#GET HIS ASS MAX | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gaycrittercentral · 1 year

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Congratulations to these two idiots for somehow sneaking into first place on @thegreatbigdetectivepolll and thanks to the poll runner for a super fun time!! :D

now GO HELP THEM DEFEAT THE ACCURSED SECRET FINAL BOSS

#GET HIS ASS MAX #hfkshdjhdjs I still can’t believe they won!! 0.4 percent…DAMN #absolutely wild. and what a fun tournament overall too!#thank GOD we avoided a 50/50 Sherlock gnomes intrusion. oh the horror #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #freelance husbands #tumblr detective competiton #my art

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nylwnder · 2 months

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DOMI BEING A FUCKING PEST AT THE BENCH —AS HE SHOULD — AND BERT JUST GOING ALONG WITH IT I FUCKING LOVE THIS LINE

#leafs lb #GET HIS ASS MAX

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il-predestinato · 2 months

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Oh, I’m so sorry Daniel that sexual misconduct allegations are too much of a “noise and distraction” for you. How very understandable that you wish for this to simply “go away.” Incredibly inconvenient that this is messing with your vibes.

Not that I expected much from a man who said he didn’t watch world news because it contains too much “drama and negativity” for him.

#daniel ricciardo #i mean we are all talking about this right??#f1 #interview #saudi arabian gp 2024 #like if this were one of my faves we’d never hear the end of it #don’t get me wrong - both max and charles have said some ignorant crap but their asses were called out and skewered and so they should #he ain’t getting a pass just cuz y’all love his doofus smile #elle.txt #p.s. stroll bottas and hulkenberg should all be ashamed too

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kennahjune · 4 months

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Fuck the Trauma Bond

A Lucas and the Party version of this

…

Lucas was bouncing the ball on the pavement of the basketball court at the playground. It was surrounded by high chain-link fences and the hoops on either end were worn and rusted and the pavement itself was cracked worse than the Upside Down ground.

He had never looked happier.

Dustin and Will looked on from where they sat at the top of the slide on the playground. Lucas was tossing the ball around with a couple of other kids from school that neither of them knew.

But Lucas knew them, and that was all that mattered, apparently.

Max, El and Mike were a little farther back from Lucas, past the lame excuse of a basketball court and in the street, where Max was showing Mike how to skateboard while El loitered and watched.

It was absolutely sweltering. Ranging from 92 degrees to the Devils fucking asscrack, in Dustin totally correct opinion.

He was bored out of his mind but didn’t mind watching Lucas bounce the ball. He looked happier bouncing an orange sphere than he did playing DnD, which unsettled Dustin in a way that made him lightheaded.

“Hey, Will.”

Will hummed in acknowledgment but didn’t look up from his sketchpad.

“Does Lucas look happier?”

Will looked at Dustin with a raised eyebrow before focusing in on Lucas.

“Huh. I mean sure.” He shrugged. “But it’s cause it’s basketball. Lucas really likes basketball. And if he really likes it then why not be happy while doing it?”

Dustin flipped the thought a few times in his head.

It wasn’t that he was mad about Lucas playing basketball. He got over that a while ago after Lucas and Mike had a full-blown argument/mental breakdown that included Mike’s abandonment issues and Lucas’ FOMO (fear of missing out).

But Dustin also wasn’t outright vocally supportive. He didn’t go to the games, he didn’t hang around for Lucas’ practices. He would (probably), but even after Eddie’s name was cleared and he was painted a hero but the government goons, Mike and himself were still targeted heavily in school alongside the rest of Hellfire.

“I don’t really see the appeal, I guess.” He told Will, instead of voicing his inner thoughts.

Will shrugged. “You don’t have to. It’s Lucas’ interest. But simply showing you’re willing to listen to him about said interest can go a lot farther than you’d think.”

“Are you saying I don’t listen to him?”

“I’m saying you guys dismiss him.”

“Dismiss him?” Dustin watched Lucas more intently.

Will hummed. “Literally yesterday. He was talking about his encounter with Steve and how they’d made a really cool new play and you guys all so obviously tuned him out that when he stopped you guys just kept nodding because you hadn’t noticed.”

Huh.

That was really shitty.

“Did we really?”

“Yep.”

“Damn.”

“Damn indeed, Dusty-buns.”

Mike, Max and El joined them a couple minutes later.

“What’re you nerds talking about?” Max asked, sitting at the bottom of the slide with El while Mike climbed up to sit behind the boys and lean on Will’s back.

