TRAIN LINK?? TRAIN LINK!!!!!!

Hello! I'm here to request. Can you do a Valkyrie(not separated) with reader where they are all preparing for a Live like they do be helping each other getting ready and what happens after the Live? I know it's kinda long so it's understandable why you won't take it but if you do, thank you.(btw sfw pls)

Ooo interesting concept, i'd love to do this req!

I may not be good at coming up with stuff for Valkyrie and I may not know what the hell goes on after lives but I can try!

apologies if it's too ooc!

You tugged on the edges of Mika's costume for the fifth time in the last 20 minutes. "Nnah... Producer-san, I think it's fine already," the boy said, watching you fix every little detail of the outfit. "...right, sorry Mika, I just wanted to make sure you're ready for the Live," you say, smoothing the fabric and standing up. "And you know how Shu's super particular about wrinkles and stuff, right?" Mika giggled lightly at your response.

"What's all the giggling here?" Shu asked as both he and Nazuna came over to the two of you as he'd just finished fixing the latter's outfit as well. "Nothing, nothing," you said with a wave of your hand, still smiling. Shu raised an eyebrow disbelievingly but said nothing.

"Uwaaa Nazuna-nii and Oshi-san look so elegant..." Mika said, looking at the other two in admiration. "Dunno if I can perform the new song all that well-" You were about to say something and looked over at Shu, unsure if you should be the one to say something. However he just crossed his arms expectantly, as if waiting for something. Or someone.

"Mika-chin!" Nazuna's voice broke through Mika's self-deprecating stupor. The smaller male strode forward to stand right in front of him, putting his hands on his hips. "Don't talk about yourself like that, 'kay? We practiced this song a bunch of times and you did great those times! So don't start doubting yourself as soon as we step onstage."

You looked over at Shu again. Did he know this was going to happen? He caught you while your eyes were on him and scoffed quietly. "Kagehira is more than competent enough for these Lives. He has much more potential to bloom than he realizes. If he can't find it in himself to overcome his self-consciousness and doubt, well. Let's just say I won't let that happen."

While Nazuna was encouraging Mika, you turned to Shu, considering his words. You reached over to fix his jabot. "You... see him as a lot more than just a doll, don't you? No matter what he believes, you see him as a partner. A friend. Right?" The pink-haired man smoothed out his clothes as you finished and looked you up and down as if judging you. "Of course. Kagehira is a vital part of Valkyrie, and I consider him as such. I wouldn’t dream of performing without him."

"Ah crap I totally lost track of the time!" You suddenly remembered you weren't there for fun, the four of you actually had a job to do. You checked your watch, and seeing as there was a little time left for goodbyes before they went onstage.

"Alright guys, it's almost time," you said, catching their attention. "You got this. The new song has absolutely nothing on you - you're gonna do great, I believe in you!" You cheered, hoping it would raise their spirits and morale as they were about to leave. Mika smiled, relaxing a bit. "Thanks Producer-san... Knowing that 'ya and Oshi-san and Nazuna-nii believe in me... It feels great!" Nazuna laughed, lightly hitting Mika's back. "Yeah, just trust in me, Y/N, and Itsuki, we're right behind you." "Like always," Shu added with face that seemed to say, "isn't that obvious?"

"Okay! Well there's nothing else I can say except... good luck." You send one last smile to them before escorting them out the door and toward the stage.

Like usual, their performance today was just as mesmerizing and beautiful as ever. They dominated both the stage and their audience, captivating them and holding their attention with elegant dance and rich vocals, the enthralling stage gripping you as you didn’t dare look away. As their producer you had seen them practice and perform many times but it still managed to enchant you every time.

Of course this also meant that when the Live was done you had to rush backstage to get what you had prepare for their return. Also meaning you were as out of breath as they were. “Great job, all of you!” You said, panting as you handed out water to them as they came backstage. Nazuna chuckled softly upon seeing your condition. “Couldn’t look away from the stage, huh?” He teased with a smile. Your face reddened in embarrassment and looked down. “Listen, you- gah… I’m- shut it!”

The four of you sat together in the green room talking and laughing. “So…. any plans after this?” You asked. “Im’a be repairing some of the stuffed toys I found the other day…. nothin’ else much though,” Mika said. “I might just turn in for the night when I get back to the dorms after I eat dinner or something,” Nazuna shrugged, and Shu simply huffed quickly. “I must tend to Mademoiselle… however if time allows I might relax in the ES lounge. Why do you ask?” You grinned at his words. “Good question! I was thinking… I’m taking you guys out to dinner. What do you think? It’s my treat!”

Hello! Why do you think Carlisle likes Aro? (Love your meta btw!)

This blog lasted 25 days before becoming an Aro/Carlisle blog. The sanity was nice while it lasted, I suppose.

Oh well, I embrace my trash ship.

(Anon is referring to this post)

(This one is also relevant)

So, while on Aro’s end it was a case of “did the gods just give me my very own Enkidu?”, for Carlisle we must look at the circumstances. The Carlisle Cullen who walked into Volterra is not the Carlisle Cullen who works at Forks General.

Carlisle was a demon-hunting priest who brought his religion into his new life. Having no idea what he’d just become, apart from the obvious things like “I desperately want to kill people for their blood” and “I sparkle?!”, many of the things that are obvious to us would not be at all obvious to him. His only experience with other demons was the slum-dweller that killed him. It was brutal, and three other people from his parish were murdered as well. He’d been able to track the vampire down, something I can only take that to mean that the vampire used his parish for hunting grounds. He’s so horrified by what he’s become that he tries to destroy himself. This fails, and instead he finds a way out that lets him live without having to kill, and with that comes to the realization that vampires retain their souls (which is for another post).

My point being, Carlisle wakes up as a demon, and has no way of knowing how any of this works, nor of how to explain the fact that he is able to retain his soul. It’s telling that even after centuries of being a vampire he still thought something might be fundamentally different about him, as he chose to turn Edward by simulating his own transformation, even though it meant more pain for Edward. In other words, Carlisle was not guaranteed that his experience was universal. By the time we meet him in canon he’s wonderfully friendly to everybody regardless of what they eat, but I strongly doubt he got from point “Demons are monsters and I’ll rally a mob to lynch them!” to “Vampires are people who sadly eat other people.” right away.

So, you have freshly immortal Carlisle Cullen wandering around Europe with no way of knowing that other vampires are as (for lack of a better word) human as he is. How can they be, when they choose to eat people? (My personal headcanon is that he went by a Persephone theory, and figured that by resisting human blood he’d remained a man.)

It was this Carlisle who met Aro and the other Volturi. According to Edward (I unfortunately don’t have Twilight with me so I can’t quote his exact words), they were the ones who showed him that vampires can in fact be sophisticated.

Sophisticated. Not just as in Aro, Marcus, and Caius eat their virgins with some fava beans and a nice chianti, but as in they’re civilized and intelligent beings. Carlisle was no longer a one lone freak who somehow retained his soul while everyone else went full Buffy vampire, or any other such theory. I can’t even imagine the impact that must have had on a young Carlisle who would have been even lonelier than the Carlisle who found Edward in Chicago. That Carlisle at least had friends, this younger version had absolutely nobody.

Aro changed that.

More than being sophisticated, Aro turned out to be a kindred spirit, an absolutely brilliant mind and a generous host. Carlisle chose to live with him for decades, leaving only because of their dietary differences. And even if people disagree with me with all of the above, I don’t think anyone can argue that this one isn’t huge.

Of all the people Carlisle knows in canon, Aro is the only one he stayed with just for Aro’s own sake. Carlisle loves the Cullens dearly, but the cornerstone holding them together is their shared diet, and the fact that Carlisle turned four of them, the other two joined. He did not happen upon them and then like them so much that he decided to move in. As for his other friends, he cares for them all, but he didn’t share decades of his life with them.

Regardless of how we’re interpreting their relationship (as in, platonic, UST, or raging homosexual affair), I don’t think anyone can dispute that Carlisle and Aro are each other’s best friends.

But beyond proving that vampires aren’t all sewer-dwelling, priest-eating rascals, what exactly made Aro so special?

I’ll just list his qualities in no particular order.

Sophistication This guy is a lover of the arts and of knowledge. His gallery and library must have been the most extensive and diverse in the world, and it probably still is. I can’t even begin to imagine the wealth of knowledge and treasures that Aro must have collected over the years. If the Holy Grail exists within the world of Twilight, Aro has it. Where I’m headed with this, is that not only would Aro’s collection be the coolest thing ever to Carlisle, but also that this was a time when the number of books and an art collection was a sign of high class, of intellectualism, of all things fine and noble that was considered virtuous. Aro acts very much like wealthy European nobility, he even lives in Italy, the cultural epicenter of the Western world of old. He physically could not have been more impressive to Carlisle.

Kind of a continuation of the previous point: Aro is from Ancient Greece (well, he’s Myceanaean, but same difference to a “You predate Homer?!” starstruck Carlisle). Ancient Greece was the ultimate, perfect, civilization to Europe, and Carlisle got to Volterra just ahead of the Enlightenment. This alone would have made him so unbelievably cool to Carlisle.

Nerd I think this one speaks for itself. Carlisle is an unbelievable nerd, an inquisitive mind who’ll study anything and everything, and in Aro he found someone who also has an inquisitive mind and will study anything and everything. They’re both very intelligent. Carlisle went from being that sad whale that sings on a frequency no other whales can hear, to having someone who just got it.

His gift So you’re all gonna have to stay with me on this one. Aro’s gift is one most people would find very invasive, which as I touched upon in one of the posts linked above must be very isolating. And yet we know from canon that Carlisle has no problem at all with Edward reading his mind all the time, and more, if Aro reading his mind was a problem then Aro and Marcus would both have known, and I doubt their friendship would have worked out. So, I think that Carlisle not only didn’t mind having his every thought read, but that this was an actively good thing. Because what is less lonely than the company of one who knows you as intimately as you know yourself? To be friends with Aro is to be truly understood, known more deeply than anyone else can ever know you. And to someone who seeks companionship as much as Carlisle does, I imagine this is an extremely attractive feature.

Offer of friendship Carlisle would have been hopelessly lonely when he met Aro. And as no one else is mentioned as being close to him, Jane hadn’t even met him which I find pretty telling of how he interacted (or didn’t interact) with the Guard, and he wouldn’t yet have any of his other friends that he later made, he only had Aro.

He enforcers a law that keeps the known world from descending into chaos Human civilization wouldn’t last a day without the Volturi. There would be nothing stopping vampires from taking out entire villages in one go, immortal children would be everywhere, and the newborn armies would spread like wildfire. In the world of Twilight, the Volturi are a necessary evil. And Aro is their leader. The fact that he not only keeps the world together, an ungrateful task with no end in sight, but had the idea to create a law in the first place would make him all the more amazing to Carlisle.

And I’m sure there’s more that is currently slipping my mind.

Just, Aro is on every level the most impressive, awe-inspiring, and dare I say dazzling, that anyone can be to Carlisle. And he came into Carlisle’s life at the best possible moment. If he’d agreed to do the animal diet, Carlisle would have stayed. If he wanted to seduce Carlisle, I think he’d succeed. I also think that their time together was far more formative for the person Carlisle became than anyone gives Aro credit for.

(And if Carlisle had never found anyone who’d share the diet, he would eventually have returned. I imagine Aro thought the same, but that’s for another post.)

Oh, and last bit - in Breaking Dawn we get this beautiful moment where Carlisle learns that Aro robbed the British royal family, and he just goes, “yup, that’s my guy”. Even after Eclipse, he remains fond of Aro. I mean, there’s also the fact that he’s been lugging around this giant painting for centuries, even at a time when he didn’t have a house and I can only speculate as to where he was keeping it.

Of course, over the course of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn everything goes to hell, but that’s for another post.

TL;DR, Carlisle went from a priest’s son to living with an evil vampire overlord for decades because he’s just that great, in the present he keeps a giant painting of him in his office. I feel it’s safe to assume he likes the man.

(Edited on the 13th of April to fix some phrasing and add a link)

hi, I have an headcanon request for Asmo week, if you accept to write abt it : Asmo buys a kind of anti-aging cream / elixir of youth except that when he wakes up the next morning it turns out that he looks like a young child. Solomon promises to look for a solution, but it may take a few days. In the meantime, Asmo certainly does not want his brothers to learn or he will for sure hear about it forever and so he goes seek the help of MC... What are they doing during these few days?

So this had been in the work for three days because I had a terrible migraine that literally prevented me from focusing on my computer for too long for two days and sadly got busy yesterday but since I am doing a little bit better today and I have free time (ameno) it’s now time to go back to this request !

( @milas-imaginarium )

You woke up hearing an ear-wrenching scream that day.

Immediately recognizing Asmo voice you rushed to his room where all the brothers were already gathered.

“Asmo open the door” Lucifer commanded.

But no response came. So Lucifer asked again and again and again but still no answers came out of the room.

“Asmo this is the last time, open the door before I break it”

As Lucifer changed into his demon form you heard a weak voice coming from the room.

“NO” Asmo screamed more clearly.

Something was wrong with his voice. It was really high-pitched even more than it usually was. It almost seemed... Juvenile?

Catching on that something weird was happening you placed a hand in front of Lucifer stopping him in his tracks (bad move really)

“Asmo can I come in?” You asked “Just me nobody else” you could hear Lucifer disapproving behind you but you paid it no mind.

Hearing nothing but a mumble you decided to take that as a “yes” and put your hand on the handle on the door to open it.

Door that was actually open btw

Closing the door behind you, and locking it to make sure the brother wouldn’t peep, you immediately spotted Asmo curled into a ball under the sheets of his bed.

You sat next to his form on the bed and softly called out to him. Hearing nothing but a whimper you decided to lift up the sheets of the bed to take a look at him and...well...your jaw dropped.

What you thought was only Asmo curling up in his bed was actually a eight years old version of the demon you knew.

“Asmo-” You started to talk not really believing what you were seeing.

“Don’t say anything to my brothers!” Child-Asmo exclaimed tearfully.

You had seen so many weird shit stuff since you entered the Devildom but this one...this one was weird.

Somehow nodding unconsciously you walked towards the door cracked it open and talked to the brothers that were still standing behind it.

