#Chris: I’m going to cause problems on purpose :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tanniefm · 10 months

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all mine | jjk (m)

summary - after a heated argument in the car, jungkook makes sure to set you straight in the only way he knows how.

pairing - jungkook x (f) reader

genre - smut/minor angst, established relationship

word count - 1.5k

song inspo - all mine by brent faiyaz (but also seven cause FUCKKKKKKK)

warnings - jealousy and misunderstandings, lowkey sexual harassment (not from jk ofc), explicit language (especially calling kook out his name 🫣), angry car sex, daddy kink, unprotected sex (yes yes bad we know), creampie, reader says sorry while she gets fucked and jk like doesn’t care 😭, they love each other a lot still

a/n - heard the explicit ver of seven and my jaw dropped and pussy started throbbing and this is the result of that :)

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Jungkook is having the worst possible time right now. When he came home from the studio this evening, he fully expected to see you laid out on the couch watching some random show in those tiny little pajamas he likes. He’d forget all his stress and the minor headache he’s had for the past hour and squeeze, and kiss, and touch his pretty girl to his heart’s content. He did not account for the fact that you’d be slipping into a form-fitting dress and fussing over how long it would take to do your hair and makeup.

“Um…where are you going?” he asks with a raised brow. “To the company dinner I told you about, remember? I told you about it before you left.” Jungkook does not in fact remember. How could he when his dick was stuffed down your throat and his eyes were rolled to the back of his head? But that was earlier, and this is now.

“Oh. Should I like, change or..” he trails off. In all honesty, he really didn’t want to go, he knows if he said as much you’d be completely fine with him staying home, the problem is he doesn’t want you to go either. You look over at him and see his cute little pout. You had a feeling he'd act this way, he had a tendency to be needy for your presence. You always found it endearing though, he was like a clingy puppy at times.

“Yes baby, wear something nice please, it's business casual but you know I can't pass up an opportunity to get dolled up,” you wink. He sighs wistfully and goes into your shared closet to find an acceptable dress shirt. Since your dress is gray he felt it was only right to wear a gray shirt with a black blazer overtop and some freshly pressed black slacks. You always call him corny when he tries to coordinate his outfits with yours but he knows you secretly love it. All he can do is hope the dinner is short so he can end the night with both of you fucked out in bed.

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He really tried to have a good time, honestly. You seemed to be making it very hard for him, however (both literally and figuratively). He couldn’t seem to stop staring at how good you looked in your dress, the way his hands itched to caress your curves drove him insane. And not to mention how everytime you’d politely laugh at whatever your coworker was saying, your boobs would jiggle like they were purposely trying to taunt him. If Jungkook had his way, he would’ve taken you in the restaurant bathroom by now, but he promised before you two left to be good. But you just make it so, so hard for him.

“_____? Oh my god, how are you? I haven’t seen you in ages!” You turn to see the source of the familiar voice only to find an old friend from high school. “Chris? Holy shit I didn’t know you worked here! I’m good, it feels like we haven’t talked in forever,” you say cheerily. Jungkook slightly furrows his brow, Chris? You never mentioned a Chris before. As he watched the two of you catch up, he couldn’t help but notice the dark look in Chris’ eye. The way he seemed to look down at your breasts and ass more than he did your eyes. He knew exactly what that look meant, and he had no intention of watching him continue on with it. What especially irritated him was how naive you seemed to be to it. How could you not see that Chris wasn’t listening to a word you said? But the last straw was seeing him lean in for a hug and watching his hands slowly but surely make their way to your lower back, dangerously close to your ass.

“Ok that’s enough,” Jungkook said gruffly. He tugged you out of his arms and swiftly pulled you along out of the restaurant. “Jungkook what the fuck?” You were honestly surprised he was handling you like this, who the fuck does he think he is to be gripping on your arm like you’re some kind of bad child?

“Get in the car,” he says sternly. He must’ve lost his damn mind. “Excuse me?” Where was this coming from? Just a second ago he seemed fine, why is he acting so pissy all of a sudden? “What the fuck is your problem Jungkook? What are you so mad about?” you ask desperately. He says nothing as he opens the passenger’s door and waits for you to get in. You scoff and sit down, rolling your eyes while doing so. He always hated when you rolled your eyes at him, and frankly, it was pissing him off even more. But it’s ok. He knows how to get that little bratty attitude you had to go away.

He gets into his seat and takes a deep breath. “So. You and Chris seem close huh,” he says calmly. You raise a brow and look at him with utter confusion. “Uh no, not really. I haven’t talked to him since I graduated,” you reply. He gives a huff of laughter and shakes his head. “Then why exactly was he giving you ‘fuck me’ eyes baby?” Realistically he knows he’s being overdramatic. Chris was obviously being a creep and you just so happened to be the person he set his eyes on. But Jungkook’s been annoyed the whole night, and it seemed like this was the catalyst for his patience.

“How should I know? It’s not like I was purposely trying to seduce him!” you say exasperatedly. This is ridiculous! Does he think you wanted to make him jealous or something? For what? He was making zero sense right now, and all it was doing was making you angry.

You two went back and forth for what couldn’t be more than 10 minutes before saying something you knew you should’ve never said. “Fuck Jungkook, why are you being such a little bitch right now,” you exclaim, annoyed. His eyes widen slightly before his entire face hardens. You’ve never seen him look so serious. “Come here.” He leans his seat back slightly and looks at you expectantly. “Baby I-“ “I wasn’t asking,” he interrupts. You’re so fucked.

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“Fuu-uu-uuuck m’ sorry! M’ so sorry!” you cry out into the steadily rocking car. Jungkook grips your hips tight as he pulls you up and down on his fat dick. “Sorry? Oh, but I thought I was a bitch? What happened baby?” he grunts. This is exactly what he needed. He's been pent up ever since he got home and he needed to pound into this tight cunt to relieve all this pent-up stress he’s been feeling.

“N-no! Didn’t mean it I promise daddy, promise!” Your eyes start to roll to the back of your head. You’re so fucking close. He’s hitting your g-spot with precision, angling his hips in just the right way to take you over the edge. His big, strong hands move down to your behind and grab each globe. He holds you still and pistons into you with an ever-growing speed.

“Don’t give this pussy to anyone else, do you hear me? he pants as he throws his head back in ecstasy. “Whose pussy is this?” he questions. “It’s yours, daddy! Yours yours yours, no one else’s!” you moan out. His moans start raising in pitch as he works his throbbing length in and out of you. Your wetness staining his dress pants and his seat. “Uhhhh fuckkk I’m almost there princess I’m right there hold on baby,” he babbles.

You bring your hands to the back of his neck to lift his head to yours, making sure those pretty doe eyes of his look directly into yours. “C'mon, daddy. Cum in your pussy,” you say seductively. His eyes shut tightly as he lets out a loud whine. His hips still and press into you as deep as your walls will allow him as he paints them white. Feeling his warmth overflow from inside of you triggers your orgasm right away, you tuck your head into his neck as you sob and shake.

Jungkook wraps his arms around you and kisses your head repeatedly as you both breathe heavily and try to bring yourselves down from the intense moment. He squeezes you into his arms as if you’ll disappear if he doesn’t have a strong hold on you. His kisses go down to your face where he peppers them all over your cheeks and lips, whispering how much he loves you and how good you were for him.

“I love you so much ____ please don’t ever leave me,” he whimpers into your mouth. You pull away and look at him incredulously. “Baby…why would I leave you?” you ask softly. “I just…I don't know. I guess I got a little insecure back at the restaurant. I know it's stupid but, for a second it really seemed like I was losing you.” he explains sadly. You frown and give him a long, heartfelt kiss. “Koo baby, I don't even think about anyone else when I have you. You're all I need.” He blushes and grants you his precious bunny smile.

“My big jealous baby, you know I love you.” ♡

#bts fic #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fic #bts fanfic #jungkook boyfriend #jeon jungkook fic #jungkook x reader smut #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook

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onewmin · 11 months

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the perfume on the shelf. pt. 5 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader (briefly for now)

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, SMUT!! (minors dni!!!), heavy make out sesh lol, slight nipple play, cockblocking the readers, Chan being depressed/disappointed in himself, profanity, mental issues, angst, clichés (I’m a fan of them), typos, change of povs. Flashbacks, which are closer to the end, are in italics. Another set of Taylor Swift references + some One Direction and Harry Styles ones, even a GOT7 reference… very creative of me lol

Author’s note: another depressive episode for everyone in “the perfume on the shelf”, definitely not something you expected to see when you started reading this work lmao hope you liked it!! Let me know what you think!!

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 4 | Part 6

Chan could feel the walls shaking from the way you slammed the door. Only after having heard the angry stomps fade away, he laid down on the bed, hands covering his face. That’s for the good, he thought, she’ll be better off without me.

Of course he lied to you. Of-fucking-course!

However, some of his words were true — those ones about ‘the thrill expiration’ especially. It happened to him quite often not to notice the pattern: since the middle school, if a girl reciprocated his feelings, he started growing cold. He tried to make it better later in life, going to therapy to find out the reason of it — but nothing worked. His pride was definitely damaged when another girlfriend of his broke up with him, but it wasn’t for long. The breakup just turned into a great opportunity to make an album, to make his tiny misery bring him any profit possible.

Something similar happened with his last girlfriend. When she was a bit detached, still pining over her ex but already dating Chan, he was infatuated. The second she realized she had feelings for him, Chris got that chills down his spine — the first sign he was falling out of love. No amount of therapy really helped.

Though, he tried. He tried really fucking hard with his last girlfriend: they even went to a couple therapy several times, before she eventually realized he was the problem.

“I can’t fix you”, she said during their last conversation, “and I’m not supposed to. You’ve gotta fix it yourself”.

She was right, Chan knew that. Every time he got out of a relationship, he realized what a mistake it had been to get attached to someone in the first place. But he just couldn’t help it. A pretty girl, with similar hobbies, more intelligent than he’d ever be, but with no feelings towards him? A jackpot. And all her quirks he adored so much turned into annoying habits the moment she uttered “I love you” in response.

He hoped it wouldn’t happen with you. The second he realized he’d been in love that whole time, Chris wished you’d never reciprocate. He could’ve spent his entire life being your best friend, having sex with you and just loving you without having his feelings acknowledged. Yeah, that’s the moment when he resisted therapy. Chan himself stated he couldn’t do anything about it: this unrequited shit just happened.

However, that wasn’t the whole truth. He could do a lot of things about it, but he just wouldn’t. ‘Cause living like that was easier. It was a familiar scenario, a path he’d walked on thousand times. His therapist had tried every thing possible to get Chris to work it out, but Chan and his stubbornness, his unwillingness to fix anything worked harder.

But with you? What could he do with you?

Chan remembered the feeling vividly. When he got the message, when he realized you were going to leave him there was no chill going down his spine, there was no growing coldness, no relief. Only pure fear that you would disappear from his life forever. And losing you without actually loving you… It seemed like a nightmare. What would he do without your dolphin-like laugh? You, the only person, who rolled on the floor after another set of his dad jokes, you, who brought in your own pile of puns just to make him smile.

What would he do if you suddenly disappeared? Not something he could imagine. He got used to calling you at night just to hear your voice, got used to running his hand through your hair whenever you kissed him, to hearing your whimpers when he roamed his hands over your body. He couldn’t imagine his life without you in it.

Although now he would have to adjust to the new realia.

He kicked you out from outer space back to Earth, with no spacesuit on. And Chan could only imagine the way the falling must hurt.

“What you are saying”, his therapist (one of many) once asked, “is that you love the process of ‘chasing’. Correct?”

“Yeah”.

“What else do you like about it?”

“The fact that I can make an album out of it”.

True. He could’ve been hurt by a breakup, but music would always put him back on his feet. Music, that was his solace, his guardian angel, had always made him more and more successful and popular, despite the broken heart and fucked up mental state. A harsh word spat at him, or his unrequited love rejected — everything was turned into a tune, a poem, a song. Every little detail of all his relationships. All but the one with you.

Maybe he’d find inspiration to write weeks later, who knows. However, now was the time to suffer in silence, no poetic lyrics coming into his head. Chris suspected that, perhaps, he wouldn’t be able to create anything at all: he was hurt, hurt so terribly by his own actions that making something decent out of it couldn’t be possible.

“Holy shit”, the thought ran through his head, “even now I’m thinking about music, about making money? What kind of an asshole am I?”

A heartless piece of shit, as you put it. And you were right.

His only chance to redeem himself as a partner, you slipped away as if you had never been there. A vivid dream, full of graphic details of every move of your body, those birthmarks on your thighs, and the feeling of your nails digging into his shoulders. He would savour the moments till he sucked them dry, until nothing but intolerance to the very thought of you would be left.

Because he dropped your reaching hand, brushed off the soothing touch, pushed you away. Chan wouldn’t have ever forgiven someone who treated him this way; whether he was a masochist of a sort, willingly loving people unconditionally, that type of attitude would have been a full stop. Although deep inside his twisted heart he hoped you’d take him back.

Chan dreaded coming back home, lying in bed, falling into the loneliness again. This time he couldn’t reason with himself — there were no excuses to his atrocious actions. It wasn’t the case of the “expired thrill”, as he had lied confidently before, it was the case of him hurting you even more if there was no rejection. What if he lost interest when the two of you would get more serious, married, with kids? What if he lost interest and hurt you more? He couldn’t allow any more pain he could cause you; even him genuinely reciprocating the feelings, loving you in every way possible couldn’t do anything. In his chase for potentially unresponsive partners Chan had become someone else. Someone even he wouldn’t want around.

But the question never left. Didn’t he take it too far? Allowing you to fall in love with him and turning your friendship into this mess? To be honest, the friendship was never one hundred percent genuine: Chris had always held hopes in getting with you, even if he was dating someone at any point of that period.

Perhaps, letting all of this happen was his ‘revenge’ master plan from the beginning. He’d fallen for you quite quickly, never really hiding the fact of it. You were oblivious to his flirtations, too engrossed in the relationship with Yugyeom. Shit, Chris hated that motherfucker. Chan could never really comprehend what was so special about Kim Yugyeom to you. Was it his height? Him being the top class student? His exchange program at Columbia University? Chris even asked you once, but you started talking about some nonsense he didn’t understand at the time. Something about… Yugyeom picking you up in his arms whenever you fell over, Yugyeom being your only solace in the world.

Why was it Yugyeom? Why? Chan couldn’t accept the fact that you held onto your first love so much and so long just because of some stupid cheesy shit. Was Kim Yugyeom there when you drank yourself unconscious because of the breakup with him? Was Yugyeom there when you broke your leg and had to stay home for over a month? Nope, he wasn’t. Chris was. He was there at every high and low, at every little win and major lose — same as you were for him. But you never noticed Chan loving you. You would hug him tightly, peck him on his cheeks, praise his success and cheer him up at his losses, but never, ever loving him back. So maybe, you finally falling in love with him was an act of vengeance for his unrequited love.

But what did he achieve with this master plan of his? You leaving him? A tremendous success, Chris. He would never win this battle: no matter how much he hurt you, your relationship with him would never be mourned by you as much as the one with your ex. Shit, you were still wearing that damn necklace with Yugyeom’s initials! After all these years! Chan had given you a ring as a present, hoping you’d take off the necklace, but you never did. And that was when Chris realized whose name was carved in your heart. Lingered like a fucking tattoo, that first love of yours.

And four years ago, when you were already single, when Yugyeom came to Seoul at one of his rare visits after he stayed in New York… You were out with Chris, a typical Friday night out for the two of you. Food, beer, gossiping, planning to have a movie night at his place. Just two best friends enjoying their time together, when you suddenly asked Chris whether he was okay if you left. And your tipsy explanation, eyes reddening and welling up with tears, because it was Yugyeom, and you had to, just had to see him once again. Chan couldn’t stand to see you crying, so he let you go, gaslighting himself into thinking, “It’s the last time, she’ll forget about him soon”. A lie you would frequently tell everyone, yourself included, was that you got over Yugyeom. ‘Cause you never did. And Chris mercilessly hoped you were as hurt now as he had been before.

If so, why did it cause him so much pain? Why wasn’t he happy and relieved you were finally in his shoes? Why?

“You’re a fucking moron”, Minho’s voice sounded exactly like Chan’s inner one. The man was his inner voice, his conscience indeed.

“Yeah, I know”.

“What did you tell her? The same bullshit you said to me?”

“I’m tired, Minho”.

Lee Know huffed. “Tired of being an ass to people who love you? Can’t believe it”.

“What d’you wanna hear from me? That I’m sorry? That I shouldn’t have done all that? You think, I don’t know that already?”

Minho shook his head, his piercing gaze starring right into Chan’s twisted soul. “I think, you’ll lose everyone if you keep this bullshit on”.

The next day hit Chan heavily, like an avalanche falling and burying him under the snow. He hated the snow, winter and cold; everything related to a slight chill resulted in Chris’ mood dropping to its lowest.

But now it was the middle of July, with warm wind blowing through the trees and sun shining. Chan stood in the hospital park outside the building, starring straight into the sun, with no sunglasses on. No protection to his eyes, maybe he’d go blind — it was the least of the punishments he could’ve gotten for what he did to you. He despised the tiniest image of himself.

The eyes eventually became teary, making Chan squeeze them and cover his face with the palm of his hand. How would blindness help to redeem yourself, dumbass?

Chris sat down on the bench, his thumb scrolling down your texts. You tended to be pretty active on social media, always posting stories and tweeting, but it was radio silence for a week. Firstly, you were probably too stressed to post, only having your cat show up on your stories occasionally; secondly, you were too busy with your job — as you always had been, Chan knew that too well — and worrying about him. Thirdly, you always disappeared from the ‘public’ eye whenever your life turned into shit. And this time it was truly fucked up.

Chris had typed dozens of messages everywhere his hand could reach you. He typed, erased, typed again, went back to his notes, hesitated to send and erased. It was a vicious cycle he repeated over hours. And not once during this time had you sent him a word. Perhaps, he had found the answer to the question he kept on asking himself, “Who’s gonna be the first to say goodbye?”

