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#I am actually in tears that this happened twice
dnpg-hiatus-survivor · 14 hours
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the air has shifted. i was able to sleep but still when i awoke my heart was pounding and i can’t breathe. because of… dan and phil.
maybe this doesnt mean anything. maybe im just a crazy phannie (well thats true no matter what happens but still).
however, this has happened to me before. twice. let me tell y’all about those times.
the first time, i want to say was august of 2016 (could be slightly off). i had been watching dan and phil for over a year but i was still pretty new to the phandom as a space. i was at my grandmas house just chilling upstairs when this photo hit the tumblr scene:
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and oh. my. god. my stomach dropped. my heart started racing. i was pacing around the room going holy shit holy shit holy shit. this photo was a big deal at the time. it was dan’s first time letting his hair be natural at a m&g or youtube event. and, it was the first time ever we had seen dan wear nail polish.
when i woke up the next morning, i still couldnt breathe. the main thing is that i was surprised how much hold these youtubers had over my heart like jesus christ. but more importantly…
the. air. had. shifted. and i knew it.
this photo, to me, is the beginning of the soft launch era. it was after this that we got the halloween baking monster pops video, which entered our post baking universe. and it was after that we got the first gamingmas. but this photo, was the start of it all. the start of dan and phil tearing down the wall just a little and starting to be more themselves on camera.
the second time, is a bit more obvious of a shift. it was june 2019. the june video had been talked for over a year at this point. we weren’t really sure if it was happening or not. what it was. but we all had… ideas. but oh my goodness, the entire first 13 days of that month. i was just buzzing. i was freaking out. and i didnt know why!! well… i knew why. but surely two youtubers could not make me feel this way for two weeks straight. oh yes they could actually.
when this tweet happened:
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holy fuck, i think i shit myself. i felt the air shift. like in real time. i could barely talk because my heart was pounding so fast. i was playing truth bombs with my friends (because yes i am the #1 phannie) when i read the tweet, i dropped my phone and started tearing up whispering “oh my god its happening” over and over again. did they think i was crazy? yep!
but y’all… the. air. had. SHIFTED.
anyway long speech over. what was the point of this. to tell you that my phannie brain is convinced that something is happening. the air has shifted. i know it has. it has before. what does that mean for dan and phil? i don’t know yet! we’re just gonna have to see :))
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takaraphoenix · 1 year
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There is something that feels inexplicably... straight... in a way that’s uncomfortable, stiff and also just unenjoyable for me, personally, about the narrative of “bravery and inspiration” when it comes to coming outs.
We all - who we have been there and come out - do know that there is an angle of feeling inspired. Sure. Of course. Knowing there’s others like us out there gives us strength. That can come from a place of fiction, when you see yourself represented in media for the very first time. That can come from a place of connection, when you get to interact with another queer person for the first time.
The arc of having The Gay One Of The Main Characters have their coming out and then, down the road, have other, minor characters come out too, and have them express that they felt inspired by the bravery of the Gay Main. I hate that. I hate that so much. Urgh, that just tastes icky to me.
It tastes straight to me. Because straight people love to imagine us as brave, because they often struggle to imagine us as just existing. Our existence must be brave. Our existence must be hardships. And they are, obviously do we face those things. But this framework feels so reductive.
It reduces the coming out to bravery, when a coming out story can be about so much more. Should be about so much more. We deserve to have stories told about so much more than just our hardships and struggles, we deserve to be more than just brave.
Why do the minor queer characters need to be inspired to come out? Why do they need to be so desperately closeted, so incredibly afraid to be themselves that it takes this act of bravery? Why did the author feel the need to create a fictional world that is so oppressive, so harmful and constrictive? That’s a deliberate choice that’s being made.
And sometimes, it’s a choice that makes me feel tired, to be honest. I mean, we can accept werewolves and witches being real and all of that, and bend reality, but let’s not get too unreal, we should definitely keep the homophobia.
Even in a world where we do keep the homophobia, the act of bravery of one singular queer character... ain’t gonna actually change that. Honestly, your choice here is worse than if you just... decided to write about a world where there isn’t any homophobia?
Genuinely. I’d much rather read about a world where we say acceptance is the norm from the get-go, rather than “and all the queers lived in fear, until The Chosen Queer One finally found the bravery to come out of the closet, and every other queer character followed them out of the closet, inspired by their bravery, and... everything was just dandy, actually”.
Because - because - there isn’t any homophobia here, in the end. Everything was just fine, in the end. Nobody faced any homophobia. You just needed the queers to be afraid until the Queer Main was “brave”, so they could all come out and realize that all the straights are actually really nice.
And that’s what makes it taste real straight.
Because the straights aren’t a threat. The straights are actually real nice! There is nothing bad happening here. The queers are being oh-so brave, but they have nothing to fear from us, we’re the good straights. We wouldn’t want to write about uncomfy things like actually bad straight people and actual homophobia. No, that’s going too far, we wouldn’t want to do that.
And I’m just kind of... tired, that just existing is enough to be seen as brave, and that the straight authors still need to feel comfy enough in their little worlds to not go too far, and that we do ridiculous shit like pretending nobody was ever out before the Queer Main. I’m just tired.
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borderlinegerard · 26 days
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its always morally correct to wish death on your ex
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taliaglitch · 9 months
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I'M DONEEEE with bg3!!!!!! CREDITS ROLLING! almost 110 hours for one playthrough, doing the main + companion storylines and whatever sidequests i stumbled upon in the process. steam says i have 150 hours in the past two weeks, and since i didn't play EA any that shortly before release, those 40 extra hours are i guess from reloads and... does the time played displayed in-game not count loading screens? good lord i hope i didn't spend 20+ hours in loading screens. i think i spent about 30-35 hours in act 1, 30-35 in act 2, and the rest in act 3 (which would be my favorite if my performance in the city was better - but i at least never did have any crashes in it! just the first 2 acts)
some rambling thoughts on the ending/my playthrough in the tags, but tl;dr i'm not as underwhelmed as reddit led me to believe i would be (certainly less than i was by dos2's ending!), but i am frustrated by a great deal of visual bugs (flat textures, missing meshes, etc) i experienced in the ending cutscenes - but i have no idea how much was the game itself and how much was my computer not being up to the task (i'm leaning towards it being my computer, because it has a habit of making textures super fucked up after playing for a while, like they don't decompress properly or something and theyre 5 pixels big & nasty-looking, but also that's different than the bugs i got in the ending). i'm also confused by the lack of ending slides since those have been an rpg staple probably for as long as there have been rpgs. but overall: WOW I REALLY LIKED THIS VIDEO GAME. extremely worth the $60 i spent 3 years ago, and will be worth however much i have to spend to upgrade my computer to do it justice.
#SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS#READ THESE TAGS AT YOUR OWN RISK#so i ended up ditching the two-impulse-playthroughs concept at the start of act 3#i couldn't commit both to being evil and also to playing the game twice as the same character in such a short span of time#so impulse consolidated into one astarion-romancing tadpole-eating mostly-chaotic-good disaster#they also romanced the emperor. because of course they did#what's that meme. *astarion voice* me my partner and the mind flayer that visits them in their dreams#yknow. the one with the $500 mareep plushie#but they actually faced no consequences for all their tadpole usage other than having a spooky face for act 3#which no one ever commented on#so either they needed more tadpoles or i specifically had to pick the 'could i become illithid assimilate orpheus and use the stones'#option. which speaking of orpheus i am so sorry lae'zel i will do you justice next playthrough#uhhh what else. i'm not as unhappy with karlach's ending as reddit led me to believe either. but that's probably just because i love sad#endings. and also didn't fully romance her this playthrough. maybe i'd feel different if i did#the actual final boss fight was very very cool. gortash & orin's felt underwhelming compared to ketheric's#raphael's fight was super cool but mostly because of the disney villain song ass music. i managed to crowd him into a corner so it was just#a matter of hitting him over & over until he died. not that difficult#i never had to reload a fight more than once and that happened a single digit number of times. which i appreciate! i was on explorer#after all. the difficulty felt perfect - big fights were challenging and stressful but not frustrating to the point of tears#as they tended to be in EA for me. many an EA playthrough of mine ended against priestess gut#i got an achievement for saving every tiefling refugee i could#and specifically impulse killed the netherbrain & destroyed the tadpoles#i can't think of anything else. i like this game a lot#the companions & their storylines were the absolute highlight for me as they are in every rpg#even if i didn't properly complete lae'zels. or wyll's? i mean i broke his pact. and then found his dad who died anyway. but the quest was#never marked complete in my journal#the ending i got for gale felt strange to me too like bro youre really just gonna repeat the mistakes of your past self and that karsus guy#or whoever. i passed that dc 30 persuasion check and everything#still in awe of shadowheart & astarion's specifically. i'm sure i'll feel the same about lae'zels next playthrough#aaaand i hit the limit on tags! well. off to draw! maybe. i might sleep for 5 million years first. exhausting! 150 hours in 10 days!
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patrophthia · 5 months
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mini skirt | theodore nott
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pairing: theodore nott x reader
wc: 3.5k
genre: smut (minors DNI), fluff, best friends to lovers, meddling blaise zabini just coz, they’re in love 🤢🤢, self indulgent im so sorry for the person i am
smut tags: dry humping, coming untouched, (very little) oral sex, come eating, unprotected sex (don’t do this!!), fingering, size kink, breeding kink, bulge kink, cream pie, so much dirty talk oml, big dick theo 😞, reader being shorter than theo, reader wearing a mini skirt, lots of cussing
summary: blaise zabini’s idea of how to play matchmaker might be different from the traditional way of doing it but at least you ended up getting dicked down, so you guess his method works too.
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Blaise Zabini's idea of playing match maker is whispering to you —in a not so quiet way, that he'd heard 'Nott's got a big dick' and though you swatted him away. Face disgruntled, mumbling about how you did not want to know about your best friend's private parts. You're terrible enough of a person for your eyes to drop to his crotch when he sat down on the couch opposing yours.
There's a call of your name, once, twice. Before Theodore leaned forward, his voice loud enough for your eyes to tear itself from his thighs to his eyes. You gulped, hoping —hoping that he thought you'd blanked out and just happened to be staring at a very unfortunate spot. "Hmm?"
Theodore's held onto your gaze, lazying back onto his coach. "You okay? I asked if you wanted to head back up but you didn't answer."
"Head back up?" You repeated. "Head where?"
He eyes you suspiciously. "To your dorm?" Theodore gets up from his seat and leans down to crouch beneath you, staring up at you. "Or mine?"
You blink. Mind running in all kind of ideas —save for the ones you knew he meant when he asked you this question. You shift slightly in your side, scanning the Slytherin's common room as the party rage on; it's nothing too big, a get together between all seventh year supplied with alcohol —that Draco definitely did not buy just to impress the golden boy, not at all.
"I'm pretty sure I saw Draco take Harry up to your dorm, and neither of them look like they're exhibitionists." You say off handedly, looking down at him. "Besides, I'm actually enjoying myself here."
And to prove yourself, you get up from your seat; pulling your mini skirt low enough to cover your ass. Theodore, despite having every chance to peer underneath it, remains respectful as he plays with the hem of your skirt. "You are?"
"You aren't?" You ask back, trying not to squirm from the way his finger brushes against your thigh. Salazar this was your best friend for shit's sake, knowing that he could hypothetically have a big dick should not turn you on as much as it was.
Theodore shakes his head, slowly, almost as if he was in a haze as he quietly tells you. "Not really."
"Let's head up then," you tell him, and though both of your voices are low —barely even audible considering how loud Mattheo decided to play his music. Theodore was able to understand you perfectly, picking himself up as he used your waist as his guide. "Come on."
His pinkie finger catches onto yours as he gets onto his feet, him towering over you the slightest bit. And though, Theodore and you leaving a party early to turn in for the night was a sight your friends were used to by now —knowing that nothing ever did came out of leaving the two of you alone to your own devices. Something about how Theodore was looking at you makes them think that that might just change tonight.
But, they regress and bid the two of you goodnight with a few sporting playful frowns on how you never stay with them until the party actually ends.
You only smile, leading Theodore up the stairs to your dorm like every other night. Once in the comfort of your room, you sit yourself down on your bed, patting the spot for besides you for Theodore to take. He did as told, melting into your touch as you brush his hair back. "How much did you drink?"
His eyes are shut, face leaning into the palm of your hand as his own grips onto your skirt, tugging you closer to him. "Just those two shots we took when we first went down."
You hum, letting him pull you to him. "Did you smoke?" Theodore shakes his head slightly, before opening his eyes back up at you. You laugh lightly. "Then what's up with you tonight? I'm always the one dragging us back."
"Just tired, I guess." He murmurs.
"You guess?" You ask him, standing up —letting his hands fall where it'd been trailing up your skirt back to his lap, lingering slightly on what sits above it. "When are you ever not tired?"
Theodore laughs at your words, eyes crinkling as he did so. "When I watch you play quidditch," he says, pushing himself up to press his back against the head of your bed. Watching as you shuffle towards your wardrobe, picking out a pair of sweats along with two shirts he'd left at your room. "Or when you're drunk out of your mind and I'd to have to play pretend as your boyfriend and take care of you."
You snort at his words, picking out a pair of shorts for yourself. "You don't have to pretend to be my boyfriend to take care of me."
"Mhmm," he hums from his spot, lounging lazily as you walk up to his side, the change of clothes in hand. "But it's more affective that way." His hand finds its way to your hips, pulling you closer to him. "And I like it. I like pretending to be yours."
There's a split second where his eyes falters, looking at you almost nervously as he waits for you to respond. "You do?"
"Mhmm," he hums, pushing himself up to sit straight. "More than anything."
It's nauseating to see him look at you —eyes lacking their usual stoic and disinterest to instead be replaced by lust and adoration.
Without thinking twice, you leaned down meeting his lips halfway as your eyes flutters shut. And though seated, Theodore was still tall enough to kiss you back with ease. Letting you melt into the feeling of his soft lips moving slowly and desperately against yours.
"Fuck," Theodore mutters breathlessly, he pushes against your hand; dropping your (mostly his) clothes to the floor. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
"What?" You giggle, letting him pull you onto his lap. "Kiss me?"
"To kiss you again," He murmurs, attaching his lips back onto yours; a soft whimper slipping out of his lips when his clothed cock brushes against your core through his swift movements.
Fuck, Blaise was not lying.
In between your legs, underneath beige slacks, Theo's giant cock ruts up to you. You gasp into his mouth. "Ah—" you try to catch your breath. "—fuck, Theo. You've been wanting to kiss me since we were thirteen?"
"Mhmm," he hums, long slender hands gripping onto your waist before he slides one underneath your shirt and lays it flat against your tummy. His free hand, resting on your thigh, guiding you down onto him. "You're the only girl I ever want to kiss."
It's silly, you know it is —especially when his cock was pressing into your cunt, only separated by a thin layer of clothing— and yet you can't help but smile up at him, almost giggling when you ask him. " 's that why you asked me to be your first kiss?"
"Mhmm." He's smiling when he kisses you. "Can you blame me?" His tongue licks at your top lips, quick and gentle, trying to gauge on what you tasted like. "Prettiest girl at Hogswart and she was willing to be my first kiss."