“It’s nothing just a bad skin day” You said avoiding to lie as much as possible “He’s just blowing it out of proportion it’s Asmo after all” you added seeing that Lucifer wasn’t convinced.

The eldest brother let out a big sigh and passed his hand on his face tiredly. 

“Everyone let’s go” He said “MC I’m leaving this to you”

Lucifer left immediately followed by Beelzebub, Belphegor, Leviathan and Satan who couldn’t care less about Asmodeus’s skin problems.

Mammon however tried to pry his way into the room his phone in hand muttering something about making a lot of profit.

“MAMMON” Lucifer said menacingly from the end of hallway, whimpering at the silent threat Mammon finally joined his brothers as you closed the door once again.

Asmo was now out his sheets looking at you with teary eyes, which was telling the situation was bad. Asmodeus would do everything to avoid his face looking puffy.

“MC !” He cried out jumping in your arms.

‘Lord Diavolo, he is so light weighted’ you thought silently holding the child.

“How did this happen?” You asked as Asmo nuzzled his head in your neck.

“I don’t know last night I just put this new cream I bought and I woke up like this” He exclaimed his voice muffled by your collarbone.

Looking at the direction Asmo was pointing you saw a little container still open - ‘probably checked it this morning’ you thought - and immediately noticed the small inscription on the back of it. 

Still with Asmo in your arms you walked closer to his vanity and checked the inscription, making sure not to touch it.

‘For a skin as smooth as a baby’s’ It reads and for a second there you thanked the stars that Asmo didn’t turn into an actual baby, only a child...

Yes this was still not so good.

“I think we should call Solomon” you said to Asmo who still weeping in your arms “He may know what to do”

You felt Asmo’s grip on your clothes grow tighter, telling you that he didn’t want Solomon to saw him in this state either but he didn’t oppose to it.

After a small phone call to the sorcerer he agreed to come to let him into the room so he can assess the situation and get the container of cream to see if that can help him whip up something to have Asmo go back to his normal appearance. 

With Solomon come and gone you were now left alone in the room with Asmo who was not crying anymore but who was still hiccuping.

“It’s okay Asmo! Solomon is going to find what to do!” You cheered which seemed to lift his spirit up a bit “But I must ask where did you buy that cream, any store who would sell this sort of thing would have faced Lucifer’s wrath by now wouldn’t it?”

“It was a lesser-demon who sold it in the street ! They were so cute flirting with me, I had to buy it” The small boy explained to you and you felt a bit weird.

“And they say Mammon was stupid” You whispered under your breath.

"MC !” Asmodeus was looking absolutely offended at the idea you could, even for a second, think he was stupider than Mammon.

The child version of the demon was now sitting cross-legged on his bed pouting at you.

‘He looks rather cute’ you thought, you just wanted to squeeze his cheeks and tell him what a sweet little boy he was.

Quickly catching on what you were thinking, Asmo gave you another offended look.

“I’m stopping you right now MC! I may look like a child but I’m not! Think about the sexy fabulous me!” He exclaimed his voice cracking.

But you couldn’t all you saw now was a small boy that you just wanted to adopt as your little brother.

Grinning you just jumped on the bed and grab onto his cheeks and asked him who was the cutest little boy in the world.

Protecting his sides from your tickles, Asmo was giggling while breathlessly telling you to stop and to remember who he was.

Through all the ruckus you barely heard your phone go off as Solomon told you he had found something. Well it was short in time but at least you saw what Asmo looked as a child. You still were glad that you were going to find your Asmo again.

Tyrone

Here’s a furry character I made, im honestly getting invested into those types of babs but i... kinda suck at descriptions lmao, I’ll get better wiht it sooner or later though hopefully

I’ll post Noxis later, gotta just read over his desc again tho bc i cant remember the specific trigger warnings i need to put on his desc so yeye

| Name: Tyrone

| Nicknames: Tyre/Ty

| Gender: He/Him

| Age: N/A

| Height: 7’3”

| Species/Race: Anthropomorphic Dog (Cane Corso is the breed he’s based on)

| Hair style: His hair is essentially just part of his fur- but the fur is slicked back on top of his head to match the rest of his fur really (I mean… Cane Corso fur IS pretty slicked back and not super fuzzy ya know?)

| Eye Color: Caramel Brown

| Fur Color/Body Type: Black and overall he’s pretty average looking, looks a b i t muscular tbh

| Appearance: Let’s start off with the actual appearance instead of the clothing, he got his ears cropped from a young age (where he comes from, it's a mixed thing really, in his pack specifically cropped ears were a rite of passage while to other packs cropped ears were ghastly and considered cruelty but eh to each their own) so now his ears are pointed, he also has a silver earring on the top of his right ear! His teeth are razor sharp and his paw pads are relatively natural coloring a charcoal color, on the middle paw pad of his right paw there is some kind of birthmark there it seems, it’s shaped like a simple circle BUT the birthmark’s meaning is the crucial bit here, it is essentially a high stature sorta thing, only his father has that birthmark of the entire pack, even all the sons and daughters from various litters never held that birthmark, not until Tyrone came along.

His outfit he usually wears is a black leather jacket that has spikes on the shoulder pads with a white t-shirt underneath, he’s got a black collar with a LOT of spikes surrounding it on, more so than the usual spiked collars and they are actually VERY sharp (it’s essentially to protect his neck during fights, I’ll explain that in a bit though) but also it just looks cool, it’s got a bone hanging down the front with his name written in cursive on it, he usually wears charcoal black jeans that are ripped with chains hanging down them (even though his tail is stubby he still cut a hole for it bc that’d still be uncomfy tbh), he doesn’t wear any boots though, boots tend to give him aches while walking.

He’s also got a lot of scars, his most prominent scarring is one on the nose, three over his right eye but he can still see out of it surprisingly, a few long ones near his neck and some old puncture wounds from what looks like dog teeth, and finally claw marks up and down his arms, belly, back, and legs.

Oh btw, even tho he wears a shirt without it you can see he has white patch of fur running down his chest and stomach! Just another lil detail.

| Personality: Tough, stubborn, sometimes a little too cocky for his own good, narcissistic even sometimes? He can be VERY protective and loyal however to the right people/animals, he’s always on high alert of his surroundings and the people around him despite not seeming like he is sometimes, he can be very calm and stable and he USUALLY thinks before he acts but that’s not ALWAYS the case, he can be quiet and reserved sometimes as well but it’s rare, he’s usually pretty much an extrovert although not many people nor other animals approach him, he looks and sounds intimidating as hell and while it CAN be a good thing it can also be a bad thing, deep down he’s a good guy, he’s soft, sweet, kind, and caring! He doesn’t like that most treat him as a terrifying threat or beast, he ain’t about hurting someone just for fun!

The only time he EVER attacks is in self defense OR in defense of the people he cares about, and even then that has to be when he’s ABSOLUTELY pushed to his limit, he’s more so a big referee toward things like fights n shit like that, he’ll body block the two offenders or put himself in front of those he’s trying to protect and usually all he needs to do is speak or growl and that usually sends offenders running off, and even then if they persist he’ll then try giving corrections (corrections are a HUGE thing among his pack) while he won’t actually bite them, he’s going to make a lot of horrifying sounds and act like he’s going to, and usually because to most dogs, not just his pack (yeah corrections are common amongst most dogs too i know) he’ll even go as far as to put someone/another dog especially on their side.

Sure, humans… Are very different and more complex but even then, most of them after being checked by a huge seven foot three dog like him, most will think twice before continuing to try and escalate things. Unfortunately because of his size (he’s the second biggest in his pack, the first being his father likewise) most other dogs, especially ones of his own breed try to challenge him a LOT, and he doesn’t like fighting, usually he ignores these but if they keep on bothering him, he’ll try and give them a warning, aka something like a correction essentially, he’ll tell them very clearly to back off but if they lunge for him or try to go for him at all, then he will NOT hold back, he’s not going to let himself be pushed around or killed just because some dog is butthurt about him being bigger than they are.

| Side Facts: Likewise, his scars have come from SEVERAL fights, some even from his own pack which… His father didn’t take a liking to at all and especially not his mother… His father was the alpha and despite being a male in this situation he actually stepped in quite a lot, however his father was a bit more…

Let’s just say a little more forgiving, his mother was an absolute SPITFIRE, she ruled with an iron fist and she didn’t tolerate ANY bullshit, she’d never hurt any of her pack members nor babies especially but there was no tolerance for certain things and in her pack you HAD to obey the rules whether you liked them or not.

She was MUCH more harsh than his father was with corrections, heh- Tyrone remembers as a pup oh he can’t even COUNT how many times he heard his mom growling, snarling and of course can't count how many times he’s seen her bare her teeth even, she was a no nonsense kind of woman, even toward the puppies she ruled with an iron fist, they were taught along with Tyrone from a very young age how important the rules were and how important energy and certain cues from other dogs were.

Tyrone is very embarrassed however bc the stories his mom always tells were how as a young pup, he was the aggressive little spitfire who didn’t care how big his opponent was, he’d challenge them, try to dominate, and conquer essentially- Nothing was thought through then, in his adolescent years he was always SO damn serious! No play, no nothing! He even growled at the pups trying to play with him! Some little tiny marks that are barely able to be seen came from his mom and dad but, in dog society it’s kinda natural, I mean to be fair, dogs when correcting aren’t like humans, they only have their mouths so when a dog’s correction your BOUND to see a mark here and there.

He does thank his mama for setting him straight though that’s for sure… He sounded like such a handful and even though he has the second highest stature to his father, even he was not safe from the corrections lmao, his mother is actually first in command, father is in second co-command essentially and finally Tyrone is in third- all three of them are p much high ranking, of course since his parents are still living THEY are the alphas but he IS a Beta, the other brothers and sisters being mostly betas and omegas (there are a couple of his brothers n sisters who are also alphas but they are in fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh place- if i ever name his pack I’ll make sure to clarify who is which ranking)

Overall, Tyrone really loves his family, he’d do anything to protect them even if he wanders a lot and doesn’t stay with them the entire time, he does try and visit as often as he can, he knows eventually he’ll track wherever their roaming as well, usually packs stick together but… Given Tyrone’s status and the fact he’s got the birthmark and is high stature his parents are more so lenient with him, they do still worry bout him ofc but still, he was never the type to just sit still, while his other brothers n sisters don’t really care bout leaving the pack he’s ALWAYS been a wandering spirit, so… They’ll let him be free, they’ll still love him nonetheless in the end.

and finally for the forgotten hollow townies, we have my very own family of vampires: the golgothas! if you’ve been around for a while (and i do mean a while, like 2017/2018 a while) then you might remember/recognise these guys from the story i planned out in 44 pages of detail (yes, i care about them that much), started posting, and then completely abandoned. i might revisit these guys one day if inspiration ever strikes, but for now they can exist as one of my townie makeover households. 

so, as always, if you’d like to have these guys in your game then check out the download link below, and if not then i hope that you enjoy reading their little fact files! 

and if you fancy reading the start of their story, or a more in-depth introduction to them, then i’ll link their page on my blog, because even though it was ages ago, i’m still proud of how much effort i put into creating these guys. 

btw, this will probably be another really long post, because not only do i care about these characters greatly, there’s 6 of them, so that’s a lot of fact files to write. you’ve been warned haha!

download: simfileshare

i hope you’re well! <3

victor golgotha:

totally embodies that stoic, ‘man of the house’ attitude - he’s very protective over his family and often feels it’s his responsibility to be the rock that keeps them all grounded (even though that’s really morwenna’s realm of expertise, but knowing that would do nothing for his ego...)

lowkey broke up his entire family by arguing with, and eventually disowning, his brother (mortimer goth), something which his mother never forgave him for, even on her deathbed - his father, walter, stays around so that victor can keep an eye on him, but really walter knows that it’s victor who needs the help

was once quite the romantic; after all, he was willing to give up everything he had to be with morwenna: his love of garlic, his vanity, not to mention his mortality...

morwenna golgotha:

grew up as the third eldest of six children in a large, illustrious family of vampires - she had it all: the pressure to live up to her parents’ ridiculously high expectations, the stuffy older brothers, spoilt younger sisters and even a force engagement in order to grow the family’s status

eventually cracked under all the pressure her family piled on her and broke away from tradition to elope with the unapproved love of her life, leaving her arranged fiancé, vladislaus straud, in the dust - it took a lot of bravery to cut off all the security that came with her family’s reputation and wealth, but now that she has a family and a fortune of her own she’s never looked back

after years of travelling for business, she finally feels that it’s time for the family to return to their roots and find a sense of permanence instead of flitting from hotel suite to hotel suite - their manor has all the gothic glamour she could dream of, but staying in one place makes it all the more likely that her old flame and the family’s largest rival will track them down...

sterling golgotha: 

the eldest golgotha child by all of eight minutes and highly favoured, especially out of him and his twin sister, november, much to her dismay - he does feel guilty about the blatant favouritism sometimes, but he feels the pressure his parents put on him as the eldest, and only male, sibling is punishment enough

has one of those super magnetic personalities - everyone he meets is just drawn to him and that charming smile of his can win over even the toughest of critics - and that’s before his buckets of charisma are brought into the equation

helplessly romantic, like one look and he’ll be head-over-heels, practically drooling at your feet - he’s very trusting of his instincts and is not afraid to act on his impulses, regardless of consequences or the opinions of others - so really, if he feels a spark he’s more than willing to drop everything and propose on the spot

november golgotha:

sterling must have sucked up all the charisma in the womb, because if there’s anything that november struggles with then it’s connecting with others - after a lifetime of living in her brother’s shadow she’s never been able to have her voice be heard over his, so after a while she gave up trying and hasn’t opened up to a single soul since

forever bitter about being the ‘forgotten middle child’ and has practically resigned herself to a life of resentment and jealousy - her melancholy attitude isn’t exactly helping to change anyone’s mind either; her disposition is anything but sunny, so more often than not she sits stewing in her own misery instead of, you know, actually talking to anyone

and before you ask, no, her birthday is not in november - her name is just one more thing for her to sulk about - her parents clearly had their favourites picked from the start: one a type of precious metal, one a symbol for angels... and then there’s gloomy little november...

halo golgotha:

baby of the household and is spoilt to no end by her parents - they weren’t sure they’d have any more children after they had the twins, so when halo came along to be the daughter they never felt they had after neglecting november for so many years, little halo was a blessing (hence the name)

as much as she likes the attention from her parents, it can get a little much sometimes, which is why she often finds herself gravitating towards her grandfather, walter - she absolutely adores him and all his stories, but she loves his cheerful spirit more than anything else; he always knows how to cheer her up or make her laugh with his jokes and stories, not to mention the pranks they set up for the other members of the household...

being showered with love and affection from the moment she took her first breath has meant that she’s lived a rather sheltered life - her hand has been held every step of the way, so she’s never learned to make mistakes, or how to grow from them - come to think of it, halo’s never really had the opportunity to learn who she is in her own right...but she can’t just stay her parents’ little angel forever, that has to change eventually

walter golgotha:

the only mortal in the household - although it was quite the shock when his son broke the news that he’d eloped and was undergoing the transformation process of becoming a vampire, walter has always been extremely level-headed and wasn’t about to let that change, especially with such fragile family dynamic already

more often than not, he’s the only voice of reason too - everyone else has such strong personalities and intense emotions that it doesn’t take much for situations to get out of hand, so his calming presence is vital for ensuring that the chaos levels stay relatively low - maybe that’s why he’s stuck around with them for so long

very young at heart - he’s a total goofball and is always joking around with halo, something his much more sombre son would never consider - he and his late wife, miriam, were always so free-spirited and cheerful, it’s hard to understand how attitudes could shift so dramatically from one generation to the next - but, then again, he’s not a vampire, so what does he know?

