#But in the end even if I didn't feel ugly as fuck nothing would be better anyway because deep down I'm the problem
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Today I yet again feel guilty because...
I use a walker.
Why do I use a walker? Because my joints are too fucking loose and my muscles are in (more or less) constant pain, plus my balance is... bad.
This was brought on by yet another Dr just... writing down that I use a rollator, but walk fine from the chair to examination table and get on it just fine.
Like ??? Cool? I don't use it for short distances; I use it for long distances where I would have needed to plan my trip according to where I can sit (rest), and getting groceries home is a pain in the a... without it.
But also another Dr mentioned how I need very little help now despite having "people" coming over twice a week to help me.
My apartment was chosen specifically so I would be able to upkeep my current standard of living??? That's why we do so little???
And... I asked my social worker if it was possible to get an allowance for a (bloody expensive) 400e rollator, which I would pay atleast half of. But now I've been reading about rollators and how I should get evaluated by a doctor or a mobility aid specialized physiotherapist, and I'm feeling guilty and like I need to jump through all these damn hoops to feel like I deserve it? Although I need it? Although my life would be multiple times more difficult without it? Although it took me literal years to gather the courage to even try using one and my previous GP's assessment (didn't get the paper for it & I should've while I still had her) consisted of "does it help you?" And my answer was just "yes".
Why do I need another Dr or a physiotherapist to tell me I need or do not need a walker when I'm the one living in my body every fucking day, and can Dr's fucking stop commenting on it if they're not gonna HELP??
I already have to talk myself into using it when I leave my apartment for longer walks because I'm 35, a relatively young person using a mobility aid! And an ugly, basic hospital loan walker at that, and I'm already ashamed of it. Should I rather be in pain, fatigued, and constantly having to plan a simple trip outside, or end up passing up ANY longer outings beyond my apartment building's trash cans because I'm in too much pain or too damn tired?
I rather walk with my head low and ashamed than stay stuck at home because me getting somewhere requires so much planning and for everything to be absolutely correct if I only use a cane. (Do the Dr's see THAT? No. No, they comment on what they see in their office and nothing else.)
I can do a LOT, and I can switch between cane and a walker. I can spend long times (ha! 2hrs max) "outside" with the walker, and I can get that fucking thing over literal physical obstacles that a lot of walker users can't...
I'm still in pain; I'm just doing shit I should NOT be doing (for my safety) and yeah, I can walk from a damn chair to an exam table fine, but put me on an uneven ground and I will trip over something soon enough (have done that, consistently).
I am afraid, honestly, that a Dr or a physiotherapist will do their tests, look at me and just decide that no, I infact do not need a walker. (Even the thought makes me cry because... it helps. No matter what some people comment: it helps. Not mentally or emotionally, but actually physically helping me to get around.)
#diary entry#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#disabled person#being poor#disability#mobility aid#rollator#walker
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9:18 PM — s. geto ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊
content: fluff, friends to lovers, sort of self-ship coded, reader dates (shitty) men
pairing: suguru geto x gn! reader
a/n: got suguru on da brain rn. my first work for him! hello geto nation how we doin?? also i had to fight my autocorrect bc it kept changing geto to ghetto 😔
“Surely, you must lack respect for yourself.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me," your best friend scoffs.
It's not uncommon for you to end up at Suguru's doorstep, teary-eyed and sputtering after another failed attempt at romance. But he's hardly ever this mean.
"What's so great about these guys? Tell me."
"They're...nice."
He sighs out your name in exasperation. He never uses that tone on you, ever. "You're literally miles out of their league. And they can't even afford to pay for both of your meals. How many times have you had to pick up the check for you and your date?”
You open your mouth to retort but wisely keep it shut. Suguru merely raises an eyebrow.
"Exactly. How can someone be ugly and broke? Then still have the audacity to reject you? Pick a struggle."
"Well excuse me, mister 'I don't need dating apps because everyone just comes to me.' Not everyone is as fortunate as you are when it comes to romantic prospects."
You're starting to question why you even came here in the first place. Indignation fills you as you slump down on Geto's couch, utterly defeated.
He sits down next to you, placing a gentle hand on your knee with an even gentler look in his eyes. Your best friend's always been so kind, so thoughtful. That, paired with the fact that he's pretty easy on the eyes makes it easy to understand why he has suitors flocking from left and right.
"Hey," he calls out, giving your knee a light squeeze. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"'s fine."
"No, it's not. It was insensitive of me.”
You know what else isn't fine? Geto wants to ask. The fact that you don't know what kind of guy you deserve. He wills himself to keep quiet, for both of your sakes.
"Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something. That you have some karmic lessons you need to learn and all that. You say that all the time."
"I don't know. Maybe...maybe love just isn't in the cards for me, Suguru. I mean, what else could all of this mean?"
You sniffle, and Suguru can feel his heart break into a million little pieces. He wants nothing more than to scoop up the shards and present them to you, in hopes that you can somehow press them back together to make it whole again. The same way you always come running back to him, the same way you trust him to mend your own heart time after time with gentle praise and reassurance.
"Maybe every heartbreak is just bringing you closer to 'the one,’" he offers, the hand that was previously on your knee now rubbing comforting circles on your back.
"Do you honestly believe in that shit, Suguru?" He doesn't blame you for being so cynical. He would be too, he thinks.
"I do," he professes without missing a single beat.��
"How?" Not why, but how? How could he possibly understand? How would he know if fate's thrown his so-called one and only his way?
"Because I've felt it," he hums.
“You… have?” You’re not sure why you feel so disappointed all of a sudden. Why should you care if your best friend’s in love with someone?
“Why do you feel the need to look so far for love?” He counters.
“I…”
“Why don’t you try looking at what’s right in front of you for a change?”
That’s about as far as Suguru’s willing to lay it out for you— he hopes you can read in between the lines. Call it insurance— a way for him to spare his own feelings in case you decide he’s unworthy of your affection and toss him to the side of the road.
“Suguru, I’m not sure I understand what you’re trying to say…”
Yes, you do. Suguru wants to say. Just think a little harder.
There’s a pregnant pause.
When he realizes that you’re unwilling to take another step forward, he figures he needs to just take the leap. Fuck the insurance. He needs to do as he says and prove to you that the trail of heartbreak behind you is all going to be worth it. Because you have him. Suguru can only hope that his love will be more than enough to heal you from a lifetime's worth of pain.
“Give me a chance,” he whispers, his hands enveloping yours as he brings them up to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to your knuckles. “Please. I’ll show you how you deserve to be treated, how you deserve to be loved.”
You gasp, unsure how to receive such a confession— especially one from Suguru, nonetheless. The two of you stay frozen for what seems like an eternity. You— afraid, inexperienced with being on the receiving end of anything remotely romantic. Suguru— tense, confession lying heavy in the room. It weighs down his soul with each passing moment he’s not yours.
“Please,” he pleads, feeling the way your hands tremble in his. Or was it the other way around?
Fear begins to gnaw at Suguru’s insides, thoughts of losing you plaguing his mind as he wills himself to stay calm. He wants nothing more than to shrink into himself— until he hears you speak, tone light and teasing.
“Promise you won’t make me pay for our dinner on our first date?”
Suguru allows himself to let out a genuine chuckle, leaning forward to kiss your forehead.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
#suguru at some point probably: alexa play you belong with me (taylor's version)#originally written for g*jo but suguru deserves to be in the spotlight too#kat's writing#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#geto x reader#getou x reader#getou x you#geto x you#suguru x reader#suguru geto x reader#suguru fluff#geto fluff#suguru geto fluff
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Object of Desire (1/3)
[ dark • Aemond x Arryn • widow female ]
[ warnings: dubcon, hate sex, sex content, smut, angst, domination, violence, swearing, humiliation, hard chauvinism ]
[ description: Aemond is forced to marry a widow from House Arryn as part of the alliance and support of his brother in the war against the Black faction. This story is an Anon Request, sorry it took me so long. I know anon wanted it to be a softer and sweeter story, but it didn't fit Aemond's character and what I think would be going on in his head. The female character has a specific eye and hair color. Lots of humiliation, violence and chauvinism. ]
Part 2 − Object of Despair
Part 3 − Object of Delight
Epilogue
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
My other works: Masterlist
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He thought the greatest humiliation of his life was behind him when he lost an eye, when his brother and nephews gave him a pig instead of a dragon. He thought that now that he was a man, rider of the greatest dragon walking the earth, he would finally get everything he deserved − a wife from a dignified, respected House, and with her an offspring, his inheritance, an extension of his lineage.
He could not hide his expression of disappointment, disgust and bitterness when his mother informed him that instead of one of Lord Baratheon's daughters he would be marrying Lord Arryn's niece − his grandfather, intent on strengthening his brother's position on the throne felt that depriving Rheanyra of the support of the Eyrie, her mother's kin, would greatly weaken her in the ongoing war.
He would have endured this change without a word were it not for one thing.
The woman was a fucking widow.
Already intimate with another man who had taken her maidenhood, she was worn, marked, like an overbitten apple that now someone had to eat to the end to keep it from rotting.
He imagined in the back of his mind how the court, which both feared and mocked him, would spread rumours that the One-Eyed Prince was not only crippled but must marry a woman devoid of value and her greatest virtue, for no other lady would agree to be his wife.
However, he knew what duty was and intended to fulfil it.
Despite his mother's suggestion, he did not want to see her before the nuptial day. He felt that he did not want to further exacerbate her bad enough appearance in his eyes; he feared that she was not only worthless but plain ugly, her mind empty and shallow.
Although the nuptials were to take place in the noble family, knowing that this would not be her first wedding it was decided that the whole ceremony would be modest, only the most loyal lords and relatives who supported their cause were invited.
Looking at his reflection in the mirror in shame and disgust, at his emerald tunic adorned with golden threads swirling in embroidery reminiscent of dragon's heads, he thought it seemed too refined for such an occasion, for such a woman who could offer him nothing.
He knew that there was no fault of hers in her husband's sudden passing from this world, that it was pure politics, but he could not help thinking that it would have been better if she had died with him.
Waiting for her in the Great Sept, he felt nothing − he had not even bestowed a single glance on her when he heard the sound of trumpets, indicating that she and her father had entered the temple and were heading towards him.
As he felt her presence beside him he immediately noticed out of the corner of his eye that she was dressed in a blue gown, flowers of the same colour in her hair − curiosity forced him to at least glance at her and he swallowed loudly as his gaze met her violet eyes.
The colour of the Targaryens.
He froze, feeling his heart suddenly begin to beat faster, unable to look away from her irises, from her long, dark lashes and eyebrows surrounding her eyes like a sky surrounding the sun − unintentionally his gaze studied quickly her entire silhouette and face.
He swallowed with difficulty, turning his head away, realising that her figure was pleasingly girlish, she was young, too young in his eyes to be a widow − her dark hair was tied back, myosotis tucked into her curls at the sides of her head, her gown made of some thin, smooth, shiny material shimmering blue and purple at the same time.
He couldn't focus on what the Septon was saying; he only glanced at her again when Daeron handed him the cloak with which he was to cover her − her gaze fixed on him, her eyebrows arched in sorrow as if she was in pain, her eyes gleaming, slightly reddened, as if she was barely holding back tears.
He felt like asking if she was so disgusted with him, but no sound came out of his mouth.
With a stony face expressing indifference, he threw his cloak embroidered with a three-headed red dragon over her back and then took her hand in his, small and surprisingly smooth.
She didn't look at him when, in a trembling, soft voice, she repeated the words of her vows with him. He tried to remember her doing it for the second time in her life, that she was someone else's, warming someone else's bed, but he couldn't.
She seemed so innocent.
They hadn't exchanged a word during the wedding feast; he watched from the corner of his eye her demeanour, her face − she seemed to him absent, sad, ashamed.
He thought with a squeeze in his throat, filled with jealousy and envy, that she was a beautiful young woman, and someone had her before him.
He took a loud, impatient sip of wine from his cup, its tart, slightly sweet aftertaste spilling over his tongue, dulling his mind.
He felt like his head was going to burst.
They both tried to put it off for as long as they could, however, eventually his mother suggested that his spouse was surely tired and should retire to bed.
He pressed his lips together at her words, rising silently, looking at this strange, frightened girl out of the corner of his eye, her face turned towards him, her eyes open wide in terror.
"Come, wife." He hummed coldly, without emotion and heard her swallow hard − she followed him quietly as he left the hall, heading down the dark torch-lit corridors to his chamber.
He watched indifferently as her servants helped her undress from her beautiful gown, slowly untangling the curls of her hair, one of them wanted to remove the flowers from them, but he protested.
"No. The flowers are to stay. Let at least some semblance of innocence and purity remain." He sneered, saw that the corners of her mouth twitched, her eyebrows arched in pained humiliation.
He cocked his head, intrigued that she endured his words and what was happening with such humility.
He thought that if she behaved like this, perhaps he would take pity on her and actually put his child inside her, so that she could somehow regain her dignity, to be the mother of his heir.
"That's enough." He said at last, when she was left only in her nightgown, from under which he could see the outline of the pleasing shapes of her womanly body, waiting patiently until they were left alone.
She was looking somewhere far away, sad, tired, humiliated, her face, although pale, as if filled with mourning, was smooth and pleasant, the shade of her eyes seemed to him more blue in the firelight.
Proof that they shared ancestors, a common heritage.
For some reason he felt some kind of affection for her at the thought.
He got up from his seat with a loud creak of wood, walking with a slow, lazy step towards her − he saw that she twitched but did not look at him, her lips parted slightly in an accelerated breath, betraying her nervousness.
He walked around her, looking at her as if she were an object, assessing her figure, the shade of her hair, the shape of her face from every angle. She swallowed quietly and lifted her chin, looking at him with some kind of challenge, a decision that she would accept what was about to happen and give him no reason to mock her.
He hummed at the thought, stepping behind her, feeling her flinch all over as she felt his large hands touch her waist and then slide lower, to her womb − he felt surprised, licking his lips with his tongue, that his manhood swelled hard in his breeches when, in some sudden, involuntary reflex, her small hands grabbed his wrists, yet not stopping his movements, just trying to maintain some semblance of control over what was happening.
She let the air out of her lungs nervously, closing her eyes for a moment as his nose sank into her sweet-smelling, smooth hair, his hands stroking her lower abdomen trailing over it in tender, slow movements as if he imagined she was already carrying his child, his reason for being proud and pleased with her.
"This poor man, whose name I can't even remember, died without an heir. Why?" He whispered in her ear, a note of menace in his voice, his fingers digging into the fabric of her nightgown and her stomach, forcing her to take a step back, bumping into his throbbing manhood pushing against her buttocks. He heard her gasp softly, swallowing loudly, her body quivering in his embrace.
"The will of the Gods." She replied softly, her voice melodious, warm, pleasant to his ear. He hummed again, acknowledging her answer, his hands again beginning to stroke her womb in an unhurried, tender gesture.
"Why would I need a wife who won't give me an inheritance? Hm?" He asked in a tone as if he was curious and intrigued − he felt her whole body tense up in fear knowing that he was mocking her.
She drew in air loudly, suddenly tightening her fingers on his arm as his hand slid lower, between her thighs, the tips of his fingers began to brush her there with calm, steady strokes.
His free hand rose higher, to her neck, tightening around it warningly when he felt her buttocks begin to rub against his length, feeling a pleasant wave of heat surge through his spine and lower abdomen. He looked down at his fingers between her thighs, even through the material feeling the moisture leaking through it.
"A wife is a gift. Like a sword, a book or a horse." She cooed softly, responding with a rocking of her hips to the touch of his fingers. He involuntarily chuckled at her words, charmed that she understood exactly his approach, that her mind was not obscured by bottomless female fantasies, but stood in reality.
"Why would I need a chipped sword, an empty book, or a blind horse?" He asked lowly, his hand from her neck moved higher − his fingers cupped her cheeks, forcing her to turn her head towards him, to look at him, her violet eyes misty, bright, beautiful.
She smiled and giggled softly, startling him completely, bringing him out of his thoughts.
"It's amusing to hear you speak about blindness, husband. I hope the lack of your eye doesn't bother you anymore." She whispered with a satisfaction that made him snort in fury − she squealed quietly and closed her eyes as his fingers dug into her cheeks and shook her, as if he wanted her to come to her senses and remember who she was standing in front of.
"You are nothing, whore. Do you understand? Nothing. A worn-out cup to be filled with seed. I don't have an eye, but I do have a fucking dignity that my mother deprived me of by forcing me to marry a creature like you." He hissed, shaking her head violently once in a while, wanting it to get into her little empty head what he had just said.
She looked at him with hatred, her gaze seeming darker, more dangerous to him, her tongue hitting her palate with a quiet click of her saliva as she whispered a single word in his direction.
"Pathetic."
He didn't even know when his hand tightened in her hair, slamming her head against the table that stood in front of them forcing her to lean forward with a violent gesture − she squirmed loudly and cried out, clenching her fingers on the tabletop as she tried to catch her balance − he kicked her ankle with his foot forcing her to spread her thighs wider.
"You like it rough, hm? You find yourself better at being a whore than a wife? Very well then." He growled, his free hand undoing the buckles of his tunic, untying his breeches quickly, releasing his throbbing erection, giving it a few sure squeezes at the base, for some reason what was happening, their quick, rapturous breaths aroused him even more.
"Fucking male pride. Take what you want, you won't break me." She hissed with such hateful envy that he chuckled out loud, somehow impressed by how brazen she was.
"There's a little dragon burning inside you, isn't it? We shall see. I'm a man full of patience." He sneered, lifting her nightgown up in an impatient motion, exposing what was between her thighs, her rosy, puffy folds glistening with her moisture.
She pressed her lips together, struggling to hold back the sound of discomfort as he pushed against her, forcing the fat, pink head of his cock between her tight walls. He sighed heavily, feeling how wonderfully she clenched around him on all sides, hot and surprisingly soft.
"− fuck −" He gasped out, spreading her thighs wider with his leg − she cried out loudly as he sank all the way into her with one sure thrust, her fleshy muscles throbbing againt him in panic.
They both began panting loudly as, in some subconscious, natural reflex, he began to pound into her with the impatient, aggressive stabs of his hips.
"− fucking whore −" He growled angrily, clamping his hand painfully tight on her hair, her mouth parted wide in a helpless moan as he suddenly quickened his pace, looking down, feeling a wonderful thrill of elation at the sight of his manhood opening her slick folds wide again and again with deep, brutal thrusts of his hips.
"− bastard −" She cried out, responding however to the pushes of his hips with a fierceness from which his voice stuck in his throat. He was no longer sure, groaning low with pleasure, feeling the way her walls squeezed him wonderfully, sucking him inside, whether what they were saying was true or just a test of strength and dominance, an attempt to establish who would have the last word.
"− shut the fuck up − to think you still have the strength to babble − shall I put it in your mouth so you'll finally be quiet? −" He snorted through clenched teeth, gripping his free hand over the soft, smooth skin of her firm buttocks, slamming into her like mad.
It seemed to him that they were both moaning and panting too loudly, as if they were in some kind of frenzy, his thighs slapping against her bare skin with a sticky smack again and again, barely sliding out of her.
"− fuck − o-oh fuck, stop −" He gasped out as he felt her muscles suddenly clench greedily against his manhood at his words, intensifying his sensations. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes as he heard sweet, loud moans of fulfillment begin to erupt from her throat, her body trembling all over − she whimpered when he didn't slow down, chasing his own fulfilment.
"− I know − fuck, just a moment longer − shhh −" He hushed her and groaned low, sighing in relief when he felt that wonderful, relaxing feeling, bliss in his mind and whole body, delight as his seed spilled deep inside her, right where it belonged.
His hips rocked inside her a moment longer with her mumble of displeasure, her eyes closed, her breathing ragged, her fingers trailing over the table top as if she couldn't calm down.
