I've started watching succession for the first time and my recap so far (I'm halfway through s2)

Shiv: she has crazy girlboss disease and I think many of her problems would be solved if she ate some pussy, 10/10 I love her and want her to act at least 43% more unhinged

Roman: literally deranged. a wet dog left outside in a box type of pathetic I want things to get so much worse for him. 10/10 ban him from ever getting professional help whatever is wrong with him is way funnier

Kendall: I have so many complicated feelings. Like he like sucks but in a way that is not nearly as fun for me as the other two but also he's so just miserable I can't look away any self distruction from him just gives me tummy aches ???/10

Two for the price of one Tom and Greg as a horrific bonus feature: I honestly hate both of them sorry.... like Tom would be engaging if he was idk. like 10% crazier and also a woman and Greg. if Greg was more pathetic I would be capitvated but I'm just like "oh cool tomfucker9000 is on the screen again" 4/10

Logan: Logan Logan/Logan

Bonus round: I love Conner I'm a conhead for life easily the funniest character, I thought I'd like maria in s1 but as it went on I realized she actually does like Logan for who he is absolutely devisating, I love gerri I love milfs I hope she makes roman worse and continues to use him for her own self achieving means. also Tabitha should be my girlfriend instead actually

I will update when I have more thoughts

Danyal Al Ghul: Incorrect Quotes and Miscellaneous Thoughts

Incorrect quotes-style snippets specifically for my danyal al ghul au here (which i really need to come up with a unique au name for atp). Because I thought it'd be funny. And also some miscellaneous headcanons thrown into the mix. Some context for the au: - Danyal is 5 years older than Damian (so 10 and 15) - Danny faked his death when he was 10. Talia knows and helped him with it. - Jazz, Sam, and Tucker do not know he's an ex-assassin.

-------- Snippet 1

Danny, dryly tapping his temple: I have, as the Americans say, irreparable psychological damage, right here.

Jazz, an older sibling first and foremost: well, it's good that you're self-aware.

-------- Snippet 2

Danny, aged 10, in the American foster planning to just age out of the system: *emanating Bad Vibes. Pure, Little Orphan Tom Riddle Energy*

Jazz, aged 12, coming in to adopt a new sibling with her parents: Him. This is my brother now :)

Danny: ...what

--------

Lilo and Stitch is Danny's favorite Disney movie. He watched it when he was 11 with Jazz when she was attempting to connect with him, and by this point Danny was becoming receptive to her efforts. They had a movie marathon in the living room one night.

Safe to say? It resonated with his little 11 year old heart strongly, and he related very strongly with both Nani and Stitch. He got unexpectedly emotional and hid in his room for the rest of the night. Jazz felt really bad, but it had the intended (but kinda unexpected) effect of him trying to be nicer to her afterwards.

-------- Snippet 3

Dash, aged 12, causing trouble again and getting intercepted by Danny: *scaling up a desk* AHHHHH! GET YOUR LITTLE FREAK, FOLEY!

Tucker: Hey! Danny is not a freak!

Dash: GET HIM TO BACK OFF

Tucker, was the kid Dash was messing with: ....whats in it for me

-------- Snippet 4

Danny, saying some questionably immoral shit: What. Why are you looking at me like that.

Tucker: Bro. I mean this as kindly as possible; what the fuck?

Sam: yeah, I'm with Tuck on this one.

-------- Snippet 5

Danny, ranting about Vlad: if it weren't for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered him

Sam, painting his nails black: I'm pretty sure you'd slaughter him regardless of the laws of the land -- and quit moving, you're gonna mess me up.

Tucker: we've literally seen you debate yourself about this, Dan

Danny: ...you are correct, but it is the principle of things.

-------- Snippet 6

Vlad: I have experience my child, and the money and power attained through using those powers for personal gain, you say. I could train you, teach you everything I know! And all you have to do is renounce that idiot adoptive father of yours.

Danny, was already contemplating committing a Violence: ....

Danny, internally: I'm going to stab him *turns into Phantom*

--------

Funny contrast I realized between Danyal and Vlad that iirc I haven't pointed out yet is that imo, Danyal doesn't rely on his powers nearly half as much as canon Danny does. He falls back instinctually on his League training, and thus sometimes forgets to use his powers in battle. This was prevalent especially early on when he was still getting used to the whole 'halfa' thing.

He incorporates them more often after a year, but still for the most part relies on his own physical hand-to-hand combat. He trusts those skills much more than he does his powers. I'm not sure where he is on a technical level compared to canon, but just to stay safe I'll say he's similar in power skill as canon Danny. Perhaps a little more finessed than him because his League training would probably have him trying to figure out his powers as soon as possible.

But in summary? Danny is strong in hand-to-hand combat, weak in powerset.

Meanwhile Vlad is the opposite. I can't recall if he even knows hand-to-hand in canon, but it makes total sense to me that Vlad Masters wouldn't because he's so confident in his monetary influence and ghost abilities that he sees no need for it.

And he's kinda got some merit behind it. He's very powerful and has 20 years of experience to experiment and fine tune his powers. He's got bite to follow up his bark. He's perfected long-range combat and his ability to phase through walls makes it impossible to corner him, but if you can manage it, then one good hit could probably knock him on his ass.

So in summary, Vlad is strong in powerset, weak in hand-to-hand combat.

And it casts a good contrast between the two of them in that regard. Danny, as a fellow halfa, can follow Vlad when he phases through walls and is fast enough to land a hit on him. His league training as an assassin, albeit rusty, is still deep ingrained enough in him that he can hold up as a rather veritable threat against Vlad without needing his powers.

But Vlad can force Danny to use his powers more often through use of his own. The duplication is the first thing to come to mind: Danny's fast enough to dispel them on his own without powers, and smart enough that he could figure out who the real one is if given a few minute. But that's not always efficient enough.

Good foils for each other that way. Also Vlad's Plasmius design mimics Ra's juuust enough that he looks like Ra's knockoff loser second cousin no one talks about, which only fuels Danny's hatred.

-------- Snippet 7

Danny, ranting about Vlad for the first time: --and it's only made worse by the fact that the little ingrate resembles a cheap knock-off of my grandfather!--

Sam, choking on her water: he what--

Tucker, doing a spittake: HE DOES?

Analysis of Paracelsus' initial bloodlust and its longlasting effects on A.B.A (Part 2)

Analysis behind the backstory and personal story arcs of A.B.A. and Paracelsus (part 1)

So this actually started out more of a 'funny' post, but I realized that it really is a very important insight into how A.B.A. and Paracelsus function and interact, especially for his earlier days in XX/Accent Core +R

And I wasn't joking about the vore. It's not in the erotic sense...but it certainly is in the 'literally eating parts of your partner ' sense...

Also apologies for the long word dumps, it got wordier and longer than I expected.

Paracelsus (used to) REALLY love blood

It goes without saying, Paracelsus really loves blood. Well he used to anyway.

By STRIVE, he says he felt he lost his sanity whenever he gets hyped on blood in the past. To the point, he has sworn off blood (and violence) as if it was an addiction. Basically, he has managed to go clean sometime between their last appearance and STRIVE.

To not go too far into his backstory again (which you can read here), Paracelsus is a magical axe that fed on blood and increased his own power with blood; and would use warriors as hosts to cause more bloodshed and thus gain more blood and power for himself. Paracelsus doesn't need to 'eat' blood to survive (he was left host-less for about 20 years, and now abstains in STRIVE and is just fine), making the addiction metaphor seem to be accurate.

Back in XX/ACCENT CORE, he needed to drink fresh blood to transform into his superpowered Moroha mode (this is mechanically replaced by Jealous Rage mode now). Similar to his current gameplay, he could get blood and transform by A.B.A. piercing someone with his bladed end; or if A.B.A. fed him one of three blood packs she'd have on her.

He reacts pretty much like a dog getting a treat, anticipating it when she reaches into her pockets for a pack too. And he truly didn't care where the blood comes from, even if it's from A.B.A. herself.

A.B.A. coughs up blood and all Paracelsus wants to do is have a taste. Note that he barely actually reacts to her or himself getting hit or fighting in the old games. It's kind of a stark contrast to his many reactions and concern for her wellbeing now.

Make no mistake, despite being "kinder and gentler" than how he treated his previous hosts - by not completely mind controlling her into a frenzy and caring enough that he doesn't want her to die - Paracelsus was truly obsessed with drinking blood still, and all the fighting skills and power he imparted on A.B.A. was to make her strong enough to defeat opponents and gather blood for him too. Hence the 'manipulation' he felt guilty of in STRIVE.

And he gets even more bloodthirsty in Moroha mode aka what Paracelsus is without his 'sanity'.

