#Billie Dean Howard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stayevildarling · 2 days

Note

Hi, I know you might be a little busy, so no rush. I wanted to ask you for a Cordelia x Wilhemina x Billie x Reader, where Reader after a run-in with witch hunters gets hurt and tries to hide it from her girlfriends, as she has always known how to take care of herself, but she may get sick at night and the girls trying to find out what's wrong with her discover the wound, a bit of angst with fluff at the end.

Thank you.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Born to Die

A/N: I have no way of prioritising my requests at this point but I got this a little while ago and I just had to considering the angst 😩 special mention and thanks to @stepintomyworld who encouraged me to add more of the reader comforting the characters in this one 🫶🏻

word count: 8k

tw: mention of blood, mention of violence, mention of anxiety, angst

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson, @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

It had been a normal day so far, any normal weekend day at the academy really, most witches having gone to their families or doing some kind of activities outside of the coven, Billie, Cordelia and Wilhemina finally off work and enjoying the company of each other including you. Considering it was Saturday, you had been working in the greenhouse for a while, working on some spells and potions, preparing a class that was due teaching the following Monday.

Cordelia had been so incredibly busy, as well as the other two that you decided to head to the markets for her, despite Wilhemina and Billie offering the same but you always wanted to make sure that you took as much as possible off their busy plates. You couldn't begin to imagine how stressful it must be to be either of them. Billie constantly under the pressure of filming her show, chasing spirits and ghosts away. Despite her often joking about it and talking about the fun bits, you knew all too well about the deadlines that kept her up at night, as well as her high expectations of herself, as she always wanted to make her viewers happy. Let alone the spirits that would haunt her at night and visited her in her dreams and so it was a no brainer to help Billie out whenever you could.

The same with Cordelia, you knew how exhausting it must be to be the supreme, most powerful witch, the whole pressure of looking after every single one of her girls and the academy always heavy on her shoulders. And you knew that she also had some very high expectations, knowing that her mother often still haunted her and wanting so hard not to be like her and make the coven the place that she had always wanted. And so you couldn't help but take as many classes as possible off her plate, to the point where she wasn't part of the schedule anymore, and only taught occasionally whenever she felt like it or had some quiet time. In the evenings and afternoons, you would often help the supreme with anything that needed attending to, new applications, looking after some newcomers, anything to ease the weight of her responsibilities.

And at last you knew Wilhemina was no different, her career that she cared about so very deeply, having fought herself to the position she is in today. And despite her demeanour and her the one usually more quiet about those sort of things, you could tell how exhausting it must be at times, given her two idiot bosses that she would occasionally mention when talking about work, which was quite rare. And you knew about her expectations as well, wanting to be there for you three with all her heart, nothing ever too much for her. And in the process she often forgot to give herself that same kindness, gentleness and love. But you had taken that part a long time ago, knowing how exhausting the toll of Wilhemina's back was for her. And you always made sure to be a helping hand, as she would often find you being the one to schedule her doctors appointments, pick up her medication, prepare meals or baths for her. And she was reluctant at first, having only trusted Cordelia with those tasks so far, considering their dynamic and deep trust. But the one day she found out that you had taken over, she didn't even question it and ever since she would always show her appreciation through the love flickering in her eyes whenever they met yours. And that was all the thank yous that you had needed.

Your daydreaming comes to an abrupt stop, when you suddenly notice a shift around you. You had been done with all the stops, going from stall to stall and one shop with the list that Cordelia had given you, the weather had been lovely, warm as the sun was shining down on you, even causing you to take your cardigan off with the heat. However, as you walk down the long road towards the coven, it suddenly begins pouring down with rain, the sky filled with bright lightening and the sound of thunder startling you. And you could tell, somehow feeling it in your bones that something was off. You didn't have Cordelia's supreme senses but somehow you could always tell when something wasn't right, especially given the dramatic change in weather. As you stop walking for a moment, holding onto the shopping bags, you glance behind you, the pouring rain making it a little hard to see, but you wanted to check if there was some sort of danger as your body felt an odd sense of doom lurking nearby.

And out of the corner of your eyes, despite the pouring rain, you can see something. Your heart instantly stopping in your chest as you notice three dark shadows. Instantly your senses kick in as you think about what to do. It dawns on you that you had the strange feeling of being followed around the markets but you had brushed it off, maybe even foolishly. And then panic sets in as you decide what to do, should you run? maybe even teleport back to the academy? but at the same time you knew if you did that you would take them straight to the coven. And Cordelia had taught you all enough about the dangers that the academy faced at times that you for sure knew taking them there was an awful idea. But you couldn't think straight for a moment as your lungs force out some ragged breaths. And so you decide to cross the street, walking in the opposite direction, towards some crowds and people again, despite the heavy rain. Your hands were too full to call Cordelia and so the only thing you could do was close your eyes and focus on your magic without making it too obvious.

,,Cordelia?'' the supreme sits in her office, her eyes widening when she hears your voice in her head, the two of you mastering the ability of telepathy at this point as Cordelia had taught you a few years ago, a tool that would certainly come in handy now. As she balances on her feet, her movements rushed, Billie Dean is startled a little as the two of them had been talking in the supremes office, catching up about each other's week. ,,What is it?'' Billie asks, nervously, trying to read the blondes face. ,,Y/N, are you okay?'' she asks, closing her eyes as she sends the message to you. And as you hear her words repeat in your head, you doubt whether this was a good idea, whether getting them involved would even be smart and whether you might simply be paranoid. But as you turn around, the black shadows appear bigger, now only a few steps away from you, despite your best efforts. ,,Something is wrong, someone is following me'' you quickly think, sending a rush of adrenaline and panic across the blondes features yet again. ,,Where are you?'' she tries but you can't concentrate as the shadows grow even closer, the rain making it hard to walk, breathe or think as of right now.

And as Billie looks up at the supreme, she suddenly is left in shock as the blonde vanishes before her own eyes, knowing that she must have teleported somewhere but in utter horror and shock at the scene that unfolded and the lack of information she had on what was going on. As your breathing becomes more panicked, you suddenly stop as Cordelia appears in front of you, your eyes already brimming with tears. She stands in front of you, her gaze focused on you before she notices three men approach, almost reaching you two before she is quick to hold onto you, teleporting you both away from danger. ,,Wilhemina?'' Billie's voice rings through the quiet academy in the meantime. ,,Wilhemina?'' she tries again, the panic very noticeable in her voice and features. The redhead was currently sitting in her office, working through some last minute project when she hears her girlfriends voice in the hallway. And by the second time her name is called, she could tell something was off. And so she is quick to balance on her cane before finding a visibly shaken medium in front of her door.

,,What is it?'' she asks, her features stern, hiding her own concern. ,,It's Y/N and Cordelia'' Billie announces before they are startled with a noise coming from the supremes office. Billie's breath hitches as she makes her way over, Wilhemina following behind quickly, her cane echoing loudly through the quiet academy. As they approach the office, they find both you and the supreme there, you dropping the shopping bags, your clothes and face drenched with water from the pouring rain, your breathing hitching and Cordelia's worried expression. ,,What is going on?'' Wilhemina asks, her voice now matching Billie's hysteria from moments before. But you can't breathe yet and so you stand there frozen, pathetically trying to get your lungs to work, while Cordelia takes your cheeks into her hands, cupping them gently, wanting to coax you out of this so you could speak and fill them in.

It takes a few minutes before you manage to breathe and when you do the realisation that Cordelia had teleported you back ripples through you. ,,I.. I was at the markets and everything was fine but then it started thundering- and raining'' you begin, trying to focus to provide them with as much details as possible. ,,Men.. there were three men following me'' you finally speak. Billie and Wilhemina's faces change from concern to confusion, trying to understand your words. ,,It's fine darling, you are okay, you are home safe'' Cordelia tries, not understanding the full effects of the looming danger yet, Billie and Wilhemina equally confused but the redhead knowing you so well by now that she could tell there was something else on your mind. ,,What is it little one?'' she asks, as Cordelia instructs you to sit, your breathing again coming out hitched and panicked. ,,Witch- hunters... I think they may be... witch hunters'' you struggle before the realisation ripples through the three of them.

Cordelia's eyes widen, beginning to understand the full extend, internally scolding herself for not realising before, as she begins pacing, trying to think of something she could do, anything to keep the academy safe. ,,What makes you think that babydoll?'' Billie asks confused not necessarily understanding the connection. ,,It's.. I- I don't know, it's just a weird feeling I had'' you explain, glancing at Wilhemina who now stands beside you, one of her steady hands placed gently on your shoulder to tell you she is here and that she wasn't going anywhere. ,,I don't think you should have teleported us here Delia'' you begin, before she stops pacing to look at you. ,,I didn't teleport here for that reason'' you explain. ,,I think they watched me at the markets already, maybe they were looking for you'' you explain. Billie's heart sinks for a moment, before she connects the pieces ,,That could be possible, you go there every Saturday Delia'' she speaks, trying to control her emotions to stay on top of this.

,,If that is true, we may have just led them here'' you speak, not wanting to blame her whatsoever but more concerned with the wellbeing of your girlfriends and the witches left at the academy. ,,Shit'' the supreme curses, really not having thought that last bit through, the concern over you before too strong. ,,Okay we need to act fast, can you help me place another protection spell Y/N?'' the blonde asks, you quickly nodding and up on your feet before you abruptly freeze, startling all three of them. And then it's back, that odd feeling, the feeling of looming danger nearby, doom. ,,They are here'' you whisper, being able to feel their presence as they somehow get past the protection spells and enter the academy. ,,How many witches are here?'' you whisper, towards Cordelia. ,,Just the twins'' she explains, pointing at two rather new members. ,,Keep them safe, I'll look after these two'' you whisper, with quick words, the supreme hesitating for a moment before remembering your abilities and nodding, glancing at you three one more time before leaving.

And then you turn around, catching a glimpse of Wilhemina and Billie who both look utterly terrified. Billie shivering with fear, Wilhemina seeming more composed on the outside but her eyes spoke lengths. ,,Listen'' you whisper, barely audible ''I need you both to stay here while I find Delia'' you begin, but by their faces you could tell they would never let you do this willingly. ,,No way Y/N'' Billie scolds, shaking her head vividly at your suggestion. ,,I'll be two minutes'' you announce but you knew there was no way they would let you go, Wilhemina's angry eyes piercing straight through you. As you begin taking some steps towards the door, the redhead is quick to grab your arm, not letting you go under any circumstances considering the dangers. You nod before whispering ,,Let me put a protection spell on the door at least'' you whisper again, barely audible. They nod, Wilhemina letting go off you before you make your way to the door, closing your eyes, before chanting a strong protection spell, one that would make it impossible for anyone to enter and evenly them to get out.

,,I'm sorry'' you mouth the words before turning around and teleporting away from them, Wilhemina's cane banging in the process ,,Damn it'' Billie snaps, watching you escape their grasps. And with a swift motion, you find yourself downstairs by the staircase. The academy was dead silent and if it wasn't for your intuition, no one would know anything was off and that anyone had entered the usual safe walls of the academy. It was also incredibly dark, the only light source, the occasional lightening from outside, illuminating the usual bright academy. With careful steps, you walk towards the nearest wall, using your witchcraft to carry you further as you make it towards the hallway, now finally hearing some footsteps and being able to tell they weren't from Cordelia. Your brain blanks a little bit as you try to think what to do, whether you should guide them away from here, whether to confront them head on, knowing your powers would be more powerful than their weapons.

As you make it to a door, you poke your head around it, catching a glimpse of one of the shadows, dressed entirely in black before you raise your hand, making him fly across the room, hitting his back on a nearby wall, by the lack of noise assuming he was unconscious for now. ,,What was that?'' another dark low voice asks, making you halt your steps as he was much closer than you initially believed. ,,It's the witches'' another one speaks before you find another one approaching, walking towards the unconscious one. However before you can do anything, Cordelia startles you as you catch a glimpse of her sneaking down the staircase. As soon as her eyes land on you, her eyebrows furrow, brushing the thought away as one was very close to the supreme, his stupidity and the darkness causing him not to see her yet. With a swift motion, she has him equally by the nearest wall, his hands tied behind his back, his mouth covered, only letting the smallest, most pathetic noises escape.

Before you know it, you suddenly feel a sharp pain on the back of your head, before another one is added to your back, causing you to squint your eyes shut, the pain overwhelming you for a moment before you lose your balance. You watch as Cordelia approaches the two witch hunters on the floor, not having seen the third one evidently behind you. But as you watch him approach her, sneaking up behind her, you quickly focus on your magic, adding him to the pile of monsters on the floor, causing him to lose consciousness, dropping the weapons in the process. Cordelia gasps a little as she turns around, seeing you holding onto the nearest wall. And then as danger is averted, the sky fills with the same bright tones of yellow that it had before, the sun shining warmly, instantly illuminating the academy with light again. With a flick of your wrist you release the protection spell around Cordelia's office, knowing they would both be furious with you for this and not wanting to keep them locked in any longer, knowing danger was gone for now.

,,Are you okay?'' Cordelia asks, looking over to you, torn between running to you and checking on you and letting out her wrath on the three figures, knowing despite danger being averted for now, the real work would begin for the supreme now as she had to figure out whether they worked individually, whether they are a part of an organisation. Knowing she would need to take them to the council for further questioning, needing to figure out how they managed to get past the protection barrier of the academy. ,,I'm fine Delia, are you?'' you ask and she simply nods, before kneeling down, taking off one hood by one, trying to see whether she knew them, whether her magic could tell her anything about what had happened. And then as the throbbing pain returns in your back and head, you catch a glimpse of Billie running down the stairs, Wilhemina's cane echoing hard and loud against the marble floor, their faces filled with concern, fear and panic.

,,Is everyone okay?'' Billie asks, taking a step back when she notices the three figures on the floor. ,,All okay Billie'' Cordelia quickly announces, phone already in hand to alert the council about this, as well as Zoe. ,,What the hell was that?'' Wilhemina's angry voice rings through the air, only adding to the pounding in your head. You knew she was talking to you, you knew she was going to be furious with you and you knew it would need a lot of explaining, as she for sure wouldn't just accept your pathetic apology of wanting to keep them and the coven safe. As she descends the stairs, making her way over to you, your legs suddenly feel a little weak, face growing paler and you could definitely feel something warm running down your head, neck and back. ,,I'm so sorry Mina'' you apologise, closing your eyes to fight back the pain and brace for the impact of her words. ,,I just needed to keep you both safe'' you apologies again, and Billie is quick to shoot Wilhemina a glance, the glance telling her that this wouldn't be the right time now.

,,Y/N?'' Cordelia asks, causing you to open your eyes and look at her through your blurry vision. ,,Can you teleport one of them to the council with me? I'll take the other two'' she announces and you try nodding, quickly realising that was a mistake before muttering out a quick ,,Yes''. As you take some unsteady steps towards her, you brush past both Wilhemina and Billie who both look at you, as you try and muster up your best smile, hiding the pain, not wanting to worry them further. ,,We should be back in a few hours, but the coven is safe'' Cordelia announces, having now placed another protection spell around the walls of the academy. ,,Billie darling, can you check on the twins for me?'' she asks, Billie quickly nodding. You take one last glance at Wilhemina before putting your arm around one of them, glancing at Cordelia who gives you the signal to teleport.

And then again, the two of you, including the men are out of your girlfriends sights, Billie sighing before glancing at Wilhemina and making her way upstairs to check on the twins. Cordelia must have already alerted the council beforehand as when you arrive at another school for witches and warlocks, they are already waiting for you both. Both you and Cordelia are quick to hand the men over, the supreme already discussing with the witches and warlocks on what had happened. You pause for a moment, the pain now very evident as you search for the nearest bathroom, Cordelia not really noticing your absense as her main concern was the safety of the coven, assuming at first you were following behind her. It's not until she determinedly fills them in, turning around to speak to you when she notices your absence. Her features tense a little, eyebrows furrowing as she looks around the room, trying to find you among the council of witches and warlocks.

Meanwhile you had found the nearest bathroom, having been here a few times for some council meetings. As you balance on your tip toes with the last energy you have left, turning around, you lift up your shirt, revealing a significant wound and how your shirt was now mostly stained with blood. You had been so caught up in the hectic of things, wanting to keep the academy and your girlfriends safe that you had no idea what actually happened, but by the wound you assume it must have been some sort of knife as the bleeding wasn't stopping yet. Your hair is hiding the other wound, causing the throbbing headache but you couldn't move well and so all you can do for now is linger your hands over it, knowing your healing magic was nothing compared to Cordelia's but it would do for now. With a swift motion, you adjust your jacket, checking one more time for no obvious signs of injury before returning to the witches and your girlfriend.

Cordelia is content seeing you, taking a mental note to check in on you in a little while, still explaining the events that had taken place. It takes several hours, several attempts of a truth enhancing spell, making the men spill their intentions, actions. And it was slow, painful even but eventually, mostly with Cordelia's help they could leave the three of them with the council, leaving their faith in their hands after realising that they weren't a part of some bigger scheme, the three men operating on their own. And so in the end, it allows both you and Cordelia to finally head home, the sun having already set a while ago as the two of you finally teleport back to the academy. And the supreme had noticed, how quiet you had been, observing carefully from the back, answering some council questions here and there but wondering whether you simply felt guilty for what happened with Billie and Wilhemina or if maybe the events had traumatised you, still unaware of your injuries.

,,Sweetheart, are you alright?'' she asks, her features almost stern as she takes in your appearance and slightly pale expression. ,,I'm fine Delia'' you try to convince her with your biggest smile and if it wasn't for her own worries lingering on her mind, she would have noticed that it was forced, that in fact you aren't okay, simply hiding your true state in order to not make them worry. In fact the events lingered on her mind, causing her to feel guilty for not thinking this through before, how her concern over you had clouded her, how you had managed to sense the dangers but she hasn't. You could tell by the shaking of her hands and the guilt in her eyes that she felt awful, that she still didn't feel safe, that she was triggered by the events from today as they had happened in the past and taken everything from the blonde. And you didn't need to guess to know that she was thinking of her mother, that same voice back, reminding her how weak she was for not seeing this coming, how she didn't do enough to protect the academy in the first place.

As the two of you linger in the hallway, you can't help but stop her from sprinting upstairs to check on everyone yet. And so you step in front of her, meeting her brown concerned eyes before speaking softly. ,,Delia, hold on'' you speak softly, causing for her eyes to lock with yours. ,,Are you okay?'' you ask gently, your eyes pleading with her, telling her that you knew and that this was okay. She sighs then, doing that lip twitch thing, exposing her own vulnerability in this moment. ,,Come here'' you offer, opening your arms in an inviting way and with a sigh, she takes you up on the offer, almost collapsing into your arms as the weight slowly tumbles from her tense shoulders. ,,It's okay'' you reassure, squeezing her a little tighter to make sure she knew you are there and that you had got her. You ignore the throbbing pain in your back as her hands linger on it unknowingly.

As the two of you pull away after a while, you find her tear stained eyes and quickly wipe her cheeks. ,,You did great Delia, you protected us all'' you reassure before speaking again ,,And none of this is your fault'' you smile at her, before she can't help but chuckle. ,,How did you know that?'' she asks, almost a little shy and innocently before you raise an eyebrow. ,,Well duh Delia, I am a witch'' you grin, causing her to chuckle a little before pressing a kiss to your forehead. It doesn't take long before the two of you are interrupted, Wilhemina's cane and Billie's heels echoing through the large hallway, finding you both back home safe and sound. ,,Oh thank god'' Billie breathes out in relief, seeing you both back. She is quick to walk over to you both, pressing a kiss to your lips and equally the supremes moments later. And as Cordelia fills Billie in on what happened, answering every single one of her questions, you glance at Wilhemina, almost not daring to meet her eyes as the guilt from your earlier actions weighs heavily on your mind and heart.

However as you meet her eyes, her expression is much softer, forgiving almost and unbeknownst to you, Billie had already managed to calm the redhead down, telling her that if either her or the medium could have done what you did, they would have done it as well. Wilhemina not liking the thought of you putting yourself in danger, especially to protect them but knowing she would have done the same if her abilities had allowed her to. And so as you finally reach her, you feel the urge to hug her, looking up to meet her brown eyes. But as you glance up at her, you could see pain and as you observe a little closer, taking in her posture, you can tell her back was killing her. And it killed you truly, how much her back would continue burdening her, how stressful events like today especially took a toll on her. You hesitate for a moment, knowing you needed to play your cards right with this as your earlier actions still may have some anger lingering on her mind regarding that, possibly even you breaking her trust a little.

