes who I am as a writer, it would have to be this one.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings & Funerals | 5.7k | Teen

There was a time in my life when angst was my bread and butter. However, as I grew older and more cynical towards life in general, I saw myself leaning towards softer and happier ideas. Mostly because they were an escape and a distraction from what was happening to me at the time, and partially because angst isn’t all that great for my heart. But during the beginning of November, something possessed me. I didn’t set out to write a character death or a heavy story; but instead, it just came out of me. And with BEAST as my backdrop and with funerals in my head, it took me about a week to finish this story from draft to end.

In terms of technicalities and skills, this work best represents much of my experience as a writer. You can see it through my syntax and flow, through the concepts and metaphors I was weaving through the plot, through how I handled the head hopping and transitions between Oda and Dazai’s POVs (making sure that they were as smooth as silk for y’all’s reading experience), through how I handled the emotional stakes and the soulmate-ish vibes going on, and through how I described the grief and mourning for what could’ve been and for what came to be.

I’m not that surprised that the response for this fic has been on the lower side compared to my other works, especially since it revolves around character death and heavy themes. But if you really enjoy BEAST and would like an in-depth scene expansion between Oda and Dazai when they met for the last at Bar Lupin, I would definitely recommend this to you.

Tender is the Light | 1.5k | General

Christmas is a polarizing holiday, depending on who you ask, because we’re celebrating the humble birth of a man and are partnering it with consumerism. So already, this day is pretty sus and I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend it this year than to write and gift myself a very cuddly, drarry fanfic. As I mentioned in the author’s notes, I don’t normally write for myself and I especially don’t gift myself a fanfic for holiday purposes. But considering how this year went and how stressed I was and the epiphany I had during this month, the old constraints I had for myself didn’t matter and I just wanted to create something that I knew I would enjoy. That probably sounds selfish and a part of me thinks it is; but honestly, it isn’t because if I wanted to work and create something, it’s got to give me joy too -- I feel.

So you could almost say I was working out some internal things while writing this and was just having fun and didn’t care that there wasn’t really a plot to this entire thing. Since it was a fic for me, I just focused on what made me feel good and happy. And as it turns out, fluffy banters of humor and cuddly introspective smacked a nerve in my heart and I felt renewed every time I came to work on this. This was such a cathartic fic for me to work, and I just had the time of my life focusing on the small things that are like nuggets of gold for me.

Hold Me A Little Closer | 2.6k | Mature

2020 was a year of many things, much of which I won’t mention and much of which we’re still living through. It was also the year I wrote my first, full-fledged smut. Or more accurately, my first genuine attempt at writing smut through my perspective as a biromantic asexual. Since 2018, I’ve been experimenting with how I wanted to portray physical intimacy and every time I scrolled through the Internet or read how others have done it, what I found was that there weren’t many resources or approaches that I felt comfortable with or with writing. Most of what you find out there is pretty much you figure it out on your own, or just looking at what others have done and copying it. Which that in itself comes with its own difficulties, depending on the approach you want to take with your own smut.

So being a discovery writer with my headlights down the path, I decided to write my first smut with an introspective approach + a tad of ace perspective because that’s who I am. I love the concept of emotional intimacy and that was the forefront for this story, accompanying the physical details. Because I knew for myself that odazai was more than just the physical aspect of it, and that both characters enjoy each other in an emotional or thoughtful setting where they can be vulnerable and be themselves and all the juicy bits about that whenever they’re together. And that might be the ace in me talking, but that’s the kind of intimacy I love between characters and the physical aspect is just one medium out of many in how they can convey that.

Personally, I would say this is the story that got me more comfortable writing for odazai. I’ve written for them beforehand in a few other fics, but this is definitely the one where I grew to know and care for them more and it comes through with the writing.

If My Eyes Were to Linger | 1.5k | General

With me talking about the top best fics that I’ve written this year, there’s no way I could conclude this without talking about the first fic I wrote for a new fandom. This story is my first foray into drarry and it comes after weeks of reading all sorts of content from them writers and I wanted to try it too. This harkens back to nine years ago when I wrote my first fanfic: I saw that others were writing stories and I wanted to do it, too. That brief childhood spark was the catalyst I needed when I considered and began jotting out this piece. You can tell through my writing that I’m figuring things out and figuring how I want to approach the individual voices of Draco and Harry.

I should also add that I was nervous as shit while writing this because I was embarking into a fandom where I knew no one in the community and I knew that no one I knew would even follow or read what I was writing. It’s been a long time since I’ve splashed into waters like that and through the help of my friends and talking with them, they helped me carry through and finish writing this piece. That meant a lot to me because for the first time in a long time, I was finally writing for me. I was finally writing a story where I didn’t care so much about how the engagement would be because I already knew there wouldn’t be much because of the circumstances I was in. So without hits or kudoses or really any expectations, I just wrote what I wanted to write and I had a damn good time with reading as I went.

And with the past few drarry fics I’ve written this month, you can feel that the adrenaline and childlike glee that came back to me is still with me. I don’t know how long this energy will last or if it’ll go away and I’ll transition into something else. But what I do know is that there are certain freedoms that come with going into the unknown and rediscovering myself again. And to know that this is for me: more than anything, that means so much.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #oda sakunosuke #dazai osamu #odazai #draco malfoy #harry potter #drarry #fanfic writing #fanfic writer

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spellshite · 3 years

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do you have any aspec headcanons for some borderlands characters? :)

Oh! Aspec borderlands headcanons... as dude in the aspec, I should have some, but probably I never put too much thought into that tbh.

