"her part seemed to her more ignoble than that of the staff he leaned on"

I love you Gandalf. He just gets it.

The sexism that blighted Eowyn's life, that came from the hands not from enemies but loved ones, reduced her and cut her down to fit her into a box, until Eowyn didn't even feel like a person anymore. And Eomer, when it's spelled out to him, goes back and looks at their life together differently, and realises the wrong that's been done to her.

She was a tool, something to be leant on and used, to provide support for the men's desires and the men's ambitions and the men's glory, with no will of her own.

Her family loved her, but they saw her as what they would have her be, viewing her through the lens of what they believe women to be instead of seeing Eowyn (and women as a whole) for herself, instead of recognising her as her own being with own merit and skills.

It's that thing of sexism not only making women less equal, but less human.

They are a tool, a service. They are a monolith, a group assigned to perform certain roles, valued for performing those roles (to an extent) but not actually individuals, with individuals thoughts and hopes and skills and dreams. Not to the same extent as men.

And because these are the roles they're meant to serve, there's no injustice, no tragedy of lost potential and missed opportunities, because as women they don't have that potential and they don't need those opportunities.

It's no wonder Eowyn wanted to die in battle. Going to battle, riding out against the orders of all those who caged her in, that was her regaining control of her life, a life that seemed to be no life, because she was no real living person. Just a staff to be leant on. And in going to battle, when she has been told not to, in making a choice for herself, she reclaims her humanity. But she's been so broken down that she thinks the only way to avoid going back to being an object is to die in battle.

Faramir doesn't treat her like an object. He treats her like a person, one similar to him. He sees her worth and merit and he admires her strength and her deeds while also feeling compassion for her suffering. After Faramir meets her, he seeks out Merry, to try and find out about her, instead of making presumptions about her based on her sex.

Faramir bothers, he takes the effort to find out who Eowyn is, instead of deciding for her.

And Merry, who rode to war with her and also sees her who she is, helps. No wonder he and Eowyn, though parted by distance, remain great friends and Eowyn adores him.

But Eowyn doesn't just get a happy ending from having a man in her life who treats her decently.

Tolkien makes a point to have Eowyn not just declare herself as choosing to live to be Faramir's wife, it's not a case of unhappy feminist who wants to be like a boy but is finally happy when she "accepts femininity" and finds a good man to protect her.

She says she will be a healer. Faramir has spoken nothing of that. It's not a role he has chosen for her or he's taking on and she's going to do to help him. They will be married and support each other and share a life, but she will also be her own seperate person.

It's a role that she's chosen for herself, without orders or pressure from anybody else. A role that will put her strength and her wits and her stomach iron to good use, and means she won't have to wait until battle to feel alive. A role that is seen as a mark of leadership, for the greatest leaders in Middle Earth, men and women, are also healers.

This such an important arc, and it really is incredible of Tolkien to write it.

A woman who has had her own goals and skills overlooked in favour of how she can serve men, who has been kept locked in the home to tend to her family's needs with no relief or chance to go out and live life on her terms.

Who is beloved by her family, who are good people, yet still mistreated because sexism is just part and parcel of her world and even well meaning people take part in it.

A woman whose humanity has been diminished at the hands of her loved ones because of sexism and gender roles.

A woman who proves the naysayers wrong by riding out to battle, bringing along Merry who has also been left behind, and proving herself pivotal to the victory.

A woman who only finds hope for the future when she is ceased to be treated as a useful object, when she forges bonds with Merry and Faramir who don't see her as a staff for the men to walk on, nor a faulty one who keeps trying to run off on its own and needs to be brought back, but as an individual with her own hopes and failings and dreams and skills, not defined by what the patriarchy says a woman's role is.

A when she does find hope for life again, she does so not only in finding love and friendship and camaraderie, but in a vocation that will be her own, in a career that will give her own her role in the world, a role that is associated with leadership, and leadership in her own right, not as an adjunct of her husband's.

And this is how she gets her happy ending. From love (Faramir), friendship (Merry), understanding (Eomer, looking at Eowyn anew in the House of Healing) and through independence (becoming a Healer). This is how she gets a happy ending, because this is how she reclaims her personhood.

BSD Dead Apple manga highlights!!

Kunikida is insane. "Oh yeah getting shot in the gut is no big deal dwai" and then he proceeds to run around and fight both his own Ability and Demon Snow after this. Jesus.

Kunikida's so resourceful tbh. I love watching him fight. Akutagawa's later fight with Rashoumon (where he demonstrates similar resourcefulness using the molten metal) is also cool for the same reason, because like it's one thing to be TOLD these characters are cool under pressure and smart as long as Dazai's not there to piss them off and a whole other to be shown it.

SO THIS CONFIRMS MY THEORY. I need a fight scene where Yosano detaches her limbs and uses them as weapons after she heals them omg she's so fucking badass. Side note the fact that Kenji and Yosano held up so long against their Abilities is so impressive? Like all of them are ofc but Undefeated and Thou Shalt Not Die are both like, extremely powerful. Your fighting a power that rearranged a mountain and a power that basically can't be killed. Like damn.

Lmfao Akutagawa's main priority is watching their Abilities fight each other

D A S H

I love how casually he says this lmfaoo Also LMAO AKUTAGAWA DO U HAVE SOME UNRESOLVED FEELINGS TOWARDS DAZAI OR SOMETHING?? HMM??

Confirmation Dazai fucking hates both of them. He was probably tearing his hair out internally this whole time. Literally him going "friendless behavior" at Shibusawa lmao- ALSO THE 'MEOW EXCHANGE. HE ACTUALLY MEOWED. THIS IS SO FUCKING DRY LMFAO.

Akutagawa's monologue is conveyed in a really cool way via manga adaptation... like DA has some great development for Akutagawa, Kyouka and Atsushi, but Akutagawa's in particular stands out to me because it doesn't really disprove his strength-based worldview?? He finds his own self worth through that view instead which is interesting, by overpowering his Ability instead of finding somewhere he's valued beyond it like say, Yosano.

This is also SUCH an interesting panel. "That I control Demon Snow/That I didn't want to hate her" it's like Atsushi has previously only seen Kyouka as a victim, as being controlled against her will and never wanting any of the violence she partook in when this kinda... confirms it's not all the case? DA as a whole kinda tries to break Atsushi's black and white worldview but I also think, between this and how well Akutagawa and Kyouka work together in DA, there was likely a part of Kyouka who knew she was good at killing and violence, and liked that about herself, if nothing else. The ability to not be completely helpless, even if her circumstances as a whole were not within her control.

"Are you fucking serious" he is SO DONE with Dazai's shit lmfao.

Soukoku are fucking insane. What do you MEAN you noticed Dazai's hidden message from a mention of a microscope. What do you mean you remember all your interactions with him that clearly. What do you mean-

Ohh my fucking god is that a tear in the last panel?? Oh my god did Chuuya mean he just doesn't want Dazai to stop him in Corruption. Chuuya cannot catch a fucking BREAK oh my god.

So Ango is also suicidal right?? Like sure he has a reason for saying this but also this is not a normal thing to say. He uses Chuuya's vow to kill him to try and stop Chuuya from what he sees as a suicidal mission later. Like this is not normal.

"Dazai doesn't care about the ADA!" shut the fuck up

Oh my god. This was so fucked up oh my god. Poor baby Atsushi oh my god.

The repetition of "I raised by claws" is SO chilling here omg. But I also find it so so interesting that I think Atsushi is... the only BSD character who just... wants to live. Not for other people, he definitely doesn't want to die. Like so many characters in BSD (Dazai, Yosano, Chuuya, Kunikida, Kyouka, Ango, arguably Akutagawa) are in some manner suicidal, or even the ones who aren't have reasons they life for. But Atsushi's base desire is just... he wants to live. That's where his Ability comes from. It's why he killed Shibusawa. It's so interesting.

So there are two sides to Fyodor's Ability. But he CALLS HIMSELF crime in this case?? Bc the Crime avatar is wearing what Fyodor was wearing. I've seen theories Fyodor himself is just the manifestation of his own Ability or something and tbh... that might have merit.

Tbh, I often wonder how Ango ended up working with the government. It's repeatedly mentioned how he dislikes and opposes their use of human lives as value metrics, or plans like this for the 'greater good', and yet he still does their bidding. He's still here. Even though no one listens to his oppositions. Why?

Anyway so if anyone has manga translations past Ch 13 please help I can't find any lol.

Time for some more Phee love

I have to admit that I was not a Phee fan at first. Wanda Sykes is one of those people who just gets on my nerves for absolutely no reason so when I saw she was going to be in TBB, I was less than thrilled. And her first introduction didn't really have me changing my mind. But I enjoyed the Indiana Jones episode (Entombed? I think?) with her and started to like her just a bit more then. She was kinda fun.

And then I saw Pabu.

The way she melted into the squad like she had always been there was huge for me. She gets these guys. They like her. They work well together. And the way she cared about Omega? Wanting her to get normal childhood experiences like friends her own age who aren't related to her? She wasn't just trying to get a backup team from the boys. She genuinely cared about them.

And then she offered the squad her home. They needed a place to belong and she gave it to them without even hesitating. And when we get there, we learn that she's not just a pirate making a quick buck for herself. Oh sure, she'll do that too but she does have values and she cares about a lot more than what she can get for herself.

There is a depth to Phee that takes a few episodes to find but once you see it, it's clear that she is a good and decent person. She's brash and blunt and courageous and loyal. She's adventurous and fun and she's never met a challenge she wasn't up for. She's guarded and cautious with her heart and she is so open and loving and generous when she finds someone worth trusting.

