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lrissa · 3 years

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You Deserve To Be Happy

summary: you finally reach the sea with your beloved

warnings: none

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

The small squad rode along the green earthy plains, they had to be miles away from the wall now. But there had been no signs of any titans, zero footprints, no lurking titans, or even dead remains.

Turning your head to the man beside you, you softly frowned. Levi hasn’t been the same since bringing back Wall Maria. You knew it was because of Erwin but he also reminisced for the fallen soldiers, who gave everything to die at the very end.

You were lucky to even survive such a traumatic experience.

A hill was approaching and as you got to top you gazed down to find a big bellied titan, his face in the ground as its dull eyes stared up at the sky above. Its limbs were tiny and fragile in comparison to his body, you almost felt pitiful for the thing.

Riding your horse down to it you stepped off your stead and walked to the face of the lonesome titan. Levi watched you with precarious eyes, ‘Don’t be a idiot’ he thought whilst he watched you walk near the titan.

You planted a foot on his hand, testing its security until stepping on it completely. The eyes of the titan went cross-eyed as it attempted to examine you, making no move to even open his mouth.

“Lieutenant Y/N!” Sputtered a cadet as they watched you with huge eyes, “Careful it might eat you!”

Levi watched as his girlfriend stood on the hand of a titan. He truthfully thought she’d gone mad but, nonetheless he loved her dearly. Her spunky personality filled the void in his soul, by now he believed he’d never be able to carry on without her. Pathetic almost.

You set a hand on the titans forehead, patting it lightly before stepping down. “It cant do anything. If it stood it’d snap its legs in half, but judging by its trail it knows this.” You retorted.

It was true, the titan had crawled all the way to this point. But it seemed to have given up because the little tunnel it had created in the soil had grown over with grass and flowers.

Walking over to your horse once more you looked to Levi, his stoic eyes following you. Mounting your horse you trotted over to the raven head, reaching over to grab his hand, he pulled away instantly. A disgusted face on his features.

“Brat, did you just touch me with that titan filth on your hands?”

You stared at him before grinning widely, of course. You’d forgotten.

“Sorry, darling.” You grabbed his hand again with your opposite one.

“Tch” Levi furrowed his brows but allowed you to take his hand, even if you just pulled that stunt. Bringing his hand to your lips you kissed his knuckles softly, your tender lips kissing his calloused hands. Even if the Captain was rude and cold, he liked being handled gently but only by you, of course.

“You’re lucky I love you, idiot.” Levi said smoothly as you dropped his hand gingerly, you smiled at him again. “I love you too.”

“Lets go. We’re close.” Spoke Eren while he stared at the titan, taking off past it with the rest of us towing behind.

“Hey! Shouldn’t we kill it!” Yelled Floch as he unsheathed his blades. You turned your head to look at he kid, “Leave it!” You answered.

The horses galloped in the soil, till you saw sand in the distance. With the squad nearing closer they entered the sandy terrain. Mistakenly to you, you opened your mouth as sand filled it immediately, Levi watched from the corner of his eye, a faint smile taking his lips as he watched the idiot girl.

Suddenly you came across a large stone wall, it was long and eerie. “That’s it. This is the place where Eldians were made into titans.” You looked to Eren for a moment and back to the wall before turning away from it, “And..... Beyond that...” Eren slowly spoke before the squad came across an opening to the other side of the wall.

The horses climbed up the hill, sunlight peeking over the edge as it glowed on your features. Delight clawing at your heart as you longed to see the other side. Finally, you reached the top to reveal a massive sea, one so large you couldn’t see land on the other side. Your eyes enlarged as you trotted to the edge, stopping as the horses neighed loudly in content.

The ocean breeze blew through your hair as you stared. It was heavenly, no words could hardly begin to describe such a sight, but blue water stretching for miles and miles, the waves reflecting the sky and sun as it shined vibrantly.

It was silent, for the first time in months, years, days, the air was quiet. Everything seemingly perfect, this was the moment everyone has been silently waiting for, the moment for a breath of fresh air as they learned more about this hell surface.

Snapping your gaze to Levi you watched as the wind danced through his inky hair, brushing it away from his eyes and ears. His usual dull eyes wide with surprise, a beautiful sight in itself, really.

Moments passed by before Sasha screamed in excitement, jumping off her horse and running down to the beachy sand. Already pulling off her shoes as she tumbled down the hill. Connie, Jean, and Hanji followed happily behind as they themselves struggled to take off their boots.

Armin quickly snapped from his trance and grabbed both Eren’s and Mikasa’s shirts, pulling them off their horses to run to the sea.

Levi had dismounted his horse and stood at the edge silently, you quietly got off yours and walked beside Levi.

“Isn’t it wonderful, Levi?” You asked softly and turned your head to stare at his now usual expression, his shocked one was short lived but at least you saw it.

“Yes.” He stated calmly, you watched him closely. Something was off from deep inside him and it was nagging him down to the core. Your heart stung for him, if only you could take away all his pain and anguish.

“...Levi” You placed a hand to his cold cheek, pushing it gingerly so you could look at him in the eyes, “I know... I know you wish they could see this.” You whispered softly as his eyes widened slightly, his hand reaching up to grab your wrist and hold it in place. Even though ‘they’ could mean anyone, you meant it that way. Because even if you knew Levi the best, he still had his inner demons.

“Y/N..” Levi began, staring down to his welcoming lover. Her eyes held so much softness and love. It made the raven head want to crimple into her arms and cry, cry for the ones he never had the courage to cry over, but he wouldn’t.

Because he was Humanity’s Strongest.

You placed your other hand on his opposite cheek, bringing him close to your face as you began to softly kiss his forehead. Moving to his cheeks you kissed them tenderly while you traced your thumbs in a circle on his cheekbones softly.

“Levi.” You traced his jaw with lovely kisses while all he could do was bring you closer, the overwhelming feeling to cry glossing over his eyes. But his features stayed stoic.

“You deserve to be happy.”

Levi finally got to his breaking point, gripping your hips he pulled you over and smashed his lips to yours. Your fingers traveling up to his hair as you raked your nails through his soft black locks.

The kiss was sweet and delightful, one that was rare and you cherished it deeply. Pulling away gradually, he wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and hid his face in the crook of your neck. You rested your head on his chest and traced small circles on his back.

“Idiot, I love you so much.”

#angst #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi angst #levi aot #levi heichou #levi x reader #levi x y/n #aot x reader #aot #snk x reader #snk anime #snk #snk levi

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meringuejellyfish · 2 years

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i dont understand why people think qifrey is some evil mastermind hes literally just a guy. one who never grew out of his recklessness and lost sight of what mattered for a bit (which resulted in his ass getting kicked and landing in the hospital for a while Lol) and has just been making some awful choices out of very understandable fears. cant forget that he also has an actively worsening condition that could be the end of the world for him. he doesnt wanna get anyone else roped into his mess and is incapable of asking for help even when he is fully aware and acknowledges that somebody like olly would follow him to the end of the earth knowing all there is to know. he doesnt want him to get hurt and would prefer he live in bliss believing that qifrey is the same person hes known his entire - who used to tell him everything, who grew out of old habits, who made a home together. hes afraid of accepting genuine love and care from others and will continue to push them away until it kills him. i really dont think he’d get to the point of being antagonistic but hes going to get worse before he gets better thats for sure. i also dont believe hes going to have a tragic end - disregarding any attachment to this character i just think that would be plain bad writing and would throw out everything thats refreshing/fulfilling about his character . like hes just traumatized and scared lol

#allisters atelier #dont get it wrong tho i love making fun of this guy. its so easy #but also >_> looking around #i jjust think about him . Lol #he is like sooooo me except i dont erase peoples memories but yknow #nya #trying to post more stuff like this instead of keeping it in the drafts. i didnt proofread this sowwy #waaaa #i'll post my qifrey analysis that mostly regards ch40 stuff (i could probably just go off talking about ch40 alone like fuck man) SOMETIME .#idk. sweats #this guy this fucking guy #what tha hell did they put into this manga #why must characters be evil or good or sexily morally grey or whatever. is it not enough to be a good teacher and dad whos also the #stupidest man alive #hes just some guy its sooo funny

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honey-0tu · 3 years

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Ok so I see you guys out there shipping Zoe with Luka or Marinette or Alix but I raise you: Zoe and Fei Wu- WAIT NO HEAR ME OUT OKAY-

Partly this is projection because I see a lot of my younger self in Zoe and I had a lot of online friends who helped me out while I was bullied in school and while I was moving countries.

My headcanon is that Fei and Zoe became online friends while Zoe was in school in NYC and over the course of time, they admitted liking each other romantically but they don’t really properly date or anything, they’re just a pair of kiddos who know they like each other and that’s enough for them. Continued under the cut because this headcanon is a bit long - more like an AU, whoops! :’)

Zoe’s birthday is coming up and Fei wants to get her something as a surprise but can’t decide. Zoe’s been sharing some fashion ideas though which she wants to dress like but she’s worried about whether her classmates would find her preference for loud colors weird. Plus, as a boarding school, she has a uniform anyway. Fei finds a pair of plain-ish canvas shoes though and paints them and writes the I <3 U on the toe.