You tried to, but it was Chan who pushed you away. He could only sit there and overthink every little detail, absorbing in the memory of you, still hoping — maybe, you’d take him back, maybe it was going to be over in mere time.

“Maybe if I write her a song, a thousand songs, maybe she’ll come back?” Yeah? And what happened to actually apologizing? To saying sorry using your fucking mouth while being face-to-face?

Chan didn’t know how to properly apologize. What could he have said for you to actually forgive him? It seemed that no word or action would ever bring you peace and make you forget his harsh monologue.

Chris got back to the hospital room, his mom collecting his things. They didn’t talk much; his parents were still outraged with him — no wonder, you fucker — however, they stayed with him, silently waiting for him to defrost like a fucking Anna at the end of “Frozen”.

His dad was there too, helping him, letting Chris lean on him while walking. Chan was finally going home, and there were only his parents to take him there. Minho left as well; Chan knew it was his fault again that his best friend lost every bit of hope and trust in him. Lee Know wasn’t the one to sulk over every little thing; but if he happened to be fed up with shit, he wouldn’t stay. He’d disappear for some time to clear his mind. “And maybe to realize what a shitty friend I’d been”, Chris thought, entering the apartment.

His parents didn’t ask either about Minho or you; Lee Know had probably told them everything already. Whatever, Chris lied in his back on the floor in the living room, he’ll thaw out eventually. Han used to say they were like an old married couple, a young, successful singer and his choreographer, the closest friends you’d see in the industry. Since the moment they met four years ago, there wasn’t a moment they didn’t share, always being together. Now Chan felt as if that time was over. He knew how deeply he hurt Minho, spitting poisonous words at him too. He hurt the two people love the most besides his parents.

“Channie, I’ve made dinner. Eat with us, please”. His mom sat down on the floor beside him, cautiously observing her son. She ran her hands through his hair, the thing he loved when he was a kid. She noticed him growing up, but never expected to find her son so lost and broken. And it ripped her heart apart to know they couldn’t help him unless he made the first step towards everyone and everything.

“I’m not hungry”, he mumbled, eyes closed. “You and dad, you two should eat. I’ll do it later. Maybe”.

She singed and stroked his cheek, getting up from the floor. She was his mother, but he was a full grown adult. She couldn’t fix his problems and save him as she used to do when he fell down when he was a kid. He had to get up himself now.

Though, was he capable of it?

Chan didn’t know how much time passed. He might have dozed off to be awoken by his dad, who gently asked him to move to the bed. Obliging and getting up, Chris noticed it had gotten dark outside; that whole day was a blur.

Lying down on the bed, he checked his phone. Still nothing from you. Radio silence from Minho. Only Han texting him non-stop, some of his friends in the industry checking up on him in the DMs. Putting Jisung aside, the rest of the people were strangers. Those, who Chan wanted to hear from, got evicted from the big apartment of his heart by the vicious landlord. The latter, obviously, was Chris himself.

He dozed off again. Everything seemed just so… Pointless. Pointless to beg for forgiveness, pointless to try and fix something. This time, he massively fucked up. And Chan had no idea if there was a way out of it.

Every day turned into a blur. He’d wake up, lay there for half an hour, thinking of you, envisioning you while jerking off, imagining it was your hand, your hot breath on his neck, your kisses on his jaw. He’d be ashamed of himself, turning another memory of you into dirty thoughts; he missed every little thing about you. After showering he’d have breakfast, his parents long gone to work, but a small note from each of them on the fridge door. They got back to their house after a few days and a doctor’s visit, as he told that Chan’s recovery was quite successful. He didn’t really need much help anymore; the pain had faded — but only the physical one. Three weeks had passed since he last saw you and Minho.

And since then, every day turned into Groundhog Day. Same routine, eating what his parents cooked, talking to them over the phone or spending time at their house, just to fill in the hole inside. Han would come and see him almost every day, bringing those stupid board games he was obsessed with. Chan was grateful to have at least one true friend left.

Jisung didn’t ask any questions and insinuate any conversations. Only occasionally Chan would catch him texting someone — he saw Minho’s name on screen — and he had to physically restrain himself from dropping to his knees and beg Han to arrange a meeting with Lee Know. If he only got through this shit with his best friend, he’d get you back too. However, Chris never asked.

He only leaned towards sleeping, napping his problems away. Drowning in the memories and dreams of you, Chan found himself losing those thin threads connecting him to reality. He’d fall asleep, confident you were there, only to wake up to an empty bed.

Today he dozed off early again. When he woke up, Chan blinked slowly before staring into the ceiling again. The room was dark, as the flat itself. Han had probably left already, perhaps, another board game not to discreetly put on the shelf. Yeah, he did. It was 1:31 A.M. It was too late for someone like Jisung to go home past midnight.

Chris looked to his right, to the empty space where you used to lay. He swore to himself at that exact moment that he’d stay in this place, in this bed forever if you magically appeared there the next second. He would stay anywhere, freeze in his movement, turn into an icy sculpture that could melt under the sun — anything. He would do anything to have you here, with him, at that moment and for eternity.

Chan could almost feel the smell of the shampoo in your hair, while you were lying there, back pressed against his chest. His arm you used as a pillow would always go numb, but he’d keep it there, right under your head — just to absorb in you as much as possible. He wished he could have traced his fingers along your arm, feeling the shivers appear, and leaving small kisses on your shoulder. Never in a million years he ever felt this much ache inside his chest.

Images of you started floating in his head — not that they ever left — your face, your hands massaging his back, your laugh. He could still drown in the aroma of that perfume you used, the one that you were keeping on the bookshelf in your bedroom. You couldn’t bare using any fragrance as the smells made you sick (no matter how good they were, you just weren’t built for this kind of thing), but Chan remembered one specific moment. That moment now resulted in this perfume being the smell he couldn’t live without.

“Either take it off, or I’ll gladly do it for you”.

You stood in front of the mirror in Chan’s room, a new bathing suit on. You tried it on multiple times: at the outlet, at home after washing it and now here, in his room. You wanted to hear the honest opinion of his, but Chris only tended to spill out vulgar remarks concerning your appearance. Not that you hated it.

“Ugh, shut up”, you groaned, turning to look at your back in the mirror. A two-piece bikini really accentuated your ass and hip dips. That was good, but… You had never worn a two-piece bikini after you turned nineteen. You gained some weight and had the same body shape for years; despite never being shamed for your body, you felt insecure, even after losing some of the weight due to exercising with Chan. He basically made you suffer at the gym — all because you once said you needed a personal trainer to actually start working out. He took in that position immediately. Even though the trainings with him were truly resulting in your body transforming, lately it all turned into overly sexual workouts. He would be behind you, too close for a trainer, hands on your hips, his bulge dangerously close to your entrance. Every freaking time you two would end up having a quickie in his car after. Every time.

You sighed, turning to face yourself in the mirror again. You didn’t have abs, but your squishy belly was almost gone, now replaced with muscles and something close to mid-flatness (Chris said there was no such thing, but you disagreed). You always felt like people were judging you while wearing a bathing suit; and now, in a freaking bikini, would they judge you even more?

“What’s wrong?” Chris was behind you in no time, arms wrapped around your waist and his head on your shoulder. He looked at you through the reflection in the mirror, picking on your slightly confused face.

“I dunno if”, you stuttered, your palms landing on his hands, “if I look okay in the bikini”.

“Okay?” The tone of his voice, the guttural sound he let out made you chuckle. “Are you kiddin’ me? You look fantastic”, he whispered, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

And when you wanted to say something else, to somehow doubt his words again, Chris slightly moved, his half-hard dick pressing into your ass. You arched your back almost automatically, scarcely catching the moan from escaping you mouth.

A pleased hum in response from him. You felt his hot breath on your neck, lips leaving burning kissed on your neck. “Shit, baby”, his eager hands roaming around your body, “you smell so fucking good. Did you put it on just for me?”

A choked answer, something incoherent left your mouth. When Chan’s hand untied the straps of your swimsuit bottom, you could swear you would turn into ashes right then and there.

“I’m gonna go crazy”, he growled into your neck, hands firmly holding you waist, keeping you in your place. “I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t fuck you right now”.

You gulped, head still spinning slowly. You were always too easy to break into pieces with his touch only, it was a fact. Although today you wanted to last longer. You wanted to win that round.

Turning around, you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers in his hair. “You’re only interested in me when you wanna fuck, Christopher?”

Chan remembered being taken aback by your words, the boldness in your voice he had never heard before. He liked that; he liked that you could be bold when he didn’t expect you to. But that question… How could you even think that?

“I’m interested in you when I wanna fuck, that’s true”, he answered, lips brushing over your nose, “but I only wanna fuck you, ever”.

“That’s a terrible answer”, you relied, chuckling under your breath. “Still sounds like I’m just a fuck toy to you”.

Chan buried his head in the crook of your neck, sighing deeply. He whined your name into your skin, the sensation of his lips on your most sensitive part making you rub your thighs slightly. Almost automatically begging for friction.

“You’re not a fuck toy”, Chan went on, trailing kisses along your neck, “you’re much more than that”. You mewled in response, resulting in Chris grabbing a handful of your ass. “So much more, baby”.

Goddamn it. That was true; you were much more than a fuck buddy, a friend with benefits — you were his entire world wrapped in a lovely jewel, whose shine reflected on him. But only slightly. The rays of your solar system reached his black hole in small doses only — enough to cling onto them for his existence’s sake, but not enough to make you his and his Sun only. Your solar system, no matter how much time passed, was shining just for Yugyeom, waiting for him to take the sunlight in, to be absorbed in the sun beams.

How Chris wished he had met you earlier. Before Yugyeom, maybe when you were kids, so that you and him would’ve been ‘childhood friends to lovers’.

Chan envied Yugyeom. The blackest waves of purest hatred towards the man you’d been in love with rose inside Chris. Probably that was the thing that couldn’t let Chan believe you loved him back just as much — his inner voice, that overthinking anxious coward insinuating you would come back to Yugyeom in a heartbeat. The reality of the things didn’t really matter — only Chan projecting his insecurities onto you did.

He rubbed his eyes and let out an exhausted sigh. Chris was running on empty with that constant overthinking. He’d rather be back there, in this same bedroom several months ago, when none of it went down the drain yet.

When you were underneath his body in mere seconds, every word of yours swallowed by his hungry kisses. The bikini top was still on; however, Chan got rid of his clothes, wearing his boxers only. He just liked the view, the yellow piece of clothing barely covering those parts of the body he’d be the only one to see.

Your whole body ached because Chris only kissed you. His hands were squeezing your waist, but never reached the places where you craved them to be. Not that Chan didn’t want to, quite the opposite — the way you arched your back every time his boner brushed over your bare core, the way you whimpered, trying to get him touch you. But he just couldn’t miss the opportunity to tease you.

“Ch-Chris”, you inhaled sharply, legs wrapping around his waist, “please”.

He smirked, lips crushing onto yours in another passionate kiss, and his hand finally moving up your body.

“Why did you buy it?” He breathed out, fingers lingering over your already hardened nipple. “It’s so fucking revealing. Do you want”, he moved the fabric to expose your boobs, “everyone to see this?”

His mouth landed onto your nipple in an instant, licking, sucking, biting — all in a spin of a moment, not letting you adjust to one sensation only. You made a strangled noise, eyes closed to give in the feeling of him only. Chan’s left hand was massaging your other breast, not leaving any part of your body unattended.

The sight of you, so lost in pleasure of him sucking on your nipples only… He could come from this, from having you fall apart under the slightest of his touch.

The memories were so real, that vision of you being right here and now was so true, Chris caught himself palming his growing bulge through the fabric of his pajama pants. Shit. If you were here, if he could only tell you how much he loved you, how much he cherished you loving him back, if he could reassure you it was different now, that he never really meant what he told you weeks ago… If only.

A sudden sound of the doorbell interrupted his reminiscence of the past, making Chris jump up in the bed. He was panting, his heart was racing — he wasn’t expecting guests at such an hour.

Moving extra cautiously, Chan approached the door. At first, he didn’t doubt the sight he witnessed through the peephole was another hallucination his touch-starved mind showed him. Upon the second look… It was not a mirage.

He opened the door in an instant, struggling not to pull you in and capture you in his embrace, so that you’d never leave him again. But he just stood there, staring, gawking at you, the gaze of yours never leaving his eyes.

“Hi”.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf

#bang chan #bang chan imagine #bang chan x female reader #bangchan #bangchan imagine #bangchan imagines #stray kids imagines

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pinheadbella · 3 months

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My Thoughts on TDI Reboot Season 2 (now that I’ve watched the whole thing) (spoilers below)

Short answer: It got progressively worse once merge hit. It started off with some interesting plots and relationships. But then it chose to focus on one of those ships, have the show and the strategies revolve around it, and not end their story until the very last second. When I thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. The writers kept choosing to prioritize characters that had WAY TOO MUCH SCREENTIME ALREADY. And that caused me to root for their downfall not because they were running the game and needed to be defeated cause they’re evil or whatever. But because I was getting sick of seeing/hearing them and didn’t want them to win. The season did end on a good-ish note and I do like the winner. But the ending would’ve been better if the winner had more of an impact on the plot/strategy.

Long answer hooo boy uh

Let’s go from what I have the least thoughts on to what I have the most thoughts on

Chase I’m 100% okay with the placement of. I didn’t want him to stay for long. But I also didn’t want him to be the first boot in case he had any funny left in him. As horrible of a person as he is, I preferred his slapstick and douchbaggery over Scary Girl’s dark humor. Speaking of-

-Scary Girl I wished wasn’t bluffing when she said she would make everyone pay. I thought for sure she was going to come back. ESPECIALLY in the final four challenge. I thought she was gonna reappear as a helper hired by Chris to make things scarier. Or that she would hijack the challenge and make things more deadly than Chris planned. If there is a season three, I hope she gets some kinda revenge.

Millie served her purpose and I liked the story that was told with her. She didn’t commit to practicing/training and she paid for it. She lost the trust of her team and her friends. She was forgiven by Damien, the specific person she wronged, and got out before the story could devolve into something similar to Gwen and Courtney in All Stars. My one wish is that Priya would’ve thought about her bestie more once she was gone.

Nichelle I was surprisingly alright with. Compared to everyone else at least. Good for her for training and being good at stunts now. The “in your face Hollywood” bits did get annoying. I had a hunch she wouldn’t last long. She was all challenge beast no social gamer. And I was kinda right? Her quitting in the team phase meant that she wasn’t whining/being a hypocrite for long. She somehow became my love to hate character of this season. You go girl!

I’m still so confused how Zee got out over Caleb. Like, I can get why Damien would vote Zee. He exposed not just his underwear secret but his Wizard Squire secret. But what about everyone else? Zee’s as non-threatening as Wayne and as sweet as season 1 Priya. Why get the chill nice guy out before CALEB THE BUFF “ALEJANDRO” (in quotes because he was mistaken as being such)

Emma is the most underused character this season. Out of all the team phase boots, hers was the most upsetting. I wanted her to last long without Chase. I wanted her to make new friends. I wanted some kind of acknowledgment of her friendship with Bowie. But what we got was…her trying in a challenge and failing because apparently not knowing how people answer random questions proves she’s not a good person??? She had so much potential and she was booted in such a lame way…

Bowie’s arc I liked a lot even if it was a bit flawed. I knew he wasn’t gonna go too far. And I knew he’d be in hot water from the start since he was the villain that made it the furthest. I think the cheating arc was great development for him. He’s known for being competitive and doing what it takes to win. But then he finds out Raj doesn’t like cheating. And he feels guilty by the end because he made his bf upset. I’m glad Bowie is shown to have a heart while still wanting to play the game. The problem I have is how suddenly the cheating arc ended. And how Bowie of all the cheaters paid the most for it. That early merge screwed him over. And everyone believing Julia about Bowie being the cheating mastermind…little did I know that was a red flag for a finalist’s plot armor.

Ripper and Axel, I wished there was more substance with you two. How they got together was cute and silly. I like how they bond over artsy things and stopped being as mean to people. But holy shit. Why did they have to be the comic relief couple? You can’t do this to me. You can’t just casually hint that Ripper has a bad family life in season 1 and not bring that back up to make Axel fall for him harder. You can’t just take a kickass survival girl and turn her into a sappy, swooning mess. You had good characters and then you turned them into THAT. If we get a season 3 please put them on separate teams and have them develop AS PEOPLE NOT AS GAGS

Damien wins the award for the BIGGEST ROBBERY OF THE SHOW. Literally. Of his idol. And he couldn’t have even gotten out in a more dignified way. He was gone for half the challenge after we only get a speck of a rivalry between him and Julia. And then his idol is stolen OFFSCREEN. And then he’s flown off kicking and screaming. If that was supposed to be funny, it’s not. Every time this dude tries to be a hero, everything blows up in his face. Which sucks. Because that means this season he spent more time being afraid and less time being the cool dork I loved back in season one. Episode 6 was his best episode. He won because he tried and he showed off his love for LARPing. That’s the Damien I was waiting for. If anyone deserves a run back in another season, it’s Damien.

MK is the character this season that I can confidently say improved and ended on a high note. Last season I actually didn’t like her. She got away with badmouthing Nichelle in ep 3 and only got out in ep 6 because of toilet humor. As much as I like snarky characters like Noah, I also like when they get comeuppance for their snark. And MK didn’t get much of that. But in season 2? Oh this girl fucking SHINED WITH HER GLOWUP. She let bygones be bygones with Julia. They teamed up and became the best evil duo ever. The way they quip and scheme and enable each others’ horrible actions I ATE THAT UP. But let’s focus back on just MK. She was the one who took charge in the cheating schemes. And she finally got karma through the funniest beat down ever. A boxing bear that gave her drain bamage. And after that, she got more moments to shine on her own. She tried carrying her team in the baking challenge and failed. She struggled with the giant coin only to hit the ground running with her gamer moves. And her last hurrah was her hijacking a car and hugging her bestie (they’re more than besties your honor). As sad as I was that she didn’t get to the finale, I was happy with what I got. It’s not everyday a character I don’t like becomes one I adore.