Gretel & Hansel: White people, hear me!

I know, I know, some of y'all were hoping that my next review would be Taylor Swift's "Miss Americana". 

I'm sorry to disappoint you. Why and how is she still making movies anyway? I thought that everyone associated with "Cats" had been banned from Hollywood.

Now, it WOULD be cool, if Taylor got involved in Horror. I'm thinking that a bunch of horror monsters could get together to track her down; kinda like a contest. They would, you know... do their thing to her, and then bring her back from the dead in the sequel, and repeat the process. Every now and then, they could throw in Justin Bieber or someone else with his same level of annoyance. BOOM! Franchise! So, donate to Praphit Productions (millions), so I can make that happen. I'll just CG Taylor Swift in, if I have to; I'm sure she'd be ok with that.

Just picture Jason Voorhees or Kanye West chasing her.

No, people, I'm here to talk to y'all about Hansel & Gretel!

No, no, no, I'm sorry! "Gretel and Hansel!"

I almost forgot about that blow up in their studio. Y'all remember that?

Sophia Lillis' (who plays Gretel - SHE’S GREAT IN THIS-BTW) first day on the set was raw! 

She walked up to the director and was like "Bleep this bleep! Who is Hansel? Who the bleep is he?! No one knows that actor! What is he, like 5 years old? Bleep him! How is his name first?! So, a woman can't lead a man, huh??! It's always gotta be Hansel first, right?! And what always happens?! That witch bitch always tries to eat them! Bleep that! Y'all know who I is! I'm Sophia bleeping Lillis! I was in "It" one AND two. What has "Sammy Leakey" (playing Hansel) been in??!

Not a damned thing! I want my name first! You will put it first or so help me God, I will UNLEASH THE FURY!"

Director (Oz Perkins): "I actually like that idea"

SL: "I don't give a bleep what you like! Just make it happen!" 

Then, she went to her trailer, and when she came back out, it was "Gretel & Hansel".

(Hansel’s not even in the shot. Lillis was too raw for him.)

Let's see if Gretel fairs better in this story, now that she's getting the chance to lead.

We all know this Brothers Grimm story. There's a family (I don't know what Gretel & Hansel's last name is... we'll just say "Shakur"). So, the Shakur Family was struck by a famine in the land. Stuff happens, and G & H end up off on their own, in the woods, and eventually meet up with a witch, who later tries to eat them.

White people, hear me! Are you listening? STOP GOING INTO THE WOODS! Seriously, STOP! I'm trying to save you. Black people know better, but y'all... smh. I know y'all like to go hiking, and camping, and taking selfies on mountain tops and shit, but PLEASE... STOP! Nothing good is waiting for you out there!

Quit going into the woods to get footage of alleged monsters/spirits. Quit going into the woods to spend the night in cabins. Quit going into the woods to party on the anniversary of the night that 12 people were mysteriously murdered in those same woods. STOP!

JUST STOP! DAMN!

Some of you might be thinking, "Well maybe Gretel will make it. Maybe now that she's leading the duo, things will be different." Nope, she's white... *sigh* so we all know what she and Hansel did...  went right into the woods.

This movie is mainly from Gretel's perspective. Right from the jump, we see Gretel being pimped out by her mama. Gretel of course declines to become a professional hoe, but when she comes back to her mama for a possible different direction in life, Mama is like "Would it have killed you to get on your knees for your family?! We're starving!"

I know - Mom of the Year.

Dad isn't even around. I may have missed something, but I don't remember where he was, or if maybe he ran away, a long time ago. One of those "Daddy went to get a pack of cigs, and never came back" scenarios. He may be off in a land flowing with Big Macs and Fries, Idk. Or maybe, being that his "selfish" daughter wouldn't put-out, he decided to get to work on the corner himself. Who knows where he was in this movie??

Gretel was def tough though. And she loved her brother! She was very protective of him. There is a scene where there's some sort of vampire creature chasing down Hansel, and Gretel stands up to the creature. That's the type of character that she is in this movie. She's smart, tough, and though sometimes hard on her bro, she loves him very much.

Hansel on the other hand is annoying as shit. And Dumb! Man, is he dumb! I'm surprised that we never see Gretel slap him. But, she is always able to compose herself in the midst of her annoying brother, and keep the journey going. She even calms him down at one point with some drugs. They end up eating some shrooms on their trip. Now, THAT'S love, people! Seeing someone in need of calming the bleep down, and offering them some good shit. What's a road trip without a moment when the group gets high??

There's a Lando-looking character that they meet along the way. 

He doesn't have much of a role in this movie. I'm not saying it's because he's black, BUT he's a fascinating, noble character, who's black and barely in the movie. And they do not trust him at all. I'm not saying it's because he's black... you know what?? - YES! Yes I am saying that!

He saves their lives, offers them food and shelter, and gives them specific instructions that will keep them safe. But, after that (the only character so far that has had G & H's best interests in mind), Gretel immediately questions his motives. White women, hear me! If a black man willingly sticks out his neck for you, IN THE DARKNESS, in order to save YOUR life, that's a man that you can trust. Cuz we (black men) all know, that if we try to save a white woman out in public (even if we succeed), there's a good chance that the cops will still swing by to shoot us. They're thinking just like Gretel is in this movie - "I know it LOOKS like they saved her, but... can we really trust him? - let's shoot him just in case." Granted, this Landoish character sends them off (again with instructions for their safety). They had no quarrels about leaving (and quickly).

So, they runaway from the compassionate black man, who just saved them, and they meet an old lady (the witch) who has black fingers, and house smells a lil like death... and they say to themselves "Let's sleep here!" Ain't that some shit??! 

White people, HEAR ME!

STOP!

They don't even question her black fingers, they just let her handle their food. I question people of whom I don't know, with normal fingers, handling my food, but... I guess that's just me.

Then, the rest of the story is legend.

The production design in this movie is absolutely amazing! If this film had no dialogue, and was just silent, it still would have been a beautiful movie (despite the cannibalism:)

The plot, I felt, was secondary to the cinematography.

Some of you might say, "Well that's nice and all, but is the movie scary? Does the witch, at some point, rev-up a chainsaw, and chase the two kids around her house?" No. "Ok, but does the movie, at some point, have little, pale Asian kids making creepy noises at H & G while they're trying to sleep?" NO! "Yeah, but is there some sort of human centipede action happening in the basement of the witch, and she tries to..."

NO! NO! HELL NO! What's wrong with y'all?!

No, none of that. The story that The Brothers Grimm have painted is horrifying enough. Famine and crappy parenting, leading to witch who wants to eat you... I'd say that's all that's required; the director knows this.

They don't need to use any gimmicks, just the same story (pretty much), a lil dark magic, the mentioned cinematography, and well-placed spooky music keep the movie in a consistent place of dread.

I think RT got this one wrong (59%). I don't have much bad to speak of, concerning this movie. I can't give it an A grade, due to it being a copy of a story that we've seen copied many times before. Plus, there are some ending issues I have with it, that I'll get to in a sec. BUT, this film is a hell of a B grade :)

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WARNED YOU!

A few things:

Soooooo, Gretel has some sort of connection to the witch that is never explained. Apparently, she has within her, the same powers as the witch.

She ends up sending her bro off to Lord knows where. She sends him off on a horse that she says she SPOKE TO, and he (the horse) will get Hansel there (where? who knows??) safely. So, she's talking the animals now?? When did she pick-up that skill? And where the bleep did she even get a horse?

There's some super grease that her and the witch use to do magic, that is never explained.

Now, none of this took away from my enjoyment of the film, but... still though.

There's a message of false empowerment at the end. Like I said, she abandons her brother, so that she can... fulfill her destiny or something. She has dark magic in her, but she is convinced that she'll use it for good. Like I said, Gretel is a SMART character... what happened to all of that smart? It's like saying "Hey, I have this STD, but instead of tending to it, I'm going to use my STD for good. It's going to be hard, but I've gotta be strong."

WHAT?!

I said "false empowerment". The movie isn't painting a picture of this being a good thing, but the "false" part is subtle enough to where people could walk away thinking it's an empowering message.

You abandoned your brother to become a witch! But, maybe I'm not being fair. Perhaps Gretel will be just fine. Throughout the history of human beings, we've had many people who were in power, and who thought that not allowing their power to be checked was the brave and noble thing to do. I think those times in history all worked out well right??

I could have added some pics to accentuate my last statement, but I feel it might have been a little too real:)

So, instead I'll leave y'all with this slightly less horrifying pic

... and bid you adieu.

STAY OUT OF THE WOODS!

Run Away With Me

Pairing: Sandor Clegane/The Hound x reader

Summary: Request from anon: Can I request a fic where reader is betrothed and right before her wedding Sandor reveals his feelings to her (maybe some angst in there somewhere?)

Warnings: language

Notes: A very short imagine. I could have made this a whole lot longer and it would have turned out better, but I didn’t have the time; oh well. Btw Matheo Tully isn't an actual character in GoT, I created him for the purpose of this situation. Enjoy!

Feedback is appreciated x

Being Highborn has always been something you had seen as a blessing. But when it came to the rules and obligations, you sometimes wish you were a lowborn, in charge of your own life. You wanted to experience the real way of living, working for a salary and being a part of and contributing to a community. As a Highborn you felt like a statue, a face of wealth and power. You had been doing nothing all your life, just sitting in your room waiting for the day you would gather up all of your courage and run away from your noble house.

As every Highborn daughter in Westeros, your parents had betrothed you to another Highborn to ensure your family's power and inheritance. The man you are to marry is Matheo Tully, the son of Hoster Tully, Lord of Riverrun. Matheo is to become Lord of House Tully and Riverrun after his father, and you as his wife will become Lady of Riverrun. He was the oldest of the four Tully children, though he wasn't exactly a child anymore. He was quite a lot older than you, almost the same age as your parents. You had heard rumors about Matheo, how he liked his girls young and pure, and his constant need for control. It saddened you, the thought of your parents only choosing your husband with money and power in mind. And the fact that you had absolutely no say in it.

The day you had been waiting for your whole life was finally here. The day of your wedding. You weren't sure if you were looking forward to it. You were just excited for it to be over with. The sun was shining through your bedroom window. You were looking down at everyone running around preparing the wedding. Nobles from all over Westeros were coming to your town to witness the ceremony that will bond you and Matheo in spirit for life. 

Though the marriage would bring you great power and wealth, it was not what your heart desired. When your parents had told you about the marriage to Matheo, your heart had sunk. You knew you were to be betrothed at some point, you had always known, ever since you were a child, but for some reason, it felt unexpected and you didn't feel ready. 

Sandor Clegane had been one of the many guards of your house for a long time by now. He had been by your side for years, protecting you from harm, making sure you were alive and well. Over the years you had gotten to know each other very well, and you had come to grow quite fond of the big, grumpy man.

Sandor didn't know about the love you had for him. You doubted he felt anything towards you, considering his constant cold and harsh attitude. You had given the matter a lot of thought; he had opened up to you about his troubled past, and you almost knew for sure you were the only one in the whole city that knew of the horrid things he had been through, but that doesn't mean the man was in love with you. The thought saddened you. Even if the love had been mutual, your parents would never let you marry a lowborn. The more you dwelled on the thoughts concerning your love for Sandor, the more hopeless you felt. The love you felt for him didn’t benefit you in any way, and it never could. You were better off just forgetting about him. When you wed Matheo, you’re going to move to Riverrun to live with him to live as the Lord and Lady of Riverrun. Sandor will be staying here. You will never get to see him again. It’s for the best. You can’t let a lowborn stop your inheritance.

As you dwelled even more on the thoughts, the thought of leaving Sandor behind broke your heart. Every time you spent time with him, you completely forgot about everything bothering you. You felt as if you were ready to leave your House to run away and be with him at any moment.

You were sitting by the window, enjoying the warm sun on your skin as you heard the bells ring. It was time. The maids had just left the room after doing your hair and putting you into your wedding gown. It was long and white with beautiful embroidery. A knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts.

“Come in,” you said. Your mother came in. She gasped as she saw you.

"You look beautiful dear," she said. She walked closer to you and took your hands in hers. "This is going to be good, we have chosen the perfect husband for you. He is wealthy, and he will be a very powerful man one day." You just sighed in response, there wasn't anything you could say to make the situation better. "Are you ready? The guests are waiting."

"Yes, just give me a second," you replied. Your mother let go of your hands and headed out the door. You stood up and readied yourself, you brushed off your dress and took a few deep breaths and headed out your bedroom door. Outside your room was Sandor in his armor. You stopped in your tracks. Your heart and stomach sank at the sight of the man. You just wanted to throw yourself into his arms for a big hug, you felt so overwhelmed.

