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vaingloury · 1 year

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A Review of D&D 4e of all things

I have a ttrpg bucket-list of sorts, an itinerary of games I want to play eventually. Among those is every edition of D&D. Or, at least, D&D up to 5e. I don’t think I’m interested in One D&D. I’m pretty close to crossing this item off the list; all I have left to play are the various permutations of original D&D, BECMI (if it counts as substantially different enough from B/X) and 3.0.

I just recently got around to playing 4e. Fourth edition always had a sort of mystique around it for me, it being the black sheep of the editions. There’s also a strain of 4e-alikes/heavily 4e-inspired games being cultured in the indie tabletop sphere at the moment (Lancer, Fabula Ultima) that got me curious. I like tactical combat (which is this edition’s thing) so I figured what the hey.

For reference, I am the GM (as always).

The Good

Easy to prep. One of the things that made me stop playing 5e was the amount of prep, whether it was trying to balance the unwieldy CR system, working around player characters' busted abilities, or trying to ignore the ways in which the implicit worldbuilding of the system clashed with my homebrew setting. That is not the case with 4e. Prep is looking up stat blocks and making up guys for the party to talk to. That’s it.

Easy to reskin races. A weirdly specific one for sure but I personally don’t like what others call the “travelling freakshow” party. When I run D&D-like games, you get your pick of human, elf-/dwarf-/halfling-analogue, and wildcard. Races in 4e don’t have many quirks that need to be overwritten when reskinning so the players could easily pick whatever appeals to them as long as it’s an “elf” in the fiction.

Combat is tactical. I was surprised to learn that 4e’s combat would give my experience with B/X combat a run for its money. Getting hit actually feels threatening. Stage hazards add complexity because they can interrupt the effective range of characters’ magic shields and bursts. Certain moves set off interesting little chain reactions if properly set up beforehand. Sometimes, things still do damage when they miss. Huge improvement over 5e’s nick-miss-crit-miss-miss RNG slog.

Neutral

Skill challenges. Not bad, not good. Just ...there. It feels like the designers were trying to emulate other tabletop rpgs that have dice pools/mixed success mechanics but worse. I have trouble coming up with scenarios where a skill challenge would be different enough from or better than just rolling checks as usual.

Not ADHD friendly. This one’s a me problem. I’m finding it difficult to keep up with all the buff and penalty changes every round. We’re using a VTT and status effect icons, but it’s not like a video game where I can select a character to see what they’re afflicted with and how many turns that lasts at a glance.

Samey classes. Maybe it gets better at higher levels (we’re level 3 at the time of writing) but as for now, it feels like the only difference between the martials and casters is that casters need to stay at long range to protect their smaller pool of HP. The magic-users aren’t very magical outside of combat either. 4e invented the ritual casting mechanic that carried into 5e except here, everyone can do it, it just costs magic-users less. M-U spells also have no utility outside of combat unless your players get creative (so far, the group I'm playing with is very much ‘stay in the box, follow the laser pointer’). This avoids casters being inherently better than martials like in 5e but at the cost of uniqueness and non-combat problem solving utility.

Combat is slow. Myself and one of the players are new to 4e so part of the slowness is inexperience. But in general, characters are able to essentially set up video game-like “combos” of 2-3 actions that may have effects that persist in later rounds. Mercifully, this group is good about knowing what they want to do on their turn but that doesn’t seem to do anything to mitigate each encounter taking up more than half of each session. This campaign was supposed to be 4-5 sessions and I fear it may turn into 8-10. If I weren’t trying to stick close enough to the books as a first timer, I might experiment with enemies having 25% less HP and doing 25% more damage to speed things up.

The Bad

No exploration procedures. I haven’t played 3.5e from the GM’s side (or much at all as a player) to get a sense of how exploration is supposed to be ruled. Based on my experiences here and with 5e, it seems WoTC-era D&D has something against compelling dungeon- and wilderness- crawls. Resource management is mostly non-existent excepting item weight and action/surge points. Random encounters are phased out. DMG 1 has a section on random dungeon creation but no mention of how to make dungeons not just feel like a series of rooms. 4e’s default setting, Nentir Vale, is supposed to be a vast frontier where civilization is sparse but dangers are numerous and yet there are no rules supporting that kind of campaign. I could houserule things in, sure, but why buy a rulebook if I have to do the game designers’ job for them?

Wealth treadmill. This is one of the weirdest fucking things in any edition of D&D. Apparently, the design team fell asleep at the wheel at some point and forgot that the party characters’ attack bonuses need to gradually scale in order to be able to actually hit ever-increasing enemy AC. So they patched the issue by having there be a mandatory number of to-hit enhancing magic items the party must have at each level, as well as an amount of money necessary to buy said items. If you’re allergic to the idea of magic-item Wal-Mart as I am, that means you need to either a) place these items in dungeons and hope that your party both goes to that specific dungeon and finds those specific items or b) they anti-diagetically just appear in their inventory upon level up. Partway into the edition, they kind of fixed this with a new system called “inherent bonuses” (it is what it sounds like), however, there’s still an expectation of 2-3 magic items per level, which you need to shower your party in money in order for them to create or buy the items. Commonality of magic items really makes them feel so much less special, in my eyes. Not to mention, like the lack of utility casting I mentioned earlier, magic items are purely for combat enhancement, not fun or flavour.

Combat is everything. Unless your group really likes unprompted roleplay, there’s not much to this system outside of combat. I’ve read through a few official modules, and in them, talking to NPCs is just a means to finding your way into another combat encounter so you can punch the kobolds in the way of your level-mandated magic items. You could talk your way out of things but, besides the GM calling for the occasional Bluff or Stealth check, you aren’t interfacing with the mechanics. I’ve seen D&D as a whole accused of this but I really feel burdened by it in 4e. I’m not even sure what kinds of stories you could tell with 4e that wouldn’t be enhanced by switching rpgs beyond wartime scenario, gladiator tournament, dungeon siege...

Verdict

Like 5e, it’s serviceable and easy enough to learn but uncomplicated where I would like to see more and overcomplicated where I would like to see less. I’m not sure I can stand it for more than a few sessions a year. I'd be more interested had 4e been a FF Tactics style video game or a minifigs tabletop wargame like Age of Sigmar.

#b #ttrpg

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writemedrawme · 4 years

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Negan NSFW Alphabet

*not my gif*

WARNINGS: this some sexy ass content right here bby. Oh yeah and bad language words.

Like this fic?? $5 gets you an NSFW Alphabet fic for the character of your choice. Dm for deets my peeps

A: Aftercare

Negan's aftercare is to bring you close, hold you tight, and pepper you with kisses. He mumbles all the things that you did that he loved and how sexy he thinks you are and oof... that growly voice in your ear almost gets you going all over again. The man is SEXY.

B: Body Part

Negan's favorite body part of yours are definitely you're hips. He likes to squeeze them when he stands behind you to hint that he's in the mood (as if he ever isn't), when you lean into his chest after a long day, when he's pounding you into the mattress, when you're riding him... he loves your hips and hot damn does he love to grab them.

Your favorite part of Negan is probably his tongue. It’s sexy when he looks at you and teasingly licks his lips or leans down to tell you something and licks your neck instead. His tongue is always in your mouth or running across your lips, and fuck when it's in between your legs it is heavenly. Yeah, tongue. Definitely tongue.

C: Cum

Negan likes to cum in you, but if you don't have a condom he likes to cum on your stomach or your lower back. He likes to see you coated in him, panting and sweaty and delicious.

D: Dirty Secret

Let's be real, Negan doesn't have many sex secrets. He's pretty open. However, one thing he keeps pretty private is how much he loves to watch you lead. Not necessarily in the bedroom, even though he loves that too, but what I'm referring to is when you lead people on runs, in training, or even just around Alexandria in general. He likes to stand near the back as you teach people to shoot or fight, he loves when you bark orders at the people you guide on runs, and fuckin hell does he love when somebody screws up. You are in general such a kind person, but every day can be a life or death situation. There's no room for pleasantries, and boy do you make that known. Watching you yell and scold people makes you look so powerful and so fucking sexy, and Negan loves it.

E: Experience

Unsurprisingly, Negan is quite experienced. Sometimes it makes you jealous, but it works out well for you. The man can eat you, fuck you, finger you, and kiss you like no other. He is a sex master.

F: Favorite Position

Negan likes to watch you. Every roll of your eyes and gaping of your mouth he wants to watch. He wants to soak in every look on your face. Not that he'll say no to doggy or reverse cowgirl, but missionary and regular cowgirl are definitely his favorites.

G: Goofy

He's not quite goofy, but Negan does smile a lot. Every time you squeak or cry out the biggest shit eating smile appears on his face.

H: Hair

Negan has a certain style about him, so he tends to be pretty clean cut. There's just enough hair to be rugged, but not so much that it's overwhelming.

I: Intimacy

Yes, Negan loves you pound you so hard you have bruises on your hips, but he also enjoys when one of you is in a more passionate mood. He kisses your neck and mumbles in your ear and holds your hand and shows you more love than you can handle. He pours all of himself into you (heh) and treats you like the treasure you are to him. And then he probably fucks your brains out.

J: Jack Off

A common occurrence is for you to take a shower and Negan to follow you. He sits on the (closed) toilet, and watches, grinning. As you shower he eventually unbuckles his pants and begins to rub himself, and then either joins you or waits for you to finish and scoops you up to bring you to the bed.

K: Kink

One time on a run you happened to wander into an old CVS. As you were looking around, you two found a tube of red lipstick. Long story short, Negan has a huge kink for a red ring of lipstick left staining his dick.

L: Location

Anywhere. Literally anywhere. On a run, in the garden at night, in your bed, in someone else's bed, in one of the vans, anywhere. His favorite place, however, is definitely his bed. The more room the better.

M: Motivation

As mentioned earlier, watching you be the tough, drill sergeant-esque survivor that you are is enough to get that man hard. You get this no bullshit look in your eye that literally shrinks people. You're strict and blunt, yet still kind, and it's obvious you care for your people.

N: No

Negan is not into foot stuff. Obviously he's also not into causing you pain or anything, but aside from that, foot stuff. There's nothing wrong with feet, and he'd try whatever you wanted, but feet are just not his thing. He does, however, like to rub your feet at the end of the day.

O: Oral

Obviously he loves when you blow him. It's sexy to watch and it feels so damn good. While he does love this, however, he loves eating you even more. He locks his arms over your stomach to keep you in place and feel you squirm, and he loves when you pull his hair.

P: Pace

If you're going for a slow, passionate love making session, Negan grinds and pumps until you're seeing stars. He's slow, his rhythm is teasing and his thrusts are deep.

When you're fucking, this man could damn well split you the fuck in half. He'll pin your hands above your head or let you scratch at his back and he will go to town.

Q: Quickie

Yes. All the quickies. Negan sees it as a game; how quick can he make your legs shake?

R: Risk

Negan doesn't care to take a risk as long as you're comfortable. If somebody sees you he hopes they're jealous as hell that he gets you.

S: Stamina

When he's tired, you get to ride. He'll go all night, back and forth between the two of you, and then you'll sleep all day and start again when one of you wakes up.

T: Toy

Negan doesn't care for dildos, but he LOVES vibratory. Specifically a vibrating cock ring you two found forever ago. He loves the way you grip him and yell when it all gets to be too much, and it feels pretty damn good to him too.

U: Unfair

Negan loves to look at you and lick his lips when he knows you dont have time to jump his bones. Teasing squeezes, looks, smacks and faces all day until you finally get home and get to fuckin - not that you don't do your fair share of teasing...

V: Volume

Yes, Negan likes to dirty talk, and yes, he's good at it, but your favorite thing is when his eyes close and he lets out a deep, low groan. He's so put together all the time, such a character. When there's a moment he loses control of his voice or his face it gets you wetter than pretty much anything else.

W: Wildcard

Negan. Loves. 69.

He gets a blowjob ???? and a face full of pussy ???? ALL AT ONCE ????

Yes the fuck please

X: X Ray

Negan isn't abnormally thick, but the man is LONG. You swear he hits your guts with every deep thrust. You can't even attempt to get him down your throat.

Y: Yearning:

It's Negan. The man is always horny as hell.

Z: ZZZ

Pretty much as soon as you're both sure you can't fuck any more you're both out like a light - until of course you wake up with his tongue between your legs.