She sends them over and Zoe is over the moon excited and happy, her excitement makes her overlook her nervousness about what her classmates might think so she wears them through the school day after she receives them. One of her friends asks her who got them for her and Fei stumbles over what to call Fei. Saying ‘a friend’ sounds too light, if she says ‘best friend’ maybe the girls will get offended that they haven’t heard about her before. Before she can think much harder about it, she says ‘my girlfriend.’ The bullying starts to get worse, prompting Zoe to move to Paris. The cycle starts again, Zoe tries to fit into what Chloe wants her to be, she won’t make the same mistake again. But Marinette’s remark about her shoes sticks with her.

Every night, Fei and Zoe video call, Fei’s been more available since she found someone to live with and she’s seemed happier too. Fei excitedly tells her about her day working in the shop with Uncle and Zoe is happy for her - really! But when Fei asks her about how her day was, she just starts crying. She can’t stop apologizing for bringing down the mood but Fei reassures her and they talk it out. Fei motivates Zoe to be herself and stop letting Chloe walk over her - that she knows some wonderful people in Paris and she can get in touch with them to hang out with Zoe but Zoe cuts her off, she wants to be able to do this on her own.

The episode’s events take place woo~ One day, Marinette invites Zoe to an all-girls sleepover and Zoe is excited but then internally panics a little and stutters out that she has a girlfriend, worried that she would make everyone uncomfortable but Marinette just giggles and says that Rose and Juleka are dating and will be at the sleepover too and no one would be weird about her.

Zoe, relieved, accepts Marinette’s invite. At the sleepover during truth and dare, Alya asks Zoe if she had dated anyone back in NYC and Zoe stutters out her explanation that she has a long-distance girlfriend and the next person who gets to ask Zoe a questions asks her to tell them about her girlfriend and Zoe mentions Fei’s name and Marinette just GLOWS with excitement and grabs her phone. She snaps a quick selfie with Zoe, causing a photo of a very bewildered Zoe cheek-to-cheek with an ecstatic Marinette. Zoe asks what that was about and Marinette just laughs and says to wait a couple minutes and she’ll show her why. A few minutes later in the game, Marinette’s phone starts ringing for video call and Marinette accepts the call with a giant grin. Fei’s voice yells through the phone: “WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND HER- I CANT BELIEVE YOU GOT TO SEE MY GIRLFRIEND IN PERSON BEFORE ME!!” Marinette is just crying with laughter while handing the phone over to Zoe and everyone clambers around Zoe to say hi to Fei while Marinette is gasping for air from laughing while Alya is giggling next to her.

The next night during Zoe’s video call with Fei, Fei remarks on how happy Zoe looked during that sleepover call. That reminds Zoe, “wait- what did Marinette send you?” Fei laughs and sends a screenshot of Marinette’s text, just the selfie along with ‘this urs?’ Turns out, Marinette had heard Fei talk about having a girlfriend but Fei hadn’t mentioned Zoe by name but when Zoe mentioned Fei by name at the sleepover, it pieced together in Marinette’s mind, Zoe slipped perfectly into the stories which Fei had told Marinette.

Fei Wu visits Paris on Marinette’s uncle’s trip and Zoe comes with the Dupain-Cheng family to pick Fei up from the airport - cue those adorable videos of long-distance couples meeting in-person for the first time! <3

Okay this was longer than I expected it to be but I hope I can someone drag someone into this absolute rarepair with me lol

Oh also Zoe getting a dyed stripe in her hair to match with her gf <3

#miraculous ladybug #zoe lee #zoe miraculous #fei wu #renren #vesperia #zoe lee x fei wu #dragonbuzz #???#renbee #????#miraculous headcanons

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ri-ahhh · 4 years

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Okay, but with Grayson complaining about being lonely and wanting a girlfriend I CANT HELP but to think about how horny he probably is on top of that. Like- its been on my mind for days, so can you PLEASE write something about gray meeting a bitch, like through friend or something, and realizing he likes her and then having these dirty thoughts about her, and like he doesn't want to but he just cant help it... I will die and love you forever, you're writing is my absouloute favortie.

Ur so sweet babe haha thank you😊 hope this is along the lines of what you wanted.

Getting his dick wet has never been a problem for Grayson Dolan; not since receiving his first sloppy, inexperienced blowjob when he was on tour at the tender age of 16. There’s been a steady flow of girls in and out of his life ever since, fulfilling both his needs sexually and the fleeting desire for noncommittal intimacy. And that’s how he likes it for the longest time. Easy and no-strings-attached.

But he’s older now, and even though quarantine hadn’t stopped him from hitting up his favorite one or two booty calls every now and then, he feels empty in a way that’s becoming all-too familiar. It’s not a new feeling, but every time he leaves their homes (because that’s his number one rule — hookups stay out of his bed), there’s a longing that wasn’t satisfied and that’s becoming more and more apparent to him.

So he stops fucking around — literally. He believes in the power of the mind and manifestation almost to a fault, and considers that maybe he’s letting casual hookups interfere with what he really wants: companionship.

It seems like a breeze at first. Grayson swears he feels lighter, clearer in the head, more focused on what he wants out of his life. He puts his mind to being the best version of himself and hoping that it’s enough to attract the same kind of person that he can put all of his love and effort into in return.

As months roll on, however, he realizes that sometimes the universe just doesn’t listen right away. And for the first time in his life, Grayson discovers the monotony and reality of what it’s like for the ‘regular’ guys out there, whose only sexual pleasure comes from their own hand and the porn category of choice for the night. He was used to that as a filler, for sure, but not as his one and only outlet.

Plain and simple, he’s horny. All the time. Which makes him grumpy, and irritable, and frustrated with both himself and everything around him. So when Ethan tells him in passing that his girlfriend is flying in from New York with her friend to visit, it just makes him grunt. The fact that his brother is in such a happy and healthy relationship himself is a point of contention for Grayson in his head. He’s thrilled for Ethan, but he can’t help but dwell on the creeping jealousy in his chest. Here he is, starved for both intimacy and sex now, and Ethan will get served both of those the following night in excess while Grayson lies in his bed alone.

The next night, they’re all having dinner at the kitchen table — all four of them, including her. The friend. The friend that Ethan had mentioned would be coming but that Grayson had so brusquely ignored. The friend that had his eyebrows raised the second she walked shyly through his front door, drawn in immediately by her beauty.

The friend he can’t keep his eyes off of now as she goes to town on the roasted sweet potatoes and black bean burgers he had made himself. She’s quiet but witty and has a cute laugh that makes his heart flutter a little in a way he hasn’t experienced in a long time.

He feels a nudge against his ribs, and startles when he jerks to the side to see Ethan staring at him pointedly with a knowing little smile on his lips.

“You’ve got ketchup on your shirt, bro,” he says, nodding to the blob of red on Grayson’s white shirt that had dropped from the forkful of sweet potatoes, which had only made it halfway to his mouth as he listened to her talk.

“Shit,” he mumbles embarrassedly, flushing a color near the tomato-red that’s now stained his shirt. Of course, the first time he’s feeling real feelings around a beautiful girl, he has to revert to awkward, clumsy Grayson rather smooth, relaxed Grayson.

He starts to scrub up the mess with his napkin, but she reaches out from her seat across the table from him and grabs his wrist in her petite hand. “Oop, wait! Dab, don’t swipe, or you’ll make it worse. I know how to get that out as long as it’s not smeared around into the fabric.”

Grayson swallows, his arm flaring with goosebumps at her gentle but insistent touch, but tries to keep his cool. She’s grinning at him amusedly, then sits back in her seat when Grayson follows her instructions.

“I thought ketchup was one of those things that you’re just kinda fucked if you get it on your clothes, Ethan says, filling the silence left by his brother.

She shakes her head. “Nope. Peroxide will get it right out, especially if you wash it after. Do you have any?”

Ethan cocks a brow and looks at Grayson, hoping he’ll use the opportunity to speak to her. Thankfully, he does, even if it is lacking a little bit of gracefulness. “Huh, peroxide? Oh... uh, yeah, I — yeah, in my bathroom.”

“I’ll help you when we’re all done, if you want,” she offers before taking a modest bite of her burger.

Grayson nods, and can’t help but watch the way she sucks a bit of barbecue sauce off her thumb once she swallows. His heart picks up and he has to shift in his seat a little when she winks at him, his pants tightening under the table. Damn it. He’s been trying to avoid that reaction and those thoughts, determined to do this right.

He fixes a smile to his lips, and hopes his face isn’t giving him away. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

Everyone helps clean up the table and dishes, and Grayson leads her into his room while they leave the other two to have some alone time. He prays that he made his bed that morning and that there’s no dirty underwear on the floor or used tissues on the nightstand.

Luckily, the floor is relatively clear, and the bed is made, if haphazardly so. She follows him into the en-suite bathroom and watches him dig under the cabinet in the first aid bucket he has down there.

She’s wearing jean shorts and a loose-knit sweater, and when Grayson starts to stand back up he takes a moment to appreciate the tone in the muscles of her legs and the flashes of skin he can see through her top, hoping he isn’t being too obvious.

She takes the brown bottle from him and tugs on the hem of his shirt. “It’ll be easier if you take this off.”

Grayson nods, and can’t help the laugh that escapes him when she turns her back to him. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you your modesty! I don’t know you, for all I know you might be super insecure.”

