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stellocchia · 3 years

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Since I really enjoyed yesterday's stream I decided to do one of my overly long analysis on it

So, here's my analysis of (DSMP LORE) Healthy Competition

Dialogues will be color-coded as usual, so here's what I used: Phil, Wilbur, Ranboo

As always I am incapable of brevity, so everything's under the cut

The stream starts with a conversation between Phil and Wilbur in which Wilbur admits that he hasn't been to visit Phil in a while, which makes Phil's later threat about throwing him out feel that much more ridiculous since Wilbur clearly doesn't really live with him either way...

"Alright, it's got one for Phil, one for Ranboo, and one for Techno. Is that all that live here? Just you three?" "Yep, just us three, just chilling"

The only reason why I'm singling this out is that it was right after the mention of Techno's birthday and Wilbur was pointing at the seats occupied by the 4 members of the Syndicate so it feels slightly weird that Niki wasn't mentioned at all. But also it's technically not a lie, she doesn't live there and she only comes around for the Syndicate meetings.

Another thing to add is that Wilbur did notice the chest Ranboo left for him and consciously decided to ignore it.

"I must admit I've come to you with a bit of a- a bit of a proposition. You're into propositions Phil? Are you a bit of a 'propositions' kinda guy?" "Oh, depends, depends. You- you've had some pretty... let- let's just say, uh- not- not a great track record on propositions that you've had in the past" "Alright... I mean, I'm trying to move past that"

I wonder what exactly Phil is referring to here. Because, like, Wilbur did bad things, don't get me wrong, but what's his track record with "propositions" in particular? Because he isn't talking about "Tommy, let's be the bad guys" here since he doesn't know about that. Is he talking about Wilbur founding L'Manburg? But then again, I don't think Wilbur interpreted it that way. I think that, from Wilbur's reaction, he clearly interpreted it as a jab at him exploding L'Manburg (which is the one thing he's trying to move past) which would be extremely hypocritical from Phil since he did the exact same thing but worse.

Also, I really do think that Wilbur is trying to move forward. He's lonely and he has the lowest possible opinion of himself so it doesn't feel weird that he'd want to move on. He isn't putting the work in it right now and he hasn't really changed, but he does seem to want to (though I think he may not know how).

"He [Quackity] didn't seem afraid of me, which is cool. Not many people- I mean you don't seem afraid of me. You aren't afraid of me, are you Phil?" (little look into Wilbur's mind and his fear of isolation once again. And this is fear of isolation, he's worried that other people are afraid of him and therefore are only waiting for him to step out of line so that all their fears would be confirmed)

"'Cause I'm not afraid of you [Phil]" (bold words for someone who spent who knows how long lying to his dad because of a crippling fear of disappointment...)

"Technoblade spent his entire time taking down the establishments, what he left is, as predicted, a power vacuum for a new establishment to come in" (in case it wasn't obvious, Wilbur is not the biggest fan of anarchy. And he actually got this one criticism spot on, indeed all taking down L'Manburg did was getting 4 new governmental-like structures to sprout in its place)

"Phil, I want to make a burger van" *Phil sighs and walks away* (I'm more sure now that Phil really meant "creating L'Manburg" as Wilbur's bad track record with propositions)

Wilbur repeating 4 times that he has no ulterior motive with the burger van managed to make me think the exact opposite. That said that ulterior motive may just be to create a safe little home for himself and Tommy for all we know honestly. Also, the whole thing with Phil trying to convince his grown-ass kid to go play with the neighbor kid and Wilbur throwing a tantrum in response was hilarious...

"If he's [Ranboo] shit you gotta come help me okay? If he's shit you've gotta come be burger boy with me, okay?" (he still is mistrustful to an extreme and pretty childish admittedly)

"Why is he [Phil] treating me like a kid?! Why is he treating me like a little baby?" (remembering how Wilbur treated Fundy I think it may be a family problem)

Another interesting thing to point out is that Wilbur was openly scared of the spider attacking him here, and fights it off, but he doesn't move away from the explosion later on and he didn't move away from the exploding creepers last stream. Other people already made this connection, but I do think it may be a sort of way to punish himself. Specifically, it's brought up later on that he thinks he got off easy for what he did, so he's using what he hurt others with (explosions) to hurt himself now as a sort of punishment for that. Which is another indication of just how much his stay in Limbo didn't help with his mental health.

"Am I being- is this [Ranboo having both cows and wheat] a setup?" (the paranoia never left)

"Ranboo I'm gonna go out on a limb here: do- do you wanna be friends?" "Su-sure yeah, I don't see why not" (I think that at this point it was still just Wilbur following along with what his dad told him to do and trying to find out more about Ranboo. That does seem to change later down the line)

"And then we decided that it [the 'cookie' outpost] was too much trouble so we kinda just left it" (So we have confirmation that the cookie outpost was abandoned)

"We're not gonna annoy Quackity" "That's good" "We can't annoy- we can't annoy him because we're simply put- we're simply put gonna be making...- I got the real estate! He's giving me the area and we're gonna be making a competing business"

Wilbur says this as if he wasn't perfectly aware that this would annoy the sh*t out of Quackity. As if the point of it wasn't exactly to annoy Quackity. Or well, annoying him isn't the end goal, it's just the means to an end. We don't know the actual end goal (though I think Wilbur still wants to either be let into Las Nevadas or actually instate a rivalry between them as he said, one of the two).

"We [he and Quackity] were a part of the same cabinet during New L'Manburg or whatever" "Cabinet?" "Yeah a cabinet is like-" "Was this- was this with Tubbo?" "Yeah yeah" (...) "So you were part of the old L'Manburg? I didn't know that actually, I thought you were a bit of an independent"

Once again: Wilbur is missing A LOT of knowledge. He wasn't aware that New L'Manburg had a cabinet and he wasn't aware that Ranboo was ever part of the country either. He has a lot of misconceptions about what happened during the time he was dead so it really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that his views on a lot of things are as warped as they are. Wilbur is getting to his conclusions with an incomplete and sometimes wrong set of data.

"Do you dislike anyone Ranboo?" "Not too much I don't think. I mean there are other people I don't, like, agree with what they've done of course, but I think that everyone is just a product of what they've gone through and everything so if you understand that then you understand the person!"

There is nothing inherently wrong with Ranboo's reasoning here. It's true that most people are a result of their environment and, once you understand what they've been through you can understand them better as a person. It's also fine that he personally doesn't want to hold grudges. But that way of thinking isn't applicable to those who have been hurt by others, sure they can reach an understanding, but an understanding of a person doesn't justify shit and doesn't change shit unless that person works towards repairing old broken relationships. It just all sounds like a nice way of thinking about things in theory, but in practice, it just takes away responsibility from those who have wronged others to fix things and moves it to those who have been wronged. (Ranboo isn't advocating for everyone to think that way though, but I know the fandom will).

Either way, they arrive in Las Nevadas and Wilbur talks about how their place doesn't benefit the consumer and puts down 3 signs.

"I've been trying to think of a name for it [his and Tommy's area], I'm thinking about 'Paradise'"

There are two possible reasons for the name that I can think of:

1) It's in reference to Las Nevadas itself and how Las Nevadas is based on Las Vegas, the famous city of sin

2) It could be a reference to Tommy insistently calling Las Nevadas Paradise in the last stream and Wilbur trying to convince him that their place is the true Paradise

Wilbur does decide to make the Burger Van right at the border which really feels like a very obvious provocation. The other thing is that he makes it clear that he wants the van to be red and white which could be a random choice, but really feels like a reference to Tommy (since they are famously his colors) or an imitation of their opposition. Or both considering how much Tommy liked the restaurant of the opposition and the fact that Wilbur is still trying to convince him to stay.

"I'm not very fond of blue" (at this point it's obvious that Wilbur has quite a bit of pent-up animosity against Ghostbur. I wonder if it is because it still feels like people liked the ghost more than him...)

"Like, the Cookie Shop, I don't even know if it was a cookie shop, to begin with, because it was a little... fortified if I'm entirely honest, I realize that now" "Really?" "Yeah did you not see- oh wait- that giant stone structure?" (Ranboo really did fail to realize that the cookie shop was actually a military outpost, huh?)

"See, I like Tubbo. He's strong-headed, he doesn't let people push him around, you know?" (this is both an interesting change in what he thinks of Tubbo if he actually thinks that and further confirmation that Wilbur isn't a fan of people he considers to be 'followers')

"Why do you claim that you're so 'peaceful' and 'neutral' and yet somehow appear in almost every conflict this server's had since I died?" (since I saw people claiming this is manipulation already, just know that it isn't. He's just confused because, admittedly, Ranboo is a confusing guy and Wilbur doesn't really know him at all)

"Ranboo, why did you come to help me?" (...) "And then also I just think, you know... you can, you know- I think- I think you're an alright person, you know? So I wanna- I did kinda wanna get off on a better foot with you then what happened-" "Why?" "Just because I don't really like having the thought that people don't really like me" "Nonononono not the bit about the right foot, the 'why don't you think I'm a bad person'" "Well I mean, I think that you did bad things, but like, I think that you also went through things that made you that way and then I also think that you've changed now (...) but I think that now you've- apparently you've been away long enough that I think that if anyone goes away for that long eventually they'll have a thought about their morality and everything and maybe become a better person because of it"

I know this quote was absurdly long, but it is one of the most interesting conversations of the whole stream and it is really important and it tells us quite a bit as well. For one thing Wilbur was left quite emotional from someone simply admitting that he's an "alright person" and that they think he's capable of changing and this does bring him to open up to Ranboo right after. What Ranboo says to be exact is that anyone would have changed after going through what Wilbur went through and that change could be positive and while I completely disagree with it, it's clearly something that Wilbur needed to hear.

Now as to why I disagree with the notion that 13 years of semi-complete isolation could change anyone for the better should be rather obvious. But if it isn't, well, that's torture to put it simply. Psychological torture. Just like abuse it's one of those things that only cause trauma and a worsening mental health state and we see this with Wilbur because he didn't change, he only became more self-deprecating. Hurting someone doesn't make them become a better person all of a sudden, that's really not how it works. Hurting someone makes them become more traumatized.

"I think I scare people" ( as I said, immediately opening up about his insecurities)

"I think that a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them" (for a bit here Wilbur talks about how he feels like everyone else is just waiting for him to step a foot out of line, which does really show that he's still interpreting all his interactions with people through the lens of his paranoia and self-deprecation, because no one is really interacting with him with that objective in mind)

"Dream's had his comeuppance and I've not" (this seems to be the crux of Wilbur's insecurity. This idea that he got off scot-free for his crimes, the idea that the only difference between him and Dream is the punishment that's been bestowed upon them which, of course, is wrong, but he doesn't know this, because he doesn't actually know why Dream's in prison)

"I've been investing into the wrong areas Ranboo, I've been investing into the wrong people" (This is either a reference to Tommy, to Phil, to Quackity, or to all of them)

"We're kindred man, we get each other" (the reason why he thinks that is because he seems to think that Ranboo has a similar type of paranoia to what Wilbur experience himself and he's not entirely wrong. Ranboo is deathly afraid of conflict and of being disliked so much so that he never stands up for anything in fear of angering others)

Little definition of "neuroticism" for you all since Wilbur kept mentioning it: neuroticism, one of the Big 5 personality traits, is typically defined as a tendency toward anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and other negative feelings.

I'd say it's quite fitting for both characters...

"I feel like life dealt us the same cards and the difference is that you built your trust by showing people your cards whilst I- I keep them close to my chest and I feel like that may be the big difference" (I felt like this was interesting. Especially knowing how much Ranboo actually doesn't share and how much he actually also keeps close to his chest)

They talk about tubbo in general for a bit and about what's been going on the server in general. Ranboo also that he's part of both Snowchester and the arctic commune (mostly the latter though).

"This has been chill, this has been good, I'm excited to show Tommy. What's your opinion on Tommy?" "Oh, he's- he's great. Tommy's awesome" "I agree I agree" "Definitely gone through a lot but I think that it's made him a good person" "Well you seem to think that everyone going through something at least gives them some merit you said" "I mean, yeah. I mean if- if no one- the only really bad people are the ones who are just evil because- just because and they don't have any reason why"

Included the whole thing here because if I stopped at Ranboo saying that Tommy going through trauma is what made him a good person it would have sounded really bad. As things are I think that that was just poor wording on his part and that this mostly goes back to the mentality he expressed before about how people sometimes do bad things because of the environment they're in pushing them and this idea he seems to have that actual hardships (like 13 years in Limbo or whatever he knows about what Tommy has been through) can encourage people to be better which is... sort of naive honestly. Again, trauma isn't a catalyst for the betterment of a person, and any improvement Tommy has made came from his self-reflection, not what he's been through.

After they're done with the van Wilbur brings Ranboo to their competing establishment and asks him to smash the windows, which Ranboo does with no hesitation whatsoever. After that Wilbur proceeds to place down one single block of TNT in a corner and Ranboo starts being a little more hesitant.

"You trust me right?" (I feel like that was a trick question considering how their common paranoia is the thing that Wilbur praised in Ranboo before)

Wilbur hands Ranboo the flint and steel to detonate the piece of TNT which Ranboo does, albeit with some hesitation.

"You passed the test, good job man, you go back to the van (...) Ranboo- Ranboo... I'm proud of you man. You've taken a side, you've proven that you can choose a side"

Quite a few people have already pointed out how similar this scene was to the time Wilbur tested Tommy in season 1 to decide if he was fit to be his right-hand man. In both situations, Wilbur gave someone a chance to cause some destruction against someone on the opposite side. Tommy passed the test by refusing to do so and showing that he was willing to uphold his morals and what he believed in. Ranboo passed the test by doing the exact opposite, by showing that, as much as he talks about how he chooses people and not sides, he's not willing to prove that even when all he would need to do to do so is doing nothing.

And it's an interesting scene to analyze as a parallel to that, but it's also interesting to note that Wilbur knows about Ranboo and Tommy griefing George together. He knows that Tommy was the only one to face any consequences for it (not that exile was actually the consequence for the griefing, but this is from Wilbur's point of view). Now putting this in the context of Wilbur seeing himself in Ranboo and thinking that he himself got off scot-free explains this next part perfectly in my opinion.

It explains why he made sure to leave this sign:

To me at least. This is only a theory honestly, we don't have an actual full explanation. But I do think that Wilbur may feel like the both of them never got the comeuppance they deserved, which is why he did something that's sure to get a reaction from one of the most powerful people on the server. Though considering that he also left 2 diamonds as retribution + a chest with all the materials he picked up it could have also been Wilbur's idea of a bonding moment and he could actually really be proud of Ranboo.

#long post #dream smp #wilbur soot #philza #ranboo #c!wilbur #c!ranboo #dream smp analysis #character analysis #stream analysis #tw self-harm #tw self-deprecation #tw torture mention #tw abuse mention #I'm sure there are plenty of things I missed #but this was all for now

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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What do you think the Cullens would do if some person they were talking to, out of nowhere just quite literally exploded in front of, and on them? Kinda like in that movie Spontaneous. Would they lose control and slurp up the mess on the ground, (and themselves) or would their bloodlust be curtailed by shock of wtf just happened?

I'd say something witty about how this is a strange anon to receive, but holy jesus you've sent me down a rabbithole.

Here's a trailer to the movie Spontaneous. It looks amazing. Kevin Feige wishes this had been his plot for Infinity War.

Here's a trailer for the movie Spontaneous Combustion, which I found by accident while searching for your fic. This looks amazing too. Can't believe Marvel didn't buy the rights to this guy.

I'm serious, people, you definitely want to watch these trailers. I just about died laughing.

So, on to your ask.

In the spirit of your ask, which implies a level of randomness, I thought the people blowing up should be random too. So, being in the mood to procrastinate through spending way too much time on tumblr things, I wrote a program that'll generate for me random Twilight characters.

Unsure whether the explosion should kill vampires or not, I generated an answer. The answer is yes, any generated vampire dies.

Without further ado:

Alice watches Vladimir blow up.

Alright, alright.

The first question to be answered here is why Alice is in Vladimir's presence in the first time. In canon they only meet once, at the end of Breaking Dawn.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll have Vladimir blow up then.

The Cullens and the witnesses are all celebrating being alive, when Vladimir suddenly explodes.

For the sake of the ask, Alice is sitting closest to him when this happens and making conversation.

Her first thought is utter shock. Not just that he blew up, but that she didn't see it coming (she wouldn't, because I randomly generated him. No decision was made). Her second thought is horror.

The Cullens just confronted the Volturi, now mere hours afterwards their allies are blowing up.

Holy fuck, Aro has a gifted ace up his sleeve, and he's using it to kill them remotely.

Panic ensues, not just for Alice, but among all the witnesses. Some of them refuse to leave, Bella has to shield those 24/7, though given the belief that her gift is psychic that doesn't make them feel very safe.

The others decide to go after the Volturi and beg for mercy, assuring them they never meant to challenge them.

Aro, of course, is very confused, but agrees. Why, yes, he does have a vampire who blows people up. Yes, yes he does.

Bella watches Aro blow up.

Oh I'm dying laughing at this one. And wishing I'd put this down for Carlisle, that would be even funnier, but alright.

Bella is walking about post-Breaking Dawn, minding her own business, when suddenly Aro appears in front of her. He looks around himself, utterly surprised by his sudden deplacement, and then blows up.

Bella has been living in terror of this man for years.

In Volterra he had his servant torture her and Edward and then made ominious threats, then a few months later the Eclipse disaster unfolded, finally we have Breaking Dawn where he showed up to murder her and everyone she loved.

Her shield may be powerful, but for as long as Aro was alive her family was never truly safe.

His untimely implosion changes all of that.

I imagine after a long moment of incredulity, Bella burns the rubble, just to be sure, then tells her family the joyous news.

Carlisle gives the guy a funeral. It's weird.

Carlisle watches Vassilii blow up.

Close call, due to my not switching out the names we almost had Angela. In which case Carlisle have stood there, covered in blood and in shock for several long seconds, before bringing out the bleach and gasoline for a crime scene clean.

As it is, Carlisle is minding his own business when suddenly an immortal child dressed like a medieval Eastern European appears before him. It says something in a foreign language that might mean "hi", he doesn't know but he says "hi" to it back, then the child blows up.

Carlisle stares at the rubble for a very long time, wondering if he is perhaps losing his mind. If, perhaps, Aro was right about animal blood being a slow suicide, and Carlisle has finally hit the limit for how long a vampire can go on without human blood.

He burns the rubble and prays for the child's soul, as an immortal child is doomed anyway, and keeps his silence about what happened. In part because there's a solid chance this was all in his imagination.