For heck's sake, she bickers with her droid endlessly but how many times has she rebuilt Mel? More than once, we know for sure. Phee loves fiercely and wholly and she will go to the ends of the galaxy for those she cares about.

And oh goodness I do love that she's still there for the squad this season. It would have been so easy to walk away after losing her primary link to them but she stayed. She's there so fully and so unflinchingly that it's obvious she never even thought twice about it. Phee shows up when they need her most and they tell her they want to do something that is frankly suicidal and doesn't even blink - sounds like fun, sign her up, let's do it! They didn't even have to ask her to tag along. All they really asked for was a ride off Pabu. But there was never a question that she would be there with them, for them, with whatever they needed.

She's the kind of character that makes me like the actress who plays her, despite my previous opinions. I don't know about you guys but for me, that is a short list with scarce company.

Phee is one of the best.

If I'm reading a romance book set in a world with soulmates, I want my main couple to be fated soulmates instead of the FL having another destined soulmate and the ML potentially finding his soulmate fifty years down the line.

If I'm reading a romance book where the ML can control sentient shadows, I want his shadows to interact with the FL and be curious about her rather than skittering back from her and vanishing whenever she is around.

If I'm reading a romance book where the FL likes gardening, socializing, expresses interest in traveling and abhors violence, I would like the ML to complement her in both interests and values.

If I'm reading a romance book where the ML likes singing, is competitive, has to fight often and struggles with self-worth issues, I would similarly like the FL to complement him in both interests and values.

If I'm reading a romance book I would preferably like the ML to look at the FL with admiration and quiet encouragement instead of pity.

If I'm reading a romance book where the FL explicitly says she is not a child to be fought over, I would like the ML to respect her wishes and autonomy instead of going behind her back to express interest and satisfaction in killing her other suitors.

If I'm reading a romance book and the ML has to give a gift to the FL, I would like him to choose a thoughtful present related to her passion instead of dreading the action and being relieved when he doesn't have to do it.

If I'm reading a romance book and the ML is in a situation where someone has to stay behind to guard the FL, I would like him to volunteer to do it instead of drawing lots with his brother and being happy when he isn't chosen.

If I'm reading a romance book and the FL is in a dangerous situation that the ML cannot directly intervene in, I would like him to express trust in her abilities and skills to get herself out of it.

If I'm reading a romance book I would like the ML to be so smitten with the FL that in his eyes, she is the most beautiful female he has ever seen.

If I'm reading a romance book and the ML is asked about his future with the FL, I would like him NOT to reply that he has not thought about her beyond sexual fantasies.

If I'm reading a romance book and the ML is ordered by his supervisor to stay away from the FL, I would like to say "fuck it" and disobey the order anyway instead of obliging.

If I'm reading a romance book and the ML and FL are about to kiss but they get interrupted, I would like him NOT to call it a mistake.

If I'm reading a romance book in a fantasy world with elemental powers and the FL says she needs sunshine after a traumatic ordeal, I would think that the ML is more likely to be someone related to the sun, light and day.

If I'm reading a romance book and the FL is portrayed as more traditionally feminine and gentle and kind but with hidden layers to her character, I would like the ML NOT to be someone who will coddle her and protect her, but someone who can challenge her and get her to bare her fangs, who may be the only person she is standoffish toward in the story.

If I'm reading a romance book and the ML ends his first and only POV chapter thinking of how someone's eyes might light up at receiving his gift and how her happiness brings a smile on his face, I would naturally assume that this person is the FL.

If I'm reading a romance book then I want chemistry between our main leads, and the most convincing method is to show a conversation between the ML and FL where they exchange banter and preferably share a similar sense of humor.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: If I'm reading a romance book I want to see organic tension and growth between our main leads and their relationship blossom ON PAGE, so it should start with the ML and FL NOT having any romantic feelings for each other yet or in a position where they are at odds with each other.

If I'm reading a romance book and the bulk of the ML and FL's interactions have ALREADY occurred mostly off-page so we have missed their entire relationship growth, I would close the book and chuck it aside for a real romance book.

Just take out the characters' names and put in "ML" and "FL", and I think things become quite blatantly clear. I think what a lot of people are forgetting is that ACOTAR is marketed as a ROMANCE fantasy.

Lilith in the 2nd house🕯🕸

What things you need to work: your main values, boundaries, and self-esteem.

What to avoid: excesses

Celebrities with this placement: Ariana Grande, Eva Green, Beyoncé, Mariah Carey, Robert Pattinson, Steve Jobs, Cate Blanchett, The Rock, and Mila Kunis. (To name a few).

☆ Lilith in Taurus can read it. They could find similarities.

🕯Here, Lilith wishes to be valuable in any way. They search values in external ways or things. However, this contributes to their shadow side.

🕯 Unfortunately, people see this native with lust. This make the native believe their body is their only asset (could be subconsciously), but isn't truth.

🕯 So, they use their body as an exchange of love, possessions, items or people.

🕯 They have a very sensual energy though, so if they cultivate it correctly...we are over!

🕯 An issue of this Lilith comes from seeing their body as their only value. If they consider themselves not beautiful, they could be self-destructive individuals. For example, binge eating, harmful substances ( or risky sexual relationships (similar to the 8th house).

🕯However, the native needs to understand that money, possessions or people don't complete them.

🕯 They can be very possessive of things, people and money. This scarcity mindset makes you a toxic person 😴. This energy doesn't benefit. Let things go if they aren't needed.

🕯 Stubborn to a certain level, maybe, actions, people or just accepting that "x isn't working".

🕯 It's possible that Lilith in the 2nd house comes from a chaotic environment with poverty, scarcity or lacking. They believe external resources could fix their life, but this isn't correct.

🕯 If lilith touches Venus in the native chart, this person would present a series of lovers who will try to possess her and see her as an item. Perhaps, Lilith thinks she's fine with it, but those angry outbreaks.

🕯 Lilith is scare of honesty and afraid of accepting that she only needs herself. So, two years of relationship was a waste? Yes and no. It teaches you that you deserve better.

🕯 Food is another sensitive topic. Natives with this placement develop a relationship with food that should be careful.

🕯 People may comment a lot on what they eat, their weight, or things regarding eating disorders. For instance, People always comments on Ariana's body; she has this placement.

🕯 Following with the same topic, this native is scrutinized with their eating habits, relationships and spending.

🕯 An insecure individual with this Lilith may see money as everything. It would be too important, and they do anything to get it. This may depend on their values, but usually those values are blurry.

🕯 If this Lilith is afraid of abandonment, they will stay with their crusty bf or friends for years.

🕯They could potentially be cheaters, especially undeveloped natives. Remember, that they can feel empty and unfilled if they don't accept themselves. Look at Miss Grande cheating history.

🕯 Their is other half that are so loyal, but they can stay trapped in unfulfilled relationships. They can forgiving their partners. So, balance and boundaries, people. *cough Beyonce cough *

🕯If you listen to your shadow, you will realize so much about yourself. You need to forgive yourself and love yourself. I did wrote Yourself a lot, see!!

🕯You are more than society standards; you are a human being with dreams.

🕯Your body your choice; people may judge your partners a lot, but be logical. Is that relationship worth it or are you being stubborn?

🕯 Spoiled and stubborn people and even selfish when they don't realize.

🕯 Don't fall into excesses with food, relationships or monetary problems. You need Boundaries.

🕯Be clear with your work ethic. Avoid illegal problems or deceptions. Don't talk bad about your coworkers or bosses 🤫.

🕯 Don't become jealous or envious of others' income. Be grateful of yours.

🕯 Humbleness is the key to abundance. Be grateful.

🕯 Nonetheless, they attract abundance very easily, but internal peace isn't through money.

🕯Prioriotize yourself and make room for healthy routines. Give yourself the stability you desire.

🕯 This Lilith's voice is honey for people's ears. They're very talented in singing and oratory. If they don't have the voice, they're very good liars or manipulators.

🕯Many can be Divas including the men.

🕯 Sometimes, issues with the father. This depicts their money and relationships problems. The father was an absent figure or emotionally unavailable.

I'm continuing with the Lilith houses; I haven't forgot. However, I should feel motivated to do it. You all deserve a good post.

Take care, mochis💚

Credit: @deepmochi

memoria is incredibly close to my heart, but when i listen to it now, it's hard not to think about the undertones re: how therapy as an institution handles disability. maxwell's objective was always to help hera get back to work, to find accommodations she could function under, or otherwise to replace her. "i'm sorry you feel like you can't do your job." maxwell presents her solutions in a less hostile framing, but her methods are the same ones cutter threatens hera with in her live show performance review (re: deleting her memories) and it's something she intends to do regardless of hera's consent. maxwell's practice aligns with goddard's interests, and of course it does. there's something about therapy as maintenance, and the treatment of the disabled mind and/or body as a broken machine.

hera is used to being condescended to and taunted for her limitations ("we all have our limits. you can't do what you can't do. it's not your fault.") and that intersects with her trauma ("i can't do this. i'm not good enough.") in a way that inherently ties her self worth to her ability to be useful and perform a job. as a result, she has a gut reaction to and a resistance to anyone suggesting she might not be capable of something, or that she might need help, and that makes her constantly push herself past her limits, causing real damage. the problem is that hera is disabled, there are things she can't do, and she hasn't been given the security or compassion to really come to terms with that. no amount of ways to manage doing her job will really help the core problem; she needs to be able to separate her concept of self worth from her productivity. "we get things wrong, and we get better." is a nice sentiment, but i think it applies more to interpersonal conflict than physical burnout. hera even directly calls back to and casts doubt on that specific line later in the show.

that's why eiffel matters so much to hera. when eiffel says "you can do anything" - he believes that, he has that kind of sincere faith in all of his friends, but he means it even when it's disproven. he's seen her fail. he's seen her make mistakes. it doesn't matter because it isn't about what he expects of her, it's about who she is to him. minkowski is the commander, even when she's not. hera can do anything, even when she can't. eiffel values people, not their jobs. if hera didn't have a supercomputer for a brain, she would still be the same to him; it's who she is and her companionship that he wants. i'm not saying that what maxwell did for hera was useless - it's effective therapy that gave her a clearer understanding of herself, and a framework to understand what's been happening to her; that's extremely valuable. but that alone would not have been enough. what hera thinks of at the end of memoria, what actually pulls her through, is the support and care that eiffel and minkowski continually show to her.