“At the risk of sounding like a total douche, I promise I’m not,” he answers, reaching behind his neck to tug the collar up and over his head. “Here you go.”

She turns back around, and Grayson doesn’t miss the way her eyes travel over his sculpted torso. He can’t help but smirk a little, thrilled at the cute blush that tinges her cheeks when she meets his eyes and realizes she’s been caught.

He hasn’t had a woman look at him like that in months, however, and he’s grateful when she tells him, “This will need to go in the laundry tonight if you want to make sure the stain comes out, so you’ll need another shirt anyways.”

It gives him an out to duck into his closet, taking a moment to collect himself before grabbing the first T-shirt his hand touches and slipping it over his head.

“Cold water first,” she informs, smiling at him through the mirror when he re-emerges as she leans over the sink with the water running. She shuts off the water and squeeze out the excess, then takes the peroxide and pours some onto the stain.

“Woah,” Grayson says, eyebrows raised in surprise at the fizzing bubbles visibly picking up the bright red from the fibers of his shirt. “Where did you learn this trick?”

“I work in the toddler room at a daycare. We keep this stuff on sight and scene to avoid 20 outfit changes a day on a few two year-olds. I’m sure you can imagine the amount of ketchup and blood stains a toddler procures on the daily.”

Grayson chuckles. He feels himself growing more fond of her by the second. “You like kids?”

“I love them,” she replies with a grin. “Working in childcare is pretty rough, but it’s been a great college job. Lots of experience for my degree. And, you know, good practice for the future one day.”

If he hadn’t been sold by now, that does it. Beautiful, smart, and good with kids?

He takes a moment to assess himself and his thoughts. He doesn’t think he’s letting his dick lead him right now, even if he does want her that way. He’s just as attracted to her mind as he is the curves of her body and the features of her pretty face, and finds himself wanting to talk to her for hours on end.

He doesn’t realize there’s a heated silence, both of them standing there staring at each other, until she clears her throat and holds up his shirt. Grayson glances down at it to see just a faint brown rim around what use to be a bright red mark. “All done.”

“Thank you,” he says, taking it from her and tossing it in his laundry basket. “Come on, hopefully we don’t walk into something we can’t unsee.”

“You make a pretty good meat shield,” she says jokingly, following close behind him. “All big and broad. I can just hide behind you and keep my eyes unscarred.”

Grayson laughs loudly, his ego swelling, and he has to resist the urge to take her hand in his. That would be too much. Right?

Thankfully, the couple is just cuddling innocently on the loveseat when they enter the living room.

“Movie?” Ethan asks when the two of them settle on the couch, a respectful and calculated distance between them — not too close and not too far.

“Sure.”

They’re all in a fun and lighthearted mood tonight, so they settle on Moana. Grayson wants nothing more than to throw his arm around the beautiful girl next to him, who sings along playfully to the songs she knows, her enthusiastic movements shuffling her closer to him. He doesn’t know if it’s intentional, but he doesn’t really care; her presence in both body and spirit feels good to him.

Ethan’s girlfriend only makes it about halfway through the movie before she’s passed out, tired from the long flight earlier that day. He looks down at her fondly and chuckles when he sees her nuzzled sound asleep against his chest.

“I’m gonna take her to bed,” he announces quietly before standing with her in his arms. “Goodnight, guys.”

They both murmur back “goodnight” and watch Ethan disappear down the hall. The movie plays on for a couple of minutes, before she’s turning to him and making small talk. Which turns into broader conversation about bigger things. Which leads to them settling so close that their knees touch. She finds an excuse to pick an invisible fleck of something off his hand, which turns into their fingers playing with each other’s teasingly.

Which turns to Grayson checking his watch in a quiet but not unpleasant lull, and muttering, “Oh, shit,” in surprise.

She checks her phone lying on the couch cushion behind her. The time shines back at her 1:27 AM.

“Damn, when did it get so late?” she wonders aloud, looking at him amusedly.

Grayson shakes his head. “Time flies,” he says. Whether it’s the late hour, or him getting his mojo back, or just the fact that he’s so naturally comfortable with her, he suddenly feels bold enough to reach out and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “Are you tired?”

She blushes and bites her lip, allowing him to keep his warm palm pressed to her neck while his thumb strokes the ridge of her jaw gently.

“Not really,” she answers, scooting that much closer to him. “Not ready to go to my bed, anyways.”

She’s referring to the guest room she’s already settled her things into. Grayson smiles. Rules be damned, he thinks, until he realizes in the next moment that there’s no way this amazing girl is going to be just a hookup. There’s no rule to be broken.

“Why don’t you come to mine, then?”

#dolan twins #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #dolan twins fic #grayson dolan fic #blurb #g blurb

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agusvedder · 3 years

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I DON’T CARE if this doesn’t get any notes. I need to vent.

My name is Agustina, I’m 27 years old. I’m a nonbinary, queer, latinx person, parent of a 4 year old, non-verbal authistic child. I suffer from depression and anxiety.

I’m 9 thousand kilometers away from the woman I love.

I’m not a victim. I am a minority. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I started watching Supernatural in 2015, you know, being a stay-at-home parent, who dropped her career and her job to live the first years of their child, there wasn’t much I could do in my free time but to watch a show. I caught a few episodes of season 11 on tv and then I decided to start from zero. I always acknowledged how problematic it was in terms of representation, but always saw small threads of light filtering in the message it sent, recognizing how its writers were trying to shed a little light, creating a jenga tower of storylines and new characters, only to be thrown away by poor, useless deaths and the erasure of said characters.

Since my first run on season 1 I related to Dean. I saw myself on him. (I will never be as brave and cool as him tho, never ever, but his personality traits, some of his family issues, his self worth issues, his loneliness, his unaddressed childhood trauma, his growth in a circle of violence, his reticence to address his feelings until he explodes?... Yeah. There are days where my girlfriend makes fun of me saying “Ok Dean”). I kept looking up to Dean in his geekiness, in his way he always put his life on the line to protect the people he loves and put them always first… even in the supernatural side of the storyline, he still was profoundly human and abnegated to the people in his life. Also because I’m deeply in love with Castiel but that’s another subject. Thanks to this show, I’ve found people in my own country who now I recognize as my family beyond SPN, who helped me accept myself the way I am, who are always there for me. My found family, my chosen family. Because family don’t end in blood, because family cares about you, not only for what you can do for them, because that’s what all of us have in common, and why this show resonated as strongly as it did for us. That’s why we found each other and ourselves in the process, in a circle of love, support, non-judgement and willingness to find a family in ourselves when our own blood relatives ignored us, abused us, refused to recognize us. We’ve found love and family. I’ve found the woman with whom I wanna spend the rest of my life with because of this show.

That’s the power of this story. I know my small circle is not the only one who lived this, who continues to live it.

I can talk about this forever, but there’s something I wanna talk about specifically here. When the ending aired.. what I felt was… like a bucket of cold water was thrown over my head. You know when your parents come home, or call you and give you the devastating news that someone you love died? that exact feeling. The adrenaline, the heartbreak, the feeling of loss.

The whole season 15 and 15 years of storyline were completely overturned. The misogyny the writers tried so hard to erase, it was there again, in a faceless woman who was supposed to represent the person a lead chose to spend the rest of his life with, reduced to a lilac dress, a blurry face and a uterus. We never seen acknowledged the existence of Eileen Leahy, Sam Winchester’s romantic interest since season 11, his perfect partner whose disability wasn’t an obstacle for her to be a badass hunter. (BUT COVID!! <- No. Eileen Leahy appeared in two episodes this season without Shoshannah being on set: Last Holiday and Despair. If they wanted to include her, they would have. They didn’t because they don’t give a FUCK). Sam Winchester is an academic, a witch, a leader, a powerful hunter, a kind human being, and the ending that was given to him was living an unfulfilled life, dying at a ridiculous young age, having a son only to replace his dead brother? It was sad. Sammy deserved better. He always did.

My beloved Dean Winchester, who I love so deeply, who taught me a lot about myself, about life, love, family, about *ejem* VICIOUS CIRCLES and the power of breaking free from them, of learning to embrace one’s self, our real tastes, our real identity, to come out of a shadow of being reduced to someone’s caretaker instead of having an identity of our own, to spend life loving family the healthy amount.. well, he was killed in a ridiculous way, on a milk run of a hunt. After being eager and ready to kill himself so many times. After all he’s been through, after saying he’s good with who he is, after considering retirement, after standing up to his dad, saying he already has a family, ready to cut the “I’m Okay” bullshit, address his feelings, his trauma, don’t letting those define him. He deserved better. He always wanted a family, he always wanted to break free from the version of himself he was created to be, “daddy’s blunt little instrument” (For fuck’s sake, he even said it in the same show 10’ before dying, man. If we don’t keep living, the sacrifice the people who died for us did, was for nothing). Are you telling me this man really would refuse his brother to call an ambulance? Refused his brother to get the first aid kit even knowing it was more serious than his brother thought? He was ready to live. He CHOSE life, and at the end his choice was stripped away from him. He clearly was a bisexual man and they never explored it.