"− it's alright − easy − it's alright −" He whispered, panting heavily, stroking her soft hair with slow, tender gesture, her eyebrows arched in pain as she wept loudly, tears one after another began to run down her face.
He wasn't sure if she was crying from relief that she had it behind her or from grief that she had to go through this again.
"− I know − I know −" He hummed, running his fingers over her smooth, dark curls, for some reason feeling the need to reassure her, fulfilled and content after what had happened between them, his half-soft manhood still twitching deep inside her, all slick from their shared moisture.
"− I don't blame you, wife − that man was weak, as was his seed − you will soon bear me a son −"
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Aemond Taglist:
(bold means I couldn't tag you)
@notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar
#aemond fic#aemond fanfiction#aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#ewan mitchell#ewan mitchell fanfic#dark aemond#dark aemond targaryen#dark aemond smut#dark aemond angst#aemond smut#aemond#prince aemond#prince aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#aemond targaryen x oc#aemond x oc#aemond x female#aemond x fem!oc#aemond x original character#aemond x original female character#aemond targaryen smut#aemond kinslayer#aemond the kinslayer#aemond angst#aemond targaryen angst#hotd angst#hotd smut#targaryen smut#aemond fanfic
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The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known || Hazbin Tickle Fic ||
A/N: this entire fic was inspired by that one scene where Al threatens Husk in ep 5. it broke my heart to see him so utterly petrified so I wrote this as a hurt/comfort for myself
Warnings: mentions of Alastor's control over Husk, slight NSFW language but it's not actually sexual I just didn't have any synonyms for what I meant lol
Word count: 2,466
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When you're an Overlord of Hell, you tend to get pretty comfortable with staying in control.
Because one wrong move can mean the end of the line.
Husk knew that better than most.
And even now, after all that power of his was lost, he still found himself more suited to calling the shots in whatever situation he found himself in. It was just easier that way. If he could remain on top of things, then nothing would go wrong. Mostly.
That feeling of security never lasted long, though, because sooner or later, he was reminded of the terrible choice he made long ago. That he gave away his autonomy to the most psychotic demon in hell.
The way he spoke to him. Like he was so small. And insignificant. Like he existed purely for the bastard's own amusement and nothing else. Any input given was condescended to, patronized, and dehumanized. It formed an ugly little pit in Husk's chest. How little control he had once Alastor stepped into the room. It scared him, in a way that so few things did.
At least he had someone else to talk to who knew how he felt.
Speaking of whom, Angel Dust strutted into the bedroom, sporting a fluffy silk robe.
"Hope I didn't make you wait too long~" he whined seductively.
"Not long at all," the other purred.
The two settled down together in bed, soaking in each other's embrace.
Tonight was all about them, huddled together in hell's moonlight.
Husk remained still as Angel shifted downward until his head fit under Husk's chin, knowing just where to go.
He loved to be pampered, that much was obvious.
It was peaceful for some time before Angel's eyes suddenly blinked open.
"Hey. How come you never want a turn at being the little spoon? I'm not unreasonable, I'm sure we could share," he said coyly.
Husk didn't quite know what to say to that. It wasn't something that needed to be spoken in words. Husk dominated, Angel submitted (in more ways than one). It seemed almost absurd to suggest that Husk would be the one being given affection.
"Nah, I'm good. You look pretty comfy down there, anyway."
Angel, however, wasn't satisfied with that answer. He pulled himself back to get a good look at the cat's face, cocking his own head curiously. Who wouldn't want to be on the receiving end? Even once? It couldn't be understated how warm and protected one could feel in the arms of another. And Husk didn't want that? Did he feel pressured to say that because he knew Angel liked to take that spot?
"Really? You THAT much of a top that you can't play second fiddle once?" said Angel.
"I'm just not a big... "softy-cuddles" kinda guy, as if you already couldn't tell," Husk admitted, gesturing to his overall gruff demeanor.
Angel studied his face.
"Not buying that for a second," he said, punctuating each word with a poke to the chest. "Come on, you're missing out!"
"That's sweet, babe, but I'm-"
"Just five minutes?" Angel pleaded, holding five fingers up in front of him, "Five minutes of me cuddling you for a change. If you decide you hate it, I won't bring it up again. I just... you're always taking care o' me. I want to give some of that back to you, ya'know? You deserve it."
Fuck.
How was he supposed to say no to those puppy eyes?
Besides, it couldn't hurt... right?
"Fine," Husk relented.
"Yay!" His boyfriend cheered.
They rearranged their positions; Husk now farther down the length of the bed and Angel wrapping all three pairs of arms around him like a furry burrito. His knees and head also tucked themselves inward to cradle the cat properly.
It still made Husk a little tense, letting someone handle him so willfully, but the touch was too nice to deny for very long. Thoughts of safety oozed into his brain as his body relaxed against the chest behind him.
"See? Now isn't this nice?" said Angel softly, barely above a whisper, "For a man who supposedly doesn't little-spoon, you've got the moves down pat."
"I'm not making any moves," Husk mumbled, smiling loudly in his voice.
"Well, you're relaxed, aren't ya?"
In a way.
Angel peered down at the bundle of fuzz, taking in how much shorter he was in comparison.
"Awww! I never noticed how cute you were from up here." His hand began petting the top of the kitty's head, smoothing down the hair.
And there was that feeling again. The one that couldn't let Husk enjoy a good thing while he had it. The fear of releasing control.
"I'm not a pet," he grumbled, having no control over the defensiveness in his voice.
Angel, ever oblivious, pressed on. "Oh, but you are to me~. My sweet little Husky~."
Finally, the camel's back broke under that straw.
"Just stop, okay?! I don't-" Husk took a much-needed breath, sitting up, "I know being treated like a toy is your thing, but it's not mine. I don't like being talked to like I'm a pet. Like all I am is your little dancing monkey." It dawned on him just how much of all that was directed at Alastor. The words sunk in like cement in a lake, and he turned his eyes away, unable to look at what he just ruined.
Angel blinked. All of sudden, the moment had soured, and he had no clue why. Was it something he said? Husk said he didn't want to be treated like a toy. Is that how he felt? Like he wasn't valued? That wasn't what he was trying to say at all! It was adoration! Not condescension.
"What...?" Angel breathed.
"Forget it. Just, I'm sorry-"
"No! No, don't apologize," Angel interrupted, choosing his next words carefully, "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. It wasn't what I meant to say. I wasn't tryin' to say you were weak or small. I was... I was trying to tells you that I adore ya. You do so much for me and our friends. You look out for us, and protect us, and listen to our bullshit problems all the time.
"I think so highly of you, Husk. You don't take shit from no one, not even me. You're unafraid to speak your mind. You know how to keep your head when life gets messy. I got nothing but respect for you. That's why I wanted to do all this. That's why I want to pamper you with love and shit. Because you're always so strong, and I wanted to... I don't know... give you the space where you didn't have to be strong. Not with me."
A heavy silence fell over the room.
Husk couldn't find the words even if he tried. He had never heard such meaningful things spoken about him. Him, the grouchy barfly. How could he possibly come back from such a beautiful declaration? Especially now with how foolish he felt. It had never occurred to him that accepting affection was an act of good, and not an admission of weakness. That someone could be trusted to hold him in their hands and lift him up rather than drag him down.
Angel could never be Alastor. This was not a hostage situation.
This was a security.
One that he felt that he needed in this moment more than ever.
"Fuck... I'm sorry. I messed up everything and spoiled the mood. I'm still not very good at this whole intimacy stuff," Husk sighed.
"I know, and it's okay. I can teach you," Angel cupped his hand around Husk's cheek.
Husk leaned into the touch. "And uh... thanks. For what you said."
"I meant it."
What did Husk do on Earth to deserve such an Angel?
"Look, if uh. Ahem. If you still wanted to... to do what you were doing before... you know, I won't fight you," Husk stammered, falling quieter with each word.
If that's the only means of permission that Angel can get right now, then he'll take it. He gently eased Husk onto his back once more.
"Good. 'Cause I still have lots more love to give you, sweetcheeks." Angel's iconic smile returned.
Even though Husk basically just admitted he wanted Angel to keep going, his praises were beginning to fluster him. The corners of his lips started to rise, and the only defense he had against them was to turn his face away from the man in front of him.
"You like it when I talk to you like that, huh, baby? Do you hear in my voice how much I'm crazy about you? How I'd do anything for ya? Cause I would~. There's nothing that you don't deserve," Angel said, scratching oh so lightly beneath Husk's chin.
Husk squeezed his eyes shut as he surrendered to his smile and tried to crush Angel's hand with his neck.
"It's true~. Because you're just the cutest little thing alive! Er, unalive, so to speak," the spider said, feeling encouraged by this reaction, and bringing another hand to scritch in the middle of his side.
Before he could stop it, a giggle escaped from Husk's mouth. Mortified, he then clamped his jaw shut, holding any more upcoming laughs in.
"You don't have to pretend for me, baby. It's just us here," said Angel, now bringing all three sets of arms into the mix. One pair was tracing his sides, another scritching either sides of his neck, and the last drumming their fingers torturously over his belly.
The giggles rose back up again, and this time shutting his mouth wasn't keeping them at bay. If he weren't so stubborn, he might've given in by now. But it was just too embarrassing.
Husk clapped his paws over his mouth, and while it did (partially) succeed in quieting his laughter, it didn't do anything to remedy the tickly sensations now all over his torso. He twitched and quivered under the touch, but with Angel hovering over him, it didn't leave much room for reprieve.
"This looks like it really tickles. I'm sure you'd feel better if you let all those laugh out!" Angel encouraged, "Pleeeeeease? For me? For yourself?"
Still, he didn't budge.
"Okay. I didn't wanna have to do this, but you've left me with no otha' options." Angel took one hand that was scratching his chin and took both of Husk's paws in it, holding them above the cat's head.
The effect was gradual.
At first, you couldn't hear a peep. Then, over a matter of seconds, Husk's giggles began to bubble up once more, fighting their way to the surface, and tickling him from the inside out.
It was over. Before long, there was nothing between the loving attacker and the melodic sound he adored so much. It started out deeper and huskier, much like his normal speaking voice, but with each passing moment, it grew higher in pitch; the kind of laugh he reserved only for his softer moments with Angel.
The spider took this as a sign to continue and deepened the pressure of all of his appendages, digging into the jittery muscles.
Husk couldn't even recognize himself anymore. He sounded nothing like the bitter old drunk he normally was. In its place, was a goofy little lovesick fool who laughed like no one in the world could hear him. He guffawed and chortled and cackled with reckless abandon.
"There it itihis! There's that gorgeous laughter!" Said Angel. "For a moment there, I thought you was bout to explode!"
The compliment somehow made everything worse. The helplessness of the situation was still there, the feeling of being small, but it was... different. Like he was small enough to be held in someone's palm and protected from all harm. It felt safe.
Husk's cheeks began to burn red.
Hopefully, Angel would be too distracted to notice.
"Aw baaabe! Are you blushin'?!"
Fuck.
As if on cue, his cheeks burned brighter.
"Am I making you feel flustered~? Does it make it tickle more?"
"WOHOHOULD YOU SHUHUT UHUHUP?!"
"So it does. Hmm," Angel hummed as he started moving his hands faster and faster up and down his body. Up his sides, then down his sides, up his tummy, then down his tummy.
It was maddening.
It was tortuous.
It was wonderful.
If Heaven didn't feel like this, he didn't want it. If salvation didn't give him the same amount of relief and safety and joy that playing with his lover gave, then it wasn't worth it. He'd stay in this inferno of hell forever if it meant he could stay with Angel. Stay in this moment.
The demon in question kept on with his teases.
"Who's the cutest little thing~?" Angel cooed as he noticed Husk jump when he touched the lowest portion of his belly, "Ohoho, looks like someone's ticklish! Coochie coochie coooo~!"
Just when Husk thought he couldn't laugh any harder, he did.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FUHUHUCKING PRIHIHICK HAHAHA!" Husk snorted.
"Oho my gosh! You sound just like Fat Nuggets!" Angel chortled.
Husk's laughter was beginning to go silent, and started getting wheezier. This, Angel knew, meant it was time to stop.
"Alright, doll, I think you've had enough," Angel said as he released his prisoner.
As the spider removed his hands from his body, Husk started panting and giggling hysterically, still feeling the phantom sensations on his skin.
"Need some help there?" Angel offered, moving his hands back towards the other's belly.
Husk curled away from his hands, "Dohohon't!"
"I'm not gonna tickle ya, I swear! I'm just gonna get the leftover tickles to go away. Okay?"
Husk nodded hesitantly and revealed his stomach to him.
Angel's hands met his fur, and although it did jump at first, the firm pressure and massaging motions rubbed away the remaining tickles, just like he said it would.
"Dahamn. That really works." Husk breathed.
"Right? Now do you feel better?"
"Yeah," Husk sat up as Angel gave him room, "You know, for such a compliant gentleman, you sure do know how to take charge."
Angel swiveled to Husk with his mouth agape. "I can be a boss when I wanna be!"
"Heh. Sure, power bottom."
Angel reached for Husk's right foot (or paw) and skittered one set of fingers over it.
"NonononONONOHOHO! I'M SORRY, I TAKE IT BACK! I tahahake it bahahack! Hehehehe!"
"Uh huh. That's what I thought," Angel stopped and huffed with a wink, nothing but kind love behind his eyes, "So. You ready for bed?"
"After all that laughing? Hell yes I am. I might even sleep through tomorrow." Husk said tiredly.
Angel chuckled, sidling up behind Husk and gently cacooning his arms around him again.
"This okay?"
Husk sighed.
"It's perfect."
-------
Wooh! That was a rollercoaster! 😅 Hope the people that wanted lee!husk enjoyed this fic 🫶
#tickle#tickles#tickling#ticklish#tickle community#tickle fic#hazbin hotel tickles#lee!husk#ler!angeldust#huskerdust tickles
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i keep thinking about essentially being like. velvette's 'charity case' model and how your relationship develops from there.
notes: fem!reader, velvette calls you ugly LMAO, beyond that... no warnings, really. surprisingly the most healthy vee relationship ive written yet!
velvette's typical models all look similar, reminiscent of the modeling industry back when you were alive. tall, skinny and, more important than anything else, human-looking. most of them could pass for humans in a costume.
you… do not. you just didn't get quite that lucky with your demon form! really, you can say that the vast majority of people drew the short end of the stick, at least by the kind of standards that people like velvette set. maybe you're a bat, with a snout you've deemed as pig-like taking up most of your face. or a sheep, your single-slitted, dead eyes making even you uncomfortable. perhaps you're more formed after an object than what you would consider a person, or plant-like in nature! in any regards, due to the way lucifer chose to have you reborn you firmly do not fall within hell's beauty standards.
all of that means you were absolutely not expecting to be accepted when you went ahead and applied to a job with someone as famous and perfectionistic as velvette. it had started as a joke, really. you'd posted a purposefully horrible picture of yourself on vitter, with a stupid caption like; "do u think that :skull::heart: would kill me for submitting to open casting looking like this lmaooooo" (you have to use emojis to talk about the vees, as the socials owned by them are notorious for taking anything remotely negative down.)
and unexpectedly, your post randomly did some pretty big numbers, with people egging you on and some practically begging to tell you what kind of insults she would sling at your head. you saw some people copying your original as well.
so you're like! whatever!!! you don't think that you'd even get through the application process, much less velvette herself. nothing will end up happening, so, who cares? but then, somehow, despite everyone and their mom wanting to model for velvette, you get… through? and you even get an interview scheduled with velvette herself?
she takes one look at you as you walk in, and just goes: oh my god. this really is grim. and you're hardly seated, before she continues. look, i don't have the time for niceties, and introductions are entirely unnecessary. i'm sure you already know this, but you're not here because of your looks.
yeah. you figured that. …i guessed so. but i'm still sitting here. so, why?
instead of getting a real answer, you're shuffled off into a shoot, different outfits flashing on top of your body, faster than you blink, velvette's face settled into a scowl, till it suddenly lights up. it doesn't go… super well, you've never really done this and, if you had, velvette's attitude surely wouldn't help. you never really get clarity as to why you're being hired, when a contract is shoved in front of you.
(the reality of the situation is that velvette had seen you trending, not trending-trending, but still a noticable. she realised the demand for someone like you, a 'relatable' every-demon being thrust into this new world, and documenting it online. her company can claim they accept 'all kinds of demons', and some poor suckers will feel less excluded when looking at her fashion, buying it more quickly. win-win-win!)
she tells you to you're face that you're the ultimate challenge. if she can fix someone like you up to in a half-decent model, it just shows that she really is a fucking goddess. maybe you're not as pretty or as used to everything as the rest of the models, but that doesn't mean you don't put in any effort now that you're there. the other girls won't associate with you whatsoever, but you do listen in on their conversations, pretending to mess around on your phone, coming to know the kind of make-up velvette likes. you tirelessly browse online, mostly on vikvok and vitter, figuring out the current trends. and after a while, velvette takes a look at an outfit you picked, and actually says…
this is pretty decent. it won't look good on you, but i can use this. maybe, somewhere along the way, you become more of an assistant or outfit suggestor for velvette, only occasionally stopping in for shoots. velvette never accepted anyone in a similar position to you, even though vox tried her to get an assistant for ages, and she wouldn't have accepted you either if you'd obviously being vying for the position. but you weren't, and your position just kind of naturally developed that way.
your shtick as a 'charity case' has somewhat been abandoned, though velvette still dumps clothes in your arms sometimes and tells you to try them on. maybe you're one of the few people who gets her to laugh, and the only one who she freely bitches to about all of her models. (she does this to vox and valentino too, but it's not the same. they don't care as much, nor do they really know who she's talking about.) she lets you sort through some of the open casting applications and help pick out the theme for a shoot.
of course, absolutely everything you do has to go through velvette first, and she still criticizes you aplenty, but you can't help but feel she has grown… fond of you, in a sense? sometimes, you swear you see her wearing outfits you'd picked out for another model… and while she shittalks everything that moves, you just happened to listen in on her giving a model a tonguelashing for talking bad about you. either way, you've certainly come to like her a lot more. you're now even mutuals on vitter and vikvok! much to the delight of the tiny following you'd grown on there. she even posted a picture of the two of you on there! …that means you've really made it.
maybe at some point, when her company has hit a new milestone and, in a rare slip-up (or perhaps valentino gave her a super strong drink on purpose, thinking its funny) she gets pretty drunk. you end up sitting opposite of each other in a bar, with her having decided on the spot to put some make-up on you, leaning in close to check her work, fingers gliding slowly over your skin. a situation that feels entirely too intimate for this setting, not helped by the half-lidded look in your eyes. …i have changed my mind. she mumbles, slurring her words are little. you can look pretty, after all.
you sputter out a oh really, and you only realised that now?! in order to break the heaviness of the air, the unspoken tension that makes your heart skip a beat, and velvette laughs.
(maybe there's hope for the two of you yet.)
#hazbin hotel x reader#velvette x reader#hazbin hotel velvette x reader#hazbin hotel#velvette#cha.velvette
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after your post about malleus i finally said to myself “yeah i can’t force myself to pretend like i like any of the dormheads”. not like i hate them, but after their blots were over i felt like nothing in particular has ever changed about them. the only person who made me think yeah he’s a changed guy is vil. i was really surprised when in chapter 6(if it wasn’t the end of 5th? can’t remember) he apologised to the boys, his acceptance of his own mistakes and awful doings made him skyrocket in my mental tier list
[Referencing this post!]
Mmmm, I'm in a similar boat when it comes to the dorm leaders but for my own reasons; I like the vice dorm leaders a lot better simply because I tend to enjoy characters who play "supportive" roles (butler, bodyguard, knight, older sibling, etc.).