I have caught up through episode 8 of TsukuTabe and I really cannot contain my emotion about Kasuga's arc with her family in these episodes, so I am here to scream. That was so fucking beautiful. This has to be one of my favorite depictions of breaking the cycle of family trauma that I have ever seen.

I loved how efficiently the show established everything we needed to know about Kasuga's father with just a few lines of dialogue over the phone. The way he began the conversation by trying to shame her, the way he started making demands without asking her a single question about her life or how she was doing, the way he casually said "Akira is in the prime of his life" while tacitly dismissing any worth or value Kasuga's own life as a single woman might hold. With just that one conversation we knew exactly who that man is and why Kasuga has tried to build her own life in solitude rather than continue to live with him.

And her conversation with Nagumo gave us even more insight into how she was raised that fills in some context about the way she thinks about food and why taking pleasure in her meals is such a big deal for her. Kasuga's family deprived her of food (love), and so it's no wonder that meeting someone like Nomoto, who was so determined to give her food (love), would be such a life altering event for her, and finally give her the sense of safety she has never had.

I loved, too, that the show delivered some firm commentary on the way women are subjugated in heterosexual marriages and forced to serve their husband’s family like indentured slaves, particularly in many Asian cultures. Kasuga was very affected by seeing her mother live that way, and you could see she is carrying guilt about leaving this burden to her mother. But ultimately, she cannot control her mother's choices or fix her mistakes, she can only save herself from repeating them. And she found the strength within herself to do it, even though it must have been terrifying to take that leap.

The way that Kasuga drew that boundary with her father was a Very Big Deal in her cultural context, and I loved that the show drove that point home by having Kasuga confess to Nomoto about her decision and express her fear of being judged. She knows she will absolutely be cast as a bad daughter and judged harshly by most people who find out she has cut ties with her father, and she needed Nomoto to reassure her once again that their relationship is a safe place for her. She needed Nomoto to reassure her that she is her family now and she will always be on her side. And of course Nomoto did exactly that, and we got to end this very emotional episode with a Kasuga who is bravely building the life she wants for herself with the love and support of her chosen family.

This might be a strange idea but i was thinking that you could mabye wright the amazing digital circus with a reader who is trying to find a cure for abstracting, but also doing it in private so less people will bother them

It'll be worth it

This doesn't sound at all strange. Thanks for the request.

You had been in the circus a while. Having initially arrived slightly after Ragatha, unlike her you always kept to yourself never really being seen. Everyone just assumed that you loved being alone or hated people so they left you to your devices. A few had guesses on why Caine seemed to spend so much time with you but most just assuming that was just trying to give you some company. It had been a few months since anything of note has happened. No new arrivals, no abstractions. Everyone was starting to get a little on edge which lead to Ragatha checking in on everyone much more then usual. The main reason being that Jax had started being more aggressive with his boredom. It was actually Ragatha who first found out why you never went out, why you always seemed to be in a bad mood. She was stopping by to check on you when she overhead you and Caine celebrating something. Despite her best judgement she eavesdropped and heard you yell something along the lines of "Finally! Progress! It might... It might actually be possible! Caine! My work is paying off!" She didn't know what that meant so she took a moment to get back to normal then knocked on your door asking to come in. You surprisingly let her in so she, with a little hesitance walked into your room and saw an abstract in a glass cage type thing. That's when it clicked in her mind what you had meant. She walked up to you and did her best to keep a steady and calm voice. "Are you finding a way to fix abstraction?" "Yeah. But don't tell anyone. And before you ask, no, I don't want your help. I'm better at working alone." "But... You're letting Caine help you." "Yeah, but only cause he gets me the resources I need when I need em. wouldn't have that abstract contained without him. He has something of value to me, you don't. Now why are you here." She looked a bit hurt at your words but didn't want to intrude. So she saw herself out and let you get back to your work. Once she was out of the room Caine turned to you. "That was awfully rude, you should apologize. You don't usually act like that even when someone is annoying you. What happened?" You sigh and face your desk again getting back to work. Your thankful that you don't have to eat, drink, or sleep. It's sped up your work a lot and is the only real reason you're still healthy. "Caine, don't start this now. I'm the only one here with the skills and will to actually help those who have been lost. I can't afford to feel bad for hurting someone's feelings right now." "Well, you should still apologize when you can." "I will" ~~~~~ It's been. You don't even know. A month, two? It's hard to tell when you never leave your room. Another person has arrived in that time. From what you've heard from Caine her name's Pomni but you can't bring yourself to care not with what has just happened. You... You did it... You're currently sitting in your desk chair staring at the once contained abstract. It's not an abstract anymore though. It's who it was before, a yellowish orange and green wiggle worm. You slowly turn to Caine who is just as surprised as you. "Did I... Did we... A-are they ok? Are they themselves again? They look normal physically, but is their mind in one piece?" After a few more seconds of staring Caine snaps out of it and joins them in the containment cell. You can't hear what their saying but it seems that it's going well? He pokes his head through the wall with a giant smile on his face. "She's ok! Speaking in full sentences and not at all hostile!" You fall back onto your chair again completely taken back. You did it. YOU DID IT! "Ok, ok... This is big. But we need to be careful. It feels wrong but we should keep them contained for a bit longer. We don't know if their going to change back. Until were sure lets just take it slow." ~~~~~

It's a few days later now, you've been checking on them every 10 minutes or so. You also had Caine make it so you two can hear each other through the glass so she has someone to talk to and doesn't lose her mind again. You do one last check, nothing abnormal. You with a happy but tired sigh open it up and let her out. "Well, miss. How are you feeling? Sorry I kept you contained like that I just had to be sure as you are the first person I've been able to help." "Oh it's no trouble, I understand completely. And I'm feeling, great! Wonderful even." You let out a breath more happy to hear that then you had expected. Years of work. And it wasn't for nothing. "Well... Do you wanna meet the others? Sadly the people you knew since have long since abstracted, but I'm going to change that. But for now. We should introduce you to everyone." She doesn't have a mouth but you can tell she's smiling. You motion for her to follow then walk out of your room. For the first time since you've arrived you feel happy. Years and you finally have something to show for all your hard work.

(I enjoyed writing this. Enough to probably want another part. Hope you enjoyed it!)

xoxo, Jester

Why Jonsa compels me.

You know, part of if not all the reason that I find myself thoroughly and continually compelled by Jonsa in such a way that no other Asoiaf ship (or fandom pairing for that matter) does is because of how much it intrigues me from a character, intertextual, and literary/artistic standpoint. And how I’m constantly unveiling new (fascinating) things.

From a character level, I want more than anything for Jon and Sansa to love and be loved in its purest form. For them to finally attain the sweetness after all the bitter. For it to be this unadulterated thing brought into the light - that inspires hope, dreams and peace. Not just in themselves, but in the people who surround them. In Winterfell itself, (perhaps even the realm). That prospers and is unrelenting despite the darkness. I don't and will never subscribe to the rhetoric that either of these characters (namely Sansa, who suffers from this periodically) should be punished and have humility instilled in them by being paired with a fundamentally bad/evil character. Or that either of them should end up all alone, dying withered and without having experienced love and family and life - when they only possessed it for such a small portion of their lives. These are teenagers who have lamented their inadequacies after loss and trauma and abuse. Who just want to go home, who yearn to restore Winterfell to what it once was. Who wish for children and romance - but who have told themselves they can never have it in its most genuine untouched form.

But above all, these are teenagers just wanting to be loved, more than anything else in this world - they want placement, they want a home, and home to them is equated with love.

"She could feel the snow on her lashes, taste it on her lips. It was the taste of Winterfell. The taste of innocence. The taste of dreams." (ASOS, Sansa VII).

"Yet he could not let the wildlings breach the Wall, to threaten Winterfell and the north....For eight thousand years the men of House Stark had lived and died to protect their people against such ravagers and reavers . . . and bastard-born or no, the same blood ran in his veins. Bran and Rickon are still at Winterfell besides. Maester Luwin, Ser Rodrik, Old Nan, Farlen the kennelmaster, Mikken at his forge and Gage by his ovens . . . everyone I ever knew, everyone I ever loved." (ASOS, Jon II).

They draw strength from their blood.

"Then you must do what needs be done," Qhorin Halfhand said. "You are the blood of Winterfell and a man of the Night's Watch." (ACOK, Jon VI).

"He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night's Watch." (ASOS, Jon VI).

"He has Stark blood in him. The blood of Winterfell." (ADWD Jon IV).

"I am not your daughter, she thought. I am Sansa Stark, Lord Eddard's daughter and Lady Catelyn's, the blood of Winterfell." (AFFC Sansa I).

In Sansa's case, it is to remind herself of who she is at her core. That she isn't Littlefinger's plaything, or this political claimant, or a traitor's daughter, Lady Lannister any of that. She is Sansa Stark, and her blood will one day carry on the Stark name. And it will be in her own right.