Cas. The misfit. The fish outside of the water. Ambiguous gender and sexuality. Finally makes a homosexual declaration of love after all he’s been through. After being brainwashed, used, suicidal, isolated. After telling Sam and Dean he loved them more than once, that they meant everything for him. After confessing he’s been in love with Dean since he pulled him out of hell…. Was erased from the story. Erased, literally. Two emotionless mentions aren’t enough for a 12 year old family member who pulled both brothers out of hell, who died for them more than once, who until 2 seasons ago he didn’t even feel like he belonged there ‘cause he was never told he was loved. No one ever told him “I love you” back. Not Jack, not Sam, not Dean, not Mary. No one. Ever. And still, he died for love. And with his death, he was erased from the finale, being that the first finale Castiel wasn’t in since his appearance on the show. He deserved better.

All roads lead to Rome and you know what we got at the end of that road? a bottomless pit of NOTHING. The building up towards a different end isn’t just in s15. It’s been there for years and years. And if you watch the show, you see it at plain sight.

Sam Winchester hurried to die to reunite with his brother in heaven EVEN WHEN HE SPENT 30 MORE YEARS WITH A WIFE AND A KID he only wanted to die to go back to his brother? it’s insane, it’s ridiculous. That’s not what the show has been about for seasons now. SEASONS. The road was paved towards a healthy brotherly bond, each brother living their future the way they wanted, finally breaking free from the curse John dropped on Dean that Sam’s destiny was in his hands. No no. What was that? Did it ever happen? Was it a fever dream? They really destroyed everything in 38 minutes of the finale?

Stupid.

Representation is important, stories are important. They change lives. You know how it changed mine? After I saw Jonathan Van Ness coming out as non-binary, I started to realize how I never called myself "a woman, a girl" or anything like that, how my "female presenting" aesthetic changes drastically depending on how I feel when I wake up how I always called myself a "person", no gender involved. I realized I was a non-binary person even after becoming a parent. Thanks to Jonathan Van Ness. Thanks to seeing a person like her being unapologetically herself.

Representation matters.

It matters.

It helped my mom understand me when I was 13 and had a girlfriend. It helped my dad educate himself about trans identities. It helped my sister understand about her demisexuality. It helps break circles of ignorance and stereotypes. It helps people process what these characters wanna tell, and realize they're human beings above it all. We suffer, we laugh, we grieve. We love. We exist.

Supernatural missed a chance to be a historical show in terms of representation. And it breaks my heart. I cant believe they decided to erase Dean's sexuality, to erase Castiel after saying loud and proud he's in love with a man, to erase Eileen whose disability only was a disadvantage when they KILLED HER in the most ableistic way in s11, to never show Charlie and her girlfriend again, that they decided to make God bisexual AND a villain, thay they decided to turn the only regular non-binary character of color into the villain too (Billie).

I'm still grieving.

This is why "a stupid show" is so important for me, and for lot of people like me. Cause representation can change lives. Stories can change lives. It certainly changed mine, and I'm not the only one.

Don't let anyone tell you you're just a butthurt fan because you're suffering this ending. Every one of us have a story and this is mine. All of us are valid, our feelings are valid. And we'll get through this eventually

#SPN ending #personal experience #castiel #dean winchester #supernatural #sam winchester #Long post #sorry

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conchshell · 3 years

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Hey could you give more examples for Pugin’s innovations? But like for dummies who cant visualise anything and have no idea what architecture was like before and after his time ? If it’s not too much trouble, ofc.

I could easily talk the hind legs off a donkey, so it’s no trouble at all! Of course with Pugin (and many Victorian architects inspired by his work), he advocated for a revival of medieval craftsmanship, but with a Victorian twist. People tend to frown down upon Victorian architecture because there were people who demolished perfectly good older properties (people known as “scrapers” in the C19th), and many people today lump architecture of this period into that category, but this simply isn’t the case! Also, I just want to say that I love Georgian architecture as well, so this is in no way bashing that style!

On the left is a standard Georgian house, while on the right is a standard Victorian house. Pugin grew up in a Georgian townhouse, and one thing he was fixated on was ‘honesty in construction’, many Georgian houses have a cheap brick inner which is faced in a nicer material, to make the building look more expensive than it is. Pugin hated this and felt that concealment of the true nature of the building was dishonest. He celebrated the use of red brick, a relatively cheap material, but said that instead of concealing the brick, one should embellish the material and celebrate it. He hated falseness of any kind, so he fought for the abandonment of fake columns and windows. Basically, if something was added to a building to make it pretty, he hated it. Rather, he said that the core materials should be expertly crafted to celebrate the beauty of them, rather than hiding them.

On the left is a neoclassical stained glass window, while on the right is a Pugin designed stained glass window. As well as architecture, he fought hard to bring back the use of stained glass windows. This is a massive topic so if you want to know more, I highly recommend having a google around. But during the reformation (the split of the Western Church into Protestantism and what is now the Roman Catholic Church) medieval stained glass was seen as naive and garish. Instead, plain glass windows were favoured, or styles that were restrained and muted in colours - more appropriate to the upper class. Pugin advocated to bring back the brightly coloured medieval styles, a fight which he won, as soon stained glass decoration started popping up in a variety of Victorian buildings.

He was also an advocate for handmade items. He believed that if possible, people should go to their local craftsmen and support small businesses, rather than supporting mass-produced goods made in mills and factories. In 1851 he showcased this at the Great Exhibition where he, and a small group of local artisans, made a 'Medieval court' (shown above) to showcase handmade objects.

But his biggest achievement was probably his own house built for his family, called The Grange (shown above). It's hard to think of this unassuming building this way today, but The Grange was wildly different to architecture at the time. The way Pugin's ethos differed greatly from architecture at the time was the way he laid out the rooms. Prior, architecture was built from the outside in; firstly the exterior appearance of the building was determined and then the rooms were slotted in place inside. Instead, Pugin believed that buildings should start from the people and how they would use the room. Then, the shape of the rooms would be determined, then the walls, and then lastly the exterior appearance. He also believed that instead of servants being placed on the top floor of the house, their rooms should be placed on the same floor as the family living there. And lastly, that instead of window placements being determined by achieving a symmetrical design from the outside, they should just be placed wherever made the most of the view.

In all, he advocated for a building style that would reflect the people that lived in them. He believed that individuality should be celebrated, rather than working to obtain an ideal appearance. The modern-day home is a descent of The Grange, a house where comfort and living is emphasised - where the sitting room and the kitchen are the core rooms of the home. Overall, a home tailored to your personal preferences, rather than one where you conform to popular tastes.

But most importantly, his ethos was more than architecture. He saw the Victorian era are money-hungry and obsessed with power and control, and he felt that a revival of the medieval period would bring out a sense of compassion in people. In his book 'Contrasts' he did a series of drawings showing the society of today, alongside a commentary of how society had failed to protect those he needed the help the most. Above is a drawing of the 'panopticon', a type of prison proposed by Jeremy Bentham. Pugin was shocked by this and believed that instead, prisons should be places of reform, especially for those who were placed inside for petty crimes. He hated that children were forced to work in the mills, and believed that by building more schools the underprivileged would be able to attend. He hated that the elderly were sent to the workhouse, and instead designed almshouses for them to live out the rest of their lives. And perhaps his views were somewhat fantastical, but his enthusiasm inspired a whole new generation of architects and thinkers, who then went on to fight for society.

Ultimately, what was unusual with Pugin and the Gothic Revival movement, was that it wasn't an architectural style fueled by aesthetics, but rather by societal issues. He believed that the wounds of society could be healed by looking back on the past and determining where we went wrong, rather than pushing forward in a thirst for power.

#Oooh thank you so much for the ask!#I honestly find it such an interesting topic!!#Hopefully I haven't bored you guys too much 😂#asks #my-special-place-in-hell

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jisungsmochi · 4 years

Text

partners - lee jeno

Jeno x Reader (female)

Genre: highschool!au / writing partner!jeno / kind of a bad boy but not really / fluff / some angst + also slow burn ish

word count: 6.5k

note: this will be split into parts, i’m most likely only doing two parts so look out for it soon hehe <3 i also am considering doing a spin off with another member...you’ll see who hehe

summary: being enrolled into an extension writing class had its perks. you got to write about more mature topics, and associate with upperclassmen. but when your teacher pairs you with lee jeno, an unexpectedly brilliant writer, he had you second guessing everything. after all, he was just meant to be your partner, nothing more.

“new semester! i’m so excited” your best friend, jisung cheers as you both walk past the school gates.

“me too! i cant believe they let me into the extension writing class. they’re all upper class men” you slowly begin to get nervous. jisung rests his hand to your shoulder,

“don’t be like that, you are a good writer okay? they will be so impressed with your work” he attempted to cheer you up. you slowly nodded in agreement, it couldn’t be that bad right?

“and y/n, i thought we were going to try and find you a boyfriend this semester! that peach sweater is not doing you any justice” he teased, poking at your sweater.

“what? i think it’s cute! you just don’t have taste” you roll your eyes at his comment, not noticing that you were walking backwards. and before you knew it, you had tripped. you closed your eyes, knowing that whatever the outcome was, it was going to be embarrassing as hell. but you didn’t feel your body smack to the ground, instead there was a steady pair of arms, holding you up. you kept your eyes closed, unsure of how to proceed. the mysterious figure slightly coughed, signalling they were a lot closer than you thought. you opened your eyes cautiously, turning to face the person who had saved you from an embarrassing fall.

