#Golf Advice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghostofwriting · 18 days

Text

Kildare Split Part Three: Bleach

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Chapter 3: Bleach

Note: Hi! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. Here is Chapter Three, it covers the smau basically up until Rafe blocks Topper. Still no answers on that 💋

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio.

Word Count: 5,343

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter Three: Bleach

That didn’t go how he planned it. He hurt her inconceivable amounts and it’s not going to be easy to get her to forgive him. He needs to work for it, he knows that. Hearing her say that she meant nothing to him when she meant the world to him hurts more than he could have ever imagined. He’s so mad at himself for ever saying those same things to her. He doesn’t deserve her. He knows that too. He’s always been selfish when it comes to her though, he needs her back. He needs to figure out how to talk to her first.

“Let me get this straight, you told her to listen to your album for what?”

“To understand what I’m feeling.”

“Rafe, the girl doesn’t need to understand what you’re feeling, she needs you to apologize to her.” His dad’s voice comes through the speaker. He was getting ready for bed when Ward called.

“The album is like an apology.” He tells his dad like it’s obvious.

“Unless you have a song in that thing that says ‘Y/N I’m sorry,’ for 3 minutes straight, she’s not going to hear it as an apology. She’s going to take it as an excuse.”

“I’m just so ashamed, I don’t know how to approach it.” he stares at the phone screen, a picture of his dad and Wheezie stares back at him.

“I miss you, dad.”

“I miss you too, son. You’ll be home soon and we’ll go golfing, how about that?” Rafe smiles softly.

His relationship with his dad hasn't always been this good. When he chose music over a ‘real’ career, his dad almost disowned him. Y/N had been the one to talk Ward out of it. Giving him a plan that if they didn’t make it in two years, she would drag him back by his ear and make him take over the company. They had to work their asses off but it happened, and Ward had accepted it. It had been a long road, they spent a lot of time not speaking to each other, communicating through Sarah. Ward hadn’t been to a single show before their first album was released. He remembers seeing Ward walk in next to Sarah and feeling his five-year-old self again, prepared to put on the best show for his dad to finally be proud of him. And he was, at the end of the night he hugged Rafe and told him everything he had ever wanted to hear from him. That he was proud of everything he had accomplished, that he was meant to perform, and that he loved him.

And he owed it all to her. It always goes back to her.

“That sounds great, Dad.”

“Have you talked to Sofia about this, you know girls, she might have some insight you don’t.”

“I don’t think Sofia’s up to giving me advice about Y/N.

“Rafe, this is only to get her back as your friend, correct? You and Sof are good?” Ward asks, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah, of course. Sof and I are great.” Denial. Always in denial, Rafe Cameron.

“Okay well, I wish you luck with all of that. Get some rest. I’ll be out in a couple of weeks.”

“Bye Dad, love you,” Ward tells him he loves him too and hangs up.

+++

Kiara of all people tells her to listen to his album. As if everyone else who’s telling her isn’t enough.

“Hold on, I thought I got you in the divorce?” Kie laughs at her joke.

“You did, but I think you should listen to what he has to say.”

“Kie, he hasn’t even apologized in person, why should I?” She’s playing with the thread that’s hanging off of the comforter.

“Because he’s always been better at explaining himself in song.” She says matter of factly.

“This is unbelievable.” Kie groans on the other side of the phone.

“Look, he’s a piece of shit and he was horrible to you. I know that, but god can he write.”

“I know he can. I work with him.”

“Y/N.”

“Kie.” She mocks

“Just listen.” She’s shaking her head and rolling her eyes, glad that Kie can’t see her.

“Okay, whatever, I don't want to talk about this anymore. What happened between you and jayj?”

“Ha! Nope.” She whines, wanting to know the drama between her two friends.

Sarah walks in with Penny in her arms. They had gone for a walk, Y/N citing vocal rest to skip going out in the rain.

“Vocal rest but you’re talking on the phone?” Sarah calls her out.

“My baby!” Sarah drops the small dog on the hotel bed, Penny running into Y/N’s arms.

“Thanks, Sarah.” She pouts at her.

“So what are we talking about?”

“Trying to get Y/N to listen to ‘Angel.’” Kie’s voice cuts through the speaker.

“Absolutely no use. She won’t.” Sarah says. She nods along agreeing with Sarah.

It’s not that she can’t listen to the album. She doesn’t want to. Why should she care about whatever he said in the album when he can’t tell her directly? The last time they talked he didn’t say sorry, albeit she didn’t let him say sorry with her whole speech she had been internalizing for three years. Even still, if he had just opened with ‘sorry’ she might have been more inclined to listen to his stupid album. She already knew it was about her, what more could she possibly learn?

So why can’t she get the thought of listening to it out of her head? She’s alone now, her dog next to her, sleeping tucked between her pillow and her neck. Sarah went back to her room a few hours ago and Y/N’s been trying to go to sleep to no avail.

So she plays the stupid album that she told Rafe to shove up his ass.

By the end of the album, she’s angry again. It’s great. Of course, it is. It’s him and he’s amazingly talented. Everything he touches turns to gold and she despises him for it. The chord progressions the tempos, the synths. Everything is amazing. Even the stupid lyrics that she wishes she could hate. How dare he be so talented and make her hate him just a fraction less?

The lyrics bother her. ‘I bought a house to live in but you’re the home I’m missin'?’ His fault. ‘I watched the weeks fly by, I’m not myself when you’re not there.’ His fault. Again. ‘I’m not a sentimental guy, I need you in my life.’ Well Rafe Cameron, why do you think she’s not in your life? It’s like he’s trying to hide the fact that he completely obliterated her heart and is pretending that she just walked out on him.

Fuck you, Rafe. You don’t get to pretend.

+++

She hears Topper in the lobby of the hotel. He’s most likely the first one down here, waiting for the rest of them to wake up so they can take the car to the arena.

She stands off to the side, their manager Ash, handing out their backstage badges. She sees Topper take two from Ash out of the corner of her eye.

He extends the badge out to her for her to take and offers her a smile.

“Thanks.” She tells him.

“I know this is probably a long time coming and not the best place to have this conversation but I’m sorry.” She looks at him eyes wide, she tries to hide her shock, a small frown still visible on her face.

“Thanks.” She says again, not knowing how to respond to him.

“I know I’ve been a shitty friend. I didn’t know how to act when everything went down. I knew about Sofia and I felt like I betrayed you. You were so hurt and I didn’t deserve your friendship. I let you isolate yourself and I’m sorry. I should have done better.”

She feels her eyes welling up. She won’t let herself cry. Not where anyone could see them.

“Yeah, you have been shitty.”

“Is it too late for you to forgive me?” She shakes her head, launching herself into his arms. Strangely it feels like coming home. She is finally hugging her best friend again. The guy who used to want to fight anyone who even looked at her wrong.

“I missed you.” she breathes into his shoulder.

“I missed you too, I’m sorry.” She lets go of him sniffling. She sees unshed tears in his eyes too.