,,Are you okay, little one?'' she asks carefully, her voice hushed as Billie and Cordelia make their way into the kitchen, Billie already having prepared some dinner for the four of you. ,,Yes, I'm okay Mina'' you whisper, looking up as your guilty eyes meet hers again. ,,Are you?'' you ask and by the way she averted her eyes you could tell that she wasn't. ,,I'm sorry about earlier'' you apologise, the weight of the guilt almost feeling like dragging you down as well as the continued throbbing in your back and head. ,,It's okay little one'' she speaks softly as a little smile coats her features and you could tell she was being genuine and despite you wanting to explain further, you didn't feel like it as of right now, everything feeling a little much. ,,Dinner is ready you two'' Cordelia announces softly and you simply look at the redhead before following her into the kitchen. As you make it there, the light is dim, the only source some candles and the soft glow from the lamplight illuminating the kitchen. It smells heavenly and you chuckle internally for a moment, knowing there was no way Billie had cooked this and wondering if maybe Wilhemina had or whether the medium had ordered it.

Despite the feeling of normality and the events from today almost fading from your memory, you didn't feel like joining them, urgently wanting a shower and to wash away the reminders of the pain from today. The three of them notice your hesitation to sit down, and you avert their gazes before speaking ,,I- I was just going to shower if that's okay'' you announce and for the first time Cordelia really notices then that something was off with you, how quiet you had been and almost withdrawing a little. She stands up, quickly making her way over, taking in your features and noticing just how pale you are, how tired you seem. ,,Of course darling but are you okay?'' she asks, her eyes piercing through you. It takes all your strength to lie, despite hating it but you knew they each suffered today and you didn't want to add. And so you muster up your best smile, before assuring her that you are just fine and making your way upstairs. As they watch you leave, the concern lingers on their beautiful features, eventually fading a little as Cordelia fills them in on what the council and her had discovered, that the coven was safe.

As you stand in the shower, shivering a little at the cold sensation prickling at your skin, you can't help but see the pile of blood stained clothes on the floor, as well as the blood drawing out from the water, pooling by your legs. You almost feel sick at the sight, trying to turn towards the mirror but not being able to see. And so you reach for the back of your head, trying to figure out what had happened but it quickly turns out to be a mistake as the pain is so severe that it almost causes you to lose your balance altogether. In a pathetic attempt, you linger your hands over the back of your head, making the pain go away for now and causing for the blurring off your vision and the feeling of unsteadiness to go away. After finally making it out of the shower and into some clean clothes, you quickly hide all the evidence from your injuries, before making your way downstairs. You find Billie lingering outside the little backdoor and smoking, smiling at you as you pass her. Cordelia is cleaning some dishes, her features seeming a lot less tense and more relaxed now.

Wilhemina is still sitting at the table when you make your way over, gently placing some tablets next to her, knowing her back was definitely killing her by now. She meets your eyes, thankful yet hesitant of the gesture. ,,I ran you a bath Mina, it's ready upstairs for you if you'd like'' you explain hesitantly, unsure how she was going to take it. Cordelia smiles lovingly at you, appreciating your kindness and how nice you always treated them all. The blonde glances at Wilhemina, her eyes pleading her to soften up a little. The redhead nods, swallowing the tablets before giving you a warm smile and making her way upstairs. As you take a seat, you feel two warm arms wrap around you from behind and by the lingering sense of cigarettes and perfume you could tell it was Billie Dean. You ignore the piercing pain as she unintentionally leans her chin on your shoulder, sending waves of pain through your head and back, causing you to scrunch up. And this time, Cordelia picks it up, seeing your expression as she places a plate of food in front of you, her features instantly tensing.

,,Y/N?'' she asks carefully, her eyes meeting Billie's as yours shoot open a little, quickly trying to compose yourself. ,,What's wrong?'' Billie asks, moving away from you a little in order to see what was bothering you. ,,Nothing Delia, just tired'' you lie again, hating it regardless and your magic had alerted you a while ago that the supreme had tried entering your thoughts, you assume unintentionally as her magic sometimes did that, especially when worrying but you didn't want them to worry so you quickly muster up your best smile and eat the food that Cordelia had given you, hoping it would coax the concern from their features. As the night wears on a little while later, the three of you had decided to head to the bedroom a little earlier than usual, Billie retreating to another bathroom for a bit to finish her beauty routine while Wilhemina was finishing up in the bathroom. Cordelia checking on the remaining witches at the academy one more time and making sure all the doors are locked, windows are closed and the protection spell still strong.

When Wilhemina returns, you can tell that her features are much less tense, posture more stable as well and as she carefully moves to her side of the bed, Cordelia and Billie to your left. The redhead finds another sweet gesture on her night table, she finds that you had left her a glass of water, her nighttime medication and a heating pad so she could get a good nights sleep. And the gesture almost brings tears to her eyes, glancing at you to find you nestled next to Cordelia and Billie. The redhead is quick to get onto her side of the bed, next to you and appreciating your efforts and the pain slowly leaving her body. As you glance at Cordelia and Billie, you could tell that the supreme seemed much less tense now, of course the concern and events from today still lingered on her mind but she seemed calmer, Billie already dozing off a little while ago, her soft snores filling the room ever so quietly. As you turn around, you look at Mina, who you find smiling at you, her eyes piercing right through you as if they silently communicated with your own.

And again you felt the urge to hug her, to hold her close and this time she picks it up, lowering herself on the bed a little to get comfortable, heating pad tucked gently on her back. ,,Come here'' she offers and you comply, snuggling into her side as she wraps an arm around you, Billie subconsciously holding onto you as well as she spoons into you. ,,I'm sorry'' you whisper, almost inaudible but your girlfriend picks it up, looking at you, her eyebrow raised ever so slightly. ,,Why are you sorry little one?'' she whispers, almost a little confused. ,,I didn't mean to scare you before'' you admit, your eyes already brimming with tears, the events from today finally catching up on you. Her features soften before you speak again ,,I just wanted to keep you both safe'' you admit, meeting her brown eyes and she is quick to wipe your tears, keeping you comfortable. ,,I know little one, I know'' she reassures pulling you a little closer and holding you tight.

Eventually sleep washes over you, your eyelids feeling heavy and both Billie and Wilhemina's arms holding you close. It isn't until several hours later, when you wake up, feeling another shift in the air, feeling the medium shivering into your side. You are quick to turn around, face the blonde, ignoring the pounding headache and that same warmth lingering on your back. ,,Billie?'' you try softly, noticing her features tense, her whole body stiff and shivering, tears running down her cheeks and you quickly figured she was having a nightmare. ,,Billie'' you try again, glancing around you to find both your other girlfriends asleep. She wakes then, her eyes widening as more tears stream down her cheeks, but you are quick to wipe them away. ,,Shh'' you try soothing her, finding her hand underneath the blanket and holding onto her. ,,It's okay Billie, you had a nightmare'' you assure and the medium is quick to compose herself, usually denying the nightmares whenever one of you mentioned them.

You watch her hesitate, seeing the fight she was fighting internally of opening up. ,,What did you dream about Billie?'' you ask her carefully, smiling warmly at her before pulling her a little closer. And then it kinda bursts out of her, telling you how she was so scared of losing either of you, how brave you had been and glad she is that everyone is fine. And you hold her through every confession, every tear, every sob, before gently coaxing her back to sleep, whispering words of comfort and affection and how she isn't alone, how you are all right there for her. And it does take a little while but before too long her soft sounds fill the bedroom again and you sigh a little then, the pain now almost unbearable as that took any leftover strength you had. And then it kinda dawns on you that something was wrong, how the pain that you had been pushing away didn't feel normal.

With the last strength left, you somehow manage to force yourself out of bed, trying your best to stay as quiet as possible as you try to make your way to the bathroom, feeling the blood run down your neck and back but almost not feeling it as everything is spinning, your cheeks flashed hot and your vision blurry. Somehow you manage to find the bathroom, the light instantly startling you due to the bright sensation. And for a moment all you can do is close the door, sliding down the bathtub and sitting on the floor, trying to breathe. And it doesn't take long for Cordelia to wake up, hearing your footsteps and her supreme senses alerting her of something, despite her not too sure what that was just yet. The darkness causes her to reach for the light on her bedside, the bright sensation causing her to squint her eyes closed for a moment. She hovers above Billie, trying to find you on the bed but she finds your spot empty and as she moves, Wilhemina is also awake quickly, a light sleeper anyway.

Their eyes seem to linger on your pillow and where you had been laying before almost at the same time, noticing the red stained sheets and the lingering blood and their eyes widen then as they meet across the bedroom despite the darkness of the night. Cordelia's eyes widen as Wilhemina is already reaching for her cane, both quickly on their feet. The bathroom light peaks underneath the door as they walk towards it, Cordelia quick to speak first ,,Y/N, are you alright?'' she asks and when you hear her voice, despite it being faint, you could tell that there was no way you could hide this from them any further. In a pathetic attempt to make this any better, you try balancing on your feet but it's pointless and before you know it, both the blonde and redhead are already walking towards you, Cordelia quick to kneel beside you, Wilhemina lingering nearby, her face filled with concern and confusion.

,,What is it baby?'' the blonde speaks softly, her hands instantly wandering to your cheeks, seeing your pale expression. ,,What hurts darling?'' she asks again, her voice a little firmer this time as she could tell you are struggling to keep your eyes open, unaware that the last few minutes you had fought the battle of unconsciousness with all you have got. Wilhemina struggles to watch you like this, your face so neutral despite the very obvious pain lingering in your eyes. Meanwhile, Cordelia tries propping you forward, not being able to see any obvious signs of injury anywhere before she gasps seeing your back. The t-shirt you were sleeping in before, mostly stained in a crimson red and she panics then, not understanding at first what had happened and where this was suddenly coming from. ,,Little one, speak to us please'' Wilhemina ushers, the concern now very visible in her features and voice as she kneels down equally, leaning on her cane and if you could think clearly you would have scolded her, reminded her of her back but you couldn't think as the only thing on your mind was them. Little memories with them clouding your mind, causing you to forget about the pain for a moment.

Cordelia was usually the calm and composed one in these situations but somehow today had caused for her own anxiety to betray her as she helplessly looks at Wilhemina, unsure what to do. The redhead is quick to usher her to get you to lay down, as the blonde in a swift motion has you facing to your side, for the first time getting a good look at your injuries. And she gasps then, in disbelief and not remotely understanding where this came from. Towards the middle of your back a long deep cut is to be seen, Wilhemina balancing on her cane to get a look and despite remaining silent, her heart breaks at the sight. She has a feeling this may have happened today and how you continued powering through it all and not mentioning any of it and the redhead feels conflicted, seeing so much of herself in you but knowing the pain that burden carried and always having tried to protect you from just that.

The blonde is quick to hover her shaking hand over the wound, with a quick motion making it disappear altogether as her healing powers are quite strong, being the supreme and all. In anticipation she leans over your shaking body, noticing how you aren't quite with them still but on the first try, she can't seem to find any other obvious signs of injury. ,,Y/N darling'' she tries but it's hopeless as the pain in your head was getting more severe by the minute. The energy in the room shifts, Cordelia being able to think clearly now as panic sets in Wilhemina's features, unsure how to handle with you not being responsive. And so the supreme does the only thing she can think of at that moment, closing her eyes, before touching your forehead, shaking as she enters your thoughts, the events from today replaying in her mind.

And then like a little movie, she sees and feels the pain you had endured today, getting a glimpse of you in the bathroom, in the shower and what actually got you to these wounds. And it's painful as little images float in your mind, images with your girlfriends, happy memories and the sight brings tears to her eyes. ,,What is it?'' Wilhemina asks sternly, as the supreme opens her eyes again, understanding what the headmistress had done moments before. ,,We need to check her head'' Cordelia announces, gently moving your hair to the side to get a better look at the back of your head. Her fingers already stain in blood before she sees the wound and Wilhemina can't help but sigh, seeing the state you are in and how you soldiered through it all on your own. Blaming herself for not knowing sooner, thinking about what could have happened if they never found you tonight.

Cordelia is quick to hover her hand over your head again, this wound taking a little longer to heal but she manages nevertheless. Wilhemina breathes out in relief, watching as the blood slowly fades away, from your back, the back of your head and her girlfriends hands. ,,Sweetheart?'' Cordelia tries, nudging your shoulder a little as she carefully moves you to face her. Wilhemina watches as your eyes remain closed, confusion washing over her face, the concern still evident on her features. ,,Y/N darling, I need you to wake up'' she tries again, this time a little sterner and at last your eyes finally open, the bright sensation causing them to squint shut before realising you are on the bathroom floor and seeing their expressions. ,,Shit'' you think to yourself, quickly composing yourself and forcing yourself up. And as you are back on your feet, you quickly realise it was a mistake as your vision blurs, little stars forming around you.

And you should have known, knowing Cordelia's magic was strong and despite assuming she fixed your injuries, your face grows pale, the supreme quickly behind you to catch you. ,,Hey hey'' she coos, keeping you balanced as she helps sit you down on the edge of the large bathtub. ,,You're okay'' she reassures, glancing at Wilhemina who's features at this point are beyond readable, the initial shock of concern slowly replaced with anger. Despite the dizzy spell, you could tell she was furious with you, opening your mouth to apologise but the words get caught in your throat. And at last the medium had woken, stumbling into the bathroom as she holds onto the door frame for support. ,,What happened?'' she asks, a little dumbfounded, her voice still hoarse from sleep.

,,As per usual Billie, you missed everything'' Wilhemina remarks, her features stern as she balances on her cane, leaving you with the supreme and medium. You feel the strange urge to follow your redhead girlfriend, to apologise for the consequences from your actions but you still couldn't walk properly and so all you can do is close your eyes, trying to fight back the tears of them being upset with you. ,,Babydoll'' Billie begins, kneeling beside you ,,Delia what happened?'' she asks, confused, feeling terrible for missing everything. Cordelia glances at Billie before her eyes travel back to your own, a flicker of sadness in them as she couldn't believe you would have kept it from them for this long, usually her being the one that needed to coax this sorta stuff out from Wilhemina. And knowing you knew how to take care of yourself but this just seeming utterly unlike you.

,,What?!'' Billie's voice ripples through the air, awakening you from your daze as you didn't listen to a single thing Cordelia had said, too focused on your loud thoughts and the guilt that was beginning to crush you with each second passing. And then before the medium can scold you as well, you balance on your legs, quickly walking away before either of them can stop you, brushing past Wilhemina as well before making your way downstairs, not remotely in the mood to deal with any of it as you hide away in your usual sanctuary the greenhouse. And instantly the calm tranquility of plants and peace makes you feel at ease, wiping the tears that you had no idea streamed from your cheeks before.

Billie is quick to rush after you, Cordelia however stopping her as she knew you needed to calm down for a while and knowing your injuries are healed. ,,Billie wait'' she ushers, the medium stopping in her tracks. Wilhemina remains quiet and composed as the two of them talk, pretending to not listen to their words. ,,Why would she not tell us?'' the medium asks, glancing at the sheets covered in the same shade of red from before. ,,I don't know'' Cordelia sighs, rubbing her temples in frustration, with a flick of her wrist making the blood stains disappear from the bed. ,,I don't understand'' Billie argues, fiddling nervously with her nails before Wilhemina's voice rings through the air again, startling the two of them in the process. ,,It's because she didn't want us to know'' she begins, Cordelia's features filled with pain listening to her girlfriends words. ,,Because she would rather take care of us and protect us than ask for help'' she adds, causing for her girlfriends eyes to slowly swell with tears.

The room fills with silence as the minutes pass by, neither of them speaking, the anger slowly subsiding from Wilhemina's features, more concerned with your wellbeing and feeling the strong urge to find you and hold you close, considering how brave you had been. ,,Let me find her'' Cordelia announces, not liking the idea of you being on your own. Your peace and quiet is interrupted when the blonde makes an appearance in the greenhouse, knowing she would be able to find you there as you always hid away in the comfort of the greenhouse, her being the only one to truly understand how special the place really was. And she lingers by the doorway for a moment, unsure whether you had managed to calm down yet. ,,Sweetie?'' she asks gently, coaxing you right back into the present and away from your thoughts. As soon as your eyes land on her, you falter, feeling terrible and tears already brimming in your eyes.

,,Delia I'm sorry'' you announce quickly before she walks over to you, her stepped rushed as she wants nothing more than to hold you in her arms. ,,Sweetie'' she coos, tilting her head as she walks over before her arms wrap around you, holding you close to her chest. The two of you stay like this for a while, before she takes in your features, taking your cheeks into her hands. ,,You have nothing to be sorry for darling'' she reassures, locking eyes with you to make her statement more believable. ,,You kept us safe sweetheart'' she speaks before your eyes avert hers again. ,,I wish you would have told me darling, so I could have fixed it though''. Her words are gentle and warm, just like your Delia and somehow you feel safe, believing her and slowly feeling calmer. ,,How about we get you back upstairs sweet girl?'' she tries but your eyes find hers again, betraying your own anxiety as you fear the reaction from the other two.

,,You don't need to worry darling, I promise'' she ushers before taking your hand and leading you back inside. You simply follow, feeling too tired to argue and still feeling the lingering headache. As the two of you walk through the dark academy, you feel safe with Delia as you would follow her everywhere, even straight into hell and back. Before too long, the two of you make it back into your bedroom, Billie already tugged in again, despite being awake, Wilhemina sitting on her usual bedside, awaiting your return. And as you glance at them, you can tell their features are much softer, Cordelia settling behind Billie so she could hold you as she already waits in anticipation to hold you into her arms. Reluctantly, you crawl into bed, sitting there a little awkwardly before Billie pulls you close ,,Please never scare us like this again babydoll'' she warns, her eyes filled with nothing but softness and kindness and you simply nod before she presses a kiss to your cheek, content to have you back in her embrace.

A long time passes, while you stay in Billie's embrace, before you dare glance at Wilhemina who sits in silence beside you. As your eyes meet her own, she carefully observes your features, checking for any signs of lingering pain but all she can find is sadness in your beautiful eyes and it causes for her heart to ache. Subconsciously, your hand wanders towards hers, before holding onto it, and it takes her by surprise but she doesn't mind, simply squeezing it a little to reassure she was there. ,,I-'' you begin speaking but she is quick to stop you. ,,Little one it's okay'' she reassures, knowing that you were about to apologise for the millionth time. ,,You scared me that's all'' she explains as she presses a kiss to the back of your hand. ,,Come here'' she offers and you wiggle away from Billie's arms and move into hers. You find yourself nestled in her arms, as she holds you close before resting her chin on your head, before she begins speaking again ,,I never want you to hide from us again little one'' she scolds a little, her voice remaining gentle. ,,You deserve every bit of care that you show us'' she reminds you.

And as your eyes meet hers, you see the genuine love in them as well as the relief of having you in her arms safe and sound. ,,Promise me'' she urges before you meet her eyes. ,,Promise'' you whisper, smiling at her. ,,Good girl'' she praises before pressing a kiss to your forehead and wrapping you back into her arms. And then as the night wears on, you find yourself where you belong in the arms of your lovers and despite the chaos that today had brought upon the four of you, you know that no matter what, you have each other's back and before you slowly fall asleep, you remember the promise you have made to your girlfriend, wanting to be better and open up to them more. ,,I'm here little one, you're okay'' she coos before your eyelids feel heavier and Wilhemina eventually coaxes you to sleep.

#sarah paulson #cordelia goode #wilhemina venable #ahs #american horror story #billie dean howard #sarah paulson x reader #cordelia goode x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard x reader

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iamnotoriginalphil · 4 months

Text

Sweet Girl (Billie Dean Howard x f!Reader)

Synopsis: Meeting your mother's friend was the best day of your life.

Words: 6.9k

Warnings: Semi-choking, praise kink, smut, age gap, marking, alcohol consumption, swearing

“Hey, mom, I-”

You paused in the doorway. The blonde woman who looked up at you, hands curled around one of your mother’s mugs, steam wafting upwards, was most certainly not your mom. Her pink lips quirked up into a smile, eyes sweeping over your body before settling on your face again.

“You’re not my mom,” you said.

“I’m certainly not,” she replied.

You weren’t sure what else to say. She was still watching you, head tilted to one side, and you felt yourself tremble under her gaze. There was something about it that felt like a caress across your skin.

“Um, is my mom around? Only I’m pretty sure this is still her house. Unless she moved without telling me which I wouldn’t put past her,” you said.

“She’s upstairs,” she replied.

“Right.”