Wayne and Raj I’m the most conflicted on. But I think the best way to describe them is with a comparison Bowie made: “like puppies: not the smartest, but adorable!” Negative out of the way first: they were not nearly as strategic as I hoped they’d be. First ep gave me hope when they were talking about their teammates’ stats/highlights from the challenge. And then you cut to their last elim together and they decided who to vote with a FUCKING COINFLIP. Boys. Please. You should know that keeping strong players in weakens your chance at the cup. Benching the MVPs of the opposition is the way to go. Not to mention the only time they won was because Julia had baking skills. I wanted Raj to win so bad. He was the smarter bro who had more of an impact on the cheating plot. But if he had to get booted for being the more threatening bro…somehow 5th is the worst placement. He could’ve lasted to the final four, make it seem like there’ll be a friendship finale, and then Julia ruins it with the immunity idol. He could’ve been 7th to give Wayne more time on his own. And Wayne on his own is…oh my god he’s so dumb. Raj needs to spell things out for him. He took so long to realize that Julia was using him. And he won with his dumb luck. I should be mad that he won when he didn’t do anything substantial for the plot, but…I can’t stay mad at these hockey puppies. They’re sweethearts. They believe in playing fair and friendship and gay love. They were the light at the end of the drama tunnel. And Raj’s elimination made me tear up. Both because I was sad his run was over and because I was happy he ended with the sweetest final words ever. And Wayne using the money to buy a bus for the Snow Owls? Hoot hoot!

And now for the big ones. The ones I had the most problems with. The ones I was the most disappointed in. Julia. Caleb. Priya. Oh my god what did they do to you three? The pieces were all there. You all were great at the start. Julia coming back and being the main villain all the way through? That could be neat. If anyone could do it I can see it being her. Probably gonna blow up in her face though. Wait she’s working with MK? Oh this’ll be fun. Caleb coming back and planning to get far by allying with season one’s winner? That’s gonna blow up in his face for sure isn’t it? Wait, he actually likes her? Aw that’s so sweet. Priya coming back to win because her parents still aren’t satisfied? She has to realize how horrible her parents are and have that be her main story right?? Holy shit they got worse with each episode. Their plot armor was more sturdy than the confessional. How the fuck did the other contestants let them GET SO FAR LIKE HELLO I thought for sure Julia was gonna take the fall and leave MK staggering. Julia lied several times and got away with it. And this was after she willingly told the opposing team that she got out their challenge beast with a fake contract. How did Axel and Damien and Zee trust her about the lie about Bowie masterminding the intern disguise cheating? How did Caleb and Priya just take her advice with love when she’s one of the most heartless contestants on the island? In fact, Julia getting MK out by making MK look worse for making up horrible things about her bestie? Honestly, you could’ve reversed the roles and it would’ve made sense. Julia lied so much that her finally losing to her lies about her closest ally would’ve been insanely bittersweet justice. I wanted to root for Julia. I love villains. I love manipulative villains who have little to no room in their heart for anything other than themselves. I love characters I love to hate. And yet somehow her immunity running last season seems less bullshit than all the lying and backstabbing she did this season. But this butchering is two-fold. I liked her when she was cheating and scheming with MK. I liked when she was doing good in challenges. What I didn’t like was when Caleb and Priya were there to let her get away with the shit she pulled in the second half of merge. Yknow. Caleb: the guy who wanted to redeem himself. And Priya: the girl who literally trained since she was born for this specific show. I swear, I want to like them as a couple. I genuinely think they were sweet and had chemistry at first. When they looked for the idol in ep 6, that opened my eyes. They had similar upbringings with demanding parents. They liked each other for each other. There was hope that they would end well. But AAAAGGH. THEY KEPT FUMBLING. AND ARGUING. AND BEING DOORMATS FOR JULIA TO STEP ON. AND COPING AND SEETHING. I couldn’t stand either of them anymore. They were the heroes and I was rooting for both their downfalls. Why did they have to be the puppets that Julia made dance ALL THE TIME as soon as they were the only couple left? Why did the show have to revolve around Prileb relationship drama? They could’ve swapped Priya and Damien’s placements. Have some Prileb drama and end it once they get better. Have Julia have an actual rival who can see through her. But noooooo. I’m supposed to be shocked or happy or feeling SOMETHING when Julia pulled out the idol and got out Priya and placed 4th. But I felt nothing. I saw it coming from a mile away ever since Damien didn’t get his marshmallow. I was too tired of Priya’s on again off again relationship with Caleb to even feel relief that she didn’t get to the finale again. Even in the finale as a helper, I couldn’t stand her. She wasn’t the spunky cheerleader she was for Millie. She was so pushy and driven by vengeance that she couldn’t even give Caleb any little victories in the race. How am I supposed to be happy that they stayed together in the end if it turned Priya into a worse version of herself?

So, what do I think of this season as a whole? I loved and hated it so much that it evens out to be a mid season. Which is a shame. The team phase gave me hope that this season would be the best. But with the constantly weird and bad directions the plot went, it’s hard for me to be satisfied with what we got as a whole…

…But to end on a good note, I think my dissatisfaction with this season stems from how amazing this reboot cast is. How much potential each of them have for funny jokes and serious character growth. How much I wanted each of them to develop and shine and mesh together. I guess that’s what making fan content is for, huh? If the show can’t give these characters the proper treatment they deserve, then we can draw and write and headcannon all we want. And that’s not to take away from the show. It’s to express how much we love it and want it to thrive.

Well, it was a bumpy road to get here. But I’m here. I love Total Drama. Flaws and all. And I can’t wait for this love to manifest into more art. So whoever you are reading this, thank you for putting up with this novel of a review <3

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outrunningthedark · 1 year

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I had a nonnie in my inbox who asked me to expand my thoughts on the sperm donor arc and when I tried to post I got an error, so here is the answer without exact context, ugh:

I'm glad you brought this up because it's giving me a chance to express my thoughts more...calmly, as opposed to the *screaming into the void* moment I had yesterday. I, personally, am not a fan of what the show has done to Buck's character since season four. To me, it feels like the intention was to go one way with his story (the therapy arc, maybe revisit things with the parents in s5 to officially move on to the next phase), but then...problems? unforeseen circumstances? changed it up. I mean...think about it. We get this "huge" Buck backstory, he realizes he needs to start learning about his past/accepting it, and then...two episodes later...here comes his former hookup who causes nothing but drama and she's not just a blip on the radar again. They're bringing her back to be part of the cast in s5. If you want my opinion (and this is not a slight on any actors because it is what it is), once it was realized that Jennifer was pregnant and she would have to be written out, and then the question turned to what to do with Chimney... Buck in healing mode didn't mesh with how the audience would expect him to react to Madney "leaving", so...why not let him self-destruct even more! The show abandoned the therapy arc. That's the part people are ignoring. That's the part that makes their arguments about "healing not being linear" irrelevant. There was no hint at healing beyond those two conversations (the end of 4x05 and beginning of 4x06). Shit happened and the show changed course. Very quickly. Skipping ahead to the sperm donor storyline...Well. I would argue that it narratively doesn't make *total* sense when we left off 5x18 with Buck finally doing something for himself by breaking up with TayKay. Maybe if it was TayKay who cut ties, we could more easily accept him still not being willing to listen to that voice inside that knows he's doing the wrong thing(s). Also, now that we know "radical acceptance" isn't supposed to be explained the way Buck explained it (they should have just stuck with "saying yes to possibilities")...I'm annoyed that his behavior is the antithesis of radical acceptance and looking at the show like "you just threw fancy words out there hoping people would call you genius, huh?" (Sad to say it worked.) It makes the fandom look dumb af, too, "He's saying yes without thinking! He's bound to backslide!" He's...he's not performing radical acceptance until he STOPS falling into old habits, actually. It's now a conversation that could have been avoided if they didn't use THAT exact term. 🤦‍♀️ (It's like someone decided they should use a word other than 'open-minded' or even 'automatic' and chose radical without considering it's a real phrase with a completely different connotation.) I'm not a fan of the sperm donor arc, I've made no secret of that. The timing of it (to me) seems like a way to appease the people who want to think of him as a father (because Chris isn't biologically his and therefore it doesn't count 🙃) since it's probably gonna be awhile until he has a bio kid of his own, if ever. But. I was trying to stay optimistic. "Well, surely, this is not gonna work out and he's gonna have a moment where he realizes his purpose is to build/be a family with Eddie and Chris." And by "not work out" I mean he gets rejected or the attempts aren't successful. *That* would have been my preferred scenario - he makes a rash decision, but backs out before it's too late because he's finally like "Wtf am I doing? This isn't gonna make me happy." *That* would have fit with him putting himself first. *That* would have been a way to expand on the growth we saw a glimpse of in 5x18. Now...there might be a baby? (Still allowing a 1% chance that it ends up being Connor's baby after all...) And as long as there's a baby, people aren't going to let it go. "Is Buck gonna have to save his bio kid when they get sick???" "Will Connor and Kameron die to bring up a new trauma for Buck???" "Are we gonna get Big Man, Tiny Baby because he gets to be a friend to the family???" And the thing is...I can't blame people for going there with it. As long as there is a (hypothetical) child in the story, the show could bring them up at any time. To some in the fandom, Buck should be capable of walking away peacefully from this situation he's found himself in, but the fandom is not in the writers' room. If the show doesn't have any "better" ideas, if the show needs easy drama...Buck's attitude could change on a dime. The saving grace is that this storyline is happening now when (I highly doubt) we'll get to a season where the child is old enough to want to get to know their dad. Because you know that would happen.

#praying the original ask doesn't pop up on my dash after this lol #tina speaks #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #evan buckley #buddie #(because they are mentioned briefly)

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paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 · 8 months

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The Starburst Duo in “Lava Bridges and You”

(In this mini adventure, our heroes Christopher Kent and Jake Grayson are sent back to the Middle Ages via Legion time bubble shenanigans and a nearby king promises them a magical portal back home if they perform one task, rescue a princess from a castle inside a volcano guarded by a fire breathing dragon)

Chris: (as he and Jake reach the top of the summit, getting a long good view of the castle and the lava surrounding it, only one wooden bridge being the way to cross) .. .. Sure, it’s big enough, but at look the location (He chuckles as he makes his way down, despite knowing the fact a place with heavy concentrations of lava and magma can dampen his powers akin to red sunlight)

Jake: (losing his confidence and following his friend): Hey, buddy. Remember not to long ago, you mentioned Kryptonians are like onions because of layers?

Chris: (approaching the bridge) How come, dude?

Jake: (Nervously passing by the skeleton of an unfortunate horse who attempted a rescue before) Well.. ..it’s just.. ..(gulping his throat) we Tamaraneans don’t have layers, see? We wear our emotions right on our sleeves.

Chris: Wait, you mean like sleeves you have on you or just because you have sleeves on your suit?

Jake: (Looking down at the lake below them) You know what I mean.

Chris: (chuckling upon realizing) Oh, you can’t tell me you’re scared of heights?

Jake: No, I’m just a little uncomfortable having my powers dampened too while being on an old rickety bridge (points his finger to what’s below said bridge) OVER A BOILING LAKE OF LAVA.

Chris: (on said bridge) C‘Mon man. I’m right here beside you. So, maybe if it helps, you and I can cross this thing together one baby step at time.

Jake: (nervously getting in front of Chris) Really?

Chris: (with a assuring smile) Really, Really.

(Jake takes deep breath as he takes some first steps)

Chris: (following right behind) Just keep moving and whatever you do, don’t look down.

Jake: (muttering to himself) Okay, don’t look down. Don’t look down. Keep moving and don’t look down.. ..

SNAP

(A plank from the bridge breaks under Jake’s foot, falling to the lava below, Jake in turn staring through the hole made)

Jake: (Eyes widening at the sight): Chris! I’m looking down!! (Yelps and almost immediately turns around) Umm.. .. how about you go ahead and I head back there to..um.. .. keep watch okay??

Chris: (eyebrow raised) But you’re already halfway

Jake: Yeah? Well I know THAT half is safe! (Tries to get around to rush back, causing Chris to shake the bridge back and forth with his arms. Jake screams in terror) DONT DO THAT!

Chris: Do what? (Then realizes) Oh, this? (Lightly rocks bridge on purpose)

Jake: (sweating bullets) Yeah, That!!

Chris: (getting a small mischievous grin on his face) ‘Yeah, do that’. (Happily) Okay!

Jake: (covering his eyes and walking fast backwards as the rocking starts up) AH! NO, CHRIS!!

Chris: (as he moves forward and lightly rocks the bridge along the way) You said do it! I’m doing it!

Jake: (not realizing he made it to the other side safely and still covering his eyes) Good grief, I’m doomed! Let me know when it’s over and.. ..(finally peaks, realizing he made it) Oh!

Chris: (Making it across and meeting up with Jake, patting him on the shoulder with a big smile) See? No problem.

Jake: (looking back at the bridge one more time before catching up with his best friend) Cool.

(The Duo begin their entrance into the castle)

Jake: so where is this fire breathing pain in the neck, anyway?

Chris: Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her (Has a good laugh)

Jake: (😑).. .. I was talking about the dragon, Chris.

#chris kent #jake grayson #starburst duo #source: shrek #sfw

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destinygoldenstar · 2 years

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Total Drama World Tour My Way

Don't get me wrong, I actually really like World Tour, but I said this before, I have some issues with the season's elimination order. Mainly those problems stem from Team Victory losing all the time, defeating the purpose of three teams.

So this is just a my way on how I personally would have had the elimination order be.

Now, while I am not adding any cast members, or removing any, I AM gonna CHANGE who's on which team. My reason for this is so that we don't have to favor Team Amazon since they have the most plot relevant characters, and for that reason as well, we also don't have to trash on the other two teams as much

So with that said...

I'm changing to...

Uh...

So this doesn't sound like a big grandeos change, but it could definitely make all the difference

So first elimination in canon is with Duncan quitting.

Will I keep that the same?

I'm gonna say yes

Like, we don't need Duncan having a lion share of screen time like he always seems to, so this was actually kind of a decent call. It's a flawed call, from what happens later, but... you know what I mean

Same goes for Ezekiel...

Like... what are you going to change there?

You could make a fic where he makes it far and even wins, but for a CANON scenario? Eh?

(Sorry Zeke stans)

So Episode 3,

In canon, Harold quit, and DJ would have been voted off...

I'm actually going to have DJ go out like he should have

The animal curse thing is just not funny and I don't think even goes anywhere.

So if we want to save DJ's character from suffering, get him out of the game as soon as we can

Episode 4,

I'm actually gonna keep Bridgette's elimination

Would she still try to kiss Al? Probably not.

Like, I think Duncan is the ONLY character who gets called out for cheating. Meanwhile everyone else who does it seem to get a pass.

Like, Courtney, Beth, Bridgette, Trent (okay that one was a trick to be fair)? "Nah, that's fine"

Episode 5, non elimination

Episode 7...

That's a tough one

I feel like since they're on the same team here, Leshawna and Heather would be in a conflict about Alejandro and who to believe.

So it's 50/50 whether or not Leshawna would still slap Heather

Regardless, would we still have her be eliminated?

I'm actually gonna have Team Chris lose this

And Lindsay gets the boot

The reason for this is because this is also the episode where she remembers Tyler... and after that, her plotline is basically done

Plus, I think Alejandro would just HATE her as a teammate, so he'd probably cause the loss, but throw Lindsay under the bus

Noah would probably vote off Lindsay for that, since he's, you know, very proud of the brains department

Episode 8...

I'm gonna do something

This is gonna be framed like an elimination round...

BUT, the person that gets voted off, will actually SWITCH TEAMS

So I'm gonna say Team Amazon loses, they vote off... I'm gonna say Cody, for the medicine incident going out of hand

So he moves to Team Victory

Sierra... not happy

Episode 9

Every team's evened out with 4 people

Now who loses this?

I'm gonna say Team Victory loses

And they vote off Harold here

Why this?

Well now he had six extra episodes to develop this 'egotistical mindset going out of hand', for him. By that point, while I think he'd feel guilty over DJ and Bridgette's boot, I think this is where'd he be called out further by Leshawna and especially Heather for his leadership attempts failing. Cody would be on their team now, he'd be occupied with Sierra being mad at him for voting her and all of that, plus they're not on the same team anymore. So I think THIS is where Harold would vote for himself over voting Cody, ultimately preventing a tie so that he'd take responsibility for pretending he had certain mad skills he didn't have. Or using them for selfish reasons, I guess that's better.

Plus now, we get him and Heather's friendship, and his and Leshawna's relationship a bit, which I actually like those

Episode 10, non elimination

Episode 11,

You know what this is, Izzy gets Brainvilla'd and she gets taken away by the military, sad sad :(

And then I'm actually gonna eliminate Leshawna here.

Reason?

It's similar to DJ's situation, except she would eventually see through Alejandro, only too late, leaving Heather ticked. Cause they're still friends here, Leshawna and Heather be working together here. By the way, what I mean is not 'she has the animal curse instead of DJ' I mean her story would relatively continue from Action, with her recognizing she has no desire to win over people close to her. At least that's how I read it. So instead she'd more so focus on being the heart of her team. Harold being gone, Alejandro being a bro to her, not necessarily a romantic interest, and then that gets shattered over... some false idea on what her victory is Alejandro drilled in her head.

Episode 13

First off, Duncan comes back. Boo hoo, I know

He's actually joining Team Victory here

And then I'm gonna eliminate Tyler from Team Amazon

Ultimately, Team Amazon capturing Duncan or whatever doesn't save them. It really shouldn't have.

And why Tyler? Because Courtney and Gwen are on good terms, (for now) and Alejandro convinced Courtney or someone here that Tyler was behind something when he wasn't

I would note though that despite this, we could give Tyler some individual characterization, not just be Lindsay's love interest. I can see him forming some other friendships here. Even in canon, he was just kind of a plot device until he got eliminated

Episode 14, this straight up won't be an elimination. Just no bias here from Chris, just it was planned from the start

Note though that instead of Tyler catching Duncan and Gwen kissing, it's Noah. BUT, he keeps it to himself for now, because unlike Tyler, Noah isn't so gullible.