I don't know if I agree with the idea that the dorm leaders (well, + Jamil instead of Kalim) didn't change after their OBs. I believe that we miss out on seeing a lot of their development because it happens off-screen and we the players don't spend every waking moment checking up on the OB boys--but they definitely do change. More specifically, right after their OBs and sometimes upon their returns in the subsequent books. Just because we do not personally witness every step of their development doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Let's look at one example with the first dorm leader. After his defeat, Riddle cries and confesses he doesn't care about the silly rules, he just wants to enjoy his time with everyone. During the unbirthday party that follows his OB, Riddle sees some roses that are not entirely red and his peers expect him to lose his temper again. Instead, he laughs and says he can overlook it, then invites everyone to help him paint them properly. Riddle expresses similar restraint with his anger in book 2; he adopts a policy of strictly chastising and then trying to fix the problem instead of immediately collaring rule transgressors. (The exceptions being with, of course, the wrongdoers of book 2, like Leona.) Then, in book 6, we see Riddle struggling with his character change, as he is shown to still heavily rely on absolute rules and laws to govern his actions, and relies on himself to be the judge of them while shunting out others. It's only when he butts heads with Azul that he's able to be a little more flexible and recognize his peers' strengths. This makes sense, because the time period between book 1 and book 6 is only about 6 months; a complete shift in one's character and worldview won't happen that quickly, nor completely. Riddle must have been working on himself a lot and consciously trying to repress his anger--and he's imperfect at it. This is fine!! Character growth can be messy, slow, and non-linear--and this is true of how the dorm leaders change over time.
As for Vil (since he was specifically cited in your ask!), I'm of the opinion that his early book 6 apology was not the result of a character change. Vil was already very mature and self-aware prior to OBing; I think he would have still apologized if he thought something going wrong was genuinely his fault, as he holds himself to high standards and would acknowledge when he has fallen short of them (even in regards to morals). This is implied in his behavior before he overblotted too; in book 5, Vil repeatedly claims he will defeat Neige using his own power, fair and square. When he falls into despair and resorts to dirty methods to take his rival out, VIl is appalled by the "ugliness" of his actions and begs his classmates to "not look at [him]" because "[he's] so ugly" (referring to his ugly character/morals). This means he was aware of the cruelty of his actions and how they poorly reflect on him (ie he would have felt guilty and apologized afterwards about it anyway). Vil typically comes off as harsh, but he's truly noble when it comes to accepting when he has fucked up.
I feel the real change in Vil is something that Rook highlights: the importance of loving oneself, regardless of what others may think of you. This development is made more apparent in book 6, which is the follow-up book to Vil's and allows him a time to shine. Whereas in book 5 Vil was obsessed with being a "hero" and public opinion, book 6 Vil declares to Idia "there are no heroes or villains" and that he is still "fairest of them all" (echoing a line Rook says in book 5), even as a withered old man.
I don’t want to ramble on for too long!! If you’re interested in reading about how the dorm leaders (+ Jamil) are grappling with their character arcs following their books, I’d recommend this post. It only goes up to Vil since the analysis is very book 6 heavy. I’d recommend this one for Idia, but be warned it does not take into account book 7 events since it was not out at the time of writing.
#twisted wonderland#twst#Leona Kingscholar#Azul Ashengrotto#Jamil Viper#Riddle Rosehearts#Kalim Al-Asim#Vil Schoenheit#Idia Shroud#Malleus Draconia#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#notes from the writing raven#Rook Hunt#book 1 spoilers#book 6 spoilers#book 7 spoilers#book 2 spoilers
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Dandelions: Sukuna Ryomen x Reader
His heart beats only for you while yours beats for someone else, so he made a wish on a dandelion, hoping it would come true.
Context/Warnings: Fem!Reader, Soft!Sukuna, swearing, unrequited love, flower language, a bit suggestive
Wc: 2.7k
Part 2
It's not like he wanted to fall in love with you. It was actually your fault. You weaseled your way into his life and then his heart. If only you had left him alone, then none of this would have happened. But you were too god damn stubborn to leave him alone. It was all your fault.
It was so stupid how he fell in love with you. Sukuna absolutely hated cliché stuff. And here he is going through the stereotypical cliché plot. He even told you how much he hated it. He remembers telling you how he rather die than read those stupid romance books you like to read. They were full of stupid plot with disgusting mushy feelings. Basically, it's the same thing in every story. He always felt like his ears were going to fall off listening to you talk about those stories. Recently, you started to read this one-shot called Dandelion. Something about a guy having unrequited feelings for a girl for years and the girl liking someone else.
Absolutely fucking ridiculous.
Sukuna remembers how he met you. It was a few years ago, back when they were still in school. He was minding his own business and then you fucking popped out of nowhere. He wouldn't tell you but you scared the shit out of him when you suddenly appeared.
"Yknow, smoking is bad for you."
He turned around to see you at the door smiling.
"Y'know, not minding your own fucking business is bad for you," he scoffed. "Get out of here. This is my spot."
You walked up to him and snatched the cigarette away. You tossed it onto the ground and put out the light.
"They can cause many health problems," you say as you crossed your arms. "And I don’t see your name anywhere on this rooftop."
He glared at you– "Listen here, you brat. What I do has absolutely nothing to do with you. So skip along to your friends and go bother them instead."
"What if you are my friend?" You said smugly. Your eyes were shining with mischief. "And since you said to go bother my friends, that's what I'm doing."
"You must think you're so fucking funny," he snarled at you.
You put your hands on your waist– "I am actually very funny."
He took a step towards you and towered over you. "Leave."
You looked up at him with a deadpan expression.
"No."
"Last warning. Leave."
"Make me."
News flash – He wasn’t able to get rid of you. He was unsuccessful no matter what he did.
You decided to bother him every single god damn day. Somehow, you always showed up at the rooftop whenever he was there. You just wouldn't leave him alone, so he decided to ditch the rooftop. To say he failed was something he didn’t want to admit. He didn't fail. He just decided to ignore you. But then you showed up in front of his classroom. You somehow found his classroom.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance and quickly tried to leave before you could catch up to him.
Mission escaping the brat– failed.
You were a fast little thing. You immediately caught up to him and were now walking side by side with him. This caused a lot of people in the hallway to stare at both of you. You two were an unexpected duo to see together.
"Sukunaaaaaaa"
Great. You even found out his name. Amazing. Whoever told you his information is dead. He's going to kill them.
"Sukuna, if you keep looking like that, you'll end up being super ugly. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend."
Sukuna turned around to face you– "You trying to pick a fucking figh–"
He wasn’t able to finish his sentence as you stuffed a mochi in his mouth. Where the fuck did that mochi come from?!
He quickly chewed the mochi and swallowed.
"Did you fu–"
"Was it good?" You quickly interrupted. "It's a new flavor that came out recently. A friend gave me some to try."
"I don't car–"
"It was a limited edition sale. My friend camped outside the shop for a whole day just to buy all the stocks."
You continued talking about it, and Sukuna wanted to just smack you. You were so annoying.
"I am going to smack you if you keep talking."
You immediately stopped talking and walking. You looked up at him and grinned mischievously.
"Wow, Sukuna. Didn't know you were kinky like that. It's ok, though! I like it rough, but take me out to dinner first. Bedroom activities can come later~"
This caused him to explode in anger. You were teasing him. He immediately stomped away from you. He could hear you laughing as you tried to catch up to him. Fuck. You were annoying as hell. Sassy and challenging him in every way.
Your eyes were gleaming with mischief. Did you have to say that? Now he wanted to put you in your place. Bend you over under him and–
Oh fuck. Now you implanted a curse in his head. Fucking minx.
After months of you constantly pestering him, he grew used to your presence. He started to enjoy it. Wait, no. He meant he was just tolerating you.
Yeah. That's right. He's just tolerating you.
"Sukuna! Stop!!!"
Sukuna immediately halted– "What's goin–"
"You almost stepped on some dandelions," you say as you knelt down to the floor.
Sukuna felt like he was going to pop a vein. He can't believe you stopped him for a weed. Can you let he walk to a restaurant in peace?! It was fucking Saturday. He should have never allowed you to follow him home back then.
"Are you fucking joking with me right now?" He looked down at you as you pluck the dandelion. "You stopped me for a fucking weed?"
"First of all, it's a flow–"
"It's a fucking weed."
"It's a flower!" You huffed. "And it's a wishing flower! You make a wish and then blow away the seeds!"
"Great, now you've gone crazy. Just the thing I need from you. As if you're not annoying enough."
"I have not gone crazy! People make wishes on dandelions!"
"And do you know if any of them got fulfilled?" He raised his eyebrow at you. "And I'm sure the people you talk of are kids."
"Well um–" You try to think of something to say as a comeback but come up with nothing.
He smiled smugly– "That's what I thought."
"That's not the point!" You quickly shoved a dandelion in front of his face.
"Get that weed away from my face. I'm starving for food, and you're stopping me for a weed."
"Geez, stop being a party pooper," you sulked. "Make a wish! Maybe it will come true and prove you wrong!"
"I am not going to do something so childish," he said as he pushed your hand away.
"I'll buy lunch!"
Sukuna stopped and thought about it for a second before saying– "And dinner."
If he was going to indulge in your childish antics and look like an idiot, he better get something out of it.
You reluctantly agreed, and he snatched the dandelion out of your hands. He made a wish and then blew the dandelion seeds away.
"There. Made my wish. Now I hope your wallet is ready."
"Whatever, you glutton! What did you wish for?"
"None of your fucking business brat."
The two of you spent a lot of time together. You eventually introduced Sukuna to your other friends. Which surprised Sukuna because at this point, with the amount of time you came and bothered him, he believed that your friends were imaginary.
A girl named Shoko Ieiri, who looks like she's sleep deprived. A guy named Suguru Geto, who, in his opinion, looks weird. Why is he smiling like that!? And finally, a guy named Satoru Gojo. He was the worst out of all your friends. He didn't do anything to him, but just looking at him makes Sukuna want to get rid of him. Cut him in half. Sukuna didn't understand exactly why until he looked at you, looking at him.
Although Sukuna personally knew nothing about love, he knew what he saw. He seen enough people do what they do when in love. He heard enough about the stupid love stories you like to read. He can see it in your eyes when you look at your friend. You liked him.
The way your eyes light up whenever he comes toward you. The way your cheeks start to turn red with a small blush. The way you nervously play with your hands. The smile you give whenever you're around him. A smile that can rival the sun. He felt a pain blossom in his chest as he clenched his fist. These are things he has never seen or gotten from you before.
He hated everything that was going on right now. He hated the way you would sneak glances at him when you think no one was looking. The way you lean into his touch. The way you looked at him with pure adoration and love.
He absolutely hated it.
It took a while for Sukuna to understand why he hated Gojo so much. Why just the sight of Gojo annoyed him. And it's all your fault.
He didn't even know when these feelings started. Was it when you guys first met and you stood your ground with him? Was it when you teased him? Was it when you kept bothering him? Was it when you guys would go out for lunch or dinner together? Was it when he took care of you when you were sick? Did he fall for your looks? Your personality? Was it because of the times you've spent together?
Fuck. He was pissed. Here he is, catching those disgusting mushy feelings for you. Something he sweared would have never happened, and he doesn’t even know how it even happened.
"Fucking hell," Sukuna sighs as he run his hand through his hair.
It should be fine, right? He'll just ignore this. Move on like he didn't realize he fell in love with you somewhere along this journey. These feelings won't last anyway. It will disappear soon. You liked someone else, too, so it should be easy to move on. Right?
Fucking wrong. He's never been more wrong in his life.
All of you have graduated and are now doing your own thing. You all meet up regularly to hang out. Although Sukuna made an effort to see you daily as much as possible–
Wait, no. Correction: He sees you daily because he knows you'll do something stupid if he wasn't watching over you. Nothing else, really.
It's not like Sukuna had trouble moving on. He's not dreaming about you daily. He doesn't want you. It's not like that at all. He obviously moved on from you while you still liked Gojo. No point in these feelings since they're a nuisance.
Deep down, even if he ignores it, he knows he still likes you. But it's not like you'll ever look his way like the way you look at Gojo. Unless an opportunity arrives and it just so happens to arrive. That opportunity came knocking at his door, and he isn't going to let it slip away.
After years watching you love someone else, now he is watching you get your heart broken by that same person. Honestly, he never understood why you fell in love with this guy. That guy was a child in a man's body. Like, who even drinks those sugary, coma-inducing drinks??
But here you are smiling through the pain. He saw small tears forming in your eyes before you quickly wiped them away and said there was dust in your eyes. Others may not notice it, but he does. He saw the hurt in your eyes when Gojo told them that he fell in love at first sight with someone.
Great. Now he wants to murder Gojo even more now for hurting you.
However, he can't help but feel happy? Relief? He doesn't know what he felt. He just knew that an opportunity was given. But he isn't going to be a shitty person and confess to you right when you got your heart broken. He'll wait until you heal. If you ever will. After all, he had already kept his feelings to himself for years. What's wrong with waiting a bit more?
He could make you happy. He would give it his god damn all to make you happy. He would never hurt you. He wouldn't make you cry. At least not cry in a sad way. You crying under him, though, is a different story–
He quickly shakes his head to get rid of that thought. He's getting distracted. You got him wrapped around your fingers, and you don't even know it. He couldn't help but sigh. He really is still in love with you.
He watches as you and Geto try to give Gojo advice on how to win over the person he likes.
"You're an idiot," he interrupted.
He stared at Gojo as he said it, but it was meant for you and himself, really. Both of you two are idiots. Both of you have unrequited love, like in those shitty stories you read. He really is living in the stupid cliché plot he hates. And it's all your fault.
A few months have passed since then. He knew you had mostly moved on. He can still see the hurt sometimes, but it's fading. He knew he should make a move soon. After all, if he doesn't, what if someone else approaches you? But he also knows that just because you moved on doesn't mean you'll see him as he sees you. So he's willing to wait for that day. The day you look at him the way he looks at you.
So here he is. Standing in front of a flower shop. Looking extremely out of place. If you told his past self that he fell in love with you and is now trying to pursue you, he can see his past self attempting murder. He really can't believe he's going to order flowers.
He took a few deep breaths and walked in.
The minute he walked in, a florist greets him– "Hello sir! How may we help you today?"
"Can you make me a boutique?"
"Of course, sir! What type of flowers would you like for the boutique?"
He wanted something to convey his feelings and message. He's done some research about flowers and their meaning. Many websites showed different things, but he eventually settled for one.
"I want..."
When he finally finished ordering the flowers, he went home. On his way back home, he noticed a dandelion.
"...it's a wishing flower! You make a wish and then blow away the seeds! ...People make wishes on dandelions!"
He stared at the dandelion for a few minutes before he clicked his tongue. He bent down and plucked it. He then made a wish and blew the seeds away. He didn't know why he did it. It's not like the dandelion would make his wish come true.
"Tsk. Can't believe I did this. It's fucking stupid."
You really made him a god damn softie so it's about fucking time you take responsibility.
A few days later, he asked you to meet him at your usual spot. A place that only the two of you knew. When he arrived with the boutique, you were already there. You were sitting on the bench, looking over the city.
He quietly stared at you for a while. You were so beautiful sitting there. If angels did exist, you'll be one of them. But then again, your personality was more like a devil. You cast a curse on his heart, and honestly, he didn't mind it. You can curse him for his entire lifetime as long as you accept him.
"Hey, brat. Look behind you."
When you heard the sound of his voice, you quickly turned around. You looked at him and smiled until you noticed the boutique in his hand. You gasped as your eyes widened.
Red chrysanthemum and astilbe. I love you and I will be waiting for you.
#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#sukuna ryoumen x reader#sukuna ryomen#sukuna ryoumen x you#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#shoko ieiri#geto suguru#jjk oneshot#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader
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Levi Ackerman- The Richest Man in the World
You wanted to make a normal date with Levi more fun and unconventional, but you forgot that he can read you like an open book.
Word count- 1409
Female reader x Levi Ackerman
SFW
Dating Levi Ackerman can be very exciting. From under the sheets to simple, humble dinner dates. He always has a way of making it memorable for both of you. There is one occasion in particular, however, that will never slip your mind.
It was a hot summer day in Trost when the two of you headed for the heart of the city. There was no end goal other than to put your responsibilities aside and save up some time for each other. You were having an amazing time when a great idea came to your mind.
There was a tall building on your left– a multifloored store for dresses of all sorts. Green, red, blue. Short, long, exotic. All of it in one place. You weren't surprised considering that many wealthy people lived here and most of them could easily afford to fill their wardrobes with clothes. Your eyes turned to stars and your jaw dropped.
''Hey, why don't we go inside?''
You suggested that and Levi, who was holding your arm to his chest like a gentleman, glanced over at the entrance. ''Hmmm? You like something?''
''Not yet. Come on.'' You urged and he didn't set you back. The Captain followed right after you, curious as to what you had in mind.
The place really was huge and the store owners gladly welcomed you inside, inviting Levi to sit over at a sofa and observe for now. You began looking at every dress, mesmerized at how amazing all of their designs were.
But there is another thing that you couldn't ignore. You wondered if the reason you never wore dresses is because your body type just didn't allow it or because your budget was too small. Nonetheless it all made you hesitate a bit. You went quiet for a moment.
''Are you okay?'' Levi inquired, already sipping on a cup of tea he was brought while you were zoned out.
''Yeah.'' You clicked your tongue and resumed the search.
It was best you kept your worries to yourself. You knew Levi was always one to watch over you and be sensible. You didn't want to feel like you've wasted his time so you chose to pretend that none of the dresses were up your alley.
The first one you tried on was truthfully ugly. You didn't have to fake the reaction. The color made your nose scrunch in disgust.
''I feel like a disco ball. There are too many beads,'' you murmured and your gaze ran to your quiet boyfriend. Levi was silent but his eyes were burning right through you. He took another long sip and said nothing. No sign of any emotion.
Then you tried another one on. It was very beautiful but too long and tripped you over a couple of times.
''It's my style but too long. I would need them to shorten it.'' You looked down and realized that not even your legs were visible through the material.
Levi was still watching and still saying nothing. You're beginning to wonder if this is boring for him.
Then your interest was piqued by three others. Unlike the first ones, you actually had luck this time. The dresses were the perfect size, shape and color. In fact, they resembled the ones you used to read about in your books. It was a fantasy brought to your reality.
But you couldn't have Levi know that or else you'd have to tell him how this entire time you didn't have the money for any of this. You know he wouldn't mock you but the guilt would eat at your heart.
''It's…something. These are getting progressively worse, don't you think?'' You asked for his input, finding his sitting reflection in the mirror. Once more his mouth didn't open to speak but his focus went up and down on you. Was he eye fucking you or judging your horrible taste?
After a few minutes of doubtful thoughts and inner regret, you shrugged your shoulders.
''Well it's fine. I'm glad that we came here at least. Maybe next time I will buy myself something.'' You explained, sighing deeply. What nobody knew was that if you could, you'd collect every single piece of clothing in this building. That dream owned your soul.
You put on your casual clothes and walked out the fitting room to Levi who stepped closer to you and brushed the hair out of your face. For a moment you got the idea that he was telling you something telepathically but you didn't know what.
''You are beautiful.'' He leaned in to tell you, his voice raspy yet smooth.
The two of you left, saying goodbye to the workers inside. Your gut shrunk a bit. You didn't know what to feel about what just happened.
And so, the arrows of the clock kept looping and two days passed by. You heard a knock on your door.
You opened it to see Petra and Oluo– two very loyal members of Levi's squad. He had told you many times about them but you rarely saw them.
''Is everything okay?'' You rush to ask, already overthinking what could be happening.
''Oh yeah.'' Petra grinned warmly and lifted a strange, enormous bag in her hands. ''The Captain told us to bring this to you. Enjoy.''
The two nodded respectfully, deserting you there with your own thoughts and a lot of confusion. Why exactly would Levi send you something? The two of you lived together so wouldn't it make sense that he directly handed it to you?