If Aro ever touches his hand again, and sees the immortal child that he burned a thousand years earlier resurrect, travel through time, all in order to blow up in front of Carlisle, he... well there comes a point where you say "nothing to see here" and refuse eye contact with the universe glitching.

Edward watches Randall blow up.

Randall, for the ignorants, is one of Carlisle's friends that came to witness for the Cullens in Breaking Dawn.

Suddenly he appears in front of Edward, says hi and how do you do, and then he blows up.

Edward tells Carlisle, who is saddened by this, and they try to piece the guy together. They fail.

Edward sends a somber thought to this noble man who agreed with Edward that the Cullens are awesome enough to be worth dying for.

Emmett watches Mary blow up.

Emmett will never admit it, but it's the coolest, raddest thing he's ever seen.

Esme watches Eleazar blow up.

Oh boy.

The Cullens are visiting the Denali. Irina has not been dead for long, but given the crystal clear memory of vampires, and the loss they already suffered (Sasha's death traumatized them) it doesn't really matter how long it's been, the Denali are devastated anyway.

The whole coven is as fragile as it can possibly get.

Then, Eleazar goes to join Esme in the kitchen, and explodes all over her and the kitchen.

The remaining Denali and the Cullens are called to the kitchen by the sound of Esme's screaming, and find her in hysterics, surrounded by gray rubble.

The Denali are near catatonic with grief at this point, while cooking has been ruined for Esme. One moment you're making food, the next people are exploding all over your kitchen.

Yeah.

Esme is not okay.

Jasper watches Nahuel blow up.

It's a shameful moment in his life.

But, hybrids are edible.

And that blood was splattered all over him.

Jasper has the worst control fail of his life, worse even than when he failed with Bella because this fail means he can't be around Renesmée anymore.

It's miserable all around.

The one highlight here is that it didn't happen when they were headed to the Volturi trial together.

Rosalie watches Emmett blow up.

Jesus christ, random Twilight character generator, just when I thought you were just going to give me boring results.

Not only does Rosalie lose the love of her life, the guy who kept her together, the one good thing she had going for her who made her life worth living, but he did so right in front of her, blowing up out of nowhere.

There's no explanation to be had, no culprit to be found, no reason for it. She had no goodbye, just as she can have no revenge.

She will never have closure.

Renesmée watches Renée blow up.

We go out on a high note, my god. Well done, generator, I'm laughing.

Renesmée is curious enough about her grandmother to go to Florida. She was going to watch from afar, but finds herself talking to the woman who raised her mother.

It's all going well until Renée suddenly explodes all over Renesmée.

Renesmée's first thought is nothing, she's in shock.

Then...

Well, she was controlled as an infant, so I don't think an adult Renesmée would lose it unless under extreme circumstances, like if she encountered a singer.

More, though, Renesmée might have any reasons of her own not to drink human blood, but she has been raised with this being a big no-no.

So she shouldn't.

However...

Is she ever going to get a better chance?

Ethically, she could easily argue this is the right choice. No one will be negatively affected by this, at least not directly.

The human is right there, already dead, and there's no body so while Renesmée does have to clean up the gore. Hell, if she laps up the blood on her clothes and the ground she will be cleaning up. Why waste perfectly good blood?

If Renesmée Cullen is ever going to have human blood, this is it.

It will come down to how much she respects her grandfather, and how important she believes Renée was to Bella.

Bonus, because I'm having way too much fun with this:

Bree watches Atheonodora blow up.

Bree is minding her own business when suddenly a vampire unlike any she has ever seen before, one with hazy eyes and odd skin, appears before her. They stare at each other. Then the woman blows up.

Bree takes this to mean that exploding is apparently something vampires just do sometimes, runs off in a panic and, sobbing, tells Riley.

Riley, having no idea what to make of any of this, tells her it was those evil yellow-eyes with their witchcraft and sorcery.

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lunaekalenda · 3 years

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Can I request a JeanxFem!reader where the reader is super friendly/clingy and isn't conscious of the effects it has on Jean? Like sometimes reader would just grab his hand or hold on to his arm, or even stand in front of him and put his arms around their shoulders? Reader ou does this to Jean bc they're best friends but he will never get used to it bc Jean loves them and is all "asdfghjkl" everytime it happens. But then one day reader stops doing this stuff because someone told her Jean likes them but ONLY bc they look similar to Mikasa, which breaks the Reader's cute lil heart. Angst but fluff at the end please!

hi! of course!! i hope you like it! <3 sorry if i got too fluffy at the end :’)

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

❁ jean x female!reader

❁ canonverse

❁ a/n: i didn’t want to make annie like a “villain” but she’s just being really honest with what she thinks about it, she’s not trying to bother her!

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

"Jean!" you yell. He smiles at you once he found from where your voice comes, and you run to hug your best friend. His tall body gives you difficulties to reach his neck, but he leans closer to you, his big hands on your waist. His heart flutters happily when he feels your warmth closer to him.

“How was your training?” he asks. You tangle your arm with his, starting to walk calmly towards the dorms.

When you entered here, on the military, you wanted to punch him. How he was always feeling superior. You wanted to punch him so bad.

But, after the first battle, where some unlucky friends passed away, he changed abruptly. He understood the pain of the more weak ones, and didn’t vacillate to take risky decisions in due to help the mission. He was made to be a leader, and you two worked hand by hand in the same squad. Thats how, quietly, you started to notice how funny and sweet he is, even when he tries to cover it with his prideful façade. But, since you two got really close, you can even difference what he is feeling, even when he tries so desperately to hide it.

Or so do you think.

One day, when you two were training, Mikasa passed by, following Eren. Jean got his eyes fixed on her black hair.

“You like Mikasa, don’t you?” Connie told him, joking.

“I-I like her hair, no-o more.” He says. In that times, he was your friend, but you weren’t that close.

Surprisingly, the more friends you became, the more strange you felt. Why did your heart a flip every time he smiled at you? Why did you felt bad when Mikasa asked something to him?

Maybe you were starting to feel something for him?

“You’re totally into Kirstein.” Petra told you. You enjoyed talking to her, she’s really nice.

“Shut up, Petra, or else I’ll have to tell you how you look when Capt...”

“Got it!” she interrupted you and you both laughed. It was a quiet afternoon, and you two where sitting on the lake. “I think you should go for him.” she said.

“He isn’t into me.” you answered. “He likes Mikasa.” Petra looked to the lake.

“Who knows, maybe he does feel the same...”

Petra is really positive, unless you talk about her. Then, she says she has zero opportunities.But, you didn’t want to break your special bond with Jean. That’s why you tried to keep things in a friendship, ignoring your feelings for so long.

“It was fine, yep.” you say. “But I’m hungry.” Your belly confirmes it. He lets out a little laugh.

“Let’s go and eat something first, then.” You smile and, letting go his arm, you tangle your fingers with his, walking with his hand on yours. He blushes a bit. “By the way, tonight we have free time. Do you want to hang?” Today, the Captains of the Squads gave you all free time, celebrating that you all survived another expedition yesterday.

“Sure.” you pull him softly, his hand caressing yours in an unconscious way while you two walk towards the cantina.

❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁

You feel the cold wind against your skin and wet hair while you walk to the encounter point you agreed with Jean earlier. You found Annie walking back to the dorms.

You and Annie haven’t talked that much, specially since her introverted nature finds your outgoing one terrible.

“Hi, Annie.” you say. She looks at you.

“If you’re searching Jean, he’s talking with Mikasa near Eren’s dorm. Just in case.” She speaks. You maybe looked concerned or down, because she looked at you for a long time. “You know you don’t have opportunities with him, right? He’s not the type of boy to fall in love with.” She says. You look at her back, kinda confused of the words she just said. “He thought he liked you, I’m sure he was confused. But then he realized you look so much like Mikasa, so he just likes the way you look like her. Never thought of it?”

“I do not look like her.” You say.

“The same black hair that Jean loves. That’s enough for him to remind of her every time he looks at you. She’s out of his league, but maybe you...” Maybe she’s right. After all, he loves Mikasa’s black long hair. She cut it, you still have long hair. But, is all of this the truth?

“Y/N!” Jean calls you from the place you accorded. Annie waves her hand before disappearing, going back to her dorm.

You walk towards Jean without your usual clingy ways. You walk silently, the sweater hugging your body and your gaze low. Jean is aware of your change of attitude. He gets concerned. What did he do to upset you? Maybe you don’t want to see him again. “Are you okay?” he asks, once you’ve reached him. You nod and fake a smile.

“Annie told me you were talking to Mikasa, so I decided to wait there. I didn’t want to bother.”

“You should had call me, dummy!” he says, colliding his shoulders with yours, playing. “You never bother me, y/n.”

His hazel eyes search any type of reaction on yours, but he only gets your gaze on the floor again. He stops walking and turns you to face him. “Hey, it’s everything okay?” He asks. He has lowered his voice and his tone is way more concerned. You don’t know if his kindness makes you feel good or bad. “Y/N?” He asks again. He just needs to know you’re fine, he needs to hear that nothing happened to you. Maybe, he thinks, you’re just upset with him for some reason he can’t think of.

“I’m fine.” You’re not. You’ve been binge thinking about what Annie said to you, and you ended believing that maybe that’s true. That you’re just a Mikasa impostor on his heart.

“You’re not fine.” He says. Your skin feels electricity when he holds your hand, trying to avoid you from walking away. He searches your eyes once more, but now, they’re full of tears. His eyebrows move in a worrying expression. “What happened?” He asks. His tone is now sweet, trying to calm you.

“Well, now I know why you always pat my hair.” you say. At the end, the logic Annie followed is totally right, at least in your brain. “It is like touching Mikasa’s, right?”

His expression is now extremely confused. What are you doing bringing up Mikasa in a conversation that has nothing to do with her?

“Mikasa’s?” he asks. You wipe your tears with your hand quickly.

“You liked her when she entered, so probably you keep liking her. And my hair looks exactly like hers. Are you using me?” You ask. Your brain thought all of this in one second, this was kinda messy and you don’t know exactly what is happening. Jean is as confused as you are, he doesn’t know how he made a mistake like that. Make you think he’s in love with Mikasa when he’s in love with you.

“Listen, Y/N...” he says. This wasn’t the confession scenario he built up in his head, but he needs to clarify things now, before this weird conversation ends with you two ending your friendship. "I did like Mikasa. I liked her when we entered, yes. But it was just a platonic love. We're friends. The point here..."

"I'm your best friend, Jean." you say. "You can tell me if you like her, I'll be okay with that. I gave up on you on any way."

He looks surprised. You liked him? You liked him all this time? As he liked you?

“What?” he asks. “Gave up?”

“I liked you, Jean Kirstein. A lot. My heart was out of my fucking chest every time you hugged me and I couldn’t think straight if your body was behind mine. But you were probably thinking about Mikasa and how beautiful she is...”

“No.” his face is serious when he looks at you. Both of his hands go to your cheeks, taking with his thumbs a couple tears that run fast down to your chin. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” he says. Your teary eyes look at his, searching a joke or something like that, but his eyes are more serious than ever. “I knew it was maybe a one-sided love, because I thought you’ll never be interested in me. Every time you acted clingy, my heart was about to explode of happiness. I feel so good when you’re around me, y/n...” he passes one lock of your hair behind your ear. “I knew i was in love because I didn’t care it was one-sided, if you were happy, I was happy. That’s why I got so concerned today. Even knowing maybe it was my fault, I couldn’t see you looking sad. I couldn’t. Because I’m still so madly in love with you, I care about you and your well.being so much that I felt the pain of your eyes myself. Sorry for making you feel that way.”

There’s now a silence between you. Jean is probably giving you space to understand all he said, and your brain is having an emergency reunion. He does like you, and you’re still so in love with him... After all, all that happened was because a misunderstanding from you. You feel so silly now...

“Sorry.” you say. “I misunderstood things.”

“But that’s because I never told you clearly what I felt.”

“It’s all my fault.” you try to convince him that he’s wrong, that you were the one confused. “Now I probably lost all the opportunities to be with you and also our friendship.”

“Don’t be that drama queen, dummy.” he says, his voice a low whisper. “I think we just need to honestly tell each other what do we feel now.” He says.

Telling the other? Telling what?

“I’ll start, then.” he says, “I fell in love with my clingy best friend and I’m still so in love I wouldn’t mind dating her.”

His words made your heart beat faster. After all, where you hiding feelings that were probably reciprocate?

Probably.

“Come on, don’t be shy!” He laughs sweetly when he sees your blushed cheeks. His thumb makes soft circles on them. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this now, but you’re so fucking pretty...” his gaze gets lost in your face, admiring every single part of it.

“I also still love you, but don’t let your ego raise.” he laughs and so you do. Now, you can look at his face freely, how his hazel eyes have such an intense gaze...

“So, now that this is arranged, why don’t we act as if this never happened and you let me confess in a proper way, hm?”

“Sounds great.”

#aot fluff #aot x reader #snk fluff #snk x reader #snk fic #aot fic #aot scenario #snk headcanons #aot fanfiction #aot #snk jean #jean aot #jean x you #jean kirschtien #jean kirstein #jean x reader #jean kirschstein #jean attack on titan

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quicksilversquared · 4 years

Text

Superhero Salary

It all started with a joke. It ended with Ladybug and Chat Noir finally getting some of the compensation that they deserved.

After all, fame isn't going to pay the bills.

links in the reblog

It all started with a (mostly) joking comment from Chat Noir, blurted out in a moment of frustration.

"I hate it when that happens," he had grumbled after Ladybug knocked him free from the akuma's control. "Stupid, stupid mind-control akumas. Tell Hawkmoth that if he's going to insist on akumas like that, he's gonna have to pay for my therapy after this is all over!" he hollered after the akuma, who was clearly hopping mad about no longer having a superhero under his control. "A superhero salary doesn't exactly pay enough for it!"

He had been kidding, at least mostly. Kidding or not, though, the complaint was out there.

The moment had been picked up by the Ladyblog, of course, just as part of the bigger fight. But it wasn't long before it absolutely exploded over the internet.

Sure, maybe in comic books it was implied that superheroes always worked for free. But was that really fair? After all, Ladybug and Chat Noir were providing a service to the city. They were taking the time out of their normal lives to save Paris and put things back to rights, and they were doing it often. They had to come out whenever Hawkmoth sent out an akuma, not just when they had a spare bit of time that they could use to fight crime. Just like policemen and firefighters, they were putting themselves in danger by fighting on the front line. And if they were in jobs, or were in school- well, having to duck out regularly had to be affecting them, and not in a positive way.

If they had jobs, they could very well be on the edge of losing them because of all of the times they went missing. Even if they were self-employed- well, then they would still be losing out on some serious work time and having to work late into the night instead. And if they were in school...

Then they would be in danger of falling behind and need help to keep on top of their schoolwork. Tutors and online courses both cost money.

And on top of all of that, there was superhero merchandise being made using their colors and images, clothes and dolls and souvenirs and toys. Surely they should be getting a cut of the profit from that.

With only a few exceptions, Paris was soon in agreement: their superheroes needed to be earning a salary.

Marinette wasn't quite certain what to think of it all.

"Tikki, what do I say if the mayor decides to give us a salary?" she implored, slumping back in her chair. "I mean, even if it would be possible to safely get the money, I just don't know."

Part of her wanted to do the noble thing and say no to a salary. After all, she was Ladybug because she wanted to help! Plus, would public perception of them change if they were technically city employees? The mayor might think that he had the power to call them up on command, which would really stink.

But- well, Marinette was a teenager, and no sane teenager would turn down money, particularly when it was money for work that she had done. Even though she wasn't exactly struggling- she got an allowance, plus money from babysitting Manon and of course commission money, and besides she was a teenager and not an adult with a million living expenses- having more money in her account for fabric or design classes or her future career wasn't a bad thing.

"Well, Plagg and I could certainly set things up so that all of the money you get would be funneled through us and our magic," Tikki told her. "And we would be careful about not matching up the amounts or making them regular! There's ways that we can do it without attracting attention."

Marinette nodded. That was one question answered, but the other?

"As for if you should take the money..." Tikki considered that. "I mean, there's a lot to consider. But I'd like to point out that you don't know how long you'll be fighting Hawkmoth, or if there'll be any other threats after he's gone to deal with. That could interfere with you having a regular job. And if the akuma attacks keep disrupting your school day and you need to hire a tutor to help you keep up but you don't want your parents knowing, having the extra money could help. Or if you decide to sign up for an online school so that you can look up lessons that you missed in class, you could pay for that! But people might have strong opinions about superheroes taking money, too."

"That's a lot of positives and only one negative," Marinette pointed out. "I mean, it could be annoying to listen to people judging, but unless they're in the majority..."

Either way, it was going to be disheartening to hear people judging her for taking the money. But as long as they weren't in her face or spreading lies about her and Chat Noir now not being motivated to take down Hawkmoth because that would mean an end to the money or something ridiculous like that, she could probably ignore it. Maybe she could make some donations with the money she was getting to dispel those rumors.

Honestly, she'd probably do that anyway. There were so many organizations and people in need in Paris, and if Marinette was earning money then of course she would want to support them.

Of course, that all depended on if the officials even offered the salary in the first place, which was honestly looking really likely. It looked like public opinion was strongly in their favor, and the mayor was seriously easily waived by public opinion most of the time. And anything to do with the superheroes- well, it was publicity gold.

And in the end, it only took a week of deliberations- entirely about how much Ladybug and Chat Noir should be making, and puzzling out how much of the profit from sales of their merchandise they should be getting on top of their salary- before the announcement went out that the superheroes would be offered payment. A day after that, Ladybug and Chat Noir accepted their salary and gave the city's head payroll officer the information their kwamis had given them for the kwami bank accounts, so that they could get their paychecks without risking their secret identities.

"I didn't expect things to blow up like this when I said that, about not earning enough for therapy," Chat Noir admitted after they had left. He had seemed put-together and confident when they were in the office- which Ladybug had appreciated, because the sums that were being discussed were absolutely intimidating and having Chat Noir being so confident next to her helped her not get flustered. "I mean, yeah, down the road, I wouldn't be surprised if I get nightmares about fighting all the time and need to get help with that, but- well, I don't think I'd be able to, not unless I sign up as Chat Noir instead of my civilian self. And I don't know if I would necessarily want to do that, in case too much civilian stuff comes out."

Ladybug winced. Yeah, that was a real concern. And- well, she didn't ever admit it to anyone other than Tikki, but she sometimes had nightmares about the fights, too. And Chat Noir was right- a therapist could probably help.