Episode 15,

Who do I eliminate here?

There's no Tyler to boot now...

So one of these love triangle birds is gonna get it

If Victory loses, Duncan goes, because Heather and Cody are on good terms

If Chris loses, I would probably boot Owen, but then I'd have to keep the love triangle longer. I don't want to do that, because a lot of you will hate me if I do.

So I'm not gonna do that, Team Chris wins it.

Team Amazon...

In this universe, Courtney doesn't know about the kiss yet.

This episode, she gets that info from Noah, who is a secondary antag in this, collabing with Alejandro. She confronts Duncan about it in disbelief, she finds out it's true, she does the violent actions she does, and she lashes out at Gwen and throw the challenge.

In MY WAY, Courtney would actually get consequences for acting like some brutal assassin, and get voted off for it.

I mean... come on. Courtney is the LAST person I expect to fall for Al, let alone as long as she did, and second, I PERSONALLY didn't like that Courtney got away with her behavior, and deemed as a victim. Yes, she's a victim, but she went at it in such a negative way that ultimately, should NOT be rewarded in the end. She wanted to kill Gwen, she did so. She won.

I... NO ONE should win in that scenario.

Feel free to disagree with me, but this plotline makes EVERYONE disagree with each other, let's be real.

Episode 16

I'm gonna say it, Duncan's outta here

He ALSO gets comeuppance for what he did.

Like, I'm gonna be real, I sympathize with him more than Courtney. I always have for some reason, in EVERY plotline these two have, NOT just this one. BUT I do acknowledge that Duncan is in the wrong, and needs to get consequences for it.

Plus... why must Duncan need the lionshare of development again?

Give other people a chance

With that, we have the MERGE

Now, for the gag and the gag alone, I'm gonna have Izzy be the one who returns

I mean, come on, make it a tradition.

Plus Izzy as a bride, that'd just be funny

ANYTHING is better than Blaineley

Owen gets booted the same way, there's no real reason to keep him around any longer

Episode 20,

This is a double elimination

I'm gonna boot both Izzy and Gwen

Reason for Izzy? Alejandro saw her as a threat, so HE sabotaged her into cheating accidentally, Izzy not doing it on her free will. (I mean, EVERYONE says Izzy'd beat Alejandro in Squid Game)

Reason for Gwen? Heather spites her, everyone deems her the 'new heather' or whatever. Alejandro takes advantage of that to pretend to sympathize with her, as Gwen knows she messed up. Though Gwen'd probably get on Cody's good side, and maybe Noah's, it'd still end up being a tie with Gwen and Izzy, and they both get the boot.

Some people say that Gwen would have been better written if she was evil. Like she purposefully kissed Duncan to spite Courtney, and was a completely heartless villain...

I disagree.

I actually think that would have been worse

Episode 21,

Like I said earlier, Alejandro and Noah are in a scheming alliance, but Noah is the lesser evil here and begins to sympathize with people like Cody, Heather, Gwen, and so he reveals (probably in some confessionals) that he's planning a sneak attack to turn on Alejandro and get him voted off...

But that backfires on him, and he gets eliminated.

Then the final four, it's all exactly the same

I don't want to change this at all, Sierra gets 4th, Cody gets 3rd, Alejandro and Heather are the finalist

HEATHER WINS

I wouldn't change this at all

Now, would I change Sierra's writing and have her simping over Cody less frequent and creepy, and have it be called out more? YES.

But other than that, yeah I like this final four

And there you have it, Total Drama World Tour MY WAY

What's your way? Let me know what you think, and what you disagree with

#Total Drama #My way #Td Heather #Td Alejandro #Td Sierra #Td Cody #Td Owen #Td Izzy #Td Gwen #Td Noah #Td Duncan #Td Tyler #td Courtney #Td Lindsay #Td Leshawna #Td Harold #Td Ezekiel #Td DJ #Td Bridgette

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triviallytrue · 2 years

Text

Tagged in a thing by @kwarrtz

Last...

Beverage: Tea

Phone call: Calling family members post graduation

Text message: Making plans to walk with one of my friends

Song you listened to: Glory and Gore, Lorde

Have you ever...

Dated someone twice: No

Kissed someone and regretted it: No

Lost someone special: Yes

Been depressed: Not clinically

Been drunk and threw up: No, even small amounts of alcohol give me headaches, so I don't drink much.

Last year, have you...

Made a new friend: Yes

Fallen out of love: It's complicated

Laughed until you cried: Might've been more than a year

Found out who your true friends are: Weird question

Found out someone was talking about you: Not... really?

General

How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life?: I never made a facebook and never will.

List 3 favorite colors: Blue, purple, yellow.

Firsts

First surgery: N/A

First piercing: N/A

First best friend: Kid named Chris I met when I was 5. I had friends before that but they weren't best friends.

First sport you joined: Soccer.

First vacation: No idea

First pair of trainers: ???

Right now

Eating: A quiche

Drinking: Water

I’m about to: Go walk with a friend.

Your future

Want kids: Yeah

Get married: Sure

Career: Software dev

Which is better

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Hugs or kisses: Hugs

Shorter or taller: Don't care

Older or younger: Don't care

Romantic or spontaneous: This doesn't seem like a dichotomy.

Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms, for sure.

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hook-up or relationship: Right now? Hook-up.

Trouble maker or hesitant: Cause problems on purpose.

Have you ever...

Kissed a stranger: No

Drank hard liquor: Yes

Lost glasses/contacts: Briefly

Sex on first date: Yes

Broke someone’s heart: ...probably

Been arrested: No

Turned someone down: Not overtly. I've sent plausibly-deniable "not interested" signals to someone sending me plausibly deniable "flirt" signals.

Cried when someone died: Yes

Do you believe in...

Yourself: Absolutely.

Miracles: No

Love at first sight: It's complicated

Heaven: No

Santa Claus: lol

Kiss on the first date: Wholly dependent on the person

Angels: No

I hate tagging people in this kind of thing. If you want to do it, do it.

#ask game

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littlemissidontcare · 2 years

Note

Im saying this just to get it off my chest because no one ever understands when I talk about, i consume content and work of Sebastian and Chris Evans for entertainment purposes like most fans but I’m always reminded that in real life I’m a girl that they would never choose or pay attention to or any guy that resembles their qualities because men like that have been cruel to me, and please understand that is my problem and I’m not putting blame on anyone for that and that doesn’t excuse any poor behavior, but I know it get me riled up and emotional, but never to the point of going out of my way to hurt them or the people in their lives, it’s my own issues I’ll always have to deal with and I can pull myself back, but if there are some fans dealing with things on the same emotional level, it might cause them to act out. That’s not excuse for invading privacy and just being been, just offering a potential explanation

0 notes

mina-van1104 · 2 years

Text

Read all or don’t read at all because you won’t understand. So people who know me well know if you hangout with me, I always take pictures no matter who you are.

So there was a guy that said he wanted to hangout so I was like sure so we hungout a few days ago (& just because I take pictures of you, doesn’t mean I’ll post it-the pictures are just for MY memories).

What’s very insulting & really offensive to me was when he said he doesn’t want to take pictures. I’ve been with actual good looking guys before & they were super sweet to me and they were not fake like he was.

Excuse me, if you don’t want to take pictures, DON’T HANGOUT WITH ME because I always take photos no matter who you are doesn’t mean I’m going to post any of it.

If you don’t want to take pictures with me, you’re not cool enough to hangout with me!

How dare you? Do you think you’re more superior than me when you’re not! The guy I met, worked at one of the workplaces/hospitals I used to work at. He’s one of the security guards.

I literally almost say “hi” to everyone (even if I don’t know you) at work & said “Hi” to him several times before but he added me on Social media last week & we talked & Snapchatted.

So he wanted to hangout & I didn’t feel like hanging out because my cat died a few days ago & was crying everyday but I said sure we can hangout. I was in a sad mood & wasn’t feeling myself. Maybe also misinterpreted me but anyways I have no bad intentions apparently he probably thinks I might do something to those photos which would be stupid.

He’s not even originally from Nevada! SOME people (not all of them) who are from out of state, you people are seriously a problem in Nevada! Go back to California Chris Martin! You’re so fake! Hurt my feelings & wasted my time then deleted me on social media & Snapchat. Stay in Carson City & don’t come to Reno anymore!

Little did you know I already have ENOUGH friends in REAL life but would be friends with anyone because I’m really friendly to anyone & I have a purpose in life! I just wanted to be friends. I didn’t want to date him! He probably thought I wanted to date him. At least I’m not fake! If he didn’t offend me I would not mention anything bad about him, but too late, he pissed me off big time.

He also already has a cute baby daughter so who would want to date that fake guy who already has a daughter grrrr! He also called me “fat” I heard him, grrrr! He’s not the genuine guy I thought he was.

Never be fooled by a cute guy. I’ve dated physically really good looking guys before at least they were sweet & not fake. He’s super tall, white, & good looking but don’t be fooled by how he looks because he’s fake. Thought he was genuine boy was I wrong.

He reminded me of 2 of my exes who were super tall white & one of them was veteran, at least they were not fake & still sweet people. He was not worth my time obviously. I’ve already ranted that to a few close friends. He’s so pathetic. We talked everyday for like a week so that made me kind of happy until we hungout & he deleted me on Snapchat & Social Media. That’s his loss.

We could’ve stayed just friends but he pissed me off & now I want to rant how dumb he is. If none of that happened & he was an actual good person I would not write about this. If anyone wants to hangout, we obviously will take pictures no matter who you are, if you don’t want to, don’t hangout with me! Life is too short!

Don’t ruin happiness. I don’t want to waste my time with the wrong people. A lot of out of staters who moved to Nevada have literally caused a lot of problems so if you’re from out of state, always be nice to everyone because I’m the one who’s originally from Nevada so respect me as a person or get out of my state!👊🏼

The good thing (before me & that guy hungout) at the mall a different guy at the mall called me cute. Made my day. Then on Sunday a different guy around my age in my neighborhood when I was walking with my dogs a cute guy said to me “You look so adorable.” I said “thanks” & it made my day. 😊 God’s giving me signs & hoping for the better in the future.

# Selfie # Nurse # Coach# Healthcare # JesusChrist ✞♡ ✝️ # ProChoice (though) # Running 🏃🏻‍♀️ # PositiveVibes # LoveDrivesOutFear # NevadaBornAndRaised # NevadaNative # athletic 🐾🏃🏻‍♀️💪🏼# RenoNevadaBornSparksRaised # HomeMeansNevada # Nevada # UNRnevadaAlumnaMay2016🎓 🐾 # PostUniversityGraduate 🎓 # Overachiever # WolfPackAlumna 🐾 # BachelorsHealthSciences # PublicHealth 🐺 # 2CollegeDegrees # 2ExtraMedicalLicenses # AlreadyAllAchieved # TrueAccomplishments # integrity # RenoBornSparksNative 🐾🐶 🤙🏼 ✨🌻

•2019:Older sister Catherine Van&Adam Schwartz’s Wedding&their website on: https://www.theknot.com/us/catherine-van-and-adam-schwartz-aug-2019•Reminiscing more than 200 people came.

0 notes

ramp-it-up · 3 years

Text

The One

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warmings: 18+, Minors DNI. Curate your own experience. Cursing, drinking, running, a raging argument in an established relationship, name calling, taunting, drunken raging, Twitter. SMUT, explicit, rough sex, fingering, tit slapping, orgasm denial, spitting, oral sex (mostly female receiving). Also, I’m sleepy. 😴

A/N: Not proofread. Also, I know very little about Chris and Jenny, and have no real opinion about their relationship. I made up the scenario about what happened there for the purposes of the story. THANKS FOR 400 FOLLOWERS TONIGHT! 🥳🎉🎊🍾👏🏽🎈

This fic is based on the following ask:

Anonymous asked:

Imagine idea :

Chris is drunk after a fight with the reader. He was On Twitter and saw some pics with Jenny and when the reader comes in he screams at her and says that Jenny was the one and not the reader. The reader get sad because she was always kind of insecure about the age gap with Chris. The day after he didn’t know what he says and she don’t say anything because she got the feeling that he was right. But one thing both didn’t noticed that Chris was drunk calling Scott and he knows everything Chris says and drive to Chris to give him a good clamp ahahhaha Chris was drunk and Just mentioned her name because he saw a post with Jenny.

------------------

It had been the perfect day.

You slept in, then had a late brunch at home.

You saw a message from Chris’ former co-star, Heidi, light up his phone that he’d plugged in on the kitchen counter when you two were tidying up.

You wondered why he was texting the bitch even after you told him that she wanted him. And after he agreed to cut off contact out of respect for you.

Heated, you didn’t even look around before you picked it up, put in his code and read a string of friendly, if not borderline flirty, texts.

Chris walked in the kitchen, caught you, and yelled at you for being in his phone.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Exactly! What is going on, Chris. I thought we talked about this?”

Chris rolled his eyes. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Oh, it’s a big fucking deal.”

You threw his phone on the marble countertop, which caused Chris to pick it up to see if it was cracked. Your temper was too much.

“We’re just friends! She knows we’re together, y/n!”

You rolled your eyes.

“And I know women, Chris. That doesn’t fucking matter to her. Sometimes you’re so oblivious. Or act like you are.” You huffed and rolled your eyes.

“I know you want to leave me for someone more glamorous and beautiful. Someone who will put up with your shit, everyone the media says you’re fucking. Go ahead and just do it!”

Chris’s temper was really rising now. You could tell as the red creeped up his chest to his neck.

“Stop fucking saying that!” Chris was screaming now. “Is that what you want? To end it? Because you don’t have to make me do it. If you want to leave, just leave.”

You said shit like that a lot. And it scared and angered him. He wanted to know if you were trying to make him break up with you so you would be free.

“Why are you being such a fucking…” Chris stopped himself. He knew better than to call you out of your name.

Your head almost spun around. You smiled evilly.

“Go ahead, say what you wanna say, Chris. Or are you scared?”

Chris exploded. “A fucking BITCH.” He was shaking because you went there.

“How many times do I have to tell you, I’m not fucking anyone else!”

Chris lost it and punched the wall, making a hole in the drywall and definitely injuring his hand.

You just stood there with your mouth open and in silence. You went toward him to look at his hand, and he just put both of them up, backing away from you and going to the liquor cabinet.

He retreated to the deck with a bottle of Jameson’s. He wanted to dull the pain, in his hand, and in his heart. He hated when you hurt each other.

You understood that you both crossed the line, so you let him be. You went upstairs to change into your running clothes to get out and clear your head.

Chris settled on a deck lounger, started drinking from the bottle and got online, which is never a good thing, but he needed something to distract him. He started reading tweets about himself, and following a thread of Chris + Jenny stans.

The more he drank, the more he started reminiscing.

There were good times. He was happy. Mostly. He thought she was the one. Sometimes. But she broke his heart. He was just a rebound.

Her handsome arm candy.

Then he thought of you. His heart melted; you really loved him. He was sure of it. But loving him was hard. He realized that you felt the same way about him that he felt about Jenny. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Insecure.

And you had good reason to be. Everything you’d said about women coming after him was true. But what you didn’t realize is that since he’d met you other women didn’t matter to him.

You were the one, not Jenny.

Chris began to get melancholy. He’d fucked up. You were nothing but good to him and you just asked him to respect you and listen to your feelings. He’d ignored that.

Shit, why did he yell at you like that?

He went to erase Heidi’s contact and block her number. He was confident that you were never going to throw him away like Jenny did. She was the one who’d hurt him. Not you. Never you. He recognized that you wouldn’t ever hurt him on purpose.

His mind was racing with how to apologize when you came back. He was an idiot. The pain in his heart was replaced with regret and his hand had slowed to a dull throb.

But then 30 minutes turned to 3 hours, and by the time you got back, the bottle was empty and Chris’s eyes were red with rage and worry.

Maybe you were just like Jenny after all.

--------

You ran, and then went to get some coffee. You ran into Shelby at the cafe and distracted yourself with mindless chatter, then walked back. You were ready to apologize by the time you opened the door.

When he heard the door, Chris picked up his phone and met you in the living room. He was obviously shitfaced.

“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!?”

Chris’s voice boomed throughout the house and you jumped. Then you just stood there, shocked at his outburst.

“The hell are you talking to me like that?”

He was unsteady on his feet. He leaned toward you, and you could tell that someone was spinning the room for him.

“I don’t want it to be you!”

He had to let you know that he knew that you wouldn’t be the one to hurt him. Chris pointed his phone at you.

“You’re not the one. Jenny’s the only one. Not you! Not ever you!”

You couldn’t believe your ears. But then again you could. It was what you were afraid of. You were head over heels. And Chris could find someone on his level. Like Jenny.

“Well, Fuck You very much, Chris.”

You brushed your tears away and ran past him up the stairs to the bedroom, locking the door and crying your eyes out. You got out your suitcase.

----

Chris started up after you, calling your name, and then suddenly needed to duck in the downstairs bathroom to throw up.

He tried to make it up the stairs and had to sit down on the floor near the bottom. Then, he needed to lay down just for a minute.

The next thing Chris knew, it was morning, and he woke up to a pounding on the door and in his head. He rolled over on the floor, and something stabbed him in the side.

Groaning, he reached down and saw your keys to his house, his cars, and his life, all on the Tiffany heart keychain he’d given them to you. He was staring at them, confused, when Scott opened the door with his key.

“There he is. My brother. The fuck up.”

Chris groaned again, sat up on the bottom stair and held his head.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Nevermind me. It’s not often I get to say that, only when you publish your dick pic to the internet or you RUN OFF THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU!”

Chris winced when Scott yelled, his head a pounding mass of meat wrapped in fuzzy cotton.

He didn’t understand why he was being tortured and he didn’t understand why his hand hurt. He looked at it, all bruised up, and the keys inside it.

“Just tell me, Scott. Why are you here?”

Scott leaned up against the door.

“Did you know you drunk dialed me last night?”

Chris looked up at Scott, and his face was a sight as his brother told him what he’d said to you.

“Fuuuuuck me!” He put his head in his hands again.