"I'll be taking you down to the ceremony," he said quietly and straightened his back. His eyes were on your dress, but you couldn't read his expression.

"Bit much, isn't it?" you said jokingly referring to your big gown, trying to lighten the mood. "No, milady, you look... beautiful, as ever," he said and finally looked you in your eyes. You smiled and felt your cheeks redden.

"Thanks. And you know not to call me milady. You just do that when you're nervous or stressed out," you stated and grinned. He just huffed at you with a slight grin on his lips.

"Are you ready?" Sandor said, breaking the silence.

You looked up at him and hesitated a bit before answering. "No. But I don't have much of a choice."

"You could run away," he suggested. You chuckled at him.

"Right, let's go," you said and walked over to his side to link arms with him, ignoring his comment. The two of you walked in silence to where the ceremony was being held. The closer you got to the ceremony, the louder the sounds of talking and laughter got, and the more your stomach tickled. Just as you were about to round the corner for the ceremony, you stopped in your tracks.

"I just need a second. This is all getting to me," you said and took a deep breath. Sandor stood himself in front of you, his familiar presence calming you down at once.

"I was serious when I said you could run away. That old grouch won't do you no good, you know that. You're just doing this to please your parents. Do something for you for once, take control of your own life," he said and put his hand on your chin, making you look him in the eyes. "Run away. With me. You and I both know that deep down, that's what you want. That's what I want. I love you Y/N, you know I do. I always have."

His words were sudden and surprising, but they felt so familiar and safe. His words were few but so full of love and care. Sandor was a man of few words and even fewer feelings, so you knew his feelings were genuine, and that it would take a lot of him to confess like this. The tickling in your stomach increased, but it was a pleasant kind of tickle. It was warm and fuzzy, spreading heat throughout your whole body. You couldn't help but smile. The thought of the two of you together, alone, living in a house in a village together. That's all you've ever wanted.

"I love you," you said, your voice breaking. But then suddenly the thought of your family came rushing back. You couldn't just leave them. "I want to, so bad, more than anything, but I can't leave my family."

Sandor sighed. "Tomorrow morning, after your wedding, you'll be sent off to live in Riverrun with Matheo," he said calmly. He was right, your parents were going to send you away. It was now or never. A life with Matheo, the old possessive man with great power and fortune, or Sandor, the man that had cared for you for years, and the man you had loved for what seemed like an eternity. The choice was simple really.

You felt a lump in your throat and the tears push on at the thought of Sandor wanting to run away with you. You stood up on your tippy toes and wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his lips with passion. You had wanted to do this for as long as you could remember. He kissed you back and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss.

As the kiss broke, you gave him your answer.

"Let's go grab our things and get out of this shit town."

RWBY Volume 6 Vocal Songs review

Well, we finally have it people- the Volume 6 soundtrack is out. And hopefully this time Spotify mains won’t feel left in the corner like the Ladybug fandom does during the inter-RWBY shipping discussions.

I’ll say overall I adored the songs this year and there weren’t any duds- in fact this is probably my new overall favorite lyric soundtrack since Volume 4, which was just overflowing with bangers. This year was similarly jam-packed, with every new song being the usual outstanding fare that RWBY has become known for.

... and then there’s the remixes which continue to be absolutely awful and will never go onto my playlists but this is the token mention of the remixes. Why do they keep doing them, the only good one’s been Sacrifice.

But regardless, this is my review of all the vocal songs in Volume 6. Enjoy! (forward warning I’m not a music critic so don’t expect anything too deep here)

All GIFs were made by @edelblume​, someone actually proficient in talking musical theory.

1) Rising

Rising was already one of my favorite openings to date for RWBY, if for no other reason than the superb opening animation itself. But fortunately, the song itself more than met my expectations. Featuring an incredibly strong riff from Jeff from Alex along with a surprising synth appearance in places, Rising kicks off the soundtrack with gusto, a defiant acknowledgement that their road is faced with a permeating darkness, but it won’t last, and much as nature simply knows how to be, they were born with the knowledge to do the right thing and stand against evil. For they are paragons, and death can’t hold them down for long. After years of ranking Time To Say Goodbye as my favorite opening of the show, Rising supplants it and takes its new spot on the throne.

2) Miracle

Miracle was a surprise- for the first time since Volume 3 and It’s My Turn, we got a new song in the premiere alongside the opening itself, capping off RWBY, Oscar and Qrow’s desperate struggle to buy the Argus Limited time to escape with its civilian cargo. It’s a much bleaker song than Rising, coming right as the heroes are about to have their senses of morality tested by the truths that Ozpin had been hiding from them for years. Miracle laments how they’re running out of time and that their own triumphs don’t matter- a reckoning is near and they have to answer the question of whether or not the path they’ve been walking was the right one, or just one made of lies. As the heroes scramble for a miracle, they’re dismayed to find that none’s in sight, but as they realize they’re fighting on the sight of light and all that’s good in the world, they’re determined to stand and fight until their miracle arrives.

Miracle can be seen as a proper theme song for the first half of Volume 6, as it more deeply examines the themes of the volume, especially the team’s inner conflict. The final verse especially can be seen as almost an abridging of the Brunswick arc, as the team reach their lowest points and despair at how nothing they do is worth anything before they take a breather and decide that even if the end time are coming, they’ll face it head on and give it a bloody nose before it consumes everything, still hoping for that miracle to arrive- just like a young silver eyed girl arrived in Brunswick to cleanse its tainted halls of apathy. 

Miracle was a surprising song back in October last year, and now that it’s out in full it’s honestly my favorite song lyrically on the track. It’s a perfect assessment of the situation the heroes wind up in this volume, capping off with their blunt refusal to let the end take them quietly. 

3) Lionized

I know they spell it Lionize but I don’t care, they say Lionized in the song for Christ’s sake! 

I’ve been waiting for this song for nearly an entire year since RTX and the short that won me back onto RWBY, and fortunately Lionized didn’t disappoint. Adam finally got his solo song to bow out his character after sharing From Shadows with Blake, and much like his character short, it offers a compelling, if truncated, account of his rise and fall into darkness. 

While Amity Arena’s bio had already revealed Adam’s early life to be horrific- born into slavery in an SDC dust mine, dreaming of looking up at the sky with his own two eyes one day- Lionized also makes no point of hiding the details, having the lyrics open with Adam reflecting on how he was “Insulted and reviled, Enthralled by human overlords since I was a child” (which gives off serious vibes of Adam being a sex abuse victim as a child to me and Jesus Christ). That punishment broke Adam and drove him mad in his desire to make humanity pay for what it had done to him and the hundreds of thousands of Faunus in those mines. 

Jeff kills it in this song- it’s easily my new favorite solo from him as we get a deep dive into what drove Adam past the brink of madness, as his revenge dovetails into building him up and making him more of a figurehead than an actual hero- “Watch them fall as I am glorified,” “You’ll see, I’m their hero/I’m here, I’m your savior, I’ll be lionized!” And the guitars are something else, a constantly churning ripping and shredding beat that combines with Jeff’s voice sounds like a feral animal about to attack. And if there’s one way to get me hype for a villain in anime, grab some guitars and start shredding. 

While Miracle might be my favorite song of the OST on a lyrical level, Lionized just knows how to get me hyped and this’ll probably be the one that gets the most replays on my playlist. It captures the old spirit of RWBY’s original music and delivers with a rip-roaring track that matches its narrators madness with shredding gusto.

4) Big Metal Shoe

I had no expectations for Big Metal Shoe. In fact I figured this would be the weak link of the soundtrack. Surely what seemed to just be a diss track at a villain I wasn’t especially fond of wouldn’t make for a good song, right?

And then we got Caffeine 2.0 and... it was actually kinda good. Again, I’m a simple man- throw some guitars at me and I’ll smile and nod like a kid watching fireworks. This sound wound up being a fun little darkhorse for the soundtrack, alongside a seeming self-imposed challenge by Williams and Abraham to make as many fairytale references in two and 3/4 minutes as physically possible. 

There is one downside though- this song’s actually incomprehensible. I don’t understand half of it. Jeff and Casey have this problem a lot of the time where it’s hard to understand them but this is just peak “Are you even speaking English anymore?” And then Lamar shows up for the Token Lamar Rap Verse that every RWBY OST includes and then it gets even worse.

While I wasn’t expecting much from Big Metal Shoe, it still made for a fun few minutes. Now I can’t wait for Flynt’s lyric video so I understand most of the song! 

5) Forever Fall

RWBY’s track record with ballads can be generously described as “hit or miss.” For every Cold or Home, we have Wings or All That Matters. Forever Fall has a crucial advantage over those weaker examples in that I actually like most of the characters featured in the song. Being about Pyrrha encouraging Jaune from beyond the veil while Jaune struggles to press on, much as she did in the Boundless Jaune Amity Arena bio, it’s a somber tune, and easily one of the better attempts Jeff and Casey have made at a slower, more quiet song. I’m not the biggest fan of how RWBY has handled Pyrrha’s death since Volume 3, sometimes it feels a little like they keep JNR around just to more easily have access to angst fuel for it, but Forever Fall definitely helped set the bitter stage for the statue scene, which does still stand as one of the better scenes of Volume 6 (even if it does lose some of its weight once you realize Pyrrha probably wouldn’t have actually liked the statue due to her hatred of being put on a pedestal). Casey knocks it out of the park with her voice and the piano plays a beat on many a fan’s heart. 

I’m especially fond of the theory that this isn’t so much a Pyrrha singing to Jaune song as it’s a song that can symbolise both of them at the same time. Credit to the crew for that.

6) One Thing

Neo’s far from my favorite character in RWBY, and I’ve made no secret of how I think she’s dreadfully overhyped outside of being a good luck charm for well animated fights. Luckily for her and fans then, her charm status made it into Maya unscathed, and Neo was protected by the universal rule of soundtracks.

The villain songs are always really fucking good.

Casey finally lives out her dream of voicing Neo in One Thing, a bitter revenge fantasy where Neo makes no reservations about how much she’ll love putting down anyone and everyone responsible for Roman’s death. She talks (heh) of how she had nothing before Roman came- not a voice, not a home, maybe not even a name if I’m hearing that one line right. “Then a brand new flame brought a brand new name.” 

Add in a badass as all hell chorus and Neo jumped up a few places in my personal RWBY polls thanks to the presentation of her musical debut alone, to say nothing of her fantasies about killing Cinder (can relate). One Thing shows just how effective a great song can be, setting the scene for a fantastic fight scene, a solid return for a fandom-beloved character and then even making someone who considered her the Boba Fett of RWBY start to like her. I’m eager to learn more of Neo’s past before she met Roman, whenever that day comes.

(btw is it bad if I kinda ship Neo and Roman now?)

7) Nevermore

I don’t have a lot to add that hasn’t been said since the finale aired- it’s a pretty great song and a fantastic closer for the volume, I hope Atlas means we finally stop getting Blake or Yang-focused credit songs because this was the third in a row and it’s getting tiring, the disconnect between the writers and actors calling Adam “the worst” while the songs and bios paint a far more complex picture is a bit of an odd disconnect that I hope doesn’t repeat if they ever remember that Cinder’s an abuser too. 

8) Armed and Ready Acoustic

Nice song, shame it’s gonna get ruined by all the fucking Beehaw/Yorse jokes. You weren’t funny in February, you’re not funny now. You’re not even worth a comment about beating a dead horse. Not sure I like the acoustic going full country but whatever. Wake me up when I’m The One gets the acoustic treatment.

9) Indomitable

Indomitable was the song I was probably the most hyped for in the V6 OST alongside or even surpassing Lionized. Ruby’s Silver Eyes scene was a strong contender for the best scene of the season and single-handedly made up for what otherwise could have been a Breach-level anticlimax of a finale, and part of what made it work was Indomitable, the short but powerful song that played as Ruby gave Bubbles The Leviathan both ocular barrels. Ruby finally getting a song after five straight albums was ambrosia to my soul, after years of having to make due with “Maybe Ruby’s song is meant to be the OP?” as Weiss, Blake and Yang got song after song after song, oftentimes getting multiple songs in a single year (Hi Yang. Stop hogging the jukebox. Please.). Finally, I thought, she’d get a track, and one that appeared to be about her accepting her role as the light standing against the darkness, all capped off with a beautiful quiet tribute to Monty in the form of his old blog quotes about the human spirit.

So I must admit, when I listened to Indomitable proper, I was... disappointed on the first listen. It’s still a lovely song, but it wasn’t what I hoped and wanted it to be and it took a little while to appreciate it in spite of that.

Indomitable is a tribute song to Monty, a la Cold from Volume 3. But while Cold had a double meaning that made it work in and out of universe (being a song from CRWBY mourning Monty that could also reflect on Jaune mourning Pyrrha), Indomitable is far less connected to RWBY in-universe unless Ruby had a dream offscreen where she met a tired looking guy who made worlds based off his ketchup stains then woke up and made a Christian Rock song out of it. 

Rather sadly for me at least, this also hurts the original Indomitable scene in question as well. It doesn’t truly fit the original scene now, as much as it did when we thought the song was about Ruby recognizing her spirit. It was a great way to cap off a volume that was overall great for Ruby. As she finally got to take center stage as protagonist in her own show, we finally got a new song about her standing unyielding against the darkness. What was a great character moment for Ruby has now rather sadly been hurt by the song. Not terribly, I still love the climax of Volume 6. But now the song just feels a touch out of place.

