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#HOO MAMA WHAT A MAN
tojjist · 9 months
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bakugo's daughter is his little treasure.
if he's not on patrol, she's with him everywhere. he just can't help wanting to show his little girl the entire world.
he could be getting new blankets or dropping somebody off, for all he knows his princess has to be with him, attached to the hip at every given opportunity.
she definitely teams up with you, though. she's a mommy's girl as much as she's daddy's. even when she's just barely began saying a few coherent words, she still walks her way and stands next to you whenever both you and katsuki call her at the same time.
but nothing- nothing-gets katsuki happier than when he's out in public and his girl begins grabbing at any merch she sees of him — could be a shirt, a poster, a mug, a toy. any merch of any kind. often, when her little hands meet the object of her choice, she'd start to giggle as she says "dada," looking between her soft-gazed father and whatever has him on it.
"yeah? that's me, that's right," the older blonde chuckled, gripping his daughter in his arms as she made grabby hands at a billboard with her dad on it, giving him the title of the #1 hero of japan. her soft fists kept clenching and opening, wide-eyed as she looks at her dad then at the screen.
"dada," she babbled in disbelief, then gasped. "dada!"
"yes, that's dada over there," katsuki nodded. he would've been embarrassed at his use of such a term if he weren't too engulfed in just how smart his little girl is. "and you're gonna grow up and be just like him, right?"
"dada," she looked at him, her face serious although drool formed at the sides of her mouth from blabbering so much with her little mouth. "mama..?"
he laughed as the way her small head turned, eyes looking for her beloved mother. the hero dynamight has never loved one like this little girl in his arms. never had he felt warmth like when she speaks his name and calls him her silly little 'dada'.
"mommy's at home," he smiled softly. "we'll get her dinner then go home, okay?"
"hoo?" she cooed, repeating what she could after her dad. katsuki felt so much warmth he could cry.
"mhm, home," he nodded with a soft smile. "mommy will give you a brother soon, she needs good food."
this little girl was the best gift you've ever given katsuki. and katsuki was a greedy man, he wanted another one. he'd take as many as you're willing to give.
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zvdvdlvr · 12 days
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Where Were You? Where Were You?
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🩻 - Synopsis. Aaron realizes how badly he messed up, but doesn’t know if he has the strength to mend the wounds he gave himself and you.
🩻 - Warnings. Angst. No happy ending. Self isolating!Aaron. Boo hoo we’re all pitiful clowns here. Part one HERE! NOT EDITED!
🩻 - Author’s note. Part one got so much love!!! Thank you all for reading and commenting. I hop you enjoy the second part, but I’m bringing in the big guns for part three! :)
You stayed to get your psych evaluation. It took two tries. The first time around took a toll on you: reliving everything that happened, talking about it in explicit detail, and acting like everything was fine. But you knew you failed before it even began.
You took it again a couple weeks after. Even though you were officially benched from any cases, you didn’t complain.
All the time the team spent away gave you the opportunity to job surf. In reality, quitting the BAU was much harder than you initially imagined. Of course you would still be able to see them and talk to the team, it just… wouldn’t be the same. You would miss J.J.’s round of ‘good mornings’ as she swept by you all, eyes locked on the coffee pot a few feet away. You would miss Derek perched on Emily’s desk, teasing you, Spencer, and Emily like he was getting paid for it. You would miss Spencer looking over at you every couple of minutes to see of you were paying attention or not; making faces at you or mouthing words if you weren’t. You would also miss Emily spinning stories about her past, telling you the good and the bad, letting you closer into her heart. You would obviously miss Penelope’s hugs whenever she could tell if something was off, trying to cheer you up. And Rossi. Rossi buying the coffee at expensive places after begging him too, Rossi giving you advice during a case, Rossi being the father of the team he was meant to be. But… most of all you would miss Aaron.
Aaron speeding to his desk in the morning, desperate for something to wake him up. Aaron walking into casual Friday in a pair of tight-fitting jeans you didn’t know he had. Aaron stepping out of a hotel room in a quarter-zip, unaware of you ogling him. Aaron letting Jack go straight to you whenever the little guy swung by. Aaron’s smell when he hugged you. Aaron. Aaron, Aaron, Aaron.
No. You physically shook your head. Get rid of him, you thought, he’s just going to make it harder for you to leave. The computer screen was giving you a headache now. You finally decided to get up and stretch your legs.
As you moseyed over to Penelope’s cave, you noticed the time: 11:49.
“Hey Pen,” you greeted. “You eat anything? I’ll go grab lunch for us,” you offered.
“Hey mamas!” Derek greeted. You saw his face of the screen, smiling.
“Hey, you. How’s the case?” You asked, immediately happy to talk to the man.
Derek shrugged and looked at someone behind the camera. “Reid! C’mere. It’s y/n/n.”
You heard a couple gasps over the quiet chatter in the precinct and suddenly Emily and Spencer’s face showed up on the screen.
“Hi y/n!” Spencer greeted excitedly. You came to stand behind Penelope, poking her in the cheek as you greeted the both of them.
“Hey Spence! Hey Em!” You were happy to see the pair. Though you had seen them only four days ago, you missed them. A pang of guilt stabbed at your heart: how were you supposed to quit your job if you couldn’t stand four days away from them?
“-ffee shop you’d love. I got that mocha stuff you normally get to try, and it was alright. I guess I see why you like ‘em,” Emily shrugged.
“I’ve been telling you! Anyway, how’s the case?” You asked.
“Close. I can feel it,” the black haired woman said plainly.
Spencer nodded and started talking about the case. The unsub’s main slaughter technique consisted of an electrical wire- of all things- and a Swiss army knife, a different knife each kill. You nodded along, listening to what your friend said. Eventually, you heard “Reid!” and Spencer said a quick goodbye and he was out of frame.
“That’s our cue, baby girl,” Derek said. “I’ll talk to you two ladies later.”
You heard Emily’s ‘bye!’ and the screen turned black.
“Sweetness, I would love some food,” Penelope groaned. “I’ll eat anything you get, but I need a pink lemonade! I need it, y/n, or I may perish.”
You laughed. “Yes ma’am.” With that, you poked her other cheek gently and left.
— 🔥
Aaron heard your conversation. He heard your sweet laugh, how easily you fell into conversation with Derek, Spencer, and Emily. He thought of the few months before you were taken. You were excited about a stray kitten you had found, claiming that the little creature followed you from your apartment to the bookstore you swung by regularly. You hadn’t even realized the calico until you sat down and felt his little paws tugging on your pants, tiny mews trying for your attention.
You were overjoyed to have been- in your words- ‘decided worthy enough for the system to choose you’. Penelope had been buzzing about it too, especially after showing her numerous different pictures of the little fella.
Spencer had asked what you did with him, knowing you didn’t have the time to take care lf a kitten when you were gone so much. You told the team that you had given it to a cousin’s daughter, who was immediately taken with the kitten.
The joy in your tone as you gushed about the kitten was palpable. Aaron loved- liked so many things about you, and how passionate you are was definitely one of those qualities. But he felt his own smile fade off of his face as his eyes fell back on crime scene photos: he had a job to do. And you were unimportant.
— 🔥
You picked up Chinese food, ordering inside the restaurant because the line wrapped around the whole building.
After ordering, you paid and gave the cashier a smile. You kept smiling until you turned away, still feeling her wandering gaze drag harshly down your cheek, eyebrows furrowing as she tore herself away from the scar as dipped below your shirt.
As you stood back and waited, you felt like everyone’s eyes were on you. What an idiot, you thought: a government agent who doesn’t even have the confidence to buy some food. Your jaw tightened and you kept your eyes down, waiting until your last name was called. You saw a little girl look at you as you walked out. She held her hand up to wave and you smiled at her, the chubby cheeks of her face lifting into a bright smile. You looked away when her mother pulled her forward, sharp eyes glaring at you.
The little girl’s toothy smile filled your head as you drove back to the office. The ice in Penelope’s pink lemonade clinked around in the plastic cup as you drove. You drove in silence, thinking of the mother pulling her daughter away. Were you… really that bad? Ugly? Your heart sank into your stomach: a feeling you were starting to get used to. You saw your vision blur, but refused to cry. Maybe that’s why Aaron doesn’t want to see your face anymore. Because you were a monster. MacMillian had done his job- successfully.
— 🔥
Aaron stared at the text on his phone.
From Penelope Garcia 🖥️😄: u need to talk to y/n. ASAP. i  don’t think she’s okay and i think it has to do with the macmillian case
It had been three weeks since the case and you still hadn’t spoken to Aaron since before you were kidnapped. Well, you had talked to him, but it was stiff and professional. He looked over at Rossi who was speaking with a few officers. Aaron felt like an idiot.
He wanted bothing more than to drag you into his office and sit you down to talk. Talk about what happened, what he did, how you felt, how you’re feeling now. Aaron just wanted to help you heal but he knew he can’t. He can’t jeapordize your relationship or his job. Aaron felt a lump grow in his throat. He didn’t even know what he wanted anymore- other than you.
To Penelope Garcia 🖥️😄: How is she? What happened?
From Penelope Garcia 🖥️😄: she went to get food for us and came back all upset. i think the poor girl was about to cry :(
From Penelope Garcia 🖥️😄: and i think there’s something else i need to tell you
From Penelope Garcia 🖥️😄: but it has to be in person.
Aaron leaned back in his chair. “Damn it.”
— 🔥 
A day later the team came home. There was an arrest and the case was closed. There was a lighthearted conversation on the way home, Reid and Rossi playing a card game as Derek, Emily, and J.J. bickered over something (Aaron doesn’t know anything when they get together and scheme). But Hotch was looking out the window and thinking of Penelope’s texts. What had happened to make you shut down? What news did Penelope have for him? How were you doing mentally? How are you at home?
Hotch knew you had nightmares. Hell, everyone could tell. You had growing purple splotches under your eyes, a larger coffee cup every morning, and you zones out consistently during the day. You wore turtlenecks- that Hotch personally thought you looked amazing in- even in 85 degree weather. Not to mention how jumpy you are whenever someone touches you.
Reid had nudged you one day to get your attention; you were staring at nothing and it was time to leave. Derek watched you, a frown on his face after saying your name thrice. Spencer nudged your shoulder with a knuckle and you flew backwards, stumbling out of your chair, a hand coming to your cheek (where The Scar ran down your face). You played it off quickly after seeing Derek, Emily, Rossi, and even Hotch’s looks. But the fear in your eyes… Spencer knew you thought he would hurt you.
After landing, Hotch gave the team the day. As they all cheered and left to get their stuff, Hotch walked into the bullpen where he knew you were still working.
“Y/n.”
God, Aaron missed you. Missed seeing you, being in the same room as you- hell, breathing the same air as you.
You looked up from your computer, eyes falling on an exhausted looking SSA Aaron Hotchner. “Sir?”
“You may have the rest of the day off.” Aaron swallowed, holding your eye contact. Your eyes were one of his weaknesses. After a second of silence, you nodded.
“Thank you, sir.” 
Hotch turned on his heel and made his way to see Penelope. He felt his head spin: your blank stare and emotionless eyes felt like a knife to the gut. Aaron really fucked up, hadn’t he? Fucked up so bad you called him ‘sir’ and acted like you hadn’t bonded over your love for Phil Collins and old action movies. And how to looked away from him like you hadn’t slept in Aaron’s house clad in a pair of his sweatpants and an old sweatshirt, Jack lying on top of you after falling asleep to a cartoon. And especially the way your voice was monotone, completely different from the way you held up a quiet conversation after being sent home because you had a concussion.