“How we’re apparently really shitty friends,” answered Dustin with his chin in his hand. He was still watching Lucas. One of the guys playing— a curly blond kid a head shorter than Lucas— pulled him into a weird hug thing where they slapped each other’s backs and immediately went back to playing.

“What?” asked Mike, muffled from where his head was shoved into Will’s shoulder.

“Lucas likes basketball.” Dustin confirmed.

Mike and Max looked at him.

“Yeah? We know that, Henderson.” Max snarked.

“And we know nothing about anything including him and basketball.”

They both seemed to pause.

“What do you mean?”

“Will says we’ve been dismissing him every time he brings it up.”

They both looked at Will, Mike peeling himself off of his back to do so.

Will shrugged and harshly erased something on his paper. “You do.”

“Which is why it’s stopping now.” Declared Dustin.

Mike blinked at him owlishly. “Um, dude? We can’t really go to him games or practices. You know we’ll both get mauled,” he muttered quietly.

The other three looked between Mike and Dustin.

“You’re both having problems still?” Will asked, looking stricken.

“I thought Jason dying would mean they’d fuck off.” Muttered Max.

Mike scoffed. “Just cause Carver’s dead doesn’t mean shit. They still think Eddie’s the Devil and that we’re his fucking worshipers or whatever. They chased me all the way to the back of the school on Wednesday.”

Will winced and Max glowered. Dustin felt the slide shake a little.

“El, relax. It’s not that bad.” Dustin watched El’s gaze soften slightly and the slide stopped rumbling. She looked at him sadly. They’d all heard about the bullying in Cali at some point. Dustin smiled back but it didn’t reach his eyes.

He turned back to address the whole group.

“Sure we can’t go to every game, but maybe we can get Steve to go with us to some. You guys know he wouldn’t let anything happen. And besides— Steve likes sports to.”

That struck a thought in his mind: how many times had he dismissed Steve?

He pushed it back for now.

“And even without going to games—“ he pressed on, “—we can still try and listen to him more.”

Mike and Max nodded slowly. Dustin takes it they hadn’t realized they hadn’t been listening before.

“And speaking of,” Will said, placing his sketch pad and pencils into his bag. “Here comes the man of the hour.”

Sure enough, Lucas was walking backward to them while waving to the guys who were leaving the park altogether. They were all waving back and laughing.

“Hey, guys!” Lucas jogged up to the slide.

“Hey, stalker,” Max greeted cheekily when Lucas bent to give her a kiss.

“Hi, Lucas!” El cheerily added. “Did you have fun?”

Lucas smiled. “Yeah! Daniel— the dude who was wearing the red hoodie like a damn maniac— was stupid fast and really cool! He showed me how he pushes off his feet for speed and when I—… never mind.” He tried for a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Dustin frowned.

“Why’d you stop? Keep going, dimwit. When you what?” Mike prompted.

Dustin snickered when Will slapped his arm lightly.

Lucas looked stricken for a split second before his face broke out in a grin.

“Well—“

And the rest is history.

.

Bonus:

When the first game came up, only 3 months later, Steve took the whole Party— older teens included.

They took Eddie’s van, the kids piled in the back while the teens took the actual seats.

When they got to school it was hectic chaos of Steve taking a headcount and leading everyone in. They struggled to find seats where their whole group would fit and in the end they sat on the bottom line of the bleachers with half of the them on the floor.

It was actually fun, much to Dustin’s and Mike’s surprise. Even if the looks shot at them and Eddie from some of the players were downright hostile.

Steve went with them every time they got up to do anything. No one left without someone else there— so Mike wasn’t alone when Adrian Gonzales tried to corner him by the concessions. And Dustin wasn’t in as much trouble when Treyton Klink pulled him by the shirt into the bathrooms.

So yeah— it wasn’t the best. But that was ok, because the hug Lucas gave them afterwards was worth it. Dustin would go through hell (again) to get another hug like that.

Mike looked about ready to agree with the flush that now littered his face and shoulders.

Will laughed at him and poked fun at him about the blush the entire ride home. Max and Lucas himself eventually played in with it as well, only worsening the blush and making the teasing better.

Lucas was over the moon for the rest of the night.

They slept over at Casa Harrington (as the Party so lovingly called it), piling blankets and pillows and dragged mattresses and discarded cushions on the living room floor while Lucas went on and on and on with Steve for what felt like forever.

Dustin wouldn’t have it any other way.

Especially with the matching smiles on their faces.

Dustin’s never seen them so happy, and he caught Eddie staring at Steve the same way Max was staring at Lucas, so Dustin figured he agreed.

He’d endured literal hell for his friends; what’s so wrong about one interest?