“I don’t know if she ever will again,” Scott joked, but Chris didn’t laugh.

“I called her after you apparently passed out and wouldn't pick up your phone. She was ready to catch an early morning flight, but I convinced her to sleep in today and leave tomorrow.”

Chris moved his hands down from his eyes and stared out the patio doors, trying to think.

“I put her up in the Four Seasons, on your dime of course. Room 6145. Penthouse. Could be pretty romantic. If she were in that kind of mood.”

Chris looked up at Scott, smiled weakly, jumped up and hugged him, then made for the door. Scott jumped in front of him.

“Trust me, you’ll want to get some water and coffee in you, and shower and brush your teeth. You look and smell like shit.”

“Right.” Chris nodded, flexing his hand. He could still move it. He was glad it wasn’t broken. “Thanks, bro.”

“No problem.” Scott walked into the bathroom as Chris went to the kitchen, groaning when he saw the hole in the wall. He’d have to ask Scott to get it fixed before you saw it again.

If he could convince you to come back.

----

It was 11 am, and Scott had verified that you were still in the room. Chris just stood there, nervous and terrified that you were just going to be done with him.

Room service came and headed toward your door. Chris waved them down and when they saw his face, they stopped in their tracks, shocked.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?”

----

You climbed out of the wonderful deep jetted tub, having soaked until the water got cold and your fingers were wrinkled. You pulled on the plush Four Seasons terry cloth robe that was provided with the suite.

You felt calmer than last night, and after some sleep and relaxation, you realized that you’d been a fool to think that Chris would want you forever like you thought.

It was for the best that you leave and start over, to focus on your consulting business and yourself for a while.

You opened the door with a smile on your face for the attendant, and you let them into the room, your back turned to the door while they brought the cart in. You turned back around and there was Chris.

You grew heated, and your heart began to race while the attendant scurried out. Chris’s face was a welcome sight, but you were still angry.

There you were, looking so beautiful, curls tied up in your favorite silk scarf, cocoa skin radiant in a white fluffy robe. You should have been comfortable, but your eyes were wide and scared.

He’d done this to you.

“Fuck, y/n… I…”

You interrupted him.

“You’ve got some mutha fuckin nerve. How dare you just run up in here, using that fucking face,” you flung your hand up, “using who you are to get into my room. How did you even know where…?”

Your mouth dropped open at the realization of what Scott had done. You turned on your heel to get your things. You didn’t care that you were naked under your robe. You didn’t care that you still loved Chris. You were out. This second.

Chris moved to block you from entering the bedroom of the suite. You tried to push past him, all 5’ 4” of you versus 6 feet of him.

“Move, Chris!”

You glared up at him, your body responding to him in ways you weren’t prepared to admit. You were betrayed by your pussy.

“I just want you to listen to me. Then you can leave, stay, do whatever you want. Just hear me out.”

You and him physically was always the shit. His arms across his chest did things to you But you kept mean mugging him, making him hard for you.

You stepped back and said, “Okay. You have 10 minutes. Then I’m out, Chris.”

You paced back to the couch in the living room of the suite, watching him warily.

Chris paced in front of you, making it inevitable that you follow his lean form back and forth across the carpet. You noticed that his hand was bandaged and that he kept flexing it.

You hoped it wasn’t broken. No matter what, you cared what happened to him. You would always love him. Even if it was the end of your relationship.

“First of all, I’m sorry. My anger got the best of me, and I was violent and that is never acceptable. Even though I didn’t touch you, it’s not ok, and I know it was intimidating. I take responsibility.”

He stopped and looked at you, you melted a little, but you didn’t give any outward sign. Being a business owner taught you a mean poker face.

But the shirt he was wearing made his true blue eyes pop and you could see a hint of his chain around his neck under the fitted henley.

You suppressed a shiver at the memory of the things you did to have that chain and medallion wave in your face, to have it clenched between your teeth as Chris had his way with you, and you with him.

You focused on him, pointedly looking at your watch. Chris’ anxiety peaked when he saw that.

He stepped toward you and thought that he recognized the look in your eyes. He was almost sure that you still wanted him, sure that you still cared. He could only hope as he came closer.

“And then I started drinking. And while you were gone, I came across some posts about me and Jenny. And it took me back there.”

At those words, you crossed your arms and averted your eyes, defenses up. You didn’t want to hear about how much he loved Jenny.

Then, Chris swiftly moved to sit on his haunches, becoming eye level with you.

“And I realized that she never really loved me. Not like you loved me.”

Chris speaking about your love in the past tense made you a little angry and you stared him in the eyes.

It was just the reaction he hoped for. Your attitude. He loved it. He hid a smirk so that he could continue, but you saw the glimmer in his eyes. And you rolled yours.

Chris then picked up the sash to your robe and started playing with it, your eyes drawn to his thick fingers. You didn’t know why that was getting you hot, but it was. You opened your mouth to breathe.

Chris’s voice cracked when he said. “And to me she was the mountaintop. Another, different kind of conquest. But I realized that I never really loved her. Not like I love you.”

Present tense.

Now you were looking into his eyes, about to fall into them. Shit. He had you hooked. But then you remembered, and drew back.

“Yeah, I know what I said, but what I was trying to express was that I know it could never be you to hurt me like Jenny did. That I didn’t want you to hurt me like she did. Not when I’ve thought about forever…”

He moved even closer. “I mean forever, forever, with you.”

All of a sudden you couldn’t breathe. Chris got on his knees.

“I want to be in this position again with you one day. One day soon. But not like this. I don’t want it to be to try to get you back. I want us to be good.”

He sighed, pensive. “I want you to be smiling and happy, and even have our families there.”

You don’t know how your face looked at that moment, but Chris started smiling at you. You were so beautiful to him right now.

“I was drunk, and I couldn’t use my words correctly. I yelled and I screamed and I punched the wall. I fucked up and may have lost you forever, but I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.”

You felt yourself get emotional, but you tried to calm down.

“I’m just so fucking scared that you will get tired of all the bullshit that comes with me and leave… and I absolutely wouldn’t blame you. But there’s no one else, y/n. No one else can compare…”

“Chris…”

You raised your hand to his face, eyes searching his. You could tell he was being honest.

Chris grabbed your hand and started kissing your palm.

“So.” He looked at you with those eyes. “Is this goodbye?…” His lips were giving you shivers. “Or hello again? Can we start over?”

Chris trailed his lips from your palm, to the pulse point at your wrists and lingered there, licking the delicate skin. Then he moved up your arm to the opening in the robe.

He pushed his torso in between your legs and leaned into your neck, inhaling the lavender bath oil that was your favorite. And his, too.

He moaned as you leaned your head to the side, giving him access. But he didn't just want the physical. He breathed into the shell of your ear.

“Please come home, baby…”

You just moaned as he started sucking right below your ear, your spot. Desire took over for Chris when he heard your sounds.

“Fuck it. I can tell that you still want me. If this is goodbye, then I’m going to make it worth your time.”

Your back arched and Chris palmed your bounteous ass over the robe, pulling you flush to his crotch. He smiled as he felt the warmth coming from you.

“You’re so fucking warm, babe. Are you wet, too? Are you wet for me? Do you want my cock? I mean, do you want your thick, fat, cock to fuck you babe?”

Chris was kissing down your neck into the cleavage that the robe was revealing with each sentence as you opened your legs. Your pussy was quivering for him, but you still didn’t answer him.

Chris looked up at you with those eyes and pulled on the robe sash. It fell open and he looked down and bit his lip, taking in your warm skin, lovely breasts, and elegant pussy, with the manicured triangle of hair kept like he preferred, and offered up for his taking.

You still looked like his girl, and he smiled as he looked up into your eyes. But he had to be certain. He lowered his head, keeping eye contact and descended toward one small hard mountain peak, kissing it gently, tentatively, while watching you.

You were mesmerized as his tongue peeked out and licked it, then he opened his lips and enveloped it, moistening it with his pink lips.

The look on your face compelled him, and he fully enveloped your nipple and started sucking roughly, still keeping eye contact. You were determined not to close your eyes, but it was difficult. You bit your lip to stay still.

Chris’s bandaged hand was dangerous, however, and it came up to pinch and roll your other nipple. You arched into his hand as he became rougher and rougher.

He switched nipples and hands and his saliva made your breast that much more pliable and sensitive. He slapped it, and then rubbed it with the rough bandage, making you cry out and moan as his other hand trailed down your body to your cunt.

“This pussy will still be mine, even if you leave me.” He smiled cockily while looking down on it.

He looked at you, before lifting his hand to his mouth, looking straight into your eyes and spitting on his fingers before bringing them down to your cunt.

“I think, that if even if you leave and move back to Houston, and I come to town, that if I I call you, even if you’re with someone else, you would meet me in a parking lot and let me fuck you over the hood of my rental car.”

He was faintly tracing your pussy lips and instantly your control was gone. You were sopping wet, because of his words and because of the knowledge that what he was saying was the truth.

“Oh,” was all you could say. You were adding to the wetness of the saliva on his fingers.

Chris smiled and tilted his head as his two thick digits breached your opening. He had his answer as you threw your head back and let him finger fuck you while he rolled and slapped and pinched your nipple.

His thumb was lightly brushing your clit and you wanted so much more. Chris could sense that and he pressed down roughly on it, causing an electric jolt up your body, which you keened for, arching your body into his hand.

Chris moved his hand from your breast to your neck and applied the pressure that you wanted and needed and that he was expert at while he stuffed another finger inside you and circled your clit with his thumb.

You floated among the clouds as you came like fireworks, and all over his hand.

He watched you come undone, and come down, rubbing his hard cock through his pants with one hand while he sucked your juices off his fingers, releasing each with a loud pop. When you opened your eyes, you smiled.

You pulled his hand and started licking yourself off him, flattening your tongue against his palm.

“I forgive you Chris. I forgave you when you conned your way into my room, you ass.”

You smiled against his hand as he groaned, relieved and desperate for you.

“But you still have some work to do.”

“What do you want? Anything.”

Now Chris was breathless, anticipating payback.

“First, you need to take those damn clothes off.”

He quickly moved to take off his shirt, and then stood up to take off his pants. You smirked as hs cock sprang up immediately when he peeled them down. He wasn’t wearing underwear.

Chris caught your look.

“What? I wanted to be prepared.” He chuckled softly while pumping his cock lightly, expecting to immediately fuck you.

He moved toward you. But you quickly moved off the couch and into the bedroom, forcing him to follow you, and his dick, into the other room.

You sat on the edge of the bed as he remained standing.

“What do you need, babe?”

You reached for his cock and tugged it toward you, opening your mouth and deep throating it, wetting it from root to tip and then spit on it. Chris moaned as you started to stroke. Then you stopped.

“I need you to jack off for me.”

“Ugh! You’re so fucking nasty. I love you.”

Chris instantly started where you left off. This didn’t seem like work.

You leaned back on your elbows, watching him, and licking your lips.

“And I need for you not to stop, and not to come. Until I tell you.”

You looked him in the eye and that was when Chris knew he was doomed. A chill ran down his spine as you reached down and started playing with your pussy.

“Fuck!”

You looked so damn good. He licked his lips and stroked harder and faster, his balls drawing up already.

“Shit, y/n.”

You watched his eyes, and got wetter at his blown pupils and glazed look.

“You like that?”

“Fuck yeah.”

His voice was broken and desperate. He fisted his cock, and held his balls, trying to stave off the inevitable.

You turned around, got on your knees and reached back between your legs and ran your fingers up and down your slit.

“How about that?”

“Goddamnit!”

Chris grunted as he tried to hold it in. You were a goddess. He licked his lips. Wanting to taste you. So he did.

He dove in, tongue competing with your fingers to command your slit. You finally gave in to his expert mouth and he savored your salty goodness.

“Fuck, Chris, you better still be…”

“I am. Christ.”

He was leaking in his hand, but he had it under control. Barely.

Chris stopped eating you out for a second, grabbed your ass cheek with one hand, stretched you open, spit on your tighter hole, and watched it slide down your satin lips to drip onto the bed.

His warm saliva made your pussy quiver and he watched it lovingly. Then he dove in again.

He sped up his movements with his other hand and you could hear the smooth skin of his dick sliding on his palm while his tongue did forbidden things to you.

“Ffffffuuckkkkkkk! Chrisssss.”

You came, burying your scream in the mattress, and even harder than before. You couldn’t believe that he’d turned the tables on you.

Chris ate you out through your orgasm, holding you down with one hand like it was nothing.

He was god of war, love, and sex, all at once.

Fuck Captain America.

You came again, almost immediately.

When he was done with his meal, he let you go, wiped his mouth with the back of his free hand and stepped back.

“Fuck, what do you want me to do? I can’t take it much longer…” Chris’s sexy growling voice got to you.

“What do you wanna do, Chris? How do you want to take me, Daddy?” Chris’s cock jumped in his hand, he slapped your ass, and watched it jiggle.

Chris entered your wet, wet pussy, and marvel how if felt like it was choking the life out of him. He had to stop moving, or he would burst almost immediately.

“How the fuck are you so wet, but so tight. It’s like a fucking vice grip, geeze.”

You both waited and felt it jump inside you, then Chris reached down, grabbed you by the neck and pulled you upright and flush to his chest.

One hand clutched your throat and the other arm hooked under your leg, allowing him to piston up into you upright while your other leg dangled, your big toe barely touching the ground.

Chris held you and fucked up into you, grunting each time the large mushroom cap head of his cock was stuffed into your pussy.

“Ugh, gatdamn it, you were thinking of leaving, ugh, you wanted to leave this, mmmmmm, this dick that, ugh, that fucks you like this?”

Chris’s mouth was near your ear, which was on his shoulder because your head had fallen back on his chest. He was using you like a sex toy as he fucked you senseless.

His dick slicked in and out of you with obscene wetness, Chris somehow lifting you up and slipping completely out of you and pounding back into you with force.

“Chris!!!”

You started shaking, your center of gravity being where you and he were connected.

He fucked you even harder and faster, chasing his release, but he maneuvered his hand to find your clit, refusing to come before you.

“Fuck! You know you were going to miss this cock that your sweet cunt fits… like… a …mutha …fuckin… glove!”

"Ahhhh!"

You screamed as you fluttered around his cock. He could take only so much before he had to shut his eyes and bite down on your collarbone. Chris’s legs were trembling now.

"Take all of it!." He was hitting your spot. "How does it feel?"

Although the feeling was intense, you tried to speak.

"L-l-l-like h-heav-v-v-ennnnn."

The sound of your voice made his release start to build.

With each of his thrusts, the sweet tightness began to build until you came, screaming and moaning in pleasure.

“Oh shiiiiitttttt!” Chris exploded inside your tight wet cunt. He wanted to fill you up like never before. He wanted to put his baby in you and tie you forever to him. That made his balls empty.

He fell back on the bed, with you on top of him, slipping out of you and depositing you on the bed beside him.

Chris couldn't help but smile as you both came down. He was made for this.

Chris put his hand on your cheek, brushing your beautiful lips with his thumb. You smiled under his attention into his sea blue eyes.

“I love you.” You grinned.

“God, I love you.” You sobered up, taking in the weight of his words.

“Is it weird that I want to get you pregnant before we’re married?”

You made a face.

“Who says I want to marry you?”

Chris scooped you in his arms and rolled you over on top of him.

“You don’t want to marry me? You’d say no if I asked?”

You held in a giggle.

“Nah. I’m gonna move back to Houston and marry someone else so you can come in town and fuck me over the hood of your rental car. That sounds hot as fuck.”

Chris released an anxious breath.

You took his head in your hands.

“Easy now. Ask what you want to ask.” Chris started to speak. You put your finger over his mouth.

“When you want to ask it.” You looked into his eyes again. “I won’t break your heart.”

Chris smiled at you and said, “I know.” He kissed you.

And when you pulled away, breathless, he told you, “You’re the One.”

----------- Read Part Two: It Takes Two

Let me know what you think. Like, comment, reblog! Tags:

@olyvoyl @summerofsnowflakes @sillyteecup @riiyy @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @theselilwonders @lonelydance @chattykathysquietsister @anh1020 @nissameta1782 @afriendlyblackhottie @betterkeepmewetterthanabayou @jbrizzywrites @stilltoyou @donutloverxo @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @kiwisa @food8me @aiikaa @marvelfansworld @london-grunge @pheebsyells @thesecretlifeofdaydreams-bl-blog @douxtille @ximaginexx @jdmacca92 @fofisstilinski @bertieandberries @ladystrawberry @bit-of-a-timelord @chesca-791 @calimoi @fangirlfree @bbaengtan @karolsboo @aliceforbes @insertpithyusername @sickknik @photmath @whorekneebrain @anacrcarvalho @iconicshit @spicybibimbap @chaoticsteverogers@txtsfromyourex @sadthotsonlylove @ikatieebabyy@nerdymugsharkempath @maroonsunrise83

#Chris Evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x black reader #chris evans smut #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans ask #chris evans fic #chris evans x you #chris evans reader insert #chris evans angst #ask dj

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starcitysirens · 2 years

Text

So I kind of accidentally helped trigger a bit of a freak out in the Buckynat fandom for calling out Jackson Lanzing on twitter yesterday. Whoops.

I'm talking about this exchange >> click me

Anyway, this is giving me an excuse to word vomit about my feelings about Man on the Wall so whatever.

I said yesterday that every time Lanzing mentions how important the Kot/Rudy Winter Soldier run is to him (especially re: the upcoming Cap run), I start sweating, and I think that's a common response since most Bucky fans I know hate that run. I wanted to ask him directly what it is about that comic that speaks to him but I didn't wanna come off as confrontational, so I didn't.

So, I'm going to attempt to parse it out.

So far he's said:

"A huge part of our story is about taking Steve out of the superhero game and into something resembling normal life."

And about Bucky he said: "And on the Bucky side, Higgins/Reis looms large as groundwork for the character as he walks into our story. And I've been pretty open about how the Kot/Rudy run completely changed up my view of Bucky as a character, so consider that one required reading."