But the identity concerns...

It was more than likely that some personal information would come out if they were talking to any sort of therapist, and that was dangerous. Maybe the chance of their therapists stumbling on their identities was low, but she still couldn't risk it.

Maybe they could go out of Paris to find someone, using the Horse to jump. Then their therapist would be even less likely to make the connection between Ladybug and Marinette, and with the distance from Paris, having the superheroes in their office might be less exciting than it would be for someone who saw the superheroes on a daily basis. But even that wouldn't really be a possibility until Hawkmoth was gone, when they actually got some semblance of free time back.

"I can't deny that the money could be helpful, though," Chat Noir added after a moment. "I mean, depending on how long the conflict drags on, or if we need anything that Tikki and Plagg can't provide to help us, or- well, when I get old enough to move out of my father's place, I want to. There's way too many people who think that they can just barge into my room without warning and poke around, and- well, it's not safe."

Ladybug glanced over at her partner again. He looked like he was her age- in fact, they had shared enough information inadvertently that she was positive that they were probably a year apart at most- which meant that he was facing years of people disregarding his privacy and potentially discovering his secret. "That's ages away, though."

"I know. I can't do much about it right now, though, besides just paying attention to where I'm detransforming." Chat Noir sighed. "I guess the money can't really help with that, not right now."

"Yeah. And that's not great." Ladybug tapped a rhythm against her leg, trying to come up with a solution and finding none. She just didn't have enough information about the situation to find places where they could do something. "I mean, the most I can come up with is a camera that you could connect to and move around to see if anyone is in there before going back in. And you could see if anyone is coming around and poking around that you don't know about. But- well, the problem is that cameras can be hard to hide, and if your father finds out and decides to review footage..."

"It could backfire on me, really fast." Chat Noir glanced around, then back at her. "Yeah, I know. I guess- well, for now, I won't change anything. Maybe something will come up in the future."

"Yeah, I'm not going to be changing much either, I think. But it's nice to have that money there in case I need it." It made her feel a little weird, honestly- after over a year of volunteer superheroing, accepting money for that was just strange- but maybe eventually, it would sink in that she was doing a job and deserved pay for it.

Chat Noir nodded. "Just in case. And, well- if we don't use it, it'll be a good start for my retirement account!"

Ladybug laughed at that, the awkwardness and concerns that she had had earlier flying away in an instant. "Teenagers with retirement accounts. Who would have thought?"

"Well, you can never be too prepared, right?"

Ladybug giggled again, imaging the looks on her parents' places if she sat down for dinner and started asking questions about retirement accounts and for their advice in setting one up. Maybe it wouldn't be completely out of left field- after all, unlike most of her classmates, Marinette did earn money with commissions, and enough that she would not be spending it all- but it was also a strange thing for a teenager to ask about.

Well. At least it wasn't a bad problem to have.

A week later, Ladybug and Chat Noir officially received their first paychecks, with back payments pending. And by that time, the two of them had figured out where those payments were going.

Most of the money, of course, would be held in the kwami bank accounts until it could be trickled into their civilian bank accounts. How much, exactly, could be deposited without being noticed was still being decided- Ladybug could definitely get away with more than Chat Noir, though she figured that varying amounts and not at regular intervals would stick out less than regular payments. They were still trying to figure out how they might get retirement accounts going- even as much as they joked, it wasn't exactly a bad idea.

And then part of the money would go to charity. It was just a nice thing to do, after all, and since they had spare money- well, it would just be a good idea to help out a little bit more. They didn't want to make too big of a deal out of their donations, since it was very possible that people would judge where they were donating, how much they were donating, how often they were making their donations, and how their donations did or didn't change over time. There would no doubt be people petitioning the superheroes to support their favorite charities, which- well, maybe it would be a good way to learn about new causes, but it sounded like more stress than it would be worth. Besides, Ladybug and Chat Noir were private citizens behind the mask, and they deserved to have some privacy about their finances.

All they needed to tell the public was that they were donating anonymously and wouldn't be disclosing the places or amounts for those reasons. It was a simple answer, and should satisfy most of the population. There would no doubt be a few naysayers- there almost always were a few people who just had to be difficult- but it was a reasonable answer.

Thankfully, the person who had interviewed Ladybug and Chat Noir about what they were going to do with their first paychecks- a kind man from a mid-sized newspaper, who had earned the spot of first interview entirely because he hadn't been pushy about asking- had thought that their reasoning was plenty sound. They were hardly going to be millionaires, and so expecting them to donate large amounts on a regular (and frequent) basis was completely ridiculous. Keeping things private- well, that meant that people who were out of touch wouldn't be moaning about donations that they were perceiving as too small.

Just because Ladybug and Chat Noir were famous didn't mean that they were rich.

Marinette hummed quietly to herself as she skimmed the article that the reporter they had talked to had written. While the interview itself had taken place several days prior, the article had just been released that morning to coincide with both their first payment and the start of the month. It was very nicely written, and framed their reasoning in an even more clear and articulate light than they had managed themselves. She didn't doubt that it would get noticed soon, and then the speculation about whether or not Ladybug and Chat Noir would donate some of their earnings would be put to rest for once and for all-

"Wait, Ladybug and Chat Noir aren't donating any of their salary? That's so unlike them!"

-or maybe not.

"I was surprised too, they just completely brushed me off when I suggested that they donate part of their salaries," Lila told her audience as they swept into the room as a- well, as a flock, really, that was the only way to describe it. "It's what I would do if I was a superhero, of course, so I thought that they would feel the same! It's such a let-down, I really thought that they were better than that..."

"I would say that maybe it's because they've donated so much of their time to the city already, but I know I heard something at some point about backpayments to cover their time from the start," Alya commented, her eyebrows furrowed. "So that's not really donated time anymore, is it?"

"Maybe they have bills to pay," Rose piped up, clearly ever-hopeful. "And they need to get caught up with that first, of course. That would make sense!"

Of course, Lila was shaking her head as she headed up to her seat, with the rest of the group following not far behind to keep listening. "They're too young for bills. I met up with them again this morning and was trying to talk some sense into them because really, they could just do small donations, even a little bit helps- I would know, I've seen how far money can stretch and help in a charity! But even now that they have the money in their hands, they just want to keep it."

There were murmurs of disappointment all around the group gathered around Lila at that. Even though donations clearly weren't mandatory- well, they thought that the superheroes should be better role models than that! If they didn't have bills to pay, surely...

"And it's not like they're not getting enough to have both spending money and do a little charity," Lila said, shaking her head sadly. "Plenty of spending money, even! And I pointed that out, but they got really upset with me. I'd hate for our friendship to be destroyed over this really, but it's just- I feel like I don't know them at all now!"

Frankly, Marinette had heard enough. She wasn't going to let her reputation as Ladybug- or Chat Noir's reputation- get slandered by Lila's nonsense.

"Funny thing," Marinette commented in the most deadpan, disinterested voice that she could muster, not even taking her eyes off of her tablet as she talked. "You say that you met up with the superheroes this morning and they weren't interested in doing donations, and yet there's an article in La Trib this morning about an interview they did with the superheroes days ago that say otherwise. It says that donating was in their plan from the start."

The group in the back of the room went quiet.

"Marinette is correct," Markov commented after a moment, breaking the silence. "The article was posted one hour ago, though the paper copy presumably went out earlier. The superheroes stated that they have been looking at charities since they first heard that they might be getting money for their superhero work, as they wish to continue to help Paris. Their donations will be anonymous and private to protect their privacy and to prevent unwanted commentary on their choices."

Marinette glanced back. All eyes were slowly turning from Markov to Lila.

"There is also a video of the interview linked on the online version of the article," Markov added. "And the metadata confirms that it was filmed several days ago."

Several of the eyes pointed towards Lila were getting narrowed and suspicious.

"Oh, that- that's lovely!" Lila exclaimed, somewhat belatedly pressing her hand over her heart. "Maybe they were just trying to wind me up to tease me, then! And I misread the situation and took them seriously. Or they were trying to give me a pleasant surprise! It happens, sometimes- I'm not always great at catching sarcasm-"

This time, not everyone looked entirely convinced.

Smiling to herself, Marinette looked back at her tablet, closing out of the article and opening up their reading for Literature so that she could review it- or, well, finish reading it, because an akuma had interrupted her the previous night and it had been too late to pick it up again once the fight was over. If she hurried, she might be able to finish it before Ms. Bustier called for a start to class, and then she wouldn't get in trouble again for not doing her homework.

Honestly, if Lila's track record was anything to go by, she would probably wriggle her way out of the lie by the afternoon and the whole incident would be forgotten. But maybe this time would end up different- after all, Marinette had never seen that doubt before- and Lila's tower of lies would finally come toppling down. It was long overdue, really, but Marinette wasn't going to hold her breath.

If it happened...well, if their superhero salary was like a surprise cake, then a Lila downfall would be the cherry on top.

#Miraculous Ladybug #my writing #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #superhero retirement fund

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fandom-monium · 3 years

Text

For the Holidays - Part 2

Summary: In which Spencer doesn’t want to go to his high school reunion, but you tagging along changes things. “It’ll be nice... having a friend there.”

WC: 1.8k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fake-dating trope, pining (so much pining), insecure and in-denial Spencer, light cursing, (tbh with all the shit that happens in CM they should be cussing way more)

Spencer doesn’t text you. But he’s tried.

First thing he got home, he tossed his bag aside and ripped off his blazer before he threw himself on the couch, digging through his pockets for his phone. Screw reading, taxes, dinner. There are more important things at stake here.

But he’s been sitting there for an hour, glaring at the empty text box with disdain, willing for words to appear.

No such luck.

Spencer writes essays and academic journals in an hour but formulating a simple text? He curses the universe for only making him academically gifted.

He runs a hand through his hair. Maybe he should call? No, you said text. And he doesn’t trust himself enough to have a verbal conversation with you. He will get tongue-tied.

Shit, what does he even say?

It’s not entirely his fault, alright? He’s never been put in a position like this before, except when he goes undercover. And even then everything is planned for him with little contribution on his part⎼he makes small edits to better fit the profiles but that’s about it. All he has to do is scan the file once and in seconds he has his fake identity, his fake backstory, and whatever fake details make up his fake life.

But this. This is different. He has to be brave because it’s you, and he has to chill out because this is supposed to be fake, he reminds himself. Both are tasks within themselves. And yeah, he’s a genius but as Albert Einstein once said, knowledge has its limits.

Shit, his thoughts are so jumbled he can’t even quote properly. This is all your fault.

You.

He still has to text you.

Spencer groans and flops on the couch, the phone clattering to the floor. He doesn’t bother, laying there until there’s an imprint of his butt in the cushions. He stares at the ceiling.

He remembers that you were the one to say yes. He hadn’t directly asked you but you agreed anyway, which means you are willing to spend time with him. Which means you like him (enough). Which means you are friends, and friends help friends out when they are in trouble.

Like needing a fake date.

He rolls onto his stomach, lips pursed as he stares over the edge of the couch. His phone glints in the lamp light.

Just friends helping each other out. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Spencer takes a deep breath and picks up the phone.

He can do this.

⎼

He can’t do this.

“I’m so excited,” Next to Spencer, you nestle into the seat and adjust the fuzzy blanket over your lap, eyes gleaming. “It’ll be nice to see where you grew up.”

Spencer only offers you a tight smile. His eyes dart about as the other passengers settle in, switching seats and fiddling luggage into the overhead compartments. Some of them already requesting for airplane food. Who in their right mind actually wants airplane food?

Spencer really wants to be as excited as you, and he is; he finally gets to spend some time with you outside of work, without the rest of the team hovering (waiting for one of you to make a damn move). It’s almost nice.

If only he can enjoy himself.

His knee bounces nonstop. Against the armrest his fingers tap a rhythm matching the thrum of his heart. And his hair is even more wild having run his hands through it repeatedly before meeting up with you.

He isn’t used to this, being alone with you. Sure, you partner up at work, in cases⎼hell, you've even accompanied each other to a few events. But those were as friends.

Technically, you’re his date. His romantic partner.

Spencer’s never let himself delve deep into his fantasies; he’s imagined (more times than he’d like to admit) taking you on dates to your favorite places, you in his arms, him in your arms⎼you know, minus the imminent danger. All the sweet things that couples do. But they always seemed out of reach. So he’d cut them off, squash the ideas before they went any further. False hope only hurts if you give in.

But now you’re on a plane, rocking in your seat as you hum to yourself, genuinely thrilled at the prospect of seeing his hometown.

This is more than he’s ever imagined. He feels like his heart’s about to burst.

Someone needs to call the bomb squad, real quick.

“Reid.”

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?" You're looking at him, voice drenched in so much concern his stomach twists. He made you worry. He feels guilty.

“Yeah-uh-” He clears his throat, attempting a smile. It’s a sad parody of the real thing. ”I'm fine.“

You raise an eyebrow and scoff, "Okay, I think I know why you're being weird. At least, weirder than usual."

Spencer’s heart drops. He leans back as you lean across your shared armrest, catching the sympathy in your eyes. He stiffens, bracing himself for the rejection. He should have known sooner or later you’d notice his not-so-friendly affections towards you. Of course you did, he isn’t exactly subtle; all the lunches, the museum tours, the stars in his eyes when you wrestle down unsubs⎼

"You’re nervous about seeing your old classmates again."

⎼Or, he’s much better at hiding it than he thought.

Spencer can only watch in awe as you continue, “And it’s totally natural. I mean, I haven’t been to a reunion, but I’d feel weird too if I got to see my classmates after all these years. But have no fear, (Your Name) is here.” You cringe, suddenly abashed. “Unless I’m completely off the mark and now you regret bringing me along. Oh no, that’s it, isn’t? You’re uncomfortable with the whole couples act.”

Spencer shakes his head, and for the first time since take off, he chuckles, “What? No, I’m happy that you’re here. And I couldn't think of anyone better to play my partner.” A relieved smile from you and he shrugs, feigning nonchalance. He fiddles with his sleeve. “But yeah, you got me. I am nervous.”

Which isn’t exactly a lie. You're here, next to him. That's more than enough reason to be.

If he had to be honest, between you and organizing the trip, he almost forgot about the reunion. Then again, he never liked reflecting on his high school years. For obvious reasons.

But your perception is a bucket of ice water over his head. Now he’s wide awake.

You’re doing this because you’re friends. You just want to help.

Friendship never hurt so much.

“I didn’t mention it before, but I’m sure you’re aware I wasn’t exactly the most popular kid in school, being 6 years younger and all,” Spencer swallows the ache. You nod in understanding.

Bright, brown eyes meet yours. He bites his lip. “So, I appreciate you coming with me. It’ll be nice... having a friend there.”

A split second.

Spencer glances away as he says 'friend'. The word leaves such a bittersweet taste he has to hold back a grimace, look anywhere else but you. The word just doesn’t sit right with him.

If he hadn’t looked away, he would have caught the way your smile dropped.

You nearly forgot, though you’re on holiday, this is a mission of sorts. This isn’t about you or how you feel. This is about Spencer. You berate yourself, remembering you're not a teenager anymore; you're a fucking adult and mature adults don't squee at their coworkers.

No matter how cute and adorable they are.

“Of course,” You plaster on a smile and finger the edge of your blanket, unintentionally mirroring him. "Your welcome."

Spencer gives you that white-person smile you love so much. You have to bite back a laugh.

To distract yourself, you pull out your phone and open the Chess app, holding it out to him. "Now, how about that rematch?"

Spencer's face lights up like a Christmas tree.

And as you immerse yourselves into another close match, you feel your confidence grow with every move, chuckling as Reid grumbles about you cheating (you’re not, he’s just a sore loser). You’re an FBI agent, for fuck’s sake. You played spouse and romantic partners for weeks, months. A weekend is nothing.

You can manage playing pretend with a coworker. Just operate like this is any other undercover assignment.

You can pretend you’re in love with Spencer Reid. You can handle it.

You can handle it.

⎼

You can’t handle it.

As one would expect, it’s hard to not fall in love with Spencer Reid. Just as it’s hard not to show it.

It feels like only yesterday the lanky man quite literally stumbled his way into your world and you decided, ‘Him. I will protect him with my life.’ And while you’d totally do that for anyone on the team, with Reid, it hits different.

After you landed in Las Vegas, you had a couple hours to kill before the reunion started, and as the good friend and partner you are, you suggested he show you all the places he frequented when he was little. For research, of course. After all, you’re playing his partner, so the more you know the better.

It’s definitely not because you’re invested in his life. Because that would be unprofessional.

(The way he beamed at you was totally worth it though.)

Then one step in the direction of his favorite eatery and he slipped on a patch of ice. You caught him in time, but the way he looked at you, brown eyes wide and filled with awe, made you feel things you shouldn't feel for a coworker.

It only snowballed from there. Everything about him is just so… endearing.

But you’re at your limit.

Love and affection threatens to spill out of you. Your hands flex in your coat pockets, itching to grab Spencer’s pretty face. Even your chest aches from your heart having swollen twice its size. You feel like you’re about to explode.

This might be the most difficult mission you’ve ever worked.

But this is it, you realize as you stand in front of the closed auditorium doors. This is the final lap. Where everything you’ve practiced really matters. You just have to keep up the charade for a few hours, then you won’t have to struggle to fight back the hearts in your eyes.

Although, your clothes fit tighter than you remember and you’re trembling. Why the fuck are you trembling?

Next to you Spencer eyes the double doors, almost like he’s daunted by them.

Multi-colored lights filter into the dark hallway, silhouettes flickering and shifting from the crack under the door as cheery holiday music faintly streams from behind them, accompanied by shouts and laughter. From his old classmates. Who are most likely making jokes at his expense.

Spencer already wants to go home.

“Ready, Doc?” As if sensing his hesitation, you offer a smile and an arm to him. Your eyes gleam with resolve. It’s more than enough for the both of you.

You can do this.

A deep breath, he slips his arm into yours. “Yep.”

He can do this.

Together, you open the doors.