You brushed off all questions and checked the contents of the delivery. Your eyes turned big and round when you saw the three exact dresses you fell in love with the other day. But how? You gave it your best to hide what you felt and even acted repulsed but somehow Levi saw through your disguise. Now it makes sense why he was looking so attentively at you. He was studying your face bit by bit as if it were some kind of science. He knew just what you had on your mind.
All of them were crazy expensive which made you freak out a bit. The Captain went out of his way to purchase them without even looking at the price tag? The idea that he went back for that made your heart melt. It also angered you a bit that this entire time he kept quiet and acted natural while you put up an act.
What a foxy man.
A small note fell off the bag onto the ground and you picked it up to see what was written on it.
Come to my office when you can. Bring the dresses.
Levi
Excited to hear from him, you did just that. You flew out of the house wildly and mounted your horse, heading for the location.
When you arrived, you opened the door to find Hange and Erwin inside, having a conversation with Levi.
Levi looked at you instantly and a spark began dancing in the coldness of his blue eyes.
''Hange, Erwin, see yourself out,'' he commanded in a reserved tone. Erwin gave him a nod and greeted you idly before exiting. Hange did too, but not before leaning in to whisper in your ear.
''Don't know what you've done to him but he's not himself today.''
You gave them a baffled look.
''Is that good?''
Hange just grinned, not elaborating any further. They stepped out and shut the door which left just you and Levi in the room. The air turned thick and hard to breathe for a moment.
''Levi, you spent all these money on–''
''Try them on.'' He cut you off, standing up from his seat and approaching you. ''Put them on again. This time be genuine with what you think.''
You sucked in your lower lip and try to formulate a sentence. ''It's too much. It's just too much. I can't possibly pay you back.''
He reached out and pulled you in his arms, his intonation full of sheer affection and pure devotion. ''That's not for you to worry. I want you to try them on and tell me if they need any adjustments.''
You put both hands on his shoulders, ''Are you sure?''
His face moved closer, his mouth caressing your ear. ''Why would I say it if I don't mean it?'' He chuckled.
And before you could do what he requested you to, he took your hand and stole your attention momentarily to speak what was on his mind this entire time:
''You make me the richest man in the world, you know that?''
🌹
#levi x reader#levi attack on titan#levi ackerman#levi aot#attack on titan fanfiction#writing#attack on titan#levi heichou#levi x you#aot#writers on tumblr#my fic writing#writerscommunity
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the warmest bed i've ever known
'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist
See my full list of works here!
Placement: dating era; a few days after 'when the feeling sinks in'
Summary: Tom has convinced you to go back to London with him for a few weeks, and a photo of you two out and about together has opinions firing left and right.
Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader
Word Count: 4k
Warnings (spoilers ahead): language; big hater behavior towards Reader; attempted breakup; angst; brief mentions of past bullying [let me know if i missed anything!]
Things to be aware of: Tomathy fully in his comforting precious bf era
Numb.
That was the only word that came to mind right now to describe what you felt, staring at your screen with all the hateful vile words that people who didn't even know you were flinging your way. And all because of the man you were dating. And how much you looked like a downgrade compared to his ex.
Then again it really shouldn't have surprised you, considering the turn your life had taken in the last few months. Hell, the last few days. There was really no other way for these nameless faceless spineless people to react when the man you'd started dating was none other than Tom Hiddleston.
And the figuratively ridiculously large shoes you had to fill considering the rising power of said ex…was Taylor Swift's.
You shouldn't have gone online. Checked Twitter. Checked anything, really. They rarely if ever had anything good to say, it was a special kind of stupid and naive for you to think that someway somehow you and your relationship were going to be the exception to the vitriolic rule.
Now here you were, screechy voices filling your mind, spitting out the words that your eyes scanned when you opened the cesspool of a sight.
Nothing special
Unremarkable
Fucking stab my eyes out with a rusty fork ugly
To be completely fair, you'd seen worse when you were still in school, every day inundated with the mocking words that sociopaths with hormones on overdrive wielded recklessly like a goddamn balisong without care that the person on the receiving end was actually a person. And if that was the shitshow you experienced from people brave enough to sign those sentiments with their name and say it to your face with chests fully puffed out, then the bravery of these people when they were all snuggled up under the protective cover of anonymity really shouldn't have shocked you.
Finding out who they were behind the screen and dealing out retribution on your own terms would have been a simple enough task. After all, you'd done it before, and even with the current advancements in technology and the tighter security protocols centered around protecting user data, you still managed to keep a few tricks in your bag that you could whip out if the need ever arose.
There was just one thing that stopped you from doing just that. A part of you agreed with the vicious comments. It was easy enough to ignore when people in school were just making hateful pages about how you sucked and how no one would ever genuinely like you. Or when they made pages pretending to be you so that they could dole out their paltry attempts at trying to ruin what little reputation you had at the time.
When you dealt with them on that comparatively smaller scale, it became easy to numb yourself to their words, drown them out until they were just white noise in the background, keeping you focused on the path you laid out for yourself rather than distracting you. It gave you a drive to work harder and better so that you could get as far away from them as possible.
On this scale, the background noise was so strong, so loud and overwhelming that every step you took to fight it seemed to take every ounce of your strength. It felt like there was no way out. You couldn't just hunker down and work hard so that you could get away from it all this time. And you couldn't exactly ignore them, either.
How could you? When they were voicing with pinpoint accuracy every insecurity that plagued you ever since you agreed to be his girlfriend a few days ago. Ever since your first night with him months ago.
So is this some sort of Make-A-Wish thing? That's it, right? She's on her last few months and she wanted to live them in delusion?
Fifty bucks says Tom's active on Raya right now. Quick someone send me an invite link I wanna shoot my shot. Tommy don't worry baby I'll save you from whatever the fuck mistake you got yourself into.
How the fuck do you go from Taylor Swift to that?
The most prevalent remarks in the last few hours had to do with a sighting of you sitting on a park bench, working on creating a wardrobe piece for an upcoming show that, if all went well, would start filming in a few years. The book author and the prospective showrunner got in contact with you after a glowing recommendation from Taika, and they talked about struggling to find the perfect scarf that would serve as one of the series' focal points.
After a few discussions and so many skeins of yarn that there was now an oversized tote bag in your hotel room overflowing with various shades of dark teal and peacock blue, you started crocheting a sample size of the pattern to show the author later on in the afternoon before you went to meet Tom for dinner. And that was how you were spotted this morning, sitting quietly on the bench, eyes on your project while your boyfriend was taking Bobby for a walk.
And for some reason the internet was up in arms over that,
Are you really fucking telling me this boring ass bitch that's giving old lady crocheting a goddamn scarf is fucking riding the God of Mischief every day? Nuh uh nope I don't believe that. Our Tommy deserves someone fun, and actually fucking pays attention to him and not a ball of yarn. Our baby deserves so much better than this.
You stared at the desk in front of you, your sample scarf to the left, and your laptop at the center, the screen now black from inactivity. You couldn't bother to move to check the time; your reminder would ring when your call would start. All you could bring yourself to do was remain exactly as you were, knees drawn to your chest with your arms around your legs, shaking and doing your damnedest not to break out into sobs over the knowledge of what you were about to do as soon as the door opened.
It was a good run, you told yourself. More than I deserved.
The sound of the front door opening jolted you back to reality, the voices finally dying down somewhat. Unfortunately, hearing Tom's voice started the voices right back up again.
"Y/N, darling, have you finished with your call? I was hoping we could go out tonight for dinner and--" His words stopped abruptly once he got to his study, seeing you in the position you'd been in for the last few hours, and immediately rushed to your side, crouching in front of you and taking your hands in his. "What's wrong, goddess?"
"I uhh…I have to go back to Los Angeles. I'm gonna see if I can make the next flight back." You didn't dare meet his eyes, still trying to hold back any tears.
He let out a breath, sounding almost relieved before he pressed a kiss to your hands. "That shouldn't be much of a problem, I can pack a bag and we can be on the next flight out--"
"No," you cut him off, wincing at your tone. "I'm going alone. There's no need for you to go with me, I'm sure you have some other things to do here. Better things."
There was a slight tremor in his hand as he cupped your face, gently turning your head to look at him. He took a shuddering breath seeing the tears swimming in your eyes. "What's happening right now, sweetheart? Please. I don't understand what could have brought this on, we had a lovely morning--"
"I thought I could do this," you choked out, finding it difficult to form coherent words without starting to blubber. "I thought I could drown the voices out, not let them get to me but…they're too loud. They're ruthless and vile and they have megaphones and they're right." You shook your head to turn away from him, burying your face between your knees, the all too familiar feeling of shame flooding your system, shrouding over you like an overly weighted blanket. "I'm not strong enough to do this with you. And you deserve someone better than me."
You took your laptop off of Standby, your screen illuminating and showing him the harsh words that had been haunting you since you stupidly decided to check the internet just minutes after he left the house. He began to visibly tense as his eyes scanned the pages seeing all the hateful things literal strangers had to say about your relationship.
"Look we gave it a shot," you tried to tell him, making a motion to get out of the chair which made him put his hands on the armrests, effectively keeping you in place. "But I think it's time to call it. I'm not good for you, and you deserve someone--"
"No." His tone was low and resolute, hands staying firmly on the chair, refusing to let you go anywhere. From a certain perspective, it was a smart enough move, considering that if he let you go right now, you'd probably sprint out the door in the name of doing what you thought would be best for him. Even if it meant ripping your own heart out in the process. "This can't be over already, we've only just begun. The time I've had with you has been extraordinary and I know that if we keep going, it'll get even better. You've made me so happy and--"
"You'll find someone that makes you happier," you dumbly shot back, the sentiment hitting you so hard that the tears finally began to fall. Even the thought of him potentially moving on so quickly after this already had you ready to sob. "Someone stronger. Someone that can handle all of this or hell someone they'll actually like--"
"Those people don't care for my happiness," he said in a rush, tears filling his eyes as well. "No matter what I do, there's always going to be someone hateful that has something to say, and they'll always think they're right. It's so clear that they don't give a damn about what actually makes me happy because if they did, they wouldn't be saying these disgusting lies about you, trying to get into your head."
There was a desperation in his tone that tore at your heart; no part of you wanted to do this. But seeing every single insecurity that you'd had ever since you said yes to being his girlfriend, yes to going to London with him for a few weeks, and generally just yes to spending the next few however months of your life with him, all laid out in print echoed by so many others? You knew he deserved better than this, better than someone that would ultimately have to be hidden away so that these people would stop coming for his throat for his 'poor choices'.
And when you knew that what would be best for the man you ached to give your heart to was to actually tuck your heart away and run, how selfish would it be for you to do the opposite?
The feel of his hands framing your face brought you back to your thoughts, the frantic pleading look on his face robbing you of your breath. "Do you want to leave, Y/N?" You wanted to scream No of course I don't, I want to stay with you. But you found yourself unable to form words. All you could do was shake your head as more tears fell from your eyes.
He pressed his lips to yours, pulling you into his arms the second you crossed your hands behind his neck and lifting you out of your seat. He didn't break the kiss until he'd carried you to his bedroom, setting you down on the edge of the bed. Then he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead before sinking to his knees in front of you, taking your hands in his.
"Then don't leave. Stay with me. We'll stay in and stay away from prying eyes so nobody gets to say anything about you, we'll--"
"You shouldn't have to make adjustments in your life for the sake of making me comfortable," you argued. "You should be with someone that can face all of this, not cower in a corner licking her wounds needing to be protected if she so much as gets seen stepping out of your house like some tiny helpless baby animal. You deserve to be with someone you can share everything with, without the worry of people shooting you down just because I'm not pretty enough or tall enough for them. You can have anything and everything you want with a snap of your fingers, I'm sure it won't be that hard to find someone that--"
Tom stopped you from letting out another word, holding you by the back of your head and pulling you to him for a desperate kiss. "I don't want anyone else, I want you. I don't give a fuck what anyone else wants to think about how I choose to spend my life and who I choose to share it with, because I know better. You're enough, you're more than enough. And if a few precautions and adjustments have to be made to make sure they can't get to you, then I'm more than happy to do all that and more.
"Our first night together I told you I just want you. As you are. That I want to make you happy." He rose from his knees, pressing a kiss to your cheek and working his way to your ear. "That I want to satisfy you. Do you remember?" You could only nod, trying and failing not to melt against him as he kissed below your ear. "I'm going to add that list of wants now. I want to make sure you feel safe, with every means I have at my disposal."
He guided you down until your back was flat on the mattress, kissing down your neck as he did so, his lips trailing a path down to just over your heart. You found it near impossible to breathe, finding yourself overwhelmed with how gentle and tender he was handling you.
"I want to love you," he said, meeting your eyes with a look that you could only describe as surrender. "I know you're not ready to hear it yet, but this can't wait anymore. You need to hear it. You need to know that the only way for me to actually have everything that I want is if I get to share everything I have with you. I need you to know that your leaving would rip my heart out." He made his way back up, stopping when your faces were mere inches apart. "I need you to know who you'd be leaving." He brushed his lips across yours in a featherlight kiss. "You would be leaving a man so completely, so desperately in love with you."
You tried to speak, but all you could manage was inaudibly mouthing his name, the sentiment you tried to stomp down just a little over a week ago fighting its way back up to the surface. Practically shouting from the back of your throat.
"I love you," he breathed out. "Please, sweetheart. Don't do this. Don't leave. Whatever you want, whatever you need so that we can make this work, we'll find our way through this together just please…I'm begging you don't tell me that what you want is to rid yourself of me--"
"That's the last thing I want," you managed to choke out, your eyes stinging with even more tears. You swallowed the lump in your throat, mustering every ounce of strength you had left to finally say the sentiment you prematurely blurted out when he first popped up at your house. "I love you, too."
You woke up the next morning the same way you'd been ever since you and Tom first got together, his arm wrapped around you, the butterflies fluttering violently in your stomach from how he held your body against his without a stitch of clothing between you two, along with the tender kisses he peppered along your shoulder. It was a routine you'd not only found yourself getting comfortable with, but you were looking forward to it whenever you felt yourself rousing from sleep.
And that part scared the living daylights out of you.
Relationships? Routines? Your mind wandering to that place that you said you never dared think about in the context of being in any kind of relationship again, because the last time you did, the rug got pulled out from under you and threw your life and the future you envisioned into a blender?
You swore to yourself that day all those years ago that you were never going to let yourself get this comfortable. That you would always have your safety measures in place so that you never had to worry about having to scramble your way back up to your feet without any sense of direction.
And you did. You had your measures. You had your walls up. You put your heart under lock and key and said you'd never give it to someone again. Yet here you were, basically opening the chest and telling Tom that it was right there for the taking.
A chest you couldn't close again even if you tried. Even if you wanted to.
The feel of his lips pressing a kiss between your neck and shoulder had you letting out a tiny whimper, making him smile and hum against your skin. "Good morning, goddess."
You were growing concerningly comfortable with that, too.
He moved you until you were lying with your back flat on the mattress, brushing his nose across yours as he gave you a contented smile. "I love you."
You couldn't help the smile that stretched across your own face hearing the words. "Hmm…careful, you keep talking like that I might get used to it."
He laid his lips on yours, giving you a tender kiss as he gently ran his hand down the side of your body before stopping at your hip, his thumb stroking your skin. "I want you to get used to it, because I'll be saying it a lot from now on." His lips traced a line down to the base of your throat. "I love you," he murmured against your skin repeatedly as he kissed along your collarbone.
"I love you, too," you whimpered as he kissed his way down to your stomach, his shaky exhale warming your skin even more. You placed your hand on his shoulder, leading him to refocus his attention to kissing his way up your arm. "I really stepped on the ledge yesterday…" you trailed off, struggling to take a deep breath as you tried to find the words, ultimately settling on the simplest ones. You weren't likely to find better words anyways. "Thank you for talking me off of it."
He took his time kissing his way back up to your lips, never breaking eye contact. "Always, my love." The new endearment, paired with the way he tenderly kissed your lips, had your head spinning. "I'm going out to get us some breakfast. I'll be back in an hour. Go back to sleep, sweetheart."
Those words had you stirring, making a motion to sit up on the bed. "What? No, you don't need to do that, you'll get papped. Gimme a few minutes to get dressed, I'll do it."
"If you go out, they'll photograph you, too," he argued. "Pictures of us are still fresh on their minds, which means these vultures are still very much on the lookout for you out and about, waiting to take pictures in hopes of selling them to the sleaziest gossip sites. Give it a week, maybe two, and they'll refocus their attention on someone else. Them and the internet."
You slumped back into the bed with a soft thud, surrendering to the fact that unfortunately, the logic made sense. You needed a good few days to let your face and those photos fade into relative irrelevancy. "You probably need your team to spin some story on why we were seen together, too," you sighed, the discomfort of having to let the wheels turn in your head before you've even had a bite of food or a sip of coffee starting to make you skittish. "I mean, the saying goes that we can't put the genie back in the bottle, but what if it isn't fully out yet? We still have a chance to…I don't know, mitigate the situation?"
Tom rested his forehead against yours, letting out a deep sigh as he laid back down on the bed as well, pulling you into his arms so that your head rested on his chest. "One day it won't be this toxic."
His words had you giggling, looking up at him and pressing a kiss to his chin. "It's adorable that you think that, but no. But one day maybe the voices of those who would genuinely just be happy for you would be louder than these snakes in the pit with their megaphones. And maybe one day I'll be strong enough to not give a fuck about any of it."
He tightened his hold on you, arms snaking around your body in an embrace that had you falling even more into that dangerous place of way too damn comfortable. "Until then I'm going to do what I can to keep you safe. It'll only be a few weeks at most. Maybe less if we're lucky and someone causes a scandal." He pressed numerous soft kisses to the tip of your nose, breaking out into a smile when his attentions caused you to let out a soft giggle. "For now, I get to keep you in the house. All to myself." His smile turned into a mischievous grin as he rolled you on to your back, rasping the next words, "Like my own beautiful brilliant little captive."
"A very willing captive," you shot back, once again going breathless when he started kissing you all over your neck and chest. "Be careful out there? Don't let them get a reaction out of you, no matter what they ask. Or what they say about me."
"I will," he mumbled, humming against your skin as he placed open-mouthed kisses along the side of your body, nipping at your waist before pulling away. He made his way to his closet, shooting a playful knowing glance at you when he saw how you propped yourself up on your elbows to enjoy the view. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart," he chuckled, throwing on his usual running gear of a black t-shirt with the Legendary logo and black shorts that were definitely a size too small with how the garment hugged and accentuated his hips and upper thighs. Not to mention how those shorts made it all too obvious that your boyfriend happily and proudly chooses neither when it came to the age-old debate of boxers or briefs.
He walked back toward the bed, sitting on the edge and leaning over you to capture your lips in a heated kiss, as if it had been weeks since he'd done it last rather than mere minutes. His hand freely roamed your side, lightly grasping at your hips while he slowly laid you back down flat on the bed. Once he had, he broke the kiss to press his lips to the tip of your nose, then to your forehead.
"I'll wake you when I'm back home. Promise me you won't check on those pages again. None of them deserve our time, or our emotions. I love you, goddess."
"I promise. I love you, too."