Your weight rocked forward before you fell back. Looking away, you were feeling something growing in your stomach, familiar and warm, making your fingers itch. You shoved your hands into your pockets. Her low chuckle was throaty, your eyes snapping up to her again.

The silk blouse she was wearing was open just one button too far, an enticing shadow making you want to lean forward and run your tongue between the valley of her breasts. She crossed one leg over the other, drawing your attention down to where her skirt fluttered around her calves. A hand tipped in pink acrylics began to drum over the tabletop, slow and deliberate. You felt breathless, standing under her gaze.

“Ah, darling, you’re here. Wonderful. Have you met Billie? You must have,” your mother said, coming down the stairs.

You dragged your eyes away from her guest, Billie, to look over to her. She was smiling at you, looking ready for brunch. In your jeans and t-shirt, you were definitely the most underdressed in the room.

“Why are you dressed like that?” your mother asked, sweeping past you to sit at the table with Billie.

“You asked me to come over. Is everything okay? What’s going on?” you asked.

“Darling, we’re going to brunch,” she replied.

“What? Mom, I have class in twenty minutes. I thought this was an emergency,” you said, your exasperation leaking through.

“Surely you can skip just this once,” your mother said, “you’re always too busy to see me anymore.”

“Mom,” you sighed.

“Billie was so looking forward to meeting you,” she said.

“Come on,” Billie said, leaning towards you, “live a little.”

“Fine,” you said, “fine, but you’re buying my meal. And drinks.”

“Whatever you say, darling,” she said.

Sitting in the back of your mother’s car as she drove, you did your best not to stare at the blonde head in front of you. Her eyes kept finding yours in the rear view mirror, sparkling brown, while she kept up with her conversation with your mother. You felt like a sullen teenager sitting there, silent and annoyed. The guilt churning in your stomach was an irritant, your mother knowing how to push your buttons.

The restaurant you were brought to was fancy, fancier than you would ever go to with your friends. From the way you were being looked at, you knew you weren’t dressed well enough for the place. You sat outside, across from Billie, your mother between the two of you. Your server poured iced water into the glasses before leaving the three of you, your quiet thanks the only one given.

“What are you studying?” Billie asked.

“Media and communication,” you replied, fiddling with your cloth napkin.

“A useless choice,” your mother scoffed, scanning over the menu, “I told her to choose something worthwhile. Like biology or accounting.”

“I want to make documentaries,” you said, ignoring your mother completely.

“Well, that sounds wonderful,” Billie said.

“Don’t indulge her,” your mother said.

“Mom, we’ve talked about this,” you sighed.

“You’re so smart, darling. You could do more with your life than making silly movies about things people don’t care about,” she said, placing her menu down.

You gave a cursory glance over yours, not wanting to answer her. You’d had that very same argument time and time again, there was no point trying again. She had her opinion and there was no changing it in your experience.

“Perhaps I could put you in contact with some documentarians,” Billie said before your mother could go into it again, “or if you’d like work experience my show is always looking for interns.”

“Show?”

“Darling, you know Billie. There’s no point feigning ignorance,” your mother sighed.

“Billie Dean Howard,” she said, extending her hand over the table, “medium to the stars.”

You shook her hand, the brush of her skin over yours bringing heat to your cheeks. She was giving you a small smile, chin tilted down, her eyes sparkling with interest. Your breath caught, tongue darting out to wet your lips. Her gaze dipped down to your lips, making heat bloom in your stomach.

“You know her,” your mother was saying, not noticing of the moment you were having, “I’m sure you’ve seen her show. It’s always on.”

“Mom, I don’t… own a TV,” you said, breaking the moment, turning away from Billie and the gravity you felt begging you to fall into her.

“You don’t?” Billie asked.

You turned to look at her, finding her resting her chin in the palm of her hand. Your breath caught again, the way she was looking at you was like you were the most interesting thing she could imagine. You weren’t used to being looked at that way.

“May I take your orders?”

You startled, not having noticed the waiter approaching. A curse slipped over your lips, Billie’s throaty chuckle only bringing more heat to your cheeks. You muttered your order, passing over the menu.

“And a round of mimosas,” your mother said.

You opened your mouth to argue but then shut it again. Billie caught your eye, giving you an amused smile. Butterflies burst in your stomach. You looked down to your lap, not needing this while also dealing with your mother. Why did your mother have to have such a beautiful friend?

You listened as they talked, staying silent. Billie kept catching your eye across the table, a twist of her lips and wandering gaze making you wonder if this wasn’t some kind of torture. Your mother seemed none the wiser of your crisis, but the blonde was watching you as you did your best not to wonder what her fingers would feel like trailing along your skin as they circled the rim of her mimosa.

You downed yours in your attempt to keep yourself from groaning when her tongue darted out, chasing a drop of orange juice at the corner of her lips.

Your French toast was placed down in front of you, the mimosa replaced without being asked. Digging in, you watched Billie salt her eggs Benedict. Your mother wrinkled her nose at you.

“Darling, at some point you’ll have to raise your palette to something more adult,” she said.

“You know I have a sweet tooth,” you mumbled.

“It’s hard to resist something so sweet, isn’t it, sweet girl?” Billie said and you thought you had to be reading too much into her words.

There was no way she’d blatantly flirt with you in front of your mom. Would she? Maybe she would. You didn’t know her at all.

You wanted to though.

As you went to take a sip from your replenished mimosa, you felt a foot graze along yours. You spluttered, dribbling some of the cocktail down your chin. You wiped it away, ignoring your mother’s admonishment to glare across the table. Billie had her lips pressed together, suppressing laughter as she peered back at you, eyes twinkling.

Her foot was slow to glide up your leg, taking her time as you felt yourself become more unhinged. Swiping up some of the sauce on her plate, her tongue licked along her fingers before she sucked it into her mouth, cheeks hollowing, dark eyes keeping your attention hostage. Your mother was still speaking, but it was on the periphery of your senses, your entire being focused on the feeling of her foot brushing your leg, her tongue flicking over her skin, her eyes boring into yours.

Her small smirk told you she knew exactly what she was doing to you.

“I should go,” you said, abruptly standing.

“So soon?” Billie asked.

“I have class,” you muttered, “I’ll text you later, mom.”

You fled from your brunch, heart racing and skin tingling. Dark eyes haunted you on your trek to college and you found yourself wondering what pink lips would taste like. You were stuck contemplating the entire experience instead of listening to your classes, not willing to admit how much you wanted her.

Later, at home, you watched clips of her show on YouTube, one hand in your underwear, imagining it was hers.

A week later, against your better judgement, you agreed to join your friends at one of the bougie bars that you knew was overpriced but catered to a certain clientele. Growing up with a relatively rich crowd, you still felt out of place, even with your mother’s money. It had always settled around you like an uncomfortable skin. But every now and then, you joined your childhood friends for a night out.

This time you did not come underdressed. Your dress was nice and your hair was styled. You’d even put on some makeup. You had heels on. No one could suggest you hadn’t dressed up for your night out.

The lighting was dim, making the atmosphere feel intimate. It was the kind of place you’d bring a date, if you wanted to show off the way your father tried to buy your love by filling your bank account.

Your friends claimed one of the tables, plush leather seats cushioning your body. A bottle of champagne was bought for the table, starting off your night. You kept relatively quiet, listening to what your friends had been up to, not wanting to admit that you were still pursuing a college education in something not business adjacent. You’d heard every joke under the sun from them when you’d first started. Mostly about how you were going to be a homeless bum by the time you were thirty.

A large group came in somewhere between the third and fourth round of drinks. You kept your head bent, not caring, only concerned for the noise that would come from them. There was a part of you considering going home, not sure you should have said yes to coming out with your friends. You were getting pleasantly buzzed, but you were tired and looking to curl up in bed with your laptop and thoughts of dark eyes and pink nails.

Noticing your drink was empty, you got to your feet, wandering up to the bar. You hoisted yourself into one of the seats, one leg crossing over the other, the hem of your skirt riding up as you lent forward.

“Hello, sweet girl,” a warm voice purred in your ear.

You startled, turning your head to look over your shoulder. Blonde curls resting against her shoulder, lips pulling up into a wicked smile, dark eyes glittering, Billie Dean Howard looked as if she’d stepped right out of your fantasies. You could feel your eyes widening as you watched her take the seat beside you, long fingers tapping on the top of the bar, pink acrylics making a pleasing noise where they connected with wood.

“What are you doing here, sweet girl?” she asked, “I wouldn’t think this was your kind of a place.”

“My friends,” you gestured somewhere behind you, “they uh… this is their kind of place.”

She didn’t even bother glancing at your group. Her eyes had settled on you and you weren’t sure they would be moving any time soon. The barman arrived and she didn’t even bother looking to him, ordering for both you and herself. Your heart fluttered. She oozed confidence, as if there was no doubt in your mind that she was charming you.

She was.

A green cocktail was placed down in front of you, the gin and tonic she’d ordered far simpler than your drink. She waited for you to try it before she sipped from her own drink, humming low in her throat. You shuddered, sweetness bursting on your tongue from the sugar rim on the glass. You licked some away, watching the way her eyes darkened as she watched your tongue drag along the glass.

“Are you enjoying it, sweet girl?” she asked.

You nodded, “thank you. You didn’t have to.”

“Let me spoil you,” she said, hand landing on your leg.

Her thumb brushed the inside of your thigh, your skin almost electrified under her touch. She lent towards you, her nails digging in just enough to feel the sting. Heat coursed through your veins. You found yourself leaning towards her too, not able to stop yourself.

“Would you like to be spoiled, sweet girl?” she asked in almost a whisper.

Your mouth turned dry, knowing you definitely weren’t reading too much into her words now. Her eyes drifted down, lingering on your cleavage, shown to great effect in your dress. Her hand shifted up, just an inch, making you shiver.

“Well?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yes please,” you breathed.

Any reason to say no was gone from your head. That fact she was friends with your mom didn’t even register. All you could focus on was the heat pooling in your stomach and the brush of her thumb over the vulnerable skin of your inner thigh. Your teeth sunk into your lower lip, her eyes finding it, focusing as she lent forward even closer, breath ghosting over your skin.

“Hey, who’s this?”

An arm was slung around your shoulders, your friend, Rachel, leaning against you. Billie lent back, hand slipping to rest on your knee. You had to press your lips together to keep your whimper inside, not able to live down the thought of your friend hearing you.

“This is Billie, she’s uh… she’s a friend of mom’s,” you replied.

“Wait, shit, I know you. You’re that psychic off the tv,” Rachel said.

“Medium,” she replied, voice much colder than when it had been directed at you.

“You talk to ghosts and shit,” she said, voice loud from right beside your ear.

“I do,” she replied, tilting her chin up, looking down her nose at your friend.

“That’s crazy,” she said, “you actually think you’re talking to ghosts?”

“I am actually talking to ghosts,” she replied, sounding icier than you’d ever heard her.

“Crazy,” she said again, awed by her supposed insanity.

“Well, it was lovely seeing you,” she said to you.

She rose from the stool she’d been sitting in, leaving your heart thumping wildly. She gave you one lingering look before leaving you be with Rachel. Your friend swooped in, stealing her seat, leaning towards you with her forearms resting on the bar.

“Were you trying to go home with her?” she asked.

“What?” you laughed.

“Celebrity fucking. Are you in on it? Because if you are I think Matthew is winning on that front. He got a Kardashian,” she said, “but hey, I get it. You have to start somewhere. Work up to the big guns.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, indignation beginning to rise.

“Start with some insignificant woman with a show before you move on to the hot ones. She’ll be easy, I bet. Probably a good ego boost to have someone so young pursuing her. I doubt she’s fucked anyone in ages,” she said before clicking to get the barman’s attention.

“I’m gonna…” You didn’t bother finishing your sentence before you walked off, leaving her to order more drinks.

Outside, you found her again, leaning against the wall, cigarette between fingers, smoke curling out of her mouth. You watched her for a moment, letting your eyes linger on the way her lips pursed, the clinging silk blouse, the long fingers brought to her mouth then away again.

“You’re staring,” she said.

“You’re beautiful,” you replied, then immediately worried you’d been too bold.

She turned to look at you, looking less than impressed at your answer. You clasped your hands together behind your back, not wanting her to see you fidgeting. You swallowed past the lump in your throat.

“I’m sorry about her,” you said, “I don’t think you’re crazy.”

“Many do,” she said.

“Billie,” you breathed out, stepping closer to her until the scent of her cigarette wrapped around you, “I don’t. I think there’s plenty out there we can’t explain and who am I to say if ghosts exist. What I do know is that I’ve been thinking about you since we met.”

She softened, turning her body towards you. You reached out, fingers brushing over the back of her hand. She stubbed her cigarette out on the wall, dropping it into the bin just behind you. In one motion, she curled her arm around your waist, pulling you closer until your body brushed against hers.

“And what have you been thinking when you think about me?” she asked.

“About how you taste,” you groaned.

She grasped your chin, acrylics digging in to the skin of your cheeks. She pulled you forward, breath ghosting over your lips. You finally let yourself whimper. Her smile stretched.

“How can I deny you, sweet girl?” she murmured.

Her lips brushed against yours, tantalising, almost teasing, barely there but making your heart pound and your knees grow weak. Your hands slid along her hips, wanting to pull her closer, wanting to feel her body against yours. She drew back, her hand still holding your chin, keeping you from leaning towards her again.

“How was that?” she asked.

You shook your head, trying to dip back in. She held you tight enough to make you whine, refusing to give you what you wanted.

“Use your words, sweet girl,” she said.

“More,” you whined, “I want more.”

The door to the bar opened, the chatter from inside leaking out. She looked over your shoulder at the couple leaving, a blank mask falling over her face. Dragging her eyes back to you, she softened again.

“Let me take you home, sweet girl,” she said, “say I can have you for the rest of the night.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “you can have me as long as you want.”

“Careful or I might just end up keeping your forever,” she warned.

You were finding it hard to see that as a bad thing.

She called for a car, keeping one hand on your body, thumb stroking over skin until you were a trembling mess. In the back seat of the car, her hand was slow as it slid up your thigh, keeping up a conversation with the driver, practically ignoring you. You were biting down on your lip, trying to keep silent. Her eyes flashed over to you, glittering when she noticed your struggle. Her thumb passed so close to your heat if you’d shifted your hips just an inch, she could have been touching your panty covered core. Even with the material in the way, you were sure she’d be able to feel how wet you were.

The car pulled up outside a nice home, two stories and large enough for a family to live in. Billie held the door open for you to slide out, her hand settling on the small of your back, leading you up the porch. She pushed the door open, waiting for you to step inside.

“Would you like a drink, sweet girl?” she asked, closing the door.

You’d been expecting her to be on you the moment the door was closed, but instead all she did was trail her fingers along your shoulders before leaving you be. You followed behind, disappoint curling in your gut. Your eyes drifted down to her swaying hips, skirt only accentuating her figure.

She flicked on the light in her kitchen, a wide wall of windows staring back. You followed, not sure what else to do. Reaching above her head, she pulled down a wine glass, only one, before turning back towards you. Her eyes swept over you, from head to toe, smile curling up one corner of her lips.

“You didn’t answer,” she said.

“No.” You shook your head, “I think if I have any more you’ll be taking advantage of me.”

“Well, we can’t have that,” she replied.

She poured herself a glass of white wine, pulled straight from her fridge. She took a sip from it, watching you as she did. Her tongue dragged along her lower lip, catching a drop of stray wine. You made a small noise, her smirk only growing.

“Billie,” you whined, your self respect long since gone. All you wanted was her hands on your bare skin, not this waiting game she was forcing you to play.

“Yes, sweet girl?” she asked.

“Please,” you begged, “I need you.”

“Do you?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“Yes.”

She placed her glass of wine down before taking a step towards you. With strong hands, she lifted you onto the counter, stepped between your parted legs. Her hands were sliding up the skin of your thigh, making you shiver.

“How’s this?” she asked.

“Uh huh,” you replied, beyond words just from her touch.

Her nose skimmed along your jaw, making your breath hitch. Your legs tightened around her, pinning her there as you whimpered. Her lips were soft as they pressed to your skin, head falling back to give her more access. Her tongue flicked out, tasting you with a soft hum. Your fingers clenched around the edge of the marble countertop, breath already ragged.

Her nails scraped along your skin, pushing up underneath your dress. You would have torn it from your body if she asked, uncaring of anything but giving her more access to you. Her teeth scraped along your skin before sinking in just enough for the sting to be pleasurable. Tongue swiping over it, you could feel her smile against your throat at the strangled noise you made. The way she sucked on your pulse point had your head growing fuzzy.

Your hands found their home on her shoulders, fingers curling as you tried to haul her closer. The throbbing between your legs was insistent but ignored by her. You wanted to reel her in, press against her, rub yourself against her like an animal. Her nails were scraping along your skin, drawing patterns on your skin in a way that had you shivering.

“Billie,” you gasped out, “please.”

“Sorry, sweet girl,” she murmured against your skin, “I can’t get enough of your taste.”

Her tongue swirled again, her soft sigh making you burn. Your fingers curled in her hair, tugging until you were leaning towards her, breath ghosting over her skin. She looked up from under eyelashes, coquettish and innocent, undone by the twist of her lips.

You kissed her, no longer just a brush of lips, all innocence gone. You groaned into her mouth, fingers tightening on blonde curls, tongue licking into her mouth. She allowed you, nails digging into your skin as you did your best to taste her, to explore, to delve deeper until you couldn’t remember what it was to not be kissing her. The taste of wine and cigarettes lingered on her tongue, something sweeter and deeper underneath.

You moaned, chasing her taste, wanting to burn it into your brain until nothing else remained. She was forcing your legs further apart, fingers on your inner thighs, stroking closer and closer to your heated core. She chuckled into your mouth when you whined, hips shifting, trying to urge her on.

Desperate lips trailed down your neck again, nipping at skin. Your fingers, still buried in her hair, clenched, pressing her closer, your pleas ignored as she took her time. Her teeth sunk in as her index finger ghosted over your centre. The noise that came from you had your cheeks heating before your embarrassment was washed away by the need for her touch.

Her finger stroked over you again, still over the top of your underwear. She was sucking another bruise onto your skin, her teeth and her tongue only making you desperate for more. Her finger pressed down, finding your clit through your panties. Her name was a strangled noise, back arching towards her.

“You’re so wet, sweet girl,” she said, “god, you’ve soaked right through.”

You whimpered as she continued to circle it, tortuously slow. She pulled back, eyes sweeping over your face, watching you. Her other hand slipped from under your dress, soft as it drifted up your body. You arched into her touch when she found your breast, begging her for more. She ignored you, hand continuing up until fingers rested on your throat, thumb stroking over the point she’d been sucking on before.

“Do you know how pretty you are?” she asked you, those dark eyes smouldering up at you, “you make such lovely noises for me.”

“Billie,” you whimpered, “Billie please.”

“I like when you beg, sweet girl,” she said, “do it again.”

“Please,” you whined.

“Good girl.”

That only made you tremble, heat coursing through you. From her delighted smile, she seemed to realise the effect her words had on you. Her fingers pushed aside your underwear, fingers swiping through your folds. The sound that came from you was high pitched, hips bucking up against her touch.

The hand around your throat tightened, for just a moment, long enough to make fire burn through you. She tugged you forward, kissing you, teeth sinking into your lower lip. You were aching for her, needing her more than you’d needed anyone before.

Fingers were slow to circle your clit, as if testing how far she could push you before she drove you insane. She drew back, watching you as your chest heaved, skin heating, eyes begging her for more. Lips pulled up into a smirk, the older woman slowing her movements until you felt tears prick in your eyes.

“You’re so pretty for me,” she said, “look how responsive you are. Such a good girl.”

“Billie,” you whined.

“I could watch you like this for hours,” she said.

“Please,” you begged, “please, Billie, I need-“

Her thumb ground against your clit, your words breaking off into a strangled moan. Her delight was enough to let you know you would be given no easy release. You tugged on her hair.

“Do you enjoy that, sweet girl?” she asked, so innocent, as if she wasn’t watching you fall apart in front of her.

Her thumb slipped from your clit, leaving you with the slow circling again, tortuous and maddening. You let out a shaky breath, fingers tightening in her blonde curls.

“I bet you taste sweet,” she murmured, “will you let me taste you, sweet girl?”

“Yes,” you babbled, “please. Oh god, please, Billie. I need you.”

Her hand slipped from your throbbing cunt, making you whine in protest. The hand resting around your throat slid down. Both tugged on the hem of your dress, dragging it up your body. You let her pull it from your body, flinging it aside as her eyes roved over your bare skin and lacy lingerie.