And in Jon's case, it also exists to remind himself of who he is at his core. I can't place the quote right now, but GRRM has stated that despite not knowing who his mother is, Jon knows who he is, deep down. And my interpretation is Jon's core values, his honour, his worth. It has various meanings, but I find it all the more powerful when it's in reference to who Jon is as a person. To how he chooses to take action, seek justice, protect and love despite those flaws, inadequate qualms, insufficiencies. And I truly believe that is GRRM's allusion there.

Jon may not know who his mother is, but he knows who he is at his fundamental core. It's a matter of finding it and having the courage to wear it on his sleeve. And I think that is so vital for self-preservation and to live, to prosper.

When I consider Jon and Sansa together, I consider this mutual healing. And I'm not only talking about Jon endeavouring to retain his humanity after what happened to him, after the knives have swallowed him whole and he's uncertain, unsure, untamed. I expect to see that happen, and I anticipate for Sansa to guide him through that with gentleness and tenderness that he hasn't truly known. But even more so, It's about Jon finding acceptance within himself. I can imagine a scene with Sansa lamenting that Jon is a Stark "you are to me" and It's just so much more emotionally grounding for it to come from the girl most distant to Jon (the poetry of it all omfg).

But Sansa needs that reassurance from Jon as well, desperately.

"Sansa Stark went up the mountain, but Alayne Stone is coming down. It was a strange thought. Coming up, Mya had warned her to keep her eyes on the path ahead, she remembered. "Look up, not down," she said . . . but that was not possible on the descent. I could close my eyes. The mule knows the way, he has no need of me. But that seemed more something Sansa would have done, that frightened girl. Alayne was an older woman, and bastard brave." (AFFC, Alayne II).

And I believe he will be the one to help her with that.

"the wind was howling fiercely. It sounds like a wolf, thought Sansa. A ghost wolf, big as mountains."

.....

"Snow? Yes, it would be Snow, I suppose."

"She had not thought of Jon in ages. He was only her half brother, but still . . . with Robb and Bran and Rickon dead, Jon Snow was the only brother that remained to her. I am a bastard too now, just like him. Oh, it would be so sweet, to see him once again. But of course that could never be. Alayne Stone had no brothers, baseborn or otherwise." (AFFC, Alayne II).

Although she is meant to be assimilating into this Alayne Stone faux-identity, we see Sansa having the thoughts pertaining to the North, WF, home, Jon. Cracks beneath the surface where it is Sansa who had possessed that thought, who possessed that feeling, not Alayne. She will not allow Alayne to consume her. But it will be undoubtedly difficult, and only someone from the sweet memories of home and her childhood, perhaps a mirage, something that only existed as a conception rather than a fleshed out person. And I believe that is how Jon sees Sansa too. The reunion is where they will know each other deeply, intimately, truly. Down to the bones, inside out. And in regards to Sansa's reclaiming of identity, of the suppression of her own feelings and twisting of circumstance in order to cope with her trauma - Jon could help her there. It'd be a learning curve for both of them, as I said - mutual healing. But that doesn't that make it all the more beautiful?

These are two strong characters disguised by the author under shallow differences: Oppositional climates, but the same disillusioning experience. Assimilation into a different identity, but the same hold onto the "blood of Winterfell," the same strength drawn from rebuilding from the ashes. Opposite social standing parallels; quite literally living in each other's shoes, and reasserting that distant (fond) connection to each other despite it.

"Jon. said,"Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa." (ADWD, Jon IV).

"By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa." (ADWD, Jon I).

Despite being offered the chance of lordship, a family, love - everything Jon has ever truly wanted, he rejects it on this basis. He sets himself apart from the rest that have tainted Sansa, have clung to her like a vice, that don't allow her to exist in her truest self.

"I am a bastard too now, just like him." (AFFC, Alayne II).

And as we know, Sansa has been subconsciously (and then made the conscious assertion) modelling her Alayne Stone persona after Jon.

And you have that physical difference. At the beginning Sansa has a more inherent connection to the South (knights, chivalry, the faith, Tully appearance). Whereas Jon has a more inherent connection to the North (Night's Watch, Weirwood resembling Direwolf, old gods, northern features). Geographical opposites essentially experiencing similar disillusioning journeys. Jon learning that not all Night’s Watchmen are noble like Benjen, Sansa learning knights and princes and everything she has idolised as not as chivalric as she believes.

(But Sansa will find that true knight in Jon - it’s his unconventionality in appearance, a ‘black knight’ that has continuously upheld values Sansa believes in, and has fulfilled her wishes unknowingly, that leads me to this conclusion, but I digress.)

You can read more about this concept of parallel journeys here (there is some excellent analysis as early as 2012.

https://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?/topic/72119-from-pawn-to-player-rethinking-sansa-x/page/18/

So we have established cultural differences. Visually, it’s pretty obvious. Sansa is auburn-haired, blue eyed, beautiful. Jon is brown-haired, grey eyed, plainish?alongside the presentation of a traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine figure. GRRM has done this intentionally, he has made them as different as possible on the surface.

But both of these kids can be hotheaded, naive, a bit stuck up, and rather defensive and when it comes to what they idealise. (Let’s add snarky in there as well lol). You can pick up on this from their behaviour/actions/thoughts circa AGOT . And you know what ? I’m glad for such character flaws, it just makes them all the more compelling. But it makes them very similar.

Now as I’ve stated, it’s perhaps more difficult for readers to discern this if they’re not reading deeper than the surface level differences. it's easier for readers to consider them insignificant to each other personally and on narrative standpoint… because why would they give them any thought?? If they’re not consciously thinking of each other a lot, and there’s no on page interaction, then why should we care about analysing their relationship at all?

And well, many Jonsas will say ‘ah, you see that’s what makes them so very interesting’ you have to wonder why the author did not convey explicit on page interaction, or gave them much conscious thinking of each other. It’s not always about what the author includes but what the author omits. Even if a character says something that is…contradictory to their character. (Jon’s willowy creature line is self-contradictory because he’s shown on multiple occasions how much he actually appreciates gentle woman, and this boy is a romantic at heart). Can it perhaps be inferred that Jon says this because of repression. Because he’s a complex, fleshed out being who internalises and represses things he actually wants).

“He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade.” (ASOS Jon XII)

I mean, we even see Ned do this in his chapters. He doesn’t really think about Jon a whole lot, or the fact that Jon isn’t his biological son - but people infer that from the Lyanna references, ‘promise me’ the tower of joy etc etc it’s prettyyy clear that Ned is quite literally repressing that truth and has buried it away so it can never see light. It’s living tucked away in his long term memory, and not even the reader is privy to such thoughts. So if the author can do this for Ned, why not other characters?? Well, the thing is - he does. Because he instils complexity - he makes them raw and human. It’s why Sansa misremembers the events of Blackwater to cope, and Jon tries (and fails) to ignore every impulse to ride south and avenge his family.

But the thing is, people choose to be selectively blind and I'll say it, take things at face value. When you dig beneath the surface, that's when it all starts to make sense. And whew, you realise the potential.

But we know there is no malice between them. We know there is love in perpetuity albeit distant (but that does not lesson it). We know that Jon is not blind to Sansa's "radiant" beauty, we know that he appreciates her romanticism because he is romantic himself, we know that he associates her with softer imagery - singing, brushing out her wolf's fur, that she is appreciative of courtesy. We know that he protects her claim. Multiple times. We know that Sansa includes him in her prayers, that she empathises with him in the Night's Watch, that she models her bastard status after him and that she thinks of how utterly sweet it'd be to see him again, to be in his arms again (or maybe it'll be for the first time?

And then there is how they exist in this subconscious place. The compatible dreams of having a family.

"If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon... In Sansa's dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya." (ASOS, Sansa II).

"I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children.I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. " (ASOS, Jon XIII).

The blood of Winterfell (as I have previously discussed), the similar idealism, a steady belief in honour, in some goodness left in the world, the falling in love with people who are almost identical to each other (See Waymar being a more handsome version of Jon and Ygritte being a plainer version of Sansa), our beloved chapter transitioning with Jon never being far from Sansa's suitors, the unconscious answering of a hero, snow equated with security, home, Jon. "The Snow of Winterfell."

And of course there is that extra source material, there is the allusion to the inverse songs/stories, the ashford tourney and Jon's similarities with Valarr Targaryen, Jonnel 'One Eye' and Sansa Stark getting married.

The literary influence. The Pre-Raphaelite art, the Byronic influence, the just...sheer Bronte-esque I heard you from the other side of the realm and I shall find you even though the narrative is consistently against us... the human.heart.in.conflict.with.itself. William Faulkner.

I couldn't possibly compile every possible reference and discussion in this singular post, but here's what I can say: Jonsa compels me because of how much in line with the overarching theme of the narrative is . For hope to prevail despite all the darkness. A dream of spring. A dream of better futures, the taste of "innocence" and "dreams." I'm not expecting a fairytale ending, but I am expecting sweetness in some form. And the complexity that Jonsa would undoubtedly bring to the characters, to the audience, to the narrative cannot be understated. It's utterly profound and I believe that's why it is so threatening to the vast majority of the fandom.

It isn't just the human heart in conflict with those of Jon and Sansa, it is also the human heart in conflict with those of the audience. A Song Of Ice and Fire will never be easy on the reader, and when something this textually rich is built up, to then assume that the author has inserted all this in as mere coincidence severely discredits him as a writer. To assume that the author will go by the 'safest' option is disingenuous. To believe that this series will be like any other fantasy series is disingenuous. To believe that the author would go down the most conventional route to appease the general fandom is...disingenuous. I mean, this is the same guy who wrote the Red Wedding, to be clear. And that unpredictability and sheer subversiveness was clear from the first chapter. He is twisting fantasy on its head. He is twisting characters on their heads and everything we expect of them. And if people are this riled up by a theory well... I believe that is exactly what GRRM has intended.