I know some people have already been rather critical of anyone who didn’t like the song because it wasn’t what they wanted (I’ve seen a fair few people express disappointment that the song wasn’t the Ruby-focused song the chorus and placement in the show led us to believe) and that tired old “subverting expectations” argument came up. To which I must reply that “What did you expect me to take from a song showing up during Ruby’s most powerful moment, that the song was actually about Port?” While what we got was still a powerful song that makes for an interesting trilogy of songs of RWBY dealing with Monty’s death in Cold, Let’s Just Live and Indomitable, I think Ruby’s fanbase especially are very fairly allowed to be disappointed that they were stripped of the chance to finally get her first focus song in half a decade. Instead we get another Ruby song where she’s not even the real focus (much like Blake’s trailers get hijacked by her supporting cast, Ruby’s songs get hijacked by anyone within a mile of the recording booth),  

I still liked Indomitable, and it does become a stellar song after the first chorus.. It still has Ruby’s overall attitude and the lyrics do still allow one to reflect on Ruby and her growth over Volumes 1-3 and 6. It’s a lovely, touching and very emotional tribute to Monty and a rousing anthem to celebrate his legacy (wait does this mean Indomitable breaks the Monty Rule? ;) ) and had it been a simple bonus track that we only learned about when the OST dropped a la BMBLB or Dream Come True it would have been a lot better in my opinion. We still got a lovely song and in the heat of the moment, it worked really well for Ruby. But at this point, I really just want a new inarguable Ruby song above all else, and this probably should have been kept as a bonus song instead of being used in-show. Still good, but I’m just a bitter bitch and wanted something else

Conclusion and ranking

Volume 6′s vocal tracks were a near-perfect selection this year. After Volume 5′s tracklist was more comparatively disappointing (Smile and This Time are the only ones I’d really go back to at this point), the V6 tracklist was far more impressive and a near constant streak of home runs. While Indomitable wasn’t what I hoped and wanted it to be, it was still a touching tribute to Monty and proof that his soul lives on in RWBY. If Jeff, Alex and Casey are as on fire next year as they were this year, the wait for the Volume 7 OST will be even more painful. Round of applause for the music team this year, they did a stellar job and I wish them all the best for Volume 7. 

1) Miracle 2) Lionized 3 One Thing 4) Rising 5) Forever Fall 6) Nevermore 7) Indomitable 8) Acoustic Armed and Ready  9) Big Metal Shoe 10) The music that played during Merc and Em’s scene in Lost.  10) The godawful Triumph and Path to Isolation remixes. Please. Leave the songs alone, I hate Volume 5 but even it didn’t deserve that torture. 

Thank you for reading. 

So because I can, I’m going to basically pick and choose from various vampire canons in terms of lore, abilities etc. to create my particular preferences for my oc Alexander.  ATM, they go as follows:

he can walk about in sunlight for very limited amounts of time if he is fully fed, otherwise unharmed, mainly because of his extensive age, but we’re really only talking minutes rather than hours - it is not a pleasant experience and it’s really only a parlor trick he pulls out when he absolutely has to make an appearance or has a meeting that cannot be otherwise handled / postponed / etc. he can last about fifteen minutes before suffering external trauma after twenty minutes it’s noticeable to most anyone and while he could probably survive being stuck outside for a full day it would take years and ridiculous amounts of blood to restore his health unless some other magical intervention or extremely powerful blood was available to heal him.  (i may opt for him having a daylight / daywalking ring or brooch or necklace at some point later but i haven’t quite decided).

he has super speed, strength, agility, has skin that is extremely hard to penetrate but not impossible, he can climb walls and leap extreme distances, he is capable of moving at speeds impossible for the human eye to track and he can fly but does not change shapes or turn into a bat or smoke etc.

he does not have to sleep in the earth, or in a coffin, but he does have earth of his homeland in most of his permanent estates and does have sunlight proof /fire proof rooms below ground in most of them as well, and does have things like sun proof windows / curtains / shutters etc. installed in his many residences.  when traveling he has safe guards like his own curtains to hang in his rooms, will sleep under the bed or in closets etc. if necessary.  

he can glamour / hypnotize / command people to his control, to make them do anything for the most part, he’s only met a few in his 4000 years that have been able to resist him.  he cannot glamour other vampires unless they have fed on his blood / are off his bloodline.

he can create ‘ghouls’ aka humans or animals that feed on his blood and this allows him to better control them, manipulate them, for them to sense his intentions and desires if the bond is strong enough, to know if he is in danger etc. extended exposure to his blood concretes the bond of ghoul to master to the point that they would do anything to protect him / to make him happy (renfield etc.) even killing themselves or loved ones to keep him safe.  this bond also allows him to sense their emotions, if it goes on long enough to read their thoughts.  the humans / animals that feed on his blood become stronger, faster, more intelligent, require less sleep, have more stamina, heal faster, etc. the blood is an addiction and can lead to some detrimental side effects if he with holds it or if the ghoul is unable to be fed for some other reason - he often has stashes of his blood stored in his estates for servants or his current paramour in case he doesn’t return before they need a ‘refill’ - usually once a month is enough to maintain / further strengthen the bond.  

he does have a soul per se but if his humanity / attachments to the world lessen beneath a certain level then it’s pretty much the same as turning off humanity or losing his soul and it takes about four times as much effort to creep up that ladder back towards ‘human’ than it does to fall down the ladder.  he’s gone up and down over his many years but very rarely has he succumbed to the darker nature of his species for long.  he prefers to hover at a middle ground, being more immoral than evil, content to linger in the very murky grey, neither very good, nor very evil.

he can eat human food and drink but it does nothing to sate his actual hunger.

he can survive quite some time without blood because of his age but he relishes in the act of feeding and will usually feed at least once a night because… he can.  a few drops of his blood on the wound seals the bite marks and a quick glamour makes the victim forget all about it.  he rarely kills anymore unless it’s necessary to protect himself, his property, etc. or if he’s entirely too riled up - though that’s a fairly rare occurrence.

his eyes are preternaturally dark, but usually that’s just written off as one of his traits - they can gleam a crimson sheen when he’s feeding or extremely angry or lustful etc. but it isn’t something most people see, or would notice unless looking for it specifically.

his fangs retract and protract at his behest, he has four elongated upper canines and two elongated lower canines.  

to create a childer he must drain them to the point of death and feed them his own blood, then bury them in the earth and wait for them to rise.  

a stake to the heart, prolonged exposure to fire or sunlight, beheading are the most efficient ways to kill him though he’s survived quite a long time and is faster and stronger than most of his species, especially the modern generation whose blood has been so diluted / weakened over the millennia.  each generation of vampire created is a little bit ‘less’ than the one before it etc.

garlic, holy water, silver, crosses etc. have no effect on him.

yes he can have sex, no, he can’t father children biologically though he has adopted and raised children throughout the ages.

he casts a reflection & can be caught on film / photography / video.

he is affected by drugs, alcohol, poisons but on a much, much, much smaller degree than humans because his metabolism is practically nonexistent as he doesn’t actually absorb human food or drinks.  the only things that his body can actually absorb are blood, so anything that might mingle with his blood has a very, very minor effect on him.  human diseases by and large do not effect him as his blood is strong enough and powerful enough to simply eat away at any imperfections in any blood he might drink.  he can become affected by drugs and alcohol in the system of the humans / other vampires he feeds off of and if he’s looking for an actual buzz / high he’ll go find someone already intoxicated or drugged to feed off of.  while the buzz doesn’t last as long for him as humans, it still affects him until he has used up / burned through the blood.

he does not have a discernible heartbeat and he does not require breath, though he does breathe.  

while he is not bound by the need for earth from his homeland for normal sleep and recuperation, if he is badly damaged or enters a state of torpor being stored in a casket in the earth from greece or in greece itself does increase his speed of healing.

he can choose to go into a state of slumber for long periods of time, with something of a mental alarm clock that is set for however long he wishes to rest, or until where he slumbers is disturbed, or if a mental call from one of his ghouls awakens him.  upon awakening, depending on how long he was asleep, it takes longer for him to gain clarity and strength and he must ususally feed in greater frequency/quantity than if he has been awake and normally functioning.

he is not immune to binding spells / circles etc. meant for the damned / undead / or if the witch etc. is in possession of his true name - something that he has taken great pains to eradicate from history for predominantly this reason.  he can be controlled via necromancy, though it takes a pretty powerful witch to be able to counter his age / power / natural willpower.  

he has learned mental skills to block minor telepaths but is not entirely invulnerable to them especially if they are powerful or are making a targeted invasion into his thoughts

he does not have any ability to prevent dreamwalkers etc. from entering his dreams and often encounters ghosts and restless spirits in his sleeping thoughts.

I will say that Alexander is susceptible to the effects of vervain as seen in TVD - humans that wear it or imbibe it are protected from his mesmerism and if they’ve drunk it their blood weakens him / if he drinks or eats something with it in it will weaken him though not entirely stupefied etc.

Also he can usually sense other supernatural creatures as being in the vicinity by that prickle at the nape of the neck sensation but if in a crowd etc it won’t be immediately pinpointed. Generally when close enough to catch the persons scent the distinct elements of their blood will at least point him in the right direction - if he’s crossed paths with one he’s identified before. Werecreatures tend to smell like their other form, vampires especially metallic and don’t typically have heartbeats plus other telltale signs that might vary per subspecies (aka a particular verse canon), witches smell like whatever particular element they relate to etc etc. Dragons the same but with a distinct ozone / metallic undertone and so forth. Sirens, mermaids etc smell like the sea. (happy to adapt specifics per other characters canon or preference per thread BTW)

As far as cross canon interactions I am fine with assuming there is more than one species / bloodline of vampires thus resulting in different canons having different weaknesses etc. If Alexanders abilities and powers being different from your characters canon is a problem for some reason feel free to come talk to me I’m sure we can work something out.

Also I’m going to go with the fact that a stake will immobilize him (ie the originals in tvd etc) but it takes fire, sunlight, beheading etc. to actually kill him just because he’s literally fucking ancient.  This allows for more opportunities w/ plots where he might be incapacitated etc. and actually works as a vulnerability imo rather than a bonus.

& If necessary Alexander can burn through stores of his blood for an extreme boost to strength, durability, willpower (to resist torture, supernatural methods of control, to keep his temper in check), to heal faster (useful for enduring sunlight longer etc), to move faster etc. But the cost is pretty poignant and if he burns through too much and his reserves of blood get too low he risks either being forced into unconsciousness with all of its inherent vulnerabilities or full out losing control and going on a rampage until he feeds enough to satiate himself fully.

Reputation Tour Houston Sept. 29 post

okay so this is totally long overdue but i finally have some time to write about this now that i'm in class totally not paying attention and taking the time to write out my thoughts and experience about the concert. sorry in advance if this post is hella long and looks like a mess.

So this is actually my very first concert! (I don't count the time when my parents dragged me to go see Enrique Iglesias on a school night back when I was in the 3rd grade.) i went with @stayingstrongandbeingconfident and my sister and my cousin (who i got tickets for the concert last-minute because i'm totally the best sister and cousin ever). the weather was nice and cool and my dad dropped us off so we can save some money on parking fees. while waiting in line to get through security, it was so amazing to see so many people in costumes and custom outfits for the concert.

We made it in time to see Camila perform and she was amazing! My sister was especially happy to see her since she is a huge fan. After she finished performing, @stayingstrongandbeingconfident asked me if I wanted to go in line to get merchandise, but because everything was so loud i assumed she wanted to go get snacks and I was like "nah, i'm good with my water". Later on, I asked her if she wanted to go in line to get merchandise and she was like I asked you earlier and then I was like "Oohhhhhh, sorry I misheard my bad". Then I was kind of concerned because while I wanted to get merchandise I didn't want to risk missing the beginning of the concert. I went with her anyways to get in line and we were there for sometime. As soon as I saw the lights in the stadium go off, I knew what that meant and looking at @stayingstrongandbeingconfident she told me I should go and she wait in line and get the merchandise (you are seriously the best btw). So I got out of line and DASHED back to my section. As I was running back to my section, so were many other people. I had not run that fast in years like I did Saturday night.

I made it in time for the last half of the video intro which was incredible. Seriously the visuals for this concert are just top notch. And then the lights go off again and the stadium is totally dark and you hear "BABY LET THE GAMES BEGIN". And slowly the snake princess of pop emerged on stage and on the screen you can see her silhouette as she turns to her profile side with the mic in her hand and she says "Are you ready for it?" and the lights and music start playing and it was like witnessing the second coming of christ as the crowd went wild! I was recording it too and my hands were shaking from excitement and i got so emotional I started to tear up because holy fucking shit it's @taylorswift . Like wow I can't believe I'm really seeing her in all her glory.

So she nails it as she sings "ready for it" and "i did something bad". IDSB is just so amazing to see live with the choreography and the fire shooting out from the top like we were all burning with her. She sings the next few songs like "love story", "style", "you belong with me". It was fun. I was singing and yelling my heart out with the rest of the crowd. Jumping and dancing! The crowd looked so beautiful with the light-up bracelets during her "Delicate" speech. And of course I did the 1-2-3 LET'S GO BITCH!

The most magical part of the night was when she introduced the surprise song. During her introduction she mentioned fairy tales inspiring her songs and at first I assumed she was going to say "Today was a Fairytale", but then she started listing fairytales and stories that inspired her songs and that's when I held my breath and introduced "Wonderland" and I just started bawling because my god. She has never performed "Wonderland" since it was a bonus track and its one of my all-time favorite songs from her and I had hoped and hoped that she would sing it for Houston. So I sang loud and proud with her as she sang Wonderland. When she finished she talked about how she was amazed with how loudly she could hear us singing a song that was a bonus track and she pointed to my section when she said especially you guys over there. And I firmly believe she meant me because as far as I could tell I was singing the loudest!

The rest of the night was still so incredible. She was absolutely beautiful throughout all of it. When introduced "Long Live/NYD" she acknowledged and thanked all the wonderful people who put this concert together. She played the piano as she sang "Long Live/NYD" and when she paused she looked at all of us like we were really her whole world and I felt that.

When the video for "why she disappeared played", I prepared myself for Getaway Car because if you don't already know its like one of my top 3 favorite taylor swift songs ever and my favorite song off of reputation. I had my snapchat opened and yelled NO NOTHING GOOD STARTS IN A GETAWAY CAR as it recorded and snapchat crashed and did not save the video. but i have most of getaway car recorded and you can hear me singing loudly and horribly.

She is one of the most genuine people out there, and I'm so glad and thankful that I came to love and appreciate her and her music over time. I would love more than anything in the world to tell her how much her music helped me during the loneliest time in my life in college. She's always giving me things to hope and look forward to know for the rest of my life with her music and her spirit and I'm so happy to see her thriving despite all the bullshit she has gone through. Through her I realized that it's important to spend your time and energy doing the things you love around the people you love and that's the best kind of life to live.

So because of all that I decided that I'm gonna drive 7 hours from my school all the way to Arlington for her concert on Saturday. Gonna go by myself, have the time of my life as I see Taylor up closer with a floor seat ticket. Honestly do not care how much of my student loans I'm using to pay for this trip and how long the drive is because Taylor Swift is so totally worth it for me in every way possible.

