hiiiii!!!! i was wondering if u could share some of the most common to least common bpd symptoms?….and maybe ones u struggle with??? <:3

ive been thinking i have bpd for awhile,, (since i was 15,i’m almost 18 now) BUT i dont wanna self diagnose bc i don’t wanna offend anyone……is that offensive? to self diagnose? idek <:p

there isnt rlly least 2 most common, bpd is a spectrum and has a wide range of experiences!!! but i will list the diagnostic criteria 4 u, and explain it in a way some1 first learning abt bpd can understand ^w^

u must experience at least 5 of the 9 symptoms from the criteria in order 2 be diagnosed!!!

1: frantic efforts 2 avoid real or imagined abandonment; this does not include suicidal or self mutilating behavior covered in criteria 5.

this means an intense fear of abandonment. if u have bpd, being abandoned by those u love is most likely ur biggest fear. ik its mine!!! xD this can look like a number of things. this can include an avoidant attachment style, pushing ppl away becuz u feel a need 2 abandon them first b4 it happens 2 u. u might do the opposite and cling rlly hard. u might resort 2 manipulation tactics n threats 2 try 2 get them 2 stay even if its not in their best interest (not every1 w bpd does this, and not every1 w bpd doing this is doing it on purpose. ive done this in the past b4 i reflected on my own behavior and realized it was wrong. we r not abusers by default and we dont have bad intentions.) u might beg them 2 stay, promise them things, try 2 change urself 4 them, yell at them 4 wanting 2 leave. its terrifying what the fear might do 2 u.

2: a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes of idealization and devaluation.

this ones pretty simple, consistently unstable relationships throughout ur life!!! but it might get a lil confusing at "extremes of idealization and devaluation", so ill try 2 explain that using a term from the bpd community, "splitting". splitting is when u switch from one extreme view of a person, object, character, pretty much anything, 2 the opposite. it USUALLY means going from loving some1 2 hating them, but it can mean the opposite (hating 2 loving), and it can apply 2 anything, not just a person. a good example of splitting is when ur fp (favorite person, another term from the bpd community) disagrees with u abt smth, or u see them hanging out with other ppl, u mightve viewed them as perfect b4 and now u feel an intense hatred and can only see them as a bad person. 2 other ppl, experiencing such a drastic change in perception over smth so small is seen as ridiculous, but rlly its entirely valid. its part of the disorder, its okay.

3: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self.

u dont rlly know who u r a lot of the time, u dont have a strong sense of identity, if any at all. u might change styles often, change the way u talk, the jokes u make, ur beliefs, ur interests, ur hobbies. u might find urself basing ur entire personality on those around u. a common experience is that when ur favorite person or favorite ppl leave u, u dont know who u r anymore, becuz ur entire sense of self was mirrored from them. its like being a chameleon, but ur constantly mirroring other ppl, and ur nevr rlly ur own person.

4: impulsivity in at least two areas that r potentially self damaging (the examples listed in the DSM-5 include spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating, but i will provide moar examples!!!); this does not include suicidal or self mutilating behavior covered in criteria 5.

this ones also pretty simple!!! but personally i find that i become moar impulsive while in a bad headspace, or while im having a bpd episode/suicidal outburst. moar impulsive actions may include property damage, physical fights, running away, cutting contact with ppl, getting in contact with ppl who u know r dangerous, etc. those r all i could think of off the top of my head and they may not be the best examples, srry!!! :(

5: recurrent suicidal behaviors, gestures, threats, or self mutilating behavior.

i would like 2 say that self harm doesnt just mean cutting!!! self harm includes burning, hitting, ripping out hair, picking at skin, stabbing, and many moar. personally ive always been a cutter and i started when i was 9 or 10, but i want every1 2 know that all self harm is valid and this is a safe space 2 discuss it. im not gonna make any1 feel ashamed of it <3 also!!! suicidal threats and gestures may come across as manipulative, but that is almost NEVR our intention. we may act out in suicidal ways becuz its the only thing that gets us any sort of attention or care that we desperately need. i dont give a shit abt "ew theyre threatening suicide 4 attention, lets ignore them" becuz attention is a basic human need, and some1 threatening suicide REGARDLESS of their intentions is always a concern. whether its a call 4 help or not, they need help. dont disregard their mental health becuz their suicidal ideation doesnt present in an "acceptable" manner. all suicidal ideation, IS suicidal ideation. whether its passive, 4 attention, active w a plan, its all valid and requires attention and care.

6: affective instability due 2 a marked reactivity of mood (eg, intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely moar than a few days)

intense mood swings!!! u can feel happy one moment, and then switch 2 being depressed or anxious, and then go back 2 "normal" 10 minutes later. sometimes it just happens 4 no reason!!! absolutely fucking sucks

7: chronic feelings of emptiness.

this one is hard 2 explain and can mean varying things 4 different ppl. 4 me, it means i will never be happy in the long term (maybe with medication, but.. rawdogging life? bad idea) nothing gives me any sort of long term joy and i dont feel like i have a purpose. its like theres a hole in my chest that will nevr be filled. nothing will make me complete.

8: inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (eg, frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights)

angy

(also not every1 w bpd gets in2 physical fights or r angry at other ppl often, some ppl r moar angry at themselves)

9: transient, stress related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

paranoia is a symptom of bpd!!! although its shortlived in nature, and as stated above, stress related. dissociative symptoms can also present in a variety of ways!!! u can present with a fractured sense of self which may actually lead 2 u developing headmates iirc, but with them usually appearing as other versions of urself. or u might just dissociate due 2 stress or ur brain wanting 2 remove traumatic memories, 4 me dissociating feels like the whole world is fuzzy and blurry and i cant form any thoughts or emotions. i have dissociative amnesia and experience memory loss when this happens, which sucks becuz i dissociate at least once everyday. my memories r incredibly spotty and unreliable, its liek my brain is made of swiss cheese!!!

personally, i experience all of the symptoms from the diagnostic criteria, and they all effect my life on a daily basis. but that isnt 2 say that u need all of them in order 2 have bpd, as i said b4, u only need at least 5!!! there r also different types of bpd (not medically, theyre labels created by the bpd community) look in2 it if u resonate with some of the symptoms but not all of them!!! a lot of ppl who suspect they have bpd but dont present in a stereotypical way often relate 2 the term "quiet bpd", i recommend looking in2 it!!!

self diagnosis is entirely valid, and most of the ppl who r offended by it r neurotypical or they dont have the disorders that ppl r self diagnosing with. it stems mostly from ableism towards autistic ppl, specifically autistic ppl who self diagnose becuz they know theyre autistic but dont have the resources/time 2 get a diagnosis from a professional. if u believe ur borderline, and u've done ur research, i believe u. self diagnosis is not actually offensive 2 those who have mental disorders, im pretty sure the bpd community is accepting of self diagnosis!!! and if u cant find a community of ppl who r accepting of ur self diagnosis, just know that i believe u and this is a safe space 4 self diagnosis and ppl w bpd :3

bpd is also incredibly hard 2 get diagnosed with. its one of the most stigmatized disorders and often mental health professionals have a bias against it. sometimes, professional diagnosis is not an option 4 us. i knew i had bpd 4 years b4 i was able 2 get diagnosed. good luck!!!!

me, in fear: im gonna try to draw Asher I’m gonna try to draw Asher I’m gonna try to draw Asher-

Until We Found You | Part III

Part III is now up and running! P.S. there are two playlists I listen to while writing these, they don’t necessarily go with reading them but you totally could listen to them as you read! Let me know if you would like the playlists. As usual, heed the tags. 

Modern Day College Scream AU, Obsessed AFAB!Reader, Eventual Poly!Ghostface x reader,NSFW, All characters 18+, P in V, Fingering, Overall smut 

Part I Part II Part IV Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX

The next few days were pretty dull, you spent a few days over at Sidney’s, the first night it was just you two but the third day Tatum, Billy, and Stu all spent the night- it was a group decision to leave Randy out because he would just go on and on about who was the killer and why they were targeting the victims. Ghostface was pretty quiet too, with no killings or attempts since you, you were starting to wonder if you were meant to be the last victim, you also wondered if you had pissed them off by not going home. Luckily today you were returning home, back to see your parents and Irena and your brand new door- no shining scene included this time.

“Need a ride? Me and Stu are going to the movie store,” Billy asked, making you turn to him after you and Sidney had pulled away from a hug. “Sure, my parents haven’t left my aunts yet so I would appreciate it,” you said before turning to Sidney again. “Thanks for letting me crash at yours, I’ll call if I have anything weird going on again,” you promised her, waving bye as you left with the boys.