“i-i’m so sorry, my friend and i were just arg-“

“yeah i heard, don’t stress about it” the deep voice gave you a small shiver. lee jeno stood in front of you, in all his glory. he was dressed head to toe in black, as usual. but today, he wore a plain white shirt under his large jacket. he stared back at you, waiting for you to respond.

“ah well, thanks for catching me” you blurted, he just nodded before speaking,

“anytime. and by the way, i think the sweater is cute, peaches” he smirked before heading into school. you were left stunned. you turned back to jisung, who had the same reaction.

what just happened?

despite the fact that your strong point was writing, you couldn’t say you were doing particularly well in your other subjects. in conclusion, you were borderline average in everything else, mainly because you didn’t bother putting effort into your other subjects. jisung would badger you about your grades, non stop. he would send you some of his work as an example as well as constantly remind you of due dates. you were satisfied with just passing everything, it didn’t bother you so much.

“jisung! y/n!” you heard a familiar voice shriek through the halls. your other friend, sumi, ran up to you both, encompassing you in her embrace.

“i missed you guys” she pouted, as you and jisung just rolled your eyes.

“you literally saw us like last friday?” jisung teased, you softly nod along with the conversation, zoning out from time to time.

“anything happen before school? i’m sorry i couldn’t walk in with you guys” sumi sighed, as jisung smirked.

“yeah y/n fell on lee jeno” the boy began chuckling, sumi following in suit. your eyes widen, as you smacked jisung’s shoulder.

“i wish i was there, i live for clumsy y/n moments” sumi continues to mock as jisung ruffles your hair.

“thank you for always providing us with quality entertainment” jisung finally jabs before heading off to his next class. sumi ended up walking with you to your first lesson of extension writing. you cautiously stepped into the classroom, observing the students around you. the class divided, half seniors and half juniors. there weren’t that many people who qualified for the class in general, hence the handful of quote on quote ‘gifted’ students. you quickly took your seat, hoping that someone else hadn’t claimed it before you did. your thoughts were interrupted by someone slamming their bag on the desk behind you. you jolted up quickly, startled by their actions. you turned slowly to see who it was,

you have got to be kidding me.

“oh hey peaches” jeno greeted before taking his seat behind you. you didn’t know he was going to be in this class, heck you knew nothing about him.

“i have a name you know, it’s y/n” you respond, watching as his mouth turns up into a small smile.

“i’m jeno. and nice name, but i think i prefer peaches.” he smirked, before you could respond your teacher had just walked in.

“goodmorning class, what an exciting semester we will be having! now, i have read through your papers you all handed to me before the break. please take my criticism seriously if you want to succeed in this class” she sternly announced, beginning to walk around the room. you nervously started fidgeting, your lack of confidence overpowering you.

“y/n, i was quite disappointed with this piece of yours. it lacked a lot of emotion, i couldn’t really figure out what you were saying. i know you are a talented writer” your teacher, mrs kim, explained. you just nodded along, not feeling like anything you could say, would have made a difference.

“i-i’ll try harder” you quickly respond, looking over your paper intensely.

“i hope you will, that’s why i’m giving you a writing partner” you look up at her in confusion, as she diverts her eyes to the boy behind you.

“h-him?” you mumble, as she nods with her arms folded.

“me?” jeno raises his eyebrows before flicking his eyes to you.

“yes! jeno did the best on this task, and you both could learn some things from eachother” mrs kim smiled before walking over to another helpless student. you looked back at the boy, unsure of what else to say.

“i guess we’re partners then?” he mutters, looking over at you.

“i guess we are” you softly nod.

after class ended you practically sprinted to find your friends to inform them of your predicament.

“woah what is with you girls and wanting to see me so bad?” jisung mocks once again, resulting in another slap from you and a forehead flick from sumi.

“i got news” you begin, as you all walked to your usual lunch spot. you all sat, huddled together,

“okay spill” sumi demands, as she began eating her food.

“mrs kim made jeno my writing partner” you dropped, as your friends stared at you in shock.

“holy shit it must be like fate or something” jisung’s mouth was wide open.

“no guys please don’t joke! i’m already embarrassed as is! he won’t let go of the peaches joke and it honestly makes me wanna rip off this sweater” you pout, as your friends gently comfort you.

“y/n, don’t you think you’re being a tad dramatic? there must have been a reason that mrs kim paired you guys up! just take a deep breath and focus on the bright side” sumi lets you rest your head on her shoulder and you gently nod.

“thanks guys, i’ll let you know how it all goes” you sigh, moving to another topic.

you were seated on the steps out the front of school. students had all dispersed, rushing to get home. you were trying to get in contact with sumi and jisung but your bet was that they had probably caught the last bus. you let out a small sigh, why did your locker have to be so far from your last class?

just as you were about to call your mum to pick you up, you heard someone walk up to you, their figure blocking the ray of sun hitting you.

“hey peaches” jeno greeted, watching as you stood up to face him. he stood on some steps below you, making his face level to yours. he really didn’t want to leave you alone today did he?

“hey jeno” you responded, trying to slyly send a text to your mum.

“why are you here alone?” he questioned, stopping your actions.

“uh my friends caught the last bus without me” you explained, as he just nodded along with your words,

“so what are you going to do now?” you weren’t sure why he was so full of questions, but it did keep you intrigued,

“actually i was going to check out the new cafe in town, wanna come along?” you suggested, watching as he looked at you, confused.

“we can uh start our writing partner thing?” you blurted, now looking at his feet. jeno let out a soft chuckle before pulling you along with him.

“show me the way, peaches” he teased once more as you shrugged his hand off you and continued to walk.

as you both walked side by side, you were discussing the details of your paper.

“so what? i have to rewrite the whole thing?” you softly groaned, arms folded.

“pretty much. here’s a start, what annoys you?” jeno started questioning, leaving you a few moments to think.

“other than my writing partner?” you joked, as jeno rolled his eyes,

“you’re hurting me here” he clutched his chest while laughing. you both reach the cafe, making your way to one of the smaller booths near the back.

“okay to be honest, i don’t really like coffee that much” you admitted,

“why are we even here then?” jeno gave you a puzzled look,

“i don’t know, maybe it will give me some inspiration” you shrugged, jeno just shook his head before heading to the counter to order his own coffee. he spotted a blueberry muffin, opting to buy it incase you were hungry. he made his way back to the table, sliding the plate with the muffin, over to you. you were fixated on your paper, you didn’t notice at first until he let out a small cough.

“how’d you know i liked blueberry muffins?” you smiled, quickly taking a bite,

“i didn’t, i took a guess. seemed like you would like it” he softly smiled before sipping his coffee. you nodded at him before allowing him to read over your paper. he was actually quite helpful to your surprise. he didn’t completely cross out every single line, much like mrs kim. jeno had a way with words, thus making him a valuable partner. you couldn’t wait to work with him again.

[two days later]

you were woken up by the ringing of your phone. you rolled over to answer,

“get up sleepy head, we’re all walking to school today. jisung made us late so we missed the bus” sumi’s voice echoed through your phone. you slowly nodded, knowing she wouldn’t see you. you could hear jisung in the background, trying to defend himself,

“will we even make it in time?” you mutter, hopping out of bed and to your bathroom.

“all depends on you, we’re waiting outside now” sumi chuckled, as you quickly hung up. you rushed over to your window and there they were.

god they’re crazy.

you hurriedly attempted to pack whatever you needed, and changed out of your pyjamas. you opted to skipping breakfast that day, knowing that you could steal one of jisung’s random fruit snacks in his bag.

“finally!! the princess is ready” jisung mocks, as he begins to walk.

“what’s his problem today?” you mumble to sumi, trailing behind the taller boy, as he slipped in his earphones.

“he’s just mad at me because i got mad at him for missing the bus” sumi sighs, linking her arm with yours. sumi and jisung were best friends long before you had met both of them. they pretty much ‘adopted’ you into the group when they saw you sitting alone one day in P.E. they always bickered, so you just assumed this was one of their smaller arguments.

“why did you wake up so late anyway?” she changed the subject.

“parents were fighting again. i couldn’t sleep” you sighed as sumi soothingly pats your back. you often chose not to open up much about your parents, but it always felt nice to just finally let out some frustration. sumi and jisung understood you well, they always comforted you when it just got too much.

you pushed aside the feelings, and tried to continue on with your day.

you walked into school, noticing jeno seated near the steps. part of you wanted to go up and say hello, but you weren’t sure if you should. but it didn’t stop jeno from taking notice. he watched as you walked right past him with sumi linked to your side. jeno wanted to continue your conversations for the assignment, but he didn’t feel comfortable pulling you away from your friends. so he waited until you were alone, which coincidentally happened to be after your history class, which was located right next to his locker. he saw you leaving the classroom before he rushes to you. you weren’t aware he was approaching so you both ended up colliding, your butt falling straight to the ground.

“we have to stop meeting like this, peaches” jeno teases, helping you stand. you glare at him playfully,

“you bumped into me! i know i’m not that clumsy”

“it’s okay, it can be our thing” he bit the inside of his cheek softly as you both began to walk together.

“what? us constantly body slamming into eachother?” you raise an eyebrow, as the boy pouts.

“it doesn’t matter! we just gotta have a thing. after all we are partners” he walked with you until you both reached your locker.