You're the worse you when on blood

Prior to STRIVE and Paracelsus' current sludgy form, his powered-up form gave him a goat's head and his persona changes into that of his old berserker self.

This increase in aggression and bloodlust also affected A.B.A. through their empathetic bond, making her also take joy in violence and also clearly hyperventilating and tweaking out in some animations, like she's high.

Not to mention that to fight in this mode, every time Paracelsus makes a successful attack, A.B.A. also gets damaged (hence 'Moroha' mode as it means 'double-edged'). In-universe, this could mean that Paracelsus is sapping both the blood of an opponent and A.B.A. at the same time, indiscriminately as he says.

And he seems somewhat crueler in this form, as he has an even more violent and vicious state above Moroha mode called Goku Moroha mode. He enters it by consuming another blood pack, but he also seems to bite down on A.B.A.'s hand without a care and holds onto it while he transforms.

The impact of all this on A.B.A

Picking up Paracelsus was truly a double-edged sword/axe for A.B.A. On one hand, he was older and savvier about the outside world (even though he spent like 20 years just rusting away on the ground somewhere) and having him as her emotional support key and literal weapon led her to actually daring to explore the outside world, and he provided and (attempted to) advised her on things she didn't know about.

On the other hand, Paracelsus' satiating his bloodthirst was still his main objective, and it was also hurting A.B.A. Although Paracelsus was making some effort to not outright get her killed, A.B.A's additional resilience as a homunculus probably also helped her survive take being Paracelsus' host as long as she did.

Paracelsus was the original toxic element in their relationship, and it's likely over the years he's come to realize and regrets the harm he was doing to A.B.A. constantly, and why he has completely sworn off blood and violence entirely by STRIVE.

However, his bloodlust fueled and amplified the worse tendencies of A.B.A. from early on, and this seems to have stuck with her till the present in STRIVE. Her current extremely violent reaction when feeling jealousy or anxiety is likely how she's been conditioned to do so by Paracelsus, even when he himself is no longer the source of that bloodlust.

The difference now is that A.B.A.'s new powered-up state of Jealous Rage is mainly fueled by her wrath and fear instead of Paracelsus' bloodlust. Paracelsus becomes sludge now, affected by the toxicity of her unstable emotions going haywire and her will becoming decidedly dominant over his. The one who is toxic has become inverted.

What's more, it seems that the skills Paracelsus imparted on her before also carried over and stuck with her, allowing her to fight independently since Paracelsus isn't trying to encourage her to violence this time. She's become so dominant that she now can even force a new form/transformation onto Paracelsus when she does her Overdrive The Law is Key, Key is King while in Jealous Rage.

In the game files, this red form is called the "Hyoui" form, meaning 'possession'. It being red is interesting because it seems to be a callback to Paracelsus' moniker of being the Sanguine Gale. The concept art also shows the pretty disturbing way he's being morphed into it by A.B.A. when she does the Overdrive.

When in her Jealous Rage mode, the bottom half Paracelsus' where his axe blade is, somehow becomes more axe-like than it ever has been in the games. In the earlier games, his blade half didn't change, only his head does into the goat-head. What's more disturbing is that eyes already started appearing on the axe half even while Paracelsus tries to maintain his original face as much as possible.

When executing the Overdrive, A.B.A. swings with the axe half as the sludge pulls from Paracelsus' face to form this new toothed red axe head. Is it a new persona? Is Paracelsus still conscious in his face half or in the axe half at all? Does 'possession' have double meaning where A.B.A. is possessed by her own wrath, but also Paracelsus is now the one being possessed by A.B.A.'s will into forming the red axe form?

The interesting thing too is that A.B.A. executes the Overdrive with precise strikes, liked a skilled warrior. IMO, at this moment A.B.A. ironically became the exact kind of warrior that berserker Paracelsus would have wanted and caused him to even revert back into that primal early form of his that was barely sentient. They gained perfect synergy for the attack, but both are literally out of their minds.

What started this post

Just a funny thing but the reason why I even thought of, and then looked into all this, was because of A.B.A.'s biting of Paracelsus at the top of the post. I was wondering why Paracelsus doesn't say a word of protest when she does this to him, then remembered that he used to kinda drink her blood (and turns out he too has bitten her before), and I think he's prolly thinking "I deserve this".

how would the upper moons react if they found out that muzan wants to eat their partner since they suddenly gained the ability to survive in the sun

Upper Moons finding out that Muzan wants to eat their s/o!

Just a side note i now write for metal family :)

Kokushibo

• Would be horribly alarmed

• wouldn't know what to do because of his loyalty to Muzan but also his loyalty to you as your boyfriend

• he'd be stunned knowing you could walk in the sun amd understand muzans interest in you but after a while of thought he'd hide you somewhere safe

• well he thought was safe

• He'd have to repeatedly find different places for you to hide as Muzan kept finding you so you'd be in a different place every day.

• he'd be suffering aswell at Muzans wrath but also his own inner conflict about where his loyalty actually lies

• Muzan would use threat after threat after threat and even physical things to get Kokushibo to tell him where you were but he wouldn't no matter what

• because his loyaltys lay with you.

Douma

Would make the people of his cult help hide you

He'd straight go to hide you because you are the only person who has shown him proper affection and he doesn't want that to go away

He would admire you and beg you to tell him how you managed to walk in the sun but would remind himself there were bigger matters to handle

No matter the torture he underwent by muzan and the others in the 12 kizuki he wasn't letting go of you

Would always make sure nobody was following him on his way to see you

After finding out that Muzan wants to eat you he would try and be his normal self whilst mentally shitting himself thst someone would find you

He would always have someone to protect you whether it was him or one of his followers

He'd give false locations of where he had 'seen' you last but always in the day knowing that Muzan can't go in daylight just like thr rest of them

He isn't giving up on you anytime soon

Akaza

He would refuse to harm you or let anyone else harm you so his first instinct was to go into hiding and not inform anyone at any point of where you two were

Avoiding Muzan like the plague

He'd be wary about going out and only going when you two got really hungry to get a human

He already lost Koyuki, he refuses to lose you to especially to Lord Muzan

You guys would go from one hiding spot to another every week to make sure there was no risk of him or any of the others finding you

PROTECT YOU WITH HIS LIFEEEE

This man loves you too much to let you go

Would absolutely fight anyone who tried to get to you at any point

Enmu

Literally got nothing to say for him I'm sorry lol

Would turn you in to Muzan no hesitation

His love for you may be strong but his dedication to Muzan and his weird little blood fetish is stronger

Bye bye to you

Daki

She'd be torn between giving you in to Muzan or hiding you

Her dedication to Muzan, like Enmu, is strong but she has to decide whether her love for you is stronger

Her internal debate drives Gyutaro CRAZY

Would be desperate for Muzans praise but also doesn't want to lose the feeling you give her and the affection you show her

She would half hide you half leave you alone whilst she made her decision

If she chose to hide you, she would have to flee the Entertainment district and not tell anyone where she was going

If she chose to turn you in she would probably have that on her conscience for the rest of her days until eventually slain

Gyutaro

First reaction would be to flat down refuse and not turn you in to Muzan

You were the first one apart from Daki who showed him the love he actually deserved, who made him feel worth it when he didn't himself.

Would probably force Daki to hide you for him against her wishes as she is loyal to Muzan

After separated from her, he would constantly be at your side and in the day Daki would force one of the girls from her house to be with you instead

He would make you go into different spots regularly to throw any other demons off of your trail in fear of someone finding you

Would be constantly paranoid about everyone and everything around you

10/10 would make you trail after Daki if for his sanity more than yours

END - LN4

pairing: lando norris x reader

summary: yn can't take the distance from lando anymore.

notes: sorry i haven't posted in literally 3 months. please excuse any errors or inaccuracies.

Y/N doesn't recognize herself anymore.

Her old self was confident and never took shit from anybody. But now she was a shell of the person she used to be.

When she first started a relationship with Lando, they were bright and so in love. He would surprise her with flowers often and have dinner with her every night.

Now, it felt like she was living with a stranger. He was no longer the man who she felt would give her the world. She was no longer one of his priorities, she fell second or third.

The decision to end things was not an easy one. Y/N was naive in thinking she would spend the rest of her life with Lando, how could she go and end the relationship she'd been in for the entirety of her adult life?

Her decision was finalized the night he was once again late and didn't bother to let her know. He had failed to show up for dinner numerous times in recent weeks, each missed meal a painful reminder of their growing disconnect.

Y/N was sitting at the dinner table. Two plates. Both untouched.

She knew tonight was her last.

She immediately got up and started packing her things. She didn't let any of her tears fall, knowing this has been a long time coming.

She packed all of her things, not wanting to leave anything behind. She sat at the dinner table and waited.