#negan smut #negan imagine #negan x you #alphabet #the walking dead #twd x reader #jeffery dean morgan #commisionwork #commission

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cassthecringe · 3 years

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loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

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randomcanbian · 3 years

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(re: Fandom Meme) B, D, N, P, R, Y ??? (also if you feel like answering T again about anything else pls do (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) (also let the record know that your first answer was *chef kiss* wonderful and should've been canon imo (╯▽╰ ))

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Felix x fem!Byleth from FE3H... I thought it’d be the same as f!Dimileth (the fandom version of it at least) where the man is like ~~ohhhh I’m a monster I’m so broken ahhh I push people away and go on berserker rages because of my tragic backstory~~ and the woman has to be gentle and kind, the epitome of femininity (despite being a mercenary who had been trained to kill since she was 11...), basically put himself above her on so many levels and the onus is on her to ~~fix him~~~...but apparently not??? The fancontent is so gorgeous and has them as equals, both lonely people who’ve had their childhood taken away from them, both who’ve closed themselves off from the world (or in Byleth’s case, has never known how to open herself up to it), both of them seeing themselves in each other, both taking it upon themselves to meet each other half-way and from thereon help each other process their past and walk forward into the future...damn man, the kinship and the partnership in this ship... (also it really helps that 1. Felix is awed at Byleth’s swordsmanship and tactical mind and pushes himself to surpass it, forming a foundation for a healthy rivalry 2. the fandom does not forget that Byleth is her own person and not just Felix’s partner *cough* Dimileth *cough* Edeleth *cough*)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t

Hmmmm well sometimes I wished (in general) that I could actively ship mlm couples, just because there’s so much content for them :)) (don’t get me started on how fandom gravitates towards male characters and mlm ships...lmao someone way back then gave me the excuse that it’s because the actual creators put more effort into their male characters and that they end up becoming more complex and interesting and like *looks at my fandoms where there are just as many girls as guys, just as interesting (if not more so) backstories and dynamics and interactions for the female characters, looks at the sheer number of mlm shippers in those fandoms who squeeze the most out of every insignificant moment for their male characters while ignoring the depth and complexity of the female characters* sure)

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

Glee

1. Fanfic with more “out-there” ideas :)) (Don’t get me wrong, there are fanfics that fall far from Glee’s high school/young adult/modern-coming-of-age setting, and even for fics that do fall under those spheres there are some that deal with complex, intricate themes in such an incredible manner or even if not that are just plain enjoyable but like,,, there aren’t enough for my ever-expanding hunger HAHA)(my last couple of fandoms were dark fantasy/sci-fi/whatever The Good Place is so I guess I just got spoiled lmao)

2. More analytical thinking LMAO I guess it just frustrates me that there are so many people in the fandom who take things at face value??? Given how biased the writers are and how shit they are at continuity it really doesn’t make sense to me that so many people take things so literally haha

3. More fanart unu I totally understand though that the fandom isn’t as big as it once was but a girl can dream, you know?

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

Something that I had wanted to write for Brittana (since 2012!) but never had the brain cells to: a sailor!AU where the characters live on a flat world and they’re trying to sail towards its edge (encountering so many mythical beasts and legends on the way) (may or may not be inspired by C.S. Lewis’ The Voyage of the Dawn Treader haha)

Special mention to this AU since I've used for at least three fandoms by now haha: Pygmalion&Galatea!AU wherein one character creates a statue and her love for it brings it to life :)))

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

LMAO I went through Bae Doona’s body of work (what was available of it at least) in 2015 and ended up shipping her character Park Hyun-nam with her best friend (Yoon Jang-mi) in 플란다스의 개 (Barking Dogs Never Bite)...I wrote a very small ficlet of them (I literally had to create the section for them in ao3...and lmao I just checked and I am still the only fic in there HAHA)(please don’t look for my account btw all my fics are so self-indulgent and atrocious huhu) and I also made this gifset of them :))) As far as I know I am literally the only one in the entire world who ships them HAHA

Similar story for her character Ri Bun-hui in 코리아 (As One)...although honestly if it turns out that a decent number of people have seen this movie I’d be surprised that no one else shipped Bun-hui with Hyun Jung-hwa??? Because they??? Tennis table rivals from North Korea and South Korea who have to team up to win at the Olympics??? Jung-hwa trying to get Bun-hui and her team to loosen up??? Them becoming closer??? When the Olympics are over and the North Korea team have to go home, and Jung-hwa chases after the bus and tries to reach for Bun-hui’s hand, realizing that they might never see each other again??? I??? (Just...I had to make this gifset of their hands: when they first meet each other, when one takes the other’s for comfort, the last time their fingers will ever touch...)(Also let’s ignore that it’s a re-telling of real life event akjsndaskj haha)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all

(Thank you roseate ;u; I’m glad that you agree and are interested with my headcanons ;o;)

Santana’s a trivia nerd and is the type to deep-dive down Wikipedia pages which is why she makes all those obscure references :))) (Also a more specific version of this headcanon, not something that I’d die defending but like,,, something that I won’t let anyone take away from me lmao is that she’s a TV/movie buff, dabbles in comics (specifically, DC and follows character like Wonder Woman, the Birds of Prey, Poison Ivy/Harleyquinn, Batwoman, and Renee Montoya), and started getting a little into theater/musicals after spending time with Kurt and Rachel :))) She also has a record player back in Lima and has a bunch of vinyl records back home (back in high school she’d play a couple of slow songs and just slow dance with Britt in the privacy of their bedrooms uwu)(imagine this scene and this song playing in the background ;u;)

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

BTS, because so many of my friends are KPOP fans

Genshin, also because so many of my friends are into it

魔道祖师 (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) because my close friend fangirls over them so much and we just exchange anecdotes with me and Glee/Fire Emblem and her and TGDC

Critical Role and My Brother, My Brother and Me podcast because my gf is a huge fan of them :))

Not quite there yet, but I am looking forward to having Dostoevsky’s extended universe as a secondhand fandom HAHA

#ask meme #thank you for the questions!!!#(mayhaps you'd like to do the ask meme yourself so I could ask my own questions 👀)#(also I am so so sorry for taking so long with replying to your messages ;o;)#(you ask the most interesting things friend and I gotta make sure that what I'm saying isn't complete gibberish aksjdnasjkdna)#(also!!! feel free to chat me up on tumblr even if I haven't replied yet (if you want to!))#(I may take forever to answer messages but I'm a lot more prompt with short-form chatting ;u;)#(also ngl I miss hearing your Thoughts hehe))#roseateinferno

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irene-sadler · 3 years

Text

Sir Reynard and the Red Knight

(aka 'The Tournament')

special notes:

the vibe i chose for this imaginary fair/holiday is a mashup of pieces from medieval christmas and new year's eve celebrations. ofc as I mentioned before most of those were Christianity-based, but some of them had a distintly pre-Christian Anglo-Saxon pagan flavor. now my source material here is from 1827, but the author makes sure to let us know which traditions (he thinks) are older than Christianity. the book (books actually, there's 3 of them total) itself is also kind of a fun read, it's sort of a combo of an almanac/calendar/reference guide/gossip column.

a n y w a y, so, specifically i want to mention (b/c i stole them for this story and i don't want to do that without letting ppl know these are or were real traditions that real people observed) serving a boars' head on christmas day (Essex, England, observed "from time immemorial"), the wassail bowl/toast (a new year custom very definitely from before Christianity and apparently present in various parts of Europe altho I don't have the specific expertise to explain why), and an interesting/weird/gruesome Christmas parade (Kent) which the book describes: "A party of young people procure the head of a dead horse, which is affixed to a pole about four feet in length, a string is tied to the lower jaw, a horse cloth is then attached to the whole, under which one of the party gets, and by frequently pulling the string keeps up a loud snapping noise." This is called a Hodening and whether or not ppl still do it I don't know but, uh, i hope so b/c awesome.

also theres only 1 chapter left if u stuck with it this whole time or, idk, it's 2024 and u read the whole thing at once thanks for bothering love u

----

“Yes, hello,” Gascon said, pretending not to notice Meve’s displeasure. “Good afternoon, ladies,” he added, as the Baroness and Giselle turned to look curiously down at where he stood in the shadows. The Baroness frowned and pursed her lips judiciously; Giselle considered him and glanced uncertainly at the older women.

“Anyway,” he continued, an edge of urgency buried in his easy tone, “Do you have a minute to spare?”

“No,” the Queen said stiffly, turning back toward the empty lists. “I’m busy; whatever it is will have to wait until later.”

“Oh,” he replied, growing very faintly annoyed, “Because it’s about that thing you wanted last night; just thought you’d be interested t’ know I’ve done it.”

She hesitated, ignoring the Baroness’s raised eyebrow and Giselle’s uncomfortable confusion, struggled momentarily between curiosity and base pettiness, and finally said, “Yes, fine; I have a few minutes, I suppose.”

“Fifteen minutes,” the Baroness said, pointedly.

“No time to waste, then,” said Gascon; he winked at Giselle, who took her cue from the Baroness and frowned disapprovingly back at him, and they hurried off.

“So, what is it, then?” Meve asked bluntly, as they turned into the town’s streets at a rapid stroll. “I assume you’ve caught the saboteur, else you wouldn’t have bothered me.”

“Well, I caught Gaheris; he may be the saboteur, or may not,” Gascon said, disregarding her tone. “Gaspar thinks he is, though, and he’s th’ only one who saw th’ intruder close up last night, so odds are good he’s your man.”

“Really?” She abandoned her moodiness in favor of mild surprise, and then asked, “When did this happen?”

“Oh, only about an hour ago. Less, even. Seemed like there was no real need for a public scene, so I just had him snatched off the street and, you know - stashed somewhere convenient,” Gascon explained, leading the way down an alley and into a butcher. The owner nodded and smiled to him as he passed through the door and headed toward the back, spotted the Queen, and instantly looked away at nothing in particular. Pug and Gaspar waited in the yard behind the shop, standing guard over a man with a bag on his head and a bandage around his left ankle. Gascon nodded at Pug and she yanked the bag away; Gaheris squinted in the light and surveyed his surroundings - two large, brightly interested pigs in a pen, his sinister pair of captors, and, finally, Meve and Gascon. He sighed.

“Got ‘im in one piece, as you wanted,” Pug announced in her gruff voice; a dubious claim, as Gaheris had a black eye and a split lip, but Gascon nodded approvingly and jerked his thumb over his shoulder, toward the shop.

“Wait inside for a bit,” he said; Pug and Gaspar departed, leaving their captive to his deserved fate.

“Now, sir,” Meve said briskly to Gaheris; if she had any doubts about his culpability, she kept them firmly to herself. “Let’s not waste time with falsehoods or denials.”

“No,” he said, resignedly, “Doesn’t seem to be much point in trying.”

“Quite. So, explain what it is you’ve been up to, then.”

“Start with last night,” Gascon added, as the squire took a few too many seconds to think it over. “Hurry up.”

“Ah, well. I was trying to get hold of a piece of equipment I knew was among Sir Odo’s things in the barn,” he said. “The girth from a saddle.”

“Continue,” the Queen said, as he paused, clearly thinking the question answered.

“Well, obviously I didn’t get it, since that - that thug sliced my ankle t’ the bone when I tried. Seems the girth held up, though, regardless, through today; probably because Sir Odo don’t take many hits, luckily for him.”

“No, it’s because I found it last night and changed it out for a new one,” Gascon said, angrily. “You’re the one who cut it, are you?”

Gaheris nodded.

“I knew it,” the Duke muttered; Meve waved his self-congratulatory comment away, scowling.

“When did you do it?”

“Oh, a month ago, or more,” he said. “Just before the duel against Sir Holt.”

“Why?”

He blinked at the question and said, as if it was obvious, “Because Sir Holt told me to, in hopes he’d win.”

“You did a bad job, then,” Gascon snapped; Gaheris looked mildly offended.

“No,” he said. “No, I didn’t. The girth held, did it not? Sir Odo won - or, well he could have, if he’d wanted to.”

He looked at his interrogators’ baffled stares, and then explained, patiently, “Look - I cut through the leather, left just enough to hold a strain for a good while, glued it so it’d look like nothing, and told Holt I’d done what he wanted. Simple. I just didn’t have the chance to get it back, after the fight; too many people hanging around who might’ve seen me. If I had done, nobody would have been the wiser.”

Meve stared at him, torn between confusion and anger, opened her mouth, and closed it again as an echo of distant horns bounced off the buildings.

“Damn,” she said. “I have to go. Gascon, find Sir Holt.”

“What should I do with him?” he asked, as she turned to leave; she hesitated, considered her options, and came to a hasty decision.

“Just keep tabs on him, don’t let him leave town, and - and we’ll sort this mess out, later.”

“You’ll find him in the tavern, no doubt,” Gaheris said wearily to Gascon, as she quickly departed.

She nearly ran back through the streets, but she was still late; she returned to the lists to find the Baroness had started the final round without her. However, she she was in time to see Nolda avoid an immediate defeat by the same method she had used on Sir Eres, but Reynard survived her trick, when his fellow knight hadn’t. She nodded in satisfaction at the display.

“Your man is a quick study, as he’s always been,” said the Baroness, as if Meve had never been away. The next pass involved no deceptions from either side, nor any displays of brilliance; Nolda blocked an ordinary sort of attack on her shield, and never touched Sir Odo.