“It’s going to take some time for me to trust you, but I’ll work on it.”

“I will get on my knees, beg, and cry if you need me to.” She laughs

“I’ll let you know.”

As soon as the other two arrive, their badges are given to them and they all walk towards the car. She usually opts for sitting in the front ever since everything happened between them. She thinks that this time she can sit next to Topper.

“Hey, Ash?” She calls for her manager's attention, “Mind if you sit in the front this time?” Ash looks at her surprised but nods her head anyway.

“Of course, go.” She motions for Y/N to step into the car, Rafe and Barry look at her questioningly from the very back. She smiles at Topper and sits directly next to him, he offers her one of his airpods and she takes it. He’s listening to something she’s never heard and she doesn’t mind at all. For the first time in a long time, she doesn’t feel like the loneliest person in the car.

Rafe burns holes into the backs of both their heads. What the fuck is going on?

+++

“So are you going down there for your anniversary?” He hears Sarah ask. She and Y/N are getting their lunch.

“Ya, it works out perfectly with the tour ending just in time,” Y/N responds,

“So are you expecting a ring?” His ears perk up at the question, willing everyone around him to shut up so he can hear her answer clearly.

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” Y/N has a teasing tone to her voice and he feels like throwing up. He gets up from the table where he’s eating with Barry and Topper. His fork clanged against the plate as he stood up and stormed off. He can’t eat with the bile already rising in his throat. What’s wrong with him?

+++

He notices as Topper and Y/N fool around during their private soundcheck. They’re playing off each other, Y/N messing with his guitar as he sings into her microphone. He notices that it’s a little awkward but it’s better than it has been in years. He gives Barry another questioning look and Barry just shrugs. He makes a note to ask Topper what happened.

“I can’t hear myself in my left ear, I just hear Barry’s excessive screeching,” Y/N speaks into her microphone at one of the sound techs.

“Oh, I’m sorry we can’t all be professionally trained singers, princess.” Y/N scoffs.

“You’re in a band Barry, maybe learn how to sing.”

“Why are you being such a bitch right now?”

“Hey!” Topper yells turning towards Barry, “cut that shit out.” Barry makes a face at Topper but drops it.

“What the fuck is going on with you two?” Rafe asks, done with waiting to ask Topper after soundcheck.

“Just have her back, man.”

“Since when?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Since he apologized, maybe you should learn how to do that.” She purses her lips and instead of being annoyed, he can’t stop thinking about how cute she looks.

“I tried to apologize and all you did was yell at me for 10 minutes.”

“You didn’t try to apologize, Rafe! You tried to get me to listen to your album.”

“If you would have just heard me out.”

“What? I would know that you’re so apathetic it’s pathetic but you need me now? Or how about that you’re down on your hands and knees Beggin' me please, baby.”

“You listened.” He feels a sense of relief overtake him which is quickly washed away by her tone.

“Under duress.”

“What did you think?”

“I think it’s bold to sing songs about me when your girlfriend is ready to marry you.” He wants to deny that any of the songs are about her. It doesn’t work like that. Everyone knows. Instead of denying it or calling her conceited for thinking it’s about her, another question rises up and out of his mouth before he can stop it.

“Are you?”

“What?” She asks, confused. He wants to keep his mouth shut. Why does he need to know anything, why does he want to hurt his feelings so badly?

“Ready to marry him?” Oh, he’s so stupid.

“Yeah.” There is no hesitation in her answer and his heart breaks a little.

“Great.” He says shortly.

“Great.” She turns away from him and back to her microphone, talking to the tech until he gets the volume in her left ear right. He storms off the stage shoving his guitar into Topper’s chest, narrowly missing Topper’s guitar.

+++

“What’s your problem?” They’re waiting to be called to the stage for their second soundcheck with the fans.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You have been insufferable all day, more than usual. I can usually ignore you, I’ve been doing it for a really long time but you’re all pouting and grumbling. What’s wrong with you?”

“How could you forgive Topper and not me?”

“I haven’t forgiven Topper, but he apologized for everything, it’s more than you have ever done.”

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out.

“Rafe. Stop.” She goes to walk away but he grabs her arm, stopping her.

“What? You beg me to apologize and now you don’t want to hear it?”

“I didn’t want to beg you for it, I wanted you to apologize because it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know that I haven’t been a good friend to you. I’ve been so absent from our friendship. I let people get in the way of us and I self-sabotaged and pushed you away.”

“Rafe please.”

“I think that I pushed you away because I couldn’t be with you but I couldn’t be your friend.”

She holds her breath, waiting for what he says next.

“I couldn’t be just your friend because I was in love with you.”

“And I’m stupid okay? I’m the biggest idiot in the entire world for saying the things that I said to you.” He pauses to gauge her reaction. She’s looking directly at him, her gaze not faltering.

“You were never just someone I fucked. You weren’t some girl or someone who didn’t mean anything to me. You are the girl, you mean everything to me. You always have. And I am sorry. I am so sorry that I ever said those things.”

“Why did you?”

“I was terrified. It’s an excuse I know. The way I treated you should have never happened but- I just- I was so scared to ruin our careers and take away what we had been working for since we were practically babies. The work that you put into the band and I was just being so careless with it, I could have ruined everything. I didn’t know how to deal with that and being in love with you and high all the time. I couldn’t do it.”

“You got clean right after.”

“I knew that sabotaging us was the first step to me ruining everything else and I needed to make the sacrifice worth it so I got clean.”

“I’m a sacrifice. You sacrificed our friendship to keep the band but if you had just talked to me we could have decided together. We could have made something work.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” They hear the five-minute to curtain call announcement and Y/N sighs.

“Do you think you could ever forgive me?” He asks her, hopeful.

“I don’t know. You hurt me more than anyone ever has.” She shrugs.

“fuck, b- Y/N I’m so sorry. You have to believe me.” She nods.

“I think I do. I need time. I need to get used to the idea of letting you back into my life before I do.”

“Okay, yeah. What can I do?” He feels hopeful for the first time since he started trying to get her to talk to him.

“Just give me space for now. I’ll let you know.” She walks past him towards Topper. That’s a good start, he thinks.

+++

“Baby!” She yells as she gets off stage, running into Julio’s arms. His flight had been delayed so she didn’t get to see him before the show.

His arms wrap around her waist as he lifts her off the ground, spinning her around.

“When did you get here?” She asks him, kissing his lips before he answers.

“Just as you started the second song.” He pulls away to answer but buries his head in her neck, kissing her.

“Thank you for coming. I missed you so much.” She tells him, still not letting go.

“Always.” He pecks her lips again as the rest of the band comes up behind her.

“Hey, guys.” Julio greets them the best he can with a Y/N-sized necklace still hanging off him.

“Hey, man!” Topper taps him on the shoulder as he passes by him. Barry mumbles a ‘hey’ and Rafe just nods, his jaw tight.

+++

Julio had only been here for one night and already he knew everything that Rafe had told Y/N, Which is how he found himself sitting alone with the man in the green room.