I don't remember if it's canon or a very common headcanon, but I'm one of those that like the idea of Maya being asexual or demisexual. She gives off the vibe of someone that doesn't care about that part of a relationship and is fine with other types of intimacy with her partner.

FL4K gives me off the vibe of an aromantic or maybe more in the gray area. Not because they are a robot or whatever, but more because maybe they don't really understand the uh- workings of the heart? Honestly, I am an aromantic and I have no idea how to explain what I'm trying to say...but maybe because in my case it's a different flavour of aro? Not sure. But surely me and FL4K understand better animals than people.

anyway, continuing...

Zer0...dunno, they are in a big gray area like their whole cyber-ninja suit. Brain doesn't have enough data to compute an headcanon but felt worth mentioning.

Ava is another character that I feel like could be in the ace/demi area. But maybe it could be that she's young and still could have no interest and whatsoever.

Tyreen could be aromantic with a "i-have-to-be-ace-cuz-i-leech-life-out-of-people" twist. Dunno, she doesn't look like a gal that could be interested in anything romantic. But also she and her brother where written shittily so who knows? Going off vibes, tbh.

While I feel like her brother Troy would be the "i-don't-want-to-catch-feelings" kind of dude, so not really aro but tries hard.

I was going to add Aurelia to the list, but since BL3 Aurelia is a knock-off to me, I think that maybe she's just like that. An Ice Queen but that deep down cares so I'm not sure about putting her in the aspec list. Maybe she could be in the gray/demi area for the aro, like she needs to know you well to care about you and have any resemblance of feelings. Or something like that.

Talking about TPS dudes, the big boi Wilhelm feels like too much focused on cyber implants, fights, killing and money to care about anything else. I'd slap him an aro+ace sticker on his shiny new cybernetic and send him home. Dude likes steak, robots, likes killing people and wanted to become a robot, so let's let him have those.

Aaaaaand that's what I was able to think right now. If other aspec headcanons will pop in my head, I'll edit this! Thank you for the ask! :D

#zubatanswers #borderlands headcanons

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wiseabsol · 3 years

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D. Drama - Do you enjoy writing drama? What's your favorite? F. Fanfiction - What got you into fanfiction? N. Nature - Do you like writing about the outdoors? A certain type of weather or season? S. Symbolism - Are there any recurring themes in your fics? Any symbolism? V. Villian - Do you have a favorite villain? In which of your fics did you enjoy writing them the most? Z. Zing - Do you write love at first sight? That immediate ziinnggg of attraction?

D. Drama - Do you enjoy writing drama? What's your favorite?

I do, though the drama is more interpersonal in nature. I don't really enjoy the big drama plots over thrones or war or whatever--but intimate character drama that intersects with that can be fun. One fic I might write someday follows the bastard aunt of Azula and Zuko, who at a certain point in the story needs to decide between the emotional and physical wellbeing of Azula, and Azula's status as the crown princess of the Fire Nation. If things stay as they are, Azula will rule as Fire Lord one day...but by the time that happens, she will also have been wrecked by Ozai's "training." So I tend to prefer focusing on the personal over the political, though one can never really be separated from the other.

F. Fanfiction - What got you into fanfiction?

I think at the beginning I just wanted to put someone in Mewtwo's life that would make him less lonely, and me, being a romantic, often made those relationships romantic in nature. It was also just fun to tell stories to other people and get positive feedback for it.

N. Nature - Do you like writing about the outdoors? A certain type of weather or season?

Hmmm, not exactly? I like certain kinds of landscapes more than others. A sandy beach, a snowy city block, a forest in autumn--they're very evocative of certain emotions for me. But maybe it's a symptom of getting older, but the comfort of a warm home full of people you love has been rather more appealing to me lately. (She says as she plans a fantasy series in which a group of people are going around in an airship solving other people's problems and shying away from their own.)

S. Symbolism - Are there any recurring themes in your fics? Any symbolism?

Abuse, trauma, healing from both, found family dynamics, asexuality in its various forms--those all come up a lot for me. Symbolism not as much, though I am a sucker for the language of flowers.

V. Villain - Do you have a favorite villain? In which of your fics did you enjoy writing them the most?

Technically, Mewtwo and Azula both count as villains, but they're both complicated people. I think I probably had the most fun with Mewtwo in Angelic Shadows, because while I didn't intend for him to be one at the time, he's an asshole in that story, and the back chapters of AS will (someday, I hope) be about him growing as a person. Azula I haven't played with as much, though I do like her yanking Zuko's chain in Sunlight.

Z. Zing - Do you write love at first sight? That immediate ziinnggg of attraction?

Attraction at first sight is fun. Love at first sight, not so much. I think love is something that needs time to grow between people, so while you can be drawn to someone on sight, that emotional intimacy takes longer to establish.

#Ask response

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angelofthequeers · 3 years

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hi, i was making an aroace sapphic character and wondered if you could give me any tips? :)

I can sure try! If anyone is uncomfortable with semi-explicit talk about sex (in terms of smutty writing and vague personal anecdotes) then feel free to skip over the asexuality part. I’m mostly going to talk about my own experiences as an aroace sapphic to try and offer more depth than just generic character advice. And this is my experience; not every aroace is the same. I’ll also refer to your character with she/her pronouns but they might not be the ones that she uses, so I apologise in advance if that’s the case.