His hand moves grips onto your waist, his touch blazing hot. "... Flatterer," you say, a playful pout prominent on your lips.
He chuckles, pressing his lips back onto yours, hand moving from your thigh to tug at your shirt. When you nod, Theodore pulls away just enough for him to take your shirt off and toss it Salazar knows where.
He doesn't even try to hide his staring, canting his hips upwards as he held you down. "Can you feel that?" He asks breathlessly, almost whining as he humps against you. "Can you feel how hard you make me?"
You could only moan, nodding dumbly as you rolled your hips. "Fuck—" he says against your lips, "—how'd you get even prettier, baby?"
And despite how hot —how nauseating it is to feel his boner pressing onto your wet cunt, you can't help but giggle at his words, at how turned on he got just at the sight of your tits. "It's just boobs."
"It's your boobs." He hand goes up behind you, making quick work at the clasps before kissing your chest, licking at your nipples; his hips not halting in its movement. "So so pretty."
His hand slips down, going underneath your skirt to knees at you thigh. "Shirt—" you roll onto him, breathless each time you feel just how hard he was. "—shirt, Theo."
Though incoherent, Theodore still understood you enough to pull his shirt off of himself before attaching his lips back onto you. His tongue glides against yours, swallowing your moans up when he bucks particularly hard.
It’s humiliating how the simple act of humping, combined with Theo’s hand playing with your tits, pinching and rolling your nipple between his long fingers with his tongue exploring your mouth has you writhing on top of him.
"Theo, ah—" you whine, hands gripping onto his shoulders to steady yourself, a familiar warmth building in your stomach. "— wait, fuck!"
Theodore's hips coming to a halt, as he watch you cum on top of him —in awe, without him even having touched you. "Did you just… ?"
You whine, pressing your face against his bare shoulder to hide just how embarrass you were. Theodore pulls you back, looking at you with what you could only assume was love. "Did you just come, baby?"
You nod bashfully, hands going to cover your face just for him to pin both of them down. "So cute, so so pretty." He kisses you roughly, rutting up to you. "Gonna fuck you nice and full, how’s that sound?"
Theodore only frowns when you nod, always having been the talkative one in your relationship. “Words, baby. That sound good to you?”
“Ah!” Your panties stick to your cunt uncomfortably, feeling all too messy when he grinds his cock onto you. “Good,” you whine, “ ‘s good.”
Theodore smiles, pressing a quick kiss onto your lips as a reward. His hand trails down to your thighs, flipping your skirt up before groaning at the sight of his beige slacks soiled by your slick and cum. "Look at the mess you made, didn’t even have to touch you.”
Sliding your panties to the side, Theodore runs two fingers down your slit. "Even your cunt's pretty," he murmurs, bringing his finger up to his mouth to licks at your juices. "You taste even better."
You're pouting as you watch him play with your pussy, fingers pressed onto your clit, going back in for another taste before you finally move down his crotch, just enough for you to palm at his cock.
"Fuck—" he whimpers, hips bucking onto your hand.
Feeling proud you pulled such a reaction out of him, you reach for his belt, lifting yourself up off of him as he helps rid himself of his slacks. Pulling back his boxers, you will yourself not to drool over the sight of his long and thick cock, milky from the precum leaking from its tip.
Your hand moves on its own, wrapping around the base of his hard cock only to find that your hand was too small to wrap all the way around him. "Why didn't you tell me your dick was huge?."
"You want me to —fuck—" Theodore whines, cock twitching in your hand as it begged for you to move. "You want me to tell my best friend about the size of my cock?"
"Yeah?" You move your hands up, thumb running along his tip. "Biggest dick I've ever seen."
"You never told me you had —fuck, baby— never told me you had a perfect cunt either." Theodore moans, the sight in front of him feels like it came straight out of a porno. His best friend and her small hands playing with his cock, tits out with only her tiny skirt stopping him from fucking her into the mattress.
You giggle softly before leaning down to take him inside your mouth. "Fuck!" Theodore choked out, hips roughly thrusting into your mouth. He's too big for you to fit in entirely in your throat and he knows it. And he's too close to cumming in your mouth to keep you were you are.
His hand pulling your head up and away from his cock swiftly. His eyes are shut, head leaning back against your headboard as he breathes heavily.
Your eyes are teary when he opens his eyes back up, and he wills himself not to think about how it's the result of him fucking your face. Theodore brings you up to sit between his legs, kissing you desperately, groaning when he tastes himself on your lips.
Your hand goes back to grab at his length and he whines, pressing his face into your neck and squirms underneath your touch. "Wait, fuck—" his hand goes to stop you, brain going dead as you pumped his cock. "—fuck, fuck wait."
Theodore moves away from your touch, pressing your hand down onto your mattress as he heaves heavily. "Shit— Next time," he whines, "we can do all that next time," he murmurs against your neck, pulling his head away to look at you, he adds: "but I need to fuck you. Please, just let me fuck you. I'll do anything to feel your cunt and fill you up nice and full, please baby."
And when he pleads for you so nicely, who were you to deny him anything? He kisses you again, laying you down on your back, whispering soft thank you’s as he presses open mouth kisses down your body. Slender hands roaming around as he tries to map you out. It's only when Theodore flips your skirt up, ripping away your panties to give himself a full view of your throbbing pussy did you realize what he's about to do.
"Hey, I liked those!"
"I'll buy you more, baby." You're dripping in front of him and he think he might be losing his mind. "Need to eat you out first."
"Thought you wanted to fuck me," you whine, gasping softly when he slides his fingers over your pussy, "why can you play with —fuck."
You pout at him, not expecting him to slide his finger inside you while you talked. "Why can you— ah! —play with me when I can't play with you."
"Not playing baby, just stretching you out," he tells you with a soft smile, leaning over to kiss your pout away. "Not gonna fit unless we stretch you out."
" 's fine," you whimper, feeling him slip another finger in, fucking into you slowly. "it'll fit just fine."
"You sure?" He picks up his pace, long fingers reaching places your own never could. "Don't wanna hurt you."
" 's fine," you moan when he slips a third finger into your cunt, "don't care if it hurts, just wanna feel you."
Theodore pulls out, bringing his fingers to his lips to taste you once more. Moving back up, Theodore grabs at a pillow, placing it beneath your lower back to elevate your cunt. Slowly, he guides his dick into you, gasping at the feeling of his thick head stretching you open.
"Fuck—" Theodore pushes in deeper, pausing when he feels you clenching impossibly tight around him "—your cunt's sucking me in so good."
The burn is delicious, his cock tearing you open from within, stretching you out to take him into you. "So full," you whine, pressing your head into your sheets as he slides in even deeper into you. " 's too much."
"I know, baby," he murmurs, rubbing slow circles onto your thighs, "just a little more, I know you can take it."
You whine pathetically, feeling him fuck the last few inches snuggly into you. "Ah!" He hasn't even moved and you're already breathless, feeling him in your stomach. “Fuck me, Theo. Fuck me nice and full.”
“You want me to fuck your small cunt nice and full?” Theodore pulls out entirely, leaving just his tip in your cunt before roughly thrusting back in, hands on your hips as he pounds into you. "I’ll fuck it nice and full for you, maybe even put a baby in you."
And when your pussy grips his cock at his words, Theodore drives into you even harder. “Put a baby in me, please.”
“Yeah? You want that?” He watches as your tits bounce with each harsh thrust. “You want to carry my baby? Have your pretty tits grow bigger? You want that?”
“Yes,” you cry out, eyes screwed shut, the pain of his cock splitting you open mixing with pleasure. “Yes, ah— want it.”
“Fuck—” Having just about enough, Theodore pushes your mini skirt up your stomach giving him a full view of how well he's fucking his thick cock into you. The mound of your pussy bulging as it makes room for his dick to spear into your cunt.
"See that baby? See how good your cunt’s at taking my cock?" He asks, his hand grabbing yours to press down below your navel. "See how good I'm fucking you?"
You can only moan, crying out his name when he presses your hand down onto the bulge in your stomach, pushing his own dick out of your pussy. "Feel how deep my cock is inside of you?"
“Gonna be so easy for me to breed you,” he murmurs, wrapping your legs around his waist to fuck himself even deeper into you. “Want me to breed you, baby? Hmm?”
You nod desperately, too cock drunk to speak. Jolting when Theodore presses a harsh finger to your clit, circling it as he fucked deeper into you. "Theo, I'm gonna—"
"I know baby," he says, his cock getting impossibly harder inside of you. He presses another finger onto your clit, rubbing tight circles as you squirm underneath him. "Fuck— you're pussy's so good. Need you to come on my cock."
Theodore leans down to kiss you, pushing his length even deeper into you. You moan into his mouth, fucking you through your orgasm, your legs trembling as you try to squeeze him in.
Theodore fucks your cum back into you harder and faster, chasing his own high. One quick glance at his cock coated with your cum, followed by the bulge in your tummy was sends has him rutting into your tight cunt, spilling his warm seed inside you.
Theodore thrusts a few more time just to savor the sight of you spread on his cock before finally pulling out of you. "Fuck Theo," you whined, his cum leaking out of you, making a mess all over your bedsheet. "Were you just never going to tell me your dick is huge?"
Theodore only smiles bashfully, pressing a kiss onto your forehead. "We're still on this?"
"You expect me to not be on this?" You say with a slight pout, Theodore only half paying attention to you as he grabbed a random shirt from the floor to wipe at you thighs. "It's almost like you don't even think of me as you best friend."
"Pretty sure best friends don't go around telling each other about how big their dick is, baby," he replies.
"Blaise can know about your dick size but I can't?" You murmur. "Talk about double standards."
Theodore pauses his movements, hand hovering over your spent pussy. "That fucker."
"Hmm?" You're curious now, confused as to why he was suddenly cursing out your friend. Never having been one to use curse words unless —well, unless he's fucking you.
"He told me that you liked guys who begged," he says with a slight front, going back to cleaning you up nonetheless.
"Is that why you begged to fuck me?"
"No, that was all me," he answers truthfully, ears tinging red in embarrassment,"just wanted to fuck you."
"And they say romance is dead," you say playfully before your eye zeroes into what's in Theodore's hand. "What about the whole breeding thing? And ‘s that my shirt?"
Theodore, freezes with his hands between your thighs, feeling you stare him down as he did so. Slowly, he unravels the shirt he'd use to wipe you clean only to realize that yes, that is your shirt.
"You ripped up my panties, messed up my skirt, tried to put a baby in me, and used my shirt to wipe up your cum," you say, frowning, "I'm never having sex with you again."
Theodore's quick to apologize, peppering your face with kisses, mumbling sorry over and over again. "I'll sneak you out of Oxford street, take my black card with you, how's that sound?"
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— from bee: this is my first time writing smut be nice to me 😡
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autism-corner · 8 months
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PLEASE FUCKING HELP
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norrussell · 6 months
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Friends Don't | George Russell⁶³
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Pairings: George Russell x fem!bestfriend!reader
Summary: you go out to celebrate George's home race win, not even imagining what the night will bring
Warnings: smut, drunk driving, unprotected sex
A/N: you will maybe have to necessarily read part 1 and part 2 hehe. For the sake of the plot, we'll pretend some things already happened. I've spent the whole week writing this and only got it to all click together from the third attempt. Third time's a charm, right? But at least had a blast while editing, which is a rarity. I actually enjoy writing these 'chapters' and building this world sm <3
Sundays were a day for rest and relaxation. A day for sitting down with a good book and a cup of coffee. A day for cuddling up with a loved one and watching a movie. A day for taking some time for yourself; a day to reflect and recharge.
That was, of course, unless your best friend was George Russell. And that your Sundays didn't consist of spending most weekends a year at different race tracks around the world. Not all of them, but you tried to be there for him at least once or twice a month, as much as the opportunity allowed.
That afternoon, George took the checkered flag in Silverstone in P1 and now you were in your room, preparing for tonight's celebration. The victory party was going to be wild, and you knew it. You had seen how George celebrated previous wins, and tonight was going to be no different. Especially because it was his home race.
You took a deep breath and glanced at yourself in the mirror. You had dressed to impress, wearing a sparkly blue dress that fit you perfectly. Finishing your look with a pair of strappy heels and a silver necklace, you couldn't help but think about how previous events with George brought you even closer together.
Your friendship kind of became more... intimate. No pun intended. Guess you were both afraid not to lose each other over the past experiences, and that deepened your bond whether either of you wanted to admit or not. Now your only fear was that your closeness wouldn't tear you apart.
A soft knock pulled you out of your thoughts and you turned around to see George standing at the door with a sheepish grin on his face. He was dressed in a crisp white shirt and black pants, his hair tousled in a way that made your heart skip a beat.
"Hey there, gorgeous," he said, his voice low and husky. "Ready to party?"
Never before have you paid any mind to the nicknames he called you, but now a thrill ran down your spine. The way he looked at you made you feel like the only person in the world.
"I am," you said, smiling at him.
As you stepped out of the door, George took your hand in his and led you to the car waiting outside. The drive to the club was short, but the anticipation was high. The party was in full swing when you arrived; loud music, flashing lights, and the smell of alcohol filled the air.
George led you to the VIP section where his friends and family were already celebrating. You saw his siblings and a few of his close racing buddies. You could hear their loud cheering as they saw George walk in with you and feel the envious glares of the other women in the room.
George handed you a glass of champagne and raised his own in a toast. "To the best damn team in the world," he said, looking at you and his friends.
Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses together. You took a sip of the bubbly liquid, feeling it go down smoothly. The night was young, and the energy in the room was electric.
The party kept going on as the night deepened, and the noise of the songs blasted through the room. Glasses were filled up with drinks constantly, making it more of an effort to ignore the effects of the booze. You found yourself on the dance floor, surrounded by George and his friends. The bass of the music throbbed in your chest, and you let yourself get lost in the rhythm.
Throughout the night, each person had a chance to take their turn with you on the dance floor, and eventually you were spinning around in George's arms. The heat of the club mixed with the buzz of the alcohol made your skin flush against his. You could feel his muscles flexing as he twirled you around, his hand firmly holding onto yours. The closer you danced, the more the tension between you grew.
For a moment, you forgot where you were and who was watching. You moved on him like it was just the two of you in the world, your hands moving over his body like never before, and hips swaying in perfect synchronicity. You were so close to him that you could feel his breath on your neck, and the scent of his cologne filled your senses. You felt yourself getting lost in him, and something stirred inside you.
And it seemed like George caught up on your odd behavior as the song faded away. He grabbed your arm and started leading you away from the dance floor until you reached a quiet corner. But your drunken mind wasn't understanding his intentions.
You threw yourself onto him and he had to secure your hips with his hands to stop you from slipping. You let out a hazy chuckle as you started grinding against him once more before he pushed you back against the wall.
"Stop it, that's not why I brought you here."
But you didn't listen. You pulled yourself even closer, letting your lips brush against his neck. "Then why did you bring me here?"
He squeezed his eyes shut, your breath tickling his skin. "The drinks have gone to your head. I brought you here to take a break and cool off a little." he avoided telling you that you were drunk and not acting like yourself, afraid to provoke any unnecessary argument between you two.