“You should call us if that creep comes back, me and Billy can put him in his place,” Stu said, giving his signature laugh and smile, making you laugh. “That’s a great idea, Billy can scare him away with his crazy eyes and you can bore him to death by telling him all about horror movies,” you joked, earning annoyed glares from both boys, making you laugh again. “I’ll call if I see them again, okay? Don’t worry about me, I can handle myself,” you promised the boys as you climbed into the back seat, throwing your bag in next to you.

The day passed by smoothly, the boys had taken you to the movie rental store and bought you some candy along with a movie, which Stu insisted you watch and even rented for you. Prom Night, another fucking Jamie movie. You had popped it into your laptop that night once you were home. Irena sat on your lap as you caught up on some homework due the next day, occasionally you glanced at your laptop to watch the movie, not noticing when Irena had moved from your lap and moved to your vanity. She sat down, her tail twitching angrily, your attention finally moved to her when you heard a little growl escape her.

When you got up to see what had angered her you saw the window slide open, the same masked killer from the other day climbing in through your window. You paused, looking at them with wide eyes, wondering if the flirting over the phone had all been a plan to get you off guard, to either kill you or kidnap you so they could set you up for the murders of Casey and Steve. Your nerves didn’t calm down when they motioned you closer after closing the window, still, you walked over slowly to them. Their hand reached up to your face, cupping it gently before gripping it more firmly, holding the knife in their other hand up to your cheek. Your breath hitched, feeling the cool touch of the steel against you, but they made no movements to harm you in any way, not really at least.

The knife ghosted over your skin, not enough to cut but enough for you to feel scared and strangely turned on at the same time. Your eyes studied the mask in front of you, you couldn’t make out their eyes behind the mesh, but you could feel their eyes piercing into yours. They removed their hands from you, pushing you towards the bed, you complied but paused when you sat down on it. “My parents are home…can-can you lock the door at least,” you asked, they tilted their head towards the door and you swore you heard them chuckle as they most likely recalled how they broke the last one. They walked over to the door, locking it before making their way to you. Your legs clenched together, your ever-growing nervousness and excitement now showing to them as you wondered what they were going to do.

They looked over you for a moment before holding the knife right up to your sternum, pressing the knife onto your clothes as they began to drag it down, leaving a trail of torn clothes in their wake. “I kinda liked those…” you murmured, if they hadn’t had the mask on you may have seen the shit-eating grin they had on their lips as they pressed the knife harder against your skin. Your cheeks heated up, taking the hint to shut up as you let them continue. You had already changed into pajamas earlier in the night, your Carrie shirt now tattered and torn, exposing your top half to them. Once they reached your groin, they paused and moved the knife away, pocketing it before pushing you back onto the bed so you were laying down.

They hovered over you, tracing your face again, the rough texture of their glove trailing down your body before their fingers hooked under the waistband of your pj pants, tugging them off slowly. Your skin grew goosebumps all over, the cold air in your room felt like mercy against your warm skin, which was only growing hotter by the second. A small whimper left you as you felt them place their hand over your panties, you hadn’t even noticed until that moment but your arousal had shown even through the fabric, feeling a little embarrassed that you were so needy without much effort.

Your hand flung up to your mouth as you felt them reach into your underwear, you could feel how cold their fingers were even through the gloves as they ghosted over your clit. You bit down on your hand as they pressed on your clit, circling around it as you closed your eyes and tilted your head back. The texture of the glove bothered you a little, which they must have noticed as you bucked against their fingers. A whine left your lips as their hand pulled away, opening your eyes to see them reaching into their pocket and pulling out some torn piece of fabric. They spread it out in their hands, showcasing it to you, a blindfold. Another blush rose to your cheeks as you tilted your head up for them to put it on, a silent understanding between you two that they wanted you to stay clueless about who they were. They reached around your head and tied the fabric over your eyes, your heart began to beat faster realizing that you were completely at their mercy now.

They reached back into their pocket, bringing the knife out and making a stabbing motion at you, bringing the knife inches from your forehead. When you didn’t flinch, they felt comfortable knowing you couldn’t see behind the blindfold and began to undress. You heard them shuffling in the outfit, hearing a thud on the floor, wondering if that was the knife or their mask. You received your answer when you felt the knife against your cheek again, you felt yourself grow wetter, partially because of the knife, partially because ghostface was standing right in front of you unmasked and you couldn’t see them. Your hand tried to move to touch them but before you had the chance they pinned you down by your wrist. You whined but they only gripped you tighter, they dropped the knife and instead grabbed your torn t-shirt and tied your wrist together with it.

You didn’t have to wait much longer before their mouth was latched onto your neck and their fingers were tracing over your core. Their fingertips teased you, running over your folds as they carefully placed a hickey on your neck. You could feel a grin on their lips as they bit and licked at your skin, feeling your pulse under their tongue. You did your best to keep your voice down, your heavy breaths bounced off of your bedroom walls as they pushed two fingers into you. A louder whine sounded from you, to which they comforted you by planting a kiss against your lips. You didn’t need to see them to feel the passion in the kiss, they pushed against you with such need, teeth clanking together and making your bones shake as their thumb moved to your clit.

Your thighs opened a little wider to allow them more access, relishing in the pleasure their hands brought you. The familiar tension in your stomach was slowly beginning to build, sweat began to form on your skin from feeling their hot breath against you. You felt their eyes on you, it only made you more turned on knowing they were watching every little reaction you had to their movements. Another finger entered you, hitting a spot inside that made you toss your head back and thank any supernatural being or god there was that they were quick enough to swallow the moan you let out in a kiss. They took the opportunity to snake their tongue into your mouth, making you melt even further as their pace quickened.

Your chest began to rise and fall quickly as that knot in your stomach threatened to break. You moved slightly, your hips bucking and moving against their fingers as you let the pleasure take you over. Before you could tip over the edge they pulled away, which made you whine and squirm in protest. “Not fucking fair,” you breathed out, to which you were met with the cold blade of their knife again pressing against your neck. You pouted, realizing ghostface probably didn’t like your bratty attitude too much but it was all fixed when they kissed you again. Your legs slowly fell open again, allowing them to situate themself in between them. Their hand let go of the knife again and instead took the opportunity to roam over your body, little whines coming from you when they ran over- and teased- all the spots you reacted to.

Finally, they trailed their way back to your core, watching as your face scrunched up with pleasure as they circled your clit again. “Please…” you whined to them, their other hand gripping your thigh as a warning, “I want you in me already, please.” You begged, their grip growing even tighter, likely to leave a bruise before they finally let up. You barely took a breath before you felt them against you, your body tensed slightly but soon calmed down as you felt their lips on yours again. They were more gentle this time, but you could feel the tension they held by holding themselves back. “It’s okay., you can ruin me. Please ruin me,” you begged again, whimpering when their hand gripped your neck, squeezing the sides as they quickly entered you.

Ghostface was smart enough to put their mouth on yours again to cover up your moan, melting in their hold as they began to set up a steady pace. You wondered if they were taking it slow to let you adjust or to tease you, but they quickly had your attention again when their free hand returned to your core. Your stomach tightened once again, your head spinning with all the pleasure they were giving you. When their thrusts began to quicken you couldn’t help but arch your back, your ankles hooking around them and trapping them in between your legs, but with the way they thrusted even harder into you, you don’t think they minded it one bit.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were close to coming undone, both of your hips stuttered and bucked, their hand that played with your clit quickened a little as well, paying attention to the spots that had you shaking. “Fuck, gonna-“ you whined again, your head tilting back as they hit your sweet spot, “gonna cum,” you whimpered out between moans, trying to keep quiet. They continued the torture they were inflicting on you, your black vision turning white as you finally reached your climax. Your thighs shook around them, pulsing around them before they came.

You felt their muscles unclench, glad that you finally came to the realization that they had worn protection, mentally cursing yourself for not even checking before. They pulled out slowly, gently touching your face as you whimpered from the loss. You adjusted yourself on the bed as they finally peeled away from you, hearing the shuffling of clothes again as they got dressed.

After a moment you felt a dip in the bed, feeling them untie you but held down your wrists as they leaned in for one last kiss. You smiled into it, giggling as they pulled away. “Come again tomorrow, with a new Carrie shirt preferably,” you asked playfully, feeling their lips curl up into a smile before they pulled away. You heard the thumps of plastic before your blindfold was taken off, your eyes meeting the masked killer after adjusting to the light.

“Was that smile a yes,” you asked, smiling when they nodded. “You can take the torn one as a momento, and so you know what size to get,” you offered, holding out the piece of clothing to them. They grabbed it, heading back to the window as you stayed on the bed and watched them. They climbed out of your room while you finally stood up and watched them take off. You sighed, running your hands over the little hickeys and bruises they left on you before heading to your bathroom to get cleaned up.