A/N: Welcome to the second part of the 'said it first' arc! This would probably be the angstiest moment in their entire relationship and precious bf meow meow really answered her "I'm leaving" with "No ur not I love u 🥺" and we love him for it your honor
Three more parts to this arc and hopefully I can pull myself out of playing my lil games long enough to actually get to writing any of the pieces in my rotation 😅🫡
Here's a gif for everyone who reads 'til the end of the post…this be what the blorbos were like in that last scene:
'everything' taglist:
@simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover
#tom hiddleston x reader#tom hiddleston x female reader#tom hiddleston fanfic#tom hiddleston fanfiction#tom hiddleston imagine#muddyorbs writes
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WAKE UP CALL CUS Y'ALLS THICK ASS SKULLS NEED IT
⚠️ tough love rant, I prob won't be nice to y'all atp, swearing ⚠️
Y'all better stop asking others to manifest for you. Like wtf? You're the fucking creator. Tf are you asking to create it for the creator?? You're God. Just stop whining and complaining. Omfg just stop. Who said you can't manifest? Who said you can't have all the things you desire?? Nobody but you. Like aren't you stupid asshole just tired of that shitty life you're living?? How long are you gonna fucking live this life? It doesn't even benefit you, and you dumbass just keep complaining and thinking about the same old story again and again, and are repeating the same shit again in the 3d 🤦♀️ but still would go on complaining and complaining. Who's the ultimate power in here? YOU.
If you don't keep your thoughts in check and change your reality, who else will? You think a prince Charming or Flynn rider or Marilyn Monroe or mulan will walk into your life and change your entire destiny?? Gross. You're the one in charge and you should work on your mind set. You are the ultimate problem. And with this mindset you're never going anywhere but stay in the same loop until fAtE decides what's gonna happen to you. BULLSHIT. You only gotta work on your mindset alone. Like you don't have to climb the goddamn mount Everest or run 40 miles or do 1000 pushups a day to change yourself. Tf, you only just need to ignore unwanted thoughts and feed in thoughts which is favourable and live in the end, keep yourself fulfilled, that's it. No more bullshit.
Is it that hard?? Like just switching a thought with something favourable is hard? Bitch don't gimme that shit anymore. Trust yourself and move on. You are the only problem here. You don't focus on improving yourself and tell others to manifest or affirm for you. Like tf??? Why tf would you give free will to someone else that's not you? Why do you trust that person so much that you don't trust yourself? Nobody's gonna come with you till the end. Everybody and everything is a chapter and it'll keep moving forward, and you'll still be left behind still figuring out what went wrong.
STOP. JUST. STOP. STOP WITH THAT AND DECIDE THAT YOUR DESIRES ARE HERE AND EVERYTHING IS GOING ON IN YOUR FAVOUR.
Even if you're doing everything and nothing is working out, you haven't fulfilled yourself internally and just forcing the 3d to change. Wtf? You know the 3d obeys the 4d, then why are you inducing disgusting thoughts in the 4d and expect something like a miracle to happen in the 3d?? Make it make sense. You dumb dip shit, I'm gonna slap you in your dreams. I mean you're really dumb. Like just think whatever you want is already yours and it is. Cus the 3d should obey. Like whatever tf you want to happen is possible. Everything is possible. You ugly ass bitch just stop with that complaining and just go do whatever you want to change your thoughts.
Just fucking decide that whatever you want is already yours. It doesn't matter at all. The past doesn't matter at all. What you did 10 years ago doesn't matter. What you did 5 months ago doesn't matter. What you did 4 minutes ago doesn't matter. Only now exists. No past, no future. Just the present moment and that motherfucking concept called time doesn't fucking exist so stop stressing about that shit. Just decide. Bitch just decide that you just have what you want and the past doesn't matter. Just fucking be as if you already have it, don't stress about it. Suppose you have your phone with you, do you affirm for it everyday that it's yours? Or visualize? Hell no. Your phone is just yours. How do feel about it? Actually you'd feel nothing, you just KNOW it's yours. The same concept here you absolute idiot.
If you forgot to do sats, or you didn't affirm or if you wavered 3 minutes ago, or you had negative thoughts, like bitch those things don't matter as long as you come back to the track. It doesn't matter. Stop fucking stressing about methods or affirming. You already have it. Get that shit into your skull. I don't care what you do, I want y'all to start it today, start now. Just decide that's it. You're so dumb that you don't even make mental efforts that lead you to experiencing miracles dumbass. You're like really really dumb that I'm done. Like gimme a break.
JUST FUCKING DECIDE LIKE RN THAT YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT, AND WHATEVER YOU'RE STRESSING ABOUT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR DESIRES BITCH.
Like why would you assume that nothing is changing?? There's always movement and you dumbass don't notice it. Even if you see that there's no movement, that's because you idiot assumed there wasn't any. You gotta take matters in your own hand you dip shit. Don't fucking get triggered by the 3d cus it's just your older thoughts and nothing else. Your new thoughts that you focus on should also be reflected in the 3d like instantly. There's no time in between, like really fuck that shit. The minute you affirm, it's already manifested in the 4d bitch. You don't gotta stress at all you dumb ass. The 4d is the ultimate reality. You just gotta be fulfilled here. How? By LIVING AS IF YOU ALREADY HAVE IT OR LIVING IN THE END. The 3d will catch up as you remain fulfilled in the 4d, like almost instantly. Is this a harder concept to understand?? For example, you wear a green dress and look in the mirror, you see the reflection wearing green dress too. Cus it's a fucking mirror and it shows you what you wear. Suddenly you wanna wear a purple dress, and you change your dress and look in the mirror and the mirror shows you purple dress cus you're wearing it. THE SAME FUCKING CONCEPT HERE. THE GREEN DRESS IS THE 4D AND THE MIRROR IS THE 3D. YOU CHANGE THE 4D (DRESS) FIRST IN ORDER TO SEE DRESS YOU'RE WEARING IN THE MIRROR (3D). HOWEVER, YOU GOTTA CHANGE THE DRESS TO SEE THE CHANGE IN THE REFLECTION. What y'all do is, go fucking break or beg the mirror to show you that you're wearing a purple dress when infact you're still wearing the green one 🙄🤦♀️ and complain that it's not showing what you want. Like which planet are exactly from?? Like tf is wrong with your dumbass brain?? Make it make sense. Change the dress and go see the changed reflection of the dress.
Just fucking stop with that bullshit and go fucking have whatever you want. You're God. Like what validation do you fucking need?? You're the validation. Your validation is enough. If your desires don't manifest instantly or like in less than a day, then you aren't fulfilling yourself internally. You aren't fulfilled yet. Cus it's impossible for the delay. Time doesn't exist. There's no fucking delay. It should be instant. Like just fulfill yourself, do whatever you think works. Don't go so something someone posted on the internet and complain about not getting results dumbass. You already have it all. You're the main character, so stop behaving like a stray dog.
Peace out <3
#wake up call#law of assumption#neville goddard#advaita vedanta#non dualism#voidstate#reality shifting#Spotify
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IF YOU WANT .
cowgirl!abby x reader
summary ; after having seemingly nothing ahead of you for what felt like years but was really just months, your mother finds a new opportunity for you, a new purpose to linger in your life, but is it made for you?
cw ; switch!abby, switch!reader, slow burn, southern au, eventual smut, abby denying her feelings for the longest time ever, hair braiding!! , catching butterflies, will-they-won't-they, arguments but coming from a nice place , closeted/unsure!abby, sharing a bed, slight homophobia, teaching abby how to play a piano, cuddling on accident and on purpose, slight praise kink from both sides, abby teaches you how to ride a horse , dancing!!, baking, injury , reader is scared of dogs ok , NO use of y/n , rrrrrr idk this will probs be added to
a/n ; is it ok that i added stuff to the content warning that'll be in future chapters just not this one and isn't all smutty stuff or is that not ok????? also sorry the caps are ugly i feel improper without them.
A slick heat beat down on your hair, snuffing any previously made attempts at improving it's state, and the journey you had just taken had worn you of any care for it by this point. Growing up in England only made matters worse, severely unpreparing you for this sort of weather, and you dreaded the fact that this was all you'd be feeling for who knows how long. Suitcases were hauled from your mother's car , safely situated at your side before she brought you into a crushing hug, one that had you groaning at the pressure.
"Make sure you write, you know how worried me and your father'll be." She said sternly, hands holding your shoulders.
"Yeah, I know. I will." You replied just as adamantly.
"Okay, good. You make sure you have fun now, okay? Oh , and remember-" your mother rambled on , which you were sure was just her way of keeping you back longer.
"Remember my manners, yeah, I got it." You interrupted. You truly were going to miss her and your father, but you were sure if she was here any longer she might just cave and stay eith you, which you did not want. A warm smile curled against her lips, crows feet appearing at the corners of her eyes.
"Look at you, my sweet girl, all grown up." She sighed dreamily and you couldn't help but grin, eyes rolling lightheartedly.
"Yeah, yeah." You dismissed, bringing her into one last crushing hug before exchanging small 'goodbyes' and 'i love you's' before she reluctantly got back into her car and headed off, leaving you to sit on a bench, awaiting your ride.
Your mother had been friends with a man called Jerry Anderson for longer than you could recall, and after one of their most recent catchups, the topic of you had eventually been picked up. You had always been a good student, exceptional grades whilst maintaining a stable social life and everyone had always expected big things from you, only once you had graduated university, your whole life had come to a standstill and it was starting to look like you'd be living at home forever. That was until Jerry brought up the fact his daughter, Abby, could use some tutoring, and it was settled before you'd even known ; you were going to tutor his daughter.
You didn't know why, nor did you even care really. As long as it gave you something to do with your life , you would do it. Being a picture perfect role model and ending up this way was no short of humiliating , and no amount of concealing it from everyone else could hide the truth from yourself.
"Tsch, what the fuck is this signal?" You groan quietly as you attempt to do anything with your phone to distract you from the boredom looming over your body and the nervousness pooling in your stomach, filling the gaps between you organs in a sickly warm way. Thankfully for you, a truck pulls up , usefully arriving at the exact time discussed. This never would've happened back home. You hate the fact you feel homesick already.
A door opens and you stand up, shaking the hand of the man in front of you. He's taller by a few inches, maybe 3 or 4, hair which is seemingly quite long done up in a neat ponytail and you're almost jealous of the way it sticks better than your hair, messily braided by yourself, a skill you've never mastered. You're sure you could, but between studies and friends and family, you'd never had the time.
"So you're the one who's gonna be putting up with Abs, huh?" He teases playfully with an accent you weren't expecting, sounding far more Spanish than Southern, pulling his hand away to grab your suitcases, an act of chivalry you're not too acquainted with.
"Abs?" You questioned.
"Oh, Abby." He corrected. You nodded in recognition, slightly humiliated you didn't link the two.
"Yeah, I guess." You say, climbing into the passenger seat of his burgundy truck. The seats are slightly worn, objects strewn across here and there, but nothing grotesque. He gets in and starts the engine up before beginning to drive. A heavy silence hangs in the air, once he seems to be a lot more comfortable with in comparison to your agitated state.
"So...what's she like?" You ask reluctantly, unsure on whether making conversation is a food idea. You don't even know him, and you're not sure he's worth getting to know.
"Abby? She's smart, really, just not got the right knowledge to get outta this place. Listens real well too, always got an eye for seeing things about people. She's nice to be around, awkward if you don't know her though. Real funny too, but don't tell her I said that." He explains. His carefree attitude irritates you slightly. This is all business to you.
"Why's she want to leave?" You ask, testing the waters, unsure od where the boundaries lie. Manny shrugs his shoulders.
"I never really asked. Why'd you leave?" He counters, confusing you.
"Huh?"
"I mean, you had this whole life n now you're here, what's up with that?" He explains himself, eyes flicking to you slightly before returning to the road.
You shrug slowly, staring down at the objects you can see here and there.
"Dunno. Just...not much left for me back there, or something." You say vaguely. He doesn't pry, which you like.
"So, what's England like?" He asks.
You find yourself settling into a comfortable conversation with him, the soft sound of music playing on the radio as a mere background noise. You find you don't dislike him as much anymore.
The town is small, definitely smaller than anything you've ever seen, and it's equally shocking how friendly everybody is. Every person you pass says hey or at least waves. It should decrease your nerves and allow you to relax a little, but it has you even more jittery. You're noticing how much you stand out even more as things go on. Most people are dressed in shorts , dresses, tank tops, skirts, anything that let's what little cool breeze circulate their body and suddenly you wish you'd acquired more taste in clothes that go beyond your usual jeans , long or occasionally short sleeved shirt and converse combo. You make sure to make a mental note to go shopping as Manny continues to drive.
A wooden, clearly old house (though better described as a cottage) slowly emerged into view. The paint was cracked in some areas, however other parts looked freshly applied, so, putting two and two together, you assumed there was renovations being done.
"So...how many people, y'know...fit in that?" You asked Manny, unsure there was going to be enough space for everything.
"Oh well, Abby has her own place not too far from here so it's actually just been her dad." He explained as they pulled up into the dirt driveway before getting out. You went for your suitcases, slightly protective over them in such a unfamiliar setting, but Manny was quick to wave you off, getting them out himself. You followed awkwardly behind, unsure of yourself ; wondered if it was too late to turn back now.
"Manny, hey!" Jerry called out, leaving his position on the couch to wrap Manny up in a hug before holding his hand out to you.
"Hey, it's so good to see you." Jerry greeted politely. You have a slight smille, your mother's words lingering in the back of your mind.
"You too."
"I'll go check on your room. D'you want a drink or anything?" He asked to which you shook your head.
"No thank you."
"Alright." He said before heading upstairs, leaving your eyes to scan the house. The place was well painted, a stark contrast to the outside of the house. Lace curtains adorned almost every window, walls covered in random paintings, some hand drawn personally, some purchased from nearby stores. A few coffee mugs lay out, a couple records here and there. It was warm, obviously lived in and taken care of. The wooden floorboards creaked slightly as you slowly moved along, trying to remain inconspicuous and subtle in your curiousness which felt lot like snooping to you. Your fingers reached out to run along the record player held on a tidy shelf, only filled otherwise with a plant and some cds for the car before you heard scrambling paws on wood and, before you could even move, a dog jumping up at you.
Your first instinct was to instantly recoil, retracting your hand back as you stepped back unsteadily. You did not like dogs. Small ones were tolerable at the most, but big ones were crossing the line by a mile, and this was a big dog. In all reality it just wanted to play and was excited by the presence of somebody new, but you couldn't consider that right now.
"Hey, Alice, c'mon, get down." A soft , almost silky smooth voice laughed awkwardly, a voice you were not yet familiar with. The dog - Alice - retreated, allowing you to look up qt the woman who had just entered. Dirty blonde hair, probably considerably long however the proper length went undetermined due to it being tied up in a tight braid. She was a little like an ox ; viisibly muscular, slightly taller by 3 inches , yet her demeanour was anything but. Her hand reached out to yours. You stared at it, unmoving.
"Hey, s' good to see you. I'm Abby." She greeted as warmly as she could. Abby. The girl you were tutoring. Your lack of movement and response caused her to pull her hand back awkwardly.
"Not much of a hand shaker?" She asked, clearly desperate to fill the silence hanging in the air like thick fog, threatening to suffocate the two of you.
"Not really." You lied, knowing full well you could still feel the texture of everyone's hands you had shaken on your skin (yes, everyone was two people). Today seemed to be going your way for a split second as Jerry came in, however all hope was quickly disintegrated.
"So uh, bad news. There's been a leakage in one of the pipes , the one right above your room and I wouldn't wanna make you stay in that." He explains, features and tone nothing but apologetic.
"Oh." You say. If a long journey with an over-emotional mother and heat that had your clothes sticking to you in the mosf uncomfortable ways humanely possible wasn't bad enough, this was the final tipping point.
"We can pay for you to stay at a motel for you for now but-"
"She can stay with me?" Abby interrupts, quick to add onto her words for a reason you can't quite place your finger on.
"Cause, y'know, she's my tutor and all so it's just easier than going back and forth to different houses and I can take the couch." She explains, rambling on and on incessantly, hands moving and curving. It'd be annoying if you weren't so exhausted.
"Okay yeah, if that's okay with you?" Jerry asked you to which you shrugged absentmindedly.
"Sure." You agreed.
If you thought the silence in the house around two other people was bad, you were infinitely wrong. Being sat next to someone you barely know in dead silence, only provided the whirring of the car to fuel your thoughts, was a nightmare. You could briefly notice her opening her mouth every so often , and you assumed that she was going to ask why you were here and for some reason couldn't. Her eyes constantly flicked to you, desperate you would say something first to do you both a favour. You didn't.
"So uh, why'd you-" she began.
"Hey, Abby? I really don't want to be rude but, I'm exhausted." You interrupted, pleading with everything in you that she would take the hint and be quiet, which thankfully, she did. You almost felt bad. Almost.
The rest of the car journey was done in silence, and you didn't even bother looking at her house nor examining the contents of it as though you were doing a quick in-and-out shopping trip, walking in and being lead up to her room , suitcases placed down before she rambled on about something you couldn't even grasp the concept of the second she opened her lips to speak.
"Um, anyways, g'night." She murmured, awkwardly going to leave the room. Watching her walk out of the door like a dog with it's tail between it's legs was enough for you to give in and soothe her nerves slightly with an exaggerated sigh.
"Hey Abby?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
It was the first time you'd seen her smile or look even slightly relaxed all day.
#abby tlou#abby anderson#abby the last of us#abby x fem!reader#the last of us#fluff#eventual smut#little angst#abby fluff#abby smut#abby angst#wlw#sapphic#minors dni#awkward#idk how to tag this#tlou au#tlou2#praise k!nk#soft sex#soft love#cuties#horse#how do i even tag this
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OMG IGNORE THE OTHER ASK ME I MEANT MORE BIG BROTHER SUKUNA ur first one was rlly good (poor yuji) but it was rlly good 😜
summary: being with sukuna is like riding a seesaw. good thing his sweet, younger brother, yuji, is there to hear about your problems and be a shoulder to lean on. too bad you don't feel the same for him.
a/n: a part two! i wanted to continue with the band au thing that I wrote about in the first part. i was rewatching victorious and oml jade and beck is kinda of what i picture y/n and sukuna being like (but like more intense). song used is "you don't know me" by Elizabeth gillies (the actress for jade) (here's the link)
warning(s): mentions of toxic relationship, sexual acts!!, leading on (mostly on yuji's part), one-sided feelings (again on yujis part I'm sorry bb), mentions of manga characters not yet introduced in the anime (yorozu and kashimo hajime)
"I told you that I don't want you talking to her anymore! She keeps fucking flirting with you, and I don't like it!" you yell at Sukuna, and like always he rolls his eyes at your antics. Scoffing, you cross your arms and wait for Sukuna to say something, anything at this point to ease your worries.
"Yeah, and I fucking told you that you're overreacting. Yorozu's always like that," he replied, his face pulled into a nasty scowl, his eyes narrowing into a cold gaze. His words do little to ease your anger (or worry) and cause more rage to flare in you.
"Are you fucking kidding me? That's it? That's your excuse for her basically fucking herself on you the entire night?!" you scoff. You think back to how this whole fight started, and a deep pit at the bottom of your stomach starts to form.
Why hadn't you listened to your friends? They knew the type of guy Sukuna was and they warned you about getting involved with him. How someone like him would never allow himself to be tied down to one girl. How he wasn't "boyfriend" material at all.
And they were right. Even though your relationship with Sukuna had evolved past that of a one-night stand to the point where you'd see each other for dinner or even movies, that didn't stop him from basking in the attention of other girls, Yorozu specifically.
Ugh, you hated her the moment that Sukuna had introduced the two of you. The boom of the music that always filled you with a rush of adrenaline and energy seemed to dull as your eyes landed on the girl who clutched onto Sukuna's arm and pushed her boobs into his frame. Her love-sick eyes that always followed him and that ugly high-pitched laugh of hers set off something ugly in you.
The sound of the door opening makes the two of you turn. Yuji walks through the door, his gym bag slung on his shoulder and hair a little matte with sweat. His tired figure seemingly brightens up the second his eyes fall on you, and he's smiling oh-so sweetly at you. It doesn't last long as he notices how there are tears pricking the ends of your eyes and how your arms are crossed in anger.