So the common thread I see here is 'a life beyond duty'. Second Chances was Bucky's attempt at having a somewhat normal life. Moreover, the story revolved about Bucky facilitating other people walking away from bad situations in order to start over as civilians. We also know from Devil's Reign: Winter Soldier that he just gave up this happy ending in order to learn the truth about his past.

So this brings me to Man on the Wall.

On paper, Man on the Wall has a fascinating concept. Consider where Bucky is, emotionally, when he takes the job. He's been chasing personal redemption for a while, and it hasn't quite worked out. His run as Cap ended poorly. He tried to find redemption by reclaiming the Winter Soldier, and that also ended badly; he not only lost Natasha, but he went to such dark places in that run, that while attempting to redeem "the Winter Soldier", he wound up corrupting himself. And then Fury's offer comes along and he's quick to snatch it. And there's nothing redemptive about it, it's resignation. It's him saying, this is what I've done all my life, doing the dirty work is all I’m good for, (he did it for Steve back in the day, after all), what I am is a soldier, and a killer. And yeah, there is some aspect of nobility here, as in doing the wrong thing for the right reasons, but ultimately it's an escalation. And a regression of sorts.

That’s where he is when he arrives at Mer-Z Bow and meets Ventolin.

Overall, I found that run to be difficult to follow and connect to, for multiple reasons, but the point it was trying to make is summarized in that last panel:

Just because this is what you’ve always done, it doesn’t mean it’s who you have to be for the rest of your life, you can open yourself up to new avenues. And that is beautiful. And I would’ve loved to see Bucky wrestle with that idea while doing Fury’s dirty work.

The problem is, that's not what happens in this book. Mostly because Bucky spends the bulk of this run with very little agency in the plot, because all he does is just stand there and look pretty. Like, literally, I'm not even exaggerating. Daisy Johnson sees more action. Cause, when it comes down to it, the main character of this book is not our Bucky, it's the Old Man Bucky from that future/different universe. This comic is like that Chris Pratt and J. Law movie Passengers, in that it's supposed to be a space romance, but it's really just a psychological thriller. There's this great Youtube video where someone explores how the story changes if we edit the movie so that it starts when J.Law's character wakes up and that we, the audience, find out Chris Pratt woke her up on purpose at the same time she does and we get to feel the real horror of what he did.

That’s how I feel about this comic.

Sure, I know I have my biases because I’m a buckynat fan, but I’m also pretty ship neutral and can be up for anything as long as you sell it to me. The thing is, I never bought Bucky and Ventolin’s love story because Kot never actually showed it to me. I don’t know why they’re in love (I mean, we barely even see them interact, to be honest). Actually, if I’m remembering this correctly, neither does Bucky, he just feels it because he had a dream. A dream that we are not privy to. A dream that may or may not have been psychically sent to him via Old Man Bucky. And this is where things get icky for me, because it brings up issues of consent.

This comic was a bit confusing but I think it’s fair to interpret it this way. A version of Bucky somewhere in the universe wound up in Mer-Z Bow, fell in love and found peace. And now that Bucky is out there making sure every Bucky gets his happy ending. He directly interferes with our Bucky’s life. And I think Bucky has had enough of people messing about with his agency. But no one ever brings this up in the text. Bucky has feelings he can’t explain and he just goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So Jackson Lanzing says he’s a Ventolin stan and my first reaction is lol, why. But I think it might be more about the idea of what Ventolin represented: the possibility of a life beyond the duty of being a soldier.

And I’m okay with that conceit being explored by a better writer than Ales Kot. I think Kot came up with a great idea, he just didn’t understand Bucky well enough to do anything really meaningful with it.

Devil’s Reign is setting up major retcons for Bucky. We don’t know the extent of it yet. But we at least know Bucky will be wrestling with issues of choice and consent again, cause it looks like he was groomed to be a killer his whole life. And that’s gotta be brutal, especially if it turns out his parents were in on it, thus destroying the memory of his family, too.

And to circle this back to buckynat, I get the feeling Lanzing (and maybe Kelly) might think that relationship belongs to a specific moment in Bucky’s life, years that are associated with great darkness. And that in a way, as long as they are together, then they’ll never really leave the Red Room (psychologically speaking). If the idea is having Bucky move on from the life that was chosen for him, then I can see them not touching it. That doesn’t mean I agree with that, I’m just speculating at to possible reasonings.

Anyway, I rambled for long enough.

#bucky barnes #winter soldier #buckynat #adjacent #devil's reign: winter soldier #bucky barnes meta #wow this got away from me

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kitkatpancakestack · 3 years

Note

Friend. That episode scrambled my brain. How are you holding up? I need to talk about Buck in this episode. Dear, wonderful, pulls-no-punches Buck. Buck in THAT scene — The Talk.

Or, can you talk to me about Buck? (What with my scrambled brain and all.) The way the shooting — their shared trauma and the will — Eddie's act of profound love for Chris AND Buck, for their family — have this physical presence around them, inside of this cherished bubble they built. The inherent tension between these two things — the fear of loss and the love. How Buck is the one who alludes to them, is the one to begin to push. But neither of them are willing or able to sit fully with them just yet. About how Eddie folded like a cheap suit at the gentlest of prods, and the choices Buck made about where to push. And where not to.

Can we talk about the layers of subtext in every single word of The Talk? "Is that enough?" "I've been Ana..." "...like a ready-made family...I'm not sure I'm ready for that..." *Buck's face...* The way Buck evoked his own experiences, as if they have value, because he knows he matters now, because Eddie told him he's not expendable...

The way Eddie remains a stubborn fixed point in his denial (this is not going to last), but Buck is watching, thinking thoughts and connecting dots.

Anyway, this is me rambling in your ask box to get you to talk to me about Buck.

*pours two cups of coffee* @yramesoruniverse always good to see you thanks for stopping by, and you don't even need to ask I'm ready at the drop of a hat to get weird and meta about these firefighters.

I think these two episodes fundamentally shifted something in my brain, for sure. There's a lot of calling-back happening, subtle mentions and locations and props that niggle at your memory a bit to think where have I heard this before and given how similar S4 Eddie was to S2 Buck, I am interested to see additional implied parallels from this season to S3.

You want to talk about Buck, let's talk about Buck. Let's talk about the deliberate placement of him, once again, in opposition to Ana. Let's talk about how him and Ana, in that one scene, do not interact at all. I mean, there's no quick niceties, they don't even make eye contact to acknowledge the other's existence, which I think is an enormously effective and sneaky way to show how these two people have become proxies trading places in Eddie's life, for all intents and purposes serving the same function, which is why they have thus far been contrasted separately, and why it feels so tense when they are in this moment together. And it felt like a test. Ana failed. Buck didn't.

Let's talk about the shooting and the guardianship, especially the guardianship, how they have not been explicitly and thoroughly addressed. Idk if it's just me but it feels like there's a heaviness to all of Buck and Eddie's scenes, this unmentioned thing taking up space that they are painstakingly dancing around.

There's so much in that Talk scene at the station. So many layers. It's funny; they don't talk about their love lives until it starts to disrupt the real family unit they got going on between them and Chris. This is married behavior. This is what partners do, as a team with a kid to think about. You need to tell me if something is wrong. This is one significant other telling the other one that their problems are starting to cause waves and they need to touch base with each other, get back on the same page. And the way Eddie folds, because he knows, because he and Buck are partners, because they built this thing between them and it requires ongoing love and dedication to maintain.

Buck inserting himself as Ana? Buck and Eddie having this conversation about what real love should look like? That fucking pause before Eddie looks up at Buck, like something is going on there but I cannot pinpoint exactly what. There's so much I haven't even begun to unpack.

It is literally driving me insane. The subtext has become text. I don't even....what is the protocol for this?

#buddie #ask #yramesoruniverse #quick morning meta to have with your coffee #meta by me #falling apart at the seams bc of two dumb firefighters by me

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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years

Note

Prompt: Vampire Chris drunk on blood?

CW: Drunkenness, drug addiction, blood drinking, vampirism, creepy abusive comfort, WWI-period-appropriate xenophobia and brief vague possible homophobia reference, dehumanization, war whump

"Now, that'll get you blotto faster'n French liquor," Kirk says, sinking back against the muddy trench wall, careless for the dirt caking itself into the hair at the nape of his neck.

His helmet lay beside him upside down on the ground, and his brown hair was free to explode in its wealth of curls, a kind of halo around his head. He had one arm out, sleeve rolled back. His hands were caked in mud and smeared with drying dirt - above the line of his sleeve, though, the skin was paper-white, almost clammy.

It was this white skin that the vampire's fangs were buried in.

"Shit, Holden, y'gotta have 'im bite you, too." Kirk's grin widens. The shells had gone silent but every man flinches, now and then, hearing a phantom sound or feeling a rumble beneath their feet.

At least it's finally stopped goddamn raining.

The venom rolls through Kirk's veins, soothing his jangled nerves. He can barely feel the trembling in his hands and it feels like his mind, when it's in him. He's a farm kid from western Nebraska, the second son and not needed so much as the first to bring the crops in. So here he is, learning to love the feeling of teeth in his skin.

Maybe when he gets shipped back home he'll stick to the cities. They say the vampires have their dens there, where they can hide. You can buy venom enough to quiet your mind for a day or two, the city boys tell him.

They're in it as deep as he is, now.

Feels like half the American army is itching for venom these days.

"No thank you. I'm not gonna get sent home and start chasing fangs like the rest of you." Holden squints, looking up into the dark sky, the rolling clouds that seem far too close to the ground. "It'll rain again soon."

"When isn't it going to rain again soon? Oh, right, when it's already bloody raining." That's a Brit, they just call him Tommy. No one knows his real name.

He claims to hate them all, but since half his unit was blasted apart two days ago, he's hung with the 'Yanks' close enough. Kirk thinks he's fond of them, even if he won't admit it. Or just scared to be alone. He can understand that. He's terrified of the thought himself. "Shove the little vamp over to me, Kirk, I want some."

The vampire pulls his fangs free, licking over the wounds he's made until they close. He's a skinny little thing, pale as paper with bright red hair they stuff under his helmet when he's running medic checks in No Man's Land, trying to make him less obvious. Sure, he can't die from gas, but he can be blown to bits by a whizz-bang fast as any living soldier can.

"Please," The vampire says, turning big green eyes up to Kirk. "I, I, I'm tired, please, can I sleep?"

He's got heavy dark circles under his eyes. It's kind of cute.

"No," Kirk answers, curt, shoving the vampire away by his head, watching him fall into the mud. His uniform is marked with it, now, a dab of dirt over the 'V' sewn next to his medic's cross. There's a satisfaction, in Kirk, just in seeing the little thing laid low.

He won't die in this war, and Kirk probably will, but before that happens he can at least hurt something he can see. You can't see old Fritz when you fire on him from a distance - but you can see a vampire flinch in the dirt. It's not much.

It's something.

"Must be daytime," Holden speaks up, still staring up at the clouds. "You can't tell, weather like this, but if the fangs're tryin' to sleep, must be day."

"He sleeps when we're done with him, and not a moment before." Kirk's voice is a murmur, eyes half-closed. He's drifting in it, the way the venom dulls and deadens the eternal ache in his back and legs. The Germans could come roaring over the bags right this second and Kirk wouldn't give a damn at all. Let them kill him, at least he can go with venom in his veins, not as a basket case carried off the field. "Not a second before. Go on, bloodsucker. Get over to Tommy and help him get some shut-eye, huh?"

"I've been drinking all night, pulled some rations off someone," Tommy groans, rubbing his fingers at his temples. "It's done no good at all." It's a funny little gesture, so oddly normal and casual. Reminds Kirk of home.

His throat tries to close, homesickness bowling him over. The wish to return to his mother's worn smile, sit down to dinner and have her ask him about his day, when his problems revolved around the harvest and the hard backs of the pews in church-

He takes a breath, forcing it back, and gives the vampire a vicious kick in the ribs, listening to his high-pitched cry and how he curls around himself with a smile of his own.

Oh, he'll die, probably. The others from his town already have. But he can remind himself he's still alive, for now. One way or another. He can cause pain he can't feel himself, for once.

"I said get over to Tommy and smooth out his sharp bits, bloodfuck."

"Yes, um, y-yes, Kirk," The vampire says, pulling himself onto his hands and knees. His fingers are smashed into the mud deep enough to nearly disappear. If they could only get a few days of sunlight to dry out all this dirt, it wouldn't be such hell.

As it is, his socks've been damp for weeks, his boots feel like they're caging his feet in a swamp. He's worried about trenchfoot and trying not to think about it. He stole these boots off a dead German when his own started to fall apart, anyway.

He could've probably gotten new ones, but... it had felt good, taking something from Fritz after Fritz took so much from him.

Kirk tries not to remember that the German soldiers he fights have never caused him a single moment's harm on purpose. They're only fighting for the same reasons he is - because someone higher up who doesn't give a damn about them said to.

Kirk had been all gung-ho for the war until he'd been sent over here to fight it. All those articles in the newspapers, all the speeches given by men standing in town squares... it had all made it seem so patriotic.

They never tell you, Kirk thinks bitterly, that you'll be sent into a slaughterhouse. They don't tell you you'll spend your day breaking a vampire's fingers one by one just to watch them heal back into place and listen to his little cries.

Just to pass the time.

"Trade me your flask while the fangs takes care of you," Kirk says, and Tommy hands it over easy enough.

He watches Tommy grab the vampire by one arm and yank him over, vicious and violent, making the vampire boy cry out again. The sound is starting to grate on Kirk's nerves. It makes him sound too human. He hates being reminded that every vampire used to be a person.

He drinks whatever's in the Brit's flask, and it burns down his throat just the way he needs it to. Wipes out his worries, relaxes shoulders that seem always to be tensed up nearly to his chin.

His mama's a teetotaler, back in Nebraska. He'd been one, too, until the first bombardment. Now he drinks anything he could get his hands on, and the officers mostly looked the other way.

"Bite," Tommy orders. Kirk raises his eyebrows when Tommy doesn't roll up his sleeve but pushes the vampire's face instead towards his neck, turning his head to the side to bare it.

His eyes meet Kirk's, and he smiles, bitterly. "Works faster this way," He explains. Kirk just watches as the vampire's fangs glint in the eternal dim twilight, hesitating before they bury themselves in Tommy's skin.

The little monster's back arches, pressing them chest-to-chest. A low rumble comes from somewhere deep inside, the animal sound the vampire makes during a good feed. He doesn't do it much with the regular unit any longer, they mocked him for it and one day he stopped.

The vampire's throat works as he drinks, and Tommy's arm slides around the monster's thin shoulders, forcing him closer. He's nearly kissing his forehead, this way.

It's an embrace, and altogether more intimate of one than Kirk thought he'd ever see from the cold, standoffish Brit. He feels a blush creeping up his neck and his cheeks as Tommy lets his head fall back, groaning softly in a kind of contentment as the venom hits. The sound isn't quite like a groan at all, it's more like-

"Fucking hell, Tommy, are you an invert?"

"Invert suggests I give a damn what bites me," Tommy replies, without opening his eyes. His slurred speech deepens, goes slow. His hand curves around the vampire's shoulder, holding him tightly. "I'm after oblivion, lads. I don't care what parts the fangs have that give it to me."

"Fang-chaser," Holden says, good-naturedly. Clearly not bothered the way Kirk is. Maybe that's just his farmboy past talking, that he's even unsettled at all. Maybe Tommy's got a point - who cares what's between a vampire's legs if you're only interested in the damn thing's mouth in the first place? "Fucking fang-chaser, that's what you are. End up in a den getting your hips bit like Oscar Wilde."

"Who's Oscar Wilde?"

Holden laughs. "You should try reading a book or three sometime, Kirk."

"Sure, sure, whenever I get the damn time in-between running over this blasted nothing. In any case, Tommy's definitely a fang-chaser."

"Guilty as charged... just like you two." Tommy's hand slides up into the vampire's hair, gripping tight and gently pulling backwards. The vampire's fangs slide free, and it laps at the wounds, rapidly. Tommy groans again. Kirk finds himself unable to look away at the bob of Tommy's throat. How good does it feel, in the neck? He's never thought to try it. He thinks about it now. "Turn me in to face discipline for unnatural relations with the fangs and I'll do the same to you."

"Yeah, yeah, we got it. Fucking Limey bastard." There's no real animosity in Kirk's voice. He's too distracted, drunkenly considering the vampire boy's mouth. Wondering if he knows how to kiss. "You shared your liquor, I shared our bloodsucker, we're both of us in it to our necks."

"Not me," Holden says, innocent and pure as the driven snow. As if he weren't the one to give Kirk the idea to use the venom in the first place.

Kirk throws a clot of mud at him, which he dodges, laughing. They're all laughing, soon enough, except for the fangs.

The vampire lays there, his head pressed to Tommy's chest and forcibly held in place by his arm. His eyes are slightly wide, unfocused, and Kirk leans forward.

"What's this, then? What'd you do to the fangs, Tommy?"

"Hm? Nothing. Oh, I'm pissed as can be, do they feel the liquor in your blood?"

"I'm guessing they sure do. You drunk, fangs?"

The vampire's eyes drift over to Kirk, move too far to one side, come back again. He swallows, thickly. "I... I think I, I, I am," He says, and tries to push back against Tommy's chest, to free himself.

The Brit's arm crushes him back into place, his other hand moving up to run through the vampire boy's dirt red hair, petting him like one of the ambulance dogs. Kirk and Holden laugh at the vampire's weakness. "Stay right where you are," Tommy murmurs. "Or I'll run you through with my bayonet and let you squirm all day."

"Christ," Kirk says, blinking. "That's a bit rough, isn't it?"

"He's not alive, what does it matter?" Tommy lets out a bitter little laugh. "Might as well get a preview of our own ends, shouldn't we?"

"You two, maybe." Holden crawls into the dugout, the little bed-space, a kind of cave dug in underneath the upper layers of the trench. He lays down on his back, closing his eyes, hands behind his head. "I'm going to go back home and never think of you lot ever again."

"I pray every night to make it home," Kirk says, nodding along. "Not sure anyone's listening, but I got to try, don't I?"