“i don’t see that as an obligation, but also don’t take it as a rejection either. we’ll have a thing soon, we just have to get to know eachother better” you smile, opening up your locker to place you books inside. jeno leans against the wall, eyes fixed on you.

“you move fast, peaches. i like it” he chuckled as you softly hit his shoulder.

“you’re overdoing it, you can buy me another blueberry muffin at the cafe today” you smiled up at him, he couldn’t help but smile back.

“don’t you think you owe me for the muffins?”

“but jeno! that can be our thing” you gave him a small pat on the back before walking off to meet with your friends. jeno was left stunned. why were you able to make him speechless?

luckily, you and jeno were able to be seated at the same table from last time. he bought another blueberry muffin for you, and another coffee for him. this time you split the muffin, offering him the other half. jeno gladly accepted, munching on the delicious treat.

“have you decided how you want to restart your paper?” jeno begins, sipping on his coffee.

“not really, i’m still quite stuck” you sigh, poking the fork at your muffin.

“hmm okay, let’s start small. how about family?” he suggests, causing you to look to him.

“well i live with my parents, and i have an older brother, but he’s overseas studying” you reluctantly told him,

“is it hard? not having your brother around?” jeno continues, intrigued by the dynamics.

“kind of. i just miss him a lot, he calls me often just to check up on me. but it’s not the same as having him in the house, you know?” you look back down to your muffin. jeno can sense you were getting uncomfortable. he opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when you started ranting,

“you know what’s the funniest part? my parents have pretty much forgotten he exists. i’m over here, missing the hell out of him and they just pretend he was never here” your stomach felt uneasy, holding back all the pain you felt for the past few months. jeno gave you a solemn look, unsure of what to say.

“but he’s their child? they can’t just not care for him” the boy across from you looked concerned. you shook your head,

“they love him. i know they do. they’ve just been so caught up in their arguments and constantly working. the stress has taken a toll on them, and unfortunately, me” you let out. you weren’t so sure why you were spilling your entire month’s worth of journal entries to jeno. but you were glad you had someone to listen to you.

“i-i’m sorry for putting this all on you-“ jeno interrupts you,

“you shouldn’t apologise. use this emotion. use it to write your new piece” he encouraged, placing his hand on your forearm. it was just a small gesture, yet it made you feel warm inside.

“i think you’re into something” you cracked him a small smile before hitting down the suggestion.

“see, i’m a great partner” jeno chuckles,

“ehh still debatable” you retort, watching as his smile turns into a pout.

“but in all honestly, whatever happens at this table, stays at this table” jeno comforts, making eye contact with you. you nodded slowly, feeling more comfortable with his presence. he was a good listener, someone who didn’t talk back much. but nonetheless, you made a new friend.

it was the following weekend. you were sitting at your desk, brainstorming ideas for your new piece. you weren’t sure where to start, so you ended up scribbling down random words on a piece of paper to explain how you felt. you rolled your eyes at how hopeless this process was, opting to just clock off for the day. you called sumi, in hopes she would help take your mind off things.

“what’s up?” sumi greets through the phone,

“are you busy? is anything on tonight? i’m trying to get my mind off this stupid paper” you complain, as she giggles in response.

“i think one of jisung’s dance friends is having a party, i can ask him to pick us up?” she offers, as you nod your head.

“see you soon then” you hang up the call, rushing to your closet to throw on a plain white top and some ripped jeans. finally, chucking on a random coat, you made your way down stairs. you caught your dad, sitting alone, watching the television. you felt sorry for him, it seemed like he was doing everything to make things work. you approached him slowly, bidding him a farewell, telling him not to worry about you much. he just nodded, giving you a small wave as you exited the front door. you saw jisung’s car approach your driveway, you quickly settled into the back seat, greeting your friends.

“jisung, important question” sumi starts the conversation, as jisung pulls out of your driveway. the boy just huffs in response,

“is your friend, jaemin, hot?” she starts to giggle as jisung rolls his eyes.

“why are you asking?” he grumbled, as you just sat back to watch the bickering unfold.

“because if he is, i’m gonna go for it” sumi nonchalantly announces, leaving you with your mouth agape.

“don’t even think about it, jaemin is a hardcore player” jisung tries to divert sumi’s interest.

“screw you jisung!” sumi folds her arms, visibly annoyed at the boy’s remarks. you just let out a soft sigh, it was going to be a long night.

as the three of you entered the house, sumi pushed right past jisung, leaving you alone with him. he just looks over at you,

“what’s her problem?” he grunts, dusting off the sleeves of his jacket.

“you were being a bit of the dick to her in the car, maybe you should, i don’t know, be nice to her. she’s your best friend” you shove the clueless boy softly.

“but she keeps trying to talk to all these guys! like they can never treat her well like i-“ jisung stops himself as his eyes widen. you copy his expression.

“park jisung! do you have a crush on sumi?” you tease, poking his cheeks.

“ugh please don’t say anything. i want to get her to like me on her own”

he pouts as you nod. you appreciated how respectful he was.

jisung led you to the kitchen, where a lot of people had gathered surprisingly.

“that’s jaemin over there” jisung points out, strolling over to his friend. you straggle behind, trying not to squish between too many people.

“hey man! glad you could make it” jaemin pulls jisung in for a hug, his eyes now turning to you.

“this is y/n” jisung introduces as you leant to shake jaemin’s hand, but the boy didn’t take the hint, instead pulling you to his side.

“hi there” he smirks, as you just nodded. his attention was yet diverted again,

“jeno!! my boy” jaemin practically yells in your ear, causing you to spring away from

his grasp. you watched as jeno approached the group, greeting jaemin first before giving jisung a small nod. he walks over to you and stands by your side.

“hey peaches” he spoke, leaning down to your ear. you smiled up at him, saying a quick hello. jisung started smirking at the both of you, teasingly raising his eyebrows. you give him a quick death stare before he turns away to find sumi.

throughout the night, you had conversed with many new people, a lot more than you anticipated. you saw jisung and sumi sitting outside, hoping they were resolving whatever disagreements they had been having. you were seated the bottom of jaemin’s staircase, sipping on a glass of water. you were just about ready to leave, feeling tiredness wash over you. until, you heard an all too familiar voice,

“hello again” jeno looks down on you, leaning against the wall. you couldn’t help but smile,

“hey jeno” you dramatically rolled your eyes, he slowly pouted once again.

“did you really have to say my name like that? am i really that repulsive?” he acted fake hurt, followed by a soft chuckle.

“fortunately, you are one of the least repulsive people i’ve encountered tonight” you respond,

“i know i’m just a catch” he attempted to wink, but just ended up crinkling one side of his face. your head fell back in laughter, your hands clapping whilst doing so. jeno found the sight quite amusing. there you were again, doing the tiniest gestures, yet he found them completely and utterly endearing.

“moving on! why are you sitting alone, peaches? where’s your gang at?” he asks, taking a sip from his cup, which you assumed had alcohol in it.

you motioned for him to sit down next to you, in which he gladly complied.

“don’t tell anyone, but i’m really tired and i just want to get out of this party already” you leant close to his ear to whisper.

“yeah me too” he whispered back to your ear, causing both of you to giggle.

“my friends are over there somewhere sorting out their drama” you continued to whisper,

“wait why are we whispering? i can’t hear you too well” jeno pointed out, looking over at you. you paused for a second. it was the first time you had properly seen his features up close. there was no denying he was incredibly handsome. when you looked at him, you saw his glistening eyes, his plump lips and his full cheeks. you weren’t sure why you were only starting to notice this about him. you shook the thoughts out of your head, noticing how he was staring at you, confused.

“u-uh i don’t know actually” you felt a blush creep to your cheers, hoping the dark lighting in the room would hide it. jeno decided to take matters in his own hands, quite literally. he gently latched onto your hand, leading you out of the house and to the front yard. there was a small bench located on jaemin’s porch. jeno waited for you to sit before situating himself next to you, leaving a fair amount of space between you two.

“is this a better place to talk?” he asked, looking over to you. you just nodded in response.

“have you progressed with the paper?” jeno brought up, trying to continue the flow for conversation.

“uh i was trying today. but everything kept getting clogged up in here” you pointed to your head, causing him to give you another solemn look. he really wanted you to do well, and get this assignment done.

after all, that’s what he was meant to be doing.

“don’t be so hard on yourself, it will come to you when it’s ready. i’m here to help, remember?” he comforted, giving you a soft pat on the back. part of you had wished he embraced you, but it was too early in your friendship to initiate any intimacy.

and just like that, you and jeno talked about whatever came to the tops of your heads, for what seemed like hours. you saw sumi and jisung exit the party, relieved to have found you.

“you okay with taking her home?” jisung asked jeno, your eyes immediately flicking to the boy next to you. jeno has situated himself a little closer to you than before, his arm now placed over your shoulders slightly.

“yeah of course” jeno kindly responded.

“don’t try anything! or we are coming for you!” sumi points at jeno in a playful manner before pulling jisung to his car. you wondered what they were going to get up to.

“thanks for driving me” you smiled at jeno, before standing up. he followed your actions, leading you to his car.

“it’s no problem, we just have to get you home safely” you nodded, before pointing out,

“wait did you drink tonight?” you immediately remembered that you’d seen him drink from a few red cups that night.