“He’s testing the waters,” Meve said, slightly bored with her favorite’s typically cautious tactics. “How long have they been at it?”

“You only missed one pass; the foreigner’s better at this than I expected.”

“She’s tricky,” Giselle noted, appreciatively. “What’s the Count doing, there?”

There was a short pause; Meve glanced downfield and answered, “Oh, he wants a different lance, I imagine.”

The delay took a full half minute, due to some confusion on Ethan’s part; the Baroness mumbled a displeased remark about the squire’s ineptitude, and then the combat began again.

“He wants to make up for Nolda’s left-handedness,” the Baroness explained, louder, “That’s what the long spear is for. Most people don’t learn to fight the way she does -”

She broke off; Reynard’s change of weapon had answered, and he had dealt a strike that had nearly unseated his opponent; she managed to stay in the saddle by luck or skill and they lined up again.

“He has her figured out; this’ll be th’ end of it,” said Meve. The Baroness nodded agreement. Giselle looked unconvinced, but, in the end, Reynard landed a direct attack to his opponent’s helm and Nolda crashed to earth at long last.

“A devilishly difficult play,” the Baroness said, in the silence that followed. “Dangerous, too.”

Reynard had turned to look behind himself, before his horse had even reached the end of the barricade; Nolda lay still on the ground for a few moments, and then, as her husband vaulted the fence and came running toward her, stirred and sat up. She waved an irritated hand at Bohault and Reynard, who had trotted back and dropped from his horse as soon as he was rid of his lance, but neither paid attention to her gestures or her repeated insistence that she was perfectly fine. The crowd’s general din returned, drowning out their conversation; Meve breathed a relieved sigh and reluctantly turned her thoughts back to Gaheris and Sir Holt, and then - she frowned slightly - Gascon’s mysterious absence during the day.

“Pity you can’t make her a knight,” Giselle said, of Nolda, interrupting her consideration; Meve’s frown grew thoughtful.

“A knight,” she repeated to herself, under her breath, watching the muddle on the field break up - Reynard back to his horse, Bohault and Nolda to hers - a vague connection, or suspicion, growing in the back of her mind. She turned abruptly to the Baroness, interrupted an ongoing reminisce on the handful of times she’d seen another knight employ a tactic similar to Reynard’s winning strike, and said, “Listen, Hilde - the black knight; do you know who he is?”

The Baroness hesitated, slightly confused, and replied, choosing her words carefully, “I believe so, but - wasn’t that what you and the Duke spoke about?”

“No,” the Queen said, disgruntled. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Ah,” she said, looking away toward the approaching victors, “Well, perhaps you should. Count Odo, congratulations on another victory; well fought, Nolda. My lord, you’ve won quite a fine horse, I believe, and you, madam, a sword. They’ll be bringing them along shortly.”

Any personal urgency she felt to finally sort out her ongoing affairs was wasted; the prizes took very little time to hand out, but a number of unrelated problems were brought to her individual attention as soon as the victors rode away. She sent Giselle back to her tavern with genuine gratitude for her service, dealt out various solutions, and then at last she and the Baroness set off toward the castle. The streets of the city were packed, twilight was setting in, and there was no way to hurry their progress no matter how their guard tried. A wagon that had lost a wheel blocked the way, first, and then a succession of other disruptions: a traveling comedic play about a sorcerer and some maidens, some cows wandering loose in the street, a troupe of drunken minstrels playing festive tunes, a strange procession led by a solemn youth holding a freshly cut horse’s head mounted on a pole as a banner, a group of offended clerics in its wake, handcarts selling buns and ale, and, finally, on the bridge over the castle moat, an armored knight still on his charger, who would not be shifted by man or beast until Meve stepped out of the torchlit crowd and threatened to remove him herself.

Then there was yet another feast, this time held in the hall and attended by more of the usual crowd - but, of course, with the horde of knights and sundry that had participated in the jousts, somewhat more of them than normal. There were the typical, expected customs - a boar’s head served, bowls of spiced ale passed around, a number of favors and pardons bestowed, gifts received (and given; Count Odo, for one, courteously gave the warhorse he’d won earlier in the day to Nolda, who accepted it in a fiercely embarrassed but otherwise gracious fashion) - and various other ancient rituals observed.

“I would’ve asked if you thought giving her the horse was a good idea,” Reynard said privately to the Queen, during the Mayor’s inevitable remarks, “But I didn’t catch you in time. If I’m honest it’s less a gift and more a bribe, of a sort; Ethan’s left-handed, same as her, and I thought it might make it easier to convince her to teach him.”

“There were some delays getting back,” she replied, also in an undertone, her eyes resolutely fixed on the speaker as he recited a hopeful list of future developments for the upcoming year. “This whole afternoon’s been nothing but delays, in fact.”

“I’ll tell you about it later,” she added, quickly, as the speech ended, aimed a quick but pointed glance at the distant Gascon, who immediately slipped out a side door, and then dismissed the court in the exact words she’d recited for ten years, and, before her, her late husband, and his father, and their distant grandfathers, for all of remembered history.

Finally getting rid of her guests took much longer than the traditional close to the winter solstice did. As a result, it was past midnight before she made the solitary climb up the stairs to her office, looking forward to finally having a quiet minute to think. However, Reynard and Gascon - and Gaheris - were within, despite the late hour; the squire stopped in the middle of a sentence and all three men automatically turned her way when she stepped through the door. She waved an impatient hand at him to continue and leaned against her own desk, hiding her weariness behind a cold stare. Gaheris returned to repeating his confession; Reynard listened in silence, his expression drifting subtly between offense and genuine confusion. At the end, he frowned and asked, “You - pretended to sabotage my equipment? Why? Why not do it properly, I mean?”

The squire shrugged.

“It’s - listen; before I go on, you should know Holt’s an ass, and a stubborn one at that. Yes, I see you’ve all noticed. Well, I couldn’t dissuade him when th’ idea came into his fool head, but I’d no wish t’ see him win a fight by such a trick, against such an obviously superior opponent. It’s not right, and, also, would be easily seen through. What I did seemed the simplest solution.”

“You could have refused,” Reynard pointed out; Gaheris smiled pityingly at him and shook his head. His response drew an exasperated comment from Meve.

“You could have done nothing at all, and told him otherwise.”

He frowned, again mildly offended.

“I’m no liar,” he said. “If I can find any other solution, I mean. They say a half-truth’s better than a lie, don’t they?”

Reynard blinked, considered, and then shook his head. Gascon shrugged his shoulders, grudgingly.

“You’re clearly a capable man,” Meve said. “Why do you serve someone you know isn’t?”

Gaheris shook his head again, helplessly.

“Holt’s always been like this,” he explained, “Ever since he was a boy. He’s a decent fighter, but he’s too competitive for his own good, and he’s still not learned t’ pick his battles. However, he is my little brother - well, half-brother; my mother married Sir Ulrich after my father died. He was a stonemason,” he explained, seeing the Queen raise a questioning eyebrow, a gleam of challenge in his dark eyes. “His name was Gors.”

When she failed to react to his admission, he continued:

“Anyway, she wanted me t’ look after Holt, best I can. He isn’t a bad person, really, he just -”

He shrugged.

“He can’t help how he is, when he’s in a mood, and when he isn’t he’s not the worst of men, or the worst of nobles, for that matter. He’s never struck a knight who’s yielded, for one, and he’s not one to steal or run villainous among th’ yeomen. And, he’s all the family I got left,” he finally finished. Meve nodded and said nothing for a long moment; she noticed that he couldn’t have been any older than herself, but he briefly appeared gray and worn down. She was, to her mild irritation, somewhat sympathetic to his troubles. Gascon glanced from her icy frown to Gaheris’s tired stare, curiously. Reynard watched her carefully.

“Keep him under guard,” she said to Gascon. “I’m not sure what to do with him or his brother, just yet. Wait - leave him on the landing; the guards there will look after him for the moment. I’ve another matter to discuss, before you go.”

“He’s the black knight,” she said to Reynard, as Gascon stepped back in without his captive. “Did you know?”

“No, of course not,” the Count said, frowning slightly. “Although, in truth, th’ idea has crossed my mind, but I found it - unlikely.”

Gascon hesitated, then shrugged, grinned broadly, and said, “You caught me at last, m’lady; how’d you figure it?”

“The Baroness it was that discovered you, not me,” Meve said, crossing her arms stubbornly; she attempted to appear angry, but in the end managed only mild, slightly amused, annoyance. “Also, she appears to have found me out, as well, incidentally. In fact, there seems to be very little she doesn’t know.”

“She’s uncommonly sharp, no doubt about it,” Gascon agreed, readily.

“So,” she continued, “Is there anything at all to be gained by asking you what you were doing, today?”

“Won’t tell you unless you first promise not t’ bite my head off,” he said promptly.

“Yes, very well, as it’s the solstice, but don’t expect any more favors from me before the summer, at earliest. I mean it, Gascon.”

Reynard sat down, shaking his head at them; Gascon nodded and said, “Fair’s fair. Well, then, it’s a short tale: I won that fight against Sir Holt, then I saw Gaheris come limping ‘round to scrape him up off the turf, and it all came together clear as mud, so I decided it was time t’ stop playing at knights for the day and do some real work.”

“You could have appeared in the joust as yourself,” Reynard remarked, almost idly, “And not as -”

“As me,” Meve interrupted, a hint of her previous ire returning.

“Yes, well - the black knight’s more interesting than I am,” he explained, with a broad shrug. “People have heard of his prowess, or what have you; the dangerous reputation’s an advantage, of sorts.”

“Yes, we’ve heard, in fact,” Meve said, coldly. “Slew a werewolf, did you?”

“Sure did,” Gascon replied. “Or, I helped, anyhow. There was a witcher involved. Like Gaheris said: half a truth’s better than a lie, so I let the former take precedence.”

“That’s not the saying, as you know perfectly well. It’s worse,” Reynard said, rolling his eyes. “Half a truth is worse than a lie.”

Gascon shrugged at him, grinning slightly. Meve interrupted their tangent, impatiently.

“And you killed a dragon, they say?”

“Not I,” the Duke said, quickly, eyeing the Queen’s scowl. “Th’ only dragonslayer here is yourself - although, I did kill a pretty big snake in a roadside inn. The landlady was most impressed. So was some minstrel who happened t’ be around, it appears; he has, uh, embellished th’ incident, somewhat.”

“Yes, that much is obvious,” Reynard noted, “But how’d he know it was the black knight who did the deed and not merely one Gascon Brossard?”

At last, Gascon turned uncomfortably self-conscious and clammed up; Meve watched him squirm for a long moment and decided, after a glance at the amused gleam in Reynard’s eye, to not to press the issue further.

“And you gave poor Sir Orlac a dunking,” she remarked, finally; Gascon looked relieved and seized on the change in subject.

“Yes, that story’s true,” he admitted. “He’s not a bad fighter, at all, thought he don’t seem to enjoy it much. It took some convincing t’ even get him to go against me, actually, but it was worth the time, in th’ end, to get th’ extra practice.”

“You have improved, somewhat,” Reynard observed, casually. He shot a quick look at Meve; she spotted it and broke off her intended response, frowning. Gascon either missed or ignored their exchange and said, brightly, “Why thank you, sir.”

“Although,” the knight continued, “It remains to be seen if you can beat me just yet; Meve, of course, has already unhorsed you once, so no there’s burning question to be answered on that account.”

“By a trick,” Gascon said, and then, as Reynard shrugged unconcernedly, added, “Look, I only really wanted t’ fight Sir Holt and beat him, again, to prove I could, like. I had no notion of much else.”

“Yes, very likely,” Meve muttered, rolling her eyes; Reynard continued, despite her:

“Not afraid to lose, are you?”

“Of course not; it happens all the time,” Gascon said, mildly indignant.

“Well, then, tomorrow, if you’ve no other plans, let’s see how good you’ve really become, shall we? Without your intimidating disguise, I mean.”

“Well, all right,” the Duke said, doubtfully, clearly wary about what exactly he was agreeing to. “I suppose I’m not busy, but - “

“Good. I’ll see you first thing in the morning, then,” Reynard said, a suggestion of finality in his voice; Gascon still looked uncertain, but nodded and then made a tactical retreat to “see to those other matters.”

“What the devil are you at, Reynard?” Meve asked, the instant he was gone. He stood up, strode across the room with a self-satisfied smile, and wrapped his arms around her.

“You’ve had a long day,” he said, “Let me worry about it.”

“Ugh. Fine, then; do what you want,” she said, ingraciously, leaned her forehead against his chest, and continued with a muffled sigh, “What do you think I should do with Holt? I can’t very well banish him for trying to cheat in a duel, much as I’d like to - he is the sole legal heir to Sir Ulrich, who has been a relatively loyal supporter of the crown - nor can I demote him, since he isn’t one of my own knights.”