So this is assuming that she’s fully aroace instead of, like, somewhere else on the aro and ace spectra (such as demisexual or greyromantic). I direct you to look up oriented, angled, and electio aroace to get a better idea of ways in which this entire package of aro, ace, and sapphic might come together - you don’t have to use or adhere to these labels but they do provide handy information in case you want a better understanding for your character. Basically:

Asexual

I don’t experience sexual attraction (or if I do and I’m demi like I first thought, I sure as hell haven’t noticed it yet). I never look at someone and think “hmm, they’re so physically hot and I want to smash them specifically”. A lot of my smutty writing was heavily influenced by other people’s smut at the start because, like...I didn’t know what was supposed to be hot. I didn’t inherently know what to describe when writing sex scenes. I had to rely a lot on other people and put together what they found “hot” in terms of physical descriptions of bodies because I don’t feel that kind of draw to people. Back when I was into Supernatural, everyone always went nuts over Misha Collins’ hipbones and I was like...yeah, they’re nice aesthetically because they stick out and they’d probably be sharp and cool to touch, and I incorporated that into my writing by often focusing on Castiel’s hipbones from Dean’s perspective. But I truly didn’t understand why they were considered so attractive. I wasn’t physically drawn to any part of Misha or Castiel (apart from things like his hair and eyes, and even then it wasn’t a sexual draw) and I had to absorb what parts allosexual writers found hot and then translate that into my own writing. I claimed to have a crush on Brendon Urie when I was 16 purely so I wouldn’t look like a “freak” to the other girls in my year, and I made that claim based on my aesthetic draw to his looks and assuming that that was what sexual attraction had to be.

(Look up aesthetic attraction. It’ll blow your mind once you realise that you can be drawn to people without it being sexual in any way. This is a very good definition of it).

And it’s important to separate libido (sex drive) and attraction (the draw to specific people) because a lot of aces can have an average to high libido and even sleep with people but just...not feel sexually drawn to anyone. So in the case of your character, you have to decide whether she’s going to have no libido and/or is squicked by the concept of sex, or if she’s got a higher libido and is drawn to the concept of sex, or anything in between. Me personally? My libido and my draw to the concept of sex fluctuates - sometimes it’s as high as what you’d expect from a typical allosexual, sometimes even the vague idea makes me cringe and my engine is flat - but I’m never attracted to anyone specifically. That lack of attraction is what makes me ace, because you can also get allosexual people (non-asexuals) whose libido and relationship with sex is like this.

There’s that misconception that ace people are pure virgins who cringe at the very idea of being touched and sure, some ace people are sex-repulsed and touch-averse, but a lot of us aren’t. Some of us might enjoy sex as a bonding activity in the same way that you’d enjoy yoga or another form of exercise; it’s nice and feels good, but it’s not exactly our highest priority and we could go without it for a good while if we wanted. Some of us actively enjoy sex and initiate it often. Some of us are okay with one-night stands because we’re not attracted to anyone specifically and just want the sex. Some of us don’t want to do it with someone else but enjoy some self-love every now and then, whether as stress relief or because that’s just the kind of sex we enjoy. Some of us are okay with touching someone sexually but don’t want that touch reciprocated.

Even if you’re not planning on putting your character into a sexual situation, it’s handy to figure out her relationship to sex and touch because that can give her another dimension, such as where does she draw the line with touching? At what point does she see it as going from non-sexual to sexual? What kind of touch does she crave? Does she not want any touch at all, either because she hates it or because she’s afraid that it’ll inevitably stray into sexual touching? I crave touch because I’m a very tactile person, but when I’m touching someone who’s not a family member, I’m always uncomfortably aware of how one tiny shift in position or one slide of a hand can make things stray out of my comfort zone and send the wrong message. And I hate it when people unexpectedly draw me into contact, such as someone suddenly hugging me. That could also be a dimension of my autism, but I do feel that my asexuality plays a part because touch from a family member of mine is always different to that of anyone else.

Aromantic

And then we come to romantic attraction. I...don’t know what that is. I mean, I do know what it is in theory, but where’s the line between platonic attraction and romantic? Some of us aros might enjoy romantic-coded things like kissing, yet not feel that romantic draw to a specific person. And what makes these things romantic in the first place? Dates are just a hang-out between people where you get to know them better. Kissing can be a sexual thing, and many one-night stands or friends with benefits kiss without it being romantic. Family members cuddle. Friends compliment each other’s appearances. All of these things can potentially be reshaped to remove the romantic element, and that’s what makes it so confusing for me personally to figure out wtf romantic attraction is.

Just like with asexuality, we can range from romance-repulsed to craving a relationship that’s romantic in nature. Some of us are okay with being in a romantic relationship with a friend who’s attracted to us in that way because we want increased intimacy and don’t mind it taking on a romantic tone. Some of us freak out when a friend confesses to us. Some of us don’t really want or don’t care for a romantic relationship but want to not look like an outsider to alloromantics. Some of us do it for the tax benefits.

(But in all seriousness, the world is currently heavily skewed in favour of romance. Some places only accept your next-of-kin if they’re legally family i.e. your spouse, and just being their good friend won’t cut it. Capitalism makes it so that we basically have to live with others to survive in certain places because living alone is inaccessible. Marriage comes with certain benefits that other relationships don’t. Queerplatonic relationships can be just as deep as romantic ones and incorporate everything that romantic ones do yet in a deromanticised way, yet they’re not seen as valid. Look up alterous attraction to see how love and attraction can be so deep and yet something that doesn’t slot neatly into romantic or platonic. Once you start seeing all this, you just can’t stop).