“Who did you wear these pretty things for, sweet girl?” she asked, finger running along the lace of your bra, “was there someone you were hoping would see these?”

“No,” you replied, feeling breathless.

“Don’t lie to me, sweet girl,” she warned.

Her dark eyes met yours and you could see it, swimming in her eyes, no matter how she was trying to hide it. The jealousy. The anger. The thought you’d dressed up for anyone but her. A sense of power flooded your body. To have such an effect on her, to make her feel that way, it was mind blowing for you.

“No one but you,” you said, tugging her closer, “I’ve been thinking of no one else since I met you.”

“You say such lovely things,” she said.

Her hands cupped your breasts, thumbs swiping over your nipples. Your breath stuttered and she lent down, lips ghosting along your skin. Her tongue dipped into the divot between your collarbones, stealing both your breath and your sanity. You moaned her name, arching towards her mouth.

Sliding her hands around your ribs, she unhooked your bra. Her lips continued down before wrapping around one nipple. Your mouth fell open around a silent moan. She wasn’t soft, her sharp suck making you tighten your fingers in her hair. Her tongue flicked over it, making you arch into her, asking for more.

Her nails scraped over your skin, down over your ribs, past the dip of your waist, over the curve of your hips. They hooked into your underwear, pulling them off you. Down your legs and flung aside, you did your best to help her, wanting that tongue where your throbbing heat was.

Lips trailed down your body, leaving your nipples behind despite your whimper. She took her time, lingering on every inch of skin she found. Her tongue would smooth over where her teeth scraped, heat following in her wake. You sighed at the first swipe of it through your folds. Your head fell back, fingers tightening in her hair. She hummed, pressing closer, tongue teasing your entrance.

She wrapped her lips around your clit, tongue flicking over it, then again when you moaned her name. It wasn’t going to take much, not from the way she’d been teasing you all night. And not from the way you’d been fantasising about her all week. The reality was much better than you could have imagined.

And in your imagination she’d been spectacular.

You gasped her name when she began to suck on your bundle of nerves, her hands pushing your legs even further apart. Spread out on her kitchen counter, face buried between your legs, feasting on you, it was as if all your dreams were coming true. She moaned, the vibrations rocketing through your body. Her name was a prayer on your lips and felt yourself coming apart. Her dark eyes looked up your body, catching yours and the way she was watching was like you were fulfilling all of her fantasies too.

The flat of her tongue pressed against your clit. You were writhing under her touch, begging her for release. Her fingers tightened on your thighs until you were sure she’d be leaving bruises for you to find the next day. She moaned again and it was enough.

If you were asked about it, you wouldn’t say you screamed her name, fingers tightening in her hair until you were pulling it. But you did. And she looked like the cat that got the cream because of it.

She cleaned you up with her tongue before she lent back, staring up at you, lips smirking. You pulled her up, kissing her with the kind of abandon you hadn’t let yourself have earlier. She chuckled into your mouth until your legs were tightening around her and your hands were sliding down her body and she began to moan.

“I want to touch you,” you murmured into her mouth, “please let me touch you.”

“I really can’t deny you anything,” she replied, pulling back, “perhaps somewhere comfortable though? I don’t bounce back like I once did.”

Her hand slipped into yours, helping you off the counter. Her eyes trailed over your body for a moment, appreciation filling her face as she took her time studying you. You flushed under her gaze, surprised by how much you liked her looking at you. Where usually you didn’t languish in nudity, the way she was staring made you feel powerful, desirable, stupidly sexy.

She led you further into the house, up the stairs, into a plush bedroom. The carpet underfoot was soft and the bed was huge. She sat on the edge of it, pulling you forward until you were stood between her legs. Leaning down, you threaded your fingers through her hair again, tilting her head up and kissing her until you felt her begin to relax.

You climbed onto her lap, knees either side of her hips. She hummed into your mouth, fingers trailing over your skin until the fire within you reignited. You pushed her back, feeling more than hearing the way she laughed against your lips.

“You’re so beautiful,” you whispered, drawing back to look down at her.

Her eyes brightened and there was a faint flush on her cheeks. Your fingers were careful as you began to unbutton her blouse, exposing tantalising inches of skin to your hungry gaze. Your tongue dragged along your bottom lip as you watched the silk slip from her shoulders. She pulled you down into another kiss, hot and insistent.

Your hands were gentle, fingertips trailing along her skin. It was so soft, and it only made you want more of her. With your tongue in her mouth, you reached behind her, unclasping the bra, pulling it from her body. You trailed your lips down, taking your time to worship every inch you came into contact with. Her fingers found their way into your hair, pressing you closer. You slid down her body, needing a better angle if you were to make her moan your name.

Your tongue tasted her skin, swirling over a nipple, smiling when you felt her arch up towards you. She murmured praise, practically a sigh. Your hands reached for her skirt, slow to unzip it and push it over her hips. She kicked it away before your hand ran up the outside of her thigh. You could feel her warmth practically radiating towards you.

“I can’t get enough of you,” you murmured into her skin.

“You feel so good, sweet girl,” she gasped when your lips made contact with her again.

You pushed her panties aside, slow to touch her, wanting to draw it out as long as possible. If you gave in too quickly you’d take too much. You wanted her falling apart, the way you had, until your name was burned on her tongue.

You collected her wetness, running a finger through her folds. Her breathing stuttered, chest heaving against your mouth. You circled her clit, slow as you lent back, watching her face contort in pleasure. Her lips were smiling, eyes fluttering shut. Your hand slipped down again, finger hovering at her entrance. She looked up at you again.

“Can I?” you asked.

“If you don’t, I’ll be sorely disappointed,” she replied, voice husky.

You smiled down at her, spread out beneath you. With strong hand you tore her underwear off, biting down on her pulse point. Your fingers found her entrance again, lingering just a moment before you pushed in, her arousal making it easier than you would have thought. A soft sigh fell through parted lips and her eyelids fluttered shut again.

Slowly pumping in and out of her you waited until her annoyed gaze found you again. You grinned, pressing a second finger in. You curled them and your name was nothing but a filthy moan on her lips.

You stroked her, thumb finding her clit again. She was writing under your touch, hips rocking against your hand, small noises coming from her. Her hands were fisting her comforter and there was a flush over her chest.

You watched her fall apart beneath you. Her internal walls clamped down on your fingers, your name a breathless sigh, fingers tightening, body going still. You eased her through it, drawing it out as long as you could. Her muscles relaxed, looking up at you with a sleepy smile. You removed your hands from between her legs, tongue lapping at your fingers, tasting her on your skin.

Her eyes began to smoulder, looking up at you. With grasping hands she pulled you down, unbalancing you until both your hands landed either side of her head, catching your weight before you crushed her. She drew you down into a kiss, stealing your breath, sending your head reeling all over again.

“You’re a dream, sweet girl,” she murmured against your lips, “I’m never letting you go.”

You kissed her again before rolling off her, sitting on her plush comforter. Her fingers trailed up your bare thigh, making you shiver under her touch.

“Are you tired?” she asked, voice low, like a whisper caressing over your skin.

“No,” you replied.

“Then let me wear you out, sweet girl.”

When you woke in the morning, the bed was empty, still warm under your touch and more comfortable than the twin bed you’d been sleeping in for the last few months. You sat up, stretching your aching body before brushing the sleep from your eyes. The slant of light said it was late morning. Unsurprising, given Billie had kept you up until the early hours of the morning. The scent of coffee was on the air and you smiled, hearing someone moving downside.

You hunted through the room, finding a soft cashmere sweater. Pulling it on, it hit mid thigh, just enough to cover you but not enough to not be tempting to the insatiable woman. On bare feet you padded down the stairs. Rounding the banister, following your nose, you practically skipped into the kitchen.

You stumbled to a halt, finding a familiar face staring back at you, eyes widening in surprise. Billie turned in her seat, lips quirking up into a smile as her eyes swept over your body.

“Mom?”

You felt your face heat up, taking a step back. She was sitting at the kitchen island, the exact island you’d been sitting on, naked, just a few hours before.

“Darling, what are you doing here?” she asked, “did you spend the night here?”

“Uh…” You looked to Billie, not sure how to answer, “yeah I did.”

“I hope you didn’t bother Billie. She was meant to meet me this morning but when she didn’t show up I had to come hunt her down,” she said.

“She was no bother,” Billie replied, smiling at you over the rim of her coffee cup.

“I thought I was interrupting you after a wild night of passion,” your mother laughed, “with all those clothes scattered around your kitchen.”

“I should… go,” you said, not wanting to think about Billie telling your mother about your night with her.

Only your clothes were bundled up on the counter and you had no way of getting them without making it clear Billie’s night of passion had included you.

“You didn’t interrupt them, did you darling?” she asked, a tinkling laugh tacked on to the end.

“Hardly,” Billie replied.

Your mother was smiling at you and you were frozen and Billie was being no help. You stared helplessly back before your mother’s eyes darted to Billie then the pile of clothes then back to you. You held your breath.

“Darling, you didn’t,” she sighed.

“I… It wasn’t…” You didn’t know how to even begin to end those sentences.

“It appears as if we’ve been busted,” Billie said.

She stood from her barstool, sauntering towards you. Looping an arm around your waist, she pulled you into her body, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. It was so tender, nothing like the seduction you’d experienced the night before. Still, you shivered, her touch enough to set you off.

“If you were jealous of me having a friend there were more productive ways of going about getting my attention,” your mother said, interrupting your moment.

“What?” You looked over to her.

“We could have just had a conversation, darling,” she said.

“You think I…” It was hard to wrap your head around, “do you seriously think I slept with Billie to get your attention?”

“What other possible reason could you have?” she asked.

You felt Billie stiffen against you. You curled your arm around her, wanting to shield her from your mother’s accusations. Glaring at her, you hardened.

“Maybe because I wanted to. God, Mom, not everything is about you,” you said.

“Alright, I’ll play along with your little fantasy,” she said, giving you one of those indulgent smiles you remembered from childhood, “but darling, until you choose to grow up and act like an adult, not everyone is going to be so forgiving.”

“I think you should go,” you said, voice hardening.

“Why on earth would I do that, darling?” she asked.

“Because I’m hoping Billie will fuck me over the top of that counter your sitting at and it’ll be a little awkward if you’re still here when she does,” you replied.

Your mother’s face blanched of colour and she was quick to climb to her feet, muttering something about another meeting she had to get to as she hustled out of there. Billie didn’t bother saying anything, only watching her leave as you kept her close to you. The door slammed behind her retreating back.

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” she murmured.

“Do what?” you asked, looking down at her, “I’m free all day and would quite like it if you fucked me on every available surface in this house.”

She kissed you, long and deep, laughing into your mouth. You pulled her closer, your hands finding her hips as you guided her into the kitchen, pressing her against the kitchen island.

“If you do, I’ll return the favour,” you said.

“You don’t have to convince me,” she murmured, “I’d do anything you asked of me, sweet girl.”

And so she did.

#billie dean howard x reader #billie dean howard imagine #billie dean howard #ahs imagine

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dreamypqulson · 1 year

Text

— and i know we got some potential, cause that look you gave me was so gentle

summary: cordelia tutors you when you fall behind in your herbal class unbeknownst to her that the reason your so lost is because you can't take your mind off of her.

pairing: cordelia goode x reader

word count: 1200

a/n: i know i haven’t posted in awhile and i have requests that i have to write but this was just a little scrap that i’m deciding to post so nobody forgets about me! :)

It was awful, really. And you felt bad for it. For wasting her time. This is not going to help. If you needed some extra help in your herbal class, then you need assistance from Zoe, or Queenie, or Myrtle, someone who is not this woman.

It was comical, and you almost laughed right in her face when she ask you if you wanted her to tutor you later in the evening. You didn't need help. You were a smart and powerful which. You just needed her out of you head. There was too much of her to even pay attention to the task at hand.

And it hurt too. There was no denying that. With the many obvious signs that she was helplessly in love with you, you ignored them all. She's the supreme for god sakes. She was so close yet felt so out of your reach.

You were just wasting time in this goddamn greenhouse. Every minute with her counts, but right now, you were just staring straight at the wall behind her, daydreaming of what you could be doing instead. What— no, who you could be kissing and showing you truth to.

You hear her snapping and it pulls you out of your deep trances. It's honey brown eyes and hair golden in the moonlight that's shining through the roof window that you notice first. "Are you even listening?" She doesn't sound annoyed, but she's clearly had enough of this. All this. What even is this?

"I'm sorry, Miss Cordelia. I am, I just—"

"You don't have to call me that, ya know." It hurts too much to not call you it. If you call her Cordelia then it seems to real. She's not your mentor, not your supreme, she's Cordelia. And so you stand behind that Miss Cordelia barrier that you build. The one that Cordelia tries so hard to break down.

"I know." As you stare into her eyes so warm that you feel as though your melting, as they soften as they stare back at you, she cups you heated cheeks. You know that she feels how hot they are, you know that she knows what is going on with you, but still, she asks,

"What's really going on? You're one of my strongest witches, sweetie."

You truly want to tell her that she's so distracting because you've unwillingly fell in love with her. Because, then, maybe you'll be able to pay better attention in class. But instead you tell her, "I just haven't been sleeping right," sugarcoating your love for her and letting it melt in your mouth.

It's not a complete lie; because you cannot sleep when she walks by your room to assure that you are safe in bed. You cannot sleep when you've see her only an hour before your rest in a simple pajama slip. Milky silk and see-through if it were any thinner.

"We should make you a sleeping potion then." She knows your lying, but she is not going to force you to be honest. That's not what she is here for. She just wants you to be ready. She would wait forever for you to tell her how you feel.

And then she's gathering the ingredients. Patting around the greenhouse as soft as a spring day, and you have to look to see if she is even walking. Look to see that she's not flying around instead of walking like an angel that you could mistake her to be.

She stands behind you and her arms are locking you in between the table and her body. She's wearing a nightgown like every other night and you can feel her breasts press against your back. Your breath hitches and you think she notices because she asks if you're okay. You nod, because you cannot speak, you cannot do anything besides stand there as if you were built with cement.

Her blonde hair falls against your shoulder and you get a strong whiff of her lavender shampoo. She smells so sweet and you feel like you are being embraced by a fresh pastry.

"Do you remember one of the key ingredients for our sleeping potion?" She tests you, because she knows that the day she taught this, her shirt seemed to be just a little shorter cut than usual. She knows you weren't paying attention to sleep and potions and herbs that day.

"Um...," you feel so pathetic for not knowing. So useless. "No, not really."

She smiles still. You can hear it in her voice, "That's just alright. Chamomile is one of the main ingredients." She speaks softly and begins grinding the chamomile into the mixture. Her freckled arms rub against yours with each movement. Bare skin against bare, and you yearn for more.

These emotions are too strong for your body to handle. They cannot fit as you are too much already filled with Cordelia. You are going to explode if you don't let it out somehow. And so you stand there and permit silent tears to roll down your face.

You assume that Cordelia won't notice, but a warm tear ends up landing on her hand and she cannot stand there and pretend that it didn't happen. She doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but the only way she knows to make everything better is to be upfront and loving.

She grabs your waist, gently, and turns your body so your facing her now. It's so close; you can feel her soft breath against your face and her legs are practically intertwined with yours. "I don't want you to lie to me anymore," she doesn't sound angry still, just so desperate. And you know you look a mess right now but she thinks you're so pretty.

"I don't think I know how to not do that," more tears fall down. You are so afraid because you know that it's too far this time. There is no going back to what you once were with Cordelia just an hour before this.

"Show me?"

Your trembling hands cup her cheeks this time, smooth beneath your palm. You don't want to pull her forward, you need her to show you that she isn't the supreme right now. You always need her.

"It's okay," she merely whispers, nods, and smiles softly. And you forget about you fears, about the sugarcoated emotions on your tongue. You lean forward and everything's so fuzzy and blurry around you; like a fever dream, but it's oh so real.

She moans into your mouth. She sounds so pretty against you. It's the perfect combination of her vanilla chapstick and your strawberry one to create the sweetest taste.

Her hands are still on your waist and she pulls back, but only her lips so she can rest her forehead against yours. "Not so scary, right?"

"Well i'm scared that I just fucked everything up."

She shakes her head and smiles delicately at you. "You didn't fuck anything up. I would've been out the door by now." Your laugh and hers are a soft melody that echo against the four walls of the greenhouse. She grabs your hands and tangles her slim fingers with yours. "I. love. you."

"Promise me that it's what you want." You still can't believe it. But you can't have it if it's not real.

"It's what I always wanted. What I wanted when I met you. What I want, still, now."

"Then you should know that I always wanted it. I love you too. So much."

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oh-mydarling · 9 months

Text

GIRLS' NIGHT

a drunken reader returns home to her lovers

pairing: Billie Dean Howard x Cordelia Goode x Reader

Word count: 2.2K

warnings: alcohol, vomiting (not explicitly mentioned)

It was a Friday night at the coven and like always, that meant that you witches dispersed across the city. Some of the younger girls headed home for the weekend with their families and the older ones typically hung around, out drinking and clubbing every weekend.

You weren’t either, really. You didn’t have much of a family to go home to; the coven was your family as far as you were concerned. And as for the drinking, you weren’t a massive fan. Your ideal weekend was spent with your two loves in the quiet of the New Orleans mansion, reading and napping the stressful week away.

The three of you did have an agreement that while you all wanted nothing more than to spend every waking moment together, it was good to have space and do things separately. After all, it made it all the more rewarding when you came back to each other after a day apart and got to relish in each others’ presence.

So, on this occasion, you were getting ready to head out with Madison and Zoe. You were perched at the vanity, adding the finishing touches to your makeup while Billie lay sprawled on the bed, watching you intently in the mirror. She was still dressed from work, letting you have the bathroom before she showered and changed for the evening, but her feet were up in the air with her little pink slippers on, softening her appearance.

Delia was elsewhere in the coven, pottering around and preparing to close down for the night. There were a few young witches whose weekend plans had fallen through, and she had organised a movie night for them which she would be attending; right now, she was pouring popcorn into bowls and arranging snack platters for the girls. She felt awful that their weekends hadn’t gone to plan, and so she was eager to make them happy.

“You look perfect, angel” Billie drawled out, coming up behind you to give you a kiss on the cheek, “I wish I was coming so I could look at you across the bar,” she smirked, winking at you in the mirror. You laughed, blushing at her affection, “I wish you were coming too, Bill.”

“You’re gonna have a lovely time, baby, I’m excited for you!”

You laughed, “Not as lovely as you! A cute movie night with the little ones,” you teased, getting up from your chair to meet the other girls downstairs.

“Oh ha ha,” she laughed sarcastically, following you down the stairs into the kitchen to say bye to Delia.

Your supreme looked up from where she was working in the kitchen, giving you a soft smile and holding out an arm to bring you in, “you look beautiful sweetheart,” she smiled, kissing your temple, “thank you Delia!” You smiled, excited to go out after their compliments raised your ego.

“Look at our girl, do a twirl y/n!” Billie said, clapping her hands excitedly as you twirled for them, laughing lightly at their silliness.

“Now I have to go, they’re waiting for me!” You laughed, trying to escape them after they had captured you in their arms, covering you with kisses.

Your heels clicked down the hallway, running towards the girls as they waited for you by the door, Madison rolling her eyes at the three of you.

“Let’s go, y/n!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!”

You arrived at the bar and sat down at a corner table, sending a quick text to your girlfriends to let them know you arrived. Madison had gone to the bar to get you a drink, and you already regretted allowing her to choose your beverage, knowing she would likely be getting you whatever she thought would get you drunk the fastest.

Zoe was at the bar with her, ordering herself what you predicted to be a vodka coke, her usual drink of choice.

When they both returned, you got straight into the gossip, Madison giving you the gory details of her latest endeavours with her co-stars and Zoe gushing about Kyle. They always gave you the opportunity to chat about your relationship, but for some reason you never really wanted to. It felt weird to discuss the intimate details of your love life with the other witches, knowing you would be exposing their supreme, although she would’t have minded, of course.

You hadn’t really been keeping an eye on your drink; once you had had a few, you became so engrossed in conversation and telling your friends how much you loved them that you didn’t quite realise how often Madi made a trip to the bar to refill your drink. You didn’t even question it when when she mixed up the choice, preferring to mix alcohols instead of keeping you to one.

Some would perhaps call it a friendly sabotage, but you knew she just wanted you to let loose for one. And let loose you did. After getting kicked out of the bar for refusing to stop dancing on the table, the other girls had finally admitted defeat and decided they had better walk you home.

Back at the coven, none of the witches had really heard your approach, all too engrossed in the movie they were watching, although Billie would definitely deny that later.