“Just ban him from your tournaments, and the rest of the realm will follow,” he said, as if it was obvious, “It’s the worst thing that could happen to a young knight.”

“You’d know better than I,” she remarked, unfolded her arms, slid them around his waist, and added, “What about Gaheris?”

“I don’t know,” Reynard said, “He’s not so easy to deal with.”

“The trouble is,” Meve said, darkly, “- the trouble is that, in his circumstances, he’s done nothing worse than you or I have in the past, which makes me feel something of a hypocrite if I consider having him arrested for treason - as I certainly could, given your indispensable position and high rank.”

“Yes, a - a similar thought crossed my own mind, to be honest.”

“Well, it’s true,” she said, raising her head and frowning up at him. “Isn’t it? Reginald -”

“He wasn’t quite so bad as Holt.”

“Because he was older, and the King, and no other reason. Well, and he had you around to clean up after his worst decisions. And, his sons - my sons - are the same, or worse, than Sir Holt. Or were, I mean. Anseis certainly is, in any case.”

“Perhaps,” Reynard said, thoughtfully, “There’s no need to do anything to Gaheris, at all.”

“As you’re th’ one he wronged, in th’ end I think what happens to him should really be your decision,” Meve said, shrugging.

“Well, then, speaking from experience, the man’s trials in keeping control of his brother are worse than anything you might think up.”

“Yes, I know what you mean. I’ve no wish to see him hang or rot in prison, but banishment would be no curse to him, and we’d have to contend with Holt still, regardless, but without a convenient manager. What a waste; were he noble-born, I’d have some use for a man of his talents, and I could more easily secure his future loyalty. A shame, to have Holt be th’ one who inherits old Ulrich’s lands and titles, and Gaheris remain a squire still.”

“I agree,” Reynard said. “However, that problem only you can solve.”

She looked into his eyes, thoughtfully, and nodded.

#witcher #thronebreaker #fanfic #action #sports #romance

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tonyglowheart · 3 years

Text

Trying to semi-organize my thoughts on what exactly I am wanting out of spn fic and hm let's see. If I remember this post in the future, I may update it as I think of/on things and use this for reference so I, also, don't forget lol

Okay so, wants/likes:

Cas prominent. He is my, as I believe the kpop kids say, bias, so he is kind of non-negotiable. Sorry I am just not interested in fics where he is not prominent

Destiel not required but a good plus. Slight preference for intricate courtship rituals over ones where they figure things out ridiculously easy, unless it is established relationship. If the revelation comes too quick and easy then I get taken out of the moment :')

Optional: Angels treating Cas like their baby brother :3 Cas can be somewhat put out by it or not. Actually maybe bonus if he IS, bc they are all angels of the lord and relative by rank and experience, And Yet [whoever] just cannot help but be *points* Baby

canonverse is plus. canon divergence is okay but idk how close to canon I'm looking for, if it's too close to an episode rewrite I may not be into that either

casefics are cool. If it's got that canon-typical vaguely racist sht then pls warn me going in 😔

Found family. Family don't end in blood!!! Spn may forget this but I never will!!!

Any exploration of the whole fucky destiel thematic dichotomies, the whole free will vs destiny shit, stuff like words of prophets are written on subway walls, like.. idk, something that is intricate-rituals-gay and also makes me think of the philosophy of thehuman condition

corollary: slow burns ig?? or like mutual pining? canon typical thinking they are not worthy or that it is something they cannot have? canon typical did not realize until later but even then they have their individual canon-typical reasons for not acting on it, until they do bc it's fic so they can get together for realsies?

trope: Cas and/or Destiel being parents. I read one recently where it was like single dad Cas (to Claire and Jack) and then Dean came (back) into his life recently and I rly liked it

AUs are fine but highly subject to mood so we'll see. I did read a Star Trek-y AU I liked

I'm down for a lot of various other kinds of plot tropes and stuff, tho I want stuff that's more character and plot and less, like, pwp or fuck or die or that kinda thing

trope: curses maybe? I've found a couple curse-focused fics which were interesting

trope: Hurt/Comfort of the Cas whump kind but not necessarily have to be just Cas. But like.. u know when Uriel is beating him up and he looks all bloody and beautiful, or when he flexes his sexy angel powers and transports the Winchesters to the past but then collapses bc he overtaxed himself, or when he had that blanket on when he was suffering from the attack dog spell.... yeah,,,

trope: Anything with like the Winchesters caring about and caring for Cas. I just rly like Cas being taken care of :') pls wrap him in a blanket and pat his shoulder brusque-softly in ur emotionally repressed way Dean

bottom line my emphasis tends to be more on character and plot. I can't do plot without character, the relationships - whether ship or gen - are important to my enjoyment of a fic. I can sit thru a lot if the characters/character dynamics are good and chewy lmao like u can rly sink ur teeth into it

Bonus features:

eldritch horror angels are a bonus. Give me unfathomable trueform angels, I feel like I don't see that enough

wings* but.... caveat I like my spn wings more metaphysical than literal unless they're literal for a point, but this isn't set in stone either. I'm just... slightly tired of the physicality of the wings I guess. Like it's not the physicality that's the issue, ig, but when it's not treated as metaphysical (as well)

wouldn't mind some good endverse fics to chew on altho that might also make me sad

Cas being cute, a la crazy!Cas (who is.... so soft.... his innocence.. *clutches chest*) or like when Cas and Dean went to talk to that police guy and Cas was like you tell them it's angels and demons warring and he will tell you what he knows, or when Cas was like I'm gonna become a hunter :3, or interrogating the cat, or this is his serious face, yes

Powerful af Cas?? I miss season 4/5 Cas, when he was powerful and self-assured and wasn't "mentally deficient puppy" as Metatron meanly put it Cas. I feel like we get less of that as the seasons go on... I miss Cas being powerful and exuding energy that I'm sure is what had ppl assigning him as top energy. Like yes flex ur sexy sexy angel powers pls. There's one ep where my notes just say "ANGEL SMITE ANGEL SMITE / HEAAALING." Season 6 Cas where he is more out of touch with humanity and more brusque was also intriguing even tho he was like that bc of extenuating circumstances. But him flexing his sexy angel powers sure was sexy

Do not wants :(

Endgame human!Cas. Sorry I like short-lived Cassidy am more into feathered Cas than human!Cas. endgame human!Cas just isn't a good solution/happy ending to me, I don't think Cas needs to change to be able to live happily, and also I like to chew on the like philosophical underpinnings of an immortal/mortal pairing if that does get called into question lol

Human AU* but like asterisk bc I will take human AU if the plot is compelling and/or the characterization still manages to capture that je nais se quoi of canonverse. If they are, like, middle age dads being domestic, as an example, tho, then I can probs do that, I just like.. have limited capacity for career-based AUs for the sake of it, if that makes sense... But character/character dynamics trumps all, like I said lmao.. I've sat thru scenarios/setups that lowkey dealt me psychic damage bc of the nature of the set dressing, bc I checked it out out of morbid curiosity but the way they did the characterization ended up working for me

A/B/O - I am not seeking A/B/O at the moment

Hurt no Comfort - it would make me too sad :(

fics that treat angels like literal physical feathered beings. Idk I just like... want the whole angel thing to be treated more metaphysically. They are multidimensional wavelengths of celestial intent in holy corporate/business attire visages but they are still very much multidimensional wavelengths of celestial intent the ballpark size of our Chrysler building. If the wings are treated too literally I find I start getting bored, ironically. This is ironic bc I'm a slut for wingfic. But with spn I find that a conventional kind of wingfic/angel conception where the wings are just limbs with maybe some slight handwaved dimension-shifting stowing is.. slightly passe for my tastes. Unless it's like a forced manifestation or sth. Just like.. get the metaphysics involved, tie it to angelic grace. Something. Make is racy. But not too racy, the whole wings-as-erogenous-zones thing I'm a bit over too, xenobiology to humans would just be biology to these beings, it doesn't make sense to me to be like "oh they have a tail and it's EXTRA sensitive," like are you suggesting your arm/armpit is an extra special species-typical erogenous zone too?

deaging unless it ties to some other kinda plotty deal somehow ig? Like... I got invested in this fandom for them as they are now I'm not too interesting in unseasoned nibling vers

this maybe goes with the human aus tho that's a slight asterisk but hard line no high school aus. pls I cannot take the psychic damage that would deal to me personal

I have no conclusion even tho I feel like I need one. here's wonderwall? ig I can stumble around looking for reclists and see if anything sticks out, trawling thru tags so far has been a mixed bag

Anyway haha lol, stand-up-style-tone I mean I'm not asking for a lot amirite. Just a nebulously specific set of intricate rituals wrapped around a plot and also found family or something, like you know, just a trifling

#supernatural cw #I had a tag for things like this before maybe #idk what #personal reference #hope I remember that in the future lmao...#long post

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howdoyousleep3 · 4 years

Text

Daddy!Steve NSFW ABCs 🌶

AHHHHH it is here! Well...it is here but it is in pieces, haha. I’ve decided to do little installments because I was getting carried away. This post is A, B, C, and D! It includes Twink!Bucky as well because it was inevitable. Please please enjoy and please please litter my inbox and notifications with love if you think I am worthy of it. ILY.

Aftercare Steve loves aftercare. Adores it. Lives for it. The sex out-of-this-world, mind-blowing, sometimes insane, and Bucky lives for that, but he knows Steve lives and breathes for the aftercare. Steve loves the raw and intimate moments of Bucky being so completely gone for Steve and what has transpired. He loves putting Bucky together again after he has ripped him apart and broken him down, bared his soul to Steve. Steve is never one to abruptly end a sexual experience with Bucky, loves to remain inside of his body until he can’t anymore, prolonging their time together. Steve can’t bear to think about not being as close as he can to the younger man, such a snuggler, a cooer, wants to keep their faces pressed together, wants to feel Bucky come back to him. Even if it’s a quick fuck Steve is there to wipe Bucky down, to put his clothes back on, to carry him to another room. Steve loves aftercare. Body Part Bucky doesn’t even need to hesitate when asked what his favorite body part of Steve’s is—his tits. Steve hates it when Bucky calls his chest his tits, the bridge of his nose or the highpoint of his cheekbones flushing, but how can he not call them that? Steve is big and broad, everything on him is big, but his chest is somethin’ else. When Bucky gropes at them, squeezes them, he can’t even get his hands around them fully. Steve isn’t a super hairy man, but he’s covered in a soft sparse layer of it, across his chest, up his legs and thighs, a little on his belly. Bucky loves resting his head on those tits, loves squeezing them, loves rubbing his face between them, loves biting at the meaty pec. Bucky loves Steve’s chest.

Steve’s answer to this question in reference to Bucky is also very easy—Bucky’s ass is his favorite. He’d pretend and say Bucky’s eyes or his heart, his dimply chin, but when in all reality it is definitely Bucky’s behind. He’s never seen a juicier ass on a man, plush and round and thick, and damn is he grateful it belongs to someone he gets to fuck on the regular. Steve’s eyes go all soft when he watches Bucky walk from the shower to the closet, rid of all clothing. Steve loves to grab at it, smack it, grope it, such a pert little thing. He loves for it to be the first thing he gets his hand around in the morning and the last thing he gets to fuck into at night. He goes hot for the way it shakes and jiggles when he fucks Bucky from behind. All of that pales into comparison to eating that sweet ass, fuck, that is Steve’s favorite. He loves burying his face between those cheeks, spreading them wide and apart, cracking his hand down a few times as his tongue works. Steve loves Bucky’s ass.

Come This one…makes Steve hot as fuck all over. This one Steve takes pride in, is near and dear to his heart. Steve has always swallowed for his partners, not being that big of a deal and honestly less clean up, more intimate too. But there is nothing that makes Steve harder and hornier and prouder as when Bucky is taking his come. On his body, on his face, in his ass, in his mouth—it makes Steve dizzy with arousal. The aspect that makes this sweeter is the journey it has taken for Bucky to accept Steve’s come so easily and eagerly. Because at the beginning of their time together, their relationship, Bucky even hated the word “come”, made soft but uncomfortable noises, blushed, shook his head frantically.

Steve was never pushy, never, but he was a sweet talker and he knew what he was talking about, knew what could convince Bucky to be more accepting of the idea of Steve’s come…

Fuck, baby wanna fill this sweet little cunt up, goddamn. Want you to be drippin’ with my come, would make Daddy so happy, sugar, ohh. Wanna see it leak outta your lips, wanna make you open wide so I can see your hungry mouth full’a Daddy’s come. Oh wouldn’t that be nice, baby? Daddy would love that. Daddy would love to rub it into your little hole, plug you full’a my come.