He finally arrived an hour later.

That hour gave Y/N the chance to think things through and plan what she was going to say to him.

"Oh, hey," he said as he walked through the door. He noticed the bags by the door and grew confused. "What's going on?"

"Lando, we need to talk," she said.

"Talk about what, Y/N? Is everything alright?"

"No, Lando, everything is not alright," Y/N said, her voice gaining strength. "I can't go on like this. I can't keep feeling like a stranger in my own relationship."

"What are you talking about? 'Feeling like a stranger?' Are you leaving me?" he asked.

"Yes, Lando. I'm leaving. I don't deserve to be treated like this."

"Wait, so you were just going to leave without even trying to talk this out?" he asked, his voice filled with slight anger.

"Don't you even start, Lando. I've been trying to get through to you for so long. You never listen, you never talk to me. I can't keep doing this."

Lando shook his head, frustration mounting. "This is ridiculous, Y/N! You can't just give up without trying to work things out!"

"Lando, I tried so hard to try and make this work with you, but being here, with you, is hurting me. You hurt me," she said, voice trembling.

"You know what, leave. Leave me and don't bother coming back," Lando said. His anger was at an all-time high and he couldn't believe the things she was saying.

Y/N shook her head in disbelief. She knew this wouldn't end well but she didn't think it would end like this. She wanted to look at him for a second, just to take him in, knowing this would be the last time she would see him, but she held back knowing she didn't want this to be her last memory of him.

Y/N grabbed her bags and left, softly shutting the door behind her. She didn't give herself any time to think as she got in her car and drove to her friend's house.

-

As Y/N's footsteps faded away, the weight of her absence settled heavily on Lando's shoulders. His heart ached with the intensity of his emotions.

Tears streamed down his face, and he clutched his fists in frustration. Regret for his previous words and anger at himself for letting things deteriorate into this mess churned within him. He wished he had handled the situation differently, wished he had been more attentive to Y/N's needs, and now it was too late.

That night Lando did a lot of thinking.

He realized that he had taken Y/N for granted, not appreciating the depth of her love until she was gone. Her absence left an indelible void in his life, and the reality of her departure was a bitter pill to swallow. The silence of the house, once filled with their shared laughter and conversations, now echoed with the haunting sound of what could have been.

Regret gnawed at him as he reflected on the last few months. He realized that he had been distant, preoccupied, and emotionally absent. He had foolishly ignored her attempts to communicate and reconnect.

One thing Y/N said kept coming back to him.

"You hurt me."

The realization that he had hurt the person he loved most left a bitter taste in his mouth. Lando's heart ached not just from the loss of Y/N but from the knowledge that he had been the cause of her pain. He wished he could turn back time, to be the partner she deserved, to listen to her concerns, and to love her like he once did.

He decided that he needed to fight for her.

-

With a heart heavy with determination and hope, Lando found himself standing outside Y/N's friend's house, where she had sought refuge after their painful breakup.

It had been three weeks since Y/N left him and he thought they'd both had a lot of time to think.

The journey to this doorstep had been filled with self-reflection and a deep longing to make amends for his past mistakes. He couldn't imagine life without Y/N, and he was willing to do whatever it took to win her back.

As he knocked on the door, his knuckles rapped nervously against the wood. Moments later, the door creaked open, revealing Y/N standing on the other side. Her eyes met his, but they held a certain resolve, a guarded determination that he hadn't seen in her before.

"Lando," she said softly, her voice tinged with sadness.

Lando's heart skipped a beat. "Y/N, please, I... I've realized my mistakes, and I want to make things right. I love you, and I can't bear the thought of not being with you."

Y/N looked into his eyes, her expression pained but resolute. "Lando, it's not that simple. I appreciate your feelings, but the hurt we've been through runs deep, and it's time for us to move on."

Lando's eyes welled up with tears, and he reached out, wanting to touch her, to pull her close. But she gently stepped back, closing the door a fraction. "I've thought about this a lot, and I need to find my own happiness, even if it's without you," Y/N said, her voice firm but filled with sadness.

Lando's heart sank, the weight of her words crashing down on him. He knew he had pushed her to this point, and he couldn't fault her for wanting to protect herself. He nodded, tears streaming down his face, and stepped back from the door.

"Y/N, I understand," he whispered, his voice trembling. "I'll always love you, and I hope you find the happiness you deserve. And if you ever want somebody to share that happiness with I'll always be here."

With that, Y/N softly closed the door, leaving Lando standing outside, alone and heartbroken. The door symbolized not just the physical separation between them but also the emotional divide that had grown between their hearts. Lando knew that winning her back might be impossible, but he also understood that it was the consequence of his actions.

Can’t believe I have to explain this but Orpheus doesn’t turn around because he doesn’t care. Orpheus doesn’t turn around because he doesn’t trust her. Orpheus doesn’t turn around because he’s doomed by the narrative.

Orpheus turns around because he loves Eurydice.

Orpheus turns around because for a brief moment in his life he knew true happiness and the fulfillment of love but by his own deficiencies, his own distractions, he lost her. She died because he wasn’t around enough to notice she was dying. We don’t know what we truly have until we lose it.

Step away from the metaphor and remember that Hades courting/seducing/assaulting Eurydice is coded language for her dying. She died in the arms of another man not because she was unfaithful but because Orpheus was - he wasn’t there because he was too caught up in his own legend.

Then, he braves his own death to go where mortals cannot. He risks everything he has to go back and find her to make it up to her. Hades greets him there and offers a choice. A contest that cannot be won.

If Orpheus didn’t love Eurydice with every ounce of his soul then he wouldn’t have risked losing it to gain her back. He had nothing to gain but his love, he could have been much more heroic conquering kingdoms and killing monsters on the surface like so many other heroes. But Orpheus is what Heracles isn’t: where Heracles gives up love for his own godhood, Orpheus gives up his life to reconnect with his love.

It is love that makes him turn back for assurance that Eurydice is still there - the love he didn’t show her on the surface. He lost her because he wasn’t around, wasn’t paying attention to her until she literally died. Now, the only way for him to have her back is for him to neglect her again. Something he has sworn not to do. Something he has given up his life out of guilt and love to never do again. Hades punishes Orpheus for his sin by forcing him to recreate it. He lost Eurydice with neglect and now only neglect will save her.

But if he was still neglecting her he wouldn’t have come. If he was still uncaring and self obsessed then he would have moved on long ago. He has grown, matured, and he loves Eurydice with all he has.

How can he just go on without being sure she’s there this time?

Moreover, how can he be sure she would even want to come back to him?

It is love that motivates Orpheus. He’s not foolish or dumb, he’s learned that to love someone is to see them, to take care of them, to cherish them. And Hades knows this. He uses this love, this need to cherish against him. And Orpheus falls for it.

If you can’t understand that, then it is from your own lack of being pushed to the very brink and facing your own worst traits.

Appleradio Secret Marriage au part 6:

(I will be signing most of my asks with (~☆) since though I love being anonymous, I also need to be known since I'm an attention whore. And yes, I am also writing a Radioapple "Partners in Crime" au.)

(Let me thank Entropyatropa (hope I got the user right) for the kind reblog! I don't think I could write a 100000 word fic, but I do hope you enjoy this little au!)

Vaggie had previously hated the radio demon. Being raised as an angel taught her prejudice against demons and through her time in hell her opinions against him only solidified continuously.

She was fully prepared to fight him when he'd first arrived in the hotel, since she was probably the only always battle-ready one there and she needed to protect her family – even if the only one she actually cared for was Charlie, and maybe that pig of Angel's.

But for some reason he was somewhat kind? Offering his help with little to no things in return because he "wanted entertainment"? Unbelievable. It would be easier to believe that Angel hated sex – which, for Vaggie, was terribly hard to believe.

It was so unbelievable she almost burst into laughter, patting the radio demon on the shoulder and saying "Good joke." Which she stopped herself from doing. Lucky she had a lot of self control, especially so since she used to be an angel – she'd literally been raised holding back all her desires, even the innocent ones.

But it was visibly true that he wanted to help, irrefutable when he brought two more demons – Husk and Niffty, he called them – and volunteered their help. Kind of him, despite the fact that both of them were forced; Niffty was questionable though.

It was the way the radio demon treated her more as a daughter than an actual demon, or rather, someone he owned. It was the way he seemed fond of her. The way she seemed psychotic, almost yet not quite like him.

Now don't get Vaggie wrong, Husk was also suspicious. But less so. He visibly hated the radio demon, calling him every insult in the book but even Vaggie could tell there was an established line he wasn't crossing. She could see how he'd sometimes stand too close to the radio demon, the way he would sniff the radio demon – always a metre apart but he was smelling something and he liked the scent.