Survey #176

rape tw

Do you like to have croutons in your salad? Noooonononono. It's a texture thing. Which do you find more irritating - sunburn or bug bites? Sunburn. How many friends do you have on Facebook? Like... 116? How many contacts do you have in your phone? 16. Do you carry any means of protection on you while out in public? No, but I wanna get pepper spray. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? No, I'm too paranoid of strangers. Do you know anyone who does cocaine? Not to my knowledge. What is something that most people wouldn’t know about you from simply looking at you? I used to be a super in-shape 117 lb. queen that even then felt slightly fat. :') What’s a quality that your sister has that you absolutely can’t stand? One has a serious temper, the other's... well I dunno. I don't see my older sis enough. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Something you would NEVER buy? Uhhh the first thing that came to my head are snakes that aren't directly from breeders. Both snakes I bought from PetSmart were sick, so. No thanks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No, deal breaker for me. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes, Nicole. Do you think your first love still loves you? No, but the feeling's mutual so np. Are you a money saver or spender? I've never had a consistent source of income, but when I do get some from gifts or photography, I've actually proven to be great at saving it for whatever my target is. Hopefully I stay that way when I do have a job. Has a member of the opposite sex ever seen you naked? Yes. Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? Yup. If you have any piercings, who did them? Claire's did my earlobes, then various people from Garry's Skin Grafix and mostly New Addiction did my piercings. Have you ever cried while watching a movie trailer? No. Have you ever been pulled over, but just let off with a warning? Never been pulled. Have you ever taken shots? (of alcohol) Noooo, been offered to take part I think twice, but it's not something I think I ever want to do considering I loathe the taste of alcohol, hence why I only ever drink fruity things with tiny amounts of alcohol. Do you like mash-up songs? Occasionally, I guess? None even come to mind. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? No, because I have a plethora of my own and don't want to put a child under the supervision of someone with conditions like mine; as well, I'm sorry, but I need to take care of myself. Took me damn long enough to get here, and I'm not going back to how horrible my life was before out of stress and having to handle a child with a severe mental illness. And oh, did I mention the main reason is because I don't in any capacity want kids? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yeah. Do you listen to classical music? Not intentionally. Do you tell your parents who you like? Why or why not? No. I'll admit I like someone if they ask, but otherwise I just don't see it necessary to walk up to your guardian and just randomly inform them that you have a crush. Are you due for a haircut? Getting there, maybe almost two months from now. Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? My OCD's been exceptionally bad lately. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Both like certain artists that I do - a lot, really. I do know I also like heavier stuff than them, though. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Not all. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood? Don't live in one. Name one of your psycho exes? None. I was honestly the psycho ex. I was very rightfully broken, but I shouldn't have done many things I did. Why were they a psycho ex? ^ I wouldn't leave him the hell alone and would pester him on Facebook too much even when I was ignored and, most regrettably, make just enough time to blame him for my ER visits before leaving until he finally blocked me. I sincerely don't blame him if he does consider me "the psycho ex." What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone? I don't care in the slightest about revenge to even think up a situation where I got any. I've never deliberately fished for it. What screen name did you use in 6th grade? FlowerOurQueen ew. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? ih crihmus What’s the last movie you saw? Halloween. Who was the last person to call you? This fucking car insurance agency that calls like every goddamn day. I've answered a couple times thinking that it could be VR and promptly hung up upon finding it wasn't. By now, I recognize the three digits after the area code to just ignore them. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? VR. Where is your least favorite place to be? Hospitals. Where is your favorite place to be? Sara's house. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman? lol no, grow up, 0-19-y/o me denying your own sexuality in fear of a "loving" god sending you to Hell. :^) Would you like to learn to play the drums? Nah. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Types of people. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Motivation to live, again. Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Always with close friends. Have there ever been floods where you live? Oh yeah. Do you listen to K-Pop? No. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Ummm idr, but not very long ago. Sunshower. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV anymore, so I don't know any current ones. But it will probably /always/ be the sexy Mr. Clean one because memories fuck me up. Have you ever tried writing a song? Yes. For one of the Nintendogs tracks. I even moved their heads around to the tune of the song. kms What is your favorite type of juice? Peach/mango. Whose birthday did you last celebrate? My nephew's. When you were a kid, did you have a treehouse? No. We didn't have trees built for that, just very tall pine trees. What was the best school year in your opinion? 7th grade; ironically, the year my depression began to seriously manifest. Do you know (of) anyone who has committed suicide? Sadly. When was the last time you flew on a plane? This past October. Take me back. Do you eat meat every day? No. Who taught you how to ride a bike? Dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? No. How do you cook your rice? Steam, boil, other? I don't cook. Do you like your country’s president or prime minister? Nope. Some of his policies I side with, but his personality absolutely destroys him for me. Do you wear skirts? No. I absolutely hate my legs. What color is your house? Like this khaki sorta color. How many first cousins do you have? I have zero clue. I don't even think I've met some first ones. Off the very top of my head, I know there's at least... nine? Have you ever seen a pop star in concert? No. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No, not a fan of most. It doesn't put me in the "Christmas spirit" anyway. Where would you like to vacation to? The Bahamas baby, Sweden, Japan... What time do you set your alarm to? I don't use mine. Nothing to use it for. Do you like ginger ale? No, unless my stomach is upset. What time does the sun set at the time of year where you live? Like 5, and I hate it. Have you ever been skiing? No. When was the last time you moved house? Feb. of last year. What did you last feel nervous about? How in god's name am I blanking here??????????? Over something incredibly trivial, I'm sure. Do you find yourself saying mean things to people over the internet that you wouldn’t say in real life? No. Who is the last person to text you? Sara. Does the person you like know it? HAHA she's got a pretty good idea. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason or Girt. Girt came to the hospital after hearing about my OD, so my mental state was obviously shit, but Jason saw me in more obvious, externally-expressed emotional breakdowns. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I've been waking up much too early lately. What was the last movie you saw that you really liked? Really liked? Probs Jumanji. Do your best friends live near you? Ha, no. Do you have any stuffed animals saved from when you were a child? A LOT. When is the next time you are traveling outside of the state, province, or country? Where to? I'm sure sometime next year to Sara's. What are your living arrangements currently? Are you happy with them? I live with just my mom and pets. It's fine, though I wish I was emotionally prepared to move out. Hell, and obviously financially. Have you ever had feelings for someone your best friend was dating? N- oh yeah yes, in the Jenna situation. Though I don't truly recall what *kind* of feelings exactly I had. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing? No, surprisingly. How was your first kiss? Super cute. Do you still talk to the person you shared it with? No. Are you the oldest of your siblings? No. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No; that's a deal-breaker for me. I am not being a mother figure to any child, especially when it's not my own. Have you kissed someone 4 or more years older than you? No. Were your parents married when you were born? Yeah. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No. Do you live within 20 miles of where you were born? Yeah. What is your opinions on Valentine's Day? Cheesetastic, is it not? No no no no no I LOVE it!!!! I can't stand that "ugh every day you should appreciate love" shit 'cuz like, why not have a day specifically wrapped around it? Is it hurting anyone in any way shape or form?? What is the last thing you wrote? (typing is not writing, btw) My signature, probably? Do you have an outfit that you consider your "seduction outfit"? lul no. What is the last fruit you have eaten? Uhhh good question. I'm only just back on solids. What was the last injection you received? Was it sore? At the dentist when I had to get a cavity filled. They had to give me no less than 6-7 shots in the same spot to numb me properly, so yeah, it was sore. Have you ever been badly bitten by an animal? No. Favorite sandwich? I'll never turn down a ham, cheese, and mustard one. What characteristics do you despise? Arrogance, manipulative, lack of compassion, anger, two-faced, entirely insensitive, rudeness, raunchiness, the inability to accept one is sometimes wrong and that that's okay, BEING A DRAMA NEST HINT HINT, and I could go on... Where would you retire to? The mountains. What was your most memorable birthday? My 21st. Supposed to be your greatest celebration, yet I was in the mental hospital. It still means the goddamn world to me how my peers and employees tried to make it special. What did you want to be when you were little? First an archaeologist, then a vet. I think I only changed my mind upon realizing the original would've been extremely difficult. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? No. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. I'm actually not a big fan of the latter, it's too dry and tough. Did the Spanish classes have an “El Dia de Los Muertos” (Day of the Dead) fiesta at school? I don't know, I didn't take Spanish. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have zero clue. Do you like coconut flavored things? nooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I really don't like coconuts. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? I don't believe so? I know many who've been violated or molested, but I don't believe I know a rape victim. How often do you get a fever? Like never. What makes you lose your appetite? Unappetizing scenes or smells and feeling/being sick. Are there any childhood habits you are grateful for or regret? I was taught good manners, for one. I wish chores had been more enforced upon all of us. At what age did you start to wear makeup? Did your mom object at first? I think 9th grade was when I "officially" started? It was freshman year and I had that "it's a new start and you're (this old) now, at least try to look pretty for once" mentality with how my self esteem was on the decline. I did it every day for a long time, until one day I didn't put on anything because I was tired of it and my art classmates (I was close to them) literally asked if I was okay lmao. From then on out, it was sporadic; eyeliner, shadow, and mascara some days, other days, nothing. But anyway no, Mom didn't have a problem. I think I recall her worrying about how it was all black, but she in no way objected. Would you consider yourself an adventurous person? This reeaally depends on the situation. I can't say which I lean more towards... maybe no? Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? No. Have you ever been afraid of being underwater? No. Have you ever been drunk at work? No. What band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? I dunno. One thing you really want to learn? Digital art. What is your favorite piece of art you own? I don't own any other than my own work. The most expensive bill I paid last month was ____? N/A What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? @ the Silent Hill wiki, I wasn't understanding why a certain member was giving particular information that appeared irrelevant to me, but he got me to understand. I am extreeemely nit-picky over there, having been active there since '12, and now being a staff member, I'm even more specific. What is the largest TV screen in your house? We only have one, in the living room, but it's been the biggest. What has challenged your morals? Wondering if I was bi in middle school, frustration when I was trying to be abstinent in a serious relationship, pirating (which I still know is wrong asjfawouow), mutually being a flirt with my then-best friend's boyfriend, considering abortion at a much more open-minded angle, the justification of eating meat, my experience in life in relation to religion... Those are the ones that stand out. Who was the last female you hung out with? Mom. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? No. Do you want to get married? Yes. Does the thought of moving out from home scare you? A bit. Would you rather live in a mansion or a small cozy home? The latter. I'm not paying for superfluous space and spending a gross amount of unnecessary time cleaning. Would you ever try being a vegetarian? I did, but stopped for a few reasons. Do you have any tattoos at the moment? Yeah and NOWHERE NEAR DONE. What about piercings? ^ Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? Natural. What color is your bedroom door? White. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No, give them back to me. Have you ever been to a rave? No. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? Two? Do you think you’re the best thing that’s happened to someone? No. Can you make a clover shape with your tongue? No. Do you have a protective father? No. What’s the biggest misconception about you, personally? Uhhh probably that I don't try hard enough, specifically with work, adulthood, socializing, etc. when I'm sincerely doing my best. Are you disrespectful to a lot of people? No. Does your cell phone have a case on it? What color? No. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Family" by Mother Mother. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say? That'd hurt like hell; he's like a bro to me and is the last close friend I have here. I don't know what I'd say. If someone you wanted before came back now, would you take them? Nope. Have you ever had to choose between two people? Sara and Girt. Jason and Juan. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as? Good question. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? Cheese, mustard, ketcup, pickles, a little bit of minced onion. Idk which I prefer. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Economics. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? N/A What is your highest level of education? Some college. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid? Idr. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? Traffic. I'm afraid of elevators. The last thing you remember dreaming about: Everyone I loved left me, so I tried to suffocate myself. Why do I only recall nightmares, ugh. The last place you went: The parlor to get a new bar for my tongue ring. The last alcoholic drink you consumed: A margarita. The last time you felt insulted/offended: I'm unsure. But I feel it was recently? The last time you kissed someone: October 17th weeps. The last time you held a baby: Months ago when Colleen needed me to hold Keegan. The last time you gave up on or quit something: Vegetarianism. The last video game you played: I finally got a new disc of Shadow of the Colossus!!!!! :'D I'm replaying it and doing both Time Attack modes to get Agro's white coat. The last television show you watched: Fullmetal Alchemist w/ Sara. Are you afraid of shots? No, I just anticipate it being unpleasant. How many times have you donated blood? Once. Would you date someone 15 years older than you? No. What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? An awful stomach virus. I wouldn't stop vomiting. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? I couldn't tell ya. Something in high school. Do you think Gatorade tastes refreshing or just gross? I hate it. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I personally think Outlast is overall the scariest game made thus far, but one I can't play because of the intense jumpscares is SCP Containment Breach. What about your life concerns you the most? Future financial position. If you were a different gender, what name would you want to have? Ummm Severin. What product or service do you find ridiculously overpriced? Certain clothing and makeup brands, like half the shit doesn't even look that great. How many people, outside of your immediate family, do you know the birthdays of by heart? At least six. Would you rather take a walk in the cold rain, or in the blistering heat? Definitely the former. If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being aware of any of effects and/or consequences, would you do it? No. Do you trust your gut instinct? I try to, but don't always. Which parent was more strict when you were growing up? Mom. What are some things that initially attract you to the preferred sex? CHARISMA, kindness, concern for others, a love of animals, and being a gamer oops. What is the saddest thing that has happened to you? What about the happiest? The breakup and eventual suicide attempt are definitely the saddest. The happiest, easily the last day of Holly Hill when everyone was telling me goodbye and I felt like I was ready to really live again. When was the last time someone scared you? Sara had me worried something was wrong involving me, but it wasn't. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Silent Hill 3 is so fucking weird but also one of the best horror games ever. Name something that you saw within the past week that made you smile: Probably Teddy being cute. Name something within the past week that made you frown: I don't think I have physically frowned this week. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: My mom. Name something that you hope is different by this time next year: My social anxiety has improved. Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: Um I have no clue. Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Drawing anthro characters. Name something that you strongly believe in: Gay rights. Do you like pudding? Chocolate pudding. Do you tend to use a lot of big words? No, it's unnecessary. Just talk so people can understand you and not wonder what five words you said mean. Do you fall for guys/girls easily? NOPE. When someone copies you, are you more flattered or annoyed? Annoyed. Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips. Flat soda doesn't bother me very much. What’s one show that you wish was still on the air? Deadman Wonderland. Have you ever used a port-a-potty? Omg yeah I know I have at sports practice or games as a kid. I absolutely never would again. What was the last stinky thing you smelled? Teddy's pee; he wet his diaper, and we know he has some kind of infection with how rancid it is sometimes, but we don't even bother anymore because it's recurring. What’s your favorite outdoor activity? Photographing nature.