He's quick to put his gym bag down, head over to you, and place a hand on the small of your back. "You ok? Did Sukuna say something rude to you?" he asks, his voice and eyes filled with nothing but sincere worry and softness.
Sukuna's quick to scoff, and before he knows it, he shoves Yuji away from you. "She's fucking fine," he spits out. Without another word, he turned on the ball of his feet and headed towards his room. His door-slamming echoes throughout the apartment, and with him gone, you finally let your tears fall.
Strong, warm arms are quick to wrap around you as you let your head lean on Yuji's shoulder. Small hiccups leave your lips as Yuji whispers sweet nothings into your ears and rubs comforting circles into your back. "I-I just need to go. I'm sorry, Yuji," you say and quickly step out of his arms and grab your bag from the couch.
"I'm always here for you if you need anything," the pink-haired boy says, and there's a strange tug at your heart. A small and quick 'thanks' is all you can muster before rushing out and away from the apartment.
"You think you're so funny, huh?" Sukuna sneers at you, his eyes glaring down into yours as he holds your wrists together. His leg pushes between your thighs, and a whimper falls from your lips as you feel the familiar hot warmth pulse throughout your body.
"Do-Don't know what you're ta-talking 'bout," you manage to say, lying straight to Sukuna's face. It seems you both know that you're lying, and he lets out a deep chuckle as he lowers his lips to bite into your shoulder. A yelp escapes your lips before you try to hold back a moan.
"Really? So, you weren't throwing yourself on Kashimo like some slut?" Sukuna says back. Your eyes narrow into a glare as your gaze meets his. You can feel his boner pressing into your thigh, and you hate how you can feel yourself getting wet.
"Fuck you," you spit at him, and he laughs again.
"That's the plan, darling."
"Are you sure you are good to go on, y/n? You look like shit," Shoko says, a cig hanging from her lips. A puff of smoke follows, and you grimace as you try to wave it away from you.
"I'm good. Just kinda tired," is all you say, and Shoko doesn't look entirely impressed with your answer. She sighs before putting her cig out and holding your hand in hers.
"Maybe it's time you put an end to whatever you have with Sukuna," she whispers quietly enough so that Satoru and Suguru don't hear it (even though you're pretty sure they're listening in anyway since they, too, are worried about you). And you hate how she says it, "whatever." Shit, you hate that it accurately sums up the relationship between you and Sukuna. Because, in truth, you don't know what you and Sukuna are anymore. You two argue, you fuck, you go out to parties together and then go back to arguing. You don't remember ever having fun together like you did in the beginning. Instead, you've gotten so used to your routine that you've begun looking forward to what happens sometimes after you argue.
How when Yuji comes back to the apartment, and you and Sukuna are in the middle or nearing the end of a yelling match, he'll whisk you away and look at you with those love-filled eyes. How he'll tell you some stupid story that happened to him and his friends, or how he'll take you to the nearby ice cream shop in hopes that it'll cheer you up. How your heart feels much heavier every time you say goodbye to him, and you catch a glimpse of his red, rosy cheeks.
You know that Yuji likes you, but not in a friendly way. No, that he genuinely wants to be in Sukuna's place. He wants to treat you so much better than his older brother does. And you know he would, but you simply can't feel the same for him. No matter how much ice cream you eat or how many stories he tells you, your heart doesn't beat the same for him as it does for Sukuna. And you feel so incredibly guilty about how you let him take you away from your big-bad-scary 'whatever' and act like the two of you are together.
With a huff, you stand up and down the rest of your drink before smiling back at your bandmates. "It's almost time for us to go on."
How fucking shameless can Sukuna be? you think as your gaze sweeps the crowd and lands on him and his friends. Uraume (who you actually like and you think likes you back) is bobbing their head to the beat of the current song while Mahito cheers wildly (he's so wasted) and Hajime is sipping on his drink, and of course, Yorozu is wrapped all around Sukuna.
His eyes aren't on her, though. No, they're staring straight back into yours, and you hate how, after all this time, it still sends a shiver down your spine. The world seems to fade away as you finish the last line of the song, and you're turning to bandmates. "We're doing the new one," is all you say, and they're quick to grin back at you and follow your request.
You think you know me but you don't know me
You think you own me but you can't control me
You look at me and there's just one thing that you see
So listen to me, listen to me!
Your grip on the mic tightens as you push your hair out of your face, a flush rising on your neck. The crowd seems to roar even louder.
You push me back, I push you back, harder, harder
You scream at me, I scream at you, louder, l-l-l-l-louder
I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me and I can't convince you
You don't know me
Sukuna shoves Yorozu off his arm as he takes a couple steps forward. There's a smirk growing on his face as your eyes meet again, and there's an ugly but warm pleasure that spreads throughout your body.
And the longer that you stay, the ice is melting
And the pain feels okay, it feels okay, hey
You think back to all your arguments with Sukuna, and for a second, you wonder if that's what love really is. Is it supposed to leave you feeling overwhelmed and enraged to the point where you feel too addicted to that same feeling? Well, whatever you think. Maybe it's not supposed to feel that way to other people, but to you and Sukuna, that's what makes the two of you work.
All the pain and yelling is what keeps your hearts beating for one another, and maybe it's toxic and not right. But who cares.
You push me back, I'll push you back
You scream at me, I'll scream at you louder, louder
Louder, louder, louder, louder
Louder! Louder! Louder
Maybe you're both messed up to keep 'whatever' going on, destroying one another and then rebuilding one another through sex. Maybe you're more messed up for dragging poor, innocent Yuji into your hideous cycle. For making him think that perhaps one day you'll wake up and throw yourself into his arms.
You push me back, I push you back, harder, harder
You scream at me, I scream at you, louder, l-l-l-l-louder
I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me and I can't convince you
Poor Yuji, having feelings for someone who already seems to be taken by his cruel older brother. He watches you sing your heart out and shine so beautifully that he knows the flush on his cheeks isn't from the alcohol. He notices that your eyes always seem to go back to the same spot, and as he turns his head, his heart drops as he sees Sukuna standing there, his cheeks flushed a deep red and grin now replacing his smirk.
He watches the spark grow brighter between the two of you, and every nerve in his body tells him to leave. But he can't, not when he starts to see a love-filled grin start to spread on your face.
His heart seems to come back to life as it beats faster while he watches you perform. Someone bumps into him, and then he's brought back to the reality that your gaze and grin aren't directed at him.
And I don't have to, I think you know me
#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#sukuna#yuji itadori#yuji x reader#yuji itadori x reader#yuji itadori angst#im sorry yuji my bb#i think i may have a problem when it comes to writing about sukuna eheheh#toxic sukuna#jjk x reader#angsty jjk#i hopes this lives up to the hype of my first blub#oml this turned into a whole fic when i initially planned for it to be another blurb#rewatching victorious was so therapeutic oml my childhood#literally love jade she was always my fave
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Perfect- Reiner x black!reader
Pairing: Reiner x chubbyblack!reader
Warnings: oral sex (f.recieving), unprotexted sex, creampies, body worship, mentions overstimulation, a little fluffy at the end
wc: 1.4k
You laid in bed with your boyfriend, Reiner, as he scrolled to find a movie for you to watch.
“There’s nothing on here” he stated as he continued to scroll
“”Wait baby! Coraline!” you said with excitement as you saw your favorite movie pop up on the screen
“Okay love, let's watch Coraline”. He clicked the movie and pulled you in closer
As you and Reiner were cuddling he used his large hands to rub all over your body, something he always did when you laid with him.
His hand traveled to your lower abdomen where he squeezed the soft flesh. You hated this part of your body and it secretly bothered you that he loved to grab it
“Rei, stop” you whined as you tried to move his hand
“What does that tickle” he asked with a grin then went in to tickle you on purpose
You giggled and tried to escape his grasp as he tickled your belly.
“No babe stop” you said between laughs “no i just don't like when you grab me right there”
He lifted his head to look at you, “what? You don't like when I grab your stomach? Why?”
You let out a sigh, “because Rei, I hate that part of my body. I get upset looking at it and I don't like when you grab it. It's so ugly to me”
You felt yourself fighting back tears. When you first met Reiner you were a few pounds smaller but as your relationship went on the happy weight began to stick. You felt self conscious about it and feared Reiner would find you disgusting
“Awe baby” he said as he turned you around to face him in the bed “im so sorry you feel that way. I think you're absolutely beautiful” he grabbed a handful of your belly again
“Reiner please. I don't like it, I have stretch marks and everything. I wish I was like you and could commit to the gym but I'm just so tired after work most days and i just feel disgusting.” You were crying at this point.
You had never expressed to your boyfriend how you felt about yourself and hearing your confession broke Reiner’s heart. He loved you exactly the way you are and he felt as if he didn't do his job, as your man, to make you feel safe and confident
He laid you on your back and crawled on top of you. He gave you soft kisses on your lips and all over your face. He lowered himself down to your stomach and lifted your shirt. You tried to cover yourself with your arms but he quickly moved them out his way
He started peppering kisses all over your stomach, “i love this so much baby” he says as he gets down to your lower belly.
He starts kissing and softly biting your lower stomach. He licked every single one of your stretch marks and gave each one a soft kiss.
The feeling of your boyfriend kissing all over you sent butterflies to your pussy and a wet spot stained your panties
His kisses trailed lower but he purposely skipped your cunt to be a tease
Reiner began kissing the stretch marks on your inner thighs. He continued the same action he did on your stomach making sure every single stretch mark was kissed and licked
“You're so beautiful my baby. I love every part of you” he stated as he kissed you in between your thighs
He finally moved his head to your pussy and placed a soft kiss on your clothed clit. You whined and squirmed but he held your hips so you wouldn't move.
He placed his large hands on the underside of your thighs and lifted them on his shoulders. Reiner began licking you through your panties
“Reiner please” you begged
He grinned as he moved your panties to the side and immediately attached his lips to your swollen clit. He sucked softly and moans spilled out of your mouth. You spread your legs even wider and you back arched off the bed.
“You're so perfect, baby. so fucking perfect” he said as he started to lick up and down your folds
The vibrations from him talking sent a shockwave through your body.
“I cant believe you’re all mine, princess. This perfect little angel belongs to me” he continued praising you as his sucks became harder and he added a finger into your soaked hole
He curled his finger and rubbed on your g-spot while sucking on your clit. The feeling had you seeing stars. Your stomach turned into a knot and your brain went cloudy.
Your back arched even more and you tried to close your thighs but your boyfriend was too strong. You reached your orgasm and spilled into Reiner’s mouth
He lifted his head to look at you and you loved how his face glistened from your essence.
He licked his lips then came up to give you a kiss.
Reiner was always a good kisser but this one felt different. There was more passion in this one, as if he was expressing all his love in one kiss. Every feeling he had for you was all poured into this one moment and you began crying.
He pulled back from the kiss and gave a confused look
“I just love you so much” you stated as you looked up at him
Reiner gave you a soft smile and started going on about how much he loved you
“I love you baby, so so much” he stated as he hooked his finger under your panties and slipped them off, “ you are the most beautiful woman i've ever laid eyes on”
He moved to your shirt and began slipping it off your body. You were feeling self conscious but you knew your boyfriend loved you no matter what.
Reiner took his own clothes off and then positioned himself on top of you
“God, its like looking at an angel” he said as he lowered his face to kiss you
He sighed as he slid into you
“You feel so good baby” he whispered against your lips
He was moving his hips slowly, taking his time with you. Reiner wanted to enjoy your body tonight, and reassure you that no one in this world could make him feel as good as you.
“You're so amazing, princess.” he whispered as he lifted one of your legs. The angle allowed him to reach deeper and you felt him hitting your cervix
“fuck – that feels so good baby” you whined from under him
His pace continued and he never took his eyes off you. The whole time he was on top of you he was mesmerized with your look
Reiner loved the way your eyebrows furrowed as you reached your orgasm. He loved your eyes as they were filled with tears from overstimulation. He loved the way your curls were spread across the pillow under your head. He loved your lips as you bit them from the pleasure
But most of all reiner loved the way your body looked. He loved your stomach that rolled as he had you folded under him. He loved the way your breasts bounced with each thrust. Reiner loved your body down to every stretch mark
You were his angel in every way and there was no doubt that he loved you the way you are
“So pretty, baby, you're so beautiful” he groaned as he sped up.
He was close to his own climax and his movement grew sloppy and his groans were louder than you at this point
“Cum in me, Rei please” you begged because you knew he was close
He let out one final groan as he released inside of you, filling you with his seed
He placed his forehead on yours as he came down from his high.
“Baby please, don't ever think you don't look good. I love you exactly the way you are and i wouldn't trade you for the world” he said to you as he tried to catch his breath
He slid out of you and pulled you into his chest and with a soft kiss on your forehead he said, “ i love you Y/N, always have, always will”
The lump in your throat stopped you from responding to your boyfriend. No matter how you felt, Reiner never fell short with his reassurance.
You snuggled closer to your man and dozed off in his arms knowing you are loved.
Rachel
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can you write smth for verstappen!reader and charles leclerc? and max tries to break them apart and they break up bc of him and then they’re both miserable and then max sees how happy they are together and lets them get back together? smth like that tysm 😭💕
OMG I LUV THIS SO MUCH
pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader
warnings: swearing
a/n: sorry this took so long 😭 hope y'all enjoy!
masterlist
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It wasn't a secret around the Ferrari paddock that you were dating Charles Leclerc, but it also wasn't a secret that you are the Max Verstappen's sister. Not that your brother was very aware of your dating life. *cough* that your boyfriend is Charles *cough* He would flip if he knew.
Oh and he did flip, when he found out.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" max yelled, stomping towards you and Charles who had bolted apart when they heard max.
You looked around nervously not making eye contact, "nothing" you said.
"nothing?!" Max arched an eyebrow. He looks at your boyfriend giving him the death glare. You look at Charles pleading him to not say anything.
Max wins, "I'm sorry" Charles says.
You don't make eye contact, but pull Charles close to you, "Max. I'd like you to meet my boyfriend" you turn to max and smile. Charles chuckles nervously.
"boyfriend?!" You nod at his words. "Y/n you're dating my rival?!"
"yep" you smile, then turn and say "sorry brother but we gotta go" and with that you and Charles walk away.
-
This night was not going how it was planned, you planned for a night out with your boyfriend because you hadn't been spending as much time together recently, well ever since max found out. You weren't sure if the reason he was distancing himself was because he was A) afraid of max, B) Max had given him some sort of talk (or yell), C) he was really busy, or D) he just didn't want to hang out.
You were really hoping it wasn't the last option. So now here you were sitting across from Charles at a restaurant of his choosing. Sitting in this stupid dress, getting into a stupid argument over the silliest thing, that turned into an argument about max's reaction to your relationship. And Max taking his feelings out on the track.
The yelling turned heads at the restaurant. Eventually the two of you made your way out of the restaurant, you were sure if the two of you were a cartoon characters smoke would be coming out of your ears.
The night ended so ugly. "I HATE YOU. I. HATE. YOU." you yelled at Charles. "I never, ever want to see you again!"
Charles' features softened almost, the realization of what was happening hitting him, "FINE!" He yelled angrily back, "I hope you have a terrible life y/n"
With that you slammed the door in his face. As soon as it shut, you slid down the door sobs erupting from you.
-
It had been a couple weeks since you had seen Charles. You really didn't want to go to the race and face the chance of seeing Charles, but Max really wanted you there. So begrudgingly you agreed to go.
You showed up to the race wearing all black and sunglasses. The moment you stepped into the Red Bull paddock and Christian tried to greet you, you gave a bland "Hello" and sat down at one of the chairs and watched everyone work. Everyone got the message that you clearly didn't want to be there and were only there for their star racer, your brother.
It was a good race, Max won, again. Of course you were happy for him but you weren't really in the mood to celebrate. However you joined max and the rest of the grid at a club to celebrate. You couldn't help but wonder if Charles would be there. Probably not because he had a shit race not even finished, getting a DNF. You didn't want to feel bad for him, bit a small pang of guilt coursed through you thinking you may have been the cause of his DNF.
You were leaning against the bar, a stiff drink in your hand. When you felt someones eyes on you, a very familiar pair of eyes, you turned in around, your eyes meeting his. He looked away quickly. He looked almost sad.
Max had turned around just in time to catch this interaction. The realization finally hits him of how happy the two of you were together, and that he might actually be the cause of your misery. Suddenly feeling guilty for being happy when the two broke up. Now realizing what he must do.
-
He knew he had to get the two of you back together. Now he just had to come up with a plan. It was the most cliched plan ever trapping them in a room together to force them to talk it out. He told Carlos his plan, Carlos thought it was brilliant, since he could see the pain in his teammate's eyes ever since the two of you broke up. Carlos tested the group chat saying to meet at max's room to have a guys night. Then, Max texted you telling you to meet him in his room before dinner.
When you got to his room Max claimed he had a call he had to take and stepped outside for a bit, you didn't miss the note sitting on the table but before you could investigate someone knocked, you assumed it was max who accidentaly closed his door on his way out. When you opened it you where met with the face of the last man you wanted to see.
"What are you doing here?" you asked almost slamming the door in his face.
"I'm here to hang with the guys, why are you here?" he retorted. "he said he had something important to say" Then you saw your brother come out of nowhere push the two of you inside and lock the door, you finally realized that the lock was on the outside of the door.
"That little shit"you mumbled under your breath.
"What?" Charles asked, "what is happening?" CHarles asked looking around the room frantically finally his eyes settled on the paper in your hand.
"My idiot brother set this up" you sighed, rolling your eyes.
"What does the letter say?"
Dear Y/N and Charles,
I am so sorry that I screwed this up for you two.
Now get your heads out of your asses and fucking MAKE UP!
The two of you are clearly fucking MISERABLE without the other.
Your favorite person,
Max
"That little shit" you repeated again much louder this time.
"Is- is it true?" Charles finally asked. You tilted your head as if to question. "Did I really hurt you that much?"
You just nodded slowly, "are- are you hurt too Charles? Or did I imagine the pain in your eyes in the club?" Slowly but surely the two of you were inching closer to each other.
"I've really missed you y/n/n" Charles spoke softly, he reached for your hand but pulled back afraid of your possible reaction.
"I miss you too" you replied grabbing his hand, entwining your fingers. "I can't believe I let my brother of all people get in between us" you let out a light chuckle.
"Can we just forget these past weeks never happened?" Charles asked so politely.
You smiled, looking him in the eyes, "Alright ask me"
"Ask you what?" He asked.
"You know what" you replied.
Charles rolled his eyes, "y/n y/l/n will you make me the happiest man and be my girlfriend?"
"Yes you idiot of course, I love you" you pulled Charles into you, your lips meeting his.
"I missed you so fucking much" Charles mumbled pulling away.
"And?" you replied littering kisses all over his face.
"And I love you so much" he laughed, pulling you back in for another deep kiss.
"Please never leave me again" you whispered.
"Never."
As you leaned in for another kiss you could hear your brother and a couple other friends on the other side of the door peering in through the window shouting yes and high-fiving.
You and Charles laughed foreheads touching.
-✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧-
taglist
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x verstappen!reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x fem!reader#f1#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen x sister!reader#charles leclerc x y/n#formula one
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‘Good Girl’
Dr Strange x fem!reader
- i got a request for a forbidden love type fic and fuck me this took long. but this inc the best smut i’ve written in a while so bon appetite. enjoy sluts x
You caught onto Stephen's stare, he was glaring at you with that severe look you've come to expect from him on nights like this. It was like he was testing you. Teasing you. Punishing you for something neither of you could have freely. But all you could do was meet his cool breezy eyes that were filling to the brim with a near calculated hubris and undignified jealousy. The kind you haven't seen since all of this started
-
You found yourself tossing and turning over thoughts you shouldn't have about a person you shouldn't even be focused on. What was it about Stephen Strange? The man was an anomaly, you don't think you've ever seen him smile let alone blink. Stephen was interesting, you wanted to know more about him, uncover all the secrets wrapped up like a movie reel but he'd never let anyone come close. His trust was always compromised and he had to protect his peace, he was the ruler of self preservation but...you wanted to wreck the bubble he lived in. Before a mission briefing, he held the door open for you, his face was hard and expressionless but his eyes bore into yours with a certain sincerity that made you halt in your tracks.