“Garcia-“
Penelope stood up the second she heard Hotch’s voice. Tears welled in her eyes, shining brightly against the different colored lights in her cave. “Sir, it’s about y/n. I- I didn’t mean to snoop, but she’s just been so distant lately and ever since that case, she hasn’t gone out with me, Emily, J.J., or even Spencer! I’m really sorry-“
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Garcia. Slow down. What happened?” Aaron asked. He felt bile rise in his throat. He had a gut feeling that whatever the bubbly blonde woman had to say wouldn’t be good. He swallowed.
Penelope harshly wiped the tears off her face. She looked down and then back up, clearly distraught about the news. “Y/n applied to another job… and got accepted.”
🏷️: @zaddyhotch @jazzimac1967 @polireader @magical-spit @angelmather1 @pettydonuts @aremuslupinsimp
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mightymizora · 6 months
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So what I ACTUALLY booted up the game to do was gather some information from the steel foundry and hoo mama I now feel sick and unwell, excellent times.
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So I don't think any of us are shocked or surprised that what's actually going on with the Steel Watch is an absolute horror show. So I took a few little reference shots which I'll put under the cut for some spoilerrrs.
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Quick bonus pic of this very sexy little Banite shrine with yer man in al his glory. This is where the admonishment texts are sat.
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If you go up from here you find the little research library. How lovely! A steel watcher is part gnomish artifice, part Githyanki psionics, and part Mykulite necromancy. You get a body, tadpole the brain for control, zombify it, remove the brain carefully so it yet lives, and place it in an adapted mech suit that was originally designed for gnomish warfare and was horrible adapted!
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What a lovely spot.
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It looks like this is joint research between Gortash and Balthazar (another reason I can't believe this game takes place over weeks. This research must have taken months, if not bordering on a year.)
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So the Banites seized the Gondians, enslaved them, and started gathering test subjects for the Steel Watchers. In a grizzly detail, you can find a heap of bodies that starts off being bagged and ends up... not...
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You can then ALSO go into the centre and commune with some brains in live steel watchers, that have some of their memories but are not in control outside of their command roles! Horrifying.
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All in all absolutely grotesque, Gortash is horrific, horrible
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amazon160 · 10 months
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Spot dabbles because the simps need to be fed:
(art ain’t by me I’m so sorry I couldn’t find the og artist 😭)
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-He is the single most awkward man alive, no doubt. Has no filter. Will compliment or critique you on the spot. Hehe. I just noticed the pun there lol. And if it’s not an annoyed critique, he usually gets all flustered after he realizes what he’s just said.
-Spot is real laid back if not an anxious wreck around you. Clearly a bottom. You’ll get him to be more assertive by telling him that when he does, it’s straight up H O T.
-He seems like a “work now, clean later” kind of guy. I mean, we saw how disorganized his house was. It reminds me of Dipper in this one Gravity Falls episode iykyk 😉. Once he moves in with you, he’ll push himself to pick up after himself more often. Until then, he would much rather come to you than you come to his apartment.
-The man can be a scientific perfectionist, but he does not like to clean :(
-Absolutely loves it when you lay your head on his stomach. He’s a lil chub, so he feels like a pillow :3
-Spot is very self conscious of his body, of course. So he will go ballistic when you caress his square like torso or his spindly limbs, like they’re the most perfect things in the world to you.
-He doesn’t understand how you could love someone like him :’(
-When you trace around his spots or sweet talk him about whatever, he can barely sit still underneath you. Any type of praise will send him through the roof.
-So when you’d say it was hot when Spot was assertive? Every now and then, he’ll take that advice. It’ll be easy to kinda just sneak up on ya from behind with his portals.
-He also likes to give you praise as much as you like to give him it. He knows that the assertion needs to go both ways.
-That’ll be its own blurb with more details for another day.
-But.
-I’ve always had a thing for hypnosis, I love it and I don’t see it used too often. But like, imagine Spot pins you onto the bed or the couch or somewhere comfortable. His portals are keeping your arms out of place and he forces you to look at him the way he makes Miles look to the side in the movie
Erm. 😳
-The spot on his face starts to swirl, or ripple, or whatever motion and you feel all groggy under his gaze, making way for Spot to take advantage of you while you’re under his trance.
AAA--
-I’m not the usual fan of yandere but for a lil wimp like Spot to be acting that way would be HOO--MAMA--especially if this were after his transformation and the end of the movie.
-You wouldn’t stand a chance.
-AND tbh his voice is just so 😩 especially when it’s distorted
-Like is it just me-? Idk.
-He doesn’t like doing the spicy all that much, he’s mostly into the fluff and domestic bits of your relationship. Don’t get me wrong, he appreciates what intimacy he’ll get, but not so much the SPICY stuff y’know
-And this is whether or not you’d say he has his part. For some reason this became a discussion with me and some friends and one of them literally went “maybe it’s in a hole somewhere”. So if that’s where you wanna go, go for it. Heck, I’ve still seen some art of stuff coming out of that face-spot of his. Y’know, the one spot on his head 😋
That’s all the dribbles FOR NOW, but I intend on getting a not spicy but mild blurb of Spot along with that hypnosis concept XD
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punkeropercyjackson · 1 month
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"Percy wouldn't like My Chemical Romance,it dosen't fit his vibe!"Be so fr,Mcr was literally MADE for Perseo Isadore Jackson!!I know y'all have only ever listened to Welcome To The Black Parade but even that fits him in some ways!Give 'em hell,Kid is him singing about Nico and Hazel.Helena is a duet between her and Nico as they reconciele inbetween Botl and Tlo and 'What's the worst that i could say?Things are better if i stay' is Nico realizing he actually deserves her and Sally's love and lets them adopt him so he can finally be away from Hades.Thank you for the Venom is a comfort ballad to Hazel about them mutually helping eachother feel at peace after loosing themselves.I'm not okay(I Promise)is her senior year at Goode High dealing with the events of Hoo and finishing high school at the same time.I never told you what i do for a living is his guilt over his demigod experiences.Not that kind of girl is her transfem bigender swag.My way home is through you,Summertime and Bulletproof heart are his canonical ways of expressing romantic love.It's not a fashion statement,it's a deathwish is her to Luke and the gods except for the ending,which is to Beckendorf.They fucking have a song called 'Mama' LIKE MAN i bet Percy's diy'd himself Mcr inspired outfits and made Mcr themed food too and even done his own version of Gerard looks and you KNOW he loves the Killjoys comics and was the one who introduced Nico and Hazel to Mcr and 'Cementery Drive' and 'Disenchantment' are their anthems."Percy wouldn't like My Chemical Romance"Percy is an afrolatino autistic millenial who had an abusive stepdad and has almost two decades worth of trans moments that her author refuses to let her unpack......and y'all think he hates Mcr but is a huge switfie-Get OUTTA SPOTIFY!!!!!
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austinsmutler · 1 year
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i think this is the request box??? SORRY UGH))) hi!! first time requesting! Could you do a BDE(or Austin)! Elvis x reader (could use she/her pronouns). Reader is timid and socially awkward. During one of Elvis’ shows, the staff at the venue are being really rude to her while she’s trying to get to his dressing room and saying like “just because you’re sleeping with him doesn’t give you any authority to come back here.” Elvis hears about this and confronts them after the show telling them that if they ever talk to his pretty girl like that again that he would do more than just fire them (FIRST TIME REQUESTING IM SORRY THIS IS A REALLY AWKWARD REQUEST)))
Oooh Anon. You’ve single-handedly pulled me out of my writing block with this request. If I could hug you, I would, but instead enjoy Austin!Elvis wanting to burn the world down to protect reader. I hope it's worth the wait.
Keep sending requests for Austin!Elvis, guys! These are so fun!
It's Only Love - Austin!Elvis x Reader - 2,000 words
What you’ll like: Protective Elvis, BDE Elvis, hurt/comfort, pet names ('baby' and 'pretty girl'), Elvis stands up to Colonel
Warnings: Period-typical misogyny, mild violence (nothing major or graphic but there is some grabbing)
Masterlist | Requests are currently open (Please tell me everything you want!)
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“Well I’m leaving town baby, I’m leaving town for sure, then you won’t be bothered with me hanging round your door- but that’s alright…” Your boyfriend drawled into the microphone, leaning in with a sultry sway of his hips that had the crowd sighing. 
Elvis’ eyes found yours as he sang, “But that’s alright, that’s alright now mama, any way you do… Woo-hoo!” He howled as the song, and the show, finished. 
The girls around you went wild, showering the stage in everything from red roses to their bras. It was always a strange sight, especially when one bra fell over Elvis’ head and he turned to throw it at Bill, the bass player, with a laugh.
You’d been there every step of the way on the tour, from Memphis to Lousianna and all the way to North Carolina. No matter where Elvis went, there was a crowd of girls screaming his name and throwing their garments at his feet. 
But you weren’t one of them. Elvis’ eyes always picked you out in the crowd and held you, performing your favorites as a secret serenade in every show.
You’d known Elvis since you were children, growing up together on the outskirts of Tupelo, sneaking into Black Pentecostal churches together, and- slowly as growing up- falling in love. 
Your parents hardly had to be persuaded to let you follow him across the country, because you had practically been married since the first time Elvis had grabbed your hand and led you inside the tent as they sang Up Above My Head. Elvis didn’t just teach you the words, he’d burned them into your soul, never letting go of your hand once as you both sang,
“I wanna soothe my heart, I wanna ease my mind, I wanna move my shoes and see what I can find…”
Elvis had found music, but you’d found him. 
** **
Usually Elvis would sneak out from backstage and meet you after the show, but with bigger crowds and Elvis more recognizable than ever, you’d agreed it was best for you to simply come backstage from now on. Everyone who worked with Elvis knew you- even the band members affectionately called you Mrs Presley. 
Which made it surprising when the bouncers- rare members of the team who weren’t Elvis’ direct friends or family -cut you off. 
“Backstage is for band members only.”
“What? Tommy, come on.” You put your hands on your hips, frowning up at the tall man. “You know me.”
“Sorry ma’am, Colonel’s orders.”
“Excuse me?” You caught eyes with Bill, passing behind Tommy. “Hey, Bill!”
“Hey, that's ol’ Mrs Presley!” Bill greeted you with a smile. “C’mon boys, let her through.”
“Backstage is for band members only.” The other bouncer, Tex, repeated. “Sorry Bill.”
You looked at Bill for help, but he was frowning at the other men. “Well, I’m a band member, and she’s with us. Let her through.” 
“Can’t. Colonel’s say-so.” Tommy said expressionlessly. “Real sorry, Bill.”
“You’re gonna be.” Bill looked at you. “Wait here, it’s gonna be alright.”
The second Bill was out of earshot, the bouncers focused their attention on you. It was the first time all tour you’d felt… afraid. It was a hot July night and you’d left your cardigan at home. Suddenly your shoulders felt too bare as they looked you up and down, disgust slowly filtering onto their faces. 
“Just because you’re fucking the boss doesn’t mean you can come back here.” Tommy growled, while Tex stepped forward to shove you further back. 