They didn’t hear you stumble into the gates, trying and failing to push them open, nor did they hear you laughing your way up the front steps and struggling with your key in the lock while Madison rolled her eyes.

They did, however, hear you run into the lounge where the movie was playing, flicking on the lights and gaining the attention of every witch in the room.

Their heads whipped round at you stood in the doorway with a goofy smile, Cordelia frowning at you confusedly while Billie smirked.

“Hello everybody,” you grinned, “I love you all!” You shouted, making Billie snort.

The younger girls giggled, looking nervously at each other; this wasn’t what they had predicted for movie night, that was for sure.

Cordelia hopped up from her seat snuggled with the girls, ushering you out of the room while everyone burst into a fit of giggles, ‘okay, lets go and get you some water,” she mumbled, shooting a glare at Zoe and Madison.

Billie followed shortly after, switching the light back off to continue the movie while she wandered into the kitchen where you now were.

You had climbed up onto a chair of the kitchen table, arms in the air and swaying slightly while singing very badly. Poor Cordelia was fretting, holding onto the bottom of your skirt to keep you stable and trying to coax you down from the chair, while simultaneously scolding Zoe and Madison for being so irresponsible with you.

Bille sauntered in and leant against the doorway with her arms crossed, smirking at you. When you caught sight of her, you shrieked, pointing towards her, “my billie! There’s my silly billie!” You laughed hysterically, making her chuckle while Cordelia sighed, having now let you go so she could rub her temples in stress.

Billie came towards you, certain she would have more success than Cordelia in getting you down from the chair because she was laughing along with you, “well hello baby,” she laughed, “it looks like you had a nice time!”

She had her hands on your waist, looking up at you with the sweetest smile.

You were laughing, head thrown back and glowing under the light of the kitchen, and Bille swore her heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t often you let yourself relax this much, and not only was it hilarious, but it warmed her through to know that you were enjoying yourself and felt safe enough to let your hair down.

“Billie, get her down,” Cordelia mumbled from where she stood against the kitchen counter, watching nervously in case you slipped.

“It’s okay Delia,” the medium smiled over at her, offering reassurance that she had you, you wouldn’t fall.

Zoe and Madison had skulked out of the kitchen, not wanting to be blamed for your silly behaviour, and so just the three of you remained in the kitchen now while the other witches supervised the remainders of movie night with the youngest girls.

“Baby, why don’t you come down and we can go to bed?” Cordelia asked, approaching you and holding out a hand next to Billie, which you quickly accepted, mistaking her tone for flirting, “ooh bed time, don’t mind if I do,” you leapt down and wiggled your eyebrows, causing Billie to snort once again, absolutely loving this side of you.

You pressed your lips sloppily against the supreme’s mouth, and she entertained you, despite the taste of alcohol that coated your tongue.

Billie cleared her throat next to you, “I hope you’re not forgetting me, babydoll,” she winked, causing you to pull away from Cordelia and plant your lips on hers next, giggling into the kiss.

You stopped suddenly, growing serious as you stared between them both, “I want fries.” You stated, not wavering in the slightest.

Cordelia laughed lightly, heading to the freezer to take them out and put them in the oven, “coming right up!”

“Thanks mommy!” You grinned cheekily, plopping yourself down on the kitchen chair you were once stood on.

“Oh Jesus,” Cordelia mumbled, while Billie lost her shit, cackling in a way you hadn’t heard for quite some time, which then had you doubled over laughing at her.

“What am I gonna do with you!” Delia laughed, coming over to sit next to you.

After lots of giggles and lots of nonsense from you, your fries were finally ready and Billie plated them up for you, handing them over with a wry smile.

You decided to skip the table and walked off down the hallway with your plate, leaving both women stood confusedly in your wake, frozen in stupor given the events of the evening.

You had been craving this since you had arrived at the bar; in fact, the drunk food was half the reason you decided to go in the first place, and you just couldn’t wait to take a bite. What you hadn’t considered, though, was the temperature of the food straight out of the oven, and you promptly yelped upon munching a fry and dropped the plate in shock.

The two blondes looked at each other, confused, before silently agreeing to venture out and find the source of the clatter. The sight that they found was definitely not one they anticipated; you were sat on the floor in a heap, plate of fries in front of you, crying silently. When you saw the two women approach, you started wailing, “my fries! My fries!”

Billie was laughing, which made you even more emotional in your drunken state, so Cordelia shot her a glare and sat down next to you, “no baby, don’t worry! They’re okay, see? They’re still on the plate! You can still eat them!”

And with that permission, you didn’t even wait to pick the plate up, instead dining on the fries that now sat on the floor and laughing to yourself at how funny it all was.

Suddenly you stopped munching. Mouth freezing while still half full of food, and you looked up at Cordelia worried. She knew instantly what was about to happen and she dragged you up to stand, “ooookay, let’s go to the bathroom, let’s go!”

She escorted you hurriedly up the stairs and into the ensuite where you prompted to empty your stomach of your floor fries. Cordelia held your hair back and rubbed circles on your back while Billie was still downstairs, prepping to deal with the inevitable hangover that awaited you.

She filled a jug of water, grabbed a salty snack for your morning cravings, and gathered up all the painkillers she could find; Cordelia would know which ones were best for you.

When she entered the bedroom, she could hear you and your girlfriend talking quietly, and after setting the items down she followed the sound into the bathroom, where she found you laying on the tile floor complaining to Delia about how you would never go out again.

“Poor baby,” Billie cooed, sitting down on the floor so she could stroke your hair. Delia was perched on the side of the bath, watching you carefully in case you needed to throw up again.

When you did muster up enough energy to move, they helped steady you as you walked out of the bathroom towards your bed, where you sat up against the pillows watching them move around the room, preparing themselves for an evening of sleep.

Cordelia wore silk pyjamas, applying moisturiser in the vanity and brushing her hair. Billie was gathering up her clothes, putting her heels back in the wardrobe, and brushing her teeth at the same time.

You sat silently, watching them both and incredibly grateful that they were the people you got to come home to.

Eventually, they made their way into bed with you, nestling you between them so they could keep an eye on you overnight. Cordelia handed you water she had poured from the jug and Billie stroke your hair, coaxing you to sleep; she knew you were always wired when you came home drunk, but she also knew how grateful you would be for a good night of sleep.

The next morning, the sun cracked through the window in the gap Cordelia had left in the curtains, and it felt to you as though it had penetrated your skull. Your head was pounding and the room was spinning, but at least you had your two loves to hold you still.

taglist: @lanawinters-ily

#billie dean howard x reader #Cordelia Goode x reader #billie dean howard x Cordelia Goode #Sarah Paulson #Sarah Paulson x reader #ahs #ahs coven #has murder house #billie dean howard #Cordelia Goode #american horror story #cordelia goode

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ahsgirlblogger · 4 months

Text

Billie dean howard

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marsthebabie · 6 months

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Masterlist U⁠^⁠ｪ⁠^⁠U

Marvel

Natasha Romanoff

Cuddles

Wanda Maximoff

Wandanat x Reader

Puppy Love part 1

Nightmares

Little Angel

American Horror Story

Cordelia Goode

Princess

Wilhelmina Venable

Wilhelmina Venable and Cordelia Goode

Work trip

Wilhelmina Venable x Ally Mayfair-Richards

Rescue

Lana Winters

Alone

Ally May-fair Richards

Owie

Billie Dean Howard

Sick

Hypodermic Sally

RESIDENT EVIL

Alcina Dimitrescu

Slipping

Donna Beneviento

Playdate

Mother Miranda

RE8 Women

RE8 Women finding out your a little

OTHER

Diane Sherman

Angelique Bouchard

Alma Pereruine

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billiedean · 24 days

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the apocalypse trio

#american horror story #ahs #ahs apocalypse #ahs coven #ahs murder house #sarah paulson #wilhemina venable #cordelia goode #billie dean howard #fanart #traditional art #ahs fandom is so dead this'll probably flop but eh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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imagines-ahs · 4 days

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Chapter Forty-Eight: Bisque.

Summary: Wilhemina Venable felt it was finally time to leave Kineros Robotics and get a job with people who weren’t such morons like Jeff and Mutt. What she didn’t expect, however, was for her new boss to be so damn insufferable. She didn’t expect to fall in love with her, either.

Tag List: @mayfair-fleur @mistysswampmud @paulsonsratched @msvenablx @notmeellaannyy @rwoolfe @golddustdykes @lovingsarah @slut-for-sarah @geinobinarie (message me to be added if interested!)

“Affection memories are the best kind,” Billie’s words came as soft as melted butter. “How old were you?”

I’m not sure I have many of those. “Six.”

“I wish I could have seen young Wilhemina eating cheesecake for the first time.” The corners of Billie Dean’s sparkled lightly. Venable couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as she took another bite.

“Do you have any pictures from when you were young?”

Even though the question seemed a little odd, Billie had learned not to judge. It was safe to say their experiences in life had been very different, even though they shared their fair amount of similarities. She nodded as she took a bite. “I do. Why?”

Wilhemina shrugged. “I’d like to see them… sometime. If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course.” Weird. But it made sense… Billie did want to see younger Venable, too.

Wilhemina nodded slowly as she looked down at her plate. I think I might have a few pictures from school… Granted, she had always hated taking pictures. Brown eyes moved back up to Billie Dean, and a small smile graced Venable’s features as she realized the small amount of cream cheese on Billie’s face. “Your chin,” she said softly.

“Hm?”

“You have cream cheese on your chin.”

“Oh.” Billie let her fork go and reached for a napkin. She chuckled as she wiped her face clean. “Thank you.” Embarrassing.

“Of course.” I can’t believe the nerve of her to look good even with cream cheese on her face.

Carefully taking one last bite, Billie Dean set her plate aside. She licked her lips and made sure no bits were left on her cheeks. Venable still savored the dessert, and so honey eyes watched her. In no time, they were back at the living room with the dishwasher all loaded and running. Purpura sleepily watched them from her spot at the center table.

“That was good,” Billie sat back down at the couch, right beside Wilhemina, whom nodded.

“When did you first find out you had a talent for finding good food?” Venable teased as she leaned back against the couch. Billie Dean let out a small chuckle. Is it safe to feel that comfortable around her? That was a constant doubt in her mind.

“I think it’s a talent only for you.” She reached for one of Venable’s legs, hand resting on her knee and caressing it on top of the pants.

Wilhemina smiled to herself. Floratta Blue permeated her house in comforting tones of coral. “If you say so…”

“Mhm.” Leaning closer, Billie kissed Wilhemina’s cheek before resting back on the couch.

With the corners of her eyes sparkling lightly, Venable turned her head to stare at Billie Dean. The caresses on her leg no longer felt foreign. Such a short time… Things with Emma had taken so long so develop to whatever it had been. How was any of that even happening with Billie? “Will you help me set my iPad?”

“Of course.”

Afternoon dawned and night arrived pretty fast. Shades of orange invaded the living room as Billie Dean was just done helping Wilhemina set everything, and then Venable got up to turn the light on. The iPad now lay charging on the corner table, already with the purple case on and a few apps installed. Honey eyes watched as Wilhemina caressed Purpura on her way back to the couch, and as she was about to comment on her trousers, her phone began to ring from her purse. Brown eyes moved to hers. Billie Dean bit her lower lip and wished the name on the screen didn’t start with the letter ‘E’—thankfully, it didn’t. “It’s Jenny,” she told Venable before walking to the bathroom, receiving a nod back. Closing the door, Billie quickly picked it up. “Hello?”

“Stop ignoring my texts!” From the other side, Jenny yelled teasingly.

“I’m not!” Billie said with a chuckle. “I just haven’t been around my phone today.”

“Oh! Oh—oh! You’re at her house?!”

Laughing, Billie Dean moved to sit down on the closed toilet lid. “Yes, I am.” Her words were quiet, low.

“Did you spend the night? Oh, of course you did!”

Billie couldn’t help but find Jenny’s excitement funny. “I did, but nothing happened.”

“How come?”

“We’re going slow.”

“Did you make out at least?”

“Jenny!”

“Come on!”

Smiling to herself, Billie Dean nodded on the phone. “Yes…”

“So she does have feelings for you, huh?”

“… yes.”

“Where’s my ‘You told me, Jenny. You’re always right, Jenny. I should give you a raise, Jenny.’?”

“Shut up!” Billie chuckled yet again, hearing as the girl did the same on the other side of the phone. After a moment, she bit her lip. Their laughs died down. “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome,” Jenny’s voice came softly, now. “On a more serious note, is everything alright? Is she treating you well and not like she’s made out of ice?”

Billie Dean shook her head. “She’s the sweetest, Jenny…”

“If you say so.”

“Truly.”

“I believe you.”

Billie licked her lips as she thought. “Was Emma alright? Yesterday, when you dropped her home?”Silence. Billie Dean felt Jenny shifting on the other side of the line. Oh no.

“She was just drunk. Do you really want to talk about her now?”

“She said something about Terry, didn’t she?”

Jenny took a deep breath. Billie gulped. “She said a lot of things…”

“Jenny…”

“Yes. She did talk about Terry.”

“Fuck,” Billie breathed out. Closing her eyes, she reached to massage her temple. “What did she say?”

“I don’t remember exactly—or rather, I didn’t understand it very well— but it was something that had to do with telling Wilhemina about her.” Billie Dean groaned. “She was drunk and very much mad at you, I doubt she’ll do anything,” Jenny tried to amend. It didn’t help much.

“She thinks she knows what happened, and she’s assuming that’s what I am doing with Wilhemina.”

“Yeah…”

“That’s not it, Jenny. Terry wasn’t even fired because of that!” Her voice raised a little. Billie quickly took notice of it and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

From the other side, Jenny gulped. “I know, Billie… but you do know that a few people can’t help but make that connection, right?”

Billie Dean took a deep breath. “Yes…” And it fucking sucks. Just another thing people assumed about her life, as if she didn’t have enough of that already.

“Have you told her about it?”

“Wilhemina?”

“Yes.”

“No… not yet.” Honey eyes fell down. Billie sucked on her lower lip. “I think it’s too soon.”

“Billie, it’s either you telling her or her possibly finding it out through Emma… and I really don’t think you’d like the latter.”

“I know,” Billie Dean murmured. “What else did she tell you?”

“She just cried a lot… and called you a bunch of names.”

“Fair,” she murmured again.

“Not really, but we’ll not dwell on that right now.” Billie nodded to herself. “Are you spending the weekend there?”

“Yes.” Taking a deep breath, Billie Dean sat up a little better. “Why?”

“Just asking. The reports about the party should be out on Monday, and we need to approve the pictures for the special.”

“Right. You can ask them to e-mail me the material.” I desperately need a break from working. The end of the year was always hectic for Billie Dean.

“Already did. They’re waiting on an answer until Monday, noon.”

“Perfect. We can do it in the morning, then.”

“Mhm.”

“Do I need to do anything this weekend?” Billie had found Jenny’s question a little odd, so it was always best to ask.

“Not really. I was just curious about you and her,” the girl chuckled.

“Oh.” Chuckling back, Billie got up from the lid. That’s good at least. “I’ll tell you more on Monday.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting excitedly as the reason for all of that to be happening I am.”

“Silly,” Billie Dean teased back. “Alright, I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Alright. Have a good weekend, wink wink.”

“You too, you annoying human.” With both of them laughing, Billie ended the call. She looked up to the mirror and fixed her clothes and hair, eyes glued on herself. She sighed. She’ll think I do that with everybody. Maybe that talk could wait until Monday… or at least until tomorrow. Billie Dean decided she wouldn’t think about it now. At least not for the night. She still had another whole day before the next week, after all.

Quietly stepping out of the bathroom, Billie Dean walked back to the living room; she didn’t find Venable there. “Wilhie?”

“In the bedroom,” Venable called back.

Quietly still, Billie Dean followed that way. As she got to the room, her eyes were graced with the lovely image of Wilhemina, sitting on the bed with Purpura and a tube of lotion by her side. Lavender notes invaded her nostrils. Billie smiled. “Are you moisturizing her?” She remembered Venable had said something about it, once.

Wilhemina nodded. She reached for more of the lotion and gently caressed the cat’s back, which purred lowly. “Winter makes her skin drier.”

“She’s so well behaved.” Carefully, Billie sat down beside Wilhemina. She watched as her hands worked on Purpura, so gentle and caring. And with such long and dainty fingers… not now. Billie Dean licked her lips and looked back up at Venable, watching the way she was so absolutely focused on the cat, with lips curling up and eyes so soft above the sky of freckles there. To be loved by her must be holy. She could only wish to experience that one day. “Can I help?”

Taken positively aback, deep brown eyes met honey ones. “To moisturize her?” Billie nodded. Venable opened a smile. “Of course.” She reached for the lotion and pushed it closer to Billie Dean. “Here. Her chest is missing still.

“Okay.” As gentle as she could, Billie Dean scooped a small amount of lotion on her fingers and began to caress the cat’s chest, right underneath her neck. Purpura purred a little louder, shifting on the mattress to accommodate the hand. Billie smiled, and as she looked up at Wilhemina, their eyes and smile met again. Air seemed scarce all of a sudden. I want to give her the world.

I love her. When had anyone ever treated Purpura like that? When had anyone wanted to be a part of her life like that? How scary? How good? How foreign? “She likes it,” Wilhemina said, voice as soft as melted butter. “She likes you.”

With a tiny chuckle, Billie Dean used all of her strength to take her eyes off of Venable and look back at the cat. “I like her, too.” With her free hand and mindful of her nails, she reached to pet the cat’s head. Purpura leaned against it, eyes closed. Another chuckle left Billie’s lips.

With her teeth trapping her lips in order not to allow them to smile too big, Wilhemina kept on watching them. She pulled her hands away and wiped them on a towel she had taken, cleaning them of the lotion. After a minute or two, she spoke again. “Thank you for being so nice to her…”

“Of course,” Billie Dean’s eyebrows drew closer in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Venable shrugged. My mind clearly works wrong. “It’s just that… a few people can be mean because of—of how she looks.” Just like they are to me. She nervously licked her lips. “You know… the skin.”

Billie’s frown grew for a second until she understood just how deep the topic actually was. Her eyes reflected nothing but kindness now. “There’s nothing wrong with how she looks, Wilhie… and even if there were, quote on quote, something wrong about her, that wouldn’t be an excuse for people to treat her in any way but kind.” Gulping again, Wilhemina nodded. She took a discrete deep breath and clutched the small purple towel on her lap. Billie Dean took notice of it. She’s nervous. With her own heart picking up slightly in speed, Billie looked down at the cat for a second before looking back up at Venable. Her lips curled up on the corners. “Besides, I think she looks really cute.”

This time, it was Wilhemina who looked away from Billie Dean. Her cheeks tinted softly. The underlying tone of their conversation was very much explicit. “R-really?”

“Oh, yeah.” She knows I’m talking about her. There was no need to point that out. Billie had been learning compliments and words of affirmation were better left in the murky, at least for now. “More than cute, I think she’s beautiful.” Clutching the towel in her hands a little harsher, Venable nodded quietly. She slowly looked back up, and when her eyes met honey ones again, she found a look in them that left her warm all over, sweet all over, comforted all over. Billie Dean’s smile grew lovingly, pouring affection all over. Carefully not to disturb Purpura, Billie scooted closer to Wilhemina, hand reaching to cup one of her cheeks—slowly, so she could ask her to stop if she wanted. She didn’t. Billie Dean’s thumb caressed the plump crimson skin with so much tenderness it nearly hurt. Venable sighed lowly. “You’re beautiful, Wilhemina,” she whispered, voice as soft as a cozy blanket and as sweet as honey. She could feel Venable’s breath against her lips, faster than usual and oh so inviting. So she kissed her, slow and gentle and affectionate.

With blood rushing up to her head, Wilhemina felt her hands trembling against the cloth. She did the best she could and let go of it, reaching to caress Billie’s arm as she kissed her back. Their lips danced slowly and passionately, and for a split second Venable felt herself losing touch with the parts that could be so damn horrible to her. Her lips picked up in intensity, and she subconsciously scooted closer to Billie Dean, too. Purpura meowed from between them, therefore causing the kiss the break. Wilhemina took a deep breath as she stared at Billie’s eyes, lips rosy and tingling deliciously. Billie Dean watched her closely, thumb still tracing Venable’s cheek. I’m terrified things will change. Reality set back in. Wilhemina gulped. “I’m n-not used to that…”

“Compliments?” Venable nodded. I know. Billie smiled sadly. “Any chance I can help you get used to them?”