AN: 2/4??

note: don’t expect part 3 to come out as quick. it’ll contain panic/anxiety descriptions and id like to take my time to write it best :))) i hope you enjoyed the last bit of happiness for a while :))))

also i apologize that i havent gotten to all the requests!! the ones posted on my masterlist are the ones currently being dealt with, but i’ll get through them eventually thx for the patience :D

i remember seeing a post ab Hotch x Prentiss and I didn’t get it but watching CM over again

i get it i so get it. when theyve both gone to each other’s homes? *tears up*

and my hate for seaver has been reinforced :)))))

#spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x original female character #spencer reid x oc #mgg x reader #mgg x y/n #matthew gray gubler x oc #matthew gray gubler imagine #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid

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whumperscorner · 3 years

Note

Ahh your "Strapped to a bomb" fic was so good, thank you for using my request! Would it be alright if I request another? I really enjoy your writing, it really hits the whumpy spot hehe! If it's okay can I request "Rope Burns" with Prompto and dad Cor and/or PromptoxNoctis.

aaah thank you anon! I'm so glad you enjoyed :D Now, I don't actually have "Rope Burns" on my bingo card, maybe it's possible you've looked at a different card before requesting? That's no biggie though, and I do love the prompt, so I've decided to try to combine it a bit with whumptober :3

Hope this one's still enjoyable <3

Whumptober 2021 day 1.- Bound

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Characters: Prompto Argentum, Noctis Lucis Caelum

Whumpee: Prompto Argentum

Word count: 2444

Warnings: restraints and manhandling, slight descriptions of injury

Prompto doesn't really mind working late shifts. Sure, it can be a bit spooky sometimes, especially closing up alone like today. The gas station he works at isn't exactly in the city's most reputable neighbourhood, so the late shifts always bring with them their fair share of 'eccentric' customers. On the other hand, they're also never as busy as the day shifts, and Prompto has never experienced anything actually threatening or dangerous in his time working here. So really, the biggest problem with the closing shifts is the effect they have on his sleep schedule.

This evening's shift goes about as usual. There are a few regular customers early in the evening who Prompto chats with for a bit, then he restocks some shelves and does some cleaning up in the back. At one point there's an odd-looking man in the store who doesn't end up buying anything, just walks around the between the shelves and mutters to himself. Prompto leaves it be, he knows better than to ask or intervene unless he has to. The night rolls by with few notable occurrences, and with just over an hour left before closing time now Prompto doesn't have a lot to do. He texts back and forth with Noctis in the downtime, and the two makes plans to meet up after Prom's shift is done and hang out. It's Friday after all, and Noct has gotten a welcome break from his duties as Prince, so they deserve to have some fun now. Prompto smiles at his screen, having just sent a thumb's up to Noct's suggestion to go watch a late night showing of a movie, when the sound of the door opening and closing catches his attention. He quickly puts the phone away and begins talking entirely from habit as he looks up to meet the customer.

"Welcome, what can I-" then he stops. What meets him when he looks towards the entrance, only a few feet away, is the barrel of a gun trained directly at him. Prompto's words get stuck in his throat, and he makes a small, choked gasp instead as his eyes widen. The first thing he notices is the gun and it takes him a second to take in the men standing there too. There are two of them, the one holding the gun and one other, both wearing masks and both carrying big duffel bags. Prompto's eyes flicker between the men for one terrifying moment where nothing happens, then it's as if his body is on autopilot. He rushes to the side of the counter where he knows the emergency button is located, no thoughts in his head except that he needs to alert someone. A gunshot rings out, and Prompto feels something whizz by in front of him. One of the shelves on the wall behind the counter crumbles, sending various snacks flying everywhere. Prompto stops dead in his tracks. The adrenaline previously coursing through him is gone now.

"Do as I say if you want to live." says the man holding the gun. His voice is somewhat muffled by the mask, but it still sends shivers run down Prompto's spine. He manages a slight nod and stands as still as he can as the two men approach. "Step out here." is the next order, accompanied by a quick gesture with the gun. "Hands up. No sudden movements."

Prompto obeys. What other choice does he have? His hands are trembling when he brings them up, and he has to force himself to move out from behind the counter and closer to the men. It's like his body doesn't want to move and blood rushes in his ears, making the whole situation feel surreal. When he finally stops the man with the gun nods quickly towards his accomplice, who rushes forward and closes the remaining distance between Prompto and the assailants. He throws the duffel bag onto the ground, where it lands with a heavy *thud*. Prompto gets no time to wonder what's in it though, as the man quickly grabs one of his wrists in an iron hold and wrestles him down to the floor. Prompto groans at the rough handling, and desperately tries to squirm into a more comfortable position. However, that only results in the man grabbing his hair harshly and tugging his head back.

"Stay fucking quiet." He hisses through Prompto's pained cry. Prompto whimpers out a weak apology, and when the man lets go of his hair he doesn't struggle anymore. Not even when the masked assailant reaches for the duffel bag and begins rummaging in it, pinning Prom down with a knee uncomfortably placed between his shoulder blades. It would be easier to wriggle free now, but one look up at the other man and then gun still trained on him makes Prompto quickly abandon that thought. The man holding him seems to have found what he's looking for in the bag and before Prompto can even begin to wonder about it he feels his hands being tugged in place behind his back and coarse rope tied around them. Prompto yelps at the feeling but doesn't dare struggle too much. There's laughter from behind him, though he can't tell which of the men it's from, possibly both. In any case he can feel the bindings on his hands being tightened maybe just a little too much, and he winces. This time it's definitely the one holding him the laughter comes from.

"Oh, did that hurt doll? Sorry, I'll make it better." He says, in a sort of mocking polite tone. Another strip of the rope is added just above the one already around his wrists and this one, to Prompto's horror, is tightened even harder. It forces Prompto's shoulders into a slightly weird position and comes dangerously close to cutting off circulation in his hands. Then the man turns him over, so he lies on his back on the floor instead of on his stomach. Prompto can't hold back the pained noises when the new position pulls on his bound hands.

"Don't overdo it now." says the other man, but he too chuckles at Prompto's hopeless expression. He turns back to what he was doing before, which Prompto now sees is seemingly emptying the cash register of anything and everything in it. Prompto's heart sinks, and he's just beginning to think this evening has reached it's all time low when the man pauses. "But gag him too, just to be sure." He adds, and Prompto can almost hear the wicked smile behind the mask.

He sends the man sitting over him a pleading look, though he knows it will be futile. And soon enough a filthy rag from the duffel bag has been balled up and forced into his mouth. The smell from it alone makes Prompto want to gag. He tries a couple times to spit it out, only for that to earn him a harsh slap and an order not to do that. Then the man stands up, leaving Prompto bound on the floor as he himself joins the other man in looting whatever items of even marginal value may be in the store. Prompto stays still in his uncomfortable position as they move about around him, not daring to move. All through this some small part of Prompto has been hoping that someone would appear to intervene, or would notice the disturbance and call for help, but now the reality of the situation is settling in. And the uncomfortable reality is that if no one has come running at this point then it's likely no one will. Gunshots in this area aren't a rarity, and Prompto is beginning to suspect that even if he had reached the emergency button the police wouldn't have come. The hopelessness of it all settles heavily in his stomach.

Prompto doesn't know how long he lays still there, but eventually the pull on his shoulders and the rope digging into the skin around his wrists gets too bad. With considerable effort he begins turning himself over on the side, to a position that is hopefully less straining. The movement catches the attention of one of the men though, the one carrying the gun, and he strides over. Prompto can see a dangerous twinkle in his eyes through the holes in the mask. Correctly guessing that that cannot mean anything good, Prompto keeps squirming and kicks his feet on the floor in an attempt to scurry away. He wants as much distance between himself and the man as possible. The man cackles at this and crouches down on the floor, where he quickly grabs hold of one of Prompto's flailing legs and drags him back. His tightly bound hands scraping against the tile floor makes pain flare up beneath Prompto, and he whines desperately into the gag.

When Prompto is deemed to be close enough the man lets go of his legs, and before he gets the chance to try anything again the man leans over him and tightens a strong hand around his chin. Prompto's eyes are wide and fearful now when the man's fingers are digging into his face with bruising force. "Didn't I tell you not to move around?" He all but spits in Prompto's face. Prompto makes no motion in reply. He only shuts his eyes tightly in pain when the man suddenly yanks his head up uncomfortably, only to slam it back down into the floor. Pain explodes from the back of Prompto's head, and he cries out into the gag. The man yanks him back up again, this time by his shirt, and Prompto follows limply. Just then, as Prompto sits half upright in the man's grip waiting for the inevitable pain, the unmistakeable sound of the door opening and closing stops everyone in their tracks.

There, by the door, is Noctis. The realization hits Prompto that his shift must've ended. Noct has come here for him, and relief fills his chest to the brim. At the sight that meets him Noct has also stopped dead in his tracks. With wide eyes he looks from Prompto on the floor to the man holding him and then back again. Then Prompto yells into the gag and wrenches himself out of the man's grip, and it's like the standstill in the room is broken. In the ensuing chaos Prompto just barely has time to see sparks beginning to fly around Noct's hand as he's about to pull something out of the armiger. The man then quickly grabs hold of Prompto again and jams the butt of the gun hard into the side of his head. He's then harshly shoved to the side as the man springs into action, and lands painfully on the hard floor. Black spots dance around the edges of his vision from the pistol-whip and though he tries he doesn't have the strength to sit up again.

He can't see clearly what's going on, only blurred bodies and sparks. Then a gunshot rings out, and another one, and then an enraged yell from one of the men. Worry seeps into Prompto's confused mind, and the longer the scuffle goes on the more it grows. He wants Noctis to be okay, he wants them both to get out of here. By the time the noise comes to an end Prompto is blinking rapidly to try to stop the tears threatening to spill. They're not helping his vision one bit, so when a silhouette hurries towards him fear spikes in him for a short moment. But this one doesn't have a mask, and two larger silhouettes are left behind it.

"N-Noct." He whimpers when the gag is carefully removed and tossed to the side. Above him there's some soft cursing, and then Noctis gently grabs his aching shoulders and helps Prompto sit up straight.

"I- yeah- shit, I'm here Prom." Noct says, fumbling a little with his words as he takes in the state Prom is in, and his brows crease in worry. "What was that?" he asks, nodding hastily towards the men on the ground some ways behind him. They seem to be unconscious now, and Prompto swallows hard before he answers.

"Robbery?" he offers weakly, accompanied by an attempted smile that doesn't quite translate on his tired face. Noctis looks at his with wide, worried eyes. Then it seems he realizes, or remembers maybe, that Prompto's hands are still bound. Again, sparks fly in the air as Noctis summons one of his daggers to cut Prompto free. The ropes are so tight it's difficult to do without accidentally nicking Prom's skin in the process but eventually it works, and Prompto can finally move his arms properly. Almost immediately his shoulders sag in relief, but Prompto's breath hitches when he brings his hands in front of himself again and sees the state they're in. Noctis obviously has a similar reaction and lets slip a small gasp.

The skin around Prompto's wrists and a bit further up the arm is rubbed red and raw by the coarse rope, bruises are already forming where the first rope was tied, and multiple other places blood has been drawn. Most of which cannot possibly be from Noctis' careful cutting. Prompto doesn't say anything, he doesn't know what to say. He only stares at his own trembling hands for a while, seeming almost scared to move them. It's only when Noct extends his own hands and carefully grabs hold of them that Prompto looks up. Noct manages to send Prom a reassuring smile, though a somewhat shaky one still. He begins rubbing his thumbs in soft circles on Prompto's hands, careful to avoid the most severe bruises and cuts, and Prompto lets out a long, wobbly sigh.

"Thank you." Prompto says finally.

"Of course," is Noct's answer, low and genuine. "do you think you can stand?"

Prompto isn't quite sure, but they try regardless. Turns out he can both stand and walk on shaky legs, provided it's with support from Noct. Support he readily gives. They make their way out of the gas station store, and Noctis can't resist giving one of the men an extra kick as they pass them. Then Noct calls Gladio to come pick them up and notifies him of the incident, even if local police likely wouldn't do much Noctis isn't going to let this go so easily. As they sit and wait, leaning their backs against the wall, Prompto nearly dozes off. His head resting on Noct's shoulder. And all the while, Noct never lets go of Prompto's hands and keeps rubbing small calming circles across his skin.

#whumptober2021 #whumptober 2021 #no. 1 #bound #final fantasy xv #ffxv whump #whump writing #tw: restrained #whump #my writing #tied up #restrained #prompto argentum whump #ffxv prompto #ffxv noctis #manhandling #robbery #rope burns

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raguna-blade · 3 years

Text

So I kinda need to talk about this because I saw a post and my brain exploded for a moment.

This is probably extremely dumb but I have to write this down.

So ok, for real for real, if we take a step back from fun and games for a moment from this fun game (hyuk) I think we can all admit that when it comes to shipping in game, and especially with regards to shipping with the Doctor, there’s basically precious little canon text for a good number of them. Tomimi and Gaviel? Oh yeah for sure, textually supported! Doctor and Kal’tsit? It’s very easy to read if only because they’re both being parents to Amiya to the best of their ability, but their precise relationship to each other actually a bit more questionable on the ship front. Platinum and Blemishine? They literally have not met and neither has, to my knowledge, expressed a type to even indicate they’d even be remotely attracted to each other on the romance front, or even get along with each other on the friend front.

But with the Doctor especially it’s all a huge amount of suggestion and impression because the doctor is (technically, technically because we get to make choices of their dialogue but they’re pretty consistently sassy and a bit of a dork, but they don’t get their own lines) a silent protagonist. Only a few characters have anything resembling actual explicit interest in the doctor, of them being Deepcolor(Switch is Flipped), Warfarin (Restraining order) and that’s about it as far as I recall.

OK, but you lead with a TnA Whislash pic where you going with this?

RIGHT, So most characters in their E2 artworks are generally more cool than hot/sexy*. The game is really really really restrained with the horny, even in the swimsuit outfits characters may have.

So we come to Miss Whislash’s picture here which is like...Ok damn, you’re just going all out I get it cool. But otherwise, aside from this singular pic dealie, there’s like no Doctor Attraction vibes being thrown out.

But...

But then like...there’s a couple of pieces of evidence which make you go...Huh.

Talk 1: Doctor. Just to put any scary little misunderstandings to rest, let me say this now. Maria might call me her aunt, but that’s only because I’m higher in the family. I’m not much older than her. I’m still young. I’m still not married. Clear?

Like Alright you’re going to just put that out there but nobody was asking whislash. Nobody was even saying anything about your age, and from what we know of Canon!Doc’s personality there’s no way in hell they brought up the marriage or age angle unless they were personally trying to get a rise out of you and there’s no way that the Doc would even consider that until this very conversation occurred.

Promotion 1: Doctor, can I borrow you? I just want you to help me carry some things. If you’re asking, well... er, just... all sorts of random things I buy when the mood strikes me.

Which is pretty innocuous, just hey man I wanna hang out with you haha don’t worry about it.

Trust 3: Doctor, we don’t get along half bad, but you don’t just lie there and leave it all up to me, not in your wildest dreams. I hate danger plenty, but layabouts leave another bad taste in my mouth. Though, when your back’s against the wall... *cough* Well, we can talk about it then!

Also completely innocuous* right up until that last line which makes me suddenly look at it and realize uh...Wait, why did you kinda drift off there Miss. What went through your head just now. WHOMSTS Back is against the wall here.

All of which when taken with her basically going, Hey lemme just give you a no limit credit card, which has been memed to death with her trying to sugar momma the doctor is yeah pretty damn sus.

But then I again come back to this picture and rememeber that like...These are kinda in universe you know. While i’m going to severely cast doubt on her going on all fours in 50% cheesecake mode** you also have folks like Earthspirit who kinda reference the weird ghost shit that elite operators are apparently capable of summoning stand like (which maybe it’s just image sure, but also maybe not? They kinda stand out and ONLY the elite get them so it’s like...HMMMMM) so this half makes me think that they’re absolutely a thing in universe for...I dunno, morale reasons? Memories? Someone thought it’d be funny and it’s a joke gone too far***

And if that is the case!

Taking into account that Whislash also very much knows image bullshit, and all that especially what with having to fund her run in the KNIGHT SPORTS LEAGUE.

I’m coming down on is miss Whislash trying to seduce the Doctor. Like...Legitimately.

Like is she legit trying to seduce. Am I overthinking this?

And If so, what the hell is the doctors vibe exactly in the day to day I have to know what these people see in this guy who may have GENUINELY tried to eat originum slugs at one point, and has DEFINITELY just straight poured boiling water into their mouth to make tea.****

#Arknights #Whislash #*Your Mileage may Vary #**Because it's still clothed and otherwise very tasteful #***I swear if we find out that they are actually tangible things in universe like collect an operator trading card #***And that probably the doctor started back pre amnesia pre monster days #***I will laugh harder than I have in a long time #****This may be self explanatory actually I feel dumb for even bringing it up that's deffo take home material i'm blind #I now wish to see the continued adventures of the Doctor Completely missing these increasingly obvious signs because they just don't read #As like oolala stuff #And Also Whislash getting absolutely roasted by Nearl and Blemishine #Perhaps Especially Nearl who at this point probably knows the doctor best of the Nearls and has seen enough to know that oh no my Aunts #Taste in [Gender] is T R A S H

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discotreque · 3 years

Text

LwD 2.10: First First Contact

I haven’t been able to do notes for the past few weeks, but that’s not much of a loss: I’ve been having too much fun to get analytical even if I could. All you “missed” would’ve been a lot of yelling about how much I love these characters and this show, and a list of jokes I thought were funny, which is pretty close to “all of them.”

Nor do I have much analysis of the finale. Yelling, though? I’ve got yelling. And a list of jokes I especially liked? Absolutely. Right behind this spoiler cut:

SONJA GOMEZ MY BELOVED 😍😍😍😍😍

Hmmm, we haven’t checked in on Mariner’s abandonment issues in a little while, how’s that g-OH MY GOD NO

Okay I knew Mariner had a crush on Jennifer, I KNEW IT, I even started writing a fic about it a few weeks ago and just left it 90% done like an IDIOT

Huge fan of Rutherford and Tendi having an intimate moment where they confess their love for… the ship. Tendiforritos OT3!!!

Mike McMahan, if you kill Sonja Gomez I will revoke at least three of the beers I owe you, I swear to god

Characters blurting out the (obvious) emotional subtext of a scene always gets a laugh from me, and Rutherford chirping, “We have to drop our defenses, like Mariner has to do with people!” got a BIG laugh.

Removing the ship’s hull is exactly the wild shit you can only do—and therefore must do, imho—in a Star Trek cartoon. Even Disco doesn’t have the VFX budget for that kind of ridiculousness.

The thing with Rutherford saving all his memories of Tendi in triplicate, just in case he forgot her again? Hit me right in the feels 😭️

“Nothing explodes around here unless I’m blowing it up!” I’m so glad Shaxs can never, ever die. Ever.

“But in seven hours, we’ll be dea—oh, I see what you did there.”