It was just different with Niffty and Alastor, since with them it was clear they were some sort of a criminal duo. Yet with Husk it seemed more like Stockholm syndrome, or something like that.

But of course, she didn't voice these concerns out loud. She didn't want to diminish the light in Charlie's eyes when they'd gained three more members to the hotel. It meant more chances for redemption and so on. Vaggie didn't really believe in it, but she wanted to support her girlfriend through everything.

They'd shared a gaze, communicating silently on whether to allow this but Charlie was too excited for Vaggie to refuse. So they were added and Vaggie was almost jealous at how quickly Charlie and Alastor got closer.

Alastor seemed to know too much about her, and even Charlie felt this way. Especially since they'd even talked about this at dark, on a weekend where Alastor would mysteriously disappear without warning or explanation.

And when Lucifer, or Sir Lucifer, or the King of Hell, or her future father-in-law, or Sir King of Hell, or Charlie's dad, or Lilith's ex-husband, or Father, or maybe just Lucifer in the end visited, things made even less sense. The way he'd almost forgotten that time existed when he stared at Charlie and Alastor for what could've been minutes with a dumb smile on his face. It was even more sweet than the way Charlie looked at her, and that was saying something.

And it made even more less sense when they seemed so domestic together, forgetting their rivalry in mornings when they'd tiredly prepare breakfast making their food exactly how the other wanted it without even a request, like telepathy. Vaggie also would wake up earlier than Charlie so she would see Lucifer tiredly latching on to Alastor as they'd prepare things and then after about ten minutes he'd slowly let go, whining as he did but still letting though. And then ten minutes after that Charlie would be down and the two girlfriends would just watch Alastor and Lucifer being sickeningly sweet together.

It was obvious they both could care less about Vaggie knowing. And she didn't know what to feel about it. Was this them saying they couldn't care less about her existence or something.

No, was Alastor manipulating her future father-in-law? It could, but then she'd see the look in Alastor's eyes and it reminded her of the way she and Charlie would look at each other. So she decided to keep their secret, it was their unspoken truce.

Vaggie didn't know what to do with this, though.

(Yes it is Chaggie. They're just too cute for me to take it away.)

(Clarification with Vaggie. Alastor and Lucifer would forget she was with them. In the beginning they were wary, didn't make much mistakes in the morning with her watching but soon the mornings would become habits and they'd forget about her. Lucifer would allow his clingy side to show and soon it was just a morning routine for them. Alastor would still prepare Vaggie's breakfast and give her some but he would forget she's watching. He did eventually remember but couldn't be bothered to stop the routine. Vaggie doesn't like nor hate Alastor but in the future she will think of him as family and will eventually call him mother when she gets married to Charlie. Charlie, when Alastor reveals the relationship to the whole hotel, will begin to call Alastor mother too. Yes, Vaggie likes Angel's pig more than she likes Angel himself.)

👀

I really don’t think we should be treating morality as a linear thing in ASOIAF because what often happens is that we start to stray from the actual conversations that we need to be having regarding the depths of making a moral choice and even the circumstances involved. To try and blankly paint any one character as the “most morally good” isn’t really taking us anywhere. And it certainly isn’t helpful when people in this fandom want to try and prove that characters are “grey” but not moral (what does that even mean??) because they did one “bad” thing. If ASOIAF stans were to have their way, then:

Jon is not a morally good person because he threatened Gilly

Dany cannot be considered to be compassionate because she sanctioned torture against the wine seller’s daughters

Arya cant be good because she has killed people

and so on, and so on….

But this is such a draining, and oft times frustrating, conversation to have because you see just how shallow the above listed examples are? Readers are listing only singular instances across a narrative that spans thousand and thousands of pages, and there’s absolutely no context involved. Why did Jon threaten Gilly? Why did Dany resort to torture and at one point did she do it? Who did Arya kill and why? And why do those singular instances negate everything else in their arcs?

What usually happens when we have the 12847647282th unnecessary conversation about who is the “most good” character in ASOIAF is that we start getting blanket statements with no elaboration. And the only people ever considered are Ned, Brienne, and Davos, and sometimes the children like Shireen or Tommen. Mind you, Ned and Davos are not perfect or without their own faults either; much has been said about Ned’s abilities as a father and it’s implied that Davos was not entirely faithful to his wife. And based on her current arc, Brienne will surely have to make morally tough choices regarding oaths and knightly honor. Plus theres the irony of including literal children when they have not been put in situations where they actually have to make morally difficult choices and live with the consequences.

ASOIAF shows us that people who are capable of incredible kindness and compassion are also capable of doing unpleasant things.

Jon threatened Gilly….because he was trying to save another child whom he believed to be at risk of human sacrifice(!!) and was stuck between a rock and a hard place. But why does that singular instance negate the fact that his arc has been about him standing up for the “lesser than”? Why does that negate the fact that he stood up for Sam against a superior when there was nothing to gain for him? Why does it negate the fact that he went out of his way to equip Arya in a way that society would have deemed inappropriate? Why does it negate the fact that he dedicated the entirety of his time as Lord Commander to fight an institution that had upheld racism/xenophobia for millennia? Why should we filter out all those moments of kindness, compassion, and deep empathy that Jon has even without him thinking?

Dany sanctioned torture….but she was trying to solve the murder of an innocent victim AND this brought her no joy. But why does that negate the fact that when she gained unimaginable power, she could’ve high tailed to Westeros to use it to her benefit and become queen, but instead chose to stay in Essos where she has no personal responsibility just so she could fight the institutional evil that is slavery? Why does it negate Dany who went to personally treat plague victims at great risk to herself?

Arya has killed some….but it’s in self defense or in defense of others who are disenfranchised. But why does this negate that she is one of the few people in the series how goes out of her way to show kindness and friendship to those who are not as economically or politically advantaged as she is (e.g., Mycah)? Why does it negate that she took fellow slaves under her protection when she herself had little power to fight for her own survival at Harrenhall? Why does it negate that when she saw those caged soldiers whom she was angry with for their actions, instead of leaving them to die instead offered them the only kindness she could at the moment: a drink of water?

Trying to have arguments about morality but stripping everything down to ‘x character did y bad thing (regardless of context) and that’s why they can’t be good’ is, to be blunt, ridiculous. And it isn’t a particularly interesting way to engage with the text. Character journeys, especially well written ones, are rarely ever in a straight line. There’s amazing highs and terrible lows. GRRM gives us so many characters like Jon, Dany, Arya, Sansa, Ned, etc. who even in their lows, have gleams of compassion and exceptional kindness. It doesn’t do anyone any good to filter those moments out to make the books more digestible; and I’m being a little generous here, because so many readers have a very shallow level of engagement with the series and it shows in conversation. And we also shouldn’t pit these characters unfairly against those who have never been in similarly difficult situations that required them to make hard choices. Because when we do, we start to completely miss the point all together.

Since I saw someone else talking about their fucked up ideas, I am too lol because I suddenly remebered them. But, pretty much just how my lore making brain decides to look at characters.

Kinger: He’s a king chess piece, obviously. He didn’t have to work for that position, unlike the queen, no chess piece can ever become the king, but a pawn can prove itself and become a queen, in a way. Kinger is now forced to be a lowly magician, because he never had to work for anything on his way up. Cracks from pressure, knowing he didn’t do anything, and now has to make up for it, whist his queen, the one who worked to gain that role, is no longer around

Ragatha: A rag doll, something that is quite literally a toy, old, not many people would chose that sort of doll over the newer kinds. Tossed around, ripped, lost, decapitated— so what? It’s a doll. If the doll breaks, you can just sew her back together again. If she does something wrong, you can watch her unravel in front of your eyes until you decide to stitch her back together again, though no one really cares for fixing her. She can be replaced easily, and so easily broken, used and abused by people endlessly, that’s what she’s made for. If she gets too chatty, you can just take out your thread and needle to shut her up

Pomni: A ballerina, she looks quite beautiful when she dances, she is a living ‘doll’, a puppet. A puppet by the strings, not much she can do, but be there helplessly as the ringmaster tugs them. A puppet, also a doll, are just used by someone else’s hand, she has no control over what they might make her do in the circus, and she never will.