“He'll be done with you soon enough. Girls like you get boring after a while.” 
You bit your lip, fighting back tears, but you instinctively pushed back against the larger man. Tex’s face twisted in rage as he grabbed your arms with bruising strength. 
“Don’t think you can get away with that, just because you’re sleeping with Presley.”
He shoved you back so hard you hit the wall. You cried out in shock and pain as your head hit the wall and the world turned blurry.
“What the fuck is going on here?” A low voice growled from behind the bouncers. Elvis, still in his pink and black stage suit.
Bill was with him, but when he saw the scene, he took a step back from the singer as if he’d explode. If it were possible, Elvis would be ticking like a bomb ready to blow. 
“Elvis-” Tommy started, but Elvis silenced him with one hand. His dark blue eyes fixed on Tex, who was still in front of you, so uncomfortably close you could smell the sweat under his suit. It made you nauseous. 
You were still dazed from your head hitting the wall, unable to speak as Elvis stalked forward. For every step forward Elvis took, Tex took a step back. 
“I’m gonna give you one chance to explain what you were doing, touching my girl like that.” Elvis snarled. “And that’s one more chance than you deserve, so be quick.”
“W-well, boss-” Tex suddenly didn’t seem so big, hands at his sides, staring at his shoes. He looked more like a child being scolded. “We didn’t mean to-”
“Then what did you mean to do?” Elvis snapped. He was between you and Tex now, hand grasping yours with a reassuring squeeze. "Cause it looked to me like you were throwing my girl around like a rag doll, which she ain't." 
“Listen, we-” Tommy stepped forward, but Elvis interrupted. 
“No, you both listen. You’re fired. If I see either of you near my show or my pretty girl again, I’ll do more than just fire you. Got it?”
He didn’t wait for their response, wrapping an arm around you and guiding you backstage to his dressing room. The pain didn’t fully set in until he sat you in his chair. You winced.
Elvis felt at the lump on the back of your head. No skin was broken, but it still throbbed. Colorful bruises were already beginning to form on your arms where Tex had all-but thrown you backwards.
“Oh, no. No, no, no." Elvis murmured when he saw the marks. He was on his knees, looking up at you with a pained expression. “I’m so sorry, baby.” 
He kissed every bruise on your skin so softly you barely felt the heat of his lips. All the while he murmured comforting words, 
“I ain’t ever gonna let this happen to you again. Never gonna let anything like this happen again. I promise.”
You were silent, replaying Tommy and Tex's words over in your head. They had no idea what they were talking about, but the words still left you with a lingering nausea, far worse than any of the bruising on your body.
“How’s my girl doing?”
“I’m okay.” Your voice was meek, even to your own ears. 
"Hey, pretty girl," Elvis frowned, cupping your chin, running his thumb over your bottom lip. “You can tell me.”
And you did. As the tears finally spilled over your eyes, you told Elvis the worst of what the bouncers said. Tension flooded into his shoulders as you repeated their words.
Just because you’re fucking the boss doesn’t mean you can come back here.
“Those sons of-” Elvis caught himself, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, baby. They ain’t ever gonna work again, I'll make sure of it.” 
He kissed the back of one hand, then the other. Elvis’ eyeliner was messy after a night of performing, sweat still glazing his skin. He looked… tired. You’d never seen Elvis tired before, and the sight scared you more than anything. For the first time in twenty years of knowing him, he looked less than invincible. 
You wiped the sweat from his forehead, leaning down to kiss him. 
“I’ll be fine, really.” You smiled weakly. “You didn’t have to fire them.”
“If I ever had to see ‘em again I’d do worse than that, baby.” He pulled you in close to kiss your forehead, then your lips. “I’m gonna talk to the Colonel. Make sure he files a police report and hires real security for our next show.” 
You bit your lip, remembering their words. Colonel’s orders. “Elvis…”
Your lip wobbled. Elvis trusted nobody in the world more than the Colonel, aside from his mother. Would he believe you? 
Warm hands rubbed up and down your shoulders. “Hey, I’m right here.”
“The Colonel made them do it, they said he said not to let me through.” You blurted out, clamping a hand over your mouth, tears rising to your eyes again. Elvis’ hands froze on your shoulders. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”
Elvis stood up. Through your tears, you could see the fire in his eyes. You thought he was angry before? Well, he was furious now. Hands bunched to fists at his sides, he didn't move for a long moment, just stared. Then he left the room without a word. 
It was common knowledge you didn’t get along with the Colonel. Elvis considered him a godsend, the man who launched his entire career. You considered him a toad, especially after one conversation you’d overheard in Graceland:
“If the fans know about her, they won’t follow you.”
Elvis thought you’d gone up to bed, but you had lingered to grab a glass of water… and listen to the men talking business. The thought had never crossed your mind before that you were part of that business. 
“Little girlfriends, they don’t last. But your music? My dear boy, that is immortal- if you play your cards right.”
Elvis laughed, and your blood froze. Then the laughter stopped abruptly. 
“You’re serious? What’re you talking about, Colonel?” Your boyfriend’s voice was light and playful, but there was an edge to it. Something underneath you’d never heard before. “I sing from the heart, and she is my heart. Without her, there’s no music.”
“My boy-”
“Understand me?”
“But-”
“Do you understand me?” The playfulness dropped from his voice. Elvis was easily persuaded to go along with just about anything the Colonel dreamed up (“His plans got us this far, haven’t they?”) but from that night one thing was clear: your relationship was not up for negotiation. 
Until tonight.
You stayed there for a while, emptiness settling in your stomach. Elvis didn’t believe you. Why would he? The Colonel had got him this far. Got him a tour in all fifty states. Made him enough money to buy Graceland and as many Cadillacs as he could imagine. You were just a girl from Tupelo, he could find another.
Still, you waited, hoped he’d come back. You could apologize, say you must’ve misunderstood, say anything to get him back. A difficult life with Elvis and the Colonel was better than an empty life without the man you loved. 
Minutes turned to a full hour, so you left, dragging your feet towards the exit, hoping your motel room would still be available to you. Elvis wouldn’t leave you in the middle of America, miles from home with no way back, would he?
Distant shouting caught your attention. You recognized Elvis’ voice immediately and followed down the corridor to a slightly-open door that simply said ‘Colonel’.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Elvis shouted so loud it made you jump, even as you paused outside the door to listen. “Who’re you gonna ban next, my mama?”
“Your mother is not the problem, my boy-” The Colonel sounded flustered, barely himself.
“And neither is she!” Elvis snarled, slamming something down inside the room. “Goddammit. I’ve told you before, I sing from the heart. You want to stop that?"
Silence. Had the Colonel ever been lost for words before?
Elvis continued, "Fine, we can break all our promises. How about this? I don’t see her backstage before and after every performance, I don’t sing. Or-" Elvis snapped his fingers, "Better idea, we go public. Let's see how many fans actually follow me for my music. I don't care about the rest of it."
“Elvis-”
“Those are your options. I’ll give you one more chance, but that’s it. And if I ever, ever find out you pulled this horseshit again, you're done."
The Colonel was silent for a while, but perhaps he muttered something quietly, or simply nodded, because the next thing you knew, Elvis was coming out of the room, fists still clenched and face flushed with anger. 
All of that melted away when he saw you. 
“Baby,” He murmured, taking your hand in his. “What’re you doing out here?”
"I- I thought-" Your body shook, and Elvis took the black jacket from his shoulders to drape it across yours. He led you away from the Colonel's door, back to the privacy of his dressing room. 
"You don't have to throw your life away because of me." You finally said.
Elvis smiled, wiping the tears from your cheeks with both hands. "Sweet girl." 
Without warning he picked you up and sat back in his chair, holding you on his lap while he peppered your face with kisses.
"A life without you? That's not one I want to be living." He pressed your foreheads together and let out a sigh. "But this right here, you and me? That's what's right. And I will protect that- protect you, Always."
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Now that the submissions are closed, were there any funny submissions that topped the previously stated funny submissions?
I might end up publishing the full response list to browse through at your leisure and so that someone else can seek out the hee hoo funny ha has rather than making myself go through all 1522 again, but I would like to highlight a few submissions that stuck with me:
character: Sam Winchester
from: supernatural
why?: oh COME ON. ur gonna make me defend sam fucking winchester as the most character of all time?? he literally has bangs. he died at 23. he died at 26. he died a lot of other times too but those are the most important ones. he's jesus and he's the antichrist and he gets placed on a visual crucifix too many times to count. he's an addict and he's a christian and god is making his life miserable on a personal level. he is wholeheartedly convinced that there are other people who "have it worse" than him (he was tortured by satan for centuries). again he HAS bangs. he's been possessed too many times to ever feel like his body is his own. he's in a constant cycle of being beaten down and KNOWING he shouldn't get back up, and not wanting to get back up, and getting back up anyway like a kicked puppy who thinks maybe this time they won't get kicked. never ever gives up but in a sad and pathetic way that makes u feel vaguely nauseous. he's psychic. he bought a ring for his girlfriend while they were still in college. he went to stanford. he's unclean in the biblical sense but he prays every night. he had a queer allegory arc spanning multiple seasons that people ignore so they can claim he's cishet. he totally fucked a 300-year-old witch while studying under her to become a witch himself. everyone he has ever loved is dead and he knows it's his fault. he spends the first few decades of his life angry -- SO angry -- at everything he's been put through, full of rage at the things he's suffered and the people who caused them. he is punished for this fury, taught to never be angry again, and after a while he just lies down and takes it. he is a serial killer and on the fbi's most wanted list. he uses "low sodium" as an insult. he's a vegetarian. he never drives his father's car. he has demon blood flowing through his veins and his best friend is a literal biblical angel. he's an abomination. he thinks that hope is kind of the whole point. he has BANGS. he killed his brother several times over, and he destroyed the world to bring his brother back to life a few times too. he spent time in a psych ward. he thinks he is terribly hard to love. his mother destroyed his life before he was even born and he still calls her "mama." he died at 23. he was kicked out of the house when he was 18, and then was kicked out of basically everywhere else for the rest of his life. his only family locked him in a panic room and left him to die. he forgave them for that because he doesn't know how to do anything but forgive. he's got bangs. anyway
what do you want?: u KNOW what i want. if my best friend sam doesn't win this bracket i'm crashing my car into the world's tallest and thickest tree
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character: jesse pinkman
from: breaking bad
why?: Well.Well. i. so. hes THE character okay he was created in gods eyes only to be sculpted and changed by the wrath of satan (or the other way around). Its jesse pinkman. have you ever watched 5 seasons of a grown man with cancer abusing another grown man in order to support his family who hate him because of the way hes trying to support them (drugdealing)?No? well i need you to and then come back to me. jesses relationship with the aforementioned Grown man with cancer (walter white) is so multidimensional you could refer to jesse as walters affair, student, victim, partner in crime, son figure etc and it would be RIGHT because they are all encompassing and fucked up. and jesse loses everything and he cries and hes so emotional but he PREVAILS. he prevails and he precedes walter and all the toxically masculine men who hated him, who convinced him was less than who he was. and the dog motif!!!!! hes a loyal dog but his owner has been slowly feeding him poison, to break him down slowly, and its killing him so he BITES because it hurts and they all talk about the rabid dog he is, how badly the owner needs to put him down. and then his owner gives him away to much worse men, owners who wont feed him the poison slowly, but will beat and use him relentlessly. and then his old owner is going to die and he knows it and he needs to secured his reputation and put everything in place. he saves the dog and kills the dogs new owners. he BEGS for his dog to kill him, to kill him like he had done to the dog. but this dog is not like any of his owners, hw will never be. so he barks and says that he should do it himself and he RUNS. hes crying and whimpering but hes not getting beaten or poisoned anymore, hes a free dog and its up to him to make his own future without the influence of evil owners. THAT'S jesse Pinkman. hes the bride of heisenburg hes the dog motif and he loves and loves and protects animals and kids because he couldn't protect himself and he wins with tears in his eyes. um also hes trans so ^ hasnt watched this show in like 7 months i have mo idea what im talking about
what do you want?: one billion dollars
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who: Victor frankenstein
from: Mary shelley frankenstein
why?: I don't remember anything about this book except for the incredible and relatable line of 'I raveged an oatcake' cos God man me too
what do you want?: An oatcake
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who: sphagnum moss
from: real life
why: Love that bitch. They are light and hold moisture well. and they also form peat bogs when they die which is swag
what do you want?: To be turned into a zebra mussel and sleep in a Marimo moss ball and not have to worry about relationships or taxes
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who: Guy Montag
from: Fahrenheit 451
why?: he kills his boss with fire which i think is pretty cool and something we can all aspire to. i also want him to be in an online popularity contest because i want ray bradburys head to explode from beyond the grave
what do you want?: prove life after death so i can destroy ray bradbury’s soul
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DRAGONS RISING SEASON 2 SPOILERS!!