Still, you weren't paying any attention. You were too inebriated to realize that your behavior was a little out of character, and you certainly weren't considering the consequences of your actions. You clasped your hands around his shoulders and pressed yourself against him again.
George tried to keep a respectable distance between you, pushing his hip backwards as you pushed yours forward, fighting the urge to get too close. That got you into an interesting position; you were leaning against the wall in between his arms with your shoulders as he leaned into you with his upper body. Your hand naughtily ran down his side, poking him. You knew you probably shouldn't touch him, but you couldn't stop yourself. His muscles strained as he let out a shaky breath.
"You're getting awfully close to me," he murmured, unable to bring himself to look you in the eye. His fingers slowly slid from their grip on the wall.
"Then don't push me away," you said back.
His face was just inches away now, and your lips unconsciously moved closer. The atmosphere between you two was thick with anticipation, a feeling that you currently relished in. Your lips were only a breath away from his when he spoke.
"We can't." his eyes locked with yours.
"Why?" you asked breathily.
"Because we're best friends." his voice was barely a whisper.
He hoped the reason he gave you would remind you of everything you asked from him that first time. But he didn't tell you that he feared you'd regret it when you sobered up, and that it would be his fault for not stopping it.
"And?" in the state that you were, did he really think that would stop you? He couldn't have been more wrong. You wanted to push him to feel something. Anything. "Best friends can do a lot of things." you smirked.
He clenched his jaw, his eyes still on yours. "No, they can't." he gritted, shaking his head.
"You're right." you said, the alcohol clouding your judgment. "They can't do this." and your hips finally met his.
He swallowed hard, trying to stay level headed. "What am I going to do with you?" he said in desperation, his hands pressed flat on the wall behind you, trying their best not to touch you as they dangerously started slipping down.
You placed your hands on his chest, feeling his heart hammering under your palms as you glided them down his torso. "Remember how you said you can read my body language?"
"Yeah," he breathed, nodding his head.
"What is it telling you now?" you whispered against his lips.
"It's telling me we're going to be in big trouble if you don't stop this," he replied. "You have no idea what you're doing to me right now."
"Then don't fight it. Show me." you murmured.
He leaned in, his lips brushing yours. Your arms snaked around his neck and fingers twined through the hair at its nape, pulling him closer. You couldn't believe that you had done all those other things, but never kissed. And when ultimately his mouth closed on yours, it was like finally locating the elusive jigsaw piece on a seemingly ordinary Tuesday while tidying up your home that you thought had been lost forever. It made you almost not want to kiss anyone else ever again — almost, because deep down you knew you shouldn't have been doing this in the first place.
His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as his head tilted to get a better angle. The kiss was soft, tentative, like both of you were very aware of what might happen. You pressed your mouth against his more firmly, tasting him. Parting your lips slightly, you felt the silky wetness of his tongue on yours. You bit his lower lip, letting out a deep moan when he groaned in response, hands that were in his hair tugging on the strands slightly. He groaned into your mouth again, pulling you even closer against him. You had no idea how long you were kissing, but it was definitely not enough.
The kiss broke, and you leaned your face against his neck, panting heavily. He glanced down at you, his lips so close to yours that if you had merely lifted your head, they'd be touching again. The warmth emanating from your body made him want to do things he knew he shouldn’t. He placed his forehead against yours, trying desperately to get control of himself.
"We should get back." he said between breaths. Your head was spinning from the alcohol and his scent and the magical kiss, it took you a moment to realize you were no longer kissing him. You opened your eyes and met with him.
"We should, before they realize we're missing." you nodded. He frowned, but his eyes were smiling. He was relieved, but he was also worried for you and what tomorrow might bring when you sobered up.
"Lets go," he said, turning around, but kept an arm around your waist so as to not let you get lost. You looped one arm around his neck, holding onto his shoulder, and gently hit his other shoulder with your head.
The night was still young and the party was still going. Music was playing, people were dancing, and laughter filled the room. Your friends cheered when they saw you two come in together, but neither of you paid any attention to them; all that mattered was that you were here, with him. Guys grabbed drinks for the both of you from different parts of the room and put it in your hands.
You found a spot on the couch and George sat next to you, his arm around your waist protectively. The conversations flowed easily between you two, and soon enough you both forgot what had happened earlier as you joined the rest of the group in drinking, singing along with music and laughing.
He later found you on the dance floor swaying around completely out of rhythm with a drink in your hand. Your face lit up when you saw him.
"There you are, my champion." you leaned into him, dropping your head onto his shoulder.
"I won the race, not the championship.” he chuckled.
“Mm, don’t care. To me you are the champion.” you slurred, pouting.
“Hey, is everything alright?" he asked, supporting you.
"Mmhmm." you mumbled. "I'm fine."
"You're not fine." you could hear the frown on his face. "You're drunk." he spat as he attempted to take away the half empty glass from your grasp.
"I'm not." you said, feeling yourself lose your balance a little as you swayed back and forth. He put his arm around you to help you balance.
"Yes, you are. I should've taken you home the first time around." he sighed, somehow not surprised you managed to get even drunker. You were both intoxicated for that matter, it's just that George knew how to hold his liquor. And he looked to never go over his limit in case something like this happened.
"No." you tried to pull away from him.
"I'm taking you home." he tightened his grip around you, leading you out of the party. You mumbled something in response, not quite sure what you were saying.
He helped you into his car and buckled your seat belt for you, before getting in himself. He drove slowly, carefully navigating the roads while you were almost passed out in his passenger seat. Every now and then he'd take a hand off the wheel to reach over and brush your hair away from your face or wipe away a stray tear from your cheek if one escaped your eye. As he turned into your street and parked the car, your eyes fluttered open.
"Um, could you walk me to the door?" you asked.
"I was planning on it," he said, unbuckling his seat belt.
Both of your arms wrapped around his left one, holding on for support, as he walked you to your apartment. Your little nap helped clear the haze from your head, but you were still tipsy. When you reached the entrance of your flat, you propped yourself against the door and blinked up at him.
"Do you want to come inside?" inviting your best friend into your home have never before seemed more dangerous and George should've known better than to say yes.
"Do you want anything to drink?" you asked to break an awkward silence that fell among you the moment he shut the door.
Before even waiting for his answer, you made your way towards the kitchen, but he extended his arm and grabbed your waist, preventing you from moving further.
"I think we both had enough to drink tonight," he said.
"Then what do you want to do?" you whispered.
"I want to claim my prize." he must have had a few more drinks than usual at the club to summon up the courage for that sentiment.
You could feel your heart racing in your chest, the alcohol still fogging your mind but not enough to miss the implication of his words. You turned to face him, your eyes meeting his intense gaze. His hand still rested on your waist, his fingers tracing small circles over the fabric of your dress.
"Is that what I am, a prize?"
"No, no." he said quickly, his eyes softening. "You're so much more than that, you know that." his hand cupped the side of your face. "When I saw you looking up at me on the podium today, I realized I couldn't have done it without you. You were the one who had been cheering me on from the sidelines all this time. You've been there for me when no one else was." he leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "You've been my lucky charm all these years and I want to show you how much you mean to me."
The way he was looking at you made your chest heave with a mixture of emotions. You were both under the influence, and you knew this was not the best time to make decisions, but you couldn't resist him. You leaned in and attached your lips together again, only this time with more passion, more desire. You could feel his hands running through your hair as he kissed you back, his tongue playing with yours, his body pressing against yours.
He pulled away, looking at you with a hunger you had never seen before. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
You nodded, unable to say anything. His lips crashed onto yours, hungrily claiming your mouth as his own. Your body responded to his touch, your hands roaming over his chest and tangling in his hair. He lifted you up, your legs locking around his waist as he carried you to the bedroom.
He laid you down gently on the mattress, his eyes never leaving yours. Climbing on top of you, his lips trailed kisses down your neck and collarbone. You moaned softly, your hands gripping tightly onto his muscular back. He pulled his lips away from you, looking into your eyes.
"Are you sure?" he asked again.
You nodded, reaching up and pulling him back down. He gently kissed you again and you responded in kind, but he pulled away again.
"I'll stop if you tell me to." he whispered. "I don't want to do this unless you want to." 
"I want to." you murmured. The alcohol may have distorted your judgment, but it surely helped your courage.
"Are you sure?" he asked a third time. You laughed softly, trying to push him off. He had you pinned to the mattress, still pressing you down.
"Yes, I'm sure." you said, no longer laughing.
That was all he needed to hear. He kissed you hard, his fingers lightly tracing over the fabric of your dress. He ran his hands underneath, gently resting them on your ribs, and pulled your dress upwards. You lifted your hands above your head, freeing him of the task of removing your dress as you squiggled out of it and freed yourself from the restriction that was your dress.
He kissed you again, letting his hands run over your bare skin. His lips kissed down your throat and chest, his hands undoing your bra. He pulled it away and tossed it aside, taking in the sight of you.
"You're beautiful, you know that?" he said. You blushed, and he smiled. His lips traveled down your leg, gently caressing the outside of your thigh. "But I'm a little jealous, you know?" his lips traveled back up, his tongue tracing over the slope of your breast and hands kneading them softly. "You got to taste me, and I..."
He kissed his way down your body, his hands going over every inch of exposed skin, reminding you how skillfully he handled you that very first time. He reached your inner thigh and slid his hand underneath your underwear. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt his fingers brush against you before a long finger slid inside you. You moaned loudly, spreading your legs apart for him. He smiled against your neck, his teeth taking in your skin, his tongue leaving a trail of fire behind.
His finger slowly moved inside you, circling you before sliding in and out. His hand pulled your underwear down, you kicking them off to the side. His mouth moved down your figure, hovering over your breasts. He teased you for a moment, blowing against your nipples before drawing the tip of his tongue over one. He did the same with the other, his fingers never ceasing to move. His kisses continued further down, over your stomach until they reached your mound.
"Can I?" he asked, peeking at you.
"Please..." you tried to hide the shake in your voice.
His tongue slid between your lips, gently licking you. You could feel his breath, hot and heavy against your sensitive skin. He teased you, his tongue circling your clit before sliding inside you. His tongue flicked over your clit, his hands holding your thighs apart. You spread your legs even wider, your body arching up to him. He leaned in, gently sucking on your clit and you moaned loudly, his tongue moving faster. You cried out in pleasure, your hips bucking against his face.
You were nearing your end, your moans growing louder with every movement of his tongue. You could feel his lips smile against your skin, enjoying the sounds you were making. You cried out, your body tensing as you came, shaking against him. He pulled away, slowly kissing his way up to the top again. He placed a gentle kiss on your lips, not hurrying you up as you sucked in his bottom lip, squeezing out your own juices.
"Taking that trophy is the second best thing that has ever happened to me." he whispered. He kissed you again, this time with more passion, your hands reaching for the buttons of his shirt. "The first, of course, being you. You're my greatest reward." he continued as you trailed kisses down his neck, removing the shirt off his shoulders.
"Stop talking, George."
"Sorry," he whispered as he closed his eyes, surrendering above you.
You kissed his chest, your nails raking up and down his sides, feeling his muscles tense. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, and could sense the urgency in his touch. His hardness pressed against you, begging to be liberated. You pulled away from him, reaching for his belt buckle and his eyes shot open, hands reaching for yours.
"Are you sure?" he asked again. He knew if you go any further there would be no going back and some irreversible things would be done.
"Are you sure?" you asked back, smiling mischievously. "I thought this is what you wanted." your nail dangerously circled around his lower abdomen, causing his breath to hitch with every word he spoke.
"I-I do. I'm just making sure you're not doing it just because I want it." you could tell he was really struggling to hold himself back.
"I think we've already established that..." you whispered against his lips and prompted your body more to his.
"Okay," his hand moved away from yours, and you undid his belt.
His pants fell around his feet and he kicked them off. His boxers were the last thing left, and you reached for them, slowly pulling them down. His hand held the back of your head as he kissed you, his tongue twirling around yours. You moved to pull away but he held on tighter.
His boxers hit the floor and you looked up at him, his hands resting on your frame. Gently taking your hand, he placed it on his dick. You gasped, feeling it grow even more underneath your touch. He pulled away, his lips planting kisses down your neck as his hand guided yours up and down his length. You felt him shiver as you grazed the tip with your nails, his breath hitching. He removed his hand, and your eyes shot open when you felt his tip brush against your entrance.
He teased you, running it up and down your slit. You threw your head back in pleasure, your back arching against him. The more he prolonged what you needed the most, the more your neediness grew. You tried to guide him inside you but he resisted, placing a finger on your lips instead. He dragged it over them before he made you suck on it, his eyes never leaving your face as he blew a stream of air out. Your eyes widened when you felt his head brush against you again, making you gasp audibly, his name falling from your lips.
"Please," you remembered what he told you the first time he had you in his arms like this. "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please..." you chanted over and over again.
"Fuck," he hissed under his breath. Hearing you beg for him made his head spin again. It was like you'd put him under a spell every time you'd utter that word and he'd not be able to deny you anything. Not that he ever wanted.
He slowly pushed inside of you, stopping at every inch to wait for you to adjust. "Are you okay?" he whispered.
You nodded, your breath hitching as he began to move again. He kissed you, your nails digging into his back as he stretched you more. He was so gentle, it was unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. This was not the normal rough, lustful sex. This was the man who loved the sight of you, the sounds of your pleasure. This was the man who wanted to make love to you, to show you what true pleasure was.
Your fingers sank into his back again, and he responded by thrusting into you harder, your moans getting louder. His lips traveled down your chest, his tongue flicking a nipple as he pushed into you again.
"Oh, god." you moaned, George's name falling from your mouth repeatedly. Your hands dug into the sheets as his thrusts grew harder, deeper.
"You feel so good... so damn good," he kissed your skin. "Making me feel like I don't ever want to take anybody else again."
"Don't stop, please, whatever it is that you're doing, please, just don't stop." you cried, twining your legs around him to press him deeper.
He moaned in pleasure when you did, his hands tightening their grip around you. His breathing grew heavier and faster, your bodies reacting to each other. He was so close, and he could feel you held right on the edge.
You cried out his name, your form shuddering under him. He had no intention of stopping, and he continued his movements as you kept shaking, your voice loud enough to wake up the whole apartment complex.
"You, George, only you…" you whispered into his ear as you were coming down.
You felt his whole build shake, his cock pulsing inside of you, but it wasn't enough. You wanted to hear him as he climaxed. You wanted to hear the sounds he made, the sweetest song in the world.
"George… George…" you panted, your breathing coming out in jagged breaths.
He cursed, as his body trembled with pleasure. His hands tightened around you, pulling you closer as he came. You buried your face in his neck, your fingers playing with his hair. He kissed you, holding you close to him. He wanted to stay inside you forever, to feel the sight of your face as he pleased you. You did that to him. You were the one making him see another reality where only he and you existed.
But he pulled away, your eyes searching for his as you slowly came back to reality. He kissed you again, his lips landing on yours.
"That was amazing… you were amazing…" he whispered, stroking your face gently.
"So were you." you said back, playing with the bangs that fell over his forehead.
He rested his head on your chest, finding a comfortable spot, your hands moving into his hair.