It took some time, but Bucky’s mindset changed, he cozied up to the idea of playing with Steve’s come, of swallowing, of taking Steve bareback. When Bucky breached the subject of no longer wearing condoms Steve wanted to throw a party. When Bucky stuttered through his first Oh, Daddy…p-please? C’n I…want your come, Steve came with a roar almost immediately. The first time Bucky swallowed he was teary-eyed and flushed and some of it leaked out the corner of his mouth and Steve thought he had died and gone to heaven.

Now Bucky hates to not have Steve’s come, whines for it, is a filthy dirty talker himself—

In my mouth, Daddy c’mere, want it, wanna swallow it all. Want me to k-keep it all in my mouth and…and show you, Daddy? You better fill that fuckin’…shit, that fuckin’ cunt up, Daddy, wanna be all sloppy for you, want you to plug me up, w-will you do that, Daddy? Plug me up so that when you fuck me again later…ngh, you won’t even have to u-use lube?

Steve was proud of himself for turning Bucky into his proud little comeslut.

Dirty Secrets Steve is a confident man, a comfortable man, not embarrassed by much of anything. If he had a dirty secret it would only be so because of societal expectations because it isn’t anything he’s embarrassed by.

Steve loves it when Bucky fucks him.

It doesn’t happen often, Steve needing to be in a specific mood and Bucky needing to feel level-headed and focused, but goddamn when it does happen it is somethin’ else. Being able to control Bucky in a situation where the younger man should have the ultimate control is a heady experience. Steve has asked for Bucky before, has asked him if he wanted to fuck Daddy, but most of the time it is surprisingly Bucky who will ask or make it known that he is interested in doing so. Bucky will be a little more pushy, will grope at Steve’s ass, squeeze it and let his fingers curl in a little tighter. There have been a couple times where Bucky has flat out asked for it, more often than not a little tipsy. “Daddy…y’gonna let me fuck you tonight? Oh, please, want it so much, Daddy, wanna feel it, can I?” he’d whine and ramble, press in tight to Steve no matter the position, suck on the older man’s collarbone, earlobe, neck.

How is Steve supposed to say no to this sweet little thing?

Bucky has beautiful fingers, creamy and long and always soft, knows how to work them well and listen to instructions. Bucky always waits for instruction, waits until Steve lets him move onto the next task, always a good boy. Steve loves feeling Bucky’s fingers inside of him, loves feeling them slickly work him open, scissoring and stretching. Steve unnecessarily guides him, tells him where to press them to stroke his prostate, to make Daddy’s cock drool and his body shudder, “That’s good, sugar there you go, oh fuck.” Sometimes Bucky will get flustered, a little desperate, ask if he can get his mouth on Daddy’s cunt, and that’s an entirely different experience in itself.

Bucky has such a pretty cock, about average length-wise but he has some extra girth to him that makes Steve’s toes curl. Even though Steve is always referring to Bucky’s cock as “little” it most definitely isn’t, able to make Steve come beautifully without being touched.

Bucky likes to fuck Steve when he’s on all-fours, feels more in control even though he has very little, is able to watch his cock slide in and out of Daddy’s hole, to grab at Daddy’s ass. While that is admittedly delicious, Steve loves to ride Bucky, to be on top, keeping control over the situation. He loves pressing the younger man into the mattress, rolling his hips, digging that cock into his prostate some. He loves looking down at Bucky and telling him how he makes Daddy feel, how fuckin’ good that cock feels fucking into Daddy’s hole, how pretty Bucky looks under him. He loves wrapping his fingers around the column of Bucky’s throat, both hands, pressing close and kissing his lips, the look the younger man gets on his face when he tells him he’s gonna make Daddy come, don’t you dare come, baby, not yet.

Steve gets extremely satisfied when Bucky crumbles, comes apart, shoots off inside of Steve, Daddy telling him he’s the best boy. He is even more satisfied when he makes Bucky put his face between his cheeks and eat his own come out of Daddy’s ass. He’s more than ready for Round 2 by that point.

#Stucky #boys in love #headcanon

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

survey by xxbieberburnham

A - Accidents Have you ever been in a car accident? No, thankfully.

Do you have a lot of scars? Yeah, numerous scars.

Have you been in a fist fight with someone? Nope.

Have you ever seriously hurt someone by accident? No.

Have you ever had stitches? Yes, several times.

B - Beauty Would consider yourself beautiful? Not even a little.

Are you self consicous of how you look? Extremely. I’ve gotten even worse these past few years.

Do you wear a lot of make up? I haven’t worn any makeup in the last four years.

Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Nope.

What do you think makes a person beautiful? There’s physical features, but it’s the inside and who they are as a person that really does it. It’s more than just looks.

C - Consequences What is the longest you've been grounded for? I think it was 2 weeks.

What would you do if you became pregnant? I’d be terrified, confused, freaked out... I’m a virgin and I also can’t get pregnant, so...

Do you ever think about how your actions affect people? Yes.

What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Take away my loved ones.

What is one thing you wish you didn't do because it wasn't worth it? Ignore things that I didn’t think would end up causing a lot of problems for me.

D - Dealing When you're mad at someone how do you show it? I’m short with my responses, my tone, and I’m distant. I’m not going to initiate conversation or any interaction.

Name a time when you had to be strong. I gotta keep going despite how much I’ve been struggling these past few years. I don’t feel strong at all, though. I feel very weak.

Have you ever dealt with divorce? No. I’ve never even been married.

When people don't accept you, how do you react? Hm. I don’t really know.

Have you ever lost someone to death? Yes, I’ve lost a few loved ones.

F - Family Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to? Yeah. There isn’t any beef or drama or anything, I just haven’t seen or talked to some family members in quite a long time. I have a big family and I was closer to some than others and also life just gets crazy and people get busy with their own thing and times goes on. I haven’t seen or talked to a lot of my family these past few years because I’ve just been a hermit crab and distant from everybody. I don’t want to see anyone looking and feeling how I do. :/

If you had to choose: friends or family? My family always.

Do you have any siblings? I have two brothers.

How often do you spend quality time with your family? I spend a lot of time with my parents and brother. We live together and we’re also quite close.

G - Growing How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I’m like 5′4. I do wish I was taller.

Do you think you've grown up in the past year? No.

Do you think you're mature for your age or still childish? I don’t feel like someone in their 30s.

Are you scared to think that one day you'll turn 30, then 40 & 50? Well, I’m 31 now. I cried when I turned 30, not gonna lie. And the way these years fly by 40 isn’t that far away and that’s scary. And then 50... and what scares me about that as well is the fact that I’m not the only one getting older, so do my parents. I don’t like to go there in my thoughts cause that really scares and saddens me.

Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? Oh, most definitely. A lot.

H - Hope Love - real or not? It’s definitely real.

Are you a pessimist or an optimist? I’m definitely a pessimist.

Do you believe in fate or that everything happens for a reason? I do believe everything happens for a reason.

Do you believe that after we die, your spirit is still alive? I believe the spirit leaves the body. When Jesus returns we’ll be resurrected and believers in Christ will be given a new body and go to heaven.

What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? My family keeps me going.

I - Idols Who is your idol? My mom.

What makes this person an idol to you? She’s the most hardworking, loving, caring, generous person I know. She has a big heart and does so much for everyone else, always putting others first. Has this person done anything good to help other people? Absolutely. Does this person have good style? Yes. She always has new clothes, shoes, bags, jewelry and gets complimented all the time. What does this person do for a living? She’s a manager at Walgreens. J - Jokes Tell me an inside joke between you and your friends. I don’t have friends.

Are you usually the person to make people laugh or the other way around? Ha, definitely not me.

Do you cry when you laugh hard? Yeah. I haven’t laughed that hard in a very long time, though.

Do you get in trouble for laughing or talking in class? No, I never did.

Are you good at making jokes? No.

K - Knowledge The prupose of school: learn, hang with friends or cause trouble? Uh, to learn obviously. It’s good for the social aspects as well.

Do people refer to you as dumb, smart or average? People say I’m smart, but I just feel I’m very average.

What kind of grades do you usually get? I always got As and Bs.

What is your favorite subject to learn or talk about? English and psych.

L - Love Are you currently in love? Nope.

Do people around you show a lot of love? Yes.

Is love worth it? Worth what?

Do you hate it when people say "I love you" & they've been dating for a day? Uh, that’d be concerning.

Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone or is it just a word? I don’t take those words lightly and just throw ‘em around.

M - Money Do you believe money makes the world go round? It’s all revolved around money.

How much money do you have on you now? A little.

Are you saving up for anything? Nothing specifically.

Would you rather win 1 million dollars or find true love? This sounds bad, but I think I’d take the money at this point in my life. It would be a huge help and advantage for my family and I.

On a scale 1-10, how important is money to you? I can’t say it’s not important, I rely on it for a lot of things.

N - Nothing to lose Would you ever go on a game show? No.

Do you play the lottery? I have a few times, but not regularly.

Ever been to Las Vegas? Nope.

Have you ever made a bet and then lost? I’ve never made a serious bet.

Do you give your all in a relationship? Yes. Even when we’re not in a relationship. I was devoted and invested in Joseph and we never officially dated. I put my heart completely out there and was rejected.

O - Openess How long does it take you to open up with someone? It takes me awhile. I have a really hard time with that, even with people I’m close to.

What does it take for you to fully trust someone? If I feel comfortable talking to that person and they haven’t given any reason why I couldn’t trust them.

Do you trust people too easily? I wouldn’t say that.

Are you comfortable with everyone? No. And these past few years I don’t feel comfortable around people except for my family. I’m very self-conscious, embarrassed, and ashamed of myself.

Do you tell your parents and friends everything? Not everything.

P - Positive Is your outlook on life positive or negative? I’ve had a very negative, pessimistic, bleak outlook these past few years. It has felt even worse lately

Have you ever had a moment with someone & it didn't end positively? Yeah.

Do you agree with: best to have loved than never loved at all? Yes.

Do you see most things as negative or positive? I think I’ve made it quite clear.

Has anything bad happened but something good came from it? Yes. Hey look, some positivity coming from me. Wow.

Q - Questions When faced with a problem, do you solve it on your own or ask for help? It depends, but admittedly I don’t go to others for help a lot and I should.

Do you like to take quizzes? I like surveys.

If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? Meh.

When someone does something wrong do you ask them about it or let it go? It depends, but honestly probably more likely to let it go.

Do you own plaid shorts? No. Or any shorts.

R - Respect How do you show respect for someone? By listening and being there for them, being polite, being kind...

What can someone do to lose respect for them? Be rude, mean, arrogant, selfish, etc.

Do you respect your parents, teachers or authority? I do.

If you're disrespectful to your parents, whats your punishment? I wasn’t a disrespectful, bad kid, but sometimes kids have an attitude and if I did they would tell me it wasn’t acceptable to talk to them that way.

If someone is mean to you, are you mean back? I’m sure I’d be short and snippy and then just not interact with that person anymore.

S - School If you're still in school, what grade will you be going into? I’m done with school. When will you graduate high school/college? I graduated UC back in 2015.

After high school, what do you plan on doing? I went to community college.

Do you like or hate school? I got very overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out quite easily, but there were aspects I did like.

Have you ever been expelled or suspended? Nope.

T - Temptation Have you ever done something wrong but inside it was okay? Some things didn’t feel so wrong.

Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? I have felt pressured to do those things.

Did you ever cheat on someone? No.

Do you give into temptation easily or are you independent? No, I wouldn’t say I do.

U - Unique Do you do a lot of things because your friends are? I’ve felt that way with some things.

Do you follow trends or do whatever you want? I like what I like and it may happen to be trendy or it might not be. I don’t like things just because they’re “in.”

Do you give in easily to peer pressure? No.

What makes you different from people your age? A lot of things. I feel very behind in my life at 31 compared to others I know my age and even younger.

V - Value What's the most expensive thing in your room? My laptop.

What's more valuable: your life or the ones around you? My loved ones.

What's something you value? Not because it’s expensive but it means a lot? Time spent with family.

If there was a fire in your house/apartment what would you grab? Oh man. I’d want to grab as much as I could. Definitely my laptop, phone, medicine, and medical supplies but I’d really try to get as much as I could.

Do you think the past or future is more valuable? Hm.

W - Wishes If you had three wishes, what would they be? Good health, financial stability, and... I don’t know.

Would you rather wish yourself to be happy or others? I want happiness and the best for my loved ones. They truly deserve it.

Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe? You have to put the time and effort in. And even then it might not happen.

Have you ever had a wish come true? I’ve wished someone would bring me coffee and they did, ha.

Do you find wishing on things to be a waste of time? I don’t make serious wishes.

Y - You Are you more independent or social? I’m definitely not social. I’m independent in that I’m a hermit crab and like my alone time, but I’m dependent quite a bit on my family.

What's something that makes you mad when you see it? Abuse towards children.

Do you have potential to do anything you want? I don’t feel like I do. :/

Do you believe people are born a certain way? In some ways?

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Z - Zest Are you currently happy with your life? No.