TBB spoilers : Emerie, Omega, Nala Se

Episode 10 of The Bad Batch is fascinating. We're seeing Emerie Karr have a major identity crisis.

And I love it, because much of Emerie's feelings are contradictory, but they make sense in the ways that complicated emotions do.

Emerie is angry to see another child tested on like she was (and didn't seem to think much on it until she saw others being treated that way.)

Emerie is angry that Nala Se gave her away. We got hints of this in season 2, with Emerie's cold looks at Nala, and her disdainful surprise that Omega cared for Nala Se.

It's worth noting that earlier this season, Emerie compared her relationship between herself and Dr. Hemlock with that of Omega and Nala Se. Of course this struck such a discordant note with us since Nala Se is obviously not Dr. Hemlock, the former genuinely loves Omega, and Hemlock does not love Emerie.

Buuut.....After Omega escapes with Nala Se's very obvious help, it becomes clear to Emerie that Nala Se actually loves Omega.

AND EMERIE IS ANGRY ABOUT THAT! And I don't blame her. When she goes to Nala Se's cell, you can just feel that hurt and anger rolling off of her: Why did you abandon me, why did you love Omega but not me. Why wasn't I worth it?

So long as Emerie believed Nala Se was just like Dr. Hemlock, then Emerie could live at a sort of horrid peace that people use you if you're promising, and that's how the world is, and at least Dr. Hemlock finds her useful. But now she knows Omega was truly loved, and Dr. Hemlock doesn't love her.

That is a lot of juicy conflict. Nala Se offers Emerie no reasons for her actions, and perhaps she never will. But it's clear Nala Se doesn't want the children hurt either. But Nala Se is telling Emerie that she has the power to make change.

It's why Nala Se's last words to Emerie are "Don't you?"

And so we have a story of a mother and two daughters, one who is kept (the golden child), and the other who is given away. Omega wanted freedom, Emerie wanted to be protected and loved. I think Nala Se intended no ill will when giving Emerie away--she was an accelerated clone made with a purpose, and it's very likely that Nala Se had no idea she would end up with an evil man like Dr. Hemlock.

But Emerie needs to know she can have a home to go to, and that she has value. Emerie is angry that she wasn't protected, but now she needs to know she can be protective herself.

Nala Se needs to learn and SHOW BETTER, that she can value all her children, even if only one of them is her daughter per se.

The ghouls, but it's how I currently headcanon their personalities. Below the cut.

Aether: Overall, he's a giant goofball and loves a good night out with friends.

People tend to assign him a very "fatherly" role due to his appearance and his tendency to take care of his friends in little ways, but he certainly doesn't see that as strictly something a father, or any sort of guardian, would do.

Friends can take care of their friends and not be their parent!

That being said, if someone called him the "mom friend" he would wear it as a badge of honor, because that means his friends trust him.

Dewdrop: Comes off as a bit of a grump, though in an endearing sort of way.

Despite putting up a wall in front of others, when he's with his friends, he smiles easily and more often than he realizes. Very expressive when he's not trying to hide his emotions, and is known to be a bit of a crier when he's happy.

He's very used to people judging him based off of his appearance, for better or worse, so instead of dwelling on what others might think, he just does whatever he pleases.

Short hair, long hair, skirts, pants, dresses... The world is his oyster and he's here to tell people to "shuck" it.

Cumulus: Very independent and knows what she wants in life, actually getting it is another matter entirely.

She has a lot of interests and hobbies that she doesn't talk about a lot, because 1.) She's afraid people will judge her for them, and 2.) Sometimes enjoying something alone is the best way to experience it.

Due her her looks, she often finds herself being burdened with the problems of strangers who see her as easy to talk to/approachable, but this has lead to her learning a lot of... unfortunate/uncomfortable things about people she either just met or barely knows at all.

Although she's always happy to provide a listening ear to a person in need, she'd really rather just be able to eat her lunch in peace, thank you very much.

Sunshine: As curious and creative as the day is long.

She's always working on something new, be it music, art, or some other sort of craft, she's always got something in her hands... because, truthfully, she wouldn't know what to do with herself otherwise.

A very active, social creature, who feels the most alive around others, and when she's not? Well, that's why she has all those hobbies to keep her busy!

She has some self worth issues, and, if left alone for too long, will question whether or not she has value when she's not entertaining others.

A classic case of "Please check in on your funny friends." if there ever was one.

Swiss: Like if the weird uncle met another weird uncle and they got together and had a baby.

He's a charismatic sort who could light up a room with his smile alone... if only because they're so shiny. He's strange in cryptid sort of way, and, worse yet, he knows it.

Bold and adventurous, he's the sort that loves to take the lead, not for the fame or the glory, no. It's more so because he lives life by the rules of that one Cyndi Lauper song.

Ghouls just want to have fun, ya know?

However, in spite of this, he's not an extrovert. If anything, he's an introvert that's a bit too good at masking how much he's rather be at home right now. Ehn. C'est la vie.

Rain: Quiet, but not shy, no, and many a person has learned that the hard way.

Very fond of presenting himself as a demure, delicate gentlemanly sort, but he very much knows what he's doing when he's looking at you through his eyelashes and playing coy.

Still, there are times when his softer side is genuine, but that version of himself, the one that snorts when he laughs and gives the biggest, brightest smiles, is reserved for his friends.

He needs a lot of alone time, and it's clear when he hasn't gotten nearly enough.

When he's overwhelmed, he can be a bit abrasive, but he's always very open about when he's having a bad day or needs his space, so there's that at least.

Cirrus: The friend you go to when you've done something you don't want anyone else to know about, that helps you without asking too many questions.

The true ride or die.

A very blunt person who tells it like it is and doesn't sugarcoat things, even if a bit more tact would be appreciated.

She has a very broad sense of humor, and laughs easily at even the simplest of jokes, but, hey, farts are funny, okay?

Tends to be a bit bad at physically comforting others, and isn't sure how to initiate hugs.

Mountain: A lot of people see him as the calm, tranquil one, but he's also incredibly stubborn and uses beating the shit out of his drums as a healthy means of dealing with years of pent up frustrations and anger.

That's not to say he's always angry, but he does have a temper, and while he manages it well, he has been known to snap when pushed too far.

Very particular about who can be around him when he's having "quiet time" as some people have very different ideas of what that means.

Secretly thrives in chaos, and, because of this, is the perfect person to ask for help when shit has hit the fan.

Needs a nap, like, yesterday.

Aeon: Bright eyed and bushy tailed, and oh so ready to tear some shit up! But, also, like, only if that's okay? Please tell him it's okay.

No, really, he needs to be explicitly told he's allowed to do it.

He's confident in his skills as a musician, and he's not too worried about how he fits into the band, but socially? To be honest, he's not sure if he's doing anything right.

Has a bit of, "HEY, MOM! MOM! LOOK WHAT I'M DOING!" energy, but that's to be expected.

Not really a personality trait, but he can't say the word "macaroni" right.

Aurora: Like if the playlist you made when you were fourteen came back to haunt you as an adult, but in a good way?

She's so full of confidence and wonder, it's hard to believe that she can be so happy with everything going on in the world.

"Never a bad day." she'll say, even if the rain ruined her picnic, or someone's been mean to her.

Never a bad day.

Someone should really tell her it's okay to admit when something is wrong before squashing it all down causes her to break.

I've heard some stuff about Peni being closer to her comic iteration now, but what I find more interesting is her being lead into that direction, and the end of ATSV, her straying from that direction.

Think about it! The first time we her in the movie is her tired, depressed, and beaten down by the world around her. She was made to just accept that her trauma was just a necessary step to maintain canon and that it was simply something that had to happen. She simply had to suffer & stay in line to what canon had predetermined for her, just like everyone else

But spider society, and by extension, she herself was wrong. Miles very existence & the fact that he is spiderman proves Miguel wrong, everything in ITSV proves him wrong, and Miles having a positive influence on the entire spider groups lives proves Miguel wrong. Ironically in the first movie, despite the fact that Miles was never supposed to be spiderman, he was the one that stopped the collider and saved the multiverse.

Miguel view of canon is wrong because even ignoring everything I just said, the Spot isn't gonna stop if he kills Miles father. He's not gonna stop until either something is done about him, or the entire multiverse is ripped to shreds. Miguel and his followers plan on doing nothing and letting his father die for practically nothing, which goes against everything Spiderman stands for, that you shouldn't just stand around and do nothing. Despite Miguel technically being the closest to a spider due to weird experiment stuff and Miles being an anomaly, Miles embodies what it means to be Spiderman better than Miguel

Honestly, I will say that Miguel had gotten the closest to nearly killing the idea of Spiderman

And to get back to Peni, I think she, along with others, realized this. That being put through constant grief all for some canon that Miguel has flimsy proof on at best, is all for nothing. That she had abandoned her friend for nothing. They were vulnerable & racked with grief enough that they were practically manipulated into thinking that their pain & suffering, and by extension, other's pain & suffering, was something that had to happen and they just needed to suck it up, get over it, and stand by to let other Spiderman suffer for the greater good.

Which back to my point, is why I actually like the interpretation of her being lead to fill in her comic book self by the nature of the Spider Society, and being strayed away from that and snapped out of that mindset that needlessly suffering will somehow help others more. That the symbol of Spiderman revolved around endlessly suffering for no reason, even if it did nothing to help anyone. I believe that after the chase scene, she had to process that Miles "had" to suffer for no reason, and had to challenge the notion of what canon events even were and how Miguel's understanding of the concept falls apart like wet paper.

And by doing that, Peni broke away from what canon told her she had to be, and by extension, became something unique to herself away from her comic book iteration.