“no no, i only drink sprite, i swear!” he puts his hands up in defence, you chuckle softly, feeling embarrassed for accusing him.

“ah sorry for accusing you” you apologised while getting into the passenger side.

“it’s fine, i understand that you would have been concerned, but i don’t drink alcohol” he assures you before placing his seatbelt on and starting the car. jeno had a way of speaking that made you feel instantly comfortable. if you had told yourself a year ago that you’d be going home from a random party with a guy you didn’t know that well, you’d probably slap yourself. but something was different about him. he was inviting, intriguing and a pleasure to be around. you didn’t want this night to end.

jaemin’s party had brought both highs and lows for those around you. you and jeno were conversing a lot more often, mainly online and at the cafe. but you had noticed that jisung and sumi were starting to be distant. you didn’t want to pry too much, especially since it was none of your business. they would eventually come to you when they were ready, as you fully believed in that.

[text message]

peaches: jenoooOoo

jenojam: peachessSss

peaches: yeah just wanted to talk, wanna meet at the cafe?

jenojam: yeah okay i’ll race ya

peaches: no fair, you have a car

jenojam: better start running peaches

you rolled your eyes before hurriedly putting on your shoes. you practically ran down the stairs, not noticing your mother waiting at the door.

“and where do you think you’re going?” she sternly questions, you stop in your tracks.

“seeing a friend” you bluntly explained, trying to walk past her.

“which friend?” she continued to interrogate, usually your dad would just send you off and tell you to get home safely, but your mum needed every little detail.

“his name is jeno, he’s from my writing class” you try to explain once again, hoping she’d just take it and leave you alone.

“you’ve never mentioned him before” your mother just didn’t know when to stop asking questions, you eventually opted to opening the front door yourself.

“and you’ve never really been interested in my life before this so let’s both pretend this didn’t happen” with that, you slammed the door a little too harshly for your liking. you took a deep breath before strutting off to the cafe. sometimes you wondered what it would be like if your parents weren’t together. you knew it was such a dark thought, but they weren’t as happy as you had always known them to be. to say you were worried was an understatement. so you went to one of the only people who didn’t make you feel so worried anymore.

you entered the cafe, eyes scanning each table until they landed at the back of jeno’s head. you took a deep breath, preparing yourself to not completely unravel in front of him. jeno had already ordered his usual coffee as well as another blueberry muffin, split in half. you took a seat across from him, stopping his movements.

“finally! thought you got lost or something” he playfully teased, pushing your half of the muffin towards you.

“ooo you’re being all concerned about me now huh?” you took a bite of the muffin as jeno almost choked on his coffee.

“lets not get ahead of ourselves, peaches” he responded, cracking a small smile at you. “you didn’t even thank me for the muffin! i guess our thing is ruined now” he softly pouted, which made you instantly smile, how was he doing that?

“ah i’m so sorry! thank you for the muffin, jeno” you rest your hand over his for barely a second before pulling away. it left the both of you speechless for a moment, until jeno awkwardly coughed, trying to change the subject.

“so um how have you been? did you want to talk about anything in particular?” he started, you were pleased he was able to divert the conversation well.

“um well i’m not giving you a full tmi, but my parents have been arguing quite a lot. it makes it hard for me to concentrate. and my brother has finals at the moment, plus the time zones don’t match up well for us to talk. so i can’t really go to anyone about it. and before you point out jisung and sumi, i think they’re being distant with eachother hence my inevitable distancing from them” you groaned after you finished your rant, putting your head in your hands. jeno didn’t know how to comfort you, or what else to say, as a matter of fact. he’d usually just try and crack a joke with you but it seemed like you weren’t in the mood for one at the moment.

“peaches, stop being hard on yourself okay? these things are out of your control. maybe you should tell atleast one of those people how you truly feel. it will give you closure so you can start to feel a bit better” jeno suggested. you listened along to every word, trying to think of the first person who came to mind.

“that’s good advice. thank you again for always listening to me, i really appreciate it. everything is just all foggy at the moment and i’m having trouble staying focused” you sigh, pulling out your journal where you jotted down ideas for your writing.

“how about this, write a creative piece about a child who is experiencing changes in their life that are out of their control? it’s not too far fetched. it’s relatable and you can really dig deep into your emotions, if you’re comfortable” you looked over at the boy across from you, your eyes softening at his expression. he spoke with such eloquence, his eyes practically smiling at you. you felt a small tear form, running down your cheek. jeno’s face turned into a concerned expression,

“oh i didn’t mean to make you upset, i’m sorry, peaches” he frowned as you shook your head.

“no no, you’ve helped me so much, jeno. i don’t know how i can ever repay you for being such a good partner, and friend” you pout at him. he found it completely adorable that you were considering how he was feeling about your partnership. it made him warm inside to know that you thought about his feelings.

“you can thank me by writing the best paper ever and then i’ll take you to celebrate” he shoots you another assuring smile. all jeno knew at this moment was that he never wanted to see you sad or hurt ever again. as long as he saw you smiling, he too felt like everything would be okay. it was silly to put something such as his happiness, onto you. but jeno didn’t care, there was just something about you, he couldn’t get enough of.

you spent the following weekend writing, feeling inspiration flood over you. jeno’s idea just clicked so well in your head, it was pretty much impossible for anything to stop the flow at the moment. well, there was one thing. the constant bickering from your parents, tonight’s topic, was about your brother, taeyong. you let out a short sigh, stepping away from your laptop. you reached for your phone, swiping the notification from jeno, aside. you let the phone ring, waiting for taeyong to answer. you were about to end it, until your brother’s tired voice echoed through the phone. you could tell he had just woken up,

“what’s up?” he starts, as you hear shuffling around his end.

“is it possible for you to come home, yes or no” you get straight to the point. taeyong is speechless, fully awake now due to your concerned tone.

“you know it’s not possible. i still have another semester here before i graduate” taeyong sighs, sitting up against his headboard. you roll your eyes, frustrated at him,

“that’s what you said during your finals. that’s what you keep saying. i need you here. mum and dad are driving eachother insane and it’s only a matter of time, that i only end up living with one of them” you rant, as taeyong remains silent. jeno has told you to let out how you felt to atleast one person. why not start with your brother?

“calm down okay? mum and dad aren’t going to get a divorce. they love eachother too much. you’re just being angsty” your brother practically scoffs through the phone. you felt even more frustrated that he refused to listen to you.

“just because you got a chance to move away from all this family drama, doesn’t mean you can leave me behind? i’m your sister, taeyong. don’t you get that? you might not see it as a big deal, but this family is falling apart. and you’re not even here to witness it” you let out a final cry, hoping he would finally understand how you feel. but it was just radio silent. your big brother, who had always been there for you as a child, was now off living his so called ‘best life’, leaving you to deal with everything alone. you didn’t want to converse with him anymore. you hung up the call, about to toss it to the side, before you got a facetime call from jeno. you felt some tears that were stained on your cheeks, quickly wiping them away before answering his call.

“hey there you are! i was just checking up, because mrs kim emailed me, saying the assignment has to be handed in my friday- wait were you crying?” jeno immediately halts himself. you just shake your head, wanting to deny the fact that you were. jeno frowned, knowing you were lying.

“don’t lie to me, peaches” he sighs as you end up nodding. jeno doesn’t tell you stop crying or pry to know why you were upset. he just simply asks,

“do you feel like talking about it?”

you weren’t sure how to answer. on one hand you would have loved to let it all out to him, but on the other hand, you didn’t want to burden him with your never-ending drama. you felt bad for him, actually. that he had to sit and watch you suffer in silence. but that’s who jeno was. he always put others before himself. he cared about you like no other person he had met at the school. you were a light in his life that he never wanted to stop shining. he wanted to protect you, and have you let him in. but he knew it took patience and time for you to fully emerge yourself into being more than friends, and he respected that.

“i don’t really want to talk about it. and i’ll have the piece done by friday, it’s okay” you assure him, watching as he just bites the bottom of his lip.

“cafe after school tomorrow?” he offers, trying to change the topic. you give him a small smile before nodding,

“of course”

that’s the end of part one!! i’ll be uploading part 2 as soon as i can! please enjoy this for now 🥺 i’m really proud of it!!

#nct #nct imagine #nct dream #nct dream imagine #nct fluff #nct angst #nct fic #nct jeno #jeno imagine #jeno fluff #jisungsmochi masterlist #jisungsmochiimagines

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himitsu-luna · 3 years

Text

It's time to wake up

♪~ Now playing – "Beautiful Goodbye", by Chen~♪

Pairing: Taeil x reader

Genre: Angst / College AU

Theme: Break up

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How long have you been together? Four years? "Yes, four years". This thought suddenly popped up in your head this afternoon, and refused to go away since then. It's already night time, and you're laying down on your cozy bed, looking at the white plain ceiling, that for some unknown reason is particularly interesting today. "Four years", you repeat for the 100th time, closing your eyes.

"Why does it feel so odd?"

You and Taeil met in both of your first year of college. He was friends with your friends, and as soon as you laid your eyes on each other, you felt some sort of connection. You've never believed in butterflies living in your stomach, but they proved their existence, and showed you that they knew how to make some noise.

Everyday at lunch time, you gathered together with your group of friends, and your eyes were always looking for a glimpse of that person who made your heart curious.