"Are you going to stay?" you whispered, uncertain.
"Only if you want me to."
"Always."
He hugged you tightly and rolled over so that you were now on top of him. His fingers softly ran along your back as your body let go and fully relaxed. The peaceful sound of your heartbeats and his breath seemed to take over the room. You drew near to him, feeling the up and down movements of his chest gently rock you to sleep, matters of your friendship left for tomorrow's morning news.
Next part
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raccooncityriots · 2 years
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The paranoia of people mistakenly thinking I am emotionally spiraling is making me emotionally spiral help please
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hellenhighwater · 2 months
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You mentioned emotional stability, which I get, but it made me think of the meme about ‘how do you not cry when people yell at you’ and I’m wondering both: whether there’s as much yelling in law as in tv, and whether you’ve ever cried while doing law
Nowhere near as much yelling as TV!
The only people I've ever had yell at me are non-attorneys who are representing themselves and who do not understand how this whole system works, and generally speaking...they're not in a position where their yelling is hurtful? Every time it's happened it's been more like a person throwing a tantrum, and I just...can't take that seriously. No one I actually work with (or opposing counsel) has ever managed to yell at me. I have cut off a couple people who were working themselves in that direction and redirected things back to being civil.
Frankly: I will not put up with that shit.
The list of people who are allowed to yell at you in a professional setting is very, very short, and the circumstances where that is appropriate are few and far between. It does happen in some workplaces but that's a question of office culture and individual shitty temper. My boss would never yell at me--it's unprofessional--and if he did he'd have my resignation on his desk by the end of the day. Opposing counsel is not entitled to yell at me; I am their professional peer and I don't have to put up with it outside the courtroom, and if it's inside a courtroom, the judge is likely to shut that down.
We're lawyers. In this profession, it's widely seen that losing your temper is a sign that you have lost your professional regulation and it discredits your argument. That's true in and out of the courtroom.
I have come near tears in court, but mostly because if I hit a certain point of rage I will tear up. Twice, I've had a judge hand down a ruling so wildly unjust and unexpected that it threw me off balance and into immediate fury, but I've always been able to keep it together and carry on without actually crying.
Mostly the practice of law is just not that personal. Even if someone is yelling, it's not at me as an individual. I don't make the laws, I don't decide the facts, I just take these things and lay them out. If someone's mad, it's not usually a personal attack. And you learn to deal with and understand that kind of anger--often frustration--as you go.
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How would each character react if you slapped them + feyd. Love the dune 2 scene
I loved that scene as well. Chani is my girlfriend in my mind now
A lot of these got sexual so sorry if that isn't what you meant.
Paul
You were fighting about him letting the power get to his head. His mother had burrowed her ideas so far down you barely recognized Paul.
You were ready to leave and never return and he wanted to stop you so he used the voice on you. You both froze and then Paul is in front of you apologizing and you slap him. Once, twice, and then a third time.
He knows he deserved it and begs you to hit him again and again until you forgive him. Of course, the more you hit him and the more he takes it the more turned on you both become until you shove him to the ground tearing his clothes off and riding his cock.
Feyd
Feyd is being well Feyd. He's cocky and bragging about how anyone would be lucky to have him the way you do. And goes on and on about all the people he slept with. And he started to rank them.
You are mostly ignoring him, used to his self-pissing contest until he mentioned the name of someone close to you. and when you asked him just when he slept with them and he mentioned recently you slapped him. So hard his head turns. He chuckles and slowly turns to stare at you. "So you want to do that again?" It's a threat, partly playful and partly serious.
And you go to do it again, but he catches your wrist, twisting it behind your body and pressing you against the wall. "Fuck you fire turns me on."
"Fuck you," you said in anger. Which is the wrong thing since he is already pulling your dress up your hips and ripping your underwear down. "With pleasure. You know you outrank them all," he tells you as he thrusts into you in one go.
"I better be."
Laurie
Laurie is shocked, upset, and confused. He doesn't know what part of his words upset you but an apology is already on his tongue. "I'm sorry. Goodness, I'm sorry. Forgive me, my love."
You are still mad and your hand aches but so does your heart when you see the red mark on his face and the tears in his eyes. "I shouldn't have hit you," you said. "I am sorry."
He doesn't care because he knows if you hit him it is for good reason. He just takes you into his arms and mumbles apologies and forgiveness in your neck.
Hal
"Oh, I had no idea we were playing games today," he would say with a smirk, grabbing your wrist and pulling you until you crashed into his chest. "Is it my turn to spank you now?" The fight was long forgotten as his cock hardened in his pants.
"I'm mad at you. let me go," you say struggling against him but he doesn't let go just smirks down at you and swats your behind. "Your turn, slap me again." He would order.
Lee
He's stunned and turned on. He touches his cheek to make sure that actually happened. "Umm, I know you are upset, but I have never been harder in my life," he would blurt out. Killing all the anger in the room.
Wonka
It's during sex with you riding his cock and him moaning so prettily. He is flushed a beautiful shade of pink but you have the desire to see him red and without thinking you hit him.
You froze and are apologizing profusely. He, of course, hears none of it as he is taking in what happened and then he is throwing his head back moaning louder than ever between and cumming inside of you. "Again. Again. Again," he would beg.
Kyle
He nodded as he chuckled. He would be more surprised if you didn't hit him. "That's fair, really fucking fair," he would say before turning back to you. "Do you feel better, kitten?" He would ask grabbing your waist.
You would pout and look away from him but don't fight his hold. Kyle laughs again and pinches your waist causing you to yip. "You can hit me and ignore me. If we are getting physical at least let me your angry eyes. Do you want to hit me again. I'll let you. Just know that I will get a turn after, but you'll need to get across my lap for it."
"I hate you," you mumbled.
"I love you too," he replied.
Elio
Tears. There is nothing but tears when you hit Elio. He is hard and pressed against a tree, moaning too loudly to not get caught so you hit him and don't hold back. You know he likes the pain even if he doesn't admit it.
He moaned and sobbed you would hit him again but it doesn't help. Not until you have to take off your underwear and push it into his mouth, but his eyes are still begging to get hit again.
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lovelyverosika · 3 months
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The winner takes it all…the loser has to fall
Hazbin Hotel! Adam x Fem!reader
Part 2 —> Part 1
Warnings: suicide & death
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A/N: I wanted to say thank you for all the love on my first fanfic<3 Tbh I never planned a part two since I didn’t expect people to actually enjoy it and I lack of motivation but the support changed it. Also I finished it earlier than expected :) As before I’m sorry for any grammar mistakes. I hope you enjoy it!
3rd POV
All eyes on her, that was the situation she found herself in now. Under normal circumstances she would feel extremely happy. Getting noticed and seen has always been her dream but this was more a nightmare than a dream. Looks of confusion and hatred hit her as soon as she looked around. Humiliation was what she was feeling right now, a feeling she knew very well.
She didn’t even dare to look behind her, scared to face her husband and his reaction but she could feel Lutes stare full of hatred piercing through her body as if she was a sinner on Extermination day. Ironic isn’t it? Back then in hell this day filled her with pure despair. All that blood and screams made her cry every year. Y/N hated her days in hell even more than her days when she was alive. She got out of her trance as she heard Monika laughing from above her. As she looked up she found herself in a familiar situation:
Kneeling on the floor with tears streaming down her cheeks while someone looked down at her. Monika snipped with her fingers,making a picture of Y/N appear. Instead of the optimistic angel shining with happiness everyone could see a demon full of tiredness and sadness in her eyes. "You might wonder how I found out..well for those who knew her from her living days it isn’t rocket science that she killed herself. And we all know suicide is a sin.", Monika laughed as she looks down at Y/N and then at the other angels ,which whisper to each other in the courtroom. Y/N didn’t even noticed that Emily was hugging her,she was too lost in her own mind.
-Flashback-
Y/N was someone people would call a "trophy child", polite,smart and full of happiness,that changed as soon as she hit puberty. She started seeing imperfections she never noticed before, things she loved got boring and her grades were falling. In other words she burned out and lost motivation for basically everything. The only thing she didn’t gave up was dancing, for years she worked really hard for her dream to come true. She wanted to be a star, who can make people happy with her performances and be admired.
At the age of 21 she was faced with the fact that hard work is nothing compared to natural talent. The first time in 6 years she was supposed to be the main star of the show. But that would’ve been too good to be true. On the day of her performance they told her, they founded someone better…a natural talented girl named Monika. She was beautiful like a swan but her personality was rotten..wasted potential in Y/N’s eyes.
"Not everyone is born to be a star.", Monika said while looking down at the woman, who kneeled before her obviously crying. Blinded by rage and envy Y/N interrupted Monikas show,dancing with elegance and grace while Monika acted as if it’s supposed to be happen.
Y/N smiled at the audience as she continued to dance,. "Thank you all so much for your support but I am afraid that was my last show", she spoke as tears run down her cheeks. She thought about it often..just quitting everything including her life. She’s been working so hard her whole life for nothing. It was no secret that she had a fragil heart, being sensitive made her life twice as hard as it was. She couldn’t take it anymore, so she threw the axe she hid into the air right above her. She wanted to leave with an impact no one will forget. Her last words were "Thank you" as the axe hits her as she bowed.
Everyone was shocked especially Monika who stood next to her now lifeless body. Tragic isn’t it? But at least she had the impact she wanted happening,right? She was now know as "The dying swan".
It was too late when she realised that suicide wasn’t and never be the solution and that she wasted her previous life.
With her soul tainted by envy and sin she found herself now in Hell, a place ten times worse than earth.
It was hard but she survived, she found friends who shared a similar fate. Together they helped demons in need for 3 years. On the 4th yearly extermination everything changed. Y/N loved her friends dearly, so seeing one of her friends nearly getting killed by an angel made her act without thinking. Wanting her friend to live she threw herself in front of them. It was painful as the spear pierced right through her heart but it was worth it, after all she protected her friend, didn’t she?
With a smile on her face she made peace with the fact that she’ll die for a second time. What she didn’t expect was that she found herself waking up again, this time in heaven.
It wasn’t long until she befriended a seraphim called Emily, she was such a bundle of joy, which made Y/N feel better in no time.
How she caught the eye of the first man on earth and soul in heaven was a mystery to her but what she knew was that she despised him. He was cocky, rude and so full of himself and the sugar on the cream were the nicknames he gave her…"mini tits" and "sugar tits".
Because of their work they spent more time together and got to know each other. She got used to his antics and behaviour and started to enjoy his company, compared to others he was very nice and respectful to her. It wasn’t long until she fell in love with him. She realised it for the first time when he was actually starting to respect women in general. Respect for women was very important to her and seeing people change for the better out of their own will was something she cherished.
One year later, they started dating and Adam was surprisingly loyal and clingy,she didn’t mind it one bit. He brought light into her small and pathetic life and she cleansed him like a waterfall. All her anger, sadness disappeared while he was not used to all this love. Everyone in heaven knew they were totally smitten with each other. After another year she married him and they lived a happy life in heaven until now.
-Flashback ends-
Y/N buried her head onto Emily’s chest, not wanting to be seen in such a state. Everything was blurry and the voices muffled, all she could hear was her own heart beat loud and clear.
Adam didn’t know what to feel, his wife used to be a demon. Was he supposed to be angry, sad or disappointed, he didn’t know. She promised him to stay with him forever, she promised not to leave him like Lilith and Eve did. He knew that weren’t sweet lies, she was the first one to actually accept him as a whole, so why shouldn’t he accept her either. Sinner or not she was still his sweet and loving wife. The last thing Y/N saw before fainting was Adam standing in front of Monika.
Part 3
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buckyalpine · 2 years
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I was thinking about pregnant reader and bucky and I saw you wrote something already😂😅
I saw few posts where everyone finds out reader is pregnant before bucky and it honestly makes me angry 😒 it just irritates me. It's always they take one look at the reader and they all know. I just want at least once that bucky finds out first. Like if yn and Bucky were laying down and she asked bucky for some treats that she hid under the bed that she was craving (ofc bucky was on top of her😉) so he gets them and he starts thinking and goes to ask her like what she was craving, her boobs got bigger and what else happens... so in a few days while yn was sleeping he hears a heartbeat and so he gets a little but scared but no running! He starts talking to it and one day while they were cooking together, he asked yn what she thinks about getting married, moving in together babies etc. Maybe she has irregular period so she doesnt even notices (I usually skip few months even a year so ik I wouldn't notice if I got preggo 😂) so he tells her that she is pregnant and he can hear the heart beat so it goes to the tears and blah happy stuff. And when it gets to the dinner with avengers few weeks later she refuses cocktails and vine and when someone asks she is like well I AM pregnant and takes off her jacket just to see a small bump in a tight dress.
Prettyyyyy please with a cherry on top with whipped cream and a side dish to make this happen 🥺🙏🙏 I can even beg on my knees for this if you want
Babes, you do not have to beg when you come up with asks that speak to my weaknesses. Fuck, I love this so much, my whole heart YES.
18+ Minors dni  "Buck"
"Bucckyyyyyy"
"Buchanan!"
Bucky snorted, pulling away from where he was kissing your neck, your pouty face looking back at him.
"Can you pleeease get the chocolate covered pretzels I hid under the bed" You smiled sheepishly. It wasn't a secret you had a little stash of snacks hidden in various parts of the room. Bucky discovered that when he went to grab his Henley from the closet and found a bag of m&ms tucked away between his clothes.
"Really baby? Right now?" He playfully rolled his eyes, ignoring how hard he was, reaching over and pulling the bag out, watching your face light up, giving him grabby hands.
"Can't help it, I've been craving sweet and salty stuff all day"
"I'll give you something sweet and salty" Bucky wiggled his eyebrows while you smacked his arm, grabbing a pretzel and moaning at the taste.
"Perv"
"Never thought I'd have competition with a pretzel"
"Chocolate covered pretzel" You corrected, your eyes nearly rolling back, practically whining a the way the chocolate melted. He looked at you quizzically, he'd seen you have cravings before but never this strongly. He wasn't at all jealous a stupid sweet and salty snack craving had cut into his spicy cuddle time with you.
"What else have you been craving baby?"
You thought for a moment, naming a foot long list of colorful combinations and a disturbing amount of chocolate. Some of the foods you didn't even usually like...
You hummed contently after satisfying your craving, giving your attention back to Bucky. He gave you a devilish smirk, pinning you down on the bed, his boner against your panties.
"I'll give you something to actually moan about baby"
3 orgasms later 
You snored softly cuddled against Bucky's body, his arm wrapping tightly around you. He pulled you closer to him, his hand snaking up to cup your boob, his favorite way to fall asleep. They felt...fuller. Bucky gave your breast a soft squish, careful not to wake you. He had your boobs in his hands, his mouth, face face at least twice a day, they were definitely a little fuller. In fact, they’d felt a little fuller for quite some time. Hm. 
Over the next two weeks your cravings hadn’t ceased. He’d quietly restocked all your little stashes without telling you, noticing tiny changes in your regular routines. You slept a little more. You were a little more clingy (which he loved, carrying his little koala everywhere). You didn’t seem to notice anything, nor did anyone else but Bucky did. And he had an idea of what it could be. 