I had a month-long online relationship with a girl back in 2017 and I thought I was feeling romantic attraction. I was giddy to talk to her, I had 7-hour phone calls when I normally had anxiety around phone calls, I felt good and happy when she sent me selfies...but there was something about the relationship that I couldn’t put my finger on. I thought at the time that it was just because it being online meant that I didn’t have the physical intimacy (like cuddling) and that affected it, but now I realise that I’m aro and I was trying to force myself into this idea of an ideal relationship because I didn’t know that you could be close and not be romantic partners. I still talk to her and we’re still close, but there’s so much less pressure and panic now that I’m not trying to force myself to be attracted to her in a way that I think I should be. But I’m still drawn to her in a way that I’m not drawn to men and in a way that’s not just platonic, which is why I call myself sapphic aroace. And even if I figure out whether I am drawn to men as well, it still feels...different. More on that later on in this ask. But it’s basically why I just call myself queer and why I’ve given up on trying to find the Perfect Microlabel for myself, because I never will.

So regarding your character, the first thing to do is figure out where exactly she sits on the aromantic spectrum. Is she fully aro? Does she feel romantic attraction once in a blue moon, and who does she feel it towards? How close would she have to be to someone to feel that attraction? Does she constantly question what romantic attraction is, or does she not even care what it is? Does she want a romantic relationship, or does she crave close friendship? Does she not understand where that boundary between close friendship and romance is? How would she react if a friend confessed romantic feelings to her? Is she okay with doing things like cuddling, or does she fear that it’ll be misread as romantic? How does she react when people tell her to stop flirting or otherwise imply that she is? Can she tell when others are flirting with her? What even is love at first sight? Why is romantic love so much more important than platonic or familial or any other form? Why are people so obsessed with finding The One™? Why can stories only be relatable/attractive/amazing/etc. if there’s a romantic relationship in them? Why are the ‘greatest love stories of all time’ romantic? Why can’t those greatest love stories be between friends? What do you do when you’ve got a wlw or mlm relationship and you want to offer this representation but don’t want to feel pressured to make them romantic just because of that? Why even is love itself seen as such an important thing, like we’re inhuman robots if we don’t love someone in any way? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Like I said, once you start questioning this stuff, you can’t stop. That was basically my raw thought process while I was writing that paragraph, and that last one about the wlw/mlm relationships is my current struggle with my original characters).

Sapphic

So, tying in a sapphic draw with being aroace, I once again urge you to look up oriented aroaces, along with angled and electio. I recommend starting here and here. Basically, what we feel isn’t romantic or sexual, and it might not be just platonic, but it’s something. It’s something important enough that we feel like it’s a key part of our identity because it shapes how we interact with people and it might make us feel separate enough from aroaces or aspec people that we start to question ourselves and where we belong. Going back to an aro who might crave or be okay with a romantic relationship or an ace who might be into sex, they might be an oriented aroace who wants this partnership with someone they love or wants sexual experiences with only those who would fall under her sapphic attraction umbrella. In the case of your character, how does her sapphicness interact with her aroaceness? How does her attraction to women or woman-aligned people differ from her attraction to those who aren’t included in the sapphic umbrella? (Look up non-binary sapphics, for example). Does she feel like she has to call herself sapphic/a romantic-oriented term and leave herself open to potential relationships because she doesn’t want to be alone, or does she genuinely feel that attraction? Once you add in the aroace dimensions, it changes the gay/bi/pan/etc. dimension to something that can’t just be defined as “attracted to this gender” and it’s something you have to think about to know how your character would interact with different people in different circumstances.

Good luck with your character! Don’t hesitate to ask if you need any more help 😊

#ask #aotq answers #aromantic #asexual #sapphic #aroace #oriented aroace #sexuality #cw sex mention #just to be on the safe side #aroace character #writing help #character help

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peachdoxie · 4 years

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It’s always an experience to look back at myself as an adolescent and realize how much of my behavior was influenced by the fact that I am asexual and aromantic but didn’t yet know that.

In elementary school, I mostly wore t-shirts and pants of some sort. They were vaguely feminine, but not very much. To be honest, I don’t think I paid that much attention to what I wore in elementary school, though I was obviously influenced by external factors. But in the fifth grade (age 10-11) is I think when I started to actively reject femininity. It definitely happened once I started middle school (11-14). I opted more for a gender neutral look rather than a masculine look, though I didn’t think of it that way - just “not girly”. This trend followed me into high school (14-18), though around age 15 or so I got over my “not like other girls” mentality, which was never super strong but definitely present.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to dress more femininely. There were times when I wished I could wear a blouse instead of a t-shirt and get a hair cut or something. I didn’t want to be super feminine and wear makeup or jewelry or whatnot, but the t-shirt look is hard to pull off and still be seen as mature and have people take me seriously as I grew older. I actually enjoyed the chances to look rather feminine when the circumstances allowed it – namely, dances at high school (until I stopped going to them entirely) and prom.