This was a great episode for Billups! Hilariously losing his shit at even implied criticism of the warp core; has a sweet fatherly moment with Rutherford and gives him legitimately good advice; totally saves a lady’s life out of nowhere; says “dragon’s blood!” as a curse. What a legend.

Ransom finally gets his hands on the Riker joystick (not like that)

HEY UH WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH RUTHERFORD’S WEIRD MEMORY THERE??

CETACEAN OPS, these mad bastards finally delivered, and of COURSE the beluga whales are wearing little Starfleet uniforms, and of course they’re sex pests omg

Wait uh didn’t Barnes and her pals invite Rutherford to “go swimming in Cetacean Ops” earlier this season? In retrospect that’s starting to sound kind of kinky for a first date…

Get you a friend like Tendi who can eventually have ENOUGH of your shit and tell you to shape up, tbh.

God, those exteriors of the thrusters firing are sexy as hell

This entire episode is gorgeous as FUCK, actually????

J E N N I F E R 💙️ 💙️ 💙️ 💙️ 💙️ Saving Mariner!! (And I think Mariner’s into it?)

Didn’t catch the name of Capt. Gomez’s first officer, but I really liked him.

Cerritos to the rescue!!! HELL yes!!!!

Are they going to just completely fuck up the ship in every season finale?

Promotion for Tendi, which she absolutely deserves, hell yeah

“Who the fuck is that? I don’t know who that is. I mean like Spock!” We don’t see that much of Dr. T’Ana, but Gillian Vigman crushes it in every scene she gets.

Tipsy Captain Freeman is adorable omg MORE OF THIS PLEASE

Carol Freeman is absolutely one of my favourite Trek captains ever and I will be devastated if/when Dawnn Lewis actually leaves the show, even though she probably has to at some point. (Not yet, though...!)

MARINER AND JENNIFER FOR REAL??????

Sooooo when Boimler “almost drowned in whale pee,” was that during the mission or the celebratory skinny-dipping…?

That episode was so good I forgot they hadn’t paid off Chekhov’s Varuvian Bomb until they REALLY paid it off, like holy shit, Pakled Planet (heh) is just gone

…holy SHIT, what??? They’re arresting Captain Freeman????

My full-body CHILLS when “To be continued” came up in the TNG font, though...

What an excellent episode of Star Trek. What an excellent season of Star Trek. I’m honestly kind of emotional about how many things this show has given me that I’ve wanted for like 30 years, since I was a feral little nerd sitting way too close to the TV before dinner, or even 10 years, since I started dipping a toe back into online Trek fandom.

Only two (short) seasons is still too soon for me to definitively say that Lower Decks is my favourite Star Trek series ever—but the facts are, I’ve ended both of those seasons with tears in my eyes because I love Star Trek so fucking much (as you maybe have noticed)… and so, obviously, does Lower Decks.

See you in a couple of weeks for Prodigy! I’m sure this fandom won’t be intolerably weird about a kids’ show...

#star trek #star trek lower decks #lower decks #lower decks spoilers #lwd spoilers #amy's episode notes

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geekygoddesss · 4 years

Text

You

Summary: After Tom breaks the longest relationship he’s ever had, both of them seem to handle the breakup in a completely different way.

Words: 12k

A/N: first part of a serie!

“You” chapter list

January 4th, 2020 - The night

For some reason tonight Tom couldn’t keep his hands still. It was the first time in years were he was actually nervous, he didn’t like that at all.

He has gone down a couple of drinks already, the night was still young, but time was running so slow he was starting to feel this exact moment in his life would life forever, and he was starting to grow anxious as never before.

When he turned his head to the right, the only thing he could see were the blinding lights going all around the room, accompanied by the loud music and gigantic crowd that naturally came with it. If he took a closer look it was easy for him to spot familiar faces, people that were dancing and having fun without him, people he loves but that might be about to start hating him. Because he hasn’t done a single thing and he already feels like a bad person.

Those bright green eyes he knows so well shined directly towards him, and he couldn’t not spot them as they turned to him, that was something that came with having a good eye sight. The face of his girlfriend was smiling to him, waving him to come join her, but he wasn’t in the mood, so he shook his head in denial.

He knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer, he knew her like the palm of his hands, she never gave up so easily.

It was only a matter of seconds - and couple blinks - to have her standing right in front of him, hands on his shoulders and the biggest smile on her face. She was happy tonight, he felt bad.

“There you are!” she yelled, even though he could perfectly hear her, but the euphoria was kicking her hard. “Why are you sitting down?! This is a party” she fake frowned, as she took a look at him up and down.

He did what he does best, act natural and mask shit out. After all, that’s all he could possibly do to avoid tension.

“It’s called a small break, genius” he rolled his eyes, letting out a sarcastic tone that came out playful.

“Right, sorry” she said, going in to take a sit right beside him.

Feeling her arms go around his waist made him even more nervous. When he turned his head to the side, her lips crashed messily into his, greeting him peck, and letting him know she was indeed having a very fun night, but not only that, she was silently telling him she cared and she hoped he was having a good night too.

I’m a bad person.

That thought wouldn’t stop going around his head as time went by, and as he opened his eyes and saw hers, she moved over and went to take the last sip of his drink, he felt even worse. She was unusually happy, and he was about to ruin it from all sudden.

Should he give some sort of hint before exploding the bomb?

Should he leave it out for another occasion?

Would it be better is he said it now?

None, none of those answers seemed like a good option. He was second guessing himself and that was even worse. It was going to be a disaster and there was no way to evict that.

Scratch that, I’m a terrible person.

A couple of big hands landed on his shoulders from all sudden, making him jump in place and sending shivers down his spine. She got scared too at the sudden move, but she smiled right after, once she saw the face behind the small prank, and the one that gave Tom the scare of his life.

“Baby!” Tuwaine’s voice busted in his ears out of the blue, and almost knock him out of his seat.

“Shit!” He exclaimed, doing his best to not fall over “Fuck! Don’t do that, shitface”

As he turned, he appreciated the face of one of his best mates and his girlfriend right beside him, both of them looking just as euphoric as his own girlfriend, and acting concerned for his lack of excitement tonight, which was good for a season like this. No work, free time, a night to remember… it was weird for Tom to be so serious, it was only on him to make it look as natural as it could be.

“Why are you sitting down?” Tuwaine asked.

“That is exactly what I said” (Y/n) argued, as he watched the pair taking a seat right in front of them.

“I don’t feel like dancing tonight, I enjoy watching you trying to get some moves right” Tom excused, directing an awkward grin to his best friend.

“I do a good job, compared to you, you just do alright” Tuwained mocked.

Allison, his girlfriend, laughed “Good one” she giggled, pinching his cheek and grabbing the drink she has been sipping from for the last half an hour.

They’ve been at this bar for a while already, Tom has lost count of how long it has been since they arrived, but for all he knows, he has done through a couple of drinks already, and he would keep going, but he can’t. He needs a clear mind tonight and he couldn't mess that up.

“Another round, gentlemen? Tequila, (Y/n)?” Allison offered, raising a hand for the waiter to come.

“I wouldn’t mind that” (Y/n) shrugged, showing a smile.

“I’ll have one more too” Tuwaine agreed, nodding to his girl as he leaned on the table.

He had to admit he was taking this situation better than he expected. He held his girl’s hand, kissed her on the cheek, caught up on a previous conversation with his best friend, took the liberty to take another beer, and before he knew it, the situation was looking more normal in his eyes.

It was the first time in months he’s been in a bar in London, he has been out for work and all over the world for so long, having some time to stay home made him feel calmed and better. After staying at his apartment, reflecting on life and hardly going out for almost a full week, it was the first time in a very long time he had a night out with his close ones and he was grateful for it.

… but still he was extremely sorry for this night to be the night.

With his head off elsewhere, he kept his girl close as he nodded at the words of his best friend, sipped on his beer and heard (Y/n) ask questions to keep the conversation alive. He didn’t comment or participated, he just listened, he didn’t want to take part in the mix and say anything stupid, he just needed to be present and act natural.

It was difficult to remain fairly sober when he had to face something like this, it was his third drink already, and without intending it, he was going through it faster than usual, maybe it was because he was barely speaking, but as the conversation went on, the bottle became empty as time passed, and he didn’t like that. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to gain himself an assisted ride home and slide words of his mouth that weren’t intended, he needed to get ahold of himself, unless he wanted to start creating wrong opinions from his closest friends.

The light shifted in the room, the DJ became inspired, and in the blink of an eye everyone in the crowd started cheering with excitement. It wasn’t weird at all, he knew why, those were 90’s songs, everyone loves those. The night was starting to come alive with every second and he could see his friends vibing with it, he could see it in how their faces changed and the mood lit up even more. For a second he felt jealous, very jealous. They were having a genuinely good time, and here he was, making a mess of his own mind by worrying about something that has been hammering him for weeks.

He couldn’t wait to get it out of his head. He couldn’t wait to feel himself again.

“Oof I love that song, that’s it” Allison cheered, grabbing (Y/n)‘s sleeve and jumping with excitement. “Bye, boys”

As usual, she just laughed at her friend’s reaction and jumped off her seat at that weird queue, looked back at Tom suggestively and nodded towards the dance floor.

He shifted uncomfortably.

“Go dance, we’ll stay here” Tom assured both of the girls, silently telling Tuwaine to make him company.

Surprisingly none of them fought him, like he was expecting them to. Allison just grabbed (Y/n)’s hand and took off to the dance floor, because she was already too drunk and she couldn’t wait, her body was in need of a bit of dancing. (Y/n) looked back on his direction, giving him an apologetic smile that he waved off without even thinking about it, because there was nothing to apologize for, she was always apologizing for everything.

She deserved to have a bit of fun alone with her friend. He knew she stressed a lot and needed a break, it was a good idea to just let her be, sing and dance until she could forget about whatever she was stressing about this time.

She is a hard working girl, that is why he loves her so much.

“You’re a bit off mate” Tuwaine mumbled to him. Moving on his seat to be closer.

His eyebrows raised, he almost choked with his beer, but he groaned it off, he didn’t want to come off as nervous, although it looked like he was failing. What was happening to him tonight, he didn’t know, but whatever he knew about acting was wearing off, because he was failing at it, and now all he could do was face reality.

“Really?” He asked, trying to seem surprised, but not too much.

“Yeah” Tuwaine said, like it was obvious. “you alright?” He asked, genuinely concerned, slowly turning serious.

Tom hesitated for a second. He didn’t wish to engage anyone into anything, this was something he has been thinking about and it was more of a personal fight, he didn’t want other people to get involved. However, Tuwaine has been his right hand for such a long time, he understood why it worried him to see him like this, because if it was his case, he would feel like that too. He couldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt, that would be mean, he trusted him, so he guessed it would be better to tell someone than to do this and have no one know about this beforehand. It would be like walking on it alone… right?.

“Yeah! Always” he assured, nervously fidgeting with the bottle in his hands.

He thought about it for a second, doubted himself and then… he just gave up.

“Actually, I don’t know” he let out, looking directly at him. “Can I tell you secret?” he mumbled.

Tuwaine shot him a weird look, raised his eyebrows and asked “Right here?” as he looked around the room and moved closer to his friend so he could hear him right.

“Yes” Tom nodded “Just act natural, it doesn’t have to be a big deal” he warned, looking to his from and forcing a small grin in direction of the two girls dancing not too far from them, who would turn and look at them every once in a while. He didn’t want them to notice the tension that started to build up.

“Okay” Tuwaine agreed, looking up front and mumbling “Whats up?”

Once again, he felt weird, but he needed to be an adult and be able to say this as it was, not with bad intentions, but still being real about what his thoughts were. It was his friend after all, he trusted him, nothing bad could come out from this… yet.

“I’ve been thinking about... stuff, a lot, lots of things going around and after having some serious reflections about this, I think... I don’t know” he started, not really finding the right words to introduce the situation, because there were no right words to say this. It was just complicated. “I think (Y/n) and I...” he tried to explain, but he really couldn’t.

He motioned with his fingers what he tried to say, finding that an easier way to explain the situation than to describe it with words. With both of his index fingers he touched them together and then moved them apart, as simple as that, there was no more to communicate. Tuwaine seemed to piece everything together way too quickly, and Tom was nervous what his reaction could be.

“Really?” he whispered in a very surprised toned, clearly being stunned by that new.

Tom nodded shyly. “Yes” he mumbled back.

Tuwaine blinked, clearly being confused and surprised by all this, like Tom expected.

He was aware that dropping this bomb would be anything but easy, and that there would always be a reaction from any of the parts. First of all, because he has been with the same girl for already four years, they love each other, they live together… it was a hard decision, but the hardest thing of it all, was that this was something that would have consequences in more than one aspect and they all knew that very well, it would be a chaos, he was absolutely terrified of it.

“Wow” Tuwaine said, letting out a big sigh as he asked “Is everything alright with you two?”

Tom pressed his lips together, now really getting nervous “It’s fine, it’s okay, it’s just...” he tried to explain. “Listen I’m going to sound like a real asshole right now but it is really the whole truth” he warned, because now it really could get worse from here. “I think I want to be with other people” he said shyly, looking for approval in his friend’s eyes as he said his truth.

Tuwaine looked anything but happy at that response, he looked deep into Tom’s eyes, took a second and nodded his way, giving him the chance to explain himself once.

“Go on” he said harshly, he jaw showing some tension that made him even more uncomfortable.

Tom nodded back, and prepared himself to make this one short and sweet.

“See, I’m only 23 and she is just 21, we’ve been on this relationship for around four years and I have had a good time but I just thought about it and I am not ready for commitment, mate, I am young, I need to explore a bit more and see other girls other than her, live new experiences, you know what I’m saying?” He asked, turning to look at him. “I love her, I really do, but really... I think I’m ready to move on and explore” he shrugged “it really had nothing to do with her, I’m just thinking, hey, I’m still young enough to see a little more aside from the first girl I ever started a real thing with, it’s not like we’re married, maybe it’s time both of us meet new people” he explained, trying to make it sound somehow better, but it was just the whole truth.

Tuwaine looked unsure and certainly surprised by his friends speech. Tom understood that Tuwaine was probably not expecting something like this to come up on a night like this, but the truth is that there was never going to be a right moment, and by this time there was a certain urge for Tom to let it out. He has been rounding this thought for a while, it wasn’t just something that popped out in his mind. It might be surprising, but it wasn’t random.

“I don’t know, are you sure about this?” Tuwaine doubted “I mean, look at her” he said, turning to look back at the girls “She looks very happy now that you’re here, and I mean, she is pretty, smart, she loves having you around, she helps you a lot, are you sure you want this?” He asked Tom, doing his best to make him reconsider his decision.

With this, Tom knew his friend was not agreeing with his argument. But it was natural, he was her friend too, and they were good friends. None of them would want to see her sad, but this is how things rolled now. He took a decision and he would stand by it.

“Yeah, I mean...” he mumbled, looking at her for a second “I don’t want her to just vanish out of my life, I figured we could always be friends and whatnot” he sighed, shaking his head at the thought of her just… going away.

Tom turned his head towards his friend. He was never seen him with such marked frown but still calmed look on his face, clearly trying to remain normal. He wasn’t feeling comfortable and Tom was already getting nervous, this is exactly what he wanted to evict.

“Don’t look at me like that” Tom begged in a mumble “Tuwaine, don’t judge me, please”

“I don’t! I don’t judge you, I swear” Tuwaine said, snapping out of it and holding up both of his hands “Hey, Listen, I think you’re making a mistake, alright? but if you thought about it and you’re sure, then go for it” he shrugged, trying to show some respect to him “But be careful, okay? That’s all I can say, if that’s what will make you happy, I support you, you know that” he assured him, nodding his way and trying to crack a smile.

Tom knew that was not the most honest answer from his part, that hurt, but he bought it. There really was not a better outcome for this moment. He knew no one was going to tell him it was the right decision, but he knew what he was about to do, even when it didn’t seem like so, he has thought this through.

“Thanks mate” He thanked him, leaning in to pat on his shoulder.

As time passed he grew more nervous, now that he has revealed his big secret to someone, not only that, now that he has revealed it and also was alone with the only person who knew his secret, he was feeling even worse than before. Good thing of having someone know of his secret was that he was passing onto him very good advice. He would tell him what she should say and what not to say, what he would do, his perspective, some past experiences that might help him… if anything, he was starting to feel this moment was starting to become a bonding moment for him and Tuwaine, sure it was not the best situation, but sharing this kind of information with him somehow felt special.

Tuwaine would speak a lot, and so did he, trying to explain a little bit how he was come to this decision while he could, as well as giving Tuwaine the chance (and privilege) of commenting on his master plan, that might as well go wrong, but it could be less bad if he fixed some aspects of it with the help of his friend.

Their conversation seemed cut off when suddenly the girls disappeared in the crowd of people, and barely making themselves noticeable, appeared behind them trying to make it seem like a surprised, and once again completing the group that just a couple of minutes ago was incomplete.

(Y/n) slid her arms around Tom, let him hold her hands as they laid on his chest and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. Typical move of her, she loved to have him like this, and he was not mad at it, at all. He felt warm, safe, home…

Focus, Tom, God dammit.

“Are we ready to go?” He asked, as he turned his head and let her leave a small peck on his lips.

A small frown appeared in her forehead, as she walked around him to face him directly and hugged his waist to keep him close. He could see she was missing having the opportunity to have him this close, after months apart, she was missing him a lot and it was showing. On his behalf, It was wrecking him from the inside out, but he was an actor and right now he needed to mask this one.

“What? You want to go already?!” AIlison exclaimed, sounding completely outraged by his question.

He shrugged, hugged his girl close and left a small kiss on her forehead. He needed an excuse to get out of here, this was the best chance he could find.

“Are you tired, bubs?” (Y/n) asked softly, looking up at him.

“A little bit, I’m going to lie” he nervously laughed, shrugging a little “Jet lag is a real bitch” he said, but he didn’t mean that.

Jet lagged has already passed. He has recovered his usual schedule for a couple of days now, he was fine. It was just the perfect excuse to get him out, he knew no one would fight him while playing this card.

“That’s true” (Y/n) agreed, leaving a kiss on his cheek and grabbing her purse on the table.

He made sure to turn back at Tuwaine with a suggesting look, so he understood it was time and he needed him and his girlfriend to vanish elsewhere. Right now he just needed to be alone with his girl and make every possible thing in his hand to not fuck anything up.

“We can go then too, I’ll call an Uber” Tuwaine announced, finishing his drink in one sitting, and getting up from his seat. Queue for everyone to do the same.

“Already? c’mon” Allison whined, showing a pout as she followed her boyfriend’s moves.