MTVS Epic Rewatch #189

BTVS 7x08 Sleeper

Obligatory soundtrack: Early One Morning - Pavlov’s Bell

Stray thoughts

1) If the fact that Spike was feeding and turning people wasn’t enough of a clue that something was amiss, then him humming a lullaby while digging graves most certainly was.

2) I love that whenever we hear a British man speaking in this show we immediately know he’s a watcher. Side note, this watcher was totally shacking up with his slayer, right? 

3) Okay, so Dawn told Willow all about seeing “Joyce” but she didn’t disclose Joyce’s warning about Buffy. Willow then proceeds to tell her that she’d seen someone, too, but it was the Big Bad. Dawn, understandably, convinces herself that Joyce couldn’t have been an evil manifestation. I get why her first reaction is to believe she’d seen her mom. She’s a kid who’s had a rough two years, whose mom died suddenly, who was almost sacrificed to open up a portal to a hell dimension, whose sister killed herself shortly after, and who spent hours in a bedroom with the body of her stand-in mom before anyone came to check on either of them. Joyce represents the normalcy and stability her life is lacking, so it’s absolutely understandable she’s so eager to believe she’s seen her mom. What I don’t get is why – other than because it suited the writers’ purpose – she didn’t talk about this with Buffy (even if she didn’t feel like opening up about the actual warning...) and why it was never brought up again (that I remember, at least.) I’ve talked about this in my previous recap, but I must hand it to The First, it played its cards right by manipulating Dawn. She was the only one who 100% bought the lies, and the fact that she didn’t discuss this any further – especially not with Buffy – and that she kept believing her “mom”’s warning all along had far-reaching consequences. Dawn was probably the only character not mature enough to realize she was being duped. Joyce/The First warned Dawn that “when it's bad, Buffy won't choose you. She'll be against you.” Not only does this warning foreshadow what will come to happen in Empty Places, but it is the precise reason why that happens, except that the roles are reserved: when things get bad, Dawn won’t choose Buffy, she’ll be against her…

4) I do appreciate that Xander truly tries to be objective here and to see things from a purely rational perspective. It’s a very nice change of pace from his “slay first, ask questions later approach”, and it is in fact exactly what Buffy needed. Emotionally, she can’t bring herself to believe Spike’d be able to be killing people while having a soul. I think the church scene from Beneath You is what drives Buffy to believe having a soul has truly changed him. Of course, she’s letting herself be driven by her emotions (which, btw, we know are her strength…) So it was necessary for her to hear the voice of reason. And I’m grateful for the fact that Xander was actually written as a reasonable voice of reason - unlike what they did with his speech to Buffy in Into the Woods… where we were supposed to buy into what he was saying (he didn’t even have all the fact!) and take his word as the voice of reason.

*gets herself angry at remembering Into the Woods*

*breathes furiously*

*tries to calm self down*

*watches videos of puppies*

*resumes writing*

Anywho, this is their exchange in this episode:

XANDER Why would a vampire lie about who sired him. What's that? Some kind of status symbol for the undead. My sire can beat up your sire. (sits)

BUFFY I'm not saying I don't believe him.

XANDER You just don't want to. OK, let's look at this objectively. Figure it out in a cold, impersonal, CSI-like manner 'cause we're a couple of carpet fibers away from a case.

BUFFY Spike can't be the one doing this. He couldn't if he wanted to.

XANDER Why not?

BUFFY Well, for one thing, pain chip, remember? He can't hurt anyone.

XANDER Didn't stop him from hurting you. Hey, objective here. Maybe the chip's not working anymore.

BUFFY Oh, it's working. I've seen it.

XANDER Is it? Or is that what Spike wants you to think?

BUFFY You think it's an act?

XANDER I don't really know. And neither do you.

BUFFY No, mm-mmm. There's something. I-I can feel it. He's different. He's changed. And, if it is an act, then the Oscar goes to...

I just appreciate the fact that he was trying to help Buffy see the situation from every angle, instead of taking a stand and only viewing the evidence that would support her belief. 

5) These two truly had a very lively sex life…

XANDER You're gonna be fine. 

ANYA Better be, because if I get vamped, I'm gonna bite your ass.

XANDER Wouldn't be the first time. 

ANYA What was that?

6)  And this is exactly why they should’ve talked to Dawn more about the whole seeing Joyce thing…

WILLOW Buffy, this thing knows us. It made us think that we were talking to people we knew. Mine said it came with a message from Tara. But Dawn actually saw... your Mother. This thing—it had me for a while—I mean, before it started letting loose with the pulse-pounding terror. But before that, the lies were very convincing. It just seems real.

BUFFY Lies.

WILLOW I mean maybe—maybe to confuse us, to mess us up. Or maybe just to be cool.

Unfortunately, Buffy was too concerned with the urgent issue of a potential serial killer vampire on the loose to take the time to talk to her sister. She should have done it, though. I mean, even if she assumed Dawn had understood what she’d seen wasn’t real, Buffy should’ve known that seeing Joyce again, even if it was a fake Joyce, probably had messed her up. I think that Buffy not approaching Dawn about this probably fed Dawn’s belief that she’d seen the real Joyce.

7) Sweet Jebus, this man…

8) Bless Anya.

SPIKE Anya, do be specific and tell a fellow just exactly what you're doing here.

ANYA Well, Spike... I'm here, obviously... for...um...sex.

SPIKE Uh, beg pardon.

ANYA You and me. Here and now. Let's go. Let's... get it on, you big bad boy.

SPIKE Wait, wait, Anya. Just a minute. This is not exactly—is that a stake?

ANYA Yes. Kinky. 

SPIKE Uh, well, yeah, but what do you—?

ANYA Shh. No questions. No talking. I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about you and us and our brief but unforgettable time together. I mean, it's—why else would I be here? I mean, it's not like I'm snooping around looking for proof that you're some sort of wacked out serial killer. I don't know why I said that. Forget I said that. It's craziness talking. It's just nerves. Nerves. Nerves and-and horniness. Oh, just shut up, William, and take me. Take me now. 

I think... I think she looks kind of riled up and disappointed he didn’t take her up on her offer? 

9) Where do all this people come from? This street has never been this crowded! Sunnydale doesn’t have that big of a population!

SERIOUSLY!!!

Like, I get it, they needed the streets to be super crowded so that it would be believable for Buffy to lose track of Spike, but THIS IS NOT BELIEVABLE! A) My point above and B) any citizen of Sunydale who isn’t as dumb as a brick won’t go out at night!!! 

10) Awww, Buffy woke him up by throwing him across the room just like in the old days…

11) I had to stop writing during this scene, I was simply enthralled by James’ delivery of each of his lines. I truly don’t think Spike would’ve been a redeemable character if it hadn’t been for James’ portrayal. He brings so much emotion into every word and every gesture, and it truly makes you feel for the character. Well, unless you hate Spike, of course.

SPIKE Well, I certainly didn't off her. Where are you getting this? (grabs a shirt) You know I can't.

BUFFY Right. The chip.

SPIKE No, not the chip! Not the chip, dammit. You honestly think I'd go to the end of the underworld and back to get my soul and then— Buffy, I can barely live with what I did. It haunts me. All of it. If you think that I would add to the body count now, you are crazy.

SPIKE Yeah, I talk to people. Women. Talk to them 'cause I can't talk to you.

BUFFY Oh, Spike, save it.

SPIKE As daft a notion as "Soulful Spike the Killer" is, it is nothing compared to the idea that another girl could mean anything to me. This chip—they did to me. I couldn't help it. But the soul, I got on my own—for you.

BUFFY I know.

SPIKE So, yeah. I go and pass the time... with someone. But that's all it is is time, 'cause—God, help me, Buffy—it's still all about you.

12) FYI, If you don’t remember what you’ve done the night before, that’s a BIG FAT warning sign.

13) I get that Willow’s line is meant to feed Dawn’s belief that she did, in fact, talk to Joyce, but this just doesn’t make any sense?????

DAWN You only think Spike is turning people 'cause that vampire told you so, right? But that night we were all told things that weren't true.

WILLOW Maybe.

DAWN What? What maybe.

WILLOW Well, just because those weren't the spirits of, you know, our people—just because it was some evil thing, doesn't mean what they said can't be true.

Like, why would the Big Bad disclose information that might actually help them???? 

14) The music choice for this episode is so absolutely perfect, I mean, Pavlov’s Bell? Accurate AF.

15) She’s a quick learner, right?

YOUNG WOMAN Huh. I get it. You'd rather I slip into something more comfortable. Should we pick off the crowd one-by-one, or block the exits and ravish the place?

SPIKE Get away from me.

YOUNG WOMAN What's with the wallflower act? You didn't seem so shy when you were biting me. I'm not asking if you wanna be soul mates, just figured you'd wanna have some fun. I take him, you take her—or the other way around. Whatever.

I love how this scene is reminiscent of Spike and Drusilla prowling the Bronze in Crush, except this time Spike does not want to play.

16) This fucking show.

YOUNG WOMAN Is that all I was to you—a one-bite stand?

17) I swear to god. THIS. FUCKING. SHOW.

18)

BUFFY Oh, uh, actually, I need some help. I'm looking for this guy. Bleach-blonde hair, leather jacket, British accent? Kind of sallow, but in a hot way?

BOUNCER Yeah, yeah, I know the guy. Billy Idol wannabe?

BUFFY Actually, Billy Idol stole his look from—never mind. Has he been here?

19) This. Fucking. Show.

AIMEE MANN Man, I hate playing vampire towns

I just love the fact that she uses the plural, “towns” like she’s fucking aware Sunnydale is not the only town infested with vampires.

It’s so amazing to see a regular someone supposedly not in the know – after 7 freaking seasons! – acknowledge the supernatural because even though it’s a staple of the genre that people are ignorant of the paranormal or choose to find more “rational” explanations for every odd occurrence, sometimes they just end up looking very dumb.

20) And this is why The First was kind of a dumb Big Bad, like, how couldn’t he have known that tasting Buffy would have the opposite effect on Spike?

21) It’s really heartbreaking that Spike not only assumes that Buffy is going to stake him but he welcomes it, I think he wants the pain to end and wants an easy way out from the things he’s done (that’s why he pleads for her - or it? - to “make him forget”)

22) Buffy reads the situation right, though. She understands that someone or something has been using Spike as a puppet and that killing him won’t really accomplish anything other than doing exactly what it wants them to do.

23) I gotta admit, I’d be Xander in this situation…

BUFFY You didn't see him down there. He really didn't know what he'd done. It wasn't in his control.

XANDER Oh, an out of control serial killer. You're right, that is a great houseguest.

24) I love how they’re talking as if he was deaf or not there, and he’s obviously listening to every single word they're saying. HE IS SITTING RIGHT THERE FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!

Sorry, I just hate when they do that on shows or movies, okay?

25) Cliffhanger! IS GILES DEAD! DUN-DUN-DUNNNN!

There’s no fucking way Giles would’ve survived that, okay? I mean, I’m glad he’s alive, but they probably should’ve faded to black BEFORE the axe was about to chop his head off. Just seeing the demon brandishing the axe would’ve done the trick, and then it wouldn’t have felt as they were retconning the scene.

26) This is not a great episode. It’s not bad, either, but I feel the reveal that Spike was killing again and the why he was doing it should’ve been placed further apart (although I understand they were trying to get people to like Spike again, so that might’ve been detrimental to that purpose…) I don’t know, there’s something that just doesn’t work about this episode. The scenes between Buffy and Spike are great, but the whole episode feels somewhat disjointed. What do you think? Is this when season 7 started to go south?

27) If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting my blog on ko-fi. Thanks!

Please Kill My Vibe: Saturday Screen Time #1

After a week of doing this I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d like some more structure to my posts - mostly to help me have some direction with where I’m going but also it woulds probably make things more readable in the event that anybody is interested. So, here’s the first installment of something that I’m hoping to do every week that I’m calling Saturday Screen Time.

Here’s the idea: Every Saturday I’m going to use something that I’ve seen on a screen in the past week. It could be a TV show, a movie, a meme (which I’m personally very excited about analyzing), or something else. The point is to hopefully use something that isn’t really coming from any kind of Christian worldview and to try to determine what about it is true, and where it might fall short in terms of what it says about the world/people. I’m excited about this because one of my favorite things to do is to talk about how movies accidentally have very Gospel-feeling messages.

All that to say, this week I’m going to look at this meme...

You ever heard of mysticism? You probably have a decent idea of what it is/means, but in case you didn’t, here’s a definition:

noun - Belief that union with or absorption into the Deity or the absolute, or the spiritual apprehension of knowledge inaccessible to the intellect, may be attained through contemplation and self-surrender.

You got all that? I had to read that definition about five times before I felt like I had a decent grasp on what it was saying, and still I’m skeptical in my own comprehension. Regardless, the deal with mysticism is that it’s a way of seeing the world in which there’s some little known knowledge of how to “truly live” that is unlock-able through some sort of deep thinking. 

Let me just say one thing right at the onset here; I don’t think that mysticism is inherently a bad thing. In fact I do think that you probably need to have at least a little bit of a mystical understanding of the world in order to fully grasp something like the Holy Spirit. So it’s not all bad.

The reason why I liked this meme so much is because I recently had a conversation about how much I really don’t like it when people use the word “vibe” in so many different forms all the freaking time. Like when people are all like, “you know, I was just in my car vibin’,” or “sending you good vibes today,” or “yeah they just don’t give off a good vibe.” Dude kill me now.