There was the ringing of a phone, only sounding for a few seconds before the other line picked up. “Hey Stu, let's take the girls shopping tomorrow, we owe someone a new shirt. Also need to get you all fancied up too, you have a date tomorrow night,” Billy said, Stu laughing before beginning to question him on the details.

aita for “not being able to keep issues in servers separate”

🌻🌷🌹🥀 (to find later)

this all happened a couple months ago now in mid november-ish so i’m sending this late, but i didn’t want to while the situation was ongoing. for the record me and everyone affected have collectively since left both servers mentioned. so. wee

i (23mtf) do a long of long form roleplay, specifically in public oc-based discord servers. these are servers where people will create a setting and then people can join and insert their ocs into the world, and they’re tons of fun! this is a hobby ive had for years now. it’s really important to me as it’s my main creative outlet and i know a good number of people in the community. i’ll often join servers and recognize at least a handful of people there already

around may last year, i joined a new server and things were great, for a while, but then not long after i joined someone new did, i’ll call her X (34nb) for this. when she first joined the interactions we had were fine, but - and i’m still really not sure why this is, i’m not trying to absolve myself if i did do something but i have no idea what i did to warrant this shift even to this day - a few weeks later she just got… extremely passive aggressive and contrary with me, over silly things. most of it was “in character” but it really stuck out to me. i’d have a character say something marginally unconventional and she’d always, without fail, have one of her characters come in to scold them, even if her characters hadn’t been part of the conversation prior. her characters constantly talked down to or insulted mine. she was always talking ooc about how strange her characters found mine. when i tried to get involved in overarching plots, she would often push me out of them, or insist that my characters were only getting in the way, or would insert her characters to do things i’d stated to the group i wanted mine to do, so i didn’t end up able to do anything. it seemed targeted to me because the main character she was doing this with was known to be very kind to everyone else, but for some reason never had anything nice to say about mine. i know none of this is outright bullying but it wore on me greatly. i tried to confront her on this multiple times to tell her it was making me uncomfortable and to please knock it off, and i tried to get the server mods involved when that failed, but the behavior never really stopped and eventually i was content to just… not interact with her

but then a while later i noticed her treating someone else the same way. i reached out to him about it, and he told me that she had done basically everything she’d done to me to him, and he wasn’t the only one. after snooping around a little more i realized that a lot of people in the server had had this problem with her, totaling 7 of us. 7 of us in the group at the time. some people had dropped characters or outright left the group because of her, so 7 isn’t even everyone because it doesn’t include people she’d already driven out that i couldn’t contact. for reference, this server only had roughly 30 people. even if the number of total members was bigger, 7+ still feels like a lot

i tried to take this to the mods of the server again, but (and this is where i’m unsure if i misstepped) i thought it would be right to bring it up to the mods of a separate, larger server that all of us were in together as well. this server had closed to 50-60 members. in my head, if this person has harassed over half a dozen people like this it’d be silly to assume its only a problem in one group, and even if it wasn’t a problem in this larger server it would be better to make them aware of it so they could keep an eye out

the mods in both servers weren’t happy with me, through. even when all 7 people tried to give testimony, both teams claimed there wasn’t enough evidence to support harassment and that they’d talk to her about it, but this didn’t warrant any further action. keep in mind again i’d already had to go to the mods about this same person before, so they weren’t unaware that this happened to me and they had tried talking to her already. then they told me that it was inappropriate of me to bring this up in a server that wasn’t necessarily involved, and that the 7 of us were ganging up against her and bullying her. and i, especially, had been unfairly targeting her

this confused me greatly! i will admit, it’s likely i’ve been snippier with X than i intended. thats on me, i struggle with tone and i have trouble masking my frustration, but i have never once gone out of my way to make her feel bad. she has a generalized anxiety disorder or some such, and before i realized how many people had this issue with her i had been avoiding her for months. i have no idea what i could have said to her that was taken as bullying, because i haven’t been talking to her, period. when i see her in channels i just mute the channel until it’s passed, ive seriously done everything i could to minimize contact because i figured it was a personal issue. i asked both the mods and her directly, in dms, for examples or screenshots of what i said or did so i could adjust my behavior, and i never got shown any. i still as of typing this don’t know what i did to warrant that being said

the mods said they would give her a warning, but they gave me a warning as well, that if i continued like this i would be booted from both servers. they insisted to me again that i’d been clearly bullying her (did not provide examples) and i never should have brought it up to the other server and gotten them involved. i admit i think they might be right on that last point, but i am iffy. i had (honestly still have) justifiable reason to think X is an unsafe person to be around. she pushes people out of the community and cries and gets meek if she’s ever confronted on it in a way that’s distinctly guilt trippy and makes it hard to communicate. i have previously tried to resolve my issues with her in private and she was never receptive nor did she ever accept accountability, or change her actions. if her target calls her out she just starts doing it to someone else. it’s not like her being in a different server suddenly means she’s a different person. if someone like that is in your server, even if you don’t have “proof” that it’s happened in your group, wouldn’t you want to know about it? they kept insisting it had nothing to do with them and it was wrong of me to get them involved. i kind of think this is a cowardly policy to have, that you won’t act on or acknowledge harassment from your members unless it happens right in front of you and is blindingly obvious, but i don’t know

to be clear, i think X is an asshole, so that’s not what i’m asking about. anxiety disorder or not, she is frankly too old and has done this too many times for me to believe it’s unintentional. even if it is unintentional, she’s still hurting people and makes no effort to change. but i’m wondering if i’m an asshole for bringing it into another server. should i have just kept it in the first group?

What are these acronyms?

Iv got a ton of headcannon RD thoughts in my head right now so under a cut (since I can be long winded lol) here I’m gonna talk a lot about them. Mostly pertaining to all of the characters

So to start off

Intern (and my own thoughts on them):

My own version of the intern would probably be pretty static- very simple humanoid looking robot, uses wheels to be pushed or roll around so going up elevators is how they get up and down. Still controlled by a remote intern and due to being pretty prototyped they can’t do much other then what the robot it’s built for (pushing buttons!) They do have a simple display that shows a heart rate on their arm and a face display for basic emotions.

Samurai and Insomniac

These guys are weird so their backgrounds get to be just as weird. Samurai and Insomniac both came to Middlesea from Japan (Samurai) and Korea (Insomniac) to compete in a worldwide tournament of katana sparring. Insomniac ended up losing to Samurai after getting no sleep the night before and admittedly got a bit peeved about it. They had a run in when Samurai was celebrating at a nightclub and had a rematch on the dance floor. One drunken fight later they ended up at the hospital and have to be there awhile to sort out the paperwork. They’re on much better terms now and respect each other’s skills.

Bonus stuff: Samurai is bad at speaking English but is very good at writing it, Insomniac is vice versa this. Samurai due to the struggle to show emotions through words usually emotes things physically and doesn’t mind stuff happening as long as he gets to be included. Insomniac has insomnia because of the time difference and not being able to adjust

Logan and Hailey

I feel they’re probably about 15? Old enough to be highschoolers but still pretty childish at times. They’re also both in dance! (I mean com’on two kids being able to just break into slow dance together is pretty impressive) Hailey loves to talk about said fact but Logan is pretty self conscious about being one of the few boys in it. Big baseball fans but didn’t ever play it before lucky as they were a bit scared of being demolished. Met through the before mentioned dance class and hit it off very quickly. Other then that, they’re pretty typical, optimistic and overly energetic teens.

Cole

He’s not originally from Middlesea but instead a few towns over. Got kicked from home as a final choice by his parents when he kept avoiding to get a job and hyper focused on music making. They gave him 1500$ on the way out and still wanted the best for him but in his emotions, cut them off before jumping all the way to Middlesea by train. Shortly after arriving, Cole had his first very bad SVT attack from stress and trying to chug energy shots to stay awake after a very long train ride and got taken to the hospital. Now can’t decide if he wants to get out of the hospital already for music inspiration and to be free or try to stay longer for the sake of having a place to stay and see the new friends he’s made.

Nicole

Gave up on music only a year after highschool when her less well off family couldn’t support her musical ambitions and chose to leave it behind for the sake of a career. Despite not having the title, basically acts as the cafe manager after most her team got laid off. It’s how she can get away with locking up early sometimes or just chilling in the cafe after hours. Dyes her nearly black hair green constantly and learned how to do it herself.

Mr and Mrs Stevenson

Mrs Stevenson is the owner of a bird sanctuary while Mr Stevenson has been retired for awhile due to previous injuries. He always called Mrs in the mornings as she had to always leave early in the morning to take care of her birds. The ones with bow ties are all rescues who were taken in since they were babies and lived at their house. Taught them all how to sing with her and Mr.