Gangle and Aingle: The two sisters, ‘twins’ even if one of them doesn’t actually exist. A false persona, a forever toxic relationship, in a way. Bound to someone who looks like you, is always around you, but acts nothing like you do, wants to be the opposite of you, in a way. With all that ribbon, Caine could really tie the loose ends of the circus, like the abstraction issue for example…

Zooble: Quite handy with a thread and needle if they do say so themselves. Almost like the druggie of the whole group, they let intrusive thoughts kick in one day and than… they could never have enough. Dysphoric, their body never looked normal anyways in the first place, so it didn’t matter if they took parts of those now gone and tried to use them to fill the void of their own ever ending spiral of lack of self-esteem, right? They never liked the person in the mirror, so they change it every day, it only feels normal to be scavenging the halls after hair raising screams of pain can be heard in the hallway, sewing parts together to make something they enjoyed. A bad habit? Of course not, they never see it that way, they are simply making use of what others never appreciated, and now aren’t around to appreciate

Jax: The fluffy murder set bunny, we all love him. His silly little pranks go from sudden silly string ambushes, to agonizingly terrible ways for any mortal being to die— good thing you can’t! Caine would never let you. He’s just a bunny, a sweet little guy who wants nothing else but to put a smile on your face— well, that’s a lie, all he wants now is to satisfy his needs, and out a smile on his face. What is he thinking? You’ll probably never know, ever since Kaufmo disappeared for a few hours and came back, starting to act differently from normal, Jax acts like it’s the end of the world. Silly Jax, it’s just all fun and games! Kaufmo needed some help, so Caine got our friendly twins to help tie up those loose ends!

…Basically random shit, character design analogies and random ominous comments I thought of on the spot for these guys

.

GG: you said you are asking me permission first and i appreciate that GG: but if you are asking im afraid my answer is no! AT: oKAY, i RESPECT THAT, AT: bUT, i WONDER, GG: what? AT: i WONDER IF A TRULY SELF CONFIDENT GUY, wITH THE BEST SELF ESTEEM THERE IS, wOULD EVEN NEED TO ASK, AT: mAYBE THE BEST GUY WOULD JUST KNOW HE WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL, aND WOULD DO IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, aND EVERYONE ELSE'S,

I don't think Tavros is just emulating Vriska here. This is a very Alternian mindset, and it's one we've seen before.

Alternia is, after all, an empire. It's a society whose idea of success is inexorably tied to violence and domination - so if you're trying to be a better troll, you'll probably gravitate to both, even if you don't realize it.

It's not really about your personality, either. Karkat is, by all accounts, one of the more moral trolls in the party - but as we've seen above, even he's got those imperial instincts. This sort of thing is insidious, and once it worms its way into your brain, it can be hard to shake.

Tavros is a very straightforward example. He's finally gained some 'confidence' - and what's his first impulse?

To seize a useful resource from an alien, and use it against her will.

GG: that would be smug and arrogant and would make you a bully!!! [...] AT: yOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT ALL THAT, i'LL RESPECT YOUR WISHES, AT: oR, AT: wILL i? };) GG: nooooooooo dont dont dont dont dont GG: im serious GG: uuuuggghh i think my headache is coming back AT: i WAS jUST, AT: mAKING A JOKE, AT: sORRY, }:(

This dude cannot read a room. Truly, the anti-Terezi.

Oh, leave off.

AG: Next time you decide to open your heart to an alien girl…….. AG: Make sure her chat client isn't 8eing holographically projected for all to see, ok?

This exploit should apply to chat clients of any size, provided the screen is visible. Maybe John's Pesterchum Glasses were a better investment than I thought.

AG: Jade let you down too easy. She's too nice! Someone's got to tear into you for that appalling display, and once again, guess who's shoulders that falls on? AG: That's right. Vriska's, as usual.

Tavros probably does need someone to explain what he did wrong, but it should be anyone but Vriska. This is obviously just going to be more bullying, and no actual advice.

AT: i THINK SHE HAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF NICENESS, pERSONALLY, AT: aN AMOUNT THAT IS SOME, iNSTEAD OF, AT: nONE,

Showing backbone against Vriska, eh? Finally, a constructive use for all that confidence.

Progress is progress, even when it's just a minor clapback.

AG: Hey, I'm nice when it matters, [...]

Nope, I'm calling Vriska's bluff. What nice things has she done so far, exactly?

Sure, she made Tavros the rocket chair, but only after mercilessly tormenting him for his physical condition, which she caused.

Plus, this wasn't even a real apology gift. She kept bullying him after that, and is literally doing so as we speak.

I guess she also made Aradia's soulbot, as an 'apology' for murdering her with her own boyfriend. To be precise, she had Equius make it, with horrific results that she should probably have seen coming.

She also thought that it would be 'nice' to tell Terezi that her blindness 'wasn't that bad'. This conversation was kind of complicated, though, and I'm not sure what her actual intention was.

Anyway, it's pretty clear that Vriska doesn't really grok what 'nice' means. She gives Tavros a rocket chair, continues to torment him, and doesn't understand the contradiction, because she doesn't think his feelings actually matter.

[...] and where it doesn't strangul8te the critical development of people I give a shit a8out, ok?

"After all, no one was ever nice to ME, and look how gr8 I turned out! When you think about it, it's actually a GOOD thing that no one ever showed me kindness! It made me strong! Don't you want to 8e stroooooooong, Pupa? ::::D"

I'm reminded of this exchange from Hivebent. Kanaya recommends that Vriska practice some basic self-care, and Vriska completely flies off the handle, furious at the mere suggestion that she should be kind to herself.

Vriska thinks kindness will harm her. She refuses to accept it, and avoids showing it to anyone, which makes her remarkably consistent in her cruelty. I'm willing to bet that there's nothing she's said to Tavros that she hasn't already said to herself.

This sounds like an amazing scene. Please tell me more.

so Valentine and Reaver (tentative names, i'm still not sure i like them) are both extremely damaged people living utterly miserable lives in a pre-apocalyptic world. Valentine is a celebrity, a star soldier, a former no-name nobody orphan of the apocalypse who gained fame and fortune and success through apparent sheer good fortune, hard work, and innate charisma. but she has no identity outside of piloting. they lost their entire world as a kid when her town was destroyed, and as a result of that traumatic experience developed the belief that the only way she can ever hope to matter or be worth anything is by making a name for themself, making herself impossible to ignore, for fear of dying alone and forgotten. so they've dedicated their whole life to piloting, and sustain themself on the praise and adoration of the masses and her superiors, and have virtually no life outside of that, let alone plans or dreams for the future. she doesn't often let herself entertain her own personal desires, believing it's pointless; doesn't form connections with other people outside of the professional and transactional because they feel they have nothing else to offer. they're a shell of a person, a pretty face for the propaganda posters and a brilliant smile and shiny medal-laden uniform for the press and a machine of war to inspire the troops. and because of her single-minded total dedication to piloting, she's always first to volunteer for combat and last to accept any assistance or admit to any perceived weakness; their body is literally falling apart from pushing it too hard and hidden beneath their clothes is a patchwork of skin grafts and wounds that refuse to heal held together by glue and stitches and infection that's slowly spreading and killing them. but Valentine is determined to keep going until she drops or dies in combat, to be a martyr for the cause and for public opinion. she has nothing else.

Reaver is more or less the opposite. he's washed-up, a failure, out of time; a good soldier and a good man but a bitter, lonely, cynical wreck of a person. he was never recognized for his efforts like his peers, possessed too much candor and not enough charisma to ingratiate himself with his superiors, was well-liked but always secondary at best to those who burned brighter and were willing to compromise their principles and ethics in exchange for opportunities for advancement and promotion. he drinks too much, cares for himself too little, treats every opportunity to save lives like an obligation and every failure like an inevitability, pushes everyone away before they even get close out of fear of being hurt or abandoned again, and has generally made himself hard to love. at the same time, he's resentful, aloof and unapproachable, sneering with contempt at everyone around him and taking a certain grim satisfaction in self-sabotage and lashing out because it allows him to justify his misery. he and Valentine hate each other because he pities Valentine more than he resents them; he sees Valentine as naive, overconfident and shallow, a bright young thing that will be used til it burns, so he's cruel to her. and Valentine, in turn, is furious at Reaver for his selfish attitude, for allowing himself to descend into despair and self-loathing at the expense of potentially the entire rest of the world, for giving up the opportunity to do good and childishly railing against everyone who comes near him because he didn't get patted on the head enough for his efforts.

they absolutely loathe each other at first, because they see their worst fears in each other, their worst selves, who they could have been if things had just been a little different, and the brutal truth that they would be no better off or happier in the other's place. however, they're forced to work together and regularly be in close proximity to one another by the inexorably advancing apocalypse and budget cuts in military spending, and their bitter conflict helps to peel back the layers and walls they've built up around themselves and get them to confront how badly they've been failed and hurt by the rest of the world and begin to find solace in each other, in their shared experiences and pain and the love and comfort and hope and meaning they can offer each other.

"I imagine that ‘some things are deeper than skin’ is the line they wanted to get out of it. (For me that fell flat and overall I think once again Rogue drew the short straw just to accommodate her relationship with Remy but that’s a different conversation all together)."