When change occurs, do you get scared? Yes.

Do you like to try new things or meet new people? I’m so boring and basic and not adventurous at all, nor am I outgoing or social.

What is the most motivational thing on earth? Money, probably.

Do you have a motto? Nah.

Last questions Do you hate how the letters on the keyboard aren't in ABC order? I’m so used to how it is I can’t imagine it being any different. It’s never bothered me, actually.

Do you drink water? Yeah, kinda have to. I don’t particularly care for it, though.

What did you have for breakfast? It’s only 5:56AM, but I know I won’t have breakfast today.

Do you like convertibles? Sure.

Do you like the American or British way of spelling words? I like the British spelling for some words, like “grey.”

What colors are on your country's flag? Red, white, and blue.

Can you skateboard? Nope.

Do you like long hair? Yeah.

Do you like Fiber One bars? I’ve never tried them but judging from the name I doubt they would be favorites of mine. <<< Yeah, I’ve had no interest in trying them. Healthy snacks like those never taste good to me.

What does your sleeping bag look like? I don’t have one.

Do you like to save your results after a survey? Well, I post them on here. It seems kind of pointless to take them and then not save it.

Do you like Sour Patch Kids? No. I don’t like sour stuff. If you could have your own show, what would it be about? I wouldn’t want my own show.

Ever rode on a jet? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories #long survey

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donnieluvsthings · 4 years

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gonna rant about sanders sides plot bc i think about it all the time and need an outlet okay here we go. this got super long so most of it is under the cut.

fyi: i talk a lot about patton and virgil and how theyre doing. i dont think i paint either of them negatively and if i did its not on purpose bc i love them both but just be aware!! also this is just my interpretations/predictions and i wanted to share but its not The Only Acceptable Interpretation and if u disagree then obviously thats fine lol

so i keep thinking about the conflict between virgil and patton. clearly something is weird. i think it probably started when virgil asked patton to stop treating him like “some innocent harmless angel” at the end of LNTAO.

i actually think this was a good interaction—virgil was trying not to hurt patton’s feelings but also was expressing something he was uncomfortable with and he succeeded in my opinion. and patton doesn’t argue, just immediately goes “okay, virgil!” like he says his name, no nickname, no kiddo. he starts trying instantly to check himself and respect virgil’s wishes.

then in embarrassing phases their interactions seem a little more...tense? i’ll list the ones that stick out bc lists are Fun:

patton fakes being scared. virgil: “don’t patronize me” patton: “you mean pantronize” virgil: “whatever!!”

patton corrects himself from saying “bat winged cherub” to “bad....boy” while virgil shoots him a look like we just talked about this

virgil’s talking about how his style is a relic from thomas’ emo phase. patton: “we’re basically style twins!! look out just a couple of cool guys comin thru!” virgil: “okay, patton” patton: “um! sorry...”

virgil seems aggravated, probably bc patton is still treating him like a poor lil anxious baby when the whole point of this episode was virgil showing that they can’t just ignore his role as anxiety. they may be friends now but virgil’s past attitude is still part of him. one could say he doesnt want them to ignore the “dark side” of his presence. wink wink. this could be him maybe building up to revealing that he used to be a dark side, subtly preparing thomas for it.

then SvS. patton and virgil don’t interact directly except at the start and during the trial, but it doesn’t seem as strained. this is probably because theyre both on the same side when it comes to deceit—and i think thats important. in svs, both patton and virgil are anti-deceit, and like patton pointed out in LNTAO, “anxiety and morality are telling you the same thing,” which seems to signal to thomas that he should listen.

also in SvS, janus alludes to the fact that virgil was a dark side and is hiding it:

“so you’ve never been reluctant to share anything with the group?”

“dont.”

“what, i just meant your name!”

“dont.”

“maybe that’s why its so easy for you to see me for what i am! like i said before, it takes a liar to know a liar.”

i’m 90% sure he didn’t just mean virgil’s name. virgil is clearly distraught about where this conversation is headed and that just doesn’t line up with him being hesitant to share his name. his fears over his dark persona and reluctance to share his name have been addressed multiple times, so what does he have to be scared of? unless janus is talking about virgil being a dark side.

moving on! in DWIT, again, theyre both kinda anti-remus. theyre both afraid of him, and as logan points out, theyre both part of why remus is so powerful as intrusive thoughts. they dont argue much; virgil spends most of this ep arguing with logan, actually, which is interesting bc he and logan seem to have one of the closest friendships in the show.

in this episode, there’s a few final pushed that i think lead virgil to confess he was a dark side.

first remus reveals his own name and says “i would never hide anything from you!” and sends virgil a little glance. virgil looks uncomfortable. then, around the 31 minute mark, logan says “you can always talk to someone...subjects who talked about their thoughts often felt better emotionally and physically.” and you can see virgil looking around like he’s realizing something.

and then he reveals himself at the end of this episode. just to thomas, but i’m assuming all the other sides would know as soon as thomas himself does, right? if they didn’t know already. what sticks out to me is that he specifically waits until the others leave. he doesn’t want to say it directly to them. and as for how this connects to the patton-virgil stuff...patton might think virgil doesn’t trust him/doesn’t want to open up to him. and/or virgil actually doesn’t want to open up to patton as much anymore.

then in healthy distractions, we clearly see that something is up between virgil and patton.

patton: “how could he feel b-a-d with his inner d-a-d?” virgil: “i can think of a few ways”

patton: “thomas made his decision and i think we should all just try to settle into it” virgil: “how are you telling me to settle into something right now when you have taken your sweet time to settle into things that you were uncomfortable with in the past”

so honestly i don’t really know what virgil’s talking about?? does he mean the events of moving on and the whole breakup situation?? or maybe he’s calling patton out for taking so long to drop the “angel baby” nicknames/treatment. or its implying that patton didnt know virgil was a dark side and is still coming to terms with it/coming to terms with the fact that virgil didn’t want to tell him & the other sides directly.

or he’s referencing something we don’t know of. either way, their relationship is obviously strained rn and it isn’t entirely clear what the turning point was between DWIT and ATHD.

then we come to the new episode. virgil doesn’t appear in POF at all, not even a cameo. i think thats the first time this has happened since accepting anxiety part 1. the only reference to him is the purple time-clock during the mario sequence and other smaller inclusions in the other video game parts. and then what happens in this episode?

patton realizes selfishness can be good sometimes. he accepts that the world, and thomas’ view of it, are not as black-and-white as he wanted to believe in svs. it wasnt a matter of “callback = bad vs wedding = good” bc thats not how the world works. beyond that, he accepts janus.

and i’m gonna bring up the idea that virgil is super mean and gets away with it. its true that the other sides, especially patton, are hesitant to correct him or reprimand him, which i think is bc theyre afraid of making him think they hate him. this idea could even be in the forefront of their minds if they really are that impacted by virgil not telling them he’s a dark side.

the thing is...virgil IS mean sometimes and he DOES get away with it. often, its just directed at janus or remus, and the other sides don’t WANT to disagree. when its directed at the other sides, i’m not sure its taken entirely to heart, regardless of whether it should be or not.

and we all know how virgil feels about janus. suspicion, anger, and aggression are all things virgil expresses towards janus from the moment he appeared as patton in CLBG.

so this all has been building up to me saying that the virgil-patton conflict has now become a virgil-patton-janus conflict. virgil and janus’ past is going to clash with patton and janus’ new alliance, which will strain the already tense relationship between virgil and patton. even worse, now roman is firmly in the anti-janus field, which will likely feed virgil’s anger, especially if he also blames patton for hurting roman.

and if we DO go to roman’s room next, and janus shows up, and the situation worsens...we might have a full blown “patton & janus vs virgil & roman” level argument on our hands.

i think virgil’s gonna be aggressive towards janus, as he has been, but when thomas and patton don’t dismiss him—when they call him by his NAME, not just “deceit”—we’re gonna get a rehash of “are you seriously siding with deceit?” except this time roman won’t be the one saying “are you seriously so closed minded to think that everything said by someone you dont like is automatically untrue?”

the other sides—or patton and thomas at the very least—are going to see that virgil’s blatant dislike of janus is not entirely warranted. and keep in mind that we still don’t know what happened between virgil and janus to make virgil hate him, so maybe it IS warranted. but its clear now that janus is trying to help (assuming he’s not lying which i rly hope he’s not lol) and i dont think its fair to thomas for virgil to want to disregard everything janus says. thomas and patton will realize this and they’ll have to confront virgil about his treatment of janus. we just haven’t gotten there yet.

its gonna be wild, honestly. i want janus to be fully accepted but it might be a while until we get there, just like patton took a while to understand the whole “grayscale morality” idea, and how its probably gonna take a while for virgil (and janus, tbh) to move on from whatever happened between them in the past.

i also believe this is headed towards a sympathetic everyone ending where theyre all important to thomas, acknowledged by him as important, and all actively working together, no dark sides or light sides, just sides. so yeah

basically, the next few episodes will probably be an explosion of all these char tensions and its probably gonna get worse before it gets better, and thats not even considering logan angst, creativitwins angst, or the orange side. but i think (and hope) it’ll all be fine and im hyped to see where this series goes :p

#if u actually read all this props to u #sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #ts patton #ts virgil #ts janus #donnieluvsrambling #long post

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soobiniebaby · 4 years

Text

Angels & Devils Part IV: Can You Tell Me

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

B’s first week at MO Academy had been going smoothly so far.

She rarely found herself lost around the campus since she always had Kai or at least 1 member of the student council by her side, she was able to get to know a few other people in her classes, she was able to keep track of lessons and deadlines so far, she had grown to enjoy her walks to and from school with Taehyun every day, and she was able to adjust well to living alone without her parents to watch over her or without anyone else to help around with household chores.

She actually really liked living away from her parents for the first time. The one downside was that she was starting to feel a bit lonely, especially since the apartment had 2 bedrooms, which was obviously meant to be occupied by at least 2 people. The spare room was also set up like a bedroom with a bed and a wardrobe and a desk, but she didn’t have any use for it so she never really went in it since she moved in. She mostly used it to store extra clothes.

Today, Wednesday, the boys had their first student council meeting of the year to finalize things for club recruitment day, so B walked home alone, which she didn’t really mind.

Her week was going smoothly until she received an unusual message that night, while she was lying in her bed after finishing some household chores.

B smiled as each boy sent a selfie, and laughed when she realized that all of them were holding up peace signs in their photos. She quickly saved the pictures and set each boy’s contact photo until she saw Beomgyu send more photos to the group chat.

B locked her phone and turned over in bed, her head full of thoughts of what they could do for Kai’s birthday. If it were up to her, she would take Kai to someplace special and out of the way, like the beach so that they could reminisce about their childhood memories spent along the beaches in Hawaii. But considering that there would at least be 4 other people celebrating Kai’s birthday with them, she knew it was out of the question. She was also curious about what the other boys had in mind, and she was wondering what gift she could get for her best friend.

She checked her phone one last time before shutting her lights off and drifting off to sleep.

•°•

Soobin put his phone away once the other boys sorted out their plan to keep Hyuka busy while he, B and Yeonjun stayed behind. Their last period had already ended, and they were preparing for their meeting.

“So, where do you guys wanna talk?” B asks, grabbing her bag and getting up from her seat. “I’m guessing the 3 will be hanging out at the café, so that’s not an option.” she says, referring to the café that Taehyun’s family owns and runs, which they’ve hung out at everyday after school so far, except for yesterday when the boys had their student council meeting.

“There other cafes nearby, but they’re really not as good as Kang’s.” Yeonjun says, leaning back in his seat.

“You know, there’s one place we could hold our little meeting, and we won’t even have to leave school.” Soobin says.

Yeonjun and B look at him then, curious and interested.

“Well come on then, let’s go. You can lead the way, Mr. President.” B says teasingly. Soobin visibly cringed as she did so. It wasn’t a nickname, but it was something she seemed to enjoy calling him by.

“Alright, follow me.” Soobin says, and the three make their way across the campus.

Walking across campus with Soobin and Yeonjun by her side made B remember the times in the past when she would be escorted by bodyguards hired by her parents. The dark days. She had yet to fill Kai in on the specific details, and a part of her was secretly afraid of spending one on one time with her childhood friend, dreading the moment when she would have to recount the memories that she would rather just forget.

The 2 boys had been chatting about their term project for their creative writing class, Yeonjun whining about getting paired with someone other than Soobin and Soobin in turn comforting him, and B had been so lost in thought that she didn’t even notice where they were.

“Ah, I see. Nice thinking, Soobin.” Yeonjun says, as they walk down a familiar hallway.

“What, why? Where are we going?” B asks, the hallway wasn’t familiar to her at all. It was at a part of the school near where the faculty rooms and offices were, so it wasn’t really part of the tour.