“Don’t worry babe, I have an idea” Tuwaine mumbles to her, trying to make this situation look just a bit better.

Making their way out of the bar was difficult, it was crowded, however, it is even more difficult to make it out of there when there are people around that knew Tom’s face, called his name, touched his shoulders and even stepped in the way to just wave his wave. Sometimes it could become very overwhelming. One way or another, and one step at a time, they made their way out of the place and into the cold and shiny streets of London at night.

Tonight was not the most busy night for London’s bar, in fact, for them it was the perfect night to go out for a drink, but it was still crowded enough to build up a proper party. There were a lot of people around, however, there were not enough, so they could easily be able to step out in the street without getting mobbed with people recognizing him and only occasionally see a couple people around that would either call his name or wave at him, those were the best kind of nights, they were the best because he could chill and fool around with his friends without having too much eyes on him. Somehow it made him feel like he was just another guy going out in London.

They stepped into the streets of the city, looking for their usual spot to call a taxi. Him having (Y/n)’s hand in his and guiding her through the small crowd in front of the bar and making sure she was with him at all times. It has just rained, he knew that, it was noticeable on how blingy everything looked now and it didn’t before, also on how this new fresh air ran through the air, he was not expecting the weather to change like this so suddenly.

He looked back at his girlfriend, just to make sure she was not feeling the same as him or even worst, checking if she was cold so he could lend him his jacket if needed; she was definitely the kind of girl who got cold easily. Instead, the moment he turned around, he found her grabbing onto his arm just a little tighter and fighting her feet as she walked and stumbled onto her side in a dumb move when she tried to step in.

“Hey” Tom chuckled, grabbing her arms as a reflect “Was that you stumbling?” He asked, holding her still.

Her lips opened, then closed and cracked into a smile. “No” she answered, standing up straight.

He looked at her with a suspicious look that she detected in less than a millisecond. She laughed, and before he could even notice her arms were all over him, wrapping him into a hug and clinging into him. He laughed, leaned into her and kissed her lips softly, hold her close and really took in this moment. He loved it, he loved this, but he would miss it, having her here and now was something he had thought about pretty often while he was gone, and now that it was happening, it was a shame that he was going to ruin it soon.

“What if we get lost?” He whispered over her lips, kissing her cheek, and pulling her more into him.

She smiled and nodded, making him understand that they were already going home, it was obvious. He nodded back, making her know, he was actually meaning something else.

“What?” She asked, now clearly being confused.

“We” he signaled “are getting lost” he announced, already assuming there was no way she would say no to this.

Even when she doubted… he was right. She looked at him in doubt for a second and by the look on her face, it was clear that she would go with the flow of whatever he had in mind, it was just perfect.

“Okay” she mumbled, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it lightly.

Tom smiled widely, everything was going well, now he just needed to calm down, he could already feel his nerves spiking up on his spine, waiting for the worst part to happen and be over. He was turning more anxious by the second.

Thank god he’s been trained to mask this kind of shit, it was really growing on him and the last thing he needed was making a show in the middle of a public place because he was incapable of ‘playing it cool’ when he needed to.

“Guys, we’re going to take a walk home” he announced to the couple in front of them, as he grabbed his girls hand and guided her with him.

Allison immediately turned up to then and frowned. When things came out a little different, she usually made a lot of questions, but this time Tuwaine had this covered, when he immediately stepped in and wrapped his arm around Allison’s shoulders he was saving his ass from panicking, big time.

“Are you sure? The Uber is almost here” Tuwaine asked, showing him the lit up screen on his phone.

Tom smile and nodded in response.

“Yeah, we can take the long way” he shrugged, slowly walking back and taking (Y/n) with him.

“It is a very long way, are you sure you don’t want a ride?” Allison asked, genuinely sounding concerned.

“It’s shorter than you think!” Tom exclaimed, slowly turning around and making his way out.

He could sense Allison just about to fight him into coming with them into the uber, but the situation was quickly diffused by her boyfriend, who immediately sensed, it was probably better they made their way out by themselves and not step into uncomfortable situations before anything could happen.

“Leave them, I have somewhere we can go” He heard Tuwaine mumble to her quietly, thing that relaxed her and made any possible questions fade out. “See you Monday!” he created Tom as he walked away.

“See you, mate!” he waved back, saying goodbye and finally getting what he wanted.

It might raise some sort of suspicion, but this is exactly what he was asking for, a walk with (Y/n), that was it…

Now he just needed to get it together.

As they walked under the cold streets of London, Tom held her hand tightly and swung it back and forth slightly as they walked and he heard her speak, telling him stories and putting him up to date with everything. They made their way around effortlessly, already knowing where to go and how to get into quitter places where they could really be alone, they knew this place like the back of their hands, getting lost was easy, but really getting lost, for them was both easy and a pleasure. London is a beautiful city, but it is even more beautiful when you know those spots where no one else went, and that is exactly what they went for, a bit of privacy and somewhere where they could walk peacefully.

With just a bit of patience and taking the right ways, in no time they were entering themselves into the best shortcuts of the city. Suddenly, everything so much calm than before, no one else was there staring, or speaking, or calling his name, it was just them on the quietness of the streets, walking hand in hand like dumb teenagers in love. For them everything was always like if they were dumb teenagers.

He had to admit that for a second he really thought she would never buy that poor excuse he gave her to get them out of that place. In fact, he really thought she would be mad for him making them walk instead of taking a cab, however, it happened to be the complete opposite. She was looking way overly excited for having this kind of moment with him, she would walk around the middle of the street in a slightly faster pace than him, almost giving small jumps of excitements as they walked and going on into a story that clearly excited her. On the other side, he wouldn’t speak, he would just listen, made small comments and let her go on; seeing her being so excited was adorable, but he was already starting to feel terrible and it was showing. On his mind, he was trying to find the way to turn this around and make this be as mild as it could possibly be.

“You are quiet tonight” She mentioned from all sudden, stopping her story and looking back at him with a comforting smile. Obviously trying to calm him down without saying much, like she would usually do at times.

Right now he really wished that would work the same.

“No, I’m not” he excused himself, shrugging it off as he turned to look back at her.

She chuckled at his dumb answer. “Yep” she answered back, squeezing his hand as she mumbled. “Yes, you are”

Maybe it was time for him to set the mood and get serious, get into something more than just an exciting story and tone it down, that way he thought it might be easier to introduce such a thing later. The last thing he wanted was to burst her bubble from happy to concerned from all sudden, it would be so much worst.

“Sorry” he apologized, directing to her a bit of a shy smile “I'm just a little...”

“Stressed?” she guessed, cutting him off and taking him completely off guard.

Words were struggling to come out of his mouth, he wasn’t expecting her to see him stressed, even though he was, he thought he was playing it off well, looking normal and relaxed, like he usually was. Now he sees he was wrong.

“I get it, tour week it’s coming and you barely get a proper break, it kind of sucks” she mentioned, shrugging a little as she looked up front.

I’m a way she was right. He was grateful mind reading wasn’t a thing, but in certain way, she had nailed the fact that there was something in him bothering him from that aspect. He loved his job, but sometimes he couldn’t help to keep thinking about what was coming next, even when he was on vacation. This is one of those situations, however, this time there was a plus.

“Yeah, That” he chuckled nervously, as he looked down “Im having re-shoots after that” he also mentioned, keeping the conversation up.

Her eyebrows raised. “Where?” She asked.

“Atlanta”

It was surprising he did not mentioned this to her before, being such an important fact about him leaving for work, again. He usually kept this to himself, although he wouldn’t keep a secret about him leaving, he just didn’t feel like mentioning everything he had to do; he thought it made everything seem a little overwhelming, taking things slow was a better option.

“Wow” she sighed. “you don’t ever get a break, do you?”

He chuckled slightly. “No” he said “I need to learn my lines” he also mentioned, almost as a reminder to himself.

Another responsibility he needed to get his hands on before things piled up.

“Can I take a look at them?” she asked in a happy tone, already looking excited about something like this.

He smiled shyly, acting as if he would think about it, but once he turned to see her, she already knew what he was going to say. “Sure” he let out, squeezing her hand a little bit as she jumped in excitement.

He couldn’t say he was surprised about this, she was always trying to check things out when it came to his scripts. Prompts of having her, she really enjoyed all of the world of screenwriting, she always looking for so much information that it came in handy when she had comments over scripts he had to do. It helped him a lot and at the same time he hoped it helped her as well, after all, this was something she enjoyed with her whole heart.

“I have exams in two weeks, you came right in time” she mentioned, changing the topic as she let go of his hand and went in to walk over the yellow line of the sidewalk. “Right before you leave, I’ll be starting my vacation, I might even grow a pair to see you in action, mister” she mentioned, making a funny face at him and winking his way.

He laughed at her silly moves. She was the kind of person that every time she had some sort of boost of energy, it would show, this was one of the situations. She would walk over that yellow line trying to maintain balance and (for sure) acting like a little girl, she was looking for something to do as they made their way home and that would keep her active. It was certainly adorable. It was hard for him to keep track of the conversation as he watched her, it was somehow entertaining how she moved so gracefully and at the same time rambled like crazy as she spoke.

“What do you mean ‘see me in action’, lady?” he answered, imitating her teasing tone “You’ll make it to the premier?” he asked, letting his eyebrow raise unconsciously.

“Yes, to the premier!” she exclaimed, jumping in place. “I already have it thought out and everything, it will be really fun” she mentioned, giving a small twirl on her feet as she walked, keeping her little game over that line, never for a second letting herself fall.

He shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling the tension over power his body. She had so much in mind, he did too. It was going to be an impossible task to burst her bubble in a gentle way because she already had high hopes over the future. He was about to ruin everything.

He is a bad person.

“I’m sure it will” he mumbled, not being aware of how it came out but suddenly realizing, his nervousness was really starting to show up.

She turned to look at him, obviously noticing the sudden change in his mood. Her face showing a slight and concerned frown on her face. He tried to mask it with a neutral look, but it really was not working now. He just stepped into a weird zone and he didn’t know how to get out, there was not going back now.

“What?” she chuckled awkwardly, trying to read his look.

His eyebrows raised. “What? What?” he answered back.

They looked at each other intensely for a good couple of seconds. Her trying to read him and him trying to act like nothing was going on. He was failing, of course, because once she took her eyes out of him, it was clear that she sensed something was off, and once again, she’d be right.

“You’re acting weird” she mentioned, stepping out of the sidewalk and towards him. “are you nervous about it?” she asked.

For a second, he completely panicked. What did she mean by ‘it’? Did she already knew what he was about to do?.

It only took him a couple seconds to realize she was actually talking about the one movie he has been working on for the past years and that hasn’t come out yet, but it will and yes, he was nervous about that too. He was rarely nervous, but this was something that also had him at the edge of his seat. He was glad she could read into that too, because at the moment it was a good mask for his weird behaviour.

“It’s my first movie for a overly famous company, I’m shitting myself” he nervously chuckled as the words left his mouth “Marvel is one thing, but this... Oof” he sighed, not being able to explain it well.

The smile on her face was very comforting. “It’ll be great” she assured him, taking his hand in hers “we all love Pixar and you are great in voice acting”

He shrugged “I don’t know” he mumbled “I was really nervous in the shooting sessions, I don’t think it’s my best” he admitted sincerely.

A shy silence fell between them. He guessed that she didn’t have much to say, he didn’t know what to say either. The truth was there were a lot of things going on in his life that made him this nervous, those were things he still had a hard a hard time controlling and he knew that even when it killed her to see him like this, she didn’t know how to handle this either. Having him like this was fairly odd.

“Is that what got you like this?” She asked shyly. He didn’t answered, he thought it was better to not say anything. She took that in as an answer and smiled. “You know my cousin always says something really wise that I don’t know if you’ve heard before but it says something like: tu n'as pas besoin d’impressionner tout le monde, fais des choses avec amour et les personnes intéressées se manifesteront” she recited, as expected, he didn’t get it, he had no clue of French. “which essentially means... if you liked what you did and you worked for it, then people will love it, and if they don’t...” she shrugged “they don’t know what they’re talking about”

He smiled.

It was nice how no matter what the conflict was in his head that bothered him in the most minimal way, she always knew what to say and I’m one way or another, it made him feel a lot better. This it was not exactly what he was looking for, but he gave her that. Watching her use her wisdom on him was a gift, he enjoyed it, even when it was not the situation, he wanted to hear one of those thoughts one last time.

If it was the last time he would get to hear them…

“Merci” he thanked her, smiling at her shyly.

She smiled back, there was something her that told her that even when he didn’t say much, he would really think about what she just told him and just… relax. That was okay, that was all she wanted and needed.

As they kept walking through those lonely and quiet streets, it was easy for Tom to find a way to change routes without her asking questions. Good thing about knowing this place so well, no matter where they went, everything could be a shortcut one way or another; before they even noticed his plan was going to perfection, just like he had planned, they were entering that isolated park where sometimes they would hangout, walk the dog, have a drink… lots of things. It was a not a strange place for them and it was the the ideal place to just sit and have a serious talk. It was just the place where they needed to be.

As they passed in front of the place, he took the chance to step into the grass surface of the park and entering it without asking if she wanted to go there first, he just did, and almost automatically, he thought it would be a good idea to make his way to the swings. Pretty much the only sitting surface they had in the whole park.

She walked beside him quietly, watching him as he sat down in one of the swings and looked up at her, waiting for her to do that same. The face she made to him was quiet funny, he was being somehow unpredictable and that was really taking her by surprise. At first she showed to be unsure, but after seeing that he was not going to move from that place in a little while, she gave up and just sat down on the swing beside him.

The atmosphere had become quiet weird and now she was the one becoming nervous, mostly because how intrigued she was, but she didn’t let that show on her, she just went with the flow, she wouldn’t let a bad feeling let her make a fool of herself.

“Why are we here?” She asked, swinging herself back and forth softly as she looked his way.

“I just thought we could sit down for a while” he mentioned quietly “have a talk” he shrugged.

It was weird, she thought, but she let it pass.

“Okay” she mumbled, nodding a little bit and not asking anymore questions.

She looked around the place, admiring the quietness that surrounded them and the sounds of nature that made themselves noticeable at this time. This place was surrounded by a neighborhood, a very nice one, that happened to have very nice houses with very nice gardens that most of the times served as houses for little insects and frogs that helped create such a nice environment. One of those houses actually happened to be her aunt’s house, pretty much the only piece of close family she had in the entire city to count on while her family was at the other side of the world, so you could say this place was no strange to her, it was a familiar environment, it almost felt like home.

“Oh, would you look at that” she laughed, taking a look at the big white house on their front “Look who’s awake” she said, pointing out to the only window of the house that showed a turned on light.

He hummed and looked that way.

“Little Franky is messing around at three in the morning, busted” she chuckled to herself “I bet he’s - like - watching porn or working or reading, but he should be sleeping, that’s a fact, he has school or whatever” she mentioned.

If there was someone she loved in this world with her entire heart was her cousin, Frank. Some may say they are siblings from another mother and the same family, but for her, that guy is her freaking soulmate. There was no one in this world that understood her better than him, and the fact that he was also in London, at the same time at her, that was priceless. They were used to being apart all of the time, having him close was just like a blessing.

“Isn’t he driving you tomorrow?” he asked, in a poor attempt of being chatty.

She smiled. “Sure, but only in the afternoon, I’m not the one who has to wake up super early” she shrugged, thinking about it for a second, seeing how her cousin’s head peeked from the window and disappeared in matter of a second. “Oh, I know what it is! I think he has some new friends in Paris, I heard, he’s probably playing video games, lame” she mocked, rolling her eyes.

He laughed at her reaction, he sensed how much she would like to be there to tease him, but it was not the time. It was adorable anyway, their relationship was adorable.

“You’re a bully, have you heard?” he teased, bumping his knee to hers.

“Stop” she fake whined, now rolling her eyes at him and looking his direction. “I have to admit, I thought we would be going home right away, have some time alone for once” she shrugged, now being more serious. “Huh? you have been home for weeks and we’ve hardly had… you know, a night for us”

The chuckle that came out of his lips was the most awkward move that he has made in his entire life, and he has done plenty of stupid shit. At this point, it was impossible for him to mask anything, it was almost like his abilities to play it cool have worn out entirely. He needed to get serious and think this through.

He didn’t want to do this and mark a wrong impression, he wanted to make things right, but with his nerves playing him like this, he was afraid he would fuck things up in a heartbeat.

“Yeah, about that” he said softly “I kind of wanted to talk to you about something”

She was too smart. The second he said that in that tone was the second her face changed completely, she knew something wasn’t right and it was starting to concern her. He felt terrible for that, he didn’t like when she worried like this.

“Are you okay?” she asked in a serious tone “Seriously, Tom, I don’t understand what is happening, you’re acting really weird” she said, a nervous chuckle coming out of her lips, as she looked at him directly and gave him all her attention.

“I am fine, I really am” he said, immediately “and let me just say, you are too, there is nothing wrong with you, you are one of the nicest beings ever, beautiful, smart and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, nothing”

He felt like he needed to point that out, he wanted her to know it was all him, not her, make it clear before she started to have second thoughts. Although it did sound like every breakup excuse, it was the truth, he needed to lay that out.

“Okay” she said awkwardly “Thanks...”

“I really mean it” he said quickly “there is absolutely nothing wrong with you”

“What?” she sighed, already growing even more nervous. “Listen, you are really creeping me out”

He nodded, he was already starting this with the wrong foot, he needed to fix this up before his nerves betrayed him entirely.

“Sorry” he apologized “I just thought it would be easier if we came here, somehow this place calms me down” he admitted, looking around and taking a short second to breath. The tension was building up quicker than he anticipated

“Because is the only place no one is eavesdropping?” she asked, her eyebrow raising in question.

“And because I know that every time I am here, you are always with me, no matter if you are actually here or in my mind, you just… make me company” he mumbled.

Somehow his hand managed to find hers, and he held her tight for a good second. Already refusing to let go, at least for now. He just needed to hold her one more time, even if it was the last time he would have the chance…

“Something is bothering you, something other than your job” she said, stating the situation without asking what was happening, again.

He nodded, her statements were right, just now in the way she thought.

“Take a break, let’s go home” she insisted, squeezing his hand and encouraging him to get up and go home.

Without her noticing, she was silently encouraging exactly what he has been struggling to say in weeks, and she had no idea. He has been rounding this for a long time, it was finally time to say it out loud and see what happened. Now is the time, it’s something he needed to do and now that they were at this point of the night and right where he planned to be, it was time.