You were fast asleep, curled up in bed in nothing but one of Bucky’s t-shirts, while he gazed down at your tummy. It had to be it, right? He carefully shuffled down, gently lifting your shirt, glancing up at you to make sure you were still asleep. 
When he concentrated, Bucky was able to hyper focus on his sense of hearing, courtesy of the serum and all his assassin training. These were one of the few moments he was thankful for it. He laid his head on your belly, hearing the teensiest faint heart beat that he’d never heard before. He wasn’t a doctor but it all added up. Your cravings. The ever so slight softness of your body. How your boobs were fuller. Bucky’s heart and mind raced at the same time. Would he be a good father? Would his baby love him? He’d dreamt of this moment before but now it was actually happening. 
"I know your in there" He whispers, narrowing his eyes at your belly. “Mommy might not even know yet, but I do” Bucky’s eyes flick up to you when you stir slightly, but remain asleep. “We’ll talk later, mama needs her rest” 
Bucky carefully pressed a soft kiss to your belly before coming up and holding you again, his heart fluttering because even though he was a little scared, this was everything he ever wanted.
It became a regular occurrence. Bucky always made sure you were fast asleep before laying his head on your tummy, quietly talking to the little peanut in your belly. 
“Do you care to explain why you make mommy crave ice cream at 3AM” Bucky whispered, rubbing his tired eyes after getting you some Ben and Jerry’s in the middle of the night. You’d fallen asleep immediately after, a content smile on your face. 
A number of conversations had taken place that month. 
“Mama doesn’t need chocolate covered oreos”
“Do you have daddy’s super hearing? I hope so, other wise I’m talking to myself” 
“I understand the ice cream, but the potato chip sandwich was a little weird today, don’t you think?”
“You’re going to be chunky, mommy going to keep you more than well fed” 
The entire month, Bucky couldn’t peel his eyes off you, your boobs were a little more plump and they were only going to get bigger. His cock got hard thinking about how gorgeous you’d look, pretty full breasts, your little one drinking from you....
Him drinking from you.      
“She’ll keep me well fed too” 
*****
“Y/n?” Bucky’s arms wrapped around your tummy, his head resting on your shoulder while you stirred some pasta, “What do you think about getting married?” 
“Hmm, I’d say if someone asked me” You giggled, pecking a kiss to Bucky’s nose, not noticing him nervously shuffling behind you, completely abandoning the garlic bread he was making. 
“Would you want to move in with me? Permanently?” 
“I already basically live with you Bucky, but it’d make it easier if I moved all my stuff over. Might as well” 
“W-what about having babies?” 
“I’ve always wanted to have two” You smiled to yourself, thinking about your dream family with little Bucky’s running around. 
“With me?” He whispered, a part of him worried you wouldn’t want that with him, given his past. You put the spoon down, turning to look at him while he bit his lip nervously. Your hand cradled his face, tracing over his scruffy beard. 
“Of course with you Bucky, why would you doubt that?”
“Are you sure?” 
You nodded, looking at Bucky curiously while his heart raced, he’d never asked you these questions before but you figured he should have already known the answer would have been yes. 
“Why are you asking me all this baby?” 
“Because...” Bucky hesitated, while you looked up at him, urging for him to continue. “You’re pregnant baby” 
“H-how do you know” You whispered, your heart racing, melting into Bucky’s arms while he held you close to him. You didn’t have your period for a while but you figured it was just coming later than usual. 
“I can hear the babies heart beat. When its really quiet, usually when you’re asleep” 
Your breath hitched in your throat while Bucky kneeled in front of you, kissing your tummy, tears streaming down both your faces. 
“I’m pregnant?” 
Bucky nodded, standing again so he could cradling your body close to his, kissing you all over. You wrapped your arms tightly around him, your heart full. 
“You’re pregnant angel, my sweet baby”
A few weeks later 
“C’mon, are you sure you don’t want any?” Nat smirked, taking a sip from her wine. You’d just arrived after your date with Bucky, the both of you joining the team for dinner afterwards. You shook your head, while Bucky smiled, kissing your temple.  
“I can make you a cocktail” Tony suggested, but you shook your head again. 
“Why not” Wanda pouted but you giggled, bouncing on your feet, clinging onto Bucky’s hand. The team eyed you both curiously while you took of your jacket, a series of screams and cries erupting seeing your little baby bump under your dress. 
“Cause I’m pregnant” 
Bucky grinned, his hands cradling your tiny bump while everyone enveloped you both in a giant hug. 
“I call God father!” 
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pupkashi · 4 months
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to love is to linger
a/n: i read this in a tiktok comment and i burst into tears, love is such a beautiful thing and i hope every single one u gets to experience this kind of love bc u absolutely deserve it <3
wordcount: 825
masterlist
if there’s anything satoru hates more than being away from you, it’s leaving your home after spending time with you. he can’t help the way his stomach drops and the frown that settles on his lips, the slump in his shoulders and the sparkle that seems to die in his eyes.
“i cant find my keys! guess I’ll have to stay the night” he smiles, already pulling you into his embrace, you don’t resist, not wanting him to go either.
“we both know you already hid them in your jacket pocket, lover” you smile, eyes fluttering shut and melting into his chest a bit, breathing in deeply before pulling away.
satoru is quick to keep you firm in his grasp, pulling you slightly so you wouldn’t move too far from him. “maybe i can help you clean up a bit more? didn’t you wanna sweep?” he asks, hope glittering in his eyes as you look at him with an incredulous smile.
it’s a beat of silence before you place your hands on his chest, pat twice and sigh, “okay yeah, stay for a bit more and help me clean up.”
there’s a giant smile on satoru’s face as the words leave your lips. he’s bounding over to you like an excited puppy, sweeping you off your feet and twirling you around, placing a sloppy kiss on your cheek before setting you down.
“should we put some music on?”
this seems to happen every time satoru had to leave, starting up a conversation just as he was about to reach for his car keys, stringing you along until you’d tell him to sit on the couch again, he could spare 30 minutes right?
there was countless times where he was already out the door, saying goodbye when he’d turn on his heel, eyes wide as he proclaimed, “oh my god i almost forgot to tell you!” before dropping the juiciest gossip known to man.
“are you serious? wait come inside we have to unpack all of this” you’d immediately say, ushering him back in and preparing some coffee or hot chocolate for the two of you.
it would work every time, satoru would practically skip back into your home, snuggling into the couch he’d grown fond of as you began to talk again.
he’d do everything in his power to linger around, even when he’d eventually stay the night with you, having to say goodbye in the early hours of the morning.
“i could stay and make breakfast,” he’d suggest softly, the sun on barely making its way into the sky, the moon bidding the world goodbye.
“toru it’s 6 am,” you mumble, “you’ve been late enough this week,” eyes closing already as you feel your body giving into the clutches of sleep.
satoru pouts, he knows you’re right but doesn’t care that much. “what’re they gonna do? fire me? kill me?” he chuckles at the thought of them trying, kissing your forehead as you open your eyes just to scowl at him. “alright, fine I’ll go, just say you hate me,” he sighs dramatically.
you smile a bit, “cmere,” you mumble, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him in closer to you. satoru wastes no time in plopping himself back into bed, cuddling up to your side. he lets himself relax in your arms, sighing and closing his eyes, not moving for another 10 minutes before he decides he actually does have to get to Jujutsu tech.
“I’ll see you tonight?” he asks, stretching as he stares at you, cozy as ever in the warm blanket he’d bought you.
you nod your head, “and don’t be late, angel boy” you smile, blowing him a kiss as he walks out the bedroom door, catching it and bringing it close to his chest, smiling ear to ear until he’s closing your front door.
even when the two of you move in together, he still lingers as anytime he has to leave, roping you into a conversation, convincing you for just ‘five more minutes’ when your alarm goes off. he’s chasing after your kisses in the doorway, mumbling a quick ‘one more!’ before he’s grabbing you by the waist and deepening the kiss, smiling into it when you easily melt into his touch.
gojo satoru does everything in his power to linger around you when he has to leave. to him every second with you counts, every moment is fleeting and every minute without you seems a minute wasted.
it doesn’t go unnoticed by you, melting your heart when he makes up a blatantly obvious lie to spend even a mere second longer with you.
to love is to linger.
to spend every moment you can with those you love. to do anything in your power to lengthen the time you have with them. to love someone is to spend all day and night with them and dread the moment you have to leave their side.
taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @beautiful-is-boring @sweetheart-satoru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi
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Spilled Ink
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Pairing: Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike x f!reader
Word Count: 7.5k
Summary: Uhhh Marcus Pike as the world's softest tattoo artist that's it that's the fic.
Warnings: Lots of tattoo talk, obviously, which includes needles, tattoo guns, pain, mention of bleeding, etc.; reader is explicitly coded as neurodivergent because I said so; yearning; lots of kissing; Marcus Pike being a goddamn menace and he fucking knows it
A/N: @kedsandtubesocks made a post about Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike (original post HERE) and then I wrote 7.5k words in 12 hours, as one does. All credit for the idea goes to the amazing Erika who entrusted me with this idea and THANK GOD SHE DID because I don't think I could have gotten it out of my stupid brain otherwise. Header pics credit go to Erin @perotovar, who made these with Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike in mind and I'm just WOOFWOOFBARKBARKBARKBARKHOWL. Thanks also to @littlebirdsbookshelf who suffers through HOURS of me sending screenshots every time I write anything. Love you <3
Additional Note on Canon: I am pretending that we never got to see Marcus Pike in short sleeves in the show despite it happening twice. He has full sleeves on both his arms in this fic that he covered up during his time working at the FBI. Because sleeves are hot and I said so.
Masterlist
It’s not unusual, these days, to wander down the sidewalk staring at your phone. Some people are texting. Some people are reading the news–because hey, this is D.C. Others, like you on this brisk morning, are watching the little blue dot on a tiny representation of the city streets, trying to find the address you had typed into the search bar.
A text box pops up, informing you of your arrival, and you finally look up.
No wonder it took you so long to find the place–it’s hardly what you expected at all. You always picture tacky neon signs, bars on the windows, undesirables milling about on the street, smoking cigarettes.
Okay, so you admittedly don’t actually know much about tattoos.
All you know is that you want one–a fact you confessed to a friend over lunch the other week: a conversation that led you here.
“Okay, so get one,” she had said bluntly.
“It’s not all that simple,” you had protested. 
“Why?”
“It’s just… it seems like a lot. Mentally. Physically. I’m not sure I have what it takes.”
“They don’t hurt that bad,” your friend had insisted.
“I’m not just talking about that, I’m talking about… y’know, just everything. The noise. New people. Strangers touching me. It just doesn’t seem like something I’ll be able to do.”
“Oh. Ohhh. Because of the… yep. Actually I might have something for you,” she said, taking out her phone and scrolling through that app that drives you crazy–it’s overstimulation in a convenient package–full of noise, chaos, and flashing lights. 
She must have seen you pull a face, because she held out her hand placatingly. 
“Just finding the name of the place, hang on. It’s a shop right here in DC that went ‘viral’ for this video of a guy with autism who wanted a tattoo to commemorate his dad, but he was only comfortable lying on the floor–so the tattoo artist just… got on the floor with him! It was really cute, and anyway I guess he caters to all sorts of people, so… I dunno. Check it out.”
And here you are. Checking it out.
The words “Government-Issued Ink” are spelled out on large windows, and the punny name–apt for its location not far from the Capitol–makes you snort. 
The shop is bright, warm, and inviting–tearing down your outdated preconceptions that tattoo places must always be run-down, dark, and dingy. It’s also empty this early in the morning, save for a lone figure in the back, seated at a well-worn desk, his head pitched forward over his work.
He’s so enveloped in whatever he’s sketching that he must not have heard the light ringing of the bell as you had entered. You watch him for a few moments–taking in the graceful movements of his hand and the way his fingers grasp the pen. He’s dressed in a plain blue button-down dress shirt, which also doesn’t fit your assumed archetype of ‘Tattoo Artist.’ You can’t see his face; his head is leaning forward too much and a few short locks of dark brown hair obscure your view.
Suddenly wondering if you’re being incredibly rude, staring at someone without announcing your presence, you open your mouth to introduce yourself.
“Um.”
While not exactly eloquent, it serves its purpose. The man startles and looks up in surprise.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, jumping to his feet and letting the pen clatter carelessly to the desk. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“That’s okay,” you shake your head rapidly. “I was, um…” You blink a few times, your nerves getting the better of you as the man comes around his desk to approach the front of the store.
“Interested in a walk-in consultation?” he offers, holding out his hands in a gesture that could either be an open invitation or a shrug.
“I don’t know,” you confess quietly. “I was thinking about getting, uh, a tattoo, and I was told this shop was… good. With tattoos. And other stuff.”
“Other stuff?” he chuckles, smiling warmly. 
“You know… with people who… might not be good at getting tattoos.”
“What makes you think you aren’t ‘good at getting tattoos?’”
“A hunch,” you shrug, expelling a little huff of laughter through your nose. “I was told to ask for a Marcus Pike?”
The man’s smile widens. “You’re looking at him.”
Oh. You aren’t sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. Marcus Pike is well-dressed and clean-cut, almost startlingly so. You scan up and down, looking for any sign that this man could possibly be a tattoo artist, but the only evidence you can find is a small black target inked between his thumb and forefinger on his right hand. Don’t… tattoo artists usually have more ink? Of course, with him almost completely covered from head to toe, you obviously can’t create a full picture of Marcus’s skin, but the fact that he wouldn’t look out of place in one of the nearby government buildings still takes you by surprise.
You realize you haven’t said anything in response, but Marcus doesn’t seem to be bothered by your deer-in-headlights stare. Instead, he grins again and steps sideways, extending his arm in a silent invitation to come deeper into the shop.
“Come on in. If you’d like, go ahead and sit wherever you want, and we can talk about it. No pressure,” he promises. “I’m not here to push ink on you like a used car salesman; I’m here to collaborate with you. Figure out what you really want. And, if what you want ends up being ‘nothing,’ I totally support that, too.”
There’s something innate and intrinsic about Marcus Pike that sets you completely at-ease. You cast your eyes around, taking in the eclectic seating in the shop–all mismatched, all different colors, styles, and shapes, but all looking incredibly comfortable and inviting. You settle on a giant turquoise beanbag that seems to swallow you whole when you sink down into it, and Marcus grins and sits down in the bright yellow saucer chair beside it. 
“So at the very least, you’re thinking about a tattoo,” Marcus leads. “Can you tell me about that?”
You nod, feeling encouraged by his openness. “Yeah, so… my mom, she passed away a couple of years ago, and it just seemed like I should… memorialize her in some way. Like, in a way that leaves its mark on me like she left a mark on me, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of getting some kind of permanent art that commemorates her.”
“That’s a great idea,” Marcus says softly. “Lots of people choose to do that after losing a loved one.”
“Yeah, the only problem is that I’m not good with um… noise, or people touching me, or… pain, really,” you confess. “I’m like, the worst candidate for getting a tattoo that exists.”
Marcus chuckles softly and shakes his head. “Personally, I don’t believe that. I think anyone can get a tattoo done if they want it, provided they get it done in a way that feels safe and comfortable.”