I'm trying to just get my thoughts out because HOO BOY
Lloyd, my baby boy, how on EARTH did the writers fill him with MORE trauma - im pretty sure hes going to explode soon - Sam Vincent's voice acting WAS SO GOOD, the geniune panicky breathing put ME on edge and the way he sounded in AGONY everytime another vision came OUUUCH - AND AND his vision/fear thingy from the trials?? Devastating how could you let Wu say the words, writers when I get you - also he was trying to be so helpful to Arin please he's just a little guy trying to parent I love him so much
the SECOND we got told about the warrior wolf masks and them shattering the good inside people in order to get strength/Spinjitzu/power etc my IMMEDIATE first thought was "Arin..." and then they bring up the fact that HES SO GOOD SO OF COURSE THIS MEANS THAT HE WOULD GET SO MUCH POWER AND THEN HIS RUN IN WITH RAS AHHH (also while I know it was a weird like knock-out vision, seeing him see Nya and Lloyd as his parents was cute to me (NOT IN A SHIP WAY DONT BE WEIRD) - Nya has been very "Mama Nya" so far and I'm loving it <3) - Arin's arc has been PAINFUL (in a good way) and THAT LAST BIT WITH SORA HELPING HIM DO OBJECT SPINJITZU DONT I KNOW THATS GONNA COME BACK TO BITE THEM IN THE ASS
Nya,,, and Kai,,, AND WYLDFYRE MY BABIES OOOUGHHH HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM - seeing more childhood stuff for Nya and Kai is ALWAYS a delight they were so small just little babies and the way that it was how BOTH of them unlocked rising dragon OOOUGH THEY LOVE EACHOTHER SO MUCH - "My big brother is my hero, and now he's the world's hero, again." 😭😭 genuine agony - especially with Nya and Wyldfyre's hug afterwards - the little sob Nya let out DONT TOUCH ME - they miss him so much, that's his sister and daughter ooooughhh
JAY??? JAY!! what a pleasant surprise - oh jesus how are you traumatised with no memories - he was so terrified to have it revealed that he can use lightning my boy im so sorry - I hope he recovers from the agony of desk jobs soon <3 ALSO THE FLASHBACK WITH COLE AND JAY??? THEY'RE NERDS, THEY'RE SUCH BIG NERDS I LOVE THEM AND MISS THEM PLEASE BRING THEM BACK I MISS THEM THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS YOUR HONOUR - I'm not even gonna think about the fear/vision thing from Nya in the trials because OUCH
Cole and Geo <333 and their family <333 my babygirl Bonzle i love her so much 😔 - WHEN (if) Kai and Bonzle escape that maze thingy they BETTER come out friends - as soon as he meets her he calls her kid??? That man needs to stop being a dad to every breathing that crosses his path
Ras was as awful as always, hate him with every fibre in my being I hope he perishes /pos /pos - Jordana was GENUINELY tweaking out at the end there, can't wait to see her go insane and absolutely rock the Ninja's shit <33
SPEAKING OF ROCKING THE NINJA'S SHIT - CINDER???? godDAMN - what a ruthless little man actually genuinely I want to wipe that dumb smug smirk off of his face /pos - I enjoyed Sora trapping him in a box like a feral cat, deserved <333 (I will say, hearing his voice for the first time was... interesting 👀)
Sora is as wonderful as always, I love her so much <33 SHE WAS SO EXCITED LEARNING SPINJITZU WITH RIYU THEYRE SO CUTE YOUR HONOUR - she's so silly I love her epsecialy since all she wanted to do was hype up Arin because thats her best friend who she loves so much dont talk to me <3
I think that's it?? Just goddamn what an EXPERIENCE - I love Dragons Rising - I can't wait for part 2 <3
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ragingstillness · 1 month
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Finally getting around to watching CM:E
Thoughts thus far:
Rossi is sad and I remain pissed that they killed Krystal for no reason
Grey!Em is still my favorite thing
Happy to hear some swearing, the original show needed more of it
Let Rossi say fuck 2k24
“Remote Garcias” “we’re not gonna learn their names” lol Luke stays savage
“Anglophile baking club” oh come on Garcia. We all saw how shockingly queer everyone at that party is. It’s a kiki, plain and simple
Weren’t Luke and Garcia going to go on a date? Oh it’s been three years
“Take your carbs and exit sir” I love Garcia so much
“Hoo-ha” lol, burn Goop to the ground
“Korean drama” it’s a BTS anti unsub
Garcia straight up flapping I love her so much
Damn the writers for this Krystal flashback
Emily is gonna eat this Deputy Director alive
Oh thank fuck at least the rest of Dave’s family is alive
The Galvez cheek kiss *eeeee*
That little head kiss, Rossi’s such a dad/grandad
Damn Sicarius how do you have the time to dig all these holes?
Hahahahahaha I picked up on Tara and Rebecca at the same time as Emily
Waha Tara being openly queer!!!
Paget is like a proud mama that someone in the BAU finally gets to be queer
Dang this cashier girl is like literally saying exactly what I do at work
“My floof” I relate to this girl so hard
“Jagoff!” “Fuckhead!” Get his ass Rossi
Damn this therapy talk is so accurate go Garcia
Garcia and Rossi’s friendship is my Roman Empire
Man I can’t believe Sicarius actually thought that he could control obsessional killers. Dude, they aren’t going to listen to you
Sicarius you anti-retail asshole. I will dream of smashing you in the head with an axe from the hardware store where I work
Emily and Dave walking together both with grey hair look so cool now
“Is everyone but me getting laid?” “I’m not” lol ngl I appreciate the increased sexual humor
That’s my girl Garcia! I hate what it’s gonna do to your mental health to be back but I’m happy to see you
Dude if you’re gonna be a criminal psychopath with these amazing computer skills, how are you not at least making money off of it? Like, there is zero reason for you to be poor. Normally I wouldn’t say that about anyone but dude, are you seriously providing these kill kits for free?
Wait a sec he actually /took/ the dog? He didn’t just kill it? Dickhead!
“This fucking guy” yeah Rossi, read my mind about most unsubs on this show
Rebecca and Tara’s height difference is kind of killing me in this elevator scene they’re so cute
Garcia are you wearing Rocky Horror earrings? Love that
Haha fine furry friends returns
Dang y’all is Rossi the only one allowed to say fuck? It makes him sound like a teenager that just learned all the swear words. Let Garcia say fuck 2k24
I can’t believe that it’s an actual plot line that COVID prevented serial killers from killing so they had to change it up and go online. I’m sure the writers thought it sounded cool but it just sounds silly. What, did Sicarius’ first kill kits also include PPE?
Also why are these guys so willing to kill themselves for Sicarius? They seem like devoted to the cause and frankly, so many of these guys are narcissists and we’ve just seen one defy Sicarius, why are they listening to him? Seriously? No matter what he has on them, why would they consider it more important to follow his orders than their compulsions?
“You two-faced little jerk” yeah I hope he heard that
Soon we’re gonna be seeing Emily’s daydreams about killing people, not just Sicarius’.
Seriously, the idea of Sicarius having money problems is so dumb to me. He’s been shown to have immense resources and technological capability as well as ample time to use them. There is no reason why he should be financially unstable. I get that stuff like private school is expensive but dude, DUDE, you’re running a network of serial killers! It’s not THAT expensive! I feel like this whole plot point is set up to humanize him to a degree and it isn’t working well.
God whatever props guy worked on these posts for the fake forum Sicarius is using had fun. There’s a user named George_Jungle_fkr whose post consists of “I have a waifu, too!!! She lives in the jungle. I fuck in the jungle. I kill in the jungle.” With a profile picture of George of the Jungle. No shit. Pause on that screen, it’s wild. User GetHungry1893 with a post about not judging people and a profile pic of a man with bloody hands sucking on a bone. User NotSoFast with a drag racing car profile pic and with a post titled “I’m getting more guns!” That then goes on to use the phrase “waifu” and *wink wink*. User Tiredoftheblood101 with a bloodspot clipart profile pic and use of the term “OP”, asking about how to kill his MOM (capitalization his). Also in the background a user named Anonymous1232 with the anonymous logo as their profile pic.
Wait Sicarius actually has a real job? He wasn’t just bullshitting about it so he could travel all over the country? What, is running this serial killer network like a side hustle for him? Wait wait wait and he’s going on business trips that the company is actually sending him on? Like he’s following their directives? And driving a company car? This is insane. If they’re gonna characterize Sicarius the way they have been, none of this makes sense. Side note: the guy playing Sicarius is actually a good actor and after some of the previous disappointments (Scratch and the Chameleon) it’s nice to see.
This DEI discussion between Sicarius’ daughter and the redneck neighbor was not something I expected to see in Criminal Minds.
“You fucking beta cuck” yeah pretty much what I’d expect from a guy like this. But also, hysterical to hear incel language being used in real life. Damn man, you just called his daughter a bitch? He’s gonna flay you alive! I wouldn’t provoke anyone like that, even without knowing they’re the head of a serial killer network. Anyone can snap you dumbass.
“Somebody should do something about that guy.” Oh of course she says this to the serial killer. Good lord. “I’m glad you’re not that somebody.” Oh honey yes he is lol. Or he’ll send someone from the network to do it.
Ha I just realized that I carried a case exactly like the kill kit cases when I worked for the Red Cross. Contained equally suspicious things (needles, gauze, etc), if you didn’t know what company I was working for lol.
“Those who bankrolled you” then why is he having money problems god this is so dumb! “I’m not putting a gun to my head” yeah I predicted this would happen.
More hysterical users on Sicarius’ platform: User NotSoFast at it again “I miss my family. Bad aim” User Ript4u, with a muscular torso pic talking about the fruitlessness of love, calling people lemmings, “simps,” “bitchboy,” “I will dominate,” and the delightful paragraph “These bitches think they’re got it all figured out. Walking on a cloud of happy thoughts and unicorn farts.”