He looked at her straight in the eyes, took a deep breathe and just said it. It was just as easy as that.

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot, I think it might be good for us if we took a break” he finally said to her, being careful with his words and keeping it simple.

It was not easy to let this out, but once he did, it felt like taking a weight off his shoulders. If it should feel like that or not… for him it felt great.

After he said that, she paused for a second. It was clear that she didn’t know what to say or how to react, it was too sudden and she wasn’t ready for something like this. Whatever she could do or say now, he didn’t know.

“A what?” she asked in confusion “When I- I didn’t mean you took a break like this, silly, I meant a break from work, what do you mean a break?” She mentioned nervously, struggling to really understand what was happening “Tom, what do you mean?” She asked again.

He noticed it was being difficult for her to process the bomb that he just dropped to her. She understood perfectly, but she could only hope that she misunderstood the situation and it was only a joke he was trying to play. It was not.

“I mean, maybe we should take some time to see other people, take a break from each other and maybe if we don’t feel comfortable and we’re both up to it...”

…go back, he implied, hoping he had made himself clear on what he tried to say.

I’m situations like this, it was very difficult to not look like the bad guy, but at the same time, it was even more difficult to handle the whole conversation without saying the wrong thing and make it as easy as he could. He didn’t want her to feel bad or cry, but that was impossible because it was already happening, the fact it was getting out of hand without him intending it was frustrating.

He wanted to take a hold of it. He didn’t want this to end up like in a wrong way, but it was failing quicker than he thought and it scared him.

“Did I do something?” She asked, her voice broken and eyes shining.

The atmosphere was slowly changing around her. Her breathing was heavier, she was quiet, her hands tried to stay still and the flow panic that flew out of her head without her noticing was impressing. He felt terrible. He was the one responsible for breaking her bubble, she was happy, and now she was not, she was crying. It was all on him.

“You didn’t do anything” he made clear once again. “I just think we should take some time for each other, we see each other all of the time when I’m out of work, we have lived together for two years, there is not a time ever were we aren’t alone, do you know what I mean?” he tried to explain, as best as he could “Baby, I love you more than you could ever imagine, but we are young and I need space… we need space”

At the mention of space, she sobbed. If there was something she was terrified of, was space. She never had a problem with leaving him be and let him do whatever he wanted, that applied to her as well, she liked to have liberty herself, but there was something inside of her, a big irrational fear of being alone without the ones she loved around her.

He knew very well how anxious this made her and how sensitive this topic was, he has heard stories and he knows she was completely terrified of people leaving her. This was not the case, he would never let this be the case, he would never leave her life just like so.

“Couples that take breaks never get back together” she mumbled.

“We could be the exception” he argued.

“How?!” she snapped, breaking the peace of the silence of the night and for once, showing this small contained anger she had inside.

More than anger, what she had was a lot of questions. It didn’t made sense in her head how he has decided to bring this up now and the fact that it was so sudden made her struggle. She was scared of what could possible happen next, she was too used to this… what is going to happen now?.

“You’re not making this any easier” he mumbled, getting even more nervous himself, now that she was having this reaction.

“So was this…?” she tried saying, but her breathing was too heavy, she could hardly speak. “Why? Why are you doing this? Where is this coming from?” she rambled, not containing herself at all.

“Darling” he mumbled “Calm down first, lets just talk, the least thing I want to do is hurt you” he said softly.

“You’re hurting me now” she whispered back, breaking his heart slowly.

He made sure to hold her hand tight and run his finger on the back of it. He was hoping it would help calm down, it would usually work, but he guessed it wouldn’t be that easy this time.

This was really fucked up.

She was crying and he didn’t know what to do or say. Before he could even notice, he was actually on his knees in front of her, watching from another angle how she cried and poured her heart out. He held her hands tight and tried to keep it together.

He hated this so much, but it necessary, this was something they needed for the sake of both of their relationship. He didn’t pretend to be selfish, he just needed to state that it might be the time for them to separate for a little while, even if it hurt, it was time, sooner or later, this had to happen.

“We’ve been together for four years” he explained softly “I love you, you know that, but... don’t you ever wonder how it would be to be with someone else? have a moment for you? live with no attachments, at all?” he asked, trying to state his point.

“No” she said in a outraged tone.

He was not surprised, she was a very introverted person; once she got comfortable around something, she could spend her whole life around it and not be bothered at all, she liked routine and stability, it was just how she was. For him it was the complete opposite, he liked to shake things up every once in a while, so much of the same drove him crazy and sometimes he just needed to see different things. It wasn’t his fault, he was just like that.

“Well I do” he said, still in a calmed tone.“Call me insane, but I’m curious; and even when I wished I didn’t have to leave you, or something else, I figured, I want to be honest with you no matter what” he admitted, holding her hands close to him he whispered a soft “I love you” and kissed the back of them softly. “I just ask you for a couple of weeks, a month maybe, not even” he almost begged, still being very consistent with his proposal.

Her silence remained intact for a while, she seemed unable to speak or elaborate something appropriate for this moment, she just stared at him, on his knees in front of her and begging for her to understand what went to his mind. She wanted to, she really did, but there was something else inside of her that told her this was very wrong and it was not fair this was even happening.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but” she started saying, in an attempt to speak normally “Are you breaking up with me because you want to be with someone else? Are you bored of me?”

He didn’t know how to answer to that, it was difficult to answer that without sounding like an asshole and she was asking difficult questions.

“It’s not like that” he mumbled.

“Then, correct yourself, because it sounds like that” she argued, sniffing as tears left her eyes, demanding for a proper answer.

At this moment he decided, this was going to be a difficult conversation to get around, so if he wanted to make this clearer he needed to be transparent with her. Trying to make this friendlier to not hurt her was going to fail anyway, he needed to get this out of the way and be honest. He was already stepping on this, the only thing he had left was finishing it.

They could be here all night, but if he didn’t tell her the truth, they would never get to a solid point.

“I just want to have a moment for myself” he snapped, finally confessing what was in his mind “Not like a man who has a distance relationship, because god knows how many times we’ve been over that, I want to feel how it is to be single” he said “I know this terrible and you will probably hate me after this but the only thing I want is… be”

“And then what? Take me back? I’m not a toy, Holland, you can’t just leave me aside and then take me back whenever you feel like it” she argued, a big frown growing on her forehead as she spoke.

Her hands left his in an abrupt move, he could almost feel how she was drifting away from him slowly. He wanted to stop that, get her back. Things were getting out of hand too quickly and he was terrified.

“You’re not understanding my point” he said in a very serious tone. “I’m not doing this just for myself, I think this will be healthy for both of us” he whispered. “We’re young adults; with my job and the amount of compromise I have with so many people, I don’t feel like I’m on the right mindset for anything” he explained, still trying to make things clear. “I love being with you, don’t ever believe that I don’t, but I just want to feel what it is to be single and just...” he motioned “free of everything”

The feeling of the air feeling his lungs was too potent, this much explaining was too much for him, especially at this time of the night, when he was half drunk and tired to keep up with this.

“Is that supposed to mean that I am a responsibility for you?” she mumbled, her voice getting darker as she spoke.

“Babe, of course” he said, her mouth widened in surprise instantly; he said the wrong thing and he knew it well. “not in a bad way, obviously, you’re my girl, I don’t want to lose you, not now or ever, but maybe taking this break will help us... revive the flame”

As soon as he saw the chance, he grabbed both of her hands in his again and kissed the back of them softly. She didn’t resist it, but there was something in the air that told him she wasn’t comfortable.

He was a bad person.

Looking away from his face and into the dark sky of the night, she took a good breath and cried. She cried because it was the only thing she could do to drain her feelings without making this situation worst, even when he started it.

“I-I-I…” she stuttered, trying to say something “Since when have you wanted to…?” she asked, not being able to finish the phrase.

She didn’t need to, he knew perfectly what she meant. It was fair that she asked that, she had the right to know and he had the right to explain it all.

“Since the last time I left” he confessed, opening up to her “I know, I know what you’re thinking and I know it took me the longest time to tell you about this, but I just… I wanted to tell you in person” he said softly “I feel like we have been on a cycle since we started dating, understand me, I just need a breather, I feel like a need a change in my life to get back on track later” he shrugged “This has nothing to do with you, it’s all me, I promise; it hurts for both of us, I am just begging you, let’s give us some time, live our lives, take a break and see how we feel, for once” he begged her, hoping she would understand and know what was happening through his brain.

“But I don’t want to lose you” she mumbled.

“I don’t want to lose you either, and you won’t” he assured her, kissing the back of her hands “I just want to clear my mind, I want you to have you space, relax, let both of us have time for ourselves… not spend all of the time together” he explained one more time “honestly, I’m annoying, don’t you get sick of me?”

He wished this make her feel a lot better. A small smile came out of her lips but there was still sadness in her eyes. She didn’t want to let go and it was too difficult to process everything that was just happening, she was never ready for this, she didn’t even know if the right thing was to let it happen or to fight it. It was a situation she was completely unfamiliarized with.

Although there were a million thoughts running through her mind by the second. When he got back on his feet and leaded her to do the same, she was already thinking about his proposal and it seemed like she had no other option than to take it, because if he already had this decision made, it was impossible he would change his mind, things were already said, there was no going back. Whether she liked it or not, it is what it is and there was nothing she could do about it.

“We can still be friends, right?” she asked.

Tom tensed for a good second. “I think it would be better if we just kept distance”

One of the hardest part of taking this decision was accepting the right thing to do was to not only be apart from each other, but to really keep a distance so things could work the proper way. One of the two of them would break down if they kept contact, so it was better to keep it that way, just until the time was right, he thought, for the time being they just needed a good established break.

“Seriously?” she asked, almost whining at his answer.

He nodded “Just until we’re ready” he mumbled “It’ll just be a while, love, I promise”

He knew this was coming, it’s been happening for a while. When a cry came out of her lips he was the first to pull her into his arms and let her cry the pain away. His heart shrunk at the sight of her pain, but it was his fault and he needed to be empathetic and show support, even when he was hurt as well. He was responsible, but it would be good for them.

“I don’t want to be without you” she cried, holding onto him tightly.

She held him tight and cried on his chest. If it was for her, she would never let go, she didn’t want to let go.

“It’ll be good for us, I promise you, just a couple of weeks” he mumbled, his fingers running through her hair.

“And if you don’t come back? If you feel better without me?” she asked.

Until this moment, he never thought about that part.

What if it felt better to be alone?

“...then maybe, it’s a sign” he said, almost whispering “Of course that won’t happen; we’re a team, we should take this as a time for meditate and reflect on ourselves” he said, looking down at her and mumbling “It’ll be okay”

Part of her wanted to not believe that, there was always something in her that told her this was wrong and he was lying, but something in her heart felt that… deep down, really deep down, he had a reason for all this, and he was right. This had to be mutual, she had no other option than to agree, even when she didn’t want to let him go so easily, the decision was already taken.

She looked up at him, really wanting to look into his eyes, looking for answers. Something in his face showed empathy for her, but there was also something in him that looked serene and peaceful, he looked sure of what he was doing, and unlike her, completely calmed with this whole situation. She envied his capacity to remain so calm. On his lips he showed her a small smile, telling her it would all be okay and there was nothing to worry about, that they would get through this and it would be worth every second, a smile that told her he was more than sure of it.

She didn’t know if it was worth believing that. He didn’t know what would happen, neither did her. Him being so sure about all this made her nervous.

Suddenly the biggest fact of them all hit her.

“Distance…” she mumbled, once it all fell into place. “Where am I supposed to go then?”

Of course this was something she should have worried about sooner, he has and she did not notice about that in any second, her thoughts were too consumed on the fact her four-year boyfriend was leaving her.

He shyly smiled, telling her, he already had it thought out.

It was never a coincidence he decided to take this way home and come to this park in particular. It was never a coincidence they were sitting in front of her aunt’s house, because once they had this conversation, this would be her stop and he would go home, all alone. He already had it thought out and she never guessed what he planned, not even in the slightest bit.

The shock of the moment kept her quiet, she was physically unavailable to speak for a solid couple minutes. Given the time, he decided it was time for her to go where she needed to, so he walked her to the door, it was the least he could do. The fact she would probably get in trouble for knocking at his aunt’s door and ask to stay at this time, that was the least of their problems, he had it already talked out, so the hardest part of the night would be definitely saying goodbye. He wanted to make it as smooth as possible, but letting her go just like this was never going to be easy.

“You can send whoever you want to pick up your clothes and everything you need, even yourself if you want” he let her know as they stepped into the front door. “Just for a couple of weeks, or however you think it is necessary, my door is always open if you need anything” he let her know.

She nodded. “This the last time I will see you, then” she said, he nodded back.

“Just until the time is right” he let her know.

And if it wasn’t right… it would be the last time.

“Will you… call me or anything?” she asked innocently, fearing this would truly be the last time they would ever see each other.

Fearing this would only be the start of her worst nightmare.

“Like I said, I think it would be better if we kept distance” he said, a sad smile showing on his face “but please call me if something happens, anything, for you I will pick up in a second” he said, being sure of every single one of his words.

It was needless to say that he only meant this for necessary things. She knew she wouldn’t be able to make contact with him like before, what he meant right now was only referred to strictly necessary problems, not just any conversation. He would be there for her, but if it was just a casual thing, he wouldn’t be picking up the phone, she would have to look for someone else to talk to.

She never thought this would be happening to them.

“So this is a goodbye” she mumbled “I love you” she said, meaning every single one of her words “and I’m sorry”

His heart broke at the sound of her words. It was not fair that she said that, but he took it, she felt guilty even when she didn’t need to, he couldn’t blame her. This was too sudden, she couldn’t think straight.

“I love you so much” he said in clear words, walking up to her. “you don’t have to apologize for anything”

She smiled, already stating an answer, she knew that.

It was a bad habit, apologizing, it seemed to be something she just did as an instinct and he was always reminding her of that. The fact that he was even reminding her of this in such a moment was ironic.

Taking a step forward, Tom walked up to her and kissed her lips for one last time, not like it was a goodbye, rather than that, he wanted this to be a ‘see you soon’. He placed his lips over hers softly, and making them touch for only a couple seconds, to then slowly step back once it started to feel hard to get away, and before he could get attached, he kept his distance and decided to walk away, go home. Short and sweet, that was the plan.

He kept walking, trying his best to not look back as he left her behind and made his way out. He wanted this, he reminded himself, it was hard but it was something he had to do.

Of course, he wouldn’t just leave without making sure she would get inside, safe and sound; that’s why once he was out of sight, he stopped his pace and just waited, waited to hear that door open and her getting in that house, or at least something that told him there was no way something bad could happen to her while he was not looking. If any of that happen he would never forgive himself.

Part of him expected to hear her cry at the sight of him leaving, but instead, he was surprised when he heard her ring the doorbell straight up. She would get in trouble for that, for sure, but as long as she got in safely, it didn’t matter.

“Yes?” He heard a quiet masculine voice mutter through the intercom.

Frank, of course. The only person who could be up at that time and the only one she probably wanted to speak to at the moment.

“C’est moi (It’s me)” she mumbled through the intercom, speaking in French, only to assure him that it was her indeed.

Frank was no stranger to the language, he was born in France after all, he grew up with it and he was the one teaching her, after all. It was like their way of communicating, their special connection.

“It’s so late, are you drunk or something?” He said in a sort of annoyed tone, sounding tired and done with everything.

“Please Frankie, open up” she whined, holding the tears and barely able to speak.

“One sec”

The tension was building up quick, he felt so guilty. He guessed this is what it took to take such hard decisions.

He felt the impulse of leaving at that moment, once he knew she was finally getting in the house. However, he decided it was better to stay until it was just him in that street; something inside of him didn’t let him take another step while she was still there, he wanted to hear whatever was said, but specially, hear her voice one last time.

Only god knew how much he was going to miss her from now on.

The front door opened, she was finally with someone other than him. Someone familiar.

“Oh Chérie, what happened?” Frank said with worry, once he saw her “Est-ce que ça va? (Are you okay?)” He asked.

“No” she cried, breaking down in a million pieces “He broke up with me” she mumbled to him, with a broken voice “He left me”

Hearing her say that stroke him like he never thought it would. He never thought he wold hear those words coming out of her mouth. He left her, he really did and she really believed that. He left her, after all those years together, and he was very sorry.

The damage was done. He has done what he planned and there was no going back, as difficult as it was, he did what he needed to.

He got what he wanted.

Tom Holland was now a free man.

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obeymeluv · 3 years

Text

Signs they Love You (Pt. 2)

This semester is almost over and while the teacher is a bit disorganized, I have a semblance of breathing room. I thought I’d pop this out real quick and maybe something smaller. Baby-related thing still pending. I want to do it, just not quite enough time yet.

Part 2 has Asmo, Beel, and Belphie.

Belphie’s is not long AT ALL because...well, it’s Belphie. And it’s me. I’m so-so with Belphie.

Asmodeus

For once, his charm and sin is a double-edged sword

Yes, he’s very experienced and has had many lovers--many splendid little things over hundreds of years--but how to make it unique? How to tell you?

Asmo is very calculated in how he flirts, from what he wears and what he plans to say. He personally believes every relationship should be special. No repeated dates unless both people have a preference for it

So when he decides he likes you, the first thing he does is pull out this BIG ASS BOOK he’s kept for centuries and leafs through it to see what he’s done before

No, it doesn’t matter that 99% of these dates were AGES before you were born. He’s checking the list because YOU DESERVE A SPECIAL DATE!

He’s secretly hoping you’ll get some of the many hints he’ll be dropping, but consulting the book is also a good idea for an official first date

After two weeks of shopping with you, taking spa days, trying to weasel his way into more cuddles, Asmo decides it’s time to pull out The Book idea because you’re not getting it

You’re just distracted by his beauty to see the fact that he’s trying to flirt. It’s fine.

This date idea requires the big guns (really only Diavolo, but he needs Lucifer to get to Diavolo). He’s setting his plan into motion, trying to sweet-talk Lucifer into taking him by Diavolo’s castle but Mammon overhears

The second-eldest is very unimpressed, DARES to mock him while sipping noisily on a soda, and just asks him why he doesn’t tell you straight up.

“Because it’s a stupid, tasteless idea.” Asmodeus scoffs and shoos him away like an annoying little thing as he amps up the charm and resumes his conversation with Lucifer.

“Bet it’ll work.” is all he hears Mammon murmur.

“Look,” Mammon shrugs. flicks his eyes to Asmo and then just nods his head towards you as you come around the corner into the dining room. “You just man up and say, ‘Do you--SMFF!”)