Okay, here i was reading this ask in the tag and saw this. Now you've piqued my interest. When you've got the time i'd love to know your thoughts on this. 😯

hey there traveler! 🌠 I said that? Oops, might have thought that one out-loud. Silly me. 😶 Well, we’re here now so we might as well drive this one home. 'Some things are deeper than skin' was a shallow take on the situation for the trio, imo. It felt like a sticker placed on top of a damaged car. Some things are definitely deeper than skin. So are Rogue's feelings for Erik. So is what her time with him inspired in her. For someone who was a terrorist, who presented drastic solutions to the world, not once did he try to push that onto Rogue. On the contrary, it was made clear that, in the time they spent together in TAS, he taught her to see her powers not as a curse but as an essential part of who she is. He spoke to her about what it really means to embrace her identity, about building a future that makes her feel proud of who she is, about her powers creating a sense of belonging instead of discomfort, shame, and alienation. His presence in her life taught her not to fear who she is, not to put limits on what she can do, it taught her to be a part of the world she wants to see herself living in. THAT is why she fell in love with him. That is the Erik that Rogue loves. The whole 'touch' only came in later. We already see her falling in love with him before they even considered the possibility of touching. I love Gambit with all my heart, but in that scene he didn't consider a single thing of what Rogue had to say about why she wanted to be part of Genosha's future. He literally went ahead and did the opposite of what Erik had done - he made Rogue revert into herself and feel the pain of her inability to touch for the sole purpose of romantic and sexual gain. That line was ultimately used to show that Remy was in the right, to frame him as the one that's been hurt, with close to no consideration for Rogue and what she wanted from life. He says 'some things are deeper than skin' and it feels off coming from him, someone who has the privilege of sharing a connection based on touch with others. It makes Remy come across as not listening to what's being said. And I know his words in that interaction can be read as romantic in the sense of 'we can overcome anything'. It's a valid interpretation, but it doesn't work for me. I'd rather two partners try and understand each other and listen to each other than dismiss it with a 'we'll find a way'. Especially when one of them is deeply affected by it. It just isn't my jam. So having Rogue echo the 'some things are deeper than skin' fell flat because it only addressed part of the reason why her and Erik shared something. I think there is love in Rogue for both men and, unlike Magneto, Gambit is just not willing to accept it. It has to be him and only him. All this when he's had a lifetime prior to Rogue of experiencing intimacy, touch and relationships and understanding what he wants and what he values. In this instance it just feels like he's indirectly manipulating Rogue's emotions, making her sink into guilt and self-doubt (very important to note here that he's not doing it on purpose, but as an instinctive reaction to his own emotions - because this speaks both of his qualities and his flaws). So when Rogue says ‘Remy was right, some things are deeper than skin’ I think that is her guilt and insecurity talking.

I grew up with ROMY as my OTP but then, in time, that flame died and my view of the ship shifted. Part of the reason is because I started seeing a pattern in their relationship where often times Rogue would end up being the one pulled down, having to accommodate, accept and even apologize for things. And I was just not vibing with it anymore.

The characterization of Klaus in his fanfics is just insane.

First of all, this is gonna be bashing to 96% of Klaus’s fanfics lmao. I still love reading them tho.

But straight to the point, why are people writing him as if he would ever allow someone, anyone, to disrespect him the way authors make their ocs do??? No, Klaus wouldn't be giggling and shit if you call him "puppy" or "Santa Klaus", he's literally gonna murder you in the spot and even worse lmao.

I've read so much stories where the protagonist is constantly insulting Klaus and bickering with him (it's funny tho) and he just... allows it. Yes, Klaus, the man who's literally shown to tear off heads whenever someone as much breathes in the wrong way, and yet he allows this teen (because in 99% of fanfics the protagonist is a girl not over nineteen, at least physically) to talk shit about him.

Like I absolutely love those kind of stories, they're good and I'll continue reading them, but the Klaus they write is 100% ooc. And I understand why, because as someone who used to write fanfics of him, his character is just so difficult to write but it doesn't seem like they even try to.

Moving to another famous trope in his fanfics: soulmate stories. I find it very ooc that he would actually accept he has a soulmate: he wouldn't believe it, he's literally the most paranoid character of tvdu, Klaus would 100% believe it's just a plot made to control him and he would probably kill his soulmate, only to regret it forever. Or those "I've been seeing her/having dreams about her for a thousand of years, she's without a doubt the person I'm meant to love forever", what?? 😭

If Klaus ever saw this person in real life, there are just two possibilities I can think of:

A) he would be extremely paranoid and would kill this person on the spot

B) he would be extremely paranoid, but decides to not kill x person for some barely explained reason and would get to know her/him and perhaps fall in love.

I'm aware Klaus can and has been soft in canon: with his family (in occasions, more in New Orleans modern era), with Hayley, Marcel, and Cami. I mean, Klaus loved Cami so much he actually begged her to not leave him, to fully turn into a vampire because he was terrified of losing her, and a decade after her death he was still in love with her (something a certain part of the fandom fails to see lmao).

The fanfics where he cheats with Hayley/Cami/Caroline/ Genevieve/Aurora or he just cheats while he's in a relationship also are ooc imo. If he's in a commited relationship and he loves the person he's with, I don't see him as the cheater type, especially because he wasn't sleeping around in the program.

But either way, show me the fanfics with true depiction. Show me fanfics where he's so screwed up that he continually pushes the person he loves away, where he constantly hurts them with/without intention as he did to his siblings, where he constantly uses his s/o for his own personal gain or similar. Where he's actually his true self, the man he was in tvd before having Hope and even after having Hope, because she actually did not change him that much.

I think I only found three fics like that: one in ao3 called I Would Hurt A Fly, where the oc was a witch or something like it and he used her as a personal sex toy/blood bag but there were slight hints of his love but sadly was deleted.

Or the ones written by @viavolterra and @saintsir4n, the way they write Klaus is the closest I've ever seen to his canon self and it's genuinely good writing. Patisserie is also a really good written fanfic that writes the characters well, but it's a poly Mikaelson fic (which it's even better, the more the best)

Either way, a violent man isn't gonna change with the power of love and family. The Originals tried doing that with Hope and they failed, because Klaus was the same man he was at the start, just slightly less mean to his family.

31 - Somebody that you used to know

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Jungwon has never wanted to skip school more in his life. He hates it; the sympathetic looks he gets as he walks through the halls, the hushed whispers from eager onlookers wondering just what happened between him and Y/n. If being in a relationship in high school was bad, publicly breaking up is much worse.

It doesn’t help that Y/n is now seemingly back to normal - leaving people to believe that they were the one who dumped him. Although it is technically true… if only they knew the reason. Jungwon would never tell them though; he’s not one for gossip. And despite how much Y/n hurt him, he would never do something like that to them.

Seeing Y/n back to their normal sarcastic self is strange. Jungwon can’t lie, he did slightly enjoy seeing Y/n moping around school. No teasing, no over-the-top outfits. Just Y/n, in Jungwon’s jacket, feeling the exact same way that he did. It almost tricked him into thinking they were just as sad as he is. Almost.

“Hey, Prez!”

Jungwon pulls out one of his earbuds, turning towards the call of his nickname. There, stands Wonyoung and Ricky - smiling happily at him. “Oh… hey guys.” He replies. “We were gonna head to the library after school because Y/n and Bahiyyih have a project to work on. Is there any council work you need us to do?” Wonyoung asks happily. She quickly notices the way Jungwon’s body momentarily tenses at the mention of Y/n.

“Sorry… I should’ve asked if you were comfortable with us hanging out with them.” She mumbles, causing Jungwon to scratch the back of his neck sheepishly. “Why? It’s not like I control who you hang out with.” He laughs. “Well yeah but… we don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anything.” She continues, earning an assertive nod from Ricky to back her up.

“Guys, you’re allowed to be friends with whoever you want.  It’s not like we got divorced and you’re picking your favourite parent.” Jungwon says. “Kinda feels like it…” Ricky mumbles, immediately getting a “shut up” nudge from Wonyoung.

“Okay, well was there anything you needed us to do? Or just, work that you want us to take off your hands?” Wonyoung asks hopefully. Jungwon pauses to think for a moment. He can’t remember the last time someone offered to do something for him. It’s usually the other way round, him doing favours for everyone who asks, no matter how overloaded he becomes.

Jungwon has a lot on his plate. Not even just with council stuff - his own work as well, let alone the whole Y/n issue that he’s dealing with. Despite all this, he shows a polite smile and shakes his head. “Thanks but I’ve got it all covered. I’d hate to put extra pressure on you guys. I’ll let you know if anything else comes up, though.” He smiles.