"What happens to the fangs, anyway?" The Brit looks up, rocking a little back and forth. As if the bloodsucker were a baby needing soothing. The vampire boy has relaxed against him, the liquor-laced blood he drank lulling him into a complacent bonelessness. Kirk watches the vampire boy's fingers start to tap over the Brit's chest, a strange movement he's seen the boy do before in his few relaxed moments between the scream of the shells. He hums, low in his throat, tuneless.

"Huh?" Kirk blinks. "What d'you mean, what happens to him?"

"After the war's done. What are they gonna do with the bloodsuckers? Can't exactly pin a bloody ribbon for valor on them and send them on their way, now can they?"

"Nope. I don't know what happens. Maybe they'll just stake them all and have done with them."

The vampire shudders, giving a little whimper. Tommy leans down, lips moving against the vampire's hair. "Ssssshhhh. Not to worry, little fangs. War's not over just yet, now is it?"

"N-... no. Not, not, not, not yet." The vampire's eyes close, pink-tinged tears creating pale tracks in his dirty face. He's a sad drunk, then, Kirk figures.

Aren't they all, these days.

"Maybe you'll outlive us all, and make fools of us for keeping you." Tommy speaks with a patronizing affection, as mocking as it is tender, petting through the creature's hair still. It's... unsettling to watch. Kirk had figured the Brits and French probably killed all their vamps, since they were all disturbed by the sight of the vampire medics when the doughboys first arrived in Europe.

This, though... this makes it seem like Tommy's known a vampire or two himself, in his life. And he's sure as fuck not unfamiliar to what venom is good for outside of giving relief from agony to the injured.

Kirk frowns, thoughtful.

He's turned into a thoughtful drunk, too, thanks to this goddamn war. Sad and thoughtful. What a fucking waste.

"Sleep," Tommy says, almost gently, to the drunk little vampire. "I've got you. Sleep, little one."

The vampire's eyes slip closed. He doesn't breathe - there's no sense of his chest rising and falling. Kirk has to look away before the sense of wrongness, watching Tommy cuddle a corpse, makes him sick.

He takes a long, long draught from the flask, and relishes the burn that reminds him he's human, and alive.

His own eyes slip shut, and he prays for an hour or two of sleep before the next screaming shell bursts overhead.

@mylifeisonthebookshelf @insaneinthepaingame @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @pretty-face-breaker @endless-whump @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @doveotions @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @what-a-whump

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nerdzzone · 3 years

Text

-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read this story, especially those who took the time to comment and share their thoughts! I never imagined it would get this much love and I really appreciate it.

This is the last part of this section of their story, but there will be more! I don’t have too much planned yet, but I’m definitely going to write a little prequel about how it all started and then maybe a series of one shots of various events in their lives or a follow up series a bit in the future. Keep an eye out for that and enjoy this last part for now!

Part Four

_____

Part Five

It was still dark when I woke up.

It took a moment for me to remember where I was and why I was intertwined with a very warm, sculpted body, but as the memories came back to me, I was relieved that it was still early. We hadn't had the forethought to set any alarms despite agreeing that I should leave before Grayson came down so it was lucky that I'd woken up naturally.

I knew I needed to leave while I had the chance, before I drifted back off to sleep, but the peaceful look on Chris' face was hard to disturb. It had been an emotional night for both of us at the end of a busy day so I tried to slip away without waking him up, but even in his sleep, he wasn't ready to let me go. His grip tightened the moment I started to wiggle and I couldn't help but smile at his need to keep me close.

Stretching up, I placed soft kisses along his jaw as I quietly called out his name between each one. It took a few moments, but eventually he stirred and his grip tightened on me again as he tilted his head to look down at me.

"What time is it?"

His voice was raspy with sleep and it sent tingles down my spine.

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "But I should probably go upstairs."

Chris leaned up on his arm just enough to look over me to glance at the clock on his nightstand.

"It's only five," he informed me. "Stay."

"He gets up early some days."

My words were true, but he wasn't going to be swayed.

"Never before six, we've got time."

Before I could put forth any more arguments, he leaned down and silenced me with a kiss.

It felt strange - waking up in his bed, sharing such casual affection - but it felt so right.

I let my hands slide over his toned chest, soaking in the hard shape of his muscles, enjoying the shiver that ran through him as I ghosted my fingers down over his prominent abs before trailing back up his waist. A smile slid onto my face as I pulled back slightly.

"How'd you get so many abs?" I mumbled. "It's not fair."

I felt Chris' lips twitch into a smirk against my own as he slid his hands under my shorts as he had the night before.

"No more unfair than you walking around in these sexy pajamas for the last few weeks..."

I snorted a laugh and pulled away to look down at what I was wearing before looking back at him.

"I don't wear sexy pajamas," I protested. "These are old and frumpy."

"What are you talkin' about?" He laughed. "Who in their right mind thinks booty shorts are frumpy?"

"These are not booty shorts, they're normal shorts."

"Well, they're short enough that they've been driving me crazy," he informed me, leaning down to hover his lips over mine again. "But then again, you could wear anything and make it look fuckin' hot."

I felt my cheeks heat up at his compliment, but before I could deny it, his lips were back on mine.

It was a slow and lazy kiss and I was struck by how different this felt to the intimate moments we'd shared before. There was no threat of one of us coming to our senses and running away, we could relax and enjoy every moment. The knowledge that this was something deeper, something stronger than a fleeting moment of weakness made it feel all the more profound; it made the fire that was building inside me burn brighter with every brush of his tongue against mine and every tug of my hips against his.

His hands kneaded and squeezed my bum as I let one of mine rest on his chest while the other tightened on his bicep. His tense, sculpted bicep. So much for out of shape, I thought to myself remembering our earlier conversation, but I didn't have time to voice any arguments against the claim that he'd made before he drew my mind back into the moment.

Pulling back slightly, he nipped at my lower lip and began trailing kisses down my jaw. I hummed happily at the sensation until he focused on a spot just below my ear, a spot that pulled a gasp from my lips. Encouraged by the sound, he sucked there, gently at first but steadily increased the pressure until his teeth grazed against my skin and I couldn't hold back a soft moan.

He chuckled as he pulled his mouth back, just enough for his breath to hit my neck and send shivers down my spine.

"I can't wait to find all the places that do that to you..."

I felt my cheeks heat up, partially from the shame of how easily he'd found such a sensitive spot and partially from the anticipation of him finding more.

"Shut up," I mumbled, moving my hand from his arm to his jaw to lift his mouth back to mine.

He smirked into the kiss, letting our lips stay together as his hands slid up from under my shorts to under my shirt instead. He wasted no time lifting it over my head, tossing it aside and settling his hands on my chest. Another gasp slipped out of me as his fingers found my nipples and pinched them softly. The sensation alone sent a wave of arousal through me, but as he leaned back to flick his eyes down and take in the sight, I felt the heat between my legs grow even more. His pupils darkened as he bit his bottom lip and I let my hips rock against his.

"Chris," I practically panted. "Please..."

He pulled his eyes back up to meet mine as if my voice had snapped him out of a trance and he smiled, kissing me again.

"Patience, Winnie. Patience."

Winnie. It was a nickname he'd started using years ago, the first night we met. It wasn't until he mumbled it now that I realized how long it had been since he'd used it. Probably not since I'd told him that we were better off as friends, I'd just been Whitney since then. The sound of it made my heart clench as I captured his mouth with mine and arched into him. I needed to feel him - I needed that closeness.

He let me press against him, moving his hands so my chest could rest against his and letting them trail down to quickly rid himself of his pants and me of my shorts before settling them back on my thighs. He kissed me deeply, his tongue teasing mine as his hands slowly moved higher, taking advantage of the position of my leg over his hip as one hand slid between us.

I gripped him, gasping against his mouth as he pressed his thumb against my clit while one finger, quickly followed by another, sunk inside me.

My head fell back then, giving Chris the opportunity to press his lips against the exposed skin.

"Never get tired of seeing you like this..."

The words were mumbled into my neck, but I couldn't even fathom a response as my eyes squeezed shut, too distracted by the feeling of the movement between my legs. I knew the thickness of his fingers was only a hint of what was to come, the slow yet purposeful rubbing was just a tease and that thought was almost overwhelming.

I wanted to touch him, I wanted to hear him whimper and feel him squirm like I was, but when I reached out to touch his hard cock that lay between us, he used his free hand to pull mine away, pinning it to his chest. At the same time, he pressed harder on my clit and I couldn't find the strength to argue as my arousal became almost overwhelming.

"Chris, please," I repeated my earlier plea, but he played dumb as he raised an eyebrow.

"Please?"

I wanted - no, needed - him inside me, to feel the stretch and ache of his cock as his hips thrust against mine, but as hard as I tried to focus and get more words out, more specific directions, my mind went blank. He looked smug at my helplessness, but a curl of his fingers had my eyes fluttering shut as a moan tore from my throat and my hips moved against his hand as if they were no longer under my control. I heard a faint 'shh' before Chris' lips covered mine again in an attempt to swallow the noises I couldn't hold back.

He was relentless as he stroked the sensitive spot he’d found with every move of his fingers. It was intense. Too intense but not intense enough at the same time until suddenly it was perfect. My nails dug into Chris' arm, my thigh gripping his hip as if to keep him exactly where he was and the pleasure ripped through my body.

My chest heaved as I came down from the high, my hand going to Chris' wrist to guide his away from me, needing a relief from the stimulation once the trembles of my orgasm had stopped. He rested his hand on my hip instead, stroking the skin softly as he laid soft, gentle kisses on my lips until I relaxed.

Eventually I melted against him, my body loose from my release which was a stark contrast to the tension that ran through him. He was impossibly hard, already leaking, and practically his whole body twitched as I let my hand drift over him from base to tip.

"Whitney," he choked out. "Fuck."

His voice was strangled, his eyes wide, pupils blown and the vision of him so wound up sent another wave of heat through me. I teased him for a moment, a lazy smirk on my face as he shivered under my touch, but he didn't let me have my fun for long.

He shifted slightly, pushing forward enough to knock me onto my back. My hand slipped away from him and he caught it in his, lacing our fingers together as he pinned it to the bed. Shifting his hips, he settled into position before reaching down with his free hand to guide himself inside me making us both moan at the sensation. He surprised me by how continually restrained he was as he slowly pressed forward until he was buried completely. The stretch was fierce and I felt every inch of him, soaking in the feeling as my body adjusted. Once I was comfortable, I rocked my hips and gasped at the friction.

Chris pressed his lips against my shoulder, his hand gripping mine a little tighter as he pulled out almost as slowly as he'd pushed in. The second thrust was slightly more forceful, but it was clear he was holding back, using the soft movements to build the tension between us.

And it was working.

Every slow drag had me feeling every inch, every brush against every nerve and I felt myself quivering around him within moments.

He nudged his nose against my chin as he trailed his lips up until they pressed against mine again.

"Look at me."

His demand came out in a grunt, but I forced my eyes open to meet his. His gaze was intense and it was hard not to look away, but there was more behind his stare. A softness, a twinkle, a look of love. My breath caught in my throat as I let my free hand move to his cheek.

I held his stare as he continued his gentle thrusts, the speed increasing as his will power waned and I matched him, letting myself rub against him with each movement. It didn't take long for the pressure to start building, for the slow and consistent friction against the most sensitive parts of my body to make me tighten and clench as my release began to build again. But as it built, so did the emotions bubbling in my chest.

This closeness. The intimacy. The difference between this moment and any we'd shared before. How he was taking his time, like every touch was purposeful and like every movement had more meaning behind it than words could express. It was unlike anything I'd felt before and it made my heart ache.

He was watching me as my eyes grew misty, grunting with almost every thrust and soon, the intensity was too much.

I pressed towards him, pushing to meet his movements as my eyes fell shut, my jaw dropping as I panted against him. I felt his grip tighten on my hand again as he picked up speed until our hips were crashing together.

I let my arms lace around his neck, pulling him closer to me so I could bury my face against the skin of his shoulder as it took mere moments - practically seconds - for me to fall over the edge, muffling my repressed cries with his muscles.

"Fuck," Chris groaned, his head hanging low as his own release was edged closer by mine.

He thrust once, twice, three more times before pulling out completely leaving me twitching around nothing as he spilled on my stomach. He held himself steady, eyes squeezed shut, chest heaving, until he caught his breath and let his arms relax, rolling over to lay next to me.

That was when the wave of emotion I'd been feeling crashed down on me. As I laid there, covered in his cum, I suddenly felt as exposed and vulnerable as I had during our conversation the night before. I bit my bottom lip to stop it trembling, but I couldn't hold back the tears as they began trailing down my cheeks and onto the pillow below my head.

I could hear Chris breathing next to me as he came down from his release, but I stayed perfectly still, hoping not to draw any attention to myself. It wasn't until I drew in a shaky breath that he noticed I was crying.

"Hey, whoa, what's going on?" He asked, rolling onto his side so he was facing me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I choked out. "I'm just...overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed in a good way?" He asked, his worry written all over his face. "Or bad?"

"Good," I assured him, smiling softly and reaching up to stroke his cheek. "It's all good, I promise."

"Okay," Chris nodded, but there was still concern in his eyes. "I'll be right back."

He scurried off to the bathroom, reappearing moments later with a damp cloth. He quickly, but gently wiped up the mess on my stomach before throwing the cloth in the laundry basket in the corner and climbing back into bed. As soon as he was settled, he pulled me into his arms and let me rest my head on his chest.

We stayed like that, holding onto each other as Chris whispered quiet reassurances to me for a few minutes until my tears came under control.

"Sorry," I sniffled. "That's so embarrassing."

"It's not," he insisted, stroking my arm softly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Absolutely," I assured him, placing a soft kiss on his chest. "Better than okay. It's just been an emotional night, I guess it all kinda hit me."

"I thought," he paused. "I thought maybe you regretted it..."

His confession made me sit up so fast that it made my head spin slightly as I turned to look at him.

"No, Chris, it's not that at all! I don't regret it, not even a little bit, it's pretty much the opposite," I explained. "I'm happy and that felt different, it caught me off guard."

"Just a big emotional release then?" He questioned with a smile, waiting for me to nod in confirmation before stretching forward to place a kiss on my lips. "I love you."

I felt my heart swell from how casually he said those words and I couldn't hold back a grin as I rested my forehead against his.

"I love you too."

We soaked in our moment of bliss for a few minutes before we realized that it really was time for me to go. I was slow and reluctant as I peeled myself out of bed, still desperate to keep this peace that we'd found undisturbed as long as possible, but it was nearing six o'clock and the threat of Grayson waking up was increasing by the minute.

So, after pulling Chris back in for one last kiss, I snuck off back to my own room.

Surprisingly, I fell asleep again almost as soon as I crawled into my own bed. The excitement and stress of the last twenty-four hours had me more tired than I realized and I didn't wake up again until just after eight o'clock.

As I laid in bed, trying to wrap my mind around everything that happened, I found myself feeling strangely nervous about going downstairs. I could have stayed in bed with Chris forever - away from the world and prying eyes, just the two of us soaking each other in as we made up for lost time - but things were always harder when you integrate them into real life. I tried to reassure myself, convince myself that we were the same as before, just with more kissing and wonderful orgasms, but that seemed like a bit of a stretch.

We'd spent so many years keeping each other at arms length to dull the pain of not being together and avoid any signs of our feelings slipping out. I had no idea how to act around him now that we were together.

I knew that hiding in my room all day wasn't going to solve anything though so after a quick shower, I headed downstairs.

It became clear that I'd missed breakfast as the noise of laughter floated in from the living room and while I smiled at the sound, I headed to the kitchen in search of coffee first.

I thought I'd snuck down quietly, but I'd barely put the cream in my drink when I felt hands on my waist and lips against my neck. I tensed, feeling my nerves bubble back up to the surface, but I turned in his arms to face him.

"Good morning," Chris smiled before leaning and pressing a soft peck on my lips. I forced a smile in return, but my brain was racing and Chris picked up on that right away. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "It just feels weird. Being able to touch you or kiss you or whatever. I resisted for so long, it seems odd to do it now."

"Sounds like someone is overthinking things," Chris teased as he raised an eyebrow. "Because you literally threw yourself at me in front of my entire family yesterday with no hesitation."

My jaw dropped as Chris smirked down at me.

"I did not throw myself at you," I protested. "At least, not how you're implying! I tackled you in a sporting situation!"

"Ah," Chris' smirk widened. "So, you admit it was a tackle then?"

"You made sure the point didn't count," I reminded him as I rolled my eyes. "I don't understand what you're trying to prove."

Chris chuckled and pulled me closer causing me to instinctively put my arms around his neck to help me balance against him.

"I'm trying to prove that you used to touch me plenty without a second thought," he informed me. "And I remember because I savoured every little touch."

I couldn't hold back a teasing and somewhat patronizing 'awwwe' at that admission and Chris mumbled a gentle 'shut up' before forcing me to do so by pressing his lips against mine.

I was cautiously mindful that we'd agreed not to tell Grayson about this for a while - and that making out in the kitchen gave him a pretty good opportunity to catch us unaware - but it was just too hard to resist the sensation of Chris' tongue sliding against mine and luckily, it wasn't Gray who stumbled upon us.

"Wow," Scott let out a low whistle. "What do we have here?"

I felt my cheeks heat up, like we were teenagers caught by a parent, as I pulled away from Chris. He turned back to face his brother, a smirk on his face.

"Surprise!"

"Is it official?" Scott asked, the grin on his face warming my heart. He seemed genuinely giddy for us. "When did this happen?"

"Last night," Chris answered, looking down at me with a goofy smile. "And yeah, I'd say it's pretty official?"

I nodded, letting my hand slip into his and squeezing it gently as Scott let out a 'whoop' of excitement.

"I'm happy for you guys! It's about fucking time!"

We laughed at his enthusiasm as the patter of little feet on the floor alerted us to an incoming presence. I let Chris' hand fall away from mine and picked my coffee up instead, trying to look casual in a way that was probably unnecessary when dealing with an oblivious three year old.

"Uncle Scott said a bad word!"