“My friend, she uh, recommended your shop because apparently you’ve done some stuff for people with autism and it went viral on TikTok…” you ramble, “and I thought maybe that meant you’d be a good fit for… for me.”
Understanding flickers in Marcus’s expression, and he nods, a small smile spreading across his face. “I hope so,” he says with quiet earnesty. 
A beat passes–just a few seconds of silence–but something small and soft and warm settles down between the two of you, and the comforting feeling sinks down into the pit of your stomach and stays there, latent and waiting.
“So, let’s talk design,” Marcus announces. “Do you have anything in mind? Any images or ideas, however vague? I can do anything from replicating designs to building something completely from scratch for you.”
“I like the idea of it being a unique piece,” you tell him.
“I prefer original designs too,” he says. “Not to sound incredibly cheesy, but there’s no one like you, you know? In–In the general sense, of course.” He chuckles sheepishly, looking down at his hands. “I like knowing each person that comes in here leaves with something unique. Something all their own—I’m rambling,” he says quickly, the tips of his ears turning slightly pink. “One thing about me is that I talk too much. Anyway–did you have any ideas you can share with me about what you’d like?”
“I don’t have a good image in my mind,” you confess anxiously. After all, how can he build a design based on the swirling, disjointed images in your brain? “I think I want it to be colorful, like she was. And… I keep getting thoughts about, I dunno, the cyclical nature of life, something corny like that.”
Marcus laughs. “Sometimes the corny stuff is what sticks with us. So, colorful and commenting on the cyclical nature of life,” he lists off on his fingers, still grinning. “Anything else?”
“I’ve looked through your galleries online,” you tell him. “You have a few that look like watercolor paintings, and I really love how they look.”
He nods thoughtfully. “I’m gonna throw out an idea—Feel free to tell me ‘no,’ because I’m just brainstorming here, but I keep thinking about a tree of life. The leaves could easily be done in watercolor and could be any combination of colors you want.” His right hand twitches–as if reaching for a phantom pen–as he speaks, and his gaze seems to be fixed on a spot on the wall, his eyes glimmering with enthusiasm as he starts to speak faster.
“You could have the leaves and the roots connecting on the sides, making a circle, maybe even having her birth date and death date embedded in the roots…” He blinks rapidly a few times, as if dispelling the image from his head. “Anyway. That’s a possibility.”
“I think that’s amazing,” you say softly, watching Marcus with something like amazement in your expression. “Actually… I really like that idea. It sounds… perfect.”
“Oh,” he intones softly, looking at you in surprise as a bright, toothy smile breaks across his face. “Oh. Well then, let’s do it, huh? One final question: where do you envision getting it?”
“I was thinking on my shoulder. Here,” you indicate, pressing your hand to the skin of your upper arm. “That way it’s visible when I want it to be, but easily hidden if for some reason it needs to be.”
“That’s perfect,” Marcus says. “Plus, the circular design will go really well there. Okay. Great. Um, some things to know about the process. We’ll exchange emails, and you can contact me at any time with any questions, concerns, ideas, changes, anything. In the meantime, I’ll get started on a design for you, and I’ll share initial sketches that you can give feedback on before I move to the final stages of the design. It’ll take a couple of weeks, maximum, depending on any changes you ask for. My only request is that you’re always honest with your feedback–don’t tell me you like something when you don’t. I promise, it won’t hurt my feelings.” He grins widely. “After that, you book an appointment on a day that works best for you. I almost always book the whole day for the appointment to factor in time for copious breaks and making sure you feel comfortable. Does that work for you?”
You nod eagerly.
“Last question,” Marcus says. “Is it okay if I get a close-up picture of your upper arm? That way I can make sure it fits the curvature of your arm, it’s the right size, stuff like that.”
“Mhmm,” you nod again, pressing your lips together and trying not to look nervous. Thank god you wore a sleeveless top under your sweater.
“Only if you’re comfortable,” he insists.
“No, no, it’s fine,” you say quickly, removing just the one arm from your outer layer and pulling it aside. 
You watch as Marcus grabs a little ‘point-and-shoot’ digital camera from his desk and comes back to your side.
“This is just used for design purposes,” he promises. “I delete them after the design is done.”
“I trust you.”
His resulting expression could light an entire room. “Thank you,” he answers quietly. “Okay. Super close-up, just your arm. Cool?”
“Cool,” you confirm, and you hear the camera click several times.
“Actually,” Marcus says, still staring thoughtfully at your bare shoulder. “Would it be okay if I made a couple of little marks–washable marker, of course–to make sure the dimensions are how you want them?”
Oh. You normally don’t like it when people touch you. You knew it was going to happen eventually, obviously, because how else was he going to get the design onto your skin? But it was something you had planned on working yourself up to, not something you had to do today. On the other hand, something about Marcus’s entire bearing makes you inexplicably ache to be touched by him. 
“‘No’ is an acceptable response,” he interrupts your dithering with a quiet reassurance.
And actually, that works to seal the deal for you, and your decision is made in an instant. 
“Yes. You can. That’s fine.” And, to your surprise, you mean it.
Marcus seems just as surprised at your answer–his eyebrows shoot upward almost comically at your response.
“Okay,” he says softly. “That’s perfect. Hang on.” He jumps up again to retrieve a black marker–from what was clearly a children’s set of washable markers. He meets your eyes, and again you take in that sincere, earnest, patient look that endeared you to this man from the moment you entered the little shop.
“Is it okay if I touch your arm?” he asks quietly, still watching you carefully as you nod.
“Tell me if that changes,” he murmurs, dropping his gaze to your shoulder again. His touch, when you feel it, is just as warm as you’d imagined. He’s gentle, cautious, and when he speaks again, his voice remains at that same, soft volume and tone. “I’m envisioning being from about here–” he makes a little black dot, “–to here. What do you think?” 
You nod. It’s the perfect size–large enough to cover your shoulder but stopping just above the point where the sleeve of a regular t-shirt would hit.
“That’s perfect.”
“Okay, so that’s–” he tsks softly, measuring the distance with his finger, “–about four inches, so that same distance across, and–” he makes two more marks on either side of your shoulder. “About like that. Is that okay?”
“Yes,” you answer, smiling with enthusiasm. 
“Great! Let me just…” Marcus draws a few short lines denoting the proposed boundary of your design, and you can’t help the soft giggle that escapes you at the cool tip of the marker on your skin. 
“Sorry,” he chuckles. “One more picture?”
At your nod, the camera clicks one last time. 
“Like I said, that’ll wash off with soap, no problem,” he promises with a smile. “Thanks for that, makes it easier to scale.” He grabs two business cards off his desk and hands them to you. “Can you write your email on this one for me? And you can keep the other one. Like I said, anything you need, just email me. And uh, barring that, you’ll be hearing from me in a week or so with a rough sketch. Okay?”
You scribble down your email and hand the card back to Marcus before pulling your sweater back over your bare arm. You slip the other card into your purse and rise to your feet. “Thanks,” you say, nodding to him.
“Hey, no–thank you,” Marcus returns. “Thanks for entrusting me with this. I mean it.”
Surprising yourself, you extend your hand toward him, and, when he takes it, you feel enveloped with warmth again.
“Thanks,” repeat, a little bit more breathlessly this time, before turning and hurrying out of the shop before you can embarrass yourself any further.
Your shoulder still tingles from his touch hours later.
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Rather than it being a week before you hear from him, you receive an email from Marcus Pike just three days later.
Subject: Initial Sketch
Hello,
Please see attached. It’s just pencil for now, but I made a note of the general blocks of color I was thinking for the leaves. You’ll see what I mean when you open the file. Sorry, I know it’s a pretty rough sketch, I was just excited to get this to you. I look forward to your feedback!
Best regards,
Marcus :) 
Eagerly, you open the attachment. First of all, there’s nothing “rough” about the sketch other than the fact that it’s just penciled in. The details are already so intricate, and you find yourself smiling in amazement as you take in the design.
It’s beautiful.
Brackets, each labeled with a different color in Marcus’s neat, tidy handwriting, surround the top of the tree. Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Violet. 
At the bottom of the image is another handwritten note: *All the colors will blend together and the result should look like a rainbow.
Tears spring, unbidden, to your eyes, as you feverishly type out your response.
Subject: Re: Initial Sketch
Marcus,
I really don’t know what to say other than it’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect. Made me tear up. Look forward to seeing it in color.
Thanks again!
Not even five minutes go by before your phone vibrates with another email.
Subject: Re: Re: Initial Sketch
I’m sorry if I made you cry! Obviously wasn’t my intention but I’m glad the design evokes emotion :) I’ll move forward with the design as-is and you should hear from me soon with a full-color image.
Marcus :) 
You can’t wait. The next week and a half stretches out excruciatingly, but finally, on a Wednesday evening, you receive another email. 
Subject: Final Design
Hey there!
Hope you’ve been doing well. Thought you might like to see the final design of your tattoo ;) See attached and let me know if anything needs to be changed. Be critical! Don’t hold anything back! Once we agree on a final piece, we’ll get you on the calendar.
Best regards,
Marcus :) 
Your mind skims over the fact that Marcus used a winking-face emoji in your email, because you honestly aren’t equipped to process that right now, and open the attachment instead. This time, you start crying in earnest. It’s perfect. The colors are so vibrant, and they make the tree look as though it’s in a constant state of movement. Your mom’s birth and death dates are entwined seamlessly into the roots themselves, in a way that makes them not readily apparent at first glance, but seeming to just appear out of nowhere upon further inspection. 
Subject: Re: Final Design
Marcus,
If I had any critical feedback, I would share it, I promise. But I have nothing. This is everything I’d imagined and more, and it means the world to me.
Thank you so much.
After a few more messages back and forth, you settle on a date one month out. 
You can’t wait.
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As excited as you’ve been for the past month, when you step foot back into Marcus’s little tattoo parlor, the air of finality makes your body thrum with anxiety.
You’re really doing this.
Marcus is at the back of the shop, busying himself with setting up his workspace when you enter. Today, he’s wearing a dark green henley that looks just as soft as he is, and seems to complement his features even more. As soon as he hears the chimes, his head snaps up, and he grins widely. 
“Hey!” he calls out excitedly. “Just getting everything ready. Do you want something to drink before we get started? I’ve got water, juice, soda…” he trails off, waving his hand in the direction of a mini-fridge in the corner. 
“I’m okay for now.”
“Sounds good, but when we take a break, you should have some juice or something else with a bit of sugar in it, okay?” You nod, and he continues. “Okay! Where do you want to sit?”
“Don’t I have to sit in the chair over there?” you ask, gesturing to the traditional chair and bench near Marcus’s work table. 
“Not at all,” he protests. “The table is mobile, I bring it to wherever you feel comfortable.”
“Oh,” you say dumbly. “I’ll go ahead and sit in the chair, though.” Of all the options, it looks like the easiest–you aren’t entirely sure how Marcus would be able to comfortably tattoo you whilst sitting on a bean bag chair. 
“Your choice,” he insists, spreading his hands out in an open and unguarded stance.
You settle in the chair and he sits down on a rolling stool beside you. 
“Okay, so I’ve got a stencil of your design here,” Marcus says, holding up a paper with an outline of the tree for you to see. “It’ll transfer onto your skin exactly how you want it to go, and I’ll just trace it. Make sense?”
“Yep,” you nod.
“Before I do that, though, I have to make sure nothing interferes with the design, including tiny little hairs.” He holds up a pink safety razor. “Are you comfortable with me doing this for you?”
At your tentative nod of consent, Marcus leans forward and gently swipes the razor up and down your shoulder until he’s satisfied. His eyes dart between your skin and your face the entire time–making sure you’re still with him. After he’s done, he talks you through the stencil–confirming its location, gently applying it to your shoulder, and then holding up a mirror for you to approve. 
“It’s great,” you whisper excitedly.
Marcus returns your smile and begins to absentmindedly roll up his sleeves in preparation to start working–-and the question about tattoos that you’d asked yourself upon first seeing the man is suddenly and unexpectedly answered.
You can’t help the soft sound of surprise that escapes from you when you catch the colorful patchwork of designs on both of his forearms, disappearing under the pushed-up henley and suggesting that they go all the way up. 
Marcus catches you staring and grins, his eyes sparkling with mirth.
“I didn’t know,” you say softly. “You keep them covered up.”
“Force of habit,” Marcus shrugs. “I had a desk job for a long time.”
“Doing what?” you ask, curiously. You can’t see the man doing anything but this.
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” he jokes, winking in your direction. 
Ignoring how the wink makes your heart stutter in your chest, you bark out a laugh at his answer. “What? Were you like a secret agent or something?” you tease.
“Special Agent,” he corrects, grinning. 
“Get out,” you deadpan. “I can’t imagine you as a Fed.”
Marcus shrugs, giving you another one of his boyish, crooked smiles. “Would’ve been fifteen years this year had I not finally seen the writing on the wall and run for the hills a couple of years ago.”
“What made you leave?” 
He laughs softly, shaking his head. “That’s a long story. How sensitive are you to noise?” he asks, abruptly changing the subject.
“Uh, I dunno. Kind of depends on the day and the situation,” you shrug.
“Fair. Well, I usually let newcomers listen to what the gun actually sounds like, so there are no surprises. If it’s too loud, I do have noise canceling headphones.”
And miss out on hearing Marcus’s soft-spoken reassurances? No matter how loud the tattoo gun is, you’d rather endure it just to be able to hear him talk. 
Marcus turns the instrument on, and the room is filled with a mild buzzing sound. On your worst days, admittedly, it would probably grate upon your nerves, but you’re feeling relaxed, comfortable, and excited about your new tattoo.
“It’s not bad,” you tell him truthfully. 
“Perfect,” he grins. “Are you all set to get started?”
Heart rate increasing with pleasant anticipation, you nod giddily. 
“I’m obviously gonna be touching your arm a lot,” Marcus says, “so let me know if you need a break from that, the noise, the needle, anything.” Seeing your solemn nod, he continues. “I’m gonna do a little dot right here to let you see how it feels, okay?” He gently touches his index finger to your skin to indicate where. 
“Okay.”
The gun turns on again, and Marcus presses it lightly against your skin for just a second before pulling back.
“...That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“I thought it would hurt more,” you confess.
Marcus laughs. “Well, the same feeling over and over again in a small area can start to be pretty uncomfortable. I’ll check in regularly to make sure you’re still doing fine. Good?”
You smile widely. “I’m really excited.”
His smile softens, his gaze becoming warmer and more tender. “I’m glad.”
His other hand gently cradles your arm as Marcus leans in, a look of intense concentration settling over his features as he begins the design. Engrossed in his work, you take the time to study his forearms. They’re a hodgepodge of designs, clearly done at different times and by different artists, but you can see themes throughout. He likes classic styles, you can tell, and in between some of the more traditional works you can see beautiful references to an assortment of famous paintings. A Dali melting clock here. A sunflower clearly inspired by Van Gogh there. On his opposite bicep, you can just barely make out the side of one design that looks like it might be of a Greek statue. Tilting your head, you realize it’s Nike alighting on the bow of a warship, and you inhale sharply. That’s one of your favorite sculptures.