Miner

Small town mfer, always took care of his injuries at home and hasn’t really ever been to a hospital till now. Around 35 yrs old and works as a sulfur miner for a team of geologists. Has been mining since 20~ but that time has seriously been taking affect on his body now. Likely won’t be returning to his work after the hospital when he finds out the ramifications of his work. Everyone’s friend, even friendly and kind to Edega.

.. and that’s kinda all Iv got at the moment other then Lucky being thrown off from a real friend group after being in a fake one for so long. I don’t have a lot HCs for the doctors yet other then Ian sorre….

If you made it this far have some cocole doodles for your sake

okay so. warning, this is Long (for me anyway) and kind of unfinished? unpolished? its 1am and i am having Thoughts.

Little analysis of qTubbo and Morning Crew because ive been seeing a lotta opinions and I wish to add My Own into the Melting Pot.(I may get off track, im sorry, im incoherent at all times, thats why my posts are so short.)(also all characters just in case)

So first of all, Im putting it out there. Fit and Pac still care about Tubbo. From an outside view, from the audience, we can clearly see that. Unfortunately for us, Tubbo is infact not acting with the same knowledge in mind.

As far as Tubbo is aware they are going to move on without him. They have eachother now they dont need him anymore

With him and Fits relationship We can see that the jokes are banter and just silly, even if ill timed, but how was fit supposed to know that. We see this moment kinda throw tubbo back into 'I have to be worth something, because why would anyone Actually want to team with me if i cant give them something, if I cant make up for being Me '. He starts being more reckless about wanting create back, not really caring to try get out of the cage, even though he probably could of glitch blocked up there at the start.

Ive also seen people mention the fact that Fit 'told him he was family'. Now please genuinely correct me if im wrong. Fit only told Sunny she was family("Youre family"). Sure, he was Right There, but we know that tubbo sees Sunny as more important than him, its totally plausible that Tubbo thought that that wouldn't include him. Its never specified that that was directed at more than just Sunny (out loud), Tubbo also didn't know what sunny wrote (as far as im aware).

I had a whole paragraph on Pac too but it got too messy to salvage, maybe another day.

Tubbo has always been slightly weird about his place in Morning Crew, especially since it started "becoming an isocoles triangle". Im not sure if im more on the side of hes trying to push them away before they get the chance to to save himself the heartache, or if he's trying to show them how much they need him like a 'look at how weird it is when im not there At All. Look at my Cool Town with Foolish and Not you. Please need me still'.

Im Most on the side of him distancing himself, not to save himself the pain(maybe still slightly), not to try get them to come Get Him Back, but to almost hint at them that they Can move away from him. Trying to show them that he does have Other People they dont Need to be around him if they dont want to. The thing about this that isnt working is that Fit and Pac Do still want to be around him.

TLDR: Fit and Pac still care, but no matter how obvious, q!tubbo is mentally ill and has convinced himself that since they got together he is becoming Less and Less important, only catastrophising further at each thing that could be taken as cold even when theyre not.

i appreciate you keeping the eulcien flame alive, because ive been doubting since sliver flames and even more now with flame and shadow. silver flames was horrible to lulu, and cc just doubled down on the cauldron being wrong. i know mates come from the mother, but shes pushing the cauldron being wrong for some reason and its hard not to doubt. shadow boy being there to hear it felt big. feeling really unconfident that she will let elucien be. ill always ship them and think their the better pair but i don't think what i want to happen and whats going to happen are the same thing anymore.

One thing SJM likes to do is put her MMC through the ringer before they get their HEA so to me, Lucien being knocked down (again and again and again) suggests that she's gearing up for him to have a massive arc.

I imagine SHE is hating herself for treating Lucien horribly but that's how an author tells a great story. They don't protect their characters from harm, they let them suffer so that they earn that HEA.

Lucien has been a major player in this series since book 1 and you don't keep a character like that around to the extent she has if you've written him off. You don't get bored with someone you've set up to become a future HL, someone with connections to multiple courts and lands, someone with a mating bond with an Archeron sister.

No, he wasn't heavily featured in SF but that makes sense when you think of whose book it was. Lucien is not friends with Cassian. He's definitely not friends with Nesta who has hated him for multiple books (finally starting to come around on Solstice). With Feyre's POV finished, there's no real way to include Lucien in what was Nesta's healing arc but she still managed to drop some pretty big clues for us (his being permanently stationed in Spring, his possible connection to the Trove through Helion, his showing the dominance of a HL, his setting his sights on Koschei). There's a creator on TikTok, Doyle, and he made a comment about Lucien showing up for one of Nesta's training scenes, how it felt so randomly thrown in there (and he loves Lucien).

That's exactly it though, Lucien has no place in a Nessian book but Sarah still found a way to pepper him throughout because he is relevant, he's not going anywhere.

If anything HOFAS proved the Cauldron is not responsible for bonds, that they are not fabricated by people like the Princes of Hel, that those are made by a higher force. The Cauldron being corrupt does not work when it comes to these characters because Nesta and Elain were made by the Cauldron. Anyone claiming the cauldron creates corrupted bonds because it's tainted is literally saying "Nesta and Elain are tainted". You don't get to have one without the other.

As for Elucien, SJM made sure to lay crumbs for why Tamlin was not going to be right for Feyre. Where most of us once believed in their romance we eventually saw the red flags during a reread. However she has not done that with Lucien when it comes to Elain. If the author was gearing us up for E/riel, she would have started to show us why Lucien is not right for Elain and why Az is but instead we have Lucien continuing to be nothing but a respectful male to Elain, getting to know her father before his death, giving her credit for killing the king, staying loyal to her, leaving Graysen unharmed. In comparison we have Az giving Elain no credit, calling her the third, saying he hasn't thought of a future with her beyond his sexual fantasies, not caring whether Lucien or Graysen is killed, etc.

SJM is good at what she does and if she wanted those red flags to be waving for Elucien, we'd be spotting them. ❤️

relationship hcs ; james

requested by ; anonymous (21/05/23)

fandom(s) ; pokémon

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; james

outline ; “OH MY GOD IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE WILLING TO WRITE FOR TEAM ROCKET IM SO EXCITED

ok ok so uh may I request general dating hcs for both jessie and james please ? (maybe someone who has a good living since both are homeless 🥹) THANK YOU !!”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

despite his work as a member of team rocket, james is an incredibly sweet and attentive partner — the type who has a keen memory for everything you love and who will do anything he can to boost your confidence and make you smile whenever you’re together (he’s your #1 cheerleader even if he isn’t the most confident in himself most of the time — but he’s working on improving that with your help)

he doesn’t talk about his family, or his past in general, all that often but he when he does he always has something positive to say about his grandparents (his parents and ex fiancée less so, he loves his parents but they aren’t on the best terms at the moment and jessiebelle is, well, jessiebelle and enough is said about that) — and when you finally met ‘nanny’ and ‘pop pop’, they absolutely adored you (both as your own person and because of how happy you make their sweet little grandson)

if you wear makeup then he’s more than happy to help you put it on or perfect a look — he has a keen eye and a steady hand that comes in handy if you struggle with symmetry — and on a similar note he’s also happy to let you put makeup on him or to do his makeup alongside yours (he’s far from opposed to dressing up, cross-dressing, or wearing costumes with you, after all)

james loves using terms of endearment with you, to the extent that you’ll rarely even hear him say your first name unless it’s a necessary formality (like a first introduction or for a dinner booking), and they range from cutesy to traditional depending on his mood — for example, when he’s feeling dejected and clingy after being scolded by giovanni then he’ll curl up on your lap and call you ‘hun’ and ‘sweetie’ as he vents his woes to you, but when he’s in a more flirty mood then he might dip you in his arms and call you ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’ (context matters more than anything here, but he has been known to use just about any pet name in any situation)

he’s a complete gentleman and will go the full nine yards to woo you even after you’ve been officially together for what feels like forever — partially down to his upbringing and the expectations pushed upon him by it, and partially because he’s just that sweet — which includes him doing things like: bending down and kissing the back of your hands/each of your knuckles, opening car doors for you and helping you step out, holding doors open for you in whatever building you’re in, buying you flowers whenever he can scrape together the funds to do so (he may have been born wealthy but nowadays, not so much), offering you his coat whenever you mention being cold, and other things along those lines

jessie has caught him staring at you, or staring into nothingness whilst clearly thinking about you, more times than she’d ever care to count and this eternal puppy-love state has caused the trio to mess up on missions because james is just too distracted to stick to the plan — it would be adorable in any other situation but it usually frustrates her to the point of anger because that mistake was so avoidable, why can’t you just be normal about them for ten minutes?

when it comes to sleeping, james isn’t too bothered about what position you drift off in as long as the two of you are cuddling — he can fall asleep wherever he is, and being in a proper bed for the first time in weeks helps, but he sleeps most peacefully when he can hear your breathing and can feel your weight and body heat right up against him when he’s with you

whenever his team fails a mission, or he’s scolded by someone, you’re the first person he gets in contact with — either finding a phone to call you or stumbling sadly through your door and collapsing in your arms and just… staying like that for a while as he briefly lets himself forget what had left him feeling so low (you’re his rock, really, and he’d do the same for you if you needed it, but for now all he needs is to hear your voice and know that you still love and accept him as he is — despite all of his mistakes and failures)

OKAY SO i have not read the full succ scripts back to front, ive been looking at some posted on twitter mostly around tom and greg bc. i like them. some stuff, im glad they didn't include, others, i am sad we missed.