Dustin’s dreams were filled with buzzers and cheering and scoreboards. But that was a problem to complain about tomorrow.

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blorbocedes · 9 months

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what goes around, goes around, goes all the way back around...

#during merc domination era 2015 lewis like famously partied around. didn't do sim. showed up and won races #nico was getting the checo flop teammate treatment 🥲#except if max today bragged ab how much checo is working hard to try to catch him and can't his ass would get called out #like lewis himself reflects: he wasn't a great teammate #anyways now lewis is the one putting in his hours to try to catch up to the bulls #parallels haha #brothercedes

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 3 months

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my greatest achievement in DA2 is maxing out Carver's friendship

and all it took was begrudgingly kissing a little templar ass in act 1 because Carver didn't want to plan a prison break if my Hawke got his ass arrested for being stupid.

#carver hawke #dragon age #dragon age 2 #da2 #well that and he didn't want leandra gamlen and himself to also get arrested for harboring an apostate but you get me #carver hawke loves his sibling and doesn't want them to get taken away that's why he's such an ass and approves of 'pro-templar' choices #in act 1 he's not pro-templar himself but kissing a little templar ass is how you avoid being arrested #'why yes cullen you are so right the templars are so cool and sexy' my hawke says through gritted teeth for that +5 friendship #look i love him okay he's my favorite and i will go the extra mile to make him happy and it's worth it for how much softer can be later on #honestly maxing out his friendship isn't hard if you're aware of what quests you're bringing him on and make him a grey warden #oh but you do need the legacy dlc otherwise you can't fully max friendship out... you can still get enough to change his dialogue/attitude #also like... we the player know hawke won't be arrested like they're not in any actual dangers from the templars as the playable character #but carver doesn't know that and neither does hawke so the templars *are* a real threat to them #and it's incredibly reckless to purposely piss off templars AND selfish because it's not just hawke that'll be arrested it's their family #for harboring them like we witness templars going after people hiding apostates soooo.....#i'm just saying that carver isn't irrational or just being an ass to personally annoy you okay he has cause #also once carver's a warden and ed has money and the estate THEN he's way more open about telling the templars to piss off #sigh one day i'll sit down and write an essay about carver.... one day

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daily-hanamura · 5 months

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#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #so its canon then that yosuke tends to forget to take of himself when he gets busy/stressed/etc then :)#yosuke's already a lanky ass like my guy stop making people worry about you!!!#also i like juxtaposing this against his group cafe date like of wanting to date someone he can look after because its both #bro you cant even take care of yourself #but also yosuke understanding himself enough that to be cared for is to be loved #anyway this is why you should always always have lunch with yosuke and feed him thanks for coming to my ted talk #OK BUT I also love that it's something that yu noticed about yosuke too because its so closely related to how he does. you know.#feed his friends food as a metaphor for love and all that and how yosuke hasnt had much attention (from him) lately #ok jk I'll stop being delulu but also really.#i feel a lot of Feelings about how yosuke and chie are the later members to awaken their 3rd tier #for meta reasons obviously it's also the fact that after maxing out yosuke's slink there arent as many opportunities to hang out #and there are so many good fics of that i slurp it all up #but for yosuke to point it out makes me so. SO.#anyway one final note is also yes i commented about how yosuke wasnt really doing a great job looking after himself but #i also think about his later comment that when people are relying on him it makes him want to do his best for others #and how he says he will always be there for his partner #and it makes me interpret all of that as yosuke being very roundabout in saying that he wants the two of them to look after each other #he's good with his queue

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dankovskaya · 1 year

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Casual Friday at the unethical hypercapitalist industrial dystopia prenatal alien DNA human experiment super soldier divison 👽🌠

#Sick to death of his gay ass hair. Get away from me.#myart #sephiroth #ff7 #final fantasy 7 #Um. nothing else to tag.#MAX... COME GET YOUR JUICE #''Why would you reflect them like that and create a weird massive orb of empty space.'' Same reason youtubers put massive red arrows in #their thumbnails. Next question.#Veni veni venias Ne me mori facias......