Wonyoung and Ricky go to reply but Jungwon quickly spins on his heels, mumbling something about getting to class before walking off down the hallway. Sending each other a worried look, the two make their way back to Y/n and the rest of the group.

“He said he had everything covered.” Ricky shrugs, earning a sigh from Y/n. “That’s bullshit. Last week he was literally crying about how stressed he is.” They mumble, defeated. “Thanks for trying though.” Y/n adds, smiling when Wonyoung gently squeezes their shoulder. “I think maybe you should talk to him. If you’re worried about him, this could be a great way to get him to open up again.” She suggests. “I’ll think about it…” Y/n sighs.

Finding Jungwon is a very simple task for Y/n. With all the time they spent with him over the last couple of months, they know his schedule as if it were their own. So it’s no surprise to find him in Mr Jeon’s empty classroom just before final period is about to start.

Letting out a sigh, Y/n gently knocks on the open door - gaining the attention of the council president. Jungwon’s head shoots up, his eyes immediately widening as they land on Y/n.

“Sorry… Do you need to use this space? I’ll move.” Jungwon blurts out, rushing to collect his things. “I came to talk to you.” Y/n says, their words immediately halting Jungwon’s movements. It’s silent for a moment as Jungwon tries to think of any excuse to get out of this situation. “We don’t have to… I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” Jungwon stutters out, avoiding eye contact.

Sighing, Y/n walks into the room and moves to lean against Mr Jeon’s desk. They considered sitting in the seat next to Jungwon but figured that proximity would likely scare him off. “We don’t have to talk about us if you don’t want to, but I’m here to talk about you.” Jungwon awkwardly laughs at this - he’s never been the best at confrontation. “What about me?” He asks, eyes quickly flickering to glance at Y/n’s expression before moving back to stare at his book.

“Wonyoung and Ricky offered to take over some of the council work so that you’re not overwhelmed and you turned them down… why?” Y/n’s words cause Jungwon’s entire body to tense, as he looks up at them with a confused expression. “How do you know about that?” He asks.

Now it’s Y/n’s turn to be nervous, as they begin to fiddle with the sleeve of their jacket. Well, Jungwon’s jacket. “I may have… told them that you were working really hard and that I was worried about you… and suggested that they try to help where they can.” Y/n mumbles out. With Y/n’s confession, the room falls quiet for a few moments before Jungwon speaks:

“Did I ask you to do that?”

Y/n’s head snaps up at his words, looking at him confused. “I… Jungwon, I did it because I’m worried. Besides, you know I don’t do as I’m asked.” “Do I know that? I barely know you at all, Y/n.” Jungwon bites back.

For the first time in a while, Y/n is rendered speechless. “I’m fine, okay? And I definitely don’t need you worrying about me or interfering with my life. Just leave me alone, Y/n.” Jungwon sighs, picking up his remaining things and shoving them into his bag.

“Jungwon, wait!” Y/n calls out as he goes to move past them. “It doesn’t have to be me, okay? It can be Wonyoung or Ricky, even Niki, Shota, Jongseob, anybody. Just please… let someone help you. You said you told me things that you’d never told anyone else… even if I’m not in your life anymore, knowing what I know about you… I want to do something. Even if it’s through other people. Just let me help.” Y/n says, almost desperately.

Jungwon pauses slightly at their words before shaking his head slightly. “You don’t know me, Y/n. And I definitely don’t need your help.” Jungwon speaks before walking out of the classroom.

The situation is almost identical to the one just a week ago, although this time, Y/n is the one left in the classroom as they watch Jungwon walk away. They don’t want to cry, knowing that they deserve every bit of the way Jungwon is treating them. Still, they can’t help the salty tear that slowly slips down their cheek. They have no idea how to fix this.

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The Apothecary Diaries

S1Ep2 First watch

Review with spoilers for episode 2 under the cut.

(Which is mostly me ripping into Jinshi.)

Jinshi. My man. I'm both exasperated and excited to see you try your plan to seduce Maomao.

I saw it in episode 1 when you easily maneuvered Maomao into exposing herself and confessing, so I knew you were somewhat crafty. Also, this being a palace intrigue story, I do expect some shady stuff. Even so, I was hoping you would be upfront and honest with Maomao. She was forthcoming with her background, skills, and why she stepped forward to help the sick infants (I'm of the opinion she may have additional secrets that she has not yet revealed, but even so), and yet Jinshi is planning on using dishonest methods to try and control her.

He's a handsome man in power, he's probably used to being able to influence women with seduction. However, I think this plan is likely to fail. Maomao nearly spontaneously combusted when someone joked about her becoming a courtesan, so I'm guessing his flirting will either fluster her in a way that doesn't seduce her or she will find it bafflingly or dishonest and do her best to ignore it. I'm here for anything, whatever goes down I know it's going to be entertaining.

I just met Maomao last episode and I already know seduction is the wrong method to use with her. He would find more success by appealing to her sense of responsibility, justice, or even just her curiosity. He's too smart. I predict that he'll figure this out sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, I hope this seduction plan backfires terribly for him. I want him to end up seducing himself and for Maomao to gain that power over him, where Jinshi hoped to take it from her. I want him to suffer in his desire for her, and eventually I want Maomao to return his affection, but not until he gets what he deserves for trying to manipulate her.

Oh! Okay, I didn't guess that. She's grossed out by him. Maybe I've read this all wrong. *Me rethinking everything. Trying to see earlier scenes in new shades* I'm not convinced she won't like him eventually, but if she is repulsed by men it would explain a few things....

Oh no! Or if she has sexual trauma! That would explain things as well. Ahhh! I hope not! This show won't go that dark will it? *Remembers human trafficking and infant death in the first episode*

At first glance the other ladies in waiting seem nice enough. They are fast to fill in gaps with their own assumptions and immediately gossip about it, so Maomao will want to watch that, but they at least seem compassionate.

Once again we are reminded of Maomaos self harm tendencies with her experiments on herself. In a flashback her father simply laughed and said "that's my little mad scientist." I wonder if she's ever had someone looking out for her that truly cared about her well being? She seems very self sufficient but Maomao deserves to have someone who makes her feel safe and cared for, especially since she's not protecting herself.

For fucks sake Jinshi! Once again he is setting up tests for Maomao without her even knowing she's being tested. In this case he had the food presented in ceramic bowls rather than the more useful silver to see if she would mention it. She did, once again proving her reliability and knowledge.

Princess Peach (I haven't learned this lady-in-waitings name yet but her hair piece looks like PPs crown so I'm going with that for now): If you had spoken up earlier and told someone you were literate, you would have received higher wages.

Maomao: I was kidnapped and brought here against my will. And taking into account that part of my earnings get sent back to the people who stole me, I wasn't exactly eager to.

PP: Basically, you would rather take less pay if it means not supplying the scoundrels who took you with extra drinking money?

This exchange is interesting to me and I think could be seen a couple of ways. On the one hand it could be seen that Maomao would rather suffer herself to ensure that her enemies also suffer than to allow herself to prosper if it means her enemies could also prosper. It could be seen as an act of malice at her own expense. Which... it is. But, that view doesn't account for Maomao's feelings about it which I'm guessing are more self-sacrificing. She would gladly forsake better pay because it's the right thing to do. Evil should not be allowed to prosper and it certainly won't do so with Maomao's help. She'd pick her own suffering every time to prevent injustice.

Goddammit Jinshi! Did he knowingly give Maomao food with an aphrodisiac in it?! What an asshole. He plays so dirty. Thank goodness Maomao is too skilled to fall for that, and now she's on to him.

And Maomao casually solves another mystery, with minimal evidence. She's way too good at this. It could become a problem if she solves an actual crime instead of the two accidental poisonings that she's done up to now. We know someone has tried to poison the concubine twice already so there is someone nafarious in the palace to watch out for. Depending on who it is, if Maomao exposes their crimes, they will probably come for her too.

Jinshi, you bastard! He knows his flirting isn't working, and she easily avoided being secretly dosed with an aphrodisiac, but ask her to make one herself? Well shit, he can get her to dose herself.

Okay so the emperor deliberately placed Jinshi in the back palace to test his concubine's loyalty, but I've got no time to dwell on that because HOLY SHIT! Does Jinshi have a degradation kink! I love that for him!

Meanwhile, Maomao's kink is apothecary ingredients. Lol! She's too funny!

Maomao. Just what am I supposed to believe here. You act disgusted by Jinshi's attempts at seduction but then you think stuff like this:

If he were to come on to someone, blushing and with those looks, it's over.

I'm sure it would be enough to captivate anyone. Male or female.

Moving forward we get this ominous exchange from the concubine and princess Peach:

PP: so the new girl is capable of making drugs.

Concubine: what a beneficial skill.