“Y/N told me what you told her last night.” He really doesn’t want to have to explain to Y/N why her boyfriend is on the floor bleeding but if he throws the first punch, Rafe is only defending himself.

“Yeah?” He looks up from his phone and at Julio.

“Look, you hurt her. A lot. To the point where she thought she had no one because of you. She cried herself to sleep every day because of how alone she felt.” Rafe’s stomach churns at his words.

“I’m going to make it up to her.” He puts his phone down next to him.

“And you better mean it. Don’t lead her on. Be honest with her. Do not hurt her again.”

“I won’t.” He assures him.

“Good.” He thinks the conversation is over but Julio speaks up again.

“Rafe, I know how you feel about her. You need to back off. I love her. And she loves me. I will be here until she no longer wants me. Please don’t get in the way of that.”

“I’m engaged.”

“That doesn’t change the way you look at her. Your heart isn’t in it. Respect my relationship and I will respect you.”

“You don’t have anything to worry about. I just want my friend back.” It’s not like she would take him back anyway. Even if he wanted to.

“Okay.” Cleo and Pope walk in to save him from the awkward silence.

“I’m going to head out.” He picks up his phone and stands up from where he was sitting on the couch.

“Nice talking to you,” Julio calls.

“Yeah, you too.” He all but runs out of the room on a mission to find Sarah.

+++

Sarah Cameron is not one to spread rumours. She’s very much the type to wait for confirmation. She blames the circumstances and constant stress she’s under juggling her brother’s stupid feelings with Y/N’s and vice versa.

There has been way too much talk about marriage, Sofia finally arrived and all she can talk about is wedding dresses and the caterer and the first dance and Sarah is exhausted. And of course, Rafe is panicking about things he really shouldn’t be worried about like ‘Oh is Y/N getting married? Sarah, she said that she was ready.’ and Y/N herself teased that she wanted the ring and she wouldn’t say no if Julio proposed. So what is Sarah supposed to think when she hears Y/N squeal from her dressing room as she screams “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you.” Sarah is tired.

She should have known there wasn’t an actual proposal when it happened in the dressing room of all places. She knows Julio, he’s a romantic guy, thinking back on it, there’s no way he would have proposed like that. Again, Sarah’s tired and she’s not thinking and she needs to tell someone and the first person she sees. Barry. Bad idea.

“Julio just proposed to Y/N and she said yes.” The information spills out of her mouth, it takes Barry a moment to process what she said but once he gets it he’s laughing.

“Shit. That’s going to kill him.” Fuck. Rafe. She hadn’t even thought of her brother’s reaction. She wants to be the one to tell him but he’s out with his trainer. She has to make sure no one tells him before she does.

“Topper!” She runs down the hall towards him.

“What’s up, why are you like sweating?” She waves him off.

“When does Rafe get back?”

“An hour still.”

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Y/N just got engaged and I need to be the one to break the news to him.”

“Holy shit. Good for her. Where is she?” Sarah shakes her head at him.

“That’s not the point, I need you to find out where Rafe is training so I can find him.”

“He’s probably running laps outside or at a nearby park.”

“Do you have his location?”

“No, security list.”

“Oh my god! I hate that you’re all famous sometimes.” She says through gritted teeth.

“I need to find John B. Make sure Rafe doesn’t find out!” She says running off down the hall again.

“Find out what?” Sofia’s voice comes from behind him.

“Jesus, Sofia, be louder next time.”

“Sorry. What’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing. Y/N just got engaged and Sarah doesn’t want anyone to know yet.’

“Fun! Congratulations to them, that’s so exciting!” He sees her pull out her phone and walk in the direction of the busses.

“See you, Top!”

“On the bus?” He asks her.

“Yeah.” She gives him a toothy grin.

Shit. Topper thinks. She’s going to tell Rafe.

+++

Kyle had just made him run way too much. Keeping up his stamina was important to perform every night. This time though Kyle really wanted to kill him.

“You hate me, man.” He says opening up his phone. Kyle laughs.

“You did great.” He tells him as they start their walk back to the arena.

He has a few notifications from Instagram from friends back home sending him reels and Wheezie tagging him in stories. He swipes out of Instagram and goes on to his Twitter quickly checking to see if the lineup for the show had started already, trying to see which way they took back to the arena without being seen.

Something catches his eye as he scrolls past it, he scrolls back up trying to find the pink icon.

‘@KSUpdates: 💍💍💍’ He reads through the other tweets wondering what that’s all about, were they promoting something he forgot about? He keeps scrolling until he sees someone say that Y/N’s engaged. He stops where he is, Kyle looking at him questioningly.

“You okay?” His head is spinning, his heart is racing faster than when he was working out, and he feels like throwing up. No, he’s not okay.

“I need to go.” He starts booking it to the arena, Kyle trailing behind him.

He has three unanswered texts from Sarah, a call from Topper, and one from Kelce by the time he makes it back to the arena. He says bye to Kyle and rushes to the bathroom. He’s going to throw up, he feels lightheaded.

He didn’t realize how not okay he was with losing her forever right until this moment. He couldn’t face it for the longest time. He loves Sofia. He does. She has been important to him, his growth, and his life, she’s been an amazing partner. But that’s all she’s been. A friend. Because he couldn’t give her his heart. Not when Y/N was out there already walking around with it. She had never given it back. She owned it, owned him. He knew that now. With every fibre in his being, he knew that he was still in love with her. And she was marrying someone else. He was losing her.

His breathing feels laboured. He feels the room continue spinning, he slides down the bathroom wall trying to keep the panic attack at bay. How could he be so stupid? How could it take him so long to realize that he couldn’t live without her no matter how hard he tried? It would always be her.

He hears his phone ringing again but ignores it. He needs to get his breathing under control before he can talk to anyone. They can’t know he’s losing it.

He needs to do something. He needs to get his shit under control and talk to Y/N. He hasn’t had a panic attack in so long. He’s not used to dealing with it. He needs to find Barry first.

+++

She’s in one of her moods again, every time Julio leaves she gets sad and it takes her a day or two to get back into the swing of things. It’s been a week since she had asked Rafe for space. She thinks that she’ll be able to work towards forgiving him or at least putting the past behind her. After talking to Cleo, Sarah, and Julio, they had all given her the same advice. Do what she believes is the best next step for her.

She notices Sarah hovering over Rafe like a mother hen, checking in on him, asking him if he’s okay every two seconds. She doesn’t know what happened but Topper had told her he went missing for the entire day until their show. And she’s pretty sure he showed up high. She’s scared for him. He’s been clean for so long that getting into drugs again now could shock his system. He’s not her responsibility anymore but she cares if he lives or dies.

That same day that Rafe went missing, everyone was congratulating her for being engaged. The updates account had hinted at her being engaged too, she doesn’t know where they got that information, she not only had to tweet, she had to tell the entire team that no, she was not engaged.