Haha Garcia said fan fiction! We made it to the mainstream lol.
“Honey let it go” woman he called your daughter a bitch! I’d punch him for that!
Damn Tara you’re gonna get your gf fired
“Typical bureaucratic bullshit” yes YES the old man is out! Rossi ur a king
Is Sicarius really there in person! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Oh wow he is what a dumbass! And so close to the bomb zone too! Did you want to get blown up too?!
Yeah bringing in domestic terror was a mistake.
“Excellent. I never wanted it in the first place” also kind of misogynistic to turn to Rossi after Emily rejected you.
“Wank-weasel” Garcia ur my spirit animal
“You’re a hedge fund manager with a badge. You have never done anything” get his ass Emily! I guess after Barnes the BAU has completely lost their patience for bureaucratic dickheads
“I just wanted you to hold my hand” they are soft gfs and I love them
About time one of the unsubs turned on Sicarius
Screw the propaganda that you can just make dogs eat people when they’ve been totally docile and relaxed their whole lives
Hey Sicarius, you remembering how annoying it is to do your own cleanup now?
Who the fuck is this guy Elias is hallucinating?
Genuinely curious how he finds time to make these custom foam inserts for the briefcases
Ok why is it taking so long to identify the victims found from Sicarius? This is set in 2022, DNA is fast and common.
Can’t believe this Tyler guy looked into Garcia enough to send her the encrypted locations but not enough to figure out she literally worked for the FBI. His anger over her handing over the info makes zero sense.
I know a lot of ppl hate Will for getting in the way of Jemily but he’s a very good husband. Patient, intelligent, cute. I like him.
“I believe you, but will Mom?” This new sibling energy between Rossi and Emily is everything. Also that burgundy blazer set is amazing on her.
I think Tyler has a little crush on Garcia. He just wants a woman who will kick his ass.
“Because of you I feel safe in our home” so cute literally so romantic I love them when they’re sweet
Only tangentially related but I’d love to see an episode where a serial killer breaks into another serial killer’s house. Like would it go “whoops my bad” or “you asshole you jacked my plan!” or would they just kill each other
Garcia’s little rant is hilarious
“I’m not a problem. I’m a delight. I’m a little dramatic but wonderful” yes you are Garcia
I almost believe the deputy director truly didn’t want to be overseeing this case. My guess, without watching the episode, is that he wants to prove he has some field experience so Emily can’t use it against him anymore. Also he might have a small crush on her and be a little afraid of Rossi. This season is full of men who like dominant women and I support that. I don’t support any sort of relationship between this man and Emily but I support the concept
“Bullshit. She broke your heart.” Welcome to working with profilers sir.
Also finally figured out what Emily’s scathing inditement of the deputy director reminded me of: it’s Hotch’s profiling of his team to defend them against Strauss
Emily’s smile when she finally got one over the deputy director, so pretty
Garcia and her ‘puter like she literally did the cat meme
Ok the orange crocs are a sin I would throw a folder at him too
Not surprised Will doesn’t have cancer but pissed they even teased us with it.
Haha Garcia is gonna make that dude keep the cat lol
Oh hey Sicarius. Nice to see you. Gonna kill a senator now?
lol Sicarius is like yeah I’m not sticking around for this freaky Oedipal shit. You can bankroll me, but I’m not into voyeurism on this
I know we’re supposed to be worried but 1) using a streaming site undercuts the tension of thinking a character will die and 2) that was the sexiest wheels up ever
Hahaha wow they didn’t even try to give us a realistic justification for Sicarius taking off his shirt
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enchantinglyjade · 2 years
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Milk & Honey - Ch. 14
Austin!Elvis x Black!OC
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Summary: Cousin Billy has a surprise.
Warning: Slight NSFW, mentions of sex, swearing, mentions of nudity, Pearl 
Song: Smokestack Lightnin’ by Howlin’ Wolf
Playlist
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I rub my eyes, still tired from the little amounts of sleep I’ve gotten. I stretch out on the silky sheets, smiling at the sensation of them gliding along my skin. The door shuts and I peek my eyes open.
I watch as Elvis strides to the bathroom, walking past at least 3 places he’s had me bent over in the past few hours alone. “Mmm, I missed you, baby.” I moan out, stretching myself across the pillows again, before turning over to faceplant into one.
“Only been gone for 3 minutes.” He chuckles, poking his head around the corner. “But I missed you too.” He blows me a kiss, and with a wink, he goes back to brushing his teeth. “Mama insists you stay for dinner. Says Billy’s got some surprise for everyone and she’d love for you to be ‘part of it.” He says sloppily while he scrubs his teeth.
I giggle. “‘Course I will.” I hug the pillow into my chest, resting my chin on it. “Imma little nervous though.” I admit.
He spits, before killing the lights and coming back into the room with me. “Why, baby?” He asks, confused, sex still glowing behind his eyes.
I bite my lip. “Well, it felt weird listening to you talk about stuff with your mama the other day.”
He furrows his brows, walking over to the bed. “Whaddya mean, Bumble?”
I shrug nervously, sitting up, to now cling onto the blanket. “About the Colonel and movies and all that other stuff. You don’t never talk to me about that. I didn’t even know you had so much on your plate. I just…wanna be an ear for you. I dunno, it just made me feel kinda…worthless. Like there’s a whole side of you I don’t know nothing about.” I hesitantly look up to see his reaction, hoping he wouldn’t be upset.
He sits on the edge of the bed at my feet. “Baby, I ain’t gonna talk business to ya. I wanna save you from that part of my life. It can be boring and downright cruel. I don’t want you all tangled up in it. Gotta keep my angel innocent.” He rubs my inner thigh through the blanket, attempting to sneak it from my grasp.
I laugh, yanking it back up, covering my bare body. “Innocent, huh? Elvis, we just got done.” He groans, plopping his head down into my lap. “How are you gonna manage without me tonight? Think you’ll make it through the night when I finally go back home?”
“I’ll just have to dream about you to keep me satisfied.” He mumbles into the comforter.
“Unless you wanna come to my house.” I offer only half joking.
“Nuh uh, baby, your daddy’ll shoot me dead as night.”
I laugh, playing with his hair. Just then the sound of a howling man faintly comes through his radio speaker.
He jumps up in excitement upon hearing this, causing me to jump at the sudden movement. “You remember when your mama and my daddy used to say the blues was devil music?” I nod, eyebrow raised, watching him enliven over the song. He chuckles at the memory, picking himself off the bed. “Then we’d go to my place after daddy went out for the day, cause mama was the only one that let us use the radio?” He all but skips to his radio. “They been playin this new Howlin’ Wolf record. Listen to this.” He cranks up the volume, the man's voice becoming more clear through the static.
‘Whoa-oh, fare ya well
Never see, a-you no more
A-why don’t ya hear me cryin’?
Ooh-ooh, whoo-hoo, whoo’
He squints his eyes shut tight. “Woo! That’s some devil music, be there!” He shouts.
I giggle, watching him step passionately back towards me to the music. “You’re a big ol sinner, Elvis.”
He chuckles, leaning over me to kiss me down into the pillows, finally getting the sheets from my grasp. “Yes, I am.”
Once we finally managed to separate from each other and get cleaned up, night had crept upon us and Gladys had dinner ready for the family.
We sit at the table, all eyes on Billy as we wait for his surprise.
“Well, what the hell ya waitin for?” Elvis asks.
“Oh quite, boy. Let‘m speak.” His mama scolds him.
The doorbell rings throughout the house, causing Billy to squeal like a pig as he dashes towards the entrance of the home. Aw, I wonder if little Billy finally got himself a girlfriend. I smile at Elvis, who looks particularly annoyed with each one of his cousins.
The sound of heels echo through the building getting closer and closer, and suddenly my gut begins to bubble up with a rotting feeling.
Just then a blonde woman walks around the corner, hand in hand with Billy, adorned in a baby blue dress. My dress.
“Everyone, this is my new girlfriend. Pearl.” He announces happily as if he isn’t holding hands with an actual demon.
All but Elvis and I greet her.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Pearl.” Gladys chimes in. “Please, have a seat.”
Billy pulls her out a chair, clearly nervous and struggling to remember what a gentleman would do for a lady. Poor thing can barely remember his own name. Luckily for him, he had two less pairs of eyes on him because they were too busy judging his new girlfriend.
I glare her down from across the table.
She responds with a smile and a wave. “It’s a real honor bein here. Thank you for welcomin me into your beautiful home.” She exclaims.
Gladys brushes off her compliment. “Oh, it's always a pleasure when one of the boys brings a new friend back home.”
George snickers at her comment. Clearly, it was not always a pleasure, and considering what Billy dragged in tonight, I believe it.
- Elvis POV -
Bumble and I eat in silence, wondering what to make of all this. I don’t know much about her family situation right now, but from what she has told me, it’s been hell for her. I feel helpless not knowing how to comfort her during these times. I can’t imagine having another family I never knew about. What I do know is that this Pearl gal is the one responsible for leaving my baby all but helpless in the middle of Oklahoma or whatever, so we’re gonna have some problems, her and I, at the very least.
I was beyond happy when Bumble wanted to stay these two nights with me, and not just cause the activities we were doing, not that I’m complaining one bit about it though. I don’t wanna come between her and her family, but I’d rather her be far away from Pearl if she’s gonna keep putting her in danger like that.
Since the day I saw her I had my suspicions, but I really wanted to hope and pray that Pearl was just a different type of girl. A girl that was just in love with music and curious about all types from all backgrounds and wanted to make a difference just like me. But now I see all of her little tricks, how everything she did was just to hurt Bumble.
I couldn’t be more proud of my baby though. All this shit bein’ thrown at her and she never lost faith in us, in me. She never questioned my loyalty or felt weak to Pearl, and instead she’s been standing up to her like the strong woman I’ve always known her to be. 
“Well, I saw him across the Drive-In and I just couldn’t keep my eyes off Billy. Somethin about ‘em just-.”
What a load o’- “Billy, I need to talk to you.” I abruptly rise from my chair, legs squeaking against the floor.
“Elvis, baby. What are you doin? What’s wrong?” Mama asks, upset from my rudeness.
I don’t look at her, just keep staring down at Billy, who looks like a deer in headlights, cautiously pushing out his chair to follow me wherever I may need him. It’s not until I feel a warm, gentle touch against my hand that I take my eyes off him. Bumble looks up at me nervously, questioning my intentions. I give her a look, before turning back to Billy.
I grab his arm, bringing him around the corner into the living room. Once out of view, he yanks his arm back. “Man, what the hell, Elvis?”
“You need to stop seein Pearl.” I throw out bluntly.
His eyebrows furrow in anger. “El, what?”
“Billy, I’m tellin you, she ain’t who you think she is.”
He shakes his head with a dry laugh, looking down at his feet. “You just can’t step out of the spotlight for one second, now can you?” His eyes dart back up at me unbelievably. 
I reach out for him. “Bill-”
“Save it.” He slaps my hand away, walking back to the dining room.