“Actually, I just remembered that I had to stop by to sign some forms that I left after the meeting yesterday, but I figured we might as well have our meeting here.” Soobin says, as they reach a set of double doors at the end of the hall. He takes a bunch of keys out of his pocket and takes a moment to sort through them before taking one and unlocking the doors.

The sign above the door read “Student Council Office.”

“Oh wow, I haven’t seen your office.” B says, realizing where they were.

“Well then, welcome to our lair.” Yeonjun says, before Soobin pushes both doors open in a dramatic fashion.

The three step inside, and B takes a moment to scan the room. There were 5 desks situated along the walls of the room, 2 desks each on 2 opposite sides of the room and 1 desk at the very end of the room, which was bigger than the other 4. Each desk had an assortment of files, papers, trinkets, and frames on them. In the center of the room was a long conference table lined with office chairs. There were 2 whiteboards on the walls filled with scribbles from past meetings with a bulletin board full of reminders and notes, and a projector screen at the end of the conference table hanging from the ceiling. The only windows in the room were behind the 1 desk at the end of the room.

Soobin goes straight to that desk and shuffles through some papers, opening the drawers as well and sorting through documents.

Yeonjun sits at the edge of the conference table and beckons B over. “Come on, Baby. Take a seat.”

“Where, though? This place is huge. And I know we’re sort of having a meeting, but isn’t a conference table for 12 a bit too much?” she says, her eyes still scanning the room. “This place is…pretty cool.”

Soobin makes his way over to the 2 with a stack of papers in his arms. “I think it’s my favorite place in the campus. We come here all the time, and we’re free to use it as much as we want, so please, just take any seat. Make yourself at home.” he says, smiling sheepishly.

“Alright, I guess.” B says, taking a seat close to the end of the table. Soobin takes the seat at the end and Yeonjun sits between the 2.

B notices that the boys seem a bit different as they take their seats. When they were seated in class, Yeonjun was usually slouched in his seat while Soobin had an elbow on his desk and his head resting on his hand. Now, seated at the student council office, they were both sitting upright. Yeonjun had both elbows resting on the table and was leaning forward, while Soobin was sitting up straight with one hand on the table and the other on his lap.

“So, B, we just wanted to talk about Hyuka’s birthday. It’s tomorrow, and we were wondering if you could help us plan something as a surprise.” Soobin says, beginning their meeting.

B felt a bit intimidated, so she found herself sitting up straight as well. “I’ll help you as much as I can, but I haven’t celebrated his birthday with him since we were kids, so I’m not sure what we can do.”

“I’m sure anything you suggest will be a big help, really.” Soobin says, smiling warmly at her.

“Okay, well honestly, I already had an idea but it’s nothing grand, I just thought it would be nice.” she admits. When she sees that Soobin and Yeonjun are focused on her intently, she continues. “I was thinking I, or we, could greet him right at midnight? Maybe drop by his place and surprise him with a cake and stuff so that as soon as his birthday begins, we’ll be there to celebrate it with him. But if it seems too hard to pull off, we don’t have to do it. Or I can do it myself, since I grew up with his sisters too so I could ask them for help.”

“That’s actually a brilliant idea.” Yeonjun says. “I’m up for it.”

Soobin nods. “So am I. We can let the guys know about it in the group chat to see if they can come with us, and B you can coordinate with his older sister Lea to see if we can come over to surprise Hyuka.”

“Alright, I’ll get in touch with her and if she gives us the go signal, I’ll let you guys know right away. I’ll buy a cake tonight, maybe you guys could bring those pop out streamers or something so it’ll be a mini celebration.”

Yeonjun nods. “Great idea, Baby. I’ll deal with food and snacks, maybe a pizza?”

“Or 4?” Soobin says, grinning sheepishly at him.

Yeonjun’s face softens as he says “You know I can’t say no to you.”

Soobin laughs and says “Thanks, Yeonjunie. I’ll try to see if I can get my hands on streamers and stuff too.”

B nods. “Okay, that’s good. Is that all you guys wanna do? I’m sure you have something in mind.”

“A party. Let’s throw him a party.” Yeonjun says. “Tomorrow’s Friday, and we don’t have school or anything the next day, so it’ll be perfect.”

Soobin nods. “I was thinking of a party as well, but where? And how will we set it up?”

“Friday’s club day, but we won’t have club meetings yet since recruitment day will be on Monday, so we’ll just have homeroom in the morning then we’ll be free for most of the day. Plus we can come in school in casual wear, since Fridays are our washday.” Yeonjun says, stating facts.

“Wait, what’s wash day?” B asks.

“It’s the one day of the week where we’re allowed to wear casual wear to school. It’s on Friday cause the school thought it would be more convenient for club day.” Soobin explains. “If we throw a party on Friday, I think we could do it at my place. It’s always available.” he offers.

“Won’t your sister be home?” Yeonjun asks.

Soobin shakes his head. “She started at University this year and moved into a dorm, and you know my parents only come home a couple of times every year, so I practically live alone now. Except for the household staff, of course.” he explains.

So he lives alone too. Like me. B thinks to herself. “At least you have household staff to keep you company. It’s actually a bit lonely, living alone.” she says wistfully.

“It really is, especially since I’ve always been close with my family. It’s a big adjustment, having everyone move away now.” Soobin admits. “You guys are always welcome to come over, though, so I’m hoping I won’t be too lonely often.” he says hopefully.

“You guys are always welcome to come visit me too, though I doubt my apartment is as big or as grand as your house.” B says teasingly. “What about you, Yeonjun? Do you live with anyone?” she asks suddenly.

“Nah, my house always feels crowded, even though it’s just me and my parents, plus the household staff. I don’t like being at home though, and I think I’d actually prefer living alone, or at least away from them.” Yeonjun responds candidly.

B was surprised by how straightforward his answer was, and by how easy it was to ask him about it. “I’m an only child too, but as much as I love my parents, I wanted nothing more than a bit of freedom, so I think I understand.” she says, sympathizing with him.

Yeonjun gives a small smile. “At least you got your freedom, Baby. And at least you can say that you love your parents. I mean, my mom’s not bad I guess but my dad is just…” he says, shaking his head. “Anyway, yeah alright, I guess we’re having Hyuka’s party at Soobin’s place.”

Soobin nods. “Yep, that’s settled. Uh, we have to think about setting up now and stuff. Decorations, food, drinks, guest list, that sort of stuff. Gifts will be handled individually, of course.” he rambles, a bit flustered from the sudden change of mood in the conversation.

“I think the main problem is keeping Kai distracted while we’re setting up the party?” B says, offering her opinion. “It’s nice that we’ll be out of school early so we’ll have more time to prepare, but that also means that we’ll have to keep him distracted for longer too.”

“Well, we could do what we did today? Split up the group, 2 of us can distract him while the rest help with party prep.” Yeonjun suggests.

“No, we’re gonna need as much hands on deck as possible with the preparations, plus I don’t think splitting up the group will be necessary. One person is all we need, and I think I know the perfect one.” Soobin says.

B raises a brow at him when she notices him staring at her with a pointed look, until it clicks in her head.

“Oh… you mean me.” she says. Looks like she’d be having her one on one time with Kai a bit sooner than she thought.

•°•

“I can’t see anything.” Beomgyu says.

“SHUSH! Hyuka might hear us.” Taehyun shushes him.

“Wait, I’ll light up the candles so we won’t be in complete darkness.” B whispers. “Hold this for a sec, please.” she whispers, passing the cake to Yeonjun as she shuffles through her bag for the lighter. She lights the candles and pokes them into the top of the cake one by one then takes the cake back into her hands. “Thanks, Yeonjun.”

“Sure thing, Baby.” he whispers, and with the candles lit she could now see that he was smiling at her. She smiles back.

“Okay, are we all ready to go? Hyuka’s room is down this hall, the 2nd door on the right.” Soobin whispers.

“We know where Hyuka’s room is, Soobin.” Beomgyu scoffs.

“I, uh, was talking to B? Are we all re—oh wait! Everyone, put these on!” Soobin whisper-shouts, opening a pack of party hats and passing them around.

“We should’ve done all this before we snuck upstairs. The lights were on in the foyer.” Taehyun whispers while securing the party hat on his head.

“Too late now.” Beomgyu mutters. “Ouch!” he then whisper-shouts, as Taehyun grabs the elastic of Beomgyu’s party hat and releases it so it slaps against his chin

“That’s enough bickering, now let’s go!” Soobin whisper-shouts, holding up his huge pop out streamer like a bazooka.

“Ah, wait, shouldn’t Baby be in front since she’s holding the cake?” Yeonjun whispers.

There’s a moment of silence as everyone thinks it through.

“Okay, cake then pizzas then egg tarts then pop out streamer then camera. So that’s me then Yeonjun then Taehyun then Soobin then Gyu at the back so he can capture everything.” B whispers, getting everyone into formation.

“Why do I have to be at the back.” Beomgyu whispers, pouting as he takes his phone out to start taking the video. “Uh, guys, it’s 12:01 already. We missed midnight.”

And with that everyone runs down the hall and barges into Kai’s room.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!” they shout as they burst through Kai’s bedroom door.

“What the—?” Kai exclaims groggily, sitting up in bed and pulling the sheets up to his shoulders.

“Hyuka, were you, um, sleeping naked?” Soobin asks awkwardly.

Kai’s face flushes red as he says “No, of course not! I’m wearing underwear!”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Beomgyu smirks behind the camera.

“I can’t show you my underwear.” Kai says, flustered. “Wait, are you filming this?”

“Everyone sing!” B exclaims, which the boys happily oblige to.

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you!” they sing as they walk further into Kai’s room and surround his bed.

B leans forward, putting the cake as close to Kai as she could, and says “Make a wish, Ningning.”

As flustered and red as he was, Kai squeezed his eyes shut before whispering something under his breath and blowing the candles out.

Soobin lets the pop out streamer rip as Kai blows the candles out, which causes everyone to jump and someone to scream in surprise.

“Uh, that wasn’t me.” B says, as they all look each other, trying to identify who screamed.

Soobin sighs. “Okay fine, it was me.” he admits.

“But you’re the one who popped the streamer.” Kai says.

“Yeah but I wasn’t expecting a loud sound to come out so I was surprised as well.” Soobin says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Anyway, happy birthday Hyuka!”

“Thanks, everyone.” Kai says as they all start to greet him. “How’d you get in here, by the way? And what time is it?”

“I asked Lea if we could come over to surprise you, so she told one of the maids to let us in beforehand.” B explains.

“And it’s 12:13 now.” Beomgyu says.

“Oh wow, you really came over here just to greet me at midnight? Thanks, you guys.” Kai says, smiling warmly at all of them. “It means a lot to me.”

“It was B’s idea.” Taehyun says, setting the box of egg tarts on the bed and wrapping an arm around B’s shoulders. “You’re lucky to have a best friend like this one.”

B blushed, surprised by the sudden show of affection from Taehyun. “Thanks, Taehyun. I couldn’t have done this without you guys.”

“Quick, group selfie before we devour the pizza?” Beomgyu says, holding his phone up.

As everyone moves closer together around the bed to fit into frame, Kai asks “Can I at least put a shirt on first so it won’t look weird?”

“Nah, it’s fine. Everyone say Kimchi!” Beomgyu exclaims.

Kai wraps the blanket tighter up to his neck as everyone says “Kimchi!” and Beomgyu takes pictures.

“Okay, now let me put a shirt on so we can do this properly.” Kai says. “Baba, please look away.”

B scoffs. “Oh please, it’s not like I haven’t seen you shirtless before. We lived in Hawaii, remember? Beach days? Sunburns?”

Kai’s face starts to burn red as he explains, “Yeah, but things are a bit different now, Baba. We’re not kids anymore.”

“Aw, is Ningning shy?” Beomgyu says teasingly.

“Just look away for a sec, please, Baba?” Kai pleads, giving the girl puppy dog eyes.

B sighs. “Fine, because I believe in consent and respect your adolescent boy body.” she says before burying her face in his sheets. “Just let me know when it’s safe to look.”

The mini celebration went on until 1:30 in the morning, with the boys exchanging funny stories about Kai and B in turn telling the boys embarrassing childhood stories about him. The 4 pizzas were easily devoured, the egg tarts were saved by Kai for later, more pictures and videos were taken, and they had to remind themselves that they had to be at school at 8 AM, and that’s when they decided to put the birthday celebrations on pause.

Yeonjun offers to drive Beomgyu home since the two of them live in the same area, while Soobin offers to drive B and Taehyun home since he lived closer to the 2, which they happily accept.

Before B falls asleep, she remembers to put together a quick birthday greeting in the form of a tweet.

And as she wakes up the next morning, she smiles when she sees Kai’s reply, but her smile drops a bit when she remembers what she and the boys had planned for the day, and what her role in the plan was.

•°•

“No offense to MOA, like this school is great and all, but are Friday mornings always this boring?” B asks Kai and Taehyun.