With her cheeks still red and hot, Wilhemina bit her lower lip. Hesitantly, she nodded. “It might take a while…” It might never happen at all.

With the softest smile she could manage, Billie Dean reached to tuck a lock of red hair behind Venable’s ear. “That’s okay,” she whispered. Billie felt as dark brown eyes fell down to her lips, so she leaned closer and kissed Wilhemina again, which got herself a sweet sigh. Billie Dean pulled away just enough to stare at Venable. “I’m not in a rush.” She had said that already, about many things, but she would never grow tired of easing Wilhemina’s mind.

And yet again, there she was… bare, raw in front of Billie. Vulnerable, and yet she didn’t feel so scared. That’s scary. Would that become something usual for her?

Sunday morning arrived as sweetly as the past night had been; Wilhemina found herself falling asleep tangled in Billie Dean’s arms again, this time receiving kisses on the forehead until she, eventually, allowed sleep to win. When the first ray of sunlight slipped through the curtains, their limbs were still tangled and their skin was still warm from their embrace. It was Venable who opened her eyes first, eyebrows close as she frowned from the light. When her vision wasn’t so blurry anymore, Wilhemina focused on whatever was in front of her—it happened to be Billie, still fast asleep and with her lips inches away from her own. She took a deep breath. I kissed her. Venable licked her own chapped lips, body falling slowly into reality as it got aware of its position: legs tangled with Billie Dean’s, an arm that wasn’t its own wrapped around her waist, feet touching, blonde hair tickling her face. How lovely was it, to not wake up alone? To not always be by herself? Wilhemina took another deep breath, brown oceans examining the face in front of hers. Is she even real? Venable still had her doubts. Billie frowned as a strand of her own hair tickled her face, nose scrunching up. Wilhemina smiled to herself and reached to pull the strand of hair away and behind Billie Dean’s ear. As she pulled her hand away, she couldn’t help but brush her knuckles against Billie’s face, caressing her peachy skin. I shouldn’t be so attached already. How could she not? When that woman treated her and made her feel a way she had never experienced before? Venable watched as Billie Dean began to slowly open her eyes. She smiled sleepily to herself.

Letting out a small sigh, Billie hummed as her vision came into consciousness, body snuggling closer to whatever was providing it warmth. Lavender soon clouded her senses, and so Billie Dean finally fixated on the face in front of her. Her lips mirrored Wilhemina’s sleepy smile. Was she watching me? “Hi,” Billie croaked out, as sweet as she could manage in her state.

“Hello.” Venable’s smile grew as her cheeks began to tint for some reason. Down her legs, she felt as Billie Dean’s foot caressed her own. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Billie shook her head before hiding her face against the pillow to cover a yawn. Her hand reached for Wilhemina’s waist and pulled her closer. “You didn’t.” She looked back at dark brown eyes. “I wouldn’t have minded if you had, though.”

Venable nodded at the words as spidery fingers slowly moved up to cup Billie Dean’s cheek. Wilhemina just stared at her for a minute before taking a deep breath. “I like waking up next to you,” she whispered. I didn’t know not being alone could ever feel this way.

Coral fingernails scratched softly against the cloth of Venable’s purple pajamas, caressing her waist and the small of her back. Billie Dean leaned closer and kissed her gently on the lips. I hope my breath is tolerable. “I like waking up next to you, too,” she whispered back. Wilhemina stared at her like she was made of all the stars in the universe, eyes shining and all. Billie couldn’t help but pull her even closer, and this time Venable’s hand fell down to her waist and pulled her closer, too. Their bodies left no space between each other, breaths mingling. “I sleep pretty well when I’m with you… you’re warm and you don’t snore,” she teased.

Chuckling lowly, Wilhemina bit her lip to stop her smile from growing too much. “Why, thank you. I could say the same, but your feet are freezing,” she teased back, because being playful didn’t come with a sentence of being punished when it came to Billie Dean.

With a laugh, Billie made sure her feet were well tangled with Venable’s. “I don’t know why they’re so cold.”

Wilhemina hummed. She reached for the hand that caressed her waist and tangled her fingers with Billie Dean’s. “So is your hand.” She caressed the cold digits between her own, trying to warm them up. “Are you cold?”

“Not really.” Billie licked her lips, and part of her heart still melted every time she was reminded of how just how caring Venable was with her. “Are you?”

“No,” Wilhemina shook her head. She let go of Billie Dean’s hand and now caressed her arm, even though Billie had said she wasn’t cold. Billie Dean didn’t mind, not at all. She kept a smile printed on her lips. “Are you hungry?” I should have bought some pastries.

“A little.”

“I can cook us an omelette, or maybe I can go out and get a few pastries, if you’d like. There’s this—“

“Wilhie,” Billie Dean cut Venable gently just as she was about to start lifting the covers to get out of bed. Wilhemina looked at her. “Can we cuddle a little?”

With her cheeks turning purple, Venable nodded. She blinked twice before slowly snuggling closer to Billie again. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Billie Dean shook her head. Hadn’t it been Wilhemina, she could have thought that maybe there was something wrong with her, but being Venable, she knew she was simply eager to please. “You don’t have to apologize,” she whispered back. Her hand found its place on Wilhemina’s waist again, caressing it. She’s always so anxious.

With a nod, brown eyes fell down. Venable took a deep breath. I’m so idiotic. The deprecating voice was already up and running. She gulped and looked back at honey oceans, legs tangling back with Billie’s. After a moment, she spoke again. “I like cuddling with you,” she said, because part of her felt like Billie Dean could maybe be thinking otherwise, and she didn’t want to ever cause Billie Dean to think like that.

She’s worried. Opening a smile, Billie reached to pull a strand of read hair away from Venable’s eyes. “I know, darling. I didn’t think otherwise.”

Darling. Wilhemina didn’t know if her stomach would ever stop turning with the pet name. This is the second time she’s called me that. How delicious did it feel? “Good,” she murmured somewhat shyly.

Billie Dean hummed back, hand caressing her waist slowly, feeling as it rose and fell with Venable’s breathing. She stared at those chocolate eyes in front of her, watching the way they moved away and back to her own. She’s shy. Her lips curled up softly. “Did you dream of anything?”

Wilhemina shook her head, eyes struggling to stay at brown ones. “Not that I remember. Did you?”

Billie Dean had actually had a dream; she saw a woman, hair red just like Venable’s, face full of suffering and with lines well marked. She cried, but couldn’t speak. Wilhemina didn’t need to know that. “Not really.” Venable hummed. Billie licked her lips, eyes tracing the soft freckles on Wilhemina’s cheeks. “I love your freckles,” she said after a second.

To be stared at like that had never felt good… not until Billie Dean. Venable’s skin grew red still, but not from being uncomfortable. “I’m not a huge fan of them…”

What’s new? Wilhemina didn’t seem to be a huge fan of anything that made her who she was. Billie didn’t need to point that out, but she did keep that in mind. “You always cover them, don’t you?” Venable nodded. Billie Dean opened a sad smile. “I love them,” she repeated.

Wilhemina gulped. She nodded again, eyes falling down before going back up. She licked her sudden dry lips. “Thank you.”

Billie couldn’t help but smile a little more. It was clear Venable wasn’t used to being complimented, or having any kind of intimacy with people, but there was something so sweet about it… so strangely pure, in a way. Most people wouldn’t see it that way, but Billie Dean had never been most people. So she leaned closer and placed a small kiss on Wilhemina’s nose, and then another one on her left cheek, and another one on her right one, right on top of the freckles. Wilhemina blinked twice, and with a chuckle Billie Dean kissed her full on the lips, reaching to cup her face.

Sunday went by with nothing but sweet kisses being shared and a movie or two being watched. When the night began to fall down again, Billie Dean hesitantly went back home, but with the promise of seeing each other on Monday morning. Billie knew she should have talked about Terry; knew she should have brought it up before anyone else had the chance, but how could she when Venable looked at her so lovingly and gave her more trust than she had ever given anyone in a long time? Billie Dean simply didn’t have the guts to do it. And she prayed no one would before she could master the courage to do so.

At night, Wilhemina caught herself missing the warmth of another body next to her. Floratta Blue lingered in the air only slightly, and Venable wished she could smell more of it. Fear clouded her senses before sleep could, trying to trick her, trying to scare her. Wilhemina closed her eyes and thought about Billie; about the kiss they shared just before she entered her car and drove home that evening. Nothing would change in the morning. Nothing would change in the week. Right?

#rabexxpaulson #would you swallow all your pride?#ahs #would you swallow all your pride #wysayp #ahs murder house #ahs apocalypse #ahs hotel #ahs fanfiction #willhemina venable #billie dean x wilhemina venable #billie dean howard #american horror story #ahs fanfic #lesbian fanfiction #lesbian fanfic #lesbian story #lesbian

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thedarklinkfell · 1 month

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Hadn't seen one of these before so here we go! No middle of the road choices, just one vote for your fave. Evan poll [HERE]

#american horror story #ahs #Sarah Paulson #Billie Dean Howard #Lana Winters #Cordelia Foxx #Bette Tattler #Sally McKenna #Audrey Tindall #Ally Mayfair-Richards #Wilhemina Venable

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lanawinters-ily · 9 months

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The Arms of The Angels

The stressors of life take over, and you try to cope alone. But, your girlfriends aren't having any of that. How do they make you feel better?

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x Cordelia Goode x Reader

Word Count: 2000

Warnings: mentions of struggling with mental health

Happy Birthday my sweet @oh-mydarling I love you <3

“I’m worried about her.”

Billie Dean Howard put down her phone (from which she was reading about the latest Kardashian drama) and turned to her girlfriend who had just entered their room.

“Worried about whom, darling?”

Cordelia Goode sighed deeply and flopped onto the bed beside Billie. She began to massage her temples with firm fingers, a tell that she was stressed.

“Our girlfriend, Billie Dean.”

Billie raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at Delia, knowing how much the woman fretted over little things. Most of the time Cordelia could be found stressing out work, her girls, or even news events that had absolutely nothing to do with her.

Once, you had to talk her down from a breakdown over bad weather where Madison and Zoe were holidaying, because she wanted them to have a good time. Every minor inconvenience seemed to send the Supreme into a state, and had so ever since she was a child.

Though this time, she was quite valid in her concern.

“What is it sweetpea?” Billie Dean said gently, taking Delia’s hands away from her temples and holding them in her own.

“She’s not well, and I’m worried she’s going to spiral again.” Cordelia sighed.

“Why baby?”

“She’s going that avoidance thing again, you know, the one she does when she’s starting to struggle.”

Indeed, Billie Dean did know.

Whenever your mental health started to decline, you would separate yourself from the people in your life who you care about. Your excuse would be that you ‘didn’t want to burden them’ but really, it was so you could suffer more in b your own company.

Billie and Delia had dealt with this once before, when you had been only working at the Coven (as Cordelia’s assistant, of course) for 2 months.

Both women had taken interest in you and you had begun joining them for lunch every day. Until one day you ended this tradition, went quiet, and then eventually stopped coming to work altogether.

If it wasn’t for Delia’s concern and Billie’s intrigue (and slight annoyance), they never would have seen you again.

To be honest, you weren’t sure how you would have made it out of that never-ending spiral.

This was why Cordelia was so anxious, because it is almost impossible to tell when you are struggling until you are too far gone.

“Alright love.” Billie said, pulling Delia into her and stroking her back. “Let’s talk to her tonight, together.”

Cordelia nodded and tucked her head into the crook of Billie’s neck, breathing in her calming scent of vanilla and freesias.

She felt so grateful to have two girlfriends who listened and validated her worries.

That was what was so beautiful about the love the three of you shared. It was all equal - respect, support and adoration.

Now, it was their time to lift you up.

------

Time seemed to hold no meaning to you anymore. The hours, days, weeks all merged into one continuous blur.

The stress had taken a physical hold on you, butterflies stampeding within your stomach and a permanent thrumming settling over your head.

You couldn’t even remember the last time you relaxed your shoulders, or took a deep breath.

It was all because of a job interview. Not just any old job, your dream job, the sort of career you dreamed about since childhood. The idea of the interview looming on the horizon, determining all your future, was too much pressure for you to handle.

You knew that avoidance as a coping mechanism was unhealthy and unnecessary, but it was comforting. If no one found out that you failed, it wouldn’t exist. You could go on with your life and pretend that nothing had ever happened.

Except you hadn’t failed, yet.

The interview was tomorrow, and you were running on no sleep or much food. But most of all, you missed your girlfriends.

“Sweetpea?”

The voice, however gentle and soft, made you jump. You were so caught up in your mind and your isolation that you hadn’t expected anyone there.

“I’m so sorry sweet girl, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Cordelia apologised, taking a step towards you carefully.

You had taken over a tiny room in the east wing of Robichaux, turning it into a makeshift office so you could cram for this interview.

For the last week, you had basically not left the room except for late at night. Even when it was time for bed you couldn’t switch off, laying in between your sleeping partners with eyes wide, thinking of the worst.

“It’s okay Delia.” You spoke roughly.

Cordelia took a deep breath and slightly clenched her fists.

Oh no, an intervention.

“Sweetpea. My love.” Delia said softly. “We’re so worried about you.”

And that was all it took. One show of care, of love, and you burst into tears.

It was as if the weight had been released from your chest, the pressure of having to hold up the stress on your own.

“My baby love.” Cordelia shushed rushing over and grasping your cheeks with careful hands.

Without words, she ran her fingers over your tears. The Supreme didn’t have healing powers, but the care that she brushed your cheeks with felt more soothing than any spell.

The love in her eyes could cure all the ailments in the world.

“Come with me, sweetpea. We’ll take care of you.”

Despite your anxiety, you complied. You would follow her anywhere she asked, and do whatever she wanted.

Walking up the stairs tucked under Cordelia’s arm like a wounded child felt humbling, yet relieving. You hadn’t actually realised how bad things had gotten so quickly.

Suddenly you felt exhausted beyond belief, and every muscle in your body groaned.

Your legs buckled beneath you, but luckily you had reached the top of the stairs. With no energy left to walk even a step, you fell into Billie Dean Howard’s arms.

She led you to your bed, and the three of you sat, intertwined.

“What’s going on, baby?” Billie whispered, hands combing through your hair.

Instead of answering, you took a shuddering breath. You were so overwhelmed, yet still held on to that tiny semblance of control that was left.

“You can talk to us sweet girl. Take a deep breath, you’re safe.”

Summoning all the will you had left, you took an inhale through your nose, and let out a shaky breath through your mouth. Instantly, you felt a little tension release.

After a few deep breaths, you turned to your girls and sighed.

“I’m sorry for doing the avoidance thing again. I know I promised to come to you when things are too much, but I’m still learning.” You sniffed.

Cordelia kissed your temple, and Billie smiled sadly, nodding to encourage you to continue.

“I’ve got an interview tomorrow, and it means the world to me. I’m terrified that I won’t get the job and I’m scared I’m failing you and I’m a burden and-“

“Sh honey, sh. Keep breathing.” Billie guided your head into her chest to feel her heartbeat.

“Listen to me sweetpea. Never ever will you be a burden to us, or fail us, or disappoint us in any way. You’re our little angel, and everything you do is a blessing to us.” Cordelia gently spoke.

“You’ve got this babygirl.” Billie said with conviction. “But even if you don’t get the job, there’s other ways of doing what you love.”

“And we will be here, by your side, whatever you do.” Cordelia finished.

Unconditional love was not something you were used to, and it choked you up every time that your partners showed you support.

“I love you both so much.”

“You’re safe sweetheart. We love you.”

This was repeated until you fell asleep, tucked in between the women that you adored the most. Soothed with loving kisses and a newfound hope in your heart, you slept better than you had in a while.

Everything was possible here. Everything was possible in the arms of your guardian angels.

------

Never in your life had you had such a positive interview.

You went in feeling empowered, not just because of your preparation, but also from words of encouragement that your girlfriends provided as they dropped you off.

Knowing that they were both waiting outside, there for you whatever the outcome, was a game-changer. With the tension and the pressure fully released, you were able to enjoy the interview and to talk about what you were passionate about.

Even though the interviewers weren’t planning on doing so, they offered you the job on the spot.

So, practically skipping out of the building, you decided that this was the happiest you had ever felt.

Two beautiful girlfriends and a new job. Could things get any better?

(Yes, they could! But more on that later)

“Baby! How was it?”

“How are you feeling love?”

Both your girlfriends spoke in unison as you entered the car, anxious to hear how you had done.

You fake-pouted, making a sad face.

“Honey, I’m so sorry you-“ Delia started.

Billie Dean bursted into laughter at how gullible Cordelia could be.

“Sweetheart, she’s clearly joking! So, does this mean it went well?”

“Better than well! They offered me the job!” You beamed.

Your girls screamed and practically tackled you into the backseat, squashing you with hugs and smothering you with kisses.

“Woah woah woah,” you said cheekily. “Save that for later ladies, we’re in a busy car park!”

“Idiot!” Billie Dean exclaimed, slapping you fondly on the shoulder.

“We’re so proud of you sweet girl.” Delia spoke, giving you a gentle kiss.

“And we’ve got a surprise for you, waiting at home.”

------

One of the surprises turned out to be a long, luxurious bubble bath with both of your girlfriends.

Your tub was practically the size of a jacuzzi, so there was plenty of room for the three of you. Big soapy suds filled the room, as well as the comforting smell of Billie Dean’s vanilla body wash, and Cordelia’s lavender diffuser.

It smelt like home.

You laid back on Billie Dean, whilst Cordelia sat with your legs in her lap, lightly massaging the skin.

Billie placed kisses from your hairline, down to the bottom of your neck, whispering affirmations of love and adoration as she went.

When you all got out, you all dressed in pyjamas, and settled to watch your favourite movie, with your favourite dinner and snacks, of course.

“We’re going to take you on a picnic in that tulip field tomorrow, sweetpea.” Delia spoke.

“I’ve already got your favourite books packed, my darling!” said Billie.

“Thank you my angels. Today has been perfect.” You sighed happily.

“Not so fast sweet girl. We have one last surprise for you.”

“Yes love, close those pretty eyes for a second.”

You complied, wondering what they could possibly be scheming about now.

“Okay!”

“3”

“2”

“1”

“Open!”

You opened your eyes as something warm and squirming was placed into your lap.

Squinting at the light, you peered closer.

It couldn’t be?

A little black kitten!

“Oh my Myrtle!” You shouted, exited beyond belief.

“It’s a girl!” Billie smiled.

“She’s so beautiful.” You choked out tearfully.

This furry baby was the perfect completion to your little family.

“We knew you wanted a cat for a while sweetpea, and we found this tiny girl in the greenhouse last week with a poorly foot. Misty has fixed her up, and she’s all yours!” Delia spoke.

“What are you going to name her, baby?” Billie Dean questioned

“Hm…I know!” You said.

“I’m going to call her Bean.”

And so, Bean Stevie Howard-Goode (Misty insisted on picking the kitten’s middle name, of course) became the newest member of the coven.

Not a day went by when you didn’t lean on your girls again. Times could be rough at points, but you all got through it together, as a unit.

As a family. Forevermore.

#ahs #american horror story #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #cordelia goode #cordelia goode x reader #billie dean howard #billie dean howard x reader #billie dean howard x cordelia goode #billie dean howard x cordelia goode x reader

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stayevildarling · 1 month

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I just found ur account and I wanna say how much I love your stories, especially the Cordelia×Wilhemina×Billie and reader ones ❤️ I wanted to ask if you could write one where both wilhemina and reader have had a bad day, and once they come home to their other girlfriends, wilhemina snaps at reader for something due to the bad day she had and reader snaps back which shocks them all? Maybe abit angsty with fluff at the end 💕

Wilhemina Venable x Cordelia Goode x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Glimpse of us

tw: angst, cursing

word count: 3.5k

taglist: @lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay,@whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson,@isle-of-earle,@paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26

As you finally enter the familiar walls of your shared home, the weight of the day's troubles seems to hang heavy on your shoulders. Despite your best efforts to shake off the stress from work, it clings to you. Billie and Cordelia are quick to notice the tension, you entering the academy first, Wilhemina following behind with an expression that almost would have scared them, if they didn't know the redhead so well by now.

"Hey there, love," Cordelia greets you softly, her voice infused with concern as she invites you to take a seat.

You manage to nod weakly in response, not trusting your voice to betray your frustration. Billie, ever perceptive shoots you a sympathetic glance, before looking over at Wilhemina, hesitating whether to take a seat or leave to the comfort of her own office.

,,Come on, I made dinner, love'' Cordelia tries gently, somehow convincing the redhead to sit down.