As he exits, I see my little blonde headed cutie snoopin around the corner. She spins on her toes watching Billy storm out past her as she enters. She waddles over to me as fast as she can in those high heels of hers, still in that same pink dress I bought her a few days ago. She shoots me a concerned look with those big ol’ honey eyes of hers. “Hey, what happened?” She asks, studying my face with her hands on my chest.
I shake my head in disappointment, grabbing at her soft waist. “Tried warnin ‘em bout Pearl, but he don’t want none of it.”
She sighs, “Sorry you got dragged into this. Didn’t think Dad would show up out of the blue and infect the whole city.” She rolls her eyes at the thought.
I chuckle, watching her think.
I swear I’m in love with everything this girl does. I’m dumb for the woman. Dumb for the way she can light up any room. Dumb for her worrying. Dumb for the way her long lashes shyly flutter when I compliment her, and then when she tries to hide that beautiful smile in embarrassment. Those little freckles on her nose, her perfect plump lips I could use as a pillow, her glistening skin, her siren voice, the way she dances on stage just for me. The way she can be bat shit crazy sometimes. An innocent, doll-like face that hides a whole lotta passion and dirtiness beneath it. My god, she’s perfect. All mine.
These past few nights have been perfect, spending nothing less than hours in between those heavenly legs. She’s a sin I can’t stop committing, just left wanting more and more. It wasn’t even until this morning I remembered I’ve been ignoring my manager and the news and whatever bullshit they gotta say about me. Managed to hide a radio broadcasting about Bumble from her this morning. Obviously word got out that I brought her to Graceland, but I never want her to hear what they're saying about her, it won't do her no good.
I need to find a way to put an end to this Pearl business. To think I thought Michael would be the last of our issues.. I don’t want my lil’ mama going home to all that Tomfoolery or the reporters. The second she leaves this house she’s going to face the wolves and I can’t stand the thought of it. Anytime I think about her leaving this house I get a bad feeling in my stomach. I just wanna keep her here where I know she’s safe and protect her from all the evil life tries to bring her way. 
She shakes her head, finally coming out of her own mind and snapping me from mine. She looks up at me, her doe eyes widening when she finds me staring. Before she can say a word, I lean down to get another feel of those pillow lips. She sighs, pushing herself harder into the kiss. It’s only been mere seconds, but things already begin to heat up. She grasps onto my bicep for support, before dragging her fingers down my arm, pushing down at my hand on her waist. Don’t need to ask me twice. I slither my hand down her body, reaching behind her to squeeze at her-
“Ah! There you are! I’m so glad I found you two!” Pearl paces towards us, interrupting me from getting a real taste of honey.
Bumble groans, crossing her arms and looking bout as mad as a small child being told no for the first time. God, she’s so cute. She turns to face her…sister, I guess. 
Pearl extends her arms out to her. “Oh! Honey! It’s so nice seein-”
“You can cut the shit. He knows.” She spits out.
Damn. Didn’t know my little honey bee had such a mouth on her. Who am I kidding? Yes, I did. We’d always practice our swear words out on the mailman. Poor Marvin. Wonder if he’s doin alright.
Pearl stops, crossing her arms with a raised brow, waiting for our next moves.
“Elvis!” Mama yells, her face appearing around the corner shortly after. “There you are, booby. What’s goin on? Is everything alright? Why’s Billy in a fit? What’d you say to him?”
“Hell, Mama.” I mumble quietly, running my hand through my hair, trying to keep up with all her questions. “It’s nothin’.”
She scowls, upset I’m not telling her nothing. “Alright, f’you say so.” She disappears behind the wall for a second before popping back over again. “Can you come help me with these dishes, baby?”
“Alright.” I mutter. “I’ll be back, Bumble.” I say, giving her a kiss on her upset face before following Mama into the kitchen.
I help her clean off the dining table, Billy attempts to stay as far from me as possible. Minutes go by and it seems like these damn dishes don’t never end. I tap my foot impatiently, looking around the kitchen for Honey Bun, but have no luck finding her. Maybe she’s in the living room with Dad and Dogger. The only people left in the kitchen and dining room are Satnin, me, and…Pearl. She notices me glance past her and sees this as an invitation. I spin my head back to the dishes. Look what you done got yourself into now, Elvis. At Least she’s not near Bumble.
Then I feel a finger tap on my shoulder. I hold in a groan. “Elvis, can I talk to you?” She whispers from behind me.
I shake my head, not bothering to turn around to look at her. “Pearl, I ain’t got nothin I wanna say to you. I trusted you and you hurt someone I love. You outta be ashamed for what you did to her.”
“I am!” She desperately cries. “And I wanted to apologize for lyin to you. It wasn’t right, but I wanna go somewhere more private so I can explain my whole side to you.” Now I look over my shoulder at her. “If that’s alright anyway. I’d appreciate it. I don’t want you to hate me.” She adds with a down face.
I sigh, putting down the plate I was holding. I really don’t trust her, but, “Come on.”
I excuse myself to Mama who has a suspicious look on her face as she eyes me out the door. I bring Pearl to the backyard porch. She seats herself on one of the lawn chairs, but I stay standing with my arms crossed.
“Well?” I say, giving her the floor.
She twiddles with her thumbs in the lap. “Well, I got a little jealous, okay? Honey’s got a mama, and friends, and-and talent, and the perfect boyfriend. Everything I never had. She just seems like she has it all.” She sniffles, holding back tears.
Bumble is far from having it all, yet anyways. Pearl doesn’t even know how lucky she is with what she has.
Now it’s my turn to twiddle with my thumbs. What do I say? How do I comfort her? Do I comfort her? I gulp, before my sympathy gets the best of me. I kneel down in front of her, taking her hands. “Pearl, I’m sure she thinks the same way about you. Growing up she always talked about her daddy, how she wished she could meet him. We lived in wooden shacks, for cryin out loud. I’m sure she wishes she had what you did.”
She wipes away a fallen tear. “Really?”
I nod. “Absolutely. Now, it’s none of my business, but I think you two should talk it out. You might find you have a lot more in common than you think.”
She flashes me a sad smile. “Elvis?” She asks softly.
“Yes, Pearl?”
I barely have time to process the next few seconds. A noise happens behind me, someone grabs me, a gasp, and before I even know what’s going on, I find myself all puckered up on Pearl. My eyes widen once I come back to reality and I quickly pull away in shock.
Pearl gasps, covering herself with her hands. “Honey! I don’t know what happened! He just threw himself all over me!” She shouts frantically.
I whip my head towards the door, finding my baby standing there in shock. She stays still, looking between me and Pearl, clearly at a war with herself in what to make of what she just saw. I run up to her, taking her wrist with one hand, cupping her cheek with the other. She avoids making eye contact with me, looking everywhere but at the two of us while chewing on her lip. “Bumble, no. Hey, look at me.” I wipe my thumb across her cheek, brushing a curl from her face. She hesitantly meets my gaze, brow knitting together. “Mm mm, don’t get that look in your eyes. You know.”
Come on, Bumble. You know better. Have faith in me, in us. You know what you mean to me.
She places her small hand on top of mine, melting into my touch. “I know.” She whispers. That’s my Bumble. I press my forehead against hers. She closes her eyes, lashes tickling over my cheeks. “I know you’d never do that.”
Pearl giggles behind me, interrupting our moment. “No, but he might.” She points to the door.
Bumble spins in my arms to look behind her. I peek over her head to get a look with her.
Damnit! “Billy!” I yell, letting loose Bumble.
“You just had to get the girl, didn’t ya?” He yells back, before bolting back into the house.
Bumble drops her arms in frustration. “Pearl! What the hell’s wrong with you? Why are you doin this?”
Pearl stands up in rage, pointing a finger at her. “You took my daddy from me! That’s why!” What I think to be real tears start leaking down her face, but I don’t really know what to think of her anymore. “He barely even look at me no more. You and your mama just appear out of nowhere and take him from me and my family! He loved us. He loved me! Then out of the blue he’s announcin this whole other family he kept hidden.” She stops, a mean look appearing back on her face as she stomps over to us. “You take away my favorite man, I take yours.”
“Like hell you will!” I yell.
Bumble wraps her arms around me, I pull her even closer. “Elvis and I love each other and ain’t no other woman gonna take that from us, especially not one like you!”
Who does she think she is? I already know what games she’s playin, s’not like I’m gonna magically fall in love with the woman.
Pearl tilts her head to the side with fake sympathy. “Oh, Honey. I told you I’m takin you man from you, not that I wanted him.” And with that, she walks away.
Bumble and I stand there in silence for a while before I finally speak up. “What in the hell does that mean?”
She pulls her arms even tighter around me. “I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about her right now” She mutters against my shirt. “What are you gonna say to Billy? Do you want me to talk to him?”
Damn, I still gotta take care of Billy. “He ain’t got no where else to go but this house. I think it’s best I spend the night elsewhere, let him cool down some, then maybe we can talk to him tomorrow.”
She stands herself up straight with a sad, exhausted sigh that nearly brings tears to my eyes. My poor Bumble’s tired of everything happening INSIDE the house, she doesn’t even know what’s waiting for her on the outside. “We could stay at Handy?” She offers.
Is she crazy? “We? Darlin’, this ain’t your problem, it’s mine. I’ll deal with the consequences.” 
She throws her hands up in frustration. “Baby, it shouldn’t even be your problem. Besides, you think I’m just dyin to go home with Pearl right now?” She takes my hands. “I’m not leavin you.”
I stare down at my shoes. I suppose it would be best if I keep her in my sight longer. “Alright, let’s go before any other hell breaks loose.”
Before we leave, I tell Mama I’m leaving and quick grab a few things. I drive Bumble and I through the front gates, reporters and fans waiting for us on the other side. I put my arm around her, shielding her from the fans grabbing and shoving, trying to not let her see some of their outraged faces.
I never once let go of her, not while driving, not while fighting through crowds of fans outside Handy, not even when we made it to the privacy of our hotel room.
I sit on the edge of the bed, rolling circles into her hips bones while she stands in front of me, dress thrown somewhere on the floor. I’ll never get used to a sight like this.
“I love you, Bumble.”
“I love you too, baby.”
But her smile quickly disappears off her sweet little angel face. She climbs into the bed, staring at the ceiling while she wraps herself up in the covers. I twist in my spot to watch her. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
She snuggles the sheets closer to her face. “Elvis, I’m scared. I’ve been getting this bad feeling lately and I don’t know what it means, or what to do-”
“Hey, hey, hey.” I crawl under the covers with her, taking her head in my hands, collecting her sudden burst of tears with my thumb. “Ain’t nothin bad gonna happen, Bumble. I promise.” I kiss her on her forehead, wrapping my arms around her. She buries her head into my chest, sniffling away her troubles. “It’s you and me against the world.”
But really, I ain’t so sure myself. I been getting the same bad feeling, like somethings gonna happen, but I don’t wanna think about it. I won’t let nothin happen. As long as I have her, and as long as she has me, everything will be alright.
She falls asleep in my arms, her warm breath tickling down my chest every other second. I leave another kiss on top of her head, before getting some shut eye myself. Though it’s not long before I’m woken back up by a loud bang shooting across the room.
.
.
.