Peni, along with others, had learned that it's not what canon tells you that dictates your worth and value as a Spiderman, it's you and you alone

And she decided to embrace herself with a smile on her face

I love analyzing stuff! Please let me know your thoughts of this. I am open to constructive criticism. I just needed to word everything running in my brain!

just some analysing and theorising before lars' route drops — i'm thinking about how azure island routes reflect the awakening themes, while serving as foils to how awakening went down.

(spoilers for all awakening routes + lars white day, clarence godheim & eden)

in awakening: ayn's refusal, and perhaps inability, to relinquish his grasp on power; it is a lifeline he clings to, a desperate and necessary means to an end. the standstill and stalemate he and mc find themselves in, unable to do much but wait out the countdown to the day of action. his route ends on a cliffhanger, suspended at the crossroads; there is no resolution, no progress, no moving forward. in azure island: ayn and mc leave the relic of the past where it is meant to stay, as an enduring reminder of a bygone time, rather than bringing it into the present. they recognise that commemorating the past, and not trapping oneself within it, is what allows one to move forward with the flow of time. instead of a suffocating limitation, power is an empowering strength.

in awakening: alkaid acts on his own behind mc's back, for her sake. he deceives her, effectively disregarding and overriding whatever her wishes and values may be by not consulting her beforehand. his protective instincts are so overwhelming that it veers into an implicit distrust of her abilities; he must go to extreme lengths to keep her safe, else he risks her getting hurt if left to her own devices. he fears that she may not love all of him, may shun the darker parts of him, so he hides behind a mask crafted to be liked. in azure island: alkaid still yearns to protect mc, but he upholds her agency and autonomy above all else. he recognises that there are places he cannot follow her to, and actions he cannot take on her behalf; sometimes the best way to protect her is to let her venture off alone, trusting in her ability to defend herself, and wait in the wings for the moment he is needed. he learns to trust that she accepts and loves him as he is, in the same way that she shares the full truth with him, allowing them to fall in sync on the same open wavelength.

so i’m thinking about the name of lars’ route — a trip to central america — and how his awakening route was also a trip, in a way. through the waterways, in the simulation, and through space, outside of it. both are journeys he has no choice but to undertake alone; even though he is accompanied by the navigator, she is a mere facsimile that can only imitate companionship, never truly replicating it. the untraversable distance between lars and the kidnapped mc, as well as lars and the navigator, meant that he had to put himself through the wringer in a futile attempt to close the gap. it makes me think of lars’ white day route, too — how he had no choice but to wait alone, mired in worry and anxiety, while mc journeyed across time and space on her own. perhaps his azure island route will demonstrate the progression in their relationship by having them journey together, for a change; they may have different purposes and goals in life, but they can walk their paths together, working in tandem rather than only watching and waiting from afar. instead of seeking answers themselves, they will give each other certainty, a mutual support as they traverse what their shared future holds.

as for clarence — glacier memories — i wonder if his route will expand upon what unfolded in his white day route, namely the part where he learned about the archmage. there are so many parallels between his awakening route and his godheim one — deliberately hurting themselves in an attempt to seek the truth of their own nature, as well as willingly subjecting themselves to an indefinite solitude and a potential eternity of waiting in order to protect the worlds they hold dear. perhaps learning more about his godheim counterpart might spur an epiphany — that merely treating himself as a tool whose worth is defined by its function, a mere means to an envisioned end, will ultimately bring sorrow to the very people he sacrifices himself for. i’m also thinking about the falcon — though of course there aren’t any glaciers in eden, but memories (and the loss of them) are a reoccurring theme in both eden and awakening. in eden, the way clarence's memory slowly starts to fail him as he gradually loses his grasp on his humanity, faltering towards the monstrous lost side within him; in awakening, the way his memories give his android selves a semblance of humanity, and how they allow his cyborg self to retain what makes him human. memories allow clarence to have a concept of the self, to safeguard his goals and sustain his motivations. while he still embodies certain enduring traits, modern world clarence is significantly more well-adjusted than his counterparts — so perhaps seeing the loneliness and the suffering of his counterparts may nudge him away from treading the same path, and towards one of sharing the weight of his worries with mc rather than bearing the burden solely on his own shoulders.

cael… is cael, which makes him that much more difficult to theorise about, but "forget-me-not” makes me think of what unfolded in his awakening route — how someone’s story, someone’s love, can live on through the telling and retelling of folktales. yet, also, how holding on to a memory can warp one’s perception and one’s emotions. just like how darya wound up twisted by her painful memories of the past, trapped in the longing for a time she can never return to. “time can never turn back, my lover can never return, the river does not flow back to the source. only i still remember, these joys and sorrows.” perhaps, sometimes, remembering causes more suffering than forgetting. perhaps one must learn to bid farewell to the past, to come to terms with what has been lost, in order to truly live. just as the white city and all that it stood for will slowly be lost to the sands of time, so too will their world — but perhaps there is freedom in forgetting, and a poignance to rediscovering bygone memories further down the road. and perhaps, by allowing some memories to fade, the ones that are more precious, more deeply cherished, will have the space to linger longer.

Analysing my favourite lines from Six of Crows chapter by chapter: Chapter 4

Same as usual: famous or popular quotes being missed doesn't mean I don't like them it just means I don't have anything new to say, and some quotes will not have explanations because I just like them I don't really have anything to analyse

“Inej knew the moment Kaz entered the Slat” - first of all I think it’s relevant that this is our second chapter from Inej’s POV and both of them have begun with the focus entirely on Kaz, the first one being the infamous “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, which she immediately disproves to be factual and instead shows as something created by the opinion of the many who don’t really know Kaz and disputed by the few, herself included, who do. To some extent it’s possible that the same action is being completed with this introduction, since it’s actually less about Inej being aware of Kaz’s presence than it is about her being aware of the Dregs’ acknowledgment of him. Secondly I find it an interesting parallel between the pair, that Kaz recognises Inej’s presence despite no-one else knowing she’s there whilst Inej recognises Ka’s presence because everyone knows he’s there. This not only summarises their drives, for Inej to melt into the background and stop being noticed for her physical appearance and instead valued for her skills, and for Kaz to be seen, to rise to prominence, and to be noticed by Pekka Rollins, but also tells us about their particular gifts for reading people. Kaz reads individuals incredibly well, he explains this in many of his quotes about lock picking and blackmail and we also get the brilliant idea of the way he notices everything about a person down to their scent and the story that their scent tells (I’ve written before about the relevance of him being bothered by the fact that Inej doesn’t have a scent but in the Bathroom Scene he comments on how he can smell soap on her), he sees small details, tells, and nervous ticks and these things give him a massive advantage in the control he exercises over individuals. Inej reads crowds, she sees collective responses to people, events, or objects and uses that response to evaluate the thing that caused it, she doesn’t notice tells until Kaz suggests she looks out for them but she is able to very quickly assess Kaz’s chances of success, and how quickly those chances change, when he faces the Dregs at the Slat and leads a coup against Per Haskell in Crooked Kingdom.

“The worst part of the Barrel […] Most of the buildings in this part of the city had been built without foundations, many on swampy land where the canals were haphazardly dug. They leaned against each other like tipsy friends gathering at a bar, tilting at drowsy angles” - I love the description, I love the imagery, I have a deep obsession with worldbuilding… this is just great, like I don’t really know that’s there’s anything to say it’s just great

“Inej’s room was on the third floor, a skinny slice if space, barely big enough for a cot and a trunk. But with a window that looked out over the leaked roofs and jumbled chimneys of the Barrel. When the wind came through and cleared away the haze of coal smoke that hung over the city, she could even make out a blue pocket of harbour” - ok first of all I’m obsessed with the imagery and the description, and second of all I’m actually just going to copy and paste a post I made a while ago about the window because I find it an incredibly important detail for Inej and I think this is worth saying again:

‘I find it really interesting that Inej’s favourite part about her room at the Slat, despite it being “barely big enough to fit a cot”, is that she has her own window. I think this is important not only because all the windows at the Menagerie were barred, but also because the whole idea of a window is representative of the difference between her life in Ravka and her life in Kerch. Travelling through Ravka, she had no need or want of a window because she was part of and at one with the outdoor world, free to explore it and enjoy it as she saw fit, but in Ketterdam windows and rooftops are her way of travelling the city. They bring her a source of hope and connection to the life she lost whilst simultaneously being her method of completing jobs for the Dregs to slowly claw her back to that very life. So in a way, the window has become a physical manifestation of both a veil of separation between her and everything she’s ever loved or cared for, a literal sheet of glass between her and her world, and of a hope for salvation to return to that love and care.’

“If you had a gripe, you settled it outside where you didn’t risk interrupting the hallowed practice of separating pigeons from their money” - I love this quote so much but I also think it could be interpreted as quite sarcastic on Inej’s part; she talks a lot about how “nothing [is] sacred to the Kerch except trade” and finds a lot of their traditions baffling since their cultural attitude and religious attitude are both so different to the ones she was raised in. This could be seen as a subtle undermining of the culture that abused her whilst appropriating her own culture of peace, which is of course deeply ironic of them, and also reflective of the battle constantly waging inside her over the morality of her surroundings and the core moral code she knows she has broken and will continue to break because circumstance has left her no other choices - possibly linking to the way she specifically considers more fear of her parents not forgiving the actions she’s taken since leaving the Menagerie than what she was forced to do whilst imprisoned there

“I didn’t hurt you none. It was just words” - this is Rojax’s response to Inej punching him in the face whilst wearing brass knuckles after he insulted her, demanded money that neither she nor the gang owed him, and then tried to grab her collar. Now ignoring the money since to be fair we don’t know how much he stole and how much his pay cheque should have been so we don’t know if it evens out or not, the important thing here is that Rojax fails to identify his ability to do Inej damage by calling her “little girl” (words Tante Heleen weaponised against her), referring to her as though she’s Kaz’s property, and threatening violence towards her. I don’t think Rojax meant to affect Inej in the way he surely did, but I do think it shows so well that there’s a massive lack of understanding in the Barrel for the kind of pain that people like Inej have experienced and carry with them, especially since she herself comments on the way even though she hid the scar from her Menagerie tattoo “they all knew it was there”. I how this makes sense I’m not sure if I’ve articulated it quite right

“People were watching now, so she hit him again”

“It would’ve been easy enough to turn away when they called her names or sidled up and asked for a cuddle, but do that and soon it was a hand up your blouse or a try at you against a wall” - this again emphasises that there’s no real acknowledgment of Inej’s experience as traumatic but almost as intriguing or even erotic, and it reminds the reader of the rampant misogyny that travels through the Barrel not only in the dehumanising treatment of women and children in the pleasure houses but also in the cultural attitude as a whole. Although no-one sees Inej as a less threatening force because of her sex, it’s undeniable that the Barrel sees women as something to be conquered or won, and we also see this reflected by the upper classes in the attitudes of merchants and in Van Eck’s marriages.