I actually really liked the scene with Disgusting Brothers, LLC. Hilarious that Greg cannot even reference licking cunt or pussy. gayass.

i think in some ways it may be redundant, because we already know Greg is trying to cheer tom up, checking in on his eating and sleeping and such but, at the same time,

It really shows that Greg is trying to continue this dynamic that was implied to have been established between seasons that we barely got to see, mostly in s1e1, while Tom is pulling away due to Stress and not giving Greg the attention Greg has clearly come to expect from him?

Greg even says "I did this for you". There is no way you can convince me he is sleeping around for the sake of it, or because he likes it, what he likes about it is getting to hang out with Tom and being Tom's friend and having a special nickname with Tom. even if it's platonic, his best guy friend is more important to him than the women he's apparently sleeping with (again. he can't even say 'licking cunt' like sir you are an adult, you don't have to act like girls have cooties)

The one part i don't like, however... why they would make it explicit only now that Greg is actually in contact with his dad, when his only mentions before were used as a weapon against Greg because he's Gay and presumably ran off

To me, it throws so much about Greg into question and makes me feel crazy. Were were not supposed to read Greg as someone abandoned by his gay father and having issues stemming from that?

This has always been an issue, for me, with how succession treats it's side characters. Even if we don't SEE the backstory, I vastly prefer it when the storytellers HAVE one that is guiding the character's actions, and for this line to have been written, it makes me feel like Greg doesn't, or that I have wildly misunderstood the subtext/hints up until now.

Because, if Greg were actually in contact with his absent gay father, why would he not have hit him up for support earlier? And "Family whatsapp" what??? with his cousins? or with his mom and dad!?! i was under the assumption Marianne didn't talk to her presumably ex-husband. I thought we were meant to think that Greg's Dad, by virtue of being gay, was probably pushed out of the Roy family because he would besmirch their fox-news conservative rep, or that he left to slut it up once he was found out and couldn't hack it being with a Roy.

It's a small moment but, to me, it's just..... wild how it goes against everything I thought I knew about Greg.

The rest of the scene I did like, though. Licking Lots of You Know What, hehe.

Propaganda why Alex Eagleston is insufferable:

literally causes the end of the world by being The Absolute Worst and has done so multiple times including his alternate selves. he technically has three (and a half) love interests (cause theyre the only characters he can/attempt to kiss or express any attraction to) and he treats them all poorly first three vella sammy and essentia 2000 are cause hes a misogynist but they all get different flavors of it sammy gets fridged for the plot of the game and is basically never relevant again outside of a secret(?) ending. shes also based off of a real life dead person for no fucking reason. vella is subjected to weird speculation about her age in her introduction scene with alex saying something along the lines of she cant be older than him cause shes too pretty (alex is like 24 and vella 27 from what i recall its been a few years since ive thought about yiik) and has a weird internal monologue about his feminist ex girlfriend prompted by vella just existing. theres a weird scene when alex asks her if shes korean n says she looks vaguely ethnic making her uncomfortable. One Of His Alternate Selves Literally Caused Her To Leave Her Home Dimension Cause Of How Poorly He Treated Her and the context behind that is that to leave the world/timeline/dimension/whatever you're originally from you basically have to be super suicidal and he pushed her to that point by ghosting her for a while and next time vella saw him he was hooking up with a girl noticably younger than her (<- remember this) and immediately after being told this he can attempt to kiss her which has no actual repercussions. essentia 2000 is like technically supposed to be evil i guess but her goal is supposed to be killing alex so i cant fault her on that. the in game day after they first meet alex has like a monologue about how special and attractive she is ""she was like water filling all my cracks"" or some shit. all three girls are alternates of eachother and are on a sliding scale of how objectified they are by alex with who got it the worst depending on which aspect you're focusing on. other sort of love interest is rory (diversity loss!) who alex can attempt to kiss after he confides in him about something when rory is like 18-19 (hes meant to be about the same age as michael whos recently graduated high school) and depending on how alex treats him can literally kill himself and alex's reaction to learning this is to only focus on how terrible he feels before moving on n rory's death never being mentioned again. the whole point of the game is that alex is a piece of shit who cant even buy groceries for his mom without throwing a hissy fit about it but it undermines itself constantly by having characters forgive or just stop being mad at alex on a dime after hes been exceedingly shitty towards them in various ways and any sort of charm or endearing traits he had quickly wearing off due to him never shutting the fuck up. near the end of the game all the other party members are killed off in quick succession leaving alex by himself and all he can do is sulk in self pity before going on a space adventure or whatever to stop an alternate him thats linked to an alternate essentia and enlisting the player as a different alternate him to help fight various superficial flaws of himself (which arent even like the actual things that make him insufferable n a bad person) n then finish the job for him. i need to punt him into the sun

He constantly goes on annoying monologues about things that nobody cares about. In game he is meant to be kind of an asshole, but they never give him the necessary character development to make him feel like a proper flawed protagonist, yet the narrative makes him out to be a character who is ""deep down a good guy"". Also he doesn't seem to care about any of his friends/party members.

"""YIIK"" is a poorly written, irony-poisoned RPG using a real life actual unsolved murder as the basis for an inciting event, altered so that what happened to the victim was some ~scary supernatural stuff~ and also Alex was there being vaguely misogynistic the whole time and monologuing to no-one in a way no real human person thinks uncritically.

The game intends to paint Alex as a bad person, but this is implemented in such a snide and uninteresting manner which has nothing to actually say about him being this way, nor is it at all fun or entertaining to experience.

He has no idea what's going on, blindly following the plot with the vague motivation of being suddenly stricken with affection for a girl he basically called a freak as soon as he met her five minutes ago. He is self-absorbed, lazy and overconfident, constantly bemoaning and ignoring the needs and feelings of others. He is the only character given enough breathing space to have something to him, and yet manages to not even feel any sort of dimensional.

Also his shirt is an ad for the dev's last game.

An incel who always screams about everything and yet is overly pretentious about everything.

Propaganda why Scott Pilgrim is insufferable:

He is not a good person. He doesn’t take other people’s feelings into consideration. He mooches off his one real friend. He’s dating a teenager as a grown ass man. Every girlfriend he’s ever had hates him for good reasons

Stupid idiot

dated a 17 yr old

kind of a cop-out answer since he's like deliberately made to be an annoying person but

i dont know if you partake in any of the doctor who comics at all - i certainly dont. i like keeping my sanity safe (its a mess of strange stories and paradoxes from what ive been able to tell. as are most comic series). but recently there was one that elaborated a bit on rose and the metacrisis’s life post journeys end, and its one of the few pieces of media we have for them. i didnt care enough to read the whole thing, the only interesting part to me was apparently they had a little girl named mia, and ive been thinking abt that dynamic nonstop since. cant decide how realistic it is for them, but on the otherside augh its so sweet. anyway, i just wanted to ask how you feel about rose and the metacrisis in general, and whatever that entails. curious abt ur thoughts on them!

- armin anon/lesbian anon/whatever you feel like calling me lol

OMGG my anon (of many names lol)! OK first off, I drafted some of this way back but forgot to add on and post, so in the words of our beloved Doctor,

🌹 But onto the DW comics and Meta-Crisis/Rose!!

I only recently started reading the comics, starting with the ones about Gabby Gonzalez by Nick Abadzis, and I have to admit:

They make me yearn pretty fucking hard to run away and travel with the Doctor. There's some killer art by Elena Casagrande that feels so much like the Doctor we know and love (that kindness, that earnest love.... god!! my heart and soul!!).