It had been a stupid misunderstanding that Sarah had apologized for a significant amount. Cleo had asked Julio how he would propose so Julio had set the scene for her and gotten down on one knee and Y/N had played along. Stupid and dumb.

She’s reading a contract for a new magazine shoot she’s doing when Rafe comes up to her.

“Hey.” He seems anxious. He can’t seem to stand still and his hair’s a mess.

“Hi, you good?” She asks him.

“No.” She gives him her full attention now. Wondering what he’s about to say to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m selfish.” She doesn’t like the tone he says it in. Like he knows he’s about to tell her something he shouldn’t.

“Whatever you’re about to say don’t.” She goes back to her contract, staring at it blankly.

“When I thought you were engaged-”

“Rafe. Enough.”

“I had never felt so heartbroken in my life.” She’s shaking her head at him, trying to get him to stop.

“And I thought, I have to stop this now. I have to do whatever I can to stop it before it goes too far and I have to ruin your wedding. Because I would. Because I’m selfish.” She doesn’t know what to say to that so she says the first thing that comes to mind.

“It’s too late.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” There’s desperation in his voice, his eyes glassy.

“You’re engaged!” She yells, getting up and in his face.

“No, I love you.”

“I love Julio.”

“I love you.”

“Stop!” She turns her back to him and tries to find her breath.

“None of that changes how I feel. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to figure myself out.” She feels him behind her, looming over her shoulder.

“Why are you telling me any of this?”

“I can’t lose you. And that’s what’s happening because I’m an idiot. But I can’t lose you and I’m going to fight for you.” She turns around to face him, taking a step back, creating distance between them.

“There’s no fighting for me. We’re done. We’ve been over for so long. For three years I only spoke to you on stage or in interviews! There’s no us.”

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Rafe.” Her voice is firm but he doesn’t care.

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go. I’ll leave you alone and you won’t ever have to see me again.”

“Not possible. The band.” She doesn’t know why she needs to make sure the band is safe in this moment, so much has happened between them to keep it alive, it can’t be at risk now.

“Outside of that then. Tell me.” She stays quiet, shaking her head once more.

“Please.” She snaps.

“I was in love with you for years! Since I was 13 years old you have lit up my goddamn world and when you finally gave me that chance, when you started looking at me like we could be something you ripped it all away. You hurt me so much and now? Now is when you want to come back and tell me everything I’ve been hoping for for years. Now when you’re getting married and I’m in a happy relationship?” She finishes, her chest heaving anger leaving her body in droves.

“You’re not in a happy relationship.”

“Rafe.” Her tone is warning him to not continue.

“Come on! He doesn’t understand you the way I do! Doesn’t understand the life we live, and the sacrifices we have made to be where we are. He’s not good enough for you.”

“And you are?”

“No.” She throws her hands up, “but, I understand you. I know who you are at your core, baby.”

“Stop.” She’s sure she’s shooting daggers at him now.

“Why?”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

“No, why are you with him?” He’s close to her again, she can feel his breath hitting her face.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Because I love him!” Rafe’s face falls. She exhales. “I love him.”

“No, you don’t.” She stays quiet.

“You can’t.” He backs up a little, his head shaking, eyes sad.

“Rafe,” she says softly, stepping closer to him. She reaches out but pulls her arm away quickly.

“It’s too late.” She repeats her words from earlier.

“But I love you.” She doesn’t want to hurt him but she knows she has to put an end to this.

“I don’t love you.”

“I’m so stupid. Oh my god, how did I ever let you go? I’m an idiot th-“ she cuts him off putting a hand on his arm.

“Hey hey, stop. It’s okay. We’ll get through this.”

“How?” Tears are threatening to spill over now. His eyes are red. She doesn’t know if it’s from holding back tears or from smoking.

“By being friends.” His blue eyes pierce into hers.

“I’ll try.”

“Okay.” There are a lot of things left unsaid between them. She hugs him for the first time in years and he puts his face in the crook of her neck. She feels him crying. His tears soaking her neck.

“I love you.” She does too. Not in the way that he wants. Not anymore.

“I know.”

#kildaresplit au #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #outerbanks au #rafe obx #rafe cameron au #rafe cameron smau #rafe x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe imagine #rafe outer banks #rafe fic #outerbanks rafe

238 notes · View notes

youkissedareaderinthedark · 9 months

Text

Dear Spa

Synopsis: The Belgian Grand Prix haunts the grid once again

young female mercedes driver reader x F1 2023 grid

(george is on williams with alex, logan is the reserve driver)

We can’t remember “before you”

“Hi!” You grinned into the microphone when an interviewer called you over, to stand beside your teammate, Lewis. “Hi Y/n” He pulled you into a side hug. “Y/n, Mercedes have been looking fast so far, what can we expect from you two today?”

“Well, we hope to get onto the podium, and if not that, then just into the top 5 would be nice”

“And Lewis, what are your expectations for the cars today?”

“I mean, as Y/n said, we’re looking for the car to be in the top 5 at least. We’ve all been working hard in the garage and at the factory and we can only hope it pays off”

“Okay, thank you two, good luck today” The interview said as you two walked away and into the paddock.

2023 was your first year driving for Mercedes, although your third year in Formula 1. Toto Wolff had recruited you from Alpine in the middle of 2022 and had signed you for four years to drive alongside Lewis Hamilton. Seeing as you were much younger than him, you had developed a mentor-mentee relationship with the British man, and he became one of your closest friends on the grid. He gives you advice whenever he can and defends you when the racing world becomes too critical of you.

Right as you were walking through the paddock, you feel two arms wrap around your shoulders. “Hola” “Bonjour” Two accented voices say. “Hey guys, you ready for the race?” You grin at Charles and Carlos as you throw your arms around their shoulders.

“Yes, I can’t wait to be ran off the track again” Charles teases.

Two weeks ago, you ran his Ferrari off the track without even realizing it when he was trying to overtake you. He’s not mad since he ended that race in P3, but he still doesn’t miss an opportunity to tease you about it.

“That was two weeks ago, Chuck. Forgive and forget” You reply

“Don’t worry Y/n, I’ll just wave when I pass you” The Spainard says.

“And are you going to impede me if you do?”

“If I feel like it” He smiles. You laugh “I’ll see you guys later, good luck” You call as they walk towards the Ferrari garage.

You see George, Alex, and Lando together next. “Hey guys” You smiled as you brought each of them into a side hug. “Y/n, so, you remember how we asked you to come golfing with us on Tuesday and you said no?” George asked.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Yes?”

“Well, we asked Lily and Carmen to come along, so you won’t be bored when you join” He smiles as if he came up with the smartest idea possibly.

“Oh, seriously you guys?” You threw your head back as the trio smirked.

“Alright, I’ll come with you. I’m not golfing though”

“Aw thanks, Y/n, you always know how to make us feel loved” Lando said sarcastically.

“We’ll see you after the race, Y/n, good luck” Alex called over his shoulder as the three friends walked away.