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shieldofiron · 1 year

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Meanwhile, on the other side of Hawkins:

#text post #harringrove #Billy Hargrove #Steve Harrington #robin buckley #max mayfield #yes girl get his ass #mine #max's face is everything #incorrect stranger things quotes #harringrove memes #billy antis dni #honestly walking hr violation steve harrington #walking osha violation billy hargrove #mine but my faves

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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Vecna’s plan requiring Mike to leave for California means nothing. The number 1 following Mike cryptically at the airport means nothing. Them barely giving us Mike’s perspective the last two seasons (despite him being the original protagonist) means nothing and it isn’t setting up his POV to be revealed in s5 bc the entire audience is completely comfortable with where Mike stands as a character in regards to his deeper feelings/motives. No confusion there so no need to address that. Mike saying How will I survive a whole week without you guys at the start of s4 wasn't foreshadowing his fate at the end of said week. Mike standing in front of exit signs 3+ times in s4 is probably just a coincidence. Mike being associated with gaping mouths in multiple moments spanning the entire series, even going back to his very first line on the show, means nothing at all. Nancy’s vision about her family (Mike) dying was mentioned at the end of s4, but it didn’t happen so probably won’t ever happen, even though there’s still another season left set directly after the events of s4. Will calling Mike the heart and how without heart they’d all fall apart, was not in any shape form foreshadowing something happening to Mike and them all falling apart, bc Mike is definitely just a prop and everything in relation to his story only holds meaning on the surface or for other characters arcs and couldn’t possibly be hinting at something deeper that’s being saved as one of the many surprises for the last season.

#byler #stranger things #im sorry but ppl getting mad over speculation about mike and vecna is weird… especially when there's series long evidence…#like we know for a fact Will and vecna are facing off in s5 it's a given with the most basic ga being ready for it #it’s probably going to really come to a head in that final battle in the last two episodes #so early s5 and everything leading up to Will being confronted by vecna cant just be Will and vecna confronting each other over and over…#that would make their final confrontation anticlimactic #there’s a reason we keep seeing a chess board/dnd in relation to the events to come #bc EVERYONE is a piece in vecna’s game #EVERYONE plays a role in him reaching his main goal #back in 2019 if ppl heard max was a target or Nancy was a target in s4 they would’ve been confused #bc there’s little to no ties between the mindflayer and those characters #for a fact Will has more ties to vecna than them #HOWEVER them having no connection to vecna is not entirely true #vecna is connected to Max and Nancy’s trauma related to the person they lost because of him..#and he used that against them to be 10 steps ahead so that he can lead up to reaching his final goal AKA WILL #he could have just got will 10 times already but he doesn't do it that way #we could’ve not had any of the events in s3-4 happen with random ass characters #BUT THE REALITY IS VECNA WANTS/NEEDS CANNON FODDER #he needs ppl that are just players in his game to overcome to eventually follow through with his plan #Mike arguably has fucked over vecna more than anyone #he’s also someone that both Will and El care for dearly #there’s a reason vecna's plan required the great big love triangle mishap in s4 #his plan literally depended on that miscommunication so that they would have a false win #like y’all just seem to want the most anticlimactic season with Will and vecna facing off only…#yes that Will happen and it will be some of the biggest moments of the season #but there's other stuff that's gotta happen...#and tbh will is going to be swamped with venca/lab revelations next season #them pounding us on the head with will is gay in s5 is going to feel repetitive as we've seen that four seasons in a row...#mike on the other hand...

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ectonurites · 7 months

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there is something so funny about people using comic panels they clearly don't know/don't remember the context around when trying to say something/make a point... like bruh...

#i do not wanna be a bitch and comment on the post. but i simply think the bruce & jason hug in rhato 2016 issue 27 is not a good example #of bruce being a good dad. because it's in the immediate aftermath of rhato 2016 issue 25. where bruce had beat the shit #out of jason (to the point that he couldn't get up on his own and walk around for 3+ weeks due to the injuries. injuries From Bruce)#and kicked him out of gotham. they only hug in issue 27 because bruce came to tell jason about roy's death in person.#there isn't *regret* for what happened two issues earlier. bruce says 'do i think you need an occasional kick in the ass? i won't deny it'#like that's... not a comic to pull from when 'Bruce should be portrayed as a good dad like this!' is the point ur making dsgfdhgf #grandpa max is god? i go to church now