The meal feels dreadful, the awkward tension in the air, not only making you and Wilhemina uncomfortable but evenly your two blonde girlfriends. Cordelia tries for a while, to make conversation and include you and Wilhemina, barely coaxing any words out of either of you two, you not daring to look up at your redhead girlfriend after the events from today.

Sighing in frustration, Billie eventually breaks the silence, not being able to stand the silence ,,Okay, what is going on you two?'' she questions, her gaze flickering between you and the redhead. Wilhemina doesn't look up, she simply continues her meal as if nothing happened and it infuriates you. Cordelia notices your tension, placing a gentle hand on your leg in an attempt to comfort you. Billie's eyes meet yours, pleading with you to fill them in, let them help, fix this palpable tension between you, usually filled with so much warmth, love and adoration.

And then Wilhemina's gaze meets yours, unexpectedly and right there you find yourself back in the events from earlier today, her intense gaze clouding your memory with her sharp words,

,,Why are you always breathing down my neck? Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate?'' Wilhemina snapped, the frustration very clear in her features and laced in her voice.

,,I'm sorry, I just wanted to help you, I thought we are supposed to be a team'' you began, trying to defend your actions.

Her gaze lingered on yours, knuckles turning white as she grips onto her cane hard ,,Well maybe if you actually did your share off the work, instead of constantly distracting me, we wouldn't be in this mess'' she snapped, her voice filled with venom.

You scoffed, trying to swallow your frustration and pain ,,Oh so now it's my fault?'' you spat, your emotions getting ahold of you. ,,Typical, you always find a way to blame me for everything''.

She rubs her temples in frustration then, hating for the way this escalated, not expecting your reaction and too stubborn to fix it now. ,,I'm not blaming you for everything but you're not exactly making things easier right now'' she carried on, her features already softening at this point, voice less filled with anger.

And usually, you would have faltered there, simply accepting she was in a mood and leave her to cool off for a bit. You would have never spoke again after that statement but today had triggered your mood in ways it never has and so with one final statement you end the conversation taking place in the redheads office. ,,Fine, I'll just leave you alone then. Maybe you'll appreciate it more when I'm not around to bother you'' you spat, on the verge of tears but doing your best to hide those.

,,Yeah, maybe I will'' she spat in return. You stood frozen in the spot for a moment, knowing this was your fault as you shouldn't have lowered yourself to her mood, shouldn't have talked back but it hurt. Her statement hurt and you missed the way her features softened as she saw tears sparkling in your beautiful eyes. You simply scoffed, turned around and left.

The two of you didn't speak for the remainder of the day, you did your own things in your office, working hard to ignore and forget about the argument with your girlfriend. You had always doubted whether it was a good idea to work with Wilhemina. She suggested it in the end, explaining how a position needed filling, one where she would be close to you and could keep an eye on you. And undeniably, she did just that. Making sure her bosses aren't anywhere too close to you as they couldn't be trusted. You did an immaculate job and the mishap that day definitely wasn't on you but the redhead couldn't keep her frustration in and when you kept asking and asking her what you could do to help, she snapped, assuming you would take it better, not expecting your reaction as she didn't calculate the fact, that maybe, just maybe you haven't had a good day either.

,,Wilhemina, what did you do?'' Billie snaps, her sharp voice bringing you back into the present. You didn't realise that you must have zoned out for a moment, only now realising your cheeks are wet, Cordelia looking at you with so much concern, so much worry.

,,And what makes you think this has anything to do with me?'' Wilhemina spits, meeting the blondes gazes before bringing another fork, full of food to her mouth.

But the medium was having none of her usual antics, unable to see her babydoll hurting. ,,Because usually Wilhemina, you and Y/N return from work giggling, hands and eyes all over each other'' Billie spits. Your eyes find Cordelia, not being able to stand the tension in the room, not wanting to drag them into the argument as well. The supreme notices how uncomfortable you are, quickly stopping the other two.

,,Enough'' she simply states, meeting their eyes with a silent warning and as Billie notices your shivering form, she complies, stopping but her redhead lover is far from stopping.

As Cordelia gently wipes the tears from your cheeks, you hear her voice ring through the air yet again. ,,Yeah that's right, let them coddle you again, poor girl'' she spits, her words causing for both blonde heads to snap into her direction.

Your chair scraps against the wooden floor, standing up, startling both Billie and Cordelia a little but the redhead enjoyed it, igniting your flames. She balances on her cane standing up, waiting for your next move.

,,You know what? fuck you'' you spit, Cordelia's eyes widening and Billie's jaw dropping, this definitely not like you at all.

,,I'm sick of it, you constantly treating me like shit at work, do you have any idea how much your words hurt me earlier? If you don't want me around to bother you fine- I won't'' you snap, your emotions bubbling out of you.

,,Y/N'' Billie exclaims, both in a scolding manner for raising your voice but equally shocked at your sudden outburst.

With a swift motion, Wilhemina steps forward, her expression a mixture of anger, guilt and pain. You aren't looking at her, keeping eye contact with Billie but out of the corner of your eyes, you see Wilhemina's hand move towards you but before she has the chance, you stop her, taking her wrist.

,,Don't you dare'' you spit, now looking into her eyes. The tension is thick, your words lingering in the air as well as the redheads actions.

A second later you let go of her wrist, and turn around, needing to cool off, a lump forming in your throat. ,,Y/N'' Cordelia tries, but you are long gone, banging the bedroom door shut after you made it upstairs.

The three of them remain frozen in their spots, Billie still sitting at the table, her mouth slightly ajar, not able to believe the scene she just witnessed. Cordelia stands frozen by the table, holding onto it for support, before approaching Wilhemina, who stands frozen in the same spot you had left her in, her arm not having moved since you let go of her grasp.

,,Darling'' Cordelia tries as she approaches her girlfriend, the redhead not being able to look into her eyes as her gaze falls to the floor. ,,I- I had no intention of-'' she begins but the supreme is quick to interrupt her, taking her hand into her own. ,,I know my love, I know'' she reassures, rubbing soothing circles on her lovers hand.

,,I wanted to -'' she tries again but the words get caught in her throat. ,,I know darling, you wanted to calm her down'' she finishes the words for her. ,,I know you didn't mean to hit her but she wasn't looking at you, don't go there please'' Cordelia tries.

Wilhemina falters under the blondes gaze, not daring to look at Billie, not wanting any judgement from the medium. ,,I'll be in my office'' she announces before walking off, her cane hitting the floor hard. And as Cordelia and Billie follow her with their eyes, they see how broken and tired their girlfriend looks, ascending the stairs. The weight of the situation very visible in her features and posture.

,,What the hell was that?'' Billie comments, making sure the redhead's office door bang shut before she begins.

Cordelia meets her gaze before her eyes fall to the floor ,,I don't know'' the supreme mumbles, feeling guilty for not having interjected this before it blew up the way it had. ,,She wasn't going to-'' Billie begins, playing with her acrylic nails in a nervous habit. ,,No'' Cordelia quickly interrupts, her features a little stern for Billie even suggesting that she would have hit you.

,,Should we go talk to them?'' Billie tries, walking over to the supreme and stroking her cheeks, in order to make the concern fade from her beautiful features.

,,I think Mina needs to cool off'' she argues, taking a deep breath. ,,Let's try with our babydoll then, hm?'' the medium replies and is met with an empathetic smile, before she nods in agreement.

----

There aren't a lot of times when you wish you could be a witch but right now was certainly one of those times. All you wanted to do was take the entire bedroom apart, smash things, kick and break things, let your anger out that way. But unfortunately you couldn't fix it all again with a flick of your wrist. And so instead you pace, back and forth, fists clenching and muttering angry words to yourself. You barely hear the door knock and you definitely don't acknowledge it, wanting to be left alone, no matter who was behind that door.

As the two blondes enter, they exchange a glance noticing your pacing, Billie actually finding it quite adorable as you rarely got mad or upset like this. But she remained serious of course, not wanting to upset you further.

,,Sweetheart?'' Cordelia begins gently, as she remains lingering by the door, not wanting to overwhelm you with their presence.

Halting your steps, you simply look at them, their worried glances upsetting you even further because the last thing you wanted was drag them into it.

,,Do you think you can talk to us babydoll?'' Billie tries next, taking a few gentle steps towards you. But you retreat, taking some steps away from her and for a moment Billie gets scared, not being able to handle rejection well.

,,No, this is between me and .. Mina'' you mutter out, sounding more moody than you intend to.

,,Darling, I worry that you two may need a little help sorting this out'' Cordelia tries, knowing for sure Wilhemina was stubborn and by your earlier outburst, she for the first time didn't trust you enough to fix this with the redhead without support.

,,Cordelia I don't need you to coddle me all the -'' you quickly stop yourself, forcing your eyes shut and cursing internally as to why you would let it out on the angels in front of you.

,,Delia I'm so sorry'' you quickly start but as you open your eyes, you already find her in front of you with a gentle smile. ,,I know darling, come here'' she invites as she opens her arms and right there you falter, allowing her to hold you, ignoring the thoughts of how Wilhemina was right about them coddling you and allowing it to happen.

After a little while, she scoops you into her arms, taking you over to the bed where you lay in her lap, Billie following and positioning herself next to you. ,,Can you tell us sweetie, hm?'' the medium tries again, her eyes twinkling with love and encouragement.

And then it spills out of, the horrible day you have had at work as Jeff and Mutt provoked you all day, sending you on all sort of errands and even one of them making you incredibly uncomfortable. Delia makes a mental note there, knowing that bit needed to be adressed at another time. How something in the production went wrong and they made you and Mina fix it. But only Mina really had the skills and despite trying your best you couldn't fix it and all you wanted was to help her. The words that followed after and the argument between you two. How you thought she was going to hit you, despite only seeing something out of the corners of your eyes, how you know she would never hurt you and how horrible you feel for making her feel that way.

By the end of your confession you are sobbing into Cordelia's chest, feeling horrible for being so stubborn and angry. Billie and the supreme simply hold you, drying your tears, whispering words of encouragement into your ears. And when you finally calmed down, Billie hooks your chin, wiping all your tears and giving you a soft smile, followed by a kiss on your forehead.

,,Sweetie that is all very understandable and I'm sure neither you nor Mina meant any of it, it sounds like a big misunderstanding'' she tries and your eyes simply wander to her lips, following her every word.

,,I want to talk to her'' you eventually mutter out, looking up at Cordelia, still holding you close. They exchange a glance, figuring you had calmed down enough by now, despite being a little worried about your other girlfriend and whether she felt the same already. ,,Sweetheart, would you like us or one of us to come with you?'' she tries but you shake your head and slowly climb out of her lap.

,,Thank you both'' you smile, a little shy and they simply give you a big proud smile, as they remain on the bed. However as soon as you shut the door, their worried gazes meet, unsure whether this would end well.

As you make your way to Wilhemina's office, assuming that's the only place where she would be, your heart bangs inside your chest, legs trembling a little as well as your hands. You take a deep breath, close your eyes for a minute, before your shaky hands knock on her door, quiet enough not to startle her but loud enough for her to hear you.

There is no reply and for a second you consider turning around, maybe she isn't ready yet to talk and needs some time to cool off. But then worry lingers on your mind, wanting your Mina to be okay but before you can think it over further you hear a quiet ,,Come in'' and you do instantly.

As you glance around her office, you notice the scattered documents on the floor, her cane on the floor, Mina sitting in her armchair. You assume she threw it across the room, hence the scattered things everywhere. ,,Mina, can we talk please?'' you try gently as you step towards the middle of the room. Before she replies you kneel down in order to pick up some of her things, off the floor, not wanting her to do it in the end and potentially hurt her back.

,,I'm not a child, I don't need you cleaning up my messes'' she snaps, but you ignore her, neatly putting the documents on her desk and reaching for her cane scattered somewhere. As you walk over, you place it next to her, ready to leave her alone again but she suddenly takes your hand. ,,You're bleeding'' she states and as you look at your palm you indeed notice a cut, bleeding down your wrist. ,,It's fine Mina'' you mutter out, realising you must have picked up a piece of glass as you collected the documents, probably from a glass or mug being thrown around.

As you try and withdraw your wrist, she meets your gaze, not letting go. ,,Let me'' she tries and as much as you want to tell her that you aren't a child in return, you simply let her guide you to the bathroom connected to her office. As you lean on the bathtub, inside her bathroom plastered in lilac, you watch as she carefully opens her medicine cabinet, several bottles of different medication neatly placed, before she withdraws the first aid kit. She pulls out a disinfected spray and a bigger bandaid before approaching you.

Her eyes meet yours and you see pain in them, guilt, fear and without thinking about it your non bleeding hand cups her cheek, taking you both by surprise. ,,I'm so sorry'' you whisper as she slightly melts into your touch.

,,This will hurt a bit'' she explains calmly before you extract your hand and watch as she takes care of the cut for you. In awe you watch how gentle her movements are, spraying some disinfectant on the wound, before gently wiping it clean and wrapping it up in a band aid. Her eyes scan your features, looking for any kind of pain or discomfort but there was none. ,,Thank you Mina'' you whisper as she places the first aid kit back into the cabinet.

,,I understand if you don't want to talk to me'' you simply whisper before giving her a thankful smile as you look at your hand. As you step out of the bathroom and towards the door, she stops you. ,,Y/N'' she tries, her features filled with pain, tears beginning to form in her dark brown orbs.

,,I'm so sorry for saying all those things to you'' you apologise, your eyes pleading for her forgiveness.

,,Did you really think I was going to-?'' she begins but you instantly stop her ,,No'' you reassure her, meeting her eyes as you make the statement.

,,I know you would never hurt me Mina and I'm sorry for overreacting'' you begin, explaining how you misread the signs and how you know now that she simply wanted to comfort you.

,,I don't want you to be scared of me'' she whispers, a tear streaming down her cheeks. ,,I'm not Mina'' you quickly reassure as you brush the tear from her perfect features.

A little while later, Cordelia is now the one pacing around the bedroom, Billie's attempts to calm her down failing with each try. ,,I'm sure they are fine'' Billie keeps repeating but the supreme couldn't help but worry. ,,Screw it, I'm going to check'' she states, leaving the room and Billie following after her rushed, her heels clicking on the floor as they walk down the tiled corridor.

As Cordelia opens the door, she finds you curled up in Wilhemina's lap, the two of you sitting in her large purple armchair in the corner. Neither of you are talking, as all the talking had been done, simply enjoying each others company as her fingers take turns from running through your hair and gently caressing the cut on your hand through the bandaid. You listen to her heartbeat, holding onto her for dear life, not wanting to let her go.

The supreme smiles, all the worry leaving her features. ,,Told you Ms Supreme'' Billie teases.

,,Would you like to go to bed, little one?'' Mina whispers gently, tilting her head a little to look at you.

You simply nod and leave her lap, instantly missing to be this close to her. Passing her the cane, she balances before you follow the two blondes to the bedroom. After you get changed, you lay down, Billie and Cordelia to your left and waiting for your Mina.

As she finally approaches the bed, you take in her features, hair down and one of your favourite nightgowns that you had bought for her. ,,Mina?'' you whisper as she comfortably positions herself next to you. ,,Yes my sweet girl?'' she whispers as her gaze meets yours. ,,Can you hold me?'' you ask and the way your question came out, causes for more tears to almost escape. ,,Come here'' she coos as you wrap yourself up in her arms.

,,And little one?'' she whispers softly, still trailing her fingers through your hair. ,,I never want you to leave me alone'' she admits, thinking back to the argument and her earlier statement. ,,I know'' you whisper before holding onto her, again for dear life.

#cordelia goode #cordelia goode imagine #cordelia goode x reader #sarah paulson #wilhemina venable x reader #wilhemina venable #billie dean howard #Billie Dean Howard x reader #ahs #American horror story #ahs coven

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marchtomydrums · 9 months

Text

Group Chats 5

Cordelia Goode x Mina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader

You: “Okay I'm bored as fuck here! Sooo let's play Smash or Pass!”

Billie✨: “ Yes I love this game!”

Delia🖤: “ Y/n you shouldn't talk about women this way. I mean come on guys.”

Billie✨: “ Relax Delia it's just a game.”

Mina💜: “ What the hell is Smash or Pass?”

You: “ It's a game. I say a person's name and you say smash or pass. Pass you wouldn't have sex with them or smash you would. “

Billie✨: “ It's pretty self-explanatory Vennie. 🙄”

Mina💜: “ Bite me, Howard! I don't have time for games I have to work unlike some of you.”

Delia🖤: “ Yeah because working with girls ages 7-26 isn't a job. Oh, and they have powers!”

Billie✨: “ I literally talk to dead people!”

You: “She's talking about me. It's me!🙋‍♀️”

Delia🖤: “Don't be rude to her Mina she has her studies!”

Billie✨: “ Yeah Vennie Relax. Say a name y/n.”

You: “ Lana Parrilla.”

Billie✨: “ SMASHH!”

Delia🖤: “ Smash”

Mina💜: “ Pass.”

You: “What?! Mina pass?”

Mina💜: “ If you insist I play this game don't question my choices.”

You: “ Fine. Mariska Hargitay.”

Billie✨: “ Oh Smash for sure!”

Delia🖤: “ Smash. I love her on SVU.”

Mina💜: “ Pass.”

You: “ Cate Blanchett.”

Billie✨: “ Pass. Not my type.”

Delia🖤: “Smash.”

Mina💜: “ Pass.”

Billie✨: “ Oh my god Vennie are you going to pass on everyone?!”

Delia🖤: “ Yeah you're not even playing.”

Mina💜: “ Well I'm sorry I don't find any of these women attractive and I certainly wouldn't smash them as you put it.”

Billie✨: “ There has to be someone you would smash.”

Mina💜: “ Nope.”

Delia🖤: “Jesus. Say a name y/n.”

You: “ Billie Dean Howard.”

Billie✨: “ 👀”

Delia🖤: “ Smash. 😉”

You: “ Smash. 😏”

Mina💜: “ Now that isn't fair you guys said celebrities.”

You: “ Cordelia Goode.”

Billie✨: “ Smash. 😛😘”

You: “Smash. 😏”

Delia: “ ☺️”

Mina💜: “ This isn't going to work because you said..”

You: “ Me.”

Billie✨: “ SMASHHHH!”

Delia🖤: “ Smash!!”

……..

…….

Delia🖤: “ Mina?”

Mina💜: “ Dammit smash!”

You: “ Yes! Victory is mine!”

Mina💜: “ Yeah because you cheated.”

You: “No I didn't. We never said this game was only for celebrities and you said there wasn't a person you would say smash to. Which you did so I win! 🥳”

Mina💜: “ Whatever. I have to get back to work.”

You: “Wilhemina Venable. 😏”

Billie✨: “ Smash! 😛💦”

Delia🖤: “ Smash. 😘😉”

You: “ Smash!! 🥵🥵”

Minq💜: “ The three of you are idiots! But I love you. I will see you in an hour. Love you 😘😘😘.”

Billie✨: “ Love you.”

Delia🖤:” 😘♥️”

You: “ I love you!!!♥️”

#lgbtq #wlw #writing #fiction #television #age difference #poly representation #cordelia goode x reader #ahs coven #ahs apocalypse #billie dean howard #wilhemina x reader #group chat #smash or pass #funny stuff

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dreamypqulson · 11 months

Text

— my only sunshine

summary: you’ve been struggling in silence but it hasn’t gone unnoticed.

pairing: cordelia goode x reader

warnings: depression, anxiety, self-harm (pretty detailed, be careful)

word count: 2700

venting again lol

Your leg shaking up and down was becoming excessive. You could see the girls next to you becoming annoyed, but you hardly realized that you were doing it. Tears pooled in your eyes and it burned so badly to hold them in. Why does Cordelia have to look at me so much? Why can't she just glance over me like everyone else and let me wallow away in the corner?

Everyone knew that you were Cordelia's special girl. You didn't think it had anything to do with your powers, she just liked you. And you liked her. But that was it; you were both too afraid to acknowledge it. What she wasn’t aware of was your history with mental health, which you tried so hard to conceal from her.

You don't think you were doing a very good job hiding it this time. How could you hide the fact that you don't want to live anymore?

Everyone knew you looked terrible lately. Madison had even pointed it out. Your eyes were dark, and hollow, and you just didn't look like yourself. Madison said you were just a freak that was too caught up in your studies to barely allow yourself some time to sleep, but Cordelia knew that wasn't true. Matter of fact, it was the complete opposite.

Cordelia dismissed yet another class that had completely gone through one ear and out the other. Spacing out is the one time that you actually feel safe and you so happen to be the best at it during class.