“Good luck”

“Alright Y/n, you ready?” Lewis asked you as you stood across from each other in the Mercedes garage. You two were about to start your formation lap, but not without seeing the other off first.

“Of course. We’re going to do great, good luck” You smiled, then you remember you were wearing your helmets, so you hoped he could tell by your eyes that weren't yet covered by the visor. He removed the hands that were on your shoulders.

“Good luck”

There was during you...

You sat in your car as the thirty-second warning came on. Your car rested at the P6 position, Lewis in front of you and Checo Perez behind you. It was supposed to be a good race, the skies were clear, the stands were full, and all ten teams were optimistic.

“Alright everybody, as the red lights come one, everybody clears the track” The voice of David Crofty becomes audible.

You take a deep breath, tighten your grip on the wheel, and focus your gaze on the lights above you.

1...

2...

3..

4..

5..

“And its light’s out and away we go in Spa! Max Verstappen gets away with no trouble, Charles Leclerc following after him into Turn 1. Fernando Alonso isn’t as lucky, scrambling to get away from Carlos Sainz’ Ferrari behind him. Lewis Hamilton manages just fine, as does his teammate behind him, Y/n L/n, pulling away from Checo Perez easily”

There’s a lot you probably should be worried about, but you’re glad you're not. You navigate through the race pretty easily, both Mercedes staying in their respective places until Lap 17. Carlos overtook Fernando, and now your teammate is attempting to do the same.

“Alonso, about to lose two places as Lewis Hamilton closes in on him in Sector. 3 He’s going for it. Hamilton down the outside...can he pull it off? Yes he can! Lewis Hamilton P4 and the show isn’t over for Fernando here. Y/n L/n wants a bit of action too, she’s going for it, their nearing Turn 3...”

DRS is on and you’re not giving up. You go down the inside of the Aston Martin, you’re Parrell to him, you’re going wheel to wheel...

“They touch! Contact between Alonso and L/n! L/n gets turned around and- oh no! Sergio Perez hits into the side of her car! Oh my...that looked...” For the first time in a while, David Crofty is speechless.

Suddenly there is debris everywhere. It’s an immediate red flag and the reflexes of the drivers behind Perez are tested as they try to avoid the collision in the middle of the track. The crash caused Sergio’s car to slow down, but it also set your car forward again which allows his to accelerate again. The Red Bull pauses, waiting for the cars behind him to clear before moving forward and stopping his car at the limits of the track.

“What happened?”

“Who was that?”

“That..that looked bad. Who was it?”

“That was Y/n? Is she okay?”

It all happened too fast. As a Formula 1 driver, you needed to have the fastest reflexes possible, but this time, if you blinked, you’ve already missed half of it. You knew your car had been sprawled sideways across the track, you just didn’t know Checo Perez was a second and a half behind you.

It felt like the entire right side of your body had bowling balls thrown at it. You tried overtaking Fernando on a straight, so the Red Bull crashed into you with full power. Your hip felt the most force, but your legs were crushed under the dented medal of your car. You couldn’t even feel your right arm and it’s better that you didn’t. The crash knocked your head straight into the left side of your headrest and even with that bulky helmet, you were seconds away from unconsciousness.

For reasons you couldn’t figure out and didn’t have the time to, the words said in your last conversation swam in your head.

“Good luck”

If this is good luck, then what is bad luck?

You thought as your eyes closed. You didn’t have to find out, because the luck that was your life, runs out.

Eighteen cars are back in the pitlane, but Sergio Perez’s Red Bull remains out on the track. He turns off his car no problem, but his shaky hands cannot seem to unbuckle the harness that keeps him in his seat. He’s been in Formula 1 a long time, and he can’t thoroughly describe it, only as a terrible, terrible feeling, one you have all over your body. He’s only felt it once and he never wanted to feel it again. His body is in déjà vu, thinking of the terrible day in Japan, in denial of this day in Spa.

He pulls himself out of the car and sprints towards you. “Y/n!” He screams as loud as he possibly can. “Y/n!” He’s muttering curses and pleadings. “Y/n please” He lifts your visor to reveal your closed eyes. The Mexican swears again and looks around frantically for the medical team. He weaves his arms through the halo and starts shaking your shoulders. Segio doesn’t know what it’ll do but he doesn’t know what else he can do.

He unbuckles your harness as well before removing your helmet and balaclava whilst his brain is trying to remember the safety procedures he was taught. The man places two fingers underneath your chin where your pulse point is supposed to be. Except it isn’t, and Sergio Perez begins to panic. He tries to be still for a moment, watch your nose and your mouth and your chest for any signs of breathing, and places his hands over his own helmet covered face. His voice breaks. “Y/n”

Flashes of red lights dance across your reflective visor and the sound of sirens becomes audible. He keeps his head rested on the side of your car and his hands clasped together in a prayer, hoping that the crash could be undone. There are wheels squeaking against the track and footsteps rushing around and he feels a hand placed on his shoulder.

“Sergio, are you okay? Come over here, you need a checkup...” A marshal drones on but Checo’s mind is on you. That terrible feeling is drowning him, forcing him to remember how it felt when he learned Jules Bianchi died and how he promised to never let a friend die. Sergio Perez has been in Formula 1 a long time; he should know not to make promises you can’t keep.

But we never thought there’d be an “after” you

The Mercedes garage knows first. The message comes from a radio and Lewis thinks that no message that important should be given by a radio.

He’s angry first. The British man is not known for his rage, but it escapes him before he can control it. He’s been out of his car for almost 10 minutes by now, Toto telling him to come out when 20 minutes passed, and they hadn’t been given an update. Lewis was listening to the station the medical team uses, and he, like everyone else in the room, was still.

“We’ve completed the examination, there is no pulse. Y/n L/n is dead”

A calm, before the storm.

He grabs the radio before anyone can react and is shouting without even realizing it. “No you haven’t. You check and you check again and again until she walks back here, okay?” Lewis’s voice breaks and his heart knows it even though his brain is denying it.

“I’m sorry but she’s-”

“No, no, she isn’t anything. She is fine and you bring her back here right now. You tell her I need to talk to her, you tell her I need her right now” A sob slips from his mouth and he’s buried his head in his hands as if taking his eyes off the world would bring her back into it.

The normally stoic Toto Wolff has tears shining in his eyes and Susie is crying next to him. The engineers in the room don’t know what to do, only that they want to go home and miss you and try to convince themselves they’ll see you later, walking out of the hotel with a smile on your face, rushing to catch your flight.

The FIA knows your relationship with the rest of the drivers well enough that none of them will have the heart and mind to finish the race. They radio each of the team’s garage’s one at a time, breaking the news and informing them of their decision.

David Crofty and Martin Brundle know next, and they are graced with the gift of telling almost 400 thousand people that one of their drivers have died. David Crofty and Martin Brundle are well into their age and have seen a lot but seeing a young woman killed doing what she loved in a freak accident? No, that’s too much.

A heavy silence fills Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps and the fans are stunned into the silence of reality.