The problem was that I didn’t like the attention I got whenever I made a change. If I wore a nicer shirt one day, people would comment on it. If I got a hair cut, people would comment on it. If I did anything out of the ordinary, people would comment on it. And save for social situations that were intended for fancier clothing, such as school dances, I did not like the attention. At all. It was mostly from teachers and other female friends who were genuinely nice about it, not even unwanted attention from boys or men. It didn’t help that I went to a small K-12 school, meaning I was with the same 100-odd classmates every year and regularly encountered my old teachers. There were no good transition moments to make any changes besides summer, and even then I didn’t.

I used to wear my hair in a ponytail all the time – initially just to keep it out of my face, but then because I did that constantly, any time I would wear it down on a normal day, someone would comment on it. It got to the point where I would keep it in the ponytail all the time. It was somewhere past my shoulder most of the time. One day when I was 15, during my regularly scheduled hair cut, I decided to cut off enough inches to donate the hair and my stylist straightened my hair for it. It was cut to a bit above my shoulders. I wore it down the next day at school and got a lot of compliments about it. It made me so uncomfortable that I put it back in a ponytail the next day.

(I eventually got so sick of the ponytail and the way it made me look too gender neutral that I forced myself to get it cut short enough that I couldn’t put it in a ponytail and I just dealt with the discomfort until my shorter hair was normalized.)

It did vex me, back then, why I didn’t like any attention that focused on how pretty I looked whenever I made some change to my physical appearance. I didn’t think that it was because I didn’t think I wasn’t pretty and that’s why I didn’t like the attention – I was fairly aware of how body image problems in teenagers worked, and to my recollection, that never played a big role in my dislike of attention. I knew I had good skin and pretty eyes and did think my face was pleasing when I looked in the mirror. And rejecting femininity a bit helped me find solace in not conforming to beauty standards. I also must give credit to my mother, who was nothing but supportive and never pressured me to perform femininity, and neither really did any of the other adult figures that had a significant influence on me, which certainly helped.

As an adult who has studied queer theory and feminist theory, and who has reflected on my experience as a young acearo woman, I’ve come to realize how much my sexual and romantic orientations impacted me in this regard. It resolves the paradox of wanting to be more feminine-presenting to look more mature while simultaneously dreading any attention I’d get for making a change towards femininity.

To a younger me, any attention to my appearance when I presented even a tiny bit femininely meant that it increased the chances that a boy might ask me out. Not hit on me, but ask me out. It was one of the interpersonal things I dreaded the most during high school. I did not want a boy to ask me out because I knew I would say no because I wasn’t interested in dating. I was desperately afraid of making things awkward between me and whoever it was, because the boys that were most likely to ask me out (in my mind) were the boys I was close friends with. In my mind, knowing that a friend of mine in high school had a crush on me was a terrifying prospect – knowing that I had rejected them while they were still “in love” with me. The influence of media was definitely there, as I’d seen way too many Disney Channel TV shows and movies where the guy was rejected by the girl and it made things awkward. I didn’t want to lose any of my friends that way. (I won’t go into details, but my reluctance to date anyone did end up backfiring on me and I did lose a friend, though that was largely due to my own awkwardness on not understanding why I was so reluctant to date anyone.)

The romance part would have been okay-ish, but at that point I didn’t yet have a split-attraction model to go on and so, to me, any act of dating would necessarily involve holding hands, cuddling, and kissing, and possibly sexual activity, all of which I knew as early as age 11 that I did not want. And because I was repulsed by the idea of physical and sexual intimacy, dating was out of the question. I knew it was okay to not want to date anyone and to not want to have sex with anyone, during high school or ever, because my mother had raised me to think those are valid options (thanks Mom), but at the time, I didn’t have a concept of what being sex-repulsed was.

I think that made it difficult and uncomfortable for me to process the idea that someone could be sexually attracted to me. I wasn’t so ignorant to believe that other people were also repulsed by sex and I knew other people enjoyed sex, especially teenagers. But the mere idea that someone could view me in a way related to sex – even if they didn’t want to act on it – was so unsettling to me that I couldn’t stand it. I don’t think it was about being seen as a sexual object by boys, since those were easy to turn down (and I did have a few male classmates ask me out), but rather seen as being sexually attractive to boys I already had a good friendship with.

Also, while I was aware of homosexuality from a young age and had no problems with it, there were no girls out as wlw while all of this was going on, so it didn’t occur to me to be wary of their attraction. I knew as well that I wasn’t interested in girls, so – because my framework was “straight or gay” without a concept of asexuality – by default I must be interested in boys, and them with me. There’s also the gendered stereotypes of girls sharing everything with their girl friends, but not sharing emotional intimacy with boys. But most of my good friends were boys, and so if I were to be emotionally intimate with any of them, I’d have to date them.

Of course, I lacked the knowledge and self-awareness to figure all of this out until much later, and it took longer to come to terms with the relationship I had between femininity, others’ sexual attraction, and my own self-image (though none of that is static, nor should it be). I also lacked the awareness that the boys I was friends with who might be interested in asking me out might also not be interested in a physical and sexual relationship. I didn’t have the concept that an emotionally intimate relationship in high school could be anything but physical or sexual. I think a lot of it came down to the fact that I didn’t know how to process any potential awkwardness, but I wasn’t fully aware of my inability to process it, so I just avoided it as much as I possibly could. Looking back, there were definitely some contradictions in how I thought and behaved, but hey, I was a young and socially awkward teenager navigating an uncharted territory that I didn’t know was uncharted.