“Still okay?” Marcus asks, glancing up at you with concern in his eyes.
“Sorry.” You shake your head quickly. 
“Just checking,” he says softly. “Try to be just a little more still, okay?”
“Sorry,” you repeat, laughing sheepishly. 
“Don’t be, you’re doing great.”
You try to fight the way your entire body seems to grow warm at Marcus’s praise, but you can’t stop the way the feeling stampedes through you. You’re being ridiculous, you chastise yourself. He’s doing his job, and you’re getting all moony-eyed.
In order to distract yourself, you continue playing ‘Spot the Famous Artwork’ on Marcus’s sleeves–although, as distractions go, it’s not your best work. You can’t help but focus in on the way his forearm cords with muscle as he holds the tattoo gun, controlling each movement so delicately and precisely, creating a beautiful, intricate design on your shoulder.
After finding a bit of yellow patchwork that's clearly a reference to Gustav Klimt's The Kiss near his right elbow, you break your silence.
“You like art, huh?”
It seems like a stupid thing to say to a fucking tattoo artist of all people, and you immediately kick yourself internally for saying something so obvious. 
Marcus glances up, and, seeing how your eyes are focused on his own ink, smiles. “Always have,” he murmurs, returning his gaze to your shoulder. “Some of those are years-old.”
“Is that how you got into being a tattoo artist?” you ask.
“Sort of,” he answers, brow pinched in concentration as he continues working. “I uh, apprenticed for a shop in college to pay the bills before going to Quantico for training.”
“You’re really talented,” you tell him. “I was surprised to find out you haven’t been doing this your whole life.”
Marcus hums his appreciation as he carefully fills in a root. 
“Can I ask what made you join the FBI instead of opening your own place after college?”
He huffs a little laugh through his nose. “Parents would have killed me, going to college and then doing nothing with it.”
“Running a small business isn’t exactly doing nothing,” you point out.
“Well, public opinion on tattoos wasn’t what it is now,” Marcus says. “They were scandalized by my apprenticeship, but it paid the bills, so they couldn’t complain too loudly.”
“Was it them who wanted you to join the FBI?”
“Mm, not so much,” he murmurs. “It was more like ‘whatever you want to do, so long as you can make a lucrative career out of it.’ Being an artist wasn’t one of those things, so in lieu of becoming one myself, I decided I wanted to protect them instead.”
You scrunch up your nose. “Protect them how?”
Marcus grins up at you and waggles his eyebrows playfully. “Art crimes,” he answers. “Being an art detective was kind of in the limelight in the early ‘nineties after the famous Gardner Museum theft, and I got swept up in the craze.”
“So you spent the last fifteen-ish years recovering stolen art,” you fill in for him.
“Stolen, forged, looted, illegally traded or smuggled…” Marcus offers, not breaking his concentration again. He wasn’t wrong–the repeated drag of the needle across what felt like the same square centimeter of your skin was starting to wear on you. 
“Uh-huh,” you say, forcing the discomfort out of your tone.
Noticing the tightness in your voice immediately, Marcus’s movements stop. “Feeling okay?”
You shrug.
The gun switches off.
“You gotta be honest about how you’re feeling,” he reminds you. “I might be able to create designs based off of customers’ vague descriptions, but that doesn’t make me a mind-reader.”
“It’s a little uncomfortable, but I can endure it,” you insist.
“There’s no need to endure something that’s painful,” Marcus argues with an amused smile. “Even if it involves choosing to repeatedly jamming a needle into your skin.”
You can’t help but laugh, and your heart swells when he joins you.
“C’mere,” he says. “Let me show you something.”
You let him lead you to the other side of the shop, where he stops in front of a large storage cabinet that you'd assumed held various supplies. When he opens it, however, you find that isn’t the case at all.
No, the entire cabinet is filled to the brim with a collection of stuffed animals just as eclectic and varied as the furniture. There's also a couple of shoeboxes filled with every manner of fidget toy you could ever imagine. 
"You can grab one, if you want. I know it might feel kind of goofy, but I promise they help with the pain."
"Okay," you breathe. Your gaze lingers first on the IKEA shark, then on a very soft-looking cactus with an adorable grumpy expression, but when your gaze lands on the largest and arguably oddest toy in the collection, your hands can't help but move toward it. 
"The big guy, huh?" Marcus laughs, taking the giant squid off of the shelf and placing it in your arms. You have to laugh at how large and ungainly it is; its massive black eyes stare vacantly back at you, but the effect is dopey, rather than menacing. 
"Where do you get all of these?" you ask in amazement. 
"Most of them are gifts from past clients, including that one," Marcus says, indicating the squid. "But I think he originally came from the Smithsonian. I was told his name is 'Cthulhu, Lord of the Deep.'"
"Thank you," you say in a small, appreciative voice.
"'S'fine," Marcus shrugs. "Feel up to continuing?"
You nod, looking down at your partially-inked shoulder. "Guess you didn't get very far before I had to stop," you remark, somewhat self-deprecatingly. 
"It's not a race," your artist says earnestly. "We've got the whole day, and we go at your pace. You're paying me, after all." Another wink in your direction.
"Yeah," you nod, confidence growing again. "Yeah, okay." You plop down in your seat, with Cthulhu in your lap, and Marcus takes his place beside you. 
“Gonna turn this back on again,” he announces as the now-familiar buzz fills the room, “and I’m gonna touch your arm–” his fingers wrap warmly and gently around your skin, “–annnd here we go.” 
The needle scratches insistently against your skin, but it isn’t so bad–not really, not with the hilarious giant squid on your lap and Marcus’s gentle, soothing voice in your ear. He talks while he works, sometimes asking you questions about your own life–to which he listens intently and always seems to have follow-up questions–and sometimes telling you stories of his own. You discuss art, obviously, but also music, books, movies, and baseball of all things.
You find yourself wondering if he has this type of easy rapport with everyone who comes in, but you assume he must. He might be the most disarming person you’ve ever met, and it’s hardly a stretch to believe he’s like this with everyone. Still, there’s an ugly, jealous part of you that wishes the connection between you was unique, special. That he’s only this warm with you. 
Marcus was right–squeezing the stuffed toy on your lap is a perfect distraction from the discomfort of the needle, and before long, the sensation fades into the background. As the time drags on, though, the persistent drone of the tattoo gun causes an ache to creep in and settle between your eyes. You take in a deep breath through your nose, count to three, and exhale slowly through your mouth.
Marcus glances up, watching you for a split-second before cutting power to the gun and stretching his back with a satisfied sigh. 
“Break time,” he announces. “Hand’s getting a bit sore.” He shoots you a knowing glance and another one of those crooked smiles. “And you should probably have a little something to drink, maybe a snack.”
“Yeah, thanks,” you say gratefully as he walks over to the little fridge.
“Apple juice?” he asks, holding up a little juice box that looks slightly comical in his large hands. When you nod enthusiastically, he hands it to you.
His fingers brush yours.
If it were anyone else, you’d recoil, but it’s him. It might just be the forced proximity, but…
You’re developing quite the crush on Marcus Pike.
Shoving the thought aside for the moment, you stab the straw into the little hole and take a long sip. Marcus settles down beside you with his own choice–a little can of vegetable juice–and holds it up in a silent ‘cheers.’
Feeling emboldened, you ask the question that’s been burning in your mind since you started.
“So what made you leave the whole ‘helping other artists’ thing behind and start a tattoo business instead?”
Marcus presses his lips together, and for a moment, you fear you’ve crossed a boundary. Just before you’re about to apologize profusely, though, he speaks.
“Have you ever just… woken up one morning, and realized that everything you were working toward, everything you thought you wanted in life… was a lie?”
“I… I don’t know,” you confess quietly, surprised at the emotion behind his words.
“Happened to me,” he laughs softly. “I had moved to DC for what I thought was my dream job, with who I thought was–” he shakes his head, as though dispelling an unpleasant thought. “I had spent my entire life checking boxes: College degree? Check. Well-paying job? Check. House? Check. Check, check check. I spent so much time trying to get ahead, like life was some kind of game to be won. If I said all the right things, did all the right things, if I did everything right… I’d have the life I wanted.”
“What was the life you wanted?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.
“It was bullshit, is what it was. Saw one too many rom-coms as a kid, I suppose. I thought I was after the picket fence, the dog, the wife and two-point-five kids, that sort of thing. And one morning I woke up, realized that… that relentless pursuit of something I couldn’t even hold–it was all bullshit.”
“So you just… quit?”
“I quit. I wanted to create things again. I wanted to feel inspired. After a bit of uh… frantic soul-searching before I ran out of money entirely, I sold my stupid, too-big condo that I hated and bought this shop instead.”
“Did it work?”
“Well, I’m not bankrupt yet,” Marcus says dryly.
“No, I mean… did you feel inspired again?”
“I did. I do. So very much so,” he says, his voice soft and gentle. His eyes flick up to meet yours, and that comfortable warmth that had settled in between you the first time you had met him… grows. Mutates. Until the warm, tingling feeling feels a lot more like electricity.
An unspoken moment seems to pass through you, but then Marcus clears his throat roughly, setting the empty can aside and standing again, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Wanna keep going?”
Breathlessly, you nod. 
In no time at all, you’re settled back in the chair with one of Marcus’s warm, strong, large hands cradling your arm as the other gently wields the tattoo gun. As he starts to fill in and blend the colors, the pain starts to increase, and you worry one of the fuzzy tentacles back and forth in your hand as you grit your teeth.
“I know, I know,” Marcus soothes quietly. “The color’s the worst part, but you’re being so good for me.”
It helps you to watch him work, so you do. He’s blending in the colors now, and you watch with interest as it starts to take shape. It’s so mesmerizing that you hardly even notice the buzz of the gun or the light sting of the needle anymore.
“And you said you ‘weren’t good at tattoos,’” he teases gently, noticing your obvious interest. 
“Did I say that?” you laugh, teasing back.
“I believe your words were, ‘I’m like the worst candidate for getting a tattoo that exists.’” he reminds you. “And look at you now, huh?”
You duck your head at his praise, unable to withstand the intensity and honesty in his gaze.
“Doing okay after all, I guess,” you say with a sheepish smile.
“You’re doing amazing,” Marcus corrects, smiling warmly. “The type of client any artist dreams of.”
You don’t know how to respond to the things this man says to you. Stunned and at a loss for words, you stare awkwardly at your hand where it still wraps around Cthulhu, Lord of the Deep.
“I’m sorry.” The words are soft, concerned. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just meant that your enthusiasm and your curiosity is the stuff that makes me want to be an artist in the first place.”
“Are you saying I inspire you?” you try to tease, but it falls flat.
Just audibly, over the hum of the tattoo gun, you hear his whispered response. 
“Yes.” 
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As Marcus wipes away the last of the stray ink on the purple bit of tree, the tattoo gun suddenly switches off. The silence is almost shocking, and you blink rapidly in confusion.
“Break time?” you ask.
Marcus chuckles, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement. “It’s all done.”
“It is?” you ask, although you can see the answer for yourself in the large mirrored wall to your right. 
“How’s it feel?” he asks.
“My arm kind of aches,” you confess, “but oh my God, Marcus… it’s beautiful.”
It’s his turn to preen under your praise, the tips of his ears blushing pink as he grins back at you.
“I’m glad you like it,” he says softly. “Here, let me give you a little something for the pain.” 
He squeezes a glob of light-green cooling gel and coats the angry skin with the barest of touches. “Still okay?” he asks, glancing up at you for confirmation.
After the harshness of the needle, the soft press of his fingers is more soothing than ever, and you have to resist the urge to sigh and melt into his touch. 
“Yes,” you whisper.
“You’re going to want to keep this covered for a couple of hours, up to overnight,” Marcus says as he carefully applies a dressing to your shoulder–still softly, but more businesslike than before as he walks you through all of the instructions for care. “Once you take this off tomorrow, you’ll probably see some fluid leaking from it–that’s totally normal. It’s blood, plasma, and extra ink, and it should stop after a few days before it starts to scab over.
 “You’ll want to keep it from drying out; I’d recommend scent-free, dye-free lotion if you don’t already have some,” he continues. “Wash it twice a day and put lotion on after. When it starts to scab, I can’t stress this enough: don’t pick the scabs.” He gives you a serious look. “Repeat that back to me.”
“Don’t pick the scabs.”
“If you do, you could cause it to scar, or even pull out the ink. One more time for me,” he prompts, and you get the feeling that this is always the sticking point in his speech.
“Don’t pick the scabs,” you repeat.
“It’ll take three to four months for the lower layers of skin to completely heal,” Marcus tells you. “During that time, keep it out of the sun, keep it hydrated, and you’re in the clear.”
“And don’t pick the scabs,” you say teasingly. 
Marcus winks at you. “Exactly. Any other questions for me?”
“No, just… thank you. It’s amazing,” you tell him. “You did such an incredible job.”
“Hard not to, when I have such a beautiful canvas.”
Your eyes dart up, expecting to see a teasing glint in his eyes, but all you can see is heartfelt sincerity. You swallow thickly, and he tracks the movement, his eyes dropping down, then back up to meet your eyes. Is it… not just you? Does he feel it, too? Realization slams through you and threatens to overload all of your systems. Marcus’s lips are parted slightly, and the look in his eyes… it’s desire.
“Marcus…”
“Wait,” he says urgently. “Hang on. Come… come over here for a minute, let me–” he dashes awkwardly over to the till on the counter and gives you your total. Frowning in confusion–he wants to do this now? Interrupting that electric moment that had passed between you?–you dutifully swipe your card and numbly take the receipt.
“Now you’re no longer my client,” Marcus explains softly. “I–sorry–I was about to throw caution to the wind and kiss you, and I didn’t… I didn’t want to be unethical, I–”
“Yes,” you say simply, giving your response to his un-asked question.
It’s all he needs to stride forward, gently take your face in his warm palms, and, seeing no hesitation in your eyes even as he searches your face desperately—presses his lips to yours.
The kiss is as soft and as tender as the man himself, which hardly surprises you. Your eyes slip closed as his lips move against you with aching caution. He’s careful in all things, including this–taking your cues, giving you the lead, letting you feel everything he’s giving you.
All too quickly, he pulls back–but his eyes only sweep your face again, a growing smile on his lips as he sees nothing but want reflected back at him. 
When he lowers his lips to yours again, he’s less gentle. One large hand leaves your face too hook around your waist, pulling you closer, closer–and when the proximity causes you to gasp softly, Marcus is ready. His tongue gently slips between your parted lips and you practically melt into him. When your knees buckle, his strong arms are what keep you standing upright, and still–
He can’t seem to stop kissing you. 
You break before he does–pulling back to suck in a few shaky, heaving breaths, and he smiles through his own labored breathing.
“I wanted–I–” he begins, before hastily pressing another kiss to the corner of your mouth as if he can’t help but do so. 
“I’ve thought of you,” he tries again. “I thought of you like this for the last month,” the confession finally spills out. “I wanted to–wanted to kiss you so badly all day, but I couldn’t. Couldn’t let myself.” He kisses you again. “But now,” he promises, whispering the words against your mouth. “Now I’m gonna get my fill.”