Does Maomao even realize what it means that she can identify poisons and make them? In a harem setting?! She'll be suspect #1 if anyone gets poisoned, especially considering she's a commoner of low position, meaning she's expendable. Plus, people will be trying to manipulate her into using her skills for their machinations (*cough* Jinshi *cough*). I feel like this story is in the calm before the storm.

There are so many dangers around Maomao and she's so completely alone. She's got her knowledge, skills, and wit but she is so outnumbered and outmatched. I hope she will find a powerful or useful ally.

Fucking Jinshi! This dude's out here stroking her hair, kissing her neck, and whispering in her ear?! Maomao has given no indication that she would welcome his advances, but of course he doesn't care about that. He's out to seduce her. Dick. Joke's on him though, he's going to pay for stealing that chocolate from her. If for no other reason than he'll be left wanting more. Hmmm. That's probably a metaphor.

Actually, now that I've said that, I think that might be right. Jinshi is trying to his best to distract Maomao while stealing the fruits of her labor. Both literally in this scene as well as more generally in all of their interactions. Jinshi has been delighted as Maomao has risen to every challenge and passed every test. Unlike other women in the palace, Maomao doesn't swoon with a sultry look, she resists that, even if she isn't completely immune. He's intrigued already. And he'll be wanting more. I can only hope Maomao keeps him at a distance for awhile. At least long enough for him to really get to know her, understand and learn to respect her.

Her response to Jinshi this time was notably different from before when he flirted with her. This time he didn't use his looks (she couldn't even see him), or any flirty comments. Instead he gently brushed her braid aside and kissed the back of her neck then whispered his appreciation to her. I am once again curious about her past. Did she have anyone in her life to offer her physical affection? Also, thanking her and acknowledging her hard won skills? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's going to work on Maomao. So if Jinshi has a degradation kink then maybe Maomao has a praise kink. That should be fun for them.

But also, why did Jinshi want Maomao to make an aphrodisiac? Was it just for the concubines to use with the emperor?

Now that I've gotten to the end of the episode I've got to go back and ponder about the emperor sending Jinshi specifically to the back palace. Jinshi and his servant are chatting about an incident when a concubine invited Jinshi to her room and Jinshi describes the incident as

an indiscretion we cannot abide.

And I wonder who he means by "we." We as in the back palace? The empire? The harem hierarchy? The imperial family?

Then the servant states a little indignantly:

But to place you in the rear palace, and using your beauty as a means to test their true character...

Why so indignant on the behalf of the rear palace manger? He's got a high position. Power. Respect. By most metrics he's doing great and his placement in the rear palace should be seen as an honor. It would only be seen as an indignation if one were coming from an even higher position. And what's higher than the emperor's harem?

To which Jinshi laughs and responds:

Our emperor can be quite cunning. We all use whatever we're given.

What would be cunning about sending a handsome palace official to the harem to test their loyalty? Seems like a reasonable request. It's the emperor's perogative to appoint his officials as he sees fit. To use what he's been given. Is there some reason it is remarkable to send Jinshi specifically to the rear palace?

Then to what seems like a non sequitur (but isn't!) Jinshi starts talking, fondly, about how Maomao gave him a death glare.

I've never had anyone look at me so harshly in my life!

Really? Never? No one has ever glared at you? How novel... for a prince. I guessed that last episode with zero evidence just based on a twist I'd like to see, but I'm a lot more confident about it after this exchange.

It is also the link that explains how the conversation jumped from how unusual it is that the emperor sent Jinshi to the rear palace to his delightful experience of being glared at.

Jinshi being a prince also adds color to some of his behavior. His expectation that women will fall for his flirtations, his entitlement, sense of privilege, not to mention the deference he receives.

I'm so intrigued by this story. These characters are 💋🤌

If you liked this, you might like my review for episode 1.

Episode 1 review

Episode 3

ommggg i read let me down easy today and i kept re-reading it bc its TOO GOOD AHH !!🦅🦅

it hurt so much but im a whore for angst first, and a human second🫶

just thinking about the reader suffering in silence because she feels guilty for having any negative feelings towards finnick :(( the way she dismisses those feelings bc she thinks that whatever she’s going through is nothing compared to what he’s been through :((

also thinking abt finnick’s slow realization that she’s suffering because of him :(( like the incident at the market is when he began to notice the changes :(( and later when he fully understands how his behavior affected her IT MESSES HIM UP SO BAD

i just know he was remembering his past interactions with reader (where she breaks the glass / when she rejected his money at the pearl necklace stand) AND CRINGING …and it only gets worse when reader spills her guts about what she went through. omg ik he was sick.

another #thougjt i had was how this might mess up the reader for a bit after too #idk (that just might be me tho lmaoo) bc i feel like once you’ve been in that cycle of feeling depressed/insecure for so long it’s hard to snap out of, even with constant reassurance 😔

But maybe that’s just my angsty side talking HAHA

but i loved this fic, 11/10🫶

-🦅

omg yes, literally my favorite thing I've ever written. ik I wrote it, but it's the only thing of mine I reread bc it's like the perfect expression of how I feel, like if I could represent myself in one fic it would be that one if that makes any sense. it's like a concept that always haunts my mind no matter what I'm hyperfixating on maybe because I'm just like melancholy like that 🎀🎀🎀

but thank you so much, I'm literally so glad people are enjoying it because it literally is my own roman empire

yes she wants to be angry, she is angry, but refuses to let herself be because his issues are what she needs to prioritize. how can she be angry when he is constantly suffering? even if it's not so slowly tearing her apart, like a piece of paper sitting in water, she's trying to stay connected for the illusion of it all, to be strong for him.

her being loving isn't new to him, so he isn't thrown off by that, only slightly confused by her waking up earlier then usual. so her gifts have little bearing when he's used to it and he really doesn't want to feel loved right now because he's trying to reject whatever will make him seek comfort. when she starts changing her clothes and makeup, it's different, but he's not responsive because she's always been his pretty girl and always will be, her buying new clothes doesn't make him perceive her any differently or wonder if there's a reason, people try out new things.

when he notices how other peoples interactions with her have changed that's when he really starts to notice, if everyone else perceives her as melancholy then something has to be wrong. even if he's not quick to point the finger back to himself. he tries gifts, maybe she wouldn't buy something because she wanted him to do it, some sort of attention, but it's not big enough part of the issue to have any bearing on the effects it's now had on her. the girl rotting depression era shall we say. eventually through that, what people say to him, self-reflection he gains full consciousness of what he's been doing, how he's been hurting the person he loves so much. and the guilt is incomprehendable.

how could he be so selfish? so closed off as not to process all the clear cries for help? thinking about how he was getting annoyed, feeling like she was being moody when she insisted on doing the dishes until the dish broke. how she ran out into the ocean, in the rain without a care to regain some sense of composure, composure to try and make him happy. then the necklace thing, how could he miss her clearly trying just to be with him, be near him, have the interactions with him that he was giving to the girl at the shop instead? he was so unresponsive to the emotional needs he just assumed it to be a material need that he was willing to give. so when she rejects the money it just doesn't compute, to buy it she needs it, and then she tries to send the message that buying something isn't what she's asking for but he misses it completely. he gets snappy and it snaps her.

so when he's finally talking to her, he needs her to tell him the truth, the nuances because he's been so blind to all of it. he needs to know how he hurt her and it really is like a full wake up call. he can't let his own trauma consume him, allowing it to traumatize her in different ways. like when she mentions her getting to the point of just wanting him to want her body if he wouldn't want her because that's how people perceive him, that's what was hurting him, but he inadvertently made her feel that way. it breaks him to think that he did that to her, that he hurt his girl that way. then the idea that she would have let him cheat on her, she would've picked being with him over her own well-being, well she did, and he doesn't deserve that. he can't fathom how he could be with someone who loves him so blindly as to choose being with a ghost of him over not having him at all, when she deserves so much better. when he has been so callous with such a precious kind of love. or the fact that he even made it seem like he had interest in anyone but her.

there will be a fluffy, smutty requested sequel but readers issues afterwards will be lightly touched upon in it. but yes, she would have to spend so much time mending her relationship with herself afterwards. he's totally on hand and knee trying to make it up to her, to prove how much he loves and needs her, to give the attention she deserves. but she's still paranoid about cheating, insecure, scared, even if she tries to mask it. but he knows. he could, and does, spend hours praising her, telling her how pretty she is, how she's the only one, how sorry he is, how much he adores her, but it doesn't stop the nagging voice in the back of her head. she tries to hide it but she's clingier and he's okay with that, she needs him more.

but yes there's lots of long term effects the incident has on there relationship. and they have to try and navigate that together.

thank you pookie, I love your thoughts sm 💋💋💋💋💋💋