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pinkandpurple360 · 6 months
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I apologize as this is not a question, but i just wanted to say that i really appreciate your takes. Usually people when they talk about Stolitz they hate Blitzø too because he was framed as taking advantage of Stolas and having to get his head out of his ass, but i honestly still liked and felt bad for him as just now the narrative seems to be pining all this on him, which in a way is kinda how i also feel like about Moxxie regarding Happy Campers. Sorry for going on a tangion but i absolutely love this blog (also because of the headcanons and BlitzFizz stuff, i love this ship)
Aww thank you anon, that is so sweet, and no worries the inbox doesn’t have to be questions 100% of the time there’s also prompts and headcanons other stuff too
It feels like only the most privileged people who have never wanted for anything could possibly think stolas deserves revenge?
I just don’t blame Blitzo at all, the same way I don’t blame parents for shoplifting food so their babies can eat, or refugees stowing away/bypassing borders as to evade conflict. These things are crimes, sure, but there’s no malice behind trying to survive by any means necessary. What? Is the shop clerk gonna sing a song about feeling trapped in a cage and cry? Do the border police have mean dads who put them in arranged marriages? Boo fuckin hoo.
He’s not even doing it selfishly, he as a child wanted to get money for his mama…literally the biggest motivator it took to convince him to steal was to help his momma. That’s the purest thing there is. And he felt guilt towards this domineering owl who was so rude aggressive, and creepy towards him right before??
Remember how Viv said Blitzø could negotiate out of the sex any time? Uh? When stolas was leading him to his bedroom like a creep, Blitz said “look I didn’t mean to crash your uh party I was just” “Don’t bother with excuses I know why you are here” So? How did that negotiation go? What do we think would have happened if Blitzø said “I’m not here for that” yeah right.
How anybody didn’t instantly want to protect him as a small baby from all of this creepy horrible situation, I don’t know. I literally laughed while he was stealing from stolas because the little spoiled brat is so rich he probably didn’t even notice. Look I know he’s not very happy either but am I supposed to root for him and his dad trafficking a ‘lesser’ child ?
And later when he’s searching for the book we don’t know at that point whether he has Loona at home. Just like when in prison the first thing he says is how he needs to get out to see his daughter. Man I wish we saw the prison break.
Oh yeah back to the ask. As for Moxie in Happy Campers it did make me sad that all his enthusiasm and initiative didn’t work out at all and basically went up in his face :( that part I have sympathy with, yknow when you try too hard at a project? Yeah. Passing it off to someone who can do it better justice than you despite less enthusiasm is…hard. I gotta be honest I’ve never watched the full song in the middle all the way through before. It was just so cringe. The teenagers were just a very strange element. And making this Barbies debut episode compared to all of Fizz’s foreshadowing and build up into the fantastic episode that was Ozzies, I’m very disappointed.
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darth-sonny · 1 year
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do you have any lore or more information on venus from your weary and wild au?
OH BOY DO I!!!!!!
i have a lot. but i'll tell you about two specific bits that are really important to her arc
HER MUTATION
i wasn't kidding when i said that Venus was the first mutated. i think Yoshi was in Draxum's clutches for longer than what was seen in goyles, goyles, goyles, probably a day or two. in that time, Draxum took some of Yoshi's blood samples and mixed it with his mutagen, which was still in development and not perfected at all. still very unstable
Venus was the turtle baby he chose to mutate first to see what kind of kinks and bugs he needed to work out. tl;dr., she was basically the test subject for the test subjects. if her mutation went well? then great! more soldiers for Draxum's army. if it didn't go so well and something bad happened? oh well, at least Draxum will know what to work on
(this, naturally, gave her some personal issues when she grew up. Draxum unfortunately never hid that tidbit from her)
so, by the time Draxum decided to mutate the boys, Venus was already mutated and toddling around somewhere
as stated before, the mutagen used to mutate her was in beta stage and unstable, which meant Venus wasn't fully humanoid as the boys ended up being. since she's a leatherback sea turtle, she was an aquatic mutant, and thus Draxum had to keep her in a tank full of water for the first few months. after he mutated her again with his perfected ooze, she ended up having the humanoid soldier form her brothers have
as a result of being mutated twice, Venus is much more bloodthristy and sadistic than her brothers. however, unlike her brothers, she has better control of those urges and can choose whether or not she falls into them. a direct result of her upbringing. she could kick Raph, Donnie, and Mikey's asses if she wanted to, but when it comes to Four, he will beat her in a fight
to put it simply; girlie has a beast mode
HER RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HAMATOS & DRAXUM
hoo boy. this is gonna be a mess, so strap in
while, yes, Draxum is redeemed and becoming a better person, the guy did start out as a villain whose main goal was to wipe out humanity. he raised Venus as a soldier, running her ragged with training meant for five instead of one. she was well aware that there were meant to be more of her, but she's the only one Draxum has now
Venus... does not like the Hamatos. her reasons aren't because of the family in particular, but because she's projecting her (rather justified) hatred of Draxum onto them
Draxum was. just the absolute worst for Venus during those times. he's changed now, but back then, the goat-man was – for a lack of a better term – abusive. he wasn't satisfied with her and used to take out his anger at having lost four of his soldiers out on her
and then, of course, came the day when he sold her to Big Mama. or, as the spider puts it, "gifted" Venus to her
whatever sort of hope that Venus had that maybe Draxum could one day turn around and start treating her better got destroyed on that day
she hates Draxum. plain and simple
however, she can't hate Four. he's her little brother, her baby brother. she doesn't like the others, but she 1000% likes Four
when she found out that Draxum suddenly became a good guy because of he had nothing else going on and because of the Hamatos, she... well. she immediately began hating that family, too. doesn't matter that they're her family by blood. she hates them
(her ninpō, as a result, is basically buried under D E E P rubble. not that she knows about it anyhow)
she'll call the other three her brothers (because that's what they are), but she doesn't consider them to be her brothers. they're as brothers to her the same way a stranger on fifth avenue is her friend. Four is the only one she actually considers family
it's the same to Splinter. she knows he's her biological father, the donor that made her mutation possible, but she doesn't really think of him as a father. a fatherly man, yes, but as her actual father? no, not really
and she'd rather die than call Draxum her father
all in all, my girl has a lot of personal issues to work out, and i am excited to get to them
(she does consider Big Mama to be her mother, but the girl's way too emotionally constipated to let that title spring out)
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Membrane NSFW Alphabet Headcanons
SURPRISE IM ALIVE
Apologies for not putting anything out for a few months I've had serious writers block and I'm only just now getting out of it :")
Anyways on with the show
A = Aftercare
- Membrane is very cuddly
- Constantly doting and checking on you
- He wants to make sure he didn't accidentally hurt you
- So he'll shower you with love and affection to make sure
B = Body Count
- He got sucked off behind the back of Spencer's Gifts when he was tagging along with some friends buying questionable things
- That was it
- He honestly was indifferent to sex since then until you came along
C = Cum
- Loves to cum on your chest
- Or inside
- Whichever is easier or preferable for you at the time
- While he doesn't love to cum on your face, he will do it if requested
- One of those things where he's just overly worried
- Regardless he'll do whatever you want when it comes to... well... cum
D = Dirty Secret
- PANTY RAID!!!!!!!!!
- THIS FUCKING DEGENERATE
- PANTY SNIFFER
- Enough said.
E = Experience
- He has done extensive research
- But that doesn't mean he knows jack
- He's so stupid.
- He's so smart but he's so stupid
F = Favorite Position
- Cowgirl
- It's not missionary and he can see your face
- So he feels accomplished
G = Goofy
- If something funny happens? Yes. Man will poke fun.
- But usually it takes a lot to make him laugh in that setting
- He's a man of science not a man of jokes.
- So expect the jokes he makes to be science themed, bad, or just both.
H = Hair
- Hair. Hoo boy.
- While part of me wants to believe he'd shave his pubes into a bolt to match his hair, I will firmly believe that the bolt is on his happy trail.
- The actual dick area tho? Bushy as all hell.
- He keeps it clean though.
I = Intimacy
- In an odd sense, he's romantic.
- Like in his own way
- He's a man of science, not romance.
- But he has his quirks to show you what he's feeling
- ... sensual...
J = Jack Off
- Quiet until the end
- Like he'll be whimpering at most up til he's about to cum
- But then
- Hoo mama
- He's very vocal
- And LOUD about it too
- He typically does it when you're not there
- But sometimes you catch him in the act
- He particularly likes having you tease him as he continues (if you let him)
K = Kink 
- Here we go.
- Most of this will be projection so my sincerest apologies
- Okay so
- Anal (giving and receiving)
- BDSM (giving & receiving)
- Begging (receiving more than giving but both are possible)
- Boob sucking (giving)
- Choking (mainly giving)
- Discipline (receiving more than giving)
- Dirty talk (receiving)
- Edging (giving)
- Face sitting (receiving)
- Orgasm denial (giving)
- Pregnant sex (giving (no mpreg in this fic if I can help it))
- Spanking (giving and receiving)
- Voyeurism & Exhibitionism (since giving and receiving are different for this)
- Okay thank god we're done
L = Location
- Would I get in trouble if I said his lab at home?
- I feel like I would...
- So...
- Yea that's what I'm saying
- (Totally not saying that for the *sweeps everything off table to fuck* trope whaaaaa)
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
- Remember the whole location one from like two seconds ago?
- What? It's true.
- But back to other answers
- Anything regarding you playing with his hair
- Any hair
- Also your mouth sucking on something
- Popsicle? Horny
- Sucker? Horny
- Seeing you covered in cum and/or having afterglow also gets him going for another round
N = NO
- Generally he's not gonna do anything he isn't already invested in
- If you want him to try something new? It's going to be very difficult to get him on board
O = Oral 
- Loves I mean LOVES to give oral
- Fucker is down bad
- Like damn
- He's also not necessarily opposed to receiving oral ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- He just much prefers to give
P = Piercing
- No.
- (Pussy)
- He's too scared for a dick piercing
- He's a bit too sensitive there for it to be worth it
Q = Quickie
- Every now and then he doesn't mind,
- But he tries not to make it a habit
- He is not usually the one to initiate it, but does have the ability to
- It's more dependent on you on this one
R = Risk
- Go back to N for part 1 of this answer
- Part 2 is that he does take risks in the sense of pushing things to extremes
- Choking could go all the way up to needing to signal that you NEED air
- But yea, he won't try new things that easily but once he's in it? He's IN it
S = Stamina
- He can go a few intense rounds and match with you usually
- Or like,, 5+ rounds if you've caught him in one of those periods where he has seemingly infinite stamina
- He does have a limit in those situations and that limit is in the double digits
- I will not specify what the number is tho
T = Toy
- Okay genuinely do his arms count as toys??????????
- Because like??????
- If so then he absolutely uses them on both you and him.
- Finger go brr
- In all seriousness tho he much prefers having somebody rather than a toy
- If you prefer toys tho he'll obviously let you get some and have you pick them out so you like them
- Unless you want him to pick-
U = Unfair
- Honestly depends on if he wants to tease or not
- If he wants to? This fucker
- If not? Then he won't.
- Simple as that
V = Volume
- Once again, whimpers at most in the beginning, but will get louder towards the end
- Mainly groans and panting tho
W = Wild Card
- Is 100% ashamed of some of his kinks
- It took a while for you to know everything
- Because he's embarrassed
- F
X = X-Ray
- His dick isn't like,,,,, gigantic
- But it's a good size
- Maybe like 6"? (~15cm???)
- It's enough to feel good lmao
- Uncircumcised because it can be
Y = Yearning
- Honestly? He ain't horny that often.