The drivers are questioning themselves for the first time since 2019. Charles Leclerc breaks down into tears and he’s not sure how many more loved ones he can lose before he crumbles completely. Pierre Gasly sobs at the thought of having to lay another bouquet of flowers at this track and this time, without you by his side.

Esteban Ocon is spiraling into déjà vu and Yuki Tsunoda is torn between comforting himself, Daniel Ricciardo, or making the trip to Alpine to see his best friend. In that moment, the Australian is sure he will never smile again because you aren’t here it mirror it or cause it. Carlos Sainz hopes he never loses one of his sisters but if he does, he knows it will feel like this. The Spainard only wished to protect you and keep you happy and is left crying while his wishes fall away just like his tears.

Fernando Alonso knows this is something that will be engraved in his mind for every second of every day for the rest of his life. People assure him, it’s not your fault, it was a freak accident, but it doesn’t feel like it. He knows how to defend, especially without making contact, so how do you explain this? The man is advised not to let the grief consume him, but he welcomes it, lives with it until November, when he announces his retirement and knows that it’s permanent this time.

Lando Norris, George Russel, and Alex Albon are in states of disbelief.

We were talking, not even two hours ago... she was supposed to go with us...

You were supposed to go golfing with the three, yes, but you were also meant to go through Formula 1 with them. Be there for every podium, every win, every World Championship the four of you always dreamed of winning. Now they just dream of getting one more minute with you.

Dear Spa, stop killing our friends

#formula 1 #f1 grid x reader #reader insert #driver reader #f1 imagine #formula 1 driver imagines #platonic f1 grid #angst

826 notes · View notes

wwilsonbarness · 7 months

Text

stay?

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

summary: after one date with Bucky Barnes your life takes a turn for the worst.

warnings: awkward first date (kinda), violence, angst, fluff, sexual assault (warning just in case), kidnapping, sad bucky, sad reader, sadness lol (let me know if i forgot anything pleasee)

word count: 4170

a/n: enjoy :)

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

masterlist

Your pinky finger was slowly inching towards his as he walked you up the steps to your door. It had been the perfect evening, starting off with a dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city, then a couple games of mini golf followed by cheeseburgers because both of you agreed the portions at “WOZ” were nowhere near enough. You’d met Bucky through one of your friends, and if you were being honest the idea of dating an Avenger was very intimidating but she insisted you would be ‘perfect together’.

“Thank you for tonight Bucky, I had a really good time.” You’d grown more confident as the night went on but now that the date was ending you were back to your shy self. You didn’t want the night to end and even though you’d only met Bucky a few hours ago you had felt an instant connection. It really felt like how the movies made first dates look.

“I had a good time too, would..” He stops himself and you can tell he’s feeling nervous, so you smile up at him, silently asking him to continue. You see his shoulders loosen once he sees your smile, “..would you maybe wanna do this aga-..?”

“Yes.” You answer before he can even finish his sentence.

“You do?”

“I do.” You were internally beating yourself up for being so awkward but you couldn’t help but jump at the chance at seeing Bucky again. What you didn’t know that was Bucky was doing the same thing, Steve had always described him as being smooth with the ladies but right now it was like all his flirting skills had completely disappeared.

“I erm, I better get going, but I’ll call you!”

“I’ll be waiting!” You cringed at yourself, why did you have to be so awkward?

“See you doll.” Bucky flashes you a smile - which has become one of your favourite sights in the very short time you’ve known him - before he starts to walk down the steps. You wave to him as he walks away and wait until you can no longer see him before you close your door.

You drop your bag on the counter, untie your shoes and start to unzip your dress as you walk to your bedroom before a knock at your door stops you. You don’t think twice before going over and opening the knock, the only logical person it could be was Bucky. Right?

“Back alrea- Oh. Hi?” It wasn’t Bucky, it was a man with short black hair and tattoos and a black hood covering most of his face. “Can I help you?”

“You Y/N Y/L/N?” The man grunts at you in return.

“I am.. Who are you?” As soon as you answer him you regret it, it goes against every piece of advice you’d been given about being safe as a woman in the city.

“You don’t need to know who I am sweetheart.” Your heartbeat was beginning to speed up now, panic setting in fast. You try to close your door as quickly as you can but his foot stops you.

He begins to shake his head, “Uh uh, I don’t think so.” he pushes forward and you fall backwards landing on the floor.

Your eyes were beginning to well up and you were frozen in fear, this was it wasn’t it? You’re gonna die right here.

“Stop being such a baby jesus fucking christ.” He paced around your apartment a little, his jacket moving slightly which makes the gun he has in the back of his jeans become visible.

“P-Please, you can take anything you want. Just please don’t hurt me” You pleaded to him, hoping somehow there was a tiny part of him that would listen.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” You sighed deeply thinking there was a chance you’d get out of this alive, but if he wasn’t going to hurt you what was he planning to do?

“What do..what do you want from me?”

“I’m just here to take ya to the big man.”

You didn’t think you could feel any more scared than you already did, but the mention of “the big man” terrified you. Why were they targeting you?

“Do me a favour, would ya sweetheart? Stop talking.” He smirked down at you which only made you feel worse, it looked like he was enjoying this.

You were too scared to say anything else, and he was focusing on his phone instead of you. Part of you was tempted to try and escape but you were still frozen in fear, you had no defence skills and probably wouldn’t get very far and you really didn’t wanna piss this guy off anymore.

Around 10 minutes pass of you sitting on the floor, wracking your brain to find any reason as to why someone would want to kidnap you. You weren't anything special, and you hadn’t even lived in New York for that long.

“Get up. He’s ready for ya.” You get to your feet shakily and wait for him to tell you what to do next.

“Go on then.” He shoves you towards the door, and follows behind you. As you near the door you feel something hard against your back. “Make any noise and I’ll use it.” Shit. You didn’t say anything back, just nodding to show you understood.

After you get into his car he drives for what feels like hours to an underground garage, you tried to memorise the route you went but it was hopeless. You’d never been to this side of the city before. A few minutes walk later and you’re standing outside an office, you assume this is the guy who sent someone to hunt you down.

The door opens and you get pushed in, stumbling a little before you find your balance. There are two men waiting in there, who look you up and down before smirking.

“Soldier chooses them well.” The taller one says to his shorter friend.

“Sure does. Shame he’ll never see her again.”

Soldier? Are they talking about Bucky?

“What do you want from me?” You tried to keep your voice calm but you could tell it came out laced with fear.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” The shorter man walks towards you and trials his finger over the edge of your dress. “All you need to worry about is standing here and looking pretty, sweetheart.”

—-----

On the other side of the city the soldier in question was sitting discussing ‘the best night of his life’ with Sam, who was silently judging how his friend was acting.

“And everytime she told me a joke she'd wait a couple seconds before laughing to make sure I found it funny first. And when she laughs her nose scrunches up, it’s so adorable. And everytime i told her she looked nice she’d do this thing where she bites her lip and she can’t look me in the eye. It’s ad-“

“Adorable. I get it, Buck.”