To punctuate his statement with one of your own, you slant your head and deepen the kiss, wrapping one hand around Marcus’s neck and pulling him closer still. He makes a soft noise in his throat, and the grip on your waist tightens. You lose yourself completely to the feel of his tongue sliding slowly against yours, until he suddenly pulls back.
“I’m doing this all wrong,” he whispers–although he’s still smiling. “I wanted to ask you out to dinner, first.”
“So ask me,” you say with a giggle.
“Come have dinner with me,” Marcus murmurs, shaking his head in quiet amusement as he steals another gentle kiss. “Right now. Tonight.”
“You might have to open all the doors,” you tease. “My arm hurts.”
Another kiss.
“I’m wounded that you think I wouldn’t open every door regardless.”
“Are you always such a gentleman?” you remark with a wry smile.
Another. 
“Well,” Marcus grins wolfishly. He places on last, lingering kiss on your lips and then makes a show of offering his arm. “Not always.”
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damianbugs · 1 year
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If you r still doing the fic recs, what are some good Bruce and Jason ones? I'm going insane
HELLO. oh my gosh. you know, since exam month has officially begun, i should be studying, but like, why would i do that when i could be doing this instead? this is like. so much more productive for my happiness.
it's no secret i am not normal absolutely totally insane about bruce and jason and OF COURSE i will rec you fics of them. i have 150+ bookmarks of fics just centred around them so i really tried to narrow it down to a few of my favourites. if you ever need anymore please ask again!
what a truly disastrous tragedy they are. the blueprint i fear. no fictional father and son has impacted me more. jason and bruce fic writers lace their works in crack because once you read one, you are stuck forever. there is no escape. trust me. anyways!
BRUCE AND JASON FIC RECS
don't take your guns to town by kreestar
batman comes home from a night patrolling to find a 10 year old jason todd waiting for him in his kitchen. across gotham, at the same time, red hood is stopped by a 25 year old bruce wayne.
MY NOTES: no one is surprised at all that the first fic on this list is time travel. the characterisation in this was insanely good especially between young bruce and jason i loved their parts. so bittersweet and the ending was lovely!
I Will Always Be There For You by squashflower
There's a closet in the manor that locks you inside. It has no lighting or heating or air conditioning of any kind, and Jason, safe to say, wishes he could burn it to the ground. Or shoot it. One of the two.
MY NOTES: there is just something so good about stories where it switches from robin jason to an experience mirrored by red hood jason and this is the perfect example. so so good.
all the small weights by sparkycap
When Batman gets hit with fear toxin, he worries about his Robins. His Robins think it's their job to deal with it. Jason wasn't aware anyone still included him in that group, but according to Tim, he's the only one available.
MY NOTES: fear toxin the trope that keeps on giving. best thing about this though is that the actual fear toxin is not the main part of the story, and i think it was handled so beautifully and maturely in a way i haven't seen before. i cried (twice).
-> just an aside, but i think you should read the other bruce and jason work by this specific writer. they're all insanely good.
Mermaid Tears by minnow_doodle_doo
And if real mermaid tears were what Jason wanted the world to have, Bruce would make Aquaman cry glass.
MY NOTES: teehee sorry for recommending ur own fic in ur ask minnow but this fic is just so sweet and special i need everyone to read it. a wonderful look into that all encompassing love bruce had for jason when things were much simpler for them.
Aftermath by ivy_and_ivory
Now: Batman is in Paris, pulled there by a case that extends beyond Gotham’s borders, when circumstances lead him to a badly injured Red Hood – who might hold the key to Batman’s investigation.
Then: The Red Hood storms into Gotham, begins to stake his claim on the criminal underground, then abruptly disappears – but only after he breaks into Arkham Asylum and leaves the Joker dead in his own cell.
Or: A study of why Bruce couldn’t kill the Joker, what would happen if someone else could – and how you move on from the aftermath.
MY NOTES: you know when you find a fic and you're just like. oh my god. this is it. this is exactly what i wanted. this is all that matters. yeah. that's this fic to me. im sort of obsessed with the idea of batman bonding with red hood without making the direct connection that it's jason.
A Straight Blade by Sparkypants
"What happened to your face?" Bruce asks, reaching his hand for Jason's jaw. "You're bleeding." Jason bristles, cheeks turning pink. "I cut myself shaving." He says, and wipes at the cut with the cuff of his hoody. Damian makes a clicking noise with his tongue, "I'm amazed you haven't taken your own head off." He snarks. Jason shoves his chair away from the table, temper flaring. "Well it's not like anyone ever taught me, is it." He hisses. He's five years late, but Bruce finally teaches Jason how to shave.
MY NOTES: i am so okay so normal about this fic. such a sweet little happy story but i was literally looking down at my screen squinting through my blurry vision because i was tearing up. the unknowing domestic simplicities of being father and son (hysterical sobbing)
Stargazer by LemonadeGarden
Jason Todd is seriously injured during patrol one night, and is forced to stay at the manor to recuperate until his injuries are healed. To pass the time, he makes a list of things he never got to do before he died. Except there's one small problem: most of them involve Bruce, and Jason doesn't really think Bruce cares all that much about him anymore. This is a story about how wrong he is, but I made it sad anyway.
MY NOTES: okay so i think the best way to end this post is with the first ever bruce and jason centric work i ever read that changed the chemicals in my brain forever. THIS is the fic that made me really latch onto their relationship and want to see that reconciliation and recovery. THE roadtrip fic ever.
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poguestarkey · 7 months
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not in the same way- t.n.
back after a quick 8 month hiatus my b
decided to write a little blurb about reader not being in love with theo since i feel like it's always the other way around.
yes i am eating up the tiktok ideas of him being italian don't start w me
warnings: just angst on angst, destruction of a friendship, theo being sad (that's a trigger in and of itself tbh), sickly sweet adorable girlhood moment btwn the GryffGirlies, like one potty word, i plucked that one scene right out of TSITP don't come for me, horrifyingly unedited cuz i just dont care
theo nott x gryffindor!reader
-----
Dread.
That's all that washes over you when you finally meet his eyes. It runs ice-cold through your veins and you can practically hear what he's going to say before it even leaves his mouth. You're sure he can see the way your head shakes slowly as you realize because he reaches for your hand and holds it tightly between his. Not out of comfort, but as a plead.
Please, please don't do what I think you're going to.
Theo... oh, sweet Theo. Theo, with his huge blue eyes and endlessly large heart. Theo, always the first to celebrate the small wins with you. Theo, who in theory, should be the perfect man for you.
But Theo, who no matter how hard you tried, never made your heart sing the way your friends giggled about.
You never thought twice about the way his hands would linger over yours as he explained Arithmancy problems or how he always pulled you close in by the shoulder while chatting with his Slytherin friends, his fingers mindlessly tracing patterns into your sweater. His sweater. You've been friends since third-year, best friends. So many years of being close to him desensitized you to the constant comments of "That's Nott's girl," and "Would you look at the lovebirds!" They never hit home and you always scoffed them off with ease.
With ease, until last weekend in your dorm after an open-mic night at the Three Broomsticks. You and Theo had performed the most atrocious duet rendition of the new Weird Sisters song, "Why Can't You See."
"Y/N, do you even see the way he looks at you?" Parvati asked. Your head shoots up this.
"What?"
"C'mon, Y/N/N. The man is absolutely smitten with you. It's almost painful to watch, really," Lavender piped in, causing Hermione and Padma to sit up and join the conversation. Eyes widening, you realize who they're talking about.
"Theo? No... No, Theo and I are just-" You're cut off.
"Just friends. We've heard. A million times," Hermione sighs. "I mean Merlin's beard Y/N, you have to have noticed by now. Nott can't keep his hands off of you."
"'Mione, that's not- no, that's different. He just likes physical touch and that's fine-" You're cut off yet again by a slurry of teenage girls throwing evidence at you.
"-ever touch Malfoy-"
"-actually lights up when you enter a room, I've never-"
"-bigger heart eyes for you if they were cartooned on him in the Prophet-"
Your hands grow shaky and your breath becomes heavy in your lungs as the weight of what this means washes over you. Hot tears prick at the corners of your eyes and you fight the burn in the back of your sinuses with everything you have.
"Wait!" Hermione nearly shouts, and the cacophony of squeals and stories comes to a halt. "Y/N? Why are you crying? Are you alright?"
Her words make the first sob break out of your chest, and your hand shoots to your mouth to try and stifle the sound. Padma, ever the lover, is immediately at your side.
"I- I- I can't... I don't lo- if he really feels that way, it will destroy us," you cry, leaning further into her touch. Quickly, and with increasing amount of concern written on their features, the rest of the girls surround you.
"What do you mean, love?" you can't see her, but you know it's Lavender's breathy voice. "Isn't this a good thing?"
"No, no, no, no-" Your breath begins to hitch again, and 'Mione rubs gentle circles on your back. "Lav, him being in love with me is the worst thing that could happen."
"I don't mean to be insensitive, but the rest of us are quite out of the loop here and, er, well- why?" You let out a chuckle at Parvati's bluntness, but still felt the squeeze of the answer in your heart. You've known, deep down. You denied it as hard as you could manage but still, it creeped up on you, terrorizing your thoughts.
"He will never forgive me. I know he'll try so hard, but it'll never be the same, because he will never forgive me for not loving him the same way. Because he's done everything right. He is kind, and patient, and loving, and all of the wonderful things I've always said that I wanted but still, I just don't love him like that. And I want to- fuck, I want to so bad. It kills me that I can't. But he can never know that I know, because he will never, ever forgive me when I can't say it back." The last few words come out nearly inaudible as gasping sobs take over your body. "And I am so afraid to lose my best friend."
A squeeze from Hermione saves you from your thoughts. No one knows what to say, and Padma pulls your pillow and quilt from underneath you before grabbing her own, forming a pile on the floor. The corners of your lips perk up as you realize what she's doing, and soon the room is filled again with the sounds of girlish giggles and gossip and your four closest girlfriends do their best to keep your chin up for you.
The rest of the week, you can hardly look Theo in the eyes. You're not trying to avoid him, but every time you're in the same room you feel so overcome with guilt that it's hard to breathe.
On Sunday, you skip breakfast and hole away in the library under a stack of potions textbooks, shooing him away with a curt "Sorry, Teddy. Too busy."
Monday, you sit at Gryffindor's table for every meal and only speak in DADA to tell him it's his turn to practice defensive spells.
It's Tuesday night when you get the owl.
Y/N/N,
please talk to me. i need to see you, i'm worried. you're not alright.
i miss you.
-T
You write him back on the same piece of parchment, your shaking hands causing ink to splatter into tiny dots across his script.
I know. I'm sorry. Friday night.
Wednesday and Thursday are a blur of forced smiles to him and the burn of his stare from across the Charms classroom.
Friday comes, and you're damn near ready to pull Mrs. Norris' tail just to get a detention.
You know the exact bench in the courtyard he'll be sat at, and you count your paces as you walk. His eyes catch you and he swings his feet off the ledge, shutting his book.
"Y/N," He breathes, the sweetest smile on his face. "What's going on, cara mia?"
Every strategy you had for keeping him away from the elephant in the room goes flying out of your head faster than a Firebolt.
"It's nothing, really. Please don't worry. I know I've been distant but it's really nothing to be concerned about so-" your voice is getting louder and faster, a tell-tale sign that you're not telling the truth.
He cuts you off with your name.
"Y/N." You're eternally thankful that it's late enough that no one is outside with you. "Tell me what's happened. Please." His eyes grow even larger with pure concern and he moves his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. You pull your lip between your teeth while thinking about how to respond.
"I just... Teddy, I can't tell you. I just can't. I promise it's alright, I just don't want to talk about it." You're lying through your teeth and you're sure he knows it too.
"Alright," he whispers, voice dropping. His hand hasn't moved from the side of your face since he fixed your hair, and his eyes move to scan the slope of your lips. You can feel the pit in your stomach start to form as you fear what's coming next. "You are the most beautiful thing on this planet, you know that?"
His thumb is tracing the plane of your cheek.
"Theodore..." He smiles at his full name, and his eyes start to close.
No.
No.
This is what you feared so much.
That you would lose everything over one moment, just like this.
He can't be more than a breath from your mouth when both of your palms find his firm chest and push him away.
"Wait- wait, Theo. No. I don't- I'm sorry, but I-" His eyes snap open, that beautiful blue full of confusion. "I'm sorry, Theo." You can already feel hot tears threatening to spill over, and your stomach is churning.
"I.... What?" He says it so quietly you aren't even sure he meant to say it aloud. His hands move from your face, now salty and wet, to run through his hair, tugging on the strands.
"That's what I've been off about. I've been scared that you're gonna..." You gesture wildly between the two of you, not sure what to call it.
"Kiss you?"
"Yes."
"Why would you be scared of me kissing you, Y/N?" He looks genuinely, honestly puzzled.
"Because... because I don't... I didn't know, and then this weekend the girls were all on about it and I had no idea what they were talking about, and they told me, and I just panicked, Theo. I had no idea." He's stood up now, and you're seconds behind him, standing still in the chilly air as he paces and presses his hands into his eyes. "If I'd known sooner, Teddy... I would've- I could've done something, I don't know, could've tried-"
He stops, now just in front of you. "If you knew?"
"If I knew that you felt that way-"
"I thought you knew!" The crack of his voice splits your chest in two, unaided by the tears beading in his eyes. You've never seen him cry. "I thought you knew! From the moment I crashed your cabin on the train, I thought you knew."
The two of you just stand there, staring at each other, as cold, biting raindrops start to fall from the sky. You fight to form words but absolutely comes to your brain and you can't do anything but stare at him as he continues.
He hasn't even opened his mouth to start the next sentence when you realize what you're going to hear. You can't tell if it's the rain or the pure dread coursing through your veins that's turning your fingers ice-cold as you shake your head "no" to something he hasn't even said yet.
"I've been in love with you since I was 13, Y/N/N." He's holding onto your hand with both of his like it's his only lifeline while he desperately spills words. "I am so in love with you. You turn my world. You are my absolute everything. It consumes me. I can't hold it anymore, Y/N," He cries. Your eyes are squeezed shut and it's a wonder you haven't broken his hand with how tightly you're holding it between you. "Please, please, please say something."
"I love you," He sucks in a breath and you open your eyes to meet his. "I love you so much, Teddy. More than anything." His hands are now on either side of your face, and your fingers are laced around his wrists. "But I'm not in love with you," You choke out, grip relaxing.
His forehead presses against yours and he does nothing to quiet to sobs racking his body as you pull him against you, wrapping your arms around his warm frame.
You whisper dozens of apologies and "I wish I dids" into his ear before he releases you and sits back on the bench, moving the thoroughly soaked book to the side so you can join him. His head is in his hands and his elbows rest on his knees, and you think that you've never seen him look so defeated.
Finally, you tear your eyes away from him and stare straight ahead at the ivy covered walls, praying that the silence swallows you whole.
It's practically deafening, actually, because the sound of his heart breaking is echoing across the stone.
Eventually, you speak up.
"I think... I think I should probably go, right?"
He picks his head up but doesn't look at you as he replies:
"Yeah, I think that's for the best."
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