I don't even remember what a no pain day feels like anymore, I've gotten so used to the aching and throbbing pains, I can't even fathom having zero pain.....10+ years of this already and I finally have a doctor's appointment with someone whom I hope listens to me and is able to help me.

Being asked to rate your pain on a scale as someone who has had chronic pain for several years is so difficult. Like how am I supposed to rate the pain I am experiencing from 1-10 when I have no idea what it feels like to not be in pain. Like what is 0? what is 1?? what is even 10???? What am I comparing it to???? My 5 can be someone else's 10 and their 10 can be someone else's 2, and how is a doctor or anyone else for that matter supposed to tell the difference? Maybe it's because I'm autistic and I'm just overthinking it but it literally makes no sense to me.

"you have such long beautiful legs" awww thank you! :3 they're useless

Just got diagnosed!! Keep fighting for your diagnosis someone will eventually give you an answer. Good luck to those who don't know what's wrong.

I was talking to my mom about mobility aids and also said that I am going to buy compression socks/gloves and she got SO mad, she told me those things are for old people and that I'm not going to use any of those things, even if I pay for them myself, all because "you're only 19, you DON'T need them!!" I'm so tired

Invisible illness is still an illness!!!

Chronic pain that you can push through 99% of the time is still chronic pain!!!

Chronic illness means that sometimes you have to rain check with your friends because you can't control when it gets bad.

Don't push yourself, its ok to not be ok.

God, most days I can take it. I can swallow the pain and grit my teeth through the nausea and smile through the aching. I can find ways to convince myself that this life of mine is good good good. But some days I wake up after a night of not sleeping and I cry into my hard boiled eggs. Some days the pain in my shoulder means the world is going to end and the stiffness in my back heralds a sinkhole that swallows me whole. Some days I can’t take the fact that I’m still sitting in this house while everyone else keeps moving moving moving.

Some days it all comes crashing down, and I wonder if I was ever able to withstand it at all.

casual dating with chronic illness feels impossible sometimes. having to explain why i can’t go out to dinner, go hiking, or even get in a stupid hot tub. i can’t go to farmers markets on the weekends or go to concerts and genuinely enjoy myself without worrying about passing out. “nice to meet you! i like to lay horizontally and if i stand for too long i’ll faint. want to sleep together?”

Health update for those who care:

Had a hypomanic episode because I forgot to pick up my antispsychotics

Which led to me overdoing physical activity and therefore a BAD pain flare up that I’m still going through

I have received confirmation via MRI and ultrasound that my ankle has in fact been sprained for six years. My other ankle has considerable damage as well.

Several doctors have mentioned EDS (hypermobile and Classical) to me based on the type of ligament and tendon damage I have

I need to get injections in my ankles and then surgery on the bad one. At least there’s a solution!

Anyways hi I’m back!

i remember being ten years old and wishing to die rather than experience the pain i was in yet still my parents and my doctors didn’t believe me. sometimes it just hits me. that wasn’t a normal experience for a ten year old, was it?

i read and follow the same hashtags every single day here. the day i joined c punk community? i was blessed. it's SO comforting to know i'm not alone in this, to know there are so many people like me. i love reading your posts, seeing your selfies with your mobility aids, just witnessing you being here.

so if you make posts about cpunk, disabilities and mobility aids, you directly help me feel better every day.

For fucks sake

My geography teacher has this game that she likes to play when we finish the day's revision topic(we finished the course in Jan). It's would you rather. But you have to sit or stand up for your answer. This has resulted in several near fainting episodes and triggered a 2 week flare up. Today, 1 of the lads asked if we could just stick our hands up. In that moment I would have done anything for that fucker despite his previous shitiness. She told him to stop being so fucking lazy. JUST STOP CAUSING FLARE UPS PLEASE!!! I AM BEGGING YOU!!!

I say we start treating able-bodied people the way they treat someone chronically ill

"oh? you got ran over by a car so you can't do the groceries? but did you try hard enough? like if you wanted to you could, you're just being lazy. the same happened to my cousin's boyfriend's dad's friend and he's okay, stop with all the exaggeration!! it was just a car, there's people who got ran over by a bus, don't be selfish. did you try doing yoga yet? also, this special herbal tea I saw on facebook will totally cure you"