They were sitting in their homeroom, which was scheduled every Friday from 8AM to 10AM. Since it was the first homeroom of the school year their teacher didn’t have much to discuss, and on a normal Friday, homeroom period was used to prepare for afternoon club activities, but since club days haven’t started yet, so they were basically just sitting and waiting to be dismissed now.

“Kinda? Don’t worry, it’ll be less boring next week since we’ll be having club day by then.” Taehyun says, trying to reassure her.

“Hang in there, Baba. There’s only 15 minutes until the bell rings anyway. After that, we can do whatever we want.” Kai says cheerfully, trying to fight the boredom.

“You mean we can do whatever you want, birthday boy.” B says, nudging his arm playfully. “Seriously, anything you wanna do? I’ve got you for the whole afternoon, right?” she asks him. She was able to guilt him into spending the whole afternoon with her by playing the ‘I’m your best friend and I’ve missed you so much and I haven’t had quality time with you since we were kids and we need to catch up’ card. It was the perfect opportunity to keep Kai distracted from the 4 other boys.

“We could hang out at my place, maybe watch a movie or nap for a bit? We kept you up pretty late earlier so I wouldn’t mind a quick nap.” B suggests. She was feeling pretty sleepy, and she wanted to feel energized for whatever the boys had planned for tonight.

“That actually sounds really really nice. I wouldn’t mind taking a quick nap, plus we can finally catch up one on one, just me and you.” Kai says, grinning at B.

“You and I.” Taehyun says, correcting Kai’s grammar. “Honestly, I’ll probably spend the whole day sleeping as well, then I’ve got to work a night shift at the café.”

Kai pouts suddenly. “Aw, what? I was hoping you guys would be free tonight, we could all have dinner together or something. My treat.” he offers.

Taehyun fights the urge to smile at how adorably clueless his friend was. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad we were able to celebrate earlier today though. But still, you can ask the other guys if you want to but I think they might be busy too.” he says.

Kai pouts, nods, and takes his phone out to text the other boys. While he’s distracted, B takes the opportunity to communicate to Taehyun.

“Night shift? Really?” she asks, mouthing the words to him behind Kai’s back.

Taehyun shakes his head at her, mouthing back “No. Made it up.” Then he holds up his hand, showing her his fingers crossed which meant he was lying when he told Kai about it.

She nods, understanding him and then gives him a thumbs up.

Just then, the bell rings. B groans and says “Finally!” as she stretches her arms above her head. “This period was a long moment of nothingness.”

Kai nods his head in agreement. “You got that right. Let’s get out of here. Tyun, you gonna walk with us?” he asks, turning to Taehyun. “You guys walk together all the time, right?”

“Yup, let’s get going. I can’t wait to spend the afternoon in bed.” Taehyun says, gathering his things. And with that, the 3 of them leave school together.

•°•

B sent a quick update to the boys as she and Kai step into her apartment. All she had to do now was make sure that he stayed within her sight for the rest of the afternoon, plus she wanted to make sure she was appropriately dressed when they left for the surprise party later. How she could get all dressed up without Kai suspecting anything might be a bit of a challenge, but she was sure she’d come up with an excuse.

“Welcome to my humble abode! When I moved in, I decorated and organized everything by myself, so sorry if it’s a bit of a mess.” B says as Kai’s eyes scan the surroundings. Upon entering the front door, the living room was the first thing that greeted everyone who stepped in. There are 3 doors on the left side, the kitchen to the right separated from the living room by a counter with bar stools set up, and there was a round table with 5 seats set up in front of a pair of sliding glass doors that led into a small balcony at the back.

“Baba, this place looks great. Not bad at all, considering it’s your first time living alone. It’s pretty spacious, too.” Kai says, stepping further into the apartment. “Quick question, how have you survived living alone? I don’t think I could do it, I’m not a very good cook.” he says as he surveys the place, trailing a hand on the kitchen counters.

“It hasn’t been very easy, and honestly I don’t really know how to cook either, so I end up having food delivered a lot or getting takeout instead.” she admits. “I swear, I tried to cook here once on the day I moved in, and I almost burned the kitchen down, so I’m probably never gonna do that again.” she says, laughing sheepishly.

Kai’s eyes widen at her revelation. “Baba! What happened? What did you do?” he asks, almost screaming at her in surprise.

“I tried to cook and then the next thing I know, my smoke detector starts beeping nonstop, then I got so distracted by trying to shut it up, I didn’t notice that the food I was cooking was burning, then the sprinklers came on and my superintendent called to ask what was going on and I had to beg him not to tell my parents about it. It was pretty funny, but yeah, I’m probably never gonna try to cook on my own ever again.” she says, laughing at how ridiculous the whole thing sounded.

“Hey, if you want, we could try cooking a quick meal now? For lunch? I’m no seasoned chef, but I know a thing or two. You deserve to eat a homecooked meal at least once in your own home, after all.” he offers, as he starts rummaging through the fridge. “You got any rice?”

As Kai starts to scrap together ingredients from B’s almost-bare kitchen drawers and shelves, he goes into full focus and even puts on an apron. Whenever B asks him if there was anything she could do to help him, he just waves her off.

She takes a seat on one of the stools at the counter and snaps a quick picture of her bestfriend and she composes a tweet.

“Hey, remember that one time when we were still kids and we tried to cook eggs?” B asks as she puts her phone down. “I think we were at your place, we snuck into the kitchen while the maids weren’t looking, and we had to stand on stools just so we could reach the stove.”

Kai nods, though he still had his eyes focused on his cooking. “I remember you ended up with a burn on your arm cause it accidentally brushed against the pan, and when the maids caught us, you were trying so hard not to cry so they wouldn’t see your burn.”

“Oh yeah, I did get burned that day.” B says, then she lifts the sleeve of her sweater until she spots the barely-there mark just above her wrist. “Ah, memories.”

“You know, I still regret doing that.” Kai admits.

“What? Why? That was such a fun day, I miss being able to come over to each other’s houses and just playing around.” B says.

“Yeah, but the cooking was my idea, and you got hurt because of it.” Kai says, looking at her then with regret. “I know I said it a million times that day, but I’m sorry Baba.”

B scoffs, dismissing his apology. “Come on, it’s fine. I barely felt it anyway, and that was ages ago. Look, it’s your idea to cook today too, and I don’t think anything could go wrong since you’re not letting me do anything to help around the kitchen.”

“That’s cause I wanna make sure that nothing like that happens again.” Kai admits. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Just keep talking to me so I won’t feel too bored.” he requests.

“Alright then, anything you wanna talk about?” B asks, resting her elbows on the counter and leaning forward.

“What exactly happened to you last year?” Kai asks suddenly. B’s heart drops and she feels the knots in her stomach start to form, even though she knew he’d want to hear about it soon. “All you said was something about your family and your dad’s job and stuff, but I could tell you were having a really tough time so I didn’t want to push you into telling me all about it back then. And I guess I understand if it’s still something you’d rather not talk about, but as your best friend I’m just worried about you.”

B takes a deep breath, preparing herself to recount the bad experience. “Okay, I’ll tell you now, but to be completely honest with you, the whole thing was a bit of a blur for me too.”

Kai looks at her with his brows furrowed. “What do you mean? Like, you don’t remember what happened?”

B shakes her head. “No, it’s not like that. I remember what happened, I guess I just don’t understand why or the reason behind it? Or what exactly was going on?”

“Okay, I am very confused right now. If this is your way of saying that you’re not comfortable with talking about it, then it’s fine with me, you really don’t have to tell me.” Kai says, trying to sound comforting.

“No, Ninging, I promise I’m gonna tell you everything I know. The thing is, I don’t know much. How do I begin to explain this…” B wonders aloud, sighing before saying “Okay, do you remember what my dad’s job is?”

Kai nods, his eyes focused on his work in the kitchen. “He’s a lawyer, right?”

“Yup, he’s one of the most high-powered lawyers in the country, he works at CNK, which is a globally recognized law firm. He deals with a lot of high profile clients and is one of the most sought-after attorneys for classified cases, usually for big companies with dirty little secrets.” B explains.

Kai nods again, keeping his eyes focused on his work. “Okay, so what does your dad’s work have to do with you?”

“Everything, I think. At the time, my dad was working on a big classified case. I could tell it was big cause he only went home to sleep, shower, and then he was off to work again. I’ve never shown interest in the cases he works on because it’s his business, and it’s not like he’s allowed to talk about them anyway cause they’re usually classified.” B sighs as she realizes that she was starting to ramble, subconsciously stalling.

“Anyway, he was working on this one case, and I didn’t think it was a big deal, but one night he came home looking really shaken, like he was terrified. We usually have dinner together, me and my parents, but when he got home that night he and my mom immediately went up to his office. I tried my best to listen from outside the door, but at first I could barely hear anything, as if they were whispering. Then suddenly, I can hear my mom start to shout things like ‘drop this case right now,’ ‘what am I supposed to do’ and the one that sent chills down my spine was when she said ‘what about our Baby, what if they come for her?’” she says, trying her best to keep her voice stable.

“‘What if they come for her?’ What’s that supposed to mean?” Kai asks, his brows pulled together as he was trying to process everything she was telling him.

“I think there was a death threat.” B forces herself to say out loud.

There’s a moment of silence as Kai’s hands freeze, and B swore she could hear her heart pounding. She started counting her breaths, trying to slow them down as Kai looks up at her, his eyes meeting hers.

“You think there was a death threat?” he asks, repeating her words.

She nods slowly. Taking a shaky breath before continuing. “Yeah, that’s the only explanation I can think of for what happened, because since that night I’ve had bodyguards with me everyone I went. Outside my bedroom, at the dining table, they’d even be waiting for me outside my classroom and walking with me around school. Not only that, my parents put me on complete lockdown. I was only allowed to go out to school, then I’d be taken straight home. I mean, my parents were always a bit strict, but this was insane.”

“That sounds really rough, Baba. And it sounds scary.” Kai says, looking at her full of concern.

“It really was. I felt like I was suffocating, cause I never got a moment to myself. The bodyguards wouldn’t leave me alone, and of course everyone at my school started to act like total dicks because of it. Stories started going around, my friends started avoiding me because of the rumors, everyone probably thought I was a criminal or something because they all started treating me like an outcast. And I really felt like I was.” B says, remembering the stares she got at her old school.

“The kids at your old school are all idiots for judging you like that.” Kai says.

B sighs. “I don’t blame them, if a student at school suddenly showed up flanked by 2 bodyguards everywhere, I’d probably be weirded out too. But the worst part is, I don’t know why it all happened. My parents were very adamant about not telling me anything. All they said was ‘it’s for your own good.’”

“Oh wow, so they never explained anything to you? They put you through that shit without even telling you why?” Kai asks in disbelief. “I always knew uncle and aunty were a bit strict, but that’s just cruel.”

“Well if it was really a death threat, I guess they just didn’t wanna scare me. It got better once my dad’s firm won the case though. Again, I don’t know what exactly happened, but at the end of the school year my dad won the case, my parents eased up on my bodyguards, but the damage was done. I lost my friends, I was seen as a weirdo at school, and I felt so frustrated and suffocated that I just wanted to get away.” B continues. It was the first time she had said all of this out loud, and as shaken as she was, she felt a lot better to finally let it out.

“So that’s why you begged your parents to let you transfer schools? And move out of the house?” Kai says, finally understanding.

B nods. “Wow, I feel much better letting it all out now.” she says, taking a deep breath. “I’m just glad my parents let me do it. I think they only agreed because they felt bad about the whole thing, but ever since you mentioned when you walked me home the other day, I really do think that they might have secretly hired security to look after me.” she says, laughing at how ridiculous the whole situation sounded.

“You know what? Come here.” Kai says, motioning her over to his side of the kitchen. She stands and walks over to him and is surprised when he suddenly pulls her into his chest and wraps his arms around her.

“Ningning? Wha—?” she starts, but then he hugs her tighter and shushes her.

“Shut up and let me hug you for a moment, alright?” he says, and she feels his body rumble as he laughs. “Listen here, Baba. While I’m around, I promise I won’t let anything hurt you. You got that?”

B tries to relax into the hug, but he was so tall and he was holding her so tight that her face was buried in his chest and she was starting to have a hard time breathing so she lifts her head up and takes a deep breath before saying “Got it. Thank you, Ningning. That means a lot to me.” she says, smiling up at him.

They stay that way for a while longer before she says “Um, I think your food is burning.”

Kai jumps and screams then, panicking as he tries to save his cooking.

The two of them spend the rest of the afternoon picking out the unburnt parts of Kai’s cooking to eat, lying around the couch and chatting with some cheesy Netflix series playing in the background before they fall asleep.

B wakes up when she hears her phone ringing. She notices that the sky was much darker, and she panics when she sees the time and the notifications from Soobin.

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