You started to see each other more, and in every single of your encounters, that eagerness to be physically and emotionally closer became bigger and bigger. At a certain undertemined point, you already loved each other, in the most pure meaning of the word.

Half a year later, when both of you were a little bit too drunk and a little bit too red during a hang out with your squad, your secret feelings surfaced in the form of a playful kiss, in a dark corner of your friend’s apartment.

You have been in a relationship since then, and since then you feel like you are in a too vivid happy dream.

But why you're feeling so lonely?

Now your attention is on a picture you keep on the desk beside your bed. It's a photo of Taeil and you, smiling together, on a trip you took to the beach at your first year anniversary.

“We were such a perfect couple”, you whisper to yourself.

You "were"? This made your heart ache. “We ARE!”, you correct yourself quickly, startled with the sentence that has just escaped through your lips.

He was now at Japan, as an exchange student. It has been three months you're having this long distance relationship. Three months of you feeling this strange hollow in your chest.

Just three months... Are you sure of this?

You are now contemplating a spider, weaving its web in a spot of your book shelf. "It's working so hard. It just want to trap its food, but I think I'll need to tear down this later", you think randomly.

Suddenly you hear your phone ringing. It’s him. Your heart skips a beat. He wants to have a video call? Well, thats unusual. He never has the time. But you are happy and you answer the call with a little flame of hope warming your chest.

You chat a bit, but you can see he is so far away, and his smiles don't seem natural. After a while, he drops on you that infamous cliche phrase you've always feared to death: "We need to talk". You now feel numb and can't breath properly, like you're immersed and sinking slowly in a sea of despair.

He is breaking up with you. He is saying he can't say "I love you" to you anymore. He is saying it's unfair to you. He is saying you should stop here while you still have this beautiful affection for each other. Stop before things become too ugly and you two regret having met. And tears, a lot of them, are falling down through his sharp cheeks.

But the curious thing is: you can't cry. He is crying in front of you, but your own tears seem to be trapped inside of your blank eyes staring at the cellphone screen.

And that's because you already saw this coming.

So this is the weird feeling that has been bothering you for so long. You knew it.You knew it all along.

You felt it when he was too busy to talk to you. When he started to spend a lot more time with his friends than with you, by his own choice. When his touches were not the same anymore. When his little pecks at your cheeks to wake you up became inexistent. When his words became vague and distant. When the little things you had in commom became too commom and were no longer special. When you acted more like friends than like lovers. When his “I love you” before sleeping sounded guilty and empty. When you felt his love for you vanishing day by day, until it was completely gone. But you just decided to ignore all of this. You didn't want to be dramatic. Maybe you were overthinking.

You wish you were.

-"Oh!" - you finally say, soulless, after an agonizing moment of silence that felt like an eternity.

You ask why and he explains his reasons, but his words cant reach your brain. You feel like a fool, but you can't stand seeing him crying. You dont hate him. You will never be able to hate him. You know, and this is what hurts the most, that you still love him deeply and sincerely, like it was your first day together. And then you catch yourself unciousciously forcing a little smile, saying with all the strenght you could gather - "Its ok". Everything your stupid brain makes your trembling mouth say is “Thank you. Thank you for being with me until now. Thank you for loving me. I was truly happy, so thank you. I hope you find a better someone, that can make you feel like staying, and can give you twice of the happiness you gave me. Thank you.”

You just stared at each other, and for a split of second you coud see in his eyes his caring and loving old self. He still adored you after all, but just not in the same way, and not in the same meaning as before. Neither of you want to end the call. This is your last moment. Your last memory. You stay like this, until your internet connection dies, and you feel like dying with it. Your eyes are now wide open, and you desperately try to resume the call with your shaking hands. You try so many times. So many times you lost the count. All you can see at your phone screen now is all of your missed attempts, and that familiar face in his profile picture smiling at you.

When you finally gave up, the understanding and the meaning of everything that just happened hit you like a sharp blade into your already bleeding heart. You'll never see him again. You'll never touch him again. You could not even cry properly and tell him everything you wanted. You didn't even had the chance to hug and kiss him one last time. You lost your entire universe in a matter of minutes. Your whole story together is now going through your mind like a movie, and here you are, alone, shedding that tears that have been actually willing to be spilled for a long time now. Your heart hurts. And it hurts so so much.

The dream is over now. It's time to wake up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#nct 127 #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct blurbs #nct imagines #Taeil #moon taeil

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alkhale · 4 years

Text

Memos Soulmate AU Snippet

Hi!I hope that you are well and that you do not overwork yourself:). If its ok can you write a soulmate au with Kid x Hoku or Law x Hoku or Kid x Hoku X Law. I saw your headcanon for this Au and I love it do much that I cant get it out of my head.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

Law stopped, gazing at the files in his hands. The sleek metal of his working table caught the bare glint of light from the dull light illuminating the study room. Piles of new notes were underway on the possible usage of Pokian blood and the properties within it that allowed for the uses it could take. A separate file was tucked beneath these regarding the lore of their multiple lives.

He looked up, lines tugging under his eyes from more late nights and early mornings. Hoku was sprawled out on the stiff, plain couch across the office he kept when he needed a break himself. She didn’t look at him, white hair sprawled over the back of the armrest behind her while her feet were kicked up on the other one. In her hands was one of his medical textbooks—a hefty one that covered different ways water could enter the lungs or how people could perish from essentially drowning, the later half was death due to blunt enforced trauma.

Basically a book on how one could die.

She’s obviously bored. Otherwise she’d be off terrorizing some other part of his submarine, intentional or not. Umi had already begged him to keep her out of the boiler room until they readjusted the pipes Hoku’s head had slammed into when she tripped down the ladder.

Law’s fingers flexed unconsciously at the thought. The dull memory of cigarette smoke touched behind his eyes. The memory of the gray clouds dispersing.

“If it’s personal though that’s fine,” Hoku added, not even hiding her disappoint if that was the case. Law scoffed across the room. “I get that. I won’t pry.”

Law set his pen down, folding his fingers and holding them under his chin as he eyed her, his own eyes narrowed. He had half a mind to kick her off the couch or out of this study. Lately she’d been growing too comfortable on his submarine anyway, it’d be a good reminder for her.

“Why so curious?” Law said instead, even though he meant to tell her to leave so he could finish this. It’s about you, anyway, stop getting in my way. Why else was he completing these files? Hoku still didn’t look at him and Law leaned his head onto his knuckles, adding boredly, “Already want to know more?”

“Hah, I guess,” Hoku sounded amused by his bored confidence. She lowered the book to the bottom half of her face, brows scrunched in thought at the ceiling.

Law forced the words itching at the back of his throat to disappear. He refused to let his eyes scour over any other part of her body like they’d already done multiple times, again and again without meaning too, to his abhorrent annoyance. Instinctually searching the bare plains of tanned skin, from her shoulders to her stomach to her legs to even the tips of her finger where the smallest sign might be hiding.

The swatch of color on the side of his hip warmed. He curled his fingers harder into his fist.

“On Artopoki when you found your… soulmate,” Hoku said. “You’d change the signature of your mark to be a blend of yours and theirs.” She dragged a finger across the smeared half-heart arched around her eye. “Complete it, I guess?”

Law had already seen the tattoos. He’d spent enough time looking at the marks painted in blood ink, etched into her skin like they’d belonged there from the beginning. The same way everyone else’s soulmarks looked. It wasn’t hard to realize they weren’t what he was looking for.

“...I just wanted to see it a bit,” Hoku said finally, turning to look at him. Law met those eyes, half-hidden like the ocean and it’s murky depths. “Your mark—the kind of thing it’d look like, you know? The person who’s supposed to complete someone like you.”

What does your other half look like?

Law’s expression was cool, but the mark on the side of his left hip started to burn, as though branded into his skin.

Hoku grinned at him, waggling her brows. “Not a bad deal, right? You’d get to see mine.”

Law’s fingers pressed into his palm. His fingernails started to bite into his skin.

His lips shifted.

“Hahaha, sike!” Hoku abruptly sat up, the book toppling off her chest and to the ground. Law stiffened, watching her with narrowed eyes as she hastily grabbed the book off the floor and put it back into his shelf, standing up. “I lied again—you don’t have to show me yours. I don’t even have one to show you, so it’d be scamming you.”

The nervousness in her back came off in waves. Law watched from behind his desk, feeling the itch in his muscles increase while something twisted in the pit of his stomach at her words. It was the same thing—she always kept it vague, whether she had one or not. Law wanted to be more inclined to believe she did. Everyone did. It didn’t make any sense. Not a single inch. Hoku just liked to play these stupid mind games and fool around and—

And the truth was, Hoku didn’t have a mark, did she?

“I’m gonna go help Bepo,” Hoku said hurriedly, awkwardly, avoiding his piercing gaze. “Uh, good luck with your stuff—bye.”

And without even a glance back at him, Hoku was gone, sweeping out of his office. Law forced himself to stay still in his chair, indifferent and uncaring.

The ink swatch of black burned against his skin like coal, the splattering of white gold stars searing like embers across his side.

#memos #memos au #i hope u dont mind i chose law #cause he doesnt get screentime for some time hahaha #soulmate au #one piece soulmate au #law #trafalgar law #hoku #HoLa #ko-fi requests

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

Text

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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