“Nothing was sacred to the Kerch except trade” - laughing at myself because when I talked about it earlier I didn’t realise this quote was in this chapter

“Inej like Rojax, but right now he was just a frightened man looking to feel bigger than someone”

“Still clutching his cheek like a stunned toddler”

‘ “You look exhausted. Will you sleep at all tonight?”

Jesper just winked.

“Not while the cards are hot. Stay and play a bit, Kaz will stake you”

“Really, Jesper?” she’d said, pulling up her hood, “If I wanna watch men dig holes to fall into I’ll find myself a cemetery”

“Come on, Inej!” He’d called after her as she passed through the big double doors onto the street, “You’re good luck!”

Saints, she’d thought, if he believe that he really must be desperate. She’d left her luck behind in a Suli camp on the shores of West Ravka. She doubted she’d see either again” ’ - this conversation is so important in developing the reader’s baseline understanding for Jesper’s situation and addiction, and it’s not something I see people talk about a lot. Other than Kaz staking him and Jesper calling himself “a creature of habit”, this is the first concession to Jesper’s gambling “habit” being a genuine and debilitating addiction, and I think it’s important for us as the reader to so early on see that Inej, someone whose opinion Jesper so highly valued and someone he is evidently so close to, is unable to talk Jesper out of the card game - in fact the entire conversation to me gives the air of there having been many previous conversations where she tried and this one being one of many following where she’s all but given up. She expresses her opinion on the situation with the beautiful cemetery line, she directly confronts him in the issue by asking if he’s going to sleep tonight, and doesn’t hold back on pointing out that the addiction is having a physical impact on his health by saying that he looks exhausted, but she doesn’t make active strides to pull him away from the game. I think Inej has reached a point where she accepts that it isn’t her job to try and fix the people she cares about, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to. She desperately needs Jesper to hear what she means through what she’s saying, and if he isn’t going to then she cannot stand by and helplessly watch his self-destruction. Jesper on the other hand seems to seek support in her and her presence because of his fears surrounding failure and not being cared for by others as much as he cares for them; he knows Inej leaves because she can’t help him and can’t watch him, and he knows that her trying to help him would make little long term difference as he explains in Crooked Kingdom when talking directly about his addiction, but that doesn’t mean that the cruel, self-destructive, disparaging part of him isn’t taunting him with the idea that she’s leaving because she doesn’t care about him and because she doesn’t want to help him, and that fear/pain only makes him feel more hollow and only makes him need to play more. Again I hope this makes sense it’s starting to feel like I’m just rambling

“Inej moved aside a bucketful of cleaning supplies that she’d placed there precisely because she knew no-one in the Slat would ever touch it” - I couldn’t cope in the Barrel. There’s no way I could cope with the fighting anyway, but if I by some miracle survived it would only be for the general lack of cleanliness to finish me off

' "This place is like anything in Ketterdam. It leaks,"

Inej could've sworn he looked directly at the vent when he said it. ' - I love this so much because Kaz never mentions anything about this himself but it just so fluidly becomes part of the way he's always aware of her presence. There's also never any surprise at meeting her right outside the closet she's hiding in immediately after the conversation with Haskell so I think we get the idea that's quite routine, and it begins more and more to introduce us to this quiet dependence Kaz and Inej have on each other without addressing it; there are so many things that they each know the others does but never mention, and I think generally speaking they both know that the other knows as well but their ease with one another doesn't require voicing it aloud - if anything it may even rely on keeping it silent, since neither of them are in a position yet where they can admit to themselves the need to rely on someone/the care they feel towards each other.

"You're smart Brekker, but you need to learn patience," - this line always catches me out a little, but I think it's actually just giving us another hint to the extent of disconnect Haskell has from the real experiences of his gang members. We already know Kaz to be a patient character at least in some of the situations we've seen so far, and he goes on to prove himself as immensely and genius-ly (I have no idea what the real word for that is, work with me) patient in his processes and his plans - particularly in Crooked Kingdom when he explains that "you don't win by playing one game". Remember it's in chapter TWO of Crooked Kingdom the Kaz puts the plan to hand Wylan his father's fortune into motion, we just don't know it until after the auction for Kuwei's indenture. Kaz does have a quote somewhere about how too many people aren't patient enough in committing crimes and that's how they end up making mistakes but I can't remember it exactly (I'm working off my audiobook at the minute so I can't flick through and find it), if any one knows it feel free to comment it because it's a great quote and a really interesting reference for this! My point here is that we know Kaz is a very patient person yet Haskell, someone who would appear on the surface to work so closely with him, is accusing him for a lack of it. Because realistically, Haskell has no idea of the everyday workings of the gang or anything of the scope of work Kaz puts into it, and I htink this is just another of the many unsavoury characters building hints we have to encourage the reader to develop an immediate disliking for Per Haskell in this scene.

"But you'll get your twenty percent" - it took me a while to actually think about the money and why the total is 30 million but the main six characters are only getting 4 million kruge each because honestly I won't lie it just didn't occur to me to actually think about the maths. Like I was vaguely aware that didn't add up but I didn't really think about it. But let's talk, because 30 million kruge split between 6 crew members should have meant each character receiving 5 million kruge each (30/6=5). But Per Haskell is owed 20% of any money that the Dregs earn, so he's taking some of the money. On the surface, does 20% seem like an unfair margin? Probably not, considering that theoretically the Dregs members owe him money, live at the Slat seemingly rent free, and are his employees in a business taht has to make money somehow. Personally I odn't think it's a great business model, but I literally know noting about business and also that's not really the point right now. The point is that on the surface 20% doesn't sound wholly unreasonable, and it doesn't sound unreasonable in this conversation. It's not until later, when Kaz offers Inej and Nina 4 million kruge to join the Ice Court Heist that it really occurs to us that they're kind of getting screwed over. Because 20% of 30 million kruge is 6 million kruge. SIX. This man is about to make 2 million more kruge by sitting around in Ketterdam playing with a ship in a bottle than any of our main characters are about to make for nearly dying a thousand times over and successfully infiltrating the Ice Court. What is interesting to me is how the decision of the money is made, because it seems that we're regarding it as if the income is solely Kaz's so he's paying Haskell is twenty percent then choosing to split the remainder between his crew, which seems to make sense since he was the one who was approached for the deal and the one who was offered the money. But if the money had been offered to hte six of them, the financial implications could have been far more complex. Wylan and Matthias aren't members of the dregs, so they would have no need to lose 20% of their income. They would each take 5 million, whilst the other four took 4 million and gave Haskell 1 million from each of their hauls. SO HASKELL WOULD STILL MAKE EQUAL TO THEM. Wylan and Matthias would come out marginally richer than the others, which neither of them were particularly bothered about anyway, and Haskell would still have done nothing and successfully screwed over Kaz and the other Dregs members. And I'm not saying they would've gone for that, because I don't doubt that Wylan and Matthias would have suggested splitting the income the way they do in the book anyway, but I'm saying it's so important that ultimately the person winning here is always Per Haskell. But what's really interesting about Kaz is that not only does he never question the suggestion of splitting the money evenly when he could have easily claimed more for himself as the person who made the deal nad hired on the others, effectively putting himself in Haskell's position except with more involvement, but even when he cuts Haskell out of the business he keeps none of the 6 million kruge for himself, instead splitting it between Rotty and Specht for their smaller roles in the Ice Court Heist. Kaz represents so many things that Per Haskell doesn't, and in that way he comes to represent key things that Pekka Rollins isn't as well, since the book makes strides to show Haskell and Rollins as effectively representative for all the gang leaders. Even though Rollins appears far more involved and on the ball than Haskell, when Inej attacks him in the final chapter of Crooked Kingdom he is forced to question the last time he "felt real pain" since no-one dared to actually fight him any more. I really hope this makes sense because it's very rambly and I'm starting to think I just explained fairly straight forward maths for no real reason.

"Rich as Saints in crowns of gold" - ok I love this because it shows us so much of what Kaz, or if we assume this is a common saying then the Kerch or just citizens of the Barrel, think of the Saints and of religious iconography. We know from the King of Scars duology, the Lives of Saints, and probably to some extent Shadow and Bone that the Saints' lives were not ones of riches, fame, or power, but Kaz exercises this idea of people turning themselves into religious icons for crude, financial purposes. I actually wonder if the way he views them is a kin to the way I've talked about viewing Jarl Brum as a reader, and I think that it's really important to hear this from Inej's perspective because we're already heightened to such an opposite idea by the overall style and tone of the chapter.