But I warn ye (any readers of this post), DO NOT TOUCH Volume 2 by Robbie Morrison. He takes Ten blatantly out of character, making him out to be an arrogant bastard who belittles his companion and is flippant in the face of suffering. (Morrison watched too much Eleven, methinks 🙈)

I haven't read the Rose/Meta-Crisis comic yet (part of the Empire of the Wolf series), but I did see the important panel from that series, showing Rose's daughter Mia:

I think the Meta-Crisis settling down to have a family with Rose is pretty in-character and very much what the Tenth Doctor would have wanted, as much as it hurt him.

Because Ten fundamentally felt unworthy of Rose.

💔 The Doctor's Trauma

Rose was strong and compassionate and amazing, and Ten had done so much, seen so much, experienced so much tragedy and guilt. He's a man wrecked by PTSD, depression, shame, and self-blame. He felt like it wasn't fair to her that she'd sacrifice her life to someone who would go on living and changing and becoming a different person, while she grew old and died in a world without a home and away from everyone she knew.

He didn't want her to become like him, homeless and without the love of friends and family, because to be him is to be alone. And he didn't want that for her. Because he wanted her to be happy, not just momentarily, but for the rest of her life.

Ten is a man who loathes taking life, and it weighs on him every time someone sacrifices who they are because they love him.

It's no surprise Ten's entire decision about the Meta-Crisis took place after Davros massively guilt-tripped him into thinking it was his fault that all those people died. (It wasn't.) But Davros played on Ten's depression and trauma, manipulating Ten into thinking he had done unforgivable things to the people he loved. (when in fact those people died because they were inspired to be selfless like him, or were killed someplace beyond the Doctor's reach)

I've actually been doing a lot of research on Ten's trauma (including invaluable insight from Judith Lewis Herman's famous book Trauma and Recovery). This journal article about Major Depressive Disorder speaks so deeply to Ten's character, especially post-Time War and post-Davros:

"Guilt promotes altruistic behavior via acting out reparative tendencies, whereas shame reduces altruism by means of increasing social and interpersonal distance."

This explains so much about Ten's choice to sacrifice his own happiness and ask Rose to take his Meta-Crisis as her life partner. He's pushing her away, isolating himself. He's rejecting the people he loves the most because he's in a very, very dark place.

🖤🤍💜 An Asexual (Meta) Reading

There's so many reasons that Ten felt he couldn't give Rose the life she wanted (his trauma, his values). There's one angle I've been sifting around in my head in the past couple years, and it's more of a headcanon than anything: For me, because of the way the Doctor's character has been established since 1963, the Doctor's own asexuality is an almost meta-conceptual reason why the Doctor in general can't have a "normative," family life.

He couldn't say "I love you"—not because he didn't love her. (He loved her more than he ever loved himself.) But also because he knew what saying those words would mean: the expectations, the responsibility, the behaviors he felt she deserved to have from him because those words carry so much weight in human culture. All those things he could not give her.

But the Meta-Crisis could. I personally headcanon that the Meta-Crisis is not asexual like the Doctor. (Just like John Smith may not have been asexual either.) The point of both John Smith and the Meta-Crisis is showing how much they differ from the Doctor—and I think sexuality is one of those differences. It's why it was so easy for John Smith to imagine a traditional life, why it was so easy for the Meta-Crisis to promise his entire world and his entire self to Rose on that beach.

🌹 The Meta-Crisis and Rose Tyler

Which brings me back to the Tentoo himself. He was born in battle and he can die, but what does that exactly mean for his life with Rose? It's fascinating because to imagine the Doctor feeling mortality and knowing he cannot cheat death anymore—that's a horrific, terrifying thing.

There are actually two Big Finish Audios that explore this traumatic realization for the Doctor, and what that does to him. (They're both one-shots from Jackie's POV and narration, and you can listen to them here: Part 1, Part 2).

It makes Tentoo lean into his Ninth-era darkness, a ruthlessness to villains driven by the fear that he cannot protect Rose because he is not indestructible. But luckily for him, there are people he loves around him (Jackie and Rose) who keep him from that darkness.

Additionally, the Big Finish stories lean into the fact that Tentoo and Rose aren't sitting idly by. Both of them work for Torchwood and are growing their own TARDIS to continue to defend the Earth.

They don't settle down into a domestic life, at least not right away, and I think that suits them both. We know how much Rose didn't want the life of eating chips and watching telly. But listen to what RTD's Doctor Who has always tried to say: How deeply important the everyday things are, how much the Doctor, for how amazing they are, craves for a life of simplicity and the stupid little things that define humanity.

Because here's the key: It wasn't the everyday things that bothered Rose. Like she told Mickey in "Parting of the Ways":

ROSE: But what do I do every day, mum? What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed? Is that it? MICKEY: It's what the rest of us do. ROSE: But I can't! MICKEY: Why, because you're better than us? ROSE: No, I didn't mean that. But it was. It was a better life. And I don't mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know he showed you too. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away

Rose didn't hate the domestic, everyday life. She hated how life had no meaning.

She hated how people let things happen to them, without challenging anything or standing up for anything. She didn't want to travel as much as she wanted to live, to be something and do something with her life.

And that's the magic of Doctor Who, particularly RTD's era. Because you can be amazing and you can have meaning even without the Doctor, but the Doctor shows you how.

You stand up for what you believe is right and you choose to give meaning to what you do in life. You don't need to travel the stars to do that. You can make choices that give your life meaning right here and now. You can believe in something. You can find meaning in your place in the universe. You can give your enthusiasm and time to something that is important. Meaning and purpose comes from how we see the world, and that change in perspective is what Rose finds with the Doctor.

If Rose is with someone who can fill her life with meaning, who inspires her to see life as a beautiful adventure, then it really doesn't matter what she's doing with them. In The Impossible Planet, Rose was completely willing to settle down with Ten to "find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe." Why? Because she'd be with him.

ROSE: This lot said they'd give us a lift. DOCTOR: And then what? ROSE: I don't know. Find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe.

If I imagine Tentoo as a dad, I can't help but imagine him like Tennant himself. Kind, giving, selfless, and loving. I think Tentoo would be so afraid of letting someone hurt his child, because he hasn't had a family in so long, and he isn't the same man he was in those ancient days when, as a completely different man, he had a family.

He's a man still afraid of himself, still keenly aware of the inhuman things he's capable of. I think this fear would drive Rose and him closer together, like it did when he was Nine. But Tentoo is more self-aware now, more willing to grow and change and be different. Because he's the Doctor who was given a second chance, to live the life he thought he'd never have with the person he loves. He wants to be different to make this work.

I also think Tentoo would be the Doctor who passes on his title after he's gone. Not that I like to think about Tentoo dying one day, but let's be real: Where would his TARDIS go? As a half-human, I think Tentoo could imagine Mia taking on the role of Defender of the Earth when he and Rose have passed on. She would have been there to see it grow, and she would have been there when Tentoo and Rose first stepped out into the stars with this brand-new TARDIS. Because of his mortality, I think it would make Tentoo more open to sharing the secret, sacred things of his Gallifreyan people with the family he chose to start. He's not alone anymore, he has someone to share it with, someone who will pass it on after him and keep the world safe in his stead.

Which is all to say, I think it's a gift that Rose has the Meta-Crisis. Because when Ten regenerated and became, as he said, a completely different man, she was able to stay with the person she fell in love with and explore what that life was like, to have him with her for all of her life, and all of his.

today i'm gonna post all of my recent works- I hope you guys love it! because you all deserve it.

im not gonna say i did my best on all of these, but this is the most ive made in a little over a month. (I started this around feb 27th) and im super proud of myself!

ive had this funk around my mind for a LONG time, until the people around me started to push me out of it.

and that includes you guys as well! Im so glad to have met you all, happy 80+ followers!!!

the posts after these are gonna be queued, around 3-5pm CT, and they are filled with my preferences on headcannons and oneshots, just so you can get to know me a little better.

in them you'll find some fictional characters i'd really love to be in a relationship with, loose drafts, some inclusive things ive never written before, and overall diversity compared to the things i've written before. some may have a sprinkle of my personality, others with a handful of my culture. it doesnt matter! read to your heart's content.

if the reader doesnt relate to you at all- oh well. not trying to be mean or anything- but these are my preferences. These are things that I want to see. if you want something more, please request it.

and yes I do understand the difference between cannon and head cannon (I think about it all the time!) so therefore, some things may not make sense. unless there's context ig.

speaking of- i need more reqs TT-TT (sorry for asking, ive just been getting a lil drought recently)

back to it- you may also see the occasional digital art, depending on what's gonna happen. (im currently writing this on march 1st) and i'll finish it off with some new playlists ive been brewing up for a minute!

i may also need someone to remind me to add the links to the masterlist, as well as VGL💜. If someone could do that I will be eternally grateful

and thats it!

a few things I recommend while reading:

1) I know this sounds super specific, but my works were made with canary, but they all look better in goth rave (you can change the colors when you press dashboard on the pull out menu) 2) have an open mind! while I don't know much, or haven't researched, let me know if some of the things I describe are inaccurate. (this also includes grammar and typos!) 3) have a lil snakie snack. those who don't drink water aren't welcome past this point 😡✋🏾✋🏾

i just want to show you my appreciation for you all, and what better way to do it than doing what i started this blog for?

have a wonderful day my twizzies

(yes that is what im calling you all now, cope.)