Asmo has never strangled anyone to death but today it might happen

Or he’s going to break this new six inch heel off in Mammon’s mouth (or his ass)

With Mammon sufficiently strangled (or choking on his soda, he’s not sure which) Asmo, plays it cool (barely) as you pass through to do something else (thank god!)

Highly amused, Lucifer agrees to help him

By the end of the week Asmodeus has a cute greenhouse picnic planned. Only Satan and Lucifer know

He’s pretty scarce around the House of Lamentation, even turning Solomon down once or twice, but it’s all worth it for the set up. He even bought special flowers

Barbatos escorts you through the winding greenhouse that almost seems lush and trim enough to be part of the Royal Gardens. He stops just before a manicured arch of flowers, the walkway studded with garden lights, stepping stones, and beautiful roses

He goads you forward, sending you on your way. The little roses perk up and explode into gorgeous blooms

And they’re talking?! One of the notecards say they’re a Devildom brand of rose--a mimicrose. The flower acts like a recorded, hiding a secret message, and blooms when it’s delivered to the right person

Your face lights up a gorgeous flattered color as you make your way down the trail compliments popping up every step

Asmo’s waiting at the end of the arches, looking like the cat that ate the canary with his catered spread. Sitting pretty on the classic checkered blanket.

You only kind of hear the last rose confess--Asmo’s voice going quiet and shy as he swears he really, really loves you

The demon in front of you seems very far from that shy voice but you catch the tinge of pink on his cheeks. He saunters up to you and says something witty about how only he could be perfect for you, and that only perfect him could set all this up!

You two have a cute, quiet date with little cakes and finger foods

Diavolo sends Lucifer a text with a blurry photo saying he ‘photobombed’ you two, but doesn’t realize he has to be in the photo for it to count. Lucifer still thinks it’s a cute picture

Beelzebub:

It takes Beel a while to come around to the fact that he might like you

Not because he doesn’t like you, but because he’s equally comfy being friends. Friends are fine, too.

Even as a friend he still gets that giddy rush when he holds you, that flood of warmth when he impresses you, so for a while he thinks he has the best of both worlds

When that balance starts to feel threatened, the realization creeps in

Then he realizes there’s no going back and if he doesn’t say anything, you get caught up with other people and he’ll miss you. You just won’t be around as much anymore!

When someone on the Fangol team starts getting a little too curious and close, the red flags go flying in Beel’s mind. He needs to tell you and tell you now!

Probably doesn’t have an extensive dating history and is, in general, the best sweet boi, so he’ll ask around for ideas. The second someone suggests a cupcake message or cake message, he’s done. No more ideas! That’s the best one!

To put his feelings in it, Beel decides to make the cupcakes himself. He buys enough to make 3 or 4 dozen cupcakes because he anticipates stress eating at least two batches

And the ugly ones. Can’t give you ugly ones!

He takes full advantage of Asmo or whoever getting you out of the house, throwing on a little apron and getting to work. Belphie supervises, occasionally scolding him

Beel eats a few cupcakes more than he’s supposed to and decides to draw frosting people so the space doesn’t feel empty

His frosting spelling isn’t that great. One of the words look weird. More than one, actually

Trying to write over it just makes extra frosting, unreadable globs

Beel eats that one, then realizes he messed up some of the topping, so he smooths it out and tries again

Belphie plays wingman, fully aware of his brother panicking over presentation and trying to spell (and not squeeze the life out of the frosting bag), and writes little love messages on the wrappers

It’s stuff he’s heard Beel say in his sleep for at least a week.

Beel resigns himself to a mash of cupcakes that are kind of readable and way less than what he planned to have. He doesn’t know Belphie’s done a gradual bait and switch of the cupcake liners since he’s eaten just as many as he’s made

You see a smiley face and the frosting people and it’s enough to melt your heart

Beel is speckled in flour and frosting (he’s got crumbs on the corner of his mouth), and he looks adorably awkward in the apron. He’s so nervous he’s in his demon form, wings buzzing frantically behind him.

It’s like he wants to take off and make nervous circles around you.

He stutters out an awkward ‘I like you’ and mumbles other things. Belphie, who’s curled up under the prep table, grumbles out ‘READ THE LINERS!’ before snuggling down again

You and Beel go on a cute little hunt to pick and read the wrappers, splitting cupcakes with each other.

At the end of it you’re very full and very happy. And Beel’s extra delighted because you smell (and taste) like cupcakes.

Belphegor

Does he like you like you, or just like the fact that you don’t bother him?

In his book, you’re not terrible. Not annoying. You don’t wake him up on purpose, and you seem to get along with Beel.

Not bad, right?

Maybe this means he just doesn’t have high standards?

He knows he wouldn’t mind napping with you. Maybe that means he likes you?

One night, when he’s hit that ‘slept all day’ high and he’s awake and thinking it over. He asks Beel about it because who else would know him better than his twin?

Then he learns. OH BOY DOES HE LEARN!

Apparently he talks about you in his sleep? And he blushes? CUDDLES THE PILLOW?

Beel is hardly worried about the threats, the finger pointing in his face, and the way he’s bobbing his head like a bull about to charge. It’s just standard little brother things! Very cute!

Belphegor feels bad and a little unworthy to date you. His sin is very taxing and he spends a lot of the time napping. Is it really a good idea?

It’s a heavy issue to think about, and he dreams.

Belphegor has always believed that dreams are a way for you to work out the issues you have when you’re awake, so he’s not surprised to dream about you

The dreams are so vivid, so heart-warming, and he’s so happy. It’s all about you and him--snippets of dates that he can’t completely see. He’s not sure where you’re at or what led up to the moments, but they’re all a happy, quiet cuddle that gives him more energy than he’s felt in a while

He knows, then, that he should at least ask you. When he gets his next burst of rested energy, he’s going to confess

Belphegor’s nearly scared straight out of bed when he sees you tentatively approaching it. He musters up enough concentration to hold a conversation and is VERY embarrassed to find he basically called you here

Almost like a subliminal message, or sharing a dream, you just simply had to come and tell him about the adorably awkward dream. It was very cuddly and kind of put you in a cuddling mood

Belphegor’s got a major case of sleep brain but it sounds like YOU actually just confessed

Plays the big card--go big or go home!--”If you like me, get in the bed.”

Realizes about 3 seconds later how that sounds. Is very embarrassed and wants to hide under his blankets and die.

He’s already wormed under them and is firmly cocooned (so he doesn’t have to look you in the face or see if you stay) “You know...if you like me. Want to cuddle and stuff...like a couple...”

He feels your weight spread out along his bed and scoops you up like a blanket monster. It’s like being swallowed by a fitted sheet, blanket coming at you from all sides, and you both laugh about it.

Belphegor is a big fan of the private cuddle pile

#Obey me!#Obey me! x reader #Asmodeus x Reader #Asmodeus #Belphegor x Reader #Belphie x Reader #Beelzebub x Reader

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browniefox · 3 years

Text

@wrightfamilyweek day 1 - Pride and Joy :D

This is a sequel to my oneshot ‘Trucy and the Week Long Paranoia Game’ that you can read here.

Phoenix and Trucy talk about reasons for adopting someone.

oOo

It’s the end of a week of fear and worry and anxiety, and twenty-four hours spent on a plane. A moment of silence from all the questions rattling through her head, with Mr. Miles Edgeworth behind her, and now Trucy is back in California, back home, and her daddy is right there. The next thing to do is all too clear.

Trucy hugs her daddy and cries.

After Trucy has bawled into Daddy’s shoulder for what feels like a week and Daddy’s tears have drenched her hair, and her face has been covered in layers and layers of kisses, Daddy finally pulls away from her, a clear reluctance to the action, and grabs onto Miles’ hand. Then, with a quick and sudden yank that makes the man stumble, Daddy pulls Miles into hug too.

“God, Miles, really, thank you.” Daddy says fervently, insistently.

“Nnngh, o-of course.” Miles says. His words come out a little haltingly, but he returns the hug almost immediately.

“If… if you’re already here, you know, you should stay for a bit.” Daddy tells Miles. With them hugging like that, Trucy bets that Miles can’t see Daddy’s face, how hopeful it looks right then.

“... perhaps you’re right. It’s a long trip across the ocean, and a hard one to make in quick succession like your daughter just has. Perhaps we could meet up… tomorrow?” Miles offers.

“Well, my office-”

“Does not have nearly enough room to put up another person. I’ll see you tomorrow, Wright. Go home and… and talk to your daughter.” Miles’ eyes flicker over to her and he whispers something into Daddy’s ear. Daddy nods, looks at her too, and then nods again.

“Okay,” Daddy gives Miles a pat on the back, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Trucy sees how Daddy’s hand lingers on Miles shoulder for one, two, three seconds before he steps back to Trucy. He ruffles her hair and gives her forehead yet another kiss and squishes her face in his hands, all familiar actions from him, all things he’s done before. Something feels off about each and every one of them. She isn’t sure what makes them different. Maybe it’s him. Maybe it’s her.

It must be her. Her fault. From running away.

Trucy still feels gross from the plane ride, and there’s a brief moment where she thinks she might just throw up again. She doesn’t. What she does do is grab onto Daddy’s hand, holding onto it tightly. Her hand fits perfectly like that. Daddy squeezes her hand back just as tightly. With that, the two of them and Miles walk out of the airport.

There’s a big man waiting for them outside. She recognizes him, but only barely. His name is far more familiar to Trucy, the Detective Dick Gumshoe of Daddy’s old case files, the man who worked most of the murders that Daddy’s clients were accused of. Daddy had shown her a picture of the Detective, once, and told her that if she was ever in trouble and needed police help, she should talk to Gumshoe, because Gumshoe is a good man, and a friend, and she can trust him. Unless she’s been arrested, in which case nobody is her friend and she shouldn’t say or do anything until she’s talked to a lawyer.

(Trucy remembers right after her First Daddy disappeared how a bunch of policemen tried to talk to her about it, and her Daddy - then just Phoenix Wright, just the old boy who she’d handed off a piece of paper to and was supposed to help her First Daddy - telling her that she didn’t have to say anything, didn’t have to tell the policemen anything, even if they were being really mean or really nice or kept asking the same questions or it was going on for a really long time. He told her that just before policemen took him away so they could talk to him, too.)

“Oh good, she is okay,” Gumshoe sighs in relief, visibly slumping with emotion. He then sees Miles and his back straightens right out, “Mr. Edgeworth, sir, good to see you again!”

“Likewise, Gumshoe.” Miles says, his mouth twitching into a bare-bones smile. Despite its thin appearance, the expression has an odd kind of warmth to it that surprises Trucy. Miles had been kind throughout the entire flight, but also clearly uncomfortable, not talking to her much. He seemed to try and distract himself with anything and everything he could, but there was a tension and rigidness throughout his entire form from the moment the plane took off until it landed. He kept looking at her almost like he expected her to explode, like a bomb. Now, though, Miles looks much more in control of himself as well as his surroundings, “I’ll admit, however, that I’m surprised to find the police already on this case. I thought a missing person couldn’t be reported until twenty-four hours have passed.”

“Well, not officially, no, but I might’ve seen what I could do, you know, just with my own time.” Gumshoe says, scratching the back of his head. Daddy grins and pats Gumshoe on the back.

“Dick came running as soon as he heard. Really put up with me those first twelve hours.” Daddy says.

“Well, just because police work slow doesn’t mean we always have to! And, well, it’s your girl, we all know how much you worry about her.”

The three adults talk some more, but the sound of their voices seems to fade away as Trucy stares down at her shoes. Daddy was worried about her. Of course he was, but he’d been worried the entire time. She feels silly, now, for having run away, for having doubted him. But even then, even now, she isn’t sure what he wants from her. ‘Nothing’ is the answer, apparently, but still, still the other shoe feels like it’s hovering at eye-level, just waiting to drop.

Daddy’s still holding her hand. She gives it a squeeze, and he squeezes it back, and she tunes back into the three talking adults.

“Well, since I’m here, I can give you a ride to wherever it is you need to get to!” Gumshoe offers Miles.

“Hm, I already ordered a ride, but perhaps you could drive me by the prosecutor’s office before I head to my hotel. Wright, why don’t you take my ride.” Miles offers. Daddy stiffens slightly, in that way he does when a game looks like it’s starting to slip through his fingers, or when people on the street give him weird looks and start whispering and she gives his hand yet another squeeze.

“Miles, I really don’t-”

“Wright, it’s already been paid for. I, of course, have no issue letting such a frivolous amount of money go by, but there’s little to no reason to let something like this pass you by when you’re this far from the office at this hour of night, when most buses have already stopped working.” Miles says it with swiftness and clarity, leaving no room for argument. Daddy, however, still looks like he might try and argue anyway, so Trucy adds in her own opinion, tugging, Daddy’s arm a little and saying,

“Daddy, I wanna go home.”

The stubborn-expression that had been forming onto his face melts away almost immediately.

“Alright, let’s go home.” He says.

Daddy exchanges another hug with Miles and then one with Gumshoe. Gumshoe puts out his hand to give Trucy a handshake, but she gives him a big hug anyway and he chuckles, something that shakes through his entire chest, that she can feel when held up against it like that. It’s very nice. She might just like Gumshoe. Miles starts to go for a handshake, then aborts it halfway through, and gives her an awkward pat on the head.

“Be good for your father.” He says with a certain amount of ferventness.

“I will.” She tells him. She grabs the sleeve of his shirt and pulls on it until he catches on and kneels down to her level. Then, she gives him a pat on the head right back. He looks surprised, and Daddy laughs. Miles surprised expression morphs into a scowl, but there’s no heat behind it as he stands back up, rolling his shoulders and crossing his arms.

“I’ll be off then. I shall stop by your office tomorrow around noon. Please try and tidy it up, Maya tells me you’ve made the place into a hellscape.” He says hauntily.

“No promises.” Daddy says.

Miles and Gumshoe leave, and then she and daddy climb into a car. The stranger in the front offers them his ipad to play games on, but Daddy rejects it. Trucy mainly stares out the window, and when she looks over, Daddy is too. His hand is out, though, still holding onto hers.

The car drops them off at the hotel across from the office, and they cross the street and climb the stairs back to home. The night is dark and quiet, and Trucy can’t help but to think it feels like a calm before a storm. She’s seen Daddy frustrated before, and get in fights with others before, but she doesn’t think she’s ever seen him be well and truly mad. Now was probably as good a time as any, though. She wonders if it’ll be like Grandpa’s anger, all cold and silent. Maybe it’ll be like first Daddy’s, loud and raging, just barely a second away from throwing something.

“I know you’re tired, Trucy, but we need to talk.” Daddy says before Trucy can slip into her room. Slowly, she walks away from her door. He’s sitting on the couch, and he pats the spot next to him. She hops up. Daddy runs a hand over his face, feeling the stubble on his chin. He’s looking straight forward, not at her.

“Yes Daddy?” Trucy says. Daddy sighs, ending back on the couch, now looking up at the ceiling.

“... Trucy, you know I want what’s best for you, right?”

Trucy doesn’t know what to say to that at first, and the moment stretches on for far far too long. Daddy sighs again.

“I know that, but…” Trucy bites on her lip, “But isn’t there something else you want?”

“‘Something else I want’?” Daddy repeats. Trucy is avoiding looking at him. Her heart has relocated to her throat and her stomach is doing somersaults.

“I-it’s okay, I know I’m… but whatever it is you want from me, I just wanna know, okay?” Trucy swings her feet.

“Truce, why do you think I want something from you?” Daddy presses. Trucy shrugs and swings her feet harder.

“That’s what parents do. And after I… after what I…” She tries and tries and tries to say she gave him the piece of paper that got him disbarred, that she knows she did, that she’s really really sorry about it, but the words all stick to her tongue and get bungled up inside of her. Her face is getting hot, and her eyes are getting hot, and her chest feels like it’s going to explode.

“... Trucy, if you’re not happy here, you know you just have to tell me. Your happiness is what’s most important, okay?”

“But I am happy here!” Trucy wails, and just like that the flood gates give way and she starts sobbing. She turns and grabs onto her Daddy, crying into his soft gray hoodie, and he wraps her up in another hug, holding her close to him.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, hey it’s alright, I’m right here.” He says, a constant mumbling mantra. And he is right there, and he’s nice,and great, and willing to listen to her, and play with her. He’s not perfect, but he’s definitely trying, she can see that, she knows that.

“... j-j-just please, tell-tell me what you w-w-want from me! Please, Daddy!” Trucy cries, trembling, “M-Miles says you don’t want anything, b-but-but that can’t be right! You-you gotta want something! I-is it my help-help-help with poker? Is it revenge against my Daddy somehow? Is-is-is it something else! Please just t-t-t-tell me!” Trucy buries her face even more into him. He’s rubbing circles into her back, making little soothing ‘shush’ing sounds. He doesn’t say anything until she’s quieted down a bit.

“I guess I should’ve expected it was something big. Why else would you go all the way to Germany over it, huh?” He mumbles, “Truce, I didn’t have some kind of secret or evil motive behind taking you in. You were a kid, all alone. It wasn’t really a choice at all. I know what it’s like, to feel like the whole world is against you, and you’re alone and little and confused about what’s going on. I didn’t even think about how it might’ve looked to you. Or, well, I guess Miles brought it up, but I didn’t want to think about it.

“I… I am selfish, maybe, for wanting you to stay here. Trucy, you’re one of the few good things that have come to me in the past year, alright? Seeing you perform, seeing your smile, hearing your laughter… it means the world to me, okay? And if you’re not happy here - no, let me finish - if you’re not happy here, we can find somewhere where you can be, okay? I know I’m not like Zak; I don’t let you perform whenever you want, and I try to keep more track of your location, and I imagine it must be hard adjusting to my rules instead of the ones you were raised with. But I’m willing to learn and get better. And if that means starting with telling you that you matter to me, Trucy, that I love you, and that my reason for adopting you and keeping you around is just because I love you and the light you give my life, then I’ll start there, okay?”

Daddy gives her a small smile. He’s so open right now, and honest, no little tells twitching upon him.

Trucy squeezes onto his lap and lets herself be held for even longer.

Daddy isn’t Grandpa, or first Daddy, or Vallant, or anybody from the circus. He’s just Daddy, and maybe Trucy is still trying to figure out what htat means, but Daddy is trying to figure that out too.

They’re going to figure it out together.

“I love you, Daddy,” She tells him, “And I’m not going anywhere.”

#wrightweek21 #ace attorney #wright family week #phoenix wright #trucy wright #fanfiction #fanfic #browniefox writes

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