You had an inkling about the way this made you feel, and you didn't like it. Why? Because it was against the rules, the rules that were designed to be adhered to or you'd get the boot from this team that you worked so hard to get onto. Though it was difficult for you to deny that there was a weird spark settling over your heat everytime you were near him, what made it all the more embarrassing and terrifying was that you were sure he caught onto it
These thoughts buzzed your brain awake. Constantly glancing at your clock didn't do yourself any justice either, for fucks sake it was 1 in the morning and you still couldn't sleep. It was suddenly becoming too hot. You flung the covers off of you and sighed into nothing. Your mouth turned dry and to your dismay you had no water left in your bedside bottle. You hung your head and groaned into your pillow, though it was surprising to see your feet had finally found the floor. Grabbing your bottle, you trudged into the light praying that this was all just a fleeting whirlwind that would end soon
You were good. You were a good girl. You listened to the rules, you were happy in your position. All you needed to do now was stay good. Not matter if the void was calling you
Stephen wasn't an angel. He was blinded by his own self importance and he's made a few albeit questionable decisions that could have put the others at risk. He looked as if he'd seen every single aspect of life-the good, hopeful and the downright ugly. He was experienced...you weren't
All you had to do now was avoid him, no matter the expense.
You left your room and padded down to the kitchen to fill up the bottle, maybe grab a midnight snack in the process- you more than deserved the treat. Although to your suprise, the lights leading to the kitchen were still on. It was probably Natasha or someone else that didn't care about your appearance at this moment, you were counting on it. You approached with caution, however.
And suprise fucking surprise. It was him- the one you had planned on avoiding.
Stephen darted his head up, he was fixing himself a stiff drink at such an unholy hour. You stopped in your movements, stilling at the sight of him like a deer in the headlights. Your heart stopped and pounded against your chest when you finally regained the breath that fled you. Why the fuck was he here? He's not supposed to be here
‘’Oh. Hey.’’ Stephen regarded you with a thick heavy voice. It was so incredibly jarring to see him wear normal clothes, your wild eyes scanned to see he was wearing a plain dark tee and some sweatpants- that clung onto him like a second skin.
"Hey. Aren't you supposed to be at the Sanctum?’’ You found your way around the counter to the sink.
To Stephen's shock, you attempted to keep your cool. He wanted to laugh. He had never seen you ty so hard to act normal- it was amusing and slightly endearing.
Hm.
‘’I just needed to pick up a few things. Most importantly this bourbon.’’ Stephen's gaze was unflinching as he surveyed your every waking move, committing it to memory as a means to figure you out. His eyes were fervently observing what you were wearing. A button down, the kind of dress shirt a guy would wear under a tux, a quite literally nothing else.
Stephen raised a discerning brow at your purpose. You were so subservient yet you were freely showing your bear legs shamelessly. What a twisted inclination, so out of character. He liked it.
You scoffed. ‘’The difference between us is you're drinking alcohol, I'm drinking water at this hour.’’ A ghost of a smile landed on your lips. You turned the tap on and started filling up the bottle.
‘’Well aren't you the poster woman for sobriety.’’ Stephen joked and you stilled at the words landing on your ears, Strange joking was like a lunar eclipse, it rarely happened and it was kind of magical. You turned your head and bit your lip playfully as your eyes locked with his.
‘’I'm happy being healthy.’’ You smirked and he paused for a beat to study you.
‘’Not healthy enough to join me for a drink?’’ He offered. It would be prudent not to take him up on it but your heart rate was kicking into overdrive and you were slowly getting addicted to the rush he was giving you in such a shot amount of time. Fuck. This wasn't good.
‘’Sure.’’ You replied bashfully and he took out another glass and started pouring, you haven't even had alcohol in you and you were starting to loosen up already. You were finally coming out of your shell. It was rejuvinating to Stephen.
You inched closer to him as you leaned agains the cool marble counter, you were close enough to feel his air and to smell his rich cologne. The sensation of it was heating your blood tenfold. Stephen could feel your eyes raking him up and down- like you were checking him out. It boosted his ego indefinitely.
If he had to describe you, a litany of words came to mind. Shy. Intelligent. Flirty. Hotter than the core of the fucking sun. Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction, he wouldn't have guessed he'd have an actual conversation with you.
‘’Whose is that?’’ Stephen pointed a pinky at your shirt before he passed the glass to you. Your face blushed a muted red and good Lord you looked incredible. Traces of desire were evident on you but he had to keep himself composed. You quickly hung your head and glanced at what you were wearing.
‘’Uhm.’’ You pondered momentarily. "You’re assuming that this is someone elses? That's presumptious of you.’’ You sneered with a certain flirt in your voice, it was fun. Cute. He chuckled lowly before taking a sip.
‘’I was actually going to ask who the lucky guy was.’’ Stephen declared very matter of factly and it made you splutter into your glass, Stephen smirked like an asshole and you had to regain your posture and square you shoulders to retain some sort of dignity.
‘’Lucky guy? There's no lucky guy Stephen.’’ Your eyes bore into his scorchingly, wildfire swirling against wildfire- completely uncontrollable and heady as fuck.
‘’Any red blooded male would want you in their bed.’’ Stephen flirted deadly serious in his inflection but you looked at him through challenging eyes.
‘’Including you?’’ You blurted without thinking.
‘’Mhm.’’
Oh?
‘’But you're a good girl.’’ Stephen's eyes darted away from yours in dismissal as he focused back on his bourbon.
What?
‘’Good girl?’’ You repeated like a dumb parrot, it was impossible to contain the shock in your voice.
‘’There is actually a difference between you and I: you're good, I'm not. I don't think you want me to ruin whatever sunshine cocktail you've got going on here.’’
‘’Maybe I've been silently begging you to.’’
He paused to regain a breath.
‘’The things I'd do to you-‘’
‘’Why don't you do it?’’
‘’Don't you always follow the rules? Stephen raised a condescending eyebrow at you, completely knowing of your true nature- you didn't exactly hide the fact that you were a goody two shoes. He traced a fleeting finger around the underside of your jaw, you practically melted into such a cursory and short lived touch before he pulled away. ‘’Isn't that your whole shtick?’’
‘’Don't you like that?’’ You shot back and he was disarmed once more, it was written all over his face. If only he just opened up his eyes and shut his mouth to just see what he's been missing. ‘’Or do I have to put it in words that make it easy for you to understand?’’ You took a swig of your drunk and Stephen just stared down at you like a dumbfounded idiot.
‘’I don't want to taint your perfect record.’’ Stephen grumbled heavy, his eyes turned pale as they alight with a real candor and earnestness that made you loosen up a little more.
Stephen took your pause as a means to drink you in like the bourbon in his hand. Except you weren't fiendish or burning his throat like the liquid courage, you were sweet- so sweet you could throw up. Fresh, full of light and wonder, completely entrancing and you didn't even realise it. But after a while of studying you, you were everything that he wasn't. You were good. A good girl and to be honest he felt like the big bad wolf in your presence. His curiosity could be countered with that of a cat, you were just so different than all the other women that wanted him. Stephen thought that you wouldn't be his type, but he could completely understand how your heart and turnons could be multilayered. What a cliche. You were interested in the older more experienced guy and Stephen would be lying if he said he wasn't so damn pleased about it. He glanced at your shirt and his mood soured slightly, he didn't like the idea of you wearing someone another guy's dress shirt. It should be his. No one elses.
Slow down, Strange. Let's not be hasty here.
That look on your face though made his dick twitch in his pants. Your eyes were wide and guileless yet flirty and playful, Jesus.
‘’Do you want me to put it crudely?’’ You bit your lip, your mouth already running a full course marathon to the man that was already making you wet with his words
‘’Go for it.’’
‘’I want you to fuck me.’’
Stephen looked a little disappointed with your response.
‘’Is that how vulgar you can go? Damn, you really are a goody two shoes, aren't you?’’ He quipped and you were slightly offended, but he want wrong. The fact that you were talking like this to one of your teammates was making your nervous system kick into a hyperactive overdrive. You could lose everything because of this...but it seemed that none of that mattered now. ‘’I mean have you even fucked before?’’ Stephen asked genuinely. He was actually wondering for real this time, have you even considered being adventerous in bed before? Have you ever even been to bed with another man before? Did that mean he would be your first fuck? Your first proper orgasm? Shit, he'd better make this good then.
Calm down. You both aren't doing anything right now...you're just talking...like normal people. That's it.
Stephen took a minute to bridle his thoughts and act like a proper human being. You probably haven't even said the word 'fuck' out loud and it made him want to laugh.
‘’My own fingers don't count, do they?’’ You bit sarcastically, a snarl forming on your face alongside the twist of your lips. Oh you weren't happy and it was easy to see it
‘’Did I strike a nerve?’’ Stephen gave you a look of faux sincerity and you scoffed at him.
You just glowered at him through heavy lidded, lust clouded eyes- the outlines of a plan briefly forming in your head. You took a step back from him and his gaze followed you. You hands slowly fell upon the buttons of your botton down, you teasingly unbottoned the the top botton...then the second button…and then finally the third button. Stephen's eyes watched your ministrations intently and he was goddamn hypnotised by it all; he was also getting slightly annoyed at watching you tease him. You stopped before going any further so it was only your cleavage that was on show. No bra? Stephen thought that was pretty ballsy of you considering how sunshine-y you were.
‘’Is this heading somewhere or am I just wasting my time? Or am I gonna get myself into trouble for something that isn't even worth it?’’ You breathed as you crossed your arms in defiance. So tired of the fact that he was dragging this along...but was the risk worth the outcome? You weren't sure- but you were aching to know.
’We're both asking a lot of questions. I mean if Tony or Fury finds out then-‘’
You cut Stephen off from his words with a searing kiss, you grabbed at his face like it was the last thing you would hold. He was startled at first but he melted into your embrace fairly quickly...Lord, he was yearning for something he wasn't allowed to have. He couldn't have this freely. this freely. No. But he didn't give a fuck when you tasted that good.
‘’I don't give a fuck about Fury.’’ You gritted against his lips.
-
You couldn't give a shit about him. You wouldn't give a shit about him- not here, not now, not when everyone was prying and wandering eyes saw what everything has come to. Stephen and you were both far too intelligent to let get something as stupid as emotions get in the way, but fuck, it was getting in the way - everytime you looked at him you could practically see the sparks explode in a line from your gaze to his.
You were both private, closed off people; you were both getting good and pretending like Stephen was just another teammate, just another random guy you had to work with professionally, it never had to be too friendly. If anything you would avoid it in most social situations but this was different. You were at a party. Stephen hated parties, you knew damn well. Pillowtalk can actually be helpful. You tried conversing with other agents but you could feel Stephen's stare burn into the right side of your skull, when you quickly peered you saw him with Wong and fucking Tony...it was like the world was against you today and you attempted to surpress your frown. Your fingers tapped at your glass in order to aid in dealing with your scattered thoughts.
Even your fucking drink reminded you of him.
Stephen's glare was that of a lingering one, he couldn't fucking take his eyes off you when you looked so sweet and delicious- he thought you looked incredible in dresses but he preferred you in his shirts, or more specifically nothing at all. He had to conceal the smirk that was so obviously forming on his face; all of the experiences he's had with you seemed to play like a movie reel in his mind and it only made him that much more restless. His scowl formed inwards to himself. He hated being bound by rules and he hated himself for letting it dictate when and how he can see you, it was tampering with his rational steady head.
Stephen was eyeing you like an animal starved of a meal, like a wild salivating dog with rabies and even when you flashed him one simple look, the urge to just grab you and fuck you hard in the bathroom seemed like a less and less insane idea.
Don't be stupid, Strange. She's not all yours to have whenever you please.
Stephen felt indefinitely embittered and apprehensive over the male agents fawning over you and being sycophantic in your presence. They couldn't say no to you even if they tried, but Strange couldn't help but agree with them entirely- you looked lovely...and he was the only one that could actually see you naked. Feel you. Touch you. Kiss you all over, wherever you wanted. Though it does dampen his spirits because he wished he could just grab you and show all these people who you belonged to. He was being quite literal when he said that these agents were chasing you like boys in a schoolyard. Stephen's temple thrummed with an easily identifiable envy, it pulsated in a frisson of annoyance and irritation. Fuck. Your gaze lingered and you didn't back away this time. It was fixed. It was intent. It was an incentive. Stephen just threw his head to the side a little bit as an indicator to follow him in the direction he was pointing to. He excused himself between Wong and Tony and headed through the halls You kept a stiff upper lip and your non chalant and placid character seemed to work to the outside world, but as your feet hit the ground towards him, your inhibitions were fleeing you like ashes from wildfire.
Stephen found a quiet sleek hallway that no one was inhibiting and waited around for you, his hands went into his suit pockets as his primal urge remained the strongest of them all, stronger than the jealousy, stronger than the envy. He wanted you so bad, it reminded him of the first time he truly realised it in the kitchen. His mind was frenzying, he had a thought that startled him: was he in love with you? He felt like a madman but the tension didn't ease when you were here...right in front of him.
You melted into his immediate embrace but you stilled once you realised that anyone could be watching.
‘’Not here.’’ You mumbled but you weren't in any hurry to push him off.
‘’I hate pretending like I don't want you.’’ Stephen grunted before he met your guileless eyes once more, his hand cupped your face and his finger smoothed out the skin of your cheek. ‘’And all those boys think they have a chance with you, they're practically undressing you with their eyes and I fucking hate it.’’ His voice was bitter and angry, the way he said it made your knees turn wobbly. ‘’If only they knew I was your first fuck, that I was there before all of them and I was the one that made you cum so hard-‘’
‘’That would be quite an interesting predicament, yeah.’’ You cut Stephen off with a tongue in cheek remark and he wasn't loosening up in the slightest, your feet inched closer to his and your lips were only a few inches apart. ‘’But, doesn't that make us special? Doesn't it make you feel special? That you're the only one that makes me so fucking dumb for you...that you're the one that makes me make a mess for you. that you are the only one capable of making me feel good? I mean just looking at you tonight made me wet.’’ You breathed against his lips sensually, and he was already giving into you and your perfect machinations.
‘’I've made you bad. You've turned bad. I like it.‘’ Stephen smirked and his eyes lit with a pale fire.
‘’You got your sling ring?’’
‘’Always.’’
‘’No-one will be at the Sanctum, take me there and do whatever you want.’’ You smiled brazenly and he was already forming a portal to his bedroom...a twisted part of him wanted to fuck you in public...yeah maybe next time. Stephen always had to juggle being brazen and keeping his composure, it was a difficult pairing to say the least. ‘’Or you could just death stare at the boys like you've been so callously doing all night? You know they're afraid of you, right? They think you're intimidating, they wouldn't mess with you.’’
‘’But they'd mess with you, and I don't like it.’’ He declared before grabbing your hand and walking you through the portal with a strut you only saw when he was annoyed.
You've only ever been in Stephen's room once but the bed appeared bigger than you remembered- you couldn't wait to christen it in a night of deep throes of passion, you were desperate for it at this point. But then again, when weren't you desperate for him.
‘’I don't have to admit that I'm a jealous guy because I'm sure you've figured it out already, but I feel like I'm blind and tortured on this. It's childish of me to give into my primeval urge of being the coldest, apathetic guy in the room but with you-‘’ He couldn't even finish his sentence, his big hands just grabbed you by the waist and you fell into him, faces barely inches apart- a fucking sheet a paper wouldn't even fit betwen your bodies, you could sense the heat radiating off of him.
Stephen's words were setting your heart on fire, when he embraced you again your insides were about to explode. His eyes were scorching and wanton and you could only reflect it, you've never seen him this short fused and rousing before.
‘’I'm yours. Only yours.’’ You breathed against his lips before you ducked your mouth to his jaw and neck and planted soft reassuring kisses on his skin. ‘’And I don't want you to not be near me.’’ Your whisper was barely audible and his hands flew up to cradle your face in response. ‘’God, these past few weeks I've had to use my fingers and imagination just to get myself off.’’
With that, he instinctively spun you around and bent you over the front of his bed- using your hair as a personal leash.
Stephen's hands were careless, his fingers pinched you as he worked to get your pretty little dress off, the one that all of the other agents were practically stripping you of with their own wandering eyes. The unwelcome thought only fuelled his roughness, his indifference- the first time Stephen had you, he made sure to be gentle with you because he knew you'd break fairly quickly...but you actually proved him wrong, you were more insatiable than he was. You were a certified freak in bed. He wondered where all of this came from, where you actually got it from specifically. It was unanticipated and prodigious. Your dress turned into a pile of scraps on his bedroom floor, he smirked when he saw you squirming against his sheets.
You only had your underwear on, lacy, classy, cute. After, Stephen ducked down and made quick work of getting rid of your heels and his own suit jacket.
You heated up every room that you walked into.
‘’You gonna tie me up?’’ You questioned bashfully, your cheeks turning a pretty pink.
‘’You want me to?’’
‘’Mhm.’’
You moaned when he grabbed your waist and slammed you further up the bed, tossing you around like you were his own personal rag doll- it only made you that much wetter.
Stephen grabbed your wrists and you raised them above your head, he took his tie off and the silk wrapped around your wrists; he looped the fabric over your wrists in an infinity motion and tightened it around your skin, you stuggled against it and it only bit into your skin even more- just how he likes it.
He then looped the remaining fabric of the restraint over his iron bedframe so you were quite literally attached to the bed, your arms were already about to go limp. As silence settled through the air, a hard smack on your ass cracked through the air and you moaned at the sheer idea of him leaving his imprint on you. He always had to avoid leaving hickeys and bites on areas that were visible but he had full reign all over all the other places.
‘’Fuck, you're so beautiful.’’ He gaped at you and it only made tour blush that much more apparent
Before he could respond, he viciously grabbed you by the waist again and flipped you over so you were face up, so he could watch you while he made you feel good. The thing only he alone can do. You were a panting pathetic mess already and the urge to remain composed fleeing you the longer he spent with you.
He took off his shirt and then he suddenly ducked down so his eyes were in view of your thighs and glistening heat, fuck you were soaked and it was a beautiful sight to behold.
‘’Stephen...please just touch me.’’
‘’I'm gonna explore you...just like I did the first time.’’ He reassured almost drunkenly, his words blurred by the desire he's spent so long harbouring for you. ‘’Tell me you want it.’’
‘’Yes. I want it bad.’’ You reaffirmed so eagerly it was designed to make Stephen's ego soar. ‘’Fuck...I need it.’’
‘’You seem greedy for it princess.’’
You couldn't even give him a snarky remark, his large hands smoothed up and down your thighs and you felt liquid electricity shoot down your body. Stephen's eyes searched yours as he gawked up at you like a salivating animal. His curious fingers hooked onto your panties and shimmied them down your legs and ended up like scraps on his bedroom floor just like your dress. You were naked in front of him like so many times before and you were just begging to be touched. Stephen planted a few kisses up your thighs as a means to tease and make you squirm.
‘’You say you're bad but here you are...saying yes so easily.’’ Stephen taunted and it only made you whine.
‘’Finger me or eat me out you prude.’’ You bit back harshly and it only made him chuckle lowly, the sick bastard was laughing at you.
He reached out and gripped you by the jaw. A threat and a warning all at once and when you looked him in the eye it dawned upon you. ‘’I'll take however long I please. Now spread your legs wider for me. Yeah?’’