(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و tags: @kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice. if you would like to be added, check my blog.

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.

this ghost ask list provided a rly good opportunity to talk abt cola since i dont think ive ever made an actual post for them or talk abt them much in general!!

the gifs above are their three most notable ghost shells, and the scenes they're gif'd from are even canonically compliant with their timeline. 😌

questions and answers are under the cut :} and it's LENGTHY just as a warning lmfao

legendary shards. What is your Ghost like? What character traits do they have? Cola has a bit of a strong personality, as in "if I don't wanna do it, then I won't" which has simultaneously always existed in and trickled down into Calamity. Not that there's never been a time when they've had to essentially suck it up and do it anyway, considering what their guardian career entails with Calamity, after all. They will speak up to voice their say on a matter when it's necessary or affects them. I will say I do think they were a bit too dependent on locating Calamity and subsequently kicking off their joint guardian career early on, because they really wanted to find their guardian like everyone else around them was and also were eager to prove themselves (as guardian and ghost) like they had been imagining for a long time. Another trait they share with Calamity is they can be a bit arrogant, especially when Calamity ends up involved in some of the canon "Young Wolf role" instances. This also includes a "nah that won't happen to me/us" attitude from time to time, even if on a deeper level they're definitely more concerned than they let on. A prominent example of this is while the pair work with the Spider, hypothetically a fellow ghost or anyone else could question about Cola's comfort around the dead ghost shells that their "boss" keeps, and Cola will simply (figuratively) shrug and reply that they're dead and don't need them anymore, or alternatively: "better them than me". However, it's also worth noting that Cola never physically manifests in the Spider's presence for a long time, showcasing how they try to keep up an appearance and not seem as concerned as they may actually be. Overall, Cola sounds like a mini-Calamity as far as general overall personality goes, though they definitely do have their own differences naturally. However, Calamity doesn't do anything that Cola isn't at least partially on board with either for the most part. Cola is also very proud of their guardian's accomplishments, which in turn makes them their own accomplishments as well since Calamity's very survival depends on Cola, and the ghost knows it. The long-lasting working relationship with the Spider was/is a bit more muddled, and quite frankly the pair's involvement with Spider is a separate MASSIVE can of worms I won't delve into here obviously, but it's also worth noting that Cola is every bit of willing to continue said working relationship as Calamity is regardless of any fleeting wariness.

glimmer. Is your Ghost a loner or has a friend group? Do they hang out with other Ghosts or Guardians? Before finding Calamity, Cola had a small circle of acquaintances - mostly fellow ghosts also searching for their guardians. They would keep in contact, catch up at the Tower if any or all of them happened to be around in between their searches, and I'd say there's a good chance Cola has met at least one of the more prominent guardians at the Tower (Vanguard, the in-game vendors, etc.) even if it was just a group setting. However, Cola typically focused on their search. Even moreso as one by one, more of their acquainted ghosts returned with a guardian of their own. Cola was always genuinely happy for them of course, but would still experience a small pang of envy and unknowingly resort to isolating from them for a bit as they would turn their attention to searching to try and push that envy/feeling of being left behind away. Their envy would often leave them in that mindset of "I think I deserved to find mine before them and it's unfair" though it's not a thought they'd ever voice out loud, even if in their most frustrated and dejected moments, they really wanted to. Currently, Cola has adjusted better once they found Calamity. A few of the same ghosts from before still keep in contact with them, with one of them coincidentally being the ghost of my warlock oc. :] Cola has also warmed up to becoming acquainted with the guardians of their ghost friends/acquaintances, in contrast to how they were before when they'd avoid contact because of how jealous they felt. :[ OH, adding this last minute, but so far I'm feeling out a possible friendship they develop with Fynch too. :> Unfortunately it's probably technically AU territory, since I don't think they're canonically involved with the Witch Queen campaign, but also everyone knows that will not stop me from indulging in things off to the side. Cola will naturally be a bit prickly around Fynch at first, understandably so. BUT, I do think an eventual genuine friendship blooming from that as they continue to work together would be so nice for the two of them... :'] As for Cola and Calamity's relationship, they are close! They definitely butt heads from time to time, but overall the two are essentially on the same page for most things.

ascendant shards. How did the Ghost find your Guardian? How long did it take them? Cola rez'd Calamity on Venus! The former managed to convince a duo of guardians to take them along to the planet, and separated from them once they arrived. After searching for a prolonged amount of time, Cola finally stumbled upon their future guardian's corpse within a smaller security outpost. The pair unfortunately had to spend at least a few days navigating away from Eliksni and Vex until they could find a way off-planet. That opportunity presented itself at last when they ran into a different guardian who helped secure them transportation that could get them back to Earth. Cola had been searching for quite awhile, though I'm not sure if that was their first trip to Venus or not. The exact timeline of Cola's search is pretty vague for me at the moment too, but it felt like an eternity for the ghost regardless. Searching Venus was lengthy too, again it naturally feels really long when you're trying so hard to locate a particular corpse and avoid drawing attention from the Eliksni/Vex no matter how long it actually took.

enhancement core. How does the Ghost behave in combat? Do they help the Guardian in any way? This is a good question because I've frankly never thought about it. I'd say Cola typically stays quiet in the heat of combat so Calamity can focus. If the latter is on his own, Cola may call out anything necessary or discuss their plan while in the field. They're not really a "commentary for the sake of commentary" type of ghost. I'll also say that Cola would definitely wield their own little gun and jump right into combat alongside their guardian if they could or if it wasn't extremely imperative they don't get themselves destroyed. Cola'd easily be part of the "#give Ghost a gun" crowd. So you can imagine how elated Cola is when they have the chance to operate weaponry, such as manning the turret in the Machinist mission in Forsaken lmao.

bright dust. Is your Ghost stylish? Do they like different shells or do they stick to one? Do they have a unique or recognizable feature? Cola isn't one to frequently change shells. They're very content sticking with one for a long while. And naturally, they like having a matching color scheme with Calamity's armor. :] Their most noteworthy shells used are in the gifs above: The default white one they practically began life in, The Freyja shell after finding Calamity and they purchase it (which is also a nice little nod to their search's success on Venus because of its description: "For Ghosts who have climbed the Freyja Montes of Venus."), Followed by the servitor shell that is more or less their "work uniform" when essentially running errands for Spider. I still haven't decided if their previous Freyja shell was (voluntarily) traded to Spider or not when they received the servitor one or if they opted to save it, because they'd probably be fine sticking to the latter all the time. It's definitely way less obvious of a "walking Spider goon here" sign than Calamity's tangled web mark which frankly he most likely wouldn't be wearing nearly as frequently as it's seen in my gifs and screencaps of him lmao. Depends, I guess.

silver. Does the Ghost have their own space wherever the Guardian lives? What does it look like? I like to think that Cola does! I'm honestly still unsure of exactly where Calamity hangs around as a personal "home residence". Despite that, I can see Cola having a small nook of their own in the same space that Calamity sleeps/hangs around in. I do also like the idea of Cola still having their original white shell in said space for sentimentality. They'd also prefer to hang around in their space while Calamity rests or is busy. Cola naturally likes Calamity and will hover around them and maybe perch on/near them for awhile, but when it comes to times such as Calamity sleeping, Cola prefers their own space instead of cuddling up with him or something like that. Cola would keep their space simple. Maybe a cloth or small cushion for them to rest on, their first ghost shell as mentioned above, and perhaps a souvenir or two from either their excursions or something they bought around the Tower, etc. HOWEVER, I do think there are particular times when Cola does wanna be closer to Calamity in a setting like that, and will nestle on or around him. It's just not as often as one would generally expect from a close ghost and guardian. This is a bit of an ironic development, considering I've touched on how Cola's search and early days with Calamity had them glued alittle too closely to their guardian in a sense.