Bucky blushes as he realises how long he’d been speaking about you, but he can’t help it. He’s never met someone like you before and he can’t stop thinking about you since he left your doorstep.

“How long is an acceptable time before I call her?” Bucky knows Sam is probably sick of hearing about you but he’s Bucky’s favourite (and only) person he feels safe enough to talk to, not that he’d ever tell Sam that.

Sam looks at the imaginary watch on his wrist before answering. “Not 3 hours Buck.” A frown appears on Bucky’s face to which Sam snickers at. “I thought you were a ladies man.”

“I was. Things are different now.” Bucky tries to force a smile out but he can’t. His voice grows a lot quieter as he continues. “Do you think she doesn’t want me to call?”

“Hey, I didn’t say that! The way you’ve described the night, it sounds like she feels the same as you.”

“Hm. Maybe.”

“Buck I’m serious, I was just joking before. I’m sure she’s waiting for your call.”

“So tomorrow?” Bucky asks with his smirk growing again.

Sam laughs, “Yeah, tomorrow.”

Safe to say Bucky does not wait until tomorrow, actually he doesn’t even make it another hour before texting you.”

Hey, it’s Bucky! Sorry if this is too soon but I had a really good time tonight. We need a rematch soon!

He spent a further 2 hours staring at the screen, with every minute that passed that the message was left on ‘delivered’ he picked apart his message more. He finally locks his phone and heads to his room for the night. But not without a lecture from Sam first. “You called her didn’t you?”

“No!” Bucky rushes to defend himself. “But hypothetically if someone was to text their date 4 hours after the date. How would that look?”

“Bucky! I thought you were waiting until tomorrow.”

“I tried.”

“Has she responded?”

Bucky shakes his head. “Is this what ghosting is? Oh god. Am I being ghosted?”

“Please for the love of god stop letting Peter teach you modern slang. You’re not being ghosted, it’s late she’s probably just sleeping. Bucky looks at the clock behind Sam and sighs in relief.

“You’re right. Okay, I’m gonna sleep too.” It was nearing 3am, no wonder you haven't replied to him he thought to himself.

Bucky gets around 4 hours of sleep before he gets woken up by his phone ringing. He answers it without looking at who it is. “You’ve got 3 hours to give me back my brother, or else your girl gets a bullet through her pretty little face.”

That wakes Bucky up faster than he ever has before. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You heard me, Soldier. Clock’s ticking.” The call ends.

Bucky freezes for a second trying to gain a little bit of understanding of what the fuck just happened. He pulls on the first piece of clothing he can find and runs towards the common room, hoping to find someone who can help him. Luckily the whole team is there, which is strange, normally the only time that happens is when there’s a mission going on.

Before Bucky can even begin to explain what’s happening, Fury pipes up. “Barnes, what do you know about a Y/N Y/L/N?”

“Fuck!” This means he wasn’t imagining that phone call. We had one date, literally just last night. What the fuck is going on?”

Half of the team moves so Bucky can see the big screen, and on it there’s a blown up picture of you, tied to a seat. Your dress is ripped, there’s blood dripping down the side of your face and your eyes are red, as if you’d been crying non stop for hours. Bucky walks slowly towards the screen and stops for a second to take in the picture, and almost instantly his brain switches to fighter mode.

“What do we know?”

“Bucky, maybe you should sit this one out.” Sam tries to reason with him, but Bucky doesn’t listen.

“What the fuck do we know?”

Fury begins to tell Bucky all the information they have. “It seems your girlfriend wa-“

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Bucky wishes that statement wasn’t true, he wishes he could say you were his girl, but after this he was 100% sure that would never be the case.

“Okay.” Nick continues, wary of pissing Bucky off any more. “It seems Ms Y/L/N was taken from her home at around 11.30 last night. Her neighbours report seeing a black Audi sitting outside her apartment before she got home and say it left 30 minutes after you dropped her off. There’s no cameras in the area, her phone was left in her apartment so there is no way of tracking her. And just 30 minutes ago this picture was sent to my email. Along with a threat to her life if Zemo is not released from the raft in 3 hours.”

Bucky tries to process all the information, you were taken just 30 minutes after he left? Guilt. Zemo has a brother? Anger. They were threatening to kill you? Fear.

“I got a phone call a few minutes ago, said the same thing. Any leads on who this bastard is?”

“None. No one is aware of Zemo having a brother.”

Bucky nods along, “What’s the plan?”

“You said you got a call? We’ll get tech to try and track it..” Nat suggests, knowing it most likely won’t work but it’s their best bet right now. “..and when they call again at least we’ll be ready to track it.”

“You think they’re gonna be dumb enough to leave a trace?” Bucky snapped at Nat.

“It’s all we’ve got, Bucky. Look, we know you had some sort of relationship with this girl but you need to stay calm.”

“I’m trying.” Bucky’s voice breaks a little, showing everyone how he is really feeling.

A couple minutes pass of everyone thinking the same thing but being too afraid to say it, until Fury finally breaks the silence. “There’s no way we can let Zemo out.”

Bucky knows there’s no logical reason for them to listen to your kidnappers demands, he knows majority of the time they never stick to them, but the thought of you getting hurt anymore was too much to handle.

“You’re just gonna let her die?” He shouts across the table.

“Barnes I suggest you calm down or I’ll remove your clearance for this mission.” Bucky nods, knowing the best thing he can do right now is keep as calm as possible, panic will only make things worse. “As I was saying, I’m not willing to release Zemo from the raft, but we can make this brother of his think we are. When he next contacts us, we’ll let him believe we’re following what he is asking of us. Everyone got it?”

The room fills with a mix of mumbles, mostly consisting of ‘yes sirs’ and ‘got it’s’. Bucky stays silent. He’d finally found a girl he liked and she ends up in this situation, the guilt he was feeling was worse than anything he’d ever felt before, including the years of physical and mental trauma he’s been through.

Sam’s soft voice breaks him out of his thoughts, “Buck? You okay?” For the first time since he learned of your danger Bucky’s face softens, and his eyes begin to grow wet.

“I don’t wanna lose her Sam.” Sam might not understand how Bucky feels this strongly about you in such a short amount of time but one thing he understands is that you are important to Bucky and that means you are important to him.

“We’ll get her back. Come on. Let’s suit up so we’re ready.”

—--

You made the mistake of asking for some water which resulted in you being slapped across the face with the back of a gun and tied up on a rickety old chair .You hadn’t spoken since. You’d accepted that it was just a matter of time before they killed you and part of you just wanted them to get it over with. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop the tears falling down your cheeks and these men did not like that at all.

“Tell me again why we’re keeping her alive? Her crying is starting to get real boring.” One guy asks the other.

“Just shut her up will ya? I need to call them again” You try so hard to stop yourself from whimpering but the pain from the rope around your hands and the ache in your head hurts so bad and a couple of seconds later a rag is being stuffed in your mouth.