"And why Pim? The thought shamed her a bit. She could almost hear her father's voice: So eager to be the queen of thieves, Inej. It was one thing to do her job and do it well, it was quite another to want to succeed at it. She didn't want a permanent place with the Dregs, she wanted to pay off her debts and be free of Ketterdam forever, so why should she care if Kaz chose Pim to run the gang in his absence? Because I'm smarter than Pim," - First of all shout out to the Inej narrator of the soc audiobook because she nailed the intonation of "I'm smarter than Pim" I love it. Second of all we get this really interesting implication of Inej's moral code here, because as I've talked about before her morality is incredibly important to her and the necessity of crossing that line to survive has wreaked havoc on her emotional and probably mental states. She sees a clear distinction between doing what she has to in order to survive and enjoying what she does and I think this is possibly her 'new' moral code to cope with the inability to control her life and stick to what she considers her core moral values.

' "What would you say to 4 million kruge?"

"Money like that is more curse than gift,"

"My little Suli idealist. All you need is a full belly and an open road," he said, the mockery clear in his voice.

"And an easy heart, Kaz"

That was the difficult part. '

"We'll be kings and queen, Inej. Kings and queens,"

"Kaz was not a giddy boy smiling and making future plans her. He was a dangerous player who was always working an angle. Always."

' "I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night,"

"Wylan? If this is for a big job..."

"Just do it," ' - Inej throws so much shade on Wylan early in six of crows and I always seem to forget and then be caught off guard when she's just complaining to Kaz that he's useless and Wylan's like '... I'm right here,'

"One moment he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder,"

' "Fence it,"

"Whose is it?"

"Ours now," ' - I shouldn't find this romantic, should I?

"Move the DeKappel we lifted from Van Eck's house into the vault. I think it's rolled up under my bed," - pleaseeeeee he doesn't even have the painting up, the audacity in this boy know no bounds. I talked a lot about the DeKappel when I was writing about the last chapter so I'm not going to detail it here, but everything about it makes me so happy

"Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won't you do me the honour of acquiring me a new hat?" - first of yesssssssssss we love, and secondly I wrote a whole thing about Kaz using sarcasm as a defence mechanism and the complexity of his inability to express emotions a while ago with particular focus on this quote and a few others so if you want to you can find that on my page or I might be able to tag people on it or whatever if you can't find it because it was some time ago now

' Inej cast a meaningful glance at his cane.

"Have a long trip down," she siad, then leapt onto the bannister sliding from one floor to the next, slick as butter in a pan. '

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed and that my scattered thoughts made at least some sense <3

In regards to marcy finding her niche…well forgive me for being cynical, but I don’t think she has one. Both Anne and Sasha found their niches in Amphibia, but Marcy couldn’t. And it wasn’t a lack of trying either, as seen with new wartwood and the journal. If she couldn’t make friends in Amphibia, I don’t think could on earth.

You're also gonna have to forgive me for being an obnoxious optimist (it's a result of hitting rock bottom multiple times and somehow still gettin thru things), but I like to imagine things get better for Marcy after Amphibia!

I know her story wasn't well executed in the show, but I really do feel the idea of Amphibia's end being the true start of her journey makes sense to me. Marcy's biggest struggle was finding security in her identity outside of other people, hence her deep fear of being alone (if I have no one, who am I?) and her need to gain approval (if I'm useful people will stay).

The problem with this is by doing this she created a structure of self-identification that relied on her eschewing her sense of self in favour of, in essence, making herself lesser for others. She flattened herself to be the smart one, the mediator, Master Marcy of Newtopia, etc. All are identities inherently created to be someone for someone else. Needless to say the loss of these relationships, perceived or in reality, is a world shattering event because she loses not just the relationship but herself.

In Marcy's mind, for good reason mind you, people don't want her for HER. They want her for what she gives them, thus she moulds and contorts herself to be who THEY want, losing herself in the process, becoming less a person and more thing for them to use.

I think this is the message her experiences in the Core were MEANT to convey; Marcy's feelings toward Anne and Sasha were absolutely founded in reality—they neglected her when she tried to express her true self—but she also needed to learn that people will love her for her, as the holistic, flawed, true Marcy that she is. In the end Marcy needed to value herself as much in order for that relationship to ever succeed.

Obviously this could've been executed MUCH better, maybe with more emphasis on people expressing that they loved Marcy for who she was rather than what she did, but I guess that's what fanfics for, eh?

With all this in mind though, this is why I think post-Amphibia Marcy would've found a niche for herself. She's learned that she's loved beyond her acts of service for others. She doesn't need to earn people's love, she is valued and loved because she's Marcy Wu, plain and simple, proven by Anne and Sasha coming back for her (altho this could've been done better as well, ie an earlier attempt to rescue Marcy, but I do think the overall intention was there story wise). Taking this to heart I think she'd find people who share her interests and be able to interact with them in a healthy manner, meeting them as equals and not as a tool to be used. This self-respect, understanding her value and viewing herself as an equal in her relationships, is the door to finding and thriving in new friend groups outside of Anne and Sasha.

I think this is where her guarded nature would develop. She understands her self-worth, and therefore would protect herself from people who might want to exploit her again (ANDRI-ASS looking at u), but I do think she'd get to a point where she'd know when to open up.

I understand a more cynical take for sure! Looking at how she was treated in the show that's absolutely an interpretation that could come from it. Personally, as a big sap at heart, I like to imagine a future where she's happy.

Source: I spent 23+ years viewing myself in a very similar manner and project onto Marcy perhaps a bit more than is healthy

I watched Sarcastic Chorus’s video on if “Unhappy Campers” fixed Millie or not, and I really liked it, because it actually brought up the giant elephant in the room that the fandom won’t acknowledge. While this episode certainly does have Millie in it and we actually get to see her vulnerable about herself for once, she still was attached to Moxxie, and at the end of the day, he was the one who got more focus, with the episodes plot being more about him and his journey.

It was Moxxie who was put in charge of the investigation and planned for him and Millie to dress up as brother and sister to eliminate suspects. It was Moxxie who wanted to show his worth to Blitz in that he could handle a job. It was Moxxie who tried to bond with the kids but ended up being made fun of and making him insecure. It was Moxxie who ended up getting jealous at Millie for all the fame but couldn’t snag the attention no matter how he tried, and also couldn’t find the suspect. It was Moxxie who ended up snapping at her, but needed to realize in the end that he was a being a dick. It was Moxxie who had the character focus and growth to change his actions at the end of the episode.

—-

Millie for the most part, did what she always did, stood by at Moxxie’s side and supported him. She may have finally got a song, but most of it was fluff and just animation eye candy, showing off her skills, something the audience already knew she was good at. I don’t think fans realize this, but the argument scene she has with Moxxie is legit the ONLY scene in the entire episode where she’s in the spotlight that actually has to do with her character, because the rest was focused on Moxxie at the front. Not that there’s something entirely wrong with that, but it is the bare minimum, especially since what fans want is her to be purely the focus and not just trotting along with another character.

Her feeling happy for once that others aren’t screaming in agony at her is one thing, it could actually make sense and I wouldn’t find it hard to believe, however as everyone else keeps saying, her randomly spewing about how she finally feels like she’s important and “something to be proud of” makes no sense within the narrative, because Millie has always been a strong killing machine, painted as a really good assassin with her family, Blitz, AND Moxxie praising her. She legit has no reason to feel like she isn’t important or something to not be proud of, because she’s always been portrayed as really strong, saving Moxxie millions of times and helping the IMP gang out. And for all the audience has seen and knows, she’s very happy go lucky and loves her job, her co workers, and her family, so this small bit of character exploration feels half assed, unearned, and not thought through.

__

Finally, the most funny thing about this episode is that Moxxie needs to learn to let Millie shine since she always supports him, and yet the writers struggle with that themselves. Even when Millie finally does have her “big moment” that she was talking about, it’s just an anime montage of her doing stunts and playing the guitar, while the ACTUAL plot of Moxxie trying to kill the target and fighting Barbie is going on at the front, and even ends with the target dying before cutting back to hell later. Millie doesn’t even get any lines, how nice would it have been to see more…like what if she felt bad for her fans since she’s never coming back, or what if she looks through the pictures of her phone of the camp friends she made and wishes she still had that? Feeling sentimental? For Pete’s sake, you’d think after spewing about how much she feels like she isn’t valued, Blitz and Moxxie would confront her in the end and we’d have some heart felt scene of them reassuring her they care and her deciding to be more open. We get none of that, it’s not only wrapped up so quickly, but ends with Moxxie himself, getting the credit from Blitz he wanted, only to end on an unfunny joke of Blitz calling him a disgrace before the credits roll, so we legit close out on Moxxie and Blitz instead of Millie herself.

Putting the bad writing aside, “Unhappy Campers” definitely didn’t fix Millie’s lack of depth and focus, but I would say it’s a small start, wether the writing is dog shit or not, and wether we had to wait this damn long for crumbs or not. At the end of the day, this episode in my opinion opens more of a door to more potential on actually fleshing Millie out….but I do have my doubts, as not only do we have to wait until season 3 for Millie to get the focus again, but Viv and Adam really do make it clear that they have no idea on how to flesh Millie out without attaching her to Moxxie, since the upcoming ghost demon episode has her trying to off herself because she feels like she’s holding him back and a bad wife. I’d say I hope she gets more in the future, but I’m done believing in Viv and Adam. For Millie to work, I feel like she just needs new writers man, cause these writers clearly don’t care for her enough to put the work in and flesh her out and focus on her, bc they suffer from biased favoritism regarding the other characters. Millie will always deserve better and I honestly don’t think it’ll get better for her from here on out. Someone take the rights for her out of Viv and Adam’s grasp and give her the attention and development she deserves lol.