exotic cipher. How does the Ghost feel about the Crucible and Gambit? Cola likes it! They'll watch broadcasted matches in their downtime, and Cola wishes Calamity enjoyed it more and wasn't so put off by it because he's a bit of a sore loser lmao, but in the end, it's not that big of a deal that they don't participate as often as Cola wants to. [Cola voice] "We've got more important things to handle anyway because we're important and all. :]"

spoils of conquest. What is the Ghost’s attitude towards the Darkness powers? And the Guardian if they are using it? Cola was a bit more on the fence about it as Calamity was. While Cola is rational and will recognize the advantages of something like that, I think what made them feel more unsure about it was that it was obviously not what is familiar to them - the Light. Canon Ghost's dialogue in Beyond Light voicing his concern on whether he'd even be able to heal/resurrect the Guardian is a main concern of Cola's as well and comes from a practical sense naturally. I would say that the Witness/Darkness speaking to/through them previously has also left Cola a bit shaken at this point and hammers that apprehension in deeper too. However, Cola has faith in Calamity's capability to wield it and thus grows more comfortable with the idea and handling it in action. I'll be honest that Calamity's exact level of involvement in canon Beyond Light events and how much he actually utilizes Stasis (if even at all) is still up in the air for me for the most part, so it's pretty wishy-washy but this is just a general idea of it for now.

enhancement prism. What was the Ghost’s life before finding their Guardian? Oof, I kind of already answered this under "glimmer", at least for Cola's social life. I can see Cola maybe having supplied some miniscule intel to the ghost network as they traveled and happened to observe/discover something useful. I will say though that Cola definitely felt really lonely, despite technically having others around them to talk to if they needed. Self-isolating, in a way. "Seeing guardian/ghost pairs unfortunately ignites that loneliness/envy within me so I try to avoid what is causing me emotional pain/discomfort." :[ But also as I typed that, I wouldn't put it past Cola to cope with that by trying to launch themselves into these risky intel/scouting operations for the network. However, I don't think that'll be the case because it mirrors Calamity alittle too closely. Even if Cola doesn't jump eye-first into perilous situations like that, something more low risk that I can see them volunteering for more often (in the occasional downtime between searches they'd have) would possibly be routine deliveries/etc. around the Tower and Last City? Something to that effect.

upgrade module. What does the Ghost like to do in free time? Do they have hobbies? While Calamity isn't much for baking during the Dawning, Cola actually likes it alot! And Calamity will do it for Cola's sake considering the latter can't exactly do it on their own, but the Dawning in particular became so much more enjoyable for Cola after they found Calamity. Again, even though Cola had support and friends and people to talk to as they searched for their guardian, they really did unknowingly self-isolate alot so celebrations like the Dawning - while still enjoyable and something Cola participated in - would also leave them feeling lonelier than usual. And so far I'm liking the idea of Cola taking an interest in astronomy/space exploration, whereas Calamity is more of a planetary (specifically fauna/biology/etc.) kind of guy. In a way they're like a "deep space" and "deep ocean" type of pair lmao. Cola does enjoy Calamity sharing their enjoyment of music/dance with them too. :]

The sawyer twins with their s/o headcannons

Sorry for the long wait ive been gone for some months now and I apologize. Ive been kinda uninspired recently so I though Id post this for shits and giggles. Requests are always open

These headcannons only account for the events and characters of tcsm1 and tcsm2. Any other tcsm media is not included or accounted for

I apologize in advance for both grammatical and spelling errors:)

Chop top

As far as past relationship experience im sure he had some pre-nam but like zero post-nam so safe to say hes a little rusty in that department

Your relationship is most likey based off a shared interest or one of his weird infatuations. Things like music, 70s-80s culture, murder. Or you could just be an innocent civilian who he decides is like the best person ever 🤷

He flirts like ATROCIOUSLY

Not like bad at flirting but goes from 0-100. He could be complimenting you on your outfit and then say the most dog awful shit known to man

Dates consist of driving the truck looking for victims or just looking around town trying to find something interesting to do

If you thought he annoyed drayton....oh youre in for a suprise. You might just become draytons favorite person bc now chop is running around asking you dumb questions and not him

He loves when you wear his clothes or anthing of his. Pins, jackets, drawls, ect. he loves seeing you wear them no matter the occasion

He probably has some sort of pain fetish/kink so I dont doubt he will ask you to cut him, lick his plate, pick at the skin around it

Its kinda his favorite thing to be in pain since he has such a high pain tolerance but if you dont want him to cut you he wont (though expect him to urge you to try or push to introduce weapons into the bedroom)

Likes to play fight with you whenever the opportunity trikes

Being in the military he ruff housed alot with his fellow soldiers so doing it with you is kinda a fun thing for him ( also because he knowns he has that military strength and always wins)

Trys to scare the living shit out of you for his own amusement. If you're doing something important or just reading he'll come up from behind you and start yelling for no reason 😒

He doesn't shower often 😀 so the only way that you will get him to bathe is to get in with him. This goes for other hygienic practices. You kinda got to take it into your own hands

Nubbins

If chop was rusty then nubbins must be corroding because he has little to no experience with relationships past one-sided obsessions and TV

He most likely was the one who got obsessed first doing things like spending copious amounts of time with you and taking photos of you whenever he could(both when you were aware and unaware)

The fact that you liked him back was not only a shock to him but to the whole family, especially drayton. You can just image chops jaw dropping after getting a letter while deployed that his twin brother actually has game

Isnt very good at flirting or just isn't experienced in the feild

He isnt as lewd as his twin when trying to hit on you but his....compliments?....just come out weird. "You look like you taste good" "WHAT?!" Tbh i think he means it😬

Your dates are mostly him getting into trouble doing things he shouldn't be doing. He likes to take you on his adventures to the slaughter house or leading victims (really all his date choices are morbid). If you get to choose the date however, sitting in a field or playing around a lake is sufficient

He also likes pain and constantly inflicts pain on himself. Will likely ask you to participate in hurting him or hurting yourself. He'll call you a baby at first if you decline but eventually leaves you alone about it after a while

He also enjoys playfighting with you because it gives him something to help dilute all that energy he has. If he cuts you in the process or knocks you over he'd be the type to mock your pain and over exaggerate his own if he gets hurt

Brings you random things he finds when scavenging around as gifts as well as polaroids of you doing everyday activities without the knowledge of you being photographed

If you find some photos hes taken of you without your knowledge laying around he'll scratch the back of his neck and shrug. Maybe even fiend innocence

Bothers you no matter what you're doing. You in the middle of doing chores? Nubbins will be there asking you anything under the sun just to get you to focus on him for a few minutes

At this point him getting on your nerves is fun for him since we've seen his reaction at getting under draytons skin. Constantly being stubborn about things he would have normally done like doing his chores or setting the table just because he wants you to force him

As far as bedroom wise hes not very skilled more than likely focuses mainly on you and bases alot of his moves on whats hes learned from films and magazines

All the transfem Uni stuff has kinda bothered us on a more personal level

We love seeing transfem rep don’t get us wrong! But the Uni fictive in our system wasn’t fem at all (note: we aren’t the system with a Uni who got called a “parody” or the fictive anon you’ve already seen; we’ve mostly kept to ourselves out of fear) and once the transfem confirmation came out and Kneeby started saying stuff about how nobody should see Uni as masc anymore (which we do understand the “why” of), Uni in our sys got REALLY upset

He was even more scared to exist than he was before bc he’s more masc aligned, and he was terrified that his existence and identity would hurt people (aka Kneeby) or get him hurt by the fandom

Now they’ve almost forced themself to be ok with fem pronouns and stuff (she seems happy and says it was just their identity shifting, but I’m really not sure…).

The fact that they were and still are so scared to even EXIST as themself (even though being different from source is one of the most common things for fictives) when this is supposed to be a disability-friendly place really says something about how harsh this community can be

Sorry about the sorta-vent but Uni’s been really wanting to get this off his chest and this seemed like a better place to talk about it than anywhere else

i may be a singlet but i resonate heavily with this. i remember early 2023, i was a uni fictionkin and this was basically my exact experience, im an autistic masc leaning gay enby and when i first got into sparklecare i saw myself in uni and projected everything about myself onto them, which included my identity for a while once i heard about the reveal. i felt erased by the reveal, and in all honesty i still sorta do even though i dont see myself in them at all anymore, considering how the actually mlm characters (mel cyn orange) are pushed to the side and given no screen time unless cyns trying to start fires.

i dont see myself in uni at all anymore, but i saw everything about myself in them at one point, and i was terrified of making myself a known figure at all in the fandom since i knew id be judged and criticized for being a masc gay and still resonating with uni. i spoke up about this, which i consider one of the worst mistakes ive ever made since im still hated to this day for it, by almost the entire fandom, even some of the clowns. ironically, i was the one being accused of erasure for speaking up about how the clowns seem to not want gay men in their comic.

thank you for the words.