Besides being fairly vocal to my friends about the fact I wasn’t interested in dating (which I explained away by saying “I don’t want to be distracted by dating during high school”, such a typical excuse of non-straight folk) the best weapon I had against people finding me attractive was to downplay my appearance. And so I desexualized my appearance – or, rather, maintained the neutral appearance I’d had from elementary school and made it even less attractive to boys (at least, in the opinion of my adolescent self.) Any act of femininity that was noticed by a teacher or female classmate was something that could be noticed by a boy in my high school, which meant that they may be inspired to ask me out, which meant sexual attraction, which was repulsive and uncomfortable to me.

I hold no ill will towards myself for not understanding this when I was a teenager, and I don’t blame any of the authority figures or educators in my life for not helping me understand this. It’s likely they didn’t understand any of this themselves, and it’s not like I was fully aware of why I felt certain ways and did certain things either, nor was I very open about all of this either because I can be a rather private person at times. It’s also not like asexuality, aromanticism, and sex-repulsion are well-known things, let alone discussed frequently in books about childrearing and queer adolescents. It’s just another sign of how the hyper focus on heterosexual monogamy (also known as amatonormativity) in Western culture and society actively hurts queer people, especially when they’re young and aren’t aware that they’re not straight, or are but are struggling to come to terms with that (it also applies to non-cis folk, but that’s not relevant to my experience.)

Ultimately, I see my struggles with gender presentation and interpersonal relationships, and the stress they caused me, during middle and high school as a symptom of our culture and society’s failure in general to represent a wide variety of queer experiences – particularly outside of lesbian, gay, and trans identities – to young people so that people like me can better understand themselves. I can’t deny the fact that the social norms about dating and relationships in high school that I found in the media I consumed had a major impact on me, to the point where they sometimes contradicted how my mother tried to raise me. This post is in part a reflection on myself that struck me recently, but also yet another piece of evidence about how the lack of representation for ace and aro people actively damages our lives.

#wow this ended up getting long #anecdotes by peachdoxie #asexuality #aromanticism

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altruistic-meme · 4 years

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ooh ace questions i been afraid to ask :0 1, 2, 4, 5, 12, 16, 17, 19, 22, if youre comfy ;o;

1: Where are you on the ace-spectrum? again, i am completely asexual!

2: When did you first realise you were ace-spec? hhhhhhhhh as soon as i learned what the term “asexual” meant, i was 100% sure i was somewhere on the spectrum, though i do believe i thought i was demisexual at first!

4: What moments make you think, “Well, I’m definitely ace”? some more include; when i’m consuming media and suddenly the characters kiss or smth and everyone else is like “finally!! the sexual tension was killing me!!” or something and i just sit there dumbfounded like WHAT SEXUAL TENSION??, really literally any time there is “sexual tension” i almost NEVER notice bc it makes?? very little sense??, uhh also whenever i see smth that is vaguely ace flag colored i freak about it asdfghjk

5: Are you sex-positive, sex-repulsed, or indifferent? some kinda-in-depth explanation: i’m sex-repulsed bc the idea of literally like,, anything sexual happening to me makes me nauseous. HOWEVER i am sex-positive! because i believe in others having sex as long as all parties fully consent, generally regardless of other factors (there are always exceptions ofc)

12: Dragons or cake ace? bro do you know how DOPE it would be to have a dragon??

16: How do you feel about sex scenes/romantic plots/subplots in movies? who ever it is that decided sex scenes are smth that could be in movies can literally jump in a volcano because there is NO REASON to have them. you can show the intimacy in other ways!!! you can even allude to sex without literally showing it. i do not think i have ever spoken to someone who has thought a movie would be worse if they didn’t have a sex scene.

as for romance plots/subplots, i’m hmmmm because yeah, they are often extremely unnecessary and rushed, but i’m not against them as a general rule. it’s just,,, they’re often written with characters who idk, really don’t have any chemistry, and like i said they’re rushed a lot. it’s hard, ig, for movies, bc they have less time to build up a strong relationship (especially for subplots bc they’re even less focused on) but if they can do it WELL then yeah, go for it.

17: How do you feel about sex/love songs? i’m biased towards music. i love music. i love the emotions in the lyrics and tone. i don’t have any issues with sex/love songs, i even like some songs about sex adggds and i like lots of love songs.

19: Are you any good at flirting? flirting is the creation of the devil, please keep it very far away from me.

22: Do you want kids? not really. i don’t think i’d make a good parent anyway, and that doubt makes me want them even less bc if i don’t think i’d be a good parent, then i’m not going to try bc if i’m right then that is a life that is directly affected by mine.

#askers #nolongervoid #allya asking ALL the questions asdfg #also you can always ask me questions about it asdfgh #i'm VERY open to talk about my sexuality!!!

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rose-wine-selfships · 4 years

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💛 hi! can i request a male bsd matchup? i'm an asexual heteromantic, 5'6 with shoulder length black hair & dark brown eyes. i don't wear makeup, unless i need to. personality-wise, i come off as cold, and seem apathetic (although i am, at times). i can be quite the sadist hshja- i love pulling pranks on people :,) i tease & playfully flirt with my close friends a lot. dunno if these helps but i'm an intj-t/intp-t. it changes. 3w4. ravenclaw + slytherin. ♡ ( pt. 1! )

Hi there! I usually don’t do any matchups nowadays. But since this is a special matchup exchange I’m willing to do it for you! This matchup will be as detailed as possible, and I’ll even throw in another potential romantic partner for you as a prospect too. I hope you enjoy it! 👍🌹🍷✨

Out of a lot of people…I’d ship you with…

Osamu Dazai!