I think the reason why this is so annoying to me is because I wish that people would just say what they actually mean; I’m really just focused on how things make me feel. And there’s nothing wrong with paying attention to your feelings (which I actually don’t do nearly enough of myself), but when the thing that guides you is simply how you feel about stuff, you’ll find yourself on a fast-track to hedonism real quick. 

But that’s just the thing isn’t it? Our American culture is extremely hedonistic. What makes me feel good is really the only thing that matters. Traditional values, commitment, anything that tells me that I can’t feel a certain way about certain things is the ultimate form of sin in my Americanized worldview. And in this world I don’t have any need for anything more than what I can simply experience for myself, and in fact anything else actually gets in the way of my ultimate self-actualization of feeling good always. Maybe this is why traditional religious systems are seen with a lot of scorn by a lot of Americans (even the ones who call themselves Christian). If a system is telling me that I can’t hate other people when I want to, or that I can’t do whatever I want to whenever I want, or that I can’t define myself in whatever way I think will make me feel better, then that system must be either incomplete, broken, or just plain evil.

Then how come mysticism and words like the ones in this meme are so popular, especially with those of us who deeply subscribe to the cultural worldviews around us? It’s because, like it or not, humans are geared to relate to one another and to God on a spiritual level. We have a deep hunger for for a kind of mysticism that is this plugging into God as the only source of true life! So we’re torn in two directions: to one side of our heart’s longing for spiritual connection, and to the other of our culture attempting to sever all ties between us and any sort of system of accountability. And how do we react to that tension?

Some people fully subscribe to the cultural fad spirituality. The words like the ones above (vibe, toxic, energy, the universe, etc.) become our way of kinda spiritualizing our feelings, but really just seeking what makes us happy above all else. And some people absorb this Americanized way of thinking into their existing spiritual worldview. Texts like the Bible become “moral guidelines” rather than authoritative teaching, my own understanding of God is the most important thing about Him, and if something doesn’t make sense to me then it must not really be from God. 

Of course there are a litany other ways that people react to these cultural forces, but it’d be impossible to identify them all. These two examples are just the two most common that I’ve witnessed personally. And both of these phenomenons happen on either side of the social and political spectrum btw. Brokenness knows no boundaries, and it’s not reserved for just non-Christians.

So what Joe? (I can hear my mom asking me right now) So this... how do I assess the experiences that I have? Simply through the lens of how I feel like things work? Or do I have a credible voice other than my own helping me to make sense of the world around me? Do I just see a “healthy life” as doing the things that make me feel good, or am I following some rules that would be much easier if I just ignored them?

As for me, I want to say that I listen to a God that knows better than me for guidance on life, and that I try to learn about His heart through scripture and experts in the life that He offers. But truthfully it’s way easier to just do what makes me feel good. I guess I just hope that I’m getting better at listening to God more than myself.

Confidence.

Request: Can I request a dean x reader where the reader is Deans sister and she comes out as gay? I've been thinking about coming out for a while now and I need something as a confidence booster? Thank you! Btw I love your blog!

Requested by: @heyyycasssbuttt

Tagging: @bloomingskulk @milligan-writes @youtubehelpsmesurvive @damiansbeloved

Pairing: Dean x Sister!Reader, Sam x Sister!Reader

Warning: If you’re homophobic or from this kind of crap, do not read it, you might have a brain! 

A/N: Sorry for posting this late! Was supposed to be last weekend! Sorry guys! Hope you like it, requests are open!

Words: +1K

We all get to this one special part of our teenage life where we start to know who we are, what we like, who we like. It’s not an easy phase to know who we like, if we’re into guys, girls, both, none...it’s not easy as we have to go through this alone, but when we do find out, we have to learn to accept it, to accept who we are; this should be the hardest part, but the hardest part is to tell your family, and when you’re a (your age) lesbian, and your brothers are hunters, coming out as gay isn’t easy. I see the struggle my brothers have to find love, what tells me that I will too? I have way fewer chances than them, and this is scaring me, I do not want to end up alone, I know I’m not going to grow old, but I do not want to die and never had found love, that is one regret I will never have on my death bed, no, no way that my last thought is about a love I could’ve had.

But for me to be happy and able to find love, I know I have to come out as gay to my brothers and it scares me.

I decide to get dressed up and go get breakfast. When I get to the kitchen there is already Sam, drinking coffee and reading God knows what on his computer.

Me: Mornin’.

Sam turns and looks at me.

Sam: Mornin’. How are you?

I take my cup of coffee and sit in front of Sam.

Me: Half awake. What you lookin’ at?

Sam shrugs. He’s looking for a case, a case that he doesn’t want me to get involved in it.

Me: What do you think it is? How many victims?

Sam sighs knowing that I wouldn’t give up on asking him or eventually find it out by myself.

Sam: I have no idea. In one week there have been five attacks. That thing kills people that are around a campfire in the forest or in the hills.

Dean comes in and hears half of what Sam said.

Dean: Well, what a joyful conversation in the morning, guys. Keep it up! 

I roll my eyes and look back at Sam.

Me: Give me your computer, two seconds.

I grab it and search for whatever this creature could be.

Me: It only happens in East of Tenessee, killing people around a campfire, in the forest or the hills? Hm.

You look at your coffee cup, tapping your finger on it, trying to remember.

Dean: What?

Me: I read something about it. In here, it says that victims that survived heard the monster scream before attacking them. But the police only found prints of paws of a cougar. It’s just... it reminds me something, I just can’t put my mind on it. 

You spent about ten minutes repeating it to yourself. “Forests and hills of East of Tenessee, campfire, screaming, paws of cougar...” Again and again, until Sam decided to call for Castiel.

Once Castiel arrived, Sam explained it to him and when you heard what Sam said you realized what it was, so did Castiel.

Castiel/You: It’s a Wampus Cat.

Dean: A what?

You: A Wampus Cat. Half woman, half cougar, it’s a curse. I do not know much about it, all I know is that one day some wizards were telling some sacred stories around a campfire, and she hid under a skin of a cougar, to listen to them but one wizard caught her and cursed her to be a monstrous cat, half cougar, half woman. Since this night, she is prowling in the forests and hills of east Tenessee and screaming to protest against her curse and swearing that she will get her revenge.

Dean: Great.

Sam: I guess she did.

You: I think she is just starting. I’m going to do some research about it. 

You take a notebook, and Sam’s computer and pour coffee in your cup. You start searching. 

You type “Wampus Cat” and read the first article.

“ The Wampus cat is often compared to the Ewah of Cherokee mythology, in that it was a woman who disguised herself in the skin of a cougar to spy on the men of the tribe, as they sat around the campfire with their wolf brothers, and told sacred stories on a hunting trip. When the woman was discovered, the tribe's medicine man punished her by transforming her into a half-woman, half-cat, who supposedly still haunts the forests of East Tennessee. The range of this creature has been tracked into the Carolinas as well. In folklore, it can be seen as one of a number of fearsome critters. In some sections of rural East Tennessee, the legend of the Wampus Cat takes on a more sinister tone. It is said that the Wampus Cat is a spirit of death and the earth, and when her cry is heard, it means someone is going to die and be buried within the next three days.”

You write it down and keep searching.

Sam and Dean were looking at you working.

Sam: She’s good at it.

Dean: Of course she’s good at it, she’s a Winchester. But no matter how good she is, she can get herself killed, Sam.

Sam: I know. But to be honest I rather have her hunting with us, than having her hunting alone.

Dean sighs, knowing that Sam was right.

You fall on another article, this one seems to have more details.

“They say that the Wampus cat used to be a beautiful Indian woman. The men of her tribe were always going on hunting trips, but the women had to stay home. The Indian woman secretly followed her husband one day when he went hunting with the other men. She hid herself behind a rock, clutching the hide of a mountain cat around her, and spied on the men as they sat around their campfires telling sacred stories and doing magic.According to the laws of the tribe, it was absolutely forbidden for women to hear the sacred stories and see the tribe's magic. So when the Indian woman was discovered, the medicine man punished her by binding her into the mountain cat skin she wore and then transforming her into a terrible monster - half woman and half mountain cat. Ever after she was doomed to roam the hills, howling desolately because she desires to return to her normal body.A man was hunting one night with his dogs when they both whimpered and ran off the path. At that moment, the woods were overpowered with a horrible smell like that of a wet animal that had fallen into a bog after it messed with a skunk. Then something howled on the path behind him and the man whirled around, dropping his rifle. His heart pounding with fear, the man found himself staring into the big, glowing yellow eyes of the Wampus Cat. The creature had huge fangs dripping with salvia. It looked kind of like a mountain lion, but it was walking upright like a man. Then it howled, and the man's skin nearly turned inside out in horror.With a scream of terror, the man leapt backwards and ran as fast as he could through the woods, the Wampus Cat on his heels. He fled to the home of a friend who lived nearby, and burst through the front door only a breath ahead of the creature. His friend slammed the door in the face of the Wampus Cat. Instantly, it started shuddering under the weight of the attacking monster. The man's friend grabbed his Bible and started reading aloud from the Psalms. Upon hearing the holy words, the Wampus Cat howled in frustration and then slowly abandoned its attack and went back into the woods.The man spent the rest of the night at his friend's place. When he went home at daybreak, he found his dogs huddled in the barn, shaken but still alive. The man never hunted after dark again.”

You look through the comments in case someone saw the Wampus Cat but fell on something else.

“ There has always been the tale of my Great-grandfather rushing home one night (in the 40s) out of breath with a face struck with horror. He had said he was walking along and the Wampus attacked him (in Knoxville). He said it took all his might and seemed like forever to fight the animal off. I never even bothered researching this story at all until now. I thought it was a name he had pulled out of the air to scare some people. No idea it was actual East TN folklore... “

You hum.

Sam: What did you find?

You: Someone’s great-grandfather fought the Wampus, but the comment is anonymous and from 2010. For all, we could know the grandfather is probably dead by now. Just give me some time to find more. 

Dean: Nothing on how to kill it?

You shake your head.

Sam: Maybe fire?

You: No, because fire is what actually attract it, I think that if it’s a curse...

Castiel: Only the magic that created the Wampus Cat--

You: --could kill it, or reverse the curse. 

Dean: Awesome! 

You: Still, we have the colt. 

You keep searching.

“ In Missouri they call it a Gallywampus; in Arkansas it’s the Whistling Wampus; in Appalachia it’s the just a plain old Wampus (or Wampas) cat. A half-dog, half-cat creature that can run erect or on all fours, it’s rumored to be seen just after dark or right before dawn all throughout the Appalachians. But that’s about all everyone agrees on. In non-Native American cultures it’s a howling, evil creature, with yellow eyes that can supposedly pierce the hearts and souls of those unfortunate enough to cross its path, driving them to the edge of sanity. “

You didn’t find more about, half of it all says the same about the Wampus Cat, sadly you didn’t find anything about how to kill it. You sigh loudly and put your head on the table.

Dean: Sup sis?

You look up at Dean and sigh.

You: I didn’t find anything to kill it, D. 

Dean: It’s okay, we have the colt.

You nod, putting your head back on the table.

Dean knew something was up with you, this had nothing to do with the case, he knew it but he couldn’t do anything if you didn’t want to open up to him.

Dean: Sweetheart, what’s wrong?

You look back at him.

You: Nothing, why?

Dean: Stop lying to me. I know you, ok? I know there is something wrong. Why don’t you tell me? You used to tell me when things were wrong.

You: It’s just...it’s different.

Dean: What’s different?! I’m still here for you! You’re my sister!

You: You just don’t get it, Dean! This is something I have to got through alone!

Dean storms out of the kitchen, leaving you alone. You sigh and slap your hand on the table.

You: Damn it.

You found out that it was really a Wampus Cat and only the colt could kill it. After you came back to the bunker you went straight to your bathroom taking a shower.

Sam: Okay what is up with you and Y/N?

Dean: I don’t know, I just asked her what was up with her this morning.

Sam sighs and sits down.

Sam: Dude, I told you to let her come to us when she will be ready to tell us what is wrong. She’s like you, dude! The more you push her, the less you will get from her!

You finish your shower, you dress up and go to your bed. You fall asleep instantly.

You were standing in the middle of the library watching Sam and Dean packing their things in duffle bags. You tried to move, to talk but you couldn’t. You knew somehow this is how it would’ve end, no matter what.

Dean: I can’t believe you hid this from us. You’re disgusting me.

Sam: You don’t know how much of a failure and disappointment you are.

Their words broke your heart, but their looks broke your soul. You watched them leave without being able to stop them. The sound of the door closing makes you realize they are gone. You react and run to the door but the more you ran the less you were getting to the door. You cried for Sam and Dean, but they were too far gone. Why would they want a lesbian as a sister?

You were calling out for Sam and Dean, once they heard you screaming their names they ran to your room with their guns, but once they realized you were having a nightmare, they put their guns down. 

You were in the library drinking coffee.

Dean: How are you doing?

You shrug. There is no way you would tell them. If they knew, they’d leave you. Right?

Sam: Okay I was up for the “let her tell us when she’s ready” plan but it’s getting worse. There is obviously something going on and it’s making you having nightmares, so spit it.

You mumble under your breath, looking at your cup.

Dean: What?

You sigh and look at them.

You: I’m...I...I’m g...I’m...I just can’t.

You stand up but Dean stops you.

Dean: You won’t go anywhere until you tell us what is wrong.

Sam: We’re worried, Y/N/N. Please talk to us.

You: I’m gay! I’m gay....

There was a silence until Dean broke it.

Dean: Wait, so you were having nightmares because...?

You: About you leaving me after you found out.

Sam: This ain’t news, Y/N.

You look at them shocked.

Dean: Sweetheart, you’re the one who comes to me to check out a chick!

Sam: And we see you when you watch they asses. We’re not blind.

You let a breath out, and some tears fall.

Dean: We love you, no matter what is your sexual orientation. Come here.

You hug Dean and Sam put a hand on your head.

You: I love you guys.

Sam: We love you too.

You didn’t know what you thought, your brothers stick with you after all of the mistakes you made, there is no way they would leave you for this, but you are grateful that you have such an amazing family. Sure, it’s little and broken, some of the members of it are dead, but in your line of work, death isn’t a goodbye it’s just a see you soon, and you were lucky, because, no blood, hell, heaven, gods, and demons that could come between you.