“Darling.. You get what this means?” He lifts his gun up and trails it along the side of your face. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” You hold your breath, terrified that even a slight movement will make things worse. “Good girl.” His smile, it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever forget if you make it out of here alive.

The other man dials a number and puts it on speaker. “You got my brother yet?”

“He’s on his way to us. First we need some proof that Y/N is still alive.”

The man walks over to you slowly and takes the rag slightly out your mouth. “Tell them sweetheart.” You couldn't answer even if you wanted to, the fear being too much. He whips his gun against your head again making you cry out again. “Don’t make me ask again.”

“I.. I’m alive.” You had no idea who you were talking to, it was a voice you didn’t recognise but one you’d never forget, maybe, just maybe they’d be the one who saved you.

—---

“I.. I’m alive.” Bucky nearly breaks down right there at the sound of your voice, Sam's hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes gently.

“Why are you doing this?” Fury asks, he doesn’t really care why, he knows people like these guys have no moral compass but he’s trying to make the call last as long as he can so they can track it.

“You took my brother away from me, I’m only getting him back.”

“At the cost of an innocent life?”

“You mean her?” He scoffs. “Can’t be that innocent if she's dating the winter soldier.” Sam can feel Bucky’s shoulders tense under his touch at the mention of his past life. “Stop wasting my time, just get my brother back to me. I’ll send you an address in 1 hour. Be there or the girl dies.” The call ends before Fury can reply.

“We got them!” An agent Bucky doesn’t know shouts up from the back of the room. “Sir, we’ve got them.”

Bucky immediately makes his way over to where the agent is sitting and tries to read the computer but has no luck, it’s all in code. “Where is she?”

“Water Crescent Garage, on the other side of the city.” She replies, as she continues typing. “The jet will get you there in 15 minutes.”

“Let’s go.” Bucky’s out of the room before anyone can respond, running through the halls and reaching the jet before anyone else.

“Barnes, I’ll remind you. Stay calm or you’re off.”

“I know. I’m calm” He was most certainly calm. “Can we please just go?” His voice is dripping in desperation, he just wants you safe.

—-------

“Looks like Soldier wants you back, hmm?” The taller guy asks you, knowing you can’t answer him. “Maybe I’ll see what he’s getting every night huh?” He begins to run his fingers over your bare shoulder, nearing your neck and beginning to squeeze slightly. You try to move away but the rope keeps you in place. “This what he likes doing to you? He likes having control? He likes to own you?” He brings his other hand towards the zip on the side of your dress before an alarm stops him. He looks around to the other guy in the room. “Stay with her. I’ll go.”

The other guy grunts in response. Once the taller guy has left he walks towards you, gun in his hand. “You better hope your boyfriend isn’t trying something sweetheart. It won’t end well.” You don’t understand why these guys think you and Bucky were so serious, you’d only had one date.

You start to hear gunshots in the distance, getting closer and closer to you every second. You were praying the good guys were winning and that they were here to save you.

A few minutes pass when the door to your room bursts open and none other than Captain America himself walks in. It takes him less than 15 seconds to disarm and knock out the guy who was left with you, although it feels like longer for you. “Buck, I’ve got her.” He walks over to you and removes the cloth in your mouth.

Bucky was here. “Bucky?”

“Hey Y/N, I’m here to help okay?” He begins to untie the rope around your hands, careful to not hurt you. “Bucky’s on his way. It’s over.”

As Sam was untying your feet Bucky runs into the room and rushes over to you. His heart breaks when he sees you upclose. Your cheeks that were so rosy just last night were now white as a ghost, your lips once red were now blue and bruised, the sparkle he had just seen hours ago in your eyes was now replaced with fear.

You stand up with the help of Sam and look towards Bucky.

“Are you okay? Where does it hurt? Sam, call the doc, let her know we’re coming.” Bucky's eyes are moving around your body, scouting out every injury he can find and taking note of it.

The only thing you can bring yourself to say is thank you, your lip wobbles as you say it and your voice is shaky with each word but Bucky understands. “Tha.. Thank you for saving me.”

He slowly reaches out to hold you against him, giving you enough time to tell him to stop if you want to. He wraps his arm around you, carefully avoiding anywhere that looks injured. “I’m sorry. I don��t know why they came after you. I promise as soon as I found out what was happening I started looking for you. I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head, he doesn't owe you an apology, none of this was his fault. The motion only makes you feel nauseous, and you feel as if you might throw up if you move anymore. “I can’t. I can’t.. I feel sick.” Bucky stops as soon as you ask.

“Can I carry you?”

“Please.” You were embarrassed to be feeling this weak but he didn’t seem bothered by it. He just seemed sad.

—---

After you get seen by the avenger’s doctor and prescribed some pretty strong painkillers you finally arrive home. Bucky tried to get you to stay in for longer, he was worried you would be feeling worse once the shock had worn off but you insisted on coming home. You needed to be in your own space.

“I’ll make you some food, you wanna get changed out of those?” You weren’t really hungry but you couldn't bring yourself to say no. You did want to badly get changed out of the clothes Natasha had lent you, they were very tight.

“Thank you.”

Bucky wanted to tell you to stop thanking him, you should be angry at him and it was killing him that you were treating him with so much kindness after everything you’d been through at his fault.

Bucky makes you a sandwich, knowing you probably wouldn't be too hungry. “It’s just to get some food in you. Some water too.” He said as he handed you a plate and glass of water.

The next words that left Bucky’s mouth were ones he’d never wanted to say but it didn’t feel right staying with you after what he’d put you through. “Do you need anything else before I go?”

You nearly choke as you swallow that bite. He gets down to his knee and looks up at you. “You okay?” You immediately start crying, not even trying to hide it. “Hey, what's wrong?” You hadn’t been apart from Bucky since he found you, and now that he was leaving you felt so scared again.

“I don’t wanna be alone.” His heart breaks again at how soft your voice comes out, almost as if you were afraid to speak.

He wants nothing more than to stay with you, keep you safe but he feels that with every second he spends with you the more you'll be at risk.

“Is there anyone I can call to stay with you?”

“Could you?” You almost whisper to him.

“What was that?” He asks softly.

“Could you stay?”

“You really want me to?”

“I do.”

He almost, almost says yes before he remembers how you looked when he found you in that room. He stands up and backs away a little. “I don’t think I should.”

You try to stand up and walk towards him but get a bit dizzy as you do, grabbing onto his arm for balance. “Why not?”

“Doll, sit down.” He guides you gently back onto the couch. “It’s my fault you got hurt.”

“No Bucky, that’s not true. I really like you Bucky, and whilst this may not have been the second date we had in mind, I don’t want to lose you. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same.”

“I never said I didn't feel the same way, I just.. I just can't put you in any more danger.”

“The way I see it, you saved me from danger. And I know now that you’ll always be there to save me. Please stay?” He nods.

“You’ll stay?”

“I’ll stay.”

#wwilsonbarness #stay?#marvel #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #buckybarnes x y/n #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fan fiction

543 notes · View notes