Dazai, I think, would be a perfect match for you since you and him share a whole lot in common. The way you carry yourself and how he presents himself would be a natural occurrence among you two. You two are very similar personality wise, and while this presents itself with its own unique challenges, this can also lead you two into understanding each other better. Not every relationship is perfect, but you two would really blend well together and highly complement each other to the highest degree. Here’s why:

Dazai would complement you by being the more outgoing and social partner of the two. I headcanon him as the type to love people with a snarky and blunt sense of humor. And you definitely have it! Dazai loves to honestly hang out with you by pranking and/or messing with other people in the ADA. Dazai loves that you have an edge to your personality, just like him. He’s over the moon from your flirty and sadistic tendencies, and is relieved that someone finally understands his sense of humor too.

You are also halfway in between a Ravenclaw and Slytherin. What this means is you are also an intellectual as well as an ambitious and cunning person. Your personality would go well with Dazai since he tends to have a similar way of thinking. He’s ambitious if given the right motivation to go after something. But also, if it’s not worth going after (like office paperwork), he will go off and do his own thing. Dazai would love going on horror movie binges with you as long as he can hug you tight. Dazai would be insightful enough to know when you need cuddling, and he’d high key lay the cuddles on you (with your permission of course)!

Dazai wouldn’t mind that you’re messy at times since he kinda has that problem too (someone get this man a broom lol)! Hence why Kunikida scolds the crap out of him for it. But you and Dazai can work on this problem together and maybe put away/throw away items that are unnecessary to your guys place. You guys can make it a game, and you’d sneak in kisses as a reward maybe? You two would be low key the most competitive game team ever, but you two would hide it so well. Dazai would be a little more patient than you if you lash out, but he’ll make sure that you also know where he stands in the relationship most of this time.

And when you need comfort the most, Dazai will assess the situation and comfort you the best way he possibly can. Despite his spontaneity, he’s also methodical and careful, so he’d be with you long enough in the relationship to know exactly what you need. If you can’t sleep, he’ll distract you by talking with you for hours, or even get your favorite beverage and just stay by your side. If you’re upset, he’ll not just stay by your side, but simply hold your hand/hug you if you need any physical reassurance too.

Even though Dazai can be outgoing at times, he also needs his time to himself. So he’d completely understand if you need to leave in any social situation. He’d have a cue system with you so he’d leave with you just in time. Dazai loves that you play the piano, violin, and guitar so well. He’d be asking you to play for him a lot since he loves how intense, focused, and passionate you’d be with playing these instruments.

Honestly, you two would complement each other so well and I can see your relationship develop into something more meaningful as each day passes by.

Another potential match would be: Ryunosuke Akutagawa!

Akutagawa would be another good match for you. Because honestly, he needs someone that would help him lighten up in situations. Your sense of humor will rub off on him and he’d have fun with you. The good news is that he shares your similar thought processes, and prefers to talk out things and be logical about it. The problem is, he tends to take things way too seriously and is often wound up. But that’s where you come in!

I headcanon him as an INTJ-T, hence why he’d understand you so well. I also headcanon him as asexual, so he’d be ok with doing basic intimacy. He’s not keen on too much physical intimacy, but he’d always be there for you when you need it most. He’s very big on honesty and loyalty since he didn’t get it much when he grew up in the slums of Yokohama. Hence why he’s so blunt and brutally honest at times.

You will have to tell him that you need cuddles here and there. He’ll be awkward about it at first, but he would eventually melt in the warmth of your arms. He’d frequently low key ask you for cuddles when he had a rough day in the Port Mafia. I think you two would be another really good couple of tbh.

Hope you have a good rest of your day! 👍

#pinkprophetposts #rose posts #writers matchup exchange #special request #bungou stray dogs #bsd #osamu dazai #akutagawa ryunosuke #matchup #bungou stray dogs matchup #bsd matchup #anime matchup #long post #detailed matchup #hope uou like it!

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mikauzoran · 4 years

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The Plan (TM) (re: Mikau’s WIPs)

Okay. So, I have Lukadrien June 2020 behind me, and I finished my piece for LuXY Week. I still have some editing before I post the remaining chapters of these things, but the hard part is done. So. What next?

I’ve got a variety of works in progress to choose from, and I’m not sure where I want to focus my energies at the moment. Below is my workload in order from “most likely to work on” to “least likely to work on”.

Thoughts? Feelings? Suggestions? Opinions?

Things I am Most Likely to Work on at Present:

The Adventures of Off-Brand Ladybug and Chat Noir: This is a one-shot (I hope.) You can read an excerpt here. It’s Adrienette in a post-Season Three setting and focuses on Adrien noticing that Marinette is mega-stressed, so he takes her out for coffee in an attempt to be a good friend. They end up talking about a lot of things both silly and serious, and the whole thing ends with a reveal and dating.

I did an outline for this one that’s seven hundred eighteen words long. I’m currently two thousand words into the story, and I’ve covered the first sentence of my outline. ^.^; Whoops? Anyway. I’m probably going to tackle this one first just to get it off my plate, since I have a clear idea of where it’s going from start to finish. It’s just a matter of sitting down and writing. There’s nothing really to figure out.