- Like at least once a month maybe
- Once again, he was kinda indifferent to sex before you
Z = ZZZ
- It doesn't matter how long you take to fall asleep you're sleeping first.
- Mans can stay awake
- Typically tho, when you wake up you can hear him snoring with an arm wrapped around you
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morallyinept · 4 months
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This or That: Ezra Edition
Ezra tied to a chair at your mercy, or
You tied to a chair at his mercy?
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What say you, little bird? 💚
Oh, for fucks sake, Maggie... why you gotta do me like this?! I thought we were friends... 🫣
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Aww man. This is a tough one. Like, you don't understand the things I would do to my sweaty, skanky husband if I got him tied up in a chair. Hoo, mama. Serves him right for disappearing off to the moon for a rotation... He'd love it and beg for more.
☝🏻But... to be at his mercy?? To have this gorgeous prospector right here tie me up and do whatever the heck he likes to me??
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Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! 🫠🖤
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minuy600 · 3 months
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LEGO On A Budget 2024 #6: 60400 Go-Karts and Race Drivers & 71428 Yoshi's Egg-cellent Forest
You'd be surprised to know- It seems as if we will end this series on exactly 10 blog posts. We've got 6 normal sets left to cover after this, then 4 more that I can only nab online. I didn't think it would go by this fast! Of course, i'll make new posts covering whatever comes out after March as well, though those will most likely be sporadic for a while, with LEGO's tactic of releasing most of their stuff in January and July and whatnot.
LEGO City - 60400 Go-Karts and Race Drivers
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God, this one. You wouldn't think 2 dinky karts would have 99 pieces total, but I suppose it does. It didn't particularly feel that way though. As you possibly could've guessed, both of these builds are close to identical. Why they felt the need to make two seperate manuals for both karts, I have no clue. They are VERY thin.
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Thankfully though, I actually do like the designs. I think the colors are more unique than a lot of what City has put out, especially the neon colored one. My personal bias also takes some joy in the small racing car builds in general, I think i've mentioned here before that I was a big Lego Racers kid in the 2000s. Been a bit since i've seen these small wheels that throw me back big time. Still, i'm not sure if this should've been a full set, this could've rather easily been two seperate polybags in my opinion.
LEGO Super Mario - 71428 Yoshi's Egg-cellent Forest
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And here we go. Wahoo. Yippee, mamma mia, let's a go. It's LEGO Sup Mama. The franchise I have the most embarrassing feelings for, after all, it's Super Mario Advance 2 that introduced me to non-PC gaming after all. I was never TOO interested in grabbing these sets untill now, but this set may have convinced me to change my mind.
Now there's some odd choices made with the way this one's been packaged. This is the *smallest* box i've yet seen so far, or at least it's among the smallest. And that whiie it's the first box with over 100 pieces contained inside AND has a pretty thick instruction book with 3 sacks included. Weird, makes it seem less significant while it's decently substantial. At least when compared to the frickin' Goomba's Shoe set.
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For what it IS though, hoo, this is a nice set. Building these Yoshis was verrry satisfying, they look great and have a good amount of heft. I am not sure if I like the fact I had to effectively do the same thing twice though (sound familiar?). The tree canopy and the egg top it all off to make it remarkably faithful to the funny hoohoo man's franchise, and pleasant to the eye and hands.
...If it wouldn't fall apart so damn easily. I had so much trouble lifting this one into my cabinet cuz the green piece that attaches the platforms together would keep getting loose, and more frustatingly, the Yoshi duo also wouldn't be too stable on their little stand pieces. That does put a bit of a damper on things, though I wouldn't call it a dealbreaker, moreso something you need to be mindful off when holding it in it's entirety.
Current rankings:
Go-Karts and Race Drivers is ultimately decent. It's not something I am dying to do again, I better hope there ain't another car set coming up, though it's got some merit in subtle ways, particularly those aforementioned unique colors. For that, it tops the 'lower tier', aka anything below the Fire Rescue Motorcycle.
Yoshi's Egg-cellent Forest (haaaaaaaaa) is certainly the most visually pleasing set, and hey, it's from a franchise I really hold close. I don't think it deserves top marks because of it's fragility and has you build the same thing twice. Gets pretty close though. This is gonna be the new number 4, beating out Mateo's Off-Road Car.
City - 60411 Fire Rescue Helicopter
Marvel - 76275 Motorcycle Chase: Spider-Man vs. Doc Ock
Ninjago - 71805 Jay's Mech Battle Pack
Super Mario - 71428 Yoshi's Egg-cellent Forest
DREAMZzz - 71471 Mateo's Off-Road Car
Friends - 42607 Autumn's Baby Cow Shed
City - 60401 Construction Steamroller
City 4+ - 60410 Fire Rescue Motorcycle
City - 60400 Go-Karts and Race Drivers
Friends - 42612 Cat Playground Adventure
Minecraft - 21251 Steve's Desert Expedition
City 4+ - 60399 Race Car
Time to climb back into Kruidvat's walls and get grabby with this new sale they're having. See ya next time!
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synamartia · 25 days
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❖ Call me Syn, Syna, or Raina, or whatever comes to mind when you think of me~ ( be nice, there ain't none of that negativity here ! ) I'll also respond to Smut Santa / Saint Dickolaus! 😉
❖ I'm 29, about to be 30. I'm afab and use female pronouns. Happy mama of 2 beautiful babes~ They come first before anything else, so if I don't get back to you in a timely manner or like... at all... that's why. Or maybe I just don't like you. ( nahhh that's not it ... ? )
❖ Previously went by Taqsyq, but after YEARS of being out of the writing game and just off of tumblr in general, I've decided to start over fresh. I started Taqsyq when I was like sixteen or seventeen, still in my nerdy emo girl phase fuck I still am, and there is a shit ton of things that I just wanna run away from when it comes to that blog/username, including some very bad memories that I'm not going to discuss publicly. Plus, again: seventeen, nerdy emo girl phase. Everything I wrote on that blog was the highest form of OOC cringe like you just saw a stripper accidentally slam her hoo-ha on a pole bullshit for me. The only reason I'm not deleting it is because I'm a memory hoarder and despite all the bad, I want to keep it for all the good that happened there as well. Besides, it's the account that I ran imagine-reborn (an imagines blog for Katekyo Hitman Reborn) under and I figured, if nothing else, I could get a few laughs and maybe even learn a thing or two from how god-awful teenage me was at writing.
❖ My rules are simple. Be kind to all: this is a safe zone for EVERYONE. I would like to keep it that way. I don't have a list for what I will and will not write (yet), so all I can tell you is: ask. My inbox is always open. If I don't feel comfortable writing something, I'll let you know!
❖ Minors: as of right now, I don't think I'll be posting anything that is safe for your consumption, so I would very much appreciate it if you did not interact. If you are not a minor and do not have an age indicator, this rule applies to you as well. I check my follower list daily and I WILL block anyone that does not adhere to this rule.
❖ Requests: Closed ( not for long. I promise ;D )
❖ Currently, I only write for Hazbin Hotel. But I'm open for discussion on anything else on my list down below! I'm always looking for something new to watch/read, so if you have any recommendations, fire away!
❖ Series ; Current Hyperfixation: Hazbin Hotel
Anime : Naruto ; InuYasha ; Death Note ; Bleach ; Hellsing ; Soul Eater ; Fruits Basket ; D.Gray-Man [ Original / Hallow ] ; Kuroshitsuji ; Katekyo Hitman Reborn ; Ao No Exorcist ; Yu Yu Hakusho ; Full Metal Alchemist ; One Piece* ; Shingeki No Kyojin ; Kimetsu No Yaiba ; Jujutsu Kaisen**
* Still trying to catch up. This is a massive anime, and I've spent the better half of this past year trying to watch it all. I've made it to the Raid on Onigashima, the part where Yamato got his bracelets removed. Love him, by the way! <3
** Nanaminnnn~! I am not okay about anything with this man. <3
Manga / Manhwa : Everything mentioned above ; Noblesse ; Bloody Cross ; Area D
TV : Hazbin Hotel ; Game Of Thrones ; Vikings ; Avatar: The Last Airbender ; The Legend Of Korra ; Supernatural
Books : A Song Of Ice & Fire ; Twilight Saga why did teenage me think it was the greatest series ever shoot me now fucking christ
Video Games : Final Fantasy Series + Individual Prequels, Sequels, Movies, Remakes* [ 7 / 9 / 10 / 13 / 15** ] ; Tales Of Series [ Legendia / Zestiria / Berseria / Arise ] ; Devil May Cry Series ; Kingdom Hearts Series*** ; Star Ocean Series [ Till The End Of Time / The Divine Force ] ; The Legend Of Zelda [ A Link To The Past ] ; Sonic Series ; Spyro Series ; Shining Force Series [ 1 / 2 ] ; Lufia Series [ Fortress Of Doom / Rise Of The Sinistrals ] ; Diablo 3 ; Lunar [ Silver Star Story Complete ] ; Infinite Undiscovery ; to be updated as I remember / play.
* So far, I've only played the first installment of Final Fantasy 7 Remake because I currently do not own a PS5, but I'm working on it. The Compilation of Final Fantasy 7 is my absolute favorite series of all time. I could watch Advent Children ( original and complete ) on repeat, and I've played the original release so many times that I don't even need a guide to get a 100% on a brand new save ( Obsessed much? Yup ). I'm a completionist at heart, and this game is amazing and it provides a massive sense of nostalgia for me.
** SLIGHT SPOILER (maybe? You've been warned) Another amazing installment in the Final Fantasy series, this game is so well written in my opinion. It stays away from the bigger cliches you see in most RPGs ( eg : the guy gets the girl, friendship is the key to saving the world, etc. ), the characters are so individually complex, the villain technically wins and reminds you how easy it would be for you to become the same type of monster. Plus badass women that fix your car, lights up entire cities, wakes up the fucking Gods to fight on your side, takes the entire mercenary army they led and defects to your side? IN HEELS? YES PLEASE. It has one of the best enemy turned ally characters in the FF series; I'm just disappointed we didn't get to see much of Aranea after everything in Tenebrae. Also Ardyn has some serious daddy vibes, and I would literally give my left tit just to lick Aranea's boot ( oh, the things I would do to these two, phew~ ).
*** Let's be real here. The Kingdom Hearts Series makes zero sense if you didn't play all of them and you didn't pay attention to each and every detail, and I did neither. I played 2 and 3 when they originally came out, but in my defense: it doesn't look like a series that follows a singular story, something that I did not know at the time, and usually the series I play have an entirely different story per installment ( eg : Final Fantasy and Tales Of ). I tried to piece together the story from online synopses and second hand game play ( I watched someone else play ), and it just didn't work out. So, suffice to say, my knowledge of Kingdom Hearts goes about as far as basic facts regarding Organization XIII because they were my whole reason for trying the games in the first place. I'm still open to discussion about it, though! Just keep in mind my side will be very limited. Sorry!
To Be Read / Watched / Played : Helluva Boss ; Phantasy Star Series ; Final Fantasy Series [ 1-6 / 8 / 11-12 / 14 / 16 ] ; Diablo 4 ; Black Clover ; Hell's Paradise ; Fairy Tale ; The Seven Deadly Sins ; My Hero Academia
❖ Look out below for a face reveal!
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