Scott rolled his eyes as he ruffled his nephew's hair.

"I swear, that word is like a bat signal for him," he joked. "Every time I say it, he appears out of no where!"

"Then maybe you shouldn't use bad words at all," I pointed out, smiling as Grayson wiggled away from his Uncle's hand. "Then Grayson wouldn't have to keep you in line."

"You're right," Scott sighed with another roll of his eyes. "Sorry, Grayson. I'll try to remember not to say it."

Grayson nodded, pleased that his language policing was successful before turning his attention back to me.

"Mama, I need help."

"With what?"

He dashed across the room and grabbed my empty hand as he tugged me towards the door he'd just come through.

"My new dinosaur puzzle," he explained. "It's too hard."

"The one from Grandma Jane?" I asked, referring to the birthday gift that my mom had sent him. He nodded in confirmation as we walked into the living room. "Oh, that one did seem tricky. It's pretty big."

He nodded again as he sat down in front of where he'd scattered out all the pieces. He'd managed to get a few of them together correctly, but most of what he'd assembled had been wrongly forced in to place. I rested my mug on the coffee table and sat down next to him. He eagerly climbed into my lap, with a puzzle piece in each hand and bit his lip in concentration as he attached one of the pieces correctly to the ones he'd already connected.

"Good job! See, I don't think you need my help. You're great at puzzles."

"I do," he insisted. "It's too big."

"Okay," I agreed. "I'll stay here just in case you run into trouble."

Grayson flashed me a smile and got back to work as Chris settled in the chair facing us. I noticed he was on his phone, but I didn't realize he was taking a picture until he turned it around to show me. It was a lovely photo, from the focused look on Grayson's face to the soft, affectionate smile on mine as I looked down at him. Since there weren't usually many other adults around when Grayson was with me, I had always regretted that we didn't have many pictures of us together. He would humour me for the odd selfie, but candid photos of us were few and far between.

"That's nice," I smiled. "Can you send it to me?"

Chris nodded his head before his lips twitched into a smirk.

"I just signed up for Instagram actually," he informed me. "Maybe I'll post it on there."

I snorted a laugh at that suggestion as I shook my head.

"Your fans are already sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches after that recent interview, are you trying to get me killed?"

"Maybe it'll help," Chris shrugged, but the smirk that was still firmly planted on his face told me he wasn't serious. "It'll be less fun to gossip about us if I just post pictures of you all the time."

I turned my attention back to Grayson for a moment to help him find the right spot for a piece before looking back over at Chris.

"I don't think that would work," I warned him. "When did you get Instagram anyway?"

"A few days ago, but I haven't posted anything yet," he admitted. "I don't really know how to use it."

"You're such an old man," I teased him with a laugh. "Why did you even get it if you don't know how to use it?"

He shrugged again as he answered while Gray let out a little cheer as he put several more pieces in place.

"It's good for promoting stuff. Which will be important when we launch A Starting Point."

"That's true," I nodded. "And you can post all those 'thirst traps' that your fans love."

Chris raised an eyebrow and his age showed again when he questioned me.

"Thirst traps? What's a thirst trap?"

"It's when you post..." I paused to cover Grayson's ears briefly. "Sexy selfies to deliberately rile people up."

"Oh my god," Chris tossed his head back as he barked out a laugh. "I don't do that. The only selfies I post are of me and Dodger."

"I've seen the pictures," I reminded him. "You always make sure those bulging biceps are on display."

"That meets your definition of a thirst trap?" He raised an eyebrow. "You're easy to impress."

Now it was my turn to smirk.

"Or maybe I've just been really thirsty for you these last few years."

"Gross!" Scott protested as he walked in, a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. "If you're thirsty, I can get you a glass of water. Any other type of thirst should not be discussed while you're around me or your son."

I apologized, despite the giggle that slipped out, knowing that was a perfectly fair request. Chris, however, couldn't resist taunting his brother.

"Oh, I think she'll be fine," he informed him. "I quenched her thirst pretty well this morning."

I gasped and covered Grayson's ears even though he'd already heard the inappropriate thing his father had just said. Luckily, he was too young to understand what it meant, but Scott pretended to gag as he clearly got the joke.

"Okay, from now on, there will be none of that talk around me," Scott demanded. "No euphemisms, no jokes, no inappropriate touching or you two can go stay somewhere else and Gray and I will stay here together.”

I squeezed Grayson tight as I shook my head, displeased with that idea.

"We'll behave," I assured him. "Sorry, Scott."

Scott accepted my apology on the condition that we follow his instructions and Chris shot me a wink from where he sat.

I bit my lip to hide a smile so as to not antagonize Scott anymore and I took a moment to appreciate the situation. There was a lot of terrible, dark stuff happening in the world right now and I was incredibly grateful that we had a little pocket of brightness to bask in.

Chris and I soon found ourselves settled into things and getting swept up that new relationship bliss. That period of time that was filled with sultry glances, discreet touches taken during any possible moment, flirtatious giggles over silly little things - we were revelling in it all.

We did our best to be subtle - to keep Grayson unaware and to respect Scott's very reasonable ground rules - but from the near constant eye rolls from Scott, we weren't as discreet as we thought we were. He got particularly annoyed during our Mario Kart competitions as Chris' goal had shifted from winning every race, to taking out Scott so that I stood a chance. It was not a natural skill for me - I came last every time under normal circumstances - so I was grateful for any assistance I could get and made sure to thoroughly reward Chris for his help.

For the most part though, we'd reached a kind of peace that was nothing short of revitalizing. It was absolutely amazing to me how refreshed I felt now that we'd taken the plunge. I hadn't realized just how crippling our situation had been for me or the amount of energy I'd wasted fighting and suppressing my feelings for Chris. Now that we were together, it was like a fog had lifted on my brain. I had more energy and woke up with an excitement every day that I hadn't felt in a long time. I loved Grayson and he brought me a tremendous amount of joy, but there had always been a hole in our lives. I known that all along but now that the hole was closing, I was starting to realize just how big it had been and how detrimental it was even if I’d had the best intentions.

However, it only took about a week for the complications to start and all because Grayson was in a mood.

He woke up that way, as kids sometimes do, but it seemed like nothing we tried to do could help him shake off the grumpiness that he was feeling.

He fought Chris all through breakfast, he scowled all through his favourite morning cartoons and we narrowly avoided a meltdown when Scott headed out on his roller blades with Dodger and left Grayson at home. (He was an excellent uncle, but he gave Grayson more than his fair share of attention and we respected his need for some time to himself). After a good fifteen minutes of sulking and stomping around, I managed to distract him with his favourite train track, but even that relief was short-lived.

He played happily with me for almost half an hour, but he was still carrying a lot of tension in his body. It all came bursting out as soon as two of the pieces of track wouldn't slide back together as easily as he would have liked. Before I could offer any assistance, he let out a growl and tossed the pieces at the wall and kicking apart the ones we'd connected on the floor.

"Okay, Gray," I sighed. "That's enough. We don't throw our things around like that. You need to pick them up and put all this track away."

Grayson crossed his arms and shook his head.

"No."

I braced myself for a long stand-off as I nodded.

"It's not a choice," I insisted. "Come on, I'll help you."

"No," he told me firmly. "You do it!"

"I'll help you," I repeated. "But it's your mess, so you need to clean it up."

Grayson was unswayed as he continued to shake his head, but before I could try anything else to persuade him, Chris poked his head into the room we were in.

"I'm making lunch," he informed us. "Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich, buddy?"

A smile burst onto Grayson's face.

"Yes, please!"

He scampered over to the doorway where Chris was standing, but I was quick to voice my protests.

"Not so fast," I warned him. "You need to clean up all this track before you can do anything."

Grayson's face fell as he realized that he wasn't going to get away with his escape.

"No!" He snapped. "You need to go home!"

I was taken aback by that suggestion and how fiercely he demanded it, but Chris didn't hesitate as he jumped to my defence.

"Grayson, don't speak to your Ma like that," he scolded him. "Let's pick it up together and then we can go have some lunch."

"No, I don't want to!"

His voice was rising as he stomped his foot for dramatic effect and I sighed.

"I did offer to help already, but he wasn't having any of it."

"Well, we've got to get this mess cleaned up," Chris shrugged, throwing a few pieces in the tub as an example. "We can't leave it all over the floor or it'll get broken."

"I don't care!" Grayson insisted. "You're stupid!"

There were tears of frustration building up in his eyes as Chris winced at his uncharacteristic insult. I frowned, feeling my patience slip away despite my concern for why on earth Grayson was so wound up.

"Gray, that's not a nice thing to say," I sighed. "What's going on with you today? Why are you feeling so frustrated?"

I kept my voice soft and tried to hide my own feelings of frustration, but it did nothing to calm Grayson.

"I'm not!"

It was clearly a lie, but I threw a few more pieces in the tub, hoping to inspire him to help a little bit.

"See, look," Chris gestured to me. "Your mom will pick up the pieces on this side and you and I can do the ones on the other. Deal?"

"No! No deal!"

"Wow," Chris mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. "What is going on with him today?"

"I have no idea," I murmured back to him before turning my attention back to Gray. I moved over so I was kneeling in front of him and tried to look him in the eye despite his best efforts to look away. "C'mon, buddy. We can't do anything else until this mess gets cleaned up, so why don't we just get it over with and do it fast?"

"Go away, Mama," he demanded. "Go home! We don't want you here now!"

I knew his words were said out of anger and that he didn't mean it, but I couldn't deny that they hurt, especially with how passionately he spat them at me. I was momentarily stunned, but Chris leapt to my aid again as he appeared at my side, kneeling in front of Grayson as well. His jaw was tight, a clear sigh that his patience was thinning as quickly as mine.

"Grayson, that's not true," he insisted. "We love having your Ma here."

"No, I hate it!"

"Oh, do you?" Chris matched his scowl as Grayson nodded. "Well, you better get used to it because things are different now. We've decided that it would be nice for us to be a family."

"Huh?"

Grayson's eyebrows wrinkled together in confusion and my heart sank. I wasn't sure what Chris was thinking, but this wasn't how I wanted Grayson to find out.

"Your Ma and I love each other very much," Chris elaborated. "And we want us all to be together all the time, so you guys won't be going home anymore. You won't have to go back and forth."

Grayson's brow furrowed even more as his bottom lip wobbled for the few seconds it took for him to burst into tears. Chris looked shocked and I cringed as Grayson ran out of the room, the sound of his cries echoing up the stairs until his bedroom door slammed.

"Chris..." I started once the house was silent.

"I know, I know."

Chris shook his head as he stood up and helped me to my feet, but I wasn't about to let this go.

"What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," he admitted. "I was frustrated. He's been hard work today."

"I know he has." I was agreeing, but my tone wasn't one of solidarity. "But it's best not to inform children of massive life changes out of frustration or while they're in the middle of a tantrum!"

Chris huffed and crossed his arms, looking not unlike Grayson had only minutes before.

"He shouldn't talk to you like that."

"He's three, Chris!" I reminded him. "You can't drop bombs like that when he doesn't even understand what you're talking about! And, for the record, I don't remember ever agreeing to move in here permanently."

Chris swallowed hard as a frown slid onto his face. He looked worn out and if I wasn't so annoyed, I would have felt sympathetic. This had been a trying day during a very trying time and we were all just doing the best that we could. But that applied to Grayson as well and as difficult as he was being, he didn't deserve to have that news thrown in his face in a way he couldn't even comprehend.

"I just assumed..."

"I know you did, but that's something we need to discuss before you bring it up with Gray."

"It makes the most sense."

"Maybe so," I shrugged. "But we're moving a little bit fast here, don't you think? Two weeks ago we were barely speaking and now you want me to fully move in with you?"

"You've already moved in."

"It's different though," I insisted. "This is temporary, most of our stuff is still at home."

Chris looked down at me, the sadness and disappointment on his face making him look even more like a little boy, but his sad face wasn't the one I was most concerned about right now as my thoughts moved back to Grayson.

"Look, clearly we have more to discuss and work out, but I need to go check on Gray right now."

Chris still looked downtrodden, but he nodded.

"Alright, I'll come with you."

He moved towards the doorway, but I stopped him.

"Do you mind if I talk to him first?"

His face fell again, but he moved out of the way and wordlessly gestured for me to pass by him. I stretched up to place a kiss on his cheek and mumbled a 'thank you' in his ear before heading up to Grayson's room.

I knocked when I got to Grayson's door, but was unsurprised by his rude response.

"Go away!"

His tone was angry, but it sounded like his tears had subsided and I was grateful for that. I ignored his request and slowly opened the door, the sight inside almost bringing tears to my own eyes.

He had a little bag on his bed and was packing his things into it. The important stuff, of course, like all his favourite toys, but it broke my heart that we'd upset him so badly.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly. "Are you going somewhere?"

"I'm going home," he told me, not looking away from his current task until he decided a clarification was needed. "To our home."

I sat on the bed next to where he was packing, trying to take the surety with which he spoke seriously.

"How are you going to get there?"

He was unfazed by that logical question as he answered.

"I'm going to walk."

"Walk?" I raised my eyebrows. "Wow. That's impressive. I don't think that I could even walk that far."

He faltered then, suddenly looking a tad less confident in his decision.

"Can you take me?"

"We can't go back there right now," I informed him with a sad smile. "We're not allowed to go anywhere right now, are we?" I paused while he shook his head. "So, if we went home, we'd have to stay inside that tiny little apartment all day every day. That wouldn't be much fun, would it?"

His face fell as he tried to wrap his mind around that and his bottom lip started to quiver again.

"But...I miss it."

Almost as soon as he finished speaking, he burst into tears. I hated seeing him so upset and was relieved when he let me pull him into my lap.

"I'm sorry, baby," I cooed into his hair, rocking him gently as I rubbed his back. "Things have been kinda strange for you lately, haven't they?"

He wailed out a 'yeah' as he nodded his head and I held him tightly, waiting until his tears subsided to try and offer anymore comfort. Once the sobs turned to sniffles, I spoke again.

"Daddy shouldn't have told you that we'd be staying here forever because I don't know if we are," I assured him. "Daddy was just frustrated because you were hurting my feelings when you said that you wanted me to leave."

"I don't want you to go home..."

His words were quiet, weaker now that he'd shifted from angry to sad and I wasn't sure which made my heart ache more.

"I'm not going home," I promised. "But things have changed between Daddy and I, like he said. We love each other and we want us to be a family. You know, like how Stella, Miles and Ethan all live together with both their parents."

I wasn't explaining it well, but I hadn't had the time that I'd hoped for to plan a simple and informative way to tell him and I was winging it. It wasn't working apparently as I felt Grayson shake his head.

"No, thank you."

I leaned back a bit, using my sleeve to wipe his eyes as I looked down at him.

"Why don't you like that idea?" I asked, a bit surprised by his negative opinion on the matter.

"I miss just Daddy time!" He told me, his eyes still glassy with tears even though they'd stopped rolling down his cheeks. "And just you time!"

It made sense. He spent almost his entire life having nothing, but one on one time with us and now suddenly he had none. We thought he would enjoy the opportunity to be with us both together, but it wasn't unreasonable that he would also miss that quality time with us apart as well.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry. We didn't realize you were missing that, but we can still do it," I suggested. "You can have some time where you just play with Daddy and some time when you just play with me if that would make you happy?"

I kissed the top of his head and reminded myself that we were doing our best and hadn't purposely caused any unnecessary stress to our child as I squeezed him close and he nodded his head.

"Yes, please,” Grayson sniffled out as there was a knock on the door and Chris poked his head in.

"Everything okay?" He asked. "I heard crying..."

"We're okay," I assured him as I patted the bed next to me. "You can come in."

Chris didn't miss a beat as he crossed the room and sat down next to me, the worry on his face making me feel bad for not letting him come up right away.

"Grayson was just telling me that he misses having time with us by himself," I explained. "He doesn't want it to be family time all the time."

"We can do that," Chris nodded. "You're the star of the show here, buddy. We want you to be happy, that's the most important thing."

Grayson looked at him suspiciously, but Chris continued before he could argue.

"I shouldn't have said that you have to move in here once all the germs go away," he assured him, flashing his eyes up to meet mine as if he was talking to me as much as he was Grayson. "You two can decide that when the time comes. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not scared," Grayson frowned at him. "I don't care."

I chuckled at his insistence and gave him another squeeze.

"Well, you cared a minute ago," I reminded him. "But if we make some extra effort to have some one on one time, do you think you'd like to give it a try being a family? Because I do think that I would like to try it."

Grayson twisted his face into a slightly over the top, pensive look before he eventually nodded.

"Phew," Chris matched his dramatics as he wiped his brow. "Because I think your Ma is really pretty and it's really hard for me not to do this all the time..."

As soon as he finished speaking he leaned over and pressed a sloppy kiss on my lips. I laughed against his mouth as Grayson's giggles surrounded us, followed by his shrieks of protest as he tried to pull our faces apart.

"Daddy!" He scolded Chris. "That's gross!"

Chris chuckled as he shook his head.

"You won't think kissing is gross one day."

"Yes, I will," Grayson shot him a cheeky smile. "I always will!"

Chris growled playfully as he pulled Grayson off my lap, dragging him back down onto the bed with him. His fingers were moving frantically as they tickled his sides and Grayson's giggles reached almost deafening levels.

Their laughter was contagious though and I couldn't hold back a giggle of my own as I watched them.

I was relieved that Grayson seemed to have come round to the idea of things changing. I assumed he didn't fully understand what we were talking about or what it truly meant, but the fact that the idea of change had stopped bringing forth floods of tears was rather reassuring.

I had hoped that keeping him in the dark for a while would give Chris and I some extra time - time that would give us the chance to back out without any unnecessary heartache - but seeing them together now, I realized that would be next to impossible.

Even if Grayson was unbothered by any dissolution between Chris and I, there was no going back for me. They were two of the most important people in my life and just the sight of them laughing and playing together was enough to have my heart close to bursting. I was invested and in over my head, but I was more determined than ever to make it work.

We deserved a chance at being a family and it was undeniable that there was more than enough love between the three of us to make it work with just a little bit of effort.

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