Paw de Deux: This is another one-shot. (Again, I hope.) You can read an excerpt here. This is Marichat-style Adrienette. They’re at a masked ball, and Adrien is wearing a black mask and cat ears, so when he goes up to Marinette (whom he has recognized as Ladybug), she recognizes him as Chat Noir (though, she doesn’t realize that he’s also Adrien. She just thinks she’s run into her partner detransformed and putting his identity at risk). She drags him off to a secluded balcony to give him an earful, and they talk and flirt. Adrien’s cover is eventually blown. It ends happily.

I have about one thousand five hundred words written so far and an idea of the main events of the story. I don’t know what they’re going to talk and flirt about yet out on the balcony, but I trust something will come to me and it will be delightful. Maybe I’ll do this one first. :/ I think it will end up shorter than Off-Brand, so maybe I should just finish it and get it out of the way.

I don’t know. Does either one seem more interesting to you? Which one would you want first?

Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: Basically what it says on the label. Marinette and Chat are dating. Adrien accidentally kisses Marinette, forgetting he’s not Chat at the moment, and Marinette and Adrien eventually end up seeing one another behind Chat’s back. Equal measures of angst and fluff. I’m “working on” Chapter Thirteen right now. I say “working on” because I haven’t really touched the story in a month. I’m really disenchanted with it right now, but people seem to like it, so I want to try to force myself to keep working on this.

Four Kisses Meme: This is just an idea floating around in my mind, but the meme is a kiss on four different places, and I wanted to do a different kiss with each corner of the love square. I was thinking Ear: Lady Noir, Forehead: Ladrien, Nose: Marichat, Lips: Adrienette. That should be fairly quick and only four chapters. The story is Adrien/Chat realizing that it’s time to move on from Ladybug and that he wants to give things with Marinette a chance.

The Seduction of Adrien Agreste: This is part of the Springtime in Wonderland (Daisy/Jabberwocky) series. It deals with Luka and Adrien experimenting with physical intimacy to see if they can reach a compromise where Luka and (asexual) Adrien are both comfortable and have their needs met.

This part of the series takes place literally right before the final chapter of Daisy/Jabberwocky. If I write it now, I have a feeling that it’s not going to fit neatly in the series timeline because I have a lot of ground to cover with Daisy and Jabberwocky, and I know that things are going to shift around and change between now and when I finally get to write that final chapter. I’m thinking that it doesn’t matter so much, though. People seem excited for this part of the series, and I think it would be an interesting challenge to write a Mature work. Having a couple things not mesh chronologically with the rest of the work isn’t a huge deal because each of the works in the series can be read by itself as a stand-alone work anyway, so... I’m inclined to maybe try my hand at this part of the story before circling back to Daisy and Jabberwocky at a later date. Also, that way, when I get to the end, I won’t have to stop and write Seduction before posting the final chapter of Jabberwocky/Daisy. ^.^;

Things I am Least Likely to Work on at Present:

Happenstance and Magic: Marichat May 2019. Marinette and Chat Noir adopt kittens together, and Adrien tries to get Marinette to see that he’s not perfect but still a worthwhile person deserving of her love.

I think this would be the easiest of my big WIPs to finish. You may have noticed that when given free reign, I tend to write ridiculous amounts. Like, the Springtime universe is massive to the point of being a little overwhelming. I think I’m going to have to work on that over the course of the next few years. Ditto for Rejects. I mean, I’ve just entered Week Two in the story, and I have a whole MONTH of content planned out before we get to the end. And look how long it is already. -.-; Both of those projects are going to be “chip away a little bit at a time” works.

Happenstance is structured on the Marichat May 2019 prompt list, so there are only thirty-one chapters possible. And I already have seven chapters done and my notes for the rest. I can sit down and get that done in a couple months maybe. It’s doable. This is probably the next project that I’m going to circle back to because it feels more manageable.

The Rejects Club: Predominantly Marichat with Adrienette. Chat Noir and Marinette unexpectedly grow very close very fast as they open up to one another after Marinette overhears Adrien seemingly dismissing her as a romantic prospect. Identity shenanigans at farcical levels ensue.

Like I said above, I have a lot left to do on this one. -.-; I probably won’t devote a lot of time to it this year because I’m planning to work on the above-listed items first. That being said, when I stopped work on this for a mental health break last year, I had four chapters drafted that I hadn’t released yet. I got burned out on this story really bad. I was in really bad mental health while I was writing it, only sleeping four or five hours and spending all my free time working on Rejects, so I really needed time away from the project.

Until very recently, I’ve still felt burned out on the project, but a week ago was the one-year anniversary of me publishing Chapter Twenty-Four, so I decided to edit Chapter Twenty-Five and post it. Over the next three months, I plan to edit and post the remaining three unposted chapters. I probably won’t start work on the story again at that point, but at least you’ll have everything I’ve written. I’ll see how I’m feeling after Happenstance.

Springtime in Wonderland: Mess. Eventual good mental health and happy ending, but mess in the meantime. ^.^ If you’ve read it, you know that this is an accurate summary. This one is really emotionally and mentally draining for me, so it’s not good to work on when I’m in poor mental health. At the time of this post, it is still 2020, and I think the whole world is in poor mental health. I’ll probably do some fun Nachtmusik chapters, but I don’t anticipate getting much done on the story proper this year.

And that’s it for right now. Thoughts? Opinions? What are you most excited for? What sounds interesting?

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