To your dismay, you obliged and his fingers meandered from your chest to your stomach, tracing and moving in torturously slow for you liking- Stephen surveyed the expressions contorted on your face so intently it was like he wanted to burn a hole into your face. His lips pressed down to where your heart laid, then his mouth and tongue flew to your tits. He bit and sucked on them ferociously and your breathless pants seemed to spur him on. He was being intensely methodical and you hated him for it- all you wanted him to do was ram into you already
‘’Shit...I'm so fucking wet.’’ Your voice was like a slur, so drunk off of the pleasure he was giving you.
'’All for you.’’
‘’Huh.’’ Stephen scoffed in pure awe and pride. ‘’You're just have to be perfect, don't you?'’
You smiled in response. Fuck, he was going to destroy you. Stephen's mouth travelled south and his head ducked to your sloppy heat, the sweetest little pussy. The scene was filthy. He kissed your clit and it made you throw your head back and tug on your restraints.
‘’Stop squirming or I won't make you feel good, got it?’’ Stephen gritted with a voice thick with gravel and seriousness. You nodded all wide eyed.
His tongue started working its magic, he licked and sucked on you as if you were the last meal he would ever have. He was obsessed with the sweetness of your arousal, it only motivated him that much more. You always provided for him and now he was the greedy one to take it from you. He grunted into your pussy and it sent vibrations up your body, sparking its way back to your core, you whimpered violently, your mouth agape. Stephen was devouring you, feeding off of your light, consuming every inch of you until you understood that you were his alone. You were clenching around him already and he didn't approve of it and he suddenly unlatched his lips from you to glare at you.
‘mIf you dare think about cumming.’’
‘’I can't take it.’’
‘’Well, you're gonna take it.’’
‘'The other agents wouldn't be as mean.’’ You smirked and it made Stephen's blood roar. His mood darkened instinctively at the idea of them seeing you like this.
‘’Oh if any other man thinks of touching you, they'll be in pieces and you won't get my dick stuffed in you for months.’’ His threat was horrifyingly genuine and you didn't want to take any chances.
Your eyebrows tensed at his eye-opening intimidation and before you could even register anything else, you could hear the clank of his belt and the unzipping of his fly.
‘'Stephen..I-‘’ He slipped the head of his cock inside you before you could finish your plead.
His cock was angry and steel hard as it pulsated inside of you. A whimper escaped your mouth and it shot right down him. You looked borderline pornographic which completely underscored that once light niavete and innocance. Once he got his hands on you, he made you a filthy mess for him. Broken for him. Stephen was selfish and cruel enough to take you with him when burned the world to ashes at your feet- for you. He made sure he was face to face with you, eye contact was so important to him while he did this. He fisted your hair and then tugged it back until you stared straight up at him. He thrusted in and out of you and your legs wrapped around him relentlessly.
‘’That's it...look at me. Look at me while I'm ruining you.’’ Stephen instructed before he engulfed your lips in a searing kiss. ‘’Remember who you belong to.’’
‘’Yours... You... Fuck it's always you.’’ You stammered out pitifully and it was such an endearing thing to hear.
He was making you feel so damn good, he was reaching depths you knew no one else could. He was an expert at his craft and it was paralysing you
Your shaking legs stilled as your heart began to burn with an overwhelming determination to just explode. And you did. With abandon. With euphoria. You gushed onto him and it was a design for perfection, a moan ripped at your vocal chords and you felt your throat turn raw. Stephen's chest started to hurt and his cock throbbed harder, a wash of hot shudders rippled through his entire body once he saw the view on your face. The thrumming of his ensuing grunts travelled all the way up your spine once he started dragging you through your orgasm. Faster and faster until the only sounds of that were ragged breaths, flesh slapping against flesh.
Stephen was so rough and he was half expecting for you to tap out, but you never did. And it made him cum so hard into you, painting your insides a thick white it would be leaking out of you. He was an incredible interior decorator and the thought made him smile which you hastily caught onto when pulled out.
‘’What are you so happy about?’’ You asked softly as he was beginning to take the restraints off you.
‘’Nothing.’’ Now he was the one that was blushing with arousal, he threw the tie away and fell back into bed to envelope an arm around you. To hold you. Embrace you. You'd both clean up later, you just wanted to enjoy your post coital bliss.
Stephen's head hit the pillow and he turned his head to look at you in those pretty eyes he'd spend the rest of his days losing himself in.
‘’You're eyes always glaze over everytime you cum.’’ Stephen remarked and it made you scoff.
‘’Hm, your compliments are always so inventive.’’ You let his big arms engulf you into his embrace and you laid on his bare chest feeling his warmth coat your skin. Stephen stroked your hair rhythmically and you nuzzled further into his neck. Although, Stephen turned serious for a moment and his lips thinned and his gaze narrowed- the silence muffled his eardrums.
‘'I don't like hiding.’’ He said impassively, holding onto you that much tighter. The twisted bedsheets curling up alongside you.
‘’We'd lose everything.’’
‘'I know. I just want to want you freely.’’ Stephen seemed forlorn but he knew it was stupid to be bringing this up again but it was the one thing on his mind.
‘’I think I've gotten used to this little routine of ours.’’
‘’Why?’’
"Because it's ours. No-one elses."
#dr stephen strange#dr strange angst#dr strange fluff#dr strange x fem!reader#dr strange x y/n#stephen strange smut#dr strange smut#stephen strange#doctor strange smut#doctor strange x female reader
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Old Habits Die Hard Part 11 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
Summary: You decide to give Bradley the opportunity to talk about what happened. You end up learning more than you bargained for.
Warnings: Angst and swears, maybe fluff
Length: 3300 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (fuckboy college student Bradley)
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What was wrong with you? You had agreed to let Bradley stop by later in the evening so you and he could talk. You didn't really want to talk to him, because you knew you would end up a crying mess. But there was no way he was going to worm his way back to you. Not after what he did last weekend.
And yet, you found yourself touching up your makeup before he got there. And you decided to stay in your skirt and sweater instead of changing into leggings like you usually would after class.
"You're ridiculous," you told yourself in the bathroom mirror. You looked so sad, and you just knew you were going to have to kick Bradley out later if you started crying.
Janessa was already out for the night, so at least you would have some privacy. But maybe that was worse, since you didn't even know for sure what Bradley wanted to talk about. He had told you he wanted to be your boyfriend. You weren't lying to him when you told him you would have said yes.
Sighing, you exited the bathroom and picked up one of your graduate exam practice books to help you pass the time. You had narrowed your application list down to just four schools. Three of them were a bit outlandish, including the University of Chicago, but you were hopeful that one of them would be willing to give you a scholarship. Then you'd keep the University of Virginia as your last resort, since you were almost positive you'd be accepted to stay on in the math department here. You had a 4.0 GPA, and now you just needed to ace your exams.
You jumped off the couch when you heard knocking. Time to get this over with. You unlocked the door and were met with sad, brown puppy dog eyes and a face that you immediately wanted to kiss. And he was holding more flowers.
"Come in," you managed to say in a steady voice that didn't betray your nerves and the butterflies in your tummy. Why had he picked you? What was even special about you in the first place? Nothing. He could have used his voice and charm on any other girl, and you kind of wished he would have. Why the hell was he here anyway?
As he nodded and walked into the living room, you took a deep breath. He smelled so good. He was still wearing that ugly Grateful Dead shirt, and you knew how soft it was. You wanted to rub your cheek against his chest and feel it again for yourself. You wanted to change into it for bed.
"These are for you. Since I messed the other ones up earlier," he told you, holding out the flowers.
You took them, saying, "Well, you didn't mess them up, but thanks." You set the flowers down and nodded for him to sit.
You followed him over toward the couch where he stood, looking at you. "What did you want to talk about?" you asked, crossing your arms as casually as you could.
He ran his hands through his hair and looked around the room before his eyes settled back on your face. "Me, you, everything. I don't know, Sugar. I fucked up with you. And I don't know if you can forgive me, but I wish you would."
He looked so serious, you thought you might as well call him out on it. "I'm not sure how to respond to you right now. You look and sound sincere. But I'm not really in the market for being tricked or fucked over again."
Bradley's face fell and he rubbed his eyes like he was in agony. Then he dropped his arms to his sides. "I've always been sincere with you. Always." His voice was pleading as he added, "Maybe not with everyone else. But with you, yes. So please, please don't start treating me the way everyone else does. Okay?"
"Okay," you agreed, although you weren't really sure what you were agreeing to.
"You treated me like I was important. Like I fucking mattered to you." He rubbed his hand over his mouth and looked at the ceiling. "You don't know how sorry I am that I fucked this up, Sugar."
You swallowed every snarky remark that you had spent the last few minutes coming up with and took him gently by the hand. Immediately his other hand dropped to his side and he was looking at you again.
"Let's sit down," you whispered, and he nodded and sat on your couch, pulling you down and keeping his hand in yours. You took a breath to speak, but he was already going.
"I was so jealous of that fucking guy. I don't even know who he was. But I immediately thought the worst. And I know that's not fair to you, because you're... you. You're just better than everyone else. I think that's why I like you so much. You're smart, and your opinion matters. And you treated me like I was worth being around. Like," he said with a shrug, "I was worth your time." He swallowed, and your eyes dipped to his Adam's apple and his scars.
You thought for a second that he must have been pretty badly mistreated if your opinion means so much after knowing him for a month. You thought about his door and his mom and how he always seemed to be at odds with his fraternity brothers.
"You're worth my time," you said softly. He was looking at you again, his eyes sincere but laced with pain. "And you are important."
"But...?" he prompted, still holding your hand. "Come on, Sugar. Just say what you want to say."
You took a deep breath. "I just want you to be honest with me. That guy I was talking to? His name is Max. He's on the lacrosse team, and he's really, really stupid. I used to tutor him. I don't know why you thought you needed to be jealous of him. He's nothing."
"Sugar, I'm an idiot," he groaned.
"No. You're smart, Bradley. So what gives?" you asked.
He just shook his head and looked at the floor. "Everyone already thinks I'm a fuckup. Everyone expects me to be a certain way. And sometimes it's just easier to give in to their expectations than it is to try."
You laced your fingers with his so he would look at you again. "Who is Hannah?" you asked softly when he met your eyes. You watched the expression on his face change from pain to anxiousness. You wanted to know why he and Jeff couldn't get along.
"Chase was in my fraternity," he said simply. "Hannah was his girlfriend."
"What happened?" you asked softly, and then he told you everything.
---------------------------
Bradley just wanted to hold you and feel your arms slip around him. He wanted to feel your lips move against his neck while you spoke to him in your matter of fact voice. He wanted to listen to your laughter in his bedroom. The last thing he wanted to do was tell you about Chase and Hannah. Nobody else knew the full truth. Not even Phoebe, and she was there.
No, nobody really knew all of it. But you were about to. Because if it meant that you could understand him, then it was worth telling you.
"Chase and Jeff were best friends, and Chase got expelled from Beta and then from UVA for fighting. For fighting me," he told you.
You just shook your head. "You're not a fighter."
Bradley laughed softly. "No, perhaps I'm not. But I think I became one. I used to drink a lot more. Made it easier to deal with the names on my door, I guess. Made it easier to watch girls write their phone numbers and leave." And then in your dimly lit living room, you wrapped your arms around his neck and let him hold you. He took a deep breath and let it out before he said, "The drinking definitely made it easier to stand up for Hannah."
"What did Chase do?" you asked softly, as if you already knew what Bradley was going to tell you. Your nose skimmed the collar of his tee shirt as he let his body relax against yours.
"He hurt Hannah when he got drunk. All the time. He hit her and made her cry. He cheated on her all the time too," Bradley said, and you gasped. "He was the only guy in Beta with a girlfriend, and I thought that if that's what having a girlfriend did to you, I wanted nothing to do with it."
"Oh my god," you whispered.
"Hannah was scared of him. I found her crying in my bathroom one night, and I saw the bruises on her. She was sweet, like you, but not sensible. Chase was nice to her when he was sober, so she just stayed, I guess. I don't know."
You didn't pressure him to keep going. You let him gather his thoughts while he rubbed your back through your sweater.
"I started butting heads with Chase and Jeff more, because Jeff was always standing up for him. I saw Chase push Hannah, and he was always calling her a slut and a bitch. When I tried to insert myself in the situation, pretty much all the guys in Beta agreed with Jeff when he said I was just trying to sleep with Hannah. And why shouldn't they believe him? I'm easy, you know? Every other fucking name under the sun was on my door, why wouldn't I want Hannah's there too?"
"Bradley." You whispered his name so softly he barely heard you, but he wanted to finish.
"After Chase busted up Hannah's lip, and she missed a bunch of her classes, I picked a fight with him. I waited for a night when he was in a particularly bad mood, and then I got wasted on purpose. Drank an entire bottle of vodka. It took all of my strength not to fight back. He slammed me around pretty good, and broke a glass table by putting my face through it. Hence the scars."
You were fully in Bradley's lap now, and you were crying. "No, Bradley. You did that for Hannah?" you asked, running your fingers along his cheek.
He nodded gently against your head. "Yeah. Chase got expelled, putting some distance between him and Hannah. She ended up transferring to Florida for her senior year. She and I have stayed in touch. She was always nice to me. I've... never told anyone that I got drunk on purpose. I was like that a lot, so nobody really thought it seemed strange, you know?"
You pulled away from him, and the loss of contact sent him scrambling for your hand. "That's not who you are though. You're not a fighter. And you're not easy either, Beer Boy. You're really, really good."
Bradley wished you'd lay on him again, but he wasn't going to press his luck. At least you weren't asking him to leave.
"I told Hannah all about you."
"Really?" you asked, sounding surprised.
"Yeah. She told me I'm an idiot for what I did. She also told me you're too good for me. But I sent her a picture of my door, and she called me screaming."
A soft smile was touching your lips now, but it faded as you asked, "Who was that girl last weekend? Did you know her?"
He nodded and forced the words out. "Her name is Willow. I slept with her a few months ago. It didn't mean anything. I wish I could take it all back. After Phoebe, I started sleeping around, because I didn't really have anything else," he said with a sardonic laugh and a shrug. "I am sorry. And I would never do that again... to you. If I stood a chance."
Bradley had to swallow the lump in his throat as you pressed your lips together and studied him. "Are you leaving soon? The party is probably in full swing now."
He just shrugged helplessly. "I'll leave when you ask me to, Sugar. I'm not partying tonight."
You licked your lips before you shifted so you were no longer touching him, and he started to brace himself for your dismissal.
"Do you want some pizza?" you asked. "I'm hungry, and I won't be able to finish it by myself."
Bradley just nodded. He would have agreed to anything you said if it meant he could be around you for a little bit longer. He watched you walk to the table to pick up your phone, your skirt hitting the backs of your thighs with each step. He cradled his forehead in his hand, he had no idea what was going on here. This felt like a subtle reminder as to why he shouldn't actually try to date anyone.
He listened to you order a pizza and watched you pace around in a small circle. Then you started to dig around in your wallet, but he jumped up and handed you money. "I got it," he said. But you just shook your head.
"Don't worry about it. And we're not done talking," you said, gently pushing him back toward the couch.
"We're not?" he asked, dropping back down to sit. But you remained standing in front of him.
"No. I want you to tell me, why me?"
"I don't understand."
"I don't understand either, Bradley. Why me? Why do you want me to be your girlfriend? You could get with any girl on campus."
He scoffed. "Maybe physically, Sugar. But that's not the only reason I like you. I already told you... you talk to me like I'm important."
"Oh, Beer Boy. You have no idea."
When you sat down next to him and curled up against his body, he just held you until the pizza arrived.
-------------------------
Both of you sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and ate pizza, but Bradley seemed on edge the whole time. You hated this. Being around him had been so easy before. When you stood up to refill your drinks, you watched his eyes drift up your legs, lingering on your body before settling on your face. You turned toward the kitchen and took your time.
The idea of forgiving him had almost taken over your entire mind. You wanted to. But you also felt like you were just asking for trouble. But when he told you about Chase and Hannah, you really wanted to just wrap him up in your arms and never let go.
When you walked back to the living room, he was standing, hands tucked in his pockets. "Sugar, I'm gonna go. I think I need to go."
Your heart dropped. "Why?" You didn't want him to leave yet.
"This is... I need to... protect myself," he said softly.
"Oh. From me?" You were going to cry if he said yes.
He nodded his head.
You could feel your face scrunch up, tears beginning to sting your eyes. "I don't want you to say that."
"This isn't your fault. I did this, because I am a fuckup."
"Stop it," you said, running your fingers across his scarred left cheek and resting your thumb on his lips. "You're not." You couldn't stand the hopeful look on his face now, so you wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face against his chest.
His voice was deep and raspy as he asked you, "Can I touch you, Sugar?"
You looked up at his face, his eyes already on yours, but he didn't take his hands out of his pockets until you whispered yes.
His hands found your waist like they belonged there, and you let him hold you. When you pressed a soft kiss to his neck, he groaned.
You felt powerful around him. You always had. He'd given you control. Bradley had given you control. He was smart, but always selling himself short. He was organized, like his mom. He let Chase beat the shit out of him without fighting back. He was very in control of himself, whether he wanted to admit it or not. But over the past month or so, he'd let you control this.
"Do you want to sleep over, Beer Boy?" you asked him.
He looked a little stunned, but he muttered, "Of course, Sugar."
You nodded and led him to your bedroom. "I'm tired. Can we snuggle?"
He laughed softly. "Please."
Without another word, you pulled your sweater over your head and unhooked your bra. He watched you intently but didn't touch you as you got undressed in front of him. Then you grabbed the bottom of his tie dyed shirt and guided it up over his body. He raised his hands in the air without a word and let you take it off. He swallowed hard as you pulled it over your head and ran your hands along the soft fabric. When you climbed into bed, he quickly took off his shoes and his jeans and climbed in next to you.
"Just snuggling," you murmured, but he was already curled up behind you, burying his face in your hair and squeezing you.
Bradley whispered in agreement, but soon you were turning in his arms and wrapping your hands around his neck. That first kiss felt so good, you gasped. You had missed him so much like this. You kissed him again and again until you felt sated, but his hands stayed on your waist on the outside of the Grateful Dead shirt, rubbing soft, soothing circles. Somehow he had become the one offering you some much needed comfort.
"Just snuggling, Sugar," he whispered against your lips. You nodded in agreement, and at some point between kissing him and your whispered conversation, you fell asleep in his arms.
------------------------------
Bradley woke up with his arm pinned beneath you. It was light outside now, but you were still sound asleep. He didn't want to move and wake you, so he just got used to the pins and needles sensation. He examined your gorgeous face, lips parted slightly and breathing softly in sleep. Had you forgiven him? He wasn't sure, and he was going to be too afraid to ask you now.
Today was Valentine's Day, and this moment right now was the closest thing he had felt to love since his mom died. If you let him, he was pretty sure he could fall in love with you. He'd never done it before, wasn't exactly sure of the logistics, but it seemed okay here. So when you rolled closer to him and sighed, he pushed your hair away from your forehead and kissed you.
It seemed easier to ask you something else first. When your eyes opened, a smile graced your lips when you saw him, as if you weren't expecting him to be there but you were happy that he was.
"Beer Boy," you whispered, your voice raw from sleep. You rolled onto him further, and Bradley was thankful for your bodyweight on his and that he was finally able to move his arm.
"Sugar, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked you before he could backtrack or rethink anything.
You examined his face for a moment. His ears were ringing. He shouldn't have asked. You were going to kick him out now. Why was this shit so hard for him?
"Yes," you told him, nodding and leaning up to kiss his lips, gently nudging his nose with yours.
"Fuck," he whispered against your lips. He wrapped you up in his arms. "Can you forgive me?"
"Yeah, Beer Boy, I can forgive you."
Bradley smiled for the first time in almost a week.
---------------------------------
Sugar! Did she make a smart decision? Thanks a million percent to @mak-32 This is for you!
PART 12
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