Everyone rushed out. You were a little slower because you were so exhausted and picking up your books felt like you were ripping open the cuts on your wrist. You thought you could feel like blood dripping down, but it might've just been your anxiety freaking you out.

"Oh, y/n, could you stay for a minute, love," Cordelia asked when you were by the doorway, ever so sweet but you still bit the inside of your mouth until you could taste blood.

You spun slowly on your heels. You loved Cordelia but you didn't want to stay. You were terrified of confrontation and you just wanted to throw yourself into your bed again.

You didn't respond and kept a great distance between you and Cordelia. She was so warm, she was your comfort, and you ached to have her hold you, but you just wanted the darkness right now.

She still walked closer towards you and you almost started to cry from the nerves. You started scratching at your band-aid covered wrists. You don't know why you do that when your nervous, it just feels good in the moment.

She looked down at your arms, then back up at you. Does she know? Did your sleeve rise when you went to reach for something? "Relax, honey. You're not in trouble. I just want to check on you."

"I'm fine," it came out weak.

She raised an eyebrow at you and gave you that look. Anyone could tell that you weren't okay, it was just a matter of who would be there for you when you fall apart.

Your bottom lip started to tremble. A clear indication that you were ready to break down. Cordelia just watched, letting you control yourself before she made you explode completely.

"How about we take a walk outside, around the house, and get some fresh air, yeah?" You nodded and you were suddenly following her out the door. Anything someone says to you hasn't really been processing in your head. You truly just feel like a leaf being blown in every direction.

It was nice out, slightly chilly with a breeze, but it did not seem to snap you from your state of mind. It was quiet for a minute before Cordelia began talking to you again. You knew she was trying to distract you from your thoughts, but it's not really want you want right now.

"So what have you been up to, missy? Are you still writing?" She looked over at you, gently smiling. She loved reading all of your work, but it had been a few weeks since she had. She's been a little bit busy and you've been locking yourself in your room.

"Yeah, a little bit, I guess." It was a complete lie, but your didn't feel like getting into the fact that you could hardly bring yourself to even get out of bed, let alone write.

She wanted to have a full conversation with you, but you weren't having it. She just became silent as you both finished the walk around the building. She always takes you to walk around the city with her, but she had an inkling that you weren't going to want to leave the property.

Cordelia didn't want to let you go yet. She had a bad feeling and she knew something just wasn't right with you. She felt uneasy. But she couldn't hold you back when you told her you had to go study. You would never pass up hanging out with Cordelia to study, and she knew that, but she just let you go.

When you got to your room, it was all messy. Had you had the energy to keep it as tidy as you always did then maybe your anger levels wouldn't have increased when you walked in. You decided to ignore it and step over the pile of clothes and make your way into the bathroom.

There, you dug through your drawer, looking for the blade that you kept hidden in the back. It was the one place that nobody could accidentally stumble upon it.

You sat down on the closed toilet lid and pulled up your left sleeve. Ripping off the bandaids had not even hurt as much as they should, you didn’t even flinch. You began cutting any free skin on your inner arms that you could. You hated that there wasn't that much room anymore due to all the other cuts, but you just couldn't seem to stop.

Sometimes it made you feel crazy but it mostly made you get some release. You knew you should at least try to stop with summer approaching but getting clean is never your top priority in the moment. Not when your arms start aching for more.

You just sit there with a blank face and watch as drops of blood start pooling at the thin lines and then you start dabbing it away with a tissue and apply some pressure.

Your heart absolutely drops when you hear a knock on your bathroom door. You weren’t expecting a visitor at your room, but living in this busy house, you never really get alone time.

"Y/n, it's me darling. Dinners ready." How could you have been so in your head that you lost track of time. You hardly even had an appetite but you knew that Cordelia was already having suspicions about you. You just had to act like everything was alright.

"Okay I'll be right down." Instead of wrapping your arm up, you simply just ran it under water for a moment and then pulled your sleeve down. It definitely stung, but you were starting to enjoy it.

When you walked out of the bathroom, Cordelia was waiting on your bed for you. You were expecting her to already be downstairs with the other girls, but she clearly had other plans.

"You're always neat, sweetie. What's going on with you?" You shrugged again, and soon, you thought, she's going to forget what your voice even sounds like. You began to walk out your room, and you can hear her shuffling behind you before she finally catches up. "Not in the mood to talk today?"

You'd rather Cordelia just hold you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear without expecting an answer. But at the moment, she's completely worried and just wants you to open up. "Not really, Cordelia."

She lets you slide again, but she can't take her eyes off of you all throughout dinner. She's sitting at the head of the table and you're at the first seat next to her. When you reach for your plate, she notices something that she wishes she didn't. She wishes it wasn't even there.

Your sleeve slides up, only slightly, and she can see smeared crimson on your wrist. Her heart sink and she has to swallow down the lump in her throat. After that, she cannot even look at you, or anyone for that matter, for the rest of dinner. She wasn't angry or embarrassed of you. Just so, so upset over the fact that her girl was hurting so badly.

Dinner finishes fairly fast. You notice there's not much chatter, and it must be from Cordelia's lack of interest in any of the conversation. You start worry that you hurt her feelings. She's always catching up with you and the girls - mostly you - during dinner, but today she hadn't even said a word.

"Y/n, meet me in my room please," Cordelia says, and it sounds almost cold compared to her typical soft voice. She walks away and heads towards her bedroom and your heart completely sinks. You fidget with the hem of your shirt and make way towards her room.

The door is ajar and by the time you're there, Cordelia is sitting on her bed in tears. This is it; she's going to kick you out.

"Cordelia?" You say and gather her attention back to you. She quickly wipes away her tears like you weren't supposed to see that, but there's no hiding her red, puffy eyes.

"Sit down please," she hardly looks you in the eyes. It's terrifying.

"I—" you attempt to argue. She has no part in that.

"Just sit down, y/n."

You sit beside her and it's so close that you bunch up your sleeve in your hand. You're consistently terrified of it rising. "Show me your arm."

"What—"

"Show me, y/n. I know what's going on. I know that you are hurting yourself."

You hug your arm closer to your body and can feel the sting like it's mocking you. Tears are instantly sprung to your eyes and it's clear that this situation isn't just a big misunderstanding.

"No! Leave me alone, Cordelia. What is wrong with you? Why would I ever do that." But you do do it and those words hurt so much. You wouldn't ever be so harsh to Cordelia, but you're not in the right mental state right now.

Cordelia's crying again and all you can think about is cutting up your arm for making her feel like that. You need to hurt yourself to pay for the faults you're causing and Cordelia can see right through that.

Her voice is very quiet and desperate as she speaks, "Baby, please. Please let me help you, I can't just pretend that it's not going on. I care about you too much."

This completely causes you to break down. You never had someone truly care about you. This is something that you've been yearning for forever.

You melt into Cordelia's body and she hugs you tightly, as if she let go, all of the pieces of you would just shatter everywhere. You can feel her tears start leaking through onto your shirt and you know she feels it too. "Please, y/n," she whispers, "I love you. Let me in, it's just me, it's only Cordelia."

You finally pull back and wipe away your tears. It doesn't stop another fresh batch of warm tears to roll down your face. You don't want to keep hiding this anymore. You need help. You need someone. You need her.

You take a deep breath and tug up your sleeve. You can't even bare to look at her face. Ashamed, and embarrassed, and scared. But you hear a sharp intake of breath from her. The bleeding from the cuts before dinner only made it look far worse on your fucked up skin.

"Oh, my baby," she sniffles and grabs your arm, gently. Your heart is too heavy. She's trying so hard to be strong for you. "Why," she looks up at you with watery eyes, waiting for an honest answer.

"Everything's just too much, Delia. I don't want to be me anymore. I hate being me, I hate living!" You started sobbing again and the crack in your voice doesn't go unnoticed. This is new and weird and you don't like it. You don't want to talk about yourself anymore. You can see her heart breaking in half from your words.

"My little sunshine...do you know I love you? I love the person that you say you hate so much." You don't have anything to say to that. Cordelia loves you. And you don't know how, but she does. You don't know how this whole could have any room for the broken half of you. “I couldn’t live without seeing your pretty smile and listening to you ramble to me about all the little things you love. So if you hate living so much, then let me love it for the both of us until you learn to.”

It’s silent for a couple moments that pass by until she looks back down at your arm again. It's a bloody mess and you don't want her to look anymore but she's still holding on. "Can I clean it? Can I do that for you?"

You nod and then you're being walked to her bathroom. It's bigger than yours and the entire room smells like her lavender shampoo that you always love taking in when she hugs you. She helps you to sit up on the counter. Your arm feels heavy from all the attention being on it but she so carefully cleans away the blood and it makes you feel a little bit better.

She covers it with bandaids. Not because she is disgusted by it. She's not at all. She just doesn't want anything infecting the fresh ones.

When she’s done, she lifts your arm up to her lips and, so delicately, kisses the covered cuts. A few tears start rolling down your face again. You’re too emotional for this. “Delia…”

“I love you,” she looks back up to you. Her words are so clear and genuine. “Come to me. I don’t care where we are or what time it is. Come to me whenever you feel like this.” You nod, your bottom lip trembling. She reaches her hand up and brushes her thumb over your lips. “It’s not going to be easy but i’m going to help you. We can make a plan and safe alternatives, anything that’ll help.”

She leans in and kisses your forehead, slow and light and your heart beats a little bit faster. “I love you too, Cordelia,” you croak out and she gives you that little smile.

“Come on, my little sunshine, let’s get some rest, hm?” She grabs your hand and brings you to her own bed. You’ve never slept with Cordelia before but it all feels natural. You lay your head on her chest and her arms wrap around your body. For once, you feel a sliver of happiness that you’ve been deprived of for so long.

The room is silent besides her soft breaths and the sound of cars rushing by. You finally break that silence after a few minutes.

“Delia?”

“Hm?” She peaks down a you and a small smile is present on her face again.

“Why do you always call me your little sunshine?” You say it with a slight giggle in your voice. You love all the nicknames she has for you, but this one stands out and makes your heart warm.

“Because, sweetie, I was in a very similar situation as you. But then you came into my life and suddenly there was light again.”

You looked up at her and bite your lip. You could’ve never imagined a woman like her feeling as terrible as you do. She’s too…perfect. But maybe, suddenly, you won’t feel so ashamed of your emotions anymore. You lean forward and place your sweet lips on hers. Just for a moment, for the first time in your life, you see a bit of sunlight shine through the cracks of your eyelids.

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oh-mydarling · 9 months

Text

𝐖𝐨𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

word count: 2.2K

warnings: talk of medication, light angst

The ticking of the clock was really the only thing you could focus on in the room, the only sound that broke through the fog of your nausea and rattled inside your skull, making your head pound ever so slightly.

Cordelia was at the front of the room, teaching her students and keeping a very keen eye on you; something was different. You were usually a perfect student, especially when you hung on her every word. Today, though, you seemed preoccupied.

When the class finished the only thing that notified you was the shuffling of your fellow students as they gathered their things and moved out of the room. Cordelia was stuck in place, preparing to teach another class straight after, so when you failed to hear her calling after you she sighed, vowing to catch up with you later in the day.

The next time you saw the supreme was at lunch, when you sat by her side avoiding eye contact, giving her the explanation that you were just tired and couldn’t wait to have a nice bath and go to bed tonight; that had led her off the scent for now.

When dusk fell, you were out in the greenhouse tending to your personal collection of plants. Although it was typically Cordelia’s domain, you had your own little corner to nourish while she pottered around in there. It had started as just an excuse to keep her company, but you found that the greenhouse brought you immense peace, especially when you weren’t feeling yourself.

Cordelia was in the kitchen, brewing herself a cup of tea to take back up to her office while she finished off some paper work for the day, when the door opened and the familiar sound of heels clicking down the hardwood floor echoed closer and closer to her.

Billie rounded the corner, huffing with the weight of the day, although her chest felt lighter when her eyes fell upon her wife waiting at the counter with shy eyes and a soft smile. “Hello, darling,” the medium greeted her, coming over to press a soft kiss to her lips and stroke her back, “how was your day?”

“Oh, the usual, broke up a fight, had to undo a spell,”

Billie chuckled, that kind of deep laugh that bloomed in your chest and spread like fire.

“Sounds eventful!” She retorted.

Cordelia hummed, stirring her tea while Billie kicked off her heels and padded over to the fridge to retrieve some red wine to dilute her stressed.

“Something’s up with y/n” Cordelia spoke into the silence, causing Billie to turn around, furrowing her brow, “how so?”

“She was distracted in class, barely stayed awake, didn’t eat a lot at lunch,” the supreme continued, listening her causes for concern.

Billie sighed, walking back over to her wife so they stood side by side, “I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation, Delia, she’s probably tired.”

“That’s what she said,” Cordelia explained, clearly not convinced.

“Well there you go, darling, don’t worry,” Billie spoke softly, brushing Delia’s hair over the back of her shoulder before taking a long sip of her wine.

The two blondes sat down at the kitchen table to share a quiet moment before dinner, exchanging kisses and sipping their drinks while they caught up on their separate days. It wasn’t long before you had wandered in, not really enjoying the greenhouse when it got dark.

You entered into the kitchen and Billie grinned warmly, “hello baby girl, come here,” she gestured her hands, beckoning you to sit on her lap. You did so without word, nuzzling into her neck and closing your eyes. This little catch up was somewhat a routine between the three of you and you never felt more at ease than when the three of you were back together, even when you were struggling internally.

Delia reached over to rub your knee, “you doing okay, love?” To which you replied with a soft nod and smile, yawning to back up your story; you were just tired, that’s all.

—————-

It was a few days later, a rainy summer Sunday, and you and Billie were curled up in the library. You were reading a novel, of course, and Billie was reading over a script for an upcoming episode of her TV show, highlighter in hand and the cap between her teeth, her brows furrowed in concentration.

The soft rainfall enveloped you in the room, providing a sense of warmth despite the storm developing outside.

A storm was also brewing within the coven, the rainfall of the outside world being mirrored by Cordelia’s slippers hammering down the stairs as she flew into the library, brow furrowed in anger as she stared at you with a hostility that you hadn’t ever seen directed at you before.

You sat upright, unnerved by the nervous magic that bounced around the room, making your hairs stand on end. Billie had also put down her script, asking Cordelia what on earth was going on, but she couldn’t break through the tunnel that you and the supreme were trapped in, a silent confrontation that had you trembling with unease.

“I was just cleaning the bathroom” she said with a cool tone, anger replaced with disgust, or as far as you could perceive.

“What the hell is this?” She threw the box into your lap, with an anger that dissipated into betrayal, eyes welling with tears when she saw you close your eyes and sigh; she was right, they were yours.

Billie sat next to you, still confused, “Can someone fill me in please?”

No, you couldn’t. The words could not leave your mouth and you were hoping that Cordelia would do that for you.

“Do you need time to get your story straight?” Cordelia asked, dripping with venomous sarcasm.

When you stared at her blankly she scoffed, turning directly to the medium.

“They’re fucking antidepressants, Billie Dean. And they’re hers.”

The supreme turned on her heels and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. You could hear her steps echo upward and across the hallway into her office, a second slam to signal her enclosure into her own space; she clearly needed it right now.

You and Billie were left behind in the room, equally dumbfounded. Billie looked at you hopelessly, waiting for a response, an explanation, anything, but you couldn’t bring yourself to articulate the words.

When you met her sad eyes you couldn’t help but crumble, tears flowing freely as you sobbed silently, frozen in place. She pulled you into her chest and your fist wrapped around the silk of her blouse while her manicured hand came to your back, rubbing soothing circles and whispering softly to you.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m not mad, I’ve got you.” She rocked you slightly, soothing you enough to dull the ache caused by Cordelia’s abrupt departure.

The thick silence of your secret and its consequences fell upon you, forming a pit in your stomach; this moment would extend into the next days, weeks, months of your life, and you found yourself sick with dread at how you would face it.

Billie held you as the sobbing slowed to a steady stream of tears, draining you from the inside out, until you had fallen asleep curled up on her lap, tears still leaking from your tired body. Billie was fighting her own tears, mind roaring with the thought of you suffering so silently, not feeling like you could lean on them, god it broke her.

In her office, Cordelia sat at her desk, head in her hands. She had memorised the name on the foil packet and had done her research; its reason for prescription, side effects, dosage; you name it. Now, the reality lay on her shoulders like a weighted blanket.

That reality was poisoned with guilt; you were clearly hurting, and she had flown off the handle. Thank god for Billie Dean. She always handled her emotions better. Cordelia felt things so deeply.

The medium had contemplated going to find the supreme so they could talk things through while you slept, but the thought of you waking up alone deterred her completely. For that reason, she was relieved when a coy Delia poked her head around the door, tiptoeing over once she saw you asleep.

“Hi,” she whispered, giving Billie a gentle smile.

The medium smiled in response, looking back down to you as she stroked the top of your head, a subconscious check that you were okay.

Cordelia sat down on the floor in front of you both, bringing her knees up to her chest, “I’m sorry,”

“I know, darling, but it’s not me who needs those words.”

Delia nodded; she did know, but part of her was relieved that you were asleep and she didn’t have to say them just yet.

She felt awful for how she had reacted, the self-loathing growing on her ribs like moss, but there was also a red tint of anger. You had hidden this from them, and she couldn’t help but feel so hurt.

“I told you something was up with her,” she sighed, looking pointedly at Billie.

“I know, you were right, but that’s not important any more, Delia. What’s important is the three of us dealing with this together.” Delia nodded, shifting nervously when she saw you start to stir.

Both women went quiet, waiting for you to wake up with bated breath. When you did open your eyes, you were met with the supreme staring at you worriedly, and tears immediately sprung from your tired eyes, causing her to hush you, scooting forward on the floor so she could stroke your hair.

“I’m so sorry, honey. That was out of order,” she whispered. She thought it might have been hard to apologise, but the moment she met your eyes she wanted nothing more than to resolve things and hold you close.

“I’m sorry I hid it,” you mumbled, sitting up slowly against Billie’s chest. She pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, staying quiet for a moment so you could speak with your other girlfriend.

“ I understand, honey. I get why you did it. But can we make a promise to be honest with each other from now on, hm?” She prompted gently, stroking her hand over the apple of your cheek.

“Yeah, I promise,” you mumbled, lunging forward to pull her into a hug, crying softly into her shoulder.

The two women shared a look of comfort, smiling softly as you sought comfort in your supreme.

Delia moved to stand up, prompting you to sit back against Billie’s chest so she could come and sit next to you.

The supreme rested a hand on your leg while Billie wrapped her arms around you, keeping you secure against her while she pressed kisses to the side of your head.

“Darling, we don’t have to talk about it just yet, but can I know how long you’ve been taking them?” Cordelia asked, giving you a reassuring smile.

“A week or so,” you mumbled, “the side effects are still bad.”

Cordelia nodded knowingly, it now becoming clear that the side effects were what had caused you to be so offish in the last few days.

“What are the side effects, honey?” Billie asked, squeezing you tighter. You listed them one by one, your girlfriends growing sadder with each one.

“I’m proud of you for getting help that you needed, but please don’t ever hide this from us again.” Cordelia scolded gently, making sure you knew they wanted nothing but to be there for you.

You nodded in agreement, feeling guilty at the whole ordeal, and you hoped that now the conversation would be dropped.

Not so fast, though. “How can we help you angel?” You shrugged, honestly not really sure; you couldn’t even figure out how to help yourself, let alone what you needed from them.

“Please don’t get mad at me anymore.”

You were angry with yourself for needing this in the first place, and the thought of your girlfriends being mad at you too made your stomach churn.

Cordelia smiled apologetically, “never ever, honey. I’m so sorry.”

“Why don’t we drop this for now and go and have a nap? I know I could do with it!” Billie suggested from behind you, and you agreed, being pulled up to your feet by Cordelia who led you upstairs, Billie in tow.

In the bedroom, you stripped down, choosing pyjamas from Billie’s drawer over your own. The other two stripped down to their underwear, already throwing back the covers as you headed back towards the bed.

“Come here, baby girl,” Billie coaxed, pulling you to lay your head on her chest as you curled into her side, Cordelia behind you holding you in place between them.

“Let’s shelve this until tomorrow, hm?” The medium suggested, with Cordelia humming in agreement.

There was still an unspoken tension that crackled in the air above you, but with each breath you took nuzzled between them, the tension slowly unraveled; things were uncertain, but what you knew for sure was their commitment to you and your relationship. Everything would be okay as long as they were by your side.

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