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zappedbyzabka · 9 months

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🖤💀🖤💀

#Okay I see youuuu #With your cute skeleton heart shirt and tiny shorts #Who dressed him. the hat was an odd choice but everything else? just picture me as a sleazy sailor #The bracelettttt #No bc I’m just as bad about his wrists as Kreese and Terry. pin them to a bed.#And his name is Kim. KIM #That’s so good for me you don’t get it #Kimmy gets his ass pounded by a crew mate or dock worker every single night no doubt (pretending most of them ARENT his siblings)#You don’t have to explain the white stains on your crop top and in your hair when you fucked in the water. cleans it off #Mo was clearly his main meat.#Kim fisher #william zabka #Ok sweet little kimmy over here (no relation) is getting given to THREE adjacent characters #N 1: Max Perish (Hollow Point)#(omfg. Tig did play a damn pirate slslskskksksks. Captain Jeffery)#N2: Wolf Larsen (WAIT. Greg Larsen and Wolf Larsen? amazing) because why wouldn’t I give this soft boy to him…#N3: Bianchi (that weird Hamlet movie Ralph was a side character in) because he was kind of creepy #and a dick. clearly he needed his balls drained into a blond to make him just shut the fuck up #I love cheesy ass 80’s and early 2000’s movies with hot daddies—who said that🤨 wasnt meeee. No but geez some of these are so cheesy #I could put them on nachos. Oh wait. Eugene in Crossroads can have Kimmy too. Long as the hat comes off during sex #Play him a little song on his guitar and see how Kimmy thanks him—play that guitar at him boy #nsft #There’s too many options.

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gaycrittercentral · 9 months

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HI HELLO your Sams are honestly my absolute favourite so maybe a lil smth of Max giving him a smooch and telling him he's the best 😭 honestly i love them in your style so much ty for all the amazing art ❤️

BWAAAAGGGHFJHDHDJFJD THABK YOUUUU THATS SO SWEET TvT hhhfjfhdjd he’s just a big pubby I’m love himb….

Also I did end up taking the smooch in a slightly different direction but hopefully any smooch is a good smooch lmao

#why you got your hand on his ass like that what are you gay >:V (yes very)#also I got some more stuff coming up but it all needs coloring so it’ll have to wait til I get home (virtues content teehee)#hhhhgkgkgkgkhhgkdhdjhfjfd themb………. <3 #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #freelance husbands #my art #asks

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charlesemersonwinchesteriii · 1 year

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Ah, Major Winchester, the party of one! Dinner is served.

#MASH #Maxwell Q Klinger #Charles Emerson Winchester III #MASH gif #MASH TV #THE THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET TWO DIFFERENT BITS OF SEQUENTIAL TEXT ON ONE GIF.... PHOTOPEA VIOLATING THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS AGAINST ME #I was so torn on the caption also. Could NOT decide between that and ''Sorry sir; no hemlock. But I can get you some ketchup.''#but the opening line is sooooo fucking much.... the party of one.... the way Max always fucking Gets It #anyhow. Merry CharMax Eve!#who was it who did the excellent analysis of how the big serious A plot of Death Takes A Holiday actually sucked #come forward I need to reblog that post while I rewatch the ep but specifically only the CharMax storyline #because again: the A plot is nothing but nonsensical and frustrating #Starky's Original Posts #BTW SERVING DOS A COURT SUMMONS VIA OUIJA BOARD SO I CAN PROSECUTE HIS ASS FOR THE MICROEXPRESSIONS IN THAT LAST GIF!!!!!!!#DOS; world's greatest actor and horridest menace: and now Charles will aaaaalmost give in and smile #to express his genuine love and affection for someone. But not quite! hehehe ;P #me; crying: he can't keep getting away with it!!!!!!#charmax #HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO MY BELOVED K <3<3<3 let this gifset symbolize a passionate embrace of consummation betwixt us two #unless that was a weird and too much thing to say in which case [explodes]

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blorbocedes · 8 months

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George frauding his way into this list when his Williams rookie years were absolutely forgettable...... Lewis Hamilton's 2022 mid year back pain I will never forgive you for losing to GR and hence him getting hyped on the same level as world champion debuts!!!!!!!!!

Lewis Hamilton in 2007: 109 points

Max Verstappen in 2015: 49 points

George Russell in 2019: 0 points (only driver with 0)

#2007 lewis is like. no one can touch that he practically got in the car and beat fernandos ass #POLE ON DEBUT!!! WIN ON DEBUT!!!???#max getting in the rbr and winning his very first race as a teenager #George is the only driver in 2019 who finished with 0 points #for what it's worth I don't think rookies should be held to WDC standards and be allowed a full season to learn and grow #I object to george being put on the list of the WDC rookies however #grussell slander

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violentdelightsandviolentends · 2 months

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I physically shake with rage every time that I see j*s verstappen on my tv screen

I don’t even have the words to describe my hatred for that man

#I really can’t stand him #like severely #he’s going to ruin his own sons career because he’s got a big ass mouth #stop living life through your son and get your own #it makes me furious #how max has such a big heart is an absolute wonder #murph talks f1 #max verstappen #mv1 #formula one #formula 1 #f1 #mv33

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